#I used to never care much about the earlier games because I was told that I didn't need to get into them to understand my first game (fe3h)

[dazzlerazz]

I genuinely think you would enjoy genealogy of the holy war.

I do hope I will! If the remake leaks are true then I'm there!

[lyrefromthesea]

You’re absolutely one of my favourite writers 💙 Please could I request hashira x reader, where the reader looks after the hashira’s family/ those they care for when they are on a long mission 💙💙

Male pillars x reader - family matters

pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader

content warning: none

Tengen:

who would've expected nearly the entirety of the Uzui family to fall sick? it luckily didn't hit him, but Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma all fell ill.

you would've done it without his pleading, but when he asked you so kindly to take care of his wives, you couldn't say no.

you were in a relationship with them too, it was only right to take care of your loved ones, right?

so when Tengen came home and saw you put wet towels on all their head with the outmost patience, he felt his heart swell with pride.

"i'm back, are you all feeling better?" he asked, looking down at the three sick women. they were cuddled up in their shared bed, not wanting to be alone.

he was glad when he watched them slowly nod and tell him how good you've taken care of them.

"thank you, beautiful.." he said to you, glad that there was someone he could trust. "let me help now."

Obanai:

when Obanai left for a mission and left Kaburamaru with you, he knew you would take care of his friend. however, he didn't expect finding you like this.

you have fallen asleep in the kitchen, your cheek squished against the counter. Kaburamaru had found his place around your neck, as if he wanted to keep you warm.

Iguro looked around, seeing Kaburamaru's food bowl. it was empty, but he knew the snake had eaten today. he could tell by the way Kaburamaru was sleeping with you, having filled his stomach.

furthermore, there was a plate full of food placed near you. he could see another empty plate in the sink, indicating that you've already eaten.

he had told you when he would come back from his mission, figuring that you've prepared the second plate for him.

he looked at you with a gentle gaze, not wanting to wake you up, but knowing you shouldn't sleep in the kitchen. with a quick and careful movement, he had picked you up and carried you to the bedroom.

you had taken care of him and his snake, it was time to take care of you now.

Rengoku:

multiple bottles of liquor stood in front of his family's estate. they were all empty.

he knew those were the bottles his father used to buy, but the man would never place them here.

knowing that you had been staying in his house for the past few days, he figured it would have something to do with you.

"i'm home, dear!" he greeted, happy when he saw you run up to him. perhaps you had been spoiling him too much, but he was used to a kiss on the lips whenever he returned to you.

"first you take my sake away and now this? i'll puke!" Shinjuro scolded you, but you just smiled back at him.

Kyojuro was confused at first, quickly remembering the empty liquor bottles in front the family estate.

"don't pretend like you didn't like the past days! you even played board games with me and Senjuro." you countered, sticking your tongue out.

perhaps it was because you weren't a demon slayer, but Shinjuro could speak to you much more calmly than with others. or maybe it was because you reminded him of the peace of earlier days.

"you did? let's celebrate my return with another board game!" Kyojuro enthusiastically offered, earning a happy nod from you.

"you're going to play as well, right?" you ask Shinjuro, not surprised by him rolling his eyes, knowing he would join you two and Senjuro.

Sanemi:

"is he okay?" Sanemi asked, his fists clenching hard. he was desperate to know about his little brother's state.

when he heard that Genya had been hurt during his fight with a demon, he had wanted to see his brother right away, but he couldn't look him in the eyes anymore.

he knew that Genya hated him for what he had done, he had no right to worry over him now.

naturally, his eyes lit up when he saw you take over the role of a nurse, watching over Genya properly.

"he's doing better." you answered, seeing him quiet down and nod. he felt relief settle in his heart, coming closer to hug you.

his head rested on your shoulder, his arms hanging by his side. his heart was trapped in a mix of guilt and relief.

"you know, he told me that he missed you. you should see him.." you told him, knowing the story the two brothers shared was a sad one.

"no.." he simply said, but you could hear the sorrow in his voice. he probably wanted his brother back as much as Genya wanted him.

"thank you for looking after him.."

Giyuu:

he had trouble revealing his feelings to other people, but when he heard Tanjiro being hurt once again, you noticed the look on his face.

when you told him that you'd temporarily look after the young demon slayer, you saw the man relax slightly. he trusted you and he knew you'd do your best.

he wanted to do his best for you as well, deciding it would only be fair to visit you and Tanjiro now and then.

"Tomioka-san!" Tanjiro beamed, nearly making his way out of the bed, but you held him back, letting him remember that he needed to rest as much as possible.

"Tanjirou, are you feeling better..?" he asked, stepping into the room Tanjirou got assigned. he glanced up at you, seeing a soft smile form on your face.

he made his way towards you while he listened to the boy talk.

"i'm feeling so much better already! [name]-san took great care of me!" Tanjirou said, enthusiastically fiddling with his hands. Giyuu moved to your side, placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"thank you for taking care of him." Giyuu whispered against your ear, turning your head to face him. "i have another mission now, wish me luck, love."

you nodded, knowing that you would pray for his return every day, you just didn't know Tanjirou would speak up again. "Tomioka-san! Tomioka-san!"

naturally, Giyuu hurried out of the room.

Gyomei:

"namu, cat cute.." he mumbled, pressing the small animal against his body in a squeezing hug.

you chuckled quietly, seeing the cat meow and wiggle in an attempt to get out.

you had found it a few days ago, the cat couldn't walk due to it's injured paw. when Gyomei came back that day, he was fine with you keeping the cat until it was healthy.

truthfully, he was more than fine with the addition to his home, especially when he found the cat sitting on one of his shirts a few days later.

he took it as a sign that the cat liked him, first feeding it and then trapping it in his arms.

"was this really a good idea? i feel like the cat is getting more attention than me." you teased, not expecting his strong arm to wrap around you as well, now trapping you in the same hold as the cat.

"you're cute too, don't worry."

[biteyoubiteme]

7 minutes

soobin x fem!reader x beomgyu 

synopsis: you play seven minutes in heaven with your boyfriend and his roommate beomgyu. 

warnings: 🔞!!! boyfriend!soobin, shy!beomgyu, reader called girlfriend, mentions of drinking, masterbation (m!rec), slight fingering, nipple play, use of teeth, boobplay obvi, cuckolding ?, prob for got some sorry 

wc: 1.7k

an: anon ask inspired by @miupow s post! not my best work sorry anon ;-; i tried <33 feedback appreciated! [m.list]

“Isn't this game for middle schoolers?” 

“elementary I think,” you add while taking a sip of your drink. 

Someone had proposed to play spin the bottle. Most agreed it was too lame before adding that whoever it landed on would have to spend seven minutes in heaven in the upstairs bathroom. Two party games you didn't expect to see on a college campus but it was the end of the semester and people didn't care what they were doing as long as it involved drinking and some kind of touching. But it would pass the time before you got home where there would be definite touching with the way your boyfriend was watching you. 

When it reached this time of the night you knew you were minutes away from being taken away from the group. soobin was growing quiet as the night went on, gazes lasting longer and longer on your chest, your thighs, your lips. He never wanted to be rude to the people who invited the two of you, needing to stay at least an hour before calling a cab and hauling you to his bed. 

For now, soobin kept you pressed to his side on the couch, the coffee table in front of you being cleared away for the game. “okay who's first?” Yeonjun asks laying his empty bottle down in the center, no one moves to go so Yeonjun claps Beomgyu on the shoulder, “You're up,” 

“best for last, not first,” Gyu raises his hands shrugging but Yeonjun only shoves his shoulder, “Spin the bottle already,” 

You're not paying them much attention because soobins tracing lines up and down your bare thigh stopping right at the hem of your skirt before going back down to your knee. His arm slung around your waist, leaning in to whisper, “Do you wanna get-“ 

“oooo,” the crowd giggles around the two of you cutting soobin off. Both of you look down at the table and the glass pointing right at you. 

“no no no,” soobin shakes his head waving a hand in front of him, “you're not locking yourself in the bathroom with my girlfriend,” 

“scared he’ll steal her?” tae jokes pushing an elbow into Beomgyus side who is looking anywhere but at you. 

It was only a week since Beomgyu came home earlier and heard soobin and you in the other room. A week since he's started to fantasize about being the one to make you moan that loud. Even that day he told himself he would only think about you like that once, only one time would he touch himself with that image in his head. It wasn't hard to cum as fast as he did when he had the soundtrack of you two playing through those thin walls. But for a week you came over every night and even if you and soobin weren't having sex just the sight of you walking through the doorway made him hard. Gyu avoided you like the plague and now the stupid bottle was a blinding arrow pointed right at you dressed in that tight tank top, braless with your nipples peeking through the thin fabric. He could feel his face heating, tried to elbow Taehyun right back to silence the teasing. 

You could tell Beomgyu was a bit embarrassed, the group now going back and forth about how it's the rule of the game, couple or not. You took a final sip of your drink passing the bottle to soobin before leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “It's only seven minutes, you trust me don't you?” 

soobin did trust you, You've never given him a reason not to but Beomgyu wasn't exactly subtle these last few days. Maybe you haven't noticed but soobin had been tuned into the reactions you have been getting from gyu, the way he clammed up when you were around, rushing to his room as soon as you walked in, and the whimpers through the wall mixed with your name. It had only been the one time he had heard; the dorms were not exactly as private as they wanted them to be. And he trusted Beomgyu, only this was an opening he didn't want to toy with. 

at least not until you muttered, “You can listen at the door if you want,” 

soobin has never thought about you with someone else; the idea didn't seem appealing in the slightest, not with one of his friends, not with anyone. Having the roles reversed with him on the other side of the wall made him want you even more and made him realize partially what gyu was feeling. 

When the three of you are on the staircase soobin is leading the way, beomgyu following behind you trying his hardest not to look up your skirt. “we don’t have to do this, it's a stupid game,” but soobins pushes the door open to the upstairs bathroom tugging you in after him. 

beomgyu is standing in the doorway like a deer in headlights, frozen watching as soobin pulls your back to his front, your startled laugh breaking the tension. “come on gyu it’s only seven minutes,” 

“you don't have to if you don't want to,” you say but soobin palms your left boob over your tank top, squeezing enough to make you gasp. 

“yeah if you don't want to, don't come in,'' Soobins resting his cheek against your ear, smirking at gyu like it's a challenge rather than an offer. beomgyu wasn't going to turn away as much as he knew this was not really what he signed up for when he spun that bottle. 

The bathroom wasn't too big but had enough space for the three of you to fit, soobin and you facing the mirror with gyu sitting behind you two on the edge of the bathtub. He had locked the door behind him, your eyes following the way he moved, his cheeks flushed, hands balled in fists on his lap. he was watching the way soobins fingers moved, one hand sliding up the front of your tank top pushing the fabric up your stomach, the other massaging your breast making the outline of your nipples so visible gyu could imagine what they felt like under his fingertips. 

soobin looked at beomgyu through the mirror before asking, “Have you ever thought about my girlfriend when you touched yourself?” 

Gyu gave a surprised cough before clearing his throat, “Um,” but he was distracted as your hand reached up to wrap around soobins wrist, your soft whine mixed with the word, “harder,” soobin kissed your temple indulging in your request. Your head rolling back on his shoulder, heavy-lidded eyes watching gyu. 

“answer the question,” soobin pressed, tugging down one of the straps of your tank, watching gyus throat bob. “we don't have all day, you’re wasting your seven minutes,” 

“yes,” the word comes as fast as the slamming of a door, shutting the conversation of your sanity. You didn't care what soobin had thought up before climbing these stairs, you would play any game set before you. 

beomgyu was painfully hard in his jeans not helped by the fact that soobin was now pushing down your tank top, your boobs spilling out before them. Every fantasy didn't do you justice now, the rise and fall of your chest drawing him in, the path of soobins hands knowing where gyu wanted them to be. “do you want him to just watch or should I be nice and share you?” 

you were rubbing your thighs together at the suggestion, soobin pinches your nipple hard for a response, “Share, please,” 

soobin would give you anything if you asked, this was no different. “gyu?” 

beomgyu didn't need to be asked twice. 

soobin lifted you onto the counter kissing down your throat before dragging his tongue down between the valley of your breast nipping at your skin, you twisted your fingers into his hair watching over his head as gyu stood up. You lifted your free hand out for him and he took it in his. You guided him to your free tit letting him cup your warm skin. He was kneading softly, testing the waters. 

Circling your nipple with his thumb he leaned down to let his lips ghost over your sensitive nub. Your fingers in his hair are enough to push him over the edge and finally taste you. Your back arching into their mouths as they ravaged your skin, sucking marks along any stretch of space they could get. beomgyu was rubbing his bulge against your leg, teeth tugging at you before kissing away any pain, your moans filling the room along with their groans. 

soobin is the one to fumble at his belt first, not able to keep himself together, knowing the second he started to tug on himself while sucking on you he would cum instantly. Gyu was quick to follow, shoving his hand down his pants. He was already leaking making it easier to pick up the pace. They were insatiable when it came to your boobs, soobins heavy gaze on you as he swirls his tongue over your nipple, free hand reaching below your skirt to press to your clit. gyu groaning around a mouthful stopping his hand after every stroke on his swollen cock, if he goes any faster he won't be able to keep himself upright. 

But it doesn't take much for the three of you to reach your climax, soobins long fingers working over your sopping cunt, the stimulation from your nipples sending sparks down between your legs. both of your thighs are covered in their hot cum, beomgyus face pressed into your chest as he tries to catch his breath, soobin brushing the hair back to kiss your flushed cheek. “look at how pretty we decorated you,” 

you untangle your hands from their hair looking down at your chest now adorned in an array of hickeys, your tank not enough to cover the full extent of the darkening red spots. gyu is shyly looking away from you, thumb brushing at the droplets of cum he left, squeezing your thigh. “definitely better than anything I imagined,” 

“let's clean you up and take you home, I'm sure beomgyu wouldn't mind joining us again. I can show him how good these feel,” soobin says taking your boobs in both hands and pressing them together, “wrapped around his cock,”

[hom3landr]

So, I have an honest question. Homelander is used to his bday being a huge deal, but what if the person he is interested in doesn't care about their own bday?

Like he has known them for a year, and they never celebrated their own bday nor ever hinted at it. How do you think he'd react?

Birthday Blues

Homelander x Gender Neutral Reader

Homelander hates when you keep secrets from him. But what’s merely a harmless fact to you pokes a sore spot that you never expected.

You hear him before you see him, eyebrow raising at the angry stomp of his footsteps. You’re finishing up the chapter of the book you’re reading and you hope he doesn’t have beef with you because then who knows when you’ll get back to it. You read as fast as you can, words almost blurring as you hastily scan the page. But alas, before you reach the last sentence, your book is cruelly ripped from you.

Homelander stands over your place on the couch, one hand perched on his hip while the other points your book at you as a replacement for his “oh so imposing” finger that he loves to wave at you. His brow is knitted and there’s no doubt that whatever has his feathers ruffled has something to do with you. You lean back and sigh, contemplating how long you should let him ramble before attempting to calm him down. He’s cute when he’s angry. You can live with a lecture when he looks so good doing it. Although you’re hardly feeling charitable at the moment due to him snatching your book like some kind of barbarian.

“Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday?!” He hisses at you, dropping your book with a thump as he places both hands jauntily on his hips. His jaw clenches as he waits for your answer.

You freeze.

Huh?

You don’t know what you expected but it certainly isn’t that. You had expected him to be fussy about you grabbing a drink with Starlight the other night or helping Ashley with some insane task he gave so he could watch her squirm. You missed a call from him earlier, that tends to set him off. You’d even believe he was feeling sensitive about you waking up before him and grabbing a coffee instead of a good morning kiss. Any of those would be easy to assume. But no, he’s apparently worked up that you didn’t tell him your birthday.

You figured Homelander isn’t a fan of birthdays. He certainly seems cynical about his own. He hasn’t told you the whole story but when he grits his teeth at his birthday obligations instead of basking in the cheers of the crowd, you can easily make the assumption that it’s a sore subject. You don’t have any hang ups about your own birthday but it just never seemed like a big deal to you. It’s just a day. Perhaps too many sneak attacks from the singing staff at restaurants traumatized you. Maybe it’s because birthday cake is always too sickly sweet. Or possibly you just don’t feel like celebrating the passage of time. You never tell people and people rarely ask.

Yet, you can tell by the petulant twist of his mouth that he’s not just angry but hurt that you didn’t share it with him.

“I’m…sorry. I just don’t really think about it that much.” You reply with a confused shrug. His mouth twitches and you know he’s not satisfied with that answer. He’s taking this awfully personally and you can’t for the life of you figure out why. It’s just a day.

“Are you trying to fuck with me? So next time we argue you can bring up what a horrible boyfriend I am for ignoring your birthday! You gonna gossip about it over cocktails with fucking Starlight?” He spits out her name like a curse. You want to roll your eyes but you don’t fancy Homelander flying you to the top of a skyscraper and leaving you there like the last time you tried that. You sigh and reach out to take his hand. He jerks it away petulantly for a moment but when you reach for it again he allows your touch.

“That would make me a pretty shitty partner. I’m not trying to play games with you. I’ve just never really had strong feelings about my birthday. That’s all. I promise.” You squeeze his hand and some of the tension leaves his shoulders. You rub the back of his hand with your thumb, enjoying the feel of the buttery soft leather of his glove. He pouts.

“I’m not a bad boyfriend.” He huffs. You gently tug his hand and guide him until he’s laying on the couch with his head in your lap. It only takes a few strokes of his hair before he deflates like a balloon. He turns to snuggle his face into your chest.

“I’m not.” He sighs into your shirt. You shush him gently.

“You’re my good boy. I know you wouldn’t forget on purpose. You take such good care of me. But why do you care so much about my birthday?” You switch from stroking his hair to rubbing soothing circles on his back. He’s easily mollified today and it further confirms your suspicions that his feelings were deeply wounded. He desperately needs reassurance when that happens. It’s sweet.

“Did you know that my birthday is fake? Corporate decided on it. I don’t even have one since I was…” He trails off and your heart squeezes painfully. He’s cagey about his past but every so often new details will slip out and it horrifies you every time. You continue to sooth him even as your stomach twists unpleasantly. “But you do have one and you don’t even care! Do you know how fucking spoiled you are?”

You ignore the jab although your hackles rise. Poking his ego now would prove disastrous. So you swallow your pride and continue to let him vent.

“I don’t want you keeping things like that from me. You’re mine and I deserve to know things about you. How can I trust you when you won’t even tell me your fucking birthday.” He huffs and you can feel him stiffen up as he works himself back up into an angry spiral. He nips at your stomach hard enough to bruise and you tug on his hair harshly as a reprimand.

“This isn’t me intentionally keeping some secret from you. I don’t tell anybody.” You pause briefly as an idea hits you. “But…maybe it’s your birthday today too.” You answer and he pulls himself away to fix you with a bemused glare. His brow twitches as he processes what you said

“I mean, if you don’t know the actual day. Then technically every day can be your birthday. It’s like Schrodinger's Cat. Screw corporate, pick your own birthday.” You give his shoulder a little shake and your heart lifts when the corner of his mouth tilts into a little smile.

“It’s my birthday today too then. Now you have to celebrate.” He gives you a smug grin and you ruffle his hair fondly. The hurt still lingers. This is a mere bandage over the leaking wound you know still remains. But if you can ease his burden even a little, you’re happy to do so. Even if it means making a big deal out of your birthday.

“The mighty Homelander sharing the spotlight with a humble human like me? It’s pretty scandalous.” You tease and he turns his head to kiss the sore spot where he bit you. He nuzzles into you one last time before sitting up. He leans in to rub his nose against yours, desperately seeking intimacy in such a vulnerable moment.

“No spotlight,” He whispers. “Just you and me.”

You smile and pull him into a chaste kiss. He whines at the brevity of it and you place another cheeky kiss on the tip of his nose.

“Just you and me.”

He grins and his eyes fill with mischief as he meets your gaze.

“That means it’s time for your birthday spankings” He reaches out to swat you when you bolt with a wild laugh, careening and slipping around his apartment in your socks as he gives chase. You realize as you shriek at his games that maybe birthdays aren’t so bad after all…at least as long as no one sings to you.

[haikyu-mp4]

kinda scared to ask this but have you done a kenma x reader panic attack drabble cause i think itd be super cute but if youve already done this then im so sorry for asking T-T

thanks a bunch <33

that is such a sweet request! not sure which one of them you wanted to experience a panic attack, but I decided to have Kenma calm the reader down. also, this might be a bit longer than a drabble, hope that’s still okay<3

How to care for you

word count; 1310 – gn!reader

You hadn’t had any major panic attacks since you were younger. Sure, you struggled with anxiety, but it became less prominent after you found Kenma. He was quite straightforward and dedicated to helping you with anything you might need, and you communicated well even though he was never a big talker. So you frowned while putting away the dishes, wondering why you felt nauseous and couldn’t focus on only one problem at a time. Why did it suddenly feel like double as many problems? You moved to the fridge, looking for the bottle of water you kept in there to keep it super cold when you realised what this was, the reason you were suddenly so scared. A panic attack.

You had problems at work lately, feeling like every coworker used you to make themselves look better, which led to you making mistakes anyway. Then yesterday, you started hearing comments that suggested you probably didn’t care about your job now that you had such a rich and influential husband.

Lately, you also had your suspicions about your friends not inviting you to things anymore, probably because of jealousy, but you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because you weren’t enough. Your pulse started racing, hands sweating, and you slammed the door to the fridge shut, lips parted wide as your lungs desperately tried to catch on to as much air as they could, hungrily taking in more than they could handle at a time.

You didn’t get far before you sat down on the cold floor, back leaned on the front of a kitchen counter. You’re not crying, but your shoulders still shake with pitiful sobs. How stupid of you to get a panic attack again over a problem you made yourself, you think. Did you not appreciate your job? Maybe you had subconsciously started slacking off, and maybe you were rubbing your happiness too harshly into your friends’ faces. There were so many negative thoughts taking over. The only thought that rang a little louder than the others and finally slipped past your lips was a tiny whisper of Kozu, please.

Kenma had his headphones on, testing out a new game on livestream without any hitches, when he could swear he felt like some sound managed to sneak past his soundproof headphones. Or perhaps it was the slightest shaking of his desk that he still hadn’t tightened the screws of even though he kept saying he probably should. Or perhaps it was simply his husband's instinct kicking in, knowing you should still be home after you two had dinner together earlier and you told him you wanted to get some stuff done and didn’t feel like going out with your friends.

No matter how he knew, he only spent a few minutes mulling it over in his mind while chewing on the corner of his lip before excusing himself and pausing the livestream, finally taking the headphones off and getting up. Because he wasn’t a big yeller, he just made his way through your fancy house a bit quicker than usual while his catlike eyes scanned through every room. Until he got closer to the kitchen and could finally hear heaving sobs that made him kick into a small run, bare feet on the cold floor making small pat pat sounds that you couldn’t hear over your raging fears pounding the inside of your head.

Your body jolted slightly when Kozume put his hand on your shoulder and you looked up at him with teary eyes. Your legs were pushed towards your chest, not helping your airflow, so Kozume put his other hand on your closest thigh, smoothing his touch over it to make you stretch it out. “You need to breathe,” he said, a simple instruction that at least made you respond.

“Help me?”

Kozume gulped. In all honesty, he wasn’t confident about how to help you. What if you didn’t respond to what calmed him down? You had been there for him through a couple of panic attacks before, and it had taken a couple of tries before you learnt that soft songs under your breath while holding him not too tightly were just the way to ease him into less deprecating thoughts and fight off the fear.

“Maybe we should move-”

“No,” you said shakily. He knew he was not strong enough to lift you off the floor, so he just nodded and racked his brain for something else. There had to be some strategy here…

“Try to think of something nice, we’re going to that event next week in our cosplays!” he said, voice light as he tried his best to encourage you. You put your hands on your head, squeezing your eyes shut.

“I’ll probably mess that up too, what if something goes wrong and I end up ruining your career!” you answered, the tears finally escaping while Kozume felt hopeless for a second. His heart ached from seeing you like this, he so desperately wanted to help you.

Finally, he had a thought. He shouldn’t be shy around you after all this time, but showing you love still made his ears red. So with burning ears, he sat close beside you and tucked his arms around you, leaning your legs over his lap and supporting your body on his while one hand ran up and down your back and the other massaged where he could reach on your legs to loosen up your muscles.

It was uncomfortable. The edge of the drawer behind him was slightly poking into his shoulder blade and his tailbone was not appreciating the hard floor, but that didn’t matter. Not when you tucked your head under his chin, ear resting on his chest where you could hear his heartbeat. He held you tightly, vocalising every breath he took so that you might find it easier to follow. Then, with that soft voice of his, he said “You’re at home with me. It’s safe, you don’t have to be afraid.”

As the fearful feeling finally started dissipating, you were left with an ache from the strain you put on your muscles, which finally made you slump all the way into your husband’s body. “I did want to go out with friends today, they just didn’t invite me. I’ve been so busy with work but it feels like I’m doing everything wrong there too. My life is falling apart and it’s all my fault.”

He let you ramble because he could feel that your body was more relaxed now, so he just hummed to confirm he was listening. He considered how to answer you, thinking that you probably didn’t need to hear that he could provide for both of you and you didn’t need a job. “Tomorrow, we can look at all the job-related things together and try to strategise. Maybe some knots just need to be loosened up for you to feel more in control,” he suggested, and you nodded from your awkward angle.

“Thank you.” You breathed in and out but it was still shaky.

“Mhm. And I’m sure you know, but your friends kinda suck.” That even made you laugh a little, and Kozume put on a small smile. “I could ask for a double date with the Kuroos again? I want to help you if I can, but I don’t want to intrude.”

“The Kuroo’s are so nice,” you whispered back, making him take a mental note to send his best friend a message later.

You two slowly got up off the floor and he asked you to draw a bath while he ended the livestream with a quick apology and promise of a giveaway at the end of the week. He had to join his partner for some much-needed self-care.

Nothing was more important to him than learning how to take care of you.

masterlist

[ponderingmoonlight]

Lies in the dark

Pairing: boyfriend!Gojo x reader

Word Count: 3,8k

Synopsis: You received pictures of Satoru cheating on you, his longtime girlfriend, with other women. Completely heartbroken you leave him without hearing his side of the story. After weeks of drowning yourself in alcohol, the two of you meet again at Jujutsu High.

Warnings: cheating, language, use of alcohol/drugs, hurt

Your foot tabs against the floor while you wait for his puny figure to arrive in the doorframe. By now it’s far after midnight, actually you are dead tired from all the crying and thinking. But this can’t wait.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise! I didn’t expect you to be awake this late!”

There he stands, casually taking off his blindfold while blessing you with his best cheeky grin. Satoru’s sight alone makes your gut twist in anger and disgust. He really has some nerves to welcome you like that after all he has done.

“You’re pretty late.”

Your voice sounds so cold that Gojo’s blood freezes in his veins. His smile is washed away in an instant, he has never seen you like this. Has something happened? Are you upset for some reason?

“Why do you look like someone died? I’m home, sweet thing!”

Your emotionless eyes glare at him through the darkness of the apartment. Damn, how could you fall for him and his stupid little game? Did you really believe him when he told you that you are the only one, the one and only woman in his life? Fuck, you were so dumb. Too stupid to realize that it isn’t work that makes him come home this late at night. Your mind is numb to the feeling of being betrayed, it isn’t the first time that you get screwed. But you thought that Satoru is somehow different, that he values your feeling more. Well, so much for that.

“Maybe you’re so late because you were with her, huh?”

He glances at you like he has to think about your words, eyebrows narrowed.

“Who do you mean exactly? Mei is out of town. Oh, I visited Shoko because she patched a student back together, but that was in the afternoon. Or was it? I don’t remember exactly…“

Enough of that bullshit. You don’t offer him any more words, instead you just throw your phone at him. The phone that reveals countless messages about meetings, fucking and mocking with other women, pictures of him caressing their basic faces in the way you knew all too well, giving them the affection late at night that you craved so much. And then the words of the woman that called you earlier…

“When he called me sweet thing I thought I was the only one for him until I saw you two on the streets the other day. He never mentioned he had a girlfriend!”

“I began investigating and as it seems, he had a thing with many other women as well. I’ll send you screenshots of every conversation we’ve had the last couple months.”

Sweet thing. The thought of him using your nickname for other woman makes you want to break down and cry. But even though your heart is shattered into a million little pieces, you refuse to gift him a single tear. No, he doesn’t deserve your agony. He doesn’t deserve to see the feelings you have for him. Instead, you just stare at him with blank eyes while sitting in your chair and watching his blue orbs widen in shock.

“(y/n)”, he breathes out, gaze wandering from the screen to you.

“Let me explain-“

“No need to explain anything. I don’t care about how much I liked you and wished this wasn’t true. I told you I’ll leave you alone if you make me feel this way. And I’m fucking leaving, Gojo. Don’t you dare follow me. Y’know, I’m not your backup plan, good luck with whatever you got going on.”

With a swift motion, you lift yourself off the chair and grab your already packed suitcase.

“You can’t leave without hearing my side! I never cheated on yo-“

“Might be true that there’s always two sides to a story. Fuck your weak ass side tho. I’m done here.”

Heels clicking against the hard floor underneath your feet, you confidently cross the room and expand yourself in front of him. Satoru’s huge frame blocks the door, you can’t just get past him. But you need to get out of this apartment filled with dreadful memories and your shattered hopes as soon as possible before you have a complete breakdown.

“I’m serious Gojo.”

“It’s baby for you.”

“Bet she calls you that too. Get away from the door, we are done.”

“(y/n), hear me out”, his form moves towards you, like a predator approaching its prey.

No, you can’t. You don’t want him to get that close to you. You can’t stand him near you.

“Stay away from me”, you choke out, arms wrapped around yourself in a desperate attempt to console your own aching heart.

“I loved you for 8 years, 8 fucking years Satoru! I gave you everything I had and you trampled on that by fucking another woman so basic that I want to throw up. I have nothing more to say to you, it’s enough that I have to endure the sight of you at every damn meeting of jujutsu sorcerers. Now get.out.of.the.way.”

Your cruel words make even Satoru’s heart jump in agony, his shaky breath fills the air. Do you really want to break up with him without giving him the chance to explain himself? He has so much to say, so much to clarify. Fuck, he could end all this madness and your suffering. But it doesn’t matter. He has no choice but to let you go for the moment. Satoru knows you well enough to be aware of the fact that you won’t listen to him in your wrath, always suborn and confident. Apart from that, he himself has no idea who sent these messages to you and where these pictures come from. He has to investigate the matter first before he can face you again. As much as his whole body struggles against it, he takes a step to the side in order to let you go for the moment.

“I love you with all my heart and I’ll do anything to prove that you are the only one for me.”

Boom.

You close the door behind you noisily. Enough of that lying. You stumble into the fresh air of the night, tears pooling your eyes and taking away your sight. Get a hotel, take a hot shower, turn off your phone. Get over the fact that your boyfriend of 8 fucking years cheated on you, get over the fact that your relationship ended in the foulest way. God, it hurts so bad that you want to break down in the middle of the street, your numb limbs still in shock. But you need to get going. After all, you are a grade 1 sorcerer, everyone counts on your abilities. And a man who doesn’t value you shouldn’t be the reason you forget yourself and your aspiration. _________________________________________________________

Hey girl, need a ride to Jujutsu High? Meeting up in 15 min

You sign at the message of Mei on your phone. It’s been three weeks. Three weeks without seeing Satoru’s cheating face, three weeks in which he called you at least 10 times a day, three weeks of constant crying in the pillows of random hotels and filling yourself up with alcohol at clubs around the town. You feel like crap and look even worse from time to time. But today, you have to get yourself together. For the sake of your job, for the other people you care about like Mei and Nanami. Do all of them know what happened? Probably not, you only told Mei about it and Satoru would hardly admit that he cheated on you multiple times.

Do I really have to?

Your white uniform lies untouched in your suitcase, memories of last mission flood your mind. You were with him, laughing, playing, clapping the asses of multiple curses all at once. Everything was fine, everything was great. Life can change so quickly.

Of course you have to, dumbass.

But you have no other choice. With trembling fingers, you put on the white dress with long sleeves and cut outs that emphasize your curves so well and caught the attention of Satoru first. It fits a little looser than usual. Well, given the fact that you mostly live on drinks that’s no surprise. You put on your round sunglasses to hide the dark circles under your eyes which can be no longer covered by makeup and brush through your hair a few times. Admittedly, you look better than the last few weeks, but definitely worse than usual.

Your cream colored heels click against the marble floor of the hotel lobby as you walk outside, Mei’s car already waiting for you.

“You look better than I thought”, she comments when you sit beside her.

“Thanks I guess, gold digger.”

She gives you a small smile before her eyes get serious again.

“I’m here for you today, ‘kay? Might hire someone who kills him though…”

“You would spend money for me? Damn, you must really like me Mei”, you remark sarcastically.

“I’d do anything for you girl. Let’s get this over with, huh?”

The journey goes by far too quickly for your taste, fingertips already shaking at the thought of seeing his stupid pretty face again. What was he doing all this time? Your gut twists in agony. Probably went out with his other women, what else? Do you seriously think he missed you? That breakup doubtless hurt you ten times more than him. His face will wear the same stupid grin as always, his words will sound just as irresponsible as usual. Everything stays the same. Except for the fact that you aren’t by his side anymore.

“God, since when is this ass so punctual”, Mei hisses.

And there he stand, wearing his sunglasses and uniform, leaned against the doorframe while he probably drives Utahime mad with his mocking. Suddenly you are out of breath, lungs refusing their service as your eyes fill with salty tears again. No, you can’t cry now. You were so cool when you left him. He doesn’t deserve your tears or to see your pain. His cheating ass isn’t worth your throbbing.

“Keep it cool”, Mei speaks out with low voice.

Yes, you need to keep it cool. Straighten your back, swing your hips, show him that you don’t care about him at all.

“What’s up everyone”, you snort out, hand resting against your hips while eyeing everyone except Satoru.

“Wow, you’re early. Since when do you come on time?”, Nanami dryly responses.

“Why so rude, Kento? I thought you’d be happy to see me again, we are best friends since school after all!”

“You are a pain in the ass, (y/n).”

Fuck, you can feel his eyes almost eating you up. Your cheeks begin to burn just by the thought of it.

“Are you alright, (y/n)? You look a little thinner than last time”, Utahime comments, turning away from Satoru.

You swallow hard, panic rises inside your chest. For the first time, you don’t want everyone’s attention on you. Come on, just that meeting. An hour and you’re rid of him, an hour and you’re holed up in a random club again.

“You’d lose some weight too if you were me, Utahime. Now stop looking at my perfect ass and get going.”

Your remark catches everyone off guard, especially Satoru and his guilty conscience. For your standards, you look absolutely horrible and your answers have lost their bite. You are just the shell of yourself that slightly smells like alcohol.

“Hey, if there’s something going on…You know we can talk, right?”, Nanami discretely murmurs into your ear, worry lines draw his face.

“Thanks man, I don’t need anybody but myself though.”

And with that, you turn on your heels and walk through the door. Away from his hungry sight, away from their annoying questions. One damn meeting to get over with. One.damn.meeting.

“You look like shit”, Masamichi notes dryly while watching you sit down.

“Stop being so fucking annoying or I’ll quit”, you bark back, glaring at him through the shade of your glasses.

“What’s up your ass, (y/n)? You’re annoying as hell, but in another way. Are you alright?”

You can’t take it anymore. All the questions and fucking looks. As if the slight change of your appearance is the only thing that’s interesting at the moment. Yeah, you are as fine as you can be, on the brick of tears, mind racing just by the thought of Satoru looking your direction, let alone talk to you. But that’s none of anyone’s business. If you have to repeat one more time what happened a few weeks ago you’ll probably break down.

“Stop asking questions and get this meeting over with, I’m not payed enough to be here”, Mei interrupts and positions herself beside you.

It’s all a blur. The words that come out of his mouth seem to fade away before hitting your ear. All you can think about is Satoru who sits towards you, eyes darted on your figure. You don’t have to look at him to be aware of the fact that he is eyeing you up and down, waiting for a chance to talk to you.

Over the last couple of weeks, he tried to call you multiple times, not scared by the fact that you blocked him on every possible communication way the slightest. Why does he have to keep rubbing salt in the wound? The moment your phone rings and his name appears on the screen, you relive the fateful moment of realization over and over again, imagining him fucking another woman mercilessly while you sit at home and wait for him to come back. You know that you are too good for that, that the best thing you could do was leaving his cheating ass as soon as possible. But in your lonely nights when returning from a random club after talking to random strangers you find yourself lying in bed and cry your heart out over the relationship you thought was the best thing that could have happened to you.

“(y/n)?”

“Ayo, you there?”, Mei murmurs into your ear and punches your arms slightly.

You have to blink the pain away, still consumed by Gojo’s presence. Your heart skips a beat. Was someone talking to you?

“I just wish I was somewhere else”, you mutter, eyes directed to the ground.

Fuck, you feel like crying all over again. Why does it have to hurt this bad? Why does he have to be here, eying you up and down as if you were his prey? Why did he have to cheat on you and destroy the live you built together? All of that isn’t fair. You shouldn’t be sitting here, running on drinks with a few hours of sleep a week and a bleeding heart while he seems to be just fine. Your conscience shouldn’t weigh on you when you’re talking to a guy while Satoru is fucking his way through the world.

“(y/n)?”

Your name out of his sinful mouth makes your gut turn in disgust, you feel like throwing up.

“Get my name out of your dirty mouth”, you jeer at him, eyes yanking up to notice that he’s already staring at you with his face all serious.

You can’t take it anymore. With shaky legs you lift yourself up, leaving the room with fast steps. The tears in your eyes start to burn their way through your face and take your sight completely. After all, maybe you aren’t strong enough to simply get over his betrayal. God, you loved Satoru with all your heart. In all these years there was never another guy you even found attractive. You were so loyal, in love and fucking dumb. Too dumb to realize that he in fact does seem to think that you are replaceable.

“Get your ass back in, Gojo. I dare you!”, Mei’s voice threatens from afar.

“(y/n), please hear me out. Give me a chance to explain!”

No, no, no. You can’t bare him near you, let alone hearing your name out of his mouth. You need to leave and never return.

“(y/n)!”

You feel his grip around your left wrist, his touch burning like acid on your highly sensitive skin. God, how often you longed for his touch, to feel his tender fingertips one last time. But this is not right. The thought of his hands caressing you after fondling with other woman makes you want to vomit and burn alive.

“Get your dirty hands off me!”, you cry out, other hand slapping against his cheek at high tempo.

His infinity doesn’t stop your fist from hitting his face with full force. You stare at his motionless figure, breath hanging heavy between the both of you.

“Please, give me a minute to explain. The last few weeks were absolute hell for me and I’ve been dying to see you today.”

Hot tears swell up your eyes once more while agony seems to consume you all over again. Hell for him? What about you? The constant feeling of not being enough, the questions lingering your mind how long this has been going on behind your back, the endless waterfall of tears, not being able to drink enough to forget him.

“You have to be kidding. Tell me you’re not serious about that bullshit. Hell for you? You fucking ripped be apart, Satoru! You throw our life away for sex with a few young chicks! You have no right to be sad about anything!”, you scream on top of your lungs, fighting desperately to escape his scorching touch around your wrist.

“I didn’t cheat on you, (y/n)! I-“

“So I’ve been imagining these pictures of you on top of that slut and the countless messages? Stop this shit right now! You’ve done enough. You-“

“Listen to me, damn it!”, he yells, ruffling his messy hair.

Why? Why does he have to keep rubbing salt in your already throbbing wound? Everything was just fine, you two were inseparable. What about growing old together? What about building a live together? All that, gone in the wind. Just because he decided to fuck someone else.

“The man you see on these pictures isn’t me, I don’t know these women, (y/n). I began to investigate. The man you see is a cursed spirit, a damn strong one that is able to take on the appearance of other living being, including my handsome self. I wish I could tell you why, I wish I could tell you who the hell that woman is. We assume that someone wants to set you off against me so that we both get vulnerable.”

He tears the blindfold from his face, revealing tears that glister in his glossy eyes. Your heart sinks, all you can do is stare at him in a desperate attempt to understand what he’s saying. Can it…be true?

“We?”

“Nanami helped me out. He knows this technical stuff better than I do. (y/n), I would never hurt you like that, not in a million years. You mean everything to me, it kills me to see you hurt like that, even though I absolutely understand why you believed in all of this and didn’t wanna talk with me. Just please, I’m begging on my knees if I have to, give me a chance to find out more about this madness and trust me with this one.”

You don’t know what is happening to you, it feels like you’re going to puke. Is this really true? Did he in fact not cheat on you with these women? His explanation sounds plausible and the shimmer in his eyes tells you that he’s not lying. Satoru was always bad at not telling the truth, his pupils always widen. Not right now though.

You want to collapse on the floor, your head seems to weight a ton from all these emotions, thoughts and possibilities.

“Why didn’t you tell me right from the start?”, you blurt out, voice coated in anger.

“Would you have really listened to me if I had no evidence? I took photos with that thing and couldn’t hold myself back from killing that fucker. Nanami was with me. Please, (y/n). Please believe me.”

You take in the pictures, how there seems to be two Gojo’s in each one. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is all too much. You don’t know what to think or feel. Is this true? Is there really something like a spark of hope left for your relationship?

“No”, you confirm.

You close your eyes for a moment to organize your thoughts and calm your breathing. All this time, Satoru never showed any interest in other woman, he doesn’t even stay in contact with Mei or Shoko regularly. He has no problem with you using your phone to write messages to Nanami or Yuji when he’s busy with something else. No, since you’ve known him, there was never a cause for concern. Satoru tells you over and over again how much he loves you, sometimes you even thought that he might be obsessed with you.

Maybe he didn’t cheat, maybe he did. But doesn’t your longtime boyfriend deserve a trust bonus, a chance to show you that nothing ever happened between him and these women?

When you open your eyes again, they are pooled by tears. Since that dreadful evening, you never allowed yourself to miss, let alone think about him. You tried to drown your feelings in alcohol and drugs. But now he’s standing in front of you, everything could be fine, all of this could be nothing but a failed attempt to separate the two of you. Deep within, you always hoped for it to be a nightmare, a stupid misunderstanding. Is that all it is?

“I-I thought I’ve l-lost you forever”, you stutter.

He doesn’t hesitate. In an instant he pulls you into his arms, presses your body against his beating heart and trembling frame. God, how much you missed getting lost in his warm embrace, to feel his breath brush against your ears. Just now you realize how much it killed you to be away from him.

“Can’t imagine how much I missed you. The thought of losing you…”, his voice breaks and so does your heart.

“I love you Satoru. I love you more than anything else.”

You get lost against his lips, put all the grief of the last weeks into this one kiss.

“Let’s get home, shall we?”, he whispers against your lips.

“Home. Yeah, that sounds pretty good…”

[bamboobooshark]

YOUR WADE WILSON X READER STUFF IS SO PERFECT OMG IM EATING IT UP FRFR

WADE WILSON X READER

‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ DOODLES : 580 WRDS

<RATING: PG-13, SOME LANGUAGE>

A/N : HI ANON TYSM FOR THE COMPLIMENT!!! I really am greatful that you and many others have enjoyed my Wade content so much. Also, hey, so could you possibly guess what happens in this? Could youuuu? It’s about Wade being curious about your self-drawn “tattoos”. I swear it’ll make more sense when you read it!!!

You’re lounging around in your bed like you have been all day. Wade lies next to you while playing some random game on his phone. It’s pretty quiet; the only noises in the room are you and Wade’s breathing and his game. His breaths are more quick and sharp, while yours are shallow and slow. He groans loudly and whines as per usual. “I died again, babe! Can you believe it?” he asks dramatically as he puts his phone down on his nightstand. You crack a small smile that only convinces him to continue. He makes his way to lay his head on your stomach, never ceasing his whining. “Why don’t you care? Why won’t you coddle me like I deserve?” he pouts, putting on his usual act when he wants attention. Wade’s efforts succeed when you let out a soft chuckle and move your arm down to rub his textured chest gently. He lets out an unnecessarily loud sigh before letting his eyes gently close. “Better?” you ask with a smile. "Oh, you bet your ass this is better,” he confirms while leaning into you more by the second.

When Wade opens up his eyes, he stares at your arm in confusion, then up at you. He looks back and forth between them a few times before questioning you. “What’s up with the ink all over your arms, pumpkin? You mapping out some tattoos you wanna get?” You shrug in response. “I just got bored earlier. They’re nothing really,” you tell him sheepishly, slightly embarrassed that he’s so focused on them. His fingers gently trace the set marks on your skin with an intrigued look in his eyes. You feel your cheeks warm more; he’s rarely this careful and quiet with you. You’re so used to him squeezing, pinching, and sometimes gently biting you. His fingers continue to trace the lines as if he were drawing them himself. His hand moves to hold your forearm to get a better look at the doodles. He lets out a curious ‘hmm’ while squinting at your arm. “Oh,” he exclaims while smiling. “These would be really fun to color in,” he says in a tone that begs you to let him. You nod in agreement to his suggestion. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” you sigh to him, and he smiles so hard you see his teeth showing.

Wade stays intrigued for the next few hours with coloring on your stick, trying his best to stay inside the lines because, according to him, if you’re going to allow him to color your “sacred silken skin,” then he should at least try to make it look nice. He bites his bottom lip into his mouth and hums for a moment. “Why did you make this one so detailed?” he grunts. “I don’t know. I told you I was just bored. I didn’t expect to end up with you trying to color in every little doodle,” you chuckled while watching him work inside the lines. “You better make these easier to color next time you draw all over yourself,” he mumbles while pouting. “Do you ever stop complaining?” you ask him as a joke. He gasps and squeezes your forearm a bit. “Will you ever stop giving me reasons to complain?” he sasses back. You widen your eyes as you realize he makes a good argument. “Whatever,” you groan in response. He chuckles sweetly as he finishes coloring in the doodle he’d been fussing about, moving on to the next one.

[lets-just-daydream]

Hello! If it’s not too much trouble I would love to request an Astarion x reader. Maybe just after he has confessed his plan that fell apart and his feelings for Tav, Gale tries to show her a magic trick. A lot of us have experienced this playing the game, but Tav doesn’t really understand what he’s getting at so she agrees. Then ensues protective and angst and hurt/comfort.

WE LOVE A JEALOUS KING (well, I do anyway)

I took some liberties with the confession for ✨funsies✨

It had been a LONG day of checking through Moonrise Towers. You met some very interesting people but now you were settled in camp and ready for a feed and some sleep. 

You sat outside your tent, pulling your boots off and stretching as you looked around. You had certainly camped in prettier places but dark, dingy and safe was better than nothing. Your eyes landed on Astarion who was pacing back and forth in front of his tent, looking uncharacteristically stressed. You watched as he stood up straight, gave himself a resolute nod and turned in the direction of your tent. His eyes widened when he saw you were already looking his way and he gave you a nervous smile. You returned his smile with a blush and as you were about to look away, he beckoned you over with a wave. 

You wondered what he wanted to talk about. Maybe he wanted to talk about the odd drow woman who wanted him to bite her. You stood with a shudder as you recalled him saying that her blood smelled foul. Admittedly, the potion she offered would have been incredibly useful but you'd rather not have it at all and defend Astarion's decision instead.

You approached him and he gave you a smile while he greeted you. "I wanted to thank you for earlier," he began. "With that vile drow."

"Oh, it was nothing at all," you replied. "I'm sorry she kept asking and wouldn't take your no as an answer."

"Yes it was upsetting at the time and… I'd gotten so used to doing what I was told without a care for what I wanted. It was nice to even be able to say no. And… I'm grateful that you stuck up for me. You didn't have to do that. I know that potion would have been worth a lot."

You smiled and stepped forward, shaking your head slightly. "Nothing is ever worth you doing something you don't want to do. I'll never ask you to do that." 

Astarion sighed. Gods you were so nice. Why were you so nice to him? This is why his whole plan fell apart in the first place - because you "genuinely cared about him" or whatever. Well now the stupid feeling was becoming mutual and he wanted to tell you. 

"Anyway, there's another reason I asked you over," Astarion said, his voice slightly hushed as he swept his gaze over the camp. 

The rest of your companions were either at their own tents or chatting around the fire. He noticed that Gale was watching the two of you intently and it took all of Astarion's self-control not to sneer at him. Nosey bastard. 

You waited patiently as Astarion got his thoughts together. It was nerve wracking - he'd never done this before! And really, he didn't know how you were going to take the initial news that he had been manipulating you. You might slap him. He'd probably deserve it, he thought. 

"Anyway, I suppose I should start from the beginning. At first…" He hesitated, looking down at your smiling face. Oh, you were so pretty. "I-I had this plan, okay. It was out of pure self-preservation, nothing personal of course. I just needed to get you on my side and sleeping with you, calling you cute names and all of that nonsense is how I'm used to getting my way."

Astarion watched as your face fell, you looked down at the ground and he swore you were starting to tear up. He reached out for your arm and drew your attention again..

"But then I got to know you, fought by your side and stood by your decisions whether I agreed with them or not. And that's when my little plan fell apart. I've grown genuine feelings for you," Astarion mumbled the last part as he pulled his hand back. 

You looked up at him and gasped lightly. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "Using sex and your feelings as a way to manipulate you was awful, and it's a poor excuse but it's… all I knew. Two hundred years of instinct that I'm now trying to shake, you showed me that there's more to it than that. But I understand if this is where you draw the line."

Astarion gave you a little pout and you felt like your heart could burst out of your chest. You stepped forward and pulled him into a hug, nuzzling your face into his cold chest. He stood there for a moment, not really even sure what to do. He hadn't felt a real hug since turning and this felt so nice. He wrapped his arms around you and pressed his cheek to the crown of your head. You let him hold on for as long as he needed and when he eventually let go, you saw the sweetest smile on his face, fangs bared and laugh lines deep. You were so smitten with this man. 

"I care about you, Astarion," you said just above a whisper. "And I know confessing this took a lot of courage."

His smile stayed and he turned slightly giddy. "I'm so… happy to hear you say that. I've never done anything like this before, this is all so new to me and I don't know what comes next, but this is nice. This is what I want," he breathed. 

You gave him a smile and he reached his hand out to you, you placed your hand in his and his stepped forward, leaning his face down but someone cleared their throat behind you. 

You jumped slightly and Astarion looked at the intruder behind you, his eyes turning from soft into a hard glare. 

"What do you want, boot muncher?" Astarion asked. 

You turned around and saw Gale standing there, arms crossed as he brushed the snide comment off. "I need to talk to our friend, here." 

You felt Astarion's grip on your hand tighten but you looked up at him with a soft smile and he nodded, letting your hand go. You loathed to leave him after having such a deep moment but you had other friends who also needed your help. 

"I'll be right back," you whispered before following Gale over to his tent. 

You stood there as he clapped his hands together with a grin on his face. "I've been meaning to ask how much you know about the Weave." 

"The Weave? Just that it's linked to magic," you replied, raising a brow. 

"It’s an incredible feeling and I just learned how to share it, if you want to feel the magic of the Weave,” Gale said, his voice dropping. 

You felt eyes boring into your back and you glanced over at Astarion who held a book in hand but was staring at you intently before averting his eyes back down to the page. 

“Well?” Gale asked, pulling your attention back to him.

“Sounds like fun,” you said with a shrug and grin.

Gale smiled back at you and straightened his back, telling you to do as he did. You watched his hands intently as he did a quick and smooth flourish that caused purple sparks to fly in front of you. 

You stared at the space where the sparks disappeared and then gazed back at Gale’s hands, recalling his movements as you copied them as best as you could remember. Purple sparks also flew out in front of you and you laughed, hardly believing you pulled it off. Your body felt like a warm blanket had been wrapped around you and you glanced up at Gale who was already grinning down at you. 

“Nice work,” he praised. “Now repeat after me and picture harmony…”

He said some magic words slowly so you could follow, which you did and tried to picture what harmony even was. Your mind wandered to Astarion and the calm you’d felt when you shared a hug not long ago. Soft, warm magic suddenly erupted around you and you let out a half sigh, half giggle that you had done it! Gale looked down at you with a smile and you felt a shift in the energy surrounding you when your eyes met. He stepped closer to you and reached to cup your cheek in his hand. 

At that movement you gasped slightly and stepped back, the magic around you falling as you were embraced by the cool breeze of the night once again. 

“Oh, I… I see,” Gale murmured. “I misunderstood, I thought…”

You offered him a sympathetic look and bit your lip. You did feel a little bad but you just didn’t feel that way about him. You turned once again to Astarion but he wasn’t looking at you, he was staring daggers into Gale, his hands and jaw clenched. This was certainly a ‘if looks could kill’ moment and you rubbed Gale’s arm comfortingly before he excused himself into his tent. 

Your stomach twisted uncomfortably as you turned away from his tent to approach Astarion’s but he was already stalking over to you. He wrapped his slender fingers around your arm, pulling you away from Gale’s tent, a scowl on his face. 

“Sleazy, little good for nothing…” Astarion fumed as the pair of you made it back to his tent and stepped inside. “What was that?!” 

You looked up at Astarion’s stern face and shrunk back into yourself slightly. “I- I don’t know he was teaching me how to use magic and then, well you saw what happened.”

“I knew he was up to no good when he came by.”

“Well, anyway,” you said. “I rejected him. So you don’t have to worry.”

Astarion sighed and rubbed your arm, his other arm coming to wrap around your waist. “It’s not you I’m worried about,” he whispered.

“Are you okay?” You asked. 

You nodded. You could understand, he had just bared his feelings for you and someone else had made a move on you only moments later. You each let out a soft sigh and Astarion leaned down and touched his nose against yours, inhaling your scent and rubbing against your skin softly. You leaned up and gave him a soft kiss, his lips pressing harder against yours as his eyes slipped closed.

His grip around your waist tightened and you scrunched your hands into his shirt, a soft moan escaping your throat. You could spend forever pressed against his body like this but he eventually pulled back, and gazed at you with dilated pupils. His expression seemed like he was at odds with himself. He wanted to claim you as his, right then and there on the floor of his tent - to have you as he wanted because you were his heart’s desire. But on the other hand it was still so new to be vulnerable and he didn’t know if this was the right thing to do. If there even was a “right” and “wrong” way of navigating this.

Astarion’s hand slipped from your arm down to your hand and he laced his fingers between yours. “This is just so new to me I don’t know what’s normal… what I’m doing,” he said softly.

You laughed softly and stroked his hand with your thumb. “Just do whatever feels right. You’re your own person and I care so much about you,” you said. “We can take this as slow as you need us to.”

Astarion let out a sigh of relief and pulled you against him in an embrace. He truly believed he would never get enough of feeling your body pressed against his.”Would you like to spend the night with me?”

“Of course,” you breathed, stepping back and sitting on his bedroll. You pulled him down with you and he huffed out a laugh as he landed next to you. You recalled the day you had and you smiled, remembering Astarion’s confession and then your heart dropped as you remembered the moment you shared with Gale and how utterly dejected he was. You hoped it hadn’t impacted your friendship too badly and you certainly hoped he would leave the camp because of it. 

Astarion sensed your change in mood and asked you what was wrong.

“I’m just worried about Gale,” you said. 

Astarion’s tone hardened. “What about him? He’ll be fine.”

You sighed as you hoped Astarion was right. 

“Now, what do I need to do to get him off your mind and get me into it?” Astarion asked as he laid you back and cradled you in his arms. 

“Nothing,” you said with a slight laugh. “Earlier, he asked me to picture harmony and damned if I knew what the hell that meant. But then I started thinking about you and that’s when you saw that burst of magic.”

“Really?” Astarion asked, peering down at you. 

You nodded your head and he pulled you into his chest, his face in your hair. “So don’t worry, you’re already on my mind.”

[fireya-x]

AO3 Link (for the full fic) || masterlist

One day, Captain John Price brings his team home, a small house in a London suburb, after a mission that changed everything. You didn’t know that you would soon be back in the field again, chasing demons.

If only you knew that sometimes, what you believed to be true wasn’t always as it seemed…

[22 chapters || 73k+ words]

cw: violence, injuries

Chapter I - before the worst

Flashback

2019

Kate Laswell was tapping her nails on her data pad impatiently, watching the man in front of her pace from left to right in her office like a predator ready to pounce. Just about sixty minutes earlier, they had received info that something was supposed to go down at the game at the Verdansk stadium that night. Something bad. 

John Price sighed and came to a halt. “I want her with us. She’s the best analyst I know. She knows the team, she is reliable.”

It was Kate’s turn to sigh. “I can’t do exceptions because she’s your girlfriend.”

“We need her and you know it. I’m not asking.”

“She’s not authorized to be on this team. We can’t just steal her away from her unit without the paperwork.”

“Kate, since when do you care about the paperwork? This is Makarov. She stays out of action and feeds us info. That’s all.”

Laswell looked up and was met by a facial expression shaped by determination, and blue eyes were piercing hers. She knew right then, there was no use fighting once John had his mind set on something. She knew him too well for that. “Fine. Call her. We need to leave. If the info is right, we don’t have much time.”

Price nodded and grabbed his phone, not wasting another second.

Your phone was vibrating on the kitchen counter, and as soon as you saw it was John, you dropped your fork and answered instantly. The Chinese takeout was immediately forgotten. There were two possible scenarios John would call in the middle of the day while he was at work: something bad or something really bad.

You didn’t even get a greeting, so it must be the latter.  “Ava, grab your things. We’re leaving for Verdansk, picking you up in 10. I’m sorry this is such short notice, but it’s bad.”

Your brain didn’t even have the time to process what you were just told, you desperately tried to find any question to ask to let him know you paid attention. But before you could even do so, the call ended. This wasn’t uncommon, but you were surprised that you would join John on a mission - this had never happened before. 

By the sound of his voice, there was no room left for any hesitation, so you grabbed your go bag as if on autopilot. You always had one ready in case you were called in, but usually it was never something like this.

You checked the stove, the windows and locked the door. A car was waiting outside already. Did he fly there? You were sure the call didn’t even end five minutes ago.

You got into the car and could already tell by John’s stance that he was in full Captain mode. No time for greetings.

“You stay under Ghost's command at all times. You’ll be at exfil in the helo.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Love, I mean it. Stay out of any combat unless it is absolutely necessary. You’re not officially authorized to be here, but since it’s Makarov, I need all my best soldiers in this.”

“Understood.” Makarov. Like a punch to your gut. You were taken on a mission that involved Makarov? 

“If there is anything off, you radio us. Don’t hesitate and think it’s insignificant. Anything feels wrong, you tell me.”

“I will.” He handed you a manila folder with the mission brief. You wanted to ask if he is sure about you being there, but you didn’t dare to. It was obvious the situation demanded you to be your full professional self, so you took a deep breath and clutched the folder close to you.

The car parked directly on the hem of a plane, which was ready to take off. It was only missing you two. “You’ll have roughly an hour to study that brief.” He said as he grabbed both your bags and slung them over his shoulders. 

You saw Laswell standing at the rear ramp of the plane, awaiting you. When you got to her, she handed you a data pad.

“You will have full surveillance access. I suppose I don’t have to explain anything to you.” You shook your head. 

She smiled and shook your hand. “I heard you’re good at what you do, so this is your chance to prove it.”

“Yes, ma'am,” You answered, and a hand on your back urged you to board. Familiar faces greeted you, and that’s when the feeling hit you again. You realized you would really be part of 141 for the first time. Even if it was just for intelligence, you were there, with them. With John. If only this could always be the case - but who were you kidding? You were not as experienced and lethal as any of these men. You’d be a liability, exactly why you would stay out of anyone's way and just quietly look at your data pad. But one could dream. 

You took a seat next to Gaz, who greeted you with a fist bump when you sat down. Soap, sitting opposite, smiled from ear to ear, ready to tease his Captain about his girlfriend, no matter how serious the situation you were in. But he knew better, so he just kept looking between you and Price, chewing his gum and looking like he was planning something mischievous.

Ghost was buried in the mission brief, same as you were about to be, and didn’t pay any attention to you.

“Okay, listen boys,” Price began and was interrupted by Soap immediately, who giggled and whispered, “And girl.”

Price sighed. “Gaz, Soap and me will jump right into a truck and get to the stadium as fast as we can. We can’t land close, so that’s our only option. Ghost and Fox, there will be a helo waiting for you. You’ll be our exfil.”

Then he turned to you. “Like I said, you're under Ghost's command as soon as we leave this plane.” He didn’t actually have to remind you, he was just looking for a reason to turn his attention to you and look into your eyes. Maybe for his own reassurance, to gather strength to prepare for battle, maybe to remind himself that he had someone to come out of this battle alive for. 

You blinked slowly and smiled. “I know, Captain.” 

As much as you would like to grab his hand and tell him everything would be okay, this was neither the time nor the place for it. Also, you weren’t sure if you would believe yourself. The touch of your hand would probably give away how nervous you were, as you were trying to hide it by holding on to the mission brief as tightly as you could. It was a mission brief like any other, just that this time there were so many civilians and a notorious terrorist involved.

You paid extra close attention to exits and possible evac points. With a pen, you drew circles on the printed map in front of you, drawing double lines where the guys would enter the stadium. It would certainly help you with surveillance, and somehow you weren’t sure if you should be relieved that you had access to surveillance or should be worried about what you could possibly see.

In a small moment that you didn’t expect, the Captain broke out of his character, and a hand found your chin. The scratchy fabric of the glove he was wearing tilted your head up so you would look at him. He didn’t say a word, but offered you a smile in return to yours earlier. Just a fracture of a second, and then his entire demeanor shifted back to serious mode.

“We’re 2 minutes out. Get ready.” His voice loud, speaking over the roaring engine for everyone to hear.

And then it all happened so incredibly fast. Price, Gaz and Soap jumped into the truck that was waiting for them, while you and Ghost stayed behind. You knew him, you had met him a few times before when John introduced you, but you always had a feeling he didn’t like you very much. You knew he wasn’t a man of many words, but that didn’t really help with the feeling.

Ghost nodded towards you when you exited the plane, then gestured for you to follow him. He led you to a helicopter, and when you entered, your breath got caught in your lungs. General Shepherd was sitting there, equally stunned when he spotted you.

“Hello, sir.” You said and saluted, but he just looked right past you.

“Is this a joke?” He was clearly talking to Ghost.

“No, sir.”

“What is she doing here?”

“Intelligence, sir.”

“Who authorized that?”

“Laswell.”

He had his phone out faster than you could blink. You turned to Ghost, who looked like he didn’t give a damn about what was going on. He grabbed a sniper rifle from his weapons bag and prepared it. 

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, Laswell?” Your attention was back to Shepherd, who was clearly upset about you being there.

“There is no time for this, General. Let her do her work, you won’t be disappointed. Don’t let her leave the helo under any circumstances.” Laswell was clearly not amused by the call, you could hear her voice booming through the cell.

“I don’t take orders from you, it’s the other way around, and I say she can’t be here.” 

“Well, it’s too late for that. She has my data pad. Let her do her work.”

The helicopter took you closer to the stadium, close enough to have a view of it, but far enough away to stay out of any trouble. But the situation was worse than you had anticipated. Either nobody knew, or you weren’t told so you’d keep your cool. Either way, the sight of fire and smoke rising from the building and upset civilians running everywhere made you feel uneasy. You watched as the chaos seemed to be in full progress. You weren’t here to prevent anything, you were here to do damage control. You came to realize that this was about capturing the terrorist, not stopping an attack.

You instantly started to worry about the others who would run into this mess head on. 

“I’ll be on overwatch. I’ll be back for exfil.” Ghost said, not even looking at any of you, and then he was gone. He had pulled you out of your thoughts, and that’s when you realized you needed to get a grip. It was a terrorist attack. The team relied on you for information. This was no time to be worried.

You sat on the opposite side of the helo, trying to avoid any possible conversation with the General. You took out the data pad and started getting to work. Laswell had thought of everything, you had access to surveillance, news and police reports and even the hospital communication.

“Oh shit.” You muttered, Shepherd instantly focusing on you. “What now?” A very annoyed sound left his mouth, which made you want to roll your eyes at him. If everyone else was confident about bringing you here, he should not be so dismissive towards you. But could you blame him? Probably not.

You focused on the data in front of you. Stolen ambulance reports, break ins into several hospitals - it couldn’t have been a coincidence. In the past hour or so, there were reports across the entire city that uniforms, medical equipment and ambulances had been missing. On the surveillance cameras, you spotted paramedics and ambulances everywhere. Of course, you did. There were casualties everywhere. But why would the reports be about stolen properties when the medical staff were there doing their job? 

You knew the answer.

You fumbled with the buttons on your radio. “Fox to Bravo 0-6, don’t trust the paramedics, I repeat, the paramedics are his men!”

You didn’t hear anything back immediately, and the General shot you a worrying look. He suddenly didn’t seem to mind that you were there anymore.

Static came back through your radio. “The police, too. They are shooting at civilians!” Soap’s voice roared through the helo. 

“Heard, Fox. We just found out the hard way. No sign of Makarov, moving ahead. Gaz out.” You always noticed that Gaz was usually the one keeping a level head in these missions.

“What do you mean, you found out the hard way?” You cringed a little for asking this question as soon as it was out of your mouth, since it was not really professional, but you knew this mission was way more serious than anything you had ever done. So naturally, you were worried about everyone.

A few moments passed before a voice spoke through your radio. “Soap got hit in the chest plate. No need to worry. We have it under control and thanks to your info we might have a lead.” Price’s voice calmed you down a little. “Gold Eagle Actual,” Price’s voice was audible once again. “Explosives located, but no sign of Makarov.”

“Copy. They set up a cordon, so he will have to exfil fast. Don’t let him escape.” Shepherd answered, also looking at a data pad.

“Roger that. Fox, check surveillance in the garage for anything suspicious. If an ambulance is how they got in, it might be their way out.”

You pressed the button on the radio. “Got it, Captain. Fox out.” You answered and immediately went to work. But no matter what camera you accessed, it was no use. Everything was blocked by buses or the camera was showing you images of black and white static. You could offer absolutely no help.

You kept switching back and forth, but to no avail. There were no comms, nothing. It was as if suddenly there was a standstill and nothing was moving. The camera footage was more like a photograph. You looked at the General, who was on the phone with someone, he didn’t seem to be as bothered by the situation as you were. 

“All stations. We have Makarov. Moving to the extract.”

A heavy weight that kept spreading on your shoulders was suddenly gone. You looked up at Shepherd, who looked more smug about the terrorist being caught than relieved to hear that the soldiers were alive and well.

The helo started to lift off, moving in closer for exfil.

“We’re on the east side of the stadium. What’s your status?” Price asked.

“We are close.” Shepherd looked through the window, then checked his watch. 

Ghost’s voice boomed through the radio for the first time this day. “Be advised, there is enemy personnel moving in from the north. I’m on overwatch, providing sniper support.”

“Affirm. We see the helo. Meet you at primary exfil. Six out.”

There he was. The most wanted terrorist sitting about six feet away from you. He was restrained and unarmed, and you were surrounded by the best soldiers you knew, yet his presence made you incredibly anxious. It didn’t help that he was smirking, staring at you. 

“Didn’t know you had such beautiful women around, General.” His thick Russian accent was poisoning the surrounding air.

“Shut up.” Price said.

“She can’t speak for herself? That mouth only good for -”

“Shut up.” You responded in what little Russian you could muster, your British accent thick with it though, definitely better in understanding than speaking it.

His grin only grew wider. “Russian sounds filthy from your lips, love.” Your stomach twisted. 

“Don’t call me love -”

“She said shut up.” Ghost said at the same time. “What’s the rest of your plan?”

“Ah, Simon Riley. I expected you to stay at the airport. And die there.”

“Don’t threaten my men, Vladimir.” General Shepherd leaned back against the helo and grabbed onto the railing for support.

"I asked you a question." When you looked at Ghost, he was towering over Makarov, Soap just a few inches next to him. They both looked absolutely terrifying, at least to you.

“This.” Makarov answered, still with a smirk on his face.

Price leaned forward. “What do you mean, ‘this’?”

“Amazing, you’re all dumber than you look.”

Then suddenly there was a loud bang in the distance. Your ears rang with a high-pitched noise for a second, before you could even realize what just happened. There clearly was an explosion somewhere. You looked at Price, whose eyes immediately found yours to assure himself you were okay, and you gave a slight nod.

Ghost looked out of the window to confirm. “The airport! He pulled us off target!”

“You fuckin’ sonuvabitch!” You had never seen Soap lose his temper before. They tumbled and moved so fast you could barely follow, but suddenly, Makarov was on the ground, Soap above him, with his gun aimed at the terrorist’s head. “I’ll blow your fucking brains out, Makarov, you hear me? I swear to god, I'll do it!” Soap shouted, and suddenly everyone tried to talk louder over the other. Price was trying to deescalate the situation, Makarov was taunting Soap to pull the trigger, General Shepherd was barking out demands for everyone to stand down. “I say we need him alive. Captain, get your soldier to stand down!”

“Sergeant, stand down.” Price repeated. “We have him, he is in custody, he’s not going anywhere.” His hand rested on Soap’s shoulder as if it would calm him down.

A few more seconds passed before Soap retreated, Makarov was being pulled off the ground while tutting towards him. 

“I’ll be seeing you again, MacTavish.” 

That grin. It was burned into your memories from this moment forward.

The words echoed through your head. He was going to be in the most secure gulag possible, yet somehow the words still haunted you. 

It wasn't just a threat. It was a promise.

[chapter 2 and the rest of the fic on AO3]

[pinejayy]

I’ll make you remember me (Muzan Kibusetsji x F!Reader) PT 2

here’s part two from part 1, so please enjoy!! uwu

trigger warnings: Muzan kidnapping you and blood

Muzan carried your body, as he was walking around the infinity castle. He was carrying around you limp body, still knocked out but as Muzan held you over his shoulder and as he was walking around a few of the Upper Moons was there. And the Upper Moons gave him a look, as they’ve never seen a human here before. 

“Ah Sir! It seems like you brought us Dinner?! Douma said playfully. As he ran to Muzan, looking at your body. The Upper Moon Demon couldn’t help but stare at your body and he realized thar you were still alive. “Ah she is still alive! This will make it more fun!”

Muzan looked at him and just gave him a side eye as he continues to walk away. “If you lay a finger on her, I’ll make sure to give you a slow and painful death.” He said, turning over looking at Douma, and his head snapped to the direction of the other Upper Moons. “The same goes to everyone.”

And with that the Demon King walked leaving the Upper Moons alone and Douma just stoof there with a huge grin up his face. Oh he’s definitely gonna have to see you later on. As Muzan walked into his room, he dropped your body on his bed and he sighed. As he looked at your body he couldn’t help but feel warm, he finally found you. Now he just had to play the waiting game...he grabbed a chair and placed in front of the bed and as he sat on the chair he smirked to himself.

As a few hours have passed by he continued to stare at you, you started to wake up slowly. 

You slowly opened your eyes, you had a bad headache. Sitting up you rubbed your eyes and groaned you still weren’t fully aware of the Demon looking at you. “Was this a bad dream?” You thought to yourself.

“No it’s very much real my Darling.”

Jumping as you heard a voice speak to you and looking around the room you saw a pair of pinkish eyes, seeing nothing but eyes and dark a shadow. Soon after the shadow got up and stared to walk towards you. And you started to panic as you wanted to run off but you were quickly caught. As the person pulled you close you look at them and see the man from earlier. 

“You?!” You yelled out, trying to struggle away from his grip, he had a harsh grip on your arm. “I told you I don’t know you.”

And he just stood there smirking at you. “Oh darling, but you do know me.” He said, letting go of your arm. “And don’t think about running off because it won’t end pretty for you. Now sit down.” He said, but the last part of his last words sounded more harsh than anything. 

Making you sit down quickly as you looked at him, he sat besides you. He took a deep breath and he grabbed your hand, his hands were ice cold. “You really don’t remember me?” 

You move you hand away from his, and shake your head. “I don’t..please let go of me.” You beg out, looking at the man. Making him sigh, he got a little upset when you moved away from his. He just sat there in silence and then forcefully grabbed your hand and held it tight, crushing it making you cry out in pain. He forcefully grabbed your face and making you look into his cold eyes. 

“How could you possibly be so stupid! How don’t you remember me Y/N! I loved you, I cared about you so much!” He hissed, his grip on you face tighten, and his nails digging into your cheeks, digging into your flesh. Tears streaming down your face, tears and blood started to run down his hand, making him smirk. “It’s a shame that you don’t remember me, I miss those long nights with you, I miss everything about you Darling.” He began saying and with that he let go of you, and as you just sat there crying softly. Muzan looked at the blood dripping from you cheek and he leaned in and placed his cold tongue against your face and began to lick off your tears and blood. 

Whimpering as you felt a bit of stinging, and the taste of your blood made him groan under his breath. “I forgot how sweet and divine your blood was Darling.” He growled lowly, he wanted more but he didn’t want to hurt you yet..so he pulled away. “Don’t worry Darling you’re going to remember me one way or another.” 

And with that he stood up. “As for now you’re going to stay here, I’ll go out and bring you some of your favorite foods and clothing. Stay here and don’t leave.” And with that he left the room, leaving you alone. 

Curling up into a ball you began to cry softly. You didn’t know what was going on, you didn’t know this man. You didn’t know him, but something about those eyes of his made you think...they seemed so familiar but you couldn’t think of anything. As you sat there thinking about your current position you heard a knock on the door. Was is the man again? Why would he be knocking on his own door?

Maybe it was someone here to safe you! Quickly you got off the bed and ran to the door and open it, and you were shocked. You didn’t see the man who brought you here you saw someone different. Looking up you saw a pale man with colorful eyes. 

“Hello dear? Can I come in?” 

taglist: @mysupercoolfrisk837763blr @alexkibutsuji @alexluvs911 @dirtyprxncess @pinkpurple11 @modesame @flakeygod @curlyfries14liv @canthebest1 @https-archangel​

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SEMI FINALS

*NOTE; propaganda is out of order due to the post length!

Eugenides Propaganda:

the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time

Kim Dokja Propaganda:

I haven't read orv but he's fucking gotta be from what I've osmosised

He tries to remove his emotions out of the narrative soooo much, literally the most repressed guy ever. Okay so for context orv is about how this guy, Kim Dokja, has been the only reader of an obscure post-apocalyptic webnovel for years and the novel suddenly becomes reality. And at first you'll probably get the weird impression that his behavior is pretty strange for, you know, a literal apocalypse happening in his world - like yes, he is concerned with survival but he doesn't seem all that scared and he kinda treats it like a video game where he has to grind to make himself stronger and he also treats his companions like a party in an rpg. Then there's also the way he approaches the protagonist of the webnovel, from the start he just kind of describes him as a ruthless psychopath and jerk that is unfortunately a pretty useful ally. And also there's the fact that he carefully omits any mention of his past and when somebody asks if he's worried about his family when the apocalypse starts he just kinda... brushes it off? Anyway so yeah, this bastard is definitely traumatized, although I don't know how much of spoiler territory that would be, considering the fact that literally when he first reveals his trauma he's also unreliable about it. And turns out he does indeed, care A LOT about this world and the people around him. Because well, he kinda didn't care to mention that this webnovel that has become reality was like... literally his whole world before it literally became his whole world. Like, it was the only thing keeping him going for 10+ years and the protagonist that he likes to call a stupid jerk was his comfort character who he pretended to be when he felt like he couldn't handle something in his life by being himself. The protagonist is also canonically the person he loves the most according to a prophecy and he literally can't fathom the thought of him dying, even the timeline versions of him that directly oppose him. And I haven't even mentioned the Fourth Wall yet but I feel like this propaganda is a little long already

misreading the intentions of his companion (yoo joonghyuk) so many time.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDDD DOKJA IS SUCH A UNRELIABLE NARRATORRRRRR GOD I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE DOKJA TOO BUT OMG HE'S JUST SO AAAAAAAAAAAH

Rest of Propaganda under cut!

he is the worst like actually. he starts the story talking about how normal and average he is. he is not. he is constantly mischaracterizing his friends and he's so good at lying to the readers that you don't even realize it at first. almost every single time he cries we have to be told by other characters because he never says it himself. there is literally a scene where his narration says "i wasn't crying" and then the in-universe entity that narrates the actions of people (orv is really weird and meta) says that he was, in fact, crying. honestly genuinely anything he says about himself (or doesn't say) cannot be trusted. he is just so frustrating. he drives me mad. i love him dearly. but he drives me so mad.

Dictionary definition of unreliable narrator. Does not tell the reader anything and then things happen and he's like oh yeah btw there was also this and this earlier but i just didn't feel like mentioning it. There's even a thing called the "Fourth Wall" that is able to see through kdj's bs so occasionally you get gems like,

Kim Dokja: I didn't cry

The Fourth Wall: [Kim Dokja was crying]

Imagine being so unreliable as a narrator you need a more powerful narrator to call out the actual narrator.

^ same submission, just spacing it out

This goes into spoiler territory, but; Kim Dokja is in possession of a skill called the Fourth Wall, which on the surface seems like it appears because he read the book that reverse-isekai’d into his own. However, as the story goes on it becomes clear that it’s pretty much a souped up version of his pre-existing dissociation. You cannot trust him to be honest about his feelings, his past traumas or his feelings about his past traumas, not to mention his tendency to just outright omit information that only gets revealed later on either when it becomes relevant or when an outsider POV reveals what’s actually happening.

Exhibit A: he says (in 1st person POV) that he’s not crying. The Fourth Wall immediately contradicts this (as it is literally words of the novel) by saying (in 3rd person POV) ‘Kim Dokja was crying’.

Exhibit B: Fails to mention entire actions when it shows him emotionally honest even in the slightest; we had to read from another character entirely when Kim Dokja was being physically affectionate with his companion. It’s so bad that there’s this entire paragraph about Kim Dokja describing himself hiding his eyes in his hands in jerky, weirdly specific detail and just AVOIDING EVERY WORD THAT MIGHT SHOW HE’S CRYING. The brilliance of ORV is that when you re-read the entire thing you get hints that ‘yes, this WAS hinted at the entire time’ but you have to dig it out of Kim Dokja’s repressed, depressed self-hating internal dialogue with your own two hands.

^ same submission, spacing it out (i really should've done this earlier.)

i am a simple man (not a man). i see a tumblr text post with the words “unreliable narrator in it”. i read nothing else. i reblog & tag #kim dokja okay but in all seriousness i’m just going with the musty basic example: so there’s this moment where he sacrifices himself to save this guy. as he lays on the ground bleeding out, he says “hey, you don’t like me, right? you should kill me to get some money” the guy says “no kim dokja i cant do that (going through the five stages of grief except there’s only one and it’s anger)” the constellations (twitch viewers irl) are like omg he (the guy) doesn’t want to kill his companion (kim dokja) and shower him (the guy) with money kim dokja: oh, he’s not killing me for the money. smart!

as i quote a brilliant youtube video (all of omniscient reader’s viewpoint in 6 minutes) “yoo joonghyuk sees kim dokja as a c_____”

yoo joonghyuk: companion

kim dokja: cunt

^ same submission, once again. spacing it out.

Hides his true feelings, tells the readers what he thinks is convenient for the plot and that his own personal feelings don’t matter or are not so significant. Has unreliable thoughts abt his companion and is a liar. And is also an omniscient reader.

Kim Dokja always perceived his companions in this like nonchalant way like “oh yeah we get along but really we’re just fighting to survive (apocalypse setting) it doesn’t run that deep” when they all do genuinely care for him and he does in turn. He just, doesn’t think of it as an equal relationship? Dokja’ll sacrifice a lot for them but will get seriously flabbergasted if they do the same thing, so fricking problematic. Not to mention Yoo Joonghyuk, his “Life and Death Companion” (read: husband). Kim Dokja always seems to think that Joonghyuk has it out for him, which is kinda true, but he is literally blind to the fact that he’s attached to him. Like, it’s so obvious??? Also they have hella sexual tension but that’s another thing entirely

se get some many pov changes where kdj in his pov just assumed things based on what he knew the characters would do. however because of his interference the characters have changed and he wouldn’t know that if it hit him in the face

He's an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and thus the audience. He literally rewrote his own childhood core memory. If someone says, "this guy is my friend!" He will go through so many hoola hoops in his mind just to rationalize it. Because he fundamentally believe that no one could love him and even if they did they couldn't know him and he's just gonna hurt them. He cries sometimes in canon but a lot of those times it's not even mentioned as crying he's that unreliable of a narrator. No joke, one time this guys he has a gay thing with called him his "companion" to someone who had just killed him (long story) and this bitch thought "oh wow he's doing it for the coins (another long story) he's so smart i wish I'd thought to that. He's terrible. He literally has an exchange with something called the Fourth Wall (an even longer story) where it said "you're crying" and he said "no I'm not" but he was crying. He makes me insane because the reader is supposed to project onto him. He made me see how much of an unreliable narrator I WAS. ORV is just like that tho.

[horanghaeluvsinniehae]

SKZ!BFF DRUNKLY CONFESSING PT.2 pt.1 ||BANG CHAN||LEE MINHO||SEO CHANGBIN||HWANG HYUNJIN||HAN JISUNG||LEE FELIX||KIM SEUNGMIN||YANG JEONGIN||

Disclaimer: overthinking(i think)

Your mind decided to play games on you…overthinking the texts you’ve just sent to each other. He said he’d like to clear things up. Does that mean he was just drunk and didn’t mean a word? He wants to make sure you know that he doesn’t like you and that it was just a big mistake??

You’ve had a crush on him for over a year now and all you ever dreamed of is to have a chance with him. Sadly for you it’s hard to figure Seungmin out, he doesn’t wear his heart out on his sleeve. That’s the reason why you haven’t confessed to him yet, you never know how he’s feeling about you.

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked down on your appearance. As soon as you realised what you're wearing you quickly ran to change. One time Seungmin left a t-shirt at your house when all of the boys were here and since then you wear it when he does something that messes with your head. You haven’t told him about his forgotten shirt so you don’t have to give it back…

After you changed into your own clothes and washed your face with cold water to freshen up you heard your doorbell ring. It could only be him at the door because he’s the only one who uses the doorbell instead of knocking. You took a deep breath, not knowing what’s going to happen after you open the door, you were quite anxious. You opened the door and there he stood, looking unusually nervous.

“Hi Seungmin!” You greeted him happily, all your thoughts from earlier quieting down. “Hi y/n!” He smiled at you, but something seemed off, like he was shy? He didn’t act like the Seungmin you’re used to. Usually he barges into the house right after you open the door for him (he lost his key privileges a while ago), but now he waits for you to let him in.

“Come in Seung!” You told him and gestured with your hand to come through the door. He gave you a rather awkward hug, it wasn’t a full engulfing hug, but not a side hug either…then happened the most non-seungmin thing he has ever done. Seungmin took off his shoes then did a 90-degree bow to you, but not just for a moment, no he stayed there until you talked to him.

“Seungmin, what are you doing??” He kept the bow as he talked to you. “Y/nah im soo deeply sorry for yesterday night…i was drinking irresponsibly and-.” He stopped for a moment and stood up normally, not bowing anymore. “-I like you a lot and this is not how i wanted to confess to you, but I created this situation for myself…if you don't like me that’s totally okay and I don’t expect you to fall into my arms. I just wanted to come over so i can apologise for this whole mess.” He finished talking and looked down, so he won't have to look you in the eyes.

To say you were shocked would be an understatement, you didn’t even think of this outcome as an option. You were frozen in place and only snapped out when you heard Seungmin sigh and turn around to go to the door. You wordlessly ran after him, stood in front of him for half a second then hugged him so tightly that it was hard for him to move. You buried your face into his chest not wanting him to disappear.

“Kim Seungmin, I like you so much you can’t imagine. Please don't go anywhere.” You tell him and at that he puts his arms around you just as tightly as you hold him.“I won’t leave y/nah don’t worry. And I'm so happy that you like me back.” He said and kissed the top of your head.

You were lucky you had your face was covered because if he saw how red your face was he’d tease you forever. But it didn’t really matter because Seungmin was yours now.

A/N: I don’t care of i sound desperate, but i really want you guys to request because i don’t have much ideas(literally like zero) but i love writing!! So please even if you have a small idea or just a thought or a big idea please write it to me in the requests!! Here’s my guide how to request so no-one will be sad that I didn’t do theirs for some reason!&lt;3 I’m sorry again and I hope this one brings some smiles to you and thank you for reading my work!!Please take care of yourselves and be safe!❤️‍🩹

taglist: @justwonder113 (if you want to be on it either comment or write in requests please<;3)

[darlingshane]

Salt of the Earth ~ Part 2

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC

Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.

Content/Warnings: 18+. Explicit, Friends to lovers, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Smut, HJ, Fingering, P in V, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Addiction, Alcohol, Hangover, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy, Undisclosed age gap.

Word Count: 7.5k // Chapters 5-7 // AO3 Link.

— Part 1 (Chapters 1-4)

Chapter 5: Eat Humble Pie

One more mistake turns into a lesson learned for Maya.

She climbs into her car before breaking in front of him and drives back home after the party to dwell in her misery.

It was silly of her to make herself available for someone who doesn't take her seriously half of the time. She should have seen it earlier that he's just an asshole, but being blindsided by guys like him is one of her many flaws.

Against her better judgment, she put herself out there for the first time in a long time. He knew that was a huge step for her, and he just had the nerve to dismiss her feelings.

She's not the one to play games with. If Michael can admit that there's something between them, then she's not going to invest more time on this or push for something he doesn't want. Maybe she’s being a little arrogant, it wouldn't be the first time someone told her that, but this wasn’t a one-sided thing. He’s been definitely reeling her in just as much. She felt that every morning she went into the beef before work, every time they went out for drinks, every time he came over, every call, every text… He initiated a lot of those. Who does he think he is to make her feel like she's crazy? Like she made that up in her head? It could be possible, she tries to internalize. Perhaps she latched onto Michael so desperately because he was the only person that made her feel welcomed. It was strange for a long time being back in Chicago and being with him felt like being home.

Her mind jumps back and forth, trying to find a logical explanation. She doesn't find any, but she's sure he has his reasons.

Trying to forget all that and more, it’s not easy.

A week after his birthday, there’s still a part of her that keeps holding onto all those moments and memories they’ve made together. From painting her room, to the day she took care of him when he got his wisdom teeth removed. To all the many nicknames he gave her. And that time, he dog-sat for Coco when Maya went out of town for a couple of days. He’d just sent pics and videos of them playing, so she wouldn’t worry. It’s still fresh in her memory the day he invited her to his Sunday Braciole tradition. They weren’t as frequent as they used to be since Carmy left, but at least two Sundays a month they got together to cook and eat, and just have a good time with friends and family. For the past two months, she never missed one of those Sundays, but it was a hard pass this week. She got a text from Natalie asking if she was okay, that they missed her and Coco, but she was far from okay. Maya just replied with some bullshit about coming down with something.

Many times she’s found herself wanting to pick up the phone and call him as she used to. She willingly had to fight that need every day until it disappeared.

One evening, when she comes home after work, pulling up on the driveway, she spots Michael sitting on her front stoop, having a smoke under the light of the porch. It’s dark and cold and the last thing she wants to do right now is face him, but there’s no way around it.

“Hey,” She mutters, walking up to the door as he puts out his cigarette and stands up.

“Hey, can we talk?” His breath manifests in the air, as he exhales that last puff he took.

“Depends on what you have to say,” Maya crosses her arms against her chest.

“Just wanted to say I’m sorry for being an asshole the other night. I never got to say thank you for the party. That was really nice of you.”

“That's fine, Michael. I'm over it. I got the message,” she says dryly.

“This isn't as easy as you think it is.”

“I think it is. Either you want me or you don't. But you can't string someone along for months, and then make them feel like shit for wanting something more. It's fucked up.”

“Yeah, I agree it's fucked up. I'm… fucked up.”

“I'd say.”

“Hey, you're no picnic either, sweetheart.”

“You're right, I'm not. But at least I'm honest about it. I admit that I can be a little intense and inconsiderate, but I don't try to hide it. You on the other hand hide behind layers and layers of fake smiles and charms and bullshit stories, cause if people were to look closer, they'd see the real Michael. The one that I see.”

“You're also unbelievably obnoxious, did you know that? You don't know shit about me.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Have you even considered my part in all this, huh? You're Carmy's best friend. I knew you as a kid. How am I supposed to look him in the eye when he comes back in a few weeks and say – hey, by the way, I've been seeing Maya… Your Maya. What do you think he’s going to say? He's gonna hate the both of us.”

It's good to know he's considered all those things that didn't cross her mind. Yes, it'd hurt her to know that Carmy could potentially be affected by this. She wouldn't want that either, but no matter what, someone is getting hurt here.

“Well, I haven't thought about it that way, but I was never his to begin with. I’m my own person. I get to decide who I want. Not you, not him, not anyone. And even if something happened between you and me, it’s not like I’d rub it on his face.”

“Maya… You don't understand. You were everything to him.”

“Were. You’ve just said it. It's been a long time since high school, do you really believe that he's still hung up on me?”

“What if he is? What if you two were meant to be together?”

“Saying that out loud over and over won't make it come true. This isn't a fairy tale. And you should know that I haven't really talked to him, not one real conversation, since last year. Last time I heard from him was a text telling me he got the job at Noma. I said hey, congratulations, I'm proud of you… And he never spoke to me again. Told him I was moving back here, and crickets. And you know what? I still love him cause he's Carmy, but I'm not in love with him. I wish it was that easy. It'd be great if people could fall in love with the person they were supposed to be with. But it doesn't work that way, Michael.”

“Look, I know it's hard to understand, but I'm not the right guy for you. I'll never be. I thought we could be friends, but I can tell that's not enough for you, is it?”

“No, it isn't. If you feel that way, you should just go. It’s cold. I’m tired. And I should…” Defeated, she vaguely gestures at the front door before climbing the porch's steps.

“It hurts for me too, you know?” He mumbles as she unlocks the door.

“How’s that my problem?” She scoffs, incredulous at the gall he has of driving up there just to cause her more grief, and guilt-trip her. At least that is how it seems right now to her. “You’re the one that is too scared to feel anything real. I told you how I feel. I kissed you, for Christ’s sake! Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”

“Maybe if you had stayed away from me, this would have never happened.”

“Are fucking serious right now?” she glances over her shoulder, letting her blood instantly come to a boiling point. “You gonna put this on me? This is just as much of your fault as it is mine. You knew that I was having a hard time adjusting, that I missed my friends, that I couldn't even turn to my family, and you took advantage of that. Go fuck yourself, Michael! Take your damn pills and go get high like you do every night to forget you're a fucking loser!”

Maya doesn't give him a chance to respond. She slams the door shut, turns on the light, and closes her eyes for a second as Coco comes out of her room to welcome her. The dog whines, happily wagging her tail, circling around Maya's boots.

Leaning down to pet her dog, she places her bag down on the floor. Coco lowers her ears as Maya holds her head and scratches her head.

“I'm so sorry I yelled, baby. C’mere,” she hugs her neck tight, taking some extra comfort from her pup cuddles and kisses for a moment until they both hear a shy knock on the door.

Hoping he’d just leave, she closes her eyes again and ignores it.

It’s worthless.

He knocks twice again.

And again.

“Maya? Open the door… Please. I’m… I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m a fucking loser. Let me try again… Please, I didn’t mean…”

“What do you say, should we open?” She asks Coco as she tilts her head to the door.

“Maybird. Mayhem. Can you hear me? Maya Papaya?”

It’s crazy to even consider going for round two, but she’s like a moth to a flame, unable to escape the appeal of that alluring heat.

Drawing a fortifying breath, she stands up and hesitantly unlocks the door.

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that.”

“I'm a lost cause. Can I come in?”

“Are you going to behave?”

“I promise.”

She lets him set foot inside to be warmly welcomed by Coco hoisting her front paws up to his chest, wagging her tail, sticking her head out to lick his face.

“Hey, Coco girl. Have you missed me?” He pets her fondly.

“Coco, get down. He doesn't deserve kisses right now,” Maya sighs, gesturing at the dog, and she begrudgingly obeys, getting down and finding her bed in the corner of the living room. “Okay, say what you gotta say? You have one minute.”

“That's not a lot.”

“You're wasting time.”

“Straight up. Alright… I came here to apologize, and I blew it cause you're right I'm a loser. I uh… I thought that by pushing you away was doing you a favor, but I can see now that's not how it works.”

“No, it doesn't,” Maya says firmly.

“Truth is that I don't know what I’m doing… I thought that if I came here and gave you some closure, we could just move on. But I'm looking at you right now, and I don't think I'll be able to do that. It'll be pretty hard to forget about you after everything…”

“Stop trying to sabotage yourself. Live a little. Isn't that what you told me that day when you helped me unpack? Why don't you take that advice for yourself?”

“Because I'm a piece of shit and I don't deserve you.”

“That's not true.”

“It is. You said outside… For the longest time I've been pretending to be something I'm not, that I'm not sure who I am anymore. I thought you fell for that version of me that isn't real. But you didn't, you saw through all my bullshit, and you fell for me anyway… Why?”

“Why? Because I'm probably out of my mind.” She can't help but scoff a little. “I keep falling for all the wrong guys. But believe it or not, you're not the worst I’ve dealt with, Michael. You're not perfect. Nobody is. You say you’re pretending you’re something you’re not… that must be exhausting. I can see it's catching up with you already…”

“It is exhausting.”

“So stop doing that.”

“It's not that simple. I'm not you.”

“The best things in life are hardly simple, hon. It'll hurt like a motherfucker to undo all the damage, but once you make it to the other side, it'll be worth it. I've been there. I’m not perfect, either.”

“I think you're pretty perfect to be honest.”

“I've done plenty of shit that says otherwise.”

“Yeah, but you admit it. You're not afraid of putting it out there, even if people don't like it. That takes guts.”

“Well, I've realized that you can't please everyone all the time.”

“You should have been a shrink, you know that?”

“No, I'm not very patient with people. That's why I work with animals, remember?”

“You've been with me. It's been over a minute, and you haven't thrown me out yet.”

“Cause I'm a sucker. And beyond all reason, I believe everything you've just said.”

“So, what do we do now?”

“You're asking me?”

“Yeah, you're the one with all the insight.”

“Whatever happens now it's up to you, Michael. I’ve already forgiven you. You say you don’t wanna be with me but refuse to leave, and come in here for an encore. What did you expect from me?”

“I guess I keep hoping you’d change your mind about me. It’d be easier to leave if you hated me.”

“Do you want me to lie to you and say that I despise you?”

“No, unless you do.”

“Well, prepare to stay here all night, cause as much as I want to, I'd never hate you. So, it's just a matter of, do you wanna stay or go?”

He takes a deep breath and surrenders, “I… I think I wanna stay. If that’s okay.”

“That’s okay,” she exhales softly, echoing his words.

Neither of them are sure how to go on from there.

They’ve said so much, and yet there is still so much left unsaid. But the fact that he’s stopped letting that inner turmoil of shame and guilt keep him from her is a big step in the right direction. It grounds him, and gives him some peace of mind knowing that she’s looked him in the eye, and said — yes, I know everything about you, and I still want you.

Maya accepts who he is with an open heart, mind, and arms. She doesn’t seem fazed by it because she’s the most powerful force he’s ever encountered. He’s finally willing to give into what was meant to happen all along. He's tired of fighting himself. And if someone like her can find something redeeming about him, maybe he can try to be better for her.

“Can I…” hesitant, he takes a step closer. “Can I kiss you?”

“Only if you want to.”

“I wanna,” he barely mumbles below the sound of a breath. “I shouldn't have pulled away the other night. I understand if you-”

“Shh, just kiss me,” Maya's cuts him out. “Don't overthink it, Berzatto.”

“Okay.”

Drawing a shy smile, his head leans forward, as one of his hands cup her jaw.

“God, forgive me. You're so beautiful, Maybird,” he utters an inch away from her lips before sealing them shut.

This time, he closes his eyes, quiets the voices in his head, the ones that tell him he doesn't deserve her. In between the cracks of the walls he's put up, something else emerges. The relentless desire that comes with the same force of a waterfall. He lets it take the wheel as he savors the thrill that are her plump lips. Tenderly she kisses him back. Links her hands to his neck, begging him to keep kissing her, to consume her, to take her last breath. And he does. He delves deeper. Sends his tongue to soothe that aching that made a home in his chest. He's never felt his heart beat louder than now. It's like he's been dead for years, and she's bringing him alive kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss…

Chapter 6: Life is a bowl of cherries

Like most things in his life, Michael has a tendency to sabotage his relationships right before things start to get serious. He never follows through, a lot of people would agree. Perhaps, it isn't as much of a tendency but a result from his dependency to something else entirely.

The commitment to his work, the pressure to provide for his family has driven him to a very dangerous path. It’s never been more clear as it is now. His eyes are wide open. Forcefully. And for the first time ever, he’s willing to admit he has a problem that he can’t solve on his own.

It’s way past time to face the music, and he’s scared shitless to put that into words. Once the truth comes out, everyone will know how much of a failure he is.

He and Maya still haven't tackled that issue. She's not oblivious to it. She's the first one who saw that something wasn't right. She called him out on it and felt like a dagger laced in shame poked into his heart. Like most addicts, he never thought anyone would notice, he believed he was going so careful. But Maya Silva is not just anyone. She's insightful as she is sharp. She could spot his bullshit from miles away if she wanted to.

Having someone putting that into words was probably one of the hardest truths he had to hear about himself. He didn't realize it was getting out of hand until she verbalized that. They didn't touch it beyond that. While she's not a stranger to challenges, this is out of her depth. As much as it is for him.

While he got rid of a handful of demons, there are still hundreds that haunt him. They make all his fears come true the day after their kiss…

In an attempt to make a better man out of himself for her by breaking the habit, he tries to go just one day without the comfort of reaching to his hidden stash. He manages to go a few hours in the morning without it, but eventually, it becomes harder to go through the day to stay sober. He takes a lower dose, which is an achievement on its own, but it only shows how much he was relying on that.

Michael desperately wants to follow through for once, and makes the executive decision of not using while he’s with her. He’s aware that trading one addiction for another is not the best way to deal with it, but when they're together, it's easy to forget and ignore all those demons making noise in his head. It's when he's alone that he feels that devious hand trying to pull him into the dark well of desperation that his name carved on the walls.

At this moment, there's another different hand, a cold one, holding his own as they walk between rows of Christmas trees while Maya surveys each of them to choose one to bring home.

It’s the first week of December. They’ve easily slipped back to hanging out as much as they used to. And officially, they’ve been out a handful of times since that night he showed up at her door. They've been talking a lot and taking it slow, which feels nice for a change. Sometimes he wishes he could rush through all this part to see what the future holds for them. Thinking about the future in general has always been scary. However, thinking about a future with her gives him just a sliver of hope that things will get better.

Lacing his fingers with hers, he captures the glimpse of a smile as she keeps hauling his ass deeper into the tree farm. They had driven here, an hour out of the city, so she could cut her own tree, cause she read it was better for the environment. There’s no more fight left in him to chase away this overwhelming warmth, and new kind of love that envelops him. If she’d ask him to fly up to Mars, he’d do it.

His other hand is occupied by the end of Coco's leash that walks by his other side. The dog stops as Maya comes to halt to point at the chosen tree.

“This one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. This one will fit perfectly in the living room without taking too much space.”

“Alright. Let’s haul it out.”

With the help of a saw they carefully cut the trunk at the base and then, aided by one of the farmers, then sleeve it in a net and load it into the truck.

It's a nice drive with his two favorite girls. Coco sits between Maya's feet and props her head on her thigh while she's pampered with lots of caresses and ear scratches. The dog quickly falls asleep like a baby and doesn't open her eyes until the truck has pulled up on the driveway.

They bring Coco inside, unload the tree, and put it on the stand. As Michael busies himself whipping out something for dinner, Maya brings the decorations she bought earlier and starts hanging them on the tree.

It's a pretty damn picture of the two of them, sitting on the couch, sharing food in front of the fire. He wishes he could frame that moment when she glances at him with that vivid glint in her eye that makes his heart melt.

Maya climbs onto his lap after putting the dishes away. Sitting sideways, her head pillows his shoulder, while his arm curls around her waist. One of her hands holds his bearded jaw, having her fingers softly petting his hairs.

“Thanks for helping me today,” she utters, enjoying his embrace and the cozy decorated room.

“Anytime, Maybird,” his palm slides over her legging-covered thigh.

Maya lifts her head and presses her curved lips sweetly on his cheek.

“We should go on a drive sometime again. It was nice.”

“Yeah, it was. Maybe for New Year's.”

“It's a date,” Michael squeezes her knee as her head leans to the side to capture his eyes.

Maya throws one of those disarming smiles that drives completely out of his mind. He holds the back of her head and seizes the temptation of her lips he’s come to know so well in a matter of days. He revels in the way their mouths fit together like two puzzle pieces.

They lose track of time while their tongues swirl slowly to the same cadence, savoring every second of it as if it was the last. Their arms are loosely locked around the other when Maya swifts her position to straddle his thighs instead. Her body dangerously rezones, sitting over his crotch. His adventurous hands travel to her ass, while the lock of their lips remains strong. He can’t help but pull her hips flush against his as the kiss heats up.

They've never gone further than second base until this point. Though they agreed not to rush into anything, tonight might be the day. He wants to. And so does she. But there's still that part of him that's holding him back from crossing that line with her. Maya's special. He's known her for so long, he wouldn't forgive himself from ever hurting her.

“I thought we were taking it slow.” At the most inconvenient moment, he breaks the kiss and takes his hands away from her when his body demands more of her.

“We’re making out… slowly.”

“Not anymore.”

“Do you have a problem with that?” A sly grin flashes across her face as one of her eyebrows arch.

“Don't look at me like that, Maybird.” He throws his head back on the edge of the couch.

“Like what? I’m not doing anything,” she laughs and leans her face closer to his. “Is it that bad to want you? Don’t you want me?”

“Of course I want you, sweetheart.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that doing this with you feels pretty fucking weird.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew you as a kid. You were practically a baby when we met.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said, Bear. First, stop thinking about me as a kid. That's creepy. Second, you aren't much older than me, Mister. And third, do I look like a fucking baby to you now? Or… Do I look like a babe?”

“A babe. Definitely a babe,” he emphasizes, lifting his head and running his tongue across his lips, letting his eyes roam the beautiful curves of her body hugged in a tight t-shirt and a pair of leggings.

“So treat me like a babe. Fuck going slow. Kiss me like you mean it, goddammit! Stake your claim. Grab me. Touch me like the world is about to end and the last thing you wanna do is spend your last dying moments with me.” She demands so passionately, it sends a chill through his body.

He swallows, as his eyes become glossy in lust. Michael grabs her chin to keep her face still. Chasing that desire, he ravages her mouth like he’s never done before. Drinking her in, letting his tongue run wild as his hands go down to grip at the curve of her hips. He unabashedly handles her body to press harder on him, over his growing bulge, that makes her moan into his mouth every time it hits the right spot.

Maya is beyond pleased to have him finally give in to that shared crave that only grows bigger by the second. He grows bigger even quicker once he’s jumped over that line.

Without breaking from his eager kiss, Maya stops moving on his lap and sends her hands to undo the fly of his jeans. Beneath the denim fabric, she can tell how his erection strains, begging to be released by the kindness of her hand. He groans a couple of curses into her mouth when she peels back his underwear.

Maya doesn’t have to look down to know how big he is. Her palm curves around his swollen cock. It fills up both her fists as she stacks one on top of the other. There’s some wetness already that she spreads down to the underside that helps her jerk him off nicely.

Michael loses momentarily his ability to breath and parts from her lips to draw some air. He captures her eyes that hold a darker shade as both of her fists tighten around him. After a moment, he glances at her diligent, handy work that might have him come earlier than he’d want to. Michael hasn’t been touched like this in a long time. At least not with someone he had a connection as deep as this.

“Does it feel good?” Asks Maya with a grin splitting her face, as she shifts on his thighs to straddle just one and rub herself against the toned muscles of his leg.

“So fucking good,” he says under his breath as his head falls back, clutching his fingers to her moving waist. “I… fuck… fuck me… Are you riding my leg?”

“Uh-huh. Do you want me to stop?”

“Hell no. That’s…” his breathing keeps faltering as she picks up the pace. “You getting all wet for me?”

“You have no idea, Bear,” she purrs over his lips.

All his blood flows down to fire consuming his center, letting him dangle from one lousy thread.

“Don't have to hold it. It's okay if you wanna come.”

“It's just… I don't want you to think…”

“Shh. There's nothing to prove. Just close your eyes, and relax. Let me give this to you.”

Following her guidance, his mind clears completely as he closes his eyes and stops clenching every muscle of his body to let her bring him to ecstasy. His hips buck up a few times. And in just a few more pumps, his cock twitches in her hold before covering her hands in the warm spill of his orgasm.

Maya’s hips come to a halt. She tenderly kisses his exposed Adam's apple without letting go of his hardness that still throbs for a moment as the orgasm ebbs. Then she wipes her hands on her leggings while his mouth finds hers. He presses a couple of soft kisses at the corner of her mouth as his breathing recovers.

Michael cradles the back of her head and pulls it down to his shoulder. He plays with her hair, while she listens to his heartbeat as it evens.

“I’m gonna make it up to you,” he says under a breath.

“You don’t gotta.”

“I wanna. Just need a sec.”

“Okay.” She smiles to herself, hugging his chest as he descends from his high.

Once his strength returns, he’s seizing her lips again at a gentle pace. His tongue swims in that endless well of affection she offers freely.

When he's ready, he picks Maya up and carries her to the bedroom to finish what she's started. Clothes are quickly discarded in the dim lit room they both painted together. When he frees her from her leggings and underwear, she's still wet.

He's dumbstruck by the beauty of all her, all bare just for him, laying as the most precious offering.

Smiling bashfully, he props one elbow on the bed, and lies by her side. His fingers gently slide across the surface of her inner thigh. Her skin forms goosebumps beneath his palm as they ascend closer to her groin.

Aiming for that sweet spot between her legs, he locks eyes with her and watches her expression as they land on her folds. Drawing a breath, her chest swells as he tenderly craws circles around her clit. The arousal wrapping around his fingers and the sighted moans he coaxes out of her mouth makes his cock harden again.

“A little harder,” she demands between pants, placing her hand on top of his to show him exactly how hard he can go.

“Like that?”

Maya nods and then holds his bearded jaw with both hands, pulling his face closer to capture his mouth, while his fingers move quicker. She jolts at the sensation of two of them suddenly slipping into her opening. He keeps his thumb steady massaging her clit at the same time. The delicious mixture of movement makes her core thread in a tight knot of pleasure that begs to be untied.

“Michael, baby… I'm almost…” His name has never sounded as good as the way she cries to it the closer she gets to the edge.

“I know, sweetheart. Come for me, beautiful.”

His fingers slip in and out gradually faster until her body is left shuddering by the final impact of that sweet orgasm. The soft fabric of her skin buzzes beneath his palm as she rides that wave of pleasure that takes her to a higher plane. All her muscles seize up for a split second, and then her body becomes jelly.

Inhaling a long breath, Maya turns to the side and curls against him, hugging his torso.

They stay in comfortable silence for a long moment, enjoying the calmness of being wrapped around the other.

Maya kisses his neck softly while his fingers run up and down her spine.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you are like this?” He whispers.

“Yeah, I think you did,” her head tilts up to look at him.

One of his fingers draws her jaw, “I mean, you’ve always been stunning, but I’ve never seen you glow like this. It's like staring into the sun.”

“You're so fucking corny.” She smiles shyly before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “You look different, too. More relaxed.”

“The power of orgasm.”

“That must be it. When was the last time you had sex?” She blurts out, and regrets immediately after seeing his eyes slightly widen. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Sweetheart, you can ask me anything now. I mean, we’re both fucking naked. It can’t get more intimate than this.”

“That’s true.”

“To answer your question… the last time I had sex was a few months ago. It wasn’t anything serious. There was this girl in my building, we used to hang out sometimes. And then… then there was you, and I couldn’t…” he doesn’t have to finish for her to grasp the concept that he couldn’t be with anyone else but her.

“Well… If you’re up for it, we could go all the way.”

“I suppose we could. We’ve come this far… Why stop now, right? It’s the end of the world, after all.”

“Right,” she laughs, pressing her lips to his shoulder.

Feeling more energized, she guides him to lay on his back, stretches his arms above his head while she mounts his hips. Leaning over, she nibbles his bottom lip as her ass rotates over his dick, getting it to become hard-rock again with such little friction.

“Are you clean, you know, STI wise?” she mumbles over his mouth.

“That is the sexiest thing anyone has ever asked me.”

“So, are you?”

“I am. You?”

“Clean and safe, if you’re wondering. That’s sexy to me.”

“Bet it is,” he chuckles, grabbing her ass and pressing her harder against his building erection.

She moves like an enchantress, cursing every inch of his body with her charms to use for her pleasure. He welcomes it. He’s never felt this excited in years, and that’s all she is. Her impulsivity, her passion, her vitality… It's the perfect cocktail. She adds all of her to it, doesn’t leave behind an ounce of anything. It’s all or nothing. That’s why he easily falls in love with her more every day. He wants to drink her all in, absorb every drop until she becomes part of him.

When she sinks onto his cock for the first time, he’s mesmerized by the way she looks at him with nothing but radiant warmth and lust. Her hands brace his chest, as she slowly takes him all the way down. It feels like his world spins on its axis as she experiments with her hips. First, waving gently, then when she’s used to being filled with him, she starts bouncing on top of him.

Nothing ever felt more right than having her like this. Her skin melts beneath his palms, and all he wants to do is explore every corner of her body. She throws her head back and moans at the air as her hips go back to rocking back and forth when they get tired.

Michael slings an arm around her waist, pulls her down against his chest, and gingerly swifts her body around to be on top. His thrusts suddenly come sharp and measured, hitting all the right spots within her tender walls, earning a few good cries mixed with his name. He holds one of her breasts in his palm, as he madly makes love to her. He feels her nails scratching roughly along his back as they both swim closer to the edge. There’s a force taking over his hips that pushes him to his limit as if it was a matter of life or death. It is. At this moment, nothing matters more than chasing that ultimate reward. He makes it his life mission. It consumes everything in the room, makes his whole body tremble in ecstasy as he ascends with her closer to that pinnacle.

He doesn’t stop until she’s left breathless with her body shaking underneath him. And this time, he can hold on for just one more second till she comes apart to let go and have all his seed spilled inside her.

This becomes their most memorable night to date. That room becomes their safe haven to explore and love each other in ways they haven’t done before. They disappear into a daze of sleeping, fucking, and repeat. It becomes primordial and sacred. He finds new ways to worship her body. She finds new ways to reach into his soul, carve herself deeper.

Chapter 7: That's the way the cookie crumbles

Michael is sitting on the couch, absentmindedly surfing between channels on Maya's TV when Coco sprints down the staircase, anxiously whining after hearing a string of loud popping sounds outside. The dog hops onto his lap with her tail between her legs. She lowers her head, tucking it beneath his arm, trying to make herself as small as possible. He glances out the window to see a few kids playing with novelty fireworks across the street.

“Are you scared of fireworks, Coco girl?” He pets her head softly. “Shh, It's okay, baby.”

Maya's out tonight with some of her coworkers she's made friends with, and he's decided to stay with Coco. She doesn't need babysitting, but he likes staying here. To be honest, he's been sleeping at Maya's most nights since they started having sex.

He soothes the dog with lots of cuddles and a couple of treats until the kids go back home and the big scaredy-cat pit bull finally stops trembling.

They both doze off for a while, and he's awakened by the ringtone of his phone when Maya calls him to ask to be picked up. She said she had a few drinks and didn't want to drive. So, he takes Coco with him and drives to a bar that is only a few blocks away from his own apartment.

Maya is more wasted than she sounded on the phone. Her friends are only halfway there. He makes sure that all her friends have someone to give them a ride before taking Maya home. Instead of driving back to Oak Park, he decides to take her to his apartment.

It concerns him to see her in this state. She barely mumbles a word, but he can clearly see that there's something going on that she can't bring herself to say. Michael shouldn't judge. God knows how many times he's drowned his sorrows in a bottle, but this doesn't seem like her at all. She was so excited earlier to go out and now there's nothing but sadness plastered all over her face.

Upon their arrival, she vomits everything she had drank earlier and some more. Michael holds her hair and soothes her back while she leans over the toilet until there's nothing more left in her. He dutifully takes care of Maya and brings her some juice to settle her stomach after getting her to lay down on his bed.

In the morning, he quietly slips out of bed, takes Coco out on a walk and feeds her before Maya even wakes up. By the time they return, Maya is already up. She's taken a shower, and now she's just sitting on the couch, wearing one of his shirts, sulking and eating some crackers she found in the kitchen cabinets.

“Morning, sweetheart.” He kisses the top of her head while Coco goes around the couch, wagging her tail, demanding some attention.

“Hey,” Maya greets back, glancing at him while holding the dog's face and kissing her nose. “Was she good last night?”

“Yeah, she's the best.” Michael sits down on the coffee table and pats the dog's spine as she lays down on the floor. “Did you know she's scared of fireworks?”

“Yeah, she's not a fan.”

Maya tucks a knee to her chest, catching Michael's vexed look that creases his brow as he props his elbows on his knees and tensely links his fingers together.

“What?” She asks dryly.

“I didn't say anything.”

“There's clearly something in your mind. I can tell.”

“Of course you do.”

“C'mon. Out with it, Berzatto. What is it?”

“Nothing. I just… I'm worried about you. You didn't seem like yourself last night.”

“Bear, you don’t have to worry about me. I just took a few more shots than I should have.” She shrugs it off with little importance. “But I'm fine… Well, you know, besides the killing headache and the hangover. I shouldn’t have drank that much.”

“Then, why did you?”

“I don't know… Why does anyone drink at all?” She annoyingly deflects.

“You seemed okay when you called. But when I picked you up… You could barely stand.”

“Look, I'm sorry that I called you. I'll think twice next time.”

“It's not that, sweetheart. I loved that you called… I'm just trying to understand what happened.”

“People drink. Big deal. I went out with some friends and had fun. That's it. Why are you grilling me about this? It's a little hypocritical coming from you, don't you think?”

“I'm not grilling you. I'm trying to figure out what happened. It’s obvious you're trying to hide something.”

“Yeah? Tell that to your stash drawer. You wanna lecture me about drinking? Start explaining why you need that many pills.”

“You went through my drawers?”

“I was looking for a shirt.”

“You know what? It doesn't matter, cause we're not talking about me right now.”

“How convenient. You're the one that has a real problem. I was upset last night and I got wasted. The end. I'm not going to drink tonight or tomorrow or the day after that, and probably it won't happen again, cause I know my limits. Do you know yours?” She jabs sharply, meaner than he's ever heard her.

Michael hangs his head down, shame washing all over him, stares at the floor for a long moment before answering.

“I wasn't trying to start a fight or lecture you. I just wanted to know if there was something bothering you– I guess it was just a matter of time before you found… You're right… I'm… I have a problem. But I don't use when I'm with you… I…”

Maya stands up and faces the window. Looking outside, she comes to realize how tactless that was on her part. Tears slip out of the corner of her eye. She never wanted to confront Michael like this. Let alone let her own insecurities get the best of her.

“I'm sorry. I didn’t mean…” She wipes her tears, and picks up the phone from the table.

She unlocks it and presses play and speaker for him to listen to a voice message she received yesterday. In it, the voice of her sister suggests that Maya should consider not attending Christmas dinner to avoid upsetting their mother like the year before. The message goes on about their-sister-in-law being pregnant, about to give birth around the holidays, and that she doesn’t need that added stress to that night, since they’re the ones hosting this year somewhere in bumfuck, Utah. She babbles for a while about how Maya has made her situation even worse for herself when she decided to move back to Chicago and hide it for months; along with a string of excuses that she's heard many times before.

They've always been subtle with their dismissal, saying it was fine if she had other plans. But that call is the first time they've openly asked her to refrain from attending a family function.

“I got it during dinner and I just… I don’t know, it’s like a switch flipped in my head, and I started throwing back shots to forget… I wasn’t trying to hide it. I just didn’t want to talk about it or think about it right now.” She explains, placing the phone, and then paces the length of the living room a couple of times.

“I get it,” Michael sighs and stands up, running his palm over his beard, putting a stop to her feet.

“I’m sorry that I went through your stuff and that I used that against you… I shouldn’t have. That was a low blow.”

“Guess we're both kinda messed up. I wasn't trying to hide it, either. You already know that I'm fucked up. It's just… We've been in this bubble and I wanted to enjoy that for a little longer before having to deal with all that, y'know?”

“I know,” her hand gently cups his bearded jaw. “When you're ready to talk about it… I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Bubble or not. I… I've never been happier with anyone, Michael. It might be incredibly naive and idealistic of me to say this, but I feel like if we're honest with each other, there's nothing we can't face.”

“I feel that too, Maybird.”

Michael holds that same hand that's placed over his beard and prints a soft kiss on her palm, tickling her skin.

Then, he releases it and perches his hands on her waist as Maya links her arms around his neck.

“What are you going to do with the whole don't come home for Christmas thing?”

“I don't know. Part of me just wanna show up and ruin their night. But I know if I stay, they'll see that they're just as miserable with or without me. They just need someone to blame for their misfortunes, and I’m it.”

“Hey, maybe you could come have dinner with us like you used to.”

“Christmas at the Berzattos? I'm not sure which one is worse.”

“C'mon, they both suck. It's our first Holiday since we started this, it'd be nice to spend it together, don't you think?”

“I guess… I could think about it.”

[smoochhyuka]

Munch!Kai tasting heaven for the first time

He could not believe you would doubt yourself so much, especially since all he thinks about at night are your soft thighs wrapped around his head.

○o。content warnings! nsfw, soft dom!Hyuka, perv!hyuka, fem!reader, cunnilingus, breastplay, mention of asphyxiation at the end, he is head over heels for you, a little angsty at the start but nothing too heavy and it gets resolved quickly (mention of dieting, calories, weight loss and body image issues), implied to be chubby (you can read as plus-size or in a 'not-fitting-kbs' way), tummy lover hyuka, kinda long build-up this is purely self indulgent ToT

It has been raining the whole day and has only gotten worse throughout the evening. Since you live at the very top of your apartment complex, the thick droplets can not only be heard from the windows but also from the ceiling, creating a calming brown noise effect which you are using to your advantage. Today was a free day for you and your boyfriend was able to wrap up practice a lot earlier than expected and paying you a surprise visit. You lit up all the candles you own, used the coziest pillows and blankets to cuddle up in and cranked up the heating. You decided to put on a cute pair of very short shorts in your favorite color, fluffy white socks and a thin white tank top without a bra, in hopes that Kai would at least react to your uncharacteristically revealing outfit. To your disappointment, he did not even glance down at your body.

Kai asked to be your boyfriend just after a couple of dates. Due to his busy schedule, meeting each other turned out to be difficult, causing you to mostly meet in the evening or at night, most of the time having sleepovers at your place. They are innocent, too innocent to your liking. You watch a movie, sit together and play games or just lie in bed and talk about anything. It is wonderful, of course, you have not met a man as attentive, caring, earnest and passionate as him. You know he loves you, he has told you accidentally and honestly a little prematurely on your first month anniversary date and has not stopped declaring his sincere feelings for you ever since, but you are a worried if your boyfriend is sexually interested in you. He breaks every kiss that turns hot, never allows his hands to wander below your hips or make any suggestive comments. You are unsure what the cause might be, and you are debating on whether you should ask, since it ultimately could just be too soon for him and you do not want to risk scaring him away by coming off too strong. But the mind does not always work rationally, you are searching the fault on you. Do you need to dress more sexy, since you both are usually in your lounge wear when you see each other? Are you not cute enough, because of your blunt sense of humor? Are you... not thin enough to his liking?

A bowl of popcorn and a pack of his favorite gummies are between you, which kind of stops you from cuddling up to him too much. Kai put on a random anime that he said you must see, snacking on the gummies. You try your best to hide your frustration, concentrating on the episode and trying to memorize the names of the characters. You do not notice him picking up a few pieces of popcorn until they are right in your face, "Ahhhh", Kai hums at you, gesturing you to eat said snack. You turn your head away, still not really looking at him, "thank you, but it doesn't fit into my calories, I had dinner already.", you reply. His playful smile falters, his brows furrow. Since you did not look away from the laptop, he pauses the anime, "What do you mean, 'calories'?". You look at him with big eyes, "I decided to go on a diet.", you state matter-of-fact. He is visibly upset, an angry pout on his face, confusion and worry in his eyes. Why would you go on a diet, do you not know how beautiful you are? He knows how easily it can spiral out of control, it hurts him to think that you would find a diet necessary. "Why would you?", he asks rather harshly, having a hard time hiding his disapproval. You are rather taken aback, since you did not think he would react this way. You figured he would not really react at all. It is not only common for idols to diet regularly but also for normal citizens to pick up that habit, you were absolutely not prepared to see him this agitated. As you are unsure on what to rebuttal, Kai speaks up again, "Of course you are free to do what you want, but I want you to know that I disagree. I want you to be happy and healthy, eating good food." There is a lot more he would want to say to you, but ultimately he thinks it is not his place to tell you what to do, especially not so early in the relationship, "You should also know that you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen.", he whispers before turning the anime back on, not without stealing a glance at your sweet body, which you took notice of. For a while, you sit quietly next to one another, no one really paying attention to the screen, but being lost in their own thoughts. Kais quiet confession got your heart racing, he does compliment you more than enough, but they are never as intense as this one. Usually, he calls you cute or pretty between grins and giggles, he would shyly look away, sometimes poke your stomach to distract you from said comment. This time, he not only looked you in the eyes with a firm expression, even if it was just for a split second, you could see lust in his face after he dared to finally take a closer look at the outline of your nipples in the slightly see-through top, your small belly button, your lush thighs that you pressed together for a more comfortable position. You decide, it is time to adress your concerns.

"I thought you might prefer it if I lost a few kilos", you admit, the episode still running, your boyfriends body tensing up, "Kai, do you think I am sexy?" Even though you are an outspoken person, asking him this is quite embarrassing. Having said that out loud, you feel like a fool. He pauses, his hand hovering over the space button for a while, before leaning fully back and looking you in the eyes again with that intense stare. His eyes fall lower, you grow a little insecure under his gaze, trying to pull down you shorts a little, adjusting the straps of your top, making your tits jiggle deliciously. He hisses quietly upon seeing that, you almost did not notice. The tension thickens, "I...", your boyfriend starts, pausing again to think, "That is a very unexpected question, at least from my perspective." You furrow your brows, tilting your head to the side. You have a habit of blowing a little air in you cheeks and pouting when you do that, seeing that confused and innocent expression in addition to those little clothes that do not leave a lot to the imagination gets Kais brain all fuzzy. "I think about you every night.", he admits, "It has been so difficult not to initiate anything." He was able to surprise you again this evening, your mind goes blank. Have you actually been this wrong? Kai carefully takes the snacks and the laptop and puts them on the floor, he scoots over to you and wraps a long arm around your shoulders, whispering into your ear, "Don't tell me you put this on to seduce me. I have been trying so hard to be a gentleman for you." His voice sends shivers down your spine, you close your eyes, savoring the sensation of his hot breath in your ear. "Tell me, baby, is there something you want us to do tonight?" He is circling your shoulder with his index finger. With his long, slender index finger. You knew your boyfriend was more than the cute and innocent maknae fans know him as, you most definitely have seen his performances, but for him to have a dominant side like this is something you hoped for, but not necessarily required him to have. "Or do you just want to lay back and let me handle it? I probably should make it up to you, for making you worry like this.", he places a few hesitant kisses below your ear, you just now notice the small tremble in his hands, "You completely misunderstood, though." His voice exuding confidence, his body language telling a different story. His eyes are closed shut, he is practically hiding his blush in your neck. You have not really said anything, making his heart pound hard in his chest. He thought about this moment a lot, everytime being more erotic, more experimental, dirtier. He realizes your first time is not going to be a two hour long session of you both trying out your naughtiest fantasies, instead, it is going to be a lot more emotional than his wet dreams allowed. He is feeling a form of performance pressure that did not even cross his mind accidentally.

"A moment ago...", you whisper, pulling him out of his head, "you said you think about me every night. What is it that you think about?" You open your eyes, big eyes searching for his. He looks up timidly, you smile at his pink cheeks.

Bondage, toys, sensory play, wax play, shower sex, kitchen sex, lingerie, anal... what did he not think about? There is only one reoccurring theme in his wild imagination about you.

"I think about eating you out.", he answers bashfully, laughing awkwardly because of his bad habit to smile away his anxiety. Hearing him say that is sending a jolt right to your core, sinful images flash in front of your inner eyes. Your heart rate increases, unsure on how it could even beat any faster. Your boyfriend picks up on your rising body temperature, your glossy eyes and your breathing picking up. "I-", you stutter, "Please." You have lost your words. Your big and strong boyfriend has you in a tight grip and just admitted that he wants to eat you out in a way that is sexy and still uniquely cute to him, mentally you slip away, you brain is blank, you can only feel your skin tingling at every spot you are touching him. He leans forward and kisses you softly, his pink velvety lips feel like small pillows. Without breaking the kiss, he sits in front of you and presses you down into the pillows, a little bit more forceful than intended. His dick has been slightly erect since the moment he saw you this evening, but by now it has grown to his full size. You take notice of the bulge, reaching out, but Kai catches your hand and pins it above your head. He grins at you, "I am going to take off your top, is that okay?" You nod, profusely. He giggles at your eagerness, even when he is hovering above you, he manages to be sweet. His warm hands find your belly, he holds you by your waist and massages you with his thumbs. You whine, growing hot and bothered by his pace, making his cock twitch, he groans and leans forward to place some more kisses on your tummy. You squirm everytime his lips get lower to your heat, everytime you do he nibbles at the spot. He kisses a wet trail up your body, until he has reached the hem of your shirt. Fingers slipping underneath it and pulling it above your head, exposing your chest and your hardened nipples. For a brief moment Kai gets shy, seeing you this exposed is a sight that he has been dreaming so long of. His hands trail slowly back down to your mounds to cup them gently, but not without running them over your face and stopping just for a moment to caress your lips.

"You are so beautiful", he whispers, you tilt your head to the side to escape his gaze, slightly embarrassed. "I love you.", Kai starts grinning after your proclamation, leaning forward again but this time to catch your right bud between his lips, applying pressure to the other one with his thumb. You sigh at the feeling, the slight tingle that creeps through your entire body. Making sure not to apply too much of his body weight onto you, he delicately sucks and licks on your chest, only experimentally biting you a few times with his front teeth, which you seem to enjoy. He could listen to you small sighs, heavy breathing and occasional whines forever, but you both have other plans for this rainy evening.

Wet and passionate are the kisses that trail down to the hem of your shorts, his breathing heightening after every peck. His hands follow suit, as he is know toying with them, his fingers trembling slightly just like a moment ago. Trying to ease his nervosity, you lay one of your smaller hands on top of his, looking into his eyes. After one last, deep breath, he pulls down your shorts and underwear, exposing you fully to him. His cheeks turn into a sweet, deep red. "It is a little unfair", you start teasing him, breaking eye contact yet again, "that I am the only one naked right now." Kai laughs awkwardly as a response, short-circuiting, mumbling a small 'sorry' before shakily pulling his own tank above his head, exposing his flushed chest. The sight of your boyfriend, covered in blush, kneeling between your naked legs is a sight that you will not able to forget for quite some time. Despite his clear apprehensiveness, Kai is moving his position a lot further down the bed, making sure his head is right above your glistening pussy when he leans back down. The smell of your heat is hitting him before he can even realize how close he is to you, he would not necessarily know how to describe it, just that it is intensely erotic. You pull your knees closer to you chest, effectively spreading your lips further open and allowing him to now see your two holes.

Not knowing what to do with his arms, he uses the left one to support himself, and the other one to grabs you by your hip. He opts to start with a small peck next to your cunt, earning him another whine, before wetting his lips with his tongue and placing a kiss rather centrally on the sensitive nerves. His nose brushes your clit, "Kai.", you breath heavily. Now curious about you taste, he sticks out his tongue to trail upwards, just barely missing the sensitive bundle of nerves, which placement he did take notice of. Now circling it, applying a little bit more pressure, you start moaning for him. His head starts to feel dizzy, your smell, taste and voice occupying his senses. Trying to swallow more of your juices he starts sucking on your clit, getting you to cry out and press your thighs together around his head, restricting his breathing slightly. Kai could have never imagined how tranquilizing this whole experience could have been. Not being able to move his head a lot, he goes back to licking between your folds, slurping off the never-ending flow of juice that you produce. Your boyfriend is eager to find what works the best for you, trying out different patterns with his tongue and sucking on different nerves, taking note of every little noise that you make for him. He carefully sticks his tongue into your hole, and just through imagining his cock entering the textured and gummy walls, he can not help himself but to use his left hand to pull out his angry red dick and sloppily pumping it. You are too focused on the overwhelming pleasure you feel to notice, holding tightly onto the stuffed animal Kai has gave you on your first date. "I am so so close.", you exclaim, sounding slurred. "Come on my face baby.", he quickly rebuttals, barely lifting his mouth from your pussy to say it. Since you seemed to like it when he sucks on your clit, he does it again and you cry out loudly. It does not take long for that tight knot in your core to burst, you come violently, pressing down even harder on his head, cutting off most of his air, leaving him to only breath in your smell. That sensation getting him to cum just a few moments after you, while you still twitch, squirm and rub against his tongue trying to get down from the high. His thick, opaque cum covering your bedsheets and his hand, slow pumps to get out the last droplets. Both of your heartbeats start to normalize, you release your boyfriend from the headlock and let your legs hang. The sudden hit of air overwhelming him, but after a few breaths he is able to sit up straight, scoot forward again and plop down next to you.

You immediately turn over to him and swing your legs around his hips, rather harshly coming in contact with his --to your surprise-- flaccid and naked dick. He shrieks, you sit up in concern and cup his cheeks. "Sorry!", you blurt out, without necessarily understanding what just happened. His furrowed brows relax again, his pained expression turning into amusement. "It is just so sensitive after coming, that's all.", he tells you honestly, "I couldn't help myself". You start smirking, "I guess that answers my question from earlier.", you say, after seeing his hand that is still glistening from the white coat. He follows your eyes and immediately rolls out of bed, "I get that cleaned up and then we fall asleep cuddling." You just nod, watching him in awe, pulling up his pants back over his butt and disappearing in your bathroom.

[firefly-in-darkness]

Make It Right

Pairing → Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary → Bucky Barnes broke your heart, can he fix it? Can he make it right?

Word Count → 1.6k words

Warnings → angst, heartbreak, swearing.

Beta → none.

Prompts/Bingo Cards

AFG Square Fill → “I don’t want you to be with anyone else.” - @anyfandomgoesbingo

AF Angst Square Fill → smudged makeup - @anyfandomangstbingo

Writer's Note → well, this is a little angsty one that's been sat in my drafts for a while… hope you enjoy! ✨

“I hate you,” you slurred down the phone, “I wish I'd never met you!”

Bucky’s heart broke at your words but he couldn't do anything about them, he hated himself for the pain he was causing you. He realised long ago that you weren't just friends with benefits. A few weeks into the arrangement, all of the rules went straight out the window.

What was wrong with spending time together, going to the college football games, studying in the library until darkness had fallen or hiding out at house parties when it was too rowdy for either of you to handle?

How could he not let you stay over when you looked like an Angel sleeping in his arms? The post-sex glow, the warmth of your body and the so-familiar scent of peach and vanilla filled his head with fantasies of the casual relationship being so much more.

It was perfect, you were perfect.

Until your ex-boyfriend started making threats.

The corridor was empty and it was just typical that your snivelling ex-boyfriend, Brock Rumlow, decided to make an appearance. Bucky didn’t engage with him, just brushed straight past him. In an instant he was pinned against the wall, winded by the blow.

Brock’s grip on Bucky’s collar tightened, yanking him forward and back against the wall. He growled and snarled at Bucky to retaliate but he just smirked at him.

“Oh, you think this is funny do you?” Brock spit out, “Well, you won’t find it funny when I tell the Dean that you were the one that caused that fight with Alex."

Bucky paled at the thought of being used as a scapegoat, he’d already had a few run-ins with Alex Pierce for making derogatory comments about you. If the Dean heard of this, Bucky was certain he’d lose his scholarship.

“Oh and if you go near my girl again, I’ll make sure that she gets caught up in all that mess too,” Brock shoved him again, “I’m sure she’d love to know how much of a violent person you really are.”

Brock walked backwards, laughing as Bucky dropped to the floor.

The words of your ex-boyfriend had taken over his mind and fuelled Bucky’s actions. It was all to protect you, he couldn't care less what happened to him. He wasn’t going to let you suffer because things went too far.

It pained him to see Rumlow’s arm draped around your shoulders at the last Panthers game. His eyes stung as he watched you kiss in the depths of the library. It broke his heart when you tugged Rumlow into a bedroom at Grant’s frat party, the seductive smirk on your lips.

“Saw you with Yelena. I came by your dorm today,” Your voice cracked over the line, “she's pretty, smart and witty.”

Bucky's mind raced, you had come to visit him? What has Yelena got to do with this conversation? You answered for him.

“Just wanted to give you back your leather jacket.” You hiccuped then your tone changed, “She's more your type, better than me.”

“I'm not-” Bucky tried to interrupt you to no avail.

“I thought you loved me.”

He heard the signature sound of the call ending. Without a moment spared, Bucky shoved on his combat boots and grabbed the leather jacket that Steve had found on their doorstep earlier.

It smelt of you, it was intoxicating. It encouraged Bucky to do what he needed to do. To tell you everything. He couldn't let you think he didn't care, that he didn't love you. Fuck Rumlow.

Bucky raced to your dorm. He should have come to you first, told you what happened and come up with a plan to stop Rumlow’s threats from coming true. Now you were drunk and vulnerable. He stopped in his tracks, he didn't know where you were. Scrolling through his contacts, he called Wanda, fully expecting an earful from your best friend.

“Barnes?”

“Wan, where’s Angel? She called and sounds wasted.”

“Why should I tell you?” Wanda snapped.

“Please? I need to tell her the truth.”

“Oh shit.” The sound of the phone being dropped echoed in Bucky’s ears, the panic rushed through his veins.

Your voice, the person he was looking for could be heard at a distance, “tell him to ‘fuck off.’”

“I wanna go to bed now.” You whined, Bucky could imagine the pout and blurry eyes you were giving your friend.

He started to walk to your dorm in the hopes that you or Wanda would give away your location if you weren't at home.

“It's okay,” Wanda's soothing voice was louder, no doubt comforting you.

“Need blanky please.”

“I'll get it in a minute, let's get you cleaned up first.”

The mention of your childhood blanket kicked Bucky into gear. You were at home. He ran. his legs moved as fast as they could to get to the shared apartment.

He was a panting mess by the time he reached the building. No clue what he was going to say. The stairs were neverending, the physical pain pressuring his body to stop. It was nothing compared to the thought of losing you forever.

Bucky pounded on the door, attempting to catch his breath at the same time. His fist didn’t stop hitting until he almost fell through when it was opened by Wanda.

She shook her head, “this is not a good idea, she’s a mess.”

“I’ve got to make this right. I fucked up,” Bucky pleaded with her.

Wanda opened the door wider for Bucky to enter and he sighed in relief.

You were sat on the couch with the blanket wrapped tightly around you, but even with the comforter, he could see your frame had shrunken in on itself. Your head was resting on a cushion, eyes closed as the sobs wreaked havoc.

Bucky’s heart broke at the sight and rushed to your side, wiping your hair away from your face.

You pushed at him, “Go away, Wanda.”

“It’s me, it’s Bucky.”

Your eyes burst open and he felt your shoulders go rigid. The crying had been silenced but tears still streaked down your face along with the mascara and eyeliner you must have been wearing earlier.

“Why are you here?” Your voice cracked.

“I’m so sorry,” Bucky cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears, “I should have told you about Brock, and what happened with Alex. I couldn’t let you get hurt.”

Your eyebrows knitted together, “What are you talking about?”

“Brock said he’d get us both kicked out of college, you know it would only take one conversation with his stepdad.”

You listened intently with tears in your eyes.

“I got into a fight with Alex, over something stupid.”

Wanda interrupted, “It wasn’t stupid, he called your girl a slut. He deserved it and more.”

You winced, “You did that, for me?”

“Yes, and I’d do it again,” Bucky reassured her.

You couldn’t stop the hiccups but tried to speak, “Brock’s -hic- gone. He was transferred. Something about his dad -hic- getting a better job at a better school.”

Wanda passed you a glass of water, “I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

You lifted your legs to sit up straight. Bucky took the seat beside, afraid of what would come next. A scholarship-sized weight had been lifted but he still felt the pressure of you wanting to be with Brock, that you might not choose him after everything.

“I ended it. That’s why I came to see you, not just about the jacket,” You dipped your head.

Bucky’s index finger lifted your chin to look into your eyes and show you that he meant his words with all his heart and soul, “I want to be with you.”

“But what about Yelena?” Your gaze didn’t waiver, giving Bucky hope.

“We’re working on a project together, I am not interested in her like that.”

“I don’t want you to be with anyone else,” You whispered as if uncertain that you wanted him to hear.

“I was an idiot, I thought I could do this whole fuck buddies thing with you,” he shook his head, “I was wrong, I want to be your boyfriend, I want to show you how much you mean to me and tell anyone that will listen.”

“Are you sure?” You looked down, your hands anxiously twisted together.

Bucky took your hands in his. He was a fool, a fool in love with an amazing woman who thought he didn’t care.

“I love you, with all my heart.”

“I love you too.” You whispered.

Bucky felt like the pieces of a puzzle were falling into place. He should have known all along that this was where he was meant to be; with you.

“Can I kiss you now?” He asked, wanting to show you how much he loved and cared for you.

Bucky leant forward, giving you the power to make the decision. It might hurt his ego for a moment if you chose to pull away but he wouldn’t hold it against you. As he waited, he vowed to do whatever you wanted, whether that was to be your partner or friend. If you asked him to leave, and even though it would be hard, then he’d go.

“Well, are you going to kiss me or just stare at my lips?" You quipped, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts.

Bucky pressed his lips to yours, sealing his promise to be with you ‘til the end of the line.

~ Tag List ~

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[apomaro-mellow]

Family Planning 6

Part 5

Eddie arrived at the party when it was in full swing, music blaring, and teens inside and out. Kimberly was seatbelted on the passenger side.

“What do you say kiddo? Ready to party?”

Of course, she didn’t answer and not for the first time he wondered if he should draw a face on her. Even he felt just a tad ridiculous talking to an inanimate object. He steeled his nerves and got out, little Kimmy on his hip as he went inside. It wasn’t hard to find Steve. He only needed to follow the chants urging him to chug and sure enough there was a circle of jocks cheering him on.

Eddie didn’t actually see him until he came up, beer dripping from his lips as the crowd cheered him on like they did for the game. He looked completely in his element. One that Eddie didn’t really belong. He didn’t know anyone here. Not really. No one from his club would come within a hundred yards of this place. And without Steve at his side, he doubted these folks would be willingly courteous. So he kept on the move at first, walking around, trying to find a comfortable spot to lurk with a sack of flour.

One guy grabbed his shoulder and asked if he had any of his stuff. When Eddie told him no, he groaned and walked off, chugging the rest of whatever he was drinking. Eddie had his typical lunch box back in the van, but he didn’t feel like being the dealer tonight. Steve had invited him as a guest, he had assumed at least.

Steve never bought from him directly but Eddie knew he had partaken in his product. He was the only plug the high school had. What if that was all this was? Steve wanted him here for party favors? Probably for free because how could he make his project partner pay? Or his friends? God, was that guy going off to tell Steve?

He needed a drink and he knew better than to sip from a random cup or bowl, so he ventured into the kitchen for an unopened can. He grabbed one from the counter and was able to finish it before Steve stumbled in.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

“For me?”, Eddie pointed at himself.

“Yeah, I thought I saw you earlier but couldn’t find you. You’ve been here the whole time?”

Eddie shrugged. He adjusted Kimberly on his hip, drawing Steve’s eyes too it for the first time.

“You brought i..her?”

“Couldn’t get a babysitter on short notice”, Eddie teased.

He knew his joke landed when Steve shared a smile with him but the mood soured a little when guys from the team joined them, Hagan even coming to put an arm around Steve’s shoulders.

“Hey Munson, didn’t expect you to make it”, Tommy said.

“I had an invitation from his royal highness himself”, Eddie said with a half-bow to Steve.

“Dude’s so desperate to pass”, another player, Carl said, pointing at the sack of flour as he jeered.

“Hey, cut that shit out”, Steve said. “It’s my grade too. Believe it or not, some of us actually care about how we do in class.” He felt Tommy nudge him, like he was worried about Steve saying too much or the wrong thing, but he ignored him. Instead, choosing to move from under his arm and get closer to Eddie. “Why did you bring her anyway? Isn’t it like past her bedtime or something?”

“The family that celebrates together, stays together”, Eddie reasoned.

“Geez, if I’d known you were that needy for some alpha dick, I would’ve offered.” Carl grabbed his groin, making eyes at Steve. “Every princess needs a throne, right?”

“You watch your fucking mouth”, Eddie growled.

Carl’s smirk dropped at the actual challenge from an alpha and he muttered a half-apology before scuttling away. Steve purred in a way that no one had ever pulled from him before and he was glad for the loud music covering it. But Eddie might’ve heard it anyway from the dark gaze he was giving him. Someone bumped into Steve from behind, pushing him out of his trance but also bringing him closer to Eddie.

“Um”, he cleared his throat. “We should probably get our pup to bed, right? This isn’t really the scene for a kid.”

“Uh yeah”, Eddie said dumbly, allowing himself to be led out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He caught a great whiff of something coming off Steve and it was intoxicating. It was interest, with a twinge of arousal. He did that, he made him feel that. 

He was able to focus a little more once they got to Steve’s room and the door closed, muffling the sounds of the party. Eddie went right over to the bed and plopped down on the edge.

“Know any good lullabies?”, he grinned.

“Only the ones everyone knows”, Steve said, coming to sit next to him. “Do you think we’d actually be any good at this? Like with a real pup?”

Eddie shrugged. “My old man was a ne’er-do-well and my ma was a good for nothin’, God rest her soul. But my uncle did a decent job with this mound of clay”, he pointed to himself. “So I might not be such a bad dad.”

Steve smiled. “Not such a bad alpha either. You know, if I’m being honest.” His stomach fluttered as he thought about Eddie being at the game. Steve hadn’t even asked and he’d shown up. He grabbed the sack from his arms and pulled back the covers, tucking her in.

“Snug as a bug in a rug”, Eddie beamed.

“We should probably get back”, Steve said. “They’ll think we’re up to something if we take too long in here.”

“Do you really wanna go back to those guys?”, Eddie asked.

‘Those guys’ were still his teammates and friends. And celebrating a win was a good bonding experience. They’d fall in line, Steve would make sure of it. He grabbed Eddie’s hands and pulled him to his feet.

“I wanna show you a good time.”

------------------------

When Eddie opened his eyes, it was to the ceiling of Steve’s bedroom, the floor under his back and the sweet, content scent of omega on his chest. With a groan and a pounding headache, his eyes took some time to focus. There was a soft sigh at his chest and that was what it took for him to realize the weight on him was Steve. Flashes of the night before came to him.

A ton of drinking. Sip after sip. Steve had his side the whole time. 

They must’ve stumbled in here after the party wound down. Why they didn’t sleep on the bed was beyond him. Had they been that drunk? Steve shifted on top of him, swinging a leg over his own. Eddie could tell he was starting to awaken. Steve’s head tilted up and he smiled.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Very good. Except, why are we on the floor?” Steve groaned as he sat up and popped his back. 

“I was hoping you could shed some light on that.” Eddie already missed the weight of him, but sat up as well, rolling his neck and shoulders. 

Steve looked to his bed, only to see their flour baby, tucked in where they left her. He snickered at the picture she made. Guess they didn’t want to disturb their pup’s sleep. He stood up with a groan, imagining the mess left downstairs.

“Not looking forward to cleaning all that”, he said, stretching his back as he bent forward.

Doing so gave Eddie a prime view of his behind in those tight jeans he favored. “Good thing you don’t have to do it alone.”

“What?”

“What?”

Steve put his hands on his hips, looking down at Eddie still on the floor. “Dude, I’m not gonna make you waste a Saturday cleaning up party trash.”

“It’s not a waste. We can totally put it in our report that we handle domestic tasks together”, Eddie said, lifting off and getting only a little dizzy. He must’ve restrained himself towards the end. “And it’s not ‘dude’, it’s ‘alpha’ to you”, he teased, leaning into Steve’s space.

Steve hesitated just a second before meeting Eddie where he was. “Does that mean you’ll start calling me ‘mate’?”

Eddie’s response was to growl enticingly, closing the distance between them even more. He heard Steve pur, much the same way as last night and couldn’t help himself. 

“Mine”, he murmured.

Steve’s knees felt weak as he leaned against Eddie, scent his neck and shoulders. His eyes closed in bliss, almost missing the phone ringing downstairs. It was probably his parents, either telling him that they’d be back soon or extending their stay. Either way, he had to get the house in order before they came back.

“I can whip us up a hangover cure breakfast if you can get started on the living room?”

“Deal.”

Part 7

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