#I wanna hug him so tight yall dont understand

[sketchy-tour]

Anyway here have some sketches!

Mostly just me actually drawing this man with a ref instead of from memory to relearn him a lil

[a-very-tired-raven]

EEEEEEE so I've been in a writing mood as of late and I needed some help for a writing prompt. One of my best Tumblr friends(@let-love-run-red go check her out!!! She writes amazing garcello fics and headcanons and is a big inspiration for me!!)helped me out! This'll be a lil angsty sorry not sorry lol

•Nothing to lose•

(Trigger warnings!:Mentions of abuse,death,homelessness, multiple past abusive relationships,and bad cigarette habbits!)

You burst out laughing for what seemed to be the 10th time day as your buddy Garcello told yet another joke. "Seriously tho cello! That one was terrible! " He shot you a wink "heh your smiling though." You tried to wipe the smirk off your face. Unsuccessfully. "Am not" you playfully swatted his arm. He just shrugs "Whatever helps you sleep at night kid."

You roll your eyes, "Hey I'm not the one wearing a long sleeved coat and Jeans in the middle of summer" You sent a playful glare. "Your absolutely nuts!" He returns your glare. "Hey at least I'm not the one who's only clothes are T-shirts,shorts and Hoodies! All you ever wear are T-shirts and shorts. Your the crazy one. I don't see how you don't ever get cold"

You smile softy as you see the way he talks with his hands moving everywhere while he rants. I mean.. you do too its just nice to see someone else not pick on you for that. Its... nice to have someone who doesn't judge you for who you are whatsoever. It's been hard,taking care of three siblings all by yourself. Most would shy aways and call you crazy weird,disgusting,freak you've heard it all. Garcello...

Garcello was different.

"Y/n?"

You snap your head up effectively cutting off your somewhat depressing thoughts. "Hm?" You look over. "Are you alright? Ya kinda zoned out on me. I mean I know I can be boring at times but I didn't know I was a snooze fest" Besides his joking banter he has a face full of worry, Beautiful golden eyes scanning your face as if searching for the answer to a murder mystery.

"Nahh your not that boring. Promise. And..yeah I'm fine. Just kinda spaced out y'know?" He nods his head in agreement. You both slow to a stop. He chuckles a bit and turns to you. "Yeah yeah I know, it's just... I recognize that look, Y/N. Believe me I do.. im sorry to be a buzz kill but.. you know you can talk to me. About anything right?" You give that soft and kind smile that melts his heart every rare occasion he gets to see it. You never smile enough..

Sure there's the joking but... genuine smiles,ones that don't cover a dark and rough interior. He knows first hand what that feels like. So.. he tries. He's tries all he can to get you to smile that genuine smile as often as can be. For both your sakes.

"I know garcy. And thank you. Glad to know it still stands." You give him a quick hug that immediately makes his cheeks warm. He's really thankful for the shade his cap gives his face right about now. "I'll see you later alright? And tell Annie I said hey!" "Alrighty will do! And get some rest tonight okay? Cya." You nod a okay and walk inside your apartment.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------You stare holes into the ceiling. Past memories flash through your mind. Your mother, and father. You were disgusted to call them that. Helping and raising your siblings. Her...death.. being homeless..heh something both you and garcello share in common. Picking up your smoking habbit.. heh another thing. Meeting him.. These past few months.

Its been hard...but its been good. You have a roof over your head. Your four siblings are okay. You haven't seen your older brother in a while but he gave you a call. You have food, water,and.. Garcello and Annie. A smile works its was on your face.

I'm glad I met him' a soft smile works its way onto your face until you realize you thought just garcello and not both him and his sister. YES you love them both- like a family-its not like that- ugh why does thoughts have to be complicated!! You roll over,you have to get to sleep. Garcello told you to! And he said he wanted to meet up for something again. You slowly drift off.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Garcello was antsy the whole walk to the park;the place you two agreed to meet. His face was a mad red. He had your favorite flowers and your favorite candy! Reeces pieces and snickers. He's never done anything like this before. Confessing he means. Sure he's asked a few chick's out but... Nobody important or someone he cares about, nobody like you. You changed his entire life in just the few months he's knew you.. He hopes you'll say yes. then again.. his hopes are all the way up.. who'd wanna date guy like him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You look up from your phone to see garcello approaching you. He's very...stressed? No... anxious? Yes Anxious for lack of a better work. With his hands behind his back...Hmmm....

"Hey cello, whatcha got there? You got murder on your mind?" You give a teasing smirk. He just immediately freezes. "I-um-uhm. No. I uh got ya somethin' if that's alright?" He very stiffly sits in front of you. He's sweating bullets. Geeze what's got him this worked up.. "Dang cello with how your acting Ida thought you were askin' me out" you give a light chuckle. He freezes completely.

"Heh uh yeah heh...um..here..you go.. I bought these. For you.. Noone else. Heh" He awkwardly places a two boxes of your favorite candy and holds out a large boutique of your favorite flowers. You freeze completely, mouth hanging open in shock."Y/N...I've liked you for a while now.. your so nice and thoughtful...and you understand me. I was maybe hoping you'd go on a date? With me?" His face is cherry red.

What. He can't be serious? Really he can't. Nobody would ever like you that. Yes you love him.. but you can't afford to love him. Caring gets you hurt. And being vulnerable gets you killed mentally as well as physically You've long sense learned this from your past three relationships

"Are you serious?..Garcello... I cant.. I can't accept this.."

Your heart sinks as you watch the hope glittering off his eyes dim

"Of course I am! Y/N I love you..." Your both standing up at this point. Your both shaking.

"And garcello... I know-i know but please-i just cant!"

"At least tell me why? Am I not enough? I thought... maybe you'd understand.." He drops the boutique. He..he knew it..your too good for him...He really does disappoint everyone..

"Garcello I just cant!can't"! You don't notice the tears spilling down your face at this point.

"But why! I love you! I really do! You mean so much to me!" You take a step back.

"Just stop! don't do that to me Garcello! Dont give me hope! Never ever give me something I want, something I want as bad as you!"

"Why" he's pleading with you so hard..please...just tell him..

"BECAUSE THEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO LOSE!" You hadn't ment to scream. Your fists are clenched and eyes shut tight, you feel as if you might collapse at any moment. Garcello's stunned into silence. "And then I'll be open to get hurt... and I just.." You let out a broken sob. "I'm just so tired of being hurt" you don't move as he engulfs you into a hug.

"And as much as I love you too.. I can't risk being vulnerable again... raising 3 siblings and protecting them so at least they can have a good childhood while you haven't even had on yourself..." You don't notice tears of his own dropping on your shirt. "Being backstabbed and left broken with Noone to fix you...I just can't do it again..." He let's out a broken whisper. "I know Y/N.. I know more than you ever will."

Your just left there hugging in silence. You've decided. You can talk it out because as you were too blind by fear. Fear of being hurt again... he's just like you,two broken puzzle pieces that fit together.

Hope yall like it! Promt idea goes to @let-love-run-red ! Go follow and check her out!

I accept any and all constructive criticism!,

[themightyabbs]

Bokuto Headcanons

Thanks for the notes and follows, it means alot! Decided to come back to do Bokuto Headcanons! - He is absolutely without a doubt, always warm, he’s like a natural heater - Gives tight bear hugs, that are probably a bit suffocating (but what’s a bit of death when it comes to Bokuto, am I right?) - He’s clumsy (I see a lot of accidently broken plates,mugs,vases in your future) - He finds it funny how you like to pat his butt  (I might be projecting, and I wanna pat his butt, but lemme live okay) - If you don’t send him inside the store with a list, your just gonna have a whole bunch of junk food, the both of you like. (While nothing is wrong with that, Both of yall just can’t survive on hot cheetos, and fanta, I said what I said 😂) -He is super forgetful, and has selective memory.  - I feel like he has a hard time finding jeans (all that badonkadonk and he’s tall) - I feel like he is also obsessed with corny graphic tees, he definitely has at least one, “this guy loves cats” or something like that.  - When it comes to buying gifts or planning dates, I feel like he goes to kuroo but akaashi definitely has to chime in, with better advice.  - Always wearing mismatched socks (I JUST GET THE VIBE) - Also when he bear hugs you, he also likes to swing you around until both of you are dizzy and end up on the ground  - Definitely doesn't care about your body, skinny, chubby, midsize  - I feel like he would be really good at cheering you up, even when you wanna be sad.  - Golden Labrador Energy - Y’all would definitely have fun dates, like laser tag, or rolling skating  - Love Language is DEFINITELY Physical touch and Words Of Affirmation - If he gets home before you, he is definitely restlessly pacing the house waiting for you to get home so he can legit TACKLE you at the door - Y’all will be playing volleyball together, if you don't know how to play, HE WILL BE TEACHING YOU, you are gonna learn - I feel like he really enjoys PDA - He definitely sees you as a goddess of some sort  - It’s very easy to get him flustered  - If you told him a pick up line, he probably wouldn’t understand.  Like for example You: You from Tennesseee? Him: No? You: Your, Not? Because your the only 10 I see. Him: Tennesseee is spelled with an I??? and then have a whole existential crisis, and go into emo mode.  - He would definitely want to wear your mascara and lipgloss, like he would ask you to put some on him and then be like, “I’m so PRETTY”, and then brag to kuroo and akaashi - Deep Sleeper  - Early Bird, he’s your alarm clock in the morning  - Definitely makes a lot of noise in the morning, its not on purpose, he just doesn't realize how loud he can be - Really good with kids and animals  - Probably scared of spiders (HE GIVES THE VIBES, dont @ me) - He’s really helpful, and likes helping you - He may not be that good at studying, but he’ll help you out by reading out flashcards, or helping you organize your notes - Definitely likes a girl who can eat - He has a contagious laugh - He listens to Meg thee Stallion, you cant tell me different, he definitely listens to her before games - Is a more of dog person, but likes cats too  - Will spoil the pets to no end  - When you try to object they definitely both hit you with the one two cute pet eyes (Its a critical hit) -Definitely has a whole wardrobe of clothes for the pet - If you wear glasses, he definitely likes to try them on, i feel like he would try to look for a pair of non-prescription glasses too, just so he can be like you and cause he thinks they look cool  - Has the rough but gentle hands  - He definitely has really good hearing, and can decipher footsteps and voices really well  - I feel like his favorite feature about you would be your voice.  - If your facetiming/on the phone, i feel like it would go dead silent for a while with only you talking, and him just being so memorized that he just stops talking.  - Always cuddling  - Prefers for you to sleep on his chest, likes waking up to your face  - Loves giving/receiving forehead kisses  - Expect a lot of surprise hugs  - Would definitely use up all your shampoo/conditioner/bodywash because he thinks it smells good  - I think he would like making homemade gifts for you - Both of y’all are ticklish, and have constant tickle fights

[kaz11283]

You 21, Sam 22, Dean 24

 

“Dean, I don’t think this is a good idea.” You voiced from the passenger seat.  “He got out.”

“Yeah and now we need him to help find dad.  Besides we go get him, he helps find dad, he’s back by Monday.  No harm no foul.”  Dean said turning the radio down a little.

“Dean, it never happens like that.”  You rolled your eyes and pulled the blanket back up around your neck.

~~~

“Dean, of all the things you had planned to come get him you didn’t call him.” You rubbed the bridge of your nose with your thumb and fore finger.  “Now this THIS is not a good idea.  He may have been out of the game of a few years but this isn’t going to end well.  Just like when you broke into MY apartment.”  You watched as Dean slid the window up so that the both of you could climb through it.

“Relax y/n he’s gonna be so surprised.” He grinned back at you.

After Sam had gotten the best of Dean while you stood in the kitchen of the small apartment Dean turned to look at you.  “I’m not the only surprise.”

“Y/n?  Oh my lord.  It feels like it’s been forever.”  Sam engulfed you in a bear hug picking you up off your feet.  “Still small I see.”  He teased ruffling your hair.

“She’s our little fun size soon to be doctor.”  Dean laughed.  Jessica stared at you during the whole exchange

“Oh Jess, this is y/n, she’s been my best friend since forever.” He laughed swinging his arm around you.  “That’s my brother Dean.”

“Funny, Sam never mentioned you.”  Her smile tight as she stretched out a hand.

“Ouch, that would have hurt if I had a care.”  You glared dropping you hand instantly before you had taken hers.  “Boys, I’ll be outside waiting.  Sammy, I call shot gun.”  You walked out of the room back to the car.

Who did she think she was?  Some annoying, probably dumb, blonde that thought she had everything over you?  Was she really jealous? Of you?  You and Sam?  You shuddered at the thought of you and him together. “Gross.”  You mumbled to yourself.

“What’s gross?”  You instinctively punched the intruder that so happened to be Dean. “Dammit y/n stop hitting me!  You’re not exactly weak in the punching department.”  He said grabbing onto his arm.  You smirked hoping that there would be a bruise on there by tomorrow.

“It’s gross that Sam’s little blonde housewife is jealous of mine and his relationship.  I would never.”  You made a gagging noise while Dean laughed.  Sam gave you both a bitch face.

“She’s not jealous, she’s just comes off wrong at first.”  Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

“She can get over it.  Next time she comes at me like that I’m gonna punch her.”  You rolled your eyes facing the front of the car.

“You hitting her would be like her getting hit by a truck.  ‘Though she be tiny she is mighty’.” Dean laughed as you rolled your eyes again.

“Dean you’re the one that taught me self-defense before I left for collage because-”

“Because guys at collage are douche bags that sometimes can’t take no for an answer, besides you cant tell me that it didn’t come in handy.”

“Your right, I had this one guy try to break into my apartment about three days ago.  I’m pretty sure he learned his lesson though.  Instead of breaking in he knows to call now a head of time.”  You laughed.

“Y/n, all I’m saying in just give her time to adjust.  She woke up in the middle of the night with two people she had never met-”

“Or heard of.”

“Y/n,” Sam huffed leaning forward, “How many people did you tell about us?”

“Sam, all of my friends know about you and Dean.  They know that yall are basically like my older brothers.  I didn’t hid much of anything from them.  The only thing that they don’t know about is the life.  They know about Uncle Bobby, they know about Dean and about you.”  You turned to look at him now he could see in your eyes that your feelings were hurt.  “They know that I keep in touch with you and Dean.  They know that you’re always to busy to make it to the holidays.  My friends know just about every aspect in my life.  It hurts to know that you didn’t even care to mention you “best friend” to your girlfriend.”  You turned around and put your headphones in your ear ending the conversation.

When you got to the motel you got a separate room from the boys telling them that it had been a long trip and you just wanted them and you to be comfortable.  Walking in you threw your overnight bag on the floor by the bed and flopped down.  You would never get use to ridding in the car for long periods of time.  You hated it, it always made you feel gross.  Grabbing a long shirt from your bag you decided to just take a shower and wash the day’s journey off of you before flopping down on the bed and flipping through the channels coming on a Dr. Sexy marathon.

“Hey pip squeak, we ordered pizza if you want some.” Dean called on the other side of the door.  You got up an opened it for him.  “Is that my shirt?”

“Probably.”  You shrugged going back to your bag and grabbing a pair of shorts to pull on under the shirt.  “Does it bother you as bad as it does me that he didn’t talk about you much?”

“Yeah, a little bit.  But that’s Sammy’s way of escaping the life.  He just ignores stuff pretending like it doesn’t exist.  He thinks that by ignoring it it’ll just disappear.  He didn’t mean to hurt your feeling or mine.”

“Wow I don’t know what hurts most the fact that he didn’t say anything about me or pretended like I didn’t exist." You said picking at one of the strings on the old faded comforter.

"Y/n if it hurts your feelings so much that you dont wanna be around him I will completely understand if you wanna go back to school. No hard feelings, no poor pitiful me bullshit. Screw Sam, but I want you to know that I'm always and will always be here." He said reaching out and placing a hand on your knee.

"Dean I really appreciate it but you came all the way to KCU to get me. Your not getting rid of me that easily, besides if it means helping your dad I can over look your jackass of a brother for a weekend." You played his hand before standing up. "Let's go scarf down since grub and make your brothers life hell by making him watch Dr. Sexy MD with us." You laughed walking out of the room.

@samsgirl93

@spn-obession

[dazzledamazon]

Break Free 1/1

 Ella handed Hank his beer,”You are honestly telling me that you’ve never watched the original 1931 Dracula? Seriously?,” she asked him skeptically,

“Seriously,” he smirked, taking a swig of beer,

“I can lend you my dvd. There’s two versions. The Bela Lugiosi version and a Spanish version filmed at night on the exact sets after the other crew left. I’ve watched it. Pretty cool,” Ella grinned.

“You watched the Spanish version? Have you been teasing me the whole time saying you didnt speak Spanish?,” he asked suspiciously,

“Nope. Subtitles,” she grinned. “I’d never lie to yall,” she laughed, “You never did answer my question big guy. Ya wanna borrow my copy? Has special features and everything.”

“How about you bring it over and we do movie night at my place?,” Hank quietly asked.

He shyly looked at her. They had flirted but neither had done anything about it. She was really shy. Ella’s blond hair fell in front of her face, She looked at him from under her lashes, her smile lit up her face.

“Sounds like a plan. You just tell me the time and place.”

Before Hank could say anything, Riz yelled something at him and Ella’s cell rang. The smile quickly fell from her face after she answered it. 

“Hold on,” her normally soft voice became sharp,

Hank put his hand on hers, “El, you ok?”

She smiled at him,”Yeah, I have to take this real quick, Family bullshit, I’ll be right back,” she said, grabbing a beer, kissing his cheek and basically running out of the bar.

Hank joined Bishop, Riz and Taza at a table. They’d all watched their brother finally make a move on Ella only for this call to disturb the mood.All of them knew what it meant when Ella left taking a call from her family. She was related to Emily Galindo distantly, somehow. Like 5th or 6th cousin twice removed. 

“Think she’ll be ok?”, Taza asked.

“Hope so, El is so damn loyal to them. They treat her like a piece of fuckin shit. Yet they keep calling her,”Bishop sighed.

Ella had worked at the clubhouse as bartender for about 5 years. Every family holiday she spent alone. Always given excuses as to why she couldn;t be allowed to celebrate with them. One of the guys found out that Ella was the blacksheep of that family. Always had been. It was something about her father. No one really knew why especially her. She was the oldest of her siblings. 

“Your sister is getting married next week.”

Ella took a huge sip of her beer,”Why am I being told now?”

“There was no reason to tell you, Not until we got the RSVP’s back. And there was actually room.”

Ella had the speaker on, The woman screamed into the phone. Making sure she could hear every word, She sat as far away from the clubhouse as possible so the guys couldnt hear her. Never wanted them to know. 

“Mrs. Shear, I will try to be there. I have a job. I cant just take off at a moment;s notice.”

“Hmph. You mean a useless bartender can’t get a day off? Talk to them where they can understand. You should be with your own kind.”

Ella’s jaw set angrily. The guys were incredible people. Much better, no human. nothing like those plastic, unfeeling bastards where she was from. Only one thing had ever been taught to her, loyalty. Loyalty to family. The Mayans were the same. But what she never knew was there was a limit to that loyalty. 

“My own kind? As what? Galindo’s maid? or lower,” she mumbled.

“What did you say to me?”, her mother’s voice angrily boomed from the cell phone’s tiny speaker.

“I’ll try. Is there anything else Mrs Shears?”, Ella asked sweetly, wanting to vomit.

Her fingers tightening around the edge of the table so hard they were turning white. Angry tears started to fall. The phone clicked off. Ella sat at the table with her head in her hands. The phone rang again.

“Yes Mrs. Shears,?” she asked, 

“Watch your tone. If you don’t come, you’re disowned. Show up alone, you’re disowned. Doubt we will see you.’

Tears fell. Before she could say a word, Hank sat next to her. Hugging her, he leaned close to the phone.

“We will be there Ma’mm.”

“Hank...no,’ she said, quietly in shock,.

He shook his head,”Ella and I will be there. Send us the directions. Good day,” as he hung up.

“Hank... no,”

He looked at her,”I’m going with you. No arguments.”

“Hank no, They way she will treat you. You are too special to me. You dont deserve it. Please stay here,” she pleaded.

“I know all about them. I’m going.”

“Thank you but if you change your mind it’s ok.”

“I won’t,” Hank said, hugging her tightly.

Bishop, Riz and Taza watched them.

“Think this will end well for our girl?,” Riz asked.

Taza grinned,”Her family, hell no. Ella and Hank, maybe.”

“The minute they see him, they’ll disown her. He won’t be rich enough for them. Maybe that’s what our little sister needs,” Bishop replied.”She’s loyal to people who don’t love her. Maybe it’s about time Hank got off his ass and told how much he does,” he chuckled.

The day arrived. They got to the hotel next to the church. The hotel, due to the wedding and several other events in town, was sold out. Only room available was next to the boiler and one bed. But it was paid for as part of the wedding party, which shocked Ella. She’d been really quiet the whole day.

“El are you ok?”

She nodded,”Yeah. It’s just kinda weird to be back here after all this time.”

“How long?”

“Six years. The last Christmas before my Grandma died. After that I moved. Got a job bartending for a bunch of ruffians who are just a bunch of great guys,” she smiled.

“Don’t let it get around huh? Might ruin our image. Go and change. It’ll be ok,” he said giving her a tight hug.

“Thank you”

Ella walked out wearing a knee length, sleeveless cobalt blue dress. Her blonde hair in a loose braid. Hank was floored.

“You’re stunning.”

“Thank you Hank. You’re not so bad yourself handsome,” she said, admiring him in the black blazer and ensemble.

After the ceremony and purposely being seated in the very last pew, they got to the reception.

“Ella are you sure you want to stay,?” Hank asked, seeing the disapproving looks she’d gotten.

“Just a few minutes. Then I want to take my handsome date out,” she said, a blush appearing on her face.

“Dance with me,” he said, holding out his hand.

They slow danced until a throat loudly cleared behind them.

“Cinderella,you know never to dance with the help. It’s embarrassing to me,” her mother said.

“Mother, Hank is MY DATE and MY best friend.”

Hank took her hand in his tightly,pulling her as close to him as possible,”Mrs Spears, beautiful wedding.”

“How dare you bring him!”

“You don’t even know him you fucking bitch.”

Hank and her mother’s eyes both widened in shock. Ella could curse but it was rare. She’d never cursed at her mother before but treating Hank that way did it. She’d defend him and any of the Mayans. Her real family.

“You want respect you’ve never given. Love you don’t deserve. I’ve been loyal to this family because I was supposed to. Bitch it’s supposed to go both ways. Take these “family” heirlooms fake jewelry more like it, and shove em your ass. It’ll be the most action you’ve had in years,” she hissed,” taking the bracelet, necklace and ring off and throwing them into her slice of cake.

Unless you were up close like Hank was, you’d have thought they were just chatting happily.

“Just like your father. Running away with the first person who gives you attention,” she said with venom. Throwing her glass of champagne in Ella’s face ,” Leave you have no family”

“Yes she does. She’s got me,” Hank replied, pulling her close, before leading her out of the reception and to their room.

They walked into the room. Ella started to apologize when Hank put a finger to her lips.

“Don’t.”

“She shouldn’t have spo..”

Hank put a finger to her lips,”Id have come anyway. You have an actual family that loves you. We will always be there.”

“I know that now. I guess I was scared after them, that I’d be wrong. Bish, Taza,Riz, Creepie, Angel, Coco, Gilly,Chucky, EZ. And definitely you Hank.”

Hank kissed her,” I love you Ella. My Princesa.”

“I love you my Prince Charming in a cut. Always have.”

“Change beautiful. I want to show off my lioness. MY girl. Take you on a real date. Before we have to go back home,” he said kissing her forehead.

She beamed at him,”I wanna show off my man”

The next afternoon when they got back, after Hank told them about what happened with her mother, she hugged the guys.

“I missed my real familia, you knuckleheads, but I came back with my man,” she said kissing Hank, as the guys cheered and she flipped them off.

@everyhowlmarksthedead @chibsytelford

@basickassandra @elcococruz @samcrobae @mayans-mc @shameless-pope @arveeee @hermankopusortizorsumshite

[pinkykitten]

Based on a Gif!

Marvel

Steve Rogers (Captain America) x smoke abilities! female reader (requested by @captainskyline)

Warning: curse words, violence, angst l(ike what is with me and angst lately jeesh)

The team was splitting. Some thought it was needed to sign the Sokovia Accords while some thought it was unnecessary. Including your Steve Rogers. 

“Tony we need to convince Steve to sign the dam* thing. I can’t lose him too,” you stressed to Tony as he rubbed his temple. “I know y/n, I’m trying here. He’s-”

“Stubborn, trust me I know.” Sighing you stand abruptly to go see Steve. Steve is in his room overlooking pictures of Peggy Carter. 

You feel bad as you place a hand on his shoulder, “she was beautiful Steve.” You hear him sniffle as he laughs, trying to play it off, “yeah she was a doll, a gift.”

“You know you don’t need to do that. You can cry if you want to, you can miss her Steve. She was an important person in your life and she meant a lot to. I understand all that. I’m here for you.” 

Steve nodded and gave you a tight hug, “I do miss her y/n.” He breathed out. A tear fell down his cheek and lightly kissed your skin. You kissed his forehead. “You know though what I am here to discuss about.”

Steve shook his head, “I can’t believe you want to sign the accords.”

“Steve there are rules and lines we can’t cross. You need to understand this isn’t just our world, this isn’t our playground!”

Steve laughed, “what you think that I believe this a game? A joke?”

“No I don’t think that, in fact I think totally differently. People look up to you Steve,” you grasp his hands in yours. “They see you as their savior. They’re scared and sometimes don’t understand us. Thats why signing this shows that you’re on their side and you can show them that we heroes take their thinking and putting into our hearts. Plus they saw what happened with Wanda.”

“Oh c’mon y/n, you’re starting to sound like Tony!”

“Well Steve lets see, all the people only saw was that she exploded a building!”

“She’s just a kid.”

You got into his face, “and they are just people! They don’t know the in depth things of situations. They don’t know that she’s just learning, they don’t know that Tony has panic attacks, they don’t know that you have nightmares. They don’t know how much I love you, see those things people don’t see! All they see is someone to save them! When they have no hope we give them that Steve. We are their light in a darkened world. Why can’t you see that?”

“I’m sorry y/n, I can’t sign it.”

You nodded, “well then we’re done.” You walked away and could see in the clear glass of the windows his saddened reflection. 

“So this is what is has come to,” you said as you were placed on Iron Man’s side, the side of good. 

“Hello their y/n,” Steve said as he was standing opposite from you, with his team. 

You ignored him and face Tony, “are we gonna get on with this or not?”

Tony chuckled and soon you all started running two each other. You fought with Wanda first. Anger boiling within you as you used your powers on her. You used your gift to lift her in the air with smoke and drop her down harshly on the ground. 

Then it all led up to fighting Steve. “Wow this should be easy to kick your as*.”

Steve gave you a guilty face. His blue eyes seeping into your brain and making you have feelings for him all over. “Y/n I don’t think I can-”

You shut him up real fast as you used your powers on him. 

Steve rolled and hit one of the airplanes. 

“You can’t what? Hurt me? Too late Rogers, you already did.” The smoke blocked his vision and you became invisible. The smoke was everywhere. Steve looked all around until you came up from behind him and locked your legs around his neck, flipping him over. He quickly though found his place and hit you with his shield, sending you hitting the ground. 

“I don’t want to do this to you y/n. I can’t hurt you.” Steve gasped as he saw your tears. “Why? You did hurt me Steve. You chose a piece of paper over our relationship. Everything we have been through. And now you don’t want me to hurt you? You don’t want me to kick your as* after everything you put me through. Steve, I loved- still love you. But you pushed me away. I can’t go through this anymore.” You were about to puff hot smoke on him but Steve did not move. “If this is what you feel to be right then I won’t stop you.”

You put your hands out and tried to hurt him, tried to sting him but you just couldn’t. More tears came out as you stopped, “I can’t hurt you...I’m still in love with you Rogers.”

Steve motioned over to you and placed his hands on your cheek, “this is for until we meet again.” He placed his rough delicate lips over yours and kissed you. It was nostalgic. You missed the feeling. You grasped tightly onto his shoulders to deepen the kiss. 

“I will always love you y/n,” Steve gave you a charming smile. 

“I can’t never stop loving you,” you cried as you let him go on a jet with Bucky. “Until we meet again.”

(authors note: lil fact civil war is actually one of my fav marvel movies, one, one of my fav dont get my words twisted now lol. i know its angsty and all that jazz but i just felt that at this time and moment and cool i hate myself ✌️ jk hope yall like it and pls pls keep requesting this is ur LAST DAY)

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @fangirl-4-life415, @dirbel, @marwantr, @divaanya, @wassupitschloe, @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag), @spycii, @woeisbutwoe, @pormacskaa

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[cryinggameff]

Sixty Seven

Randi

I was arranging everything for the big pregnancy reveal that morning, including still inviting people because i was bad at planning things. I called Cole last because i had a feeling we'd end up on the phone for a while talking about other shit. I hadn't seen him since his game last week.

“I’m having a brunch at my place tomorrow,” I said, “be there.” I waited for him to laugh or say he’d be there but he paused for a while.I stretched out on the couch that i was sitting on, resting my legs in Cayden's lap.

“I may have something else, I’ll let you know,” he said.

“Something like what? It’s importnat,” I said, trying to stress that I had something to tell him without actually telling the news.

“I’ll get back to you,” He said. My face scrunched up in confusion at what he could possibly have to do that he couldn’t come to my place for like an hour, especially when I was offering him food.

“Fine...”i said.

“Aight, gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ok, bye...”I said just before he hung up. I must have been visibly frowning because Cay looked over at me and said,

“What?”

“Cole just shaded me mad hard on the phone,” I said.

“You probably just over thinking it, what he say?” He asked.

“He said he may have something else, and that he’d ‘get back to me’, even though I said it was obviously important,” I said, putting my phone down and crossing my arms. Cayden made a ‘yikes’ face. “Exactly.”

“Cole can be pissy, he probably just having a bad day or something,” he tried. I shot him a look and he quickly got up. “Well I’m gonna go to work now.”

“I’m gonna go get ready I guess,” I mumbled, “I look horrendous today, my face is all puffy.”

“You look alright to me,” Cayden said, fishing his keys from his pocket.

“Gee thanks,” I said.

“You look beautiful I mean,” he grabbed my arm with a smirk. “Where you going anyways?”

“Out with Jenny, I think China and Jada might come.”

“Alright, have fun, and no fast food, you gotta start eating healthy for real babe,” he gave me a serious look.

“Yeah, yeah. Good bye,” I said, getting up and walking to the stairs. We went our separate ways and i started working on making myself look decent.

Lunch was just Jenny and I which was cool. She was telling me about work and what she had been doing, some trip she was planning. When she was done I asked what I really wanted to know.

“So what about the guy you told me about, the one you’re working for?” I asked. She bit her lip and I leaned in closer.

“I finally agreed and went out with him,” she said I’m a guilty tone.

“And?” I encouraged her to go on and spill the real tea.

“It was good, really good. Weird, but good.”

“See! I knew you would have a good time. So are you guys going out again?” I asked.

“We’ve been talking everyday since. I see him a lot because of work. We’re still getting to know each other, I don’t even know what it is if anything yet. I’m not in a rush at all,” she said.

“Well I think you should bring him to brunch tomorrow,” I said.

“That would be weird,” she said.

“Why? You’re not even together yet, I just wanna see him. China is bringing Rambo, Jada night be bringing a friend so it will be chill.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said,giving me look that convinced she wasn’t even concidering it. “What’s this brunch about anyways,” she made a face.

“Come and find out,” I said with a smile.

“God, you’re the worst. You wanna know everyone else’S business, but you’re real hush about your own,” she cut me a look. I laughed and shrugged.

“I’m not that interesting,” I said simply.

“I beg to differ,” she said. “Oh thank god, foods here.” I turned around and saw the waiter coming with our plates. My mouth watered. I was starving, and really craving spicy food.

I called Cayden on my way to the salon. I wanted to drop in for a little bit.

“Hey babe,” he said.

“Hi,” I said, adjusting my pants which were now tight.

“What’s up?” He asked.

“I have the worst heart heart burn,” I complained. I knew it was the spicy food but I left that part out.

“You take some medicine?” He asked.

“No. I don’t even know what I’m aloud to take,” I frowned.

“Call the doctor and ask,” he suggested.

“Ok,” I said.

“Where are you going? I can hear you driving.”

“To the salon. I’m meeting some guy to talk about how much it would cost to build our own place,” I said.

“Y’all still on that second store idea,” he said, in a tone that suggested he was not a fan.

“What you mean still on it Cay, we decided like months ago,” I said, checking my side mirror and changing lanes.

“You really tryna be doing all that while you pregnant?” He asked.

“It’s gonna be a long 9 months, honestly the distraction might be nice.”

“Yeah but the stress ain’t good for the baby. You know how worked up you get,” he said. “Plus your anxiety been bad lately.” All the points he was making were valid but for some reason it set me off and I got defensive.

“I’m anxious because I’m pregnant and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing Cayden. Because I didn’t see this happening, at least not any time soon. So, please, give me a break with that, ok. And if I wanna work and I feel like it’s gonna be good for me then I’m gonna work,” I said frantically, my hands firm on the steering wheel. I could hear him groan even over the phone.

“I better not hear you bitching about how stressed you are then,” he mumbled. I got emotional then and tears started falling from eyes before I could understand what was happening.

“You don’t have to be so mean all the time,” I cried, tears clouding my vision of the road. He could definitely hear that i was crying, there was no covering it up.

“Ok Sorry,” He said, caught off guard by my sudden emotion. I was still crying and was considering pulling over at this point. It was like i knew it wasn't worth crying over but had no control over it. “Don’t cry, please. It was my bad, i shouldn't be swearing at you anyway, pregant or not."

“Okay,” I mumbled, a snotty mess.

“I feel bad," he said, and i could hear in his voice that he really did, and knowing Cayden he would be off the whole day if he thought he hurt me.

“It's ok, i just got overwhelmed.” I took a steadying breath.

“I'm working on being patient,” he said. Wow. I should just stay pregnant forever, i thought to myself. I never would have gotten all that from him before i had a baby in me.

"God, I love you Cay," i said, missing him now.

"I love you baby mama," he replied. "But i gotta go. Imma see you soon though,"

"Okay, see you in a bit." We said goodbye then i hung up. I had arrived at the salon anyways. I grabbed my bag and got out.

The next morning I woke up early because i had to cook and get ready as well. My mom came early to help me cook though, so it wasnt that bad. I had a chance to get changed and put some makeup on once we were done. Cayden was still lounging in the bed while i got ready in the bathroom. I put on a floral dress that ended just above my knees and was quite fitted so it showed off now slightly poking bump. My plan was to wear a cardigan until i announced, then id show the evidence. I put some lipgloss on to finish and then left the bathroom.

"Damn," Cayden said, getting up from the bed, still naked which was pretty distracting. He gripped my shoulders and kissed my forehead. "you deadass glowing," he said. I looked down at myself.

"Really?" i asked. He nodded, pushing aside my cardigan and putting his giant hands on either side of my stomach.

"You look good with my kid inside you."

"I dont know how i feel about that statement," i said, feeling slightly disturbed. He chuckled, sliding his hands around to my lower back.

"Speaking of being inside you," he said, pulling me into his naked body.

"Im tired," i complained, "and i just got dressed. Also you know my mother's downstairs?"

"Shit, i forgot about your moms," he said, caressing my butt. I had a feeling this was still gonna end how Cayden planned because i was weak and generally couldn't resist him. "You just gotta be quiet then, you know how you be screaming" he said with a sexy grin on his lips. I felt him poking me then and i looked down.

"Cay" i said with a laugh. He looked me over, lingering at my chest.

"What you expect me to do?" My mother started calling my name from downstairs then and i fixed my cardigan that he had opened quickly so i could leave.

"I dont know but be quick about it, people will be here soon," i said, heading for the door. I left him to get ready and went to go see what my mom wanted.

Cayden

People were already getting there when i got downstairs, and Randi was running around of course. I dont know why she made this such a big thing and created work for herself, but i also understood that she wanted to get everyone we cared about together. My parents were just coming through the front door so i went to go get their jackets and stuff.

"Hey mama, pops," i said, hugging my mom and shaking my dads hand.

"Hey baby..." she said wearily.

"What?" i asked.

"You got your mama nervous wondering what this brunch all about," Pops said, gruff as usual. I laughed.

"Relax mama," i told her. She cut me a mad side eye and i just took her jacket from her hands and put it in the closet. "Yall head in," i told them. Ty had just pulled up, and Cole was with him. I sighed in relief for myself that he had showed up, i would have never heard the end of it if he hadn't and whatever drama he and Randi had continued. They walked up the driveway and i dapped them both when they came to the door. I remembered then that Ty already knew.

"Where the food at," he said immediately.

"Dining room," i said. He pushed past me and walked away to that area. I stopped Cole before he could follow.

"whats good with you and Randi?" i asked.

"Why do i feel like you gon off me or something for having problems with her?" He looked at me suspiciously. I cackled.

"Nigga that petty drama is not my business. I know she frustrating, im married to her," i shrugged.

"Amen to that," he mumbled. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I know its nothing that deep because yall still talking, and you here. Both of you just childish." I squeezed his shoulder tighter. "But if you ever did really hurt her feelings,i actually would have to off you. I hope you know that," i said, all smiles gone now. He looked surprisingly accepting of the fact.

"Ty warned me already," he said. "That would be pretty shitty for me."

"It would be for me too, cause you my nigga" i said, looking him in the eyes.

"Nice of you to show up," Randi's voice came from behind me. I patted Cole's back playfully and turned to face her.

"Well thats my cue," i said. I left them to hash things out and went to go find food myself.

I was talking to Randi's dad when i spotted Jenny coming through the door, Randi greeting her like the good host she was. I smiled and made a move to go and say hi but stopped in my tracks when a dude id never seen before came through the door after her. Randi hugged Jenny and then she went to go hug the dude and my hand tightened around the cup i was holding.

"Excuse me sir, someone i know just got here," i said to pops.

"Go ahead son," he said. I put my cup down on the counter and started walking to the door. Randi saw me then and she quickly walked over to meet me before i got there. She grabbed my arm as i made eye contact with Jenny, who looked like a kid that had just gotten in trouble.

"Be nice," Randi said.

"He's in my house," i pointed out.

"Okay, but i invited him," she said. I looked down at her.

"Yeah, and im wondering why," i said, trying to control my temper so i didnt pop off on him and her.

"I was trying to be supportive of Jenny moving on," she said, defending herself. I scoffed.

"You helping her move on from my brother," i shook my head, getting more pissed off as i thought about it and looked at the dude standing in my house. Jenny came up to us then and she turned to Randi.

"I told you this wasn't a good idea," Jenny said, "I think im just gonna go."

"No dont," Randi said. 

"You supposed to be on my side Randi," i said, feeling betrayed. At this point my problem wasn't even with Jenny. I felt more like Randi had gone behind my back.

"I am on your side, im always on your side," she said, voice low.

"You really acting like it," i said, looking over at the guy standing by the door. I turned and left to go back into the house where everybody was. I wanted to walk all the way out the house, but i knew i couldn't just up and leave while all these people here for us, and especially because we were supposed to tell them about the baby. I got back to the party and walked up to Ty.

"We bout to pull up on someone?" Ty asked, seeing my face.

"nah," i said.

"You gotta relax my nigga. I got you," he said, pulling a blunt out of his pocket.

"Bet," i nodded to the stairs.

We passed the blunt around for a while in one of the guest bathrooms upstairs with the shower running and window open so we wouldn’t smell up the place. After a while a knock came on the door.

"Its me, your wife, who you love, also carrying your unborn child," she said.

"Wow, she really got you locked down dont she?" Ty said. I rolled my eyes.

"Ty, you better open this door," she said.

"Yo she scares me," he shrugged, going to open the door. "Imma go downstairs."

"Go put on some of Cay's cologne first," Randi said, shaking her head. He smelled himself then nodded. It hit me then that the whole room was swimming in weed.

"You shouldn't be here, the baby," i said.

"Yeah its pretty bad," she was plugging her nose already because she didnt like the smell. I put the blunt out and walked out into the attached bedroom and she followed. I sat on the bed and she came to sit beside me.

"They're gone now," she said. I didnt say anything so she continued. "I didnt think youd be that mad."

"You expect me to be happy about that shit?" i looked at her like 'really'.

"No. I thought you'd just be shocked but eventually warm up to the idea. But clearly i was wrong," she said, and when i mean mugged her she added, "and stupid. Im sorry you felt like i wasn't on your side."

"I also dont like surprises, and people i dont know, you know that."

"I know," she said, caressing my cheek. "But you do know you gonna have to warm up to the idea of her going on with her life at some point right?" I groaned, thinking about if jenny actually ended up staying with this nigga. One way or another i would eventually have to know him, unless i was gonna cut off Jenny, which id never do.

"But you really gotta be out here helping bring them together?" I locked my jaw. She grabbed my chin with her slender fingers.

"Okay ill stay out of it from now on, and tell you what, if you get to know him and you still hate him i wont fuck with him either."

"Good," i mumbled. She kissed my cheek.

"Can we go tell people about the baby now? I really need to get it over with while i still have the nerve," she looked really uninterested in the whole idea which was funny, most girls loved things like this.

"Yeah lets go," i took her hand and we left the room.

Once we got downstairs Randi gathered everyone in the living room and said she wanted to make a toast. So everyone held their glasses expecting her to make one. She looked nervous now that everyone was looking at her, so i wrapped my arm around her waist to calm her down. She looked up at me and i knew i was gonna be the one making this announcement. I turned to everyone else and lifted my glass.

"Id like to make a toast, to the reason we're all here. To my beautiful wife," i looked down at her and she blushed, "who has a way of bringing everyone together, even when its against their will," people laughed and she rolled her eyes. I looked back her, and we locked eyes for a long moment, and it was like looking into her soul. "She's loving, caring...and selfless, all the things that are gonna make her an amazing mother." I finished and everyone was frozen, looking suspicious but not 100% sure. Randi stepped out of my grip and opened her sweater revealing a small, but obvious bump.

"I knew it!" her mom hollered from the kitchen "Thank you Jesus!" Cheers and clapping erupted and people swarmed us, well mostly Randi, to say congratulations and ask how far along she was, all that stuff. It was weird being congratulated for making a human, but i rolled with it.

Our parents finally got a moment with us and they were clearly the happiest out of everyone here.

"I can't wait to tell all the ladies at church," her mom said, hugging Randi tight to her.

"Oh me too, especially that Heather May, always announcing her new inlaws and grandkids every sunday. Oh we're gonna show her," my mom chimed in, also gushing over Randi and brushing her hand through her hair. My dad came and clapped me on the back, actually smiling and looking genuinely happy for the first time in god knows how long.

"Im happy for you son. Being a father will change you, but it will be the greatest thing you do," he said.

"Thanks Pops, im gonna try my best. You 'bout to be grandpa now though," i said, realizing that myself. He chuckled, sounding genuinely amused which was also shocking.

"hm i guess so," he said, looking like he was imagining it now. He looked...excited. I guess it was true what people said, babies had a way of bringing people together.

"Well done Son!" Randi's dad pulled me in to a tight bear hug. He was back to his normal self after the heart attack several months ago. He had done intense physical therapy and i know Randi was still really worried about him for a while but now you could tell he was back to good health.

"She's doing all the hard work," i said.

"Oh its going be a long 9 months for you too. Just wait. Her mother had me driving 3 hours to go and get pizza from a specific pizzaria,and god forbid i forgot the anchovies on the side" he looked to her mom who shrugged.

"Pregnancy cravings are normal. How have you been doing? Why didnt you tell me earlier?" She looked slightly hurt.

"Well you already knew so obviously i wasn't hiding it well. Im just tired, throwing up, but thats it," Rand told her.

"Awe. Can you imagine, my baby is having a baby," she said, tearing up, not for the first time. I could tell Randi was already getting tired of everyone being all in her face, but they were just excited.

"Ill come find you later mom. I need to talk to some other people," she smiled at her mom, who reluctantly let her go. Randi came to slide under my arm.

"Jesus," she mumbled.

"i know," i said, rubbing her arm. "Well theres Cole, that should cheer you up." He was making his way over to come talk to us since our parents had been hogging us.

"I can't even believe it," he said, hugging Randi tightly and picking her up off the ground. She laughed which was nice to hear. "Lil nugget is gonna be a mom, wow," he said.

"You never suspected, right?" she smirked.

"Never, im still in shock," he shook his head. "Wait, is this why you were ghosting me?"

"Ive been ghosting everyone. Im always either laying down or sleeping most of the time, epecially in the beginning. But its getting better now," she said. "That's also why i left your game, it was cold and Cay didn't want me getting sick."

"Well now i feel like an ass," his face dropped.

"That because you are an ass," i shrugged with a grin.

"May be an ass but at least my pull out game is strong," he shrugged.

"Hi, im here," Randi said, waving her hand around.

"So, what am i gonna be, like an uncle?" he asked, bending down to observe her stomach.

"Yeah i guess," she shrugged.

"Cool," he said, smiling. Randi looped her arm in his and they went off to go talk with Jada and China. I took that as sign that they were no longer fighting, which was good for all of us.

Randi

After about an hour of talking to people and having my bump touched and people hugging and kissing me i was really over it and was ready to just crash. I had been on my feet since this morning too so i was exhausted which made me feel sick. People were still mingling and trying to get a hold of me and i had been separated from Cayden a while ago but i went to go find him. He was out back on the deck with Ty and his parents. I went up to him and grabbed his arm. He bent down so i could talk in his ear.

"Can we go? I feel sick," i said. He nodded and wrapped an arm tight around my waist.

"Ill catch up with you guys later," he said to them. They said ok and he led me back inside. We went upstairs and i made a b-line to the bathroom with him behind me. I tried to throw up for a while but nothing came up and it was just dry heaving which was almost worse. After a while he just held me on the bathroom floor, and it was the first quiet, calm, moment we'd had together since the party started.

"Thanks for breaking the news," i said. "I panicked."

"It's aight. I was excited to tell them anyways."

"The strangest part of all this," i said, pasuing to really think about it, "is that now they all know we've been having sex."

"I think they knew that already Randi," he chuckled. He had a good point, but it still felt oddly exposing.

"Is it bad that i want them all to leave now," i mumbled,cheek to the floor.

"I can tell them to get out if thats what you want," he offered. I shook my head.

"Here, drink this," my moms voice suddenly came from the bathroom door. She was standing there holding a mug. "It will help with the nausea," she explained, walking over towards the bathtub where we were. So i took it and drank it. "Dont worry, people are starting to leave already. They saw you leaving and realized how tired you must be."

"Thanks mommy," i said, feeling particularly childish at the moment. She smiled.

"Im gonna go start cleaning up," she said. I nodded and then she left.

"Im a horrible person," i said as soon as she was gone.

"What? Why?" Cayden said, confused.

"Because i didn't wanna tell her, or anyone, and they're all so happy."

"Nah, that doesn't make you a horrible person. You're just private. But aren't you sort of glad they know now?" I knew what he meant, it made it feel more real, and their excitement and joy did make me feel like something good was coming. I was touched by how many people already loved this baby.

"Are you trying to say i told you so to me? While im pregnant?" I looked up at him.

"Is that gonna be the new card you play every time things aren't going your way?" he guessed.

"Yes, yes it is," I nodded proudly.

"Well, seriously though, thank you."

"For what?" i asked, playing with his hand in mine.

"For doing this for me," he rubbed my stomach, he was the only person that i actually liked doing that.

"You're welcome. But there is something i been wanting to say to you, and i feel like its important for you to know," i started.

"Okay..." he said, brows coming together.

"I am excited about having a baby.Yes, i'm doing this for you, but for me too. I know i was slow to warm up to the idea, but i can't wait to raise kids with you Cay," i smiled up at him. I saw the glimmer in his eye and it made me melt inside.

"Wait, you said kids, plural," he smirked. Of course he would focus on that.

"I did," i simply replied. He leaned down to plant his lips on mine, kissing me with all the excitement and love in the world. I wasn't sure if it was whatever drink my mom made, or the kiss, but i suddenly didn't feel sick anymore.

[sillysillytalk]

So. Do i not tell u what i feel now? Are u gonna read this? Well if u do or not thats for u to find out ah. Idk what to say or do anymore. So if u find this then so be it. U think it's bad i tell my friends? Haha. Twitter is everyone. Ppl not even close to u. It's literally the public. Why i delete? U cried when trevor said love yall. Its yall eh. I wasnt gonna let that happen again tho. See u cry like that. No freaking way. But guess what. In the end, shit still happens. Maybe we are not the one for each other b. But while we are here, i'm gonna give u as much happiness as i can. That's my purpose. Who knew love would be so hard. I feel like we keep having the same problems just like u said. But to me it's like the fact that we are having the same problems means that you literally haven't done any thing to change. Have u ever sacrificed for me? Made a decision that you may not have made if i wasn't in ur life? I honestly wanna know cos I've done it over and over again. Every time my friends jio me to sth,i ask u hoping maybe this time u will be ok with it. But no so i just dont go. But u still get upset anyways. Lol. So wtf do u wan me to do? Hahhahahah im really gg fucking nuts. Not even just clubbing,go out w nabs also cannot,stay at hall also cannot,dont sleeo also cannot,kimak u doubt me so much then why the fuck u still w me? U insecure? Well this is basically accusations. Amd im sorry u get when im upset that we dont meet? So when ure doubting when ure not w me,its ok? But when im upset that we dont meet its not? Do u even see the irony? Its a fucking joke. U know i fucking change a lot for u? Fucking hell i used to talk to harraz friends about him sia. When he found out he was just like u. Lol. Thats why when hyrul asked me abt u i didnt say shit. But i guess even my friends are off limits. So ill rant here then. But guess what when u find this youll probably get angry too. Well get angry if i have no place to vent my frustrations at all,i might actually go insane. You dk how to please me,dude what abt you?? Wth have u done for me huh? Look at my room. Wheres the letters wheres the gifts? Look at ur room. You see them? Oh ya. U give me time? I give u the same amout and more. Fuck. Idk what the hell u tryna do. But i feel so fucking pathetic and such a loser. Lol im the girl eh. Im the one that gets to throw a fit,the one who doesnt have to give in. This is such a joke. Im a fucking joke. HAHHAHAHA FUCK. LOL. idk wtf to say to u anymore. So i wont. Truth or hide? Express myself or not? Give in or not? GO TO PARTIES OR NOT? BE CLINGY OR NOT?? HOW THE HELL CAN I MAKE U HAPPY HUH??? AND GUESS WHAT IN THE END IM THE ONE CRYING ALONE IN MY ROOM. ALWAYS. U are never here for me when i need u. Nobody ever is. And i make sure im always there when u do. Have u ever taken a taxi down just to see me? To make sure im ok? Well i have. So fuck u b. FUCK U. Yeh,thats what i wanna say to u. And after i say that i expect u to hug me tight and let me cry in ur arms cos I fucking love u so much and im just so angry but i still fucking love u. But no that will never happen,u will just be angry at me and ignore me. I have to be the understanding one right? Well im getting kinda tired of that. So do whatever the fuck u want. But u if u wanna leave u better not regret it.