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#I wanted to talk about the 'from now on' too so badly
bro-atz · 1 day
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sore all over
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in which: san hates seeing you miserable during your period, and he wants to help any way he can.
pair: san/afab!reader
word count: 2.2k
content: smut, pwp, nicknames (baby), established relationship, lowkey kinda self-indulgent shhh, period sex, safe sex, completely consensual!
rated: R | nsfw — minors do not interact
author's note: thank you @k-hotchoisan @ja3hwa @temptaetions @flurrys-creativity @mercif4l for the input (and the validation i lowkey needed to write this lol)
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Not going to lie, San was a little worried when you didn't get out of bed all day. Well, you technically did get up to drag yourself to the bathroom every so often, but then you immediately went back to bed. He knew that you were in a lot of pain because of your period, but he didn't realize that you were going to be completely out of commission that day.
Usually, your periods didn't hit you that hard, but this time around, it was like you were being stabbed in the uterus over and over again. Your entire body was aching like there was no tomorrow, and you truly thought it was going to be over for you because no matter what you did, you were in a world of pain. Hot packs didn't help, painkillers didn't help— nothing was working to alleviate your pain. So, you just curled yourself up into a ball and hugged a pillow to your body while burying your face in the pillow.
"Baby?" San asked as he approached you on the bed slowly from behind you. "Are you okay?"
"No," you mumbled into the pillow. "I wanna die."
"Don't say things like that, baby," San said with a frown.
"How about I kick you in the balls, then you talk?" you couldn't help but retort. "You would wanna die, too, wouldn't you?"
San shivered at the thought of anything hurting his crotch. He shook his head to keep himself from derailing from his original thought and said, "Well, I'm here to help you, baby. Can I do anything else to help you?"
You tried turning to face him, but your back was so sore that it hurt when you moved even a millimeter. Still laying on your side, you grunted in slight pain as you pulled your shirt up slightly and asked, "Can you massage my back for me please? My lower back?"
"Of course I can," San replied.
San knelt on the bed, his knees on either side of you at first as he waited for something, although you had no idea what until he spoke again.
"Shouldn't you lay on your stomach for me to massage your back, baby?"
You huffed in frustration, but before you could even contemplate turning, San said, "Never mind. Don't move— I think I can still massage you well from the side."
"You sure?"
"Yes, baby," San said as he left a light kiss on your temple. "I want you to feel comfortable."
San ended up lying on the bed right behind you, his warm hands resting on the small of your back. He pressed his thumbs into the dimples on your back, and you groaned. It was still painful, but the pressure from his thumbs did alleviate some of the pain, so it was worth the momentary suffering.
Every time San pressed his fingers into your back, you groaned and sighed, the massage actually working better than the hot pack did. You found yourself pushing your body towards his magic touch, sighs of pleasure tumbling out of your mouth as his massage continued.
What you didn't realize, though, was that San was getting harder with every passing second because your moans were incredibly sensual. He knew that you were in pain and suffering because of your period, but he so badly wanted to fuck you in that moment because you sounded so fucking sexy to him with your constant moaning and groaning.
Now that the dull, throbbing pain in your back was slightly relieved, you felt your breasts get more sore. You dropped the pillow you were hugging to the floor and tried to massage your own breasts, but your hands were too weak to get the same level of pressure that San was using on your back. So, you asked, "Can you... Can you also massage my breasts, please?"
"Of course, baby. Whatever you want," San murmured.
San's hands slithered up your shirt, his palms resting flat on your ribs, his fingers brushing your underboob. As he hugged you from behind, he pulled you closer to him, your back flush against his chest. He then gripped your breasts gently, his fingers pressing into your sore breasts and starting to massage them. However, when you moaned in slight frustration, he immediately used more power and gripped your breasts tightly. As he did so, his fingers brushed past your nipples, making you moan loudly and erotically as hell. Embarrassed, you covered your mouth, your face heating up.
"That was so cute, baby," San teased as he buried his face in your hair. "Can you make that noise again for me? Please?"
"N-No. Shut up," you rejected.
Despite you rejecting him, San was determined to make you moan like that again.
"S-Sannie," you moaned when his fingers started pinching your nipples. "I-I'm really sensitive right now, baby..."
"Do you want me to stop, then?" he asked you, his breath tickling your neck and his low voice tickling your brain.
"God, no... Don't stop..."
San chuckled. He pinched the slightest bit harder before tugging on your nipple. You arched your back and sighed sensually as he continued to tug. You reached back for his head and ran your fingers through his hair. You gripped the roots of his hair and tugged his head back slightly whenever he rubbed your nipples in his fingers.
Your eyes began fluttering the more he massaged, and you completely closed your eyes when you felt him begin to leave small little kisses in the nook of your neck. You were thoroughly enjoying his massage and got sucked into your own little world of pleasure, only for your eyes to fly wide open when he pressed his pelvis into your ass.
"Sannie, you're turned on right now?" you couldn't help but giggle as you asked.
You managed to reach back and cup his clothed hard-on in your hand, the man moaning slightly as you did so. His breathing hitched as he replied, "How can I not be when I'm touching you like this... And while you're moaning like that...?"
Finally, thanks to his hard work, your soreness was relieved just enough for you to turn in his arms. You palmed his cock over his pants and whispered, "How about I help you with this, then? It's my turn to help you, after all."
"Actually," San said slowly before gulping nervously. "I think there's a way we can help each other out, baby..."
"What do you mean?"
You were honestly left completely shocked when San suddenly got up from the bed and disappeared from your bedroom. However, moments later, San returned with a couple of towels and a condom.
"Do you think you can get off the bed for a second, baby?" San asked you.
"W-What— You can't be serious right now, San," you said in disbelief, your eyes wide.
"I read online that having sex on your period should help with your cramps," he explained to you.
"But— Won't the blood freak you out?" you questioned.
"It's a natural thing, baby. Why would I be freaked out?"
"It'll get all over you, and it'll stain the bed sheets! Also, it's dirty—"
"That's what the condom and towels are for," he interrupted you. "Don't worry, baby. We don't have to if you don't want to, but I think we could at least try it out."
Honestly, you had read the same information online about the benefits of having sex on your period, and it did cross your mind to ask your boyfriend to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you, but you didn't think he would be open to having sex when you were bleeding; so him being so willing to have sex with you on your period without you even asking kind of freaked you out a bit, and you would've probably pushed back a little harder had it not been for your hormones turning you on earlier when he was massaging your breasts.
You agreed, and San immediately set up the bed. He laid the towels down on the bed and removed the comforter and pillows to make sure they wouldn't accidentally get stained. He had you strip down to nothing before having you lay down on the bed.
As you laid on the towels, you were already worried about bleeding onto them, and you couldn't help but fidget. Noticing the slightly stressed look on your face, San quickly removed his own clothes and rolled the condom on his twitching, hard cock before straddling you. His fingers held your chin gently, forcing you to look at him as he lowered his body onto yours.
"Baby, don't think about it as blood. Think of it as lube, only red," he said calmly. "And if you're so worried about the color, then just close your eyes, okay?"
With a soft exhale, you nodded. Your eyes fluttered shut as San got closer to you, his lips meeting yours. He kissed you softly and slowly, your mind melting as his kisses got more sensual. You didn't have a single care or worry with the way San was kissing you in that moment, and you were so out of touch from everything else that you didn't realize he was rubbing the tip of his cock along your cunt.
San pushed his cock into you slowly but easily, his cock filling you up. You moaned against his lips, your hands clutching the towels underneath you as you started unintentionally getting nervous again. As a result, you couldn't help but clench your cunt, and of course, San felt your nervousness.
"Baby," San interrupted your chain of kisses with a soft sigh. "Relax..."
His hands reached for your arms. He brought them up and laced his fingers with yours. He kissed you again, and when he felt your cunt finally relax, he started moving. His waist rolled into yours slowly, and the dull pain you felt earlier started melting away thanks to the friction from his cock. You couldn't help but sigh with relief the more he moved in and out of you.
"You feeling better, baby?" San asked you, his forehead pressing against yours.
"A little bit, yeah," you admitted softly.
"Then, can I move a little faster?"
San lifted his face so he could look into your eyes. You opened your eyes and nodded before closing your eyes again— technically, San was blocking your line of sight, but you were still worried that you were going to see red, so you closed them again. San buried his face in the nook of your neck, his breath hitting your collarbone. He started rutting into you a little faster, making you sharply inhale and moan while exhaling.
The wet sound of his waist meeting yours repetitively was honestly freaking you out a little bit. No matter how you tried to think about it, you knew that the wet sound was not your arousal or lube, but before you could spiral thinking about it, San moved his lips to your ear, and he started whispering sweet nothings into your ear, drowning out the sound of him fucking you.
Your entire body started shifting along the towels as San not only sped up but started thrusting harder. He let go of your hands to hook his arms under your legs, pushing them upwards, easing the strain on your lower back as he quite literally bent you in half. You could hear him grunting and moaning softly in your ear with every thrust; you could tell he was close, and honestly, you didn't realize you were as well until he grabbed your breasts again.
San intentionally rubbed his fingers against your nipples, the pleasure from how sore they were building rapidly within you. It was when San rammed his hips into yours as hard as he could, hitting your cervix with the tip of his cock, did you cum. You moaned loudly and pushed your head back while arching your back as you came, San's cock still buried inside you.
As you came, you clenched your cunt tightly, giving San's cock the right amount of pressure for him to cum as well. He moved up so he could hold your waist tightly and thrust a couple more times into your cunt. He groaned and sighed, meeting your same decibel as he filled the condom he had on his cock with his seed. Hs cock twitched and throbbed inside you as he finished, and he dropped his head back into the nook of your neck.
The two of you were breathing heavily at that point. You remained in a puddle on the bed as San got up to take the condom off and properly dispose of it before returning to your side. He wiped his fingers on one of the towels as you finally reopened your eyes to look right into his eyes, still afraid to see the damage done from him fucking you during your period.
"We should get cleaned up, baby," San said. "Why don't I help you?"
San tucked his arms beneath your back and legs, lifting you off the bed. You held onto his shoulders as he walked you to the bathroom.
"Besides," he continued. "We could always go for round two in the shower. Right, baby?"
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latenightdaydreams · 3 days
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WereWolf!König x New!Girl Pt2
Part 1
MDNI🔞
Master List ✍🏽
>cw: fem/afab, forceful, transformation, oral
1.7k word count
🐺
.
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The very next morning, König wakes up feeling invigorated. There is a peep in his step as he jumps out of bed, your scent lingers on his body. He can’t control his thoughts about you. The simple fact that he can’t be there with you right now is driving him insane. All he wants to do is rub his hands over every single inch of you.
While he usually only goes to the market once a week, he has to go back. Going straight to your home would be too obvious; too weird. The day seems to drag on until it’s late in the afternoon. He showers and quickly gets dressed to rush to the store.
You’re physically at work, but mentally miles away. On the side of your neck is a thick layer of make-up, hiding the bite marks from last night. It’s been a slow day so it’s easy to get lost in thought. When you squat down to restock, you feel a stinging pain shoot through your vagina. You tore, badly. As your eyes stare off into the distance, you accidently place toilet paper in the wrong spot.
“Y/n, hey. What are you doing?” Your uncle comes up behind you, chuckling at your mistake.
“Oh, sorry.” You snap out of it and pull the product back onto the cart. “I’m just so out of it today.”
“Are you doing okay?”
Just as you’re about to answer, the sound of a door shutting outside the store catches your attention. You stand to look over, seeing König walking towards the front door. Frank leaves your side to go greet his friend. A disappointed huff leaves your lips; you really needed to speak to someone.
“König! Did you forget something?”
“Ja, I did.” König chuckles, his eyes instantly landing on you as you walk back to the cash register.
“Well, I’m always glad to have your money.” Frank jokes.
König laughs, his eyes still on you. You linger behind the cash register now, seemingly far away. Hopefully thinking about your night together. He hates the restrictions of human civilization, forcing him to simply smile and nod in your direction as he continues on into the store; stopping where he can watch you from a distance.
“Uncle Frank, can we keep talking?”
“Yup!” He walks back to you and leans against the counter.
“Can you please listen to me without judgment?” You whisper, but König can still hear you.
“Absolutely.”
“I know you said there are no wolves around here, but last night I think one bit me.”
“What? A wolf?” Frank says loudly.
“Shh!” You place your finger over your lips. “Please be quiet. Can you please stay with me? I don’t want to leave alone.”
“Sweety, there are no wolves around here. You only think it bit you? Maybe it was a German Shepherd? Farmer Paul has one that’s a real ass—”
“It wasn’t a dog. It was massive.”
Frank shifts his weight and grabs his keys from his front pocket before letting out a sigh. He knows that you’ve been through a lot lately, but he doesn’t know what to say to you right now. König walks forward and approaches the two of you.
“I’m sorry to intrude, but did you say that a dog attacked you?”
You can feel yourself blush, feeling as if he will think that you’re crazy too. “A wolf.”
“And there aren’t any around here.” Frank says.
“No, there aren’t.” König looks at you and the worry in your eyes. If only he could reassure you that you’re safe with him. “But there is no harm in being safe. I could stay here with you while you close up.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“It’s really not an issue. I have no plans.” König gives you a warm comforting smile.
“Thank you, König.” Frank pats his shoulder.
“Not a problem.”
The last twenty minutes of work pass by quickly for you. König turns out to be a very flirtatious man, his charming smile and hypnotizing blue eyes making the fear of last night’s incident slip far away in your mind. While he may be a bit older than you, you find yourself beginning to like him in an odd way.
“It’s getting dark.” König says, looking out of the window before looking back at you. His once bright blue eyes now darkened, turning a deep yellow. The change is coming, and you’re trapped in here with him.
“It is.” You say as your back is turned to him. “I just have to go grab my keys and I’m ready to…leave.” Your voice drifts off as you turn to see König taking deep breaths, his eyes now animalistic.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you today, Maus.” König’s voice has turned raspy as his teeth grow.
“Y- y—” Words escape you as panic takes over your body.
“Don’t be afraid, please.” König slightly hunched over as you watch in horror. Skin falls from his body, replaced by the thick dark fur you remember from last night. His hands grow long claws that scratch the wall as he tries to balance himself.
A blood curdling scream bursts from your lips as König lets out loud groans of pain. Without a second thought you quickly turn on your feet and rush towards the break room door. Your feet carry you across the floor, just able to get to the door and slam it shut. Your fingers shake as you lock the door and rush to your locker to grab your keys.
From the other side of the solid wood door, you hear a loud howl. The sound makes your stomach flip. You stand still, not moving as you listen for any movement. For some reason you thought that he would give up and go hunt, but you’re proven wrong when you hear a loud banging against the door.
“Open.” König hits the door again, impatient and not wanting to play any games.
 “König! Please stop!” Your voice shakes.
“Mine. Open now.”
The next hit cracks the door, your eyes dart to the small window a few feet off the ground. While you might not fit, it's your only way out at this point. You rush to the collapsible table and drag underneath the window; watching your step you climb up and unlock the window. It opens so you turn yourself to the side and start to pull yourself out.
König continues to bang on the door, ready to break in to get to you. He knows once he can get his teeth on your neck you will calm down for him. Just then he hears a thud. His ears perk up before he turns and runs out of the shop quickly. In the dark night he looks around, spotting you running towards your car. Last time was too close, this time he has to be faster.
You get yourself off of the floor quickly, running to your car. As you reach in your pocket for your key, you realize the keys feel when you dropped from the window. “Fuck!” You should as you turn back to grab them. Just as you do, König appears around the corner and just stares at you, breathing heavily. He stands on two feet and holds a hand out for you to accept.
König looks into your eyes. As much as you want to deny him, he knows that you’re attracted to his human form and he knows you enjoyed begin fucked like a wild animal. Yet, that silly human brain wants to reject what it doesn’t understand. You turn and run. He watches you for a few seconds as you take off across the open field before taking off after you.
In no time he is right behind you, jumping to knock you off of your feet. You both crash to the ground, but he quickly recovers and mounts your much smaller body under his. He sticks his wet nose in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent again. He grabs a fist full of your hair and turns your face towards his.
“Mine.” He growls as he sits you up.
You gaze up at him as he stands. He gets closer to you, letting his erect, leaking cock linger in front of your face. A part of you is disgusted by the sight and smell, wanting to turn away and turn. There is another part of you that just wants to reach out and grab it. A small gasp leaves your lips when he grabs your hair again and tilts your head back.
König steps forward and pushes your face into his groin. The strong smell of his musk consumes your nostrils as his long cock rests along your face, his balls pressing against your mouth. You try to shake your head back and forth, to pull away; but you can’t. He holds you there longer for every moment you struggle.
“Lick.”
You part your mouth slightly, letting the tip of your tongue pass back and forth. His sweaty skin is salty, but you find yourself enjoying it. Slowly open your mouth more and let out more of your tongue to lick over his heavy balls.
König looks down at you with a pleased feeling. You’re finally giving into what you know you desire. He pulls back, dragging his cock across your face and down your tongue. A small growl leaves him as he watches your pretty lips carefully wrap around the head of his cock and sucking lightly. His hips push forward, shoving more of his cock into your mouth.
Your hands shoot to his thighs as you gag from him shoving his cock in too far. Tears begin to pool in your eyes as you try to maintain your composure. The girth of his cock causes your jaw to tire quickly, but you don’t dare try to pull away. Thick globs of spit fall from your mouth and fall on to your shirt.
When he pulls back, you cough and gasp for air. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as you pant. He watches you try to gather yourself, feeling proud of you for how well you’ve calmed down. His arms wrap around your body, lifting you up, and walking you into the woods so he can fuck you in his den.
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sweetestlamb · 2 days
Text
I Wanna do Bad Things to You
Authors note: honestly I was losing interest a bit and the second couple still has me in a chokehold but today's episode ate devoured and licked the plate clean. I have a million things I need to do right now but I wrote this instead🤷🏾‍♀️💃🏾
None of his fantasies could have ever prepared him for the vision Seok-ryu makes breathing hard beneath him, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen from their kissing.
Thoughts about her aren't new to him. Dirty thoughts about her are not new either. He's been locking his door since he first realized that his feelings for her were different from his feelings for Mo-eum.
He never dreamed about holding her hand, or kissing her or undressing her.
No. Those bad thoughts were reserved for one person and now she's under him staring up at him like she's having very similar thoughts and his thoughts are multiplying by the minute.
"What are you thinking about?"
'Giving you a hickie.'
But he only says that to himself in the safety of his mind because saying that out loud terrifies him and makes his palms too moist.
"Choiseung." She demands his attention again, as if he's not already too fixated on her.
"I'd.... rather not say." He whispers instead, leaning down to hide his face in the curve of her neck before he even realizes his mistake.
She grumbles underneath him but he melts at her hand settling in his hair, her fingers running through the thick strands. Nobody's ever caressed him like this before. He has the fight the moan that wants to escape.
"You're already breaking your promise."
That gets his attention and he shifts away, pining her with her eyes.
"What? What do you mean? What did I do?" He wants to fix whatever it is immediately, he can't handle another argument with her his heart felt like it would burst.
She seems stunned by his seriousness before she collects herself, "You said you wouldn't hide anything from me again. I want to know what you're thinking, whatever is making you look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're starving."
Her and these food analogies. But she's not wrong, he feels like he has been starving for years waiting, longing and wishing. Starved for her attention, her favour and her love.
"I'm hungry."
His eyes widen at the sudden announcement especially considering that they just ate, but maybe he can go outside and see if the store is still open and get her something to--
"Where are you going?" She huffs at him as he tries to detangle their limbs.
"You said that you're hun-
"Are you a virgin?"
He freezes and his brain short circuits before he can remind his lungs how to work and breathe again.
"Are you insane why would you ask me that?!"
"Woah. Look how red you got! Am I right? You're a virgin? Am I going to be your first?"
He stares at her slack mouthed before his competitiveness kicks in, she's always been the one to bring this petty immature side out of him.
Far too easily he grips both of her wrists in his hand and pins her hands to the bed over her head. She flails in his tight grip but he watches with fascination as her cheeks pinken and her eyes dilute.
Interesting.
"My first what? Are you offering Seok-ryu? Do you want it that badly?"
His nerves are still there but the desire to put her in her place overrides it momentarily.
But instead of arguing like she's supposed, like they've both been doing for years she zigs when he expects her to zag.
"What if I do? You're my boyfriend. Aren't I suppose to want you?" She stares back with open defiance, only she could make such a confession sound so aggressive.
"Seok-ryu..."
"I don't want to talk. Do I have to spell it out? I want you to -"
His lips slam into hers with a wet smack and he almost groans at how easily she opens up for him, kissing him back as if she's the one that's been pining for years. As if she wants him half as much as he wants her.
He jolts when her legs wrap around his waist, his hold on her wrists loosening for a moment.
When he can't resist the urge to grind into her heat he forces himself to pull away. They need to slow down this is...too much. Too fast.
"We should stop."
But that seems to be the last thing on her mind.
Instead she frees her hands and shoves them up his shirt, his stomach tightens at her touch and this time he isn't quick enough to swallow his reaction.
"Hey Seung-hyo when did you get abs? Is that why you think you can boss me around because you got some muscles?"
"You can't just touch me like that." She raises an eyebrow at his exclamation, challenge clear in her eyes.
"Oh. Why not? Aren't you my man? Can't I touch you just like this and even worst? If I can't touch you like this then who can?"
His jaw drops at her assertion and at the possessiveness in her tone.
He refuses to leave any room for a misunderstanding this time.
"Nobody. Only you."
She avoids eye contact but he doesn't miss the smirk on her lips and that twinkle in her eyes.
"But if you touch me like that then I'm going to get thoughts....I don't want to take advantage of you."
Her laughter is instant and he's tired of feeling like a fish out of water, she's his woman. He is allowed to act like it. He's done holding himself back.
So he retightens his grip on her hands and leans down to press a firm kiss to her neck. Then he waits and her reaction is immediate, her body bends to meet him giving him free range to explore.
Without hesitation he preseses another kiss opening his mouth to taste her and she moans in response.
"More."
That sends blood rushing through his entire body.
He kisses her again and again until she's twisting beneath him but he's too strong for her to break his hold, he shouldn't like that so much.
"I want to give you a hickie."
There. He's said it and if she says no that's fine this is still more than he ever hoped for, more than he deserves honestly. It's greedy of him to even want for more.
"Then do it."
And this time he hold on her completely loosens and she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him down again, pressing his face further into her neck with a quiet, "Mark me I want it."
He opens his mouth and sucks gently, teething at the thin skin there with the barest amount of pressure. He does it for a minute, lost in her scent and in her soft skin.
"Harder."
He hums into her neck in response, too enthralled to move away for even a second.
"You need to do it harder to leave a mark."
He ignores the tinge of jealousy that flares up at her obvious expertise, she's here with him now that's all that matters.
And he obeys her, open his mouth wider and sucking harder even biting at the last minute and he almost pulls away at her soft shout but she tightens her arms around him refusing to left him go.
"I'm fine you just surprised me. But I like it. I like everything you do to me. Don't stop."
He feels like he's drowning in his own pent up desires.
But he continues to suck and bite and lick at her skin before he realizes that his hips have been moving of their own accord, each gasp from her lips feels him leaving lightheaded and wound up too tight.
He needs to stop before it's too late.
The hickie is huge and red, he realizes that he might have overdone it especially with them trying to hide their relationship.
She's going to kill him.
"How is it? Are you proud of yourself?" She teases him and he can't deny that he loves seeing his mark on her, loves that she trusted him enough to let him do that.
"Who knew you were so possessive?"
He bristles at her taunting tone, "Like you're any better? What did you call me your ma-"
"Hey! Shut up, don't repeat the things I say in the heat of the moment that's embarrassing!"
And this time she pushes him away, and he lets her flopping onto her bed.
"I'm going to check out my hickie, see how much concealer I need to cover it."
And that has him bolting up in the bed, "Wait a second Seok-ryu!"
But he's too late and he watches her eyes flare with anger as she touches the large red mark on her neck in awed silence.
"It looks worst than it really is, it should fade by tomorrow I'm sure!" So similar to the words that she said to his crying six year old self and they both know how that turned out.
"I'm going to kill you!! What did you do to my beautiful neck? What are you a freaking vampire? I said mark me, not destroy my neck!"
And he jumps over the bed trying to get away from her and he can't help but laugh as she trips over her own feet trying to catch him.
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davey-in-a-minivan · 23 hours
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Isabel Lovelace My Absolute Beloved
Lovelace is one of my favorite examples of one of my favorite kinds of characters, which is: woman who the world is trying so hard to kill and emerges beat up and spitting out teeth and still going.
(Relatedly, Eva Olivia Moreno is one of the few White Vault characters I really loved and it's on the strength of the joy I felt when i realized that not only had Eva NOT died when a rockslide separated her from the team, but instead dragged herself three days over the mountains, alone, covered in mud and blood and bruises, WITH ALL THE TEAM'S DATA DRIVES, to let the world know what was going on and demand rescue for the others. LOVE HER. Alessandra "Cockroach" Strong of the Penumbra Podcast ALSO falls into this category and I would've loved to see more of her)
Interestingly, I think Lovelace plays a similar role in-universe for Eiffel and Minkowski, in that they first encounter her as a 'character' in old audio logs whose survival they are rooting for at a remove -- when Eiffel and Minkowski listen to her logs but it's unclear whether she made it off the station, Eiffel shushes Minkowski's skepticism and says "let me have my badass space commando chick!!" In the absence of conclusive evidence he clings to the idea that she survived, for what i suspect are two reasons: (1) it means it's possible to survive and gives him and Minkowski a sliver of hope, and (2) it's not fair for her to die after trying so hard to save herself and her crew, and if she survived he can believe that there's some fairness in the universe.
After Kepler shoots Lovelace, Minkowski tells an imagined Lovelace how badly she wanted to get Lovelace home because she wanted to believe that she could go home, which feels like an echo of Eiffel's earlier sentiment--obviously by now Minkowski knows and cares about Lovelace as a person, but she's also a symbol of the ultimate survivor, who will do whatever it takes to get home. If Lovelace, who fought harder and longer, with more skill and fewer limits than Minkowski finds herself capable of, and still didn't survive, what chance is there for Minkowski and her crew?
WHICH MAKES IT SO FUCKING SATISFYING WHEN LOVELACE LIVES AGAIN.
I need you all to know--Lovelace was "dead" for, what, an episode??--in that time my then-roommate and I put up a SHRINE to her memory. She was too cool and tragic and extreme and funny and hot to die!!!
I'm very glad the universe and Gabriel Urbina agreed.
It's not only satisfying because I'm obsessed with her and wanted her back (which I admit freely). It's a riveting development in the story of the unkillable Captain Lovelace where we finally see that she CAN'T be killed because she's already dead. Functionally she's a ghost in the story, haunting the Hephaestus until she finishes her unfinished business, and there's a delightful sheen of destiny to her arc where I was like oh fuck they've already done their worst to her and she's still going. She's going to win this. I don't know what it'll cost her, this could still be a tragedy, but she's GOING to succeed.
What does this mean for the rest of the original crew looking to her as a symbol? Eiffel, Minkowski and Hera do survive, like Lovelace. It is possible. But it costs them a lot. Weeks after Lovelace dies, resurrects, and has the day-ruining revelation that she's actually the alien clone of the dead woman she thought she was haha, she talks about the discomforting effort she makes to be the real Lovelace, not the person that Goddard turned her into. I think once they return to Earth the rest of the crew will struggle in similar ways. Minkowski need to believe that Lovelace could come home, and she did. But none of them could be the same as they were before.
Now, obviously the extremes Lovelace had to go to in pursuit of survival and justice were difficult and upsetting for her. But they were also hot!! SO let's wrap this up with some of the most iconic Lovelace moments according to me:
1. The "run and hide" monologue Eiffel and Minkowski find - HOT. sorry i know this comes on the heels of her describing the harrowing tragedy of her crew members' deaths but like
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that's hot!!! go girl, kill em all!!!
2. THE DEAD MAN'S SWITCH. she said im going big AND going home, through the power of insane resourcefulness and this nuclear bomb i made
3. "variations on a theme" is suuuch a good minisode
4. disabling the airlock during the clone jacobi situation without telling anyone
5. NAPALM
6a. broadly, the hostage situation during the coup, where she goads kepler into focusing on her instead of eiffel
6b. SPECIFICALLY the part of the hostage situation where she gets the show's one "fuck"
7. alien possession lovelace!!!! i know it wasn't quite her melting kepler's hand off but god it's a fun scene
8. time loop lovelace. i love a good time loop and the contrast between her yelling and goading and shooting things in the last argument but also being, like, pretty chill and pragmatic about it--this is just her method of causing enough trouble to break the loop--is fun
9. hera's and her intersecting journeys re: what it means to be a person
10. distracting cutter so minkowski can stab him with the harpoon!!!!!!
in conclusion: WHAT A CHARACTER
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Text
what if?
Wille opens the window all the way to the end and takes a long, deep breath. He ran away like a complete idiot only because Simon held his hand. He tries to control his breathing, sitting on the windowsill when he hears the footsteps coming towards him. And just his luck, it is Simon. Of course it is him. 
Wille can tell that Simon is nervous with his hunched shoulders, fisted hands, and averted eyes making his way towards him but he is taking very slow, small steps, as if he is not even sure he should follow Wille when he is the one Wille escaped from earlier. At least that is what Simon would be thinking if he were him. Simon is not making eye contact, not even looking at his face, and Wille thinks he fucked up really badly, but why would Simon be here if he did?
Simon, sweet and caring Simon, asks him if he is okay, and Wille knows he is replying, but he is sure he is not making any sense, talking about getting fresh air and cramped toes. What the hell was that?
“I should–” Simon points behind his back, ready to leave, and it is the last thing Wille wants. “The movie is so good, I can’t miss that,” Simon teases, rolling his eyes, and Wille laughs too. He really likes it when Simon is playful and sarcastic. “I better get back now,” he says, but he still doesn’t make a move. Maybe Simon is stalling, and he also doesn’t want to leave yet. Wille should say something to make him stay, but he can’t think of anything. Just when Simon turns to leave, he leans forward to catch a handful of his shirt and pulls him to himself as a very desperate attempt, and Simon simply complies. Wille didn’t think this through, and now Simon is right in front of his face, only a breath apart. He can hear nothing but their quickened breathing at the moment, and he makes up his mind, looking at Simon’s lips first and then he leans in.
And Simon kisses him back.
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theoceanoasis · 3 days
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Hope you are better
You could continue the au where Roddy is a mer that his owners want him to have babies but they don't want it to be with a couple so Roddy stays beautiful and they can show him off.
It could be something like Roddy in the absence of his mate and the depression that caused him to start losing his colors because he got sick from loneliness and his owners first try to get him healed, but when he doesn't get better they throw him away. He should be rescued by an aquarium that has a sanctuary of mers that were in captivity. He may find friends there to help him, but whoever saved him (perhaps Ratchet or Perceptor) may look for his mate because he could inevitably die if he remains separated from Soundwave.
I love the drama and You have de touch to write it <3
His owners banged on the glass and he moaned feeling a headache form. His whole body hurt as he laid there wrapping his tail around himself.
He was exhausted and couldn't do anything except sleep. Outside his tank he could hear his master's talking obviously unhappy.
They couldn't shock him because they didn't want to risk the pups he was carrying. The thought made him unbearably sad and he felt like crying because he didn't have a mate.
He was all alone and he didn't want to be alone anymore he wanted his mate. He sobbed uncontrollably calling out for someone who couldn't answer.
Pharma ended up being called and roughly looked him over. Even though he was carrying pups he'd lost weight from not eating. His once vibrant colors were slowly turning gray as he refused to take care of himself. Unable to live without his mate.
Mers swam in pods because they were social creatures. When they mated with someone it was for life and if something happens to their mate they oftentimes don't survive.
Pharma looked irritated as he checked him over and then told his mater's the news. Neither of them looked happy and he found himself listening in.
The facility that was keeping his mate had been seized. The mers had been taken and Pharma couldn't get him.
When he heard this he sobbed and refused to do anything just wanting to die. He didn't care anymore and was tired of living. All he wanted was his mate and now he'd never get him.
His master's were angry by this change and no amount of banging on the glass or threatening could make him do anything.
They were disgusted by how he looked. Instead of the pretty multicolored mer they used to have. They now had a scraggly looking mess who was an ugly gray color.
Whenever they saw him they sneered obviously unhappy with his appearance and wanting Pharma to do something.
The doctor of course informed them there was nothing he could do. Without his mate he was going to die and they might as well get rid of him.
His master's decided to do exactly that and ended up dumping him somewhere. It was a shady facility where the water was always dirty and the mers were starved. None of them said anything too exhausted and sick all of them looking about ready to die with their dull colors.
Then one day police came and the mers were transported to different facilities. He didn't care and just laid there not doing anything as he was loaded up. He was so exhausted and he just wanted to die.
He was introduced to a man named Ratchet who looked him over. Unlike with Pharma his checkup didn't hurt.
When Ratchet realized he was sparked he looked worried and decided to closely monitor him. The facility he was inside was a lot nicer and he had more freedom. The people who worked there treated all of them with respect and no one ever hurt him.
Even though life was better he continued to lay on the floor refusing to move. He barely ate only eating when Ratchet made him as he waited to die. He wanted his mate so badly and he continued crying out for him.
Ratchet and some of the others tried asking questions. All of them thought his mate was dead until he informed them that they'd never even met. He didn't even know his mates name and the only thing he had to remember him by was his pups and his smell.
Even after everything he was determined to remember that much. Just in case they ever had the chance to meet. Even though he knew it was unlikely.
The workers at the facility though seemed determined to help him find his mate something that gave him hope and made him try to live. Which made Ratchet happy.
He didn't know how long they'd been trying to find his mate but he knew his pups would be coming soon. His instincts were telling him to prepare even if it felt wrong not having his mate with him.
He should be helping him set up his nest and get everything ready for their pups. Instead he was having to do it alone and it filled him with sadness.
The staff who worked at the facility couldn't help him because they were busy getting ready for a transfer.
He was a dangerous mer who's last chance at survival was this facility, otherwise he would have to be put down. He couldn't return to the ocean after what's been done to him but he was too violent to keep at a facility. He had hurt numerous people and mers who'd gotten too close and after severely injuring someone at the last facility he was transferred here.
Finishing with his nest he found himself watching as a truck pulled up. He wasn't really paying attention and was just listening to the staff talk amongst each other in the hopes of helping him feel less alone.
The door opened and there was a shout of alarm as a mer crawled out. He looked pissed and his fangs snapped at anyone who came too close.
He watched as the mer looked around the facility and the two of them made optic contact. He froze unable to move as the two stared at each other.
His optics widened when he recognized the smell and he found himself crying out for his mate. The mer must have also realized something because he dragged himself over. Both of them were calling to each other and if it wasn't for his belly getting in the way. He would have jumped out of the tank he was inside.
Soundwave rushed forward ignoring the facilities staff as he climbed into the tank with him. He could hear people frantically talking but he didn't care.
The two of them wrapped their arms and tails around each other and he cried in his arms. The mer touched a gentle hand on his belly looking shocked and happy when he realized he was sparked.
He cuddled against him never wanting to separate from him again.
"My names Hot Rod."
"Soundwave."
His mate pulled him closer and bit down on his neck to claim him. He shivered from the pain and then moaned when warmth flooded his body.
Soundwave's spike came out and he pressed it into his leaking slit causing him to gasp. He felt him slide all the way inside and it felt like coming home.
The two of them fragged for hours and only stopped when Soundwave ended up inducing labor.
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all-pacas · 3 days
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i think you're deeply in denial about being a chase/cam shipper or you gotta change your definition of shipping or something. because whatever you're doing here absolutely 100% looks like shipping them. to the untrained eye
in reality i have this very multi long paragraph disclaimer that's too convoluted to even explain but here ya go:
they are my two favorite characters
i like seeing them interact because of this fact
i find their deeply complimentary set of flaws fascinating. i love seeing cameron in a Relationship because she's such a fucking unreliable narrator about herself. i like seeing chase in a relationship because the very concept of "putting someone besides yourself first" is so antithetical to him and the opposite of what he has learned his whole life. i want to put them in a room together. i want cameron to talk at glowing length about her soulmate dead husband and how she watched him die and i want chase to talk about watching his mother die and how much he hates and resents her. i don't know where that conversation would go but i Want It. it's like how i want chase and 13 to talk about murder and redemption together. it is a platonic smashing together of fake people, not about making them kiss
i think they were badly written in the sense that like. there's no writing. they're just together. now they're not. now chase has feelings. do we see them? no. now cameron has feelings. do we see them? no. now they date for three years. as someone who likes writing and narrative this drives me insane because it's so lazy.
i think i could do it better, not in a "because i want to write uwu fixit fanfic where they kiss" way but in a "this sort of writing drives me insane" way. like. huddy was badly written too but it very much existed. cameron and chase are just "oh btw chase fell for her at some point for some reason during fwb." why???? we can handwave but there is NOTHING IN CANON. cameron likes him too! why??? WHO KNOWS
however i also find it annoying when people go "solution: they never dated, we pretend it never happened" because that's ALSO lazy and retcons several years of canon including cameron's exit from the show. including the actual character development chase gets, which i actually do like. i think i'm a rare person who almost prefers late series chase. i like short haired chase. and i don't like the idea of erasing all that canon development just because "uwu i don't like it" (or, more petty, because "uwu i think cameron should have kissed x -- usually house -- so i hate this canon relationship that like it or not did exist")
this ties in to my actual fairly complicated feelings about cameron and how a lot of fandom tends to Girlboss her up in obvious and admirable contrast to her years of reddit-ish character bashing. where i admire the Spirit but deeply dislike this Girlboss characterization.
basically i am a deeply contrary person by nature
so whenever i see this ship i go IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER, and OUT OF SPITE I WILL DEFEND IT, which is a whole perpetual motion machine of feelings
i honestly could not care less about them kissing. except for the specific episodes where they allude to having a sex life and foreman all but flees the room. i actually care quite a lot about that, i think it's super funny. so in that context (in front of foreman, to troll him) i want them to make out.
i've gone and read old ffn stories from when the show was airing that featured them as a couple. like from true fans and believers of the ship. i disagree with almost all of it and think usually cameron and usually chase are ooc in these stories. but in different ways. this also triggers my spite
so sure. yes. i ship it. probably,
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meimi-haneoka · 10 months
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Thanks so much for answering my asks! It's an interesting point you brought up about Yukito reverting back to his original self. So now I'm just wondering to what extent, Kaito rewrote the world. Like Touya can still use time magic, though I suppose that's more of an innate skill rather than magic that he got from somewhere. And like you said, Ruby and Spinel are still in Tomoeda even though their original "reason" for coming is no longer valid in the rewritten world. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on this if you have any insights!
For Akiho and Kaito, how do you think their relationship dynamics will change now that they decided to continue their travels? Now that they are both free to do what they truly want. Plus, we've seen Akiho's more assertive side too in the recent few chapters. I feel like Akiho might start calling the shots more now, and Kaito agreeing to her every request (more so than before 🤣) As the both of them continue to grow and heal together, I feel that there's alot of potential for future short chapters (hopefully!!) To show different areas of their lives. Both of them have really grown on me! Truly wish for them to have the happiness they did not have before, and live the life they want. TOGETHER. I'm not on tumblr much so I don't see firsthand the hate they get, and to be honest, at the start of the serialization I was abit hesitant about trusting Kaito too, given that I was already attached to Sakura and he seemed to be manipulating both the girls (especially how he was portrayed in the EN translation and the anime). But again, along the way, after seeing more and more of how he treated Akiho, and seeing his motivations and reason for doing it (your translation posts helped alot with that too), I've definitely softened alot towards him. It's sad that some people still can't see that. 😕
Hello again! Today I feel a bit better so I'm going to answer this ask ❤️
So now I'm just wondering to what extent, Kaito rewrote the world. Like Touya can still use time magic, though I suppose that's more of an innate skill rather than magic that he got from somewhere.
From what we know, Kaito rewrote everything connected to his existence and to the existence of the Clear Cards...since Yukito made that pact with the Shrine in consequence of the situation that arised with the Cards, that had to go too. It's like Kaito wrote a giant "you won't have to worry over anything" in his script. Yes, I think Touya's powers stayed because they're innate.
And like you said, Ruby and Spinel are still in Tomoeda even though their original "reason" for coming is no longer valid in the rewritten world.
Yes, in fact in the rewritten world Kero mentions they came "for visiting"! 😅That damn Kaito really thought of everything....
For Akiho and Kaito, how do you think their relationship dynamics will change now that they decided to continue their travels?
Here comes this stupid blog owner's squeal whenever she has to answer to a question about Kaito and Akiho 😂
Ohohoh, their relationship is going to keep evolving a lot, from how I see it. Like, if for SyaoSaku I can see a more quiet, peaceful type of development typical of school sweethearts in the next years, for YunaAki I see a more nuanced evolvement. Because they're not SyaoSaku, they have different personalities, different backgrounds, different traumas in their baggages that they have to heal from, a difference in age... There's so much to work with, if sensei really wanted to write a spin-off about them...
Like. Akiho does have undoubtedly lots in common with Sakura, but she also got quite a different personality. She's been mad at Kaito for more than a month, and who knows how long she'll be. OF COURSE he made a big mess (and I'm not joking, this represented a tear in their relationship and they'll have to mend it with patience), so it's totally normal, but for example I don't think Sakura would've been mad at Syaoran for this long.
The assertiveness you detected from Akiho in the last chapters, has actually been going on for long time. In chapter 48, she found the courage to make a love confession, even if in a covert way.
In chapter 52, she insisted 3 times with Kaito to know if he was feeling ill or not. When she saw he insisted in covering it up, she tried to tell him very clearly that she was there for him, young and inexperienced as she was, but that he didn't have to face all of this alone. He ran away and shut a door in her face.
In chapter 53, after such a disgraceful behavior from Kaito, one that would've made any girl cry and backtrack in defeat (always remember why he did it, though...), what did this girl do? Arranged an entire date without telling him anything and literally dragged him out with a "we're going out today", NO BUTS! Akiho had learned in chapter 52 that "asking" doesn't get any result from Kaito, if she wants something from him (and in that case she wanted him to have some relaxing time), she has to take it by force 😅just like Momo cheered her on! 😂
Chapter 57, following what she learned, she "ordered" him to rest, "using" her role as master (and he's the "butler") because she knows that's the only way he'll listen.
Chapter 58, once again, when Kaito started talking in a derogative manner about himself, Akiho's nerves were put to test once again, and so she rose up the couch and in a quite "irritated" manner she expressed her frustration at his behavior.
Akiho's assertiveness with Kaito has gradually but steadily progressed from halfway the story and it's been an amazing journey to watch, from here. I almost feel pity for those who never realized it, because they truly missed something good. It's good to watch a girl find her identity and her voice. As I always say, Akiho flourishes thanks to Kaito and her feelings for him, turning into the best version of herself. This process had its culmination in chapter 78, where Akiho went full out in expressing her feelings on the matter. Akiho is just perfect for Kaito. Because that's what Kaito needs, he's an incredibly stubborn person (CLAMP said so themselves) so he needs someone strong enough to hold the reins and not be knocked down by his bullsh*t. Not everyone can handle Kaito, and he won't let just anyone get "access" to him in that way. Akiho IS strong enough to handle him, she already can now that she's 13, it'll only get better the more she grows up.
Being the balanced half of the pair, Akiho won't only demand from Kaito, of course she'll also encourage him to heal and to find his true worth, something he wants to do for himself. Because we all know that the MAJOR problem that brought to the big mess that happened in Clear Card was his self-loathing, in the first place.
I picture Kaito being always the same oblivious dork even when they'll grow up, while Akiho will surprisingly be the more "flirty" one 😂you would never expect it from her, since she's also very sweet...but she's got scars of her own she needs to heal from, and Kaito will help her with that too, a lot.
As he learned the hard way from this painful experience, Kaito will start to trust that he's not alone and there's really someone out there who loves him, and that he doesn't need to take all the burden of things alone. That what he can do, to make his loved one happy, is to start loving himself more, first and foremost.
They have a strong vibe of "completing" eachother, and it's telling that they've spent the first part of their life together with Kaito trying to find a way to "heal" Akiho, and now they'll be travelling to find a way to heal Kaito.... They might be broken people, but when they put together the pieces of their jagged hearts, something gentle is born, as Aimer said in her "Hana no Uta" song (one of the first songs I've ever associated with YunaAki).
...Yeah, it's like I could already picture all of this, exactly in this way, already halfway through the story, that's why I started to like them so much and hoping in a happy ending for them. I saw all the signs, and they all paid off, because CLAMP were quite transparent in what they wanted to portray.
Of course before then, I was wary of Kaito too, just like you. Especially in the beginning, if you read back my old posts of 2017/2018 you can get all the evidences....but that was part of the game because that's exactly how CLAMP wanted us to feel. I played their game and I'm happy about what I won. 😊
...still, I hope they're going to find Momo soon 😂
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lazylittledragon · 2 months
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i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen
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swordmaid · 4 months
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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just-spacetrash · 15 days
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#not feeling so great as of lately#i thought it was just that i was thinking about stuff at a too late of a time yesterday but now its morning and i still feel bad#sure i slept very badly so maybe its still that but idk it still doesnt feel great no matter what the reason is#i feel like. so annoying lately#and like yea maybe i am and it shouldnt matter yk like all that ur allowed to be annoying and just be urself and whatever#but it just of takes a lot out of u when u t talk about ur interests or ur day or smth ands like everyone just brushes it off or ignores u#and obviously im probably being dramatic like this is a busy time of the year!#and its not always about me and like other ppl have their reasons to do what they do u know#but it still feels bad :'))#also this isnt about like anyone specific its like a combination of little things that FEELS bad to ME not a thing someone else does#like i know ppl dont have to care about stuff yk i like that i KNOW they dont care about so like what do i expect#and i dont ever know what to say to stuff idk anything about either so its very understandable#but its took me years to like. talk about things i like without prompting so it feels like a big hit when i dont get any reaction back fsgsh#and thats not trying to blame anyone else either its not anybody elses fault im not good at something#i think my kind of insecurity is showing one of my friends had to reassure me that yes they do want to hear how im doing fsgsh#but im thankful for that it feels good to hear when ur feeling kind of unstable with ur relationships fshsh#also since i am feeling like. unstable on EVERY relationship i suspect its just seasonal depression or stress or something#still wont stop the brain from like trying to blame itself lmao#this is kind of stupid idk what im trying to even say here#my post#vent#maybe ill delete it later?? this feels stupid
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sylvies-kablooie · 3 months
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i wasnt planning on watching agatha all along but you made me want to see the trailer at least to see if i was interested and like 20 seconds in i turned it off bc i hate watching trailers for things im excited for thank you show looks so fun
my influence... <3
#yessss i love infectious excitement!!!#in all seriousness i am SO excited!! it's being led by the creator of wandavision so i know it will be good#man i don't really blog about it as much because it was a TOTALLY different experience for me than loki but wandavision was my fave tv#experience EVER. it was at the height of marvel hype so every week you'd have these wild theories swarming about.#everyone was constantly yelling about mephisto#i was still in high school and kids would set alarms to wake up when the episodes dropped and then we'd talk about it at school#it was SO communal in a way we don't really get anymore because people are burnt out when it comes to superheroes (which is valid bc same)#also. just the use of television history as a medium to explore grief.#HELLO??? jac schaeffer you are a genius??? oh my god???#progressing from the black and white romanticized 1950's to the jolly family 70's to the dry 2010's like oh my gosh.#and just when you think you understand the tone of the show something creepy will happen and it would always take my breath away#the suspense was killer. and you wanted to know so BADLY what was really going on. because it was all too good to be true. we saw him die.#AUGH! i have such fond memories. especially when agatha all along was dropped on itunes omg there were jokes!#anyway. this is a very long ramble but i loved wandavision but sort of in a way where i don't even want to blog about it#because honestly i have nothing to add to the conversation. it just was (to me) perfect.#so i have high hopes. and a devastating crush on aubrey plaza since i was 14. and deep reverence for patti lupone as a theatre kid.#and joe locke serves down. we know this to be true. and he'll be playing BILLY??? oh just strike me down NOW it's so good#also i have the utmost faith in kathryn hahn. she is so naturally funny and good at her job. i'm glad she's getting her flowers.#so yay! i'm happy you're excited too!#juni answers
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jimmystrudel · 5 months
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5 year dog plan updates: I think I've identified a breed (and 3 potential breeders), I have more clearly figured out what I don't want and what my life style will not fit and most important I need more experience with dogs in general
#so over a year ago i started doing research on owner training a service dog and i was in contact with a GSD breeder who had a puppy left#over from their last litter who was very hamdler engaged (this obviously fell through because i realized i was just too short on time before#uni and now knowing more about temperaments and genetics i wouldn't go gsd but this was a great breeder)#with what i know know i a) do not want a herding breed it would be incredibly overwhelming and b) would prefer a medium sized dog (if i find#a poodle or lab breeder I'm obsessed with I'd still go that route unfortunately my fav poodle breeder with multi sd's in their line/#offspring is in Arizona and that's basically a no go#my favourite dogs are mid sized gun dogs which do not make good prospects (see the stinky girl in her window bird watching rn) i also have#tons of experience with a Brittany spaniel and know my personal dream dog is very similar (slightly lower energy and prey drive) which puts#show-line English springer spaniels as the breed I'd be happy with and while they do great as police sniffer dogs and therapy dogs there#aren't tons as service dogs because they can be too high energy and unfocused (i know that their energy would not be a big issue if we#create good settling habits) and i really appreciate them being soft mouthed for certain tasks and my apartment is very close to tons of#river paths so we are good for breed specific enrichment and fun#i just really want more dog sitting experience and to sit in on training sessions with other people over the next few years#because I've stalked ess breeder who is so transparent and has tons of show experience and does incredible socialization#they would also just be really good people to talk to about the breed#i just there are reasons the popular breeds are popular but i find herding dogs incredibly overwhelming and labs and goldens put everything#in their mouths and end up sick from it (I've also mcas reactions after petting all the goldens in my neighborhood)#and poodles are smarter than me and i am a low maintenance grooming girl (i could handle shave done with poms though)#i have no poodle experience outside badly bred Doodles#of popular breeds the one I'd work best with is a bernese mountain dog but they are a grooming challenge and I'm going to live in a smallish#apartment and exclusively use public transit (the fab 3 would also struggle a bit with this since they are mid-large(
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finexbright · 5 months
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#i haven't really participated in any discourse as of late but watching that movie kinda made me think about dwd and mp#like. we know the holivia mess was such a shit show and i know that they wanted to make it look like they met on set or whatever#but i think that that stunt was in the works way before the movie deal even happened#we know that harry was seen with the mp novel in 2019. which isn't out of the norm for him because he has previously owned art by queer#artists. so in that moment of time it passed by easily. however now that we know that harry literally read that novel letter to letter and#convinced the director/producer that he would be best for the role it means that he's wanted to be part of it since 2019 itself#knowing that i think his team was already on the lookout for a role for him where he could play the straightest man possible to cover up his#role in mp. dwd was also in the talks for quite some time before that given that the script#was out in 2019 and olivia acquired it in the same year too. while yes shia was originally cast for it and we all know how that ended#but i'm just thinking about how mp started in 2019 too and dwd started around the same time his team was definitely aware of it#and it aligned perfectly that shia fell out of the movie and harry got the role and olivia got the contract of her lifetime#like. i don't think that harry organically got the role and then the stunt happened. i think harry getting the movie was FOR the stunt to#happen so that it could overlap his role in mp#i fully think the contract was ''you get an actor and a public boyfriend and we get a beard and a public straight narrative''#so like tldr version : harry wanted mp badly enough that his team found the most straight role for him and saddled him with a beard to cover#up his role in mp. and it worked too because his scenes in dwd blew up and people still thirst over that#even though mp got way more success than dwd did#which is also why they were pushing so hard for it to be a theatre release first and then onto streaming unlike mp which went to streaming#straightaway. apart from the select few theatre releases they did#and also like. so many actors who have played queer roles in media get asked about their sexuality repeatedly. like kit connor#or nicholas galitzine to the point where it becomes an obsessive need for the public to know about it#and by doing this harry doesn't get asked about it explicitly (maybe he has them banned idk) and still gets to do whatever he wants however#he wants. okay byeeeee#my policeman#don't worry darling
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vegaseatsass · 5 months
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I'm so exhausted I don't really know where or how to begin my one-day weekend, have spent the day just kind of collapsed into executive dysfunctional confusion when what I WANT to do is post on tumblr about gay tv
#i wanna talk about 23.5 because the latest ep made me feral but for like side couples#i LOVE the main couples but nidabambam and mawinton make me insane#i was rooting for aro ton but now i want mawinton so badly#there's something that happens with the ships that aren't the advertised pairs so whether they happen or not isn't prescribed#i know mawintinh is what everyone on tumblr wants and it's not like i would be unhappy with that ok#but mawinton both obsessed with other people and relationships and oblivious to how they already have a boyf -#thats my shit.#tinh just seems so uninterested in mawin rn too whereas ton is laser focused#and to put a character like charoen into a yuri like come on how many of us who DIDN'T 'just know' we were not into boys#picked a dude to crush on from afar and then went EUGH STOP WHY IS THIS HAPPENING if/when he actually spoke to us#that is way too familiar a narrative to put in a GL and then resolve with her getting with a guy i'm sorry#but her and ton becoming besties who love shipping OTHER people together. hell yes lmfao#that's what i'm talking about! two people who think they like each other but actually just enjoy doing fandom together <3#buddhism fandom and friend fiction fandom#anyway i can't believe i spent that many words on them but i'm truly invested now. FLOWERS AND KNEE TOUCHES FOR MAWINTON#and i don't even know where to begin with nidabambam??????????????????#i thought this would be us projecting headcanon onto some women who had some nice scenes together#i didn't dare hope for ?????? lucky/unlucky protective/clumsy glorious t4t grown woman love story#what the heck i felt like my brain was unravelling as i watched them#they really stumbled(/carefully protected the other from stumbling) their way into a STARGAZE DATE#what the heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i think something magical just happens when you hit a certain point in a story and you've LET the main couples grow and evolve#so they're more or less together and it's hilarious and adorable (oh my god ongsa and aylin taking initiative oh my god)#but they also leave narrative space for MORE LOVE STORIES IN THE BEAUTIFUL ENSEMBLE#and that's where i start to lose control apparently#23.5#23point5#dear diary
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