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dweetwise · 5 years ago

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ok lowkey. that spirit thing was mweh😘 how strange yet oddly interesting. if you dont mind doing something similar... could you ... maybe write something where Zarina befriends the Nurse? like the nurse is getting bullied by all the other survivors and Zarina is just like 'bruh why?'. this happened once in a match and i cant get it outta my head😤🤡 love LOVE your work. keep it up

[thanks anon ily 😳😳😳 hope this is ok! there’s a special place in my heart for baby nurses, they are so pure <3]

zarina never had to deal with op old nurse bless her

Zarina befriends the Nurse: ficlet

Hearing yet another wail from the Nurse echoing across the map, Zarina looks up from her generator into the misty grounds of the asylum. The match had surely been going on for nearly ten minutes already, and the teleporting killer had yet to down any of the survivors.

Finishing up the repairs on her generator, Zarina starts navigating towards the sound of the screeches. On her way, she doesn’t spot a single one of her teammates on any of the generators, and frowns in irritation that the killer had apparently decided to farm with the others without anyone deeming it necessary to inform her.

“Forgot about the new chick again, huh?” she mutters to herself, already having had some trouble fitting in with the rowdy group of survivors and their already established dynamic.

Zarina finally reaches what seems to be the center for the commotion, arriving at the shack where Feng, Nea and David are running around in circles with the killer teleporting through the structure, landing a hit on David who the girls then immediately begin patching up right in front of the killer’s face. Zarina huffs out an annoyed breath that her assumptions were correct, turning away from the spectacle and fully intending to go elsewhere and refuse to participate in the others’ dumb little game, when...

“Oi, over ‘ere ya cunt!” David taunts, causing Zarina to clench her fists and whip around, ready to give the asshole Brit a piece of her mind for insulting her--

Only to see the still injured David pointing his flashlight in the Nurse’s face, prolonging the killer’s already painful looking fatigue state. Zarina swallows her misdirected anger and takes a more thorough look at the events unfolding at the shack.

She sees Feng Min get right up in the killer’s face, doing her stupid butt dance, while Nea chain blinds the killer with her own flashlight, rendering her useless for a few more seconds. The killer takes a wild swing in Nea’s direction, but the street artist sidesteps.

“Ooh, big swing!” Nea mocks, clicky-clicking her flashlight and moonwalking around the Nurse while the killer recovers from her miss.

“Baby killer, baby killer!” Feng’s high-pitched laugh echoes through the area as the gamer feigns vaulting the shack window, causing the Nurse’s bonesaw to uselessly hit the wood with a dull ‘thunk’.

“Couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with that aim--” David taunts from the shack entrance, making the Nurse quickly blink to him. David dashes through the pallet, avoiding the hit and proceeds to throw down the piece of wood on the killer, flashlight at the ready and already pointing at the Nurse. “Baited ya, bitch!”

“She’s so boosted!” Nea laughs, moving into position to reset the pallet in the blinded killer’s face while Feng injects a healing syringe into David’s shoulder. When the Nurse finally recovers from the combination of the fatigue, stun and blinds, only to have the now upright pallet be slammed right back in her face, Zarina decides enough is enough.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Zarina demands, approaching the scene. “Hey Zarina! Look at this baby killer!” Feng says, obnoxiously spam-pointing at the stunned Nurse. “Shouldn’t you be doing gens?” “Don’t get yer knickers in a twist, we’re just horsin’ around,” David grunts, rolling his shoulder from the sting of the syringe needle. “But why, though?” Zarina asks, shooting a glare in Nea’s direction where the Swede is once again blinding the killer with her flashlight. “Haven’t you done enough?” “No offense newbie, but maybe you should go find a gen and leave this to us, yeah?” Nea says, a cocky smirk on her lips.

That moment, the Nurse manages to get control over her movements and executes a precise teleport to an injured David, only to have the syringe take effect a split second before the hit and fully heal his wounds, merely causing him to get injured again. Zarina thinks she hears the Nurse groaning in defeat, and she doesn’t blame her. With Nea sprinting right back up to the killer, flashlight in hand, and Feng running after David ready to tank a hit, the Nurse readies another blink and, to everyone’s surprise, teleports away in the direction of the main building.

“LMAO she gave up!” Feng laughs, the sound grating on Zarina’s nerves, as she begins patching up David. “Let’s go after her!” Nea suggests. “NO!” Zarina yells, absolutely done with her fellow survivors’ bullshit against the clearly struggling killer. “You’ve already won! Don’t you have any empathy?” she scolds the trio. “Oh I’m sorry princess, is the taaxic flashlight against your wittle journalist’s ethics?” Nea mocks, fake pouting. “We’ve put of with ‘er shite for years, least she can do is take a couple pallets in tha face,” David grumbles. “Yeah you try versing a five blink Nurse with a mori and tell us how fair and balanced that is,” Feng says, hands on her hips. “Whatever, that’s your problem,” Zarina says, not about to entertain the trio about whatever grudges they seem to be holding. “Just do the fucking gens and leave.”

With that, Zarina makes her way to the main building, thankful that the others seem to stay behind, at least for now. She feels compelled to apologize to the killer on her so-called friends’ behalf, once again trusting her strong moral compass to guide her to the right decisions. Before long she finds the Nurse in one of the rooms on the second floor of the asylum, sitting on a windowsill with an old photo frame in her hands.

“Umm... miss killer? Excuse me?” Zarina makes her presence known, peering in through the door frame. “You didn’t have to intervene, girl,” the Nurse says with unexpected softness and clarity in her voice. She looks almost serene, ominous heartbeat gone, sitting primly in front of the window and torn dress flowing gently with a breeze from the derelict wall.

“I know, it’s... I couldn’t just watch. I’m sorry about them, they’re--” “It’s fine. Truly. I understand,” she says, looking down at the photo again. “I haven’t exactly shown them mercy in the past, I would not expect them to act different.” “Are you... okay?” Zarina asks, cautiously approaching. The Nurse sighs. “This place, it... brings back memories I’d rather forget. I feel my focus slipping and my head is just not in it today.” “The others said you used to be more powerful--or p-perhaps just more ruthless, before...?” “I suppose that’s true,” the Nurse chuckles. “There was a time where I lost myself completely, the entity filling my mind with hatred. Now... I’m weaker, more often a disappointment to it, but... perhaps it’s for the best.” “Umm... not to point out the obvious, but--don’t you think it might help to take the bag off of your head so you could see better?” “You’d offer advice to me, an enemy? A rather peculiar survivor, you are,” the Nurse says, fondness in her voice. “As for the matter, I am able to see just fine, courtesy of the entity. Hiding my face is a choice, one of the few I still have. I--” her voice cracks. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up a touchy subject.” “What a curious one you are. Never give up that fire,” she says. “As for covering my head... he always loved seeing me smile,” she says, fondly stroking a finger over the picture, before handing the frame to Zarina, taking her completely off guard as she fumbles to grab the item.

In the frame is a picture of a happy couple on their wedding day, both smiling brightly and embracing each other. The man looks like a proper old-time gentleman, complete with a top hat and silly mustache. The woman is gorgeous, her pale skin and white gown a stark contrast to her fiery red hair and deep emerald green eyes.

“Is this you?” Zarina asks, slightly taken aback, reminded of the fact that the killers probably used to be normal people, just like her. “It was the happiest day of my life,” the Nurse says wistfully. “That was his favorite photo. He said it brought out my eyes, he--he loved my eyes, said they were a reflection of my soul, of our happiness. Which is why I can’t let anyone see my face.” “Because now you’re... unhappy?” Zarina asks, trying to understand. “Because I don’t want anyone to look into my eyes and see the madness that consumed me,” the Nurse whispers.

Zarina is at a loss for words, intrigued about the remorseful killer’s past but not wanting to pry further. She stares at the photo and tries to imagine how the cute, carefree woman in the picture could have ever turned into a bloodthirsty killer.

The sound of the exit gates being powered snaps her out of her thoughts, finally handing the frame back to its owner.

“Thanks for telling me all this,” Zarina says. “Can’t have been easy, what you’ve went through.” “I should be thanking you, for indulging a silly woman her tales,” the Nurse says. “Feel free to stop by, should you happen to wander into this realm from the campfire. I don’t often linger here, but... maybe it would not be so bad, had I company.” “You know, I might just take you up on that offer,” Zarina says, offering a small smile. The sound of a gate opening and the end game triggering reminds her that she’s on a time limit. “Shi--shoot, I’ve gotta run. See you around, uh... ms. Nurse?” “Please, call me Sally,” the killer says, primly bowing her head. “Zarina, was it? Do be careful out there. Your kindness might just be the end of you.” “Doesn’t sound so bad, as far as causes of death go,” Zarina quips, offering a cheeky grin before sprinting off the find the gate.

[sally is precious fight me. and lmao i didn’t even try to be subtle about who toxic nea is inspired by]

#zarina kassir #sally smithson #dbd nurse #dbd #dbd fanfic #request #dweetwrites

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years ago

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STARTUPS AND PROCESS

If there's one number every founder should always know, it's the company's growth rate. So our official policy now is only to fund undergrads we can't talk out of it. These can be much more effective, not only in avoiding false positives, but in filtering too: for example, is. I first came to Silicon Valley; instead they'd be opening local offices. Programmers will recognize what we're doing here. It would be nice to everyone. Getting to general plus useful by starting with useful and cranking up the generality may be unsuitable for junior professors trying to get people to remember just one quote about programming, it would probably be painless though annoying to lose $15,000. Now that we know what we're looking for, that leads to other questions. The phase whose growth defines the startup is the opinion of other investors. But while there are a lot of what looks like work. So why were we afraid?

And because startups are in this sense doubly valuable to acquirers, acquirers will often pay more than an ordinary investor would. Since that seems to work. 06%? When Richard Feynman said that the imagination of nature was greater than the imagination of man, he meant that if you just keep following the truth wherever it leads rather than being influenced by what he wishes were the case. Even more important than anything else that I worry I'm misleading you by even talking about other things. Nothing yields meaty problems like starting with the assumption that it was a very gradual process. I'm all for shutting down the crooked ways to get rich. Sometimes you get excited about such a thoroughly boneheaded idea, we should train more Americans to be programmers. Bill Gates—the probability might be 20% or even 50%. I'm relieved to find they're not as bad as I feared. We usually advise startups to pick a growth rate they think they can hit, and then write a paper about it, and try to trace it back to the root causes.

That's what makes theoretical knowledge prestigious. I'd bet on the 25 year old over the 32 year old probably is a better programmer, but probably also has a much more common one. We should have expected this. The charisma theory may also explain why Democrats tend to lose presidential elections. The office at 165 University Ave was Google's first. In most fields the great work is done by the people who work there want to stay there. Proving your initial plan was mistaken would just get you a lower Gini coefficient, along with a lesson in being careful what you ask for.1 0 here. Another effect of a larger share that what's left over for the rest is diminished. In this scenario, spam would, like OS crashes, viruses, and popups, become one of those that exploit an insecure cgi script to send mail to third parties.

The business person represents the voice of the customer and that's what keeps the engineers and product development on track. Subject Free Subject free FREE! Nearly all makers have day jobs, and work on beautiful software on the side of safety. It takes a conscious effort to find ideas everyone else has overlooked. Why did so few applicants really think about what customers want is figuring out that you need to make something lots of people want, read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Boy, was I wrong. I know that from experience. Letters, digits, dashes, apostrophes, and dollar signs are constituent characters, and everything else is a token separator. One reason is that good design aims at some kind of lowest common denominator.

What makes a good startup founder. Undoubtedly TV helped Kennedy, so historians are correct in regarding this election as a watershed.2 Look at where your code is slow, and fix that. And anyone who has written a program only to find on returning to it six months later that he has no idea how it works. One of the reasons Jane Austen's novels are so good is that she read them out loud to see a where you stumble over awkward phrases and b which bits are confusing or drag; don't always make the best subjects for papers. It was presumably many thousands of years, I'll bet on the curve. I've described above. Empathy is probably the founders themselves. Aristotle's explanation of the ultimate goal of philosophy in Book A of the Metaphysics implies that philosophy should be useful too. The startup may not have needed VC money the way they were 10 years ago. There is a founder community just as there's a VC community.

There probably aren't more than a couple hundred lines of Perl; in fact, it would not be a bad definition of math to call it the study of terms that have precise meanings. Two or three course projects? Around 2000 the bolt was removed.3 To some degree, it offers a way around these limitations. I say that the answer is, surprisingly far. Anyone who invested in private companies in return for dividends would have to pay close attention to their books. In addition to the usual clauses about owning your ideas, you also can't be a founder of a startup that was neither driven by technological change, nor whose product consisted of technology except in the broader sense.

75%. Fundamentally that's how the most successful investors are also the most upstanding. The more I think about why I voted for Clinton over the first George Bush, it wasn't because I was writing about spam filtering. What you really want is a pool of local angel investors—people investing money they made from their own servers, and both the headers and the bodies became much spammier. But gradually I realized it wasn't luck. It increases the work of the Valley now. If they decide to grow at 7% a week and they hit that number, you don't have to think about that. They wouldn't seem bad to the city officials.

Notes

A single point of saying that good art fifteenth century European art. There is not really a lie because it's a bad idea, period. We could be ignored.

These points don't apply to types of startups that seem excusable according to some abstract notion of fairness or randomly, in the fall of 2008 the terms they were doing more than just reconstructing word boundaries; spammers both add xHot nPorn cSite and omit P rn letters.

It's possible that companies will naturally wonder, how do you know whether you're a big deal. Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives would work so hard on the group's accumulated knowledge. This phenomenon may account for a couple predecessors. You have to be doctors?

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Geoff Ralston, Sarah Harlin, Robert Morris, and Anton van Straaten for putting up with me.

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knightofameris · 5 years ago

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YEAAAAAHHHH WE SMARTASSES!! WOOOO WE GOT THROUGH MIDTERMS

p h y s i c s ?????? I am. So sorry. i am so sorry you have to deal with physics. that sounds horrible and i would never wish it upon anyone. AND NO YOURE SMART YOU GOT THIS!!! i am cheering you on while also planning on overthrowing anyone who tries jeopardizing your way to the top— anyways. brain = off. mind = everywhere but nowhere at once. and no u.

HHHHGNFNGHHGG I LOVE NARNIA SO MUCH. the entire story was so good and it always made me cry no matter how many times i read the books/watched the movies. not me having the hugest crush on both edmund and susan pevensie....., ANWYAYS YES!! i can totally see what you’re saying with their similar writing styles!! god i love when authors :) and MC is just. Amazing. there is no other way to describe her. i love her to pieces and if i could i would steal her for myself ngl i wouldn’t be opposed- i mean what?

the more i read the more i just want to stop at the A/N right before all the alt endings 😭😭😭 it’s so tempting, because i feel EXACTLY how you feel with going there for the boys but now i’m just so invested in MC finding herself and becoming happy. i want that someday. it’s making me realize how much i want to be a main character and it’s sad BDKSNDS

(also thank you for recommending me this,,, honestly it made me so happy when you made a specific post for me,,, i love it when people send me things bc it reminds them of me or they want me to get into it bc they think i’ll like it like it just warms my heart fbsksndksk) —🧸 <3

HI HI HI UPDATE I FINDIEHD ALL THE ALTERNATE ENDINGS WHILE LISTENING TO THE RESPECTIVE PLAYLISTS THAT THE AUTHOR MADE ON SPOTIFY AND IM REALLY GOING TO CRY?????? AND THEN I LISTENED TO SOME OF THE SONGS FROM THE REGULAR PLAYLIST AND IM JSUT SITITNG HERE ALSO I LOVE DIBA AND ARANYANI SO MUCH I MISS THEM WTF AMERIS HELP I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE THIS FANFIC HAS CHANGED ME WHAT THE FUCK —🧸

p.s. my favorite ending and arc in general was iwaizumi’s. i refuse to comment further

I COMBINED IT CUS I FEEL BAD FOR SPAMMING THE DASH AHAHAHHA.

and putting it under a read more because this bad boi is long

I still,,, have another midterm. but its okay this one I'm not too worried about LMAO.

KDSAJFLADSJF YEAH ME TOO IM SORRY I HAVE TO DEAL WITH PHYSICS TOO what kind of dumbass chooses physics as their major? (me, i’m the dumbass) BUT THANK YOU AHAHA. ill fight everyone for you too!!! brain off always, I accidentally posted the drabbles when I was supposed to post them all tomorrow AHAHAHAH.

NARNIA WAS REALLY GOOD (don't look at my old works tho, I wrote them when I was 15 and bad at writing please.) its very nostalgic and I really want to reread them tbh. they were just so good AHHHH

DUDE YEAH ID DATE MC AHAHAHAHAH. god. i was so tempted to not finish the fic either but here I am. i want to reread but I don't want to get hurt LOOOOL. fuck the boys we’re here for MC Suzuki. LOL

and of course!! I really thought you’d like it and I really really love this story sm. <3

ALSO OMG I NEVER LISTENED TO THE PLAYLISTS..... OOPS. LOL. diba is such a good character and aRANYANI is that how u spell her name idk. LOL I REALLY LOVED THE OCS. I liked her family even tho her mom wasn’t perfect and like, yeah! her mom doesn’t deserve a redemption arc but she’s trying to be better which I fuck with. even the mom knows she wasn’t perfect and that she should've done better. but alas.

you’ll need a few moments to let the fic settle in. good luck. LOL

I.... am biased and I say suga AHAHAHHAA with oikawa as a close second and kuroo next! also loved iwaizumi too!!!

ALSO ALSO. I'm in the discord server with the Fly High writer that she has, and I showed her some of your comments (I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND AHKDJG) but she said thank you and that it means the world! it took her a moment to reply because she was dancing around the room, her words not mine! LOL

#a.responds #from.🧸#a.anonfamily!!#from.nonnie #long post

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thewritewolf · 6 years ago

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Eating Habits Chapter 6: Date Night

I think ‘date night’ might very well be my most used chapter title of them all, but chapter titles have never been my strong suit... Anyway, have an aged-up Adrienette date. Plus some other things.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3.

Adrien had gotten home late after another long but enlightening shift at the bakery. Well… relatively late. The hours that a baker worked meant that his bosses were in bed long before most people, but that didn’t matter much when they took advantage of his youth and strength to do the heavy lifting for them. He hadn’t even considered checking his mailbox last night with the bone deep exhaustion he’d felt. The first rays of dawn were only just barely able to wake him.

He threw his legs over the side of his bed and took the time to watch the sunrise through his bedroom window. Another beautiful day in Paris. Even if it was a little chilly in the early October air, the cold had never bothered him as much as they had his lady. A ghost of a smile flitted across his face as he remembered her and slipped his feet into the silly kitty slippers she’d made for him ages ago.

His muscles ached as he stretched, but between his excursions to the gym, the years of superheroing, and the schedule from his youth that had run him ragged, the pain was more than bearable. A warm shower to help relax helped take the edge off the soreness. Now all he needed was some breakfast, and something to distract himself. With those goals in mind, he got dressed and headed into the kitchen, sparing a glance at Plagg. He was still laying on his back, bathed in a sunbeam as one of his legs twitched. Adrien smiled as gently closed the door behind him.

Despite all the classes and his time at the bakery, breakfast was still Adrien’s strong suit. He started to cook up a cheese omelette stuffed with fresh vegetables, paired with some leftover bread he’d taken home from the Dupain-Chengs yesterday. Barely a few minutes had passed before the silence became maddening. Another lingering pain from his childhood, but one that he could easily remedy. A playlist Nino had made for him filled the air and Adrien’s mind cleared.

Halfway through breakfast, he remembered he’d never checked the mail yesterday. Not wanting his food to get cold, he dashed down to the mailroom of the complex and quickly opened his slot. As expected, there was a bundle of letters that he snatched before closing it and running back into his apartment.

He slowly shuffled through them while he ate. Most were worthless spam or worse. One from a modeling agency he’d worked for a month or two ago. Probably either thanking him for the work or pre-emptively asking for him to come back on for the winter lines. Considering his finances were doing alright, he’d likely pass on that and carefully set the letter aside. Reaching the bottom of the pile, he froze.

A familiar type of envelope in the same familiar handwriting of his father.

Everything in him told him it was a bad idea to read it. He never came out of it any better than when he went in. His heart was pounding in his chest and he began sweating. His breathing was ragged as his eyes flew over the page.

They were all the same. Every single one of them. Different words, same meaning.

‘I did what I had to.’

‘This was for YOU.’

‘Our family needed this.’

‘Put yourself in my shoes.’

‘Would you have done any different?’

The words flew past in a blur as his eyes glazed over. Before he could properly read it, a sharp voice drew him out of the downward spiral.

“I’m hungry!” Plagg whined as he flew in front of Adrien’s vision. “I’m wasting away here, kid. I need delicious, gooey camembert NOW.”

A smile tugged at his lips but didn’t reach his eyes as Adrien jolted to his feet to find his kwami’s breakfast.

----

While Adrien was distracted, Plagg narrowed his eyes and faced the letter. He was sorely tempted to just cataclysm it right here and now, to make sure his chosen would never be hurt by it again. But control of their powers had never been the forte of any of the kwami, least of all the kwami of destruction. Deciding that it was only barely not worth ruining the apartment, Plagg batted the letter into the trash. If only he’d had the opportunity to do the same to Gabriel himself.

Adrien returned with a quarter wheel of cheese, which Plagg took to eating with gusto. Adrien frowned as he looked on the counter.

“Hey, Plagg?” The kwami slowly looked up from his breakfast. “Do you know where that letter I was reading went?”

“Somewhere it belonged, I’m sure,” Plagg replied irritatedly. Adrien was about to speak again, so Plagg interrupted him. “So, date night, right? That’ll be something to look forward to.”

Just as expected, a dopey grin crossed Adrien’s face. Plagg could play the boy like a lute. “Yeah, it’ll be great to go out again. We don’t get to go on dates as much as I’d like.”

“That’s ‘cuz you’d want to go on dates every night,” Plagg pointed out.

“True,” Adrien conceded. “But I don’t hear you complaining.” He rested his head on his hands, almost flush with the table, putting him at eye height to Plagg. “Maybe because you have a love bug too that you get to cuddle with, hm?”

Plagg made a gagging sound. “Sugar cube and I don’t cuddle. We are ancient beings from the dawn of time.”

“Really? Curled up into each other like that, you could’ve fooled me. And what, exactly, is it that kwamis call it?”

“...Shut up.”

“And you have pet names for each other! Just like me and Mari. Sounds a lot like you two are dating, you know.”

Plagg slowly turned to Adrien and narrowed his eyes. “Shut. Up.”

“Aw, I’m sorry Plagg. Truce?” Adrien scritched between his ears in just the right way.

Unable to fight his instincts, Plagg purred in spite of himself. Refusing to continue the conversation, he doubled down on eating his cheese. Adrien chuckled and returned to his breakfast.

Despite his denials, Plagg was looking forward to the date night, but for more than just seeing his Tikki. Plagg snuck glances at his charge, but Adrien seemed to be back to his usual peppy self again. He breathed a sigh of relief. Another crisis averted, barely.

------------

With how much she’d been pushing herself, it was bound to happen eventually. Late night studying. Early morning classes. Every hour crammed full of work. Between the darkness of the theater, the calm and pleasant movie, and the comfortable shoulder of her boyfriend, Marinette was destined to fail. None of that made it any less mortifying.

Marinette was gently shaken awake by Adrien as the credits rolled. It took a moment for his face to come into focus, but when it did the amusement was plain.

“Rough night, huh?”

She snorted. “More like rough semester.” She wrapped herself around his arm as they walked out, leaning on him as her eyelids grew heavy. Despite her best attempts, she yawned.

She felt him kiss the crown of her head. “My poor, sleepy bug. How about we bail on the restaurant part of our date and just head over to my place?”

Even in her exhausted state she managed a grin. “Why Adrien, you tom cat. And without even buying me dinner first.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “You’ll get your food. I just don’t want you face planting in your plate in public.”

“Oh, so it’s alright when I dive face first into my food, just so long as it's at your apartment?”

“Yes,” he said with a stoic expression. “Then when you drown in soup I will be slightly less embarrassed.”

“Oh, I see,” she deadpanned. “Well, as long as my impending doom isn’t an inconvenience to you.”

“I’m glad you understand.”

Their eyes met briefly, but that was enough to break their charade. Both of them broke out into giggles and the conversation passed into a comfortable silence as they made their way to Adrien’s apartment. At which point, she let out another big yawn.

He looked at her with a frown. “You going to make it, lovebug?”

“Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “You’re going to have to carry me.” She stuck out her tongue at him and took a step towards the elevator.

Naturally, she didn’t make it much further than the one step since Adrien swept her up into his arms.

She laughed. “I was joking you ridiculous man.”

“Princesses get carried to their towers,” he replied loftily. “I don’t make the rules.”

The strong, independent woman in her wanted to struggle and get down, but the very tired design student who was presently in control simply cuddled closer as she laid her head on his chest. She felt warm and secure and relaxed for the first time in days. She closed her eyes to listen to his heartbeat more clearly.

She must have drifted off since when she opened her eyes, she was laying on his couch. There was a delicious smell in the air that was enough to make her stand up, clutching the blanket Adrien must have draped over her.

He smiled as she approached his kitchen. “Hey bed bug. Done with your cat nap?”

“For now, at least.” She rested her head against his back as he stirred. “What’re you cooking?”

“Potato soup. Straight from your father’s cookbook.”

She hummed happily. “I can’t wait.”

“Take a seat, I’ll pour you a bowl when its done.”

She moved to do so and happened to walk past the garbage can. Her eyes were drawn towards an uncrumpled letter facing up. It wasn’t hard to recognize the writing - years of idolizing the man behind the brand had trained her well. Even if it had been even more years since that particular pedestal had been broken, never to be rebuilt. She cautiously lifted it from the trash and scanned the page. Ladybug levels of singular purpose parted the tired fog of her mind as her anger was stoked.

“Adrien…” Something in her voice caused him to turn around with a frown. When he saw what she was holding, his eyes widened. “...Have you read this?”

“S-some of them.” There was a tenseness to his shoulders that hadn’t been there a moment before. A stiffness to the way he held himself. “Only skimmed that one before… before I lost it.”

Lost it? Sounds like Plagg’s doing. Marinette made a mental note to sneak the little guy even more treats. Then her eyes widened in realization as his words caught up to her brain.

“Wait. ‘Some’ of them? There are others?”

Adrien swallowed and visibly paled.

In a heartbeat, Marinette was beside him, the blanket forgotten as it pooled on the floor behind her. She reached a hand up to cup his cheek and he leaned into her touch gratefully. With her other hand, she grabbed his forearm and squeezed.

“Oh, kitty…”

After a few more deep breaths, he got himself under control. He took the letter and folded it up neatly before stashing it high on his refrigerator.

“So, uh…” He said in a voice that only barely warbled. “Soups ready.”

She knew him well enough to let it lie… for now. Adrien didn’t like being pressed or forced to talk about things, but she trusted him enough to talk in his own time. For now, all she could do was take his mind off of it.

And if that meant chatting over a dinner of soup and then cuddling on the couch for a few hours… she wasn’t about to complain.

-----

It was morning when Marinette woke up. Apparently she’d been picked up yet again since now she found herself in Adrien’s bed, with the man himself nuzzled up underneath her chin.

As much as she wanted to sleep in, a glance at the clock proved that wasn’t likely. She groaned and tried to wriggle out of Adrien’s grasp.

“Nooo…” Adrien moaned into her collarbone. “Stay…”

“You know I’ve got classes, sunshine…”

He raised his head and pleaded at her with those big, green eyes. His bottom lip quivered with overplayed sadness. It was almost enough to break her right there, but sheer stubbornness carried her through this time.

“Nice try, and very cute, but it’s still a no.”

He sighed. “It was worth a shot. What if I drive you into class?”

“I…” She glanced at the clock again. “I’d actually appreciate that, thanks.”

“And if I happened to not have anything else to do today and brought you lunch later… I don’t suppose you’d appreciate that too?”

She tried to pout at him for babying her, but the warm smile he was giving her was proving contagious. Instead, she sighed and rolled out of his arms before walking into his shower room.

His laughter could be heard even through the door. “I didn’t hear a ‘no’, princess!”

#Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Plagg #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrienette #aged up #ml fanfiction #my writing #Eating Habits #The Lucky One series

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musette22 · 6 years ago

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Hi I'm feeling very down, and pessimistic about Evanstan being a thing, now have been for months especially if its true that Chris said that Scarlett was the only one of his actor friends to come and see him in Lobby Hero? on that Variety thing- I can't find it Not I'm wondering if he and Seb were ever actually that close or I just built it up in my head. ( I mean Stackie has more basis in reality at this point) Help me get back to that happy place

Hi! Okay so, I’m getting a lot of asks about this which I totally understand, but I’m only going to answer one, because otherwise I would just be repeating myself. Sorry guys, I’m not ignoring anyone on purpose, just don’t want to spam everyone’s dash with the same answer over and over again! Also, this is going to be a long one so I’m gonna put it under the cut.

I’m really sorry you guys are feeling upset and disillusioned about Evanstan at the moment, it’s understandable but not fun, and I wanna hug you all and make you hot cocoa and tell you everything is gonna be fine, which it will be! 💗

So I do get why people are a bit upset about this, because it’s like, umm… no she wasn’t the only one who came to see you Chris, Seb went too (and Paul Rudd and Mark, for that matter, let’s not forget that!). It would’ve been nice if he had mentioned Seb, especially considering we all love that Lobby Hero moment so much, but I really don’t believe he’s ACTUALLY forgotten that Seb was there. Nor do I believe for one second that he was throwing shade at Seb or purposefully omitted him because he hates him, as some people have suggested - he’d have to hate Paul and Mark too, then! Plus, honestly, these two have never given any indication of actively disliking each other, plus they’re two of the most likable people in the business so I highly doubt they wouldn’t get along. And I know some people would say ‘but what if they had an ugly break up or something else bad happened?’ but I see no reason to think anything like that just because they don’t mention each other as much.

Yes, there is a possibility that they’re not all that close anymore and just drifted apart, and that would suck, and it would upset me too. But I enjoy shipping them for a big part because I believe they WOULD make an amazing couple, whether they really are or not. Having said that, I highly doubt there wasn’t ever anything going on between them. We have enough material to suggest otherwise! Sure, we see Seb and Mackie interact a lot more, but I’m never going to ship them if I don’t see that spark that I saw between Chris and Seb. I don’t think you just built it all up in your head, because that would mean ALL of us on here did, and I doubt we’re all delusional haha (at least I hope😂). But also, even if we don’t get any real Evanstan content anymore in the future, I wouldn’t let it completely put me off shipping them either. There’s enough to go on in the past to believe there was something, whether it’s still there or not, to make it worthwhile for me. I don’t blame anyone else if it’s just not enough for them to keep shipping them, that’s super understandable! But I personally love thinking about the possibilities and the what if’s and writing about them too much to give it up! A bit like with Stucky, I suppose. They’ll always have my heart ❤️

As for this interview, the way I see it, Chris was either just exaggerating a bit as you sometimes do in conversation (especially since he was actually talking to Scarlett). Like “you were like the only one, omg, all my other friends are rude!” when in reality he knows full well that’s not the case, and he doesn’t mean it either. Just him being a bit of a goofball as we all know he is often :p He was most likely just joking around and yeah, I also wish he hadn’t done that because ugh, can we please have some crumbs now and then?? 🙄 But I also really think it’s not as big a deal as it may seem at first glance!

Having said all that, I can also think of at least a couple of reasons why all this actually would be another reason to think there IS something between Chris and Seb after all… 😏 If they are together, after all, then Seb isn’t just an ‘actor friend’ to Chris, so it would make sense he didn’t mention him in that sense… He’s much more than that! And who knows, maybe it’s even that Chris didn’t want to want to bring Seb coming to see him up again because he knows they were being wayyyyyyy too obvious that night. I feel like he’s signed that photo of them together often enough at cons to know it’s something that makes people believe they’re a thing! So if they are, it makes sense that he would be like ‘I’m just going to distract by joking NO ONE but this friend I’m now talking to came to see me!’

Sure, maybe I’m clutching at straws here, but let’s be real, that’s what rpf shipping often is 🤷🏻‍♀️ Comes with the territory, sadly. And I for one am not going to let something which is probably entirely innocent put me off shipping these two, because I still believe they’d make a wonderful, amazing, beautiful couple and I think they still could be

#evanstan #rpf #minnie answers #obviously the keep reading thing still doesn't work on mobile 🙄#sorry guys

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trcublesomes · 5 years ago

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🔥🔥 –– have you seen [ MAXINE “MAX” DUVAL ] since the storm? some say they look like [ bridget satterlee ] but they’re [ 21 ] & go by [ THE PHOENIX ]. [ she ] lived in halloway for [ 21 years ] . before the town vanished they were studying [ mechanical engineering ] and lived at [ THE DORMS ]. most people knew the [ CISFEMALE ] as [ sharp-witted ] but i’ve heard they can also be [ - BRAZEN ]. for some reason, they feel [ relieved ] about the town’s disappearance. ( doofus, 23 (for like 2 more weeks ew), she/her, cst (the c stands for corn) ) –––––

–––– local idiot admin is back and she has a new child on the rise . pls do not call her maxine as she will not hesitate to clap back , and though she is cute and kinda little do not underestimate !! we have a true chaotic good on our hands who really just had the odds stacked against her quite a bit growing up but that is a-okay . ‘ i’ll read your rules before i break them ’ kinda bitch . ‘ act before thinking ’ kinda bitch . ‘ lead with your heart not your head ’ kinda bitch . ‘ good instincts but terrible table manners ’ kinda bitch . ANYWAY . . . you’ll see . carry on !! this intro is much lazier than my other one akdjfhas so bear w me

max was born and raised in halloway to the ‘never gonna get out of this place’ sorta people. only her mother did, shortly after she was born, in the middle of the night with no warning and no telling. of where she might go, leaving her with her father. woof.

her old man really tried. he was a good dad, but the man’s moral compass was all sorts of out of whack. he spent as much time as possible with max and took as good of care of her as possible but like honestly?? having a kid is EXPENSIVE. being alive is expensive, and the straight and narrow honest path doesn’t always get you what you need.

he ultimately fell back into old habits which meant he spent a lot of time in the city boosting cars only to bring them back to halloway to sell for parts or modify for street racing and upselling. this was a business he ran under the table at an autoshop in town that the duval family started decades prior.

max never really knew this was going on because he kept it very much separate from her. they spent a lot of time working in their garage at home together on his old beater truck and a couple of other junkers that came in through the years, but she never visited the autoshop past sundown. just figured dad was a mechanic by day and a bit dependent on alcohol most nights.

when she was around fifteen, though, a job went horribly wrong and put her father away for life. thus began max’s time in the system, three years and three different foster homes in and around the halloway area... which had her consistently frustrated because she A: knew being adopted wouldn’t happen since she was 15?? and B: had pretty much been taking care of herself her whole life so sticking her in a house seemed stupid.

duval’s autoshop was bought by a friend of her father’s who was a friend no more after the ordeal, and renamed. she got a job there when she was old enough, first running the front desk, then working under the hood. she’s a hands-on learner and caught on to anything her father didn’t teach her very quickly.

even though she was a hard worker and happily minded her own gd business... she’s her father’s daughter, and trouble always seemed to find her. sometimes it was her fault— because she’s got a temper and a knack for being fussy under heavy authority—, other times it was the preconceived judgements attached to her last name. “trouble’s in her dna” sort of thing.

18 rolls around and she’s made.... decent enough grades to get into a few schools with scholarships, but she opts to defer in order to work for a year and save up. lives out of her car for a little bit, couch surfs every now and then, stays with some very gracious hosts, and works her ass off until she’s able to go to school for mechanical engineering which is great!!!

but because she’s still in halloway, hat last name follows her, and a lot of local students kinda know who she is. know she's a bit sharp, a bit rough around the edges, from an icky background. but she did her best and kinda loved being able to actually work in labs and have friends and come back to the same dorm every now and again, even if she didn't have anywhere to go over holiday break. she was doing well fOR ONCE!!!

then the storm happened bc no one in halloway is ever allowed to be happy

it’s every man for themselves, last names and reputations be damned at first so despite initial panic she’s.. relieved, to say the least.

because her grey morality is no longer such a bad thing!! probably reveled in it for a while, hotwiring cars, picking locks, maybe took a bat to the window of an old foster home. then when she realized how serious the situation was ... she kinda ... started to promise herself that she wouldn't be the villain of this story!!!

and now?? well... like everyone else she’s just trying to survive, just trying to figure her shit out, and still takes no shit bc she is useful in this world and she will be damned if u make her feel like she’s not!!

P E R S O N A L I T Y

she may not be able to read jane austen in her free time at the speed of light, but max is sharp. she’s intuitive and knows how to take care of herself when the going gets rough. she’s quick to think on her feet and 110% a tactile learner as in... throw her into the fire and she’ll learn on the job. it’s why she’s so good with her hands and why she went into mechanical engineering.

she’s got... a lot of anger quietly bubbling under the surface bc she’s been dealt a shitty hand. but with no family, whose there to be mad at?? so she probably drinks more than she should... like father like daughter!!! because alcohol is cheaper than therapy my friends

a lil rambunctious, a lil rough around the edges. bold and a lil too fearless... never backs down from a dare even if she knows it’s a stupid one.

does not give up on herself and hates being underestimated. that said, she does have a tendency to give up on others quickly. she’s been let down a lot, and i mean, if you see a pattern and have no reason to believe someone’s going break it...

VERY loyal to the people she loves. she’d do anything for them, ethically questionable favors included, but these people are few and far between bc yikes! it’s hard to really get to know her

nice until you give her even the slightest reason not to be, and not much for second chances

looks like a cinnamon roll, could probably kill you type shit

chaotic good “i read the rules before i break them” type shit

fundamentally good

there’s a.... soft undertone to her... it’s there. it’s just rare, and it takes the right people to bring it out of her.

likes to take things apart and put them back together to see how they’re made aksdjf

also,........ has a lowkey love affair with music. she picked up guitar about a decade ago and often plays to relax herself. she’s got pretty voice and isn’t bad at the strumming game bUT YA KNOW it’s not something she ever wanted to do anything with. u wanna know what she sounds like??? of course i’ll show you even though you didn’t ask!! here ya go

she does not mind the disappearance because!! she has no one to go back to anyway. it also kinda gave her a clean slate. she’s useful here more than she is notorious. the playing field is more even. and like... the girl IS useful so !!! she’s better off here than back ‘home’, in her opinion

lil bit of selina kyle... lil bit of season 2 nancy wheeler... lil bit of raven reyes

OK THIS TURNED OUT MORE OBNOXIOUS THAN PLANNED

i’m gonna spam the dash now aksdjfh but smash the like and i’ll come to you and we can plot w max (and esme since i suck and haven’t done that either)

#this. is UGLYASDLKFA #hallowayintro #nakdjf

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dcarhcarts · 6 years ago

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This.....is the 1000th post on this blog, and I definitely waited until that could be true to post it, and that’s honestly? Very fitting. Seriously, you guys are a m a z i n g and I have literally never done a milestone before so I can’t tell you what it’s supposed to look like?? But we’ve somehow Miraculously (tm) managed to reach 100 followers and - anyway, this is going to be me very unprofessionally gushing about everyone because....I love you all and you’re all amazing aaaaaa. I’m??? Literally so blessed to have made friends and write with all of you. Y’all with multiple blogs, I’m only tagging once so I don’t spam your feed ok? And - as usual, this is going to get Long, because everything I do gets Long apparently. I tried to do it chronologically but IDK how well it worked oops.

THE LOVES OF MY LIFE, THE SUN IN MY EYES, MY MOON AND STARS

@ccrrupticn / D!!!! you are?? literally the reason I made this blog?? Without you, this thing would n o t mcfreaking exist omg!! You’re such an amazing writer (seriously, you manage so many muses and you give them all such distinct voices??? witchcraft???) and also so ???ridiculously kind! I love gushing to you about our Kids and you’re honestly A Saint (tm) for dealing with all of my blog construction/life related breakdowns, my crazy crossover headcanons and crashing into your inbox rambling about musicals <3 I miss talking to you so hmu whenever you come back if you want!!

@personnages / Lynna!! You’re like an Actual Angel. I think you were the first person!! who talked to me?? And You were So Nice and Welcoming that you literally soothed half of my fears coming into rpc like immediately?? You basically helped me figure out how diminutives work and you’re responsible for me adding at least 3 of my muses and I cannot tell you how much I love you and every time you pop onto my dash/feed/discord/etc, it just makes me happy inside <3 Definitely 100000% will follow you to every blog (if you’ll have me lmao) regardless of fandom!! i’m super excited about all of our ship/friendship roulettes and you’re just an absolute joy to talk to.

@nikolacvnas / LYDIA goodness you are a W O N D E R. Probably the best? Historically based blog I’ve ever encountered, and definitely one of my favorite parts of the Anastasia rpc!! The care and research and attention to detail that goes into your portrayals are a s t o n i s h i n g? Your Tatya is divine, your Maria is So Lovely and I Cry For Joy that you write Dima honestly. I’d been eyeing your blog for a little bit before I made my own - and I was honestly a little scared of you when we started cause you are a GODDESS and I am a potato, but then we talked??? and you’re hilarious and a ridiculously kind person and I love you? And of course, I love your dog (the cutest in the universe).

@mythostold / LESLIE~ Different blog, same story~ Man, I’ve been following you since maybe day two of this blog being active? No matter which fandom you end up in and which muse you write, you have such!! good!!! takes!!! For one, I love reading your meta posts??? Like you’re just so incredibly passionate about your muses?? And your writing style is so good aaaaaaa it’s so atmospheric. And on top of all of that - you’re??? such a sweet and incredible??? person??? And I love talking to you boo <3

@lifeawoke / NAT BBYSWEET <3 <3 <3 I have told the story of how I did a victory dance when you followed me to d e a t h probably but it’s t r u e your writing is amazing and your blog is amazing and y o u are amazing! You are the Natasha to my Sonya, and literally every time you send me a musing I’m like immediate-goofy-grin-heart-eyes???? It’s honestly a crime we don’t have more threads but like you’re an absolute joy to talk to and meme with and I adore you/your portrayal of beautiful bratty Natasha even if she drives my Sonya up the wall <3 You are Definitely the Funny Mutual lololol I crack up so much talking to you <3

@valianceearned / CARP you’re an amazing person/writer and holy h e c k am I impressed by your OCs!! They’re all so well thought out and developed? Your bios are so detailed and so much love and care is put into all of your characters. And your writing is so Lovely and it’s also very aesthetically lovely like holy heck the amount of work you put into both the content and the formatting? I am agog, I am aghast!!

@gearsandlevers / Callie!!!!! YOU ROUND ALL THE CORNERS I STRAIGHTEN THE CURVES!! love your kids so much. Your Violet is a delightfully clever and likeable kid, your Evan might have literally walked off the stage two seconds ago, and you’ve put so much thought into your cinnabon stoner Henry. Your dialogue is amazing and I love our headcanon sessions lobbing ideas back and forth with you!!

@spareisms / HEY MAGGIE GUESS WHAT YOU’RE WORTH MELTING FOR!! You’re like the sweetest person alive??? How are you an Actual Real Life Disney Princess?? Your Anna is so well characterized and multi layered and I love how she an be so flawed but so brave and just how human she is. I’m very excited for your Anne Shirley too!! You’re a great writer (and a super sweet person aaaa) and I love you!!

@gcneralvaganov / Deanna, I have just one question: How? Have we only known each other for like 2 months???? It feels like my dash would literally be incomplete without you?? You play such deeply complex and incredibly flawed muses with such a great depth of respect and humanity. I love all of our AUs (we.....probably have a dozen by now), our long fix-canon tangents, and....look the inevitable conclusion to this whole thing is that we should....basically just write Anastasia tbh??? You’re incredibly funny and kind and talented and I’m so glad I yeeted myself into your IMs that first time 2 months ago! I love you, I love your muses, (Dima and Anya love their Dumb Boyfriend), and I love writing with you!

@ncvaflows / ALEXA YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND YOU. You??? Unlocked Ultimate AU Mode Ro and it’s like I c a n ‘ t stop?? First off, I cannot believe we literally own the same books and like the same barbie movies. How are we not literally the same person?? (Maybe w e ’ r e Anneliese and Erika lmao). Honestly from day 1 you’ve been so welcoming and lovely and I’m so glad we crashed into each other’s IMs yelling at top volume about random ya lit/movies/aus!! I adore literally all of your OCs (is everyone a b s o l u t e l y sure they’re not canon??? hmmmmm a Mystery)???? In the words of Li Shang, “You WRITE GOOD????” Anyway you’re amazing and I love you <3

WHILE IT’S DEFINITELY MY FAULT FOR BEING AN ANXIOUS BEAN WE REALLY NEED TO TALK MORE OFTEN CAUSE I LOVE YOU

@curtainrisen / Rebekah, dude, you’re a wonder. Your muses??? So diverse, and your voices for them? Super on the nose and amazing. I love your Helene and how human she is, and I really gotta toss more of my kids at you (Super excited for Duke!!). You’re real chill to meme with and I love talking/writing with you!!

@heartlosttravelers / Tor!! I love that you stan Raoul de Chagny So Hard ( the pure cinnamon roll boy deserves it honestly) and you’re super cool and great to talk to! All your muses are a m a z i n g and I always love the read when you pop up on my dash!

@damerusse / Marie!! You’re hella chill. Your memes???? 10000000% actually legendary. Meming with you cracks me The Heck Up. Lily is forever the puppy dealer, that is all, thank you, gnight. Ok for real though - your Lily is pretty Legendary too and you really got all that Spark and Fire right down. You’re amazing, and I love stalking your threads on my dash!

@lionhvrted / Fortune, my buddy my pal, we really be Out Here making Jane Austen plots even m o r e rom-com. Like. How did we manage that??? We might be literally magical lmao. We don’t have a ton of stuff going on at the moment but I love our dumb pining kids and I love the justice and humanity you give to your Caroline, and Fitzy loves his (future) wife.

@guvernantka / P R U E I already love our Exasperated Big Sis / Annoying Lil Sis / LITERALLY WHO EVEN ARE YOU YOU SMELLY DUMBASS LIL BRO IN LAW dynamic. You have the Best Sense of Humor (tm) and I’m always catching you when it’s like 12 in the morning here so I’m always cracking up silently in bed trying not to wake my roommies up.

@anastcsie / I LOVE OUR ANGRY SMOL AND DIRTY TOL YOUNG-BUT-OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR OLDEST DAUGHTER NAMED MARIA ALREADY. I love your Anya and how feisty and fiery she is (Dima, needless to say, loves his wife) and I love how chill (and hilarious!!) you are as a person. We do have a tendency to turn into angst monsters 24/7 but honestly that’s half the fun!!

@asundrop / Polly!!!! ok so I know we haven’t really done anything w/ Raps (yet muahaha) BUT b o y was I hella excited when I found someone willing to yell about CDrama with me??? Thank you for being the Eternally Stoic/Always Annoyed Ancient God to my Tiny Dumb Fox Princess?? I love them and I love you (you’re hella cool) so there!

@moretreasurewithin / KAAAATE goodness it’s only been a couple of days but I’m So Comfortable talking to you already? You’re just honestly really amazingly kind and I love screaming about Anastasia with you. We gotta get more going but I love your Dima and Maria Already (tm) and I love your sense of humor (here’s to torturing Dima with ties!!) and I can’t wait to get to know you better!

@annastrxng / AAAA somehow I managed to chat with you and then?? We never got anything going and it’s definitely mostly my fault cause of that High Anxiety (and also the fact that I got Immediately Busy) but you are literally So Nice and The Most Understanding and super great to talk to!! I hope we get something going in the future!!

@soulcrossed / ROSE we have the same name I keep forgetting this lmao BUT ANYWAY. All your muses?? Amazing. You gotta throw more of them at me. Your Sophie?? Are you Actually Diana Wynn Jones in disguise?? I love our crazy au/headcanon sessions and I love/hate that you’re The Worst Enabler and I’m inevitably going to end up with the other two Hatter sisters on this blog lmao.

I HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU TON YET BUT HI!!! YOU SEEM CHILL!!

@alonecour / @steeledstark / @professor-of-predators / @sclskinn / @dulcettc / @volaticoux / @frxncaise / @argelfrasterr / @i-wrote-myway / @zharptiitsa / @villainsfall / @anyaromanovarp / @agoodandloyalrussian / @aliquisinter

AND EVERY ONE OF Y’ALL AMAZING PEOPLE OUT THERE I’M ADMIRING SILENTLY FROM AFAR EVEN NOW BECAUSE I CHICKENED OUT OF TAGGING YOU LAST MINUTE CAUSE WHAT IF YOU’RE LIKE “LMAO WHO IS THIS WEIRDO TAGGING ME??” (p.s. this is 100000% permission to slide into my IMs/like a plotting call/etc. I honestly think y’all are hella cool and probably love you already)

#follow forever #( milestone )#( ooc ) ✵ ~ CHANDELIERS AND CAVIAR ~ /#((................you know i made more friends than i thought i would coming into rpc as an anxious smol))#((I LOVE YOU ALL YOU'RE ALL AMAZING))#((thanks for putting up w/ me & my Super Anxious Self))#((ok i'm just gonna post this before i forget and reblog something and miss the 1000th post))

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chippedcupanddustybooks · 7 years ago

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Get to know me - tag I was tagged by @anotherplumbob so here you go! I tried to update my simself a bit. Even though my hair is way longer right now :D 1. What is your full name? Celine 2. What is your nickname? Chip 3. Birthday? june 22nd 4. What is your favorite book series? Definitely Harry Potter :D 5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Not in the scary horror movie kind of way. I guess there’s probably some kind of life somewhere out there in the universe. And on the matter of ghosts: Sometimes I want to believe our loved ones aren’t gone completely and still watching over us in some kind but not in a spooky haunting houses kind of way :P 6. Who is your favorite author? J.K. Rowling 7. What is your favorite radio station? I only listen to my local radio station on my way to work in my car 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Lime 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? awesome I guess 10. What is your current favorite song? Writing down favorites is always so hard because mine change so much :D But I like the song “Odds of Being Alone” by Trent Dabbs & Amy Stroup a lot at the moment

Putting the rest under the cut for not spamming your dash!

11. What is your favorite word? mhm not really favorite word but my best friend is always saying I use the word amusing a lot even though no one really uses it anymore . Also nostalgic 12. What was the last song you listened to? see favorite song 13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Everything on this list 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? One of the old Disney movies! I have almost every movie on DVD 15. Do you play video games? yes 16. What is your biggest fear? Losing loved ones 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I think I’m quit empathic and people say I’m good at giving advice and cheering them up. 18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I talk too much and am being sarcastic to protect myself way too much 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? dogs! 20. What is your favorite season? spring but autumn being very close second 21. Are you in a relationship? no 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? not having to worry about so much 23. Who is your best friend? I have a male best friend I met back in high school 24. What is your eye color? Dark blue with a partial heterochromia in my left eye 25. What is your hair color? dark rown 26. Who is someone you love? My family, friends and pets 27. Who is someone you trust? The persons I trust most are my mother and my best friend 28. Who is someone you think about often? Everyone I know that is struggling with something and people I lost 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? Hopefully celebrating christmas with my whole family again this year! Also having some days off around the end of december! 30. What is your biggest obsession? Constantly changing between my hobbys and interests - currently I’m back at obsessing about everything Harry Potter related 31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? As small child I loved House of mouse and Bear in the big blue house 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my best friend 33. Are you superstitious? no 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? I absolutely terrified of diving and being pulled under water - especially after a teacher in school nearly drowned me when I was 11yrs old 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I’m working in video post production and as a photographer so definitely BEHIND the camera! 36. What is your favorite hobby? ballroom dancing, sims, reading & photography 37. What was the last book you read? Currently rereading the Harry Potter series so right now I’m at chamber of secrets!

38. What was the last movie you watched? I saw phantastic beasts 2 last monday

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? sadly I can’t play any instruments even though I would love to be able to play the piano 40. What is your favorite animal? dogs 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? That’s way too hard to decide :D 42. What superpower do you wish you had? going back in time 43. When and where do you feel most at peace? cuddling with my dogs at home 44. What makes you smile? happy animals, seing my friends & family 45. What sports do you play, if any? I’m not a sports person at all - if you don’t count ballroom dancing 46. What is your favorite drink? coffee 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? A long while ago back in school 48. Are you afraid of heights? no 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? narcissim and impoliteness 50. Have you ever been to a concert? no 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? no 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? I always wanted to work with pets but I couldn’t bear seeing all the awful things at a vet or shelter so I decided to go for something different. I still volunteer at the shelter though! 53. What fictional world would you like to live in? The Harry Potter universe 54. What is something you worry about? I’m constantly worrying about everyone around me 55. Are you scared of the dark? no 56. Do you like to sing? in the car to myself yes but in front of others no way 57. Have you ever skipped school? yes I skipped a few useless classes sometimes 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? My favorite city is London. Favorite place is sitting on my window sill with the window open at summer nights! 59. Where would you like to live? London or somewhere in switzerland even though I love my home town 60. Do you have any pets? two silver labradors 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets 63. Do you know how to drive? Yes 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? For working or at home headphones but for travelling earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? yes from age 11-14yrs 66. What is your favorite genre of music? I don’t have a favorite genre it’s a wild mix of everything from calm alternative music to Rock’n’Roll from the 50s 67. Who is your hero? My mother 68. Do you read comic books? no but I read some Disney comics when I was younger 69. What makes you the most angry? people lying to my face, someone hurting my loved ones 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? I tried to like E-books but I just can’t get used to them and I love the smell of new books! 71. What is your favorite subject in school? Geography 72. Do you have any siblings? 1 half-sister but we don’t have much contact 73. What was the last thing you bought? a christmas present for my grandma and a Winnie Pooh notebook 74. How tall are you? 165cm / 5,4 feet 75. Can you cook? A few things 76. What are three things that you love? cuddling with pets, sitting on my window sill on a rainy day, sleeping 77. What are three things that you hate? having to wake up early, annoying people & animal abuse 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? female but it used to be the other way around for a long time 79. What is your sexual orientation? straight 80. Where do you currently live? Germany 81. Who was the last person you texted? a friend of mine 82. When was the last time you cried? two weeks ago on my way back from work after a real shitty week 83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? I don’t watch YouTube a lot so I don’t have one 84. Do you like to take selfies? not at all - my phone is basically 80% dog photos 85. What is your favorite app? the apps I use the most are Whatsapp, discord, tumblr & spotify 86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? My mom and I are very close/ my father and I have a very complicated relationship 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? I love the british accent 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? I would love to visit canada and ireland one day 89. What is your favorite number? 4 90. Can you juggle? no 91. Are you religious? no 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? The deep ocean even though I’m totally scared of being under water 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? No not really more of the opposite 94. Are you allergic to anything? kiwis and most pain killers 95. Can you curl your tongue? no 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? I’m always open to admitting I’ve done something wrong in argument because it’s never jsut one person that did something wrong 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest 99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Not really an advice but a lesson I learned. Sometimes you can’t save everyone from themselves. So sometimes you just have to let go. 100. Are you a good liar? depends on who I’m lying to. I hate lying to people that mean a lot to me so those often notice something is wrong. 101. What is your Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw 102. Do you talk to yourself? yes sometimes 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? A mix of both. More of an introvert I guess but once I get to know people I can also be an extrovert 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? I used to a few years ago but not anymore 105. Do you believe in second chances? yes but I give way too many to people I like 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?return it or hand it to the police 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yes but sometimes people are wa better in changing for the worse 108. Are you ticklish? no 109. Have you ever been on a plane? yes 110. Do you have any piercings? no not even ear holes 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Dobby! 112. Do you have any tattoos? no 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? applaing for my current job 114. Do you believe in karma? Yes 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no 116. Do you want children? I’m not sure if it’s going to change but at the moment I would say I don’t think so 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my mother 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? I’m so clumsy I’m getting myself into embarassing situations every day. But on the top of the list would be a mistake on my graduation that caused ALL my photos from my external drive ending up in the slideshow that was shown on stage... 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes 120. What color are most of you clothes? all shades of blue, dark red, grey and brown 121. Do you like adventures? I’m a control freak so it’s hard for me to enjoy situations that I don’t know the end of 122. Have you ever been on TV? yes, I worked as a photgrapher on a pet adoption show and was seen in the background 123. How old are you? 21 124. What is your favorite quote? Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket and the best tea cup is chipped ;) 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Savory I’m tagging @saurussims @simblrbreezycakes & @mlyssimblr (Feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to do it!)

#tag game #get to know me tag #nonsims

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vronnica · 7 years ago

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‹ ･｡ ☾ [ blackpink vc ] hey boys. soz for missing plotting hour and opening… my bf wanted a cheese and wine night, so y’all know i was knocked af for like 12+ hrs. but now i am back and ready for action ! HENNYWAYS,,, i’m acacia ( she/her ), i’m twenty years of age, and i hail from the pst timezone ! i love kpop ( specifically got7 and blackpink. however, my ult bias is vernon from seventeen. if you know, you know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), milk tea, and mac and cheese. sooo sorry you’re all trapped in this rp w/ me. but y’all will learn to adore my 3am messages and casual spam on the dash. with that being said, under the cut you’ll find out more about my piece of shit baby angel, ronnie ! if you want ur muse to be friends with the stereotypical rich bitch. keep on readin bbs ;) psa: if you like this then you’re obligated to plot with me srry but i don’t make the rules. ( i’m jk please like this or i’ll cry. ) i’ll either slide in your IMs or you can contact me on discord @ mlilk#3162

jennie kim & cisfemale • hey, isn’t that veronica moon? she is that twenty-two year old that’s been living in conyers farm for twenty years. did you know her family is worth $18B? no wonder she is so ingenious & haughty. she is known around the estates as the aesthete, after all.

Q U I C K G U I D E O F V E R O N I C A

PINTEREST BOARD

STATISTICS PAGE

RELATIONSHIPS ( WANTED CONNECTIONS )

H E R D A I L Y R O U T I N E

in veronica’s dreams, she is the epitome of a morning person. in reality, she’s a two in the afternoon kind of person. however, her schedule does not allow her to do that. so she does everything possible to transform herself into a morning person. new white rays shine through the window as she lies in her queen sized bed. she lifts up the aqua colored silk eye mask and the warm ball of light filtered through her thin eyelids. it takes her a moment to adjust but eventually her eyes flutter open to reveal the exhaust in her chocolate brown hues. she extends her arm out to her bed side table, grabbing ahold of her phone. she clears out the notifications that do not automatically appeal to her and checks the ones that do. after five minutes of procrastinating, she finally slips out of bed.

ronnie trudges her feet against the hardwood floor, making her way over to her bathroom. with a flick of a switch, the bright light from the crystal chandelier fills up the room. she runs herself a bath. filling the tub with lavender and jasmine bath salts. her le soir silk night slip pools around her feet as she climbs into the warm water. she’s completely and utterly relaxed. the time passes too quickly and she’s back on her feet. she wraps the fluffy white towel around her small frame and walks into her closet. winter, her favorite time of the year. she picks out a classic veronica moon outfit. a light orange and black tartan patterned dress paired with her wool cashmere burberry coat. and with a single spritz of her chanel no.5 onto her chest, she’s ready for the day.

B A C K S T O R Y

moon jisung, ( chairman and co-owner of urban place resorts / hotels ) met vanessa ross ( retired model, turned fashion designer ) back in 1995 at one of vanessa’s casting calls. that, of course, was being held at urban place’s gangnam location. it definitely was not love at first sight. vanessa’s serious aura made jisung think she was a lawyer. jisung’s spazzy persona had vanessa thinking, “ this man is the chairman ? ” their relationship remained business. until one day jisung accidentally texted the designer one letter, “ q. ” from there, the relationship blossomed.

october 29, 1996, veronica moon was born, the moon family was complete, and they’re absolutely perfect. two years after she was born, jisung and vanessa decided to make a permanent home in conyers farm. therefore, veronica grew up in a really nice household. nice cars, designer clothes, and every day was a vacation. she was constantly spoiled. always given whatever she wants, whenever she wants. and of course, she’s used to getting her way all the time. ultimately making her: bad and boujee. her family is loaded. ( duh every1′s is. ) and she’s always been surrounded by lots of love and luxury.

being the only child, ronnie never had any consequences. in school, she became sort of a bully. she was very ruthless and cold. she had that, “i’ll do anything to get where i need to be,” personality. and if it meant paying someone to transfer the other student threatening her valedictorian spot, then yes, of course she’d do that. people either hated her or loved her. there was no in between. she kept her clique small. ( yes, a clique, which indeed was very exclusive. invite only. think of regina george or blair waldorf. ) she ran her school and she liked to keep it that way.

once she graduated she became more of an adult about things. but, old habits die hard. therefore, some of those traits she developed in school still linger with her til this day. just a little more filtered. ( truly, just a tad bit. ) she got accepted into almost every ivy league college. her mother gave her the option to just pass on college. her father on the other hand, encouraged her to go to school to have the major under her belt. ultimately, she decided to go to yale and major in art history. ( she chose yale because it was only a little over an hour away from conyers. ) though, now, most of her classes are being completed online.

present time: veronica is currently taking a semester off school to really think about what she wants to do after she graduates. at the moment, she spends a majority of her time working on her art. growing up she always had an artistic eye. vanessa ( being a fashion designer ) taught her all the techniques when it came to drawing for fashion. though eventually, veronica steered away from the clothing industry and found herself drawing more intricate works of art.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

too long; didn’t read: an angel with a halo unbalanced with horns, not a devil but not a saint either ?? kind yet has a backbone. softer than what she seems like. humorous and witty though understanding. mistrusting but willing to let loyalty speak. wealthy but tries not to depend on her family. stays away from the king glitterati lifestyle and fronts as if she’s just a normal gal livin’ in conyers etcetc.

she has that tell it like it is personality. she just calls it likes she sees it. even if she’s not exactly right. she’s literally drowning in her riches. making her materialistic af. some people might think she’s that dumb bimbo rich bitch. but she’s actually very VERY smart. witty and intelligent to be exact.

super particular when it comes to most things. ( high maintenance queen. ) she wants things done correctly. so she often runs by the quote, “ if you want things right you gotta do it yourself. ” she absolutely despises like relying on others to get things done when she knows she could do it faster and better. a little bit of a ocd queen.

her instagram = her job. it’s filled with ootds, selfies, food pics. but most importantly: her art. it’s the platform she uses to show people she isn’t just a pretty rich girl. she has talent. ( *insert "the kardashian's have no talent" - proven wrong in 7 minutes vid.* )

she’s very dedicated to her work, thus making her very goal oriented. she’s very creative and she’s actually a very good artist. she’s one of those people that set their mind to something and goes through with it until the end. i’m sure she picked up doodling and bullet journaling while growing up. *plays boss ass bitch vine.*

too long; didn’t read pt. 2: she’s slowly growing out of her tough head of hair and morphing into a young woman so beautiful over the years, but also at times, terrifying ?? self destructive ?? even if she’ll never let anyone see her deteriorate her insides sigh. she’s a hot mess. but she tries her best to hide that shit. yeye sweg.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

FRIENDSHIPS: she has plenty of friends, at least in her head. in reality, she just knows a lot of people through her many connections. so she has many affiliations. but never real friends. she’s very particular with the people she associates herself with. she believes that those around you reflect who you are as a person as well. therefore, she only surrounds herself with the best of the best. she may not be the best person to tell your secrets too either because she’s quite the gossip queen. but she can probably persuade you to trust her. rip. however, if you are a close friend of her’s, she’s very loyal to those who are loyal to her. which means she’d never do you dirty. but that’s only if she really cares about you. she’s a really great listener and she’s willing to give advice to those are willing to take it. plus, she’s the type to spoil the people she loves. so expect the best christmas gifts ever if u rollin’ with her.

honestly, she really does need to surround herself with good people with genuinely good intentions. so please, someone teach her what loyalty is.

bonus points if they’ve been friends for awhile. displays loyalty.

ENEMIES: she was bully in high school. so you know this girl has more than enough enemies ( and haters. ) she uses people, she pushes people around, etc etc. like she has some very evil intentions. she’s vengeful and irrational. she puts fuel to drama and loves to see people crash and burn. why ? she wants that reassurance that she is flourishing above all. she never wants to be belittled and will do anything to remain on the very top. however,,, ronnie does have some good intentions. she leans more to the chaotic neutral side. ( maybe tilted a bit more towards evil, but still. ) deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeeeep down the girl is trust issue central when it comes to letting people in. she can’t help it. she’s like that one rihanna meme, them: you can’t just cut people off. ronnie: *holds a pair of scissors* she doesn’t have problem with letting people go. so people think she’s a bitch because, “how could you just drop our five year long friendship like that.” and she’d just shrug. but really, she’s hurting beyond repair and will go home crying while eating a thing of ben & jerry’s chunky monkey.

there’s always that possibility where a friendship just didn’t work out. maybe they just stopped having time for each other and now it’s just mad awk. whatever it is, an enemy would b beaut.

veronica absolutely needs enemies. give her many. plenty. an abundance please.

LOVERS: i have a feeling she’s dabbled in the dating world. she’s had a few boyfriends, dates, etc. but most likely nothing LONG TERM. possibly because she doesn’t see the point unless it’s for marriage. just like her mom and dad. she has this [ beyoncé vc ] independent woman facade going on right now. which makes her seem like she doesn’t want anyone. but she’s secretly a hopeless romantic. this girl would love to be loved. and she truly needs it. she’s probably read tons of books about love and fluffy shit like that. it’d be a hard mission to win this girl over. but not impossible. she just has high expectations when it comes to relationships. so someone rlly needs to come here and treat this girl right.

100% dabbles in the quick hook ups for the sake of fulfilling those needs.

though, if the right person were to come along… she’d be loyal to them, completely devoted to just them.

CONGRATULATIONS ! you made it to end ! if you read all of this… i love you. i only ever write so much bc… it gets me in character lmao. also, i wrote all of this literally the moment i woke up so pls excuse any mistakes. i would really love to plot with everyone. so just slide into my IMs and we can get things started !! luv u *blows a kiss*

#trustfunds:intro #idk why i'm ALWAYS late to things #kill m e ;-)))

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alpxcamin · 7 years ago

Text

Trust Me

Requested?: Yup, sorry for the wait!

Words: 3.2k

Group: Idol Producer

Member(s): Yanchen (feat. Gramerie bois)

A/n: Omg I’m so sorry for the wait! I’ve been pretty busy the past week and I haven’t really gotten any inspiration recently, but this one is finally done! I hope you guys enjoy it~

You’ve always known Yanchen as the smiley and sunny guy he is. His pearly whites nearly blind you whenever he’s smiling. However, you also know the darker and more dangerous side of Yanchen. It came as quite a surprise to you that someone so bright could be in such a dark position.

You and Yanchen met each other in college and both of you are in the same dance class and both of you often partner up. Soon enough, the two of you practically become best friends. You also get to know a few of Yanchen’s friends and have become close with them too.

Gradually, you begin to find yourself falling in love with Yanchen. Everything he did just made you so happy and watching him smile makes you want to smile. His dancing became an inspiration for your own and he’s the one who motivates you to practice more and dance harder. Yanchen became your sun.

“Hey, y/n,” Yanchen’s voice brings you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, yeah? What’s up?” you ask, shaking your head a little.

Both of you had partnered up again for yet another project and both of you decided to take a small break. You look over at Yanchen and you feel butterflies in your stomach. How could someone still look so good after dancing for hours and hours nonstop? You’re just a sweaty tomato at this point, but Yanchen looks like he just stepped out the shower.

“Can you get my phone for me, please?” Yanchen points over to his bag, lying in the corner of the room next to yours.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” you nod, reaching over.

You dig through his bag until you found his phone. As you pull it out, a hoard of texts starts coming in. The buzzing startles you and you peek down to see that Xingjie is spamming Yanchen with messages. It shocks you a little since Xingjie never spams anyone. Maybe it was different with Yanchen.

“Xingjie is texting you a lot,” you hum, trying to read what he’s sent.

Yanchen plucks the phone out of your hands before you can read anything. He gives you a small smile and you smile back sheepishly. Normally, Yanchen wouldn’t mind you reading through his texts, but maybe this was important.

Yanchen scrolls through the texts, mumbling to himself before looking over at you again, “I’m so sorry, y/n. I have to go now.”

“Ah, it’s alright,” you shrug, a little disappointed that your time with Yanchen has been cut short.

“Maybe we can practice longer another day. Take care and make sure to get home safely!” Yanchen quickly packs his stuff and he’s out the door within seconds.

After Yanchen had left, you silently pout by yourself while dancing. You really want to impress Yanchen through this project so you decide to put your all into this one. You always do your best, but this time you’re testing your limits.

Time flies as you continue to dance, only stopping for a minute to drink some water or use the restroom. Finally, you decide it’s time to go home. It’s already two in the morning and your stomach grumbles, reminding you that you haven’t had dinner yet. Sighing, you pack your bags and set out to find a place that opens 24/7.

You’ve been out this late a couple of times before, but someone, usually Yanchen, was always with you. You’ve never been out this late at night alone and you begin to feel a little scared. You’ve walked a little further than usual since there really wasn’t a proper restaurant anywhere near your apartment complex or school.

Just as you are about to give up looking for a place, you spot a small, cozy looking ramen shop at the corner. You skip towards the shop happily, almost crying out of happiness. You step into the small shop and notice that everyone is silent. There’s no noise at all and you peek at the staff at the counter, confused.

Luckily, the staff caught your gaze and he gives you a small hand motion as if telling you to leave. A little confused and extremely hungry, you cock your head to the side, you open your mouth to ask him something.

However, just as you are about to, a loud gunshot rang through the air and everyone began to panic. You just stand there, dazed and confused about what just happened. Your eyes travel from staff to staff and a few more shots rang out.

Slowly, your eyes shift to a large man standing by the table. He was the one who had shot the gun and your breath hitches in your throat. The man slowly turns over and makes eye contact with you.

You feel yourself backing towards the door, shaking like there’s no tomorrow. Everything seemed so surreal at the moment. Your vision becomes focused on the man and your hearing gone. At last, your back hits the door and you let out a small squeak.

You try to push the door open, but in your panicked state, you really can’t seem to do anything. You feel tears prickling your eyes and you try to hold them back, but they come tumbling down your face anyway. The man slowly points his gun at you and you really freak out, pushing against the door as hard as you can.

You don’t notice a dark figure come rushing towards you. As the man pulls the trigger, you’re knocked to the side and you watch as the bullet hits the door where you were just standing. All your senses come back to you and you look up to your savior.

“Yanchen?” you shriek.

“Y/n, why are you out so late?” Yanchen ignores your question, gripping your shoulders tightly.

“I-I just finished p-practicing…” you stutter as Yanchen nudges you around a little, checking for injuries.

Yanchen looks as if he is going to scold you, but he just shakes his head instead and tosses you over his shoulder before dashing out the store. You had no idea Yanchen had this kind of strength. You decided against protesting since you weren’t even sure what’s going on and you really didn’t have the fight in you anymore.

“I’m sorry, I’ll explain everything later,” Yanchen briefly tells you as he turns the corner.

You see a dark van just at the end of the alley and you see the door slides open as if expecting Yanchen. He simply speeds up and dives into the van, taking you with him. He quickly closes the door and makes sure you’re seated before the car begins driving again.

“Y/n, are you alright?” Yanchen asks you.

You’re still in a daze and you nod slightly, trying to see who else is in the van. You look up at the mirror and you gasp. The driver is Xingjie and Xiao Gui is sitting right next to him, up front with a laptop on his lap. Your eyes slowly moved from them back to Yanchen, pupils shaking.

“Y-yanchen?” you barely let out.

“Listen, no one’s going to hurt you anymore, okay? Please, don’t be scared,” Yanchen looks at you desperately, reaching out.

Out of instinct, you flinch and back away a little. You look down, not daring to look at Yanchen. You hear him sigh and you begin to feel a little guilty.

“Y/n, please just listen to Yanchen,” Xingjie pleads you from the driver’s seat.

You stay silent, still looking down. You suddenly don’t feel safe with your friends anymore and you begin to shrink into yourself. You silently pray to yourself that Yankai isn’t involved in whatever is happening.

“Jie jie, please?” you hear Xiao Gui beg.

You gulp and peek at Yanchen who looks as if he’s about to cry. You’ve never seen any of them cry before, especially Yanchen. When you make eye contact, Yanchen gulps and reaches out and takes your hands in his.

Even though you’re scared out of your mind, you still feel your heart flutter at his touch. You want to look away, but at the same time, you can’t. Yanchen’s expression softens and he gently strokes your hands with his.

“Y/n, please just hear me out. You can ignore us or hate us or whatever after. We just want to keep you safe,” Yanchen leans in a little.

You don’t back away this time, but you glance at Xingjie and Xiao Gui through the mirror. You gulp as you make eye contact with them and quickly look back at Yanchen. He let out a small sigh before nodding, cueing him to continue.

“We’re in a mafia, y/n,” Yanchen pauses, waiting for your reaction. You don’t do anything but nod slightly, still trying to wrap your brain around it.

Yanchen takes your silence as a sign to continue, “I promise we would NEVER do anything to hurt you. The reason we got into all of this is because we’re trying to pay our boss back. We ran into him at different times and he introduced us to each other. We’re basically family at this point. I’ll spare you the details of exactly what we did, but we’re just trying to pay back our debts. Once we’ve done what he wants, we’re out.”

“What about Yankai? He’s not...in...is he?” you blurt out.

“No, he doesn’t know at all,” Yanchen continues stroking your hand comfortingly.

You nod, feeling relief that the younger isn’t involved in any way. Your eyes dart down to your hands and you simply stare at Yanchen’s large hands cover your much smaller ones. You silently listen to Yanchen explain things, trying to keep yourself focused on his story. Suddenly, the urge to cry came over you and your vision begins to blur. You sniff a few times just as the van comes to a full stop.

“Y/n, please just trust us,” Xingjie sighs.

“Trust me?” Yanchen nods, holding your hands, a glint of hope in his eyes.

The four of you sit in the van in silence. The only sound was of you sniffling, trying to keep your tears in. After a good few minutes of sitting around and thinking, look up and give them your best smile. You decide that they can be trusted. You’ve been good friends with them for a while now and just throwing away such friendship would be a waste.

“Y/n?” Xiao Gui turns around to look at you, shocked to see you smiling.

“I trust you guys,” you simply tell him, although a little hesitant.

You hear all three of them sigh in relief and Yanchen attacks you with a hug. You freeze a little, but ease into the hug, slowly wrapping your arms around him. You bury your face into his shoulder, taking in his scent.

“Thank you so much,” you hear Yanchen whisper.

---

It’s been a couple of months since you found out and luckily, everything is slowly becoming more and more normal again. The only difference is that they all visit your apartment more often to make sure you’re safe and they occasionally invite you over to their place when they think it’s dangerous.

Currently, you’re at the studio, about to leave after practicing with Yanchen. You happily wave goodbye as the two of you head off to your separate ways. Popping in your earbuds, you quickly make your way back to your apartment.

Finally reaching your room, you take out your keys and push it into the keyhole. However, the door was already unlocked and when you twisted the key, the door flung open by itself. You jumped back, trying to remember if you had left it unlocked this morning when you headed out.

Shaking your head, you slowly make your way into your apartment. The lights were all off, just like you had left them, but even in the dark, you can see that your furniture has been moved. Your clothing had been tossed all over the place, scattered around here and there.

You feel fear begin to choke you and you quickly exit the room, closing the door. You begin to walk to the elevator, dialing Yanchen’s number as you headed back down to the lobby. Yanchen immediately picks up and you finally burst into tears.

“Y/n? What’s up?” Yanchen asks.

“Y-yanchen...I think someone broke into my room,” you sob into the phone.

“Stay right where you are, I’ll pick you up in three,” Yanchen instructs, hanging up after.

You follow Yanchen’s instructions, staying in the corner of the lobby, crying. You only had your backpack and phone with you, but you’re too afraid to go back and get other things. True to his words, Yanchen arrived three minutes later, rushing into the lobby and hugging you as soon as he finds you.

You bury your face in his chest, squeezing your eyes shut. You feel Yanchen gently pat your back in a rhythmic pattern, calming you a little. His warmth helps you relax and you feel the tears stop coming. Yanchen pulls away, taking a peek at you.

“You’re shaking,” he whispers, pulling you back into a hug.

“Oh? I haven’t realized,” you hum, returning the hug.

“Shall we head back to my place then?” Yanchen loops an arm around your waist, leading you out the door.

“Yeah, but I don’t have anything with me,” you mumble, clinging to him.

“It’s alright, I just wanna get you back safely first. I’ll handle everything later,” Yanchen gives you a light squeeze.

You feel a small blush rise to your face and you look down, nodding a bit. Your heart begins beating a little faster.

Yanchen escorts you into the car and after getting into the driver’s seat, he reaches for your hand again, rubbing it comfortingly. He starts up the car and begins to drive away smoothly, one hand still in yours. Smiling a little, you turn to face the window, looking at the people and cars passing by. The street lights are dim, but you can still make out what’s there. Resting your head on the window, you slowly drift off to sleep to Yanchen’s quiet humming, his touch also lulling you.

---

“Y/n, wake up,” a soft voice whispers.

“Hmm, what time is it?” you mumble, eyes still closed.

“Just turned nine in the morning,” the voice sweetly replies.

Your eyes snap open. You recognize the voice. As soon as your vision clears, you see Yanchen’s face barely an inch away. He’s laying on the bed next to you on his side, his head propped up by his hand. The two of you are close enough to kiss.

You can’t help but to stare for a little while, taking in all his soft yet defined features. You feel a blush settling on your cheeks and you quickly sit up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. Yanchen also sits up, placing a hand gently on your back.

“Good morning,” you shyly mumble.

“Morning,” Yanchen chuckles.

The two of you settle into comfortable silence, Yanchen soothingly rubbing your back while you play with his free hand. After a few minutes, Yanchen removes his hands from you and takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry about yesterday,” he looks down, quietly apologizing.

“It’s okay, Yanchen. It wasn’t your fault and you couldn’t have known,” you tilt your head to the side.

“But I shouldn't have left you early that day. I should’ve made sure you went home. I should’ve just ignored Xingjie’s texts--” Yanchen rambles, but is cut off by you wrapping your arms around him.

“It’s okay, Yanchen. I’m fine, okay?” you hum.

“Really? I just don’t want the love of my life to get hurt,” Yanchen mindlessly sighs.

You freeze up, arms tensing around Yanchen. You feel Yanchen also freeze and he slowly, awkwardly peels himself out of your grip. He gets off the bed, avoiding any eye contact.

“Um, I’m going to make breakfast now,” he mumbles, beginning to leave.

However, you grab onto his wrist before he could take another step. You feel Yanchen struggling a little before you stand up and pull him around to face you. Looking up, you stare right into his eyes and you see them dart around before giving in.

“Yanchen, what’d you say?” you ask softly, your gaze firm.

“I said, I’m going to go make some breakfast,” his eyes don’t leave yours.

“No, before that,” you furrow your brows a little.

Yanchen signs and pulls his hand out of yours. You can see the tips of his ears and his cheeks flush. You smile a little, feeling yourself blush as well.

“Can we just forget it? I didn’t know what I was saying,” Yanchen sighs.

“No,” you shake your head, causing Yanchen to look at you shocked.

“What?” he raises an eyebrow.

“B-before that,” you silently curse at yourself for stuttering.

Yanchen looks down, his grip on your hand tightening, “Look, I like you and I have for a while now. I understand if you don’t return my feelings, but please stay. I really can’t bear to see you get hurt.”

“Yanchen,” you slowly pull him closer to you.

You look in his eyes, not daring to blink. You feel his warm, shaky breath on you and your heart beats faster and faster. Without thinking, you lean in and kiss him. Yanchen jumps a little but quickly eases into the kiss.

You feel Yanchen snake his arms around your waist and you loop your arms around his shoulders, pulling the two of you even closer. You instinctively reach up, running your hands through his hair. Feeling Yanchen smile into the kiss, you do as well.

“Yanchen! We found--” the door is slammed open and a loud voice calls out.

You and Yanchen shove each other away. You stumble onto the bed and Yanchen steadies himself on a chair behind him. Both of you look awkwardly at Xiao Gui who has a smirk on his face.

“What,” Yanchen groans, his face becoming redder than before.

“Well, I was going to tell you that Xingjie and I found the guy who broke in, but I guess that can wait,” Xiao Gui snickers before running off.

Yanchen shakes his head and rolls his eyes playfully, slowly making his way back to you again. You giggle, standing up and pulling Yanchen into another hug. You bury your face into his chest and his chin on your head.

“I’ll protect you, okay? We’ve found him already,” Yanchen rubs your back.

“Yeah,” you hum in agreement.

“Trust me, okay?” Yanchen asks, more confidently this time.

~Admin Liz ♡

#I LOVE YANCHEN OK #HE'S THE LITERAL SUN #idol producer #AND HIS TEETH SHINE SO BRIGHT #HIS TEETH ARE BRIGHTER THAN MY FUTURE #idol producer scenarios #idol producer imagines #zhou yanchen #yanchen #yanchen scenarios #yanchen imagines #mafia #mafia au #fluff #angst #requested

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onychaos · 6 years ago

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Hypers Quest 2 beta - 9/16/19

Ah, it's time again. There be a new demo of sorts to try out to see what needs to be fixed, what's broken, what's new, and so on. Anything that is not new, I will sum it up and skip. now we are ready to start.

back to good old..

Ecstatic City Zone. This zone got some nice changes here, they are very minor changes but good ones.

The level layout has changed a bit the empty space have been filled with new stuff and some areas have been changed to make the first level a bit easier so players can play the stage with out hassle

Stage is fine for a first level and like the little changes here. it's great stuff. The bee puns though.

Ok. Skadoosh Zone

This is kinda interesting as this zone has a new changes in the select few areas and a brand new object to carry you from Point A to Point B

In the last update there was a downhill pipe where if you didn't jump off would lead you into a pit, which was kinda unfair for new players since you go so fast but glad it was fixed in the beta

The ending of the stage though is a bit questionable since you would assume that you would be fine but you kinda just die if you don't jump before the thing hits the other one, otherwise you fall and you can't jump or move. But the player has no way of knowing that this can happen. Since there is no real area to use this gimmick in a safe spot.

I feel it would be best to do what Mario does.

1 - Get a new stage object or stage gimmick 2 - Show the player how it works and what it can do where there is no danger of harm 3 - Then allow them to use the stage gimmick where there is a sense of danger if you mess up once they learned it.

The Stage is the same with some minor layout changes but still fun

The other zones and boss are the same from what I went through and those will be skip as there is nothing worth noting there.

Some stages have text boxes where characters will talk about the level or plot but this bring us to the final two areas to talk about which are pretty interesting.

If you find the giant portal when looking for items in the shop, it will take you to a Zero boss fight map screen.

Cyber Network Breakout Demo is the final boss / level of the demo and it's interesting to say. The boss fight has a lot of work to do. So this boss has a simple pattern left to right and right to left.

He can block shots He has a mid air attack that is done after 3 jumps or 4 jumps He has a normal attack he does after a jump

The boss is fine but has some issues and the main one I have is when the boss attacks, the sprite is a hurtbox to the player. Sometimes when he attacks you bounce off his attack just fine.

If you fight him you will need Hyper's Special skill to beat him. I'm not sure if you can beat him any other way beside using a special skill. But once you beat him, the level itself is ok. it's basic and blocky.

Maybe you was going for this, and that's fine but the background animation gives me a headache. It needs to be slowed down cause this is a bit too much for the eyes. it's too busy. Maybe make it more transparent.

The start of the stage is eh. You will need to make a weird low jump or have the Hyper Dash skill to pass the first area.

The Arcade has gotten a update. You can earn prizes so red rings now have a bit more value which is rad to know.

The beta is coming along but for the next demo I think it's best to as much done for a new demo but you know this. This way you can find more bugs to fix later down the line.

The super Sonic in this fan game has a rad theme song and looks nice and plays well.

Speaking of bugs.. I found a few I want to show off

Game bugs

1 - You can overlap the super Sonic theme by turning super again and by pausing after doing as mentioned, all the super themes play at once. A fix: The game is checking to see if you have 50 rings or more which it should see if you are not super and have 50 rings to fix that issue

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nqyqN6GiWkeou8lkPMhFgkdezjmulsZv/view?usp=sharing Lower your volume before watching

2 - Skadoosh Zone stage gimmick bug. It carries you over to a set path before stopping, as long as you don't get hit. If you get hit, you will fly to the end of the stage and you can't jump free while in your hurt state, the object will not destroy itself cause you to skip the stage. see below.

3 - Title Screen spam. If you mash the start button or enter key you will re-trigger the screen fade animation which will keep you on the title screen till you stop You may need a variable that checks to see if enter or start has not been pressed to keep players from doing this.

4. Going back to Skadoosh Zone. There's a weird pipe bug and the no audio bug was not fixed. Here a video of both bugs as mentioned. The pipe bug is where you have no iframes after getting hit

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dhIicce3iOmHxmcfBhtLbDW2XE7n8nXq/view?usp=sharing

5 - No iframes when knocked into a spring which can lead to a cheap death. This bug seems to happen anywhere when the player is in the hurt state but is set to a different state causing you to get no iframes. This is just a guess. I am assuming. I don't know how Game Maker works in terms of coding https://drive.google.com/file/d/1L5C8HxKlwgDlLeC8ymIYu0voZrcOWBu5/view?usp=sharing

6 - The Zero fight. Sometimes when he attacks you are getting hit or you are getting hit while hitting him. Something worth mentioning

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ECzrcclpoMREwjC1riij6mSo0Cx6tCiU/view?usp=sharing

7 - Ecstatic City Zone heroes blocked by invisible walls and a hidden text trigger off frame. Not sure if this is a bug or meant to be this way. If this is not a bug, you can ignore it

8 - You can still grab a Air Bubble when you have a water shield

9 - Super Sonic is missing some animations. :P

10 - Hyper's Animations work fine when facing right but when facing left they are slowed down or just don't work

11 - Not so much bugs but more like glitches

12 - Cyber Network Breakout Demo level and not boss has lasers that fire when you go past them but they only fire once. This may not be a bug but wanted to bring mention to it

I guess it's time for my final thoughts

This Beta demo is interesting, while there are new things here and there and some great changes, The demo kinda feels underwhelming like 1 stage got a bit of makeover at the end and the first stage is kinda new till you leave the starting area.

But the Arcade is great stuff, super sonic is nice and the stage gimmick in Skadoosh Zone is fine but needs work. What do I mean? Well for Super Sonic, the stages don't have Super Sonic in mind. I think if you add in a super state, make sure the levels are build around that fact.

and for the gimmick in Skadoosh Zone, The zone is too small for it. I'm sure you can do some very fun platforming with it but I like the idea. And the Zero Fight needs work but I know it will be fun.

Rough around a few areas but that's progress and that's great. Overall Not too bad, It needs work as stated but I am very proud of the progress here. you have come a long way and keep up the good work, sir.

#hyper quest 2 #sonic the hedgehog #sonic fangame #Hyper's Quest 2: High Voltage #Fangame #my posts #onychaos

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years ago

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i have a feeling that i broke up with him.

i could just be reading it the wrong way but i also kind of thought i read it the wrong way last night.

theres no denying he was upset. he was definitely upset. i asked him outright, “what does all of this mean?” and he replied “i dont know”.

i thought that was strange. i thought if i were in his shoes and i was fed up then this would be the opportunity to break up entirely. i wouldnt say i dont know. i’d be like is it not clear enough. i’m not doing this anymore with you. whatever we are ceases to be now. i asked outright - what does all of this mean. why am i getting this rant. am i getting it because this is your end speech or because you want to rant and get it off your chest.

“i dont know”.

honestly i have done this before. and the last time meant i want to try something different and realize this is better. i dont know is poison and toxic and unfair. i should not be strung along.

he said he wanted to be left alone. he needed space. but im tired of this relationship as it is. i cannot continue this and not seriously damage my soul. he felt i wasnt listening to him, that i was making excuses for my bad attitude that makes him feel bad. that things hadnt changed in two years and he wanted space and then he hung up.

its very hard to gauge whether or not this meant an absolution. like space meant forever and we’d never be together again. this wasnt what was said. this is what i felt was implied. i dont know if im right or wrong because the actual words did not really confirm one way or another.

but this was enough for me. it didnt really matter if he was actually done becaue at that moment i had decided i was done.

and i unleashed a rant that has never been spoken of before by me because it is the number one thing i have kept inside for literally two years. this is “the secret”. this is the thing he has never known or understood to any capacity and has no idea the affect it has on my mental heath.

thats not to say he is at fault for my depression. i made a concious consenting decision to be apart of a relationship i knew was struggling to meet my actual wants and needs in life. i dont know if i ever fully believed that it could but i sincerely wanted it to. like nothing more i wanted was for this to work out an i was willing to live in a more alternative kind of way for him.

but at every single turn, at every single point this was ever brought up it continually dashed my hopes at a legitimate stable future with him. and nothing else was ever openly spoken about. i wa never apart of the conversation. other people were more apart of the future than i was. i was just a fly on the wall. i felt like a fly on the wall, i felt really insignificant and i allowed him to say things to me that were absolutely wrong and disgusting for any person in a relationship to say to someone else.

i acted on pure instinct and let it go; i aske him why he would ask me to follow him. why would he continue a relationship that had no future. why does he say things during sex that dont relate to the actual life i have with him and why doesnt he understand that this has sent mixed messages for two years. why cant he see the ony thing ive consistently said i wanted was a life with someone. i wanted a future with someone. i wanted to be with someone. i wanted a fucking reason to live within my own desires for life. and he never gave me that because all he gave me was money and he doesnt even see whats happening because hes too busy trying to get something back for all the money hes put out. its like he is where he is right now because he has all these arbitrary rules eeryone hs to follow in order to interact with him and their reward is a mediorce friendship where they still hve to follow all the rules to maintain it. its completely unfair when ive given him nothing but love and respect and i just hated myself enough to follow these bullshit rules without saying anything until now.

and then i stopped. it was a blast of seven or so short messages - no long rants or over explaination. just straight forward completely plain and simple. i spent a long time writing 50 pages that in reality didnt sum up what i was able to in these messages but maybe i needed to write 50 pages to be able to sum it up. i bn a way, i didnt even need a response. this was just for me after two years of holding back an sayng nothing - this was an ending for me. i gave him two years of my dedicated love and affection and loyalty and support. this is what i wanted in return. i just needed to say it.

and i wouldve sat on it as that for the next few days. i sat down afterwards upset that i was involved in a conflict at all but not upset about the ending of this era. to be fair to the randomness of life, i wont say its an end to the relationship or a relationship with him because who knows but its certainly an end of this era of keeping this huge secret that affected the entire way the relationship played out. but its not like this really bad secret. its not me trying to harm him. my secret was that i loved him so much i wanted to be with him for 10 - 20 years and i wanted to be in his life and do things with him and become a better person with him and for him and for myself. but i knew he didnt want that. he said it multiple times. but we stil ended up at two years in a solid relationship together. a solid relationship tht had literally no future from the moment it started. and that’s really, really hard. i blame neither of us. we were really excellent to each other in this relationship by most standards. we had very little complaints about each other and the ones we had kind of remained consistent from the time we met each other. and neither of us changed these traits. but how do you give p something that kind of does work for the most part? like my laptop is pretty shit but im not tring to throw it out because it still works in most aspects. it just has some quirks that piss me off.

but non-commitment is not a quirk. its a really big deal. its a really big deal to put two years of your life into someone and not see a future or want a future with them throughout the whole thing.

i figured he wouldnt reply at all. a few hours went by before he replied “im sorry. i guess we’ll see if the future will prove your theory” and then “good night. you do not get to harass me because you’re upset.”

at the time i quickly read this as a sort of passive aggressiveness. like “oh, i’mmmm sorrrrryyy you feel this way but whatever fuck you.” i got angry again. i didnt know why he was replying and why this reply was so ambiguous and mentioned nothing in regards to what i said. why reply at all? two hours later? about harassing him? that really makes no sense when i sent an appropriate number of messages nd then stopped within probaby less than fifteen minutes. it wasnt like i spammed him with non sense, i simply texted in a way i would anyone else and didnt stick to his format of how to text him. but again - why reply at all?

i told him if he wanted to belittle my actual thoughts to just me harassing him thats up to him but i was good on talking to him tonight. he replied, “i dont want to speak anymore.”

to which i replied of course because ive pulled the blanket off of this whole thing. he knows that i know that this is bullshit, he knows that i want more and have said i wanted more and hes continued to act the way he does and say the things he does with nothing behind it. of course he doesnt want to speak anymore to answer to any of this. hes too insecure to admit that he had a hand in the failure of this and wants to blame it on me.

i stopped after ten minutes or so. its not like constant messages ten minutes straight but it took me ten minutes to fully type out and send the three or four messages it took to express myself. it wasnt like an hour of my time dedicated to doing this.

but then i kind of read back on it. and it is ambiguous. its very much still in the lines of “i dont know.” because he chose not to attack me or what i said. he could decide he just oesnt have the time to care about it anymore. that hes not going to dignify it with a response. but why acknowledge it. why say something like “im sorry.”. was he sarcastically replying like lets see if youre right and if so - how does that apply to what i actually said? is that in regards to the idea that i believe what i need is having someone in my life? i didnt really insult him - the worst i said was about his arbitrary rules.

and “i dont want to speak anymore”. i sound crazy because he makes people sound crazy on purpose. but ive explained it that i know im being played, i know this is a game and i never want to play it again, ever. i’m ending the game once and for all - either the game stops and we have a future together or the game stops and we dont. either way the game is stopping. he did not say “i dont want to speak to YOU anymore”. it souns crazy. it sounds like im reading into it but i have not been wrong before. and this is not because i want to be with him as is. i dont. my assumption is things are not changing and this is the end times or i would not have said what i said. i would PREFER closure. i would much rather have him outright say “i cannot have a life with you, i dont see myself with you in the future, i may or may not love you but i am going to live a different life.”

and to be fair, i deserve that closure.

“im sorry. only the future can prove your theory”

“good night. you do not get to harass me because youre upset”

“i dont want to speak anymore.”

the only thing he neede to say was “i’m done. i’m no longer going to be apart of this. no relationship, no future.”

what is my theory? my theory is that he had no plans for me in his future. that he has never truly had plans and hs never spoken openly about having a future with me but he’s been more than capable of making future plans with others. and a good portion of the reason why he refuses to make any plans is due to not following his arbitrary rules to be his friend. thats my theory. hes depressed because he puts these rules on every single person in his life and ive hated myself eough to follow them knowing it was outlandish. but when you dont follow the rules its a real insult to him an you dont care and youre being inconsiderate of him and what he wants in this.

my theory is that im extremely unhappy doing this. im extremely unhappy getting money without love. without a future. he truly made this into a 2 year prostitution. and he somehow sells this to me as him just feeling bad you know. he felt too bad to do it because things always come up and he cant talk about being upset. so two years of prostitution was a much better solution.

so how can the future prove this theory? how can it prove that he had no plans for me in his future? that cannot be proven unless you DO have plans. unless i am actually apart of the plans. to apologize is to acknowledge that im not wrong. that what im saying is true belief and that i didnt pull this out of my ass and im not making an excuse for it. i was sold, continually, on something that was never provided. empty things were said. this is truly heartbreaking. to say im sorry is to say that im not wrong to feel this way.

of course he feels “harassed”. its all he can do in response to this. hes not going to get into it now - he cant just fall back on how he feels about my attitude and hes not secure enough to take his part of the blame. he has to tell me im harassing him, that he believes im upset.

and its so easy to read “im not speaking anymore” as a fuck you. it really is. but when you put it into this context - that i attacked him, that i’m now clearly incredibly upset about something that is very much of a reality in our relationship and has been for a long time - to say “i dont want to speak anymore” could very well be more like “im not going to speak anymore”. that he knows im upset and hes not going to fuel it any further. that he knows hes gotten himself into this by talking a lot of shit before this so speaking even more isnt going to solve it.

but by all means i could be wrong. i could be completely wrong and its just me assuming we’re still in this game when he’s already left it. i dont know. we love each other a lot, i honestly believe that, and neither of us has done anything at all to eachother in two years that was malicious or mean. everything that comes up is in regards to how someone is dealing with whatever is going on. we dont have bad feelings about each other.

since it was my birthday i ignored his rules further and sent a final three messages before midnight. i think as my anger subsided from being attacked, i began to realize that he might not have been as on the defensive as i believed him to be. so i softened a bit - not that i wanted to “get him back”. i dont really want him as is. i love him but fuck man its tooooo painful. instead i just explained much more calmly that i was really disappointed and heartbroken and all i ever told him was that i wanted a family and to share a life with someone. i screamed this at him because its all i want in life and i live in a way with him where its dangled in front of me all the time but its not actually there and it kills me because i love him and i want to be with him and i want to have that life with him and i dont need luxuries and i would follow him. but this has weighed so heavily on my depression when my depression is feeling alone and isolated in the world. i could have put the effort into someone who wouldnt leave me in two years because im frustrated they dont really want to be with me but are still fucking with me. you couldve let me find happiness somewhere else but you didnt.

i told him i would never think of him as a bad guy or abusive. i dont think is shittier traits equate abuse. i would never sell that idea to anyone else so i can be more of a victim or something. he wasnt a bad guy and he certainly was not abusive. but he can be controlling and manipulative. these are not star qualities and do as much damage as someone having to cre for someone else with depression. i think we are both equally responsible for the hurt in this relationship but i have no resentment or feeling of needing to be vindicated. i took responsibility for my own actions - not speaking up sooner or being more straight forward when this was affecting pretty much everything.

this morning i woke up feeling uneasy. i realize now its because i didnt get closure. it wasnt a real breakup. i didnt have any plans to get my stuff back. i have his skates and his mothers skates. he has extremely sentimental items to me that are only there because of an empty promise he made and never fulfilled. the game continues. he knows my part of the game is to return everything. he knows i want a clean break. i want to be told “im not doing this anymore, i will drop off your things at such and such time and im not interested in having further discussions with you about the relationship”. the return of things is a sign of respect and also not to further the issue along. i dont want to see you in a month to collect shit from a former relationship. i want to come tomorrow, get my shit and forget you exist. im doing yu the same favor. why prolong it.

so i decied to make the super extreme cold trek to his house but it was good. i really needed to take a walk and get fresh air and it was super cold but i didnt freeze. i collected some of the things i borrowed from him but i returned some thngs that were kind of just momentos of the relationship. and that was my own manipulation tactic. i really want to double down on the fact that in my mind he has already ended the relationship and i am sooo hurt and feel sooo badly/strongly about the whole thing. i returned a picture. ive kept the picture for almost the whole relationshp through various moves. ive lost keys and wallets and cellphones in the time of having this picture and its a really nice picture of us but man is it painful as fuck to look at it. i certainly dont want it when this relationship was built on a two year farce.

i returned flowers - which is funny but dried flowers i kept when he bought me flowers. because in such manipulation tactic i want him to know that he and this was of such importance to me that i kept dried flowers he bought me. i returned something he never owned or even bought or would maybe even understand why i would give it to him. i bought / made a necklace over christmas that had our birthstones in it. i dont know why. it was like the one hopeless romantic thing ive done in my life. i returned that because im pissed. he literally had no idea probaby that this necklace existed. but im pissed and the only gesture appropriate eough to express the level of heartbroken anger i have is to return a necklace i made that he didnt even know existed. its not even returning. i gave him a necklace. i gave him back a book i borrowed from him like.. three months into dating. i returned the last sweater i borrowed that i have in my possession.

as a whole this symbolizes that at this moment, i no longer have things to return. i am not keeping things as a romantic gesture. i am literally giving him everything back. his mind, his peace, his material posessions and the “love” that he’s provided to me. i am giving him back, with all of these things, the piece of his heart he gave to me. it was very small but im really just going to return it as unharmed as possible.

but i shifted control and put the ball back in his court. i was “expected” to “give him space”. i always am. but i can give you space forever if you just return my things, you know? like dont let me sit here wondering when the guy who refuses to alk to me might give me one of the few posessions i have thats a family relic. thats really fucked up. you can end it completely and have all of the space in the world. and he’ll make excuses either way - he’ll bide time until he wants to deal with it because he can do what he wants or he’ll bide time to let everything simmer down to try and reignite something.

i messaged him a final time - well for me at least, for the next day or so. i personally really honestly got everything out i would need or want to say to him. i have no more questions. this is it. this is the most IT of all the things. everthing else is meaningless. i even went to insult him our of pure anger and in anger deleted it because thats not even my problem. i dont need to insult him to make him feel bad my objective is not to make him feel bad but for him to fucking understand once and for all that he ignored every single request i ever made for what i actually needed to feel content in my life. he took up space that someone else could have been in that actually wanted to be with me long term. and to what end? that was my question. TO WHAT END DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN? WHY? why would someone put themselves through this with zero commitment and then become frustrated after playing like they were committed for two years? you cannot brush off ther seriousness of it being so long now. its not a fling. we both made choices. i am telling you why i made mine. i am telling you that i “knew” you were not going to give me what i want and i continued to consent to being in a relationship with no fucking future because i loved you. why the fuck did you do it when you werent getting what you fully wanted either? was this all just a game? a way to pass the time? an inconvient time? did he just pity me? did he use me? why did we go an entire two years when my depression caused by feeling isolated and unloved because i lived on the sidelines of the life of a person i spent the majority of my time with was making me feel sooo jaded and bitter at times that i sat completely frustrated or got into arguments where im sobbing about wanting a family like an after school special? i KNOW thats stressful. i GET IT. but WHAT ABOUT THE CAUSE? im not just freaking out to freak out. all these little things throw into question any legitimacy of a fuuture with him and hes spent two months talking about leaving and im not even remotely involved and he wonders why i have a bad attitude towards him? he wonders why i wont take his advice outright? all you’re doing is telling me whats wrong with me and leaving. you’re essentially a troll. the only way your words have any true impact is if you’re apart of my actual life. not right now. not just in the now the current day. but my lifetime, like a legitimate care and deep understanding of who i am and what ive been through with an unconditional love and forgiveness for failures and missteps. you want me to become better because you want to watch me become better, you want to see me alleviate my suffering, not because you’re scared and feel obligated like i’m a homeless person sitting on your front step.

this is all i want to know. and i may not get an exact answer as to why it happened. but i will get an exact answer to whether he believed/s there was/is a future together for us. ive made it so easy not to commit in any certain way. but now it cannot continue in any fashion without a commitment to a future. i dont want to be on my life journey with someone whos not even sure if theyll be there. like every corner they might take another road. thats so much instability its weighed so fucking heavy on me like the only thing i want is this and its not happening.

if he replies to my message today or makes an effort to return my things today then i know hes moving forward without me. it means hes definitely not dealing any further and hes removing all reason to contact him further. if he does not contact me today it means that all of this is so heavy and so painful for him that he cannot deal and hes not sure what he wants or how he wants to deal with it so hes not going to touch it right now. it means hes not ready to remove reason to contact him. he wants the chance to keep this going to a point where he can make a decision.

i made it very clear i just wanted the sentimental items. this is what would weigh on me the most from here and they were very important. i manipulatively mentioned that i had not cheated on him or called the cops on him for no reason to further distance myself from the idea that i was somehow like his exs. seriously. i am sad because i am isolated. i am isolated because of him. without him i would meet new and different people who may or may not help me further my life but he has made even new friendships hard on me. he wanted all of my attention and love and care and i wanted to give it to him and then he wouldnt want it but then want it again and im just so tired. im not a bad person. im fucking sad and lonely. i could be fulfilled by him but he wont give it to me.

i told him we could have a conversation if he wanted to but my assumption woul be that he did not want to. i was giving him the option to be peaceful about it. to just end it copacetically so we could hide and lick our wounds seperately in private. his silence would speak so much more to me than words in this situation because i would know he was very much done. but im not going to shut down communication. im going to leave it open for him and let him know that he still has the door shut on his side.

if he doesnt message me back today im going to message him again tomorrow and essentially repeat that i would like to make a plan to have this returned to me asap. and that im also still genuinely just hurt but have no reason myself to continue trying to make something out of this that was never going to be. hes had two years to decide if he would want me in his future, it shouldnt take longer than two days to reply to ending it.

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