#I took my nanny baby to story time and his coat is like this and I lost my minddd (Norman’s look is based on his blue coat lol)

[emmaspolaroid]

something something to keep their little heads from falling in the snow

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Yellow Lines

This was requested by @onechicagomayan who asked for this:

<He how are you? I hope so. I wanted to ask you if you could make a request with miguel? And if so, in which reader is a federal and falls in love with miguel, when he catches him she is forced to use the yellow raincoat but then she tells him that she is pregnant. In this story miguel is with emily, and if you could put some dialogue in spanish.

Thanks and sorry and if I made a bad explanation you can write to me.

I love your writing, a kiss.>

Hope you like this and its what you were looking for.

Warnings: Talks of cheating (I don’t agree with cheating, this is just for fic purposes). yellow rain coat and hot oil angst, does get a little intense and of course a mostly happy ending. I used goggle for the pinch of Spanish I used, so sorry if it's wrong.

WC: 1867

Enjoy x

Your palms were sweaty and the heat of dread raged through you fast, your heart beating out of your chest. It was only a matter a time before you were put into a situation that you could lose your badge, and here you were. The files on the Galindo’s built higher and higher and eventually it was time for you and Jane to be put in undercover when the opportunity arose. You had read every file back-to-back more than once; you were briefed on certain things and you had to check in once a week.

An ad appeared wanting a new personal assistant for the cartel boss and a nanny for his son. Everything had been set up, you applying for assistant, which you got and Jane for the Nanny which she got. Moving onto the grounds the following week to get as much intel as you could to finally get Miguel arrested and bring down his empire.

It was in the first week that you had realised that the Miguel you had read about and had been briefed about was not the Miguel you had started working for. He was just a business man in a dark world that sometimes did horrible things, but mostly he was a gentleman, easy to talk to and the stories he told you about his life before and after he started on this road intrigued you. Slowly over time, he started to open up about his marriage and how much they were struggling, he worried about business all the time and Emily getting involved with and in things he didn’t want her too and mostly how the lies had started to rip them apart.

It only took one over night in Mexico for the relationship to cross that line and although you both said the next morning it couldn’t happen again after waking up in each other’s arms, it did two to three times a week and now you were waiting for the timer to go off as you sat on the toilet of your bathroom, feeling like you were going  to be sick if that white stick showed what you thought it was going too. Your boss was already on your back about more intel, Jane having more than you and she just looked after the baby. But you were in love with Miguel, yes you were doing the wrong thing every time he laid on top of you, but now there was no turning back.

You reached for the stick on the counter, picking it up. You took a deep breath and turned it over, the word ‘pregnant 4-6weeks ’ in thick black letters on the tiny screen. Your stomach dropped and the tears fell, that was your career gone for 10 minutes of pleasure. You had to pull yourself together, you had a meeting with Miguel and one of the Galindo’s major buyers in 30 minutes. As you went to open your room door you were met with Nestor and Paco, both their faces cold,

“Y/N, you need to come with us”

“Is everything-“

“Let’s go, you know he doesn’t like to be kept waiting”

You were even more confused when you saw Maria walk out into the backyard with Christobel instead of Jane. Nestor opened the car door for you and Paco got in the driver’s seat, he driving you towards the dress factory. Your heart started to pound in your chest and your stomach flip flopped as Nestor lead you towards the back room, Paco behind you. You had read all about this very room, but up until now, never been in it.

Nestor opened the door and you stepped in, fear filling you when Miguel whipped his head towards you, a look on his face that you had never seen before, Jane tied to his church pure and a portable stove with a pot on it next to him. You jumped when you heard the door slam shut and you saw the look wash over Nestor’s face when he grabbed your arm and pulled you towards Miguel,

“How long did you think it would take for me to find out?” Miguel raised his eye brow at Jane and then turned to you “Ven Y/N, ahora”

Nestor pulled you to Miguel and your body filled with fear when his hand went to your cheek, his eyes were filled with rage and you heard Jane’s sobs. Nestor walking to the set up turning on the stove and started to stir the pot,

“Miguel” you chocked “What’s going on?”

“Please, don’t treat to me like a fool. They put you in my house and you worm your way into my bed” his lips came to your ear and his hand left your cheek and went to your arm “You think because I had my cock in your mouth and I told you my feelings I would spare you when I found out” Miguel stepped away from you, walking to the pew grabbing the yellow rain coat that was hanging off the end of it and handing it to you “Put this on mi amor, show me how much you love me now” he barked.

Your hands started to shake and tears ran from your eyes,

“Miguel, please” you begged.

“Now” he yelled, his voice echoing in the room. You quickly put it on and Miguel grabbed your arm pulling you towards the pot making you look at it and you saw the boiling oil “You’re going to pour that to her and then Nestor will take care of you”

“Miguel” you sobbed.

“What did you think was going to happen? I’ am Miguel Galindo. Do you think the FBI is smarter than me? They should have trained their agents better, to not leave flies laying around where they can be seen”

“I’ am pregnant” you cried out.

“Liar” Miguel snarl.

“Por favor Miguel, I’ am not”

Miguel looked down at you and then nodded at Nestor who left the room. Miguel told you the follow him after he ripped the yellow rain coat off you throwing it on the floor and whispered something to Paco on the way past. Miguel guided you to a small office in the back of the factory and locked the door, walking to the small fridge grabbing a bottle of water,

“Why?” Miguel had his back to you “I let you in. I trusted you”

“Miguel, you can still trust me. I read the files. On paper you’re a horrible man but when I got to know you. You know how I feel”

“Just words” You muttered back.

“No Miguel. I meant everything I said” you walked up to him putting your hands on his back.

“I need to know what you told them”

“Nothing” you kissed his shoulder.

“Stop. Tell me now. What did you tell them?” Miguel roared at you turning around to face you.

“Nothing” you screamed back at him.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket, sitting the bottle of water on the table and opened your messages to ‘Mum’ who was your boss and you handed him your phone. You watched Miguel’s eye brows frown as he read message after message from your boss telling you to get information or you would be pulled from the case, and either you didn’t answer or just wrote back ‘Need more time’

“You told them nothing?”

“No. Have your people check it out”

“It’s mine?” Miguel nodded towards your tummy.

“Si”

“I want you to do a test”

“Anything you need me to do to prove it to you, Miguel”

12 months later

It has been a massive whirl wind and roller coaster from that day in the warehouse. You held Camila in your arms as you looked out over the ocean from your unit in Cuba as you thought about everything that happened. Miguel was there for the birth; a paternity test was taken as soon as she was born, Miguel wanting to make sure that she was indeed his. The rent was paid for and there was money in your account every month for food and anything the baby needed. Miguel had snuck you and Jane out of the US through the tunnels to Mexico, making you both disappear. You sent to Cuba and Jane sent to Puerto Rico, with new names and a new life. Jane told never to step foot back in the US.

You hadn’t heard from Miguel in almost a month, you weren’t sure if he was going to tell Emily, but you were grateful for being far away from everything. You had seen the US news how the FED’s finally raided the Galindo house and you crossed everything that there would be no paper trail to you for you to get caught out and be brought back to the US.

You had just put Camila down after she fell asleep in your arms, when there was knocks on the door. You went and looked through the peep hole and gasped in surprise, swinging the door open to Miguel, his face scruffy and he looking tired,

“What are you doing here?” you moved out of the way and he walked in “Can you be traced here? I saw the news” you closed and locked the door.

Miguel didn’t answer at first walking in dropping his bags and throwing himself on the couch,

“No. For now. There isn’t a trail to you. I have new documents coming here tomorrow and we move into the new apartment next week”

“We?” you raised an eye brow at him.

A cry broke through the apartment and Miguel jumped up rushing towards the cry. You gave him a minute and then walked to door, leaning on it, your heart melting watching him cradle Camila in his arms,

“lo siento, mi princesa. I stayed away to long, Papa is here now” he kissed her forehead, Miguel looked up at you, a tear running down his cheek “She has your nose”

“She has her Papa’s long fingers” you smiled back.

“What we did, what I did to my wife, my son, was wrong” he muttered “But, I loved you”

“We did do wrong Miguel” you walked into the room “I still love you”

“You won’t when you find out everything. What was in those files was nothing”

Miguel kissed Camila’s cheek, putting her back in her bassinet and sitting on your bed, his hands going over his face and you sat down next to him putting your arm around him. He told you everything he did and then looked up at you with a tear-stained face,

“A lot’s happened” you whispered.

“I’ve made too many bad decisions. They are catching up with me”

“That’s life Miguel”

“How can you not look at me differently”

“Because I saw that other man that you are. Just Miguel, not Cartel Miguel. He is a good man; he is the father of my daughter”

“Can we do this? Trust each other after everything?” Miguel looked over at you.

Your hand went to his thigh and his went on top of yours,

“It’s not going to be easy, but I want to try”

 Tags: @beccabarba @alwaysachorusgirl @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @jemmakates @ben-c-group-therapy

[bastillewolf]

Corpse's Bride (I)

Pairing: Corpse Husband / Reader

Summary: When you end up in an unfortunate arranged marriage to salvage what is left of your parents’ wealth, it seems fate has other ideas in store for you; or perhaps it was the Devil who decided to bring back the dead?

Notes: Yea, I don’t know why I wrote this either, and no idea where this series is gonna go. If you have any suggestions, please send them. But I wanted to write something for Christmas since I haven’t posted in a while. I hope you all have safe and happy holidays! Let’s just get 2020 over with, please.

Tag list currently closed.

Chapter I - The wedding

Somewhere through the clouds of smoke erupting from the city, just beyond the hills, lies a small town called Gloomington. Where the streets are always swept and yet seem never clean, where birds fly high through the sky yet never manage to reach the clouds, and where dreams are crushed underneath the wheels of creaking carriages and half-empty fish barrels. It might seem like the most boring old town, with its inhabitants that look like they’re either on the brink of death or very much willing to be, but it wasn’t to you. No, to you life appeared much more interesting, though not by your own volition. You did not turn a blind eye to the grey streets or creaking bones or listening ears, as they had always been the same to you, but the troubles you had yet to bear were much too big to focus on anything else.

Your parents had deemed that on your twenty-first birthday, you were finally fit for marriage. It was the age that they had gotten married, and by tradition, through their parents as well. Why they had decided to force this upon you as well, you did not know, for as long as you could remember you’d only ever thought of your parents to be miserable together. Their time with you was now something of the past, however, because if all went well today, you would be married within just a day or two.

It was already raining, which would’ve made the situation so much gloomier to you if you hadn’t been revelling in the fact that it meant you could take the carriage instead of walk. You didn’t mind getting your shoes or the hem of your dress dirty, but other people did. And the people you would be seeing today would not approve of anything that wasn’t perfect upon arrival.

You only remembered the Everglots vaguely from your childhood during the instance when you’d been playing in a similar storm and one of their maids had shooed you away, saying you were being too loud and an unfit view for their folk. Their house was a different story, however. It stood tall above all other houses, even yours, so it was hard to miss. You weren’t rich, even though your parents liked to pretend they were. Your father owned the biggest and only fishing company in town; the main source of income from Gloomington. The thing was though, the seas were being overfished, and all he was getting from the ocean now were ones the sizes of goldfish.

You presumed this is why your parents decided to marry you off to the Everglots’ son, Thomas. According to your nanny, they were a bunch of washed-up aristocrats. Otherwise, you’d never even caught a glimpse of them, let alone of their offspring. Which is probably why you were so nervous. If he was anything like his parents personality-wise, you hoped he at least made up for it on the outside.

“Stop fidgeting,” your mother said, snapping you from your daze. You looked down to your hands, which had been crumpling a bunch of the fabric of your dress together, probably creating creases. You wonder if you had subconsciously done it, simply out of spite, because the nerves had numbed any other senses. You smoothed it out, crossed your legs and folded your hands across your lap, to which your mother gave a pleased nod.

A glance towards your father told you not much else, he was too busy going through last-minute calculations in his notebook. This must seem like ordinary business to him.

Your heart jumped a little as you watched the horse pulling your carriage nearly slip in the mud. He’d been in your family for fifteen years now, it was a wonder he was still standing. Perhaps the whip was reason enough for such a solemn animal, confined to his leather straps and iron mouthpiece. You tugged on the silver chain your mother had draped across your neck. Some of the diamonds had been taken out, but you could only see it if you looked very closely.

The carriage wavered and eventually managed to stop with another crack of the whip. It went almost simultaneously with the clash of thunder.

Hopping out, you looked down to see your polished shoes had landed directly in the biggest puddle on the square.

“Oh, miss, you should’ve let me put my coat down for you,” the old coachman called out, rising from his seat.

Your mother’s unnerving gaze followed yours down to the puddle around your feet. “Yes, you should have. I told you to watch your step with those shoes. Henry, clean them up.”

The coachman then proceeded to lay down his coat in the puddle anyways, and even after your protests continued to polish your shoes with his previously clean white handkerchief. You thanked him when he was finished, to which he tipped his hat.

“Hurry up. We’re already late,” your mother said. You wanted to rip the whip from his hands and hit her with it, but your composure and good sense got the better of you.

The massive doorknocker hit the hardwood three times because of your father’s shaky hand, which seemed to collapse back down to his side immediately after.

To your surprise, no maid opened, but the lady of the house herself did. Missus Everglot looked down upon you with a smile that looked more like a sneer. Her hair was greying, almost to the point where it was white, a colour matching the black dress she wore. Weren’t you supposed to wear colour for a special occasion such as this? You’d been so bold to wear something green; your best dress, to be perfectly honest. Were you supposed to wear black?

“It is good to see you again,” she hummed, and your parents made noises of agreement.

“Our apologies for bringing the bad weather. But that usually means good luck!” Your father said. You all laughed, though mostly out of politeness.

She invited you in, and you were finally able to see the grandeur of the Everglots household. Or well, what was left of it. The unlit fireplaces on either side of the entrance hall made you wonder if they no longer had maids working for them or if they simply enjoyed the cold. There was only one butler you saw so far, the one who took your coats from you and then scurried off. A big staircase stood in front of you, leading two opposite directions upstairs.

“Ah! You must be the daughter we’ve been hearing so much about!” Mister Everglot suddenly appeared, his arms spread wide with the same smile as his wife spread across his pale cheeks. He also wore black, though he bore quite a bit more weight than his wife, almost to the point where the top button of his shirt looked like it wanted to bail ship.

“It’s a true pleasure meeting you, mister Everglot,” you replied quietly, holding out your hand for him to shake. He barely did, before brushing you off to gloat about things to your parents. “You know, we’ve picked out the finest gold for the rings. The blacksmith in town just did a marvellous job on them-“

The ring on your hand felt heavy. It was your grandmothers’, passed down from your mother and onto you. Now you had to bear the burden of a loveless marriage.

Your silent sigh was interrupted by a quiet clearing of someone’s throat.

You looked up to meet the eyes of a dark-haired boy, who was scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. He asked you if he got your name right. You nodded politely.

“Hi, I’m- I’m Thomas. It’s very nice to meet you, miss.”

You huffed in amusement at his stuttering. “I don’t think you have to call me ‘miss’, Thomas. We’ll be married soon.”

He smiled shyly. “I would keep calling you ‘miss’ if you preferred it. Marriage wouldn’t change that for me.”

You stood there, slightly aghast. This boy was nothing like his parents. You wondered who had raised him because as you had been fortunate enough with your nanny, you couldn’t imagine his having been any different.

“Better watch it there, Thomas.” Another man strutted down the stairs behind him. He looked just about as pretentious as mister and missus Everglot. “Don’t want to scare the little lady off there.”

Sykkuno only chuckled, but you could sense that his friend didn’t have the best intentions. He introduced himself after you, “The name’s Barkis. I’m a… good family friend of the Everglots, I suppose.” He kissed your hand, which made you shiver uncomfortably. You tried your best to hide it, instead turning your eyes to meet Thomas’ again. They seemed much brighter in this gloomy place.

At least, that’s what you kept reminding yourself of as you looked at yourself in the mirror, trying to refrain from fainting as your mother kept pulling on the strings of your corset until you were quite certain a few ribs had been broken off in the process.

“Now,” she reminded you, “This will be good for the family. I know you’re an unconventional spitfire, - I don’t know who you got that from – but you shall learn to listen to your husband. It will save your father’s business and his honour, not to mention your dignity.”

You couldn’t breathe, you needed air. Your mother saw the look in your eyes.

“And as a final warning, young lady, if you dare to try to run, you better remind yourself that this family will never take you in again. Not when you come crawling back with not a penny to carry, not with a baby you got from another man. You will be as good as dead to us, if you wouldn’t have already died in some gutter.”

You nodded, “I understand, mother. I just need some air.”

She gave you one last glance, before nodding. She locked the door after she left.

It allowed you to burst through the doors to the Everglots balcony, where outside the rain had thankfully settled a bit to a slight drizzle. But you didn’t care if your dress got wet. You had to untie the knot at your back.

Quickly.

But you couldn’t reach.

You leaned across the railing.

If you could reach a little further-

But your hand slipped, and you felt your feet being thrown the wrong way as you plummeted down the second floor.

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[petersasteria]

The Life of A Mobster's Wife || Arvin Russell

Russell || Main || Taglist

Mob!Arvin x Reader (Modern AU) Requested? Nah 9,818 words (pls send feedback bc this is the longest mob fic i've done and i want to know if it's alright or if i should just leave the mob au alone sksk) W: asshole!arvin, doesn't follow canon, curse words, killing, cheating, so many fucked up shit

* * * *

Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen. You didn’t know that your life would take such a dark turn the moment you met Arvin. The second he smiled at you, you were a goner. You were hooked on him; addicted. Everything should’ve been a red flag and the people around you told you that something about him seemed off. That should have alarmed you, but you took what they said personally. One by one, they all left you and only Arvin was left by your side. That should have been a sign too.

You told yourself that you’d be happy and you were. You were together for six months and then you got married. Now, six years later, you have a son who just turned six and a husband who doesn’t even sleep in the same bed as you anymore. You didn’t know what went wrong, but everything suddenly changed.

Arvin made sure you and your son were away from him, so he bought a big apartment in the Upper East Side for both of you. Arvin would stay there sometimes, but most of the time, he was working; killing, kidnapping people for ransom, selling weapons, selling drugs, etc. He wanted you away from those especially, Hayden; your son.

You wanted for things to change because Hayden hardly ever sees Arvin and they don’t have a connection. You also wanted another baby and you felt like Arvin was too busy for that. Wanting to focus on your husband, you decided it was best to hire a nanny to attend to your son’s needs. However, it was difficult to look for a nanny when you’re keeping everything a secret. You were lucky enough to hire a personal doctor.

Amelia Avery Hudson is a trauma surgeon, but you hired her as your personal doctor to treat your husband and his men if they have wounds. The other doctors you asked turned down your offer. When you asked Amelia, she immediately agreed. Amelia didn’t really have a choice. She applied because she needed to pay her student loans back. Plus, she needed to keep a roof over her head and rent was expensive in New York. She’s a fresh graduate and she had trouble finding a job that fitted her career path. Your offer was perfect and she saw it just in time. She hoped that no one took the job yet and luck was on her side because she’s been your personal doctor ever since.

Amelia’s only there during the evening from 7PM until 12 midnight. Having signed an NDA, she had no one to tell about the things she’s seen. She knew that if she even tried, Arvin would somehow find out and kill her with no mercy. She didn’t want to risk it.

Amelia’s feisty, but she was nice. The poor girl had a terrible life. She kept moving from one foster home to another when she was younger. Because of that, she grew up strong. She’s a remarkable woman and you were glad that you met her. You weren’t close, but you had a good relationship with her. Sometimes, she’d entertain Hayden which meant a lot to you.

You put up a poster for the nanny position and a few applicants were interested. You looked through their resumes and interviewed them one by one. Out of everyone, only one person stood out. Her name was Celeste.

“Tell me more about yourself, Celeste.” You smiled at her. You didn’t feel comfortable interviewing people in your apartment, so you always made sure the interviewees met you in your favorite restaurant in the upper east side.

“I-I’m Celeste Regina Dela Cruz. Eighteen years old. Um-”

“I know those things.” You laughed. “It’s on your resume. Just loosen up and tell me about yourself. Would it make you more comfortable if I went first?”

Celeste nodded, clearly intimidated. You smiled and said, “I’m Y/N Russell and I never finished college because I got married. I dropped out and left everything behind to be with my husband. I was also pregnant when we got married, so we never really had a decent alone time. I volunteer a lot for my son’s school and I make sure that my son has everything. Right now, he’s on a waiting list for multiple colleges.”

“Wait, how old is he?”

“He’s 6 years old.” You said before taking a sip of water. “It’s nice to be prepared, though. At least we know that he has a slot when the time comes.”

Celeste nodded and you motioned for her to start talking about herself. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth to talk, but the waiter arrived with your food. You both thanked the waiter and began eating.

“Please continue, Celeste.” You said as you took a bite of your food.

“I’m Celeste and I’m from the Philippines.” She said. “No wonder your accent is thick.” You pointed out and nodded for her to continue.

“I was able to come here because my tita- ay sorry- aunt; my aunt brought me here a year ago. I graduated high school, but I can’t go to college yet because my aunt is sick and she’s the one who pays for my schooling. College is very expensive and we can’t afford it anymore because of my aunt’s medicines.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You frowned. You felt bad, truly. Here you were, a college dropout but you’re living a luxurious lifestyle. Of course, that’s all thanks to Arvin. You were just lucky that you married a rich man. But as you sat in front of Celeste, you felt the need to do something nice for her. After all, in your mind, she was hired already.

“Oh, it’s okay.” Celeste smiled. “We’re getting by. My friend told me to apply to you and that’s why I’m here.”

“I understand.” You said as you folded your hands on the table. “When can you start?”

“Ha? What?” Celeste furrowed her eyebrows.

“You’re hired, Celeste.” You chuckled. “When can you start?”

“Um… as soon as possible!” Celeste exclaimed and you nodded.

“Pack your things and I’ll send for Pemberley to pick you up at your home address. I’d just like to confirm that your address on your resume is still your home, yes?” You asked and she nodded quickly.

“Okay. I’ll give it to Pemberley. He’ll pick you up at 9:30AM sharp.” You grinned. You both shook hands and continued eating.

The next day, you welcomed Celeste in your apartment and gave her a tour. She looked amazed at everything and it was entertaining to see. You told her that she wasn’t allowed in the master bedroom unless told and she wasn’t allowed in Arvin’s office.

You looked at your watch and gasped, “Oh, my! I’m late for a meeting. Make yourself at home and don’t forget to pick up Hayden from pre-school at 2:15. I have a note for you in your room. Please read it.” You quickly grabbed your bag and coat and left.

Celeste stood there and made her way to her room. After roaming around for 2 minutes, she finally saw her room and read the note.

Hello, Celeste! These are the rules:

Hayden can’t eat seafood. He is allergic.

No sugar-y or chocolate-y drinks before bed. Only one glass of milk with no sugar.

Sandwiches are not allowed to be eaten in his room because of crumbs.

If Hayden has no classes, you may take him to the park or the museum. As long as there are only a few people.

Stay away from crowded places. I beg.

Give Hayden a bath before bed.

Call me only when severe emergencies happen.

Your laundry schedule is the same as Hayden’s; TTh.

Always bring a small first aid kit in your bag and make sure you have a full container of hand sanitizer AT ALL TIMES.

Keep an eye on Hayden. He is your main priority.

P.S. Have fun! Eat whatever you want and if you need anything, please give Jose your own list before he goes grocery shopping.

Celeste taped the note on the wall next to her bed and started unpacking her things. She looked at her watch and realized that it was time to pick up Hayden from school. She quickly grabbed her small bag and ran to the front door.

Hayden’s school was just around the corner, so it was easy for Celeste to pick him up. There were many nannies waiting for kids to be picked up and Celeste was a bit overwhelmed that her job was actually starting. She never had training or anything.

A few more minutes of waiting, the door opened and out came a plethora of running and screaming children. During the apartment tour you gave her from hours before, she remembered you showing her a family picture that was recently taken. With that in mind, Celeste was able to remember what Hayden looked like.

Celeste looked around and saw a young boy by the steps, looking around. “Hayden!” Celeste shouted, causing the boy to look at her. Celeste walked over and said, “Hayden Russell?”

The boy nodded. She smiled, “I’m your new nanny. My name is Celeste.”

Using his manners, Hayden shook Celeste’s hand. Celeste grinned and took Hayden’s bag from him. She held his hand and they walked home. The walk home was short and quiet, but it was comfortable. When they walked into the fancy apartment building and into the elevator, Hayden spoke up.

“Can I call you ‘Celie’, instead? Like a super agent secret name? It’ll be cool.” Hayden said, causing Celeste to smile at him.

“Sure!” Celeste said.

When they arrived in the apartment unit, you were already home. Hayden ran up to you and you bent down to pick him up and hug him.

“How was school?” You asked as you kissed his forehead.

“It was fun! We learned so many things and we had arts and crafts and we-”

“That’s great, sweetie!” You smiled before putting him down. “You can play sudoku in the living room.”

Hayden made a face, “But I hate sudoku.”

“Yes, but it’ll help you stimulate your brain. Think of it as a mental exercise.” You grinned before softly nudging him to the living room where his sudoku book was waiting for him on the coffee table. Hayden begrudgingly walked to the living room and you turned to Celeste, “We need to talk.”

You turned around and walked to your husband’s office. He wasn’t there anyway and you had the freedom to speak business there. “Follow me.” You said without looking behind you. Celeste was scared shitless. She did the sign of the cross and prayed on her way to Arvin’s office.

“Aba Ginoong Maria, napupuno ka ng grasya, Ang Panginoong Diyos ay sumasaiyo. Bukod kang pinagpala sa babaeng lahat at pinagpala rin naman ang anak mong si Hesus. Santa Maria, Ina ng Diyos, ipanalangin mo kaming makasalanan ngayon at kung kami’y mamamatay. Amen. (Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.)” Celeste muttered under her breath. You opened the door to Arvin’s office and was immediately met with the darkness due to the closed curtains and lights that were not switched on. The only light present was the sun’s light peeping through the spaces between the curtains. You walked in and Celeste followed suit and closed the door behind her.

You sat on Arvin’s chair and read the papers that you previously laid there on the table. “Please, sit.” You motioned for her to sit in front of you and she did.

“I told you that I had a meeting earlier. I met with important people and we went through your records.” You told Celeste. Celeste knew that she didn’t do anything wrong and that she had a clean record, but that didn’t stop her from worrying.

Was she in trouble for declining her father’s call from the Philippines? Or perhaps she was in trouble for cursing her cousin. She wasn’t sure.

“And I’d like to applaud you for having remarkable and outstanding grades. Straight A’s?! I didn’t know you were smart. You didn’t put in your resume that you were a valedictorian.” You smiled sweetly. You were impressed.

“I didn’t put it because I don’t want to be hired because I’m a valedictorian. I want to be hired because you want me for the job.” Celeste said and you nodded in understanding.

“That’s very humble of you.” You smiled. “Anyway, I submitted your records to multiple colleges and they immediately got back to me.”

You opened the drawer and took out at least ten envelopes from well known universities. You handed the envelopes to her and motioned for her to read each one.

Yale University

Stanford University

Harvard University

New York University

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Cornell University

Brown University

University of California, Los Angeles

University of Pennsylvania

Columbia University

“I want you to look through those and read each one. You also have the freedom to check each university’s website to see what they look and what they offer and if what they’re offering is what you want, tell me.” You told her.

“That’s very nice of you, ma’am.” Celeste said, clearly overwhelmed with what you just told her. “I can’t afford it. It’s too- mahal. Ang mahal po kasi.(expensive. It’s too expensive.)”

You stared at her as she spoke to you in a foreign language. Not just any foreign language, her native language. She quickly realized what she said and said, “The tuition fee is too expensive.”

“You know, for a valedictorian, you’re kind of slow.” You joked. “Sweetie, you don’t have to worry about it because we’ll pay for your tuition fee.”

She gasped and squealed, “Thank you!”. She jumped out of her chair, did a small dance, and went up to hug you which took you by surprise. You smiled brightly and patted her arm as a sign of affection. It felt nice to do something good for once even though your husband does a lot of bad things. Sometimes you think that all the good things you’ve done are payback for all the bad things Arvin has done.

Celeste quickly let go of you and went back to her seat. She cleared her throat and apologized and you waved your hand and said that it was nothing. You debated with yourself on whether you should tell Celeste about your husband’s mob or not. You decided against it and told yourself that you’ll tell her when she asks.

“I’ll enroll you in any university you pick and I’ll make an arrangement that your tasks during the day until you pick up Hayden, are done face to face. Meaning, you’ll physically attend classes at the university of choice. Of course, that only applies here in New York.” You explained.

“Should you choose a university that isn't in New York, you'll be enrolled in online classes." You told her and she nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much!" Celeste said sincerely which made you smile.

"You're welcome. Study well and you can join Hayden in the living room now. I'm sure he's done with his sudoku. He should be reading his French book now." You said as you looked at the time on your phone before standing up. Celeste stood up too and held the letters close to her chest.

"I think my husband is coming home tonight, so we'll eat dinner at his favorite restaurant. Get ready at 6PM. Knowing him, he'll be late." You said and left the office with Celeste following behind. She closed the door and quickly went to the living room to check out the letters.

You went straight to your shared bedroom with Arvin and quickly went to your walk in closet that Arvin built for you. You scanned through the rack for dresses and scanned through multiple shoes to match your dress. You knew it was still 3:30PM, but you liked being prepared.

Your phone rang and you immediately answered it without looking to see who it was. “Hello?” You answered while grabbing a cerulean colored cocktail dress from the rack and holding it against you and checking it in front of a mirror.

“Y/N, honey, it’s me.” Arvin said. His voice was raspy and there’s no doubt that it’s because of his smoking habit. He’s trying to lessen it because according to him, he didn’t want to have cancer and he didn’t want his life cut short. Despite that, he still smoked… less than before. He was really trying. Key word: trying.

“You’re smoking right now, huh?” You asked, already tired of his shit. You loved him so much, but you didn’t have the energy of being his wife anymore. Probably because he doesn’t treat you like one.

“Mind your own business, woman!” Arvin hissed. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it still kind of hurt. “I’m just worried about you and you said that you’ll lessen the smoking.” You said calmly. You didn’t want to fight with him; it’s useless.

“I am. This is my third stick today and it’s late in the afternoon.” Arvin said, pushing his hair back. “Anyway, I called to tell you that I’ll be coming home tonight and I’m sleeping there.”

“Wow, it’s been a while. How long will you stay here?” You asked, hiding your excitement.

“I’m taking 7 days off. Starting tomorrow.” Arvin said. He gathered his things, got up from his seat and walked out of his office. “I’m leaving The Hamptons as we speak.”

“Alright. I’ll be waiting for you.” You said.

“What’re you up to right now, darling?” He asked, exiting the mansion and went straight to the limo. The door was being held open by Jeeves, the chauffeur. Arvin got inside and Jeeves closed the door before quickly getting in and driving.

“I’m picking a dress for tonight. I made reservations because you’re coming home.” You told him and he smiled.

“That’s sweet of you, darling. I’ll text you when I’m almost home, okay?” Arvin said.

“Oh, ok-”

Arvin hung up the phone and you sighed. You put the phone on top of the small chair before picking another dress.

Hours later, you received a text from Arvin saying that he was already around the corner and that he’ll just wait for you in the limo. You quickly finished getting ready and walked out of your room wearing a steel blue dress that you knew Arvin loved. You wore heels that matched it and wore dangling earrings that you wore on your wedding anniversary.

Celeste was wearing a polka-dotted blouse and a skirt that ran until her knees. She was wearing an old pair of Mary Jane’s and her hair was neatly combed. She had a hairpin to clip it back and on her shoulder, was a ‘nanny bag’ that you gave her. Hayden was wearing black pants and a button up that you bought last year. He was wearing black sneakers to match his outfit.

All three of you left the apartment and quickly made your way to the elevator. The elevator ride was short and before you knew it, you were in the lobby. Seeing the limo from afar, Hayden ran towards it causing Celeste to run after him. You walked quickly knowing that Arvin hated waiting.

Hayden opened the limo’s door and went inside to give his father a hug. “I missed you, daddy!” Hayden said with a smile and kissed his cheek. Arvin hugged back tightly and kissed the top of his head.

Arvin loved Hayden. The boy was like a copy of him and Hayden was Arvin’s most prized possession. He was the reason that Arvin worked hard and he was the reason that Arvin is sane. Although he doesn’t mind having more kids, Hayden was more than enough for him and he was content with that.

“I missed you too, buddy!” Arvin smiled widely and sat Hayden on his lap. Hayden started talking about what happened while he was away and Arvin was listening. Celeste went inside the limo and sat across from Arvin causing him to glance at Celeste up and down with furrowed eyebrows. You quickly got in the limo next to Arvin and closed the door. Jeeves asked if everyone was ready and you said yes. Jeeves started driving and he turned the music down a bit.

This caught your attention and you internally groaned. You looked at Arvin and quietly said, “Really? You’re playing this music again?”

Not leaving his gaze on Celeste, he said, “My limo, my music.”

You rolled your eyes and looked out the window. Arvin’s music played through the speakers and you decided to help yourself with a glass of champagne just to get through the night.

“Are you washed? (Are you washed?) In the blood (In the blood) In the soul cleansing blood of the lamb?”

The music filled the quiet limo, Hayden stopped talking a minute ago, finding the scenery more amusing than his own stories. Arvin nudged you and whispered, “Who the hell is the chick?”

“Hayden’s new nanny.” You whispered. “I hired her yesterday. She’s from the Philippines and-”

“You know what? I’ll interview her during dinner.” Arvin cut you off. “I already interviewed her and she’s qualified.” You hissed.

“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.” Arvin said. “I’ll do the talking. You already got to know her and it’s my turn now. I want the best for my son.”

“She’s very intelligent, you know.”

“I don’t give a shit, Y/N.”

“Daddy said a no-no word.” Hayden said, his eyes not leaving the window. “Also, can I get a puppy? Jason’s daddy bought him a new puppy and I want one too.”

“Tomorrow.” Arvin answered. “I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll buy a puppy.”

“Arvin, babe, he’s not responsible enough for a puppy yet.” You told him, but Arvin shrugged you off. He didn’t care what you thought. If his son wants a puppy, he’s getting a puppy.

You arrived at the restaurant and immediately got out of the car. You went down first and Hayden followed after. Arvin glanced at Celeste and motioned for her to get out first and she did. Arvin was last and he closed the door behind him. “Buy yourself some food, Jeeves.” Arvin said as he handed $200 to Jeeves through the driver’s side. “Pick us up when I text you. Don’t be too far, alright?”

“Yes, sir.” Jeeves said before driving off.

You all waited for Arvin and all four of you entered the fancy restaurant. The hostess led you to your table that had a small card that said: ‘Reserved for Mrs. Russell’ in cursive. All four of you sat down and the hostess provided menus for you, Arvin, and Celeste. A kids’ menu was handed to Hayden and he smiled and thanked the hostess. Holding a menu made Hayden feel like a real man. He wanted to be just like his father and that scared you because Hayden doesn’t know about Arvin’s job. Neither did Celeste and you felt sick to your stomach knowing that you brought two innocent people in danger. If things get worse, you’ll fire Celeste and let her go back to her family while you make sure that traces of her are gone. After all, if they find Celeste, she might get killed. Chances are, her family gets killed too. It’s all connected.

Anyway, all Hayden knew was that his father takes down bad guys. To him, Arvin’s a hero. But you knew better. Hayden will find out when he’s older. One day, he’ll understand that not all people who take down bad guys are heroes.

You all ordered and handed the hostess back the menus. Arvin took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before turning his attention to Celeste. “What’s your name, and where are you from?” Arvin asked.

Celeste stared at him in shock, “A-Are you talking to me, sir?”

“Who else would I be talking to? Of course, I’m talking to you.” He scoffed which made you slap his arm lightly. “Introduce yourself to me. We haven’t met and if my wife thinks you’re qualified for this job, it is also my right to see if you’re qualified as well.”

“U-Um, okay. My name is Celeste Regina Dela Cruz and I’m from the Philippines. My aunt brought me here last year. I only graduated high school and-”

“Alright. How did you find out about this job?” Arvin asked.

“My friend told me about it, so I applied.” Celeste said. A waiter came by and poured champagne on yours and Arvin’s glasses while he poured water on Celeste’s and Hayden’s.

Arvin nodded, “Alright. Were you a nanny before this?”

“No, sir.” Celeste answered.

“So, what makes you qualified for this job? Why are you here?” Arvin questioned.

“I’m here because… I want to work and I think that being a nanny is the only way.” Celeste answered and Arvin nodded before turning to you.

“Have you discussed her salary?” He asked and you shook your head. He nodded and turned to Celeste, “Will $100 a day be enough?”

“Yes, sir.” Celeste nodded furiously.

“Alright, then. $100, it is. I’ll give you extra if you’re good.” He said before taking out his phone and kept himself busy. You gave Celeste a tight lipped smile and did the same.

What Arvin said struck a nerve on you. You knew of his affairs and ladies, that’s why you never visited your mansion in The Hamptons. You knew there’d be a plethora of girls who are throwing themselves at your husband. You also knew that he wasn’t faithful and you knew that because he smelled like women’s perfume and sometimes he’d have a smudge of foundation on his white shirt. You stayed with him anyway.

“Thank you, sir.” Celeste said with a small smile. She turned her attention to Hayden and entertained him with stories from back home.

“How was work?” You asked Arvin and he shrugged.

“Nothing special. Rodriguez finally paid back what he owes, so that’s that. Also, dad visited me this morning. He said that he wanted to see Hayden. I told him I’ll think about it.” Arvin said with no emotion.

Arvin’s relationship with his dad, Willard, was rocky. It was no secret that Arvin preferred the company of his mom rather than his dad. Charlotte, Arvin’s mom, was the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. She helped you with your pregnancy and she’s the one who told Arvin to keep you away from the mob things. She didn’t want Hayden to grow up in such a bloody environment. Besides, it wasn’t safe. She’d occasionally visit you and Hayden when she’s not busy.

“How were things while I was gone?” Arvin asked.

“Same old. The only new thing was hiring Celeste.” You told him and he nodded. He moved closer to you and asked in a low voice, “Does she know?”

You shook your head and he nodded, “Good. It should be kept that way.”

“We’ll be paying for her college education.” You said quietly and Arvin’s head quickly turned to you as he glared daggers at you. You paid him no mind as you took a sip of your champagne. “We’ll talk later.” Arvin said sternly.

The waiter arrived with your orders and all four of you began eating in silence. Celeste was too awkward to start a conversation, Hayden didn’t know what to say, Arvin will talk to you later in his office, and you didn’t want to engage in a conversation nor start it.

After that, you ordered desserts. You initially didn’t plan to order any, but Hayden wanted the strawberry cake that he saw at the other table. Therefore, Arvin ordered four slices of that. As Arvin took bites of it, he chuckled which made you look at him through your peripheral vision.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, before eating the cake that was on your fork and chewing it. Arvin shook his head, “Nothing. I just remembered our wedding cake. It was similar to this.”

You smiled at the thought and nodded, “Yeah, they are similar.”

Your complicated marriage with Arvin made you stressed. You didn’t know how to act around him, but he was a great actor. He acted like he wasn’t cheating on you, he acted like he wanted the domesticated life, he acted like everything about his family was normal, and above all, he acted like he was still in love with you.

The truth is, Arvin isn’t in love with you anymore. But he loved you; he still does. He will never stop loving and caring about you. He just doesn’t get the same feelings as he used to. Before, one look at you gave him butterflies in his stomach and the world turned into slow motion. Now, he looks at you and he feels nothing. In his mind, you’re just his wife and the mother of his child. He didn’t know what to do anymore, but he knew he couldn’t leave you. Leaving you would ruin him because he knew you’d take Hayden away from him.

Being unfaithful wasn’t part of his plan, but it just happened. Then it kept happening with different girls and he hated himself every time. He knew that you knew. After all, he wasn’t discreet about it either. Both of you just pretend that nothing’s happening, it’s all swept under the rug and it’s killing you.

After dessert, Arvin texted Jeeves to pick you up as you called a waiter for your bill. After paying, Jeeves was already outside. Celeste got up from her seat and carried Hayden, who was falling asleep already. You and Arvin followed.

The ride home was shorter and quicker. When you arrived in the apartment, Celeste went straight to Hayden’s room with him fast asleep in her arms. Arvin cleared his throat which caught your attention. You looked at him and he nodded his head towards his office. He went there and you trailed behind him.

When he opened the door, he switched on the lights and went straight to his desk. You entered and closed the door. You sat in front of him and waited for him to talk.

“Since when were we paying for someone else’s education?” Arvin asked.

“Since now.” You answered boldly. He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “Why?”

“I’ve seen her records. She’s a valedictorian and she deserves to go to college. Her aunt can’t pay for it and I volunteered. It’s a little ‘thank you’ for taking care of Hayden. Taking care of a child isn’t easy.” You explained.

“That’s her job. Her little ‘thank you’ is her salary.” Arvin said with his thick accent.

“She deserves more than that.” You told him. “We have so much money, anyway. Paying for her college education won’t even cause a dent in our bank account. Besides, you told her that if she’s good, you’ll give her extra cash. Now, what do you mean by that?”

You and Arvin stared at each other in silence. The tension was thick. It was obvious that you both have problems that you refused to bring up.

“Let’s go to bed.” Arvin said after a minute. He stood up and you stood up too. Both of you left his office and he turned the lights off. He went straight to your shared bedroom and you went to Hayden’s bedroom. When you peeked inside, Hayden was already asleep and wearing his pajamas. You took off your shoes and walked to his bed. You laid down next to him and hugged him as tears streamed down your face.

Being Arvin’s wife wasn’t easy and it wasn’t like the fantasy you had initially thought. You wanted a happy family, but Arvin doesn’t even lay with you anymore. Your day was tiring and chaotic with a mix of high and low emotions. You knew that it would repeat the next day and you already dreaded it. For now, you’ll just cuddle your 6-year-old son and try to get some sleep.

The next few days consisted of doing your daily tasks. The only difference is, Arvin was home and he joined in various tasks. He accompanied Celeste in picking up Hayden at school and true to his word, Arvin bought Hayden a puppy.

Now, the puppy is part of your daily tasks too. Hayden named his puppy 'Jack' and he loved it. Part of his new daily life, Hayden always made sure that Jack was nearby whenever he did anything whether it be sudoku or reading his French picture books.

Arvin loved Jack too. He even swore to Jack that he'd come home often. You rolled your eyes at that, but chose not to say anything. While you thought that nothing in your marriage will surprise you, you thought wrong. After his 7 days off, Arvin came home every night solely because of Jack and Hayden.

'Perfect.' You thought. 'At least he's coming home every night.'

It was now Sunday which meant that Hayden had horseback riding lessons at the back of your mansion in The Hamptons. Celeste was watching over Hayden with her cheap sunglasses on. The skirt of her dress was slightly lifting up due to the wind. You offered your hat to her, but she declined. She said that she was used to the sun because of the weather in the Philippines.

You and Arvin were in his office looking over Celeste’s university of choice. You were making calls and Arvin was checking out the university’s website on his laptop. You were currently on hold and you grabbed Celeste’s acceptance letter from Arvin’s desk. The envelope was open and you sat down on Arvin’s desk as you took out the letter from the envelope and read it.

Cornell University

Celeste Regina Dela Cruz 2264 Oak Street Manhattan, New York 10021

Dear Celeste Regina:

Congratulations on your acceptance into the College of Engineering at Cornell University! We are very pleased to be welcoming you to this coming academic year.

Very soon, you will receive your official letter of acceptance from us in the mail. We are excited that you will be joining the Cornell community and know that you will make a very positive contribution to the university.

Best regards,

Amanda K. Bishop Associate Vice Provost for Enrollment Cornell University

ENROLL AND DEPOSIT ONLINE: Please retain the URL and PIN provided in the notification email you received, as well as the password you created to view this letter. You will need all three in order to log in again to complete the Enrollment Response Form and submit your enrollment deposit.

You finished reading and before you knew it, you weren’t on hold anymore. You began talking to the person in charge and Arvin glanced at you from time to time while scrolling through Cornell’s website.

“I think she’ll enjoy Cornell, darling.” Arvin said, exiting Cornell’s site and you glanced at him and gave him a thumbs up before turning your attention to the call again. After an hour, you end the call and turn to Arvin.

“They agreed to let her do online classes and occasionally attend classes physically.” You informed him and he nodded.

“Do you think Hayden will get into Cornell? It’s a nice university.” Arvin asked. “I don’t really care where he gets in. I’ll be proud regardless.”

You gave him a small smile and said, “That’s wonderful. Speaking of Hayden, his horseback riding lessons should be done by now. Let’s go.”

You left Arvin’s office and he quickly followed behind you. “Is there something wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, not saying anything.

Days went on that way. You talked to Arvin less and less and he was starting to catch on to that. He also noticed that you don’t sleep next to him anymore and that you always made sure that you weren’t home when he comes home from the mob business.

-

The party was in full swing and the children were having so much fun. Arvin wasn’t a fan of parties, but he decided that it would be nice to have other children around the apartment. Hayden’s friends and classmates played around and the nannies were all huddled in one corner as they watched the children. Some of them even played with Jack.

You were with the parents and you couldn’t find Arvin. It was time for Hayden to blow the candles and you wanted you and Arvin to be there beside him. You looked for him everywhere and you forgot to check his home office. ‘He’s most likely in there.’ You told yourself.

Without knocking, you walked in and gasped when you saw the sight in front of you. The back of Arvin’s chair was facing you, but you didn’t need the chair to fully face you to know what they’re doing. A young woman, in her early 20s, was sitting on Arvin’s lap and you could see her bouncing up and down. Arvin wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was enjoying it. You quickly left and closed the door.

You knew he was cheating on you, but seeing him in action made it so real. You told yourself that you weren’t going to cry, but the tears you held back were freely streaming down your face. You quickly wiped them away and Celeste saw you.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” She asked. She was worried about you. You faked a smile and nodded, “Yeah, I’m alright. I just can’t believe that Hayden is 7 already! Time flies by so fast.”

Celeste nodded and smiled, “Okay. Hayden wants to blow his cake now.”

“Okay. Tell him to get ready.” You told her and she nodded, quickly leaving you alone. You glanced at the door of Arvin’s office and debated on calling Arvin’s attention or not. You decided that you weren’t going to call for him. If he cared about the little family you made, he would have the decency to not cheat on you on your son’s birthday. With that in mind, you held your head high and walked to the kitchen where everyone was waiting. Hayden was sitting on the bar stool while his cake was placed in front of him, on top of the countertop.

You smiled brightly at him and stood next to him. You kissed his cheek and gave him a side hug. “Where’s daddy?” Hayden asked you, looking up at you with innocent eyes.

“He’s busy cheating on mommy, sweetheart.” You wanted to say so bad, but you held back. It wasn’t nice to bring personal problems to parties. Especially your 7-year-old son’s party.

“He’s answering an important call for work, buddy. He’ll catch up later.” You lied. Hayden frowned, but his mood changed when everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ while some took pictures of you two. Celeste lit the candle that was shaped like the number 7. After the song, Hayden closed his eyes and made a wish before blowing his candle. Everyone clapped and you gave everyone a slice of cake.

When everyone was eating, Arvin finally walked out of his office with the young woman with him. He gave her $100 and whispered, “This is for not telling anyone and for spending time with me.” He winked at her and she blushed before quickly walking off to the kid she was watching.

Unbeknownst to them, Celeste saw the whole thing. She looked at you, Hayden, and Arvin and she looked torn. She wanted to tell you, but she was scared of Arvin. She thought that he was sketchy and she didn’t fully trust him. If she doesn't tell you, she’ll feel bad. So she quickly went to her room, called her sister and sat on her bed.

Toni, her sister, answered, “Oh, bakit ka napatawag? (Why did you call?)”

“May chika ako! Tangina, ‘di ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. (I have tea! Fuck, I don’t know what to do.)” Celeste said. She was panicking in her room and she truly didn’t know what to do.

“Ano ‘yon? (What is it?)” Toni asked.

“‘Di ako sigurado pero parang nambababae itong tatay ng alaga ko. Sabihin ko kaya sa asawa niya? (I’m not sure, but I think the dad of the kid I’m taking care of is cheating on his wife. What if I tell his wife?)” Celeste bit her nails nervously. Toni was quiet and said, “Ikaw bahala. Kung sa tingin mong kakainin ka ng konsensya mo, sabihin mo na. Kung kaya mong magkunwari na wala kang alam, edi ‘wag mo sabihin. (It’s up to you. If you think that your conscience will eat you alive, tell her. If you can pretend that you don’t know anything, then don’t say anything.)”

“Kung ikaw nasa pwesto ko, ano gagawin mo? (If you were in my place, what would you do?)”

“Wala. Kunwari wala akong alam. Saka ko na lang sasabihin pag tinanong ako. (Nothing. I’ll pretend that I don’t know anything. I’ll just tell her if she asks me.)” Toni answered.

“Sige. Chat nalang kita mamaya. Kailangan na ako sa labas. (Okay. I’ll chat with you later. I think they need me outside.)”

“Okay, bye!” Toni said before hanging up. Celeste took a deep breath and walked out of her room.

Some people were already leaving and Celeste immediately grabbed a big garbage bag to pick up the paper plates and paper cups that were left behind.

“Where have you been?” You asked Celeste sweetly. She jumped at the sound of your voice which was weird because she wasn’t jumpy.

“I-I went to my room to talk to my sister.” Celeste said. It was true, but she didn’t tell you why. You nodded and said, “Send her my regards.”

Celeste nodded and proceeded to clean up. You walked away and thanked your guests for coming to Hayden’s party. You’ve been avoiding Arvin for hours now and it was like he wanted to talk to you alone. You didn’t want to.

When everything was clean, it was already time for Hayden’s nighttime yoga routine. He quickly went to his room and started getting dressed in his yoga outfit. Celeste went to her room to grab her books, so that she could read while Hayden did his yoga. Jack went with them and Celeste was more than happy to know that the dog was joining them.

It was only you and Arvin in the living room. The tension was thick. You closed the door after the last guest left and Arvin started talking, “Why didn’t you call me when Hayden blew out his candle?”

“Was I supposed to?” You snapped and gave him a death glare which he seemed to return.

“Of course you were supposed to! I’m his dad and I should be there for him!”

“Why weren’t you present for most of the day, then? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I needed help with Hayden’s gifts? When I needed someone to give drinks to the adults, where were you? You weren’t around, Arvin. You were busy with God knows what!” You raised your voice.

“What are you saying?!” Arvin shouted.

“I’m saying that you’re not there for me and you haven’t been for a long fucking time!” You shouted back. This started a screaming match between the two of you. You didn’t even notice how loud you were shouting.

Hayden stopped doing yoga and looked at Celeste, “What’s going on?” Celeste looked at Hayden while listening closely. She sighed and told him, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Celeste walked out of Hayden’s room not knowing that Hayden followed her out. She only realized that Hayden followed her when she heard Hayden shout, “Stop fighting!”

You and Arvin stopped to turn your heads to Hayden who was already crying at the sight of his angry parents. The sight of Hayden crying made you cry too. You walked towards him, but he ran away to hide in his room. He locked the door and Celeste was just standing there awkwardly.

You wiped away your tears and to your surprise, Celeste spoke up. “Ma’am, sir, um, please don’t fight anymore because Hayden will not like it. If you can’t stop fighting each other, do it for Hayden.” Celeste said softly as she looked at both of you.

“Hayden is a very nice kid and he’s very smart and he’s very obedient. He does everything you tell him to do even if he doesn’t like it because he knows that it will make you happy. He doesn’t deserve to have parents that are fighting all the time and he doesn’t deserve a family that has problems. If you have problems, just talk about it. Don’t yell.” Celeste told both of you. She was trying to be a peacemaker and both of you commended her for it. It wasn’t her job to be a peacemaker, but she’s being one right now.

“Sir, I saw you a while ago at the party with a girl and you gave her money. Being unfaithful is not nice. You should be faithful to your wife because she’s doing her best. If you don’t love her anymore, why are you here?” Celeste said. You knew she didn’t mean anything wrong, but Arvin took it the wrong way.

“Excuse me?” Arvin asked, offended. “I’m offended that you had to ask me why I’m here. I’m here because I live here. It’s my money, it’s my apartment, and everything here is from me! So don’t ask me why I’m-”

“She’s right, Arvin.” You said and turned to look at him. “I’m tired of all this fighting and all this pretending. From now on, I’ll sleep in Hayden’s room. If you enjoy sleeping with different women, you’re surely going to enjoy sleeping alone.” You snapped before leaving the living room to go to the bathroom to wash up.

Arvin glared at Celeste angrily and she said, “Sir, I understand if you fire me. It’s fine. I’m sorry for disrespecting you in your house. But before you fire me, think about what I said, sir. Also, think about your son. You can’t take care of him because of your job and your wife can’t take care of him because she’s busy with different things. If you fire me, no one else will look out for Hayden. Thank you for listening, sir.”

Celeste looked down and went to Hayden’s room in hopes that she could coax him into unlocking the door and letting her in.

Arvin sighed in distress and rubbed his face with his hands before going to the master’s bedroom and slamming the door.

-

Arvin didn’t know what happened. All he remembered was going to an event that was attended by his mob allies when all of a sudden, his rival mob attacked them all. A lot of shooting happened and he was sure that his mob friends were killed. He hoped they weren’t.

People were screaming and he heard someone crying at some point. His people were scattered everywhere and he didn’t know if they were alright. He didn’t get out scott-free, though. He got shot on his side and he was shooting his rivals all while trying to get out of the venue to get in the car and go back to his mansion.

When he arrived, Amelia was already on her feet and doing her tasks. She was the only doctor, but she pushed through and it amazed Arvin how Amelia could help them. He admired her and thought that she was strong. Her job isn’t easy, after all.

A few hours of taking out bullets from bodies and declaring one person dead on arrival, Amelia was finally finished with her job. She was in Arvin’s office to get her paycheck while Arvin wrote her salary on a check.

“$20,000” Arvin wrote before handing it to her with a tight-lipped smile. Amelia took the check gratefully.

“Thank you, Mr. Russell.” Amelia smiled before grabbing her bag and leaving. Arvin sighed and leaned back on his chair. He hasn’t been home for a while and Hayden didn’t want to speak with him whenever he called you to talk to Hayden. It broke his heart.

He put a hand on his gun wound and closed his eyes to rest for a while to think about his life. He never really thought that his life would turn out like this, but he knew that someday he’d have to take over the mob. When he took over, that’s when he met you.

In truth, he didn’t know how or what to feel when it comes to you. He’s confused. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing which made him groan. He opened his eyes, grabbed his phone, and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hello, Russell.” His rival, George, said. Arvin could almost imagine the smug look on George’s face. Arvin gripped his phone tighter, “What do you want? You killed one of my men. Isn’t that enough?”

“Quite frankly, no. I would send my condolences to the deceased family, but I don’t really give a shit. Besides, it would teach you a lesson from stealing from me!”

“For the last time, I didn’t steal from you!” Arvin shouted.

“Your men joined my mob and stole from me!”

“It’s not stealing if they’re getting what’s rightfully ours.” Arvin hissed. “If anything, you stole from me!”

George scoffed, “If you really think that way, fine. Just know that you’ll pay for it.”

“I’m not paying for anything, George.” Arvin chuckled bitterly before pouring himself some scotch with one hand.

“Not even for your family?” George asked. “Wow, that shit’s cold.”

“What’re you talking about?” Arvin asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.

“Oh, you’re not informed?” George said sarcastically. “Your wife and son are here with me. If you don’t give me back what you stole from me, I’ll kill them. You know where to find me, Russell.”

George hung up and Arvin yelled in frustration. He sat up and winced because of his wound. He ran a hand through his hair and thought about how he’ll save you and Hayden. Him and his men talked about plans and when they were able to finalize, they wasted no time in going to George’s place.

The plan was going to George and giving him a duffel bag filled with rocks, so that he’ll think it’s the thing he was looking for; the thing he claimed Arvin’s men stole. Arvin decided that it’d be best for his men to ‘give it back’ to George while he and a few guys would look for you and Hayden.

Arvin heard George shouting about everything being fake and he heard gunshots. In a span of a few hours, his mob was shooting people again. He heard Hayden’s familiar cries and followed it while being covered by Javier, one of his men.

When Arvin found the room where George kept you and Hayden, he gasped when he saw you lying in your own blood, unconscious next to a weeping Hayden.

“Daddy!” Hayden cried and it made Arvin’s heart break. He had so many questions running through his mind. How long have you been unconscious? Why are you unconscious? Did they hurt both of you? Where’s Celeste?

Arvin quickly untied Hayden and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around him. “It’s okay, buddy. Everything’ll be okay.” Arvin whispered and kissed the top of Hayden’s head. He lets go of Hayden and knelt beside your body. He untied you and panicked when he saw multiple gun wounds on you. He knew that if you stayed longer, you’d die.

Arvin turned to Hayden and said, “Listen to me, okay? Take care of mommy and don’t go anywhere. Got it?”

Hayden nodded and wiped his tears. “Are you coming back?”

“Of course, I’m coming back.” Arvin reassured him. He stood up and quickly left the room and shot every person from his rival mob. When he saw George, all Arvin saw was red and started beating the shit out of his rival.

George didn’t get a chance to defend himself because Arvin just kept throwing punches and hits. Arvin wanted George dead for bringing his family into their problems. Arvin didn’t care about George’s bloody and bruised state. Arvin pushed George to the ground and whipped out his gun.

“This is for my family.” Arvin panted. He looked at George in the eye and shot his head mercilessly. He looked at his surroundings and saw that almost everyone in George’s mob was dead and the few that were alive, are either unconscious or terribly bruised.

Arvin ran back to the room and picked up Hayden. “I told you I’d be back.” He said as Hayden rested his head on the crook of Arvin’s neck.

Arvin ordered one of his men to carry you and immediately drove to the mansion. Arvin called Amelia and said that he needed her ASAP.

“Mr. Russell, it’s late and it’s not my schedule.” Amelia said groggily. She was already deeply sleeping and Arvin disturbed her greatly.

“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I need you ASAP, Amelia. It’s my wife this time.” Arvin said frantically. They arrived at the mansion and rushed you to the medical room where Amelia was hours before.

Hayden was asleep in Arvin’s arms and he went to his room to let Hayden sleep there comfortably. He hears shuffling around on Amelia’s end as he did his best to tuck Hayden in.

“I’m on my way.” Amelia said.

“Okay, please hurry.” Arvin pleaded before hanging up. He looked at Hayden and smiled a bit at the sight of his son fast asleep. He quietly left the room and rushed to the medical room where you were being kept. He wasn’t a doctor and he didn’t know what to do. Time was running out and for the first time in years, he finally saw you.

He finally realized how important you are in his life. He finally realized that it would hurt him deeply if you were gone. He couldn’t imagine going on with life without you by his side. He didn’t notice Amelia walking in the medical room and he only acknowledged her presence when he was being escorted out of the room by her.

“Wait, no! I want to say, Am-”

“You know you can’t.” Amelia said sternly. “It’s protocol. You can’t be here. Just wait outside.” Amelia pushed the mobster out the room and locked it. The whole time he waited, Arvin was pacing back and forth. He was restless. Who wouldn’t be? If your spouse is undergoing a procedure, you’d want to know about them, right? Arvin had no clue how you were doing.

Three hours later, the door opened and Amelia stepped out of the room. She was clearly tired. Arvin stopped pacing and stared at Amelia who only said, “She’s okay.”

“Thank you.” Arvin sighed in relief as he walked towards the room.

“You don’t need to pay me. Consider it a freebie. I know what it’s like to grow up without a mom at a young age and I don’t want that to happen to Hayden. Take care, sir.” Amelia smiled softly before leaving.

Arvin went into the room and pulled up a chair to sit next to your bed. He held your hand and stared at you. It’s been a long time since he’s seen your face. You were beautiful. You always have been and always will. Seeing you unconscious scared him greatly and it made him realize how much he still loves and cares about you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry this happened to you. I mean it.” Arvin said softly. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me almost losing you to realize that. You don’t know how sorry I am, sweetheart.”

“I can’t imagine the pain you must have felt when Celeste came clean about seeing me and some other girl on Hayden’s birthday. But I know you, Y/N. I know that you’ve always had a feeling that I was unfaithful and I can’t imagine your heartbreak when you found out about it being true.”

“When we first got together, I promised I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry for breaking that promise. I’ll be better for you, Y/N. I’ll come home and I’ll stay with you whenever you need me. I’ll be present for Hayden and I don’t want to argue with you anymore. I want us to go back to normal and I know it’ll be hard for you, but I’m willing to try.” Arvin said with hope in his eyes.

“I also know that you’re awake and that you can hear me clearly.” He added as he looked at you. You slowly opened your eyes and looked at him, “I hate that you know me well.”

“I actually love it. It makes me feel like I’m still in touch with you. Lord knows I’d be heartbroken if I can’t read you anymore.” He chuckled lightly before pressing a light kiss on your hand.

“Did you mean what you said? Trying again?” You asked and he nodded. “Then, I’ll try too.”

Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen.

However, some relationships work out and your marriage turns into something better than before. It happened to you and Arvin. He kept his promises and soon, you were blessed with a second child. Celeste was alright and you treated her like a sister you never had. In return for sending her to college, she did well in her studies and made sure to show you her grades which made you proud.

Everything was coming together and you were thankful that things took a nice turn. Your life as a mobster's wife wasn’t so bad, after all.

* * * *

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @cocoamoonmalfoy @parkerpeter24 @slutforsr @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @quxxnxfhxll @bora-world @supred12 @more-like-reyna

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz

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***

The Backstory

September 2006

In Nora Priestley’s fourteen years of life, she’s never lived this far away from the ocean before. It’s always been just right outside her window, a quick ten-minute trek from Thames Street until she reached the rolling dunes of Rejects Beach. Smelling the salt in her hair and feeling her skin grow sticky from the feeling of the ocean air was practically second-nature to her, but ever since she moved to the middle of nowhere Connecticut for boarding school, she’s never felt more disconnected from normality in her life.

Nora’s never really been a big fan of embracing change. She’d like to blame that on the fact that she’s never really had any monumental shifts to her tectonic plates so far in her short life, and she’s not quite sure if that’s a blessing or a curse.

It’s always been just her and her mom. A dynamic duo. A tag team of epic proportions. 

Growing up in Newport, Rhode Island could be worse, Nora thinks. She was lucky enough to grow up in a small coastal town where everybody accepted her in one way or another. Even though she was much different than the other kids her age, considering she spent most of her time alone while her mother worked, she never felt unhappy. Life was simple. Life was easy.

Nora and her mother, Shannon, lived in a small apartment in a renovated old colonial townhouse at the bottom of Thames Street. It was a third-floor walk-up, and in the heat of the summer when the humidity made the wallpaper begin to curl at the edges of her tiny paisley-coated bedroom, Nora had to sleep with her creaky window open with nothing but a thin sheet to cover her sweat-soaked body, the soft sounds of the rolling waves crashing against the shore lulling her to sleep.

Shannon Priestley was the ultimate leading lady in Nora’s life. She referred to Nora as her perfect mistake, because having a baby the summer she turned eighteen with a boy she thought would be her forever was the very definition of that phrase. But she handled it like she did everything else in her life—with grace and dignity, and nothing but a big gleaming grin on her face that always made Nora and everyone else lucky enough to be around her sunbeam feel that everything would be okay. 

With a one-year-old baby on her hip and a bright and shiny high school diploma under her belt, Shannon found a job listing to be a nanny for the Clemonte’s. Without a second’s deliberation, she packed up her things and moved to the tip of the state to Newport. 

The Clemonte’s were one of the wealthiest families in Newport, hailing from an impressive lineage of old money with an expansive estate of fourteen acres overlooking Ochre Point and the Atlantic Ocean. They were one of those families that named their properties, and when Shannon Priestley first stepped foot inside The Breakers mansion, she knew right then and there that her new bosses had very high expectations for her.

Shannon became the singular nanny to Warren and Jane Clemonte’s baby son, William. He was born three months after Nora, and even though Shannon felt slighted that she had to spend most of her days with another family’s child while her own was being watched by their downstairs neighbor, she promised to split her time evenly. And even though twenty-four hours in a day was never enough for Shannon, she made sure to spend most of it with Nora.

And Nora was always grateful for that. 

The second Nora was old enough to take care of herself, she started going to The Breakers after school so that her mom could walk her home. It was at that very moment when she had her first taste of ostentatious luxury, and from then on it never failed to amaze her. The other half certainly did live differently than Nora and her mother, and stepping foot inside the Clemonte’s mansion made that realization startlingly clear. 

This was when she first met William Clemonte. Nora always knew he existed, considering her mother would sprinkle in small anecdotes about him while doing other mundane tasks. “Willy was very quiet today,” Shannon would tell Nora on their walk home from Ochre Point to Lower Thames. “Mr. and Mrs. Clemonte want Willy to take piano lessons and learn Latin. How on earth is a seven-year-old supposed to handle that?”

To Nora, Willy was somewhat of a fictional character living behind the towering walls of The Breakers. She imagined him being a smaller boy, blonde with blue eyes and wearing some sort of matching ensemble sitting inside the thick walls of his mansion, overlooking the deep cobalt ocean through a grand wall of windows. But when she meets him one afternoon after her first day of second grade, she could not be any more wrong.

Sure, Willy Clemonte was a small boy, but he was by no means shy or scared of her. He took her on a tour through the grand halls of The Breakers, showed her all of the secret passageways built inside the walls from when the mansion was first erected back in the early twentieth century, and shared his brand new toys with her. 

But most importantly, he listened to her. He asked her a million questions about public school, about the world outside of his tall fortress, about the television shows Shannon let Nora watch after dinner, and the different kinds of popular music other kids their age were listening to.

“Wait, so *NSYNC isn’t just Justin Timberlake?” Willy would ask whenever Nora would show him what was inside her portable CD player (which was almost exclusively No Strings Attached until she reached the fourth grade). 

“Oh my god, Willy! *NSYNC is a boyband! Justin is just the best one,” Nora would scold right back, shoving the plastic headphones over his blonde head of hair so that the felt cushions would press against his ear, the vibrating thumps of “Bye Bye Bye” playing through the electronic equipment.

Whenever he would ask her about school, Willy was always shocked to hear how different her experience was from his own. Nora would tell him about the yellow school buses that picked up and dropped off her friends, she would show up to his house afterward wearing jeans and a pink Gap sweatshirt and he was always surprised to learn that kids could wear whatever they wanted during the day, and when she would come over on Fridays and tell him that her mother gave her a dollar for pizza day at lunchtime, Willy wished more and more that he could go to public school with her, too.

While Willy was nothing but sunshine and kindness, Warren Clemonte was the complete opposite. A cold and distant man, stern and grumpy with a perpetual frown on his face, he sent a terrifying chill all the way down to Nora’s bones until they rattled together like a hollow instrument. And one Thursday afternoon when Shannon was busy packing Willy’s bags for the Clemonte’s annual Christmas trip to Aspen, Warren caught his son running around the main hall searching through every nook and cranny for Nora’s impressive hiding spot. It was only once she heard the bellowing yells when she emerged from behind an old armoire in the library, peeking her head around the corner to watch Warren yell at Willy in the echoing hallway.

“What do you think you’re doing, running around when you’ve left your Latin workbook unfinished?” Warren demanded, his low voice bouncing off the thick walls.

“I’m sorry, dad. I was just—”

“—Just what? Playing around and avoiding your responsibilities? How are you supposed to learn anything if you spend all of your time dilly-dallying with that girl, William?”

Willy began to cry then, and before Nora could interfere, her mother was already ten steps ahead of her, entering the main hall and apologizing profusely while her daughter stayed hidden behind the old armoire, watching everything with regretful eyes.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Clemonte. I was just packing for Willy, I didn’t realize he had run off. I’ll make sure it never happens again, sir,” Shannon said, placing a comforting arm around Willy’s shaking shoulders while his father stood barely five feet away, watching his wailing son with lifeless eyes. 

“Please do, Miss Priestley. William does not need any more distractions.” His voice held a clipped finality to it, and when he walked away and Nora appeared from behind the wall to approach Willy who was clutching her mother for dear life, she never understood how his father could just leave his son to fall apart in front of him like that.

That was the last afternoon Nora ever spent at The Breakers. 

Up until four months ago, Nora was almost certain that the entire Clemonte family had forgotten that she existed, and that treacherous afternoon with Willy nearly seven years ago was just a sad memory that could be tarnished for the rest of eternity. But when her mother comes home with a thick black and red folder, the words Townbridge Academy in capital letters splayed against the front page above a golden crest, Nora’s never been more confused in her life.

When she asked her mother what she was doing with a boarding school acceptance letter in her hand that Nora had never heard of before, the answer she received was definitely not what she had expected. Apparently, Mrs. Clemonte found out that Nora was planning on attending the public high school on Broadway Street, and apparently, she believed that she could offer Shannon a lending hand. Nora would like to blame it all on Jane Clemonte’s philanthropic tendencies, but a few phone calls and a faxed copy of Nora’s stellar transcripts later, Nora was appointed a lofty scholarship to attend Townbridge Academy in the fall. 

All things considered, Nora did not want to go. She liked her middle school friends, she liked being her own person, she liked knowing that her mom was only a twenty-minute walk away, and most importantly, she liked not having to be associated with a family like the Clemonte’s. She didn’t want to be seen as a charity case, and accepting the scholarship on Mrs. Clemonte’s behalf to attend a prestigious boarding school like Townbridge Academy was exactly that.

But when her mother sat her down and told her how amazing this opportunity was, and how much Nora could accomplish with a diploma from one of the best schools in the country, Nora couldn’t bring herself to say no. Especially when her mother held her close and whispered in her ear, “God, Nora, you can do all of the things I never could have done,” Nora knew that there was no way she could break her mother’s heart.

Because now, standing in her new dorm room with deep oak walls, a creaky polished hardwood floor, a red ornamental rug that smelled a bit like Warren Clemonte’s cologne, and a small twin bed nestled in the corner underneath a window overlooking the bleak green hills of Connecticut—Nora Priestley wishes she had told her mother no.

Before she can even wallow in her own self-imposed misery, the front door opens revealing an older man carrying a trolley holding a matching six-piece set of luggage. Nora looks down to the singular old leather suitcase she purchased at a surplus store on Spruce Street resting on the floor, comparing it to the monogrammed navy blue set with the gold letters ARW spanning across each piece.

The man begins placing each suitcase onto the floor without uttering a word to a very confused Nora, and suddenly the door opens wider, a pretty girl with strawberry blonde hair floating into the room. She’s wearing a white tennis skirt that rests a few inches above her kneecap, with a powder blue collared shirt cuffed at the wrists. For a brief moment, Nora wonders if her mother purchased the wrong uniform set for her, but when the girl lifts her eyes from her Blackberry and looks over at Nora, she notices a sailor’s crest embroidered on the right side above her chest with more initials, and she begins to breathe a little. 

“Hi! You must be my roommate, I’m Nor—”

“—Where are the rest of your bags?” the girl interrupts, eyeing the old leather suitcase disdainfully. Nora’s fingers immediately fly up to her scalp and begin raking through her blonde hair, a nervous habit she’s tried her hardest to get rid of.

“I have a duffle on the desk chair, too,” Nora explains quietly, removing her hand from her hair so that she can point towards the old wooden desk that holds her mother’s duffle bag.

Nora watches as the girl’s piercing gaze shifts from her two flimsy bags to her outfit. And when Nora watches beady hazel eyes take in her old white tank top, her mom’s grey knit cardigan, thrifted bootcut jeans, and sandals from two summers ago, Nora’s never wanted to disappear more in her life. 

Before she can find the words to speak, Nora hears a shrill “Alyssa!” echo through the hallway, until a matching set of girls wearing nautical-inspired clothing and thick headbands are hugging the strawberry blonde-haired girl who just so obviously judged Nora a few moments ago.

“Who’s this?” one of the girls asks Alyssa, breaking away from their hug and looking over at Nora with interest.

Just as Nora reaches a hand out to introduce herself, Alyssa says, “Doesn’t matter. Let’s go, girls,” and the three girls spin around without even uttering a goodbye. 

Nora watches as they walk down the hallway, giggling the entire way as if they hadn’t singlehandedly just ruined her first official day away from home.

***

October 2006

The first month at boarding school is just a series of Nora playing catch up. While she thought going to public school and hanging out with normal people would be enough to prepare her for high school, three weeks in she’s never felt more lost in her entire life.

She’s one of the only students who doesn’t own a cellphone, she wears second-hand Sperry’s instead of fancy loafers with gold links on the front, her backpack is a maroon Jansport while most students opted for leather messenger bags, and when people ask her how she spent her summer, she’s gotten used to the wide-eyed look they give her when she explains that she scooped ice cream near the beach for tips.

Nora’s not naive. She knows that she’s referred to as The Scholarship Girl behind her back, she knows that Alyssa complains to her elitist friends about how dreadful it is to be forced to room with a girl who wears hand-me-down clothing, and she knows that adjusting to life at Townbridge was going to be the very definition of arduous. 

But she remembers what her mother told her—how Nora’s skin is thicker than she thinks, and no matter how different she is to everybody else, she’s still just as deserving of a top-notch education. 

Even though Nora was at the top of her class for most of her life, she still felt far behind the rest of her classmates at Townbridge. She spends the first few weeks getting very acquainted with the walls of the library, making the nearly twenty-minute trek from her dorm in Emerson Hall to Millikan Library across campus. Classes have only just begun, but Nora can’t afford to fall any more behind than she already has. So instead of making friends and signing up for various clubs and sports teams, Nora’s allowed her backside to practically mold into the stiff wooden chairs inside the empty library.

Nora would have completely forgotten about the First Year Mixer being held that evening if not for Alyssa and her friends getting ready in her dorm room. When she walks in still wearing her uniform well after classes have ended for the day, the three girls look at her as if she were crazy.

“Did you forget about the mixer tonight, Nora?” Grace, one of the twins, asks with a shocked expression decorating her pretty face. All three girls are wearing colorful Lilly Pulitzer dresses, passing along mascara and eyeshadow amongst themselves in preparation for tonight.

“Uh, no I was just—”

“—Making friends with the books again?” Alyssa sneers, earning a giggle from the girls.

Nora chooses not to respond. It’s just easier that way.

Walking over to her wardrobe, Nora sorts through her limited selection of clothing to find something appropriate to wear for tonight. She didn’t even want to be in attendance, but she’s figured that she’s probably spent enough time on her own, and that maybe, in the off chance that Townbridge has some normal students, she can make a friend or two.

The only two dresses she brought with her were a simple long-sleeved cream sweater dress that fell just above her knees, and a thin summer dress her mother bought her two years ago that was tighter and fell around mid-thigh. She goes with the sweater dress, deeming it the best outfit she has to just simply blend in. Once it’s over her head, she reaches for her thigh-high socks and brown boots she got as a graduation gift, slipping them on quickly. October has left a brisk chill in the nighttime air, and considering her jackets consisted of a worn-in winter parka and an oversized flannel she scored at Goodwill, Nora thinks this combination will be more than fine.

She reaches for the comb on her desk and begins to rake it through her knotted hair, smoothing out the kinks and leaving the strands to fall in their messy, wavy natural state. Just as she’s digging through her backpack to try and find her lip balm and mascara, she can’t help but overhear Alyssa gossiping to Grace and Erin loudly from across the room.

“Harry’s plane landed a few hours ago,” Alyssa gushes, plucking the blush from Grace’s hands and beginning to apply it to the apples of her cheeks.

“Oh my God, no way! You must be so excited, Lyss!” Erin squeaks, reaching for the lipgloss that Alyssa just used. Before she can even remove the lid, Alyssa swats at her wrists and tells her to pick another color.

“Have you been texting all summer?” Grace asks from behind the vanity.

Alyssa nods, readjusting her freshly curled hair. “Ever since he left the Hamptons in July, yeah. We’ve been messaging back and forth. He told me he can’t wait to see me tonight.”

“That’s so romantic, Lyss!” Erin says, and Nora tries her hardest not to roll her eyes. “I can’t believe they let him miss the first three weeks of school.”

“He’s Harry Styles, Erin,” Grace chides, turning to face her sister with slanted eyes. “He can do whatever he wants.”

Nora twists the mascara wand back into the tube before backing away from her desk, double-checking her outfit to make sure that it was suitable enough. Just as she gives her hair one last fluff, she hears Alyssa ask, “Are you really not going to do anything with your hair?”

Nora turns towards her with a sheepish look, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t own any styling tools so…” she lets the words fall from her mouth, watching the three girls in front of her look at her as if she had a second head growing out of her neck.

“You’ve never straightened your hair?! I’m sure Alyssa will let you borrow—”

“—Erin! Enough. Let’s go, we’re going to be late,” Alyssa scolds, ending the conversation abruptly. Before Nora can even shoot a smile in Erin’s direction, the three girls are already out the door, leaving Nora to walk to the Great Hall by herself. 

The problem with spending all of her time walking from her dorm to the lecture halls on East Campus to Millikan Library is that she seemingly forgot where every other building was. Trying to locate the Great Hall in daylight was already difficult for Nora, but now with the sun practically set behind the horizon and her sense of direction completely shit, she starts panicking when she’s walked by the dining hall for the third time.

An upperclassman saves Nora before she can have a full-blown panic attack in the middle of the quad, and with two minutes to spare, Nora finds a row with a few empty seats towards the back of the room. 

Nobody seems to have noticed her, save for the girls in the row in front of her who turn around when Nora’s boots jostle their chairs. She offers them a muffled apology, and just as quickly as they turned around to look at her, they swivel their necks to face the front again.

Nora sighs to herself, before lifting her head to hear the Headmaster begin his speech. After listening to him drawl about the mission statement and his expectations for the first-year students, Nora immediately wishes she never left her dorm room. She can feel her eyes begin to droop, and before her body can slump further down into her chair, the sound of a heavy oak door closing echoes throughout the Great Hall, and Nora feels her body springing upwards.

Headmaster Clayton pauses in his monotonous ramblings, and before the entire collection of students in front of Nora can turn around to see what the interruption was, a long body falls into the chair next to hers, and the Headmaster resumes his speech as if nothing ever happened. 

“Did I miss anything?” an impossibly British voice whispers in Nora’s direction, and she’s a bit surprised by the low timbre of it. She looks over at him and finds herself staring into green pools with a golden shimmer surrounding his irises. Nora’s never been captivated by a boy before—but the one sitting next to her with fluffy chocolate curls falling over his forehead, surrounding his ears, and ending at the nape of his neck might possibly be the first. His hands are shoved inside the pockets of an expensive-looking black trench coat, and his upper body is leaning towards hers as he awaits her response. When Nora notices his pink lips forming into a small smirk, she’s almost positive that she’s been caught staring at this boy for far too long.

“Uh, no. Not really,” she whispers back, scrutinizing the way her voice squeaked at the beginning of her sentence.

His smirk shifts into a full-blown grin, and Nora can feel her cheeks begin to burn. “Hm, sounds like somebody wasn’t paying attention in the first place.”

Before Nora can retort, the boy near her chuckles softly at her nervous expression. “Can’t say I blame you, love. Clayton’s a fucking fossil.”

Nora giggles, causing the girls in front of her to turn around again with a murderous expression on their faces. She stops abruptly, and after they’ve snapped their heads forward for the second time, she looks over to the boy on her left and finds him trying his hardest to stifle another chuckle.

He shifts his body so he’s no longer leaning in Nora’s direction, and she’s a bit saddened by the sudden distance between them both. 

Nora replays the interaction in her inexperienced, fourteen-year-old mind, wondering if the boy near her was just flirting with her. There’s no denying that she thinks he’s cute, considering she finds herself sneaking looks at him every few minutes during the duration of Headmaster Clayton’s speech just to get another glimpse of his soft hair and sunken dimples. And on more than one occasion, he catches her in his periphery, shooting her that charming smirk that never fails to make her cheeks blush. 

The moment Headmaster Clayton wraps up his speech and the rest of the students begin to stand, Nora turns towards the boy and finds that he’s already looking at her. Now that they’ve exited their row, Nora notices how tall he is, taking in his long legs clad in black denim, his even longer torso in a similar black shirt. The all-dark ensemble somehow makes him look older. Makes him look mysterious. Makes him look even more handsome—and suddenly Nora’s grown a bit nervous.

“I’m Nora, by the way,” she says, sticking her hand out for him to shake. He hesitates, looking between her face and her outstretched hand with a smile on his face, finding it incredibly cute that a girl his age would greet him so formally. 

Just before his hand can fall into hers, another hand claps him on the shoulder and he’s forced to look at the intrusion, his own arm falling back to his side. “Harry, my man! How was the flight?”

When Nora looks over his shoulder, she notices two boys greeting him warmly. She hasn’t really met anybody at Townbridge aside from Alyssa, Grace, and Erin, so she’s not surprised when she doesn’t recognize the two other boys infiltrating their small bubble.

But upon further inspection, Nora realizes that she does, in fact, recognize one of them.

Standing directly in her line of vision is none other than Willy Clemonte. Although it’s been seven years since Nora last saw him, there’s no denying that the sandy-haired, blue-eyed teenager in front of her is him. He’s practically almost the same height as his father now, towering over Nora in his khaki pants and a white cable-knit sweater. His hair still tangles in his eyelashes and his cheeks are still dusted with freckles, and Nora’s stunned at the sudden rush of memories that flood her insides.

He seems to have made the same startling realization as Nora did, because his eyes begin to widen almost comically, and a strained expression falls over his features. Before they can give away that they’ve been staring at each other, the boy from before, now known to Nora as Harry, spins around on his heels and gives her a small smile.

“Nora, right?” he asks, and she nods hesitantly. “Where are you from?”

“Uh, Newport,” Nora answers.

“Oh, wicked! So you must know Will, then?” Harry asks, seemingly oblivious to the awkward tension radiating from the two of them. 

Before she can respond, Will clears his throat and takes a step forward. With one last panicked look at Nora, he tells Harry, “Yeah, man. Her mom was one of our maids.”

“Wait, what?” Harry asks, confusion written all over his face. Nora’s surprised that she can hear it over the sound of her breath leaving her lungs from Willy’s comment. Sure, she knew that the last time they saw each other he was crying into her mother’s arms over a remark his father said, and sure, she didn’t expect them to resume their friendship as if nothing had happened.

But to blatantly lie about Nora’s mother, a woman who took care of him for years? Nora never thought that he would grow up to be so cruel. 

To twist the knife lodged into her chest even further, Alyssa and the twins approach the group with annoyed looks, all aimed in Nora’s direction. They seem to have overheard Willy’s previous comment, and before Nora can even defend herself, Alyssa reaches out and wraps her hand around Harry’s forearm as if she were claiming him in front of everybody.

“Yeah, apparently Townbridge is letting just about anybody in this year. Just ignore her, Harry, we all have been,” she says, her tone nothing but dismissive. 

Nora watches as Harry shifts his gaze from Alyssa to her. His green eyes fall down her body, and for the first time, he notices the loose thread at the hemline of her dress from overwear, the tear in her socks behind the knee, her brown boots that lack the distinction of a designer label. With one last look at her, he takes a step back, and Nora knows right then and there that she’s been condemned as an outsider. 

“C’mon Harry, tell us all about the rest of your summer in France! I want to hear all about it,” Alyssa enthuses, and without a second look, the group turns around and leaves Nora staring after them.

No matter how attractive she finds Harry, there’s no denying that his personality is undeniably ugly. And as she watches him wrap an arm around Alyssa’s shoulder, Nora thinks it’s quite fitting that they’ve both found each other.  

***

November 2007

Summer has always been Nora’s favorite season (living permanently near the ocean sort of makes that inevitable), but that summer after her first year, Nora’s never been more excited to be home. She missed her mom, she missed the beach, and she missed her normal friends who didn’t care that she wore sandals that were falling apart and shorts that were fraying at the edges.

When Nora came back from school, she begged her mother not to send her back to Townbridge for her second year. She told her how she couldn’t make friends, how everybody made her feel like a social pariah, and how she was absolutely miserable being so far away from her. 

“Oh, Nora baby,” her mother said, holding her close. “You know exactly who you are. You’re strong, you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent—and you’re so much better than those kids who make you feel like you aren’t.”

“You don’t understand, mom,” Nora said through hiccups, wet tears soaking her cheeks, “They hate me. All of them. They never even gave me a chance.”

“Everybody?” her mother asked. And when Nora just stared at her with her lower lip trembling, Shannon combed her fingers through Nora’s blonde hair comfortingly. “I’m sure there are people at Townbridge who are just like you. I just don’t think you’ve tried to find them yet.”

Even though she didn’t want to admit it, Nora knew that her mother was right. So after another summer filled with scooping ice cream for tips and spending every second of her days off at the beach reading romance novel after romance novel, Nora packed up her things for the second time—this time with another suitcase—and set off for Connecticut with higher hopes for her second year.

Things seemed to be turning around for her when she discovered that her roommate was no longer Alyssa Whalen. Instead, it was a girl named Lydia who lived a few towns over in Madison by the beach, just like Nora. They bonded instantly over their shared love of having sea-knotted hair and the feeling of having sand squished between your toes and letting your fingers wrinkle from wading through the briny water for too long. And when Lydia encourages Nora to sign up for the swim team with her, Nora’s grateful that she’s finally found a friend in this hellhole. 

Her second year is leagues better than her first, considering in the first three months, she barely had to cross paths with Alyssa and Harry. On the rare instances that they do run into each other, they simply ignore the other’s existence, and Nora doesn’t mind it one bit. It’s just easier that way, she supposes.

Halfway through Nora’s swim season, she turns sixteen and discovers that everybody around her is getting their license. Lydia’s parents bought her a used 2005 Honda Civic when she passed her driver’s test, and when she told Nora that she could use it whenever she needed, Nora felt bad lying to her new friend. Because once again she was playing catch up, getting her learner’s permit over the summer when everybody was already scheduling their exam, and with the way things were going, Nora wouldn’t be able to get her license until she was home again for summer break.

She also didn’t want to admit to Lydia that she couldn’t afford a car, and that her mother would never allow Nora to take her 1997 Toyota Corolla to campus. 

After swim practice one November afternoon, Nora leaves the Athletic Center with wet hair to head back to her dorm in Donahue Hall completely across campus. Normally, Nora walks with Lydia, but since it’s Friday and students who live in-state with a license are allowed to leave campus for the weekend, Nora’s forced to make the twenty-minute journey alone. 

With her gym bag slung over her shoulder, Nora begins to walk through the parking lot to head towards the footpath that will bring her through campus. The sky is awfully dark for four in the afternoon, and when she looks up and notices the menacing grey clouds, she kicks herself for not packing her umbrella before she left her room this morning.

Just as she’s almost in the clear, she hears a familiar giggle that makes her skin crawl. Living with Alyssa for one excruciating year has allowed Nora to recognize that sound almost immediately, and sheepishly she tucks her chin deeper into the neckline of her jacket, praying that her face is hidden as she walks past the group. 

When Nora reaches inside her half-zipped gym bag for her water bottle, she swears to herself when the strap detaches from the siding and the nylon bag falls to the cement. Making sure everything is strapped appropriately, she heaves the bag over her shoulder once it’s zipped up. As she swings her elbow to place the bag comfortably around her body, she doesn’t take into account her proximity to a particularly shiny black SUV—and just before she can escape the parking lot undetected, her bag smashes against the hood of the car, causing the headlights to flicker on and off and the alarm to blare piercingly through the space. 

“Hey!” Nora hears from behind her. When she turns she sees Harry jogging towards her, his brown hair dripping from the shower he just took. He’s wearing joggers and a Townbridge Academy Soccer sweatshirt, and when he reaches inside his pocket and reveals a shiny key fob, Nora swears for the second time knowing that the fancy car she just accidentally hit belonged to him.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” His voice is booming through the parking lot and it’s enough to make Nora feel incredibly small. When he finally presses the alarm button on his key and the blaring stops, she can hear his exasperated breaths in its place, and she’s not quite sure what’s worse.

“I didn’t mean to—”

“—I saw the whole thing, Harry!” Alyssa calls over from her spot across the cement, walking towards the pair of them with an accusatory finger extended in Nora’s direction. “She slammed her gym bag against your car.”

“It was an accident!” Nora screeches, feeling her face turning red. “My bag strap fell off and when I went to put it back on my shoulder, I bumped your car. Not, er, intentionally.”

Harry looks between the two girls with an annoyed expression on his face. “Just be more careful, yeah? It’s brand new.”

When Nora looks at the behemoth of a vehicle to her left, observing the shiny black exterior with the words Range Rover written across the front in chrome lettering, she can only imagine the outrageous price tag it has. Which is why she nods, apologizing one last time.

“Won’t happen again.” Nora begins to turn around on her heel, just as the air begins to get cooler and the slightest smell of rain can be detected in the distance.

“You’re walking all the way to Donahue in the rain?” Harry asks suddenly, and Nora begins to wonder how he even knows she lives in that building. She pauses, thinking if he or Alyssa or any one of their stupid friends lives in Donahue, and when she comes up with nothing, she turns around with a confused expression on her face.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t have a car.” Before she can feel the first drop of rain hit her skin, laughter erupts from the small group surrounding Harry and his car. Nora hides her face, wishing the ground would swallow her up. 

With one last gulp, Nora turns around and begins walking towards the footpath, shoving the hood of her flimsy rain jacket over her head. 

“Well, at least your hair is already wet!” Nora hears Alyssa call out from behind her, with more laughter following until Nora’s a safe distance away from where she can no longer be scrutinized by Harry and his rude friends.

As Nora reaches Donahue Hall with her tracksuit bottoms sticking to her legs like a second skin and her jacket completely drenched, all she can think about is how she’d rather walk another ten miles before ever having another conversation with Alyssa Whalen and Harry Styles if her life fucking depended on it.

***

A/N: Here’s chapter two! We’ve finally met Harry and Alyssa (yikes), so feel free to share with me your thoughts and predictions for the next part! High school is a funny time period to write about, and I’m excited to share the next part with you all. Look out for it on Friday, February 19th, which will be the normal update schedule. Until then, stay safe! x

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[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Ructare florem tristitiae

Summary: Allen Walker’s feelings bubble up his throat, flower petals spilled on his father’s grave, for the Akuma, who will never get proper burials. Ructare florem tristitiae, Cross Marian diagnoses, grief flowers.

Parasitic type Exorcists never live for long; carries of Hanahaki should die even quicker.

Allen is determined to make the best of it.

Rosa bracteata

His name was Allen, his father was dead, and he’s choking, drowning in his grief, spilling his guts in the graveyard. His shoulders shook and he heaved until he collapsed, fingernails clawing at his skin until they left red scratches. Metal in his mouth as he vomited roses that, under all the blood from thorns tearing up his throat, were white.

“You want me to retrieve Mana Walker?” the grinning clown asked, curiously staring down at him.

Another rose petal fell from Allen’s mouth as he screamed his father’s name.

Ornithogalum umbellatum

Cross was too late.

His mistake couldn’t be any clearer, standing in front of Mana’s grave, holding a casket that was bound to be empty, looking at a child that was meant to disappear. Allen’s face was covered by blood, and thus Cross did not pay any attention to the flowers surrounding him as he picked Nea’s host up and carried him to safety.

The little brat never should have been caught up in this war of theirs and Cross almost wanted to laugh at the irony of a Noah’s host being so deeply connected to Innocence, it took over his body. Laughing, drinking, and sex would certainly be better distractions than screaming in rage and lashing out at a kid that couldn’t be blamed for any of this, but right now, Cross couldn’t afford to do either.

All he had left were the curses he could hiss under his breath as the child screamed himself hoarse from the pain, choking until Allen threw up on him, the remains of lunch and flower petals ruining his shirt.

“Fuck no,” Cross exhaled, fingers twitching for a cigarette. “Since when does the brat have fucking Hanahaki?”

Mother only huffed. “Why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you know since you watched him?”

“Well, he certainly wasn’t spitting up little snowdrops when he was running around with Mana!”

No, when the two clowns had been traveling together, Mana had been the one choking on the same red poppies he’d always cried for his brother. Fucking Nea, this better be worth it. From a scientist to an Exorcist to a nanny for traumatized little Noah hosts, who pissed their bedding.

“Those aren’t snowdrops,” Mother said, picking at the few flowers Cross had cleaned off the blood. “Aren’t you a bad priest that you can’t even recognize these?”

“Why the fuck should I recognize any flowers—”

“Stars of Bethlehem!”

Cross turned to the door where Barba was standing with Allen’s clean sheets, pointing excitedly at the little flowers. “Those are stars of Bethlehem. I’ve always wanted to decorate with them for Christmas because of the name, but they’re pretty sad flowers.”

Sad flowers, huh? “What do they mean?”

“Atonement,” Barba replied. “And reconciliation, guilt, and fear.”

Sighing, Cross leaned back in his chair and grabbed the entire bottle of wine. “Of course, the brat has grief flowers.”

Parasitic Innocence and Hanahaki? Nea better woke up soon, or the boy might die before he had the chance to erase him.

Calendula officinalis

Allen’s new Master was a bastard, so unlike Mana that he wanted to scream and return to his grave, spill more father’s day gifts and stars. But if he returned to Mana without having saved a single soul, he could never forgive himself.

And thus Allen stayed, carried his bags, found a routine with his Master, wondering when he’d finally learn how to use his Innocence against those Akuma.

“Hurry up, stupid apprentice, we’re going to be late.”

“Late where—” Allen froze as his gaze stopped at a lone man in the crowd and his left eye suddenly exploded in pain as his vision changed, shifted, and the man turned into a shadow, a skeleton wrapped in chains and guts, screaming, tearing at their constraints, begging for salvation.

Allen fell to his knees, his father’s screams echoing in his mind as he began coughing, struggling for breath, orange blooms landing on the dirt road.

“Allen— what are you doing!?”

His Master’s voice thundered through the air, commanding and another note he couldn’t identify.

“The man,” he stuttered out, swallowing down the bitter taste, the copper. “The man, Master, he’s like— like Mana!”

Cross’s head whipped up just in time for the man to see them.

And then all hell broke loose.

Tagetes erecta

The marigolds continued to haunt Allen until he learned to swallow down the blooms even as he fought against the Akuma.

No matter the Akuma’s level or origin story, orange petals always begged to leave his mouth. It made their stay in India more taxing than any other, marigold garlands covering the streets at all times. How strange that a flower that had always represented pain and grief to him was celebrated here so. Allen had met quite a few people suffering from the same ailment as him, though the taste of their hurt was a different one; unrequited love, fear, hopelessness – the number of emotions that could evoke Hanahaki seemed to be as varied as the stars above.

Allen had never known which one Mana had suffered from, but his flowers had also never changed, blooming for the same purpose and person.

He stared down at the abandoned bowl, his arm still aching. He had been so careful that any of the marigolds he brought Narain were not stained by those expelled by his body. But now, covered by the Akuma’s blood, it hardly seemed to matter.

They looked just the same.

Mentha arvensis

Allen’s introduction to the Black Order was chaotic. From his meeting with the angry Japanese Exorcist he absolutely did not want to work with ever thank-you-very-much to the confusing words and touch of the guardian Hevelaska. Komui, his superior, seemed like a fun and kind man, one Allen wouldn’t mind working alongside.

This place truly felt like it could become home if one were to believe Lenalee. Allen even had his own room that was his to do with as he liked, given that he didn’t destroy it. That certainly was an entirely new experience.

Allen hadn’t really had a home in a long while, though, when he was just feverish enough, feeling more like a child than an Exorcist, he would consider his Master’s coat on his shoulders shelter his home.

Not that he’d ever admit that to the man out loud.

“Is there anything else we need to know?” Komui asked, looking over Allen’s file, hopefully not cringing too much over Allen’s handwriting. Just because he had gained dexterity didn’t mean that his handwriting was particularly great. “Your personal data isn’t exactly precise.”

Allen tried to keep his smile in place, but he was well aware that his life had gaps. The entire first half of his childhood was one giant black hole, and as much as Allen sometimes wanted to solve that particular mystery, he was sure he hadn’t forgotten for no reason.

Mana’s memories had been full of empty spaces, and that for a good reason too.

Allen still remembered his screams when his nightmares overwhelmed him, begging for his brother to save him, forgive him, stay by his side eternally.

“I’m sorry,” Allen apologized regardless. “I know my background is not that easy.”

Komui only smiled at him. “Don’t worry, Allen. We care more about your own welfare now than anything else.”

His throat tickled and he desperately wanted to believe Komui, perhaps a bit naively too as his childhood self would condemn, but he tasted mint and knew it was for naught. Komui might care, God, the man had given everything so he could be here with his sister, but that didn’t speak for the entire Order.

“There actually is one more thing,” Allen admitted. “I have grief flowers.”

Komui’s eyes widened, fear and pity flashing through them. “How long?”

“Since General Cross took me in,” Allen said, knowing that for most, that would mean he was as close to death as he could be. “But I have it handled. My Innocence keeps me steady and heals my lungs.”

It was probably not as good of a reassurance as the man was hoping for, but it was all Allen could give. As always, he was lacking.

Lathyrus odoratus

Dealing with Innocence always interfered with his sickness. His own shard kept him healthy enough to continue on even if the number of flowers he’d displaced over the years should have long since killed him.

“What the hell, moyashi?” Kanda shouted as Allen doubled over in front of Lala and Guzol, covering the sand with blood, baby’s breath and sweet peas. Baby’s breath was nothing new given the presence of Innocence. Allen had filled Maria’s casket with it multiple times already, but he knew the sweet peas were for Lala, the sentient doll, and her dearly beloved human, her accommodator.

“Let her sing,” Allen begged through the pain, wheezing, still pathetic and weak. “Let her sing, please.”

And they remained as they were.

Gypsophila paniculate

God’s true apostle was a little girl that made Allen freeze. No matter how much he wanted to fight, to protect the world he had learned to love with his father’s smiles and jokes, he couldn’t anymore, his eye destroyed, bleeding.

Time running out and out and out until—

Rewind.

Miranda’s Innocence, baby’s breaths on his tongue, was as cruel as it was kind, giving Allen more time to fight, to understand, to choke down the marigolds as Road ordered the self-destruction of the Akuma and he watched that screaming soul disintegrate.

He knew there would be a price to pay.

The Noah’s door, a checkered form that seemed so familiar, closed and Allen stumbled back to Miranda’s side. Sweet reassurances were all it took to get her settled, to allow time to return to them.

Allen blacked out with a cough so deep, he thought he was crying at Mana’s grave again.

Papaver nudicaule

Lavi was curious by nature. It was the reason Bookman had picked him in the first place. Their kind needed to be curious, interested in the world, but only ever as its silent observers. Bookman Junior could recite his entire lecture on the topic, the ever repeated ‘know your duties’. Junior knew that he wasn’t Bookman’s first apprentice, and given how much Bookman insisted that Lavi stayed impartial, he knew there was a story to discover, history to inherit someday.

But for now, he had to chat up the Destroyer of Time.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Lavi said with a mild smile. “Yu-chan already told me so much about you!”

Kanda had been unusually chatty, complaining about Allen Walker for minutes, which was as good as ranting for an hour for normal people. Lavi had learned a lot about Allen during that time, mainly his sickness being of interest to Junior. The number of people suffering from Hanahaki was low enough that they had yet to find a proper cure or cause.

There were enough speculations, the church was particularly fond of going on about Eve and Lilith, Eden’s curse, but it was as good an explanation as a shrug and a disinterested ‘I don’t know’.

Although, perhaps, remembering the glass of flowers in his coat pocket, a cure had been found, just not one readily available for the masses.

“Here! Miranda collected them for you. It’s tradition in Germany to save them.”

Lavi handed Allen the glass full of yellow poppies before the youth could protest, waiting to see what his reaction would be. He had already gathered that Allen was used to his sickness, had learned how to live with them.

These flowers should not surprise him.

And yet they did, the boy almost dropping the glass when he saw what was inside.

“Poppies,” Allen breathed, his face twisting into shock, the kind of which Lavi had never seen before. “But they’re Mana’s—”

Mana Walker, the father that had been turned into an Akuma.

Lavi had to hold back a grin.

This was bound to be interesting.

Roseanne giganteus carnivorus

Roots took ahold of Allen’s heart and lungs and he reminded himself repeatedly that Mana loved him, that he had friends now and a home, that he was cared for. His father may have cursed him, but only so Allen would have something to live for so that he’d continue and not plant his roots at his father’s grace and let his body decay to feed the soil.

“I never wondered if Akuma could love,” Allen confessed to Lavi while Krory was still knocked out, head resting against the window of the train. “I thought them incapable of forming positive relationships unless they were modified.”

“Modified?” Lavi echoed, keen eyes, fake smile.

Took a liar to find another.

Eliade had felt something for Krory, even if it might just have been possessiveness, staking her claim on her victim and prey, waiting for the Innocence to get strong enough that its destruction would be interesting.

I love you, Mana’s words rang in his ears.

The flowers settled.

Glaucium flavum

The Exorcist cheated them right out of their money, and if Tyki didn’t feel like there was something familiar about the boy, he would have ripped his Innocence and heart out right there. He’d learned restraint, how to curb Joyd’s hunger. It had been insufferable when he’d still been a child, giving in to pleasure much too quickly.

But the three Exorcists right in front of him were taunt and temptation.

And still, Tyki resisted, especially once he got close enough to that white-haired menace to catch his scent. He’d excused himself after one round, saying he needed to freshen up. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it also wasn’t the truth.

“You smell like flowers, menino,” Tyki commented, watching as the boy quickly wiped blood from his mouth, something yellow disappearing down the drain. “Hanahaki?”

Fraude A flinched, looking like he’d been caught in the act. The cheerful if devious demeanor from before had all but faded away, leaving behind an exhausted teenager. The bags under his eyes were heavy, and the Innocence in his hand must be sucking away at his lifespan as well.

What wouldn’t Tyki give to turn that crystal into dust, play savior for this damned child.

“It’s not contagious,” the boy said immediately, probably thinking that Tyki was one of those fools who avoided flower bearers like the plague.

“I know,” Tyki said. “Don’t worry about it, menino. You seem to be doing as well as you can. I want to ask about your sickness if you don’t mind.”

The boy eyed him suspiciously but nodded.

“The child we have with us, Eeez, he has Hanahaki as well. His family threw him out because they could not afford to care for his health.”

Not that Tyki and his friends could afford his treatment either. Whenever Eeez, Momo, and Clark slept, Noah’s third disciple reached far into the lungs of the boy and ripped out the flowers stealing his breath, drenched his fingers in blood to see the child take another pathetic breath.

“Oh.” Understanding flashed over Fraude’s face. “Which kind?”

“Fear,” Tyki replied and there was so much to fear for weak little human boys in a world as cruel as theirs. “And you?”

“Grief,” the boy said, almost apologetic as if he’d trade his variant for a chance to help Eeez. “And I’m sorry, but I can’t offer you any help. My method of coping won’t work for him.”

Flores de tristeza and an Exorcist, the boy was truly detested by fate.

“I understand.” Oh, he did. That parasite leeching on the boy’s lifespan kept him alive, healed him over and over again so he could keep fulfilling its cursed mission. Tyki wondered what his lungs looked like, whether they were entirely scarred over. “Thank you still, menino.”

Aquilegia atrata

Lenalee was excellent at reading people, even if she couldn’t keep up with Lavi. It was a skill she had learned out of necessity during all her attempts at escaping the Order, searching for weaknesses in her guards, moments where their attention slipped just enough for her to throw herself out of the high towers they kept her in.

No matter how much Allen lied and cheated and smiled, Lenalee could see that it wasn’t true.

And that he was putting too much pressure on himself.

Surrounded by all the Akuma, hunting down Allen’s Master, the fall was inevitable.

Lenalee just hoped she would be there to catch him when it was the time as Komui had been there for her.

Dianthus caryophyllus

Innocence was good and holy.

God’s dearly beloved crystal, sent to save humanity.

Allen had known this deep in his heart, had clung to it when the appearance of his arm had still made him insecure because it gave him purpose. He was not so foolish as to think himself special, one of God’s chosen, but he chose to believe that Innocence mattered.

That it was kind and protected.

“I’m sorry,” Suman Dark apologized under tears he could not cry as Allen kept on screaming, begging him to live and go on, no matter how much the Innocence was eating away at him.

This couldn’t be true; it shouldn’t happen. His own Innocence would never do this to him, had it loved and protected him even against his own father. Yet it was failing him when Allen tried to dig through the violet butterflies, the violent pain. His shoulders trembled terribly as he swallowed down the sharp taste of carnations burning him as much as the artificial insects left nothing of Suman behind.

Cercis siliquastrum

“Fraude A?” Tyki exclaimed, surprised, though he knew he shouldn’t be. He had known that the tristeza boy had been an Exorcist, these plagues liked to flaunt it after all, with their shiny expensive uniforms, and he’d known that they’d eventually clash on the battlefield.

He had just, foolishly perhaps, hoped that it would be a fair battle, one where the boy could give it his all despite his failing, scarred lungs.

Allen Walker.

How pitiful that his name was on Tyki’s list.

“Don’t worry,” Tyki told him. “It doesn’t hurt.”

His words weren’t even a lie, and Tyki knew he could very easily put the boy to rest without him feeling a thing, and yet, he couldn’t help explain his work, act it out, because he wanted to leave his mark on his victim, have Allen Walker grieve flowers for him.

So Tyki crushed his hand, his Innocence, destroyed it with Dark Matter, let the Tease bite into his heart, and left the boy in tears.

Taking his dying breaths, unable to spit any flowers for Tyki. With a grin, he reached deep into the boy’s lung, retrieving judas tree blooms and a silver button.

How sad.

Tyki had hoped for poppies.

Bellis perennis

Allen lay on the ground, his Innocence above him as mist as he struggled for breath. It had never been this bad before. He couldn’t remember a single time where his flowers had been coated in so much blood, he couldn’t tell which kind it was right from the bat.

“You can’t overdo it,” Fo told him, rolling back on her feet almost playfully if not for the severity of the situation. “Your Innocence isn’t healing you anymore.”

I know, Allen wanted to reply. I know, I know, and it is all my fault.

He only wanted to continue on, do as he always had, push through the pain, and fulfill his purpose. Why was it so difficult, why did he struggle so much? Did his Innocence think him a betrayer, nothing worth saving anymore?

Please, he begged into the quiet, his flowers for the first time since he’d started blooming posing a  threat to him. I just want to do my duty.

He grabbed his bloodied flowers with his one good hand and thought about springtime and Mana teaching him how to make daisy chains.

Tagetes lucida

Marigolds were comforting, almost. Allen could feel his throat put itself back together, healing as his body still decided to punish him. He wondered whether the other parasitic Exorcists had felt like this as well, torn between being weapon and host, beloved friend and tool.

He wondered what it might have been like for Maria to be the host of Innocence and spit flowers whenever she needed her throat to sing.

He wondered what her Innocence’s name had been once upon a time before it had become nothing more than Grave of Maria.

(Wondered whether his Master loved him enough to turn him into a doll to be used for battle as Allen would want.

Whether Cross Marian loved him too much to do so.)

“Tell me where my friends are,” Allen ordered and the Akuma complied, truth tasting like marigolds and poppies.

Rosa bracteata: Macartney rose – white rose, typically given to fathers

Flower list

Ornithogalum umbellatum: Star of Bethlehem – atonement for crime, reconciliation, guilt and fear

Calendula officinalis: marigold – pain and grief

Tagetes erecta: marigold

Mentha arvensis: mint – suspicion, lack of trust

Lathyrus odoratus: sweet pea – goodbye, departure

Gypsophila paniculate: baby’s breath – innocence, pure at heart

Papaver nudicaule: poppies

Roseanne giganteus carnivorus: Rosanne from canon

Glaucium flavum: poppies

Aquilegia atrata: purple columbine – driven to win

Dianthus caryophyllus: yellow carnation – disdain, disappointment, rejection

Cercis siliquastrum: judas tree – betrayal, unbelief

Bellis perennis: daisy – innocence, purity, new beginnings

Tagetes lucida: marigold

[jungle321jungle]

Something Worth Stealing: One

“What do you think?”

Truthfully Virgil was terrified at the very prospect. There was a reason each nanny didn't last long, and Virgil had heard enough horror stories about the Ackroyd boys to avoid them at all costs when he had worked in the past. Hell the only reason he still got some to come in now and then was because the job was so high paying. Mr. Ackroyd knew exactly what he was doing advertising with all those zeroes, he was reeling in any nanny who would skip talking to peers at the sight. And now by some twist of fate that very bait was dangling above Virgil, and even worse there wasn’t anyway he could feasibly afford to ignore it. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked the man in the eye, “I think it is more than a generous offer that I would be happy to accept.”

(Virgil becomes the newest nanny for his very attracti- for Logan.)

Taglist: @angels-and-dreams @ollyollyoxinfree @gattonero17 @chumo-cookie @dreaming-always @anxiety-ismy-name @mrbubbajones @janustheliar @why-do-you-care @hogwarts-my-love

Ao3 - Masterlist

One

Virgil bit down on his tongue to keep from screaming out in frustration. He crossed the room briskly once more as he wondered- not for the first time, why was even here. Quite frankly Mr. Ackroyd should have fired him on the spot, so why was he just casually in the man’s office as if nothing was wrong? Was this a test? Leave him in the office full of expensive items to see if he’d be bold enough to try and steal one? That was the only way this would make sense, he was being tested and then if he passed maybe he’d only be fired rather than being sued or jailed. If it wasn’t that then maybe he was going to be made an example of. He’d be told off both here and in front of the rest of the staff later so no one would ever fall to Virgil’s level of stupidity ever again.

Virgil’s pacing slowed to a stop as he forced himself to take a deep breath. Now that he knew the two most likely options for the situation he’d need to practice and edit his apology six- no eight more times before his boss walked in. Mr. Ackroyd didn’t often show much emotion but maybe if Virgil repeated his sorries enough one would get through to the man and he would accept that Virgil had been more than an idiot.

“Virgil.”

The sound of his name sent a shiver up his spine as he jumped in place and turned eyes wide to where Mr. Ackroyd had entered. “Ah- hello sir...”

“Sorry, did not mean to startle you,” the man said simply as he moved to sit behind his desk. “Thank you for coming in early, and do take a seat.”

Virgil’s legs felt like led but he forced them to move forward and in what felt like robotic motions he sat. When he had Mr. Ackroyd spoke, “Now there is something I’d like to speak to you about.”

“I’m so sorry about yesterday!” Virgil blurted. “I should have never even touched your things, much less tried to steal it. I am so so so sorry! If there is any way I can make up for it-”

“While I did want to talk about my watch, and the apology is appreciated I do have a few questions.”

Virgil cut himself off and tried to regain his composure, “O-of course.”

“Why did you take my watch at all?” he asked simply. “You’ve worked here for years and I have never had an issue with you, and yet randomly yesterday you do something as out of character as attempting to steal from me. I assume there must be a catalyst for this behavior? A monetary one perhaps? Or was this just a sudden change in you?”

Virgil’s mouth felt dry as it opened and closed but with a pinch to his own leg he forced himself to function enough to speak. “It was semi spur of the moment- it had never crossed my mind to do something like that ever before!  But it wasn’t me being ungrateful or anything! This job is great I just um, well I- I...” Virgil gave a sigh and let his head hang as his hands balled into fists with frustration at himself, “It-it was money related yeah... things are- are harder right now...”

“How so?”

Virgil took a deep breath trying to steel himself best he could before he spoke, his gaze on his boss’ desk rather than the man’s face. “My half sister has a kid, and she’s stuck in a really bad situation and needed her son out of it. So... so I took him in. And well great kid as he is, I’ve never had to pay for this much before. I truly am sorry.”

“And so you teach him to steal?”

“I’m sorry.”

The silence which covered the room was heavy, only broken by the sound of Mr. Ackroyd’s finger tapping on his desk which managed to increase Virgil’s heart rate more and more. But when the sound stopped entirely, Virgil couldn’t help but bring himself to look upon Mr. Ackroyd’s face. “Virgil I trust you understand I cannot have someone who steals from me cleaning my home.”

Virgil’s heart, his lungs, and everything else plummeted to his stomach with those words, and then they proceeded to keep falling until they landed at his feet, leaving Virgil with only an empty and hollow feeling. “I understand,” he replied quietly.

“As such I suppose it is a good thing that no one outside of this room knows what you have done.”

“Sir?” Virgil asked, he wouldn’t get his hopes up yet.

“I think I have a solution to both of our problems Virgil, that is if you never even consider stealing from me again.”

“Never,” Virgil said quickly.

Mr. Ackroyd gave a nod. “On your end I assume a bulk of what you make goes to different forms of child care given your early mornings at your other job and late nights here?”

When had he even mentioned to the man having a second job? “Y-yes, I pay for both before and after school.”

“I assume you have heard that my newest nanny quit?”

Virgil gave a slow and confused nod as he tried to get a read on that unchanged face, “Yes.”

“They come and go quickly,” he sighed, “My older two can be a tad unruly. But if you would like to alleviate your childcare costs and work one job rather than two, then you can become my nanny. And while caring for my boys you can also watch over your nephew. Oh and of course the salary is more than enough. What do you think?”

Truthfully Virgil was terrified at the very prospect. There was a reason each nanny didn't last long, and Virgil had heard enough horror stories about the Ackroyd boys to avoid them at all costs when he had worked in the past. Hell the only reason he still got some to come in now and then was because the job was so high paying. Mr. Ackroyd knew exactly what he was doing advertising with all those zeroes, he was reeling in any nanny who would skip talking to peers at the sight. And now by some twist of fate that very bait was dangling above Virgil, and even worse there wasn’t anyway he could feasibly afford to ignore it. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked the man in the eye, “I think it is more than a generous offer that I would be happy to accept.”

Mr. Ackryod gave a slight yet pleased smile, “Then I will see both you and your nephew here early Monday morning.”

“Y-yes sir.”

The large mansion seemed to loom over Virgil in a way it never had before, and yet all he could do was climb out his car and resist the urge to puke. There was just too much riding on a job which seemed destined to end in pitiful failure. He had been forced to quit his job at the cafe so suddenly too (not that he held any joy for that job), but if this went south quickly he had no fall back. Maybe he should start looking for new jobs when he gets home just in case?

“How long are we gonna stand here?” Janus yawned beside him.

“We’re going in now,” Virgil told him moving forward towards the door. And then before he could falter more he inserted the key he had been given in the lock and stepped in the entryway, to lock eyes with Mr. Ackroyd.

The man glanced up from the laptop in his hands before he shut it, “Twelve minutes early.”

“Good morning sir,” Virgil started awkwardly trying to resist the urge to ask how long his boss had been standing there waiting. “This is my nephew Janus. Janus, this is Mr. Ackroyd.”

“Hi,” Janus waved. “Do you have orange juice?”

“Janus.” Virgil cut in immediately, but Mr. Ackroyd gave a chuckle.

“My boys drank the last of it with breakfast. Would you like apple instead?”

“Yes please!”

He gave a nod, “Then let's get you your juice. Virgil, the twins are in their rooms, hopefully getting dressed. I’d like you to start by getting them and Patton together and then you can bring them all to school. As for how the rest of the day will go, simply return here and care for Patton and then pick the boys up from school in the afternoon. Have them do their homework until dinner, I should be back around then. As for the general both daily and weekly schedules I have shared the Outlook calendar with you so you may review it later today. Understood?”

Virgil hoped how intimidated he felt didn't show on his face. “Yes sir.”

“Then get moving.”

Virgil didn't hesitate to hurry up the stairs and head in the direction he knew, but it was the sound of laughter which drew him to one room in particular, and after a deep breath, he knocked.

“Come in!”

Upon entering Virgil knew he should’ve just looked for another job.

The room was virtually destroyed and the culprits were in the midst. The younger of the twins, Remus, was jumping on the bed swinging about a pillow and letting its tiny feathers fly around and coat the floor. Roman meanwhile spun himself and the baby around in the falling feathers causing Patton to cackle with delight. But the older two looked his way as he entered.

“Hi Virgil!” Remus yelled. “Dad said you’re our new nanny!”

“Yeah...” Virgil said slowly, still recovering from the shock. “He also says you two need to get dressed for school.”

“In a sec!” Roman replied, raising Patton over his head.

“No, now,” Virgil tried stepping into the room. “You’re going to be late if not.”

The twins paused each watching him for a moment, before they looked at each other then back to Virgil once more. “We don’t wanna go to school,” Remus said finally.

Roman nodded in agreement, “We’re gonna be homeschooled now.”

“No you’re not. Your dad said-”

“Hey Virgil, why aren't you a housekeeper anymore?” Remus asked, hopping off the bed. “I liked when you cleaned my room, I don't lose things when you clean it.”

“T-things change,” Virgil replied awkwardly. “But where are your clothes?”

Remus gave a vague gesture towards the closet, “I don't need clothes to be homeschooled. I can do it in my PJs.”

Virgil bit his tongue as he watched the two, but slowly an idea formed in his mind. “Do either of you know how homeschooling even works?”

“Yup. You get to do worksheets and hang out,” Roman answered. “We can do them while we watch TV.”

“Not exactly. We would do lectures and then worksheets for every class probably in the library all day. Given I’m not a teacher it would take longer to go over everything so the only break would be lunch. We also wouldn't have time for watching TV or for recess, and of course you can’t see your friends.”

Roman gave an awkward cough as he shoved Patton into Virgil’s arms. “Well I guess we’ll have to go to school until you learn how to teach.”

Virgil held in a sigh of relief as the two began the motions of getting ready which let him dress the Patton. But by the time he had gotten Patton to keep on his socks rather than throw them away he had heard shouting from downstairs. So with no other option he picked up the baby and followed the sound, but his anxiety grew as he heard Janus’ voice.

“Take it back!” Janus’ voice shouted and suddenly Virgil was moving much quicker.

“You first!” Roman yelled back.

“You!”

“You!”

That was the last clear word Virgil could make out, but then again words weren’t needed to explain anything when he walked in to find his nephew on top of Roman grabbing the other boy’s face. A curse escaped his mouth as he hurried forward pulling Janus away by the collar only for Roman to jump up and lunge after. He tried to position himself before the two feuding children and to think of a better solution, but with Patton having grabbed a fistful of his hair, and Remus chanting behind him for Janus to win it was kind of hard to focus on anything.

“I believe my instructions were to introduce yourselves.”

Mr. Ackroyd’s cool voice cut through the room’s chaos in an instant sending ice through Virgil’s veins. He hadn’t even managed to be a nanny for an hour and now he would be fired. He’d probably set the record.

“Are you leaving?” Remus asked like nothing was wrong.

Mr. Ackroyd studied the room for a moment before he moved closer to Roman and bent down. Taking his son’s face in his hands. “I am. But more importantly, Roman I see no reason to continue to pay for you to take karate if you get hit in the face.”

“It's his fault not mine!” Roman said at the same time Remus unhelpfully added,

“I didn’t get hit! And Sensei said I can get a new belt soon.”

“Flying up the ranks are you?” Mr. Ackroyd smiled at him as he stood and moved over to Janus and squatted down to the boy’s height. “Can you tell me why you hit Roman?”

As Virgil released his nephew’s collar, Janus moved a step behind Virgil before he answered the question, “He... he said my name was an old lady’s.”

The man gave a hum, “I see. Now while that was a mean thing for him to say, using your fists won't fix the issue. You need to use your words, okay?”

Janus gave a nod, “Okay... sorry.”

“Not to him,” Virgil put in. “And you need to say what for.”

Janus gave a frown but even so he turned to Roman, “Sorry for hitting you.”

“Roman?”

The older twin crossed his arms and looked anywhere but at Janus’ face, “S...sorry for making fun of your name.”

“Good,” Mr. Ackroyd nodded. “Now give me a hug so I can go to work. And Virgil before you leave, be sure to grab Roman an ice pack.”

Virgil gave a nod of bewilderment and disbelief, “Yes sir.”

While Roman and Janus didn’t seem to get along from the outset, somehow not long after getting in the car, Remus and Janus had decided they were now some of the closest friends. Not that Virgil would complain of course, if they were getting along that was good for him, even if Roman sat in a moody silence for a while. But said silence broke when Janus had been dropped off. It wasn’t ten seconds after the driver had pulled off that he spoke to his twin, “Why’d you take his side?”

Virgil looked behind him at the sound of Roman’s voice in time for Remus to give a shrug. “He’s fun.”

“He hit me!”

“And that was your fault.”

Virgil was about to let them bicker and talk things out amongst themselves when Remus’ appearance caught his eye. “Remus that’s not your uniform tie.”

Remus nodded in agreement, “It’s fish shaped.”

“I can see that, but you’re supposed to wear the one that goes with your uniform.”

“That one is boring.” He looked between Virgil and the strange tie (why did kids even need to wear ties?). “Do you not like it?”

“It’s certainly... different. But I think you should wear the other one.”

“But I wanna show my friends this one.”

“Then you can take it out when you get to school. For now please change it.”

Remus gave a groan and sunk in his seat, but ultimately the nine year old did as he was told.

~~~

After the chaotic start to the morning, the mansion seemed so quiet and calm when Virgil returned. He half expected chaos to descend as the time wore on, but caring for Patton wasn't as hard as he had anticipated. The ten month old was not only adorable but he was pretty good in the sense that he didn’t really seem to cry or complain. He simply played with his little toys and babbled at Virgil (who took multiple pictures and videos to send to Mr. Ackroyd). He had been nervous at first. His only experience having taken care of a baby being those off times his sister had dropped Janus off for a night. But he had made it through the day without anything going wrong. So of course it did in the car.

He and the driver had gone and picked up Janus without issue. He had climbed in the car and instantly began talking about his day in the loudest voice he dared so not to wake Patton. It all seemed fine, until they picked up the twins.

“All day all I got were people asking me what happened to my eye!” Roman whined. “And it’s your fault!”

Janus gave him a bored look as he gestured to the scar on his face, “You get used to it.”

If the shouting which ensued was any clue, Roman didn’t care for Janus’ statement. Virgil was half turned around in the front seat as he tried to beg them to quiet down, but it was too late as Patton woke up, bursting into tears as he did. Not that the older three children seemed to notice. They carried on yelling at one another and reaching across the seats to grab a hold of one another.

“That’s enough!” Virgil interjected. “You two need to-”

“I need to kick him!” Roman interrupted.

Janus stuck out his tongue in reply, “And then I’ll kick you back three times as hard!”

“Oh yeah? Then I'll punch you!”

“I’ll just-”

“Shut up!” The harsh and loud words were out of Virgil’s mouth before he could stop them but he certainly didn’t regret it. “Roman,” he started firmly. “You will get along with Janus. And Janus you will get along with-”

“But he-”

“I don't care and I don’t want to hear it! I’m not asking for your opinions, I'm telling you what’s going to happen. The three of you are going to get along without fighting and arguing how starting right now. This pointlessness has already cost you all your electronic privileges for the evening, and if it continues more things will be taken away.” He paused and looked in each of their eyes before he spoke again. “Is that clear?”

Three identical looks of confusion and surprise stared at Virgil before each of the boys mumbled an agreement and after some probing an apology too. When they had Virgil gave a satisfied nod, “Roman calm Patton.”

“Where do you two usually do your homework?” Virgil asked after the twins had changed.

“Wherever we want,” Remus shrugged. “Can we do it in-”

“You can do it in the library,” Virgil decided for them. “Do you all have lots of homework?”

“Lots of reading,” Roman groaned as they walked. “And the book is bad!”

“Then read it quickly.”

“That’s not how it works!”

“Are you sure?”

“Uncle Virgil will you help with my fractions again?” Janus asked him. “I still don’t get it. I don’t like it either.”

Virgil gave a slight smile as he ruffled Janus’ hair. “Of course I’ll help.”

Homework time went surprisingly well. It seemed since Virgil’s outburst in the car the boys were trying to be on their best behavior. But he wouldn’t complain about that. Instead he gave the boys help on anything they needed while he ate crackers and bounced Patton in his lap.

“This is the quietest I think homework time has ever been.”

At the sound of his voice everyone turned to see Mr. Ackroyd. There was a pause before Roman was out of his seat and hurrying to give his father a hug. “You’re home early!”

“I am,” he smiled hugging his son. “My meeting was moved until tomorrow. So I’m here early.” When Roman didn’t release him, he awkwardly maneuvered to the table to pull Remus in for a hug as well. “How were they?” He directed at Virgil.

Virgil paused, “They were... they were good. Especially Patton.”

Mr. Ackroyd gave a laugh as his boys released him and he reached for the baby. “For some reason, I wasn’t particularly concerned about him.”

“How were they, really ?” Mr. Ackroyd asked as he walked Janus and Virgil to the door.

Virgil gave a slight smile, “Well today was certainly chaotic , but I managed. It took me losing my temper though.”

“And that’s fine. I find my previous nannies were afraid to be stern with the boys. In one day you have found that doesn’t work. As such you have already exceeded my expectations.”

“Um, thank you sir.”

He nodded once, “Tomorrow we can talk in more detail for now enjoy your evening.”

“You too. See you tomorrow sir.”

“Logan,” he said simply. “We’ll be working closer together now.”

“Oh, um are you sure?”

“I’m the one who suggested it.”

Virgil looked down slightly in embarrassment, “Right. Um okay.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Oh, and you may call me by my name too Janus.”

Janus gave a smile and wave as they walked out, “Bye Logan!”

~~~~

One - Two

[sweetsubharry]

hi! do you have any fic recs of like really fluffy one shots

Hiya!! yes I do!! Aren’t they just the best sometimes?? Sorry this took me a few days to do! I had over 260 fics to go through on ao3 just under fluff (I really need to tidy my bookmarks!)  💖 There’s 79 in this list so it’s a long one!! ^-^

please stay safe and read the tags everyone! :)

freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this by rosesau

Harry (not so) secretly crushes on the cute footie player and fills pages with sketches of him.

Thunder started it by booloveshiscuppycake

Harry's always been scared of thunder storms. But louis' always been there to comfort him. Friendship and comfort turn into love. (Fluffy as shit)

but he cant be what you need (if he's eighteen) by lingerielarries

“I need you to do something for me.” Harry said, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger.

“It seems like you’re asking me to kill for you, H.” Louis laughed nervously.

“It’s nothing that drastic, I promise. It’s just. I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m not a.. normal eighteen year old.” Louis furrowed his eyebrows at that, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy.

“Are people giving you a hard time?” Louis wondered. Harry shifted in his seat and brushed some of his fringe off his forehead.

“Yeah, that’s. That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Harry swallowed nervously. He could feel the sweat pooling at his hairline so he wiped it with the sleeve of his sweater. “I need you to uhm, pretend to be my boyfriend.”

or

the one where harry is sick of getting bullied and casts louis as the hot punk boyfriend to scare them away. louis needs harry to return the favor.

punk!louis and flowerchild!harry

the love is ours to make (so we should make it) by lingerielarries

“I’m.. Harry. I nanny? For Ernest and Doris?” Harry responded.

“A nanny? How old even are you? You look twelve.” Louis remarked. Something caught Louis’ eye, and a closer look revealed that Harry had a coat of pink nail polish on his fingers.

“Nineteen. I’m nineteen.” Harry replied.

“Right. Nineteen, wears pink, flower crowns and paints his nails. Who the actual fuck did my mum hire?”

or

the one where louis takes some time off from life to return home, only to be met with a strange boy in pink and a flowercrown as the nanny of his siblings.

All I See is You by ElegantSurrender

Even with the blood gushing from his nose, he couldn’t keep his thoughts on anything but the boy in front of him. He was just so… pretty. He smiled to himself, which only seemed to worry his boyfriend more.

“Why’re you smiling?” Louis asked confusedly, moving Harry’s bloody hand away, and replacing it with his, pinching his nose shut with a tissue. “You’re bleeding, and you’re fucking smiling.”

“Seeing you makes me happy.”

(or the one where Harry has a bloody nose and Louis takes care of him, and Harry really really loves Louis)

Pretty Blue Eyes (I don't care about the nightmares) by justgotowisharder

Harry has nightmares, Louis hates sharing the bed, they end up talking about dreams, they read Freud and they fall in love in the process.

Breathe by dontlietomehoney

Harry has an asthma attack and Louis is scared to death. What follows after though, scares both boys, pulling them apart and bringing them together.

with your love we could breathe underwater by luminescents

Harry’s brow furrows, a look of confusion spreading over his face. “But I am real. I exist, see,” he says, raising a hand out of the water and wiggling his fingers at Louis.

Louis finds himself relaxing a bit. Harry seems harmless really. And he’s quite cute, for something that’s not supposed to exist. If Louis is indeed having a hallucination right now, at least it’s a cute one.

AU where Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a human, and they both discover a lot more than they anticipated.

yes, you make my life worthwhile by orphan_account

Harry whispers to him that this feels like every dream he’s had for the last three years and Louis kisses his temple, behind his ear, across his cheeks and by the edge of his jaw. He runs the back of his finger across Winnie’s sleep-warm cheeks and sighs, the weight of the world finally off his shoulder.

Louis' a pediatrician, Harry's a preschooler teacher, and they're having a baby.

Weigh Us Down (We're In Love) by orphan_account

Harry’s eyes widen slightly at that. “We’re friends?”

Louis nods eagerly, smiling even wider. “Of course we are! You’re like, my first ever friend here. We just moved in, you see. Did I already tell you about that? Anyway! Maybe you can stay for dinner and I can show you my toys?”

Harry smiles. “You’ll let me play with you?”

Louis nods again, excited. “Of course!” He looks thoughtful for a moment, and then he’s slipping off the couch and crouching in front of Harry. “Oh, and Mum always kisses my wounds after she fixes them up. It makes me feel loads better all the time, so.” He leans forward and puckers his lips, pressing them over the bandage on Harry’s knee.

(harry and louis first meet when they’re eight and ten. this is their story throughout the years.)

Breathe by Jade_eyed

Can you write a Larry high school AU where Harry's a sophomore and Louis' his senior boyfriend and Harry's being bullied during class and has a panic attack and all he's saying is 'Louis' so someone goes into louis' classroom and gets him and louis' like freaking out when he finds out and just really fluffy and stuff i just need this okay

[ I changed it a bit , I'm sorry babe I tried. :( ]

Cause If You Let Me, Here's What I'll Do by stylesforstiles

Five times where Harry is Louis' baby

Zero Means Nothing When I'm With You by StripedAndBowtied

Louis doesn't know what he's looking for until he finds it.

Harry just knows he may defy his gender norms, with his height and clumsiness, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want litters of pups running around while he does domestic things all day long.

In other words, boy meets boy and no one can stop pining.

All my senses come to life by erikaeurekajoe

And it was true. Harry's senses were all coming to life, on overdrive in fact because a handsome blue-eyed stranger was holding his hands.

Because of Louis Tomlinson's Arse by AggressiveStress

One in which Harry is a clumsy Uni student that first sees Louis leaning over, picking up his things with his arse very prominent. Harry then falls down the stairs and Louis- wearing a nice little beanie- helps him back to his feet.

In All Its Imperfections by BriaMaria

From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients

Hello!

I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours!

Cheers!

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.”

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head.

"What happened, mate?" Liam asked.

Harry just pointed to his computer.

Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?”

“Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.”

“Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?”

Harry nodded.

There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?”

Delirious in Love by yourpricelessadvice (orphan_account)

Louis is there for Harry waking up from minor surgery; he wouldn't miss it for the world. For two reasons.

Stars Will Align For Us by 2tiedships2

"The serial monogamist is single," Niall said by way of introduction when he sat down across from Harry in the canteen.

Harry sipped his chocolate milk. "What are you going on about?"

"Your alpha dream boat," Niall said. "That tiny little footie player? I heard from Hannah that he's broken it off with his boyfriend so he’s single and ready to flamingle. Now's the time to make your move."

Harry sipped his chocolate milk harder to keep himself from replying.

Or the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.

(twenty minutes later) wound up in the hospital by callmelover

“Baby, I think a quick trip to A&E might do you some good, hm?” Louis keeps his voice as calm as possible. He doesn't want to startle Harry or make him scared, but he knows that Harry’s fever is too high and he can't risk Harry choking himself into another attack when he's so poorly.

He hears a sharp intake of breath come for Harry and he knows Harry is starting to panic. Louis moves his hand from Harry's hair to his back, rubbing circles into his sweat-soaked shirt.

“No, no. Shh, don't worry, darling. Everything is okay, you’ll be okay. I just know that the doctors will be able to make you feel much better much sooner than I can...Just want you to get healthy as soon as possible, okay?”

-

or the one where harry has the flu and louis is a protective, nervous-wreck of a boyfriend

You live in my heart by styleztomlinson

As soon as they’re done with their set, Louis only has one thing on his mind and that’s to get out of there as soon as possible.or,Harry is sick during their performance at the iHeartRadio festival. Afterwards, Louis takes cares of his baby, and dotes on his husband.

Take Care by secretlylarry

Louis really does love to take care of Harry when he's sick.

if we got nothing, we got us by tumsa

Harry is Louis' baby and he's sick as well.

Peppermint and Lavender (and Coffee) by 2tiedships2

“He was there again,” Louis announced by way of greeting. “Lottie was right and she can never know.”

"What the fuck are you talking about?” Niall asked as he snapped his laptop closed.

“The omega, Niall. He was there today. Just sitting in the corner looking pretty. Or at least his back is. He hasn’t turned around when I’m available to see. I know he’s beautiful though.”

"Okay?” Niall questioned. “What does that have to do with Lottie?”

Louis let out a huff. "She told me I shouldn’t work at a coffee shop. She was right.”

Or the one where Louis might have met the love of his life in a coffee shop. But that’s not how it’s supposed to happen.

So Long I've Been Waiting by kikikryslee

Niall held up his glass in a toast. “Cheers.” Harry stared at Louis as he brought the glass up to his lips, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t like he could refuse the drink, but he certainly didn’t want to have any champagne. Louis monitored everyone else, and as soon as they all had their heads tilted back, drinking their mimosa, he reached out and knocked Harry’s glass right out of his hand, sending it crashing to the floor. “Oh, no!” Louis pretended to be shocked at what had just happened. “Harry, you’re so clumsy. You dropped your glass.” “Yes,” Harry said seriously. “I am very clumsy.” --- Or, the one where Harry and Louis are having their first baby, and keeping it a secret until the end of the first trimester is a lot harder than they thought it would be.

Nothing's Gonna Stop Me But Divine Intervention by kikikryslee

“So… what’s next on the soul mate search?” Louis asked. “I don’t know,” Harry answered. “Whatever I’m doing isn’t working. I’m not finding him anywhere.” “He’ll get here. I know it." “Yeah. I know he’s out there somewhere; I just have to figure out where.” --- Or, the soul mate AU where Harry overthinks everything having to do with finding the love of his life, and Louis doesn't think there's a Mr. Right for him at all. It takes them a while to realize that their soul mate is the person they want it to be: each other.

We Made These Memories for Ourselves by supernope

Breath held, Harry squints his eyes open and focuses on the first stick. A blue line. Harry breathes out an unsteady breath. He’s pretty sure he read that one blue line is a negative, but he fishes the box from the bottom of the pile just to make sure.

“Negative,” he confirms, voice echoing around the small room. “Next.”

Now that he’s feeling a little less shaky, he scans the rest of the tests at once, is met with a headache-inducing mixture of pink plus signs and blue double lines. His heart rate picks up until it’s pounding triple-time in the base of his throat and the pit of his stomach, thundering in his ears and throbbing in his temples. He flips over the rest of the boxes slowly, but he knows what they’re going to say before he even looks.

[or, Louis is a footballer, Harry owns a bakery, and they're having a baby.]

taken by the wind by scrunchyharry

When he decided to move to London with his sister, Harry thought he would finally get to learn how to control his magic. He couldn't possibly have predicted that he would fall for her neighbour.

Or the one where Harry is a clumsy witch and Louis is making everything worse just by existing.

Piece by Piece by SadaVeniren

He rubbed his hand over his lower stomach and closed his eyes. Louis was going to lose his fucking mind.

(aka Harry tells Louis he's pregnant and it goes as expected)

And We Linger On by stylesforstiles

Harry is pouting. Louis takes care of him

There's a Hole In My Soul, Can You Fill It? by stylesforstiles

Sometimes Harry is so tired. Louis always wants to fix it.

one glance and the avalanche drops by Wankerville

It's strange, honestly, having someone so gorgeous in his kitchen, and not only physically gorgeous, but, like, the everything else gorgeous. The type of gorgeous that Louis wants his life to always be covered in. The type of gorgeous he wants lying in sweatpants and an old t-shirt on his couch when he gets home from class. The type of gorgeous he wants to have shoving crisps down the front of his shirt. The type of goddamn gorgeous he wants to kiss, and coddle, and like, love.

Which is ridiculous- he doesn't know him. Pfft.

(or an au wherein louis buys a christmas tree and harry is the boy in leggings who delivers it. they are a christmas classic.)

Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry

It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?

The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.

Right Here Waiting by lovelarry10

Louis and Harry are expecting a baby. Harry's heavily pregnant and nesting madly, determined to make their home ready for their baby.

Blow Out the Candles, Baby by iwillpaintasongforlou

Louis' been planning Harry's 20th birthday party for weeks, and Harry's too sick to move. Louis might be the kind of sap who tries to nurse him back to health with cuddles and jokes and cupcakes for two.

Never Let You Fall by iwillpaintasongforlou

Harry slips on stage and gets a minor concussion, and Louis insists that he spend the night in the hospital just in case. He then turns into a protective baby lion because that is his Harry and he'll be damned if anything happens to him on Louis' watch. Harry rolls his eyes a lot but doesn't really mind.

Asthma and Bad Jokes by Larry_Klaine_Stylinson

When Harry has an asthma attack on stage, Louis has to go and help him. He leaves Niall in charge of keeping the audience entertained.

All I Need is Oxygen (and You) by lululawrence

There are only two ways to navigate Bloomfield High School: become popular or make yourself invisible.

With the help of his best mate Niall, Harry’s introduction to high school hadn’t been half bad. Despite being a “bandie” – the lowest of the low in the ancient hierarchy of high school –Harry had somehow managed to survive freshman year relatively unscathed. So naturally, Harry would have been perfectly happy to resume his position of invisible trombone player number four for the remainder of high school. But one day something drastic happened, something that would change the course of Harry’s entire existence (probably).

It was the last football game of his freshman year, and the band was back in the stands after performing a rousing rendition of Bloomfield’s alma mater during half time. Harry was gracelessly wiping the slobber from the mouthpiece of his trombone when he saw him.

Louis Tomlinson.

Or...a High School AU where Harry is a bandie and Louis is the epitome of cool, so naturally, Harry must find a way to get his attention and win his affections.

i’d burn this city down to show you the light by you_explode

Harry's a sheltered rich kid and Louis's a punk with a heart of gold. They meet when Louis breaks into Harry's house, Harry obtains an instant and all-encompassing crush, and they spend the summer falling into a whirlwind romance.

put your head on my shoulder by wayfared

Niall gives Harry until the end of marching season to either a) make a move on Louis Tomlinson or b) get the fuck over him. Either is easier said than done. Basically, your High School AU with a drum beat.

we should get jerseys, 'cause we make a good team by ellisaco

Harry's not very good at football, but he's aces at cheering Louis on.

Snow by hlftanna

Louis hid something from him. Harry was 100% sure of that. He knew him better than he knew himself. And. He. Hid. Something. From. Him. Harry just hasn't figured out what. Because if Louis wanted to hide something from anyone he usually succeeded because he was Louis Tomlinson.

Use Your Words by zedi

based off this prompt: collage au where jock!harry always serenades flowercrown!louis with love songs in their music class. what nobody knows is that harry actually kinda means the words he sings.

But instead it's Louis as the jock and Harry as the flowerchild because I do what I want.

see the truth (it's me for you) by orphan_account

If you asked Louis the first day of his French Literature class what he’d be doing on the last, he’d probably never have guessed it would involve helping a poorly Harry Styles study for the final exam. Good thing he’s not a betting man.

(Or the one where Louis and Harry spend an entire semester ignoring each other after a one-night stand, only to come face to face when Harry manages to catch the stomach flu during finals week. Sometimes fate is funny like that.)

calling out for somebody to hold tonight by heartinsidemine

“Dunno why I can’t sleep,” is the first thing Harry says into the still, quiet night.

“New flat, new noises,” Louis murmurs, finally setting the kettle on the stove and turning properly toward him. “New responsibilities, too, eh? Second year, you’re working your way up in the world.”

Harry rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Nothing’s really new, though, is it? I mean, the location, but… I’ve got the same job I had last year, same basic courses, same workload…” He sighs out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You and me are in the same boat, though,” Louis murmurs to him. He hates seeing Harry like this, even though rationally he knows that he can’t do anything about Harry’s insomnia. “Finding it difficult to sleep myself. Was gonna turn on the telly, maybe the cooking channel until I fall asleep. Care to join me?”

He doesn’t think twice about the offer before making it; it only makes sense. They’re both exhausted and they both sleep better with a cuddle, and anyway Louis would absolutely rather have a conversation partner than only the walls of his room for company.

Running Down To The Riptide by sweaterpawstyles

"I can't give you your present yet, Lou."

Louis furrowed his brows. "And why is that, my love?"

Harry smiled at his lap. "Because your present is under my sweater," he pulled his free hand that wasn't laced with Louis' and gently laid it on his stomach. "I'm pregnant."

Or

It's New Year's Eve and Harry has a surprise under his sweater

Song For The Springtime by sunshiner

“Cherry blossoms,” Harry mumbles. “The solution’s cherry blossoms.”

Uni AU.

the happiest place in our universe by tippytoetomlinstyles

Harry holds Louis’ hand and looks around at all the exciting and beautiful things and Louis looks at him because he finds him the most beautiful and exciting thing there is.

or the one where Louis takes Harry to Disneyland and Harry convinces Louis to wear Mickey Mouse ears to match his Minnie Mouse ears.

Made From Love by lovelarry10

It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.

Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.

Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...

Another Constellation to Trace by screwstyles

Louis wiggles his eyebrows. “I’m winning that bet.”

“What bet?” comes Niall’s excited voice from behind them, followed by footsteps. “I wanna be in on the bet!” he shouts, prompting Harry to quickly roll down his shirt sleeve and straighten his shirt where it’s still crinkly after Louis’ hands.

Niall takes one look at them and purses his lips in a tight line. “Were you guys making out again? Isn’t the fire meant to die down a bit after eight years?”

“Trust me, the fire is still very much alive,” Louis winks at Harry. “One could even say it’s cooking something.”

-

Mpreg AU: Louis and Harry bet on who can keep Harry's pregnancy a secret for longer. Neither of them is particularly good at it, and it doesn't help that their soulmate tattoos make it even harder.

another pair of feet by honey_beeing

where Harry is pregnant and Louis is an oblivious idiot.

We Were Made to Love by supernope  

“Everything all sorted? Need help with the buckles? I know they’re a bit tricky in this compartment.”

The voice startles Louis out of his daze, and he turns toward the voice to let him know he figured it out. When he catches sight of the owner of the voice, though, his response dies in his throat. Whatever he had imagined the conductor of a children’s train that rides around the shopping centre in Leeds would look like, this is certainly not it.

Leaning through the window, arms folded across the sill, is a green-eyed angel with cherry red lips stretched wide in a smile and dimples flirting in his cheeks. A black conductor’s hat is the only confirmation that this is not some gorgeous stranger who’s come to flirt with Louis through the window of a children’s train, but is just a man doing his job.

[or, Harry drives a kiddie train in the shopping centre for the summer and is obsessed with babies, and Louis never stood a chance.]

here comes the sun by orphan_account

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Louis promises, his pink, chapped lips moving slowly in the cold. It matches the beanie on his head—pink, because they found out this morning that they’re having a girl and that’s just.

Harry’s going to be a dad. To a little girl. Five months from now he’ll be holding her in his arms, and she’ll be so lovely and small.

They’re going to have a spring baby and she’s probably going to have Louis’ eyes. What a blessing that would be. Harry crosses his fingers on the hand inside his pocket, hoping that she does. He’ll love her either way—blue or green or even brown eyes, it doesn’t matter—but he’d really like them to be blue, he thinks.

[Harry is a pediatric specialist, Louis is a neurosurgeon. All they want is a baby.]

So Put Your Hands In (The Holes of My Sweater) by Kat_rawr

“Are you gonna kiss me then?” He asks so quiet he isn’t even sure Louis heard him.

“I think it’s bad luck if I don’t.“ Louis’ breath is hot on Harry’s skin in the cold air. They stand in the dark; Louis’ face only lit up by the yellow-ish light from the street light a few metres away. The light over the door of their building hasn’t worked in years.

“Okay,” Harry says, and of course his cheeks heat up. There are definitely butterflies in stomach and his mouth is definitely dry.

or,

Harry and Louis go on a lot of not-dates

A Little Kind of Magic by Star55

A tiny tale of Louis' Very Important Birthday and Christmas at Hogwarts that Harry loves celebrating with his best friend whom he absolutely is not in love with. No matter what Niall says. (He's a little in love with Louis.)

it tastes like you, only sweeter by EmmyLouWho

Sometimes Harry hates being a second year, like when all his older friends get to go to Hogsmeade and he has to stay behind in the castle. Luckily, Harry has a Louis to make everything better.

For the prompt: “I’m not allowed to go to Hogsmeade but you always tell me stories about it and bring me candy from Honeydukes”

Sun-Dappled by QuickedWeen

Louis and his best friend Harry are in their seventh year at Hogwarts, facing down their future together. Louis has been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember, and he begins to feel a sense of urgency as the second semester begins. Finally he hatches a plan to tell Harry about his feelings on Harry's birthday.

Sweet Like Sunshine by orphan_account

When Louis saves him from some seventh years bullying him on his lack of Quidditch skills, Harry takes offense. Louis offers to teach him to make up for it. They fall in love somewhere along the way.

Featuring one exasperated Niall, trips to Hogsmede and many flying sessions.

Follow Me Down This Time by supernope

Harry first noticed Louis in his second term at Hogwarts, and despite three years of inventing ways to stumble across Louis, he's never managed to actually work up the courage to speak to him. Also known as, self-indulgent Hogwarts AU, because every fandom needs Hogwarts AUs.

For Reasons Wretched and Divine by panicmoonwalk

Niall’s head was sitting in the fireplace, wide grin lighting up his features as flames licked the bright tips of his hair. Louis promptly dropped his tray at the sight.

“Bloody hell!” He yelled, half at the sudden appearance of Niall in the fire and half at the scalding cocoa he’d just dropped on his bare foot. “What are you doing?!”

Niall just continued to grin, clearly highly amused by Louis hopping on one foot and desperately trying to search for a weapon he could use to beat his friend’s head out of the fireplace.

“Well,” Niall began. “We’re going on an adventure!”

Or, the one where Louis and Harry’s Christmas holiday at Hogwarts is rudely interrupted when they’re dragged off on a tropical wizard’s vacation, featuring some angry centaurs, a spell gone wrong, and the ‘weirdest birthday anyone’s ever had. Ever’.

Loving with a Little Twist by hrrytomlinson

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know Niall! I just promised my mother I’m bringing my boyfriend - a boyfriend I don’t have - to Thanksgiving dinner. What should I do? I can’t call back and be like, ‘Oh yeah mom, that boyfriend I said that I have, I don’t actually have. Sorry to disappoint you.’ My life is ruined.” Harry returns to suffocating himself with the pillow.

Niall laughs and Harry growls at his best friend’s unwarranted happiness in this life-ending situation. Harry is fucked. Fuck. He needs a boyfriend. Fuck.

(or a thanksgiving themed fake/pretend relationship au)

everywhere (i wanna be with you) by itiswhatitisbutterfly

Harry and Louis meet because they have terrible friends, they fall in love because something feels right in a world of uncertainty and shifting grounds. Louis is an actor and Harry is a model at the top of his game, the best things in life are the most unexpected ones and the things that hit you when you are least expecting it.

Featuring winter in London, nights in Paris, early mornings in New York, burning heat in Monte Carlo and an enduring love spent transcending four corners of the globe.

on a wednesday, in a cafe by wreckedboyfriends

“What can I get for you today?” he asked without looking up, arranging the last of the pastries.

“Have any recommendations? Never been here before, actually.” Harry hit his head on the top of the case in his haste to look at the source of the voice. It was a really beautiful voice, small and high and just lovely, if a voice could be lovely. Harry thought so. “Alright, mate?” the man asked when Harry finally composed himself, rubbing the top of his head as he took his place at the register.

Harry opened his eyes, and fuck. If Harry had thought his voice was lovely, the man himself was on a whole other level. “Alright, mate?” He repeated and shit. Harry had been openly staring for quite awhile, hadn’t he?

“Yeah,” Harry replied, and it came out sounding like a semi trailer running over gravel. He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he repeated. “Um, the cherry danish is quite good, I think. ’S my favorite.”

The man smiled. “One cherry danish it is, then.”

OR Harry’s spent the last year with six locks on his door, a pair of too-flamboyant boots buried in the back of his closet, and insecurity issues the size of a mammoth. Louis changes some of that, but Harry changes the most.

I Long For You by AnotherAnonymousWriter

Thirty minutes later, he's sat on a bench in Hyde Park with a book in his lap and a travel mug with hot tea in his hand. Not far from where he's sat, a group of boys are playing football and a bunch of children are chasing each other. Life is good.

Or at least, life is good until he hears a familiar “LOOK OUT!” and sees a football flying in the direction of his face.

And then everything is black.

(Harry gets hit in the head by various objects and falls for a boy with blue eyes.)

Let It Snow by thebrainisafunnyplace

Bakery owner Harry Styles is always cold, until he hires local university student, Louis Tomlinson to work as a cashier. When the storm of the year hits, the boys find themselves stuck together inside the bakery the night before Christmas Eve. Luckily, they have each other to keep warm.

everything i can arrange, every part of me you change by orphan_account

“Don’t you try that shit with me,” Niall spits the second he reaches Louis, pulling off the hood with force. “What the hell is this?” He plops down next to Louis on the empty bleacher and unceremoniously pushes a sheet of crumpled paper in his face.

Netflix and Chill Buddy Application

It’s like no matter how hard Louis tries, he can’t seem to run away from this stupid fucking flyer. All the girls (and some of the boys) in every one of his classes have been talking about it all week. It’s on every wall of every building on campus. Louis went for a jog last night and he nearly tripped and died over a loose one on the football track.

[Harry needs a big spoon and Louis refuses to let anyone steal his position. Based on this post.]

No words by becharlatan

Harry is a music student who never talks because he's a total introvert. Louis happens to bump into him by accident and as if like the constellations, the two have aligned their paths together despite their differences.

Sun Emoji Moon Emoji by mybeanieandme

For the prompt:

University!au: Harry works at a cafe as the busboy and Louis just really wants to get to know him. (Louis pines for an insecure Harry for a semester)

nonstop earthquake dreams of you by lumineres

And there's heat behind it, blazing, plasmatic, like stars crashing together, like an explosion in space, like a supernova, like a black hole--everything else sucked out of existence. There's no bed and there's no pillow and they're not lying down, just floating somewhere, somehow, and there's no room and there's no X Factor house and there's no Niall snuffling or Liam's deep, even breathing and there's no wind or traffic outside and there's no hum of the heating unit and it's all just Louis. All encompassingly Louis.

or, harry falls hard and finds louis already at the bottom

Kiss From A Rose by lovelarry10

Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention...

Black Cat by lalune15

Inspired by this tumblr post (not asked or requested): fic where louis works at a haunted house jumping out at people and harry’s friends drag him along even though he doesn’t really like haunted houses. when louis jumps out to scare their group, harry freaks out and accidentally jumps into louis’s arms. louis just squeaks. harry ends up sitting there with louis the rest of his shift and totally doesn’t come back every night after that.

Be Mine, For Always by zams

Louis is happy when Harry is happy. That's what Louis wants, and so when Louis starts feeling weird when Harry cuddles with Liam, Zayn, or Niall instead of him, he keeps quiet. But the burning, uncomfortable feeling Louis gets deep in his stomach when he sees Harry contentedly nuzzling Liam's neck, or Harry's arms and legs tangled around Niall like an octopus, or Harry's face smushed in Zayn's stomach as Zayn plays with his hair only gets worse as the days go by.

Loosen Up My Buttons by softfonds

The beautiful man opened this bakery about a year ago. He remembered the exact day he came: a glum, rainy morning in the middle of February, which instantly turned brighter the minute he saw him. The man had come in with some paint buckets and tools, and Louis doubted he would be able to fix up the drab place all by himself. But as he walked down the stairs at the end of the day and saw the man standing there in the middle of a gorgeous pink and white shop, clearly proud of his work, Louis fell in love at first sight. If only he knew how to talk to him.

Usually, Louis knew how to flirt. He prided himself on it. But every time he looked at the beautiful man, he completely forgot how to form sentences, and there was no way he could go up to him only to make a fool of himself. That was the last thing he needed.

Or, Louis owns a tattoo shop called Pretty in Ink, Harry owns a bakery called Rolling Scones, they haven't been introduced, and Valentine’s Day seems like the perfect opportunity to finally talk to the man Louis has been pinning over for the past year. And they both end up with more love than they bargained for.

Coffee Cups and Football Boots by kimtaedumb

Harry’s stood behind the counter again, but this time he’s painting his nails. Louis strolls up to the counter and, thanks to his no brain-to-mouth filter, blurts out, “Isn’t that a little girlish, Haz?” leaning closer to inspect.

Harry lets out a little huff as his hand slips, “Oh, damn, now I’ve messed it up,” he pouts and turns to Louis, “Why should making myself feel pretty be girly?”

Louis holds up his hands in surrender, “’M not judging, jus’ curious is all.”

(The entirely cheesy and cliché Christmas AU, in which Harry doesn’t give a damn what people think about him – mostly – and Louis may be a little bit in love.

Alternatively, the one in which Harry owns a café that’s barely scraping by and Louis is a footballer and he takes Harry away for Christmas.

Featuring Zayn as a cocky little shit that most definitely needs to be put back in his place, Niall as the loveable Irish dude who drinks too much and flirts with Zayn more than the average girl, and Liam who loves everyone but hates them all at the same time.)

you make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong by orphan_account

“Curly?” Louis says, stepping into Harry’s sight. “You okay?” Harry looks up from where he has two things in his hands, a thick winter coat sized for a newborn, and a sweatshirt fitting a grown man such as himself. He looks up at Louis, stricken, and holds them out for him to see. “They’re the same price,” he says. “They’re both forty dollars! Forty dollars for such little material.”

(or, Harry is pregnant and stops at the mall to buy cheap baby clothes. Louis has extra money from working a long shift, and he can't think of a better way to spend it than on him.)

you were the ocean, i was drawn into you by by orphan_account

where harry takes pictures and worries too much and louis plays guitar.

i'll be your sunflower by scagnetism

“What do you think’s gonna stop us now?” Harry says cheekily, laughter in his voice as he looks up at Louis. “Something’s gotta get in our way like always, doesn’t it?”

“Ha,” Louis grins, kissing his cheek and holding open the door for him as they make their way toward the car. “Nothing’s gonna interrupt us this time. ‘S gonna be perfect, just like Pumpkin.”

Or, a few interruptions aren't going to stop Harry from having a perfect pregnancy and having the family he and Louis have always dreamed of.

Send Me Your Pillow (The One That You Dream On) by flowercrownfemme

Harry is embarrassed to realize he's nesting but can't stop stealing Louis' things for his nest.

Short fluffy o/o gaybo drabble with lots of cuddles and softness and sock stealing <3

As one we are everything/We are everything we need by louloubaby92

Harry finally marries the love of his life. He's got the mating mark, he's got Louis' ring on his finger.

And now, he's on his honeymoon. Louis is but a door away, waiting for him.

Honestly, he doesn't understand why he's nervous.

only guilty of loving you by sweetrevenge

After Harry gets set up with his co-worker's alpha friend Louis, he's expecting some pleasant conversation, free dinner, and maybe a new friend. What he doesn't expect, however, is that Louis' arrival in his life begins a life of crime Harry never knew he had in him.

A You've Got Mail!AU with a twist.

[your-eternal-muse]

Only If You Knew

Heather Series Part Two

Part One

Summery: A Few months have passed, and reader is struggling with letting go of the fact that Spencer never really was hers.

Words: 1.2K

Warnings: Mild Swearing, angst, but other than that, nothing much

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Heather, Spencer Reid x Eventual Female!Reader

A/N: Hi. So I know I said I would post part three to use me before I would post this part, but I have absolutely no self control and so here I am. I was up until 4:30 yesterday morning writing because I couldn't get it out of my head. Also, for right now, because I'm posting this on Mobile, it won't have a keep reading link, but when I get home from work, I will put one in to make everyone's life easier. How the fuck do you put a keep reading link on mobile? Anyway, this is un-beta'd so, sorry if there are any mistakes. I hope you enjoy!

I wished falling out of love was as easy as falling into it. I wish I could just wake up one morning and not think about what might be going on across the city, inside his apartment in the early morning light, while he lays next to her.

    It’s been almost 8 months since Heather walked into my life and promptly took away the only thing I had ever really hoped for.

    I guess I can’t really blame her for the way that I’m feeling. 

    I was the one who waited too long to share her secret.

    It may be 8 months for me, but for heather, it’s been sixteen. 

    She had him wrapped around her pretty polished finger for 8 months, and I didn’t even notice.

    In retrospect it was quite obvious.

    The way he would smile down at his phone, how he would duck out of celebrations of a job well done, even the amount of coffee he drank diminished as she made him coffee at home.

    I don’t know how I didn’t realize, that he was never really mine.

    But I can’t let him know that. 

    I can’t let anyone know that.

    The only person who will ever know of my unrequited love of Spencer Reid, will be the devil on my shoulder, and I plan on him dying with me when the time comes.

    I’m Spencer's friend first and foremost. His best friend.

    That’s the reason I’m sitting across from him in a booth at a restaurant for our weekly lunch, listening to him gush about her for the thousandth time. 

    And all I can do is smile and nod, pretending to be utterly fascinated by the stories of her teachings, or how she makes domestic life seem so much better than what he thought.

    But that damn devil on my shoulder is making it a lot harder to fake being happy for my friend. 

    Because instead of looking interested, like I’m supposed to be, a dopey grin is smeared across my face, and I’m looking at Spencer like he’s the entire universe wrapped up into a perfect little specimen.

    The devil is making me notice the way his hands move so effortlessly, how the words slip off his tongue and between his lips.

    How his eyes never quite land on one certain thing before moving onto another object.

    That is, until his eyes meet mine.

    “Sorry, I’m rambling again aren’t I?” A blush covers his face, one that doesn’t ever really leave anymore.

    I blink, and sit back in my seat, trying not to make it obvious how insanely in my own head I was. 

    “I will never, ever, get tired of your rambling, Spence.” I take a sip of my sweet tea, to try and coat my throat which has now gone dry. “I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again, I’m like, 98% sure that I’ve learned more from you in the past 7 years, than I learned from every teacher I had in the 16 years of schooling I went through.”

    “I need to work on that 2%.”

    He smiles, pushing some of his hair out of his face. It’s getting long again, and I can’t really say I mind it.

    “Heather thinks I should become a professor.” 

    I substitute biting my tongue for a fry, and think of what to say while I chew and swallow.

    “You’d be the most interesting professor those students will have ever met. Not to mention you’d probably get more women interested in the field.”

    The words slipped out before I realized I had even said them, but it was too late. 

    He had heard.

    “What do you mean?” he looks genuinely confused at the statement, like he doesn’t realize how fucking attractive he is.

    Best friends hype each other up, right? So it’s not weird for me to tell him he’s one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen?

    “Are you kidding me Spence?” I lean forward, onto my elbows which are resting on the table in front of me. “Hun, you’re a piece of eye candy. Morgan doesn’t call you ‘pretty boy’ for nothing.”

    I steal a fry from his plate, since mine are all gone, and I need something in my mouth so I don’t talk myself into my own grave.

    “I guess I never really thought about it like that.” He runs his hands through his hair and leans back against the booth. “I haven’t really had the best luck with women, and them finding me attractive.”

    Well, those women are either stupid, or blind, because honey, excuse my language, you are a FINE piece of ass.

    But out of the woodworks, as if she had been listening to our conversation, his phone lights up with a picture of her, and a heart by her name.

    His mood instantly changes, as if her calling reminded him that it didn’t matter if no one else thought he was attractive, as long as she did.

    He slides his finger across the screen and holds it up to his ear. He’s quiet when he speaks.

    “Hi baby.”

    My stomach does somersaults as I make myself busy, stacking our now empty plates at the end of the table, and wiping salt from the top into my palm.

    I force myself to not hear his end of the conversation, the way he pauses and smiles as he listens to what she has to say, like she's the most interesting person in the world.

    The call ends right after the bill comes back, and I take my card out, placing it back into my purse.

    “I told you I would pay this time.” He’s embarrassed, clearly not wanting the call to have lasted how long it did. 

    I brush it off, shoving the annoyance back down my throat. “You can pay next week, loverboy.”

    He nods, sliding out of his booth, as I follow suit. 

    We exit the restaurant, and prepare to leave our separate ways, leaving me to go back to a lonely apartment, where reruns of The Nanny don’t even make me laugh.

    We never leave without a hug, though.

    Oh how I love his hugs. 

    How he wraps his arms around my waist, nuzzling his face into my shoulder and the crook of my neck, while I hold my arms around his shoulders, and just hold him. 

    It’s a hug purely reserved for Derek, JJ, Emily, Hotch, Penelope, and me.

    It’s what I call a home hug. 

    A hug that feels like home. 

    And it always reminds me that while I may not have him how I want him, I still have him. And that’s not something that's ever going to change.

    It helps that I know he doesn’t hug Heather this way, at least not out in public. 

    It makes me feel like I have something to hold over her.

    Does he hug you like you’re the only person who matters in that moment?

    That fucking devil usually pops up than, and whispers to me no, but he probably kisses her like she is.

    When we break, I almost forget that he’s going back to her apartment, and not his own.

    We leave with promises of seeing each other at work, and we walk opposite directions down the street. 

    I stop for a moment, turn back, and just watch him walk.

    Walk away from me.

    And towards her.

    Lucky bitch.

Permanent Taglist: @criminalcow @pinkdiamond1016 @eternityofaxiom @you-had-me-at-hello-dear @marvels-gurl @theamuz @write-from-the-heart @sungieeeeeee @mjloveskids666 @chococereal @itzsoff @gia-kerks @doctorspencereid @imsuperawkward

Heather Taglist: @drsoftboyreid @lindaze @urie-bowie-mercury @racerparker @avaholcombe @rodgertayloroof @stephanieisgay330 @swiftspaperings

[txemrn]

Hey, sweet friends!

I inadvertently took a smidge of a step back from writing thanks to real life (you all can relate!). Between Covid relief (9 months later *wink*wink* 🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼) and a crazy ❄⛄SNOW⛄❄ storm here in Texas, writing took that metaphorical backseat.

But I'm here, and I've got some WIPs I'd love to share with y'all...  who's ready for WIP Wednesday?  Click "Keep Reading" to enjoy five bits of fics I've been writing (the fourth and fifth are bonuses that I have NO idea when they will be released; they are for your amusement, to tease you a bit *shrugs* or something like that).

Before I continue... @lucy-268 @anjanettexcordonia @ao719 @bbrandy2002 @shannonsaid @khoicesbyk @shewillreadyou @irisofpurple @lem-20 what are y'all working on?

The Missionary’s Daughter (Chapter 1--Name TBD; TRR) 🍋

Halos of blurred auras bleach his vision as Drake cautiously opens one blood-shot eye. His tongue sticks to the roof of his roughly parched mouth as he massages his pained forehead. Clueless of what day it is--much less what he did last night--he is greeted with a sudden glorious sensation: a supple wet mouth on his hardened morning length.

His body relaxes back onto the dampened, disheveled sheets of his bed; he releases a pleasurable exhale as he blindly reaches for the head behind the lips. He strains to focus his view, but can only make out a foggy shape of a nude woman with long, tousled brunette waves.

Of course, it’s her.

Drake smiles; delicately tangling his grip in her strands, he admires how even the afternoon sun catches her beauty perfectly. He quietly smacks his lips. He can still smell her on his stubble; he can still taste her on his tongue.

Did she come clean to Liam? Were they celebrating that they could finally be together?

As she takes in the head of his girth, he arches his back, relaxing his body into her hungry touch. Closing his eyes, he offers a guttural groan deep in his chest as she swirls her tongue around his firm thickness.

“God, you’re incredible, Riley--”

------------------------------- Caroline (Chapter 3--Name TBD; TNA/OH crossover)

"Hello? Anyone here?" Her voice echoes throughout the Dalton penthouse as she pushes the stroller further into the living room.

A stirring Mason catches her attention as she cautiously bends over to settle him down.

"It's okay, um--" she looks at his monogrammed onesie for his name, "--’Mason’. Come here, sweet boy," she snuggles him into her neck, soothing him with gentle rubs and taps on his back. "There, there."

"Sof?"

The platinum blonde instantly twirls around to face the deep voice as she grips tightly around Mason.

"Oh, Sam--" she sighs with a forced laugh. "You scared me--"

"Is Caroline with you?" he stutters as he finishes his whiskey neat.

"No, um--" she bounces Mason on her hip, averting her eyes to a yawning Mickey. "She--she should be back sometime this evening though. I--I don't know--"

"Is--" he interjects, his voice growing husky, "--is Robin here?" Sofia feels the prickling of a thousand goosebumps ignite across her body as Sam's hand glides across her lower back. She clears her throat, stepping away from him.

"C'mon, my little munchkins," she joyfully chimes to the twins as she gathers Mickey into her arms. She sits them softly into their play pin, tossing each of them a musical toy.

As she stands back up, Sam grips tightly to the curve of her hips

"Sam--!" she gasps as he intimately runs his hands across her abdomen to rest on her voluptuous breasts. Her eyes flutter shut; she nibbles on her lips as he nuzzles his nose into her neck. She feels him grow against her backside.

"Sam, please--"

"'Please' what, kitten?"

"Ugh--" she scoffs as she throws his hands off of her body. "We said that the last time would be our last--"

"Please, Sofia, " he stops her in her tracks, "I need--" his lip trembles; liquor dances on his tongue as he leans closer to her dangerous curves. "I need--"

"--your wife."

"Fuck!" He abruptly throws himself onto the couch, raking his hands through his thick, tousled hair.

"I'm losing her, Sof." He leans back on the couch as Sofia cautiously sits next to him. Heated tears streak down his chiseled face as he plays with his wedding band. He lowers his voice as he chokes on his sobs.

"I think I've lost her. "

-------------------------- Boughs & Mockingbirds (Part 5; TRR/TRH)

After modeling three dresses, Hana twirls out in a dreamy white ball gown with a flattering fitted-bodice. The ornate gold filigree bead-work brought out her natural ethereal tones, instantly brightening and highlighting her gorgeous, exotic features.

“Hana--!” Riley spits out her sparkling water. “Oh-- oh my God!”  With a stunned-look plastered on her face, she jumps from her bed, skipping quickly to her floor-length mirror. “Look at you!”

“I’m guessing this is a keeper?” Hana giggles as she walks on her tip-toes, envisioning the dress with her new shoes.

“Uh, yeah!” Riley squeals, twirling Hana’s silky hair into a make-shift up-do to show off her bare skin. Biting her lower lip, she lowers her voice to whisper into her friend’s ear: “Not to mention, a certain ‘Maxwell the Glorious’ won’t be able to keep his hands off of you.”

“Riley! You’re wicked! We’re just--” she blushes while shrugging her shoulders, “--um, friends.”

“I’m pregnant, not stupid,” she jokingly chides. “These past few weeks with the book tour, I’ve noticed you two becoming quite the dynamic duo.”

Hana falls silent; she mindlessly admires the beading of her white gown with her fingers as a joyous smile crawls across her face. Her bright, brown eyes pierce into Riley’s as she slowly nods.

“He’s pretty great--”

“I knew it!” Riley grabs Hana’s hands as they dance recklessly in a circle, laughter filling the room.

“Oh, you’re gonna dance with somebody--” Riley sings, purposely changing the lyrics to jest with her best friend.

“I’m gonna feel the heat with somebody--” Hana cups her mouth, laughing at herself with what she just sang.

“’Heat’?” Riley howls. “Ow! Ow! Now who’s being wicked?” They both grab their bellies as their sides ache from their silliness and excitement.

“Oh gosh,” Riley strains to breathe, “Thank you, Hana. I haven’t laughed like this in--”

“Oh my God! Riley?” Hana’s voice suddenly drips with panic. “Your nose--” ------------------------ Fractals (Bonus wannabe series; crossover of Platinum/TRR; I have fantasized about this series for probably 8 MONTHS, and I finally took off writing a chapter; this is a smidge of that chapter, and this series will come, at the earliest, after B&MB)

“Here’s to living in the headlines,” she mutters to herself, offering her glass as a toast in the air.  She tosses the rest of her drink back. The bartender quickly replenishes the alcohol as she digs frantically in her oversized Dior bag.  Pulling out a lone cigarette, she sets it neatly between her teeth as she searches for a lighter.

“Miss?” a soft, baritone voice calls to her, but floats away as she continues to sift through her purse.  The gentleman clears his throat in hopes of catching her attention. “Pardon me, miss?” His thick, European-influenced accent is more apparent this time, but still she doesn’t notice.

“Excuse me, miss--?”

“What?” She interrupts angrily as she hastily swivels in her barstool, knocking her bag and its contents on the floor. “Shit--!”  she clumsily fumbles to the floor to gather her belongings.

“Here; let me help--”

“You’ve done enough, sir--” she cuts off the young man as she madly shoves tubes of makeup, magazines, loose coins and scrunchies back into her satchel. She looks around the floor for any wayward items when she notices something black being offered to her.

“Miss?”

Looking up, she finally takes notice of the man behind the voice. And freezes. The electricity of his presence overwhelms her fragile senses. He offers her a bright, charming smile, creating dimples that soften his chiseled bone structure. A sensual aura of citrus, guaiac wood and leather dance across his coastal skin as sun rays illuminate brightly from his wavy blond hair. 

She gradually stands along with him, her brilliant jade eyes locked into his striking baby-blues. His strong physique impressively towers over her petite frame. She admires his handsomely neat demeanor of pressed dark-wash denim with a light heather-gray sports coat.

“Hi,” she manages to squeeze out as her mouth confuses between dropping and smiling.

“Hello,” he chuckles with a smile. “Pardon me, but I do believe you, um--well, you, uh--,” he pauses as he glances towards his outstretched arm, “you dropped these.”

Regretfully breaking her trance from his hypnotic gaze, the color quickly drains from her face as the feeling of horror crawls across her porcelain skin. Her crotchless, black-lace g-string tangled effortlessly between his fingers.

“Oh-- oh my God!” she shrieks as she reaches to grab and hide them; but unfortunately, the missing gusset between the leg bands, snags on his gold signet ring, leaving his first two fingers hung on the crotchless portion of the thong.

“I must say,” his eyes twinkle as he laughs harder at her incessant efforts to detangle the fabric from his hands, “I didn’t realize getting into a woman’s undergarments would be quite this easy--” ------------------------- Title TBD (TNA Valentine’s Day: First vs. Last... this is in the Once...Always... Universe, and I just couldn’t get it finished before Valentine’s day. So! It will be coming out on another random holiday lol)

Reaching for the doorbell, she catches her reflection in the apartment number brass plate. And panics.

Oh, God! I--he can’t see me like this!

It has been nine months since Brynn caught her husband cheating on her with their daughter Olivia’s nanny. With the story hitting every gossip column and news channel, multiple women came forward with their private trysts with Sam over the years; however, most of their stories will never be heard thanks to the family’s heavy payouts for their silence.

Sam and Brynn’s divorce was finalized five months ago, two days before baby Charlotte was born.  Despite the scandal, his lies and his betrayal, Brynn wars with her feelings towards Sam.  He was the love of her life; even though he broke his vows, she never dreamed of going back on her own. He made his choice; he didn’t want to be with her the moment he chose to have his extramarital affairs. But, everyday life without him by her side is awful, like living a horrible nightmare. Her heart flutters around him, missing him terribly, but her brain begs her to stop.

Brynn pinches her cheeks to life as she swipes on a rosy color of gloss on her pout. She finger combs her almond tresses into a low ponytail, ensuring the wayward wisps are hidden.

The door suddenly opens, catching Brynn by surprise.

“Mommy!” A curly-chestnut hair Olivia dashes to Brynn with open arms.

“My baby girl!” Instantaneously, she welcomes her oldest daughter into her arms, pulling her up onto her hip for a sweet hug and tender kiss. “Did you have fun with Daddy?”

“Uh-huh,” she beams, “Look what I made you!”  As she pulls out a bright pink homemade Valentine, Sam steps around the door with baby Charlotte in his arms.

“Princess--” he whispers in a deep, syrupy voice, “what do you say?”

“Oh, yeah!” her chocolate brown eyes brighten to her mom, “Happy ‘Valentime’s’ day, Mommy!”

“Happy Valentine’s day, baby girl!” Brynn squeezes Olivia into a tight embrace while she presses her lips into her cheeks. “C’mon, let’s get your things.”  

As Brynn glances back at Sam, the wind is abruptly knocked out of her chest as she sees him dressed handsomely in her favorite Armani slate gray suit with soft petal-pink accents. Her eyes stay glued to him as he fastens a sleepy Charlotte into her carrier.  As he stands back up, she notices his tie is crooked.

“May I?” Brynn steps forward, motioning towards his tie.

“Please,” he chuckles, “I miss your meticulous eye--”

They both awkwardly flinch at his words, Brynn focusing on the knot around his neck as Sam clears his throat.

“So--” he attempts to change subjects, “any special plans tonight?”

“Mason and Mickey are out with friends, so it’s just the girls, me, and--”

“Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown,” he interrupts as he flashes an alluring dark look at his ex-wife. He begins to run the back of his fingers sensually down her arms. “Some things don’t change--”

“But--” she glowers at him, tightening his tie close to his neck, “a lot of things have.”

--------------------

[ninjakasuga]

Sonally Week Year 3 Day One

Another year, another of @gojira007 and their blog @boundforfreedomsonsal hosting another week of one of the best OTP’s of fiction. Here’s my entry for Day One: Dawn.

Foreward: Another year; another Sonally Week! Here’s my entry for Day One, and hope ya’all enjoy. This one is a sequel of sorts to my “Surprise” Day entry last year, where after some heckling over certain aspects of his romance with Sally; Sonic gets the news he’s gonna be a big brother! Instead of a literally dawn I decided to do a more thematic ‘dawn of a new part of life’ aspect than the actual time of day.

“Sonic.”

The blue furred Hedgehog in question continued to pace the floor, seeming to either not hear, or simply not regard the call of his name. He stopped, but not to reply, and began to tap his foot repeatedly as he often did in a show of impatience. Soon he was pacing yet again, causing the one trying to get his attention to sigh in exasperation, again.

“Sonic!” Raising her voice, just-oh-so-slightly, Sally again, attempted to get the attention of her fiancé’ this time reaching out and managing to grasp his tail and give it a small yank. Probably not the best thing for Sonic’s pride as he let out the cutest squeak in response, but Sally didn’t mind. Smiling coyly yet with a hint of apology in her eyes as he turned to face her, she reached for his arm, softly rubbing it. “Calm down a bit hun, you’re going to wear the floor out.” Rubbing his slightly sore posterior, Sonic gave his beloved a mild glare that softened almost as soon as it appeared; agitation giving way to the concern plaguing him. “Sorry Sal, it’s just, well it’s been over an hour since the expected due date. What’s the hold up?”

A voice quips from a chair along the opposite side of the waiting room from Sonic and Sally. “Well that’s how labor sometimes goes Sonny-boy. I mean you didn’t exactly pop out as soon as your Ma’s water broke. Slow-going was the name of the game.” Chuckled Charles Hedgehog, finding much amusement in his nephew’s impatience. An impatience he very much empathized with, but knew better than to get too riled up at this point. “So an hour past when the doctor expects the babies to come is small change, especially compared to how you made everyone wait a whole ten hours and ninety-one minutes before you finally graced us with your presence.”

Sitting besides Charles, Rosie Woodchuck let out her own dainty but hearty giggle as she reached to give the silver-furred Hedgehog a gentle squeeze of his hand. “Oh the language coming out of that room. We both feared for your brother’s manlihood if not his existence.”

“I wasn’t that hard on Mom was I?” Inquired Sonic with genuine curiosity mixed with a mild hint of indignity. His gaze only half-way went to his Uncle and Rosie; mainly because he still found it weird they were dating. Correction had been dating on the down-low since, well, a long time with the two only having a ‘break’ when he’d been roboticized all those years. He was genuinely happy for them, but it was still just plain weird to him.

“I think pregnancy is hard for any woman the first time around, or so I read and was told.” Mused Sally as she gently pulled Sonic to sit beside her, rubbing his quills to both straighten them out, and to soothe his nerves. Not unlike Sonic she was still processing the semi-recent revelation that her beloved former Nanny and Sir Charles had been dating under everyone’s noses for so long. Then again should she be surprised? Both were rather private people about their personal lives outside of whatever they did with friends and family. Not to mention the true reason they kept it quiet back in the day had more to do with concerns their positions in the Royal Court would cause unrest for some if their more intimate relationship came to light.

Looking toward Rosie, Sally was now curious about her own birth given the topic. “Were Elias or I rough on Mother?”

Rosie shook her head, “Not really, Elias took some time, but your dear Mother thankfully did not have too rough a time of it. Her calm demeanor kept up even dealing with labor pains, and the end result more than made up for it. You were much easier, as she knew what to navigate and you only took so many hours after the labor contractions began to grace us with your presence.” She smiled fondly, thinking about the two occasions, then giggled. “That said she wasn’t above occasionally reminding your Father it was his fault she was in that state, and well, that’s her story to tell more than mine.”

Snickering, Sally looked at Sonic with a very straight face, barely keeping a grin from forming. “I promise if we have kids, not to threaten your masculinity. That said, I will probably get my vengeance some other way.”

Lifting an eyebrow, Sonic elbowed his girlfriend-now-fiance’ gently in the arm. “Oh reeeeeeeally? Well you gotta catch me first Sal.”

“I already did.” She murmured, leaning in to kiss his cheek as she laced her fingers with his.

“Got me there,” Relenting, Sonic returned the smile, as well as the kiss, planting it on her fluffy cheek before leaning back in his seat. His concern for his Mother and his impending siblings, slightly alleviated for the time being.

The elder couple shared a look, one they had often shared when they were witness to the dear love and devotion between Sally and Sonic. From children to adults, the two always seemed to be a pair they fit so well, it was clear as day even when they were in diapers or arguing up a storm as toddlers, to their teen years. The small things in life that made all the gloom and doom of the past decade and some odd-change worth living for. Soon everyone’s heard turns as the double-door leading to the maternity ward opened and Doctor Quack limped out, leaning on his cane carefully, but with a confident stride; showcasing he’d come to master the walking tool quite well.

“Well-?!”

Holding up his free hand, both to interrupt as well as allow Quack to pull down his mask, his bill forming into a smile. “Your newborn sister and brother are here, healthy and loud, and your Mother is doing very well herself.”

The four cheer as they stand up, mindful this was still a hospital and kept it down, but their jubilation was completely understood.

“Can we see them?” Asked Sonic, already antsy and looking ready to speed down the corridor.

“Yes, we’ve already handled all the post-birth clean up, and checked their vitals as well as Bernie’s, who herself wishes to see you all as well. So I see no issue with allowing visitation right away, but do keep it brief, they do need their rest.” Advised the water-foul doctor as he kept himself straight, if just to fight off his own fatigue which was now creeping up after the long labor. “Just NO running Sonic, got it?”

At the mild admonishment, the Hedgehog simply grinned. “Me? Run through a hospital? Would I do thaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

“Yes, you would.” Everyone else remarked with amazing timing and matching deadpan. To which Sonic rolled his eyes.

“Sheesh, talk about a crowd! Anyway let’s go, let’s go!” Sonic urged, already half-dragging Sally along, forcing his beloved to keep in rapid pace close to him as they held hands still. Sally simply went with it, laughing softly at Sonic’s outright adorable impulsive need to see his new siblings. Chuck and Rosie merely followed at their pace, but there was certainly a spring in their step as well.

Eventually the group, along with Doctor Quack, reach the room designated for Bernie and her newborns. Managing to keep Sonic at bay enough, Quack pushed the door open for them and cleared his throat. “Jules, Bernie, your guests have arrived.”

Like an impatient puppy, Sonic squeezed past Quack, Sally trailing hand-in-hand still from behind. His emerald-green eyes, zeroing-in on the target, even as his breath hitched softly as a wave of emotion floored Sonic as he finally gazed upon his Mother and new siblings. As tired as Bernie Hedgehog looked, nothing could dull the intense love and adoration in her eyes and face as she held two swaddled bundles in her arms. Her husband Jules’ own expression was a mirror of his wife’s, only tinged with the pride only a Father can know. Each look up their expressions beaming more at the sight of their eldest child, with Jules instantly waving him over.

“Hey there son, come say hi to your baby brother and sister!”

Noticing that Sally seemed a bit frozen, Sally found back a ‘snerk’ that wanted to come out, and simply pulled him along. Upon seeing the two infants, mewling and cooing, her own eyes mist. “Awww, they’re adorable!”

“Y-yeah they are…” Sonic managed a dry chuckle,  why did his throat feel so dry? He’d been psyched for this ever since his Mom laid the bombshell she was pregnant nine months ago! Of all the times for Sonic the Hedgehog to choke and lose his cool, it’s this? He didn’t lose his cool this much, asking Sally to marry him for Almighty’s sake! Leaning over he got a much better look at the two.

One of the two clearly favored their Mother’s more light-purple coat, another had the milder-blue of his Father. Both were cute as a button, and just, the sounds they made! Sonic usually wasn’t one to obsess over cute things, but he was entranced. “So we got names for these two? Or do I call em’ Li’ Sib one, and two?”

“We were thinking of Sonia, for this little angel.” Explained Bernie as she gently pet the back of her daughter’s head. The newborn curled against the warm hand that carried the scent of her Mother. “As for this handsome young man, I was thinking of something with M, like Manwell or Manny.”

“If he’s anything like Sonny-boy he’ll be one manic child.” Chuckled Charles as he and Rosie moved closer taking the end of the bed so as to not crowd anyone.

Something about that line struck a chord with Jules, who instantly adopted a thoughtful look as he rubbed his chin. “Manic, manic, why not Manic?” He grinned even as his wife looked at him rather funny. “Face it hun, if Sonic’s any indication, these two are going to be spirited, and it kind of goes well don’t you think?”

After a moment, Bernie tired rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she however smiled, “Manic it is. However if that name causes him woe, I’ll be sure he knows he has you to blame.”

“Anybody gives him or Sonia woe I’mma deck em’.” Sonic proclaimed, pounding his fists together.

“Nor alone,” Agreed Sally as she leaned against him. They weren’t her siblings biologically, but already she had decided she would help protect them at all cost.

“Triple, and quadruple so.” Added Rosie, who nodded along with Charles. The family was united on this front.

“Fantastic.” Giggling, Bernie kissed the heads of her newborns. “Hear that, your family is ready to murder for you.”

“You all can plot future murder later, as much as I hate to spoil the moment, Mother and both newborns need rest.” Spoke up Quack as he stood at the door, keeping silent until now.

Yawning, Bernie nodded in agreement, she was drained. Her gaze lifted to her husband. “You get some rest too, you’ve been up with me through all this.”

“I didn’t do even a fraction of the work; but, rest sounds good.” He yawned, quickly covering his mouth. “Mind if I just crash here Doc?”

“I’ve already asked an orderly to bring a rollaway for you. I know better.” Smiled the duck-doctor in a knowing fashion. “Now come now everyone, time to go.”

Looking at his parents, Sonic instantly stated. “We’ll visit tomorrow, promise.”

“Looking forward to it son, looking forward to it.”

Giving his siblings one last look, Sonic smiled and winked at the two infants. “Welcome to the world you two, hopefully by the time you can talk and explore the world there’ll be one last fat-man to worry about. That’s a big-bro promise!”  

[artemuerto]

Shelby Household Manor

Pairing: Thomas Shelby/Male Reader

Trigger Warnings: Shy!Reader, Soft!Tommy, Mention of Guns

Author Notes: First ever Peaky Blinders story, i just wanted to give Tommy some pece after my heart broke on season 5.

Read on AO3

Part Two

Part Three

The Servant

—1—

Working at the manor was a surprise. The boy himself never imagined he would be taken seriously, specially regarding the job he was meant for; it felt almost like a joke, a silly trick to play the part. So, being hired as a butler for the feared head of the Shelby family was honest to God shocking and terrifying.

The wide windows and open corridors left him in awe as well as the beauty of the barn and the well-kept animals. It was known mister Shelby liked to ride early in the mornings or late past midnight under the deep pitch-black winter.

The first time the servant saw him, mr. Shelby came back to the manor, his steps maintained his powerful stance even when no one was around to see. Charlie’s nanny had been looking for him as the baby kept calling for the man after waking up and while technically being his job to find him, after all those past weeks, he had no idea where the man could possibly be.

Soon, he hurried to greet mr. Shelby by the doors with a sharp nod.

“Charlie has asked for you, mr. Shelby.” The man merely looked with a glint of recognition before storming to find his son.

Later on, he seemed to find little flashes of the head of the house.

Some of them were good. Some of them not so much.

—2—

Hearing the man argue with his aunt was nothing new and still impressive. As he worked in the house, talked to the remain help around it, the cook and the nanny; they all said mr. Shelby was a kept man, stoic and impassive. With a piercing stare that imitated the freezing winter he much so seemed to loathe.

Some said his glacially sight would melt only in presence of his son. Charlie was the light of his eyes, a beacon in the stormy sea guiding him home the nights his memories sinked him deep and low. Mister Shelby may not hear the resonance of the picks and shovels anymore but still saw them in his sleep.

The always compose man had a frown on his face, his lips on a thin line only sharing his distaste for the conversation and stating a couple of orders to the other side of the phone, Thomas Shelby hang up with a soundless huff and placed his hand near his eyebrow to ease the increasing nagging pain growing at the back of his head.

They never got any peace. No one of his family ever got peace.

The servant moved seamlessly in the room, took the empty glasses and spared a glance at the half full liquor sitting the the bottle by the table at the other side.

“Your glasses, mister Shelby,” Having the absolute attention of a man such as Shelby was unnerving, nerve-wracking and worrying and at the same time, heated adrenaline and embarrassment made their way to the boy’s cheeks. A young face taintless of horror and despair.

He left the glasses for the man to hold on top of his desk and took his leave.

Mister Shelby often forgot the use of his reading glasses as he called them, and soon started to orchestrated a massive migraine that left him moody for hours.

The servant shortly after discovered keeping a spare of glasses in the office would do magic for him and mostly salvaged whatever was left of his eye-sight. That man surely liked to be left alone in the dark.

Mr. Shelby accepted the pair of glasses in silent and soon after, lighted up a new cigarette.

“Dinner will be served promptly, sir.” The boy assured his master even knowingly of being ignored, all those years, he have seen the man work, climb, celebrate, scream and even fuck passing walks of beautiful women, but barely were able to make him eat anything. Not even with his son besides him. He had used the pretense of Charlie when the boy was feeling lonely and missed both father and mother; only then mister Shelby seemed to reach for his boy and comfort him.

But for that night it didn’t feel like that strategy would work.

“I won’t be there.” Thomas let him know. “However, you are all free to dine outside the kitchen.” The surprise was cleared in the boy’s eyes, it was such an honor to eat at the table of the family and doing so without the head of said family felt wrong. The young one was about to deny his orders when a piercing cold stared advised him otherwise. “You may tell the others.”

“Yes, mister Shelby.”

Dinning at the large table was surreal. The nanny, the cook, one of the maids and him were sitting in display, all surrounding little Charlie who talked and ate happily commenting on how good the supper was for the day. The growing Shelby told stories about his horse, his ridding lessons and even his violin recital that was yet to come. Charlie wished he could invited them all.

He smiled warmly at the boy sharing the overwhelming sense of care as the other servants of the house, they all loved Charlie.

“You will be wonderful, Charlie.” The nanny mentioned.

“And you can always play for us if you want.” Commented the cook with short courage.

“We will always listen.” He said and retreated after dinner.

Hours late into midnight, the servant was wandering around from the kitchen, the halls were lonely and quiet, candles around created shadows that guide him and about to head to bed he was when he first heard it.

Low, quiet, meek whispering, hushed breaths and silent prayers came from the office. A rush of fear traveled down his spine, fear of someone being inside the house, but shortly after unlocking the door he realized it was only mister Shelby.

The man was resting on the sofa, his coat was hanged on his side and his shoes were neatly placed far from it. Mister Shelby’s features were obscured with memories and ghosts, sweat formed on his forehead as his arms flexed in anger. The boy knelt on the carpet and touched the man heated skin trying to wake him up.

The response was almost immediately. Muster Shelby rose up in a second, smoothly reached under his arm and pointed a gun at the servants head.

The distinguished click of the safe being taken off fired up his heart, the boy could hear it running wild in his ears but he stood tall and still, no sign of breathing until Mister Shelby’s gaze focused on him.

A pair of glazing blue, cold and piercing dilated pupils engraved with long soft looking lashes. Looked down on him leaving him frozen on the spot. Mister Shelby didn’t seem to even blink, placing his eyes on the boy, searching for answers to questions in a wicked curiosity; the man knew what the others thought of him, some feared him, some loved him —and he was strictly thinking about him family and having doubts—, and some other definitely hated him, loathed him and despised him. Even himself, in the deeps of night he would wake up with the sinking feeling of abhor for his persona.

But at that time, pointing a gun at one of his servants who still looked at his eyes and not the machine capable of killing them, Thomas felt curious for the boy. Shelby released the safe into its rightful place albeit never taking the gun down.

“What are you doing here?” The boy gradually started to retreat his hands and left them resting on his thighs.

“You were speaking, sir. Talking in your sleep.” A pregnant silence followed that statement and the younger one feared first time while staying in the manor that he would be hurt in any way. Thomas nodded to himself and lower the gun brushing it slightly to the boy’s face. An innocent touch on his nose to finally rest on his parted lips. The cold feeling of the metal combined with the fleeting smell of powder stirred something within the servant’s blood making him blushed in a fading shade of red.

All under the watchful eye of the crime Lord.

A lick of something wickedly dark sparkled his brain to force the boy near the gun one last time by roughly grasping at the back of his head.

“Do you want to die, Little one?” The warmth pouring from the man’s voice was numbing enough to leave his throat dry.

“No, sir.” The servant was unable to free himself, not out of absolute fear. He knew who Shelby was, he knew who his boss was, he also knew all the stories about the Peaky Blinders, so, no. He didn’t fear his boss out of his reputation. He feared being disrespectful at any capacity and not being good enough to the man’s eyes.

“Alright.” At last, Tom left him go although the boy didn’t move. He had a feeling mister Shelby wasn’t doing alright, then again, nobody not eating and not sleeping would be ok in any circumstances. So instead of leaving his boss alone, he stayed. Silently asking for the gun with both palms bare.

Thomas interest was peaked as he pleased the boy silent request and slowly after was surprised by the skilled hands that disarmed every bullet smoothly and placed them at Thomas’s feet.

“How do you know how to use it?” Shelby spoke rough and easy aching to have a cigarette on his lips. The boy stood with care and wobbly legs, went to man’s desk and searched for the item his master needed. Mr. Shelby rose up an eyebrow but either way accepted the cigar and the warmth that followed.

“My Father.” He simply stated. It was no mystery the tells of war and how many families had been torn apart from it. He, himself was about to be shipped away from his crying mother when news broke and thousands of soldiers were send back. He had been a tad too young to be part of it, but was old enough to recognize the signs and tells from it. He could never know what horrors had mister Shelby seen on those lands and he could only imagine. So he told him much.

“It’s better that you’ll never know.” Thomas groaned as the smoke blurred his face to the boy’s eyes and led him to bed. “Good night, little one.” With an unfamiliar sweetness Tommy left a heavy hand rest on the boy’s soft hair with a brush of warmth forgotten by the time he sat back on his desk.

“Good night, mister Shelby.” After months of work and sunny days, the servant felt courage to shyly smile at the man before disappearing behind the door.

[zeldasayer]

Loving Dyn II - Bringing Up Baby

Pairing: Mandalorian/Dyn Jarren x Reader

Summary: Domestic Daddy Dyn and Artist Mom reflect on the first time you meet the sweet green bean.

You woke to the sound of some aggressive cooing. You opened your eyes, greeting the milky early morning light with annoyance. The cooing continues and you peek over the edge of the bed to find it isn’t coming from your side. You close your eyes again.

“Dyn.” You say, voice low and raspy with sleep. “Dyn, pick him up.”

Dyn grunts and rolls over and in a moment you feel Baby between you two.

“Okay, Baby. Just a few more minutes.” Dyn yawns.

You fall back to sleep to the sound of Baby rustling under the covers and when you wake again, it’s to the sound of a voice. Dyn’s. You roll over to see them. Baby sits, leaning against his father’s chest, one of his little fingers brushing his moustache.

“Yeah, I don’t know buddy. I don’t know why your mom likes it so much.” Dyn whispers with his eyes closed. Dyn scrunches his nose and Baby pulls his hand away, cackling at the face.

You had never given much thought to motherhood in your life. Your own childhood, though privledged, had been lonely. With your parents both wildly successful in their careers, you were left to your own devices and a nanny droid. You threw yourself into every project in hopes of finding the same level of greatness as your mother and father. And in their guilty absence, they supported every project and new hobby you took on.

Your childhood wasn’t completely normal. But like everything else, you remember it in small fleeting moments. The smell of your fathers cologne. The way your bedroom filled with orange light every sunset, how it made you lose your breath. Your mother bringing you back your first journal from her travels. Leather bound with brown parchment pages. Writing your short stories and painting landscapes on your bedroom walls instead of doing the homework assigned by your tutor droid. Your elaborate day dreams of a life without famous parents. Your obsessive need to be your own person, more than just their daughter. Peeking through the columns of the upstairs balcony when you were supposed to be sleeping, looking down on one of your parent’s legendary parties. How the muffled noise, as you lay in bed, made you feel so alone. You knew, even then, you didn’t want to have a child just to have them feel as lonely as you.

“I want you to meet someone.” Dyn said suddenly one night at dinner. You had been together for a few months now, and were already secretly in love with each other. Your love for Dyn confused you as you had never been with someone like him before. He was so raw, and present yet tense and quiet. You had never been with someone you had so much trouble reading. But it was also the greatest sex you had ever had, and you had never felt so supported in your endeavours. Sweet Dyn, he even stood there grinning, squeezing your hand as you sold a portrait of him to an older woman in a blue fur coat and round blue tinted glasses after she called him “the finest young man” she’d ever seen. You looked at each other with wide eyes, laughing in the backs of your throats as the old woman carried the painting out herself. He always surprised you.

“Okay.” You nodded, wiping the corner of your mouth with a cloth napkin. “Who?”

“I have a....son?” He said, though it sounded more like a question.

You snorted. “Either you do, or you don’t.”

“You’re right. I don’t know why I said it like that. I do. I’ve adopted him.”

Your heart swelled, you were so delighted to have him let you into this part of his life. It felt like the ‘next step’ and you felt your palms start to sweat.

“Okay.” You smiled. “Should I bring him a gift? You know, something to make him like me?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“Okay, like what?”

Dyn exhaled sharply. “A.....frog?”

“Oh! Like a stuffed animal?”

“No.”

You looked to the side and then back to Dyn. “Alright... how old is he?”

“Fifty.”

You craned your neck forward, “I’m sorry, what?”

Dyn shrugged, “Some species age differently.”

The next day Dyn opened the door to his cottage with his sweet smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You breathed back, and he kissed you.

“Look,” you said walking through the door. “I didn’t bring any frogs because as it turns out, I can’t catch frogs. And quite frankly, I don’t think I want to know what happens to said frogs.

Dyn chuckled and kissed you again, “Its okay. I get it.”

You took your jacket off and hung it next to the door. You were nervous, you had never met the child of one of your loves before. What if he didn’t like you?

You realized you two had been standing there awkwardly and Dyn put his hand on the back of his neck, “He’s in his room..”

You nodded and whispered, “What if he doesn’t like me?”

Dyn wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you against him, “Hey... he’ll adore you.”

You put your hands against Dyn’s chest and you breathe in his familiar scent. The scent of home. You looked up into his glorious dark eyes and nodded. You heard a coo and you both looked towards the door of one the bedrooms.

“Oh my goodness,” you whispered.

A little green baby stood in the door way, wrapped in brown robes. Eyes like saucers and ears even bigger.

The child looked up at his dad, then to you and stepped back.

“Hey, buddy.” Dyn said, breaking away from you and collecting the child in his arms. “Y/N, this is Baby.”

You got in a little closer and Baby turned his head away from you, nestling into Dyn’s chest.

“Someone’s just a little shy. Come on Baby, say hi to Y/N.”

Baby turns his head back towards you, mouth parted to expose his two tiny teeth as he studied you with his saucer eyes.

You smiled, “Hi, Baby.”

Baby turned his head away again, rubbing his face against Dyn.

That night at dinner, Baby sat with his back to you in Dyn’s lap, peering over his shoulder every once in a while probably just to check if you were still there.

“I’m so sorry.” Dyn said, looking up from Baby.

You laugh, “It’s okay, darling. It’s kind of funny, actually. Oh he’s so precious.”

Baby wasn’t too thrilled about sharing his daddy, but it wasn’t long before he was reaching for you during walks through town. Humming back the same tones you sang when Dyn and you were teaching each other how to cook. He brought you every insect he found with a proud smile and pulled on the bottom of your dresses as you painted, wanting a higher vantage point as he loved to watch you work.

You loved Baby. He was so funny with his little personality. So curious and intelligent. You treasured every moment he sat on the kitchen counter, painting along with you. Or your afternoon naps as you slept on the couch and he on your stomach.

Baby wasn’t biologically yours, yet having him in your life made you realize how silly it was to be scared of motherhood. Baby wouldn’t be lonely because he had you with your sweet voice and understanding and he had Dyn who would protect the two of you until the end of days. Maybe you weren’t born to be a mother but you could not deny the pure joy of co-parenting the sweetest boy on the planet.

Especially as you lay here on a lazy morning, your heart so full of love because Dyn has so casually referred to you as mom, you know it was always meant to be this way.

Tag: @aeryntheofficial @fahhhhq

A/N: Loving Dyn 3 will just be straight smut because Pedro Pascal is KILLING ME. LD4 will be Mando & Baby’s first Christmas + meeting your eccentric parents.

I hope you enjoyed!! Love, Zelda.

[linkispink1995]

Better Together (11) When the tears have dried

Previously 

Series Masterlist 

A/N: let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list , please do not plagiarize my work. Stay safe and feedback is apricated , Thanks - Meg

Also I have  group chat for this series where we can talk about the series , and ya’ll can give me feedback on what you wanna see , there’ll be voting and Q and A’s so let me know if you’d like an invite

Chapter Warnings :Language , Angst , mentions of smut/skinny dipping and lots of drama 

I was sitting on the bed drying the rest of my tears that had fallen  , Steve had only left moments ago but I still felt the sting of are confrontation was still present. I didn't know what to do , should I go after him , should I give him some space I didn't know what to do but all I did know is I hurt Steve and I was alone and after what I had done I knew it was what I deserved . Not only did I hurt Steve but I hurt Jackson too and he didn't deserve it he deserved better they both did , I wiped my tears before walking out of the bedroom and entering the kitchen to go through the draws to find Polly's phone number to her house he had to have it written down somewhere I mean- shit why would he have to have his sisters phone number written down it was his sister for god sakes. I slammed the drawer and walked back down the hallway to get my coat before I heard the phone ring in the kitchen , I quickly ran back into the kitchen hoping it was Steve calling , I picked up the phone and spoke into it saying "hello" the voice on the other side responded saying "hey Y/n it's Jonathan" I sighed saying "hi Jonathan". He responded saying "is everything okay" I nodded saying "yeah it's fine" Jonathan spoke again saying "so uh I'm in town visiting mom and I was wondering if you wanted to meet at Benny's for breakfast tomorrow" I nodded again saying "yeah that sounds good". Jonathan responded saying "so is it just gonna be you or is Jackson coming too" I sighed saying "uh no actually it'll just be me" Jonathan spoke saying "are you sure everything is okay" I responded saying "yeah I'm sure I'm just a bit tired". He spoke saying "oh okay well then I'll see you tomorrow does ten sound good" I nodded saying "yeah ten sounds great I'll see you then" after getting off the phone with Jonathan I put the phone on back onto the reciever before Katie walked into the kitchen saying "hey" I responded saying "hi" she spoke again saying "is everything okay" I sighed before she added "where's Steve" I sighed again saying "he's at his sisters" Katie nodded before opening the freezer and grabbing a carton of ice cream. I spoke saying "Katie I think uh I think were over" she shrugged as she walked over and grabbed a spoon before I added "Steve and I it's over I think after what I did today he's done and honestly if he did the same to me I'd want to be done with him" Katie spoke saying "what did you do". I sighed saying "Katie I've been a bitch to him all day" she sighed saying "so look at your sixteenth birthday he was a asshole to you that day so their you go payback". I shook my head saying "Katie I don't do payback okay I'm just afraid we'll never have those good times again".

****Flashback****

I was folding a pair of jeans up before walking over to the suitcase that I had opened on my bed , I placed the jeans in the suitcase before Jackson tottered in my room , it was a almost a week after Christmas and Jackson who was almost two was still carrying around the stuffed Elmo he had gotten when Steve and I had taken him to the mall to see Santa which of course was a miniature disaster since the minute he sat on Santa's lap Jackson had a major meltdown. Jackson walked over before motioning me to pick him up , I pulled Jackson in my arms before I put him on my bed before saying "are you ready to go see Nanny" he nodded before beginning to roll around on the part of my bed that wasn't taken up by the suitcase , I was packing since Jackson and I were going to be going to Indianapolis with Steve to visit his grandmother or whom Jackson called Nanny. I was pretty excited about the trip , I was a little nervous about the long car ride since Jackson was going through a small phase of not liking to be in his car seat for too long but I knew he'd be excited since Steve and I had planned this trip and we knew it would great and it was always nice to see Nanny. I had finished packing the suitcase when Jackson began to giggle I shrugged that off and went to began to zip up the suitcase when I felt a pair of arms lift me I gasped before knowing it was Steve , he put me down as Jackson began to laugh even more before Steve scoped him up and tickled him before saying "are you ready to go see Nanny" Jackson nodded before saying "Steve" Steve sighed before saying "yes Jackson" Jackson spoke again saying "we go see Nanny now" Steve nodded saying.  "We can go as soon as mommy is done overpacking" I sighed before saying "oh really overpacking , says the guy who on the last trip we went only brought his toothbrush and a pair of jeans". Steve rolled his eyes saying "oh okay missy and who was it that forgot to bring Jackson's pajama's and he had to end up sleeping in an old t-shirt" I chuckled before Jackson spoke up again saying "mama Elmo go see Nanny" I nodded saying "yes baby we can bring Elmo to Nanny's house" Jackson clapped his hands which was something new he was doing anytime he was happy or excited. I finished zipping up the suitcase before I spoke saying "okay are you ready to go to Nanny's" Jackson nodded as I picked him up and walked out of the bedroom with Steve in tow.

It was an hour into what is most of the time a three and a half hour car ride and Jackson was still asleep after he had a small meltdown shortly after getting in the car he fell fast asleep. I was a bit surprised since Jackson wasn't a fan of being in the car so long or taking naps but then again Jackson was a pretty relaxed baby well now a toddler , the sound of his light snores were disturbed when Steve spoke up saying "are you excited" I nodded before he added "I told Nan that we'd be their by dinner" I responded saying "he'll probably be up soon so we should probably stop at some point and get lunch". Steve spoke saying "yeah uh just tell me when you wanna stop" I nodded again before saying "hey thanks for inviting us" he responded saying "yeah of course I mean you guys are family I mean honestly she probably wants to see the two of you more then she wants to see me" I chuckled before he added "you should probably close your eyes for a bit before he wakes up" I responded saying "that's probably a good idea since the last time I took a nap I probably pregnant with him" Steve chuckled before I closed my eyes trying to catch a moments rest before we stopped for lunch.

My eyes began to open when I started to hear Jackson babbling in the backseat of the car , my cheeks went red as I realized that I had drool on my cheek. I quickly wiped it up before I saw that the jacket Steve was wearing early was now on my lap "you uh looked cold" Steve said before I realized that the car was stopped. I looked to see we were in front of a small restaurant that looked to be attached to a small gift shop , Steve spoke again saying "uh I thought you'd be hungry" I finally spoke saying "that uh that sounds good" he nodded before getting out of the car before walking over and opening the door for me I thanked him before getting out of the car and walked over to open the backseat only for Steve to speak up saying "I got it" I stood back and leaned against the car before Steve got Jackson out of the backseat. Jackson yawned a few times before he reached his arms out to me , Steve kissed his cheek before handing Jackson to me before we walked into the small restaurant.

Steve , Jackson and I were sitting in the booth after we had just ordered out food , Jackson was sitting between Steve and I and was trying to stand up and get to absolutely anything on the table. He spoke saying "mama I have num nums" I responded saying "yes baby were gonna get something to eat okay" he nodded before he leaned his head on Steve's shoulder and let out another yawn. Steve spoke saying "hey uh how's your new job" I responded saying "good it's good uh I've been their for a few weeks now it's good but it's only part time since I'm still in school" he nodded saying "that's good uh so what is it that you do again" I spoke saying. "I am uh salesman for publications I answer phone calls from writers or companies that are trying to get a book or a story published and sometimes I get copies sent to me and I have to proof read them the company really small it's uh just a start up so there's not very many people there". Steve nodded saying "that's uh that's really uh interesting" the waitress brought over are food before Steve spoke again saying "so how is he I haven't uh seen him since Christmas I mean he looks like a whole other person" I chuckled saying "well he's starting to get a little attitude I uh I had to put him in timeout yesterday but then again I probably shouldn't have left him with a box of crayons and expect him to not color on the coffee table , I mean I feel bad that your parents bought the table and I was being stupid and-" Steve cut me off saying. "Y/n your not stupid okay I'm the idiot that treated you that way I mean who does that who does those things who leaves , who treats someone they love that way". I responded saying "Steve maybe were both idiots okay lets just move past that and enjoy are trip" he nodded before Jackson spoke up saying "mama I have ice cream now" I responded saying "no baby we can't it's too cold" Jackson huffed before starting to throw a fit. Steve stood up before picking Jackson up and began to walk around the restaurant with Jackson , I felt bad that Steve felt guilty I mean for the longest time I was mad at Steve about what he had done but the fact that he had grown as a person and changed and began to be their more and more and I could tell that Jackson and I were both happy to have him back in our lives , a moment or so later Steve walked back to the table with Jackson who had the biggest smile on his face which is when I realized Steve must've walked into the gift shop and bought him a small stuffed teddy bear with a blue bow on it , he placed him back in the booth before Jackson climbed into my arms and spoke saying "mama I got a bear" I nodded saying "I see that did daddy buy you that" Jackson responded saying "no not daddy Steve" I sighed before Steve took the seat next to me as I spoke saying "I'm sorry I try telling him but-" Steve cut me off saying "it's okay Y/n he's okay he'll say it when he'll say it". I nodded before Jackson leaned over and grabbed the coloring sheet from Steve and spoke saying "no no Steve" I spoke saying "Jackson you need to be nice to daddy" Jackson sighed before Steve spoke up saying "here why don't you come color with daddy while mommy finishes her lunch" Jackson nodded before Steve pulled him onto his lap before I quietly pulled out my camera out of my bag out and captured the moment between the two people I loved most.

Steve had just pulled into his Grandmother's driveway , after lunch the three of us sat in the booth for a few hours and lost track of time before one of the waitresses walked over and told us the restaurant was closing. By the time we got to Nanny's it was eleven at night and beyond past Jackson's bedtime and I couldn't remember the last time I had stayed up past nine o'clock. I pulled a very sleepy Jackson out of his car seat before Steve spoke saying ""you can go inside , I'll get the bags" I nodded saying "it's pretty late Steve do you think she's still up". Steve chuckled saying "are you kidding me Nanny's the biggest night owl , where do you think I get it from" I nodded before I walked up to the house as Jackson was letting out a few yawns . I knocked on the doors a few times before the door opened with Nanny on the other side. she spoke saying "oh finally I thought you kids got lost" I shook my head before she added "well come in I don't want you turning into ice pops". I walked into the house when I began to hear the sound of Nanny's dog Buffy begin to bark causing Jackson to speak up saying "puppy" I nodded before Nanny gestured to take Jackson. I handed Jackson to her before he spoke again saying  "baby" he then gestured toward the picture on the coffee table , Nanny spoke saying "you know who that is" Jackson shook his head before she added. "That is your daddy when he was a baby" Jackson snuggled to the crook of Nanny's neck before the front door opened and closed. Nanny spoke saying "Steven wipe your feet , you better not bring any of that dirty snow in my house" I could hear Steve sigh before Nanny looked and me and spoke saying "I swear he and his father both never could remember to wipe their shoes off but that's not the only thing they forgot to do" I nodded as Steve walked into the living room. He spoke saying " hi Nanny" she responded saying "hi Steven how's school going" I nodded saying "It's going fine thank you" Nanny responded saying "and how's basketball going" Steve frowned saying "uh good uh well not good cause I got kicked off the team". Nanny sighed before I spoke saying "I didn't know that" Steve responded saying "yeah uh I had a feeling it was coming since I kept getting benched but uh they gave the spot to someone else" I frowned before Nanny spoke again saying "now Steven I have some Christmas presents for you kids so once you get settled you can open them" Steve responded saying "Nanny it's Eleven o'clock" she spoke saying "oh is it really then I'm sorry I must've lost track of time talking to Robert" Steve responded saying "who's Robert" Nanny shook her head saying "don't worry about that , So Y/n-" Steve cut Nanny off saying "Nanny do you have a boyfriend" Nanny rolled her eyes before saying "Steven go get the bags while I get Y/n and the baby settled" Steve walked out of the living room before Nanny spoke saying "come on let's get you settled" Nanny walked down the hall as I followed her as well as Buffy. She opened the door to the guest bedroom before she spoke saying "there are fresh towels in the bathroom , is it too cold in here for you I can turn on the heat , I don't want you two to get chilly" I responded saying "It's great Nanny thank you" Nanny spoke saying "sweetheart were family you can call me Lucille" I nodded before she added "oh goodness he's gotten so big I can't believe my great grandbaby is going to be two ,  I mean I can't imagine how you feel I mean I remember when Steven's father was this age and mean by then I was pregnant with my second". I nodded before Nanny spoke again saying "do you think your going to have anymore kids" I shrugged saying "oh I uh don't know I mean I thought I would but I think I'm done , I wouldn't be opposed to more but I'm good with just Jackson for now" she nodded before their was a knock on the door. I turned to see Steve standing their with the suitcase , Nanny spoke saying "I'll let you two get settled , Steven and I need to speak" I nodded before Nanny handed Jackson to me and walked out of the guest bedroom.

Steve's P.O.V

I walked into the living room before taking a seat on the couch next to Buffy and placed my feet on the coffee table before I heard Nanny speak. "Steven get your dirty shoes off my coffee table" I sighed before she added "what is wrong with you" I sighed again saying "Nanny my feet are off the coffee table I-" she cut me off saying "Steven the two of you were like water and oil seriously what is wrong with you , I mean I've probably have gotten more action then-" I cut Nanny off saying "Nanny what do you want me to do , I can't just go and crawl in bed with her and spoon her that's weird". Nanny shook her head saying "oh please you watched her give birth there is nothing you can do that's weird" I stayed quiet since I wasn't their when Jackson was born , I instead ran out of the room like a coward. Nanny spoke up saying "Steven you were their when she gave birth weren't you" I sighed before Nanny added "are you kidding me for god sakes you and your father are the biggest chickens I've ever met , do you know that when your sister was born I had to be in the room holding your mothers hand cause he was in the waiting room puking his guts out". I frowned before Nanny added "well then I hope you like sleeping on the floor cause theirs's only one guest bedroom and your girl is in their" I rolled my eyes saying "what about the couch" Nanny responded saying "no I'm expecting a very important phone call" I sighed saying "really and important phone call at almost midnight is that from your boyfriend" Nanny rolled her eyes saying "ask me again and you'll sleep in your car" I sighed again before walking down the hallway to check on Y/n and Jackson.

I knocked on the bedroom door before hearing a voice say "come in" I opened the door to see Y/n holding Jackson , she spoke again saying "do you mind getting him in his pajamas" I nodded before she walked over and handed Jackson to me , Y/n then stepped in the bathroom while I got Jackson's pajamas on him. After I had gotten Jackson in his pajamas I heard the bathroom door creek open a bit , I looked up before Y/n popped her head out of the door saying "uh do you mind stepping out for a minute" I shook my head before walking out of the bedroom.

Y/n's P.O.V I walked out of the bathroom before going over to the suitcase to grab my pajamas before realizing that I had forgotten something I realized I brought no diapers for Jackson. I sighed before putting back on the clothes I wore earlier , after I was redressed I scooped Jackson in my arms before opening the bedroom door to see Steve standing in the hallway , he spoke saying. "Is everything okay" I sighed saying "you don't get to laugh but I didn't bring him any Diapers" Steve nodded saying "oh so you forgot something" I rolled my eyes before he added "that's fine we can run out real quick" I responded saying "do you mind holding him for a second I gotta grab my bag-" Steve cut me off saying "no don't worry about it I'll pay" I sighed saying "Steve I-" he again cut me off saying. "Y/n it's just a pack of diapers it's no big deal" I nodded before walking down the hall with Steve , we entered the living room to see Nanny sitting on the couch talking on the phone. She put the phone down on her shoulder before saying "is something wrong" I shook my head saying "we just need to run out and grab a pack of diapers" Nanny responded saying "oh do you want me to watch the baby" I shook my head again saying "no we'll just-" Nanny cut me off saying "oh nonsense I'll watch the baby you two kids go out" I responded saying "oh no your busy-" Nanny cut me off saying "it's no big deal I call Rob- I mean my friend later you two kids go out and enjoy yourselves". Steve spoke up saying "Nanny it's not-" this time Nanny cut Steve off saying "Steven just go now please" Steve sighed saying "we'll be back in ten minutes" Nanny responded saying "oh take your time" Steve rolled his eyes before we walked out of the house.

Ten minutes later Steve and I were in his car still driving around trying to look for someplace that was still opened so late in the night , we drove before seeing a twenty four hour convenient store. Steve pulled into the parking lot before we both stepped out of the car and walked into the store , I walked down an isle to grab a pack of diapers only to turn around and see that Steve wasn't their. I sighed before walking around the small store looking for him only to find him with a small shopping basket with a few items in it , I walked up to him before saying "I thought we came here to buy diapers" he shook his head saying "oh I just picked up a few necessities" I chuckled saying. "So ice cream , sour cream and onion chips and pop tarts are necessities" he nodded saying "yes besides Nanny doesn't have any of this stuff" I sighed before he added "are you ready" I nodded before we walked up to the register to check out.

As the cashier began to scan the items she gave Steve and I a funny look before finally saying "is this you first" I furrowed my brows before she added "are you pregnant with your first" my jaw feel before she spoke again saying "oh I assumed with the food and the diapers that you were". I silently shook my head before feeling extremely embarrassed especially since that all happened in front of Steve , after paying for the items Steve and I silently walked back to his car and got in. We began to drive home back to Nanny's or so I thought. I spoke up saying "Steve where are we going" Steve responded saying "I uh wanted to show you something" I nodded before Steve continued driving.

A few minutes later Steve spoke saying "okay close you eyes" I rolled my eyes before closing them , I didn't know how much time had passed before Steve spoke again saying "okay I'll come around and get you , keep your eyes shut" I sighed before feeling the car stop , I heard the passenger door open before he added "okay reach out your hand" I held my hand out before Steve took it. I couldn't remember the last time I walked hand and hand with Steve but I missed it , a moment later we stopped walking before Steve spoke saying "okay open them" I opened my eyes before taking in the view which was a lake with a patch of greenery in front of a lake with a small waterfall. I gasped before saying "it's beautiful" he nodded before saying "we uh used to out here all the time when I was a kid , it was weird cause no matter how cold it got , no mater if their was snow on the ground the lake never froze over"  I nodded before he added "I knew I wanted to show it to you when Jackson and I were in the gift shop and I saw that stuffed bear , when I uh was seven my dad , Polly and I came out here and went for a hike and uh we forgot to put our lunch away and when we came back their were two bear cubs eating our leftovers". I chuckled before leaning my head on Steve shoulder before saying "it's amazing , it's really amazing" Steve responded saying "wanna have a picnic" I took Steve's hand to look at his watch before saying "at one thirty in the morning there wouldn't be anyone else I'd rather have a picnic with then you" he chuckled before he walked back to the car.

Steve and I were laying on the hood of the car looking at the stars , I couldn't help but think about how it felt so much like the old days . I also could help but feel a tad bit excited when I felt Steve reach for my hand , I felt like I could just stay here forever in this moment in time. "Y/n did you hear me" Steve said , I shook my head before he added "I said do you wanna go swimming" I chuckled saying "ha very funny" Steve furrowed his brows saying "what's funny" I responded saying "you are ,  seriously you wanna go swimming" he nodded before I added "in December , in the middle of nowhere without a bathing suit you want to go swimming" he nodded again before I spoke saying "have fun". he laughed saying "oh come on you have to go with me" I shook my head saying "no way your crazy" Steve responded saying. "Y/n come on what happened to your sense of adventure , come on please just do this with me" I rolled my eyes saying "no way I mean if I was considering it , which I'm not we don't even have our swimsuits" Steve nodded saying "true but uh their is the good old fashioned skinny dipping" I rolled my eyes again saying. "Oh you've got to be kidding me really that's wow that's you know I'm-" Steve cut me off saying "Jesus Yl/n I didn't think you'd get all flustered at that suggestion". I rolled my eyes saying "I'm not getting flustered I'm just I uh no I'm not doing it I-" Steve cut me off saying "oh wait a second were you considering it" I shook my head as he added "oh no your were I know that face you were thinking about it" I shook my head again saying "I was not that is ridiculous it's too cold out to be doing that" Steve sighed saying "oh your so lame Yl/n" I rolled my eyes before he added "okay last call are you going" I shook my head before saying "no thank you I don't wanna freeze" Steve sighed saying "well you snooze you loose , and I swear that water may look cold but it warm I promise" I shook my head again before he added "great then you can hold my clothes" I shook my head before Steve got up from the car and began to peel off his shirt. Oh god this had to be a dream- I mean I don't dream about things like this but there's no way this was seriously happening. Ex boyfriends and girlfriends don't go skinny dipping together especially in the middle of winter on- "are you coming in" I looked up to realize Steve was already in the water. I shook my head before he  responded saying "you know your so boring" I rolled my eyes saying "uh huh I not going sorry not after last time" He chuckled saying "please I'll be you best friend and  I promise those brats won't come back and steal are clothes". I scoffed before getting off the car and peeling off my coat before saying "look away" he nodded before turning in the other direction. I dipped my toe in the water before realizing that maybe Steve was right the water was surprisingly warm for December-

~~~~~~~~~~ "Wait a minute you did not , did not go skinny dipping with Steve" I sighed saying "Helen would you let me finish telling the story please" she chuckled before adding "Y/n I mean why would you do that it's cold out , it's the middle of nowhere and I mean it's Steve why would you do that". I shrugged saying "I don't know it was just different and I haven't really done anything like that , anything-" Helen cut me off saying "stupid you haven't done anything stupid". I scoffed saying "it's not stupid if you were their you would've done that" she shook her head saying "with Steve absolutely not" I sighed saying "I meant you would've done that with someone you care about". Helen shook her had saying "oh my god , oh my god your still in love with him" I sighed again saying "no I-" she cut me off saying "yes you are oh my god it's clear as day your still in love with him" I huffed saying "okay Helen can I finish my story" she nodded saying "yes just can we skip over the stuff that happened in the water please were close but were not that close and I don't feel like losing my lunch". ~~~~~~~~~~ Steve and I had just finished drying off before he spoke saying "we uh should probably get back" I nodded silently since after we had gotten out of the water we hadn't said a single word to each other. It was awkward , defiantly awkward I mean I imagine it would be awkward for anyone to see their ex without any clothes on. After getting out clothes back on we got back in the car before I starting thinking about how the second we got out of the water that Steve had towels. I mean why would he have towels in his car in December I mean he didn't plan on any of that happening did he. As Steve began to drive away I spoke saying "so uh do you mind if I ask where you got the ideas to keep those towels in your car". Steve shrugged saying "I uh guess I just had them in my car from during the summer , I mean we went to the pool a lot" I responded saying "yeah but we mostly went to the pool at your house" Steve sighed before saying "right  yeah uh but-" I cut Steve off saying "Steve did you plan us going there" he sighed again saying "yes but before you get mad I didn't plan it that way-" I cut Steve off again saying "I cannot believe you , you know what I actually can god that is something you'd do and uh fell for it I fell right for it". Steve shook his head saying "Y/n I didn't plan on it happening tonight , I was planning on us coming up during the summer okay-" I cut Steve off saying "oh bullshit Steve you totally planned on this god I just you know what I hope you got a good look cause you'll never see that again" Steve responded saying "Y/n your not listening to me okay I didn't plan that I mean I did but that was just random I swear to god that I had planned this for the summer and we were going to go as a family". I shook my head saying "were not a family Steve okay you made that choice and it's too late were not a family and were never going to be" Steve frowned before pulling into the driveway before he spoke saying "you uh can go inside I'll be their in a minute" I grabbed the bag from the convenient store before walking in the house leaving Steve.

Steve's P.O.V Bullshit , I swear that word would haunt me for the rest of my life every time I heard it I felt like I instantly went back to that stupid Halloween party and I could hear Nancy repeat the words to me. Tonight was stupid I should've waited till summer like I planned but I just got excited , excited about showing the person I cared most for my favorite place but I messed up. I walked into Nanny's house before hearing her speak saying "you blew it Steve" I sighed saying "that's not news" she responded saying "do you wanna talk about it or do you wanna go apologize". I sighed saying "what's the point she's still mad at me she'll always be mad at me" I walked over to the couch before collapsing on it before Nanny spoke again saying "you know a long time ago your father did the same thing , your mom and his got into some dumb fight and your dad sat on that couch and cried like a baby and you know what I did. I told him to get off his ass , dry his eyes and go back to his girl and nine months later you were here so your welcome for that". I rolled my eyes before she spoke again saying "hey when you go home you cannot tell your father about Robert okay you know how sensitive he gets" I nodded before saying "do you miss him grandpa" she nodded saying "I do and if he was here he'd probably smack you on the back of the head and tell you to grow a pair" I scoffed before she added "go tell her your sorry I'm sure you screwed up- you know what go get Y/n I wanna talk to her" I nodded before I stood up saying "did he uh go down for you okay" she responded saying. "He did , she did a really good job with him your pretty damn lucky you got the perfect kid I mean you were a mess you must've been glued to your mothers hip till you were five god you were so ridiculous and don't even get me started on the blanket nonsense" I rolled my eyes before walking down the hall. I knocked on the bedroom door before the door opened reveling Y/n on the other side she spoke saying. "What do you want" I responded saying "Nanny wants to talk to you and I want you to know I'm sorry about tonight that was stupid I'm sorry" she ignored my words before walking past me down the hall.

Y/n's P.O.V I walked into the living room to see Nanny sitting in the chair across from the couch , I don't know why I was nervous I mean I had talked to Nanny before but never alone until now. She spoke saying "sit dear I think we should talk" I took the seat on the couch before she spoke again saying "I just want to apologize" I responded saying "for what Nanny you've been great" she sighed saying "I invited Steve to come up during the summer , he wanted to plan it out so I helped him and last minute something came up and I had to cancel on him. Steven was crushed he really wanted to bring you up two up here , he wanted to take you two to the zoo and all over. He planned on taking you to the spot for the afternoon just the three of you , he planned a lunch and everything he was pretty upset when I told him we had to cancel since he had already packed the car and I felt pretty bad since I cancel for a very selfish reason. I have been seeing someone and uh I didn't want John finding out because of how close he was with his father when Steve passed I think John took it the hardest". I furrowed my brows trying to take in what Nanny had said before she added "oh Steve didn't tell you , Steve's named after his grandfather he uh got sick when Jenifer was pregnant with Steve he uh got sick and uh he fought hard so he could be their for when those kids grew up. He wanted nothing more then to see Steve become a father and have a son of his own to have those moments with him and when I was with Jackson tonight I swear to god he had the same sparkle in his eyes that Steven had , the same sparkle I'd never thought I'd be able to see again. My god you and that baby are the best thing that's happened to this family if it wasn't for you and Jackson this family would've probabaly gone to shit but that's besides the point. I'm not telling you that Steve and you should get back together I'm telling you to never lose the idea of it happen you can't lose that love you can't forget you can't pretend it never happened because it gave you that baby that wonderful sweet miracle baby. So just don't ever lose it don't ever think it won't happen cause you never know I mean I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with my life with husband and his damn heart gave out on him. so please just promise me you will always keep your heart open". I felt tears prick my eyes at Nanny's words , I couldn't possible imagine the heart ache she's had to endure and I didn't ever want to feel that pain and I didn't wish it upon anyone. I wiped my eyes and nodded before Nanny spoke again saying "my god look at the time god I'm sorry I didn't mean to be all sappy" I responded saying "no it's okay it I uh I'm sorry about all-" she cut me off saying "oh honey don't I've heard it all before but it's uh getting late we uh should go to bed we can talk about this in the morning" I nodded before saying goodnight to Nanny.

I walked into the bedroom before seeing Jackson and Steve snuggle together on the bed , I sighed before walking into the bathroom and changing in some pajama's. After I had gotten changed I walked back into the bedroom to see that they were still asleep and now snoring almost as if it were in unison , I pulled the covers back before crawling into bed with them before placing a kiss on Steve's cheek before saying "I love you".

******Flashback Over******

I got out of bed since I knew soon I'd have to leave for breakfast with Jonathan , I wiped my tears before walking over and grabbing clothes to wear. I peeled off Steve's sweater that I had wore to bed so I could have something similar too him even though nothing could replace Steve really being there. After I had gotten dressed I walked into the bathroom to clean off my dried up mascara and the smudged lipstick I had put on for the party last night , it was odd being alone. It was the first time I had been alone since Steve and I had gotten back together , if Steve wasn't their I would at least have Jackson but not having either of them hurt worst. I walked out of the bathroom before making myself look somewhat presentable and look like I had gotten more then a few hours of sleep , I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water when I noticed the sticky note attached to the fridge I pulled it off the fridge before reading it.

Went out with mom, be back later. -Katie

I sighed before I walked into living room only to be mocked by Steve's birthday present that I had left on the coffee table , I ignored it and tried my best not to cry when I saw it before grabbing my coat out of the coat closet , I then grabbed my bag before walking out of the apartment and headed to Benny's.

I pulled into the Benny's parking lot before putting on the fakest smile I could , I then grabbed my bag and walked into the diner. It had been a while since just Jonathan and I had hung out since after Jonathan had graduated he moved to New York , Jackson and I visited him quite a few times but it had been a while. I walked into Benny's and began to walk to the booth Jonathan and I always sat in , before Jackson was born Jonathan and I would always meet at Benny's on Saturday mornings for breakfast and even after Jackson was born we would still meet but I always would bring Jackson which Jonathan of course didn't mind. I saw Jonathan sitting at the booth alone or so I thought , I noticed Jonathan was laughing and that's when I realized Jonathan wasn't alone , Nancy was their too. I at first thought that maybe Jonathan forgot about our plans or that I maybe dreamt the past few days , if I did then this was one awful nightmare and I wanted to wake up and have Steve their with me. Jonathan looked up and waved to me before I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat before walking over to him. I had meet Nancy only a few times but just in passing either when she was with Steve or during the few times I had babysat her younger brother so I had a bad feeling this would be awkward. I took the seat across from Nancy and Jonathan , I gave a fake smile trying my best to be polite and also since I didn't know what to say to Jonathan since last night on the phone it was supposed to be just us like the old times. It was awkward almost as awkward as when I had to speak to Nancy when her and Steve were together- oh god did she know that Steve and I were back together my thoughts were then interrupted when I noticed something sparkly and shinny on Nancy's ring finger , it was an engagement ring which could only mean her and Jonathan were engaged.

The three of us sat in silence except for when we ordered are food , after the waitress took are order and silence resumed Nancy decided to break the silence by saying. "So uh how are you-" she didn't know my name not until Jonathan mumbled "Y/n" under his breath. Nancy spoke again saying " oh right Y/n" she said before adding "what uh have you been up to" I responded saying "nothing much" Nancy nodded saying "are you still single" I shook my head saying "no uh I have a boyfriend" Nancy responded saying "who" I sighed saying "Steve". Nancy had a confused look on her face before saying "oh Steve Lewis he's nice I uh think I had him in my homeroom" I sighed again saying "oh no um Steve Harrington" Nancy's face went blank before the waitress brought over are food. After I thanked her the silence returned , I picked around the food on my plate since I hadn't had an apatite since last night.

A few minutes of eating in awkward silence Nancy excused herself and left Jonathan and I alone , I spoke saying "hey Jonathan" he nodded before I added "can I ask you something" he nodded again as I spoke saying "why the hell didn't' you tell me". Jonathan responded saying "oh about Nancy" I nodded before he continued saying "I thought you'd be cool with it" I nodded again saying. "I am but last night on the phone it was just going to be us , you know like old times" Jonathan responded saying "yeah but I assumed you'd bring Jackson like you always do" I sighed saying "Jonathan I-" he cut me off saying "Y/n it's not like the old times okay , I'm sorry but it won't ever be like that again okay" I rolled my eyes before saying "did uh you visit your mom yet" he shook his head saying "no , why did something happen" I shook my head saying "uh I'll let her tell you" Jonathan sighed before I grabbed some money out of my bag and placed it on the table since I was so peeved that Jonathan tainted our tradition , I spoke saying. "This uh should cover for my food , congratulations by the way" he scoffed before I grabbed my bag and walked out of Benny's.

Steve's P.O.V

I was awoken when I felt someone shake my arm , I sighed and wiped the sleep out of my eyes before a voice spoke. "Steve come on get up" it was Polly , I sighed again before she added "come on okay I know your all pissed cause of your birthday but come on get over it". I grabbed the pillow beside me and tossed at my sister , she then huffed and walked out of the room before a moment later I felt a weight on me. I opened my eyes before seeing Jackson all cuddled to me. I spoke saying "good morning" he responded saying "daddy can we do something today" I sat up before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and spoke saying "sure buddy what do you wanna do" Jackson responded saying "can we go out for breakfast" I nodded saying "do you wanna go to Benny's" Jackson nodded saying "can we go with mommy or are you still mad at her" I sighed saying "Jackson I'm not mad at mommy but I was thinking maybe just you and I could go out and do something , you know when was the last time you and I got to go out and do something just the two of us and you know what think of it as an extra birthday present". Jackson frowned before saying "you didn't like my card" I shook my head saying "no I did , daddy loved your card it was my favorite gift" he nodded before I spoke saying "okay go tell aunt Polly and I'll be out in five minutes" Jackson nodded again before running out of the room.

After I had gotten ready I walked out of the bedroom before hearing the front door open and close , I walked into the living room to see my mom standing their she then walked over to me and pulled me into a hug before saying. "How are you holding up sweetie" I sighed saying "I'm fine mom" she responded saying "are you sure , I don't want this to cause you to spiral or go on one of you outburst" I sighed saying "I'm sure mom". Polly spoke up saying "I invited mom to go out to breakfast" I responded saying "but I didn't invite you" Polly rolled her eyes saying "too bad I invited myself and your buying" I sighed before we left for Benny's.

We walked into Benny's before taking a seat in a booth before Jackson spoke up saying "daddy when can we go see mommy" I shrugged saying "I'm uh not sure buddy". He frowned saying "well did mommy say sorry yet" I nodded saying "yes she-" Jackson cut me off saying "then why are you still mad". I huffed saying "Jackson I already told you I'm not mad at mommy" Jackson frowned again before mom spoke up saying "how about we don't bug daddy about that" Jackson sighed saying "I was just asking a question and mommy was right he is grumpy" I huffed before the waitress came over to take our orders. After she took our orders Mom spoke saying "you know when she comes back I think I'll order a milkshake I can't remember the last time I had a chocolate shake from Benny's". Polly chuckled saying "your going to have a milkshake for breakfast" mom nodded before she added "don't you think that's-"Polly was cut off by Jackson saying "daddy can I go talk to uncle Jonathan" I shrugged before he pointed to a booth and who of course was sitting their but Jonathan and Nancy. I shook my head saying "not right now" he sighed saying "why not" I responded saying "I don't wanna bother them" Jackson spoke again saying "daddy who is uncle Jonathan with" I shrugged before he added "do you know her". I shook my head again before Polly spoke saying "isn't that Nancy" I shrugged saying "I don't know I wasn't paying attention" Polly rolled her eyes saying "that's weird I don't remember Nancy wearing glasses" I shook my head saying "what are you talking about no she doesn't" Polly huffed saying "oh so maybe you were paying attention idiot". Mom spoke saying "Polly watch your language infront of your nephew" Polly rolled her eyes before saying "you know mom babying Steve is one thing but babying Jackson is a whole other thing in itself" Mom shook her head before saying "so Steven your father is off today so I was going to take Jackson home with me so he can see him" I responded saying "that's fine mom" she nodded before saying "I mean you could come with us too I mean I wouldn't mind you staying with us" I shook my head saying "I'm good" she nodded again before Polly spoke up saying "okay how long is this whatever you wanna call it between you and Y/n going cause David's supposed to be back in a week and I don't want my mopey and annoying little brother around when he does" I rolled my eyes before mom spoke up again saying "Polly you need to learn to have patience I swear since the moment you were born their hasn't been a patient bone in your body" Polly scoffed saying "oh please mother I've been dealing with him for twenty three years I deserve a break besides isn't she at your apartment I mean why don't you just kick her out". Mom gasped saying "Polly how could you say that" she rolled her eyes before I responded saying "I would never do that and besides it's not just her it's Katie and Oliver" Mom responded saying "I thought his name was Patrick" Polly shook her head saying "no Patrick is Ollie's deadbeat father" Mom sighed saying "well I didn't know Kathrine had a baby when did that happen" Polly responded saying "neither did I until I ran into her and Donna at the mall which reminds me I have to go visit Donna later she had her baby early this morning" Mom spoke saying "I didn't know Donna was pregnant either , you kids need to start telling me things more often" Polly rolled her eyes before a voice spoke "Steve" I then turned to see who else but Nancy. Polly and Moms jaw feel before she added "it's uh been a while" she wasn't lying it had been a while , a little over four years. I nodded silently before she spoke again saying "well uh I don't wanna bother I just wanted to say hi" I silently waved before she walked away from the table only for Polly to break out into a fit of laughter , mom sighed saying "oh Polly your a mess" Polly continued to laugh before the waitress brought over are food.

Y/n's P.O.V

I walked into the apartment before walking into the Livingroom to see Katie putting Ollie in his car seat. She spoke saying "So uh how was your breakfast" I shrugged before saying "where did you go this morning" she responded saying "oh I went over to see mom and dad and uh dad let me know about your little meltdown at the station" I rolled my eyes before she added. "Also while you were gone uncle Jim called wanting to know if you were still going to come over and hang out with the kids" I sighed since I completely forgot about that until Katie had just brought it up. I spoke saying "where are you off to now" Katie responded saying "the hospital , Donna had the baby this morning" my jaw fell before she added "do you want to come" I responded saying "uh sure I guess" Katie nodded saying "good you can drive , I was up half the night with Ollie and I'm exhausted" I nodded before Katie and I left for the hospital.

Katie and I had arrived at the hospital and were walking to the room Donna was in before she spoke saying "I think the last time I was at a hospital Ollie was born , how about you". I responded saying "the last time I was here Jackson was getting his appendix out" Katie furrowed her brows saying "you never told me about that" . I sighed saying "it's a long story" we got to the hospital room before Katie lightly knocked on the door before opening it , on the other side was Donna who was sitting up in the hospital bed holding of course the baby , Danica was right next to Donna leaning her head on Donna's shoulder. Donna spoke saying "hi guys" Katie responded saying "how is she" Donna responded saying "good everything good" I spoke saying "I thought you weren't due till next month" Donna shrugged saying "I guess she decided to surprise up , where's uh Jackson and Steve" I ignored her question before Katie spoke saying "oh that's not important , what's important it how does Danica feel about having to share a birthday with her baby sister" Donna sighed saying "she was a little upset at first but I think she's doing much better , hey Dani why don't you tell them what baby sister's name is" Danica nodded saying "my sisters name is Delilah" Katie responded saying "oh and do you like baby Delilah" Danica nodded before Donna spoke saying "do you wanna hold her Y/n" I nodded silently before Donna added "are you okay I mean somethings off with you". I responded saying "I'm fine Donna just uh a little tired I guess". I nodded again before taking the baby from Donna , if I was being honest I missed this being able to hold a baby. Jackson was almost seven and the only time he ever wanted to be cuddled with or held was when he didn't feel good and before Jackson I wasn't a fan of cuddling but the first time I held my precious baby boy and got to cuddle him changed my mind and I absolutely loved to cuddle with him. It was sad to see him grow up but at the same time it was exciting to see him grown and learn and become his own person with his own personality , likes and dislikes but then their was still this sadness that I was losing my baby boy and I didn't think I was ready for that. "You know" Katie said before adding "Y/n's thinking about having another baby" I sighed since after Steve and I's argument I was pretty sure there was no chance at us being able to have another baby but after what I had done to Steve I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve another baby with his laugh or his smile , I didn't deserve one with his freckles or his nose and his beautiful brown eyes I feel in love with all those years ago. I shook my head saying "I uh actually don't think that's going to be happening" Donna responded saying "are you sure I mean I never thought I would either but now I can't imagine life without Delilah" I nodded saying "yeah but I uh think I'm good with just one" Katie scoffed saying "what happened and please don't say it's because of that stupid fight". Donna spoke again saying "what fight" Katie huffed saying "oh yesterday was Steve's birthday-" Donna cut Katie off saying "oh listen I wanted to talk to you about that Y/n I'm sorry we didn't show up it's just I was starting to feel contractions and I didn't know if they were real ones or Braxton hicks" I nodded before Katie added.  "Anyways so it was Steve's birthday and Y/n was being all moody and her and Steve had a stupid fight and she's now upset because she thinks they've broken up". Oh shit I didn't think of that , were Steve and I broken up I mean are fight was pretty big but it wasn't break up worthy was it I mean if Steve had done to me what I did I knew I'd probably break up with him so were we still together.

Steve's P.O.V

It was a few hours after Jackson went home with my mom and I was honestly pretty lonely without him , I mean sure I had my sister but I didn't remember the last time I hung out with just my sister. "So" Polly said before adding "I uh wanted to say I'm sorry about what I said earlier" I responded saying "it's fine I'm over it" she huffed saying "well it doesn't look like your over it". Before I could say anything else the doorbell rang , Polly stood up before walking out of the room a moment or so later I heard my sister scream causing me to get up from the couch to walk into the entryway only to see my sister standing their with her boyfriend David. I sighed before walking back into the Livingroom to take my place back on the couch next to Buster , I sat their for a few moments before Polly and David returned to the living room. Polly was about to speak again before she was interrupted this time by the phone ringing she sighed before walking out of the living room leaving me and David alone. David spoke saying "uh hey man there's uh something I've been wanting to talk to you about" oh god I really didn't hope this is what my mom was talking about yesterday. David spoke again saying "uh so your sister and I have been together for a while and uh I've been trying to talk to your dad but he's been ignoring me and kinda hiding from me but I was wondering if I could have your permission to ask your sister to marry me". Oh god why , why did he have to ask me I mean why do I care I mean I do sorta care but with everything going on this just hurt and I know David had no clue what was going on but it still hurt. I responded saying "yeah I guess so sure" he nodded before I heard Polly call for me , I walked into the kitchen before she put the phone down and her shoulder and spoke saying "it's Y/n do you wanna talk to her" I shook my head knowing I wasn't ready to talk to her yet Polly sighed saying "well what do I do she sounds pretty upset" I responded saying "I don't know just tell her I'm not here or something".

Y/n's P.O.V

"I'm sorry Y/n but Steve's not here" Polly said before I felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I spoke saying "could you uh tell him to give me a call when he gets back" Polly responded saying "sure I'll let him know" I wiped my tears before saying my goodbyes to Polly. I hung up the phone and walked back to the bedroom before continuing to cry , I don't know what hurt worse knowing I hurt Steve or hearing that he didn't wanna talk to me. I knew he was their , I heard him  tell Polly to tell me he wasn't their and after how I treated him I deserved it. I changed into some more comfortable clothes so I could try to take a small nap before going over to Joyce's since I was afraid I was getting to tired. I began to look around for a warm sweater of Steve's I could wear before hearing a knock on the bedroom door , I spoke saying "come in" before drying more of my tears. Katie walked in with a box in her arms before saying "your still upset huh" I nodded before she walked over and put the box on the bed before saying  "you know he's not innocent he's done his fair share of things" I side before she added "now I don't want you t get angry but I lost one of Ollie's sock and when I looked under the bed in the other room I found this" she then gestured to the box before she continued "now I know your hurt but if you saw what was in here I think you'd get over it" I walked over thinking maybe it was the box that had all the letters in it I had written to Steve over the years or maybe it was the box filled with all the pictures that we had yet to put up in the apartment. I opened the box to see it was filled with what appeared to be magazines , I pulled one of the magazines out of the box to see it wasn't just a magazine but a dirty one. I could feel the color out of my face flush before I dropped it back in the box , I thought all the air had left my lungs. I spoke saying "how the hell is that supposed to make me feel better that's-" she cut me off saying "heartbreaking isn't it , it hurts when you realize that he doesn't care about you , that your not the only women in his life I mean this is the same guy who cheated on you when you were pregnant and your going to stay with him. Y/n what if you for some stupid reason decide to have another baby huh what if he does it again , what if he cheats on you again with someone you knew-" I cut her off saying "it was never with someone I knew-" Katie cut me off saying "it was Matt's sister didn't you know her and think about it if he cheats on you again he wouldn't be hurting just you , he'd also hurt Jackson I mean if your willing to put Jackson in that situation then your a terrible person and an awful mother". I felt even more tears prick my eyes before Katie added. "I huh I just don't want you to get hurt okay I want you to realize their are other people out their besides Steve" I scoffed saying "I know that I-" Katie cut me off saying "no you don't , you don't know so what you slept with Stewart a few times who doesn't sleep with their best friend once or twice it's no big deal but actually try to date someone". I rolled my eyes saying "I've tried dating okay , I've been on dates , I've had a boyfriend and it didn't work okay I need him , I need Steve" Katie sighed saying "you know I used to really respect you for doing it on your own and being a single mom but the fact that you just run back to him whenever you need affection is ridiculous , he dumps a girl and the next day he's in bed with you it's ridiculous". My jaw feel before Katie added "oh you didn't think mom told me about that Alison girl , I mean have you thought about what's gonna happen when she shows up with that baby" I responded saying "she wasn't pregnant Katie she made it up". Katie scoffed saying "so you don't think there's someone else out their with his kid I mean seriously he's sleep with everyone I'm sure he's got another kid out their hell he's probably got a few out their and the fact you considering having another one with him is ridiculous". I shook my head saying "no I'm not letting you do this okay , your not taking this away from me" Katie scoffed saying "take what away- oh god your already pregnant aren't you god that's why you've been all moody and that's why you haven't been drinking lately. Y/n why am I not surprised with you I mean is that what that was out their what were you gonna call him and tell him and expect him to come back to you I hate to break it to you but that's not how it goes if it did Patrick would still be around". I sighed before realizing what's been infront of me this whole time , Katie was hurt I didn't know if she was hurt by seeing Steve and I together or hurt that she had to go through what I went through. I knew her pain , I knew what it felt like to have the father of my child not be around and feeling angry at them yet feeling sad that they were missing their child's life. I then realized that Katie was stalling me on purpose last night and I knew why because if I wasn't their she'd be alone and I knew when I was in that position that loneliness was the worst part of it all. I sighed before pulling my sister in a hug before saying "I'm sorry" she responded saying "I'm sorry too I just I just don't want you getting hurt but I shouldn't have snapped and I shouldn't have eavesdropped or snopped or hogged you last night , this stupid fight you two are having is all my fault". I shook my head saying "no it's not it's my fault god I mean why do sisters always have to fight" she shook her head saying "I don't know but let's not do it anymore". I nodded before she added "so what can I do to help this whole situation" I responded saying "well I'll try calling again when I get back" Katie shook her head saying "no I'll go watch the kids and you go to him" I sighed saying "I can't" Katie responded saying "why not". I frowned saying "he isn't going to want to see me and besides I don't really know what to say" Katie responded saying "start with sorry and if he doesn't want to see you too bad" I shook my head saying "you know I'll go over their tomorrow I haven't seen the kids in a while". Katie responded saying  "are you sure" I nodded before she added "okay then so before you go you should probably try and figure out what your going to say" I nodded before Katie and walked out of the bedroom.

Steve's P.O.V "your going to call her or I will" Polly said before I sighed saying "I'm not talking to her" Polly shook her head saying "that's too bad okay I'm not babying you like mom okay your a grown man act like one". I rolled my eyes before David spoke saying " okay I'm still confused on what's going on" Polly sighed saying "my idiot brother is all pissed because Y/n didn't show up to his stupid birthday party yesterday". David nodded before I spoke up saying "that's not just it okay ever since Katie's been their she's been hogging Y/n and I'm not mad because it's me she's ignoring she's ignoring Jackson too and he doesn't deserve that". Polly scoffed saying "oh I'm sorry the guy who abandoned that kid for a year but only used him when it made him look good is gonna tell me what he needs". I responded saying "he doesn't deserve that he deserves better" Polly shook her head saying "well she's his mom you can't do that you can't take him away from her" I sighed saying "I'm not trying to take him away from her I'm trying to give him a break and let him not have to sit their and have her ignore him I mean I don't know if I even want to have another kid with her". Polly put her hands in her head before saying "she's pregnant oh you idiot why would you-" I cut her off saying "she's not okay it's just we've been talking about it and now I don't even know if that's what I want I mean I'd like to marry her before doing that so we could maybe do something in the correct order but her dad shut me down twice". Polly sighed saying "oh uh didn't know you two were ever gonna do that" I nodded saying "yeah I mean I've wanted to marry her since I was five" Polly chuckled saying "I forgot about that" David spoke up saying "forgot about what" Polly responded saying. "This one came home from the first day of kindergarten  talking all about this girl and how she was the love of his life and he was going to marry her someday but didn't she' push you" I nodded saying "yeah but I was kinda asking for I kinda used to pick on Y/n a lot" Polly responded saying "I didn't know that" I nodded saying "yeah uh I stole on of her crayons in kindergarten and in uh second grade I cheated off her spelling test oh and in uh third grade I uh paint in her shoes". Polly shook her head saying "you two have a really weird way of showing affection to one another" I nodded before she added "okay so have you tried talking to her mom , I mean maybe her dad said no because of last time". David spoke up again saying "what do you mean last time" Polly huffed saying "will you keep up Steve and Y/n were engaged when she was pregnant with Jackson which in my opinion made no sense because you'd have to wait two years but that's fine I mean I don't even know why it was broken off". I responded saying "Y/n broke it off cause I started spiraling again" Polly sighed saying "well before you do ask her you should probably quit drinking cause you can't slip up like you did last time". I sighed saying "it was one beer and it was my birthday and I was having a pretty hard day okay get off my back" Polly responded saying "excuses , excuses Steve okay one beer leads to two and two leads to thee and before you know it your beyond wasted you've got to stop okay it's not healthy" I rolled my eyes before saying "I have control okay" Polly scoffed saying "oh so the guy who cheated on his pregnant girlfriend now claims he has self control , where was self control when you hooked up with Heather or Lizzy or Ally or whatever the hell Matt's sisters name is where's your self control their". I stood up from the table before saying "I'm not doing this with you , I'm leaving" Polly scoffed saying "oh run away like you always do , you ran from Y/n now your running from here no ones surprised by you anymore Steve" I grabbed my bag before Buster and I left Polly's.

Y/n's P.O.V I stood in front of my uncle Jim's house he had bought a few years ago after he for some unknown reason moved out of my great grandfathers cabin he had been living in with his daughter El. I was pretty close with El , when my uncle first adopted her she was very quiet and a bit shy but over time she opened up a bit more and was super sweet. At first when Uncle Jim adopted El he wanted to be quiet about it , I never knew why but I figured it was none of my business but over time El became like a little sister to me and I missed hanging out with her. When Jackson was two I spent most of that summer spending time with El but as she got older and started going to school and I got a more stable job we only spent birthdays and holidays together. I knocked on the door before waiting for a response , I knew that after this was over I would go home , get some rest and go see Steve tomorrow and apologize. I knew he needed his space and I was starting to feel more hopeful and that somehow this could all work out and Steve and I would be fine and I was trying to stay hopeful so I wouldn't think about what could happen if this didn't work out. The door opened revealing Joyce on the other side , she spoke saying "oh hi Y/n , come in" I walked into the house before she added "how are you" I responded saying "good". She sighed saying "really are you sure" I nodded saying "I'm fine" Joyce spoke again saying "listen hon I didn't see you at the party last night did something happen" I shook my head before hearing Uncle Jim talking to someone in the other room "I said no , your not going over and seeing him" I walked into the Livingroom with Joyce to see that Uncle Jim and El were appearing to have some type of argument. El responded saying "but-" Uncle Jim cut her off saying "no I said no your staying here do you understand that" Joyce spoke saying "Jim are you ready" Uncle Jim nodded before walking over to me saying "be careful of her she's uh been sneaking out" I nodded before El spoke up saying "I can hear you" Uncle Jim walked out of the living room before Joyce spoke saying "okay so Will is over at Lucas's , El has a history project she's working on and we should be home by ten" I nodded before saying "did you see Jonathan yet" Joyce furrowed her brows before saying "oh no dear he'll be her tomorrow he called this morning to tell me he was swamped at work". Oh my god Jonathan lied , he lied to Joyce and I couldn't believe it I felt bad but I nodded before Jim walked back in saying "uh Y/n do you mind kinda scaring her with I don't know like a story where maybe you second guessed having Jackson cause-"Joyce cut uncle Jim off saying "Jim don't say that" he responded saying "well Joyce she won't listen to me so maybe she'll-" Joyce cut him off saying "Jim enough" Uncle Jim walked out of the room before saying "I'm sorry about him he's just very overprotective of her after everything that happened with Sara" I nodded before saying "her birthday's tomorrow" she responded saying "I think that's why it's been really hard for him" I nodded before she added "so uh we should be back around ten you kids have fun and El listen to Y/n please" El and I both nodded before Joyce and Uncle Jim walked out the door.

Steve's P.O.V I knocked on the front door of my parents house , I couldn't believe it I was a grown man and I was on my parents front steps drying off tears. Before the front door opened reveling my mother on the other side , she spoke saying "hi honey this is a nice surprise" I sighed before she added "did you and your sister get into a fight" I nodded silently before mom gestured for me to come into the house. Mom spoke again saying "have you had dinner yet" I shook my head before mom sighed saying "well put your bag down and let's eat , uh you'll have to stay on the couch Nanny's in town" I nodded before walking into the dinning room to see just dad sitting at the table he spoke saying. "so did you piss your sister off" I rolled my eyes before saying "where's Jackson" mom responded saying "he's down the street at Peter's he should be back soon" I nodded before mom added "sit down dinners almost ready" before I could say anything else another voice spoke "oh hello Steven" I sighed saying "hi Nanny" she spoke again saying "did you have a good birthday". Mom shook her head before Nanny added "where's Y/n" Dad spoke up saying "mother leave him alone-" Nanny cut dad off saying "John Michael Harrington I asked a question , where is Y/n" I responded saying "she's at home I guess" Nanny furrowed her brows before saying "you guess" I nodded before the doorbell rang , Dad spoke saying "that must be Jackson I'll be right back" Nanny sat down as dad left the room. Nanny spoke saying "is everything okay Jennifer" mom nodded silently before Nanny added "are you sure I mean it's unlike you to not have a glass of wine in your hand so I assumed you weren't feeling well". Mom responded saying "Lucille- I mean Mrs. Harrington how long did you say you were staying" Nanny sighed saying "well I was thinking maybe till new years or at least until you drove me nuts" Mom rolled her eyes before Nanny added "so am I going to see my granddaughter while I'm here" Mom responded saying "I don't know , what happened Steve" I sighed saying "David showed up that's what happened" Nanny shrugged saying "who is that" Mom responded saying "oh that would be Polly's on and off again boyfriend" Nanny nodded saying "and what does he do" Mom responded saying. "Military , he's uh oh god Steve what is he again" I spoke saying "he's in the Navy" Nanny nodded again saying "does he comes from a good family Jennifer". Mom responded saying "the Henderson's are good , poor kid his father passed away what five years ago I think" Nanny sighed saying "Jesus Jennifer your memory is terrible you need to start writing these things down , so when is Polly finished with law school" Mom responded saying "she graduates next spring" Nanny nodded before Jackson ran into the dinning room. He imminently ran into my moms arms before he looked at me and spoke saying "why are you here" mom gasped saying "Jackson you be nice to daddy" Jackson responded saying "is he still pouting" mom responded saying "Jackson go give dad a hug and a kiss and go sit down" Jackson got up before walking over and giving me the most half-assed hug I've ever gotten and I've gotten some pretty shitty hugs before. Mom stood up before dad spoke saying "sit down Jenifer I'll get it" mom sighed before following dad to the kitchen "Steven" nana said before adding "what is going on with her , did I miss something" I shrugged before Mom and Dad walked back into the dinning room with dinner.

Y/n's P.O.V

I was sitting on the couch with El , Joyce and Jim had been gone for an hour and I felt bad saying it but I was bored. I mean usually El was bright and bubbly and was talking a million miles a minute but all of the sudden she's quiet and more focused on the tv. I spoke saying "so how's school" she nodded saying "good" another one word answer which is what I got when earlier I asked how she was. I sighed before she spoke again saying "Jonathan's here in Hawkins" I responded saying "how did you-" she cut me off saying "I just know" I nodded before she added "I feel bad for Joyce she doesn't deserve it" I nodded again before saying. "Is everything okay with us El I mean your usually more talkative , I mean are you sure everything's okay I mean you can tell me anything". El frowned saying "it's just I don't wanna hurt your feelings talking about School stuff or parties or prom cause-" I cut her off saying "because I didn't get any of that , El your not hurting my feelings I'm happy for you I want to hear all about it" Before El could responded the front door open and shut. I looked at the clock since it was too early for Joyce and Jim to be home  a moment or so later Will , Lucas and Max. Before I could say hello Lucas spoke saying "oh it's just you" I responded saying "yeah is-" Will cut me off saying "oh we just thought that Jackson would be here too" I shook my head before Max spoke saying "well we miss him and were sorry we didn't show up last night" I nodded saying "it's okay and he misses you guys too he talks about you guys all the time" they nodded before Lucas spoke saying "Christmas breaks coming up we'll try to see him then" I nodded again before Will spoke up saying "are they still broken up" I shrugged before he added "El and Mike". My jaw feel before turning to El and saying "you and Mike broke up" she shrugged before Max spoke saying "your already back together aren't you" El silently nodded before I spoke saying "do you kids wanna stay , I mean I haven't seen you guys since summer" they nodded before sitting with El and I. It was weird it felt like yesterday they were kids and now they were seniors in high school I mean if they were getting older that meant so was Jackson and I defiantly knew I wasn't ready for that.

It was the following morning after watching El and I had just knocked on the Harrington's front door , I knew what I needed to do I needed to apologize and I did feel awful that Mrs. Harrington threw the party and that I didn't show up and I felt even more terrible about hurting Steve. The door opened revealing Jackson on the other side , he jumped into my arms before I spoke saying "Hi sweet pea I missed you , oh mommy missed you so much". Before Jackson could respond I hear Mrs. Harrington say "Jackson we do not open the door I told you to wait for- oh it's you" I responded saying "Hi Jen-" she cut me off saying "It's Mrs. Harrington". Oh shit Mrs. Harrington must've not been happy with me if she wasn't allowing me to call her by her first name but then again if some girl hurt my son I'd probably be cold to her , oh god the idea of that happening makes me wanna sob. I looked at Jackson saying "why don't you get your things so we can go home" he nodded before running off before I looked at Mrs. Harrington saying. "I uh was just coming to apologize about last night I'm sorry that was unacceptable and completely rude of me and I'm sure the party was amazing". She nodded saying "oh the party was great except for poor Steve who just sat there and waited and waited for you to show up , if you weren't my grandson's mother I'd slam this door right in your face". I nodded saying "and it's probably what I deserve" she responded saying "your goddamn right" Jackson ran back before Mrs. Harrington pecked his cheek before saying goodbye to Jackson.

I walked through the front door with Jackson , I felt a little better having my sweet pea with me but it still wasn't the same I missed Steve. I walked into the Livingroom where Jackson had ran into and sat on the couch , I spoke saying "I missed you sweet pea" Jackson nodded silently. He hadn't said a single word to me since I had picked him up , he was probably mad at me sure he was six and didn't probably fully understand what was going on but he did know that I hurt Steve. I took the seat next to Jackson before saying "you miss daddy don't you" he nodded silently again before I got an idea , I walked down the hall before walking into my bedroom and grabbing a box out of the closet before walking back out into the Livingroom. I spoke saying "you know when I miss daddy I look through this box" I put the box down on the floor before moving the coffee table since I knew their was a lot in this box and I would need a lot of space. Jackson stood up and walked over before taking the seat next to me , I opened the box before pulling out the shoebox that was on top of everything else. I opened it before pulling out pictures , Jackson gasped before taking one of the pictures out of my hand saying "mommy look" he pointed to the picture before he added "where's the scar on your foot" I shrugged saying "I guess that was before that happened" he nodded before picking up another picture saying "mommy is this when it happened" I responded saying "when what happened baby" he sighed saying "daddy told me you stepped on a shell at the lake is this when it happened" I took the picture from him before seeing that it in fact was that trip to the lake it also happened to be the trip where Jackson was conceived. I nodded saying "yep that was it" Jackson then added "daddy also said you cried a lot" I scoffed saying "oh really did you know on daddy and I's second date he got stung by a bee and he cried about for an hour" he chuckled before I continued to look through the pictures with Jackson. I stood up saying "I'm gonna make popcorn does that sound good" he ignored me before continuing to look through the pictures. After the popcorn was popped I sat back down before Jackson handed me another picture he spoke saying "mommy do you see that" I nodded saying "I do , I see the most cutest baby I've ever seen" he sighed saying "mommy were matching that's really embarrassing". I chuckled saying "okay that was an accident I was running late and I grabbed the first thing and ran out the door , it just happened to look a lot like I was wearing" he sighed again before picking another picture saying "mommy what is this" I looked at the picture and responded saying "that was your second Halloween you were cookie monster that year , you absolutely loved sesame street and you used to drive daddy and I crazy with it but you were so adorable". he huffed before I picked one of the pictures up in the pile and spoke saying "do you know who this is" he shrugged saying "this is daddy when he was your age" Jackson nodded before I looked at the picture and spoke again saying "you know you look just like him" Jackson shook his head before I added "yes you do , you have that smile and those freckles and of course those beautiful eyes" Jackson responded saying "mommy why does daddy have my blankie" I chuckled saying "oh sweet pea that used to be daddy's blankie when you were growing in my tummy daddy gave this to you he wanted you to have this". Jackson responded saying "really" I nodded before he looked in the box before saying "what's this" he then handed me what looked to be the remains of a crayon , I then noticed my last name was written on it. That's when I realized this was the crayon Steve stole from me in kindergarten , I knew it was mine because my mom put Jeffrey , Katie and I's names on everything at that age. I couldn't believe it that he had keep it and seeing that made me miss him much more , I sighed saying "it's just uh it's a long story" Jackson nodded before digging in the box more and pulling a paper out before saying. "Mama look" I took the paper from him before seeing it was his birth certificate. I spoke saying "when a baby is born the hospital gives this to the mommy and daddy , see me and daddy's name is on it" he nodded before saying "wait daddy's middle name is Michael too" I nodded before he added "that's my middle name". I responded saying "yep it's also papa's and his dad's" Jackson responded saying "where does papa's daddy live" I frowned saying "oh baby he got sick when daddy was little so he's not here anymore" he responded saying "like aunt Paige's and uncle Matt's mommy" I nodded saying "but you know what I know their watching over you I know their your guardian angels" he snuggled his head in the crook of my neck before looking at my necklace saying "mommy why don't you have a letter for daddy" I shrugged saying "what do you mean sweet pea" he responded saying "you have a J for Jackson but you don't have a letter for daddy" I nodded saying. "Do you think I need one" he nodded before he spoke again saying "why are you wearing daddy's shirt" I shrugged before realizing that I was in fact was wearing one of Steve's shirts. I picked up another stack of photos ,  photos of when Jackson and I were in the hospital after he was born three weeks premature and after I caught pneumonia Jackson and I were in the hospital for quite some time. I choose to never look at these pictures because I didn't want to remember the pain or the hurt or the frustration I had felt during that time but of course Steve wanted the pictures to one day show Jackson how far he's come and how strong I was and I now regret all those times I was cold to Steve about it cause when I looked at those pictures it showed how I made it through. It shows how far Jackson and I have come, Jackson spoke saying "who is that mommy" I responded saying "that's you sweet pea" he shrugged saying "but why am I so small" I responded again saying. "Well you were uh a month early" Jackson responded saying "why" I shrugged saying "I uh I guess you were ready to see the world" he nodded saying "was I okay" I nodded saying "yep you had to spend a little time in the hospital-" Jackson cut me off saying "why". I responded saying "oh uh you were just so little that they had to make sure everything was okay" he responded saying "was I" I nodded saying "yep everything was perfect" Jackson nodded before I continued to look through the pictures before I had another idea. I walked into the hallway and opened the hall closet before pulling out a box I had seen a few days ago full of empty  picture frames I walked back out before pulling out the picture frames and filling them with pictures. "Okay" I said before adding "can you hand me another picture" Jackson nodded before handing me a picture , I looked to see it was one from when Steve and I graduated high school. After I filled the frames Jackson spoke saying "mommy" I nodded before he added "yesterday I saw uncle Jonathan" I responded saying "where did you see him sweet pea" Jackson responded saying "at Benny's with somebody else" I nodded before saying "who took you to Benny's" Jackson spoke saying. "I went with Mimi , Daddy and Aunt Polly but mommy he was with someone but it wasn't aunt Lizzy" I sighed since I know he was talking about Jonathan's ex girlfriend Liz or who Jackson called Aunt Lizzy. Jackson spoke again saying "mommy do you know who it was" before I could respond saying "I think she knew daddy but daddy didn't say anything" I responded saying. "Well uh that was Nancy her and uh uncle Jonathan are gonna get married" Jackson nodded saying "what about Aunt Lizzy" I sighed saying "well Aunt Lizzy and Uncle Jonathan broke up their not together anymore". Jackson responded saying "are you and daddy broken up" I shook my head before pulling Jackson on my lap and wiping his tears that were beginning to fall before saying "no were not broken up it's just daddy and I had- well what I did yesterday wasn't very nice to daddy". Jackson responded saying "but didn't you say that daddy wasn't very nice a long time ago" I sighed saying "you know just because someone isn't nice to you that doesn't mean you don't need to be nice to them but what I did wasn't very nice". Jackson nodded saying "when is daddy going to come home" I shrugged before saying "you know what tomorrow I'll pick you up from school and we can go surprise daddy at work how does that sound" Jackson nodded before I wiped another tear off his cheek.

Steve's P.O.V "Steven you have to get out of this bed let's go wake up it's almost noon" Mom said before adding "Steven Michael Harrington out of this bed right now". I rolled over before saying "just leave me alone" Mom scoffed saying "no I will not come downstairs your father and I want to talk to you about something" I sighed before saying "no I'm going out , you want me to get up I'll get up and go out" Mom shook her saying "oh no you won't I'm not letting you go down that path-" I cut mom off saying "mom I'm going out with Jackson okay I just want to spend some time with my son". Mom sighed saying "uh that is uh well that won't happen Y/n just picked him up" I huffed before putting my head back on the pillow as she added "honey I'm sorry-" I cut mom off saying "it's fine mom I just wanna be alone".

The Following Day

I was sitting at my desk at work , it was Monday and I was still trying to figure out what exactly I was going to say to Y/n. I mean I didn't know if we were still together or not but I knew I should probably stop dodging her I mean she still is Jackson's mother and someone I care deeply about. My thoughts were interrupted by hearing the phone on my desk ring , I picked it up before saying "hello this is Harrington family insurance how may I help you" the voice on the other line spoke saying "hi this is Shelly at Hawkins memorial Hospital is Steve Harrington their". I responded saying "this is Steve Harrington" she responded saying "I'm calling in regards to a patient who was just admitted , do you happen to know a Y/n Yl/n" I responded saying "yes did something happen" she responded saying "their was just a minor car accident Y/n's fine she'll be able to go home tomorrow I just need you to come down here and sign some paperwork for her". I spoke saying "I'm sorry can you slow down what's happened" she responded saying "Y/n's been is a car accident"......

Taglist @queenofthehairharrington @charmed-asylum @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @nxncywheeler @evemarie05 @khiaraaa-in-spacee @art-flirt @harringtown @wolfish-willow 

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Promises Not Kept Part 3

Summary: Tommy Shelby made a promise to Jonah Ward while in the war. A promise he didn't keep. But it comes to haunt him when he tries to drown out his sorrows with a young woman.

Part 3: Tommy and Leah leave Midland and face uncertainty. 

Leah trembled as she walked into the room. Five of the girls were there including Bea. Tommy stood outside by the door, his back to the wall to let them have their privacy.

           Bea stood when she saw the conflicted look on her face. “What’s going on?” She demanded.

           Leah was still in tears. She was perched on the precipice of her life. She could stay there as a prostitute with a questionable future or see if she could find what Jonah hoped for her.

           “I’m leaving.” Her voice was thick as she stooped down to retrieve her coat and bag.

           Bea’s eyes flicked to the door. Tommy’s shoulder was visible, the hallway hazy from his cigarette. A flash of anger crossed her features and she stormed out to confront the man. “Who the hell do you think you are?” The woman snapped and jabbed at his chest with two fingers.

           Tommy could tell she was protective over Leah. And he recalled sleeping with her months earlier, but was probably drunk and remembered very little. “She’s free to make her own choices.” He replied calmly. He was accustomed to being on the receiving end of anger and hysteria.

           Bea’s eyes narrowed. “You fuckin’ Shelbys are demons.” She spat.

           Leah rushed out to diffuse yet another argument. She tugged at her friend’s arm. “He isn’t making me do anything, I’ve made up my own mind.”

           But Bea wasn’t having it. “You’re just movin’ onto the next, huh?” She shoved him. The man sighed and took the abuse. “Your wife was murdered ‘cause of you and now you want another victim to have on your arm? You just don’t fuckin’ care, do you? As long as they’re pretty, eh? Fuckin’ monster, you and your kin.”

           “Stop, please!” Leah begged. She didn’t want Bea suddenly having to deal with the Peaky Blinders. “Jonah didn’t want me doing this.” She tried to draw her attention away from Tommy. “He wanted something better for me.”

           She turned to her, green eyes filled with anxiety. “You don’t think I better for you and all the other girls?” Muffled sounds of sex could be heard down the hallway from them. “I want to see you thrive, Leah. But that man right there will get you killed.” Anger slipped back into her voice. “And as soon as you’re dead and buried, he’ll move onto the next.”

           Leah looked at Tommy. His face was hard to read and he didn’t interject to defend himself. But he wasn’t a monster, she couldn’t see that in him. He was simply damaged like her. “It’ll be okay.” She smiled weakly and touched her friend’s shoulder. “I’ll ring you tomorrow.”

           “Lee…”

           She gave her friend a hug and drew away. Tommy offered an arm to her and Leah turned away from the other girls. There was a sense of guilt knowing she was leaving them behind in the same situation she was escaping from. But she couldn’t take them with her as much as she wanted to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           The car was waiting in front of the hotel still, but the rain had let up. Damp darkness hung over the city. Tommy opened the door for her and held a hand out as she stepped inside. The Bentley’s luxurious interior only reminded Leah of whom she was really dealing with.

           Tommy slid into the backseat beside her and told the driver the destination. They were both quiet as the car traveled down the lamp-lined roads of London. Eventually, they arrived in a nicer area of London. The streets were quieter and the houses appeared well maintained.

           “Where are we?” Leah asked quietly, not familiar with the location.

           “My sister Ada’s,” Tommy answered. “You can stay here for the night. I’ll back ‘round tomorrow to talk. I want to give you the night to think about whatever you need sorted.” He got out of the car, helping Leah down. “Whatever I can do to help get you settled again.” He knew they had both been unsettled for a very long time. Tommy was aware that he only moved further from comfort every day. He set himself up for a chaotic life. But if he could help Leah along, it might give him a reason to get some sleep.

           Ada was accommodating, despite the late hour. She set up Leah in the spare room before giving her privacy. Then she returned downstairs to where Tommy lingered by the front door.

           “How can you trust her?” Ada wasn’t scared of Leah. The Shelby woman could certainly handle her if necessary. Her small handgun was always within arm’s reach. But Ada was concerned about her brother’s fragile state and what a prostitute might do to further shatter him.

           “She’s harmless,” Tommy replied. “And she’s well aware of what we do. She wouldn't test that.”

           “What you do.” She corrected him fiercely and crossed her arms over her chest.

           “Whatever you say, Ada.” Tommy shrugged and opened the door. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

           The next day, Leah was quiet. She made polite conversation with Ada and fussed over Karl, but she was deep in thought. So much so that while playing football outside in the street with Karl, she nearly got hit in the head with the ball.

           Now, noon had rolled around and she sat in the parlor. She was overwhelmed with uncertainty. The night hadn’t done much good and she still hadn’t cleared everything up and made up her mind. Jonah’s face had kept crossing her mind. Those lovely brown eyes that held so much warmth and adoration. His strong hands and his dazzling smile. There was still something deep in Leah that hadn’t accepted he was gone. But she knew that if he were alive out there, somewhere, he would be doing everything within his power to return to her. With every year that passed, another piece of Leah resigned herself to the loss.

           Now she had to deal with the fact that he wanted the Shelbys to take care of her after he passed. Both Tommy and Leah had delayed it, intentionally or not. She wanted to continue dragging her heels more but she wasn’t exactly sure what she was afraid of.

           Maybe because it was Tommy Shelby.

           Maybe his influence and power.

           Maybe it was the way he made her feel.

           The front door opened and from where she was sitting, Leah could see Tommy enter.

           “Uncle Tommy!” Karl cried with joy as he catapulted off the stairs and into the man’s arms.

           “Oof!” Tommy grinned and staggered back a few steps from the impact. “You’re getting big, eh? Sprouting like a weed, ‘fore you know it, you’ll be bigger than me and your mum.”

           “Gonna be taller than Big Ben!” Karl beamed. “I played football with Lee, gotta scratch!” He proudly showed his uncle the scrape on his forearm.

           “Look at that. Getting scuffed up on the streets of London already. Don’t tell your mum, yeah?” Tommy chuckled.

           Seeing the tenderness between him and his nephew was striking. Gangsters weren’t thought to have souls let alone be able to love.

           Tommy noticed Leah watching him from the parlor so he set Karl down. “Why don’t you go find your mum, eh?” The little boy hurried off with a clatter of footsteps after being shooed away.

           Leah averted her eyes as Tommy walked into the parlor. “It’s nice to see a man who’s good with kids.��� She admitted shyly. She could remember how the neighborhood kids would flock to Jonah because they wanted to see his army uniform and he’d play along when they pretended to be out on the battlefield, holding up sticks as guns.

           Tommy opened the front button of his coat before sitting across from her. “I have a son, Charlie, who’ll be three soon.” He informed her. “Like you said before, Miss Ward, there are things you don’t know about me.”

           She nodded but couldn’t help be shocked by the news. It was one thing seeing him with a nephew; it was another thing knowing he was raising a child. All the while, the world painted him as a devil. “There are things you don’t know about me too.”

           “Would you like to get to know each other better?” The question was an outreach but his face was like stone. It was as if an internal conflict was yearning outwards.

           Leah’s palms began to sweat. His blue eyes sent chills down her spine because she could still see the way he looked at her those fateful nights. “I’m afraid I’m not very interesting, Tommy. I suppose my story is just a little sad. But I don’t need sympathy.”

           He made a low noise of understanding and nodded. “I’m not very interesting either.”

           Leah laughed and shook her head. “I find that very hard to believe. Nearly half the country knows your name. Maybe even more than that.”

           A faint smile formed on his face. He thoroughly enjoyed seeing her laugh. “Do you like kids?” He asked.

           “Oh, ‘course.” She nodded. “I always wanted to be a nurse. My mother was before she and my father opened the chemist shop. I wanted to be a midwife.” She told him.

           Tommy saw a light in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. He wondered how long it had been since anyone saw it.

           “I was meant to go off to school after Jonah came home but…” The light faded quickly at the mention of her husband’s death.

           “Would you like to go now?” Tommy offered. “I know people in the field.” He knew many people in many fields but decided he’d had enough grave injuries to rack up a repertoire with some doctors.

           Leah picked at her fingernails, her eyes downcast with shame. “That’s kind of you, but I think it’s too late for me now.”

           He could’ve argued that it wasn’t too late but decided not to be too aggressive about it. “I could offer you a job at my home in Warwickshire. You could look after my son. His nanny is ‘bout to have a baby and will be on leave soon.”

           She swallowed. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful,” She prefaced anxiously. “But I just don’t think I’m qualified. I have nothing to offer you; I’m just a-” Her voice faltered. Just a whore. That’s all she’d known for several years.

           “I don’t need you to offer me anything in return.” He replied and leaned forward to try and catch her eye.

           It was hard to resist those baby-blues. “It’s not just that.”

           “What is it then?” He rested his arms on his knees, his gaze steady on hers. His presence was strangely comforting. Leah never had intimate feelings for a client. Sometimes she had men blindly profess their love to her but she never even felt infatuation for any of the men. But when she was with Tommy, she felt like she was floating from euphoria. Now she wanted a man she had slept with twice, yet she barely scratched the surface of who he was. “You’re confused about our relationship.” Tommy surmised as she bit her lip and gave him a shy but longing look.

           She nodded meekly. “I know it meant nothing to you because-”

           “Who said it meant nothing?”

           The two stared at each other for a bit. It was clear neither of them was willing to be the first to admit the truth. Both of them were severely deprived of affection and had clear physical chemistry, but it had been some time since they found love. They were rusty on the ins and outs of actual relationships and not just flimsy companionships.

          Leah decided it wasn’t the time or the place to take that chance with him. “Ada said there was a dress shop in Birmingham. I thought I’d inquire there about a job. You won’t have to worry about me after that. You’ve already done enough, Tommy.”

           He frowned. “Would you want that?”

           She nodded and smoothed her skirt. “I just need to get my things from my room and find a flat in Birmingham. It would be nice to get away from London.”

           “Most people don’t want to go to Birmingham.”

           “I do.”

           Tommy sighed slightly. He couldn’t picture the beautiful woman in Small Heath. He thought she belonged somewhere like Warwickshire much more. He could see her all done up in the trappings of a wealthy woman. Just like Grace had embraced it.

           That’s what he wanted. He wanted someone to fill Grace’s shoes. To be on his arm. To be a mother to Charlie. To kiss the top of his head at night and whisper small comforts to him. The realization made Tommy feel like he was drowning in a sea of helpless misery because he couldn’t replace her. But he couldn’t be without her.

           “Right, I’ll find you a flat. I’ll pay rent for you. Anything else you need, you can always come to me.” He offered.

           “I have money saved. I can pay rent.”

           He raised an eyebrow and reached for a cigarette. The day was hardly half over and he already wanted it to end. “The first year, I’ll pay.”

           “First month.” She replied. “Honestly, I’ll be just fine on my own.”

           “First six.”

           “First two.”

           He couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Alright. Fair enough.” He stood up and shook her hand. He wanted to add a clause in the verbal contract; he’d get to see her every so often just to ease his sorrow. But he kept that to himself. If luck were on her side she'd find her balance in Birmingham, find her way, and escape. No one in their right mind wanted to be stuck in Birmingham. No one in their right mind wanted to be stuck with him either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Leah didn’t dislike Birmingham as much as others seemed to. She liked the change of scenery because it reminded what she was leaving behind. She began work at the dress shop. An older man owned the place, but his youngest daughter ran it. Beth was a little younger than Leah but the two got along well. Leah got to know her neighbors and became familiar with her surroundings.

         Then, she started to notice men in flat caps lingering around the front of the shop. At first, she thought it was a coincidence, then she realized it was Tommy’s men. They all sported similar shaved haircuts and the signature caps. It was far too often to be a coincidence after the first week.

           “That’s Isaiah.” One morning, Beth pointed out the young man who was taking a smoke across the street. “Isn’t he just as handsome as can be?” She sighed and leaned against the counter, cheek resting on her hand. Her eyes fixed on the young man jostling another boy about. The two were laughing and giving some well-aimed jabs, just acting as boys will.

           “Who’s that with him?” Leah asked as she swept up around the shop. She looked out the window to see they were somewhat familiar to her. They'd been around the shop a few times in the past week. They were smartly dressed compared to the rest of the city and had the flat caps to prove where they'd gotten the money from.

           “Finn, he’s Tommy Shelby’s younger brother.” She answered. “They’re all Blinders. But who doesn't like a little danger? Leaves ya breathless, doesn't it?” Beth gave her new friend a coy smile.

           So he was keeping an eye on her. Leah sighed and shook her head. “I dunno anymore." She mumbled under her breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Two days later, Tommy finally made an appearance. He walked into the shop, slipping off his cap. He nodded to Beth whose eyes went wide at the sight of him. The pristinely dressed Blinder stood there, exuding intimidation that came naturally from his reputation and icy blue eyes. “Is Leah in?” He asked while he approached the front counter.

           In the backroom, Leah could hear his deep voice. She came out before Beth could answer him. “Tommy.” She greeted with quiet shock.

           There was no mistaking the look of relief on his face. Their eyes met and for a few beats, they didn’t speak. Neither of them noticed until Beth cleared her throat to disrupt the tense moment.

           “Oh, sorry.” Leah’s cheeks went red. “Tommy, this is Beth, the owner’s daughter.”

           He gave her a polite nod. “Nice to meet you.” Of course, she knew who he was just like everyone else in Birmingham, so there was no need to introduce himself.

           Beth looked a little squeamish that the head of the Peaky Blinders was standing so close. Most Brummies kept their distance if they knew what was good for them. “Likewise.” She said quietly.

           Leah could sense her discomfort. “Maybe we could talk outside. Beth, is it alright if I step out for a mo’? Won't be long.”

           “No, that’s fine.” She wasn’t about to interfere with Tommy there.

           The two went out to stand by the shop. Tommy lighting a cigarette once outside. He paced a few steps as he took two drags. “Sorry to interrupt while you’re working.”

           “That’s okay.” Leah could feel her heart beating faster. She had managed to keep herself busy the two weeks she spent apart from him. But now that he was nearby again, she felt the yearning for his touch. “I just thought you’d come around sooner.” She admitted sheepishly. “I know you’ve had your men watching the place from time to time.” She told him honestly. "Beth recognized some of them, your brother was around I guess. I dunno if you knew or..." She bit her lip.

           “Well…” He shrugged but knew he was caught. Of course, he'd had some men check the shop every so often. He wanted to be sure Leah was safe in his city. It was overbearing, he knew that, but he was away and felt uneasy. “I was in London for a bit. Just wanted to make sure everything was coming along for you. Wanted to make sure you weren’t having any problems either.” He gestured with his cigarette to make it seem like it was nothing but a casual drop by. He cleared his throat and glanced down at his expensive shoes. For a moment he debated whether he had the courage to really go through with what he was planning. His eyes returned to her and the words tumbled out. “Do you want to get a drink with me? Tonight?”

           Leah was surprised but not unpleasantly so. “I suppose that’ll be alright.” She nodded and felt a twinge of thrill and anxiety in her stomach. There was no telling what would happen between them both. They hadn't talked candidly about their complex and confusing relationship. She was afraid that they were on completely separate pages and she would make a fool out of herself.

           He didn’t speak for a bit, just eyeing her. He was definitely a hard man to read by face value but after spending a lot of time with men at their most vulnerable, Leah thought she could pick out male emotions.

           “Are you lonely, Tommy?”

           His lips parted and a bit of smoke escaped as he let out a huff of bitter amusement. “Do lonely men go to pay for companionship?” It was his natural defensive mechanism, answering a question with another question.

           She nodded with a wrinkled brow and a frown. There was no telling what he was getting at so she indulged his question. “Sometimes, yes.”

           “But you’re not a whore.” He pointed to the door beside her. “You’re a shop girl.”

           Leah couldn’t help but smile. It was refreshing to hear him reinforce the new chapter of her life. “You can still be lonely and want to take out a shop girl. Not all men go to whores when they're lonely.”

           He let a smile tug at his lips but didn't reply. “I’ll see you at the Garrison at nine then?” He pulled his gold pocket watch from his waistcoat to check the time. His little detour was going to make him late to a family meeting but he couldn’t have cared less.

           She knew he was avoiding the root of probably many of his issues. Losing Jonah was definitely the root of her issues. For years she coped on her own without the comfort of anyone else. She could only imagine Tommy was doing the exact same thing. “Okay.”

           He pulled on his cap and went to leave before she stopped him with a touch to the arm.

           “Sorry, I just-” She reached up and carefully brushed a fallen eyelash from his cheekbone.

           Tommy froze when he felt her gentle touch on his skin again. Even a fleeting graze of her finger was enough to make him long for her. It took everything in his power to not bring her back to Watery Lane and resume where they’d left off all those weeks ago. There had been a hunger gnawing at him those two weeks they were apart. Perhaps he had become addicted to her and was coping with the withdrawals.

           Leah’s eyes fell to a glint of metal poking out from the brim of his flat cap. It was chilling to think that all the men who had been lingering around the shop were probably sporting the same weapon. What was stranger was how Tommy reacted under her touch. Birmingham’s most powerful men looked ready to fall to his knees for her. “Just an eyelash.” She explained, a quiver in her voice. She took a step back to break the spell and let the stray eyelash fall from her pointer finger. “Anyway, I should get back to work.”

           Tommy realized his hand was shaking. “Oh, right.” He nodded stiffly but wasn’t really comprehending her words or his own. God only knew how he was going to get through the rest of the afternoon.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @giftofdreams​ @biba3434​ @kimmietea​

Masterpost

PB Masterlist

[67-chevy-baby]

Remedy

Pairing - Jared x Reader

Tags - Slight angst, FLUFFFFFF, language, and I think that’s it.

Word Count -  2,664

Beta - @winecatsandpizza​

Fic Aesthetic - Yours truly

The Song I Chose - Off My Mind by Radio Company

Written for - @saxxxology​’s Vol 1 Writing Challenge

A/N - So, I couldn’t find much about Jared’s sister. I don’t think she’s married, but just so y’all know I made up Trent, Max, and Macee. Also, there may be a part 2 to this. It’s my first Jared fic, and I’m not sure I write him well. At any rate, I hope y’all enjoy it, and I especially hope you like this Saxxy. I really tried to make this good. :) 

To say you’d become a failure to your parents was an understatement. 

From the moment you dropped out of college to pursue your real dream, they’d cut all ties with you. Honestly, it didn’t come as a surprise considering all they seemed to care about was what they wanted you to succeed in. If it didn’t benefit them, then they weren’t interested.

Finally realizing their true intentions was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You packed what little belongings you had and left for Texas, leaving your home-town in Ohio behind in the rearview mirror. The beat-to-hell car you inherited lasted you until the outskirts of Dallas, so you decided to hole up in a hotel with the last bit of savings you had. 

After checking in and grabbing some snacks from the vending machine in the lobby, you headed to your room and splayed out on the bed. You scrolled through local jobs as you munched on a Snickers bar. Nothing really jumped out at you, but this wasn’t a time in your life where it was rational to be picky. If you were going to pursue becoming a singer, then you needed some cash to get you started. 

Nothing really piqued your interest around Dallas, so you decided to span your search further. After an hour of sifting through different job opportunities, you finally came across one that caught your eye. 

Full-Time Nanny in Avery Ranch Start Date: Mid-January 2020 Children ages: 5 and 2 months Hours/Rate: M-F 7:30am-5pm - $18/hr Serious Inquiries Only: (512)586-2463

Other than singing, babysitting your sister’s kids was something else you thoroughly enjoyed. Her husband had cheated on her, and they divorced soon after so you became a constant in their lives. Not that you weren’t before, but since you were a full-time student at the time you often watched them during your off time. 

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you called the number and waited. By the third ring, you were starting to get discouraged but then a woman’s cheerful voice answered. 

“Hello?” 

Talking on the phone was never a strong suit of yours. Especially not knowing who was on the other end, it always gave you anxiety. Taking a deep breath, you stammered out a response. 

“Um, h-hi. My name’s Y/N and I saw your add about the Nanny position. I’d like to apply if it’s still available.” 

You heard the woman clear her throat and some rustling before she came back on the line. 

“Hi, Y/N! My name's Megan. Yes, the position is still available! Can you come over tomorrow at noon? My husband and I would like to meet over coffee to get to know you a bit better before we introduce you to the children.” 

Well, you weren’t expecting that, but the desperate situation you were in won over the butterflies fluttering against your abdomen. 

“Y-Yeah! I can do that!” 

The warmth in the woman’s response was evident and it eased any doubts you had bouncing around in your head. 

“Great! We’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. I’ll text you the address and feel free to wear something comfortable. Lord knows with two kids I won't be wearing my best dress."

You bid her goodbye and sighed into your pillow. Despite uprooting your life merely a day ago, things were starting to come together, and for once, you couldn't be happier. 

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Jared sighed as he walked through the airport. Another season of Supernatural wrapped and he was finally on his home turf again. The familiarity of the Texas air nipped his bare skin as he headed for the awaiting taxi. Tonight, he'd rest up and then tomorrow he'd go and see his siblings. 

The ride to his studio apartment was short, but it allowed him to send a few texts and emails anyway. He tipped the cab driver generously and took the elevator up to his floor. 

His apartment wasn't much, but it was enough for him. The entry area was small, bearing a hook on the wall to hang his keys, a closet for his coat and shoes, and a couple of light switches. Just off to the left was the living room. He had a black leather sectional and a nice entertainment center where he could watch the latest Cowboys game comfortably. The kitchen wasn't enormous, but he didn't need it to be. It had everything he needed and all the appliances were new enough. His bedroom was just the way he left it, his king-size bed unmade and his laundry in the basket by the bathroom door. 

Jared tossed his suitcase on the bed and padded to the kitchen for a beer. He'd start laundry tomorrow. It wasn't like he had anyone to impress or anything. Ever since Supernatural gained its popularity, he'd shied away from serious relationships because he barely had time for himself let alone a significant other. Settling into the couch, he flipped through the channels before stopping on the movie Die Hard, one of his favorite Christmas movies. Before he knew it, he'd dozed off, his hard work and jet lag finally catching up to him.

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You groaned and shut off your alarm. How was it already 6 AM? Forcing yourself to emerge from your warm blanket cocoon, you padded to the bathroom praying a hot shower would wake you up. Mornings were far from your favorite thing, and if you were going to meet with your potential employer then you needed to be somewhat presentable. 

Once you were dressed and had some sustenance, you wore a simple pair of jeans and a comfortable top. Your hair fell neatly at your shoulders and once you applied a small amount of makeup, you looked less like a zombie than you imagined. Remembering to grab your card key, you slid on your flats and headed to the address that Megan had texted you. 

The drive was nearly three hours, but you didn't mind. It allowed you to decompress and listen to your favorite Spotify playlist. Luckily, the rental car you managed to get had Bluetooth, otherwise you'd have to deal with the local stations. 

Finally, you pulled into the driveway and allowed yourself to take a few deep breaths. The house was pretty big, two-story with a two-car garage. The yard was well kept and you could see the faint outlines of playground equipment down the street. Overall, it looked to be a nice, quiet neighborhood. 

Crisp air fanned your face as you walked to the front door. A couple knocks later you were face to face with a sweet-looking young woman. She smiled warmly at you before inviting you inside. 

"Hi! You must be Y/N. It's so good to meet you." 

Smiling back at her, you shook her hand and then noticed a taller figure walk up behind her. He nodded at you and wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist. 

“I’m her husband, Trent. Please come in and make yourself comfortable.”

You followed them inside and gasped as they led you into what had to be their living room. Your eyes wandered and marveled at how cozy and elegant everything looked. Not that it mattered to you, but you couldn’t help but think this couple had a lot of money. 

“You have a beautiful home, Mr. and Mrs. …” 

It only just hit you that you didn’t know their last name. Megan brought you a cup of some wonderful smelling coffee and sat down on the love seat across from you. 

“Stevenson. Our last name is Stevenson. Thank you for your kind words. We moved here a little over a year ago so I could be closer to my niece.” 

You nodded and moaned happily at the taste of the coffee. This was one of the many things you enjoyed in life, a nice hot cup of coffee.

“Oh, does your family live close? That’s always nice, having family that lives close by. I used to watch my older sister’s kids all the time while she worked. They’re in school full-time now, so that’s why I decided to move here to hopefully pursue my dream.” 

It amazed you that you felt this comfortable around the Stevenson’s so quickly. Normally, your anxiety would get the better of you and it’d be like pulling teeth to get you to share personal things about your life. Megan nodded and scooted over to allow room for Trent to sit by her. 

“Yes, one of my older brother’s lives about fifteen minutes from here. He’s not home often though due to his job. He’s an actor and really only gets time off during the summer and the holidays. My other older brother lives about forty-five minutes from here. He’s an Orthopedic surgeon.” 

“Wow.” You breathed. “That’s really awesome! I have always wanted to be a singer, but my love of kids made me want to wait a little longer to try and become successful at it. I probably would have had kids of my own by now if I was fortunate in the relationship department. I seem to always find the ones who are either already married or live in their Mom’s basement.” The three of you shared a laugh and you watched as Trent scrolled through his phone. 

“This is our son, Max. He just turned five about a month ago, and in his lap is our two-month-old daughter Macee.”

You looked at them both in awe. “They’re beautiful! Max sure looks like he loves Macee a lot.” Just as you handed Trent his phone back, a small voice sounded from the foot of the stairs. 

“Mommy? I can’t sweep…”

The three of you looked to see little Max standing with his teddy bear and rubbing his eyes. Megan opened her arms and set him on her lap, pressing her lips to his forehead. 

“Hey, baby. You can sit with Mommy while we talk to miss Y/N.”

Your ears perked up at her words. Was she giving you the job? Both her and Trent shared a look and you could tell they were having a wordless conversation. Finally, Megan turned and gave you an excited smile. 

“Y/N, if you’re up for it, Trent and I would love to have you as our Nanny. You seem very attentive and dependable. We have a spare room that you can stay in for the time being, and you’ll have your own bathroom.” 

“Thank you both so much! I can’t wait to work with you and get to know your adorable children. When would you like me to start?”

Megan gave you a folder with a few papers in it to go over. 

“These are just a few more things about us and the kids that I want you to know. You can bring your things over tomorrow night and then on Monday you can start.”

You bid Trent and Megan goodbye and headed back to your hotel. It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You’d only been here a short time and you had a place to stay and a job. Now all you needed to get was a car and you’d better off than you were before you started your journey. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of his phone’s text tone woke Jared from his slumber. He typed a quick response to his sister and stretched his tired muscles. After taking a quick shower and getting dressed he grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out the door. 

His sister said to be at her house in a couple of hours, but he didn’t see the harm in getting there early. It would give him time to play with Max and Macee for a little while. The drive there wasn’t very long, and soon he was walking up the sidewalk to their front door. 

He let himself in and could saw his sister in the back yard playing with the kids. Before he could head through the house out the back door, something caught his attention. A sweet melodic voice flowed through the upstairs hallway that made his heartbeat quicken. He moved so he could see better and caught sight of the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She had long brown hair that waved a bit at the ends, was probably about five foot one, and her voice was mesmerizing. 

He watched as she cleaned the kids’ playroom, her hips shimmying to the music she was listening to. It was then that he recognized the song she was singing. It was one of the songs from Jensen’s new album! Standing in the foyer, he let himself listen to you a bit longer.

Oh, and how do I get you off my mind

With you back in my bed

How do I get you off my mind

Can’t have you living in my head

You can only stay awake so long

While deciding what is true

I lean in for a kiss upon your shoulder

Realize it wouldn’t do, not with you

So, how do I get you off my mind

With you back in my bed

How do I get you off my mind

Can’t have you living in my head

Unbeknownst to him, his sister was watching him watch her, the biggest smirk on her face knowing that you had caught her brother’s eye. 

“Her name’s Y/N, and she’s Trent and I’s nanny.”

Jared whirled around to meet his sister’s knowing gaze. He knew he’d been caught staring and was sure he was blushing furiously. 

“That’s ah… I’m uh… glad you found someone suitable for the kids, Meg. I bet she’s great.”

“Uh-huh… I haven’t seen you look at someone like that since… well, since ever really. You like her.”

“What?! That’s… I mean… I don’t even know her. I just… her singing was um… really good!”

By now, you had finished cleaning the playroom and was prepared to relieve Megan so she could go out with her family. You heard her talking to someone and you assumed it was Trent. 

“Hey, Megan! I finished cleaning the pla-” 

Your words were caught in your throat as you looked down into the foyer. There, standing mere feet from you was your celebrity crush since you saw him on Gilmore Girls. Jared Padalecki. It took only a moment for things to click in your brain and you deduced that he and Megan were siblings. 

“Y/N, this is one of my older brother’s Jared, Jared this is Y/N.” 

“H-Hi…” You squeaked. He gave you a boyish grin and you forgot how to breathe. “I’m uh… just going to get a few things from my room…” 

Once you were behind the closed door, you let out a shaky breath. How in the fuck did you manage to get a job at Jared Padalecki’s sister’s house?! Taking a deep breath you grabbed the Tonka set you bought Max and headed downstairs to the great room to play with him and Macee. Jared was in the kitchen with Megan, and you were lucky enough to be immensely distracted by Max to hear what they were saying. 

“I’m telling you Jare, you should ask her out! I give her weekends off, and I don’t think she knows anyone here but us. I think it would be nice to show her around.”

Jared rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t know Megan… I just met he-”

“Oh cut the crap, Jared. You can make all the excuses you want, but you and I both know you like her. C’mon! Take a chance! She’s cute and you’re single. If you keep waiting around for the right person, then who knows how long you’ll be waiting?”

Jared contemplated his sister’s words as he eyed you through the kitchen. Who was he kidding? Megan was right. He sighed and swallowed thickly as he headed into the Great room. 

“Here goes nothing…”