#I’m iffy about the second drawing set but I did it a few days back to try and help get myself out of an art hole I was in

[doctorsiren]

Shape stuff as warmups / practice

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

hiii~✨hope you’re having a good day/night !!can you do taeyong with a praise kink? you can add whatever else you think would fit cus i’m not good at coming up with that lolz. btw i love you’re writing it’s so good

Awww thank you bby 🥺💖 And thank you for the request! I hope you like it!

⚠️Warnings⚠️: sub!Taeyong, fem!dom!reader, pegging, praise kink, fingering (male recieving), he also rides you, but that's really the pegging part.

Good Boy

You cheered loudly with the rest of the NCTzens as NCT 127 finished their stage for Kick It. After they left the stage, you were led by a security guard to meet them in their dressing room. The NCTzens that noticed you leaving waved to you and asked you to tell the boys what a good job they had done tonight. You smiled and waved back at the friendly fans, blowing kisses jokingly every once in a while.

     You and your loving boyfriend, Taeyong, had gone public about 7 months ago after a year of dating. It took a hell of a lot of convincing for SM to be alright with it but they let you do it after seeing how dedicated both of you were to your relationship and realized you two wouldn't be breaking up anytime soon. The fans were a little iffy about you at first, thinking you were doing it for publicity or money, but after seeing you in so many VLives with him and seeing how genuinely happy both of you were, most of them started supporting you. Of course there were those people who sent hate, claiming you were taking their precious Taeyong away from them, but they don't really bother you that much.

     You knocked on the door to their changing room and waited for an okay to go in. It was a changing room after all, and you were sure they wouldn't want you walking in on them changing. It had accidentally happened once and you didn't want it to happen again. You heard shuffling in the room and a second later Donghyuk cracked the door open to see who it was. A smile immediately lit up his face as he saw you standing outside the door.

     "NOONA!" He yelled happily before jumping into your arms and hugging you like a koala bear, making you wrap your arms around his waist to hold him up with a laugh.

     "Hello to you too!" After standing still for a few moments to see if he would let go, you just decided to walk into the room and kick the door closed behind you with a laugh as he continued to hold onto you. You heard the other members laugh before someone walked over to you.

     "Donghyuk, let go of her! Other people want to hug her too!" Johnny said through light chuckles. You felt Donghyuk's lips pout against your neck before unwrapping his legs from your waist and sulking to the couch. All of the boys were changed out of their performing clothes and were working on getting out of their make-up. You waved to everyone else before greeting your boyfriend with a kiss. A few of the boys teasingly 'oooOOOooh'ed while Mark, Johnny, and Haechan made gagging noises from behind you. You rolled your eyes as you pulled away from Taeyong. He chuckled at their antics with red ears before giving you a light kiss on the cheek.

     "Hey baby. Did you enjoy the show?" He asked, looking up at you from his seat as his make-up artists removed his make-up. 

     "Of course I did, you all did amazing! A few NCTzens I passed on my way here wanted me to tell you they all loved your performance." You told them as you smiled at Taeyong through the mirror. Your boyfriend smiled brightly and the rest of the boys 'whoop'ed and cheered for themselves.

     "I was your favorite though, right?" Taeyong said as he leaned his head back to look up at you once his make-up was removed. You teasingly hissed in uncertainty.

     "Ooh, I don't know. Jaehyun did look pretty good tonight." You heard Jaehyun laugh from his seat before sexily pushing his hair back and winking at you with a dorky smile through the mirror. Taeyong pouted with a whine and tugged at your sleeve to bring your attention back to him. You laughed loudly and leaned down to give him a kiss.

     "I'm just kidding, baby, you know you're always my favorite." He looked up at you with his puppy-like smile that made your heart melt. You heard Donghyuk gag behind you, making the other members laugh.

     "I'm heading out, I think I might get cavities if I stay around here any longer."

     "Yeah, come on guys. I think we should leave the lovebirds alone." Johnny agreed as he looked back at you and Taeyong, wiggling his eyebrows from the door. You rolled your eyes as the rest of the boys filed out of the room. You let out a laugh as you felt your boyfriend wrap his arms around your waist and bury his burning red face in your shoulder. You turned and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. You picked up your phone to check the time, not too surprised to see how late it was.

     "It's getting pretty late, we might need to get going if I'm gonna have enough time to drop you off at the dorms." Your boyfriend pouted at you and moved his arms to loosely wrap around your shoulders.

     "I kinda wanted to go to your place. I haven't seen you in a while so I was thinking we could have a little movie marathon." You looked to one of the make-up artists to make sure it was alright. She nodded before she finished packing up and waited for you two to leave so she could lock up. You turned and smiled at him.

     "Alright, let's go." He smiled, grabbed your hand, and started dragging you to your car, running like an over excited puppy. You giggled as you finally reached your car and started the drive to your house. You both blasted music, screaming the lyrics as you pulled up in your driveway. He got out of the car first and bounded up to the door in excitement. You looked him up and down, finally taking in what he was wearing as you walked to the door.

     He was wearing a loose button-up shirt that hung low enough to show off his collarbones that was half tucked into his pants. The ripped black skinny jeans he was wearing were your favorite because they hugged his ass perfectly. The holes were all along the front, with bigger holes towards the top, showing off his perfectly tanned thighs. The innocent smile on his face as he waited for you at the door made you want to turn him into a moaning mess beneath you.

     "Hurry uuuup." He whined out, snapping you out of your trance. You licked your lips before picking up your pace and unlocking the door. Before he could run to the living room to set up a movie, you closed the door and pulled him closer to you by the waist with his back still facing you.

     "Hold up baby. I was thinking, maybe instead of watching a movie, we could do something more… fun." Taeyong shivered against you as you pulled his hips towards you, grinding your hips into his ass. He gulped as you leaned up to suck and kiss at his exposed neck.

     "F-fun?"

     "Of course baby. You've been such a good boy lately and I think you deserve a reward for it, don't you?" He whimpered and grinded back against you as you praised him.

     "Y-yes. I-I've been a good boy. Mommy's good little boy." He whined out as he continued to roll his ass against you at a faster pace and tilted his head to give you more room on his neck. You smirked and guided him into the bedroom, closing the door behind you.

     "Strip." He almost ripped his shirt off before moving to quickly kick off his pants while you reached under the bed to grab your strap-on and lube after stripping yourself. He was bare naked and laying in the center of the bed by the time you retrieved your toy. He shivered and whined at the sight of the strap in your hands. You quickly settled yourself between his legs and moved to kiss him as you leaned over him. You moved down to leave more marks on his neck and collarbones before pouring lube onto your fingers and pushing them into his hole. He whimpered and clung to your shoulders at the pleasure he felt from your fingers inside of him. He pushed his hips back to meet your hand as you sped up the pace of your fingers. You smirked against his neck at the submissive noises he was letting out.

     "You look so pretty like this baby; with my fingers pounding into you. Do you like mommy pounding into you like this babyboy?" He moaned louder at your question and nodded frantically.

     "Use your words baby."

     "Y-yes! Love mommy's fingers inside of me! A-ha." His eyes rolled back in his head when you started stroking his dick at the same pace your fingers were moving in and out of him.

     "F-fuck, mommy! Please move faster, p-please!" He whined as he moved his hips to meet your hands as they continued to pleasure him. Another moan ripped out of him as you sped up your hands movements. He continued to thrust and buck up into your hands with his beautiful cries of pleasure. You groaned against his throat.

     "Fuck, baby. You sound so beautiful. Scream louder, let mommy hear how good she's making you feel." He squeezed his eyes shut and moaned louder at your command.

     "S-shit- ngh- mommy! 'M gonna cum! F-fuck! Please let me cum mama!!" He cried out as his thighs squeezed around your waist.

     "Go ahead baby, cum for mommy like a good boy." He whined and whimpered before cumming in your hand and all over his stomach with a loud moan. You moved your hand up to your mouth, licking his seed up before doing the same to his stomach. His breathing picked up again and you felt his abs tense under your tongue. His dick twitched against his stomach at the sound of you adjusting the harness of the strap-on you now had hanging securely on your waist.

     "Do you want mommy to fuck you with this baby? Wanna cum for mommy a second time?" He whimpered and nodded as he felt the tip of the didlo enter his ass.

     "F-fuck, yes. Please mommy." He mumbled out as he looked up at you with his irresistible puppy dog eyes. You quickly thrusted your hips to meet his, making him moan loudly against your shoulder as his hands roamed your back. You smirked before flipping over so Taeyong was sitting up on your strap. He bit his swollen bottom lip, almost drawing blood as the dildo pushed further into him, barely hitting his prostate. He tightly reached up and gripped your shoulders as he started bouncing on your fake cock.

     "F-fuck, fuck, fuck, f-fuck!! Feels s-so fucking good!" He whimpered out in between high pitched moans as he started bouncing faster after finding his prostate. You bit your lips as you looked up at him, his head thrown back in pleasure as he rode you. He brought one of his hands up to start playing with his nipples, making him moan louder.

     "Fuck baby, you look so goddamn perfect like this. Mommy's pretty little boy." He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered at your words.

     "Th-thank- fuck!- Thank you m-mommy! Ngh-ah!!" After a few minutes, he started slowing down as his legs started getting tired. You harshly grabbed his hips and played your feet in the mattress, fucking up into him as hard as you could. His mouth fell open and his eyes rolled back in his head in pleasure.

     "A-HA! NGH-Fuck! Mommy!! AH! Gonna cum!! P-please let me cum, please!! I've been s-such a good boy- the b-best boy for you!!" You groaned at his words and started leaving more hickeys down his chest.

     "Cum for me baby, cum for mommy. You always look so pretty when you cum baby." With one last moan, he came all over his stomach and both of your chests. He shakily climbed off your strap after a few more thrusts and leaned down to lick his cum off your chest. After he finished he continued down and removed your strap-on before burying his face between your thighs. Your hand shot to his hair as you felt him start to lick at your clit.

     "F-fuck, baby, you don't have to do anything for me, I'll be alright." He looked up at you through his eyelashes and gave you a precious, innocent smile.

     "I know, I just wanna make mama feel good." You groaned and rolled your head back into the soft pillows as Taeyong moved back down to suck and lick your clit with enthusiasm.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Gonna make full use of my ‘comic rant’ tag and roast Future State: Superwoman.

Spoilers! And yelling! Of the disgruntled kind!

So a few things at the start here: 1.) I wanted to love this book. I wanted it to be great. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt, in spite of some iffy stuff in the solicit text. So this rant is not coming from a place of having decided this was going to be awful ahead of time. 2.) My tolerance for bad Supergirl comics is pretty high! Takes a lot for me to actually come out and say that a particular issue is trash. Reader: This story is trash.

It’s not ‘middle-aged white guys writing/drawing a story about sending a minor to a potentially hostile planet fully nude’ trash, mind you. It’s the compost bin, rather than the landfill. Slightly nicer trash, but it still stinks to high heaven. Allow me to expand!

PROLOGUE - SUMMARY: ...I actually can’t summarize this comic b/c it would devolve into a lot of senseless yelling. We’ll just have to tease out this terrible plot as we go along. 

PART I - DEAD DOGS TELL BAD TALES: The comic opens with Kara standing at Krypto’s grave. That’s not why this comic is trash, but it bears mentioning. Because why. Why would you do this. 

PART II - IN WHICH IT ONLY GETS WORSE: So, Kara has a running inner monologue, and the main thing we gather from Kara’s thoughts is that it was Krypto who taught her to be a hero. On paper, that sounds very sweet! In practice, it reads as Kara having no moral center whatsoever—whatever good qualities she might possess, she did not learn from her parents, or her foster parents, or friends, or fellow heroes. Nor do they come from within Kara herself. Nope, t’was Krypto who taught Kara not to be a jealous rage monster. That is not hyperbole--Kara’s walking around angry about her cousin all the time and she’s like, ‘It was you, Krypto, who taught me not to judge, and to let go of anger.’ Listen, I love Krypto, but this? This is, as the youth would say, a bad look.

PART III - THOSE CERTAINLY ARE...SOME THEMES: The set-up here is that Kara is on the moon, and has established a sanctuary for alien refugees. That’s a dynamite idea! I love that! Buuuuut Kara didn’t look at the plight of alien refugees and say, ‘I want to help!’ Really, she didn’t even look at herself and say, ‘I don’t want others to feel like I’ve felt.’ No, she said, ‘Earth won’t accept me as a hero, and Clark didn’t name me protector of Earth, so. I’m out!’ (Honestly, if your moral compass is so whack that you need a dog to walk you back from Hulk-Smashing...can’t say I blame Clark for not picking you, Kara!) But apparently, the people on the moon don’t really like her either. And it is literally never explained why. There’s a whole montage of Kara fixing stuff and saving lives and all the moon folk just glare at her. This makes both the moon people AND Kara look like a**holes, because they come across as ungrateful, and she comes across as a glory hound. Thanks! I hate it! So the ‘peace’ Kara’s found on the moon isn’t really peaceful at all, cause she still resents her cousin, and people still don’t like her, in spite of the fact that she’s constantly performing acts of service for them. 

Also, side note, I’m just now realizing this is an entire population of alien refugees...and Kara is somehow still the odd one out. Like, Earth I get, because everyone else is a human and maybe freaked out by the super powers. But a bunch of aliens? WHY. Why did you do this. Why did this need to be set on the moon with alien refugees if you’re not going to interrogate Kara’s identity as an alien refugee herself AND all of the aliens are inexplicably humanoid in appearance and utterly ordinary in terms of power levels.  

Like. This is not the CW show, where they have a budget, and a huge ensemble cast to serve. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. AAARRRRRGHHHH.

PART III CONT’D: There’s also this weird ‘birthright’ element introduced...like, Clark and Jon stole Kara’s ‘right’ to be earth’s defender which is...a terrible reading of Kara’s modern origin. It brings in the idea that Kara is a ‘chosen one’ and because she didn’t get to be that chosen one, all of her hero work is for nothing. Never mind the whole central conceit of what makes Clark and Kara heroic...that they have this incredible power, and choose to do good with it. Nah...it’s all about her ‘right’ to protect the people of Earth! And mean ol’ Clark took that away! THANKS. I HATE IT. 

PART IV - A POOR USE OF SPACE: So, all of the Future State books kind of struggle with the issue of too much exposition, which is understandable. They have to introduce an entirely new status quo in a very limited amount of literal page space, so you *really* have to have a handle on how you allocate your time and focus.  

Introducing a brand new, lore-heavy heroic character who gets all of the development and dynamic art and pulls focus away from the character you’re meant to be writing is a bad use of a two issue limited series.

Like, this is a crappy Supergirl comic but it’s a great backdoor pilot for a Lynari ongoing, I guess. 

Imagine if in the Jon Superman book, they introduced a random, brand new best friend for Jon, and he got the big character arc instead of Jon. That’s something you save for an arc in an ongoing title, NOT A TWO ISSUE EVENT COMIC.  

Back to said new character, there’s a lot of forced attempts to parallel Kara and Lynari, but Lynari’s backstory is so confusing, rushed, and poorly explained that it’s like: okay, they’re both...angry? And the moon jerks hate them? ...uh. Okay.

(I’m gonna bring back my ‘why is this set on the moon, even’ question so that my ‘poor use of space’ header becomes a better joke.) 

PART V - I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO...B/C THERE SURE AIN’T ONE HERE: I’ve already mentioned that Krypto was apparently Kara’s conscience so when Lynari’s aunt arrives to...kill them? (again, everything about Lynari’s backstory is rushed and poorly explained) Kara gets real mad and basically pulls a Gothel: ‘You want me to be the bad guy? Fine! Now I’m the bad guy.’ But thank goodness Lynari is there to tell Kara no! Don’t murder the giant aunt eel! Lynari then steals Kara’s powers and gives up the swamp jewel that’s been hidden inside their body and now their aunt is less murder-y!

WOW. Couldn’t even give the big damn hero moment to Kara in her own book, huh?

So the day is saved. It takes Kara a while to regain her powers, and it’s only then, when she’s no longer ‘above’ the moon jerks, that they’re like, ‘oh, we like her!’ There is a bit of narration about how that attitude is awful. But that narration is provided by Lynari. See, the inner monologue is no longer Kara’s thoughts, but rather it has switched to Lynari’s point of view. They’re telling us this story. And do you know why?

PART VI - WHY THIS COMIC *SUCKS*: KARA DIES. SHE’S THE FRIGGIN’ ‘SECOND GRAVE’ OF THE TITULAR ‘TWO GRAVES’

Fudge this comic to heck.

See, Kara dies on the moon, presumably of old age. She’s buried next to Krypto. And this random character who we’re suddenly supposed to care about tells us her story. Not Clark. Not the Danvers. Not Brainy. Not even one of the supporting cast members from her solo title. No one from Kara’s life is mentioned at all, save for Jon and Clark, and they’re pretty much relegated to flashbacks of Kara punching them. 

PART VII - TIME TO COMPARE DEATHS, I GUESS: First and foremost can I just say that I hate that’s a sentence that I’m typing about Kara in the year of our lord, 2021. But okay: Kara’s big famous death in Crisis stopped the entire DC universe cold. Everyone paused in the middle of the destruction of the multiverse to mourn her loss and honor her (GENUINELY HEROIC) sacrifice. Clark and Barbara--two established characters with a strong connection/relationship to Kara--offered lovely eulogies. 

This one: Kara gets to die of old age in obscurity after a lifetime of striving to be recognized and only achieving it by de-powering and serving a population of jerks. 

Not the warm and fuzzy ending you think it is!

(Meanwhile, Clark lives for millennia and spawns an entire dynasty of Els, all of ‘em out there, protecting the cosmos. I was looking forward to House of El in the hopes of maybe seeing some Kara stuff but NOPE. Thanks to Superwoman, we’re probably not gonna see any future Kara stuff beyond this! G R E A T)

And like, the argument could be made that this ending makes Kara happy. This is the life she chooses! She wants to be alone and garden on the moon! Except, we get zero insight from Kara regarding the remainder of her life. We only have Lynari’s narration and some montage shots...nearly all of which focus on other characters. But honestly, even if we did get Kara’s side of things, I doubt it would shed much light on her feelings, bEEECAUSE...

PART VIII - SUPER BLAND: This Kara really has no personality outside of ‘detached and vaguely bitter.’ I like Sauvage, I think she’s an incredibly talented artist, but here, Kara is stiff and her expression often reads as aloof. She’s very pretty, but it comes at the expense of being expressive. (And I know Sauvage can do expressive stuff...because Lyanari gets to be expressive.) Like...I love that shojo manga vibe but this is a Kara devoid of spark and warmth. 

...Like...Melissa Benoist’s portrayal of Kara is right there... 

I’ve already sort of touched on this but her inner monologue doesn’t have much personality either. She’s just parroting the same, ‘I need to do as Krypto taught me!’ nonsense for both issues. Until, of course, we shift to Lynari’s narration, and lose Kara’s thread entirely. 

PART IX - LET’S WRAP THIS UP: This book frustrates me to no end because it had a lot of stuff going for it. It’s got a female writer and artist--still a rarity for the Supergirl book--it’s a limited series mostly free of continuity and character baggage, and it’s not tied down to the grimdark cyberpunk stuff happening in the Gotham books. YOU COULD’VE DONE ANYTHING. And, once again, DC goes with a pitch that’s: Kara is angry, Kara resents Clark...and Kara dies.

It’s also happening...right as Kara has no dedicated ongoing title, the movie’s been shelved, the TV show is entering its sixth and final season, and all promotion has shifted to new CW and HBO shows. 

*screams into the void* 

MAAAAAAN I hate this book. I hate that it retroactively makes me hate the Andreyko run a little bit--a run that I took to be about a traumatized young woman forced to confront her grief, and who leans on a beloved animal companion for comfort. Here, Krypto is L I T E R A L L Y the reason Kara’s not constantly frying folks with her heat vision. 

I hate that this book has made me use the word ‘literally’ so much in this rant.

I hate that this could possibly be more in continuity than Millennium.

Remember Millennium? Where Kara was in like...five pages? And she was warm, and kind, and promised to help Rose because it was the right thing to do, and oh yes, WAS PRESIDENT OF EARTH?!??! AND A CLASSY OLD LADY!?!?!?!?! WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AND KICKIN’ IN THE FAR FLUNG FUTURE!?!?!?!?!

I hate that I’m using my lunch hour to rant about how much I hate this comic.  

I hate that DC editorial seems hell-bent on erasing the interesting aspects of Kara’s character to sand her down to ‘the angry one’ or ‘Batman 2.0′

PART X - LET’S END ON SOME (?) POSITIVES: Don’t read this book! Don’t do it! Don’t waste your time and money!

Instead, check out ANYTHING ELSE. If you want mom!Kara, read Tom Taylor’s ‘Last Daughters of Krypton’ in the DC Nuclear Winter special. If you want heroic oldlady!Kara, read Millennium. Honestly? Pick up anything by Bendis that has Supergirl in it. It is miles away better than this. You want angry Kara working through her grief? Andreyko, Red Lantern, even Infected. ANYTHING BUT THIS. HECK, grab Superman of Metropolis instead! That has bad Kara characterization but at least she doesn’t end up dead. 

Anyways. This comic is bad. I wish it wasn’t! And this is now the SECOND TIME IN A ROW that Kara’s book ends on a terrible note before the character disappears from monthly comics for an unknown period of time.  

*screams into the void again*

[ranishoo]

part 8 it takes Vex a couple days to heal and he's almost completely silent the entire time, Arya grew attached to Kaerou quickly and has been awkwardly making them all spend time together and tensions are high, meanwhile Syl is digging for information, some offhand deals and pi work finding a trail of arcane energy leading to a rich noblemans house that matches Liuvo, and they plan their attack. Vex is still injured and is told to hang back as much as possible to avoid irritating his wounds knowing there was no way to keep him from coming, so Arya is left to break them in, but on the way Vex starts feeling ill, then faint, having visions of a man in his position, someone he loved taken from him and held hostage, and the rage he felt that made it almost impossible to breath and falling to his knees. He blacks out for just a moment, but the life of this unfamiliar man flashing before his eyes, almost all memories centered around another man whose face was always obscured and voice distorted. Kaerou snaps him out of it, insisting he go back to rest but he refuses and carries on (Here Before by Vashti Burnyan)

They stay undiscovered until getting to the master bedroom, finding Liuvo dressed up and sitting like a doll before the doors close behind them Liuvo getting up in jerking motions as if being puppeted, drawing his scythe and lunging at them. Arya can see the magic strings controlling him and has everyone distract Liuvo while he severs them, but Vex is having the most trouble dodging him and refuses to fight back, refusing to kill someone he cares about again like he had his mentor, and Liuvo manages to slash him across the stomach, a deep cut and reopening his previous wound, he takes the opportunity to grab Liuvo and twist his arms behind his back and restraining him while Arya cuts the rest of the strings, slowly bleeding out. (Mine - MAKKU)

forgot you sent this and hey bud what the FUCK

so I'm still working on what happens after Leslie burns the lab to the ground, so a lot of this info is iffy and might change a bit, but afterwards she struggles with a deep depression and guilt by herself for several months.

one thing I should probably mention but never did bc I didn't think I'd be getting this in depth about Leslie is that she and Delvon have a psychic link (this is relevant I swear). during her first year in the past she managed to get herself into a magically induced coma and the only way Delvon could get her out was to enter her dream himself, which was only possible by permanently linking their minds through a process called tethering. that would mean for the rest of their lives they'd be able to hear the other's thoughts, feel their emotions, pain, share their dreams, literally everything. he knew he was overstepping boundaries in doing this, but if he didn't she would likely die in her sleep. so he did it, and both of them felt immense guilt for it, him for forcing this situation on her and her for driving him to the point where he felt he needed to lose his independence and privacy for her. so when she left, she learned how to put up mental and emotional walls to block out some of the feelings and thoughts she could sense, basically trying her best to cut him off. both of them constantly feel like they're missing something though, bc thanks to how the tethering process works, they now can't feel complete unless they have access to the other person; they can exist if one dies or blocks the other out, but it Fucking Sucks to get used to. so on top of everything else, Leslie is feeling horrible that she's cut him out of her life completely bc she knows how this feels for her, so she can only imagine how rough he must be feeling all the time with a large chunk of his senses and emotions now missing. the only hint one gets of the other is if one of them feels incredibly strong emotions that Leslie can't block out (like Delvon randomly got immense anguish when Addie died), or occasionally they see each other in their dreams, although Leslie tries her best to avoid interacting with him, even if it means not sleeping at all.

so anyway, Leslie has very little money as she was essentially a glorified prisoner at the facility, so eventually hunger drives her back to taking on minor jobs wherever she can. one job was to repair the fence for an orchard, and the elderly man gave her a few peaches as an extra thank you since he could tell she clearly was in a bad spot. she takes them and leaves, and several miles down the road she finds a dog looking hungry and lost. she cuts up one of the peaches and gives it to her, as that's the only food she has, and then she continues on her way, noticing every so often that she can see the dog out of the corner of her eye.

that evening when she sets up camp the dog hesitantly stands on the other side of her fire, just watching her. she doesn't pay it much mind as she figures if the dog wanted to hurt her she would've done it by now. but then she turns her back for one second and turns back to find the dog is eating peaches out of her sack. she wants to be mad but she can't bring herself to feel anything but pity, so she feeds the dog and ends up keeping her, naming her Peach (she jokingly says it's short for Peach Thief). later on she theorizes that this must be the hunting or guard dog of someone who died, because no one in their right mind would abandon a dog so well trained and loyal, but finders keepers right?

I don't have many specific songs for events during this period (yet) but some general vibes are

[neerasrealm]

All of my unpublished Slenjack fics

All of them. Since I began writing about these two in May. This is four months of drabbles. I tried to put them in chronological order and some of them have iffy canonicity. Please enjoy. If there’s typos pls ignore them thanks.

Thunder

Slender wished his bunker was deeper underground. They were safe down there, yes, but he could still hear things from above ground loud and clear. Specifically the irritating whistling noise made by falling bombs before the loud rumbling boom that seemed to shake the ground above him.

He looked up at the ceiling once the shaking had died down. He briefly glanced at the only other person in the bunker, Laughing Jack, then back down at his book. Then he looked back at Jack.

He was sat on thei- Slender, Slender's bed, staring at the ceiling. He looked to be breathing shakily, eyes glued to the concrete above their heads as he gripped the bed's blanket tightly in his bony black fingers. Slender heard another whistling noise, and saw Jack tense. There was another rumbling boom and the monochrome clown let out a quiet whine of fear. He quickly hugged himself, screwing his eyes shut.

He watched, taken aback. He'd never known Jack to get so scared- save for when he had nightmares. He heard another telltale whistle, and before he could think about it, he crossed the bunker and sat down next to Jack. He wrapped an arm around the clown and pulled him close. Jack's eyes opened in surprise. He looked up at Slender for a moment before the inevitable boom came from above them. Jack made a small yelp of surprise and quickly wrapped his arms around Slender, burying his face in his chest.

Slender tensed for a moment. He heard Jack inhale shakily and he relented, rubbing his back slowly.

"...'m scared've thunder." Jack said after a long, long silence. Slender looked down in surprise. "Dunno why. I's jus' always freaked me ou'."

"I see." Slender rubbed circles into Jack's back. He responded by slowly running his sharp nails down Slender's hips. Goosebumps broke out beneath his touch. He could feel Jack's warm breath against his chest as he slowed his breathing.

"...I think they've stopped." Slender said after a few minutes- or maybe it was only moments. He wasn't sure of how long a second was anymore. Not with Jack happily snuggled against him.

"Yeah?" Jack didn't seem to be planning on moving from his position. Slender hesitated, then wrapped his other arm around him.

Housing

Another book finished.

Slender closed what he was reading and sighed- somehow, despite his lack of mouth and nose. He glanced at his...companion. Friend? Roommate? He wasn't sure. From where he sat on his bed, he could only see the back of Laughing Jack's head. The monochrome clown was sitting against the bed, his knees arched up as he used them to write something. Slender craned his neck to see over his shoulder, and realised he wasn't writing. He was drawing. Jack did that often, pulling out pieces of paper and a box of crayons. His drawings weren't great, and childish in nature and style but Slender didn't criticise him. After all, Jack was basically a giant toy. It was fitting he drew like a child would.

Slender looked at the ground next to where Jack sat and looked at the drawings he'd discarded. He picked one up with a tendril and looked at it curiously.

The drawing was of a house, with a long garden and trees. He glanced at the ground again. More houses.

"Was yer book good?" Jack broke the silence. Slender looked over at him.

"Well considering it's the third time I've read it," Slender replied. "I suppose it was."

Jack let out a single "heh." of amusement and set down his next drawing. Slender leaned forward to look at it. This one had stick figures standing next to the house. One labelled "Isaac" and one labelled "me". Slender curiously took in what little details the stick figures had. Isaac had brown spiky hair, and was pretty short. Of course, Slender knew very well who Isaac was. He glanced at Jack.

"Is that where he lived?" Slender asked. Jack shook his head. "Nah. Isaac always said 'e wanted ta live in a big ol' house," the clown chuckled a bit. "Wiv a wife an' all." A grin grew on Jack's face and he looked at Slender. "'E said 'e wanted kids too, ya know tha'?" His glassy eyes seemed to shine with excited joy. "Two li'le lads, an' 'e said I could play wiv em too."

Slender tilted his head. He would've smiled, had he a mouth. "That sounds nice."

Jack nodded and turned back to his next piece of paper. He paused for a moment, then began to draw. Slender stayed quiet, letting him work. Finally, Jack held up his picture. It was of himself, dropping candies over smaller figures, probably children. He held a balloon in his free hand. "Looks nice." Slender complimented. Jack smiled. "Yeh! I's like- part o' th' ol' stree' shows I'd do back in London! I'd throw swee's a' th' kiddos," Jack chuckled. "They'd love i'."

Jack placed aside the drawings and sighed happily. "I miss those days..." He said with a smile. Slender paused for a moment.

"After the war you could become a performer again," Slender suggested. "I'm sure kids would love you."

Jack shrugged. "Eh. I don' fink America'd like me. Think I was up t' somethin'."

"To be fair, you are a living toy." Jack laughed at that. He laughed a lot, which made sense. It was in his name. Still, Slender enjoyed the noise. It made him feel like everything was okay in the world. Which was nice, since they were going through a war right now.

The clown leaned back, resting his head and arms against the side of the bed. He looked up at Slender and smiled softly. "I miss th' kiddos..." He murmured, a little sadly. Slender hesitated, then ruffled the clown's messy hair. He'd found that Jack liked being patted, or just- being touched affectionately. Probably due to being a toy. Jack gave him a toothy grin and closed his eyes happily, pushing his head against Slender's hand slightly. He reminded Slender of a cat, oddly.

"I'm sure this war can't last much longer," Slender said. "The humans have been fighting for what? Three years now? Surely they can't keep going?" Jack shrugged. "I dunno, slen. They're hardy bastards when they feel like i'."

"Mmm." Slender usually scolded the clown for his language, but he was too distracted by how fluffy his hair felt. How Jack kept it like that he'd never know.

"...I wish I could 'ave kids." Jack said randomly after a few moments of silence. Slender's eyes, if he had any, would've shot wide open.

"E-Excuse me?" Slender asked. Jack looked up at him, confused.

"Y'know like- a dustbin lid runnin' round. Maybe two, like Isaac said." Jack smiled to himself. "I'd like tha'."

Slender withdrew his hand, regaining his composure a bit. "Ah." He said. "I suppose that would be nice..." He would've smiled if he had a mouth. "I've- actually always been good with children. I did a lot of work raising Splendor, so I suppose I...picked it up."

Jack was quiet for a few moments. "Would ye want kids?" He asked.

Slender looked down at him for a moment. "...yes. I...I actually like that idea," he glanced down. "I suppose I just- assumed it was out of the question."

Jack grinned and rolled over onto his knees rather than sitting. He grinned up at his faceless friend. "We should 'ave kids!" He chirped.

"E-Excuse me?!" Slender yelped. Jack looked up at his friend, confused. "Ya know like- ah..." The clown furrowed his brows.

"Adoption! Tha'! Tha's a thin', yeah?"

"O-Oh-" Slender relaxed. He thought Jack meant- nevermind. "What do you mean 'we'?" He asked slowly.

"Th' two of us raisin' a kiddo togetha." Jack replied. "Wha'd ye fink I mean'?" He asked with a curious blink. Slender looked away from the clown as his face turned a dark grey colour.

"Nothing." He looked down. "I don't know how we'd be able to do such a thing...I don't even have a home- unless this bunker counts." Slender rested his head in his hand. "And we're not even human, I don't know how we'd be able to adopt a child and give them a good life." He heard Jack moving around, and a weight on the bed next to him. "They'd probably fear me..."

Jack's thin, black fingers curled around Slender's hand. The faceless creature craned his face towards him. "Slen', don' say tha'." He said softly. "I'm sure we'll work somefink ou'- we could ge' a 'ome after this." The clown smiled at him. "doesn' hafta be a big'un like Isaac said."

Slender would've smiled if he had a mouth. "You say that like building houses is easy, Jack." He said, a strange fondness leaking into his voice. "And what about the children?"

"...there migh' be some like us." Jack replied. He looked down at Slender's hand, running his boney thumb over the knuckles. "No' 'uman. Needin' a 'ome." There was a pause. "I've me' a fair share of ghosts in me time..."

Slender stared at his friend for a few moments. It was odd, how Jack, despite being over a century old, could still look like a child sometimes. Slender reached over and patted Jack's head. The clown looked up at him quickly.

"Why don't you tell me about that big house Isaac spoke of?"

Cuddles

"Hssk-"

He jolted up.

"Gfff-"

He hugged himself tight and rocked himself, trying to calm down.

"Hh- hhnk-"

His breathing was ragged and shaky with panic. He could feel a chill running up his spine- if he had one. He was pretty sure he did, beneath the layers of stuffing. His right hand stopped hugging and instead cupped his face. He stared at his knees, at his patchy black slacks as he tried to calm down.

It wasn't real. He knew that. Just a nightmare, like anyone else would get. They were normal. He screwed his eyes shut as his breathing began to slow. He'd learned how to calm himself over the years. His left arm, still at his side, snaked around and rubbed circles into his back as he continued to rock himself.

As he calmed himself down he hummed to himself. The first song that came to his mind was London Bridge Is Falling Down, so he hummed that. Once he was finally calm he looked up slowly, taking in his surroundings. Bleak gray walls, a few posters, shelves and assorted furniture- Slender's bunker. He glanced up at the ceiling for a few moments, wondering if the bomber planes were flying overhead right now. It was funny, that the humans decided they needed to start another giant war only 23 years after the last one.

Because of them he was stuck in this tiny cramped shelter again. It was more spacious and homey than- the box but- he still found it too cramped sometimes.

He looked over at the bed in the corner of the room where Slender lay, sleeping peacefully. He then realized he wasn't in the armchair he'd fallen asleep in. He'd somehow moved over to the opposite side of the floor while sleeping. That sometimes happened, especially when he had bad dreams.

He hesitated, then crawled across the floor to Slender's bed. He sat down quietly beside it, his back to the faceless cryptid. He stared at the wall, listening to his breathing. How long had they known each other? 29 years? Possibly more. He wasn't sure, and math wasn't exactly his strong point.

It was long enough for him to catch feelings, he sure as hell knew that. He wouldn't dare say a word though. He knew Slender needed time to work his feelings out, come to terms with himself. Society didn't exactly like their kind of relationship, not that he could care. They were both creatures made from angels for one, and he was fairly sure they were both immortal, so hell didn't concern him, and humans sure as hell didn't.

"Jack?" His thoughts were interrupted by Slender's voice. He looked over his shoulder at him. "Why are you awake?"

"Why do ye think?" He responded. He looked away again. "I'm 'right, slen- jus' like bein' near ya." There was silence for a few moments, and he heard Slender shifting in the bed. Probably rolling over to sleep.

"Would you like to get in the bed?" Slender asked. He perked up and looked at him curiously. Oh, this was unusual. He had no idea what this could lead to but-

"Sure."

He climbed up into the bed and they stared at each other for a few moments before Slender tentatively reached out and tugged the blanket up. He seemed to hesitate, like he wanted to do more- but neither were willing to push it. He could tell Slender was far out of his comfort zone here, lying in the same bed alone in a bunker underground. Anything that happened here, in this secret spot, was between them and only them.

He hesitated, then scooted forward slowly. Slender made no move to stop him, so he guessed it was okay. He stopped, waiting to see if Slender would make the first move. The faceless cryptid's long, slender arms wrapped around him gently. God it felt nice being hugged- it came naturally to him, being a sentient toy and all. Slender's fingers rubbed circles into his back, a touch so tender it made him melt right into his arms.

He wound his puffy arms around Slender, hugging him back. He gently pressed his face against his chest and stayed still. He didn't dare move, knowing he was on thin ice here. He wouldn't even think about pushing his companion's limits. He'd be slow, if that's what it took him.

He could hear Slender's heart beating loudly. It was an odd sound- his heart beat far, far slower than a person's, and he'd been surprised to find Slender even had one. The noise was usually hard to notice because of its speed, but now it beat just a bit faster than a human's. He closed his eyes and faked a yawn. His way of saying this was as far as he'd go. Slender seemed to relax. He could feel a head resting on his, and the circles being rubbed into his back came slower and slower until the hand went still.

Laughing Jack allowed himself to drift asleep in Slender's bed.

Confessions

Over the years he’d known him, he’d realised he had no one way of being drunk. He could become sad and mournful for people long lost, he could be serious, his accent would thicken to an almost incomprehensible degree, or he’d become bubbly and giggly, affectionate and loud about it.

But right now was the...oddest of his drunk moods. Quiet. It was so unlike him to be quiet and reserved. He was always humming, smiling, joking- doing something that would remind him that he was there. Alive. Breathing. 

Their legs hung off the edge of the dock, the sea breeze chilling their faces and blowing his hair. He sighed. He was tired. Not from the long night, but the effort of keeping up his human form.

‘’I honestly thought I’d like you more when you were quiet.’’ Slender said.

‘’Ye don’ like me when I shu’ me gob?’’

‘’Not particularly.’’ he leaned back, pale blue eyes flicking over to Jack. ‘’Maybe I’ve become too accustomed to always hearing you make noise.’’ 

‘’Heh.’’ 

They fell silent again. It felt odd. Being outside. At night. They didn’t need to worry about air raids or a war going on around the entire globe. Because it had ended. Everyone had celebrated, and they were getting back on their feet. Hell, the two of them were planning to build a home for themselves. They would live together.

‘’Wha’s goin’ on in tha’ loaf ‘f bread, Slen?’’ Jack asked. Slender looked over at him, taking a moment to realise what he was asking.

‘’Oh...I was thinking about how odd it feels being outside now that the war is over.’’ He looked down at the water below them. ‘’Not that I’m complaining. I know you hated the bunker. And it means I can see my brothers more often,’’ a soft smile crossed his face. ‘’And we can have nights like these, together.’’ he turned to Jack again, smiling.

‘’Heh.’’ Jack said again. ‘’...Yeh, I enjoy our li’le da’es togeth’r too, china pla’e.’’ 

Slender blinked. ‘’Dates?’’

‘’Tha’s wha’ I call ‘em.’’ Jack murmured back as he pulled a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his sleeve. Slender watched him light one up and begin smoking. Slender only stared at him, Jack’s pale blue, almost white, eyes flicked over to him. ‘’Somefin’ wrong, china pla’e?’’

‘’Jack…’’ he gulped and looked away. ‘’I-’’ he pursed his lips then sighed. ‘’Nevermind.’’ 

‘’Slen.’’ Jack scooted closer to him. ‘’..I know. I’s awrigh’.’’

Slender looked at him for a few silent moments then away again. ‘’...I…’’ he took a deep breath. ‘’I have feelings for you, Jack. And I accept if you fear that these relationships will negatively impact our relationship.’’ 

‘’Slen.’’ Jack sounded annoyed now. ‘’I’ve kissed ye. A fair few times. No’ ta mention we’ve shared a bluddy bed an’ I’ve told ye I luv ye.’’

Slender tensed. ‘’I know.’’ He mumbled.

‘’An’ fock, I’ve known ye fer- god i’s been donkey’s ears, ain’ i’?’’

‘’Thirty three years.’’ Slender said.

‘’Exac’ly!’’ Jack raised his arms as he spoke with such force his body almost fell back for a second. Slender managed to steady him. ‘’An’ ye fink I’m gonna turn roun’ ta ya an’ say tha’ I don’ fink of ye as all me trouble an’ strife?!’’

‘’...I’m a man.’’

Jack blinked and looked at him. ‘’So I can’ call ye tha’?’’

Slender pondered it for a moment then shook his head. ‘’No, go ahead. I don’t mind.’’

‘’Awrigh’ well-’’ Jack blinked a couple times, like he was trying to bring himself out of his drunken haze. ‘’I luv ye too Slen. An’ I’ve made i’ very clear tha’ I luv ya.’’ He looked down at Slender, a serious look on his face. ‘’I’ve been wai’in fer ya ta tell me tha’ ye luv me too. Y’know tha’ righ’?’’

‘’...I know…’’ Slender looked away. ‘’I’m sorry it’s taken so long, Jack. I just- wasn’t ready I suppose.’’ he fiddled with his hands. ‘’I never really thought of myself as capable of falling in love I mean- I’m old, and humans have such short lifespans so I didn’t try to get attached to any but then you came along and of course you’re-’’

His rambling was cut off by Jack’s large hand covering his mouth. ‘’Slen, shu’ up wiv tha’.’’ he grunted. ‘’If all ye fink abou’ is ou’livin’ ‘umans ye’ll neve’ make any ma’es, will ye?’’

Slender looked up at him and softened. He sighed and pulled Jack’s arm away. It instead wrapped around him. ‘’No...I suppose not…’’ Slender glanced aside. ‘’Still I...I’m sorry I took so long to say I love you.’’

‘’I’s awrigh’ Slen.’’ Jack softened and smiled down at him. It was unlike his usual smiles. It was genuine, loving, caring. The look made Slender feel...safe. ‘’No’ like I’m ge’in older er anyfin’.’’

Slender chuckled. ‘’No, neither of us really are, are we?’’

Jack laughed next to him and leaned down, planting a kiss on the top of his head. ‘’I luv ye. Ye ol’ bastard.’’

‘’Rude.’’ 

Zalgo is a BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER

"So 'ow is 'e?" Laughing Jack asked as he looked over at Slender. 

Slender sighed. "Still mad at me." He said, sadness leaking into his voice. He closed the door to the sunroom and leaned sideways against the wall. He watched the monochrome clown flick his lighter on and light the cigarette clenched between his teeth. 

"E'll come aroun'." He replied. He took a puff of the cigarette and breathed out, blowing hoops with the smoke like it was the easiest thing in the world. Slender, if he had a mouth, would've smiled. The smell of smoke reminded him of times long gone.

"I know...it's just-" Slender fiddled with his tie. "I give him all the attention he could want, support, I teach him that it's okay to be himself and tell me when something is wrong but...then he runs off without a word and-" he paused for a moment. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong…"

"Ye're no' doin' a fing wrong, Slen. I's no' yer faul' tha' 'e's no' be'er ye'." Jack looked at him. Despite how carefree and jokey he was all the time...these moments, when Slender showed the smallest signs of anxiety and doubt, his gaze became stern, his voice firm and wise. "Jeff- well I don' know 'is whole tale bu' I can only assume i's seven kindsa focked. Ye cant fix a broken down jam jar wiv jus' new par's, ye go'a take th' ol' ones ou' firs'." 

"...Your analogies are as creative as ever." Slender replied. Jack gave him an agitated look.

"Shuddup, I'm knackered. Spent all day wiv th' li'le missus." He nodded at the wooden pirate ship across the yard from them. Something Jack had built with a bit of help from Slender's brothers. It was big, big enough for him and Sally to run around on while they travelled the high seas together. There was even a slide.

Slender laughed a bit. He sighed, looking up at the sky. It was quiet for a few moments before something nudged him. He looked down to see LJ's arm stretched out, holding the box of cigarettes in offering. Slender didn't smoke, at all. He hadn't when it was fashionable, and he especially didn't now that he knew about the health risks. Even though they probably wouldn't affect him, he wasn't willing to try. 

"No thank you."

The hand retracted and the cigarettes were put into the pocket of LJ's trousers. It was quiet again for a little bit. "Jack?"

"Mmm?"

"How do you always know what to say?" Slender asked. LJ took a long drag of his cigarette. 

"'Ow do you always see th' bes' in every'un?" He retorted. Slender looked at him, surprised. "In Jeff, in Toby, in me." Jack stared at him. "Ye never give up on 'em. Every'un is capable 'f bein' a good person ta ye. Why?"

Slender looked down. "...I just don't believe anyone is truly evil. The worst of the worst can redeem themselves. Toby has, you have- I mean- you do nothing but make children happy, both here and among the world...and- I believe Jeff can too."

A small smile spread up Jack's face. "Even tha' gobshite Zalgo?"

"...don't say the bastard's name here." Slender replied with a smile in his voice. Jack threw his head back and cackled.

Slender you dumb bitch look after yourself

"Jack? What are you doing up?"

Jack looked over his shoulder, black hair blowing softly in the wind. "Ye mean up 'ere or why am I awake?" 

Slender sighed and walked down the roof using his tendrils to keep himself from falling. He sat down next to the black and white clown. The moonlight glinted off his pale white skin. "Why are you awake?"

Jack shrugged. "Couldn' sleep." He replied. "Why're ye up, Slen? Ye need res'." 

"I'm fine."

"Well I know ye're no'. Ye're g'nna be up a' seven or eigh' makin' breakfas' fer every'n an' then ye're g'nna clean th' entire bluddy gaf, then make lunch fer every'n." Jack looked at him. "Ye work too 'ard."

The faceless man looked away from him and instead out at the forest past their backyard. "I'm fine, honestly. I do that every day, I can handle it."

"Tha's me feckin' point! Ye work yerself ta th' bone every day an' act like ye're no' bluddy knackered!" Despite his yelling, Jack didn't sound angry. More frustrated and worried. 

Slender rested a hand on Jack's shoulder, squeezing it softly. "You don't need to worry about me." He said softly.

"If I don' then who will?" Jack asked softly. "Ye work so 'ard fer us all an' never complain...we all owe ye so much ye' ye never ask fer anyfin'." He looked up at Slender. He looked- sad. And worried. "I don' want ye ta 'ide yer problems fer our sake. Th' kiddos- they care abou' ye. A lo'."

Slender was silent for a few moments. His hand moved off of Jack's shoulder, and for a moment the clown was worried he'd stepped too far but- instead the hand curled around his own bony, bandaged hand. 

"I know my limits Jack, don't worry." Slender shifted closer to him and looked down, faded blue eyes meeting a featureless face. "I don't mind working hard for all of you. You all make it worth it. I appreciate your concern, but you don't have to worry so much."

Jack was silent for a moment. "Ye know I worry abou' ye because I love ye, yeh?" 

Slender blushed, his cheeks turning a dark grey colour. "I know." He responded softly. Jack moved closer and hugged Slender semi-tightly.

"Then le' me a' leas' look after ye while ye look after th' bin lids, yeh?" His voice was soft and loving. Slender couldn't possibly bring himself to say no to Jack- not when he was curled up against him like this.

"..Alright." He combed his hand through the clown's hair. "...Thank you…"

"I's nofink." Jack replied tiredly. Slender held him close, petting his hair lovingly until he dozed off.

Jeff you bitch ass motherfucker

It's so quiet out here by the lake. It's miraculous- the fact that there's a house available to rent just between the sea cliffs, right where nobody can find us, save for people on boats, but we're down away from the mountains and far from any other buildings, so there's no reason to come over here.

Secluded and alone. Perfect for our...odd, little family. 

Our children are swimming in the waters in front of us. Sally is swimming after Cody, they're probably talking, while Dina paddles after the two of them. She's gotten rather good at swimming, I've hardly had a chance to teach her thanks to those two. EJ is on a float- oh nevermind Jeff just flipped it over. Even from here on a rock on the shore I can hear him laughing. I watch Jeff swim away to go terrorise Michael, who's just floating peacefully on his back. 

We're not the only ones on the shore however. Just below the rock we're on is Ben, headphones on, playing a game. He's scared of water, so he prefers to stay on the land with his games. There's also Helen, sitting a little bit away, painting the sunset. Smile, the family dog, is fast asleep on the sand, lying on his back with his four legs in the air.

And Jack, my- my husband...is lying against me. He isn't one for water either, so he's perfectly happy to lie curled up next to me. I don't mind. He's soft to touch, and I love him. Obviously.

I hear him chuckle a bit. "I fink Jeff go' Mike's glasses." He says softly. I smile a bit. Well- smile as much as I can without an actual face. 

"It's because he knows we're not able to go into the water to tell him off." I say. Jack laughs. His voice is soft and raspy but I love it. I watch Jeff throw the glasses. They hit Dina and sink into the water. She whirls around and paddles after Jeff, who swims off quickly. Luckily Sally is quick to dive down and retrieve them for poor Michael. "He's pushing his luck." I add. 

"I'll bury 'im in th' sand while 'e's sleepin'. Tha'll teach 'im." Jack responds. I chuckle. "I can ge' Mike ta 'elp. Junior too."

I lean down and press my face against the top of his head. I can't kiss him but he understands the gesture just fine. "I'll pretend I didn't hear you planning this." I say. Jack grins up at me, then grabs my face and leans up, his neck stretching as he plants a kiss on my cheek. 

"Yeh, okay." He says softly. My hand combs through his thick black hair. It's silky and soft. I feel a couple of braids in among the locks. Probably Sally's doing. He rests his head against my shoulder and sighs happily. "I luv ya, china pla'e."

"I love you too, Jack."

[inventors-fair]

Recycling day: Commentary on “Unique Artifacts”

This contest went exactly how I was hoping it would go. A variety of artifacts, a whole slew of unique mechanical ideas, experimentation — what more could I ask for? I’m glad that people liked this one. I’ve been stewing with it for a little bit. I think there were a few wording issues that I’ll get around to, but I’m also a stickler for perfection. Y’all should know how pedantic I am at this point. I’m practically a vedalken.

Anyway. Commentary time!

@ajani​ — Devra Chai

I really like your callback to Indian inspiration and the nature of Kaladesh. Mechanically, this card’s got some chops. I also like the abstract use of energy here as it relates to food. There are a few easily fixable issues. Firstly, there should be a comma after “sacrificed.” Secondly, as this is a Food, the second ability should be “2, T, Sacrifice Devra Chai: You gain 3 life.” The “You” is super important. Lastly, and most pedantically, as great as the flavor text is, “it’s” should be “its” because English is certainly a language. Small issues aside, good idea overall. 

@deafeningsandwichpeach​ — Ancient Stone of Greed

The power level here is really hard to judge. The draw on the first ability seems really strong. Did you base this on Coveted Jewel? Overall, I feel that this card is a fine idea but a little busted with any artifact untapping. Filigree Sages makes this an infinite draw combo, but it’s not broken wide open. Let’s fix the wording. The second ability should be “Spend this mana only to cast a Hydra or Dragon spell.” This should be four lines, with “Skip your draw step” and the death trigger being on separate lines. I’m 80% sure that “Skip your draw step” also should be the first line on the card, and with that, you can probably take off the flavor text.

@demimonde-semigoddess​ — Gilded Yarn

This is an interesting one. Personally, adding an activated ability onto the equipment itself that’s not an equip cost seems a little hard to grok for the average player. Flavorfully, I understand the first ability, but not the attack clause at all. I’m not connecting it to anything specific in mythological tropes. It’s not a bad card mechanically, but I’m a little lost. Did you shift+enter for the equip cost? It looks really close to the other line.

@dimestoretajic​ — The Steel Leaf

The one and only! I like the callback. From a cursory look, I don’t think there is an actual “steel leaf” on Dominaria, but the sentiment is appreciated. I’m a little iffy on the fact that it doesn’t exactly do anything if you don’t have the trigger, and it doesn’t really help itself to the trigger, but it’s okay to have cards that you need to build around. The last ability is a little awkward because the way it’s worded now you can return green creatures your opponents control to their owner’s hand and it gets around hexproof, which I’m sure wasn’t intentional. “you control” could fix that easily.

@fractured-infinity​ — Cold-Iron Skillet

This is a fascinating little equipment. I love the creativity here. Honestly, not a whole lot to say about this one. It’s niche, but flavorful enough. Maybe the second ability should somehow be tied into being equipped to a creature? After all, the skillet’s not gonna do anything by itself, right? Major notes: both “foods” and “faeries” should be capitalized.

@gollumni​ — Pontiff’s Coinbox

Now this is unique. I can perfectly imagine the art here, which is majorly cool. I’m not sure why you tied the untapping to each opponent’s upkeep rather than their untap step, which is the way things usually go. And based on the amount of massive counters you can gain fairly early on, “twice the number” might be a little too powerful. The last ability should have “YOU gain 3 life” as well. I’d add a “(1)” to it as well, personally. I’m a little iffy on this kind of white acceleration, but there’s only one way to find out, right? 

@greensunzenith​ — Dust Bunny

It’s a super cute idea, for sure. I kinda like the idea that your opponent keeps having to sweep it away, and that it’ll keep coming back. The difficulty in removing it is a bit of a pain, but that’s the nature of the beast, I suppose. I wouldn’t call the design anything mind-blowing, and frankly, as a one-drop it’s a pain in the butt probably more than it should be, but it’s not bad. Might have to cost 2 or 3 mana, and I would add a little flavor if you can come up with something.

@grornt​ — Smothering Rug

Well, I didn’t expect a rug for this contest, so kudos there. It changes up combat in a really powerful way, and I’m worried about its power level in a limited format. It’s an anti-trampler, anti-first striker, and man, that makes combat complicated. This is a card that would have to see a significant amount of testing, considering that every deck can play it. Doesn’t blow me away, but it’s good enough. Again, might want to consider flavor text with the amount of rules text that you have here.

@hypexion​ — Spy Satellite

It’s unfortunate that we had two spy-oriented cards submitted here. Surveillance is a great concept, and I’m glad you used the name in a flavorful way. I don’t know how powerful the surveil is here considering that it’s harder to remove than other creatures which have repeatable surveil. It’s a good card, certainly. I don’t know if the second ability needs UU instead of 1U, but I guess I can see the reasoning. Flavor text is pretty good. Overall, it’s a fine enough card. Save it for a custom cube.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Press of Magic Knowledge

Ah, batching. I think that you were ambitious in the way that you designed this card, and I’m not sure the payoff is entirely worth it. Seven different creature types is a lot to ask for, and it implies that all these different types would be in a single set. I think that’s entirely too much to ask for. The card itself isn’t...bad? It’s incredibly powerful. The wording might be a little convoluted. Why does it give the ability to the spells, instead of having it just be a trigger? “Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may tap an untapped Spellcaster you control. When you do, copy that spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.” A little easier to grok. Name and flavor text could use a little work, too. Doesn’t excite me.

@illharg-the-rave-boar​ — Hunted Windmill

I’m still thinking about this card. The fact that is has menace and that it gives your opponent a single creature is kind of an “eff you” but in limited, it’s certainly a pain in the butt. The two toughness really makes it feel fragile, but maybe the eight power makes up for it? I think this card could be fine. I think it could even be good. It’s still asking a LOT of questions that only playtesting and the right environment could ask for.

Also tfw “Dawn Kijote.” Take your kudos and go.

@kavinika​ — Ace of Spades

This card is... Restrictive. Basically, it says that “for the rest of the game, I decide all coin flips,” and that’s not interactive. It’s not exactly fun. If it was a sacrifice effect with a secret kind of ETB, then I guess it would be okay, but unlike Krark’s Thumb, it’s getting rid of a key part of randomness with no time limit, and that’s not great. I liked the philosophy of your submission, but I don’t feel that this card is adherent to MTG principles.

@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Amphora of Ephara

Kudos for making me look up the word “amphora.” Yet another card I can easily visualize! So, in terms of power level. Man. This card is a pain in the butt. In the right deck, it can grind out aggro decks with even the smallest creatures, and I assume there would be enough artifact/enchantment removal to make it not busted, but holy cow this could be a potential pain. And you know what? That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I would call this card annoying, certainly, but not in a “win the game” way. Two things: One, there should be a comma after the blue mana symbol in the activated ability. Two... “a city?” Too vague. Gotta spice it up with worldbuilding and/or specificity, man.

@machine-elf-paladin​ — Headmaster’s Lectern

Another great choice for a unique artifact here. Love it. It’s a simple design, but it’s perfectly functional, and sometimes that’s all we can ask for. It’s a great uncommon. Doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it’s a card that works, and that’s just plain fine. Flavor text 7/10. It’s a little hard to grok exactly what that immortalization looks like and where we are in the timeline. You set up a grand artifact, and then add a funny bit, and the two don’t exactly mesh perfectly. Both parts are fine. Again, good enough to worldbuild.

@mistershinyobject​ — Peace Table

Let’s get the good out of the way: I like how the middle ability gives a “swords to plowshares” kind of feel. That aspect works. That first ability, though, is missing a major wording. As it reads now, you can tap it and tap any number of creatures with different names — that you don’t control. And you can target those same creatures after. So, basically, for four mana your opponent never gets to attack again. I know that wasn’t your intention at all, but that’s the way the submission reads. Minor note: the flavor text should feel funny, but the art and concept is pretty serious, and it’s a little bit of a tonal clash.

@misterstingyjack​ — Unwanted Gift

Surprise! It’s horrible. Not the card, though, because I love this card. I can see it going into a set with Morph, and that works perfectly well. It might have to be mythic, because holy shit a reverse Immortal Sun is still awful to deal with. And I take a LOT of issue with that last ability. Just have it punish for every card draw! It’s totally functional without that weird restriction.

@nine-effing-hells​ — Beldam’s Mortar

This is my favorite artifact in terms of uniqueness. You added mythological aspects that are little-known but easy to grok, it feels magical, it seems cool, and it’s so unusual that you can’t help but to just plain love it. Now, the card. Using Bladed Bracers as a template, there should be one line for the equip buff, and another that says “As long as equipped creature is a Druid, Hag, Shaman or Warlock, it can’t be blocked.” I might take out either Druid or Shaman from that list, personally? Three might be the limit for batching. The flavor text could also talk a little bit more about the importance of the mortal itself as a means of transportation.

@nvijork​ — Scrying Dish

I have a soft spot for tutors. They are my absolute favorite cards. I love combo, control, unique synergy, all that crazy stuff. Additionally, I love randomness. So, there are two changes I would make to this card, one mechanical and two syntactically. The syntax one is that “3″ should be “three.” That’s just how Magic works. There should also be a comma after “(4).” Mechanically, I would also add that after you shuffle and put the cards on top, you draw a card. It’s the payoff to the scry, it bumps the power level up, and it justifies the cost. Overall, I really liked this card.

@real-aspen-hours​ — Nutrient slurry

I guess this card would be an uncommon? You gotta add rarity to text submissions. I think that for next week I’ll add an example post. Anyway, besides the name capitalization, I think that this card actually works really well. It feels green, it’s powerful enough, it’s synergistic with the game, and could see some pretty cool +1/+1 counter interaction. Not bad at all. The flavor text might need to be in quotes, because, well, it’s first-person. The card is pretty great, but the submission needs polish.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ — Resincase Relic

I really would have added imprint here. Although, would that imply that the card never comes back? It’s honestly not the worst price to pay. This is a perfectly functional mana rock, a theoretically budget version of Chrome Mox, and I’m okay with that. It should be “one mana” instead of “a mana,” looking at the Thriving lands and Chrome Mox itself. And two lines of flavor text wouldn’t have gone amiss here.

@scavenger98​ — Storm Jar

I really want to like this card. For the first ability, I would absolutely make it a may ability — “you may have target creature gain or lose flying until end of turn.” Gotta simplify it. The second ability needs the “s” in “sacrifice” to be capitalized. This is a fun card mechanically, and very potentially powerful in limited! What’s with the flavor text, though? I don’t get it.

@shandylamb​ — Cursed Compass

So, major mechanical issue: You, as the player, don’t explore — the equipped creature explores. It would read: Equipped creature has “T, Pay 1 life: Scry 1, then this creature explores.” Easy enough fix, but needs to happen. Additionally, good lord, this should be at least an uncommon. Potential scrying and exploring each turn? Very powerful, moreso than I think you’re giving credit for. A great idea for sure, but NOT common, no sir. I like it, don’t get me wrong. Also, I assume this is from one of the Pirates movies. In the future, please clarify the specific piece of media. 

@starch255​ — Orb of Petrification

This is a card that I really spent a lot of time thinking about. I still don’t know what to feel about it. It’s evident that you spend a lot of time thinking about this card and putting it together, and I want to give you credit for that first and foremost. The second ability is really weird to me, because it prevents the orb itself from activating its abilities, and it shuts down all artifacts on board? I’m not positive how that works flavorfully. It’s not bad. It’s probably super powerful in commander, not gonna lie. Control magic out the wazoo. I’m still on the fence about this one. Fine in standard, fine in limited, probably part of a frustrating combo in eternal formats. Still gotta congratulate you for the design process.

@teaxch​ — Semaphore Flag

Another really cool choice for a unique artifact. Functionally fun as a build-around. The card needs some kind of basic flavor text, because man it’s looking blank as heck right now. But older cards do that sometimes. Maybe I’m just a stickler for these sorts of things. Overall: probably fine. Probably not gonna see play except for in that deck made by That Guy that copies a buttload of artifacts.

~

Thank you all for your submissions! New contest tomorrow. Get the creative juices flowing.

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD commentaries; 5.01 - See No Evil

Here are some notes on the DVD commentary for the first episode of season five, with Shawn Pillar and Lloyd Segan, Executive Producers. These two do sound quite a lot alike, but I think I can tell which of them is speaking when. None of this is necessarily word-for-word quotes though because I can’t always hear each and every word because the sound quality on this one is frankly terrible. Terrible. It sounds like it was recorded on a phone. In a bag. Under the table. But, I think I got the gist of it. 

LS: We’re watching the recap right now, and people don’t realise how tough it is to cut a good recap. Who does this? SP: Well it’s sort of everyone. It starts with the editing assistants, watching the previous season and they put together something. And then we start to hone it. We try to keep it to around 40-50 seconds, for season openers it’s around a minute.

[As we see the recap of the final scene of season four, in the cave] SP: We had a big debate with the network and the studio about how we were going to end this scene - the finale. It ends on their close ups now. LS: But if you’re diligent you’ll see on the DVD the alternative ending that was considered SP: Really? That’s so fancy. So there’s all these close ups, and then she - can I say it? LS: Well no because we want them to see it. SP: Well, we can tell them, why not? So basically Mara takes a step forward and does something really cool. And the network wanted to be not stuck with that. And they weren’t wrong. But it was very cool. And the idea now is that we more slowly reveal that. LS: And we’ve made it a more personal version in this. [Me: *checks DVDs for this deleted scene and comes up empty* :(

LS: So here we are with this beautiful baby in the gazebo. And Shawn, that’s a real infant there, right? SP: That is a real baby. There were twins. The baby cried on cue. And Jayne [who plays Gloria] and Molly [Vickie] were freezing and fantastic. This was a really cold scene to shoot. I think this might have been the first scene we shot of the season. LS: And this is right in Chester, this beautiful gazebo by the water, by the very well known yacht club. By the way, we should mention who Molly’s Dad is - Molly’s father is John Dunsworth who plays Dave. So they clearly are a very talented family. SP: So, this was a fake baby when you can’t see the face. And a real baby in the close ups. It’s a very hard thing to act, to have a very light fake-baby and pretend it has the same weight. It’s one of the giveaways of fake-baby vs real-baby. Jayne is quite good at it. SP: So this was a fun deal seeing Vickie draw. So we basically had different versions of it that the props department had pre-drawn on different pages, and then she [Molly] just adds a little bit. And this was fun, doing these effects [the petals floating up when Vickie blows on the drawing]. LS: Yeah I remember you telling everyone to be patient because without the visual effects this scene seemed to take a long time, because they’re reacting to something that’s not there. And you would say wait, you’re going to love it when all of the visual effects are in. And sure enough - look at how beautiful this came out. SP: I love when we get to go into heightened reality, slow motion suspended reality stuff, like a music video. Look at the baby [apparently fascinated by the floating petals], that’s great. This was a one take baby. SP: So this was a few different angles to get this scene. It was super fun to envisage it and chip away at it. When you’re directing, particularly for TV where everything’s so fast, it’s sort of like a chess game, where you’re trying to get all of the shots and angles you want. LS: Poor lighthouse. SP: Poor lighthouse. So, a lot of these aerial shots were compiled from different seasons.

[As we see Dwight wake up on the rocks by the beach] SP: Actually, I take it back - this was the first scene we shot, on day one of season five, we started with this scene of Dwight and Duke; Adam and Eric. This was Eric’s first day in his wig. Because we had cut his hair. We knew we were going to cut his hair at some point, because everyone was kind of over the long hair including Eric and we decided that we wanted to make a change. And so we debated, because the bane of producers existence are wigs. But, they did a pretty good job. LS: Yeah it looks terrific. SP: There’s a little bit of CG wig removal we had to do because sometimes you could sort of see the edge of it. LS: But tell us about this location because it looks like it took some effort to get all the equipment out there to shoot. [on the beach/rocks with Duke and Dwight] SP: Actually we found a spot just right off the road. This is at the spa, the abandoned hotel. We’ve shot there before. It’s a great place we can get access to and we were able to shoot a couple of scenes there without any big production moves. LS: That’s great.

[Vince and Dave walking through the woods]; SP: So this is a scene that we actually reshot because it started snowing. The scene was great, the actors were great, but we had to reshoot. LS: And so talk about the woods, where is this? SP: We try to keep all of the locations near to each other so that we can get more money left for other things. The less moves you’re doing in a day, the more time you get to work with the actors, and the more shots and angles you can do.

[As Mara handcuffs Nathan] SP: This was a fun scene to shoot where Mara’s pretending to be Audrey and she tricks him. LS: Emily Rose did an amazing job playing these multiple roles. SP: It was really fun actually, becuase this was the first time we got to see Mara go full Mara. This was her first scene and she had a little bit of anxiety with it because it was the first time she was going to go full Mara. She had done it in the previous season for just a moment. We actually found the character in the final take and the final direction, it was something that connected between her and I, where she basically went; OK I get it. And she did it and we all went; Oh my god, there’s Mara - just for a split second at the end of the season. And this was the first scene of the new season where she got to be Mara, and we played with it. I was like, OK; a little bigger, little smaller, be a little crazier, a little meaner, faster, slower. So we really played with it and this was where we really discovered who she was. And then that process continued even in post.

LS: And here’s our title sequence that you cobbled together with very few resources. SP: There’s a minute long version of it that’s fantastic. But at some point the network decided that it should be 20 seconds. And I think we haggled and finally got to 30 seconds, or 28 seconds or something.

SP: So it’s always fun to find aerials that we’ve shot in previous seasons to match scenes that we’re doing now, that match the colour and the look and the feel. This was an overcast day [as Duke finds a handcuffed Nathan] so I love those aerial shots that matched and we cut those in.

SP: This was an interesting season in that we switched from doing a seven day episode to two [something I can’t hear - cross boarded?] six day episodes. So of the 151 days of shooting we had, we cut out a month to do 26 episodes, it would have taken a month longer otherwise. So what we did was have one director direct two episodes, so I directed episodes one and two. So this was a challenge because basically the actors were sometimes doing scenes from two different episodes in one location in one day. So we’d have to sort of say; this is this scene in this episode, we’ve gone through all of this stuff and now you’re in this scene, this is the next episode. So we really had to track the arc of where you are. Which was fun and a challenge.

[As Nathan and Duke arrive to find the lighthouse destroyed] SP: So this is fun location, this is also at the spa, we shot this on day one. The spa is the building there to the left, so we put a load of police cars and stacked some boulders there to the right. And the fog rolled in on this day which fantastic. But we staked a bunch of fake boulders everywhere and had wood dropped around. SP: So these are CG stiches on the guy’s eyes there. No stiches were stitched. Initially there was a lot more of these monkeys (that will show up later) that sew people up. And, to my relief, we got rid of them. Because, they would have been hard to shoot, and they were iffy about pulling them off. I’m sure we could have done it, but the network was worried about it. LS: It would have been cute. It would have been nice.

LS: So having Dwight played by Adam Copeland, he just brought it. And this season was more opportunity to develop his character. Every time we gave him more to do he just hit it out of the park, and this season is his best season to date. He’s really immersed in the mythology of the story, even giving him (as you’ll see later) a love interest.

SP: Another interesting challenge we had is we didn’t have Jennifer to come back. So we basically scripted the episode so that everyone’s looking for her. And so we tied it to Eric’s arc; finally falling in love, finally finding the woman he truly loves and then losing her. And so the arc of these first two episodes is really the search for her and you realise that the mystery is tied to one of our main characters as the Troubled person, and it’s really the beginnging of Duke’s journey for this season - his fall from grace and eventual heroic [journey?].

[As Nathan talks to Vince in Dave’s hospital room] SP: So this our hospital set, this is in the curling rink side of our ice hockey sound stage in Chester. And every year we’ve made it a bit bigger, and this year we got the nurses station. It’s a challenge to shoot people in these tiny rooms but what I like to do is keep the camera moving, as you see. SP: So these dreams [of Dave’s] (wow I haven’t seen this in a long time, I forgot what we did), there was a lot of debate about what Dave’s seeing. This is stuff I shot after the fact to sort of build the mystery of what happened in the cave after we cut away. Because we leave season four - boom, everyone doesn’t remember what happened and they all end up in different places. So, somehow it’s linked to Dave, we don’t really know what happened.

SP: And one of the fun things about this episode is there’s a lot of secrets between people but also they don’t know what happened, so there’s a lot of agendas and people are just trying to figure out what’s going on. And people aren’t really being honest with each other [as we see Nathan and Dwight talk in the hospital] and everyone’s kind of in their own little agenda. LS: I think it’s all well intentioned right? I mean the idea is that they each think they have their own way into saving Haven. They’re not quite sure who to trust and so they’re trying to figure it out.

SP: So this is our coffee shop which is actually [Nicky’s Inn?] in downtown Chester. LS: Amazing food. SP: So this is another scene with Mara where she’s pretending to be Audrey, which is kinda fun. So we played with it a bit, played with those looks; a little meaner, a little crazier. I thought Emily really did a great job and gave us so many different options. Because one of the things I like to do, becuase no one is ever completely right in what they think. So I have my vision of the scene, the writers have theirs, the actors have theirs. And somewhere in the middle, through everyone’s work is the best version. So I like to push and pull and play with things and get different angles, so we can pull it apart in post. [In the coffee shop’s stock room] SP: So this was fun in that this is actually the back room of the Haven Herald. We actually cheated this standing set, we just dressed it with those racks and made it look different. LS: And in fact that same standing set has been used for quite a number of purposes for production and that same building is our wardrobe department.

SP: One of the things the actors are really good at is working with the visual effects. We basically get to explain what’s going to happen and block it out and then they get to make it real, because the visual effect’s are only as good as the actors’ reactions. Doesn’t matter how much money you spend on the effects it’s not going to work [if the actors’ reactions don’t fit]. And with a better reaction you can actually spend less money on visual effects because they kind of earn it.

[As Mara leaves the dead guy in the stock room] SP: That was CG blood not real blood. It was great to see Emily as Mara killing someone. It really set up her character, as; OK this woman is a bad [ass?]

LS: Shawn tell us about the car [Duke’s truck] SP: I am in love with this car, I’m obsessed with this car. We rent it from a guy who is slowly restoring it. This is right down the street from Nicky’s Inn.

[As Dwight watches the car roll over and over down the street] SP: There was a lot of debate about how we could pull this scene off, and I said there’s got to be a way to do it. So basically we wrapped the car with cable, and we had a car pulling it so that the cables unwound at the same time as a forklift flipped it. So the forklift flipped it forward, it rolled, and then the car pulled it. And so it was a fairly non-stunty way to do a stunt. We flipped it and CG’d out the wires later. We had four cameras rolling and we did it twice, and that gave us enough footage. And it was a way to do it fairly fast and cheap, and make it look like a big sexy car flipping scene which normally would take a whole day to shoot - we shot it in about two hours.

[As we see Vince flicking through the Cabot journal] SP: The props department did a great job with this, I love these inserts because it gives us a real feel for the town and shows the age of the town, and gives it credibility and texture. And I just love watching these guys work together [Lucas, Eric and Richard]. Richard Donat is one of the great actors in North America and just a wonderful guy. LS: He is. And he is a lovely guy. That’s the nice thing, not only is he brilliant he’s also lovely. SP: He just gets so into the scenes. And they all commit. You can see it on their face sometimes, you’ve got to get psyched up for these heigtened reality moments. When they’re doing exposition scenes it’s a specific skill for the actors to get into the scene and make it feel real. And - look at what Lucas is doing there [Vince is talking to Duke and we see Nathan beside Vince], he’s thinking, he’s reacting, and that’s why I love these shots. And I try to put them in situations where sometimes the most interesting thing isn’t the person talking, or the person listening. And it takes the [pressure?] off in some of the exposition scenes. They just do so much with their faces and eyes, it’s a pleasure.

[As we see Nathan driving onto the beach to find the thinny and wait for Mara] LS: Ah we’ve used this beach a few times. SP: I love that bronco so much. So this was fun, we shot several scenes here. There’s a lot of scenes with different characters guarding different posts looking for Mara, and looking for Jennifer. [As Nathan looks through his binoculars] That’s a rock we just plopped ten feet off the water. And then we had a CG rock out in the distance, because we couldn’t get a rock with the perfect tides. But we did a whole plan with charts and tide maps and stuff and came up with a plan and then of course the plan changes because nothing’s directly on schedule, and so the tide was too low and we had to move a bunch of stuff around. But overall it was pretty great and we had a free boat floating out there [visible in the distance]. Free background is the best.

LS: We should do a shout out to the aerial team. SP: Yes, the fantastic helicopter team. Every year at some point we go up to freshen up the library so it looks like every episode gets a helicopter unit but really we line up a call sheet and GPS information for every episode and we have cars drive and do chase sequences and stuff. And it’s around episode seven and we go and shot the aerial shots for all the episodes up until then, and then we usually do another helicopter unit later.

[As Dwight is creeping up behind Mara in the woods] LS: Now this is a cool sequence. SP: This was fun. This was our Matrix moment [as the bullets curve around towards Dwight] LS: Long before the Matrix existed SP: Yep. So this is the kind of stuff where you shoot slow motion and you tell the actors to freeze, and then you put in CG bullets. And it’s about the camera moving, them being frozen, and really having cool angles to sell it. I just love Emily when she has fun - it was fun to play with this. I’ve said it before but, not making Mara arch or boring, or too big or too small. Emily really found a good balance where you hated Mara but you sort of liked her. And I think over the course of the season, the writers and Emily did a great job of getting a feel for her. I think that’s the thing I’m most proud of for this season is the writing and the cast, and obviously the look of the film I’m super proud of. And the location and the crew. But I think this is our tour de force this year of the writing and the acting and giving everyone something to do and something to play. LS: It’s just occured to me that you had some very specific looks for Mara and her wardrobe. What went into those decisions? SP: Well, she was kind of stuck with her outfit from last year, Audrey’s outfit from the last season. And so we planned it last year; OK it’s going to be cold next season let’s make sure she’s wearing a jacket. So Mara has more eyeliner and her hair’s a little more messed up and more edgy. And Audrey obviously is softer. But what really did it was her acting; her cadence, the way she carried herself, her rhythm of speech. Her sarcasm. She [Mara] is just totally unlikeable in an amazingly likeable way. LS: Yep, she did a phenomenal job. SP: That taser gun has a couple of different things to it, so some of what you see is CG and some of it is real.

[As we see an aerial shot of the beach] SP: That’s actually the bronco; we drove it down onto the beach and I got that shot. I said, make sure the car is on the beach, and then I flew by with the helicopter. And then the bronco would drive to another location and I’d fly over and get that.

SP: This was fun going back to early season one, where he looks over and see’s her lip gloss in the door and he remembers the first time they talked about being able to feel each other. Or, Nathan being able to feel Audrey. And this is the original footage. We were going to reshoot it and I was like, Why? The old footage is so great. And they look so much different. It wasn’t the original music though.

[As we see Dwight driving along on the phone to Nathan] SP: So these driving scenes are fun to do. It’s just me and the director and camera operator, we get in the car and we drive around. And we just do the scene a whole bunch of times to try and get good background. And the actors love it. So like I said OK let’s drive by that church, so we drive by there and try to get that in the background. Maybe I’m the only one obsessed, hoping the fans are going to be watching that scene and go; Oh my god look at that church, look how cool that is!

SP: So we were able to block shoot these scenes with Duke, and the scenes with Nathan at the bronco. Block shooting is when you write a whole bunch of different scenes at the same location, and you line them up and shoot them all together. So it allows you to make good use of the location because it’s worth it for multiple scenes, the actors get to do a bunch of stuff, and it’s worth getting the big wide shots because you can use them - and you kind of need them so not every scene looks the same.

[As we see Dwight talking to Gloria in the morgue] LS: So Shawn talk about this set. SP: This is our sound stage, it’s connected to the hospital set - the hospital is just down that hall right there [behind Dwight I think] and we pretend it’s on a different floor. The windows are different. It’s one of my favourite sets on the show, it’s’ a beautiful design by Jennifer Stewart. Our painters are fantastic, and gaffers and everybody.

[As Mara is getting the gun to Nathan’s head on the beach] SP: This was really fun to shoot this scene. LS: So I’m curious to know, this is quasi-stunt stuff right? So how do you choreograph it? SP: It’s great when the actors do their own stunts and our cast is super gung ho. I hate fights that look staged, I just want them to look real and there’s certain things that are based in the reality of cop training and things that you do in certain situations. Like stepping backwards and turning. And it’s kind of fun to see Mara being a bad ass, knowing that she has all of these lives and experience and see her take down Nathan - obviously she’s got the FBI training, she’s got all of the training and experience of all of these lives. So she takes down Nathan and chokes him which is super fun. And we had to figure out how to make it super quick and organic and fast, without making anyone look bad. Making everyone look cool and smart, and not doing something hokie and stagey that looks like a bad karate scene or something. SP: So one of the big things to talk about in terms of how this looks is that we switched from 35mm film to digital this year. And we lucked out in that most of these days are overcast, and that’s where the digital equipment really shines. I spent a lot of time in post colour timing and degrading this footage and adding grain and darkening it, and trying to make it not just look good, but look like film. LS: Well what’s interesting is that Eric [I assume Eric Cayla] is great in all mediums and he was very comfortable making that transition. SP: Well he had done it before. He did it on the Deadzone and even with the horrible technology they had then, the early HD which was awful, he even made that look pretty damn good. Ah, I could go into a whole clinic on why I like film way better than digital.

[Where Dwight is talking to the Barrow family with the See No Evil Monkeys on the mantlepiece] SP: We picked this house because of the creepy tree [outside] and it’s also our First AD’s house, he rented it for the year. And we built this location at his house, which was great. So it’s none of his furniture or curtains or anything, we brought in all that. SP: So these are early scenes where we get to see Dwight out on his own investigation. One of the reasons we were able to make this season as big and as interesting as we did, is different characters having their own story lines. We were sort of forced to bifuricate the shooting and giving different people their own story lines. So you get to see Dwight really follow his own investiagation, so this is one of the early Dwight scenes by himself without one of our other cast. And he really stepped up and did a great job, because he is carrying this scene and driving it forward. LS: I love how this set is set up - the photos on the wall and everything. Nothing is accidental. And the monkeys. SP: We spent a lot of time designing those monkeys. We wanted them to be old, but not so old you’d be like; Why are those on your mantel? So, a lot of monkey discussions, a lot of drawing.

[As Dwight and Duke are checking out Duke’s map] SP: I love this location. It’s right down the street from the Rope Loft where there’s lots of parties during Chester race week. And we eat dinner there about once a week. It’s also right around the corner from the yacht club and right next to our production office. And in the summertime there’s lot of boats out there. SP: This overcast look, you can see it added a lot of texture, and we added grain to this footage. Normal HD just doesn’t look this good on a sunny day. It just looks kind of flat no matter what you do to it. But we just so lucked out with this overcast weather. And Mark our Colourist really did a wonderful job this year, really chasing film and giving it that warmth and texture that film has, that digital doesn’t. But you can get it there - or get it pretty damn close, and I’m pretty damn proud of what we ended up with. This was another scene that we block shot where you kind of shoot one long scene but with different cut points. And actualy sometimes in post you end up cutting it at different points that originally intended.

[As we see the outside shot of the hospital] SP: This was an establishing shot that we shot on film a couple of years ago, and then we cut back to digital back in our standing set. LS: What was that location? SP: It’s actually a school in Mahone Bay.

[As we start to see Dave dream] SP: So these memories were a discussion point for a while.  We weren’t sure for a while exactly what he needed to be remembering, and how fast or how slow we wanted to tell the story. So after we were far enough into the season with the writers we went back and had some discussions about how much and how little we wanted to reveal there, to track with where we wanted to go. And I thought we found a really nice balance with Dave’s point of view and it just escalates all season.

[As Mara’s checking the thinny on the beach] LS: Is that a CG rock or a prop rock? SP: That is a real rock, that we brought there. We were waiting around for the tide so we moved it and as the tide went out we kept moving the rock. It was kind of a brain twister to figure out but it was also not that big of a deal once we got there. It’s very scary for everyone; how do we know there’s going to be enough sand and enough beach? And I was like; It’s gonna be great! But it was because everyone planned it so well that we knew where we were and how screwed we were at each given moment. LS: Because the challenge is that you shot [all of these scenes at this location] in 11 hours. SP: There’s sun factors and tide factors; half the beach literally goes away. [As Mara shoots Nathan] LS: This was a fun moment that Matt [I assume McGuiness] was super into, that in the middle of one of these great speeches, one of these heroic I’m-going-to-talk-you-down moments but bamm! she just shoots him. So it was really fun. I brought Lucas into the editing room one day and in there was a take where basically he winced right before the squibs go off. Because he was the one motivating the squib [the fake gun shot wound], I basically told him; we’re going to take the squib off of your line, so when you get to that line I’m not even going to say action, we’ll just take the shot. And so he knew that he was basically directing that moment, so when he got to that line he flinched and it was hysterical because you just see him totally chicken out, just this involuntary hesitation. LS: That’s good practice for him because he got to direct. SP: I really do like that scene. And that’s the end of the episode!

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 17

Warnings: Language. In-ring violence.

Once I got inside to join the others, I found them all huddled on the foamy, red rubber wrestling mat that spanned over half the room. Probably planning my demise. I dropped my duffle and belongings off in the ladies locker room on the way, and downed a lukewarm bottle of water, then with a sigh of heavy, anxious breath, I made my way to boot camp.

“Alright, chick. You good to go?” Tia was the first to speak, and I hesitated to find the right response.

“Uh, I think so? But, by the looks of you three conniving little shits, I’m not sure.” I replied as I began the series of pre-workout stretches they’d shown me.

“Willow is gonna start out with some really, really basic stuff with ya’. Simple kicks, some jab patterns, and there’s a fairly easy little takedown I want to try to show you, too. Sound like a plan, Elliott?”

“Yes, ma’am. Let’s get it going!” I loosened up my stiffening neck from side to side.

“That’s the enthusiasm, I like to see! Let’s get it on!” Willow clapped with me a firm hand to the shoulder, then proceeded to lightly massage over both my blossoming trap muscles, encouraging a calmness over me.

I spent over 6 hours in the gym that day. Not only because it was Saturday, and I sadly had nothing better to do, but I was enjoying myself. Not so much however,  the tender slash drying up on my right cheekbone from the obvious perfectly executed take down move that my overzealous friend had gone over with me. The crew wasn’t taking it lightly with me, but they also weren’t laughing me off the mats when I so clearly didn’t belong there, stammering and stumbling around for majority of the lessons. Willow reassured me not squander my progress so quickly, and that she had been very pleasantly surprised at the talent of my technique.

“I think your background with basketball is definitely behind the skill of your footwork, Liv. You’ve definitely got that natural-born athleticism in ya’.”

In spite of how flattering their compliments were, I still felt like a flopping fish out of water in this world. Their world. The Muay Thia, Jiu Jitsu combinations hadn’t been a total shit show, thankfully, and I felt fairly good about some of the little jabs I had countered with Tia, but that creeping doubt still swam through me. What the hell was I trying to prove? Was I doing this to feel closer to.. him? There wasn’t a shadow of doubt that Tia and the others wouldn’t let me get myself seriously injured, and I figured they must not see me as a total waste considering the countless hours of training they were walking me through, so I kept trucking along. Nursing the glimmering flame of excitement and the thrill of fighting that had ignited in me.

Willow sent me off to the showers with a swift smack to the rear, laughing at the wince it elicited out of me. The next afternoon would be the birthday celebration Tia had so, so, SO persistently insisted on throwing, with my actual big day falling on the Independence holiday on Monday. I painfully wondered if I’d even have the legs to move from my bed to the shower when I woke up the following morning, much less paint on a stupid, dopey party grin.

The Sunday sun had risen, along with my dead to the world slumbering body. I still smelled the lingering aroma of the lavender medicinal salts I had soaked in the day before. Once the moment I reached the apartment, and again directly before bed, hoping to maybe get some painless hours of sleep. Before I even assessed my pain level, I moved only an arm to reach for the bottle of anti-inflammatories I had brought to bed with me, knowing no doubt when I did muster the energy to make the move towards the bathroom, I’d run face first into the cement wall of soreness.

I stepped every so gingerly off the side of my heightened bedside, desperately needing to release the gallons of water I had drank the previous day per Tia’s instruction. Glancing instinctively towards the medicine cabinet mirror over the sink, I grimaced dreadfully at the bulbous cut that had slightly bruised overnight. Tia’s elbow tag to my face connected lightly, however directly on the bulging point of my cheekbone. After relieving myself, I flushed and leaned down to turn the bath handle, opening the spout, only not turning the knob much past the coolest temperature. If I was expected to rub elbows with Tia and the rest of my party guest list, I’d need to pull out all of the first aid stops for sore, tight muscles. After pouring the chilly mop bucket filled with ice to the brim into the already clear, glacier like bath water, I stepped over the side one foot at a time, sucking deep breaths to help adjust to the goosebumps multiplying over my body.

After soaking beyond the time I could stand, I emptied the tub and harshly knocked the handle to change to the hottest setting, and washed the coolness off under the scalding shower head. I rummaged through the bottom drawer of the vanity in search of the antibiotic ointment I was sure I had bought when I first moved in the place, to smear over the open slit under my eye. The gash would definitely raise whispers in public for the next few days. I was about to drop my robe and begin dressing when my phone buzzed twice on the countertop.

Andrew: Hey, birthday girl. Better come get your celebratory blend at the shop this morning, we won’t be in tomorrow. You know I can’t let The Grind bigwigs deprive their best customer of her free birthday beverage!

My favorite barista saving the day, of course. For the last two years, Andrew made it a point to treat me to a free coffee down at The Grind for my birthday. The first morning I discovered the little gem tucked away on the corner was actually my first birthday in the city. Andrew, being the employee of the year he is, chatted me up, spilled the 411 on some other little hidden treasures in the city, and insisted on welcoming me  with my choice of beverage on the house. The mousy, sweetheart was one of the good ones here in the dog-eat-dog city.

I increased the pace, and pulled the locked door closed behind me, heading down the road for my awaiting morning pick me up. I parked farther from the entrance than my usual front and center spot, hoping the still rising heat of the summer sunshine, and gentle exercise of walking may loosen up my painful, creaking joints. I pondered keenly over the idea of an actual birthday celebration since I moved to my new home here, knowing Tia would surely pull out all the bells and whistles for my day, because that’s the exceptional friend she was. Her itinerary would began with she & I shopping at our two favorite boutiques down at the square, then and early dinner with the rest of the party crowd before her final surprise of the evening. I poked and prodded at her text the night before, telling her it was of utmost importance that she fill me in so I wouldn’t have to blindly pick an outfit, but me imploring protests were all for naught.

I shook out of the growing daydream and I made the last turn into the propped open door of the shop. The morning hours were dwindling, along with the early crowd, so Andrew was able to catch my eye when I entered, the edgy wonderment on his face instantly obvious to me. I leaned over the counter, no one else in line so his attention was all mine.

“Good morning, Drewby. What’s up? I think I’ll do a mocha frap this year! I need the sugar rush!”

“You got it,” he answered, but his tone still iffy.

He walked over to his blender and began mixing and adding ice, and I turned my back to him nonchalantly scanning over the few faces left in the shop, recognizing some familiar frequent flyers. The people watching distraction was interrupted when I heard Andrew nearing behind me, clearing his throat. I was flabbergasted when I was met with his hand outstretched with my order, and an overflowing, pungently sweet bouquet of creamy pink peonies sitting on the empty bar.

“Andrew! You did not! Oh my gosh, Drew.” My screeching appreciation drawing attention in the almost otherwise soundless room.

He exhaled a heavy sigh with a raspberry sound on his lips and shifty eyes. “Wait, Liv. S-slow down for a second… they’re uh, they’re not from me.”

I tightened my brow. “Tia! That sly little bitch. I swear, she’s so beyond over the to-“ my second assumption was suddenly hushed by Andrew.

“They’re from Colton, Liv. Not Tia…”

I couldn’t make sense of my own English, native language to process his abrupt interruption. How? When? Why?

“Here, babe. There’s a card.” he pulled a white envelope from the center of the vased garden of pink. I looked to the card, then to his gaze, the card, then his gaze again. I wasn’t sure I had the clear eyes or mind to comprehend whatever he’d written in it, and did I even want to? Against my screaming better judgment, I hastily clutched it from Andrew.

Liv,

This is the least I could do. I think you said these were your favorite.

Hopefully I didn’t screw that up to.

Hopefully they make you smile.

Happy Birthday, 2-1.

Love, Colt

I recognized his unsteady, marred handwriting instantly. They were undoubtedly from him. Andrew reached over to catch the lone tear dropping down my cheek, and I cringed as he grazed over my cut in doing so.

“How, Drew? Explain.” I demanded through a sorrowfully clenched jaw. My hand chattered, clutching with the jaws of life onto the note.

“He came by at open this morning. He was waiting outside the door before I even turned the lights on,” he began with a hesitant chuckle. “When I let him in, he asked me if I thought you’d be in anytime within the next two days. He said he couldn’t find a local shop that was delivering since it was a holiday weekend, and he wanted to make sure you got them. The guy looked honestly like hell, Liv. I couldn’t say no. I mean, they’re just flowers so I thought they were innocent enough. I should’ve known. I’m sorry, I should’ve minded my own business.”

The one lonesome tear was joined now by some other escaping friends, but was it sadness? Relief? Could I truly be happy with the unforeseen gift?  What was he expecting in return? What this supposed to be his apology? Millions of demanding, uncontrollable question marks pounded my brain, nearly beating me into a foggy oblivion.

“Don’t be sorry, goodness, Andrew. That’s so, so far from necessary, honestly. Thank you for getting them to me. They’re beautiful though, aren’t they?” I sniffled, childishly wiping at my running nose with the back of my hand.

“Um, YES! That pouty little brute opened up his wallet for these. There’s got to be like, three dozen of them!” I couldn’t help but allow myself a smirk amongst my emotional chaos.

“I know, that bastard. What am I supposed to do, Drew?” I pulled the shimmering vase closer to inhale the fresh, poignant sea of pink.

“Seems like you’ve got a whole lot to think about, my friend.”    

 My 23rd birthday came and went, Tia’s careful and thorough celebration checklist passed with smooth sailing. She hadn’t overlooked a single, miniscule detail from the champagne she had chilling for us when we arrived at our first shopping destination, to the heinous pink boa she snaked around my neck when we were seated with our guests at dinner downtown at the snazzy surf-and-turf, apparently very happening restaurant, concluding from the hordes of hungry customers waiting out front to be seated. Andrew had joined with his plus one, my gym rats Austin, Willow, and Cal, who also brought his latest lady endeavor, the clerk who assisted us earlier at the boutique, she and I had become friendly as of late, Kate from my apartment building, and of course Tia’s on again-off again boy toy, Ethan.  My small circle was all there to shower me with gifts, hugs, and probably three too many birthday shots.

I couldn’t hide the rousing satisfaction I felt having all my cherished ones together in one room. Almost all. I’d have given a thousand sacrifices to have had Sara sharing the moment. And of course, well, you know who, as well. I attempted to contact him via text to express my reluctant gratitude, however the message never connected. He’d either gotten a new number in the passing year and a half, or I had been added to the block list…

That night ended with my best friend absolutely taking the cake. Her well-kept last event of the night turned out to be a concert on the outskirts of the city at a new outdoor amphitheater. We spent roughly 3 hours under the breezy Pittsburgh, summer sky being serenated under the dim stars by Gavin Degraw, a lifelong favorite of mine. The expectation surpassing performance finished with a literal bang as uproarious fireworks echoed over the grounds, colors I didn’t know I could see in the sky exploded continuously. I nearly considered caving in to Tia’s repetitive, forward romantic advances towards me and kissed her out of overwhelming appreciation for the weeks of finalizing she’d exerted into the whole night, along with the amounts of cash she’d spilled out, I’m sure. When I settled at home in the wee hours, I melted into bed for some much desired rest. The pink, cascading bouquet of peonies on my nightstand being my last conscious vision before nodding off. They had almost sang me to sleep that night. All 32 of them. I counted. 

TAGS: @torialeysha @eap1935

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Ruby Rose

This is a reposting from Sept. 22nd, 2017 in an effort to get all my recaps onto tumblr. Thanks!

I am combat ready! Or at least writing ready. For ages now I've wanted to tackle a comprehensive recap/analysis of each RWBY webisode and what better time to start then a few weeks before Volume 5? Though I'll mostly be sticking to plot points as they occur chronologically, any new RWBY viewers should be aware that recaps will include spoilers, mostly in the form of referencing foreshadowing and parallels. Read at your own risk. 

Let's get started.

Our series technically opens with four trailers (which you can no more skip than Doctor Who fans can skip Nine), but for the purposes of this recap we're saying that we start the show off with an origin tale. A fairy tale, if you will. Our very first shot is of a high tower decked out in green, beacon-like lights that I'm sure are in no way symbolic standing atop it.

Our narrator, an unknown woman, begins with a cryptic message:

“Legends, stories scattered through time. Mankind has grown quite fond of recounting the exploits of heroes and villains, forgetting so easily that we are remnants, byproducts of a forgotten past.”

Obviously not everyone has forgotten these legends, considering that she's the one telling us them, but right from the start there's a dichotomy set up. There are people, humans, who view the past as something that inherently includes them. Any myths that are passed down are about humans--they're the "exploits of heroes and villains." However, this woman reminds us that there was an existence long before mankind was created; that the world, its history, and its power is far more vast than we're willing to acknowledge. Or able to. 

We're small in comparison. We're just "remnants" of something far larger.

(Also, interestingly, note the "we" in "we are remnants." We learn a lot about Salem later on and no matter how she might look or act, she seems to view herself as human.)

From there on we're given the story of man's creation. Born from dust into an "unforgiving world" already populated by monsters, were it not for their discovery of certain elements--a power that they named "dust" after their own origins--they never would have survived, let alone flourished. Power allowed for civilization. As the story supposedly resolves, we get a change in animation style, moving from the story-book imagery to the real world. The focus on a shattered moon suggests that, despite humanity’s success, things are not all peachy-keen.

Also, enter these guys.

This is Roman and I just love his entrance. RWBY is a show that is very overt in its tropes and homages, and though there's complexity later on, for now Roman and his goons are pretty straight-forward. They're Bad. How do we know they're Bad? Because they're creeping out of the shadows late at night. We've got this guy smoking in an age where the habit is thoroughly demonized. All his goons are pretty identical in true, gangster fashion and Roman himself is the most flamboyantly dressed, drawing on a long (and very problematic) tradition of queer-coding villains. He's wearing a bowler hat for heaven's sake, which is basically just a step up from a fedora.

He's also a redhead. That'll be important.... later.

For now, Roman struts down the street (giving us a hilarious first-look at RWBY's silhouette background characters) and Salem changes her tone, suddenly sounding far more menacing as she lays out humanity's inevitable destruction. All lights "flicker and die" and we're warned that "there will be no victory in strength." The only thing that keeps the scene from becoming depression central is the introduction of a new voice, a man's that--if you're paying attention--you'll recognize later in the episode:

"But perhaps victory is in the smaller things that you've long forgotten. Things that require a smaller, more honest soul."

Pan down to this cutie.

Wow! I wonder who the small, honest soul could be? 

(Also take note of the ad on the back of the magazine: the Schnee logo with the tagline "The Finest of them All." Weiss, based off of Snow White, is therefore "the fairest of them all." Or at least she thinks she is.)

Roman barges in and starts talking about how hard it is to find a dust shop open this late which... raises a number of questions for me? Like why they're looking for a dust shop that's open at all. Why not just wait until everything is closed down and then rob the place? It certainly wouldn't be hard to break in. Given what we know of the villains' larger plans in Volume 3, it could be that they want to sow fear in the people of Vale by committing robberies in plain sight (recall the horrified background characters as Roman walks by), but if so why not actually attack in broad daylight? Overall it just seems like a strange comment.

We're given our first glimpse of Roman as an ambivalent villain as he refuses the shopkeeper's money. He's here only to complete his mission of stealing dust, not entirely wipe the guy out so... yay, I guess?

One of the goons notices our little red riding hood and pulls a sword on her, which is kind of hilarious. I'm not even sure why. Maybe it's because right after that a different goon pulls out a gun which is obviously the more logical weapon here. But no. Goon #1 needs his massive, red sword to threaten the small child with.

Small Child is not impressed.

"Are you robbing me?"

"Yes!"

"Ooooh."

And she proceeds to kick him from the back of the store all the way into the far wall.

Let's take a moment to appreciate Roman's dafaq face here:

This is a technique nearly two decades old. Everyone knows the story of how Buffy got started. Whedon wanted a stereotypical heroine--small, cute, blonde--but who, rather than getting killed by the monster in the alleyway, ends up being the very thing that the monster should fear. It's an oldie now, but a goodie. We're presented with this tiny, adorable girl who is characterized as a victim, only to find that she's the one with the most power. Not only can she kick a full-grown man across a room, she's got some crazy weaponry tucked away too.

This is, by definition, a badass moment.

As we see in the ensuing fight this little girl is very proficient with her scythe. There's a great moment as her headphones play "This Will Be the Day" diegetically, only for the song to move into non-diegetic soundtrack, and then back to diegetic music as she turns off her headphones and... they disappear? Presumably she has pockets.

Iffy animation aside, RWBY seems like the kind of world that would give its girls pockets.

Roman: "Okay... get her."

That little moment of confusion--Roman's disbelieving "Okay?"--seems a little like inconsistent world-building. Certainly he knows that Signal and Beacon aren't too far from here, meaning that there are lots of teenagers around, Huntsmen and Huntresses in training that are capable of kicking his henchmen's ass. Is he just thrown off guard by this girl's (even younger) age? Who can say.

Regardless, she handles all the goons with ease. Ruby (yeah, let's just use all names for simplicity's sake) has a direct and efficient fighting style. This is our first glimpse into the maturity hiding behind a seemingly immature outer shell. Ruby doesn't take the time to taunt the goons or get all flashy with her fighting, she just takes them out, pure and simple, something that young and confident heroes often struggle with. Roman proves a little harder though when his cane turns out to be a gun.

Lesson One: pretty much everything in RWBY is a gun. Cane? Gun. Scythe? Gun. Thermos? Gun! That lamp? Probably also a gun.  

As Roman escapes we get another glimpse of Ruby's priorities when she asks the storekeeper, "Are you okay if I go after him?" It's a small but wonderful moment that tells us Ruby isn't a hero who wants to fight for the sake of fighting, at least outside of friendly competitions. Had the storekeeper been injured or needed her for some other reason, Ruby would have held his needs above just catching the bad guys. That's important.

So, having gotten the a-okay, Ruby chases Roman up to the rooftops and we hear his annoyed (yet impressed?) mutter of, "Persistent." Just as they're about to duke it out again an airship arrives that Roman boards, throwing out a dust crystal that explodes when he shoots it. It looks like Ruby might have been caught in the blast, but at the last possible second Glynda Mother-F***ing Goodwitch arrives to save the day.

Why was she out in town this late at night? How did she feel seeing some tiny child fighting a notoriously wanted criminal up on the rooftop? These are questions only fanfic can answer. The point is that Glynda saves Ruby not once, but twice, all while exhibiting a truly impressive amount of power. It's here that we first get to see not just fantasy weapons, but what we might term magic (in what will quickly become a fairly convoluted magical system). It isn’t until later that we realize others don’t consider Glynda’s abilities to be magic, though given what we now know about semblances and their assumed connection to Humanity 1.0, it’s perhaps no coincidence that the audience is meant to think this is magic at first glance. But telekinesis--the ability to manipulate anything from objects to the weather itself--is staggering nonetheless and the show should really give Glynda something else to do with her power besides fixing craters and broken buildings. Or just bring her back, period. 

Glynda even makes a little "Humph" sound when she blocks the blast like, "Please. You'll have to try harder than that."

They do.

Roman yells to the pilot that they have a "Huntress" to deal with and we're given glimpses of a more important villain: fancy dress, high heels, strange tattoo on her back, and an affinity for fire. She's deemed important simply by the fact that the 'camera' always keeps her face hidden from view, inviting speculation as to who she is and what her motives are. Though she and Glynda seem pretty evenly matched (with Ruby joining in to help), Roman flies them out of there before things get more heated. Pun intended.

As a side note, it’s worth pointing out that, in retrospect, we did just see magic with Cinder... which we then assume for a very long stretch was her semblance given what we quickly learn about Glynda. You can see why this stuff gets muddled. The fact that Ruby, a bright and fighting obsessed girl, doesn’t seem to think it odd that someone can shoot fire just hammers home how not magic-y these abilities read to characters in world. Until the plot suddenly wants them to. AKA bird anger. 

Regardless, as the viewer cheers at the rarity of three women dominating a fight scene, Ruby has bigger things to think about. Like the fact that Glynda is a Huntress and Ruby just has to have an autograph.

Cut from this:

To this:

Humor aside, this actually does a lot for situating what a Huntress is in the viewer's mind. We might not have an exact definition yet, but we know two important things: they're on the side of our small hero (Glynda protects Ruby) and they're regarded as at least minor celebrities. In short, they're the Big Good to the mysterious Big Bad.

They’re also, as we’re about to see, subject to the law. 

But back to Ruby. See that spotlight? Glynda has this 15yo girl in an interrogation room, prowling about while lecturing that she "put herself and others in grave danger." Interesting. What others were in danger? Civilians? Looks like everyone else cleared the streets once Roman showed up. The shopkeeper? As said, Ruby was very careful about making sure he was okay. Normally I’d be 100% on Glynda’s side here, but I think Ruby actually acted very maturely given the circumstances. Especially considering that she’s right: they started it. Glynda’s generic reprimands might imply that there are many non-Huntsmen trained fighters out there making a mess of things (at least by Glynda's standards). Certainly we later see conflict between trained Huntsmen/Huntresses and those who learned to fight "outside the kingdom." 

Also... just reminding everyone... that Glynda uses a riding crop. Rooster Teeth had to know the can of worms they were opening with that little choice. If you don't want porn of the deputy headmistress and various other characters, don't dress her like a dominatrix and give her lines like, "I'd have sent you home with a pat on the back... and a slap on the wrist!"

Glynda is very serious that Ruby would be in big trouble if it weren't for the fact that a certain someone wants to meet her. Enter my trash fave:

Ozpin.

He's basically Dumbledore if he actually had better justifications for his iffy decisions and looked like a hot 30yo. My priorities aside, more fascinating questions start cropping up. How long has Ruby been held in this room? What was that conversation between Glynda and Ozpin like--Hey, I found this random child who nearly took out a whole criminal gang, that seems like your kind of thing? Why does Ozpin arrive with a full plate of chocolate chip cookies? Did he bake them himself? Does Ruby ever get Glynda’s autography?

These kinds of questions are the lifeblood of fandom.

As an aside, I'm a complete animation snob. I've been spoiled by too many great artists to immediately accept just anything you throw up on screen. When I first watched this episode and saw Crunchy Roll's review that RWBY is "lovely to look at" my response was, "...seriously?" This moment, when Ozpin gives Ruby the cookies and they proceed to just disappear as they approach her mouth was my breaking point for a while. I had to be talked into watching more... and I'm so glad I was. Now, after years with these characters, I have a much deeper appreciation for the art style and the beauty that RWBY contains. Now the cookie scene is just straight up funny to me.

Back to plot though. Ozpin introduces himself by introducing Ruby. We get her name for the first time and as Ozpin peers down at her he says, "You have... silver eyes," which confuses Ruby and has the viewer nodding sagely. Yep. That'll come back later.

Ozpin reviews Ruby's fight and wants to know where she learned all that. More specifically, he wants to know who taught her to use "one of the most dangerous weapons ever designed," which is another fascinating moment that I think is largely overlooked by the fandom. Ruby is living in a world chock-full of crazy dangerous weaponry. Already we've seen a gun-cane and a riding crop used as a wand. The fact that Ozpin labels Ruby's sniper-scythe as one of the most dangerous not only re-emphasizes her skill, but hints that the scythe may be a particularly powerful weapon... one even he might favor. Though we later get to see Ozpin fight with his cane and he clearly prefers that form, we've yet to get a full explanation for those gears in it:

In retrospect after Volume 6, there’s little evidence that his cane turns into a full other weapon, but it was an cool theory for a while. 

Ruby says proudly that her Uncle Qrow taught her everything and that she's currently a student at Signal Academy.

Ozpin: "And what's an adorable girl like you doing at a school designed to train warriors?"

Ruby: "Well... I want to be a Huntress."

Ozpin: "You want to slay monsters?"

Ruby: "Yeah."

Ruby launches into an excited speech about following in her big sister's footsteps, looking for a career that's more "romantic" than the police, and above all getting to help people. Watching Ozpin in this scene gives us a pretty clear view into his thoughts: his shock at Ruby's proficiency with the scythe, making sure he's reading the situation correctly (this small, adorable child wants to fight evil?), his look of approval as Ruby tries to explain her thinking. There's even what I read as a little test. "You want to slay monsters?" A major theme in RWBY is that people are the real monster, the biggest threat, and it takes Ruby a long time to learn that. To semi-quote Sirius, the world isn't split into good people and Grimm. Though Ruby doesn't realize this yet--she just implies that she wants to fight Grimm--her skill and pure intentions (which will come into play later during "Mountain Glenn") are enough for Ozpin to offer her a place at Beacon two years early. As we learn later, as an added bonus this also helps keep her safe. Those with silver eyes are hunted and Ruby has not been keeping a low profile. 

"You want to come to my school? Well... okay."

One of these teachers is happier about this situation than the other.

It’s pretty amazing though.

Yang thinks it's amazing too. We jump ahead an unspecified amount of time to meet Ruby's half-sister on the airship to Beacon. I adore their interaction here because so often media limits sibling relationships to arguing and competition. Not so with these two. Yang isn't at all jealous that her little sister is getting special treatment. Ruby is the only one with issues:

Ruby: "I got moved ahead two years... I just don't want people to think I'm special or anything."

Yang: "But you are special."

Ruby just wants to be a normal girl with normal knees. No bee's knees allowed.

As Ruby begins struggling with her new situation we get Roman's name in a news bulletin, along with a hilariously different art style.

We also get reference to people called "Faunus" who possess animal traits, their civil rights movement, and the violent organization called the White Fang that recently interfered in a peaceful protest. The bulletin is cut off by a holographic Glynda's welcome.

Yang: "Who's that?"

Glynda's hologram introduces herself immediately after, but I find it funny that Ruby doesn't even look like she's going to try and answer. As if she hadn't met and fought alongside Glynda just a little while ago. Also. Ruby knew exactly who Ozpin was. Didn't have a clue about Glynda. Poor Professor Goodwitch does all the work around Beacon and receives none of the credit lol.  

I actually really like Glynda's speech here though. She's welcoming to the students without coddling them. Like other shows with children entering combat, RWBY lets the viewer know that we can't always apply our real-world morality to these situations. These kids might be young--17 years old and 15 in Ruby's case--but they're going to be treated like adults for as long as that’s logical. As we’ll see later though, there’s a distinct difference between responsibility inside school and out... 

Right before our pilot ends we're introduced to Jaune, or the name we know him by so far, "Vomit Boy." The webisode ends on a light note with Jaune getting puke on Yang's shoes and the two sisters freaking out about it. We're also given our first, gorgeous look at Beacon:

Now that’s animation I can get behind. Everything is light and happy. Ah, they have no idea the horror that's coming for them. Just wait until Volume 3.

Until then, 💚

[merigreenleaf]

AU Tuesday - “Stuck With You” Part 9

(For AU Tuesday I’m writing a multi-part story about all five of my main characters using the prompt: “A [platonic] soulmate AU where you have a black stain where your soulmate is supposed to touch you for the first time and it turns to millions of colors once they do.” The events are all [or mostly] canon to the series; the only real change are the soul-marks. These can really be read in any order because each part pretty much stands on its own. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 10.)

-------------------------------

Sol shoved the pile of half-finished toothpick sculptures aside until there was a big, empty space on his worktable perfect for his Plan. It was a great plan. He fixed performers’ props all the time and there was no way he could mess this up. There was only one problem: he didn’t have the prop yet. It wouldn’t be a secret anymore if he went and got it because everyone would wonder what he was doing in Blythe’s house. Well, Blythe’s and Dray’s and Adair’s house, since they both lived in her wagon now, too. Every day Sol asked Adair to move in with him because that would be like a sleepover all the time, but Adair kept saying no, saying that Blythe’s wagon had a bigger pantry and space for the easel she’d bought him. It wasn’t fair, Sol should rank above food and art supplies. Maybe if he built a really smarfy thing that was part bed, part studio, part kitchen, Adair would move in.

Adair! That was the perfect way to get the prop! Adair could pretend to grab his paint or something, then sneak out with it when he left. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that he lived over there.

“Hey, buddy? Do you know where Dray keeps their props? Can you get me their staff?”

A few feet away Adair was doing his best oversized magpie impression in the very well-enforced nest that was Sol’s bed. Much like Sol had done to the desk, Adair had pushed Sol’s collection of metallic odds and ends and broken pieces of appliances to the side. Sol craned his neck to see what he was drawing in his sketchbook, but Adair closed it and set it on top of the nest-pile before he could get a good look. “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

Sol tugged the sculpture of Adair’s cat free from his arm and put the lid on the glue jar before grinning at Adair. “I’m gonna fix it up for them. Dray’s gonna love it!”

Adair shrugged and headed out the door while Sol went into planning mode. The staff had looked a little dingy and scratched up when Dray danced with it last night. That would have been almost acceptable for a tinkerer like Sol-- until he saw the struggle Dray had separating the pieces to take it apart. It was then that Sol had his brilliant Plan. He’d take Dray’s beat up old staff and fix it up so that it was like new. Better than new! He wasn’t the carnival troupe’s resident inventor for nothing!

Plus Dray seemed so gloomy and sad that Sol wanted to do something to cheer them up. He’d wanted to meet Blythe’s sibling ever since he learned she had one because Sol’s own sibling was great so that must mean that Blythe’s was, too. And then he met Dray. Maybe Dray was great, somewhere under all the cynicism and frowns, but they kept to themself and didn’t really talk to Sol or anyone. Okay, Etri was like that, too, but that was just because he was shy and Blythe had never said anything about Dray being shy. What Dray needed was something to make them feel welcome and Sol knew he was the one who could do it, especially with Adair here to help.

How had he gotten by before Adair sleepwalked into the carnival? Adair didn’t mind holding down things Sol was hammering or grabbing stuff Sol forgot to have ready or taking emergency midnight trips into the city with him to dive through dumpsters. Sometimes his drawings even gave Sol ideas. And since Adair wasn’t here to use it right now, now would be the perfect time to go through his sketchbook! Sol flopped onto the bed and grabbed the book. For a moment the nest teetered, but when only a few pieces of scrap metal clattered to the floor, Sol made himself comfortable and started flipping through the pages. A sketch of a bullfrog, this one probably won’t be helpful… detailed study of a paintbrush tip, no, not this one either… a rough drawing of Dray dancing? Maybe this one would be…

A red sequined bag dropped into his lap. “Is this the right one? Dray’s got a ton of prop bags and they all look the same.”

Maybe if he combined this drawing of a bullfrog with that old cuckoo clock he found, he could make something that croaked the hour. “Huh?”

Adair took the sketchbook from his hands and replaced it with the strap of the bag. “Remember? You asked me to get the staff so you could fix it. Is this the right one?”

“That’s right! Dray’s surprise!” Sol jumped off the bed too fast and stumbled as he slung the strap over his shoulder. The bag swung around and smacked Adair in the head. No wonder Blythe always said he needed to slow down before he hurt himself. Hurting Adair was worse than hurting himself! Adair was his important. He felt for a bump on Adair’s head and didn’t feel anything. Was that a good sign? Would there be a bump already? Sol hurt himself on a daily basis but he wasn’t really sure how Blythe figured out when he needed to be healed and when he needed to be shooed out the door. “Sorry! Does it hurt? Do you need to go to Blade? She always tells me to watch where I’m going and she’s probably right-”

Adair ducked down and out of his reach. “I’m fine. But are you sure you should do this without asking?”

Sol blinked at him. “Hit you in the head?”

“No. I mean, yeah, don’t do that, but I meant fix Dray’s prop without asking. Dray’s really… enthusiastic about their props. I swear they were baby talking to their fire swords this morning. It was kind of weird.”

Sol peeked inside the bag. Adair had picked right despite his constant confusion about props. He called pretty much everything vaguely rod-shaped a baton. In Adair’s defense, all of his paintbrushes looked the same to Sol, and he had yet to hand Adair the right one he asked for. Maybe if he used Adair’s paint to color-code them all… Right, Adair had said something about carnies being weird. “Weird? Oh, with props. All carnies are like that. Etri’s favorite knife is named Pokey. Well, when I say it’s named, I mean I call it that, he doesn’t, but I bet if I do it long enough he’ll pick up on it. It worked with Blythe’s boots Kicky and Kicko.”

“And you’re sure it’s okay to fix it without asking?”

Adair trailed after him and sat on the step stool while Sol took the three pieces of the staff out of the bag. The stool was there so Adair could reach the table built for Sol’s height, but Adair was iffy about using it. Sometimes it was fine, sometimes his fear of heights was too much and Sol had to work on the floor with him instead. That was okay. Having a friend to help was worth way more than a table that was usually covered in last week’s Big Plan anyway.

“I’m not gonna hurt it, just make it better. Like Blade does when we get hurt.”

“But that’s different.”

Sol eyed the staff before connecting and unconnecting two of the parts. They did drag each time instead of sliding silently together and the catch was funny. It was a wonder Dray had put up with this because Sol would have gotten it fixed a long time ago. If he sanded it down and then soldered on a different connector, it should come together much smoother. “It’s not different. She’s a healer to broken people, I’m a healer to broken things. We both fix things. The difference is, she can’t make broken people shoot spikes or ignite with the push of a button, and I can! I mean things, not people. I can’t make people shoot spikes. But things like this staff – Ooh! Maybe I can make the staff ignite! And shoot spikes! And then ignite the spikes! And then-”

“Okay, yeah, I guess that makes sense. You go do that and I’ll… umm… be over here.” Adair retreated to his nest, which Sol thought was a little silly because it wasn’t like he’d added the spikes yet. Maybe if Adair sat there long enough, though, one of Sol’s piles of scrap would hatch into a little trash vulture or something. Sol could train it to pick through junk heaps, and perch on his shoulder, and say important words like “hello” and “smarfy” and “look out, Blythe’s coming.” 

But first the staff. No sooner had Sol pushed the third piece into place when a voice that wasn’t Adair’s rang across the wagon, “You thief!”

The staff dropped to the table with a clatter. Sol glanced over his shoulder and, not seeing anyone there, lifted his arm to see in the blind spot caused by his biceps. There Dray stood with their hands on their hips, wearing a scowl so much like Blythe’s that Sol wanted to hide despite Dray being half his size. “Wh-where?”

Unlike Blythe, Dray’s furious expression and hands-on-hips didn’t turn into foot-tapping or counting. Sol hated when Blythe counted at him. It make him lose track of his thoughts every time and that meant never knowing what it was she wanted him to stop doing. Dray glared up from the level of Sol’s elbow. “I’m looking at him. You took it.”

Dray wasn’t all that scary, really, not after knowing Blythe for so long. If all they were going to do was stand there and accuse Sol of… something… without even throwing numbers at him, Sol was going to get back to work. He picked up the staff again and ran his thumb over the second connector. “I took what?”

“That! That right there!”

“This?” Sol looked at the staff, then back at Dray. It turned out he didn’t need counting to lose track of what they were arguing about. Huh, you learn something new every day. “What about this?”

“That!” Dray took their hands from their hips so that they could gesture at the staff. “You took that!”

“I took this?”

“Yes! You took my staff!”

Oh! Now Sol remembered why Dray was here. It was Dray’s staff that he was going to make shoot flaming spikes. He grinned at Dray and nodded. “Yeah! Yeah, I took your staff.”

There was a brief pause between them, then Dray cleared their throat. “Well? Can I have it back now?”

“You mean the staff?” Sol pointed at the staff with the hand that wasn’t holding it. He wanted to be clear that Dray wasn’t talking about something else.

“Of course I mean the staff!” Dray gestured wildly toward the ceiling now. “What else have I been asking about since I came in here?”

“But I’m not done with it yet. I have to be a healer to it because it’s a broken thing and I fix broken things.”

“There’s nothing broken about my staff.”

Dray lunged for it and Sol reflexively lifted it up above his head. His knuckles scraped the ceiling and it hurt a little, but he knew Dray wouldn’t be able to reach it. If Dray would stop yelling, Sol could have had this done five minutes ago. Maybe not the spikes yet, that might take a while, but the fixing part would be finished. “Yes there is! I have to sand it down and solder on a new catch so it slides together better--”

“Give. Me. My. Staff.”

“--And it doesn’t shoot spikes or light them on fire yet--”

“It’s not supposed to do that, you goon!” Dray hopped onto the step stool and reached for the staff, their fingertips falling short yet close enough that Sol feared they'd be able to grab it if they jumped.

Sol needed to make Dray understand. It was a present to make them happy and now they were just about the opposite of happy. Or was sad the opposite of happy? Dray wasn't sad anymore, and that was what Sol had been going for, but angry wasn't what he wanted either. “But it was going to! It was going to be a surprise and now I told you and it’s not a surprise anymore.”

“What do you mean ‘surprise’?” Dray planted their foot on Sol’s shin and grabbed onto one of his shoulders. Within seconds they had clambered up Sol’s torso.

“I’m fixing your staff. …Surprise!” Despite Dray’s display of human parkour, Sol was having fun. Hey, maybe Dray would want to start an acrobatic act with him. Now that Etri was going to be Adair’s sentinel, he probably wouldn’t be performing much and Sol was going to need a new partner.

“It. Doesn’t. Need. Fixed.” Dray hoisted their way up past his shoulders until they sat astride the back of his neck. Sol waved the staff around, wondering how well Dray could keep their balance. He was pretty sure they were holding on entirely with their knees.

The door to the wagon swung open followed by a voice Sol knew all too well. “Freeze, you two!”

Sol spun so that both of them were facing the shadows standing in the doorway and he was pleased when Dray didn’t even totter. Maybe this could work! He’d have to ask Etri about his future plans and if he’d mind Sol taking on a new partner. He’d have to ask Dray, too, of course, but maybe they--

That was when he realized Blythe was still addressing them in what Sol thought of her “stop-screwing-around” voice. He had no choice but to hand Dray the staff, which they snatched with a gleeful cackle, so he could pluck them from his shoulders and set them on the floor. Adair stood next to Blythe and it took Sol a worried minute to realize he was turning red because he was trying not to laugh. What was so funny?

“Well, I’d say that’s unexpected, but I should have seen it coming when I heard you two bickering. Dray, do you always activate marks by getting into fights?”

What was she talking about? Sol glanced down at Dray to see if they had any idea. Dray must have taken his attention the wrong way because they glared and swung the staff behind their back to put it out of reach.

Adair had returned to his normal shade of brown when he nudged Blythe’s arm. “Can I tell them both? Please? Pretty please?”

Blythe sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. “This is going to be a bad pun again, isn’t it? Every time you ask, it’s always a bad pun.”

“There’s no such thing as a bad pun.” Adair gestured with both hands at Sol and Dray. “I guess this means they’re sole-mates.”

“I knew it. That’s the same dumb pun you’ve been making since you met Sol.”

“No, it’s not! The other was about Sol. This one’s completely different. I mean, it does make them sole-mate Sol-mate soulmates, but it’s a completely different joke.”

“Oh no,” Dray muttered under their breath.

Sol just stared at Adair. If he waited long enough, maybe Adair would stop saying his name and explain what was going on. To his relief Adair came over and poked him in the side, but his words weren’t any more helpful. “You two must have got off on the wrong foot, huh?”

Blythe and Dray groaned in tandem. Why was Adair talking so much about feet?

“You’re going to be together through thick and shin now, I’ll bet.”

Huh?

Dray held out a hand as though to keep Adair at a distance. “Enough is enough. Sol, he means look at your leg, you doof.”

Finally someone was making sense. Sol did as he was told. The long black soulmark on the front of his leg had changed into the same rainbow of the other marks on his body. He’d always thought the mark looked a little like a footprint and… that was why Adair kept making all the feet comments! Dray’s matching mark to his must be on the bottom of their foot, like Etri and Blythe’s were on their hands and Adair’s was on his back. Maybe Dray would want to share an act with him because they were destined to be important to each other. He let out a whoop and picked Dray up in a bear hug to spin them around. This was great! Now he knew who all of his importants were!

Dray’s only reaction to this was to sigh when Sol put them back on the ground and to tug the wrinkles from their shirt. “I guess it could be worse. Pun-boy over there could be one of my soulmates.”

Adair stuck his tongue out, which Dray ignored.

“Now that I know I’m stuck with you and you weren’t going to steal it, I suppose I can let you have this.” Dray held out the staff only to snatch it back when Sol went to take it. “Under one condition. You only fix it up so it works better. No spikes and absolutely no flaming spikes.”

“Can I at least make the wicks self-ignite when you push the button? I really want to make it have a button that does something smarfy.”

Dray hesitated, but handed it over. “I’m going to regret this. I know I’m going to regret this. Just be careful with it.”

There was no doubt about it. Sol had the best importants! He met Adair’s eyes and didn’t have to say a word. Adair knew exactly what he wanted. “I’ll go move the rest of the toothpicks off the table.”

--------------------------

(My husband gets co-writer credit this week because he helped me out with writing that argument and then acted it out for me. He’s a goofball! Anyway, I have two chapters left in this story and next week it’s a Dray POV. :)  As always, if you want to be taken off the list of people I tag when I share stories, let me know. If you want to be added to the list, also let me know. And please definitely do tag me when you share stories and excerpts and things, too! @ageekyreader  @lynnafred @the-gay-hufflepuff @firewritten @joshuaorrizonte @writtenhastily @writerlydays @ava-burton-writing @josephmxa @megan-cutler @dragonscanbeplantstoo @alittle-writer @perringwrites @an-author-in-progress @aceduchessdragoness @madmooninc @thatwriternamedvolk @elliot-orion @wchwriter @lady-redshield-writes @shadow-maker @zachdoesawriting @blogherosix @reeseweston @bluemartlet @pen-for-sword  @writer-on-time )

[gaiatheorist]

Guns.

Hello, I’m mentally unstable, and I have access to a gun. Don’t hit the panic button, my ‘condition’, whatever it is, is broadly manageable, and I’m in the UK, we don’t have assault rifles. (I have fired an assault rifle, it was an SA-80, on a school trip to Strensall army barracks.) I genuinely don’t know the make or model of ‘my’ air rifle, I haven’t touched it in years, I doubt I’d be able to load it now, with the hand-thing, and the eyes-thing. I’d consider selling it, to buy more beans, but I don’t really know the legalities of selling-on an air rifle. It was bought second-hand, I think the ex paid about £100 for it, from some bloke who knew some other bloke on the allotments. Always the status-things with him, one birthday, he bought me night-sights for it “So we can stay on the allotment later, you won’t have to pack up when it gets dark.” Who says romance is dead, when the man in your life buys you a gadget so you can stand for even longer in a freezing cold mud-bath, shooting rats? The sights/scope/whatever never came out of the box, my fingers aren’t particularly obedient at the best of times, fiddling tiny metal pellets into the slide-thingy of the rifle in the cold, and the dark was never going to happen. We’ll file that one under ‘I married a gibbon.’

It’s the ‘status’ thing that’s really messing with my head. The gibbon started off with someone else’s old air rifle, then upgraded to a ludicrously expensive one, and added all the gadgets, so he could pretend to be GI Joe. Watching someone else shoot rats isn’t really much of a hobby, and the kid and I would be repeatedly ‘shushed’, and told to keep still. It’s genuinely a miracle that he never shot the dog, because the dog didn’t keep quiet or still, the dog chased rats, and barked at fence-posts. The dog is an idiot, but he did kill a lot of rats. Eventually realising that the kid and I were bored senseless standing still, and being quiet, GI Gibbon, complete with his red headlight (rats can’t see red light, apparently, I don’t know whether that’s true?) decided we should ALL shoot rats. (Poison was iffy, with the idiot-dog, and free-ranging hens, ducks, and geese, we did set traps, but one trap only kills one rat, and it’s pretty grim emptying the trap the following day, when the other rats have eaten the trapped rat, leaving a weird rat-suit in the trap.)

Splendid, a ‘family hobby’, except it wasn’t, it was pest control, we were spending upwards of £20 a week on bird-food, and, even with enclosed feeders, the rats were still swarming in for the spillage. Some nights there was a veritable carpet-of-rats, it’s a good thing I’m not squeamish. (I’m actually less squeamish than the gibbon, I’d batter a rat to death with anything that came to hand, he preferred the clean-distance of the rifles.) Every single evening, for a fair few years. In from work, check whether the kid has any homework, buzz around the house tidying up and making dinner, eat dinner, clean up after dinner while the gibbon ‘relaxes’ on the sofa, and then out to the mud-bath to collect eggs, and shoot rats. That’s why we had guns. (I did once earn massive kudos from a gang of ne’er-do-wells on the next allotment, I’d rolled and lit a cigarette, nonchalantly shot a rat clean through the eye-socket, flicked the dead rat over the fence with some old barbecue tongs, paused for a drag on the cigarette, and then re-loaded. NOBODY is used to women-like-me.) 

Shooting rats is boring, you’d manage to pick off a couple, and then the rest would smell the fear-blood, and bugger off to raid an allotment where people weren’t shooting at them. The gibbon actually wanted to build a gun-tower, and do overnight rat-shooting. No, thank you, see previous point, once the rats can smell the death, it doesn’t matter how much food is spilled, or how many fancy gadgets you have on your rifle, they’re not going to come back until the blood of their former comrade cools down, and stops smelling of “Oh, shit, I’m dead.” (Once it cools, they think it’s food, they’re opportunistic scavengers.) I was an OK shot, I hit more than I missed, and I ALWAYS hit the head, there’s nothing quite like a squealing gut-shot rat dragging entrails all over the place, while you try to stop your idiot-dog making it into an intestines-and-fur jigsaw. 

(Oh dear, I’ve just remembered ‘pancake rat.’ The kid had shot a rat, in the head, as I’d taught him, and, when he approached the mostly-dead rodent, I assumed he was going to throw it over the fence. The allotment backed onto a farmer’s field, and the ditch between the allotment fences and the field was our only ‘security’ against the regular break-ins. We had 8ft chicken-wire fences, with barbed wire on top on all sides, realistically, all the smack-heads would have needed was wire-cutters, and a bit of patience, but smack-heads don’t think straight, on more than one occasion they’d spent time breaking through the heavily fortified gate, when the chicken-wire at the side of it would have gone through with a couple of good kicks. The open field was a weak-point security-wise, even before the reprobates managed to get themselves trapped in a fenced-in area with three geese. It appeared to be accepted practice on the allotments to throw ‘stuff’ in the metre-gap between the back fences and the ditch, to act as obstacles for thieves. ‘Stuff’ included broken glass, rusty barbed wire, anything broken, bagged-up dog-shit, and dead rats. The kid didn’t pick up the rat and throw it over the fence, he re-loaded, and shot it again. I assumed he’d aimed badly the first time, and was finishing off the job. Then he re-loaded, and shot it again. He was literally on top of the rat, he couldn’t miss from that range, so I approached, to see what he was up to.

“Have you killed it?”

“Yes, but I didn’t think it had quite enough holes in its face, so I added some more, for ventilation.”

“Right, you know we pay for the pellets, don’t you?”

“Yes. Do you think it’s dead enough now?”

I crushed the rat’s skull under the heel of my boot.

“It is, it’s flat.”

The gibbon couldn’t stand to feel left out of anything, and came over, to see what we were doing.

“Have you killed one, son? Well done!”

“Yes, I shot it, and then I decided it wasn’t holey enough, then Mum made a pancake-rat.”

I wonder how many years he’ll spend in therapy for that?)

So, we had a rifle each, for vermin control. The crossbows weren’t vermin control, they were part of the ex’s ‘Apocalypse prep’ paranoia, and I wanted nothing to do with them. I suppose he’ll be sorted if we do end up with a ‘Mad Max’ Brexit, they’re no good to me, I can’t load them. I don’t know what sort of ID he had to provide to buy crossbows, that’s really quite worrying, because he doesn’t really HAVE any ID, he bought the big crossbow before photo driving licences, and I think he ordered the ‘compact’ one online. That’s more than ‘quite worrying’, it’s terrifying, he’s generally inept, but not ‘really’ dangerous, and he could just stroll into a sporting-goods shop somewhere, and come out with a crossbow.

What I’m waffling around the edges of here is that once he had ‘a gun’, he wanted a ‘better’ gun, and when he had the ‘better’ gun, he spent an awful lot of time researching the various ways to have that gun made more powerful. He wanted me to have my rifle ‘tuned’ or ‘gassed’, or whatever it was, to make it more powerful, I refused, because all I needed the rifle to be able to do was penetrate rat-skull quickly and cleanly. There aren’t that many guns knocking about in the UK, and, as far as I am aware, there is stringent licencing and regulation around ‘real’ guns, as opposed to piffly air-rifles like mine. I remember the ex, and the old next-door neighbour chatting shit about paying half each to buy a ‘Rhino Hunter’ crossbow. I’m not going to look up the draw-weight or any other statistics for it, I’m probably on enough lists as it is. ‘Rhino Hunter.’, we don’t have wild rhinoceros in the UK, aren’t they endangered, anyway? My delusional ex, and the next door neighbour, who was under the care of various psychiatric teams were planning to buy a ludicrously high-powered crossbow. They didn’t, in the end.

There is no reason for a person living in Yorkshire to have a crossbow that may or may not be capable of taking down a rhino. To my mind, there’s no reason for citizens of the USA to own machine guns. Contentious? I don’t think so, I can’t think of any real-life situation where an automatic, or semi-automatic weapon is ‘needed.’  A teenage girl caught the world’s attention,  Emma Gonzales, pointing out links between the president, and the National Rifle Association, then the ‘official’ response being “Let’s not be too hasty!”, before blaming ‘the mental’, not the fact that anyone over the age of 18 can go out and buy a machine gun. (There may be caveats to that, I don’t know much about US gun-law.) 

The issue for me, about the particular kind of mentally disturbed individual who would choose to open fire in a school is that most of them don’t walk around with a big placard stating “I am mentally disturbed, and I’m going to murder people.” With this one, there were notes of concern, that weren’t investigated thoroughly, but, for every potential murderer with ‘flags’, there will be many more undetected. The ones that ‘just snapped’, the ones that took great pains to conceal their intent and plans, the ones that the neighbours say ‘seemed so normal.’ The issue isn’t all about the mental illness, there are millions of people, all around the world, with varying degrees of different kinds of mental illness, the distinction between US gun-mentality and the rest of the world is the issue, not the individual’s mental state. (Side-line, but I read a news article this morning about a UK Member of Parliament being the victim of a street robbery. The weapon? A carton of milk. I’m sure it was distressing and painful to be attacked with a carton of milk, but it’s not a gun, is it?) “The guns are not the problem!” “It is our right to bear arms!” “Prise it from my cold, dead fingers!” etc. The guns, in my opinion, are the problem.

The UK is very different to the USA on many levels. We don’t keep guns in our bedside tables or handbags ‘just in case’. That would be against the law, several laws, actually. We don’t carry anything that could be construed as an offensive weapon. (Pretty much anything can be an offensive weapon, depending on intent, and manner of use, the kid and I used to play ‘How would you kill a zombie with that?’, there is very little in this room that I couldn’t use to disable/disarm an assailant, but I’m not likely to be attacked, both of my doors are locked, it’s 5am, pretty much everybody would be too tired to make a very good job of attacking me.) In 1996, the Dunblane primary school shooting led rapidly to an almost-complete ban on the personal ownership of handguns in the mainland UK, we just don’t ‘have’ guns, in general. (Yes, OK, some people DO have guns, but for specific purposes, and stored securely, as well as fewer ‘rampage killings’, we also have fewer toddlers accidentally shooting family members.) 

I don’t agree with the US government’s suggestion that arming teachers, or school staff is the solution. I cannot accept the argument of “The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun.”, if the ‘bad guy’ didn’t have the gun in the first place, there would be no cause to arm the ‘good guy’. (It’s a good thing we don’t ‘have’ guns, UK schools are struggling to afford textbooks and pens, there’s nothing left in the kitty for guns.) How many guns? One in each classroom, because if they’re centrally held somewhere, you’re factoring in a delay? If that scheme went ahead, surely the ‘bad guy’ would kill the teacher/adult first, potentially leaving a gun on the classroom floor? The fact that ‘some’ Americans are comfortable with firearms doesn’t mean that ‘all’ would be, I saw a tweet the other day, where a teacher had said they wouldn’t trust some colleagues to hold their favourite mug, never mind a gun. I’ve worked with people in schools where I’d have to think twice about letting them use one of my better pens, they’re educators, not the SAS/Marines. Putting guns into schools is not a workable solution. The logistics alone would be a nightmare, especially factoring-in that this gunman was a disgruntled former student, I’ve seen my fair share of disgruntled students, they’re bad enough when they’re throwing chairs, I don’t want to think of the potential consequences of them gaining access to a firearm. 

I wasn’t ‘at’ work if or when any ‘incident response’ drills were done, so I didn’t have to deal with traumatised children imagining-the-worst. On ‘my’ school site, I can’t think of a single classroom that didn’t have floor-to-ceiling glass on the corridor-side, and almost all of the classrooms only had one door. Fish in a barrel, it’s a good thing we don’t have guns. It has been heartbreaking to read testimonies from teachers and education support staff all around the world, about ‘drilling’ children, in some cases very young children, on the expected response to an armed intruder. That shouldn’t be ‘expected’, children shouldn’t have to process that, what the USA is doing, in pandering to ‘the right to bear arms’ is normalising in children all around the world that they ‘could’ be shot in their classrooms. That’s profoundly unhealthy, and deeply unbalanced. Nobody, in civilian life, needs an automatic, or semi-automatic weapon, for anything, the vast majority of people don’t need any kind of gun at all. 

In amongst the adults-explaining, and the adults-deflecting-and-denying, we have the nearly-adults. Some of those adolescents have just buried their friends, and they’re still making more sense than a lot of the adults calling them ‘reactive’ or ‘hysterical.’ If the USA doesn’t address the fact that ‘anyone’ can buy and even upgrade an assault-rifle, all they’re likely to see is more blood, more lives needlessly cut short, as more people will decide to ‘fight fire with fire’.  If the government doesn’t step in, and legislate, some people will decide to arm themselves, there will be more accidental shootings, more suicides, and, potentially more ‘rampages’. These bright, brave children are right, the old men in suits are wrong, the world can see that.   

[mysticsparklewings]

Aurora Inktense

I just couldn't let go of the idea I felt like I'd failed to realize on my Arteza Watercolor Polaroids; the image of some snowy evergreen trees with the Aurora Borealis behind them. And since I had some supplies I wanted to revisit anyway, I decided it was worth a second attempt using a few different techniques. This is a sort of follow-up to when I originally tested out the Derwent Inktense colored pencils, as even then I knew I wanted to do more experimenting with them and get more colors to work with. I haven't done much since the original drawing with them primarily because of the limited 18-color palette I originally had. But I have managed to finally get my hands on a 12 set to expand my color selection a little, thanks to clearance prices induced by needing to clear shelf space at my local Michael's. And so I figured it was about time to revisit the pencils as a whole and see if anything new came up or if anything from my original impressions had changed. I'll be honest, I went into the swatches and this drawing with the new pencils with heightened curiosity and an open mind, as since last time I was working with a set that was showing its age in a few different ways. For all I knew, the newer pencils could've provided a totally different experience from the old ones. Funnily enough, no, my experience was largely the same. To be fair, I remembered from my experience last time and knew from all instances of just swatching the pencils that, especially for the price you pay, the Inktense pencils are pretty underwhelming as just colored pencils. They can't do anything better than Prismacolor can in that department. So I didn't waste my time on a new dry/colored pencil format only drawing with them, and instead jumped straight away into using them with water, which still seems to be the place they shine brightest. Just to deviate for a second before I get into that, though; I noticed during my swatching and some less pretty testing that the new Inktense pencils had the same issue I'd had with the older ones; when you start to really apply pressure and pile on the color/pigment, the pencils have almost a "sticky" type feeling to them and some of the pigment sort of grinds itself into the paper, and it looks pretty weird. There's just a lot of friction between the pencil and the paper in an uncomfortable way. I wouldn't say it's a dealbreaker, but it is something to watch out for and just another reason I don't think these are worth investing in if you're not going to use them with water. Speaking of which... I started by stamping my trees on some watercolor paper--and not the dinky stuff, this is nice 100% cotton cold pressed paper, so it has enough texture for colored pencils and can handle plenty of water--masked said trees with some washi tape, and then I scribbled in some rough color placement with the pencils, knowing the pigment would spread pretty far once it got wet and that no matter what I did I'd probably be doing a lot of back and forth between smoothing/blending out the colors and adding more. I was reminded pretty quickly of the fact that compared to regular watercolor pencils, the Inktense pencils take more water to melt the color down, as well as sometimes if you press too firmly when you put the color down initially, the pencil strokes may not want to fully melt anyway. In this case, that issue had its uses, given the traditional look of the aurora borealis, or Northern Lights, but if you like super smooth blending and you want the colored pencil texture to completely go away when you hit the color with water, I have to strongly suggest staying away from these. After wetting my first scribbly layer, I started the cycle that I knew was coming and started scribbling a little bit here, a little there, on the still-wet paper. This and dipping the tips of the pencils into the water and then scribbling with them tend to be the better ways to work with them, at least from my experience. Taking a brush to the pencil tip and/or applying the pencil and then wetting it with a brush works fine for lighter washes, but the best color payout comes from, like I said, either taking the pencil directly to wet paper or dipping the pencil tip in water to make it into a creamy, oil-pastel type consistency. I did a lot of dipping the tip into water and using that combined with the wet paper to blend out my colors, and I have to say while the white Inktense pencil still fails to impress me on its own, it does work pretty nicely as a blender, at least when it's wet. Beyond what I've already mentioned, the main issues I had while working on this piece mostly came down to getting the right color depth/intensity where I wanted it and making sure everything blended out the way I wanted, which was all more on me than it was the pencils. Once I was pretty much finished with the Inktense portion of the picture before it dried I was still a little bit iffy on how it looked. It was still more streaky than I was convinced it should've been, and I wasn't entirely sure about the colors themselves being what I'd hoped for either. But I let it dry overnight and I felt a lot better about it when I came back to it the next day. Maybe it just needed to dry and settle, maybe I just needed to refresh my eyes, maybe both; I don't know. Still, I went in and did my best to do the star-splatter with the white Inktense pencil. And while this does technically work, it takes a lot longer and loads more patience than just grabbing my bottle of white Speedball ink would've, but I refrained in the name of experimentation and trying to push the Inktense a bit farther. It's also weirdly not as precise, since the Inktense pigment really doesn't like leaving the pencil, so it comes off as a little thicker on the brush and therefore has less good star-producing taps in it then the liquid ink does. Needless to say, I did end up touching that up a little with a white gel pen, as always. Then I unmasked my trees and filled in some spots/went back over some that weren't black enough with a Copic multiliner and did my signature with it as well so it wouldn't be too distracting. After that, since I had originally drawn out a circle as the share I wanted to work in, I cut the circle out and just for ambiance I went along the exposed edge of the paper with a black marker. In the end, the final product does look quite nice and I feel more like I've properly seen this idea through. (Although I make no promises this will be the last time it pops up in my gallery. ) Still, my opinion on the Inktense remains pretty firm that they are a unique, albeit pretty fun thing to play with when you use them with water. But if you're not going to do that, I wouldn't bother investing in them when there are plenty of other options out there that do the plain colored pencil job a lot better. Even Derwent has like four or five different artist-grade pencil lines to choose from just for that purpose if you're extremely loyal to them as a brand for some reason. For me and my purposes though, I would still like to get my hands on the full 72 set at some point and I do think I will continue to play around with them in the meantime. They're interesting and they do have their uses for me as someone who tends to favor mixed-media art. I'm really excited for the next piece I've got going up for you guys though; it turned out so well and I can't wait to share it! And of course, I have some projects in the works that I hope end up being equally exciting, so keep an eye out for what's coming up. ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[jokessho]

[Drabble]: The shiner

Here’s the reply to @50cyg’s prompt “Who gave you that black eye?” - Taiyama. Iffy about this, but it'll do for now I want to go home

Just a heads-up for anyone that prefers ffn: I’m posting these drabble there too, in a collection called Moments (I will also post them on AO3, once I stop procrastinating and start adding my stuff there. Eventually. Someday.).

“Who gave you that black eye?”

Rolling his eyes, Yamato turned around and marched the other way down the street. Taichi followed.

“Seriously, who was it?”

Again, Yamato ignored the brunet and turned down yet another street.

“Come on, Yamato, tell me.”

Yamato was forced to a stop as a brick wall came into view. A dead end.

Silently admitting defeat, Yamato turned—almost in a bored manner—to face his boyfriend.

“Yama?” Taichi brought a hand up to gently touch the corner of Yamato’s eye. “Tell me who gave this to you.”

“Sora.”

Silence followed by a bewildered: “Sora?”

“Sora.”

Taichi blinked rapidly in succession, hand having fallen back to his side.

“But… Why would Sora punch you?”

Shaking his head in an amused fashion, Yamato pushed past Taichi and starting making his way back towards the main street and his original destination: the convenience store.

“Nobody said that she punched me.”

Taichi rushed to catch up with the blond, falling into step beside him.

“But you said that Sora gave you that black eye.”

“Yes.”

Taichi gave Yamato an expectant look, which the blond ignored in favour of grabbing a shopping basket.

“Will you be joining dad and me for dinner tonight?”

“Thanks.”

Yamato nodded in acknowledgement of the acceptance and moved to the fresh vegetable section. Taichi stayed a few steps behind, watching the blond pick out things on his mental shopping list. As much as he wanted to badger his boyfriend about the black eye, he knew better than to pursue the conversation in the store. Instead, he occupied himself by trying to figure out what Yamato had planned for dinner. Not that it ever really worked, since the blond had a way of always surprising him with the end result.

An hour later the two boys were making their way to the apartment complex Yamato and his father lived in.

Taichi cast a sideways glance at Yamato.

“So?”

“So what?”

“About that eye.”

“It was an accident.”

Taichi almost missed a step, hastily moving his feet to correct his footing.

“How does someone hit someone else by accident?”

“I told you she didn’t hit me.”

Taichi stopped and so did Yamato. They stood facing each other on the street, ignoring the passersby that gave them odd looks.

“Could you, please, for once, stop being so cryptic and tell me what happened?”

With a sigh, Yamato motioned for Taichi to keep moving. They continued their journey.

“Remember how I went to help Sora with her garden yesterday?”

Taichi nodded. Sora had asked him, too, but he had bluntly told her he didn’t want to help and that had been the end of that conversation.

“Well, we were moving this really big rock. Not a lot; just trying to budge it about a foot closer to the fence.”

“And the neighbour got mad at you and punched you?”

Yamato threw Taichi an annoyed look. “This is why we have so many misunderstandings; you never let me finish!”

“Okay, okay.” Taichi placed his hands in front of himself, as if to fend off the mounting wrath. “Please continue.” He grinned charmingly, earning a shy smile in return.

“Anyway, we were pushing the rock and managed to get it to the right spot. But then, as Sora was starting to stand, my foot slipped on the mud and I started falling. We bumped heads. Well, more like I smacked my face into the top of Sora’s head.”

Taichi stopped again, frozen in amazement. He blinked a few times, face blank. His right hand came up to face-level, palm facing down, whilst his left hand turned palm up. The hands moved, one up the other down, and met in the middle in a smack.

Yamato looked a bit uncomfortable, eyes flitting from one spot on the ground to another. “That’s the gist of it, yeah.”

Taichi burst out laughing; he clutched at his stomach, doubling over whilst trying to get a sufficient amount of air into his lungs.

Passersby gave them strange looks again, and Yamato shifted in embarrassment. He switched the groceries from one hand to the other, glancing at his apartment complex, visible just down the road.

“Taichi?” He tried, quiet enough to not draw even more attention to them, but loud enough for Taichi to hear him over his laughing. “Taichi, we really should get going…” He eyed his building again.

“Right.” Taichi said, still chuckling. “Let’s…” He burst into laughter again.

Frustrated, Yamato grabbed Taichi’s bicep and proceeded to drag him to the complex.

Upon entering the apartment, Yamato released Taichi and marched into the kitchen. He needed to get the groceries into the right cupboards.

“Oh, come on, Yamato.” Taichi followed the blond into the kitchen, finally over his laughing fit. “I’m sorry, but it’s just so funny. Sora gave you a black eye!”

Yamato braced himself against the kitchen counter and released a large breath.

“This is why I didn’t tell you.”

Still looking amused, Taichi walked up behind Yamato, hugging him from behind and burying his face in the back of Yamato’s head.

“I’m sorry for laughing at you…”

“…but I have to admit, it’s funny?”

Taichi gave a squeeze. “Exactly.” He pecked Yamato’s shoulder, then looked over it. “Whatcha cooking?”

Yamato chuckled, gently shoving an elbow into Taichi’s stomach. “Food. Now go sit down and wait.”

“Ah, you’re no fun.”

Taichi made to go sit at the table, but a hand on his wrist stopped him.

“I may not be fun, but I can cook. Very well, I might add.” Yamato kissed Taichi before the other had time to protest the first point.

With a grin, Taichi went to sit down at the kitchen table. He watched Yamato move about, fiddling with a pen that had been on the table.

A key turned in the lock of the front door. A set of heavy footsteps entered, the door closed, and a tired voice called out:

"I'm home, Yamato. Hello, Taichi."

Oddly eagar, Taichi jumped from the chair, disappearing into the short hall to greet Hiroaki.

"Sora gave Yamato a black eye."

Yamato slapped his face with the hand not holding a knife.

"So I heard. How's it look today?"

"Black."

The two brunets entered the kitchen and Yamato threw a smile at his father.

"Welcome home. I'm just making dinner, so go get washed up."

"Sure." Hiroaki said, then gave Taichi a smug look. "Trust me, it will get even darker than that."

"Dad." A warning.

"You know it will. Remember that time you fell on th—"

"Thank you." Yamato forced out through gritted teeth, turning a glare on Hiroaki. "I remember. Now go get washed or I'm putting so much chili in this that your mouth will burn for the rest of the month."

"Right, right." Hiroaki chuckled and left the kitchen.

Taichi's eyes moved from where Hiroaki had been to Yamato's back. He bit his lower lip lightly.

"The time you fell on the what?"

Within a second, Yamato had slammed his knife down and turned his death glare on his boyfriend.

"No."

Taichi's hands were in front of him in a defensive gesture and his foot took half a step back.

"Okay, okay. Clearly not something you find amusing, even to this day."

Deflating noticeably, Yamato returned to his cooking. The silence reigned as Yamato put some of the ingredients into a wok.

"I do find it amusing, since it's been years, but I think my current bruise is enough embarrassment for this month. I'll tell you some other time."

"Month?"

"At least. Maybe more."

Taichi's face scrunched up in sympathy. Then it brightened.

"I know!"

"I don't want to know."

Some more vegetables went into the wok.

"No, seriously, we need to come up with a badass story for that bruise."

"No."

"Come on, why not?"

"Because I don't want to spread any stupid rumours. I just want the bruise to disappear and be forgotten."

"It won't be for at least a month." Taichi returned to his earlier seat at the table. "You can't exactly cover something like that up."

Yamato pulled out plates, chopsticks, and glasses, placing them in a pile on the table. Taichi took his cue and set them in the right places.

Hiroaki returned, sniffing the air cautiously.

"We avoided the onslaught of chili?" He semi-whispered to Taichi and took a seat across from the teen.

Taichi just grinned and Yamato threw an amused look over his shoulder as he stirred the food.

Hiroaki propped his elbow on the table, placing his chin into his palm. His other hand played with a chopstick, in a similar fashion to how Taichi had been toying with the pen earlier.

"Who'd you think it was?"

Taichi's eyes moved from Yamato's back to Hiroaki. He shrugged, expression indifferent.

"Didn't really speculate. Would have beaten anyone up."

Hiroaki gave a bark of laughter and Yamato turned around, wok and trivet in hand.

"You do realise that I'd have beaten the same anyone to death, right?"

"Not to death. I just mean that I'd have let them recover from your beating and then beat them again."

Shaking his head, Yamato sat in his chair and pushed the  spatula Taichi's way. Guests first.

"Not Sora, though."

"No, definitely not Sora. We don't touch Sora." Taichi agreed, shaking his head vigorously.

Hiroaki took the offered spatula from Taichi.

"As the adult, I should probably say something about violence not solving anything, but I won't." He passed the spatula on, taking note of the surprised looks. "I'd probably have beaten this 'anyone' up, too."

Yamato's hand came up to cover his face, muffling his chuckles. Taichi gave a cheer, clapping his hands.

"Boys, boys. There will be no beating anyone up since it was an accident." He slapped his hands together. "Let's eat!"

[the-light-in-her-eyes-story]

Part 12: The Diner and The Motel

The next night passed very much like the one before, the two walking mostly in silence with intermissions of chit-chat. When it became too dark to see Adriane once again illuminated the night. The further they went down the mountain, the more sparse the trees became, and instead of lush forest bushes the terrain became inhabited by desert shrubs and cacti. As the sun began to rise they approached what appeared to Dane to be the edge of a sprawling desert town. 

“Welcome to Palmcaster,” Adriane announced, voice airy like a tour guide. “This suburban city is home to just under 200,000 ‘vibrant’ souls and is beloved for its chain restaurants and remote location, perfect for delinquents on the run from the law.” She smiled at Dane, gesturing around as though she was pointing out historic monuments you couldn’t pass up. 

Dane found this less funny than Adriane seemed to because the idea of being a wanted individual still left a sour taste in their mouth. Nevertheless, the idea of sitting down to a warm meal was incredibly enticing, and they eagerly followed Adriane into town. Near the outskirts they came across a diner. Using their reflections in the windows they both tried to dust off their clothes and smooth down their hair, Dane’s being more puffy than usual and Adriane’s decently knotted. They headed in, Dane following Adriane. Adriane went off to find a booth while Dane looked at the local newspapers sitting near the front. Apparently the city was celebrating its 95th birthday this year since it had combined from two neighboring cities that, over the years, had encroached closer and bled into one another until it made sense to officially become one. Stomach growling, Dane tore themselves away from the article and joined Adriane in the booth.

When the server came over, Dane was quick to order a burger, fries, and a glass of water. Adriane, hood up, sunglasses on, fingerless gloves concealing hands that were nervously tapping on the table, mumbled “same” when the server turned to her. 

The waitress looked a little put off by this brusqueness from what looked like a moody teen, so Dane quickly explained, “sorry, my friend has a migraine, thus the-” and gestured toward Adriane’s hood and sunglasses. 

“Oh, I totally get ya, honey,” the woman said endearingly, putting a hand on Adriane’s shoulder. Seeing the girl visibly tense up, she withdrew her hand and went to go put in their order, telling them she’d also bring some coffee. “That’ll fix your head up right quick.” 

As Dane ate ravenously, Adriane picked at her food, mostly sticking to the warm mug the server had brought her. She was sitting with her shoulders slumped, leaning against the inner corner of her side of the booth, one foot on the bench with her knee up. Beneath the sunglasses Dane could just make out that Adriane’s eyes were alternating between darting around to being clamped shut. She held the cup of coffee with both hands, tapping impatiently on the edge of it with her fingers. In the few days Dane had known her, they had never seen her look so uncomfortable. 

“Are you okay,” Dane asked quietly, not wanting to draw the attention of the other patrons, happily chatting at nearby booths. 

“Yeah.” Adriane said quickly, looking around at the others in the room. 

“You… don’t seem okay,” Dane said nervously. They weren’t sure if they were reading Adriane right, or how far to push Adriane to get an honest answer.

She just shrugged and brusquely responded with, “you try living in almost complete isolation, then suddenly jump into a busy diner.”

Dane mumbled “sorry,” and reached for their glass of water. 

Looking briefly at Dane and seeing that she had said something rude, Adriane added, “just give me a bit and I’ll adjust. People are just loud and chaotic and being so close is… overwhelming.”

Dane nodded and they finished their meal in silence. As their plates emptied they realized that they had overlooked something when they had eagerly marched in. 

“Hey Adriane,” they whispered, “I don’t have any money… Do you?”

Adriane smirked. “Nope.”

“What are we gonna d-”

The server walked up with the check, interrupting Dane’s question. Their eyebrows raised as they started to mutter random noises, unsure of what to do. 

Adriane briefly glared at Dane, then took the check from the woman, looked at it, and immediately handed it back. As the server’s hand touched the check, a subtle golden light seemed to snake from Adriane’s hand to the lady’s in a split second. She smiled and said “thanks you too! Take care of yourselves!” before walking away to tend to the other customers. 

Dane, eyes still wide, turned to Adriane in shock. “What did you do,” they whispered. 

Adriane smiled slyly and jerked her head toward the door, gesturing that they should leave. Outside, Adriane started walking down the street, hands in her pants pockets, and Dane jogged to catch up. 

“What did you do??” Dane pushed again.

Adriane shrugged irritatingly, smiling at Dane’s concern. “Made her think that we paid in cash and left her a nice tip.”

Dane gaped at Adriane. 

“You’re not seriously judging me?” Adriane said, less amused and now slightly annoyed. “The alternative is we don’t eat and leave town. Would you prefer that?”

“I guess not… but isn’t it stealing?” Dane asked sheepishly. They felt more like a criminal than they had this whole trip. At least before they hadn’t actually done anything wrong.

Adriane shrugged again, flippant. “I guess.”

They walked down the sidewalk for a while as Dane wrestled with their guilt. In the early afternoon they walked up to the entrance of a motel. 

Adriane turned to Dane, “Look, if you want to survive and travel with me you’re going to have to be okay with a lot of morally iffy things. If you can’t be okay with that, then you need to leave.”

Her expression was hard, unempathetic, and deadly serious. Dane’s internal debate had not yet reached a conclusion, but the idea of having to fend for themself in the middle of an unfamiliar city was terrifying. They froze, trying to think but finding their mind to be blank. 

Sighing, Adriane walked into the motel, letting the door close behind her. Dane watched it close and tried to take a few steadying breaths. This isn’t the time to hyperventilate, they reassured themself.  Just because you’re breaking more laws today than you could have ever imagined breaking in your worst nightmare that doesn’t give you an excuse to panic. Remembering that the whole reason they were in this mess was because they broke the law when they crossed into Downtown helped them laugh and break out of their frozen state. They took one more deep breath, then headed inside.

Adriane was waiting at the front desk, and upon hearing Dane walk in just gave them a little nod in acknowledgement. Dane joined Adriane at the desk as the receptionist came out from a back room. As soon as he was within a few feet, Adriane stared at him and a golden mist floated from Adriane’s outstretched hand to the man’s mind. Dazedly, he grabbed a set of keys labeled “112” and handed them to Adriane. As the two left he waved, wishing them a good stay. 

“You could have at least talked to him,” Dane grumbled. 

“Didn’t see a point. It wouldn’t change the outcome.” Adriane said, casting a sideways glance at Dane. “Oh, and in his mind he rented the room out to a local father and son whose house is being renovated, just in case someone comes asking about us.”

Dane thought that was pretty smart, but didn’t feel any desire to gratify Adriane with a compliment. Arriving at their room, Adriane unlocked the door and walked in. Dane caught the door before it closed and followed. It was a basic room with two beds and a bathroom. Looking at the shower, Dane realized it had been days since they’d bathed. Without saying anything to Adriane they went on in, washing their clothes in the sink and hanging them to dry while they showered.  Their mom had always yelled at them for taking such long, hot showers, but right now Dane wasn’t thinking about how much water they were wasting, or if there would be any hot water left for anyone else. Dane wasn’t thinking about anything at all. They just let the warm water wash away the dirt and stress. After what was probably an hour they finally dried off, realizing that there was no way their clothes were going to dry amidst all the steam. They stood, wondering for a moment what they should do, eventually realizing that their only options were to wear wet clothes or a towel. Despite their modesty’s screams of horror, they decided to go with wrapping a towel around themselves, then exited to find Adriane laying on one of the beds, legs crossed and arms bent with her hands beneath their head. Her eyes were closed. Dane shifted their stance into a tip-toe, trying to not wake her up. 

“I’m awake.” Adriane said, eyes still closed.

“Oh, sorry. I just thought…”

“Nah, just easier to read the people in the other rooms when there’s less distraction.”

“Read the other people?”

“Yeah,” Adriane said, turning her head toward Dane and opening her eyes. Blinking, she hesitated for a minute at the sight of Dane in a towel. “Uh… yeah. I was just sensing who was here, their motives, et cetera. What happened to your clothes?”

“I showered,” Dane explained, embarrassed. “And I washed my clothes, but they’re still wet… obviously.” 

“Ah.” Adriane said, gesturing a hand toward her bag. Golden tendrils shot from her hand to the bag, unzipped it, and pulled out a pair of jeans and a black shirt, which then shot over and hung in front of Dane’s face. “I think we’re roughly the same size. You can wear these for now.”

Grateful, Dane stepped back into the bathroom and changed into the clean clothes. Then they hung their clothes in front of the AC and laid down on their own bed. Laying contentedly for a little while, Dane realized that they were a little thirsty again. Adriane suggested they go check out the mini convenience store the motel had in the lobby. 

“Just tell the guy to charge it to the room.” Adriane said, making no movement to show she intended on coming with Dane. 

Begrudgingly, Dane went to the lobby and grabbed a few bottles of water and granola bars. Waiting for the receptionist to come out, they took a look at the newspaper rack. The top was the local newspaper they’d seen at the diner, but beneath that was the newspaper for the whole region. The front page made Dane drop everything they were holding. The article was titled “Massacre in Downtown,” and a large photograph covered the majority of the front. The picture showed what used to be the street outside of Adriane’s building, but it was now practically a crater. Littered about the wreckage of rubble and debris were countless bodies, broken and bloody. Dane hadn’t really seen the aftermath of Adriane’s retaliation, and had apparently blocked it out of their mind. They could feel their heart hammering in their ears and felt like they were about to throw up. 

“Let me see that.”

Dane jumped at the sound of Adriane suddenly appearing behind them. Their lips moved soundlessly, lost amongst the confusion and grief. 

“I felt your distress and thought you might have been under attack.” Adriane explained passively. “Now let me see that.”

Dane handed the paper to Adriane, hands shaking. Adriane soundlessly skimmed the article before letting out a long exhale and tossing the paper back on the stack. 

“They’re calling it an explosion, set off by ‘wanted criminal and accomplice,’” she laughed bitterly. “They’ve got a very vague description of us in here, but its so clearly censored that its pretty laughable. Obviously the police want us caught, but don’t want the public to know that I’m anything more than a normal criminal. They even described me as having ‘light blond’ hair! At least they said I’m to be considered ‘armed and dangerous,’” she laughed again, running a hand through her snow white hair. Dane couldn’t see what was so funny. It was one thing to know that people had died, but it was another to see the death and destruction. 

“Let’s get back to the room,” Adriane said, grabbing the dropped food and water. She led Dane back and once inside, sat Dane down. “Look, they attacked me. You know that.”

“But you could have changed their memories or perception or whatever it is you do,” Dane sniffed, eyes wet with unshed tears. 

Adriane shrugged. “I guess. But that woulda’ been less fun.” A dark grin spread across the girl’s face that sent a chill down Dane’s spine. Dane moved away from Adriane and sat in silence for a while. 

“How did you end up like this?” Dane asked finally.

“I don’t know.” Adriane said, smile faded from her face. “The magic just kinda… happened one day.” 

“You’ve never tried to find out why?”

“Nope,” Adriane started, initially flippant. Then, sighing, she conceded, “It took me a while to get a handle on my abilities… not that I have a perfect grasp on them. I’d hoped that maybe you’d know something about Eloise that would explain it, but now I’m not so sure. Its not like there’s a handbook about my situation. From what I know, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one like me.”

Dane nodded. 

“And who am I supposed to ask? Its not like the Fey give out their phone numbers for social calls.” 

“I guess not…” Dane said, then a thought bounced into life in their mind, “BUT, Eloise did think she’d found areas where the veil between the Fey realm and our world were weakened. Maybe if we went to one of those areas you could communicate with one of them?”

Adriane had straightened up at this and whipped off her sunglasses, intensely staring into Dane’s eyes. “There’s weak areas in the veil? And Eloise knew where they were?” 

Dane nodded.

“You better not be making this stuff up,” Adriane warned.

“I’m not! I assumed you knew about these places!” Dane exclaimed. 

“I’m not omniscient…”

“Okay, well, there’s one up north that’s known as Fey Buttes. It used to be a volcano or something named Sutter Mountain… I think.” Seeing Adriane’s incredulous glare, they added, “it’s been a while! Sorry I don’t have a perfect memory about all of history! Anyway, it’s a giant mound in the middle of fields and there’s been a lot of sightings there, and its a hotspot for Fey energy and plants, like fairyweed. It’s been investigated a lot and is one of California’s major energy sources…”

For once, Adriane looked at a loss for words. Finally she regained her composure and said, “I’ve had this dream for a while now of a large mountain peak in the middle of flat, barren land. I assumed that I had made it up, but I’ve felt this weird familiarity whenever I see it in my dreams.”

“That sounds like Fey Buttes! How can you have dreams about it if you’ve never been there?”

“I told you, there’s some things I know that I shouldn’t,” said Adriane contemplatively. “I need to go there.”

She looked up at Dane, “I can set you up with a place to live if you’d like, and a job or cash probably.”

“What?” Dane asked, confused.

“I have no expectation that you’ll come all the way to the Buttes with me.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cus this isn’t your fight.” Adriane stated, tone flat and emotionless.

This time, Dane was the one that shrugged. “It’s not like I can go home. And I don’t necessarily want to stay here either.”

Adriane nodded. “Okay. Then we have quite a journey ahead of us.”

“Can we sleep here at least tonight, though?” Dane asked, unable to hide the note of pleading from their voice.

Adriane’s corner of her lip twitched as she nodded. “Get some sleep. We’ll start preparing for the trip in the morning.”

“One last thing.” Dane said before making any movement toward bed. Biting their lip and taking a steadying breath they continued,  “if I’m going to be traveling with you I need two things. First, an assurance that you won’t hurt anyone, including me, unless it’s a life threatening situation, I guess.”

Adriane hesitated, then nodded. “And second?”

“Second, I need to know exactly how you got your abilities.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Hunting Ground (Part 4)

Summary: The reader finds out more about Dean and his past...

Teaser Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Pairing: suspect!Dean x cop!reader

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: language, murder

A/N: Hope you enjoy!...

“You sure you don’t want backup?” asked Officer Fern, stopping at the side of the road. 

“We still don’t have proof that it’s Dean doing this. One more murder doesn’t prove or disprove anything,” you said. “I never got to speak to him earlier today so that’s still my number one priority.”

“But he probably did it,” said the officer. “You said you saw blood in his house.”

“Yeah and if it is him, I don’t want to tip him off. If I need backup, I’ll call in. Leave the initial report at my motel room,” you said, slipping out of the car. You heard her drive off and you sighed. It was always worse to have to see the scene fresh. Every detail was the same. Isolated cabin, water bottle, the blood. This woman was someone who’s car had broken down about fifty miles away. She was probably happy to have gotten into that psycho’s car and not have to walk all that way to town.

This time when you knocked on Dean’s door, he opened quickly and all the way.

“I heard what happened. You know if you had just listened to me-”

“I need you to calm down and let me inside,” you said. Dean waved you in, ever so aware of your hand ready to go on your gun. You went over to the wall, clean now and spun around. Dean had his arms crossed but held up his hand, showing his wrists.

“The cut opened up earlier when I was changing the bandages and tripped on that rug you’re standing on because someone doesn’t trust me and decided to tie me up when I was saving her ass last night,” said Dean. A plausible story but there were too many iffy things going on around there lately.

“Let me guess, you wiped that down with something that I can’t test for blood now, didn’t you?” you asked. Dean squinted his eyes but you simply held your ground.

“Why are you here Y/N because we both know you don’t give two shits about me,” said Dean. You took a step towards him, nodding for him to sit down but he wasn’t biting.

“Sixth victim. You didn’t work the case and that’s when we both know you became a suspect. I want to know what was different,” you said. Dean took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. “Talk to me bud.”

“I knew the sixth victim, alright,” said Dean. Shit, that one had been the worst of all. Dean steeled himself and took another breath. “She was my partner. A rookie. Jo was her name.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. From the look on his face, if he was the killer, he felt pretty shitty about what he’d done to her at least.

“We were getting close, we must have been because she was fine and then the next day she was...the killer...Jo had a picture of the newbies in the department. There were eight of us, four sets of partners. Jo had the picture in her apartment. That one over there,” said Dean, nodding to the hall. You took a few steps down, one eye still on Dean. There were eight officers, some looking straight out of the academy, some a little bit older like Dean. He looked happy.

“The picture, that’s the one they found near the body?” you asked, remembering it from the the files. Dean nodded.

“Well, they only left the bit with us two so everybody started looking at me,” said Dean. “I mean, I hadn’t caught him and people started wondering how the guy kept getting away and suddenly everyone, my friends, people I thought were family, were saying I did those things. I could never hurt those woman like that. I could never hurt Jo. I should have protected her.”

“Were you two...” you asked, stepping back into the main room with him. He shook his head.

“She was just a good friend and I let her down. Do you get why I don’t want to see something happen to you?” asked Dean. “This guy came back here to taunt me all over again but I can’t do jackshit apart from try to protect you. I’m not letting that happen to someone again.”

“Dean, I am sorry for what happened to your friend. I truly am. But the killer doing this to fuck with you...doesn’t that sound a little ridiculous?” you said. The way he looked at you made it very clear he didn’t think that at all.

“Arrest me or get the fuck out of my house and find this guy!” he shouted. He took a step forward and then another towards you and that was more than enough reason to draw your weapon.

“Dean stop!” you shouted, his hand catching your wrist before your gun was up, squeezing it hard so you dropped it. You went to knee him but Dean shoved you down to the ground, arms pinned behind your back as he put all his weight on you. “Let me go!”

“Do not draw a weapon on me for being pissed off. I am not your suspect,” said Dean. You squirmed but his hold was too good and you shouted. “Go ahead, no one would hear you anyways.”

“Stop it,” you said, Dean shifting his weight and flipping you onto your back, arms pinned above your head. You struggled but he knew exactly how to hold you down without giving you an inch. Your eyes found his hard ones staring back, that want still in them and you looked away. “If you’re gonna do it, just fucking do it!”

“The only thing I want you to do is calm down and not shoot me,” said Dean. “I’m not going to do anything to you. Take a second and when you relax, I’ll let you go, okay?”

“Let me go now,” you said, hating how the tiniest of whines came through. You couldn’t be weak, not right now. You had to-

Dean rolled off of you, scooting over to give you space as you sat up and grabbed your gun from nearby. You aimed it at him but he didn’t even look like he could be angry anymore. 

“Tell me the truth right fucking now. Are you doing this?” you asked. 

“No, Y/N. I’m not your killer. I just want to catch this guy,” he said.

“Why do you look at me like that? Why do you follow me?” you asked. Dean shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the cabinet behind him. It took him a moment to open them and find their way back to you.

“Because...I’m...attracted to you. I think you’re pretty and kind of a badass. A stubborn badass but still...you’re a good cop. You felt bad about doing what you did last night even though all I got was a few scrapes and one little bump to the head. You’re a good person from what I can tell. I want to protect you. All of that sounds like I’m definitely your serial killer, I know. I would have tried to take you home, buy you a drink that night I saw you at Trapper’s but you looked tired and I didn’t want to bother you. Hoped maybe I could try again the next. When I found out you were a cop, I knew you’d never in a million years trust a word out of my mouth,” said Dean.

“You know I can’t trust you, Dean. It’s too risky,” you said.

“Tell that to your gun,” he said, your gaze traveling down to see you had it aimed at the ground now, not him. “At least part of you knows I’m telling the truth.”

“Cooperate with the investigation and keep a cool head for me, please,” you said, standing up. Dean stayed in place, trying to keep you from drawing your gun on him again. “I’m not jumping to any conclusions.”

“That’s why I trust you,” said Dean. “I’d already be arrested if you took the easy way and blamed it on me.”

“I am not afraid of doing things the hard way babe,” you said. He smiled a little.

“Sorry for grabbing you like that,” he said. 

“Unless you’ve got permission, I wouldn’t pounce on me like that again,” you said, waving your gun. “I’m a little wound up if you haven’t noticed.”

“Be sure to let me know when I get permission, sweetheart,” said Dean with a wink.

“Such a fucking flirt,” you muttered, turning to head out.

“Like you don’t do it back,” he scoffed, chuckling a little. 

“Goodnight Dean. Be careful tonight,” you said, opening up his door. You immediately heard him scramble to his feet behind you.

“It’s already night?” he said, standing a few feet away, looking out the window. “Let me drive you back to town.”

“Dean, it’s not that far of a walk,” you said.

“A woman was brutally murdered. You’re probably next on the list. I’m going to have to insist on this, Y/N. Cuff me again if it makes you feel safer,” said Dean, holding up his hands. You looked out the open door into the dark. 

“Fine,” you said, waving him over. You didn’t have your gun on him but once you were in the truck you cuffed him again. Dean winched pretty good as you slipped them on over his bandages but didn’t protest. After he was down the hill and driving along the road you muttered to yourself and cut him loose.

“What’d you do that for?” he asked, glancing over to where you sighed.

“I’m not saying I believe you’re free and clear. I’m just saying you’ve had more than a few chances to fuck me over if you wanted to. You had me back there. I don’t think...” you trailed off. You couldn’t discount him as a suspect yet but he was either innocent or really biding his time with this thing.

“You’re still in charge,” he said, his voice a little softer than earlier. Your stomach grumbled as you hit the edge of town and Dean laughed. “Hungry?”

“A little,” you said. “You can drop me off at the motel again. I got to review my files tonight so I’m probably going to grab food to go.”

“Oh, okay,” he said. He was quiet as he drove, stopping outside the motel when you had a thought. If he was with you, it would give him an alibi if something else happened that night...

“Do you want to get dinner with me? Ya know, I can keep an eye on you and everything?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said.

“Let me just use the bathroom fast,” you said. You hopped out of his truck and into your room. You heard the door crack while you were washing up and not ten seconds later Dean’s truck was taking off. You burst out into the room but sighed.

He stole your goddamn files.

“I was almost believed you too Dean.”

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

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[cryptoriawebb]

My extensive, expansive Wonder Woman review

So I’ve been working on this for about a week now, and I’m pleased to say I’ve finally finished. 

I didn’t expect this movie to resonate so deeply, so please, bare with me. I’ve got a lot to say.

Wow.

Just wow.

I am beyond blown away by Wonder Woman. I wanted so badly for it to be a good movie, beyond the reasons floating around on the internet. Yes, she is a female super hero, yes, she’s the first one in this modern era to receive a solo film and yes, and yes, in many ways, and yes, she’s the most well-known female hero, dating back to the Second World War. Those are all impressive and important things to recognize…but Wonder Woman, Diana, is so much more than simply an icon with impressive credentials. Going into this movie, I wanted to get to know her as a character, follow her along her journey; experience what she did and feel what she felt as she evolved from Amazonian princess into the wise and worldly hero protecting our modern world. I wanted to like her, vouch for her, the way I never did beyond my own cultural nostalgia. She was one of the few highlights in the train wreck that was Batman v Superman; I wanted more of that.

Needless to say, this movie delivered and more.  Diana not only stood on her own, offering in my opinion a protagonist everyone could root for and relate to in some way, but she also existed harmoniously with her co-stars, forming real, heartwarming (and heartbreaking) relationships that evolved in what I believe was a natural way as she did as a character. There were so so many ways this movie could have gone wrong because of the socio-political environment in which it came to fruition; instead, we received a beautiful awe-inspiring piece of art. Perhaps it is my Greek blood speaking here, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a super-hero film delivered with such elegance. I’m not sure if it was the director, the script, Gadot herself or perhaps a combination…everything just worked…and for this new DC Universe, that’s really, almost impossibly impressive.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoyed Suicide Squad and parts of Batman v Superman; it goes without saying, however, neither were enough to survive for long in this age of Super Hero cinema. For Suicide Squad, there just wasn’t enough even or original momentum, and B v S…well, that should’ve stayed a little longer on the editing table. Even Man of Steel, one exhausting fight sequence aside, isn’t praised or remembered like Marvel Studios and even some of the X-men films are. I think Wonder Woman is different. I think it will stand the test of time. Not just because she’s the first female with a solo film…but because there really is a film here. A fluid finished picture with an even pace, balanced tone and as much heart as there is action.

I thought opening the film with narration worked very well. It’s such an iffy tactic in any genre, and so far I’ve only really seen it in the X-men films. Sometimes it’s worked (X1, Days of Future Past) and sometimes, not quite as efficiently (X-men Apocalypse.) Overall though, they’ve done a decent example; some movies, like Disney’s more recent Cinderella film I felt relied far too heavily on narration, ‘telling’ where ‘showing’ would have done the job just fine. One could argue perhaps this was done intentionally, adhering to the ‘fairy tale’ technique; I disagree. I found it distracting. I thought Wonder Woman’s use enhanced the film. It presented us with tone of voice, foreboding the pending tone of the film as well as who she was to become. In contrast to the X-men films, which use the technique to warn of heartbreak and disaster, Diana’s voice contained a hint of pain grounded in an almost maternal knowledge, a teacher from antiquity’s time preparing a lesson for her student viewers. This was all done without stating too much or sounding cliché. My attention held and I looked forward to the next scene.

I’d also like to point out I thought the visual choices to accompany this audio worked as well. We see a glimpse of present-day Diana in BvS, and we know she’s lived a very long time (I still maintain that revelation should have remained a post-credits scene, and Wonder Woman herself, however cool she was, should not have appeared beyond the photograph.)   It almost adds to the excitement, at least in my case, knowing her origins would take us back not only to 20th century wartime, but to the ancient world as well. Not only because, again, I am Greek, but because I love the idea of heroes existing before the modern era, seeing how they affect an older world and their importance. World War I is something of an area of fascination for me, although I admit I’d thought at first they’d have set the film during the 1940s. I wonder if that was to separate from Captain America. I’m only familiar with her basic information and backstory; recent comic history and adjustments are beyond me.

I loved the architectural choices for Themyscira. Very clearly Greek-inspired but with an exotic flair all its own. I will say, as someone who has studied Greek art over the years, technically, the synonymous white should have historically been painted…but this is fiction, and as fiction, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited by how very in line with antiquity it was as it was. I’m not sure what I was expecting; Diana’s armor contains notable Greek accents…perhaps it’s simply how I’ve seen her and her Island portrayed before, drawing from Mythology by name and character without doing so historically. We all want to see our roots up there on the screen, and this was the first time in a long time I really felt like I was outside of a loose adaption or certain romantic comedies. As someone with a strong affinity for Super heroes, well, this means a lot to me. But moving on.

I’m also impressed by how well the Amazons blended the lines of beauty and ferocity (or is it sex-appeal and practicality?)  They were sexy, unmistakably, but to me it did not appear as though they were designed with that as the primary thought. They were sexy because they were fierce, beautiful because of the natural, historical sense in their design—or what I imagine as much history one can put into a mythological race. They weren’t super-model skinny or movie-star-glamorous, and yet these women carried about them a fearsome power I personally felt unworthy of. This of course extends to Diana and her iconic armor. None of her accessories felt corny or outdated to me, even the lasso, which I was a tad wary about. My association with it comes from dated comics and cartoons; I wasn’t sure it would translate seriously into this modern era. I think the director handled its inclusion perfectly, adding humor whenever as Pine’s character struggled to resist (or prove himself honest) and demonstrating its later use as a weapon against Ares. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’m so relieved Diana’s true purpose remained a secret until the end. I know some more learned fans than I have complains about the chosen direction, but I’ll get into that later. I’ve seen a lot of movies reveal far too much before needed and it really hurts the film. X-men Apocalypse, for example. However it pains me to talk down about my beloved X-men films, so many scenes talked through too much too early on, harming the pace and suspense of the film. If they had been removed I know for certain the movie would have done much better. Wonder Woman did none of this…which is actually very embarrassing for both Singer and Kinberg in comparison. In hindsight, it’s very, very impressive for both a lesser-known director and a character who hasn’t been given a fair (or successful, if we count that one pilot) solo screen-time venture since the 1970s.

To go along with her purpose, I loved that the Mythology/ancestry/storytime sequence resembled Renaissance art. I’m sure at this point it goes without saying but so many Greek Myths were illustrated and interpreted during the Renaissance period; in this particular case, I thought of Michaelangelo’s work on the Sistine Chapel, specifically the Creation of Adam and the Last Judgment. I know neither of them feature Greek mythology, but the style and articulation in the film really felt reminisce of Michelangelo. I like this artistic choice in direction; shooting a live action sequence would have felt grittier and clunky while none at all might have dragged and failed to grip the viewer’s attention in the same way. Plus, Diana is a child, and one from antiquity; choosing to illustrate the story like a story, as well as in a style reminisce of a time period that heavily featured antiquity as its subject fit perfectly.

Before I move ahead to the second half of Diana’s journey, I’d like to say I’m glad Hippolyta and her sister were close. They did not agree with everything, but there were no signs of dangerous tension (a la Thor and Loki, Charles and Raven, or taking it back to the 90s with Scar and Mufasa.) I’ve seen enough sibling drama in the movies; it was nice to see their conflict presented in a mature way that did not push their relationship past a breaking point. I loved that Antiope genuinely loved Diana and did not train her for personal or selfish gain. I will say her death didn’t resonate as deeply with me as it might have if she’d played a larger role in the movie but returning to Themyscira would have bogged down the pace. This is an origin film and if someone isn’t betrayed, they’ve got to lose a loved one; I wasn’t happy of course, but I guess if I had to pick I would rather Diana’s mentor go because a) it illustrates the importance of different bonds and b) I am tired of the whole ‘death of a parent kickstarts a hero on their journey.’ I know Antiope was Diana’s aunt but it wasn’t quite the same thing. I also like how this tragic ‘passing of the torch’ didn’t hang over Diana’s head the way it could have; she wasn’t a hardened, brooding heroine. Antiope died for love, and was in many ways the first step (unless you count the tale of Zeus protecting the Amazons) to her eventual drive to protect and fight for love. I know saying it like that sounds like a magical girl but I in no way think anything about this movie falls within that realm. There’s nothing pop culture or cliché in Diana’s character and I’ll get to that in a minute.

I thought Diana was the right amount of naïve, if that makes any sense. She wasn’t ditzy and the mistakes and little embarrassments she caused Steve and Etta were cute and quirky as opposed to cringe-worthy. I didn’t expect her to know of men, being the only Amazon born on Themyscira; I’m really glad she and the others weren’t treated like archaic idiots by the director or Chris Pine. I guess I was expecting something a little more similar to Thor’s treatment in his first film, which, while funny, earned him this ‘dopey puppy’ stereotype that’s really overshadowed any depth he’s gained in the MCU. I was also pleased to see Hippolyta was able to see Diana’s side of things, or rather, place her bond with her daughter over fear for her safety. I’ve seen so many films and TV shows where the rigid, overprotective parent becomes unlikeable.

On the flipside, I’m also glad her intellectual and physical abilities did not corrupt her view of man. She never once held herself in a pretentious, superior manner. This is something I’ve unfortunately seen in a lot of media of late…I adore this influx of female protagonists beyond the realm of…well, I guess Diana is a princess but she’s also a warrior and superhero. That said, it’s a personal turn-off when they’re treated above their male co-stars and see themselves as such. I want a good female protagonist as I said, but not if they’re going to act like they’re better than everyone else. There’s nothing, at least not to me, relatable or likeable in that. I’m not stupid; don’t pander to me like I am.

Diana, fortunately, breaks the mold yet again. There was only one moment I can recall that might be taken as intended superiority; when she was discussing her knowledge of men with Steve, how they were necessary for procreation but not so much for pleasure. While she seemed to know he probably wouldn’t like the consensus it came more from a courteous (if not somewhat humorous) place, rather than haughty superiority. That and much of what Diana said in that regard she likely took from not only her reading but her elders, growing up. Which in itself might be a form of naïveté but I’ll take it over a high-and-mighty attitude. I will say I found the ‘slave’ comment a bit out of place and (going out on a limb here) deliberately for the audience. It was like ‘and now we’re going to step away from ‘Diana-vision’ and insert ‘21st century activism. Please stand-by.’ I know why they threw it in, and I’m sure Diana said it with the same honesty she did everything else, but that one thing specifically didn’t work for me.

Another example superiority could have infiltrated her character: reading Doctor Poison’s stolen book. Diana seemed genuinely surprised no one else could read it, and given her origins, it wasn’t surprising. This evolved into a more amusing scene later on, using her language to elude the flirtatious Sammy. By then (kudos, character development) she’s gotten some idea not everyone has this skill, so it makes sense, as she grows more familiar in her surroundings, that she’d want to stop him in his tracks by literally making him eat his words. Yet again, there’s no malice or pretentiousness. Instead, a playful challenge ensues, with Diana emerging the victor. I admit, when Diana started speaking ancient Greek (provided that was, of course, ancient Greek) I squealed a little bit. It really is a personal thing but I just love how much this version of Wonder Woman and Themyscira embody their mythological/historical roots. Even though she wasn’t at the top of my superheroine list before (but damn, that’s definitely changing) I’ve always had an affinity for Wonder Woman because of her origins. She’s the beautiful, powerful and empathic Greek heroine I’d love to be, if only in essence.

But I digress.

I was a little worried about Chris Pine’s character, going into this. As noted above, I was afraid both Diana and the director would use this movie as an opportunity to belittle his importance, as well as the role of the ‘standard male protagonist.’ Thank Hera that wasn’t the case. Steve Trevor had his faults and humorous quirks but he was equally important and well-rounded. I admit, I take the first World War very seriously (well, all wars, but the First was such an unnecessary, heartbreaking mess I’m a little defensive in its regard.) So with that said, I was so, so impressed by him. He reminded me a lot of Steve Rogers, except of course, without the excessive stubbornness. He was stubborn, but it didn’t transcend into the comic book realm which is an odd thing to say, I know for a comic book movie. I guess I mean that I could have seen him star in a period piece without Amazons and Greek gods and still felt the same about his performance. He was a man, a man of the times, but a good, honest man who’d seen a lot and would do anything to stop even some of the senseless killing. He saw mankind for what it was, the good and bad—his speech about wanting one individual to blame really resonated. I think a lot of us in life believe we could blame the bad things on one particular individual…and I’m sure so many people during the Great War thought that as well. I’ve been trying to articulate just how Steve helped Diana become who she is; it’s so simple but complicated at the same time, so unlike any relationship I’ve seen in a superhero film. He didn’t transcend time to speak with an elder version of himself, didn’t banish her to Earth and shatter any familial bond…he just loved her. Believed in her. And in the end, sacrificed himself for both. I may not be one for the love interest sub-plot but my gosh, it played out so beautifully here.

When I first jotted down my initial thoughts about the movie, I kept drawing comparisons to Tarzan, only in reverse, with Time separating Diana from the rest of the world, as well as remote location. I can see now that was a very, very trimmed down comparison and almost…not insulting but simplified their characters and the bond they shared. Steve and Diana might be from different worlds, and Diana, as I said, was a little naïve, but Steve, too, underestimated her; they grew together as the film progressed, as equals. Only instead of Jane returning to the jungle with Tarzan, Diana remains in Steve’s world, fighting for the people he found so important, and who she believes are worth protecting, too.

I really liked the supporting cast as well. As I said, I’m a little sensitive about World War I and I think having such a diverse cast of characters really helped emphasize how encompassing it was, and how many different people suffered, because. Sammy was probably my favorite, but Charlie especially pulled at my heartstrings. I don’t know anything about these characters, if they exist outside the DC Expanded Universe or if they were specifically crafted for the film; correct me if I’m wrong but it seemed implied that Charlie’s character was once a soldier, perhaps earlier in the war, but trauma, like it did to so many at the time, shook his core. I’ve read and researched a lot about this war; it was the first ‘modern’ war with ‘modern’ weapons…and the first where Shell shock/PTSD really gained professional attention. I wish we’d learned more about Charlie, it isn’t often you see the staple ‘comic relief’ character backed by such tragedy. All of them, I’d have liked to spend more time with. For that reason I almost wish in some way the franchise in itself could stay in this time period. Alas, it’s not to be.

Oh, there is something else I’d like to point out, although I’m not sure where to fit it, exactly: the scene Diana reads from Doctor Poison’s journal illustrates, at least I think, the divide between the soldiers at the time and those from whom they took orders. Disregarding Ares for a second, I was really happy, although that’s not quite the right word, to see this included. So many people died precisely because those in higher power rarely set foot on the battle field. They remained in large part oblivious to trench conditions; to them, soldiers were expendable pawns in a political game.

Now then.

Diana’s run through No Man’s Land has to be my favorite scene. Not only is it the first time we really see ‘Wonder Woman’ in action but there’s so much power behind it because of the history I actually cried. I couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened out there, a hundred year ago in the trenches, if a brave Amazonian warrior had stormed No Man’s Land and ceased the gunfire so expertly. It does pain me a little to say that; I don’t believe any soldier on either side should take the blame for what happened a hundred years ago. Nonetheless, the Germans were painted as the enemy for most of the film (until you consider Ares trying to stall their armistice from the opposing side) so in lieu of that, I did cry when the soldiers rallied behind Diana.

My personal feelings about this period aside, she looked amazing. And by amazing, I mean badass. Deflecting bullets, braving fire with her shield, the way she just maneuvered on the field…I know she’s named after Artemis but she reminded me strongly of Athena, at least, how I envision her. It was just so…cool, to see her out there, see how far her character has come in media. While I am not an activist, nor do I seek political refuge in my movies I couldn’t help but like, feel a sense of pride, watching this female super hero take charge, watching everyone follow her lead and depend on her. It was like…I was seeing everything I wanted in a heroine. With the exception of X-men’s Rogue, who has always been my favorite female hero (disregarding the movie interpretation.) Not only that, but in that moment I really felt like I finally connected to Wonder Woman herself. I know I’ve emphasized my heritage and her redesign before, so I won’t go into that. There’s more to it, personal things I’m not comfortable discussing…but this incarnation is a big deal to me for so, so many reasons. I can’t thank Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins enough for bringing her to life.

Okay…let’s get back into this.

There is one little thing I wasn’t super thrilled with, but for this movie and in this context, it worked wonderfully. I’ve said my piece about the love interest and why I don’t mind Steve and Diana falling in love, I just…have issues with implied sex scenes. And it isn’t a political thing or a religious thing, it’s more...at least I think it’s along the lines of things I’d, at least for now, prefer not to discuss. So I’ll say in general I don’t care for it but it does work and I can’t fault the film because I know it worked. Just a personal thing.

I’m going to talk about Ares now.

I did not see that revelation coming. Maybe I should have, but I expected something along the lines of ‘Ares has been watching silently the entire time and suddenly booming laughter erupts and the ground parts and glows like lava; suddenly the god of war appears, sinister approval hanging from his lips.’

I much prefer how things actually played out. I’ve seen and read a lot of media featuring the Greek Gods and not once was Ares ever portrayed as a ‘posh British man.’ I think there’s a lot of symbolism in that; both in regards to the war itself and, if you want to go there, perhaps in this modern era itself. I’m going to talk about this in context of WWI because again, I want no part of modern political activism. In the war, as I said, the Elites controlled the strings. They gave orders their army had little choice but to carry out and rarely did they involve themselves directly. Some of them, upon realizing what was actually going on, were struck with horror. Others didn’t understand or care. Ares falls under the latter. I mentioned it before but the history fan in me would have liked to see more of this interpretation of the war itself, the people—civilians, soldiers and even the elites—and seen the struggle inflicted by Ares’ influence, how the armistice stalled and all. The super hero fan in me is more than okay with how the film played out. This is Diana’s movie, after all.

It was a teeny bit difficult to see this prim and proper man in full battle gear, only because, apart from maybe Ian McKellen’s Magneto (and even then, it’s not the same) I’ve never seen a live-action comic book villain portrayed that way. It’s jarring, but fascinating, too. It also fits into the overall elegance of the film. I wouldn’t expect someone like Loki or Apocalypse to show up in Wonder Woman’s world. Not to say she couldn’t handle them, because let’s be honest, that would be one badass fight. It’s more like…I don’t know. Historical context. Perhaps their ancient, otherworldly blood. Anything else would have hampered the tone and created a clunky feeling. Besides, we got to see his indirect brutality in the form of Doctor Poison’s gas. This Ares, until the end it seemed, was the puppeteer who kept his hands behind his back, free of blood. I loved it. Alternative interpretations rock the boat and keep things fresh. Even the final battle felt different, as odd as it was to see this Englishmen throwing punches in his blocky armor. Their representation also served to illustrate that ‘ancient elder figure’ trying to teach or tame the ‘reckless younger.’ That I have seen a lot in this genre, saw it recently in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Diana, however, is such a different character from Peter Quill, and Ares, while on similar lines to his father whose name escapes me right now, is his own kind of destructive, with his own brand of motive that, like his half-sister, distinguish him from Marvel’s Celestial Kurt Russell.

There are two small qualms I have with the climax. The first is Ares’ revelation: Diana is the god-killer, not the sword. I don’t know why, but the impact failed to stick the way I wanted it to. Maybe because I’m unfamiliar with her New 52 origins, and I actually expected her to be Ares’ daughter (fun Mythological fact, the Amazons were actually Ares’ children, but I know that’s not the case in DC.) I thought perhaps Hippolyta kept the truth from her because she knew if Ares discovered he had a child he would try to corrupt her. Which I guess played out in some form anyway, even if she wound up being Zeus’ daughter instead. I’m okay with that; as I said before, Diana reminds me of Athena, also a child of Zeus, and came to be through unconventional means. I guess it’s just strange to me, to see so compassionate a character without the same tragedy circling Bruce and Clark…then again, I do primarily watch Marvel (and X-men) films and they practically wrote the book on character heartache. I mean, discovering the horrors of the mortal world and losing Steve are tragic, I guess I just expected something more? Perhaps more emphasis on the god-killer itself, or for greater impact when Diana found out. Did she know Zeus was her father? Or did she take her mother’s story in a more figurative sense? I know (the nurse?) was surprised to see her injuries so quickly healed, so I’m going to guess Diana herself wasn’t aware. That may be why I didn’t feel the same punch I was supposed to; I got a bit confused. Either way, I love Diana the way she is; we don’t need another jaded DC hero.

Before I forget, I want to give a shout-out to the human villains, too. Perhaps it was the era or the tone of the film but I personally felt that Doctor Poison and Ludendorff belonged in a German Expressionist film from the 1920s and 1930s—in a good way. I’ve seen a lot of old ‘mad science experiments gone awry’ films, some American, some British and some, of course, German. Doctor Poison especially, with her mask, and characterization felt very reminisce of Doctor Mabusa or Caligari. Again, it could have been the setting of the film, but I don’t know…their motives mixed with the overall elegance of the film felt very close to that old school horror I so love. I really wanted to know more about Poison’s mask, what happened to her face (although I’m assuming we’re to imply her work damaged her, physically, at some point.) Ludendorff was more the standard villain, something you might find out of SHIELD, but that they worked together, that he sort of…not spoke for her, but seemed to run the operation coincided with that same horror; two sides of the brain; the mad and the meticulous. Together, a fluid recipe for chaos.

I thought the final fight was awesome. Diana goes all out and we really get to see just how this twenty-first century Wonder Woman stands apart from her previous interpretations (movie and TV specifically.) As I stated earlier, I used to think Diana’s accessories and costume were, admittedly, a little cheesy and gimmicky. I don’t have the same nostalgic fondness for Diana that a lot of people do, I’m sure. I was too young to watch the live-action series and as I also said I never really connected with her animated version. This film for me rewrote my previous opinions. Her bracelets, and especially her lasso are awesome and the perfect aid for her. Of course BvS helped, but she was hardly in that movie and shoe-horned additions aren’t the same as a solo journey. On Ares’ end, there was also an appropriate amount of lightning. BvS completely overdid the lightning, to such a point it gave me a headache. Here, such effects felt appropriate for each character. With one tiny little exception: Diana’s grief.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved the direction they took Steve’s final moments, and his death hit so many poignant marks. Even though I kind of expected him to die, because he was so prevalent throughout the film part of me almost thought he might survive at the last moment, spared by Zeus or something. I’m glad he didn’t. A hundred years have passed, and I just don’t see her living with Steve until he died of old age.  I do, however, feel like I missed something when it came to Diana’s grief. It felt almost too sudden, too explosive and while it didn’t go over my head, it was like preparing for an undertow that failed to carry me all the way under. I’d like to see this movie again, see if I can figure out why that failed to strike. The DCEU is known for their flimsy editing choices; to find it in an otherwise well-done film is surprising. So perhaps it isn’t a creative choice, but something I personally missed. I’ll have to go back and watch it.

The only other gripe I have, and it is a small one, is the CGI. At least 95% of it translated successfully, from the lighting to the slow-motion (which isn’t really CGI but an effect nonetheless.) Kudos to the slow-motion, by the way. While used more than it probably ought to be, Diana looked so damn cool I don’t care. I was, however, bothered a bit by how evident the computer generated effects came into play whenever she was thrown or jumped into the air. It’s a small thing, but bothered me no less. I love watching these super beings call upon their powers. It’s something I’ve always wished I could do, so the noticeable imagery took me out of the moment. To go along with that, the last shot of the film lingered for far too long. I’m not sure what alternative might have fixed it, I just know it lingered because it felt long, and when some portion of a film feels long to the audience it’s generally a sign something’s got to be reworked or cut. Maybe fading to black and then having Diana’s voice linger instead…I’m not sure.

There is one last thing I’d like to talk about: Diana’s declaration she believed in love. I didn’t intend to leave it until the end, things just sort of unfolded that way. It is important though, so perhaps discussing it now is a good note to end on. I have seen so, so many movies, read so many books and watched enough TV I know how overused that concept is for a character’s turning point. Whether it be someone like Chris Eccleston’s Doctor, who may not believe in love necessarily but learned how to embraced it enough to die for it, or Kiara’s understanding of ‘we are one,’ or even the overall presiding theme of classic films like the Princess Bride. It’s everywhere, it’s been everywhere for a long, long time. So how this movie managed to use it, say it point blank, and avoid the expectant groan is beyond me. It’s so fitting, right? Female heroine falls in love and becomes a stronger individual for it. I hate that concept (I’m sorry, I do) but it works so well here. So well in fact that a small part of me cheered and a part of my heart hurt. It’s been nearly a week and I’m still baffled by my reaction. Maybe it’s this new connection I have with Diana, or something about her character and the little details in her journey that stand her apart from other heroes. Maybe I’ve become so embittered by my own life that finding someone like her (someone, again, I’ve learned to connect with) understanding at last these flawed humans through her lost love and his sacrifice instead of seeing this world strictly as good vs bad…or perhaps it is the world I live in now. A world so stirred by blind, rigid hatred with no room for that deeper understanding. Whatever it is, again I say, kudos to Patty Jenkins and kudos to Gal Gadot. You’ve successfully recruited me aboard the Wonder Woman fanboat. Never in a million years did I see that coming.

I’m sorry everyone, I didn’t expect this to be so long: this movie just hit so many buttons for me, both nerdy and emotional…which I guess sums up Wonder Woman’s overall appeal. She’s ancient and brazen, feminine and empathic: she’s a woman in every sense of the word and that is her greatest strength.