#I’m still traumatised by that scene

[missdontcare-x]

not only did they bring Dana back they showed the flower

[alliumdykes]

THERES SEQUELS TO THE NEVER ENDING STORY????? HUH????

WASNT ONE ENOUGH????

[wosoamazing]

Interrupted

Summary: You accidentally walk in on Leah and Lia, and it's safe to say your traumatised.

Warnings: Suggestive (Mentions of what R saw when they walked in)

A/N: Thank you for all your requests, I have started writing them, and continue to work on other fics (for both requests and non-requests). Also this is only short but I hope you like it.

You walked down the hallway, heading for Leah’s room, more specifically her bathroom. Your period was meant to start today so you wanted to put a tampon in, however you had none in your bathroom as you took them all with you when you moved to Spain and completely forgot to pack any, so you were planning on using one of hers. To say opening that door was the biggest regret of your life is an understatement, your eyes were only opened for half a second if that, yet the image of the scene in front of you managed to ingrain itself into your brain. The view of your sister’s head in Lia’s lap at 8 am was disturbing to say the least. You quickly ran, well more like speed walked due to the fact you had a moon boot on, to your room, grabbing your bag and heading out the door, calling Viv immediately.

“Viv, Beth, please pick me up, I’m walking in the direction of your house from ours, I will explain later, I just can’t see Leah right now or maybe never,” you said in a voice laced with shock and horror.

“What happened?” Viv asked as the look of complete horror was still plastered on your face. Beth smirked, as she looked at her phone, clearly just receiving a message from Leah.

“Why don’t you tell Viv here, Y/N/N” she said, as she continued to smirk.

“I-I-I walked in on them, her-her-her head was, no please don’t remind me,” you shuddered, “also can we go to the store? I need tampons, that’s why I um, yeah” you said quickly.

“Sure, then we’ll go back to ours and have breakfast before we head to training,” you nodded your head, Barça had allowed to go back to London for a week, more specifically Arsenal as your recovery was going well, the only condition was that you continued your rehab at Arsenal, which you were doing. Surprisingly being at Arsenal didn’t make you sad that you had left, but instead was making you miss Barca, you enjoyed being at Arsenal but it was no longer your home and so it felt slightly different.

____

“Where’s your sister and Lia?” Katie asked smirking, “Don’t tease her like that,” Steph said walking in. 

“Wait how do you all know,” “Leah messaged the group chat, saying she thinks she just traumatised you and you left, asking if any of us knew where you were. Beth then replied and said maybe next time lock the door."

_

“Good Morning Bug,” Leah said as she walked into the locker room going in for a hug, you quickly swerved and ducked under her arm. 

“Nope, not good morning” you said as you looked at the ground, briefly glancing up to see Lia’s face bright red.

“It is partly your fault, you know, you’re the one who opened the door.”

“It’s my fault? I’m not the ones who were being disturbingly quiet, with an unlocked door,” everyone's heads tilted to the side as they looked at the two women who couldn’t find any words to speak.

____

“Alexia, please promise me that you will forever lock the door when you’re doing something I shouldn’t walk in on,” you cried out as you walked through the door of the house, not realising that the rest of the team was also there.

“So it is true then,” Alexia smirked, and all the others laughed.

“Actually that goes for all of you." You stop and point at all of them around the room. "Lock. The. Doors." You look at them, not quite sure they all let the message sink in "Doors = Locked. Do you understand?” They all nodded in amusement.

[mazzystar24]

…… i can’t wait until these people are gone

This is in fact the ask that the draft didn’t save for so if my answer is worse than the original I will cry

My eye is legit twitching

So we all know this is bs but let’s go through point by point for why this is bs

“Eddie hasn’t done anything like that for him” (dropped everything and helped him) - this is honestly down to how they act with their emotions, Eddie bottles things until they turn into an emergency drop everything and deal with it situation but buck will have ongoing issues that he’ll need help with and he’ll seek it as it happens (e.g his parents or his injuries etc) and when he does Eddie IS there and shows up for him and helps him but we haven’t had him be in sort of a drop everything scenario (except the Buckley family dinner scene and we don’t know where he went after but the scene we see after that is buck talking to who? Eddie)

“Constantly makes jokes about bucks trauma” - as someone with ptsd and my own fair share of trauma and with traumatised friends I feel like once a certain level of rapport is reached you can joke with eachother about traumas 1. They both do it (e.g bucks “didn’t you just have one of those?”) 2. It’s never in emotional or vulnerable moments 3. It never crosses a line 4. Bold criticism considering Tommy made a daddy kink joke and a comment abt how bucks dad is still alive when buck was opening up abt why Bobby matters sm to him 5. It’s received and delivered well 6. It’s not actually constantly it’s a handful at most and the most outright one is abt the tsunami and that was HIS trauma too dont y’all forget my dude thought his son was dead for a hot minute

Told his team buck needed to get over being crushed by a fire truck- in that scene the writers did everything but flat out say he was projecting, when he’s talking abt bottling things up and his dads advice and all that stuff and the audience KNOWS that he’s just been through a bunch of traumas that he’s bottling up and “getting over” for the sake of Chris, they’re basically flat out telling you he’s projecting, now the minute that hen and bobby point out that buck feels alone what does Eddie do? He drags him out of bed and attempts to motivate him launching “operation buck up buck” in chimneys words, now mind the fact that he doesn’t do this for himself or give himself the same kindness because he genuinely believes you deal with things by ignoring them (reminder this is untherapised Eddie two eps away from fight club) but despite believing that he knows it’s what buck needs so he does it for him

He’s never once apologised for buck and made buck apologise to him- I’m assuming this is abt lawsuit era, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again no one in the lawsuit era was perfect that’s the whole point, either they’re all in the wrong or they’re all excused because they all had their reasons, Bobby kept buck behind and lied but he was scared to lose him, Buck sued and didn’t tell anyone and went no contact and shared personal shit but he’s just been through a bunch of trauma and his father figure and the man who was by his side the whole time through rehab basically said it isn’t good enough (in bucks brain) and that all that work still means he can’t get back to doing his life’s purpose, Eddie has had hit after hit trauma after trauma with no time to breathe in between AND THEN HIS BEST FRIEND GOES NO CONTACT BECAUSE OF WHAT BOBBY DID AND HE SUES BOBBY AND THE DEPARTMENT WITHOUT TALKING IT OUT WITH ANYONE AND SHARES PERSONAL INFO THAT HIS LAWYER THROWS IN HIS FACE, and while dealing with all the aforementioned trauma Eddie has to deal with Chris’ trauma and Chris missing buck and Eddie not being able to do anything abt it, so yeah honestly he WAS owed an apology (but again imo all sides have justification) and it’s not like he was a dick to buck for an extended period of time, he lasted one shift being bitchy and giving silent treatment and then buck had one emotional talk with puppy eyes and an apology and Eddie instantly was like ofc I forgive you🙄just don’t do it again☝️🤨 and again bold criticism when buck apologised to Tommy for what? Not being ready to come out to his friend in public after exactly one queer kiss and mid first queer date?? And then got ditched on the side of the road by Tommy???

He never once acted like a good friend outside of the will and the hospitals- “you don’t have to be anything for anyone, no one is the same from one day to the next and things like this change us so what changed in you?” “Did you say anything that wasn’t true? Well look maybe you could’ve come at it a little differently but if that’s how you feel, how they made you feel you have every right to say so” “that’s not your fault”“I had to do it- I know you did” “and what you think you failed? I failed that kid more times than I care to count and I’m his father but I love him enough to keep trying and I know that you do too” “there is no one in this world I trust with my son more than you”“you saved him, that’s how he remembers it and now its his turn to do the same to you” “now am I allowed to ask how you are?” “ you died buck you’re gonna feel a lot of different ways about that…I found the best way is to let yourself feel it” - and that’s not even all of them just a few favourites but my thumbs are sore

Eddie has left buck out from so many things and never realised it was wrong- 7x04 is literally the only time we’ve seen that and remember Tim said the whole episode is bucks perspective and I said this before the ep even aired in this ask but it’s still true that for Eddie I think he just genuinely is so secure in their friendship that he didn’t think buck would be insecure abt it and when he does he is actually the one who puts it together and sends Tommy to buck - I go a little more in depth in this post that turned out to be a draft that I freed from my drafts just for this ask also what did we see him exclude buck from? Basketball that he doesn’t like and that he’s asked him to join in multiple times? Watching a fight that he had no previous interest in? Muay Thai that he doesn’t know how to do and again showed no previous interest in? Like when buck and Eddie are close y’all say they’re codependent and unhealthy and when Eddie has other friends y’all say he’s a bad friend?

Tommy was the one who apologised to him - at EDDIES URGING BECAUSE BRO WAS LAID UP AFTER BUCK SPRAINED HIS ANKLE???😭😭

“Tommy has been doing all the things Eddie hasn’t” - youre so right actually like putting a damper on bucks mood or having a racist past or having like 10 lines and the majority of them being sardonic and kinda insensitive, making an emotional moment into a sexual one and having like 5 minutes of screentime 🤩🎀

Wow babe I have a degree in yappology and a minor in ranting for real sorry for the long response 😭😭😭

[theghostofpyke]

A week of Theon: Truth or Lies

As an frequent reader of Theon escape & recovery fic, I'm aware that a recurring fantasy in fandom and fanfic goes something like this: Robb, Jon, "the Starks", or another main character knew that Theon 'vanished', maybe even that he's held captive by Bolton. They are very angry at Theon for what he did, but when they find out about the torture, they are horrified. Maybe they are spurred into action to help or protect Theon.

I much understand the id-appeal of these types of stories. However, this is, of course, not the story we are told in the books. Personally, the story in the books makes me even more emotional. So for the prompt: "True and Lies" let's look at the truth of who knew about Theon's torture, and what it meant to them:

🐺 Jon 🔥

Jon has been in the know that Theon is being tortured by Ramsay Bolton, specifically flayed, since A Storm Of Swords:

“Jon,” said Maester Aemon, “much and more happened while you were away, and little of it good. Balon Greyjoy has crowned himself again and sent his longships against the north. Kings sprout like weeds at every hand and we have sent appeals to all of them, yet none will come. They have more pressing uses for their swords, and we are far off and forgotten. And Winterfell . . . Jon, be strong . . . Winterfell is no more . . .” “No more?” Jon stared at Aemon’s white eyes and wrinkled face. “My brothers are at Winterfell. Bran and Rickon . . .” The maester touched his brow. “I am so very sorry, Jon. Your brothers died at the command of Theon Greyjoy, after he took Winterfell in his father’s name. When your father’s bannermen threatened to retake it, he put the castle to the torch.” “Your brothers were avenged,” Grenn said. “Bolton’s son killed all the ironmen, and it’s said he’s flaying Theon Greyjoy inch by inch for what he did.” “I’m sorry, Jon.” Pyp squeezed his shoulder. “We are all.” Jon had never liked Theon Greyjoy, but he had been their father’s ward. Another spasm of pain twisted up his leg, and the next he knew he was flat on his back again. “There’s some mistake,” he insisted. “At Queenscrown I saw a direwolf, a grey direwolf . . . grey . . . it knew me.” If Bran was dead, could some part of him live on in his wolf, as Orell lived within his eagle? “Drink this.” Grenn held a cup to his lips. Jon drank. His head was full of wolves and eagles, the sound of his brothers’ laughter. The faces above him began to blur and fade. They can’t be dead. Theon would never do that. And Winterfell . . . grey granite, oak and iron, crows wheeling around the towers, steam rising off the hot pools in the godswood, the stone kings sitting on their thrones . . . how could Winterfell be gone?

In this scene, injured, freshly back from his quite traumatising mission beyond the wall, Jon is quickly filled in by his comrades about what he missed: The fall of Winterfell, Bran and Rickon's murder, Theon's torture.

It's a lot to take in, and Jon reacts with doubt: His warg abilities make him suspect that Bran is still alive, his character judgement make him doubt that Theon would do such a thing. He's right on both counts, but in between everything else going on in his life he doesn't particularly find the time to reflect on it further.

Jon will briefly think of Theon in subsequent chapters: Channels the memory of Theon when using a bow. Mentions Theon when remembering Winterfell. In fact, nearly all of Jon's - few - thoughts about Theon will be in context of Winterfell's loss: Winterfell…. but it was torched by Theon, so it is no more :( Ser Rodrik….. but he was slain by Theon Turncloak. All my memories are poisoned :(

Theon's torture is not on his mind. Grenn told Jon of Theon's torture with the aim to comfort him: Your brothers were slain but they are being avenged! Jon is not particularly comforted, but nor is he disturbed. Jon has one and half books of thinking about what Winterfell means to him and about Bolton in the context of Arya (whom he thinks a lot about) to consider how Theon is faring and if this particular rumor is true; he doesn't. Theon's torture is a minor detail.

🐟 Catelyn 🐺

“Did Ramsay mention Theon Greyjoy?” Robb demanded. “Was he slain as well, or did he flee?” Roose Bolton removed a ragged strip of leather from the pouch at his belt. “My son sent this with his letter.” Ser Wendel turned his fat face away. Robin Flint and Smalljon Umber exchanged a look, and the Greatjon snorted like a bull. “Is that . . . skin?” said Robb. “The skin from the little finger of Theon Greyjoy’s left hand. My son is cruel, I confess it. And yet . . . what is a little skin, against the lives of two young princes? You were their mother, my lady. May I offer you this . . . small token of revenge?” Part of Catelyn wanted to clutch the grisly trophy to her heart, but she made herself resist. “Put it away. Please.” “Flaying Theon will not bring my brothers back,” Robb said. “I want his head, not his skin.” “He is Balon Greyjoy’s only living son,” Lord Bolton said softly, as if they had forgotten, “and now rightful King of the Iron Islands. A captive king has great value as a hostage.” “Hostage?” The word raised Catelyn’s hackles. Hostages were oft exchanged. “Lord Bolton, I hope you are not suggesting that we free the man who killed my sons.” “Whoever wins the Seastone Chair will want Theon Greyjoy dead,” Bolton pointed out. “Even in chains, he has a better claim than any of his uncles. Hold him, I say, and demand concessions from the ironborn as the price of his execution.” Robb considered that reluctantly, but in the end he nodded. “Yes. Very well. Keep him alive, then. For the present. Hold him secure at the Dreadfort till we’ve retaken the north.”

At the Twins, Roose tells all present - Catelyn, Robb, Wendel Manderly, Robin Flint, Smalljon Umber - of Theon's torture, bringing grisly proof: A piece of Theon's skin.

As Grenn did with Jon, the knowledge that Theon is being tortured is offered as comfort. Catelyn is comforted.

“Your first duty is to defend your own people, win back Winterfell, and hang Theon in a crow’s cage to die slowly. Or else put off that crown for good, Robb, for men will know that you are no true king at all.”

(Catelyn speaking to Robb)

When she said that, it felt as though a giant hand were squeezing her chest. “I want them all dead, Brienne. Theon Greyjoy first, then Jaime Lannister and Cersei and the Imp, every one, every one. But my girls . . . my girls will . . .”

(Catelyn speaking to Brienne)

Catelyn, who has been openly fantasising and demanding Theon's death and Theon's torture from the young warriors at her side (Brienne, Robb) in prior chapters, is actively opposed to Theon being helped, freed or rescued. The thought of Theon getting freed from Bolton's clutches is upsetting to her.

🐺 Robb ⚔️

In the same conversation, Robb learns of Theon's torture. He disapproves: Flaying Theon will not bring my brothers back. I want his head, not his skin.

He, however, also doesn't oppose it. He doesn't forbid it. He doesn't punch Roose in the face. He doesn't gather his men to hurriedly ride to the Dreadfort. He doesn't demand Ramsay's head. (I list a few fanfic scenarios, here).

When faced with sound tactical reasoning, Robb explicitly allows Theon's ongoing captivity at the hands of Ramsay. Even while knowing Ramsay is torturing Theon. Even with the information that Ramsay is in charge and Ramsay is "cruel" as per Roose's words.

Notably, Robb doesn't qualify his approval of Theon's ongoing captivity with something like: Very well, keep him alive and treat him well / stop torturing him / don't cut any more piece off him. It's just: Very well, keep him alive, for the present." Robb allows Theon's captivity to go on as is.

🪝 White Harbor🧜

Davos thought back on the tales they’d heard. “Winterfell was captured by Theon Greyjoy, who had once been Lord Stark’s ward. He had Stark’s two young sons put to death and mounted their heads above the castle walls. When the northmen came to oust him, he put the entire castle to sword, down to the last child, before he himself was slain by Lord Bolton’s bastard.” “Not slain,” said Glover. “Captured, and carried back to the Dreadfort. The Bastard has been flaying him.” Lord Wyman nodded. “The tale you tell is one we all have heard, as full of lies as a pudding’s full of raisins."

Just another example of how well-known the tale of Theon's captivity and torture is. Davos, Robett Glover and Manderly have been at different places at different times, but all of them have heard the same tale of Theon's flaying.

🦑 Asha 🪓

Asha Greyjoy was seated in Galbart Glover’s longhall drinking Galbart Glover’s wine when Galbart Glover’s maester brought the letter to her. “My lady.” The maester’s voice was anxious, as it always was when he spoke to her. “A bird from Barrowton.” He thrust the parchment at her as if he could not wait to be rid of it. It was tightly rolled and sealed with a button of hard pink wax. Barrowton. Asha tried to recall who ruled in Barrowton. Some northern lord, no friend of mine. And that seal … the Boltons of the Dreadfort went into battle beneath pink banners spattered with little drops of blood. It only stood to reason that they would use pink sealing wax as well. This is poison that I hold, she thought. I ought to burn it. Instead she cracked the seal. A scrap of leather fluttered down into her lap. When she read the dry brown words, her black mood grew blacker still. Dark wings, dark words. The ravens never brought glad tidings. The last message sent to Deepwood had been from Stannis Baratheon, demanding homage. This was worse. “The northmen have taken Moat Cailin.” “The Bastard of Bolton?” asked Qarl, beside her. “Ramsay Bolton, Lord of Winterfell, he signs himself. But there are other names as well.” Lady Dustin, Lady Cerwyn, and four Ryswells had appended their own signatures beneath his. Beside them was drawn a crude giant, the mark of some Umber. Those were done in maester’s ink, made of soot and coal tar, but the message above was scrawled in brown in a huge, spiky hand. It spoke of the fall of Moat Cailin, of the triumphant return of the Warden of the North to his domains, of a marriage soon to be made. The first words were, “I write this letter in the blood of ironmen,” the last, “I send you each a piece of prince. Linger in my lands, and share his fate.” Asha had believed her little brother dead. Better dead than this. The scrap of skin had fallen into her lap. She held it to the candle and watched the smoke curl up, until the last of it had been consumed and the flame was licking at her fingers. Galbart Glover’s maester hovered expectantly at her elbow. “There will be no answer,” she informed him.

I'll admit that the timelines are a bit confused to me, but it seems to me that Asha is one of the last of our named characters to learn about Theon's fate. Prior to this letter, she thought Theon dead.

We have several indications that the ironborn as a people and the Greyjoys as family have not been informed of Theon's captivity and survival, nor of his torture:

Before the priest could answer Gorold Goodbrother, the maester's mouth flapped open once again. "By rights the Seastone Chair belongs to Theon, or Asha if the prince is dead. That is the law."

Or Asha if the prince is dead. They don't know if he is. He might be.

They had spoken in the Sea Tower, as the wind howled outside the windows and the waves crashed restlessly below. Balon had shaken his head in despair when he heard what Aeron had to tell him of his last remaining son. "The wolves have made a weakling of him, as I feared," the king had said. "I pray god that they killed him, so he cannot stand in Asha's way."

Well, this is brutal, but clearly, Balon never knew what happened to Theon. Balon has many faults but this kind of sneaky dishonesty isn't one. Had he known about Theon's captivity and torture, he would not have claimed ignorance.

And Theon, if he lived, was just as hopeless, a boy of sulks and smiles. At Winterfell he proved his worth, such that it was, but the Crow's Eye was no crippled boy.

Aeron, too, is in the dark on whether Theon survived.

Only now do the ironborn receive letters telling them of Theon's situation. The letters don't aim to negotiate Theon's future, nor do they offer his death or release (understandable, as they are written by Ramsay, who wants to keep Theon for himself). They use Theon's fate as threat and show of force. This is happening to him, this could happen to you.

"Each of you" implies several such letters were sent. Asha. Dagmer would seem likely. Maybe some more along the Stony Shore? Unclear to me whether the Iron Islands proper (aka Euron or Erik Ironmaker who rules the Iron Islands as Euron's steward in his absence) have gotten a similar letter yes or no.

Asha is very affected by this letter. Most of this chapter she spends ruminating and reacting to her (lack of) options:

What does it matter? My father’s dead, my mother’s dying, my brother’s being flayed, and there’s naught that I can do about any of it.

But at least once it is implied she might have wanted to go rescue Theon, had she been able to.

She could turn merchanter, as Tris seemed to want, or else make for the Stepstones and join the pirates there. Or … “I send you each a piece of prince,” she muttered.

I read this as: Or… she could go find Theon.

She won't be able to, as immediately after, Deepwood Motte gets attacked and conquered by Stannis' forces and Asha taken prisoner.

She'll keep thinking of Theon and Theon's fate several times, in brief, vague memories tingued with guilt, often connected to her mother.

🩸Some Context 🩸

On the one hand, torture is normalised in the world these characters inhabit.

Manderly has a torturer. Stannis has a torturer. Jon Snow, some chapters prior, learned that Qhorin Halfhand had wildlings tortured. One of them Qhorin had tortured to death and "too quickly for him to be of much use". Jon is not upset by this and will come to respect Qhorin.

People get tortured for all sorts of reasons: To question them, to threaten others, to provide particularly gruesome deaths that leave an effect on enemies or allies (and so on).

On the other hand, there are some rules.

The flayed man was the sigil of House Bolton, Theon knew; ages past, certain of their lords had gone so far as to cloak themselves in the skins of dead enemies. A number of Starks had ended thus. Supposedly all that had stopped a thousand years ago, when the Boltons had bent their knees to Winterfell.

We learn, for instance, that the Boltons had to stop cloaking themselves in their enemies' skin when they bent the knee to Winterfell. It's somewhat unclear to me here if flaying as torture method at all was banned or "cloaking themselves in their enmies' skin" in specific.

After all, not only Joffrey but also the good Blackfish Tully throws threats of flaying people around, which would imply that flaying is not per se considered too abominable to consider.

“I mean,” said the Blackfish, “that you owe His Grace your thanks for his forbearance. He played out that mummer’s farce in the Great Hall so as not to shame you before your own people. Had it been me I would have flayed you for your stupidity rather than praising this folly of the fords.”

The Blackfish is not serious in this threat (probably) but think of violence you (your culture) would consider truly descipable. Would you, even unseriously, as "a good person", boast of doing this to someone?

The Bolton banner is considered abominable, though. There's a rumour about a room in the Dreadfort where the Boltons hang their enemies's skins deemed dreadful enough by at least the Stark children to be suspected to be "only one of Old Nan's stories"

"Gods, I was so scared. And the Greatjon’s not the worst of them, only the loudest. Lord Roose never says a word, he only looks at me, and all I can think of is that room they have in the Dreadfort, where the Boltons hang the skins of their enemies.” “That’s just one of Old Nan’s stories,” Bran said. A note of doubt crept into his voice. “Isn’t it?” “I don’t know.” He gave a weary shake of his head.

(Robb talking to Bran)

So flaying yay or nay is is a bit ambiguous to me, but

Roose himself calls Ramsay's treatment of Theon exceptionally "cruel"

Manderly & Co discuss Ramsay as extremely cruel abnomaly, and house Bolton as "cunning and cruel"

Barbrey Dustin reacts with horror to seeing Theon, which tells us that the way Ramsay treats his prisoner is considered beyond the realm of "normal", even in this brutal world, even by vengeful, vindictive women like Barbrey who do not shy away from a little cruelty

If we assume that flaying was in fact banned in the North, when Bolton spreads the word that Theon is being flayed by his Bastard, he's conducting a double PR-move:

One, rejoice in our mistreatment of the turncloak who destroyed Winterfell and Winterfell's heirs. (Invoking the memory of Stark to cement their power; "we are avenging Winterfell")

Two, we are flaying again, and don't you in fact like it? (Defying the memory of Stark to show that They are now in charge according to their Own rules. Stark might have banned flaying, but we flay. A power-move against the memory of Stark.)

What is being done to Theon is then something that "should not" be considered acceptable (this is no honourable way to treat prisoners; this is an exceptional and cruel mode of punishment; skinning your enemies is abominable; it was banned; this is not a regular hazard of going to battle and being a war prisoner) yet it is, because it speaks to people's desires and political needs that if it is done to Theon we will accept and even welcome it.

"Theon is secretly tortured" vs. "Theon is publicly tortured and the world approves" makes for two very different stories and very different narratives for Theon, as well.

There's no recuperation, here. There's no "if they had known they would have".

It is simply that Theon's mistreatment is the price that is being paid. To maintain or reinstate power in the North. To create order. To manage a story of heroes (us) and villains (them; vanquished, under our control, punished). This is true of Theon as a child taken hostage and it is true of Theon as young adult getting tortured.

The knowing of it is the point. For a surviving Theon, it means living in a world that approved of his captivity and a world that approved of his torture. I think that very compelling and if GRRM ever writes these books I look forward to seeing this Theon.

[autisticwriterblog]

Izzy, Ed and abuse

okay, so I’ve seen a few people talking about Izzy and Ed, and it genuinely disturbs me that I’ve seen people deny that Izzy is a victim of abuse. By most definitions, physical abuse is categorised as causing physical harm to another person’s body with intent to hurt them. Some things, like punching Izzy for selling Stede out, or choking him for saying hateful stuff when Ed was at his lowest, whilst not acceptable in the real world, are perfectly normal reactions for a pirate to have toward a member of his crew, so I’m not talking about things like that.

But the toe scene and the early parts of season 2 are clearly abusive, and only by sheer character bias (framing Ed as someone who could never do anything wrong) can you look at the way Ed treats Izzy and not consider Izzy a victim. Izzy and Ed have had a mutually toxic relationship for a long time, judging by their interactions, but I personally only see abusive behaviour starting with the toe scene. And the abusive one is Ed. Which shouldn’t be a controversial thing to say, considering what we see on screen, and yet…

Even at the end of season one, we saw Ed cut Izzy’s toe off and force him to eat it, and it is confirmed in season 2 that he took two more toes. He is even about to take a fourth toe when Izzy reports that the crew refused to throw their treasure overboard, and Izzy doesn’t argue, much unlike in season 1, when he often bitched at Ed for his decisions. Now, Izzy just takes the punishment.

Things between them come to a head when Ed shoots Izzy in the leg, leading to infection, and the amputation of his leg. He even puts a gun in Izzy’s hand, directly leading to Izzy’s suicide attempt. And in the end, all Izzy gets is a mumbled apology and that's that.

I know many people don’t like Izzy, but do they not sympathise with him? I’ll be first to admit that I don’t like Ed and Stede (I used to, but season 2 made me dislike them more and more for reasons too complicated to go into now), but I feel bad for them when bad things happen to them. I got bullied as a child, so I sympathise with Stede in the flashbacks to his childhood, and I was horrified when I learned what Ed's father was like. I don't particularly like either of them, but I feel bad for them when they're suffering. Which is why I found it so strange and appalling that people who dislike Izzy seemed to find it funny when Izzy was crawling along the floor, or died a painful death.

Even ignoring Ed's treatment of Izzy, the way he treats the crew is abusive too. He overworks them, pushing them into three months of consecutive raids (assuming they did one raid a day), leaving them all so stressed that Fang seems to always be crying. He forces Jim and Archie to fight to the death for no reason other than he said so. He expects Frenchie to kill Izzy, and it is clear how terrified Frenchie is the entire time he lies to Ed. The whole crew walk on eggshells around Ed because they don't know when he'll explode again. Basically, even if Izzy isn't being mentioned (and he should for the record, because he got the worst treatment - and he didn't deserve it, despite that some people seem to think being mutilated is a fair punishment for yelling at Ed), Ed was still abusive towards the crew. During that time period, Ed is incredibly unstable. He wants the world to burn and doesn't care who gets hurt along with him. Which is why the crew still show signs of trauma after Stede returns. Because they are traumatised by Ed's behaviour.

I know that Ed is a victim of abuse, and I have seen people bring this up when his abusive behaviour is mentioned. The thing is, it's perfectly possible for a victim to become an abuser themself, because they're a human being and are capable of doing bad things. Yes, survivors don't have to become abusive (see: my mum, who was smacked as a child but never raised a hand to her own children, because she didn't turn out like her parents), but it can happen. And that is what happened with Ed. There is even a direct parallel between Ed's dad throwing a plate against the wall, scaring Ed's mother, and the scene where Ed throws a chair against the wall, making Stede visibly flinched. If you want someone to be annoyed with about this comparison, don't pick the fans who are just noticing something in canon - blame the show for writing Ed doing the same thing his abusive father did.

In conclusion, Izzy fans aren't just making things up. We're pointing out things that canon showed onscreen and how Ed's behaviour toward Izzy is abusive. I wanted to like Ed this season, but the way the show wrote him made it impossible for me to tolerate him, because he treated everyone badly and they were expected to just move on. I understand that Ed is a romantic lead, but perhaps it wasn't a good idea to make your romantic lead act so abusive toward his subordinates and then never show any real consequences of that.

[ineffably-smote]

Macbeth, David Tennant - A very subjective, spoiler and emotion filled review

Just walking out of seing Macbeth at the Donmar and I have Feelings. Unsurprisingly, I primarily went to see it because David Tennant was in it. I love the play, big fan of Shakespeare but the trip to London was most certainly motivated by a very specific actor. Hence the highly subjective review. Fortunately, I also happen to quite like Macbeth. We studied it at school, and it holds a special place in my heart (back then, Hamlet was my favourite Shakespeare play but honestly, after tonight, I’m not so sure anymore. Anyway, I digress). It was my first time actually seeing an actor I’m a fan of in real life, so obviously the entire time my brain was just going oh my god that’s David Tennant oh my god that’s David Tennant like I actually could not comprehend it. The man I’ve spent hours staring at on a little screen is suddenly real, and right there. So yeah, that took me a hot second.

(Excuse the piss poor image quality, I took this with shaky hands without looking or bothering to focus the cam)

The Staging

Still starstruck and a bit dazed, one thing really really stood out to me: the staging. It was so, so good. I knew it was going to be minimal from the pictures I had seen, and it was, but it was also so insanely real. There were barely any decorations, and half the cast and the musicians were hidden behind a glass screen doing background noises and gestures. From where I was sitting I could not see them much, but could definitely hear them which added to the overall atmosphere. The stage was also really tiny, and the play benefitted incredibly from it. All the action was happening in one tight space that had been put to use incredibly well, particularly the banquet scene but I’ll come back to that because it deserves its own paragraph.

The way they chose to do the soliloquies was so fitting - all the actors start to move in slow motion - everyone else slowing down and just the characters speaking moving was so good, it made sense.

The Headphones

I’m a bit mixed about the headphones. They were amazing for the vibes, we could hear whispers and they really heightened some of the emotional speeches in the play - because when someone is struggling with guilt and trauma it makes sense for them to be mumbling rather than yelling. So that was really great. However, especially in the scenes where the actors where yelling/ loud I preferred to take them off a bit cause it felt more real that way. I’m so used to hearing actors voice on recordings, it does hit different when you can hear them for real. But, as I said, personal preference and that’s what’s nice, you can take them on and off as much as you want.

Famous Speeches

There were three speeches I was quite interested to see how they were going to be adapted - scorpions and dagger for Macbeth, and out damned spot for Lady Macbeth. These are classic, everyone knows the words, the plot but they managed to make it feel real in a new and touching way. I think here the headphones were quite helpful because they allowed the actors to actually whisper parts of those lines. They were so subtle, so embedded in the text they felt so natural which imbued them with all their power. I saw in a review Cush Jumbo’s out damned spot speech be described as “haunting”, and I wholeheartedly agree.

The Macbeths

I didn’t like Macbeth, the character, very much when I first learnt about him. His actions didn’t make sense to me, I couldn’t quite comprehend in my 21st century little brain how he went from I’m super loyal to the King to I will freely murder children for shits and giggles. But now, now I understand. It makes sense, it’s believable. And that’s a mix of the acting choices and teh overall setting. Like the opening scene, instead of presenting Macbeth as a glorious hero, he is presented to us as a traumatised hero. He spends the first few minutes washing the blood of his clothes, haunted by noises from the battlefield. And that sets the themes quite nicely, not ambition, as Tennant specified in an interview, but guilt and trauma. There are so many ways to interpret Shakespeare, that’s the beauty of it, and I think this version of Macbeth just resonated more with me (maybe because ambition I don’t quite understand but guilt I am intimately familiar with? Or maybe because it was David Tennant? I don’t know, probably a bit of both). Tennant delivers a convincing Macbeth. Yes, you can see his ambitions play out, but also his fears, his guilt, and that makes him into a complex three dimensional character that you want to understand.

And I absolutely loved this version of Lady Macbeth. Not just a powerful woman who bullies her husband into become an evil murderer (because again, here we can see traces of that in Macbeth from the start), but an ambition woman in love, with her husband, with power, and not quite healed from the trauma of loosing her child. Again another review said she is more of an enabler than a manipulator and I quite liked that description.

My Favourite Scenes

God the banquet scene. The one with the ghost of Banquo. An absolute masterpiece. I did not expect that scene to hit that hard. It was raw, it was powerful and even if Tennant was facing away from where I was sitting, even without seeing his face I could feel the emotion, the whole audience could. In a video essay on Tennant, @davidtennantgenderenvy highlighted how in almost every role he played, there is it is the classic Tennant breakdown moment, and breakdown moment it was. Not with tears, not as expressive as he sometime is but just enough for a King trying to hold it together but fear and guilt breaking through. I was absolutely overwhelmed and it was beautiful. The set up for the scene was amazing too - there were ceilidh, celebrations, I adored the contrast between these fast pasted scenes and guilt ridden whispers of the couple. And the way everyone sat down around the stage and suddenly it looked like a banquet table ? Just perfect.

Another really cool moment, less on the emotional side but more on the visuals was when Macbeth goes to get the second prophecy from the witches. Almost the whole cast is there, running around, moving, almost dancing and it gives the whole thing a mystical atmosphere. There’s smoke, Macbeth falls, is carried up high Jesus style, cowers, rises, it’s so busy and insane all the while there are whispers and whispers in the headphones - it manages perfectly to feel like a mystical moment.

Descent Into Madness & other cool things

For Macbeth, having the kid running around scene after scene, haunting him, and then scene where he kills him - GOD it’s powerful. Lady Macbeth’s descent into madness was so well characterised, I also loved the glass on the background that locked away some of the cast. Just wild. The actor that played Malcom actor was also really cool, and Macduff and Ross, big fan of all of them.

Overall I am overwhelmed with emotions. Tennant is truly one of my favourite actors - from Good Omens to Staged, Jessica Jones, even Harry Potter but also Mad to be Normal, Nativty, There She Goes, Around the World in 80 days, Doctor Who (god I’ve started a list, never start lists cause you’ll forget people) and so, so many more, I was truly beside myself with excitement and expectations for tonight. And it did not disappoint. I do not want to leave the theatre and I pray they release a recording of this because I want it imprinted on my soul.

(Side note: I don’t know how to use tumblr very well, for some reason whenever I try to reply to ppl it posts from my other blog? Anyway @raquel-and-sergio is in fact me)

[god-has-entered-my-body]

ok so now that I’ve traumatised everyone I’m requesting 22 for mpind matty!!

I’m going to sleep let’s hope I don’t dream of ginger roots shaped like butt plugs because!! that would be horrible!! anyways mwah <3

-legend anon🩵

this is sooo old i hope u still wanna see it!! don't remind me of the figging thing im positively gagging and not in a good way. Anyways onto the actually blurb length blurb

22. "Mark me. Mark me so everyone knows who I belong to."

wc: like 1k?? not much, that's for sure

content warnings: not really smut but also kinda, use of the word juxtaposition (soz guys), marking, exhibitionism, sub!Matty, teasing, jealous girlie, typical MPIND Matty cockiness

You're overreacting, you know you are. It's not that serious.

But it is.

Matty stands there, surrounded by people, all of them listening to him telling a story, hands moving erratically to emphasize his words, pausing to let people laugh at his crude humour every few seconds, most of them too drunk to even realise what he was talking about.

That wouldn't be an issue, not normally. The girl next to him is the source of your feeling of unease, hanging onto his every word and getting a bit closer with every giggle, touching his arm while batting her eyelashes, looking up at him sweetly. Something inside of you stirs at the scene, and your legs carry you across the room in direction of Matty, not stopping to think for just a second.

Pushing your way through the circle of people surrounding him, muttering quiet excuses as you walk up to the center where he stood, wrapping an arm around his waist. Matty looks at you, and you take the opportunity to kiss him, right in front of everyone. The girl that was coming onto him visibly rolls her eyes, taking a small step back and turning her attention to her drink, downing it.

A smug smile spreads onto your face as he finishes up his story rather quickly, leaving out key details as you impatiently tug on his shirt, urging him to come with you. Excusing himself, he follows you keenly, knowing exactly what got you like this.

The sound of his back hitting the closed bathroom door is loud, the sounds of his slightly tipsy giggles only making you more aggressive, feeling him up as his hands settle on your waist.

"What do you think you're doing, letting her touch you like that?" you voice is harsh as your nails ghost over his neck, tracing down the hollow of his throat.

"Jealous, are we? Didnt take you for the possessive type." Matty's grin is teasing, and he purposely throws his head back, exposing more skin to you.

"Don't act coy, its pissing me off."

"I only have eyes for you, you know that." he puntucates his sentence with a hand on your chest, softly touching your tits over your top. His movements are measured, fluid, and driving you insane.

"She doesn't know that." you hiss, mouthing at the skin of his neck, nipping and biting it. Matty lets out a satisfied sigh, leaning into the familiar sensation. Your hands find his hair, tugging it back in that way you know he loves, a soft moan spilling from his lips.

"Show her who I belong to then, mark me yours." the way he speaks is low, challenging, almost mocking you for your reaction. You shoot him an annoyed look, his smirk only spurring you on. Your teeth graze over his throat, leaving deep purple hickeys all over his neck, no area remaining untouched.

His strained sounds as you get more and more aggressive make you smile, barely giving him time to breathe between hot kisses full of teeth and tongue, directly followed by those same lips back on his skin sucking dark marks into the skin.

The bright light of the bathroom perfectly illuminates your work, the contrast of the hickeys against his pale skin make your breathing get a bit more shallow than usual, a change that doesn't go unnoticed by Matty.

"Enjoying the view?" he sniggers, cocking his head at you. The expression on your face is one he knows and loves all too well. One of lust. Passion. Adoration.

"Cocky." you mumble, trailing your fingers over his collarbones, pressing down lightly, making him hiss in pain, a filthy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Wanna show me off then, have them all see what you did to me?"

"Don't act like that's only what I want," you pull at his almost fully unbuttoned shirt, toying with the loose buttons. "We both know how much you love belonging to me." Matty goes quiet, his rapid blinking telling you everything you need to know.

"Hm. I need you to answer me, love." you can practically see him light up at the use of the pet name you use sparsely, his eyes soft as he stares into yours, lips parted slightly.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" You taunt, letting your hands cup his face in a sweet manner, a delicious juxtaposition to the condescending way you're speaks to him. Matty takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling slowly, tongue darting out to wet his lips. It's rare that Matty gets even the smallest bit shy, but fuck, do you relish in it when it happens.

"I want people to see me, see how you own me." he smiles down at you, his hands gripping tighter onto your waist, pressing your body flush against his. The soft rumble of his voice goes straight to your core, and you clear your throat, much to Matty's amusement.

"I'm yours." he adds, a delicate finger running over your bottom lip, smudging your stick lipgloss. His nails are chipped with purple nail polish, matching his belt perfectly. His fashion sense is one of the things you love about him, not matter how 'odd' or 'girly' other people find it.

"You're mine." you speak softly, the kiss following mirrors the tenderness between the two of you, your lips moving against each other with devotion, hungrily drinking in each others reactions as they came, echoing off the tacky blue tiles of the bathroom wall.

Matty is proud, grinning wildly as you exit the bathroom, his shirt completely unbuttoned, his jeans so low waisted in was bordering on obscene. The looks the two of you got were mixed.

Some people raked their eyes up and down his body, gaze flicking between you and him before it finally clicked, their head quickly turning away from your direction.

George sees you as well, groaning as he spots the obviously fresh hickeys from across the kitchen counter, clutching the liquor bottle in his left hand. Handing you a mystery drink, he says a few words into your ear.

"Do you have to do that here? I dont want to think about you and him getting it on." George visibly shudders at the thought, shaking is head as if to get the mental image out of it.

"Soz mate, but this is payback for having to listen to your relentless shagging on Halloween." A party Matty had thrown months back for Halloween had led to George hooking up with a girl from your form, the walls proven paper thin as everyone had heard everything. You cringe at the memory, the sight of a few hickeys paling in comparison the the torture you had to endure that night.

George rolls his eyes just in time for Matty to pull you away, wrapping a tattooed arm around your waist, playing with the mesh of your his top.

"Alright?" he asks, pressing an endearing kiss to the corner of your mouth, the smell of wine filling your senses. You nod, intertwining your fingers as the two of you wade through the crowd, and you spot the girl from earlier.

Your body moves faster than your head, and you grab Matty's lower back, turning him to face you. You can feel the girl's eyes on you as you kissing him messily, taking his lower lip between your teeth as he gasps into your mouth.

Her footsteps are aggressive as she walks away, muttering under her breath. You smile against Matty's lips, content with yourself. Finally, you let go of him, your hands lingering on his chest as you trace what you left behind, a hazy feeling clouding your mind.

"Got what you wanted?" his tone is provoking as brown eyes find yours, face flushing a gentle shade of pink. The music is muted as everything blurs around you, the only thing worthy of your attention being the person standing right in front of you.

"You know 'm not done yet." you lean in to him, bringing your lips up to his ear, your breath hot against his skin.

"Far from it, actually. I'm going to show you just how much you need me, no matter how convincing your little display of confidence might me, hm?" his breath hitches at your words, his eyes darting around the room at the dozens of people surrounding you, blissfully unaware of the filthy things you're painting his fantasies with, scenes playing out behind his eyes like a film.

"Meet me outside in five minutes. Say goodbye to your little friend for me, yeah?" with that, you leave him standing there, breathing unsteady and knees weak, threatening to buckle under him.

It doesn't take long before you have him shoved up against the hood of some random car, the darkness of the moonless night concealing you. Matty's moans are like music to your ears, your lips against his getting harsher as seconds pass, feeling for like hours.

"Please, take me home. I need you so badly, please darling, i'll be so, so good for you-" you cut him off his a finger pressed to his pretty pink lips. He wants you, he yearns for you. The way his back arches forward at even the slightest tells you everything you need to know.

Who are you to deny him?

[starkdirewolflove]

Latest episode of X-Men ‘97, wow.

Omg there was so much going on in that episode can’t believe it was only 36 minutes.

Love square of Jean, Scott. Madelyne and Logan. Love triangle of Magneto, Rogue and Gambit, relationship drama galore.

I find it really amusing that Emma Frost has a front row seat to the drama with Jean, Madelyne and Scott like her own personal telenovela. Love that Madelyne has been forging her own path and becoming a part of the council of Genosha.

There’s a reporter doing a documentary about the X-Men and Xavier’s school. I’m a bit confused about Roberto being there. When we first meet him he’s a young rich party boy, heir to a wealthy Brazilian family that can just take a private jet wherever he wants to go and is ashamed and afraid of people, particularly his mother learning he’s a mutant so he leaves after episode one. Then he’s just always at the mansion hanging around with Jubilee and he’s in this documentary about a mutant school. Is he out to his family as a mutant or does he not care who knows anymore? I feel like this should’ve been addressed at some point.

Things are still really rocky with Scott and Jean, I can understand why he blew up at the reporter, she was being really invasive about his personal life and calling him a liar about having a son. And who was that doctor to make any statement about the birth? The bigot refused medical help to a woman in labour. But then he goes and has his psychic affair with Madelyne, dick move. And he’s been doing this since she left while shutting Jean out then turns everything around on her. Like Jean has been traumatised by what Sinister did to her. She doesn’t know how long he had her abducted, what he did while she was his prisoner, her mind is all messed up and on top of that her husband had a baby with her clone who had completely stolen her life (not Madelyne’s fault, this was 100% Sinister’s evil plan) and the only one who is actually supportive and understanding of her pain is Logan, no wonder she kissed him. Good on Logan for not trying to make the kiss into a big deal, Jean and Scott are married and he respects that even though he’s in love with her. The betrayal from Scott was even worse for Jean because their psychic connection has always been sacred between the two of them and her anchor when the Phoenix was overwhelming her and then he disregards all that because he’s in love with Madelyne too supposedly. Like I get their shared grief over having to give up their baby, it doesn’t give him a free pass to cheat on his wife.

Gambit was such a gentleman throughout the whole Rogue and Magento stuff, even though it was breaking his heart to see her with another man he respected her choice, didn’t try to blame or shame her about it and said they can be friends still. Rogue had a really rough time this episode. From the start of this season I felt uncomfortable with this Rogue and Magento pairing but when she explained their history to Gambit it was even worse because it just sounded like grooming and made Magento a creepy sexual predator. So Rogue ran away from home as a teenager after the trauma of putting the first boy she kissed in a coma and being rejected by her dad, gets taken in by Mystique who gets her to use her powers as part of her mutant terrorist group then brings this vulnerable teenage girl who is afraid to touch anyone to a middle aged man to help her control her powers and instead of doing that he fills her head with his ideologies and because he can touch her without it hurting either of them they become lovers. 🤢🤮 so creepy. Magento leverages the council of Genosha that he will only lead them if he can take Rogue as his “Queen” or co leader to the public, so she feels backed into a corner after seeing how amazing things on Genosha were for mutants now. Then after that amazing dance scene she realises that Gambit is the man she truly loves and what they have is more meaningful and goes beyond being able to touch and she chooses her swamp rat only to lose them both by the end of the episode.

The attack on Genosha was brutal but it was so amazingly done. Cable traveling back through time to try and warn everyone about the attack even though it goes against the rules of time travel, seeing Madelyn for a moment, her recognising him as her son by his eyes and him calling her “mom” as he got pulled back through time. The music, the chaos and panic you could literally feel through the screen, Magneto’s holocaust flashbacks, the Morlocks being trapped and thinking no one was coming to save them, Nightcrawler almost dying saving Rogue and Magneto.

Rogue and Gambit were the ultimate power couple fighting their way to the Morlocks, a better dance than the one she had with Magneto. Magneto saving Rogue and Gambit while he tried to shelter the Morlocks from the sentinel blast, so tragic. Then Gambit saves Rogue from getting herself killed by attacking the sentinel in a rage, takes it on by himself to save everyone and destroys it but sacrificing his own life in the process 😭.

The tragedy is they foreshadowed this in the first episode when Jean/Madelyne went into Trask’s mind and then both Jean and Madelyne got a psychic premonition of the attack just before it happened but were unable to do anything to stop it.

When the dust settles at the end you see the X-Men witness the aftermath of the attack, the few surviving mutants gather around the crater where Rogue is cradling Remy’s body. She’s finally able to touch him but only because he’s dead. “Sugah. I can’t feel you.” 💔

That killed me at the end, was so shocked that they killed Magneto and Gambit within minutes of each other. I know they probably won’t be dead forever but fuck that was brutal.

I know next week’s episode is gonna be Storm centric so we’ll probably have to wait 2 weeks to see what happens with the rest of the X-Men and hopefully by then Storm is ready to rejoin the team. There was a moment in the Genosha attack where Val Cooper is helping evacuate mutants to the gardens and she looks back at the sentinels and there’s this look in her eye that made me wonder is she Val Cooper or Mystique in disguise? We haven’t seen Mystique in the show so far but what if she’s been there all along? Maybe she was afraid of being exposed as an imposter by the sentinels because they’d know she’s not human.

[lemon-natalia]

Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 52

Augustine & Mercy are having a very intense convo about how they just murdered GOD and are dooming themselves, and Gideon 1.0, Gideon 2: Electric Boogaloo, and Ianthe are just … standing there

oh shit and Dominicus is gonna die and become a black hole? i mean given there’s a whole other book not sure where this is gonna go, maybe he was lying to everyone about that as well?

when Ianthe of all people is the one advocating to try and save people out of the goodness of her heart, you know you’re fucked

‘Well, Augustine, there’s something you should know’ could someone please say something in this series that isn’t ridiculously cryptic. also i totally forgot this guy was wearing Gid’s sunglasses the whole time lol

OH WAIT THE BITCH IS BACK. i knew it was too good to be true 

also YIKES poor Mercy, she was not my favourite character but god she did not deserve that

also ah. hm. the above comment did not age well

oh this guys whole persona has just shifted. He’s still got that kinda irreverent jokiness & affability but he’s also evidently very pissed off, a lot less ‘lets have tea’ and more ‘do what i say or get fucked’

'then he looked at us, gave a crooked half smile’ ohhhh he has the same. fucking. crooked smile. that Gideon has in the BARI-star dream what the fuck

and he WAS the one who ordered Gideon-Part-1 to kill Harrow, for fucks sake. at least Harrow had Ortus be nice to her briefly cuz she’s three for three on her other parental figures trying to kill her at some point 

Gideon found out her bio dad is GOD, saw him die, saw him come back to live naked, and now found out he tried to kill her (kinda maybe its complicated) girlfriend. thats just ... so many different levels of traumatising

also i keep forgetting Gideon is literally looking like Harrow for all of this

GIDEON 1.0 ISN’T GIDEON, ITS PYRRHA DVE HIS CAV?!?!? yknow what so much else is going on rn i barely have the capacity to process that

and she was also sleeping with Commander Wake, was everyone just fucking eachother????? and i thought the love quadrangle in the last book was complicated. i’m guessing she shot Wake to stop her from potentially revealing the whole ‘i’m actually alive’ thing to the Emperor then?

also wow there’s a lot of consent issues being raised in the last couple chapters and this one, not just with dios apate major, but also like … you’re having sex with someone while possessing someone else’s body without their knowledge, but also also its the only body you have because they (presumably) killed you to absorb your soul. like what.

the drama and vast existential horror of this scene is only mildly undercut by the fact that the Emperor is having this crazy fight wearing only what is essentially an opalescent bathrobe

also why are there fucking TEETH at the bottom of the River? and Tongues?? and it thinks he’s a Resurrection Beast? i feel like there’s so much more to the River that we haven’t uncovered yet

and Augustine wasn’t wrong with what he said wayy before, the Emperor really did grant him more leniency than he did Mercy, at least he gave him a chance before murdering him

also cmon Ianthe you’re really gonna save that guy, really?

'Hands pressed. We died’ AGAIN?? i mean at least this time there’s a chance for her to come back given she’s done it once before?? also i do not know what to make of her seeing Alecto before she dies at all

[cooligas]

I feel like y’all don’t understand that the roots of Aemond being an evil mf, is bc he was bullied as a child and the adults didn’t care enough. Him losing an eye and never getting justice worsened him and he doesn’t want to appear weak EVER AGAIN. The last time he did (brothel scene) he got mocked AGAIN by his brother.

���I don’t understand what did Alicent do to him for him to act like that towards her”

First he was raised with misogynistic ideas around him (his mother being a victim of it and a misogynist at the same time) so ofc he will look down on women. Second, yes she was the one who stood up for him when he lost his eye but she literally allowed Aegon to bully him as long as it’s not in public, at the same time. He’s also frustrated because she didn’t condone what happened to Luke and didn’t want him to be part of the green council to begin with.

Mostly and most importantly ; she is the person he loves the most. Love = weakness to him. Hence the fact that he’s the only main character with zero love interest btw (for the moment). She’s the personification of all the feelings he can’t bare to express anymore.

“I don’t understand why he burned Aegon”

Aemond is basically a teenager (important to remember that) who is impulsive (he regrets the shit he did to luke) and has anger issues. He attacks people who hurt him and the people he loves (bc yes, he does love). He has conflicted feelings for Aegon because of all the shit he did to him. He e wants the throne not really for himself but to win the war at all costs, because his mother always told them that the family would be in danger if team black was ruling. Also to show that he is capable of great things (he claimed the biggest dragon to show that he isn’t a weak bullied kid) and that he is better than Aegon.

His brother never showed real affection towards him (him allowing Aemond to be part of the green council was pure strategy since he has Vhagar) and spent most of his life degrading him and bullying him. Y’all also forget that he is the reason he’s sexually traumatised bc he allowed him to get sexually abused. Aemond has more reasons to hate Aegon than to love him. We legit have zero scene of them being lovely brothers to each others btw.

The whole “I’m strong and nothing and nobody scares me” is just a facade. Look at the way he tried his hardest not to look at alicent (or cry but you didn’t hear that from me) when she talked to him on episode 6 bc he knows his mask would fall off. It’s a shield he uses to protect himself and to never show weakness bc he doesn’t want to be mocked and hurt anymore.

Aemond genuinely didn’t seem like a bad kid before losing his eye. He was sympathetic, he still felt empathy (towards Helaena, Jace during the funerals). If he had been raised with kindness, and was not being filled with filthy ideas against women or his nephews by his MOTHER, if his father slightly gave a f about him and his siblings and if people actually cared about him being bullied and him losing an eye, he would’ve been a normal human being.

[youbutstupid]

screaming and crying on the floor over emily and spencer's development between 2x17 and the linda barns era

OH thank you anon so much I could take about them for HOURS.

Something that so many people get wrong, and I’m glad you didn’t, is that Reid did not hate Emily from the beginning; like you said, it started from 2x17. When Emily first starts, he is actually repeatedly assigned to her and he seems perfectly happy and welcoming to her, we even get to see them in the physics magic scene develop this cute dynamic they have. This all, of course, goes away after Reid becomes addicted.

I really don’t think he hated Emily at all, I think that he hated the optimism that she still seemed to have due to her being new to the team, because he used to be optimistic too before it got stripped from him. In the episodes where he is standoffish with her, he is not only deeply traumatised but going through severe withdrawals (in 2x17, we see him scratching at his skin and becoming irritated at all the noises around him, he also looks pale and doesn’t seem to be taking in what’s around him), so with his resentment is also frustration just from being generally uncomfortable.

But, as Reid gets better, so does his relationship with Emily, to the point where she ends up becoming one of his best friends and greatest confidants. We see how much they care about eachother when they are held hostage in 4x03, him getting excited about Halloween with her, her being the only one he tells about his headaches and him asking her to go see a Russian film with her, where we get this gorgeous interaction:

Emily: Reid, thank you

Reid: for what?

Emily: for being you

Reid: aw thanks, I don’t know how to be anyone else

Emily: yeah, that’s what I love about you

He mourns her so much when she ‘dies’ but also she’s oddly one of the first people he forgives when she comes back. She ends up becoming one of her biggest protectors and this goes on to when she is unit chief. She constantly encourages him to open up about his feelings and tells him she’s proud of him for doing so. She purposely got rid of evidence so that she could protect him during his trial. She never stopped caring about him and he genuinely loved her so much. People often credit Morgan and Hotch as Reid’s protectors, and whilst they are amazing, Emily deserves that title so much.

[hsvh-hp]

You know I agree with you that fanon paints Lucius as a much worse father than he was and I don't like that either, but do you not think indoctrinating your child into a genocidal cult + coldly demanding that he be the best in class and publicly humiliating him about that ("if [my son's] grades don't pick up, a thief or a plunderer] may indeed be all he is fit for") is bad parenting?

Like I'm not saying "he is a bad parent" or "he is a good parent", I'm very hesitant to label parents (real or fictional) in such a one-dimensional way because parent-child relationships are so incredibly complicated. But at the same time it is very important to me to acknowledge even little things parents can do that can really have a negative impact on children. And indeed in Draco's case they do, leading him to want to be a Death Eater, to seek validation from Voldemort (when he disarms Dumbledore he talks about wanting to be the Dark Lord's favourite, he doesn't want help from Snape because he has a need to prove himself etc) and contributing to his general insecurity and need to be better than everyone & getting upset when he's not, because if he's not the best all the time then he feels really bad.

One big reason I dislike the fanon tendency to make every morally questionable parent an extremely physically abusive monster is precisely because that erases the representation of how the smaller, psychologically/emotionally damaging things they do can still be traumatising.

It goes without saying that there’s nuance. I would never say nor claim that Lucius did nothing wrong or didn’t make mistakes. By mere virtue of holding bigoted beliefs, he signaled to Draco that there were things he could do or be that might undermine his father’s love. To me, it doesn’t even matter if Lucius is otherwise perfect as a father. That small thing, in a kid as needy for love and validation as Draco is, would be enough to have him always on edge and anxiously performing his role as the perfect son to the best of his ability.

My earlier frustration was a pushback against the need to inflate Lucius’ less-great moments into overtly obvious abuse (we are very much in agreement there), as fanon seems to love to do without a hint of introspection or greater analysis. I’m so bored of complicated behaviour being filed away into a thought-terminating box called ‘abuse’, where a sole instance of someone being a grumpy, imperfect dad (the Borgin & Burke’s scene) is all that’s required to put a character on the same level as men who actually do beat their sons. It’s not given a greater thought.

For instance, you bring up Draco’s indoctrination into the Death Eaters, and his eagerness to join. This is a very interesting conundrum for Lucius to me because Voldemort is back for an entire year before Draco signs up. Lucius is in Azkaban at the time, unable to exert any influence over Draco’s decision, and Voldemort explicitly brings Draco into the fold as a form of punishment for Lucius. We have no access to Lucius’ head as readers, but he had an entire year afterward to sit and think about how he failed Draco. He’s a smart guy. I’m sure he could put it together that his bigotry came very close to costing his son his life. Considering the Malfoys sit alongside the winners of the war in the Great Hall, it speaks to me of some greater narrative reflection on Lucius’ part to have earned himself a place there.

The point is, I’ve never seen that Lucius in fic before. I crave that Lucius, who can realize his mistakes and grow or change as a result (and is brave enough not to let the lateness of its arrival dictate the terms). It’s very important to me that growth not be something exclusive to a certain age (16 and under? 18? I’ve seen people argue that Draco was no longer redeemable at 12 LMAO). So yeah, feeling alone in this sentiment occasionally bubbles up and I forget to articulate all the nuance of the subject when engaging with it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[xxx-silhouette-xxx]

Am I the only one disappointed with season 3 of The Mandalorian?

Contains SPOILERS - so skip if you don’t wanna know

Tonight was, painful.

I’ve REALLY been trying to hang on with an open mind but after tonight, there’s no going back.

And I’ve got some things to get off my chest.

Din Djarin has had NO character development from the sacrifice he made for Grogu’s life. This has been inarguably, the biggest disappointment for me. I was hoping for a season of exploration of a man’s moral compass and worldview being hauled upside down, a young boy who’d been orphaned, traumatised and taken in by a cult that raised him with titanium religious beliefs. Who grew into a hardened bounty hunter but gave up everything he knew for the sake of a lost child. Became shunned for protecting said child and despite doing what he felt was right, strived to seek redemption and forgiveness. There was so much potential for Din as a character in terms of growth and development, all of which was swept under a rug within the first two episodes. He has instead become apart of Disney’s formula of “the boss ladies side bitch” with nothing to add to the scene but his catchphrase “this is the way”. That and the sudden revival of his hate for droids even though he had been working on that issue in past seasons.

Grogu is more or less the commodity Disney grew cash dollar signs in their eyes over for the sake of product marketing and just have him doing cutesy shit for the sake of being cutesy.

And then there’s Bo Katan.

Now disclaimer - I’m not the type that hates an actual person for a character they play. Yes, I’ve never liked Bo Katan (that much I’ve made clear in recent posts) but I also think that Katee Sackhoff does a brilliant job playing a character as such. And to see her come to life in season 2 was incredible and to me, Bo Katan from season two is the REAL Bo Katan.

Because I’m sure as hell disappointed with what they’ve done to her character in season 3. Bo Katan was a terrorist who broke away from Mandalore unable to accept a new direction in leadership from her own sister. She massacred and terrorised innocent people, she plotted towards the death of her sister, splintered off from her terrorist group after the throne of Mandalore was taken by Maul and continued to fight against his loyalists and later the empire itself.

And we all saw the look of death on her face when Gideon pointed out that the dark Sabre belonged to Din

This isn’t someone I was rooting for but this was someone who didn’t know when to give up and would go to any means possible to get what they wanted. This is the same woman who made an oath in the throne room of Mandalore, saying that an outsider would never rule the people. The odds were against her in many ways yet she still fought like hell…. Where is that woman? And who replaced her with Disney’s first emo teen princess whose suddenly forgotten her xenophobic upbringing?

And as for Lizzo and Jack Black’s appearances in episode six?

My partner said it best when he commented that they turn the whole show into a parody of itself.

Personally, I found Christopher Loyd’s character as flat as cardboard and an absolutely pointless goose chase used to build up momentum all to throw away the opportunity for a twist ending.

It really breaks my heart to see the series diminish into what it has. The whole reason people fell in love with the show was due to Din and Grogu’s father son dynamic and that’s all been thrown to the side in favour of other characters, setting up for the future of other shows and tying off the ends to the sequels.

Season three completely lacks the drive and purpose of the previous seasons.

It should and could have been so much more than what it is.

And Din Djarin deserved more depth in his story then to be abandoned to the side lines.

[mazzystar24]

bestie im starting to feel like we aren’t getting buddie after the mess that was tonight’s episode… this just gives anti-eddie people more material to bash us with and it also means a bunch if buddie fans are about to jump ship bc eddie’s a cheater… i’m losing faith in tim minear this feels very character-death-y

Hi anon!

This episode in my eyes just killed whatever 5% of me that still wasn’t fully sure that Marisol would be written off and now I’m 100% that bitch edy is on her way out so small victories

This episode was neither here nor there on the buddie front but it did have the domestic scene obviously and also the potential for Eddie dealing with why he wants a mother for Chris so bad could be a great way to get buddie even if they’re going about it in a very odd and kinda🙃 way

As for it being character death or Eddie being a cheater it may just be because like I wanna go into psychology so I do tend to look at things from all perspectives and like empathise with more things that make others be like..no- but the way I see it grief makes people do fucked up shit, it doesn’t make it okay but it makes it understandable and worth noting, and he hasn’t slept with her yet (and I doubt he will) so right now it’s sorta a grey area between cheating and emotional cheating, like for me I would defend him so hard if people try to bash him for this (unless they do go a complete shit route but again Tim loves these characters sm I doubt he would ever do that) because he’s dealt with so much trauma and shit over the years that it’s understandable to be flawed and do shitty things occasionally and now he runs into this woman who’s the mirror image of his dead wife? No one can say how they’d react in that situation

Again I’m not saying I like this storyline or that cheating is okay if you’re traumatised but what I’m saying is that it’s pretty far from character death like hen cheated on Karen with her ex because they had history and it was complicated and she was in a weird place and people found a way to forgive her and look past that and buck kissed Lucy due to his underlying issues and we got past that and I think that if any circumstance makes emotional cheating understandable it’s seeing someone who’s the split image of your dead wife

Tim minear I still trust you but I am side eyeing you - like if you were driving a car rn and I was in the passenger seat, I wouldn’t hop out and call an Uber but my hand would be inching toward the Jesus handle because you’re scaring me sometimes

Thanks anon🫶

[onecinder]

The meaning behind soup in Brokeback Mountain

Okay after rewatching the soup scenes like 10 times and reading old forum posts I just really need to talk about this. (Said forum: https://ennisjack.com/forum/index.php?topic=812.0)

Prophetic soup - it foreshadowed the ending

Ennis outwardly said he’s alright with beans but Jack bitches about the beans and so Ennis relents. This reveals so much: one, Jack might be dealt a crappy hand but he won’t just lie back and accept it, and two, Ennis really wants to please Jack. (Or rather, Ennis is drawn in by his natural desire (aka gayness) — Jack in this case is the natural desire. So by going with Soup, he’s giving in to that.)

Jack may bitch about things but unlike normal complaining, he actually does something about it. He told Ennis quite firmly, ‘no more beans’. Even though soup is so much harder to pack. Jack will still take the risk.

This is important because it ties into what the story explores — like, chances are, if they had actually chosen beans instead of soup, the food wouldn’t all be ruined from a small fall after the bear scared the mules away. But because the soup wasn’t packaged as well, it was ruined. If only they had chosen the easier option, it would have surely led to the food’s survival. This is literally an analogy of Ennis and Jack’s situation — Jack won’t accept the hand that’s dealt to him so he chooses the harder path (loving Ennis and pursuing a proper life with him, no more sneaking around) but obviously that led to his death (well, the circumstances are intentionally ambiguous but you get the point.) But this soup and bean situation definitely foreshadowed the unfortunate ending.

It's a euphemism

See this quote of Ennis’s: “I never eat soup.” The Basque said this in response, with a raised eyebrow: “It’s too early in the summer to be sick of beans.” Could ‘soup’ be a euphemism for something else? Just for the sake of this analysis I’ll define euphemism: a euphemism is basically a gentler, more proper way of saying something nasty — in this case, ‘soup’ could be a euphemism for homosexuality. Ennis says is pretty harshly, too, or maybe he’s just trying to convince himself — he could be saying, “I’m not queer.” YET HE ORDERS THE SOUP ANYWAY. BECAUSE JACK WANTS IT AND LET’S BE HONEST, HE WANTS IT TOO, EVERYONE’S SICK OF BEANS, it’s just that he can let it slide while Jack will NOT.

Soup and beans are really the only thing on the menu. They just have to deal with that. But it's 'too early in the summer' and at the end of the summer they return to their 'normal diet' aka heteronormativity. Women on the menu, not men. (Forgive that wording)

Ennis's care

Okay, now onto the most obvious thing it's trying to imply.

It's just Ennis showing his care for Jack. Jack is always the one making the moves and trying to further their relationship because he's:

Not traumatised by the hate crimes against gay people that Ennis saw as a child, and

His personality makes him less afraid of the consequences of being openly queer than Ennis. His desire to be his true self is also probably stronger than Ennis -- we see him not just try to pursue a life with Ennis but also attempt to do it with other men after he saw Ennis wasn't going to budge (which is another example of him not accepting the crappy hand life deals him while Ennis just settles for it every time -- "if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it")

But Ennis shows his care much more subtly. For example, being willing to take soup for Jack and 'taking the blame' when the trader chides him for choosing the hard option by saying that he was the one who was tired of beans.

Also, how willing he was to switch over to be the one monitoring the sheep up there in the mountains instead of jack.

Buuut these last few points are pretty obvious to anyone who watches so i'm not going to elaborate more on that, I just needed to get this out of my system.

Complainers never win

I really love how the soup is just an analogy for their life situation. And Jack's always complaining, yes, but he wants to DO something about it. For example, he is the one who his son's school hates because he 'complains too much' (his words) and that's why it's always Lureen who has to call. He acknowledges this himself.

He is the one who brings up worries about his son's possible dyslexia (in the short story, not in the movie) and pushing for a better tutor, medication, anything that might help Bobby live a better life.

So, yes. He's a big complainer. But instead of being a brat, in reality he's just identifying problems and trying to sort them out. That's just the type of guy he is.

...And look where that got him. It really says something about the story. That's why I think the ending suited them perfectly even though it was so, so painful and I and many other fans would definitely feel better if it was happier.