#I yassified the old men

[cheesecake-beech]

Hey me again i wanted to know if you could do claude and wild knuckles ( I love there relationship and there romance)

I drew old gay people GSHSJBCSJH

GRANDPAS respectfully of their own little groups 🙏🏽🙏🏽 GAUGDHD I MISSED DRAWING THESE GUYS SM 😭😭😭😭😭

sobbing and crying and sobbing

[phantom-playground]

i accidentally yas-ified him and no i do not apologize in the slightest thank you very much

[glue-enjoyer]

The real final frontier was them exploring eachothers bodies

[purpletyrant]

if you needed more evidence that i can be trusted to behave normally about The Hand, here it is: a full "reference sheet" for the little mage living inside of elias' sentient fursuit. mostly a reference for myself when i want to draw her, but i also want to point back at this one day to see how right or wrong i was. im sure yamazaki will humble me somehow

full view

notes below

i based a lot of her clothing on this source, which is how i settled on the pants design as well as her shoes, neckline (though hers is an exaggeration of the viking keyhole neck), and cloak. fwiw, i DID try to give her a robe similar to the one elias currently wears, but it just didnt look very good. i think the cloak i gave her here is an extremely liberal interpretation

i referenced mostly from mens fashion because i still wanted her to cut an androgynous silhouette, which is why her gown doesnt follow the conventions of viking women. i should mention, though, that i dont think shes quite that old - id place her around the 1300s based on vibes only, which means her fashion is well out of style. you could make the argument that shes from the 1500s given that lindel lists prussia as one of the areas elias may have originated from, and prussia was founded in 1525. mages live a long time, though, so i dont think the medieval period is too early for her

heres a closeup of what she looks like with her "real" colors. elias DOES have a habit of yassifying the people he models glamours off of, so i think its highly likely her hair is not actually white:

do you wanna know something about her gold jewelry? supposing her rings are of high purity, one of them would have weighed 2.25-3 grams. so, all 20 rings would have been 45 grams, or 1.58 ounces. 1 ounce of gold in the viking age would have cost up to $5,000. however, the source i used was written in 2017, so its actually closer to $6,400 with inflation. and this is JUST her rings, not her six bracelets, or any of the additional accessories i gave her. basically, she is swagged the fuck out. why do i care? why should YOU care? the answer is you shouldnt

I CARE ABOUT THE HAND A NORMAL AMOUNT!! A NORMAL AMOUNT!!! ITS NORMAL!!!! (i continue shouting this over and over as two burly men carry me out of the room)

[hairscare]

i dont know anything ab vivziepoop or whatever her name is and her work but could you give some examples and like. maybe explain how far they are from actual demonology? i love haterisms and i love learning things

kisses you on the mouth id love nothing more than to spread hate and infodump abt demonology. let me preface this by saying ive never watched any of their content so i cant speak on much besides what ive absorbed via osmosis of being on the internet and what i can see in their designs

so my special interest has always been on the 7 Princes of Hell aka the 7 Deadly Sins so thats what I'm gonna focus on. I'm also gonna bring beloved otome game Obey Me into the mix for another example of modern interpretations of them. also keep in mind im not a believer in these figures, though my research comes from both christian and pagan sources, i just like them a lot

so lets start with Mammon, the prince of greed. mammon is always depicted as a very money and power hungry kinda guy. in heaven, he was so obsessed with the golden pavement that they kicked his ass out first. hes super powerful and has 6,660,000 demons under his control that he makes build the capital of hell called Pandemonium. im not making this up demonology is silly as hell. hes associated with wealth, gold, jewels and emperors.

you may be surprised by this interpretation from the dictionaire infernal, but from my understanding/perspective, i believe this is supposed to be a lure to get more money as a begger? normally hes described as decked out in robes and gold and jewels and all that. but you can see in the illustration the bags of money.

so yeah hes like a super money hungry emperor type- in my mind i always kinda think of trump ngl. power hungry, money hungry, you get it. so if youre like me, for a character design, youre thinking a ceo with lots of expensive clothes and jewelery.

now, lets see what our friend viv has to say-

... they made him.... a clown? keep in mind, i literally know nothing abt the role he plays in the show, but... why? why is he a clown? if anything, him being a jester is the opposite of the typical emperor depiction. like a king vs a court fool. completely erases the whole idea of his greed for power. part of that greed is that he already has it but he wants more! this jester angle doesnt make sense.

okay, now lets look at obey me. theres a lot of things i dont like abt obey me's interpretations, but theyre so much better than vivs.

first of all, the white hair and blue eyes are actually accurate! the colored illustration above of begger mammon is actually colored wrong, hes often described as having very light hair and icy blue eyes. this interpretation of mammon, while yassified from the old man and the emperor, is fairly faithful. hes obsessed with money, hes constantly stealing money from other people, he wears the most expensive designer brands, and he has gambling issues. its not perfect, but hes clearly based on the demon mammon.

now Asmodeus. asmodeus has always been my favorite. hes the Prince of Lust, but he himself isnt horny. he teaches people Forbidden Arts and Crafts and also geometry, hes a disabled king (walks w two walking sticks), he likes messing with people and he hates the smell of fish liver. one time he threw someone 400 leagues and stole his identity. what a guy

asmodeus is particularly monstrous. hes got 3 heads, a bull, a demon, and a ram, hes got a duck bottom, and he has a dragon cat service animal. i think hes beautiful <3 but you can see a lot of potential symbols you can incorporate into a design! all these animals, esp his three heads, are just waiting for a cool design. so vivs, whatd you do?

... okay. hes... kinda got the heads, but its the cowards route. he has... that weird ass body that vivs loves to give men. theres... some feathers so he kinda has bird symbolism? im pretty sure he owns a casino, which is actually accurate. but like. thats #notmyasmodeus. this guy couldnt throw me 1 league if he tried. hes not monstrous looking at all. his legs are thinner than my patience.

since we couldnt really dissect viv's mammon, ill bring this up here. a big issue i have with these designs is that theyre afraid to make demons ugly on purpose. dont get me wrong theyre all ugly as hell. but not gross. not monstrous. these sanitized tumblr sexymen designs completely betray what makes the original designs so fun. asmodeus doesnt have 3 heads, he has one that looks like an evil sesame street character. the design is simultaneously trying way too hard and so fucking generic. literally if you take out the two tiny head motifs in his... hair? theres no indication that this is based on the demon asmodeus

okay, lets look at obey me.

again, hes sanitized, hes conventionally attractive, and he doesnt have any of the demon asmodeus' symbolism. hes also super horny. he doesnt do geometry or arts and crafts or even own a casino. not faithful to the source at all.

before you accuse me of being a hypocrite for liking obey me, hold on. let me get through beelzebub.

Beelzebub is known for being "lord of the flies". its literally what his name means. i cannot emphasize enough that he has fly motifs. he is the Prince of Gluttony, aka overindulgence. its typically associated with food. but beelzebub is *extremely* powerful. in Paradise Lost, hes Lucifer/Satans right hand man. all other demons respect him immensely. hes supposed to be so powerful that summoning him is supposed to run a high risk of seizures and death. he also fucking loves architecture. when a ton of demons were called on by solomon to build, the other demons were so appauled that beelzebub was being made to do manual labor, but his crazy ass was giving solomon building advice

hes a bug! hes big beautiful bug. the crowd cheers. so the motif is kinda obvious here. i mean, its kinda hard to miss it, right-

what the fuck. what the actual fuck. "but grim shes got a bee motif-" shut the fuck up. this... fox? wolf? furry thing needs to be put down asap. i genuinely think theyre using beelzebub as an bad excuse to introduce their kesha dog character. bro what the fuck thats not a fucking bug. thats not even a goddamn bee. i hate it here

i cant do this anymore show me obey me.

hes a fucking fly thank god. sure hes conventionally attractive but hes not a dog with the smallest waist ive ever seen and disproportionate birthing hips. he eats all the time bc hes gluttony. okay fine whatever as long as hes a fucking bug im ok

so. lets address why i like obey me and i hate vivziepops interpretations. first of all i just fucking hate vivziepop so jot that down. but more importantly, obey me doesnt pretend to be anything it isnt. its a dating sim. of course the characters are gonna be hot and fit into archetypes. ive made my peace with that. besides, the game actually makes their sins pretty interesting by showing how they affect their personalities, motivations, relationships and lifestyles. its not super faithful, but its not supposed to be.

but helluva boss isnt trying to do that. from my (admittedly limited) understanding of it, its supposed to be a dark comedy gritty adult animation. the characters are supposed to be questionable and unconventional because theyre literally in hell. so i ask the question: why are they so afraid to lean into that with their character designs? why does everyone have to have barbie proportions? why is no one (purposefully) unpleasant to look at or monstrous? its sad to see a creator trying so hard to make something thats supposed to be graphic and brazen in its depiction of hell and demons, and yet is afraid to actually confront the conventionally unappealing aspects of the source material, or even touch the motifs of the demons

i love the 7 princes of hell. if you want to read about the strangest characters with the oddest stories, symbols and trivia, go read some websites about them. none of it makes sense. lucifer and satan are the same person but also not and sometimes the other 5 are also the same guy. belphegor is in love with paris and is the infernal ambassador to france and has a toliet wheelchair. satan is depressed. lucifer is sometimes depicted as an whiny brat child and sometimes as a humongous terrifying beast. leviathan does jack shit and just boils the ocean and eats boats. its literally so much fun. also please feel free to add onto this! demonology is fun in part bc theres so many different interpretations and facts from all over the place that make it a wild ride

tldr: vivziepops designs are lazy and unadventurous when it comes to their source materials

[thelesbianpoirot]

I’m stoked to have found a fellow poirot fan who is a radfem and woc to boot! What do you think about the new poirot movies? I think poirot’s casting was a crime against little eggheaded Belgian men everywhere ! Why did they do that to my boy… I feel like they made him less foreign looking and more English looking too iykwim, like his hair isn’t even black anymore. And they yassified him…

Learning about radical feminism, but yes, Ohhh finding more Poirot fans is amazing. It's a famous series/set of movies but depending where you are in the world, people might have not even heard the name Poirot. Hiya! I DESPISE THE NEW MOVIES. They do not get Poirot's character right at all, there is no charm, no likeability, Poirot isn't strong or fast or superhero, he isn't physical, or intimidating in the usual sense, he's a character that would usually get mocked in other series, he is a chubby old eccentric man with heightened intelligence and determination. He is very self confident and persnickety, but he is polite and kind to all who deserve it and many who don't. He is far from the traditional action hero, but he is compelling. They are trying to make Poirot a traditional male hero, and it is repulsive. My opinions said better. https://www.gawker.com/culture/kenneth-branagh-my-poirot-must-ache They are generic movies with no charm or substance that are just there to pack in celebrities, as much talentless pretty faces as they can. The glass onion/Knives out, Benoit Blanc movies are a better Homage to Poirot than the direct adaptations. Part of the reason many criminals even hire Poirot, or let him at the scene of their crime is that he's so affable and unsuspecting, and then he nails you to the wall in his final reveal speech. Kenneth's Poirot feels like a caricature, no charm, and I am just bored by these movies more than I am offended, they have no style. I think they should have gone more artistic, I think the weirdo director Wes Anderson would make perfect Poirot films. I associate Poirot with an overt sense of style, and order. I usually don't harp on book exactness to a character, but not making poirot short & fat, or dyeing his black hair was a move I didn't like. Poirot would never go grey willingly. And he would never have red/auburn hair. And yes, David Suchet is ethnically ambiguous looking, he doesn't look 100% british, so when british characters treat him with xenophobic derision, you get an extra layer to their bigotry. Google says he's descended from Lithuanian-Jewish people (father) and Russian Jewish (mother) people so he's not anglo-british. Kenneth fits in in a room, Poirot stands out. Yassified? lmao, true, he looked like if they remade Poirot for a modern audience to get hip young fans. Not knowing hip young fans are enjoying poirot as it is.

[lionfanged]

ok he's niche BUT while i didnt reboot my multi, i have blown the dust off sakaki, my take on team rocket's giovanni.

i also yassified him so i can have icons i'm sorry for the sins i'm committing but it is hard to find sexy old men.

i'm not following anybody first unless they are a Pure Pokemon Blog(TM) bcuz idk who wants giovanni of children's game fame to follow them, but feel free to idk like this post and ill follow. or just follow me there. crime boss commits ultimate crimes against humanity and God(TM) is the theme of my portrayal.

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/759702920032829440/no-but-taylor-must-have-some-really-piping-hot-tea?source=share

And then there's jack Antonoff and Lena and Taylor being friends with both, Lena casting Joe in her movie, jack being with msggie who filmed with Joe around the same time jack was working with Matty and the band, reconnected Matty and Taylor as Taylor is reliving all her old relationships and trying to repair this one and writing you're losing me - and having Dylan O'Brien drum on a track (not implying anything romantic there btw)... Then jack works with Sabrina.. AND he got involved with the Kendrick and drake feud!

And somewhere in there Aaron is acting as Taylor's therapist, doing such a good job she pairs him and ed together and then Gracie. Like that's just a professional collaboration and networking, but my god the things those men know and how different their reactions are;

Jack: ooooooh slay bitch snap queen we best clap back! Get him! 😤 (he is completely yassified imo ijbol)

Aaron: oh, that sounds like a lot....umm do you want to write about this feeling? Here are some tracks I have..... I'm proud of you, you let it all out. Do you feel better? Ok drive safe and remember to drink water 🐱

Lmao

[ghul-wein]

Papa Primo, gentle & mild. .love yassifying old men

[he is holding funeral lilies, rosary peas and english yew]

[Image ID: A traditional portrait of Papa i from Ghost. His features are very sharp and gaunt, his eyes big and looking off to the side, punctuated by red lashes. One of his eyes is simply black while the other is white, both eyes looking off to the side. He is wearing face paint made to look like a skull. Papa’s ears are pointed, punctuated by a large earring and stray hairs from the long, white braid he runs over his shoulder like a scarf. His clothes are layered, a simple and fitted red shirt with a high frilled collar and sleeves sits under a warm looking knitted sweater. Dainty hands with thin fingers are holding a bouquet of flowers held close to his chest. This boy wer consists of funeral lilies, rosary peas, and English yew. The backdrop is a simple deep blue, a red hall framing Papa. White stars are in the backdrop.]

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

People who yassify the mercs into hollywood 30 year olds with abs are fucking cowards and don’t deserve getting put in a headlock by Soldier’s thick arms or having Medic’s giant tits in their face. THESE MEN ARE THICK GODDAMNIT!! Scout can be the token skinny queen LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE ALONE!! (We all know Sniper has some paunch cmon people)

I looove when people like give Sniper a little bit of a tummy but still like skinny arms and legs. He's built exactly like me if I had no ass

[gayelderstourney]

Could we see some of the ships that have been rejected? I'm honestly more curious abt what has been submitted and deemed unworthy than what's been accepted lol

Most of the rejections have just been that I don't like the source material and/or I think its fans are annoying and I don't want them potentially getting far in MY tournament. Like I think a bunch of poll blog runners have different opinions on this but I do think its within my rights to have my personal biases when making my bracket and I've already had success with this methodology twice before.

For example: the guys from good omens were submitted a lot. I considered putting them on the bracket but decided against it just because I find them annoying and one neil gaiman thing is enough. I also got submissions for some guys from supernatural that I rejected for the same reason. (I was on tumblr in 2014)

Professor X/Magneto from X-men was going to be on the bracket but there was a yuri x-men ship also submitted (destiny/mystique) and I decided to go with that instead, and took x/magneto out because it would violate my one ship per media rule

Kya/Lin from LoK almost made it (even though I will never watch it and i like to pretend it doesnt exist) until I looked it up and found out they literally didnt interact at all and also Lin is a cop. I think this is the one I replaced with destiny/mystique

Nyx/Persephone from hades would probably have made it in if the characters in that game werent wildly yassified. a few yuri couples on the final bracket have weird aging shenanigans going on too but Nyx always looks like a supermodel

There was an *actual* old man yaoi ship from disco elysium submitted (again, harry and kim are in their 40s and not eligible) but I just think people need to turn off their shipper brain regarding that game in general

These are just a few examples, I had over 400 submissions and a lot of them were "rejected" just because I thought they would have absolutely no chance

[m0thmansoup]

I love yassifying old men <3

[simayeeet]

I attempted to watch this Chinese drama that takes place during the mythical era of China's origin (I think it's officially called the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors Era? Perhaps just Pre-Imperial China or Pre-Xia Dynasty.). It is not in English so I used my elementary Chinese skills to try and understand it to the point I kinda got what was going on. I was surprised it was from 2010 too, like around the same time as the newer Sanguo adaptation.

The era is like pre-imperial version of Sanguo, which I think drawing parallels between that era and the famous 3K era would be a fun concept. After all, when you boil them both down to their most basic ideas, it is just a buncha human leaders trying to unify China, eventually leading down to 3 factions fighting in the last stretch. (Shennong/Yandi, Huangdi, and Chiyou for the ancient humans, Cao Cao, Liu Bei, Sun Quan for imperial China) (though Chiyou I'd say was more like if Lu Bu didn't lose Xiapi)

My incomplete findings:

The show is called Ancient Legends in English though I can only watch it by searching its Chinese name. What I pieced together was:

The protagonist is Shennong, who was born with an unknown father, which led to the patriarch of his tribe trying to kill him, but learned how to use fire which saved him. He became king at some point and wanted to unify central China, but had to fight Huangdi in a decisive battle that left him defeated and injured. When he was fleeing, a pretty lady saved him (later turns out to be Huangdi's neglected wife) and they ran off to live in a remote forest together because they fell in love. Shennong originally was called Yandi, but he changed his name and basically went into hiding. Though people and Huangdi recognize him as the former king.

There is another character Huashen, the goddess of flowers, who comes down to Earth to help do some things, beat up people, got kidnapped by a dragon prince, but saved herself. Some stuff I didn't pick up but she is a spunky fighter princess overall. Like if Sun Shang Xiang was actually written correctly, you know.

Shennong's pretty girlfriend dies (I think she was sick) and he gets super sad and then meets this strange man that he learns is his father, Fuxi. (Which made me do a little grimace when I remembered the Warriors Orochi versions. But that's par for the course, there's so many variations of how related these gods are. Shennong is sometimes Fuxi and Nuwa's distant descendent depending on your source.) Fuxi and Nuwa are siblings and Nuwa made her clay people. Nuwa I think is the Jade Emperor's wife here. But in this drama, Fuxi rejected his godhood to live among humans and become their king, hit up Shennong's mom, then leave.

There was an ongoing war between Huangdi and Chiyou that happens in the background. Throughout the show, there's this old dude acting like a meta narrator, telling you little tidbits or surmising myths that get featured in the show. He's revealed to be the guy who acts like a messenger for the Jade Emperor in Journey to the West where he I think tells Sun Wukong he was Protector of the Horses (stableboy). Either him or Laozi. It's hard to tell these Taoist old men apart ok. This is why you need to yassify them-That wouldn't help either.

This show also uses some funny cgi for monsters, like a qulin Shennong has is Hot Cheeto red and looks out of place wherever it goes. There is a scene where a god is talking to a floating 3d turtle and then it zooms up on its face and it's just A REAL ASS TURTLE face with a voice coming out of it. Honestly I loved it.

This would be a good show if I COULD UNDERSTAND IT. Sadly I could not find it with English subtitles, so I am just taking my crude piecing togethers and running.

[volfoss]

3, 15, or 18 for erm thae witcher

oh i am about to be the biggest hater known to man im so sorry

to preface. i avoid the witcher tags for the most part because its me and my 3 witcher mutuals against the world and everyone has bad takes all the time otherwise. so i do not have a TON of experience w fanon there but i have explored it a few times.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

surprising amt of geralt is a nepo baby fanfics last time i checked the tag. i stay blissfully unaware a lot of the time w stuff. ACTUALLY. netflix witcher exclusive. when people are constantly talking about how geralt is such a good dad there when he has interacted w ciri maybe 3 times because they removed the really good bonding scenes from the books. i have to be a hater about it bc i think every other adaptation has handled their relationship better and i dont see the appeal of ohhh their found family (with geralt yennefer and ciri) in the shows. in the books yeah. but thats because they actually get time to spend together there. and they didnt make geralt suck as a character. also not on tumblr but the fucking team yenn team triss people on reddit. are we really going to ignore what triss did to that man?????

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

i dodge the tags like as much as i can but i feel a big thing is u can TELL what someone is consuming to be into this series because all netflix fanarts have been very um. weird about jaskier in a fetishizing gay men way (how they hc him not how i do etc). also sick of seeing 20 million fanarts where they completely erase every scar the characters have. if u draw geralt or ciri or even TRISS without their scars that are yk. supposed to be defining parts of their faces/character appearances i am blowing you up. stop yassifying grandpa please.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

there are two things that apply here imo:

1. the hexer adaptations. you guys just hate fun. in what world is an early 2000s short tv series that has the worst dragon cg due to a very small budget. it is one of the best adaptations of the first 2 books in terms of characters being in character and how they handle the source material. also outside of the one polish comic (the Betrayal/Zdrada issue of Prószyński i S-ka) it is the only adaptation to show geralt's past. it is also really fun with costuming too! they have a lot of clear inspiration but also like. objectively w their budget sometimes it looks bad. its charming to me tho and im SO sick of the netflix witcher hype. sorry #1 henry cavill hater for the role.

2. my BEST FRIEND angouleme. yeah she was only in 2 books but she is one of the characters of all time. to me she is such a good example of both geralts tendency to save people when he does not need to and how they will just let kids be so comfortable and safe around him. she is also just so fucking cool man and again w her being book only (for good reason but im dreading when those get adapted and people are weird about her) character i get why she doesn't get much hype but STILL. she is so fun she will see an insanely old vampire and be like hmm. nickname time for him. yes he could kill me but i stay silly about it.

[transhitman]

Something is wrong with me fr. I don't think I could stop yassifying old men even if I tried.

[alistairlowes]

Thank u for posting your élite reactions 💕 you are sooo funny and so right abt everything, whyyy does this keep getting renewed 😭 remember when the first 3 seasons were actually decent?? No one on that set does 😂 thankfully s8 is the last one!! I hope u have a lovely day!

ahh omg thank you 😭🙏❤️ didn't think anyone even read those ksjdjba. no like literally i need to know view count because i didn't see anyone talk about it since since 5 (?) but i also get if people are watching it i was stockholm syndromed at one point. it's was so bad but i couldn't stop watching. i saw s8 will have nadia so i will be seated (bg noise) and hope they don't ruin her too ☠️ this show was better while they tried to do their own thing then euphoria came into the game and then they tried to euphoria yassify later seasons you can tell because they started adding glitter and old men that are into teenagers