#I wanna watch the fast cars go vroom

[vroom-vrooms]

My roommate: hey it’s late, aren’t you going to bed?

Me, waiting for the race to start: oh no I’m staying up late tonight

My roommate: ah, to study because you have a test on Monday, right?

Me:

My roommate: to study because you have a test on Monday… right???

Me:

My roommate: TO STUDY, RIGHT??

[annewithaneofthegreengable]

Could you do fic for Toto Wolff with wife reader? He is still doing his world even when he had the days off, so she came with a plan in mind. She presses kisses anywhere available; arms, nose, knees, ears, knuckles, temple, just anywhere to distract him enough to stop. Eventually their son, Jack does the same to him. Just something fluff and romantic. Thanks!! :)))

So yeah I know it's a bit late but enjoy it and PLEASE PLEASE SEND ME SOME OF YOUR BRILLIANT IDEAS ALSO!!! I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR IT.

This year’s race schedule marked the 8th race in Monaco with just a decent result for the Mercedes Team with just P5 for George and P7 for Lewis. Despite Lewis adding up with one more bonus point for the fastest lap, the team still ended in fourth place, with no hope really for the world’s constructor running. The lack of progress and consistently poor results were taking a toll on their morale. Toto Wolff, the team principal, knew that something needed to change. As he sat in his office, pondering the team's predicament, there was a gentle knock at the door. Y/n, Toto's wife, entered the room with a concerned expression. She had noticed the stress and strain on Toto's face and wanted to offer her support. "How are you holding up?" she asked softly.

Toto sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's been tough," he admitted with a weary voice. "We just can't seem to get a breakthrough this season. The car's not performing. It feels like we're failing further after every race. And as the team principal, I just don’t want to let everyone down. Especially Lewis I owe him his 8th title. I just wish there was something I could do to turn this thing around.” Y/n stepped closer, her heart aching for the man she loved. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, offering a small gesture of support.

"It won't be like this forever," she said softly. "You'll figure it out. You always do, remember when I told you not to set the hot lap in Nurburgring in a Porsche and you still did anyway. You are just as stubborn as that because the Toto Wolff I know will not back down from any challenge even the stupidest one. So go team Wolff!”

Toto glanced up at his wife, her words a lifeline in the storm of challenges that faced him. He could see the earnestness in her eyes, the unwavering belief in him. It stirred something deep within him, a flicker of determination. He reached out, taking her hand in his, and squeezed it gently. "Thank you for believing in me, Schatz. And well I did pay a hefty price for the accident that day on the Nordschleife track.”

Y/n smiled softly, her eyes filled with love and admiration for her husband's resilience. She knew the heavy price Toto had paid for his passion for racing, the sacrifices he had made, both physically and emotionally.

"I'll always believe in you, no matter what," she assured him once more. "And I know you'll rise back up from this. You've got the strength and the determination to do it." She leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her husband's forehead, all the way down to his arms, nose, knees, ears, knuckles, and temple - anywhere she could reach. Much to her delight, Toto couldn't resist her affection and stopped working to enjoy the moment. Just at that moment, their son Jack ran into the room, stomped his little feet and demanded that he could join his mom and dad. He planted a sloppy kiss on Toto's cheek, making him laugh and forget about work completely. Toto's heart swelled with love and contentment. He leaned back in his chair, gathering his family in his arms, and took a moment to savour the precious moment. "Thank you," he whispered, feeling grateful for their love and the reminder that there was more to life than just work. Jack snuggled against him and smiled. "We missed you, papa," he said softly. “Can we watch a movie together?” He asked with excitement, a twinkle in his eyes. 

“Of course, Jack.”

“Can we watch Cars? I wanna see Mcqueen go vroom vroom so fast like Uncle Lewis.”

“Sure, baby. Now how about we race downstairs?” Y/n said.

Together, they raced down the stairs, Toto and Jack's laughs echoing through the room. At the bottom of the stairs, Jack cheered as he reached the finish line first. "I win!" he exclaimed, panting and out of breath but smiling widely.

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and others

y/n_user Movie night in the house 🤭 Guess what are we watching tonight?

user_1 Jack!!!

user_14 next movie for movie night! please!!

mercedesamgf1 send us the invitation also Mr Big Boss, Baby Boss and Mrs Tiny boss

user_2 the Wolff fam

lewishamilton Roscoe miss u Jack

y/n_user we miss Roscoe too lewishamilton playdate tmr? y/n_user Jack said yessss charles_leclerc Leo wanna join too y/n_user pls join us tmr

user_6 playdate with the wolffs, hamiltons and leclercs said no more

georgerussell63 can I join 🥺

mercedesamgf1 and us too? scuderiaferrari us three redbullracing us four astonmartinf1 us five mclaren us six y/n_user how about a playdate at the paddock 🥳

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

ii. do you really wanna know where i was april 29th?

— the one where you and him end up in the same room at the same time.

warnings: kind reminder that the pictures are just used for entertainment and don’t describe what the main character is supposed to look like also, there are some f1 inaccuracies but this is fiction so please ignore them thank you❤️ 2k words.

masterlist ✢ next

Liked by scuderiaferrari, vicpresley, tchalamet and others.

View comments

softyn it’s so good to see you having fun!!

myaid4nfeels so you’re already on the hunt huh

poppyseeds mother!! suddenly I love fast cars vroom vroom

greenleafss @/priscibby you were right she def has another man

frenziekenzie okay cool but I need you to talk about Aidan I’m a child of divorce.

Baku, Azerbaijan, April 29th.

HERE, here is where you end up when you let your agent say yes to every commercial offer you get no matter how random it is. And one day late, to top things off. Many people are angry at you, and you’re getting an earful as soon as the cameras shut down, but for now all you can do is laugh at terrible jokes, like the lady that you are, pretend to sip the frankly horrendous energy drink your manager keeps handing you, and appear very sorry about your previous absence.

You’re not even supposed to be here, you had no idea signing the stupid contract with Red Elix forced you to come to every sponsor event that they had. Having become the most recent sponsor for Ferrari’s F1 team, the men in charge couldn’t wait to show you off, their most important ambassador. Or their shiniest toy, it's all semantics.

"Come on, the shootout is about to start!" the old man whose name you have already forgotten holds your hand, leading you away from the refreshments table where you're looking something drinkable, preferably with alcohol, although it wouldn't help your jetlag.

You spent the eighteen hours of your flight on a F1 binge, because you weren't about to make a fool of yourself by showing up to a Grand Prix having zero idea of whatever was going on other than the cars going really, really fast. Some things are still mildly confusing, like the point distribution and why on Earth there is a sprint race and then a 'real' race the next day. But you're proud of your ability to retain information, you're an actress after all, there are a hundred scripts loaded into your brain.

"We root for the red cars, sweetheart," the man is still holding your hand and it's starting to feel gross, it's papery and sweaty at the same time. It's like he's talking to a child, ennunciating slowly and clearly, and then pointing at the screen where they take turns to focus on drivers sixteen and fifty-five.

Unsurprisingly, you'd figured as much, you're in the Ferrari Suite, everything is fucking red. A wave of annoyance runs through you, but you're used to men being patronizing, so you just smile and take the chance to slip your hand out of his grip, covering your face coyly. "I'll keep an eye on them!"

He turns around after laughing at your 'cuteness' or stupidity, really. Men love laughing at women, especially those whom they deem to be dumb.

"Could you please, please, get me some water? Not Elix, not anything else, water." you whisper to your manager just as he's made himself comfortable to watch the Sprint Shootout. He sends a resented look your way but still gets up from his chair to get you a closed bottle of water. Walter is being forced to be here as much as you are, at least he doesn’t have a contract that keeps him tied to Elix for every race.

The man from before is talking to you again and you try your best not to shut down and tune him out. He's explaining the rules of the Shootout but you couldn't care less about anything that leaves his mouth, also the cars are already coming out of their respective garage and there's so much noise it doesn't even matter how much he adjusts the volume of his voice.

Charles and Carlos, you have learned their names after an hour of having their enlarged picture stare at you from the main wall of the Suite. Charles ended up in first place and he's starting P1 later and tomorrow. Nice. Carlos is struggling a little, apparently, but seeing how fast these silly cars go and how tight the curves are, you can't blame him.

As soon as the Shootout is over, there is chaos again. You are dragged here, there and back, forced to smile for pictures with strangers who have the audacity to squeeze your waist and whisper in your ear, well, that's definitely worse than having to drink the Red Elix.

There is another rush as both drivers come back for a debrief and to get some rest before the Sprint, they're a blur surrounded by people in red uniforms blabbering instructions, and the shouts of 'good job!' and 'i love you!' that have followed them from the paddock.

"Mr. Schafer…” a boney boy with glasses leans down to talk to the guy that has branded you as his for the evening.

Schafer gives him a dirty look, annoyed by the interruption of his incredibly boring story about how he is a self-made multimillionaire. "What?" he barks.

"They- they said not now," the boy whispers shyly, no, not shyly, scared. "They said the drivers need to focus, but maybe later after the Sprint..."

A can of Elix flies in the air and you look in poorly disguised repugnance at the way it puddles close to your Air Force sneakers. The boy has taken a step back, now visibly shaking and your disgust is redirected to the man that just yelled at him and is throwing a temper tantrum.

"Not right now?!" he continues, face turning purple. "What if I had said 'not right now' when they asked me to give them MY money, huh?!"

"T-they said—"

"I don't care what they said! It's your job to get the pictures of them with the Elix! You're useless!"

Other people are staring at you, including most of the Ferrari Hospitality Team, and it makes you feel embarassed that they have most likely pegged you as similar to Schafer from how inseparable you are.

"Why don't we calm down a bit?" you soothe, forcing yourself to run your hand down his arm and back up. "You know how these pilots are, divas at best."

You don't know either of the guys who have disappeared inside the Suite, and by the looks the Hospitality Team gives you once again, you're certain you are completely mistaken. But you don't care, because the media boy is giving you a grateful look, and although he's still visibly fuming, the money guy has stopped yelling.

"You're right sweetheart," Schafer says patting your hand and taking it back to his arm. "Later, then." he warns the media boy, who takes that as his sign to run away.

────────────

Ferrari is full of hope and celebrations when the Sprint ends, you're once again paraded around but at least it's way more fun this time. You get to be near the podium and witness first-hand whatever rituals they play out. The fun is short-lived though, when you are warned by your manager that Mr. Schafer wants to take you out to dinner tonight, you don't have or want to know more, you know what he wants to achieve.

You walk back to the Suite with your manager, trying your best to avoid Mr. Schafer, who is frantically looking for you. He's missing his arm-candy badly.

Your jetlag has worsened, and you have a terrible headache, plus however much Elix you've drank despite taking the smallest sips possible, is making you nauseous.

You need five minutes to yourself. It's all you ask for. You haven't even been able to get a break in the fucking bathroom. Your manager is constantly yelling, already getting his own frustration out on you for whatever shit the Elix team gave him after you missed the first day of the Grand Prix.

In the midst of the chaos, you slip away. Eager to find a place to breathe and enjoy your own company. Or dissociate, again, semantics.

You find yourself in front of two doors with the numbers sixteen and fifty-five identifying whom they each belong to. They are empty, and you know it because both drivers are still in their debriefing/celebration/whatever else they could be doing that once again, won't allow them to pose for the Elix post-race photos.

You are at a crossroads, you are well aware this are private rooms for a reason, but you also know there isn't anywhere more deserted than these rooms.

Sixteen or fifty-five? Who is least likely to freak out if by any miscalculation on your part they found you here? Well, one of them ended the day on a happier note than the other, so...

You open the door marked with the number sixteen and sigh in relief. Five minutes and that's it. Then you can go back and play dumb to Schafer and beg for you manager to finally take you to the hotel.

There is a miscalculation on your part, and five minutes later, just as you're about to get up and leave (after stealing one bottle of water and a granola bar from Charles' stash) the door opens again, revealing the disheveled driver, holding a small plaque with a number two in one hand and a Pirelli cap in the other. He is far more handsome up close, there isn't a screen or photograph that does him justice, and you've seen plenty of both during the day.

"You are not supposed to be here," is the first thing he says, frowning.

"I know," you feign nonchalance as best you can, although you are embarrassed. "I was leaving."

Charles still wears that confused expression on his face, and it makes you glad it hasn't changed to anger. "What were you doing here?"

"Stealing your refreshments," which is not a lie, as you're still holding both things in one hand, not without struggle.

He's not freaking out, which comes across as strange. How many times has he come to his private room to find a random girl waiting for him?

"Should have taken the Elix," he mutters, throwing the Pirelli cap in the empty part of the couch you had been occupying minutes before. "That thing is disgusting."

You can't help but chortle a laugh. "Glad you think so,"

Awkward silence finally falls in the room, and you know that's the signal for you to exit. You're still invading his privacy and while you're glad he really didn't seem to mind, you don't know how much longer he will be so patient.

"Don't tell anyone you were here, okay?" he calls after you, "Someone might get fired."

You nod but he doesn't see you, already minding his own business in his little private bubble. You're jealous to leave him in a space all to himself.

────────────

It takes an hour to get both drivers and you in the same room for the pictures Elix is dying to get. This is far from ridiculous, but you have a contract and so does Ferrari, so you don't have much of a choice.

"Are you feeling better?" Charles asks, and you think he's talking to his team mate until he clears his throat right in front of you. He's holding the Red Elix, just like the one in his private room.

"Who? Me?" you ask stupidly, and then you take a sip of the Gold Elix in your hand, it's so much worse than the Red.

"Yes, you."

"I'm okay, why?" you're suddenly defensive, this is the second time this guy sees you and he's acting all weird.

"Good," he says and also drinks from his Elix, failing to hide his distaste with a purse from his lips. "This thing is really gross," he whispers, and this time his teammate does join the conversation only by laughing.

Both must be exhausted and yet they're trying to put on a good show for the sponsors.

"I'm sorry about intruding in your room," you lower your voice, squeezing your drink.

Charles shrugs lightly, and drinks again, this time without grimacing. "Sometimes I need five minutes too."

You smile, and it's the first sincere smile you've shown all day.

"My mum likes your movies," he says casually, as someone yells that you need 'just one more picture, please!'

You dread the part where he says something along the lines of "Supercut is the best!" but instead, after he stops the automatic motion of taking the red can to his lips, he adds: "I like Loneliness, it's so depressing."

And you throw your head back to laugh.

─── team principal radio: ❝hello! thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed! i would appreciate to know your thoughts too! ♡❞

[watercolor-hearts]

Hi! I have a lestappen prompt if you are still taking prompts!

Prompt: Charles and Max are secretly married but they have a kid or kids together. They must keep their relationship a secret at races since they are still drivers for f1 but they must also juggle being parents.

I hope you have some fun with this prompt! I will love to see where you take it cause I think it can either be fluff or angst, or both!

When I first read this prompt, I was like 'ah, easy one, I'll write something for it in a few hours'. Nope, my guy, nope. I had to rewrite it like three times because when I thought I finally had a good idea, it turned out it wasn't good. So yeah, it was quite of a challenge. 😃

Max/Charles • 625 words • emotional hurt/comfort • parents Lestappen • mentions of homophobia • hugs • Ao3 link

-

“Daddy, Papa, when can I go to a race with you?” Julia asked on a calm Sunday afternoon when she was coloring in a coloring book while Max and Charles drank their coffee on the couch. Charles looked at Max, opening his mouth to answer Julia's question but Max was faster. 

“Come here, baby, we have to talk about something.”

“I wanna go to a race with you,” the little girl said while climbing onto Max's lap, burying her face into his dad's chest. 

“I know, princess,” Max nodded, kissing his daughter's hair and hugging her. “But... It is not that easy.”

“Why?”

Max looked at Charles and then at their daughter again.

“Because there are some... Not so nice people there. Some people do not like it when two boys love each other and have kids together. And we do not want these people to hurt you, to tell you mean things,” Max tried to explain, “In this world, in the racing world there are a lot of people who do not like men like your papa and me. Because we like men, we are in love with each other and we are married. We have to keep it a secret.”

“B—But boys can love each other too,” the little girl mumbled to Max's chest. “It's not fair not to let them love each other.”

Charles smiled and leaned to Max, resting his head on his husband's shoulder. 

“They can, but... There is a big chance Daddy would lose his job if a boss in his team found out he was gay. That boss does not like gay people. So daddy has to keep it a secret.”

“Christian doesn't like Daddy?” Julia asked. Max shook his head. 

“No, not Christian. Christian likes Daddy, you know him, he likes you too. Another boss, Helmut, does not like people like me, like us with your Papa.”

“I don't want to be a secret, Daddy,” the little girl said, lips pouty. “I wanna go there with you. I wanna see vroom vroom cars go very fast and Daddy or Papa win.”

Max tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He never wanted his daughter to be a secret, he never wanted to pretend like he was single and straight. He never wanted to lie and shield his daughter from the real world, from making friends, going to races, but when Helmut saw how Max had behaved with Daniel when they were teammates, he threatened him that he would make Max lose his seat if it turned out he was gay, because "they don't need pussys in real men's sport". His dad wasn't much better, either. 

“Come here, baby,” Charles told Julia when he saw Max taking a deep breath and trying not to cry, “Give Daddy a bit of space.”

“Julia hurt Daddy?” she asked, lips trembling as he climbed to Charles' lap. 

“No, baby, you didn't hurt Daddy, don't cry,” Charles said, hugging the little girl to his chest, trying to soothe her. 

“It's okay, princess,” Max whispered after wiping his tears away. “Daddy will solve this, I promise.”

“Do you wanna watch a race on the tv?” Charles asked. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Julia said, nodding intensely, eyes sparkling, and a huge grin on her face. She loves watching races, and she already knows a lot of radio and commentator lines. 

“Which one would you like?”

“Your first win, Papa!”

“Good choice,” Max smiled as Charles started looking for that race on the F1 TV app. “You have good taste, princess.”

“When Papa wins next I wanna be there and cheer for him.”

You'll be there, baby. After I win this championship, you won't be a secret anymore. Our family won't be a secret anymore. 

[isabellavolere]

Transformers Prime—Part 5: Victories Short-Lived

Masterlist

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Vroom, vrooom! You groggily wake up, lifting an eye as you hear a car revving its engine. You roll onto your side and try to go back to sleep when you hear the car rev again, this time a little bit louder than before. 

What idiot’s revving his car engine on a Saturday morning? What a jerk. 

All of a sudden you bolt upright as you realize the car engine belongs to Cliffjumper. Getting out of bed, you jog to the front of your house and open the front door, leaning out of the door frame. To your astonishment, Cliffjumper is parked in the driveway, headlights flashing in greeting.

“Are you crazy?” You ask in a hushed tone. “What are you doing parked in the driveway? If my parents catch you they will go crazy!”

“Good morning to you too,” replies Cliffjumper sarcastically. “Don’t worry, your parents left about an hour ago.”

You frown and step outside, closing the door behind you. Walking over to Cliffjumper you say

“Well I’m glad your loud engine didn’t wake them up like it did for me. Do you know where they went?”

“No idea. Besides, I was getting bored sitting in your driveway so I decided to wake you up. We can head to the base and watch cartoons,” says Cliffjumper excitedly. “Wait, do you even like cartoons?” He asks.

You shrug one of your shoulders and reply, “I don’t mind them.”

“Great, let's get going. But maybe change out of your pajamas first.”

You look down at your black tank top and knee length plaid shorts and grin sheepishly. 

“Yeah maybe. Be back in a flash!” You say and race back inside. 

You put on a vintage Star Wars shirt and denim jean shorts, brush through your hair, put it in a ponytail, and then tie your f/c bandana around your forehead. 

After a quick once over in the mirror you slip on some shoes and walk back outside. As you walk back to Cliffjumper you can hear the hum of a motor and are surprised to see Arcee pull into your driveway with Jack straddled on top. He’s wearing a white motorcycle helmet with a tinted visor that he quickly takes off as he dismounts, tucking it away before walking over to you.

“Good morning Jack. What brings you two here?” You ask, curious as to how he and Arcee found your house.

“Morning y/n. Me and Arcee were just out for a little drive and uh, thought we’d see if you guys were still here,” he said, glancing back to Arcee.

“Out for a little drive huh?” Asks Cliffjumper.

“We were just heading back to base,” says Arcee.

“Wanna race?” You turn to Jack and say mischievously.

“Oh, bring it!” Says Jack, turning to grab his helmet.

You walk over to Cliffjumper and hop in the passenger seat. 

“A race, huh?” Cliffjumper asks as he backs out of the driveway.

“Oh come on, a 1969 Dodge Challenger like you can go from 0-60 in 5.2 seconds, you can totally smoke them!” You say enthusiastically.

“Well I know that,” Cliffjumper laughs as he lines up with your house’s rusty mailbox.  

Arcee and Jack pull up to the right of you and you roll down the window.

“Ready to lose, Jack?” You ask in a teasing voice.

“You wish,” comes Jack's reply, muffled slightly by the helmet. 

You smirk and roll up the window, getting ready for the race.

“On your marks, get set, GO!” Yells Arcee, and both her and Cliffjumper shoot off, wheels screeching. 

The force of the acceleration pushes you backward and you whoop loudly as cacti and other landscape rushes past you. Arcee was fast, you had to give her that, but as you watch, Cliffjumper slowly begins creeping up on her. You lean over and watch the line on the speedometer go up and up, marking 60 mph, 70, 80. You were going faster and faster and soon enough, you were in the lead. The speedometer now marks 92 mph and the desert is only a blur as you hurtle down the road. Looking in the rear view mirror, you grin as you see Arcee and Jack a few inches behind Cliffjumpers’ bumper.

“You know, for a two wheeler Arcees’ not doing too bad, huh?” Says Cliffjumper, and you can practically see the smirk on his face.

“Yeah, but if she really wasn’t doing too bad she wouldn’t be behind us,” you tease.

Cliffjumper lets out a boisterous laugh and says “That’s true. How fast are we going anyway?”

You look down at the speedometer and reply “Cruising at 107. Not bad for a muscle car!” 

Cliffjumper laughs again and says “No, not bad at all.”

A large mesa towers over the car and you recognize it as the one the Autobot base is hidden in. Cliffjumper slows down and drives through the tunnel. The thrill of the race catches up to you and you can’t help but beam as Cliffjumper parks and lets you out, transforming after you’re out. You walk over to Jack and was about to tease him about losing when Optimus walks over and says “Autobots, prepare to…” but doesn’t finish the sentence. 

“Roll out?” Guesses Arcee.

“Remain here. Ratchet, Cliffjumper, you’ll come with me. Arcee, we’ll be outside of communication range for some time so I’m putting you in charge,” says Optimus.

“Aww,” you whine quietly, frowning up at Cliffjumper. “Our victory is cut short and Optimus snatches you for a mission. Not fair.”

“I know, right? Now we can’t rub our success in their faces.”

You snicker as he grins and winks at you.

“Tell you what kid, when I get back we can do a victory lap around the base, sound good?”

“Deal. Make it a quick mission, ok Cliff?” You smile.

Cliffjumper smiles slightly but drops when Optimus calls for him.

“I’ll see what I can do, y/n.” 

He walks over to Optimus and looks back at you once more before transforming and driving through the groundbridge behind Optimus. A moment of silence fills the base as the last lights of the portal dim.

“Ok, so, what’s on the activities list?” Asks Jack, turning to Arcee.

“I’m going on patrol,” she says in a bored voice.

“But Optimus told us to stay,” Bulkhead says. 

“When you’re in charge you can call the shots,” replies Arcee. “Bee, with me! Bulkhead, you’re in charge.”

With that, Arcee and Bumblebee transform and race down the tunnel, leaving you, Jack, Miko, Raf, and Bulkhead.

“And then there were five,” you mutter under your breath.

“So, um, what’s on the activity list?” Bulkhead asks. 

“How about band practice?” Miko offers and you turn to her, watching as she begins hooking up a black electric guitar to a Fender amplifier. 

“But we’re not a band,” points out Raf.

“Why so antisocial? Come on Raf, do you play anything?” She asks enthusiastically.

“Um, keyboard?” He says, lifting up his computer.

“Laptops and samples, good! Jack?” She turns a hopeful face to Jack. 

Rubbing a hand on his neck, Jack says “I, uh, sometimes mess around on the harmonica.”

“Do I look like I do country?” Asks Miko in a condescending tone. Almost desperately, Miko looks to you. “Please tell me you play something. Guitar, drums, anything?!”

“Weelll, I-I play the flute. And the violin…aand the piano. A bit.” You give her a small smile, somewhere between a grin and a grimace. 

Miko signs dramatically and raises her arms. “Well maybe you and Jack can start a bluegrass band. For now, just cover yourselves in fake blood and jump around screaming.” 

You share a look with Jack and shrug. Just then Miko starts strumming her guitar and a loud song blares out of her amplifier. You cover your ears, mirroring the other kids, but it does no good. Over the music you notice green flashing lights coming from the computer monitors, signaling  an alarm going off. Bulkhead seems to notice the alarm too because he waves at Miko to stop. 

“Oh come on!” She whines. “You can’t handle raw power?”

“Proximity sensor. Quick, hide!” Exclaims Bulkhead.

You rush to the same binding spot under the railing as the day before, and just in time, because Agent Fowler wastes no time in walking briskly into the base. Just as he walks in, you notice Mikos’ amplifier is still hooked up to her guitar, which she is still holding. 

Crap! I sure hope Agent Fowler doesn’t notice the wire coming from behind Bulkhead. What’s he yelling at Bulkhead about? Something in Nebraska? Maybe he’s too busy with Bulkhead to notice…yeah probably not.

“So,” Agent Fowler concludes. “You tell Prime that-since when are you bots electric?”

Dang it. 

“Uhh…” Bulkhead looks from you and back to Agent Fowler.

“What do we do?” You whisper shout to Jack, who grimaces and slides past you.

“Hey. How are you doing?” He asks. 

You roll your eyes, but since you have no other idea, follow the other kids. To say Agent Fowler looked bothered by the fact that four teenagers just stepped in front of him was an understatement.

“Contact with civilians! Team Prime has really gone off the rules with this one. No, don't tell me, you're running a daycare!” 

Bulkhead looks flustered and if bots could blush, you were sure he would be bright red. But with quick thinking, Jack makes up an excuse.

“We’re interns,” he begins.

“Student interns!” Raf adds.

“Earning extra credit in auto…” Jack trails off, unsure of what to say.

“Mechanics.” 

“Robotics.” 

You look to Miko and then quickly back to the agent, trying to recover the mistake.

“It’s both, cause you know, they’re cars and robots so we came here to study them for extra credit…so um…”

The look Agent Fowler sends you tints your cheeks pink, but you firmly meet his stare.

“Ok, let’s move. I’m taking you all into federal custody for your own protection,” he says, walking down the stairs towards you. 

Bulkhead steps in front of you and the other kids, firmly saying “We are protecting them.”

“Is that so? Well, maybe you can explain that to my superiors at the Pentagon,” says Agent Fowler, angrily punching numbers on a telephone hanging by the stairs. 

“Don’t use that phone! It’s…out of order,” says Bulkhead quickly, crushing the phone with one of his large fingers. 

Agent Fowler looks up at Bulkhead, and you can feel the anger practically radiating off of him.

“This isn’t over, Bigfoot! Not by a long shot!”

Agent Fowler turns around and stomps up the stairs. He stalks into the elevator, turns around, and jabs the button. The elevator door closes with a dull thud, and after a moment of silence you let out a breath, blowing stray hairs out of your face.

“Well, I don’t think that could have gone any worse,” you say.

Jack lets out a nervous laugh and Miko turns to you saying, “Did you see the look on his face when Bulkhead crushed that phone? That was awesome!” 

“I have a feeling that’s not the last we’re hearing of Agent Fowler,” Raf says.

“Maybe not, but for now we don’t have to worry about him,” you say, climbing up the rusty yellow ladder that leads to the large computers. 

You sit down in one of the chairs, replaying the last few moments in your head.

Agent Fowler backed off pretty quickly to Bulkhead. For a guy who puts on this ‘tough guy’ act, he doesn’t seem to want to pick a fight with the Autobots. Interesting.

You log on to one of the human sized computers, hoping to see where Cliffjumper, Optimus, and Ratchet are. You turn around when you hear the other kids climb the stairs and head to the tv, Miko tuning it on and lazily flipping through stations until she finds an interesting one. You sign and shake your head as Miko and Jack begin to argue about the station, turning back to the computer. 

All is quiet for a few moments before an alarm blares through the base and the computer screen flashes brightly in your face. You cover your ears with your hand, but it does little to muffle the sound. 

“My ears!” Whines Raf, or at least that’s what you think he said.

“It’s an S.O.S. From Fowler,” comments Bulkhead, pulling up the alarm on one of the computer monitors. 

“Did you trace it?” Asks Raf.

“Hm, location scan incomplete. Oh well,” says Bulkhead, shrugging. 

“Oh well?” Asks Jack incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Fowler’s a jerk!” Retorts Bulkhead.

“Whether you like the guy or not, the Decepticons may have him!”

“Jack’s right,” you say, frowning. “And Agent Fowler knows the location of the Autobot base. If the Decepticons interrogate him, I bet they’ll make him talk.”

“Yeah, y/n has a point. I mean, didn’t we all see how fast Fowler backs down from a bot? The Decepticons will totally make him squeal!” Adds Miko.

“But we lost the transmission. Fowler could be anywhere,” says Bulkhead. 

“Maybe I can narrow it down.” Says Raf as he sits in a chair next to you.

He grabs a laptop from his backpack and types furiously while explaining, “About five years ago, the government started microchipping their agents. You know, like owners do with pets.”

“Raf’s right. That’s what they had to do to my dad when he joined the army,” you say, watching Raf’s laptop screen. Jack and Miko look from you to Raf with confused and slightly concerned expressions on their faces.

“What? I saw it on tv,” defends Raf. “Anyway, if I can hack into the Fed’s mainframe, maybe I can pinpoint Fowler's coordinates.”

“You know how to hack? But you’re like, two years old!” Exclaims Miko.

“Twelve,” corrects Raf. “And a quarter!”

“Hmm, if you work on that, I can try logging into the mainframe,” you say, sitting at one of the computers. “If I can find the transmission from Agent Fowler, I can access the last coordinates transmitted from his helicopter.”

“You too?” Asks Miko, throwing up her hands. 

Raf looks up at you and you meet his gaze, intrigue flicking through his eyes before you turn back to your work. 

A few minutes later you pump your fist in the air triumphantly as you call out “I got it! Latitude 39.5 degrees north, 116.9 degrees west.”

“Ok, wait here,” says Bulkhead, already typing the coordinates into the groundbridge. 

“Aww, don’t break up the band!” Wines Miko. 

“Uh, Jack, you’re in charge,” says Bulkhead, ignoring Miko. 

He rushes through the groundbridge, leaving us alone. 

“And then there were four,” you say dully.

“I guess we have the run of the place,” shrugs Jack.

“I guess so. Hey Miko, do you-Miko? Miko!” 

You scan the base but don’t see her. Looking again, your eyes lock with Jack and you can see worry flash across his face.

“What should we do?” He asks.

“Bulkhead may have not even realized she’d follow him!” Raf exclaims.

“Miko hasn’t seen the cons’ in action like we have. She has no idea,” says Jack.

Your head swims with visions of the cons doing all sorts of horrible things to Miko.

Oh, foolish girl! Why did you follow Bulkhead? He’s supposed to be your guardian but he can’t protect you from everything!

“Are the coordinates still locked into the groundbridge?” Asks Raf.

“Yep, still there,” you nod.

“Y/n, can you turn the ground bridge on from the computer?” Jack asks.

“Uh, yeah I think so,” you say, and start pulling up the ground bridge access.

“Good, fire it up. You’re in charge,” he says as he steps down the ladder.

Making up your mind, you take a breath and say “uh, now you’re in charge,” as you head towards the ladder.

“In charge of who?” You hear Raf say as you slide down to the ground floor.

“Jack, wait,” you say, running to Jack.

Jack stops and turns around, waiting for you to catch up with a silent question in his eyes. 

“What, you didn’t think I’d let you try and rescue Miko all alone did you? I’m coming with you,” you say, trying to sound more confident than you felt. 

He looks over at you and nods once, a fierce determination set in his eyes. You close your eyes and take a deep, steadying breath, readying yourself for the battle you felt was sure to come. You open them and look over to Jack, nodding your head once, to tell him you were ready. 

“Here goes nothing,” you say, stepping closer to the groundbridge.

“Jack, y/n, wait! I’m coming too,” says Raf, running next to you. 

You reach the groundbridge first with Jack and Raf following close behind you. You jump through the groundbridge, which feels like an assault on your senses. Bright purple and green lights swirl around you, which looks like the aurora borealis was turned into a portal. A loud sound somewhere between a whooshing and a buzzing can be heard, and when you jump out of the portal, what meets your eyes is worse than you could have imagined. You are in the middle of a wide rocky canyon, and what else is in the middle of the canyon but the freaking Decepticon warship! 

Oh. Not good.

With your gaze transfixed on the warship, flashbacks of the first time you saw the ship cross your mind. You don’t even register that a few Decepticons come out of the ship with their guns loaded and ready to fire until you hear Bulkhead and Miko scream your name, which snaps you out of your stupor. The Decepticons begin firing and you, Jack and Raf dodge the blasts. Raf starts walking backwards, but he loses his footing and falls over, curling into a ball to make himself as small as possible. Without thinking you launch yourself on top of Raf, shielding his body with yours. Hearing a honking noise, you look up to see Bulkhead in his alternate form pulling up next to you, doors opening so you, Raf, and Jack can jump in quickly. You dive through the passenger door and scoot over to the driver side of the car, Jack sitting next to you and Raf sitting in the backseat. 

After receiving our thanks, Bulkhead asks “What are you doing here?”

“We were worried about Miko!” Have you seen her?” Asks Jack.

“She’s in the backseat, Jack,” you say, looking through the rear view mirror and making eye contact with the girl. 

She gives you a guilty grin and you roll your eyes. After driving behind a big boulder Bulkhead stops and opens the doors.

“Everyone out! And this time, please wait here,” begs the green bot, driving away. 

He drives up a sort of ramp and starts climbing up the side of the canyon.

Ha like Miko’s going to do that. I bet she’s not even here.

You look around you and sure enough, Miko is nowhere to be seen. You sigh dramatically, like a tired parent, and scan the canyon for Miko. Not seeing her, you figure she’s probably still inside of Bulkhead. At least she has a better chance with Bulkhead then roaming around the canyon, being an easy target. 

“Wait, where’s Miko?” Asks Jack worriedly.

Took you long enough. Luckily I’m way ahead of you Jack.

“Probably up there with Bulkhead,” you say, scanning the canyon walls. “If I can only figure out a way to get up to the warship,” you mutter.

“What if a Decepticon took us up there?” Jack asks in a worried voice.

“Hmm, that might work if we can find one,” you say, still focused on the canyon walls.

“I think we just did,” says Raf.

You turn around and are face to face with two purple Decepticons.

Well, that’s not ideal.

Masterlist

<-Previous Part

Next Part->

[whisperwhajje]

Since ya wanna ramble… ramble away!!! I wanna know some silly head canons for the Celestials!!! :D

Since you ask for silly one! I got a couple. ;3

Since it’s are boi Syncopite got his adult form. That dude listens to a lot of old hip hop, rap, and R&B. Plus with his break dancing, Syncopite is unstoppable.

Vhamp puts wheels on their feet to make them go faster and Galvana likes to ride on them. All you hear in the background “vroom vroom!” and other car noises. Vhamp can go fast too. Watch out!

When Glaishur became an adult, they were not aware of their new strength. So when they went to play on their snowman. It got smashed, he was heartbroken. Rip snowman.

Hornacle not only fought a sea creature. Again. And lost. Again. She kept the creature as a pet now. ( I started to think that the squid on his back was the same creature that toke Hornacle’s leg from the past. )

When Scaratar became an adult finally, she was given mom role, as so as Loodvigg became an adult, he immediately took big brother role and Scaratar was relieved. Because it was a little stressful on her own with 11 babies.

[cappuccinopoweredsprite]

good DAY mr kubbo, i saw the ask game you reblogged and couldn't resist picking an atrocious amount of questions,, so here's the watered down selection:

21: Whats your least favorite movie?

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

25: What is your favorite food?

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

53: Is Christmas stressful?

89: Which are better black or green olives?

90: Can you knit or crochet?

98: Whats your favorite color?

why hello there mr. echho! thank you for your questions, ye shall receive answers:

21: Whats your least favorite movie?

While answering another question, I remembered a movie that would fit this best. That would be "Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw". At face value, it is an okay-at-best action movie with a shallow plot and massive explosions, the usual. But for a quote-on-quote "Fast & Furious" movie, the cars in there are like. Not that interesting. I could bore you with a detailed explanation but long story short they are mid compared to actual Fast & Furious movies. So it is not only mid as a movie but also fails in the one area that keeps me around the series (family, if you will) it claims to be a part of.

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

Ketchup most of the time, perhaps some good barbecue sauce if it is at hand.

25: What is your favorite food?

Very good question. Excelllent question even. I'm going to go with pasta with bits of meat and a good cheese sauce. but it's hard for me to pick a favourite since i'm really not a picky eater.

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

- Ford vs Ferrari/Le Mans '66 is the first one that comes to mind. It has fast cars that go vroom and it is centered around car racing and it is based on real events. what more could i want honestly.

- Nimona. Only came out (ha) recently but it's an instant fave of mine. Also the first song that plays during the credits, T-Rex by K.Flay? HEAT.

- Last but not least, the first three Fast & Furious movies (really all of them, but the 4th and onwards to a much lesser degree). Love might be a strong word here, but I can confidently say I enjoy either one, if borderline ironically. also my brain sees cool cars and is happy.

53: Is Christmas stressful?

I mean. A bit? Christmas is one of those times of the year when one has to organize a bunch of things, which inherently brings stress. Planning when to visit which relatives, tidying up the flat/apartment/house, present procurement, etc. etc.

89: Which are better black or green olives?

I don't eat olives usually, probably black tho. Google tells me green ones have a naturally bitter taste.

90: Can you knit or crochet?

NO but I would like to learn crocheting tho. You know, in the sense of "i wanna do this thing" *does not do that thing*

98: Whats your favorite color?

My standard fave would be a dark blue/navy blue but I've started to really like how dark green looks on many things.

Thanks for the ask! ✨

[blackradandmad]

why blippi is rotting yr children's brains

preface: i literally expect no one to read this. it is an essay length, strong opinion piece critiquing a niche youtube-based children's show that i don't expect most of y'all to even have knowledge of lol. but like, i promise that even if you know nothing about what i'm talking about, in my incredibly, super humble opinion, it's a good piece of writing and interesting nonetheless. anyway if you read this whole thing for some reason yr really hot and we should kiss.

i thoroughly vet everything my child watches before he watches it, episode by episode. and we rarely watch youtube for entertainment; we usually just look up educational videos when he has a question about something and wants more detail than i can provide him. and that's mainly because children's content on youtube is so fucking troubling and distressing. i don't judge parents who give their children a tablet at a restaurant at all bc i've been there and sometimes it's easier on everyone to just put on a video and avoid a giant scene, but i do judge parents who just leave their children alone with youtube kids on autoplay.

take stevin john, a literal millionaire who got famous from dressing up as a silly character called blippi and going on tours of places like aquariums, zoos, construction sites, etc and posting it on youtube. this has branched into a whole empire of blippi videos, hulu shows and specials, live shows and tours (that he outsources to another character actor), merchandise and so on. this 30-something year old man cites his main influence as being mr. rogers, but i question if he's ever even seen an episode of that program.

mr. rogers had no background in early childhood development or media production, but he revolutionized the world of children's media, because he respected his audience and didn't shy away from real world situations, all while creating a show with an enormous heart. mr. rogers begins his episodes by inviting the viewer in, literally changing his attire to be more comfortable, and talking about/doing things he genuinely cares about. whereas mr. rogers calmly and maturely addresses the viewer, blippi puts on a high pitched, contrived voice, interjecting every other sentence with a forced exclamation such as, "teehee! we're having so much fun!"

i don't find it a coincidence that john (blippi) is a veteran, either. his videos are completely devoid of the absurd, abstract, childlike thinking that makes children's media fun, creative, and entertaining. his thinking and process is methodical, devoid of emotion, and very superficial. this line of thinking clearly shows the kind of creative sterilization and emphasis on sameness and conformity instilled in the military. blippi simply observes things and interacts with them in a stale, matter-of-fact way. "this ball is purple! this ball is pink! anyway... what's over there? teehee! a car! vroom, vroom!" objects are colors, toy cars don't do anything but drive, curiosity is simply not encouraged.

he uses the "it's educational!" excuse to hide the fact that his show lacks everything that makes media a valuable resource for children to consume in the first place. further than identifying colors, numbers, and the occasional letter or shape, there is just this total lack of children's need for social and emotional development. when mr. rogers breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and let them know they're special, it feels authentic and natural, because we've spent the last half hour building whole worlds with diverse characters and unique stories in a pretend neighborhood, learning about and enjoying different musical instruments, being exposed to and making friends with (even if parasocially, it is still a real bond to children when done properly) children who are similar to us in character regardless of physical or environmental differences, feeding the fish, making art together, and so on. when blippi tells the viewer, "you are very special, and i enjoy spending time with you!" it falls completely flat and feels unearned, because the last half hour was spent running around a soft play center pointing at bright, colorful objects, visiting interesting locations like farms or fruit production factories while failing to acknowledge the humanity of the humans actually working there (everything is machine or product focused; the human workers are simply an extension of the machine), learning "fun facts" about elephants that just list attributes of elephants, not taking the opportunity to inform the viewers of elephants' intelligence, or diet, or matriarchal society. it is a loud, sensory overwhelming display of a man so disconnected from the social and emotional needs and desires of children that he assumes they're stupid, easily entertained idiots who only need some silly dances and fast-moving cartoon graphics to give their attention (meaning time and desire to purchase products meaning $$$). john clearly views his audience as a means to gaming the algorithm and ultimately a paycheck by the hollow way he addresses them.

the show is so narcissistic, so focused on all the fun blippi is supposedly having, but he lacks any of the character traits that make individual children's show hosts memorable, so much so that he was able to have someone else who doesn't even vaguely resemble him dress as blippi and impersonate him and host the show or appear at live shows, and it went unnoticed by most of his toddler and child audience. the show is so formulaic and the character of blippi is so unmemorable that instead of taking the blue's clues route of developing a story of the host leaving for college and his brother now stepping in, or making some sort of believable excuse for the change in actors, they can simply swap him out with some random guy and not acknowledge it at all. although a comedy show for older children, the amanda show in no way could or would try to replicate the show with the same name but swapping out amanda bynes with a random teenage girl who is clearly not amanda bynes. it's weird and nonsensical and shows that his character is so much of a farce put on for a paycheck that not even his dedicated audience is affected or even cares when he is replaced by a random, unknown person.

this is completely garbage content made by an opportunist with no experience with children who saw his nephew watching children's youtube content, took it at complete surface level and still hasn't realized that while children's content only looks and feels so easy, entertaining, and enriching because it is so hard to do well. even with outsourcing his music, that aspect of the show still sucks. famous and successful children's musician, raffi, is known for his song describing the life of a little white whale, called "baby beluga." it opens with a calm strumming of his guitar, followed by the lyrics, "baby beluga in the deep blue sea/swim so wild and you swim so free/heaven above/sea below/and a little white whale on the go." is it silly and kind of pointless? yes, but the point is that he is captivating children and showing them the fun of listening to music, dancing, singing, and appreciating art. the "excavator song" featured in an episode of blippi about construction vehicles opens with what sounds like a default garageband loop and the flatly sung lyrics, "i'm an excavator/i'm an excavator/hey dirt, see you later/i'm an excavator." i don't feel i have to meticulously analyze the aforementioned lyrics; the stark contrast should speak for itself.

i have a million more criticisms about both blippi specifically and youtube children's content as a whole, but this is already so long and i doubt many people will get this far anyway. it's an issue i was completely apathetic towards until i had my own child and had to wean him off these kinds of junk food shows because i realized the fast-paced visuals and bright colors and repetitive songs/lyrics were putting him in this spaced-out, fugue state, and he thought he could demand this show or that show whenever he wanted. the moment he started regularly yelling things like, "watch! cars!" or "no! click it!" i knew i had to be a lot more invested in the things he watched even if just for entertainment or as a soothing message. i showed him an episode of mr. rogers yesterday and feared it would be too slow to hold his attention, but he was mesmerized, greeting and interacting with mr. rogers verbally, asking me, "what's that?" to different objects on the screen. since purging this low-brow children's entertainment, he has had a noticeable increase in attention span and concentration, can focus on a task for longer amounts of times, is more likely to "read"/look through books without me initiating it, and doesn't throw a fit when the tv/my laptop is off.

i just know that for me, growing up with so much unsupervised internet access definitely led me to real-world pain and consequences, and it seems like now children are born with an iphone as an extension of their arm. if my child is going to be consuming videos, i'm definitely supervising every second and am going to be highly critical of the videos and the credentials (or lack thereof) of the creators and team behind it. but i also know, from pure observation admittedly, that parents letting youtube kids autoplay parent their children for hours at a time is not an uncommon occurrence. and it worries me that a generation of children are being raised on videos that rely on being as loud and bright and superficially enjoyable as possible. what's the use of a child knowing their colors and alphabet if they don't know how to treat people with kindness and empathy and respect? there is something wrong for a children's show host to plug the spelling of his name at the end of his videos ("well, that's the end of this video. but if you wanna watch more of my videos, just type in my name! can you spell my name with me? b-l-i-p-p-i!") after essentially rotting his audiences' brains for a half hour. there's something so insidious about the prioritization of naming different parts of construction vehicles over honest depictions of and conversations about dealing with feelings, or why someone with autism may act differently than you, or what to do when you feel lonely, or ways to make art and express yrself creatively. also, not to mention the blatant police propaganda and outright worship is seriously jarring; as a black mother to a visibly non-white child, i cannot sit there and watch blippi show kids how to be a bootlicker for the shittiest profession on earth, but that could be a whole essay in and of itself.

anyway, thanks for reading, if yr looking for quality children's content, i recommend, in no specific order: mr. rogers, sesame street, the electric company, molly of denali, daniel tiger, bluey!, blue's clues, the odd squad, word party, trash truck, puffin rock, uhh... that's definitely not an extensive list but that's just off the dome!!! ok bye y'all <333

[erixyin]

MLQC Boys as somethings I’ve said to my boyfriend:

Gavin:

“If i commit murder would you rat me out or join me and be my partner in crime?” “... yes”

*falls off the bed* “this is ILLEGAL!”

*gets stuck in a video game* “i dont need help!” *5 minutes later* “i need help!”

“I love you but could you not” [in reference to him changing while im trying to write an essay]

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN CRIMINOLOGY ISNT THE STUDY OF HOW TO BE A CRIMINAL”

*everytime he starts the car* “eheheh vroom vroom”

“SIR I AM CALLING THE POLICE” “you’re the one under arrest”

“What do you mean i cant have chicken nugs for tea again?”

*him walking in and seeing me wearing his hoodie. Looks away and blushes*

“Dry my hair wind!” “The wind accepts his fate”

“Gimme hugs gimme hugs gimme hugs *hugs* yes sweaty hugs”

“Do you think I’d be a good police officer?” “No”

“Im going to the shops!” “You’re wearing just my hoodie and tshirt” “I’m still going to the shops!”

“So then i realised i couldnt go to the GP- OMG DOGGY DOGGY DOGGY DOGGY WHAT A GOOD BOI” [the doggo in question is across the very busy road and is wearing a coat <3]

*gives me head pats* “am cute”

“We could illegally watch the movie...?” “YOU WOULDN’T STEAL A CAR”

Kiro:

*after a lengthy discussion about how i shouldn’t buy it” “ok but hear me out...it has ears”

“I bought 6 packets of laces” “why?” “Because I’ll eat 3 packets by myself”

*going to mcdonalds* “NUGS NUGS NUGS NUGS NUGS NUGS NUGS”

*both of us singing pitch perfect word for word*

🎶 “why can i not spell this word, spell this word, pull this word. Why can i not spell this word FOR AN ENTIRE GODDAMN HOUR” 🎵

“My abs are underneath a layer of squish for warmth through winter” “same!”

“Pay attention to me ;-;” “but but but” “put the doggo down”

“Am burrito” *is a burrtoed into my blanket*

*makes cat hiss noies when trying to steal my nugs* “a violent sushi roll”

*after trying to remember my password for Moshi monsters* “I DID IT IM A HACKER”

*bf does a puzzle that ive been stuck on for 20 minutes* “JESUS CHRIST ITS JASON BOURNE”

*me booping his arms and chest* “squishy and muscle. Squishy and muscle. Squishy and muscle...”

*ordering a takeaway* “LORD AM ABOUT TO BE CHONCCY”

Victor:

“Work is difficult and life is hard” “ill give you a kiss if you finish a paragraph?” “WAIT TEN MINUTES”

“I need moral support for this essay” “it’s 3am?” “As i said i need moral support”

“But can i-“ “no”

“Hear me out you’re cute” “no”

*dying of laughter after putting cat ears on him* “childish”

“There should be a cereal called breaking fast with blue marshmallows in it and sponsored by breaking bad” “... that’s not terrible”

“Why am i a gullible idiot?!” *after 4 games of chess and losing 4 times* “but you’re my cute, gullible idiot”

“Um can i have a coffee ple-“ “no” “but why?” *intense stare* “I’ll have a hot chocolate”

*walking in wearing a suit* “YOU GOT A FINE ASS BOI” *his friend looking at him. Him wanting to bury his head into the void*

*singing off key and drunk* “I’M TOO HOT!” :D :D :D :D “.... hot damn”

*plays chopsticks on the keyboard* “do you wanna be in my band?”

“Law and order again?!” “IT’S EITHER LAW AND ORDER OR SAY YES TO THE DRESS WHAT DO YOU WANT”

“Disney film night!” *deflated sigh*

*in front of his frens in a alt store* “which collar should i get?” *bats eyes innocently*

*wakes me up at 8am* “an UNGODLY time” “no”

Lucien:

*listening to him explain a fish to me* “hehehe puffer fishy be so chonccy”

“I found you this rock!” “Excellent”

*wearing his jacket* “NOODLE ARMS ATTACK” “aaaa so scary”

*puts his hand on my thigh* “NOT IN PUBLIC” “but why?”

“This is my plant Dave the cactus, and this is my plant medusa the snek plant, and this is my plant sam the mini cactus and this is my plant...” *look of adoration*

*drags him away from his laptop to go to bed*

*after talking about trust issues because of my ex* *him: gets up* “where are you going?” “To commit murder”

*plays with his hair and he purrs*

*hot water bottle on tummy* “i am an egg in pain” “the cutest egg tho”

“DOGGY” “thats a fox dear” “SNEAKY DOGGY”

*having a an in-depth discussion on evolution* *5minutes later* “do you think the T. rex went extinct because he couldnt applaud his friends and died out of sadness?”

*i’ve killed him. He’s dead” “ill get the body bag” “my poor goldfish- WHAT”

*sits next to him wearing a hoodie and thigh highs* “you’re distracting me” “I’m just breathing” “yes”

*going to dance clubs always ends up with me against a wall*

*is wearing a cute bodycon dress with mesh panels* “we’re gonna be home early”

*what do you think of my new fishnets? *runs finger down them* “asmr all the time”

*me feeling insecure* “i think I’ve gained weight” “great then my plan i working! You will be healthy!”

Shaw:

*accidentally walks out of a shop holding a key ring i havent bought* “im a criminal [crying]” “a terrible one too”

*is 3months younger than me* “you’re so old” “you’re the one who looks 5 years older than you are” “take that back!”

“You can’t wear your leather jacket to a formal event” “fucking watch me”

*kisses and dancing in the rain*

“Idiot” *wtaches me splash in all the puddles like a child*

*watches me cry over a tiny snail i found* “i love this you”

“Omg look at this SNALLLL!” “Snail?” “SNALLLLL”

“I have so much debt” “its because all of the McNugs you buy”

“Help me dye my hair?” “Certainly that will be £300” “aaaaa”

“You’re so mean!” “I have to be otherwise you’ll never learn” *talking about watching another episode of game of thrones*

*has to look away for some game of thrones scenes* “a fragile child” “im older than you”

“Can i paint your nails?” “Yeah my masculinity ain’t fragile” “can i paint them holo?” “No”

*cuddling* “you smell” “do you want sex or not” “you smell lovely”

[rafeyybabyy]

50 questions

Thank you for tagging me love @nxsmss 🤍💓

1. what is the color of your hairbrush? black

2. name a food you never eat? raspberries

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold all the time

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? eating lunch

5. what’s you’re favorite candy bar? almond Hershey bar

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes!

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? “ i like your backpack it’s cute” to one of my coworkers

8. what is your favorite ice cream? rocky road

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? diet coke

10. do you like your wallet? yes but i need a new one

11. what is the last thing you ate? chick fil a spicy chicken sandwich

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? yes actually lol

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? Oakland A’s vs Houston Astro’s baseball game last night

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? cheddar cheese

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? my fiancé

16. ever go camping? yes i love it

17. do you take vitamins? no

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? no

19. do you have a tan? no lol

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese for sure

21. do you drink soda through a straw? no

22. what color socks do you usually wear? all different kinds

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? yes , vroom vroom lol

24. what terrifies you? clowns, & speaking in front of a group of people

25. look to your left, what do you see? my coworker

26. what chore do you hate most? putting clothes away after washing them

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? how bad i wanna move there

28. what’s your favorite soda? diet coke

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru

30. what’s your favorite number? 27

31. last person you talked to? coworkers

32. favorite cut of beef? i don’t really eat that much beef

33. last song you listend to? sierra leone by frank ocean

34. last book you read? Helldiver by Nicholas Sansbury Smith

35. favorite day of the week? saturday

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? no way lol

37. how do you like your coffe? french vanilla creamer and a little sugar

38. favorite pair of shoes? slip on vans

39. time you normally get up? 6:30 on week days and like 1-2 on weekends lol

40. what do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunset

41. how many blankets on your bed? just one, i like to be cold when sleeping

42. describe your kitchen plates? square and white

43. describe your kitchen at the moment? pretty clean, but a little cluttered

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? tito’s punch from chili’s 😛

45. do you play cards? no not really

46. what color is your car? black

47. can you change a tire? no lol

48. your favorite state? California

49. favorite job you’ve had? working at a daycare

50. tagging : @drewswannabegirl @fttayla @rafej-cambanks @parkershoco , and anyone who wants to join! (sorry if you’ve been tagged🤍)

[cycat4077]

Changes: Chapter 4

Ch. 4 is done. I was writing while waiting for the mid-season premier and am trying to get this thing written before my PhD life gets hectic again. As always, AO3 will have the most recent updates in terms of minor edits.

Title: Changes Ship: Sonny x Reader (OC female character)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | AO3 | Chapter List |

Chapter 4: His Heart’s In the Right Place - You witness how Sonny interacts with victims and children and you come to understand why he does what he does.

Notes: There's some sensitive issues mentioned in this chapter, but nothing close to what they go into on the show.

Time continues to pass at SVU and, not only do you notice Carisi's dedication, but he is also quite compassionate. He often puts up a tough-guy front but underneath all that you suspect is someone a lot softer. Your first clue should have been that protective hand on your back as he walked you home a couple weeks ago. But over and over again, he lets that side of himself shine through, especially when he deals with victims. He speaks to them in a considerate voice, always making sure that they feel safe and that they can trust him. He'll ask questions, probing for information but never in a way that comes across like he's pressuring them. You find it incredible. It's as if he is the perfect match for this job.

One afternoon in particular will always stay with you.

You look up from your work, spotting a woman cautiously make her way into the squad room. She has a little boy in tow. At first glance, nothing strikes you as unordinary but then you notice her appearance. Her makeup is smudged around her eyes, her reddish-brown hair is messy and some of her clothing is ripped at the seams. She’s here for a reason, but before you can speak up to notify anyone, Sonny is already by her side. You can’t make out what he’s saying to her, although you see her nodding and Sonny wrapping his suit jacket around her shoulders. He leads her to his desk where she takes a seat. He kneels in front of her as a sign that she can trust him, while her son fiddles with something shyly by her side.

You then see Benson come over and Sonny give her a knowing look. The woman is holding back tears as she apologetically states that she would have come in sooner, but she had to pick her son up from daycare. Both Benson and Carisi reassure her that it’s alright. Benson however, tells the woman that they need to speak privately and that it’s best that her son stays out in the squad room. The woman nods, reassures her son that she’ll be right back and then the sergeant leads her into the statement room.

The boy, probably no older than four, starts to cry as his mom walks away. You’re fixated on the situation as Sonny gently says: “Hey champ. It’s ok. Your mom has to talk to my friend for a while but don’t worry, she’s a nice lady. And that means I get to talk to you!” Sonny playfully points a finger at the boy. “My name is Sonny. What’s yours?” The boy looks away shyly, clutching a toy car tightly in his tiny hand. Carisi takes a quick look at the child’s backpack beside him, finding his name printed on it. “Is your name Connor?” he asks and the boy then looks up, giving a small nod. “That’s a cool name!” Sonny remarks enthusiastically before drawing his attention to the toy. “So, Connor, do you like cool cars? ‘Cause I do. Especially the ones that go real fast! Zooom!” Sonny runs his hand in front of Connor in a zig-zag pattern, animating a car speeding by. Finally, the little boy giggles and presents his toy car to Sonny. “Come on then, buddy. Let’s go sit down and play cars.”

Sonny stands up and takes the boy by the hand, leading him through the squad room towards the break area. Your heart goes out to the little boy as you watch the scene. From your desk you can just barely see Carisi sitting with Connor. Sonny certainly has a kind heart. Not everyone could be so calming and gentle towards children. It’s truly nice to witness and, every so often, you are able make out the vroom sounds the two make as they drive toy cars over the tabletop.

Eventually your day is over. The mother and boy have been taken care of and sent home, while their case remains open on the bulletin board. You make your way to the lockers and find Carisi leaning against the wall checking his phone. He immediately pockets it when he sees you arrive. “Hey,” he says, his voice tired.

“Hey,” you smile as you approach your locker for your belongings. Your pulse picks up a beat as you decide to acknowledge him for earlier. “You were really great today…with that boy who came in.”

“Thanks,” he responds. Sonny’s ears turn a slightly darker shade of pink. “I have a niece. Well, she’s 15 now but I used to have lots of practice being Uncle Sonny,” he fumbles.

“Well, it shows,” you say encouragingly and Sonny blushes again. Then you think about Connor and the state of his mother: “That little boy is going to have to be very strong for his momma for the next little while.”

“Yeah, he is,” agrees Sonny solemnly. “Y’know, it’s always so sad. Whether the kid is the victim or just collateral, they always end up sufferin’ the most. Those two,” he nods in the direction of the door, “their lives are changed forever. His mom is changed forever and all of that is inevitably gonna take a toll on him, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.”

You consider this for a moment. All the cases you’ve sifted through thus far and all the ones that have come through the squad room in your short time here; you only really see the immediate damage. The actual crime. Except you’ve never really considered the “after”; how these victims’ lives and the lives of their families are permanently altered. Suddenly you want to take nothing for granted.

Sonny must recognise the affliction in your features because he softly adds, “that’s why I wanna be a lawyer, you know. I wanna do everything in my power to make sure that these vics get justice. Being a cop is rewarding when you catch the bad guy and all, but it’s so frustratin’ when all your hard work gets squashed in court.”

You look up at Sonny with a furrowed brow. He’s right. None of it really ends when they slap cuffs on the perp. Not for the victims and not in terms of the justice system. Your features soften. “You’ll make a great lawyer, Sonny,” you reassure him. “You know what it’s like to be on the investigation-side of things, but you also have the compassion. There’s not enough of that in the world today.” It’s the best compliment you can think of because it’s true, and you want nothing more than for Sonny to know that you believe in him.

“Thanks, that means a lot,” he says your name as the corner of his lips turn up to form a genuine smile.

You both turn back to your lockers but you feel like you truly understand Sonny now. You know what drives him to not only be a great detective, but also to overwork himself at night school. His heart really is in the right place.

Chapter 5 here

[simplyolivers]

( ooc: so i literally put the every single one of the lyrics under the cut so if you’re trying to read this i’m so sorry also i’m too lazy to make a cover soooooo p.s. greg is what neptune call his fans k bye ) today neptune bentley, known as his youtube rap alias of ‘young face’, in a comedy ep called, [ title of album ]

i. spooky boy: ( based on neptune’s love of halloween & slightly dedicated to @elvvce & @ofcmargos‘s show ) boo bitch, you just got spooked (ayy) by a certified spooky ass dude (ayy) somebody let the monster loose in a graveyard sippin’ pumpkin juice wait (shh) do you hear that sound? every october it’s so profound all these other dudes act spooky for a month but a real spooky boy spooky all year ‘round plastic fangs on my teeth, sleeping in a coffin step up to all my cribs and all these decorations poppin’ i might go ooga booga booga boo i might just spook you and your homies too i’m just so spooky and greg is my crew (yeah) ayy, i’m a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky hands ayy, come up in your house and do a little spooky dance ayy, i’m a spooky boy, with a spooky face ayy it don’t matter i’ll spook at any time or place chillin’ with a skeleton, bitch, and a pumpkin on my head if you try to spook me you gon’ end up dead if you spook me again you gon’ end up undead (uh) that’s the life of the spooky boy better watch out if you see a full moon bitch yeah, i’ve been spooky like a mummy in a tomb bitch i don’t have a car because i fly on a broomstick pull up to the club, skrrt skrrt vroom vroom witch go to girls and they hella hella thin how thin are they? are they motherfucking skeletons?  that is not a joke about their weight, they are skeletons  Halloween music got us jigglin' like gelatin got a couch covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) got a whip covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) got a dog covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) spent way too much on cobwebs (ayy)  fake spooky dudes suck like Dracula i don’t give a damn if you a goblin you can back it up ghouls get crazy while i blow this cash, if you tryna monster smash ayy, I'm a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky knees ayy, I could teach you how to spook too for a spooky fee ayy, I'm a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky shoes ayy, and before this song is over you'll be spooky too  chillin’ with a skeleton, bitch, and a pumpkin on my head if you try to spook me you gon’ end up dead if you spook me again you gon’ end up undead (uh) that’s the life of the spooky boy

ii. beef with me: ( songs about people who start fake drama on yt for views ) ay, scrolling all day like I do (like I do) trying to see what's popping on the tube (youtube, ay) checking up on logan paul, too you know I'm not a maverick, that's true wait, what is this? jake paul, diss track logan paul, diss track ricegum, diss track all getting millions of views at first I'm like "what the fuck's up with these dudes?" 'till I saw they were getting views like cheap receipts I know that I'm an all around really nice guy but why nobody want to beef with me? I see this other guys roasting each other and raking in views the channels are flourishing so if you think I'd get mad if you roasted me I can endure it, man, I would encourage it, honestly all I want is them views original content's old news that shit makes me snooze start beef with me, you can't lose, ay  someone come beef with me someone come beef with me somebody who has a whole lot of subscribers please come and beef with me, uh someone come beef with me someone come beef with me my ego is fragile and you will destroy me if you come and beef with me I can send you a list of things I'm self-conscious about anything is fair game except for my feet ay, I could roast your vids, yeah you could roast my clothes, ay I could roast your diss track you could roast my nose you could write a whole song 'bout what I look like starting beef for views the oldest trick in the book, like trick is older than the sphynx come and roast me 'cause my content stinks I want a lot of views on YouTube I'm gonna need a long beef like sausage links I can pretend that you kidnapped my dog you can pretend that I beat up your mom we can pretend the police got involved we gon' be dropping this drama like bombs, ay  someone come beef with me someone come beef with me somebody who has a whole lot of subscribers please come and beef with me, uh someone come beef with me someone come beef with me my ego is fragile and you will destroy me if you come and beef with me  

iii. hop out the whip ( songs about people who ‘flex’ on yt ) skrtt! yeah, Tesla, Benz what do y'all know about hopping out of $300,000 cars?  hop out the whip hop back in (yeah) hop out the whip (ooh!) that's my shit (yeah!)  talk about look at the look in your eyes when I hop out of the Porsche hop out the Benz, hop out the Beamer, bitch I ain't got open the doors and I got a bad lil mama (lil mama!) she wanna go for a ride jokes on her, I'm only fourteen years old I do not know how to drive we just be sittin' in the car we just be sittin' in the whip I might hop right out right before I hop back in I've been working on my squats I've been working on my sprints I got a tramp in the garage, I bought brand new kicks so I can  hop out the whip hop back in (hop back in!) hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) that's my shit (yeah!) hop out the whip (hop out the whip y'all!) hop back in hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) ooh, that's my shit  this whippin' is serious (serious) it ain't even funny (nah) these bitches be buggin' (buggin', buggin', buggin', buggin') I just stay hopping like bunnies covered in carrots, what's up doc, can you look at my hip? I didn't take care of myself, I think I dislocated it when I hopped in the whip doin' tricks in the whip, 360 degrees in a flip going up to the highdive and diving this shit going up in a plane and skydiving in this and when I land we're highfiving I bet it did have a roof but it doesn't no more I put it away like I'm doing some chores now I can hop in and out of the whip 'til I figure out how to open the doors  hop out the whip (hop out the whip) hop back in (hop back in) hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) that's my shit, yeah hop out the whip (Hop out the whip!) hop back in (yeah, hop back in) hop out the whip (yeah, yeah) ooh, that's my shit (yuh!) can someone please tell me how to open the goddamn doors to this car game's over for y'all when I get my license, learn how to drive

iv. greg ( mostly for his fans but also for tom holland ) greg is the number one fanbase we livin' life in the fast lane we just hit 21 mil (ooh) time to pop open the champagne if you ain't Greg, that's lame greg is a beast that you can't tame greg takin' over the rap game greg is logan paul's dad's name  greg takin' off but these other dudes stalling greg full sprint but these other dudes crawling greg is hot on the court, we balling greg is hot on the web, Tom Holland number one Spiderman, hands down bitch talk about casting, such a great fit andrew Garfield still ain't shit toby maguire, you are not lit greg is a family, don't forget I would do anything for my gregs strongest army on the net fastest growing, please don't check greg is destroying, man, Greg is a winner greg is just eatin' up YouTube for dinner tom holland please, dm me on Twitter greg is a savage, man, greg is a killer haters are riding the wave (yeah) hoping that Greg will fall off (ooh) they say I got a young face (aye) just like Tom Holland, he's hot (uh) have you even seen his abs? (uh) I bet his skin is so soft (uh) greg is the realest on earth just in case all y'all forgot  I am truly greg, greg is all I need I don't fuck with craigs, they can kiss my knees we are a movement, you cannot divide us i'm Mr. Worldwide pitbull come and fight us 

v. spooky guy ( another song based on @elvvce & @ofcmargos‘s show? looks like it ) boo bitch, spooky boy's back ay, with the brand new spooky boy track waited all year for a chance to attack aside from orange I’m wearing all black not a treat but I got some tricks not a gang member but i live in crypts bright orbs in the background to all my pics you can call me drake 'cause I'm from that 6(66) (yuh) if you see me you better run outside, yeah you could be jekyll but you still couldn’t hyde, yeah spook ya then i'll eat some pumpkin pie and apple cida' hannibal lecter how i eat the track alive, yeah I'm a spooky guy I will never stop spookin' 'till the day I die I waited all year just so y'all would wanna see me now all these fake spooky guys wanna be me I ain't sippin’ lean, nah and I ain’t poppin' xans, yuh only poppin’ I do is to spook you and your friends, yuh poppin' out the casket then I do my spooky dance, yuh I do it for the spook, give a fuck if it offends ya  make spooky boys do the most, ay new whip looking like a ghost, ay new boo looking like a ghost, yuh cause she died three years ago, ohh that shit was really sad (yeahhh) and it was all over the news (spooked to death) and the only way I had to cope was a whole lotta booze (boo! boo!) spook you into a coma then I'll spook your ass out my spooking is advanced y'all still tryna learn how I can teach you how to spook for the right amount I’m dracula these witches going down for the count  'cause I'm a spooky dude and I will spook you every day, even if it's rude I waited all year just so y'all would wanna see me now all these fake spooky guys wanna be me I ain't sippin' lean, nah and I ain't poppin' xans, yuh only poppin' I do is to spook you and your friends, yuh poppin' out the casket then I do my spooky dance, yuh I do it for the spook, give a fuck if it offends ya 

[shaevira]

Someone asked me for a Freezerburn AU with Ruby & Blake as their child on A03, so I thought I’d share here too just in case. :)

WC: 1.3k

Light pattering echoed on the wooden floors. The sunlight that had already been shining on Weiss’s face had done her no favors in keeping her asleep on this Mother’s Day, now she had to deal with…

Ruby clamored onto the bed, she might’ve been three years old but that didn’t stop the child from doing things she shouldn’t have. How did she get out of her crib in the first place? Ruby made her way to Weiss, now climbing ontop of her mother and lightly patting her face as to wake her up.

“Mm..” mumbled Weiss. “Yang...you take care of this.” but there was no response from her wife. “Yang?” she opened her eyes and removed Ruby from her face, placing her on her blanketed lap. She felt the empty spot behind her. “Yang?!” Now usually Yang would be the last one awake, but the discovery of her missing blonde wife and the fact her kids were out and about freaked Weiss out.

She pulled Ruby in close. “Where is your delinquent of a mother?!” she asked her as if Ruby could answer correctly. Instead Ruby giggled and snuggled up to her. “Momma!” Ruby said.

“You’re not hurting our child, right?” Yang came through the door with tray that held Weiss’s breakfast. Following behind was a six year old Blake.

“I made it for you mom! Yang helped!” She rushed ahead of Yang, nearly knocking her over and sat next to Weiss on the bed.

“Eeshhh. Be careful Blake!” Yang caught herself and walked towards Weiss, placing the tray in front of her as Ruby was also placed next to Weiss.

“You cooked this?” Weiss stared down at the plate in awe. Nicely made pancakes, with fresh fruits and chocolate chips. Accompanied by a big glass of orange juice. Although Yang was a somewhat of a good cook, it was very unlike her.

“It was my idea!” Blake yelled out, “I woke up mom really early and Ruby helped too!” Blake grinned as did Ruby who was giving a thumbs up.

“6 am. Heh.” Yang awkwardly smiled and scratched behind her neck, as she still stood by Weiss’s bedside. It was 9 in the morning. “It took a few tries, but we got it right. Eventually.”

“Momma, she made a mess.” Blake admitted.

“Hey!” Yang eyed her amber-eyed daughter. Weiss simply chuckled.

“I hope I’m not the one who has to clean it all up.” Weiss smirked up at Yang.

Yang sighed and motioned to Blake and Ruby. “We’ll get on it. Now let’s leave your mother alone to eat and get dressed.”

Yang went over Weiss to grab Ruby, Blake saw herself off the bed but not before having to witness Weiss and Yang exchange a very sweet and delicate kiss. “Ewww….” Blake groaned now fleeing the room in a catlike fashion.

Weiss and Yang laughed. With Ruby at her waist, Yang began to exit the room.

“Babe, hold on.” Weiss called out.

Yang stopped and turned looking at her curiously.

“Get dressed, we have plans somewhere today. We will leave in an hour or so. I’ll help with the kids.” Weiss told her.

A very confused Yang nodded with an “Okay. Got it.” and exited.

“So Rubes, tell me the 411...what’s momma got planned for me? I know she tells you everything.” Yang tickled Ruby as she spoke.

Ruby’s contagious laughter filled the hallways as they went to go clean up the kitchen.

///

“Are we there yeeeeet?” Yang whined.

“You know I expect this from Blake, but not from you. Wait…” Weiss paused “No, I was wrong I do expect this from you.” Weiss shook her head.

“ARE WE THERE YET?” Blake copied Yang loudly. Yang snorted. “That’s my girl.” Yang whispered.

They pulled into a very well-known motorcycle company. One that produces some of the best motorcycles known to mankind.

Yang went wide-eyed “You didn’t.” she commented in disbelief.

“What did she do?!” Blake tried looking out the car window from her booster seat, but sadly for her she couldn’t read very fast or well yet. “Where are we?!”

“We’re at Yang’s favorite place.” Weiss answered.

“The potty?” Blake questioned.

“HEY!” Yang turned her head at glared at her mischievous, 6 year old daughter. Ruby giggled, “Momma likes potty!” Ruby added.

Weiss laughed as they entered a parking space.

“We’re at a motorcycle place. It’s Yang’s favorite place. Everything here can go fast and she’s always wanted one of her own.” Weiss answered as she grabbed Ruby from her seat and carried her. While Yang hoisted Blake onto her back as they walked into the dealership.

They entered the building and were greeted by a dealer. “Weiss Schnee-Xiao Long I presume?” He shook Weiss’s free hand. He turned to Yang. “You must be the lucky girl. Yang Xiao Long-Schnee. Follow me.” he gestured them towards the back room.

They entered the room. A bike was basically on it’s own pedestal, covered by a sort of blanket. Yang set down Blake from her back.

He removed the blanket from the bike, and Yang had begun to blubber nonsense. A gorgeous yellow and black bike was in front of her. It must have cost a fortune for Weiss. It definitely had a powerful engine, and it’s gears were very high-end and complex. It was sleek and sports like.

“It’s yours. All paid for. You can take it home today if you’d like.” The man smiled and left the room, leaving the family there alone.

Yang was currently stunned, still blubbering nonsense as she didn’t know what to make of the situation.

“Mom, is she broken?” Blake poked at Yang, as she asked Weiss.

Weiss held a huge grin on her face as she pulled Yang towards the bike. “This was Ruby’s idea...and a little bit of mine.” Weiss commented. “Go on. Try it out.”

Wordlessly Yang hopped on the bike, getting a feel for it. “Mama likey…” Yang muttered rubbing her hands all over the bike. She couldn’t wait to rev the engine for the first time.

“I wanna get on!” Blake jumped up and down, Yang bent down to grab her and put her in front of her.

Blake made pretend vrooming sounds. Soon enough, Ruby began to grasp towards the bike as Weiss watched her favorite girls have a good time.

Weiss placed Ruby in front of Blake. “Hold onto your sister, okay Blake? I’m going to take a picture.”

Weiss stood back to take a picture. “Everyone say, ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’”

The trio on the bike repeated the words and smiled, Yang having the hugest grin on her face.

///

Mother’s Day was coming to an end as the family of four all sat on the couch cuddled up to one another. Weiss and Yang were cuddled up next to each other as Blake and Ruby had fallen asleep on top of them as a movie played.

“I couldn’t have asked for a better day.” Yang began with a whisper, “I should’ve gotten you more though. You got me a bike...and all I did was breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

Weiss placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “No, you and them are all I need. This family is all I’ll ever need. Now and forever.” she looked at Yang as she spoke in a very gentle and whispered tone.

Yang met her ending sentence with a very passionate and light kiss, trying not to wake the children in their laps. “Weiss, I love you so much.” she said as she pulled away.

“I love you too, Yang.” Weiss smiled as she now settled her head on Yang’s shoulder, ending the night with her family was all she had ever wanted for Mother’s Day. As Yang too, had everything she had ever wanted.

Both sharing love with a happy family.

[chevvyeol]

I’m like baby I ain’t normal grr, four in her, for a nut, foreigner

its 2:43 am, you wake up to the sound of your sister with her boyfriend SMASHING 

you want to tell them to shut tf up but you don’t want to ruin their moment, you call you best friend kyungsoo

Kyungsoo:”yo shut tf up, im trying to mf sleep here, have some respect”

Y/N: “sorry, I just can’t sleep because my sister won’t stop banging with her bf, it’s been hours, its lit rally 2 am wtf”

Kyungsoo:”jesus ok wanna come over or should I go over there?”

Y/N:”nah bro you ain’t coming over here, i’ll go over there”

once you in your car you start to think *you brain* “lmao i’m horny”, you stop thinking about it because you can’t do anything about it, kyungsoo is you best friend since kids, wtf are you going to do with him, NOTHING CUX YOU’RE A LOSER, sorry ok

you get to kyungsoo’s house, he was waiting outside the whole time “lmao what a loser”

“hey y/n, i wanna take you somewhere where we can see the sunrise”

you start to think “car sex car sex car sex car sex car sex NO STOP SHUT UP IDOT” you can’t be thinking that with kyunsoo

you get into his car and you drive off *vroom vroom*

you don’t know where you’re going but you are getting excited, you can’t stop thinking about how horny you are so you just sit there and observe, gotta a keep an eye out for selener

you slowing start to fall asleep, kyungsoo notices and he smirks, suddenly you fall alseep

you wake up hearing kyungsoo whispering in your ear

kyungsoo:”i need a bad bleep, uhh addison rae, lil shawty the baddest, yeah, and she got her ways”

y/n:”die”

you get out of the car and you see the beautiful view from the mountain, even doe is dark af but you see all the city lights, then you look around and you see what he prepared, a blanket on top of the car, that’s it, just a blanket on top of his car, he helps you get on top of the car so you can sit there and watch the sunrise, he goes up there with you

when you’re both sitting he puts his arm around you and you start to blush, you can feel your face getting hot and you feel like your heart is going to explode you heart is beating so fast that you fee like you’re gonna pass out, and you start to get horny again lol

he looks at you, you can feel he’s looking at you so you look back, he goes in for a kiss, you are SHOOK, you glitch, you brain *woof woof bark bark* it takes some time for you to process if this is real.

kyungsoo:”im so sorry, i didn’t mean it to be weird, i just really like you and I’ve liked you for some time now and i felt this was the right time to tell you”

y/n:”lol ok”

kyungsoo:”im sorry”

y/n:” no please don’t apologize, I-I kinda liked it”

so you go in for a second kiss, this one more intense

ok so now you have sex in the car blah blah idk how to write smut and then you watch the sunset togheter while naked lol lmao woof woof bark aye period aye, (ps, ill make it better tomorrow im to lazy to keep typing)  edit: I never made it better 😋🙈

[chewingtoniii]

SANSFAM part 17

Classic and Temmie by Toby Fox

Gaster Sans by @borurou

Reaper by @renrink

Mob by @undermafiaz

Horror by @sour-apple-studios

Dance by @teandstars

Cross by @jakei95

Nightmare and Dream by @dreamtale-au

SANESSS by @srpelo

Fell by ???

Lust by @nsfwshamecave-pb

Outer by @2mi127

Geno, Error, and Fresh by @loverofpiggies

Sci by ???

Ink by @comyet

Swap by @popcornpr1nce

Little by @mudkipful

We own nothing except Sansfam.  Undertale belongs to Toby Fox, and all characters go to their rightful owners.  We hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 17- IN SEARCH OF THE LAMB SAUCE

(A/N: If you’re new to the Sansfam series, then check out our masterpost, if you read them in order it’ll make much more sense)

Toby: *turns on TV*

All kids: *jump out from behind the couch* WE WANNA WATCH GORDON RAMSEY

Toby: JESUS GOD IN HELL, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THERE?

Swap: 5 hours

Toby: But why?

Dream: We were waiting for you to turn on the TV

Toby: Why didn’t you turn it on yourselves?

Horror: Mom banned us

Fell: Because apparently it’s “bad for us” if we watch ISIS hentai

Lust: I got exactly 16 boners from it

Toby: *squirts with spray bottle* No Lust, that's bad

Lust: Daddy quit making me wet

Error: *slaps the ho* SILENCE SLUT

Little: Can we watch Gordon Ramsey nowww?

Toby: Well if you’re banned, then no

Cross: Bu-

Toby: Nope, until Mom says you can use it again, you get no TV

Nightmare: Listen buddy, I did not crouch behind this sofa with 19 idiots for 5 fucking hours, to have my Gordon Ramsey privileges denied. So if you don’t let us watch TV, I will tell Mom you stole her crayons

CQ: *runs in* BITCH I HEARD THAT, YOU A DEAD FUCKER NOW

Nightmare: Shit *runs away*

Dream: Brother no! *runs after him*

Dream Team: *runs after Dream*

Everyone Else: *shrugs and follows them*

Everyone runs outside and grabs their getaway vehicles, desperate to escape CQ’s wrath

Dream Team: *gets on tricycles*

SANESSS: WEEOOO WEEOOO

G: *gets on a bike with a wagon attached to it*

Classic: *gets in the wagon like a lazy ass*

Error: *steals a car*

Everyone else: *gets in the stolen car*

CQ: Y’ALL BETTER BE BACK IN TIME FOR DINNER

Geno: ERROR SLOW THE FUCK DOWN HOLY SHIT

Error: YOU CAN’T STOP ME HO

Fresh: ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS IS WAY TOO SLOW BROSKI, WE GOTTA GO FASTER *grabs the steering wheel*

Car: *veers off into the spoopy woods, lots of screaming follows*

Swap: *gaspu* DREAM TEAM AFTER THEM

Dream Team: *throws tricycles in the woods and jumps in after*

G: Well fuck *purposely veers into the woods*

~10 WONDERFUL MINUTES LATER~

Classic: My arm huuuuuuuurts

G: Why?

Classic: Oh I don’t know, maybe its cuz someone threw me out of a wagon and into a fucking tree

G: Pfft, it was the tree’s fault for being there

Sci: You know this is a forest right?

G: TREES ARE MEANT FOR PAPER

Reaper: A TREE TRIED TO STEAL MY WAIFU

Geno: FUCK OFF, I AM NOT YOUR WAIFU

Reaper: That’s not what you were saying last night~

Geno: *puts his face in his hands and screams*

SANESSS: I AM LORAX AND I SPEAK FOR BEES

Dance: It’s trees not be-

SANESSS: BEEEEEEEES *has a small seizure*

Classic: My arm still hurts

Fell: At least you weren’t in the car *shivers*

Error: I didn’t hit that many pigeons

Mob: I lost count at 40

Error: Again, not that many

Little: Everybody shut up and wook over there!

Everyone: *looks and sees glowing light*

Mob: Maybe its money

Cross: WELL I WANT SOME MONEY, LET'S GO

Everyone: *runs to the glowing light*

Dream: WOAH IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN MONEY

SANESSS: LAMB SAUCEEEEE

Ink: THE LAMB SAUCE HAS BEEN LOCATED

Error: GRAB IT

Suddenly a level 666 Gordon Ramsey appears

Gordon Ramsey: What’re you doing in my swamp??!!

Cross: HIS POWER IS OVER 9,000

Horror: HE AIN’T NO MATCH FOR ME, SPELL ICUP NIGGA

Fresh: *throwing spaghetti on the ground*

Gordon Ramsey: WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SPAGHETTI IN YOUR POCKETS??

Swap: *kicks him in the face*

Outer: *grabs the lamb sauce* I GOT THE LAMB SAUCE

Dance: *throws Sci’s glasses on the ground* SCATTER

Everyone: *runs away in the same direction*

Sci: WAIT I CAN’T SEE

Fell: *goes back to grab his smol bf*

Outer: WHY DID WE ALL RUN IN THE SAME DIRECTION?

Dance: CUZ HE WOULD NEVER EXPECT THAT

Everyone: *gets in the stolen car*

Mob: Wait, who’s gonna drive?

Little: ME! *starts the car*

Everyone else: *panicking and screaming*

Reaper: Where’s SANESSS??

SANESSS: HEEEEYA *is strapped to the ceiling*

Little: *floors it*

Classic: You can’t even see the road!

Little: I BEWIEVE I CAN ACHIEVE

Gordon Ramsey: *steps into the road*

Lust: *sticks head out window* VROOM VROOM BITCH

Little: INCOMING *hits Gordon with da cer*

Sci: I’M BLINDED, WHAT’S GOING ON??

Fell: WE JUST KILLED GORDON RAMSEY

G: *eating the lamb sauce*

Swap: *slaps him* SHARING IS CARING

Ink: How fast are we- HOLY SHIT WE’RE GOING 100 MILES PER HOUR

Geno: WHY DID WE LET A FOUR YEAR OLD DRIVE??

SANESSS: WHEEEEEEEE

Ink: AND OHMYGOD WE JUST RAN OVER A STOP SIGN

Little: YOU CAN’T TEWW ME WHAT TO DO

Fresh: STOP SIGNS IS JUST THE GOVERNMENT TRYING TO HACK US

Horror: SHIT BOIS IT'S ALMOST 8:00, MOMS GONNA KILL US

Little: NOT ON MY WATCH *speeds up to 200 miles per hour*

Reaper: I CAN SEE THROUGH TIME

~2 Minutes Later~

Car: *crashes into the house*

CQ: *comes outside* WHAT IN FUCKS NAME DID YOU DO?? AND WHOSE CAR IS THAT??

Dream: Hi Mommy!

G: Can we have dinner now?

Toby: *comes outside* Wut in tarnation

Mob: Yeah, we don’t know whose car this is

Fell: Also, we found some lamb sauce, can we eat it?

Toby: *facepalms*

CQ: Weeeell, since you found some lamb sauce, I guess you can use the TV again

SANESSS: WHOOOOOOOUP!!!!!!6!!!!!!

CQ: Now imma go make some lamb sauce dinner

Lust: Hey guys, wanna go watch TV?

Nightmare: Let’s go fam

The Sanses spend the rest of the night watching Peppa Pig and eating lamb sauce

THE END!

[flauntpage]

A Comprehensive Review Every New NBA 'City' Uniform

The biggest NBA news of the day is that Baron Davis and Laura Dern are dating, but the second biggest news is that Nike Released their designs for every NBA team’s “City” alternate jersey, which are jerseys inspired by cities or some shit. I looked at them and wrote about them, like a normal sports blogger does.

GOOD:

CHICAGO:

It’s the flag, and it’s a nice flag everyone is very fond of. I am worried about players spilling chocolate on their unis, though. That would be very embarrassing, I think, to walk around with a big ol’ chocolate stain on your nice white uniform. High risk, high reward play, here.

PACERS:

It has a checkered flag, like a race car. I like race cars. I like that they go vroom vroom very fast.

CLIPPERS:

Look I don’t know what the fuck is has to do with boats, or why the team is wearing Miami Dolphins colors, but teal is an NBA power color and you have to respect any team that dons it.

BUCKS:

Eggshell tones baby! Perfect for the river-yacht or a chilly, fire-lit library, with a tasteful stripe down the middle to bring it all together. This is the midwestern thinking man’s alternate jersey. Also they say “CREAM CITY” on the bottom, which is where I live, work and play, spiritually.

MAGIC:

If you don’t like these, you need to smoke more weed. One time I was EXTREMELY blitzed off THC drops at the Hiram M. Chittenden Locks in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle, Washington, and I spent like ten minutes in the gift shop, looking at the t-shirts they were selling. I thought the drawing was really nice and for a hot second I thought, damn I need one of these motherfuckers REAL bad but then my good brain, not my stoned brain, kicked in and way like “Hey Corbin, man, you’re probably too stoned to make this purchase, this shirt isn’t that nice dude.” Anyway, if I was still using, and I encountered this jersey in that state, I would HAVE to buy the Bismack Biyombo manifestation of this jersey, just spend whatever obscene amounts of money was requested of me, and regret the purchase in a very true and real way while also savoring my stoned wisdom in that time. This jersey rules.

SPURS:

I get that, as a left leaning-dude, I’m expected to hate black and white Spurs-branded digi-camo. But by making the camo black and white, it goes BEYOND a tribute-to-the-troops and turns a bunch of dudes who plays a game for a living into members of a private mercenary gang that kills its enemies with hoops. Watching capital inadvertently debase the world spanning military colossus that keeps it in power is kinda funny, I think it’s good.

SIXERS:

EXTRAORDINARILY classy font! Finally, the play of Joel Embiid is being recognized for what it is: a luxury product, grander than any wine, any gold topped chocolate bon bon, any gentle scented oil, rubbed into your back by the world’s strongest and most skilled masseuse.

ROCKETS:

At first glance, it’s maybe a little weird that the Rockets have Chinese writing on a jersey that is meant to celebrate the city of Houston, a city where most people speak English. But, clearly, this is the harbinger of the future for the franchise, which is going to move to Beijing as soon as possible. What’s my source? THAT’s my source buddy! BEIJING ROCKETS 2018-19, DON’T TRY TO HIDE FROM IT!

UTAH:

Evokes the 70s, cocaine. Maravich belongs in this jersey.

KINGS:

The Basketball is a Lion King. He will stand above all other balls and roar, and the other balls will bow at his might until, one day, he is killed by another basketball, his brother who is also a basketball. His son, a basketball as well, will get revenge and take his place on the mountain, though.

BROOKLYN:

It’s a Nets Jersey. It’s black and white and it looks nice. Not everything needs to shatter molds.

MIAMI:

I wanna make a joke, but what, I’m made of stone?

KNICKS:

I like firefighters and no one can say otherwise.

BAD:

CELTICS:

You guys aren’t gonna believe this, but the Celtics have a boring looking alternate jersey to compliment their boring looking regular jersey. Features grey. More on that later. We are living in the wildest possible times.

LAKERS:

Kobe Bryant designed these. They’re supposed to look like snakes, because Kobe branded himself as a snake. Kobe spending his retirement trying a bunch of sports-adjacent shit he’s not good at and getting deferrence because he is Kobe Bryant, The Player Who Scored A Lot, is maybe the most embarrassing shit I’ve ever seen a professional athlete do. It would be less embarrassing if he was posting videos where people pissed in his mouth or making sly pro-Trump allusions to reporters or taking 125th place in Scrabble tournaments.

CAVS:

It is, I think, truly stunning how terrible these things are. They are, first, off, grey. You know, grey? The color of cloudy days and paved over fields? The color that only looks good on dads, while they swing hammers or pick up their children, or whatever? And then, the only color that REALLY compliments grey, which is yellow. You know. Like a paved road, that thing everyone thinks has a cool color? I mean who can blame Nike, I suppose, when LeBron James, the world’s most famous athlete, is the human being who is your most prominent non-Jordan pitchman, you gotta put him in the ugliest shit imaginable

OKC:

Honestly, It’s impressive how awful these are, soup-to-nuts. No one who made this had even one good idea they put into the final product. Every OKC jersey is bad, of course, on account of the team’s very existence being born from the poison seed of theft from Seattle, but… Gradients!? GRADIENTS!? A grey-to-grey-gradient? Why, on God’s green earth, is Nike fucking so hard with Grey, a color, not even a color, a SHADE, that has inspired exactly no people, ever? They like grey so much that they put TWO DIFFERENT KINDS of grey in this piece of garbage, and subtly mixed the two greys so that there would be nearly infinite manifestations of grey betweens the main greys. This jersey is seeking the limits of grey itself, the deepest grey, the grey at the edge of our understanding of grey.

WASHINGTON:

All the chocolate staining potential of the Chicago jersey, none of the evocative shit. These are maybe, low key, the worst one.

ATLANTA:

This evokes bees, not Hawks. Would someone please put feather texturing on these jerseys, like the world has been demanding all these years.

DETROIT:

These say “Motor City” but do not feature any pictures of cars, which I love because, like I said earlier, they are fast and they make loud noises. The move here was an updated version of the mid 90’s Grant-Hill vroom vroom firehorse, but Nike isn’t listening to good sense!

GOD ONLY KNOWS:

WOLVES:

Look, I’ve talked a lot of shit on Grey, which is Nike’s favorite color right now I guess, but I can accept it here. Minny winters are insanely grey, wolves are grey, this all makes thematic sense. But also: good god grey is ugly. Don’t wear grey!

MAVERICKS:

These are bad but they’re like so bad that I think they almost fly around the moon and become good again? They are a bad uniform that lives somewhere out of time, a look that has never been cool in any era, but in that fact I think they gain a kind of integrity. There’s a possibility that, someday, in 2067 or some shit, these will have been regarded at an innovative step forward in jersey aesthetics, even if we think they’re hideous now. Cop them and freeze dry to sell in the future.

WARRIORS:

That shade of yellow is hideous but the logo is cool? “The Bay” is some real San Francisco bullshit though, one of those subtle org-wide attempts to separate the team from Oakland before they strip the city of the team and move them to rich-ass tech boi SF in a few years.

MEMPHIS:

Honestly I feel weird writing snarky, mildly absurdist jokes about a jersey that is based on signs from a famous workers rights struggle. While I guess I respect Grizzlies celebrating a monumental protest with their unis, the fact that they were designed and manufactured by Nike, a company with a workers rights record that is spotty at best, goes a long way to defanging the allusion. Capitalism: it’s everywhere and it’s amoral!

SUNS:

EXTREMELY PURPLE. Purple is my favorite color and I honestly admire how purple these are, while also wondering… how purple is too purple?

PELICANS:

These are also Purple.

BLAZERS:

Every other Portland fan hates these things, which makes sense because they live in the world capital of streetwear snobbery. I think they’re fine. The plaid is totally unnecessary. If I was making these bad boys, I think I would stick a fat-ass salmon on there, personally. I also think that the mascot should be replaced with a salmon.

HORNETS:

I don’t even know, man. If it were up to me, I would make them play in a white jersey with a fat-ass picture of Michael Jordan’s smiling face on the front, and anything else will just seem incomplete to me.

RAPTORS:

Finally a uniform that tells sports fans: “Hey: my face is up here. I know my body is chugging away down here, but the soul is in the face, and that’s where a person’s TRUE MEANING can be found. Geeze louise.”

NUGGETS:

Nice shade of blue. Fun stripes. Otherwise: whatever.

Okay I did it, this is every uniform. Back to tracking down every last piece of information I can collect and Baron + Laura. Where do they like to go to dinner, you think?

A Comprehensive Review Every New NBA 'City' Uniform published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv