#I’m UNWELL ITS ALL OVER😭😭😭

[kierancaz]

Hello mellon nìn, i have seen you are interested in writing for Legolas, sooooooooooooo if you are up to it of course, write something??

So here is my idea (this can be a headcanon if you want something short, but write how you want):

Reader is an elf (female reader pls) and she gets sick (wich is super rare for an elf) and Legolas gets super worried, and just stays with her and stuff. Just something fluff, you know.

Don't worry for mischaractherizing (idk if i wrote it correctly, lol) him.

That's all thank you!! You can ignore this, if you don't want to do it.💜

𝐒𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬

A/N: AHHHH THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING NEVER HAVE I GOTTEN OUT OF BED AND TO WORK SO FAST SJKDJJDJSJD but iyayah this was such a pain. I kept rewriting it to try and get it to my liking but I just couldn’t do it 😭 I HOPE YOU LIKE IT THO AND I HOPE ITS NOT TO CRINGE OR ANYTHING <3333

Warnings: possible spelling mistakes, not proof read (I wanted to get it out as soon as possible), and fluff (or as fluffy as I could make it), and I don’t know how elf housing works soooo if I got this wrong you’re gonna have to deal with it I’m sorry :’)

Synopsis: you fall ill and Legolas takes care of you.

༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

Legolas admired you greatly. He admired how hardworking and bold you where. How you never gave up and always completed the tasks set to you. How you had such a commanding presence that people just couldn’t help but be drawn to you. In fact, that’s what had drawn him to you in the first place.

Recently though he hadn’t been able to see you. Not only because he was busy but because you where busy as well. You where always running from one place to the next only stopping in the halls for a quick hello whenever he called out to you.

Coming back from patrol one day he was greeted at the gates by a elleth that he only vaguely recognized as one of the people in your charge. You where a captain of the guard, another thing he admired about you.

“My Prince,” the elleth bowed her head politely and Legolas returned the gesture. “(Y/n) is sick, she’s been taken to the infirmary and is asking for you.”

Legolas eyes widened in shock. Sick? You where sick? How long had it been since an elf was sick? Immediately it took off to the infirmary.

He was overcome with worry. What happened? How did you get sick? How sick where you? Elves didn’t often get sick and if they did they’re was usually an on hand cure and everything was solved in a couple days so why where you asking for him? Was it really that bad that you would call for him? For a moment he wondered if you where calling for him because you where on your deathbed or something before he realized how preposterous that was.

He reached the infirmary in no time and upon entering he was more then a little stumped by what he saw. There was you, sitting on the edge of the infirmary bed looking both unwell and very upset. And then there was another elf standing before you, clearly annoyed and pinching the bridge of his nose.

You spotted him at once and grinned, “Legolas!” You said and waved him over. “You have to tell Belanor that I am perfectly fine. He won’t listen to me!”

“You don’t look ever well to me.” Legolas said as he helped bring you back to balance after you stood up. You were holding onto his shoulder tightly and swaying a bit.

“That’s because she’s not well,” Belanor interrupted. “She’s got a fever. Nothing to horrible but it’ll take a few days before she’s back to normal health and… well it might get worse before it gets better.”

“I’ll be fine! There’s absolutely nothing wrong.” You said and pushed yourself off of Legolas, as you did so you where overcome by a dizzy spell and fell back onto the bed.

“Now, since you are clearly not fine, you could either stay here in the infirmary for a few days while I watch over you. Or you could go back to your own home and have someone else take care of you. I don’t trust you to take care of yourself but I’d rather not have to deal with you any longer. Make your choice quickly please.” Belanor said and crossed his arms.

You looked up from where you had your head in your hands and glared at Belanor. You opened your mouth to make a comment about what he could possibly be busy with that he needs you to make a quick decision about this but before you could Legolas spoke up.

“I can take care of her.” He said it so casually it took both you and Belanor by surprise. Again before you could say anything you where cut off.

“Ok then,” Belanor said in a still slightly surprised tone. “Try and get her to actually rest, if the fever rises anymore put a cold rag on her head. Make sure she takes this at least twice a day,” Belanor handed him a jar. “And don’t get surprised if she gets a bit delirious or throws up. Have fun.”

He walked out of the infirmary immediately after leaving you and Legolas to blink silently at each other. “So,” Legolas began. “How did you even end up here?”

You felt heat rising in your cheeks and looked away from him. “Passed out…” you mumbled. “It wasn’t too bad, I feel better now.”

You where, in fact, lying. To save face. You didn’t want him to see you as anything other then strong and independent. You didn’t need anyone caring for you and you certainly weren’t weak enough to get sick. Though, you’ve never felt so horrible.

Your nose was stuffed up and you couldn’t breath properly, your throat was sore and swallowing hurt, and your head felt all fuzzy. A couple times you thought your vision was beginning to blur as well. It had been like that for a couple days before finally you collapsed while out on patrol and one of your friends had to carry you all the way here before you finally woke up.

Suddenly there was a hand to your forehead. You brought your eyes back to Legolas who was now standing in front of you, eyes narrowed in concentration and maybe even concern with the back of his hand resting on your forehead. “Um, what are you doing, my Prince?” You questioned.

“I think it’s a human thing.” He said and moved his hand to cup your cheek. “I’ve seen Aragorn do it to others. To check if they were sick.”

You couldn’t help but lean into his touch. Maybe you where already going delirious like Belanor said, but his hand felt so warm and soft, despite the callouses on his fingers. He brushed a strand of loose hair behind your ear.

Before you knew it you were sept off the bed. It made you a little dizzy but you couldn’t do anything but stammer and pray to the gods Legolas didn’t here or feel the pounding of your heard. “Uh, what are you doing? Where are you going?” You asked quickly.

“I’m taking you back to your house.” Legolas said simply, like this was no big deal.

“I can walk on my own you know!” You protested, wiggling around a bit. “And what if someone sees us Legolas? It would be such a pain if rumors started flying around. People can be so nosy.”

Legolas chuckled, “just a few minutes ago you were struggling to stand on your own. And so what if someone sees us? Let the rumors fly, they dare not ask me about them.”

���But they will ask me.” You protested.

“There is no need to worry mellon nìn,” Legolas said, his voice ever so light and calming. “Relax for now and let me carry you home. Just this once.”

You weren’t really in the position to argue. He was right after all. So you just hummed grumpily and rested your head against his chest.

Soon enough you had fallen asleep. Legolas hoped the sound of his heart thundering in his chest wouldn’t wake you. While he was concerned about you, he couldn’t help but think about how cute you looked.

Eventually he had reached your house. He was comfortable enough to walk in on his own and set you down on your bed. He had been to your home on more then one occasion so he was familiar with the layout.

He grabbed a bowl and filled it with water along with a towel and brought it back to where you were still sleeping. He felt your forehead again before placing a cool towel there. You opened your eyes and looked at him.

“This is completely unnecessary.” You said and then coughed.

“Mhm,” was all Legolas said and nodded.

“I mean it.” You repeated. “I don’t need looking after.”

“I believe you.” He was smiling now and all you could do was glare and pout at him. There was a long stretch of silence before you turned over.

“Feel free to leave whenever you want.” You said, and it came out rather aggressively. You couldn’t see it, but Legolas eyebrows scrunched up and the hurt he felt from your comment clear on his face.

“Ah, um, alright then, I’ll get going.” He got up and walked to your door, stoping in the doorframe. “I’ll come back tomorrow morning, don’t do anything stupid mellon nìn.”

You hummed in acknowledgment and listened as he left your home. You don’t know how much time had passed before you fell asleep that night.

#######

The next morning Legolas did as he said and made his way early over to your home. He knocked twice, waited, knocked again, and when you didn’t answer he decided to let himself in.

“(Y/n)?” He called out when he entered, but he got no response.

“(Y/n) are you here? Is everything alright?” He asked as he walked through your home before checking your bedroom.

You where having a troubled sleep. Your covers kicked all over the place, brows furrowed in distress, pale as ghost with a sheen of sweat on your forehead. Immediately he went and got a bowl and filled it with cold water and after damping a rag he placed it on your forehead. You stirred slightly at his gentle touch.

“Legolas?” You asked softly, bleary eyes beginning to open. His heart beat a little faster as he brushed away some hairs that where sticking to your cheek.

“It’s me,” he said and took the bottle of medicine that Belanor had given to him from your night stand. You groaned as he lifted your head from your pillow and tipped the medicine into your mouth. You wouldn’t drink it. He sighed, stubborn as always.

“It’ll help you feel better.” He said bringing it closer to your mouth.

“It smells gross.” You mumbled, opening your mouth just enough so he could force you to take it.

After that you fell back asleep. He stayed for a few hours, watching you go in and out of sleep, tossing and turning. Every once in a while he would have you take more medicine and replace the cloth resting on your forehead.

Eventually, you where able to form a coherent thought, and the first thing you said (that wasn’t unintelligible mumbling) was, “what’re are you still going here?”

“Ah- well, I was looking after you.” Legolas said. He didn’t understand why you felt the need to always dismiss him when he tried to care for you. There was a time when you could hardly walk due to a wound on your leg and you still refused to let him carry you. He stood up from chair, “but if you wish me to leave then I shall go—”

His sentence was cut off when as he turned away and a hand clasped his wrist. “Stay…” you said looking him dead in the eyes, barely audible, but the clarity in your eyes… “I want you to stay.”

“Alright then…” Legolas said tentatively as he sat on the edge of your bed. You didn’t let go of his hand and instead, ran your thumb thumb soothingly across his knuckles. There was a long stretch of silence where all you did was that and stare at his and your hands resting on his thigh.

“I’m sorry about what I said yesterday.” You spoke finally. “I didn’t mean it to come out that way.”

“It’s alright,” he said quietly.

“I just don’t want you to see me as weak.” Now this, this surprised him.

“Mellon nìn, how could I ever view you as weak?” He started and grasped you hand with both of his and brought it to his chest, leaning forward like he needed you to see him, to look him in the eye and really listen to him.

“Mellon nìn you are the strongest person I know! You are beautiful and talented and so incredibly strong, how could I ever view you as weak? Where on Arda could you even get this notion?”

You just blinked at him. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Eh—” his face, plastered with a look of shock, began to flush red. After recovering he pulled away and looked off to the side, trying to conceal his rising blush. “Well I mean, you are.”

You stifled a laugh and he looked back to you, “Legolas, would you like to lay down?”

“Would you like to lay down?” You repeated slowly.

“Mellon nìn I could not—”

You laughed, “you say that and then continue to call me mellon nìn?”

“Ah, well…”

“Legolas, lay down next to me… please?” There was a small smile on your face. Legolas sighed and gave in, placing himself next to you on the bed. Immediately you rested your head on his chest and slung your arm around his waist. Gingerly, he placed his arm around your shoulders and tugged you a bit closer.

“Are you sure you haven’t gone delusional?” He asked.

You hummed contently and yawned, “I might be.”

“If I can’t call you mellon nìn anymore… what shall I call you?” He asked.

“There’s an assortment of endearing nicknames out there,” you mumbled. “Take your pick by the time I wake up.”

Not even moments later you had fallen into a comfortable sleep in his arms. He stared down at you studying your face and using his free hand to twirl stands of your hair and brush them away from your face.

“I believer there’s only one name for me to call you now,” he whispered. “Meleth nìn.”

[ughgoaway]

the sick dad matty blurb omfg ACE i’m literally unwell at the thought of mopey messy hair matty falling asleep in ur lap and being so flustered at u seeing him like that- brb fucking crying

also speaking of which genuinely insane timing how you always post smth after i’ve had a very long shift i swear theyre really the one thing i look forward to the most after work 😭😭 uninterrupted horizontal time with ur blurbs it’s true it literally is my fav thing-

also perhaps an extension of sick dad! matty but i just can’t shake the idea of teacher reader being worried about him still and asking annie about it at school the next day and annie just randomly drops a bombshell in the way kids do and says smth like ‘oh daddys so much better today! he’s all smiley and said that you chased the bad coughing monster away for him- can you come do that every time? daddy’s never had anyone do that before’ and it just b r e a ks teacher reader completely pls anyways crying throwing up

(- bff anon also has the can’t shut up disease i fear 😭）

OMG, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BFF!!! I just need to look after this man.

like imagine he eventually wakes up and its like 9pm at that point so you're like "okay let's get you to bed" and he's all sad and pouty and says "only if you stay over with me" but he's still half asleep and doesn't quite process what he said for a good few seconds...

wide-eyed, he tries to backtrack, "wait- I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that! obviously, we haven't slept together yet, but- NO, NOT LIKE 'SLEPT TOGETHER' SLEPT TOGETHER!!! I MEANT LIKE JUST SLEEPING!!! ohmygod-"

you're like "no that sounds nice, let's go upstairs," and matty is silently freaking out bc you're gonna be in his bed. with him. sleeping. he's thought about this scenario 1000 times, and none of them included him being dealthy ill and not having nice sheets on the bed first.

(more rambles below the cut as always)

you get matty to brush his teeth and get ready for bed, even rubbing some moisturiser on him (he just sits there with a dopey grin as you apply)

he always thought you'd be on his chest or he'd be spooning you, but he ends up with his face buried between your boobs and he's out within 10 mins.

oh and the morning after... so much potential...

I must have spidey senses for when you're at work bff!!! the fact that my blurbs make you so happy you look forward to them??? brb vomiting???? that is so kind. horizontal time on tumblr is my fav too, its unmatched.

OH, LITTLE ANNIE TALKING ABOUT HIM PLEASEEEEEE-

I can see her spending the night at hanns bc matty doesn't want her to get ill and doesn't trust George or Ross to keep her overnight.

"Do you even know what 5 year olds eat??"

"bro, why dont you trust us???"

"Yeah... like mushed carrots and shit right. "

you put the kids to work colouring something but secretly call Annie over yo your desk, "hi Annie! I just wanted to ask how your daddy is today, I know he's been a bit poorly"

"...please take her Adam"

she immediately lights up and starts chattering away, "Oh, daddy said he's feeling much better today. he even made me my toast this morning, and he was all smiley the whole time!!! he said you made him all better and played nurse!! can you do that every time he's poorly? he's much happier when you are his nurse than when he goes to the doctors"

obviously, internally you're like "ohmygod he really likes me, and I made him feel better. oh, he couldn't stop smiling, and annie noticed because he was so happy and -"

but externally, you play it cool like, "Oh, that's great, sweetheart! I'm sure next time he's poorly, you can help him feel better too"

Annie is like, "Oh!! I hope he's poorly again soon, I wanna play doctors with you!!!"

you try not to laugh at her wishing her dad ill and just send her back to her desk, but the grin doesn't leave your face all day. thinking about the fact you made matty giddy makes you just as giddy as him.

the next day a bouquet of flowers show up at your door with a note,

"dear nurse y/n,

thank you for coming to look after me even after I cancelled our date. whilst I am slightly mortified you saw me looking like that, I'm more grateful for your help. you made being sick worth it. Spending any time with you is always worth it.

love, matty x

ps, I hope the next time you stay in my bed, I'm substantially less sick, and we're both wearing substantially less clothes ;)"

[shubaka]

and now for episode 5 for the kinnporsche rewatch

I still can’t get over this hug! Yes, I know, there are ISSUES with Vegas’ actions, but let’s ignore that for now.

I am 100% positive that Porsche gives great hugs and just -- the way Vegas soaks up that hug??? His little smile and the clench of his fingers and sort of kind of nuzzling into the crook of Porche’s neck and shoulder?? Like, how often and when does he get to have such nice, warm hugs? WHEN????? 😭

(I too would like to get a Porsche Hug.)

THIS IS A CALL OUT POST TO ME SPECIFICALLY. why is it that every time i see this scene i feel more and more unhinged about him in this jacket and oh god don’t even let me get started about later on when the product in his hair loses some of its hold and we get a few strands of his hair falling down i am so unwell i hate this porchay you are a stronger person than i am

ugh they’re so cute though:

Chay turning his head and then Kim immediately rotating the paper around so he can see how it looked to Chay and the stupid smile on his face I NEED TO SHUT UP

AHHHH THERE IT IS.

THE INFAMOUS LINE

EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO THROW UP

🤮 💚 💚 💚

Not Chay being all “That’s fucking suspicious, but he ignored my slip earlier, so I’ll let him have this one.”

I am suddenly thinking about Barcode’s dance cover of Jackson Wang’s “Pretty Please” :’)

Not even a few bars into the song and we see another “oh, shit” moment.

LOOK AT HIM. HE’S DONE FOR. THERE’S NO ESCAPE.

AND I KNOW I SAID NOT TO LET ME GET STARTED ON HIS STUPID BANGS HERE BUT AD;LFJAWEKJKS [REDACTED] 

(narrator voice) I’m not gonna be alright.

Anyway, Kim has it so bad even his hair is falling for Chay. *ba dum tss*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! LOOK AT THEM:

LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE TO SEE EACH OTHER!!! 🥹🥹🥹

(thanks for that meme @scattered-stardust​ 🥲)

sdlkfsladkjfwlekj the car chase!! All I can think of right now is snarkspawn’s ken go brrrr

[cable-knit-sweater]

MAYAAAAAA 😫😫😫 I know I’ve been in your inbox already once today, but I just saw you reblog This Fucking Post™ of This Fucking Guy™ and— EXCUSE ME. I AM UNWELL. 

So now I can’t help but think about how this particular Seb is a bit more confident and cocksure (pun at least 50% intended) than usual, and how it completely throws Chris for a loop and maybe they haven’t seen each other for a while and they’re finally alone and making out like teenagers on Seb’s couch and Chris is reeling from how assertive and self-assured Seb is, not to mention how stupidly fucking hot he looks, and listen. LISTEN. Chris loves it, he really, really does, but he’s just used to being a bit more in charge, and being able to reduce Seb into a boneless, speechless mess with relative ease (much like Seb’s doing to him, right now).

Chris is kinda getting lost inside his head when his hand finds its familiar way into Seb’s hair, fingers curling gently but surely around the lengths, and tugging— 

Seb makes the tiniest noise in the back of his throat, but Chris can feel the tremor that runs through him, so he pulls a bit harder, a bit meaner. 

There it is. 

“Screw you,” Seb breathes, but it comes out wrapped in an unmistakeable moan. 

Chris just laughs, mouthing at the hinge of his jaw in a way that makes Seb squirm into the cushions. 

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” Seb huffs even while closing his eyes and melting into the touch. 

“Aww, honey,” Chris purrs in response. “You’re the nice thing.” 

Idk what this even is but I totally blame you & Minnie for it 😇💕

OH MY FUCKING GODDDD KAY MY SUNFLOWER BABY 😭😭😭😍😍🥵🥵🥵🥵

Okay. Calming down for a second but GOD I love you so fucking much.

I saw your other ask and I LOVE it, also @sparkagrace has been begging me for something similar and I will have so much fun writing it, so thank youuuu for sending me that prompt (also? I love the hive mind so freaking much lol 💗💗)

But getting back to the rest of your ask bc oh my god are you in my head??? This is like a perfect scenario and I’m obsessed 😫 Anyone who even knows me a little bit knows how weak I am for this Seb:

Like uncontrollable sobbing, unhinged screeching, want to BITE, that kind of weak 😭

But back to your scenario.

One of my favorite things is Seb being a little cocky and Chris being surprised by it and LOVING it, but alsoooo trying to find a way to reduce Seb to a whimpering mess again 😫 I love how in this scenario Chris goes with it for a little but then he just needs to do one thing, and Sebastian is done for (much like I am).

And they both love it. Chris loves it when his boyfriend is assertive, makes known what he loves and wants; whether it’s through making those delicious noises or by showing Chris what he wants by being a little more demanding like this. He always thinks Sebastian is hot, unbelievably gorgeous, but there’s something about him when he smirks at Chris in that way of his, when Sebastian looks all self-assured and like he knows he’s the hottest thing out there, because in Chris’s mind he always is. So he lets Sebastian do what he wants for a little, until instinct takes over…and his instinct will always be to love on Sebastian so much, to make him feel soooo good, that Sebastian just melts into whatever surface they’ve ended up on and lets Chris make him feel even better.

The moment that happens always causes Chris’s brain to short circuit for a second. When Sebastian’s features go slack, when he moans so loudly, when he starts to give himself over to Chris. It’s not so much surprise as it is pure awe; that he can have that effect on Sebastian, that Sebastian loves it as much as he does, that Sebastian lets him do this.

Sebastian loves it when Chris takes charge and just, instinctively knows what he needs, but sometimes he just can’t control himself, feeling sooo good about himself and wanting Chris to feel good too, needing to be close, so he just goes for it.

He can’t help but feeling a little hungry, a little feral when they’ve been apart for a while, needing his hands all over Chris and needing Chris’s hands all over him. Rile him up as much as he can until he gets Chris to growl a little and manhandle him, pull at his hair, letting Chris take charge again easily.

Riling Chris up is maybe one of his favorite things to do. It’s almost like a little game they play, and even if Seb complains a little when Chris takes over and makes him all weak-kneed, it’s all he wants.

ALSO, Chris is right, he is the nice thing 😭 and BLESS you so much for dropping these incredible thoughts into my inbox, GOD, I’m gonna need some more time to think about this 🥵.

I LOVE YOU (and your incredible brain) SOOO MUCH 💕💕💕💕💕 Sending you the biggest polar bear hugs and all the smooches 😘😘

Alsooo I think @musette22 will agree with me that we’ll gladly take the blame if it leads to something like this 🥰🥰🥰

[golden--doodler]

Tumblr is being dumb and not wanting to work with me today (and is also dumb for not letting me put in more than one video clip), but @babsvibes asked me what some of my favorite Bob's Burgers quotes are, so here is my response in its entirety (you better buckle up, because it's long):

Babs!! I appreciate you so much, thank you for giving me another ask❣️

You already know who most of these quotes will be from because you asked me 🤣 This ask is too good, I’m super excited to get into this.

Okay, I don’t have these in any particular order (this was originally meant to be a top five but got expanded to eight (plus a ton of honorable mentions) because there are just too many good quotes), but some of my absolute favorites are:

—(From the movie): “I know you’re droopy Bob right now, but you know who else is in there? Dreamy Bob. The guy who wanted to open a restaurant in the first place, slap his name on it, make cuckoo, crazy burgers with wild ingredients. A new one every day.” —Linda 🥹

Bonus: “You know what you gotta do to droopy Bob? You gotta hit him in the nuts, like this! >:D”--Linda, AKA the best wife in the world

This scene always has me extremely unwell. It’s like the writers took a look at me and my blog and were just like How can we activate Doodler’s emotional tears to the maximum degree? It honestly has everything I could’ve asked for. Linda being the best, most supportive wife in the universe? Yup. Bob being his usual sad, dramatic self? Yes.

A BOBLIN FLASHBACK WITH LINDA PREGNANT WITH TINA AND BOB LOOKING SO EXCITED AND PASSIONATE ABOUT THE RESTAURANT?? 🥺🥺🥺 Check.

—(Also from the movie): “Can I say, ‘Honey, No’!” —Gene

“No 🙄” —Louise

This line is hilarious and caught me so off-guard when I first heard it. It’s one of the best Gene lines, which is quite the feat given that he has so many good lines. I can’t believe some people can’t see his beautiful Genderfluidity after hearing this line and Eugene Mirman’s delivery. Genuinely, though, I absolutely love how comfortable Gene usually is when it comes to being himself. There are moments where his self-doubt and insecurity creep in, and I could make a whole post about that, but whenever he’s around his family, he’s usually so comfortable with saying what he wants.

—(I forgot which episode this was from and couldn't figure out which one it was, if someone can tell me, that would be much appreciated 😭): “Teddy, I know that’s your burger. Stop being weird and just eat the burger.” —Mr. Bob Burger himself

Bonus: “Is this what you want you sick bastard?????” —Teddy

This exchange is so freaking funny, such a classic. Bob and Teddy’s yelling matches never fail to make me burst out laughing. And just the fact that this all happened because Bob gets so upset when people eat other burgers and like them, so everyone has to pretend to not like other burgers?? Hilarious. He’s such a sensitive man, I love him so much.

—(From “The Runaway Club”): “I’m a little disappointed too. Before I saw it on you, I thought this bracelet was classy.” —Tina

Bonus: “Take. It. Off.” —Tammy

“I. Would. Rather. Die.” —Tina

“THEN YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!” —Tammy

Tina’s line here is so good. I love how she can come up with really good one-liners to get back at Tammy when she wants to. And Tammy getting so jealous and angry?? Hilarious. And then Jocelyn panicking and pulling the fire alarm?? And then Jimmy Jr. being an absolute dumbass and just spraying a fire extinguisher everywhere? 11/10 scene.

Plus, you gotta love how protective Gene and Louise get over Tina here: “Get your hands off my sister 😡”

—(Deleted line from “Father of the Bob”): “He lets me eat as much Tylenol as I want! 😄”

Yes, I’m including a link to the animation I did for this scene yesterday, don’t judge me.

Anyway, this line is actual comedy gold. I can’t believe they cut it. Yes, they don’t want kids to be irresponsible with Tylenol. But it’s so funny!! Gene, sweetie, please don’t overdose on medicine.

It’s also really sweet how much the kids love their Pop Pop. It’s just really nice that they have a grandparent they love because Gloria and Al are the worst.

—(From “Tina-Ranasaurus Wrecks”): “TINA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EITHER TURN AWAY OR STOP—THE BRAKES, TINA, YOU’RE ABOUT TO—HIT THE BRAKES” —Bob

Bonus: “God, you’re so honest. Who raised you?” —Bob

“I don’t know 😫” —Tina

This scene absolutely sends me Every. Single. Time. It’s so good. Just Tina’s constant groaning and Bob’s panic which only grows as they get closer to the only other car in the parking lot?? I can’t. His yelling at the end never fails to send me into a fit of laughter. There's just something about the way H. Jon Benjamin delivered it.

And the fact that the car Tina hit was Jimmy Pesto’s? That makes this scene even funnier.

—(From “Can’t Buy Me Math”): “Did someone order takeout or should I say take off?? 😏” —Bob

Bonus: “No one wants to see that! 😡” —Random patron at Jimmy Pesto’s

“Hey! I do! 🤬” —Linda

This is one of my all-time favorite Boblin moments, tied only with the flashback scene from the movie, and probably their moment in “Bob, Actually”. 

Aside from how hilarious it is (I mean, “Takeout or should I say take off” lives rent-free in my head), it goes to show just how much these two love and adore each other. Bob was willing to be naked in full view of customers at Jimmy Pesto’s and he still did the strip tease because he loves Linda that much.

They definitely had a fun night together 😏

(From “The Plight Before Christmas”): “So jolly. I didn’t expect to feel this way. I was focusing on Santa, but the best presents are sitting here. And they aren’t even wrapped up.” —Louise 🥹

This scene makes me sob every single time. I think the part that gets me the most is the moment where Louise looks into the audience and sees Tina came to see her give the poem. Tina in this moment reminds me so much of my older sister it makes me way too emotional I might actually get sick. Without words, it showed their sisterly bond in such a beautiful way. And then Louise’s actual poem??????? I can’t handle it. The way she eloquently describes in poem form how much she cares about her family can’t be done justice in words.

God, I need a minute to recover from this.

And that’s my top eight! Here are some honorable mentions because there are just too many good quotes from this gem of a show:

—(From “The Gene Mile”): “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, CHANGE MY PHONE EVERY TEN YEARS??” —Teddy

“Y E S” —Bob

—(From “Dream a Little Bob of Bob”): “I DID IT. HELL YEAHHHHHHHH” —Tina

—(From “Boyz 4 Now”): “I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.” —Tina

—(From “Two For Tina”): “When you say no, it makes me want you more!!!!!! 😫” —Jimmy Jr.

—(From “Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien”): “It’s not a good feeling when they say everyone, but they don’t mean you.” —Gene

—(From “Torpedo”): “But I call you dad! I think of it as Dad’s Burgers!” —Gene

—(From “Best Burger”) “Dad!! I’m sorry I screwed up today. I’m sorry I screw up all the time! 😣” —Gene

Bonus: “Gene, you might make mistakes from time to time, but I love you and I love who you are.” —Bob 🥺

—(From “Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid”): “You were the only one interested in my innovative new menu. I was like you when I was a kid, you know. That’s how I got interested in cooking. And as soon as you pass that sip test, I’ll eat dinner with you.” —Bob

Bonus: “🎶 I could still be a winner, when I eat Dad’s Thanksgiving dinner! 🎶” —Gene

“That was beautiful, Gene 🥲” —Bob

“Thank you, Father~” —Gene

—(From “Mazel-Tina”): “Wow, Dad. I never realized how soulful your eyes are.” —Gene

“*Sighs* Gene. Wait, really?” —Bob

—(From “The Hauntening”): “Dad. I think you’re doing a really good job as a Dad.” —Gene

“Okay.” —Bob

“I’m having a really good childhood.” —Gene

“Okay, great.” —Bob

“Not right now, but overall.” —Gene

“I got it, thanks.” —Bob

“No, thank you. Thank you for your service.” —Gene

(From “Lil’ Hard Dad”): “You’re still my hero, Dad 😌” —Gene

“You’re mine too, Gene.” —Bob

(From “Broadcast Wagstaff School News”): “*Gasps* Travel-Sized Bob, awwwwww!!” —Linda

Bonus: “Muppet baby Bobby!!! :D” —Linda

(From “Lindapendent Woman”): “I’d rather be scraping by together than have extra money and be apart.” —Bob, AKA the best husband ever

(From “Mother Daughter Laser Razor”): “Wait. Mom. You don’t think I like you?” —Louise

Bonus (just for you, Babs!): “They just needed to see things from each other’s perspective 🥹” —Logan Barry Bush

(From “A-Sprout A Boy”): “I’ll never make you eat vegetables for breakfast, sweetie.” —Linda

“I love you, Mom (:” —Louise

(From “The Pickleorette”): “Oh my God, of course I’d hold your hand. I don’t want you to be scared. You’re my big, strong boy.”

(From "Sliding Bobs"): “Hey! You’ve got a lot of nerve picking on girl’s diamond rings with your thick, luxurious, Tom Selleckian mustache….. Hi.” —Linda

“Hi. My eyes are up here. Should we get some scissors?” —Bob

“What’s the rush? 😏” —Linda

(From “Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?”): “Thank you, Gene. You’re a great large brother.” —Louise

“Anytime, shrimp.” -Gene, AKA the best big brother ever

(From “A Few ‘Gurt Men”): “I’m good at law!” —Gene, AKA the best lawyer ever

(From “Carpe Museum”): “So, when you take over the restaurant, will you call it Louise’s Burgers?” —Bob

“I don’t know. Maybe. Daddy.” —Louise

(From “Hawk and Chick”): “This Hawk and Chick will never not talk for thirty years!” —Bob

(I forgot which episode this is from but if someone can tell me, that would be much appreciated!): "I've got a license to counsel." --Mr. Frond

"Double O-So-Sad." --Louise

"Louise. Be nice." --Bob

"Why? It's Mr. Frond!" --Louise

(From "The Frond Files"): "I LOCKED MYSELF IN A RUH-OOOM WHILE CHILDREN WERE EATEN!!!!!!!!!!!!" --Mr. Frond

I need to cut myself off now but there are even more quotes I could’ve added 😭

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

ahh i loved the story. here's my 13 random reactions to the parts (apologies for the length i loved it and had a lot to say🥰)

"Your dad told me you’re unwell. Call me when you can. No need to go through this on your own." i really liked this text because your words show how much he cares and wants to be there for her without being overbearing. also the fact that scott told him!

"“Oh baby” is all he brings out for a second. The little tear escaping Taylor’s eye and rolling its way over her cheek hasn’t remained unnoticed by him." the fact that he noticed FROM A TINY PHONE SCREEN

"She knows the second he learned about her fainting backstage after the show". when i tell you my heart SKIPPED A BEAT don't scare me like this!

"simply fit her little big world into the palm of his kind hands right now." is this an ivy reference or just a coincidence?

"“Hey, it’s okay to cry sometimes. Don’t try to play it all cool with me. I hate when you do that.”" a guy that understands emotions i love it!

"I love you, too."🥺🥺🥺

"He’s never had to deal with her lows before. She never had to ask herself if this could be too much for him, as it has been for everyone before him." if he loves her at her worst he'll love her at her best

"But her collapsing backstage last night did something to him. It’s in his eyes, it’s in the way this question comes out of his mouth so firmly. He's scared. He cares." HE CARES!!!

"“I almost had a heart attack when your dad told me you passed out last night.” he says, and she sighs. She knows this incident scared him. She can’t blame him. If she were to ever get a call from his mom, telling her that he fainted on the other side of the world she would probably lose her damn mind." again, the fact that he cares so much and is so worried. i also think that you did a good job with this part like not having it the main focus but showing the characters emotions/feelings towards it

"It’s been so hard focusing on anything after Argentina." me too travis me too

"can already hear Dustin from her team speaking". is this the same dustin as the guy from the stadium handing out water?

"I was asked by Tree to bring it to you directly". tree is the biggest tayvis shipper confirmed!

"Because I’m always with you, even when you can’t see me. I’m so proud of you. I love you. Travis" THE FLOWERS AWWW

ANON, MESSAGES LIKE THIS ARE WHAT I WRITE FOR 😭😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹🥹thanks so much for your detailed feedback :) and I’m so glad you liked it! ❤️

[eulchu]

Just watched the hotwheels dnf clip again and it just hit me all over again how insane those streams were and how obviously in love they looked (and are) and how FUCKING INSANE George was for choosing that outfit in particular to wear like, he just wanted to make it SO blatantly clear he’s Dream’s - I’m crying. I am Unwell. Anyway, looking forward to whatever this year’s Christmas streams bring us XD

- Blob anon

its gonna be their one year anniversary and its gonna be awesoem😭😭😭

[tearsasmascara]

omg quinn this is so cute.. can i req something 😭😭😭 no pressure to do it ok!!!! i think this is a rly sweet idea thank u for doing this for others :,)

i’d love a thoma x sick!reader with fluff if thats okay 😭 am currently feeling super under the weather bc its my that time of the month so anything to do with sick characters and fluff would be greatly appreciated huhuhu 🥲

as always no pressure to get this done okay!! i hope i did this right :,)

YING!! i’m so glad to see you requesting ahhh <3 so here’s the thing i don’t know thoma well so i tried my hardest to write him in character i hope he is!! this one took a while bc just as i started I GOT SICK WGDKDHS so i just got to writing it a bit ago. i’m really not proud of this at all so if you have any feedback i would love it so much !! thank you <33 and take care of yourself :3 also tell me if there’s any mistakes ahhh

btw!! this is a small thing but i think it could be a trigger warning, it’s mentioned the reader has tears in their eyes after taking pills, so if you have trouble with pills it can be taken that way but if that’s personal and you don’t like it, think of it as you coughed wayyyy too much shdkhd it’s up to your imagination!! again i hope you like this ying !!

a groan left your lips as you shifted in your seat, the words in front of you dancing and twirling. the burning in your chest built up and you lifted your arm to cough into it for the nth time.

crap. you were definitely sick.

you also had to finish this last piece of work up, and a part of your mind itched at you to finish it before you rest. your fingers typed frantically as your eyes squinted at the glaring screen, a pathetic attempt to shield yourself.

a soft click sounded from the front of your room, the sound blending in with the symphony of your keys clacking. light footsteps pulled a creak out of the tired floorboards, the sound snapping you out of your funk.

“thoma?” hope stumbled out of your lips in the form of your lovers name, and it was satiated as thoma stepped into the room, a small smile gracing his face.

“hello dear.” a pause followed as thoma’s eyes searched your face, his smile slowly giving way to a frown saturated in worry.

“you look,, unwell.”

fuzziness creeped out from the corners of your eyes as you peeked up at him, the temperature of your fever affecting you in ways you didn’t think was possible.

“stay here darling.” thoma said before he left, as if your muscles would listen to you if you even attempted to move. not even a minute later, thoma returns, a small thermometer dangling from his fingers. his fingers tapped at your chin, a smile painted with sympathy forming.

“open up, let me check your temperature.” your tongue pressed down on the cool plastic, and a small whimper left your throat at the unwanted intrusion. thomas’s hand moved to your cheek, his fingers slightly rubbing your cheekbone as he waited, his actions showing more love then any words could at this moment.

a loud beep interrupted the momentary silence, and the device was fished out of your mouth gently. thomas eyes squinted as he peered at the numbers on the screen, the corners of his mouth turning down slightly.

“you’re running a bad fever. have you eaten?” his question was answered as your stomach made a noise pitifully in response.

“i guess not. let’s get some food and meds in you, and then you can rest. i don’t want you feeling worse.” thoma set the thermometer gently aside, and you could see his brain mentally making a small list containing all the things to clean and tidy.

you shook your head groggily, your body saying thing and your words another.

“i have to finish. this one um.” you pointed vaguely at your work, hoping he’d get the picture.

his eyebrow raised, the action speaking a question his lips didn’t. a deep sigh left your chest as you just weakly shook your head.

“i can’t.”

thoma looked down at you, a small smile spreading over his face as he moved closer.

“i’ll just have to,” he paused, his arms wrapping around you as he lifted you, your hands immediately flying to his neck for support, “aid you in your decision making.”

a complaining whine left your body as you rested your face in the crook of his neck.

“my decision making process is perfectly fine.” you mumbled into him. his laugh vibrated throughout your body’s as he shifted you in his hold.

“right, and i have black hair darling.” a small chuckle left him at his own joke and your own frown was replaced by a giggle.

gentle hands eased you onto the bed, thoma’s embrace being replaced by the embrace of the soft bed. your eyes closed automatically, you just realized how utterly exhausted you were. soft shuffling was picked up by your ears, and you reluctantly opened your eyes to see thoma leaving the room gracefully, his actions quick and smooth. you rested your head against the headboard, but was promptly picked it up again as another coughing fit overtook your body. you sighed, your eyes closing again as you let sleep overtake you, a time pass as you waited for your lover.

“love.” a thumb brushed over your cheek as your eyes opened slightly, trying to register what was happening.

thoma stood in front of you, a bowl of hot soup and a small container of pills sitting on your beside table. time passed slowly as thoma helped you eat, soft praises filling the air as the bowl slowly emptied. shapes were rubbed into your back as you choked down your pills, gentle hands wiping the tears from your eyes.

“you did so well dear.” thomas eyes crinkled he looked at you, a soft kiss being placed to your forehead, as he sat in a chair beside your bed, one of his hands smoothing your hair, the other resting on top of your hand.

“now my love. you work so hard. i’m so proud of you, and that won’t lessen just because you’re resting. in fact i’ll be even more proud.” he winked at you, sending your heart into a flurry.

a kiss was pressed into your temple, another to your cheek.

“sleep well darling.”

and with that, you drifted off into a world created by your imagination.

hi !! thank you for reading this! if you did please rb (tags make me so happy but no pressure) and i hope you liked it!

taglist; @calyxcore, @ireallylikehamsters (send an ask to be removed or added)

[tddyhyck]

gahhhhh u’re lit so sweet u make me so giddy i’m gonna cRY. i’ve been okay, just rlly tired 😩 i finally got to listen to the full new album and i absolutely loved it 🥺 how did u find it?! (smoothie’s first frame with jaem. twirls hair.)

idk why but i find ur jeno problems so cute u’re so funny when u talk about him 😭😭 u r so real for wanting to bite him. BLSS what u said about jaemin,, i’m not okay 😭 am i messed up for imagining his reaction to you doing it all over his face? 😭😭😭😭😭 HELLO WHAT U SAID ABOUT JENOOOO……… unwell screeching into a pillow. renjun is so cute but i have not been the same since a wild day in 2022 (sorry that’s so specific, i love being dramatic) when i thought of sweet but strict dom renjun with a silly dumb s/o. what sort of fucked up fantasies do u think he has 🤩 (dw u don’t have to elaborate if there r none, just making ✨light conversation✨ w u 🫶) but u calling him soft has me 🥺🥺🥺 cus i looooove soft,, same with u saying hyuck is “gentle and sticky sweet” eeeeek. cute embarrassed closeted freak jisung 🥰

WHAT U SAID ABOUT THE CHENLEEEEE FIC AWMYGOD pls get carried away as much as u want because that one paragraph ended me with all its sweetness i am fr ready to cry 😭❤️ it’s /so/ soft i love it.

whiny mark 🤩🥰 that’s a nice quote 💕 CHENLE STUFFING THEM IN UR MOUTH WHEN U GET HOME OHMYGHEHFHGBSH WHY WOULD U DO THIS !!!!!

i enjoy chatting with u too 🥺🥺🥰💖💕❤️✨ u toooo! i hope u’ve been well 🫶 

~🪄

awww bestie u are precious 🥺 ,, i am so obsessed with the ep/mini idk what it’s called what’s your fav song?? i really love all of them like it’s hard for me to choose bc different vibes for each tune u know and the styling this era is immaculate also the fansigns i am EATING it up ,,, u are so real about jaemin i have to rewind every performance for his intro 🤤

jeno just makes me feel so feral but also so idk loved ?? like i just know he would be a good partner and it makes me delulu ., i feeL like jaem and would be into it but he would have to coax you making he’s on his knees under you and your standing partially over him and your knees are shaking but he’s rubbing you thighs and being all sweet and praising u ,,,, he’s very yes to me

i need to know about the wild day in 2022 … renjun the man that u are his hair this comeback is sooo cute the purple suits him 😭😭

him being soft and strict with a dumb s/o is SO REAL,, i think he def would be thinking nasty stuff but didn’t want to freak his partner out so he would keep it in but maybe one day they spill about something he’s been dying to do and he’s all giddy and can’t wait ,,

i could see him being into rope play ,, hear me out he’s an artistic lil guy and he wants to make pretty shapes and patterns on your skin he’d pick rope that like perfectly complements his partners skin tone and tie the most beautiful knots ,,, maybe just leave you for a bit while he admires his work ,, even rigging a vibrator up to keep against your clit and your crying and begging to cum and he’s just taunting and teasing and ,,, yes

also think he would be a dom that would use spanking as a punishment and he’s bending you over his knee but he would be so soft despite the slaps ,,, caressing your skin touching you everywhere

also collars and any sort of possessive item like not those ppl that wear hardcore collars around 24/7 but a more subtle piece of jewelry that would be a symbol of ownership

ok i got carried away

jisung is such a freak it’s always the quiet ones u know ,,

chenle would pull them out and they’re still messy and sticky and tell you you’re being too loud before he shoves them in your mouth,,

i’ve been pretty good !! thank u for being so sweet and letting me talk too much 🤭🤭

[bi-bats]

hello!! i was just wondering, since the damitim fic is ongoing, does this mean know yourself updates are slowed/paused? (not a complaint i’m loving both!!)

Hiya!! Sorry that I never give easy answers 😂

So yes, Know Yourself updates are slower (not paused or on hiatus!! I am working on it still), but it's not because of the DamiTim fic.

I've been writing Know Yourself for over a year now (even though I haven't been posting it that long) and I'm just struggling with getting the words on the page to be what I want them to be. The plot is sorted out and I'm content with what I'm going to make happen, but also when I think about the fic my brain starts to feel the way my eyes do when I stare at a screen too long 😂 so I'm trying to be patient with myself and let myself take my time with it instead of pushing something out that I'm really not happy with, because 1) I think it'll show, 2) I'll just burn myself out, and 3) if I treat it like a chore it'll never get finished.

Also I've realized (post-jaytimweek) that I prefer writing in present tense, it makes everything feel more natural to me and I can control some writing things like timing and flow a little better and I WROTE OVER 100K WORDS IN PAST TENSE FOR THAT FIC AND I'M NOT FUCKING SWITCHING NOW!!!! SO I GUESS I GOTTA FINISH IT IN PAST TENSE!!!!

And also we're at the point in the plot of Know Yourself where I'm really stepping on the gas on the number of things happening per chapter, and the chapters are overwhelmingly long. And I would love to simply be more brief, but everything happening is relevant to the plot, so. Sigh.

Now, the DamiTim fic.

That one is just going up because that fic is happening to me. I can't prevent that fic from occurring. I would love to think about something else, actually! That boy is so unwell! But that's what I'm feeling inspired about and lately I've only been able to write when something worms into my brain and I have to put it on the page immediately no matter where I am or what I'm doing (I have a newish manager who doesn't know how to write a schedule, so I'm currently on day 7 of a ten day stretch of work where I only had one day off, which I had to spend doing all my chores and then hosting D&D. So basically, gone are the days off where I could just sit at my computer and write for a day 😭😭😭).

Also, Ive been having problems with Know Yourself since May, but the DamiTim fic is just fucking pouring out of me fugue state style. My brain hasn't latched onto DamiTim and released Know Yourself in favor of it, it's that the claws of Know Yourself began to unsink from my flesh like, 2 months ago and DamiTim saw its chance. Like, this isn't about to be a cute analogy, but I feel like I'm vomiting out the DamiTim fic because it's a virus. It can't be in my brain anymore okay? I need it out. And it feels like a shame to have like, almost 40k words of it written and just sitting in my drafts when I could be updating it (which I'm sure you appreciate if you're loving that one too 😂), and it has the added benefit of yall knowing I haven't abandoned the fandom/preventing yall from thinking that something horrible has happened to me!

Tldr/to reiterate: yes I'm slowing down on Know Yourself, but it's not because of any of the other chaptered fics I'm working on.

Anyways, sorry this got long and ranty, I think I needed to vent all this out anyways so thank you for giving me a chance to do that!! And also thank you for phrasing your ask the way you did, I really appreciate you specifying that you're not complaining 😂 this is a valid question (that did not upset me but could've if the phrasing was different) and I didn't feel pressured so thank you!!! Ily anon 💕💖💚

[tenteen]

hi beautiful. what are your buffy opinions. lay 'em all on me

Riley sucks i hope they kill him horribly . i hated him the second he showed up i knewwww it was going to be a romance i hated watching. elaboration: hes like if they made everything about Bangel uninteresting and (as far as i am) have not at all examined any power dynamics between the two, and i feel like if they do they will find a way to position Buffy over him since they love to connect them on the monster hunting front but since shes the mystical slayer she has some kind of power over Riley. I can see it now. Also he treats her like 11 treats clara with the whole obsessing over her being enigmatic or whatever and i hate him

i used to be a Xander hater but hes grown on me a lot but he still can be so sucks sometimes and also it gets annoying when all Joss does is use him for a mouthpiece for his jokes. I understand hes a self insert but it makes it even more annoying

I wish we knew anything about Olivia its cool to see her in the show and its not like. super important but if shes going to keep showing up in Giles’ life i want to know about her !!

I’m all for gay willow im ready for it but the way they made Oz leave the show was so OOC and i loved him and willow together and honestly? Wild At Heart wasnt a terrible episode i enjoyed it even and from my understanding Seth Green had a movie he wanted to be in so he was written out. well :p he did not deserve that

I have not watched any Angel yet and I really miss cordelia… badly

willow buffy should be end game. to me. thank you and goodnight

s3 was probably my favorite so far the mayor plotline was legitimately so good and fascinating. ok ill stop ramblint bc i cant think of anything else ive been thinking abt super hard. Im so excited to see more of Tara and still being grateful i know fuck all about this show. Hush was episode of all time. also BEER BAD IS NOT THAT BAD OF AN EPISODE I HAD FUN WATCHING IT IT WAS SO SILLY.

also it was criminal how short lived some of the best characters are. Faith Oz Drusilla …… And Angel i get he got his whole own show but I really just enjoyed seeing him in Buffy sometimes 😭 Do not talk to me abt S3’s ending or Amends or The Prom or any of that bc … I went insane for so many reasons and Bangel made me genuinely unwell

ok now i’ll tell u my fave characters (in order) and finish this post . thank u for asking feel feel to rip me apart in my replies and pls dont spoil me for anything !!

Willow

Buffy

Giles

Spike

Drusilla

Oz

Faith

Cordelia

Angel

Harmony

Xander

if u read all of this bless u

[zhongster]

Please go through with that Steve one shot or even an Eddie one I absolutely ADORE your headcanons about them their so good 😭🙏

Hahahah thank you I tried my best :)

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

“EAT SHIT THESSALHYDRA!” Steve heard Dustin shout from down the hall.

Steve was currently standing in his kitchen dishing up the pizza he had ordered and bitterly regretting his decision to let Eddie host his DnD campaign at his house. Eddie had begged and pleaded with Steve for weeks to let him bring hellfire to the Harrington residence and Steve had finally relented two days prior to the gathering he now found himself at. Steve was really wishing he hadn’t told Eddie yes, not because they were too loud or too annoying but because Steve had really started to feel unwell. His stomach felt really tightly packed with air, to the point where even moving was painful. Steve just wanted the campaign to end so he could release all the pent up air in his stomach without completely sacrificing his dignity.

He picked up the tray of pizza and carried it back into his living room. Upon seeing Steve, the kids got up and descended upon the pizza like locusts. This spurred Eddie to call a time out on the campaign and grab a slice of pizza for himself. He plopped down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him, prompting Steve to sit.

When Steve finally did sit down Eddie shot him a confused glance. “Aren’t you gonna eat Steve?” He asked.

“Nah I’m actually kinda full” Steve replied

Eddie apparently still wasn’t convinced because instead of moving on and eating his own pizza, he furrowed his brows and gave Steve a scrutinizing look, “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

Steve only nodded and gave Eddie a reassuring smile, he didn’t completely trust himself to speak without belching. Eddie didn’t look convinced but he decided to drop it anyway. He began eating his pizza with one hand and reached up to gently rub Steve’s back with the other. Ordinarily Steve would relish the feeling of Eddie’s hand on his back, however at the moment it was only making it harder for Steve to keep the air from forcing itself out of his throat. “Ahh Eddie please don’t you’re gonna make me— HRRRMMMPPP!”

Steve just barely managed to stifle the closed-mouth burp that Eddie’s hand had coaxed up. It seemed as though it wasn’t loud enough for any of the kids to hear however it was deep enough for Eddie to hear. “WOAH, Steve?!” Eddie whisper-yelled “that was huge, is your stomach okay?”

“Oh god, excuse me I’m so sorry” Steve apologized.

Before Eddie had a chance to respond another sizeable burp forced its way up Steve’s throat, however this one was loud enough for the whole room to hear. Every head in the room snapped over to look at Steve in pure shock. Many of them hadn’t heard Steve burp at all, let alone one so large. Once he got over his shock, Dustin immediately started whooping and hollering. “WAY TO GO STEVE!” He yelled.

Steve buried his face in his hands out of pure shame. The worst part about the whole situation was that the two burps that had managed to escape him hadn’t done anything to relieve the tight feeling in his stomach. As Steve sat stewing in his shame he felt a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll be right back,” Eddie’s voice sounded from Steve’s right “come on Stevie.”

The hand on his shoulder, which he had now identified as Eddie’s, gently pulled him to his feet and down the hallway. Eddie led Steve into his own bedroom and sat him down on the bed. “Okay Steve, we’re alone now you can let it out” Eddie decreed.

Steve stubbornly pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I don’t wanna be gross” he whined.

Eddie frowned before his face lit up with an idea. He immediately proceeded to pound his fist against his chest. “Eddie what the hell are you doing?” Steve asked.

As soon as Steve asked his question an absolutely massive belch rolled out of Eddie’s chest. When it finally came to a conclusion Eddie sighed before flashing Steve a wide smile “See I burped too, so you don’t need to be embarrassed!”

“Eddie oh my god” Steve laughed.

“C’mere Steve lemme help you” Eddie said, sitting on the bed and reaching out his arms.

Steve obeyed and sat down next to Eddie. Eddie proceeded to gently pull Steve towards him until his back was pressed against his chest. “Don’t hold back at all Steve” Eddie instructed.

Eddie placed his hand on Steve’s distended stomach and began to rub. Eventually Eddie’s ministrations reached the lower part of Steve’s belly. This is where Eddie’s rhythm changed and he gently pressed into Steve’s underbelly. This gentle press found a disproportionately large rolling belch making its way out of Steve’s mouth. “There ya go!” Eddie praised.

As much as Steve hated it, that belch had been relieving so he decided to give in completely and let Eddie take care of him. Eddie continued to rub Steve’s belly for the next several minutes. Every gentle press Eddie administered was met with a rather large belch from Steve.

Eventually Steve’s gas tapered off and he was left feeling both deflated and exhausted. Eddie kissed the top of Steve’s head in a sort of non-verbal “good job”. When Eddie moved to stand up Steve grabbed grabbed his hand and looked up at him with pleading eyes, “Will you stay here?” He asked.

Eddie smiled and sat back down, scooping Steve into his arms. “And could you maybe…” Steve started, embarrassed “keep rubbing? it feels good.”

Eddie barked a loud laugh before resuming his gentle ministrations to Steve’s tummy.

Hours later, when the party began to grow impatient waiting for Eddie’s return, they’d send Max to go find him. Upon coming across Steve and Eddie, cuddled up and asleep on Steve’s bed, she’d smirk and head back to the living room, wondering what she might tell the party to get them to leave the lovebirds alone.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

I’m writing this from a paleontology society meeting this time lmaoooo. Time to learn about trilobites and clover’s traumatic past in one fell swoop.

Also I watch binged dimension 20 a court of fey and flowers and am now in the mood for some regency romance/drama let’s goooooo

Lmaoooo clover straight up saying that an apology wouldn’t work without even trying😂😂 queen of the emotionally constipated dumbasses club (I think we all know who the king would be…. (Not romantically just in general)

Yessss her uncle is calling her out on her bullshit finally!! I love that everyone who loves her is totally willing to call her on her shit and she completely refuses to listen to any of them lmaoooooo

“The head of the family said yes” LMAOOOOOOO I mean we knew they were going to bond over their protectiveness of Lottie but this is genuinely hilarious

“She doesn’t like you anthony” lmfaooooo damn Ben. I love how you write them like normal siblings just roasting the shit out of one another.

(Have you seen that LOTR tumblr post that’s like when the fellowship is half reunited and they all start roasting one another immediately and the king goes like ‘surely we are witnessing the reunion of dear friends’ or something like that? Anyway that’s siblings in ur fic. They roast because they care (like monsters inc but not))

Lmao Ben and Anthony and clover are that meme from the office of the three people pointing finger guns at one another

(note: at my meeting they’re talking about paleobotany which feels fitting for it being the meeting I’m reading clover’s story in lololol)

I do wonder if Lottie was more willing to listen to clover because she doesn’t know her as well, so the betrayal stung less, or because clover was the one who inadvertently revealed it, compared to Ben and Anthony who would have theoretically would’ve kept it a secret forever.

…. Does Lottie know what lust is? Also bless her for forgiving clover right away and being understanding. I just hope no one overheard them talking….

Omgggg they’re bound by fate that’s so sweet 😭

Oooooh the marina/Colin scandal is coming up!!! Haha Anthony really isn’t getting a break

“Holding you” skdjndsnnddndn I am unwell. The way that they’re so casually affectionate even when no one else is around and clover still thinks that they’re not in love with one another I just-

SHE CALLED ANTHONY FAMILY AND SHE APOLOGIZED?!!??!!!??!!!??? HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING PEOPLE SHES GROWING AS A HUMAN BEING

(also knowing that her parents are going to come and ruin this as soon as possible…. Grrrrr….)

Fuck this chapter is an instant fave for sure

CMA my love hiiii! 🥰😍

Oh that sounds like a very fun meeting! 😁

Exactly! 😂 She's not used to apologizing at all, so she was so using that as an excuse 😁 And her uncle knows her so well😂

Both Anthony and Clover absolutely adore Lottie🥰 And them bonding over that will be entertaining for sure! 😁

I love how you write them like normal siblings just roasting the shit out of one another. IT IS SUCH A FUN DYNAMIC😍 I'm so happy to hear that you like it, I love writing them like that 😂

Wait I haven't seen that LOTR post! Ooooh I'm so curious now! ❤️

Totally fitting for Clover😁

I think there were a lot of reasons why Lottie was willing to listen to her! ❤️ One of them was that she approached her first and another one is, like you said, Clover ended up telling her the truth even if it wasn't intentional, while Anthony and Benedict were still hiding it from her ❤️

Lottie definitely does know what lust is😈 And she'll get to experience it soon 😏

Bound by fateeee🥰

Anthony needs to take Lottie and go on a realllyyyyy long holiday to get over the string of scandals this season 😁

They are having a bunch of romantic moments for months now, and Clover is still in so much denial 😂

Character development my beloved! 😂 It only took her like thirty chapters😂

Thank you so much for this darling! ❤️ I hope you're having a wonderful day! ❤️

[tuiyla]

i’m glad you remembered that i hate the snixx thing because i really was risking my reputation here by even making that awful joke. you see the sacrifices i make for this fandom even when i’m not actually around anymore?? 😔 oh btw this is unrelated to everything we’ve talked about but whats ur favorite song from the ‘Adventure Time: Distant Lands - Obsidian’ soundtrack (long title, damn) bc while i love Woke Up & Monster so much, i’m partial to Eternity With You bc it makes me cry so hard -dan

You can't just remind me that Obsidian exists like that, it's been two years and I'll never be over it 😭 Bubbline mean more to me than words can express

Oof tough, well Monster and Woke Up are the two big ones aren't they? Eternity With You makes me cry so hard too but I'll never not choose an Olivia Olson song oops so... maybe Woke Up? It's interesting because Woke Up is obviously super angsty one and Monster is so soft and hopeful. And I vibe with that and I'm head over heels for the lyrics. (For the record I only stole your sweater ‘cause I wanted you close to me???? what in the actual Sapphic fuck) But Woke Up is a) an absolute banger and b) can't help it, I'm living for the Bubbline angst. Getting this in 2020 after having been obsessed with I'm Just Your Problem for eight years... it was revolutionary. I very much view them as companion songs. Then again Monster references I'm Just Your Problem and believe me that makes me sob, but there's just something about the vindication of getting a song like Woke Up after all those years. It's delicious. Monster is close behind though. I guess it's that Monster was released before the episode premiered? So I more or less prepared for that, whereas Woke Up slapped me in the face as I was watching for the first time so it has that impact on its side.

That said I listening to Eternity With You right now and uuuuuuugh so unwell about them and their story. I think about watching this show in 2012 when it took them another year after What Was Missing to dare do another episode with Marcy and PB and then this coming out in 2020... breathtaking. I'll never shut up about how monumental that is.

Please talk to me about Adventure Time whenever 😌 I love that show so much and Bubbline is VERY easily an all-time top 3 ship for me.

[cubedmango]

YOU’RE WELCOME BELOVED OMG I’M JUST SO HAPPY YOU GOT TO SEE THEM YOU DESERVED IT BUT ALSO FUCKNSKSG):&:? honestly the problem with having them downloaded is everytime I open my gallery and go to the favourites folder the thumbnails are there and it’s like a SICK TAUNT OF OH REMEMBER THIS HAPPENS? WELL YOU STILL GOTTA WAIT TO WATCH IT but oh my god. zaina. Oh my God I can’t explain there are truly no. words to explain how that messed me up I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS I REALLY DON’T KNOW BUT THE HANDSSSSSS LIKE MALFUNCTIONING IS THE ONLY WAY TO DESCRIBE IT BECAUSE ):£:!&::? only cherry magic like only them there was no need there was NONE why did they have to move their hands together like that why did they have to embed love and tenderness into every gesture THE FUCKIN CAMERA ANGLES ON THE [REDACTED] AND WHEN ADACHI JUST HELD UP KUROSAWA’S HAND I’M ACTUALLY BAWLING😭 I felt every single one of the exclamation marks you used like it truly feels like there’s seagulls in my brain i’m worried my neighbours think i’m insane like I just don’t understand how they managed to turn something so small as the union of hands into something so MOVING so EARNEST and so tender it’s such a trademark for cherry magic also same tbh… like yeah sure some people wanted a real kiss but I honestly don’t mind it at all like are we kidding the way kurosawa’s eyes fluttering closed… adachi being so nervous but initiating it first………. The INTERLACING………… THEY NEVER ONCE THOUGHT ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH WHILE MAKING THIS DAMN MOVIE and please I’m not even gonna begin to talk about that last part . I have never seen such a strong look of love before in all my years of life they make me feel as though even if I ever found love it would never compare i’m Tired . ALSO PLS I LOVE HOW YOU JUST GET IT LIKE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS WE’RE THE SAME🫂🫂 WE’RE NEVER GONNA BE FREEEEE I don’t know what it is but kurodachi are just Different I haven’t even watched the movie yet but i’m already willing to go on my knees for a season two PLEEK (also sorry for the long message omg i’m so Unwell…,,.,)

day 583068 of naina and cherry magic anon's "Losing It Over This Movie They Havent Seen" experience and this time . we are losing it over A Couple Of Hands !!! BIG AGREE W EVERYTHING U SAID THO there rlly is smth different abt the kurodachi brand of hand holding tho like i just dont know how to explain it..... its just Tender™ and maybe i have watched the drama too many times but its just Their Thing™ like handholding was invented uniquely for my sons its true !! no one else is allowed to hold hands and go suki kawaii suki suki daisuki only them Only Them!!!!!!

also day 9462856 of me going "god i wish that were me" every time i see a movie spoiler but ur right smth like what they have is physically impossible irl like it just Cannot be real 😔😔 idk what crack they put into the cherry magic medias but somehow every single one of them has made me yearn so hard its actually incredible. i need to copy this formula for oc purposes

ID CRY IF S2 HAPPENS tho i doubt it tbh bc they basically condensed all of vol 6-10 into the movie and idk how many more volumes the manga is gonna have ?? but they could literally make a s2 of just kurodachis morning routine or them at work doing their job from 8-6 never even interacting besides the occasional glances and id eat that shit up i just want them baacckkk

[j0kers-light]

I got a oneshot idea (if you wanna do it).

In this Y/n and joker are in her apartment doing whatever, then someone knocks on the door.

Y/n makes joker hide in the bedroom while she checks the door. To see that it is her neighbour from a floor below with her 3 year old kid. Y/n curses before she opens the door because at that moment she remembers something she had promised to do.

Her neighbour had asked her to babysit months ago while she goes on a business trip only for a day. Y/n opens the door and they greet each other. Y/n had babysat the kid a few times before. It’s a chill toddler and just watches Bluey and naps, doesn’t talk much. Kid has little backpack with snacks, toys, favourite blanket and a few night nappies (diapers. I’m British that’s why)

Now the mum leaves and we have Y/n, (name of kid, you decide) and joker. Now obviously the joker can’t stay in the room alone. He has no patience for that. Walks out to find a toddler on the couch.

How will this interaction go? How will the day go? And will it end well?

(Side note: I think Joker would pull scary faces at the kid when y/n is not looking. And definitely gets jealous when she give the kid more attention.)

Ps - I think the little kid should be a little boy. I think it’s more fitting.

His Lighthouse: Baby Sat (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Baby Sat - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

OKAY! Stop what you're doing because I went over the board with this one!!! @c-dot2003 I'm sob crying, I am feral at the masterpiece I have created and its all thanks to you!! I could not stop writing after I started! You gave me a perfect image in my mind and this is the by product.

We talked about this but wow 😭😫😫 I might have to revisit this or add it to an official His Lighthouse chapter because WOW! Joker with a kid? That'll do it!

I am unwell. He's unwell. My eyes have water in them. ENJOY!

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher

Wanna be included in the His Lighthouse journey? Join the taglist!

Another bright and early day in the Y/L household. You were sitting on the couch, laptop in hand while Joker idly watched the morning news next to you.

Neither of you had plans for the day which is why when an urgent knock was heard from the front door, both of you were confused.

Joker arched an eyebrow as if saying, are you expecting anyone? You shook your head in the negative but set your laptop aside to go answer the door. Another urgent knock rasped against it.

"Geez.. I'm coming, I'm coming."

All it took was a look through the peephole to have you scrambling to action. "Uhh, j-just a second!" You turned back towards the living room where Joker was already staring at you from the couch. "Go hide!"

"Why?"

Of all days, why did Joker have an attitude today? He yawned when whoever standing outside gave up knocking and began ringing the doorbell.

You were about to yell at Joker but he turned the tv off and left the living room before you drew a breath. The second you heard his bedroom door slam closed, you opened the front door.

"Ana! What a pleasant surprise!"

The businesswoman was dressed for the office in a dress shirt tucked neatly inside a crisp pencil skirt. Her heels tapped loudly on the floor as she shifted her precious cargo in her grip.

"Sorry for knocking so loud, Y/n. I'm already running late and I have to make it to the train station before it leaves. Did you forget?" She asked when you tilted your head to the side.

"Pfff! No! Forget what?" You laughed nervously.

She wasn't buying it. "You promised to watch Gio for me."

That seemed to jog your memory. You did forget when Ana struck up a conversation on the elevator a few months ago about her day long convention in Metropolis.

She was excited about her merger deal but she would have to cancel the closing ceremony if she couldn't find a babysitter. She went on and on about her dilemma and you listened, having nowhere else to go. Her husband would be on a business trip of his own so you took pity on your neighbour and agreed.

It was just one day watching a three year old. How bad could it be?

Ana swore up and down that Gio was the chillest kid ever and she wasn't lying. The three year old rested his head on his mother's chest and sucked his thumb while she talked. He hadn't made a sound since they arrived.

It wasn't your first time babysitting. You did it here and there for cash back in high school but you never watched over such a mellow kid before.

Would it really be this easy? Ana was willing to pay you handsomely for the job even after you denied payment.

You shook your head and returned to the present. You promised to help your neighbour. It was the right thing to do, even if you forgot.

"Yeah! Yeah! I remember. Come on in!" You stepped aside and waved your arm inside for her to follow. Ana smiled and began thanking you.

"I cannot thank you enough, love. James is already on a trip of his own and my usual nannies fell through. I packed an overnight bag for you."

You watched the Brit set a duffel bag down on your dining room table and shift Gio onto her hip.

He finally noticed you and waved his chubby fist your way. His brunet hair was sticking every which way and he still had sleep in his eyes, it was so early.

"He'll probably sleep in until noon. If not, he likes to watch cartoons, Bluey to be exact. I packed his favourite snacks, toys and blankie. He can't sleep without it."

"His nappies are in here and that'll do it. If you need anything, and I mean anything, give me a ring. Gio's never an interruption. You'll be a good boy for Miss. Y/n?" She cooed to her son.

He nodded his head and yawned. He was the cutest!

"Still sleepy he is. Mum loves you and she'll be back tomorrow morning, bright an' early. Be good!" She kissed the crown of his hair before handing him to you.

He was so light and warm in your arms. It had been a while since you held a little one. You were getting a little emotional.

You were worried that Gio wouldn't accept you but sure enough, he nuzzled up to you just like he did with his mum. Ana cooed at the adorable sight and checked her smartwatch.

"I gotta run. Thank you again, Y/n!" She let herself out as you waved goodbye.

The door closed and then it was just you and Gio. He was already dozing off but you helped him along with a soft lullaby you knew.

Once you were certain the kiddo was fast asleep, you gently placed him on your couch.

It was plush enough to keep him in place. You didn't want him rolling over and taking a plunge to the floor but just in case, you arranged pillows and such, should you fail to catch him in time.

You then grabbed his personal blanket from his overnight bag and tossed it over his shoulders.

You made sure your house guest was secure before you grabbed your laptop and got back to work. You hoped your rhythmic keystrokes were soothing to Gio. The little tyke was fast asleep and his long lashes fluttering mid dream made you smile.

Your head nodded to an imaginary beat as you worked on writing a new scene for your book. You were so lost in the moment, you didn't notice that time had passed until your stomach growled.

Your gaze flickered over to Gio and found him still asleep so you were confident you could run to the kitchen and back before anything bad could happen.

Sadly, you didn't factor in your roommate into the equation.

Joker hated when you had visitors because he had to take refuge in the bedroom. He could usually hear when people left, but today it was too quiet and you didn't come and tell him that the coast was clear.

With no way of knowing if it was safe or not, Joker was stuck in the guest bedroom until further notice. It wasn't the worst place to be cooped up, he just preferred being with you.

Joker had no plans but he wanted to spend the day in your company while he did nothing.

Ten minutes passed, then thirty until a full hour came and went with no word. Did you leave or something without telling him? Joker was not about to stay in his room all day until you came back. He did not have the patience for that.

With an annoyed growl on his lips, Joker poked his head out the door and looked down the hall.

The penthouse was dead quiet. You must've stepped out. It would've been nice if you told him before you left but whatever.

Joker walked past the kitchen, (at the exact moment you bent down to pick up something that you dropped) and headed towards the living room.

His Light was nowhere to be found.

You even left in such a hurry you didn't put your laptop away. He smacked his lips at your carelessness but jumped back in disgust when he saw something on the couch.

He couldn't tell what it was since it was under a hideous printed blanket but it moved in slow even movements. Joker was ready to hurl it across the room when it finally poked its head out from under the covers and locked eyes with him.

Joker froze as a pair of hazel eyes blinked owlishly at him.

"Now where did you come from?" Joker wondered. How did a kid get in your apartment?

The boy sat up and rubbed his eyes while taking in his surroundings, completely ignoring Joker.

Now that was new.

Most children screamed or cried the moment they saw Joker. Granted he wasn't wearing his clown makeup today, his scars were just as hideous sans makeup than with. Children were so weird.

He tried making scary faces but the boy either didn't care, or was too sleepy to react. Joker hummed in defeat, thus gaining the toddler's attention.

And so the staring match began anew. Jade versus hazel. The former losing instantly.

"WhaT? Do ya want somethin'?" Joker mumbled. He dug around his pockets and found a swiss army knife.

J offered it to the kid who looked at in confusion. "Take it! Geez do I gotta... Here. Lemme show you. If ya.. open it like this, see?" The blade clicked out and Gio's eyes widened at the shiny new toy in front of him.

Now we were getting somewhere!

Joker smiled at the boy's reaction and handed him the knife. Gio took it in his hands, cooing lightly.

"Yeah, very uhh, shiny. I li-ke this one for quick torture. It makes sharP but deep cuts on the skin to uhh.."

"WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR HAND?!"

Both boys turned to stare at you when you shouted. You looked on in horror as Joker sat before Gio with the youngest of the two wielding a knife.

Your soul floated to the ceiling.

"NO! Knives are bad Gio!" You rushed over and yanked the weapon away. And just like any kid who's toy was taken, Gio started to cry.

"I'm sorry, but that's very dangerous! You could've hurt yourself! Come here, we'll get your toys to play with, mkay?" You picked up the crying toddler who nodded in between wet hiccups.

Joker was speechless. All of your attention was on this random child and not him! You didn't even notice that you grabbed the knife by its blade. J was worried that you cut yourself but he couldn't check on you.

You didn't spare Joker a mere glance.

He wondered how you came in possession of someone's kid. Whoever came to your door must've dropped them off but Joker couldn't wrap his head around as to why you would accept to babysit with him here.

Having him around a child was a terrible idea. You should've known that.

Case in point was the reason why you were consoling a crying toddler. Joker sat on the floor (miffed and jealous) and watched you calm Gio down like a pro.

You look so at ease holding a child, looking all soft and motherly. He couldn't look away no matter how hard he tried. Watching you interact with a kid was making Joker feel all fuzzy inside. He didn't know what the feeling was but he rather enjoyed the sight in front of him until you walked away towards the dining table.

Again, ignoring him. He hated when you did that.

"Gio, look what mum left for you to play with!"

You pulled out a smaller bag from Gio's large duffel containing his toys and returned to the living room. You stepped over Joker's legs to sit down in a more clearer area. He had half a mind to trip you up.

Then you set Gio down on the floor and dumped his toys out all around him.

He giggled and grabbed a fire truck that lit up when he pushed a button. You in turn pushed an ambulance, intimating the siren, and crashed it into his sock clad feet.

Your theatrics earned you another giggle; pure and sweet.

A child's laughter could cure any soul. Even Joker found himself smiling. He leaned back on the couch and watched you play with the boy as if it were your average Thursday routine.

You drove the ambulance around before looking up and catching Joker's lidded gaze. A part of you forgot he was here. You flushed red and looked away. As if you could forget an imposing presence like Joker's.

And why was he looking at you likethat?

"Ahem, um there's a truck right there if you w-wanna join us." You offered.

Quite honestly, you doubted Joker would even entertain the thought of playing with children's toys but there were many a things you reluctantly got Joker to do.

All he needed was just a little push in the right direction.

Gio took the initiative to include J. The little tyke picked up his 18 wheeler truck and pushed it towards Joker. It came to a stop against J's leg. Gio made a crashing noise and fell over in giggles.

Joker rolled his eyes. Seriously? What was he supposed to do after that? He had experience driving a big rig but not a toy one. This was so demoralizing. Joker snuck a glance at you right as you hid a laugh behind your hand.

He only did this for you.

He did not like this snotty nose kid. Joker turned the truck around and crawled over to join the two of you. "I uhhhh like big trucks. They're great for ahh, ramming into police cars." He did just that to poor Gio's police force.

You glared at Joker who went overboard, driving over the flipped over police and civilian cars scattered along the makeshift road, and Gio enjoyed every minute of it.

Boys will be boys no matter the age.

You wished you had your phone with you; this was a kodak moment!

Joker was playing with a kid! And the clown was enjoying himself if his sinister grin was any clue. Him and Gio got along swimmingly so you sat back and watched your boys play together with a fond smile. It had you thinking what if and other dangerous possibilities.

After a while Gio grew tired of playing with his fleet of vehicles and got your attention by tugging your pant leg.

Joker was still laying on the floor acting as the blockade to even notice that 'traffic' wasn't coming anymore.

"I'm hungry." Gio's cute voice sighed. It was midday and you were still a little peckish from not eating earlier.

"Mmm. Well let's see what we can find to eat them little bug. To the kitchen!!!" You snatched Gio up in a fit of giggles and looked over your shoulder at Joker.

He'd finally noticed Gio was gone. "C'mon J, it's time for lunch."

He groaned but stood up and narrowly avoided stepping on that annoying batmobile... Would Gio notice if it suddenly disappeared?

Joker walked into the kitchen to witness you pull out various food groups from the fridge while Gio familiarized himself with the new room. He was walking circles around the island counter and trying to open the drawers way above his head.

"No, be careful Gio. Oh, J! Can you wash his hands for me while I whip up a lunch for us?"

You didn't hear his response and lifted your head.

Joker was looking at you like you grew a second head. "Do I look like a uhh baby–sit-er? I'll cook you handle.. that." He gestured to Gio on the floor.

The curious toddler found one of your stock pots and two wooden spoons. How, you'll never know, but the boy could very well be a drummer when he grows up.

"Okay deal. The leftover sandwiches should be fine but cut them into kid friendly sizes. Oh and cut the grapes and strawberries in half too." You called out before you sat down on the floor with Gio.

Every drummer needed a good backup.

You easily picked up the tune he was jamming to and clapped along to, you guessed it, the Bluey intro.

You snickered when you heard Joker cursing at the grapes to 'hold still' andpaid no mind when a few rolled off the counter and onto the floor.

Gio spotted one and tried to eat it but you snatched it away in enough time. "Ah! Do we eat off the floor?" The boy thought about it and shook his head.

"That's right! We have to wash the bad germs off!" You said.

"Germs taste yucky."

You giggled at Gio adorably explaining things to you although you overheard the huff from up above. You'd been with Joker long enough to know his various noises. He was jealous.

Joker hated sharing your attention with others but you thought it wouldn't apply to a literal child. Gio was not competition or a threat of any kind, but Joker still chose to be moody. You could only imagine his violent thoughts right now all over a kid.

You rolled your eyes and crawled over to wrap your arms around Joker's leg.

He stiffened immediately. "Bunny."

"Getting jealous over a three year old? Pfft, that's a new low. Mind sharing what that's about?"

He swatted at your head and grunted when you didn't move. You just clung to him like a koala bear even tighter. Joker sighed through his nose. You loved testing his limits..

"I'm noT jealous... I—"

Whatever Joker was about to say would forever be lost in time for in that moment, Gio copied your mannerisms and latched onto Joker's other leg.

You burst out laughing and pleaded with J not to shake Gio too much even if the boy was squealing in delight.

Apparently you were babysitting two children today. This was gonna be a long day.

In the end you had to coax Gio off of Joker's leg with the promise of cartoons. He quickly detached himself from the dark clown and happily sat in front of your tv, patiently waiting.

You set the tv to Bluey and knew the show would preoccupy Gio's attention for hours if need be.

Joker successfully cut the fruit in half even if the sandwich pieces were a little too big for your liking. It just meant you had to keep an eye on the little kiddo as he ate. You presented lunch to Gio who ate quietly while watching Bluey.

You were shocked that Joker knew to remove the crust for Gio. You asked J about it but he just grunted and ate the discarded crust along with his own portion of lunch.

You win some, you lose some. It was a start. To what, you had no idea.

Those dangerous thoughts from earlier were getting to you. This situation was just for one day. Ana would come pick up her son in the morning and you wouldn't have to deal with a child until..

'Y/n, do not go down that rabbit hole.' You mentally told yourself.

You distracted yourself by cleaning up lunch and thinking of an afternoon activity for Gio.

Too much screen time wasn't good for children his age. Maybe you could create a fun activity with things you already had on hand in your apartment. Didn't you have some old crafts in storage?

You were still washing dishes but peeked around the corner to check on Gio when you heard him laugh. Bingo was on screen doing something adorable but all was calm in your apartment so you resumed your chores.

Joker however was slowly losing the last of his sanity.

This is what parents let their children watch these days? Where was the action? The real world scenarios, the bitter reality?! What was Gio really learning here besides how to count and be annoying?

These characters weren't teaching Gio anything!

And last time Joker checked, dogs couldn't talk so how were they doing well over half of the things on this show? It was driving him nuts and he couldn't stand a second more.

Joker glanced over at you washing dishes in the kitchen. You still had that weird dopey smile on your face. You'd been lost in thought all day and could use a break from all of this babysitting.

He dragged his gaze over to the kid sitting on the couch.

The little one was dressed in a long sleeve graphic tee and drawstring pants. It was eerily similar to Joker's current outfit although he wore a pullover instead of a shirt.

If Joker stayed indoors any longer being force-fed this Bluey garbage, he would slit his own throat.

The end of the episode played and Gio turned towards Joker as if he felt the man's gaze on him.

Those innocent eyes really aggravated him! Why wasn't this boy afraid of him? He needed to fix that and Joker knew just the way to go about it.

Joker didn't hesitate snatching Gio up into his arms and grabbing the boy's miniature shoes on the way out of your apartment.

You finished washing the dishes and towel dried your hands with a content sigh. The kitchen was spotless again.

J was in the same room as Gio so you had a few more precious minutes to yourself before the former grew annoyed. Gio was younger than Joker but had far more patience; it was both funny and pathetic. You wisely chose to use the bathroom before reuniting with the boys.

Bingo was singing another one of her counting songs as you rounded the corner into the living room.

"..and if one green bottle should accidentally fall.. they'll be..... Seven green bottles on the wall! Seven green.."

She kept singing but you drowned her out when you noticed Gio and Joker weren't on the couch.

Bingo was just background noise in the state of your panic. Where were your boys?

You checked the main bathroom, Joker's bedroom and all of the other rooms in the penthouse in your blind hysteria. They were gone. You spoke aloud and began to pace after the third search came up empty.

"Don't panic, Y/n. You didn't lose Ana's child. This is just Joker messing with you. When I get my hands on that annoying green haired clown..... and he better answer the phone. C'mon, J. Answer the phone."

You dialed J's cell and gnawed on your thumbnail as it rang and rang. Right when you thought it would go to voicemail, he answered.

"WhaT can I...uh help.. ya with, doll?" Oh this man had some nerve.

You took a deep breath and slowly let it out. You did not have time for Joker's games. Your nerves were already shot. "Please tell me you have Gio."

You heard heavy traffic in the background and began to worry. Just where was he?

"So that's his name.."

You had the urge to drag Joker through the phone. How did he go half a day in Gio's presence and not know the boy's name?

"J?! Do you have Gio or not?!" God, why did you have a literal psychopath for a lover?

Times like this you questioned your taste in men. Joker abducted poor Gio and probably thought it was normal behavior. You raked a hand through your curls as you walked to the foyer closet to grab some shoes.

Wherever they were, it couldn't be far. It had been less than twenty minutes since you finished washing dishes. Hopefully Joker didn't board the subway or get a hold of wheels to broaden the distance between you and him.

You barely heard Gio in the background before Joker mumbled a short inaudible response to the little tyke.

He sighed before focusing back on you. "Ya know... too much screen time is uhhh bad for the little demon. You should err join us.. at the uhhh parK."

"Come play Y/n!"

Your hand froze on the front door handle when Gio's energetic voice echoed through the phone.

"Gio?! Are you okay? I'm on my way, little bug! Joker, if you hurt him I swear—"

"Do ya really think that lowly of me, Bunny? I'm hurt. We're across the street at the– careful! She just said..."

You heard Joker curse and Gio's infectious laughter. You couldn't wait for the elevator to make it to your floor. You took the stairs two at a time to race over to the park.

You didn't care what you looked like to your neighbours in the main lobby.

You bolted out of the elevator and sprinted across the street, (miraculously avoiding being hit by a taxi along the way) towards the kid friendly playground area in Grant Park.

It was a beautiful day out and there was a gentle breeze in the air that swayed the plethora of trees circling the park.

Other park goers were milling about but a small cluster of women stood off to the side, giggling amongst themselves.

"They're matching! Omg that is just too cute!"

"Lawd harmacy.. he's a certified DILF. You think he single?"

You came to a stop near them huffing and puffing and immediately stole their attention. One nanny eyed you up and down before speaking.

"Did you lose your charge? Been there, done that girl. Rookies these days.."

A blonde in a stylish tracksuit shook her head your way. She noticed you were looking every which way except straight ahead.

"I dunno Beth, looks like a true mum's panic mode to me. Where did you last see—"

"Y/n! Y/n! Look at me!"

You and the huddle of nannies turned to follow the loud cry that rang out over the rest.

Gio was at the top of the playground tower, waving his little arms at you.

Once you looked his way, he climbed into the slide and disappeared down the chute. He emerged a few seconds later at the end, all smiles with a head full of static hair.

"I did it!" Gio cheered.

He did a little dance and much to your surprise, he ran straight to Joker who didn't waste a second picking the boy up—tossing him high in the air—and giving him a lift right back to the top.

It was a sucker punch to your ovaries.

Joker interacted with a toddler just like any doting father would.

You couldn't see his face since he had it covered with a mask but his hair was pushed back and almost devoid of its signature green hair dye. He had yet to dye it since staying with you so the sunkissed strands were on full display.

Paired with Joker's casual pullover and drawstring pants, (the ones you told him not to leave the house in..) he looked normal. Scratch that.

Joker looked like a daddy.

Once his job was done, he leaned on the playground set and crossed his arms. His green eyes never wavered from Gio who was playing on the equipment.

Every female and envious male in the vicinity had their eyes on the mysterious father figure watching over his son.

Joker gained attention but still blended in perfectly with the citizens of Gotham. A true master of disguise.

You were speechless until Joker's eye naturally found yours. He curled his index finger in a come here motion and you would be a fool not to.

You ran over and tackled J in a hug. "You idiot! You can't just... take Gio and not tell me! I tore the apartment apart looking for him!"

Joker snorted and kept an eye on Gio who was playing pretend in the tower with another boy.

Things were fine for now so Joker focused all of his attention on you in his arms.

He smacked his lips and smoothed your hair down before tilting your chin up. "What about me hmm? Did ya care that I was missing too?" He chuckled when you rolled your eyes and shoved him away.

Joker let you turn around and sulk.

He just wrapped his arms around you from behind. The two of you stood in a lover's embrace and watched Gio have fun.

"Bunny.. Did you really think I would hurt the kid?" Joker kissed the top of your head. He wished he wasn't in public and not wearing this stupid mask. "I thought you could use a errr.. break sooo we went ouT."

You leaned back on Joker, "It's not that, J. You left. No heads up, no nothing. I had every right to panic the way I did. Ana trusted me to watch over her kid and I'm letting him hang around with Gotham City's most dangerous criminal. What kind of babysitter does that make me?"

It was quiet between the two of you except for the sound of laughter and nature in the park.

"Uhhh do ya want me to answer truth-full-yyy or..."

You twisted around to give Joker the stink eye. He wisely kept his mouth shut.

Elsewhere, the cluster of nannies were seething with jealousy. They were not expecting Joker to be spoken for.

"They look happy don't they Beth?" The nice one mentioned.

The ringleader turnt her nose up. "Whatever. He wasn't that hot.." They moved on to something else and left the adorable couple to their devices.

The day was getting late and it was time to either return home or drop off their charges back to their parents.

Gio was tuckered out from playing and walked over to you and Joker while rubbing his drooping hazel eyes.

"Is someone getting sleepy?" You broke away from Joker to bend down and pick up Gio. The boy yawned and rested his head on your chest, nodding.

You cooed at the sight.

Joker was once again struck by that weird feeling. Seeing you there, your beauty backlit by the dying sun with Gio tucked in your arms and smiling softly... you looked every bit a mother.

Who would be the lucky man to live this storyline with you? A beautiful wife and kid to come home to everyday?

Joker couldn't afford to think like that. It was dangerous and.. stupid.

But he wanted to be stupid and greedy and live out this fake scenario for as long as possible. You looked up when Joker rubbed your back. His hypnotic green eyes were shining like emeralds down at you and Gio.

"Let's head back."

To any bystander who happened to be looking, the three of you made for the perfect family. Your loving kindness and Joker's protective shield surrounding his lover and sweet little boy created an aura of happiness.

It was awe inspiring. Unfortunately if they knew the circumstances, they would understand how this family was never meant to be.

You didn't care if it was impossible, you wanted to believe it was for the rest of the day. You let your mind wander and simply live in the moment.

For now, this was real.

The sound of the doorbell woke you out of your sleep.

You stretched as Joker slept on beside you completely unawares. Gio somehow found Joker's stomach a better pillow than the rest and slept sprawled out over the Prince of Crime all night.

J didn't mind since he was flat on his back, actually sleeping for once.

After the impromptu park visit and a quick, but healthy dinner, bath time proved to be the only true nemesis to Joker.

You joked that he was getting old and he splashed water on you in retaliation. Gio thought the situation was funny and joined in on the fun and before you knew it, all three of you were soaking wet and absolutely sleepy.

Everyone changed into their pjs and crawled into bed and apparently you and Joker slept through the multiple calls Ana placed to your phone and the first knocks on the door.

The anxious mother resorted to ringing the doorbell when the sharp knocks failed to wake you.

You really didn't care about looking presentable, you just grabbed a sleeping Gio, (shushing J back to sleep while doing so) and shuffled to the front.

Thank goodness you were smart and packed Gio's overnight bag yesterday. You were half asleep just answering the door.

"Oh. Someone had a rough night." Ana said as she walked in. The businesswomen assumed her boy would be up bright and early, happy to see her but he was out cold in your arms.

She quirked an eyebrow at the unusual behavior.

"He slept the entire night? No fuss?"

You waved away her concern. "Yeah, all night. We went to the park, ate dinner. Took a very wet bath and went out like a light." You blinked at the time on the room's clock. "And just woke up."

Ana was shocked. Gio usually had trouble sleeping in new environments and even more when his mum wasn't around. She opened her arms to take him while you went to grab his bag. You were amazing after all.

"I cannot thank you enough Y/n. You don't know how much this means to me and James."

You yawned. "Who?"

Ana sweat dropped and decided to finish this conversation when you were actually awake to participate. She'd stop by later with a thank you meal and your payment.

She thanked you again and left and you quickly locked back up before shuffling back to bed.

Joker was awake and moved over for you to climb back in.

"He's gone?" J asked. You nodded and curled up into Joker's arms, ready to fall back asleep. Joker wanted to talk to you about something but he underestimated just how quickly you could slip under.

Your eyes were already closed and you were already adopting a rhythmic breathing pattern.

He rolled his eyes and pulled the covers up to your shoulders. He hoped you were sound asleep but the words tumbled from his lips regardless.

"You'll make a uhhh great mother someday, my Light."