#I will say don't feel pressured if you can't My cats gonna get the care she needs no matter what

[hysterical-random-things]

Emergency Commissions!!

So my cat Nugget is currently dealing with some health issues, and needs surgery. So I need to recoup costs from my very expensive babygirl, so I'm temporary opening up 2 types of special commissions for the next couple of days — 30 USD flat color bust commissions — 35 USD TFA Style Mockups

(give me a transformer not in animated style, and I'll draw my take on them in it)

I'm down to do both OC and canon characters, only one character per commission. My normal TOS still apply! Please reach out either by DM or through my email, Hystericalrt@gmail.com if you are interested. If you just want to help out and have some change to spare, here's a link to my paypal. Also depending on factors this has kinda taken all my free time/energy so while I'm going to try to maintain mermay through this I may need to bow out this year

Below the cut is the cat tax of my babygirl Nugget if for folks if anyone wants to see my girl

Here she is, Nugget in all her glory

[sim-patelle]

Ushijima Wakatoshi headcanons

fluff! little angst! mentioning of alcohol!

---------------------------------------------------

●Would bring you a little bouquet of flowers when you come back from big exams

●He especially likes violet asters, it feels like they would fit to his personality

●Ushijima is kind of a talker around you

●If you and him are out in public and you both overhear a bit of tea/situations from other persons, he would later bring it up again and would discuss with/talk to you about it

●He is an honest person, but he knows when he shouldn't brag about some things

●When you play music from laufey through the house/appartment and sing with it, he wouldn't mind

●After all, he would even sing along, especially to "from the start" because he found it from Tiktok

●It also reminds him of the love between you

●Short situation: while you want to clean up the appartment with Ushijima, you asked if he's okay if you put some music on. "Do it, I don't mind" he says and starts to wash the dishes in the kitchen while you clean the fridge. You sing along Laufeys songs. 'have to get this off my chest, I'm telling you today'

●"that when I talk to you, oh, cupid walks right through and shoots an arrow through my heart" you hear along with your voice. You stop and turn your head around with your eyes widened to Ushijima. "You like Laufey?" "Yes, it's a good song" he says as if it was nothing and hums along. Your heart melted on the spot.

●If you think he would be good at cooking, you're wrong. He would most likely just cut the ingredients while you cook the meal

●Ushijima is not much of a drinker when it comes to alcohol, he barely drinks on parties but if he does, then it's most likely Radler or a glass of sparkling wine

●As he gets older, he tried some whiskey and gin, but he still would drink it just on special occasions

●And he is known for his silent greetings, he greets you with just one hand up and stares at you unintentionally

●If he would make/do music, He would be in a choir singing alto or tenor

●If you wanna surprise him with a place, bring him to a lake with little cliffs. Ushijima would love just swimming around with you and jumping off the little cliffs.

●He's a bookworm but he wouldn't call himself one, and if there would be a homework to read a book/novel, he would read it immediately

●He really likes reading old novels, especially Jane Austen and Kafka

●Love Language : Acts of service and quality time are his top. He doesn't mind touching you or being touched, he's open with it

●If he shows his love by physical touch, he definetly gives you kisses on your forehead and head while hugging light

●If you feel down, don't be shy to cuddle with him, asking is the best thing to do

●If he receives physical touch, he loves it when you stroke litghly with your nails over his neck, the sensation is beautiful to him

●Ushijima is always gonna help you with chores throughout the house, there are even days when only he does the housework. He likes the feeling of you finally relaxing and showing you love while helping out

●Don't be shy to compliment him, it's making him a little bit shy even if it's not noticable

●But don't expect much compliments from Ushijima, as he is not much of an all-around talker

●But he would take notice if words of affirmation is your love language, just so he can show how he cares about you

●Be ready for some late evening/afternoon walks, it calms 'toshis heart

----little angst here

●He cries, very rarely but he does, and he thinks he shouldn't bc it's a' sign of weakness'

●All because of the pressure he got from his family and work, sometimes he can't endure it and he should know that that's okay

●He cries without saying anything, he just sits and little tears run over his cheeks, silent like a cat sleeping

●And as ushijima realizes, he tries to overcome his sadness and just wipes his tears quickly but steady away

●We go away from the angst now

●Ushijima is a person that doesn't really listen to music in his freetime, sure he has some songs he likes but he listens to podcasts more

●'toshi randomly gives advices unintentionally, like he doesn't even notice it

----<3----

[emotionally-creative-rogue]

DOMINATION LINES!!

THANK YOU @caramelcheesegay FOR COMING UP WITH 90% OF THESE, ILY<333

DOMINATED:

Scout:

-“Can’t stun me if you can’t hit me! I’m a freakin’ blur, dipshit!”

-“I am ALWAYS gonna dodge that. When will you LEARN, man?”

-“Oh, oh, oh! I’m STUNNED at how bad you’re doin’!”

Soldier:

-“Don’t swing your puny stick at me, maggot! You come from fake America!!!”

-“I AM IMPERVIOUS TO ALL OF YOUR ATTACKS, SYRUP-SLURPER!”

-“Get off the battlefield and go play some hockey, weakling!”

Demo:

-“Aye, I bet you thought it’d be easy ta kill me, didn’t’che? Well, iaarrghhnnn *snore*.”

-“You call tha’ a grenade?? Me blind Mum farts worse than that wee thing!” 

-“Don’ come a’ me in those ghoulish boots lad, I’ll blast ‘em right offa yer feet!” 

Engie:

-“You’re just a little piece a’ sentry fodder now, aren’t’cha?”

-“You make for some real shitty target practice, son.”

-“Tell me ‘bout those stun grenades sometime, yeah?”

Heavy:

-“Ha! Leetle bug man is crushed. Like bug. Leetle bug. Feed you to Archimedes, Buggy.”

-“Small jumpy man- not Scout? There are two small jumpy men???”

-“You think loud noise and bright light are enough to take down Heavy??? I am killing you now!!”

Medic:

-“Oohoo! Free organs! Young, too!”

-“Ach, that reminds me- I need to feed my birds.”

-“Ohhh, sorry little boy! Go play with your crayons, ja?”

Sniper:

-“Piss off, y’ jumpy git. Bloody grasshopper…”

-“Awh, get quicker next time, won’tcha?” 

-“Dead like a ‘roo on the side o’ the road!”

Spy:

-“For someone named ‘The Rogue’, you are certainly a pack thinker.”

-“Oho! I am *stunned* by your lack of skill!”

-“Not so *Dexx*trous now, hm?”

DOMINATING:

Scout: 

-“No runnin’ in the halls, freshman!”

-“Bonk? More like thonk, eh? ‘Cause that’s the sound your hollow head makes when I hit ya!” 

-“Hah! Too slow!” 

Soldier: 

-“Y'know, a 3" piece of rubber can do a lotta damage, Trench Monkey!”

-“Hah! Oh, I mean- I'm sooo soooorey aboot tha', Bud! (snicker)”

-“A cat on a sloped roof is braver than the entire U.S. Military, Booklicker!” 

Pyro: 

-“Ack! Sorry, Firecracker!” 

-“Oh shit, I think I’m still on fire. Damn it, these were my favorite pants!” 

-“Hey we're, uh, still on for s'mores later... right?”

Demo:

-“Pen's mightier than the sword, cyclops! Get it? 'Cause I'm an artist and you- yeah, nevermind”

-“Someone must have put a little sleepy sauce in your mickeys, bud, ‘cause you are NOT on top of it today!” 

-“Smile and wait for the flash!” 

Heavy:

-“Somebody order ten thousand pounds a’ dead weight? (Snort)” 

-“It’s really hard to miss your pressure points, y’know.” 

-“Move it, ya big lug! You’re in the way!” 

Engineer: 

-“GRENAAAAAADE! I WIN! Ya proud of me, da-uhhh.. dude?” 

-“See ya round, Daaaeengie! I said Engie. Short for Engineer. That is you. You are- I’ll go.” 

-“Bam! And another one down, and another one down! ANOTHER ONE BITES THE BO STAFF!!” 

Medic: 

-“oohohoh, Maybe I can try some experiments on you this time!- Y'know, put your lessons to good use!”

-“Doc, you seriously gotta take care of your health. Damn hypocrite... (Mocking voice) 'Do az I say, not az I do!' my ass!”

-“Guess that's what happens when you don't follow your own advice, thanks for the hands-on lesson!”

Sniper:

-“There, away from the noise now! Just how you like it, Dee!”

-“You may wink at your opponents, but ya gotta take the shot as well, y'know! Can't charm 'em to death!”

-“I just... un-cozied your... camper. I'm having a bad day please be nice.”

Spy:

-“Crisse de connard! -Aheh, not used to gettin' berated in your own language, eh?”

-“Va te faire foutre, merde de con!”

-“Bein Tabarnak, it feels good to turn the tables! Hah, deserved!”

Taunt ideas:

-Using the Bo-Staff as a microphone

-Using the bo-staff as a rifle(making fun of sniper)

-Juggling the stun grenades, almost dropping one and catching it in time before glancing around to see if anyone saw him and putting them away again

OCS:

DOMINATED:

Strat (@emotionally-stressed-strategist):

-“How are you this bad? I’m dominating you with a PEN, Rogue, A PEN.” 

-“Rock, skull. Man down.” 

-“One less dot on the map- don’t come back, yeah?”

Arrow (@emotionally-dead-archer):

-"Hah! Gotcha! Oh, gotta love a little sibling rivalry, am I right?"

-“Bigger sibling? Not really.”

-“Hey! My aim is getting better! Thanks for the target practice!”

DOMINATING:

Strat:

-“I’m done bein’ your wingman if you keep this up.”

-“That’s what happens when you steal my art supplies!”

-“How do you still not have ink poisoning? Dude, seriously.”

Arrow:

-“There! I make for a pretty good role model! You get to see my stuff first-hand!”

-“You're adopted. Sorry.”

-“I think it's almost bedtime, kiddo.”

Jet (@emotionally-broken-robot):

-"Hey, uh, does this count as Softwaregore?"

[toxi-works-at-culvers]

also what are some of your headcanons for him? i'd love to know:)!

ohh i have so many thoughts about him, thank you for asking! :3c

some general stuff first i guess? i think he genuinely loved his kids! and i think that he also liked kids in general, since he opened up fredbear's and all. i don't think he was the best dad, but i think he genuinely tried. and i don't really like when he's portrayed as abusive because i don't feel like it makes sense for his character.

basic stuff: 6 ft 2 in tall, built like a fuckin twig, scariest gray/green eyes you will ever see. charming bastard smile. missing a tooth because he's definitely gotten into a fight before. wears purple in almost every outfit and dresses more formally than needed. bisexual. somewhere in his mid-30's in 1983

hobbies include robotics, designing animatronics, acting, journaling, and juggling (canon btw)

british. that's not even a headcanon but i feel like it's being forgotten lately (matthew curtis' voicelines for him + he's not gonna have an accent in the movie… sad!)

very afraid of death

has a very high opinion of himself

probably had a cat at one point. i feel like he would

i think his hair would start graying kind of early because of stress. the man's a workaholic and has definitely done more than a few all-nighters :P

i also think he got married kind of early (in his 20's or so) from societal pressure and also oopsies!! accidental pregnancy! so yeah. michael was an accident but william still loved him - but once elizabeth and evan were born william kind of ends up ignoring michael in favor of them. and that causes michael's teen angst to get especially angsty which is why the bite of 83 happens

he 100% used to have a thing with henry. there's no way they weren't at least a little fruity. (from the silver eyes, "a search of his house had found (…) stacks of journals full of raving paranoia, passages about henry that ranged from wild jealousy to near worship." tell me that's not homosexual.) but anyways they both have families now, yet william still lowkey kind of wants henry. but will never have him because they are both doomed by the narrative :) (edit to also say. they are like a divorced old couple tbh.)

his opinion about henry swaps around a lot. sees henry as being superior and better than him even if, technically, william has made wayyy more advanced animatronics. or sometimes thinks that he's the best and henry would be nothing without him.

and now his personality!! i kind of try to base most of it on how he's portrayed in the books, with my own touch added on. basically he's silly! he's a great actor and he's very theatrical. he's also very charismatic, good at interacting with people as well as getting what he wants. but underneath all that he's kind of an asshole, he's really selfish and only really cares about himself. he's egotistcal and he doesn't admit his faults because he thinks he can't be wrong. so yeah. (this actually got really long so i condensed it down. more elaboration under the cut)

gets springlocked and dies in 1993. returned to the fnaf 1 location because he wanted to destroy the old animatronics, thinking that it might free the souls and let him avoid their wrath or something idk. kind of backfired on him.

post springtrapping he's had a lot of time to reflect, but rather than feeling guilty he feels like he needs to get revenge. he wants to kill everyone who's ever wronged him and that's what keeps him going, even in death. (also the only one he might ACTUALLY somewhat regret is killing charlie, because of how it broke his relationship with henry. but otherwise he doesn't feel guilty at all.)

and most importantly, the fnaf 6 ending (with henry's speech) is canon and he's dead after that :) no glitchtrap, no mimic, no FUCKING FEAR GAS!1!1!11

(the original, longer version of his personality here lol) i think that william is actually a very silly goofy guy! he's dramatic, he's an entertainer and an actor as shown by how he acts when he's wearing the springbonnie suit. although he's definitely playing it up for an effect there, he's still kind of uhh. theatrical i think. but he's also very charismatic and could probably smooth talk his way out of prettty much anything, which is part of the reason he doesn't get arrested after the MCI (also the lack of evidence). at the same time he has kind of a weird vibe to him, you can just tell there's something wrong with this dude, like maybe he's trying a little too hard to look normal.

and thennnn there's what's beneath the surface. william is kind of insensitive, self-centered/selfish, and egotistical. he also absolutely refuses to admit his own faults or shortcomings. something bad happened? not his fault! he was wrong about something? no he wasn't! another thing, william is very paranoid and usually feels like anyone or anything could be a threat to him (mostly because of that one passage from the silver eyes, "had spent so much of his life fighting like a cornered rat." and ANOTHER thing from the silver eyes, "he had taken on the mantle of bitter sadism as an integral part of himself. he would strike out against others and revel in their pain, feeling righteously that the world owed him his cruel pleasures.")

at first he kills charlie because he wants to bring evan back, and feels he deserves some kind of revenge on henry because it was HIS animatronic that did the bite after all, right? but along the way he realizes he enjoys killing. and that it feels so good to have power when he hasn't for most of his life. so he keeps going, and eventually all that comes crashing down on him. and it's tragic! because he used to have what many would call a perfect life. but he completely ruined that with his own selfish desires.

[doughguts-art]

I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME.... I'M A JOKE OF A MAN...... Okay okay okay not gonna reblog to the last one again cuz I'm not one to make super long threads, I'll just explode your inbox again hahshd,,,,

Alright where do I even begin?? Um, first, did something happen to Bandit to make him resort to doing what he does now, or did he just do it out of boredom? Was it that he needed adventure or needed his life to change? Second, can I hear your imaginary scenarios where Bandit meets the guardians??? Pretty please???? I'm really interested to see how he'd treat them!! Third, you said you had a game concept featuring Just Finch, right? Is the game itself currently in production or do you never plan on actually making it? Cuz if you need. Production help.? I'm always willing to be of service?? Okay there's a really low chance you'd accept a stranger's help on a personal project ESPECIALLY since said stranger is still kinda sorta an amateur at everything ever but I'm already so used to helping everyone around me with anything they're doing at any point in time so I thought it'd be kind of me to offer anyways. Sorry though... Anyway back to the Bandit questions! Fourth, if Bandit encountered a burnt, what's his first gut reaction? Obviously I think he'd most likely pull out his gun, but how does he feel? Is he not at all fazed by these shells of people that have become more hostile than they were before, maybe because it's a usual occurrence? Or is part of him still afraid, either because he's disturbed by the uncanny horror in front of him, or because he's aware that if he's not careful enough (despite all the tickets he has for himself) that could easily be him? I need to know if this guy has fears or not!! Fifth, I can't help but be curious to know if there's any songs you associate with Bandit? If I have the time I'll prolly listen to the songs mentioned too lmao,,, And lastly, my favorite thing to think about when it comes to OFF OCs, does Bandit have a competence list? If so, can I please read it, I love making and looking at fanmade competences for some reason, probably because of how creative the nonsensical titles can get while sticking to a single theme, mixed with the general role of the character in battle matching with their personality. But if I'm the only person here that actually cares about that stuff I totally get it!!! And I don't want you to feel pressured to make a set of competences just for this ask either, if you didn't make one you didn't make one and that's okay. I just thought I'd ask if you happened to have one. I think that's all I have for right now, thank you :D

Thank you for following :D Alright, to the questions!

I think you've hit the first question that I can't answer outright because of Lore secrets I'm saving for askbandit. Partially related to the X story, that's all I'll say

Wuhhhh imaginary guardian scenarios?? They're pretty vague but here's some ideas Dedan - Dedan getting increasingly angrier and angrier as he tries to order Bandit around and fails. I also imagine Dedan being confused on who Bandit is, like "DO YOU EVEN WORK HERE?" and Bandit's just "Shouldn't you know that?" Japhet - Like the sketch, Japhet would flap around Bandit and fret about the X. Bandit would probably keep the bird at arm's length though, he rarely lets people close, and Japhet wouldn't be one of those people lol. Enoch - Enoch would have a special bone to pick with Bandit because of the sugar smuggling. He'd try to squish Bandit Judge? - Bandit loves cats. Judge would get many pets, scritches, and treats Sucre? - Sucre is a sugar dealing client for sure. Queen? - I imagine Bandit sarcastically complimenting the architecture of the Room. I imagine the Queen would be passive, maybe laugh a little at his silly musings. Hugo?? - Kick the baby (LMAO KIDDING, KIDDING). Truthfully, maybe they'd talk about comics or something. Idk the room is a weird place and I don't think Bandit and Hugo would ever purposefully meet

Yes, the game is called Project GoldFinch, and it is in production. I haven't done enough to do another big dev progress post, but here's the announcement post if you want the little info I've provided about it. I appreciate the offer to help, but this is a personal project and I feel more comfortable doing the work myself.

This is actually a question I've gotten on askbandit and haven't answered yet, but Bandit is not intimidated by Burnts. Most Burnts (in my lore) aren't necessarily violent, or burn quick enough to that they don't do that much damage, so Bandit wouldn't pay it any mind. If a Burnt was to attack, he would probably choose to avoid it until it recovers rather than shoot though. Also, Bandit doesn't burn, can't burn*, so he doesn't worry. He has no fear. * this info could only be found on his artfight profile previously. Public info but out-of-the-way.

I really should make a Bandit playlist, but the song I currently associate him with the most is Catch Me If You Can by Set It Off. Obvious reasons for that one. I also listen to the music used for his shop theme in UNKNOWN. Also ALSO, I commissioned a really cool person (hai @amygdalum hope you don't mind the tag) to create a Bandit theme inspired by Synchronicity, so if you wanna listen to that, here ya go! I did the cover art on that one.

And finally, competence list. Funny story, I have never actually thought about making a competence list for him, but when Bandit was still the Final Boss in RISE, he did have one (so credit to Brandy again for this, screenshot ripped straight from the old files). These are thematically relevant to his role in the game more than how he is now, but I gotta say, I really like Reckless Charge. If I were to keep any of these, it would be Reckless Charge. That feels very him. The other ones are badass but I see them fitting Tate better. I don't remember if they were changed for Tate or not, but either way, great attack names all around.

Thanks again for the asks ^^

[reidsaurora]

Make. Me. Write!!!

i was tagged by: @writer-in-theory

Rules and Regulations:

Make a 24hr poll listing the titles of every WIP you want to work on (It’s fine if you only have one, still make a poll for the vote count)

Tag anyone you think might also enjoy this game (No pressure of course)

Whichever WIP title gets the most votes write 1 sentence for every vote. If it gets more votes than your comfortable with, feel free to swap to words.

If somehow that completes the fic or reaches the end of the chapter, move to the WIP with the second highest votes and continue where you left off on your sentence/word count. Repeat until you reach your goal.

(Optional) Share what you wrote in a new Tumblr post with a link to your original poll or attached it to a reblog

idk why but i feel the need to give a lil backstory or explanation of some sort for each one so you know what you're getting into 🫡

backstories and np tags under the cut 🫶🏻🧡

Cowboy!Steve Harrington wip

this one's self explanatory, you can go read the first three fics in this series over on my nsfw blog, @hornyhornyhimbos 🖤✨️

JBU (Reidaway)

so, i teased this series a little bit when SYGB ended but i never really fully committed to writing it because i have a set beginning but i have no clue what to do for the ending 😬

i'm not gonna spoil it because y'all know me, i'm a writer and i have to tease everything but let's just say it involves forced proximity, sorta work rivals to maybe lovers, and black cat!elle greenaway x golden retriever!spencer reid <3

Eat Your Young (Spencer Reid)

i can't explain this much other than that i was extremely h word when i came up with the plot for this and i was playing "Eat Your Young" by Hozier on repeat when it happened

I'm Too Pretty For This (Warren Rojas)

this was a request i got like two months ago when i first announced i was gonna be writing for DJATS characters and i got like two paragraphs in and i hated it so i never finished it 😂

basically something happens between the band members of the group that are opening for DJATS on the Aurora tour and it somehow makes their lead singer realize she might have a thing for Warren 😏

AFTR (Steve Harrington)

this will be my first serious Steve series. i know that the Loriverse exists and the Cowboyverse exists but this one is actually a serious series that i wanted to write for the summer and i just never did

a brief summary without giving too much away is that Stancy happens but doesn't last and somehow Reader/FMC (haven't decided which yet) ends up spending the summer as Steve's rebound of sorts?

LMLAF rewrite (Hotchniss)

so, a few of you may remember this series i posted back in February of 2022. i was extremely depressed and lonely so i did what any normal human would... i wrote a story about Hotchniss being friends with benefits.

however, that story was posted on this account, where I do not post smut. well, other than that one chapter of SYGB but we don't need to go there rn akshksjsjsj

anyway, basically this would be the spicier rewritten version of that where i don't leave readers in the dark about what went on between Hotchniss after Haley died ;)

All Your Being, pt 2 (Spencer Reid)

another fic i wrote where i tried desperately to keep things closed door until now when i decided i don't care about that anymore 😂

in case you guys don't remember this fic, i'll link it here but basically Spencer and midsized!reader have been together for six months but have yet to do the nasty because she's afraid of what he'll think about her body. this part two would basically just be him saying f!ck it and showing her that every body is a beautiful body 🫶🏻

Tolerate It (Spencer Reid)

just go listen to "tolerate it" by Taylor Swift. it would be easier for you to do that than for me to tell you about the dark sh!t that ensued in this fic... i was at my lowest low when i wrote this and you'll see that if i ever post it 🥲

well now that that's over with, how bout some no pressure tags!! 🥳🎉

@reidsbookclub @dungeons-are-too-cold @nomajdetective @bejeweledmunson @rupsmorge @reidselle @lukeclvez @lcvingprentjss @serenity-lattes @writingquillsandpainpills

[ambivalentgaylor]

A few very normal thoughts:

Okay so I've just watched the Lavender Haze video for the first time after avoiding it due to being pissed at her for heterosexualising the term, and have noticed the following: the weather guy on the TV points to the number 78...I googled and 1978 was when the gay pride flag was first flown in San Francisco. Also, what's with the purple she's using in every video? In Anti-Hero it came oozing out of an egg. Everyone (well, lesbians) knows purple/lavender is a lesbian colour.

But I worry that maybe she's just so excruciatingly straight she really does think "lavander haze" was a term commonly used in the 1950s after seeing it used once on a mad men episode. So sad. But she's also scattering the bi flag colours absolutely everywhere, and she is not an idiot. She's a smart lady. I cannot accept that she'd be so silly and detached as to not understand that it is exploitative to employ lesbian and bisexual coding in her art simply as a way of "supporting" lesbians and bisexuals. Like, surely not.

Since her breakup I've therefore allowed myself to have lesbian interpretations of some of her lyrics on Midnights. So that's fun for me.

At first, taking it at face value and not wanting to read into it, I thought "I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me, no deal - the 1950s shit they want from me" was just her speaking about media/public/fan pressure to marry her man, and her desire to ignore that pressure to just feel good in her relationship as it is. But if I allow myself to be a lesbian about it, one might say that she was in a relationship with a man who wanted marriage and was way into sex-roles and she was like "Ugh... I feel the lavender haze aka my lesbian tendencies from previous relationships with women creeping up on me...no deal to these men who want that 1950s shit from me...I'm damned if I stay in this straight relationship due to fear of what people might say if I explore my love of the ladies a bit more... mayhaps I'll move towards this lavender haze..." (this interpretation is based on the theory that she's bi, because I don't think I can bring myself to believe she's actually a lesbian and all her public hetero relationships have been "beards").

Anyway, the Bejewelled video. In which she wants the castle, not the man. This goes back to what I said a while ago (to myself and one other person, don't worry about it), about how her comeback after the Kanye thing would likely not have gone down well if she didn't have a boyfriend to point to like, "Whom cares about any of you bc I am all loved up with this amazing man, haha to the losers who expected a bitter revenge album". Making the rep album about love allowed her to regain the kingdom keys Kanye took away...and get her castle/superstardom back...and now she no longer needs to show the world she can be in a long-term hetero relationship and isn't the "whiny overdramatic harpy who disses men in her music too much and always plays the victim" the world characterised her as. She has the castle and left the prince after he proposed because she was like, "Sike! Just needed this castle actually." And we know she would not have regained the kingdom keys as quickly if she didn't have a "stable het relationship" to point to, because society doesn't love and admire a strong, independent woman with cats. That's a witch, girls.

Also: at the end of the Bejeweled video, once she's in the castle having ghosted the prince, she looks out and sees dragons flying around... perhaps envisioning what is to come if she were to "come out"...?

In saying that, another interpretation could be that she's saying she's gonna go back to being the "annoying serial dater who can't keep a man and complains too much" that everyone hates, bc she doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't want kids. And so she is predicting the criticism that will come from her preferring the castle/solo success to settling down like a "good woman" should.

See? I'm allowing for the possibility that every lesbian and bisexual clue she has ever dropped over many years has been purely accidental on account of straight people being clueless. You never know, good not to put all your eggs in one basket, pays to be flexible in life, etc.

Anyway, I don't know if any of this has been said before because I have been completely disconnected from this whole era out of bitterness, so if you're a serious and professional gaylor truther reading this like "um...duh" then...fine. Fine!

[sushiwife]

***Warning: talk and description of death***

At 10:25 pm on October 31, my dad began showing signs of a stroke. He'd had a few over the years, so my mom was atleast able to figure out that he was having difficulties.

I had stepped out temporarely to assist someone at my job, and was back only minutes later. As I walked up to the door, I noticed that the t.v. was off and mom was sitting in front of dad. After spending the majority of my life helping my mom take care of my dad, I immediately knew something was wrong.

The very first thing I noticed getting into the house is that my dad looked like he had melted into his chair. That the best way to describe it. Poor posture, glassy eyes, slow to respond, drool coming out of the right side of his mouth. There was blood too. I started to assess him, asking him who, what, where, and when. He answers all of those correctly. We take his blood pressure, it's normal for him, a little on the high side. He complains that he can't move his right leg. Mom points out he can't move his right arm either. We spend just a couple minutes trying to figure out what was going on and we determine that he is absolutely have a neurological episode of some sort. To what degree, we weren't sure.

The funny thing is, if you have had any sort of neurological problem, sometimes having an infection or even pneumonia starts off looking like a neuro episode. It makes you feel real stupid when you call 911 and it turns out he just has a bad UTI.

Either way, there was a problem and we couldn't get him to the car with the way he was. I call 911, and dispatch guides me through another assessment. She tells me that an ambulance is on their way. What clued me in that this was different than any other time, is that she tells me to stay on the phone. Usually they ask if it's okay to end the call as someone was on their way. She asks me more questions.

My husband has come upstairs at this point. I told him I was on the phone with 911 and he immediately begins to help me clear the living room so that the EMTs can assist my dad with less difficulty. He tosses the cat in the bathroom. Mom starts to grab her things, phone, tablet, charge cords, it's gonna be a long night.

EMTs arrive quickly. They begin to do their own assessment, asking us questions, asking dad questions, taking his blood pressure, checking his glucose ( he's not diabetic). The get what I call 'The Chair'. It looks as the name suggests, but it also has straps, handles, and wheels. They get dad situated.

One EMT has sleeve tattos. I hear my dad say "Nice tats." It's slurred at this point. My bloods begins to run ice cold.

The get my dad loaded up, I help mom pack her to go bag. Once they begin to roll away, I notice that they left their medic bag. I hear that it's bad if they do that, and I get it, with all the stuff in there, however I don't feel it to be unprofessional. I feel like it shows how focused they were on my dad and making sure that he was tended to in a timely manner. I tell mom to let one of the nurses know that the EMTs left the bag. They will know how to get a hold of them.

Mom heads to the hospital. I don't go because of COVID. The whole ordeal takes place in about 20 minutes.

Mom calls me a very short time later. They hadn't put him into a ER room yet, he went straight to CT. Mom tells me it's not looking good.

The EMT comes by to grab his bag.

Mom calls again, dad is being transfered to the nearest Trauma 1 center, an hour and a half away by car. He is being airlifted. She says once he gets loaded onto the helicopter, she'll head home to get clothes and other toiletries. She's called my brother, he's coming to drive her. She says it's really bad, but he's still awake and talking. I start gathering her things, then my things. I tell my husband to get his things.

Mom gets back from the hospital, they had to sedate, then intubate him because he started retching. She tells me to wait to drive. Come after you've gotten rest, she tells me. There's no point in both of us being exhausted. My brother shows up and they leave.

I switch between packing and panicing. I barely get three hours of sleep.

I fucking book it to the hospital. Exhausted, worried, I didn't know what to think. When I get there my mom gives me a hug. She asks me if I want to go see dad. I say yes. She walks me to where the unit is. We have to be buzzed in. She shows me the way to his room. I walk around the corner and into the room I go. And my heart just breaks.

There is my dad. Laying there, tube down his throat, leaning to the one side, not awake. I break down.

Mom tells me that we are now waiting for my sister to get here so we can have a meeting with the doctors. My heart sank.

It was a short while later that my sister arrives. Mom alerts the doctor and we all go into a little conference room. He's had a massive stroke. There is significant damage, substantial bleeding. If he makes it, he will never walk, never talk, need 24/7 care. He would have to be place into a long term care facility. That was if he made it. The first order of business, they have determined that the bleeding had stopped, but the blood might still be spreading. If the blood reaches to certain parts of the brain, it is 95% fatal. There is a surgery they can perform to alieviate the blood and pressure (because there was a little bit of swelling in the brain), but it would not have any affect on his quailty of life. If we wanted them to, they would perform the surgery, and it could possibly extend his life, but to an unknown degree. They weren't sure if he would survive the surgery. The other options we were given were wait and see if he recovers any functionality or we discuss removing the tube. We opt to wait and see for a day or two, and then discuss our options from there.

Thus begins the worst and most devastating week of my life. We immediately opt out of the surgery, because we felt it would do no good. There is no recovery. We've all come to the same conclusion. Dad was not coming home with us. We decide to remove the tube, but we are able to wait a few days so people can say their goodbyes.

Sunday comes and they remove the tube. He continues breathing on his own. We go in to see him several times. I get an opportunity to talk to him alone, tell him I love him. Talked about everything that had happened and that our options weren't good, that he wouldn't want us to let him live like that. I told him that I wished there was another way, another option, a miracle, because I wasn't ready to let him go, but I knew that we needed to.

They moved him to palliative care, we wait while they get him settled and helped Mom get situated. My husband and I stay at a nearby hotel as we planned to visit the next morning. I am absolutely miserable. We get food and I barely eat a third of it. This whole time, I had been messaging with various people in our lives, letting them know what was happening. There was one I had forgotten, a friend from high school that got on really well with my dad. I told her what had happened, what was going to happen. I told her I didn't want her randomly find out down the road.

Eventually I ready for bed, making sure I was wearing clothes that I could roll out of bed and leave in. We sleep, but only for a few hours as my mom calls me just before 3:30 am. It's time, but she's not even sure that I will make it before he passes. I jump out of bed, glasses, shoes, jacket on before the minute was up. Husband yanked on pants, shoes, and jacket and then we are off. I speed to the hospital, no one on the streets. We get to the hospital and through the checkpoint faster than I thought possible. Keep in mind, this hospital is massive, practically a city all on it's own. We find the right elevator, get up to the floor and to his quickly.

I walk into his room, prior to this, I didn't think he could look any worse. But he did. He wasn't breathing, mouth still open, pallor had turn yellow. His hands were still curled and stiff, but even puffier than before. While no one would confirm this, I'm sure he was already dead. Mom just sat there, just as shell-shocked as I was, wondering if this was really happening. After several minutes, two nurses came in with a heart monitor. This was palliative care, so rushing wasn't going to be a thing. They hooked him up and after a few more minutes they inform us that they no longer detect a heart beat. That he had passed.

They give their gentle condolences, tell us that a doctor will be in shortly to pronounce the time of death. They tell us that there is no rush, that we may spend whatever time we need with him. They leave and then the doctor arrives shortly after. He introduces himself and that he was going to exam my dad. He does so and officially announces that he has passed. The Dr gives condolences and an apology, but he has questions he needs to ask us. Would we like an autopsy (he didn't recommend as we knew the causes), informs us that the donor network would be calling us within two hours to ask questions, and a few others that I don't remember. He then excuses himself, repeats what the nurse had told us. We all just sit there. We quietly talk, mostly about nothing. My mom asks me to call the funeral home we had planned to use, and request the pick up.

After a little back and forth, mom and I confirming with one another that we are indeed ready to leave. As ready as we would ever be. Afterwards was blur, going back to the hotel, getting breakfast, the donor network called and asked invasive yet necessary questions for an hour an a half. My brother and sister in law show up, eventually we decide it's time to go home and face the music.

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Liveblogging notes for ep. 12. I can't believe there's only two left.

Oh no, Chay, I know you're young but don't be like that.

Porsche is still in house uniform, so I guess he's still part of the security team, just not bodyguarding Kinn?

As I said last time, this eavesdropping thing never ends well. I keep forgetting that this is Porsche's first-ever relationship, which might explain some of his paranoia. Kinn's lots of things and lots of them aren't nice, but he's not gonna cheat on you. (Even if the boys miss him, or at least his wallet.) And it turns out that Kinn has gone off alone to meet with a guy about actual mob business. Kinn arranged for Porsche's uncle to lose all his money to pressure Porsche to take the job way back in episode 1 so they wouldn't lose the house?

This is not particularly surprising to me, but it surprises the hell out of Porsche.

Talking about blood types with your torturer, not on my bingo card sorry. Pete you're gonna get tazed some more aren't you. (There's no way hedgehog is even in the book. Literally no one has a pet hedgehog.)

Porsche is pissed. Why was Korn so intent on hiring Porsche as to go to all this trouble? Kinn still doesn't know, was just following dad's orders. Wants to help so much. They're both upset.

Korn is back to doing pottery, so we're doing all kinds of early-season callbacks now. He already knows what Porsche wants to ask - but first he offers to answer a question he didn't even have, about the car crash? The driver of the other car was a friend of Korn's.

Korn claims to have covered up the crash to help his friend. To have forgotten the matter until Porsche turned up that night Kinn was attacked, then made the connection and tried to make up for what he had done by giving Porsche the job, that he didn't tell the truth because Porsche would not have accepted help.

This is complete nonsense, obviously, and it feels like a diversion. Why did Korn even bring the accident into it?

I think this is the first direct criticism Kinn has ever offered Korn. "Went too far" is putting it mildly, but you have to start somewhere.

Korn was right about one thing; Porsche does not, in fact, accept his help.

Vegas' hedgehog is sick. He leaves the key. Escape attempt #2? Nope, turns out that Pete can't leave the soggiest of wet cats sitting alone on the lawn to ugly cry about his dead pet. This is officially the weirdest pair I have encountered in my journeys through fiction.

Funeral for a hedgehog.

Pete looks like he doesn't know what to do with this information. Same, my guy, same. Gun, why would you have a child take care of hedgehogs? They are not even domesticated. Was the point just to get him used to everything he cares for dying? Because that is VERY messed up, I'm kinda impressed actually.

I don't know how the writers are doing this, what alchemy is going on here. I can't say I ship it, but this is compelling af.

HOLY SHIT PETE just fucking GOING for it?! Gonna fall for a monster, don't mess around I guess. Again with the dizzy camera movement, too. Remember when Pete was shy and kinda goofy?! Cause um... whew. No wonder he didn't want to kiss Porsche, boy's way too vanilla for him.

In a neck-snapping change of tone, the Kittisawats are back at home--and Kinn went with them. Good job, stand by your man. Learn to do laundry, god knows you gave the main house staff enough work. We've come a long way since episode 5, but Porsche is worried his rich boyfriend won't adjust well?

Porsche, remember that Kinn was miserable until you came along? That he would literally rather have stayed lost in the forest with you than go home? You can only get through so many days by means of functional alcoholism and rented sex; he'll be fine. And you were right, he is cute when he smiles.

Teh and Time came to visit? Oh my word, suddenly I am Concerned. Domestic shenanigans are ruined by Korn's arrival, with a picture of the other driver from the accident -- and the guy's address. Innnteresting play, Korn, very interesting. You are down to very few pieces now; what's the idea?

So they go to the address, and Porsche has a gun, and Kinn is offering to go with him because your first murder is a very emotional time for anybody I guess and he's willing to step up. (How many times has Kinn been given a photo and an address and a totally unspoken expectation by his father?). However, the guy's granddaughter is right there so... nah, not doing that.

Super-interesting use of mirrors in this bit? Like it's almost stepping the camera back from the sheer intimacy of it while Porsche breaks down crying.

Back to the bar, where it all started, for a fresh start. Porsche is smiling again, so that worked, and their song is playing. I'm a little worried about all the red light in that scene though.

Kim finally shows up at school and finds out that Chay ditched the whole thing, and is perturbed. Yeah, your actions have consequences, idiot. Chay meanwhile has read the manual: He is dying his hair blue and going out with friends to a bar he's too young for. (At least those friends know that Porsche will kill them if he finds out, although they might not realize that should be taken literally.)

Chay you are gonna get SO sick. Kid's already drunk for the first time, now you want to give him drugs? Not to worry, Kim materializes out of nowhere to slap the guy down. You two already broke up, how are you having a breakup fight now?

More food. That's right Kinn, tell him he's pretty. He is.

Deadbeat Uncle shows up out of nowhere? What the hell? Wants to send his regards to Korn and tell Porsche not to trust any of them, give Porsche a photo of his family that HAS KORN IN IT and ask for money?

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, March 5th, 2024!

1:07am: Just going to keep journaling so I don't go insane. My ex keeps jerking me around and I can't continue to care. He's so wrapped up in his own emotion, he will never be capable of actually being a good friend. He never asks if I'm ok or tries to make casual conversation, it's just all about him and his constant state of drama. I just can't relate to him anymore and I can't continue on the way I've been trying to. There's literally not much I can control or change about this situation, I can only be responsible for how I react to it I guess.

On another note, I finished my laundry! Tomorrow I will get up, take a shower, shaving is not necessary I just need to clean myself so literally no pressure. Drink some water, take my vitamin, hang out with my cats. Probably take a tums bc my farts are DEADLY rn and I don't know why RIP. If I do shave it would probably just be my coochie tbh. Some light weed whacking lmao. If I keep farting like rotten eggs I'm definitely not making any man plans tomorrow 🤣 I cantttttt haha

I think tomorrow I might clean out my closet now that it's clean?? There's so many items I never wear tbh. Maybe shave up to my knees and get a pedicure?? Maybe go on FB marketplace or thrift for some nightstand things or some dollar tree cubbies for this stuff I've had on the floor forever. I just randomly remembered my coats are in my trunk and I feel like I'm gonna forget where they are. Maybe return those things to the library omg and go to bath n body works and get real deodorant and laundry detergent

So many thoughts going through my mind omg I just had diarrhea while writing this 😭 please go away tummy problems. I wonder if it was me pounding tajin with my margarita I literally don't know.

I need to figure out where I wanna take myself out to before the show tomorrow! Aaaaa so many possibilities!! This week has already been so perfect and it's not over yet! I love my life! It's so crazy to love my life after going through so much trauma but here I am, stronger than ever!! :) I'm so proud of myself ❤️

8:57am: Nah tell me why I got on tinder this morning (early bird 🤣) and damn these guys are just ehh. Idk how tf I'm ever gonna take any of them seriously again. I'm just pretty hardened after everything, not really in a bad way, but in a needed way if you ask me. I feel like I don't know what I'm looking for lol I feel like if you know what you're looking for, you go out and pursue it?? But idk so it's more challenging. Tbh I just want to have fun like I'm in my fboi era fr. Curving dudes when they get serious n shit 💀

9:40am: ok time to get up lmao. I'll find a guy eventually so actually no rush 🤣 I got my two little furry boys and that's what really matters. I want to get all gussied up today just bc I can. Lil man bawling his eyes out not being able to speak to me anymore bc he knows he fucked up is a crazy way to live. Having to live with the guilt of cheating on someone.... Couldn't be me 🙄😂

I get to continue my life knowing that I'm a bomb af gf and anyone would be damn lucky to have me (once they get to know me!) if I don't meet people then they'll never know! I got ppl who don't even speak English wanting another date fr.

11:02pm: I'm just gonna keep shooting my shot until something sticks I think. I really do believe it's a numbers game anymore, if you talk to 0 ppl or put all your eggs into 1 basket likeeee you're not going to get far and it's gonna take 500 years, 100 years to even get a date at that rate. I wanna be like that girl who went on what 50 dates in a year?? Like go off queen 💅 at least you'll have 50 stories to tell if nothing else haha, plus I need the practice ong.

I like the journaling instead of trying to text him, it's so much better. N+T were right, he just needs to learn his lesson, that's so sad your friend literally had to say that about his best man like if my MOH turned out to be a flaming bag of shit like how embarrassing (for the POS) and seriously sad and fucked up :( .

[quillinhand]

Thanksgiving is coming tomorrow!

Do you celebrate it? Sometimes gratitude or giving thanks to things may come off as a big and somewhat unpleasant word. It may feel as if you are forced to acknowledge something that you already love, and that kills all the joy in this type of self-care, isn’t it?

That’s why instead of asking myself “what am I most grateful for?” I instead say “what makes me the most happy?” it’s definitely okay to not come up with things that makes you happy at first, it happens to me too! But maybe you can start with something easy…like cats?

So, would you want to make a list (even one thing is enough) of stuff that makes you happy? And you can even explain why if you want to!

—Self-care anon

you're back!!! Hi!!!

I do, but I celebrate the Canadian version. Think it's a pretty cool day ngl. (Idk when thanksgiving is in the US so if this is horribly late, i'm sorry 😔)

thats a nice thought... it can feel like so much pressure when you just. Gotta be grateful when there's precious little to be grateful for and like. It's nice, to just think of it as just something that makes you happy, rather than grateful. To know that you don't owe anything for it. ;)

This list is gonna be long lol.

Cat gifs. No words

Spicy lunches

Granola bars

My friends, online and irl. Maybe I don't text as regularly as I want, or maybe we don't get to see each other as much as we want, but I treasure all of you and can't do any of it without you. You make me happy, everyday.

Cereal

Teachers who don't give a lot of hw

teachers who can actually teach

nerdy topics

camaraderie

Sarcasm

Bras that don't kill my ribs

Hot showers

Cold showers

Swimming

My blorbos

Tumblr

Percy Jackson

Taylor Swift

Clean socks

Warm blankets

Shoes that have soft lining inside

Yarn

Muscles

Skeletons

Zombies

Conditioners

Sweatshirts

Hugs

The colour purple

Colorful things

You ;)

Ty so much for coming again! This made my day!

[dp1nk]

losing the weight on my shoulders

i must say, a lot of things have improved since i've moved. even without healthcare set up just yet, we can maintain a routine with cleaning every week, our diet is much better and the nutritional changes have really improved our stamina and mood, which is letting the extra weight start to drop again...

at 135, the hardest pounds to lose are the last 20, i swear. my normal weight tends to be 110 pounds of muscle with very little fat, but since i put a bit of extra fat on, and it's in my tits, it take way more discipline and food sacrificing to get that off. (not as in starving myself, just giving up things i love like milk... lol)

if i can keep it up and let my body use the last of my fat up, that'll just be 10 pounds off my tits alone. it's like carrying my cat on my tits all the time and my back is killing me. (who's isn't though - but even with that said, when i was 190 i think each of my tits were 10 pounds rather than both of them equaling that. i don't know how i moved)

muscle mass is harder to maintain than fat for the body, so once the fat gets used up, that's the sweet spot where i can eat almost anything and the energy it takes my body to maintain muscle will just burn calories to the point that i can eat junk and get away with it more often. i'm really excited to get back there. but before i can get my muscle built back up, i gotta melt off all the fat.

and so i've changed things i never dreamed i'd change, like using creamer for my coffee to control my sugar, water fasting most of the day... but the thing that i think really helped more than anything else was getting supplements and meal replacement shake powders. (they're really good with almond milk, but they put all the stuff we can't get from our current diet into our body and it helps things work correctly.)

i try to have energy drinks with taurine specifically, and potassium and cal-mag-zinc supplements have been the biggest help for our energy because our blood pressure's nice and stable, our anxiety is completely under control, and our mood is stable on non-pmdd days (but sometimes it helps for the early days which we call a hurricane. there's no helping the peak days, i'm still looking for something but the only help has been deliberately upping protein)

another thing i noticed is how much less volatile my crew has been - the host has been very stable, if not kind of apathetic. but that's normal for hosts. we had a host in 2022 who has chosen to merge with a non-host alter after we nearly died of the flu, and we miss her because when she decided that, we were just getting to know her and get along, after she spent months fighting us. the one that took her place has a completely different vibe though, almost like a less-borderline version of the former one. she seems to trust us and prefers letting lena and i pursue our interests, and is happy so long as she gets some coffee beans to grind and gets to help plan the week's meals. that's really encouraging and probably helps us keep up with these self-care routines, because it's all for her more than anything else... well, it's for all of us collectively, but we're here in the first place to help the host function because she's a blank slate without our influence. like an apathetic mech we pilot together.

that said, we've been a lot more able to do that fluidly, like we used to - just with more awareness of our memory gaps than before. switches aren't so jarring or sudden until the hurricane comes and we can't seem to help it, but it's understandable. that shit fucking sucks and it's only gonna get worse til menopause. can you imagine being excited for menopause to come? lol just another decade or so...

overall, i genuinely feel good and finally like i'm back in control of things after two years of just derealizing in an empty texas apartment. it's amazing and i'm incredibly optimistic about things. and i just felt like sharing that, that's all.

[like-wuatafauq]

Hey! Hope u are having a wonderful day!

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

For me valentine is just another day, I never have somebody to celebrate with. So just another boring day.

Some ask to pass the time!

1. do you like being the center of attention or do you prefer to go unnoticed?

2. are you a talkative person?

3. what do you consider red flags in a relationship?

Hello! Thank you ahhh I like the cat cuz funny enough I actually just had my cats outside in the balcony area so that was nice for all of us:) got some sun in! And I would say "sorry to hear that" but some people are not into romance so I'm not gonna assume you want a partner or like romance so maybe it's nice for you🤔

1. I like it if it has to do with performing. I took an acting class for college and I really liked it and since the little bit of theatre I did in highschool I've gotten more confidence and had fun doing performances. So I like performing but I don't have to be like the complete center I could be part of a group and enjoy it just as much.

2. Yes if it's something I'm interested in

3. Oooof 🚩🚩🚩

talking to exes or anybody they were interested in

not communicating

trying to win an argument rather than stating your side and working it out

not putting the same care or effort

making you feel dramatic for just showing emotions

keeping secrets or big lies

lying about past sexual encounters or any previous stds

judging your partner for their interests,culture or sexual preference in bed, judging or pressuring partner for sex or during sex

making fun of appearances (teasing isn't included I'm talking about like backhanded comments about weight or things they can't or wouldn't want to change)

Being rude towards my or their pets, not caring about my things (for example ive had someone kick to the side one of my art[small might i add] boxes with my materials like I'm always very careful when i touch other ppls things cuz idk what it could mean to them)

not giving reassurance or guilt tripping for reassurance

immediately wanting to break up when obstacles appear

yelling and throwing things at partner there's a difference in for example: if I ever upset my partner and they need to yell it out [because anger is an emotion that usually needs to be physically let out] I would probably take them somewhere where it's just me and them and let them scream out what they need to scream which is completely different than automatically yelling and blaming,throwing things at me,and abusing me

wanting the relationship to look a certain way to please people there's a big big difference in having a private relationship and completely changing the relationship dynamic just to please someone like family,friends, coworkers especially if your partner is not ok with it

not getting to know your partner or not continuing to take them out on dates!!!

Having different political views Ik this seems like a "oh that's not so bad" but I'm talking about when it's fucking drastic like the political views they have could hinder their partners life

trying to change your partner or hinder their growth

giving them ultimatums about their passions and career like I feel there should be an agreement where it meets in the middle

purposefully trying to hurt them mentally, physically or emotionally etc (kinks don't count lol it has to be consensual of course)

if you were talking to someone else during the talking phase and then got into a relationship with me I'd be like??? Wtf if you wanna keep your options open that's a you thing but I wouldn't want to have someone be like okay ama settle here especially without the partner knowing they were talking to someone else

doing romantic gestures for someone who isn't your partner you may think it's no big deal to give your friend flowers etc. But if your partner states it makes them uncomfortable or they see it as cheating then listen to them, this goes hand in hand with not communicating or following through with what your partner would see as cheating

Trying to completely dismiss a past argument that wasn't talked about (there's a difference in clinging onto the past to guilt trip someone and bring back up a disagreement that your partner didn't feel they had closure in and need closure in order to move forward)

addictions especially if they cause you to harm your partner

outing your partner about something embarrassing if its an accident and you were just teasing its one thing but if they told you not to mention it and you do it again and again that's fucked up (this one kinda goes with the next one)

not owning up to toxic behaviors sometimes you may not know you were coming off a certain way but if they bring it up to you don't just be like "how was I manipulative etc" and completely dismiss how it made them feel

completely switching things up on a partner about future plans for example if you're unsure about kids don't stay with someone for a long time telling them you want kids then switch it up just be honest (so basically be honest about future plans so you can work through it)

[Sorry that was a lot but just be honest, and clear about the things you want and are comfortable with and don't try to make your partner feel bad ik you could eventually hurt your partners feelings cuz what may not affect you could affect them but like don't go seeking it especially if they let you know]

[skyborn-reads]

💌 Messages From Your Future Spouse — an intuitive reading (with shufflemancy)

If you're drawn to any of these lovely cat photos, your future spouse might have left a message here for you 💞 Hope you enjoy this reading!

Picture sources

(New to my blog? See here for my PAC masterlist!)

Cat 1 — Picnic Basket's Ready!

"I love how you feel like home. You're like the sun melted into Saturday skies."

"I love our home moments just laying on each other's shoulders. The trips with you, the photos we posed together. The candlelights. Just having you with me holding hands. Where have you been all my life?"

"Do we have a long future ahead?"

"I wrote diaries about you."

"Your smile is irresistible. It makes my heart flutter in delight. You made me smile along with you and I can't picture my days without you."

"We are not perfect but we got each other's backs. We might argue about those little things. You say I'm not romantic enough, but darling I'm too busy getting lost in your eyes. All I know is that when we are together I don't care. I don't care about the little things, yes you made me get lost in thoughts with you and I wouldn't want it any other way. Why do you have this magic on me?"

"Go anywhere, a picnic, as long as you're holding my hand as we go. I love you. I love you. I can say it a thousand times if you want to hear it: I love you so damn much. I want to go on like this, you're someone I want to grow old with. I can see the future just being with you like this, why not?" 💐

Your future spouse is very chatty and the words came out like waterfall hehe ❤️ They say they're not romantic but I really feel they are, it's just that sometimes they might be more laid back. I even saw a vision of a ring 💍

Cat 2 — Nighttime Melody

"Being with you is so comfortable, so natural. I don't have to put on a mask, you understand me so perfectly well."

"I'd like to dance with you, under the night sky, you in a flowy dress."

"Let's not rush this time."

"I'll be honest. I didn't understand the feelings I have for you, I haven't fully made sense of it."

"Staying detached and running away doesn't help things, but that is my way of managing my feelings."

"I'm sorry if I have been hot and cold."

"I love you."

"Please have patience with me as I come out from my shell." 💐

Your FS's feelings for you - not exaggerating - is deep and strong like a whirlpool. They find it hard to express their feelings with the right words though so at first you might have to be the one to initiate things. They have strong INFP and pisces energy. The dreaminess ✨

Cat 3 — Best Friends

"You are so precious, I want to hold you in my arms and not let you go ever."

"I swear ever since you came into my life I knew you're gonna stay in my mind for so long."

"You weren't my type at first, I don't know why but I can't seem to let go."

"The smell of your hair as I whisper sweet nothings in your ear."

"You love to hear it, and you always make me smile with your soft laughter."

"I've never met a girl like you, you make comic books and ramen special."

"I hope this will last, because it hurts if we have to let go, but let's not worry about all that babey, I love you."

"I want to wrap up in warm blankets with you, just you." 💐

There's some conflicting energy throughout the song, like disagreements. When you meet (probably long distance), your FS might not be in a good place mentally or financially. They might be stressed out, just walked out of a toxic relationship or trying to find their footing in life. Anyway they'd not be ready for a relationship at first. This is going to be a connection where you support each other sincerely and help each other through the mess. In time, romance will bloom between you 💗 I feel this strong emotional pressure on my heart space, wow, and it's strong. This connection will be all about learning to heal, to forgive the past, and to not let the past affect hopes for the future.

Cat 4 — Pinky Promises

"When we were kids..."

"We knew each other, but the telephone cord was cut off, and we kinda lost contact, but I'm glad to know you as whole new person now."

"Allow me to reintroduce myself."

"I hope to create something beautiful with you."

"Maybe in a past life we have met..."

"Pinky promises, you'll stay this time?"

"I couldn't stay back then."

"You are an artist."

"It's my turn to show you how much I love you. I want you in my life. Will you wait for me to prove myself to you?"

"I still remember you but everything have changed. I'm not like how I used to be but neither are you I see."

"I will be a new face to you."

"You are special to me. You just hit different. I don't know if it's your vibes but you just feel special to me."

"Maybe you're an angel who shows me the path I walk is no more."

"You come into my life bearing a lesson. I come into yours with the same spark of life. We teach each other. We are each other's guides and we walk hand-in-hand."

"Trust."

"I love you." 💐

Dear people who chose Cat 4, I felt goosebumps throughout channeling these for you lol. Your FS has shared at least a past life with you. There is something musical and lyrical about them, perhaps you'll notice that about them when their presence dawns on you. They will feel familiar, there's a childlike feeling in your connection that is both nostalgic and ethereal.

[sakura-ame-no-ai]

"bring a jacket next time."

pairings: tetsurou kuroo x reader

genre: fluff

notes: in japan, their way of checking the time is much different than america. they use 24-hour clocks. so if it was 1 in the afternoon, it would be counted as 13:00 for them.

a/n: it felt like some special holiday for me today and i don't know why... but seriously, how is my last kenma fanfic getting so much love istg- anyways, enjoy this fanfiction! i couldn't think of a good title for this on... :sob:

you sneeze suddenly when a gust of wind blows against your legs. it is indeed cold outside, but the shriveled leaves scraping their way down the street makes it seem much colder.

"why does it have to be so cold on a beautiful night like this..," you mutter to yourself, wrapping yourself with your arms.

too bad you didn't contemplate on bringing a jacket with you before bursting through the door with kuroo calling behind you.

well, now you feel a little guilty remembering that you lied to kuroo that you were going to buy some snacks at a nearby konbini. in reality, you just want to spend most of the night searching for some shooting stars.

you make a brief trip to the park, to which you find everything abandoned. that one big red slide that you always see children fighting to have their turn on is now empty and lonely. the swings seem motionless, too. however, they still rock back and forth every now and then when a chilly breeze rushes by. the seesaw is tilted down at an angle, making one side touch the ground full of woodchips.

you search for that favorite brown bench that has legs made out of an elegant black metal of some sort. soon, you discover it sitting under a big maple tree silently. it faces a metal fence that is as high as your waist, which a beautiful view of a huge lake stretches out on the other side of that fence. you don't hesitate to plop down and make yourself comfy on the bench, admiring the wavy reflection of the glittering stars and moon on the water's surface.

you could stare at such a view all day...

well, you would if you had brought a jacket though.

the cold night air wraps around you, trying to embrace you in a friendly way, but all it does is make you shiver and lift your feet onto the bench. you hug your knees and bury your mouth and nose inside your arms and knees, cursing to yourself about why you were stupid enough to not bring some warm clothing before setting out.

"just like i thought," a voice that sounds very familiar booms out from behind you, making you flinch.

you turn your head around to see a bedhair walk up to you with a cheeky grin.

"tetsu?!" you squeal, a little shocked that he actually know exactly where you were. "how did you know i'm here?"

kuroo is bundled up in a scarf and his nekoma jacket. he also has a thick piece of folded cloth draped over his right arm, making you assume that it's probably a blanket.

"i've never seen you that eager to do some shopping at the konbini, kitten," he replies, taking a seat next to you.

"you've always been a fan of sceneries outside, so that gave me an idea."

you give him a look of amazement, awed by the fact that he knows you very well like you're his child or something. however, it isn't long before kuroo bonks you on the head.

"you little rascal~ why didn't you bring a coat? it's like below 25 degrees celsius, and here you are, hanging out at the park, short-sleeved, and without a jacket or coat."

you whimper at his remarks.

"well, you know i was excited, tetsu..," you pout, puffing your cheeks out.

he chuckles, "nobody was blaming you, ok?"

kuroo takes a moment to peel off his nekoma jacket and place it over your shoulders. you gratefully hug it over your shoulders. other than the fact that it smells strongly of that lavender body soap you gave him, the jacket felt warm from kuroo's body heat, making you feel safe.

an unintentional smile slips onto your lips and you readjust your gaze to the sky.

"say... do you think there will be any shooting stars tonight?"

kuroo lifts a brow before fixing his gaze at the sky as well.

"oya? hunting for shooting stars?"

you nod eagerly, continuing to look up attentively.

"mhm! you told me that it's shooting star season!"

the branches of the maple tree above you sway gently, swishing its leaves together to create gentle rustling sounds.

kuroo smiles and points towards one of the stars.

"do you know how stars are formed, n/n?" he asks you, his finger directing your gaze towards the appointed star.

you squint to make a more intricate observation of the star while racking your brain, trying to remember your astrology lessons at school.

"well... don't stars form from accumulated gas and dust in space?" you finally conclude, remembering one fact your teacher has emphasized back then.

kuroo nods happily.

"yep. stars form when the gravity of the dust and air collapse together, which makes them heat up out of pressure."

he continues to ramble on about how stars mostly contain hydrogen and helium, the lightest elements to exist in the universe, and how stars are, in reality, exploding balls of gas.

you listen patiently as he explains. you are always interested in his nerdy science talk, as well as the way he is invested in his own world when a discussion related to a scientific topic arises.

it takes him a little bit to finish his explanation with a sneeze.

of course, he's not wearing his jacket. that's why.

you take off the jacket you were wearing and hand it to him.

"you're gonna catch a cold, so take your jacket back."

however, he pushes it back into your chest.

"no, kitten. you have it. i'm worried about you more."

you begin to pout, angry that he's always caring for your health instead of his own.

"no, kuroo," you say with an upset look. "this is not my jacket."

you two begin fighting about who should wear kuroo's jacket, exaggerating the possibilities of not wearing one and lecturing one another.

"that's it," kuroo sighs, looking troubled.

at first, you are confused by his words.

"what do you m-"

it was at this moment that kuroo covers the blanket that you forgot he had brought onto his back and then trapping you inside his arms, wrapping your body inside the blanket.

"there, now we're both warm," he smirks.

you take a while to understand the situation you're currently in before blushing madly. you look up at him, only to see that usual proud smirk on his face. he obviously did this on purpose.

"tetsu?! what the actual hell?!" you scream.

"oya? anything wrong?" he asks a little too 'innocently', pissing you off.

you growl back, "of course, you dumbass! people might see us and take this to like a million different wrong directions!"

"kitten, it's almost half-past 23:00. it's really unlikely that we'll be seen since most people are asleep."

you can't counter back, because that sly cat is right. most people are asleep at this time, so it's highly unlikely that you'd get caught like this with kuroo.

you have no idea how to react, so you decide to lean your back against kuroo, resting your head on his chest. at least, you realize that you feel much warmer than wearing his jacket. in the end, you start to relax, paying closer attention to the steady rise and fall of his chest while he breathes.

"do you ever see stars as memories when you look at them?" you ask kuroo, tilting your head upwards to meet his gaze.

"sometimes," he smiles, looks at one of the stars.

"like that one near that giant cloud reminds me of when i stole your meat from your lunchbox."

you cough.

"do you think this is a great time to bring this up??"

he only smirks at you. "you asked if i get reminded of anything when i look at a star."

you pout a little and fix your eyes to another star and point your finger towards it.

"well, this one reminds me of when yaku beat your ass for stealing meat from my lunchbox."

you two begin talking back and forth, saying which star represented which memory, laughing about the old days, and fighting about various things, like who should've gotten to eat that scrumptious piece of steak.

as you come back to argue about the lunchbox situation again, a white streak catches your eyes, snapping your attention back to the sky.

"look, tetsu! shooting stars!" you exclaim.

what kuroo turns his head to look at the sky with you.

sure enough, more streaks of white rain down like a slight drizzle.

"hurry up! make a wish!" you tell him before clasping your hands together before your face and close your eyes.

kuroo looks at you, then back at the sky. after a while, he closes his eyes and makes his wish.

i want to stay by y/n's side, even after i graduate.

however, he doesn't say it out loud. instead, he wraps his arms around your chest after you have finished making your wish.

for the first time in forever, kuroo gives you the most genuine smile that you've ever seen, which surprises you since you're so used to his cheeky smirks. it reminds you of honey and its sweet flavor.

"you know, kitty, we could do this next time," he coos in the sweetest voice you've ever heard him use.

"did you think i'd stop you?"

"ummmm..."

you look side-ways towards the tree beside you before give him your honest response.

"weeeeell, i thought you'd tell me it'd be too late into the night to do something like this and that i wouldn't be able to wake up if i stay up star-hunting."

kuroo chuckles, petting your head lightly with that big hand of his

"things like this are exceptions."

your eyes light up to his words. he has officially announced the permit to stay up searching for shooting stars that you adore a lot. it makes you very happy that you smile back warmly.

"thank you, tetsurou," you sigh, leaning into his chest comfortably.

"it's nothing, y/n."

he continues to stroke your hair in a soothing way as he maintains that genuine smile on his lips.

"just bring a jacket next time, or star-hunting will be off-limits."

[dancingazaleas]

𖨆. 02 / all for us

summary: you’ve finally decided it was time to eat and bathe, but now that you aren’t worried about starving to death, you’re getting homesick. maybe a cup of tea and a movie is the best.

note: i, now, have a taglist for this series especially!! here’s the taglist form!! it will also be posted on the series masterlist!! much love <33

word count: +3.0k

warnings/notes: starvation, manipulation, abuse, slight panic attack, thoughts of suicide

IT'S been five days since you've had anything to eat.

your body is so weak from the lack of nutrients that you can't stand up on your own. your head is constantly aching from lack of food and you keep getting dizzy.

you feel like you're on the brink of death now, you can't even get out of bed to get yourself water out of your sink, shortening your life span if you keep this up. you feel yourself crying as you roll your body off of the bed and onto the floor.

hissing in pain, you dig your nails into the spruce hardwood floor.

"you are not weak for this. you're surviving," you whisper to yourself as you push yourself forwards with your arms.

it's so painful with the bruises. they rub up against your clothing, already irritating them a bit more than before, and now it's having pressure added onto it. your tears are blocking your sight, but you push on anyways. the door has never felt so far away.

you almost perk up when your nails scratch at the door. with weak fists, you bang at the door and call for one of the men that has captured you. your tears are dripping on the ground below you, forming a small puddle as they all bunch together.

"please," you croak, "please..."

the door is being unlocked and you feel as if all of your strength has been used at that moment. you lay still as your breath falters from your sobbing.

the door bumps against your head, shooting a sharp pain through your head. you can't find strength to care about it.

"so you're finally ready to listen. you look pathetic," you don't have to look up to tell it's levi speaking to you.

he calls out to erwin, telling him to fix you small and easy meal and to get you new clothes. he squats down and takes you into his arms bridal style.

if you weren't crying and letting out weak sobs, he would think your dead. you're so limp in his arms and your eyes are empty and droopy as they stare right through him. and it creeps him out.

he takes you into a bathroom with a tub, setting you gently on the toilet. he doesn't bother locking the door behind him, you're too weak to run away right now. levi's preparing you a bath, walking back and forth as he gets towels and soaps and checking the water.

you hiccup as you watch levi starting to remove that collar and chains around your neck, and you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your chest, literally. he's undressing you, obviously trying to avert his cold eyes away from your body. you're gently laid in the bath, head resting against the rim.

levi's quiet as he pours a warm cup of water over your hair and face, squatting down to reach your level.

"stupid," he scoffs as he lathers up shampoo in his hands. he washes your hair gently.

"this isn't mine and erwin's fault," he shakes his head while he pours water over your head, "it's your fault. you refused our care."

you don't argue back, too tired to even think of a comeback. you also don't feel like getting beat any more than you already are. your eyelids are getting heavy, immediately shutting them as soon as you feel the pressure on them.

levi stares, mouth slightly parted as you breathe in and out through your nose. your cheek was sprinkled in the color crimson, his own handiwork made him cringe. he just sighs, now brushing through your locks of hair with conditioner coated on his hands.

he rinses his hands off, letting the conditioner stay there just for a few seconds so it can soak in. his eyes trail down your body, stopping at your bruised breast. he didn't even realize he hit you there.

he shrugs it off and gathers water into the small cup in his hand, pouring it over your head. he expects you to jump up at the water over your head but all you do is mumble. he wants to wash your body, specifically your underarms, but with you half asleep and barely able to stand on your own without him holding onto you, he can't.

he clicks his tongue and pulls out the cover up blocking the drain. he grabs you by the arm, ignoring the whimper of pain that you let out, and pulls you up onto your wobbling feet. he helps you step out of the tub and wraps a fluffy pink towel around your shoulders, carefully sitting you onto the toilet again.

the bath water is a little murky and levi cringes at it because he knows it'll leave a ring around the tub. he'll clean it up later.

erwin's opening the door, a pile of clothes in his large hands.

"she's all tuckered out," he chuckles, handing off the clothes to levi.

"yeah. don't know how, she's barely done anything. must be the hunger or something," levi shrugs and watches the folded clothing come undone as he holds the hemline between his fingers.

"maybe we were too harsh on her."

"no, we weren't. we can't trust her. believe it or not, but forks can hurt whenever you put force into them when you stab someone. she could've hurt one of us or herself," he folds the clothes over his arm and holds out a hand.

erwin hands him underwear, "i suppose you're right."

"i'm always right," levi carefully puts on your underwear for you.

erwin rolls his eyes at levi's comment, "make sure to dry her hair."

"i know what i'm doing," he snaps, "go put her food in her room."

erwin complies, swinging the door shut behind him as he goes to fetch your food.

you've barely processed their conversation, too focused on levi's hands putting you in a satin light grey nightgown that ends just below your knees. the bishop sleeves keep your arms warm and cold at the same time, in fact, the whole material of the dress does as well. the neckline is a v-neck, not that you mind too much because of the risk you might get too hot.

"do i...," you manage to mumble, "do i have to wear this to sleep...?"

"yeah, unless you feel like sleeping in just underwear. i don't think you want that though," he scoffs as he towels off your damp hair.

you don't reply, far too tired to even say a 'whatever' to him. you let your forehead come into contact with his hip, taking in the cold temperature radiating off of his body. you want to nuzzle into his hip, but thankfully you have enough will to not do so. it reminds you of your friend, pieck, and her cat like tendencies. the memory has you letting out a pained laugh.

levi can feel his face getting warmer at every movement you make with your head, but he manages to play it off because of the towel blocking your view. he throws the towel into the basket by the tub, hand silently stroking at the back of your head in comfort.

it doesn't give you comfort. but you don't let it show.

levi's grabbing a hair brush, a clean and new one, and running it through your (hair type) locks. there are far too many tangles from the lack of care you've been giving your hair, but not enough to make a knot.

levi then pulls out a block of deodorant from the cabinet below the sink. it's unused and you can smell the scent of flowers on it as he brings it closer. his hands slide up your dress with caution, trying to avoid coming into contact with your bruised body.

he manages to put on the deodorant easily. he picks you back up with a grunt, eyebrows furrowing at your pained expression. he's placing you back onto your bed in just a matter of seconds, throwing the covers over your legs.

erwin's sitting at the edge of your bed, holding a fork with food already on it. your eyes are droopy while you look at erwin.

you don't eat a lot, they're in fear that you might throw everything up if fed too fast. you don't blame them, you haven't eaten in five miserable days. it's best to be cautious.

"scooby...," you manage to whisper out, eyes fluttering shut.

"she wants to watch scooby doo even though she's already asleep," levi huffs with the shaking of his head, grabbing the tray from erwin's hands.

erwin follows after levi, closing the door behind the both of them and locking it.

"she seems to be getting adjusted," erwin notes while standing behind levi and watching him wash the dishes.

"only because she was on the brink of death. let's just hope she learned from it," levi's aggressively scrubbing the plate with a sponge.

————

you lay in your bed a few days later, the feeling of homesickness is eating you up inside. did no one care? did anyone even notice you vanished? where was everyone? what were they doing?

you think of zeke. the man you were sort of dating, it's complicated. well, it was. now, it's just nonexistent.

zeke was out of the country for a bit, something to do with work. he left you with a kiss on the forehead and a hug. you wonder if he's texted you.

you think of pieck. oh my god, she's had to have noticed by now. she's your best friend, she lives with you. but the memory of the two of you fighting right before you were kidnapped comes flooding back, and you deflate. if you weren't in the house then pieck would probably think it was normal.

what about porco? reiner? your guys friends who act like guard dogs towards you. where were they? did they notice? surely they had to, you never not text them back.

bertholdt? your close friend that you also worked with him. he was a music prodigy and he texted you almost everyday. did he notice?

you're breathing erratically as you sit up and clutch your hands over your ringing ears. where were they? where even was your phone?

you're gonna get killed before you can tell any of them that you love them. the thought has you crying and tugging at your hair. you were so mean to pieck before you were kidnapped. you hadn't talked to zeke since the day of your kidnapping, who probably wasn't worried because he was busy with work.

when will you see them again? will you ever even get to see them again?

'maybe after death,' you think, eyes darting up to the mirror on your vanity.

you slap yourself upside the head, slapping away the thought. you struggle to get onto your feet, but when you do, you're banging at the door for levi and erwin again.

you have to know if they're okay, to know if they know you're gone. you step away from the door at the sound of keys jingling and their footsteps.

"what are you freaking out about now," levi's being followed by erwin.

"my friends... did.. did you tell them i was okay," with a boost of confidence, your gripping at levi's biceps.

"get your filthy hands off of me," he smacks them away.

"yes, we did tell them you were going away. we said you decided on a vacation," erwin speaks and watches your eyes dart back to the mirror.

"fuck," you whisper to yourself. everyone would believe you'd go on vacation, you had been stressed with your job for the past month.

"levi's gonna make you some tea and then we can all chat, we were about to do so anyways," erwin's hand rubs at your back as he pulls you close to him.

levi leaves the room, following the orders of erwin. erwin, on the other hand, is cooing at you.

"no one's going to miss you," he whispers in a sweet tone and it gives you goosebumps, "no one at all."

you know it's not true. it can't be true. zeke would miss you. reiner would miss you, pieck, porco, bertholdt. they'd all miss you.... right?

"we're the only ones who care, no one else cares," his grip tightens.

"want to know what that girl said," you hear the arrogance in his voice, and you can't do anything to stop it since he's buried your face in his chest.

"she said she was glad you were on vacation. she said that it was good that she didn't have to see you," yoy hiccup against his chest, pieck couldn't have said that, right?

he pulls away finally, satisfied at your expressionless face—if you overlook the tears. you can't give in, pieck would never say that. never in a million years would she say that, even if she hated your guts.

right?

levi comes back in, hands holding a tray that has teacups and a pot of tea on it. levi goes to the area with three chairs, setting the tray onto the coffee table and sitting himself down in one. erwin follows behind him, leaving the chair in between them open for you to sit.

they stare at you expectedly, it makes you uncomfortable so you decide to just deal with it and sit with them.

"what tea is this," erwin asks while levi pours everyone a cup.

"earl grey, what else do we have," levi hands a cup to erwin and then to you.

you hold it by the handle, silently admiring the cup's delicate and intricate design. you try to ignore the voice in the back of your head to break it on the ground and slash your neck open. you want to drink it too, it smells absolutely perfect, but if you hold it any longer you might just listen to that voice.

you set it back down, left hand immediately grabbing at your right wrist. you didn't trust yourself to make a move on your own, if you did you fear it might end up with a shard of glass at your throat.

erwin's ice eyes stare at your wrist and hand, taking in how your knuckles were white and the skin on your arm was reddening.

"just say if you want handcuffs," erwin sips at his tea and looks away.

"what," you flinch at his voice interrupting the quiet that was once there.

his comment has you looking at your hands, which you let go of at the sight of the irritation.

"sorry," you shrug and lean back in your chair.

"good. can't have you hurting your hands," levi comments, eyes staring outside of the bay window.

"speaking of that," you sigh, "why do you always leave my hands alone. you've shown no mercy to my arms, so why my hands?"

"when you're good enough, you'll be allowed to play the piano," erwin crosses a leg over the other, ankle resting on his knee.

"play? for who? there's no one in this empty house but us," you scoff and cross your arms.

"me. and there's more people here than you think," levi's giving you a small smirk, "you're just separated from them."

"it's hard to believe that you have friends, levi," you mumble loud enough for them to hear. your comment has erwin chuckling and levi rolling his eyes.

"i have friends, believe it or not. watch your attitude," he's putting his tea back onto the tray.

"i don't have an attitude," you sound like a child arguing with their parent.

erwin butts in the conversation before levi can get mad, "anyways, we will allow you to play if we think you've been good enough. levi likes the piano, remember?"

you bite down on your tongue to stop the words 'no but i remember getting kidnapped!!' from coming out of your mouth.

"when can i leave this room, it's too stuffy in here?"

"did you not just listen to erwin? he said when we feel you've been good enough. you've got to start by loosing the attitude," levi snaps his fingers irritatedly.

"how am i supposed to act?!"

"obedient," erwin's now standing over your chair, hands gripping the arms as he leans over you.

"like a dog," you look to levi at the sound of his voice, you try to make yourself smaller.

"you have on a chain and collar for a reason, don't you," erwin smiles gently, hand taking ahold of the chains while he stands up straight.

you choke when erwin tugs the chains towards himself, head knocking right against his stomach while the chains swing in the air and curl around his arm. his other arm swiftly grabs at jaw and forces you to look up at him with your chin pressed to his body.

erwin feels himself harden at the sight, your eyes are widened and your mouth his agape and panting because of the sudden cut off of air.

"just like that," he strokes his thumb along your jaw while you wonder what's caused a sudden change in him these past few days; he used to be so gentle. oh right, kidnapping.

his words have you turning hot, embarrassment hugging you from behind. it wasn't like you easily complied, you were forced to do so. you're also embarrassed because you can feel his hard-on against your sternum, and while you haven't thought about it before, you realize that erwin is fucking hung. you hope that you're not too good for them.

you're saying prayers in your head whenever levi speaks up, "i thought we came in here to watch a movie or something."

erwin lets you go, chains dropping from his arm as he does so. you sigh in relief as erwin grabs the remote from your bed and turns the tv on. you huff while you flop onto your bed and crawl up under your covers, knowing that you'll probably just fall asleep as you watch the movie.

unfortunately, this gives off the impression that you would like to be cuddled. levi's sliding under the covers with you, chest pressing against your back with arms wrapped around your waist. erwin follows soon after, inserting himself in your arms as he scrolls through the different movies at his disposal on the television. you're slightly frustrated at all of the physical contact, but you know that if you reject their advances it'll end up bad for you.

"put on heather's, please," you ask, which erwin obliges to.

as the movie goes on, you hope that they get the message.

you'll be veronica, and they'll be jd.