#I’m normal and fine and great and fantastic and okay

[alisonsfics]

place to crash

pairing: carmen berzatto x reader

summary: carmy steps in as your knight in shining armor when your apartment’s electricity breaks, which makes you both test the line between friends and something more

word count: 2.9k

warnings: swearing, whole lotta fluff

“Oh, come on. Hurry the fuck up,” you muttered to yourself. You were currently on hold with the electricity company.

After a hectic service at the Bear, you had come home to your pitch black apartment with no power. The one thing you wanted to do was curl up and eat some leftovers while watching some tv, but that clearly wasn’t happening tonight.

“Hello? Are you still there?” The man’s voice echoed through the speaker. “Yes, I’m here,” you said, quickly. You didn’t want to risk him hanging up on you and having to start this process all over again.

“So, it looks like our crew has already gone home for the day. We can’t send anyone to look at it until tomorrow morning.” He told you. You huffed, running your fingers through your hair. “Alright, thank you. Have a fantastic night,” you said, passive aggressively.

You threw your phone down onto the kitchen counter.

With the electricity out, that also meant no air conditioning. You pulled your hair up into a quick ponytail. You were already sweating, so you knew there was no way you could stay at your apartment for the night.

You glanced back down at your phone, and it felt like the answer was staring you in the face. You opened your contacts and saw the one person you knew you could always rely on.

You clicked on Carmy’s name, smiling to yourself when you saw his contact photo. It was a goofy picture of the two of you from a party that Sydney threw. He had his arm haphazardly thrown around your shoulders. You were sticking your tongue out at the camera while he kissed your cheek.

You both had a history of becoming more affectionate than normal when you had been drinking. That night was a great example.

It only rang once before he answered. “Hey, what’s up? Are you okay?” He asked, immediately. Having seen Carmy less than an hour ago, he knew something was going on if you were calling him so soon.

“Hey, I’m fine, no need to panic. I just have a little favor to ask you, but you can totally say no—” you started to explain before he interrupted you.

“You’ve got it. What do you need?” He answered without a second thought. It made your cheeks heat up. Carmy was always ready to drop everything for you.

“You don’t even know what it is yet, Berzatto.” You told him, giggling to yourself. You couldn’t see him, but you could perfectly imagine the way he’d shrug. “I don’t need to know. I have no reason to doubt you.” He said, simply.

“Not even gonna make me work for it?” You teased him.

“You never have to work for it. Not with me,” he told you, honestly. Every time you talked to Carmy, it became harder for you to pretend you weren’t head over heels for him.

“Alright, well the power is out at my apartment—” you started to tell him. “Come stay at my place tonight,” he offered. You felt so grateful for him.

“Are you sure it’s not a burden? You don’t have to feel pressured to say yes.” You assured him, but you knew his answer wouldn’t change.

“Of course I’m sure. I’m not letting you stay at your apartment with no power. Come on over. I’m making dinner now. You eaten yet?” He asked. “No, not yet,” you told him.

“Alright, perfect. I’ll make you a plate, and I’ll see you in a few minutes,” he said, and you could hear that he was smiling.

“Thank you, Carmy, truly. I’ll see you soon,” you said, before hanging up.

You quickly grabbed a bag and stuffed some essentials inside it before heading out the door. Carmy’s apartment was only a short walk from your apartment. After five or ten minutes, you were at his door.

You knocked on the door and heard a lot of noise on the other side. “It’s open,” you heard Carmy yell.

You turned the doorknob slowly before walking inside. You saw Carmy turning his pullout couch into a bed. He was neatly fixing the blankets and adding some pillows.

You also noticed the table was set with two plates of pasta, and you couldn’t tell where, but from somewhere in the apartment jazz music was playing.

“You didn’t have to do all of this for me, Carmy,” you said, feeling guilty. He put a final pillow on the bed and walked towards you. “I wanted to,” he said, simply. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in for a quick hug.

“I’m sorry about your apartment,” he said, sincerely.

“None of that is your fault, Carmy. You don’t have to apologize.” You replied. His hand grazed the small of your back, and he gestured towards the dining table. He even made sure to pull your chair out from the table for you.

“Such a gentleman,” you said, unable to get the smile off your face. You always felt like a giggly schoolgirl around Carmy. “Only the best for you,” he jokingly flirted, but wasn’t willing to push it any further.

Carmy cared about you so much. You were practically his world, and he was terrified that if he told you that, you’d leave.

After eating dinner, you both got ready for bed in Carmy’s bathroom. It made you feel like a married couple, and you had to force yourself to ignore it.

“I know I’ve asked you like ten times, but are you sure you don’t want my bed? I can sleep on the couch.” He offered, wanting you to feel right at home. You grabbed his hand without thinking about it.

“Carmy, you are so sweet, but I promise that sleeping on a couch will not kill me. I will be fine, sweetie.” You told him. You weren’t sure where the pet name had come from. You’d never called Carmy “sweetie” before.

Carmy had practically jumped out of his skin hearing the name roll so smoothly off your tongue. He only wanted to hear you call him sweetie from now on. It took everything in his power to not confess his love to you right then and there.

“Okay, fine,” he gave up, knowing you were more stubborn than he was. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug. You happily wrapped your arms around him as he held on to you.

You were taking in every part of this moment. You could smell his cologne, the same one he’d worn since you met him. You’d told him how much you liked it once, and he promised himself he’d never change it.

“Goodnight. Sleep well,” he said, kissing the top of your head and leaving you smitten.

You walked into the living room, and fell asleep within seconds of crawling under the blankets.

In the middle of the night, a sound woke you up. You jumped to sit up, looking around to see what the noise was. The bright LED numbers from the clock read 3:42. You realized the sound was someone jiggling the doorknob on the front door.

You jumped off the couch and ran into Carmy’s bedroom. You were half awake, and it was the only thing you could think of.

You reached forward and placed your hand on Carmy’s forearm, trying to wake him up. He jumped up as soon as you touched him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, quickly. Even being half awake and in a dark room, he was somehow still able to sense that you were afraid. “It sounds like somebody’s trying to come in the front door.” You told him, which woke him up fast.

He grabbed the bat from beside his bed and headed towards the front door. Your fear only made him more confident. He knew that he needed to step up and protect you.

You stayed behind him. He got within a few feet of the door. Then, you both saw the door start to open.

“Get the hell out,” Carmy threatened whoever was on the other side of the door.

The door quickly was flung all the way open. “Cousin, chill the fuck out. It’s me.” You both heard Richie say.

You both breathed a sigh of relief. Carmy dropped the bat down to his side, irritated at Richie. “Do you know what time it is? What the fuck are you doing here?” Carmy asked him.

Richie flipped on the light switch and held up his spare key, as though that explained his presence.

“Oh shit, Y/N? What’re you doing here?” Richie asked, finally noticing you standing behind Carmy.

Before you could even answer, Richie’s eyes darted between the two of you. He saw Carmy just in boxers and you in an oversized tshirt, which he assumed must’ve belonged to Carmy. Then, it made sense to him.

“Oh wait. You two are hooking up?” He asked, smirking at the both of you. Richie was the most convinced of all your friends that you and Carmy were meant for each other. He saw it all, especially the way that your’s and Carmy’s gaze always found each other in a crowded room.

“No!” You and Carmy both quickly assured him, but Richie’s smirk didn’t fade. He didn’t believe either of you for a second.

“She’s just sleeping here tonight,” Carmy tried to explain.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure there’s been lots of sleeping going on here.” Richie teased, causing Carmy to put his head in his hands.

“The electricity is out at my apartment, so Carmy’s letting me crash here tonight. That’s it,” you tried to shut Richie up.

“So you came here for the electricity?” Richie asked, very aware of the double entendre. He loved how much he could get under yours and Carmy’s skin with just a few comments. “You’re the worst, Richie.” Carmy said, exasperatedly.

“See, we have the pullout,” you said, gesturing towards the couch. You saw a mischievous glint in Richie’s eyes. Richie was like a brother, so you knew the joke he was going to make before he even opened his mouth.

“The pullout COUCH, you fucking child,” you said, smacking his arm. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carmy with his eyes trained on the floor and his hand covering his mouth as he tried not to laugh.

You crossed your arms and frowned at him. “You are not helping,” you said, glaring at him. He quickly held his hands up in surrender, not wanting you to hit him too.

Richie moved past the joke, but wasn’t quite ready to stop teasing you yet.

“The couch looks pretty messy to me. I wonder how that happened.” He teased. You knew that was just trying to get under your skin, but if you stopped denying what he was saying, he’d be so much worse.

“Yeah, cause I jumped up in a panic thinking someone was breaking in.” You defended. Carmy placed his hand on your back, rubbing small circles. You and Richie were the two most stubborn people he knew, and he knew that neither of you liked to lose an argument.

“And little Carmy was ready to protect you? I won’t lie, that’s pretty sweet, dude.” Richie said, watching the way Carmy’s cheeks turned a soft shade of pink.

“So, why’re you here?” Carmy asked, changing the subject. Richie plopped himself down on the couch. “I need to crash here too. My neighbors are in a big fight and they won’t shut the fuck up.” Richie explained.

“Well, you aren’t staying here. Go find some other fucking place to stay.” Carmy said. He didn’t want anyone to break up his alone time with you.

“That’s not what you told her.” Richie argued, gesturing towards you. Richie had a point, but Carmy would never tell you no.

“Richie, just please leave. Besides, there’s nowhere for you to sleep,” Carmy begged him. Carmy knew if Richie stayed out, it would ruin everything with you. Richie would tease every move he made, and he couldn’t be as affectionate with you. That should have been Carmy’s first indicator that you both were more than friends.

“I’m taking the couch, you two figure out the rest.” Richie said, grabbing you both by the wrists and shoving you into Carmy’s bedroom. Carmy went to open the door, but realized Richie was leaning against the back of the door.

“Richie, let us out,” Carmy begged. You went and sat down on Carmy’s bed. “Carmy, c’mere, you know Richie’s stubborn, and he won’t give up,” you said, patting the spot next to you.

“Reminds me of someone else,” he teased you as he sat beside you. You lightly smacked his arm. “I am not stubborn. I was out there defending myself but also defending you. He’s gonna be insufferable at work tomorrow. He’ll tell everyone that we hooked up, and we’ll never hear the end of it.” You rambled.

“He’s been trying to get us to hook up for years, it might just be easier to actually do it and shut him up.” Carmy joked before he could process the words he was saying.

You felt your eyes go wide. “I’m sorry, Carmen Berzatto. Did I mishear you? Did you just suggest that we hook up?” You asked, truly stumped.

“Don’t look at me like that. I was just joking.” He tried to backpedal. He couldn’t read your expression, which was a first. It was because if he’d actually suggested it, you would have said yes immediately.

“I’m sorry about this. First, your apartment. And now, Richie being Richie.” He said, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. “Carmy, none of this is your fault.” You said, grabbing his hand and tracing your finger over his tattoos.

You both were painfully aware of the fact that you’d never been this physically close before. This was beyond the level of affection that you both could defend as friendly.

“So, if it wasn’t Richie, you were gonna protect me?” You asked.

“Of course, I was. I’m always watching out for you. Gotta keep my girl safe,” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

You sat straight up. Once again, you thought you’d misheard him. “Oh, fuck it,” he said, cupping your face and kissing you roughly. It didn’t take you any time to kiss him back.

He pressed his palms against your back and carefully pushed you back onto his bed. You ran your fingers across his toned chest. You could feel his muscles flex under your touch.

“I thought you said you were joking,” you teased him as he pressed kisses down your jaw. He let out a soft chuckle, his chest shaking against you. “Why? Do you want me to stop?” He teased.

“Fuck no,” you mumbled, cupping his face and pulling him down to kiss you. His fingers fumbled with the hem of your tshirt, letting his hands slip under it and caress your skin.

He felt you groan against the kiss and took it as a sign to keep going. One of his hands crept higher up your chest while he removed his other hand. He grabbed the bottom of your shirt and was ready to pull it over your head when the door burst open.

“Richie, the fuck? Get out,” Carmy yelled, quickly pulling your shirt back down to make sure you were completely covered. You hid your face in Carmy’s chest, not wanting to face Richie. You could already imagine the smug grin on his face.

“Well well well,” Richie said, in his signature “I told you so” tone.

Carmy didn’t want to put up with his gloating. “Richie, enough. Out!” He repeated, grabbing a pillow off the bed and throwing it at Richie’s face. The whole time he kept one arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him and letting you hide from Richie.

Richie jumped backwards to dodge the pillow and finally closed the bedroom door. As soon as the door clicked closed, Carmy cupped your face with one hand and kissed you again.

You could feel the butterflies in your stomach as he ran his hand down your side. He let his fingers trace every inch of your skin.

You placed your hand on his chest and pushed him away. “Did I do something wrong?” Carmy asked, immediately concerned.

You quickly shook your head, trying to reassure him. “There’s nothing I want more right now, but we can’t do this with Richie here. You know that, Carm.” You said, caressing his cheek.

“One part of my brain knows that, but the other part knows how long I’ve waited for this, for you,” pressing a soft kiss against your cheek, “but you’re right.” he said.

“We’ve waited this long, what’s a little longer?” You joked, smiling up at him. He kissed your forehead, falling in love with the way you were looking at him. “Tomorrow night. I’m gonna take you out to dinner, and we’ll have a real date. I’m gonna spoil you.” He said, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I’m looking forward to it,” you said, leaning forward to peck his lips.

You both sat in silence, soaking in the moment. You both knew that it was perfect, and you wanted to remember it forever.

“You look really pretty in the moonlight.” You complimented him, admiring the way Carmy’s curls framed his face.

“You’re making it really hard to not fall in love with you,” he teased, pulling you in for another kiss.

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[wlw-imagines]

Behind The Curtain - Amelia Shepherd/Reader (Grey’s Anatomy)

request: Could you do a oneshot with Amelia Shepard where they both work at the hospital and are secretly dating. One day Arizona or Meredith or somebody catches them making out and then teases them about it the rest of the day. You're writing is fantastic! Thanks for reading this :) - anon

a/n: these are from my old tumblr thefandomwritings from back in 2018 ! re-vamped and re-purposed!! hope u enjoy and forgive the 2018 me style writing

Keeping your relationship with Amelia secret had been pretty easy for the two of you.

Whilst you were rarely seen venturing further than paediatrics ward, Amelia was similarly tied down to Neuro, being a neurosurgeon, and to whatever various tasks kept her occupied elsewhere in the hospital. Therefore there was never any need to cover anything up about your long-term relationship.

It had begun as a late night fling, early on in your careers at Seattle Grace - you had both finished a shift at the same time and walked into each other as you were buying a coffee.

She smiled sleepily, her eyes bleary as she gripped the coffee cup, “Y/L/N, right?”

You nodded at the correct name, and also in recognition of the woman in front of you, “Amelia.”

“Coffee? At this late hour?” She smirked, a twinkle growing in her eyes.

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “I could say the same for you.”

Amelia shrugged and started walking at your side, “I won’t get any sleep any time soon anway, what’s your excuse?” She raised an eyebrow as the two of your left the cafeteria.

“Same.” You shrugged, before turning back to face her and fully reigstering the look in her eyes. You took a slight risk, hoping it was the correct one, “Want to come back to mine? We can talk about how shit life is and commiserate together?”

“I’m less of a talker, more of a do-er.” She caught your expression of a raised eyebrow and shook her head, “Not like that!”

“Hey, we can do whatever you want to do.” You laughed, “I can make us more coffee at home? Stronger coffee.”

“Okay. I’d like that.”

You were fortunate really because whenever you were around one another your love was probably too obvious and your relationship was something that you felt didn't need to be known by everyone yet. So, the longer it could be kept a secret, the better. There would be no complaints of favouritism in surgery and no teasing during late night shifts, it was just straight up easier.

And while normally the distance between your areas of expertise was in your favour, sometimes, on the rare occasion, the paediatrics and brain surgery teams would collaborate. It was at time like these that it was much more difficult to keep your hands off each other.

The day had started with Arizona rushing towards you, a stressed look on her face reserved for only the worst cases. "We have a nine year old girl coming in with serious unspecified head injuries. I've paged Lady Shepherd so she is on her way up, you'll be following the case with me." She rushed out, no time to pause.

"Wait, I... Lady Sheph- Amelia is being given the case?" You asked, your heart hammering slightly once you heard the name.

"She is our in-house neurosurgeon so, yes. She is. Do you have a problem with that Y/L/N?" The woman quirked an eyebrow up at you, giving you one of her looks that you could hardly ever interpret so you just stuttered away.

"N-no, not at all. That's fine, it's great. Good for her." You stumbled through some random words that didn't even really make sense in the situation before you were interrupted by your girlfriend walking through the doors.

There was just something about her in authority and her scrubs that turned you on and that was why you were better off separated. So you found yourself relatively lucky to not be included in the team that went into surgery.

You avoided the viewing platform. But even when you were stuck outside doing paperwork you still found yourself too distracted, your mind wandering off too many times, thinking of what you would do to the woman once you were in the safety of your own apartment. 

It was going to be a long day.

You had waited until the surgery was finished until you snuck into a call room. Amelia had been walking past when you attempted to (subtly) pull her into the  room with you. You immediately closed the door and pinned her up against it, making an attempt to lock the door before Amelia flipped the tables and pushed you against the wall. The look in her eyes immediately brought back memories of how your relationship had initially begun.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked, pulling back with a confused look on her face.

Leaning forward, you kissed her nose and hummed slightly, "I love you, is all." 

The smile remained on your face as you leant slowly in. Your lips connected and the kiss only became more passionate as the pent up frustration of long, hard days and not seeing each other as much as you needed to built up. You weren't even in there to hook up like you always used to, you just need to be close and be together.(Although, shirts were beginning to be unbuttoned...)

You were vaguely aware of footsteps approaching but you were too caught up with Amelia and had just assumed they had passed. That was until you heard a small gasp coming from the doorway.

Amelia and you pulled away from each other as quickly as you could, your girlfriend stumbling back and almost falling over had it not been for you grabbing her waist and wrapping your arms around her to prevent the fall.

Once she was secure you turned your head back to whoever had interrupted with a smile that was as innocent as you could make it before clearing your throat, "Arizona... Hey."

"Well, I was not expecting this...” A small grin spread across her lips and she let out a gleeful laugh, “Actually, you know what I kind of was. Y/N's been acting strange." Arizona smiled with an evil twinkle in her eye, "I can't believe you guys haven't told me!" You quickly shushed her before pulling her into the call room and closing the door behind her. "I love you guys but at least buy me dinner first..." She joked, earning a light slap on the arm from you.

"What are you doing?" You asked, running your hand through your hair and starting to fidget.

Arizona paused, "I was going to take a nap... in the call room. Because that's what-"

Your girlfriend looked at her watch and shrugged at you, "Look at the time, I've got to go." Amelia, spoke up from the corner, sliding out the door without another word.

You went to walk after her but turned to Arizona who was still standing there with a smile on her face, "You scared my girlfriend away." You pouted.

Arizona just wrapped her arms around you and rocked you side to side, "I'm so proud of you!"

"Shut up."

"But you're both so cute."

"Shut up!" You pushed her slightly, laughing.

"And you've finally found someo-"

You gave her one last look before opening the door, "Okay, I'm leaving now!" You said, walking out.

"Love you." She yelled after your disappearing body.

"Love you too." You yelled back before adding on, "And don't you dare tell anyone!”

--------------------------------

"Y/N," You jokingly rolled your eyes when confronted with Arizona leaning on the nurse desk with a big smile on her face. You prepared yourself for the teasing that was inevitably about to come and pretended to be more interested in the paperwork in front of you. The teasing over the past week had been neverending, "Listen, I know I've been making fun of you and your girlfriend all day and I just wanted to let you know that I support you 100%. I promise that I won't let anyone know of your little secret, okay?" You visibly relaxed and looked back up at her.

You smiled, putting your hand over hers, "You know, you didn't need to tell me that. I trusted you from the beginning but thank you all the same."

She nodded and went to leave before turning back to you, "By the way, I've given your girlfriend a little gift - you may want to go up and say hi. She's in the nursery."

Confused, you frowned slightly but didn't question it as you nodded and made your way to the other side of the ward, where all the newborns are kept.

You stepped in front of the window looking into the nursery and felt your heart skip a beat to see Amelia cradling one of the babies. She caught your eye and her eyes twinkled slightly as she looked down at the baby in her arms. You sighed blissfully and stepped into the room.

"Are you terrorizing the children?" You asked, looking around at the other 3 cribs, each holding a tiny, delicate baby. You stepped closer to Amelia, putting an arm around her lower back and looking down at the baby.

"They're our kids without any home, or parents." Amelia whispered, rocking the baby slightly before shifting the pink blanket to cover her head and little waving hand that had fallen out when she was trying to reach up to your girlfriend. "I kind of thought you were just going to end the sentence at, 'they're our kids' and then you would have a lot of explaining to do."

"Surprise!" She sarcastically cheered before one last rock of the baby. Between the two of you, you managed to safely get her back into her cot and tucked up in her blanket before sneaking out the door.

You both stood in each other's embrace for a while, just soaking in each other's love and company.

"Y'know, maybe it's good that people know about us - especially Arizona." You mumble, longingly staring at the bundles left in the nursery, "if it gets us perks like getting to cuddle cute babies during work then I'm so up for coming out to everyone." You joked.

Amelia just nodded, "Me too." You looked up, slightly surprised as it hadn't really been something you had discussed yet. "Hey, you want to stay at mine and get chinese tonight?"

"Do you have the house to yourself?" You asked with surprise, since these are the only times you get to stay round and even then it is like a military mission. "No, it's a full house tonight. I'm introducing you to them."

"Babe, you realise I know your friends and they know me. We're part of the same friendship group."

"I know, but I get to introduce you as my girlfriend." She grinned and began walking back down the corridor, back to work before yelling over her shoulder, "Plus I get to show them pictures of our children!"

[soulprompts]

THE SURPRISING HERO ( A PROMPT LIST! )

hello my beloveds!!! an absolutely incredible nonnie sent in a request for prompts based on the idea of someone becoming a vital part of saving the world through unanticipated events, and i hope i managed to achieve what they wanted in this list! basically i got a tonne of inspiration from comic book movies and the more fantastical vibes of high fantasy franchises, and i was going to make these more amusing, but i think there's something so hard-hitting about the concept of being thrust into greatness and heroism when you feel you aren't ready for it! anyway! enjoy, and as always: DO NOT ADD TO OR EDIT THIS LIST, AND DO NOT CLAIM AS YOUR OWN!

FROM THE UNEXPECTED HERO:

“ i’m not supposed to be here. i’m not like the rest of you; i’m not special, or blessed, or gifted. i’m just… me. “

“ you’ve got to be joking! i can’t save the world! i’m just an ordinary person! “

“ it’s funny. all these years, i’ve wanted so badly to see the world. now… i think i’ve never wanted anything so much as to go back home. “

“ so that’s it, then? i’m just supposed to sacrifice everything to save the world, all because some ancient prophecy says so? “

“ i still can’t quite believe we were doing laundry yesterday. now our biggest chore is traveling across the world to save it. “

“ i miss home. i miss how safe and boring and fine it all was. i never would’ve wanted adventures if i thought they’d be as scary and dangerous as this. “

“ they’re right to be angry, you know. everyone has a purpose here; i’m only joining you all because of some insane twist of fate. “

“ surprised? don’t worry, so was i. i don’t think it’s a normal occurrence for people like me to be part of massive quests like this. “

“ look. i’m not the chosen one, alright? i don’t want any part in any prophecy or ancient dictation. i just want to live an ordinary, safe, boring life. “

“ you think i don’t acknowledge what’s happening?! every mistake i make has costs, and those costs are often the lives of innocent people! “

“ you know, last year my idea of a grand adventure was going up the mountains for a picnic with my friends. funny how fast things change, isn’t it? “

“ i’m not a hero! i don’t know how to fight! heroes are special and unique and trained, and i’m none of those things. “

“ everyone looks at me like i’ve got the answers, but i don’t. i was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. “

“ you ever stop to question the solidity of this prophecy? because if the wording is that vague that it could name me as the savior of the world, then maybe we ought to revise it. “

“ this is stupid! putting the fate of the universe on some million-year-old prophecy! “

“ i’m not what you think i am. i’m not a hero. i’m sorry, i know you want me to be one, but… i’m just not. “

“ so you’re telling me, because i happened to overhear some weird out of context conversation, that the safety of the world relies entirely on me? “

“ don’t you see how daft this whole thing is?! i’ve got to save the world now because i happened to take a wrong turn on my way home! “

“ why can’t i just give you guys what i found, and you can go and rescue the world yourselves? “

“ i want to clarify that i’m not a coward. okay? i’m not running away from this. but i’m not exactly save-the-world material. so thank you for the opportunity, but… i think i’ll stay at home. “

TO THE UNEXPECTED HERO:

“ i get it, you know. it’s a huge responsibility for someone who’s only just realized what’s at stake. “

“ the others think i’m utterly mad for even considering you for this task. but the fact is, you’re the only person i genuinely believe to be capable of fixing this mess. “

“ would you like to know the mark of a true hero? it’s courage. not an absence of fear, not an ignorance of it, but rather, the choice to persevere in spite of it. you’re still here. that makes you one of the bravest people on the planet. “

“ don’t let anyone else tell you what you are and aren’t capable of. everything happens for a reason, and it wasn’t dumb luck that put you in our path. “

“ i don’t believe in prophecies, personally. i think the universe is far too chaotic for them to survive thousands of years. but i do believe that you being here is not a coincidence. “

“ fate only accounts for part of what happens in our lives. the rest of it is all choices. and despite how scared and inexperienced you are… you’ve chosen to stay. that tells me an awful lot about you. “

“ how selfish can you be?! running away from this destiny, this task! the world will fall into darkness if you don’t step up, and here you are, hiding from your fate like a coward! “

“ you need to learn to ignore the opinions of others if you’re going to stand a chance at doing this. this is the cost of being a hero. people will judge, not based on truth, but on a limited perspective. “

“ don’t be stupid. we’re not special or talented either; i was trained from childhood, i can fight men twice my size, but that’s not the mark of a hero. “

“ if you like, i could teach you how to fight? you may find it useful. even if it’s just to comfort yourself against these ridiculous self-doubts. “

“ heroes aren’t always massive muscle types. the inventor of new defense measures against attacks, or someone who discovered a cure for a disease, or perhaps someone clever enough to use new fuel sources in the winter… heroism isn’t always found in warzones, you know. “

“ fine. don’t do it for the fate of the world. do it for your family. your friends. do it for the ones you’ll return to once we settle this for good. save this world, not for the world itself, but for the ones you love, so that they may live on. “

“ you should know some things. most people, if you somehow perform outside of the very specific expectations they have for you, will be very quick and harsh in their judgment. it’s not something one can avoid. but you can learn to rise above those critics. remember. they don’t know the real you. “

" fear is normal. okay? we all fear things. the real killer is when you try to fight that fear. you're no lesser a hero for fearing things. expect it. accept it. embrace it. and once it's with you, work with it to fight even more. "

" you keep saying you're not a hero. tell me. what exactly is it that you believe a hero to be? "

" people make the error of assuming heroes to be golden, flawless, immaculate in both thought and strategy. it's never the case. heroes are the most flawed of all. that's what makes us admire them so. "

[mykoreanlove]

doom in a cap

„Aren’t you sad?“

„About what?“, you asked confused.

„Well, about everything that happened? Or didn’t happen?“, your friend replied bewildered. 

Flashbacks of the first days after the incident made it into your mind, making you shudder internally. Low vibes, bad mood, constant longing and suppressed tears - the well known results of your own actions.

„What’s there to be sad about?“, you played it cool.

„Oh my god, y/n, keep it real, will you? You went out with Yoongi, your platonic friend, and met his friends, one of them being exactly your type.“

„He wasn’t my type.“, you interrupted. 

„He was enough to almost let him fuck you though…“, your friend mumbled under her breath. You shot her a glaring look, daring her to keep this going.

„Okay, fine. He may not have looked like your dream guy but you were certainly into him. And besides, all the other points were met! You told me so yourself - he was funny, smart, charming, successful and a fantastic dancer. Which is exactly your type, y/n.“

Your friend was right but you didn’t want to admit it. When you met Hobi for the first time you felt starstruck. He didn’t look like the guys you normally fantasized about but something about him made you feel for him. His cute smile, his sunshine aura, his whole being just made you feel fuzzy and warm. That feeling only grew as you got to know him more.

„He was just a flirt, okay?“, you tried to drop the topic.

„Maybe. But are you really okay with that?“, your friend asked concerned.

„What do you want me to say? That I’m sad? Fine, I’m sad! All night Hobi and I flirted and laughed and had a great time, we always found our way back to one another even though I was there with Yoongi, who was having the worst time as usual.“, you started to rant.

„Y/N…“

„You want me to say that I’m devastated? Yeah, I am. I wasn’t sure if he really liked me or just flirted a lot but when we all went back to his place it was crystal clear that he liked me, too. The conversations got more serious, the longing in our eyes got deeper and finally, when everybody else was asleep, he kissed me and confessed that he liked me.“, tears started to form in the brink of your eyes. 

Your friend wanted to console you but chose not to, giving you the time of day to finally admit how you really felt.

„Am I heartbroken because it felt like more when in fact it wasn’t? Yeah. I am. While everybody else was sleeping we were making out, quietly, giggling and panting like stupid teenagers. God, I would have fucked him all night long if it wasn’t for the fact that there were no condoms in his spare room. We went to sleep, next to his other friends, while we were hugging and kissing and grinding and ugh…“, you stopped frustrated.

„Did I want to be with him? Yes. Do I miss his fingers inside of me? Yes. Do I miss his strong grip on me? Yes. Do I miss the sound of his deep voice filled with sleep in the morning? Yes. Almost as much as his scent, so yes, I am sad. Happy now?“

„You know that I’m not, y/n.“, your friend said concerned.

„It’s just.. I feel so stupid, you know?“, you broke down crying.

„Why do you feel stupid?“

„Because every time I do something like this, some casual shit, it always ends the same. I mistake it for something, like it would mean something. When in fact, it’s just an act. Hobi didn’t ask for my number all night long, not once. All the cuddles and kisses and compliments were an act. Or maybe he meant them but he didn’t mean them enough to make them mean something. At least not with me.“, you explained saddened.

„You wanted him to want you more, right?“

You nodded silently.

„Even if this was just fun for a short time, I wanted to be the one deciding. Just once. Now I’m back at square one - falling for every guy that is nice to me when all they want to do is get in my pants.“, the bitterness was evident in your voice.

„We don’t know that for sure, though.“, your friend intervened.

„What?“

„I mean, there could be different reasons for him acting that way.“

„Reasons? As in plural?“

Your friend nodded eagerly.

„Yeah, I mean think about it. Maybe he just wanted to get in your pants and decided that this time was enough. Or maybe, he didn’t plan to get with you at all.“

„Is that supposed to make me feel better?“, you snapped.

„Geez, relax. You said so yourself - he is Yoongi’s friend. Maybe he knows more than you do?“ „What are you insinuating?“ „Yoongi might have feelings for you, y/n. And it would be a shitty move to get with you knowing that his friend has a crush on you.“

You paused for a moment and thought about the night again. 

Every time that Yoongi was near, Hobi was more restricted. The first time his hands landed on your body was when Yoongi left the club for a moment. The first time his lips crashed onto yours was when everybody else was sleeping, including Yoongi. In fact, every time Yoongi re-appeared was the turning point for Hobi, averting himself from you and growing more distant. 

Your eyes widened in shock, since you never had considered this possibility.

„You never thought about Yoongi having feelings for you?“

„Of course not. We are just friends. I don’t see him like that.“

„Yeah, but maybe he sees you this way.“

„Do you think he regrets it?“

„Hobi?“

You nodded silently. 

„I really don’t know. But I could understand him being hesitant with you now. Maybe he didn’t plan on hitting on you but it just happened, after a long night out drinking. And now he doesn’t know how to act.“

You let out a deep sigh. 

„This sucks.“

Your friend agreed, placing her head on your shoulder.

„I know.“

Thousand thoughts raced through your mind as you tried to make sense out of this. You didn’t want to hurt Yoongi but you were selfish enough to acknowledge that you were more concerned about yourself. If he wanted to, he would find a way to get in touch with you. You took another glance at your phone, staring at the black screen. An uneasiness spread through your whole body, clouding every cell with anxiety as you wondered if Hobi would ever want to want you. 

[absolutebl]

Heyo! I have a friend I'm trying to get more into BL. She's watched KinnPorsche and I recently got her to watch 3 Will Be Free (I know, not BL). She's somewhat picky about the romance she likes to consume, so I thought I'd ask you which BLs you think would be best to get her started with the genre. Her specifications are 1) a good, solid plot (any type is fine); 2) slow burn; 3) and good chemistry. She also loves sci fi and fantasy. My initial thoughts are MoD, Not Me, and AToTS. Any additions?

BLs with: 1 Good Story, 2 Slow Burn, 3 Good Chemistry, 4 PNR elements if possible

I have not one specific list for you, but several! Many of these not updated so likely to recommend pre the 2023 madness. (Imma rag on some of your choices briefly: KP & MoD only satisfy one criteria - chemistry IMHO.

I did give you a final list of winners at the bottom tho!

1) BLs with the best stories:

2) BLs with best slow burn:

3) BLs with the best chemistry:

(by my definition)

4) PNR BLs (paranormal, sci-fi, or fantastical elements)

P'ABL did the math:

BLs that do or should show up on most of those lists:

Dear Doctor I’m Coming for Soul (Thailand) - the first one I thought of that satisfies all criteria. Good story, great chemistry, PNR & slow burn. By your friend's accounting, this should be the perfect BL. I'm a fan of this show and I have a full review here BUT I don't actually rec it often. Why? My quibble with DDICFS is that for dyed-in-the-wool BL or romance fans the ending may not satisfy, BUT that seems to be the one thing your friend is NOT - so this should be perfect.

Triage (Thailand) - good chemistry, frustratingly slow burn, def PNR, and good story. This was my second pull. It suffered at the time of airing from distribution issues and (perhaps more sadly) being up against KP. It's really good tho. A “correct the past” Groundhog Day plot, that has narrative baggage I normally do not like but is so clever about time loops, I have to forgive it my hang-ups. About a doctor who must save a boy to fix reality, but not in the usual way. 

Until We Meet Again (Thailand) - GREAT story, decent chemistry, very PNR, but not slow burn. It’s a perfectly executed fated mates reincarnation plot, fantastic well-seeded twists & reveals, and the only BL I would love to see adapted by other countries or read professionally translated. 

Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan) - slow burn, great story & chemistry, no PNR. This is a deceptively simple office romance that actually has a lot to say about life, love, maturity, and pancakes. It’s charming but also deeply moving and loving in its exploration of what it means to give up, and how connection can bring with it second chances. It’s also beautifully filmed and acted. 

Seven Days (Japan) - slow burn, great romance plot, good chemistry, no PNR. This is a pitch perfect elegant little YA romance that stays completely true to its yaoi roots but neatly avoids all the flaws of the genre. The story is deceptively simple but allows for angst and miscommunication to develop with VERY good reason, and is almost worth studying because of that. As a romance, it is elegant. I can see why it got stolen adapted.

1000 Stars (Thailand) - solid romance, very slow burn, okay chemistry, no PNR. All BL is romantic, but not all BL is a modern romance in the literary sense of the term, but 1k* is just that, an absolutely glorious slow burn gay romance that nods at BL but isn’t behooven to it. It’s just a really well executed linear romance story.

HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan 2019 Viki) - not PNR and maybe not exactly slow burn but aces everything else. (This was MY KP when it aired.) Taiwan often struggles with story because their BLs aren’t always long enough to really get stuck in, Trapped is different. It has a baby murder investigation that promotes conflict between the leads, so the romantic tension is between plot and character, it’s so smart. The leads did a GREAT job of showcasing mature chemistry. The side dishes in this series are wonderful too. The main couple has an amorphous ending, but like with Dear Doctor, that shouldn't rank under these specific circumstances.

My School President (Thai 2023 YouTube) - great chemistry, very slow burn, okay story, no PNR BUT you have to like YA. I know not everyone does. This is very youthful. GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORE this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? Possibly too slow burn for some, we wait many eps for that pay out, and Tin's pining is NOT quiet, but it defines dorky and earnest, so when the payout comes? Lovely.

About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga) - exactly the same criteria as MSP just Taiwan's version. A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by an almost real world queer authenticity and grit. Full review here.

See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan 2021 Viki) - it's short there isn't a ton of story development, but it's a nice nugget introduction to Taiwan's style. Great chemistry, def slow burn, and CUTE. This under-appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charming and adorable yet still quintessentially Taiwanese. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. How does Taiwan do it?

Why no KBL?

Fascinating but despite the fact that KBL tends to earn the highest ratings from me and occupies the most slots in my 10/10 BLs of all time, because they are so short they tend to fall... erm... short in the arena of story and slow burn. Also, until recently, not a lot of great chemistry.

So here are a few others I considered but ended up eliminating for not containing enough of your required elements:

He's Coming to Me (Thailand) - review here

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) - this has a 12th Night meet Cinderfella feel to it, plus some great story tricks like a plot that requires a historical setting (I love it when narrative elements are codependent). 

Our Dining Table - It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me with the best of what Japan can do, it’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, it’s OK with me, but not totally BL.

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan) - full review here

Ghost Host Ghost House - if your friend likes horror and culture immersion this might be a winner. Boys shack up with ghosts and each other. The story is weak but everything else is on point and it has some of the best slow burn HOT chemistry ever to hit our screens. No... really. The THIRST is real.

Semantic Error (2022 Viki) - Simple story, no PNR, not slow burn, but for Korea it’s some of the best chemistry the traditional studios have ever managed. It is flawless BL. Truly, perfection for the genre. If your friend doesn't like this, BL is probubly not the right genre. Full review. 

Light on Me - def slow burn but story is a little weak and while there is chemistry, it's not really acted upon. Also v YA and a little stiff. I love this BL unreasonably.

KP not tagged to protect me from the fandom. Don't troll me and prove my point. Remember I can has ban hammer and am not afraid to use it.

(source)

[truths33k3r4]

Day 11- Forced to Go to the Doctor/Medic/Hospital - SIW

Lotus stretched out her arms as she sat cross-legged on the couch, groaning and wincing from the tightness in her limbs left from another restless night. It was far past morning now, slowly creeping into the afternoon as the light of warm rays peeked their heads through the grates above the sewer tunnels. 

Leo had already come through the Living Room earlier, asking about how Lotus slept, to which she replied with a simple, “Fine”. As per usual, he didn’t let her curt answer slide, and pressed her for more details.

What, am I supposed to have a full essay on my levels of sleep ready? Is that a normality in this household? It’s flipping five AM. He’s lucky I’m cognitive enough to speak.

Following a pointlessly draining argument about “being honest” and “not letting her feelings go unchecked”, Leo finally walked back to his room in a huff.

Nice. Not even six in the morning, and I’ve already ticked someone off. This is going to be a great day.

Time drudged past as she remained on the couch, trying to daydream. It was always her go-to at the labs, so she might as well use it here. Daydreaming is like having normal dreams, just without the hassle of trying to sleep. It’s a one-way ticket to blissful unawareness.

“Good morning, Lo!!”

Lotus flinched and groaned as her cold, exhausted form was blinded by the blaring sun of Mikey’s voice. Slowly turning around in an unkempt lump, her eyes fell onto her way too chipper brother bounding into the room like Bambi. His infectious smile fought every muscle in her body to lift her stagnant frown. 

“G’morning, Mikey.” She groused, “Going by the fact that you’re bouncing like a caffeinated rabbit, I’m guessing you most likely slept well.”

Mikey’s smile faltered, and his eyes quickly swelled with something that Lotus couldn’t quite classify.

“...And going by the fact that you’re as sour as Sensei’s tea, I’m guessing you had nightmares… again… I’m sorry.” 

Lotus huffed a mirthless chuckle. It made Mikey’s frown fall deeper.

“Nah, can’t have nightmares if you didn’t-”

Lotus’ tongue tied itself in a knot as she watched the bright ray that was her little brother smother into a dulling flame. There were no tears yet, but there would be soon if she didn’t change the subject now.

“-Uh. I-I mean, I wasn’t sleeping on the floor, so yeah! Sleep was great! Five stars, would totally recommend spending a night on a mattress.” Lotus backpedaled, stammering and stuttering as she attempted to breathe comedic oxygen into the dying flame of Mikey’s smile.

Unfortunately, her kind of comedy didn’t always match her little brother’s.

“Why.. Why would you be sleeping on the floor??” Mikey asked carefully, his pupils growing in size, as his flame continued to shrink into a flickering spark. The compassion in his heart quickly shifted into protective anger. “What the shell did they do to y-”

“-OKAY, I’m gonna go now. It’s fine, I’m fine, I’m here, everything’s fine.” Lotus rapidly spoke, holding up her arms in defeat at her now battle-ready brother. “Just forget it.”

Lotus slinked off the couch, briskly attempting to make her exit from the awkwardness that she caused once again.

Shoulda just kept my mouth shut. Now I broke two brothers in the span of one morning. Fantastic.

Just before she reached the hallway, her conscience ruthlessly beat at her heart. Her swift movements froze as her hands clenched into fists. 

I can’t leave him like that. Just- just try to make him feel better. I have to at least try.

With a sigh, she released the tension digging into her sore muscles, allowing her shoulders to slouch and her fists to slide open. She turned her head around, just catching the disappearing form of her brother walking into the kitchen.

“Mikey?”

Her spotted brother’s head shot up in alert as he turned around to face her.

“Yeah?..” 

Lotus pushed back all the lies lined up to leave her lips, and settled for as bright a smile she could muster.

“I’m alright. I didn’t sleep great, but it’s getting better… I promise I’m okay.”

Mikey’s downcast and concern-filled expression regained some of its warmth by Lotus’ words, as he too mustered a simple but appreciative smile on his face. His small spark grew as it breathed in the air of Lotus’ somewhat good news.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me, Lo. I’m.. I’m glad it’s at least not getting worse.”

“N-no problem.” Lotus shakily spoke, as the foreign words of encouragement and optimism found their way on her tongue. She gave an unconvincing thumbs up with her crooked smile, resulting in Mikey chuckling with a confused look on his face.

“Dude, we need to work on your smile- You look like a teacher returning from summer break.”

EXCUSE ME????

Lotus’ smile quickly sharpened and contorted into a snarl.

“EXCUSE ME????” She bellowed, fully twisting her body around to face her brother, who was now stiff as a board, and slowly edging his way further into the kitchen.

Oh I’m SORRY~ Guess smiles don’t come so naturally to someone who’s been through hell and back. LEAST I’M TRYIN’ HERE!!!

As Lotus’ last frick was given, she launched herself into a sprint headed for her shrieking brother.

IT IS WAY TOO EARLY FOR THIS.

All of Lotus’ limbs ached and begged for rest, but her wounded pride remained at the helm. All throughout the lair she ran after Mikey, leaping and dodging over furniture and even nearly knocking over Raphael. Instead of rebuking her for her temper, Raph simply burst into a fit of laughter, and held his peppermint tea up in a “go, make me proud” motion. 

Not like I needed your permission, but m’kay.

Unfortunately, Mikey’s cleverness won out against Lotus’ brief distraction. Tailing her brother into an unknown sewer tunnel, she screeched to a halt to find he had vanished. 

DANG-FRIGGIN-SON OF A NINJA TURTLE.

Lotus dashed into the shadows looming throughout the tunnel, crouching and waiting for her prey. 

Mikey may be the greatest at hide n seek…

…But he’s the worst at patience.

She positioned herself at the tunnel that led to the kitchen. 

Not even five minutes later, she heard him approaching, humming to himself. The sound of his voice melded with something else… wheels?

She didn’t let the questions stop her. In one quick motion, she leapt out of the shadows, effectively blocking him. 

What she didn’t realize though, was the speed at which Mikey was skateboarding towards her. Before she could shout for him to stop, he collided into her in a screaming explosion of chaos. The air in her lungs shot out of her mouth as Mikey’s elbow slammed into her plastron full-force, leaving her gasping and panting. Her vision flashed white as her head slammed into the concrete. 

Everything went dark.

~ ~ ~

“--otus?!?! LOT-S?!?! -AKE UP!!!!!” 

The world spun as if her head was placed in a washing machine, coiling her stomach with waves of nausea. Her ears rang with pitches that made her wince.

“Ughhhhhh…” 

“LOTUS??? Are you okay!?”

The growing nausea snaking around her tongue forced her to mumble an affirmation rather than speak it. As she tried to move, a hiss squeezed through her clenched teeth by the stinging burns clawing at her knees and elbows.

It.. is way too early… for this.

“Whereee did that train come fromm?” Lotus slurred as she rubbed at the back of her aching skull. A headache had already begun forming, pulsing at the base of her cranium.

“ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU?? What’s with hidin’ in the dark? Are you okay!?” Mikey panicked, gesturing his hands at Lotus’ collapsed body. His shrunk pupils grew in concern as he took note of all the scrapes and bruises scattered over his big sister. Especially the bruise forming at the back of her head. Fortunately for him he remembered to wear his knee and elbow pads, with his gear mostly taking the brunt of the collision.

“MMMmmm f’ne.” Lotus mumbled as she tried to stand, resulting in another strained hiss. 

“EH-EH! NO. BAD. STOP MOVING.” Mikey commanded, kneeling down and gently pushing Lotus back to the ground with his hand on her shoulder. “You’re not speaking right, and you hit your head. Leo’s gonna freak if you just start movin’ around after you got a concussion!”

The thunderous migraine in Lotus’ head was pushed aside by the growing panic creeping from the shadows of her memories. 

~“Hold her still.”~

No.

~“Breathing appears to be normal.”~

No, please no…

~“HOLD HER DOWN!”~

I can’t…

~“This will sting.”~

“I’m gonna try to carry you-” Mikey whispered, squeezing Lotus’ shoulder, and then shifting to reach underneath her. “Leo will want to check you ou-”

“NO!” Lotus choked out in a shattered scream, flailing her arms and legs to deter Mikey from carrying her. The movement only inflamed the sting of her scrapes and bruises, but that didn’t matter. She was not going to do this. Not if she had a choice.

And now she does.

“NO. I’m FINE. Lay off, Mikey.” Lotus growled under her breath, riding out the swirling tides of nausea in the depths of her stomach. “I’m fine. I’ll walk it off.”

Mikey’s expression hardened into a pout of defiance. Concern still filled his soul to the brim, but there was just enough room for exasperation at the very top.

“Ah, no. Not gonna happen. I’ve been in enough wipeouts to know that’s not gonna fly, sister.” Mikey spoke as sternly as he could, shifting his voice so that it left no room for argument.

“I. SAID. NO.” Lotus ground out, barely finishing her sentence because of the creeping nausea making its way up her throat. 

The world was still spinning. Her legs and arms ached, and that pain was only intensified by the scrapes and bruises. The argument with her stubborn little brother wasn’t helping her migraine either.

“DUDE!! He’s just going to check to see if you’re broken- THAT’S IT! Last I checked, he’s not planning some nefarious scheme in the Medbay!” 

He didn’t mean that- he doesn’t.. know what he’s saying.

“Fine.” Mikey huffed, pulling back his arms and pushing himself off the ground. He began turning around. “ I’ll just go and get him, and he can carry your concussed butt to the Medb-”

“N-no..” Lotus whimpered, wrapping her arms around Mikey’s torso from behind him as she knelt on the ground. “Please, Mikey..”

The spite on Mikey’s face vanished as he felt Lotus’ body shake with frightened tremors, uncontrollable sobs escaping her in fragmented shards.

“P-please….I… I can’t..” She brokenly pleaded, nuzzling into Mikey’s carapace. “I just can’t..”

“...Why are you so scared of him?” Mikey whispered, gently gripping onto Lotus’ quivering arms around his waist. 

“I-It’s n-n-not hi-im…” Lotus hiccuped, now releasing her sobs freely despite her pride. “I-I-It’s what he’ll d-d-do.”

Mikey’s brow tightened as his eyes softened. He carefully pulled Lotus’ thin arms off him, followed by kneeling down and twisting into an embrace with his shivering older sister. He stayed silent as Lotus softly wept into his shoulder, speckling his jade green scales with her misty blue tears. When it seemed she had finally settled, he spoke.

“I go in there all the time. It kinda looks scary, and smells weird, but I promise Leo’s the best mutant turtle in the medical business. He’s always careful. And gentle.”

Lotus’ grip around him tightened.

“He’s not goin’ to do anything that will hurt you unless he has to. And if it comes down to that, he usually won’t do it until you’re ready.”

...And what happens when you're never ready?

Mikey pulled Lotus away from him just so she could see his face. His thumb delicately rubbed away her tears. He smiled.

“He’s not like them, Lo.”

More tears brimmed over Lotus’ eyes.

“Leo loves you. You’re not some science project to him.”

The panic and fear in her mind slowly began creeping back into the shadows of her past.

“He takes care of you cause he wants you to be okay.”

Lotus tried to rub the tears off her face, but they kept coming. She tried to forget the ghosts of her past but they kept flashing back. Despite the power the shadows held over her, Mikey’s soothing voice and words restrained them. They were still there, whispering and reminding her of what she’d been through, but their ghostly voices were drowned out by an overwhelming shine of warmth.

She took a breath.

“O-okay. I…I’ll g-g-go.” Her voice still shook in terror, but her words echoed of her bravery, newly blossomed by her little brother.

Mikey’s smile shone the brightest it had that morning, as he nodded. Before Mikey’s arms slid under her again, she whimpered one more plea.

“M-mike- Please move slow…s-so...nauseous…”

Mikey’s eyes widened as he gave an understanding nod, making sure to move carefully as he picked Lotus up. Thanks to his more gentle motions, Lotus’ head only mildly pounded inside her skull as he began walking to the Medbay.

The whispers of her past screamed with all their might, demanding her to run, to be afraid, to cower. But the love of her family far exceeded her past.

She knew she was safe.

She knew she was home.

THE END 

Thanks for reading! :)

~ Melissa

~ TMNTember Prompts List ~

[shrimpler]

I see you’ve finished the silt verses season 2, how are you feeling?

that’s a great question, i have entirely lost my mind

this whole season was incredible, the writing in this show has been continuously blowing me away since the first episode and they went absolutely INSANE with the sound design for this one! i am also entirely okay and fine and cool with the finale.

i really do wish i’d gotten around to listening sooner instead of waiting for months until the show literally ended, because i knew it’d likely be good but i did not expect it to be THIS good ! the writing is fantastic, the sound design is fantastic (was rough sometimes in season 1 but it was the pandemic..), the world building and character writing is fantastic, the voice acting is fantastic, its all been fantastic !! i appreciate how they created a character catered to me specifically (faulkner) so thank you silt verses! i’m so incredibly normal about carpenter and faulkners whole relationship i am absolutely normal about it

i have so much to say but i’m gonna save it for when i’m done with the show so i can form a full opinion..but with the way things are going, i definitely see the silt verses going in my top 5 favorite medias ever list (and carpenter and faulkner are not safe from my favorite characters of all time list. they’ve become increasingly less safe as the shows gone on). i knew it’d be good, i like horror podcasts and all, but i was not expecting it to just entirely exceed any sort of previous expectation i might have had before!! and it just keeps getting BETTER!

i’ve been torturing my poor friends, bless their hearts, with my thoughts on the show so far and i will continue to do so throughout season 3…i’m very excited to see how the last season goes! nothing bad happens ever, i’m putting that out into the universe before i start

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 189 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: mowing the lawn.

MARTIN: "It’s the final battle, right? We climb the tower, take out the bad guy, figure out how to change the world back, and back in time for tea." No Martin, after this episode there are still 11 left! (Martin seems so stressed.)

MARTIN: "Yeah. They did roll out the red carpet, didn’t they? Must be nice getting the star treatment." JON: "I’d hardly call flooding Oxford Street with blood, the 'star treatment'." Sooo, the "red" carpet was literally blood? (Also, reminds me of The Shining). Martin is so snippy in this one. Been a while since he last did that, like to this extent.

MARTIN: [Amused] "Seriously? Stage fright? The great Archivist, master of all he surveys can’t handle a bit of public attention?" And boyfriend of said master of all he surveys also seems pretty scared and on edge. It fits his character that he gets nervous and is irritated easily because of that. Still, shitty way to treat Jon.

JON: "You don’t need to be sarcastic, okay?" MARTIN: "You’re right, I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I’m scared too." I'm happy it got to that though. Jon calling him out and Martin realizing, it's wrong and apologizing.

JON: "Yes. Except one of the contestants is also planning to try and murder the judge." MARTIN: "… Um. [Searchingly] Maybe it hasn’t realised?" It has not, Eye's too dumb for it, you're good to go!

Oh no, Martin's getting worked up again... That was an ugly, ugly fight. If it can even be called a fight, it was mostly just Martin being all angry and yelling around. And I'm kind of disappointed that Martin still reacts so annoyed whenever Jon has to make a statement. It's a physical need of Jon and reacting to physical needs like that is horrible. At least the two of them get some space now and Martin can go cool off somewhere.

"The light takes on a crimson tinge as he passes an office dried with gore, and turns away from a back room where three men in fine suits laugh among themselves as they weave their pile of nooses." That's Tim, right? The laughter we can hear in the background, that's his uncredited cameo and neither Alex nor Jon knew about it at the time.

"He takes his place, marvelling again at how comfortable the seat is, how well it seems to fit," Forget the Lonely, join the Eye! We have comfortable chairs!

I don't quite get this statement, what is it a metaphor for? What is that pit? What it it about that minister, who seems to care about people in a way (or at least recognizes their suffering), but is ashamed of being wealthy while others starve?

MARTIN: [Brightly] "All good?" JON: "Yes. Just, uh… Left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth." MARTIN: "Oh great! Fantastic!" Martin is so bad at this xD Why? He could keep it together during MAG 118 when confronting Elias while Melanie searched the office for evidence. He kept Peter on the hook for several months! And now he's, what, too giddy to try to act normal?

Hmm, when Georgie and Melanie pulled Jon into the tunnels there was the same sound effect we hear when Jon smites someone, even if only for a brief moment.

JON: "Likewise, I… oh… Ooo…" MELANIE: "Oh, I know that sound. He’s going pale, right? Five quid says he’s about to collapse again." JON: [Archly] "I am not going to collapse. What do you mean again?" MELANIE: "Oh come on. You do it all the time." Yeah, Jon's "hobbies", getting kidnapped and collapsing. Sounds fun!

JON: [Brokenly] "I do not – I’m just feeling a little bit woozy alright? I ca-can’t quite think straight. Like at, um… um, Martin, you remember?" GEORGIE: "Is this what you were talking about?" MARTIN: "Yeah, if something messes with his connection, he can get a little… vague." JON: "I don’t like being discussed like I’m not here." I mean... Jon tried to tell what happened to him at Salesa’s and couldn't, then asked Martin what it was like. Georgie asks Martin, if this is what he was talking about (It makes sense to ask Martin, cause it was him they have spoken to earlier. How would Jon know what Georgie means, he certainly can't Know it here.) and Martin explains what Jon just couldn't put into words. I wouldn't have seen this as "discussing me like I'm not here". But I understand, there are people out there, who are really bothered by this. Friends of mine are like that. He tries to tell something, doesn't quite know how to proceed, she chimes in and says just straight out what he wanted to say and he get's all angry for being interrupted and having the story told for him. I don't know, I wouldn't mind that, I'd see it as a "Oh good, I don't have to explain everything, others already get it."

MELANIE: "It’s fine, Georgie. You can use the “c” word." MARTIN: "E-Excuse me?" GEORGIE: "Fine. We’ve got, sort of a… cult." Yeah, same Martin. This being a British show I thought it would be the word with an N instead of the L xD

GEORGIE: "When the world started to change, it just didn’t hit me and Melanie. Not, not really." ... Not really!!!^^

MELANIE: "There was nowhere to go back to, so I told her about the tunnels. Turns out, not only were they still here, they actually do a decent job of hiding things. When you aren’t painting a huge target on our backs." Mrrrrrhhh, until know this could have been excused as the Slaughter's influence, but Melanie still want to pin everything on Jon!

GEORGIE: "How could we not? The entire city knows you were there." MELANIE: [Sarcastically] "Everyone is so excited to see the Ceaseless Watcher’s special little boy." [GIGGLES] Okay, the entire city knows, but how did they learn about it? Do... the things here in London speak with actual words and they overheard them talking? Bit unspectacular... I'd like to think that every single screen in London now live-broadcasts Jon, as long as he is in London on the surface.

Heh, Jon laughing at Martin getting owned by Melanie XD Serves him a bit right after this episode ^^''

@a-mag-a-day

[doberbutts]

Two Weeks

HUNGRY (me: I AM SO HUNGRY WTF I JUST ATE, coworker: that’s the T)

Okay the Stinkifying is better now that I have a handle on how much deodorant to use (about twice as much as I was lmao), Stinky No More now just a very strong Man Smell

Holy Shit That’s Bottom Growth All Right

Voice still bouncing between normal, deeper, hoarse, and raspy. Dunno where that’ll end up yet.

Upper lip hair does seem darker and longer confirmed by friend staring at face.

Muscles??? Biceps definitely thicker, more bulk to my forearms too.

More stamina! Can stand for longer! Heart seems less annoyed with me all the time!

Don’t mind me just thinking horny thoughts in the background at all times

HOT. I am consistently Too Warm which is great bc I hate the cold but it’s less great because I’m sweating profusely at work (me: it’s so hot in here what the hell it’s 50 degrees outside, coworker: that’s the T)

Boobs deflating a bit? Normally during my cycle they become very swollen and hard and then go back to normal but uh. This is sort of starting to look like a sad deflated balloon. Which I’m fine with I was just like “you know normally these are a bit more full and perky than this”

Good poop continues? Fantastic and enlightening that hormone levels can affect IBS

Acne :( so far it’s very minimal but still annoying

Ingrown hairs where my body hair is starting to come in :(

Looked in the mirror yesterday and genuinely smiled. Not sure if it’s just my happiness or if facial changes are starting but I looked in the mirror and for the first time saw me instead of a stranger staring back at me. Pretty great feeling.

[greetings-inferiors]

GUYS HOLY SHIT RUIN IS SO GOOD

Like it’s still security breach but it’s like… what if security breach was an actually good fnaf game???

Anyway spoilers

My only gripes are the endings (not the “bad” ending, that shit’s awesome, but the fredbear and scooper endings are kinda… weird) and the fact that you have to deactivate Roxy (and she just comes back afterwards) sucks. When we played that me and my friend actually got really emotional and I even teared up and we assumed you could save her but when she came back and it was just like “oh Roxy’s back” and when I replayed that scene and you’re forced to deactivate her like damn that kinda takes away from it imagine if it was a choice? It was a phenomenal scene, with the moments of silence as Cassie just quietly sobs after killing her favourite animatronic, but it would’ve been really good if Roxy doesn’t come back AND you had the option to save her (and actually have a good secret ending). anyway moving on.

The fredbear ending is just some random cardboard cutout of fredbear that makes you have a vision of a happy sunset? Someone said that they interpreted it as Cassie trying to convince herself everything’s going to be okay just before she dies but idk I don’t like it it’s too random and abrupt.

The scooper ending is very anticlimactic. Like she’s just fine? Does she tell Gregory the mimic is scooped? Is the mimic even scooped at all? Obviously I thought it was a scooper but only through context clues it doesn’t look like what the scooper looked like at all. It also feels weird that the mimic has so much build up and is instantly killed off? And the way you get it is really weird too. Zooming out to find secret cameras? And those open doors? Idk it feels so video gamey. There aren’t even five??? Only four?????

Anyway apart from those minor gripes the game is fantastic. Phenomenal. The normal ending is so goddamn good. Gregory wanting to talk to his friend one last time before having to let her die as he cannot risk the mimic getting out. And dropping her from a lift as he wants her to have an instant death instead of whatever the mimic could do to her. You could just feel the regret in his voice. Honestly I thought Gregory was a kinda meh character in security breach but he’s really good in ruin. I like how before the mimic reveal his way of talking is slightly off, like he’ll say one word in a different tone to the rest of the sentence or whatever. And I already mentioned the incredible performance at the end.

Also can we talk about Cassie??? Just like everything else in this game she is what security breach tried to do but done right. She has so much personality and when you put on the Vanny mask (which is a sick mechanic btw) you see tidbits from her life or how she sees herself, and when she’s talking to herself she has so much personality, like going “I’m okay, I’m okay” when she falls down, how she keeps mentioning how unlucky she gets with vents (which is such a funny reoccurring gag), how she gets so frustrated when Gregory always cuts off just as she was about to talk to him. Idk I love her so much and she felt wayyyy better than Gregory in security breach.

Anyway yeah this game is what security breach should have been. Part of me thinks security breach is justified because it let us have this gem, but then again if security breach was good we probably still would have got it LMAO

Anyway go play ruin it’s great

[writingmochi]

ｌｏａｄｉｎｇ ｉｎｔｅｒｆａｃｅ．．．

you have reached year 1

lissie: hello from space and time! if you don't know who i am, i am the owner (aka flight director) and writer of the blog and this post is in celebration of the one-year anniversary of me creating stories and posting them here. i don't think i can't express the gratitude i have for everyone who has read my works, silently or with feedback, and all the people i have interacted with here. so this is a recap for me and maybe for new visitors that come to know what has happened on this blog.

p.s. yes, the anniversary of this blog is enhypen's jake's birthday because my first work was released for his birthday.

let's get to it!

all research done (read: works written and released)

a story of two broken hearts | enhypen's jake (9.5k [novellete])

time wave | txt's yeonjun (8 chapters; 72.8k [novel])

smirch episode 1: heeseung | enhypen's heeseung (25.7k [novella])

crossroads | enhypen's jay (39.3k [novella])

ashen | txt's beomgyu (18.7k [novella])

total: 12 works (8 chaptered series, 4 oneshots) and 166k words written

all the navigators connected (read: mutuals)

@kookthief

how are you doing, ellie? hope you have a very nice day whenever and wherever you read this message!

@orpheyeux (via @ujunxverse)

camille! it’s sad to see you go and enhablr losing a great writer but it has been an enjoyable time to discuss with you about your stories (though i haven’t read all of them :( ). hope you enjoy life cause it seems that you are and i hope you’ll succeed with all your endeavors, especially with your zine and college !!

@euphor1a

hi aleyna! how are you doing these days? hope you’ll have a fantastic day/night and you can reach out to me whenever you want 💕

@heartandfangs

P! idk if you’re online or not but if you do, how are you?? hope you’re doing a-okay :D though i miss your writing but pls take your time!

@jeongwins

lin i swear i still reread you review for crossroads asdfghjkl sad to know that life is hectic for you but i’m giving you my energy! i’ve also seen that’s you posted your wip and i’m sure i’m gonna read it! take your time and hope you have a great day!

@s-ngh8n (via @s-ngh8n-main)

lemon! losing passion is normal and i really don’t mind if you decide to stop altogether. hope you have a fine day seeing as you’re opening new chapters in life <3

@boba-beom

hey smiles! don’t worry uni is also as hectic for me (a month before finals asdfghjk). with that said, take your time and have a nice day :D

@dim-sun

hi zu!! so excited to see a new writer coming (no pressure though) + i’m also sad about treasure :( take your time and enjoy the process, i swear you won’t regret it! have a great day!

director's journal entries (read: all the rants i have thought out the past year. some are genuine, some are sarcastic):

is it normal to have such a parasocial relationship with a mutual because you're excited to talk to them but they don't seem to care for you? just me? okay

yall are very dirty istg! i even block some of yall who literally thirst for them irl cuz i felt so uncomfy. i'm currently hiding behind the fictional story blanket

bruh it would be so embarrassing to know that your idols lurk here (esp related to the previous entry)

as much as i love my followers, pls interact with me... i felt like i'm talking to a void if i post anything other than a fic

the discourse istg yall are petty

ignore them. don't be a boot licker. they'll ignore you anyways

as much as i love tropes, can we get more stories that innovate on those tropes??

the difference in the number of notes between a smut fic and non-smut fic asdfghjkl all of yall's hormones are shaking

hey! i'm happy to see that the ratio between written fic and smau are decreasing from time to time (love smau but as someone who doesn't use the main social medias other than youtube, i'm out of touch)

a gray asexual's note to a great smut fic at tumblr dot com: 1.smut fic whose smut isn't the main part of the fic (give me substance, give me a story, give me LORE!) 2.let it be realistic, let the reader be tired after being obliterated all night (they're hurting outside and inside genuinely) 3.we can see how horny you are for the idol based on how you write your fic. you can chill down and let the story flow~

i'm freaking jealous w/ writers who have high interaction. i wanna have one myself but for it to be genuine so i don't have to be a pretentious ass/attention seeker

as much as i understand the amount of writers who hates empty blogs (aka w/o pfp or name), if they interact w/ your fics then there is a human behind it (unless it's a p*rn bot than f u)… hmm but maybe it’s just be me thinking positively…

notable moments from the past year

blogs open!

joining @indigoseasons as a writer

reaching 100!

first series ever (time wave) complete!

what’s next?

lissie: well, of course i’m going to write the ones in my wips post and even though i have some that has been pulled out from the list, it doesn’t mean that i will not write them. it will move to the back of my wips instead.

i also have a plan to create a kpop ff recommendation and writer’s club blog. the climate of kpop ff writing and reading in general has been too serious (imo) so i want to create that blog with the emphasis of the fun of writing a story and reading a story. so, stay tune to that!

lissie: with all of that said, i cannot thank all of you enough for the support, the kind words, the criticism. cheers!

[ofgentleresolve]

@jeoseungsaja​​ sent in:

So this is...awkward.  Well, not exactly awkward but more so a situation that causes disquiet within Hyuk. This isn't how things were initially planned; Hyuk's prior outburst at the reception had demonstrated that, yet Patrick's presence showed up just in time to save the poor administrator from more fire brewing in the detective's mouth. Whether it was a mistake from Hyuk's faulty computer skills or an error from the hotel's system, there was no turning back. They were here now --- sharing the same room...and the same bed. Sure, sure, Patrick did say that he's fine with this option, that he doesn't mind, yet Hyuk can't help but feel a bit guilty about it. He wanted this little getaway to be as blissful as possible, not to...create bashful tension that somehow can be sensed in the air.

They've shared spaces before, of course they have, but not like this. Not while knowing there's something more swimming in seas that have acquired the languid color of realization; an...awakening of feelings that once rested dormant.

He takes a deep breath, the night cloaking skies. He's by himself right now; Patrick making sure his children are doing okay in the other room they'll be sharing. He sits on a corner of the bed, wondering what to do as pajama pants and a shirt wrap his body. Should he take off the shirt? It's how he's used to sleep; the garment feeling heavy on flesh when being under sheets, somehow -- a tight habit by now.

The detective bites his bottom lip; hair now moderately dry after his usual shower. Maybe...he could take the shirt off, dig himself under the covers and call it a night? Yeah, that could work, couldn't it? (Why is he suddenly shy about it? As if Patrick hadn't seen him like this before--)

One...two...

Rapidly, he starts taking his shirt off, but it seems he has awful timing, for by the time he has the garment over his head, he hears the door unlock and open, causing Hyuk to jump and slide off the mattress, falling on his bum on the floor.

"Aish--!" Only Patrick can unlock this absolutely graceless part of him, getting tangled in his shirt for a moment before he frustratingly tosses it to his side, hair a bit of a mess due to that. "I'm fine, I--did...uh...how did they...like their room?" He sits up, trying to sort of pretend nothing happened; clearing his throat as warmth escalates to his neck. "Also do you...want a side of the bed in particular, I can take any spot--"

(HELLO, DEAR FERRE! I AM HERE TO SEND UNPROMPTED ASKS WIEDHWIEUDH, PLS TAKE THIS CLUMSY HYUK, BUT ALSO, FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS IF YOU WISH ;W; HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A FANTASTIC DAY!!) || click for patrick’s interior atm ( unprompted. )

It does not occur to Patrick that this setup ( that he proposed ) will, in fact, have consequences.

Not that he thinks they would be necessarily bad consequences when he looks back on it, but in the moment he will probably think so, even if this should simply feel like a throwback to the old times. Back to his and Hyuk’s uni days, where it was normal for them to share a room. Well-intentioned, but nevertheless bad roommates will do that; make any university student desperate enough to pick a couch with questionable stains over a familiar bed if it means getting a few hours of peace and quiet- Patrick learned quickly to claim a single for the years following.

But even in the following years, sharing a room ( intentional or not ) with Hyuk, he never considered strange. Even if Hyuk did take his shirt off before going to sleep. Patrick’s known about that habit for years and how it correlates with Hyuk's dislike for waking up sweaty.

( Patrick would point out though that the temperature of the body actually decreases when unconscious, so in the winters, isn’t necessarily a great idea to sleep shirtless. What if Hyuk catches a cold? )

And still, somehow very inconveniently, Patrick did not take that fact into consideration. Not that his decision would have been any different in any other timeline. So there’s been a mix-up with the hotel booking- that certainly isn’t going to stop Patrick from enjoying his time with his dear friend, however much it is limited to these two weeks. This setup shouldn’t feel any DIFFERENT.

Until it is. It’s been like this for a while, hasn’t it? Everything being both familiar and new, two parallel lines suddenly intersecting until you can’t tell where one line starts and the other ends-

He’s not thinking too hard about what awaits in their shared room when he opens the door. Everything is going as well as it should- at the very least, both Elise and Hiro seem settled into their shared hotel room down the hall and last time he checked, they were invested in a drama, which Hiro insisted turning the subtitles off for, something about wanting to improve his Korean. He was also the one to shoo Patrick back to his own room:

“Go back to your room- we know you’d rather be with Mister Lee than us.”

Patrick scratches his cheek bashfully, his other hand resting on the doorknob. It’s not that obvious, him and Hyuk, is it? No, Patrick, that’s not a question to wrestle with right now.

Taking a deep breath, he turns the doorknob and tells himself to relax. It’s just Hyuk in the room. Just the two of them alone in a room just like how it had been many times in the past; it’s not like this time is going to be any different from the other times.

That is what he is assuming until he actually opens the door only to find his dear friend tangled in his shirt and then soon after slipping off the corner of the mattress onto the floor. It’s almost as if Hyuk was considering not sleeping shirtless this time around.

“Are you okay?” Patrick is immediate in helping his dear friend off the floor. He frowns, leaning in and reaching a hand up to help clear the hair from Hyuk’s face. His fingers get tangled in the soft, soft strands there as the pads of his fingertips brush against first Hyuk’s forehead and then his scalp. “That sounded painful- maybe we should go to the doctor to get that checked out…”

And then it happens; the moment when the consequences of this…arrangement sink in. With the shirt thrown to the side, Hyuk is very much…shirtless, revealing a toned chest that Patrick happens to be in very close proximity to, just like the last time he caught Hyuk shirtless. This is to be expected though, right? Detectives have to be in shape, ready to burst into action at any given moment on the field so of course Hyuk would be in shape, it comes with the job.

Patrick swallows, hand tucking the loose strands behind his dear friend’s ear before it brushes over his neck and onto his shoulder, where Patrick’s thumb grazes over Hyuk’s clavicle. Patrick’s eyes can help but wander too, from his dear friend’s chest to his abs. In a daze, Patrick traces them with his eyes ( although make no mistake his free hand twitches in an urge to follow his gaze ). And he realizes Hyuk’s abs are half hidden by a loose set of trousers and for a long moment there, Patrick wonders what the whole set looks like and-

The blood rushes to his face.

No. No. That’s not a thought he should be having about his best friend. And something more.

“They’ve a-acclimated, I think.” He stammers, words tumbling out as he hastily pulls his hands back, cradling his fingers before they do anything traitorous. “I-Is the room okay with you? I-I hope it won’t be too stuffy for you since it’s not exactly what you booked initially-“ Wait a minute did Hyuk just ask what side of the bed he wants? That would imply they would be sharing a bed, which means that Patrick will be sleeping next to…that for two weeks straight.

Plus, they’re at Jeju Island, which means swimming will be happening. A lot.

( It is at this very moment when the gravity of his choices completely and utterly sinks in and there is no way around it- how did he forget that Hyuk likes to sleep with his shirt off again? )

He swallows again, averting his gaze and squeezing his eyes shut as if that would be able to shroud and sheer embarrassment prickling over his back. No, that wouldn’t be effective, not with Hyuk of all people. Hyuk, who knows him better than anyone else, perhaps even himself.

“Y-You can choose. I don’t mind.” His heart picks up a notch. There’s no way Hyuk wouldn’t have noticed his face going completely warm. “ I’ll take whichever spot is left- I s-should ready for bed since we’re doing a lot tomorrow, bebackinamoment-“

Patrick makes a rather ungraceful escape into the bathroom and closes the door behind him before covering his mouth, cheeks ablaze.

Dear god.

His head keeps on spinning. His head keeps running in a million different directions. None of which will be useful to his...crisis.

How is he going to last this time?

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm sorry but The Sign just WINS

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 5 of 10 - Fun fun fun. I feel sorry for Yai dealing with these two doomed lovers fated mate drama queens. He got a queen of his own to look after, cut the poor boy some slack.

Meanwhile, if evil... why so shirtless?

Hold on peeps, gotta rip my shirt off in a v stripper way, might get blood on it. Not that I’m complaining. Also, a strap? Man after my own heart. 

Awe. Baby boy has magic sparkle punch!! Yay! 

Meanwhile Phaya is my current fav himbo. These two are beyond pretty together. I love the stark contrast in their fantasies about each other. Phaya's is a way more romantic. Normally I don’t like a white towel sponge bath, but that was the most effective one ever deployed by any BL plot since Love Sick. Well done writer's room. This show is FANTASTIC.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I say this every week but I truly love this show. Another pair of great communicators, I love that BL is giving us this right now (rather than the usual run of plot driven by willful miscommunication). I’m sad D was mean to M but I see where they’re coming from (for the purpose of story & plot). And the boys did a great job. Jimmy’s so lovely in this role.

But seriously people: Where did those old shoes come from in the middle of a marathon?

Random park shoes! 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - One of the most endearing things about these two is what good communicators they are. The sides are kinda cute: puppy+cat hyung romance. Love that for them (and me).

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 8 of 10 - Sprite & First are so crush confession confused first-time tentative adorable. First got himself such a sweet troubled little puppy. What’s gonna happen when he finds out the big lie? 

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 6 of 14 - Jeff and Alan are best boys, i see a glimmer of hope for Way. Omegaverse mpreg possibility confirmed. Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 4 of 12 - I finally figured out that it’s the alternating voiceovers that bother me with this show. It gives it a Japanese manga feel, but I’m not wild about that in my Thai BL. Doc being jelly was fun, tho. Tiny confessions and secret smiles do make me happy. It’s sweet. I’m liking it better this week. 

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - The conflict seems very manufactured. Okay, yes that's normal in BL, but you know what I mean... more than normal. Honestly? I’m on Guy’s side. Screw Shin, and not in a good way. 

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 7 of 8 - I really don’t like it that Jade has to be cruel to Mai. And Mai cruel back. ButJade is sweet when he’s a calm and smiley and shy. Boyfriend ep next week  

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 18 of 24 - I just found this one extremely boring, I didn’t really enjoy any of the characters. And I think it might be incest? Ugh. 4/10

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 2 of 6 - It’s a pain to track down and I really didn’t like the first episode so… DNF  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - It’s slow and sweet and fine but not great. Lovely little kitchen back hug. Not sure about the boy from the past. The mom character gave me serious PTSD. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - No ep this week for JBL reasons. 

It's Airing But...

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. I DNFed this at ep 5, and frnakly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'll be doing that when I have a spare day. Crazy work load right now so no idea when that will be. (End of year is a bear for me.)

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) - This is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

IT'S NO LONGER AIRING INTERNATIONAL

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like.

Next Week Looks Like This

I Became the Main Pole of a BL (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 3 - AKA BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen starts tomorrow.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I think this EVERY SINGLE TIME someone blows on a wound in an Asian drama.

Only Billy has the guts to give us an O face from a cuddle. (The Sign)

I do love it when a show calls out a trope. (Cooking Crush)

 A/b/o and sometimes e! The scene that broke tumblr. (Pit Babe)

(Last week)

[mercy-burning]

Trouble

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader decides to cause a little trouble on vacation.

Category: SMUT (18+)

Warnings: Language, sex (dom!Spencer, hair pulling, spanking, female masturbation, rough sex, light choking, oral sex- male receiving, crying during sex, degradation, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, cum play / if I missed anything, please let me know!)

Word Count: 6.6k

Full Requests: 

+ “...this is for dom spencer/post prison spencer!! okay so you guys are all out with the team on like a team vacation type thing! you decide to wear the cutest and smallest black bikini and tease spencer the whole day. and i mean tease him!! after you guys all separate off for the night he punishes you! spanks you and fucks you until you’re a whimpering mess! maybe you even fall into sub space and his aftercare is 10/10 amazing!!” — @slutforthegubes​ 

 + “A one-shot for reader being bratty for being clingy in front of the team, so then he punishes her by spanking, edging ect?” — @smexyreid​ 

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: I actually had a fluff planned for today, but I’ve been feeling rather ~spicy~ lately, so I hope this is alright 😉😂

***

Normally you didn't like to get into trouble on vacations. And really, who did? Vacations were meant to be relaxing, a way to kick back, relax, and take a break from the monotony of day-to-day life. Not to mention you and the team were far over-due for one of those breaks.

So naturally, your instincts would tell you to do just that: relax. Right?

Wrong.

You couldn't help it. As of late, your sex life was getting... interesting, to say the least. And now more than ever you were always in the mood for trouble; Whether it meant purposely bending over in the office (right in front of your boyfriend, where everyone else was in the room and he couldn't do anything about it) or touching yourself without permission, also sometimes right in front of him.

Bottom line: right now you were looking for trouble. And you knew exactly where to find it.

Trouble, in this case, took the form of a skimpy black bikini you'd spotted while shopping for the trip. it was barely a bathing suit at all, held together by thin strings that you knew would fall apart with just a mere little tug. And if that wasn't enough to entice you, it had little lace detailing that you knew would drive him insane.

Your body practically burned with desire as it sat in a bag in the backseat of your rental car, Spencer's hand on your thigh burning equally as hot.

"You feel really warm," he noted, giving your leg a comforting squeeze. "Are you okay? If you're not feeling well we can stay behind..."

"No, I'm fine," you answered truthfully with a smile. "I'm just really excited to take some time off. Lord knows we need it."

"Yeah, I know... I just wish we weren't going somewhere so... water-y..."

You laughed, placing your hand on top of his and giving it the same reassuring squeeze he'd given you. "It'll be fun. Trust me, you'll have a great time."

He didn't sound so sure about that, but he didn't know the plan you had cooked up. He was going to have fun on this trip whether he thought so or not.

***

The resort was beautiful. Hell, beautiful was nowhere near the right word for it. It was everything you'd always dreamed about, just like those fancy commercials that showed people in big pools, surrounded by palm trees and workers with white polo shirts who brought you whatever you wanted.

And the hotel rooms you stayed in? They were immaculate. It may have seemed like you were exaggerating, but honestly, you felt like a princess. The bed was just about the most comfortable thing you'd ever had the pleasure of laying on, the view was incredible, sweeping over the resort with a beautiful sunrise every morning, and the complimentary robes and towels were heavenly.

You never wanted to leave.

"Remind me to give Rossi a big hug the next time I see him," you sighed as you rolled over in bed and snuggled into Spencer's side.

He laughed softly into your hair and pulled you closer. "I know it's only been a day, but I could stay here forever. In this bed, with you..."

You smiled, feeling your heart warm at his words. "Me, too... But if you think you're gonna get out of today by being charming, then you're sorely mistaken."

Yesterday, the day you all arrived, you made a plan with Spencer: that first day would be spent settling in and having dinner with the team, going out for drinks and relaxing. And then the next day (today), you were all going to spend the day outside, enjoying the sun and enjoying each others' company. He wasn't too fond of the idea spending all day outside in the heat, but you were sure that by the end of the night he would have found it very rewarding.

Because today was the day you were initiating your plan. Since you would be in public (and you knew your boyfriend wasn't a fan of being too publicly affectionate), you were going to tease him as much as you could. You knew it would kill him, not being able to touch you in front of everyone, and you also knew it would make him mad. Most likely, he would warn you to drop it, and you would feign innocence, continuing on your merry way and proceed with the plan. And if you knew him as well as you thought, chances are he would tolerate you all day, barely putting up with your antics until you were alone for the night.

And then? Then you were hoping he would punish the hell out of you. Because honestly, nothing got your blood pumping faster than when he called you names... When he spanked you, or choked you, or refused to let you come. Or even when he did the opposite and made you orgasm so many times you cried from the overstimulation.

But you knew that whatever punishment he decided this time, it was going to be absolutely delicious.

Just the thought of it made you clench your thighs together, and Spencer seemed to notice; He brought one of his hands down to rest between them, feeling the dampness that was forming through the fabric of your underwear.

"Someone's excited this morning," he mused, pressing a kiss to your forehead as his middle finger pushed the fabric aside and gently glided through your pussy.

You sucked in a breath, nuzzling into his neck and failing to hide a smile. "Well, since we're gonna be out and about all day, don't you think we should do something about that?"

Spencer laughed again, this time slipping his finger all the way inside you, causing you to gasp out.

"That sounds like a fantastic idea, princess."

***

To say you were anxious would have been an understatement.

Because of the material of your cover-up dress, no one could see what you had on underneath unless you took it off. In reality it was more like a summer dress, landing just above the knee in a pretty black floral pattern. Your hair was up in a clip for easy taking-down, and cheap dollar-store sunglasses sat firmly on the bridge of your nose.

And just the knowledge of what was hiding beneath your seemingly innocent get-up had your stomach twisted in knots. Even as Spencer swung your hand in his as the two of you made your way to the lounge area, you pictured that same hand fisting the sheets as his wrapped around your throat while he fucked you absolutely senseless.

You hadn't even realized you were squeezing his hand so tight until he wiggled his fingers and gently nudged you with his shoulder. "You've been... squirmy and tense lately, are you sure you're alright?"

Your hand loosened its grip on his, and then you brought them up to kiss the back of his hand. "I'm fine, just excited to be in the sun all day, that's all."

There was some degree of truth to your words, but he didn't have to know that.

So, to convince him you really were fine, you practically jumped once you reached the gateway to the pool and lounge area, spotting all your friends as they waved you over. Spencer laughed as you parted from him and started walking a little faster.

"Someone's eager," Rossi mused from his chair, a glass of lemonade in his hand.

As Spencer approached behind you, Luke snickered. "Not eager enough, apparently. They're late. What were you lovebirds up to, eh?"

"Alvez, if you have to ask, you probably couldn't handle the answer," Tara said with a snicker of her own.

Funny thing was, she was absolutely right. And it made your stomach twist into even bigger knots just thinking about what happened just an hour before you left the room.

Thankfully the mood was kind enough to shift, courtesy of JJ removing her sheer cover-up and taking her sunglasses off with them. "Anyone up for a light morning swim before more people show up?"

You weren't sure whether or not it was a good idea... Did you want to start your teasing so early on that by the end of the day it was going to be an even bigger struggle to keep your hands off of Spencer, silently begging him to whisk you away and have his way with you? But what if he held out and decided to cut the day off early? If that was the case, he'd most likely drag out your punishment for hours, and is that something you wanted?

Your mind swam in a current of filthy images and possible scenarios, all of which were too damn good to pass up.

So, you counted yourself in and handed Spencer your bag, to which he gladly took and then planted a kiss on your forehead.

You waited until he was settled down, sitting at the table with Rossi—who also decided to hang back—to start removing your accessories.

The first to go was the sunglasses, easy and still unsuspicious. You were going to remove the hairclip first, but then an idea came to mind, so you easily slid out of the cover-up and let it fall to the ground.

Spencer's jaw dropped open at about the same speed, though he quickly closed it to seemingly remain unbothered. The smallest of smirks played across your lips as you bent down to pick the garment up. And you took your sweet time, purposely struggling to get it between your fingers. At one point, you had it halfway up before you 'accidentally' dropped it again, mumbling a curse under your breath.

But eventually you gave up the charade, successfully grabbing the dress and holding it out to Spencer. "Would you put this in my bag for me, babe?"

"Uh huh," he muttered, his hands practically shaking when he took it from you.

To add sugar to the pot, you took a step towards him and kissed him chastely on the mouth, just before taking the clip from your hair and shaking it out like in the movies. Truthfully you weren't sure if it was as sexy as they always made it seem, but judging by your boyfriend's inability to look at you, you figured it did the trick.

You turned and made your way to the pool then, leaving him behind with a little extra spring in your step.

***

Your swim extended until lunch time at around noon, where everyone gathered at their table. There were about thirty of these tables all around the pool, each attaching a tall umbrella to keep from the sun.

Though Spencer had seemed rattled and more shocked than anything at your outfit reveal before, now he just seemed calm. Oddly calm.

As you opened a beer, you looked over at him. "You okay, baby?"

"Yep. I'm all good."

He clearly wasn't. His hand twitched under the table, and it made your stomach flutter with butterflies as you wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about fucking you out here in front of everyone? Was he imagining and concocting ways to make sure you knew how much of an affect you had on him later? The thought of all of it excited you to the point of squirminess again.

It was safe to say that Spencer noticed. His hand reached out and brushed your knee about ten minutes into lunch, and it sent a jolt of electricity through you. He was never this way in public, but now he was full-on gripping your knee under the table and slowly sliding it up and up and up...

"Excuse me? Do you guys have an extra chair we could use by chance?" A voice sounded from the other side of you, and you jumped as Spencer quickly removed his hand from you.

But then you got another idea.

"Oh, here, you can use mine," you told the voice, which belonged to a middle-aged woman in a blue one-piece and a sun hat.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be any trouble..."

You stood up and smiled at her, handing over your chair as you insisted. "It's not a problem. Really."

"Thank you," she returned with a smile. "Have a great day."

"You, too!" you called as she walked off with the chair. You turned to Spencer with a smile. "You don't mind if I sit on your lap, right?"

He didn't answer, only shifted in the chair, and that gave you all the permission you needed. So you promptly sat down between his legs, and you snuggled as close to him as you could, making sure to wiggle a little more than needed without being too obvious as your friends continued chatting. Spencer's left hand gripped your hip so tightly you thought he was going to leave bruises.

That excited you more than it probably should have.

So to test your luck, you placed your hand over the top of his and drew little patterns into the back of his hand. Your other hand worked at occasionally grabbing fries to eat.

What you didn't expect was for Spencer to ask for one. Really, you didn't think much of it, though those butterflies returned in your lower belly when he ate the fry right out of your hand, bringing his face to rest right above your shoulder. Before he pulled away, he whispered just inconspicuously enough to avoid raising any red flags.

"Watch yourself, princess..."

He hissed out the nickname so harshly it made you shudder, and your thighs clenched under the table as he leaned back again.

Just in time for someone to talk.

"Why, you two are awfully clingy today." It was Penelope, giggling through a bright pink bendy straw.

You decided to play off of that, smiling and leaning back to press yourself fully against him. "This is our first vacation together, I guess I'm just excited," you said sweetly.

Spencer lightly kissed your cheek, but his hand squeezed your bare hip again. A warning not to push it.

"You know, Will and I haven't had a vacation in a while. It's kind of a bummer he had to work, otherwise we could've taken the kids." JJ pouted playfully before taking a fry.

"We'll definitely have to plan for another one of these in the future," Penelope offered happily.

You wiggled your hips just the tiniest bit as your head dropped onto Spencer's shoulder. "I agree."

His fingers were gripping your hip with brutal force now, and to cover a yelp, you faked a cough. He eased his grip, settling on splaying his entire hand flat across it instead. Its warmth mixed with the knowledge of how big it was made you all warm inside. And, God, if you didn't want to fake being sick so you could drag him up to the hotel room right then...

But you held on, ready for phase two of your plan.

While swimming before, You decided with Luke, Penelope, Tara, Matt, and Emily that a game of water-volleyball was in your future. JJ offered to call points while the rest of you, in teams, played against each other. Despite their efforts to get Rossi and Spencer to join, they both declined, but in a way you were thankful.

Being in action might just be the thing you needed to finally push him over the edge.

So soon after lunch, you all moved over to the open water-volleyball pool. JJ, Spencer, and Rossi all sat at the edge on lounge chairs to watch while you divided into two teams, Penelope, Luke, and Emily on one side, you, Tara, and Matt on the other.

Truth be told, during the game you almost completely forgot about the other little game that you were playing with Spencer—the one only you two knew about. You were quite content and happy having fun with your friends for so long that it was a distant memory.

But at one point, Matt lifted you out of the water to hit the ball, his hands firmly gripping your waist to help you do it. And you didn't think anything of it until you realized your second, and probably your most fatal, mistake.

You'd successfully spiked the ball and scored the winning point, to which your team loudly cheered. And when Matt brought you back down into the water, you flung your arms around his neck in a hug. He lifted you out of the water again as he hugged you, and over his shoulder, you spotted Spencer.

He was furious.

No one would have been able to tell, of course, but you knew. You'd seen that look before, when you were teasing him badly enough that it warranted a pretty severe punishment.

You may have won the volleyball game, but in the process you inadvertently won another game, one that excited you far more and presented you with the grand prize of one very long night.

***

Spencer was quiet with you the rest of the day. After the game, you all decided to just lay out in the sun for a few hours. Occasionally, you would sneak a glance at your boyfriend to find him in that oddly calm state again, the one that borderline scared and excited you at the same time, and for a moment you wondered if maybe you'd gone too far, even if you hadn't intentionally meant to make him jealous.

But if something was truly wrong, he would have told you. You both knew the lines between playful and serious, and this odd calm that Spencer was exuding was most definitely playful.

He only further proved that to be true when you got up to the bar to get a margarita, and you felt a presence behind you.

His hands splayed over your hips and slid forward to your stomach, pulling you back to him. The hardness you felt pressing into the thin material of your bikini made you tremble.

"I want you to finish your drink, and then I want you to meet me in our room. Take your time, princess. I'll be waiting."

Before you could even answer, he was gone, his hand lingering on your body for a moment before he let himself fully walk away. And as you slowly sipped on your drink, chatting a bit with Penelope when she came over, your skin still burned hot from his touch.

***

You took a deep breath before stepping ino the room. Your hands were shaking with excitement and your stomach churned at the sight of him.

He was perched on the bed, freshly showered, wearing nothing but a towel hung low on his hips while he read a book. His hair was wet, towel dried and hanging in soft curls in front of his eyes.

Spencer always took your breath away, but this?

You were in deep shit.

He didn't even look up from his book. He continued flipping the page and gently nodded towards the bathroom door. "Go get a shower ready. I'll be in in a minute."

Your first instinct was to obey. But then again, trouble was what you wanted in the first place, so trouble was what you were going to deliver.

"Why?"

"Because you're covered in chlorine from the pool, and you have to shower." He still didn't look up at you. And that just wouldn't do.

"I'm sure you're right, babe, but I just don't feel like it. And you can't make me."

His eyes flitted up to meet you, just for a brief second before he sighed and shut the book. "Y/N..."

"Spencer..."

"You've been a tease all day, do you really want to make it harder for yourself?" This time he was looking up at you fully, meeting you with a bored expression that was just so fucking hot. You couldn't resist.

"I don't know," you teased, crossing your arms. "Do I?"

"Trust me, princess, you don't..."

You giggled at the nickname and started walking towards him, kicking off your flip flops and uncrossing your arms in the process. "Hmm... I think I do."

"Take another step, see what happens," he offered plainly.

Just for the hell of it, you stopped and then took one giant step forward, bringing you to the edge of the bed where he was sitting. You smiled down at him and felt your insides heat up as he brought his hand out, roughly pulling at the thin fabric of your bikini. He pulled you right on top of him, just for you to be rolled over and pinned on your stomach.

His hands pinned your hands behind your back as he pushed his body into yours, making you whimper out excitedly.

"So be it. Don't make a sound unless I tell you to. Understand?" The sternness in his voice sent another chill through you as you nodded. But then one of his hands came up and tugged on your hair, pulling your neck back. "Answer me."

"I understand," you said, though not without making it sound like you were bored.

That only seemed to make him more mad, which of course was a win for you. He tugged your hair harder, causing you to yelp out with a masochistic laugh.

"Something funny?" he inquired evenly.

"You're cute when you're mad," you offered with a shit-eating grin, wiggling your ass against him.

This time, instead of pulling your head back, he shoved it down into the mattress, his hand shifting to hook his middle finger around your cheek and into your mouth. "You're cute when you shut up and obey me... But I have a feeling you're not going to be very good for me tonight, are you princess?"

You only hummed around his finger in response, clenching your pussy around nothing as your body suddenly went wild with a wave of pleasure at his words.

"That's what I thought... Let's see how well you take your spankings, maybe then I'll go easy on you later."

He wasted no time then, yanking your swim bottoms down and running his hand over the curve of your ass.

"Let's see... One—" SMACK. "—for making a show of wearing this slutty little bikini."

To keep it interesting, you wiggled your ass for more, and he returned the favor by spanking you even harder than the last time. "Two, for giving away your chair just to sit in my lap." Very quickly after, he administered another one, following with, "Three, for teasing me at lunch in front of our friends."

"But I d—"

SMACK. "Four, for interrupting me," he said quietly. And with the way his hand was rubbing over your stinging skin, he was no doubt admiring his work so far. He even hummed, lifting his hand occasionally, leading you to think he was going to spank you again— Only for him to settle on rubbing over your ass again.

He was drawing this out. Taking his time. Seeing how antsy you would get.

Needless to say, it was working.

Your hands, which were still pinned behind your back by Spencer's other hand, started to flex, and you whimpered out in want.

"What's the matter, princess?" he cooed.

"I... I want you," is all you could think to say. Because you really did.

"Bad girls don't get what they want. Especially brats. So tell me, do you think I'm going to give you what you want?"

You were supposed to answer him, but in the name of trouble, you remained silent.

He waited for an answer that never came. And when he was tired of waiting, realizing what you were doing, Spencer spanked you again. "Five, for not answering me."

Before you could do or say anything, he landed another slap to your ass. "And six, for having Matt's hands all over you."

You couldn't help it. You laughed. "Oh, that got to you, huh? His hands were nice and big. Reminded me of y—ah!"

He spanked you again, hard. Tears stung behind your eyes and you smiled through them.

"Seven," he growled. "For being a fucking brat."

You took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "Aw, are you jealous? You really think I would—fuck!"

Another spank. "Eight. Don't you dare get it to ten." It was obvious that he was challenging you. Either that, or you were just looking for trouble so badly that you were willing to hear his words as a challenge. But regardless, you challenged him back with one simple, breathy word.

"Nine."

SMACK. "Nine. You must really be looking for trouble, huh?"

You laughed, wiggling your ass one more time. "You don't even know the half of it."

Spencer spanked you one last time, harder than all the rest of them, and you actually yelped out, squeezing your eyes shut.

"Ten. Now get in the shower, or I'll make it double."

You thought about it, but a shower actually sounded really good, and it would give you a chance to breathe before he utterly wrecked you in a little while.

"Okay," you offered, slumping against the bed loosely to show him your surrender. He gently let go of you then, rubbing over your ass a few times before pulling away from you and helping you stand.

"You want me to put something on that now or later?" he asked gently, brushing the hair from your face.

"Later," you returned with a wink and a smile.

He huffed a laugh before gently smacking your ass one more time and sending you off in the shower.

***

As excited as you were for the rest of the evening, you were tempted to take as long in the shower as you wanted, just to see what Spencer would do. But you decided to just take a shower normally, rinsing out your hair just as you always did. You quickly washed up your body, wincing a bit at the sting of your ass under the soap and warm water.

And then you started thinking about how exhilarated you felt as he punished you. Each sharp, warm smack of his hand on your skin made you feel utterly electric and wet. It was a wonder you weren't actually dripping down your leg and onto the bed at how badly you wanted him.

The thought sent your hand down to said wetness. You really shouldn't have been touching yourself, but you were practically burning for him, melting at the amount of teasing you'd done today and the anticipation that came with every move. Your hand was relentless, looking for its own trouble as you moaned out as quietly as you could. The water was still cascading down your back as you rubbed tight, fast circles on your clit, hoping to get fast relief.

And then a knock came at the door.

"I want you out here in five minutes!"

Sure enough, Spencer's voice was enough to finally push you off the edge, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through you. But as soon as it subsided, you turned the water off and got out to dry yourself off.

Hopefully he wouldn't ever find out what you've done. But the devious side of you really wanted to know what he'd do if he did.

With that thought flooding your brain, you quickly finished drying off and walked out into the bedroom to find Spencer waiting on the bed again. His towel was still wrapped around his waist, and it gave you an idea.

You winked and dropped your own towel, revealing yourself fully to him.

"Did I ask you to drop the towel?" he chastised.

"Nope," you replied, placing your hands on your hips.

"Then why did you do it?"

You decided to take the mocking route, drawling out an overexaggerated, "Because I'm a dirty little whore, and I need you to put your big cock inside me."

"Are you done?"

He looked bored again, and it made you want him even more. So you said, "No. Once your cock is in me, I wa—"

"Were you touching yourself in the shower?"

Holy fuck.

"No."

Spencer stood up and glided over to you until he was towering over you, clearly unbelieving of your blatant lie. "No?"

"No," you repeated, the tiniest of smirks forming on your lips.

Without warning, his hand was between your legs, and a gasp left you as he found your clit, rubbing it almost exactly the same way you'd been earlier. You couldn't help the strangled moan that left your mouth, and he smirked knowingly.

"Yep. Those are definitely the sounds I heard."

And then he removed his hand, making you whine at the loss of contact. "I'm sorry," you whispered, hoping he'd return, if only to punish you for what you did by overstimulating you.

He seemed to have another idea, though.

"You're sorry?"

"Mhm," you whimpered, reaching out to grab his hand. "I'm so sorry."

When you had hold of his hand, he took control, gripping your wrist and pushing it away, and then he grabbed your shoulder. "Then why don't you get on your knees—" he pushed on your shoulder and you obliged happily, "—and show me how sorry you are..."

Your pussy throbbed around nothing as you looked up at him, eagerly waiting for his towel to drop. But he didn't move, and it was clear that he was waiting on you to do it.

So you yanked the towel down and marveled at how hard and ready he was. Your head seemed to move of its own accord, like it was magnetically drawn to his dick, and you weren't complaining. And then your tongue flattened and licked a broad stripe underneath him, before you quickly made work of taking him completely into your mouth.

It didn't take long to start a nice rhythm bobbing up and down, occasionally looking up to see him. Again, he looked bored, and though that would have spurred you on before, now you were desperate to please. So you worked your mouth faster, slacking your jaw and taking him in deeper, using your hands to keep yourself steady by gripping the back of his thighs. You moaned and gagged around him, yet kept your pace up regardless.

"Come on, princess, you can do better than that," he teased, fisting your hair and holding you down on his cock. "Apologize like you mean it."

He released your hair then, and you pulled back to take a breath of air before spitting obscenely on his dick and quickly stroking him with your hand. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm so so sorry," you whined, right before taking his balls in your mouth. You kept at that for a few moments before going to take him in your mouth again.

This time you were meaningful in every single movement, taking him in slow and deep. Each time he hit the back of your throat you held yourself there and choked around him as long as you could, tears falling from your eyes. And then you'd pull away slowly, swirling your tongue around his tip before repeating.

Eventually though, he pulled you away completely and studied you as you sat there, knelt on the floor in front of him with red eyes, and tears and spit completely coating your face. Your lips were glistening and puffy as you panted, whispering soft apologies.

"What a good girl," Spencer mused, brushing hair from your eyes and wiping tears from your cheeks. "I accept your apology. Come here."

His gentle voice all but pulled you to him as you stood on shaky knees. He hadn't even really done anything to you yet, and you were already a mess. That fact made you smile.

You wiped most of the mess from your face and nodded. "So, what's my reward?"

Spencer huffed a laugh. "For being a brat? Nothing."

"Aw, but I thought I earned your forgiveness..." You pouted playfully, and he pulled you closer by the waist.

"Yeah, well you're being cocky, so I take it back."

Before you could say anything, he kissed you, bringing both of his hands up to cradle the sides of your head. You all but melted into him and let him lead you to the bed, where you were turned around and bent over again.

He used his leg to spread yours apart, right before bringing a hand to the nape of your neck. As he grabbed a fistful of your hair and gently tugged your head back, his other hand fell between your legs and gently parted you.

"You ready, princess?"

"Uh huh," you whined back, right as he pushed forward and glided his cock through your pussy. He waited, making you anticipate that sweet moment when he'd finally enter you, and you could tell he was enjoying every second. You wiggled against him, and he yanked your hair.

"Ah-ah, be patient... Be patient..."

He continued just sliding himself through your opening until you weren't expecting it. And then he slammed into you, eliciting a loud moan from the back of your throat.

"Sh, shh," Spencer expressed, releasing your hair and sliding his hand to cover your mouth. "Everyone's going to hear you, princess, you need to keep quiet. Can you do that for me?"

"Mhm," you mumbled against his hand, letting out a strangled sigh when he placed it on your shoulder instead. He kept up a nice, hard pace pounding into you, each slap of his hips against your burning ass just the right amount of pain to be pleasant. And you were thankful for the bed underneath you, because if you didn't have it, you'd surely have buckled under the weight of your knees already.

Feeling how limp you were in his grasp, Spencer used both his hands to wrap around the front of your throat, keeping you upright as your hands pressed into the mattress.

"Tell me, princess, do you think you deserve to come so soon?"

You were so caught up in how hard and deep he was fucking you that you were pretty sure it wouldn't matter what you told him— you were going to orgasm regardless, because there was no way you could even fathom trying to hold it in. Whether or not Spencer would show you any mercy at that point was a mystery.

You were just going to have to find out.

"I—I... Ohhhh..."

You heard him laugh lowly, and it made you clench around him. "Oh, it hasn't even been five minutes, and I've already fucked you so dumb you can't even speak? Huh?"

You whined in response, letting your head fall to the side as you tried to look at him. And you barely caught a glimpse of his hair as he continued speaking. "Aw... My poor little princess... That's what you get, isn't it? When you act like a dirty little whore..."

He was recalling what you'd teased earlier, and it brought you closer to the edge more than you liked to admit.

"Uh... huh," you whined out, dangerously close to coming undone.

"Alright then, princess. Come for me, show me what you got."

Unsurprisingly, it didn't take very long for that to happen. You let out a string of whimpers and cries as he fucked you through your orgasm, his hands slightly tightening around your throat as well. Every sensation was blinding and intense, just like you knew it'd be, even if it was only your second orgasm of the night.

And you had a decent suspicion that it wasn't going to be your last.

Even after you were done, Spencer kept at it, relentlessly fucking you into the mattress until your legs were surely numb. Your knees were still sore from being on the floor before, and likewise, your ass was still burning. Not to mention the overstimulation you were experiencing as one of his hands moved down to rub at your clit.

Eventually though, he stopped, and you weren't sure why. But then he flipped you around, laying you on the edge of the bed and leaning over you, his hands brushing more of the tears from your cheeks.

"I wanna see your pretty little eyes when I come, okay? You think you can keep 'em open for me, princess?"

"Mhm," you whined out as he pushed into you again.

He settled on a slow pace that built and built until he was fucking you fast and hard and incredibly deep. His entire body leaned into yours as he snapped his hips forward over and over again, brutal in their goal to completion. You kept whining out, feeling another orgasm coming quickly as you let yourself succumb to him.

"That's it, princess, you're taking it so well. We're almost done..." He whispered comforts into your temple, moments before you reached your peak once more. You shook violently underneath him, which was all he needed to finish himself.

He pulled back and looked into your eyes, filled with tears at the overstimulation, as he snapped his hips forward once, twice, and then three times before letting go. He held himself inside of you, moaning out while looking into your eyes. The feel of his cock throbbing and spilling over inside of you was just about the most comforting thing in the world right then, accompanied by soft brushes of his fingers through your hair and even softer declarations of love.

Long after he stayed inside of you, catching his breath, Spencer pulled out and examined you, the way your body glistened perfectly with the right amount of sweat. Your chest heaved, each dip and curve and peak of your breasts slowly rising and falling as you trembled. He slid down your body, until finally his eyes caught sight of your pussy, glistening and dripping with his cum. It absolutely wrecked him in the best way possible, so much so that he couldn't help himself.

He brought his hand to your opening, gently scooping up his cum and gathering it onto the pads of his fingers. You moaned out as he did it, and he knew then exactly what he wanted.

"Open up, princess," he pried softly, bringing his fingers to your mouth. You gladly did what you were told and sighed out as he glided them over your tongue, practically spoon-feeding you his cum. He pumped his fingers in and out of your mouth slowly, feeling every vibration on your tongue from the sounds you made. And then he did it again, bringing his fingers back to your pussy to gather more of his mess.

He did this until it was pretty much all gone, and truthfully, you would have let it go on forever. The intimacy of it all, the soft and sensual way in which he explored and watched you, and the love you felt for each other all wrapped up in a shiny, red bow was the perfect end to a perfect day.

You would have fallen asleep, but Spencer was gently nudging your arm. "Hey, you," he said gently, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I think it's time to run us a bath, don't you think?"

"Sure," you agreed quietly with a smile. "And then we can sleep, right?"

"I think the team might get mad at us for ditching dinner, but I'm willing to risk that."

With a laugh, you reached over and kissed him. "Good. I love you, Spencer."

"I love you, too, princess."

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[peaceoutofthepieces]

hi bestie I’m literally in love with you. Can I request 35 and/or 43 from the cliche tropes list for Nick and Charlie? everything you write is fantastic I love u take care <3

oh hi 🥺 you called me bestie and beloved and that means you can have both <333 i’ve seen a good few fics with sick/injured nick and they’re great already so i’m flipping it :))

35. “Do you trust me?”

43. Taking care of the other when sick or injured

Nick knows that Charlie is well-practiced at keeping his problems to himself, and otherwise ignoring them until they inevitably go away or become un-ignorable. Which is why he isn’t surprised when Charlie turns up to form looking like death, his eyes hooded and dark and his skin paler than usual. He smiles and greets Nick as normal, but slumps a little smaller in his chair, breathes a little less evenly than he should.

“Charlie,” Nick whispers, under the sound of Mr Lange taking the register. He rests his knee against Charlie’s, and Charlie turns to look at him with a small hum. “You look wrecked. Are you okay?”

Charlie blinks at him, then his lips pinch and he straightens himself up. “Yes. I’m fine. I feel fine.”

Nick’s heart squeezes, and he prepares to tell Charlie how unconvincing he sounds when Mr Lange calls his name, and then Charlie is ignoring him so studiously that Nick knows his efforts would be pointless. He reserves to keep an eye on Charlie throughout the day, and save him from himself should it become necessary.

Charlie looks even paler and more tired at lunch, and he only picks at his food. Nick and Tao trade concerned looks, but Charlie shuts Tao down so sharply when Tao asks that Nick, again, decides to let him be for now. Nick offers only a soft, half-concerned-half-reprimanding “Hey,” with a gentle touch to Charlie’s arm.

“Sorry,” Charlie mumbles, flicking his gaze up to Tao and leaning slightly against Nick. “I’m just really tired and I—I can’t today.”

Tao nods in understanding and assures Charlie it’s fine, but his eyes haven’t lost any of their concern when they meet Nick’s. Nick wraps an arm around Charlie’s shoulders and lets Charlie lean against him properly, then subtly, helplessly shakes his head at Tao. Nick knows Charlie’s bad days, and the deep effect they can have on his mood, but this is different. Nick knows this is different, even if he doesn’t know how to help any more than Tao.

Which is why, despite going home separately after Charlie’s excuse that he has too much work to catch up on to also have time to entertain Nick, Nick heads around to the Springs’ after dinner.

Mrs Spring lets him in with a pinched smile and tells him Charlie is in his room, which immediately heightens Nick’s nerves even as he passes by her with a smile and thanks.

He finds Charlie curled up in his bed. Charlie looks up at him as he comes in and pushes himself up to sitting, leaving a grimace flickering over his pale face. Nick makes a beeline for him, but refrains from sitting down. Instead, he presses a hand to Charlie’s clammy forehead.

“You’re warm,” Nick accuses.

Charlie leans away from him. “What are you doing here?”

Nick crawls onto the bed next to him. “Checking on you. You…seemed unwell, at school today, but you wouldn’t tell me.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Charlie insists. Nick raises a brow. “Nick, I’m fine. You didn’t have to come here, you could’ve just texted me.”

“Because then it would’ve been easier to lie to me?” When Charlie scoffs and looks away, Nick falters slightly. He’s gotten used to working his way around Charlie’s moods, and what’s needed from him with each one, but he feels oddly out of his depth. After all this time and all they’ve been through, perhaps he shouldn’t, but this feels at once all too familiar and like completely uncharted waters. “If you…if you don’t want me here, that’s okay. But you can’t ignore the fact that you’re sick, and it’s worrying me that you’re trying to.”

Charlie’s breath catches at that, but he doesn’t tell Nick to piss off. He slumps back against his pillow and draws his knees up, closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. Then he covers his face with his hands. “Mum’s pissed at me ‘cause I couldn’t have dinner.”

Nick’s shoulders sag, and he gets off the bed so he can resettle beside Charlie. This time he allows himself to press close—doesn’t have much choice on the single mattress, really—and feels relieved when Charlie leans against him in turn. “Did you tell her why, though?”

Charlie nods. “Didn’t believe me,” he mumbles. “Don’t know if I do, either.”

“What?” Nick’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“I wanted to try to eat dinner, but I’ve felt sick all day, so I didn’t want to try because I didn’t want to make myself sick, but what if that’s just an excuse because actually I didn’t want to try in the first place?” Charlie still hasn’t dropped his hands, but it isn’t his muffled voice that makes Nick take his time understanding.

“Okay,” he says slowly. “But, Char, I could tell this morning as soon as I looked at you. I don’t think you can fake that.” He pressed the back of his fingers to Charlie’s forehead again. “Or this. I mean, you’re literally sweating.”

Charlie drags his hands down his face with a groan. “Oh my god, I want to die.”

“Hey.” Nick strokes his hair gently before wrapping an arm around him, and relaxes some when Charlie settles against his chest. “You’re allowed to be sick. Gross, sweaty, sniffly, vomit-y sick. And you aren’t to blame, and you aren’t making it up, and you aren’t going to get rid of it by ignoring it.”

“Are you sure? I was really willing to try.”

Nick snorts. “As someone who was brutally sick just last month, yeah, I’m pretty sure.” He gives Charlie a light jostle. “Remember, I was way more pathetic about it, and you came and looked after me like, every day? In fact, this is probably my fault.”

“I think it’s just going around,” Charlie sighs. “And you weren’t pathetic. You were very pouty and needy and it made me feel more validated than it probably should.”

Nick outright laughs at that, and just catches the curl of Charlie’s lips where they’re pressed to his chest. “Why can’t you let me take care of you, then?”

He waits as Charlie continues sweating and deep-breathing on Nick’s chest, and Nick returns to petting through his hair, remembering what had brought him comfort when their positions were reversed.

“I don’t like needing looked after,” Charlie says. “It feels…vulnerable.”

It feels out of my control. Charlie doesn’t say it, but he doesn’t need to. Nick understands that much about him, by now.

“Do you trust me?” Nick asks quietly.

“Of course.”

Nick squeezes him. “Then do you feel like, it’s okay, if you’re that little bit vulnerable with me?”

Charlie curls a hand in his shirt, then uncurls it. “Maybe.”

“Would it be alright if I just stayed with you for now, then?”

Nick draws Charlie’s curls back off his forehead, and Charlie lets out a little sigh. He wraps an arm around Nick’s middle, and Nick knows he’ll be okay. “Yeah. That’d be alright.”

cliché tropes

[boldlyvoid]

Breakable Heaven | Chapter Four: Blue - PREVIEW

Coming Tuesday at Noon Est, this chapter includes phone sex :)

When her phone rings, she answers with a smile, “Hey there.” 

“Hi,” his voice groggy and barely there. It was her favourite thing to hear. 

“Did you have a long day?” 

“No, we’ll, yeah but I also fell asleep, but I had an alarm set so I wouldn’t forget to say goodnight to you…” 

She swoons, “seriously?”

“Yep.” He says with a hard P. 

“You can go back to sleep, cutie, it’s okay.” 

“Nooo,” he whines. “Tell me about your day? How’s Jas? Did your last exam go okay?” 

She gives in with a sigh. She leans back against her pillow and gets comfortable under the covers, “if I start telling you and you fall asleep, I’m not going to be mad.” 

“I won’t fall asleep again, I promise.” 

“Okay then,” she gives in with a sweet smile. “My exam went well, I think? I never know with biology. Um, and Jas is good… I haven’t seen her since yesterday. She found a boyfriend for the summer.” 

“She’s given up on the experiment?” Spencer fakes a gasp, making Andy laugh. 

“Yeah, but it’s a good thing. She had enough data on sex anyway, it’s about damn time she started getting some love in there too.” 

“Equal parts of sex and love do make a great relationship,” he agrees. “Am I ever going to get to meet her?” 

“Probably” she shrugs, “she’s getting an apartment downtown, near Joe’s actually. So, I can tell my dad I’m at her place and go to yours instead…” 

“Naughty.” 

She can hear his smile. “What? Don’t tell me you aren’t also trying to figure out how to get me back over there?”

“It’ll happen when it happens,” he doesn’t seem too rushed by it. “Speaking of which, did you still want me to come and help you paint this weekend?” 

“Yes, please,” she’s extra sweet. “Dad and Derek are going to build the crib and all the other baby stuff. Which also means Penelope and JJ will probably stop in to see them, so it won’t be too weird to have you there too.” 

“I'm excited to finally see the Hotchner house,” he teases. “I’ve heard it’s basically a mansion.” 

“It’s pretty big… I mean, we have a gate with a code and a rose garden with yard people, so yeah, it's basically a mansion.” 

It makes him laugh, “And maybe now you can show me how you sneak out of your window…” 

“I could,” she feels her cheeks start to burn. “You have a car, right?” 

“It’s old. And loud.”

“Shit,” she bites her lip to think. “What if you parked at the end of the street and I met you down there?” 

“Do you not need help getting down from the window?” He’s overly concerned. “Cause I already had a plan to just leave the car at the new build in your neighbourhood and walk over… I might have to climb the gate or jump the fence, but I was going to help you down.” 

“My hair isn’t long enough to play rapunzel,” she teases him. 

“Am I not a Romeo?” 

“Older than me, check, my dad doesn’t particularly like you, check… you just better not stab yourself,” she tries to tease him but she just hears his bedsheets ruffle as he sits up. 

“He doesn’t like me?” 

“No, I mean, yes! Yes, he likes you, I just meant he wouldn’t like you if I showed interest in you, like marriage at 13 interest. He said he really likes you, you’re an asset to the team…”

“But?” 

“But you can’t shoot for shit…” 

“Great,” he smacks himself in the forehead, causing the slap to ring through the phone. “That’s just fantastic. I didn’t want you to know that! I have my qualification in a month. A month, okay!” 

“Spence,” she softens her voice. “I’m not judging you. You’re a new agent, and you’re in a team that doesn’t require you to carry. It’s perfectly fine and normal to not be qualified yet.” 

“Just because you know what to say to me doesn’t mean it’s true,” he mumbles. 

“What was that?” 

“It’s just,” he lets out an exasperated sigh and flops back down against his pillow. “You’re studying the human brain, you could be a psychologist if you wanted to… and you have the Hotchner gene of just knowing everything like you can read minds. But, just because you have a reason for it, it doesn’t stop my mind from being anxious.” 

“I know that,” she sympathizes. “Does it help at all when I attempt to rationalize or would you like to ramble and search for an answer with my help?” 

“You’d do that?” 

She’d do anything for him. 

“Absolutely, Spence. If there’s a way I can help you ease your mind, I’m going to help.” 

“Why?” 

“Well…”

Because I love you. 

“Um, cause I like being your friend and I feel like you don’t have a friend who you can really talk to.” 

It’s convincing enough. 

“Okay,” he believes her. “You just have to promise me to do the same. Please talk to me. I uh, I have a hard time understanding meaning in people’s words and actions sometimes, and I’d hate to lose you— you know, as a friend and all, just because I couldn’t read something in you.” 

“Well, luckily for you, I also come in audiobook,” she teases.