#I thought that this would be obvious to any adult with a brain

[shynerdwantscuddles]

There is a big difference between a Jewish person making a joke about antisemitism and a non-Jew making an antisemitic joke. Some Jewish people cope with humor, sometimes dark humor. I’d go as far as to say that it’s probably part of our culture at this point. But there’s a big difference between Jews making jokes about being treated with suspicion and hatred and goyim making an antisemitic joke about us. One is a way of coping with our shared experience with antisemitism and making fun of antisemites beliefs; the other is punching down. I feel like I really shouldn’t need to explain this, but with the state of things, I guess I do.

[makoodles]

ミ the mightiest

part one | part two

🍓 pairing: neteyam x human fem reader

🍓tags: nsfw, aged up neteyam (obviously), jealousy, alien cultural misunderstandings, oral sex (f receiving) vaginal sex, size kink, voyeurism, brief na'vi oc x reader, mentions of reader sleeping with other na'vi men

masterlist

reblogs are always enormously appreciated!

notes: adult neteyam art created by the incredibly talented @cinetrix, whose work motivated me to write for adult neteyam in the first place!!

It was just a fluke, you tell yourself. A moment of weirdness that had come about because… because…

Okay, so you can’t really explain it.

You don’t like Neteyam! You never have! The sight of him appearing while you’re mid-rendezvous with Txetyo (the same man he had interrupted you with only a few days before!) should have sent you into an angry tailspin. And yet, you can’t forget the pulse of excitement that had throbbed low in your belly when you realised that he was standing there watching you.

Really, you should have been the one to speak up. But it was like your brain had switched off, like all your rational thoughts had gone on a temporary leave of absence; why else would you have stayed silent instead of stopping Txetyo and drawing attention to Neteyam’s presence?

Just like after your last confusing encounter with Neteyam in the healing hut, you end up sticking close to the human outpost for the next week.

It’s probably a little cowardly to hide instead of facing your problems head on, but you don’t care. You avoid Neteyam, you avoid Txetyo, you avoid any of the guys you’ve had flings with before because even the sight of them reminds you of what had happened that night in the forest. Inevitably, that leads to you avoiding the village entirely.

The outpost is as boring as ever, but it’s better than facing the mortification that’s no doubt awaiting you in the village. But at the very least, it’s not lonely.

Spider is kind enough to keep you company in the outpost for the first few days, though you quickly wish he wouldn’t. There’s not much to do, and Spider never deals well with boredom.

“Quit that.” You grit out, your eyes sliding sideways.

Spider is sitting next to you, drumming his fingers insistently on his thighs. He sighs, rolling his eyes up towards the ceiling and leaning back on the lumpy couch you’re both sprawled on.

“This is mind-numbing.” He complains, throwing his dirty bare feet over your thighs. “It’s so boring here. I don’t think I’ve ever spent this much time inside in my whole life.”

“You don’t have to be here.” You remind him, shoving his feet off you.

Spider sighs, swinging his legs back to the ground so he can sit up properly. “Right, sure. I could leave you here alone to mope all day by yourself in your dank little bedroom. Or you could tell me what’s going on with you.”

You grumble, and avert your eyes. Okay, so maybe your avoidance has been a little more obvious than you had intended. You’ve barely missed a day in the village your whole life, and yet in the last two weeks you’ve spent most of your time hiding out in the outpost.

“Nothing’s going on.” You say, and it rings hollow even to your own ears.

Spider purses his lips. He seems pointedly unconvinced, and stretches back on the couch with his arms across the back of the headrest.

“So it has nothing to do with whatever the hell happened when you went off with Txetyo during the hunt celebrations?”

You almost wince, but manage to keep your expression neutral as you stare at your knees. “Nope.”

Spider hums. “And I suppose the fact that Neteyam very conspicuously disappeared into the forest about ten seconds after you left is also unrelated.”

That cracks your composure, and you take a shaky breath as you glance sideways at Spider’s face. He doesn’t look like he’s judging you or anything; he’s just waiting patiently for your answer, a single eyebrow raised.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You mutter, avoiding his eyes.

There’s a long pause, and then Spider huffs out a sigh and tilts his head back to stare at the water-stained ceiling up above you. You feel a little bad about keeping secrets from him; usually you and Spider act as each other’s confidants by virtue of the fact that the two of you are humans the same age amongst all the Na’vi. But this whole mess with Neteyam is something that you’re struggling to wrap your own head around – you don’t want to start explaining the whole mortifying ordeal to someone who was as good as your brother.

“Lo’ak’ll get it out of you.” Spider says confidently.

You groan, covering your face with your hands. “Please tell me he’s not coming over.”

“He’s worried.” Spider protests. “You’ve been acting super weird, dude.”

“He’s nosey.” You correct.

Spider shrugs, unable to argue that point. “Well, whatever.”

It’s as if speaking his name summons him, because the shoddy linoleum floor creaks behind you as a big nine-feet-tall body steps into the room. You catch a glimpse of bright blue skin out of the corner of your eye and groan, tipping your head back against the back of the couch and closing your eyes.

“Seriously, I am not in the mood to be interrogated by the Idiot Brigade today.” You complain. “Can’t you come back and bother me another time?”

There’s a pause. And then, a low voice filled with amusement says, “Am I a member of this “idiot brigade?”

That is not Lo’ak’s voice.

For a moment, you don’t even turn around. You just breathe slowly, your eyes shut tight. Maybe if you don’t turn and look, Neteyam will just vanish from your presence as if he had never spoken at all.

But instead of Neteyam’s spontaneous disappearance, you get Spider shifting on the lumpy couch beside you before climbing to his feet. Your eyes shoot open at that, and your head whips around to stare at him in disbelief.

“Where are you going?” You hiss, already reaching out after him.

Spider stops, hesitates, his eyes flicking between you and Neteyam. He looks as though he would rather be literally anywhere other than here; you know the feeling.

“Uh… I’m gonna go find Lo’ak.” Spider mutters, his eyes darting around cagily. “Seems like you two probably need time to talk some things out.”

Before you can even protest that, Neteyam is stepping forward, marching his way around the couch. You sit up, properly startled now, realising that your window for escape is rapidly narrowing.

“Tell Lo’ak not to come.” Neteyam says simply, stepping nimbly around the couch so that he’s in front of you. It’s like he knows that you were thinking of an escape, because he tilts his head as a subtle smile tugs at his mouth.

“Yeah. Got it.” Spider sounds a little strangled, sending you a look that you can’t quite decipher before turning and scampering out the door, letting it slide shut behind him with a quiet thud.

You stare at him for a long moment, your mouth hanging open like a moron. Neteyam just stares back, his expression even, as though he’s waiting for you to speak first.

You swallow thickly, then push yourself up so that you’re standing. It’s a weak attempt to put yourself on a more even level with him, but it fails as you find yourself eye-level with his damn belly button.

“What are you doing here?” You snap, though it comes out a little weaker than you had intended.

Neteyam doesn’t answer immediately. Instead he gingerly lowers himself down onto the ancient lumpy couch that you and Spider had commandeered for yourselves from the desolate wreckage of Bridgehead. He’s almost comically large for it, his knees bent awkwardly up as he settles back, the springs creaking ominously.

“You have been avoiding the village.” He says simply.

And… oh god, you can’t stop staring. It’s stupid, because you’ve known Neteyam your whole life, you know what he looks like. But it’s like your eyes are taking him in differently now. You hadn’t spent much time with him as kids; you were always chasing after Lo’ak, Kiri, and Spider, and Neteyam usually maintained a distance as he trained under the guidance of his parents. And then he was gone, departed for the reef villages, only to return after the worst of the war years had passed.

But it’s different now. He’s a man, his shoulders broader than ever and his muscles more defined than is typical of the Omaticaya warriors – no doubt thanks to his time in the reefs with the bulkier Metkayina.

Your mouth is a little dry; it’s not a good time to be reminded that you find big, muscly Na’vi men really, really attractive.

“Yeah.” You say, your voice scratchy. “Uh… I’ve been busy.”

Neteyam’s hairless brow raises in an unspoken gesture of doubt as he leans back into the couch. Your eyes dart down nervously over his abdomen. Each sculpted abdominal muscle speaks of his physical prowess and the sheer discipline and dedication to his training, and his slim waist is accentuated by the woven battle band around his waist. Fuck, you want to touch his belly.

You can hardly believe that you had this man’s cock in your hand, or that he had been grunting and fucking your fist. Maybe you had hallucinated that. Looking at him like this, taking in his big amber eyes and strong jawline and high cheekbones, you’re reminded rather harshly of just why he’s one of the most sought-after men in the village by the unmated Omaticaya girls. It seems unlikely that he’d ever lower himself to allow himself to be touched by you.

And yet, you know you hadn’t hallucinated him standing only mere feet from you in the forest, watching intently as Txetyo had railed you into the mossy ground.

As if he knows what you’re thinking, Neteyam speaks again. “Avoiding Txetyo? I do not blame you.

You almost choke at that. Good lord, the audacity of this man. He knows perfectly well that you’ve also been trying to avoid him, judging by the smug look on his face.

“No! He- he wasn’t so bad.” You protest, though the words ring unconvincingly in your own ears.

“Tawtute, you’re so tight!” Neteyam gasps mockingly, lowering his voice into a dude-bro register that decidedly does not sound like Txetyo. “Fuck, you’re so wet, I’m gonna cum—"

You squawk, hastily stepping forward to swat ineffectually at his shoulder. “Will you shut up, that’s not what–“

Neteyam grabs at your wrist when you smack his shoulders, his long fingers wrapping all the way around you before tugging. You stagger, pulled off balance as he tugs you onto the couch beside him. You end up with your limbs in an ungainly sprawl as you attempt to collect yourself beside him, flustered behind belief. He doesn’t let go of your wrist.

“And he– he made me finish, so.” You say lamely. You’re sitting next to him. Why are you sitting next to him? You should be trying to shove him up off the couch and shoo him out the door.

“I’m pretty sure you made yourself come.” Neteyam corrects, his head tilting. His glossy braids spill over his shoulders, colourful beads clicking together. “Which wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t there, by the way.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just pointing out the obvious.” Neteyam’s smug little grin is growing, and he leans in a little closer. “I don’t think you were enjoying it at all until I showed up.”

You gape at him, stunned.

“I- you-!” You stammer, your breath catching from the sheer swell of your indignation. Who does he think he is, showing up here all muscled and gorgeous like this only to embarrass you?

“Speak for yourself!” You finally manage to splutter, trying to sit up on the couch; Neteyam’s grip on your wrist prevents you from going too far, so you give up and resign yourself to being stuck beside him until he grows bored of tormenting you. “Txetyo was– That was pretty much par for the course. I mean– it wasn’t unusual, sometimes that’s just how sex goes–“

Neteyam sits up straight, so suddenly that it startles you. His brow is furrowed, his eyes flicking rapidly over your face as though he’s trying to assess if you’re being honest.

He’s… he’s leaning in rather close to you. You blink at him, but don’t move back. It’s so rare for you to be around Neteyam without your respirator mask acting like a shield over your face, and you feel a little naked now without it.

“That was a standard experience for you?” He asks, and his voice has… changed a little. That smug amusement on his face has vanished, replaced with what looks like bewilderment.

You scoff at his surprise, rolling your eyes. “Shouldn’t you know what my standard experience is? You’ve interrupted enough of them.”

He doesn’t respond to your snarky remark. He just stares at you as if he’s examining you, and you shift awkwardly on the couch, unsure in the face of his scrutiny.

“What, you’re surprised that all men aren’t sex gods?” You ask a little testily. “They want to experiment with a Sky Person, and I like sex with Na’vi men, so… win-win.”

Neteyam just frowns, pulling back a little. “No, that’s not… I don’t understand. Why do you spend time with them if they are not successful in pleasuring you?”

Boy, is that a loaded question. You don’t want to explain to Neteyam that it’s not really about sex, that it’s more about a pathological need for physical connection and comfort, especially when you try your very hardest not to think about it yourself.

“Maybe I’m just hoping one of them will really impress me.” You mumble, a little sourly. “I guess I’ll keep holding out hope.”

Neteyam’s ears flatten, pressing low against his head as his eyes widen a little. He shifts, his body looming over you like a big blue behemoth as the couch springs squeal beneath his weight.

“I could.” He says. “Impress you, I mean.”

You snort, glancing up at him with a wry sort of smile that falls off your face almost immediately when you see the look on Neteyam’s face. His expression is perfectly earnest, his jaw set and his pupils dilated with an odd sort of urgency that you’ve never seen from him. He… he doesn’t look as though he’s making fun of you at all.

“What?” You croak, blinking.

And then you realise what all this about. Neteyam is always so determined to prove himself, to be the best at everything. He’s always pushed himself beyond his limits and worked himself to the bone to be stronger and faster and wiser, to be a better leader and a better hunter and a better fighter. You probably shouldn’t even be surprised that now he’s decided to prove that he’s better than his peers at fucking you, too.

“This is just a competition for you, isn’t it?” You scoff, yanking your wrist out of his hand. He shifts forward on the couch then as though preparing to catch you if you move to run, but you’re not making any move to leave.

“No. They are not worthy competitors.” Neteyam scoffs as if the question is absurd. “This is to prove to you that you have been wasting your time with men who are not capable of pleasing you.”

You scoff again, but it’s a much weaker sound this time. “I–”

“You have bad taste in men, paskalin.” Neteyam murmurs, shuffling closer on the ancient couch.

You stare up at him, your breath catching a little in your chest. God, he’s so much bigger than you. You hate that it’s making your body heat up, and you feel yourself growing wet as he leans in close, smelling like fresh water and the forest.

“Are you going to let me?” Neteyam whispers, reaching out to trace a finger along your jawline. “Let me prove myself.”

You should say no. You should tell him to leave, to get out. You should absolutely not feed into his own ego by fucking him.

“Yes,” You breathe stupidly. “Okay.”

You’re expecting him to grab you immediately and flip you around onto either your back or stomach; in all your previous experiences, you’ve gotten right down to it with your partners. But to your surprise, Neteyam leans in and holds your hips with his big hands as he presses his mouth to yours in a kiss.

Kissing is not something that you’re used to; the Na’vi you’ve hooked up with have stayed clear of the human outpost, unlike the Sully kids who had paid frequent visits, which means that all of your sexual encounters have occurred in the forest or in empty corners in the village with your respirator mask firmly attached to your face.

Now your face feels naked and vulnerable, and you gasp shakily against Neteyam’s mouth when he leans in and kisses you firmly.

It’s slow and deep, at first. All-consuming. It lights a fire in your gut, which expands and spreads throughout your body.

Neteyam doesn’t just kiss with his mouth, either. He kisses with his hands, his whole body. He clutches you to him, holding you close even as the force of his kiss bends you backward, your body pressing into the raggedy couch cushions.

At the same time, it’s all you can do to concentrate and respond to the kiss itself, your attention stretched and strained by the feeling of Neteyam’s hands running over you, stroking your sides and clutching your neck and squeezing your ass.

“Hah,” You gasp out when Neteyam’s lips slide sideways to find the corner of your jaw. His mouth is hot against your skin, bruising, and you’re embarrassingly wet already, just from a little kissing.

Fuck, he’s a good kisser. That’s so annoying.

You run out of breath too fast, and you have to gasp. Neteyam breaks the kiss for barely even a second, and shifts some of his weight to his elbows as he follows you down onto the couch, nuzzling and nipping at your jaw before returning to your mouth.

There’s a hand on either side of your head during that blink-and-you-miss-it break in the kiss, but then he moves his big hands to hold onto your face like they’re afraid you’ll escape, and now they don’t want to let go at all. One of his hands cups your jaw, the other clasping around the back of your neck and tilting your head farther back, deeper into the couch, opening you up. You think about the fact that he can thread his fingers together behind your head with his palms pressed to your cheeks and nearly moan like a whore into his mouth.

Neteyam’s eagerness surprises you. The kiss is messy and graceless and airless and greedy, frantic and full of teeth, and you can only roll your hips in reflex, in mindless desperation, in a feeble attempt to buck, your mind repeating a refrain of yes holy shit holy shit YES. You can’t even squirm, because holy hot fuck Neteyam is heavy, and he’s got every inch of you covered and owned.

God, have you always been this easy? Just kiss you, feel you up a little and want you enough and you’ll end up happily whimpering under someone on the couch? Even someone like Neteyam, who you’ve been so resentful of for so long?

You spread your thighs, and Neteyam’s narrow hips slot into place like a damn puzzle piece. Neteyam hums a small laugh and pauses, pulls back an inch or so, gazing steadily at your lips and smoothing the tips of his thumbs back and forth over your cheekbones. He takes a moment to fumble with his respirator and takes a deep breath before dropping it and leaning down to kiss you again.

“Oh, fuck.” You whimper, your eyes fluttering shut when his hips roll fluidly against you.

You pull back from the kiss, just enough to get a look at his face. His eyes are a little clouded, his lips puffy and spit-slicked. He looks dazed, and there's a thin line of saliva connecting your mouths together. His brow scrunches in a frown, as though you pulling away from him is a personal offence.

Oh god, you think. I'm so fucked.

The hand that had been cupping your cheek releases you, slides down your body as well. Your breath hitches when he passes over your breasts, drags down the plush skin of your belly, before reaching in between your thighs to cup at your pussy over your clothes. His hand tightens, grabbing you. Cunt, pubic bone, the whole shebang, all of it right there in the palm of Neteyam’s shockingly big hand.

“Bedroom.” You gasp, your head spinning as he just holds your cunt over your denim shorts. “Bedroom now.”

Neteyam grins, and wraps his arms around your waist to haul you into his arms before he lifts you off the couch and practically staggers down the hall. His excitement surprises you, and you cling to his neck as he ducks his way through the corridor.

Mercifully the outpost is quiet today, with most of its human occupants out in the forest or in the village – that means there’s no one around the witness the sight of Neteyam’s enormous blue ass squeezing himself in through the small doorway of the closet-like bedroom you’d claimed for yourself, with you dangling from his arms like a doll.

You’re still breathing hard when Neteyam clumsily gets the door shut before placing you on your squeaky old bed, following you down on it. He’s careful not to crush you with the bulk of his body, instead resting his weight on his forearms where they’re planted on either side of your head.

The consideration makes something squirm in your belly, and you reach up to intertwine your fingers at the back of his head and pull him down to resume kissing him.

Neteyam rolls his hips into yours, and you can feel the thick ridge of his erection pressing into the seam of your shorts, right over your clit. The sound you make is absolutely humiliating, and you will deny ever making it until your last breath, but you twitch as you try to catch that exact same friction again.

And fuck, kissing like this may be new to you, but you never want to stop. You didn’t even know that kissing with tongue could feel so erotic; Neteyam’s hands are on your face again, angling you this way and that way and however the fuck Neteyam feels like angling you, and goddamn he must be doing it just because he can.

You try desperately to remember any little kissing tricks you’ve learned and draw a pathetic blank. Luckily, Neteyam seems intent on showing off. His creativity is more than enough to occupy you both, and you’re too busy being excruciatingly horny to really be self-conscious anyway.

Besides, your next exhale is a chest-rattling groan, and if Neteyam’s immediate grunt of approval and slow thirsty grind against your trapped body is any indication, then you're doing just fine by his standards.

But then, to your absolute distress, Neteyam pulls away.

“Hhh — Shit! Shit, hang on. Shit.” Neteyam hisses, turning his face away and levering himself up on his arms. He’s breathing hard, and the sound of the English curse words falling out of his mouth in that strained tone of voice has your thighs squeezing together pathetically.

“What?” You ask, your voice sounding dazed and stupid even to your own ears.

Neteyam huffs out a few centering breaths and then shakes out his head to clear it. He fumbles for the respirator, takes several deep gulps of air before dropping it again. He angles his hips away from you for a moment, breathing steadily.

“Why’d you stop?” You hate the way the words come out as a whine; you feel as though you’re losing your mind, as though you’re actually going to die if he doesn’t keep kissing you.

Neteyam breathes out a quiet laugh, sounding a little disbelieving as he drops his forehead down to rest on your shoulder.

“Fuck.” He whispers, but he doesn’t answer your question. Instead, he pushes himself down your body, sliding between your legs.

When he tugs your shorts, you lift your hips eagerly to help him shuck your pants off. As he’s tugging at your panties, you work on yanking your oversized pyjama shirt off you. It feels as though the two of you are descending into a frenzy, touching and kissing and tearing at each other like animals.

When you’re naked beneath him you shiver, staring up at him in eager anticipation. You wait for him to come back up and kiss you, to take his own loincloth off and stick his cock into you, but he doesn’t. Instead, his head bullies its way in between your thighs.

“No,” You whine, making a face. You don’t want him to waste time with eating you out when you’re ready now. “Just put it in.”

Neteyam shoots you a reproachful look as though he thinks you’re acting crazy. “You said you would let me please you.”

“But–” You frown, feeling a little ridiculous for having this conversation when his big head is blinking up at you from between the pudge of your thighs. “You don’t have to. I don’t enjoy getting head all that much anyway.”

But instead of changing his mind, that just makes him snort as though you’d told a damn joke.

“Let me show you, syulang.” He whispers, turning his head and brushing his lip over the soft skin of your inner thigh. He kisses you there, and then sucks a hickey-like bruise into the squidge there.

And damn, you can’t turn him down.

“Fine.” You sigh, a little irritated, and spread your legs wider so that Neteyam can muscle his way in.

He grins as if he knows something you don’t, grabs your legs and pulls them so your thighs are hanging off his big broad shoulders. You can feel his warm breath ghosting over you between your legs, and you prepare to lie back and let him lick you down there until he deems you’re wet enough to start fucking you properly.

But then he actually gets his mouth on you, and… oh. Oh.

You tilt your head back, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. That feels… better than you had expected, actually.

Each of Neteyam’s movements are calculated, precise. He laps against your clit, then closes his lips and sucks. You nearly yelp, but manage to tamp down on your reaction and merely wheeze instead. Neteyam points his tongue and presses inside of you, sucks and licks like he’s actually eating something. At one point, he even bites, and you jerk so hard that you accidentally grind against his face.

It’s not like any of the head you have ever received. You’ve enjoyed it before, sure, but it’s never felt like this, and it’s definitely never made you come. And yet, to your honest surprise, you can feel a familiar coil of tension beginning to build deep in your abdomen.

“Oh god.” You breathe, sounding a little bewildered.

You feel his tongue against your clit again, hardly noticing that his hands are gripping at your ass until he yanks you forward as he buries his whole damn face between your legs. His fingers return, delving into you, deep and searching. His mouth works against your clit and it feels like you’re being squeezed between the kinds of pleasure, worshipped and wrung out and attacked all at once.

“Neteyam,” You gasp like a fool. “Oh, what the fuck, it– Neteyam, hang on, it’s too–”

Neteyam is still devouring you, sucking hard and persistent until you cry out. You try to clench your thighs around his head as he laps at you like a man starved, but his hands are still on your thighs, locking you in an iron grip, keeping you spread wide for him, and you can hardly breath because every time you think to try and take a breath his tongue is moving over your clit again and he’s sucking against you.

Your head swims, and you wonder why on earth you had been so resistant to allow him to make you feel good like this. Fuck, have you just been getting really bad head this whole time? You didn’t even know it could feel like this.

Your heels are digging into his back, and the closer he brings you to the edge the harder your thighs clamp around his head. He barely seems to notice the force you’re exerting, merely groaning to himself everytime you squeeze tighter.

Your thoughts splinter and unravel, and you can do nothing but buck uselessly against his hold, desperately chasing more of his lips and his tongue.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.” You chant, eyes squeezed shut tight as you whine.

He's just so good with his tongue, and you’ve never felt like this in your life. It feels as though you can't breathe properly, as though you’re melting from the inside out. None of those awkward, fumbling sexual encounters with those other Na’vi ever had you feeling like this.

Your breasts are heaving with the effort it takes just to breathe through the white hot pleasure crashing through you, and you stare down at him with wide eyes as he suckles again at your clit. When he sees you looking down at him, he throws you a cheeky wink as he laps at you.

You let out a helpless, gasping laugh at him, your hands clenching compulsively in his braids. Your giggle has him pulling back a little so he can look up at you properly; the grin he shoots you is extra shiny thanks to the fact that the lower half of his face is covered in his spit and your own slick, but he looks dopey and happy.

You manage one word, on a long and broken moan- “Please!”

Neteyam laughs quietly, the sound vibrating through his lips and into your pussy, but then his tongue is on your clit again, sucking you into his mouth, and you’re shattering around him as he finally pushed you over that edge you’ve been teetering on.

You keen and shake violently, spasming around Neteyam’s fingers and jerking into his mouth, coming so hard that you see black spots in your vision. Neteyam doesn’t let up, pulling broken moans out of you with tongue until you’re writhing.

You squirm and whimper until suddenly it’s too damn much, and then you’re reaching down to push at Neteyam’s neat braids to try to get away from his relentless tongue. Damn, he’s acting like he’s hungry for you, like he’d swallow you whole if he could. He doesn’t let up until you’re begging him to, albeit wordlessly �� whimpering and shoving at his face, trying to arch away from the too-sensitive touch.

Finally, Neteyam relents. He lowers your legs from his shoulders and you practically crumple, going limp against your mattress. Neteyam’s face is wet and shiny, and he looks ridiculously smug. You’re still trembling, throbbing with the aftershocks.

“Mm, you sound so pretty.” Neteyam murmurs, his words coming out muffled and almost slurred as though he’s drunk.

“Fuck.” You whisper to yourself, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes as you struggle to catch your breath.

Neteyam hums, pressing kisses all over your pubic mound and lower belly. He seems so damn pleased with himself, pushing himself up your body so that he can nuzzle into your neck, pressing sweet nipping kisses to your throat.

His breathing is a little strained, and you grab blindly at the respirator hanging around his neck before bringing the mask up to his face.

“Breathe, Neteyam.” You gasp out, still a little breathless yourself.

He grunts, as though irritated over something of secondary importance, and takes a couple of deep breaths before dropping the mask again. His pupils are blown so wide that his iris is barely visible, just a thin ring of gold around a pool of black.

You laugh, panting and overwhelmed at the sight of his shiny face, and reach up to wipe his slick face with the palms of your hands. He huffs a quiet laugh of his own, turning his face towards your hands and nuzzling against you like an oversized cat.

“That was… that was better than I expected.” You say, still struggling to collect yourself.

Neteyam’s smile turns a little sly, his teeth flashing as he kisses at your palms. “Impressed?”

And you can’t help but laugh at that, feeling as though this whole situation is spinning around far beyond your wildest imagination. Fuck, he’s really giving his all to this, just to prove to you that he’s superior to the other men of the clan.

“Not yet.” You whisper, biting your lip and hoping that he takes it as the challenge/invitation you mean it to be.

And luckily he does, his smile only growing.

“I should keep going then.” He murmurs, his hands stroking up your sides.

He gently caresses both breasts, a little knead of big, rough hands that can cover much more than just one tit and you love it. Your back arches as you shiver, revelling in how bizarrely gentle he’s being with you.

“Yes,” You whisper eagerly, your legs spreading further until the muscles of your inner thighs are burning with the strain of it. “You definitely should.”

You reach out to tug at the band of his loincloth, your fingers actually trembling a little as you try to unknot it at the sides. Neteyam’s own breath hitches, and his much more nimble fingers reach to help you untie it and draw it away.

And fuck, now he’s naked too. You sit up eagerly, peering down between your bodies to try and catch a look at him properly. You may have touched him that day in the healing hut, but it’s completely different seeing him.

He’s big. So big. All the Na’vi are big when compared to you, of course, but this just… it feels different, because this is Neteyam. His cock is the same pretty blue shade as the rest of him, decorated with darker stripes and pretty glowing tanhì. Your heart thumps recklessly at sight of it twitching towards his belly, and you reach out towards it eagerly.

Your small fingers wrap around the hard length of him — he’s too thick for you to comfortably hold in one hand, but that doesn’t seem to matter because he groans appreciatively anyway when you run your fingers down his length and then back up, feeling warm and sticky precome gushing from the tip to coat your fingers.

“Ah!” Neteyam groans breathily, his hips rocking as your hand slides up the long, velvety length of him. “Fuck… so good.”

You feel like you’re burning up, your skin sweat-slick and far too hot. The weight of his cock in your hand has your head spinning; you want him inside of you, stretching you wide and fucking you deep. If he fucks as good as he eats pussy, you feel like you’re in for a very good time.

“C’mon,” You breathe, writhing a little. “You– you promised me that you’d.. That you would…”

“Mm, I promised I’d make you feel better than Txetyo ever could,” Neteyam finishes for you, leaning in to kiss your neck. “You like ‘em big and stupid, huh? That’s why they can’t please you, syulang.”

You toss your head back, your eyes fluttering shut as his sharp canines drag over the sensitive skin at the side of your throat. Fuck, maybe he’s right. None of those guys have ever made you feel this good before; you don’t think you’ve ever been this slick and eager in your whole life.

“God, you have such a big head,” You huff, quivering. “Maybe you’re big and stupid too.”

He just laughs at that, a dark chuckle that has your nerves buzzing, and leans down to nip at your shoulder hard enough to make you jerk beneath him. “I am not like Txetyo, or Art’alak, or Pewalsku, or Urtiltey.”

You scoff, before reaching up to push hard at his shoulders. You’re not actually strong enough to shift him, but he pulls back obediently, falling back to lay on his back on the bed. You rise up on your knees then, looming over him as he lays flat.

The way Neteyam is looking up at you, it’s like he’s seeing god. If he could worship you with just a look alone, he is. It’s a little overwhelming, and you feel something deep in your stomach knot just at the sight of him looking at you like that.

“Prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen.” Neteyam whispers, reaching out to grip at your hips, guiding you into straddling his lap.

You don’t think anyone has ever talked to you like this, or looked at you like this. You hardly know what to do in the face of his attention, so you revert to what you’re familiar with; you settle yourself against his lap and grind there, feeling the length of his cock glide along the seam of your cunt.

It feels as though your belly has been set alight, and you take a slow breath as you rock against him. His lips drag from the base of your throat up the length of your neck, then he nips gently at the hinge of your jaw. The softness of his breath against the sensitive skin of your throat elicits a shiver from you, and Neteyam’s hands pull you closer when he feels your reaction.

You make a soft sound against his mouth when his fingers clench tight around your hips. His hold on you encourages you to grind down against him. It's not as though you really need the encouragement, but the way his eyes darken as he stares up at you is enough motivation for you to tilt your hips and grind down just like he wants you to.

"Fuck." He breathes, his eyes going half-lidded as he tilts his head back against your bed to watch you move above him.

Heat is growing alarmingly quickly in your lower belly and at the apex of your thighs, and you tremble over Neteyam as you use your grip on his shoulders for leverage. The soft sounds of pleasure that are pulled out of his throat every time you roll yourself against him send sparks through your entire nervous system; it feels as though you just can't get close enough to him.

Your patience runs out, unable to keep up the teasing; Neteyam seems to feel much the same. When you raise yourself up, chest heaving, Neteyam grabs at his cock and holds it still to allow you to settle against it, the head notched against your entrance. He glides over the opening again, pressing in the barest amount. You can already tell it’s going to be a stretch. Neteyam is thick, and you want it in you, want to feel it pressing you open.

You clench around the head of his cock, trying to pull him in, and Neyeyam groans.

“You’re—” He starts to say, his big hands clutching at your hips. “Shit. You’re tighter than I even imagined, paskalin.”

The idea that he might have imagined this is almost more than you can take, and you surge forward to kiss him again, your mouths clashing clumsily.

“You—you thought about it?” You manage to say, your words coming out a little muffled as he sucks at your lower lip.

He just rumbles a laugh, as though your question is ridiculous, and doesn’t even bother answering. Instead he places one hand securely under your ass, the other adjusting himself—there’s a short, sharp burst of pain as you felt him start to push in, just the tip and your head is spinning. Your nails are digging into his shoulders but if he feels anything it doesn’t show.

He kisses your cheek and then pushes in a little deeper as his mouth falls to yours once more—swallowing up your sharp cry as another inch sinks into you, and you feel like you’re splitting open.

Fuck, you feel as though not grabbing lube was probably a mistake; you were too cocky, too confident in your ability to take him, so sure that he’d be as adequately satisfactory as the other Na’vi men you’ve been with.

He goes in and in and in, pressing farther into you than you even thought was possible. The stretch and the pressure inside you is glorious, so tight that you can barely even flex around him. His mouth is open, each breath escaping him quickly, and you can see your own amazement reflected back to you on Neteyam’s face.

You dig your nails into his shoulders to offset the pain radiating through your core as he shoves himself deeper into you, chased by another wave of warmth as his free hand move between you, thumb settling gently over your clit.

“Ohmygod,” You gasp, pleasure mixing with that burning ache. You squeal, but your noises are half-moans as you try to rock your hips against his hand even as you try to ease the feeling of his girth inside you.

“Ungh..” Neteyam groans into you shoulder as he rocks another inch into you, until you’re sobbing and moaning by turns. “Oh. Fuck. Txetyo didn’t deserve this, syulang. Didn’t know what to do with you.”

You whimper in his grip as he just holds you there, buried to the hilt, thumb still working at your clit and sending frissons of electricity up and down your spine.

“Feels good,” You slur. “You feel good.”

Neteyam pulls out half an inch and fucks back into you from below, making your breath hitch. “Yeah?”

“So big,” You gasp. “I-I want—"

“I know, I know. I’ve got you,” Neteyam rumbles, his full lips brushing gentle kisses over your temple, right in your hairline. “Take what you want, lovely girl.”

And you do, rocking your hips and taking one of his enormous hands to pull between your legs so he can continue to rub at your clit with his fingers, so he can feel all the ways you’re leaking onto him as you lean forward to run your own hungry mouth along his collarbone, his pecs, as your hands grip his shoulders to try and lift yourself up and onto him over and over again.

It doesn’t take long for that coil in your belly to swell, sweet and hot. It’s as if Neteyam is intimately familiar with the way you want him to rub your clit, how you want it pinched but only just so between two fingers, as if he’s been taking fucking notes all those times he had walked in and interrupted you. It doesn’t take long until you’re trembling and squeezing impossibly tight around him, taut like a violin string.

It’s like Neteyam is puncturing your lungs, and every time he fucks into you, you respond with stupid sounding little ‘ah’ sounds.

“Ah, ah, ah!” You gasp, teary-eyed and desperate. Neteyam’s mouth is parted, his eyes wide. They flick over you quickly, drinking you in as you ride him.

Your movements are slow to build, but gradually you establish a steady, desperate rocking. It doesn't take long for you to realise that grinding in his lap feels better than raising yourself all the way up and down. Distantly, you feel little guilty — you know that grinding and rocking in his lap in the way that you are feels better for you than it does for Neteyam, but he doesn't seem to mind. He's watching you with a rapturous expression, his arms urging you closer so that your sweat-slicked chests are pressed close together and your foreheads are resting against each other.

You find a rhythm that both satisfies and stokes you, riding him with abandon as your thighs clench tight around his narrow hips. Neteyam’s hands slide from your hips down over your lower back, worshipful as they drift lower to clutch at your ass and use his grip there to help lift you up and down.

You ride him with mindless intent. His fingers dig at the meat of your ass, his mouth dropped softly open as he fights to keep his own breaths even — it takes a long moment for you to realise that he's fighting to keep himself still and to stop himself from thrusting wildly into you. His restraint and the realisation that he's really allowing you to have all the power in the exchange strikes you hard. You’ve never felt any real sense of agency in sexual intimacy until now, and the realisation that he's being so considerate of how you’re feeling only contributes to the intensifying of those flutters in your belly.

The rush builds in you, relentless, mounting with every jerk of your hips. There would be no catching your breath until it broke.

You rock on him, hard, hard and fast and there, there it is, that’s it — that perfect deep unfurling. A moan rises from the depths of your chest as you gasp at it, your body trembling. Neteyam just stares up at you, mouth open, eyes gone wide and dark.

The wave crests, the world explodes around you, a kaleidoscope of sensation as you come undone in his arms, trembling even as he keeps sliding home into you. You keep moving over him through the ebb of it, through the helpless little sounds that break from his throat. You’re still shuddering when he reaches up to take a firm hold of your waist. As though he can't help himself, his hips thrust up into you.

“Yes,” Neteyam hisses, his flat nose all scrunched up in a feral sort of pleasure. “That’s my girl.”

You tremble, gasp-moaning as your joints turn to jelly. Your orgasm very slowly gives way to thunderous aftershocks that rocket through your body every few seconds, shuddering your whole frame in intervals.

"Fuck," He groans, his breathing gone ragged. "I'm going to-"

He doesn't even finish his sentence before he seems to lose some of that iron control he's been exerting; his hips jolt up into you, and then again, until he's thrusting up into you with a sense of urgency that's almost breath-taking. All you can do is cling onto his hair and bury your face into the crook of his neck, attempting to muffle the embarrassing little gasping sounds that you’re making into his skin as his fucking into you prolongs the breath-taking pleasure of your orgasm.

You don’t fuss when his big hands use his grip on your ass to lift you up himself, fucking up into you and letting loose. Then he's shaking, stilling, spilling himself inside you, and you watch eagerly as his face goes slack and relaxed.

You don't go still immediately. Your hips keep rolling slow and steady as you tremble against him, chasing that feeling of molten shivery pleasure that's still burning in your belly even as it starts to turn into almost unbearable oversensitivity. It's not a fully conscious movement, as you’re moving mostly on instinct, and after a few moments Neteyam takes a hold of your hips to slow you to a stop.

He stays inside you like this for what feels like an eternity, spent and nestled deep inside you as you sit in his lap, slumped against his large strong chest.

"Oh my god," You whisper eventually as another pleasant shudder jolts down your spine. It feels as though you’ve been kicked in the chest, as though the breath has been knocked out of you entirely to make room for the lovely floaty lightness that's beginning to fill the space between your ribcage”

"Mm." Neteyam hums quietly, his fingers tightening in the soft flesh of your hips as he tilts his chin up to brush his lips over your sweaty temple. "Alright?”

No, You think, with no small amount of panic. You’re absolutely not alright. Neteyam may have just been fucking you to prove a point, because it’s always been so important to him that he’s perfect at everything he tries his hand at, but it feels as though he’s just cracked you wide open. You don’t think anyone will ever make you feel as good as he just did.

When you don’t immediately answer, one of his big palms cups the back of your neck so he can tilt your head back, and he leans down to kiss you again. He sucks your swollen bottom lip into his mouth so he can worry at it while you whine, toes curled where you tucked them under your legs, balanced on his thighs.

"Impressed?” He murmurs into your ear, his warm, dry hands stroking soothingly over your sweat-dampened skin.

You laugh despite yourself, and it comes out breathless and broken. “Fuck. I—yeah. Yeah. I’m impressed. Asshole.”

Neteyam’s expression brightens, his ears twitch back as his smile grows. He leans in and kisses you again, once, twice, then three times in quick succession, and out of the corner of your eye you see his tail coiling lazily against your sheets.

“Feel like I need to lay down,” You say. “For a week maybe.”

Neteyam just chuckles as you slowly lift your hips; when Neteyam slides out of you a soft sound of loss escapes from his mouth. You sympathise — you feel uncomfortably empty now that he's no longer nestled inside of you, but Neteyam is already gathering you into his arms and flopping back onto your mattress with you all curled up ontop of his chest.

It all feels so natural — you’ve never cuddled after intimacy like this, and you never would have imagined that Neteyam would allow you to do this. But it seems like he craves physical touch as badly as you does, because it feels as though his hands are everywhere as he holds you.

"Don't look so pleased with yourself, dickhead." You grumble, though you’re already relaxing under the pleasant warm weight of his hands

Neteyam’s smile only grows. "Why shouldn't I be pleased with myself? Have I left you unsatisfied?

You groan loudly, before burying your face in the pillow. The worst part is that it's true — you’ve never felt so satisfied in your life. You think that you could close your eyes and cheerfully float away on a cloud, but you don't want to suffer the humiliation of admitting that.

“I’m satisfied.” You admit, mortified. “It— yeah. You won that stupid competition. Well done.”

That has exactly the effect you had expected it to have; Neteyam’s chest puffs up where you’re laying across it, his eyes crinkling up as he grins. God, he’s so fucking smug.

You manage to swallow down your embarrassment so that you can ask the question that’s been knocking around your head since the first time he had kissed you.

“Can we… do that again, sometime?” You mutter, keeping your face pressed into his chest so he can’t see the vulnerability on your face.

Neteyam’s chest rumbles in a deep laugh, and his large palm settles between your shoulderblades.

“Whenever you want, yawntutsyìp. We have all the time in the world.” He murmurs, nuzzling his face into your hair. “Where ever you want. Here, the forest, my hut in the village—”

You laugh, blinking in surprise at his eagerness. You guess he must be absolutely pussy-whipped right now, which is pretty sweet.

“Next time we mate, we’ll do it in the forest so Txetyo can find us.” He says, and you can feel his teeth against the top of your head when he grins. “Let him watch as I make you scream again.”

"I did not scream!" You snap, embarrassed, reaching to smack at his chest. But then his words actually parse in your head, and you push yourself up quickly on top of his chest so you can look down at him, wincing a little at the ache between your legs.

Neteyam obviously catches your wince because he frowns and one of his hands reaches for your thigh, but you grab at his wrist as you gape at him.

“What the fuck did you just say?” You blurt.

That must have been a slip of his tongue. Every man you’ve been with before has been so damn careful to avoid the term mating, obviously terrified of you somehow getting the wrong idea; they made it painfully clear that it was just fucking, with no strings attached, because you were small and exotic and apparently the tightest thing they’ve ever gotten to put their dicks into.

Neteyam blinks owlishly, as though confused by your response. “What?” He asks, before his face relaxes. “Ah, it’s only the thought of me watching that does it for you?”

“No, it—” You blink at him. “You said… you said next time we… we mate.”

“Yes.” He says, wrapping one big arm around your waist to tug you back to him, as though he doesn’t like the fact that you’re shifting away. “I enjoyed mating here, where I can kiss your face, but it is very...”

He pauses then, and glances around your room. For the first time, you see it through his eyes; it’s small and dingy, the electric lights buzzing and flickering as they run on the ancient generator that Norm and a couple of the other older scientists had dragged from Bridgehead. Even though he’s gotten comfortable cuddling you on your bed, it’s far too small for him; his legs are hanging off the end of it, his feet flat against the floor. Compared to the fantastical natural homes of the Na’vi, your little bedroom seems like a shithole.

“You will be more comfortable in my hut in the village.” Neteyam says decisively, using the arm wrapped around your waist to pull you closer to his chest again. “I wish to take you in the forest, at Vitrautral, as is tradition.”

“Mating.” You repeat, just to check if you had heard him right. “We—that was mating.”

“Mhmm.” Neteyam’s hum sounds casual enough, but you can see the ridiculously pleased wave of his tail in the air behind him. “I told you that you were wasting time with those skxawngs, but I did not mind waiting for you. I did not like hearing them talk about you, about how you felt and how they pleased you, but… I knew I could prove myself a better prospect than all of them.”

“But—” You’re still struggling with this, staring at him with a bewildered expression. “But it—that was sex. It wasn’t—”

“I will take you to Vitrautral tomorrow, and mate you properly,” Neteyam murmurs, and you feel his big chest rumble beneath you in a pleased purr at the idea. “You do not need any other now. Yes?”

It feels almost too good to be true. Almost. Because damn, you want that so badly that it actually aches. After so many years of craving intimacy of any kind, it seems shockingly unlikely that it’s being offered by Neteyam, the very personification of an Omaticayan golden child. How have you gone from getting fucking in empty corners and deep in the forest to having the Olo’eyktan’s son talk about mating you?

You think of the herbs and plants he always brings to the healing hut, the bones and fibres he forages, the food he brings you after hunts. You had always thought he was just shoving how great he was in your face, but now all of that is starting to rearrange itself inside your head. Was he seriously just trying to impress you?

You laugh a little disbelievingly, and Neteyam’s arm tightens around you.

“I have a necklace,” He murmurs, nuzzling against your forehead. “Made with freshwater pearls from the ocean. I was going to give it to you earlier but—we got distracted. It is in my tewng—”

“Get it later,” You whisper, clinging to his chest. You’re so comfortable, you don’t want to move, just in case the moment slips away forever. He made you a necklace. Fuck, he made you a necklace! You’ve only ever seen Na’vi mating gifts from a distance; the thought of receiving one is beyond anything you’ve ever imagined.

Neteyam’s chest seems to swell, his expression brightening the moment you cling to him. He hugs you close, his purr now reminiscent of a damn chainsaw as he curls his whole big body around you.

Taking a chance, you do something that you’ve always sort of wanted to do, ever since you found out what it was; you reach behind him and take his kuru in your hand, feeling the thick, glossy protective braid in your fingers.

Neteyam shudders under you, his rumbling purr stuttering a little as his eyelids flitter, his eyes going dark. He doesn’t stop you, watching you with lightly parted lips as your hand closes around the most sacred, sensitive part of him.

“This is okay?” You whisper, your vulnerability clear in your voice.

“Of course,” He whispers back, as though the moment is a soap bubble that could burst at a slightly raised voice. “It is yours, syulang.”

Emboldened, you drag your fist down the glossy braid until you reach the end, where the glowing tendrils that make up the exposed manifestation of his nervous system. The fleshy pink tendrils writhe in the air, and you watch in eager amazement. You’ve only ever seen diagrams of this part of the Na’vi anatomy, and you want so badly to touch it.

“You can play with it all you want,” Neteyam murmurs, and his voice is breathless.

You breathe a laugh, glancing up at him with a little grin. His pupils are blown, his lips parted, his chest heaving. You want to gnaw on his ribs, swallow him whole; he’s so cute.

“I’ll save that for tomorrow,” You whisper, the words ringing like a promise.

Neteyam looks briefly disappointed, before his mood is promptly buoyed at the thought of mating you again at the Tree of Souls, as he had promised you. He buries his face happily in your neck as you pet absently at the protective braid covering his kuru. It’s a non-sexual touch, and yet he goes entirely boneless, purring up a storm as you stroke your hand over it.

“Told you those others could not please you, paskalin,” He murmurs, his words slurring a little as his eyelids flutter with every soft touch to his kuru. “Told you they did not know what to do with you.”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the fond smile pulling at your mouth.

“Mm. You did. Guess I needed someone like you, huh? A mighty warrior?” You say, teasing him with that silly little nickname he always called himself when you were a teenager. At the time you had thought he was so annoying, but now, looking back… you’re willing to admit it was pretty adorable.

Neteyam’s drowsy face pulls up in a sweet smile, his flat nose brushing against your collarbones. It seems like he’s pleased you remembered, or maybe he’s pleased that you’re impressed with him.

He kisses your neck, then mumbles sleepily, “The mightiest.”

[badaseyebags]

private lessons ⋆｡°✩ chapter 1 ⟢

fluff, suggestive, smut in upcoming chapters

word count: 1,2k

warnings: aged up bada (she’s in her 30’s), age gap (reader is an adult!!!), very obvious power dynamics, dom!bada, student x teacher themes

author’s note: hello guys i am back with a series and i will try to update regularly, please be patient and give me some feedback. thank you and have fun reading! -booger 🍞

you knew it was wrong, and you knew your fantasies wouldn’t actually come to life, so why did it feel so thrilling? you look at yourself in the mirror as you’re smoothing over your clothes, exhaling shakily to mentally prepare yourself to meet up with your tutor. you seriously need to stop getting your hopes up.

you were an A+ student who never even had to study, acing your tests without any real effort. all you had to do was pay attention during class and you had nothing to worry about. so why exactly did you need a tutor? well… you see.. your teacher was temporarily gone for god knows what reasons, and you’ve gotten a substitute teacher for the time being.. and your grades dropped drastically, not because you suddenly stopped caring about school or because you missed classes, no no, quite the opposite.

the problem was your insanely attractive substitute teacher. Mrs. Lee… she was so tall.. so handsome.. so pretty.. and so strict. the second your eyes landed on her you knew you were done for. you felt so guilty for the emotions you yourself couldn’t even control, although you haven’t done or said anything wrong (yet). so why exactly were you feeling this way? oh right, having zero experience and drooling over your teacher who’s 10+ years older than you is probably a good enough reason. you and your twisted mind.

you had no issues in any other classes, being the nerd you were you quite enjoyed them. but as soon as the bell rang and she walked into the room, all your focus was on tall figure. oh how you wish she would tower over you- she was speaking but you couldn’t hear a word she was saying, just her voice. you didn’t see the notes she wrote on the blackboard, letters blending into the background. all you saw was her hands. as if you suddenly forgot to read, the veins on her large hands being much more interesting to study. the length of her fingers and the way she moved them had your mind flipping a switch. every word that left her mouth just flew past your head and all you could do was just stare with a blank stare, more like blank brain.. no thoughts head empty, just Mrs. Lee and your stupid imagination.

you didn’t see an issue in this, it was almost like a new hobby. patiently waiting for her class at the end of the day as if it were some kind of a reward. spacing out with the image of her right in front of you. damn, talk about inspiration. the issue was… you weren’t as smooth with concealing your so called innocent crush on her, which you failed to realize.

with the way you gulped each time she called your name or the way your cheeks turned red when she found out you’re spacing out and not playing attention once again, or the way your eyes would linger on her as she walked across the room, never leaving her for a second, as if they were glued to her.

it was all a bit too obvious to her. at first she found it funny, she was used to both men and women falling for her. however she wouldn’t have expected someone much younger then her to be so infatuated with her, especially to such a high level you were displaying, thinking you’re hiding it so well. reality was rather different. and quite frankly entertaining for her. especially you being her student, making it even more entertaining for her to watch.

you would of assumed she’d be married by now, there’s no doubt people are chasing her left and right, but she was actually not interested in settling down just yet, deciding to focus on her career and hope she finally meets the right person along the way. someone who she could be herself with… as in someone she could have complet control over. bada craved dominance, and while some people were into that, they were often caught off by the level of it that she desired. she wanted all of it. no, she needed all of it. it made her giggle, thinking your actions are cute and nothing more, she was your teacher for now after all. it’s not like you were underage or anything, but in her view it was simply unprofessional and inappropriate. not you basically eye fucking her every class she taught, but the fact that she enjoyed it much more then she wanted to admit.

she wanted to mess with you a little, play with your little brain and have some light hearted fun. not in a way where she uses you for a night and goes back to teaching you, she wouldn’t have the heart to do that, right? she just wanted to find a way that would entertain her for the time being. she loved teasing you and seeing your reactions, she found it cute how flustered she could get you just by pointing out your own behaviour. a part of her really did feel bad seeing your grades drop more and more, and it being indirectly her fault. if she wasn’t so dedicated to her work and didn’t take her time to learn all about the students she will be teaching temporarily, she wouldn’t have known you’re actually one of the top students. which is also why she was keeping an eye on you from the beginning, confusion clouding mind seeing you not match the expectations she’d set for you prior teaching you.

was there a mistake in the system? were those grades she’d seen not yours, perhaps someone with the same name as you…? she wondered after her first time teaching your class. the second time she’d notice you fidgeting and having trouble speaking when she asked you a question. hmm.. it must be anxiety, she thought. you did seem very nervous about her being your new teacher, maybe you were just this shy because you don’t know her, that’s all.

she realised all her theories were proven wrong as you spent the following days with flushed cheeks, eyes blinking up at her in concentration. looking away quickly as soon as she looked your way.

she thought she was partly responsible for this, so she was kind enough to offer you some tutoring sessions after school. when she told you to stay behind after dismissal and proposed the offer you panicked, just then realising how distracted you must of been during class for this to turn this bad.

you frantically shook your head not wanting to accept because 1) you didn’t want to be an inconvenience and waste her time due to failing and it being totally your fault. (the part you told her)

and 2) you’d definitely pass away being in the same room as her… all alone… in her house.. being much closer to you.. with her trying to explain to you what she said in class 200 times while you just drooled over her, as if it’s not going to be even harder for you to focus. ( that’s the part you didn’t tell her)

cat got your tongue when she assured you that it’s all okay and she would be more then happy to give you private lessons, and proud to see you do better. you swallowed hard as she asked for your number, arranging a meeting for the weekend, patting your head before she walked out telling you she can’t wait.

oh you’re screwed, so damn screwed.

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 1

Here is it is. Book 2 of The Boy With a Bat and I'm posting it on the anniversary of the first chapter of "Can Anybody See Me?" I couldn't pass up the opportunity do so, you know? If you haven't read that yet, I would recommend it.

This one starts up almost immediately after the last one ended. And I do have four chapters written.

This story will go through to the end of season 3.

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

***

The weather started to warm and the Harringtons were away for longer and longer stretches of time. So to say that Steve was happy would be an understatement.

He used that open period to do his homework so that he had more time to practice his swimming. It was inevitable that Eddie would cotton on to the glaringly obvious gap in Steve’s swim practice. As in despite having a large pool of his own, Steve would practice at the school or on the weekends at the community center.

At first the excuse of it being too cold to swim in the outdoor pool, that fell away to the warmer weather. Thankfully it was the last meet of the season, and the team had gotten to state.

Steve hadn’t even bothered to tell his parents that the swim team had a chance at nationals. That they had been that good. Nope. He told Wayne Munson and Claudia Henderson though. Those were the adults he really wanted to see there. Not Clint and Marilyn Harrington. Of course Joyce and Hopper were told, too. But Claudia had become more like his mother and Wayne, the father figure he had always wanted.

Eddie had avoided the swim meets for the most part. Not because he didn’t want to support Steve. He did. The problem was the *ahem* uniform for the boys’ swim team. It consisted of one cap, one pair of goggles and the tiniest Speedo known to man. Or at least known to Eddie. He could barely handle his boyfriend in the booty shorts the basketball team wore, the Speedo was just too much for his poor developed teenaged brain.

But through begging, bribing, and blow jobs, Eddie was at that meet.

Thankfully he wasn’t sandwiched between Uncle Wayne and Claudia Henderson. Nope, Marty and Janice had come, too. The rest of them couldn’t get out of their classes to come but they all told Steve they were rooting for him.

Steve walked out in the green Speedo (being the ‘away’ team) cap. The white framed goggles perched on his head. He spoke briefly to coaches Hall and Hastings. And then turned to wave at the enthusiastic crowd. Claudia had gotten Dustin excused from school and Nancy and Jonathan were there as members of the school news paper.

All in all not a bad turnout for the boy who thought that 1985 was going to be as bad as 1984 had been. He thought he was going to end the year with no girlfriend, no friends, and no future. But that all changed with Eddie Munson deciding he was worth having. First as a friend and then as a boyfriend.

The boyfriend thing was still being kept on the down low as they were still in high school and Steve’s dad was just too big of a wild card to tell people that might get word back to him. Steve felt bad. Because it meant that Dustin and the other kids didn’t know about him and Eddie. Well...he was pretty sure Max had figured it out and maybe El, too. But everyone else was told that they were strictly bros.

A lie Eddie was surprisingly okay with. The last thing he wanted was Steve to get another concussion and if Billy and his gang scented blood in the water before, it would be a literal blood bath if Steve was even hinted at being in a relationship with another boy. Tommy and Billy could taunt all they wanted as long as there wasn’t any proof, they were fine.

It made Steve itch. But even he knew better than to scratch it.

He took a deep breath and stepped up to the starting block. He got in position and lowered his goggles. Out of the corners of his eyes he could see the other competitors look at each other, sizing each other up. But Steve was focused. He put his head down and took a deep breath. He loved the butterfly stroke. It worked his shoulders in a way that helped round out his strengths.

The whistle blew and they were off. Distantly he could hear people screaming his name and cheering him on every time he broke the water. He smiled and doubled his efforts. He touched the pad and the whistle blew. He then looked around at his competitors and saw to his satisfaction that he had definitely finished first.

Steve could hear Dustin freaking out in the stands. He pulled the goggles off his eyes and placed them on his head. He wiped the water out of his face and he looked to the stands.

Wayne was asking Claudia a question and she was explaining it animatedly. Steve grinned. He pulled himself out of the water and listened to the judges give the times. It was no record by any means, but it was much faster than his peers.

He stood up and Coach Hall raised his hand up. All his team members came up to him and cheering excitedly. Even the ones that he had beaten.

Steve sat on the sidelines and waited for the relay to start. That was his final event. He was first, followed by two other boys, Lyle and Nick, and then Ezra. Steve and Ezra were the teams two fastest swimmers and bookended the relay team.

Finally they were up. He looked up at the stands again. The most important people in Steve’s life were up there cheering him on. He got into position and pulled his goggles down. He zipped through the water like an otter and was soon tapping out for the next swimmer. He quickly got out of the way and was shocked to see that other team wasn’t even close. As each boy popped out of the water and looked at how far they were in front of the other team, they would start to jump up and down excitedly.

Soon it was the three of them waiting for Ezra to finish. There was no doubt they won. The question was whether or not they had beat the state record. Ezra tapped the board and hopped out of the water.

They waited in silence as the other team finished their run and got out of the pool. The judge must have had a flare for the dramatic as he read the other team’s time first. Steve and his team wrapped their arms around each other as they waited for the time.

Finally it was read.

“A new state record!” the judge called out.

Steve and his team started screaming and cheering.

“And thereby qualify for the regionals that will be held in Chicago this year in two weeks!” the judge continued.

They made it!

Steve looked up at the stands and the entire section that held the Hawkins fans were on their feet. Even Eddie had been lost in the sea of fans screaming their lungs out.

*

After he had showered and got the chlorine out of his hair, he walked out to all his friends waiting for him. They were holding up signs and cheering. Even Nancy and Jonathan were waiting for him.

“Steve, that was amazing, man,” Jonathan said. He snapped a a couple of pictures that left Steve blinking from the flash.

Nancy hugged him and then straightened out her skirt. She cleared her throat and said as professionally as possible, “Weekly Streak, as co-captain of the team, how does it feel making regionals for the first time in the school’s history?”

“Me and Ezra Wincott are both proud of how well our players did,” Steve said after shaking his head a little. “We’re disappointed that no one in the individual events made it, but grateful that we made it to state. It was an honor to compete.”

“Will the school be raising the money for the team to go?” Nancy asked.

Steve covered his wince with a half smile. This was a hotly contested subject between them about where school funds went. She thought that more money should go to arts like theater and the newspaper, of course.

“I wouldn’t know,” he said and pursed his lips. He licked a stripe over his upper lip and Eddie winced.

Eddie wondered if Nancy was familiar with Steve’s tell that he was seriously annoyed. Judging from her expression, probably not.

“It’s up to the administration where the funds go,” Steve said, dryly. “However, if it will help Lyle or Nick have the chance to go, I’m sure my parents would be willing to pay for me to go regardless of the school’s ability to fund the trip.”

Nancy and Eddie both scoffed, but they didn’t say anything.

“Any word on elections for next years captain or captains?” Nancy asked.

“We’ll be holding them after nationals,” Steve said. “Coaches Higgins and Hall have opted to continue with the co-captains as they have in the past few years.”

“Are you disappointed that none of the girls made it to state?” Nancy asked.

Eddie and Steve exchanged a glance over her head of exasperation. “Co-captains Laura Gilbert and Denise Portman led the girls to a great season. It was unfortunate that they went against better teams. The hope next year is that they are getting six new members next year that will freshen up the team.”

“And how many boys will be joining the team next year?”

Steve crossed his arms and licked his upper lip again, and it sent a not nice shiver down Eddie’s spine. He could tell that he was getting upset with Nancy’s questions.

“Not as many,” Steve said, knowing that was exactly why she asked. She was gloating that the girls were getting more players next year. “Only four. Which considering we’re losing six this year is quite the blow.”

“Just one last question,” Nancy said a sneer on her face. “Who are you celebrating with tonight?”

Everyone went dead silent. Steve wasn’t sure if she was being obtuse or if she was trying to out him, but it wasn’t appropriate by any stretch of the imagination.

“Friends and family,” Steve said with a sinister smile.

Nancy turned of the recorder and stuck it in her pocket. Both Eddie and Steve opened their mouths to protest, but Jonathan beat them to it.

“What the fuck was with that last question?” he growled as he packed away his camera.

Nancy rolled her eyes. “The school’s student editor is one of Tommy’s ilk and wanted me to ask it off all the people I interviewed, but especially Steve.”

“You do realize that only seven people in the whole school read the school newspaper, right?” Eddie asked. “Like everyone I know tosses it the second it gets handed to them.”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “Well maybe you guys should. It’s not just sports you know. The debate team also made it to state. The drama club got invited to perform at the drama conference with ‘Yours, Yours, Yours’ and a dozen other things that you would know if you read the only paper in town that cared about that sort of thing.”

Steve and Eddie looked at Marty and Janice and then back at Nancy.

“You do realize that that last example was a piss poor one right?” Steve asked, waving his hand to include Eddie, Janice and Marty. “We were all part of the play in some way. Of course we knew about the invite.”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “Okay, so that was a bad example. But you know what I mean.”

“It’s not the end of the world, Nance,” Dustin said. “You’re destined for greatness at some big name paper.”

Nancy blushed. “Thanks!”

Eddie smiled. “Come on, sweetheart. Uncle Wayne and I have celebration plans for you, big boy.”

Steve grinned. “Is Wayne going to barbecue like he’d been teasing all winter?”

Wayne laughed. “Not quite warm enough for that yet. I promise, once it is, I’ll blow your god damn mind.”

Steve laughed.

“No,” Claudia said with a smile. “We’re going for milk shakes at the diner. Best celebration there is.”

Steve high-fived Dustin.

****

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @artiststarme ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @counting-dollars-counting-stars @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual

[eff-plays]

What's funny to me is that so many AA stans have the same sob story of like "well I thought (like an IDIOT) that not Ascending him would be the obvious good choice, but then I saw that he was sooo sad and miserable and weak and dependent on Tav and just COPING by pretending to be happy, so I reloaded ASAP and saw the BEAUTIFUL Ascension scene and what did I get in return? My beautiful powerful vampire lord. Aeterna amantes. BUT THEN the EVIL SPAWNIES and the bog witch Welch have the AUDACITY to tell me THAT is the bad ending? Yes maybe 7000 people worthless evil spawn die, and yeah maybe he doesn't let Tav break up with him, but just don't pick that dialogue option! And the kneel scene is actually just BDSM, sweaty. It's how adults have sex. And actually I did RESEARCH on D/s dynamics specifically to understand Astarion and why he needs to be in a D/s relationship. It's NOT abuse actually! And look how happy and wealthy and strong he is! Ugh, why can I only be mean to him after this or demand that he fucks me? Why can't I worship the ground he walks on? Also why does Tav look so unhappy in this totally consensual BDSM scene?"

It's like these people either have never heard of a bittersweet ending, or are just lying about ever wanting to do a spawn ending in order to make their true opinion sound more nuanced.

Because their pookie didn't get literally everything he ever wanted that ending is now bad and you're an evil abuser for "dooming" him. And because the game tells you with big ol warning signs that Ascension is the worse outcome for him, that short-circuits their brain, because then that would mean the spawn ending is good? But that can't be, because in that ending he doesn't get everything he wants forever?Which is what he deserves because he's hot and white and a man and any ending that isn't perfect isn't good enough. Then that means Ascension is good, and the warning signs are either 1) the writers' misguided/moralistic/incorrect agendas ("Why are the dialogue options so mean!") or 2) some actually big-brained subtle idea by the writers that's too nuanced for "spawnies" to understand ("The kneeling is just BDSM actually").

This isn't even about Astarion anymore. Like who gives a shit. I want to unwrap these people's brains and study them under a microscope.

[edgarbright]

Caleb = Sylus theory

And if that turns out to be incorrect, then renamed as:

My thoughts on Caleb and Sylus!

tl;dr my heart wants Caleb back as a LI and my brain continues to report that Caleb being Sylus makes a lot of sense

General spoiler warning for any game content released up until June 18, 2024. Long post is long and has pictures.

So first things first! I’m going to need everyone to think about Caleb beyond being just our sweet and teasing childhood friend. Because if we viewed the other male leads as plainly as Caleb is often viewed, then Zayne is just a workaholic doctor, Xavier is just a narcoleptic hunter, and Rafayel is just a playful-personality artist.

But we find out Zayne has done work in battle zones as a military medic and we hear how his morals and ethics are held high when organizations like Ever Group try to recruit him. We discover that Xavier is an immortal who has flown across the galaxy in a spaceship and regularly goes toe-to-toe with criminal syndicates and wanderers alike. We learn that Rafayel is a Lemurian, the God of the Sea, and an assassin who carefully and cleverly deals out bloody revenge.

While we don’t have a lot of Caleb content in the first eight chapters and side pieces, there is still a lot of information to work with! Because we know he has been around for years and must be doing something with his time when he’s not talking with MC about coming home.

And one of the clues we’re given is that he is a busy guy. In the character notes, we read that MC doesn’t see Caleb outside of holidays after he became involved with the Aerospace Academy at Skyhaven. He has since become a pilot for the Deepspace Aviation Administration. Then there is their last argument about how they are adults now and they don’t need to keep secrets from each other. But just when Caleb is about to open up, he locks it down. And then he’s gone.

The End? Except I don’t think that’s where his story finishes.

I. Official game descriptions

Caleb: "My childhood friend. Grandma took us in when we were young. Now he works as a fighter pilot for the Deepspace Aviation Administration. Ever since he went to Aerospace Academy in Skyhaven, we don’t often see each other. But we always visit Grandma during the holidays. While he loves teasing me, he’s actually a reliable person whom I trust."

Sylus: "The leader of Onychinus is said to have built his empire on illegal Evol weapons and Protocore deals. He’s the most influential, dominant figure in the N109 Zone. However, he hasn’t been seen for a while."

II. Caleb as a love interest: Brother vs childhood friend

Stating the obvious to get it out of the way: that Papergames had to give Caleb a completely different relationship role with MC in the English-speaking market is akin to a public statement that he is going to be a love interest. They would have saved themselves the trouble by leaving him as brother if he was never going to play a more intimate role with MC.

III. Caleb and MC's lingering connection: the necklace

The “When U come back,” apple-and-dog-tag necklace picked out in a style MC really liked as a present for Caleb before he left for Skyhaven.

The necklace where, in chapter 4.06 ‘Saying Goodbye,’ MC and Caleb share a Kindled moment as we take the necklace from his hand and he leans forward to let us put it on him.

The necklace that Caleb was wearing under the bulk of his jacket when he entered Grandma’s house before the explosion.

The necklace that is nowhere to be seen after the explosion, but suddenly appears on the ground in front of us when MC looks back down. Caleb was wearing that necklace when he entered the house, but here it is now, completely intact. MC’s hands are covered in dirt and ash while the necklace is in clean condition.

Caleb is alive in one way or another. And the necklace, now back in MC’s possession, is a tie that still binds them.

IV. Official Announcement of the Next Male Lead

(Disclaimer: I am only able to go off the English fan translation and google translations so my interpretation is at the mercy of missed nuances from word choice and mis-translations. But we’re just here to be delusional have fun, so play nice!)

During the CBT in 2023, Papergames released this announcement:

Then on February 24, 2024 as part of an apology post to angry Chinese players, Papergames provided a follow-up and official confirmation that hunters will get to meet the next love interest, Qin Che/Sylus, in the next big story update coming this July 2024.

This February announcement does not mention Caleb, but then the original Q&A was clearly only referencing a question regarding a single pre-mentioned person. So between CBT and now, my understanding is that we have only ever been promised one new male lead to top us off at a quartet.

And in that initial announcement in CBT, it continues to strike me as strange that they talk about this mystery man Sylus and then they bring up Caleb. They first talk at length about someone we don’t know at all and then about someone the CBT players were already interested in: our doting brother/childhood friend, someone who clearly likes us, someone whom the MC obviously likes in return, someone with a unique personality from the other LI, and someone we have lost and grieved over and want back.

But the official name of the next male lead is Sylus.

“His identity and your relationship to him,” however, could also suggest that the name “Sylus” may not be his true name. Is there just some guy named Sylus walking around Linkon City or does he become Sylus when associated with Onychinus and when he enters the N109 zone? After all, his identity is a question, it is a mystery, he is mystery, and our relationship to him is a question. Our true relationship to him is in question, because perhaps it is someone we thought we knew but didn’t truly know at all.

V. Sylus: a powerful persona in the N109 zone

As the main story plot progresses and MC sets her sights on entering the N109 zone, she learns that the acquisition of a bold fake identity is a key part to her safety. By the sound of it, even someone like Xavier doesn’t enter as Xavier, but instead as Lumiere as it was Lumiere who was rumored to have caused a mess there recently.

Therefore I’m further encouraged that the name “Sylus” could just be a new identity for someone we already know. Even more so, once ‘Caleb the fighter pilot from the Deepspace Aviation Administration’ has officially been declared dead, the only identity left to him is Sylus.

But strangely enough, after Caleb is gone, even the character description states Sylus hasn’t been seen for a while, either…

VI. Symbols: the jacket and the crow

Caleb is wearing a Deepspace Aviation Administration (DAA) jacket before he begins attending the Airspace Academy at Skyhaven, as seen in the flashback scene. He is still wearing the same jacket on the last day we see him in chapter 4.

Of interest, in chapter 3, we see a crow in the forest watching MC and Xavier after they destroy the developing Aetherwyrm and taking Onychinus's modified Protocore.

Note the diagonal orange bars on the mechanical feature on the crow’s left wing and the design on the jacket on Caleb’s left chest:

The bars mirror one another. The crow seems to have four bars but only three are full whereas the jacket shows four full bars.

Note as well on the jacket's left arm: the crow-like head triangle with the curved wings.

With MC currently entangled in tens of thousands of years of history with three other men, I don’t think this is a game that deals with mere coincidences.

But considering this crow symbol existed on the DAA jacket before Caleb went to the academy teases all types of connections and, most appropriately, spacetime considerations rooted around the Deepspace Tunnel.

VII. The Deepspace Aviation Administration

After completing his training at the Airspace Academy, Caleb rose up to become a pilot in the Deepspace Aviation Administration. His whole job involves flying around and near the Deepspace Tunnel.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that the Linkon broadcaster speaks of so frequently regarding possible Wanderer appearances.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that appeared at the time of the catastrophe.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that Xavier and the Backtrackers took to travel from Philos to Earth.

Just as MC is learning new and weird things about the world while working as a hunter, surely Caleb has come across some new and weird things, too.

MC states that the DAA is secretive but Caleb takes it a step further: it’s not just secretive, it’s spooky! It’s creepy! It’s mysterious! It’s shadowy!

Whatever the DAA is dealing with isn’t, necessarily, normal!

Because while the DAA is of course focused on the Deepspace Tunnel, we have also heard that some of their interests lie in the Lemurian ruins…

So we shouldn’t take the Deepspace Aviation Administration at face value. Honestly, nothing in this game appears to be as good and pure as it seems! It’s suspicious that MC works as a hunter in the Unicorns division when Unicorn was also the code name for her as an experiment. The public face of Ever Group has them seeming to work medical miracles and conducting revolutionary science, but we know they conducted cruel experiments on MC, we have clues they experimented on Lemurians, and it’s revealed they have dark dealings with the Backtrackers.

Note that while Sylus is the leader of Onychinus and built it up as an empire, that doesn’t necessarily mean he is the founder. The Deepspace Aviation Administration could easily have criminal ties of their own or be a cover for a front for their true reason to exist.

But whatever is going on with the DAA, Caleb has been involved in it for many years and has kept it secret from MC this whole time.

VIII. Male Lead Introductions

It feels too strange to think that Sylus will be an entirely new face because not only would that put him at a disadvantage, it would neglect a lot of clues and game features laid out for his association and arrival.

For starters, Xavier, Rafayel, and Zayne are all introduced to MC in the very first chapter. They get faces and little encounters to go along with them.

Meanwhile Caleb is faceless. He is just a voice in chapter 1. But to the MC, it’s the familiar voice of someone she obviously knows and loves and is excited to see again. She has history and memories and a developed relationship with this person.

But even through the teasing affection shared between MC and Caleb over the phone, his face and expressions are left in the dark. He is a mystery to us.

Except… maybe we do see a face of Caleb? In the face of the all-seeing-eye of Onychinus that appears a moment after MC gets off the phone with him.

So, going back to that CBT announcement, Papergames asks if the players found any clues regarding Sylus in the main story… right before they bring Caleb into the conversation, who for all intents and purposes is dead? Whether they were making a hint or not right there it’s too suspicious.

IX. Lore: The Eye in the Sky Watching Over MC

We spot the red eye watching MC on at least three occasions:

[Top left image] At the end of chapter 1: After MC has completed her first day as a hunter and Caleb bids her goodnight after their phone call, she sees the eye for a moment outside her window as the weather begins to turn bad.

[Bottom left image] In chapter 3: MC recalls a reoccurring nightmare when her 7-year-old self was running blindly in pain and fear during the Chronorift Catastrophe. While she initially thinks it is the moon, when she wakes up she realizes it was actually the same eye she saw in chapter 1. Of interest, notice how her description of the eye’s arrival is portrayed rather positively:

Rusty-red rain falls from the sky and seeps into every nook and cranny of the city. I step over the puddles, running away. I sense a powerful force. It's about to burst from my heart. Then the moon appears. Magnificent, it descends before me. It flickers. It seems to be blinking at me.

[Right image] At the Nest in chapter 8: the eye is in a robotic contraption watching events unfold on Hunting Day and when MC is captured.

So it seems this eye has been with her since she was seven years old and it found her before even Xavier did. As an observation vessel, however, it was not able to help her. All it can do is watch. So the question is who has been watching her from the other end? Ever Group? Onychinus? The Backtrackers? Caleb in some form?

X. Caleb is never doing what MC expects

On the phone call in chapter 1, MC thought he would still be in-flight, but he brushes it off by saying they finished early. He uses this surprise “free time” to call her right when she returns home and asks how her first day as a hunter went.

When MC arrives to Grandma’s house in chapter 4, she thought he wouldn’t arrive until the next day at the earliest, but he was already home. He uses this surprise “free time” to cook and have dinner ready for her right when she arrives.

He just always seems to be a step ahead of the MC… for the sake of doting on MC!

But it’s still rather odd that lower-level military personnel would get early clock-outs so conveniently when activity in the Deepspace Tunnel and appearance of Wanderers are on the rise…

And what is he doing that is making him so sleep-deprived?

XI. FM News vs Caleb: Deepspace Tunnel Activity

For the record, all of chapter 1 takes place over a single day. MC starts her morning by receiving her badge; spends the day hunting Wanderers, meeting Xavier, and getting her placement in alpha team; spends the evening with Tara before she meets Rafayel; rushes to her 6pm check-up appointment with Zayne; has a nighttime phone call with Caleb; and spots the eye outside her window before bed.

And from morning to night, the news report and Caleb’s report are complete opposites.

“Hello, Linkon City. DPSC FM here to greet you on this early morning. Did you sleep well last night? Weather's nice today with winds at 5 km/hr. Certain areas have a higher Metaflux index due to the Deepspace Tunnel. Expect Wanderers to appear more often. We would like to thank the hunters in the city for allowing us to live a normal, peaceful life. Next, a detailed report for each district. Areas that are at a "high risk" of being attacked by Wanderers-- All medical personnel, today is going to be another busy day.”

Compared to

MC: "Did you guys encounter any Wanderers in the Deepspace Tunnel? Was it dangerous?" ... Caleb: "All right. It's been peaceful. The field within the tunnel is as stable as it can be. Very few Wanderers. Don't worry." MC: "Really? Every time you tell me not to worry..." Caleb: "Everything else is top secret. My lips are sealed."

Now, it’s entirely possible that he’s lying about the danger in order to make MC feel better, but if he was lying and the situation was more severe, he wouldn’t have gotten off work early and been able to call her.

Which also brings up the question: is he even at Skyhaven or with the Deepspace Aviation Administration at this time...?

XII. Theory Speed Bump: the Exploding House

During the phone call in chapter 1, Caleb sounds very relaxed about MC having become a hunter on her first day. He asks her how it went and when she starts talking about having had some trouble, he teases her to stop--because he knows she did well! They go on to tease each other about when he’s going to next visit and he says a very sweet good night. He doesn’t sound worried for her safety or anxious or anything of the like.

The visit at Grandma’s house in chapter 4 is a little different. He seems more worried.

Caleb shows up a day early—and if he is Sylus, leader of Onychinus who are wildly in-the-know, obviously his connections would have alerted him to the moving activity posing a danger toward MC and Grandma. But considering how well Xavier stays off most radars, the other Backtrackers are quite good at moving in secret, too. Knowing there is danger isn’t the same as knowing where or when exactly it will hit.

From the World Underneath files, Ever Group appears to have lost track of experiment subject “Unicorn,” but they still had tabs on Josephine as one of their former researchers. The files the Backtracker acquired after the explosion that he delivered to the Ever Group’s Raincoat appears to be their confirmation on MC’s identity. Although we’re left listening to the lackey’s discussion, it doesn’t appear that Ever Group intended to do MC harm just yet, but that doesn't mean she couldn't have accidentally been caught up in the explosion, too.

While MC and everyone are at the table eating, the story about the multiple metaflux explosions are shown on the TV.

When MC excuses herself from the table in order to go scout the neighborhood, Caleb, who just voiced concerns for her safety, jumps up and follows her.

Caleb very obviously lies about going shopping (my guy has empty hands when he reappears). He continues to follow her, albeit from a distance as he is not quick enough to get involved in MC’s encounter with the sneaking Backtracker (note how the MC observed that the man sounded much older than he looked).

Although it’s interesting how, after Caleb knows she was attacked and how he stuck by her side as often as he could while they were outside, he enters the house first and leaves her alone outside.

But the only reason he entered the house first and alone was because MC told him to go inside first. He was the one who suggested they return home before Grandma got worried. Whatever danger Caleb was on high alert for, I’m left conflicted if an exploding house was something he considered since it was his idea to return.

His necklace magically appearing in front of MC after the explosion, however, suggests he was involved in the necklace placement in some way.

Also we don't know what his Evol is exactly. Some players have suggested telekinesis or gravity based on how he was able to take the necklace from MC in the flashback. Magnetic force should also be considered, I think, but I won't open that can of worms here. The question is still: how deep does this rabbit hole go? Was Caleb caught in an explosion he was prepared for and escaped or is another force at work here? We know there have been many Rafayels and Zaynes in the timeline. Maybe there are many Calebs, too.

XIII. Grandma's records have no mention of Caleb

Before she took in MC, Josephine states in the World Underneath files that she has never had children before. Meaning Caleb was not in the picture before MC.

In the game character notes, MC says Grandma took both MC and Caleb in when MC was seven years old.

So where did Caleb come from? And what made her take him in, too?

When we are at Grandma’s house, we also see just one picture frame. The only ones in the picture are MC and Grandma.

In all of Grandma’s notes, there is not one mention of Caleb. There is just one instance where it looks like his name ought to be, but the notes trail off instead with an ellipsis.

Did she herself exclude him from her records or was his name purposefully removed?

Nonetheless, I'm sure the leader of Onychinus would value such anonymity, if it were him.

XIV. "A decisive man as always"

At the family meal, MC expresses concern regarding Grandma’s health. Caleb speaks up and shares that he has taken care to see that Grandma is cared for.

When MC, a little peevish-sounding in English, asks him the when and why, all Caleb does is let out a small laugh and goes back to eating.

Grandma notes that she didn’t know about this plan either. "A decisive man as always," she says with a troubled expression.

And thus Grandma has thrown an interesting character trait into the mix as Caleb always seems so laid-back with MC like he’s simply going with the flow of things. Except it’s clear he’s decisive, determined, and taking care of things behind the scenes. And surely that includes taking care of MC.

XV. Sylus's Character

We have two points of concrete information about Sylus.

The first is the game description, which I’ll repeat here: “The leader of Onychinus is said to have built his empire on illegal Evol weapons and Protocore deals. He’s the most influential, dominant figure in the N109 Zone. However, he hasn’t been seen for a while.”

The second is an observation made by Captain Jenna in chapter 3:

"We speculate it’s not about money, given Sylus’s track record," she says.

So Sylus "is said to have built" a whole empire on illegal sales but apparently he’s OK with his sales taking a loss because it’s not about money. We see in several news reports in-game about the amazing medical progress made due to the use of Protocores. Modified Protocores, especially such revolutionary ones made by Onychinus, should easily be worth more than their weight in gold. The one that MC and Xavier take from the forest is even powerful enough to start the revival process of the strongest type of Wanderer.

So we have this mysterious Sylus who has prioritized power and influence over wealth, but what can he possibly do with those if he’s gone AWOL…?

But such a decisive man who has gained authority over the N109 zone likely has everything under control, right?

XVI. Grandma Josephine vs Caleb

In chapter 4 under the title “Secret,” in part due to the mysterious locked box MC receives, we the player (not MC) learn that Grandma had entrusted MC to Zayne if the “worst-case scenario happens.”

But what about Caleb? We know that he is away from home very often so it’s highly unlikely anyone should consider something bad happening to both her and him. The “us” she uses could mean them both, but it seems more likely she meant Zayne’s promise to Grandma and MC (as MC is the beneficiary).

Let’s go back to that family meal conversation and see the follow-up reactions that show some interesting motives:

We have Caleb taking responsibility for family matters, MC and Grandma caught by surprise—then look at what Grandma does: she doesn’t argue with his decision, but instead turns to MC and immediately encourages her to get back in touch with Zayne.

Caleb’s response to that in turn is to suggest that instead of Zayne and MC meeting alone, Zayne should come for a family dinner. Caleb’s reaction feels rather sarcastic with the emphasis on “looong time.” Zayne is given the treatment of, rather than being a family friend, he is more like that kid they used to know back in grade school. Which is true. Zayne has been absent in MC and Caleb's lives for the past 10 years. Zayne hasn’t been in the picture since MC was about eleven years old and it’s been Caleb looking after MC as her childhood friend/brother this whole time.

So it’s no surprise when MC and Caleb are walking back home together that their conversation turns out like this:

"If not me, who could you possibly turn to for…" he begins, then stops. He smiles bitterly, shakes his head, and plays it off.

Is this him choking up on his yearning? Is this him realizing what Grandma tried to do earlier by bringing up Zayne, and realizing there are other people MC can turn to? Is this him realizing MC is right, that he really can’t protect her forever? Is this him realizing he can’t protect her as just Caleb? Or is there something else going on in that head of his?

It seems to me that not only are Grandma and Caleb not working together at this point, despite them both prioritizing MC's safety, Grandma might not consider Caleb outside of being the family cook!

What does Grandma know about Caleb that would make her turn to Zayne instead?

XVII. What Onychinus knows about MC's Aether Core (spoiler: everything)

Summary: This all happened in the immediate aftermath of the Chronorift Catastrophe. Dr. Noah was bought into the picture shortly after Grandma took MC into her home. Around that same time, one of the researchers who experimented on MC joined up with Onychinus. From that point on, all the other researchers started dying or disappearing—except for Grandma Josephine.

Grandma, however, is eventually killed by the Backtrackers hired by Ever Group, who had been looking for details about their missing Unicorn.

MC notes that Grandma didn’t leave any work files at home. Therefore Caleb wouldn’t have learned anything at the home.

But because Onychinus knows everything through that researcher, Sylus also knows everything that happened to MC. He knows what Josephine did. He knows about MC’s condition. He knows about her special heart. He knows about the Aether Core. He knows what dangers might pursue MC.

And what is Onychinus’s main project? Modifying Protocores.

MC learns that the frequency of her heart matches that of the modified Protocore she found in the restricted zone with Xavier. Both her heart and that modified Protocore had been effected by an Aether Core.

The crucial part I’m getting at is that Onychinus already knows about MC before she ever went to the Nest. They have known about her for around 15 years and during all this time Onychinus have never, ever approached or harmed her!

In this Sylus = Caleb scenario, he already has MC (trust me! he pleads), he already has her Aether Core, and he's trying to keep it secret, he's trying to keep her safe.

The other researchers had to die to keep her safe, because the knowledge they held of her would die with them.

"If not for me, who could you turn to for..." Caleb had once started to say, because if not for him, who else could have protected her all this time? Who else would work so tirelessly and decisively to do what needed to be done?

XVIII. Onychinus is not our enemy

One of the reasons I love Love and Deepspace is because the world building and lore are incredibly interesting. But we must use critical thinking because they are also deceptive. So many characters keep treating Onychinus as dangerous, as deadly, but we not only don’t know their true motive, we have no information on what bad things they’ve actually done besides existing outside normal society.

Both Jenna and Xavier tell us that Onychinus's most famous achievement is modifying Protocores. There is no word of Onychinus ever doing direct or indirect harm using these modified Protocores. We don’t even know to whom, exactly, they sell these Protocores—and we know that it’s not about money.

Onychinus is a mystery! What anyone knows about them is all speculation!

Ever Group, meanwhile, has conducted experiments on Lemurians as explored in Raymond's situation and experiments on MC when she was a child. These actions directly resulted in the "death" of MC numerous times and the probable death of at least one Lemurian if not more. In the World Underneath we discover that Ever Group also knows about the Backtrackers and about Philos. Ever Group hired the Backtracker that destroyed MC’s family. They also use Xavier and are plotting to, for lack of a better word, enslave him once they figure out the chemical compound of the medication he and the other Backtrackers use as injections.

It’s not a mistake, however, that Ever Group is praised by the public for their ingenuity and medical advances for the sake of a better society while Onychinus is treated as dangerous renegades.

Then there is also the Deepspace Aviation Administration who are "unraveling the unknown" at the Deepspace Tunnel while fighting Wanderers.

XIX. I promise you’ll see me every day when you wake up ;)

For the longest time I read Caleb's final promise at face value. He was coming back home to visit, so every morning when MC wakes up at Grandma’s house, she’ll see Caleb.

And I know I’m not the only one who shouted OBJECTION after the explosion (All Men Do Is Lie)!

Except waking up doesn’t have to be literal.

In the pre-registration announcement video released November 1, 2023, Zayne says the following line:

“When you and the world wake up, I hope we do not meet again.”

Perhaps MC just needs to wake up to the truth—the truth of what happened to her before she met Caleb and Zayne and Rafayel and Xavier, the truth of what Grandma and the scientists did to her as a child, the truth… of what she might find in the N109 zone, where Onychinus is, where the question to Sylus and her relationship with him will be answered…

When MC learns the truth, when she opens her eyes to the real world, she will see Caleb again.

(She will get to see him every day just like he promised.)

XX. Theoretical consideration: we’re in a time loop with possible time travel

If there are multiple timelines, it’s possible that the Sylus-Caleb we eventually meet isn’t the Caleb who entered that house before the explosion. They could be the same but different. Perhaps Caleb in one timeline died in that house while a Caleb in another timeline did not. Perhaps the necklace we picked up belonged to a different Caleb.

Because let’s be real, everything is a bit of a mess now: Dawnbreaker and Zayne sharing dreams, Xavier as an immortal alien on a completely different planet, and Rafayel has a millennia of emotional baggage to unpack and a lost civilization he has yet to revive.

There are also the rhythms in which the characters are living in their respected timelines. We have Xavier the immortal who has witnessed the many lives of MC living and dying tragically and being reborn again and again. We have Rafayel who is in a matched reincarnation cycle with MC where he seems to meet her in each life, but she has forgotten him while he may or may not have forgotten her. We have Zayne who is in an unmatched reincarnation cycle with MC where he may or may not meet her in each life, but he sacrifices himself for her sake at each end.

Let's not overlook the possibility of an actual time traveler with Sylus. Perhaps even one who has been looking for a timeline where he can keep MC safe. After all, coming late into the game, Sylus will need to have a new spin to his myth and connection with MC if he's going to compete!

Plus Caleb is also represented by the apple, the forbidden fruit: take even the smallest bite and be banished from paradise. But a bite of the apple also wakes one up to the truth, to the sense of shame, to desire, to sin, to love…

"I promise you’ll see me every day when you wake up," he said.

(And I’m a fool who wants to believe him 🍎)

[leiflitter]

More

Hello from Blighty thoughts about Saltburn

As a continuation from my reply to @armands-eyefuckery because BRAIN

Aight gang let's have a lil sit down because there is a big ol angle to the film that I think is getting missed by a lot of folks who aren't from the UK because it's a very uh...

British Thing.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT OLIVER IS FROM THE NORTH.

Cut because Length.

Now look. I am not going to go into Thatcher and Her Crimes, but it's worth a google. I do bring it up in You're Almost Home because...

Lots of people are saying Oliver is upper middle class, and honestly? That doesn't track for me. At all. Yes, his parents have a detached house in a nice suburb and they went on holidays, but there's a lot of Very British Context to them that I really want to point out. Also remember, it's 2006/2007. That is also important.

First of all- Oliver's parents probably never went to University.

Really listen to them. How gullible they are- they believe that Oliver can study at Oxford, and be on the rowing team, and be in plays, and be top scholar. He's always been so clever. If Oliver was anything near upper middle class, his parents would be educated professionals. Oliver probably has dockworkers not even three generations back- his dad has management vibes, but he probably worked his way up in the 70s when all you needed was a good attitude and not to be an obvious murderer.

Secondly- let's talk about the house.

As someone from Down South who has also lived Up North, Oliver's Parent's house would not have been as expensive as people think. Let's assume they bought it in the 1980s- we ALL know that house prices are through the roof NOW, but even today there is a huge gap between house prices in the south and the north. 200k down South might get you a one bedroom flat, if you're lucky. 200k in Prescot can get you a 4-bed, semi-detached HOUSE. Check rightmove.

It is also important that the house is relatively new-looking, because over here Upper Middle Class people aren't really into new build houses- if Oliver was upper middle class, he'd be living in something Victorian or Edwardian. Probably somewhere with a good link to London, especially in 2007. It also means that Oliver's parents may not have even bought it outright- my parents got on the housing ladder via a shared ownership scheme. Oliver's parents aren't rich.

Now, the holidays. Mykonos. Another fun Brit thing is the package holiday. Here's a pretty interesting article about them;

Two adults and three kids could absolutely have gone to Mykonos every year in the late 80s/90s for far less than you'd expect, especially if they paid in installments each month.

I also mentioned about Ollie being from Merseyside specifically, but again. CONTEXT. Although Oliver isn't Liverpudlian (it's important, he's from NEAR Liverpool but not Liverpool itself) the North of England as a whole has routinely been fucked over by those in power. The government AND the royals and the very wealthy. It's still ongoing today- again, another fun source.

Remember when Mr Eats-Crunchies-Sideways called him a Bootlicker? That's fucking IMPORTANT. To many folks he IS a bootlicker. He is highly unlikely to have been raised to grovel at the feet of those with hereditary titles and wealth, and honestly he doesn't. I've written before about how Oliver Denies Felix Things and how that dynamic is important. Oliver likely hasn't been raised with any real deference to The Rich (except Princess Diana).

It also effects Oliver's response to Felix, because goddamn it THATCHER again- it is HIGHLY likely that Oliver has lived through a lot of homophobia. Internalised a lot of it. Felix's parents do not give a shit, but that was not the norm. Again, tried to hit on it in YAH, because times have changed since the 90s/2000s and people change with them, but no fuckin wonder Oliver never responded to Felix chirpsing him like a maniac. He's fucking REPRESSED when he's in Oxford, pals. It also makes sense with that weird Tumblr Dom shit he pulls; he's still fuckin weird about it, he's just being In Charge so he doesn't need to be vulnerable in any way. He is only vulnerable for Felix, and even then he can't SHOW felix that, that would be gay.

Leiflitter over'n'out

[danosrosegarden]

edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer e

on occasion - edward nashton x gn!reader headcanons

elijah's anniversary celebration: post one!

✨ shimmer prompt: give me a character, and i will write a piece on how they would handle having a crush. ✨

{contains: edward being flustered and obsessive, general fluffy butterfly feelings!}

note: i am so sorry it took me so long to get to these. you can expect quite a few pieces to be published in the coming days! thank you for reading and supporting my work. xoxo, eli <3

♡ It would all be far simpler if Edward had the ability to admire in moderation. If only he could offer you the smallest speck of his heart, the littlest share of his love. That was just his problem. Edward Nashton did not love, but when he did, moderation was not possible. He loved all-encompassingly, with wide, sparkling eyes full of hope and a wildly skipping heart doused in desperate desire. There was nothing he could do to shake you from his thoughts. He simply wasn't able to rip you away from his brain.

♡ You didn't even do anything special; you just lived your life. But that was enough. Your pure, unfiltered existence was enough to have him entranced. Ever since you moved into his complex, he spent his days going crazy, waiting by his cellphone for a text or call. Hey, Ed, I'm off work! Wanna hang out? Hey, Edward, I'm going to the store! Want me to pick a treat up for you at the bakery section? God, you were so thoughtful. So caring. So funny and witty and so irresistibly you. Everything about you had him begging for scraps. Any piece of your backstory or future goals only fueled the crackling fire burning in his soul.

♡ Edward recognizes that the enormity of his longing could be perceived as overbearing or creepy. That's the last thing he would want, to scare you away. He can barely survive each day in his skin as is; he couldn't live with himself if he made you uncomfortable. So he does what he can to hold back. He declines your invitations to hang out sometimes so as to not seem clingy. He leaves you on delivered for a little while, even though he's practically glued to his phone, the intense, monstrous ghoul of FOMO looming over his shoulder.

♡ Even still, his crush is pretty pathetically obvious. He laughs hard and loud each time you tell a stupid joke. He blushes deeply when you compliment him, and his anxious finger-fiddling and lip biting isn't lost on you.

♡ Crystal clear, grade A anxiety. That's how he deals with a crush. He feels a rush of wildflowers bloom colorfully and brightly in his heart each time your name appears on his phone or he sees you in the complex's hallway. His stomach churns and his palms get clammy and goodness, he feels like an awkwardly love-drunk adolescent when he sees you: your glittering, smiling eyes, the way you walk and talk and smile at him...it all swirls around through his body like a whipping windstorm.

♡ He doesn't have the option of not overthinking every interaction, either. Did I say the right thing? Did I act the right way? Was I...cool? Jesus, he really did sound like a teenager, not a grown, mature man in his thirties with a real adult job and real adult responsibilities.

♡ The occasional high of courage shoots through him. He'll occasionally initiate a hang out session. He'll occasionally drop off a gift, maybe a baked pastry or a little trinket he found at the thrift that made him think of you. He'll occasionally write letters and practice speeches confessing his feelings towards you, and he'll occasionally rip the papers up and cringe into his pillow at the quivering in his voice.

♡ Maybe Edward doesn't know what to do with these monstrous feelings of adoration now, but it'll come to the tipping point where he can't bear the feeling of those blooming flowers in his heart anymore. They will outgrow their cage eventually, and he can only pray that you'll accept them and tend to them with him.

[winter-dayz]

Think of me?

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader Brother's Best Friend Genre: Fluff; Smut (if you squint) Words: 1673 Warnings: strong language; sexual content (male masturbation)

Masterlist | 12 Days of Ficmas Masterpost

Taglist:  @soobin-chois

‘It’s gonna be fine. The worst that could happen is that he won’t notice me. Again. And I’ll just remain his best friend’s little sister forever.’

Totally fine.

You shook your head—putting any other self-deprecating thoughts away in a tiny, sealed box in your brain to be dealt with at your next therapy session—and entered.

Each year, your family hosted a Christmas party. It used to be small, contained to the immediate family. But then your brother and you got a little older, begged your parents to let you invite your friends. They allowed it, and invited some of their own friends too. Then other guests wanted to bring their families—parents of your friends and children of your parents’ friends started showing. Soon enough, it became a proper holiday celebration and couldn’t be held at your family home anymore. All of the adults started chipping in to rent space and have it catered. It became a celebration and reunion of sorts from then on.

You made your way through the decent-sized crowd, greeting friends and family as you went, until you found your own parents and brother standing around chatting.

“Hi honey!” Your mom cheered, greeting you with a kiss to your cheek.

“Hi mom,” you smiled and glanced around, “The decorations look really nice this year. I like the red and gold theme.”

She beamed at the praise, motioning to your father, “Your dad picked out the main tree, and some of the others donated the smaller ones. We were going for something homier and warmer this year. People felt that the ‘White Christmas’ last year with all the white and silver was a little too sterile.”

You hummed, “Maybe if you do that theme again throw in gold? Like the song Silver and Gold… Or a nice royal blue if you want it to lean more–”

“Jackson!” Your brother shouted, interrupting your train of thought. Your head whipped around, following his line of sight.

Jackson, your brother’s lifelong best friend, was strolling over to your group. Soft, close-lipped smile on, eyes shining with happiness. He was dressed well, as usual, and had a Santa hat perched on bleach-blonde hair.

It was a different look than you had seen on him last, but you couldn’t deny you were really enjoying it.

‘You’ve got to get yourself together.’ You admonished yourself, tearing your eyes away and trying not to drool over your childhood crush.

Just the thought of him so close once again, though, had your eyes being pulled to him. As you caught another glance of him, you managed to catch his own eyes traveling the length of you.

‘I’m imagining things, right? Surely he didn’t just check me out? Right!?’

“Honey,” Your mom pulled you out of your thoughts, “can you bring yours?”

You hummed, wide-eyed as you refocused on the conversation around you. “What was that?”

“Your air mattress. Can you bring it for Jackson?”

“Why would I do that?”

Your brother looked at you with furrowed brows and said like it was obvious, “So he doesn’t have to sleep on the couch in the basement.”

“I didn’t realize you were coming to the cabin with us for Christmas?” You finally let your eyes flit back to Jackson. He was holding back a smirk in your direction already.

“Yeah, my parents are spending the holidays on a cruise. Didn’t really want to spend Christmas alone so your family is letting me stay with you.”

You felt your entire being tense. You weren’t trying to be defensive, even though you’re sure that’s how it comes off, but all that was running through your brain was getting through the holiday with the big fat crush you still had on your brother’s best friend.

“If you don’t want me to borrow your air mattress, it’s fine. The couch in the basement isn’t that bad.”

“No, no… It’s fine. I have to go back to my apartment and grab my bags after this anyway. I can bring it.”

Jackson’s subtle smirk split into a gentle smile, “I appreciate it.” He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned a bit closer to you, “Between us, that couch is actually really awful. We should use it as kindling.” A bubble burst out of you, and Jackson’s small grin grew, brightening his face and causing his eyes to squint. “There’s that gorgeous smile.” You swore you heard him add on under his breath while you laughed.

🎄

“Hey loser,” your brother tossed a set of sheets onto you as you lounged on the sofa, watching a Christmas movie in the den. “Mom said to take those to Jackson downstairs.”

“And why can’t you do it?”

“I’m going to bed. You’re still up.”

You rolled your eyes as your brother headed towards where the upstairs loft was. You gathered up the sheets and made sure to grab an extra fleece throw, knowing how chilly the cabin basement could get in winter—regardless of how much work your dad put in to finish it and make it a nice guest suite.

Before you bounded down the creaky, wooden stairs, you called down softly, “Jacks?” You waited a moment, cold seeping in through your fuzzy socks, before heading down when you thought you heard him call your name back. “Hey, I brought you some sheets and a blanket since it can get… cold down… here…” You trailed off at the sight before you.

Jackson hadn’t been calling your name as an okay to come downstairs. No, instead, he was too busy moaning your name. His hand was wrapped around his cock, angry red and desperately weeping. Head thrown against the back of the couch, back arched as he bucked into his hand, and legs spread wide with his jeans unbuttoned and just barely pulled down to free himself.

‘He’s jerking himself off. To me? To me!? I shouldn’t be watching this. I shouldn’t be here.’ Your brain was malfunctioning. You knew you should just turn around, march back up those stairs, and come back down in a while with the blankets and sheets. But instead, your gaze darkened on the way he bit his lip to try to smother the louder groans, yet your name and swears still slipped through. Your eyes fluttered as you tracked a bead of sweat streak down his face. Your own mouth fell open, and you groaned at the way his hand flexed and gripped the couch, as if he could barely hold himself back.

Jackson froze, whipping around to find you standing there watching. He let out a sound, somewhere between a yelp and a whine. Embarrassment at having been caught colored his cheeks, neck, and ears.

You could feel that your grip on the sheets was white-knuckled and knew that your thighs were pressed together to release some of the pressure, but you simply cleared your throat and finally averted your eyes.

“I… Um, I br– brought the sheets for the air mattress.” You managed.

Jackson stared wide-eyed and panicked. He rushed to tuck himself away, fixing his hair and standing to take the sheets from you.

As he turned away to toss them onto the couch, he whispered into the awkward air, “I’m so sorry… You weren’t supposed to know… I’m just really sorry.”

“Know?” You flinched in confusion. ‘I’m not supposed to know what? That you masturbate to the thought of me?’ For once, you voiced your thoughts smoothly.

“Um, yeah…” Jackson looked ashamed.

“How… How long?”

His eyes darted to yours and quickly looked away, “Remember the Christmas party after you turned twenty-one?”

It was your turn to feel embarrassment wash over you. Of course you remembered that party. You had enjoyed one too many of your aunt’s famous Ho Ho Hot Cocoa… It was hot chocolate with more chocolate liqueur and peppermint schnapps than actual chocolate and milk.

You ended up nearly black out drunk, with only fuzzy memories of dancing with cousins and flirting with some friends of friends of friends. In fact, you were pretty sure you kissed someone…

“Oh my god!” Jackson rubbed a hand over his face, as you came to the same conclusion. “I kissed you!”

“Yeah… I’m sorry…”

That felt like a slap in the face. “What why? I’m the one who kissed you and then watched you… you know… without your permission. If anything, I’m sorry.”

“Because I enjoyed it…” Jackson hesitated, “I enjoyed both things if I’m honest.”

“Oh…” You breathed, mind blanking. “If… you liked me, why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Your brother told me you’d never like me like that. ‘I’m like a big brother to you,’ were his exact words I think.”

“That fucking idiot!” You screeched, “I’m gonna kill him! I’ve had a crush on you since we were fucking kids, Jacks!”

“You– You… Really?”

“Yeah!”

Jackson burst into laughter, pulling you into his arms. He was a bit clammy, his cologne a bit tainted with the smell of his sweat, and yet, you really didn’t mind.

“Y/N…” He eventually whispered into the crown of your head, “I want you.”

“Oh?” You whispered back into his chest, desire coursing through you.

He pulled back quickly, “Not like that! I mean… Yes, like that too… But– Fuck, I’m fucking this up… I want to be with you. I want to take you on dates and kiss you and cuddle the shit out of you all the time. I want to show you off and come home to the same apartment—at least someday—and then pamper you and fall asleep in each other’s arms.”

You breathed out slowly, “I didn’t know you thought about stuff like that.”

“I never did before you.”

“Well damn, Jackson… What am I supposed to say to all that?” you giggled, wrapping your arms tighter around his waist.

“Say you’ll go out with me.”

“Okay,” you smiled, “on one little condition…” He hummed, and you pressed a kiss to his jawline. “Keep thinking of me like that.”

“I can do that forever, baby.”

[gaymurdersalad]

David, why do you let him treat you like that?! He’s horrible!

>…

>… You— You all…

>… You all… Don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about.

>What in your deluded, goddamned minds thinks ANY of this is okay to say to me— you superficial, you fake plastic bloodsuckers— I thought you cared about me! I thought you were fucking different, I thought you fucking liked me! I thought— Stupid fucking me, right? Thinking with my fuck-rotting brain like I have the goddamn right, yeah, serves me— I thought you would be nice to me!

>Nothing fucking nice lasts, does it? Henry tosses me out like garbage, like I fuckin’ meant nothing to him— and I bet I didn’t, I bet I shoulda blown my motherfuckin’ brains out for him, fuck, maybe then he’d actually like my sorry ass— Now you! You stupid lot, with your stupid fucking glasses and your self righteousness?! Comin’ into MY house and telling me who I should fuckin’ trust, meanwhile you hide behind those shitty shades and chastise ME for being a coward! Fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Do me one favor— oh, if I may ask, given my obvious un-superiority!— and go fuck off to whatever world you came from and make whoever the hell is miserable enough to have you deal with this bullshit.

>Fuck, you all know I’m grown, right? You know I’m an adult who makes his own goddamn choices? Do you— no, of course you do! You think I’m some shit-for-brains autistic kid who can’t make a goddamn decision for himself, you think— think that Jack here is taking advantage of the slow kid, huh? You think I didn’t make this choice? You think if I actually knew he hated me, I wouldn’t fuck off and paint my brains all over the walls of whatever fucking alleyway I’d find myself in, boozin’ and bingin’, because really, what would be the fucking point of life anymore— no! No! I know what the fuck I’m doing! You think you know better than me?! You’re fucking pathetic! You are a goddamn disease on me!

>Get out— Get the FUCK out of our house, you goddamned pests, you blood-sucking leeches! Don’t you EVER show those fuckin’ mugs around here again, you hear me? Next time you ever dare LOOK at me or Jack, I will reach down into yer gullet and peel your supposed-organs out one by one, every rip and tear being slow and worth it. I’ll make you and all your shitty friends WATCH, GOD-DAMMIT!

>NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!

>…

>…

>… Leave the way you came in…

>… Askers.

[ THE GAYMURDERDAVID EVENT CONCLUDES.

DAVID IS NO LONGER OPEN FOR ASKS. ]

[steddieas-shegoes]

Hi friend! 👋 I’d like to submit a request, if I may. It’s not an original prompt, I don’t know where I first saw it, but I haven’t seen an actual fic with this premise yet.

Will comes out to Nancy who goes “I know nothing about this BUT I know someone who does” and brings him to Eddie, who brings both of them (bc let’s be honest Nancy isn’t letting Will out of her sight alone with Eddie) to a gay bar in Indy. Lo and behold who do they see but Steve and Robin. And it’s obvious to those who know what to look for (Eddie) that they’re both looking to get lucky. Steddie endgame (obvs lol) but maybe some Byler as well if you want/can swing it..?

I love everything I’ve read from you so far and I’m sure I’ll love everything you come up with! ❤️ thank you!!!

My star ✨✨✨ This is a future fic, but not future enough for Will to be 21 (I'm gonna put him at 19, almost 20 here so still like a tiny baby but also an adult). The first part of this is definitely Will focused, but there is more focus on Steddie at the bar itself. - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------

“Nancy? Um, can I talk to you?”

Will had been working himself up to this for weeks, months really. He came out to Jonathan and his mom officially last weekend, though they both already knew.

He wasn’t exactly good at hiding it, and around them, he didn’t really try.

But Nancy Wheeler was smart, and she was quick to come to conclusions, and probably already had figured it out.

Plus, she was decent at giving advice, and could possibly give him some insight into how Mike felt if he felt anything at all.

That was why he was here, coming out to her, being brave.

“Of course,” Nancy replied, smiling comfortingly.

She knew. He knew she knew. But he had to say it out loud, he had to get it out there to other people.

“I just have to tell you something that’s like, a big deal, and hopefully it doesn’t bother you, but also I don’t want it to be a big deal. It doesn’t have to be, actually. I just-”

“Will,” Nancy placed her hand on his shoulder, looked up at him with a knowing smirk. “Just say it.”

“I’m gay.”

There. He said it. It’s done.

Nancy nodded once, like she was confirming that she heard him, but she already knew, which was what he expected.

“Anything else?”

“Um. I’m in love with Mike?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. Anything else?”

“What do you mean it’s pretty obvious? I thought I hid it okay!”

Nancy laughed. She actually laughed.

“The only person who doesn’t notice that you’re in love with Mike, is Mike, and that’s had a few close calls. And before you ask, I have no idea how he feels. I know he’s in denial about his sexuality, so once he clears that up, who knows. But for now, let’s focus on you. What do you need from me?”

Nancy had a “let’s get down to business” attitude that Will respected, that everyone respected, but she sometimes forgot that not everything was business.

“Well, I guess just…support?”

Nancy raised her brows.

“That’s it? You already had that.”

“I guess maybe…advice?”

“I mean, I really don’t have any for Mike. He’s an enigma even to me,” she started.

“No. I mean, it would be helpful to have it, yes, but just. In general?” Will interrupted, a blush covering his cheeks.

“Oh! About…” she trailed off as she realized what he was asking.

“Okay, well I don’t know anything about that or really anything, but I know who does!” Nancy clapped her hands together.

—-------------

“Eddie?” Will asked as they stood on his porch, waiting for him to answer the door.

“Uh-huh.”

���Eddie’s gay?”

“Well, he’s bisexual, but he would be the one who knows the most,” she answered.

“Prettier Wheeler! What a surprise!” Eddie exclaimed when he opened the door. “And my favorite Byers! Were we supposed to be doing something tonight? Fuck, did I forget something? Wayne is convinced the bats ate the part of my brain that holds memory, even though they didn’t even bite my head.”

Eddie was a rambler, sort of like Robin, but he usually at least made some sense.

“No, no you didn’t forget anything. Will just needs some guidance on something,” Nancy said as she pushed her way into the trailer. “Is Wayne home?”

“Uh. Nope. Come on in, I guess,” he said, nodding at Will.

Once they were all settled on the couch and chair, Nancy gestured for Will to tell Eddie.

Will wasn’t prepared for it, but he knew he could trust him, especially if what Nancy said was true.

“I’m gay.”

It was getting easier to say out loud, just like it had been easier to say to himself when he first realized it and started letting himself think it every day.

“Amazing! Was that a secret?” Eddie asked, somewhat confused.

“Apparently not as much of one as I thought. But yeah, just my mom, Jonathan, Nancy, and you know. Officially, anyway.”

“So you have a boyfriend? Is that why you’re coming out?”

“No. I haven’t-”

“Oh, so Mike hasn’t gotten it together yet?” Eddie asked, playing with his rings distractedly.

“Nope. But it’s gonna take a big moment for that to happen. Will just needs some guidance on other stuff,” Nancy said.

“Oh! Like sex?”

Will was as red as he could possibly be.

“No! Not sex. Just, like, being gay I guess.”

Eddie looked between Will and Nancy a few times.

“Right. So let’s go,” he said as he stood up, making his way to his bedroom at the end of the hall.

Will and Nancy looked at each other, then back to where Eddie disappeared.

Before they could say anything, Eddie was back in the room, his new denim battle vest pulled on, and his boots laced up.

“Let’s go. Got places to be, queers to see!” Eddie yelled as he started moving out the front door.

“What the hell,” Nancy shrugged, getting up and following him out the door.

“What is happening,” Will said to himself as he followed them both.

—--------------

What was happening was that Eddie was taking him to a queer bar on the outskirts of downtown Indianapolis.

He’d heard of the place during his very little research of the local scene. He’d heard it was shut down twice in the 70s because of police raids, but now it was mostly just a quiet, safe place for queer people to be themselves.

The bar was laid back, only two bartenders even on the busiest nights, usually just pouring draft beers and the occasional martini. A jukebox in the corner never stopped playing, even when they only had a handful of customers.

A sign at the door said “THIRSTY THURSDAY: QUENCH YOUR THIRST AT THE BAR AND ON THE DANCE FLOOR!”

Will felt a little out of his element as he took in the amount of people crowding the bar, the tables, the small dancing area that really couldn’t even be considered a dancefloor.

Eddie seemed right at home, and he explained it was because he came pretty regularly, usually just to try to convince the owner to let his band play sometime, but he’d managed a few bathroom hookups along the way.

Will couldn’t hide his blush at that thought, knowing that he was in a place where that would not only be possible, but that it would be encouraged, maybe even expected had his mind fantasizing.

He welcomed it; Anything to get rid of the thoughts of Mike, who would probably never get his head out of his ass even if Will came out to him.

“Alright, one drink rule for the kiddo!” Eddie said as he walked to the bar with a hop to his step.

He was always exuberant, but he just seemed light here.

Will kept looking around, taking it all in.

Nancy suddenly grabbed his arm, and when he looked over, her eyes were huge.

He followed her line of sight, only getting distracted for a moment by a very attractive man who looked to be about his age.

His eyes settled on Steve and Robin.

In a queer bar.

In Indy.

“Is that-”

“It is.”

“But-”

“Uh-huh.”

Eddie came up behind them, drinks in hand.

“Alright, drink up! Take the edge off and then you can have some wonderful experiences- what are you two looking at?” Eddie looked over and his eyes widened. “Not possible.”

“It’s them.”

“But, they aren’t. Are they?”

Eddie squinted, looking at the way they were standing, what they were wearing, the way Steve was open to the room, not turned towards Robin.

“Oh my God,” he said.

“What?” Nancy’s head whipped towards him.

“How did I miss it? I spend so much time- but, no. He- and she- no.”

“Eddie, you aren’t making any sense! What?” Nancy whisper-yelled, as if anyone could hear them over the sound of everyone else talking and the music playing.

“They’re both queer! They’re here lookin’ for someone!”

“That’s impossible. Steve is the straightest person I know. I think even Mike knows he’s more likely to-” Nancy was cut off by Will hitting her arm. “What?”

“Robin just looked over here.”

“Shit.”

“Shit.”

They all looked at each other, panic in their eyes, as they realized it was only a matter of moments before they were completely caught here.

But, really, what was there to worry about? They were here, without knowing anyone they knew would be here, clearly looking for someone.

Will turned back to them, watching as Steve and Robin both looked at them with wide eyes.

“Might as well go talk to them,” he said before walking towards them, not waiting for Nancy or Eddie to agree.

“O…kay,” Eddie sighed before following.

Nancy followed silently, and Eddie didn’t really have time to figure out what her face was doing because Steve and Robin ended up meeting them halfway.

“Hi guys!” Robin waved, awkward as always, maybe more so because of where they were. “Kinda weird seeing you here, right? Like in Indy? Or in a bar? Since Will is underage! And also this is a pretty specific establishment, so-”

“What Robin means is,” Steve starts, lines in his forehead making him look more serious than he needs to be. “Why are you in a queer bar in Indianapolis?”

Robin smacked Steve’s arm, but he didn’t even flinch, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Like he was ready to protect Robin.

And himself.

“Well, this happens to be one of my favorite bars, and Will needed to be in this type of environment for the first time, ya know?” Eddie said in a way that would definitely give away more if Robin and Steve were actually here because they were queer.

“So you’re…” Steve relaxed slightly.

“I am. Are you?”

“Um. Yeah. Yep. I am.”

“Me too,” Robin added.

“Yeah, so am I,” Will said.

All of them looked to Nancy, who suddenly seemed to catch up to the conversation.

“Oh! Um, not me! I don’t think. I’m just here for support!” She had never looked or sounded as nervous as she was in this moment.

“So how’s the crowd today?” Eddie asked.

To be honest, Eddie hadn’t bothered trying to find a hookup here for months.

The reason?

The man standing in front of him: Steve Harrington.

He’d tried, really he had.

But every time he thought he would get beyond basic flirting with someone, he thought about the way Steve sometimes touched his arm or his shoulder for longer than he needed to when he passed by him, and the way Steve would rest his head on his shoulder during movie nights, or the way he sometimes looked at him like he wanted to devour him.

Like he was right now.

Eddie would be nervous about it, but he doesn’t think Steve actually means anything by it.

He just has a very intense stare sometimes.

“Eddie!”

“Sorry! What?” He turned to see Robin and Will giving him knowing looks. “What?”

“I’m gonna take Nancy and Will over to a table that just opened up. You coming?” Robin asked.

“Sure, in a minute. Gonna run to the bathroom first,” he said, ignoring the way Steve was still watching him.

He walked away before anyone else could say anything.

He just needed a minute or two to collect himself.

The realization that Robin and Steve were here for the same reasons he was was probably going to need more than a minute or two, but he could deal with it later.

The bathroom of this place wasn’t the best, probably hadn’t been properly cleaned since the place opened, but it also wasn’t the worst place to have a minor breakdown.

He didn’t cry, but it was damn close.

It was overwhelming to know that there were others in their little group like him, but it was also just a lot to take in that those other people included Steve.

He heard the bathroom door open behind him, but he didn’t look up, just assumed it was someone else from the bar.

He stood at the sink, looking down, gathering himself to go back out and pretend this was entirely normal when a hand gripped his waist.

His head shot up and he looked in the mirror to see Steve’s reflection looking back at him, a hesitant smile on his face.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

They stared at each other in the mirror, silent except for their breathing and the muffled sound of the music from outside the bathroom.

“I didn’t know you were…”

“Me either,” Eddie said quickly.

“You didn’t know you were queer?”

“No! No. Wait. I did know that. I knew it a long time ago. I mean I didn’t know you were,” Eddie clarified, unable to properly focus on anything except the way Steve’s hand felt on his side.

His thumb was rubbing circles against his shirt, the fabric bunching up little by little.

“It’s a new-ish discovery.”

“How new?”

Steve looked down at where his hand was resting on Eddie, then back up, his face red.

“March.”

“Oh?”

Eddie caught up quickly, realized what was happening, and definitely didn’t want it to stop even though he wasn’t sure how far he wanted it to go in the bar bathroom.

“Yeah. This annoying guy who was trying to steal Dustin from me decided to get involved in all our fucked up shit and Robin informed me that the way I was acting and talking about him wasn’t very heterosexual. Her words, not mine.” Steve smirked. “So, I kinda just admitted to myself I was into him and now I’m here.”

“Oh. Is the guy at this bar right now?”

“Yeah. He is.”

Eddie turned around and pushed Steve against the bathroom door as gently as he could.

“You’ve been driving me mad for years, Stevie. You know that?”

“Years?” Steve gulped, but kept smiling.

“Years. And now you’ve given me all that I need to do something about it.”

“Have I?”

Eddie answered him with a kiss.

It wasn’t spectacular, wasn’t even that good as far as kisses go.

Steve seemed caught off guard, like he hadn’t actually expected Eddie to take what was right in front of him, take control.

But then he caught up.

His hands gripped Eddie’s hips tight, the rest of his body relaxing against the wall as Eddie crowded against him further, their fronts touching from head to feet.

Their second kiss came right after a pause for breath, and that one was spectacular.

It was longer, wetter, hotter.

Eddie didn’t want it to end.

But someone banged on the door and they couldn’t be those people.

As they moved away to let the person in, Steve leaned his head against Eddie’s shoulder, like he did on movie night.

“So you’re into me too?” He asked.

Eddie could hear the smirk in his tone, didn’t even need to look down or at their reflection in the mirror to know he was being a little shit.

“No, I just kiss all the boys who come up behind me in bathrooms.”

Steve leaned his head back and nipped at Eddie’s neck, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Behave, big boy. Gotta go pretend we weren’t five seconds from fucking around in a public bathroom,” Eddie said as he guided Steve out of the bathroom.

When they got back into the main room, Steve tensed, started to pull away.

Eddie let him, tried not to let it bother him.

But then he was back, head back on his shoulder, arm around his waist.

“Sorry. Just. Not used to this being something I can do,” he said so only Eddie could hear.

“‘S okay. We’re safe here, though.”

No one commented on it when they got back to the table, though they both could tell everyone wanted to.

Will seemed ready to explode with excitement when someone came and asked him to dance and everyone at the table encouraged him to go.

He wasn’t much of a dancer, but he’d learn.

Nancy and Robin eventually went back to the bar to grab more drinks, and Eddie couldn’t help but watch the way Nancy was looking at one of the women who was standing alone by the jukebox.

“Hey, is it possible that Nancy’s…”

“Oh, yeah. Robin and I have had at least four conversations about how much the Wheelers desperately need to admit to themselves that sexuality is fluid.”

Eddie pulled away to look down at Steve, baffled at how educated he was on everything and kind of hating himself for being surprised.

“You’re somethin’ else, sweetheart.”

Steve kissed his cheek in response.

—-------------------

Nancy came out to them a month later, at the same bar, while staring at the same woman who was standing by the jukebox the month before.

She didn’t really use a label, but didn’t feel like she had to.

Mike took a bit longer, but eventually, Will lost his patience and kissed him.

He came out about ten seconds later.

[flowersandbigteeth]

Can we have another kelpie story Like one the day after where he like explains himself??

This one is sfw and is just some Kelpie fluff 😊 Vylkas is an absolute hot mess and I adore him...

Kelpie (Vylkas) x female reader

Word Count: 1.5k

🌶️ NSFW MASTERPOST 🌶️

A/N: please, please don't smoke it is so, so bad for you. Vylkas can do it because he is a Kelpie and has magic or whatever and he thinks it looks cool

W: some bullying, sfw kelpie fluff, yandere vibe, smoking

You woke to Vylkas rummaging around in your nightstand. The sun was shining through the windows and the rain had cleared. Birds chirped outside and little, glittering drops of water dripped down your windowpane from the gutters. He glanced at you and shot you a frown. 

“Don’t you have any cigarettes?” he asked.

You blinked at him and narrowed your eyes.

“No, of course not! Get out of there!” you said, crawling over and slapping his hands away from the drawer where you kept your private toys and a box of condoms that neither of you had bothered with the night before. 

Giving up, his eyes traveled over your shoulders which he’d covered in love bites and he smiled, circling one with his finger. You blushed and looked up at him through your ruffled hair. 

“So can we talk about last night?” you asked and then sank back against your cushioned headboard, your blanket pressed to your chest to cover the sensitive bits.

He flopped his head into your lap and looked up at you, playing with a tendril of your hair. 

“What do you wanna know?” he asked, innocently. 

You twisted your lip and cocked your head at him. 

“Oh I dunno, what the fuck any of that was…declaring me your mate? I mean…were you joking? Was that a line to get me into bed? Just tell me straight,” you said, rubbing your arm. 

You suddenly felt very naked and vulnerable. Vylkas had to have been playing with you. It wasn’t a nice game, but you were an adult. If that’s what this was, you could handle it. 

He frowned at you and looked wounded. 

“Why would you think I’d be joking or feeding you lines?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbow. 

You blinked at him and waved your hand between the two of you. 

“I mean look at us. You’re you and I’m me. We don’t exactly match,” you said. 

He furrowed his brow. 

“Who told you that?” he asked. 

You snorted. 

“No one had to tell me. Everywhere we go everyone is drooling over you. I’d figured you’d go for a fairy or a siren or something...er someone…pretty, I guess.” 

He looked dumbfounded, as if you’d said something utterly ridiculous. 

Cupping your cheek he gave you a small smile. 

“(Y/N), you’re the most beautiful woman I know,” he said, “I’ve always thought so. I don’t make a habit of spending my time with ugly people and I certainly wouldn’t make one my mate…though if hypothetically you were to be horribly disfigured in a fire, I would still love you and seek vengeance on your behalf, so don’t worry about that.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, unsure if you should really be flattered by that compliment, but your heart fluttered anyway. 

“Anyway, stop trying to talk yourself out of it. You’re my mate now,” he pouted, tapping your cheek, “do you have any coffee?”

His mood shifted like the weather, as usual. You blinked at him. 

“You love me?” you asked, trying to keep him on track. 

Again, he looked at you as if all this should have been obvious to you. 

“Of course,” he said, “that’s why I’ve mated you. Come on, let’s go get some coffee and cigarettes. You’ll have to drive, I walked over here.” 

Coffee sounded like just what you needed. Trying to talk to Vylkas was like pulling teeth with your brain foggy with sleep. You pulled yourself out of bed, your body aching just a bit. 

After dressing and making yourself halfway presentable, you loaded Vylkas into your car and first stopped at the gas station so he could pick up cigarettes, finally ending up at a little coffee shop you liked. To your surprise, he pulled out his wallet and paid for your drink. You didn’t know he could carry stuff with him when he transformed. 

Taking a table outside, you sat in the sun while he smoked watching the people go by. 

“So I was thinking we could have a pond put in our backyard,” he said, looking through his phone as he leaned his long body across the table so your heads were touching and showing you pond pictures from Pinterest, while his cigarette hung out of his mouth, “nothing huge, just enough room for a few bodies.” 

“What-?” you started, but you were interrupted by a pretty fairy approaching. She had perfect pink hair that you’d die to have, but could never hope to maintain and a cute button nose. 

“Hey there,” she said, smiling, and trying to catch his eyes, “I saw you from across the street and I was wonder-”

“We can put it right by the apple tree so you can see me from the kitchen when I'm wallowing…with the water lilies and the rocks done up like they did it here. I think I’ll look best with irises too to compliment my eyes, they are darker in my horse form," he said, then glanced up at you, “are you listening (Y/N)? This is important!”  

“Okay, okay, this one is perfect!” he said, leaning back across the table to you and showing you the screen of his phone. How he didn’t get it soaking wet when he returned to his lake you had no idea.

Of course, you really didn’t understand a lot of things about Vylkas, like how he was completely ignoring the beauty that was trying to pick him up. 

You looked over his shoulder at the woman standing there awkwardly and he finally followed your eyes. 

“Oh, no thank you sweetie we don’t want to buy any cookies,” he said to her and then turned back to you, “See how they put in the waterfall? We should do it-” 

She looked offended and cleared her throat at him. 

“Actually,” she said a little louder, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“Ah!” he shouted, throwing her hand off while he patted himself down, looking around a bit frantically, “do I have a spider on me?!” 

You couldn’t help but giggle a little into your coffee for this poor woman. Vylkas was incredibly good looking, but he could be a handful. She appeared to be composing herself. 

“No!” she huffed, “I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?!” 

He frowned at her and put his hand on yours. 

“Don’t you think it’s a little trashy and tasteless to ask a guy out in front of his mate?” he snorted, shaking his head and laughing to himself, before he went back to Pinterest. 

“So here they did this cool thing with the rocks-”

She stiffened, offended, and her cheeks turned pink. 

“Well I couldn’t tell by looking at her!” she snapped. 

You blushed and looked down, your cheeks warming and your eyes prickling. Of course it was obvious you didn’t belong together. He glanced at her. 

“I can understand how it would be hard for someone so blind they thought pepto pink and piss yellow were a winning combination,” he snorted, “have you had your eyes checked recently? You're dressed like a four year old who needs glasses.” 

She looked like she might pop from clutching her pearls and stormed off. 

You couldn’t help but bark out a little laugh. Your dimming mood brightening just slightly.

“Vylkas,” you chided, “that was mean!” 

He shrugged, ashing his cigarette. 

“Whatever,” he said, his green eyes flicking up to yours with unexpected seriousness, “don’t listen to women like that. She doesn’t value herself and wants a stranger on the street to tell her what she’s worth by pitting herself against other women. It’s pretty sad, really. The Goddess promises us our fated mate and I found mine.

"No one else will ever be good enough. No other woman is ever going to be pretty or interesting enough because the woman I want is you. It always has and always is going to be you. Tomorrow, five years, one hundred years. If you were a worm that I had to carry around in a box of dirt. I’m always going to choose you.”

He looked down at your hand and played with your fingers a little, brushing them with his larger ones. 

“If I have to be honest with you, I took you for granted…when we started hanging out we were such a good fit, I thought you’d always just be there following me around…but I’m starting to see that’s a dangerous game I’m not willing to play. If I don’t make my intentions clear, I could lose you.” 

A small smile was forming on your face at his warm words, but his eyes narrowed. 

“I can’t live without you and I will murder anyone who dares try and get between us,” he snarled, searching your eyes. 

“Woah, okay,” you said, “let’s just maybe…go back to looking at ponds…” 

“So you like the idea? I was also thinking we could put fish in it, but not Koi. I hate those rude fuckers…they think they're prettier than me...” he went on. 

He beamed at you and showed you his phone again, making sure your foreheads were touching together and his hand was stroking yours as he shared his ideas with you. If you needed a constant reminder that you two belonged together he had no problem providing it in a million different ways.

He'd tell you, touch you, kill for you until you understood so well these random women couldn't hope to touch you. The pink haired was on borrowed time for hurting your feelings.

You listened to him review his plans for your, now his, backyard while you sipped your coffee, wondering if mating a serial killer was really a good idea and if you really even had a choice. Determining you probably didn’t, you started looking for landscaping companies to hire to dig up your lawn while you squeezed Vylkas' hand back.  

[james-is-here]

Yo, sorry for the theme change but I started to not like the Hub look 😅

This is for @thatcucumberwhore who thought an Innie version of my Chanlix thong reaction would be hot so here it be, I got chyu , it might be bad but I got chyu 🩵

Agi Yeou | 아기 여우 | Baby Fox ☺️

"Agi Yeou~ So cute~" You teased the younger, poking his cheek as he tried to push you away but you just got closer.

This back and forth kept happening for awhile until, for Jeongin's sake, you were pulled away by a member of staff calling for you.

It's not that he doesn't like your affection. He loves it, actually, but sometimes he'd like to be seen as an adult, grown man, in front the cameras and as much as he can in front of the members, they're just as bad but they do see him as grown, and you respect that but how could you not tease him and whatnot when you know a little secret of his, that secret being that he's only baby with you, alone, in the cover of night usually.

With the moon being the only source of light, that's when you call him Agi Yeou, Your Agi Yeou, Your Baby fox.

He was grateful you got pulled away, his ears tinged red slightly as he was teased for his nickname, your nickname that the other members have picked up and started using as teasing material, the name that triggers flashbacks and Jeongin can't help but keep his head down as the laces of his boots suddenly became really interesting rather then facing Hyunjin and Minho cooing at him with light giggles.

He stood up, trying to not make it obvious that he was just trying to escape the situation, and walked across the dressing room to distract himself with the drink fridge, succeeding when his thoughts strayed from yours and his nightly endeavors to wether or not he should get you a drink as well and deciding which one.

Someone stepped up next to him and he didn't pay any attention until an arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. He looked up slightly, you were still looking at the drink options as if the grip you were applying to his hip didn't exist as you held him close. "Can I help you, Hyung?" "Nope." You said popping the 'p' while still looking at the drinks. You weren't, really, just acting as your fingers were slowly making their way under his shirt until your hand rested on his waist when the side of your hand caught something and your breath hitched.

Jeongin saw, confused until his brain kickstarted and he remembered what he was wearing. Goosebumps rose on his arms as your light touch moved back down until he could feel two fingers slide under the band and he could feel a small movement which was your thumb analyzing the material of the band.

"Jeongin-ah?" Jeongin looked down at his shoes, his hands still fidgeting in front of him from when he was looking over the fridge and he grew nervous. "IN-ah?" He still stayed quiet, not really knowing what to say until thankfully, Felix came over with a camera, filming for Skz-talker. You reluctantly pulled away with a soft grunt and turned to Felix as Jeongin stepped away and walked away to leave the room, telling Chan who asked where he was rushing off to that he was using the restroom before they went on stage.

The entire ceremony. That's how long you had to wait.

He was avoiding you, even while performing he wouldn't make eye contact with you during you twos center stage moment, he didn't complete your heart when you two stood in front of each other. It made you sad but also a little annoyed, why wouldn't he just talk to you? Did he think you were put off by what he was wearing? If you judged the fabric correctly, it was a thong. You wanted to see it, needed to see it now that you have a vague picture of what it could look like.

After getting off stage, taking mic packs off and chugging water, Jeongin declared that he was going to the bathroom again and after waiting a few minutes, you said the same thing, taking long strides so you could get to the bathroom as soon as possible.

Pushing the door open, you're met with Jeongin reaching for the door. You side step into the bathroom, your hand placed on his collar at the base of his neck as you push the door closed the rest of the way and pin the younger to the wall. The air knocked out of Jeongin at the roughness and speed of it all as he looks up into your bright green contacted eyes. "Hyung-" "Shut up." A squeak left him at the harsh tone as he shut his mouth, hands splayed on the wall behind him shaking as he resisted looking away from your gaze.

"Why are you avoiding me?" "I wasn't-" "Yes, you were, don't lie Agi Yeou, remember the last time you lied to me? Now, Why were you avoiding me?"

"I-I...I was afraid..." "Afraid of what?" "Y-You...I-It sounded like y-you didn't like what you found earlier and I-I thought you were disgusted." So you were right.

"What exactly was it that I found, huh?" You asked, keeping your right hand on his collar and moving the other to the wall next to his head. He looked away, a little embarrassed but not because he's cornered and being interrogated, because he's growing warm trapped between you and the wall, your hand inches away from choking him and the faint feeling of your leg near his crotch.

"Agi, What exactly did I find?" He whines, still not looking at you. "Jeongin, you don't tell me, I'll leave you high and dry." You snapped slightly and he broke, he can't handle being left, it sucks, he feels empty and he can't even solve it himself since you've been with him for half as long as Stray Kids has been together and he can't seem to cum on his own.

He mumbles, not wanting to say it aloud but your warmth starts to fade from him and he panics. "A thong! Th-The straps of th-the thong is what you felt..." He whines, squirming in his spot on the wall as you smirk.

Your hands move to his hips and he whines at the loss of your hand near you neck before jumping when you started undoing his belt and unbuttoning his pants in order to untuck his top and finally see the straps on his hips more clearly, the flaps of his pants folded out and slightly revealing his growing bulge.

"H-Hyung~ please do something~" Jeongin whines as you just stare, sliding your fingers over the bands before gripping his hips, looking back up and crashing your lips onto his and immediately biting his bottom lip before sliding it past his lips and claiming his mouth.

You swallow his moans and whines, taking a step forward and pushing him further into the wall. Nothing mattered, not even the current group's muffled song outside the bathroom, all that mattered was your Agi Yeou and possibly your quietest quickie yet.

Let's not talk about Chan going to find you two after it being quite some time and immediately turning back around before his hand even touched the door.

I might actually do a full fic on this since I was about to go into full blown fic mode when I was just doing a one shot but be on the lookout, I'm definitely writing this one as a full smut fic.

I hope this is suitable, I realized I made Jeongin possibly really subby and I'm sorry but I'm in my Jeongin zone and it got away from me 😅

[carulenes]

an analysis of wolfwood’s characterization in trigun stampede as well as his connection to vash (+ why i believe he’s likely much older than we think)

okay i’ve been thinking abt this since eps 10 or 11 were released (this show became my special interest the second it dropped if i'm being completely honest) but its been scratching at my brain ever since i read the sakuracon radio interview and since i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this yet i figured i may as well because it’s clear they really did pull very extensively from the manga and i really am loving how they adapted his character. also i occasionally keep seeing the “tristamp wolfwood is a kid/is 14-15” takes which i need to at least try to help put to rest bc they make no sense given his other iterations and would actively make the story worse.

a quick tldr of my main points before i get on my very long winded soapbox:

wolfwood in trigun stampede has been used as an undying, unkillable soldier by the eye of michael for decades.

rollo as a character, as opposed to monev the gale, was designed specifically as a metaphor for wolfwood’s backstory.

wolfwood and vash are written to be literal complements to one another.

I literally don’t think I have the space to talk abt all my thoughts, and ofc these are all my personal thoughts so any and all of what i’m saying could be wrong, but direct analysis of eps 4-7 (as I think they’re the most important) and discussion of his trajectory in general under the cut (obvious spoilers for the show but also the manga as well as tw: discussions of suicide/suicidal ideation as well as the general tw list for the show's graphic content):

Starting first with a side point that Wolfwood was never a child at any point he was with Vash during thecourse of the story, including the manga. He has always been a man in his 20s, with trimax ww having the appearance of being in his 30s or 40s. It is absolutely crucial to his and Vash’s characterizations, as well as their entire dynamic together, that Wolfwood is an adult. Could make an entire separate post about this, but I feel like starting here is important.

Onto the sakuracon japan radio interview. The team gave a LOT of interesting insight into the development of the show, but one specific point stood out to me:

This is important, because I definitely missed it during the show’s initial run, but I think it’s REALLY obvious once you know what you’re looking for, and is a big factor in why I think he’s likely older than we realized.

————

EP 4: These are the very first lines that are said about him in the show, and the very first time we see him, he is absolutely exhausted:

We know that at this point, Wolfwood is likely on his way to Jeneora Rock to meet up with Vash to fulfill his contract...until Vash and co. quite literally slam into him (and his life) unexpectedly, nearly killing him with their van. He probably should’ve died except… he’s on his feet almost instantly, able to walk perfectly fine and being a jackass as though he didn’t get launched halfway across the desert by a moving vehicle. Which is… odd, naturally.

When they try to find help and instead find the dead couple, he specifically mentions that he isn't a priest like he's been in other iterations. He's now an undertaker, someone meant to guide others through their deaths:

His personality is hard to tap down. He's goofy and childish and downright unlikeable, and there's a hint of something lurking deeper, something menacing and potentially dangerous. So much so that Roberto is on edge the entire time their group is together after being swallowed by the Grand Worm, and flat out tells Vash that Wolfwood is untrustworthy and likely an assassin, "a man who can kill with a smile on his face". And Vash’s response is… really fucking weird, given how long the two have known each other:

not to mention he's wearing sunglasses Wolfwood is rightfully very ??? in response because, what the fuck is he talking about, and why is he so genuine about it, they just met???

Fast forward to a bit later, when Wolfwood is like "hey man, you really shouldn't be so trusting. I could've shot you in the back several times now." To which Vash is like "but you didn't, though." And Wolfwood is even more confused because is this guy stupid???

And then it's time for the final act: Wolfwood reveals his Punisher, destroying the Grand Worm while giving the illusion of taking out Zazie as well. Meryl was informed by someone that Wolfwood had been the one to save them all, but when she tries to thank him, he immediately shifts the subject, being annoying and arguably completely unlikeable. Roberto points out that Wolfwood had lied about who he was, trying to get Vash to realize that he still can't be trusted, and again Vash shoots it down: "We're alive because of him."

Wolfwood showed his role as the Punisher without hesitation, and not only was Vash not really phased by it, but he actually seemed to be inspired by him, stopping his self-destructive tendencies and even repeating his own words back to him. And that's the moment we finally learn his name in the show:

But then, almost immediately, we have a complete reversal of his scene with Vash in the Worm. It’s also of note that Zazie always specifically says human lives:

————

EP 5: One of the most important episodes in this discussion, and it starts with the name alone, "Child of Blessing". Here’s a very general summary:

A young boy in a much less than ideal living situation is chosen to be 'a blessing upon the world through his sacrifice', which turns out to secretly be mutilative experimentation on children in search of a subject compatible with a mysterious medicine that can heal any injury. The meds warp him, morph him into something that doesn't even appear to be human. He tries to return home, but his mother, the only family he knows and loves, is terrified of him. She calls him a monster, and the boy finds himself struggling to articulate who he is. Then, he wanders alone alone without purpose in that unchanging altered body, a body that can withstand lethal amounts of damage directly because of the meds, for at least 20 years. All he has is a single name: Vash the Stampede, the person who promised to save him, and the one person who managed to bring back his consciousness in the end, if only for a moment.

The moment Nicholas sees Rollo regenerate is the second the switch flips. He instantly demands to know what the fuck is up with him, and when Vash responds telling him that he was too late to give him the medicine he needed, Wolfwood shuts down, because he recognizes himself. From this moment until the rest of the episode, we are no longer seeing Nicholas D. Wolfwood; we're seeing Nicholas the Punisher.

Vash continues to push Rollo to remember who he is, while Nicholas continuously says that there's no way to save him, that he's already a monster now. In the final moments, Nicholas inevitably feels tasked with Rollo's death like the undertaker he is, and when Vash angrily demands to know why he took the shot, his response is:

When discussing Rollo's killer, Elendira refers to Nicholas by name, but Conrad specifically states that no, he is the Punisher.

In vol 10 of the manga, Vash thinks to himself: “I met a strange man. Just as I thought we had come to an understanding, I found that our core beliefs were opposed to each other. I was used to such situations, but I wonder how he felt.”

————

EP 6: This episode builds directly upon the foundations set by the episode prior. Child of Blessing ended with Rollo being referred to repeatedly as a monster, and this episode begins with Nicholas in the middle of completing a kill. Right before he does, his victim gets one final glance at his assailant, an inhuman looking executioner, and calls him a monster… directly because he will not die. He’s also been shown knocking back meds like tequila shots in tristamp, which we all know was NOT possible in the manga. During the flashback scene, Nicholas is literally called the Child of Blessing.

We see a very similar sequence with Nicholas that we saw with Rollo; the horrific torture, the bodily mutilation (during which Conrad specifically mentions that the drug will heal all damage done the body, as well as rebuild and strengthen the cells), and the attempt to return home:

Something different happens with Nicholas, though. Nicholas can't go home; he’s literally yanked away from his chance at freedom by Legato. Nicholas can’t go home, likely ever again in his mind, because Hopeland Orphanage and the Eye of Michael represent two fundamentally different ideals.

Hopeland (and thus Livio) is exactly like its name for Nicholas: it is is land of hope, the only place in the world where Wolfwood was allowed to exist freely. When Nicholas was taken by EoM, Wolfwood began to die.

The entirety of the EoM is shrouded in imagery of death and rebirth, specifically in regards to humanity. Humanity in this case has a dual meaning: humanity as a species, and humanity as a concept. Their philosophy is that the end justifies the means in that humans in this form will be preserved and would likely live exceedingly longer lives but, as repeatedly mentioned, there are side effects.

Aging and death are integral parts of the human experience, the two aspects of life that we ALL experience regardless of circumstance. Can you be human without humanity?

The message behind these two episodes is to show that the process of becoming part of the EoM is a metaphorical crucifixion symbolizing the death of one’s humanity. And Nicholas is interesting, because he’s almost the perfect specimen in their eyes and is treated as such. Almost. The only thing holding him back are the two strands of humanity he has left, both which are nearly destroyed in the very next episode.

————

EP 7: In the previous episode, during the animated flashback of Nicholas and Livio, we see a few scattered scenes of other people living at the orphanage. Interestingly, while almost all of the children are seen with very sparse detail (or even none really at all), there is one person, the caretaker, whose face we get a pretty clear picture of. At the very beginning of this episode, we have the first and only shot of the inside of the orphanage in the usual style. While none of the children are familiar and actually aren’t incredibly distinguishable from one another, there is one figure in the room with recognizable hair, but looks considerably older than in the flashback:

During the majority of their interactions, you don’t see Nicholas and Livio interacting with any of the other children. They are simply a background, a set piece to the story and a representation of just how other they were forced to become.

This episode features them fighting each other, dealing each other what should be mortal wounds, but somehow remain standing, as though they’re perfectly fine. As if on cue, the soldiers stationed call them both monsters and run away in fear.

But Vash doesn’t run from the danger. He runs towards it.

Nicholas tries to stop him, and all he gets in return is “he’s important to you, isn’t he?” as though that’s enough. But it is enough for Vash. And Nicholas doesn’t know what to do with that.

Nicholas comes dangerously close to giving up, to giving into his role as the Punisher and killing the last bit of Wolfwood to do so, but it’s Vash who stops him. He diverts his shot and, instead of hurting Livio, literally frees Nicholas from Legato and Zazie’s trap. Vash tells him to make him remember, and Nicholas thinks it’s bullshit… until he doesn’t.

And when he finally relents, when he tries to emulate what the silly blonde idiot keeps screaming at him about… It works. For a moment, but Livio does wake up for a moment. Nicholas hadn’t been able to see Rollo, but he did see this. And he really doesn’t know what to do about it.

To drive the point home, Livio drives a bullet into his own head and falls to the ground in a scene very reminiscent of Rollo’s death… but is implied to still be alive. With him saved, now it’s time for Hopeland. And this is when the narrative really turns a focus to the balance between Nicholas and Vash.

The group is half convinced that they’re about to die snd that the town will be destroyed when, all of a sudden, it’s Nicholas who’s yelling that they have to do something. Because despite all the noise Nicholas makes about self-sacrifice and calling Vash a weirdo, he’s directly inspired by his energy, which is proven correct when Vash is the first one to side with him.

Then, somehow despite the odds, the two of them manage to work together to stop the ion cannon. Which should have been impossible. And because of this, Nicholas is finally willing to give Vash the chance to take the lead on things.

When Vash and Wolfwood discuss their plan to save Hopeland, and after they argue about which method is the correct one, the conversation they have is probably the clearest depiction of Nicholas’ inner struggle:

Nicholas: Have it your way. Just for today. I do owe you one… but if the orphanage doesn’t survive this, I’ll hurt you so bad you’ll wish you were dead before I kill you.

Vash: Wolfwood…

Nicholas: Shut up! I’m the Punisher! I’m not like you… I’m Nicholas the Punisher…

He murmurs the last line as though he’s trying to convince himself. He uses his persona as the Punisher almost like a mask, like a cat puffing up and hissing to deter predators. It’s a defense mechanism, and a trauma response. Except.. it still doesn’t work, because the entire time Vash is simply not listening. Regardless of what Nicholas says, Vash does not stop fighting Nicholas on the title that was forced on him by the EoM and, in fact, blatantly rejects it. And the moment Nicholas finishes speaking, when he declares himself to be the Punisher, the episode’s title card finally appears: Wolfwood.

It's a direct representation of this panel of Nicholas' inner monologue from the manga:

——

Nicholas and Vash’s roles as each other’s complements is emphasized very deliberately when the two work to stop the sand steamer from smashing into Hopeland. These screenshots occur one directly after the other:

Another detail the team mentioned often during the interview was attention to use of color. In color theory, blue and orange are complementary colors: hues that are opposite each other on the color wheel but, when used together, come together to create harmony and balance. Additionally, Vash is the character typically associated with warm hues, while Nicholas is paired with colder ones; with the colors flipped, it’s almost as if they are literally mirror images of each other.

The two are in the same position, in the middle of similar actions, both drawing strength from that which makes them “other” in order to work together to protect a common goal. And once again, miraculously, they succeed, able to do together what neither could ever have done together.

This mirror motif is even clearer when comparing these respective scenes from each of their respective backstory episodes:

For Nicholas and Vash, on top of sharing such a crucial common thread in their backstories, often in the show they are seen together, either side by side or back to back. Often they’re shown doing the same thing at the same time, almost as though they’re moving as one. And they consistently save each other over and over again, with Nicholas acting to save Vash physically, and Vash working to protect Nicholas’ psyche. Vash refuses to let anyone continue to see themselves as a monster, as lesser than, in much the same way Nicholas refuses to let anyone else be used as one.

They are a pair, a unit working together to create a force that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

They are both “other”, they are both different, and they both seek to protect the things they love and care about despite the excruciating pain it can put them through.

Nicholas and Vash’s entite dynamic is basically “I don’t understand you, but I recognize you. I recognize myself in you. And somehow, that’s enough for me to trust you.”

————

So with all this in mind, here is how I’ve come to understand Nicholas’ arc throughout tristamp:

When we first meet Nicholas D. Wolfwood we meet a weary man longing for death to save him, longing to be free from the purposelessness of his life but knowing the hope is futile. He works for the Eye of Michael as an assassin against his will and has for God knows how long. Not only is he no longer a priest, but he’s no longer religious at all, having no belief in God at all and a particular disdain for the false promises and hopes of salvation that are portrayed by it. He doesn’t care about the clothes he wears, whether he looks messy, whether it’s suited for the desert, because he literally doesn’t care about anything, really. He has no home, and can never go back to the orphanage— there’s likely no one left there that he knows anyway, and even of there were, they wouldn’t recognize the monster he’s become. Nicholas is tired, he’s angry, he’s potentially depressed. He fights impractically, sometimes leaving himself open to attacks he could probably block with his Punisher, but he just doesn’t care. He’s just here to do his job, which is to escort his piece of shit CEO’s assumedly equally piece of shit brother to him so they can destroy the world together and he can hopefully die off in peace.

Until he actually meets Vash, and he’s… really fucking weird. He’s dumb and naive and acts like he knows Nicholas on some deep level after they’ve just met, but… he’s not a bad guy. Just another crybaby who doesn’t understand the world. He can see the Punisher and not be frightened by it. That means something, means enough that he feels that he can introduce himself now. He still doesn’t know how to handle kindness, so he deflects whenever it’s shown to him, making irreverent jokes and being annoying in order push people away. But then he meets Rollo and has a flashback to himself. He learns that Vash is no stranger to false promises, has sold the same thing to the kid who ended up just like him, and yeah, Vash is no better than the EoM. He talks a big game but doesn’t actually know anything. Nicholas kills Rollo out of mercy because it’s what he wishes could be done to him; every day of living his life is torture.

But then his hometown and childhood best friend are suddenly in danger. He’d completely forgotten what it felt like to have something to lose, to protect. And without planning for it, Vash also becomes something to protect, because even if he doesn’t act like it, Nicholas desperately wants to believe in him. He doesn’t want the EoM to be right. But the feeling of having something to protect is terrifying, because it means you have something to lose. Nicholas gets incredibly stressed out by this, because it’s been so long that he doesn’t even remember what it feels like. But it’s enough to get him, for likely the first time in a very long time, to hope. And it’s Vash who helps him so that he’s able to hang on to that hope for a little while longer.

He still can’t get too excited, because he hasn’t actually finished his job yet. Before he does, though, he sees Vash’s scars (which was a deliberate choice, as in both the manga AND the og anime this scene went to the girls) and wow, if it weren’t for the regenerative properties of the drug, he would likely look the same. He drops Vash off with Knives and knows that Vash will likely be killed, but he’s also expecting to die himself in the fallout, so it doesn’t matter, really. Except for some reason, it does a bit. And then, yet again, Vash miraculously doesn’t die, and in fact changes the game and actually looks like he might stand a chance against Knives, and is clearly willing to die to do it.

And then July is destroyed. But, miraculously, Nicholas isn’t dead. He still finished the contract, but now… now what?

The show began with Nicholas at his lowest, and ends with Vash at his lowest point. And Nicholas owes him one.

————

INCREDIBLY long story short, it really is clear that they weren’t kidding, the team really drew SO MUCH inspiration from the themes trimax it’s unbelievable and I really really think we’re in for something incredible during the second phase. I also think it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.

[mykuup]

Remember me from Middle School ?

Summary : As you start your high school year, you meet one of your classmate : Eddie Munson. You don't understand why your biggest crush since primary school is here with you, as he's older than you. The thing is, for Eddie, you're a total stranger. Will he remember you ?

wc : 1,3k

Warning : mention of drug selling // angst and fluff // use of "y/n" // kisses

A/n : It's been a while since I haven't posted something here. the thing is that I want to write but nothing comes out of my brain that is fried bc of the heat where I'm living. Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this one ! Also, this is lightly proofread and english isn't my native language (if u read my previous posts u already know ahaha) so all the mistakes are my own. Feel free to let a comment if u liked the story ;) Love ya

Originaly posted on Ao3

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You thought your first day of your last year would feel like a relief. You woke up early this morning with a wide smile on your face. Putting on your favorite outfit, you were ready to go to Hawkins High for the last year. Finally you were close to your biggest dream : leaving Hawkins. You needed to get out of there, you wanted to live something else in a big city. You broke up this summer with your ex so you would not have any link with anyone else than your best friend, Veronica. 

But.

As your first French lesson starts, the door swings open and your heart misses a beat.

“S’rry I’m late.”

You and all the students turned their head to the voice. Dark hair floating around his face, a denim jacket over a black leather perfecto opened on a Hellfire club t-shirt. As you look at his dark brown eyes, you couldn’t be wrong.

Eddie Munson was walking his way to your classroom.

Everyone followed his walk with their eyes until he sat at a desk at the back of the room.

As the lesson begins, you couldn’t stop thinking about the man who sits a few desks behind you.

How could this be possible ?

You tried to glare a few times in his direction to picture him better. Last time you saw him was in middle school. His style and look were a complete turnover as he looks so adult and teen at the same time.

Darker also.

You remember a weird but sweet kid, always smiling and making the other laugh. Here, he looked mysterious and… angry ? Maybe it was just a stressful day for him as you see him biting his nails and his leg trembling. Looking back at his hands, you could notice the several obvious silver rings. He just looked like the former of a rock band or something. Maybe the hellfire t-shirt was a clue ?

You could hear the teacher asking every student to quickly introduce themselves and your turn came quicker than you expected. With a bit of apprehension, you also rise and try to speak as clearly as you could. But all you were thinking about at this moment was the reaction of the dark haired man behind.

Does he remember your name ?

You changed too so you wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t recognize you at first sight. As you sat back, you immediately turned to see Eddie’s reaction but you saw nothing. 

No-thing.

He was still biting his nails but was now writing something on his notebook. He doesn’t even take a look around him. You were a bit shocked as you were kinda friends at the school music club…

You spent the rest of the hour trying to not think about him. As the bell rings for the end of the class, you see him rushing outside without looking back.

You needed a talk with your best friend. You find her at the end of the day.

“Veronica !” you blurted out, and your friend saw that you looked panicked.

“Looks like you saw a ghost or something.” she says calmly.

“You’re right ! Do you remember Eddie ?”

“Hum…” Veronica faints to think hard. “Yeah maybe…”

“Don’t laugh Veronica !” you were angry at this time. Your friend saw your face and tried to calm you down.

“Of course I remember ! How could I forget !”

“He’s in my French class.” you don’t even manage Veronica and the news felt like a bomb, even for her.

“How?” she remembers he’s two years older than you both.

“I don’t know !”

“Are you sure it’s him ??”

“Well, yeah, I’m pretty sure. Even if he looks like a real man now.”

“I want to know everything from the first second you saw him!”

And here you are, for the first day of your last year, telling to your best friend the story of you seeing Eddie Munson for the first time since something that felt like decades.

Senior year started a few months ago and you are still obsessed with Eddie Munson. 

Veronica and you were hanging out a lot at the arcades or the mall to have some fresh air. This senior year wasn’t going to be easy for sure and you both were talking about a few uni you dreamed of going to after your graduation. You already know that your path will part away after this year but you promise to each other to stay in touch and to see each other at least once a month.

“So, how’s French class going?” Veronica asks with a grin.

“Not that bad, Mrs.Flora is very kind !”

“I wasn’t talking about your teacher y’know…”

You sigh.

“I told you there’s nothing more to add. I already said everything you needed to know.”

“I know, I know !” she replies, hand rising like redemption. “I just found it weird he didn’t say anything to you after class. I mean, he heard your name right ?!”

“I’m not even sure he was listening during the whole hour. And he ran outside at the second the bell rang. He was late somewhere else for sure… as always.”

“How so ?” inquire your friend as she raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t really know how to explain it but he’s always late for French class. And everytime it ends, he runs to God knows where. And he always looks stressed or something.”

“You should simply ask why.”

“I’m sorry what ?!”

“Every problem or question has its own solution or answer. It’s… Basic science.”

“It’s not science Veronica, it’s being human ! And no, I will not ask him what he’s doing. I’m not his mom.”

“Hum… you really don’t want to solve this mystery ?”

“Don’t start Veronica!”

You both laugh. Truth is you both love investigation stories or movies. And when you were younger, your parents could watch you playing cops or secret agents to solve some imaginary scenarios.

“We’re not kids anymore.” you add, a bit of sadness in your laugh.

“I know, but hey, I know you ! You’ve always had a thing for this guy. You know that I’m a pragmatic girl but -and I hate to say that- it’s obvious that the universe is sending you another chance.”

“I thought you were a pragmatic girl…” you tease.

You laugh again. But your friend didn’t know the whole story. You’ve never found courage to talk about this. To talk about how you’ve been rejected by Eddie during middle school. You remember what you wrote on that note that day. You remember that you gave this piece of paper to someone so he could give it to Eddie. 

But maybe your friend was right. Maybe you could try to make something work out with Eddie ? You’re not sure why this guy was so much present in your brain. But anyway, you feel something for him, as you always did since you first met him.

You spend the next week trying to find out Eddie’s schedule.

During meal break, you heard about how dangerous the Hellfire Club was because of the freaks that were in it. You also find out that this wasn’t a music band but a Dungeons & Dragons thing. Whatever it was, you couldn’t see Eddie or his friends as freaks. Sure he was different since you knew him. But you were pretty sure he wasn’t all the things you heard about him.

Especially a drug dealer.

You only hear a few parts of a chat between three -not really reliable- students. You recognize one of them being in the same history class as you. And without thinking another second, you choose to follow him after class to see where he was going.

On your way to follow your classmate outside the school, you see a piece of paper hanging on a wall. Looking at it, you see a picture of a few students, all wearing the Hellfire Club Tshirt.

Between them, a bit on the left, you spot Eddie.

Every guy in the picture was smiling, obviously happy to be there at this time. Eddie was smiling too and you feel your heart missing a beat again. You felt weird. Something between angst and happiness. A bittersweet feeling that left a weird taste in your mouth. Thinking about the thing you never said to your friend Veronica made you remember this moment in primary school your wish to forget.

You shake your head.

“No time for this.” you say to yourself.

You have to find out the truth. You look at your classmate in the crowded corridor. When you find him a few feet in front of you, you keep following him.

Few minutes later, you find yourself walking in the closest forest to school. You could hear the footsteps from afar as you kept yourself low to not be seen. You stop to hide behind a tree. From your point of view, you could see Eddie, sitting at a picnic table. He had a black metal box opened in front of him. The student you were following took something out of his pocket before giving it to Eddie. You see him give something back before the other student leaves without saying anything. You couldn’t believe that the rumors were true. Eddie was really a drug dealer. You felt disappointed. How this sweet child turned into someone completely different ?

“I see you.”

You froze as you heard the voice. Your heart misses a beat when you hear him again.

“Hey, hello ?”

Your breath was heavy and you didn’t know if you had to run or…

No, the truth is, you didn’t want to run. You were curious. You wanted to see if he would recognize you this time. You walk out of behind the tree you were hiding to join him at the picnic table. You didn’t sit even if you saw your classmate gently inviting you to. You toggle on your feet, clearing your throat, not knowing what to say.

“Are you okay ?” he asks, a bit concerned.

You look straight at him. You dive in his eyes so easily you couldn’t believe it. You remember the last time you saw him and this weird feeling came back. You swallow hard before shaking your head.

“Sorry it was a mistake.” you say dryly before turning away.

“Hey !” he calls you, gently grabbing your arm so you don’t run away.

You turn to face him and you see his wide smile enlighten his face. He let go of your arm and raised his hands in surrender, taking a step back.

“Nothing to be afraid of.” he adds.

You offer him half of a smile before sitting on the bench. He sits too, facing you before opening his metal box again. Then he put his hand on his mouth, looking at you. He was waiting for you to speak. But as you start to open your mouth, you understand that he wanted to sell you stuff. Eddie sees your sudden change of mood and tries to calm you down.

“Hey hey hey ! I’m sorry ! Hey y/n , I'm sorry !”

You froze as you heard him calling your name.

“What did you say ?” you ask, uneasily.

“You’re y/n right ? From French class ?” he hesitates.

This was too much.

You decided to walk away without looking back at him. You could hear him trying to catch you again but you didn’t let him have the chance to. After that, you walk back home furious and a bit sad too. You had to bury the feelings you had for him or you would chase him desperately.

But the thing you didn’t know was that your best friend got your back. As she always did.

“Can I come to yours after class?” Veronica asks you, as you were entering your science class.

“Yeah sure ! We walk together ?”

“No, I have an extra hour. I will join you after.”

You could see your friend hiding a smirk but you couldn’t guess why. Anyway, you had a lot in your head today as you had a chemistry test this afternoon.

You were exhausted because of your day. You were close to the middle of the year already and all your teachers gave you tests every week or so.

Finally home, you try to relax a bit before greeting your friend. You prepare her favorite tea and take some ice cream out of your freezer. After a few minutes, you hear your bell rings. Usually your friend would come in like it was her home. But maybe you lock the door behind you this time.

It wasn’t locked.

As it wasn’t Veronica behind your door, it swings open on a dark haired boy, wearing a Hellfire Club t-shirt.

“Hi !” he waves at you with a shy smile.

You look at him in awe, your mind boiling with any insult you knew, thinking of Veronica. For sure you will kill her for that.

“Don’t blame Veronica please !! It was my idea to come here...”

Could he read your mind ?? He could see you were lost at his words.

“I hum… I wanted to talk to you. Last time I tried you… just ran away…” he explained quietly.

You sigh.

At his surprise, you take a step back to let him in, then close the door behind. Without a word you walk to your kitchen to take the cup of tea, bringing another one for him. You walk back to the living room to sit on your sofa, legs crossed. You invited him to sit in front of you. He nodded, quiet as you were, and took a sip of the hot tea you just prepared.

This was a weird moment. You both didn’t want to break the silence around you. So you were both drinking tea without saying anything. You notice he glances at you a few times. Clearing his throat you could see he wasn’t comfortable with the situation. So you decided to talk first.

“What d’you want ?” you ask, maybe a bit too rudely.

He put his cup of tea on the coffee table before looking at you. You could see he was a bit embarrassed but he found some courage.

“I think we started the wrong way. I guess it’s my fault.” he adds. “I can see in your eyes that I did something wrong. But I need your help to tell me so I can understand why you seem to… hate me.” he laughed nervously.

“Wait.” you say, pinching at the bridge of your nose. You were lost at this time. “Eddie do you… Do you just remember something ? Like anything about you and me ?”

“What the fuck ?! y/n, you're my biggest heartbreak ! Of course I remember! How could I forget…” he added with a sad laugh. 

You froze at his words. How could it be possible ? It was him who broke your heart back then. How could he blame you? He continues.

“I remember one day at school. You stopped talking to me. You were even avoiding me ! I never knew why.”

“What ?” you say with a quaver in your voice.

Eddie sees your face and he was as lost as you were right now.

“YOU were the one rejecting me Eddie ! I did nothing ! You do !” 

You were now letting all your feelings out. They were like a tornado at this point and you couldn’t stop yourself.

“You’re the one who broke my heart ! I tried… I really tried to forget you. But when I saw you in this classroom I… I couldn’t believe it.” you sigh, looking down at your feet. “It felt like you were a ghost, haunting me.” you almost whispered.

Eddie was completely lost. His throat felt like a big knot where his voice couldn’t come out from. He stares at you and slowly walks closer, kneeling in front of you. Still looking at your feet, his hand came into your sight as he gently put it on your thigh. You look up in the sudden to meet his eyes. You could see he was truly sorry about how you’re feeling right now. He cleared his throat.

“y/n… What happened between you and me ?” his voice was soft as he was only trying to understand.

“I wrote you a note.” you could feel your tears coming. “I… it was a piece of paper from my notebook. I gave it to one of your friends because I was so scared to give it to you.” You shut your eyes to stop the tears and shake your head. “It said : Would you go out with me ? A : Yes     B : No. And then the paper came back to me, it was ripped and everything was crossed out except the “no”. I was so afraid to ask you to hang out with me. And I was right…”

You couldn’t keep your tears anymore and you felt ridiculous to cry for that in front of him. You suddenly rise from the sofa to run to your room. You couldn’t stay in the same room as him. 

“Wait !” you hear him as you are climbing the stairs.

You wanted to shut your bedroom door behind you but something came in the way. Eddie was here, holding the door.

“Leave me please.” you ask as you dry your tears away.

“Hey y/n !” Eddie came closer to you. “Hey, look at me. Please, look at me.” he gently put his hands on your face so he could see you better.

You blink a few times to clear your vision.

“Hey…” he whispers, wiping your tears with his thumb. “I’m sorry. For everything.” he was even closer to you by now, one of his hands behind your neck. “But y/n, I’ve never had this note from you. And believe me, I would say yes without a doubt.”

His words felt like a bomb. Your eyes widen as you part your mouth.It feels like a knockout. You sat on your bed, still stunned about what you just heard.

“I’m so stupid.” you whispered, almost for yourself.

“No you’re not.” he adds, kneeling again in front of you. He didn’t let you go, his hands still on you. “But again, I’m sorry. I should have asked you out myself back then but… I’ve never had the balls to do it.”

His choice of words makes you laugh a little and you could see his face enlighten with a smile.

“I love this sound of yours.” he admits.

You smile back at him.

“So what about now ?” you add with a bit of hesitation in your voice.

“Well.” he whispers. “I could try to be brave and find the right words but… I’m not very good with words.”

You were about to say something when Eddie closed the gap between you and him. His hands gently caressing your cheeks, you could feel him smile against your lips. You only needed a few seconds to relax and let him kiss you harder. You wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you.

As you thought he would directly throw you on the bed, you can feel one of his arms under your butt as his other hand finds its way to your breast. Delicately, he starts kneading your left boob through your t-shirt, making you gasp at first.

You kiss him more deeply and he lets your tongue play with his. You loved to french kiss. There was something so passionate about that kind of kiss. And you quickly understand he loved that too as you hear him groan a little under your touch. And it makes you shiver instantly.

“Are you okay ?” he enquires between two kisses.

“Yeah.” you sigh as you kiss him again and again.

He smiles and places a hand behind your head before bending over to lay you onto the bed gently. He crawls up to you and places himself between your parted legs. He raises himself on his elbows so he could admire you under him.

You caress his cheek gently, smiling at him. Your eyes flutter as you feel his powerful hands on you. Eddie lost his mind at your touch and that was all he could manage to say.

“Sweetheart you’re beautiful.” 

You giggle. He was so cute with his blushing cheeks and his wide smile. You locked your eyes with his and Eddie blew you a kiss in a silly way before kissing you for real.

Finally, you will have to thank Veronica for making this up.

[thealogie]

I'm sorry but I'm about to treat your ask box like a confessional.

You kind of deserve it, though, because due to your Sherlock rewatch posts I've been forced to remember that 1. Sherlock is a show that exists and 2. that I wrote Sherlock fanfic when I was 13... about SHERLOCK and MOLLY.

In my defence, I was a deeply deeply deeply repressed bisexual who hadn't realized it yet - so all of the obvious and insane gay stuff between Sherlock and John just completely sailed over my head. Also propaganda worked really well on me as a child - so basically I was the ideal viewer for Moftiss lol. There'd be scenes where people mistook Sherlock and John for a couple and I'd go 'huh that's kind of strange that keeps happening' but then it would be played off as a joke and I'd go 'oh yes of course, silly me! Gay people only exist as the punchline! Sherlock and John would NEVER be interested in each other that way. I can't believe anyone would ever think that haha.'

Flash forward to 2017. I'm 17 years old. I've kissed other women by now and have had my brain chemistry rewritten by copious amounts of slash fanfiction. Still young, but wiser to the ways of the world than I once was. The last time I watched Sherlock, I had been 14 years old. Sherlock season 4 airs. I watch it with my mom. It's so bad my brain immediately initiates a trauma response and wipes all memory of Sherlock away. This continues for years. The only times I remember Sherlock exists is whenever I joyfully watch hbomerguy's Sherlock Is Garbage video while I'm knitting or painting or something. Also whenever I have to type in a password for an account I made when I was 13 - because my go-to password was 'SHERLOCKED' back then, unfortunately.

Flash forward to now. I'm 24 years old. And I start seeing your posts about Sherlock. Like a sleeper agent, it awakens something in me. Yesterday, I spent a perfectly good Saturday - one I could have spent doing literally anything else - reading Johnlock fanfiction. I am suddenly re experiencing the show through new eyes, seeing all the queerbait I never did before. Getting hate-crimed on the daily. I'm thinking about Sherlock at work, at my adult fucking job. I'm watching scenes from the show on youtube in my office, quickly and guiltily clicking away whenever a coworker comes to chat. I am considering doing my own rewatch. I am realizing for the first time that John and Sherlock were literally in love. It's the only lens through which you can view the show and still have it be somewhat enjoyable. They literally put Mary in a wedding dress shooting Sherlock in his mind palace on TV. I feel like I'm having a religious experience, I feel like I'm insane, I feel like I'm 13 again. This is all vaguely November 5th-ish for me lol.

Anyway. I just thought you should know the impact your rewatch is having on the population. Sorry for the novel in your inbox. I've been desperately trying to find my old Sherlock x Molly fanfic to read for the lols but I think I deleted it off ffnet. I am both having the time of my life while also desperately hoping I forget Sherlock ever existed again soon. So, basically - thank you/curse you for this.

This is perhaps the best ask I’ve ever received?? I converted a sherlolly shipper in the year 2023? Listen I’d never wish a season 4 rewatch on anyone but I would highly recommend watching s1-2 and the wedding episode for a truly out of body experience. I felt more strongly about this show/ship than any other in my life and it was STILL worse than I remembered