#I thought of this at school in like 1.5 hours

[munsons-melody]

sick day

summary: eddie cuts class to come help you get over your cold

pairing: eddie munson x female!reader

cw: none + established relationship

word count: 1.5 k

a/n: i thought this was a v cute concept

masterslist

i do not consent to having any of my works republished, translated, or posted to any other site except here. if you see my works anywhere but tumblr, it has been republished without my knowledge, consent, or permission.

—

you were undeniably, undoubtedly sick.

what started out as a sniffle from the day before turned into a full-blown-out nasty cold. you could only blame the weather for the illness.

it was a gloomy tuesday morning, and upon hearing your groggy voice and horrific cough in the morning, your mother sent you straight back to bed and called the school to tell them you weren't coming in.

you ended up falling back asleep for a handful of hours, trying to avoid the torture of being awake with a headache, a sore throat, and uncontrollable coughing. however you were soon woken up by your phone ringing.

"hello?" you sleepily croaked out, your voice hoarse from the amount of coughing you had succumbed to

"hey y/n, why aren't you in class?" you heard eddie ask, the sounds of people talking behind him. he was using the school phone to call you.

"i'm dying," you told him, sniffling a little bit. "what?" he asked in confusion

"i got the worst cold ever and i'm dying" you said again, feeling a cough coming on

"oh shit, how are you feeling?" he asked and you rolled your eyes

"actually I'm doing great thanks," you responded sarcastically

"sorry, that was a stupid question" he said. you heard the bell ring in the background and some shuffling noises

"i gotta go babe but i love you, feel better" he told you, making you smile. "i love you too" you said as you heard a click and the dial tone ring out.

you coughed a couple more times, causing your throat to burn with pain. you groggily pushed yourself up from your laying position and sat on the edge of your bed

you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and your looks had mirrored how you felt; like shit

your nose was bright pink from the countless times you had to blow your nose, cheeks were flushed, hair was in the messiest braid ever, your dark circles engulfed your eyes from the lack of sleep you got the previous night. you were wearing a giant shirt with garfield on it, some baggy pj pants, and you knew if anyone were to see how you did now, they would be disgusted

you went and used the bathroom, then went to the kitchen to search for something to eat that wouldn't make you more nauseous but failed to do so 

the house was quiet, the only thing you could really hear was the birds chirping and cars passing outside. you stood there, enjoying the silence, sipping on your water

you headed back to your room in attempts to fall asleep again, but after tossing and turning for a good 10 minutes, you sat up with a huff

just as you resigned yourself to the rest of the day filled with solitude and sniffles, a knock echoed through the house. startled, you slowly made your way to the front door, your stuffy nose adding an extra layer of annoyance to your condition.

you looked through the peephole to see eddie standing there with a large brown bag in hand. he looked so good wearing his black sabbath t shirt and ripped black jeans, his white reeboks giving a pop of white.

you slowly opened the door, only leaving a little bit of it open to avoid him from fully seeing you. it’s not like you always wore tons of makeup, just enough to boost your confidence, and eddie had seen you completely without makeup only a handful of times, but you didn’t want him to see the horrific sight which was you with the worst cold

"eddie, what are you doing here?" you asked with a raspy voice

eddie flashed his trademark grin, holding up the bag in his hand. "since you're sick, i thought i could be of some assistance. i brought you some homemade chicken soup. wayne swears on it" he said sweetly

"thank you baby that's so sweet," you said with a smile, before furrowing your brows

“wait where did you get homemade chicken soup?” you asked and he blinked

“oh well technically it’s campbells… but it works just the same, i swear, scouts honor” he smiled, lifting three fingers

he started to walk in but you shut the door more

"i don't want to get you sick" you told him and he shook his head 

"i have the immune system of an ostrich!" he declared and you let out a giggle which turned into a nasty cough 

"oh baby," he said sympathetically, standing up the next stair to the doorway 

"c'mon let me take care of you please, just until your parents get home?" he asked with the sweetest tone

"eds i have to be honest, i look absolutely disgusting right now, i don't want you seeing me like this" your voice faded into a whisper

"y/n, i can promise you that nothing you do or have will make me less attracted to you, i love you in every conceivable way now can i please just come in and heat your soup up for you?” he begged, giving you puppy dog eyes

you slowly opened the door, revealing your sick state to eddie and he smiled, walking in to your house and immediately giving you a kiss on the forehead

“jesus you’re burning up” he said taken aback and you rolled your eyes

“no shit sherlock” you huffed as he walked into your kitchen

“well i guess the first symptom of this cold is hate” he joked with a smile and you shook your head at him, shutting the door

“so how come you were able to come here in the middle of the school day?” you questioned, leaning against the kitchen counter as he poured your soup from the can into a pot

“i just went to the nurses and told them i was feeling sick and apparently there’s something going around the school so they believed me and sent me home” eddie shrugged, turning up the heat on the stove

“so that’s what i got” you said, crossing your arms

“maybe” eddie said, eyes staying on the soup to make sure it didn’t boil over

“wait what did you mean you have the immune system of an ostrich?” you asked, realizing what he said earlier

“yeah they have one of the best immune systems, it’s a fact” he said nonchalantly and you laughed

“and how do you know what?” you asked as he turned off the stove

“well when i was growing up, wayne had the day shift and after school i’d go to the library to read before he’d come and pick me up, i learned it from some nature book” eddie smiled, and handed you the steaming hot bowl of soup

“thank you” you said, your stomach suddenly making countless noises and rumbling, since you hadn’t ate anything all day

you sat at your kitchen table and ate your soup, and eddie munched on a couple saltines you had from your cupboard

“yeah and luckily i had a test i didn’t study for at all for 7th period so i get more time to study” eddie said and you nodded, not really caring in that moment if you secretly knew you had to help him study because you were so hungry, the soup vanishing in front of you

“mhm” you mutter out, finishing the rest of the soup and chugging some water

“feel better?” eddie asked and you nodded. honestly you did. now that your stomach had shut up and power of chicken noddle soup was finally coming to fruition, you felt the tiredness loom back over you

you yawned and stretched your arms out and eddie could see the sudden drop in the little bit of energy you had earlier

“now back to bed young lady” he said in a not so stern voice and you listened, getting up with your bowl in hand and placing it in the sink

eddie followed you into your room and shut the door. you put some of the tissues that were discarded on the floor and put them in the trash, and then instantly cuddled into your sheets, pulling them around you

eddie took off his jacket and shoes, walking over to the other side of the bed

“ed’s what are you doing? i told you i don’t want you to get sick” you said, and he just smiled, taking off his pants and then crawling into the empty space next to you

“i don’t care sweetheart, all i care about is you feeling better and i know that you’ll sleep better with me here, it’s a fact” he said, pulling you in close

“oh really? did you learn that in your nature book as well?” you asked with a slight laugh and he kissed your head

“no, i just know you that well” he said, letting you lean your head against him

you felt the sleepiness wash over you like a wave on a beach, and you just let your eyes close, feeling eddie’s chest move against your back

you were a little jealous he could breathe through his nose without the annoyance of it being stuffy but you didn’t care because he was right, you do sleep better with him near

fin.

[xanadontit]

College Chronicles

Since the deadline to make a decision is nigh, my brother is finally actually touring of some of the schools he's been accepted to.

San Jose State (SJSU) is the current front runner. He needs to get a 3 on the AP Calculus exam to be officially in, although the admissions counselor said there was a work-around there if he didn't. I think it's a test they administer through the university? One of his best friends has also committed to SJSU and said if my brother goes he'd like to room with him. My dad is being a total jackass about this. "It's too close to home." OK? Then you shouldn't have allowed him to apply there! And seriously? We're going to punish the kid because he happened to grow up in an area where there are a ton of great opportunities because you've decided he "needs" to go far away? Shut up.

Chico State (CSCU) is out but my brother said if you could move the campus slightly closer to a city he'd definitely consider it seriously. Totally fair. It's a cute, affordable college town but Sacramento is 1.5 hours away on a good day. I'm glad he's weighing the schools and considering he has to live there.

Long Beach is old and rundown and felt depressing, according to him lol. Fullerton had a nice campus and people were smiling and seemed happy but he finds the 97% commuter aspect off-putting. He also liked the campus at Cal Poly Pomona and said the chemical engineering program sounds fantastic but it's basically Chico but further south (remote, not much going on in the area). But, he hasn't officially eliminated it.

SF State is also an option but is even closer to my parents' house than SJSU (my stepmom drives past it on her way to work most days) and so again, my dad is being a pill about it. My brother doesn't seem terribly excited about it, anyway, other than he knows the area and spends time in the city anyway so it's comfortable.

He hasn't visited Sonoma or Northridge. He turned down UC Santa Cruz's waitlist spot. At one point UC Davis was also in the mix (waitlisted) but he didn't love it when he visited and told me he had it at the top of his list because it's a UC and "everyone told me to be into it."

I told him if he wants to talk through his thoughts/concerns I'd be happy to help him make some pro/con lists or figure out his non-negotiables or just listen to him vent and he said he knows and loves me (omg) and he's going to sleep on it and talk to his girlfriend (who also got into SJSU and liked it, FYI) and he may call me to talk later. At this point I may offer to be there when he tells his parents his decision if for no other reason than to whip something at my dad's head if he expresses anything other than enthusiastic support.

@pelicanhypeman and I are pretty sure it's going to be SJSU. My dad thinks I support this because it's 10 minutes from my house and uhhhh... if the kid wanted to go to school in Japan I'd support him! What is there to be gained by shitting on his decision, especially if it's not an inherently harmful one? He'll pull away from us out of hurt, not out of finding independence. I don't want that kind of relationship with him.

Now I need to figure out what to get him as a graduation present (I still owe him a trip from 8ther grade graduation in 2020) and order the bullhorn for the ceremony.

[sgstories123]

Good Boy Zed

John looked at his watch. It was already past 2 am. The event was supposed to end at 11 pm but these corporate events sometimes can go on longer than expected. As general manager of the hotel, in such a scenario, he would have to get the client to end the event without getting them upset. It was a delicate task especially when most of the people would be drunk and irrational at this late stage of the event. But if he did not do this, the hotel would have to foot the additional cost including paying for all the temp workers who are waiting for the event to clean up.

It was not too bad today, he thought to himself. The person in charge was still sober and apologetic. He managed to end the event and obtained some additional compensation for the hotel. He looked around at the group of temporary workers who were now clearing up the room. All five of them looked young. They were most probably tertiary students working part-time during the vacation break. He recognised one of them, Zed, a young man studying hospitality in one of the private schools. He had chatted with him a couple of times as he had worked for the hotel as a part-timer for quite some time. He had expressed an interest to work in the hotel when he graduated.

But he was more interested in the girl next to him. She was petite, maybe about 1.5 metres tall. She had a innocent and cute face, with large eyes framed by thick, black lashes. She looked like a Japanese school girl. At that moment, the girl giggled at something that Zed was sharing. Zed parted her hair lovingly and the girl looked down in embarrassment. Gosh, John thought to himself. How nice to be young again.

At 50, John knew what it was to grow old. His paunch has been growing every year and he finds it more and more difficult to climb the flight of steps to his second-floor office in the hotel. He had also been taking Viagra for a couple of years as he could no longer perform.

The other three workers, two boys and a girl, seemed to be friendly with Zed as well. While they were working, they were talking and laughing with each other. John was pleased. He did not like it when the temp workers complain about the longer hours. He wanted to reward them for their hard work and positive attitude, knowing that at this time of the night, the additional compensation will not be sufficient for their cab fare home.

“Mr John, Sir! We are almost done. Can I get the keys from you to lock up the stores?” Zed asked.

“Sure.” John responded. “By the way, Zed. Are all of them your friends?”

“Yeah. We are in the same school. I introduced them to your hotel as temp workers.” Zed replied.

“Is that pretty girl your girlfriend? I saw you too behaving quite intimately.” John asked.

“Not really. I thought Nicole was quite chio so we talk a little bit more lor.” Zed laughed.

John was pleased to hear that. “Do you live far from here? Tell you what. I can get you a room for all of you and you can sleep there till morning. There is some wine left over from the event which the client did not want to take back. You can have it as well if you want.”

“Oh my God! Really! Thanks, Mr John, Sir! I will tell the rest.” Zed was clearly thrilled. John was happy that he managed to do something nice.

A short while later, John had led the five of them into a quad room with two queen-sized beds. They also brought up with them several bottles of wine and a small plate of sandwiches also leftovers from the event. John joined them as the group of them joked and ate a late supper. But John was not paying attention to the jokes. He was looking at Nicole at every opportunity. Now out other hotel uniform, Nicole looked even more like a school girl. She had on a white t-shirt and a short denim skirt with a cute, yellow flower at the side. Something a small girl will wear. John could feel his cock stirring.

By the time the food and wine was gone, the two girls were already too tired and were already resting on the beds.

“Looks like they are really tired. I will go back to my office so that you boys can take a rest too.” John said as he got up to leave the room.

Zed opened the door for him. At the door, Zed smiled at John. “Mr John. We actually planned to have an orgy after the event at one of the budget hotels tonight. But because you offered us such a nice hotel room plus free food and wine, it had turned out to be much better than what we plan. We have all agreed that you can join us. Do you want to?

“Erm…No lah…You enjoy yourself.” John was shocked.

“You sure, Mr John? I know you are interested in Nicole.” Zed said with a twinkle in the eye. “I won’t lie to you. You know I want to work for your hotel, right. So I asked her if she is okay with sleeping with you. I did cajole her a little and she finally agreed.”

John was more shocked than ever. “Let me think about it.”

“Alright, Mr John. You can join us if you change your mind.”

In his office, John was still thinking about Zed’s conversation interspersed with images of Nicole. Unable to focus any more on his work, he opened his drawer where he kept his Viagra and popped one into his mouth. He walked to the mini-bar in his office and washed the little blue pill with a good amount of whisky. He left the room quickly, hoping that the blue pill will work in time, his heart beating fast with expectation.

“Oh! Hi, Mr John! Joining us? You are just in time. We are just getting started.” Zed gushed as he opened the door for John. He saw that Zed was naked with a hard, erect cock. As he entered the room, he saw that the others were also naked. The two boys were lying side by side with the other girl, sucking on her breasts and taking turns fingering her. She was moaning softly. Zed was right. They must have just started.

Nicole was sitting up on the other bed. Zed must have been with her before he went to open the door. Seeing John, she blushed and pulled the blanket up to cover her breasts in a bid for modesty. That’s so cute, thought John. But he knew that he needed some time for the pill to work. He could feel his cock stirring but it was not hard yet.

“Come, Mr John. Nicole is waiting for you.” Zed was trying very hard to get into John’s good books.

“You go ahead first. Let me take a shower before joining you.” John demurred, as he slowly removed his clothes.

Zed did not need a second invitation. He climbed onto the bed and started kissing and hugging Nicole. He pulled her down, covering half her body with his own body as his fingers started exploring her love hole. Sighs of pleasure was emitting from Nicole.

John went into the bathroom and took a quick shower. He walked out of the bathroom, his cock still flaccid, the medication still not kicking in. As he watched the the group of young people engaging in sex, he started to stroke his cock, willing it to grow hard.

By now, the two guys were already fucking the other girl. One of them was behind fucking her doggy style while the other was at the front, receiving a blowjob.

John could feel his cock hardening. He turned to Nicole and saw that Zed has now lifted Nicole’s legs and licking her cunt. She seemed to be close to cumming as her moans were getting louder and her body was jerking upwards uncontrollably. Her hands were grabbing Zed’s hair as she tried to ride out her pleasure. John walked over and started sucking on her small, breasts. Nicole moaned loudly in pleasure as John’s tongue touched her sensitive nipples. With an upwards thrust and a scream, she squirted all over Zed.

“Mr John. I got Nicole all wet for you. No one has fucked her yet. I made sure you get the first fuck.” Zed was one hell of a bootlicker, thought John. He must get that boy a job.

John took over Zed’s place, spreading Nicole’s legs to enjoy the view. Nicole had shaved her pussy. It was so smooth, just like a school girl’s. He parted the lips, now wet with her juice before sliding his hard cock in. John just only managed to get the head of his cock in when Nicole screamed in pain, digging her nails into John’s arms as she grabbed him.

“Mr John. Go slow. Nicole told me she don’t have much experience with sex. She only had sex a few times with her boyfriend. You are the second guy she is having sex with.” Zed whispered urgently.

Almost a virgin. Almost too good to be true. John thought to himself. He pushed in slowly, letting Nicole adjust to his penis. It was so tight. Nicole must be telling the truth. After a while, he managed to get his while length in while Nicole was grimacing in pain. Zed must be encouraging her as John could see him whispering something to her and playing with her nipples to get her to continue. With Nicole seemingly adjusting to him, John started fucking her slowly. He removed his cock slowly before plunging in again. He went for longer strokes, slowly increasing his pace. Nicole was starting to moan in pleasure. He lifted her legs to his shoulders as he pumped deeper and deeper. Nicole responded by moaning louder and louder. Zed continued to play a supporting role, kissing Nicole and playing with her tits, to make her even more aroused.

“Let’s change position, Zed.” John commanded. He laid down on his back. “Get Nicole up on my cock in cowgirl position.” Zed obeyed and slowly helped the inexperienced Nicole to straddle John while guiding his cock into her. As she sat down onto John’s cock, she shivered in pleasure as the cock went straight up into her. John pulled her down and kissed her, hugging the small, petite body closely against his fat belly.

“Zed. You are a good boy. Your reward is to fuck Nicole from behind.” John commanded.

“Thanks Mr John.” Zed responded gaily. He took up a position before slowly pushing his cock into Nicole’s vagina, rubbing against John’s cock.

Nicole screamed in pain as she took in 2 cocks for the very first time. But it was soon smothered as one of the boys came over and shoved his cock into Nicole’s mouth. It took a while but Zed finally managed to get his whole length into Nicole. As he fucked Nicole, he rubbed against John’s cock. He was happy that he managed to get such an intimate connection with John.

The group continued with their orgy session until the sun rose and lit up the room. John had fucked Nicole several times with the other 3 boys each taking turns accompanying and supporting him. He did not manage to fuck the other girl although she did come over and gave him a kiss. As the session came to an end, the group got dressed and started to leave the room. John gave Nicole a final peck on the cheek before she left the room. Zed was the last to leave the room.

“Mr John, Sir. Did you enjoy yourself last night?” Zed asked.

“Yes, Zed. You are a good boy. I will make sure that you get a job with the hotel. You don’t have to worry.” John replied, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

“Can we fuck next time without Nicole?” Zed looked at John in the eye. John did not know what to say.

[mari-writes]

My thoughts on Haikyuu!! The Dumpster Battle

⚠️ Warning: Spoilers for the film (and portions of the manga) ahead!

Two days ago, I went to see Haikyuu: The Dumpster Battle. I've been a fan of this series since 2015, and I started the manga within a month of the anime. So going to this film was a huge deal for me. (The only other time I've experienced a HQ screening was at the 2018 Crunchyroll convention!) It was awesome being at the theater with fellow fans wearing jerseys of our favorite teams, all excited to see our boys on the big screen. 🥰❤️

I absolutely LOVED how the film began, showing us Kenma and Hinata's first meeting but in a different way than in season 1, with the cat and crow staring each other down, and Kuroo overhearing their conversation from nearby. It really set the mood, especially with the incredible score (honestly the soundtrack is one of my favorite aspects of the movie).

However, I was upset that they left out the backstory of Nekomata and Ukai Sr. These flashbacks are so important to give the rivalry context and depth. The fact that these two characters met in middle school, and then had this battle decades later as elders, was so impactful. Not showing the history of their relationship affected the film's emotional impact. In my opinion, THIS was the biggest flaw in the script.

While we're on the negatives: I do think the film relied a lot on prior knowledge of the story. Which is to be expected, it's basically the 5th season of a show, but I don't think even casual fans would be able to keep up with how many characters and plot points quickly came and went. I recall being perplexed at certain things they chose to keep in, some of which were fun, but not necessary and just muddled the viewing experience.

Also: the subtitles. I've always had a beef with how Crunchyroll does subs. Not the translators themselves (I LOVE YOU GUYS YOU'RE AMAZING) but how they place the text. It was hard to distinguish between the primary and secondary dialogue. They were often stacked onto each other, with the barest hint of italics to differentiate. Honestly, while some background dialogue was great, I would've rather gone without to avoid confusion.

There were some other weakness, like the pacing and important character moments they cut. Obviously, as a MASSIVE fan, I would want everything to be adapted fully and perfectly. But that was never going to happen with a 1.5 hour film. 🤷‍♀️ The screenwriters did a really impressive job considering what they were tasked with accomplishing. Major kudos to them!

Now, on to the things I loved about the movie:

The animation. Gods, the animation was fantastic, such a breath of fresh air after season 4. I could tell how much care the artists put into this project. Some scenes literally had me speechless, sitting there frozen with my mouth hanging open. The final rally was animated ENTIRELY in Kenma's POV. The music faded out; you could here his heavy breathing and the team calling to each other. It made you feel like you were on the court. I've never seen anything like it before.

I mentioned the score earlier, but special shout out to the musicians, composers, and everyone involved in the soundtrack. 👏 I literally had goosebumps multiple times. And having a track by SPYAIR playing during the end credits gave me so much fuzzy nostalgia!

The voice acting was amazing. Kenma's actor, Yuki Kaji, absolutely hit it out of the park. He's always been one of my faves from the cast, but he went above and beyond in this film. But everyone did, really. It was so important for me to see the Japanese version FIRST to hear this wonderful cast who I've been following for the past 9 years.

Kuroo Testsuro. Good lord, did I come out of the theater having fallen completely in love with Kuroo. 😍❤️ His character is just SO GOOD, full of passion and love for his friends and the sport itself. I think the movie really highlighted this. (And it made me so emotional, knowing where he ended up in the future!)

BOKUTO AND AKAASHI. Thank you, movie team for letting them have their cute little moments. Especially the one with Yachi. I love these two so much. I'm very scared that their biggest arc, aka the Mujinazaka match, won't be animated. But I'm so grateful we got them in this film.

The after credits scene. REMEMBER TO STAY AFTER THE FIRST CREDITS YOU GUYS! They included the hilarious exchange between Kuroo and Daishou after the match, which was a really fun way to end things. 😆 Mika's little "You ready?" to her silly snake boyfriend was perfect. It made me giggle.

Okay, those are my initial thoughts! If I see the film again I might update this. For now, let me just say I really enjoyed it overall and it was such a special experience seeing these beloved characters on the silver screen. I still mourn the loss of a 5th season, and I'm nervous about what will be cut from the final movie... but that's future Mari's problem... 😅

Thanks for reading! 💕

[koifishart]

I want to be Your Koi Fish

Warning: +18 content, criminal underworld, intercourse, strong language - and so on

Fanfiction based on: "Baki" by Itagaki Keisuke

>8<

True, he drank a little. True, he might look slightly wasted ... but he could see her angry face very clearly. It didn't cross his throat in their company that he was just ashamed to tell her, just as he stubbornly escaped from showing Kizaki's school report. He figured she wouldn't be pleased. As soon as she broke into his deputy's office, he finished his bourbon in a glass of ice and sat more comfortably on the couch, listening to the conversation. At the same time he wondered how to reward her concealment.

- Hanabi-sama is totally different than our Boss! - Ueda laughed. - Pushes on everyone and everything.

- The exams are coming up, it's normal for her. She always reacted that way. - Haga replied with a shrug. - She gets mad, throws "fuck", "crap", "bitch" or the like, right and left ... Such a type.

- How do you know each other? - Tanaka demanded.

- We went to the same school. She is a year younger, but the teachers forced her to teach me anyway. - He explained, running a hand through his jet-black hair. - Otherwise, I would not have passed lower high school! Thanks to this, I found out that she is terribly tidy and knowledgeable, especially in science. Honestly, until then I thought she was a nerd, won every math Olympiad she appeared at... but it turned out that the truth was different.

- What?- they heard a resonant voice.

He looked up above their heads. Was it so fast? She was talking about five hours! He looked sluggishly at the clock on the wall. No way! It's been 4.5. He watched her. He noticed black leather shorts tightening around her massive buttock, and a loose T-shirt with a knot near the zipper. She settled in surprisingly quickly, which shouldn't be weird. They allowed her to browse one of the most secret areas of the building. Only the contents of his fundoshi were more secret, which she already knew. She walked over to the bar counter, and it crossed his mind that he had never seen her drink alcohol. However, she needed to know something about it, because she quickly took out two specific bottles that he didn't know existed in his house.

- I mentioned the times when you helped me with my studies. - Haga replied.

- Well ... let's see if you remember anything. - she murmured, setting the glass on the table. - Pour 1.5 scoops of 40% vodka and 3/4 scoops of 40% coffee liqueur into a glass with ice.

- Ok.

- Focus, two-part question. How many percent is the resulting drink? After how many of these glasses will I drink dead, assuming I'm a statistical Asian with statistical tolerance to alcohol? - she asked, gently stirring the resulting liquid.

He wondered involuntarily. He must have drunk too much to know the answer. It took the friend a moment too, but finally he spoke with surprising enthusiasm.

- For 100ml it is 40%, so this glass is also 40%. And you would have to drink ten ...?

- Bingo! Bonus question for which you can drink. What is it?

- Black Russian... and thank you, I don't mix alcohol.

- Your loss ... - she laughed, hopping on the counter and sitting on it. - ... But I admit, quite the right approach.

She took a sip. No reaction, as if she mixed water with cola. Apparently even she hadn't digest it soberly.

- Hanabi-sama, this is your learning method? - Kizaki asked.

- Yes. I don't see the point in learning something that won't come in handy in life. I prefer to translate theories in a practical way. - she replied, taking the glass in both hands. - I'll do my best, just give us as much free time as possible, Kizaki-san.

- I have a bad feeling about this. - Hanayama muttered, sipping his bourbon.

In one gulp, she emptied the glass, put it on the table top, then jumped off it briskly and before he realized it, she sat on his lap. Perhaps for the first time he felt the warm perfume rising from her neck.

- More faith, Kaoru. - She smiled and kissed the scarred cheek. - When I'm done with you, you'll belch with the multiplication table, puke arithmetic, and shit trigonometry.

It sounded scary, and she kept her expression soft. He wondered for a long time what attracted him. He didn't have to anymore.

He woke up as if he hadn't slept at all, strangely enough, in his own bed. Expected that he fell asleep as sat on the leather couch in the living room. He rubbed face with his hand as sat on the mattress. Found his glasses and put them on the nose. Had just noticed her. She was sitting at his desk, in his chair, facing him, braiding her legs tucked in high-heeled shoes, translucent stockings fastened with buckles to strips of shiny material disappearing under a tight skirt, into which she pressed a bright shirt buttoned up to the neck. Looking at him, she slightly slipped the frames of her nerds - glasses. He knew with certainty that she had no vision defect.

- Did you sleep well? - she asked sweetly.

- So so... - he muttered.

- No more drinking for a while. It's time to catch up on a few topics. - she ordered, rising from chair, and he could have sworn he saw a piece of juicy red lingerie under her skirt. - Meanwhile, I invite you to breakfast.

She outdid herself. There was a mountain of plump pancakes on the table with a variety of toppings, from fruit to peanut butter, bean paste to maple syrup. He sat down next to her speechless, then began to eat. It's hard to talk about biting into a dish. It was so light and fluffy that it melted in your mouth instantly. He admitted it with difficulty, but even his mother couldn't do THIS. He sipped the green tea standing near his plate.

- No need, really... - he muttered, not looking at her. - That's what I got Kizaki for.

- Kizaki-san won't stand by you forever. We live in a world like this and not another, Kaoru. Death is the only certainty, the question remains how fast. - she announced firmly. - If he runs out, you WILL HAVE to fend for yourself.

- There will always be a way.

- Specially for you, I organized a three-week off from school. - she added, and he felt a note of impatience in her voice.

- It won't be wasted... - he said, placing his hand on her side and pressing lightly.

- You're making me use an argument I didn't want to make. - she grunted, turning to face him. - If you do not have enough courage to accept the offered help, my leg never set more here.

She surprised him. He looked at her wide-eyed, trying to figure out if it was true or a dirty trick. She kept a poker face. He decided to play a trick.

- Won't you miss me?

- Very. - she whispered at once. - More than you think.

He thought. She hit the nail on the head. This time he lacked the courage. He preferred to get things done on his own, and in this case, he would have liked to leave everything as it was. But she was right. Death was the surest thing in life, and the environment in which they rotated made it look closer to them than to others.

- Let it be ... I agree. - he sighed heavily.

Hanabi's methods seemed to work, though he wasn't sure how she did it. She immediately rejected the typical method for schools, as she puts it, "patting knowledge memory". For her, understanding was much more important, and whether he recited a formula from a textbook or said otherwise did not matter completely. What mattered was the sense of speech and the ability to apply. It turned out that he was quite teachable, and the alluring teacher did not spare him praise, especially at the end of the day. This was the part he liked best. She sat on the edge of the desk, wearing a different outfit every day, and after a few attempts he learned that there was something interesting underneath as well. It excited him. His brain had never been working at such dizzying speeds, not even on that night, when he decided from midnight to sit on a mountain of homework for the next day, and Kizaki cheered and supported him with all his might. Adrenaline was buzzing through his veins. Enough to gave the correct answer, or solve a number of tasks in mathematics, and took off one item of clothing. She did it with such solemnity that when he saw her in only underwear, this time in a delightfully blue one, composed of lace and several stripes, and a silver chain falling from neck to hips, he was almost sure he will not stand, and cums in his pants. She was left in spider-thin panties and fancy trinkets when she turned his chair over, beckoning him with her index finger, taking off her nerds-glasses. He tore off his shirt and pants with one stroke and put his glasses on the desk. Pulled her close and threw on the bed, covering her with his body. She surrendered to his kisses, he could feel goose bumps growing under his fingers, she did not resist the eagerly groping hands, but when he pulled the last piece of clothing off her, finally wanting to fulfill his desires, she stopped him by placing a shapely bare foot on his torso. He stopped in one second.

- Additional question, subject: biology. - she announced, assuming a professional face. - Is there a risk of conception ONLY during ejaculation?

- No. - he replied soberly.

- Then please respect my reluctance to get pregnant at this point. - she muttered like a kitten, puffing her lips and holding out a small bundle in his direction.

He respected not to wait any longer and out of the respect he had for her. Just overwhelmed by emotions, he didn't think. Somewhere deep down he said that if they had fallen in, he wouldn't have taken offense at all. He loved the inside of her body. It was warm, soft, pleasant, as if prepared especially for him. Not for a man at all. FOR HIM. He felt every unevenness, every twitch as he waited for this wonderfully entwining string of pleasure. The first time she showed up in his hotel room to kill him, he knew her pleasure might be his pleasure. The better it got, the more, consciously or not, she tightened her grip on the tense nature. Each time he discovered new spheres of ecstasy. This time they didn't last long. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He felt an astonishingly strong crush combined with a spasmodic, very melodic groan and incredibly exciting expression on her lovely face, which made him come swiftly and very intensely. He snuggled into her, trying to catch breath. She wrapped her arms gently around him, wet with exertion. He could think ahead and open the window.

- Tutoring with Haga looked similar? - he muttered in her ear.

- Of course not! - she laughed, throwing a pillow at him. - I had other methods for him ... my bear.

>>><<<

As they say, the right way is enough, and the way is for everyone. What pained her in education was that everything was based on brainless repetition and test-forging. She wanted to know something and saw that this approach works. Kaoru seemed to be edified as well, getting up in the morning clearly more joyful, not in the gallows mood as on the first day. Then it might have been a hangover, if not Hanayama didn't have a hangover. They were doing exceptionally well that day. Kaoru dug out a different one from the crowd of purple shirts, navy blue with bright patterns resembling embroidered flowers. He surprised her with more than that when the deputy boss entered the room.

- Sorry to bother you. I promised to give you the maximum amount of free time, but there are things I won't skip. - Kizaki announced. - You must show up at the club tonight, boss. Yajima stands up again.

- He's so confident this time he demands a show fight? - Hanayama muttered.

- Apparently, he has a business, he wants to push it through very strongly. I do not exclude duel. - the adviser explained. - As far as I know, he convened a slightly larger group.

Something told her that surname, was not exactly sure what. She must have heard this man was holding some of the biggest banks by the balls. Maybe that's why the Yakuza's income was the way it was. Someone was turning the tap on. It wasn't... it wasn't why she knew it. She thought. Pacification of the problem element could have a twofold effect. She wasn't going to interfere, especially if he didn't approve, but she liked having a plan up her sleeve. But it was hard to plan with such rudimentary information. On the one hand, he could get scared and withdraw, on the other hand, he could blackmail him with a worsening of the situation. And this "larger group" ...

- They will try to maneuver. - Hanayama assessed soberly, then looked at her seriously. - Hanabi, come with us.

- I fully support it. - added the deputy. - Experience Hanabi-sama might be useful to us.

- Are you sure? - she was surprised.

- Absolutely! - Kizaki ruled. - I think we'll even find something suitable ...

- Don't worry, Kizaki-san. - she answered quickly, holding him back with her hand.

She used a bit of spare time to find a suitable outfit for the occasion, still wondering why the name seemed so familiar to her. In the depths of her emergency bag, she found two more items that could be useful. As a precaution, she preferred to take them, even if they were only for a moment. In the evening, she slung a small backpack over her shoulder. The practicality of the garment above all else - it was elegant, surprisingly roomy, while keeping both hands free. She left Kaoru's room while Kaoru was ready, sitting on the leather couch in his usual white suit and purple shirt. Kizaki was standing next to him. He turned towards her, straightening the dark tie on the maroon shirt. She could see the muscles around his jaw twitch to keep it from falling. She chose a black, tight, mid-thigh dress, shoulderless, but with a low turtleneck, and long boots with rather high heels. She let her hair loose to fall elegantly on her back. There was a slight ruby smile on her fair face.

- Kizaki-san, please don't forget that I'm a professional. - Muttered coming up to them.

On the way to the club, she learned that she had to carefully observe everyone and select liars. It wasn't going to be easy, she guessed, but she was still bothered by the subject of the name Hanayama had mentioned in his right hand. Eventually, she searched for anything about him on the Blacknet* and froze at the sight of the photo she found. She knew this face. She had seen her several times in her life.

- Hanabi-sama?

- Is that him? - she asked, showing them the photo, and when they nodded, she switched off the page and put the phone away. - I made a few orders for him...

- Yajima knows you?! - Kizaki scared, then dumbfounded. - Wait ... what?

- Er ... sort of. True, I always got assignments from him in person, but he never saw my face. - she muttered, pulling a white fox mask with decorative red brushes on the sides from her backpack. - He knows my capabilities, or at least part of them. So maybe it would be good if he found out that Shiro Kitsune** is working with Hanayama?

- Who ...? - said the deputy in dismay.

- You think he's gonna get scared? - Kaoru asked.

- Well... as far as I know, I have quite a good reputation in the area and Yajima has a lot of contacts. If he let the rumor that I am with you, a few things could correct themselves. - she replied with a shrug. - Of course not said it would be ... but I think it's worth a try.

She looked at Kizaki. He nodded, though he didn't really know what for. She took a tiny box from her backpack in which she hid her lenses. She put them on carefully, and her eyes turned from light green to vivid yellow, cat. Putting on the mask, she caught the boss's surprised look. The car stopped in front of the club.

- Don't look at me like that! You didn't expect me to work as a ... ME? - she laughed a pearly, then lowered her fox snout over her nose. - I wouldn't have had a life in school.

- I don't remember you having yellow eyes at the hotel back then.

- In the hotel...? - Kizaki interjected confusedly. - About what...

- Because I didn't. - she replied completely honestly. - Feel honored.

She hid all her fears deep in her pocket. She had a plan frame, but if nothing came out, she had to improvise. As usual. She felt a pleasant thrill of excitement. They arrived perfectly on time, but the condition of the people in the box meant that they must have been a little late after all. They were only waiting for them. She was going to stand behind his back like everyone else except Kizaki sitting to his right, but he had a different plan. He took advantage of the fact that he had her hands near him, took one of them and pulled it towards him so that she sat sideways in his lap. How lucky it was that the mask partially covered the cheeks. Nobody saw the luscious blush on the face. Especially since a moment later she felt warm, heavy hands on her thighs. She thought they would introduce her as a mercenary, if only for a trick, and he had confessed to her openly. Amazing, he could be sweet and mysterious at the same time. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his people kept their stone faces. Even Tanaka didn't blink, and from him she could expect the most idiotic face of this century. Well, what came out of the set was the improvisation. She caught Yajima's gaze in front of her.

- Shiro Kitsune-san... I didn't expect that we will meet again.- the man muttered.

- Each other. - she replied dryly.

- Since when do some of the best paid murderers of recent years join the yakuza? - he sneered ironically. - How much will they pay you to kill? I will give more.

- I get the impression that my career was not the subject of the meeting, is it? - she said firmly, without glare at him. - Besides, you don't have that kind of money.

Out of the corner of her eye, she glanced at Kizaki. He didn't express it in facial expressions, but she could almost hear her heart racing. He did not know. The case was closed, to her great secret approval. She listened carefully to everyone, trying to find out who was lying. It was not easy, they played their roles very well. She listened, pondered, compared ... It came to a point that she herself began to wonder if she was cheating someone, even though she did not say a word. Or maybe ... earlier? She had to figure it out. She twisted to go out for a moment and think things over in turn. How many were there? Five? Of course more, but in fact, apart from Kaoru, there were only five of them in charge. Anyone could lie, and anyone could tell the truth. She almost forgot what the topic of conversation was. As the entire triad hasn't spun the best lately, voices have arisen to restore prostitution and the sale of pornography to their territories. She remembered her father starting with that. Japan remained very conservative, treating erotic films as an additional pillar of art, and the demand was for extremely sharp and confusingly similar to the real, bed scenes. This is exactly what America delivered, so her father, sniffing around for business and willing people on the black market, did not hesitate to start contacts. As soon as he had made money, he put this part of the smuggling aside, claiming that he did not want to get his hands dirty, he had enough of it. In fact, she was also drying his head about whether he would like someone to take her to a film like this - after all, since her father trades ... In fact, she never asked what Kaoru thought about prostitution, but she hadn't noticed anything happening in his area. He might as well have dumped the case deep underground so that the police wouldn't scent him. She looked into the bathroom mirror, taking off her fox mask. She pulled out a red face marker hidden in her bra. There were a few details that Kitsune needed to minimize the risk of recognizing her in the future. She drew triangular elements by the eyes and two thicker lines on the zygomatic bones to look a bit like the animal. Was she cheating on someone? Was there such a possibility at all? She was honest with everyone, especially with her father and Kaoru. Or maybe... to herself, not? Why did it seem so real to her? She pushed the fox's face down on her nose, adjusted her clothes, tucked the marker pen deeply and left the bathroom. She still wondered who was lying. She had not managed to poke her nose out of

[sophiemariepl]

Am I the only one who does not really get all those takes which read young Coriolanus Snow as an epitome of toxic masculinity and keep saying “OMFG, Lucy Gray, yes, girl, run away from him!1!!1”?

Like, I don’t mean that Coryo is not toxic. He, very obviously, is. That’s how he is meant to be.

But it seems to me that many people don’t get that the whole point of “The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” is to show how did it come to this, how Coryo became the way he is. Suzanne Collins literally makes a reference to tabula rasa - a concept in the Western Enlightenment philosophy, which, to quote the Free Dictionary, is:

This is the first. The point is to ask the reader: how much of a “clean slate” Coryo is as a person? How much does his experience and background shape him? How “free” is his will when he is continuously being shaped by everything around him?

Secondly, idk, did people realize that the characters of Coryo and Lucy Gray are constructed as personifications of the “civilization vs nature” conflict? A conflict which is, nomen omen, also common in Western philosophy in the Enlightenment era?

In short, Coryo is the personification of civilization - order, science, lack of spontaneity, etc. Meanwhile, Lucy Gray personifies nature - she is spontaneous, artistic, sensitive and trusting (even despite the fact that before being with Coryo she was in a toxic relationship). She believes in the inherent goodness in people, while Coryo clearly does not. And both of these two stances also derive from their upbringing.

Like, coming back to their background.

Lucy Gray, despite coming from an extremely underprivileged background and being in a toxic relationship prior to the plot of the book, seems to have had loving and trusting people around her. Most of the time, her background reinforced the story “you are good, worthy, and loved”. And this way she grew this attitude in her mind. She had developed a sense of self-worth, her own standing, her own “stone”, which saved her even when the odds were not on her side.

Meanwhile, Coryo came from a fallen high-class family embedded in Capitol’s politics - which in itself is not a good place for proper emotional development. In such an environment, you constantly have to prove your worth. You don’t matter on your own. If you don’t keep fighting, you are worthless. In a sense, you are what you do. And, to add fuel to the fire, Coryo had to hide the true economic standing of his family and almost constantly be on alert, because, in reality, everyone around him was a back-stabbing b*tch ready to hurt him. Wouldn’t you develop trust issues in this situation?

And yes, I know that many people here will mention Tigris, I know. But how much time does Coryo really spend with his cousin? How much time, ability, and opportunity does Tigris have on reversing the poison that is poured into her cousin’s head when he is outside of home, e.g. at school?

Idk, maybe it is just my experience (this is going to get private now lol), but when I read about Coryo, I found his person cruel, but weirdly relatable.

That mostly stems from the fact that I too have an experience of growing up in a very toxic environment that gave me trust issues. And it is not that I did not have a person like Tigris around me. I did, when I saw them for maximum 1-1.5 hour per day, because we both were overwhelmed with work and did not have time to talk and bond together and undo the toxicity that was constantly reinforced in my head when I had other stuff to do. Similarly to Coryo, I too had to stay in a constantly back-stabbing, non-empathetic environment, which constantly reinforced the fact that apart from very few people, I could not trust anybody. Because if I do - they will use that to hurt me in the end. So, I thought to myself that I have to be constantly on guard. When entering any friendships, a coping mechanism for me was to think of these people in the categories “what they can offer/do for me” instead of “who is this person for me as a person”. Because, you know, in case they stab me in the back, I still get something out of it.

This led to the fact that even when I supposedly could let my guard down - that is, I entered my first romantic relationship - letting this guard down felt unnatural, wrong. And it led to - tada! - wanting to possess the one I loved. Because no, I could not trust the fact them, that was not enough. I did not trust them enough to believe that they wanted to stay with me because they wanted to.

And damn, seeing that Coryo had similar issues was so… therapeutic. He just could not let go, give space and trust the woman of his life. And paradoxically, this is what largely contributes to her ultimately leaving him without a word.

The fact that Suzanne Collins understands this pattern (and most likely heavily researched it) makes me respect her so much more.

(Of course, I am in therapy. I don’t plan to repeat these behaviours anymore, I don’t want to end up like Coryo 😅 But I’m just saying that it’s still hard to unlearn these patterns years after leaving the original toxic environment because my brain got wired at some point to reinforce this “You should trust no one” story 24/7.)

And no, before you accuse me of “defending” Snow’s actions, I stop you here. I completely, fully acknowledge the fact that Coriolanus Snow, in the end, does evil things and is a truly evil person.

But what I am against is reading TBoSaS as just a story of a toxic romance between a guy embedded in toxic masculinity and a sensitive girl that he just wants to possess BeCAuSe hE Is ToXIc. This is just extremely shallow, and completely contradicts the point that, I believe, Suzanne Collins is trying to make here. And her point is still scary, if not more than just labelling Coryo as masculine in a toxic way.

The society also largely contributes to creating monsters. We create these monsters.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

sou !! hello !! this is also random and specific but i saw the datekou headcanon post and i was wondering. might you have any inarizaki road trip hcs?

i didn't until you asked me so LET'S GO

oh god you thought dateko was bad??? they were only stuck in the car for thirty minutes at MOST

(or something idk i haven't quite mapped out their geography yet but miyagi is a coastal prefecture and sendai isn't like SUPER far inland, so i'm just making assumptions out here)

but anyways. kurosu is driving obviously as much as he moans and groans about it

shoutout to the coaches btw they are CARRYING these headcanons

realistically i guess they'd road trip to another school for a training camp or like idk. maybe hot springs for some r&r bc inarizaki def has the budget for it but in my heart they road trip to suna's hometown during one of the breaks so suna can see his family <333

i guess it also kind of depends on WHERE in hyogo and aichi they are but we could get a solid 4-5 hours of driving if it was from, say, asago to tahara

kita makes a list of all the snacks everyone wants and rounds up aran, oomimi, and akagi to help him raid the market/convenience store like the old hunter-gatherer days

they end up with two massive tote bags of drinks, chips, cookies, and other miscellaneous snacks and one cooler for things like puddings and cakes and whatnot

oomimi sits shotgun because kurosu needed someone to help with directions and everyone else was on "make sure the miyas don't kill each other before we get there" duty

they all thought that kita was brilliant for making atsumu sit in the back and osamu up front because even tho they're separated the twins will NOT stop bickering and trying to throw random pieces of trash at each other. poor riseki gets caught in the crossfire the most often

they all converged to make one giant road trip playlist so you've got the weirdest mix of pop rock/bubblegum/k-pop/city pop, lofi, indie soft rock, show tunes and soundtracks, and more

(i named those genres with certain charas in mind so like. have fun figuring that out!)

nobody's willing to take a nap in fear of what the twins might do to each other when they're not looking

they play really stupid games like the alphabet-chain game and i spy and even try for a few rounds of truth or dare because, hey, there's nothing like being stuck in a car with your fellow teenagers for four hours to set the mood for emotionally vulnerable bonding time, right?

anyways. everyone learns that gin is afraid of heights and all sorts of horror movies, akagi would like to get his ears pierced some day, kosaku got rejected in middle school in front of his entire class and has refused to fall in love since, and suna takes pictures to capture the memory of a place he does not want to forget

(sorry i'm being emo about suna missing home again i'll stop)

kurosu is sweating BUCKETS in the front seat btw. "oh my god what do i do with this information am i supposed to talk to them i'm their TEACHER i'm supposed to guide them i do NOT get paid enough for this - "

a shame, really, considering inarizaki could definitely afford to give that man a raise

it's okay they get some really funny dares like daring gin to text his crush a totally random and weird question

(and thank god atsumu has his phone tucked away in his bag)

there's not a whole lot of dares they can do in the car tbh so they get really creative like daring osamu to eat this absolutely evil concoction of mixing tiramisu pudding into a bag of spicy chips and eating the whole thing

he does. nobody knows how he survived it

and then riseki dared both osamu AND atsumu to shut up and sit down and not even so much as GLANCE each other for the rest of the trip

this was at, like, the 1.5 hour mark btw

and okay he didn't say it EXACTLY like that because riseki is a sweet respectful underclassman but that WAS the closest to snapping he's ever gotten

they do stop occasionally here and there to get out and stretch their legs, but this makes their trip even longer bc it takes like thirty minutes each time to wrangle everyone and get them back in the van

also akagi is trying out his most terrible pickup lines. or antipickup lines. either one works

akagi: "are you lactose? because i can't tolerate you ;)" aran: "PLEASE, MAKE HIM STOP"

the only reason aran feels like he isn't completely suffering is because gin is sitting next to him and gin is kind of soothing like a cute pet would be. not that aran is thinking of gin as a pet nooooo ahahaha that would be weird

meanwhile gin is wondering why aran keeps trying to feed him crackers

they finally get to suna's hometown after being on the road for SIX AND A HALF HOURS

and while everyone is happy to be outside soaking up the sun and fresh air, they're all going to miss the bonding of being stuck in a van perhaps just a little bit

it's all right, they've got the return trip to look forward to

(made 100x worse when akagi busts out a drinking game and proclaims they should play with juice boxes, but that's a story for another time)

[natreads]

Ramblings about uni and the future

I'm trying to make a difficult decision. Since I've spent the last five years trying to break into the publishing industry and mostly failing (I'm freelance but can't get a full time job), I've been thinking very seriously about going back to uni to become a librarian instead. It's not really a career I've ever thought of, or wanted, but the same can be said for publishing. I decided I wanted to go that route when I already had a my bachelors degree. It felt like the "right" path, but I wasn't aware of how difficult it would be. The industry is so closed off, and I'm not very good at putting myself out there, so I've been struggling a lot. Not to mention people keep getting fired left and right so even if I do get in who knows how long that will last. I guess part of deciding to study something else, despite already having a masters degree and over six years of uni studies behind me, is that I feel like I need to essentially give up this dream, which would make the past five years feel like a waste even though I don't necessarily think they are. But I will have to give up the identity I have built around the industry. But I also feel like going another route won't mean I can't one day make it there too. But I also don't want to get another degree just to still be focusing on an industry that's this unattainable. I will have to focus on making it as a librarian instead and the idea of having to properly give up publishing makes me so sad, but I also know it will bring me relief once I actually do it. I need to study something where I will actually find work.

Another issue is that I really really REALLY don't want to study for another three years lmao. I talked to some people and there's a possibility that I COULD skip one semester due to previous studies, but I feel like it will be complicated and also not necessarily set in stone to manipulate the degree like that. I also got the tip to go take a masters instead which is two years, but here are the pros and cons to all of this:

Three year undergrad:

The school I did my BA at, so it's familiar

Since it's undergrad I'm not worried I will fail

Close to home (even if I move)

Unfortunately it's three years

It feels "silly" to get another BA when I could get an MA immediately instead

Two year masters program:

It's only two years

It will probably be hard

Could be done online, but I don't know if I have it in me to sit at home for two years again

It's in another city, but only takes an hour by train to get there

Unfortunately the train (pendeln) SUCKS and is super unreliable

And I would have to pay a bunch each time

But I like the idea of experiencing something new, since I both like the city (it's a college town) and don't think one hour is that bad

Another problem is that we'll be doing lots of group work so I might have to be there a lot which will be annoying

If I knew just HOW often I'd have to go I feel like it would be easier

I'm gonna be moving soonish to an apartment in the city here in Stockholm so I don't wanna move to Uppsala and do student housing, but my lease will only be one year so maybe I COULD during second year. I've never expeirenced student life like that before

Do I really wanna write another fucking masters thesis omg

I like the sound of two master degrees tho lmao

One semester will be dedicated to writing my thesis so I will mostly only have to commute for 1.5 years I guess, which makes the student housing in year two maybe unnessecary? But my lease will be up anyway soooo. In an ideal world I would be doing student housing my first year and then move into the other apartment after, but I can't do that and I don't wanna give up on a great opportunity

We'll be visiting libraries and whatnot and if it's in Uppsala (I kinda assume it is) I will have to figure out the public transit looool

Essentially, I think the undergrad one is safe but longer, while the MA is shorter but scarier. If I do the MA online I will be more comfortable, but also probably lowkey go crazy. Maybe if I knew if and how much I would be working at the bookstore after the summer I would pick the online version, since work would get me out of the house, but none of us know how needed I will be.

I know I need to change lanes, since I'm getting older and I need stability. Working in a library is the next best thing I can see myself doing after publishing (I kinda wanted to do marketing but I've realized it unfortunately goes against a lot of my morals and libraries are ethically the one and only place I stand 100% behind).

Idk if anyone has any insight or advice please lmk I'm so torn

[missingmark]

i need the next part of old habits die hard!!

― old habits die hard pt.2

The denial of your infatuation with Matt finally ends after a date with someone else. But once admitting to them, you try to spare yourself the heartbreak you've already known once before. The results of your attempt feel oddly similar.

‧₊˚ matt x fem!reader

‧₊˚ warnings: reader has nails done again and makeup on! also not proofread bc im tired and its 2 am :c ill do it tomorrow tho (?)

‧₊˚ word count: 1.9k (🙀)

‧₊˚ masterlist - part 1 | part 1.5 | part 3

‧₊˚ want to be on the taglist?

Ever since that fateful night, Matt’s hand would ultimately find yours at least four times a day. 

You still had to fully unravel how you felt about this, but the initial shock whenever his fingers traced yours shily at first, waiting for you to glance his way and give him a sign of approval wore off a lot quicker than you both had expected.

On some days it would be him to remember your little agreement first, he’d catch himself almost biting at the nail of his pinky, stopping himself mid-motion and looking around for you instead. He didn’t try to deny the smile that would spread across his face in anticipating of feeling your hand in his again, though he definitely tried to hide it whenever he finally reached you, his hand sliding into yours effortlessly before playing with the rings on your finger or letting his thumbs run across your knuckles.

On other days it would be you who’d catch him biting his nails, rolling your eyes but grinning a bit nonetheless you’d walk over, slowly and softly pull his hand from his mouth and take it into yours instead. You tried not to get flustered at the way Matt would stare at you whenever this happened, ignored his lovestruck stare and his mouth slightly parting, looking at you like you were the light of his life and he needed a moment to process the fact you were willingly touching him at this very moment. (Which actually was how he felt, though you weren’t aware of that yet.)

Your attempts at ignoring the pounding in your chest, your lingering looks on his lips and the heat that would rise on your face whenever you’d get a text from him, failed miserably. 

You were reaching a point of denial that, even you had to admit, was on the verge of being simply delusional, when you sat in front of a guy from your university, who had asked you on a date just about a week ago, back during those bright happy days in which you weren’t trying to desperately prevent yourself from falling in love with Matt. Again. 

You had always kind of liked him, he dressed well and he’d send you notes whenever you asked for them, though something was extremely off about him tonight and while trying to find some pathetic excuse of a reason why, a part of you deep down knew that you just couldn’t bring yourself to fully enjoy this date because he wasn’t Matt.

Stepping out of the restaurant you let out a sigh, the coldish air made you pull the jacket you had worn a bit closer around your body as you walked down the sidewalk towards the boys apartment.

Your thoughts were filled, no, plagued by Matt and the dilemma you were facing with your growing feelings for him. You thought back to your high school self, the way you’d always get unsure and insecure whenever you tried to find a reason why Matt never seemed to look your way, the way you’d spend hours at night staying up and contemplating calling him, telling him how you felt. You were sure if your high school self could see you right now, she would rip you a new one.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

You pulled on your headphones, ignored your rising heartbeat, and picked up.

“Hey, Matt,” you smiled, his face popping up on the screen, a white shirt and his dangling necklace greeting you, the phone thrown somewhere on the bed and him leaning above it to properly greet you.

The smile that spread across his face, along with his arms on either side of the phone as he leaned over the phone were a sight you wouldn’t complain about if you weren’t so desperately trying to not fall in love with him.

“Hey, you,” he smiled back, pushing himself up from the bed again to reach for a sweater that had been laying somewhere on the side.

“Where are you? I thought you were coming over for a movie tonight,” he murmured, the view of his face blocked by the sweater he was folding.

A part of you was grateful you could finally focus on something else besides how ridiculously handsome he looked in the dim lighting of his room, while a different much more honest part of you missed his stupidly pretty face.

“Are you doing laundry?” You semi-fake gasped.

You could see him roll his eyes while he picked up another sweater. 

“Will you answer my question?” He ignored you.

“I’m sorry I’m just- I’m just so in shock. I come over like every other day for movie night but this I feel like this is something annually.”

“You’re so funny.”

“I feel like I should call your mother, let her know.”

“Okay.”

“Should I write this down in my calendar?”

Matt put down the last of his shirts, before picking up his phone.

“You’re so incredibly annoying, dear god. If you do end up coming over just know I won’t let you in,” he murmured, while walking towards the kitchen, leaning you against the wall as he starts making popcorn.

“Obviously I’m coming over, don’t you see I’m already on my way, stupid?” You smirked, pulling your phone away from you to better show the familiar houses of his neighbourhood you were walking by. 

Matt ignored your comment, instead he focused on your face during the short time that the street lamp illuminated it, the way your hair was done reminded him of the hairstyle you had during his last birthday, and the soft shade of lipstick you seemed to wear made his eyes linger even a little longer.

“Where were you?” He mumbled, the cookie he was eating, muffling his words.

You hesitated. Usually, Matt was the first person you’d tell about your dates, but this time, it almost felt wrong to tell him, despite the fact it was mediocre at best.

“On a date,” you murmured.

You couldn’t quite make out the look on his face after your words had fully registered in his mind, but it was unusually quiet, especially for a phone call with Matt.

“But it wasn’t any good, honestly,” you elaborated, mentally slapping yourself for feeling the need to give him reassurance that he wasn’t asking for and probably not in need of. (He actually very much was.)

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologised, “why not?”

“I don’t know, I guess he just wasn’t my type?” You replied, when in reality you meant to say, “He just wasn’t you.”

“I think he talked a bit too much for me, and we just didn’t have much in common.”

This was true, technically, you just left out the fact that the reason you weren’t able to participate in most of the conversations was because you weren’t listening but instead thinking about which movie you’d be watching in a different guy's bed tonight.

“Oh, so you’d want a guy who can listen well?” Matt questioned, moving back into his room.

“I mean, of course.”

“Maybe he also likes the same things that you do, the same music, for example.”

“Mhm, sure,” you answer suspiciously, having a feeling you knew where this was going.

“Someone who knows you really well? Maybe because he’s known you since high school?”

“I guess that would be nice.”

“Who’s also really tall, brunette and handsome?” He smirked.

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, hoping the darkness outside was covering up your blush at his flirty comments, trying to stay composed as you mustered up all your strength to come up with a remark.

“Okok, stop describing Chris to me and let me in, I’m here.”

You’ve never seen someone's smile fade so quickly, though you saw him hold back a grin at your comment.

“Whatever, freeze out there.”

“I could always call Chris to-”

Matt ripped open the door before you could even finish your sentence.

After changing into some more comfortable clothes that Chris had lent you, (“Why are you wearing Chris’ sweater?” Matt had pouted. “I didn’t wanna wear any of yours, who knows when’s the next time you’ll fold them.”) you found yourself laying in his bed, a movie running in the back as you told Matt about anything and everything.

“- and so tomorrow I have to drive my sister to the hairdresser to get her hair done for later.”

Matt listened to you, though every once in a while his eyes would wander towards your hands, you had gotten your nails done earlier today (a part of him hoped it wasn’t for that date you went on) and he felt the strong urge to reach out and inspect it closer. 

As you continued talking he decided to act on his desires.

“I might even have to drive her to her prom, but I don’t know if I’ll make it since I have an assignment due till-,” your words dragged mid sentence, your focus shifting from the story you were telling to the feeling of his hand in yours.

He noticed your shift in demeanour instantly, frowning he pulled away in fear he had made you uncomfortable.

“What? Everything okay?” he leaned down towards you, which only made you even more nervous.

“I- yeah, I’m okay, I’m just..."

Thinking about kissing you?

A total idiot?

Quite possibly, totally falling in love with you again right now?

“...tired,” you settled on, sitting up a bit in his bed as you averted his eyes, knowing that he was definitely trying to hide a bit of hurt.

“That’s okay, here, I’ll turn off the movie and we-”

“I think I’ll sleep in Chris’ room tonight?” You blurted out, quickly getting up from his bed before slowly inching towards his door, only this time the two of you were looking at each other and the disappointment on his face broke your heart.

“Oh…yeah, sure. I-I’ll uh- I’ll be awake for a little while then, just in case you change your mind,” he mumbled, embarrassed and confused with a bit of hope in his voice that you’d just get back in bed and cuddle up with him like you’d usually do.

You nodded, your hand reaching towards the doorknob.

“Are you really sure you’re okay?” Matt checked in with you one last time, in reality just desperately hoping to find a reason for you to stay.

“Everything’s alright,” You hummed before heading down to Chris’ room, after knocking you bursted in.

“I’m in love with Matt,” you blurted out before he could even fully acknowledge your presence.

“Same,” he joked, his eyes still focused on the screen in front of him until he noticed your silence, finally meeting your glassy eyes and shocked expression he pulled off his headphones almost instantly, walking towards you before pulling you into his arms, letting you hug him back as tightly as you needed to before the two of you sat down on his bed, and talked.

That night both you and Matt laid awake at night, thinking about the other, and while you were trying to remember how you got over him the first time, Matt was hoping you were coming back.

Everything’s alright, you had said.

Matt sighed into his pillow, the lockscreen of you and him tormenting him even more as he checked the time.

Matt was going to hold you to those words.

taglist:

@stxrniqlo @jvdethirlwall @yoongoboongo

(sign up here)

note

wee woo wee woo!! I'm sleep deprived 😁

on a serious note though, thank you so much for all the positive feedback :)) it really means a lot to me! seeing you all enjoy this i can't wait for you to see the other projects im working on!!

hope you enjoyed, luv u <3

[ellecdc]

okay no pressure in answering this at all if you’re not comfortable but i’ve been having many Thoughts lately and i wanted to share them with somebody but nobody ik will listen and you’re my favorite blog

i’m on summer break from college right now which means i don’t have a constant stream of Things To Do, so i have a lot of free time, which i usually spending thinking about the marauders (guilty)

but since i’ve been home (abt 3 weeks) ive been getting super overwhelmed in the fandom, not bc of anybody but because i have so much Love for content. like i love the fandom so much and i love fics and fanart and edits and stuff like that, and i don’t think i have a limit

i feel like i spend too much time engaging in the community, or even just thinking about characters (primarily the Noble House of Black lol) and i don’t get me wrong, i love it so much, but almost to a point where it’s overwhelming and i get emotional randomly and sometimes i feel like that’s not normal?

like i feel like i might be genuinely addicted - i haven’t gone a day without opening ao3/tumblr/tiktok to see fandom content in a very long time and as much as i love to embrace that fact, i can’t figure out why that scares me so much

i hope this makes sense. i just needed to tell somebody because im starting to feel like something is wrong with me lol

like i said, no need to respond if you don’t feel comfortable. i just wanted to put it into words

I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with liking something ‘so’ much and being so invested in something as long as it’s not taking away/affecting the rest of your life?

If you’re still able to take care of yourself physically (showering, eating, sleeping, cleaning), and if you’re still able to enjoy your personal and social life (going to work/school etc, hanging with friends, engaging with family members), and it’s not hurting anyone (yourself or loved ones), then what’s the harm?

I literally cannot think about canon at all, I was telling my mutual this the other day - they’d asked me what my other mutuals told me about ATYD because they were thinking of reading it and I told them and literally felt sick to my stomach thinking about it afterwards 😅 like no, perhaps that’s not ‘normal’ but that’s also why I’m in fanfiction? I can’t watch TV shows or movies because I get too emotional and too invested that I can’t handle anything angsty or sad. So I spend time in fanfiction to kind of “fix” it for me, and it makes me happy!

When I was in my first degree probably ~19, I was going through a hard time and would go for walks with my dog like 3 times a day for almost 45mins-1.5 hours each time (so walking almost 3 hours out of the day) just so I could escape my present reality and live in my little daydreams I created for myself. I became so reclusive and was over exerting myself, under eating, not socializing and started getting emotional because I preferred my daydreams to my current reality

Sometimes that’s life saving for people so I am an advocate for people doing what they need to do to get by - BUT - for me, that’s when it became unhealthy

So no, i don’t think liking/loving fanfic “too much” is abnormal (maybe it is but then we’re all freaks here) and i don’t think it’s unhealthy unless you’re unable to care for yourself otherwise

[oswlld]

oswlld's monthly wrap up: april

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

--

This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone [started 04/04, finished 04/09] *drags my hands down my face until the end of time* I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I WANT TO MEET YOU!!!! IN EVERY PLACE I EVER LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4.75⭐️ in storygraph. — Hamnet, Maggie O’Farrell [started 04/12, in prog] I am about 100 pages in and still not sure if I want to keep going or DNF it. idk what isn’t sticking because the writing is beautiful and the pacing is great. And I do care about the characters, I really do. I love the way the author borrows from future grief, it’s what I am enjoying most about this read so far. Maybe I’ll give it 50 more pages and see if it finally sticks.

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, ongoing] As mentioned, I am caught up on eps 3-8. I’ll likely not be able to watch it live in may but I will be keeping up with the series til the end. It’s so lighthearted and charming! Not sure how they managed this, but I am constantly surprised by the character group dynamics. It’s def due to the great chemistry everyone has with literally everyone. I need NEED to discuss the score of this show because it’s IMMACULATE. The celestial themes, from the props all the way down to the music, is so rich. I’m so excited to see how this story unravels. — Devil’s Plan [started: 04/23, ongoing] This is a bestie pick, a show my best friend chose to have us watch on our facetime calls. We are 1.5 eps in and it’s a grower. The first game is hella complex and we’re slowly picking up on what’s happening. The people on this show are incredibly intelligent, so I feel like I have to work extra hard to keep up. It does feel rewarding, I’m hooked.

Oppenheimer, Peacock [watched on 04/05] I am a self-proclaimed Nolan girlie, I’ll admit it. I do enjoy his work and the many ways he translates time into film. When I wrote this, it had been a few days since I watched it and I still think abt the little moments that blew me away. Moments like the accentuated dust particles, how the coloring of the movie can be an unreliable narrator, and the utilization of a crowded hall stomping their feet to create tension. The last eight minutes still haunts me. I find more value in the technical side of film, but I will give credit when credit is due: every award Cillian Murphy got this season was so well earned. He carried all three hours of that film with such powerful quietude. And lastly, my heart now belongs to Jennifer Lame. Upon seeing her accept the award for Best Film Editing for Oppenheimer, I have come to learn that she also edited Tenet. HER MIND!!! She has such a bright future ahead of her, to be up there with the minds of Thelma Schoonmaker and Anne V Coates. — Yellow Door: ’90s Lo-Fi Film Club [watched on 04/14] This film needs to be studied in film school. It’s incredibly meta in some ways, having renown directors be the subjects, talking about their passion for film. The production being so stylized and the editing feels very reminiscent of Our Beloved Summer, with the way the found footage and the aspect ratios are intertwined with current day quality shots. This film will hit everyone right in the millennial. A true surprise for me is discovering that Bong Joon Ho and I are more alike that I had originally thought. The way he speaks in casual conversation and his story of setting strict rules for their film collection had me hollering because SAME. The most jessi thing he recounted was how all the VHS tapes were labelled. Yellow Door is somehow the opposite of the "doesn’t take itself too seriously" mentality; it’s actually so great that they made the film like that. By fully immersing us with gorgeous cinematography, cheeky editing sequences, and lush music to tug at your heartstrings, it bewitches you into loving film as much as they did. And still do.

Cowboy Carter, Beyoncé [relisten] I’ve given this several good cycles to confirm my first impressions: it’s def one of her most cohesive albums to date and still stands as a spectacular album. This passion project of hers takes such great care and attention to the voices she amplifies. I can feel the hunger, the innate need for her to make this album. If you haven’t heard how this album came to be, I insist you take the time to educate yourselves. It makes the listening experience so much more empowering. Good for her… GOOD. FOR. HER!! Current favs: Ameriican Requiem, 16 Carriages, Bodyguard, Jolene, Spaghettii, Ya Ya, Desert Eagle, II Hands II Heaven, and Sweet/Honey/Buckin’. — Older, Lizzy McAlpine [first time listening] Coming off the heels of my Five Seconds Flat hyperfixation last year, I haphazardly went into Older hoping its a natural progression in production value. I was shocked that it turned out to be a completely different sound. I soon learned that she actually didn’t really like how Five Seconds Flat was produced because it didn’t feel true to her as an artist. Tbh I was feeling a little lost after the first listen but after digesting this new info, I went back into it and appreciated it a lot more. In fact, the third listen was when I realized that it gave off the same energy as Laufey. I’m excited to listen to it again soon. — Stick Season: Forever, Noah Kahan [first time listening] Having stumbled on all the collabs on Alexa earlier this year, Forever was the only new song for me from his latest release. I’m OBSESSED with this song!!!! The way his voice carries the entire weight of every hurt inside me and just takes it away. Something healed in me. I play it in the car every time I leave the house. I cry in the car every time I leave the house. — The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift [first time listening, standard vinyl ed.] I am going to get this out of the way and say that this album is great. Just great. I understand more than ever why she felt the need to make this album. Having only listened to the standard version a couple times and the anthology twice through, I sit here in this kind of… discomfort. And I’m kind of okay with that feeling. But… it pains me that I can’t share this album with some people in my life and it’s largely due to how she depicts her struggles with people with mental illness/addiction. It’s one, if not the biggest, strike I have against this album and by extension, her. Songs cycling in my head: Down Bad, So Long London, Guilty as Sin?, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?, loml, imgonnagetyouback, Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus, How Did It End?, I Look in People’s Windows, The Prophecy, Peter, and The Manuscript.

EXPO Chicago [attended 04/13] Yes, I am doxxing myself a bit if you didn’t already know. During college, I used to attend EXPO yearly and occasionally went back long after I finished school. I haven’t attended in a long time, so I made it my goal to attend this year. And I had a blast! My mother tagged along and she’s not one to attend shows like this or art museums in general. It was a beautiful day trip to the city and it was nice to have her company. She mostly trailed behind and took pics of me as I floated around the exhibition hall. I have 50+ artists I tracked on my phone to actively research in my spare time. I sat in on one of the panel talks (ON COLOR), discussing color theory in today’s bipoc landscape. I took so much away from that conversation, it was very charged. I'm kinda obsessed with Alteronce Gumby, I need to do an artist deepdive on his work. — Coachella [watched from 04/12 to 04/14] I work for a big tech company and one of the biggest events to be on standby for is Coachella. I had to be on call for Friday and was backup support for Sunday lineups. Thus, Saturday was the only day I could sit back and relax while watching. My first time lineups included: Hatsune Miku, Peso Pluma, Late Night Drive Home, Jon Batiste, Ateez, le Sserafim, Purple Disco Machine, Bleachers, No Doubt, 88rising Futures, and Latin Mafia. Of all of the performances, I want to take a full deep dive into Ateez and Peso Pluma’s discography in the near future.

[farmersliga]

i have less than one more hour of 2023 left, so i want to look back a bit. this year, i…

learned to be a little more independent

discovered how much i enjoyed casual walking, even though it’s always crazy hot here

had my student driver’s license expire because i didn’t finish my required hours of practical training and i was too scared to take the test anyway

got super close to some family members i didn’t talk to so much before

had a very public breakdown for the first time in a long time. also had problems with being overwhelmed more than usual

started seriously considering teaching as a career path because, in what was the kindest move ever by a teacher to me, my native german prof pulled me aside to say he thought i had a gift for it

went on a trip abroad with just my cousins and had a blast. then went on a trip abroad for uni and had even more of a blast

met up with four online friends. shoutout to irena, jade, clara, and cher for being the bestest most lovely people ever <3

discovered new hobbies like listening to cassette tapes and crocheting, the latter of which i was able to use to make tiny little plushies for all of the online friends i met this year

flew abroad four times, which is the most i’ve ever done in one year. i got to visit hong kong, taiwan, the usa, and germany!

speaking of germany, got to go there for the first time ever. it was amazing to be able to experience the place i’d only ever seen in textbooks. i have fond memories of being able to talk to shopkeepers in german now too. but i also came to the realization that there’s still so much more for me to learn. because i went there with only 1.5 years of studying the language, and i was half floundering

stayed with a host couple for a few days in germany and conversed with them almost solely in german. they ended up getting married later in the year and i’m so happy for them

had multiple direct experiences with racism while abroad, including being accused of theft?? which was sad but also funny in a depressing way

started studying italian from scratch and loved it. also accidentally started studying french from scratch and hated it

affirmed a lot of my personal values, mostly with regard to social situations

started seeing a psychologist on top of my psychiatrist sessions

got incredibly emotional hearing my national anthem played during a football world cup for the first time ever, then got even more emotional watching us win a match. when i first watched these girls, they’d almost gotten kicked out of the qualis for the asian cup that got them into the wwc in the first place. and now they’re stars. it’s beautiful to see

finally helped to start fixing a really bad family problem that i’d known about for a few years now that nobody was doing anything about

saw both taylor swift and fall out boy live in concert. these were my first concerts ever, too. and both these artists were my favorites from high school so it was super special to me

watched my first full tennis season and cemented my love for the sport along with it. also got significantly more involved with the tennis side of tumblr and met the loveliest people there

took my baby nieces to their first trip abroad just this christmas <3

and probably much more that i’m forgetting now. but it’s really been a good year, definitely the best i’ve had since the pandemic happened. i dealt with a lot of mental health issues as usual, but i also learned to cope with them in healthier ways. and being able to go out more this year (not just abroad, but outside in general) and talk to more people was a big plus

so i just want to say thank you to everyone who helped make this year a much happier one for me, and i hope you all stay in my life even in 2024!

[asherloki]

Professor Steven grant

Professor Steven x student reader.

It's finally out , yeah !

Summary:- you are a college student, unwilling to study but you get the professor, the love of your life.

You were never really fond of history, rather studying at all. Your whole concentration was on extra curricular activities. You love playing guitar, so remembering years in history was way harder that remembering chords of songs.

It was after you completed school, your parents forced you to study in college. You obviously wanted to study music but they asked you not to. So you thought very little of the subject and applied for anything and everything. After a few weeks you got a mail that a college accepted your application and you could join their history department. You rolled your eyes cause history? Really? How could you even applied for it? What would probably learning about those past events do good to you. But anyway, you got admission in the history dept.

Finally the first day of the clg came. You barely dressed well, barely checked the professors in the website and just took a notebook and pen. That's all. You entered thinking if you'd pass the subject by one mark or two. While thinking you felt a tug at your jumper and you were so lost that you lost your balance and was about to fall but someone grabbed you from behind. A guy , his hair was messy and he wore a shirt as a shrug to another shirt he wore inside. You felt angry so you yelled after standing on your feet, "you, why did you tried to make me fall?"

He was stunned and so was other students around you, "come on you stupid answer me".

"I... I..." He mumbled.

"It was me" a girl called from behind him, "I mistook you as my friend and tug your jumper, he saved you from falling". To this you felt your anger cooling down.

"Oh, well I'm sorry, for yelling at you".

"No..no problem " he said being nervous.

"Anyway from which department are you?" You enquired. And the girl replied.

"He's the history professor, Steven grant".

You were stunned, you yelled at a professor? The one who'll be taking your class in a few hours. You forgot blink and Steven could see your awkwardness so to lighten that he said, "look it's all right, I believe you're new.."

You didn't let him finish and said, "no no, punish me please, I was stupid, my goodness you're my professor, I'm in history department. Oh fuck, I mean no, no swearing... Oh gosh, please give me extra home work..."

"Listen " said Steven smiling, "it's alright " then he put his hand on your shoulder "I understand you're nervous, anyway I have class with the first years in 2 hours, see you in class, miss?"

"I uh, I am actually " you forgot your name almost, "oh yeah I'm y/n y/l/n, Mr Grant?"

"Yes, see you in two hours, please be seated in room number cf4" .

Your awkwardness was unforgettable. But the girl who tug at you was a first year too. Just got admitted a day ago, eventually you spend your 1.5 hours with her, she became your first friend in college, and you waited having your heart beating super fast for another half an hour to pass, to attend the class of Steven grant .

His period came and he entered. His eyes searched for you and you looked at the desk. When the whole class welcomed him, he usually says thank you but today he said, "glad to see you Ms y/l/n, now don't feel awkward for yelling at me, it's all sorted out".

"Yes Mr Grant" said you and sat down. His class literally made you forget everything that happened before, his genuine nerdyness, his funny personality everything seemed so cool to you just like the other students. It was the first history class where you weren't bored. As his class was done, you all were going to have a break he called you, "Ms y/l/n, may I have a talk".

You thought he'd punish you so you went closer and said, "yes I'm ready for detention"

"I wasn't saying that, I just saw you were really attentive in my class, so I thought you might like to participate in a seminar of history, on the behalf of the college, I'll help". He said as politely as one can possibly be.

"Oh, that's great but, Mr Grant I have to be honest, I'm not good at studying..." You said, everything about how you landed in that college, "the only history class I've ever paid attention is yours".

This made him blush and he put on his glasses, "so seminar?" He enquired.

"May I have a week to think?"

"Sure why not" was his reply.

After you came home you blushed, you blushed through the day. Firstly because you felt embarrassed for what happened in the beginning and then the way Steven teaches. You've never felt this sensetion before, what is it? Are you obsessed? Are you crazy? Or are you.... In love?. No not love probably, you thought to yourself but Steven grant wasn't getting Outta your head. You called your new friend to ask her help you make a decision.

With her encouragement you decided that you're up for it.

Next day you waited infront of the teachers room to see Steven. But another professor said "oh he might be late today".

So as you turned and was about to enter your classroom your head hung low. You bumped into someone who came running and grabbed you before falling.

Again it was Steven grant. He apologized and said, "oh gosh, I'm sorry Ms y/n. We always endup being bumped into". Said he laughing lightly.

"Yet you always endup saving me from falling" was your reply after which you realised it sounded way too heavy that it was supposed to be. But then Steven said, "yeah right," laughing awkwardly "so still thinking?"

"No actually I've decided, I'm in". This made Steven joyous, he said,

"so we'll have extra class on Egyptian mythology okay?"

"Extra class ? Sure" you replied.

thanking you he went inside. But you were somehow over the moon.

Seeing Steven grant everyday was this satisfying you never knew.

He became your favourite in college. Your parents were surprised to see you studying this hard, and they were even more satisfied to see you participate in a seminar. Extra classes with Steven was fun, you two would go to museum. He would explain things and you just listened to him.

In middle you two took a little break, you both munched sandwiches with cheese, he even talks while chewing, but it didn't bother you. You were just listening to him and staring. But one thing you still haven't discovered about him. You did though that day. He took you to a chart and started to read out . But the fonts were small so he took out his glasses and wore it. Him being all nerdy with those glasses on was enough to throw yourself on him and kiss. You were sure at that moment you were falling. He though as you thought was not interested into anything but history and Egypt. But you knew you have to know is he really can be something more than a professor so while on your way back you asked, "professor Steven grant?"

"Yes?" He said looking to you with puppy eyes.

"I was thinking if you'd be coming to the annual program tomorrow at college "

"It's tomorrow is it?" He asked realising "oh bollocks I almost forgot ".

"So are you coming?"

"Yeah I guess if I don't have any other classes ".

"Can you please come to the program? It's just a matter of an hour or two".

"Are you participating in it? Have you prepared something?" He asked as you kept on insisting.

"I might have" was your reply.

"Oh then when did you practice? If you do extra curricular activities why didn't tell me before?" He asked.

"I did, I told you I don't like studying " you replied without loosing eye contact.

"right, you're so good in my class I almost forgot you didn't like history." He said.

"Well so see you tomorrow in college auditorium?"

"Yeah sure" saying this you both went on your own. You had the best idea to know if he has anywhere in his heart any love for women rather than Egypt. You prepared a song that night and took out your best dress, all set for the next day to stun the college and Mr Steven grant.

Next day you wore a long skirt that flaunted your legs perfectly and a shirt tucked in. Took your guitar and went to college. You were nervous so you stayed in green room, people and your classmates actually likes you, they came inside to wish you the best. Steven on the other hand entered the auditorium 5 minutes late . He asked a volunteer " hey has miss y/n ' s performance done ?"

"No sir it's after a few".

"Okay thank goodness" and he went to sit in the audience with other teachers. One of his colleagues said, "Hey? Mr Grant? You never attend such functions".

"My student is performing she urged me to come, and honestly I'm excited to see her."

"So she's just a student or...." Saying this the other teacher raised a brow.

"What?" He asked in utter confusion.

"Nothing" said he.

It was finally your turn. Lights were off when you went the stage. You sat in the middle with guitar in hand ans the lights were on. You found Steven in the crowd and looked at you, spellbound, eagerly waiting to hear you play and sing. You took a deep breath and started playing, then you started singing. You sang "very first night" by taylor swift.

With every line you sang steven's jaw dropped. He got lost.

As you sang, "I'd pick up you up and we go back in time .."

He remembered the first time how you two met.

With you singing, "not trying to fall in love, but we did like children running..."

He thought of what if both of you are growing feelings for each other.

As you sang and was done yours friends cheered clapped so were the teachers, you got lost in love . That you forgot to notice Steven .

He was spellbound with your beauty which he noticed for the first time, your musical talent which he discovered for the first time. he knew, that very moment he fell in love.

To be continued....

Tag list :- @mateihavenoidea and @ahookedheroespureheart

[fostercare-expat]

Fearless is really doing my head in with his self sabotage. He is about to turn 10. He just had an amazing weekend. He spent a night at my former husband’s place and was very well behaved. He spent 2 nights with me and was very well behaved. But Monday morning at his school care programme, they sent him home by 10am for misbehaving. His mom’s boyfriend was home, and in his mom’s instructions, he wasn’t allowed his phone or TV. Apparently he screamed at mom’s boyfriend for 3 hours until his mom got home from work. Then he screamed at her. She said he can’t be in the house and act this way and told him to stand outside in the hallway, he wouldn’t leave, she went to drag him out, he punched and kicked her, he even knocked out her contact from her eye. And he said horrible things to her with lots of bad words, and about what a horrible mother she is and how he doesn’t want to live with her anymore. Boyfriend tried to intervene and he tried to punch him too. It sounded really horrible. And they live in a crowded building where everyone has their windows open, so of course every neighbour heard. Eventually he laid down on the bed and went to sleep. He apologised the next day, but of course the is a lot of damage which can’t be undone.

His mom is so upset about the things he said. Personally I’m much more concerned about his kicking and punching. (Interesting cultural difference between his mom and I.)

His mom has contacted his counsellor, who said to give him a some time to cool off. I offered to come talk to him, but his mom said he still needs space, which is fair.

Before when there was violence at home 4 years ago, his behaviour made total sense. And then he had been removed from his mom’s care and his life felt very out of control, and it made sense. He's been back living with his mom for 3.5 years even, with basically zero violence and minimal change, other than his mom’s boyfriend’s moving in about 1.5 years ago (after 2 years of long distance dating), and that seems to have gone fairly smoothly and they have a good relationship.

But things have been very stable for while, it seems he seems like he's not stablizing. I guess trauma is an long lasting monster and this isn't much time in the life of a child, but I really thought things should be better by now. There are so many people pouring love into this kiddo. He has counselling, sports after school and weekend, private tutoring in his subject he struggles in, a positive same-race male figure in his life, extended family he is close with, a continuing relationship with his foster family (me), a bit of extra money in the family now that his mom is out of school and working, etc. Yet I guess it all just needs more time? I guess I just think he needs to step up and take some responsibility for his own behaviour now. Part of me feels like he’s causing a lot of his own problems logically I know he is 9 and I know trauma is long lasting and I know he’s not completely out of control, but I admit that I thought it would be better by now.

[whichwoods]

Who do each of the children take after? (In terms of looks and personality)♥️

anon i am kissing on the cheek for this <3 physical descriptions for people specifically is like my achilles's heel in my writing but i tried lmfao :') here are some messy thoughts about their babies!

naerys:

has wave-y platinum hair and brown eyes, gets freckles in the summer. has a bit of aemond's aquiline nose (sort of looks like a young rhaenyra with darker eyes and freckles?)

the happiest, most-loved baby girl on the planet <33333 so are her siblings but she gets the full early-20-somethings, naive and excited new parents experience

once she's like, 6ish months?? luke and aemond just start bringing her everywhere :') she gets comfortable around new people, places, and LOVES dragons (vhagar and arrax love her too, and so does her own hatchling, even if she's not allowed to get too close to her yet)

whip-smart like both her parents!! she develops a talent for high valyrian linguistics like luke has. she's also a complete nerd for history like aemond and luke

in general she's interested in so! many! things!! she has a habit of spreading herself a bit too thin a lot of the time but she's one of those academic weapon people that always pulls through :') her parents are Concerned but Proud because they can relate

remembers everything her siblings say ever

she was too young to remember aerea being born but she recalls being brought to the hospital by uncle jace to meet baelon after he's born as one of the most exciting days of her life <3

aerea:

has curly pale hair and brown eyes, freckles are a little more persistent :) people say she resembles luke a LOT

her egg doesn't hatch and she definitely has the same Kid Whose Egg Didn't Hatch Syndrome that aemond did 🥲 as well as that urge to Be The Best once she actually claims a dragon (more on that later!!)

(i will add though that luke and aemond are better parents than what they had by miles, and she's never made to feel less than by them or her siblings. feels important <3)

without fail will fall asleep on nae's shoulder during any car ride longer than 1.5 hours (like luke used to always do on aemond or jace)

definitely a bit of a shit-stirrer (luke and aemond are adamant she gets that from the other LMAO) it's okay because most of the incidents she causes are objectively funny

she tends to underplay her academic achievements like luke despite everything :') but she's wicked smart like both her parents; they wish she'd talk more about it

she's really into dance when she's little!! she's that kid who's always losing a shoe or prop in the middle of a group routine (but dancing through to earn them extra points 🫶🏻) cue aemond targaryen, prince of westeros, awkwardly shuffling through a crowd of moms like "excuse me, i think that's my daughter's shoe..."

baelon:

looks like a little aemond with dark hair and luke's eyes!!

thinks the world of his big sisters and parents <3 luke and aemond don't know where he got that from

he's also bad at high valyrian like aemond. when he's a kid he has to spend extra time with luke doing worksheets and drills on breaks and summer vacation :') luke's determined to get him fluent if it kills him (as in kills luke, not his son)

can talk a mile a minute when he's excited about something (both his parents), which is kind of... all the time. luckily he has adults in his life who are very interested in what he has to say (picture aemond double-tasking as he's feeding the dragons, "oh, really? wow. tell me what else happened at school")

when he's little he either sleeps spread-eagle or slumped over with his butt in the air like a cartoon character 😭 he's kicked aemond in the throat multiple times when they've let him in the bed (daeron has also done this to him when they were kids :// and ty that one time)

he is SCRAPPY like both of them smh luke has to put him in hockey and there are entire photo albums dedicated to their littlest baby in the mini penalty box <3 he's also literally the sweetest though?? so he somehow gets away with it

[thenightlymirror]

I am in the middle of a manic episode, so left work early. Took it easy, and went to bed at 5:30pm

Last week, Thursday, I woke up in the middle of the night realizing that a monument was installed in the wrong place. 1.5 feet too far to the right. I watched the granite company install this monument in the snow, and even then, I had no idea. I simply could not see what I was seeing. I got out of bed, showered, and drove to the cemetery early in the morning fog. There was a car already there, strangely enough. They left as I pulled up.

See, the counselor knew. That wasn’t the person there. I still have no idea who that was. But they sent me an email right before the blizzard, and it has been under snow and ice this whole time. When I went out there to install, I thought, no this is perfect.

Grounds has done nothing for me since before Christmas. Neither have my engravers (since Thanksgiving). All week, I have been waiting for one dry day to get things done.

That day was today.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Title Fight.

One of the counselors went on vacation, and right before, she handed me a file and said a family wanted a bench and had no idea what they wanted it to look like. They just had some stock photo of a sunset they wanted to use.

I asked her to give me just one sheet, one sheet with the names and everything, and she spasmed and shouted that she couldn’t! She just couldn’t right now. Jesus.

I wasn’t going to touch it at all, but it occurred to me that it might be pretty cool to have designed a bench right in the middle of the cremation garden. So, after getting home on Friday night, I sat around doing nothing for a few hours, and then drove back to the cemetery at night to take photos of the existing bench.

Anything could happen.

I came home and taught myself how to use Inkscape, a kind of free Illustrator. That took a minute. This was after I spent a night using GIMP to construct pasted together ideas. I honestly was so pumped up by my delusions of grandeur that I forgot I was cobbling together clip art from what looked like the world’s worst lower back tattoo.

So, I didn’t sleep for a few days.

Everyone else gets days off, but not me. For the last few months. Harper is always off. My bosses were out for the whole holiday black-out period, which made it seem like it was blacked out specifically so they could vacation.

When I try to fall asleep, I just have Title Fight’s “27” blasting in my head at what feels like an astonishing volume. That, or Cursive, or Joyce Manor, or Braid. I should have known I was going into a manic episode when I stopped compulsively listening to Elliott Smith. I always tell myself, don’t listen to Elliott Smith, you’re gonna trigger yourself. Well, it usually takes a week or two.

It wasn’t so bad. Sure, life is unbearable, but it could be sharply wounding, and it isn’t quite that.

I missed dinner with my friends tonight, which is fine. Last week, I was backing out of my friend’s driveway and sailed on the ice directly into her car. They’ve been a little frosty since. Though, that’s usually the case.

I watched Frank Capra’s You Can’t Take It with You, last week. It’s such a perfect little anarchist film. Like It’s A Wonderful Life, but a little further down the road. Harper mentioned she played Alice in a high school play once. I expressed familiarity, and she looked at me differently for the rest of the week, like I had actually seen her. It was nice. Alice in the movie does some incredible things, like getting introduced on screen picking up a telephone receiver with her mouth. She’s always moaning, “Tony!”

Is it morning yet?