#I was utterly useless

[softquietsteadylove]

Thenamesh propsal AU

Thena needs her caffeine but in this house there is none. As a result she has terrible migraine!

"How is she?"

A loud groan sounded through the whole house in response. Gil winced as he walked in with a bag in hand.

He had completely forgotten that his mom didn't keep any caffeine or alcohol in the house. She wasn't one for it, Makkari simply didn't need any caffeine to be as brimming with energy as she was, and Sersi didn't drink unless it was socially. Kingo wasn't opposed to a coffee here or a beer there, but he considered visiting home like 'being on a cleanse', or whatever.

Thena needed caffeine.

She drank no less than four coffees a day in a regular work week. He was always telling her he was worried about her caffeine intake, but there was no arguing with the stubborn Goddess of War on that one.

It hadn't taken long for the lack of caffeine to cause an irreparable headache which shook her to her core.

Gil walked into the living room, where his very sweet family was being very useless at curing Thena's migraine. His friend - and fiance - was curled up in a ball on the couch, face pinched from the tension within her head. He whispered, "Thena?"

"Gil?" she whimpered back, not even moving at the sound of his voice.

Sersi handed him a cool cloth, freshly soaked and wrung dry, "none of the pain meds Mum has will help this. It's pure caffeine withdrawal."

"Did we try?" Gil couldn't help but ask, not that it didn't irk both his Doctor mother and his bio-chemist sister. He sighed, "sorry, just...I hate to see her like this."

Gil bypassed them, going right over to the ball of Thena and turning her over so he could put the cool cloth on her forehead. "Hey."

"Hey," she whispered back, just barely getting her eyes open to look at him. She looked even paler than normal. "You're back."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, lips pressed to her temple, unable to do much more for her. "I had to go out looking."

"It's okay," Thena turned over slightly with a smile, "Sersi and Makkari have taken wonderful care of me. And your poor mother is trying to find anything that will even simulate caffeine for me."

"Thena!"

"Quiet!" Gil glared towards the door to the living room, where Kingo was striding in without a care in the world. His arms tightened around her, "she's not feeling well, man!"

"Sorry, sorry," he chuckled much too light heartedly for Gil's taste. He swirled his hand in the air, "I made chai!"

Gil glared at his cousin--basically his brother. Chai was a strong enough blend of tea, and it probably would have just a enough caffeine to alleviate some of Thena's symptoms. "You had this the whole time and let her-?!"

"Come on, Gil," Kingo pouted at him, Thena still wrapped protectively in his thick arms. "I forgot I had it, okay? And anyway, I had the seed pods whole--I had to do actual work to make them ready for brewing."

Gil sighed a little more roughly, all but ignoring his loud cousin next to him, "whatever."

"I thought it might help," Kingo leaned blithely into Gil's personal space to get a peek at Thena. "I also suggested yoga to help clear her head, but all she wanted to do was lie around and wait for you."

Gil was already pulling Thena closer so he could carry her to the kitchen, "y'know, dude, I'd appreciate if you didn't do shirtless yoga with my fiance when I'm not around?"

"Who said it was shirtless?"

"I've never seen you do it with a shirt on," Gil shot back without hesitation. Kingo just snickered at his obvious annoyance (dick). Gil stood with Thena in his embrace, "I have something better."

"Something to put me out of my misery?"

"Something like that," he chuckled, kissing Thena's temple again just because he could. She was really funny, even if she didn't think so. "You know this is why I'm always on you about how much coffee you drink."

"Yes, yes," she managed to roll her eyes at him, although even doing that much seemed to reawaken her pain. She grimaced, "how long have you been waiting to bring that up?"

"Until I also had something to help."

"Gil, I--oh."

Ajak made room for them at the kitchen island so Gil could set Thena down in one of the plush bar seats.

"It's okay, mom, I found some," he sighed as he made sure Thena was settled. "Had to go all the way to that organic store where you fill up your own jars."

Damned retiree town and its hipster stores.

Thena forced her eyes open again, "what did you find?"

"Coffee."

Thena perked up like a dog offered a steak after being in the desert.

"I got the lightest roast they had," he held Thena's eyes, waving the jar of fresh grounds in his hand. She watched it, utterly entranced. "Just enough to keep the pain away, okay? This shit was still expensive, even as the cheapest stuff I could find."

Thena let out a faint laugh, in better spirits just at the promise of some relief. "Are you going to ween me off of it with this?"

Gil looked at her again as he set out the coffee grounds and french press he had to buy just to make coffee here. He could just tell her that he told her so and that this was probably for the best, to get her less dependant on caffeine to even function. But he sighed, "gently. I won't let you suffer if I can do anything to help."

Some colour returned to her cheeks, which was honestly more of a relief than anything.

"I'll make you just one cup to start, okay," he continued to speak softly, shaking out just enough grounds and then reaching for the kettle.

"Thank you, Gil."

He looked up, compelled by the gentle, almost musical tone in her voice. Some colour rose in his cheeks as well as he looked back down at his brewing, "anything."

"Hey."

Gil looked up once the grounds were starting to brew. Thena nodded him over to her, and he moved automatically, like a man possessed. Her knees made room for him and he had to stop himself from putting his hand on the other side of them reflexively.

Thena leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips, just close enough to his cheek to be considered not actually 'kissing' him.

He blushed and his all his hair stood on end.

"You're a life saver," she said afterward, forcing a much lighter tone. She tucked some hair behind her ear and moved to watching the coffee brew. "Is it done yet?"

He had to laugh just a little. He gave above her knee - just at the hem of her skirt - a squeeze and moved away again, "will you just try having some patience?"

"You are not the one who has spent all morning with a jackhammer within your skull."

"If you took it even a little easy on the cold brew it probably wouldn't be so bad."

"I knew you were dying to tell me you told me so," Thena rolled her eyes.

Gil smiled; she didn't wince this time. He poured her cup, which really needed more time to brew than it had. Maybe he was just as impatient to cure her as she was. "Just put some shit in it to cover up the taste."

"Gladly," she sighed, although it was Gil who moved toward the fridge for said 'shit'.

They both completely forgot Ajak was still hovering at the edge of the kitchen.

[leo-kinnie]

continuation of this post !! Donnie never makes it through the movies Leo downloaded (they suck)

[ghcstking]

percy new yorker jackson can't drive for shit but will lay on the horn

[goldensunset]

[mothgirlpanties]

@barbarian-lesbian

To be the royal advisor to the princess as your barbarian army takes the castle...

To be forced to watch as my liegelady is paraded before your conquering army, wearing naught but her crown and jewelry, before coming to kneel before the woman who took her throne. Your legs spread wide, throbbing womanhood glistening with battle-sweat- my princess sways for a moment, overtaken by the scent...

She eventually returns to herself, and hesitantly plants a kiss at the base of your shaft. It is followed by another, then a tentative lick.

Her minstrations are... clumsy at best, and your amusement slowly fades into boredom.

My heart clenches in fear for my lady, and I find within me the resolve to step forward, hands deftly unbuttoning my coat.

Your warriors move to stop me, but hesitate as I toss aside my jacket and begin on my shirt. I stride past them and approach the dais, shucking what remained of my outerwear.

You reach for the battleaxe that rests against what is now your throne, but make no further moves as I kick off my shoes and ascend the steps. I am unashamed in my nudity, for I refuse any dignity that my liegelady is denied. I fall into a low bow, her crest dangling before my chest as I approach the throne.

"Apologies for the intrusion," I simper, "but I am sworn to aid the princess in all her endeavors."

I come to a stop and kneel beside my liegelady; to her right and a half-pace behind, exactly where I belong.

Your scent is intoxicating, even from here, but I have a duty to uphold. I take a moment to gaze into my princess' eyes, musk-drunk and lustful as they are. "I am with you, my lady," I whisper to her. I place a loving hand on the back of her head, and gently push her down onto your cock.

[angheling]

Here’s a little doodle dump of Tonis I put together because I love him

[quantumwitchgame]

The nintendo gamecube wasn't actually a cube.

But how many gamecubes would we need to make an actual cube?

For this I'm assuming we remove the awkward handles, and have a gamecube of 110h x150w x161d in mm

Let's figure out how many we'd need to make a gamecubecube.

First, get the prime factors of each dimension

110 = 2 5 11 150 = 2 3 5^2 161 = 7 23

The product of the prime factors is 265650 so each edge of our gamecubecube is going to be 265650mm.

Now we can see how many gamecubes would make up our gamecubecube.

It would be 265650/110 high = 2415

265650/150 wide = 1771

265650/161 deep = 1650

So with those dimensions, we'd need 7,056,992,250 gamecubes to make a gamecubecube

I don't think it's practical to get hold over over 7 billion gamecubes to form a gamecubecube that's over 265 meters high though.

But I feel better for knowing this.

[maxladcomics]

Hey I'm not making a habit of pointing out the wiki's lies or anything but

BUT

IT'S HIS HOUSE.

It's also his house in Deltarune btw

[leggerefiore]

Thank you all for continuing to support this silly little blog of mine

[totheidiot]

death note is super unrealistic in the fact that everyone who even as much as glimpses at light's direction appears to be completely obsessed with him like L, takada, mikami, misa, all of his past girlfriends, on and on and yeah, like he is literally not anything special. he isn't even that hot but like. personally, though, this part of me knows deep down that i myself would have folded for him immediately. he is an ugly rat but if he showed up, his usual facade of this charming and smart man, there is not much i could do. i am no better than any of them.

[lemon-natalia]

Gideon the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 32

ok i was joking about the whole picking the lock thing but they’re actually doing it wow. i can foresee absolutely no way breaking the one rule you were given could possibly go wrong 

oh now they’re doing the whole mind melding thing with Palamedes and Harrow. good thing he doesn’t have aphantasia i guess

‘that’s what she said’ Gideon is making shitty puns again, all is right with the world

each place they’ve uncovered, the facility then the study, now the tower seems to have been more and more in disarray and left in more of a hurry each time.

wait the skeletons are revenants?!? and of course, Harrow literally mentioned ages back about how impressed she was by them and that she couldn’t copy them. 

not ghosts, not skeletons, but a secret third thing (ghost skeletons)

‘five hundred into fifty’ …no idea what that's about, but i do notice that the note says ‘Ask E.J.G’ - could the G stand for the Gideon mentioned on the piece of paper in the study?

oh and creepy old photo contains a picture of a young Teacher! this just got very The Shining 

wait they’re all revenants?! including Teacher!! holy crap, i know i joked about him being an imposter but i did not see that coming

at least the fire alarm gave them enough time to exposit about revenants and find Teacher’s creepy photo before going off. i guess all the skeletons stopped working as soon as they opened the door then

rip salt and pepper priest not only were you never named you were dead all along. also Teacher said he had to go lock a door… that’s ominous as fuck

i feel very bad about leaving Dulcinea alone rn but it’s not like they have any other choice 

the Second thought Teacher was the killer, attacked him, so Teacher killed the Second House with inhuman strength?!?! holy crap. i really thought he was a sweet old guy this whole time 😭😭

wow Harrow your bedside manner to the dying is just oh-so-comforting 

and Teacher provides one last cryptic, unhelpful message that the Emperor is coming!! well he’s not going to be much of a non-entity now. this whole chapter was just insane from start to finish

‘nobody should ever have to watch their cavalier die’ what with this and the end of the last chapter where Harrow asked Gideon to outlast her … i am desperately hoping this is not more ominous foreshadowing 🙃

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

the constant's got talent (debatably)

[hanzajesthanza]

the scene i find most relatable in all of the witcher saga is ciri in the korath desert, and idk what that says about me, but… probably nothing good 😅🙃

[not-poignant]

I reblogged something last night about how sometimes people ask a question that can easily be googled because they want a human connection more than they want the answer quickly.

I also wanted to add that another reason is simply that Google is now way more terrible than it used to be, and there's no guarantee that someone will get the same answers that you do in an identical Google search. In fact, I can guarantee you they won't, and the more politically disparate your views, the more likely they are to get the kind of results you don't want them to get.

That doesn't matter as much on things like 'what's the best vacuum cleaner' (in which case human recommendations are often more meaningful than a single Google search anyway). But it does matter a great deal on political subjects.

Once upon a time, Google gave everyone exactly the same results if they all used exactly the same search terms. That might be before the time of some of the people here. But either way, these days, that's not what Google does. It caters search results specifically to you based on the algorithms of what you buy, what you read, and what you spend the most time looking at.

If you're an academic type who enjoys researching thoroughly, you're more likely to see .edu sites and peer reviewed articles in your results than someone who likes the tabloids and implicitly trusts Fox News. If you want that person to have access to the same level of information you have, you can't assume Google will give it to them. You don't owe them labour, but if you want a person to have that information, you may have to give it to them, or teach them how to find it beyond a flippant 'Google it.'

Oh, and above all of that, Google privileges the search results of the companies that pay them the most money to be the top in their rankings.

At any rate, the phrase 'just Google it' isn't really useful anymore. If you don't have the energy to help someone, don't help them and walk away. If you don't have the energy to put up with trolling, don't dismiss them with verbiage that implies that it's wrong to ask for help, because trolls don't care, and the people who are genuinely curious will feel like it's wrong to ask for help.

Note: None of this applies to sealioning, which is a shitty practice. You can push sealions back into the ocean where they belong.

Note 2: Alternative search engines are great.

[slav-every-day]

[edwinisms]

I really don’t wanna be that guy but completely honestly why does anyone think that a petition is going to do anything