#I was gonna hold onto this until [redacted] but fuck it

[birgittesilverbae]

- the woman in the church, who was she?

- you met her earlier this week on another assignment.

- i knew her.

winter soldier!ava silva

[defectivefanboy]

Hello, hello my dear!

I really would like to request something, since you asked for it and hell yes the last episode was a banger. I love your Crimson HCs and I think you captured him really well. But I would like to read some nice HCs about the loveliest Prince of Hell, Stolas himself maybe got a little love interest in a Singer Succubus he met at Ozzies? Maybe she got something alluring to caught his eyes. (I don't mind if there are some nsfw parts)

Best regards

Ciel ♡

yall got me fucked up for saying this again, but still making me want to write the story (especially this request, it's like holding a carrot in front of the horse rn) but I will say my piece. I hope it was just a slip of the mind BUT I DO NOT WRITE FEMALE READER fuck I care if you read my writing, but the more it happens the more I'm pushed to write a cock onto the reader. I did ask for request so im not gonna complain anymore.

I would like to read some nice HCs about the loveliest Prince of Hell, Stolas himself maybe got a little love interest in a Singer Succubus he met at Ozzies? Maybe [REDACTED] got something alluring to caught his eyes. (I don't mind if there are some nsfw parts)

Overall Notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.

C/W: SFW - NSFW(suggested/mentioned), Lots of song quotes, Suggestive behavior, mentions of alcohol/smoking, platonic flirting from Ozzie/Fizz, reader serves cunt /positive, low-key himbo reader, special guests Ozzie's other faces, I love them,

Notes: All music used and referenced too will be noted at the bottom. I realize I take so long on writing its like bad. I can either do it for hours on end or I have to split it up. Never in-between. Also tell me why I found myself at 1 in the morning listening to bird sounds to try and be accurate.

Sip the Gossip...

Giggles

Hoot hoot boy

my dear beloved

My dear Icarus

Anyways...

Ahem...

He never saw himself coming back to the lust ring after the first time.

Truth be told he hoped it was the last time as well.

But alas he found himself wondering around the ring once more

Stolas wasn't looking for anything when he came to the Lust Ring

Well,,. he was looking for something, more so someone

And that was a meeting with Prince Asmodeus himself

Truth be told, it's not too hard to find the bright and extravagant circus tent like building.

Flashing lights drawing a demon in like a moth to a flame.

Matched with the loud music that reverberated across the ring

Yet, it was a hassle to find the damned three faced demon prince, an even bigger challenge to get a moment with him alone.

And the moment he finally got to talk to him. Just as he was about to ask him to take this somewhere private. Just as he was about to get the words out. Just as he was about to ask for a crysta-

A voice rang out behind him, taking Asmodeus's attention away from a now annoyed owl.

Stolas turned around with a huff, his tail feathers ruffling in irritation, as his entire body puffed up in anger and mock intimidation.

Only to be stopped in his tracks once again as soon as he peered down below.

The soft flick of a heart shaped tail and pointed blacks horns with soft cracks of red running through them entered his view.

A mischievous succubus made their way past him and stood in front of Asmodeus.

The cheeky smile on their face caught Stolas by the tongue as they interacted with the prince of lust.

"Quite popular tonight huh, Oz? It's not too often you work the floor." A snicker came from the succubus as they passed by the goetia without a second glance. Stolas watched as they did a little handshake with the other, before Asmodeus softly placed a hand on their back. "My, my, you're here early~ Looking for some private time with your favorite prince~?" Asmodeus said, his two other faces cooing at the succubus.

A soft blush rose to Stolas's face at the lewd comment as he looked between the two. "You need to pay the dancers before you touch them, big guy." They said with emphasis on their words as they gently pushed his hand off them before turning and looking up to Stolas with a mischievous smile.

"Right, Feathers?"

They left right after their jest

And Stolas was left lapping at his tongue

Asmodeus continued on with their conversation as if nothing happened

Like he didn't just forget what he came here for.

But god. did he know what was gonna make him keep coming back.

And it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Ozzie, who swiftly invited him to tonights show.

Gotta be a good host at the end of the night right?

Residing in a balcony seat, Stolas was left on his own while Asmodeus went backstage to settle some issues.

Stolas fiddled with his phone as he watched the countless tables of couples from up above.

Maybe it was stupid to accept the offer to stay. Maybe he should just go home-

"Bartender~ I really did it the time! Need a couple shots for a good time!"

Oh. He remembers why he's here now.

Soft curious hoots came form him as he peered over the railing watching you talk to guest and other dancers.

You wore a simple black outfit as you leaned against the bar.

He had to stop himself from taking a photo of you covering your face when you laughed at a patron's comment.

The playful smile on your face as you took the drinks brought a small one to his face as well.

It soon took a full on blush when you peered up at him, raising your glass in a cheers to him.

Poor thing didn't know what to do with himself as his brain became a literal bird brain.

Shooting back in his seat he raised a hand raised to cover his face as he broke out into a soft fit of giggles and coo's

you gave a soft smile before walking back behind stage, waving bye to others as you passed by.

Maybe he really did have a thing for red~

Sitting up in his seat he fixed his clothing and feathers as the lights dimmed

"Hello perverts, pervettes, and the freaks who like everything in between~ I hope you are all ready for the show tonight! We have something very special for everyone, me included~"

Stolas remembered him from the last time he was here

The clown's vibrant color scheme and loud persona was hard to forget

As he pranced around the stage announcing tonights agenda, a figure emerged from the curtain behind him

Gaining a bit of courage back he straightened his back and cleared his throat

"Asmodeus, I wanted to ask about that succubus from before if that was alright?"

"I hope it's not to make a formal complaint now. I was just starting to like ya' feathers." A playful voice rang out form behind him

His eyes widened as he softly gulped and turned around in his chair

Stolas was met with a familiar smile that held the same playful tone as their comment.

Instead of the black outfit you had on earlier it looked as if you were there to hang out with him

A pair of comfy pants and oversized hoodie to match, he had to restrain himself from squeezing your face in his hands

With a soft ruffle of his feathers he softly leaned into you with an awkward smile

Making himself smaller, he peered down at the figure before him as he stuttered over his words

"Satans No! No nothing like that. I- uh, I, wanted to ask if you were a worker here?"

"Ooh! You wanted to buy a dance? Well~ you'll have to wait until after the show, but I'll find you after, yeah?"

With the flash of a smile they left as quick as they came and Stolas is left with one thought...

"Oh, I have got to fuck them"

Not too long after they left, the curtains behind him pushed over once again. This time revealing Asmodeus, who had a cheeky grin on his face as he pulled his seat out.

"I hope I didnt keep you waiting too long, now. I had to deal with a few things out back stage." He said as he made himself comfortable next to Stolas. Quick to shake his head Stolas sat up in his chair, dusting himself off a bit as the lights faded to black around them. Spotlights circled around the stage as music slowly built up around them.

The lights slowed and focused on the middle of the curtains that hung at the back of the stage. The curtains flung open and revealed the succubus in a black and red outfit that didn't leave much for Imagination, not that Stolas was complaining. A chorus of la's came from their lips as the lights dimmed around them to a single spotlight.

"Oh baby, baby, have you seen Amy tonight? Is she in the bathroom, is she smoking up outside?" The slowly made their way down the stage, looking at the crowd as they sang the song and made small gestures with their hands.

They made their way to the end the stage, leaning down closer to the guest in the front row. "Oh, baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that I'mma buy her? Do you know just what he likes?" Before they said their last line they gave a sly look up to the balcony with a quick wink for walking back down.

"Oh, tell me, have you seen her? 'Cause I'm so, oh I can't get her off of my brain." Each note was staccato at the end, they're danced following along with the words. "I just wanna go to the party she gon' go. Can somebody take me home? Ha, ha, he, he, ha, ha, ho" With a mischievous glint in their eyes they looked at Stolas once more with their words. Whether it be just in jest or in all seriousness, his feathers ruffled at the shiver that made its way down to each of his nerve endings, if demons have them.

"Love me, hate me, say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy" More lights faded in as dancers in cages lowered from the ceiling. More dancers filed through the sea of tables and patrons as the succubus sang the along with the chorus. Each one performing their own dance with another as guest threw money their way.

The extra dancers disappeared once the second verse began, a few male succubus remaining on stage. The ones that remained interacted and touched the succubus as they danced along the stage, pushing them out of their way. Which was a little very enjoyed by Stolas as small hoots of laughter escaped him. "They seem to be livelier tonight, I wonder why~" Asmodeus commented slyly to the another prince while not looking his way. Though his other faces gave him dead away as they stared Stolas dead on, giggling.

With a choked hoot Stolas looked at Asmodeus as he tried to catch his breath. "Oh! Is that so? Well they are quite the... performer?" Stolas said questioning himself at the end, all while Asmodeus laughed at his confusion. "They are, aren't they? Seems they've taken a liking to you. Someones lucky tonight or better yet, getting lucky~" Asmodeus cooed softly leaning towards stolas playfully nudging him with his elbow. Only to laugh when he turned his head and was greeted with stammering and very flustered owl.

Safe to say Ozzie just found the story of the night for Fizzy when he finds him. Such gossip queens.

The song only continued on for a few more moments before the lights fully turned off and the crowd applauded as the dancers exited the stage.

Giving just enough time for Stolas to regain his composure

Or well at least a bit of it

Because the remaining minutes Asmodeus was there

He made it a mission to tease the prince before he had to return to his duties behind stage.

But thank satans Ozzie was called back stage quickly

Stolas didn't think he could take anymore of it

His feathers puffed up and face beat red he was pulled out o this thoughts by a knock

"Hope I didn't make you wait long. Wanted to wash up a bit before I came~."

Stolas let out a high pitched chirp his face flushed once again as he lapped his tongue for words

With a soft laugh you waved him off with your hand as you tried to form words through your giggles.

"I'm kidding! Ozzie said it's fun teasing you, but I think he's probably done enough already."

Before he could say anything you gestured for him to follow you

With a prominent blush on his face Stolas straightened his clothes and quickly got into step with you.

Walking down the hall Stolas thought of what to say as he followed behind you

'Would casual conversation be good? Or maybe a talk over a drink?'

Poor boy was a bit nervous

And it didn't help with each moment you got stopped by a worker or a fan.

Though most were quick small talk, some fans had gained enough courage to ask for a date.

Better yet, they would hop to the point and ask of your number.

Each time they got the same response, each given the same number.

"XXX - 867 - 5309"

With a smile and a wink, you waved them off each time.

'Maybe this was a bad idea' He thought to himself as he watched each demon walk away feeling giddier then the last

With only a few more twist and turns he found himself back stage passing by the other performers dressing rooms.

He took one glance away from you and the moment he turned back you were gone

Stolas only found you when you grabbed his hand and pulled him into a dressing room.

The room seemed still as the bass of the music became dulled behind the walls.

Clothing racks and dressers were scattered around the room as a vanity sat on one end of the room while a couch, a few chairs, and a table sat on the other end.

Knickknacks where randomly placed along the room, making it feel a bit less like the work place and a bit more cozy.

"Sooo, uhm- Was that really your number?" Even Stolas winced at himself for asking.

But it was quickly wiped away with a light laugh from you

you quickly made your way to radio and shuffled through the songs and pressed play

When the music started playing you made your way over to Stolas and quickly grabbed his hands. Pulling him into the middle of the room you danced with him to the music as you started singing along.

"Jenny Jenny who can I turn to? You give me something I can hold on to. I know you'll think I'm like the others before. Who saw your name and number on the wall" Letting go of his hand you twirled around before pointing at him and pretending to sing into a microphone.

"Jenny I've got your number. I need to make you mine. Jenny don't change your number. 867 - 5 3 0 9" As you continued to sing and dance around the room it finally clicked for him. It's a song. You've been quoting a song. A smile broke out on his face when he finally realized.

"You've been giving them a fake number! Won't they notice? They might even know the song-" His rambling was cut off by a hand waving in his face. With a gentle pull of his hand you lead him to the couch in the room. "Are you a cop? Or do you always ask these many questions, feathers?"

"What! Heaven's no I would never-" He was cut off once again, but this time, by a hand cupping his face and leaning closer to him. Enough to ghost your mouth against his as you spoke.

"Good, because I might not be able to justify my next actions~"

Then he never came back after that (im fucking wit yall)

While he doesn't make it to every show and performance.

He CAN be found in your dressing room right after each one.

Well you can honestly find him there most nights your on or in the building.

It' what a good boyfriend does <3

Yes, he was the one to ask what you two 'were' relationship wise

Bby didn't want another game of cat and mouse :(

But that was quickly cleared up with your answer

"Wait, are we not? dating? right now? Would you? like too? date?"

Be glad you're cute. He was ready to make a new ring in hell.

He was very possessive at the start of the relationship.

"Fizzie baby, when did we start ordering stone statues?"

They make wonderful coat and drying racks for the dancers though, so Ozzie doesn't have much to say about it.

"Just don't do it to any high bidders okay~"

stolas did apologize though, hes too much of a good boy not too

But there's always one thing he's glad about.

Stolas's day is filled with tedious and idiotic duties and task he has to complete.

But as soon as night begins to set in Hell, a new energy fills him as he runs around his room getting ready.

The one thing he is glad about is that he can always find you in the same place every night.

Be it the fact you're a dancer within the prestigious club, it was basically your job in a sense, you were always able to catch his eye off first glance.

Never more then a few glances away, soon only a few steps as he was the one now to pull you back stage.

What? Asmodeus said he was allowed too, as long as he put money in his pockets.

Make his pockets hurt, and make them hurt good - Ozzie, 2023

Your biggest supporter ever. It started off with simple five, tens, and twenties. Then it escalated to fifties and one hundreds. Soon he was throwing hand fulls of diamonds on the stage.

Which he was promptly yelled at for by Ozzie.

But after each set he's right back stage giving you hugs and kisses.

Not that your complaining much

Having your demon prince waiting for you, watching over you, and only you was an amazing gift after each performance.

He also helps ward off creeps from interacting with you often.

Were you a bit surprised when you saw his true form? Yes. Did you also fuck him in it after? Also yes, a few times. Never knew how much tension that form has. No worries his pretty little succubus is there to help him through it all~

But to be honest, I think he's always more soft than horny.

He's always bundled up in your dressing room, all cozied up on the couch as he has a movie or show paused.

Such a cuddle bug he is <3

And for the fact he comes here so often. bro might as well just work there

That the balcony seat he first sat in with Asmodeus was now a personal booth for him whenever he came

Nothing but the best for his beloved~

Only the best for his canary <3

･::｡ ･: ･ﾟ･: :｡･: ･:: ･ :･ﾟ･::｡ ::･ﾟ･:: ｡･ :｡:･ﾟ : ･ :｡･ﾟ･::｡･: :･ﾟ･

Songs used in the story ╮

Bartender song (Sittin' at a Bar) - You favorite martian covee | If U seek Amy - Brittany Spears | 867 - 5309 (Jenny's number) - Tommy Tutone

[ejunkiet]

save a horse, ride a werewolf

>:3 this is a gift for the incredible @palilious - go give them lots of love okay

redacted asmr: davey/angel, rated G for goodness, 1.6k wordcount

Following an injury during their annual camping trip, David shifts for Angel.

READ ON AO3

--

save a horse, ride a werewolf

When they first make the suggestion, David dismisses it as a joke. A poorly disguised come on, which was par for the course for them, even though they have been dating for over a year.

“Hey, Davey.” Their tone is sugary sweet, which never bodes well. “Can I ride you?”

He puts his switch controller on the coffee table, levelling them with a flat look that says really. “Trying to fluster me when we’re alone isn’t going to work.”

“Who says I’m trying to fluster you?” There’s a sly smile pulling up the corner of their mouth that tells him that they know exactly what they’re doing. “I was talking about your wolf form. You’re definitely big enough to ride.” They tilt their head, their smile growing, warm eyes sparkling with mischief. “It could be fun.”

His wolf form. Fucking hell. He doesn’t even have to think about it. “No.”

They scooch a little closer on the sofa, the cushion tilting under their weight. “Aww, but Davey-”

“I’m not some pack animal.”

They scoff. “It’s not like that. And it wouldn’t be for long. Just a little ride.”

“I said no.”

They know when not to push it. Even if they do give him that look, the one where they give him an exaggerated pout, looking up at him beneath their lashes, and goddamnit. 

He releases a long breath edged with a growl, reaching over to pull them from the cushion beside him and into his lap, and now they’re the one feeling flustered, heat rising in their cheeks and beneath his palms where they rest on their hips.

“It’s not gonna happen. So can we get back to the part where you’re kissing me?”

They’re considering it, shifting across his lap until they’re seated more comfortably - and making his breath catch in the process. “I’m not sure. I think I’m too busy pouting.”

With an indulgent eye roll, he leans forward and kisses them instead, his hand raising to cup their cheek and hold them close. They make a noise of complaint at first, but it’s not long until they’re melting against him, fingers wound tightly in his hair, their bodies seamed together from hip-to-chest, and yeah, they’re not complaining after that.

And that had been the end of it. At least, he’d thought it would be. 

It damn near was, until halfway through their annual trip up to the ranges, when they managed to snag their ankle on a hike. All it had taken was a particularly treacherous root and they were hobbling, their ankle damn near yanked out of its socket.

“Angel- Stay. Down.”

They manage a weak laugh, their eyes watery as they glance up at him, hands pressed into the dirt as they try to lever themselves forward. “It’s fine, I’m fine. I can walk.”

His voice is edged with a growl as he presses his palm against their shoulder, pushing them back onto the earth. “Don’t you dare try.”

He can read the tension in the tight line of their shoulders, the way they’re trying to hold it in, putting on a brave face. They can’t hide the signs from him though. He knows them, almost as well as he knows himself, and even if he wasn’t a wolf, he’d always be able to read them like this. They were his mate, afterall.

And they’re hurting.

Shifting his hand from their shoulder, he turns his attention back to their ankle, the pulsing heat of it above the bright multicoloured band of their sock. It looks painful, and he can sense that too, if he focuses; the burning itch of it beneath their skin.

Releasing a slow breath, he looks back up at them, and they glance away, avoiding his gaze. His hand finds the curve of their cheek. “Angel.”

They resist for a moment, teeth digging into their lower lip, before his thumb brushes along the curve of their cheekbone, and they cave with a soft sigh. “Alright. It’s - it’s not great.”

“I know. Come here.”

He leans forward, wrapping them up within his arms, and a part of him marvels at how they soften in his arms, the tension leaving them as he thinks over their options.

They’re about an hour away from their camp, from his car and their ticket back to the rest of civilisation. He can carry them, but it would be slow progress, giving time for the joint to swell and increase the risk of further injury. They could do without the added strain on tendons and ligaments, creating more work for the healers, when they eventually reached them. 

Not for the first time, he curses his lack of healing abilities. Even with his few years at the Dahlia Academy, he’d never been able to pick up much of other types of magic, and had ended up focusing on empowered politics instead.

Their options are frustratingly limited.

But then…. Then their stupid suggestion from the other night comes to mind, and god, he can’t even believe he is considering this.

It would be faster.

“Angel.” They glance back up from where they’d been examining their ankle, and there’s dirt on their cheek, smeared there from an idle hand. “I’m going to shift. Can you get on my back?”

Their warm brown eyes widen, flecks of gold sparkling in the late afternoon sun. “You’re shitting me.”

He shirks the light sports jacket he was wearing, leaning forward to tie it around their waist. “I’m not. But, we will never speak of this. You will never bring it up again.”

A slow smile spreads across their features, scrunching their nose above their freckles, and god, they’re cute even when they’re being annoying. “Not a word.”

He huffs, pushing to his feet and slipping out of his shoes and socks, placing them and his watch in the backpack he brought, when he’d expected to remain firmly on two legs the entire trip. 

Leaning forward again, he lifts them, ignoring their yelp as their fingers cling to his forearms, balancing them on their good leg before he pushes the backpack into their arms.

“Stay still.”

Stepping back, he takes in a long, slow breath, and then another. A hushed silence falls over them as he focuses on his core, the sounds of the forest around him, as well as the heartbeat of his mate, soft and fast, their eyes on him.

Another breath, and then the magic twists, curling inside of him - and he falls onto all fours, shivering as his coat falls into place around him.

Claws, teeth, fur. Home, his wolf whispers, a fierce joy rising from deep within the confines of his chest. Freedom.

He inhales, filling his lungs with the forest and the warm-salt-sweet scent of his angel. Mate.

Turning his head, he meets their gaze, wide-eyed and open.

They’re even smaller than usual, like this; but then again, he’s probably a lot bigger than they were anticipating. He’s always been on the larger side for the pack, only matched in size by his father, and they’ve only seen him like this a handful of times. 

It’s a lot to get used to, and the old fear creeps at the corners of his mind, the idea that seeing him like this scares them.

But then they reach out to him, their fingers sinking into the thick pile of his coat, the sensation sending shivers running through him, and all that falls away.

A low rumble escapes his chest, almost - but not quite - a purr, as he drops his head to rest his forehead against their shoulder. A soft laugh escapes them. “Hey, Davey.”

Their fingers trail through his fur, down his chest, warm palms splaying over his heart.

“Your coat is really very soft, you know that?”

He sighs against their neck. Of course it is. He takes good care of it. His summer coat is leaner than his winter one, the one they had seen last time, and as they run their fingers along his neck, getting dangerously close to his ears, they can feel the difference in the ruff from the rest; longer, thicker, coarser hair.

If they touch his ears again, he’s going to push them over, sore ankle or no.

They keep their hands to neutral zones however, tangling briefly there as they shift their weight to lean against him. Their scent changes, and they’re anxious he realises, their expression unsure as he meets their gaze.

Their eyes are soft, their voice soft too. “Are you sure I won’t hurt you?”

He huffs, as close a sound he can make to a scoff when he’s like this, before pressing more firmly against their side, until they laugh, clinging to his shoulders to maintain their balance.

“Fine, fine. Dip a little lower for me?”

He does, crouching low as their grip shifts to the back of his neck, digging into his ruff.

It takes them two tries to get their good leg across his back, and he can hear their soft gasp as they lift their other leg, perching unsteadily against him. He waits until they’ve adjusted their weight, their fingers winding more securely into his ruff, before he slowly pushes himself to his feet.

Their breath leaves them in a low rush, their grip tightening as they sway with the movement, correcting their balance, before their knees squeeze against his sides, and he hears the sound of their bright laugh.

“God Davey, this is – incredible.”

He lets out another soft chuff, the movement bouncing them against him - and they’re so light, his pocket-sized mate - and they laugh again, leaning forward to secure their grip more tightly within his fur.

They haven’t seen anything yet.

Taking a long step forward, then another, he starts to move.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Which redacted listener do you think would hide/ not mention that they speak different languages until some random or funny moment happens? because the fact that I speak 5 languages has put in a lot of funny situations 😂

Omg I wanna know some of these interactions. That kind of thing is literally some of my fav things ever. (I was gonna write a fully fledged fic in answer to this but I have way too many WIPs to do that. 😭 Maybe I'll do it in the future idk.)

N E WAYS

Personally, I think all of the demon boys can speak any language used on Earth. Like imagine Gavin travelling to Spain for example. Considering how big he is on consent and for simplicity sake, he would need to be able to speak Spanish to communicate with those he wants to feed on.

Do all demons use this? No. I'm pretty sure Vega's words just get translated into the person's native language on the rare occasions he does communicate with people.

Outside of the d(a)emons? Oh here we go.

This could just be me pushing a French Baabe agenda, but they give off the vibe of knowing another language. And as soon as Angel finds out, they immediate want Baabe to hold onto that card for whenever they need to lay the smack into Christian.

Sweetheart is another one, but I think they needed to learn multiple languages for their job. (Same with Cutie. Probably Cutie even more so since people think in their native language, and if they need to investigate someone mind, language barriers would be a pain in the ass.) Sweetheart would purposefully mistranslate words to people, just for shits and giggles. Even better if it's Milo.

But idk if any of the wolf boyos would hide it since theyve all known each other since they were kids. I also don't think they would mess with each other's mates to that extent.

Lovely and Vincent though? Those two would totally fuck with each other or other clan members when it comes to languages. Sam would probably give them the silent treatment after the fifth time in one afternoon. It got to be too much.

I feel like Huxley thought Lasko was speaking a different language when they first met simply from how fast our local fan company was talking. Especially since Huxley's speed of talking is much slower.

But you wanted listeners. So here's my list.

Cutie - nothing malicious. Work related reasons.

Sweetheart - pranks galore

Baabe - forced by Angel to wait for the "perfect moment"

Lovely - malicious menacery.

Warden - demon things

Mentor (Ollie's listener) - nothing malicious. Simply a fact of their life. They don't really bring it up, but their ability of more than one language is there when needed.

Anton's listener - I don't think they would hide it since they give off such a heavy wholesome vibes. But I also headcanon that theyre European and English isn't their first language.

Asset - AI computer tings

Honey - they only learned curse words in multiple languages (hahahaha me tho 😅)

Darlin - they got sick of falling for Lovely and Vincent's bullshit and decided to start learning the language (up in the air what it is) also since it was confirmed that they're a menace, they also started doing the same to Sam and the rest of the pack. (Sam can't escape it. Someone save southern yee haw vamp daddy)

That's all I can really think of off the top of my head (I'm having bad cramps so brain not fully operating.) But bonus:

Angel: Im learning French, Davey!

David: oh?

Angel: yeup. Like Angel is Ange in French. And please is sil vous plait

David: what else

Angel: oui oui Ange wants your baguette

David: ...

[bulletproofscales]

monster fucking march 5 - bulbs, spikes and bumps (namkook)

oh i took my sweet time with this one because it was SO out of my comfort zone!! but i ende dup really liking the dynamic i was able to wrtie. which is kinda what the challenge is about!! tho fr now ill preassur emyself to psot everyday for the rest of march to get to all 10 prompts!! wish me luck :,)

tags: intersex jungkook , jungkook has both genitals , mentions of female genitalia , monster genitals , monster pussy , trans man namjoon , ftm namjoon , post-phalloplasty namjoon , trans dick namjoon , first times , chubby namjoon

3.4k (no wonder it took me forever )

AO3 LINK

“Looking for someone into cock biting-” 

No.

“Is there any sadist dtf my ass that has this weird medical condition-” 

No! 

Jungkook’s hands abandon the keyboard as if it were on fire. 

He can’t do this. But he has to. 

Already in his mid twenties, Jungkook hasn’t gone past the occasional hand job back when he was just starting college. Back when he knew something was off but never had the urge to experiment and find out exactly what. 

Needless to say, it was a very painful first fingering experience, for all the wrong reasons. 

Yes, he’s heard people with vaginas say it can hurt the first time. But he didn’t expect his fingers to barely fit. Scrunching up his face as curling them forward and back only seems to make the squeezing worse. 

Jungkook knew he was intersex, his mother made a very conscious effort to explain it to him. He has both genitals and he’s gone his life mostly in normality. All of his biology was male except for the vulva behind his sack; so he lived his life normally. Intersex people exist and he doesn’t have to go around telling people, he doesn’t owe that to anyone! 

Though… He does panic when in a wild tipsy night by himself he wants to experiment fingering himself, copious amounts of lube as he reaches between his lips; thighs spread open and anticipation pumping his heart. 

And when he pulls out to see his fingers swollen and red. It was a bit of a moodkill. If not, the thing that sent Jungkook into cardiac arrest. 

Yes, he knows the rest of his biology is all relatively normal. That he could easily just have standard sex in any position without having to involve the anomaly on his body. But now, as if being intersex hadn’t been enough of a stigma for him to overcome, now he has to worry about people finding said pussy he shouldn't have in the first place, has weird hard bumps in it!

His mom was a fumbling mess when he interrogated her over the phone. Something about her making a mistake, falling for some succubus-like man thing, and some of his genes passing onto Jungkook! 

So Jungkook’s vagina has bumps, apparently. 

He hasn’t had much sex at all after that. 

Though redacting this message was becoming a harder task than he had anticipated. Not even anonymity and a strong vpn were enough to make the shame he felt wash away. Writing and deleting and re-writing just to delete again in exhaustion.

And he’s becoming desperate. And lonely. 

That's where he finds himself now. In a very deep corner of the internet. An old abandoned website with only a few people in it, describing different genitalia anomalies. As if he was gonna find anyone like him. Jungkook didn’t need to find anyone like him though. He just needed to find someone… willing. 

 He needs a drink. 

It ends up being 5 drinks until Jungkook’s drunken inspiration takes hold of him. Writing an obscene message and posting it shamelessly before he plops on the bed; knocked out by the weird cocktail of anxiety, and alcohol that tired him out.

At least he is relieved he didn’t actually post his number online for a group of strangers. But still inside this obscure forum thing, a little bell shows on his chats. Flinging already, he reaches to click it.

 With horror, Jungkook is reminded of his last night’s endeavor when a notification of a message from the same dark website shows up on his phone. 

“Hello Im JUngkoook, my vagina has liek bumps in it or sumthing! you dont have to be into it!!!!! as long asd youre down with having sex w me in anywway shape or form (i ahve a penis too ;))) !! im just despedrate ok? text me if your interesdted!! !!  :DDD”

icantfeelmydickwhenimwithyou: hi! i dont know if you were serious or not, but if youre from seoul, im a bit desperate and more than ok with… your situation. 

icantfeelmydickwhenimwithyou: we wouldnt have to like fuck on first encounter but if you wanna chat im interested :] 

Well she fell for a succubus. She can’t tell Jungkook shit.

He stares in awe. Jungkook’s parents have given him so many talks throughout all of his teenage internet friendships about the dangers of the internet and all the creeps that lay within. But Jungkook is actively seeking them out now. Not only that, but he wants to meet with one too. Have sex with them! 

Jungkook’s mom would not be proud. 

jkabtthecockbiting: i /am/ from seoul 

jkabtthecockbiting: honestly…if youre ok to fucking right away id skip the chitchat. 

His confidence dissipates when the stranger replies immediately. 

Jungkook wasn’t dumb enough to give him his address. Or too agree to go to “Namjoon’s” as he learnt is his supposed name. So they agreed to a love hotel on the outskirts of Seoul. Not the safest place around, but Jungkook can defend himself! He hits the gym! He boxes! That's what he tries to remind himself at least, as he finds himself outside the sketchy area on a random Thursday night.  

icantfeelmydickwhenimwithyou: cutting straight to the point huh

And maybe this stranger online posing no hesitation to meet him, should've been a red flag. His mother would be very disappointed. But Jungkook needs to feel wanted. And if a creep sadist perv on Reddit is the one to make him feel that way. Then they meet. 

He does regret not having asked for some sort of photo or social media. Jungkook may not be desperate enough to fuck a 70 year old man. But he doubts an old man would’ve figured out a way through underground fetish chat rooms, right? Right.

“Jungkook, right?” Oh.

It's cold, he has his arms crossed over himself trying to protect himself from the falling snow while keeping contact with everyone who passes by. 10:30pm outside, that's what they had agreed on. Of course Jungkook not only got there at 9:50, but had booked a room in the hotel for the night. And now has to think about how he will tell Namjoon that he expects him to pay half of it too… Is Jungkook even allowed to request that? This stranger is the one doing a favor for him. 

Even if he hears the steps approaching him, making his head snap up, Jungkook is startled anyways. The stranger must recognize that same jitteriness on himself. 

 Out of everything he’s imagined, this isn’t what he considered Namjoon would look like. Gentle but broad rounded shoulders, only a slimmer bit taller than Jungkook. Padded chin with some patchy stubble and pillowy body showing through the thick layer of clothing. Pear shaped body clinging to his shirt and jeans; despite the flannel and jacket, it still shows. He smiles a bit, plump lips catching Jungkook’s attention more than his body; dimples showing through. 

“I uh… I already booked a room.” He speaks from behind the broad expanse of soft shoulders. Namjoon turned to look over his shoulder, smiling surprised. 

“Y-yeah.” He can’t help but grin, feeling the release of tension of seeing this real life 20-30 something person with him; a real, friendly-looking, human. “Namjoon?” 

“That's me.” Namjoon offers his hand and Jungkook eagerly takes it, satisfied with the warmth emanating from this man. “Oh you’re freezing. Come on, let's go in.” He says it so casually as if they were getting into his home; it's a bit relaxing as he follows Namjoon without letting go of his big warm hand. Like the rest of him.

“Oh! You prepared for everything! Nice.” Even if his reaction is positive, Jungkook can’t help but feel that familiar anxiety slip through. Is he being too eager? Overprepared? He can only smile timidly and nod as Namjoon makes his way to the desk, asking for a reservation to his name for him; and Jungkook lets himself find refuge behind the mass of the other man. Feels nice. 

Namjoon’s smile at him is also very reassuring. “No, no you’re alright.” There's a chuckle attached to the end of his sentence and everything. “I’m not particularly into it. Or I mean, I never tried!” He adds quickly.

Namjoon maneuvers his way through the awkwardness easily. While Jungkook only speaks when they’re in the privacy of the hallway together. 

“So… You're into bumpy holes?” He doesn’t bother being subtle. Though he does feel a bit guilty in the way Namjoon chokes on his own spit; but not guilty enough to hide his giggling. “Sorry, too much?”

“I’m your first I get it.” Jungkook reassures smiling.  

“But uh… I had bottom surgery about a year ago. And it's safe to have sex, but I still need a bit… uh, more, to really feel anything. Until the nerves heal at least.”  Jungkook can only stare a bit wide eyed nodding. 

There's something so… relieving about hearing Namjoon isn’t ‘normal’ either. A smile slowly grows on his face. He’s never been with a trans person. But walking with Namjoon now, it just makes perfect sense that they found each other. 

“Hopefully I’ll be of help then.” His smile must be contagious because Namjoon is grinning back at him, gentler than last time. “Won’t it hurt the stitching?” Jungkook asks curiously.

“Oh no no. Most of the stitching is gone, and the scarring made the skin really tough.” He explains before his smile widens more, a little bit of confidence oozing off him. “You did your homework.” 

“You’re not the only one that looked for bottom surgeries!” Jungkook accuses with a finger that pokes at Namjoon’s pillowy bicep. Their giggling rudely echoing through the hallway. 

“This is our room.” Laughter still clings to his voice as he gestures to the room. “I’m kinda scared, never been in one of these.” He confesses. 

“I can still appreciate it!” He whines but the laughter makes it less serious. Jungkook is starting to worry less about their night together, and more about if the other customers will file a complaint about them. Which feels a lot better. The door opens and Jungkook prepares himself to be grossed out. 

“Does it look like I have?”

“That was the anxiety, Namjoon.” Jungkook deadpans earning another wave of giggles. 

They turn to each other in pleasant awe, smiling softly in the brief moment of silence. Jungkook catches Namjoon’s eyes glancing down towards his lips before their eyes meet again.

“Oh!” “This is so much better than I expected.”

“Me too.”

He wouldn’t be able to tell you who leaned first, all Jungkook knows is it is his own back pressing the door shut close; once the eager weight of Namjoon’s body presses flush against his. Softened belly and chest engulfing him in warmth as Jungkook cups his face, feeling big hands cup at his waist and squeeze. Coaxing a moan to vibrate for his lips to be swallowed by Namjoon. 

This is where he would start to feel nervous, jittery over not letting himself get to enjoy too much. Jungkook would have to stop them before it gets too far, before he has to explain himself; make excuses for his body. But he doesn’t have to, not when Namjoon’s hands softly caress the hem of Jungkook’s shirt. Stripping his jacket and shirt alike, leaving him bare. 

Goosebumps break down his back from the feeling of the cold wall against his skin; but Namjoon’s warm hands tug him closer and away from it. Jungkook’s muscular thigh slots between Namjoon’s thicker ones in an attempt to stabilize himself. A bit harshly but it seemed to do the trick for the other; moaning deeply into Jungkook’s lips. 

Jungkook doesn’t feel like covering up, he feels like revealing Namjoon too. 

His own hands strip his jacket off before letting his hands get a feel of his tubby torso, pudgy and soft to the touch. Jungkook’s hands are desperate trying to memorize the curve and thickness of his waist, and Namjoon’s chuckle into the kiss does nothing to help. Confidence making his dick twitch in desperation; which he is sure Namjoon can feel, from the way they’re pressed together. 

“F-fuck… Fuck can I?” He whispers as his hands trace to Jungkook’s belly, settled on the waistband of his pants; where Jungkook’s bulge is beginning to show. He nods urgently, his own hands aggressively tugging down at Namjoon’s sweatpants; everything on his body jiggling softly with the strength of Jungkook’s pulling. Too preoccupied licking his lips at the sight of Namjoon’s semi to worry about himself. 

“Pleasantly surprised.” The flirty giggle clings to his voice as his hand curiously caresses the chubby bottom of Namjoon’s belly, trailing down to wrap around his dick. Both of them looked down at Jungkook’s tattooed hand. 

“You’re hard.” Jungkook whispers with an awed smile and very shameless staring. 

“Surprised?” He retorts with humor and endearment. 

Harsh, he’d told Jungkook. So biting his lips, he squeezes Namjoon’s shaft, letting his nails sink a little into the skin in a way he’d never dare to try on himself. But Namjoon seems to melt into it, his thick thighs shivering in what Jungkook can only assume is a mix of pleasure and pain? He moans like its only pleasure. 

“We don’t have to do anything.” His thumbs rub soothing circles along his squeezed knees. And oh, how could Jungkook pass up an opportunity like this? When is he ever going to find someone like Namjoon again?

“I wanna see too…” His voice sounds significantly deeper than Jungkook remembers it. Making his heart skip a beat as he looks up to Namjoon; whose half lidded eyes do nothing to calm his stammering pulse. Warm hands squeezing gently at his waist; so much softer than Jungkook’s treatment. 

Guiding him towards the bed, their legs still tangling together as Jungkook lets himself fall on the surprisingly soft mattress; Namjoon standing in front of him. He instinctively presses his thighs together in an attempt to hide his vulva. But those same big hands are rubbing at his knees as Namjoon carefully kneels on the bed. The hunger in his eyes dissipated for something softer. 

Jungkook has to really bite into his lip to stop a shaky whine from slipping, so many years of self neglect leaving him needy and so sensitive. But even so, a choked whimper slips past. “Can I?” Namjoon asks, regardless of the desperation in Jungkook’s eyes when he snaps up to look at him again. 

“I want to.” Jungkook confesses vulnerably. “Just, uh… force of habit.” He chuckles a bit at himself, taking the first step as his thighs begin to spread for the dreamy man. The rush of adrenaline makes his breathing already a little heavy. Biting his lip preparing himself for the worst. 

But Namjoon’s expression only melts with lust, exhaling as he doesn’t take his eyes off Jungkook’s crotch. “Oh look at you…” He whispers and it feels like his voice could rattle at his insides. Warm hands still very much secured on his muscular thighs. Jungkook can feel his face burn as he forces himself to look up once Namjoon’s fingers abandon his leg to caress his lips, tentatively. Only the tips of fingers feeling him up. 

“You're so wet…” He mumbles against Jungkook’s lips. Only getting a desperate moan in response. His jaw dropping, looking up at Namjoon with eyes that struggle to stay open. “I can’t finger you but–but we’ll take it slow, yeah?” His thumb presses against his clit, and Jungkook’s eyes roll with a trembling whine. 

“Yes!” All self control leaves him, body trembling, begging for Namjoon to do something more than to caress the shaven lips of his pussy. “Yes Namjoon, please-” The sentence dies in his throat as Namjoon’s fingers press between his lips, rubbing up and down without pressing in just yet. Wet and sloppy noises coming from within him; only more accessible as his dick hardens against his flat tummy. 

Namjoon smiles at the shivering man beneath him, taking the liberty of leaning closer and really making Jungkook’s legs spread. Opening to fit the girth of Namjoon’s hips; calves squishing into the chub a bit. Plump lips take a hold of his, greedily kissing as Jungkook is engulfed by the softness of Namjoon’s torso. 

He has to make an effort to stay lucid enough to respond. Nodding quickly before he can even coordinate to speak, stuttering as his own hips grind against Namjoon’s fingers. Stabbing jabs of pleasure spreading through his navel. “Yes–Yes please!” Shaky hand presses to Namjoon’s cheek just to pull him in for another kiss, to let his weight press him down to the mattress. For the first time in a while, Jungkook allows himself to feel empty, to yearn for the warmth he so desperately craves. Worsening when Namjoon pulls his fingers away.

Something in his stomach tightens in anticipation, for it all to go invariably wrong. But Namjoon aligns himself, taking a curious look at where their crotches meet, sliding on a condom before he starts pressing in. Frowning in concentration, while Jungkook’s heart goes rigid. Gasping quietly at the stretch, he feels his bulbs press onto Namjoon’s dick in a tight fit. Jungkook can only imagine the pressuring squeeze they’re pushing onto Namjoon’s dick; even if he feels more stretched than he ever dared to try. 

Even as his heart raises to Jungkook’s throat he stares at Namjoon wide eyed. Taking in his groans, trying to read if it's the pain or the pleasure overpowering his senses. Though Namjoon’s continuous, even if slow, sliding into him is somewhat of a good sign. Regardless, he asks. 

“G–Good?” The insecurity shows in his voice even throughthe heavy breathing and fucked-out stutter. Namjoon opens his eyes for him with a haze of their own; his voice sounding a little breathless itself when he responds. 

“I won’t.” He whispers leaning to take Jungkook’s lips into another kiss, both of them smiling into eachothers mouths before his hips begin to grind. Their kiss is sloppy enough that it's not able to silence the moan of pleasure out of Namjoon’s throat. Unable to help himself as a rhythm begins to build. As Jungkook begins to lose himself, his insides churning in a pleasure that takes him from within. Feeling through the nubs inside him every inch of Namjoon’s skin, his own bumps, his own imperfections. Filling him to the brim with quickening thrusts. 

“Oh Jungkook… It feels amazing.” He whispers leaning so their noses brush, fully bottomed out he can feel the way Namjoon’s entire body shivers in pleasure. “Y-you?” His smile is giddy even if it's shaky; like he is holding back.

It feels ridiculous for him to even ask! Jungkook is nodding before the words come out again. “So, so good, keep going!” He can’t help but grin excited, nodding in encouragement; seemingly contagious as a wider smile spreads on Namjoon’s own face. 

He is beyond controlling the string of moans that Namjoon coaxed out of his chest with each thrust. Warmth, all he feels is warmth. From the inside out, form the jiggling soft body pressed on top of his, weighting on him like a blanket. Namjoon’s own moans, deep and lustful, making his eyes roll back as his legs hang heavy and useless at either side. Dick rubbed against the bottom of Namjoon’s belly, sinking into it deliciously. 

Jungkook never could’ve imagined, he could ever feel this good. That he could ever cause this much pleasure to someone else. 

It's pointless to try to warn Namjoon about his orgasm. Legs squeezing into the sides of his chubby belly as he spurts against the very bottom roll. “D–Don’t– Don’t stop!” Is all he manages to say. Hands cupping Namjoon’s thick neck howling in pleasure as he continues. Shamelessly enjoying after so many years of deprivation. 

He never wants it to end. 

“F-fuck –fuck don’t say that, Jungkook. I’m – I’m going to-” Namjoon’s own speech is cut off with a shivered moan, his entire body trembling and spasming as he grinds his hips into Jungkook’s bumped heat. 

And for a moment everything stills, looking at one another with widened eyes. Like it's the first time in a while either of them have been able to feel this amount of pleasure. 

The first, but definitely not the last. 

[electionfraudking]

“Hey, doll,” He leaned against a wall, looking at his notes.

“Hey, Braig. What’s happening?”

“I did some experimenting with Stanley.”

“Alright. Tell me everything.”

"Alright. So, I kept things on the DL, but I think he was starting to catch on a little bit towards the end. But I'm pretty sure he just thought I was fucking with him. Anyway, I need to test it out a bit more, but it looks like he believes anything said as fact, even if it's phrased almost like a question. It can't be a full question, though. I tried it, it doesn't work."

“Alright, ” Xigbar heard faint splashing on the other end of the line. What? “ Run by me what you said.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but apparently that was just a pause, because she continued:

“Not that I think you- not that I think you tried to be mean- I don’t- but if you- not that I-” Was she always this uncertain? “ You can, like, hold onto that until later. Not in a state to handle that right now. Had some. Thoughts .”

"... Okay, doll. I have some good news, if you want that." Maybe it would help with whatever mental issue she was dealing with.

“ That’d be lovely.”

"Turns out, he's actually a pretty good shot," Xigbar hummed. "Only missed a couple times."

“ A- a good shot? Was this a shooting lesson?”

"Yeah. Didn't want to give him the gun and then not teach him how to actually shoot. Could blow his foot off or something." It was an exaggeration. The gun he'd given Stanley wasn't nearly powerful enough for that.

Silence.

"He's not gonna , obviously. I really drilled the safety parts into his head."

“No, no, I know,” She said. More water sounds. Was she in the bath? … No, he didn't want to think about that. Not the time to get distracted.

“Braig, I’ve been thinking,” She continued, “Will the gun be any- will it be any use? [name redacted] will confiscate it. It’s a- it’s a glorified teddy bear, isn’t it? A comfort, sure, but useless? He can’t kill him, or I die.” A pause, “I’d like to- I’m afraid i’m not quite as well versed with secret weapons as i’d like to be. But if possible, I’d like to give him as many as we can.”

"He's real adamant about shooting [name redacted] in the kneecaps. Who am I to take that away from him?" Xigbar shrugged. "As for secret weapons… Do you still have that amulet you took from him? Like- do you know where it is? Team Lit had an extra I swiped, so we can use that to at the very least monitor him."

“He’s very particular about jewelry. I was only ever allowed to wear the wedding ring. I’m certain he’ll take that, too.”

"Hm. Maybe there's a way we can hide it? Maybe…" He paused for a second. "Implant it in his skin somehow?" First he was trading him away like a possession, now he's suggesting cutting him open. It's a wonder Showie was still putting up with him.

“Ah! Braig ! ” He heard splashing- okay, probably in the bath- and the sound of what was probably her hand hitting her head. He heard a whooshing noise like she was shaking the phone, but that ended soon enough , “I- we can talk about that later! Ah!” some deep breaths, “It’s okay, it’s okay, keep talking. Keep talking, let’s get back to the notes. ”

"Okay… So, one thing I noticed was he seems to prioritize the easier commands first. I told him some wrong information, but presented it as a fact, and he took the time to process it before he finished shooting a bottle. The information wasn't anything bad, just something he and I both know is wrong. I told him his favorite color is orange. We all know it's actually beige, but he agreed with me anyway."

“Good to know,” She said thoughtfully, “But go ahead and set that one back to normal when you get the chance, okay? I’ve already finished the friendship bracelet, and it’s mostly beige. Speaking of, you never did give me those measurements.”

"My bad," Xigbar laughed. "I'll go hunt down a measuring tape later, okay? Promise. Anyway- Didn't mean to, but it looks like I gave him a command the other day. This one is actually pretty good, though. He checks the safety every time he puts the gun down or picks it up. He was makin' me nervous, just shoving the damn thing in his pocket like it was nothing."

A pause. Probably didn’t mean anything, it seemed Showie was the type to think before she spoke.

“And the- the safety on a gun, where is that? I’m afraid I’ve never- I mean-”

"You want me to teach you, too, doll? I can make that happen."

He heard a smile when she spoke, “I think it’s a good idea, I-” the smile went away, “I… oh, well, nevermind. Next note?”

"I told him not to fire until I gave him the okay. Waited a full minute. Just watched me stare at my wrist. I don't even have a watch."

“Well, to be fair, I’d do that too,” She said, “How can we be sure it’s actually a will issue and not just him choosing to listen?”

"I don't, but I'm going to assume it's a will thing. I phrased it like a command. Continuing- He agreed with everything I said, as long as I phrased it like some sort of fact. At one point, I made it too questiony, and it didn't affect him."

“Good to know. Can I hear your phrasing?”

"One sec. 'Didn't you say you were going to stop eating buttons?'. When I did the color one, I just tacked a 'right?' on the end of it. So there's a limit to how much of a question it can be."

“Good to-” A pause, “He eats buttons?”

"Yeah. It's fuckin' weird. I actually saw him eat one once. Just took a bite out of the red one he's got."

“... Huh,” She said, “Odd.”

A pause.

“ Did any other commands not work?”

"None so far, but I'm planning on getting some more testing in if I can." He debated on telling her the name thing. Obviously, he already knew it, but… "... I got him to say your name. Well, not say , but you know. He told me your phrasing of 'not to tell a soul', so my guess is it worked on the basis of I don't have one."

“......... You don’t?”

"No heart either, but they're almost the same thing."

Silence.

“ No?”

"Metaphorical heart. Not a physical one. I have a physical one- I wouldn't be alive otherwise. I'm a Nobody."

Silence.

“Are you insulting yourself or is that some kind of term? In the first case, I disagree. In the second case, spill.”

"It's a term." He laughed again. "Glad to know you like me, though. … I'd wink, but. Phone. Also one eye. Anyway, it just means I stayed myself after losing my heart. Only the strongest wills can do that." Subtle brag.

Silence.

“Alright, pause. I’m going to need to know what ‘losing your heart’ means.”

"Means exactly what it sounds like. It's gone. Probably a Heartless running around somewhere now. B-”

“ Braig, assume I’m an idiot here, okay? Explain anything you haven’t actively seen in the force field, alright? Assume I don’t know. What’s a heartless?”

"Little critters formed out of the darkness of people's hearts. They can also be formed when a person fully falls into darkness, or when they just straight up lose their heart. Losing your heart happens with a keyblade. Get stabbed in just the right way, and… you get the picture."

“... Did someone hurt you?”

"Huh? Oh, no, Doll. Don't worry. I chose this."

Silence.

“... I see.” She sounded a bit… put out?

"... You okay?" What did he say? How does he keep doing this?

“Of course! Um, what does it- what happens when you lose your heart? Besides becoming a Nobody. You said it is what it sounds like, but I feel like that’s only obvious to you because you know what it means.”

"You get stabbed, or in some cases, you can get it ripped out by heartless, and you pass out. When you come to, you're completely numb. No feelings. Just the memory. Then you're a Nobody. Kind of a switcheroo thing. Heartless are hearts, Nobodies are bodies. Like an Iceland/Greenland sort of thing." He purposely left out the fact that under the right conditions, hearts grow back. He was avoiding thinking about that. For no reason, of course. It's fine. Everything is fine.

“... Oh…. okay.” She sounded more put out than before, “Next note?”

"Yeah… Okay. This one was unintentional, but it still worked, so you don't need to have intent to control him for it to work. He mentioned something the Narrator had said once, and I said it was stupid. Because it was. He instantly agreed with me. Even started talking a little shit about the Narrator. Not sure if that part is fully related, though."

“Continue.”

"He brought up the video game thing again. I told him I'm still not from a video game ," it was still a bit of a sore topic, "and he finally agreed. I didn't do anything to convince him, so I'm assuming it's related to the way I said it as fact."

“ Alright. Is that all?” Her voice was… different… than it was at the beginning of the call.

"Oh- I also told him to calm down once. He got too excited about shootin’ kneecaps. He did calm down in his signs, but I should've found out how he was feeling before."

“ I see. And that’s all?” Colder, was the word for it. Didn’t sound like the same Showie that had been trying to reassure him at the beginning of the call.

"Yeah, that's about it." Xigbar paused. "Did I say something wrong?"

“No, I believe you told the truth.”

"That's…" He frowned. Okay, yeah, it's been a while since he'd talked to a woman this much, but usually he was decently good at not pushing buttons unless he wanted to. "... Are you mad at me?"

Silence.

"I thought you wanted me to figure him out-"

“ That’s not it.”

A pause.

“ I’m not mad at you.”

A pause.

“ I don’t understand.”

" ... I don't, either." He had no idea what she was upset about.

He heard a shaky breath through the phone. More water noises.

“The- give me a minute, the fucking water got warm. Hold on.”

Silence broken only by clinking and quiet swearing for about a minute.

“I fucking hate when the water gets warm, it makes me feel like his hands are on me- it’s dreadful,” She said, and he heard a door open, “ I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be anywhere near here. This is awful.” He got the sense this is not what she was mad about.

Still, he had to say something that had a shot at clearing the air.

"That reminds me- I managed to talk to whoever runs Fuckable Old Man Battle. They're going to make a bracket that all four of us can be in. And I know that PvP is enabled in there, so to speak."

“Great,” she said, “More time around him . I- I-” He heard the sound of cloth rustling- was she getting into bed? “ Fuck! I- I’m not mad at you. I’m not.” More rustling.

"What I mean is, he'll be open to being killed. There won't be any consequences. You can shoot him in the dick all you want."

Silence.

“ Honest question.”

"What?" Scary.

“ Do I let this fester and hope it goes away or do I just say it and deal with whatever your answer is?”

"..." Xigbar took a breath. "Look, Doll, whatever it is, I'm not gonna be upset or anything. I am really bad at being mad at you."

Silence.

“ That.”

"What?"

“ What is that?” She sounded more confused and a little hurt than angry.

Oh.

Oh.

It finally clicked. Goddamn, he was stupid.

"It's not- I'm not fucking with you when I say shit like that. Honest. I know I'm- it's-" Xigbar found it really hard to figure out the right words here. "I still have memories . Traces- You're only completely numb like that when it first happens, y'know? I'm not just saying shit to say it." That was probably the wrong way to say it.

Silence.

Fuck. It was definitely the wrong way to say it.

“ What do the stars look like where you’re from?”

FUCK.

"That could mean a lot of places. Daybreak Town had so many stars- It looked like the sky was just. Full of glitter. The World That Never Was had none. Just black emptiness, until Kingdom Hearts showed up."

“Have you seen the milky way? If that makes any sense?”

"Once or twice. When I went to a world that had it. It's weird to explain- They all operate on different rules. They're like pocket dimensions. Most of them even have different flows of time."

Silence.

“ Time?”

"Say a year passes for you. In certain worlds, that could be a week, a decade, even a minute. Some of them just loop forever, the same events over and over for eternity."

“I feel like that sometimes.”

A pause.

“What about forests?”

"There's tons. You should see the one in Corona – It's beautiful. Didn't get to go there much, but I did like it a lot."

“Maybe I should.”

"I could take you there someday, if you want."

Silence. Rustling of cloth.

“ When’s the furthest back you’ve been? If time flows differently? You mentioned Heracles?”

"Yeah, even talked to the guy once or twice. That's what, Ancient Greece? I've been there a few times."

This was fucking terrifying.

Did he fuck it all up? She wasn't acknowledging what he'd said. Despite the fact that she was technically asking about him, it was all so impersonal. She was clamming up, or something. Her voice was too damn calm.

“ That’s where I’m from. Different, I don’t know, different world, though.”

"Y-Yeah… You said that guy was an ass, right? This one was too naïve. Acted like a golden retriever. Hate that guy."

“The Heracles from this world, Hera drove him to madness and he murdered his wife and children.”

"... Holy shit. That's fucked up- and that's coming from the human experimentation guy." Please laugh.

“ In Greece, did you see houses? Ones with space? Or were you not in that part of town?”

"I didn't really see houses, sorry. I stayed out of towns. But the place I was by most recently, I'm pretty sure it was called… Thebes, I think."

“Which one? I know of two.”

"The one by, uh- Mount Olympus. That was right there. Sora ran up a vertical cliff, it was insane. Kid scares me sometimes."

Silence.

“ When-... no, actually. You have winter, right?”

"Yeah- The actual weather of it though depends on where you are. Just like regular places, I guess."

“... Humor me a second?”

"Winters in Daybreak Town were short, but it snowed a lot. The real fluffy, powdery stuff. When-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. "Okay- Are you okay? You're freaking me out."

“I’m admittedly still thrown from our earlier call.”

"Yeah, that's- that's to be expected. It's still better than just… dropping it on you after it was over, though. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea." None of it was a good idea, but… It's not like he had a choice.

Silence.

“You were planning on dropping it on me after it was over?”

"Less of a plan and more of just… I didn't want to tell you. I was… scared." That. Was not fun to admit.

Silence.

“ I…” a deep sigh, “ lots of conflicting signals from you today, Braig.”

Has talking to women always been this nerve wracking? Xigbar couldn't remember the last time he'd been this nervous. He'd died. Multiple times. And yet somehow that was easier than this.

"I- … I meant it when I said I care about you."

Silence.

“ Hi.”

"Uh-" Oh god what the fuck does that mean? Should he backtrack? Would that just mess things up more? What the fuck does he say??? "... Hi?"

“Hi,” She yawned. She yawned?

"Maybe you should- Maybe you should go nap or something?" Escape???? Possible escape from this conversation???? Please?????

“I’ve been in bed for the past few minutes now.”

"Y-Yeah… You sound sleepy." He needs to have an out. Go figure out what to say next time to smooth all this over. Definitely not just afraid.

“Today has been terrible,” She yawned. Then, almost as an afterthought, “I meant it when I said I’m not mad at you.”

"... Maybe not mad, but you sound upset."

Cloth rustling, “ and you sound very concerned for a Nobody.”

"That's-" Nope. No comeback. She had him there. Xigbar went silent, frowning.

“ You don’t have to really- honestly, I’m just speaking recreationally here,” She said, “ I have been for the past few minutes. I want you on the line and- I don’t know- vocalizing? That sounds weird-” yawn “ -vocalizing at me, I guess. Just. But I think i’m done with the conversation. I have been for a few minutes now. Don’t leave me, though. Just, fuck, say shit?”

"... Okay." Xigbar took a breath.

Okay, this was.. a relief. It didn't help the whole 'conflicting signals' thing she'd mentioned, but at least it was something. All that wasn't just her clamming up because she didn't like him now, or something. Not that he was worried about that. Definitely not. He didn't care.

He launched into some story about finding Demyx slacking off somewhere and blackmailing him into doing his missions for a week- Something light. Inconsequential. He needed to shake off all the concern that had been driving him. Not that he was concerned. He wasn't.

"... And then- You know where I found him the next day? Same broom closet. Dude didn't even switch up his hiding places. He's lucky it wasn't Saïx that found him, otherwise he would've had a lot worse to deal with than a few extra missions."

A yawn. “ Today’s been rough,” She muttered, “ Wish you were here, Braig.”

"... I wish I was, too." If he was, he probably wouldn't have had to make that deal. Threatening that freak would've worked in person. He could've gotten her out of there a lot sooner, too. "I will be soon."

“ I know,” She said, “ I just wish that wouldn’t, like, harbinge.”

"Maybe I can get everyone out of it. I think if I threaten [name redacted] in person, that would work. I wouldn't kill him, but I could maim him a little. Just enough to show him I mean business. Scare him into fucking off."

“ I still want to watch through the movies with you. But I- maybe they’ll be a distraction? You’ll be- once you get here, you’re staying, right?”

"Of course I am. I'm not leaving you alone in there."

She hummed. “You kept picking the left side of the bed.”

"Do- Do you want the left side?"

Cloth rustling, “ I don’t- when I- remember when I wrecked your shit?”

"I still have the bruises. I'm surprised nothing broke.”

“ Right side of the bed will do that to ya,” She muttered tiredly, “ fucked up and evil side of the bed. 1000 devils in the world and 999 of them are on the right side of the bed. And the last one is hiding under it. Right side of the bed is the leading cause of death in our nation today,,,” She trailed off.

"Doll, if you want to take the left side, you can have it." Is he allowed to laugh? He's not gonna laugh. Just to be safe. Things feel better; he didn't want to fuck it up. "Even better, we just get one that's super wide and sleep perpendicular. Instead of right and left, there's up and down."

Quiet laughter.

"Get bunk beds. I already have that camp counselor shirt, right? It'll fit." She was laughing, so might as well keep making jokes. Fix this godforsaken conversation.

“ Bunk beds defeat the purpose,” She muttered, “And it’s only the right side, anyway. I’m fine on the left. Do you have horses where you’re from? These sentences are connected.”

"Uah- Not really- Probably a good thing. Horses freak me out. Too fragile."

“ Sometimes, there exist horses that are fine if you are on one side and kick murder death death kill die one thousand deaths if you are on the other,,, It’s me i’m horses.”

"I figured as much. You definitely kick like one."

“ Pirate-ass.”

" Hey, that's surfer pirate to you, madam."

She giggled, and he heard a kind of wsh-wsh-wsh-wsh cloth type sound, like she was kicking her feet under the covers, “ Gods, never call me ‘madam’. Me and my horse kicks will find you.”

"Alright, alright, I won't. Don't need you actually breaking my nose this time. Got enough going on with my face." He laughed. "What do you want me to call you, then?"

Silence.

"Come on, you gotta have something you like." Definitely subtle. Good job, Xigbar.

“ Ummmm,” She hummed thoughtfully, “ Doll is fine, that’s fun. I guess I haven’t really thought about it. Haven’t ever had to. I… I… if you wanted to, you could use [OM2T], but not around anyone. Top secret. And no one else can use it or they die one thousand deaths. And I melt like a witch. But you could.”

"You sure? You hate that name- Why would you want me to call you something like that?"

“ You’re different. Besides, I hate [OMITTED LAYER 2] and [OMIT-2]ie. [OM2T] is nice. It’s elegant. Exclusive. And no one’s ever called me that before. You can though. Imagine I am handing you a [OM2T] license along with the license to kill i am returning.”

"'Different'... Oh." It was all he heard. He completely zoned out after that. It felt. Weird. Sure, he'd heard Stanley say it, but that was Stanley. He didn't care what that button eater thought of him. Showie, though…

Why did he care? He wasn't supposed to.

"Oh."

“ You okay Braig?”

"Y-Yeah- fine." Definitely not fine. He wasn't supposed to be feeling anything.

Was his…? No. It had never happened before, it can't be happening now. It can't.

“ You don’t sound fine,” She sounded concerned and a lot less sleepy, like he’d woken her with…

She continued, “ You sound… are you okay? If- if that was too much, I can back off-”

" Did you know…" he started. "Under the right conditions- Hearts can, uh- they can grow back?"

“Oh!” She sounded… delighted? “ I mean- oohh, are you okay?” Concerned again.

"... Nice save, doll."

“ I thought so, yeah,” She said.

"So… that's what the problem was earlier, huh?"

“ Imagine if someone had been flirting with you for the past month and then they said ‘Oh, yeah, by the way, I’m completely numb and have no emotions. You think I liked you? As if!’” She said with a not so flattering Xigbar impression.

"I don't sound like that." Yeah, that's the only problem he had with that. Sure.

“ Yeah, okay, Braig. Sure.” She sounded like she was holding something back. Maybe a laugh. Maybe another ‘as if’.

"You suck." He grinned and flopped down against the wall. "Did you really think I don't like you?"

“ You literally said yo-” a pause. “ Nevermind.” Though she didn’t sound angry.

"I told you my name. I feel like that should've been some kind of giveaway." Wait. Wait. What the fuck was he saying. This wasn't normal.

“ It was a giveaway. Then you confused me. We’re good now.”

"Skill issue."

“ Oh-! Die one thousand deaths in the spike pit, Braig, the skill issue is on you for being incapable of speaking to women.”

"Are you victim blaming me for getting keyblade stabbed?" He gasped in mock hurt. "I thought you were better than that, doll. Shame on you."

“ Skill issue on your part for not remembering when I said ‘Did someone hurt you’ and you said ‘Oh no, doll, don’t worry, I chose this.”

"I am being victim blamed right now. You're harassing me. I'm being harassed. I'm so hurt. Jail for Showie! Jail for 1000 years!"

“ Silence, goon, ” She said.

" You silence, girlboss."

He heard her chuckle.

"So, what were you saying about Demyx?"

"Oh, yeah…-"

[themculibrary]

Joaquin Torres Masterlist

A Helping Hand (ao3) - JediStormbringer joaquín/sam E, 2k

Summary: Joaquín has a crush on Sam, but he's got it well in hand, so to speak. Or at least he thinks he does, until Sam discovers him in the shower --moaning Sam's name.

Bizzarely Wise (ao3) - The_Buzz T, 1k

Summary: When Torres is shot down on a training mission far from home, Sam feels responsible.

butterfly (ao3) - buckyismybicycle bucky/joaquin/sam E, 2k

Summary: Joaquin can do it - he can prove himself on this mission! Except, his horniness distracts him and now Bucky and Sam have to save him. Except, he didn't need saving. He needed to be dicked down.

Could Heaven Ever Be Like This? (ao3) - ItchyToaster bucky/joaquin/sam E, 9k

Summary: “Hey, Captain,” Joaquín takes the hand extended to him, expecting a handshake, but instead, Sam brings him into a hug. He leans into the embrace, the warmth strong enough to rival the rising sun. He savors the way Sam’s strong arms wrap around him, how they always catch him when he falls, and Joaquín wishes they’d hold onto him, push him into—

“Morning, Sam!”

Ah, right. Bucky.

Every Nervous Prayer (I'll Keep It Safe) (ao3) - ElleBishop bucky/joaquin/sam E, 4k

Summary: the one where Joaquín Torres gets his dreams met (and his dreams are getting absolutely railed by Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes)

Five Times Joaquín Torres Isn't an Undercover Flag Smasher and One Time [REDACTED] (ao3) - silver_penny T, 5k

Summary: Of course, it's not the Blip until everyone comes back.

Mr. November (ao3) - the_crown_jules joaquín/sam M, 1k

Summary: "I hate to break it to you, J, you are not bringing the smolder right now.”

“The smolder?” Joaquín laughed.

“The smolder,” Sam confirmed, lowering his camera. “The bedroom eyes. The look that’s gonna sell a calendar when everyone has more clothes on than usual.” Sam looking at Joaquín and saying ‘bedroom eyes’ would probably help things get started. Joaquín took a deep breath and willed his dick to chill out. It was complicated, he reminded himself. Thinking of Sam as “the love of his life” when Sam thought of him as “Torres” was complicated.

“Think of it like a new Falcon training module,” Sam said. “Smoldering 101."

With Sam taking the photos for the Avengers charity calendar, Joaquín starts to get hot under the collar.

never been a natural (all i do is try, try, try) (ao3) - notcaycepollard bucky/joaquin/sam M, 15k

Summary: So, like, cool, Torres is on a three-man team with crushes on both his team-mates and now both his crushes are fucking slash probably in love, that's an absolutely feasible long-term situation. He can handle this, no sweat. No problem.

now that you're here (ao3) - glittercake joaquín/sam E, 2k

Summary: And oh god. Okay. This was a mistake; Joaquín might not make it after all. He might just melt into a puddle of lust. He should have stayed in his lane and watched Rick and Morty like he planned to. Because now he's in the Falcon's hotel room, and what now, genius? What the hell now?

Racing Pulse (ao3) - the_crown_jules, yammz joaquín/sam E, 4k

Summary: Joaquín keeps his promises, even the ones he makes to himself. For a long time, he promised himself that he wouldn’t let his one-sided feelings for his teammate Sam get in the way of the race. But when a crash in the Monaco Grand Prix gives them both a scare, Joaquín makes a new promise: not to get back on the circuit without knowing whether his feelings aren’t so one-sided after all.

take my hand, wreck my plans (that's my man) (ao3) - notcaycepollard bucky/joaquin/sam E, 8k

Summary: The first Bucky figures there’s something wrong is when Torres kisses him.

"Your buddy got dosed," one of their prisoners says helpfully. "Our chemist hit him in the face with whatever she was working on. Probably a sex drug."

“What’ll happen?” Bucky asks. Pinches the bridge of his nose; he really hadn't banked on criminal sex drugs being a part of his day. “If he doesn’t… Christ, if he doesn’t fuck it out? Will he be okay?”

“I dunno. He’s young and healthy, could be fine in a few hours. Or his heart could explode, it’s hard to say.”

“I really don’t want my heart to explode,” Torres says, his voice small.

“Well, yeah,” Sam agrees. “That’s the worst-case scenario, clearly.”

too young to burn (ao3) - weird_bird (2weird4) joaquín/sam E, 3k

Summary: Joaquín thinks about the intonation with which Sam says wingman, thinks about their relative ages and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. “When you say wingman…?”

“Nothing gets past you, huh, kid.” Sam’s smile is affectionate while his eyes are weary, sad enough to make Joaquín’s heart squeeze in a hurting way.

Wanna Kiss Me and Find Out? (ao3) - liminal_mess bucky/joaquin/sam E, 3k

Summary: He’s not jealous exactly, just frustrated that they haven’t crossed that line with him, all lingering looks and flirting but no follow through. They do treat him with a lot of respect, which is great to have at work, really. It is.

But respectfully speaking, he also wants to be fucked within an inch of his life by the two men.

Or, in which Joaquín shoots his shot and wins.

Whose Heart Would Not Take Flight (ao3) - ElisabethMonroe sam/bucky T, 4k

Summary: During Joaquin's first real mission as the Falcon, Sam Wilson's worry and past fears take him over

[erensangel444]

you got me mesmerized!

gojo satoru x reader

the title is inspired by loverboy by a-wall

this blurb is gojo x fem!reader, if you guys would want to see some gender neutral fics just let me know in my asks inbox! i’m open to any suggestions, if you want a fic that’s specifically tailored to you whether that be race-wise, gender-wise, any disabilities, etc,. just let me know!

likes/reblogs/comments are always appreciated:D

this blurb has been proofread but if i missed something just let me know!

i want gojo to **** me like a **** and [REDACTED]😁😁

a/n: i’m waiting for crunchyroll to take ep 21 off of premium, also i was surprised to hear jjk’s dub, it’s pretty good. i fell in love with the show, not only cause the character’s are FINE, but it’s fucking amazing, and the animation...*chefs kiss*

edit: i just checked and ep 21 is available on crunchyroll now!!!

warnings: language(most of my fics do contain explicit language), mentions of alcohol consumption, smut: masturbation(male), unprotected sex w/ creampie, degradation, brat taming, denial of orgasm(male!receiving, only once). 

word count: 1.3k

summary: gojo dragged you up to the club last night, and ended up in your bed the next morning. how many times has this happened? too many. do you want it to keep happening? yes.

the sun warming your face was a gentle nudge to a not-so-gentle state of wakefulness. you were hungover, how could you not be? you and gojo had taken at least 4 shots last night, on top of drinking multiple rums and cokes, gojo nudging you to try a sex on the beach, ‘you should try it at least once,’ falling from his lips with a smirk.

gojo. you had forgotten he had slept over last night, there were pieces of last that you didn’t even remember, though it wasn’t hard to recall what happened after you made it home last night. gojo gave it to you, and you took it. 

you turned over to meet his sleeping figure, his blind fold discarded somewhere on the floor. he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, so calm, it differed greatly from the energy that accompanied gojo when he was awake. 

“take a picture while you’re at it,” gojo mumbled, a soft smirk showing on his face. “shut up,” you huffed, laying back down and facing away from him. “no, i was joking!” gojo whined, nuzzling his face into your neck and blowing raspberries onto your skin, causing you to laugh, gojo chuckling at the sound.

“don’t wanna get up yet,” he mumbled into your skin. you could feel his morning wood against your backside as you chuckled, moving away from gojo’s body. “well seems like part of you is,” you said, heading towards the bathroom. “not gonna help a man out?” you could hear gojo joke as you walked away. “i fully believe in your ability to take care of yourself,” you yelled back, laughing as you started brushing your teeth. 

after washing your face, and flossing you headed back to the room to ask gojo if he wanted some coffee, but instead, you were met by something much more surprising. of course he would, “i was kidding!” you yelped, shielding your eyes. “i wasn’t” gojo mused, his hand leisurely stroking his cock. 

“d-do you want coffee,” “actually, y-yeah” his voice faltered from the slight pleasure, “coffee sounds good,”. you nodded, your cheeks flushed red, walking back out the door. “wait, y/n!” “hmm?” you hummed, still facing away from gojo. 

“why are you so stiff? don’t ya wanna help me out?” gojo remarked. he had moved closer now, he was right behind you, you could feel his breath on your ear. “gojo...” you whined, gojo’s hand drifting to the front of your figure, grabbing at your breasts through your sleep shirt. “hmm?” he hummed in response to your whine. 

“tell me what you want,” he rasped into your ear, one of his hands drifting down to your panty clad center. “want you,” your voice had slowly become more desperate, gojo’s thumb rubbing slow circles over your fabric-covered clit. “you were so shy before, what happened to that?” “toru!” you whined, your nickname for him slipping out. 

gojo laughed picking you up, and carrying you the few steps back to the bed before throwing you down onto it. “well since you wanted to be a brat before,” you pouted, “i think you should do all the work,” gojo finished, the smirk so obvious on his features. 

“fine,” you said plainly, tugging at his arm for him to lie on the bed. gojo had yet to move, still standing above you, and grinning. “gojo!” “fine, fine, if you want it that bad,” he teased. 

gojo positioned himself to sit against the headboard, you maneuvered to hover over gojo, your hand at the base of his cock, the tip of his cock at your entrance. pushing the head inside, you slowly started to sink down, wincing at the slight burn from the intrusion.

after bottoming out, you sighed for a moment, adjusting. you felt gojo’s hand come down on your ass, the sound from the slap resonating throughout the room. “get to it,” he said, his voice breathless. you clicked your tongue to the roof of your mouth, intent on giving gojo a taste of his own medicine 

you bounced relentlessly on his cock, clenching your walls purposely when you would grind for a moment. “f-fuck!” gojo moaned, throwing his head back. “g-gonna cum angel! n-need you to cum first,”. 

you were on the edge yourself, but you had better plans for gojo. you paused your movements, gojo’s cock still fully inside of you, but no movement. “w-what,” gojo whined, opening his eyes to look at you. you could see slight tears brimming in his eyes. “god, you’re so fucking” gojo mumbled, lifting you off of his cock. 

“wanted to be a brat, huh? gonna make me do it myself,” gojo had flipped you over, your ass in the air, your face down in the pillow. “i’ll show you how brats get treated,” gojo said his voice gravely. gojo pushed into you, inch by inch. he sat for a few seconds before pulling out and roughly thrusting back into you. “s-satoru!” you moaned. one of gojo’s hand pressed your face further into the pillow, his body atop yours, your back pressed against his chest as his cock rammed into you. 

you were blabbering nonsense, your drool falling onto the pillow. gojo let out a laugh that turned into a fluttery moan before he spoke, “i’m fucking you dumb, aren’t i? you can dish it out, but can’t take it?” “g-gojo please!” you whined. gojo laughed louder this time, his hand that had been pushing your hand into the pillow delegating down to your clit. 

“come on, cum for me,” gojo growled, his fingers rubbing quicker circles on the bundle. “been such a bad girl, but i’m letting you cum, i think you ought to say thank you,” his tone had become so condescending and, god, you loved it. “th-thank you gojo! thank you!” gojo began thrusting harder, your orgasm teetering on the edge. “look at me as you say it,” his voice deeper than before. you strained your neck to turn around and look at gojo, “t-thank you toru!” “fuck!” he groaned, his voice and his cock pushing you over the edge.

your orgasm was intense, reverberating throughout the entirety of your body. upon feeling your walls clench on his cock, gojo was pushed into his own orgasm, his warm seed filling you up. you sighed at the feeling, the warmth spreading inside of you. 

gojo pulled out of you, flopping down onto the bed next to you. without gojo’s hands holding onto you, your whole body felt like jelly as your knees no longer supported you, your legs sliding until you laid flat on the mattress. 

“coffee?” gojo asked, still breathless. you mustered up a little laugh, turning over to gojo who was already smiling at you. “bathroom first,” you sighed, pointing at gojo. gojo jumped out of the bed, running over to your side as he held his arms out to pick you up. 

after using the bathroom, you had thrown back on your sleep shirt, gojo grabbing out a pair of sweats from your bottom drawer, from the drawer that had been designated as his drawer. he smiled at the thought. walking in to the kitchen, gojo had started some coffee, the liquid dripping into the pot. 

it was nice, sitting with gojo, drinking coffee and talking. you had been pretty good friends before this whole arrangement, so you were glad that nothing had changed. eventually gojo had to leave, much to your dismay, but you did have a pretty busy day yourself also. 

he hustled out of your apartment, but not before leaving a soft kiss on your lips, much to your surprise. gojo wasn’t one for goodbye kisses, or even monogamous relationships for that matter, so the sweet gesture warmed your heart.

you looked up at gojo who had a slight blush on his cheeks as he grinned at you. he hurried down your hall, towards the elevator, waving bye when the ‘ding!’ sounded, the elevator doors opening.

3 hours later you recieved a text from gojo. usually after these nights together, it wouldn’t be a week until you did it again, but gojo felt there was no need to wait. he just wanted to be near you. 

‘drinks tonight? ;)’

fin

thank you guys so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed:D this was my first jujutsu kaisen piece!

so much love to you, take care of yourself<3

[sageinacage]

Hi! Saw your post about Sap and Tubbo and I’ve missed their dynamic sm so I wanted to send in a request! How about lee Tubbo and ler Sapnap? Maybe Sapnap wanted to see if Tubbo was just as ticklish as he was back then and uses one of his favorite tactics a bunch, raspberries?

Still the Same summary: sapnap wants to know if tubbo is still as ticklish as before, in his own sapnap way. a/n: sorry for the wait :( low motivation bc of personal stuff happening, but im doing a bit better so i wanted to get this out asap! hope u enjoy :D warnings: swearing, sapnap is Evil (/lh) w/c: 1.6k DSMP, Platonic

~

Everyone always says it’s easier to clear your thoughts from a high altitude. Why is that? No one knows, though no one is going to question it either. It’s always nice to enjoy the breeze from up above.

The only problem is, finding that high altitude and then having to climb up to it.

Tubbo closed his home door behind him, glancing around to find some sort of easy-access place he can sit for a while. As the boy walked around, he was quick to notice the gentle breeze that brushed against his cheeks and over his nose.

He sighed, enjoying the perfect weather present on this day, deciding to start walking down the path to town. As he walked, he chuckled as he recognized the spot he was standing at.

The day he and Sapnap had a playful bicker. It involved Tubbo making fun of the demon for miswording something, and a playful fight lasting afterward. The boy chuckled to himself, then his eyes widening.

Thinking about his old friend reminded him of the hill they used to hang out on. The perfect altitude to sit at, might he add. Now walking with intention, Tubbo smiled at the old memories that were unfolding in his brain.

“Here it is, it feels like it’s been years,” Tubbo spoke softly, arriving at the same hill he and Sapnap used to goof off on ages ago. He smiled contently, plopping down on the grass, and leaned against an oak tree that sat on the hill.

He let his head relax back, enjoying the nice breeze brush through his hair and the convenient shade the oak tree provided for him. The people were right, this is a good place to clear some thoughts up.

Meanwhile, a certain demon was also heading somewhere to relax for the day, wanting a break from all the serious ‘bullshit,’ as he would call it. Sapnap looked up at the tree that rested on his favorite hill and saw a figure under it.

He smiled to himself, recognizing a certain ram hybrid settled underneath the shade of the luscious tree. With a mischievous smirk, Sapnap tip-toed up the hill, avoiding any crinkly leaves or twigs along the way, motivated to startle his old friend.

Oh, how much Sapnap missed being so goofy and carefree. It was honestly a natural instinct to playfully mess with Tubbo, almost like how siblings always try to push each other's buttons. It’s safe to say he saw the boy as a little brother.

“Tubbo!” Sapnap squealed, whipping his head around the tree with a giddy smile. “Sap… Sapnap?! Where did you even come from?!” Tubbo gasped, holding his heart dramatically at the sudden scare.

“From down the hill, you goof.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t, why’re you smiling then?” Sapnap sniggered, earning an eye roll from the ram. “Because you’re annoying, and it’s making me smile because of how annoying you are.”

The demon snorted a laugh. Tubbo really was the sassy boy he always remembered.

The two settled underneath the tree together, just catching up. They really needed it, it was obvious on both sides that they both missed each other dearly.

They missed the playful bickering and fights they’d have over literally nothing, maybe a piece of bread if anything. Tubbo especially missed the warm feeling he got while around Sapnap. Was it the feeling of coziness inside of him, similar to the feeling of home you get when you’re around someone you’re genuinely fond of- or was it just that Sapnap is warm because he’s a literal fire demon? Probably both.

All was content and nice until Sapnap had to bring up a redacted memory, one Tubbo couldn’t think about without a wild blush spreading across his face.

“Hey Tubs, do you remember the tickle fights we used to have? Well, not exactly fights since you never put anything up- Ow!” Sapnap rubbed his shoulder where the boy flicked him, a grumpy but obviously flustered scowl painted on his face.

“Embarrassed, are we? C’mon, it’s not like you’re still that ticklish anymore!”

The embarrassed squeak that left Tubbo really just made all the dignity he had left drain away.

“...Or are you?” Sapnap continued, his curious glance turning into a dark grin. “Hey there- buddy, friend, mate- you d- don’t gotta… gotta do it… actually I think it’s getting late and I should be getting home!” Nervous giggles poured out of the boy, shuffling backward on the grass.

Sapnap just shook his head. “I don’t think you’re going anywhere, Tubbo. Not until I get my answer!~”

Oh shit. A surprised squeal left Tubbo as he was wrestled onto the ground, though the boy was strong as well and fought back. “Oh, actually fighting back, are we?~ Now that’s a change!” Sapnap teased, making Tubbo’s body go limp.

‘Teasing makes him go all jelly, got it.’ Sapnap thought with a snicker, looking down at his friend.

“S- Sapnap… dohoHON’T- SAHAPNAP!” Tubbo barked out a laugh, trying to twist on his side away from the prodding fingers on the right side of his ribcage. “Nuh-uh, you aren’t going anywhere, mister!” Sapnap sniggered as he pushed the boy’s hips on the ground, drilling his thumbs into the bones in the process.

A loud shriek left Tubbo, failing to buck Sapnap off of him. He fell limp against the grass, knowing that he wasn’t gonna get out of the predicament anytime soon. Not that he exactly wanted to, though.

“Remember you can tell me to stop whenever you’d like me to, bud.” The demon’s face softened into a more reassuring look, slowing down his tickles. Tubbo nodded, opening his mouth to speak before being interrupted with another screech.

Sapnap’s fingers found the sides of his lower stomach, massaging his fingers into the soft skin. This seemed to be successful, Sapnap found.

“SAP-HEHEHEHAHA- F- FUHuhuck ohohoff!” He continued to squirm, stomping his hooves in the plush grass behind Sapnap. “D’awww, Tubbo!~ That wasn’t very nice, was it? Maybe I should remind you of my favorite tactic?” Sapnap raised an eyebrow, relishing in the immediate anticipatory high-pitched giggles that emitted from the smaller boy.

“Do you remember? I think you do, champ! I think you remember all the nibbles and raspberries I used to give to your cute lil’ tummy- and oh how bad they tickled!~ Are you excited? I think you areeee, I can hear your tail thumping on the grass!”

Note taken; Sapnap was still as evil as before.

“Y- Yohou’re so mehehean!” Tubbo whined, covering his bright red cheeks, his shirt riding up with his arms raising. “Uh oh, Tubbo… Look what I have here! A perfect snack right in front of me!~” The man cooed, dragging his dull claws over the ram’s belly before leaning down and blowing a big raspberry right beneath his belly button.

“SHIHIHIHIT! N- NOHOT THAHAT!” Tubbo shrieked, arching his back up. “Not this? Alright, your wish is my command, champ! Guess I have no choice but to do this instead…” He chuckled slowly before beginning to gently nibble on Tubbo’s lower belly, moving up the side to nibble near his waist.

Fuck Sapnap and his stupid stubble, and his even dumber fangs.

“SAAAAHAP- NONONONOHOHOHO!” Tubbo pleaded, weakly pushing at Sapnap’s head, but the damn thing didn’t budge even a centimeter. “No? Okay!~” He giggled, going back to plant another raspberry over the side of his belly.

Arching his back again, the ram dug his hooves in the grass to try to ease the sensations at least a little bit, but the ticklish stubble dragging around his tummy kept making him go limp. “F- FUHUCK YOHOU- Y- YOHOU’RE SO BAAAHAD!” Tubbo retaliated, yet again trying to twist away but his hips were only pushed back down onto the grass.

“I think you need a little manners lesson, don’tcha think, Tubso?~ N’awww, don’t pout at me, you know I’ll just have to do… this…” Sapnap huffed in a breath, Tubbo squealing in anticipation, but then silence.

Tubbo relaxed his muscles as the raspberry didn’t happen- never mind. It happened.

“FUHUHUCK- PLEEEHEHEHEASE!” Tubbo’s body went completely jelly, the tickling too much for him to fight back anymore. Sapnap looked up, a shit-eating grin on his face. “You were so bold a few seconds ago, what happened? Hmmm?~ Cat got your tongue, Tubbo? Let’s fix that.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around Tubbo's waist so he couldn't buck away from his attack.

Raspberry after raspberry, Tubbo knew he couldn’t handle it anymore. “STOHOHAHAHAP! E- ENOHOUGH!” His voice was squeaky and tickled-out, taking deep breaths as he laid down completely limp on the soft grass.

“You alright there, Tubso?”

“Mahahaybe…”

“Here, let me help.” Sapnap smiled, but it was softer this time- way different than the evil grins he was giving while tickling the life out of the poor boy. The demon laid the ram across his lap, gently carding his fingers through his plush hair.

“C- can yohou… keep gohoing? But- gehentle this t- tihime?” Tubbo stuttered out, Sapnap audibly cooing at the sweet boy. “Of course, it would be my pleasure- seeing how evil I was earlier.” He jested, earning an exaggerated noise of agreement from Tubbo.

He snickered, tracing his dull claws in random shapes over the boy’s belly, letting them graze up and down his sides and back down to circle around his hips. The affectionate light tickles were making the tickled-out boy sleepy, as he curled up in the warm demon’s lap and softly snored as sleep swept over him.

“Sleep well, bud. I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ve missed you, y’know that?”

[emospritelet]

Heatstroke - chapter 24/24

Last time, Gold confronted Zelena over trying to frame Regina, and Lacey caught the whole show on tape. This is the final chapter! Happy endings FTW!

[AO3]

x

Lacey set down the camera on the shop counter, and raised an eyebrow at Gold.

“So,” she said. “What do you want to do?”

He inclined his head, lifting a hand and letting it fall.

“It appears you have a story to tell about Miss West,” he remarked. “I feel the choice is very much yours. Perhaps Mr Glass can be persuaded that running an exposé is in the public interest.”

Lacey hesitated.

“Yeah, I think he would,” she acknowledged. “It’s just - Mayor Mills doesn’t know, does she? About Zelena.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I think maybe we should tell her,” said Lacey. “Before it all comes out, I mean. That would be the decent thing to do, wouldn’t it?”

“It would,” he agreed, and let out a heavy sigh, his head rolling back. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”

“What is?”

He raised his head again, sending her a stern look.

“It appears I’ve discovered a conscience,” he said. “The rumour was I didn’t have one. I blame you for this outrage.”

Lacey giggled, and leaned in to kiss him.

“Does that mean you’ll come with me to break the news?” she asked, and he offered his arm.

“To the Mayor’s office,” he said. “I’m sure Regina will be just delighted to see us.”

-

“This can’t be true.” Regina was staring at Lacey’s phone, having watched the recording twice. “This - this is impossible!”

“This must be a hell of a shock,” said Lacey, and Regina shook her head.

“I always thought she disliked me, but Mal told me I was being paranoid,” she said. “All this time she was plotting to ruin my life because my mother abandoned her? The nerve of the woman!”

“I guess sibling rivalry’s tough to deal with,” said Lacey. “Makes me glad I’m an only child.”

“Well, she certainly has my mother’s ambition and vindictiveness,” said Regina, with a sigh. “I don’t suppose you know anything about the father?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Gold. “Did your mother ever hint that you had a half-sister?”

Regina shook her head.

“She never spoke about her youth,” she said. “Other than to tell me she had to fight for anything she could get and I should do the same.”

She handed the phone back to Lacey and frowned at Gold.

“Exactly how long have you known about this?” she demanded, and he smiled.

“I heard what you did,” he said.

“That wasn’t what I asked,” she said coldly. “I know you, Gold. Were you holding onto this information until it was of use to you?”

“You think I’m working against you?” he asked, in a mild tone.

“I think you never do anything that doesn’t benefit you.”

“Well, perhaps you don’t know me as well as you think,” he said. “Or perhaps we assess risks and benefits differently. Either way, you have Miss French to thank for the investigation of her past and this recording. I merely - encouraged a confession.”

“Quite the sleuthing team,” said Regina, in a dry tone. “Can we expect a new office in town? French Gold, Private Investigators?”

“I don’t mind investigating his privates,” said Lacey, and Gold shot her a very level look as Regina curled her lip.

“Thanks, I’m going to spend the rest of the evening trying and failing to get that image out of my head.”

“You’re welcome,” said Lacey cheerfully.

“The question for you,” said Gold, “is how are you going to handle this? Miss French has quite a scoop on her hands, but she wanted to bring it to you first before raising it with Mr Glass.”

Regina shot Lacey a grateful look before sitting back in her chair with a sigh.

“There’s supposed to be a debate,” she said. “The two of us up on stage. You think it’s her intention to reveal the whole sordid story in front of the whole town?”

“I don’t believe she wants the rest of the town to know,” said Gold. “If they did, then her whole campaign reeks of sour grapes. She’ll want to play on the image she’s created while she’s been here. However inaccurate it is.”

Regina growled under her breath.

“I can’t believe I’m having to go through this charade!” she snapped. “I’m supposed to stand there and - and debate her when she’s trying to frame me for corruption and destroy my life!”

“We don’t have any actual evidence that she’s tried to frame you,” said Lacey, and Regina nodded impatiently.

“I know, I know. Nothing court worthy on that tape, however much she hinted at it,” she said. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to hand it over to the Sheriff, get him to look into it.”

“If you agree to an exclusive interview with me after the debate, sure,” said Lacey quickly, and almost blushed as Gold shot her an approving look. Regina drummed her fingers on the desk.

“She’s far too good for you, Gold,” she said abruptly. “I hope you know that.”

He smirked at that, winking at Lacey.

“Oh, I’m well aware.”

-

Gold was finding it hard to stop grinning like an idiot now that he and Lacey were dating, and even found himself unexpectedly granting rent extensions, much to the surprise of nervous tenants. He made dinner for her again later in the week, and she stayed the night, Darcy curled at their feet as they drifted into sleep. It was pleasant being nuzzled awake by a purring cat and finding Lacey in his arms. It was a feeling he could get used to.

They had eventually managed to finish the interview, most of which was carried out in bed, and he had found himself telling her things he had previously had no intention of revealing. He blamed that on Lacey; it was difficult to maintain his usual cool distance when she was wearing his discarded shirt and looking at him as though he was a particularly delicious snack. She kept her word about giving him the final say on the article, however, and upon reading her draft, he noted that she had kept some of the more personal details to herself. He only felt the need to redact a couple of minor points about his early life, but was happy to let the remainder stand as it was. If the rest of Storybrooke was surprised at the intimacy of the piece and his sudden desire to be open about his life - well, they could all go and fuck themselves, as far as he was concerned.

The only opinions he cared about were those of his family, and it wasn’t too long before Neal called. Gold sighed as he looked at the number flashing on his phone. They’re gonna tease me relentlessly about this. Emma especially.

Shaking his head and smirking to himself, he picked up.

“Dad, hi,” said Neal. “Thought you might have called to let us know how your big social occasion went. You’re not avoiding the issue, right?”

“Of course not,” said Gold. “Been a busy week, that’s all.”

“Uh-huh. Emma thought you’d say that.” Neal sounded amused. “She’s been dying to find out about the dance, so I said I’d call for an update.”

“Tell her she needs a better hobby than worrying about my social life,” said Gold dryly. “How’s Henry? I was wondering what to get for his birthday.”

“Nice attempt at deflection, but I’m not done with you,” said Neal. “Come on, how did it go?”

“Uh - it was fine,” said Gold.

“Did you ask Lacey to dance, like I said?”

“Yes.” Gold hesitated. “We’re - uh - sort of dating now.”

Neal whooped, making him grin.

“Way to go! See, I knew you could do it!”

“Yes, well.” Gold scratched the back of his neck, feeling awkward. “It’s early days, I suppose. Very early days, but it’s going well.”

“I am so happy for you, really. Wait until I tell Emma.”

“She’s gonna tease me, isn’t she?” said Gold dryly.

“No more than usual.”

“A lot, then.”

“Hey, her teasing comes from a place of love.”

“Hmm.” Gold was amused. “Well, you can tell her I love her too.”

“And you can tell Lacey we can’t wait to meet her,” said Neal, and Gold’s grin widened.

“I believe the feeling’s mutual,” he said.

“Good. How about in two weeks’ time?”

Gold smirked to himself.

“Excellent timing,” he said. “It’s the Mayoral debate and election.”

“I’m almost certain we can find something better to do than listen to some crusty old politicians.”

“I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised,” said Gold. “It could be an interesting night.”

-

The evening of the debate arrived more quickly than Lacey thought possible, and she was nervous about more than just reporting the evening’s events. Gold’s son and daughter-in-law were due any minute, and there was a tiny part of her that kept whispering that they wouldn’t approve, that they would wonder why the hell Gold, with his money and power and class, was dating the likes of her. Stressing over her coverage of the election was a welcome distraction from the unwelcome internal monologue, and she concentrated on getting her things together for the debate, checking the recording equipment on Gold’s kitchen table and fretting about the sound quality.

“You’ve already checked it three times,” he said. “It’s fine.”

“I’m supposed to be writing the front page article!” she snapped. “What happens if I fuck up and don’t get anything recorded? I’m gonna look like a total idiot and Sidney won’t trust me with anything more complex than the hot dog eating contest!”

“I can record everything on my phone, if you’re worried,” he said. “Besides, don’t you do shorthand?”

“Yeah, but—”

“You’ll be fine,” he said gently, and kissed her head. “I promise.”

The doorbell rang, and Lacey started, heart thumping.

“Relax, that’ll be Neal and Emma,” said Gold, heading for the door. Lacey frowned at his back.

“Relax, my arse,” she muttered, shoving the recording equipment into its bag.

There were voices from the hall, and a sudden burst of laughter, and she closed her eyes, willing herself to calm the hell down. Footsteps from the doorway made her look up, and she was greeted by a warm smile and an outstretched hand. Gold’s son had his eyes, and curling dark hair above a ready grin.

“I’m Neal,” he said. “Really pleased to meet you.”

“Lacey,” she said, shaking his hand. “Uh - likewise.”

She was reminded vividly of the fact that she had flashed him on their first encounter, and felt a blush start to rise in her cheeks. If Neal was thinking of it too, he was better at hiding it than she was. His wife was a pretty blonde, with a kind look in her eyes and a plump baby in her arms, who was glancing around curiously at everything.

“This is Emma,” added Neal, “and that’s Henry.”

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” said Emma, shooting Gold a teasing look.

“Well, I won’t ask if it was all good, because I’m willing to bet it wasn’t,” said Lacey, and they chuckled.

“Maybe not at first,” admitted Emma. “Don’t hold it against the old bastard, though.”

“Oh, believe me, the feeling was mutual,” said Lacey.

“I’m standing right here,” said Gold evenly.

Lacey caught Emma’s eye and returned her grin. She felt herself relax a little, and leaned over to kiss Gold’s cheek.

“We got there in the end,” she said. “Uh - how hungry are you guys? I didn’t even think about dinner.”

She shot Gold a look, hoping that he would suggest something, and he nodded.

“We’ll head to Granny’s after the debate,” said Gold. “I have no doubt that Lacey will be demonstrating her excellent skill as a journalist, and I’d hate for you to miss it.”

“No pressure then,” said Lacey, and he smiled.

“You’re writing the article for the Mirror front page,” he said. “You have an exclusive with the Mayor herself after the debate. Sidney Glass clearly believes you to be as capable as I do.”

“Yeah, because I got that interview with you,” she said. “I didn’t tell him we were naked when I got most of that info.”

Neal closed his eyes with a pained expression.

“Shows ingenuity if you ask me,” said Emma abruptly. “I can usually get a ton of stuff out of Neal when we’re naked. Must run in the family.”

It was Gold’s turn to look pained. Neal put his hands over his face with a heavy sigh, and Lacey and Emma chuckled. Lacey decided that she liked both Emma and Neal very much. She zipped her bag and nodded to Gold.

“Okay,” she said. “Wish me luck.”

-

The town hall was filled with residents, chatting amongst themselves and casting curious glances at the empty stage. Ruby was seated next to Leroy on the third row back, and she winked at Lacey as she and Gold took their own seats. Ruby had been delighted to hear that the two of them had started seeing one another, and had only made a salacious comment to Gold on one occasion. Maybe two.

“Big turnout,” said Neal, glancing around. “I had no idea the people in this town were so into politics.”

“Usually they don’t bother,” said Gold. “The Mayor getting some competition appears to have piqued their interest.”

As though his voice had summoned her, Regina walked onto the stage, chin held high, looking calm and competent in a sharp black suit. Zelena followed, in a green dress with a soft silk scarf around her neck and gold hoops in her ears. A green folder was tucked under her arm, her hair tied up, and Lacey thought she was going for the image of a respectable school teacher. A gleam in her eye spoiled the look.

Dr Hopper was moderating the debate, and Lacey quickly checked her recording equipment and opened her laptop, rattling off a few sentences about the tense atmosphere of the hall and the opening statements from each of the candidates. Zelena gave a speech about decency and traditional values, at which Regina seemed to be stopping herself from rolling her eyes with some difficulty. Regina spoke of her record on town planning, law and order—she shot Zelena a look at that point—and prosperity.

“Thank you, ladies,” said Dr Hopper, when she was done. “Now, perhaps we’ll go to some questions from the press before we deal with those the townsfolk have submitted.”

“I have a question for Miss West,” said Lacey, in a loud, clear voice, shoving her laptop at Gold as she got to her feet.

Zelena’s mouth twisted, her smile more of a grimace.

“Of course,” she said lightly. “It’s - uh - I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”

She waved a languid hand, and Lacey felt her mouth flatten.

“Lacey French, Storybrooke Mirror,” she said evenly, and Zelena let out a tinkling laugh.

“Of course, silly me,” she trilled. “How could I forget Storybrooke’s eager young reporter? Lending the local newspaper such an air of class in that - lovely - outfit.”

There was a muttering amongst the townsfolk, and Lacey distinctly heard Ruby say ‘What a bitch!’, but she smiled sweetly as though she hadn’t understood the insult.

“Yeah, I have a question about your motivation for running for Mayor,” she said. “You said yourself you’ve never been involved in politics, so what inspired you to make this move now?”

Zelena smiled widely.

“Well, as I said, I thought about where I could do the most good,” she said. “Storybrooke is a wonderful town, with many excellent qualities, but talking to its residents has made me realise that there’s a feeling that it may be lacking direction. I sense a need for a return to the basics of community. Neighbourliness. Family values. The traditions of small-town America that we all grew up with.”

“But you grew up in England,” said Lacey. “Wasn’t your father a diplomat? How do you know this view of America is either accurate or desirable?”

Zelena’s nostrils flared as she continued to smile brightly.

“Well,” she said. “Who’s been doing her homework?”

“Yeah, it’s just that people hear politicians mention tradition and family values, and all too often it’s a smoke-screen to hide racism and homophobia,” went on Lacey. “How would you address those concerns?”

Zelena spread her hands.

“I’d say look at my record,” she said. “Since I moved here I’ve made it clear that I’m happy to work with people of all backgrounds. It’s important that no one feels left out, and my initial conversations have led me to believe that there are concerns, and that some residents feel that their interests are not - fully appreciated - by the Mayor.”

“What kind of interests?” asked Lacey quickly, before Zelena could turn away, and her mouth twisted again as she tried to keep smiling.

“As I said, some feel that traditional family values are being lost in the push for modernity,” she said. “I’d like to reassure them that I stand for everything that Storybrooke represents. Decency. Morality.”

“Does that mean you think the Mayor is immoral?” asked Lacey, and Zelena pulled a face.

“I think there have been some questionable decisions at city hall under her watch, yes,” she said. “Does anyone really think that a seedy bar called Queens of Darkness is fitting for this town?”

“It’s a jazz club,” said Regina. “And there’ll be dance lessons each week. A perfectly respectable establishment, run by three accomplished businesswomen.”

Zelena let out that insincere laugh again, and Lacey sat down, retrieving her laptop from Gold and opening it up as Zelena addressed the room.

“Well, it’s not only the company the Mayor keeps,” she said. “We’ve all heard the rumours. Missing money, accounts not holding quite as much as people thought…”

“That’s an outrageous lie,” said Regina coldly. “Where’s your evidence, Miss West?”

Zelena smirked, as though she had been waiting for that very question. She held up the green folder, showing it to the room.

“I have the evidence right here,” she announced. “A brave employee of city hall managed to smuggle this out to me. Evidence that the Mayor has been embezzling town funds!”

There was a shocked intake of breath around the room. Lacey typed furiously.

“How dare you!” snapped Regina. “That’s a lie and you know it!”

“I believe this is my allotted time to speak!” Zelena snapped back. “I think the people of Storybrooke deserve to know exactly who you really are, don’t you? They should understand the choice before them!”

The doors at the end of the hall opened, and there was the sound of heavy boots on the floor. Zelena looked surprised, and then somewhat nervous, and a low-level muttering started up in the audience. Lacey glanced over her shoulder, watching as Sheriff Graham Humbert walked towards the stage with his deputy Dorothy Gale by his side. Regina appeared to be drumming her fingers on the lectern, and Lacey couldn’t work out whether it was anxiety or impatience.

“Miss West,” said Graham. “We’d like you to come with us, please.”

“Why?” demanded Zelena. “I’m a little busy winning this election, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“It’s a matter of obstruction of justice,” said Graham. “If you could come to the station, please.”

Zelena opened and closed her mouth, a sudden flicker of fear in her eyes.

“What if I say no?”

“I’d prefer not to have to handcuff you,” said Graham.

“But we will if we have to,” added Dorothy, folding her arms.

“This is a conspiracy!” blurted Zelena, waving a finger at Regina. “Did the Mayor put you up to this? This is exactly the kind of corruption I’m talking about! The Sheriff being used as the Mayor’s enforcer!”

“Miss West…”

“Mayor Mills will do whatever it takes to silence me!” she went on. “She’s scared I’ve exposed her for what she is!”

“Miss West, I didn’t want to have to arrest you, but…”

“One hint of competition and she calls in her - her goon squad to crush it!”

“Oh, for God’s sake, I know you’re my sister!” said Regina loudly.

Silence fell, and Lacey hurriedly typed a few sentences, describing the shocked atmosphere of the town hall. Zelena was staring at Regina, eyes wide and nostrils flaring.

“I wasn’t going to mention it,” said Regina, curling her lip. “I wanted to give you a chance to be a decent person and deal with this in an honourable way. But since you’re determined to try to ruin my life for no good reason, then yes. I’m well aware we share the same mother, and frankly she’d be disappointed at this pathetic bid for attention.”

“How dare you—”

“I believe it’s my turn to speak,” interrupted Regina. “We’ve listened to enough of your rambling this evening. Since you’d been dropping hints about corruption in my office, I had Sheriff Humbert investigate. He told me earlier this evening that someone had been planting evidence to try to frame me. No doubt that’s what he wants to speak to you about.”

“This is—”

“The residents of Storybrooke know how seriously I take my duties as Mayor,” Regina went on, addressing the room as a whole now. “They know that I value their support and their trust. Of course I’d want any threat to that to be investigated. I’m just - I’m beyond disappointed that the threat comes from my half-sister.”

Her voice echoed around the silent room. Lacey was watching the townsfolk avidly, their eyes fixed on Regina as she spoke.

“I had no idea that my mother had had a daughter before me, no idea that I had another family member out there in the world,” she went on. “Her coming to Storybrooke should have been a time of joy and reunion. But instead of her reaching out to me, she tries to undermine me, to take away the most important job I have in this town.”

She looked down, shaking her head, and Gold leaned in close.

“I wonder how much of this is for the benefit of the voters and how much is genuine,” he murmured.

“Maybe fifty-fifty,” Lacey whispered back, and he nodded in agreement.

Regina raised her head, taking a deep breath, as though steeling herself for something unpleasant. Graham and Dorothy had edged towards the stage, Dorothy removing the cuffs from her belt.

“All I can do now,” said Regina, “is trust that justice will take its course.”

“You know nothing about justice!” shouted Zelena, as the Sheriff started reading her her rights. “You’ll pay for this! All of you!”

She was still yelling when Dorothy handcuffed her and marched her from the room. The sound of the doors closing was very loud in the silence that remained.

“Well,” said Regina, placing her hands on the lectern and looking around the room. “I think we can all agree that this was one of the more - eventful - political debates this town has seen.”

There was a ripple of nervous laughter, and she smiled.

“I truly hope that Miss West gets the help she so desperately needs,” she went on. “And when she has, I want her to know that she’s welcome to visit with Mallory and I. After all, we may not be able to choose our family, but that makes it all the more important to nurture the bonds we share with those around us.”

There were noises of agreement from the audience, and Gold leaned in close again.

“Ever the politician,” he murmured, and Lacey nodded.

“Storybrooke is like an extended family to me,” went on Regina, “and all families have their moments of conflict and frustration, but underneath that there is respect for one another, and a common set of values. I believe I have lived by those values for every year that I’ve served as your Mayor. I will always reach out to those in need and I will always act in the best interests of this town. Under my leadership, Storybrooke will continue to prosper. I guarantee it.”

There was applause, and a couple of cheers, and Regina nodded, looking extremely self-satisfied. She started taking questions, and Gold kissed Lacey’s cheek and whispered that he would see her in the diner when she was done. She watched him leave with his family, Emma balancing the baby on her hip and Neal pushing the stroller after them. Lacey turned back to listen to Regina field a question about the state of the town’s roads, bent her head to her laptop, and began typing up her article on the Mayoral debate.

She emailed the article over to Sidney before leaving for the diner, and walked back there with Ruby, who was chattering about the drama that had unfolded. Regina had been in her element when answering the remaining questions, and Lacey had felt a surge of satisfaction over her part in exposing a crime. Perhaps small town life offered the chance for rewarding work after all. She could see Gold and his family through the window, and his face lit up as she entered, making her stomach flip. Damn the man. I’m falling in love with him.

“Excellent job this evening,” he said, getting up to pull her chair out and kissing her cheek. “I got you a rum and coke, I hope that’s okay.”

“Perfect,” she said fervently, and took a slurp, relishing the taste on her tongue.

“How’d the Mayor look at the end of all that?” asked Emma, and Lacey pulled a face.

“The whole place gave her a round of applause, and she was looking about as satisfied as she could, I guess,” she said. “I still feel kind of sorry for her. Not every day you find out you have a half sister. Especially one that’s out to get you.”

“Well, it could have been a lot worse,” said Gold. “I very much doubt Miss West will present much of a challenge from a jail cell.”

Lacey nodded, taking another sip of her drink.

“Does this mean you and Regina are friends now?” she asked, and Gold smirked.

“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far,” he said. “What’s that term the kids use these days?”

“Frenemies?”

“That’s the one.”

“Kind of like we were,” she observed, and he laughed.

“Regina would fillet me with a letter opener if I even contemplated looking at her the way I look at you.”

“No, I don’t mean that,” she said. “I just meant - well, we kind of had that thing where we poked at each other to get a reaction, right?”

Gold looked as though he was trying very hard not to laugh, and she swatted his arm.

“Stop thinking about dirty stuff! You know what I mean!”

“I do,” he acknowledged. “And I, for one, am very glad that we - er - got the reaction we wanted.”

“You’re still thinking about dirty stuff, aren’t you?” said Emma shrewdly, and Gold shrugged.

“Maybe a little.”

-

They ate ribs, sticky with Granny’s special sauce, licking it from their fingers and washing it down with beer and wine and rum. By the time they got out into the cool night air, Lacey felt wonderfully tipsy, and regretted putting on her high heels earlier in the evening. At least there was no one else around to see if she fell on her arse, she supposed. Neal and Emma were walking ahead, pushing the stroller and talking quietly, and Lacey let out a sigh, slipping her arm through Gold’s for support, and resting her head on his shoulder.

“I ate too much,” she said, and Gold chuckled.

“We all ate too much.”

“You didn’t throw half of it over your lap, though.”

“No, I thought I’d leave that to you.”

“Stupid gravity,” muttered Lacey, and he laughed, squeezing her arm with his.

“Tired?” he asked.

“Yeah. Long day.”

“Maybe you should have an early night.”

She glanced up at him, and he was grinning at her, his eyes twinkling.

“How’s that gonna work?” she asked flatly. “Your family’s staying over. No way I’m letting you give me screaming orgasms while they’re in the room next door.”

“In that case I could sneak over to yours,” he suggested. “You could scream to your heart’s content.”

Lacey giggled, barging him affectionately with her shoulder.

“I think I love you, Mr Gold,” she said, and Gold stopped dead, turning to face her with a stunned look on his face.

“Really?”

Lacey turned to face him, taking his hand.

“Really,” she said. “I mean I’m kind of drunk, but that’s not why I’m saying it. I think I’ve sort of been in love with you for a while now. Is that okay?”

He was staring at her, wide-eyed, and a softness seemed to spill over his features, making his eyes gleam as he smiled.

“Well,” he said. “I think I love you, too, Miss French. Is that okay?”

“More than okay.”

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then raised his chin.

“D’you want to move in?” he asked.

“Can I bring Darcy?”

“Of course.”

“Then you got a deal.”

He was grinning, and she found herself grinning back, her heart swelling with love for him.

“Let’s wait until after Neal and Emma go before I move in, though,” she said. “I think you said something about screaming orgasms?”

Gold’s grin turned wicked, and he bent his head to kiss her.

“I’ll be over later.”

She let his lips pull at hers, leaning in to feel the warmth of his body as his arms went around her, and let out a sigh of contentment. Yes. Life in a small town could be amazing.

[applsauss]

Miracle | War-Tober #4

Description: The bayonet nears his chest; you have a Luger.

Fandom: Saving Private Ryan


Pairing: 
Stanley Mellish/Reader

Word Count: 
1k+

Warning(s):  None.

“Upham?” Mellish asks. 

You hold your breath, rifle trained on the doorway leading to the staircase. There is no answer. You adjust your hold on your rifle, then quietly climb up onto the dresser at the far side of the room for a different angle. 

Mellish’s breathing is loud and haggard in the room; so is yours. The sound of fighting on the street dies away as you strain your ears to pick up any little sound from the staircase -- a stray breath, the squeak of boots, the sound fabric makes when it brushes against a wall. 

Each beat of your heart hits you like an artillery shell. Fear coats your hands in sweat. The wait is agony. Neither you nor Mellish dare to make another sound. The silence grows louder, louder, and an itching, twisting, anxiety claws up your body, then shoots through your arms all the way to your trigger finger. You’ve had enough.

You fire a smear of shots into the wall, from head height to stomach. There is a thud, then blood spills out into the doorway, crimson and dark. A quick glance at Mellish tells you he still has his rifle up, pointed at the doorway, and you follow suit. God, there was no way that was Upham, right? He would have called out.

For all your alertness, you don’t hear the bullets that pierce you being fired. One moment you were staring at the wall you’d just shot through, the next you were tumbling from the dresser and onto the ground, mouth parted as a squeak of surprise rushes from your lips. 

The taste of copper floods your mouth. You cough and it’s wet. Facedown on the floor, you flail your arms and claw at the floorboards, trying to flip yourself onto your back, but the movement makes pain redact your thoughts, throbbing in time with your heartbeat and centered around your abdomen.

You hear a struggle; grunts, huffs, feet scuffling. Someone kicks you. You wheeze. Your lips are wet and you stare at the puddle of red growing beneath you. 

“Private! Private!”

Mellish is calling for Upham. 

“No!” he shouts, his voice hoarse, angry, terrified. 

With what’s left of your strength, you roll your head to the side and find Mellish laying on the ground a couple feet away, a Kraut on top of him, using his weight to try and sink a bayonet into Mellish’s chest. Fear blooms under your ribs, and burns through them like a lick of desperate fire.

Mellish is fighting for his life.

Mellish -- Stanley Mellish. Your Stanley Mellish -- is fighting for his life. 

There is a Luger in your webbing. 

BANG!

“Oh, thank God. Thank God” Stanley cries out, sitting up and checking the blood on his chest. Then he shoves the Kraut off him and scrambles over to you. “Just one more.” The pistol slips from your hand and clatters onto the floor as you’re flipped onto your back. He wastes no time tearing off your webbing and ripping your jacket open, buttons popping and flying across the room. “Just spare one more -- It’s not too much to ask for, God, please.” 

“Mel,” you breathe and he quits muttering for a second to look at your face. 

“What is it? What is it? Anything, I swear. Just don’t fucking leave me --” He glances down again, then tears open your shirt -- “You can’t fucking leave me.” He’s tearing out his medkit and frantically mopping up the blood with his sleeves before you can even respond. 

Mellish curses loudly, then tears open a sulfa packet with his teeth and begins pouring it over the bullet holes in your gut till there’s a mound of powder. Then he bunches up his bandages and bears down on you with his weight, putting pressure on the wound till you cry out and grip his arms. 

“Mel!” 

There is a sound at the door and you both turn, Mellish already grabbing your Luger and pointing it at the doorway with the intent to kill, when Upham stumbles in, pale as a ghost, mouth dropped open and tear tracks painted in dirt on his face.

“Oh, thank God.” Mellish drops the gun and continues treating your wounds. “Get a medic, Upham.” Mellish’s voice is roughed with panic as he barks the order. Upham doesn’t move. “Get a goddamn medic, Upham!” When Upham doesn’t respond, Mellish turns and bares his teeth at the corporal. “Move!” he shouts, aggressive. 

Upham drops the belts of .30 cal ammo on the floor and flees down the stairs. 

You cough and groan with the increasing pressure Mellish is putting on your wounds. The blood loss is making you heavy; forces a violent shiver through your body. “Mel,” you manage to say. “My leg.” 

“Fuck!” Mellish pulls away, then fumbles with your pant leg until he finds the bullet on your thigh. “Fuck!” He hauls your legs up over his lap then starts wrapping it as well, pressing down on the wound until you cry out.  

Your vision blurs. “Gimme a smoke, Mel,” you say weakly. 

This time, he doesn’t say anything, just pulls at his breast pocket until a pack of cigarettes fly out and then he’s setting one in your mouth and lighting it. You take a puff, and then let the cigarette hang loosely between your lips, blowing out the smoke. Whatever shallow relief it offers, you hold it to you greedily. 

“Just promise me you’re not gonna die,” Mellish says quietly. “Promise me.” 

Your vision darkens and your head lulls back against the ground. You’d hate to be made a liar. “I promise, Mel. Don’t got nothin’ to worry about.” You smile with the last of your strength, and Mellish squeezes his eyes shut.

“Okay. okay.” He dips his head down, buries his nose in the crook of your neck and lets out a hoarse sob. “Just don’t… Just don’t… Please.” He presses a smattering of soft kisses to the skin of your neck, across your face, and as you close your eyes, you hope for his sake this isn’t the end. 

“God,” he says as you fade. “Just one more miracle. Please.”

Masterlist | War-tober Prompts | My Schedule

[nalgenewhore]

There came a knock on her door and Elide struggled out of bed, where she had been attempting to sleep since she had called out of work. 

Shuffling at a pathetically slow pace, her fleece blanket wrapped around her shoulders, Elide moved through her apartment to the front door, not even bothering to look through the peephole like she usually did. She opened it to find her boyfriend standing there, his cheeks and the tip of his nose red from the cold Terrasen winter storm raging outside. He smiled, “Hey, you. Ae texted me you weren’t feeling well and didn’t make it to work.” 

Elide opened her mouth to say something, but a wave of nausea and dizziness washed over her and her knees buckled. Lorcan moved quickly and smoothly braced her, his hands keeping her upright, “Woah, woah, hey, careful there, love.” She offered him a shallow, exhausted grin. “Let’s get you to bed, huh?” 

Elide nodded, her eyes falling shut as she tried to breathe past the achy feeling and the dizziness. “Yeah,” she breathed, leaning against the front hall table stand as Lorcan stepped in and closed the door behind him, toeing off his high-top Chucks. 

“C’mon, I got you,” he said softly, letting her put all her weight on him as they walked back to her room. 

Elide put out her hand and braced it against the wall, her vision swimming, breathing out slowly, “Ok, just one second, one second.” A second later, she was being lifted up into his arms and he continued on like she was nothing but a feather. She sighed, leaning her head back on his shoulder, “Thank you for coming over, I missed you today.” 

“You’re welcome, E, I was worried,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “How are you feeling?” They had made it to her room and Lorcan gently set her down on the mattress, pressing his hand to her forehead. He frowned down at her, like the sheer will and power of his glare could intimidate her illness into departing from her. 

Elide groaned, “Everything hurts and I want to sleep but I’m too cold and I want to shower but if I stand up for too long, I’ll fall down and I hate this.” She pouted and then nestled further down into her blanket. 

Lorcan hummed, “I’ll be right back, E.” He didn’t give her further elaboration and disappeared into her closet. Elide didn’t have enough energy to protest and closed her eyes once more, trying to suppress her shivers. 

A minute later, Lorcan reappeared, now clad in a pair of sweats, his hair gathered up into a bun held together with one of her scrunchies. Elide’s eyes fluttered open slowly as he padded over to her side and slipped into bed beside her, gathering her in his arms. Sighing contentedly, she rested her forehead against his shoulder, his body warmth easing her shivers. Lorcan cradled her head in the crook of his arm and wrapped his other arm around her waist. “Go to sleep, E, I got you.” 

Elide smiled and tried to say something, but the last few nights of terrible and fitful sleep caught up to her and she was snoring softly before anything else could happen. 

She felt rested and satisfied when she woke again, still held snugly to Lorcan as he dozed. Elide smiled and wiggled against him, “Lor, wake up.” 

Lorcan started and jerked awake, “Wha, I’m up, I wasn’t sleeping.” Elide tilted her head back and laughed, the soreness she felt not as bad as it was before sleeping. He smiled and sat up, rubbing his eyes and standing. “C’mere, we’ll get you something to eat.” 

Elide whined, the mere thought of food turning her stomach. “I don’t wanna eat.” Lorcan scooped her up, blanket and all, not even giving her a chance to attempt walking on her own, not that she had any complaints. Elide let her head fall back on his shoulder as he carried her to the main area of her apartment. 

“I know, love, but your stomach will feel better if you have something in it and you’re getting dehydrated,” he said mildly, putting her down on the couch. “Wanna watch a movie?” 

“Yeah, play-” 

“The Jungle Book, I know, E,” Lorcan chuckled, walking over to her TV and crouching down to open the cabinet. He shook his head as he pulled out the old VHS, “I can’t believe you still have the same tape from when you were a kid.” 

“Hey! It’s nostalgic!” Elide was practically bouncing in her seat as Lorcan re-wound it and popped it in the VCR, still shaking his head. “If you make fun of me anymore you don’t get to watch with me.” Lorcan stood and rolled his eyes but stayed silent, dropping a kiss onto her forehead. “Wait, where are you going, stay with me,” she whined, turning to look over the back of the couch as he retreated to her bedroom. 

Once again, Lorcan gave her no explanation and Elide huffed as she settled back into the corner of the couch, crossing her arms and lowering her brows. Her movie began to play but not even that could lift her from the grouchiness she felt, all of her anger directed at her stupid, stupid boyfriend. Elide was muttering curses in Blackbeak when he appeared again, arms laden with pillows, her duvet, and the quilt her mother had made for her as a child. 

“What’s wrong,” he asked of her, dropping his bundle on the ground and kneeling by her. Elide pouted, her bottom lip sticking out and she rolled her eyes. 

“You’re too sweet and I hate you for it,” she muttered, frowning at him. Lorcan smiled and stood back up, brushing back her hair once more. 

“Sorry, El,” he quipped, bending to gather what he had gotten for her. He was quiet as he fussed over her, making a nest around her. As he tucked in the quilt, he asked, “Is that good?” 

Elide cuddled into the pillows and blankets, smiling blissfully, “I love you so much.” 

A goofy grin pulled at his lips and he blushed, “I love you too. Enjoy your movie, I’ll get you something to eat, ok?” 

Elide nodded, her eyes already sliding to the screen, “Yeah, yeah, sounds good.” She didn’t notice when he left for the kitchen, feeling like when she was a kid and would stay home from school when she was sick. 

Lorcan was busy heating soup for her when he heard a strained voice singing, “I mean the bare necessities, old Mother Nature's recipes, that brings the bare necessities of life…” He smiled to himself, turning away from the pot to watch her, her eyes alight. Fuck, I love her so much, he thought, just needing to take a moment for his heart to stop feeling so tight in his chest. 

He breathed out shakily, blinking hard while he turned to grab a bowl for her and carefully ladled the soup into it. He put the pot to the side and turned off the burner, grabbing a spoon and bumping the drawer shut with his hip. 

“El,” he said, walking around the couch and setting the bowl and spoon down, “you need to eat, babe.”

She wrinkled her nose and eyed the bowl warily. “Ugh. Fine.” Lorcan grinned triumphantly and sat down on the carpet, carefully holding the bowl and taking a spoonful of it. Elide huffed when he held it to her lips but let him feed her. “You’re ridiculous.” 

Lorcan shrugged and gave her spoonful after spoonful until she shook her head and pressed her lips together. “Mm-mm, no more.” 

Nodding his head, Lorcan stood and leaned down to kiss her. Elide pulled her head back, “You’re gonna get sick, L.” 

He grinned and cupped the back of her head, “Worth it.” Elide’s smile matched his as looped her hands around his neck and pressed her lips to hers. 

“You’re an idiot,” she whispered, resting her forehead against his. “Do you know how much I love you, Lorcan Salvaterre? Like, I love you so much.” 

He kissed her again, “I love you so fucking much, Lochan.” Lorcan pulled away, standing up to his full height, “Watch your movie, baby, I’ll be right back.” 

Lorcan went to the kitchen and put her bowl in the sink, quickly returning to her. Elide didn’t look away from the screen, subconsciously mouthing the words as she scooched forward to allow him to slide in behind her and pull her back into his chest, his legs on either side of her. 

Elide hummed and near purred when he started running his hands through her hair, gently pulling it back from her face. She didn’t even think he was paying attention when he began braiding it back for her, was sure it was little more than something for his hands to do as the movie played on. Wordlessly, she held up an elastic and he took it from her, tying off the end of one of the braids, starting on the next one and finishing it quicker than she could ever do it. Lorcan patted the plaits in place and rested his chin atop of her head, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. 

When her eyes started to droop, Elide turned onto her side and cuddled into his chest, her head resting over his heart. “Mmm, thank you,” she whispered, “for taking care of me.” 

Lorcan stretched out beneath her, his hands moving to her waist. Pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, he replied, “No problem at all, El.” 

i thought i might need a lil fluff before unleashing [redacted] 

@myfeyrelady @kandasboi @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @westofmoon @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @city-of-fae @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tangledraysofsunshine @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere 

[we-are-inevitable]

top 5 favorite sentences you have written

OHHHH SHIT !!!! ok so these are. a lot more than sentences, so i’m just gonna do little bits of my faves- with links to the fics !!

“Jack Kelly. An enigma of a man; a secretive boy who wears his heart on his sleeve, an open book with missing pages, redacted paragraphs, words and phrases marked over with thick, black ink.“ -i’m a little unsteady

.

“Many have already found their soulmate, have settled down and hidden their rowdy, rambunctious pasts behind skeletons in a closet. They’d all gotten their adventures done and over with in high school and college, and most are moving onto bigger and better things in life. They have careers. Families. Some have children, others have pets, a few have an insane amount of plants to care for. All have seemingly left Jack behind in the dust. No one told him when to flip the switch. No one told him when he had aged out of adventure.” -modern art

.

““Which is it, Jack?!” David raises his voice. He’s not screaming, but Jack has never heard him like this. “You say you’re fucked up, you say you can't function, and then you say nothing is wrong with you-- What am I supposed to do?! You say you’re sorry, but you don’t let me try to help you, and you say that the meetings weren’t helping but you don’t want to try something else, and- I just- I don’t know what to do here! I love you, Jack, and I want to help you, but you're so- you're contradicting yourself again! I need a straight answer, Jack. What are you doing right now?!" A deep breath. Heart pounding in his ears. Shaking hands and tears clouding his vision. “I’m leaving.”” -love me sober

.

“David hesitates. Jack watches, holding his breath. The silence between them is so heavy that Jack feels like he’s being crushed. Suffocated. “David...” David takes a deep breath. Closes his eyes. “He’s a pretty good roommate, too. Even if he cares more about a $40 bottle of tequila than he cares about me.”” -until forever

.

“ And the elevator comes to a stop. A bell rings. The doors open. David all but runs out of the enclosed space, but before he can get far, his steps come to a sudden halt. He turns just slightly, just enough to see Jack staring at him, and says in a rushed voice, “It was good to see you.” And then David hurries away. Because David, after all of these years, is still just a coward.” -when we were younger

[spaceskam]

our fainted thrill carries on (4/13)

another part of my season 2 fix it! warnings: referenced child abuse

ao3

“What does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?”

Alex and Kyle both gave their attention to the girl who strolled in with unmatched confidence, catching the sight of every woman in Planet 7 with ease. But how could you blame them? Jenna Cameron was a force to be reckoned with and it was impossible to hide. She sat between them.

“Looks like you don’t have to do anything,” Alex said as she sat beside them, handing her his drink with ease. She nodded his way in thanks. “What are you doing back here?”

Cameron let out a long sigh and looked at him like he already knew. Which, he guessed he did, because what bullshit didn’t lead right back to his fucking asshole of a father?

After a shitty night, Alex had woken up early to Michael still in his bed and sound asleep. He felt more hungover than tired which he knew was a result of him panicking the night before, but he’d pushed through and got ready for the day. He covered Michael up, left him a pot of coffee, and headed to the hospital. It took two long hours to get Jesse to wake up and, when he finally did, he was too incoherent to even question. It ended up being a total waste of time and it meant Alex had to get up the next morning on his only other day off and go through that shit again. 

“I drove all the way up to where Chief told me my sister was and guess what? Not there,” she said. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Figures.”

“I’m sorry,” Kyle told her. She shrugged. 

“I’m still looking for her though. Came down to talk to him, maybe get my job back. If he’s going to lie, might as well fuck him over with you two in the meantime,” she said, shooting them a wink as she tilted back Alex’s drink. He shook his head.

“And how’d you know we were gonna be here, exactly?” Alex asked. Cameron raised an eyebrow and gave a little smirk. 

“Well, Cap, your little sidekick,” she paused, taking a moment to kick Kyle’s leg beneath the table hard enough for him to jump, “Doesn’t know how to shut off his location.”

“What?” Alex demanded, glaring his way, “Have you lost your damn mind? Give me your phone.”

“Ow, why am I getting tortured?” Kyle asked, but he forked over his phone. Alex unlocked it far too easy which just earned him another disapproving headshake. He got to work at making sure it wasn’t trackable.

“But catch me up. What’ve I missed in the two weeks of the Max and Liz show?” Cameron asked, taking a longer swig.

Alex zoned in and out as Kyle filled her in. Max’s death, their plans to try and revive him, the strange resurrection of Rosa, and the wall they’d hit with much discovery from Project Shepard. They had files upon files, but that’s where it stopped. Their funding and their crew were damn near untraceable, all of them having aliases and scattered across the state in redacted locations. It was making it impossible to stop anything and that meant they had to wait until Jesse was coherent. 

“Well, fuck,” Cameron sighed as Alex slid Kyle’s phone back to him.

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, “You still want in?”

“I only want to help kick his ass more,” Cameron said, flagging one of the bartenders down. She ordered another round of drinks for them. He shook his head at how shamelessly she flirted with her. Alex envied her confidence sometimes even though he knew he had his own. Hers was just… palpable.

“That is something I can get behind,” Kyle said, tapping their beers together in solidarity before downing the rest of their bottles. Alex’s phone buzzed in his pocket before he could feel left out and their cheers to his father’s demise.

Michael: you good? You’re not home

Alex: went out for drinks with kyle

Michael: got it

Alex: take a shower before you get in my bed 

Michael: washing your sheets before i do

Alex: thanks

Michael: i can’t find finger guns emoji

Alex: i hate you

Michael: never

“Oh, that’s Alex thinking he’s subtle,” Kyle said, breaking Alex’s attention away from his phone. Their new set of beers had already arrived. “He’s texting a boy.”

“Shut the fuck up, no, I’m not,” Alex laughed, putting his phone away, “Well, it is a guy, but not that kind of guy. He’s just a friend.”

“I too stare at my friend’s texts like they’re the secrets to the universe,” Cameron said casually, that smirk never leaving her face as she took a sip of her drink. Alex just shook his head. “No worries. Your love life is not my priority.”

“Okay, well it is mine,” Kyle said, leaning forward, “Please be careful. I know you’re a little too willing to sacrifice yourself for Guerin, but this is bigger than him.”

“Oh, Guerin still? Fuck him,” Cameron butted in, “Literally and figuratively.”

“No,” Kyle jumped back in, “Not literally.” 

Alex shook his head and let out a little helpless laugh. It was funny that they thought either of those were options. While he wasn’t 100% sure of Michael’s feelings, he did know that neither of them had the time to work at a relationship. It was friendship and that was it.

“Relax,” Alex said, “He’s not going to distract me from what needs to be done. Besides, he wants this shit taken care of as much as we do. I promise.”

“Moving on from the topic of that side of the aliens, let’s move onto something worth talking about,” Cameron said and Alex wanted to thank her for it,  “Do we have a list of shit to ask Chief Manes about?”

They strategized for a few more hours until they came up with a solid plan for the next morning and how they were going to approach everything. That and it gave them a bit of time to sober up before driving. Alex took the time on the drive home to focus on unwinding, trying to make sure his mind would be clear enough to actually get a good night’s sleep for once. He wasn’t sure it actually worked, but he tried.

The inside of his cabin was dark already by the time he pulled up beside Michael’s truck, only the porch light being left on to illuminate the fact he was coming home to someone. A giddy feeling pulsed in his stomach, demolishing any lasting regret from the night before, and he walked inside. It looked the same, but it felt different. He locked the door behind him.

Alex went to his bedroom like always, but the door was already opened and a quick peek inside showed a shirtless Michael under the covers in bed already and scrolling through his phone. It was something so average, but it had Alex feeling like his mind was going to explode. In the years and years they’d been orbiting each other, never had he come home to someone waiting for him in his bed. Go figure that the only thing that got him that was fear and paranoia.

“Hey,” Michael said, dropping his phone once he saw him. Something stirred in Alex and he had to just walk in further and pretend he was fine. Because Kyle was right. This was bigger than him.

“Hey,” Alex said nonetheless, sitting on his side of the bed to take his shoes off. Michael didn’t come closer though part of Alex wished he had.

“How’d it go with your dad this morning?” he asked. Alex took a deep breath in and let out a heavy sigh. “That bad?”

“He wasn’t really coherent when we woke him up. He was too disoriented to actually get anything out of him, so we have to go back tomorrow and do that shit again,” Alex told him, pushing off the bed carefully.

“That sucks,” Michael said simply. Alex huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, it does.”

Alex grabbed a pair of boxers and t-shirt to change into before heading into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He tried not to think too much about anything as he got ready for bed quickly. He brushed his teeth and changed, deciding to take a shower in the morning. 

Michael was still staring his way when he came back out. Alex sat on the edge of the bed again and started to remove his prosthetic, ignoring the eyes on his back. They were friends who were dealing with some fucked up shit. That’s the only reason this wasn’t weird and it was the main reason it wouldn’t turn into anything else. Sleeping in the same bed helped everyone’s brains.

“How were you feeling today? Better?” Alex asked as he laid down. Michael shrugged, moving his hand beneath the pillow. It didn’t move fast enough and Alex saw that he still had the bandana tied around it. He decided not to comment. 

“I’m okay,” Michael answered, “How are you?” Alex gave him a small smile.

“I’m okay,” Alex repeated, taking a deep breath. He stared at him for a few more seconds before his eyes scanned the darkroom, making sure no one was there that shouldn’t be. Michael didn’t judge him for that either.

“Goodnight, Alex.”

Alex smiled in response, trying to relax into bed to get some form of rest before the morning came and reared its ugly fucking head.

-

Michael woke up the next morning to an empty bed and literally nothing to do.

Okay, perhaps not nothing, but he didn’t have to be at the lab for a few more hours. He was struggling to be there or anywhere near Max by himself still, the guilt was too high and he would start spiraling. He was doing good. Good as he could be.

He rolled over Alex’s side of the bed, the sheets gone cold which left him feeling a little more empty than it should’ve. Michael got to his feet nonetheless. He dragged himself to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee, drinking it despite the fact that it was lukewarm at best. Alex didn’t have a microwave for some reason so he settled for mediocre coffee.

There was something very relaxing about being so welcome in Alex’s home. The front door was locked, including the complicated ones, as if Alex had made a point to lock them all-knowing Michael was still inside. He was allowed to be there, wanted there, kept safe there. That was something he wasn’t quite sure how to process. It was easier not to process and simply exist, take up the space and enjoy it.

He started wandering, looking at all the old pictures and books that had been there since before Jim Valenti had died. There was a picture on the mantle of little Alex and Kyle holding up dead deer, both of them smiling despite leaning as far away from it as possible. When he walked down the hall, there was another picture of the two of them, couldn’t be any older than seven, decked out in camo and holding rifles that were too big for them and grinning. Alex looked adorable, all happy and unburdened and missing a couple of teeth. Michael couldn’t help but smile.

There was another picture though, that felt weird and out of place. It was across from the hall closet and it was wallet-sized, but a closer look at it made it clear that it was indeed a young Jesse Manes and Jim Valenti. Both were smiling, showing off the wedding bands on their fingers. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed they were a newlywed couple. Seeing Jesse Manes look so happy and free felt jarring, but here it was. They were grinning and proud and happy to be married to women they loved. Michael sipped his coffee as he tried to make sense of a world like that.

After he finished his coffee and got lost in an idealistic world where Alex’s father actually supported him, Michael decided that he should probably get dressed for the day. He bypassed the stack of his own clothing on the couch and instead went to Alex’s closet, far more eager to find something that was ill-fitting but distinctly Alex than his own clothing.

Alex’s closet (and entire cabin, honestly) was to a military-degree of organization. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it always made Michael laugh a little when he looked at it. Everything was hung in a precise order and all his shoes were on a pristine rack and his underwear was folded and color-coded. How cute was that?

At the top of the closet, there was a backpack, a duffle bag, and a box. Curiosity got the better of him and he reached for the box, secretly hoping for more pictures of young Alex. As he was pulling it down, his arm brushed the backpack and it was unexpectedly hard. He furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at it, noticing the weird shape whatever was inside caused the bag to be. He knew that he shouldn’t look in it, it was Alex’s things, but… 

Before he could convince himself otherwise, he moved his attention to the bag and pulled it down. It wasn’t as heavy as he was anticipating, but it was still solid. He brought it over to the bed and debated on whether he should open it or not. It was Alex’s. However, if he hadn’t shown him, it probably wasn’t anything important. They’d agreed to share everything, right? And, if it was important, there was no way it’d just be at the top of his closet.

Surely, it was nothing. And yet, no matter how successful he was at convincing himself it was nothing, he couldn’t seem to convince himself not to look. Just… unzip and look.

So he did. Unzipped it and looked.

He wasn’t sure what he expected, but when he saw that shiny glass in a large piece that he’d ever seen, he forgot how to breathe. The bag dropped to the floor as he pulled it out, flipping it over in his hands as he tried to make sense of it. Alex had this and didn’t tell him? How long had he had it? How long had it been up there? Maybe he didn’t know. But that was bullshit because this was his bag. Why didn’t he tell him?

Michael stared at it for a few more seconds, marveling at the piece before he scrambled over to get his phone. He pulled up Alex’s contact and started typing out a message, started to ask him what the fuck this was doing in his closet. But he stopped himself. If Alex hadn’t told him, there had to be a reason. He just had to trust that it was a good one. And he trusted Alex.

Without too much more questioning, Michael erased the message and put the piece back in the bag and the bag back where he’d found it. His hands were shaky and his heart was thudding, but Alex must’ve had a reason. He had to. Because Alex said honesty.

He stole a pair of Alex’s jeans and grabbed a bottle of whiskey on his way out.

-

“Good morning, Dad.”

Alex managed a smile as he stood at the foot at his father’s hospital bed. Despite the fact that it was his day off, he wore his uniform and stood tall. It made things a bit easier. The uniform came with respect that even his father had to uphold.

Jesse Manes said nothing, gazing up in the direction of his son. Kyle stood in the doorway and played guardian angel, waiting to swoop in and save the day. Somewhere else, Jenna Cameron was sweet-talking Michelle Valenti in hopes that she’d have a reason to both stay and access to even more files. 

A cop, an Airman, and a doctor walk into a bar‒is there anything they can’t do?

“I think it’s time we have a little chat,” Alex said. Jesse’s eyes followed him as he went to stand by the side of his bed. Alex considered sitting at the foot of it, but decided it against it at the last minute. He could play that card a little later. “You see, I’ve been doing a lot of research.”

“You always have.”

“True,” Alex nodded, smiling, “But I do think I understand things a bit better now. That being said, it should be known that I’m no longer speaking to Michael Guerin. You were right about him.”

“I don’t want to hear about that.” Jesse eyed him, clutching the trigger of his morphine drip and yet never pushing it. Alex smiled and tilted his head back.

“I just thought you’d want to know. I may have gotten a little carried away, but his kind have shown their true colors.”

“Your manipulation isn’t going to work on me,” Jesse said, shifting just a little. His thumb grazed the trigger, but never quite pushed. Alex nodded.

“I know. Sadly, I wish it was manipulation. It took me far too many years to realize that my weakness was an embarrassment,” Alex sighed. That was honest enough that he didn’t even have to force a lie. Jesse clocked that which he seemed to find even more sketchy. Alex shook the statement off and rolled his shoulders back. “That being said, I’ve been trying to see what I can do to help the, well, the family business.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Yeah, I’m not having much luck which is why I came to you. I’m not trying to hide that, Dad,” Alex told him, “I’m on your side. As much as I can be, anyway.”

“And you really expect me to believe that?”

“You don’t have to, but it’s the truth. Honestly, I feel a little left out. I understand why I was left out, but the feeling still stands. You never even tried to recruit me and now that I want to help, I can’t,” Alex said. He stepped closer, sitting on the bed now. Jesse watched him in a whole new level of confusion. Alex felt successful. “I even tried to talk to Flint and he told me not to even bother. I re-enlisted after losing my leg, finally learned my place, and I’m still not good enough, Dad? Really?”

Alex stared at him and he stared back. It was a long stare and Alex truly didn’t mean for it to happen, but there was a moment where it started getting under his skin. No matter how hard he tried, he would always be less. He felt like a kid again, twelve and trying to figure out why his dad didn’t like him. He was no longer looking down at a weak man in a hospital bed, but looking up from the kitchen floor after being backhanded so hard he couldn’t stand, kneeling on rice with his nose to the wall after asking to have a male friend spend the night, crying into his pillows as quiet as he could so he wouldn’t hear, pleading to this man he looked up to why don’t you like me, and he had to look away.

“M.V.C.”

“Sir?” Alex said, risking it all to turn his attention back to his father. He looked hesitant to speak, but maybe he was dulled by the morphine or maybe he bought into Alex’s truth-infused lies.

“M.V.C.”

“What does that mean?” Alex asked. Jesse sighed, shaking his head.

“You expect me to be proud of you? You expect me to believe you’ve never been caught with your little hacking if you haven’t come across something so simple? Find your priorities, son,” he lectured. Alex blinked and nodded easily.

“Yes, sir.”

“I need to sleep.”

“Yes, sir.”

Alex got to his feet and made his way to the door, schooling his features as best he could as he walked past Kyle. He needed to go look through everything again, needed to find out what he was talking about, needed to not feel like he was fucking chosen to be wrong. 

“Alex,” Kyle said as he followed him closely, “Are you gonna be okay?”

Alex kept walking, his mind focused on everything he’d ever read before. M.C.V. 

“Yes, sir.”

-

“So, the theory is, if I insert this into the pod, it could start regenerating his cells at a faster pace and then he’ll actually be making progress and we’ll have something to work with.”

“Will that age him?”

“Uh… I have no idea, guess we’ll find out.”

Michael put the goggles over his eyes again and Isobel and Liz stepped back, giving him space. He’d made more progress in that one day than he’d made in weeks. Turns out getting fucked up and trying to forget what Alex might be hiding meant he could do a lot of shit he hadn’t done otherwise.

“Okay, well, I hope not. Not really looking forward to having an elderly boyfriend,” Liz said.

“Oh, c’mon, I bet it has some perks,” Isobel chimed in.

“Not without money,” Michael told her, flashing a grin their way, “I would know.”

They both made disgusted looking faces and he snorted a laugh. His smile faded as he flicked on the torch, melding the last little piece together so he could hook it to the car battery. Try as he might, focusing on happiness was difficult to do. How long had Alex had that piece?

“Thank you, Michael, for helping. Seriously, we couldn’t have done this without you,” Liz told him as he checked over his work. He shrugged.

“No big deal,” he said, “It’s about time I actually help out for once.”

“Damn right,” Isobel scoffed, “Do you know how hard it’s been with you sulking?”

Michael didn’t answer, focusing back on the battery. He hooked the wires to it that’d be going into the pod and then started the motor, giving it one last check to make sure it would actually work. And it did, things started moving and he smiled at his work. Would Alex be proud of him?

They cheered a bit, clearly proud of him, and he tried to soak that up. He promised he would go by Max’s pod and set everything up and one of them could go check on him in the morning before work to make sure it was still working right. It felt like a solid agreement and it was a step forward. 

Isobel kissed him goodbye and headed to go practice more on her powers. That left Michael alone with Liz. Which usually wasn’t a problem, but she had that look in her eye that told him she was about to project all of her negative feelings straight onto him.

“So,” Liz said as they started loading it into his truck so he could bring it there, “You and Maria.”

“What about me and Maria?” he asked. She gave him a knowing look which was genuinely batshit because she didn’t know anything. There was no way she knew anything. If she got her information from Maria, then it was probably false because apparently everyone thought he was gay.

“Well, she told me you guys talked the other day and it didn’t go too well,” Liz said. Michael rolled his eyes. “I know you like her and I know she really likes you. I’m not sure what’s going on with you and Alex, but I think you should be honest with everyone about those feelings, okay? If you keep them inside, my friends are going to get hurt.”

Michael let out a deep breath, turning to face her. Alex preached honesty, right? 

“What exactly do you think is going on?” he asked. She looked at him pitifully. “No, honestly, I’m confused. What do you and Maria think about me? Genuinely.”

Liz crossed her arms over her chest and gave him that distinct adult look that he honestly didn’t think she should be able to give considering the batshit science she’d been doing the last couple weeks. And, yes, it was groundbreaking, but it was also insane.

“Well, we think you’re leading both of them on because you’re confused. And I think it might have something to do about losing Max and what happened at that prison,” Liz said. He stared at her for a moment and started trying to think of who he could call to get weed on a short notice. “You need to talk to someone.”

“I am talking to someone. Alex.”

Liz pursed her lips. “So you’re just okay with him thinking he has a chance by being there all the time?”

“You know I don’t technically owe you an explanation about my love life, right?” 

“I know, but I’m just saying. I think you’re hurting more than you’re helping,” Liz told him. He swallowed hard.

“Tell Maria that if she’s confused about something that she can talk to me in a way that isn’t just accusing me of being a piece of shit,” he told her, “Because if there’s one thing on this entire fucking planet that I’m not confused about, it’s my really pointless love life.”

“So you don’t want either of them?”

“Yes, Liz,” he said, opening the driver’s side door, “Right now, I don’t want either of them.”

“Tell them that, Michael,” Liz told him, “Because the last thing I need is a shitty fucking love triangle making you all useless.”

He slammed the door closed. He didn’t know how to tell her he thought he already had. Clearly, he wasn’t making any sense anymore.

“I’m going to go rig this up to Max,” Michael said, “I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Alex wants us to have a get together soon,” she said, grabbing ahold of the door, “To talk about his dad. So I’ll see you there and I would like it if you made it clear that you aren’t interested in either of them before then.”

“You say that like Maria will even be there.”

“Alex will be.”

How exactly did he tell her that Alex would also be right beside him in bed in a few hours' time, too?

“Right. See you then.”

He drove a little recklessly towards the cave where Max was, waiting until he was on the road alone before he dug under the seat to find the bottle of whiskey he’d stashed there before he got to the lab. He kept an eye on the road as he downed the rest of it. He threw the empty bottle in the back, shaking his head as he tried to make it settle in his bloodstream faster. Of course, that didn’t work, but a man could dream.

Michael walked into the cave with his mindset to get in and out as fast as he could. Staring at Max made him feel like he was going to fucking lose it all over again. Did that make him a bad person? He couldn’t even look at his brother without wanting to get the fuck out of there?

“You know what, you’re a lucky bastard,” Michael scoffed, starting to put the battery rig up, “If I could check out for a few weeks or months, I’d do that shit in a heartbeat.”

He turned to Max with the silver end in hand, sighing slowly. This was okay. This was fine.

“You know Alex has a piece of the ship and he didn’t tell me about it. Why do you think he’d do that? Because I can’t think of a reason why.”

Slowly, he pushed the end into the pod and made sure it was secure before turning back to the battery. He double-checked that everything was on right before he turned it on. A quick look to Max showed that it wasn’t doing anything bad on sight, so it felt like a win.

“I thought, uh, I thought maybe he was hiding it from me on purpose. Maybe he knows more about it than I do and it’ll make me, like, power-hungry and he’s protecting me. But that’s bullshit, huh?”

He put his hand on the pod, feeling that normal low vibration hum a bit stronger. He nodded and refused to let himself feel too prideful. 

“He’s not gonna protect me like that,” Michael said, “Right?”

It wasn’t long before Michael was sure it would hold and he decided to get back home. Alex was probably already there and then he could feel him out, see if he could decipher why on earth he’d be keeping that from him when he promised honesty. Was it selective honesty? Still, he told Max goodnight and got back to his truck.

He drained the rest of his acetone stash before he got to the cabin.

Michael let himself into the cabin, the strange mix of confusion and comfort filling him to the brim as he did so. He wanted Alex more than anything and the agreement to make that happen was unbridled honesty. So why was he hiding that piece?

He stumbled over his feet a little bit as he reached the bedroom, bracing himself in the doorway. Alex sat up in surprise, the bedroom light already on. It was a cold night, apparently, and Alex was wearing a long-sleeved shirt that was a little baggy on him and looked so comfy it hurt. Despite the secret-keeping, Michael smiled at him.

“You look cozy.”

“You look fucked,” Alex said, shaking his head in disappointment. Michael shrugged his shoulders and moved further into the room, trying his best not to stumble as he kicked off his shoes and took off his shirt at the same time. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Hmm, a fifth of whiskey, a couple of bottles of acetone, it’s all good,” he promised. Alex pressed his lips in a thin line.

“Why? What happened?”

“Oh, nothing,” Michael said, unbuckling his jeans. Alex really did look comfy, but that didn’t mean he could say anything. If Alex was keeping a secret, there was a reason for it. Liar, liar, world on fire. Or something. “Oh! Your dad. How’d that go?”

“Good,” Alex said hesitantly. He held out his hand out to Michael, ushering him closer. Michael couldn’t help but smile at that invitation, crawling onto the bed and straight on top of him. Alex wrapped his arm around his neck, pulling him down and keeping in the safe space against his bicep. So this was heaven. “Why’d you get so drunk?”

“People are annoying,” Michael grumbled, breathing in the scent of him as he nuzzled his nose in the crook of his armpit. Alex squirmed a bit, but didn’t push him away. 

“That’s it?”

“Went to talk to Liz and Isobel about what I could do to help. Isobel’s already getting really good at telekinesis,” Michael told him, “Is it bad if I’m kind of annoyed about it? Like, I’m happy for her, but I just feel like… I don’t know, I feel like I need to show her up or something. It’s stupid.”

“No, not stupid. That was your thing for so long and now someone else is good at it too. It’s normal to feel like that,” Alex assured him, voice soft as he went along with the subject change, “Just don’t act like a dick about it.”

“I’m trying. She broke a vase today and my first reaction was ‘oh yeah, I bet I could throw your car across the desert,” he grumbled. Alex huffed a laugh.

“Please tell me you didn’t.”

“No, but now I want to.” Alex shook his head. Michael nudged his nose deeper into his armpit which caused Alex to jump and laugh a little bit. Michael smiled and tried to navigate his arms to wrap around him.  “And… speaking of things I want…”

Things fell silent for a moment as Michael tried to articulate himself. It was a bit hard when his mind was still stuck on what aren’t you telling me. But, there was more than that.

“I want to learn more about my mom,” Michael said, keeping his face buried in his armpit. Not like he could get up if he wanted to. Alex’s bicep was a force to be reckoned with. “I know we talked about it and stuff, but I am feeling a little better now and so… If you wanna keep digging, I’d appreciate it a lot.”

“I never stopped digging. I have a file of the information I found on her and I’m still going through some of the other stuff, but I want to try to find out what happened to her in that year between the crash and her being captured,” Alex explained softly, “Maybe we should talk about this when you’re sober.”

“Maybe, um… Maybe I can look her up or something? At the library,” Micahel said instead of stopping. Alex nodded slowly, his fingers combing through his hair. It was the best thing he’d ever felt. Honestly, he could handle all the lies in the world if he got this. Drinking was good.

But then Alex went still.

“Holy shit, I just realized I never told you her name.”

Michael fought against his hold enough to lift his head, eyes wide. “They documented her name?”

“Yes,” Alex breathed, his hand smacking against his forehead, “I’m so fucking sorry, I just got so caught up in all the other bullshit that I totally forgot.”

“Well, what is it?” Michael asked, smiling slightly as that eagerness bubbled up to the surface. Drinking was definitely good.

“Nora Truman,” Alex said.

“Nora Truman,” he repeated. Alex grinned helplessly at the way the words fit in his mouth and it made his heart feel so full. “That’s so… normal.”

“I know. I don’t know if it was a human alias or… But that’s what she went by at least,” Alex told him, “But that’s your mom.”

Michael swallowed hard and stared at him, his eyes drifting to his lips in all of that excitement. They were right there. In perfect reach. Gravity pulled him down a little bit, hovering over him and wondering if he could. If he should. Before he could make a decision, though, Alex’s nose nudged his cheek to move him and efficiently knocked the thought out of his mind. He dropped his head back against his bicep and got comfortable.

“Nora Truman.”

“Yeah,” Alex said, “Nora Truman.”

It was easy to forget the lie when he had this and that one little truth.

-

“Excuse me?”

“Alex’s brothers are in town!”

“Where are you at? What are you doing? What the fuck, it’s three in the morning.”

Kyle ducked further behind the bush he’d found himself in. He was driving home from work when he’d spotted a car that just looked too familiar and he couldn’t help himself but follow. He was glad he did too.

Now, he was in the bush outside Alex’s childhood home and trying not to feel like a total creep as he looked through the window.

“We need to talk,” Kyle whispered to Cam, watching as Flint took his shirt off. He really was a creep. “Where are you staying?”

“Uh, I’ll text you the address,” she said hesitantly, “Please tell me you’re not doing anything illegal.”

“Text me the address and I’ll see you soon,” Kyle said, hanging up quickly and continuing to watch. He had a theory and he just needed it to be proved. 

And sure enough, when Flint removed his pants, that same symbol was tattooed on his hip.

Kyle was outside Cam’s motel in 10 minutes flat.

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

I love all of your domestic headcanons!(It's so sweet and heartwarming) If the request is still open, can you please do a Muichirou and reader domestic headcanons? Remember to always take your time!

I always took my time before writing, however this one is different

Because , it is simply Modern DomesticAU *inhales*

It's literally my breath and my food. I can't ignore this and going straight to type, even though my shoulder and fingers said, "THE FUCK, HIBANA. YOU'VE BEEN WRITING LAB REPORT FOR HOURS."

Also, our mourning on the latest arc is nothing in Gotouge eyes, as she chuckled from distance, thought what a sweet children we are when we thought the Pillars will not (redacted) again

So I present you, our dreamy fluff and daily life

Muichirou Tokitou x Reader (Modern Domestic AU)

Both of you are college student and took the same major

He will never wake up from his deep slumber unless you're the one who wake him up by gently shaking his body. Not even air horn

After that, he still stood in front of the bathoom with his pajama, half dreaming.

"Muichirou? Come on, we're gonna late." He dragged his feet across the floor.

He brushed his teeth with eyes closed and will use your body as his head-rest while gurgling

"Coffee?" "No, milk."

He's the one who made lunch box in the morning and his cooking is so great compared to you

You wanted to stay in the hole while sobbing

But he will say, "...I like your cooking too." With warm smile

And your heart goes KATHUNK

Both of you went to college by train. He didn't want to be far away from you so he held your hands while cramming into the train and took your seat

He will sleep on your shoulder on your way to college. Both of you shared handsfree and listening to the same music until you arrive.

Or when both of you had to stand, he will drive you to corner until reached the wall or door and made you stayed behind him, still grabbing your hand

Even though you both in the same major, your schedule and his are different

So you actually had to depart goodbye to Muichirou while his face became sad as he walks away to his class

The face he made before you came after class: (.ω.)

The face he made after you came: Ye━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━s!!

Both of you ate lunch Muichirou made.

And he showed off how well he made Rillakuma Egg Roll to you. Now, you may pat his head, and he will smile so widely until his cheek hurts

But when his friend asked to share some of his lunch when all of you eat together, his face back to the usual "Empty-and-no-context"

"Huh? I made this for her, not you, get out."

He likes to snuggle with you, everywhere and everytime

Sometimes rest his head on your breats

Ugh, the best feeling

You like to smushed his cheek, pinched them gently and that's how you relieved your stress

You always listened to his talks and sometimes he chocked in the middle of telling you because he's too excited. Quick! Pat his back but don't laugh at him

Don't forget to hold his hand if you walk together because one time you don't do it, he was left behind.

Stood still on the same place where you stopped held his hand, while looking at sky, asking his life existence

Please quick grab his hand or he's having the next step of existential crisis

You don't know why, but when you did something on your laptop in the living room, he will scare tf outta you with suddenly jumping thorough the sofa and hug your neck.

"Whatchu do-" "GYAAAAAAAA" "...Sorry, so what are you doing?"

First date place will always be book store. After that, accessories store. Because somehow, he likes to try colorful hairbands on your hair

On the way, he will be the first who noticed that your shoelace loosened. He will intervene your walk, didn't hesitate to kneel and tied it up

It's great and lovely but the embarassment tho

Sometimes, both of you are chillin and watched movie on day off, while eating full bowl of ice cream

Instead of "stealing-boyfriend's-hoodie", it's Muichirou who stole your hoodie, because your body is a little bit bigger than him

"How come your hoodie will be this warm."

He never asked if he could kiss you. He will do the quick and unexpected kiss.

"So, today my teacher- *kissed your lips quickly* -told me that I had to write the report."

"???? What just happened."

He likes shopping for dinner with you. He's the one who usually push the stroll and even played with it

"Muichirou, what about crab to- MUICHIROUU!!"

"*run and hung his feet onto the stroll* Look I'm a pirate."

If you're not busy enough, you'll cook for dinner. But when you can't, you bought dinner from convenience store or restaurant. He didn't want to cook dinner because he has no energy left at night

When both of you bathe together, you tend to shampoo his long hair, sometimes applying hair creambath. He will put his back on your chest while you messaged his scalps. Overall, it's fun thing to do.

You dried his hair while watching news. And he will dry your hair in return

Cuddled him before sleep is a must. Stroke his hair, kiss his forehead, told him that he did a good job today. Again, that smile will be once more showed, before sleep

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

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morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

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gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

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morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

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morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

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gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

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morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

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gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

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morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

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gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

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morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

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morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

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morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

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gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

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mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

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gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

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[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

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morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

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gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

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morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

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morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

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morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

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morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

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morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

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merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

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gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

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morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

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morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer