#I will choose to not tag feminism here but I lmao

[minniiaa]

LMAO watching the OP reverie arc and I completely forgot that Vivi punched Luffy and he knocked her flat on her ass. He is such a feminist he does not discriminate he’ll knock his homie OUT if they say start saying talking nonsense about self-sacrifice, woman or not.

[hongluboobs]

(sending myself an ask I got on Retrospring a while back because I was able to get a really interesting answer with help from a friend and I think more people need to be aware of this stuff. the original asker was anonymous and this question was sparked because I was compiling Hong Lu's lines for something and noticed just how many tildes and ellipsis he uses... and that it was making its way into my own typing patterns lmao)

about the hong lu ellipsis/tilde thing: i remember hearing an offhand comment from a kr speaker that hong lu's speech quirk is talking girlishly, and while i am not an expert in korean by any means, i've read that women tend to speak softer and more passively, drag out their last syllables (probably the reason for all the tildes), and end their statements with rhetorical question tags more often, among other things. it's unfortunately generally theorized this is a result of misogyny in korean culture. i wish i could say more but i really don't know korean and i don't how it compares to like, everyone else in the cast

(Original post can be found here )

This was interesting to me and i’m lucky enough to know someone who natively speaks korean and plays limbus in kr so i asked him about it! All credit to Ciel @/10seisan for this incoming text wall :)

Here’s what he had to say:

I, too, read that Hong Lu’s tone and speech patterns as being more feminine. Specifically, I would describe his tone as sounding like a mixture of customer service and feminine speech, if that makes sense. His vocal inflexions are more noticeable and they tend to go upwards in pitch, which is associated with feminine speech patterns. I would say that what the asker sent about how women tend to speak here is accurate, and I think that misogyny plays a large role in it as well. As an example, the passive speaking, we have the word 돌려서 말하다, which means “to indirectly speak about a topic” or “beat around the bushes”. This is somewhat expected for people of all genders in formal situations to be polite, but women tend to do it more often and in less formal situations as well due to societal pressure to not seem “aggressive” by coming across “too strong”. Tangents aside, Hong Lu’s tildes in the text corresponds to the voice lines where he drags out syllables, speaks more softly, and/or has a particularly noticeable rise in inflexion at the end of a sentence, so they certainly are indicative of his feminine mannerisms in speech. As for the ellipses, this depends more on the context, since they can be used simply to indicate pauses, but I wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of them coincided with something specific to his speech mannerisms as well. As for how he compares to the other sinners, I would say that, in some ways, his speech sounds similar to Rodya’s, actually—more so than the other sinners. Especially when it comes to the (canonically) male sinners, his speech is not at all similar to any of them. Yi Sang may be the closest if I were required to choose—solely due to his voice being on the softer side—but even then, Yi Sang has very little inflexion and typically ends his sentences with a fall in pitch, unlike Hong Lu

(Ciel’s thoughts end here)

This is all really interesting to me because as an english speaker (and as a person who tends to tune out vocal performance in general, esp if it’s foreign) i can only catch some of it. The delivery on Hong Lu’s lines make sense, especially when taking his background from his source book into account. (whether you want to purely read this as overly formal speech bc of the whole “family is like a cohort of kin looking for a chance to stab you in the back” thing or you want to read gender in it is up to you)

The fact it’s most similar to Rodya’s speech patterns is interesting too… I notice this in the english text as well (i’ve seen people mistake abnormality log text written by Hong Lu for Rodya and vice versa on numerous occasions) Rodya plays up her feminity a lot as a mask so it makes a lot of sense that it’s the closest to Hong Lu’s but still. very interesting. I’m a huge fan of their dynamic in general but that’s a tangent for a different ask, it’ll just be interesting to see if/what can make Hong Lu drop those speaking patterns…

I could yap a bit more on this but i think i’m just gonna leave it be for now because Ciel did a really good job at explaining it all :)

[allfillernothriller]

Welcome to Unhinged Hours, a series of posts that will be tagged as such in which I will overshare my cringiest and most awkward thoughts because I've no self-control over my need to vent. And who knows. Might help someone else.

Don't mind the dubious syntax and weird grammar.

[cw brief mention of abuse]

When I was 17-19, I was mortified to discover I was attracted to (much) older people. During my early twenties, the majority of my crushes were in their thirties. I knew the age gap was too big and I was too young, so I did nothing about them and naively thought this was something that would fix itself with time. I thought "at least I know I find people in their thirties attractive so I just have to wait to reach mine and date people my age then" (lmao good one past me). Well. As I'm inching ever closer to said thirties, it's more and more evident that the issue clearly did NOT fix itself, those old crushes are nearing their forties and I haven't stopped carrying them in my heart. They're attractive in new ways. When I look at pics from back when I first developed a crush, I find that my current 27yo self isn't physically attracted to their 32yo self I was originally attracted to anymore. And I know for a fact that 21yo me wouldn't have found 38yo [redacted] hot. But current me is still attracted to current them (38yo [redacted] is indeed very hot). And you might wonder what's the issue here, so lemme tell you. I've been frequenting online feminist spaces for a decade. I've read countless accounts of teenage girls and young women who were manipulated and abused by older partners. I've read an inordinate amount of warnings, the gist of all of them being “don't date older folks during your formative years, don't believe them when they call you 'mature for your age'”. And let me be crystal clear — I still think it's relevant and infinitely important to relay those accounts and protect girls and young women, and help them spot red flags and predatory patterns. It absolutely is, I am not blaming feminism for my existential struggles. I am simply giving you context. The thing is, I've internalised this as “don't ever pursue older folks, period” (which is a completely different thing, I knew that then and still know it now but couldn't help it) and as a result I've been lugging around self-inflicted guilt and shame for years (and don't I love the internalised biphobia that adds to it when the person happens to be a man /s). And these crushes I've been telling you about? They're one-sided! They've never expressed any interest, so that's always been a safe situation for me, but did that prevent any self-loathing from taking root in my brain? Course it didn't! I can't seem to shake the feeling that there's something wrong with me and I've grown tired of this. Scolding myself over human emotions is getting fucking old.

That brings me to today's crisis — at which point in one's life does it get easier to accept? How old is old enough to stop caring about the age gap? When will I stop blaming myself? How do I drop the guilt?

Because if it was "just" the fact that I'm still swooning over the same people (who are now soon-to-be 40), that would be too easy, wouldn't it? But nooo I just had to go and get a new crush on someone who's already in their forties. Where does this end, please?

(You might've noticed that the overuse of the word 'crush' and choosing to focus on the physical aspect of attraction here is a poor attempt at a euphemism. I mean some of them are simple crushes, as for the others... past a certain point, still calling them crushes is just denial on my part. I'm basically fooling myself.)

“This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'this is a Large Crisis'.” (Blackadder Goes Forth, ep. 6)

[sunfallsprophet]

get to know the mun

What's your phone wallpaper?: Currently this.

Last song listened to: "Run Baby Run" by 2WEI, Ali Christenhusz. Sometimes I need suspenseful music to set the mood while writing and what not.

Currently reading: The Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon

Last movie: Uhh... I think Spider Man: Across the Spider-Verse?

Last show: DOTA: Dragon's Blood.

What are you wearing right now?: Blue and purple tie-dye t-shirt and flowy yellow floral pants. They do not match at all, but I'm wearing them as pajamas basically.

How tall are you?: 5 feet tall lmao.

Piercings/Tattoos: My ears were pierced. I say "were" because I haven't worn earrings in a long time, so they might've closed up somewhat.

Glasses/Contacts?: Glasses.

Last thing you ate?: Kielbasa and strawberry lemonade.

Favorite Color: Forest/emerald green.

Current obsession: Well, I said Elden Ring and US politics/current events in my last "About Me" post, both of which are still true. Besides that, I've always been pretty obsessed about my original character, Djahima lmao. They've gone through a shit ton of development over the years. Fun fact: when I was in high school, Djahima was originally named after a Pokemon.

Do you have a crush right now?: Crush deez nuts (no).

Favorite fictional character: There's a few, but if I had to choose one, gun to my head? I'd say Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate; I was obsessed with his character for years. Still kinda am, but it's cooled off. Other favorite characters include Calypso/Tia Dalma from Pirates of the Caribbean (Djahima's inspiration), The Whispering Hillock/Black Beauty and the crones Weavess, Whispess, and Brewess from The Witcher 3, Miguel O'hara (I'm assuming we all know where he's from), Lae'zel from Baldur's Gate 3, Hecate from Hades 2 even though I barely know anything about her right now but I don't need to because that's peak fuckin character design right there. The pattern here is that I love pathetic, broken men who are a hairsbreadth away from being insane and women who are already deranged and are so sexy about it. Feminism, innit?

Last place you traveled: Like traveled, traveled? Iceland.

tagged by: @hauntsect (thank you!! <3)

tagging: @yaksha-garden @themckaytriarchy @iobartach @vernades & anyone reading this that wants to do it.

[implied-divinity]

So, I'm a transfem, but I feel like forced masculinization and forced feminization kinks are similar enough in content and context that my perspective if we pretended your post was about the latter might be worth something, which is: I think your post was fine, and that's speaking as someone who doesn't like egg breaking culture. You very sweetly offered maybe being a trans man as a gentle suggestion in a space where people were already discussing roleplayed forced transitioning. I think that's like, the gold standard for that kinna thing. Being transfem you're free to disregard my opinion formed through transfem egg discourse and you should devinitely always prioritize the opinions of transmascs on transmasc issues. But like I said, I think the issues are close enough that it might be worth chiming in on.

hi there, your opinion is super appreciated and valuable here! something i do try to look out for in my posts is not trying to demean femininity or imply that masculinity and men are superior. in my forcemasc posts that are more coerced sounding, i make sure that femininity is something that isnt BAD, just not something that suits the reader. outside of the kink, i think femininity is wonderful for anyone. hell i still own makeup and most of my ""girl"" clothes. i know theres so many tboys who are just scared to let go of femininty because i was and am like that. the kink has helped me take a deeper look at what really would make me happy beyond how im used to living my life. i hope the transfem version can help in the same way, although i havent been on those tags so i dont know.

i havent really heard much discourse about egg breaking besides a couple posts referencing things i havent seen. in my opinion every situation and relationship has its own boundaries. its important when youre talking to friends and acquaintances about whether they might be trans to be respectful and responsive to their emotions. if theyre someone youre really close to, a deeper conversation can happen. but for a lot of people a small nudge, suggestion, or observation can be more than enough. you shouldnt have to convince them. to let them know its an option and that you support them however they choose to be is the most important part. if they transition, its gonna have to be something they figure out for themselves. people arent as responsive to forced masc/fem as they are in the kink believe it or not LMAO

and for strangers id say tht same- a small suggestion is fine. you also arent obligated to say anything! or they may already be thinking it! just being respectful of the fact that people dont like getting told what to do- for queer reasons or anything else!

basically do what you want forever. thanks for your thoughts i appreciate it ^_^

[gay-impressionist]

Tag Game

Thank you @thasminlove for tagging me 🥰

Nickname: I've had plenty over the years but here are the ones still in use : Lisou, Lisounette, Clone, Satan with boobs

Gender: Woman (cis)

Sign: libra ⚖️

Height: 1m69

Time: 15:28

Fave band: Milky Chance

Fave solo artists: it's too hard to choose 😭

Song stuck in my head: Oh My Goodness by Olly Murs, smh ?

Last movie I saw: Ocean's 8

Last show I saw: What If? (Marvel) I especially loved episodes one and two, they were so cool and funny! T'Challa as Star Lord with reformed Thanos and sassy blonde Nebula was 👌👌. the eps are stand alone btw

When did I create my blog: December 2015

What do I post about: mostly stuff about queerness, intersectionnal feminism, politics, fandoms + tumblr memes + my life

Last thing I googled: why in french, some countries are masculine and others feminine. turns out, if the country's name ends with an 'e' it's feminine. if not, it's masculine. except for Belize, Cambodge, Mexique, Mozambique, Suriname and Zimbabwe which are considered masculine for some reason. (french doesn't make any sense)

Why did I choose my URL: because the old one didn't represent who i was anymore and i'm gay and love impressionism 🤷‍♀️

Do I have other blogs: nope

Do I get asks: not much but sometimes. my inbox is always open though!

Following: 272

Followers: 1 091

Average hrs of sleep: 7h i'd say? it really depends

Lucky number: 7 but only because that's what an automat at the paris museum of magic told me lmao. i'm not superstitious anyway

Instrument you play: none but i did learn to play guitar when i was in middle school (and still know the notes of yellow submarine by heart lmao). technically i also learnt how to play the flute at school but that doesn't count x)

Last book you read: Lisière (Border:A Journey to the Edge of Europe in english) by Kapka Kassabova. The author was born in Bulgaria when it was still part of the USSR. She doesn't live there anymore but decides to go back and go to the border as it was a forbidden place under the soviet regime. she spends several months at the border with Turkey and Greece, talking to the locals and discovering the history of this area, from nazi archeologists to people escaping the USSR to syrian refugees to muslim bulgarians and christians turks being displaced through the centuries. i really liked it 👍

3 fictional universes I’d like to join: the smurfs, doctor who (minus the never stopping deaths and tragedies) and the bold type (bc adena el-amin is my ideal wife)

tagging @pia-writes-things @saecookie @larosezen @white-caged-bird @maikanna @tonio-thegatto

[scarletbi-tch]

I was tagged by... @creepingwolfberry

Thank you darling

Name/Nickname: i don’t really post my real name on here but not a lot nicknames nicely from it but. little one, H.

Gender: female

Zodiac: Sagittarius (though I don’t really care about that sort of stuff)

Height: one inch shorter than Scarlett Johansson

Time: 20:47

Birthday: Late November

Favourite bands (outside of musical theatre): I’m awkward, I tend to like random songs instead of specific artists. I do like billie eilish, Janet devlin, Abba, Phildel, Demi lovato

Last movie I watched: Knives Out. Or maybe it was Miss Congeniality.

Last show I watched: Currently watching Friday Night Dinner, last one I watched was Agent Carter

When did I create this blog: Oh god knows. I was like. Mid teens? So a few years. What it is now is so different to what it was when it began so... the most recent version was probably like.. a year ago? Idk

What do I post: Mostly Marvel females. With a sprinkling of various other fandoms, comedy, feminism, equality, and other stuff. Mostly reblogs tbh, plus anything I wouldn’t post anywhere my parents can see lmao

Last thing I Googled: ‘horse weight chart’

Other blogs: I do have one which is much more popular but I haven’t posted on it in AGES because I don’t have the motivation.

Why I chose my url: Because it’s badass. And also Wanda is a love.

Average hours of sleep: some days it’s 3 hours, some days it’s 12. Who knows.

Lucky numbers: 14, 27, 40, 97

What I’m wearing: 101 Dalmatians fluffy pyjamas

Dream job: Zoo educator

Dream trip: Maybe New Zealand. Or Canada and do some serious wildlife trekking. Or a repeat of our trip up the Californian coast wildlife spotting

Favourite food: Donuts

Nationality: British. Specifically, I’m from England.

Favourite song: I can’t choose from Musical Theatre so outside of that genre, maybe.. Everything I wanted, Billie Eilish

Last book I read: I can’t remember what it was called but it was funny and about animal reproduction. Don’t judge me, I studied zoology.

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: MCU, agents of SHIELD (yes I know they’re somewhat the same but), Avatar the Last Airbender would be pretty cool, I agree Wolfie

Don’t feel you have to do this, feel free to take out some questions if you only want to do a bit, tagging @owlscbooks @missmarvelobsession @timetravellinghippogriff @bewitchingomen @scarletb-tch

[tempestaurora]

Also! As you're studying creative and professional writing: do you have any writing advice? Anything you picked up along the way that's incredibly helpful with your original fiction and fanfic?

alright, i’m gonna try and culminate the last three years of my degree into the most helpful advice i received that i can remember and it might be completely useless to you all but who cares:

adverbs are the enemy. if you can say she smiled prettily you can sure as hell take another four words to describe what was pretty about her smile instead. (if you gotta keep 1 or 2 adverbs in, fine, but purge the rest.)

kill your darlings is usually relevant but only because that one sentence you love so much is usually only loved because it doesn’t actually fit in with everything else. if your darling fits and works, don’t go killing it - raise everything surrounding it to that standard.

when posting articles/content online (especially on websites like medium), post towards the back end of the week, in the second half of the day. wednesday and thursday are the best ones for it. the algorithms of medium and other websites will make sure the article ends up trickling into friday, when bored employees go online during their breaks, and if enough of them read it, it’ll be especially popular over the weekend. (case in point, i did exactly this for this essay on depression.)

be warned though, popularity can be down to your tagging system, your title, any featured image and subtitle. just because you post at the exact right time doesn’t mean you’ll get the reads. here’s a masterlist of free stock images you can use, just because i’m nice.

read everything you can

read where we came from as much as new books. i don’t like classics but even i have to admit that reading ray bradbury can provide important and helpful tips and tricks, as much as reading the hunger games can.

try as many genres as you can, but if you know what genre you want to write in, focus your energy on that. a teacher of mine once said that he regrets dividing his energy between literary fiction and horror. he reads and writes both, but because he spent his time split, he never mastered either of them. if he had focused on one over the other, his talents with it would be much more than they are. (though, note, if you want to focus on multiple genres, do it anyway. i can’t decide between sci fi and fantasy, so i’m willing to master neither so i can enjoy them both.)

write everyday if possible. my teachers all recommend morning pages - you write a page in the morning before you get up and leave. do it during breakfast or when you’re still in bed. it can be about anything - word association, prose, poetry, whatever. it also does not have to be good. here’s a good book we were recommended on the subject if you want help with this.

for fan fic specifically: write in third person. unless you’ve got something super Artsy and Forward Thinking going on, your readers will only find themselves uncomfortable with first person, as we’re already trained to consider these characters as outside ourselves. putting first person in makes us the same person as the character, and whether readers are aware of it or not, that’s not the experience they came to fan fic for.

try to observe the trends of fan fiction when you can. i did this when i wrote for the 100 (i noticed that more people wrote during the hiatus between seasons, but more people were reading during the season airing and immediately after it finished) - you’ll find you’ll get more reads than you expect.

on tagging, just because it’s relevant to me: tag however you want on ao3, but tumblr only pays attention to the first 5, so make them the most important ones that are most likely to be read. from 6 onwards, tumblr won’t put your post in that listing when searched, so don’t bother.

don’t make the same mistakes i did with the prose around dialogue. it’s not:

“Hey there,” Jackson said. Emily smiled.

“Hey!”

as soon as your prose stops relating to the dialogue and jackson, you gotta start a new paragraph. even if you’re going into exposition or description - it doesn’t belong on the same line as the dialogue and it’ll start confusing the reader. especially when you stop saying things like “jackson said” and the reader starts attributing the dialogue to incorrect characters. try:

“Hey there,” Jackson said.

Emily smiled. “Hey!”

be as economical in your writing as possible. seriously. i love purple prose but we don’t need it everywhere. sometimes the reader just needs the facts and not three paragraphs of adjacent information. (sometimes, however, the reader wants that information, so it’s about being economical with how often you’re economical.)

for correct formatting for scripts, use the BBC writer’s room. they also have contests and open submissions. very occasionally, the people who submit can get hired to the BBC.

let yourself be shit at writing. it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Reading List:

here’s the best books i can offer you for writing. some may be helpful, some not so much for you - but these are the books my teachers recommended and i connected with.

The Writer’s Journey, Christopher Vogler is a staple, okay? it was the first book we were told to buy, because it breaks apart a story into so many pieces and shows you how they’re to be employed. it’s not an enjoyable read, but it’s a really good place to be starting from.

The Elements of Style, Strunk and White. Another staple. Very short and apparently, very important.

if you want help with novel writing, Thomas Emson’s How To Write a Novel in Six Months is my go-to. he came in and delivered a lecture, the book takes only 40 minutes to read, and it comes with a lot of great advice you can pick and choose from. i reference him every time y’all ask for writing advice and it’s because the things i took from his book are the most helpful to my process.

Stephen King’s On Writing is pretty good. I was bored as heck through the first half, where he writes his life story, but the second half is all writing advice and super helpful.

as mentioned in the morning pages point: The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron.

The Definitive Guide to Screenwriting, Syd Field.

The Ode Less Travelled, Stephen Fry. if you’re interested in writing poetry, this is a very good one to use.

On Writing Well, William Zinsser. if you want to write non-fiction, this is the one for you. get the most recent edition you can, the edits are worth it. (for example, zinsser originally wrote ‘he’ when talking of the writer, and eventually changed to ‘they’ and ‘he or she’, because he learned feminism lmao.)

my playwriting teacher recommends The Art of Writing Drama, Michelene Wandor which i haven’t actually read yet but i plan to.

Heussner, Tobias, et al. The Game Narrative Toolbox is good (though a lil expensive) for when it comes to writing for games.

so is Rusch, Doris C. Making Deep Games: Designing Games with Meaning and Purpose, but again, recommended for games.

sources: i’m a third year creative and professional writing undergrad, taught by professional writers in fiction, experimental literature, poetry, non-fiction, playwriting, young adult and children’s literature and game design. 

[saint-hatice]

Nosy Meme

@theoriginalsuki tagged me!

Rules: tag nine people you wish to know better.

Top 3 Ships:  Yeah, I hyperfixate on at least three things a week, and I’m pretty open to anything so if I have to choose some consistent ship choices I’ve made (I will gravitate toward anything that’s delicious enough tbh) where I’d categorise at ‘OTPs’ I’m loyal to and have consistently been emotionally invested in then over a long ass period of time; Jonsa (of course), NaruSaku (yeah, I’m dredging up Naruto here, after all these years this still hurts me.) and of course Seth x Kate duh.

But then again I have a hundred thousand obscure (and unobscure) ships and I’m intrigued by different relationships in every media I consume, open to pretty much anything with the exception of like a HANDFUL of NOTPs I cannot STAND, which I know is irrational and I try to control my reactions, but for the most part my hatred of a ship has always been my own business and not a free pass to go out and bash people who enjoy them. Ship and let ship and all. Enjoy! 

Last Song:  Oh, nice, I started listen to Sharon Van Etten’s albums intently yesterday. I’m familiar with some of her music already but yesterday I was like, lets check out those albums tho coz I Wish I Knew What To Do With You is a certain flavour of beautiful. So tbh the last song if I’m being strict would be ‘Beaten Down’. Not my favourite song of hers!

Last Movie:  I wish I had a sexier answer, but I slaved through ‘The Hustle’ with Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway, and I am so tired of these weird interpretations of feminism that barely even try. A mess. However, I mean to watch ‘You Were Never Really Here’ soon, coz it’s been on my list for ages.

Currently Reading:  Well tbh I haven’t read anything in a while, I’ve been listening to the audiobook for Queen of Nothing for the past four months lmao and I still haven’t finished it. Also listening to Edward Said’s Orientalism. But I ought to read. Last book I read before that was...? I honestly can’t remember lmao BUT I DO READ!!! It’s just I cannot for the life of me remember!!!!

What food are you craving right now:  nothing right now, I had some coffee (I’m not a coffee person) which is a pretty good appetite suppressant, I’m trying to cut a few pounds and eat healthier. But when cravings hit, its usually for a coke or something sweet like a cadbury.

I tag...well tbh this tumblr is my tumblr for secret private fandom shit, so I don’t interact with a lot of people often or consistently enough to tag them and the people that I have talked with a few times, I don’t think these kind of memes are their thing for a majority of them. I would have tagged @theoriginalsuki though, but they tagged me first! So I haven’t got NINE people but I think I’ll tag @glubefics , @dancinglikeahippogriff, @rumaan , @captain-noir , @framboise-fics and hope they’ll forgive the imposition especially if they don’t remember interacting with me, because I would still like to know more about them! Whoever sees this, please feel free to do it even if I haven’t tagged you, if you wanna do it, go ahead!

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Tagged

I did one of these recently but this one has more questions so I guess I’ll do it, anyway! :D Thank you for the tag dear @buddyhollyscurls ♥

Rules: answer 30 questions tag 10 blogs and post as a textpost

1. Nickname: Lovely? With or without ‘Lily’ attached to it? :p

2. Gender: female

3. Star sign: Taurus

4. Height: 5′0″

5. Time: 5:32pm

6. Birthday: April 27th

7. Fave bands: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Fleetwood Mac, Heart, Journey, The Beatles, The Police, CCR, L7, Pearl Jam, Concrete Blonde, Thunderpussy, we’ll be here all day if I list more...

8. Fave solo artist: Janis Joplin, Stevie Nicks, Linda Ronstadt, Cyndi Lauper, Alice Bag, Tracy Chapman, Tom Petty, Michael Jackson, again we’ll be here all day if I have to list more...!

9. Song stuck in your head: I didn’t have one stuck in my head before but now that I read this question it’s “Crossroads” by Tracy Chapman (her songs get stuck in my head so easily! And I’m not a bit mad about it!)

10. Last movie watched: I think it was Coraline...I haven’t watched anything in a week or so, I guess. :p

11. Last show watched: Oh wait, I started rewatching random episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine so I guess I have watched something in the past week?

12. When did I create my blog: September 2014

13. What do I post: Music, feminism, activism/social justice issues, personal stuff, sometimes I post my writing... Otherwise, whatever I feel like. :p

14. Last thing I googled: I dunno, I haven’t looked anything up yet today. :p But in prediction, I am soon gonna look up “Lucinda Williams discogs” so there’s that bit of info for ya.

15. Do you have any blogs: This one, @takealittlepieceoftheirhearts, @quietworldofwhiteandgold (which I should delete or else revamp and turn into a Heartbreakers/TPATH blog probably...but I’m sure Stevie would still have her presence ;)), and my personal writing blog.

16. Do you get asks: not very often, but if I do, usually by friends. :) ♥

17. Why did you choose your url: Because my favorite line from “King of Pain” (which is my second favorite song ever) was taken and I think by now it’s probably pretty obvious that I feel music with not just my physical body. So yeah. Had to represent that somehow!

18. Following blogs:  506

19. Followers: 1,117 (WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE and where did you come from? Nice to have you here. Even if probably 3/4 of you are pornbots. LMAO Fuck you and your censorship failure, Tumblr.)

20. Fave colour: green but I also really love teal? Like, I really love teal. I never really realized it, but I like it a lot. Same with turquoise, I think.

21. Average hours of sleep: between 6-9 hours. :p

22. Piercings?: Just one in each ear

23. Instruments: piano, by ear. I don’t practice singing enough anymore for me to really consider it an instrument I use. :( SO SAD, SO SAD. I also miss being in choir. Man...the regrets. (Well...sort of.)

24. Favorite book: Ask the Passengers by A.S. King and The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

25. How many blankets do you sleep with: 5 ‘cause it’s fucking cold in WA and also it enables me to not have to keep the heat on while I’m sleeping.

26. Dream job: Novelist or MAYBE short story writer? But also...music writer. But not exactly like a journalist because I’ve never taken a journalism class and I’d rather not start. :p That divide between creative writers and journalists is real. BESIDES: creative nonfiction is a thing and it’s actually a thing I like a lot, so we’ll consider it to be in that vein.

27. Dream trip: Scotland

28. Fave food: Hamburgers and burritos

29. Nationality: American

30. Current fave song: um, my favorite songs don’t tend to change, so I’ll say “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty.

Since I did something like this recently I don’t feel like tagging anybody, but if you see this and you’d like to do it, feel free to tag me in it and say “I BLAME YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS” because that’s a measure of guilt I’m okay with taking on. LOL (And hopefully it’s enjoyable for you so then the guilt isn’t actually so bad. Sounds good to me!)

[fox-steward]

@illinoisbeau didn’t respond when i said it was up to him about tagging, so i’ll give him the chance to respond, but please let me know if i should remove the tag.

where to even start with this? it’s wildly illogical but i am waiting for my wife to get off a 9hr plane ride so i’ll bite.

image 1: i’m sorry if you think i just came up with everything on this blog like some inspired fount of radical feminism, but these ideas are here to help make sense of my experience. they do not come out of my experience. what i’m saying is, my experience with dysphoria is likely indistinguishable from most other female trans people, and you said it best yourself, “transition [is] not the right treatment.”

i try to make this point with exhaustive examples, drawing on the indisputable conditions of being female in this society.

image 2: acknowledges misogynistic society? check. everything you said after that and before your own experience? word salad. how am i missing how “misogyny permeates each person in society in all areas of life?” that is exactly what i’m saying. and extrapolating from there, im suggesting that even sex dysphoria is informed by the all-permeating misogyny. why do i have to repeat this? it would seem we agree here?

you’re right we never stop learning from society, but as you experience the socialization of manhood, you do so with a history of girlhood. guess who fundamentally does not do that: natal males. which means even now, your experience of manhood is going to be fundamentally different from theirs. just as mine was. just as all transmen’s are. we never stop learning from society,“ but we also cannot just erase what we already learned. i’m suggesting it is possible (probable) that for female people like us, who experienced girlhood with dysphoria, it is precisely the experience of misogyny that gives rise to desires to become the opposite sex.

image 3: my man, there is no reliable difference between “cis and trans dysphoric people.” it’s not helpful (except insofar as to construct and substantiate some kind of innate trans narrative) to distinguish between types of dysphoric people, especially when the overlap of our experiences is so huge–nearly a circle!

i’m not sure what exactly you’re arguing, but the notion that therapists aren’t helpful to dysphoric people is…dubious. from one side of the coin, i agree, from the other, i don’t. i agree that right now, therapists are not doing dysphoric people right and helping us investigate the deeper meaning of dysphoria and helping us work on ways to deal with it outside of steering us toward medical transition. i don’t agree that therapists are seeking out reasons to “make us normal.” this is…a wild claim. so intangible as to be useless to this discussion.

again, there is just no use in trying to draw a line between “cis” dysphoric people and “trans” dysphoric people unless that purpose is to bolster the idea that transness is an innate state of being. practically, there’s no difference between your life experience (what you’d call trans) and mine (what you’re calling cis). any difference exists in your mind in order to justify why we can have different outcomes of the same experience: transition.

image 4: not sure what the point in bringing up the difference between society and nature is. sure, they’re different, but each one is real in that we have to live with both and with the ways they interact. those interactions being something like: all females (nature) are oppressed by misogyny (society).

no one is asking you to obsess over your biological sex? all i’m suggesting is, it’s better for mental health when we acknowledge our reality, that we are female, rather than believing we are or could become male.

look, you’re 18 and an adult, so i’m not trying to belittle you when i say this: at 18, the human brain isn’t done forming. in my late 20s, mine is. i guarantee i have life experiences behind me that you just don’t. i say from experience and observation of others, feelings change a lot between 18 and 30. i say from experience, it’s no good for mental health to feverishly pursue something you can never attain (becoming male). whether you believe me or not is up to you, but you in particular is not who i write this for. i write for any dysphoric female, myself included.

image 5: no, what jeopardizes your healthcare is a medical industry that suggests transition without the appropriate investment of time and resources in figuring out how to physically and emotionally care for trans people. what jeopardizes your healthcare is a lack of research into long term testosterone use and how that changes a female body. but make no mistake, changed by medication or not, it’s still a female body. what jeopardizes your healthcare are transphobic doctors and nurses who turn away trans patients because they don’t understand or are disgusted by our bodies. and that is a flaw with society, not nature.

i get that you don’t want the experience of womanhood and transition will functionally fix that for you, but your body will not enter some mystical space between male and female. it will be a female body on testosterone. and that’s fine! like you said, functionally, it does the job! no one “gives a shit” that transition is an aesthetic approximation? this discussion is not about feeling a certain way about transitioning, that is literally just the honest description of what it is. claiming to somehow slide into a biologically male body? that has a lot more to do with feelings–namely, appeasing your own internal sense of being. and as my personal experience informs me, insisting doesn’t make it so.

no one said or implied that transness or transsexuality is unnatural and thus wrong. nothing about this discussion or any of my writing is about transness being wrong. it’s almost all about how females suffer misogyny, how that influences dysphoria, and wondering if medically transitioning is the best treatment for it. that’s it. and you can agree or disagree, but trying to make it seem like i am anti-trans isn’t true or fair.

image 6: you are the only one distinguishing our dysphorias, though. you insist they’re fundamentally different, while i suggest that maybe they aren’t? your evidence that they’re different? i acknowledge the role of misogyny, while you deny it. at 18 i would have denied it, too. functionally, though, experientially, i’ll bet your story and mine have a near perfect overlap. our experiences likely mirror one another’s. and that is my point from above: there's no practical difference in distinguishing between you and me unless we’re trying to support the idea that transness is innate. and that distinction relies not on our actual, concrete, lived experiences, but on how we choose to describe them.

if i had to guess why you want to create this gulf between our experiences, it would be to rationalize why it is two very similar people with exceptionally similar experiences of functionally the same thing can reach different outcomes.

image 7: i just wanted to include this to publicly acknowledge that i had permission to post these screenshots.

but as i said in our chat message, LMAO @ the notion that my experience with transitioning doesn’t necessitate an opinion on transness!!!! what a wild stance to take! “your experience doesn’t necessitate an opinion on that experience.” lmao 😂

good luck out there, this world is a trip. i wish you well.

[kiefbowl]

no offense kb but how did you not hit peak larps before now lmao she dropped her pretenses of not being a total piece of shit to women a while ago

I know this is probably a slight but well meaning rib but let me use it as a moment to address something, and its’s what I’m going to call fishbowl perspective. The amount of time any one of us spends on tumblr and/or the exact use of their time while on it is unless explicitly addressed (and they are not lying) is unknown. It may seem like your favorite bloggers, your mutuals, your friends even are using tumblr as you do, but frankly it’s better to assume that most people are at most absent mindedly scrolling through their dashboard when they can if they want. So I suppose my answer is, it didn’t come to my attention. I’m not studying any of your tumblrs. Please god, I love you sisters, but don’t study mine. Study books. I open the app on compulsion, and I would rate my use of it as casual. Throughout the years, it hasn’t always been the case for varying reasons and by different methods, but at this time and space of my life it is a meme generator, and a sometimes outlet when I have none. I’m not “managing” it. There was a time I did and tried, it was tagged, I was attempting to write meaningful discourse, I was attempting to engage with the community more actively, I was selective in what I posted and reblogged. I was also miserable and unemployed-to-underemployed with a lot of time on my hands and a lot of anger in my heart, and lot of personal identity and self reflective questions I wanted answered, explored. I needed community (in general), I had lost some of that in my real life. I’ve had many strange and hard transitions in my life these past five years, not even related to feminism. I’ve had to deal with bed bugs, a sudden transition to live back home, a sick dog, poverty, a reconnection with a dear old old friend and their sudden unannounced disappearance from my life again, purchasing a car, moving like 8 times, a break up with a man I thought I was going to marry, an absolutely nightmarish traumatic intense relationship with a meth addict, my exploration of my sexuality and my own frustrations with loving women and yet so often choosing men, drunkenness, self harm, my brother’s OCD, my sisters transition into teenagerdom, sexual assault, sex, long ass dry spell, depression, starting therapy, losing friends, being cut off from people for my own actions, being cut off from people because of others actions, finding new friends, work promotions, a pinched back nerve, like four jobs, a disabilitating panic attack (that lost me a job), failure after pursuing a career change (twice, same career just like,,,total failure lmao), physical training, a completely new career that is taking off in the past year, new stretch marks, new tattoo, drugs, dying my hair purple, now dying it bright blonde, several marriages and pregnancies of my friends, money issues, money not issues!!!, watching my analysts getting promoted, thoughts of suicide, gaining 60 pounds, losing 10 pounds, and in general kicking ass. And that’s not extensive. How could it be. At times tumblr has been a tool, an escape, a bad habit, my savior, deleted off my phone, an addiction, a compulsion, a journal, a call for help....but the majority of the time it’s a meme catalogue.I didn’t notice because tumblr is not a fishbowl. We don’t know each other. It is not the responsibility of each of us to know exactly what happened each day in radfem/lesfem/libfem/marxist/genderist/acedisourse/sexpoli tumblr each day, especially since its impossible. It’s nebulous. We don’t log into the same dashboard every day. Ladies, free yourselves!!!! Your identities here will never be as tangible, measurable, worthy as your identities outside of tumblr. Foster your own real life, and caveat that tumblr exists there but as one simple experience in a vast sea of much more interesting and complex experiences, like an actual radical feminist club or your local chapter of the communist party lol Peace and love to the sister who sent me this, I adore you more than you can imagine. ✌️💕🌹

[ninjafairy86]

Tag game, why not?

I was tagged by @kyoki777 . It’s not like I should be doing homework or anything. lmao

one insecurity:

Honestly, I’m not really an insecure person. I’ve gotten to that age of adulthood where I really don’t give a fuck of what other people think of me anymore. lol But if I had to choose ONE, I’d say...uh...cooking a meal for someone I don’t know very well, I guess? It sounds stupid, but I put like zero effort into meals. I eat to survive; I don’t eat for pleasure.

two fears:

My son getting seriously hurt or dying.

Me dying and leaving my son behind to live his life without me there to take care of him.

three turn-ons:

Emotionally and financially stable.

Witty and dry sarcasm.

Responsible and laidback personality. (I guess this is like 6 things, but w/e)

four life goals:

Graduate.

Be happy with my life.

Raise a successful and happy child.

Create things: art, books, etc.

five things i like:

Creating things. I have a very vivid imagination.

Having enough money to pay all my rent and bills.

Going to the beach.

Helping people, especially children.

Exercising.

six weaknesses:

Children in need. It’s been used against me before.

Becoming obsessed with things easily.

Good-looking guys with dark hair, dark eyes, tattoos, and piercings.

Putting myself first.

Putting things off that I don’t want to do, but needs to be done.

Overly stubborn for no good reason.

seven things i love:

My son.

Myself.

Avocados.

Kippers.

Feminism.

Humanitarianism.

My friends.

tag eight people: Whoever feels like doing this. You can’t tell me what to do. (Here’s where the overly stubborn for no good reason comes into play.)

[renee-walker]

I was tagged by the fantastically delightful @allidon!

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 people

Nickname(s): Don’t really have one, save that my sister often omits the final A and just calls me Shan. Gender: Female Sign: Aries Height: 5′ 2″ Time: 3:20 p.m. Birthday: March 25 Favorite Bands: The Killers, Fleetwood Mac, The Dixie Chicks, Pink Floyd (I really go more for solo artists tbh) Favorite Solo Artists: Brandi Carlile, Emmylou Harris, Vienna Teng, Sarah McLachlan Last movie I watched:  The Matrix, because my students are writing their next paper about it. Last show I watched: Brooklyn 99 with S (we’re doing some reruns) When did I create this blog: I’m supposed to know this. Um, 2012? Maybe? What do I post: LOL, legit whatever I feel like. I mean it’s definitely weighted toward lots of MMB and gajillion other ladies I love, plus intersectional feminism, cats, snow, word funnies, trying to whistle in the dark about mental illness, and occasional personal stuff. I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of shit lulz.

What did I last Google: "How tall is David Harbour?” I am an embarrassing human, yikes. Other blogs: I have a couple URLs but I don’t use them. I can barely keep up with this one. Do I get asks: Every now and then, but not a lot. Why did I choose this URL: It’s my middle name, back when I entered the 24 fandom on LJ I had to add the 57 because someone had already stolen plain “leigh.” Following: 135 Followers: More than I deserve, I swear. *hearts in my eyes* Average hours of sleep: Ugh, like 5 unless it’s the weekend. Lucky number: Seven Instrument: I took piano for like nine years as a kid, but I suck. What am I wearing: Slippers, shitty jeans, one of S’s giant hoodies over another sweater. I keep it cold in the house hehe. Dream job: At this point, any job that pays me enough money to get officially divorced. Good lord, let me be free! Favourite Food: Oh god, I just love food. But like, tacos probably? Followed by almost any Indian dish on the menu. Last book I read: Fireworks, by @katiecotugno. *plugs Katie’s stuff more* 3 favorite fandoms: I don’t really fandom that much tbh! I’m on the fringes of the TWD fandom, and omg I love the TWD peeps in my snuggly corner. I enjoy watching the XF fandom flail about stuff, and I reblog a million posts from Stranger Things, but it’s not as if I’m participating. God, I should write some fucking thing...

I’m tagging: @hikingnerd, @emeejee, @danainthedogpark, @empressmcbride, @moandkatelive, @roslin, @faith5by5-1013, @madwomanlexie, @ellychandlers, and @somethingaboutsewing (that was ten and if I try to do 20 I’ll be here until 5 lmao)

[dawnofaqua]

Get to know me

31 questions about me

Tagged by: @dy-biadore thank you so much for the tag! ❤️

Rule: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs to get to know them better!

Nickname: I don’t have one, since my name - Erica - is pretty short. I wish I had a cool nickname tho!

Gender: Female

Star sign: Capricorn

Height: 5′6 I think? In Italy we have a different way to measure our height, so I can’t be sure - it’s 154 cm anyway

Time: 3:10 PM ( I should sleep but SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK ) 

Birthday: January 4th

Favorite bands: I don’t have a favorite band, but I do listen a lot to Fifth Harmony if they count

Favorite solo artists: Adore ( DUH ), Rupaul, Jinkx, Britney Spears, Adam Lambert and so on - I listen to all genre of music basically, so I could get going all day here

Song stuck in my head: Bubblegum Bitch by Marina and the Diamonds, I CAN’T STOP HUMMING IT EVERY TWO SECONDS

Last Movie Watched: Star Wars The Last Jedi ( I wanted to watch Coco for my birthday but I couldn’t go 😞 )

Last Show Watched: Like the Biadore trash I am, I was rewatching Season 6 of Drag Race just few minutes ago

When did I create this blog: My main blog is about videogames, tv series and stuff like that - so I didn’t want to annoy other people adding my new addiction - aka Drag Race but mostly Biadore - on it and decided to open this side blog :)

What do I post: Drag Race in general, but usually I can’t stop my Biadore ass from posting mostly about them - especially now since everytime I get a notification from one of them I can’t help but hoping they’re announcing they’re dating LMAO

Last thing I Googled: “Blame it on Bianca Del Rio”’s tour, I had to check the price of the tickets for a person I know - I ALREADY GOT MINE MONTHS AGO YAYYYYY

Do you get asks: Nope, but I’d love to chat with someone! Especially someone that can freak out with me about Biadore 😍

Why did you choose your URL: Because I didn’t know how to call it and ended up choosing this to make it simple ahahah but well, I mostly post about Biadore and sometimes Trixya + random queens, so I suppose it’s good!

Following blogs: More than 900 lmao, I’ve been on this site for far too long

Followers: Here 28, on my main blog 191

Favorite colours: Black and purple

Average hours of sleep: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK ( 4/5 hours more or less ) 

Lucky number: 4, because it means death in a lot of cultures and I love being a dark bitch LMAO

Instruments: I wish I could play something, I just did guitar for a few years and flute as school

What I am wearing: ... My pajama, not a very cute image tho, it’s too big for me 

How many blankets do I sleep with: 2 or 3 ( I’m always cold lmao ) 

Dream job: I really don’t know. I would love to do something about feminism and equality, but there’s no way I can achieve it here in Italy, so... I also would really love to learn how to sing or act well, but after the last rough years I just can’t do it

Dream trip: LA because I wanted to go to America FOR YEARS, and I really enjoy the view ( Plus hey, Bianca and Adore ) or New York 

Favorite food: Duh, italian food

Nationality: Italian and, unfortunately, I live in Italy lmao

Favorite song right now: I can’t love you from Adore, I literally tear up everytime I hear it

What languages do you speak: English ( Well, more or less ) and Italian

I opened this blog just recently so I don’t have ppl to tag, but whoever wants to make this please, do it and let me read! 😘

[magsy-blog1]

11 Questions tag

hhhhhh thx to my beautiful @cent-dix-huit for tagging me

1. 3 songs u started listening to this week

well maybe not this week but recently i’ve been playing ‘dance like we’re making love’ by ciara, 'gucci’ by jessi and 'dusk till dawn’ by zayn and (my everlasting love) sia on a loop

(also bts’ new album especially mic drop bc dude that shit is LiT)

2. what is your favorite conspiracy theory

what are thooose

(no but srsly tho I legit don’t even know any so answering this is kinda complicated)

3. tell me about a memory that you’d like to keep forever

it’s not exactly like a particular one but every dinner at home when we don’t fight and there’s no tension and nobody shouts and I just make my mom laugh so hard she cries is a tiny, beautiful piece of happiness that I wish sometimes I could record and watch again when things aren’t really at their best

4. your house is on fire! what are the 5 things you take?

(first of thank u so much for making those five and not only one bc I couldn’t have been able to answer)

my plushie (it’s an old worn out elephant but I can’t sleep without it so)

the two rings that look rly alike, are from the same store and were gifted to me by @cent-dix-huit and my mom which I have on basically everyday

my usb flash drive on which there is about everything i’ve written these past sixteen years

my favorite book aka The Great Gatsby

and probably my Pizza oversized sweater (also a present from @cent-dix-huit good god, you really are too good to me)

5. your go-to feel good food?

the kebab place two streets from my school

best fucking meal ever

6. you can meet someone that inspires you, what would you tell them?

i’d meet parris goebel and tell her she has made my love for dance and myself and my body grow so much from the moment i’ve discovered her work up until now; that she has taught me that women can be sexy and provocative and show off their bodies and be perfect, not vulgar, not obscene, not sluts; that I look up to her so much and I admire her art; that there’s quite frankly not much in this wolrd i’d want more than get to dance with her

7. where would u like to be right now?

either at a concert, at a party or under a blanket with @cent-dix-huit, junk food and mamma mia! on her laptop

8. chicken or pork?

uGGgggh u can’t do that to me

chicken but I’m only saying this bc sadly pork isn’t always with caramel while every kind of chicken is always the best kind

9. if you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?

i’ve pretty much wanted to be able to fly since I was a little kid so

idk I just think it’s so cool you know?? i’ve always had this dream of seeing the world from above and it just feels like it would be so great

(on another level i’d very much love to read into ppl’s minds bc srsly, that shit’d be rly useful)

10. what advice would u give 10-year-old you?

brush your hair. seriously, brush it. comb it. do something.

and stop cartwheeling while walking, yes, it’s impressive and kinda cool, but mostly it’s just weird and embarrassing to your parents. and on top of it you’ll get permanent scars on your palms for doing it on all types of surfaces and you really don’t want that.

11. rant a little. let it out.

I’m so sick of people calling others fag or bitch and getting offended, or worse laughing at your face, when you call them out on it because it’s not okay

I’m so sick of people not acknowledging your existence and making you feel insecure about yourself for the rest of the week and believing you did something wrong because you made explicit eye contact and they just turned around while you both clearly know the other was right there

I’m so sick of people saying “don’t eat this, you’re gonna get fat” or “why do you eat so much? you’re gonna get fat” like being fat is some kind of disease absolutely no one wants to catch because then no one would love you - and because I love food and I love eating and i’ve seriously heard this sentence way too much in my life already and I’m sick of it because honestly, I don’t really give a fuck if I get fat as long as I feel good but you’re already making it way too hard for me to like myself the way I am just now, so thank you for ruining my confidence

I’m so sick of people thinking it’s alright to make jokes that are racist/homophobic/misogynistic and brushing it off when I get pissed of with “it’s just a joke” “just between friends” well you know what, jokes about me belonging in the kitchen or gay men being effeminate in a sense that is bad because you shouldn’t be like a woman when you aren’t one because it’s already degrading enough to be one or about black people eating bananas or about asian people having small dicks don’t make me laugh, have never made me laugh and will never make me laugh so yeah, sorry to be such a buzzkill but if you’re gonna do these types of jokes, just don’t

I’m so sick of feeling pressured everyday, to look good, to be cool, to know the right thing to say at the right time with the right people, to not be boring, because honestly all of this requires so much more social aptitudes than I have and I’m already way too tired

I’m sick of people telling me to shut up when I start ranting about feminism because honestly YOU shut up, you absolute piece of shit, I’m actually trying to educate you on something that you do unconsciously and which is really bad and instead of telling me to go back to my stove you should just shut it and listen to me because it’s not because I’m not a boy that my words hold less value

And I’m so sick of this world telling me I have to know what I’m gonna do and work in as a grown-up when I’m barely sixteen and still a kid with a head full of dreams that I really don’t want you to break as well.

Guess that is all lmao, here come my questions, and anyone, just feel free to answer them, love y’all

1. what’s the one thing you’d really want to be like super good at?

2. what’s the movie that always makes you smile so damn much and makes you so damn happy no matter how many times you’ve watched it already?

3. if you had to choose only one fic to read for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

4. what AU would you like to live in?

5. what is the most important lesson life has given you so far?

6. what is your favorite instant noodles flavor I need to know

7. give me some chill songs to listen to plss?

8. do you like anyone?

9. what does family mean to you?

10. if you got to learn a language, which one would it be?

11. if you had one last place to go to before you died, where’d you go?