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#I was told I couldn’t be a lesbian
sh-ttyseas · 14 days
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Not even in the mood to swap accounts but my mom is talking to my grandma & they where talking about Trump & Kamala & then they talked about someone who supports Kamala & my grandma was like “He used to be a big Trump supporter until his daughter came out of the closet. He should’ve shoved her back into the closet is what he should’ve don’t but he didn’t & instead supported her. You can’t fix anyone by supporting them.”
Yeah, I’m not coming out.
/ooc
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puthyflapps · 2 years
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Not them dying to bring Sarah back and absolutely hating their characters current plotlines 🫣🫢🤭
Carmen De La Pica Morales stans rise!
#marja Ryan Lewis and that writers room need to be cleared out#bring back Ilene chaiken and let her take a sledge hammer to this show because they’re ruining the shows legacy#was the original a little messy? Yeth but Ilene knew how to have a good time!! the show was funny and it was fun to watch and for the most#part the plot made sense AND MOST IMPORTANTLY we got to see women loving women on screen#I think MRL wanted a show where she got to write about all kinds of queer people but she couldn’t do it so she took TLW and basically piggy#backed off the name and legacy of the original show#obviously more queer stories should be told BUT TLW is supposed to be about lesbians and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to show 2#ladies kissing like why can’t we have a sexy fun time????#and not to sound like an old fart but showrunners and writers nowadays ig think that they have to inject politics into everything and I hate#when gen q tries to broach these topics because I’m not here to learn about theory bitch I’m here to see these gals get their puthies ate#the original definitely had moments that were a little political but it never tried to center that – they just wanted to show the lives of#lesbians the way that str8 shows depicted the lives of str8 people and I loved that#moral of the story: if they want a s4 they need to kick some people to the mf curb and get back to what made the original so fun and special#and obviously as I always say: BRING CARMEN BACK YOU COWARDS!!!!#the l word#the l word gen q#kate moennig#leisha hailey#sarah shahi#sharmen#shane x carmen#pants podcast
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lavender-femme · 9 months
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#I’m so fucking sick of feeling everything to my core#cried for reasons I didn’t think I was going to today…#i thought we would be adults and move on with our lives but nah#got told I have internalised homophobia because ‘snitched’ on two staff in fucking 2021 for having sex in a bathroom while CHILDREN were on#property literally in the same building DOWN THE HALL! and the windows were open!#as if I wasn’t admin staff and obligated to report that to the director#if kids hadn’t been there then I wouldn’t have said shit but they were!#all this coming from the person who told me my femme identity is reductive#so now I’m apparently homophobic and not good at being a lesbian but apparently I’m also heteronormative and cis#according to this person#dumb dumb idiot ass#the mango diaries#i know I ranted a ton in these tags but I actually fucking had my whole birthday week just fucked over because she can’t fucking let things#lie#i just dropped one of my favorite people in the whole world off at the airport as these messages were coming through#and then driving in the snow with one of my other favorite people when I just couldn’t keep it together anymkre and started crying#she makes me feel so fucking small and I hate it#i was already having a hard time mentally today and last night but FUCK#this just was too much#and to know I was betrayed by another friend I trusted who told her I was the one that reported her… fucking hell#I’m just… ugh it just fucking hurts and I want to curl up and cry some more
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myname-isnia · 1 year
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I found my literature notebook from two years ago and as I was flipping through it, I found a creative writing assignment that was basically “Come up with characters that could plausibly exist in this universe and write a short snippet about them”
And I got this feeling that I knew exactly what 14yo me did with that assignment
So I quickly scanned through the text and yep, I put Suiren and Midori into it. Because of course I did. This was May 2021. Red Lotus week. Peak obsession hours. I was cringe but I was free.
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coconut530 · 2 years
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*COUGHS*
WHAT
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slythernnn · 7 months
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The last 3 people I’ve gone on a date with have made it a point to tell me how they were wondering what I sounded like (in a non sexual way lol) before we met and that my voice is sexy 🥴🙈
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spinobsessed · 10 months
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I was pretty much ganged up upon by Catholics/other Christian’s in a discord server for being a lesbian and the whole experience just left such a sour taste in my mouth. I don’t want to stop going to mass but all of a sudden I just don’t feel the same longing love for Catholicism anymore. I know I shouldn’t let a bunch of strangers on discord of all places dictate my relationship with God and my own personal beliefs/opinion when it comes to things like this, but I can’t help but feel doubtful of the deity I used to feel so secure in.
I always thought that God was above such things as homophobia, that he is rational enough to think “hey, this is ultimately harmless. It may not be what I originally planned but it’s fine” and that homophobia was an interpretation during a mistranslation of the Bible around a century ago; but apparently it wasn’t a mistranslation? He could really feel that way? And it just doesn’t make sense. If something isn’t fundamentally bad then it’s not bad, it could be frowned upon or mocked or socially/morally unacceptable but IT just isnt BAD.
It was like this little “hey I know you in a way nobody else seems to, lol” kind of relationship I had with him, based on logic. How could he not be that? What is he then?
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foldingfittedsheets · 25 days
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I grew up lucky for a queer person. My area wasn’t actively hostile to me. My parents accepted the news that I had a crush on my best friend with no major upset.
There was homophobic comments made in my household in line with the era, but without hatred behind the words. I got called “lesbian” by bullies but honestly it just rolled off of hurtful and hit funny.
That’s why I was so ill prepared for my move to Arizona. I was moving to live with my at-the-time girlfriend, Taylor. She was native to the state and I’d met her while living there for one miserable year in high school. I’d had a crush on her for ten years before we started dating.
In the process of moving my parents were helping by driving a uhaul with my stuff while Taylor and I drove down in my car. It was a two day drive and we rolled into my new city one warm desert evening. We stopped to get some water and wait for my parents to catch up in the uhaul.
We got out of the car, stretching our achy limbs and heading toward a little fast food place in the strip mall. Across the parking lot a group of men started hooting and whistling at us. Words like “beautiful,” and “come here” drifting along the still evening air. We didn’t react and they grew louder until I casually flipped them off.
The tenor of their calls changed instantly. Now we heard “dykes” and “bitches” and “teach you a lesson”. For the first time, I felt afraid to be walking along in a lit parking lot. I looked at Taylor and to my horror she had started to turn in their direction.
I grabbed her arm and she shook me off. The men were moving away but I didn’t want to see a fight or worse break out if she caught up. But Taylor wasn’t heading to follow them. She was arrowing toward the truck they’d been lounging across.
“What are you doing?” I asked her anxiously.
For answer she reached for guys front tire and started letting the air out. A nervous giggle escaped me and I stood to keep lookout. She had the front two tires done before the trucks owner came storming across the parking lot.
“You should have just slashed them!” he snarled, “Woulda been faster.”
Taylor rose and coolly said, “That’s destruction of property, I was just checkin’ your tires, bro.”
Emotions flitted across his face from surprise to rage but after a moment he mastered his anger and said, “Okay. I get it. We were out of line before.”
He held out his hand as if to shake hers and I tensed. His eyes told a very different story than his mouth. Taylor casually flicked his air cap at him and it bounced off his chest. We turned and walked away without another word.
It was my first night in my new town. The scene would set the stage for later interactions. People who would ask me if I couldn’t empathize with parents who kicked their gay kids out for spreading sin. I’d go on to be followed and harassed on more than one occasion. That night showed me how privileged I’d been and how vulnerable I was at the time. But I at least had the satisfaction of thinking back to that man filling his tires back up with air.
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uselesscurency · 1 year
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Trying to figure out gender identity is fucking wack. Like sexuality? I like titties, bam I’m a lesbian.
Gender though? Feels like a goddamn game show. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. It’s like I’m trying to find a nickel in a room full of goddamn quarters
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yandere-writer-momo · 4 months
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I often daydream about a mean girl who is actually a yandere (closeted) lesbian. She’s a spoiled rich girl that has an unhealthy attachment towards you.
Yandere Imagines: What She Wants
Yandere Mean Rich Girl x Fem Reader
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Mean yandere who was your childhood bully growing up. She hated you the minute you arrived in her fifth grade class with your bright smile and cute clothes. She’d often pull your hair or throw rocks at you at recess. Anything to get you out of the good graces of others… yet she couldn’t help but be fascinated with the texture of your hair…
Mean yandere who apologizes months later because she can’t help the way her cheeks heat up whenever you’re around. To her, you’re like a new toy she really wants. She’s never felt this way before since she wanted you more than any toy she’s ever had.
Mean yandere who integrated you into her ‘friend’ group just to keep you closer to her at all time. You became her designated ‘best friend.’ The two of you now went everywhere together as you sat with her and her lackeys… she threw tantrums if you refused anything she asked of you so you always went with her will. She loved your submissiveness
Mean yandere who plays with your hair whenever there weren’t people around. She thought your hair was so pretty… and she didn’t want anyone else to touch it. Despite being ‘friends,’ she doesn’t allow you to hang out with other people. She cannot stand to share you.
Mean yandere who told everyone that you still slept with a stuffed animal like a baby in high school! She didn’t want anyone else to think it was as cute as she did… it seemed it wasn’t an odd enough rumor either since no one seemed to care as much as she did. You’re a bit frustrated that she shared that secret about you, but it’s not a secret you really cared too much about.
Mean yandere who gets a boy expelled for starting a rumor about sleeping with you. She will not let anyone tarnish your reputation except her! She would rather cut her toes off than let someone touch you… yet she wasn’t sure why that bothered her so much.
Mean yandere who ended up going to the same college as you. She was so delighted when you ended up as her roommate in her dorm. It would be easier to keep an eye on you then! She totally didn’t pay the dean off to make this arrangement happen.
Mean yandere who uses her daddy’s money to buy you new clothes. Clothes that cover most of your skin since she didn’t like the way the men and women stared at you on campus. You deserved only the best!
Mean yandere who is taken aback by how sweet you are. You obey all of her rules and you clean up after yourself. Were you some kind of house wife? Did you want to be?
Mean yandere who can’t help the wet dreams she has of you. She’s always so terrified whenever she dreams of kissing every inch of your soft skin as her fingers explore the inside of your wet heat. The possibility of liking other women never occurred to her… she always thought she just hasn’t met the right guy.
Mean yandere who found out you’re bisexual when she comes back to the for early to see you kissing another girl. She pushed that poor girl out of the dorm before she storms off to her own. Her hands clutch at her chest to try to calm her frantic heart. Why was she so jealous of that other girl? And why did she want to kiss you so badly?
Mean yandere who crawls into your bed when you’re not home so she can inhale the scent of your pillow. Your scent drove her wild and it felt like she was closer to you than ever… it finally hit her that she was in love with you. That’s why she was always so strange when it came to you…
Mean yandere who finally gathers the courage to hold your hand as the two of you watch a movie. Her heart hammers in her chest as you give her an odd look. Yes… this felt right! Being with you felt right!
Mean yandere who doesn’t handle your rejection well. She loves you! Why can’t you accept her? Was that other girl better than her? She highly doubted it because she was far prettier than she was! She had more money! Didn’t you know she could ruin that girl’s life.
Mean yandere who resorts to threats. She doesn’t want you to leave her! You cannot leave! Never ever ever ever ever. She would ruin your life and make your family live on the streets. She will chase you to the ends of this earth until you’re in her arms where you belong.
You can only watch as your childhood friend has a mental breakdown before you reluctantly accept her. You’ve seen her wrath once and you don’t want anyone else to suffer because of your selfishness. If would just be better to give her what she wants.
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lovelettersfromluna · 6 months
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Not Strong Enough
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Summary: Rule number 1 of being best friends with a vampire. Never let them drink your blood.
an: I HEAR YOU ALL YELLING AT ME IM SORRY!! This took entirely too long to get to you guys, but it’s here now! Better late than never right?? Is this heavily inspired by twilight? Yes. Did I use a BoyGenius song as the title? It’s lesbian smut, obviously. Is Ellie going to be a brooding depressed vampire? Oh hell yeah. I hope you all like this! I’m a slut for anything supernatural so this was obvi very fun for me to write. As always, love you all so so much! Thanks for reading 🤍
Warnings: SMUT!!, MDNI!!, scissoring (if ur mad I’m doing another scissoring fic….idk what to tell you it’s hot), messy kissing, Ellie bites reader (outside of blood sucking), mentions of marking, mentions of bruises, mentions of blood, Ellie is kind of insufferable for a small bit but I promise it gets better, please lmk if I missed anything!
Read part 1 here!!
Ellie knew it was a bad idea from the very beginning.
She knew that she was too weak for you, even outside of sucking your blood. You were too fucking good for her, too much of a dream for Ellie to go and fuck up like she did.
Truth be told, Ellie expected all of it. She expected to get utterly addicted to you, she expected the blurred lines of your relationship to become even more blurred when she began sucking you dry of your life source, she even expected herself to lose control when she was in the act, humping and grinding your soft body like a wild fucking animal as if she had no control over herself.
She expected all of it, every single aspect that came with the territory, she knew was coming.
But the hardest part of it all? Was leaving you completely.
Because she knew the moment she felt herself lose control while she was on top of you that night in your apartment, she knew she needed to leave you. She needed to abandon you and your friendship for the greater good, for your sake.
Ellie knew that she wasn’t good for you, and you weren’t good for her. But that didn’t make the pain of not seeing you any less.
She thought she’d be able to do it at first, but the texts from you only reminded her of how much she loved your company, how obsessed she was with simply being around you.
She wound frown every time her phone went off, a low groan leaving her lips when she lifted it up to look at her screen, only to see it was from you.
Ellieeeeee
Where are you?
Haven’t seen u in the longest :((
Ellie can practically hear your pout in the way you text her. She knows you too well, and she knows that you aren’t handling her sudden disappearance well.
At this point, it’s been about two months since Ellie has seen you last? Maybe three? She stopped keeping count because it was driving her insane. It wasn’t even the blood supply that she missed, Ellie would go hungry ten times over, dying from starvation if it meant she could be around you without feeling she was robbing you of your life, ruining things that you were meant to experience because she was too fucking selfish.
Ellie misses you, and it pains her that she hasn’t been able to have you in so long.
Well…not entirely at least. She knew she’d lose her mind entirely if she couldn’t at least be around you for a few moments, so her usual nighttime visits become a bit more frequent when she decides she can’t be around you anymore. She’s a lot more careful when she does it though, knowing how sensitive you were to her presence. It was almost unbelievable how easily you’d woken up to her in your room in the past. She doesn’t know how she’d explain things if you woke up now, not having seen her in so long. So she’s extra aware of how much noise she makes.
Seeing you sleep is almost enough to keep Ellie’s demons at bay, the ones that screamed for you, yearned for you to be by her side, to have your warm skin pressed against her much colder one.
As per usual, she’s scaling up the brick wall of your apartment building, making her way up to your bedroom like thief in the night. You continue to leave your window open every night, and it breaks Ellie’s heart because she knows you’re doing it for her, most likely hoping she slips into your window as she usually does.
It means Ellie needs to be even more careful than she anticipated.
She doesn’t even dare to sit on your bed, standing in the corner of your room as she watches your chest rise and fall. She doesn’t even breathe, scared that the sound of it will wake you.
And she desperately wants to reach out and let her fingers run along your soft skin, desperate for the feeling that you always brought her when you’re near. It makes her fists balk at her sides as she practically itches to feel you, fighting back any and every thought that she had to touch you, if even for a moment.
But she doesn’t. Instead, he stays with you just before the sun rises. She knows it’s risky, and she knows she shouldn’t do it in the event that you wake up and see her. Even if she’s fast enough to dart out of your room before you can even call her name or turn the lights on, you’re too smart for that. You’d know what was happening before she can even begin to gaslight you into thinking it was simply a dream.
She can’t help herself, not when it comes to you. Seeing you sleep satisfies the burning feeling in her chest, the one that yearns so desperately for you, it’s enough to make her knees weak. It’s almost like you’re capable of evoking the same feelings she had when she was a human, when she was weak and stupid and felt nervous around women. Until you showed up, Ellie hadn’t experienced those feelings in a long time, she’d almost forgotten about them.
You always remind her though.
Like when she’s about to leave you, knowing she’s cutting it too close to the time you’re going to wake up and start your day. Her footsteps are practically silence, even against the old, creaky floorboards of your apartment.
She’s almost out of your window, one leg outside as she plants her foot against the fire escape when she hears it. You began mumbling in your sleep, tossing a bit, clearly bothered by whatever dream you were having. While this should’ve been the clearest sign for Ellie to leave as quickly as possible before your eyes opened a bit to see her, she doesn’t. Instead, she stays sat on your window sill, simply watching as you turn to face her, eyes still closed as you pout in your sleep.
If Ellie had a heart that was still beating, she’s sure it would’ve stopped. Because suddenly your mumbling is just clear enough for her to hear.
“Ellie….” You sigh out softly, barely loud enough for the undead girl to hear, but she does. Regardless of the city waking up below her, or the sound of your ceiling fan creaking about, she hears it. It makes her frown deeply, swallowing back the intense whimper that threatens to escape and echo throughout your room.
She isn’t sure if she’s ever left your room so quickly, the girls eyes going wide as she made the familiar path down the side of your building to your side walk.
Even when she got home that night, the vampire practically breaking the front door down of her apartment to get in, she couldn’t get the sound of your voice uttering her name so sweetly, calling out for her even in the depths of sleep that you were in, tugged so deeply by your dreams, you were still calling out for her.
Ellie knew that night, that she had to stay away from her. For both your sake, and her own.
And she’s right, because you were suffering just as much as Ellie was.
Ellie’s presence was always scarce, and while it bothered you a bit before you learned what she was, it made sense. She was a creature of the night, something that seemingly only existed in storybooks, coming to life and living the strange lifestyle that she did.
But you knew immediately that this was different.
The morning after you saw Ellie last left a bitter taste in your mouth. As you woke up that morning, your neck sore with the bruises of Ellie’s lips on your skin, body far too drained and tired even after a night of a sleep that was just a bit too deep. It was similar to almost all the times Ellie had drank from you the night prior.
So, why did you feel so bad that morning?
You knew that you didn’t owe Ellie anything, that you were the one to suggest this in the first place, so there truly wasn’t any room for you to be upset for reasons unknown. What were you even supposed to say to her? That you had a weird feeling? One that you desperately wanted her to relieve by telling you it was all okay?
As much as you wanted to, you knew things between you and Ellie weren’t like that.
You were her friend. You were just her friend, and as much as you wanted more, you knew deep down that if Ellie truly wanted you that way, she would’ve made you she’s a long time ago.
And maybe that’s what bothers you the most when this little dry spell occurs, because the sudden lack of her presence leaves you entirely too much time to dwell on things, wondering what it was that you did wrong, what you could have possibly said to create this sudden rift between the two of you.
Ellie had always been flirtatious, flashing that pretty smile in your direction that made you weak in the knees, calling you sweet names that made your heart beat faster. She was practically dangling it all right in front of your face, the frequent touches, the late night visits at the foot of your bed, all this time when you have her the benefit of the doubt, chalking it all up to her simply wanting to see you and nothing more than that, suddenly made no sense to you.
With time came confusion, and with confusion came anger, desperate to understand why she left you, what you had done to possibly make her so scarce so suddenly. And once the third month had hit without seeing Ellie, you were furious, feeling as though you had one choice and one choice only.
To find Ellie, and get the answers from her yourself.
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You don’t go to Ellie’s apartment, not usually at least.
Ellie always told you she liked hanging out at your place, going on and on about how warm and cozy it was being there. She’d never admit it to you because she didn’t want you to think she was a freak, but being in a place that smelled so heavily like you made her brain go absolutely insane.
You’ve been there maybe a handful of times, sometimes heading to her place after a night out, or even stopping by whenever you were in the neighborhood. Bottom line was, your apartment was the designated hang out spot for you and Ellie.
Regardless though, you remember how to get there like it’s written on the back of your hand. You thought about Ellie’s apartment a lot, loving how much the space reflected her. You always wished you had the chance to stay there more often.
You can’t think about that though, not now. Not when you’re storming down the expensive halls of her complex down to her door, and landing a heavy fist on the door. All you can truly care about now, is seeing Ellie and demanding an explanation for her sudden disappearance.
And it’s all so unlike you, so out of your character. If it was anyone else, you’d let it go, giving yourself a few days to sulk before forgetting about it all together and simply moving on. Maybe it’s because it’s Ellie, and maybe it’s because you feel a tad bit used after being her personal buffet for the last few times you’d been around her, just for her to up and leave.
It’s most definitely that. You just don’t want to admit it in fears of sounding selfish.
You land another firm knock on her door when she doesn’t answer in time, feeling yourself grow angrier as the moments pass.
Soon, she’s finally opening the door. The image of her nearly takes your breath away.
Because Ellie always looks beautiful, perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t seen her in some time, but she looks fucking ethereal standing before you. So tall, so confident, her eyes so fucking dark, piercing through your very soul as she stares down at you. Her lips look like rubies compared to her cold, pale skin, so plump and kissable.
All you can think about is the way they felt pressed against your throat, and it makes you lift your hand to press against the two small circular scars on your neck.
Ellie frowns deeply as she eyes you, eyebrows furrowed and expression virtually unreadable.
“What are you doing here” she mumbles out, shifting on her feet awkwardly. Her question alone sets the fire off in your chest again, making you seethe as you take a deep inhale before responding.
“Are you kidding me Ellie?” You practically spit out, staring up at the girl in disbelief.
She lets out a soft sigh, her tattooed hand coming up to rub her face roughly before it moves up to rub through her hair.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she manages before she tries shutting her door in your face. “You can’t be here” she mumbles out softly, the girl fully expecting to be able to shut the door.
You however, have other plans.
You’re quick to press your hand against the door, stopping her from closing it before you practically force yourself between it. Ellie’s eyes widen a bit at this, not used to seeing you so forward.
Soon, you’re pushing yourself into her apartment, your palm pressing against your forehead as you began pacing back and forth Ellie’s lavish apartment.
“I don’t…I don’t understand you Ellie. Is it something I said? Did I do something? If so please enlighten me I beg you” you blurt out, all of the words fumbling out of your mouth in one breath.
Ellie frowns deeply as she watches you pace back and forth her apartment, her eyebrows furrowed. She can truly see the damaged shes caused when she sees you like this, because it was much easier to watch you when you slept, so peaceful and unaware of the troubles that came with her absence. She knew you were going to blame yourself, and as much as she knew she couldn’t allow you to do that to yourself, she knew staying away was even more important.
Seeing you like this was possibly the hardest thing Ellie had to ever endure.
You don’t stop there, taking advantage of the lack of a response from Ellie to continue ranting.
“Is it because of the blood thing? If so I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry for simply caring enough to make sure you didn’t die from starvation or whatever it is that happens to you when you don’t eat. I’m sorry for making sure that you were okay, if that was so wrong please tell me…” your words trail off as you let out an exasperated sigh, your feelings and emotions becoming far too much as you practically sob out to her.
But then you’re pausing, your chest rising and falling quickly as you struggle to catch your breath. Ellie isn’t entirely sure why you’ve suddenly stopped, your back towards her as you stand there, doing god knows what.
When you finally turn around, your eyes are red and your cheeks are wet with tears.
“Were you just….using me? As your personal fucking blood bag?” Your words are shaky as you hold back another sob, your fists balled down at your sides.
Ellie freezes when you say this, because this is exactly what she was fucking afraid of.
It was a common theme throughout…her people. Vampires were notoriously alluring, seducing countless innocent and clueless victims into being their personal meal. The humans were almost always oblivious to what was being done to them, vampires often times using this to their advantage to keep them under their spell for as long as possible. It would most commonly been done in a way that made the humans believe the vampires loved them, dangling them by a thread as they promised them a life of eternity together, to live in immortality, side by side until the end of times. It almost never ended that way though, the vampires would suck and suck and suck until one day they went a bit too far, and their obedient human keeled over and died.
Ellie never wanted things to be that way with you.
She never even wanted you to think it was that way. She wanted you to understand that this was entirely up to you, and it could stop whenever you wanted it to. It’s why she constantly voiced to you that this was still a factor right before she fed off of you. Ellie would rather die than use you for a source of food, because truthfully you were far too good for that, too fucking pure to be used as something as low as a food source.
So when the words leave your lips, Ellie sees red.
Shes in front of you in less than a second, towering over you and staring down into your tear soaked eyes. Her nostrils are flared as she tries to hold back from tearing down her entire apartment complex around the both of you.
“You can’t possibly be stupid enough to think I’d ever use you for something so low..” her voice is low, and there’s a gravel in it that makes your core tighten and your chest bloom with something you can’t quite place, a feeling that can only be shelved in your mind right next to where Ellie takes place.
You don’t hack one, hot tears continuing to spill from your eyes as you stare at her with furrowed eyebrows.
“It makes sense….get your fix and then leave me like I’m nothing…this was probably your plan all along” you grit out.
Ellie licks her lips, knowing that you’re hurting just as much as she is, and your words are simply coming from a place of confusion, desperate to understand why she did what she did to you, why she left without a trace.
She leans in, her face a mere inches from yours. You can smell her minty breath wafting onto your face, and it’s bizarre because even that has a slight chill to it. It makes your cheeks cold, and it makes you want to reach out and warm her up.
“I would rather die a million deaths before using you for that…you and I both know this” she seethes out.
And it makes you whimper, because Ellie’s always been so fucking intense, so poetic. It makes your insides flip upside down, and your eyebrows knit together as you struggle to hold back a whimper.
Your features soften as you continue to cry in front of her. “Then why did you leave me…” you whisper out to the girl.
It breaks her heart how desperate you are for this. Not even for her, but simply for answers. All you want is to understand why she left, what you did to make her abruptly disappear without a single word.
Ellie’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, her pink tongue darting out to lick her plush lips before she finally speaks.
“I’ve never…been so weak for someone…in my entire life” she breaths out.
It surely isn’t what you’re expecting her to say. You think she’s going to say she’s gotten enough of you, or she just couldn’t handle having someone like you around. Hell, you were even beginning to think she was trying to cover up all her roots here and start somewhere else.
“I always have been…from the moment I fucking laid eyes on you, I knew you weren’t good for me…you’re too good for me” she continues, her eyes fluttering open as she finally stares down into yours. You can finally look into yours as you blink away the tears that are pooling in your eyes and blurring your vision, and it allows you to see the pain in her eyes, just how much she’d been struggling with all of this.
“It isn’t even your blood…it made it worse, yes…but just being around you is like…it’s like a fucking drug to me. You give me this feeling that I can’t…I can’t even begin to describe how fucking euphoric you make me feel” each of her words sounds like a plea, a plea for you to let her go, to unhand her from the death grip you have on her.
“And suddenly I’m always in your apartment, and you’re offering yourself to me and it’s like a dream come true and I feel like a fucking monster when I’m on top of you, sucking you dry of your fucking blood” it’s her turn to start pacing, running her hands through her hair as she settles one of her hands on her hip, she moves slower than you were, simply voicing the struggles she’s seemed to have with you from the moment you met.
She finally turns towards you, and she’s slowing make her way to where you’ve been standing this entire time. When she’s right back where she was, stood right in front of you, she takes your hand into hers ever so gently. It’s enough to make you flinch, how cold she is in contrast to your hot skin. She sighs, bringing your hand up to cradle her cheek, and her eyes flutter shut, nearly rolling back as she presses a soft kiss to your palm.
“I’m not strong enough for you…I don’t think I ever will be” she finally admits, and it’s like she’s not only admitting it to you, but to herself as well.
You hold back a whine as she kisses your palm, her lips so soft, so gentle with you.
“Then…then don’t be…why can’t you just let things happen” you sigh out as you stare up at her, in awe as the girl leaned into your touch as if it were her life line.
You aren’t even entirely sure what you’re asking her for, what this so called ‘thing’ is that she won’t let happen. Is it the feeding you’re alluding to? An act of true platonic kindness? Or are you asking for more, are you begging for something that Ellie has deprived you both of for the sake of the greater good?
Both you and Ellie have these same questions running through your minds.
She chuckles dryly against your skin, shaking her head as her hand gives your wrists a gentle squeeze.
“You aren’t even sure what it is you’re asking for…not from someone like me” she admits, eyes opening as she finally looks down at you again.
“I can’t…give you the things you deserve. I’m not capable of being the perfect person for you, not when I am what I am” her words are like venom on her tongue, the girl utterly disgusted with the monster that she became against her own will, the hell that she was forced to live over and over again with no foreseeable end.
“The only thing I can do, is take from you…I take and take and take….” Her words trail off, a soft frown on her lips before she finally looks at you once again.
“Until I’ve taken everything that you have…and there is no more of you to offer” she whispers out, as if the mere thought of a world without you pains her so much to say, she barely wants to say it.
You lick your lips, your eyes searching hers before you quickly shake your head.
“Do you want me? The same way that I want you?” You question carefully, fearful of what it is that she might say, worried that you’d been reading things entirely wrong, even after Ellie basically confessed how utterly obsessed she is with you.
She smirks softly, humming lowly as she gently brings your hand down to her lips, pressing another gentle kiss to it.
“It’s like I’ve waited my entire life for you, baby….saying that I want you would be an understatement” she chuckles out softly.
And you aren’t entirely sure how it even gets to this point, because you marched over to Ellie’s apartment with a purpose, that purpose being to yell at her and get the answers you deserved. But suddenly you’re standing in front of her, and your heart is exploding with so many different emotions and feelings, all of them for Ellie, and she’s just confessed to you that she wants you like you want her.
And you have no choice, but to kiss her.
It catches Ellie off guard, a soft whine leaving her lips as accepts your lips with gratitude, her arms moving down to drape along your waist as she pulls you closer.
It’s everything she’s ever dreamt it would be. Your lips soft and sweet against her own, your skin so warm and inviting, making her drink you up, fueling her with the warmth she’s lacked since the day she died. But despite how good it feels, she knows this is wrong, and it goes against everything she said she’d do for your sake.
Ellie breaks way first, watching as you struggle to catch your breath from the intense kiss. She’s quick to stop you from leaning in again, her hand cupping your face as she stares into your eyes.
“Angel…we can’t…I told you, I’m no good for you” she sighs out, the words paining her to even say.
You give her a soft pout, your arms wrapping around her shoulders loosely as you press your warm body against hers.
“I trust you Ellie….I know that you’d never hurt me” you sigh out softly as you stare into her eyes, your hand coming up to tuck a strand of her soft hair behind her ear.
“We don’t have to do the blood thing…but I just…can’t we just give us a try?” Your eyes are wide as you speak, eager to feel Ellie’s lips against yours again, even if for a moment. You don’t even take into consideration that she could say no, that she could turn you around and throw you out of her apartment without another word, doubling down on what she said she’d do with you.
But as Ellie said before, she’s just too fucking weak for you.
And hearing you ask for it, ask for her, it has her stomach in knots, and she feels like no matter what it is you ask her, she couldn’t possibly say no to you.
“What are you doing to me…” she sighs softly before she leans in to kiss you again, reciprocating the passion and heat that you gave her mere moments ago. You whine against her, your hands sliding back to tug at her hair, keeping her close as your lips moves against hers, your warm tongue sliding against hers.
“Missed you so much…” you sigh against her, and it makes Ellie groan softly as she nods, hands sliding down to grip your waist as she walks you back towards her bedroom, lips never leaving yours.
“Missed you more than anything, angel” she mumbles against your lips as she presses her palm against her bedroom door behind you, pushing it open and leading you further inside.
Ellie’s bedroom smells like her. It’s dark, and cold but oh so comforting. You practically sigh against her lips when you feel her laying your body down against her black silk sheets, the expensive material like butter on your skin. It makes your senses go in overdrive, Ellie’s hands caressing your skin, roaming around your body as her tongue rubs against yours in a dirty, passionate kiss.
“Don’t know how long I’ve waited to have you like this…” she sighs softly, her lips breaking away from yours to kiss along your jaw, down to your throat. You don’t miss the way Ellie kisses the now faded marks of her teeth on your neck, licking the skin softly before she sucks into it, sure to leave dark marks in the morning.
“Missed marking you up baby….” She hums against you, drinking in the sweet moans that leave your mouth, the sound alone like music to her ears.
Your mind is fuzzy, almost blank besides the thoughts of Ellie that stood in the forefront of your brain. It was like she was filling you up entirely, making you almost overwhelmed with her. Her scent, her cold skin, her soft hands, all of it was almost too much, a combination of sensory overload that kissed your skin so deliciously.
Soon she’s kissing down your body, practically worshiping her as her lips work on your soft skin. Her hands are pushing up your t-shirt, kissing your stomach and your ribcage until she’s tugging you up a bit to skillfully slip your shirt over your head. You’re bare before her, her lips matching onto your pebbled nipples as her tattooed hands work on your soft shorts, tugging them down your legs.
You don’t miss the way her tongue swirls around your nipple before letting go with a pop, lips moving up to nip at your collar bone with her flat teeth. Hard enough to leave a mark, but gentle enough to not break skin.
You giggle softly, bending your legs back to help as she tugs your shorts and panties off. She’s slotting herself between your legs, humming softly as she gives you a smirk.
“Something funny baby?” She questions before leaning in to press another kiss to the corner of your lips. You nod, a dreamy smile on your lips as you bring your hand down to tug at the hem of Ellie’s t-shirt.
“Seems like old habits never die, that’s all….need this off” you huff out softly, fingers fumbling between the hem of her t shirt and the waistband of her sweats.
Ellie chuckles at how eager you are before she nods, pulling back to tug her shirt off before she rolls over a bit to pull off her sweats and underwear as well before she makes her way back between your legs, towering over you as she crawls into you like a predator would its prey.
And it leaves your pussy soaking wet, because it’s better than you could’ve ever imagined. Ellie’s tits are pebbled similarly to yours, tattoos littering her pretty skin, muscles so beautiful they could make your mouth fucking water.
You’d always seen Ellie for the beauty she possessed…but this? This was so much more different.
It made your head fucking spin.
You whined softly as you practically tug her into her by her shoulders, moaning softly at the feeling of her boobs squishing against yours as your mouth attacks her in a needy kiss.
“Want you…” you sigh softly against her as your hand slides down between the both of you, cupping her pussy. You feel Ellie suck in a sharp breath at the feeling of your warm fingers against her sopping wet core, and she gives you an eager nod before rolling over, her strong hands gripping your thighs and taking you with her as she forces you to straddle her.
Being on top of Ellie is just as good as being under her, almost better in all honesty. The lighting in her bedroom is dim, but you can just make out her features with the moonlight that spills in through her big windows, and the moody lights she has set up along her walls. You don’t even realize it because you’re too busy gawking at her, but she lifts her leg up a bit and easily slots you down so that your pussy is right against hers, the feeling making you moan softly.
“You’re so pretty Ellie…” you practically sigh out. It makes Ellie moan softly, and she swears the sound of you calling her pretty is enough to bring her back to life, reversing the effects of her undead state.
“Fuck…can’t say those things to me baby…you’re gonna…Jesus..ruin me” she struggles to get out as she grips your hips, forcing you to roll your hips so that your clit and her clit bumps against each other.
Your eyes flutter shut when you feel it. It’s so fucking wet, and soft, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Sure you’d done it with other girls before, but this just feels…it almost feels like….
“Like you were fucking made for me princess” Ellie grits out, her teeth caging her words in as she fucks you down onto her pussy, practically using you for both hers and your pleasure.
You’re too far gone to pick up on it, too indulged in the feeling of Ellie’s strong hands gripping your thighs so deliciously, sure to leave marks in their shape when you both wake up in the morning.
Your back is arching almost painfully, your hand gripping her thigh as you find the rhythm Ellie has set for you, finding the perfect spot and keeping it there as you drive both you and her to your orgasms.
“I’m…Ellie you feel so good…you’re gonna make me cum” you squeak out, eyebrows furrowed as you finally look down at the girl beneath you, only to find that she’s just as much of a mess as you are. Her hair is messy and her lips look so pouty and kissable. It’s hard to make out, but her fanged teeth are pressing into her lips, and you’re sure it’s the sexiest thing you’ve seen in your entire life.
She gives you an encouraging nod, one of her hands coming to your ass and kneading it harshly before giving it a firm spank, the sinful noise echoing off the walls of her pristine bedroom.
“I know baby…I know…come on, want you to cum with me…that’s it…that’s my good girl” her praises make your chest burn, and it leaves knots in your stomach. It only drives you further, your hips moving faster as they roll against Ellie’s, desperately chasing both hers and your orgasm.
“Ellie…Ellie I’m…I’m gonna-“ you cry out, back arching as you grip her thighs quickly, feeling your own shake as your orgasm begins washing over you.
Ellie catches it right before it happens, the girl quickly sitting up and wrapping her arms around your body, pressing your chest against hers as she pulls you down to kiss her passionately, her own orgasm washing over her like a fucking train.
Your bodies are so in tune, so in sync that your moans almost mix to create a symphony that can only be described as love, total and unconditional love as her arms keep you close, as if stopping you from running away from her, from the feeling she gives you. Her lips are working against yours as you breath hard, struggling to catch your breath in the sloppy kiss.
You’re a whining mess, your poor pussy far too sensitive to deal with the amount of pleasure that Ellie brought to you, all of it washing over you like an intense sea of euphoria, nearly drowning you as you held onto the girl with weak hands.
She knows you’re weak, because she’s pulling you down to rest your warm body against her cool sheets, all while keeping her cool body pressed against yours to bring you back down to earth with her.
“That’s it baby…I know….did so good for me…” she sighs softly as she leaves gentle kisses against your cheeks and eyes, watching as the aftermath of your orgasm slowly pulls you to the depths of sleep, all of it too much on your body.
“My beautiful girl…my girl…my girl…” she hums out, almost like a song as she watches you cling to her in your sleep, soft hums and huffs leaving your lips, all of which makes Ellie smile adoringly at you as she holds you while you sleep.
And even while you’re settling into one of the deepest sleeps you’ve ever experienced, you don’t miss the soft kisses against your lips and cheeks, all paired with the constant, non stop praises from Ellie.
You especially don’t miss the way she leans in settles against the pillow next to you, mumbling the softest, sweetest words to you as her hands caressing your naked body.
“I love you, pretty girl..”
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phddyke · 8 months
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Hazbin Hotel is actually healing my inner ex-Christian so hard.
No joke, I nearly started cheering when Lute called Charlie and Vaggie’s love “vile and blasphemous” (and then burst out laughing when Adam immediately followed it up with “Hot as fuck though”). I know that may sound weird considering that I am, in fact, a lesbian, but here me out:
Seeing Christians being explicitly homophobic onscreen? It validates me. It makes me think “Oh yeah, I’m not crazy, Christians are that hateful!” And, call me crazy, but I think homophobia being tied in with villainy is a good thing. Neither Adam or Lute are supposed to be good people; they are very obviously the villain, and that establishes their behavior as bad. Someone on Twitter said that Lute gave them religious fanatic vibes and I couldn’t agree more.
And here’s the thing, too: it’s explicit homophobia, not some dumb metaphor. There’s no way to take it as anything else. And I really need that. I need to see Christians being explicitly homophobic onscreen in the same way that other people need and create worlds where homophobia doesn’t exist.
But me? I want my pain and suffering acknowledged. I want the harm that Christianity does acknowledged. Homophobia is real and the religious kind doubly so. I related to Vaggie so much in that episode; I felt her trepidation about going back to Heaven. Felt like a good metaphor for escaping a fundamentalist church only to be forced to visit again.
And Viv is not afraid to explicitly point this out and criticize them. Like, yes! Say it! They are hypocrites! They don’t care about people being better, they only care about punishment! They maimed one of their own and left her to die because she spared a child! They’re homophobic freaks! They would never see the good that Angel does and how he’s improved and is wonderful, they only see that he’s a drug addict and a sex worker and think he’s worthless for that even though Jesus broke bread with sex workers and people considered the dregs of society. (And of course Angel is gay on top of that.)
And another thing: not only did the Adam line make me laugh, but the second homophobic Lute line about “he blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth” cracked me up too. It reminded me of the pilot where Katie Killjoy said “I don’t touch the gays” to Charlie, which is a line that made me laugh for 4+ years straight. When I told my brother that was the funniest homophobia I’d ever heard in media, he very wisely said, “All homophobia is funny if you think about it.” And you know what? He’s right. It is funny, because it’s so fundamentally goddamn stupid, so let’s give characters ridiculous lines so everyone can laugh at how idiotic they and their beliefs sound.
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When I was 12 I was going to be married and have two children - Kathryne Elizabeth and David Chase.
When I was 9 my mom told me that when she was pregnant with me and took a bath, I’d roll around in her stomach like a dolphin. The thought made me sick.
When I was 17 I was in love with a boy who was a good childhood friend, and I wanted to marry him so bad I chased him away (we haven’t spoken in 13 years).
When I was 15 I kissed a boy for the first time. We dated for six weeks. I kissed him twice more, and the first time he put his tongue in my mouth I gagged.
When I was 16 I told my best friend that I didn’t understand the big deal about sex. In fact, I thought it was kind of gross. She laughed and told me to grow up.
When I was 6 I licked a boy’s desk in school because I wanted to give him cooties. I thought it was something like chicken pox.
When I was 18 I kissed a girl for the first time and thought “oh”.
When I was 14 my friend stayed the night and wanted to know if I wanted to kiss her. I told her no, because she had a boyfriend. She said it didn’t count because we were girls.
When I was 20 my stepmom told me that she thought asexuals were broken or mentally ill in some way. I stormed off to my bedroom and cried, but I didn’t know what I was crying for.
When I was 18 I had sex with two girls. After it was over I lay by myself at the edge of the bed, cold and hollow inside, and didn’t understand what I was so upset about.
When I was 11 I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I grew up.
When I was 19 I had sex with a guy for the first time. I didn’t hate it, was my first thought. My second was that I needed a shower as fast as possible.
When I was 7 I was hugged by someone and screamed because I didn’t want them to touch me. I didn’t have the words for it back then.
When I was 20 I had a panic attack before my fiancé came over to visit, because I knew we’d be alone and I knew I couldn’t tell him no.
When I was 20 I told him no and it didn’t matter.
When I was 15 I got caught looking up porn on my dad’s laptop. I got in worse trouble because it was gay porn. “You’re just upset with boys right now, you’ll grow out of it.”
When I was 5 my dad would read parts of the Bible out loud every night. He paid special attention to the parts condemning homosexuality, like he knew somehow even then.
When I was 19 I heard the word asexual for the first time, and dismissed it out of hand.
When I was 25 I cradled it to my heart like a balm.
When I was 20 I decided I was never going to have children.
When I was 19 I thought I was pregnant, and decided to kill myself if I was.
When I was 26 I said the words ‘asexual lesbian’ for the first time to myself, and crawled under the covers to hide.
When I was 28 a friend sent me a comic about aromanticism. I saw all the parts of me that were on display there and decided I wasn’t strong enough to acknowledge it just yet.
When I was 27 I told my friend that the only time I wanted to be married was when I was sick and wanted to be taken care of. The rest of the time the thought terrified me.
When I was 15 I told myself that no one would ever love me.
When I was 29 I decided that I didn’t care.
When I was 13 I thought I knew exactly what my life would be like when I was 30.
When I was 30 I was relieved to have been so wrong.
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traveler-at-heart · 3 months
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Live, Love, Natalie Rushman
Summary: Based on a request by @lynattyx - Natasha and R meet when she's working undercover at Stark Industries.
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R
Live Love Legal
The sign was meant to be a graduation joke, but you still placed it on a shelf in your very serious, very corporate office.
Even now, as you were promoted to Senior Associate -the youngest at Stark Industries- and you had a bigger space, with a breathtaking view of Central Park and Midtown Manhattan.
It was your first day, and you were determined to make things right. Top of the list, onboarding Miss Potts’ new paralegal assistant. Your secretary (holy crap, you had a secretary!) had called to informed you she was waiting at the front desk.
“Natalie?” you called, imagining the woman with red hair and black slacks was the new assistant.
Though, you were not prepared for the sight that greeted you when she turned around, striking green eyes and a perfect smile in place.
“You must be Y/N”
The way her raspy voice caressed every syllable of your name almost made you weak in the knees.
But this was work, and you couldn’t lose your shit over the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen.
“Yes. Come with me, I’ll show you around”
Pleased with the firmness of your voice, you gave Natalie a tour of the office, pointing at different areas where most meetings took place. You also showed her where to find the information of everyone she might need to contact, and then you went up to Pepper’s office. The short elevator ride was littered with small talk, and you considered a success how your cheeks flushed only once.
“Come in” Pepper said and you opened the door, Natalie right behind you. “Y/N, happy first day as an associate. And you must be Natalie Rushman”
After a brief introduction, you were ready to leave both women to work.
“If you need anything, just let me know” you said to Natalie before going back to your office.
“Anything?” she said with a small smile. Perhaps it was all in your head, or the woman had really managed to make the question sound… loaded.
“Of course” you said, heat going to your cheeks.
Once the elevator doors were shut, you leaned against the wall, wondering if you’d imagined Natalie’s parfume still lingering in the air.
Maybe that sign at your office should read Live Love Lesbian instead.
It had been a week - a busy, insane week- but Natalie hadn’t needed your help with anything. While you wanted to feel relief, because you had enough on your plate, you were actually disappointed. Those green eyes and that beautiful voice would not leave your thoughts.
To your displeasure, you weren’t the only one.
“Tony” you said, feeling a headache as you entered your office first thing in the morning and saw him behind your desk, feet up.
“Y/N. How’s the new job going?”
“It would be better if you gave the government some information about those suits. But I will say I love my new parking space”
“Right! New is good” he agreed, not moving from your chair. “Like that new girl. Natalie Rushmore…”
“Rushman” the headache intensified.
“Right, whatever. Isn’t she good?”
“Ask Pepper”
“I mean I did, and she told me to stop before  I did anything that might get me sued for harrassment”
“Pepper’s right. You can’t go around sleeping with your employees”
“I was only flirting” he spun around and you had enough, finally kicking him so he’d stand up. “I was never inappropriate to you, right?”
“That’s because I’m gay, Tony”
“And do you think Natalie might be…?” you glared at the man and he was quick to explain. “I hear there’s a sixth sense involved in the whole experience”
“Leave before I throw you out the window, Stark”
“You’re no fun” he complained, winking as he shut the door to your office.
The next time you saw Natalie was as you prepared a meeting with new VC investors and the board.
“I need you to place the NDAs in the binder that we’re sending to legal…” Pepper said and Natalie stopped walking. The sudden halt made you turn your attention. It wasn’t hard to understand what that look meant. She had forgotten. Pepper insisted. “You did send the NDAs, right?”
The hardness of her tone made you flinch, and you spoke before thinking about what could happen.
“Actually… I asked Natalie to hold off on that. I wanted to double check the IP section but completely forgot about it. I’m sorry, Pepper”
“Ok, it’s fine” the woman said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Just make sure it’s ready before the presentation”
You nodded, and turned to walk down the hall to find the documents. Natalie followed right behind you, and you almost didn’t hear the quiet thank you she whispered your way.
“Don’t mention it”
Truly, you had forgotten all about it by the next day, until you found a latte waiting at your desk.
It was exactly how you took it, and you were very particular about your coffee.
“How…?” you wondered out loud.
“I notice things” Natalie said from the doorway. You flinched, amazed at how stealth she could be.
“And you’re silent. Like a ninja. Or a spy” you drank again, chuckling at the ridiculous comparison. “You didn’t have to, I didn’t do anything”
“This job is very important so it does mean something to me, Y/N”
The way she said your name had you blushing, so you nodded and thanked her.
“Have you noticed the bar around the subway station?” you asked as she turned to leave. “Great food, pool table. It’s fun, if you ever want to stop by”
“Oh, you don’t want to play pool against me” she warned and you chuckled.
And yet, the next week you were both there, eating and drinking past midnight. Natalie wasn’t kidding when she said her aim was impeccable and when you lost the third game in a row, you admitted defeat and offered to buy her coffee and a scone of her choice the day after that.
That’s how it became a bit of a habit, to buy coffee for two on certain mornings. If you knew Natalie had an early morning, you’d be the one to drop off a steaming cup of espresso with a danish scone.
Sometimes, you’d find a cup from the cafe around the corner, your name and a smile srcibbled across it.
You were working overtime to convince yourself that you did not have feelings for her. That the nights at the bar, the coffee or lunch time you spent together was nothing more than a friendship.
Until one night, when you were both working late. Your desk was a mess of scattered paperwork, all thanks to Tony’s idiotic actions. Pepper was the new CEO of Stark Industries while he made mess after mess.
“God, I hate him” you read a complaint filed by the police against Tony, who had gotten drunk and worn his suit during his birthday party.
There was also another thing that bothered you about that night. The memory of Natalie, all laughs and flirty eyes as Tony showed her how the suit worked.
You hadn’t realised how hard you were biting the pen until Natalie called your name.
“You have ink all over your lip” she said with a smile and you brought a hand to your mouth, the liquid leaving a bitter taste.
“Oh my God, is the ink toxic? Am I gonna die?” you panicked, looking around for a napkin. Natalie giggled, approaching with a hankerchief.
“It’s fine. Here” the redhead leaned forward, and you blushed as her soft hands cleaned your lower lip. Natalie held your chin between her thumb and index finger, satisfied with the result.
“Thanks” you said, unable to keep your eyes from going to her lips. The action wasn’t lost on Natalie, and before you could apologize, she leaned forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss.
“Now you have ink too” you said, laughing at the small stain on her lip. She smiled against your mouth, but the happinness was short lived as an explosion made you look outside. “Wow. What the hell was that?" you said, turning around.
It looked like drones were chasing after an Iron Man suit. Natalie grumbled and stood up.
"I have to go"
"Nat?" you followed her down the hallway.
The woman was gone, an apologetic look on her eyes as the elevator doors shut.
No calls, no messages, nothing. Not even an email.
You asked IT to keep her account active, just in case.
It had been a whole year; and maybe time to give up hope.
You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. Natalie had disappeared right after Vanko had tried to kill Tony. Maybe she’d gotten hurt and someone was covering it up?
Whatever it was, the few times you asked Tony about it, he seemed irritated and quickly changed the subject.
And yet, here you were, still looking for answers, resisting the urge to give up on someone who had, for all intents and purposes, ghosted you.
You sighed, turning to look out the window of your office.
Imagine your shock when you saw a fleet of alien ships flying around New York City.
Natasha’s eyes were trained on Stark Tower. Were you there? Had you been able to get somewhere safe?
“Romanoff” Rogers called and she looked around.
“Need a lift” she said, creating a plan. All she had to do was take a small detour to your office and then she’d kick Loki’s stupid ass.
However, as she threw the alien off his own ship, she looked around and realised there was no easy way to land.
“Oh, God!” you shouted as a ship crashed through your window. To your surprise, instead of a weird looking creature, it was being flown by…
“Natalie?” you practically screamed, sure that you were having a fever dream.
“Come on, there’s no time. Let’s take you somewhere safe…”
“The whole city is under attack, that’s kind of impossible right now” you yelled, following her closely. “And what the hell is going on with you? Where have you been? And why are you dressed like that?”
It was hard not to notice the tight unitard that adjusted perfectly to every curve in her body.
“Watch out!” the woman said, pushing you aside. She rounded the corner, preparing her guns and shooting against the aliens. Turning casually to you, she spoke in a calm demeanor, as if discussing what movie to watch. “Would you like the short or long story, detka?”
“I don’t think we have time for long stories, Natalie. Is your real name even Natalie?”
“Well, it’s Natasha Romanoff so… close enough?” she said with a weak smile and you glared.
An arrow flew by and Natasha cursed under her breath. You understood why a second later when an explosion shook the building.
“Clint! I’m at Stark Tower, do not engage!” Natasha held a hand to her ear, speaking through comms. She then turned to you and smiled, leading you by the hand to the emergency stairs. “Where were we?”
“Natasha Romanoff. I guess you’re not a paralegal either… oh my God!” you yelled as you spotted a giant green creature coming up the stairs.
“Hulk, Rogers needs back up” Natasha said, completely unfazed by the monster. “Come here” she asked, taking you to a hallway.
“Nat, a bunch of crazy shit is happening and you’re not losing your mind”
“Well, there’s your next answer. I’m a former assassin, born and raised in Russia. Now a SHIELD agent” once the coast was clear, she made you stand up and follow her to the conference room. “I was working undercover to get some info about Tony’s stupid ass. And then I met you. I was about to ask you out on a date because I like you, but the mission was over and I was instructed not to engage again”
“You like me?” you repeated, ignoring the explosions around the city.
“Out of all the things I just said, that’s the one you’re sticking with?”
“Well, duh. Because I like you too” you smiled, pulling her closer for a kiss.
“Now’s not the time” a metallic voice said. You turned to find Tony floating outside the window and you glared. “I was called for an extraction”
“What?”
“Come on, it’s not safe here. Tony will get you out and I’ll meet you once this is over, ok?”
“You better not disappear on me again, Natasha Romanoff”
“Wouldn’t dream of it” she promised.
Once Tony carried you to a safe part of the city, you waited for him to put you down and remove his helmet to slap the back of his head.
“Why?”
“I asked you about her a million times, Tony. You could have told me why she left so suddenly”
“Now you know. I’ll get you a nice restaurant reservation to make up for it. Gotta go!”
As he flew away, you couldn’t help but smile.
Natasha liked you back.
Dust settled and emergency services began to approach the city, aiding with evacuation. Your eyes searched Natasha’s as you walked around.
“Detka”
“Are you ok?” running up to her, you brought your hands to her face. She had a small cut in her forehead and seemed tired, but she was alive.
“Yeah. It was fun”
“Fun? I hope our date doesn’t include this type of fun.”
The woman laughed and pulled you close to her.
"Alien invasions are a six month anniversary kind of thing" she joked. You laughed, but kept your eyes on her cut, looking concerned. “I’m ok, really. Nothing a shower won’t fix”
“How about a kiss?” you offered and she smiled, leaning forward to meet your lips; it was short and sweet. A promise of more to come.
“Let’s go back to my place” you said and Natasha’s eyes widened. “For you to shower. Clean that cut, get some sleep. And then, we’ll talk about that date”
“You have yourself a deal”
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artinvain · 4 months
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toxic!bff! abby tries to get you back! pt 1. here plus combining this with another ask that asked for high sex. men and minors dni! lesbian smut under the cut! reader x ellie & reader x abby ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚:
abby had called you over twenty times in the past week. her messages riddled with apologies and begging for another chance to speak to you, she just wanted to explain herself and then she’d leave you alone her message had said. you’s spent the weekend at ellie’s but honestly she just listened while you mostly spoke and hugged you when you cried. put your favourite movies on when you told her what they were.
It’s as you’re starting the second scream film that abby starts to call you and text you. you’d put your phone on silent but still you could feel it buzzing incessantly against you and hear it buzzing on Ellie’s coffee table.
“just answer it,” ellie pleads, she’s not the biggest fan of anderson herself but she understood her — you were a hard thing to lose and ellie decided she would fight for you if you decided to give abby another chance. “I’m right here,” she says, rubbing circles on your ankles where they lay over her lap.
ellie is wooed, even through your teariness this week you’d managed to make her laugh more than anyone she’d seen, you still tried to anticipate her needs. you were honest and kind. she didn’t want you to go, but she didn’t want to cage you in either.
“hi abby,” your voice is stale and your eyes keep flicking back to ellie’s
“are you free to talk?” abby asks and you look over to ellie who nods, “yeah I guess,” you reply and ellie reaches out to hold your hand.
“i’m so so sorry-“
“you already said so abby,” you groan and lean you head back against the couch. “tammy, it — she doesn’t mean anything to me,” she sighs into the phone and your eyes prick with tears. “then why did you leave me for her — again?”
“because I’m an absolute dumbass with no courage and I was so afraid of fucking it up with you that I ended up sabotaging us because I know I’m a terrible -“
“you’re not a terrible person abby. you - i mean this is the most honest you’ve been with me in a while,”
ellie let’s go off your legs as you get up and move into the kitchen. you’re out of earshot and she can’t tell if that’s worse or better. of course she doesn’t want you to leave but what would she do? lock you inside? maybe she could convince you to stay. ellie’s leg begins to bounce as she hears you giggle over the phone. okay maybe she should fight harder — sooner. well she had taken care of you an entire weekend, couldn’t you see that she was better for you than abby?
“ i don’t know can you come over?” abby asks and you sigh, you’d already given in. “yeah, yeah I’ll be over in like ten minutes.”
you felt guilty, you shouldn’t be going to meet Abby after spending an entire weekend with ellie. but she was so supportive and she offered her company and she didn’t want anything from you. and although you obviously found her attractive it felt wrong, like you were betraying abby. all you can think about is that hollow, rageful look on her face when you talk about other girls, the tears that well up in her eyes.
but no, it was abby who had fucked up, ellie had reminded you of that all weekend. ellie who was meeting you by the door, your jacket in her hand and pursed lips.
“I’ll see you around yeah? maybe we can do this again some time,” ellie says you pull on your shoes. you nod your head and lean up to kiss her cheek but Ellie moves her head just then and your lips brush. neither of you move, both gingerly running your hands over hips and shoulders until you lean in and kiss her, press your mouth to hers and taste her lips if only for a few seconds.
ellie can’t fucking believe she’s dizzy for a few seconds of kissing you, she regrets her every movement going forward. opening the door for you and letting you go.
when you arrive at abby’s you tip your driver and knock on her door who’s swings open before you can do it twice.
“hey,” abby smiles softly and invites you in. “you made dinner.” you’re disbelieving and maybe even irrational when you say “do you have someone over right now?”
“no - god no. i’m -I’m sorry I’ve done so much to make you think I could do that,” abby scratches the back of her neck. the pasta is dished onto a plate and abby nervously pulls a chair out for you. gulping gratefully when you sit and she tucks you in.
“thank you,” she says when you start to eat, “so much-“
“why am i here abby?” you asked, sipping on the glass of red she’s poured you.
“I - I don’t know I wanted to really show you how sorry I am, show you that I’m still your best friend. I still know your favourite pasta dish, and I still know you’re wearing my hoody because it’s saturday, and we don’t see each other saturday because I have basketball, which I skipped out on tonight to make dinner and — are you laughing?”
you’re eyes are teary as you chuckle, “I just, I’ve missed you,” you smile and abby nods.
“I’m here now,” she reaches out for your hand and you take it. the night is spent eating and laughing and you don’t know how but you end up on the couch, coughing as you pass her the dab pen and boldly sitting closer to her. you know this strain. it always makes your head fuzzy and your body buzzes, aching for touch.
you don’t blame abby when she looks at you with hooded eyes, beckoning you forward and exhaling smoke into your mouth. abby lurches forward as she smoke less your nose and kisses you, her hand on the back of your neck when she licks into your mouth gently. you pull back and grab the pen from her and a bottle of water. leaning back with a smile at abby gawking at you.
It’s in the middle of an episode of something you’re not really watching, red eyes glazed over with the thoughts of abby’s hand on your thigh. she looks over at you, a small dopey smile on her face, bites her lip as she leans forward. “c’mere,” she brushes her lips against yours. “you’re so fucking pretty,” abby sighs, allowing her other hand to rub up and down your thigh, tracing higher to you as as you start to kiss her jaw and neck. “promise I’m gonna treat you right,” she moans at the feeling on you marking her neck, sucking and biting until her skin is throbbing and so is her clit.
abby’s always so fucking easy for you. whining when you kiss back up her jaw and catch her mouth, sucking on your tongue and pushing you down onto her large and plush couch, you feel like you’re sinking into it. you’re head light as abby caresses your tummy under your hoodie.
abby starts to lift your hoodie over your chest and sighs at the sight of your bare breasts, her breathing picks up and she bites her lip. leaning forward to suck and kiss your boobs, pulling the hoodie up over your head. your skin so fucking soft in her mouth. she moans at the feelings of your nipples in her mouth, her glossy eyes shutting and she whines when you dig your hand into her braid, keeping her head close. “yeah abby, like that,” you groan as her fingers come to rub your clit under your sweats. she whimpers at the feeling of your wetness.
“shit,” she gasps as two of her fingers slide into you, “like this cunt was made f’me, all mine,” she inhales through her teeth, leaning forward to kiss you, letting you pull off your pants and spread your thighs.
“god you’re — thank you, I promise you I’m gonna take care of you,” abby groans, her thumb running your clit “christ it’s like you’re begging for it, you’re fuckin dripping down my arm, fuck,” she moans, as you yelp,
“abs, shit you have to - you can’t - ah!” you’re cut off when abby’s fingers slide to the hilt and curl, rubbing on your gspot, her dumb never letting up on your clit as you go dumb. “gonna take such good care of you, see? I know what’s good for you.” She kisses your temple as your back arches and your chortle at the feeling of Abby tugging and sucking on your nipples.
“yeah, precious baby cum on me,” abby commands and your body obeys as your thighs constrict around her, “yes, yeah that it perfect, so good f’me. gonna give it to you good every day, fuck — just like this, won’t even have to think or ask, just gonna spoil you,” abby says peppering kisses all over your face, watch your eyes roll back. you can feel her thick fingers stretching you out, heat paradoxically making goosebumps rise on your skin, tightening your nipples — shit you could feel everything all at once. and the waves of euphoria just kept coming as abby’s fingers kept fucking into you. “more,, please god more!” somehow you needed it deeper, more more it was like a chasm had opened up in you, needing to be filled. abby’s fucking glad to give you another finger, twisting them in and out and you can’t help it.
“shit sweetheart you’re making a fucking mess,” abby’s pussy is fucking soaked and she can feel herself sticking to her boxers but tonight has to be about you, if she was going to keep you. and she needed you, she could never fucking lose you again. she’d sooner kill whoever was trying than let you go.
you’re leaking down abby’s wrist, spurting hot cum onto abby’s thighs as she rubs your clit and goes down to suckle on your clit until you’re wetting her face, her cheeks and chin. and you’re squirming and griping her head and shoulders pushing and pulling her away, whining as tears spring from your eyes and your body shudders with the pleasure.
“fuck, please please can I fuck you again, need to see you cum on my dick please,” abby whines as she kisses up your body, her hips grinding and snapping into yours. you whine and grip her ass pulling her in and nodding. she’s back faster than you can comprehend, still fisting her cock with lube even with the wetness that’s covering your thighs. abby kneels between your legs and rubs your thighs, “abby, make me feel good, please,” you whine and abby sinks into you, folding you in half as she leans after you.
abby groans as she fucks into you, the strap rubbing and bumping against her clit as she grinding and bucks her hips. “you’re my girl yeah?” Abby whines into your neck and you nod, her strap so deep inside you, her fingers going down to rub your clit. “yeah, yes I’m yours. m’yours abby!”
“fuck fuck that’s it sweetheart just cum on my cock. so good. shit, swear I can feel you, pulling me in so deep fuck,” abby groans, her hips snapping hard and deep until you’re both faltering and cumming, tightening and holding each other close.
abby sighs deeply as you start to chuckle, she removes herself gently and kicks the strap off, making a note to clean it as she grabs a blanket and covers you both. “I’m really fucking sorry,” abby says kissing your temple,
“just - don’t ever do that again abby,”
“never, m’yours.” she squeezes you close and kisses your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks until your giggling. kissing the palm of her hand that comes to rest on your cheek.
🏷️ : @lesbian-useless @sexysapphicshopowner @iamaboringrattat @sapphicsgirl @bimboprincezz
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foldingfittedsheets · 3 months
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Oh my god. Okay. My beloved just got reminded of this but like. Back in the day I apparently did not know what “vibe check” was and I thought it was like lesbian slang for like going to check your vibrators.
I have no memory of this place, I know what it means now, but I guess I just had this bizarre association with vibe check as a phrase. My beloved at the time checked in with me repeatedly to be sure I wasn’t fucking with them but I legit thought it was about sex toys rather than a mood.
They couldn’t believe I’d forgotten all about it but it is a nothingness in my mind. They assured me I looked it up when they told me it wasn’t about vibrators then I filed away the new definition and promptly forgot the entire thing, presumably in mortification.
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