#and the headache I got when it ran out during quarantine

[softquietsteadylove]

Thenamesh propsal AU

Thena needs her caffeine but in this house there is none. As a result she has terrible migraine!

"How is she?"

A loud groan sounded through the whole house in response. Gil winced as he walked in with a bag in hand.

He had completely forgotten that his mom didn't keep any caffeine or alcohol in the house. She wasn't one for it, Makkari simply didn't need any caffeine to be as brimming with energy as she was, and Sersi didn't drink unless it was socially. Kingo wasn't opposed to a coffee here or a beer there, but he considered visiting home like 'being on a cleanse', or whatever.

Thena needed caffeine.

She drank no less than four coffees a day in a regular work week. He was always telling her he was worried about her caffeine intake, but there was no arguing with the stubborn Goddess of War on that one.

It hadn't taken long for the lack of caffeine to cause an irreparable headache which shook her to her core.

Gil walked into the living room, where his very sweet family was being very useless at curing Thena's migraine. His friend - and fiance - was curled up in a ball on the couch, face pinched from the tension within her head. He whispered, "Thena?"

"Gil?" she whimpered back, not even moving at the sound of his voice.

Sersi handed him a cool cloth, freshly soaked and wrung dry, "none of the pain meds Mum has will help this. It's pure caffeine withdrawal."

"Did we try?" Gil couldn't help but ask, not that it didn't irk both his Doctor mother and his bio-chemist sister. He sighed, "sorry, just...I hate to see her like this."

Gil bypassed them, going right over to the ball of Thena and turning her over so he could put the cool cloth on her forehead. "Hey."

"Hey," she whispered back, just barely getting her eyes open to look at him. She looked even paler than normal. "You're back."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, lips pressed to her temple, unable to do much more for her. "I had to go out looking."

"It's okay," Thena turned over slightly with a smile, "Sersi and Makkari have taken wonderful care of me. And your poor mother is trying to find anything that will even simulate caffeine for me."

"Thena!"

"Quiet!" Gil glared towards the door to the living room, where Kingo was striding in without a care in the world. His arms tightened around her, "she's not feeling well, man!"

"Sorry, sorry," he chuckled much too light heartedly for Gil's taste. He swirled his hand in the air, "I made chai!"

Gil glared at his cousin--basically his brother. Chai was a strong enough blend of tea, and it probably would have just a enough caffeine to alleviate some of Thena's symptoms. "You had this the whole time and let her-?!"

"Come on, Gil," Kingo pouted at him, Thena still wrapped protectively in his thick arms. "I forgot I had it, okay? And anyway, I had the seed pods whole--I had to do actual work to make them ready for brewing."

Gil sighed a little more roughly, all but ignoring his loud cousin next to him, "whatever."

"I thought it might help," Kingo leaned blithely into Gil's personal space to get a peek at Thena. "I also suggested yoga to help clear her head, but all she wanted to do was lie around and wait for you."

Gil was already pulling Thena closer so he could carry her to the kitchen, "y'know, dude, I'd appreciate if you didn't do shirtless yoga with my fiance when I'm not around?"

"Who said it was shirtless?"

"I've never seen you do it with a shirt on," Gil shot back without hesitation. Kingo just snickered at his obvious annoyance (dick). Gil stood with Thena in his embrace, "I have something better."

"Something to put me out of my misery?"

"Something like that," he chuckled, kissing Thena's temple again just because he could. She was really funny, even if she didn't think so. "You know this is why I'm always on you about how much coffee you drink."

"Yes, yes," she managed to roll her eyes at him, although even doing that much seemed to reawaken her pain. She grimaced, "how long have you been waiting to bring that up?"

"Until I also had something to help."

"Gil, I--oh."

Ajak made room for them at the kitchen island so Gil could set Thena down in one of the plush bar seats.

"It's okay, mom, I found some," he sighed as he made sure Thena was settled. "Had to go all the way to that organic store where you fill up your own jars."

Damned retiree town and its hipster stores.

Thena forced her eyes open again, "what did you find?"

"Coffee."

Thena perked up like a dog offered a steak after being in the desert.

"I got the lightest roast they had," he held Thena's eyes, waving the jar of fresh grounds in his hand. She watched it, utterly entranced. "Just enough to keep the pain away, okay? This shit was still expensive, even as the cheapest stuff I could find."

Thena let out a faint laugh, in better spirits just at the promise of some relief. "Are you going to ween me off of it with this?"

Gil looked at her again as he set out the coffee grounds and french press he had to buy just to make coffee here. He could just tell her that he told her so and that this was probably for the best, to get her less dependant on caffeine to even function. But he sighed, "gently. I won't let you suffer if I can do anything to help."

Some colour returned to her cheeks, which was honestly more of a relief than anything.

"I'll make you just one cup to start, okay," he continued to speak softly, shaking out just enough grounds and then reaching for the kettle.

"Thank you, Gil."

He looked up, compelled by the gentle, almost musical tone in her voice. Some colour rose in his cheeks as well as he looked back down at his brewing, "anything."

"Hey."

Gil looked up once the grounds were starting to brew. Thena nodded him over to her, and he moved automatically, like a man possessed. Her knees made room for him and he had to stop himself from putting his hand on the other side of them reflexively.

Thena leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips, just close enough to his cheek to be considered not actually 'kissing' him.

He blushed and his all his hair stood on end.

"You're a life saver," she said afterward, forcing a much lighter tone. She tucked some hair behind her ear and moved to watching the coffee brew. "Is it done yet?"

He had to laugh just a little. He gave above her knee - just at the hem of her skirt - a squeeze and moved away again, "will you just try having some patience?"

"You are not the one who has spent all morning with a jackhammer within your skull."

"If you took it even a little easy on the cold brew it probably wouldn't be so bad."

"I knew you were dying to tell me you told me so," Thena rolled her eyes.

Gil smiled; she didn't wince this time. He poured her cup, which really needed more time to brew than it had. Maybe he was just as impatient to cure her as she was. "Just put some shit in it to cover up the taste."

"Gladly," she sighed, although it was Gil who moved toward the fridge for said 'shit'.

They both completely forgot Ajak was still hovering at the edge of the kitchen.

[petri808]

Quarantine memories fic hoarding craze for @thenaluarchive

— thank you to @phoenix-before-the-flame for helping jump start this fic 💜

It was Natsu Dragneel’s absolute favorite time of the day. 1 pm for him, and 8 am for Lucy, his… well, right now they were just online friends separated by distance and priorities. But judging by how he talked about her to friends, you’d never know it. They’d met three years ago on Twitch through a random chat stream about an anime series, and he continued following Lucy on her writing streams. Three years ago, she was a sophomore in college while he was in his senior year. Lucy later moved on to a graduate program, but they stayed in touch, growing close. To Natsu, she wasn’t just some girl online but a real friend he cared very much about. His friends called Lucy his online girlfriend. Pfft. He wished he could call her that.

Roughly two thousand miles away, Lucy Heartfilia was hating life. Her curtains were drawn, and a blanket was pulled over her head to drown out the light. The air conditioner was down to 60 degrees Fahrenheit, working against the low-grade fever and pounding migraine born yesterday. Migraines… the bane of her otherwise healthy existence. It was her fault after all, the temptation of a chocolate dessert knowing full well it was one of her triggers brought on said migraine and all she could do was bear it.

Why?

“Stupid hoarders!” Lucy groaned to herself.

As if dealing with a pandemic wasn’t bad enough, people’s selfish reactions to it were worse. A government agency had claimed that acetaminophen products could help with the virus’s symptoms, so what did people do? Panic buying anything and everything they could find containing that drug! The problem for people like Lucy, is the one over the counter medication that helped with her migraines was Excedrine… an acetaminophen product! And she’d just. run. out.

Lucy’s phone rang and she knew exactly who it could be based on the time. So, she clicked the answer button without opening her eyes.

“Hey, Natsu,” she groaned out.

“Morning Lucy! Oh geez, you sound like a frog.”

“Thanks,” she retorted sarcastically. “I’ve got a migraine.”

“Ouch.” Natsu genuinely flinched. He rarely got headaches, but this wasn’t the first time he’d talked to Lucy when she was going through one, so he knew what she was going through. “The meds aren’t helping?”

Lucy sighed. “I ran out. And did you see the news about all the hoarding? Every store here is bought out. It… sucks.”

“I could check around here and send you any I find,” he offered.

“Aww, that’s sweet of you Natsu, but I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“Pfft. Nonsense. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

“Thanks, Natsu. I appreciate it.” Lucy smiled through the pain. There’s a good reason her feelings for the man had grown over the years. His sweet and caring, yet fun and goofy, positive personality was an easy drug to get hooked to.

“Anyway, I gotta get back to work.” Natsu whined. “Good morning again, stay hydrated, and I’ll check on you again when I’m finished for the day, okay Lucy? Get some rest.”

“Have a good day at work Natsu.”

“Will now, after hearing your voice. Talk to you later Luce.”

She giggled softly. “Bye, Natsu.”

Lucy shifted under her blanket as she clicked off the phone to lie on her back. His sexy voice did wonders for her mood despite the pain still ravaging it. Now all she had to do was drag herself out of bed to eat something and drink water. She never had an appetite when she got these migraines, but it was a necessary fuel to fight it. All Lucy had left were extra strength Tylenol, so she could only hope it would at least take the edge off until the migraine ran its course.

Like so many others, this pandemic had really taken a toll on Lucy’s psyche. It’s not as if she went out a lot before it took hold, but just the fact it made going out dangerous brought different emotions to the situation. School had moved online which sucked all its own, she missed casually hanging out with friends on campus, and simply longed for the freedom of leaving her apartment as she pleased. But she understood the precautions of a quarantine. Frankly, she agreed with the city’s efforts to keep them as safe as possible no matter how many grumbled about it. Did it make it easier? No. But it was a necessary evil.

They weren’t completely trapped, could shop for necessities, visit family or friends, just encouraged to limit such gatherings as a safety precaution. If you went out, wear a mask, and just don’t stand too close to other people. Well, unless Lucy knew the person, why would she want strangers in her personal bubble anyway? And the mask thing? Have you ever been out shopping, and someone just sneezes without covering their mouth? Yeah— seriously, would it kill people to use one?! Why were people so selfish during times like this? Not everyone, but too many. Just like with all the hoarding frenzies that swept through cities, it was frustrating and— “Ugh…” being in a pain-driven bad mood was sure bringing her down today.

But despite all the external frustrations, the feelings of isolation from being in a quarantine for months were probably the most mentally exhausting part. It was lonely being so far away from home during a pandemic. Lucy’s been in college for five years and while she’s made friends in the new city, she was starting to crave comfort instead of an empty apartment. Her life online was one of the few things that made her happy, like Natsu’s daily calls, and kept her sane.

Natsu… her face heated up every time she thought about the man. They didn’t have a lot of hobbies in common, but he was always so supportive and made her laugh like no other could. Where they lacked in commonality, was made up in ease of conversation. It hadn’t taken very long for their online chats to feel more like an old friend and less like a faceless stranger. Over the years they’d talked about meeting in person one day after she finished school. It also helped that he was from a city not too far from where she came from, so if she chose to move back it would be convenient. But she also loved the new city she called home. Oh well, Lucy sighed. It was a decision still a couple of years away to make.

The next morning, Lucy woke up to find her migraine had finally given up. She could still feel the little bastard hiding, simmering somewhere ready to strike, but if it stayed mellow, it was something she could tolerate. Throughout the day, Lucy wasted no time in catching up on the homework she couldn’t finish the day before and making sure to stay hydrated with food in her stomach.

Lucy’s phone rang around 2pm.

“Hi Natsu, how was work?”

“Same ole, same ole,” he chuckled. “And how are you? Still feeling, okay?”

“Yeah, it hasn’t come back.”

“That’s great!”

Lucy could hear a lot of background noise, so she asked about it. “Oh, you’re not home yet?”

“Nah, and the commuters are being extra noisy today,” he responded benignly. “Anyway, tonight I won’t have time to talk cause I got a project due for work I need to finish.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Yeah, I’m still catching up from yesterday too and Levy’s dropping by for dinner.”

They chat for a few minutes about their day as Natsu waited for transportation. Lucy knew he used the subway to and from work, but today it sounded a little different, noisier and she swore there were engines instead of the normal train sounds. Maybe it was static. Finally, Lucy caught the muffled words now boarding.

“Shucks, time for me to go,” Natsu cut through. “Sweet dreams Lucy! I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Natsu!”

Lucy spent the afternoon relaxing online, chatting with friends and gaming. Her friend Levy McGarden later dropped by with take-out food for dinner and the two women caught up on random topics while movies droned on the television. They were both in grad school, so during the semester there wasn’t a lot of time to hang out, but they made do. Lucy was also doing a paid internship at a local magazine 4 days out of the week as part of her master’s program. She really enjoyed working there under one of the senior editors. He made it a fun learning experience.

Life was almost perfect except for the background isolation of the pandemic. Lucy was glad she wasn’t one of the individuals affected by jobs cuts, but it still got under her skin to feel trapped in a way. It was nice with her friend over... ‘Maybe I should see if Levy wants to become roommates?’ She wondered as she drifted off to sleep. The apartment would sure feel a lot less empty.

A knock at the door roused Lucy from her sleep. She blinked and yawned, looking at the alarm clock and that said 9 am the next morning. ‘Natsu didn’t call,’ she thought how odd. Maybe he slept in after working late.

Lucy dragged herself out of bed, throwing on a robe to answer the front door. “Gimme a sec,” she called out as she neared it.

“UPS delivery, ma’am.” The male voice responded.

‘UPS?’ Lucy grew confused. She didn’t remember ordering anything through them, but maybe she’d forgotten?

She peaked out of the peep hole, but all she could see was the box being held up. Okay a little weird, but some of the delivery people did that to show they were legitimate service people. Lucy slowly opened the door but kept the chain lock on while peering through the gap. But what she saw next brought on instant tears.

“H-How?” Her voice stammered out as her fingers quickly undid the lock and opened the door wide.

There Natsu stood holding a small brown box, dressed in a uniform of sorts, with a mask hanging under his chin, and wearing a goofy grin.

Lucy snorted a laugh as her eyes crinkled in happiness. “Is that a Halloween costume?”

“Yeah,” his smile widened, and hand scratched his head. “Surprise delivery,” Natsu held out the box, “for Lucy Heartfilia.”

“What is it?” She asked as she took it from him.

“Oh, I um found you Excedrine.”

Lucy opened the box to find 4 bottles. “You certainly did,” she laughed. “But why’d you bring it yourself?”

“It was quicker than the mail and… I hoped…” Natsu’s mannerism grew sheepish and tentative, “it was about time we finally met in person?”

Her face softened with a smile. “It truly is.” Lucy gestured into the apartment. “Please, make yourself at home.”

[secretly-a-cold-blooded-murderer]

Five Thousand Miles

Warning: Angst, descriptions of covid patients’ suffering, hospitals

A/n: I researched a lot about what covid patients go through in a hospital and their treatments but still took a couple creative liberties so I apologise if the descriptions aren’t accurate. Do tell me how you liked it!

Summary: Y/n tests positive for covid-19 and has to be hospitalised. Her boyfriend, Harry is five thousand miles away from her.

“Harry, I’m scared,” Y/n confessed as she readied herself, struggling with wearing her mask and gloves while also balancing her phone to continue talking to her boyfriend on FaceTime.  

“It’ll be alright, you are taking every precaution you can. Plus, you have to get out of the house sometime, you can’t survive on air alone. Trust me, baby, you can do this.”

Harry’s voice was keeping her grounded, she wanted to continue talking to him but knew it would be impossible to shop and talk to him at the same time, so she nodded at him, “You’re right. Okay, I’ll call you when I get back. Safely.”

Taking a deep breath, she went out the door to a world of germs, people, and newly acquired viruses.

Being in the middle of a pandemic alone wasn’t her favourite situation to be in. It felt better when she had company, people who would help her buy the essentials. As soon as situations eased up a bit, her quarantine partners left New York to be with their families. She was all alone now.  

Looking at all the empty streets, Y/n was left with a weird sensation. The city that never slept had never been quieter. She was so used to being woken up by car horns and car alarms in the morning that during the first few weeks of lockdown, she found it hard to wake before noon. This quiet was almost poetic, like the stuff of post-apocalyptic films. Y/n wasn’t sure if the silence comforted her or terrified her.

There were more people in the store than she had expected, though all in their masks, she breathed in relief. She went straight to the personal hygiene section, remembering the most important item on her list, only to find that the store was all out of toilet papers, the one thing films didn’t guess would be a big problem. She rolled her eyes at the selfish people who had panic-bought more stuff than they would have needed.

She tried every store near her neighbourhood, and eventually was able to get the last set in the final shop she visited. Tired from driving all over the city in search of toilet papers, she went to the check-out line to finally buy her stuff. 

Standing in her place, Y/n noticed the people in the store, few whose foreheads were furrowed, their eyes darting around making sure they were maintaining the mandated distance from others, panic evident on their mask-covered faces. Some others appeared plain bored. Already used to the new routine and just wanting to get it over with. 

She was so lost her observations, she almost didn’t hear it, the woman behind her in the line coughed loudly, making people jump farther apart than the required six feet.

“It’s just allergies,” the woman announced in a nasal voice, rolling her eyes at people’s reaction. 

As Y/n’s turn came at the check-out counter, she found herself frozen to the ground, she didn’t know why but the cough threw her off. It felt weird to react the way she did, but she could not make herself move. She was nervous. She wanted to laugh at herself for feeling this way because of a measly cough, but it wasn’t so simple and right now all she felt was fear.

“Oh for god’s sake,” the woman moved forward, pushing her aside and placed her items at the counter. Even the employee there seemed wary, but knew he had to comply to keep his job.

It was only after the woman left, was Y/n finally able to move, she shook her head as if to shake the incident away from her mind and finally paid for her items.

She ran all the way home, even though she knew she shouldn’t have. She couldn’t help herself, she just wanted to move away from the public and into the safety of her home as soon as she could. 

As she entered her house, Y/n felt her chest tighten, as though someone was sitting on it, she couldn’t breathe properly. It felt like she was breathing through a squished straw. 

In between her wheezing, she searched around for her inhaler in her side bag. She felt her breath coming back a few seconds after she breathed in the medicine. She fell to her knees in exhaustion and took in a few more breaths to calm down.

She then picked herself up and embarked on an extensive set of tasks- Taking off her gloves and mask, removing her shoes at the entrance of her house, washing her hands. But, this somehow didn’t seem enough to her, so she went ahead and took another shower, just to be extra sure.

While in the shower, she cursed her asthma. It wasn’t usually a big hurdle in her life, but now, everything was a hundred times worse. This was the first time she had feared for her life. Her anxiety was at an all-time high and all she had to keep her sane was her daily FaceTime calls with Harry.

Opening her laptop to do her work, she checked the numbers again- seventy thousand new cases. She sighed and closed her laptop, not having the motivation to do any work. She scrolled through her social media to distract herself only to be shoved more news about the coronavirus, she let out a groan of frustration and switched off her phone, deciding to take a nap instead.

Only she couldn’t sleep. She thought back to all the plans she made with Harry, promising him to be there next to him while he toured the globe. She laughed at the situation and how no one in a million years could have guessed the current world state.

She didn’t know when she fell asleep, but she must have as she woke up with a jolt in her bed after a strange dream. She shook her head and looked out her window to see the sky dark. She switched on her phone, it was 8 pm. She cursed to see three missed calls from Harry and one from her friend, Sarah.

Preparing herself, she called Harry. 

“Where were you, I called like three times?” His voice was deeper than usual, she guessed he had just woken up because of her call. She calculated it to be 4 am in London, where Harry was. She felt bad for waking him up like that.

“I know, I switched off my phone and fell asleep. Sorry,” she grimaced.

Harry hummed in acknowledgement, “how you doing?”

She could hear rustling on the other side and imagined a sleepy Harry sitting up in his bed, his hair messy from his sleep, “Just missing ya’.”

“I know, I hate that I had to leave you like that, wish you could come with me,” there was a hint of a whine in Harry’s voice which made Y/n smile.

“Wish I had a visa for England, I really wanted to come too,” and she meant that. At least that way, she wouldn’t have to be alone.

“I’ll video call you tomorrow, it’s late here, or rather early,” what he was saying next was obscured by his yawn. She sighed, she missed him too much.

“Yeah sure, see you tomorrow, bye.”

“Bye.”

When the call disconnected, she messaged Sarah to ask what the call was about, who didn’t respond. She shrugged her shoulders and went down to the kitchen to start preparing for dinner.

~

It started with a headache. She didn’t ponder much on it and instead only took medicine to curb the pain enough to continue working. 

It was when she felt a certain roughness in her throat, did she pay attention. Her cough worsened within days, she was having a hard time breathing normally. It felt like a less severe but constant asthma attack. She took her temperature, which showed her to be having a fever at 101°F. 

It took her some time to even process what was happening to her, she initially wondered if it could be the flu or something non-covid, but she knew she couldn’t take the chances. Harry was the first person she informed.

“What are you saying?!” Harry was frantic, his forehead creased as he ran his fingers through his hair, messing them up.

“I have a fever, a cough, and I’m having difficulty breathing,” counting the symptoms on her fingers, she informed him again.

“It could be the flu, Y/n you didn’t even go outside. How could it be anything else?”

“H, I did go out to buy supplies, didn’t I? Maybe I got infected there somehow. We shouldn’t be kidding ourselves. I have to at least get tested.” You didn’t want to show him just how scared you were, but it was hard to keep your voice from cracking.

“I am scared, H,” you let the tears out. Your shoulders shook while you tried to wipe your tears as they were leaking from your eyes.

Harry closed his eyes, not being able to see you sobbing, “I know baby, but I know you’ll be strong. I will take the next flight to LA. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He promised, his mouth set in a hard line as a strong look of determination crossed his face.

  She shook her head with as much strength she could muster, “No Harry, you shouldn’t keep travelling, plus, you can’t stay with me and I don’t want you staying at some hotel. It’s not safe.”

“Bu—”

“—I won’t hear another word about it. I have Sarah, and you have your work to take care of. I will be fine.”

She knew Harry wanted to say more, object to her claims, she would not be fine. But he knew it would be of no use, once she had made up her mind, it would be impossible to change it. So, he settled for a low nod.

“Keep me updated, I’ll also talk to Sarah. She better be there for it all. You should now call your doctor, see what’s the next step.”

Y/n nodded, smiling that Harry understood. She didn’t want to trouble him. She also wanted to pretend for a few more seconds that this was not a big deal.

She called Dr Gupta, her heart was beating at an all-time high and her energy was at an all-time low. She barely had enough breath to tell her doctor about her situation who booked an appointment for her to go to the nearest covid testing facility.

She took a deep breath, wore her protective gear and drove to the testing lab which was a ten-minute drive from her place. She was already out of breath by the time she reached the place.

When she was done with her test, she felt worse than she had before. Sarah called to check in on her, but Y/n didn’t have the energy to talk so Sarah video-called her, seeing Y/n’s face would have to be enough for her at that point.

Sarah’s eyes softened, seeing her best friend heaving, eyes shut and groaning due to her chest pain. But she knew, more than anything, her best friend was scared.

“I hope with everything that I am that the test comes back negative,” her voice was tinged with worry and genuine hope.

Y/n could only nod.

The call came two days later, Y/n sat up in her bed, she had been dreading this moment these past days, with Harry and Sarah to distract her.

The test came back positive.

She fell back into her bed, cushioned by her pillow and started shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed.

She felt insanely dehydrated by the time she stopped crying, she didn’t even get to call either of her friends. She stood up with a groan, and following one slow step after the other, she went to the bathroom to wash her now tear-stained face.

The call she made to Harry wasn’t an easy one. She knew he would take the news worse than she had, and her reaction was not a light one.

“I prayed. I promise I prayed Y/n,” his words were almost indecipherable in between his cries. His every tear followed the other with a ferocity never before noticed by Y/n.

Her own tears followed suite, she was so sure she had finished up all her tears, but she was proven wrong. Soon, the only conversation happening between the two was through their sobs.

She wanted to curse all the gods, she didn’t want to go through the pains of having this disease and she didn’t want to do it alone. Even though she had Harry and Sarah standing right beside her, knowing they would not be able to meet her in person, she had never felt more alone.

“I don’t feel good, H,” she confessed. Breathing was becoming difficult day by day, she would rather have an asthma attack twice a day than having this constant pressure on her chest and throat. She knew she had to tell him, “I have to get admitted to the hospital first thing in the morning tomorrow, they say my covid could be worsened because of my asthma,” she let out in between a series of coughs stopping her after every word.

Harry nodded, his heartbeat rising. He cursed himself for leaving his girlfriend alone in the country. If he hadn’t left, she would not be going through this, “I’ll tell Sarah, you go rest,” he promised, seeing it get increasingly difficult for her to even sit up in her bed.

If Y/n was scared before, then the hospital made it thousand times worse. It was a scary sight, the covid ward was in an isolated area of the hospital, the doctors and nurses were in full PPE kits, the patients were lined up next to each other separated by curtains. She passed a room with ICU written on the glass door. With what she could see, she noticed several other patients, some with masks covering their nose, probably providing oxygen. Others seemed in worse conditions, they were intubated via ventilators. 

Seeing them facing the same crisis together, although away from their families, but forming a new family of sorts in solidarity to their conditions gave her little comfort. Those who wore the nasal masks and thus still had the ability to talk were speaking to each other, even reading something from their phones to those who were on ventilators. Covid had seemed like a situation she would have to go through alone, her initial views though were changing.

She was admitted to the regular covid ward, with the rest of the non-critical patients and would be observed overnight. She was assisted with oxygen through a nasal mask, just like the people around her, she had noticed.

“Hey, I’m Cecilia, call me Cece,” a thirty-something woman introduced herself from beside you. The curtain was partially open, allowing Y/n to see only her face.

“Y/n, nice to meet you,” she called back, smiling as much her energy would allow.

“Never guessed this is how I would be spending my lockdown,” she laughed lightly, pointing to her mask. She then followed it up with a cough, groaning with the strain.

Y/n felt bad for her, only to be subjected to the same.

These were going to be some long days. Though she did feel better knowing she would not be facing this alone. She looked around the room, at probably twenty patients around her, in the same situation as her, if not in worse conditions. She then thought back to the people in the ICU and what they must be subjected to.

Her phone brought her attention to itself, it was Harry FaceTiming her; putting on a smile, she picked up the call. 

“Hey handsome,” she suggestively raised her eyebrows, not wanting to worry him any further.

Harry did not even notice her words, he was too busy gawking at her nasal mask, “what is that?” worry coating his voice.

“Oh just my new accessory, you like it?” although Y/n wanted to look nonchalant, the pain in her voice could not be hidden, she sighed, “They are giving me oxygen through this.”

Harry’s eyebrows were knitted together in worry, Y/n wanted to make him feel better. She could not rest knowing her love was out there worrying about her, “Look I made a friend,” she turned the camera to Cece laying next to her six feet apart, “Cece, say hi to my boyfriend, Harry.”

She had forgotten her boyfriend was a big deal but was reminded of it by Cece’s gasp, “Harry freaking Styles ohmigod ohmigod,” Cece squealed, making Y/n forget for a second that she was not a teenager.

“Hullo love,” Harry greeted her in his ‘fan voice’, a smile graced her lips. “Hope you beat covid and get better soon.” Cece’s smile made Y/n realise how long these people had gone without having a reason to smile and how desperately they needed it. 

 Cece’s squeal garnered the attention of the people around them. Noticing the pop icon on the phone screen, conversations started flowing between everybody. Introductions were made, friendships were formed and smiles were passed around, along with Y/n’s phone. So, she asked a nearby nurse if they could access a bigger screen so everyone could see and talk to her boyfriend.

When the staff hooked up a screen, Harry gave all the patients an impromptu concert. Y/n had not smiled in days the way this concert had made her. She expected fear, anxiety, deaths and instead got friends, laughter, and music.

When Harry was done performing for his audience, he gave her a brief look. “I love you,” she whispered to him, smiling when he returned the words.

The next day, she was woken up by the noises around her, she panicked for a moment, not recognising the place she was in; but calmed when she regained her senses and noticed the blue curtains of the hospital, several machines and the people they were attached to. 

She made a short conversation with Cece but had to stop because she was getting out of breath. With every passing moment, her chest pain too was increasing. She did keep listening to people chat around her. Some were on calls with their family, others were busy reading books and listening to music. She kept getting shouts of gratitude from the people in the ward for Harry the previous night.

For the next two days, that kept her going. She learned about her fellow patients, Jonathan was 59 years old, his son was an engineer and he couldn’t have been more proud; Jaya was a 42-year-old woman with bronchitis and wanted to visit Paris at least once in her life. Marc was a 50-year-old diabetic who was in a band in the 80s, they were planning a reunion show. She met countless people, each with their own stories. 

At about 10 am on a Thursday, her situation worsened. The doctors had come for a routine checkup, only to see that her oxygen levels were dropping steadily and she needed immediate assistance.

She was shifted to the ICU ward. She had to be intubated and thus was given a board and marker to write anything if she wanted.

“—Yes sir, she was shifted to the ICU this morning—”

“—We can’t say much right now, but we’ll inform you if anything changes—”

“—Okay, take care, Sir.”

Y/n heard bits and pieces of the conversation her doctor was having with Harry, although since she was on medication, she couldn’t register much of it. The nurses brought her phone to her, a silhouette moving on the screen.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?”

Y/n pondered how to describe the immense pain burning through her respiratory passage and the lack of oxygen eating away her lungs and not give him nightmares. So, she offered him a tired thumbs up.

Harry watched his girlfriend cough, her face contorting in pain and could not control his tears, he didn’t want to think about the worst-case scenario but could not stop his mind from going there. He knew how low the chances were of people on ventilators coming back. But he had to remain positive, someone had to. She needed him to be strong for her. So, he wiped away his tears, put on his best brave face and talked to her.

He called her every three hours. Giving updates to her about his day, talking to her about whatever he could. He talked enough to compensate for the silence on her part. She smiled through every sentence, even though he could not see it, even though it wasn’t visible on her face, even though she didn’t have the power to, she smiled.

And she listened. So she didn’t have to focus on Josephine dying next to her or Augusta who was a hair length’s distance away from dying the previous day. Even though doctors told her that her situation was worsening, she listened because that became the only thing keeping her from giving up.

As her pains didn’t go away, and her condition worsened further, she was given sedatives and was thus mostly asleep. Which she was thankful for, for she couldn’t take it anymore, she just wanted to rest.

Dr Garcia came by routinely to check on her, talking to her about the outside world, gave her the gossips being passed around the hospital. Even though she was barely awake to listen to any of it, she was thankful for the kind doctor providing a calm lull while doing her job.

“Mr Styles, I’m afraid her condition isn’t getting any better. She should have shown atleast some improvements,” Dr Garcia informed Harry in a heavy voice.

On the other side of the line, Harry didn’t know what to do, it felt like someone was pulling away the floor under him. “What happens now?” He asked, praying for some hopeful news.

“We really can’t say much, each case is different, but it would be better uhm,” the doctor was thinking through her words, wanting to be as considerate as possible, “is there any family of hers that would want to talk to her?”

Harry almost let out a sob as he realised what the doctor was implying ‘is there anyone who would want to give her a final goodbye?’

“No, Y/n’s family passed away in an accident when she was 16, it’s just me and Sarah,” he explained, his voice on the verge of cracking, it was becoming harder to get words out of his mouth. He didn’t want to talk anymore, he just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

“Oh, I understand,” Dr Garcia nodded, feeling sorry for the young girl who had stolen the hearts of everyone in the ward. She was a sweet girl, who had dreams and still held love for life even after everything she had seen. “This is not the end, Harry, she can still recover, God, I pray she does, this is not the end.” She really believed the words she was saying and wanted Harry to feel the same.

He nodded, tears clouding his eyes. He too really wanted to believe that.

A beat of silence fell upon the conversation, both in deep thought, “Harry, she wrote something on her board when she was awake yesterday,” Harry’s ears pricked up, “she wrote and I quote ‘I will not give up’ with a smiley face at the end. She is a fighter, you remember that,” Dr Garcia gave her parting ways and went back to her work.

Y/n’s words were imprinted in Harry’s mind. After the call, he made himself more presentable, wiping his tears and drove up to the church near Y/n’s house. He had come back to LA after Y/n was admitted to the ICU. He couldn’t be five thousand miles away from her in that condition.

The church was almost empty, which was surprising to Harry, given the situation, but he wasn’t complaining. He walked up the aisle, his hand grazing each wooden bench as he reached the altar and kneeled. He didn’t what to pray or how to pray, but he tried anyway. He closed his eyes and called out to God; he prayed with every part in his body, with every bone, every muscle, every fibre of being for his love to get better. For her to keep fighting. And for him to gain enough strength to deal with it all.

All this time, he had been feeling so helpless, not being able to do anything to make her better. But he made peace with the fact that the only thing he could do right now was to have faith. To have faith in God to guide him and her, in Y/n to be the stubborn strong-willed woman that she was and continue fighting, he had faith in his faith and that it would not disappoint.

He stayed there, talking to God until the closing hours. He then went back to Y/n’s place and sat on the sofa, waiting by his mobile, ready for any phone call he might receive.

He was awoken the next day by his phone ringing on the coffee table next to him. He looked at the time, it was noon, he picked up.

“Congratulations Harry, she’s getting better,” the relief was evident in Dr Garcia’s voice.

Harry felt himself getting physically lighter.

“I mean there is still a long way to go, but her oxygen levels are rising, her lungs are recovering, she’ll be soon able to breathe on her own. Harry, she did it, she won,” Harry didn’t listen to the rest of what the doctor was saying, he was too busy falling in love with the love of his life. It felt like he himself had come back from the dead. He knew his faith could never disappoint.

“Thank you doctor, I’ll be waiting for the call when you tell me she’s tested negative,” he laughed, his lungs breathing in air after what felt like a lifetime.

Dr Garcia chuckled along with him and agreed, telling him Y/n would call him when she woke up.

~

“You know I love you right? My fighter,” Harry tightened his grip on her hand and kissed her knuckles.

Y/n’s head fell back as laughter bubbled out of her, “You just told me that like two minutes ago.”

“I know, but a few weeks ago I thought I would never get to say it to you ever again. So, I will keep reminding you every minute that I love you and that you are the strongest person I know,” he snaked his arms around her, placing his head on top of hers, “I really missed holding you.”

She breathed in Harry’s scent, slowly regaining her sense of smell, she had missed this too. She cupped his cheek with her right hand and gave him a light peck.

Harry grabbed the back of her head, keeping her lips on his, deepening the kiss. When they separated, he rested his forehead against hers, not wanting her to move even an inch away from him.

Noticing her deep breaths, he whispered in her ears, “This is the only reason I want you to be out of breath. This and well... the other one,” he smirked.

“Oh hush you,” Y/n blushed, she sucked in a breath through her teeth, “Shit man, I love you.”

[specialagentlokitty]

Mark Sloan x sister!reader - by you

Could I request something with one of the guys from greys anatomy. I think I have seen you write things in the past but can’t remember. But if you can, could be for when the reader is one of the guys younger sister and she is sick. But hides it from them because they tend to overreact. But she ends up getting worst and ends up in the hospital. Oh also love your writing it’s given me something to read during quarantine lol - Anon❤️

Groggily padding around your apartment, you groaned in pain. Your whole body ached, and your head felt like it was going to explode, even the smallest of sounds rang through you like a church bell was hanging over your head.

Heading into the kitchen, you carefully grabbed a glass, filling it with some water before heading to grab some pain killers, you hoped they’d make this headache and body pains subside just a little so you could at least try get some rest. Mark was meant to be coming to see you after his shift, and you didn’t want him knowing you were sick, you’d managed to hide it from him for the past couple of days, you knew full well that he’d just worry about you, he always did.

Downing the water and tablets you leant on the counter, taking a small breath. Once you got it all down, you stood up, but you must’ve stood too fast because everything went blurry, and your head started to spin, your legs felt weak and you fell to the ground with a thud.

Mark was idly walking around the halls of the hospital looking for something to do, he had no patients or consults to do, so he was pretty bored. He had tried to call you but you never picked up so he assumed you were out.

“Sloan, can you help Grey, there’s an emergency coming in but no ones available.” Bailey rushed, gasping for breath.

“Sure thing.” He shrugged.

Mark brushed past her and headed to A&E, pulling on some scrubs on his way before making it outside to stand next to the eldest grey sister.

“What do we have?” Mark asked.

The sound of sirens were getting closer, so he wanted to be filled in so he knew what he was dealing with before the patient got there.

“Female, 25, found unconscious on her kitchen floor. A neighbor heard a thud so knocked on her door, when he didn’t get a response he called 911.” Meredith rambled.

Mark nodded his head, eyes glued to the ambulance that had just pulled up. He left Meredith head over to help while he waited by the doors, at first he couldn’t make out who was laying on the stretcher, but when EMTs pushed it over his blood ran cold.

“(Y/N)!” Mark yelled.

Instantly he was rushing behind the paramedics, taking the stretcher from them and pushing it into a trauma room. He made quick work of hooking you up to everything.

“They said her vitals are stable, she’s just unresponsive.” Meredith spoke softly.

She knew Mark a sister with the same name as you, so when she heard h8m shout she knew it was you, his sister.

“Get Derek now!” He yelled out.

Mark placed a hand on your cheek, running his thumb along your skin as Meredith ran out without another word.

“Idiot... what’ve you done..?” He whispered.

While Mark stood by your side, checking your pupil reflex, he sighed in relief when he couldn’t find anything wrong.

His head snapped up to the door as it opened and Derek came rushing in, instantly he was by your side, doing all the same tests that Mark had done.

“I don’t think we need any scans, by the looks of it she just passed out from exhaustion.”

Mark nodded, that lifted a weight of his shoulder but he was still worried, why were you so exhausted? Hey wouldn’t you call him to come help you? Mark felt a hand being placed on his arm, and turnt to face Derek who was looking at him with reassuring eyes.

“She’s alright Mark, she probably just has a cold. You know how (Y/N) gets when she’s sick.”

“Yeah... I know... still, she should’ve said something...”

“She didn’t want to worry you, you know what she’s like. She likes to be independent and not worry you about things.”

Mark just nodded his head this time.

“Let’s get her into a recovery room.”

“Yeah...”

Mark let Derek take you to the room, while he followed along at your side, holding your hand. Even when you were set up in the room, he refused to leave your side. When you woke up he was going to scold you on not letting him help, then he was ping to stay with you until he was sure you were 100% better.

Hours slipped by with Mark sat by your side, he even had time to do some paperwork, got some food and take a small nap. By the time you woke up, he was fast asleep with his head on the bed, his hand wrapped around yours. It made you smile, you knew he’d always be by your side, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Glancing around the room, you didn’t want to wake him up. It had some flowers around the place, and some bags, you could see you favorite foods and drinks and a wide smile spread across your face, of course he’d do this for you, there wasn’t anything Mark wouldn’t do to make you feel better

[sneezyminniejo]

I Guess I’m Just Unlucky

This was requested on my AO3

TW fever, fainting

Soobin had woken up not feeling particularly great. He couldn't quite place what was wrong aside from most probably having a fever. He was also feeling a bit achy, but brushed it off on the probable fever and the extra dance practice he’d been putting in recently. He slowly got out of bed.

When he arrived in the kitchen, he realized he really wasn’t all that hungry. He decided on two pieces of toast and hoped that the other members wouldn’t question him too much. Unfortunately for Soobin, Yeonjun had very much noticed the lack of food he had taken.

“Soobinie, are you feeling okay? You normally take more food than that.” Yeonjun walked over to the younger and placed his hand on his forehead. “You don’t feel warm, I’m going to grab the thermometer just to be sure.” Soobin nodded and sighed thinking that the thermometer for sure would say he had a fever, sidelining him until further notice. Yeonjun quickly came back and took the younger’s temperature. “You don’t have a fever Binnie. Are you sure you just want toast for breakfast?”

Soobin just nodded. “I’m sure hyung, I’m just not all that hungry this morning.”

As the other three woke up and came out for breakfast Soobin couldn’t help but notice a headache beginning to form. He excused himself from the table and went to the bathroom to get paracetamol. He was only gone for a few seconds and continued eating his toast when he returned.

Dance practice could have gone better. Soobin had found himself feeling rather listless and lethargic for much of the day’s practice, and when asked about it just said he was tired. He honestly wasn’t sure why he was so out of it today, he just was. As much as he wanted to stay late to make up for the disaster of practice, Soobin decided it would be better for him to go home and try to sleep off whatever funk he was in.

The following morning when he woke up, Soobin was feeling equally as bad. However this time he woke up with a headache. He decided to seek comfort today instead of brushing it off. He slowly made his way to the kitchen where he knew the others would be, and rested his head on the first person he could find. Which happened to be the maknae.

“Hyung,” Hueningkai whined. Soobin just whined back in response, which got everyone’s attention. “Hyung, are you okay?” Kai asked with concern evident in his voice. “Don’t feel good.” Yeonjun disappeared to grab the thermometer and put it in the younger’s mouth. The minute long wait was a bit tense, and Beomgyu quickly grabbed the thermometer the second it beeped. 

“It’s normal hyung. Maybe slightly elevated, but normal.” All the members looked, and sure enough it read 98.9, “In what way don’t you feel good, Binnie?” Yeonjun asked “I have a headache, I also just want to go back to sleep.” Taehyun went and grabbed some pain killers for Soobin, but ultimately there wasn’t much that could be done. Soobin once again ate a mediocre breakfast and got ready for another day of dance practice.

Dance practice had been going worse than yesterday. Yesterday, Soobin was just a bit off tempo and seemingly a bit tired, but today, he kept spacing out. He also kept absentmindedly rubbing at his chest as if it were itchy. Eventually a break was called and Yeonjun walked over to the younger who was drinking water. “Soobin, I think it might be a good idea to head back to the dorm to rest. You’re clearly getting sick.” 

Soobin just shook his head. “You know how instructor-nim is about attendance, unless someone has a fever, is puking, has diarrhea, or is meeting with management we have to be present for the entirety of practice.” Yeonjun hummed in response. “Besides, my only symptom of being sick is not feeling good. That’s hardly going to sway instructor-nim into even letting me sit on the sidelines.” When the break ended, Soobin got up, once again rubbing/scratching at his chest.

As dance practice continued, Soobin was feeling progressively worse. It got to a point where he suspected he had finally developed a fever. But seeing as he had so bad with no fever, he couldn’t be sure. Soobin knew he needed to stop when he started seeing black spots in his vision, but a break wouldn’t be called for another half hour. He tried to push through, but his body completely gave out and he collapsed to the floor.

 The other four members froze when they heard a loud thud and saw their leader on the floor. The dance instructor did a quick once over of the collapsed member before deeming the situation as ‘not super serious’ and then ending practice for the day.

The four remaining members stared in shock as the dance instructor packed up their things and left. Taehyun quickly ran over to Sobbin and gave him a more thorough examination. “Guys, Soobin-hyung is burning up.” The other three sprung into action. Kai ran to get ice packs, Beomgyu poured water onto a towel and started to dab his hyung’s forehead, Yeonjun and Taehyun worked in sync to get Soobin’s shirt off to try to cool him off faster.

Upon removing the shirt, the members were shocked to see that Soobins chest was covered in a rash of reddish-purple spots. Yeonjun sighed before speaking. “We need to get him back to the dorm, he’s going to be out for at least a week, maybe more.” The three younger members looked confused and were about to ask what was ailing their leader when he began to stir.

“What happened?” Soobin asked when he came too. Beomgyu spoke first. “Hyung, you spiked a fever and passed out. Yeonjun-hyung seems to know what’s wrong with you, but that’s not important right now. Right now we’re getting you back to the dorm.” Soobin merely nodded and allowed Yeonjun and Taehyun to help him to his feet.

Upon arriving at the dorm, Soobin was promptly sat on the couch while Yeonjun instructed the others on what medicines to grab from their stash. While waiting Yeonjun texted the manager to let him know about the dance instructor’s behavior and Soobin’s condition.

“So what’s wrong with hyung?” asked Taehyun once they were all seated in the living room again. “Soobin-ah, I’m sorry to say, but you somehow contracted chicken pox.” Yeonjun was trying his best not to burst out laughing as he spoke, but the three younger members didn’t have such control and cracked up. Soobin just groaned when he heard that.

“Remember a couple of weeks ago when I went to visit my aunt?” The others nodded. “My little cousin was recovering from the chicken pox, but my aunt assured me he was no longer contagious. I guess she was wrong.” Soobin began to absentmindedly scratch at his chest again, only to have his hand slapped away by the maknae. “No scratching hyung. That’s rule number one, and we’ll all help to make sure you comply.” Everyone nodded in confirmation even though a couple of them were audibly still snickering.

“I’m sorry hyung, but it’s just hilarious that you caught an illness as an adult that you should have gotten as a child.” Soobin rolled his eyes “I lucked out as a child in not getting it, but I’m up to date on the chicken pox vaccination. I guess I’m just an unlucky adult.” The members hummed in understanding, but continued to tease their leader anyway.

It had been announced on social media that all five members would be halting activities while Soobin recovered from his illness. The members did make sure to pop onto vlive to check in with moa. Management decided to be cagey and not disclose Soobin’s illness to the public, which caused some mass panic among fans over the two week quarantine announcement. However, all panic was quickly squashed during the fist live, which Kai was doing. Kai saw all of the questions asking how Soobin was doing and if any of the other members were feeling sick. He started to chuckle before calling “Soobin-hyung, moa wants to know how you’re doing.

Soobin quickly came into frame of the camera looking absolutely ridiculous with oven mitts taped around his hands and calamine lotion all over his face and arms. “Sorry for worrying you moa. I somehow got chicken pox, and for the safety of any staff that may be immunocompromised, we decided to stay in the dorm together.” The duo laughed as they read some of the comments flooding the screen.

Kai chimed in after a moment. “It’s highly unlikely that any of the rest of us will catch it, as we’ve all had chickenpox before and been vaccinated. We’re just playing it safe. Besides, it gives us more time to make fun of the fact that our leader here caught the chicken pox, and now looks absolutely hilarious.” Soobin rolled his eyes before waving to moa and leaving the room.

It was a week before Soobin was given the all clear to resume activities. As predicted no one else got sick. Since Soobin still had a couple spots here and there over his body, his members were still watching him like a hawk to make sure he didn’t scratch. Yeonjun even brought the oven mitts and tape with him just in case.

[spookysanta]

online - five. (g.d.)

Summary: everyone warned him about talking to this girl online. but he can’t help but want to fall for her... now he has to meet her. what happens when they finally get together in person?

Pairing: Grayson Dolan x Reader

WARNINGS: as usual, sexy thoughts, nothing major

click here for part one, part two, part three, part four.

UNEDITED

i hope y’all are doing well during this time of quarantine. if you need someone to talk to, i’m always here! :)

He woke up before she did, thankfully. He knew she would be totally asleep after being up in the middle of the night, and lucky for him, she’s a heavy sleeper. So he got the chance to make himself some coffee, run to the store, and have his workout (not necessarily in that order) before going back to his bedroom to wake her. “Honey.” He soothingly rubbed her back to wake her gently.

“No.” she grumbled sleepily. He knew she wasn’t a morning person but that was his clarification. She tried to shake his hand off her but to no avail. “Stop.”

“C’mon, baby. You’ve got to get up.”

“Go away.”

“Fine. I guess you don’t want toaster strudel for breakfast.”

If there’s one thing that she loves to eat for breakfast, he’s learned, it’s toaster strudel. More specifically, the apple flavor. She told him early on in their “conversations” together that she ate them every day and could never get tired of it.

Her eyes opened. “You did not.”

“Oh, I did.” He retorted. “Now get your ass up.”

She sat up, finally. “Alright. You win.”

He moved out of the way so that she could get up, moving quickly to the guest room to get her toiletries. Then she ran back through his room and into his bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. When she was done, she emerged in Grayson’s room where he was sat on the bed scrolling through his phone (as he’s prone to do when he’s waiting for her).

“Took you long enough.” He muttered as he stood, going up to her and snaking his arms around her waist. “You’re so pretty.”

“Seriously?” she asked. “I just woke up.”

“Shut up and let me be mushy.” He took her hand and led her out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. There were grocery bags scattered across the countertops and very clearly she could see the toaster strudel label peeking through the clear plastic. “I also bought you some bacon and eggs, since you still eat animals.”

She wanted to melt. He really does care about her, doesn’t he? “Grayson you didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to, don’t worry.” He ushered her to the breakfast bar to sit while he began to prepare her breakfast. “So…I was thinking today we go somewhere special.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He beat two eggs in a bowl as he talked, sprinkling in cheddar cheese. “Maybe we could go somewhere fun…maybe they’ve got rides…and maybe, just maybe, they just opened a Jurassic World ride that someone has been dying to try.” He shrugged as he poured the eggs in a hot pan. “Just a thought.”

Yes, she was excited that he suggested taking her to Universal Studios Hollywood, duh. Who wouldn’t be? But she was way too busy watching him cook for her—shirtless—to even register the idea. She was way more concerned with the thought of her bent over this counter with him behind her as he wrapped a hand around her throat—

“Hello?”

He snapped her out of her trance. “What?”

Too early, (Y/N). It’s too early in the morning for you to have these sinful thoughts, said one part of her conscience. Remember, teddy bears, waterfalls...

“You zoned out there for a bit.” He plated her breakfast, then set it in front of her. “Does that mean you don’t want to go to Universal today?”

“Yes, I’d love to.” She finally realized that she finally had the opportunity to go to Universal Studios, ride every ride there, and eat fatty and expensive amusement park food until she got a stomachache. He came around to where she was sitting and kissed her forehead before sitting in the seat next to her. He picked up one of the pieces of toaster strudel he made for her and took a big bite, wiping his fingers off on a napkin. “Grayson—”

“You can’t be mean to me today, baby. I’m taking you to check off your bucket list so really, you should be thanking me, hm?” he cocked an eyebrow at her.

“You know what? You’re absolutely right. Thank you, Grayson.” she tried to make it sound as sarcastic and unnerving as possible.

“I’ll take it.” He leaned over and peppered kisses on her brown cheek. “Alright, baby, I’m going to go shower and change. You finish up here, and we’ll get going around one, okay?”

“Okay.”

***

She had to remind herself that she needed to keep her thoughts to a minimum. She wasn’t entirely sure how that would happen because he was so gorgeous and he was so strong—she did not forget how effortlessly he picked her up last night to carry her to bed, and she certainly didn’t forget the tightness in his grip around her waist as they slept.

But even with how strong he was, and how dominating he seemed, he was still so gentle with her. He made sure to talk to her as if he were telling secrets, and he made sure to touch her gently, almost as if she were a porcelain doll.

She could tell that she meant a lot to him by the way that he kisses her forehead and cheeks, but why in the hell has he not kissed her yet? She knows that they both like each other in that way, and he already told her that he wanted her as his girlfriend, so what is he waiting for?

The (not) couple finished getting ready and was out the door before one o’clock—much to his pleasure. She begged him to let her play her music on his auxiliary because she’d just downloaded a song that she had to play. So naturally, he said yes, especially when she gave him the puppy dog eyes. When she played it she couldn’t help but get giddy inside because the song was so good (honestly her favorite at the moment), and they were going to Universal Studios Hollywood, and on top of it all, she was with him and he looked absolutely radiant.

“What’s this?” he asked over the blaring vocals.

“Oh my gosh, it’s called “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish. Do you listen to her?”

“No, not really. It’s a bit sad, don’t you think?” he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and saw her completely engulfed in the music.

“Yes, that’s the point.” She replied. “Isn’t it great?”

“It’s alright.” He shrugged.

“Alright? Gray, did you not hear what I heard? The vocals? The harmonies? The piano? C’mon, baby, you’re joking, right?”

Wait.

What’d she just say?

“Say that again.” Thankfully, they were stopped at a red light. He looked directly at her.

“Say what?”

“You just called me “baby”.”

Her eyes widened. She didn’t even realize she said that! “Oh, did I?”

“Yes, you did. And I want to hear you say it again…please.”

He needed to get himself under control because if she plans to call him “baby” all day long, then it’s going to be a long ass day.

“Okay…well, baby, I’m very excited to go to Universal with you today!”

He gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I’m excited, too. Trust me.”

“You do know now I have to put you on to more amazing music, right?”

He rolled his eyes. “If you must.”

***

The short car ride felt like an eternity to him. Not because he didn’t love having her around, because it’s very apparent that he did; it’s just the damn music would not end. Her music choice was…different. Not in a bad way, he thinks. It’s just not what he listens to and he almost had to plead for her to play Tame Impala before he earned a headache before their day even began.

He’s gained a new respect for Flo Milli, he’ll admit—but not to (Y/N), because then he’ll never hear the end of it.

When they pulled into the parking lot, he sat back in his seat, killing the engine and taking out his phone.

“Hey,” she piped up. “what are you doing?”

“I’m sending you your ticket. Shush.”

She couldn’t help it, and not that she wanted to, but she took her hand and raised it to his head, running her fingers through his hair. His body stiffened at the sudden contact, then relaxed when she felt him scratch his scalp carefully. There was something about the way his hair felt; almost too soft for it to be there. She wasn’t the “hair-smelling” type, but judging by the softness of it, she could tell he took good care of it and it had to have smelled good. She ran her hand through the longer tufts of hair at toward the front of his head, following the span of his scalp to the back of his head, and scratching at the nape of his neck. She soon found herself twirling the hair around her fingers, pulling on the strands accidentally.

He sucked in a breath, saying “ow” but not really meaning it.

“Oops! Sorry.”

Now here’s the issue between the two of them: they want each other. Not just with cute dates and kisses and snuggles, but in the most intimate way possible. But she’s not going to tell him that, and he definitely won’t tell her, because the list of things in his mind that he wants to do her is vast and vivid; he doesn’t want to break her before she’s ready to be broken.

Moreover, he doesn’t want her to see him as a distraction once she leaves. Once she leaves, she has to go back to school and study her ass off, and she won’t have time to call him every hour and tell him how much she misses him. She won’t be able to snuggle him, kiss him, or run her fingers through his hair. And that could be problematic for the both of them.

She’ll admit that she’s the type to fall hard and fast, so yes, the chance of her falling for him is going to be sky high; but that doesn’t mean she won’t do what it takes for thing they’ve got going to be successful and, most importantly, to keep him around.

He put his phone in the pocket of his hoodie, opening the car door. “C’mon.”

***

Of course, they had a blast. She rode rides that she’d only seen in the commercials or on the internet, and he got to witness her joy firsthand. That was his favorite part—besides trying deep-fried Oreos and sharing a glass of butterbeer with her. They walked hand-in-hand back to the car when she sighed contentedly. “Thank you for today.” She wrapped her other arm around his bicep. “You have no idea how much fun I had.”

He chuckled, kissing her head as though it were his job. “I think I have an idea…but you deserved it, okay? Don’t thank me.”

As they approached the car, his mind began to race (more than it already does when he’s around her). You know what? He thought, fuck it.

“Well, I still appreciate it.”

He stopped in his tracks, gently pulling away from her and taking her hands in his.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“So here’s the deal.” He spoke lowly. “All day, I’ve been wondering about what things could be.”

“In regard to…?”

“Us.” He nodded between the two of them to clarify.

“Right. Okay.”

“And I like you. And you like me. So why can’t we try?”

“Grayson, what’s gonna happen when I go back?”

“I—I’m not sure. But we don’t have to think about that right now, okay?” he let out a breath, cupping her jaw with his hands, rubbing his thumbs along her cheekbones. “I just can’t keep looking at you and not kiss you.”

Her heart fluttered again.

Or maybe this time, it actually stopped. She doesn’t know (or care) either way.

Without a second thought, she said, “So kiss me.”

“Huh?”

“Kiss me.”

He nodded, leaning down to her, his eyes locked on her lips. Why was he so nervous? He generally doesn’t act this way. But she was just so perfect, so beautiful—he had to take things slowly so as not to hurt her or break her like he thinks he could (potentially). Their lips brush, and finally, they meet. Her hands wrap around his forearms, and everything that her mind was clouded with was melted away instantly. She sighed into the kiss, relishing in the feeling.

When they pulled apart, he put his forehead against hers, unable and unwilling to hide his grin.

“Ready to go?” he asked her, not wanting to let her go for even a moment.

“Yeah.”

[behindheremeraldeyes]

title: duty calls chapter 2

[ch.1] [ffnet] [ao3]

summary: It’s been a while since the Uchiha moved out of her apartment, and so far, living with his best friend has proved itself to be quite the challenge. The pandemic was still far from over, and though they were both following the orders and staying inside, their hearts ached for the one who had to stay out there.

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a/n: It’s finally here! Chapter 2 of Duty Calls, as we were all expecting it, and I just gotta thank you all for the wonderful feedback I’ve received after posting chapter 1! Here in Brazil, things are still far from being controlled, and though my family is fine, It’s still overwhelming to see all the numbers rising every day. I’ve tried to use a bit of my experience to continue this story and even if I know it was my way of coping, I understand that, for someone else, it might be too much, so take it easy, ok? Times are though, for sure, but we’ll get through this! Again, I hope you enjoy this fic, and as always, I would love to know your opinion on it! 

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And in a matter of 3 weeks, the city of Konoha was no longer the same.

Though safety measures had been taken and people had been careful, it all proved itself pointless once the first case of the new coronavirus was confirmed. The patient was a young man, around his thirties, who had just returned from a business trip to the Sand Country. The protocols were followed and he was isolated from the rest of the society, but by the time the sanitary agents had finished talking to his neighbours, the second case was confirmed, and eventually, the third, fourth, tenth and the hundredth. The numbers wouldn’t stop as countless new cases were popping up every day, and it was possible to see the silent fear that had taken over the city.

At first, the infection was nothing but a faraway reality to most citizens. It was just something people were talking about on the news and no one really felt like it had anything to do with them. They thought it would never happen to them. However, the virus got closer, to the point where everyone knew of someone who tested positive. Most stories, sure, were about asymptomatic people who had nothing more than a headache, but whenever those stories escalated— whenever someone they knew ended up unconscious and with a tube down their throat— that was when people got really afraid.

In every district, rough metal doors now decorated the streets, and instead of colourful shop windows inviting the costumers to come inside, only closed signs and motivating messages could be seen. “It will pass”, “we will get through this”, “stay inside” and so many others that would only be seen by those who had a good reason to leave the safety of their houses. Those messages— and so many other entertaining initiatives suggested by digital influencers and famous artists—, for sure, were very uplifting at the beginning of the whole pandemic, when most people actually believed everything would be solved in a week or two.

Up until then, the COVID-19 was nothing but a global adventure for those who weren’t sick— or at least didn’t know they were—and it would be over before anyone got the chance to even become bored. It would be a chance to take a break from everything and sleep until noon for a couple of days before life returned to normal.

'Soon it would all be over', they said, and people were truly satisfied with just that.

'Soon'.

But as the days went by and the situation started to go south, people realized that their precious ‘soon’ would take longer than any of them had initially planned. 

By the end of March, people weren’t as excited as they used to be, and now, as everyone watched as Spring went by through closed windows, hope was no longer a familiar feeling and fear had invaded most of the residences around the city. The citizens had turned pessimistic regarding the uncertain future, and some of them were even going through the 7 stages of grief as they mourned their long-lost life.

Times were tough. For those who could stay at home and for those who couldn’t but forced themselves to, times were really tough. 

Even for those who don’t usually go out that much, staying stuck inside 4 walls was proving itself to be quite the challenge. Staring at the same things and at the same people— if there even were people— was starting to take its toll on everyone, and there were days when it was just too much. Sure, every case was a case and people reacted differently to the current situation, but eventually, everyone was due to get sick of that life.

And Uchiha Sasuke was no exception. 

After his girlfriend kicked him out in order to protect him, the raven haired boy ended up staying with his best friend. For they were always together, Naruto’s guest-room was basically the Uchiha's spare room, and it’s proven itself quite useful whenever he and the pinkette engaged in one of their lover’s spat. 

They didn’t fight much, but when they did—well— it was better to stay out of it.

Still, even if he didn’t have to spend two months sleeping on a couch, to say sharing the apartment with the blonde was easy would be a huge lie. They’re too different, both of them. Though best friends since they were in their dippers, both Sasuke and Naruto have very strong personalities and it doesn’t take much for them to start a fight. They’re stubborn, hot-headed and neither of them would even dream about admitting to be mistaken. In other words, chances were that they would end up killing each other before the end of the quarantine.

The Uchiha needed space. He needed a full day without listening to that annoying ‘dattebayo!’ or seeing those ramen cups pilling up all over the sink. The blonde wouldn’t move a finger to help with the chores, and if it depended on him, the trash would stay there until it decomposed itself. Naruto is a slob and living with him has made Sasuke reconsider his early life choices. 

How could someone who leaves his unwashed clothes all around the place be his best friend? 

Their friendship, as the Uchiha concluded, was not meant to be put to test like that. They should have never been forced to share the same roof for more than 7 days and the pandemic was nowhere near its end.

There was no way both of them would survive another month together. They had to do something. They had to talk things through and establish some rules in order to make that whole experience less traumatic. Sasuke was more than aware of that, but there was just no way he would be the first to suggest anything, no.

Naruto would have to grow up and admit to be a failure as a productive member of the society.

And until that happened, the only thing the raven haired boy could do was sulk. Sulk and take long showers so he could completely ignore Naruto’s existence for a while.

Yes, those long showers were probably the one thing keeping the Uchiha from murdering his best friend, and right now, he was really glad to be taking one. The warm water running down his skin, soothing his muscles and taking his mind away from the messy apartment. During his showers, he could, for once, think clearly about what was happening in the world, and most importantly, what was probably happening to his girlfriend.

What could she be doing at that moment? Was the hospital already crowded? Was she okay?

Though they face-timed every day, it still wasn’t enough for him to ask all the questions that haunted his dreams and to just talk about nothing in order to make up for the lost time. Day after day, whenever her pretty face showed up on his computer screen, Sasuke could feel a heavy weight being lifted from his chest. Normally, she would be smiling and her bright, emerald eyes would shine brighter whenever he said anything about wanting to kill Naruto in his sleep. 

After talking about their respective days, he would ask her if she was eating and sleeping properly, and even if she would always try to change the subject at that point, he would glare at her until she talked so he could scold her for being irresponsible. He would, then, ask her if she needed anything and tell her to go get some rest before the call ended. They never parted with a ‘goodbye’, choosing, instead, to say ‘I'll see you soon”. Even though they had never really talked about the reason behind that choice of words, through the silent glances exchanged by their eyes, it was possible to tell they both knew it.

Oh, they knew it too well. For she is a front-liner and he is no fool, they knew better than to just believe things would be solved in a matter of days. It would be long until they could finally meet face to face again— until they could feel their hands brushing against one another and the scent of their bodies pressed tight— so they figured that, in the midst of the chaos that was now wiping the world, they could allow themselves to be fooled by a white lie. 

Their soon would come. When, they didn’t know, but it would come before either of them could say goodbye.

Though the hot water was doing wonders to both his body and soul, the Uchiha knew he couldn't stay there forever. After releasing a defeated sigh, he turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. Water was still dripping from his hair as he dried his body, and the steam surrounding him clouded the mirror and every glassy object inside the bathroom. Apparently, he had spent too much time in there this time, he thought, but couldn’t find it in himself to care. He ran his fingers through his soaking, dark locks, ruffling them a bit as to prevent them from sticking to his face. He took a deep breath, then, and finally decided to leave his private, sacred shrine.

With no rush or excitement, the door finally opened and all the steam came out with him. The towel was still wrapped around his hips, and silently, the Uchiha started to make his way towards the bedroom. The apartment was quiet, at first, and he wondered if the Uzumaki went to the convenience store in order to buy more of that industrialized ramen he loves so much. Even if both him and Sakura were always telling him that he shouldn’t leave the house unless it was very important, Naruto apparently considered ramen a vital necessity.

He really is an idiot, Sasuke thought, as he was getting closer to his room. His hand was about to reach out for the doorknob, but before he could turn it—

“Ha! You look really funny like that-ttebayo! Have you ever worn so many clothes? And can’t you take some of them off?”

The Uchiha stopped. It was Naruto’s voice, and apparently, he was talking to someone. Dark eyes widened for an instance when he realized that it was coming from inside of his room, and before he could act on that, Sasuke allowed his best-friend the benefit of doubt regarding his reasons to be there.

Could the dobe be having a private conversation with someone? Was it work related or could he be chatting with a girl? That idiot should better not be doing anything disgusting or—

“Okay, I see that you have to go now. As soon as he leaves his beauty shower, I’ll let Teme know you called. Bye-bye, Sakura-chan!”

Sakura, Sasuke thought, as his heart skipped a beat. Why was she calling at such hour? It hadn’t even been 5 hours since her last shift had ended, so what was she doing awake at that moment? There was something wrong, he thought. He really should ask her and—

Shit.

His mouth went agape as soon as he remembered Naruto’s ‘bye-bye’ and before he could even think, the door was already flying open.

“Oi, Naruto, don’t hang up—“

“Ah!” Naruto screamed, blue eyes widening as he rolled over the bed and fell on the floor. Luckily, he was wearing wireless earphones, so the computer— Sasuke’s computer— didn’t share the blonde’s fate. 

“Tch.” Sasuke scoffed, clearly not caring if Naruto was fine or not. He walked pass the blonde in order to reach his computer, but his efforts proved useless for the call had already ended. The Uchiha closed his eyes in annoyance, cursing himself— and Naruto— for not being able to talk to the pinkette. For a couple of seconds, he kept staring at his computer screen, wondering if he should call her back or not.

What if it was an emergency? No, Naruto wouldn’t have been so calm if that had been the case. Maybe she just needed something from him? But that could wait until after she had slept. Thanks to his current state of overprotection towards her, his mind was playing tricks on him and nothing seemed logic.

What could she possibly want from him? And why wasn’t she calling from her usual ID? Could it be that she had been robbed or—

“Ouch!” The blonde said, sitting with his legs crossed on the floor. “Why the hell did you scare me like that, teme!? That hurt-ttebayo!”

“Stop whining like a child, Naruto. Why the hell didn't you tell me Sakura was calling?”

“Because you were taking your precious shower.”

“So what?”

“Last time I interrupted your you-time, you scolded me for hours and told me never to do that again!”

“But this was Sakura calling. It was important!”

“So was that documentary about koalas!”

“You are an idiot, Naruto!” The Uchiha sighed, walking towards the desk near his bed to reach out for his phone. He was clearly aware that trying to discuss that matter with the blonde would lead to nothing, so he decided to just skip all that nonsense. “I'm just gonna call Sakura and ask her myself.”

“Don’t sweat it. She won’t answer you-ttebayo.”

“And why not?”

“Because she’s finally opened her eyes to see the big jerk you are.”

“Naruto!”

He giggled. It was always too easy. "She's busy right now.”

“Busy?” He lifted his brows in confusion, checking the hour on his phone just to make sure. “Why is she busy right now? She said she wasn’t be going back to the hospital until later tonight.”

“Yeah…about that” Naruto started, scratching his cheek with one finger. “She said there was a problem at the hospital and she had to go cover for someone who tested positive.”

“What? Did she have to go now?”

“Yep.” He nodded. “In fact, she even called from the hospital computer. I barely recognized her with all of those masks and glasses. I took a screen shot of her for future blackmail-ttebayo!”

“Fuck.” He cursed, closing his eyes in pure annoyance and using his fingers to massage his temples. Apart from the dobe’s stupid idea of fun, knowing his girlfriend was already back in the hospital made his heart feel heavier inside his chest.

If they were asking her to get back and cover for someone, Sasuke figured things were probably getting worse out there. It was expected for some health professionals— if not most of them— to be contaminated, but seeing a person who’s always working so close to other various diseases being defeated by this virus was never really easy. In fact, whenever that happened, the entire world was silenced.

Another soldier was down. Another health worker, just like Sakura, who would be lucky enough if they were able to stay home and healthy for 14 days.

Knowing things like that were happening so close to his girlfriend and knowing she would be the one suffering the consequences left him even more worried. She was probably still tired from the previous night, and knowing her like he does, Sasuke was sure she wasn’t even aware of that. Haruno Sakura is a workaholic, has always been. She loves her job and she’s one hell of a good doctor, but all that love and dedication has taken its toll on her life many times before.

For working has become her coping mechanism, Sakura tended to forget about herself whenever the hospital demanded more from her, and now, during the pandemic, things were no different. In fact, they were getting worse and worse by the day, and even if Sasuke called her every day to guarantee she was doing well, it was not the same as when he could actually be there.

She was ignoring herself, he knew. On March 28th, when they called her in order to wish her a happy birthday, the pinkette didn’t even know what day it was. He had scolded her for that, sure, but he knew it was useless. She was going to keep working herself to the bones, and the only thing he could do was face-time her during dinner time.

Really helpful, he thought, bitterly. Still, it was better than nothing. Every victory against workaholic Sakura was already a great victory, and considering the current scenario, it was all he could do.

Almost all.

“Did she say anything else, Dobe?” He asked, his voice filled with displeasure. 

“Oh, right!” He nodded, eagerly. “She also asked you to order her some groceries online since she won’t have time to go to the supermarket herself.”

“Hn.” The Uchiha started, sitting on his bed and getting his laptop in order to access the website of her usual grocery store. Since the beginning of the pandemic, that small shop near her apartment has developed a delivery service for usual customers, and they were even making a special offer for people who were still out there. It was really nice to see so many people looking out for each other, and on behalf of his girlfriend, he could only thank those kinds of initiatives.

“Oh! And she also said not to pay for her. She told you to use her credit-card or else she will be pissed like last time-ttebayo!”

“Tch. That audio she sent me was unnecessary.”

“I thought it was very hilarious.”

“Shut up.” Sasuke pouted, his eyes staring at the screen and choosing the items. 

“Heh” Naruto smirked, crawling so he could approach the Uchiha. "What are you gonna buy her, Teme?”

“The essential, of course.”

“Essential?!” The blonde repeated, a bit exasperatedly. “Jeez, teme! Let me see it.” The blonde stated, reaching for Sasuke’s computer in order to see what he was adding to the cart.

“Oi, knock it off!”

“Onions, tomatoes, vegetables, raw meat… You really don’t know how to buy food, bastard.”

“What? I don’t see what’s the matter with these things. It’s what I usually buy for us. It’s enough to prepare good and healthy meals.”

“Yeah, I’m sure they are, but you’re forgetting something very important.”

“Oh, really? And what is it?”

“We have time to cook. And when I say we, I mean you.” He started, with a grin on his face. “She probably gets home exhausted most of the days and she definitely doesn't have enough energy to cook, so you have to buy something easy to prepare."

“Are you saying we should buy her a stock of frozen food and instant ramen; and ignore all the rest?” He said, sarcasm dripping from his tongue. 

“Well, not a stock, but she definitely needs some frozen food and some bowls of instant ramen."

“She needs to eat properly, dumbass!”

“She needs to eat, bastard!” the blonde started, and even if the tone of his voice didn’t change much, somehow, the Uchiha could see the concern hidden in his words. Though he knew he wasn’t the only one worried about Sakura’s safety, sometimes, he tended to forget Naruto could also be a decent person in times of need. “Once she has enough energy and time to prepare decent meals, then we will worry about the properly part.”

“Hn.” Sasuke closed his eyes for a second before giving the blonde his usual stoic face. “I’m gonna put on some clothes. Don’t spend too much on this crap or else she will be mad and I will blame you.”

“Yosh!” A smile showed up on the Uzumaki’s face as he scrolled around the shop’s website. After spending some time isolated and helping his older neighbours with the groceries, Naruto knew exactly what he should buy for his girl-best-friend and he knew she would be thankful for a bowl of ramen whenever she got home and didn’t feel like cooking.

And so, even if leaving Naruto unsupervised around his things was quite a risky decision, Sasuke put on his clothes and left the room. He had his phone with him, and as soon as the blonde said he was finished, the Uchiha sent his girlfriend a message.

‘Groceries Ordered. Call me when you get home.’

After sending it, his dark eyes kept staring at her picture, a longing feeling taking over his heart. Sasuke remembered when she took that picture of herself, and mostly, he remembered how happy they all were while having dinner at Naruto’s favourite restaurant. It was just the three of them for the night, and even if he normally hates crowded places, for the first time, he hadn’t been bothered by the people around them. They were all laughing and her smile that night was brighter than all the lights of Konoha.

Her smile…

At that moment, in the middle of that mess, he couldn’t really recall when was the last time she truly smiled. In a matter of weeks, not only the pinkette, but all of them were deprived of reasons to be truly happy. They were worried, scared and too immersed in this pandemic to even think about happy.

Happy would happen after life got back to normal. Or, at least, as normal as it could get.

Without noticing, he took a deep breath, locking his phone screen and heading towards the kitchen so he could start preparing lunch. Waiting for a fast reply would be useless, he knew. Sakura barely had time to breath, let alone text someone; and using her phone at the hospital was yet another risk of taking the virus home. She would answer him when and if she could. And until then, he would do what he had to do.

As a normal citizen, he would continue to do his part. 

–––––––––––––––––––

Her reply didn’t arrive until later that day.

The clock was already striking past 11pm and the blonde had long succumbed to his dreams. The midnight edition of the national news was about to start, and if the Uchiha had to be honest, he didn’t even know why he had left the tv on the news channel in the first place. The stories were all the same, the cases were growing and people were being hospitalized. They were all the same— and he knew it— but he had decided to leave that on anyway, and right now, after his phone had buzzed inside his pocket, he realized he had probably drifted off at some point.

His eyes blinked slowly as they adjusted to the bright screen, and though he had just woken up from a nap, all of the sleepiness had disappeared as soon as he read the notification with her name. 

At last, he thought.

He used his fingerprint to unlock his phone and slowly, he stood up from the couch. He turned off the tv, and as he had started his way towards his room, he read the message she had just sent him.

‘I'm home. R u still up?’

‘Yeah' He answered, shortly, opening the door.

‘How about Naruto?’

‘Fast asleep.’

‘Ok. Is it too late for me to call you?’

Tch. Silly girl, he thought, clearly not even considering her concern. ’Turning on my computer. I’ll call you in a minute.’

‘Ok.’

While his computer loaded, the Uchiha made sure to connect his ear pods so they could have a private conversation. Though he was glad to know she was already home and answering his texts, he couldn’t seem to ignore that odd feeling growing inside his guts. He tried to shake it off while clicking the face-time icon, but it was of no use.

Maybe, he thought, it had something to do with the fact that he had just woken up. Maybe he was still a bit sleepy or, maybe, it was just a side effect from the pandemic playing tricks on him.

Yes, he was definitely overreacting, he concluded, as his ears were filled with those continuous beeps. Sakura was fine. She was certainly—

Oh, fuck.

As her image finally showed up on his computer screen, his eyes widened in pure shock and he was sure his sudden reaction didn't go unnoticed by his girlfriend. His lips slightly parted and he could feel his heart sinking inside his chest. Her face was red— swollen, even— and her eyes were bloodshot, emptied of any glimpse of light. Red, prominent lines were drawn across her face, going from the bridge of her nose and down until her chin, as they perfectly delineated the marks of the masks she had to wear during the whole day. Her lips were pale, filled with cracks, and though there were no tears at that moment, he could tell they were brimming her eyes.

The girl with the prettiest of the smiles and the brightest of the eyes was, at that moment, in the brink of a breakdown. She was biting her lower lip as if to hold back more tears and he could see the way her eyes fidgeted from the screen.

It was as if she couldn’t look him in the eyes, as if she was ashamed, guilty or even both. She looked so frail and uncharacteristic that, for a split of second, it felt as if that girl— that destroyed image that was meant to be Haruno Sakura— wasn’t her at all. He had never seen her like that, not even on her worst days. 

Sakura…What on earth had happened to her? 

After a couple of seconds spent in a deafening silence, the Uchiha bit the insides of his cheeks, forcing himself to break that state of pure horror. He blinked a couple of times, and then— only then— he was able to let his voice out. “What happened?”

No reply. Her lips started to tremble as she looked away from the computer, trying her best to recompose herself.

“Sakura.” He pressed. “What the hell happened?”

“Oh, my, I can’t do this.” She looked at the screen, her body language growing anxious by the second, her hands reaching for the mousepad. “I-I knew I shouldn’t have called you, I’m sorry. Everything is fine. Go back to sleep.”

“What!? No! You’re clearly not fine. Don’t hang up!”

“I’m sorry, Sasuke-kun, I—“

“If you do, I’ll take my car and drive to your place right now, Sakura! Don’t hang up.” He said, firmly, and thankfully, that made her stop.

“I-I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“Tch, don’t be stupid. I told you to call me if anything happened.” His voice held somewhat of a rough tone, and for a second, he could see that roughness had managed to make her listen to him. He took a deep breath, then, and after what felt like an eternal pause, Sasuke decided to be the one to start the conversation again. “First of all, just answer me this…Are you safe?”

She nodded, slowly, as if her head felt too heavy above her shoulders. “Yeah.” Her voice came out as a whisper, and though it was too fast, it just felt too much. It felt troubled, and if he dared say, ashamed, as if her safety was something unfair. Condemnable, even.

“Talk to me, Sakura.” His voice got lower, though anger still boiled inside his veins. Sasuke knew better than to let those emotions get the best of him, but he couldn’t help but what to blame someone— the whole world, for all he cared— for the pinkette’s current state. She was falling apart, and though he could see her in a screen less than 30 centimetres away from him, it pained him to know she was miles away from his reach.

Her eyes closed for a moment, and when they opened again, it was as if she had gathered some courage to finally put her feelings into audible words. She breathed in and out, but still not really looking into the webcam of her computer. “We’ve registered the first deaths today.” She started, her voice was rough, and though she was trying to sound professional— one of her many coping techniques— her emotions were taking the best of her.  “And though it’s never easy to lose a patient, this time…Geez, It was so much worse.”

His heart skipped a beat at her words, and though he had listened to many of her hospital stories before, this one felt different. It felt heavier, macabre. “How worse?”

“We were making the rounds around the ICU when this guy, around his 70s, started calling our names. He sounded breathless and his oxygen levels started to drop so fast…” She bit her lip, her hand reaching out to her chest, clinging to her shirt. “He had been stable for three days already. He was making jokes and we even helped him call his wife yesterday because we were going to send him to a normal room, Sasuke-kun…But then, he suddenly couldn’t breath and—“ She paused, trying to find the next words as a tear slipped from her right eye. “—and when I saw it, my colleague was already intubating him and I was doing compressions because his heart had stopped, just like that.”

He could hear the sound of her exasperated breath, and for he knew she was still not done yet, Sasuke remained silent, giving her time to recollect her thoughts. There was still so much she had to let out. So much she had bottled up inside her chest and was now getting the best of her.

Such a strong woman. He wondered how much she had endured until it got that bad.

A muffled sob escaped her lips, and he knew she was ready— or anything remotely close to that— to continue her narrative. “He didn’t make it…We attested his death after half an hour or so, and now I remember looking at the people around me and we were just so…so taken back, you know? We weren’t expecting that outcome from that man, no. He was—“ Another tear slipped, and her voice cracked. “He was fine. He was recovering and he told his wife he was gonna go home. God, she cried so much on the phone when I told her.”

“Oh, Sakura…”

“But that was not all.” She swallowed, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “Right after the impact of his death, a nurse called from the hallway, saying there was another patient in need of immediate assistance and… And we just left him there and it was as if we were relieving that whole thing, but with a woman around her 50s, instead.”

“And what happened to her?” He asked, lowly, though he was already sure of what her answer would be.

“We lost her, too.” She closed her eyes, dropping her head in mild despair. When she lifted it back, more tears were streaming down her face. “I knew we would not be able to save everyone from this virus and I knew there would be deaths, eventually, but…But I never thought we wouldn’t have time to mourn each of them. I thought we would have had time to think and to pay our respects before we were summoned again.” She gritted her teeth, anger now visibly spread across her exhausted featured. “Sasuke-kun, I thought things were going to be more humane even with those who died, but I was wrong! Now, they’re just numbers and there will be more like them soon. And their deaths will be on us!”

“Don’t even go there. It was not your fault and—“

“Yes, it was! We couldn’t save them, Sasuke-kun! And worse, we’re probably the ones spreading this crap out there! When we come home and when we go check other patients…This is on us."

“You’re wrong!”

“No, I’m not! People are scared of us, Sasuke-kun!!”

“What!? Who the hell would be stupid enough to be scared of you!?”

A smile filled with scorn and mockery took over her lips as she lifted her right hand. She was holding a white, small paper that looked like a post it, and as she turned it to the webcam, Sasuke just couldn’t believe what he was reading.

‘You’re gonna kill us all! Get out!’

His lips went agape as his mind tried to find the right words to describe what he was feeling. Seriously, how could people be so low? How could they be so cruel and insensitive towards another human-being who was just going home? These people really are beyond any salvation, he thought.

“I’ve found this note on my door when I got home today… And even if I don’t know whose handwriting is this, most of my neighbours are averting their eyes whenever I see them from afar… So, yeah, I guess I’m not imagining stuff."

“Sakura, you can’t let it get to you. These people don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“Yes, they do, Sasuke-kun.” She spoke, a little louder now. “They’re trying to protect themselves by staying at home and I’m the one bringing the virus to them! They will get sick, and then…And then they will be just number, too.”

Bitter tears were now flowing down her face and he knew she had finally let go of the very last string that held back her emotions and her anxieties. She was sobbing furiously, now, and at that moment, he really hated himself for not being there with her. Though he understood everything and was even tired of hearing her voice lecturing him about staying away, fuck, he just wanted to stomp out of the apartment and go to her. There wasn’t much he could do, for he couldn’t really give her the answer she wanted, but watching from afar as she crumbled apart was just too painful.

It wasn’t fair. That virus wasn’t fair to its victims and it sure as hell wasn’t fair to the front-liners who had to see such horrors repeating themselves day after day. The lack of a cure, the pressure to save lives and the uncertainty of the days that were to come. Just like her, many health workers were feeling powerless and lost in the middle of that chaos, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. In fact, even though people on Tv were showing their gratitude towards those who couldn’t stop working, reality showed how fear corrupted the human heart to the point where they didn’t think twice before being assholes in order to try to protect themselves. 

Those were certainly rough times, where physical contact was banned, certainties were non-existent and there was no guarantee that anyone would find a solution before the next tragedy occurred.

The world was hurting. People were hurting.

But more importantly, for him, his girlfriend was hurting. And even if his heart was breaking for her, he knew he had to say something— anything— to help her get back on her feet. That was why she called, after all. She wanted his help since she was clearly not being able to manage it on her own. He had to help her. He had to be strong for both of them so she could once more be strong for those out there.

For she’s a practical and strong-willed woman, the Uchiha knew better than anyone that simple and heart-warming words would be of no use in order to calm her down, no. He would have to appeal to her good sense and her logical side. He had to remind her that, even if she was losing the battle, she was also the only one between them who stood a chance to win.

“Sakura.” He spoke, sounding firm so she could look at him. Her face had turned even redder due to the tears, and for an instance, he swore he saw her younger version who used to cry whenever the other kids were mean to her. He really had to bring her back. “What are you going to do now?”

“…What?”

“I've asked you, what are you going to do now?”

“I-I don’t know, I—“

"Are you going to give up?”

“Give up? No, I—“

"No doctor is forced to work during a pandemic if they don’t want to. You can quit, spend 14 days without leaving your apartment and then you can run back to your parents’. That’s an option.”

“Run back to my parents?” She asked, and the indignation behind her words gave him a certain hope that he was following the right direction.

“Yes. To be honest, I would feel quite better if you did it. Knowing you would be safe would spare me a lot of negative thoughts. We could even be together. That would be a good option, right?”

Through the cameras of their computers, they stared into each other’s eyes, and he made sure not to let his serious expression melt into a soft one. Dark eyes clashed against emerald ones, taunting them and daring the girl to take a stand. He was offering her a way out of that whole thing. He was showing her that there was another option if she felt like she couldn’t take it anymore.

Sakura could always give up and he had to make that option clear for her.

Clear enough so she could take the next step.

“Fuck you, Sasuke.”

Bingo.

Her eyes, though still red and a bit lifeless, were looking at him with a condemning stare. Though she had been looking like a child for the past hour or so, now he could finally see the traces of the mature woman she is. And even if it was still not enough to consider his job done, Sasuke could now hold onto something in order to bring her back.

“What? I’m just giving you an option.”

“No, you’re not.” She scoffed. “You know exactly what you’re doing, you jerk. You’re giving me a stupid option we both know I would never take just so you can make me feel less shitty.”

“Well…is it working?”

“…Maybe.” She said, softly, the tears now slowing down. “What will you do now?”

“Me? Hn, I should be the one saying this, don’t you think?” He looked at her with warmth in his eyes and he hoped she could feel it. “What are you going to do now, doctor?”

At first, she just stared at the screen, but slowly, her head started to move until she was nodding it up and down. Tears were still coming and her lips were still trembling, but she didn’t look that desperate or broken anymore, no. Sakura was slowly gathering her pieces, and he felt more relieved to see her like that. The pinkette took a deep breath, then, and he knew at that moment she had finally made up her mind. 

“Probably something stupid.” Her voice came out, softly and unsure.

'Now that’s the Sakura I know.’

“I'm going back.” She continued, lowly at first, as if to taste the sound of her words as they were thrown into the universe. “Shannarou, I’m going back to that hellhole because that’s the only place in the middle of this mess that makes me feel slightly better with myself. I’m going back because that’s my job.” Her voice came out with all the confidence he knew she would be able to muster that night, and he figured that was their small victory of the day. She didn’t look that scared anymore, and perhaps, she was getting ready to move on for the night.

“Tch, there’s something definitely wrong with you, Sakura.”

“Yeah…I guess there is.” She said, softly, wiping the last tears that were falling from her eyes. “I guess not even a pandemic will keep me from working too much.”

“You're probably right, but…” He offered her a comforting smile, looking away from the webcam for a second before returning his attention back to her eyes. “I'm proud of you.”

Judging by the way her emerald eyes widened, it was possible to say his words caught her by surprise. Apparently, tears started to pool around her eyes once more, but she stopped them before they could fall. Her lips slightly curled up at that, as in a shy reaction, and even if he normally wouldn’t have said that, well, he figured she was in need of those words.

“Thank you, Sasuke-kun. I don’t know what would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you.”

“Hn, that’s easy, you would’ve been stubborn like always. And though I’m sure you would’ve figured out what to do on your own, it might have taken you a little longer to reach that conclusion.”

“Maybe you’re right.” She started, tugging a strand of her pink hair behind her ear. “Damn it, maybe I really do need to start listening to you.”

“Better late than ever.”

Better late than ever, indeed. Slowly, she was coming to her senses and he knew there was nothing left for him to do. From that moment on, it was up to her, and more than anyone, he knew she would pull through it.

“Yeah…”

“Oh, and now that you’ve mentioned it, have you eaten anything already?”

“I guess not.” She bit her lip, her demeanor clearly showing she hadn’t even considered that until that moment.

“Tch, you’re worse than Naruto. Go eat something, will you? You need to refill your energies."

“Fine.” Sakura said, taking her laptop in hands as she started walking down her hallway and towards the kitchen. 

“Do I want to know when was the last time you ate?”

“Probably not.”

“Tch.”

She placed the device on her kitchen island and turned around to open her cabinet to grab a pan. “Come on, you’re the chef here…What can I do that is easy and good enough for your standards?”

At that moment, though he knew she was clearly teasing him, the Uchiha couldn’t help but remember the Dobe’s words earlier that day. And though he would normally not care about those things, he figured he could make an exception. It had been a rough night, after all.

“Do you have instant ramen?”

“Instant ramen?” She asked, confused. “Are you really suggesting that?”

“Aah.” He nodded, as if that was the most normal thing in the world. “I'm getting hungry, too and I think there’s still one bowl left. What do you say?”

Her face was a bit surprised, at first, but eventually, her expression changed and a soft, grateful smile took over her lips. In a swift move, she put back the pan and got herself a bowl of instant ramen. “Instant ramen it is, then.”

“Hn, I’ll go get one for me, too.”

“Okay…” She began, and he watched as she started to prepare the noodles. He was making his way to the kitchen with his laptop in hands, and it didn’t take much before they were both waiting for the water to boil. “Now we just wait, right?”

“I guess…Naruto is the expert here.”

“He certainly is.” She agreed, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. Her eyes were half closed, her head tilting a bit to the side. “Sasuke-kun…?”

“Uh? What is it?”

“I know it’s late and you must be tired, but…Can you talk to me for a bit longer? Just tell me about your day, I don't know.”

Her voice was soft at that moment, and he noticed the way she was genuinely curious about his day. Though she was still far from normal, Sasuke figured that was the closest to normal she would get in a situation like that. For the first time during the quarantine, he saw her, not as a doctor working bravely on the front lines, but as a young woman who had the right to feel insecure and scared.

They were all scared, after all. Why couldn’t she be, too, right? Just like everyone else, Sakura had the right to feel everything, and sometimes, feeling came with an overwhelming price. It hurt, it made her cry and doubt herself, but mostly, it made grow. As a woman and as a doctor, Haruno Sakura was growing and blooming like the flower she is.

For the better or the worse, that was how things were now.

And no matter what the future had in stock, they were going to face it together. Even if they were separated because of the virus, their hearts would be connected, always. 

“Of course.”

“Good.” She smiled, weakly, and at that moment, they knew that, in the middle of that mess, they could finally allow themselves to enjoy some good, instant ramen for dinner.

––––––

a/n: Okay, so… was it too much? From the beginning, I had this angst prepared for this story, and believe it or not, most of Sakura’s lines were based on real conversations shared by doctors. The note, too, was very real. It happened to a health worker here in my country and it just broke my heart when she told that to the press. Times are really weird right now, and it’s ok to be scared, but we can’t turn against each other! We need to spread love and empathy, not the other way around. If you need anyone to talk to, I’m always here! I’m a bit of a mess and I take a long time to answer, but believe me, I AM HERE! Anyway, thanks for reading it! Hope you’ve enjoyed it! Stay safe and stay inside!

[loeyluvr]

Times up (Part 2)

pairing: fem!reader x wooyoung

type: angst + fluff

word count: 2-3k?

Warnings: profanity, mentions of drinking.

Part 1

a/n: sorry it took so long to finally get a part 2 up but she’s here 🥺 lemme know if you like it & send in any requests you may have, and during this quarantine i’ll crank them out hehe <3

You weren’t sure if it was the mix of the alcohol in your system, the pounding of the music causing your head to split or the slow yet cautious words that made your blood run cold, that had you running for the bathroom. The wave of nausea that hit you was as bitter as the salt coating the rim of the drinks that lined the bar. There were tears pooling in the corners of your eyes, the mascara that coated your lashes stinging them just the same. You felt the room spinning as you snaked your way between drunken bodies almost collapsing onto one another.

You were shaken from your haze as you bumped into someone’s chest. You looked up quickly to meet San’s eyes as your first wave of reassurance hit you. His face twisted into confusion as you clung onto him hard as he staggered back, his hand instinctively meeting your back. You buried your head into his shirt the fabric rubbing hard against your already reddened and raw cheeks. The nausea subsiding even for a moment as the long held tears began to slip out. San snuck his arms around your waist quickly as he held you close, sneaking you away from the loud party.

You were whisked into a room now in uncontrollable sobs. The echo of the faded music accompanied by San’s soft comforting mumbles were like a sickening song you didn’t wanna listen to.

“Hey, hey it’s okay angel breathe.” He carefully led you to a bed, handling you as if you were a doll made of glass and you weren’t quite sure if you weren’t at that moment. The bed creaked from your weight as his grasp loosened and you sunk into the cold blankets. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe and frankly you didn’t know if you could. Of course it would be your luck, to run into him at a party of all places. The first time you had been anywhere but home and work. It was just something that would happen to you. You couldn’t help but groan into the pillows as your head felt like it was gonna explode perhaps meeting the same fate as your heart.

“Yeah uh huh get your ass in here.” You heard San whisper shout, into what you assumed to be his phone the feedback causing your ears to sting as you groaned into the covers once more as he mumbled an apology.

“Yeah shes ok just stop yelling and get in here or i will drag your tiny ass down-“ You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as the click ran through the room followed by San’s sigh.

You sniffled hard catching San’s attention as he tucked the phone into his pocket. His eyes were softer now, his hair a tussled mess from the stressed fingers that danced among the strands, mouth forming a thin line. He wasn’t too far but you soon felt his hands rubbing your back a sign of silent reassurance.

You hated when you were vulnerable in front of others, used to being the one that held everyone else together but the emotions you kept pinned inside for god knows how long flowed out just as quickly as the tears that now stained your cheeks. You could the nausea bubbling in your gut.

You sat up slowly as he withdrew his hand, leaning back against the headboard all while wiping at the mascara you were sure had created rings around your eyes. He didn’t say a word as he waited for you to tell him what the fuck just happened and why a trip to the bathroom left him to find you in your current sobbing state.

You met his eyes once more which were now filled with concern and a mix of confusion, his lip drawn between his teeth as he subtly chewed it.

“Guess who ran into their ex again?” You laughed dryly.

“Baby.” He whispered a frown sitting on his normally goofy complexion.

“Yeah and he pulled me into a room, confessed he still had feelings for me, told me why he wanted to break up in the first place, and to top it all off asked me to get back together all while you were in the bathroom.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as San’s face twisted into an unreadable expression.

“What a fucking douchebag.” You laughed as you watched the guy who had a stuffed animal collection that he used as bragging rights, threaten to beat up your ex.

The door whisked open and shut all within a blink as your eyes met Joong’s who himself was a disheveled mess. His hands met the same fate as San’s as they were pulled through every firey red strand that survived the multiple bleaches his head endured. San was still in his own world as he ranted on and on into the ear of whoever was listening.

“Was it-?” He asked as you nodded knowingly. And soon you were watching the two men plot your ex’s demise.

“Hey guys calm down.”

“No”

“No”

You huffed as you threw your shoe at San who dodged it.

“What was that FOR?”

“For plotting someone’s murder”

“Is it really plotting if I do it?”

“SAN” You yelled throwing your second one, nailing him right in the shoulder.

“Stop throwing things” Hongjoong warned sharing a look between you two as if he was a dad scolding his kids.

“You shouldn’t be on his side.” You said crossing your arms.

“I’m not i’m just saying some of his ideas are good”

“Like throwing him off a balcony?”

“Maybe”

You rolled your eyes out of shoes to throw.

“But realistically can we leave, not to be rude San but this house is giving me a fucking headache.”

“Is it the house or the continent’s?”

“Continent’s?”

“Or is it condiments?”

This comment earning San a slap against the neck along with another glare. “You dumbass it’s contents”

“Dude” San whined as he rubbed the back of his head and neck giving Hongjoong a glare right back.

“Can we just go home.”

“You’re leaving me?” San said suddenly as you began putting your shoes back on, the bed supporting your weight as your free hand balanced on it.

“You live here?” The question itself being rhetorical as you couldn’t believe a grown man was whining about having to stay his house.

“But can we have a sleepover or something I don’t wanna be here until the maids come and clean up.” San muttered his gaze scanning over the shelves as he twiddled his thumbs. Not literally but you were sure he was internally.

“We’re not 10.” You huffed, quipping an eyebrow. “And why can’t you clean it yourself?” You questioned sliding on the second shoe. Before setting both feet on the ground.

“Because that’s what i’m paying them for.” He deadpanned.

“Hongjoong?” You questioned.

“No”

“But why?” San pouted as if he wasn’t a 20 year old man. You found yourself having to make it known how old San was because otherwise you were sure you would mistake him for his mental age of 10.

“Because you have your house and we have ours.” Hongjoong explained so fed up he didn’t even offer a glance in the man’s direction instead typing away on the phone that never left his hands.

You giggled as San began to pester Hongjoong about staying as if he was a child begging for a toy. The mood shifting from a quite serious one to that of a very light hearted and playful one.

“Fine Fine Fine” He said swatting San away, putting the phone in his pocket as he slowly stood up.

“Fucking hell.” He muttered as he stretched his shorter limbs after sitting in the cramped position for as long as he head. Stretching his arms above his head, his shirt slowly rising before the fell at his sides once more.

“You can stay but you’re paying for breakfast.”

“YAY!” San exclaimed as he stood up doing some kind of dance that made you advert your eyes.

“Fucking idiot.” Joong muttered under his breath as he reached around you to grab his discarded coat.

You weren’t sure how you fell asleep or how long you had even slept but the warmth of the sun pouring in through your window and the sound of birds chirping had you awake before you wanted to be. You groaned into your pillows a habit you had picked up.

You wished you could forget him you really did. He put you through so much and yet you just couldn’t walk away scott free. Being with someone for as long as you had just for them to leave at the first sign of danger had your eyes rolling back into your head. All the broken promises and plans now nothing but discarded memories had you pulling your lip between your teeth as your repressed feelings became all too familiar once more.

You thought that’s what you would’ve wanted. A confession, an explanation as to why he didn’t want to be with you. For him to come back and for everything to return to the way it was. But it would never be the same. How could you possibly trust him when he couldn’t even trust you to not break his heart in turn breaking yours.

Sharp knocks on your door whisked you away from your thoughts. You couldn’t even yell in retaliation before the door was pulled open a body landing onto yours.

“San what the fuck?” You yelled muffled by the weight of his ass on your stomach. You pulled the blankets up to your chin as you scrambled beneath him.

“Hi”

“Get off me before I throw you into traffic.”

“I see someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

“Yeah you’re gonna wake up on the wrong side of the ground if you don’t get off me.” You shoved him off the best you could as he laughed like a child on a playground, a grin plastered across his face. You kicked him hard earning a whine before he finally got off of you and you could breathe again. You began gasping for breath dramatically, earning an eye roll.

“Hongjoong wanted me to wake you up because we’re ordering breakfast.”

“And you listened why?” The sun making you squint up at the man before you. The cold of the morning nipping at the toes you left exposed after pulling so hard on the blanket.

“You’re so difficult just get the fuck up before I make you.” The sudden outburst made you giggle as you weren’t used to him cursing which made you involuntarily relent. He crossed his arms over his chest before you ripped the blankets off your body whining at the cold of the morning. The cold air hit you making your whole body shiver as you regretted falling asleep in of all things a dress which you just realized you were still in.

“You let me fall asleep in THAT?” You whined.

“What was I supposed to ‪DO?‬”

“Not let me fall asleep in that.” Sarcasm evident in your mocking tone.

“I have never wanted to beat your ass more than in this moment.” You threw your pillow at the broad shouldered man child, him dodging it with ease.

“Will you stop THROWING shit at me?” He yelled at you making you erupt into a burst of giggles again as you watched his face go red the whole while you struggled to catch your breath.

“You’re not the comedian you think you are”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Just change before Hongjoong comes stomping in here throwing even more shit.” He pointed an accusing finger at you. “A habit both of you dumbasses seem to have.” His eyebrow raising as he pointed between you and where you assumed to be Hongjoong in the room over.

“Yeah, yeah now get the fuck out.” You said as you got out of bed for the first time that morning whisking San out and without skipping a beat closing the door right behind him.

You laughed as you heard San groan as he stomped away and not moving til his footsteps were nothing but echoes.

You began raking through your drawers for a hoodie to throw on not caring to get dressed it was a saturday after all. Pouring through stack and stack of clothes. You faltered over one, however, allowing your hand to skim over the white fabric and the designs along the sleeves which were roses in intricate patterns. You sighed remembering it to be a gift from Wooyoung.

You used to steal his all the time completely in love with the roses that ran along the sleeves and the way it fit loosely over your small frame. You also couldn’t help but remeber the fake fights you had over who got to wear it.

“It’s MY hoodie Y/n.” Wooyoung began in a playful tone which he tried to mask to be a serious as he could yet failing.

“But I want it?”

“But it’s mine.”

You threw your head back into belly aching laughter as Wooyoung tackled you to the couch before tickling you all over. His fingers dancing along your sides.

“All you have to do is give me the hoodie Y/n and i’ll stop.” He wagered pulling his lip between his teeth, eyes holding a playful look as he waited for your answer.

“Never.” You stuttered out, giggles being the soundtrack of the moment.

You frowned as you could see the smile that he held as you pulled him in for a kiss. Something you didn’t know you had missed doing so much. You quickly threw it on losing all sense of self dignity just craving the memories it held before sliding on a pair of shorts that weren’t a painful memory just something you had picked up on a beach trip.

You glided down the hall of your apartment throwing your hair up, wanting it out of your face, before the stillness of the morning was now interrupted by yelling.

“‪Why would you put it THERE‬.”

“I didn’t know you couldn’t REACH it”

“That’s not the ISSUE.”

You turned the corner to see Joong’s finger in San’s face as San held back a mischievous grin. You quirked an eyebrow at the sight earning a wave from San as his eyes met yours.

“Who the hell are you-“ Hongjoong started before turning around to see you looking the pair up and down with a glint of ‘what in the fuck’ in your eyes.

“Get your friend before I throw him to the wolves.”

“What is it with you people and wanting to throw me places?”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes as you laughed to yourself.

“Not my fault you’re the human equivalent of a smurf.”

“THATS IT” Hongjoong yelled as he began throwing himself at San hitting him along the top of his head as he cowered away from the small boy.

“Y/N” San whined. “‪Help me.” Hongjoong never slowing his assault on the poor guy.

“Hongjoong break it up.” You giggled making your way over to the pair‬ and reaching for Hongjoong’s hands. Distracting the red head long enough for San to get away from the corner he was backed in, whisking you with him. He threw you over his shoulder as he ran down the stairs to your front door.

“San put me DOWN.” You yelled as you began beating on his back, giggles beginning to fly from his mouth just like they had from yours.

“Where are you TAKING ME?”

“We gotta go Joong’s crazy” He muttered pulling open the door like you were in a video game escaping the evil enemy.

“Oh i’m sorry.” You heard him mutter out. Confused, you craned your neck over his shoulder and the sight almost made you fall from his grasp.

Food in hand stood Jung Woo fucking young. San quickly closed the door as you wriggled free from his grasp falling on your feet before yelling into your hoodie sleeves.

“Who the fuck ordered from HIM?” You asked in a whispered shout as Hongjoong ran down the stairs hearing the altercation.

“What the hell is going on?” His hand running along the banister.

“Sherlock here fucking ordered from WOOYOUNG’S RESTAURANT.”

“Ok?” He questioned confused. “It’s not like he delivers hes the fucking chef?”

“Oh but guess who’s standing outside right now.” You quipped. The blaring of the tv making the scene have a comical sense.

“He probably saw the address.” Hongjoong muttered rubbing his hands down his face. “San of all places.”

“I didn’t know.” San whispered offering an apologetic glance to you as he bit down on his tongue immediately filling with regret.

Your whisper shouting match was interrupted by a few knocks some that had always been imprinted on your mind.

“Well what the fuck ‪do we ‪do‬?”

“Not open that door.”

“But.”

“I will literally throw you out the window”

“STOP THREATENING THAT.”

You sighed before throwing your hands in the air not missing the confused glances thrown at you from the bickering pair, your resolve leaving you as you opened the door once more meeting your ex’s gaze.

“How much?” You asked face stone cold as you looked away. The coldness of the hallway hitting you like it had before.

“$25.62.” He muttered quietly as you snuck your head back behind the door, neck craning.

“Alright who’s paying?” San quickly grabbed his wallet before tossing it to you. You swung your head back out as you dug through the contents.

“Nice hoodie.”

“Huh?” You muttered before realizing what you had on.

You looked up and saw a smirk growing on his face.

“Shove it.” You began to pull out the card before you were met with his voice once more.

“Actually it’s on the house you can give your little boyfriend his card back.”

Your face immediately scrunched into confusion at the remark.

“Are you jealous?” You almost laughed almost shocked at how the scene was playing out.

“Nope” He said popping the p as he handed the bag to you. Your hand grazing over his. Your heart began to beat a little faster at the small action. You faltered for a moment before grabbing the bag, closing the door before the process was halted by his foot between the door and the wall.

You sighed looking up. “What do you want?”

“Can we just have one civil conversation and if you don’t care about anything I have to say this time i’ll actually leave and you’ll never have to worry about me again.” His eyes softened and it looked as though he was on the verge of tears which was a sudden change on the jealous smirk he had just held.

You sighed once more before pulling open the door gently making room for him to walk though. This wasn’t without conflict though as the two boys sitting on your couch hearing the whole thing weren’t thrilled with him talking to you again.

“You know what happened last time.” San warned completely ignoring Wooyoung.

“I know but just give me five minutes.” You whispered watching the anger slowly bubble down as he sat back down. Hongjoong didn’t even meet your eyes.

You sat the bag along the counter before gesturing for Wooyoung to follow you.

It was a somewhat awkward 45 seconds as you ascended the staircase, but you couldn’t help but smile as the memories of racing the very same boy up the same flight of stairs came flooding back. It made you feel warm but only for a moment, too short for your liking. You opened your bedroom door before plopping onto the bed. The scene all too familiar.

“I know that I fucked up, I put you in a position I promised i’d never put you in. One of hurt and heartbreak all because I was too scared of hurting myself yet all I managed to ‪do‬ was lose the best thing that ever happened to me.” He said in such a sudden burst it caught both of you off guard.

“Hm.” You hummed in acknowledgement but not agreement, a line you seemed to walk a lot more frequently than you liked. The conversation sounding a lot like last times and almost like the ‘here copy my homework but change it up a bit’ joke.

“I just want you back and I don’t know if that’ll ever happen because I know you hate me but-“

You didn’t let him finish.

“‪Do‬ you understand how fucking annoying it is to constantly always choose you over and over again. That no matter what I ‪do or who I speak to you’ll always be the one I want.‬” The sun flooded the two of you as you spoke the softness of the blankets causing your heels to dig into the bed.

“‪Do you understand how difficult it is that everyday I get reminded of you. From the simplest things as watching tv or walking up the god damn stairs. How hard it is for everything to always come back to you. Knowing this could’ve all been avoided if you just talked to me.” You let your head fall into your heads as you sighed hard.

“‪Do‬ you not think it’s the same for me?” You scoffed at his words.

“Everytime I get a text or a call always hoping it’s from you. Everytime I walk into a store I can’t help but pick out things I know you would love. Everytime I try a new recipe all I can hear is the words of support you held for me from the start. To know you always believed in me and I couldn’t believe in us.”

The last part made tears slip from the corners of your eyes as you made an effort to wipe them away. You heard him sigh as he joined you on the bed you used to share, his arm slipping behind you as he pulled you in tight and you let him.

“You’re so fucking corny.” You laughed quietly earning a giggle in return.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, unmoving and quiet, a silent acknowledgement settling between the both of you.

You took a deep breath before looking up as Wooyoung met your gaze.

“‪Do you really wanna try this ‬again?” You whispered. You had figured that trying it again would give you more peace then leaving things unsaid and stupidly and innocently you again let your resolve down.

“More than anything.” You leaned up and left a peck on his lips something you had wanted to ‪do for‬ god knows how long as he smiled against yours. The impulse decision being all but doubted as your lips reunited once more. The moment felt straight out of a movie, the two broken hearts coming together once more. You laughed to yourself at the thought.

“I forget we’re not alone.” You smiled as you leaned into Wooyoung.

“‪Do‬ you think they’ll kill me.”

“Maybe”

“MAYBE?”

“You were an ass”

“Touché”

You stood up as you entwined your fingers with his pulling him with you. It was like nothing happened and you knew it would take a longer time to build trust with him again, but you decided it was better than crying about the what-could-have-beens. You pulled open the door and in came crashing a petrified San as Hongjoong held onto the wall, eyes wide, almost landing alongside the gentle giant.

“WERE YOU EAVESDROPPING??” You questioned feigning shock as you had a feeling they were.

“No.” San muttered against the floor as Hongjoong shrugged, embrassed.

“I needed to make sure I didn’t need to throw him out the door.”

“Here he goes.” San sighed.

“So are y’all back together or?” Hongjoong said eyebrow quirking.

“Maybe so.”

“Alright good cause I am not in the mood to throw him.”

Wooyoung laughed as he pulled you closer, San wiping himself down as he stood up. Hongjoong looking on like a proud parent. The scene straight out of a sappy sitcom but you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Masterlist

[jobean12-blog]

Now that I mentioned it, I can't stop thinking about it and I love you the most and know you'll do this so much justice!!! Imagine being Quarantined in your cute little house in the suburbs with Bucky and you guys bought a trampoline, once it's built and you're bouncing on it, Bucky is like "fuck, this is bouncy. Reminds me of when you're bouncing on my cock" and let's just say Bucky wants to move the trampoline into your bedroom for future sex 😂 I love you 💜

Might as well JUMP!

Pairing: Bucky x reader (College Bucky AU!)

Word Count: 1,094

Summary: After a long night of partying you wake up to an annoying noise, your boyfriend Bucky no where to be found...what could he be up to?

Author’s Note: So I changed the setting for this a little @mushyjellybeans and I hope that is ok! instead of it taking place during quaratine in burbs it’s at college where they live together (renting) in a house with 4 of their friends. It worked great for the HBC’s @the-ss-horniest-book-club College AU Day! Hope you like it! It was so fun to write and I may or may not have listened to ‘Jump’ like 12x! haha! Thank you all for reading! Much love❤❤❤ PS for some reason when I thought of Bucky in college this particular gif came to mind! ;) 

Warnings: fluff, college humor, Sam and Steve being sassy, Bucky being sexy, dirty talk, cursing, implied smut :) 

You wake to an awful pounding in your head, groaning and covering your face with the pillow. “Buck? Bucky? Buckyyyyyy?” you whine. Peaking from just under the corner you see no sign of Bucky, the rest of your small twin bed empty except for the messy covers and his tee shirt. Turning over you grab your phone to check the time, a small gasp escaping when you see it’s after 12pm.

“Shit,” you mutter, pulling your underwear up and throwing Bucky’s shirt over your head. You wash up quickly, opting to put on your boy shorts and bra, knowing there could very well be random people sprawled across the living room of your house. Having your own place in college was a dream come true, except when you had 5 other roommates, 3 of them boys!

Stomping down the steps you continue your search for Bucky, instead spotting Sam curled up on the couch with a pillow over his head. “You look like me 10 minutes ago,” you chuckle, picking up the pillow and poking him. “Have you seen Bucky?” Sam rolls over, huffing and putting the pillow back over his head. “That asshole was making so much noise earlier, going on about jumping and Van Halen and building some shit in the yard. I couldn’t pay attention long enough to care and he wouldn’t shut up!”

You smash the pillow into Sam’s head and walk away, grumbling as you head to the back door. The banging starts up again and you call Bucky’s name. “BABE! You’re up! Don’t come out here yet, wait a sec,” he yells from the yard. You stop at the door, arms crossed over your chest and tapping your foot. True to his word he’s at your side quickly. “Morning,” he says, his smile suspicious. You grab the blue hat off his head and turn it around backwards as he leans in to kiss you. “Someone slept in.”

“Yea! And someone else didn’t! We were up until like 4 am! What the hell are you doing up and what have been doing?” He silences the rest of your rant with his mouth, backing you against the wall as his hand travels under your (his) tee shirt. With a giggle, you put your hands on his chest, lightly pushing him away, “don’t distract me! What. Have. You. Been. Doing?”

He rolls his eyes and tells you to close yours. “Now, don’t look until I tell you to, got it?” You nod, holding onto his arm as he leads you outside. The warm sunshine and cool air are a welcome relief from the stuffiness of the house, the smell of alcohol and bad choices still lingering. “HURRY UP, Buck!” Clicking his tongue, he chides, “always so impatient. Ok, wait right here.” He stands you on the grass and lets your hand go.

You squeeze your eyes shut in frustration, trying to not to huff too loudly. Suddenly, you hear a strange noise, something you recognize but haven’t heard it what feels like forever. “Bucky, what the hell is going on?” The familiar noise continues followed by Bucky’s laughter. “Ok, baby, open ‘em up!”

Opening your eyes, you take in the sight before you. There is a large trampoline now sitting in your yard with Bucky gleefully jumping on it. “OMG!” you squeal, running toward it and climbing on. “Now I know why Sam said you were talking about Van Halen! THIS IS AWESOME! HOW?” Bucky jumps over to you, taking your hands in his as you two bounce together in a circle.

“Well, I woke up at like 9am.” You immediately make a horrified face and he laughs, “I know, I know, I felt the same, but I had this dream about a trampoline and I woke up and ran to Walmart to get one.” You let go of his hands and do a twirl, asking more questions, “so that’s what the banging was this morning, then?” He backs up and does a flip, nodding and smiling as you give him a thumbs up.

“I know what we need,” he belts out, hopping off the trampoline and retrieving his phone from the grass. He connects it to the speakers in the yard and you hear the iconic start to Van Halen’s ‘Jump’ blast through them. “YESSSSSS!” you cheer, jumping higher and spinning.

You and Bucky are so busy jumping you don’t notice Steve come shuffling out the door and onto the grass. He’s shouting but you don’t hear him, too busy singing and jumping. He finally finds Bucky’s phone and shuts the music, standing and glaring at you both with his hands on his hips. “What is going on out here? It’s so early and you two are SO LOUD!”

Bursting into a fit of giggles, you point at Steve, sassing. “First of all. Good afternoon to you too. Second, it’s after 12pm, princess and third, nice hair. What the hell happened to you last night?” Steve’s hand immediately flies up to his hair, the strands sticking up in all directions. He tries with no success to tame them, groaning and glaring at you again, “whatever, could you two just shut the hell up, I have a headache.”

He stomps off and you start laughing all over again, asking Bucky to turn the music back on. He does so happily, now standing on the grass and staring at you as you jump. “What? You’re done jumping already?” you tease. Bucky licks his lips as he walks toward the trampoline. You stop jumping and stare him down, “what?” you ask, this time a bit sterner.

“Why did you stop bouncing,” he asks, his voice low. “Because, uh, you’re staring and I don’t know why,” you dead pan. “Fuck me,” he says, still giving you no real explanation. “I did that last night baby,” you say with a wink and start jumping again. He climbs back in and leans against the netting. “This thing is really bouncy, reminds me of when you’re riding my cock.”

You’re momentarily stunned, then you realize that his eyes keep moving down to your boobs as you bounce. Giving him a wicked grin, you reply, “well as fun as this is, I like bouncing on your cock way better.” You call him over with the crook of your finger. Bucky bounces toward you and does one quick flip before he reaches you, grabbing you and pulling you into his chest. “That’s good to know. Although, I wish this fit in our room, we could have so much fun.”

@aesthetical-bucky @bugsbucky @book-dragon-13 @buckys-broody-muffin @devynsdiary @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hailmary-yramliah @ikaris-whore @itsunclebucky @jhangelface0523 @jewelofwinter @jewels2876 @loricameback @littledarlinhavefaithinme @littleredstarfish @marvelgirl7 @metal-armed-cuddly-dork @mushyjellybeans @marvelandotherfandomimagines @nano--raptor @randomfandompenguin @scarletsoldierrr @sallycanwait68 @softpeachbarnes @the-wayward-robot @when-the-hell-is-bucky

[totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes]

Sick Day (fanfic)

While the votes were very close the sick day prompt won out last night, and I was kinda grateful because I had already started writing some of it before I got most of the votes. I’m sure you guys were looking for something more fluffy since my last fic was nothing but sadness and while I delivered some what this is still gonna be kinda sad, but I promise it has a sweet ending! I’m not sure if I’ll post this one to Ao3 but we’ll see :)

TW: sickness, mentions of death, mentions of Nosocomephobia

____________________________________________________________

The one thing that makes getting the flu even worse is getting the flu during spring break. No missing school because school is already out, so the days off just get wasted laying in bed with one stuffed up nostril, a pile of tissues sprawled on the bed, and the blankets half n and half off because it’s somehow both too hot and too cold. Lydia didn’t get sick often, but when she did it was never fun. Two days before she had felt a fever coming on but decided not to say anything because she still wanted to hang out with Wendy that night, but the next morning she woke up shivering and turns out she had a temperature of one hundred and two. Not the end of the world, but to say Lydia was annoyed was an understatement. Growing up her dad was always paranoid about germs, something Lydia thankfully didn’t inherit, but she still didn’t want to deal with him, lovingly, quarantining her. She took the thermometer, wrapped herself in a blanket, and went to seek the guidance of the ghosts. Ghosts can’t get sick, so they should have nothing to worry about. 

Barbara instantly pulled Lydia over to the couch while Adam ran around frantically trying to think of what sick people need, even though all Lydia asked for was a drink of water and maybe some Tylenol to bring her fever down. She ended up with a bowl of chicken noodle soup, slippers, about four different kinds of flu medication, and a cold compress. The first night she just slept on their couch, begrudgingly comfortable as a result of all the stuff Adam brought up to the attic. She would wake up every hour or so feeling crappy but she did get some sleep that night, hoping that maybe she was just tired and not actually sick, she read that online somewhere before. Unfortunately, when she woke up the next morning she definitely was still sick and it was not getting better as quickly as she would have liked. Her throat was all scratchy, she had a terrible headache, and she felt her body burning up under the blankets. She kicked the blankets off her and winced when her warm feet touched the freezing cold ground, she forgot that the Maitland’s couldn’t really feel the temperature so it was always a guess if it would be a sauna or the arctic up there. She coughed into her arm and shuffled downstairs to grab something small to eat, even though she was sick to her stomach she knew that she couldn’t take any medicine on an empty stomach. She managed to eat about half a piece of toast before feeling like she was going to puke, and she quickly swallowed down two pills. She sat down at the table with her head in her hands.

“Not feeling good?” Delia asked form behind her, Lydia simply groaned in response her throat too sore to even speak at this point, “Yeah I heard the flu was going around, I thought you got your flu shot though?”

She rolled her eyes not wanting to get into the debate of how the flu shot isn’t 100% effective and if she hadn’t gotten it she would be much sicker than she was right now. Instead, she just let Delia ramble on about what essential oils and crystals she thought might help ease the symptoms. It was almost soothing monotony as Lydia downed her second glass of orange juice hoping that maybe the extra vitamin C would destroy whatever virus was wreaking havoc on her immune system. Instead, it just made her stomach feel worse. By the time her father came down for the morning Lydia was almost passed out leaning on the table despite the fact she had just woken up maybe fifteen minutes before. Charles walked up to his unusually pale daughter and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.

“Honey, you’re burning up.”

“I‘ve got a fever.” she mumbled, “Barbara thinks it’s the flu.”

Charles stopped dead in his tracks, he didn’t mean too but he couldn’t help himself from thinking about the past, and what signs he had missed, and now he was starting to overreact. This was a flu, people get the flu all the time, not every fever is a death sentence. Not every stomach bug is a sign of...he wasn’t going to let himself get sucked into it again. He didn’t want to frighten Lydia. Besides she knew as much about the whole ordeal as he did, if she thought something more besides a flu was wrong she would have told him. He forced himself to put on a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I hope you feel better soon. Will you be okay if I go to work?”

Lydia nodded knowing fully well that even when Delia and her dad went to work she still had the Maitland’s in the attic if she needed them. Her plan for the day was to either pass out on the couch or in her bed under all the blankets and preferably with her cats to keep her company so she didn’t feel obligated to make conversation. The first day or two of the flu was usually the worst, so she just wanted to sleep through it. She could see the look in her dad’s eyes though, he was worried about her. It would have come off to most people as fatherly or even endearing but to Lydia, it was nothing but a source of anxiety when her father worried about her like that. She sighed a breath of relief when he did eventually go off to work. She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders, scooped up Cation in her arms and figured if Kraken was roaming somewhere around the house and would come join them whenever she saw fit. She had just about settled on her bed when her phone went off and she saw a text from her father asking if she was alright. She replied with a quick yes, hoping it would satisfy him for now, but she was rewarded with a series of four more texts asking if she needed anything, if she wanted to go to the doctor, if he should come home, and once more asking if she was feeling okay. Not wanting to fuel his compulsive questions but not wanting to make him even more worried she tried to reassure him that if something bad was happening he would be the first to know, she did also gave to his one question and requested some popsicles for her sore throat. 

She put her phone on silent, started watching a movie on her laptop and drifted off to sleep after about forty-five minutes. She wasn’t sure if it was the fever or the flu medication she had taken but she had the strangest dream, and that was a statement coming from the girl who lived with ghosts, and had been to the underworld before. It was nothing out of the ordinary at first, she was at school but instead of all the uniforms being white button-up shirts and black plaid skirts/ black pants they were an ugly green and yellow color. The details were fuzzy but the dream ended with her math teacher marrying the Sandworm and somehow Lydia was the maid of honor. It was very confusing but also entertaining so Lydia was slightly annoyed when she was woken up by a particular demon whom she had forgotten she had promised to hang out with the afternoon.

“Sorry BJ, I can’t really hang out today unless your idea of hanging out was sitting on the couch and watching TV while I pretty much sleep the whole day.”

“What the hell is wrong with you kid? You look like you saw a ghost.” BJ laughed very hard at his own joke and even though she was super out of it she still had it within her to fake gag at his lame attempt at comedy. 

“I’m sick.”

“Well, that’s pretty pathetic. I were you and I was still a living human I simply wouldn’t be incapacitated because of some bitch-ass virus Like RIP to you but I’m different.”

“You’re also already dead and didn’t you live like during the black plague?”

“And that sure as hell didn’t kill me. It would take a lot more so some dumb virus to take me now.”

“I think the plague was bacterial,” Lydia replied, straining her voice to argue with him. Under no circumstances would she not argue with Beetlejuice. 

“Same difference,” he waved his hand dismissively, “Anyway since you aren’t going to be any fun today while you milk this fake illness I’m going to go bug the Maitland’s. And while you’re at it...can you tell that bastard cat of yours to stop staring at me? It gives me the creeps.”

“Don’t be a jerk, Kraken loves you!” Lydia snapped defensively, pulling her cat up and presenting it to BJ, “She’s just a baby…”

“Look, there’s only room for one bastard in this house and that role is already taken.” BJ glared once more at the cat who seemed utterly indifferent to the presence of the demon. He walked through Lydia’s door but just to be a prick when he was outside of it he opened it partway and flipped her off. Grumbling Lydia got up to shut the door, hoping she’d be able to fall asleep again. She couldn’t, her cough was getting worse and it was making it impossible to lay down comfortably without feeling like she couldn’t breathe. She had to compromise and sit up in bed with her pillows stacked up behind her. She watched the clock with an almost obsession counting down the minutes before she could take another dose of the cough medicine and get some kind of relief from the symptoms. By the evening it felt as though she had been hit by a bus. Her muscles ached, she could hardly keep her eyes open, and her whole body felt like it was on fire. Barbara had tried to make her something for lunch but she could only manage a few bites before pushing the rest of it away, even the smell making her feel like she was going to throw up. 

“Maybe you should see a doctor when your dad gets home.” Adam suggested, “Not much they can do for the flu but maybe the can give you something stronger for your cough just so you can get some sleep tonight.”

“I’ll be fine!” Lydia snapped a little too harshly, “I’ll be fine, it’s just the flu. I don’t need to go to the doctor.” Adam backed off and left Lydia alone in her room. She couldn’t stop shivering even though she was boiling under the blankets. Her teeth clattered against each other and she felt a dizzying pressure building up in her forehead and sinuses. The hours in the day seemed to drag on with cruelty, she tried to distract herself with videos on her phone but she couldn’t keep focused on them long enough. She wanted to sleep but every time she was about to drift she would need to cough or her stomach would get upset, or her head would start pounding. She would alternate between her bedroom and the attic but nothing was comfortable. By the time her father and Delia got home from work Lydia was huddled out on the couch, her knees tucked into her chest and she was muttering feverishly in her half-awake half-asleep daze.

Charles rushed over to Lydia and his heart sank down to his stomach as images of Emily flashed through his head. He felt Lydia’s forehead and quickly grabbed the thermometer to check her temperature. He was devastated to read out that Lydia had a temperature of one hundred and three. Instantly fearing the worst he shook Lydia awake and told her that they were going to the hospital.

“Wait, what?” Lydia mumbled, still not completely aware

“The hospital, you’re burning up. You look like you’re about to faint, come on get your coat and shoes on. Can you walk?”

“Can I wh-? What are you talking about, of course, I can walk. Dad for god sake I have the flu. I feel like crap but I am not dying!” Charles tensed at those words and Lydia glared at him, shakily standing up with the blanket still draped around her shoulders

“Lydia, you’re not making sense. Please, just for me. Can we just please go to the hospital, I’m worried about you.”

“Dad you’re being ridiculous right now! You’re always worried about me!”

“I’m your father! It is my job to worry about you, now can you please get in the car so I can take you.” He was begging her at that point, he didn’t know what overcame him and Lydia wasn’t sure why she was so opposed. She felt awful, a fever at high was not a good thing, she logically knew that there was nothing wrong with going to a doctor but some part of her was shouting at her not to. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she didn’t understand why, she wasn’t upset she was annoyed. She was annoyed at him for being so overbearing. Charles noticed this and went over to her, she slumped into his arms just taking in the much-needed hug. Lydia just kept repeating that she didn’t want to go to the hospital, and he nodded, “Okay, okay no hospital alright? But can we please go to the doctor or the urgent care? Honey, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

After a brief and silent car ride Lydia was sitting in the urgent care waiting room with a mask over her mouth and nose to keep her from contaminating anybody else in the waiting room. It was already dark outside and Lydia leaned up against her father’s shoulder while they waited to be called back. She stared blankly at the wall trying to ignore the fact he was staring at her, even though we was pretending to scroll through his phone. He had one arm wrapped around her, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly and while she wanted to be stubborn and pull away she really did find comfort in him holding her. He was never unaffectionate while she was growing up, he would give piggyback rides and carry her, and hug her but he was slightly more distant since her mother had died, any kind of affection she got from him was cherished, even if she wanted to be a sullen teenager. 

“Deetz?” the male nurse called out

Charles helped steady Lydia while they walked into the examination room. They took her temperature and Charles explained a list of symptoms after Lydia tried too but couldn’t speak as clearly as she was trying to. The nurse scribbled some notes down, swabbed the inside of Lydia’s mouth and said that the doctor would be in shortly

“Man they take you from one waiting room to another huh?” Charles tried to joke in an attempt to ease the tension. Lydia was having none of it and she kept her eyes down on her phone while she was ranting to Barbara about how annoyed at her father she was. Though Barbara quickly proved to not be the ideal ranting partner in this situation so she turned to BJ who she knew would always agree with her no matter was as long as he got to complain too. After another twenty minutes of waiting the doctor came in holding a sheet of paper in her hands, “Bad news, you definitely have the flu young lady. Luckily it looks like it’s a mild strain even though I know it sure doesn’t feel like it huh? I’m going to prescribe you something to help you with that cough and something to work on killing the infection. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Lydia was about to shake her head no when Charles interjected, “Are you sure it’s just the flu?”

“Pretty positive, flu swabs are fairly accurate why?”

“But you’re sure it’s not something else, like something I don't know..” “He wants to know if you think I have cancer.” Charles jolted his head and looked at Lydia with such disbelief that she had to scoff, “Don’t act so shocked dad, that’s what you want to know. You want to know if I have what mom had.” She turned her attention back to the doctor and in her strained and scratchy voice, she said, “My mom she had non-Hodgkins lymphoma and apparently she started out with just flu symptoms too, she died. He’s worried that I’m going to die too, so can you just tell me if I do or don’t have cancer?”

Stunned the doctor fumbled a response, “Mr. Deetz Lydia has the flu. I am truly sorry for your loss and while I cannot say for absolute certain without doing blood tests I am fairly confident that Lydia simply has the flu. She doesn’t have any of the other tell-tale symptoms of the condition that your wife had. Now, do you have any other questions?”

“Yeah can I go home now?” Lydia demanded

The whole ride back home Lydia sat with her arms crossed and her head leaned against the car window. Her father wouldn’t talk to her, she wouldn’t talk to him. It was obvious to everybody else that something happened between them the minute they walked in the door. Lydia instantly went towards the stairs but Charles went after her, insisting that they need to talk. She waved her hand and slammed her door shut, complaining that she didn’t feel good and wanted to go to bed. She didn’t lock the door though, she knew it made everybody in the house angry if she locked the door when they were fighting. They respected not to come in if she didn’t invite them, but the rule was not door locking. She curled back up on her bed, cuddling with a chatty Kraken who was already lounging on her mattress. Within thirty seconds there was a knock at her door, and she threw her pillow at it in response.

“Lydia we need to talk about this, we need to talk about what you said at the doctor today.”

“What I said?” She laughed shaking her head, “Just come in dad, I know you’re not going to go away until you do and I feel like shit and want to go to bed so let’s get this over with.”

Charles cautiously opened the door and sat down on the edge of Lydia’s bed, mindful of the collection of tissues and bottles accumulating throughout the room. Having felt better since taking the medication the doctor prescribed she sat up in her bed and looked at her dad, waiting for him to scold her for behaving like a child in the doctors. She wouldn’t deny it, she acted very immaturely but she was so sick of how he was treating her that day. 

“Can we talk about it?” she questioned, “That’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

“I wanted to say I was sorry, Lydia. I know that I probably made things a lot worse for you. I know you aren’t feeling good and I didn’t mean to scare you with the whole...anyway it doesn’t matter the details. I shouldn’t have overreacted when you told me it was the flu, I trust you to know your body. I just don’t know what came over me, seeing you looking so sick and pale, it had me terrified. I just couldn’t imagine losing you too.”

“Dad I’m okay.” she tried to explain, “I’m fine.”

“I just, I don’t understand why you got so worried when I suggested you go to the hospital, you had a really high fever. Lydia, I understand that our relationship is going to require a certain give and take but when it comes to safety I think we need to make some more compromises. I was probably jumping to conclusions when I thought the worst but even the nurse was concerned when he saw how high it was, we should have gone to the hospital.”

“I didn’t want to go to the hospital.” 

“But I don’t understand why.”

“Yes, you do! And it kills me that you can’t understand it, you think it scares you when you see me getting sick and having the same symptoms mom did, imagine how I feel! I am terrified any time I get a cold or I have a stomach bug or even a bad headache because I worry that the same thing that happened to mom is gonna happen to me. I know there’s a genetic link, it’s not a high one but it scares me too dad but the thing is you’re supposed to be the calm one. You’re supposed to be the one convincing me it’s just the flu and that I’ll be okay in a few days, I shouldn’t have to convince not only me but my father too. Any time I’m sick I dread telling you because I know exaclty how you’re going to react. That’s not good dad! It’s making me afraid to come to you and god forbid I do get sick like that how long am I going to unintentionally ignore the symptoms because I’m afraid to tell you! I don’t want to go to the hospital dad because I’m afraid I might not come back, and I know that’s crazy. I know I’m being dramatic but that’s what happened with mom. She was fine one day and the next day you’re driving me to the hospital and she tells me she has maybe a few weeks to live? Can’t you get why I might not like hospitals so much anymore?” Lydia was trembling slightly now weak from the flu and the medication she was on, “There’s a line in the sand dad, there has to be because the worst part about being sick right now is that you looking at me like you might blink and I’ll be dead. Do you no understand how stressful that is?”

He bowed his head, “Lydia I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you but it’s been so hard since Emily died to not go right to the worst-case scenario.”

“And I do the exact same thing, but the difference dad is that I’m your kid. I need you to have a level head about this, and I don’t mean to just attack you because you all kind of do it. You all smother me with attention when I’m sick or hurt, I love you all but it’s suffocating sometimes when all I need is to stay in bed and take some Tylenol.”

“I’m sorry, I’m going to try harder to be better about it, alright? I promise, but I need you to promise me that you won’t hide things from me. Your mom tried to mask the signs, tell me she was okay, and not that it would have saved her but you can’t lie to me alright? We’re in this together, okay?”

Lydia nodded and hugged her father, rubbing at her eyes both in fatigue and in an attempt to clear away the tears welling up in her eyes. For the rest of the night, she and Charles sat in the living room wrapped in blankets, watching reruns of old movies on the television. Lydia burrowed her head the crook of his arms and eventually dozed off into the first peaceful sleep she managed to get that day. Though he was incredibly uncomfortable in that position he just relished in the closeness he felt in that moment. He couldn’t help but to remember when Lydia was small and he and Emily would spend hours trying to soothe the fussy baby, both of them completely exhausted when she would finally fall asleep but neither of them able to look away from the tiny human they had created. She was so grown up now, so funny and intelligent, wise beyond her years, but despite all of that when he looked down at his sleeping daughter’s face he could still see that little baby he cradled all those years ago. 

[1gm]

ok so ive been watching the corona numbers on this website on and off for the past month almost every day and like. seeing the numbers go up so much recently has just been insane. i remember when there was only china above 1k. the exponential growth is fearsome to see

looking at the us having 35k numbers wise now and knowing with the shortage and denial of tests left and right in this shit healthcare system, along with the inhumane working conditions of many companies... just fills me with unease... and i agree with everyone else and am pissed off as fuck that asymptomatic famous people can get tests just like that! i cant do that even though i literally just travelled home from the uk during the travel ban (and limiting the tests to international travellers for so long already capped the us response anyways)

i checked my local news and saw they ran out of tests the day i got home, after doing drive thru testing for only two days. and they are rationing them, giving them only to people above 60 with two or more symptoms now (were already doing that before kind of). emailed my doctor and she confirmed it for me too that i would not receive a test as i am now (not that i have any symptoms anyways but like this thing is everywhere and i care about my family). i wish the us would accept world health organization aid in regards to the tests

my family is in 14 day quarantine with me. preferably longer if i have anything to say about it, given how fast its spreading everywhere and how cavalier americans are about endangering other peoples health. my family cant return to their jobs anyways (which is an impending headache, ageism means my parents might have trouble when the economy is recovering, not to mention collecting unemployment can only go on so long. assuming they dont get corona and have their lungs permanently fucked up to where theyre disabled and cant work). im also nervous about my own job prospects in the next year, and am wondering if im going to be able to get a job outside of this country like ive dreamed of since i was in high school (at least my graduation looks like itll be fine).

so many other people are going through rough times spawned by the freefalling economy that the virus created... its fucking tragic, this mass uncertainty and suffering. besides seeing the videos of lines and lines of coffins in italy and all the videos coming out of swamped hospitals of rows and rows of people on respirators, you also hear of support phone lines being swamped. ,ore people feeling suicidal due to losing their jobs and not being able to pay their bills/provide for their family, domestic violence cases going up with people trapped in their homes with their families who are also facing these extreme stressors. a world in crisis

everyone having all the things they care about cancelled puts a major gloom over everything... and i do personally believe it is important to find happiness in what you can during these times (given the limited state of society) so that your mental state doesnt implode, but that happiness shouldnt be selfish, shouldnt doom other people. people flouting safety regulations and going out enjoying themselves as if this were a healthy vacation is frustrating because the underlying fabric of society (medical and funeral services, the supply chain) being unable to cope with increased death rates is the whole reason we are all being told to limit interactions as much as possible... my heart goes out to all the essential services workers right now. them getting infected and having to quarantine etc as they get infected by the ever increasing number of cases (both symptomatic and asymptomatic) just means that the jobs that hold together human society as we know it currently will struggle further as people take time to recover or straight up die due to lack of medical services. seriously, i wish people being irresponsible would understand the gravity of this whole thing and understand that each and every person has a role to play in saving lives (and that it is literally in their own self interest to do so so that their own life and the lives of those they value arent fucked over because this thing is so far reaching)

[caps-lockdown]

Operation: Man Flu

Alright guys here it is the first part of my new series! I thought of this awhile ago but my life has been absolutely bonkers lately and I didn’t have a chance to get started on it til now! I hope ya’ll enjoy this insane and (hopefully funny) romp I’ve come up with.

Tagging @kaytizzle and @cuffski for now, let me know in the comments if you would like to be tagged for future parts!

Summary: As a hacker nobody agent of S.H.I.E.L.D you get roped into what might possibly be your worst nightmare come to life. Will you survive the long weekend? Will you have a chance to get closer to a certain reserved Captain during this extremely stressful (and hilarious) situation?

Pairings: Steve x Shield Agent Female Reader!

Words: 3,397

Ratings/Warnings: I’m going to put hard R here for the whole thing because there’s going to be cussing, mentions of sickness, alcohol consumption, physical fights, mental breakdowns. Jealousy, love triangles (sort of), angst, drama, and lots of crude humor. Just strap in.

Also no Beta so my mistakes are my only thing to claim, I don’t own any characters either, with the exception of the reader, a doctor, and some random characters here and there.

It is in Y/N (Your Name) L/N (Last Name) format. Enjoy!

 Part One

“Y/N I need more water!”

“Y/N my eyes hurt!”

“Y/N can you tell Bucky and Tony to shut the hell up? I’m trying to sleep off this headache!”

“Shut up Wilson!”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, nostrils flaring, you released a slow and irritated breath. The shouting was coming from the makeshift quarantine section in the Tower. Never in a million years would you be able to guess that this was going to be your job at some point. In fact, you would have laughed in anyone’s face if they told you that at some point in your life you would be stuck in Stark Tower taking care of a bunch of sick and over dramatic man children. This was supposed to be your weekend in. You were supposed to be comfy and cozy surrounded by happy things, not a bunch of sick cry babies. You were so getting a raise when all of this was over.

You looked to the ceiling praying to anyone upstairs for just a small moment of peace. The moment of peace could come in the form of a giant mallet to knock all of the whiny men in the next room unconscious. Perhaps a dart gun with Nyquil loaded ammunition? Anything to help you cope with being stuck with this lot of ill idiots for the next 48 hours. Why of all people did it have to be you? You were not someone that saw The Avengers in close quarters, you were sort of work friends, but you never thought your friendship would be put to the test quite like this. Who were they to ask this of you anyway? It’s not like you have any medical experience. Hell you get squeamish just thinking about blood. You rarely got sick. You cried watching Grey’s anatomy for cripes’ sake! You must have been cursed by some otherworldly power. Loki was messing with you. That had to be it. You were sure that had to be the reason behind this cruel and unusual punishment.

“Y/N BUCKY KEEPS STARING AT ME!”

“Well you keep sounding like you’re gonna puke Stark! And if you puke I puke! So don’t puke!”

“Damn I need a drink.” You uttered before squaring your shoulders and heading back into the fray. When did it all go to hell in a hand basket?

~~Friday Morning~~

0600

The crisp early autumn air made its way into your room from your half opened window. The birds chirping slowly woke you from your slumber as your eyes opened to take in the leaves changing colors on the trees outside. The smell of coffee starting to brew at your small desk invaded your senses and you smiled out to the rising sun in a good mood.

Your alarm clock went off which caused you to scream and nearly throw it out the window, groaning as you heard the rumble of the Quinjet touching down a few floors up. So much for a quiet, easy day. They were back early.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you hastily threw on your uniform and secured your hair up, reaching for your travel mug to hold your life juice as you sloshed it into the container and headed out the door.

Life hadn’t always been this fast paced for you. You were never a morning person, and even though it had been years that you have been with S.H.I.E.L.D, these caffeine fuelled mornings were something that never got easier with time. Being an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D just wasn’t a picnic for you most days, but you certainly had it better than some of the others in your line of work. You weren’t one of the people willing to put their life on the line out in the field. In fact it was the complete opposite. You were behind the scenes, knee deep in technology. Hacking files, constantly bypassing security, you name it. You never had to leave the comfort of your own country. It was hard work, but it was also your calling. It had been since you were a teenager in high school. It was a habit that got you caught several times breaking into the school security systems, changing when the bell would ring so you and your friends could get out a few minutes early. Especially during Geometry with Miss. Wilkins.

You had been given a scholarship to New York City College of Technology after you graduated high school and you packed your bags and moved from your small town in Ohio to the beautiful state of New York. After graduating in record time with high marks you were recruited by Agent Coulson to join S.H.I.E.L.D. You accepted without any hesitation (Along with constant reassurance to your always worried mother that you would not actually be in the field. Ever.)

After a few years, and more importantly the battle of New York, Nick Fury created a small unit specifically trained to work alongside The Avengers. It was truly amazing getting to move into the Tower, always being there in case of emergencies. Which there often were plenty of. You were under the command of Agent Keaton, your unit possessing a mere ten agents total. No one knew who you were, or what you did, except The Avengers and a small number of others. You were shadows, able to breach the toughest security, get what you needed, and get out without a trace. Or in most cases, get Earth’s Mightiest Heroes into places they previously didn’t have access to. Everyone called you “The Ghosts of Stark Tower”. The hours were sometimes long, missions often stressful, but it suited you just fine. One of the many upsides was knowing that you were making a difference in this messed up world.

The down side was these way too early mornings. At least it was Friday and you could look forward to the three day holiday weekend ahead of you. It was Labor Day weekend which meant that after today you wouldn’t have to return to work until the following Tuesday, unless an earth shattering catastrophe happened. Trudging your way down the hallways your mind drifted to the future that awaited you at 1800 hours. All you had planned was a giant fort of blankets and pillows to call sanctuary as you caught up on the six books that sat unloved in a box by your bed. They were feeling extremely neglected since you had gotten most of them as birthday gifts, which had been some time ago now.

Stepping into the elevator you let out a wistful sigh as it began to climb the few floors leading to the floor that held the landing pad for the Quinjet. Smiling to yourself as you day dreamed about being nestled in a blanket cocoon and not seeing a soul for 72 hours, you couldn’t stop in time and ran smack into Sam Wilson as you exited the elevator and took a sharp turn. His back of toned muscles acted as a wall as it threw you backwards and onto the floor with a loud and ungraceful oomfph.

“Shit. Sorry Y/N. My head isn’t on straight today.” He offered a hand to help you up which you gladly took, pulling yourself up and pretending to brush yourself off.

“It’s fine Sam. Ya miss Bucky that much?”

“Ha. Ha. Ya I missed him like a hole in the head.” You snickered as the two of you made your way down the hall together.

Sam Wilson and you went way back. Back to before you were working (usually) with the Avengers. Back when you were just starting out and he wasn’t cleared for all the “fun” missions, as he called it. Those were the days when you trained together, ate together. Hell you even shared a bed together. It was only once, and nothing romantic happened, but you two only got closer because of it. You didn’t know where you would be without him in your life. He always seemed to know what to say to make you feel better after a hard day, and he always had you laughing. It usually bummed you out when he went along for missions, so you were extra thankful he opted to stay behind this past week when they announced a new mission would take place. It had been nice spending time with each other outside of work hours, catching up, shooting the breeze.

He was one of the only people here that seemed to see you for everything that you were. With the exception of today of course.

“Any issues with the mission? Why are they back two days early?”

Sam raised an eyebrow as you reached the double doors that lead outside to the landing pad.

“Now how did you know they were supposed to be back in two days? That was classified information L/N.” You quickly shot your eyes to the ground, releasing a heavy sigh.

“I…I may have hacked into the mission details…”

The look Sam gave you made you bite your lower lip in embarrassment before he merely shook his head in response.

“Damn Y/N, you should have come with a warning label. If you missed Steve that much you could have just called him.” You swatted his arm as he pushed the door open for you, the fresh air hitting you in the face and causing your eyes to water.

Sam had known about your small crush on Steve Rogers, otherwise known to many as Captain America, since the first time you had met the larger than life super soldier. He pegged you as a giddy school girl from the gate and you found yourself threatening his life on a weekly basis to keep his mouth shut about the whole thing. Steve and you had a professional work related friendship, nothing more. It’s not like what you and Sam had, and you had come to accept that it never would be that. Or more, no matter how often you caught yourself thinking about it.

“Why would I miss Steve Rogers when Sam Wilson has been here to keep me company?” You batted your eyelashes at him, causing the man to chuckle as you neared the group of fellow agents that were gathered around the jet.

“Nice try slick, but I’m still telling Tony you broke into the mission files. Again.”

You pouted at him but he only clicked his tongue at you.

“I swear Tony just needs to give you a raise already and put you in charge of that tech stuff here. His old ass mind is clearly slipping.”

“You suck Wilson. I was only worried.”

“Worried ol’ Blue eyes was gonna take a dirt nap? Come on Y/N,  he’s stronger than that.”

“Actually I was worried for Tony and his,” you made air quotations “Old ass mind”

You and Sam’s laughter was quickly silenced as the jet ramp lowered and you watched Steve Rogers exit, a deathly pale Tony leaning on him as they disembarked.

“Shit. He looks worse than normal. Pepper is gonna pitch a fit when she sees him.” Sam remarked, the team headed towards you.

Your eyes couldn’t help but dance across the Team’s faces. They all looked beat. Thor and Bruce seemed deep in conversation, their hushed voices angrily biting at each other. Clint kept quiet, focusing his vision forward and not looking at anyone. You noticed Nat and Wanda were missing, only for a moment before you realized they were on a separate mission elsewhere. They were slated to come back sometime next week.

Your vision drifted over to Tony, taking in his sickly appearance. The color was drained from his face, the area around his eyes dark and his body too weak to walk very far. Bucky walked to his left, his worried expression evident as they neared you and Sam through the crowd.

You quickly snapped your line of sight to Captain Rogers, your pulse picking up just a little at the sight of him. His uniform was still in really good shape considering how ragged he was looking. Apparently he had forgotten his razor or something because his facial hair had grown a considerable amount since they had been gone. His strong jaw was set tightly, his lips in a thin line while his large intimidating frame effortlessly helped the injured billionaire along.

“Why do I have a feeling my weekend plans just got cancelled?” You grumbled, clearing a path for the Captain as the rest of the team followed behind him, none of them sparing you a look. You were used to it by now.

“Wilson, debrief. Now.” Rogers’ voice boomed with authority and you couldn’t help but grimace in Wilson’s direction.

“Sorry Sam, tough luck.”

“L/N you too.”

Jumping at the acknowledgement you cast a worried glance to Sam who merely shrugged before picking up his pace to catch up to the group headed into the building. That could not be good at all. You followed after him, struggling to keep your mind calm with all the questions currently swimming in it. It didn’t take you long to reach the small conference room, paramedics cutting off your journey about halfway to take Tony into the medical bay to run tests.

You quickly took a seat next to Sam, everyone at the table looking to Steve for answers you were fairly certain he didn’t have. It didn’t mean you couldn’t admire his tall, gorgeous body though as he stood in front of all of you. Nope, you’d drink in the sight of him any day and any time you could. It wasn’t illegal to look after all, even if most of the time he saw right through you. Just like a ghost.

“Look L/N, I’m going to give you the extremely short version,” Steve started, blue eyes staring into yours and you could only bring yourself to nod. His voice was hard, short, he was clearly on edge with worry.

“Might as well shorten it even more Rogers, L/N here already hacked the mission files. She knows the mission.”

You could only give Sam a “What the hell?” look, trying not to let the disappointed sigh that came from Steve’s lips sink into your stomach like a boulder of guilt.

“As much as I want to be angry with you L/N, I need to know how much you know. It might help speed things up so we can get to work faster.”

All eyes seemed to shift to you as you began to fidget with the edge of the table, training your eyes to stay focused on the smooth wood surface as you recalled the details you briefly scanned last week.

“You were all sent to Tal-q’eiek to retrieve an energy source for another planet…Mon…mon something..who’s current environmental health is unstable. The planet’s self defense measures made most of the planet toxic to keep predators from other neighboring worlds away.” You started, looking up at the people around the table as they all nodded in agreement.

“ You were made special suits and would split up into teams to search the planet for the energy source. You were sent out of your element considering Danvers was unavailable to join you, as well as Quill and his team being currently MIA as well.” Taking a deep breath you couldn’t help but notice the smallest of smiles on Steve’s face as you finished divulging what you knew.

“Correct L/W, I’m always impressed by your sharp memory.” Steve complimented you and you had to grasp the chair to make sure you wouldn’t fall out of it. It was the first and so far only time Captain Rogers had made a positive comment in your direction. Usually he was far too busy to pay you or any of the other Ghosts of Stark Tower any mind. Not that you could blame him. If you were being honest, you didn’t even think he knew your first name for the first two years you worked together.

“So based on your knowledge, what conclusion can you come to on your own?” Thor pried, your gaze moving to catch his.

“ My assumption is that Tony was simply  in the wrong place at the wrong time and managed to inhale some of the toxic air of the planet, and that’s why you had to come back early. Because he’s showing symptoms of a sickness and you didn’t know what to do.”

“Two for two L/W, well done.”You felt a swell of undeserving pride at Steve’s words, wondering if this was to be your Christmas gift or something. Two compliments in one day? Within minutes of each other? You most certainly weren’t complaining but it did make you a bit nervous, especially when those beautiful blue eyes weren’t leaving yours.

“So now what? We just wait for the doctors to come back and tell us Tony is going to be ok?” Sam’s voice broke you out of your trance, Steve clearing his throat and Thor nodding in agreement.

“Unfortunate, but until we know more there isn’t anything to be done.” The other blonde’s deep voice boomed and you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread.

“I don’t understand why I was needed here…” You trailed off, Bruce chuckling at your statement causing you to blush with embarrassment.

“You never know when we may need a Ghost on our side Y/N.” Bucky smiled at you, giving you a small wink.

“Yea besides,” Clint continued, “We actually like you. You’re not some stuck up, loud mouthed, cocky know it all like some of the others.”

“You shouldn’t talk about Tony like that, after all he’s the one sick right now.”

Your comment earned you a chorus of laughter.

“I’m gonna put that in Stark’s Christmas card this year.” Sam got out in between laughs, patting you on the back.

“That’s my Y/N, always one with the fast quips.”

His statement caused you to beam in response, allowing yourself to be grabbed in a small side hug. The expression on Steve’s face was a bit puzzling to you as you looked at him, but no sooner had it appeared, it was gone.

What seemed to be hours passed, but your eyes shot up at the sound of one of the doctors on standby walking into the conference room, her HASMAT suit creating a hideous scratching noise against the floor as she moved. You recognized her as Doctor Kelly Hooper, she had been working for Stark for years. She was a short and stout woman, with dark blonde hair that was always up in a tight bun on top of her head.

“What’s the diagnosis Doctor?” Clint tried, his voice humorless despite the poor attempt at a joke.

“Firstly, you should know that Mister Stark is going to be alright.”

The entire table collectively sighed in relief at the Doctor’s news, a huge weight seemingly being lifted off of everyone’s shoulders. You and Tony didn’t always see eye to eye on things, but you still respected the hell out him, and definitely didn’t want him dying anytime soon.

“However, there is some bad news.” The older woman continued, turning her attention to Steve.

“He’s going to be sick the next forty eight to seventy two hours, and will need constant care. He’s going to experience the worst equivalent of the flu we’ve seen in years. Fever, vomiting, dehydration, chills, extreme pain, and maybe even hallucinations. What’s also troublesome is we don’t have the proper staff to take care of him, as most of the day and night crew have left for holiday, and we can’t risk taking him to a hospital where it might spread.”

“Got it, can it get any worse than babysitting a sick Tony?” Bucky groaned out, his head hitting the table.

“Actually it can Mister Barnes. I’m afraid the illness he has contracted from the foreign planet is very peculiar in the fact that it only seems to attack beings with the combination of XY chromosomes.”

“Doc, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Bucky suddenly looked up at Doctor Hooper, who had now locked eyes with the winter solider before nodding her head.

“That’s right Mister Barnes, any male who has come within contact with Mister Stark within the last twenty four hours has a seventy five to eighty five percent chance of falling ill as well.”

[rachelroams]

I HAD COVID-19. THIS WAS MY EXPERIENCE.

Important note: my story is just one story. There are many people experiencing coronavirus, and each one of those narratives is valuable.

And, while each of our stories may provide a window into an individual experience, together—as compiled by experts—those stories allow for vetted, reliable data.

Please look to the tried-and-tested knowledge from medical professionals as you navigate this health crisis.

And remember: I’m just a regular person who had an experience and wanted to invite you into the fold.

***

THE BEGINNING

That photo was shot four days before my symptoms began. It was March 10th, and I was on assignment in South Carolina. I had just wrapped a public speaking engagement in NYC. The U.S. was still figuring out how seriously to take the Covid-19 threat, so storefronts, mass transit, and most of the world as we knew it was still open for business.

By March 12th, as I traveled home to the West Coast, Trump had announced a travel ban on flights from Europe, and things were starting to get serious in the States. I made a plan to self-quarantine for 14 days so that any potential germs I might have brought back from NYC didn’t get passed on to others.

THE ONSET

On March 14th, I noticed I had a light headache and muscle aches. I attributed them to post-travel fatigue and went on with my day. Within a few days, however, my body aches grew notably worse, I was constantly exhausted, and I was starting to have trouble sleeping.

By the 18th, my body was in full decline, and the pile-on of symptoms got scary fast. I had the symptoms that most of the news stories list—fever, aches, cough—plus a whole bunch more. (A full list of symptoms is in the next section.)

Between March 18-25, I fell into the void that is Covid-19. I ran a 102-degree fever for seven days. I had chills. Shivering. Fever dreams that looped, and looped, and looped again. Body aches severe enough that extra-strength acetaminophen did nothing lessen them.

One day somewhere in the middle of that time frame, a cough came on so strong and fast that I had to avoid talking, sitting up, or even moving. Those actions agitated the coughing to an extreme. My body became fatigued enough that I eventually couldn’t stand, walk, or even sit up for longer than a minute or two at a time. I wanted to sleep constantly, but never got past 4-5 hours without waking up in need of more pain or cough medication.

THE SYMPTOMS  

Here’s the full list of symptoms I experienced. They’re not all pretty, but they were all present.

Fever Cough Body aches Headaches Exhaustion Chills Night sweats Fever dreams Diarrhea Loss of appetite Clammy skin Red ring around eyes Loss of sense of smell Inability to sit up, stand, or walk Sensation that joints weren’t connected Sensation that knee caps were going to slide off my legs

(Yes, those last two are strange. Yes, they were part of my experience.)

THE TEST

My symptoms were notable enough that on March 19th, my husband called Urgent Care and asked what they would advise we do. After an interview about my condition and travel history, nursing staff said we should come in that afternoon.

At the staff’s instruction, my husband Todd put on a mask and gloves, and entered the hospital to register me as a patient. I was asked to stay in the car so that I didn’t come into contact with more people than necessary. After Todd returned to the car, a nurse called my cell phone and interviewed me about my symptoms and recent travel history. Based on my answers, we were waved through to the drive-through testing tent.

Nurses in gowns, face shields, masks and gloves approached the car and asked me to remove my mask. They took my temperature, listened to my lungs, confirmed my symptoms, and called a doctor to the tent. While the doctor ran through my list of my symptoms, triple-checking what we had described to the nursing staff, he inquired about my travel history. When I listed New York, he paused, turned away from us, and yelled, “We’re gonna need a Covid test here! This one’s been to New York.”

First, I was given a conventional flu test, and informed that it would be processed within the next few hours. If it came back positive, the hospital would assume I had the flu. If it came back negative, they would assume it was coronavirus and ship my Covid test out for processing.

The Covid-19 test was… uncomfortable. To test a person, medical staff inserts a 6-inch swab deep into the nasal cavity until it reaches the nasopharynx/upper throat, rotating it several times over the course of 10-15 seconds to gather a sufficient sample, and sometimes repeating the procedure with a new swab in the second nasal cavity. Normally fairly stoic, I had to be reminded to breathe during this process, wiping tears away as the doctor dipped my swab into a sealed pouch and passed it to the nurse.

The image below shows the handout I received following my test.

THE RESULTS

Within a few hours of our drive-through experience, we received a call from Urgent Care informing us that my flu test had come back negative. Next, they would be sending out my Covid-19 for processing. We were told that we would have to wait 5-10 days for results. The national average for results turnaround was five days at the time of testing (March 19).

In the meantime, we were instructed to stay home and treat the symptoms ourselves. The only exception would be if I started experiencing extreme shortness of breath (as per the nurses: “[feeling like I had run a marathon while sitting still, or feeling like I was suffocating]”), at which point we were to return to the hospital seeking intensive care. Barring that, we were to continue self-quarantine until both my husband and I were symptom-free for at least 72 hours. (Thankfully, Todd never developed symptoms.)

Over the next two weeks, we had a series of follow-up calls with nursing staff. On March 25th, I was told my test had been sent from Oregon to a North Carolina LabCorp facility, where it was “in process.” At that point, I was informed it would be closer to 12 days before I would receive results due to an inundation of tests needing processing at East Coast facilities.

Over the next couple calls, however, it became clear something strange was happening. On call two, my test was no longer showing “in process” in the lab records, but it was also not marked “complete,” which is the next stage. On call three, the nurse said my test notes now read “future,” indicating the swab had not begun processing, even though we were nearly two weeks past my test date.

THE MISSING TEST

On April 1st, 13 days after testing, the test was suddenly, inexplicably, not in the system. It was not listed in North Carolina. It was not listed in Oregon. It was not listed anywhere.

That day, I received a call from the Head of Nursing at Urgent Care. He informed me that I would not be receiving my Covid-19 test results… ever. He conferred, “[The staff here feels confident you had Covid-19, based your on symptoms and recent travel history. That’s why we gave you a Covid test. Unfortunately, there’s no way for us to confirm your positive results, because we don’t know where your swab went. We can no longer located it in any lab’s computer system.]” He continued, “[Unfortunately, this has happened a number of times now, with a number of different patients. Swabs have gone missing, and we don’t know why. At this point, I can say with confidence that we will never find those tests.]”

Somehow, between my Covid-19 test on March 19 and the swab’s transit to a LabCorp facility, my test disappeared, along with a number of others. In a nation with an already-limited number of tests, an unknown number of them are now afloat, unprocessed, and uncalculated in the national totals.

THE HEREAFTER

Regardless of official results, I believe I can safely say I’m on the mend from coronavirus. It has been exactly four weeks since the onset of symptoms, and I’m feeling mostly human again. While I still need to sleep 10-12 hours a day as my body repairs (my husband says I’m “sleeping like a college student”), I’m finally able to walk farther than the distance between the living room and bathroom. In fact, I made it beyond the mailbox this week. All things considered, that’s a victory.

As I take each day as it comes, I’m thankful to the body I normally take for granted. The partner who supplied me with Gatorade, prepared me miso, and noted my temperature three times a day for two weeks. The community of friends and family who sent love notes, funny gifs, and encouragement as I faced the fire.

As I place my trust in the healing process, I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on life’s small pleasures. Who knew it could be so exciting to watch a daffodil bloom? To note a Cooper’s Hawk outside the window? To get a good night’s rest, play a board game, or walk the whole length of the driveway? Who even remembered, in this wildly busy world, what a gift it is to simply listen to the breeze?

As I look forward, I send gratitude to the people deemed essential workers, whose employment at hospitals, grocery stores, restaurants, and more, requires them to show up at the front lines daily to keep our society fed and functioning.

As I acknowledge the vast unknowing that all that of us face, I encourage everyone (yes—even YOU!) to stay home if you’re not an essential worker. To get to know not only the inside of whatever building you’re calling home, but also the inside of your mind, your heart, and the wide expanse of space that is Not Knowing. To ask yourself what you feel today—every day a new day for asking—and grant permission to yourself to experience whatever natural, beautiful, and challenging feelings this whirlwind may ask of you.

THE AMA (“ASK ME ANYTHING”)

Do you have questions about my experience? Please let me know in the comments below. I’ll do my best to provide an answer.

I’ve had friends ask what supplies to keep on hand in case they get sick, what mindset I adopted during the healing process, what shows I was watching on Netflix when I was down for the count… whatever you’re wondering, let me know.

Thank you, as always, for sharing this journey with me.

You are appreciated,

Rachel

[speeding-fox]

Rusty's Glitch Pt. 2

(Author's note: The "~~" signifies the next scene, while the "--" signifies changing perspectives, but the scene itself doesn't change.)

(Vite's perspective)

After everything I saw, the ruined scenery, the carnage left behind, how badly everyone was injured, my cousin being glitched, and one uncle knocked unconscious while another was about to be finished off by his own son. Seeing everything in the state it's in, I couldn't take it anymore!

"STOP!"

Without thinking, I ran over to Rusty, hugged him tightly, then bawled. I didn't care if I was going to get hurt more than I already was, I wanted this to end, I wanted my cousin back!

"V̸̪̣͚̙̲̪̖̖̳̍̆͊͐̑́͊i͈̞̳͕͓̋̎̀̂̌͗͝ͅt̶̛̰̮̲̳̩̙̦̙̰̏̋̇̈́̀̿̒̕͘͜e̶̳̰̠̦͎̤̰͖̍̋̐̽̊̔̑͘͢͝ͅ?̴̛̖͖̟̫̲͆̋̄̊̽͘͟͟͟!̬͍̮̭̖̮̯͐̑̍͊̉ L̵̛̝̞̦̼̤͉̲̘̫̊̐̀͟͠ě̛͚͕̟̬̰͖̮̑̈́̎͢͜ẗ̢̨͖̜̖̗́̃̋̀̓͟ g̡̢̳̤̭̦͙̑̒̊́̆̽̿̉̕ǫ͙̠͎̝̥̘̻͌̂͋̓́͐́͟͝ ỡ̷̡̢̡͔̙̜͖̏͑͌̑̿̈͟ͅf̫̬͚̟̤͚̗̩͐̈̌̈́́̊͌͟ m̗͔̼̬͉̣̅̂̏̏̃͜͡͞ë̼̲̖̥̲̺́̋̄̓͛͒̎̓̉̀!̬̗͚̩͚́̿̆̑͗"

I felt him try to struggle against my grip, but I hugged even tighter. "I'm not going to let go, Rusty!"

"L̷͕̝͙͉̺̐̀̋̾͑́́̆̚͘ë̙͍̠̖̓́͒̓͒̈̕̕͟͞t̸̥̺̯̺̞͔͛̏̿̊̕͜ g̶̢̙̺̙̰̘͖̬̬͆̍̀͂̕͠͠ö̴̢̧͉͍̟͙̭̳̜́̀̓̊̐̍͆̚͞ ơ̴̢̧̰̭̟̪̺̙̑̐̃̓̔̎͋͑̐͜f̶͎̻͙͇̯̪͎͊͊͒͌̽͛͞ m̵̡͉̰̺̟͗̆͑̀̅̂͘͜͡͠ȅ̸͉̞͖͙͚͌̅̍̀͋̆͜,̸̢̜͚̩̰͓̾̆́̀̃͋͢͠ ń̷͇̮̥̼̲̿͋̿̏̃̋̈͊͟ͅō̡̡̞̣̫̫̦͖̥͇̇̅͆̌̅̊͛w̯̼͕̲͙̗͆̇͂̿̂̊̇͂͜͠͠ͅ!̧̹̼̱͕̺͈̭̎̊̎́̂́̚͟͞͡ Ȋ̴̡̗͎͕̘͚̤̃̔̅̎̚ͅ d̸͔̩̬͚̮̤̲̝̤͙͒͗̓̂́͒͡͞ǫ̴͈̦̥̩̗̜̖͛̾̀͒͆͢͜ṅ̸̢̜̠̣̠̻̉̒͋̏͝'̨͉̦̲̮̭͆̈͋͆͋͘͜͝t̺̱̳̰̯͗̏̀͗͜͠ w̢̢̨̛͇͉̦̜͔̺̎͒͐́̄̏͋̎͘ͅà̼̝̜͖͕̟̝̓̂̒̃̾̂̾̀͟͠ņ̛̝̥̠͈͓̊͐̈́̽͊͘͟ͅt̴̟͇̲̝̑̔̆͋͛͜͞͝ t̸̖̰̭̪̮̟̻̝͈̎̄͆̎̀͘ͅo̸̢̟̺̰̰̖̾̋̇̕̕͠ h̛̘̫̖͚̰̣̲̅̐̒̚a̬̠̣͖͖͌̏̍͆͑͒v͎̤̫͓̞̯̟͒̂͗́͗͢͞e̸̻̪͈͚̟̊͒̆̏̎͑͢ ẗ̨͕̤̮͕͎̼́̾͆̐̓̕ͅŏ̵̢̧̜̥͔͖̝͙͂̏̈̐̑̀͗͟ h̢̜̰͈͉͔̰͌͒̐͗́͋̋̚͝ṷ̡̮̩̙̖́͆̊̐̈͟r̨̗̩͈̻̫̗̽̋͌͌͘͡t̶̜̫̹͙͛̀͆͆̒̐͛͑͛ͅ y̼̜͇̱͐̌͑͆̂̐͆̑̕͟o̷̧̳͖̖̲͒͌̀͛͢͞u͖̞̠̞̜͖̅̀̾̏͘͢͝͠!"

"Go ahead, hurt me, but I'm still not going to let go! No matter what you do to me, I will forgive you! Why? Because it's what families' do!" I close my eyes tightly as I braced for the possible explosion.

"I LOVE YOU, COUSIN RUSTY! PLEASE! PLEASE SNAP OUT OF THIS! PLEASE COME BACK!"

--

(Rusty's perspective)

Threatening them isn't working, they're not going to let go.

With one drop of this bomb I hold in my hand, it could potentially do very serious damage, maybe even fatal. I could just end this right now, but...why can't I bring myself to do it? It felt something was holding me back, but...what was it?

Something about their speech just... wait, what's that feeling in my chest? It feels...warm, and comforting. I hated it, yet, I didn't try to push it away. How am I feeling this within my cold, glitched heart?

That wasn't the only thing I was feeling, I can feel my emotions, coming back one by one, especially guilt. Why is this happening? Is Vite doing this?

...No. I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. I don't want to hurt them! I will not hurt them!

Soon, my emotions and guilt became too much to bare, and I got a migraine. With how sharp it was, I closed my eyes tightly, and cried out, loudly. I felt my cousin let go of me and the bomb I was holding slip from my hand, but I didn't hear it make impact with the ground.

I dropped my whip as I grabbed ahold of my head and fell to my knees. This wasn't an ordinary headache, it felt like two parts of me were fighting for control, and the pain was very excruciating.

Ì̶̢̻͕̝̜͛͌̿̑̔͟͢ D̴̨̝̻͈̫̩͓̭͑̑̀́̊̈̄͝O̷̢̲̳̲̜̍̀̍́̏͘̕͜͠N̯̤̼͙͙̹̗͇̗͆̀͋͛͞'̛̮̳̥͚̣̾̃̇͋Ṫ̡̖̗̥̥̦̾̌́̉̏̚͝ Ņ̞̙̝̦̗͂̔͂̀̓È̤̥̘͙̫̋̓̀́̄͆͘E̷̮͚̣͖̫̩̟̾̒̽̆́͊̽D̸̛͖̩̰͓̣͚̃́̊́̿̐̅͞ H̤̘͚̱̠̒̐̋̍̂̒͂̀͘͢͢͞E̷̛͚̙͓͕͉̤̐͊̊̇͋̿͜͞L̸̛̼͙̻̠͇̊̀̋͐̐̋͐͊͘P̡̛͚̲͔͔̘̼̐̄̀͘.̢̜͇̬̘̠̮̓͐̔̀̓̈́̋̀̕͟͟͞ I̢̳̗͈͖̪͎̼̻̓̀͆̇̽̾͛ͅ ḑ̛̭͖̘̬̳̘̌͌͗̏̇͝͞͞ͅÖ̵̖̗̫̭̖͔́͛̍̌͑̾͑̄̀͜ņ̪̤̮̻̱͕̮̻̍͑́̇͑̓̚͡'̴̗̙̭͙̯̞̭̓́̋̇̓T̵̲͚̤̯̦̘͓̓̏̆̌̉̐́̂́͂ n̛͙̠͕̲̜͈̳͕͕̑̃̿͒͐̓͜Ę̨̝͓͔̙̇̓̎̀̂̊é̸̛̻͓̖͙̱̘͕̬̩̋͆̈́͋͊͐̎͜͡Ḑ̧̟͎͚̘̻̙̙̯́̾̈̑́̍͌̋ h̻͓͉̬̘̗̻̅̎̌̓̑͘͞͠E͇̩͓̫̼͚̫͂̇̔̉͘͜͞͠l̲̰͈̙̝̗̏̊́̓̈͟͠͝͞P̻̝̖̞͍̯͇̔́̄̓̑̓̅̉͂͋.̨̠̫̬̱̗̟̣̺͗̌̊̑̓̅̕͞͝ I̢̧̥̗̝̪͎̥̳͔̽́͆͂̽̉͡ ḑ̢͚͖̼̳̺̥͔͍̓̆̑̈́͒͑͐͋Ó̷͈͇̞̮̰̯̼̣̀́̓̆̓̐n̴̫̘̬͚͖̖̤͙̍̂͐̌̽'̢̮̰̤̜̬̉̀̈́͌̓̅͜͟T͔̞̭̪̰̱͗̈́́͗̌̂́ n̛̛̼̟̙̠̣͉͔̉̌̀͗̅̚eed help.

I...need help...

--

(Meanwhile)

(Vite's perspective)

When I heard him scream, I let go of him and backed away, fearing he was about to do one final attack. I felt my heart drop as I saw the bomb fall from his hand, but thankfully, Uncle Simon managed grab it just before it hit the ground, and he threw the bomb far enough where the explosion will not harm us. I kept my distance as I watched Rusty drop his whip and fall to his knees. When his screams started dying down, I slowly approached him, but I kept my guard up, then I heard his screams turn into soft sobs.

"R-Rusty?" I manage to utter admist my nervousness. I didn't know if he was going to lash out or not, then he turned to look at me, he had a trail of tears was going down his face, and the look he was giving me, it was a look of fear, genuine fear.

"V-Vitie..." He muttered softly, his voice didn't sound dark, it didn't have have that buzz or distortion with it either, it sounded like his normal voice, and he sounded very shaky. Not long after uttering my name, he hugged me tightly, and began to cry, hard.

Hearing how scared he was, and how he's crying, it broke my heart. I returned the hug, and cried with him. Despite everything that's happened, despite my emotional pain, I had to help him. He needs me.

"Vitie, I'm. I'm really s-scared." I gently rubbed his back to try to soothe him. "I know you are, but I'm here for you. I'll help you, and it will okay, Rusty." Sniffle. "It's going to be okay..."

After a few minutes, it seemed like I managed to calm him down, but we were both still hugging tightly, neither of us wanted to let go. Suddenly, I heard a whistle, and shortly after, Rusty yelped and jerked forward, almost making me fall over.

"Rusty, what was that?" I asked softly, but he didn't give me a response. I began to feel his grip on me loosen. "Rusty?" He still didn't answer me, then I felt him lose his grip completely and he fell to his side, out cold.

"Rusty?!" I tried to shake him awake while still calling out to him. "Rusty!" "Don't worry, he's just knocked out."

I glance over to uncle Simon when I heard his voice, he had a tube in one hand, then lowered it before standing up. "Uncle Simon?"

He limped over to us, knelt down near Rusty, pulled a dart from his back, and put it back into the tube. "I'm sorry son, but it had to be done." "Why did you use a dart on him?"

He picks up Rusty's whip and put it onto his belt, then put a hand on Rusty's arm and glanced up at me. "I didn't want to, but I had to. He left me no choice." "But, I managed to calm him down." "You may have, I've heard everything, but inevitably, his glitch would overtake him again, Vite. I couldn't risk him doing anymore damage, and possibly having him get away. It was a risk we couldn't take. I hope you understand that."

He's right... even if I did calm him down, he's still glitched, and inevitably, he will lose control again, and who knows what could happen if his glitch took over once again... I glance down at my cousin, whom is out like a light, and gently stroked his hair. "I do..."

After a moment of slience, Simon called my name. "Vite." I look up at my uncle. "I'll take care of Rusty. Please...go check if Black is alright..."

Oh shoot. I was so preoccupied helping Rusty that I forgot uncle Black needed help too! I look to where Black was, back to Simon, quickly nod, before getting up and rushed over to him.

When I got to him, I kneel down and try to shake him awake. "Uncle Black! Uncle Black! Can you hear me? Please wake up!"

No good, the impact he made after being blown up by Rusty's previous bomb must've knocked him unconscious, but thankfully, he was still breathing. He's going to be alright.

"Thank goodness..." I let out softly. I look to where uncle Simon is, he was carrying Rusty in arms while looking back at me.

"Uncle Black is okay, Uncle Simon! He's unconscious and injured, but he's going to be okay!" I heard him let out a sigh of relief. "That's a big relief..." I heard Simon mutter.

"Vite, I'm going to need you to help carry him to the ship." "I'll try, but uncle Simon, aren't you injured as well?" "I am, but I can manage." Normally, I would object and offer to help him, but knowing my uncle, he's stubborn, and there is no point in trying to argue with him once he's set on something, plus, I don't think I'll be able to carry two Bombers.

"Okay then." Carefully, I lifted up uncle Black, and hoisted his arm over my shoulder and helped his body up, then uncle Simon and I began making our way back to the ship.

During the walk there, I had so many questions that couldn't be answered right away; Is Pouple doing okay? I hope she's alright and is getting the help she needs. Uncle Black, I know he'll be okay, but when will he wake up? Will he even remember everything that happened? And Rusty...will he be able to recover from this..?

"U-Uncle Simon. Rusty will get better, won't he? He will recover from all this, r-right?" "...I'm sorry, Vite. I can't give you an answer. All we can do is hope he will get better..."

I held my head low. The rest of the walk to the ship was silent.

~~

It's been a few weeks since the incident happened. I called my uncles (it started out with calling uncle Simon, but some time after uncle Black woke up, I started calling him too) everyday to ask how everything's going and about Rusty's progress. Today, they called me this time, and told me some good news: Rusty was out of quarantine(!), and I made it a point to go see him as soon as possible. I made sure to stop by the store real quick to get him a "little" gift, something I know he'll love, before heading over to his home.

Once I got there, I knocked on the door, and it didn't take long for someone to answer. "Hey uncle Black." "Vite, it's great to see you again! You're welcome to come into my humble aboad.~" His comment made me roll my eyes. Did he have to say it like that? I then let out a chuckle. "Good to see you again too, uncle."

I stepped inside, and my uncle closed the door behind me. We gave eachother a short little hug before letting go. "You seem to be doing better, Vite. What's it like to finally see out of your other eye again?" "It's still adjusting. It's a little weird seeing out of my other eye after having it covered up for so long. It's going to take some time to get used to seeing out of it again. Glad to see you're doing better yourself."

I looked around for uncle Simon, but couldn't see him anywhere. "Where's uncle Simon?" "He left for the store not too long ago. Speaking of store, what's in the bag?"

He was at the store too? I guess I must've missed him somehow. When he asked what was in the bag, I lowered my head. "It's a gift for Rusty. ..."

Uncle Black let out a long, quiet sigh. "I can tell you're worried about him, me and Simon are as well."

I heard him mumble something afterwards, I think he said something like 'I, of all Bombers, should've done something when he first showed the symptoms...', but I was unsure if I heard correctly.

"What did you say?" I asked. "It's nothing. Don't dwell on it." He said firmly. I was curious about what he said, but if he doesn't want me to ask again, I'll respect his wishes. "Alright, I won't."

I stare up the stairway. "How's Rusty doing?" I ask. "Right now, he's resting in his room. He's doing better physically, but mentally and emotionally, I can't say the same for them..." I look to the floor, then to my uncle. "I see... May I go see him?" "He might want some time to himself, but I think he will greatly appreciate your company, Vite." I nod, then headed up the stairway.

I walked down the hall until I get to Rusty's bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. I peeked through the little opening, and could see Rusty sitting on his bed, back towards the door, and staring out his window. Quietly, I enter the room, and softly went over to his bed.

When speaking, I tried to make myself sound optimistic. "Hey cousin Rusty. It's been a little while, hasn't it?" Rusty didn't give a response, he didn't even turn to look at me, his gaze was fixed towards the window.

I sat down on the opposite side of his bed and turned behind me to talk to him. "I heard you're starting to do better! That's great!" I tried to keep up the optimism in my voice, but frowned when Rusty remained quiet, and lowered his head.

"Rusty, please talk to me." I ask him softly. "You know you can trust me with telling me what's on your mind, right?"

He moved his head slightly to glance at me briefly before looking back to the floor. "How's... Pouple doing?" He asked softly. Pouple... I haven't seen her since that event at that warehouse.

I still feel guilty for what happened to her. I'm the reason Rusty went after her. If only I hadn't gotten hurt in the first place, she wouldn't have... No, this isn't the time to blame myself. While I can't help the feeling, it was something out of my control. There was no way of knowing what would happen ahead of time. I just hope she's doing alright now.

"I'm...not sure. I haven't seen her since the incident." I heard a soft "Oh..." from him before he went quiet again.

"...You still feel guilty for hurting her, don't you?" He slowly nods in response. After about a minute of slience, he spoke again.

"Not just for hurting her though..." He whispered. "For hurting both of my fathers too..." I put a hand on his shoulder. "It isn't your fault, Rusty."

He began to tremble, and his voice was shaky. "How is it not my fault, Vite?!" He snapped as turned to look at me, making me jerk my hand away. There were tears running down his face, and a bandage under his right eye where the marking was.

"How can you say it isn't my fault?! I said horrible things, and I badly injured Pouple and both of my fathers! I even knocked one of them unconscious and gave him a concussion! How can you say that none of that is my fault?!"

I took a moment to take in what he said before putting my hand on his shoulder again. "You weren't in control of yourself, Rusty. I know you didn't mean anything you said and did. I know you know you never meant any of that."

He looks down. "But..." "From what your dad, Black, told me, one isn't exactly in control when they're in a glitched state."

He let out a heavy sigh. "Even if I wasn't in control, that doesn't make me feel any less guilty or ashamed over the damage I've done and pain I caused. I'm surprised my fathers forgave me for all that. Honestly, I don't deserve to be forgiven..." He slumped forward and looked away. "If I ever do see Pouple again, I won't be surprised if she tells me she will never forgive me..."

I crawled over his bed and sat next to him, and moved my from his shoulder to his back. "Don't say that. Don't say you don't deserve forgiveness. I can't speak for Pouple, because, well, I'm not her, but I know your dads forgave you because they knew you were not acting like yourself."

"..." I lean forward to try to look at him. "I'm aware that you're angry with yourself. I know what you went through while glitched is going to take time to recover from, so I promise to help you through your recovery, and maybe help you learn to forgive yourself."

He remained quiet, but he slowly turned to look at me, his eyes were watering even more now, some of them even fell to the floor, then he hugged me, tightly, cried softly, and let out a soft "Thank you...".

After hugging for some time, I broke it to look at him. "By the way, I stopped by the store on my way here, and I bought you a "little" gift." While his eyes were still watering and he was still sniffling, he looked curious. He then wipes the tears away. "Really? What is it?"

I gave him a wink. "I'm not going to say, but I'll tell you it's something you'll really like." I lean back to grab the bag on the other side of the bed before handing it to him. He opened the bag up, and the moment he opened it, his eyes lit up, and he took out his gift. "A HUGE JAR OF NUTELLA?!" I quickly put a hand over his mouth (at least, where it would be). "Ssh! We don't want your dad to find out, do we?" I say to him in a hushed tone. "Oh, heh, sorry." He said hushedly. "But yes, it's a big jar of Nutella, and it's just for you, Rusty."

"All of it is just for me?" His eyes start watering again. "Vitie, thank you so much!" He gave me another tight hug, and I returned it. "Heh, you're welcome, but don't try to eat it all in one go, okay?" He broke the hug to wink at me. "I'll try not to."

When he glanced back at the jar, I swore I heard him say "I'm going to need a bigger spoon." and shot him a "What did I just tell you?" look. He glances back at me and chuckled.

"I'm just kidding, Vitie!" I raise a brow. "Are you sure?" "Yeah yeah! Maybe..." We both stare at eachother, then exchange laughs. "It's good to have you back, cousin Rusty."

It will take a while before things go back to normal, but this is a good start.

[thedappleddragon]

today was really nice! I slept really deeply last night but I dont know what I dreamed about, which kinda sucks. ive been having a harder time remembering my dreams recently :( anyway I had some breakfast and got a little spacey looking out the glass back door, so I went outside and the weather was BEAUTIFUL so I laid down on the trampoline and watched tiktoks. it felt like spring (specifically easter for some reason?) and It reminded me of summer quarantine where I was in my backyard every day. when I came back inside I washed come clothes and a couple of my sheets, took a short shower, and stayed in the kitchen for a long-ass time cooking fish for my mom and waiting to turn over laundry and playing Pokemon. I felt kinda nauseous for no reason and my back hurt so I dont know what that’s about. after a while of being in my room I wrote my friend a birthday card and prepared to go over to her house to deliver her present, a crocheted teddy bear :). I wasn't sure if I was going to just drop it off in her mailbox or go inside, but I ended up going in her house and chatting for a bit and I had a lovely time. I got to pet her pets even tho one cat attacked me and her dog climbed on me a little bit, her other cat was very sweet and just sniffed a lot. she apparently has 3 cats but I didnt know because the third was upstairs. we talked about college and her pets and stuff and it was very nice and I wish I could have stayed longer. afterwards my dad and I went to the store and I felt like I was acting like an absolute fool. but I did feel very cool in my boots and coat and clothes I really like. although I did get just bit overwhelmed. we bought girl scout cookies tho :) after getting home, snacking, and putting things away, and my dad throwing sheets fresh out of the drier onto my bed, I laid in bed for entirely too long playing Pokemon and scrolling through Tumblr and now I have a headache. I think I'll have just a little soda and try to fall asleep. I think I'm dehydrated and overstimulated because I just realized how much background noise I'm hearing from the forever-leaking faucet in the bathroom across the hall and the air conditioning and general house noise and my lamp being too bright and absorbing too much information on Tumblr and tiktok and oh my god I need to sleep. tomorrow I hope the weather is just as good so I can lay on the trampoline again in peace. it’s kind of sad that it got 3 rips in it over this winter, but I think dad probably caused them when shoveling snow off during the huge snowstorm that hit like 80% of America like a week ago. OOH I almost forgot. I spent some time drawing ferns and flowers on my leg with posca pens and I think it looks very cute. I heard rustling in my closet so I shook things around, but It kept happening and I saw as a little mouse climbed into the suitcase I used as a child so I held the lid closed, zipped it up, took the whole thing outside, and set it free in the backyard. it had a deer in the headlights moment as I looked at it with my phone flashlight, and it was very small and very cute. It ran away somewhere in the leaves, so I hope it finds shelter in the minibarn or under the old porch or something. and my other friend’s bday present arrived in the mail. hozier’s cover The Humors of Whiskey is stuck in my head and brings me much joy and relaxation. I understand why they call him some sort of fey or old god now. my cat only wants to hang out at the foot of my bed and wont cuddle with me at night or sit on my hip as I lay on my side :( she just makes wet snarfing sounds as she drinks the water I have sitting out for her 

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #2 - “Shit ain’t over till the fat lady sings and I didn’t warm my pipes.” (Cameron)

Day 4: Well. I survived my first tribal council of the season, and even though it went exactly according to plan, while I slept my entire day away, I'm still really hesitant to tell myself that I'm doing well on my tribe. I'm really nervous that my tribe mates are playing me, and that I'm really boo boo tha fool here. I called Megan post-tribal, and I was finally able to get some closure on something that happened between us in our personal lives, which felt really good. After that, she asked me about the idol, to which I had responded "Wait, Julian didn't tell you?", which hopefully sows some seeds of doubt in Megan about Julian. Ideally, if the Enlil tribe has to go back to tribal council, the four of us can bear witness to a Megan vs. Julian war. Because unfortunately, the connections I have outside Enlil, are shared with either Julian or Megan. If Megan and Julian are going after each other pre-merge, or during a swap scenario, I don't have to share those connections anymore. After that, Megan and I just talked about the nudes we received during quarantine ~ I then promptly ran to Will to tell him about the potential crack I just formed between Julian and Megan, which was met with genuine excitement. I think I'm really gaining Will's trust, and I think we vibe so well together. Love that guy! Overall, it wasn't a very productive day because I woke up at 4:30p PST. Love that for me, thanks for shading me @ Tribal Bodhi.

going into this scavenger hunt as the tribe that went to tribal last is worrysome. It's a challenge that's fully dependent on our activity, so we are at a serious disadvantage against the other two tribes that get to choose someone less active to sit out. We don't have that luxury. The point/life system eases the blow, however, since we can get less active players 1 life while more active players can get 3. In case we lose, I'm trying to connect with everyone on the tribe. I really don't want to vote anyone out though. I have an alliance with Julian and JJ, and one with Will on the side. Chrissa wants to work with Julian, JJ and myself, and I think Megan and JJ have something on the side. I'm nervous for who would be the target in the vote, and any vote would hurt all of our games collectively. Hopefully we win because the next vote will not be easy AT ALL.

Done w typing this sheet

jj and zachary are so fucking annoying to this challenge and if i vote for you first at the swap, its probably because youre typing too much during this challenge sorry not sorry xoxo - sincerely johnny a month from now

let me be clear with andrew I was not calling his hosting unfair i was calling the fact that a majority green item giving him a point unfair not the hosting but lack of yellow, also i have a headache i don't feel that good. and I just don't think zach should have had a point for it nothing against hosting obviously i watch a movie trivia thing where literally they have a challenge to challenge any questions that are unfair, that doesn't mean they are calling the question writers or the answer writers unfair. 

Zach just won the tribal challenge for us which is fantastic. We can maintain the illusion of a unified tribe longer, which keeps us together in a swap situation, and Zach has clearly painted a challenge target on himself over the last two challenges which will make him go before me if our Triforce ever becomes the minority. I'm really happy with my position in the game right now

me and monty trying to find the idol and decode this annoying ass video https://imgur.com/a/lu7sbMu

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been approximately three days since my last confession so far can't complain really we be winning they hating we be riding pretty damn clean I've got a majoritu alliance I didn't start so odds of it falling around me and being the first voted out slim to none thank the sweet baby jesis and all that good shit. Oh well that's all for now

JULIAN’S HOST CHAT GUEST, ZEE:

I am filling in a confessional because you told me to. I am in front of my fan because it's hot. I'm thinking that it seems pretty stupid to ask me for a confessional. Julian's prod chat isn't very interesting because he's distracted.

also just threw out madison's name to johnny. if this shit backfires on me ill be ):

https://youtu.be/Pqck1gayfJU

https://youtu.be/FMay7NycsPw

yo yo yo homies!!! fuck the scavenger hunt and the mobile Skype app !! Lowkey scared but I think I’m close with everyone on the tribe except madi soooooooooo that’s probably who will go tonight. I’ve connected a lot with Monty and am hoping we can work together closely moving forward 💕not sure how useful my relationship with Zach is going to be come swap/merge bc it seems like he’s ALREADY making himself a target like the big doof he is. More later 💋

https://youtu.be/Qg47yupj1bQ

https://youtu.be/vUK8A1qWVoA

Hello tumblr survivor world! Sorry I didnt confess for episode 1, I was going to but i accidentally exited out of the page when i almost finished writing it. Anyways, it was just a cast assessment for my tribe so tl;dr everyone on my tribe is great and its really sad that we have to vote someone out now. So this whole weekend I was away so I was REALLY worried that I would be voted out since I sat out of the challenge. But after talking to Johnny and Isabelle, it seems like Madison will be voted out tonight. Which is so bad bc this her first game in a year, but hey it's our first vote and it's not me so it's not really the time to make a stand. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Okay I took a break from writing this confessional and there's moreeeeeeeee so part 2 I guess. So I had a call with Johnny and we came up with an alliance of me, him, Isabelle, and Benji. What an iconic alliance, right? But also while Johnny and I talked we got onto the topic of idols and why it is that there hasn't been an idol post yet. I brought up that wayyyyyy back when in Malaysia and some other games around that time, some of the idol hunts were less clear cut. We ended up looking at the blog and clicking the "idol system" tab and it brought us to some weird crab video with audio that sounds like a pokemon cry? Idk part of me thinks its just a joke but I also have to consider that it might be SOMETHING. It said remember to like and subscribe so I sent a screenshot of me liking and subscribing to see if that would do anything but nope. Johnny said he'd do some thinking about it and get back to me later if he figures something out. Also tribal seems super clear cut so I'm a bit less worried now but y'know how it is I can't not worry about tribal.

i just spent $8 on a spectogram and STILL cant find this fucking idol im gonna kms... monty im sorry im steam rolling ahead looking for this thing without telling you, but thank you for the first clue xoxo... if i get stumped in the future ill reach out for SURE (but idt you trust me that much so this seems kinda valid to me) ((FOUR HOURS LATER: i told monty lololol)) ALSO FOR FUCKS SAKE I think madison is gonna go, and truthfully, im fine with it because it's the easiest thing to do due to her poor performance in the past few challenges and just being the least AROUND the tribe, but i know that it'd probably be better for me long term to get rid of abby because i just dont see her as a long term ally for me. i think she's close to JJ and Megan on the other tribe, and she's becoming much more acclimated to the tumblr survivor community that i just BET that she maybe has an additional connection on the rookie tribe. If I can attempt to break that up before we get to a swap, I think that's what im going to have to do figure out if we lose another challenge before a swap... i dont really want to see ANYBODY else go besides abby if im thinking about a second boot. i bet it wont be easy to take her out tho also, if madison goes, this is like...... lowkey vindication for game changers???? last night i talked about this with monty and i was like hmmmm "is it ugly to bring up past game history?" and his response was "not if it's within the same series" .... so. vindication

---

omg i just told madison how to find the idol system thing i hope she doesnt tell anyone i told her about it LMAO........ this almost seems too easy.i got added to two alliances today. why do i not feel safe? is it me going? WTF IS GOING ON

excited to be first boot because no one will TALK TO ME! 

Things haven’t changed much since my last confessional! As far as I know the tribe hasn’t started into alliances and we’re all riding some excitement at having so far avoided tribal. I think the rest of the tribe and I are all feeling good and just focusing on making the tribe switch without losing any members.

from round 2 https://youtu.be/fk002uG2HoI

Hi sorry I forgot to do a confessional this round so this will be short imma just say a few things 1. I don’t trust julian one bit he can stop being shady to me 2. I can’t believe we aren’t going to tribal I’m so fkn happy i was able to pull out the win for our tribe because I didn’t want to lose anybody else 3. I love and adore will with all of my being and he’s my number 1 ally right now 4. I find it highly doubtful that there’s only one idol in this game and that you can’t find it until merge but that’s as far as I can get in the idol search for now so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it 5. I’m still having fun can’t wait to fuck up another flash game yay!!!

My Purple edit is amazing right now. But having played more games than most of these newbies, I have decided to take on the role of teacher and becoming more of a "role model" for these newbies. I feel like I have the closest bond with Zach, and I need to get a little closer with Collin. I have Grace from past games, and then there are the others who I do not really have any strong bonds with at the moment. I guess I need to start going to them more and show that I want to work with them.

https://youtu.be/yhwXzqrTcsA Confessional 2 for round 2

https://youtu.be/TVnpwqc8XLY

Madison voted out 6-1