#I think the most infuriating part is she just doesn't like to go to the store

[agender-witchery]

I am not an expert in Japanese language or culture, but seeing people still being weird about Vivian's gender, even with the Thousand Year Door Remake out is infuriating, so I'm going to drop everything I've got here in case someone feels inclined to argue with some asshole still calling her a femboy or something.

To start: the original, 2004 Gamecube script.

Before I even get into whether Vivian is really being referred to using a crossdressing term (spoilers: she's not), let's address two other words that she herself uses in the original text.

Vivian uses "atai" (アタイ) as a first person pronoun in both the 2004 and 2024 scripts. atai is, put simply, extremely effeminate. I've had many people argue "Japanese pronouns aren't strict about gender like English pronouns!" and while this is technically correct, a female idol using "boku" to refer to herself and a theoretical femboy using "atai" to refer to himself are two very different situations. I am not well versed in the Japanese equivalent to femboy culture, but I would expect them to use "atashi" if anything.

Another word Vivian uses is "shimai" (姉妹) which means sister. This is in reference to herself and her sisters, where the three of them each say a part of the sentence introducing themselves. The full sentence (gonna ignore Beldam and Marilyn for now) is "We are... the three... Shadow Sisters!!" (われらは・・・　カゲ・・・　三姉妹っ！！). There just isn't a way to interpret this as anything other than her calling herself a woman, so most transphobes ignore it if you point it out, or insist that other characters are the authority on her identity rather than herself. I suppose this makes sense for them, as they are quite accustomed to telling trans women "You'll always be a man".

Vivian doesn't refer to herself using gendered language anywhere else, but to be honest, this should be enough. But whatever, let's keep going, let's actually look at the ways in which Vivian is called a boy. This is done by Beldam, Goombella, and the game systems for both TTYD and SPM.

On the topic of Beldam, she refers to Vivian as a "man" (オトコ) to put her down. In the English release, this was changed to Beldam calling her "plug-ugly" and so many people who deny Vivian's trans identity will point to this and say that Beldam calling Vivian a man isn't a denial of her being a woman, but rather an insult being directed at her since it's very offensive to call a woman a man. Yes, misgendering people is offensive, astute observation made by the transphobes. Worth noting that this is entirely inconsistent with the argument that Vivian is a femboy, but that has not stopped some people from arguing both. I've seen it with my own two eyes. This line comes immediately after Vivian including herself within the group of sisters, but sure, maybe Beldam specifically insulted Vivian by calling her a man instead of the much easier ugly insult that we got in the English release. I don't think that's true, but maybe that's what happened. Let's move on, because this is largely addressed in the remake.

On to Goombella. Her Tattle for Vivian states that she's "The youngest sister [of the trio]... no, wait, brother" (いちばん下の妹・・・　じゃなくて　弟ね). This is just misgendering, I don't have much to say, Goombella is not the authority on Vivian's identity.

Now for game systems. Specifically, the partner menu in TTYD and the catch card in SPM. Both of these refer to Vivian as a "boy" (オトコのコ). These are universally written in katakana, and in fact, other than Goombella's Tattle, all dialogue referring to Vivian's identity is written in katakana. I'll get to that in a bit. This reference to Vivian as オトコのコ is the basis for basically every claim that she's a femboy coming from Westerners. The thing here is that オトコのコ is pronounced "otokonoko" and is highly popular as a term within Japanese crossdressing communities... kinda.

See, the term that's used for crossdressing is 男の娘 while the term that simply means boy is 男の子. These are pronounced identically, but use different characters, the former uses the characters for "male" and "daughter" while the latter is "male" and "child". The crossdressing term is a pun and it is slang. It's a play on words, it effectively means "male daughter" but is pronounced "boy". The kanji is crucial to conveying this meaning in Japanese, because otherwise if you write オトコのコ people will just assume you mean the common, every day usage of boy without any crossdressing implications rather than the slang terminology. Additionally, katakana is often used for emphasis, like bold or italics or ALL CAPS. Since all words referring to Vivian's gender identity are written in katakana for both the original and the remake, this puts emphasis on her identity, as if it were very important to Vivian's character and her personal story.

But wait! There's more. 男の娘 would not even enter popular usage until 2006. TTYD came out in 2004. That's two years too early for the game to be referring to her in this way. The simple, not obtuse way of interpreting this is that it's just misgendering and not Nintendo inventing a time machine, grabbing slang from 2 years in the future, embedding it in their game, and then inconsistently referring to Vivian as a cis woman, a cis man, and a femboy across two games. This sort of misgendering where a character will be presented with "They look like a girl, but they're actually a boy!" is very common for early 2000's characters who would be updated to be unambiguously transgender in later media. You know, like Bridget? The 2002 character who would be updated to be trans in 2022? Turns out it was difficult to put trans people in media without backlash at the time! Daisuke Ishiwatari said as much when clarifying Bridget's gender.

But this is a post about Vivian, so let's get back on topic...

The 2024 Switch remake script

The Japanese text for the Switch remake includes changes that are... very front and center. You may have seen the English screenshots concerning Vivian's gender. If anything, these are downplaying it. The Japanese is much more blatant concerning Vivian being transgender. And these are changes coming from the Japanese writers who read the original script for the 2004 release and decided to write her this way in 2024. While the original writers credited from the 2004 release seem to be missing from the credits in the 2024 release (Hironobu Suzuki and Misao Fukuda), the director of the 2004 release is present in a supervisor role (Ryota Kawade).

I do not have the Japanese text of the Boggly Woods scene, as I am relying on other people's posting of text from the game since I'd like to finish the game in English first and I'm not even through Hooktail's Castle yet. I do have the text from Goombella, the partner menu, and the new dialogue in Twilight Town.

Let's start with Goombella and the partner menu, since those are straightforward. All references from Goombella to Vivian's gender are removed, and the partner menu now says "Has a boy's body, but a girl in their heart." in Japanese. I'll talk about that phrasing in a bit.

But the new dialogue! You've probably already seen it if you're reading this, but the English reads "Truth is, it took me a while to realize I'm their sister... not their brother. Now their usual bullying feels heavier." which, to me, is fairly unambiguous in what it means. I've seen people try to imply that it doesn't mean she's trans, but like, I'm not gonna humor that. I have seen earnest questions on why the last sentence is worded like that though, so I'll talk a bit about it at the end.

The Japanese text for this line, which again, is entirely new is "それに　じつは　アタイ・・・ 体は　オトコのコだけど ココロは　カワイイ　オンナのコなの" or in English "The thing is... I... I have a boy's body, but my heart is a cute girl's!". Now, "I have the body of X but my heart/soul is that of Y!" is, to my understanding, a very common way for trans people to express themselves in Japan, so this reads as a point blank Vivian turning to the camera and saying "I am transgender". And again, these are the Japanese writers from the company that wrote the original 2004 script who are familiar with and interpreted that script for their job that paid them actual money. If someone wants to insist exclusively on authorial intent and refuses to recognize localizers as authors (they are), then this is the authorial intent. Vivian is trans and the Japanese script went out of its way to make this as clear as possible. The line after this also has Vivian talking about having "girl’s feelings" (乙女心).

That all should be the end of the discussion. If people argue against this, I can't really say they're doing anything other than being deliberately obtuse to serve a transphobic agenda.

As for the wording in the English translation, about how the usual bullying Vivian had experienced felt heavier, that really just reinforces the trans narrative, but in a way that is mostly gonna be picked up by trans people, which is why I say the translation is downplaying it. I probably don't need to explain this here on the gay website, half of you are probably trans, but fuck it, maybe you haven't thought about it too hard. Transphobia isn't just being misgendered and receiving systemic discrimination, it's also just receiving more hate in general. This is true of all bigotry, whether you're a cis woman, trans, black, disabled, people will just focus on you and be more critical in general. For a trans audience, this is something that can be picked up on relatively easily, but for non-trans audiences, it might just seem like a non sequitur. I generally really like the changes, but I do wish this one specific sentence actually referenced transphobia in the most direct way possible, have her state with precisely zero uncertainty that her sisters called her a man to bully her.

Sources:

https://x.com/OatmealDome/status/1793081375005827084?t=_8mWED-nN4DFHIrXam7vJw&s=19

https://x.com/OatmealDome/status/1793116357384339692?t=qBbgfKuNT1hS51WFovTEDQ&s=19

https://tcrf.net/Paper_Mario:_The_Thousand-Year_Door/Regional_Differences#Vivian

[remlionheart]

NSFW Alphabet: Osamu Dazai Edition ♡

♡༊·˚ mdni. ((dedicating this to my pretty gf @bratbby333 since she's the dazai to my chuuya and some of these situations were in inspired by our unhinged 5 hour long facetimes calls, *cough cough* "blood-chilling" *cough cough* ♡)) this was honestly so much fun to write. dazai would be SUCH a diva in a relationship but he would also be so loving and protective ugh. lemme know whatcha think, luv u ♡༊·˚

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Dazai's almost always the first one out of bed after the fact. He already has a shower running for when he comes back into the room to hand you a towel and a glass of water. You tell him that your legs are too tired to walk all the way to the bathroom so he scoops you up into his arms. The two of you laugh as he carries you into the steam-filled room. He lets you get under the water first, squirting a generous amount of shampoo into his palm as he instructs you to turn around. "Suppose your hands are too tired to wash your hair, hm?" You bite back a smile, giving him a pitiful nod in response. "My poor girl." He hums. His long fingers massaging into your scalp feel like heaven. He leaves light kisses along your shoulder, running a washcloth over your body while whispering sweet little nothings like "How'd I get so lucky?" into your skin as he cleans you off. It's hard to believe this was the same man who was making you beg on your knees for him just twenty minutes ago.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Aside from his body's infuriating aversion to death, there aren't a whole lot of things that Dazai doesn't like about his appearance. Aesthetically speaking, he finds himself fairly attractive so it's hard to narrow down one thing he likes best. If he had to though, he'd probably go with his hands. He's always gotten compliments on them, but after seeing what strong reactions they're able to coax out of you so easily, he's realized they're one of his most valuable assets. As cliche as it may be, your eyes are his favorite feature. He finds it adorable how they always tell him what he needs to know without you ever having to say a word. They tell him when you want more, when you want less, when you're about to hit your breaking point. They guide him in the right direction every single time. Plus, they're just so fucking pretty to look at.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

The only thing more blissful to Dazai than hearing or seeing your orgasm is tasting it. His head is buried between your legs, his fingers pumping in and out of you deliriously as your thighs start to lock around him. You're spasming for him again, your voice breaking as you call out his name and your hips buck up towards him. "Dazai, I can't -" You whine. "'m so... sensitive -" "C'mon baby, please." he groans, "Just one more f’me." his tongue swirls against you with fervor, his digits still greedily plummeting into you. "Lemme taste it, lemme feel it. You’re sooo close." His fingers curl at just the right angle, his tongue faithfully lapping against you as you finally fall apart for him. He moans at the sweetness that spills down his chin. "You taste like fucking ecstasy, you know that?"

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It's not necessarily a secret because in his defense, if you were to bring it up or ask him about it, he'd tell you the truth. But Dazai can't help it that you've never inquired about his exes and he's certainly not going to offer up the fact that he knows every single person you've ever been with going all the way back to the boy you kissed on the playground when you were 4 years old. Or that he just so happens to know all of their current addresses and their moms’ maiden names and where they work and their social security numbers. I mean, does it even really matter anyway?? He just got a little curious, that’s all!!

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Dazai had been with his fair share of partners before meeting you. Sex wasn't something he was ever shy about. He did a lot of experimenting, especially when he was spending the majority of his time drinking. He's always felt comfortable in his body and never saw the big deal about sharing it with someone. It wasn't until the two of you started dating that he realized just how binding sex could be. That it could transcend well beyond the simplicity of skin against skin contact. Being inside of you was the closest thing he'd ever felt to a religious experience. It felt like coming home after a long day. No matter how many hookups he'd had in the past, there was nothing that could've prepared him for how good you'd feel.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes any position that allows him to see your face. His favorite is probably fucking you from the side though, both of you facing each other with his arm hooked under your thigh, letting him go as deep as he pleases. He gets lost in the way your pupils dilate when he plunges into you. The security of your arms wrapped around his neck as you whimper and wriggle against him. There's something so intimate about watching you come undone from this view. Feeling you drench him while he kisses you over and over. "Let it out, baby. I've got you. Doin' so good - fuck, baby you're doin' so good f'me."

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

As passionate as Dazai is when it comes to being inside of you, he's still able to find a level of a humor in just about anything. He's a Gemini, after all. If he's too serious for too long, he'll simply die. You're on top of him with your hands tangled into his for balance as you grind against him. Your hips are rocking back and forth at a pace that's making his breathing uneven. You feel proud, thinking his reaction is a sign of you doing a good job until you watch his head roll to the side, a stupid smile suddenly visible as he tries to bury his face into the pillow. You quickly realize it's not a moan that he's holding back, but a laugh. Your movements come to an abrupt pause. "Dazai." He tries his best to keep it together, but the scolding tone in your voice coupled with the stern look you're shooting him is only making it worse. “Wait, listen -" he tries to explain himself, but he's powerless to his own thoughts. A burst of suppressed laughter fills the room as he covers his face with his hands, still feeling the weight of your glare on him. "R - remember -" he struggles “Last week? When you were telling me about that book you were reading and...." he nearly snorts. "And you described it as -" Your lips press into a flat line, your eyes glazing over as you realize what he’s getting at. You knew the second you messed up that phrase, you'd never hear the end of it. "Are you seriously still laughing about the fact that I said 'blood-chilling' instead of 'bone-chilling?'" "BLOOD-CHILLING!" He repeats with the most obnoxious cackle, narrowly dodging the pillow you throw at him.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Dazai spends more time grooming himself than you do. Hours in front of the mirror looking at himself from every angle to make sure what he's done is up to his standards. He's subscribed to one of those manscaping services where they mail him out a surprise bundle each month of new products to try. When you go down on him one night, he asks "...Does it smell like teakwood?" Your head pops up immediately, unsure if you even want to know what he's hinting at. "What?" "Nothing... it's nothing."

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

In love, Dazai worships you. He has every inch of your frame memorized and knows exactly what each tiny movement and whimper mean. He's studied your body like it's his lifelong passion and he's learned how to make it respond so well for him. Your hips just barely buck up while he's on top of you and he smirks, his hair lightly brushing against your forehead. "You sure can handle the whole thing? Figured you'd still be sore after last night." You shake your head back at him with the poutiest expression, your core aching for more. "I can take it." you insist, "I can -" He challenges your sureness, giving you another inch only to see your eyes roll into the back of your head. Your hand gripping onto the sheet above you. He'd never deny you of anything you wanted, but especially not when you looked this gorgeous. He grabs your hand, tangling his fingers into yours before drawing back and burying himself into you. "That's my girl." he groans, reeling in the way your walls so eagerly swallow him. Your breathing is erratic, your composure completely gone as you writhe and clench around him. He knows you're right there. You start to close your eyes, but he stops you, bringing his free hand under your chin to redirect your attention back to him. "Let me see it, angel. Show me." He slams into you again, giving you every inch of him this time. "Show much you love this." And you do. You show him three times in 20 minutes how much you love it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Dazai's the first to admit that he has a high libido and if the mood strikes, he's going to do something about it. He gets bored easily, so he has a variety of different mediums to get the job done - the 'hidden' folder on his phone that's filled with pictures and videos of you, romance mangas, fleshlights, audio porn, hentai. He's not afraid to experiment even when he's alone.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dazai is a true switch and will really fall into either being dominant or submissive depending on the situation. There are nights he gets off work and starts throwing out demands like, "On the bed. Now. Legs apart f’me." as he strips out of his jacket and pushes you down further onto the mattress. But, the are other times where he's dying not to be in control anymore. Where he's had to make too many decisions and he revels in the way you take the reins. The way you climb on top of him and whisper "good boy" as he grows hard beneath you. The only thing he loves more than making you beg is begging for you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Dazai has a bit of a thing for voyeurism and recklessness so when Kunikida hires a driver to pick the two of you up to take you to a dinner for the ADA, Dazai has no hesitation on hiking up your dress in the back of the limo. Peeking up every so often to see if the driver has even noticed the way your tits are pressed up against the window for passing cars to see as your vehicle speeds down the highway. You arch your back perfectly for him, giving him full control as he plunges into you. Your walls are so snug and gushy, he knows he won't last long. But you're enjoying this just as much as he is, playing with your clit as he grabs your hair and pulls you up to kiss him. "You like knowing that people can see me fucking you?" he whispers, biting down on your bottom lip. "Your cunt’s drippin’ alllll over me.” "Fuck - yes.” You moan, feeling your legs beginning to shake as you let out a strained. “I’d let you fuck me anywhere.” His smirk deepens, his thrusts becoming more frantic. "Don’t make promises you can’t keep, angel.”

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Dazai's pretty easy to wind up in general, but he definitely has a thing for asphyxiation. Perhaps it stems from the lingering effects of suicidal ideation, but the feeling of something cutting off his airways makes him feral. When you're on top of him and you reach for his throat, he nearly fucking melts. If he could choose any way to die, he'd request for it to be at the mercy of your loving fingertips digging into the side of his neck.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

There aren't many things that Dazai wouldn't do. Not just sexually, but in general. His curiosity almost always gets the better of him no matter the situation. The only time he's ever told you no was when you were being too hard on yourself. He walked in on you picking at your body in the mirror. Pulling your skin in different directions to see what you'd look like if your arms were thinner or what you'd look like if your nose leaned more to this way instead of that way. His heart sank. All of the post-work fantasies he had built up over the day disappeared the minute he saw how frustrated you were. "Hey," he whispered, coming up behind you and gently wrapping his arms around your waist as his chin rested on your shoulder. "Please stop being mean to my girlfriend. She doesn't deserve that." You tried to brush it off as a joke, leaning up to kiss him while he held you, but he pulled back. "I'm serious." he ran light fingers over your stomach, his eyes locked with yours in the reflection of the mirror. "We're not doing anything until I hear you say at least five things you like about yourself." He could see past almost any crime or murder, but he drew the line at you degrading yourself.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Dazai's all about both, but if he's being completely honest with himself, he loves the feeling of your mouth around his cock. How cute you look when you struggle to take the whole thing. The way your eyes widen when he thrusts into your throat. How thorough you are, turning the act of going down on him into a work of fucking art. Even though you’re the one submitting to him when you get on your knees, he still feels like he's at your grace. You feel so good, he'd do anything to keep your lips wrapped around him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Just like anything else, pacing could go one way or the other. The thing about Dazai, is he wants to do whatever you want to do. Even when he's in more of a dom role, your pleasure is still his main focus. There's no such thing as wrong time or wrong place as far as he’s concerned. If you wanted him to fuck you slow and sensually in the club bathroom, he would. He'd dim the lights, lock the door, lay his jacket down for you to sit on as he propped you up onto the sink and kissed you passionately. If you wanted fast, rough, filthy sex by candlelight on a bed of roses, he would. He'd wrap his hand around your pretty little throat, mocking the way you're struggling to breathe as he bullied himself into you while you’re surrounded by romantic ambiance. Whatever you want, he does too.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If there was a tornado approaching your house at a reasonable speed, Dazai would still find time to have a quickie with you. Especially if he thought it was the last thing he might ever do. He wants to feel you as much as he possibly can. The construct of time really means nothing to him. You have to log onto a work meeting in five minutes? "I can fit under the desk, baby :((( they won't even see me. Just spread your legs and keep a straight face, okay?" Your parents are on their way over? "They drive so slow anyway, angel and the door's locked. Promise we won't get caught." You're waiting for food to be delivered? "Bet I could make you cum twice before the doorbell even rings." Getting to spend five minutes in you is always better than spending five minutes out of you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Dazai isn't just willing to take a risk, he's usually the one pushing for it. Any time your phone rings, his hands are suddenly roaming along your body, his fingers dipping into the softness of your underwear as he starts to kiss your neck. He knows you're on the phone with your boss, that makes it even better. He wants to see how long you can keep your composure while he torments you. Your eyes are like daggers when you look back at him, but your cunt betrays you entirely, grinding against him needily while he smirks. He picks up the pace, reeling in the subtle way your thighs shake. You're trying so hard to sound so professional and coherent, but your thoughts are everywhere. You're having to hit the 'mute' button every few seconds just to let out a whimper. Dazai nips at the nape of your neck, slamming into you with an extra finger this time causing you to nearly drop your phone. "Ahh ~!" But there's no time to hit mute with how he's suddenly plunging into you. Your boss asks if you're okay and you have no choice but to hang up. "Dazai -" you try to keep your voice firm, but you can barely see straight the deeper he sinks into you. "What - the... fuck -" Each word is a moan, your hand grabbing desperately onto the collar of his shirt. "Dazai," "Somethin' wrong, baby?" "Dazai, you can't -" But he already is. He already is so bad. "Dazai, please." You're not even sure what you're pleading for anymore - if it's for him to stop or continue. Your walls are squeezing him so tight, your heart slamming into your chest as more uncontrollable whines fill the room. "Dazaaiii ~" you whimper again, soaking his hand as his thumb brushes across your clit. "Ohmygod, fuck. You can't keep doing that." "No promises." He smirks, carefully pulling out of you before bringing his fingers to his mouth. "It's not my fault you taste so good."

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It all depends on the mood, Dazai's pretty versatile. Could he fuck you for hours? Yes. Has he? Many times. It's no secret that he loves watching you struggle to walk the next day after having your legs pinned against his shoulder. But he knows he can't do that every time. He generally tries to follow your lead and give your body what it wants - whether that's 20 minutes of gentle, deep, intimacy or an hour of a mating press followed by overstimulation. As long as you're getting off, so is he.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

His nightstand is filled with an assortment of silicone stimulants for the two of you. Cockrings and vibrators and bondage kits. Out of all of the subscription services he has, getting a bundle of mystery toys delivered to his house each month is by far his favorite. He always waits 'til you come over to open it. Pouring you both a glass of wine as you divvy them out and argue about decide on who gets to use what on who.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Osamu Dazai lives to tease you. As far as he's concerned, the only reason the sun rises each morning is so that he can find new and exciting ways to make you grovel for him. He'll tie your hands together above your head, slowly unzipping his pants in front of you. Forcing you to watch as he strokes himself above you, groaning out lewd little nothings like, "Oh fuck, 'feels soo good." while he smirks at your pouty little face and the way you begin to squirm underneath him impatiently. “See how hard I am? God, just imagine what it'd feel like inside you." His hand pumping uppp and doownnnn tortuously out of reach. "Tell me baby, would you want me to go hard and fast or reeaall slow and deep?" He fucking moans while you writhe helplessly against the mattress, your neglected cunt throbbing. "Dazai, please." "Poor thing." He mocks, still jerking himself to the sight of you looking up at him with pleading eyes. "You can do better than that though, can’t you angel? C'mon, make me believe you.”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

There's no denying that Dazai's loud. You make him feel so fucking good and he wants you to know. He'll have a fistful of your hair, groaning out your name while your tongue swirls around his tip. "Fuuuck.” He whimpers. "Oh - my… god." Tiny hearts cloud his vision as he watches your throat fill with his length, the heavenly sounds of you gagging on him echoing across the room. Your eyes gloss over, spit pooling down your chin when you look back up at him, your tongue still pressed firmly against his base. "S'fucking gorgeous when you suck my cock." His praise only make you go faster, drawing out the prettiest whines from him. "Nnngh ~ don't stop, baby.” His grip tightens in your hair. "Don't. Fucking. Stop." His hips buck up with each syllable, his rhythm unrelenting as lecherous tears begin to spill down your cheeks. You keep going though, drowning in the noises he's making for you. "Right there, right there. 'm gonna - oh fuck. 'm -" You feel him twitch inside your mouth before a flood of warmth suddenly coats your throat. "Swallow f'me, angel." his voice is so heady and delirious, it comes out as more of a beg than a command, "Fuck... Yeah. Just like that, mmm, god, just like that." You take it all in, not letting one drop go to waste. "You're sucha good girl, you know that? Sucha good fucking girl."

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Dazai gives the illusion that he's not jealous. That it doesn't bother him in the slightest when you go out with your friends or when you stay at the gym longer than you said you would. He does trust you - completely, actually. He knows you'd never do anything to jeopardize your relationship with him. It’s the outside world he doesn't trust. When you're driving home from work, he's watching you through the location sharing on your phone. He stares at the screen intently until he hears you pull into the driveway. When you’re at the bar, he knows the importance of girls’ time and he’d never spoil that. He simply wants to make sure no one is bothering you. He shows up, stealthily lingering in the background, watching his pretty girl laugh with her friends and dance with a drink in her hand the way she should. He loves seeing you have fun, he doesn’t want to take that away from you. He just follows behind your Uber to make sure the driver gets you to where you're going safely. He's seen too many tragedies between working for the PM and ADA, he can't take the risk of letting anything happen to you. So, he doesn't. There's absolutely nothing off limits to you. The entire world is yours. You just... might see a man in a suspicious looking jacket that bears an eerie resemblance to your boyfriend trailing behind you from time to time while you're out. It's only because he loves you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Standing at a solid 5'11, Dazai's decently tall and slender - surprisingly muscular underneath all of those bandages. His waistline is so pretty and his hands? God, those long beautiful digits have brought you to your breaking point more than a few times. Besides excelling in dexterity, he's also packing. A perfect blend of length and girth that curves ever-so-slightly as if it was made for the sole purpose of hitting your g-spot.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Dazai would bend you over in in front of the Pope if you'd let him. He's unapologetically ready to go at any time. He can't help that you're just so gorgeous and that his eyes are always glued to the way your hips sway when you walk in front of him. He yearns for you constantly, even when you're not around. If he could have a 10-hour loop of you moaning his name that's what he'd use as white noise to fall asleep to each night. He can't help that his dick twitches at the thought of you. It's not his fault you're so pretty :((((

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Rest has never come easy for Dazai. He's tried every natural (and narcotic) sleep aide he could get his hands on. Put down multiple bottles of Pinot Grigio and still found himself up for days on end. Up until he met you, he didn't think it was possible for him to sleep for more than two hours at a time, but the first time you invited him over to your apartment changed everything. The two of you had been talking for hours - laughing and debating and sharing secrets over a bottle of cherry whiskey. He could've stayed up long past sunrise with you but when he noticed how tired your eyes were getting, he offered to take you to bed instead. Both of you stripped down into lazy pajamas. You, in an oversized t-shirt with nothing underneath. Dazai, in his boxers. You looked so peaceful when your head hit the pillow, he was sure that you'd be out soon, but to his surprise, your body had other plans. Your lips were soft against his, your hands gently roamed along his body as you pulled him on top of you. You smiled at the way his hair tickled your forehead. The sun was just barely creeping through your curtains, grazing your face as he slid into you, highlighting the pleasure that had taken over your features. It was all so hazy and comfortable. Your room filled with heady mid-morning noises while his body thrusted generously into yours. There was something so intimate about it that it nearly brought you to tears. You felt full in every sense of the word. When you were both good and spent, the two of you laid in the middle of your bed with your head nestled into his chest. He played with your hair, watching you fall asleep in his arms. He'd never felt more human than he did in that moment. His eyes closed, his mind turning off for what felt like the first time in years as he drifted off with you.

ㅤ ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ

‎♡‧₊˚ here's chuuya's version if you're new here ‎♡‧₊˚

[underestimated-heroine]

The fact that radfems spread this post around is actually really interesting--infuriating, but interesting. Because what they've really done here is tell on themselves.

This is the shrimp guy story:

From an anonymous green text called "shrimp saved my life" [emphasis mine]:

>be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew >We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

He did address his relationship with women. By finding a hobby and passion and working on himself--"touching grass"--he stepped away from the echo chamber that filled him with all this rage and convinced him women were to blame for all of his problems. As someone once wisely observed, "the cure is going offline and realizing it's just. really not that big a deal."

And that is what radfems have not done, so of course they didn't spot the quiet flashpoint of shrimp guy's personal development within his story.

Edit: it's been brought to my attention that the version of the greentext post I lifted the text from was censored by someone else. My bad for not realizing that, tbh it was done so well I thought shrimp guy had done it himself, but that's an important part of the post. I've gone back through and un-censored it. The reply which was spread around with the original post addressed the words themselves well, I think; however distasteful and fucked up the incel rabbit hole is, it doesn't diminish his growth.

[just-cofffee]

The annoyance was evident through that peaceful and dull face that always seemed to have, alluding to how tedious the conversation they were having seemed.

"Just tell her," Suguru repeated for the fourteenth time.

A disheartened sigh escaped Satoru's lips. "You don't understand, it's not that easy."

"Why?" Suguru's voice already had a hint of frustration.

"You still ask why? Do you think I can go there and say, 'Hey Y/n, what I want to say is that I've never seen you simply as a friend. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were the only thing I wanted in my life. Your beauty has captivated my eyes and made me ignore all other women. The softness of your skin is my deepest longing, and the light in your eyes and the grace with which you move completely envelop me. My life has taken on an absolute meaning from the moment your presence blessed my eyes. For me, your mere existence is like a balm that calms my soul and ignites a fire in my heart. Every time I see your sweet smile and receive your attention, I feel like the whole world fades away and only you and I exist. It infuriates me to the core when some idiot approaches you, because I know none of them are worthy of your brilliant sense of humor, your infinite kindness, and your captivating charisma. Although I feel selfish desiring that only I can be the one you give your love and attention to, I can't help it, because you are the most valuable and precious thing in my life. I don't know if I'm worthy of you, but I'm willing to fight and show you every day that I'm capable of loving you with an unwavering passion. These words are just a desperate attempt to describe the magnitude of what I feel for you, but I know in the deepest part of my being that my love for you transcends words and is eternal.'". His chest rose and fell rapidly as if he hadn't breathed while talking about Y/n.

"Satoru…," Suguru murmured with a slightly mocking tone.

"She doesn't like me, she's going to tell me she likes Nanami. She's always been very close to him, and one day Shoko told me that Y/n had a crush on him and-"

In the midst of his despair, Suguru interrupted with a mocking tone, mentioning Satoru's name. This made Satoru stop and look at him confusedly. Suguru nodded behind Satoru with his chin, and at that moment, Satoru paled even more. A feeling of frost traveled down his back and settled in his stomach, causing a deep discomfort. She had heard everything.

"You also like me, Toru."

[inconspicious-random-thoughts]

Edit a bit because I forgot a small part.

So I have a small minor theory. Most is already fan based. So look at his picture. Vox looked near mortified at the reveal. To me, it appears more of embarrassment of past actions of admitting feelings to someone who didn't return them suddenly revealed to a new audience in modern day.

Some fans already believed Vox has a strong one sided crush on Alastor which partly fuel his rivery.

Vox died a few decades after Alastor, Alastor was probably very well established in Hell when Vox landed. Both being media themed demons, Vox more then likely became inspired by Alastor and was his biggest fan, also crushing on him. Vox wanted to make himself worthy to catch Alastor eyes and so, he pursued and ascended to become an overlord.

Eventually he did, they were not exactly on equal ground, but close enough. They both appear at the Overlord meetings. May have some brief interactions. Alastor probably still jabbed at Vox early on, simply because Alastor dislike modern technology. The jabbing not necessarily vicious but still making fun of Vox, nonetheless, but Vox took it in stride and probably retorted his own witty comebacks. Which I assume Alastor appreciates because its entertaining even if its mildly so. But it made the meetings not a complete bore. Vox thrilled because Alastor did notice him and seem to enjoy (entertained) by his company, even causing the Radio demon to laugh.

Finally, Vox took the courage and asked Alastor out. Asexual Alastor misinterpreted it as a business proposition. Romantic interpretations are not his first impressions in thought when presented. The answer would still be no but probably with A LOT less mocking. Alastor seem to just simply say no when relations is presented to him. For example, Angel Dust making comments and Alastor does a quick laugh and say no. Nothing more. I imagine he answers similar to nearly every encounter of this type. He a gentleman after all, he not going to ridicule someone for having feelings for Alastor that Alastor is not interested in returning.

So when Vox, most likely after an Overlord meeting, asked Alastor out. (We should get together and...) Alastor mocked Vox hard to the point of ridicule. Why would lone wolf radio demon want to team up with a sub par media demon? I assumed Vox already partner with Valentino at this point (he ask me to join his team, imply Vox already had a team at this point. Velvette may not been around at the time, she is the youngest). I think Alastor would hate Valentino and everything he stands for. Even if Alastor was interested in more power which he isn't, he doesn't care about being an overlord-he just want to be entertained, he would HATE working and being in the same proximity of Valentino. Alastor was probably a little merciless on his decline.

Of course, Alastor said it in a way that Vox interpate that it still personal level not a business one. This whole conversation was missinuperted by both of them. Vox was beyond humiliated. Truly starting a rivery to prove Alastor he is better. That Alastor is wrong, Vox media is superior, that Vox himself is superior and trying to turn the tables as he recover from his embarrassment. What worse, despite it all, Vox still craves Alastor attention, to be respected and perhaps thought of fondly. Which infuriates Vox more that he simply can't hate him like he wants to but still admires Alastor.

Side bit, I think Vox and Valentino do have a small thing going. (He also seemed a bit excited thinking Angel quit, and annoyed to see him around). Both of them enjoy each other company but their hearts not in it. (I also think Vox is also a bit of a victim to Valentino poison", that would be super interesting!) But I think a small part of Vox holds a secret grudge against Valentino. He thinks Valentino is part of the problem why Alastor rejected him. Because Alastor during his ridicule decline of his invitation mention Vox was with Valentino and Alastor wanted no part of that. Alastor strolled off, leaving a stammering speechless Vox, to taken aback to clarify Valentino was just a business partner. I only mention this because, Vox seem to have a comfortable relationship with Valentino. They have a bit of history (hinted by the photo of the two together and Vox having a crt tv head) to gain enough trust, know each other to know what makes them tick and desires. But Vox also seem put off and near reluctant to have to calm down his "boy toy" (as Velvette put it). Tolerating enough to remain levelhead, but clearly tired of Valentino tantum shit.

[bosbas]

Chapter 6: in a world of boys he's a gentleman

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 4.2k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, Eloise being the best, Colin finally having brain cell(s), but then very quickly losing aforementioned brain cells

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

May 30, 1816 – One week has passed since the unfortunate revelation of Lord Barlow’s true nature, and Lady Y/N Montclair has yet to make an appearance at a ball. Could it be that the Duke’s betrayal has left her too disillusioned? Perhaps the eligible gentlemen of London have failed to meet her exacting standards. One can't help but wonder if Lady Y/N be present at tonight’s ball, where the ton's most eligible bachelors will undoubtedly be vying for her attention now that she is decidedly searching for a new suitor. Who among them shall be lucky enough to capture her attention? This author does not know, but hopefully, this evening reveals more of Lady Montclair’s intentions.

Colin was grinding his teeth, his right eye twitching slightly as he glared at Eloise, with whom he had been arguing for the better part of the last hour. 

“It’s not like I haven’t tried to be agreeable! She’s just impossible,” he ground out.

Colin was about finished with having to face criticism from his sister when you were the one who had ignored his attempt at a truce.

“It certainly doesn’t help that you rile her up every single time you see her. She’s trying to find a husband, mind you!” Eloise shouted back. 

She had grown quite close to you in the past weeks, and she knew the kind of pressure you were under tonight. It was your first ball after finding out the Duke had sneaked away from the Bridgerton ball with Miss Barrington, and your full focus would be on finding a new suitor. Eloise generally preferred to stay out of your neverending conflict with Colin, but she knew he would never understand what you were going through. The very least she could do was ensure that he acted decently toward you, though it seemed like even that would prove a challenge. 

“Exactly! I was the one who wanted to warn her about Lord Barlow’s betrayal, and now she thinks I’m the one who gave him access to our courtyard,” snapped Colin. 

He couldn’t believe Eloise. How could she not see that you were one of the most infuriating, unpleasant, and insolent people in the ton? Why was she so intent on defending you? Colin was irritated beyond belief, and he wanted nothing more than to never speak with you again after the horse races. You had promptly ignored him after accusing him of orchestrating Lord Barlow and Miss Barrington’s escapade, and he spent the rest of the afternoon angrily stealing glances at you as you chatted pleasantly with his sister. 

And to learn that you still wanted to find a husband? You could become a spinster, for all he cared. And he didn’t. He didn’t care. About you or about Lord Barlow, or frankly, about anything that had transpired since the Bridgerton ball. All he knew was that tonight, he would be forced to watch you bat your eyelashes and giggle softly as you talked to countless men when all he got from you were angry stares and sarcastic laughs. 

“She’s the one who doesn’t want to be on good terms with me,” he added stubbornly, crossing his arms. 

Eloise let out an exasperated groan and rolled her eyes. “Colin! Can you not find it in yourself to set aside your dislike for her and understand that she is an unmarried lady who just lost a titled man she was practically guaranteed to marry? She is in a precarious situation, not to mention feeling heartbroken and betrayed.”

In truth, Colin thought, he didn’t understand. He couldn’t even begin to. He had never faced that kind of pressure before, certainly not about something as trivial as marriage, and suddenly he felt guilty for wanting to spend the entire evening tormenting you so he could avoid watching you amass suitors. 

Sensing that her words had struck a nerve, Eloise took advantage of her brother’s waning resolve. “You are Colin Bridgerton, Mayfair’s sweetheart! I don’t understand why you can’t act that way with her.”

“She doesn’t want that! She doesn’t want me!” Colin yelled, pinching the bridge of his nose as he screwed his eyes shut in frustration. 

But Eloise didn’t let up. “I’ll wager she wants that tonight. You don’t need to kiss the ground she walks on. Just be civil and refrain from any ungentlemanly conduct. It’s her first ball since the Lord Barlow scandal, and she doesn’t need to look bad in front of a crowd of eligible bachelors.”

“I don’t ever do it on purpose!” he defended. 

“You could’ve fooled me,” scoffed Eloise. Then, softening her tone, she added, “Just tonight. Please.”

“Fine,” he relented. 

If it was so important to Eloise, he would do it. He supposed he would want someone to do that to Eloise if she was ever in your same position. But he was already dreading the night. He had never particularly enjoyed balls, and he knew tonight would be especially dreadful. Usually, your arguments provided prime entertainment, and if he wasn’t allowed to fight with you tonight, he would just have to endure the monotony of the ballroom without any respite. 

---

You drew in a sharp breath as you entered the ballroom, looking around at the crowd nervously. Charlotte placed a comforting hand on your shoulder and led you toward the back of the room. Had she chosen to go to the furthest place from the entrance simply to torture you? You were nervous enough as it was; you didn’t need the added anxiety of having everyone’s eyes on you as you walked through the crowd. 

You had opted for an elegant white gown tonight. Well, your mother had suggested it and you had inevitably agreed to wear it. 

“It’s meant to look like a wedding dress!” she had exclaimed earlier. “It shows you’re still in the marriage mart despite everything that’s happened, and you’ll have gentlemen queuing up to dance with you.”

Whatever the reasoning behind the gown, you had to admit that it was beautiful. It accentuated your figure, and you could already feel plenty of keen eyes on you and more than a few furtive whispers. Though you couldn’t make out exactly what people were saying, you were sure you heard your name mentioned several times. However, you smiled gracefully at everyone anyway, wanting to avoid being seen as a complete laughingstock after losing Arthur. The Duke, you corrected yourself. He was no longer Arthur to you.

“Y/N,” you heard Eloise’s excited voice beside you.

You turned to see her smiling face and squeezed Charlotte’s hand to let her know she could go on without you. 

“Hello, El,” you greeted, smiling wide. 

“The balls have been torture without you! I’m so glad you’re finally here,” she gushed, taking your hand and leading you to a less crowded part of the ballroom. 

You relaxed slightly. At least one person here didn’t hate you. But perhaps she was the only one. As you kept speaking with Eloise, you realized that not a single bachelor had come to ask you for a dance. Usually, you had to reject quite a few gentlemen within the first few minutes of being at a ball, but your dance card remained empty tonight. 

Swallowing nervously, you looked around the room and assessed the gravity of your situation. Plenty of people were staring at you, but no one had moved toward you. Were they waiting for someone else to walk up to you? Did they not want to be the first to dance with you? Or did this mean that Lord Barlow’s actions had well and truly ruined you? Feeling the familiar beginnings of tears forming in your eyes, you quickly started to panic. What would your parents say? 

You were trying to focus on Eloise’s words, but all you could hear was your rapid heartbeat, and you were surprised people around you couldn’t hear it, too. Your stomach flipped uncomfortably as you realized that you might have truly fallen out of favor with the ton. The thought made you feel sick. This wasn’t how you wanted the season to go. How you needed it to go. 

Just as you were ready to bolt outside in search of fresh air, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Your stomach clenched, and for a fleeting moment, you hoped it was Colin Bridgerton. As much as you weren’t looking forward to the inevitable antagonism you would face from him, and as much as you knew that he wasn’t interested in anything from you other than an argument, the thought of engaging with someone of the opposite gender provided a fleeting sense of relief. Anything to momentarily divert your thoughts from the Duke's betrayal and the disheartening realization of your diminished standing in society. Although knowing Colin, he would probably bring up the subject just to spite you. 

However, as you turned around, you came face to face with your brother. A tiny rush of disappointment coursed through you, and you crinkled your face in confusion. It was a disconcerting realization, indeed, to find yourself yearning for the company of Colin Bridgerton, the very individual you despised most in the ton.

Leaning down close to you, Louis asked lowly, “Ça va?” (Are you alright?).

“Louis,” you rolled your eyes and nodded, trying to convince him­–and yourself–that you were fine. “Ça va” (I’m alright). 

“Excuse me just a moment,” spoke Eloise as she looked between you and your brother. She squeezed your hand and turned around, leaving you with Louis.

You cringed, internally hearing your parents scolding you for speaking French around her. But Louis, unphased by Eloise’s exit, spoke again. “Non, j’suis serieux. On peut y aller,” he insisted (No, I’m serious. We can leave). 

It was nice of him to check up on you. But it only left you feeling worse, a sobering reminder that your situation was dire enough that your brother was actually being sweet to you.

As much as you would have liked to, you knew you couldn’t leave the ball. It would only make it worse to flee now. Your parents had already allowed you a weeklong break from social events, and they would be most displeased to find out that you were giving up so soon after your re-entry into society.

So, you steeled yourself, forcing yourself to keep your tone light. “Leave the ball? For me or for you?” you asked Louis, poking him teasingly.

He relaxed upon hearing your light tone, letting out a breath as he smiled down at you. Your parents had asked him to be especially careful with you tonight, and he was left with sickening worry. You were his little sister, and as much as you had your differences, he still thought himself in charge, at least partially, of your wellbeing. 

The worst part was that he knew exactly the kind of man Andrew Barlow was, and he was beside himself with guilt that he had even let the man near you. But you seemed to be getting through it, he noted, relieved. 

Colin was rooted to the spot across the ballroom, staring at you as you engaged in easy conversation with your brother. How you could be so disagreeable toward him, and completely pleasant with everyone else was absolutely beyond him. 

But what really caught his attention tonight was your attire. You were wearing a white gown, and he briefly wondered if that was what your wedding dress would have looked like. He couldn’t help it; you looked positively stunning, and he was angry because he knew if he even attempted to talk to you, you would most likely bite his head off. 

Colin jumped as he felt a tap on his shoulder, slightly embarrassed at having been discovered staring at you. He turned around to face his mother and Eloise smiling far too innocently for his liking.

“Colin, go dance with Y/N, please.”

“Can’t Benedict do it?” Colin pleaded. He would do anything not to have to speak with you right this moment. It was far better to look at you from a distance, where he could pretend you didn’t completely despise him. 

“He’s dancing with Penelope Featherington at the moment, so no. Colin, it’s one dance!” Violet responded, exasperated.

“It’s not like she won’t have anyone else asking her,” grumbled Colin unhappily. Though, come to think of it, he hadn’t actually seen anyone ask you for a dance tonight. 

“Colin,” Eloise pleaded. “If they see you dancing with her, they’ll be more inclined to speak with her.”

Remembering his conversation with his sister from earlier, Colin accepted defeat, mumbling a low “just this once.”

He found himself growing increasingly nervous as he made his way over to you, and he clenched his fists to keep his hands from shaking. What had gotten into him? This was merely a dance like any other. He’d done it many times before, and he could do it with you. 

He cleared his throat as he reached your side, drawing you out of your conversation with Louis. 

“Not you, too,” you sighed upon seeing him. “I’ve had enough of a difficult time today without your input.”

Colin was momentarily unable to speak, though he quickly recovered. At this point, he didn’t know why kept being so surprised that you thought so lowly of him. 

He was not like the rest of the cruel members of the ton, he thought defiantly. And he would show you just how unlike them he was. This was the real Colin Bridgerton, not the insecure, combative version of him that seemed to slip out whenever you were near.

“A dance, Lady Montclair. I came to ask for a dance,” he said patiently, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t act like you’ve got a full dance card,” he rolled his eyes. Alright, maybe he couldn’t completely shake his hostile demeanor.

"Mr. Bridgerton, that is-” 

“Please.” 

“Why?” came your indignant response. 

“We can say we’re both doing it for Eloise if that will make you feel better,” he said, eyebrows raised. 

Unsure, you turned to look at Louis beside you, who gave you an unimpressed look and gently nudged you in Colin’s direction. 

“Fine,” you huffed.

He let out a breath and reached for your dance card. “Thank you.”

Suddenly, Colin became hyperaware of his surroundings. Every sensation was heightened, and it was almost too much for him to hold your hand as he led you toward the dance floor. He had never had this much physical contact with you, bar the times you had not-so-accidentally stepped on his foot, and he was struggling to maintain his composure.

Your hand felt so delicate in his, and he was actively resisting the urge to interlock your fingers with his. Where had that come from? Why was it that he could never get a grip when he was around you?

Colin was forced back to the present moment as you reached the dance floor, and he carefully set one hand on your waist and used the other to hold your hand, getting into position before the music started playing. 

His stomach was in about a thousand knots, and he awkwardly shifted his hand placement, unsure about whether he was making too much physical contact with you. With the way you looked tonight, Colin would have been happy to keep his hands on you all night, but he was sure you did not share the sentiment, and the last thing he wanted was to inadvertently make you uncomfortable. If he was going to make you upset, he would much rather have done it on purpose and off the dance floor. But that’s not what Eloise has asked of him, so he settled for gingerly holding your waist, his fingers carefully touching the smooth fabric of your dress.

Much to his chagrin, Colin stumbled slightly as the music started in an attempt to begin dancing with you. This was not at all how the most charming member of the ton was supposed to act, he scolded himself, cringing. Perhaps it was a good thing you had never agreed to dance with him before this, and that he never got the chance to properly pursue you as a suitor. If merely a turn about the dance floor with you had him feeling so out of sorts, he couldn’t even imagine what kissing you must have felt like. 

Except now he was imagining what kissing you would feel like. His gaze suddenly fixated on your lips, and he wondered why he had never noticed how inviting they looked. It would be so easy to simply lean down, ever so slightly, and touch his lips to yours. Perhaps it would cause a scandal, given that you were in the middle of a ball, but he rather thought it would be worth it. Just a few- 

“Keep your hands to yourself, Mr. Bridgerton” your sharp voice cut through his musings. 

Colin blinked, brought back to the present moment in an instant. It appeared that, in his rather improper daydream, his hold on your waist had tightened considerably. Irritation bubbled up inside of him as he softened his grip. It seemed that nothing had changed between the two of you, after all. His attempts at playing nice had been, as per usual, futile.

“I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the concept of dancing, Lady Montclair, but it necessitates at least some level of physical contact,” he snapped, glaring but still unable to look away from your lips. 

Unfortunately, his words were punctuated by another stumble as he fought to stay upright and keep moving to the music, and he had to hold onto you to avoid toppling over. 

“What is the matter with you?” you hissed. “Did you never learn how to dance?” 

Colin looked down at you, grimacing and expecting to find the furious glare on your face he so often received. But your eyes were elsewhere. They were skittishly looking around the room, and your mouth was settling into a deeper and deeper frown. 

He noticed you anxiously chewing on your lip, your hand slightly shaky in his, though you were doing well to hide it. He felt like an idiot. Of course you were uneasy. It was your first dance trying to find a new suitor, and he was making you look like a fool in the middle of the dance floor. Colin felt his own anxiety melt away, replaced by a strange protectiveness he wasn’t sure he was familiar with.

“Just look at me,” he whispered as he twirled you.

You were too anxious to do anything but follow his instructions, and your eyes shifted to him instantly. He looked concerned, and you wondered whether it was concern for you or because he had almost fallen face-first in the middle of the dance floor. Either way, you were grateful you had something to focus on that wasn’t the constant obvious stares you were getting from everyone around you.

But, as Colin twirled you once again, you made eye contact with a man you had danced with on a few occasions. Before you could smile politely, he turned away to whisper something to the person beside him, and your face fell. As you returned to face Colin, you couldn’t help but look over his shoulder to see who would be the next person to prove that you were ruined.

You felt a squeeze at your waist, and your eyes came back to Colin’s.

“They don’t matter. Pretend it’s just me and you,” he said softly, reeling you in effortlessly. “Well, perhaps your sister as well, just in case you attempt to murder me.”

You couldn’t help it, you let out a soft giggle and bit your lip to keep from bursting into laughter. And though you were still surrounded by people surely itching to see you stumble and fall, you felt the rest of the ballroom fading away. As long as you kept looking at Colin, and he kept looking at you, there was nothing that could distract you. 

“I haven’t been in England that long, but I’m fairly certain murder is illegal here,” you quipped, smiling warmly at Colin for what was probably the first time.

“I’m fairly certain it’s illegal in every place I’ve been to, but I’m not so sure that would stop you,” he said back, a positively rakish smile on his face. But you were far too distracted by his mention of his travels to notice.

“You’ve traveled? Eloise hasn’t mentioned much,” you said curiously. 

“I’ve mostly traveled by myself,” he explained, now completely composed, previous stress forgotten, and finding himself enjoying your company. “My family doesn’t have the same penchant for adventure as me, so I usually set off on my own.”

You hummed thoughtfully. This, you hadn’t expected. Now you knew that you and Colin shared a love for travel, and it was a very unpleasant feeling, indeed. You had spent so long trying to distance yourself from him, and it was slightly disconcerting to know that the two of you had something in common. Especially something so embedded in who you were.

“Where was the last place you went to?”

“Greece,” he answered, smiling down at you. “I came back just before the season started. My mother was quite upset with me when she saw my tan.”

You laughed, perfectly picturing Violet’s hand over her chest as she saw her son after spending weeks in the sun. “You’re mad! If I had your kind of freedom, I certainly would not have stayed in England for as long as you have. Why haven’t you left since?”

“I- I’m not sure,” Colin answered. Why had he stayed so long? Usually, he liked to travel during the summer months, but he had stayed put so far and had no upcoming travel plans. “I suppose I am enjoying the season this year.” Was he really, though?

But you had already moved on to your next question. “The language is quite challenging, no? Did you learn at all? How long were you in Greece?”

Colin could have kissed you then and there. His family rarely showed interest in his travels, seldom responding to his letters, and once back in the ton, no one else bothered to inquire about his time abroad. Thus, he found himself pleasantly surprised by your curiosity, even if it was you—of all people—who displayed it.

As your conversation unfolded, Colin realized he was thoroughly enjoying himself. The effortless banter, combined with the tingling sensation that coursed through him whenever your hand grazed his neck, made him feel as though he were soaring high above the ballroom floor.

What if you had said yes that night at the Danbury ball? What if you had accepted his invitation to dance? Would it have felt as remarkable, as natural as this moment? Or was the allure of having you in his arms heightened simply because you had already rejected him?

Colin supposed he might have fallen for you that very night at the Danbury ball, had the circumstances been different. He could have seen himself, in a fit of romantic fervor, asking for your hand in marriage mere days afterward. Perhaps, then, it was lucky that you seemed to have an instant disdain for him. It likely spared him from acting the fool. Though truth be told, he often found himself behaving quite foolishly in your presence regardless.

As the dance ended, Colin found himself yearning to continue speaking with you. He grabbed your hand in his, feeling much more composed this time, and led you away from the dance floor. But he barely had time to turn back around to face you and continue your conversation before a trio of suitors came up and asked you to dance. Before he knew it, you were being swept away once more, this time on the arm of someone else. 

Colin congratulated himself on a job well done as he made his way back to where Eloise stood, deftly declining a gentleman's offer to dance. It was a triumph, he thought, that Colin had gone more than five minutes without arguing with you, and you had even laughed at something he said! It felt far better than whatever hostile rapport the two of you usually had.

“Thank you,” Eloise smiled gratefully at her brother. “Now, was that so difficult?” she added in a teasing tone. 

“I will have you know that yes, it was,” answered Colin stubbornly, but he knew he was lying even before the words came out of his mouth. Gliding across the dance floor with you in his arms had felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Even now, as you twirled gracefully in the arms of another, Colin found himself not seething with jealousy as he might have expected, but rather in a state of awe. There was something enchanting about the sight of you, and he couldn't tear his gaze away.

Then, unexpectedly, your eyes met his over the shoulder of your current dance partner, and you bestowed upon him a heart-stopping smile, silently mouthing a 'thank you'. Colin had to feign a cough to cover up the giggle he had just let out. A giggle? From Colin Bridgerton, certified rake? What on Earth were you doing to him?

—

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[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Love is Stored in the Cat: A Nepeta Leijon Character Study

I guess these are a series now! I also have a request for Feferi in my inbox that I'll get around to eventually.

SO! Dear, sweet Nepeta.

Nepeta is the troll that is most against the existence of the hemocaste.

I believe the Ultimate Self speech was originally going to be from her, not Davepetasprite^2.

She's bad at shipping.

These all make her extremely impurrtant!!!

So furst of all, I'm going to start with the same disclaimer as my Eridan essay (go read that first!!! It sets up a lot of ideas that I'm expanding on here), which is that the things Hussie says are going to be lowered in value, because he likes to play coy about plot stuff. I'm also not counting anything but the actual text as canon, and even with in that text, I'm counting everything after GAME OVER as soft canon - a suggestion of what would have been, often truncated for time, often a deliberate middle finger to the shitty fandom.

Okay, so with that squared away!

Nepeta Says Fuck The Hemocaste

I'm not going to bother doing a deep dive on Nepeta's characterization, because fur the most part, I think the fandom more or less gets her right - she wears her heart (h33h33) on her sl33ve, after all! She's a very sweet little catgirl who loves roleplay and shipping, who is also a vicious hunter of wild beasts and lives in a cave. She's very nice and friendly, but has a tough streak and a spine.

She also says fuck the hemocaste, why does that even exist:

CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!

This is a radical stance not outright shared by any of the other trolls. Aradia calls highbloods "hateful sn0bs" that she and Tavros shouldn't have "ever had anything t0 d0 with", the highbloods are, of course, all casteist to varying degrees, and even Karkat seems fairly accepting of the class divide, at one point taunting Vriska that her rejection from the blue team is "ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY". Not to mention his long-held dream of becoming a threshecutioner.

Even Feferi, despite saying to Eridan that "W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!", is actually perfectly comfortable with the caste system's existence, comparing having to stop using her royal typing quirk to "peasant-IFICATING" herself - and let's not forget that a Beforus under her rule had its caste system 100% intact.

This means that Nepeta is the ONLY troll who has said, in no uncertain terms, that the caste system should not exist. It's stupid, it's bad, and it doesn't meowtter!

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

But she's never able to fully express this opinion, which brings us to:

A COMPLICKATED RELATIONSHIP WITH EQUIUS

Now, before I say anything, I must insist that I do believe these two work as good moirails. That does not, however, stop them from being 13, and therefore, being poor to each other the way 13-year-olds sometimes are. I don't think they should break up; I think they should re-examine certain dynamics, and I think they need some space to breathe apart from each other.

Equius has a lot of problems, which I won't get into overmuch here, because... that's a whole essay on its own (are you people seeing a trend yet). But with regards to Nepeta specifically, he's extremely controlling and protective, to the point where she's a little scared of him before the game begins:

AC: :33 < well it does sound like it will be a lot of fun but i think i should get purrmission first GC: BL4R!!!!! GC: TH4TS SO STUP1D GC: H3S NOT TH3 BOSS OF YOU AC: :33 < i know! AC: :33 < but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything

She's also afraid to tell him about her crush on Karkat, since she knows he doesn't like Karkat:

AC: :33 < well AC: :33 < i have never told anybody this not even my moirail AC: :33 < heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve X33 AC: :33 < but yes i have liked somebody for quite some time, but alas he doesnt know it

By the time they end their game, she's gotten over this fear, seeing as she spends many hours curled up with Equius in a pile of robotics parts, but it still must be noted that they have some issues in their relationship that were never resolved, primarily on Equius's end. What this means for Nepeta, however, is that in addition to setting her up as the most outright anti-classism troll, the comic sets her up to be socially isolated due to her moirail's paranoia about letting her associate with both lowbloods (seeing them as bad influences) OR other highbloods, seeing them as dangerous.

He's not entirely wrong - his refusal to allow her to participate in FLARP kept her from winding up entangled in the horrible chain of revenge, as Tavros alludes:

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU, AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps

But he's still wrong. And it's probably an uncontrolled manifestation of his Heir of Void abilities - he's both consciously and unconsciously hiding her from other people.

This isn't to say she doesn't stand up for herself! Many of her discussions with Equius are pseudo-arguments, and she does get her way often enough, managing to get him to roleplay with her, and managing to get him back in the roboti% pile to talk about his feelings about Aradia. She also talks to the humans explicitly against Equius's orders, although she's keeping it a sneakret from him:

NEPETA: :33 < but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

But the fact that she has to tiptoe around him like this speaks to them having issues in their relationship that go unexamined and unresolved, especially since it's clear that Nepeta really would like to be friends with more people, were Equius not getting in her way. So, even though I do think they are good moirails for each other - they clearly genuinely, deeply care about one another. But they could use some relationship counselling.

In fact, Jasprosesprite^2 outright calls her lonely:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or the girl who likes ships! Cause they made her less lonely. ;3

So, she's anti-hemocaste and lonely, two character traits that were set up and never resolved. And beclaws this is Nepeta, in her honor, I'm going to talk about a third:

Her Unrequited Crush On Karcat

She has the BIGGEST flushed crush on Karkat. It's seen on her shipping wall twice, once with the word OTP on it.

And, despite never discussing it with her moirail, Nepeta mentions it once to Jaspersprite, and once to Jasprosesprite^2.

Now, I'm not really here to debate on the validity of KatNep - I think it's fine, even if I don't personally ship it, and don't personally think it would work out (there are lots of indications that they wouldn't work out, including Jasprosesprite^2 outright saying so). However, her crush on Karkat is both complicated and creates some interesting setups for her character. I am going to discuss it fairly critically either way, so KatNep shippers have been warned.

A lot of her feelings about Karkat - and about shipping in general - wind up being heavily interlinked with her status as a Hero of Heart, so I'm going to expand on it more there. But what I will note in this section is the fact that, despite Nepeta insisting twice that she doesn't think Karkat knows about her crush on her:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!

He tooootally did:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?

Interpret that how you will for shipping purposes, but I want to propose that this is a reflection of their statuses as Heart and Blood players. Heart, despite its players' obsessions with romance, is not the romance aspect, Blood is. Karkat displays this very same romantic acumen when he tells Dave that he's known Terezi and Gamzee were a thing for a long time, despite everyone else on the meteor trying to keep it a secret from him. Heart is, instead, about identity, feelings, motivations, souls, and self. In other words:

Nepeta Is Kind Of Bad At Shipping

Let's take a look at those shipping walls.

Let's break this down a little. Nepeta's ships are not entirely wrong, but even the successful ones are kind of wrong. Here's what I mean. We've already discussed how Equius and Nepeta's moirallegiance has some... issues in it. If we go down her list of ships that actually do happen, most of them have some issues in them!

Aradia expresses her regret for getting together with Equius in the Ministrife. Kanaya and Rose suffer some major relationship problems when Rose starts drinking, to the point Karkat feels a need to step in as an auspice. Karkat and Gamzee fail, as Karkat is not calmed by Gamzee, and Gamzee stops listening to Karkat. And while Sollux and Feferi seem to be fairly healthy, after they both wind up in the Furthest Ring, he's pretty much always next to Aradia - he and Feferi don't even get to exchange words with each other once they're in the Furthest Ring. Purrsonally, I think he and Feferi are meant to end up as moirails, but shhhh.

So what's happening here? Well, this goes back to her identity as a Heart player. Heart is concerned with feelings and motivations.

They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story. That isn't to say Heart-bound don't care deeply for their friends and allies; they just have a tendency to assume that everyone is as concerned with identity as they are.

Nepeta's shipping has also been associated with her isolation and loneliness. When you put this together, it implies that Nepeta's shipping is about her desire to understand others, and much of her ships are based on one of the parties having feelings, regardless of compatibility, feasibility, or broader implications. After all, despite the fact that she has pretty terrible romantic acumen, she IS able to instinctively identify that Eridan's advances toward her were insincere:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere

And that Karkat secretly LOVES and RESPECTS his friends:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!

Or knowing that Equius loves to play games, and still feels sad about Aradia exploding:

AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid! AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!! AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon! EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality NEPETA: :33 < equius? NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe

Because feelings, and not relationships, are her actual domain.

And speaking of Heart powers...

Nepeta and the Ultimate Self

So from this point forward, I'm going to assume you're more or less agreeing with my take that at some point after Game Over, Hussie - for whatever reason - gave up on his original ending, and wound up truncating his ideas so he could finish the comic faster. I go more into detail about that here.

So, in this hypothetical original ending, I firmly believe that the speech about the Ultimate Self would have come from Nepeta. First, let's take a look at what the "Ultimate Self" entails, as it appears within the comic:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming ... DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self

Now, I believe - and I hope you'll agree - that it's kind of lame, narratively, for Davesprite to have been set up with so much angst about not being the "real Dave," and for Nepeta to have all her issues with loneliness and shyness, and for these two specific iterations of each other to have never interacted, but suddenly getting double-prototyped fixes all of their problems, and they achieve Ultimate Selfhood despite being two total strangers to each other. So let's instead break down the more salient points about what Ultimate Selfhood entails, divorced from the fact that it's Davepetasprite^2 doing the narrating:

Every player in the game possesses an "Ultimate Self," an ultimate culmination of all their experiences and memories, specifically referred to as a "persona"

Normally, people are not aware of this, because it would be too overwhelming to deal with so many memories and iterations of each other.

Everyone will achieve Ultimate Selfhood eventually as the final culmination of their understanding of their aspect.

Heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self.

Let's talk about that last one some more, and by that I mean, let's see what Calliope has to say about it:

TT: I don't know why it had to be this way for me. Juggling these two waking selves at once. TT: I guess I'm used to it, but it still makes for a pretty intense existence. TT: Do you even know what the deal with that is? Like is there any precedent in your readings? UU: i don't know aboUt precedent, bUt it makes plenty of sense to me as the type of path one might expect for a hero of heart. UU: a path rUled by the heart aspect can be a joUrney of splintered self. UU: that is, the player's being may exhibit the same kind of fragmentation which certain classes coUld caUse in others. UU: i think this is what has triggered yoUr dUal-awareness between waking and dream selves, thoUgh it woUld not sUrprise me if the symptoms manifested in even more ways than this.

Now, Dirk has a clawmplicated relationship with his alternate selves, given that he's a Prince, but Nepeta wouldn't have the same struggles, or at least, not to the same degree. The problem is, hampered by Equius and her own shyness about discussing her thoughts and feelings with others:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

She never actually gets to explore this part of herself.

But What If... She Did?

The way I imagine the original ending going is that each troll that gets saved by John's interference in the timeline then asks John to help them fix their own mistakes, thereby saving somebody else. Each successive trip through the meteor brings new character development, and also riddles the comic with progressively more password pages, which I think would be really funny. And throughout all this the Game Over team is searching for Vriska, Meenah, and the treasure, and resolving their arcs that way, so it's not like they would be replaced - they're the ones who get to kill LE. The process, in my mind, goes like this:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent her from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros staying alive means that he and Gamzee wind up hashing out some stuff - Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. This is interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. So having Tavros back, alive, means that he and Gamzee would likely end up in some sort of relationship, probably pale despite flushed leanings, and would bring Gamzee back into the fold.

Gamzee would then be like, yeah, wow, that time I killed Nepeta and Equius was pretty bad, huh? Especially since his decision to hang onto his friends' bodies and prototype them is often interpreted as him genuinely feeling bad about his dead friends (he tells Kurloz to shut up when Kurloz mentions all the dead friends, and his religion seems to be about a paradise he wants to share with his friends anyway). So he'd ask John to prevent him from killing them, resulting in the two of them getting to live.

Things get much more hypothetical from here, since so much of the character dynamics would have changed, but I think by this point, Equius might command ask John to let him say goodbye to Aradiabot before she explodes, which he expresses feeling very sad about. However, in doing so, John and Aradiabot end up in the same room, and when she realizes that he has the ability to change the timeline without repercussions, she'd seize him by the arm and demand that he take her back in time, to before she died. After all, she expresses regrets about her reckless actions, and how she always felt like it was all one big setup.

She would take Aradia's place in the Vriska revenge chain, being once more freed of her robot chassis, and from there, would trick Doc Scratch and the Handmaiden into thinking everything was still going according to their designs. Meanwhile, Alive!Aradia would be hanging out at Equius's place, borrowing his void powers to avoid notice, coordinating a new timeline that keeps the beats of the original (too much deviation causes unpredictability, and an paradox'd timeline offshoot without John's direct interference would still become doomed), but allows them greater freedom and the ability to overcome the machinations of Doc Scratch and associates.

This would also prevent Sollux from becoming so self-loathing, since it's no longer "his fault" that Aradia dies, although he winds up in that hole again after Feferi gets killed. Now that his Aradia is alive, he wouldn't feel like he might as well stay in the bubbles because his closest companions are there, so he'd make it to the end, and would ask John to prevent Feferi's death.

Eridan still dies; he's so disconnected and isolated from all his friends that his course of actions is largely unaffected even by everybody else's timeline tweaks. But before Feferi can suggest bringing him back, Karkat would butt in.

The Friendship Troll should be the one to demand that ALL of their friends be revived, especially if they had everyone except only one guy, and Karkat and Eridan are heavily implied to be moirails anyway. The course of Karkat's fixes are so comprehensive, and primarily romance-based, that the end result of this final loop is everybody not only being alive, but god-tiered, with appropriate character development.

Now, where Nepeta's Heart powers would play into all of this is that she would start to notice something going on. After all, Heart players are sensitive to their splintered selves, and (Nepeta) is probably much closer to Nepeta than regular doomed timeline offshoots. As the loops continue, and Nepeta has more and more time to talk to people, and meets her dead alternate selves, and even meets (Nepeta), she starts to awaken to her Ultimate Self - to come into possession of alternate memories.

And if the Ultimate Self is a very soul-y kind of concept, such that Heart players have a natural advantage in coming to understand it, then isn't it a natural fit that a Rogue of Heart - one who steals from Heart or steals Heart for others - would be naturally inclined to share the wisdom of her alternate selves, and even the very concept of the Ultimate Self, with her friends?

Because the Ultimate Self is actually, in my opinion, a pretty good narrative device. It turns the sadness of the dead and doomed timelines into something littersweet instead, and makes it so any weirdness regarding time travel and not really knowing your friends anymore will eventually be resolved, even if off-screen.

It's not really narratively satisfying when Davepetasprite^2 suddenly comes into being and reaches enlightenment, but imagine if instead it's a post-character development Nepeta comforting Davesprite on his relevance, or Jade on her loneliness, or John on not really knowing these new post-retcon versions of his friends? It would feel a lot better, since in this hypothetical, she would have reached that point after on-screen character development. Being able to share her true self with her friends on the meteor - by necessity, since what else are they going to be doing for three years - leads to her finally being able to fulfill her role as a Rogue of Heart.

Also, at some point during these repeated meteor trips, she dates Karkat (whether that's successful or not, I'll leave to reader interpretation - you already know where I stand), fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date Karkat after she dies.

So that's two out of thr33 of her outstanding plot hooks resolved... okay. So, I try not to make these essays into ship propaganda, but hear me out:

Hate Is Stored In The FefNep

Okay, so, remember that thing about how Feferi is actually a huge casteist hypocrite? Well, let's also note that the comic, post-Murderstuck, seems to put Nepeta and Feferi together a lot - they're a Commodore and Rear Admiral in the ghost pirate army, respectively, and they also wind up as Fefetasprite. So I think it's not entirely out of left field to say that these two were implied to have SOMETHING going on.

And that something... is a difference in political views.

I mean, let's be real, there's a reason Fefetasprite is the most explode-prone after Tavrisprite. Miss "The Hemocaste is Stupid and Shouldn't Matter" vs. Miss "I Love Being A Princess And Call Jade Hornless and Finless (Derogatory)"? Come on, tell me you don't see it.

Without getting too much into Feferi, this hypocrisy, and unwillingness to check her privilege (so glad I found an excuse to use that term unironically), are probably her greatest character flaws - ie, the things you would expect the story to address about her. Meanwhile, one of Nepeta's flaws, which she laments to Jasproseprite^2, is that she feels too shy to talk about her feelings to other people, leading to her having never expressed her views on the hemocaste to anyone but Equius.

I think that they initially think they'd be friends. Each one of them would go "oh man, this other girl is soooo cute, I wish I could talk to her more often!"

And then, once they do, they realize they fucking hate each other. Nepeta would go "X00 < you are such a hypocrite who f33ls like youre better than all of us!!!" and Feferi would go "You're suc)( an uneducated glubbing P-EASANT! 3X0" and then they'd claw each others' eyes out. It would be so funny, and if a homestuck ship isn't extremely fucking funny, then why are we even here.

But more importantly, this would further them along into resolving each others' arcs - Feferi would be forced to grapple with the greater implications of classism, and Nepeta - who is shown having a spine the most in defiance of somebody else - would grow more aggressive about being open about her feelings in defiance of Feferi. Even Equius would get roped into it in a positive way - you can just imagine him going "D --> Can I really believe my auricular sponge clots D --> Nepeta, you are finally taking interest in politi%" and be 100% on board with teaching her so Feferi won't be able to call her uneducated.

And then for flushed, I dunno! Karkat's an option, and Jade and Jake also both love the fuck out of furries, and Tavros seems nice. But yeah I'll die on the fefnep hate ship. Guys it would be so funny.

Thank you as always for reading! Let me know if there's a troll you want to hear me ramble about next.

[freuleinanna]

I'm still confused about Verna.. I thought she was a demon?? Because why would Death be going around making a bunch of deals with people? After Verna told Pym she decided to go "topside" I thought she was some kind of crossroads demon since it implies she came from below (hell)

Oh! I feel you, and I struggled with that a lot too. She does seem a lot like a demon. I'm not saying I'm 100% correct in my thinking either, but here's why I personally think she's Death. Kind of a long post, sorry. I hope I make myself clear, but feel free to follow up!

So, Verna. An anagram for Raven, that much is established. Ravens are wonderful - symmetrical even - creatures. Bringers of death in a wide understanding. Bringers of good luck in many cultures. The duality is amazing. To me, that also leans majorly into the theme of death being a concept of duality: an enemy for some, a friend for others. Each greets her differently. I'm not talking about the characters here, but people in general.

There's a proverb I came across a while ago that reads 'Death is a great leveller'. Meaning, everyone's equal before her. You have no leverage or buffer against death, and it doesn't matter if you're poor or blindly, feverishly, grotesquely rich (like our folks here). Everyone pays the last bill. For everyone, there's a day of reckoning. It's a major theme with the show, at least. Verna also says 'Buy now, pay the bill later' - although it can still read very demonic, I agree.

She's obviously ancient, and I was leaning toward the demon theory based on all of her talking. Yet - she also keeps ranting about Egypt and pyramids and Cleopatras and such. What's the one thing with Egyptians everyone knows of? They honored death. Death may have been a bigger part of their lives than life itself. The Usher Twins' obssession with all things Egyptian, antiquities, jewelry, swords and such, plays a nice parallel here too, because they're just collectors. They have no grain of honor for the real thing, for what these things are tied to. Kind of a nice thought, I guess.

Anyway, back to Verna. She says on multiple occasions how intrigued she is with us, 'adorable little things'. She saw the pyramids, the expeditions, and she wanted to see what else we do, she wanted to see what Roderick and Madeline will do (in her own words). It's all an experiment to her. She makes an offer just to see what we, people, do.

Here's where my beef with a demon theory comes in. No demonic creature I could think of, be it an actual demon, a trickster, or something else, is that sincerely intrigued. Something something death loving life something something.

Demons, in my understanding, are most interested in winning the deal. They come up with incredible challenges, they enjoy torture, emotional or physical, they never let anyone win. Verna has never once expressed this. Quite the opposite. She gives everyone a chance to step back. Even when the ink has dried and everything's decided, each Usher sibling is conditioned to make a choice: push forward, or step back. Neither of them steps back. Neither of them takes a long hard look at themselves (except Tamerlane, both literally haha and figuratively, as she's the only one to have realized how lost she was in her way - just at the end, when it didn't really matter anymore, but still). Verna is kind to those she takes (sincere pet names, regrets of having to do it this way, making sure they know it's not personal, etc). She grieves with them, just before. Grieving - 'The Raven' being about an expression of grief and trauma - ravens as synonyms for death... you get the gist. Oh! Except Freddie - cause Freddie struck a cord. Infuriated her. So he doesn't get an expressed choice. And he would've blown it like coke anyway, so meh.

And then Arthur Pym. Oh, Arthur Pym. I honestly couldn't imagine a demon kneeling and thanking someone who's refused them.

About Arthur Pym, by the way. It's the one story I hadn't reread, and I should have, it turns out! haha Anyway, a few notes about his travels:

In the story, Arthur Pym is expressedly afraid of white color (North Pole, yada yada, white being the absense of colors/life, and the absense of life is death).

Verna enumerates the moments she witnessed of his travels. Someone getting left in Sahara. Someone getting shot in the Arctic. Something bad that was done to an Inuit woman. Why would she follow Arthur so closely? She didn't know him, he wasn't her favorite. I think it's because she came to collect those deaths. If she is death, she would've been exactly there, where people died. She would have also seen Arthur not partaking.

Aaaaaaaand it makes her 'You saw me' line sound better, because he had sure seen death along his travels.

I think the part about a place of out-of-time, out-of-space creatures and hollow Earth was a bit unnecessary, BUT I can try and tie it in this way:

It showed us how Arthur might have coped with what he saw, and he 'saw a lot', even in his 70s it's difficult for him to recall, and it made him think of humanity as a virus, literally;

He might have thought up that ethereal realm simply because he was in an expedition? Exhaustive conditions for both body and spirit? Traumatic experiences? If he saw Death, he might have cloaked it in his mind to cope with it, thus came his stories;

Verna going 'topside' may just mean that she had to go take a look herself, actually be willingly present for the events - to see the brave little humans conquer the earth. 'Topside', as in, 'visible, present, participating'. If Death exists, I doubt it bothers with our boring human realm but lives downunder, among all threads that weave the world.

So that's that on Arthur Pym.

A few other references my mind is too exhausted to tie in nicely:

Death takes Lenore. THE Lenore from 'The Raven' (mostly) and 'Lenore' (secondary). That happened. Also, death talking to a child of life? Regretting having to take her? Not very demonic of dear ol' Verna, in my opinion.

Her mourning veil, her last toasts to the Ushers at the cemetery? Demons don't tend to grieve their players. Demons don't respect and love them enough, and 'what is grief, if not love persevering'?

Death is the last threshold. Before death, we look upon our legacy (major theme with the show), we remember our losses and loves (Annabel Lee!!!!! love the poem, brilliantly done), we get heavy with regrets. We face death as an enemy & fight, like Madeline did. As a friend, like Arthur did. We confess, like Roderick did. All that is too significant to me overall.

And the last thing. It's Edgar Allan Poe. The whole Death tribute is a giant, incredible, thought-through-to-the-bits hommage to his literature where Death, figuratively and literally, takes the throne.

I hope I managed to express myself alright there. Thanks if you read it through, and as I said before, feel free to follow up or elaborate on some ideas. There are oceans to discuss. <3

[houserautha]

Feyd is the type to go on and on about getting his wife/partner pregnant but when it comes to actually raising a child? The dramaaaaaa(and unhealed trauma) Ideally Feyd wants to raise a strong and ruthless warrior worthy of succeeding him when the time comes but like what if the little guy(probably a boy bc the prophecy and all that)just got real unlucky in the genetics lottery all the crazy and bloodthirsty-ness his parents have just skips a generation and he's the most sensitive and shy creature to ever be born on geidi prime the most un-harkonen harkonen Feyd getting frustrated his child doesn't have the strength to pick up a sword without trembling,to shed blood without wincing,to take a life without crying canonically I think he'd just throw the kid in the woods to fend for himself Sparta style and hope they die or return and be "normal" thinks he's been coddled for far too long because he just can't accept his son is so different from him sorry to dump all this on you dude I just had to talk to this to somebody!😭💀

Wait don’t apologize I actually really love this

Feyd would be incredibly insecure about fatherhood. He would struggle to connect with a newborn and swear that his son hates him because he always bursts into tears whenever Feyd picks him up. And as a toddler?? Feyd is already as volatile as a toddler so his son would infuriate him😂 I feel like he would snap and be impatient and frustrated. And maybe because he feels so insecure about his parenting/relationship with his son, he throws himself into work so that he doesn’t have to interact with his son as much

So his son grows up with a pretty explosive, absent father. Now he’s a child, and Feyd shows an interest in him again — it’s time to learn how to fight. Feyd spars with his son until his body is mottled with bruises and snot dries on his upper lip; Feyd is appalled by his son’s “weakness” and so shocked that he lashes out at him. Feyd definitely does not understand how to regulate his emotions or disguise his thoughts.

(Now, feel free to disregard this part because it’s related to TDE) Reader knows what it’s like to have your parents disappointed in you and your capabilities, so she nurtures her son and encourages him to do what he likes. I think it would be especially funny if their son is like naturally very tall and strong but is like Ferdinand and just wants to sit in the sun and read all day😂

So reader allows their son to pursue his interests — reading and politics and academics, which he excels in. He grows into a teenager. Other children his age mock him because he is so unlike any other Harkonnen, tease him that his mother must’ve been unfaithful. Their son, in turn, keeps to himself and doesn’t have any friends.

At this point I think Feyd (sadly) would’ve given up on his son. He would occasionally force him to take up a dagger or throw a punch, claiming that no son of his would be so weak. Now, as much as the son loathes these training sessions and his father’s cruelty, he desperately wants his approval. Which is the only reason he continues to agree to let Feyd push him to the dirt over and over again, to draw blood; to belittle him.

And this would drive a wedge in between Feyd and reader’s relationship. She understands Feyd’s own unresolved trauma and the Harkonnen battle culture, but she doesn’t understand how her husband could be so unkind to their son — who looks like a combination of them both, with Feyd’s plush lips but your distinct Atreides nose, brows always pulled down in concentration over his dark eyes.

“He will never survive here,” Feyd snarls at you one evening, when the conversation naturally drifts to your son as it always does. Feyd is shaking with his heightened emotions. “I just want him to be successful.”

And you push back, “He is successful.“

“His achievements mean nothing to the other Harkonnens. They demand brutality and blood, not his…weakness.”

And maybe as their son turns eighteen (or whatever age Harkonnens are deemed an adult, maybe younger because they don’t live very long lives) Feyd sends their son on the ceremonial journey into the Giedi Prime wilderness. Reader is unable to prevent this. Their son is expected to forge his own way home or perish. Now, their son takes an abnormally long time to return but he does — half dead because he refused to kill any wildlife or steal from others, surviving only on his wit and his knowledge of survival.

Feyd is not impressed.

And maybe this strenuous relationship continues well their son’s adulthood. It’s not until a political rival challenges Feyd that he discovers just how strong his son is. The rival is peaceful and refuses to fight or draw a weapon, and Feyd knows he can’t initiate an attack without suffering the consequences. He entirely has no idea how to handle this. But his son does.

His son knows all about this rival’s culture and history, how to appeal to them, how to navigate their political court and ultimately subdue the threat that they pose. For the first time, Feyd is proud of his son.

And thus begins the turn around of their relationship and Feyd realizing that strength does not always have to be physical. His son is probably in his late twenties/early thirties by now and Feyd takes to teaching his son less aggressive ways to fight — poison and pressure points and defensive measure — and allows his son to teach him about what he knows.

It certainly doesn’t blossom and thrive overnight. They are staunchly opposed to each other’s beliefs but somewhat begrudgingly begin to trust one another and build respect and admiration.

Feyd doesn’t know how to apologize or how to express his guilt over his son’s wasted childhood, but you bet your ass he leaps to his son’s defense whenever he gets the chance and defends him relentlessly.

And, oh, just wait until he becomes a grandfather.

Finally he feels he can rectify his wrongs.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Hello are you still doing the SAGAU for reader gets mad and blowing up at people for certain characters? If you are can you do traveler or Lumine if you don’t want to do a general head cannon and fischl still? I’m so angry about how many NPC world quests that now seem like a pattern of traveler helps and then gets backstabbed and left to die and just really think those NPC need to under stand the gravity and anger of the players.

Hello, @celestialsiren! Yes, supposedly, I am still doing this series lol—I don't see why I should end it, seeing as there's always new characters that people request for. Ofc I'll do the Traveler!

Click Me For Part 1!

Click Me For Part 2!

Click Me For Part 3!

Reader Defending the Traveler! (Also No Vice Versa)

(Disclaimers: This May be OOC, And This Post Will Mainly be Using Lumine as "The Traveler." However, This Post Still Can Be Read as GN!Traveler or Aether.)

Lumine

To be frankly honest, I think you (the Reader) would feel pretty connected to Lumine. She's understanding, she's calm, and most importantly, she gets what it's like not to be from Teyvat. She's passed the celestial atlas to venture the world that is Teyvat, only to be prevented by the Unknown God.

Safe to say, you both were like two peas in a pod. And you were willing to travel with her and find her brother. Lumine gets you a lot, and you refuse any harm coming her way.

That includes verbal complaints. Like, honestly—Lumine's done so much for Teyvat for an outlander, and this is how they treat her?! You weren't having it.

So you planted your foot down, and boy, was your glare menacing. Your words were harsher than the blizzards of Dragonspine, and your glare was as menacing as the Dead Skeleton of Orobashi in Watatsumi Island.

Anyone who you deemed as enemy—in this situation, these good-for-nothing, took-for-granted gossipers—was paling at the seems of the Almighty Creator stomping their egos down. And, not gonna lie, Lumine kinda likes watching some of them. Some of the insults you used were actually used in other worlds—something only Lumine would know, but others didn't. It was kind of hilarious.

Alas, she can't have you go around and go all out all the time. Someone needs to make sure that the Creator doesn't try to decimate random folks, even if they are pretty infuriating.

"Your Grace." Lumine puts her hand on your shoulder. "Let's hurry up and finish this commission. We still need to get those rewards." You huff, but you let the insulters go, without a threatening note.

Yeah...she was not expecting to be an occurrence with so many other characters, but hey! Lumine's not gonna stop you :)

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: And we're done! Sorry if it's really low quality lol—I am so tired as I'm writing this :') I do hope you guys enjoyed it, though! Don't feel discouraged to keep sending me requests!

At this rate requests are probably the only thing that's keeping my blog alive. My blog is on constant life support LOL

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not getting along with one of my coworkers?

So I (16M) work with a few others (16F, 17F, 37F, 51M) in crisis management and, for the most part, I get along with my coworkers as much as I have to. They're decent enough people, and while I don't intend to be working this job forever, it's good experience for the field I intend to be going into in the future, I'm good at the job, and I don't have to deal with a lot of people aside from my coworkers which is honestly an ideal for myself.

There is, however, this one guy (17M) who just… he's infuriating, for lack of a better description. He seems to get everything just handed to him, because the boss (49M, 16F is his daughter) thinks he's the best at everything and he does too. He is not the best at everything, and he hasn't been working anywhere near as hard as I have for this… basically, my entire life. And yet he's the one who everyone likes, he's the one who is likely to get a promotion the next time there is one available…

I just don't get it! I used to be able to commiserate with 16F about this, given how often she was shadowed by 17M, but lately even she's started to like him, and says that I'm being unfair to him. That I should try talking to him, when he just… he's weirdly quiet. I honestly don't know if he talks to anyone except when he has to, but he definitely doesn't talk to me. Why would he, when he thinks he's so much better than me?

Still, 16F is a good friend, and upon asking around to the rest of our mutual coworkers (49M excluded; I don't particularly like him for a number of reasons including his treatment of his own daughter, but that's a matter for a separate AITA post) I discovered that everyone else was on 17M's side instead of mine. Yet again.

Just today, I did try to talk to him. I showed him one of the most impressive things I could do and didn't even get a reaction. So I snapped. Yelled at him quite a bit, and then left to cool off.

Am I being the asshole? I'd be willing to dismiss this if it was just one or two of my coworkers who really liked 17M, but for it to be literally everyone… I'm starting to think I might be the problem. Advice on how to fix it would, honestly, be much appreciated—I'll be the first to admit I'm not much of a people person, and I doubt sarcastically wishing him luck sealing the darkness helped matters.

What are these acronyms?

[demiesworld]

riding karaku's thigh (nsfw / 18+)

pairing: karaku x human!reader

synopsis: no plot just the usual filth

content: thigh riding, praising, dirty talking, nipple play, groping, talk of taking away virginity, corruption kink (implied) idk what else to add

notes: reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns. karaku calls reader "kiddo" but it is a term of endearment and she is of legal age.

part two here!

You were surprised that you weren't killed or eaten, yet when you met the 4 emotional counterparts of Hantengu. Especially when it came to the carefree demon named Karaku. He used to taunt you by saying he was going to eat you for dinner once they've gotten tired of you. You've been living with them for several months now and there's been no sign of either of them wanting to consume you. So you could assume you were safe.

You're pretty much viewed as their ward. Sekido would have you listen to him gripe about how infuriating his other counterparts were during missions. Urogi liked to take you on flights with him and eat other humans (of course he doesn't let you watch him, but you could hear it). Aizetsu enjoyed cuddling with you in a bed with his face hidden in your neck while he wept about being yelled at by Sekido.

And then there's Karaku. He was different from the rest. Karaku liked to have you sitting on his lap. He didn't tell you why because you never bothered to ask him. He just told you one day to sit in his lap and you did without argument. Not that you didn't like it, but you found it strange that he would pull you on his lap when he was around his other counterparts.

Aizetsu would glance over at the two of you shyly. Sekido would scowl and surprisingly not say anything to Karaku at all. Meanwhile Urogi would have this wide grin on his face and like the others he wouldn't point it out as well.

You grew to be numb to Karaku pulling you on his lap. There were times where he didn't have to initiate it. You did. You went to him crying one night because you soiled a kimono that Sekido bought you with ink. You knew that Sekido would be very upset with you about it, so the only person you could turn to was Karaku. He let you climb into his lap and sit down on it, stuttering over your words as you tell him what happened. His muscled strong arms holding you against his chest and his chin rested on your shoulder.

"Ssh, ssh, it's okay kiddo. Sekido might be an asshole and all but it's not like he's going to kill you just for spilling ink on your kimono." Karaku comforted you with gentle pets to your head.

Your shoulders jolt as you hiccup and let out a pitiful sniffle. Your voice was trembling when you ask, "D-Do you think so?"

Karaku's face fell into a frown when you asked him that. "I'm one of his counterparts, so of course I am right." When you sat there and blinked slowly at him he sighs, "Listen, the most Sekido might do will probably be complaining and warning you to be careful about it. Then he may or may not buy you the same kimono." He explains to you.

The explanation brought a relief off your shoulders and you kindly smile once you felt relaxed. You knew how unpredictable Sekido could be with anger being his only emotion. Though you needed that reassurance. You were happy that Karaku could provide you with that.

"I feel better now, thank you Karaku."

The demon just snorted and turned his face away from you. "Don't thank me, kiddo, just pray in whatever God there is that Sekido will be in a tolerable mood tomorrow."

You firmly nod your head, "I will do just that."

Karaku hums and there's a comfortable silence between you two as you sit on his lap. The demon looks at you from the corner of his eye and then says, "Don't you have to take a bath or something? I know you like to be clean before you go to sleep."

You perk up when he says that, "Oh yes! It is getting late and I did come over unannounced." You stand up from his lap. As much as you didn't want to leave from his lap, you didn't vocalize your feelings. You did a good job at hiding your inner thoughts.

Your foot steps lightly pad along the floor towards the sliding door and you delicately touch the frame. Just as you were about to slide the door open you pause. Thoughts were running through your head as you poised there with pursed lips.

Karaku notices your hesitation at the entryway. He starts to speak about it, but your silvery voice asked in a haste. "Would you walk with me to the bathhouse?" His eyes widen for a fraction of a second before narrowing at you and tilting his head to the side. Your back was to him so you didn't see his befuddled expression until you looked over your shoulder at him. You smile tenderly at the demon and you went to explain, "It's just that... there's demons around this part of the forest and if a demon sees me walking alone they will probably end up eating me." You then add, "Maybe if they see me with a stronger demon beside me they won't bother to attack me." Your eyes drift to the side hoping that Karaku bought your story.

The tanned skin demon sat there deliberating your explanation, and he didn't say a word or moved. Suddenly he grinned widely exposing his sharp fangs. If he accompanies you on your journey to the bathhouse no other demon would dare to challenge an upper moon like him. Karaku arrogantly stood to his feet stretching his muscular arms above his head and scuffed his towering figure to you.

He chuckles at the hopeful expression you made. "Don't worry kiddo, I won't let anything happen to you. Now go grab your things, and I will meet you at the entrance." He opens the door for you and places a hand on your lower back to move you forward.

You turn to Karaku as he slides the door closed to his chambers and emphasized worriedly, "Shouldn't we inform the others that we are leaving for the bathhouse?"

He quickly tells you, "No." and leads you in the direction of your respective chambers. "Go gather your things, kiddo."

After you've got together your belongings, you meet with Karaku at the entrance and walk with him to the bathhouse. The demon strides behind you holding his uchiwa perched on his shoulder. You walk ahead of him holding your items inside of a wicker basket. The walk to the bathhouse did not take long and you two didn't encounter a demon on your way.

The bathhouse you used was thankfully deserted due to the demons that surrounded the forest. No humans would use it in the dead of night for fear of being attacked. At least not without adequate protection. You enter the bathhouse, strolling to the steaming pool encircled by stones and a open window behind it. You place your wicker basket on the stool gently.

Karaku sniffed the air for any scent of another demon and he didn't sense any. He stood near the exit of the bathhouse waiting for you to settle before he announced, "I don't smell any other demon around here. So I'm going to be standing outside, waiting, while you finish up in here." He turned his back to you, grabbing the side of the door to open it.

"Karaku, wait!" You accidentally said it as a shout, causing him to jolt at the sound. Even you were surprised when you did that and you covered your mouth with your hands. You stared at Karaku's broad back and meekly ask, "Would you like to bathe with me?"

Karaku twist half his body to face you with a bewildered expression. His thick eyebrows were raised, green eyes widened, and mouth ajar by your question. He processed what you said before he piped, "What?"

You wave your hands defensively, and exclaim, "Wait, wait, just listen to what I have to say first!" You clutch onto the edge of your kimono's collar with a fist and nervously revealed, "I... I'm sorry. It's just I like spending time with you Karaku and I don't want to be alone in here without you."

If the demon had a heartbeat it would have been pounding against his chest. Instead there was a dull ache at the center and it made him feel uncomfortable. It was an unfamiliar feeling that he hadn't felt before. Not before you.

While he didn't know how to welcome this foreign feeling, he knew that he wanted to discover it with you. So the demon did what would probably be taboo in demon culture. He accepted your confession for his affection. "I will stay in here with you." He affirmed.

You softly ask in admiration, "You will?"

His deep-voiced whispered to you in a vow, "Yes." He tosses his uchiwa onto the ground; his green eyes didn't leave from yours. Karaku walked towards you and gently touched your face with his large hand. His thumb affectionately caresses your cheekbone and you lean towards his touch. Even though it was cold in comparison to your warm skin just the physical contact of it made you glow. Karaku's nose nuzzles on the top of your head, breathing in your gentle scent. His eyes flutter shut when his lips kisses your forehead.

Karaku guides you in the direction of a folded privacy screen and then leads you behind it. "Why don't you take off your clothes and I will be waiting for you in the bath pool?"

Without thinking of what he said you eagerly yelped, "Yes!" Letting him leave you discard your clothing behind the screen. Karaku removed his hakama and his sash prior to stepping into the steaming hot water in the bath. He sat on a stone seat that was conveniently facing the privacy screen you were behind. He stretches his long strong arms and rests them on the edge of the pool.

You were about to walk out from the privacy screen when you remembered you were completely nude and you hid behind it. You squeal, "Wait, Karaku close your eyes please! I'm naked!"

"So am I." He boasted with an arrogant smirk.

"Karaku, please! Let me have some dignity!" You whine and get on your hands and knees in a praying position behind the screen.

The demon shakes his head, "No way kiddo, besides it's just you and me. We're both going to be taking a bath in the same pool and this was your idea remember?" You could hear the amusement in his voice when he teased you.

You kneel behind the privacy screen silently for a moment. You then got up to your feet and let out a defeated sigh. Your arms stretch across your chest to hide your nipples, and your other hand covers your womanhood. You still felt exposed despite covering yourself up. Karaku splashes his hand into the water and creates small waves while you timidly step out from behind. Still hiding your most intimate areas from the demon, you step into the pool, eyes avoiding his pointed stare. Karaku watches you lower your body into the water and sit just three arms length away from him.

"No way kiddo, you know that's not how I like it." He says.

You whine again, "Come on Karaku! Just this one time, because we're both naked!"

"My lap is the only seat you can sit on. Now get over here, don't make me repeat myself." He chided, waving his hand for you to come to him.

You don't argue with the demon. You wade through the water to get closer to Karaku and once you're within arms reach he grabs your wrist and pulls you onto his lap. The sudden action surprised you, and you clumsily fall right onto him. Your breasts were pressed against his chest and core sat right on his thigh. You squeal, and try to adjust your position by pushing him away but Karaku had you in a firm and unmoving grip.

"Hey, quit it." He told you seemingly annoyed by your resistance. The demon added slight pressure to your wrist. You stop moving to look at him with your heart pounding. "Sit down."

You take a seat on his thick, muscular thigh placing your hands on his shoulders to keep you balanced. This was a new position to you. When you did sit on Karaku's lap you'd usually sit appropriately with your bottom seated on his thigh. Never with your legs sandwiching his thigh between them. Your folds caressing on the skin of his groin. You shift slightly only to let out a sudden moan when your clit rubs against his thigh. Your hands fly up to your mouth, muffling the sound, and look at Karaku with wide eyes.

"I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." You hastily apologized, and the demon just smirked at your innocence.

Karaku teased, "I think you meant to do that kiddo," You go to object, but he adds on, "Was this a part of your plan to get me alone with you so you could exploit your immodest fantasies and bring them to existence?"

You shake your head vehemently denying his accusations. "No, no, no that's not what I brought you here for! I brought you here to spend alone time with you not to do... that!" Your cheeks warm up as you couldn't believe Karaku could assume you had perverted thoughts.

His hands grasp onto your hips steadying you on his thigh. Thick, long fingers were squeezing the flesh of your ass. Karaku's lips glides up the valley between your breasts and up to behind your ear. He places a gentle kiss there. The tenderness of a demon that you should normally fear bestowing upon you was intense. Especially since you were alone with him in a bathhouse just minutes away from their hideout. No other being would be able to hear your cries. Karaku lets his lips kiss you on your forehead, then your nose, and then kisses both cheeks. His face is so close to yours, you know for a fact that he could smell your fear and hear your racing heart.

"You're so tense kiddo, why is that?"

You replied, "Because you're behaving so affectionately to me and it's making me... feel scared."

One of his hands move away from your ass to cup your cheek in its hold. In his husky voice he whispered, "You shouldn't feel scared not when you're with me. You know that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"Yes I know that, but still Karaku-" your sentence gets interrupted when the demon lunges forward and passionately kisses your lips.

The kiss you share with Karaku is nothing sort of heart-fluttering, intoxicating and genuinely sensual. He seemed to move his lips with grace and tenderness as if he knew this was your first kiss. Which admittedly it was. Your first kiss in the eyes of humanity should have been with a human. However, your sentiments for Karaku was immense and stronger than feeling guilt for being associated with a demon like him. You reciprocate the kiss the best you could by following the demon's lead. As his lips sucked on your bottom lip your tongue swiped along the outline of his own. He seemed to like that because he moved his arms to embrace you closer to his bare chest and deepen the kiss. Now his velvety tongue was exploring inside of your mouth. He was mindful of his sharp fangs and careful not to scratch your delicate skin with them. The kiss appeared to be turning into something sweltering and intense when your tongues first touched and you could taste Karaku.

He could taste you too, you tasted delicious and addictive. He sniffed out your trembling fear turning into mind-numbing pleasure. Your body relaxing while remaining caged in his arms. The demon sucks on your tongue, obnoxiously making loud slurping sounds before releasing it followed by a short grunt. His emerald green eyes watch in amusement as you pant. He almost forgot that you were a human and breathing in your case was a crucial aspect. Nonetheless, Karaku wordlessly creates a path with his lips. Starting from your mouth to the expanse of your neck and lastly ending at the valley of your breasts once more.

You gasp when you see the demon you adored face voluntarily trapped in between your breasts. Karaku's hands hold both breasts in one palm, the left hand using its fingers to stroke over your hardening nipples. He asks you, "Will you give me the honor of pleasuring you Y/N?"

A shudder runs through your body at the question. Yet you timidly nod your head and that was enough of an approval for Karaku. His mouth opens and he licks at your nipple whilst pinching and rubbing the other. Your back arches forward and your hand cards fingers through his wavy black tresses. You let out a moan when he sucks on your nipple and swirls his tongue around it. The feeling just felt so good.

You jolt when teeth are nibbling at your nub then a tongue is flicking at it. Karaku pulls his mouth away with a lewd "pop" and moves his lips to your other neglected breast. He lends it the same treatment he did as the previous one. Velvet tongue swirling around your areola, lips suctioning your nipple, and teeth just lightly gnawing on your teat. You were sitting there on his thigh, a little unsure on what you're supposed to do. You had no experience with intimacy with a man let alone a demon. You didn't know what to do to make Karaku feel as aroused as you did.

Karaku observed your uncertainty and stops sucking on your breasts to speak. He squeezes them in the palms of his hands, successfully grabbing your attention despite you looking disoriented. "Y/N," he calls out your name. "Do you remember that feeling you felt when you rubbed against my thigh?" You sat there blank for a moment until you did have a flashback of when you accidentally moaned and you nodded your head to him. Satisfied with your answer, he continued, "I want for you to do that again. Rub yourself on my thigh, lovely."

You listen and do as you're told. You repeat the movement you did earlier, rubbing your clit on Karaku's thigh in the warm pool. You were caressing your folds up and down on him. At the same time small moans were spewing past your lips. The arousal you had been feeling intensified from doing this.

"That's right lovely, make yourself feel good okay? You're doing such a good job right now. You look so pretty, my lovely little human." He praises you and compliments you in an earnest conviction. The words he said encouraged you to grind faster, but then you suddenly slow down and return back to steady strokes. Karaku reassured, "If you want to go faster, it's okay to do that kiddo." He lowers his mouth to your nipple and mouths against it. His warm breath tickling your nipple as he utters, "Go at your own pace, hmm..." He suckles on your teat for a second then plucks it out of his mouth. "I won't be mad."

"Hnng," you make a suppressed sound. You press down firmly on his thigh and practically rut your folds along his thigh. The friction you're receiving from it is making your body feel prickly all over. "Karaku, o-oh!"

He mutters into your breast, his eyes fascinated by you, "Look at you being such a good, lovely little human. Doesn't that feel good, pleasurable, Y/N?" He lets go of your breast to hold your chin to make you look down at him. He repeats his question, "Doesn't that feel pleasurable?"

"Y-Yes, yes it does Karaku." You cease your rutting to try out bouncing on his thigh and this proved to be another gratifying method too. You closed your eyes as you bounced on his thigh, in the back of your mind you were wishing it could have been something else. You were beginning to be confident in your own skin now. You gasp when his lips were sucking harshly on your nipple and his right hand was gripping on your ass cheek. You cry out, "Karaku~ It feels too good!"

The demon releases your nipple to respond, "I bet it does kiddo." He then inhales sharply through his nose before emitting a groan. "I can smell you're getting excited from this. My lovely little human isn't so innocent anymore, isn't she? You're going to be a corrupted little thing by the day I get to have you."

You make a puzzled sound, "Huh?" your pussy throbs once you start contemplating what he meant by that. Though you did not stop moving, you did ask him, "W-What do you m-mean Karaku?"

He smirks at you then goes to explain, "What we have between us will not stop here and just be a one-time thing my lovely human. I'm hoping to be the one and only to take away your virginity and show you what true bliss feels like." He brings his mouth to your ear, his deep voice whispering into it, "I'm only holding myself back from penetrating you because I know you are a virgin and a ripe one at that Y/N." He sniffs the air around you then groans, "Fuck. I'm not just going to stop at taking away your virginity either, I'm going to take away your innocence, and together you and I will explore our deepest, darkest desires. Your experience with me will be like with no other human or demon. Even if you leave me, I will be sure to bestow such a great impact on your sex life, that future partners will never be able to bring you to a climax." You let out a whine, frantically rubbing your clit on his thigh and hearing him growling, punctuating each word, "Not, like, I, will." Karaku looks at you in your eyes then asks, "Would you want that my little human?"

You eagerly nod your head to him, tears running down your cheeks and a hiccup coming from you. "I would want that Karaku! I don't want for no one else but you!" Your toes curled and your stomach tightened up when you start to feel a foreign sensation brew. You don't know what it is, but you know it feels like a balloon inside of you needs to pop. Your hands grab a hold of Karaku's face, boldly initiating an open-mouthed kiss, while you frantically rut your clit on his thigh. "Mm! Hm!"

"Agh, hm, fuck, kiddo. Tell me what you feel right now."

You stammer, "I-I feel like I'm going to- something's going to burst." You let out an abrupt gasp when your body tenses up and legs start to shake. "K-Karaku! Karaku!" You cry out his name, burying your face into his neck as you rut your hips against his thigh. Unknowingly just enduring your first orgasm.

He strokes his hand up and down your back, his mouth pressing kisses to your temple and praising you, "Good girl, good girl. You did so well, lovely." He hears you sniffling and clutch onto him tighter. Then the feeling of warm tears touching his shoulder has him cooing, "It's okay, it's alright my little human. I know it surprised you but did it feel good when it came out?" You hum in agreement and nod your head. "See that wasn't bad now was it?" You shake your head to which the demon just chuckles at you. "Ah~ Whatever shall I do with you kiddo?"

You move your face from the junction of where his neck and collarbone meet to look at the demon with teary, puffy eyes. Your voice is wobbly when you articulate the words, "C-Can I take a pr-proper bath now Karaku?"

Karaku agreed to letting you actually bathe this time. You used your soaps to clean off the dirt you accumulated during your day. You even got him to help you with scrubbing your hair and he allowed you to comb his hair after noticing there were tangles in it. By the time the two of you were finished, it was getting to be late at night and you both had to go back to the hideout. You walked with Karaku side-by-side to the hideout. As you two neared it you heard voices yelling at each other.

"What the hell do you mean you couldn't find their scent? You're part bird! How does that even make sense?!"

"The trail started from Karaku's room then it ended right before the bathhouse! It's not like Y/N could have just up and disappeared! She's been taken by another demon Sekido!"

"Sekido, Urogi, please calm down. Your fighting is making me sad."

"Shut the hell up Aizetsu! You're just as hopeless as Urogi!"

You and Karaku both shared a look while you stood in the clear pathway listening to the three of them bicker with each other. Not one of them sensed your presence as they were too consumed in their argument to bother.

Urogi dared him in a shout, "...If you think we're so hopeless then why don't you go out and find Y/N then?!"

Sekido retorts, "Someone has to stay here just in case she comes back you buffoon!"

Aizetsu raises a hand and quietly offers, "I could stay behind."

They both yell at him in unison, "No!"

notes: ngl this shit took me forever to fucking finish. but it is done! i just hope i made the smut as nasty as possible. feels like i focused more on the romance and angsty shit though.

© 2023 demiesworld

[chaeinedup]

1 + 1 = S2

Loud music could be heard from both rooms in the house. Your neighbours have probably grown accostumed to such thing, it meant it was going out night. Part of them was relieved it wasn't another noisy game night, which are pretty frequent as well.

You were seated on the floor, redoing your ponytails for the 3rd time. Your arms were on fire but you were committed to this look.

"Siri, call yuyu please."

"Calling yuyu."

.....

"Hello ? Y/n ?"

"Hiii just wanted to ask where you are."

"We're almost ready to leave the house. You guys ?"

"I'm almost done if my hair cooperates with me. Wooyoung is most likely waiting for me. I'm surprised he hasn't barged in my room yet."

"Try not to be late!"

"AS IF!!"

"Don't give me attitude missy. Now I'm gonna get the car started, I'll see you in a bit. Bye"

"Bye Bye, don't miss me!"

.....

After 10 more minutes you were finally done. One last look in the mirror and all that work paid off. The boots made your legs look longer and your mini skirt complemented the cropped shirt well. You grabbed your purse and headed to the leaving room where a very impacient Wooyoung awaited you.

"What took you so long ?"

"It takes time to look this good you know?"

"Pleeeease!!"

"Don't roll your eyes at me wooyoung I'll hit you."

"And I'd like it so who's really winning?"

He gave you his signature smirk and winked at you from the couch.

"EW. Let's go. The others already left."

The club was pretty crowded, expected for a friday night, but you weren't scared to get lost. You like to get loose. And it's not like you don't have 8 guys that are constantly keeping an eye on you.

"Don't run off on us again for the love of god."

"Seonghwa for your own sake if I stay none of yall are pulling anyone. Same applies to me."

"Why do you want to get with anyone ?"

"Wouldn't you like to know! I'm off, if you need me yell."

You made your way t the dance floor before he opened his mouth.

"BUT YOU WON'T HEAR IT!!"

"YEAH THAT'S THE POINT!!"

Since it was a 2000s night you were more than happy to have traded your comfortable apartment for the hell. It has it's perks.

You had no idea but someone was drilling holes in your head, Wooyoung was exceptionally bothered by how you left them behind.

"How can she just leave ?"

"Cause she can ?? What are you on about, chill she's not your girl."

Mingi's words were harsher than what met the eye. Sure you weren't dating but he can't lie that the though of some other guy touching you infuriated him. He kept denying his feelings and that maybe this was just him wanting to protect his friend. But Yunho smiled to himself when he saw Wooyoungs furrowed eyebrows.

"You should just tell her how you feel you know?"

"What feelings? It's just unfair we're her friends and she doesn't care."

"And you care too much for "just a friend" don't you think? Listen she can take care of herself she's always been this way, you get used t it."

Yunho tried to relax him but it just made Wooyoung get int his head. Maybe he should've stayed home. No, he couldn't possibly let you out of the house by yourself looking like that.

Meanwhile you were having the time of your life, you had met a group of girls that were on their bacherolette party. It's like you knew them all your life, screaming all the songs, taking pictures, clinking drinks. Girlhood.

You decided to go get another drink and since no one else wanted anything you went alone. Normally this would mean getting approached by a couple of random guys trying to smooth talk you and al of them failling to do so. But unlike other times, the voice behind you was familiar.

"So. Are you having fun ?"

"Oh my god Yunho, I am those girls are so fun. Did you know that the bride and groom met through mutual friends and they actually lived together for a while before he realised he had feelings for her?? How CUTE is that??"

He couldn't help but smile due to the resemblances.

"Yeah it's really sweet. I guess you really never know when love is ready to knock at your door. But what about you, have you gone maneater on anyone?"

"I kinda don't care honestly, I'm having a good time and that's all I care about."

"That's my girl. Now be sure to behave. If you need us, we're at the booth.

He kissed your cheek before disappearing into the sea of people.

You looked at the time, 5:23am. Time to call it a night. You sayed goodbye to the group of girls that accompanied you through the night and wished them all the best. Making your way up to the booths you realised you were a lot more under the influence than you thought. You didn't really care, it's almost the end of the night and the guys are more then used to this side of yours.

Once they saw you they cheered and clapped, you bowed like a princess and smiled at their unnecessary but appreaciated "welcome back".

"How many fishes did you catch sailor?" Mingi gave you another shot he had brought upstairs.

"A THOUSAND" You yelled and chugged the green liquid. "I'm kidding 0, there's no cute guys here."

You sat down next a very pouty Wooyoung.

"What's up with you? What happened to my loud and energetic comrade?"

He gave you no answer, just his cold gaze.

"Damn are you really that upset that I didn't stick around? I thought you were used to it by now."

He got up and made his way to the balcony. There's no way he's throwing a tantrum for something so stupid, you thought to yourself. You followed his angry steps.

"Be so fucking serious Wooyoung? What the fuck?"

He turned to you and you could see there wasn't a hint of alchool in his system. This wasn't one of his drunk stunts that he pulled when he wanted a tad bit more of attention. He was actually upset.

"Okay, I'm sorry I'm being so agressive, just talk to me woo, please."

"I don't like you running off on us that's all."

"That's not all Wooyoung, we've never been mad at eachother and it's not gonna start now."

You got closer to him holding his hands and caressing them. You were giving him your most sincere eyes and he couldn't believe that he was about to kiss you.

It caught you by surprise, so much so you froze in the first few seconds, not knowing if this was a dream or reality. You decide to give in nonetheless. His hands soft, like you remembered from all the times he touched your skin in times of need. Heartbreaks, cramps, tickles, you name it. He was always there for you.

Yunho sipped his drink with a victorious grin, as he watched from the inside. He looked at the rest of the guys and let out a "I told you so."

previous// //next

[almightygremlinblob]

Promise Me This (Kaorijaku x Jin Itadori)

Writing this was…honestly a fever dream. I did NOT mean for Jin to be this unhinged, JESUS CHRIST. Kenjaku is reffered to with he/him pronouns (except for wife) but has fem!body parts cuz…well, Kaori. This is also under the HC that the Itadori family, while not exactly sorcerers, weren't completely oblivious to the world of curses. Anyways, no beta'd smexy-times under the cut, so minors or anybody not comfortable with that DNI pls.

Word Count: 2730-ish words of Kenjaku having the time of his life and Jin being a maniac

⚠️CONTENT WARNINGS⚠️

Soft Dom!Jin Itadori. Jin being just…absolutely UNG-FUCKING-HINGED in this, like, he dives face first off the deep end. Kenjaku being a complete slut and bottom for Jin (like, srsly, he is down HORRENDOUSLY BAD for his man), ft. his breeding kink and a little OOC. Multiple orgasms. Monsterfucking. Body horror cuz Kaorijaku. Squirting. Jin makes out with Kenjaku's brain mouth. Everything's consensual, tho and ends in kinda fluff? Would you consider that fluff? Does that make it worse? I don't know.

It was amusing the first few weeks, but Kenjaku's had enough of it; deciding he might as well rip the bandaid off.

"Why do you pretend, Jin?"

"Pretend what?"

Kenjaku huffed, humans could be so interesting (and infuriating), sometimes. Jin may have been grieving, but he wasn't an idiot, and Kenjaku knew this. Sensed it in how cautious he'd been when they first met, though…that didn't stop him from playing around with what he could get away with. Yet, still, ever since 'Kaori' came back, the both of them had settled into an awkward domestic bliss which was…quite intriguing. Actually, that was a lie. Kenjaku very much enjoyed it. Jin was fun to prod and play around with; watching the mix of confusion, horror and sometimes arousal from the other was just…

It was so much fun.

Though, during the time they were together, nothing too intimate ever happened. They'd cuddle, hug, sleep in the same bed together, take baths together, and he'd never miss how tenderly the other would touch his scars when he thought he was asleep - a strange development in the past month - but nothing more than that. Hell, Jin never once even kissed him all this time, despite the curse's relentless flirting - which was NOT something Kenjaku enjoyed.

Clearly he knew something was off, and yet…

"Kaori?" The water stopped running, and Jin put the last of the dishes onto the drying rack, before going over to his late wife and wrapping his arms around him. "I'm not pretending anything, silly."

"You know something's wrong with me."

"…yes."

"And yet you still play make believe with me?"

"I do."

"…" Kenjaku sighed. "Care to tell me why?"

"I told you…" Jin's lips trail over Kenjaku's neck, not kissing but…definitely teasing.

Oh, this was new!

The curse couldn't help but the smile that formed on his lips. Jin's touch was sending delightful shivers throughout his body, and it made Kenjaku almost ecstatic that he was finally initiating something. His next words though, practically had a growing heat start to pool in between his legs.

"I'm not pretending."

"I don't know what you are…" Jin sighs, and Kenjaku doesn't realize how he chases the touch of the other's lips on his neck; too drunk on the way his body was feeling. "And I've decided I don't care. You brought Kaori back to me…even if she's not…you're not…"

"You still brought her back, in some way." Kenjaku feels Jin's grip on him tighten, most probably out of frustration, but he enjoys it regardless. "And if you want to play good little housewife, I can give you that."

"You're an interesting one, Jin." Kenjaku laughs. "I think…think I'll keep you."

"Say, your name…your real name…what is it?"

"Ken…K-Kenjaku. I've-I-I've heard, ah…" Shit, he was stuttering. Kenjaku smirks, feeling a pleasant dizziness but takes a deep and shaky breath to recompose himself. "H-heard you arguing with your old man, you know…a-about a child. Did you want one?"

Jin's breath hitches. "Yes…with her. It was a shared dream of ours…"

"I-I can still do that for you."

Jin is silent for a while, thinking. He could still have a child with her…oh, but who was he kidding? No, no. This woman in front of him wasn't just her, was it? Jin's grip on Kenjaku loosens just a little. Just so he can look at the other - this…this thing wearing the corpse of his wife - properly. Jin smiles softly at the realization that…perhaps, he really was going insane.

Because it wasn't just about Kaori, anymore.

"Do you want one? Hm?" Jin's eyes pierce through Kenjaku, even though his smile is kind. The curse is caught completely off-guard by the intensity of his gaze, and it makes the heat pooling in between his legs only grow more. The pink haired man tilts his head, finding his lips and Kenjaku swears he stopped breathing for a good minute as Jin continued to gently kiss him. A strangled noise escapes Kenjaku's throat when he feels Jin's tongue slowly lap at his bottom lip. "With me?"

"I-I…" For the first time in a while, Kenjaku is speechless. He simply laughs, before kissing the other back. Shit, he didn't realize how ecstatic he'd been until he was feverishly exploring Jin's mouth with his tongue.

Before the both of them know it, they're naked in their shared bed, Jin passionately lapping at his wife's dripping folds. Kenjaku can't help the noises that come out of his mouth. "Y-yes! God, ye-"

A hand harshly grabs at his throat and squeezes hard. The curse sees Jin glare at him from between his legs, and it makes his cunt throb even more. "Be quiet. You'll get your turn."

Kenjaku can only whimper and whine when Jin continues to feverishly lick and taste him, dragging his tongue up from his folds up to his clit and occasionally sucking on the sensitive nub eagerly. The curse gasps for air when Jin releases his grip, dizzy and ecstatic, before whining when Jin inserts a finger. Another easily slips in, shortly after.

"I'm so happy…your body still remembers me, Kaori." Jin laughs quietly, and Kenjaku is chokes on a sob when Jin curls his fingers - fucking that wonderful spot inside him while scissoring him open. The pink haired man smiles softly as he glances at the curse above him, the look going completely unnoticed by said curse who was lost to the pleasure. Jin closes his eyes and begins to suck on his clit, fucking the curse with his mouth and fingers.

"A-aah, fuck-Jin!" Kenjaku practically mewls as he bucks his hips, gripping onto Jin's hair and grinding himself on his tongue and fingers. It only takes a few more moments until Kenjaku finds himself coming undone, entire body shaking as Jin rides him through his orgasm.

Kenjaku feels strangely empty, though not unsatisfied, when Jin pulls his fingers out, giving his clit one last tender kiss before getting up. It takes several breaths before the curse can speak again. "I-I…what abo-"

His words die in his throat when Jin hooks the other's legs around his hips, caging Kenjaku underneath him. The curse can feel Jin's cock, deliciously hard and leaking against his cunt, and what the other says next has Kenjaku's legs go weak.

"Your turn now, Kenjaku."

Jin says into his ear, low and hungry, but then stays silent and still for a while. The curse can tell he's thinking of something, and he can't help but feel intrigued. His arms find their way around his shoulders, not realizing how tenderly he strokes the others back.

"Tell me what's on your mind, Ji-…n…" Kenjaku's words die in his throat when he meets Jin's eyes. They're hungry, and it makes his cunt ache again. Only...he wasn't looking at his wife's eyes, he was looking somewhere a little higher.

"Stitches. Off."

His eyes go wide. "What?"

"It's where you are, isn't it? And I told you, it's your turn." Kenjaku goes still for a while, shocked, but then just starts giggling; giddy and elated. "You know…normal people can't see my kind. U-us curses, we're-"

"Take them off, Kenjaku."

Kenjaku smiles, and wordlessly does as he's told. Fluids leak from his head as he parts the cut to reveal the light pink flesh underneath. Jin finally sees the curse for the first time in months. The curse doesn't miss how soft his eyes become, and watches as he carefully traces his thumb over the curse's mouth. "There you are…"

"Ah, my bad. So I correct about you lot…"

Jin sinks himself into the other's cunt, hissing at how hard Kenjaku's walls suck him in - though with how wet the other was it was easier than expected to slip inside. The curse nearly comes undone again, then and there. He's never felt this full, before and it felt incredible. Jin's lips meet the curse's actual mouth and has Kenjaku drooling and whimpering underneath the pink haired man, overwhelmed as Jin's tongue explores him completely. When he pulls away from the kiss, Kenjaku starts laughing, and Jin gives him a worried look. "Are you…are you alright?"

"G-god, you're insane, Jin Itadori…"

Jin huffs, smiling softly but not denying it. "I'm gonna move now, okay?"

Jin starts slow, but his cock deliciously drags against every part of the curse's cunt. The pink haired man smirks, feeling Kenjaku's nails leaving dents on his back as he holds onto him. "A-aah…f-fuck, I…"

Jin laughs softly. "Is this your first time?"

"A-as a woman, yes…" Kenjaku can't stop his legs from trembling as they wrap tightly around Jin. "I've…c-courted many in all my bodies as a man, but this is…I-I've never…"

"I'll take that as a compliment, then, but…let me make it better for you." Jin huffs. He didn't miss the implications of…of body hopping that this monster was capable of, but…well, he didn't particularly care at this point. He puts two of his fingers in his wife's mouth. "Be good and suck on this for me, yeah?"

The mischievous look in his eye doesn't go unnoticed by the curse, but Kenjaku simply does as he's told. Jin rewards him with a kiss on his real mouth and adjusts him a little, before thrusting with a steady and brutal pace and making the curse see stars. Despite his whining, Kenjaku's cunt sucks his cock in hungrily as he's brutally fucked by the other.

The nails that rake against Jin's back and arms break the skin and only serve to spur him on. Kenjaku sobs when Jin pulls away from the kiss and removes his fingers from his mouth. The curse greedily sucks and marks the other's neck using his wife's mouth, all while begging him with his actual one. "Ngh! God, d-don't stop! Fuck, p-please, Jin-!!"

"C'mon, louder. Let me hear you."

"Y-yes, oh god, Jin-!!!"

Jin's hips still and he groans as he fills Kenjaku. He takes a few breaths before slowly starting to move again; fucking his cum deeper into the curse. The feeling of so much of it inside him has Kenjaku seeing stars, but what sends him into another orgasm was the realization that Jin was going to get him pregnant at this rate.

He was actually going to carry this man's child.

"O-ooh, fuuuck…" Kenjaku's body tenses, cunt squeezing him deliciously hard that it has Jin hissing again. He notices Kenjaku breathing deeply, his body twitching and limp, and gives him an apologetic smile. His hand gently strokes the pink flesh of the curse.

"You okay?"

"D-don't. Stop." Kenjaku manages to say in between breaths. Jin laughs softly, kissing him tenderly on his mouth and making the curse dizzy with delight.

"If you say so." Jin smirks, before hooking Kenjaku's legs over his shoulders. The curse screams something in a dialect Jin can't understand, but was clearly some kind of Japanese, when the human somehow reaches even deeper into him; tip kissing the entrance to his womb with every thrust and shaft deliciously rubbing against a spot inside him that has Kenjaku nearly blacking out. Jin was reaching every part of him, the deepest parts of him, and it was incredible. The human forces his tongue inside Kenjaku's mouth, and the curse's eyes roll back - body completely tense and overwhelmed - when Jin begins rubbing on his sensitive clit. This was all so much.

Kenjaku was going to lose his mind at this rate…

Not that he was complaining, though.

Jin's pace picks up, and Kenjaku feels him twitching inside. It doesn't take long until Jin spills inside him with a few messy thrusts, the curse mewling when he feels him spill right on his cervix. Though Jin doesn't stop rubbing on his clit, and this has the curse squirting his own fluids and making a mess of both their legs shortly after. Kenjaku whimpers when Jin flips him on his stomach, though doesn't make a move to stop him at all, Jin's hand finding its way around his neck once more. Bringing him close to his face, the curse's back arching beautifully underneath the human.

"A-ah, Jin…please, I want-" Kenjaku is cut off by Jin's lips on his mouth, sucking and kissing him tenderly.

"Shhh, shhh…I know, baby." Jin pulls out nice and slow, leaving just the tip before harshly thrusting it back in. "You like that, yeah?"

"Ngh…n-need...p-please!" Kenjaku's cunt is practically leaking with how wet he was. Jin fucks him slow and brutal, cock dragging along every part of his insides before being slammed back in.

"Thaat's it…good." Jin huffs into his ear, licking and biting his neck before pulling away. Kenjaku feels his heat leave his back as Jin repositions himself, placing his hands on Kenjaku's hips as the curse's head rests on the bed. "M'gonna move a bit faster now, yeah?"

Kenjaku just nods frantically and his moans turn into screams when Jin ruts into him like an animal in heat. The curse screaming in that dialect that Jin can't understand. Kenjaku's eyes roll back, mind going blank as his cunt greedily sucks and squeezes Jin's cock with every thrust. They both lose count of how many orgasms and hours go by, as Jin ruthlessly makes love to Kenjaku and his wife, with all the pent up feelings he has for them both.

All Kenjaku knew was that his mind was going blank. His legs felt like literal jelly and it's as if his body was being torn apart. He's never felt this close to breaking without actually dying before.

It was incredible.

"A-aaah, you're doing so fucking good, Kenjaku. Cum for me one more time, yeah?" Jin bites his lip, Kenjaku can feel him twitching and throbbing inside him again. "Almost there, baby. I'm so close…"

Kenjaku smiles, nearly delirious with pleasure, as the thought of carrying this man's children sends him over the edge, again. His legs trembling as he spills even more of his fluids onto the bed. "J-Jin, o-oh fuuck-!"

With one last, hard thrust, Jin stills inside him again - cock fully sheathed and throbbing as he gives Kenjaku another thick load. His cunt milks him deliciously, but he feels Jin filling him beyond what he can take - hot streams of cum dripping down his thighs. Kenjaku's almost sad that so much is going to waste.

Jin groans and nearly pulls out but Kenjaku quickly grabs his wrist.

"S-stay. Stay inside me…" Kenjaku barely manages to say, completely fucked out of his mind. Jin looks at him softly, carefully moving him without pulling out, so the both of them can lie down in a more comfortable position.

For a long while, their breathing was the only sound there was.

"Th-that was…" Kenjaku finally breaks the silence, but is unable to continue his sentence.

"Good?" Jin gently kisses the curse on the mouth, again.

"Nearly the best I've had in a while…" Kenjaku gulps, and looks at Jin cautiously - dare Jin say he almost looked nervous. "Th-the world I'm in…it isn't known for being the nicest, you know. You should leave me, while you can. It's safer for you. Curses, we aren-"

"No." Jin huffs. "I am not. Leaving you."

Kenjaku is silent for a while. "Why?"

"You brought Kaori back to me, in some way, even if she isn't…I mean, you aren't…" He gently strokes the curse and sighs. "But I'm not staying for just Kaori…you understand that, right?"

"I…I see." Kenjaku can't help the way his stomach flutters, or the warmth that blooms in his chest upon hearing that. It was irrational, and yet...

Jin takes a deep breath. He knew staying with the other was practically a death sentence for him. However, if he was to be honest with himself...he didn't really care anymore. Only...he worried for his child. "Just…look, I know I won't last long with you. So please promise me something. Promise me you'll continue to watch over my child even if I'm gone."

"And if I don't?"

Jin rolls his eyes, knowing the other was just messing with him. "Then I'll haunt you for the rest of your life."

"All the better to break it, then." Kenjaku laughs softly, and decides - for once in his life - to do something stupid for reasons outside his plan. Jin makes a confused look as he feels something almost constricting him, but then Kenjaku plants his mouth on Jin's and seals that silent vow with a kiss. The feeling is gone as soon as it came. "But…you have my word, Itadori Jin."

WRITING THIS WAS WOWZERS MAN. 😬Also, "watching over" isn't necessarily the same as "taking care of". But, anyways, if you like my work, consider donating! Edit: WTF WHY DOES THIS HAVE 75 NOTES??? NOBODY LOOK AT THIS WHAT

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Has Meghan ever been invited to the Met Gala that you know of?

I have a feeling that she and Harry can’t actually afford a ticket - plus she is very greedy and cheap, so even if they hypothetically had the money I just can’t see her willingly parting with such a large amount. What I can envision though, is her mercilessly pestering the absolute hell out of Anna Wintour since she is completely shameless and has zero manners or class - and always expects someone else to pick up the tab for her sponging arse. I would be completely mortified if I had a reputation of being a known cheapskate and grifter like her.

But, back to my original point: knowing how petty and childish she is, it must infuriate Meg immensely that people who also dress like crap *cough* *cough* Serena - and also Mindy Kaling or any of her other so-called ‘friends’ get invited while she is repeatedly shunned year after year. One thing about Meghan is that she absolutely lives for this kind of superficial and glib BS and I would think she is very offended that she’s persona non grata in such elitist circles. TBH, I would only want her to be invited exactly once because of the potential gossip that would come out about her, otherwise she’s undeserving. I’m sure she would give nothing and wear boring beige like nearly everyone did last night. Initially I was excited for the theme, but most of the outfits were quite underwhelming and fell flat, unfortunately!

Meghan has an open invitation to attend as long as she attends with Kate, and only Kate. This is straight from the mouth of Anna Wintour.

Allegedly Meghan was invited as Edward Enniful's guest in either 2018 or 2019. We talked about it here a few months ago but I can't find that post. C'mon, Tumblr! Get your act together.

But to recap: The national editors of Vogue get tickets to the Met Gala as a perk for working at Vogue. Enniful got some tickets and allegedly, he planned to take Meghan as his +1. Ultimately it didn't happen and the speculation why includes Meghan pissing off Anna in her usual entitled way so Anna struck her from the guest list, Enniful gave Meghan the UK Vogue cover as a consolation prize, and Meghan having Archie on May 6th in an attempt to steal headlines from Anna and the gala as revenge.

I also covered in that now-missing post how one attends the Met Gala. You can:

Be the +1 of someone who gets invited (e.g., Andy Cohen, who is usually Sarah Jessica Parker's guest).

Work for the sponsors, including Vogue, or be the +1 of someone who works for the sponsors.

Work for the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Be a huge donor to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and/or the Fashion/Costume Insitute (e.g. Sarah Jessica Parker, I believe).

Be besties with or have a contract with the designers that attend the Met Gala (e.g., Meg Ryan and Michael Kors). In this case, the designer will dress you and you'll sit at their table.

Buy your own ticket. An individual ticket is $75,000. A table starts at $350,000.

Be an "it celeb" of the moment.

Meghan and Harry definitely don't have the money for a ticket to the Met Gala. Meghan also doesn't have the fashion contacts or the reputation in the fashion industry to be dressed by a designer. She could probably have been dressed by Carolina Herrera back in the day, when she was wearing her. I don't think she had a chance to be dressed by Dior to attend the Met Gala, not when people like Jennifer Lawrence, Anya Taylor-Joy, Rihanna, etc. have Dior contracts.

My personal theory is that as much as Meghan wants to go to the Met Gala and be in the room with all those celebs, she doesn't *really* want to actually be there. I think she's terrified to be around that kind of powerful, respected, talented people because she knows they know she's not one of them and they'll ignore her, making her the one to go up to everyone when she wants everyone to be coming up to her. I said this around Oscars time when we were talking about whether she'd go or not and again, I can't find the freaking post!.

But it is very telling, isn't it? Like you've pointed out, everyone in Meghan's circle these days - Mindy Kaling, Serena Williams, Kris Jenner, Tracee Ellis Ross, etc. - is going to the Met Gala. Everyone but her, that is. I wonder why...

[ellieluvr420]

We meet again, darling pt.5 (detective Abby Anderson x criminal reader)

Synopsis: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

Abby sat at her desk going through paperwork, she had always been bad at letting it pile up and she had got even worse since getting entangled with you. She would try and focus on the words on the page in front of her but her mind would so easily wander back to you. Today was no different, if anything it was worse, all she could think about was your hands and lips on her, how you tasted on her tongue, your moans and your beautiful eyes that made her feel like she was made of glass.

After her stunt this morning you had stormed out of her apartment not before reminding her of dinner and her task for today. You threw a picture of Marlow down on the dining table so she would know what he looked like and you were gone with a slam of the door. Abby realised she was being a little optimistic to think you would stay for breakfast but she still felt a little dejected at your swift exit.

Her mind was snapped back to reality as she heard a door slam and saw Officer Williams walking up to her.

"That guy is fucking infuriating. Cannot get a word out of him. He's either been promised a big reward for his silence or whoever he works for is terrifying. I mean he's looking at serious time and fucking nothing."

Williams is standing over Abby's desk seething at her interview with Marlow and Abby is having to stop herself from laughing at the other woman's rage. Abby and Williams had never been friends but they preferred to speak to each other than the other detectives, no matter how many times they proved themselves the other men in their unit still treated them as inferior and they eventually got sick of it and stuck with each other.

"Who's that guy you're interviewing again?"

"He's the guy we brought in the other night, think he's connected to that gang we know fuck all about. God we know they're a thing but we can't find anything to actually nail them."

Abby feels herself smile at the thought of you, she shouldn't be impressed, you do bad things but she can't help her amazement at the way you run your business.

"What are you smiling about?" Williams is standing with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised as she watches Abby zone out.

"Nothing, just imagining you getting completely ignored by that guy."

"Very funny. You're a dick. I thought once we got that informant we might have a chance to actually take this gang down but it looks like the informant is the only fucking person in the gang willing to talk."

"How'd you find the informant?"

"We arrested him, we weren't even looking for him, we were following up on a case from a couple of months ago and we caught him moving fuck tons of coke. He agreed to start giving names for a more lenient sentence."

"Right, how long has he been giving you names?"

"Couple months now, all of his names turned up shit for awhile but he's actually been useful recently."

"What so he's still on the streets?"

"Yeah, needed him still in the action to be able to give us up to date information. We keep trying to get him to give information on the boss but that guy must be rough because our guy doesn't want to give any information on him."

Abby feels the smile creeping onto her lips again but she forces it away this time.

"Are you sure he just doesn't know anything about who runs it?"

"He's got to, from what we can gather he's pretty high up."

Abby's stomach drops as she realises how right you were about the severity of the situation, she finds herself feeling glad that you are basically non existent within the records of the group as she realises how much of a risk this guy poses.

"Well if you want I can fill out that paperwork for you. I'm already catching up on all of mine. What's one more?" Abby realises this could look suspicious and panics as Williams looks down at her with a questioning look.

"Since when did you want to do me any favours?"

"Since I know you just got made to look like a fool in that interview." Williams nods her head and chuckles.

"Yeah, okay, thanks Anderson." As Williams hands the report to Abby her heart jumps a little at the thought of you being happy with her for finding out the informants name.

"Yeah no worries, I'll come find you when its done."

Abby opens the file as if she's handling a bomb and skims through all the information until she sees Ellie's scribbly writing detailing the information given by the informant. Then she sees the name 'Luke Whittaker'.

"Bingo." She whisper to herself and grabs a post-it from the pile by her computer. She writes the name down and tucks the post-it in her pocket and goes back to the report. She was so wrapped up in her excitement over pleasing you she didn't notice Ellie watching her from the printer in the corner of the room with narrowed eyes and a scowl.

Once Abby had finished the paperwork for Ellie she started looking for her.

"Hey, you seen Williams?"

"Think she's giving another stab at getting that guy to talk."

"Okay, thanks."

Abby walks to the interview room and goes into the room behind the two-way mirror. She stands and watches as Ellie gets more and more frustrated at the man's responses.

"Who do you work for?"

"Eat shit."

As she sees Ellie storm out the room she exits hers and they almost walk into each other with the way Ellie is storming out of there.

"Oh hey sorry, here's that report."

"Were you watching me?"

"Only for a second, wanted to see if you'd be long, would've just left the report on your desk."

"Right, okay. Well thanks for doing that." She doesn't look at Abby, just starts flicking through the report and walking away.

Abby thinks nothing of it as Ellie often came across as blunt, she walks back to her desk and grabs her things to head out for the day, as she's about to leave Ellie walks up to her again.

"Where you off to?"

"Home, going to dinner tonight so gotta scrub up nice."

"Dinner? With who?"

"It's a date, first time meeting her. Wish me luck."

Abby walks out the door before Ellie can stop her again and rushes home with only you on her mind.

As Abby exits the building she pulls her phone out of her pocket and clicks on your number. You answer in 2 rings.

"Are you about to make me happy?"

"Very. I got a name." She pulls the post-it out of her pocket. "Luke Whittaker."

"Luke?! Of course it's fucking Luke, I knew he was too much of a pussy but his dad has been with us for a long time, kept him in check, he died about a year ago so the timing doesn't surprise me." You seem like you're talking to yourself at this point. "Thanks Abby, you have made me a very happy woman. I'll see you at 8." You hang up and Abby realises she's smiling at your words. Her mind is so occupied with you she doesn't notice Ellie's presence following behind her. As she walks away Ellie stays frozen in her spot until Abby can't be seen anymore.

"What the fuck are you up to Anderson?"

psa: hello againnnn, had to bring my wife into it, just had to sorry. Shit is gonna hit the fan. I have so many ideas for drama, writing this instead of studying for exams is my fav thing to do right now. Sorry if this felt like a filler chapter but this and the next chapter are important for the plot development. I hope you are enjoying the story as well as the relationship between Abby and reader (you).