#I’m sure a bunch of peeps already think of it but I just did

[hyperfixatedimagines]

Home for the Holidays Chapter 2

Summary: Your family didn't take your coming out well....and instead of spending the holiday alone you join your roommate for Christmas dinner. While Aemond wishes you set your sights on his sister Helaena, your tastes skew much older. 

A/N: This chapter is not quite as smutty as I may have promised so I apologize but hope you all still enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!

A/N 2: I also apologize for the massive massive delay but as always I appreciate those of you who've stuck around patiently waiting. Happy Holidays!

You walked into the study, and revealed yourself as the peeping tom. 

“Oh it’s you,” Alicent said, a bit of surprise in her voice. 

“I’m so sorry Alicent. I just couldn’t sleep so I came down for a drink of water then I saw the lights on and wondered who else was up but then I heard you crying and tried to leave you alone but then you heard me so I-,” you rambled, your face getting warmer with every word that left your lips. 

Alicent put a hand up to quiet you. 

It worked. 

“It’s alright (y/n)," she said, her voice a bit hoarse.

You noted her eyes looked tired but her smile was just as warm as it had been earlier. 

“I’ll uh- leave you to it then,” you said sheepishly.

You turned to leave but Alicent called out to you. 

“Won't you join me for a drink?” 

You turned back to her, eyebrows raised. “Are you sure?” 

Alicent nodded. 

“Only if you want to though,” she added. 

“I do,” you replied. 

So you walked over to where Alicent stood. 

You sat down in the armchair opposite her in front of the fireplace. 

“Pick your poison,” Alicent said and gestured to the bar cart next to her. 

You eyed the options she had in the cart. Nothing you really liked but you didn’t want to be rude. So you went with the drink you least hated out of the alcohol she had available. 

“I’ll do just two fingers of whiskey,“ you told her. 

Alicent raised her brows. “I didn’t peg you for a whiskey girl.“ 

You smirked. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” 

Alicent chuckled. “That is true.”

Then she turned to the bar cart and started to pour your drink. 

You cleared your throat. “Is it alright if I ask why you were crying?” 

Alicent finished pouring your whiskey. 

Then she handed it over to you. You took it. 

Alicent leaned back in her seat. “It’s not some big secret. My family can be...a lot, but the estate is so lonely when they aren’t all here. I get a little emotional when they leave.” 

"I get that," you said, then took a sip of the whiskey. 

It was horrendous but you did your best to hide your disgust. 

You figured you didn’t hide it well enough by the laugh that escaped Alicent’s lips. 

Your face went hot with embarrassment. 

Alicent quickly recovered and changed the topic. “So, why couldn’t you sleep?” 

You set the glass of whiskey aside. “It’s a bit pathetic really,” you replied without meeting her gaze. 

Alicent frowned. “I’m sure it’s not...but I won’t pry if you don’t wish to share.” 

You looked over at the fire, and got lost in the crackling flames before you answered. Alicent watched you, rapt.

“It’s my family. I checked my mother’s social media and she already has a bunch of vacation photos up.” 

Alicent nodded softly. “I can imagine that hurt to see.” 

You met her gaze. “It did, but what really hurt was that she didn’t even acknowledge a family member was missing. In one of the captions it said it was good to have the ‘whole family’ there.” 

You felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes again so you turned away from Alicent and blinked them away. 

"That’s so awful. I don’t understand how a mother could do that to her daughter. I can’t even imagine doing that with Aegon...and you know how he is," Alicent replied then took a long drink. 

You let out a small laugh and turned back to face her.

She set her drink on her lap and laughed along.

The pain in your chest dissipated hearing Alicent’s laugh. 

You smiled. 

“Thank you,” you told her. 

She tilted her head to the side. “Whatever for?” 

“It hurts less, being here with you,” you confessed. 

When you realized what you had said you quickly added, “- With your family, I mean.”

This time it was Alicent who blushed. She looked down at the drink in her hands. “You say the sweetest things (y/n).” 

Butterflies started to tickle your nerves. No funny or witty retort formed in your mind. So you just smiled. 

Alicent looked back up at you, and smiled back. 

It started to get quiet as neither of you knew what to say next. 

Once again it was Alicent who broke the silence.

“How is Aemond doing at uni? He tells me he’s doing well but I know my little dragon. I worry about him. He’s never been one to have many friends,” Alicent said as she swirled the alcohol around in her glass. 

You took a steadying breath. “He’s doing alright. He’s a really nice guy.” 

Alicent nodded without looking up from her glass. “That’s good. I’ve always hoped he would be. Does he have a girlfriend?”

 You shook your head. “Not that I know of, and Aemond and I tell each other everything.” 

“I see,” she replied, then looked up at you. “You know, the first time I saw you in the background during a facetime call I hoped you were his girlfriend.” 

You laughed. “Me? Really?” 

Alicent laughed along with you. “Yes, I guess I just hoped he had someone caring for him y’know?” 

You nodded. “I do."

"Besides, you seemed like a nice girl and I thought we would get along well," she added, a tinge of pink in her cheeks. 

"I don't think Aemond would classify me as a nice girl,” you said with a laugh. 

Alicent took another drink, but she smiled as she peered over her glass and looked at you. “Is that so?”

“I don’t think Aemond would be my type, if I was into men, or I his in all honesty,” you replied and shrugged. 

Alicent’s smile slowly disappeared, and was replaced by slightly pursed lips. She eyed you up and down before looking back down at the amber liquid in her glass. She cleared her throat.

Your gaze shot back towards her. 

“What is your type?” She asked, swallowing hard.

Your eyes narrowed a bit at the question.

Why would she want to know? Is she flirt- No. She’s just making conversation, you thought to yourself.

“I guess I have a tendency to go for older women,” you revealed, trying your best not to give away that you only had one older woman in mind.

She met your gaze, and you didn’t dare look away.You didn’t dare take a breath. 

There was something in her gaze, you couldn’t read it, and you didn’t want her to stop looking at you. 

But she did. 

Alicent looked away and took another drink. “How did you and uhm- how did you and Aemond become friends?”

You slowly let out the breath you had held. 

“Uhm…,” you began, trying to collect your thoughts. “We had the same history class freshman year. He was this annoying kid in class that would correct the professor whenever there was the smallest inaccuracy or inconsistency. It drove everyone crazy but I thought it was hilarious.He was a total nerd and I found it ridiculously endearing.” 

Alicent smiled. “That sounds like my Aemond.” 

You nodded. “Then we got paired up for a history project and we just got to talking. We bonded over the way our families can be...a lot.” 

Alicent looked at you with raised brows. “I see.” 

You sat up, afraid you had offended her. “Not like in a bad or good way, just that with money comes high expectations.” 

Alicent nodded. “Of course (y/n), I understand more than you could imagine.” 

You sat back in the armchair and took another sip of your whiskey. “I don’t doubt it...what are eldest daughters if not slaves to the family name, right?” 

The whiskey didn’t taste as gross this time so you took another drink.

Alicent gazed at the burning fire. She sighed. 

“Exactly,” she whispered. 

"Sorry for being so dour,” you said and downed the rest of the whiskey. 

Alicent did the same and finished off her glass. “Don’t be. I haven’t had someone to talk to like this since…” She trailed off.

“Since your husband passed?,” you guessed.

Alicent nodded slowly. “Yes..”

“Aemond mentioned you used to be very involved in your late husband’s political campaigns. Do you have plans to get back into that?”

Alicent exhaled loudly and ran a hand through her messy auburn hair. “That’s a great question…” 

Then Alicent sank into her seat and let her head rest against the back of the armchair. 

“I’m actually having trouble figuring out what to do now that I’m a widow. It feels like my whole life I’ve lived for what others wanted of me. First, what my father wanted. Then what Viserys and the children needed from me,” Alicent mused. “I have no idea what I actually want..”

You stared at Alicent. 

She looks so lonely, you thought. Does she open up like this to everyone, you wondered. Or is she like this only with me?

“Do you want to start a new career? Or take up a new hobby? Maybe…get back out there and date,” you asked, paying great attention to how she would react to your last words.

Alicent sat up and let out a chuckle. “God no, I mean….” 

Then she looked down at her empty glass. “I wouldn’t know what to say or do,” Alicent tucked a stray lock behind her ear, “I doubt I’d have suitors clamoring for me at my age.”

You frowned. “You can’t possibly think that.”

Alicent shrugged. “I’m not much to look at I’m afraid.”

She’s not serious, you thought, how could someone so beautiful not know they’re a gift to us all?

“Alicent you are without a doubt the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” you blurted out.

Your stomach dropped. Had you really said that? Out loud?

Alicent’s gaze shot up to meet yours. Blush once again tinted her cheeks pink. “You’re very kind (y/n),” Alicent replied.

“It’s not kindness Alicent, it’s the truth,” you replied. 

Before she could respond with something tragically self deprecating again you continued on.

“I know for a fact you would have hordes of men knocking down your door just for the chance to take you out to dinner,” you rambled as you fingered the rim of your glass anxiously.

You felt emboldened by her gracious acceptance of your flattery but you weren’t sure how far she’d like you take it…if she wanted you to take it beyond flattery.

Alicent laughed softly. “I don’t know about that.”

Your eyes flitted to her lips. You swallowed hard.

You wanted to know…you needed to know.

“I’d be at your door,” you professed and looked up to meet her gaze.

Alicent’s gaze felt hot. “Really?” She asked.

“In a heartbeat,” you replied, the thrumming of your own heart pulsed in your ears. 

 Alicent bit the inside of her cheek as her eyes raked over you. “Are you seeing anyone (y/n)?”

You shook your head softly. “No.”

You didn’t trust yourself to say much more, afraid your voice would crack under the nerves that ate away at your insides.

“I wouldn’t have guessed it, you’re such a charmer,” she said, with a playful smirk on her lips.

 The thrumming dropped from your heart to between your thighs.

Desire bloomed in the words left unsaid by Alicent’s darkened gaze.

You sat up in the armchair and cleared your throat, hoping to regain some semblance of control over yourself. “The girls at school aren’t really my type.”

Alicent nodded. “Right, you like older women.” She set her glass aside then leaned back in her seat. "So what age is just right for you then?” Alicent asked as she crossed her legs. 

Her nightgown rode up just past her knee, just enough to give you a glimpse at her thigh. 

You swallowed hard and looked away. "That uhm- it uh-," you stuttered, the sneak peak at Alicent's thigh lingered in your mind. 

Alicent sat forward and put her hands on her knee. "Would a woman like me be too old?" She held your gaze, and you noted that her irises had darkened much since dinner. 

"N-n-no," you blurted, your brain had short circuited from the drastic change in Alicent’s demeanor. 

Alicent smirked once more. “Am I making you nervous (y/n)?”

Your face felt feverish. You smiled sheepishly and ran your sweaty palms down your thighs. “Oh uhm I-,” you stuttered. 

Then you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

When you opened them you realized Alicent was staring at you, smiling.

She was toying with you…Alicent was no longer just making conversation.

Two could play that game, you thought.

You swallowed hard and composed yourself. 

“You do make me nervous Alicent. You’re exactly my type, after all,” you replied earnestly.

You watched as Alicent’s brows raised then she blushed and looked down at her hands. 

"Oh, I-," she replied, her breath just above a whisper. 

You smiled triumphantly. You just had to keep telling yourself that Alicent was no different than the other women you had flirted with, and who had flirted with you, countless nights at the bars in town.

Alicent shifted in her seat, you noted the way she pressed her legs closer together and smoothed her nightgown down. 

She didn't meet your gaze again.

Your heart dropped. 

Had you read things all wrong? 

You panicked. 

“I’m such an idiot,” you said under your breath. 

Alicent furrowed her brows. “Did you say something?” 

You swallowed hard. “I’m sorry Alicent. I didn’t...I didn’t think that my words might be uncomfortable for you,” you rambled. “I’ll leave. I’m sorry,” you continued and stood from your chair. 

You turned towards the door and started to move but Alicent reached out and gripped your wrist. 

You turned back to meet her gaze. 

“Stay…for another drink, please,” she uttered. 

She let go of your wrist and you slowly sat back down. 

This time she did not ask you what you wanted to drink. Instead she busied herself with the drinks and liquors. She picked the shaker up and proceeded to mix the cocktail she had prepared. Then she poured it into a clean glass and handed it to you. 

Your fingers briefly grazed hers as the glass traded hands. 

It only served to flame the kindling desires inside you.

You took a sip of the drink. She had poured you something sweet, but it was still quite strong. 

“This is delicious,” you said, your eyes looking at her from above the rim of the glass. 

Alicent cleared her throat and turned to pour herself another drink. “How did things go with Helaena? I noticed the way she took to you after dinner.You said you talked but it looked like more than that.” 

You furrowed your brows as you took another sip. You needed liquid courage. 

“That? She was just being nice. She congratulated me for being brave and sharing my story at dinner,” you explained then took another drink of the cocktail Alicent had mixed for you. You continued. “I told Aemond and Aegon I don’t think Helaena is gay. She’s just a very nice girl,” you finished. 

Alicent turned to you with a new drink in her hands. She took a sip before resting it on her thigh. “That she is...it’s a shame though,” she stated. 

You tilted your head to the side, unable to read her. “A shame?” 

Alicent swirled her drink in her glass. “Mhm, I would’ve liked seeing you around more often if you had dated Helaena.” She took a long drink. 

You looked down into your own glass and smiled. The thrumming in your chest returned. “I’ll just have to find another reason to stop by and share your company then,” you declared then looked back up at her. 

Alicent held your gaze, her eyes curious and piercing. “You could be in any woman’s company, why bother with mine?” 

You set your glass on the small table to the left of your armchair. You thought about how to respond. 

She was your best friend's mother and you knew you couldn’t have her but…you wanted her nonetheless. 

So you returned your gaze to her and told her the truth. “Because yours is the company I desire.” 

Alicent did not look away and neither did you. 

The world seemed to come to a standstill. 

The way Alicent looked at you...if she was anyone else your lips would have been against hers in a matter of seconds.

But she wasn’t anyone else. 

She was your best friend’s mother. 

So you couldn’t assume. 

She had to initiate. She had to show you that she wanted this too.

Alicent’s gaze drifted down to your lips. 

She bit her lips as she stared and it almost sent you over the edge, the best friend code be damned. 

Then she heaved a large sigh and turned towards the bar cart. 

“Would you like another drink?”  Alicent fiddled with various bottles before she stood. “Oh god, I forgot the grenadine.” 

Then she walked to the full size bar at the far corner of the study. 

You turned in your seat and watched as her hands shook, picking the grenadine up from the rack of mixes. 

Had you misread things again? 

No, you were convinced something was there. There was a spark between the two of you. 

One you could not light and Alicent seemed hesitant to do so. 

So you stood and walked to her side. You stopped when you felt Alicent’s back against your chest. 

“I have another confession to make,” you whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. 

Your hands itched to reach out and touch her. 

Part of you knew you would have to make the first move. A woman like Alicent, with no experience with women, would not be the one to initiate.

 Alicent looked at you through the reflection in the mirror on the wall of the bar. 

She swallowed. “What is it?” 

You noted her voice was a little hoarse, dry and raw.

So you leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear.

“Something I’ve wanted to tell you since the moment I laid eyes on you...but if it would be unwelcome just say the word and I will go back to the guest room and we can pretend this conversation never happened.” 

Being so close to her you smelled her intoxicating scent of cinnamon and vanilla. You had no doubt it was from an expensive perfume. 

Alicent stared at you through the mirror, indecision and desire plain on her face. 

“Say it,” she finally whispered. 

“I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you and never stop. I want to kiss you until my lungs burn and my lips bruise,” you confessed, your voice thick with desire. 

Alicent gasped. 

She whipped around to face you.

Her chest pressed against yours. 

The heat of her breath warmed your chest. 

She looked between the two of you, at the lack of space.

Then she met your gaze. 

She nodded ever so slightly.

That was enough for you.

You leaned in slowly, giving her enough time to change her mind if she truly did not want to kiss you.

Her lips were full and ruby red. You wanted nothing more than to devour her then and there. 

Butterflies burst in your chest. 

She wasn’t just any woman. She was Alicent. 

And you did not want to break whatever spell the universe had cast. 

Alicent closed her eyes as her lips neared yours. 

You did the same when you felt the warmth of her breath on your lips.

Soft and yielding, were your first thoughts when your lips touched hers. 

She cupped your face and pulled you closer. 

You reached out and put your hands on her hips. 

The thumping of your heart rang in your ears.

Alicent parted her lips and you let out a low moan when your tongue met hers. 

No thought formed in your mind and all you could do was relish the feel of Alicent’s lips against your own. 

But soon your lungs ached for air and sweat beaded off your forehead. 

You did not want to part from her. You knew that if you did the spell would be broken. 

Even worse, you feared that Alicent would ask you to forget such a kiss even took place. 

So you continued to kiss her, your lungs be damned. You pulled her hips towards you and pressed them against your own. 

The fire in your lungs could only be matched by the throbbing between your thighs.

Then just like that, Alicent pulled away.

But her hands remained on your face. 

She ran her thumb across your cheek as her chest heaved. She smiled breathlessly. 

“That was…,” she said then trailed off. 

You nodded, also trying to catch your breath. “It was.”

Then she brought you in for another kiss. 

It was quicker, and not as deep.

But you were glad the spell was not yet broken. 

When she pulled away the second time you saw the hunger in her eyes once more. 

It reminded you of the painful throb between your legs. 

“Alicent,” you said as you tried to catch your breath.

Alicent stared at your lips. “Yes?”

“I want you…all of you,” you confessed. 

Alicent’s gaze shot up to meet your own. 

“What,” she gaped. 

You swallowed hard. 

Had you broken the spell?

“I want all of you,” you reiterated. 

Alicent shook her head. “We couldn’t (y/n)...kissing is one thing but-,” Alicent replied but you cut her off with another kiss. 

You needed to show her how much you wanted her. To let her realize how much she wanted you in return.

Alicent kissed you back without hesitation. 

Slowly, you guided her to the chaise nearby. 

When you felt the back of your knees hit the chaise you slowly lowered yourself and Alicent down onto it. 

Alicent pulled away as you settled on the chaise. 

She furrowed her brow. 

“(y/n)...,” Alicent began but stopped herself. 

She bit her lip as she watched your chest heave. 

You laid back on the chaise and stuck your hand out towards her. 

Alicent took it and straddled you. 

She crashed her lips onto yours and kissed you hungrily. 

Your hands fell to her hips once again. 

Alicent’s hips softly bucked against yours as she continued to kiss you. 

The throbbing between your thighs started to overwhelm you. You brought your hips up against Alicent’s. 

She moaned into your kiss. 

Your hands roamed her lower body as you both lost yourself in the kiss. 

Alicent pulled away from you and put a hand on your chest. 

“You must never tell Aemond,” she commanded. 

You nodded, not trusting your voice to speak.

Then Alicent got off of you and helped you stand. 

She led you to the elevator and pressed the button for the floor where her room was.

-

I will never tire of her kiss, you thought as Alicent pressed her lips to yours once more. 

She straddled you on her bed. 

It was plush with ample space. You figured it was probably worth more than your school’s tuition.

Alicent broke the kiss to unbutton your pajama top. 

When Alicent reached the second to last button she furiously pulled it apart and hungrily kissed your neck.

You threw your head back and bit your lip. 

It burned wherever her lips trailed along your neck and down your chest. You needed more.

Alicent pulled away and undid her silk robe.

You stood and pushed the pajama bottoms off your body. 

The second your pants hit the floor Alicent pushed you back onto the bed and straddled you. 

You smiled up at her. 

You would never have imagined her so dominant, but it fed the flames of your desire.

Alicent brought your lips to hers and placed her hands on the bed on either side of your head.

Your hands flew to her thighs. You pushed her silk nightgown up, and didn’t stop.

The nightgown was up to her hips. 

When you didn’t feel any lace underneath you pulled away from the kiss. 

“You’re not wearing anything underneath?” You asked, your voice filled with surprise.

Alicent looked down at you with a small smirk. “Maybe I wanted to save you a step,” she replied with a laugh.

You smiled back and leaned up to capture her lips in a kiss once more. 

 Not even a minute later you pulled away from Alicent again, this time to bring the nightgown up and over her head. 

Alicent grabbed the nightgown from you and tossed it aside. 

You stared up at her, now fully naked and bathed in moonlight from the skylight in the ceiling.

“You’re perfect,” you whispered. 

Alicent smiled at you. “Such a charmer,” she teased.

You wrapped your arms around her and flipped the both of you over in her bed. 

Alicent giggled as she landed on her back, a few of the feathers from the down pillows on the bed flew out and settled in Alicent’s hair. 

You raked your eyes over her body, committing every dip and curve to memory. 

“Are you going to keep staring or are you-,” she began but was once again cut off. She let out a small moan as your lips closed around her budded nipple. 

Her hands dug into your hair as you sucked on her.

Your hands did not idle as one held you upright and the other traveled down Alicent’s side.

The ghost of your fingertips left goosebumps in their wake on Alicent’s warm skin. 

Alicent bit down on her lip as your hand settled between her thighs.

Her wetness was splashed against her inner thighs. At the very touch of it you felt your own desire soak through your underwear.

Your mouth left her nipple and placed kisses along her collarbone. 

Alicent hummed in bliss.

Your fingers made their way to Alicent’s labia.

Her voice caught as the tips of your fingers touched her. 

You brought your gaze up to hers. 

“Last chance to turn back and pretend like nothing happened,” you joked.

Alicent huffed and brought your lips to hers. “Don’t you even think about it.”

You smiled into the kiss.

I wouldn’t dream of it, you thought to yourself, I’ve been good all year for this present.

Alicent moaned into your kiss when your fingers entered inside her.

Sounds of pleasure would escape Alicent all night as you devoted yourself to making the night never end so that you would never have to leave the warmth of her kiss.

-

After you both had been spent, Alicent placed a gentle kiss to your cheek and bid you goodnight.

“Dream of me,” you told her.

She smiled lazily as her eyes fluttered shut. “As if I could dream of anyone else after tonight.”

You smiled as you watched her drift off to sleep. 

Your own eyelids grew heavy, but you fought sleep for as long as you could. 

If you slept you would wake up and would have to have a conversation about what tonight would mean for you and Alicent (and Aemond), but if you remained awake you could bask in post coital bliss.

So you gazed at a sleeping Alicent, and gently raked your hands through her hair.

“Thank you,” you whispered to her.

-

Sleep came for you though you tried your hardest to fight it.

The next morning you woke up, briefly confused about the location you had awoken in then reassured as you looked over at Alicent still wrapped in your arms. 

It had not been a dream.

You placed a gentle kiss to the side of her head then slowly untangled yourself from her.

You dressed yourself and put on the now partially torn pajama top then headed out the door. 

-

Sounds of a whirring blender and workout music lead you to the kitchen. You knew Aemond loved to blast hip hop right before he weight trained first thing in the morning. It had been annoying at first but you’d grown used to it. 

You entered the kitchen.

Aemond smiled as you walked in. “Good morning (y/n).”

You grinned from ear to ear. “It is a blessed morning indeed.”

He immediately narrowed his eyes on you. “Why are you talking like that?”

Then his eyes flew down to the torn pajama top.

He set his green smoothie down on the counter, a severe look on his face. “Tell me you didn’t actually-”

You opened the fridge and retrieved a bottled mineral water. 

“Oh I very much did, and hope to do it again,” you replied with a satisfied smirk.

Aemond’s jaw dropped. “That’s my mother, you harlot! How? She’s totally- wait I don’t want to know how.”

You laughed and took a long drink of water. 

Aemond threw a piece of nearby celery at you. “You’re never coming home for the holidays ever again.”

You laughed as it landed on you. “I don’t think I’m ever leaving, son.”

Aemond laughed as you walked out of the kitchen.

As you walked back up to Alicent’s bedroom you realized that this had been the best Christmas you could’ve asked for. Fuck St. Barths.

[tryingtograspctrl]

ANYTHING YOU WANT: AVA COLEMAN X BLACK PLUS SIZE READER

SUMMARY - Yet another sub is hired to fill in for Janine, Ava think she wants this one to stay for a while...

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Finding and keeping a good substitute was harder than Ava thought it would be, either they're under qualified, just as immature as the children or they can't handle the class and give up after a week.

She came across your application and not only were you drop dead gorgeous but your resume was impressive too, you graduated at the top of your class and did a bunch of volunteer work around the community. You also subbed for pretty much every school within the district and your reviews were nothing but good.

"Hey where the hell is Mr. Johnson? This is the third time the bathroom has flooded this week, my kids can't even pee without feeling like they’re on the titanic." Melissa poked her head into Ava's office.

"He's on vacation, said something bout the stress of the job making him grow grays. I don't know where he got that from, the man ain't had hair since Roosevelt was in office." Ava rolled her eyes.

"Well we need someone on the job. Can't you call a temp until he gets back?" Melissa crossed her arms.

"I'm on it." Ava nodded.

"Hey where you headed so fast?" Melissa looked above her glasses at Gregory.

"To find a bathroom where there isn't water up to my ankles. Hi." He rushed out the door hurriedly letting you inside.

"I'm looking for an Ava Coleman." You looked at the redhead.

"That's me, you must be y/n?" She looked you up and down.

"In the flesh." You winked noticing her checking you out.

"Come on let me show you to your classroom." She cleared her throat leading the way.

“This is you, just buzz me if you had any trouble.” Ava opened the door to the classroom.

Time skip

Half the day had gone by already and not one buzz sounded in Ava’s office from your classroom. She didn’t know whether to be grateful or anxious, she just hoped she didn’t have to hire yet another sub for the week.

“Hey go check on the sub for Janine’s class, keep an eye on how she’s doing.” Ava looked up at her secretary.

“I have work to do, why can’t you do it?” The woman huffed in annoyance.

“Because i have work to do too, bigger work, more important work, i’m principle! Now go before i fire you again.” Ava picked up her pen and fiddled with the paper on her desk as if she was actually about to do something.

“God help me.” The woman sighed.

“That’s the one to call on, amen.” Barbara spoke from the entrance.

You were halfway through your lesson plan when you noticed the kids began to lose focus.

Your eyes followed the direction they were looking in and you saw a woman peeping through the small window on the door.

“Um excuse me ma’am may i help you? You’re kind of interrupting the lesson.” You face scrunched up in confusion.

“Just doing my job, i was told to come observe.” The lady spoke flatly.

You could tell she didn’t wanna do it as much as you didn’t want her to.

“By who?” You frowned.

“Ava.” She responded.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, if she wanted to know how class was going why couldn’t she just come see herself.

“Hey kids, i’m gonna step out for a moment but Miss…”

“Allen.”

“Miss Allen is gonna keep an eye on you, don’t give her any trouble ok? I’ll only be gone a few minutes.” You looked at the children.

“Yes miss y/n.” The students responded in unison.

You power walked to the front office, the sound of your heels bouncing off the empty walls.

“Miss coleman can we talk? In private.” You looked between her and another teacher.

“Sure.” She nodded signaling for the teacher to leave.

You closed the door behind her and placed your hands on your hips.

“If you wanted to see how class is going you could’ve just came and had a look yourself you know.” You spoke in amusement.

“I would have but i’ve been very busy filling out paper work.” She held up a stack.

“Those are blank.” You bit your lip suppressing a laugh.

“What’s the real reason you wouldn’t come to the classroom yourself?” You looked at her skepticallly.

She avoided your eyes, picking at her nails.

“You’re hot ok!” She blurted out.

You smirked at her confession crossing your arms.

“I know i couldn’t resist hitting on you and i’m trying not to mix business with pleasure anymore. It just gets me into trouble.” She huffed.

“Listen Miss Coleman why don’t you just come and observe tomorrow, i’m sure you can handle yourself for just one day right?” You placed both hands on her desk leaning in.

Her eyes darted down to your chest, your breasts slightly spilling over the top of your form fitting dress.

“And who says i don’t like a little trouble?” You tilted her chin.

She clenched her thighs together looking up at you through hooded lids.

“See you tomorrow Miss coleman.” Your lips ghosted over her ear.

You walked out of her office making sure to throw a little extra swing in your hips, knowing her eyes were burning holes into your back.

Y’all like this? Want a part two?? 👀

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Norman's Social Media in February

Hey Everyone! I have a few posts that are kind of random conversations between me and my peeps, mentioning random symbols and revolving around social media posts from the past month. I'm going to try and post them this week, just to get them posted. Just know that they're a few weeks old. I probably won't post about this past week's social media until next week. 😁

@galadrieljones:

Also I stopped by today to share that Norman posted a story of him driving in a car past the Eiffel Tower, which is shining a massive spotlight over Paris. He’s definitely still there!

(Twdmusicboxmystery: he's posted a LOT of pics of the Eiffel Tower over the past month. Don't know if he just thinks it's awesome (cuz it is) or if he's hinting at something.)

This was also included in the story:

o.yuuri96 is an Osaka based dealer for motorcycle clothing and accessories. I’m thinking they may do costume and props for Daryl.

@wdway:

I was going to ask what I was looking at? I recognized some of it as being motorcycle parts, but I wasn't sure of the overall meaning. Thanks for clearing it up.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I would have thought Norman was over his candy crush obsession, but apparently not.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I do notice that the first pic talks about things getting tricky and being your "wingman." It's something Shane called Daryl in S2. So, this could be a cloaked TWD reference. Not that it's terribly specific, but I'm sure things will get "tricky" at some point in the spinoff. 😊

@galadrieljones:

Norman is adding to his story

Ooh that one with the Norman face photoshopped on the girl is signed “martinaTWD” which makes me think it’s a fan art

He’s also posting the Eiffel Tower so much!!

@Galadrieljones:

Guys some really interesting posts in Norman’s story today:

First one has a bunch of boxes, look like pizza boxes? With writing I haven’t examined yet. They are labeled with “A” or “B.”

We have railroad tracks and a young person flipping off the camera

Then a quote about love from George Orwell with a woman catching a star…?

The boxes seem to be related to make-up for the show. They say “Raise the Dead”

Could that be the title of the spin-off…?

Idk this was an interesting one! There were more posts. These tho were the most mysterious I thought.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I also wanted to mention the pictures you put above, @galadrieljones. I noticed the one that looks like pizzas but didn’t get a chance to take a closer look. They’re definitely makeup stuff. They all either say, “Daryl scar transfers” “injury transfers” or “suture transfers” (medical). One says “Camille wrist injury transfer.”

Can’t help but think of Beth with that one. Would love to think that Camille is a code name for Beth. Probably not, but one can hope. Really loved the others you posted as well. At least the black and white drawing (with the stripped zombie shirt) and the one of the cop holding back traffic so the cat can cross the road, he’s posted before.

I know bc I’ve taken screenshots of them before. I don’t know if that’s just bc he likes them or if he’s hinting at something. I don’t know what it would be, but cat = Daryl and cops = Grady, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@galadrieljones:

Good call on the makeup boxes. I definitely didn’t look close enough to see a mention of a wrist injury. That’s super interesting.

@wdway:

@galadrieljones:

Thank you! It is the title!?

@wdway:

Just read this article about an hour ago and it relates to the boxes and possible name of the spinoff. But most the article is a repeat of what we already know.

@galadrieljones:

That is a very interesting title …

@wdway:

I did think it was interesting that the box has A's and B's on them.

So you're saying that after Norman has been quiet for so long now there's an abundance of strange post.

@galadrieljones:

Yep. This one is especially interesting because there’s a direct reference to the spin-off, plus some interesting quotes about love. Raise the Dead. Is that not exactly what we are hoping for?

Here is another of the posts. It seems to be a fan art? Not sure but it reminded me of your stripes theory, @wdway. Perhaps it is to do with Paris.

A couple more. It’s a big story. He posted that praying mantis again.

@wdway:

What I've been hoping for is Norman saying, "watch my spin-off. You'll see Beth! She's been alive this whole time! It's our love story! With a plot about fast, smart walkers! TD is the smartest and best part of TWD fandom. Emily and I will be promoting the spin-off all summer. The spin-off will premiere in October all your questions will be answered in Fear and the Maggie and Negan spinoff. Would that be too much to ask for, hope for? Just joking! Sarcastically.

@galadrieljones:

I agree. Hot and lovable weirdo lol.

“TD is the smartest and best part of TWD fandom!” That is definitely the dream lolol

@galadrieljones:

In the meantime, another wolf reference in Norman’s story today. I have seen this movie. It’s about the Wind River Indian reservation in Wyoming.

So both Native American and wolf references

@wdway:

I think I watched this movie last year. I was good. This might also be a nod to the actor (can't remember his name) who had an accident recently that almost and probably should have killed him. You know what? Maybe that's what the hint is about. The story about someone who survived something that seemed unsurvival.

@galadrieljones:

Oh, right. Jeremy Renner. And I liked the movie too!!

@wdway:

Yes, Jeremy Renner. As much as he's been in the news lately you would think I would remember but then again it's me.

@galadrieljones:

Jon Bernthal is also in the movie.

@wdway:

It wasn't an expensive movie, no special effects or anything like that but it has a good story to it.

I had forgotten that. That does have a tie to TWD then.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Yeah I like this movie too. It was good. Jon Bernthal was a nice guy in it. Very un-Shane. I like the ties you both found.

@galadrieljones:

Norman’s story today, the Arc de Triomphe, seems a view from the backseat?

[eirian-houpe]

The Monday Menu

Week 2 of August, next week I start back to work... teacher workdays, but still... 

So, what news...? I FINALLY did it.  I cut myself free from a certain horrible fic website. Deleted ALL my fics, and I’m just waiting for them to tell me how to close the account, and it will all be gone. (There’s no button to do that.) Fear not, however, I am moving everything to AO3. Some of the great exodus has begun already, I’m working through a Stargate Atlantis fic, and a UC: Undercover fic right now, and the others will come in time.

I wrote a little bit last week about how I feel guilty when I indulge myself an allow myself to write. I know I shouldn’t.  It’s a HUGE part of my self-care routine, but I still do. So if anyone catches me doing that guilt thing - please call me out.

Still waiting on those Behind the Scenes requests? Also, nothing happened on Thursday or Saturday last week because I didn’t get any prompts for TTT or Saturday Secret. Sad really. Is the fandom sleeping?

Here’s the plan for this week (and an explanation of each thing for those that are new to my Tumblr), though I might be making some changes.

Monday - The Monday Menu - what it says on the box. A plan for the week.

Tuesday - TMI Tuesday. - Ask me… go on, anything.  Ask my characters -they’ll answer. Nothing is off limits, but be sure you want the answer before you ask the question.

Wednesday - WIP Wednesday - Current state of my works in progress. So many - and still clmbing!

Thursday - Three Things Thursday - any fic of mine is fair game. Doesn’t have to be Rumbelle, I have Rushbelle, a bunch of crossovers, some shows people might no know, some ST: DSC, some SGA and some Tolkien too… ask three things, I dare ya…! Please… This is also the day I’ll do the ‘Behind the Scenes’ post, which might just end up as part of the TTT post.

Friday - Final Line Friday. - Assuming I manage to write anything, I will post a word cloud, and the last line that I have written right before I post this.

Saturday - Saturday Secret - another one of those where you can ask about any fic, and I’ll tell (or show) you a secret. Feel free to follow up with conversation or guesses.  I will tell you if you get something right. Again, no one took me up on the offer… so we might also have to think of another ‘SA’ post.

Sunday - Seven Sentence Sunday. - yeah, I have to write something to be able to post this.

Writing this week - Disparate Pathways is at the head of the list, followed by Not Yours to Keep, and then maybe if there’s time, What the Actual Fuck! I’m also being poked at about a fic that has the working Title “Only Remembered for What We Have Done.”  I think that title is likely to change, but probably not by much.  You might get to see chapter 1 of that fic sooner than I had anticipated.

As always my inbox is open for thoughts, questions, asks… I don’t restrict people to any particular day of the week, and I - like most fic authors - love to discuss things to do with fics and fandom.

I just want to add a shout out to those readers who have left me Kudos these last several days.  It has not gone un-noticed.  love you guys for those votes of confidence..

Talk to me, peeps! My inbox is lonely,

[agustdakasuga]

Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 22

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

Finally, it’s time for everything to come to an end. 

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

Chapter warning(s): Mentions of abuse, violence, gore, blood and death. There is weapon use in this chapter.  

The door opened, letting the light shine in again. You didn’t even bother lifting your head. Everything in your body ached. How long have you been here? You weren’t really sure anymore. 

“Breakfast.” The sound of the tray being placed down. 

“Not hungry...” You mumbled, pressing your cheek against your arm as you looked to the side. Then you felt a light nudge against your ankle. That made you lift your head slightly. Instead of sitting at his usual corner, he was sitting opposite you, the tray between you. 

“Eat.” He said. 

“I’m not hungry right now.” 

“Why?” You didn’t even reply to that. You let out a yawn, followed by a sigh. The tray was pushed against your leg again. 

“You’ll need the energy.” He said, undoing the binds around your wrists. You didn’t really understand what he meant but you also didn’t really have the mood to banter today. 

“Eat.” He repeated. When he was done, he stood up straight and headed back to his same spot to sit. You gave him a look, pushing the food around the tray. 

“Thanks...” You murmured and took your first bite. Unlike your other meal chats, you were silent, taking small bites of your food here and there. 

“I’m done.” You pushed the tray away. More than half the tray of food was left. The tray was picked up, followed by retreating footsteps and the door closing. You stared at the wall until you realised. 

He didn’t bind your hands back. 

“What...?” You looked around to see if there was someone else in the room. This wasn’t a trap. You scrambled around until you saw, under the water bottle left behind, a key was hidden.

“Please, please.” You chanted, jamming the key into the keyhole on the ankle brace. When the lock shifted, you almost cried out in relief. 

“Where’s the exit?” You bunched up your skirt, trying your best to tie it together so it wouldn’t hinder you when you run. The first thing you did was press your ear to the door to hear for footsteps. There were no sounds outside but you still poked your head out to look first. The coast was clear so you made a break for it, running down the hallways. 

“Come on.” You panted, trying to find the exit but this place seemed like a maze. You guessed that you were probably in some warehouse, judging by the sheet metal walls and concrete floors. 

“She’s gone!” 

“Find the girl!” 

“This way!” You heard shouts behind you and quickened your pace. But all the hallways looked the same. You just kept running, hoping to find an open door or exit soon. 

“Aish!” Someone grabbed your wrist, yanking you to hide behind another wall. You pressed your back against the wall, seeing two guys run past you. 

“Why are you still here?” The male beside you panted. 

“I couldn’t find the exit. This place is a freaking maze.” You said through gritted teeth. He shook his head. As you were opening your mouth to speak again, he hushed you, taking his pistol out of his holster. 

“Take this.” 

“Are you crazy?! I can’t shoot a gun.” 

“I’m not asking you to go crazy and start shooting up the place. Just use it to get away if you need to. Pull this back, aim and shoot. I’ll buy you some time. The exit is down this hallway, make a right. Now go!” He shoved you in the direction of said exit. You turned to look back. 

“What about you?” You panicked. 

“Just go! I’m buying you time. And I have an extra.” He waved his spare pistol in the air. Even if you wanted your freedom, you were still hesitant. 

“Go and don’t look back.” He said before separating from you. You continued running, shaky hands holding onto the gun by your side. Finally, at the end of the hallway, you saw the door. 

“Please.” When the knob turned, your heart soared. Was this really the thing separating you from your freedom now? 

“Where do you think you’re going?” One of the men stood on the other side of the door. You didn’t have a choice, you lifted the gun. The male took a weary step back. 

“Just let me go. And I won’t shoot.” You threatened. 

“Well...” You saw his hands moving to reach for his weapon. On instinct you clicked the gun and shot his shoulder. He cried out in shock as he went down. 

“Move again and you’re dead.” You held the gun over him as you clicked it into place again. But your victory was short lived when you felt an arm wrap around your neck. You would have thrashed around or try to hit him but you felt the coolness of a blade press against your neck, right where you jugular was. That made you immobile. 

“Drop the gun.” He said into your ear. You were defeated, dropping the weapon onto the ground. 

“Walk.” He pulled you backwards and you followed, your feet shuffling backwards. You watched with longing eyes as the door got further and further. Just like that, whatever light you saw slowly disappeared. 

“Tell boss I found the girl.” He told another person before throwing you back into that room. 

“Oh doctor, you just had to try and escape. That’s cute.” The boss said, circling around you. You panted, lifting your head to shoot him a glare. 

“You even shot one of my men. I’m impressed.” He clapped. 

“But because of you...” The boss waved for the other men to bring in the male who helped you escape. He had been roughed up for sure, his eye was bruised and parts of his face swollen up. 

“Take it out on me. Leave him out of this.” You growled. 

“Aww, isn’t that cute? Both of you fighting to play the hero. But unfortunately, this is a matter of betrayal.” The boss kicked him, making the already injured male groan in pain. He managed to peep open his eyes to make eye contact with you. 

“But first, tell me, boy. Why betray your family? Don’t tell me you have fallen for her charm like those stupid Bangtan boys.” He threw his head back in laughter. 

“Family?” He scoffed but coughed right after, spewing out blood. 

“I took you in, took care of you and provided for you. This is how you repay me?” He began to rain more punches and kicks on the boy, making him wince and moan in more pain. 

“Stop it!” You shouted. 

“Don’t worry, doc. I promise, after this, it’s your turn.” He laughed. That was when he took his gun out, the other men that watched lifted the boy up for their boss to press the barrel of the gun right against his forehead. Your heart sank. This boy didn’t deserve to die for helping you. Now you regretted everything that you ever said to him. 

“Any final words?” The boss asked. 

“It’s all my fault, I never should have...” You shook your head, tears slipping down your cheeks. 

“It’s not your fault... It was me, holding onto the last bit of my independence.” He smiled before a deafening bang sounded through the room. Blood spattered out from the back of his head and onto the wall, the bullet having gone right through. 

“Hasn’t there been one time where you felt that you could never do anything for yourself? Then when you’re given that bit of independence, to finally do something for yourself, that’s all you want to hold onto?”

Those were your words. 

“That was touching.” The boss wiped a fake tear. The body fell forward, a small blood pool forming under his head. You wanted to throw up. 

“Now, as for you, doctor.” The boss turned to you. 

“Just shoot me.” You dared, done with all this. Maybe death was really the better option now.

“Tempting but no can do. I need you here for the final show. And our main guests aren’t even here yet. But don’t worry, you won’t wait too long. I think they’ll be here very soon.” The boss smiled. 

“Rough her up before they come.” The boss told him men before leaving.

“Finally. Payback. After what Jungkook did to me back then.” The petty male landed the first punch, followed by kicks. Usually, you were try to cocoon yourself to protect yourself but you just couldn’t take your eyes off the bleeding body before you. His eyes were still open, staring at you. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to him as you cried silently. 

-

“Remember our priority. Get (y/n) out of there. Then we kill the boss.” Namjoon reminded. The 6 boys nodded their heads. They were getting close to finding you and bringing you home. 

“Whoever finds (y/n) first, just take her to one of the cars and get her to the nearest hospital. The rest of us will handle the boss.” Jin said. 

“Let’s go.” They all ran towards the big warehouse. With every other possible hideouts having been search and burnt, this was the only place left. When the men saw them, they immediately got into position, their boss having told them prior to expect the 7. But all the boys saw was red. Bullets were shot and blades were swung. 

“Ugh!” Jimin went down as he was attacked by two men but Taehyung swung his bat, hitting one straight in the head while Jimin drove his sword into the other’s abdomen. 

“Thanks.” Jimin nodded to Taehyung, running forward and jumping to hide slash as a few men. Jungkook tackled some men to the ground.

“We’re wasting time.” Hoseok grunted as he shot someone. Jin used the handle of his gun to knock some guys out. 

“Split up!” Yoongi shouted and they all went their separate directions. 

“Watch my back.” Yoongi said to Hoseok and Jimin as he checked the rooms. They were all empty, except for some storage items. Namjoon and Jin opened a room, where more men of the gang were. That led to more wasted time trying to fight them off. Taehyung and Jungkook moved together. 

“Damn our luck. I hope the others were better than us.” Jin laughed sarcastically as Namjoon punched some men. He reloaded his guns and shot at whoever tried to come at them. 

“Jungkook! Get down!” Taehyung pulled the maknae down. Although they wanted to fight, they had to save energy and ammo. 

“Find them! They’re somewhere around here.” A group of men ran past them. 

BEEP BEEP

“Yoongi hyung’s team found the boss.” Jungkook said as he checked his pager. Once the coast was clear, they moved to the location that was sent to them. The 7 of them met up again. 

“He's in there. I heard the men talking.” Jimin informed. With that, Jungkook backed away slightly before kicking the door down and running in. The boys all stood there, blood staining their clothes. They could feel it, the end of everything was nearing. As they came face to face with their enemy, the one who took you. 

“Welcome.” He smirked from his comfortable spot on the couch. 

“Where is she?!” Jimin pointed his katana at him, the blade merely a few inches from his face. 

“Ah, ah. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He taunted, waving his hand. That was when you were brought in, kneeling in front of the couch. Your dress was dirtied and you were beaten up, bruises and cuts littering your face and limbs. 

“(y/n)...” Jungkook called out softly. Your eyes were lidded as you swayed dangerously. You were losing consciousness, fast. It was obvious from the dried blood trail on your temple. Even when a pistol was pressed to the back of your head in a threatening manner, you didn’t flinch. The boys took a step forward. 

“One more step...” The boss threatened and the male that held the pistol clicked the gun into place. 

“What do you want?” Namjoon growled. 

“Oh, how great man fall. All for a single woman. Honestly, I couldn’t believe my ears when I was told that the dangerous Bangtan had fallen for a girl, some doctor. That was until I saw it for myself.” He started.

“I wanted to know just what about her was able to bring the 7 of you to your knees. Then, I met her.” He turned to you. 

“I can see why you all adore her.” Using his finger, he lifted your chin. There were a few growls and fist clenches. He side eyed the boys, liking the reaction that he was getting out of them. 

They hated it. They hated the fact that you were right in front of them and yet, they couldn’t save you if they wanted you alive. They hated that they were the reason that you were in this position. You weren’t supposed to be here, you were supposed to be well protected in their house, there to heal them when they got hurt.

“I’ll ask again. What is it you want?” Namjoon asked through gritted teeth. They were all resisting the urge to shoot the man in front of them. 

“The Bangtan empire. You all don’t deserve what you have. You don’t have what it takes to run such an empire when you’re so weak for a mere woman.” The boss said in frustration. 

“That’s it? You want money? Our companies?” Yoongi glared. 

“Sure.” The boss shrugged. The boys were suspicious. There was no way this man went through all this trouble just for their empire. 

“Take it.” Jin said. 

“Also, I might keep the doctor with me. She’s fun to have around. Her skills and feisty attitude would be a great addition to my gang.” He smirked. This man was just playing them now. 

“Over my dead body.” Taehyung sneered. Whatever it is, they were going to make sure that you went home with them today. Alive. 

“Looks like we have a problem then.” The boss grinned. 

“Take one step closer.” Hoseok threatened the few men he saw slowly getting closer. It was obvious that they were waiting for the boys to put their guard down attacking them. 

“I changed my mind, I don’t just want your empire.” The boss shrugged. That had been the goal all along. He wanted to make sure that Bangtan is ended here, permanently. And that he would be the one to end them. Namjoon’s eyes followed the movements of the boss. 

“Unfortunately, you don’t have the upper hand. Unless you want to say goodbye to the doctor.” He smirked at Namjoon. 

“Drop your weapons. Go on.” He commanded. One by one, the boys dropped their weapons. With another wave of the hand, the men moved in on them. The boys grit their teeth, fighting to urge to fight back as they were hit. 

“See? Weak.” The boss scoffed. 

BANG! 

The boys froze, turning around. Everyone else stopped. That was when they saw the man, who was holding the gun to your head, on the ground, dead. You stood shakily, holding the pistol in your hand as you aimed directly at the boss. 

“Next time... remove the dead guy’s extra gun before you leave his body...” You smirked. The boss turned to you.

“Tell them to move back.” You demanded. 

“You wouldn’t dare...” He taunted. You clicked the gun, showing that you weren’t joking. Oh, how to tables have turned. If you managed to shoot the other guy already, you didn’t have a problem killing the boss too. Remembering the boy’s fallen body, it only made you angrier. Sensing your threat wasn’t empty, the boss nodded for his men to fall back. 

“(y/n)...” Jin called out softly. 

“A life for a life.” You pulled the trigger, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you collapsed. Luckily, Jungkook was quick to run over and catch you before you could hit the ground.  

“You did well, leave the rest of us.” He whispered. Your shot didn’t kill the boss, only managing to hit him in the thigh. 

“Get her out of here.” Yoongi said to the maknae. He nodded, running out of the place with you in his arms. 

With their boss down and most likely going to die, the other men just surrendered, putting their hands up. The 6 remaining Bangtan boys stood over the boss, who was writhing on the ground in pain. 

“Tell your girl... The boy that was killed because of her... His name is also Jisung... Just like her dear nephew.” He still managed to force out a laugh. 

“You want our money?” Jin gave the first kick. 

“You want our empire?” Namjoon gave the second. 

“You mess with our girl?” Jimin stepped on his thigh, pushing the bullet further into his flesh. He screamed out, straining. 

“We’ll see you in hell.” Taehyung raised his metal bat, slamming it down. They just watched emotionlessly as Taehyung beat the man’s face in. He coughed, choking on his blood as he tried to crawl away. 

“Where are you going?” Hoseok kicked him back. Imaging all the torture and abuse you went through fuelled their anger. The others killed the other men. 

No one was to be spared. 

“We have to go before the cops come.” Namjoon stopped Taehyung. Taehyung took a step back with a smirk, rubbing away the blood that managed to splatter on his cheek. Yoongi took the gun out that he had brought for good measure. He placed the barrel of the gun right over the man’s chest, clicking it back slowly. With a smile, he pulled the trigger. 

“For good measure.” Jin shrugged with a smile and shot two more bullets. 

“That’s enough. Let’s go. We have more important things to do.” Namjoon waved the gang over. Right now, they should prioritise your condition. Same as always, Yoongi grabbed a lighter, torching the place down. 

“Don’t forget to send a gift to the governor to thank him for putting out all the fires.” Hoseok laughed. Namjoon hummed. 

~~

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[chocominnie]

One Last Time — 05

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01 02

⇢ Word Count : 3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

The scent of vanilla with a hint of cinnamon is what wakes you up from your sleep. Hair and body tangled in-between the blankets, which lets you know you you had tossed and turned once again. The frizzball on your head is definitely going to be a challenge to work with. Stretching your limbs, you let out a small yawn only for your hands to drop back down and feel nothing but cold emptiness.

Was it a dream? Dream? You didn’t even have one of your night terrors for the first time in a year. The dream to you seemed rather pleasent. Jimin tangled up in your arms as he holds you tight while you breathe into his bare chest. The warmness is something you had longed for once again and it all felt surreal.

‘‘ You awake yet?’‘

The voice startles you, making you drop your phone onto the comforter and turn your head towards the bedroom door where it came from. His blonde hair and small smile peep through the door, hoping to atleast get a better reaction out of you. 

So it is real.

“ You’re really here? Did I bump my head too hard to where im imagining things?” You pull the covers close to you for security. Just as in your dream, there he is barechest and all.

He lets out a squeaky laugh followed by a smile as he comes towards your bed, tapping them to give you a signal to open. You raise an eyebrow but oblige, spreading them a bit only for him to sit inbetween them. It feels as if you’re heart might explode with the sudden flirtacious moves from him. Something you have been wanting but still aren’t used to.

‘‘ You slept so good that you don’t remember last night?”

You look at him eyes wide and then down to your body, “ Please tell me we didn’t-’’

‘‘ As much as I would of love to, No.’‘

A shot of relief flows through you but sadness soon comes over. He isn’t yours to be thinking these sorts of things. He isn’t yours in general. It wouldn’t be right for him to say things like that to you, while still entangled with another female.

‘‘ Why so sad?” His hands comes to your face to caress your cheeks. You shake your head softly then grab his hand to slowly lower it back down.

Jimin sighs, “ Baby just tell me whats wrong.’’

That word. That word you know always messes things up with your thoughts. Your emotions, hell everything in your body too.

You slowly make your way off of the bed, not interested in the conversation anymore. It’s not like you don’t want to continue, you do, but the guilt of everything that comes with it is enough to stir you away.

‘‘ Jimin don’t use that word. You technically still belong to Isabel.”

‘‘ Is she here at this very moment?” He cocks his head to the side with a smirk. You roll your eyes in response to his cockiness.

‘‘ No. That doesn’t change the fa-”

‘‘ Alright then. Now are you going to tell me what’s really on your mind or do I have to force it out?” He raises his hands and scrunches them with grabby motions. You don’t fall for it though. 

You make your way to the doorway, “ That’s all Jimin. I promise. Just call me by  my real name okay?’’

But that’s not what you want. What you want you know you can’t have. It’s not because you can’t have it because you want too. It’s just that it would make you feel like a terrible, horrible person. The look on his face when you say those words almost make you give in. Those puppy eyes caught yours and for a split second you almost consider it but don’t. It’s hard for you, it really is. Having something dangling in your face but you’re too concious to have it.

He’s still not yours. 

With the morning being spent eating a good breakfast Jimin made your favorite pancakes. You watched him carefully, the way his hair bobbed up and down a bit while his right arm whisked the batter quickly. He seemed so natural and comfortable as if he was used to doing this for you. With your elbows on the island counter and head in your hands while you’re seated, you can’t help yourself to stare at the back of him and let the memories float in your mind.

Memories that never fade from you. It’s cute of him to steal glances of you here and there when pouring the batter into the pan. The small winks he gives you makes your heart flutter and the blood rush to your cheeks. It feels rather good to you to have his presence here. Despite the guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach.

 The rest of the day you two decide to lounge around. Endless movies and tv shows throughout the day as you’re cuddled up next to him with a pink colored blanket for the two of you to share. Clara seems to enjoy her time with him too since she won’t let him put her down. She meows loudly with every movement of him. Such a drama queen.

‘‘ Jimin it’s getting late..” You pause, looking up at him. He gives you a small frown when he sits up in hopes you won’t finish your sentence. “ She might begin to worry you’re not home yet.”

Jimin ignores your comment only to latch onto your body a little more rougher, arms not wanting to let go. You giggle before running your fingers through his hair as his head lays softly onto your chest. You wan’t him to leave mentally, but your body wants to hold on to him for way much longer.

‘‘ Your heartbeat is soothing to me.”

It always has been. Anytime he just wanted to talk when you were in a relationship, he would lay you down and then lay himself on you with his ear pressed against your chest. Some days he would have been happy to talk, others, he just wanted to lay there to fall asleep.

‘‘ Seriously Jimin. You should leave.” 

He shakes his head, ‘’ Shhh. Jungkook is coming soon and I would love to sit here and have you to myself.’’

You raise an eyebrow is confusion, “ Why is he coming here?’’

‘‘ I kind of sort of lost my keys to my home. Isabel came yesterday to give the copy’s she went and made when we were at Ryan’s office.  I left the house key with Jungkook while going after you instead of putting it on my keychain right away.”

So that explains why she came. It also would of been better to have touch pad, or even facial recognition to enter the home. Anyone can just copy the key to your home. The fans are already crazy enough after that time you two saw one trying to follow you into your used-to-be shared apartment. It didn’t end so well either.

“ Why don’t you have touch-pad?” You say, sitting up with a disappointed look.

‘‘ Funny story. When the house was made I thought keys would be better than touch-pad on the outside because any paparazzi who manages to get through the front could snap pictures of the code. So why not use a key right?’‘

You just sigh and shake your head in disappointment, not even wanting to explain why that would still be a dumb idea. “ Whatever makes you happy.”

‘‘ But if you were there you would of stopped me.. right?”

Your eyes shoot down to him only to see him staring right back up into yours. The butterflies in your stomach begin to flutter once more. It’s been so long since you felt those.

‘‘ Yes. Yes I would have told you it was a dumb option because nobody can make it past security without calling you first.’‘ You whisper, both of your faces inches away from each other.

‘‘ I thought so. Can I make another dumb suggestion?’‘ His voice says, faint enough for you to hear making the hairs stick up on your neck.

You swallow slowly as chills run down your spine out of anxiety, ‘‘ What?’‘

‘‘ This.’‘

It all feels surreal to you. His lips against yours moving in sync together it’s all just surreal. Within seconds his tongue is swiping against your lips begging for entrance in which you comply. The way his hands rub up and down your thighs is sure to make you moan against the kiss, grabbing them to lead it to your core. He obliges and traces the outline of it outside of your clothing, laying you down gently on the couch in the process.

Until that painful doorbell rings loudly causing you both to groan. Jimin pulls away with a plop noise and give you a wink before lifting off of you to go see who is at the door. Your clothes are ruffled up a bit and that small wet spot between your legs seems to not too noticeable when you fix yourself up quickly.

Sex with Jimin. You almost had sex with Jimin. You feel wrong about it but at the same time you want nothing more to have him make you a screaming moaning mess. You miss him, the way his stroke game is, and everything about him dominating you in the bedroom. 

He’s still not yours though.

‘‘ Who is it?’‘

You sit up and fix your hair to at-least look presentable. That kiss meant everything to you. Your feelings and body enjoyed it but your mind did not. It slipped your mind that you should of pulled away. Nothing can replace how it felt to have his lips on yours again.

The door opens revealing Jungkook who’s face is a little red and breathing hard. He runs inside and shoves Jimin out the way before slamming the door shut and locking it with his back against the wall. You furrow your eyebrows and get up from the spot you’re sitting in.

‘‘ Jungkook what’s happening? Why are you run-”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

‘‘ Open the door now! I know you guys are in there! Jimin get your ass out here now!’’

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Your eyes go wide. That voice. That oh so familiar voice is standing right outside your apartment door. 

‘‘ I tried telling her you went to practice with Seokjin for some new choreography but she knew I lied. Im sorry I tried to run as fast as I could to my car to get away from her. She followed me here in her car and then I had to run some more up to your apartment.’‘ He breathes hard, handing the new set of keys to Jimin.

Shit! You have no words to say. This wouldn’t of all started if you wouldn’t have been so stubborn yesterday to just take a taxi. You wouldn’t of passed out, he wouldn’t have been here with you all day today.

That doesn’t excuse the fact that this girl is batshit crazy for following Jungkook and showing up at your actual fucking apartment. Jimin looks at you with sorriness in his eyes. You look at him with anger and cross your arms to prove your point as to why he should have left in the first place.

 ‘‘ Im going outside to talk to her. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

Jimin’s hand pushes down the handle to the door and as soon as he cracks it open, the force of the door pushes open harshly hitting the wall next to it, making him stumble back a little.

‘‘ So you think it is okay to go to your exes apartment? I would never disrespect you like that Jimin, you know that!”  Rage has taken upon her, face red and it doesn’t already help that her facial expression is beyond pissed.

Slap!

You watch in horror as her hand connects with his left cheek. Jungkook’s eyes go wide, but then frown into anger before walking over to her. Stomping with each step he takes.

“ Watch what your fucking doing okay? That’s my brother and I certainly do not hit girls but with one click of a button Ryan will be on her way to beat your ass got it?’’ 

‘‘ Jungkook stay out of this! This isn’t your battle. Now you, you have some nerve letting him inside here. Obviously you were not enough for him to go cheating on you.” Isabel says, stepping away from Jimin and leaving him there at the door.

That one hurt. She does have a point though, you should of made Jimin leave regardless of what he said to you. You got caught up in the moments that weren’t meant to be yours. Its true, she has every right to be mad.

‘‘ I don’t appreciate you being around Jimin..” She inches closer to you, hands on her hips. You begin to back up, eyes to the ground of guilt. If only things wouldn’t have unfolded like this.

‘‘ Your relationship to him is starting to be inapropriate.” Isabel’s eyes make contact with yours when you look up. She looks at you as if you’re disgusting, and you can’t blame her.

‘‘ Isabel..’‘ Jimin warns, coming behind her.

On the heel of her feet, she turns around shaking her head. “You don’t deserve to talk. You care so much about her, but did you forget we are a couple? We may just be cooling things off between us, but you are still mine as I am to you.’‘

Jimin sighs, stopping just behind her, ‘‘ Isabel look..”

“ Jimin..” Jungkook starts, uneasy of what his brother is to say next. You know what’s coming and you know that tone of Jimin’s voice all too well.

The same one he used when breaking up with you. You see the tears well in her eyes. Some part of you feels bad for her because you know those words well. You know that feeling all too good.

‘‘ Are you really breaking up with me because of her? We were doing just fine until she showed back up in the picture. Are you seriously doing this?” Her voice cracks on the last words. That made your heart sting a bit. This isn’t right.

Jimin sighs looking at the two of you back and forth. You are the one for him, it’s no doubt. It was a stupid choice for him to cheat on you. It was a stupid choice for him to leave you in the dust like that. You gave him everything. A loving relationship, a home, happiness, you are the highlight of his days. He misses you just as much as you miss him.

“ Isabel we are through. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man to your expectations. It’s my fault. All my fault and I shouldn’t have let you belie-”

“ Fuck you. Fuck you Park Jimin.” Her words slice through the air, piercing Jimin right in his heart. It hurt for him to hear that, but he deserves it.

Jungkook doesn’t look so shocked, but he does wish Jimin would have did this else-where other than your apartment. Isabel looks at you with envy, reaching into her small chanel bag for something. Jungkook gives her a warning look to just leave before grabbing your arm to make you stand behind him.

“ Isabel I’ll walk you down. It’s best to just leave it be. Please.” Jimin begs from behind her. You watch the tears roll down her eyes and you still can’t help but to feel guilty.

You are the cause of their breakup. Maybe you really should have minded your business about Jimin. Maybe you shouldn’t have entertained his charming ways at all. Looking back down at her hands, you see a small pocket knife she grips tightly. You tap Jungkook and point which makes him push you behind him even more. 

“ It’s a bad idea. You can hurt me but you wont hurt my brother or her.” He says, daring her to make any type of movement towards you. 

Jimin comes behind her and attempts to grab the knife in which she slashes his palm on accident trying to push him away. In that quick second, Jimin hisses in pain while pulling away giving Isabel all the time she has to get to you while Jungkook is already across the room for his brother, forgetting you hiding behind him.

‘‘ Shit! Jimin are you okay?” He asks, but then quickly turns to you, “ Quick! Go hide! Hurry! “ Jungkook screams.

‘‘ Isabel this isn’t what he wants. He wants you to be happy and getting back at me will only upset him more!”  As if your words would even convince the crazy girl in the slightest. 

She just laughs as your words, fastly walking to you who’s, running towards the living area thinking it would cut time shorter if you cut through there to your bathroom.

You aren’t fast enough. She tackles you to the ground where you two rumble around trying to get away from her until she putting all her weight on you as she sits directly on your chest making it hard for you to breathe. 

“ Maybe a little mark on your face will tell you to stop home-wrecking people’s relationship.” She raises the knife up high and you watch in horror before she raises it back to in attempt to make a slash on your forehead.

You block each attempt at her trying to slash anything on your face. Your dad always told you to protect your face in self defense and fighting and thats what you do. Only until with one last thrush, the knife connects with your forearm, making a nice sized gash on it.

‘‘ Fuck!”

The voices in your area fade in and out. You look to your left to see Isabel being dragged out by a pair of cops. But the puddle of blood forming around you rapidly sends you into panic. Only you cant panic. You cant speak. Your vision is slowly loosing faith in you.

Open.

Close.

Open.

Close.

Open.

Cl-

[finnyboywolfhard]

Kiss It, Make It Better

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader 

summary: Y/N craves smoking with someone new, so who better than Steve Harrington. 

A/N: this is based solely on the ‘it’s only marijuana’ line in season three bc i am in love with stoner!Steve 

warnings: drugs <3, cursing, fluff 

word count: 2.4k 

Y/N and Dustin had the routine since Y/N got her license, that once a month they would have a sibling drive, in which they would drive around with the sole intent of getting caught up with one another. Given all the shit they had been through over the past few years, it naturally became their own special form of therapy. The Events of Starcourt on the Fourth of July and the days prior were once again weighing heavily on the two during their first drive since.

“What was it like being drugged?” Dustin asked, his curiosity weaving its way into his voice.

“Weird. It kinda felt like everything was the best thing ever, but it also came at the worst time. It was also weird that it was with Steve Harrington and Robin.”

“Is it like weed?”

“Is it like what?” Y/N knew the answer, it was no, but she had no idea why her little brother was deciding to ask her that in that exact moment.

“When you guys were drugged, I kept asking Steve if he did drugs, and he said that he only did marijuana. I wanted to know if they were comparable. So, is it like weed?”

“First off Dusty, you don’t ‘do’ marijuana, you smoke it. And secondly, I’m not answering that question, you can save that query for Steve.” Steve. Y/N had a lot of thoughts about him, it was interesting to hear about him from the rumors in high school in comparison to how she saw him act regularly. And ever since she started smoking to calm herself down, she has craved smoking with someone other than Robin, maybe Steve was worth a shot.

“Speaking of Steve, he said he might be over a lot over the next few nights while his parents are away, just so you know.”

“Oh? Is he coming tonight?”

“No, not tonight. He isn’t off work till 9 and mom doesn’t want him coming an hour before my dumbass bedtime— I still don’t get why she just NOW gave me a bedtime while you don’t even have a curfew.” Her brother started rambling, but all she could pay attention to was that he was going to be home alone tonight. Would it be that crazy of her to show up after all the trauma they had been through over the past 3 years?

“It’s because I’m legally an adult, so she’s treating me as such, and you’re just going into high school, she wants you to be safe. But okay, guess we’ll just have to see him soon.” The two drove around for a while longer before returning home. As the hours in between past, Y/N glanced towards her bookshelf, in which held a hidden stash of weed. She could always tell her mom she was just going to Robin’s, she would never try to prevent Y/N from seeing Robin.

She walked toward the bookshelf with soft footing, and with a gentle touch she plucked the hard covered book from the shelf. Inside lay two pre rolled joints she bought from her dealer and some bud Murray had snuck her after Hopper’s memorial. She snapped the book closed and tossed the book gently onto her bed. She put on a zip up hoodie and packed a fake sleepover bag. The books spine crackled gently as the cover was opened just enough for her to grab the pre-rolls out and into her pocket.

With backpack slung over her shoulders and her hands tucked securely in her pockets, Y/N strolled casually into the living room where her mother sat, as the minutes ticked quicker and quicker past 9:30–he was definitely home by now.

“Hey mom! Inhope you don’t mind but I’m gonna head over to Robin’s.”

“Oh! Did she call? I didn’t even hear the phone!”

“Oh no! She didn’t!” Y/N let in a gulp, she didn’t think this through. “She asked me a few days ago to come over tonight if I wanted to, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go until a little bit ago.”

“Ah, sounds like you, Do you wanna call her before you head over?” Claudia stood from her seat and began moving and motioning towards the phone.

“No!’ Y/N shrieked at her mother, who turned confusedly towards her. “Her mom goes to bed early and I told her that if I was gonna come it would be between 9 and 10, she assumes I’m coming, but I do really gotta get going.” Y/N glanced nervously at the clock, it was getting later and later and there comes a time where it’s a little uncomfortable to show up. Claudia glanced to the clock as well.

“Okay Y/N/N, you better get going.”

“Bye mom—“

“—Drive safe, be careful, I love you.”

“I love you too mom.” Y/N said as she practically ran to her car. She turned her car on and began the drive towards his house, not even thinking twice about where she was going until the car came to a park in his driveway.

“Shit!” Y/N yelled at herself. She yelled at herself for being weird and for showing up unannounced. She calmed herself down by saying, “who wouldn’t want someone showing up with free weed? Don’t overthink it.” She pulled in a complete, deep breath and walked hesitantly to the door. Three knocks sounded off the door, her breath fluttering ever so slightly as she let her hand fall to her side. Footsteps could be heard from the opposite side of the door, stepping closer and closer by the second. The doorknob turned and Y/N’s attention snapped up to meet the gaze of the boy at large.

“Hey Y/N, what’re you doing here?” Steve asked delightfully surprised. Her hand reached inside her pocket to pull one of the two joints. She lifted it from her pockets to where he could see it.

“Got a light?” She asked with a smirk.

After finding a lighter, the two made their way to his backyard. They sat parallel to one another in their chaise chairs. Y/N flicked the lighter a few times before sparking up the first joint of the night. She pulled a large huff in and held it as she passed the joint to Steve. He took in a long drag, holding the joint in front of him to inspect it after he hit it. A few seconds after Y/N had released her hit, Steve started coughing a bunch.

“Jesus Y/N, where the hell did you get this?” Steve said through the gasps for air.

“Good shit, huh?” Y/N joked as she inhaled another hit. The two fell into a rhythm of passing it back and forth as conversation allowed itself to flood the air.

“So what made you come here Y/N?” Steve pondered towards the girl.

“Dusty started asking me about when we were drugged, and apparently you told him you smoked weed. And, as much as I love Robin, I need someone new to smoke with, and you’re not AWFUL to hang out with.” Y/N explained, with sarcasm dripping from the last sentence.

“Wow, I feel so touched. Truly, I feel like the luckiest man alive. THE Y/N Henderson chose ME to smoke with. Best day of my life.” Steve rambled on, matching the sarcastic tone Y/N started with. The two laughed for a bit together, before Y/N spoke through the giggles.

“I am sorry for just showing up, I just didn’t know how to ask.”

“What? Am I that scary?”

“You’re THE King Steve, you’re the coolest, hottest guy at Hawkins. I was so intimidated by your male wiles. I am begging at your feet Steve Harrington.” Y/N mocked other girls she had witnessed in Hawkins. “No you’re not scary, I just couldn’t bring myself to say ‘Hey Steve, want to do some drugs with me?’ on our family phone, it didn’t feel right.” Steve let out a chuckle and a ‘fair enough’. It fell silent for a moment as the joint had its final hits taken from it.

“Why haven’t we hung out before? I mean away from all the traumatizing shit.” Steve asked slowly as he let himself sink down into the chair.

“Different friend groups before it all and then after and during it all, I didn’t and don’t want to impede on you and Dustin’s time. Plus neither of us have asked each other anyway.”

“That’s not true, I invited you to the movies that one day you stopped into scoops alone.”

“Yeah after I had already told you I was babysitting that night, you didn’t even ask to reschedule.”

“Yes I absolutely—didn’t. I didn’t.” Steve said, confidence dissipating. Y/N couldn’t help but focus to each small feature of his face one by one. Sure, she had looked at him but she never looked at him. He really was beautiful.

Jokes and stories were told between the two, laughter and exaggerated stories filled the bubble they put themselves in. In those moments, there was no one else in the world but Steve and Y/N.

“And that’s how Mike Wheeler broke his finger in our backyard.” Y/N let out through a fit of giggles. Steve clutched his stomach as he let himself fall back into the chair from the gut busting laughter Y/N had sent him into. As he got more comfortable, he glanced down at his watch. His eyes bulged at the time.

“Holy shit.” He said flustered, eyes never leaving the watch face.

“What? What time is it?”

“It’s almost 2 A.M.”

“Oh damn…” Y/N said, a dangerously fun smile finding its way to her face. Her hand reached towards the second joint in her pocket. “So this would be of no interest to you?” Steve’s squinted eyes opened just a peep. He let out a long whine.

“I think I’m too high to even move…but that looks so good.” Y/N looked between him and the joint. She noticed space for her to sit on the edge of his chair, and placed herself there. She placed the joint between her lips and gave it a light, waiting for the rolling paper burn down to the weed. From between her lips, she pulled the joint between her fingers and held it gently up to his. He took in a pull, never once releasing eye contact. With each consecutive hit, the distance between them drew closer and closer, eventually leaving their faces merely inches apart. Her fingers were so far back on the joint, they grazed his lips as he took in one of the final hits. Her fingers tingled from his touch. She glanced towards his eyes, his meeting hers already. The air around them went still and quiet. Their eyes were locked on each other, contact never wavering as their bodies moved towards one another like a magnet. His eyes stayed put on hers as his voice fell in the air.

“Give me one more.” Her hand lifted lightly and placed itself at his lips once more. The joint glowed a bright red as he inhaled the smoke. Y/N was so enraptured by his beauty, she didn’t notice the joint burning down to a nub. She watched as a cloud of smoke was blown from his lips and into the sky, before the heat had finally reached her touch.

“Son of a bitch!” She exclaimed as she dropped the roach to the ground. She lifted her fingers to her mouth, attempting to ease the burning feeling. The burn wasn’t bad, just a little redness but it didn’t hurt any less.

“Hey, let me see it.” Steve’s tone was much gentler now as he lifted her hand into his own. He raised her gently by her wrist to examine the burnt fingers. He delicately placed the burnt fingers to his lips and gave them a tiny little kiss.

“Kiss it, make it better.” He whispered, just barely audible to her ears. That’s what was so shocking about Steve, his heart was so filled with love and care. He did his best to make everyone feel protected, even if his popular guy persona overshadowed it at times.

“How are you so perfect?” Her voice came out quietly. Slowly, he lifted his head to look at her once more and without much thought, he closed the distance. The kiss was gentle and loving, but clearly stoked by passion. His lips upturned into a smile. She leaned back and traced her fingers across her lips. Just to make sure she didn’t imagine it, she pulled the boy towards her by the collar and planted one more kiss on him—and she noted that he kissed back with the same fervor.

“I have a crush on you Steve Harrington.” She said, hiding her blushing face from the boy. He turned her face towards him as he confessed,

“I’ve had a crush on you for like 3 months.”

“You have?”

“Yeah.” He said, his thumb gently grazing her cheek.

“Why?”

“Dustin talks about you enough, and I—uh I remembered all the times you’ve kicked ass over the past few years and it just kinda…happened. Who wouldn’t want someone as smart, badass, and beautiful as you?” He rambled our haphazardly, a blush forming across his cheeks as well.

“Steve…”

“Oh god, that was embarrassing, am I blushing? I feel like I’m blushing. fuck me.” Steve started rambling.

“Hey! It’s not embarrassing, it’s cute.” Y/N explained, but it didn’t seem to help. An idea flashed in her mind. “Oh no! You are so embarrassing, I am embarrassed. Ew, guess I

I’ll just have to close my eyes! I hope that embarrassing Steve Harrington doesn’t kiss me!” The sarcastic tone from earlier returning once more. A chuckle bubbled past Steve’s lips. He once more laid one on her, this time—a little bit more passionate than the past.

Y/N nuzzled herself into Steve’s side on the small beach chair they were on. The air sat comfortably still in that moment, the two reeling from the overwhelming emotions they had just felt. Quiet giggles pierce the air as Y/N studies her fingers.

“It worked.” She said matter of factly.

“What worked?”

“After you kissed it, I haven’t thought about it since. You made it better.” Y/N spoke melodically. Steve planted a kiss to the top of her head and pulled her closer in to him.

“Kiss it, make it better.” He repeated once more.

[forsworned]

can i request a Rengoku x fem or male reader where he becomes completely smitten with the reader after they always make him snacks (and then some). mayybe he confesses in the end, idkk✨

[♥] love confession. {renguko kyoujurou x reader}

Genre: Fluff, Fluff and more Fluff!!

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Renguko Kyoujurou/Reader

Word count: 1,839

a/n: ahhhh!! i'm so sorry this took me so long to make. i hate writing when i'm not in the mood bc it signifiicantly depletes the quality of my writing and that's just no fair for you guys, i hope ypu enjoy this :) requests are open!

To say that Kyoujurou simply enjoyed snacks was an understatement. He was a snack fiend. He had a bad habit of carrying snacks anywhere and everywhere. Compliments to Mitsuri for making him pick it up.

[Name] would watch him pull them out of his sleeves. His uniform pockets and occasionally from in between the buttons of uniform. On multiple occasions, he’d sneak some mini taiyaki and other times senbei. When she was around him and she’d catch him, he laugh at himself and offer her some, which of course she would never deny. Kyoujurou was too cute to deny in her eyes.

Until one day, she had noticed that he hadn’t been snacking all day. Not once, not even a nibble and even that was enough to spark some suspicion on her end.

[Name] pondered all the times she had seen him that day and each time she had remembered, he seemed a little sad. Was it because he ran out of them?

Just then she had conjured up an idea. What if I made a bunch of his favorite snacks? That would definitely cheer him up!

Honestly, [Name] would do anything to see him smile and she would stop at nothing to get it. And slowly, but surely, that is exactly what she did.

It became a daily routine to bring Kyoujurou any snack she knew he would enjoy. And of course, he would accept every time because he simply could not get enough of [Name's] homemade snacks. Every time that he would ask what she would add to her food, she would insist that the secret ingredient was "love".

Which would obviously fly over his head (god bless his heart) because Kyoujurou was so oblivious it hurt. But like [Name] had firmly stated with all her heart. She wouldn't stop at nothing to get what she wanted. And what she wanted was Kyoujurou. So like any corny, cliche storyline, [Name] had told Kyoujurou that she planned a sort of taste testing for an upcoming cooking competition she had.

But like the good spirited man Kyoujurou was, he happily agreed. He would do anything to help his fellow comrades out. [Name] could jump for joy, but she held it in and instead gave him a time to meet up her place. Kyoujurou smiled his usual smile before bowing.

"See you then!"

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

By this time, she had already been in the kitchen for over two hours now whipping up a bunch of Kyoujurou's favorite snacks. The oven dinged signaling that her sweet potatoes were done. She pulled them out and set them down on the counter. [Name] was delighted with herself because not only was she done, but she had successfully prepared everything. The sweet potatoes were roasted to perfection and she set the scallion butter she also made on the side.

Now she had sakura mochi, senbei and takoyai. She wanted to keep it both sweet and savory so that he could enjoy both equally. All that was left was to surprise him.

[Name] pulled her pocket watch out of her breast pocket and checked the time.

He should be here any minute.

Her heart was pounding in her chest the more she thought about it. Somehow she had mustered up the courage to ask Kyoujurou to come to her humble abode--alone. And (mostly) happily obliged. There was still the lingering sadness about him that made her heart ache.

"[Name]?' She heard his voice call out and her anxiety peaked as she rushed to the door with a scarf in her hand.

"Yes, stay right there, please!"

And immediately he halted all actions and words. [Name] opened her door to see the fiery blonde smiling brightly at her and her breath caught in her throat.

"Hello, [Name]." His expression now slightly surprised, mouth in an "o" shape as he points to her cheek. "What's this?"

[Name's] cheeks dusted with a pink hue as she swiped her face and looked at her finger to see flour on it. She seemed alarmed which was enough to cause him to laugh at her.

"You wanted to show me something?" His voice soft now. And it took every once of [Name] to look him in the eyes and when she did, she could tell the same sadness was clouding his gaze.

She gulped and nodded her head as she pulled put the scarf. "You gotta put this on first."

Kyoujurou's cheeks visibly pinkened but he agreed and bent his head down as [Name] gently wrapped the makeshift blindfold around his eyes. Her fingers brushing against his skin was enough to send a shiver down his spine as she felt the wisps of her hair tickle her skin. She tightened the knot and Kyoujurou felt a lump form in his throat.

Her hands now in his as she tugged him along to her kitchen. Neither of them spoke as she led them there. Just two hearts thumping silently against their chests, unbeknownst to one another.

"You can take it off now." Her voice barely a whisper, but he heard quite well.

Her unraveled the loose knot and his eyes were now fully uncovered. Kyoujurou felt his heart stammer a bit , while his fiery orbs widened in blissful surprise.

"Surprise!" She cheered and she jumped with arms wide.

Kyoujurou did not move, just simply stood there speechless. His eyes carefully scanned the counter that was filled with his favorite treats and then to [Name]. He didn't know how to feel in that moment. He didn't know another human being was capable of making him feel a million and one emotions all at once. No one had ever done him such a courtesy and it made his heart swell.

His silence caused [Name] to twiddle her fingers nervously awaiting a response.

"Do you not like it?" Her voice was a squeak now. He gulped as he blinked back the tears stinging at his eyes. And then he did something that [Name] least expected. He had enveloped her in his warmth and squeezed her with such tenderness that she had never felt before.

"Thank you, [Name]." He breathed out. His chin sat on her shoulder blade as he closed his eyes and a small tear slipped out. He quickly wiped it away before pulling back and looking at [Name] who was staring at him with broadened [e/c] hues.

"No one has ever done me the honor of blessing me with such a thoughtful surprise." His smile was bright and cheery as ever. [Name] felt like her heart was going to implode.

"I'm in love with you."

She just blurted it out. Not intentionally. It just kind of came out. So abruptly in fact, that Kyoujurou immediately started to burn up. No one had ever confessed to him (false, many have confessed but he always took it as admiration and would pat them on the shoulder and smile completely oblivious).

"Eh?"

Was all that came out of his mouth. He didn't know [Name] liked him like that?! Sure she was super pretty, but Kyoujurou always thought she would take a liking to Giyuu since she was always poking at him trying to get him to talk. It's not that he didn't find her attractive, he very much did. But, again, it just absolutely threw him off because in his mind she could have any man she desired. But him? She liked, no--loved him?

"Ah! I mean--I--"

[Name] was at an unfortunate loss for words and she couldn't do anything to take it back, so she just braced herself for the consequences.

"Y-you're--" He pointed to her. "in love with me?" He then pointed to himself in shock. And [Name] thought she was going to pass out.

"Uh, yes. I am in love with you, Kyoujurou. I hope that this doesn't ruin our friendship..."

[Name] felt defeated at this point. She really couldn't tell if he felt embarrassed because he didn't return her feelings or not. Kyoujurou finally swallowed the lump in his throat. He noticed that [Name] was on edge and obviously needed an answer and none of his antsiness.

"I didn't think I was your type. I am extremely flattered." He deadpanned as he bowed respectfully in most erect manner.

[Name] felt an embarrassed sweat drop on the back of her head form.

"Y-you are?"

"Yes! I would find it most desirable if we formed an intimate bond!"

"Uh, Kyoujurou."

"Yes!"

"You can stop bowing now."

"Right!"

Kyoujurou was met with [Name's] glimmering eyes and flushed face and he saw her for more than his fellow comrade.

"Do you mean that." She hesitantly stepped forward. He courageously embraced her face with the rough palms of his hands against her smooth skin.

"Yes, I do. It would be an honor to have you by my side. If you would let me, of course." His voice smooth and even as he spoke. An illusion Kyoujurou had to conjure up to steady his beating heart.

"The honor is mine."

[Name's] face leaned forward and he felt her breath delicately aerating against his skin. And that's when his illusion broke because Kyoujurou had turned just as fiery red as the hair on his head and turned away in agitation.

[Name] was confused by his sudden humiliation. Did her breath smell bad?

"M-my apologies. I just got a little apprehensive when you got close." He gulped dryly as he peeped at her expression, but [Name] just burst into laughter.

She didn't think she had the capability of turning Kyoujurou into a flustered mess, nevertheless here he was doing just that. Oh, how the tables have turned.

"We don't need to rush anything, Kyo." She held a hand over mouth to hide her delight.

His blush intensified at the nickname. How much more was she going to embarrass him?!

She grabbed his hand and led him to the table where she was going to set everything up.

"Let's eat."

He followed her lead and sat adjacent from her and instantly his mouth watered as she set the dishes in front of them

"Thank you, again, [Name]. Really."

[Name] waved a hand as if to reassure him it was nothing as she took a chunk out of her sakura mochi. He quietly took a bite from his sweet potatoes and he was filled immediately with the void he had developed from years of coldness.

Soft, supple lips found themselves on his cheek and he felt his face flare up mid bite. [Name's] melodious laugh filled the room as she confidently took a bite from his chopsticks. Oh yes, the tables have indeed turned.

"Thank you for coming." She flirted as she made her fingers walk on his lap. His eyes followed them as they got closer to his upper thigh and he wondered where the shy [Name] had went. Another fit of laughter bubbled out of her throat as she faltered to the tatami mat.

"You are so cute, Kyo!"

It was only the beginning of [Name] driving Kyoujurou insane.

[sparklingsad]

title: out of my mind (part 8)

characters: baji x reader, toman peeps 🤍

prompt: you don’t know if you should tell baji you like him because is he even interested in other people?

summary: here’s what baji decides to do after his talk with his friends!

a/n: hello everyone!! We’re getting near the end of this story. Whew! I’m super thankful that you guys continue to read my work 🥺 also i did have a lot of fun writing this part! It’s kinda long?? I felt that I was on a roll when I was doing this just a bunch of idea going here and there. Then voila! Here we have part 8! I hope I make you guys happy or make you day a little better with my updates 🥺 thanks for all the reblogs!! It makes my heart so so full when I think about that you guys think this is worth reblogging shhdjsbs ILY ALL SO SO MUCH. Even if we may be reaching the end of this series again TAGLIST IS OPEN FOR THIS FIC just dm me to be included

Series list: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 9

Shit. Okay, I must do this.

These are the first words that popped into Baji’s mind the moment he opened his eyes and his vision hits the bulb above his bed. The sun’s not out yet, but he’s already wide awake.

Ever since he’s heard your confession from the other day, his thoughts are constantly in a mess, and to add to that, his friends are pushing him to an edge where he doesn’t know what will happen if he falls.

But he needs to talk to you.

So he starts his day in a routine that he’s never had before.

5:30 am flashes on the clock placed near his bed. He’d woken up even before his clock stars blaring again in a tone he hates that wakes him up every damn time it plays, he sleeps after he violently taps the alarm off though — but today was different.

He didn’t take too much time processing things after waking up and he immediately proceeded to fix his bed. Folding his blankets, fluffing the pillows, and neatly stacking them before the bed’s headboard.

He then walked towards the bathroom, brushed his teeth, went to shower, and wore his uniform. He set up the cat food by his window earlier, though there are no cats yet as the critters know their food comes after the sun had risen.

When he grabbed his bag and went out for breakfast, his mom was surprised that she did not need to shout thrice before Baji stands up and gets ready for school.

Today, he is out early, he said his greetings, ate quietly, thanked her for the meal, and left the apartment -- but not without giving his mom a kiss on the cheek and a wide grin before heading out.

He also didn’t stop by the second floor today, he thought he needed more time to prepare himself and talk to you this morning. You were never late, so he needs to be there first.

On the train station, he kept on fiddling with the wires of his earphones. He was listening to a playlist he’s made over a few years ago, but he couldn’t tell which song was playing because he got his mind running in laps thinking about what he should tell you.

Fuck.

Ironic how he wants to speak with you, but he doesn’t even know what he should say when he sees you — blood and flesh in front of him.

Before he reaches school, he passed by a small konbini and decided to drop by to get anything that he could give you that can help him get a head start for the conversation. Good thing he’s found strawberry milk near the counter and bought it before heading straight to school.

On the way there, he keeps on subtly looking left and right in the hopes of seeing you walking, and maybe he could start the conversation there too. But to no avail, no one in a champagne-tinted cardigan showed up that morning. That color always catches his eye because yours is just a bit more sparkly than the others.

When he's reached the floor of your classrooms, he made sure to walk a bit more slowly while passing by your classroom. Of course Draken and Mikey aren't in there yet, but it was also surprising that not a trace of you was there.

7: 08 am -- it is unusual that it's less than half an hour before classes start and you're still nowhere to be found.

Lost in his thoughts, Baji almost did not notice Chifuyu who has been sitting beside his desk for the past 5 minutes now just peacefully listening to music.

"Oh what the fuck. Ya scared me for a minute there!" Baji yelped as soon as he noticed Chifuyu who was drumming his desk, engulfed in whatever he's listening to.

"Huh?" Chifuyu asks as he removes one earphone to hear his friend better.

"Nothin. I just didn't notice you're here already," he said looking back at the window, overseeing the school's field.

"It's 'cause you're mind's elsewhere again Baji-san," he plainly states, scrolling back to his playlist.

"I really want to talk to her. I really do. But for some goddamn fucking reason I can't see her anywhere," Baji said glaring at the strawberry milk that has been sitting on his desk since the moment he entered the room.

"Maybe she's busy doing festival work again," Chifuyu said, finally taking off both earphones to help out a distressed Baji.

Baji did not say anything but just gave him a confused look, surprised at his best guess.

"What? Didn't they say yesterday in the assembly that today's gonna be dedicated to festival prep? Maybe she's in the council room finalizing things and shit," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh fuck. Out of all the days that I actually want to talk to her," Baji slams a hand on his desk.

"But you've had that all year long Baji-san," Chifuyu playfully comments.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just shut the fuck up," Baji's face crumples in annoyance and his friend let out a small laugh.

It's almost half the day already, and Baji hasn't seen you yet. Not even a glimpse of you throughout the day and it's making his head spin.

"Baji, are you gonna eat this?" Mikey points at his friend's opened bento box that has gone cold.

"What?" he looked at his friend and followed his hand, "Ah yeah. Sure," he mumbles soft and low.

Mikey raises his eyebrow at his friend's unusual demeanor this whole day. Although for today they just helped their class rearrange and decorate the classroom for the upcoming festival, Chifuyu can obviously notice how much he's spaced out. It can be seen through the traces of glue and paint on his trousers. His fingers even soaked in tints of yellow and orange -- the one he's been asked to color the class' cafe signage. He wasn't that clumsy. No. He's just really not himself today.

"Baji," Draken calls out on his friend. "Is this about y/n again?" Draken nonchalantly pointed out the elephant in the room that no one has dared to speak of.

"Yeah," Baji said without second thoughts. At this point he knows he needs to talk about you, he needs to talk to you.

"I want to talk to her," he adds after finally looking at his friends who are looking at him intently as well.

"But I can't get a chance to," his voice laced with frustration.

"Well, y/n told us she'll be out of the class the whole day. Apparently, her role has something to do with the overall festival for our year so, yeah," Mikey said.

"Why not text her though? I'm pretty sure she'll respond," Kazutora suggests looking up from his phone.

"Yeah but she's might make up an excuse or whatever the fuck that can make this already harder than it already is," Baji said as he buries his face into his own palms.

"Oh, someone's persistent, huh?" Mitsuya said as he seats right next to Chifuyu.

"Shut up Mitsuya." Baji protests.

"Where have you been anyway Mitsuya-san?" Chifuyu asks.

"Well, Home Ec's pretty busy. We're asked to assist with the festival with the costume and all, it's a nice way to earn for the club," he lets out a mischievous smile.

"So, what're you gonna do now Baji?" Mitsuya continues as he breaks his chopsticks apart.

"I don't know. I'm probably done for,"

"Woah. Why say that? Did she say she hates you though?" Mitsuya stopped eating his lunch.

"Is there a reason not to? I've looked like a complete idiot in front of her and I made her feel the same way -- not that I mean it. but still--," he suddenly took a pause.

"Anyway, I gotta go. Just give back the bento, Mikey. Mom's gonna kill me if I lose that," he said as he walks away from their table.

"Got ya," Mikey says.

And just like that Baji found himself walking aimlessly as his friends stare at his back slowly moving away from them.

Upon walking and walking, Baji found himself taking the stairs to the rooftop.

This feels nice. No one should be here.

As soon as he opens the door, the wind gusts past his face, and his hair danced in the direction of the wind. For the first time today, he could feel that he could actually breathe.

Arms on top of the railing, the long-forgotten strawberry milk in one hand, he wonders why he is so desperate to talk to you. Not like you're mad at him the last time you talked. But you were definitely not the y/n that always greeted him -- all smiles and warm welcome even if you do not spend so much time together. The way you parted last time just felt so empty to him. No warm smiles, see you later, no nudges, and no gazes his way. None. He did not pay so much attention to it before, but now that it's not the case anymore, it feels wrong(?).

He took a deep sigh overlooking the fields and the busy people walking around like ants at work.

"Achoo!"

Baji heard a sneeze near the entrance of the rooftop, and as he turns his head, `the one thing he's been looking for had suddenly showed in front of him.

"Y/n?" he asked softly as he walks towards you.

"Huh?" you said blinking your eyes and fetching your handkerchief from your cardigan's pocket. "Oh, Baji!" you said surprised as your vision clears.

"What are you doing here?" you asked him as you continued to walk around the corner. "Where's everyone? You're not with them?"

"Oh well, I kinda walked around and just ended up here I guess," he shrugged his shoulder.

"Hmm, I see. Can you hold his for me?" you said as you handed him a clipboard full of papers and reports bunched up together.

"O-oh. Okay." he said and he just follow you around.

"So what're are ya doin' up here, y/n?" Baji asks in return.

"Well, I'm in charge of ensuring all classes in our level look decent for the festival so I'm up here checking the props each class has made," you said, inspecting each painted carton that's neatly organized on the floor.

"You've been a lot busier lately, ya know," Baji says as they continue to walk around.

"Hm? You think so? I think you're busy yourself too," you said spinning to face him pointing at his trousers.

"Oh! Uh, this! I- uh," he can feel his face flush when you suddenly looked at him, with a nice smile plastered on your face teasing him with his paint-stained pants.

"Not so good with the paint, huh?" you let out a chuckle that made his heart race even more.

He feels like his soul's going to leave his body.

He can't even hit you with his usual retorts, his mind can't fathom anything. Not like this. Not seeing you this blissful in front of him.

"Well, this festival's lotta work," he said with his hair down, hoping that those long locks of his could shade the blush on his cheeks.

"Mhm," you hum in response. "We have to enjoy it when it comes then," you said to him.

"Okay, that's all!" You said to conclude your visit to the rooftop.

When it's time for Baji to give back your clipboard he suddenly remembered that he's also holding the milk box that he's supposed to give you.

"A'right here ya go," he said extending his hand to give you your things, including the milk he's got.

"Oh you forgot this," you said as soon as you saw the milk that's been resting on top of your papers.

"Oh no, that.. that one's for ya," he said bashfully.

"Oh. Thank you then!" you then punched the straw into the milk and started drinking it.

"Um, I have to go now s--" Baji cuts you off before you even finish your goodbye.

"Say, y/n.." he said, now completely different from his bashful state.

"Are we..." he searched for the right words before completing his sentence and you only looked at him in confusion.

"Hm?"

"Are we..."

"..okay?" he finally said.

Goddamnit! Of all the words I chose the vaguest of the vague. What a fucking idiot, Baji thought.

"Huh?" for a second you got lost in his question but the moment you caught a glimpse of his eyes, you already knew what he was talking about.

"That.. um. Well, it has come to this huh?" you gave him a faint smile, and your eyes reflecting defeat.

"Well first of all I just wanted to say--" before Baji could explain himself, you raised your hand to stop him.

"Baji," you paused for a while, "Uh, Kei? Let me call you that, I've always wanted to" you chuckled a little.

"You don't have to say anything," you smiled at him, looking at his eyes directly this time.

"I mean it," you could feel that tears are threatening to fall down your cheeks but you tried to keep a straight face.

"I really do. So you don't have to feel any guilt," your grip tightens on the milk box you're holding.

"I'm not mad at you, you know? I don't blame you for anything,"

"These," you gesture to yourself

"All of these are my feelings, and I'm sorry if I let it all spilled without any warning," you said now not making any eye contact with him and you let your eyes wander on the concrete below you.

"I'm not spending as much time with you not because I hate you. It's because I feel like my feelings for you is everything that I have left in me, and I -- "

Shit. You can feel your own eyes are about to betray you.

"I don't want to feel empty if you do not feel the same," you struggled to get the words out and you're choking back on them.

"But y/n.." Baji is still processing everything you have said.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Oh! Um, look at that! It's time already. Got to go now, Baji!" you said as you hurried to turn your back on him.

When you got out of his sight, you immediately went to the bathroom. Tears are already on the rim of your eyes and your face is flushed -- trying too hard to hold back tears in front of Baji.

Breath in. Breath out.

You know this won't be as easy, but at least you got to voice out what you wanted to say. You hold no grudge against him, but you feel like you should hold yourself more up.

You went out of the bathroom stall and washed your face to keep a fresh look despite being on the brink of crying moments ago.

"Y/n, you're going to be alright," you whisper to yourself, and you've felt your phone vibrate inside your pocket.

Baji looked dumbfounded after you left him on the rooftop.

"Huh? W-what?" his mind can't comprehend everything that had transpired. One moment he's asking you a vague question and then the second he blinks you're already rushing to chase after the bell.

He came looking for you the whole day wanting to talk to you, but then the moment he's actually found you, you did all the talking and he was able to say nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

"Just what in the goddamn fuck happened? I am the one who's supposed to talk to her and---" Baji's lost for words at his frustration. And what's worse is that the talking completely took a different turn than he wanted to.

This is supposed to make things okay again between you right? How did it end up like this?

The moment Baji shows up in the classroom, Chifuyu noticed the distressed look on his face. He's even tied his hair up --something he only does when he fights -- and he enters the room looking like he's ready to commit murder anytime.

"Baji-san," Chifuyu hesitantly approaches his captain.

But before Chifuyu can even meet him eye to eye, Baji slumps down on his seat then buried his face on his desk.

"Chifuyu, I might need a whole peyoung to myself later," Baji says dejectedly.

"Huh? Peyoung? Why so suddenly? Wa--" As Chifuyu floods in his questions he suddenly understood what was going on.

"You saw her didn't you?" Chifuyu asks

Baji only hums in response.

"And it didn't go well?" he continues.

"Damn right," Baji says with the desk muffling his voice.

"Do you know why it didn't go well?" Chifuyu asks again, folding paper origamis on his desk.

Of course, he knows full well why it didn't go right. He did not even get the chance to explain himself, let alone tell her the things he wanted to.

"Right. I shouldn't be fucking sitting here,"

A/n: lou @clec10 and nat @hanabihwa tysm for checking up on me while i work on this update ily both :’))

Taglist: @hanabihwa @q-the-rockaholic @prettysettersq @tsumusfattytuna @galaxyfruits

[dropsofletters]

the whisper in the obvious [bbh]

—summary: she hasn’t had enough time in her life to date because of her work. in order to fill the void of romantic intimacy and domesticity, she lurks online for brief videos or recordings to make her feel better. it works for a while, much more when she finds a man who does boyfriend roleplays—blue moon. it’s not like she’ll ever get to know him, right?

baekhyun doesn’t have much luck in romance. whoever he dates end up either cheating on him or turning their dates into the worst date of his life. growing older by the day, without someone by his side and a job that he hates, he creates a patreon account where he pretends to be people’s boyfriends…blue moon, he has called himself. it’s not like someone he knows will look him up, right?

they’re completely wrong, that’s for sure.

—title: the whisper in the obvious —pairing: byun baekhyun x reader —genre: friends who banter to crushes to lovers!au ; anonymous asmrtist!au ; technician!au ; doctor!au ; meet messy!au —type: fluff ; humor ; angst ; suggestive ; slowburn —word count: 18,768 —warnings: mentions of sex (though the act is never shown on the narrative on itself), alcohol, some descriptions of sicknesses and wounds but nothing graphic.

This is downright pathetic.

Aching limbs flail on each side of her body as she lays on her bed, splayed much like a star as her eyes set on the ceiling. Her earbuds let a manly, somewhat lighthearted voice breathe out words in a faceless manner, straight from a monthly subscription to a Patreon account. Had anyone told her that the only way she could ever get the relief of having a relationship when she became an adult was going to be through a man speaking softly into a microphone about how her day was and what she had eaten, giving vague answers whatsoever, she would have probably given them a laugh.

But life is laughing now, because time runs too quickly during the day when she works in the ER, and it has been well over two years since the last time she had any kind of physical touch with a man. Period. Most times, she doesn’t need it—what can be done by a man to her body can be done by herself much easier, but the kind of warmth that comes from a cuddling session after a tiring day and the endless conversations that come with having someone by her side that she wholeheartedly trusts, only to receive a kiss of comfort at the very end, has long died in her routine.

Now, all she has left is the company of some stranger that has a quite wide fanbase for his boyfriend roleplays—pathetic, she wants to call herself once again, but Blue Moon Whispers does the trick. She gets a boyfriend that she doesn’t have to talk to throughout the day, that cares for her like no one will and a plus, of course, that she’s not the only one that spends money on a man doing this for her.

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic.

Yet, she closes her eyes, tries to even out her breaths when Blue Moon speaks into the microphone. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” He drags the last few words, a sigh following his statement before he chuckles softly. “My job is so boring. I’m really good at it, but…I don’t know, it’s not what anyone would want to do for the rest of their lives.”

She tries not to wonder about his workplace. Maybe, he’s a nine-to-five worker, or with that voice, he could be one of those telephone workers that pick up sex-lines calls in order to please other people. She could imagine it, there’s some mischief in his tone that tells her he’s not just quite as sweet as his voice recordings.

Humming, she tugs her covers up her neck, listening to more of what he says.

“But enough about me, how was work for you?” Terrible. Working as a doctor is far more difficult than studying for it, and she felt like tugging at her eyeballs when being in med school. Constantly being screamed at by specialists and being questioned by family members when she gives a diagnosis is not quite what she imagined, and her blood pressure is up the roof when she has to save someone last minute. Tonight, she had a patient with atherosclerosis have a heart attack and it was quite possibly the most stressful time of the day. The patient is alive, thankfully.

“I see…” Almost as if he has heard her internal rant, Blue Moon responds. “But I’m here to distract you, aren’t I?” His voice drops at that moment, pressing a kiss into the microphone that has a smile appearing on her features. Okay. Pathetic, has she said that already? She feels like a teenager at this point. “What do you want to watch tonight?”

Her voice gets caught in her throat when she thinks of the first show that comes to mind.

“The Rookie, right?”

Wait, how did he know what kind of show she wanted to watch?

Blue Moon was, quite possibly, the only man that had fit her just right…and that comes from someone who pays a stranger on Patreon to get her dose of domesticity. Her past boyfriends, though not many, always felt lacking. Assholes, for the most part, she adores someone who shows their true colors at the very end and they end up being the most rancid shade of poop-colored brown. The sarcasm is ever present, but all her past boyfriends have been close to pieces of shit, if not entirely so.

It’s not a surprise that she did not try again. Her thirties are only getting closer and she can’t bring herself to put her dating profile out there again. It’s scary, downright stupid and she knows that it won’t ever end well.

“Let me cuddle closer to you—”

Someone shouts her name at the top of her lungs in a sing-song tone, and she recognizes the deep voice quite well. Chohee, her friend and next-door neighbor, is the only person to use her spare key for whatever excuse she has inside her head and invite herself inside her apartment as if she pays half the rent. Just as her fingers fiddle to get her earphones out, sitting up on the bed with widened eyes, Chohee opens the door, pushing her long black hair off her shoulder.

“I brought some cheeseburgers—” At the steady rise and fall of her chest and her disheveled hair—in her defense, today’s day of work had been hell—, Chohee stops speaking. “Were you watching porn?”

What is easier in this ungodly situation of adult life, to admit that she’s hearing a man speaking into her ear while pretending to be her boyfriend, or that she is watching something quite relatively normal? “Yeah.” The latter is easier. She doesn’t want Chohee peeping into her stuff.

Chohee purses her thin lips coated in a glimmer of gloss. “Do you want me to leave you to it or…?”

Well, that option was awkward as well. She could’ve denied both. Shit.

“No, it’s fine. I—It’s not…It wasn’t…It wasn’t doing the trick, I guess.” Locking her phone, she pushes it underneath her pillow before patting the spot in front of her. Chohee takes it without much of a question on the tip of her tongue.

“I hate when that happens.” With that, Chohee tugs at her phone, trying to unlock it—and fuck, she really does know the password. “But I’ve been subscribing to OnlyFans accounts instead. There are some really cute guys there—”

Alert. Red alert. She can’t let Chohee look at the most simplistic of intimacy in the form of an online boyfriend, that only lasts a few minutes to an hour with her. “Uh, Chohee, you don’t have to.”

“No, girl, I have to.” Chohee says, splaying the plastic bag of cheeseburgers on the bed just as she’s reaching forward for her. The taller woman ducks back, trying to unlock her phone. “You haven’t been with a man in a while, I need to help you make your alone time as worthy as possible. I think—”

“Chohee, don’t check my phone.”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve seen dicks. You have definitely seen dicks.” Chohee rolls her eyes just as she takes her phone in between her fingers, but never does she once relent on letting go of it, tugging at it instead. “What’s the problem?”

“I just don’t want you to look at it.”

“But why are you so ashamed? It’s really nothing you should be embarrassed about—”

Between the tugging back and forth, her phone clashes against the flooring, enough to make her widen her eyes when she sees it falling face down. “Shit.” She curses, ignoring the apologies that rake from Chohee’s vocabulary when she lowers herself to pick it up.

The screen is broken and when her thumb presses on the button, the screen lights up in different colors of the rainbow, and she can’t even see the lock-screen.

“Is it broken?”

She scoffs. “Shattered. Broken. Destroyed. What’s another synonym?”

“In my defense,” Chohee says and the chewing that comes soon after tells her that she’s already diving into those cheeseburgers. “You were the one hiding your porn from me. Are you into feet or shit like that?”

She clutches her fists together. “I’m into men eating shit, that’s exactly it.” She replies sarcastically, turning around to watch Chohee staring at her with surprise. A sigh leaves her lips. “I’m kidding, but now I need to get my phone fixed. My patients and other doctors contact me through here.”

Her friend swats her hand in the air. “Baek can fix it.”

Oh, over her dead body.

Byun Baekhyun is Chohee’s best friend, annoyance on legs, too overexcited, the kind of child teachers had a headache for. Baekhyun has been in her life for more than six years, as long as Chohee had been—the man that drunkenly screamed her name at the top of his lungs during her graduation, or the one that almost ran over her foot at his birthday party when he was learning how to drive and didn’t know how to park backwards. Baekhyun, though great, is just the type of person she can’t stand for more than an hour. Let alone for fixing her phone.

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Chohee corrects. “You know he wouldn’t ask you for money just to fix your screen.”

“Still,” Something for free sounds excellent at this time where Chohee interrupted my time with my faux boyfriend and also destroyed my phone in the matter of minutes, but I have to deny it. “You know how Baekhyun is. He’ll probably be asking me a bunch of questions—”

“And?”

“I don’t enjoy people prying into my business.”

Chohee smiles at that, pushing her black bangs away from her small face. “He doesn’t do it with a bad heart,” She tells. “Part of me thinks Baekhyun just doesn’t like feeling lonely, so he speaks a lot just to…have attention. It’s the child in him. Let him.”

Somehow, guilt takes over my body. Maybe, I’ve been too harsh judging the man. “…Okay.” I breathe out, standing up and moving towards the bed, laying parallel to Chohee before taking a bite of her cheeseburger. “Tell him I will be at his workplace tomorrow morning. At like eight, I have a shift tomorrow.”

“Why don’t you tell him?”

Waving my phone into the air, I sigh. “Someone decided to break my phone.”

“Right…”

I can already tell it’s going to be a long week.

###  

An engineering degree could only get him so far. Or, if he had completed his time in that engineering program, he may have had his own office by age twenty-eight, or at least, would have had the opportunity for a better salary. Baekhyun had heard it from his mom that he’d regret dropping out of university, but only now does it really become something that he thinks of.

For one, the morning is too dimmed to let the turquoise on his chemise shine brightly—he has to wear the same uniform every single day, tucked inside his jeans, accompanied by a dangling presentation card on his neck. The picture comes from when he was twenty-three, when he started working here, but he has been a technician ever since.

When he opted for this job, he thought he’d be like the others. Spend one year or two here, then flee away for something better. That didn’t happen, and with each portion of his life slipping away from his fingertips, he’s left to find other ways to meet ends as he mirrors himself on the oldest phone technician at his work place.

Suhyuk, above his fifties, working here for more than ten years. His wife divorced him just because he had not moved on with his life, and his children buy Samsung just not to have him fixing their iPhones.

Not even Suhyuk is here at such an early morning. Had it not been for Chohee’s constant texts, he would’ve probably gotten to work a bit later.

Yet, someone is already waiting for him. Chohee’s neighbor, his friend-that-doesn’t-really-want-to-be-friends-with-him, seated on the sidewalk, with her back leaning against the glassed door of his workplace.

“You’re here early.”

She scoffs, standing up when he extends his hand forward. She is not exactly his type, but his eyes rake down her body for a fraction of a second longer than usual. She’s not wearing scrubs, that’s new. “No, you’re here late.” Her fingers point at the watch under her dark denim jacket. “We said seven thirty. It’s eight thirteen.”

Baekhyun runs his fingers through his black hair, playing with the keys dangling from his elegant and long fingers before starting to open the door. “Who is awake at seven thirty?”

“Everyone who has a job, douchebag.” There it is. The name. Baekhyun can practically count with his fingers the number of insults people have thrown at him—all in different occasions and under different circumstances, but the only one he doesn’t feel particularly offended by is the ones she tells him. Douchebag, she had started to call him on his twenty-fifth birthday, when she had eavesdropped on his conversation with Chanyeol about Scarlett Johansson’s tit—

“I don’t get it. Why do you keep calling me a douchebag?” Baekhyun questions, opening the glassed doors and letting his finger twirl against the switch until all the white lights across his workplace brighten the white, spotless place.

She moves behind him, following after his steps and responding with what he can judge as a smile on her tone. “You’re just one.”

“You’ve been calling me that for years,” He says. “And just because I said Scarlett Johansson has nice tits. I didn’t even say tits, I said breasts. I was a whole nerd about it and you called me a douche—”

She chuckles at his words, the melody somewhat foreign. Serious has taken over every portion of her life, and he thinks it has been years since the last time he has seen her actually grin with happiness. He gets behind the counter, taking the phone that she lends him before looking at the screen.

Cracked as cracked can be.

This screams Chohee.

“I know what you said, and it wasn’t breasts.”

Baekhyun looks up, fixing the rounded glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I know what I said.”

“I’ve read enough textbooks to have photographic and audible memory. You said,” She clears her throat then, making her voice a bit higher than her usual tone. That’s not his voice, he thinks to himself. “If I had to convert to a religion, it’d be Scarlett Johansson’s boobs. Can’t believe Ryan Reynolds dated her and I didn’t.”

Taking a small screwdriver between his hands, a smile takes over his features. Yeah, so he was drunk and he may have said that, but— “I said boobs.”

“Breasts, boobs, tits, fat with nipples, it’s all very douchey, if you ask me.”

“I was just saying something that I’m sure a lot of people think.” Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders, his frame looking slimmer on the oversized chemise. Definitely not very fitting for him. “Look me in the eye and tell me she doesn’t have nice boobs.”

“She does.”

“Well, then?” Baekhyun puts the screen to the side, kneeling down to search through his utensils. “It’s not cool that you don’t call me by my name.”

“It just rolls off easier. Douchebag.” She elongates the words then, leaning her elbows against the counter as she tries to connect her gaze to Baekhyun’s. The man stands up then, just as she continues with her train of thought. “As if Scarlett would have dated you over Ryan Reynolds.”

Baekhyun widens his eyes. “You don’t know that!”

“Of course, I know!” She replies. “Ryan Reynolds could break you in half with just one hand and you still think that she’d pick you?”

“I happen to have a nice body, too…you…”

“You’re trying to look for an insult?” With cheeks tinted red, he looks down at her phone, trying to work through the broken screen before his body jolts at the sound of her voice. “You can call me ‘bitch’ if you’d like.”

Wait. Pause.

Baekhyun squints his eyes, a strand of his hair curling against his forehead when he looks at her. “The real question is…do I want to die today?”

“Come on, I call you a douchebag, it’s only fair if you call me a bitch.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, returning to his work. “You’d kill me, and I’m not sure I want to anger someone who knows the human body better than anyone else.”

Truth is, Baekhyun has always thought of her as an ideal when it comes to success. Never giving up, even when her career will never let her stop studying. God, he can’t imagine how difficult it is to read as much as she does.

“If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve done so by now.” The somberness of her voice does nothing to him. He has heard that before, as wicked as it sounds. “Come on, call me a bitch.”

“I won’t—”

“Just once. I don’t want to feel bad.”

“I—”

“Baekhyun, this is the only and last time I’ll ask. If not, I’ll start calling you a bitch myself.”

“Okay, bitch, calm down.” He finalizes, laughter following his statement when he sees her lips parting in surprise. “You told me to say it!”

“That came out a little too naturally—”

Baekhyun squares his shoulders then, ready to throw a joke her way only to see her more annoyed. His specialty. “Maybe, I’ve had one girl or two asking me to call her that.”

She rolls her eyes at his words. “And then you wonder why I call you a douchebag.” She adds. “I can’t imagine one single woman who would like to date you.”

He can imagine a few, but that’s not something she knows about. Baekhyun has always prided himself on one thing—on his voice and his way of getting someone to like him. Only that it comes with a downside: he doesn’t know how to pick the right women. So, more often than not, his dates ended up in disasters, relationships tangled in cheating and of course, how to forget? The day he decided to create his own ASMR Patreon channel for boyfriend roleplays just because he needed some money, only to end up with over thirteen thousand faux partners.

These days, people have wanted him to venture more into a world of rated recordings…and truth be told, his mind wanders. Part of him thinks it would be easier, perhaps more profitable for him, and no one would even look at him or notice who he was. Another part of him feels far too embarrassed. Sure, one thing was recording himself, another thing was publishing it.

“…That’s because you have bad tastes.” Baekhyun conquers, using his screwdriver again before pressing his long index finger to the turn-on button. “I think we’re done with your phone…”

“Bitch.”

“Huh?”

“You were about to say my name.”

“I won’t call you a bitch.” A smirk appears on his soft, delicate face then, merging his features until the screen lights up in between them. The phone is working. “I think you like it a bit too much, huh?”

Maybe, there are some portions of life worth remembering and there is a reason why he is still a phone technician, because he gets to see her otherwise serious expression turn into a laugh when she shakes her head.

“I’d rather be dead than have me in your bed, Baekhyun.” She takes her phone in between her hands, opening her purse just then. “How much is it?”

By the time she is out the glassed doors, blending in her darkened colors with the light, blurring sky, Baekhyun realizes one thing…

She didn’t call him a douchebag. Maybe, it slipped her mind or perhaps, she was nervous when she spat out her last few lines.

Yet, it’s true. He could never imagine the two of them being together.

###

“I’ve officially found the girl who’s going to be in your Patreon with you.”

The Manager Complex, write it in psychology books or Baekhyun may sell it to psychologist in order to get some money, but the concept exists within Chanyeol. Once he had catched a glimpse of Baekhyun’s microphone set-ups and he had to explain the point of his Patreon to his friend, there was no going back. With an agenda on the side of his elongated body, and a professional look on his face, Chanyeol has taken it upon himself to ‘plan out’ his channel…and sure, he’s thankful, but it somehow makes him feel as if he’s a product.

Chanyeol takes a seat across from him on their usual diner. Pink tiles, black and white walls and red tables do make the place justice, but what keeps them there is the fried chicken and pancakes. To die for, and much more if they accompany it with some vanilla ice cream after.

“You have?” Baekhyun asks. He’s not entirely sure if he’s sold to the idea of recording himself with someone else, pretending to be a couple. After all, he’s meant to be the listener’s boyfriend, not with someone else, but more people have joined asking him to be accompanied for heavier subjects on his recordings and truthfully…he wants to expand his horizons a little bit, or he’s, at least, thinking about it. “You can’t just find someone you think is hot and not tell them I plan on recording our voices—”

“She’s more skilled than you, dumbass.” Chanyeol ties his brown hair behind his back, opening his almost-empty agenda before sighing. “I’ve set you up on a date to see where things head and whatnot, but she’s another ASMRtist…and she has done rated recordings, so I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

Oh. So, this is real.

Shit, he thinks it could be easy, but when he really ponders about it…there is this tinge of awkwardness and shyness that overtakes him. Sure, it would make his channel grow and hence, give him more money to spend at the end of the day, but he has to take a swig of beer to push down the bitter taste.

It feels void. People like him for pretending he is the nicest boyfriend in the world, borderline fake at times, but at the end of the day, they only want him to either give comfort or fulfill fantasies. None of them will understand him or want to be with him for who he is, or how he is. Loud-spoken, extroverted, sometimes pensive, mischievous with tinges of cheeky.

“Do I have to?”

Chanyeol looks up from his agenda then, playing with the edge of a piece of paper before shaking his head. “Record yourself? No, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, Baekhyun.” He closes the agenda in one go, his frown becoming more profound by the second. “But I do recommend you to go out on a date with her. She’s different from what you normally go for…and she’s cute. There’s nothing wrong with having fun with someone normal every once in a while.”

Looking around the diner, he spares a smile towards Chanyeol. “Okay, I will go out on a date with her.” With how busy he has been with the growth of his Patreon and his real job on top of that, he hasn’t quite gone out much…and that leaves him to take Chanyeol’s opportunity. If he thinks they are a match, then it must be true, right?

“You’re going to love her.”

“If you say so.”

“Cheers for you getting some after a while.” Chanyeol pushes his bottle of beer forward, only to have Baekhyun chuckling.

“Can’t promise that, but cheers!”

###

A thumping headache follows after every sigh that leaves her lips. Somehow, the isopropyl alcohol-scented emergency room does nothing to purify the utmost tiredness inside her body. Instead, she’s left sulking for the number of hours still left in her nightshift. It’s twelve at night and she, still, has to wait until three in the morning arrives to be able to go back home.

She hears a bag of food plopping against the counter, enough for her to lift her eyes ever-so-slowly. Seriously, she thinks she is half-asleep at this point, unaware if she is dreaming or wide awake. Seeing Jaebeom in front of her may be a dream; the second-year dermatology doctor smiling down at her. While he’s radiant, with his long brown hair cascading down his face and reaching his earlobes, wearing the typical white robe and his baby blue scrubs underneath, she has settled for her burgundy scrubs. The ones she wears every single day.

Truth is, everyone is talking about Lim Jaebeom these days. Even the nurses, for fuck’s sake. He manages to send a smile every few days, enough to have everyone going back to their jobs with hope dangling from their every movement, but the rest of the time, his mysterious persona and magnetism is what keeps everyone at the edges of their seats.

Including her. Of course, she’s included. Be damned the day someone decided to put a mole on his eyelid and not expect everyone to fall in love with it when he smiles.

The scent of sliced vegetables, soy sauce and noodles fill the air, enough to make her lick her lips. “Oh, you’re eating here?” She’s about to move away from the counter, make some space for him to splay his meal and sit down, when Jaebeom shakes his head, the waves of his hair moving with it.

“We are eating here. I don’t think I’ve seen you sit down since the morning.” Jaebeom starts to get the containers of Chinese food out of their confines, quirking one of his defined eyebrows in the process. He’s tranquil, he always seems to have his life put together. The envy. “You have a twenty-four-hour nightshift?”

“Oh God, no.” She groans at the idea. She already has had enough of those the past month. “I’m here until three. Or, until Dr. Jones decides to arrive.”

Jaebeom hisses at the sound of her voice. “So, until four.”

It’s common knowledge that Dr. Jones forgets to not turn off his alarm. “Thanks, Jaebeom, exactly what I needed.”

Though, he does bring her something she needed, giving her a pair of chopsticks and dragging a plastic chair towards her, just as he sits down. “I’ll wait here until then, if you need to.”

Dermatologists normally don’t have nightshifts. They’re only there if there needs to be some kind of abstraction of sorts. “You don’t have to. Besides, you shouldn’t be here on the first place.” She tells, looking over at his seated position, long legs extended in front of him, wide shoulders making her retreat her vision and glare back at his eyes instead. Concentration is key when dealing with a man like him. “Did you forget something or do you just enjoy to eat surrounded by emergency patients?”

Jaebeom slurps on his noodles, a few spots of soy sauce sprinkling against his lips. “Seventy-three old patient with a black head on her back the size of my index finger. I had to take it out because Dr. Kim is out for her wedding.” The specialist and the doctor in charge of the residency only now had the time to get married, in the middle of July, for fuck’s sake. “It was awesome.”

The gruesome smile on his face has her grinning back at him, aware of not showing her teeth just in case they are filled with vegetables and noodles. “You have some pictures?”

“You can bet I do.”

Jaebeom pushes his seat closer to her, until his robe is caressing the barely covered skin of her shoulder, pushing his phone towards her face to showcase an old, wrinkly back with a black head being extracted. “She said she got it because she couldn’t reach for her back for the last twenty years and did not wash there.”

“Typical.” Trailing her gaze away from his phone, she nudges his side. “Did it hurt?”

“Not that I know of.” Jaebeom replies, looking down at his food when he puts his locked phone face down on his thigh. “Rumor has it I have good hands.”

There is not a single ounce of mischief on his face, not until a longer second of silence finally settles on him when she tries her hardest not to look down at his hand and think of what he is even trying to say.

“Oh, fuck.” Jaebeom chuckles at his own words, borderline cackling when he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I sounded like such a creep.”

“You didn’t.” She replies, trying to conceal the heat on her face. God, she really needs to get her mind out of the gutter. This is her coworker, a fellow doctor— “I happen to have heard that about you.”

Jaebeom tilts his head to the side, half-laughing at her words, as if amused. “You have heard things about me?”

Truth is… “Who hasn’t?”

Jaebeom pulls at some of the noodles with his chopsticks, pensive for a second before plopping them inside his mouth. Not before saying: “What have you heard about me?”

“Half of the hospital is in love with you.” She replies, as easy as possible. The least she can do is let him know that he really does look at good as he thinks he does. “Don’t even get me started on the nurses. I think they have a cult by now. They have started to care about their skincare routines because you told them to. And because they want to look young enough to be by your side.” Most of the nurses at the hospital are over their forties…but who knows? Jaebeom might be into that.

“Really?” He questions, looking down at his food. “I thought they were just being nice.”

“They were,” She accepts. “But they’re doing it because they kind of want to be your MILF’s.”

His nose scrunches up. “That’s a no.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “You never know, Dr. Lim.” She jokes around, only to have Jaebeom expanding his hands in the air, waving them along with the shakes of his head.

“I know one thing and that is that I don’t want those women anywhere near me in that way.”

Attentive of his speech, she hums. “Then, I’ll keep them away from you. I can save lives, what’s one more going to do?”

Jaebeom’s smile tightens at that, resting one hand over her forearm as she chews on her food. “I’ll have to pay you in some way.”

“Oh, no, no—”

“Let me take you back home.”

“You’re not losing hours of sleep just to take me home.”

She had not realized Jaebeom had finished his meal until he placed the empty container back on its plastic bag. “I’ll lose hours of sleep if I let you go home alone at three AM, you know?”

“You sure?” She asks, aware of the shyness in her tone as Jaebeom nods.

“I’ll be your little helper for the next of the shift.”

Somehow, that doesn’t sound so bad.

How can it sound bad when she has practically ogled at the man and swooned at his antics for as long as he has been working here? Perhaps, one year and seven months, even more…

###

He’s a creature of the night, in the way he blends perfectly well with the dark sky, almost colored like the Americano she craves to drink, with his tiredness completely noticeable but still, one with the crickets around him, making a symphony for him. His car is parked in front of her apartment complex, one much better than what she would have imagined—chic, not simplistic at all, coming from his hard work that will only pay off more with the passage of time.

The wind blows on his hair as she pulls her bag over her shoulder, desiring nothing more than to touch her bed, close her eyes and doze off to a world of dreams, white noise and no responsibilities at all. “Jaebeom, thank you so much for everything.” She breathes out into the air, voice lonesome in her approach, unaware of how tired she sounds. “You’re an angel sent straight from heaven.”

“Some say hell, but I’ll take it.” Jaebeom replies quickly, smiling at her with his gums before placing a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Get inside before it gets too cold.”

“Okay, I will.” She starts to walk towards the door, jotting down the password before looking over her shoulder. “I want to wait until you drive off, though.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You never know, Jaebeom. You could get into an accident. We’re doctors. We know this happens out of the blue—”

“You can always text me to check if I’m alright.” Lacking his robe, Jaebeom rests his hands on the pockets of his scrubs before sighing. “And if you really want to make sure if I’m doing alright, you can check up on me physically on Saturday. I’m free and my friend just opened a Thai restaurant downtown, so…we could meet there.”

She knows better than to think a one-on-one situation means a date. This could be colleagues having dinner together, just to check up on each other, but Jaebeom is not the type to go out alone with anyone. Not that she knows of, and gossip runs around the hospital far faster than stretcher-bearers should. If Jaebeom had been with one of the interns, the students or a doctor, either no one knew about it or he hadn’t, really.

“Ah…it sounds great.” She opens the door wider, slipping inside. After this, she doesn’t think she’ll have enough balls to wait for him to drive off. “You’ll text me the details and we’ll meet there?”

Jaebeom scoffs at her words. “I’ll pick you up.”

“Are you my chauffeur or what?”

“I’d consider myself your date for Saturday, but who knows?” Jaebeom waltzes towards the car, making her hide behind the door as a chuckle leaves her lips. “Maybe, I should ask one of the nurses.”

“Don’t you dare.” She threatens, lingering with a comedic tone.

“Oh, why?”

“You already asked me.” She replies. “And you have a date on Saturday with me.”

“Atta girl.” Jaebeom finalizes, opening the door of his car just as he waves his hand in the air. “See you at work.”

“See you. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Once she closes the door and walks up the set of stairs, she lets herself close her eyes tightly and squeal.

The Lim Jaebeom had just asked her out on a date. That has to be a golden badge after her drought period. Just as she moves through the stairs, she starts to think through outfits, ideas of conversations, anything that could make her first date in a while worth it, but the thoughts inside her head grow less fond of the silence when someone’s voice pierces through the air once she gets to her floor.

Spread in front of her apartment door, seated there, is Byun Baekhyun. The douchebag in all his glory. His hair is done a mess, he rests his cheek on his knees and he’s calling out her name as his eyes widen. Finally, he straightens his back, standing up in the matter of seconds.

Too polished for a simplistic night, he seems to be, with a white button down tucked inside a pair of lightweight jeans. “Why are you here so late?”

She huffs at his words, grabbing her keys with sloth-like movements before moving towards her door. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? Why are you here so late and at my doorstep?”

“I need somewhere to stay.” Baekhyun’s voice sounds somewhat pouty and when she looks over her shoulder, ready to glare at the man with the rounded glasses and messy hair, she sees that he is actually jutting his bottom lip out. And is that panic on his face?

“Ask Chohee.” The reply is simple, tugging at her doorknob before the white door welcomes her apartment. Just as she slips inside, she hears Baekhyun pushing the door before she could close it at his face, but not inviting himself inside fully.

“Please.” He begs, his face far too close as his eyes twinkle with a tinge of sadness. “Chohee is asleep, like a normal person.”

“Ask Chanyeol.”

“He has a girl over.���

She rolls her eyes. “Of course, he does,” She mumbles, grabbing her doorframe with her free hand. It’s too fucking late after a nightshift to be dealing with Baekhyun’s dramatics. “Do what The Douchebag would to. Trademark copyrighted and all. Ask to join in and become part of a threesome. Chanyeol is a nice-looking dude and he’s blonde now. Fuckable enough.”

Baekhyun scrunches up his nose at the idea, shaking his head as a shiver goes up his body. “I’d rather have my dick sliced in twenty little bits.”

She raises her eyebrows. Okay, time to play. “I can do that. Medically speaking, if you need me to slice your dick—”

Baekhyun’s shoulders fall then, resting his forehead forward until it almost touches her shoulder. “Okay…” He raises his head then, speaking far too fast for her to comprehend. Typical of him. “Chanyeol set me up on a date and I was dumb enough to ask her to have dinner at my place but she is batshit crazy and she brought wedding magazines over and I didn’t have the heart to kick her out, so I told her I was going to go buy something and I ran away from there.”

Wait.

She tries not to laugh, but the irony of the situation has her tugging at the sleeve of his shirt, pushing him inside when a smile of relief takes over his dulcet face.

“So, you left a complete stranger inside your house?” She asks, plopping her bag down on the floor and moving towards the kitchen to wash her hands. Baekhyun follows suit after taking off his shoes.

“Chanyeol knows her,” He says, as if it’s rocket science. “Besides, I was hoping she’d just go in the morning.”

She hums, rubbing the soap more into her skin. “What time did you tell her you were going to buy something?”

“At nine…”

She gasps at that, looking over her shoulder to see Baekhyun seated by her kitchen counter. “You have been here for six hours?!”

“I didn’t know where else to go!”

Baekhyun may be the life of the party, a socialite through and through, but he can count his friends with the palm of his hand. She knows that. “She’s going to be there tomorrow.”

Baekhyun groans, covering his face. “How do you know that?”

“You’ve given her reasons to be angry, Baekhyun, and she was attached to you already. Now, she’s going to question the root of your relationship and become even more attached because she’ll want to fix what you destroyed and—”

“Oh my God…” Baekhyun trails his voice at that moment, running his fingers through his black locks. “When am I going to have a normal person as a date?”

Cackling, she pats her hands on a towel. The next step is having Baekhyun sleep on the couch, take a quick shower and be off to sleep. “When you become an average person, Baekhyun. You’re just too Broadway for your own good.” She says. “You’ve seen American Psycho? Now welcome Korean Douchebag.”

Though, she still moves towards the living room, opening one of the drawers in her coffee table to grab the blanket she keeps there, just in case. “Says the person that is home at three in the morning.”

Sighing, she remembers the awful nights of working. “I was working since the morning. I had a nightshift, but not a complete one.”

“And you came here all on your own?” Baekhyun must know about her lack of vehicle, because he immediately rests one hand on her shoulder, making her turn around once she has stood up. “That’s dangerous. No one should be out at this hour of the night.”

That reminds her, she should text Jaebeom to see if he’s gotten home safely. “Someone gave me a drive home.”

“Someone?” Baekhyun questions, grabbing the blanket when she tosses it at him.

“Uh-huh.”

“…A guy?”

“Yes, and I’ve got a date with him on Saturday.” She wants to shut out all questions that he may have, pointing towards her couch with an open hand. “You can sleep there until I wake up in the morning. I can’t promise breakfast or a comfier place because you definitely won’t share a bed with me, but it’s warm, at least.” She pauses. “I’ll take a shower and I’m off to sleep—”

“Wait!” Baekhyun says, a sigh ripping from her throat when she turns around to look at him.

“Yes, Baekhyun?”

Standing there, he looks a bit heartbroken, like a puppy after being stepped on or an old man bathed in rain after a car passed by him. Truth be told, Baekhyun is one of the unluckiest lovers she has ever met…and she’s one of them, for all she knows.

“And do you trust him?” He questions, pressing the blanket to his chest. “Doctors are trouble. I mean, Dr. House? Trouble. Derek Shepherd? Trouble. The guy who created Frankenstein? Definitely trouble.”

It seems like someone is worried that she may end up falling for someone who breaks her heart. “Listen, if you mention Dr. House and Derek Shepherd in the same sentence and comparing them to my date, you’re only further enticing me because they’re hot characters.” She shrugs her shoulders, only relaxing when she sees Baekhyun worried expression. “…But yes, I do trust him. I’ve known him for like, two years. He’s caring and serious and sweet. That’s all I have ever wanted on a guy.”

Apart from lack of headaches. She needs the type of love that doesn’t fall into boredom but that doesn’t have unnecessary drama.

“Okay, just…be careful, okay?” Baekhyun asks, and she nods, watching as the man plops down on the couch. “And thank you for not kicking me out.”

Little does he know that she would have never done such thing. “You’re welcome, douche.” She says, turning off the lights after saying her goodbyes with a last: “Sleep tight.”

Though, the light of her phone accompanies her when she types down on her phone:

To: Lim Jaebeom.

Text me when you get home.

Thank you for everything.

If I don’t respond it’s because I have fallen asleep.

And she doesn’t get an answer, at least, not one that she recalls.

###

Nine thirty in the morning and Baekhyun is ready to take off.

Though, his lips remain pursed in concentration, rummaging through her refrigerator for the umpteenth time only to come up with nothing. Seems like she hasn’t done the groceries and hence, he has nothing to prepare for breakfast. Still pretty much knocked out on her bed, Baekhyun doesn’t have the heart to wake her up and take her out for breakfast. Until another time, it may be.

Leaving a note on the coffee table about his whereabouts, he puts on his shoes, extending his arms over his chest once he opens the door to her apartment and closes it behind him. One thought crosses his head at that moment—apart from the quite clear hollow spot in his stomach that begs for food—and it is that he, probably, still has someone in his apartment. A stranger that wants to marry him, and sure, people in his Patreon must feel that same way, or some of them might, but Minjung is a whole another level…

Just as he’s about to take off, the door next to her apartment opens, welcoming the sight of a barefaced Chohee, with her hair high up on her head and a surprised expression on her face.

“Oh, I thought you were—” Just as Chohee is about to say her name, she stops herself. “What are you doing at her place?”

Baekhyun goes over to where Chohee is, resting his hands on the depths of his pockets. “My date decided to plan our wedding ahead and I grew scared, so I left her there and crashed at her place because you were probably asleep.”

“I was,” Chohee rubs her brown eyes then, pointing towards her place. “But I got up early to practice my tarot readings before breakfast.” Baekhyun knows where this is going, and he’s not quite sure he is against it. After all, he doesn’t know what awaits him at his place once he arrives. “Do you want to be my subject? I promise hot cakes and a lot of insight in whatever you want.”

Baekhyun snorts out a laugh. “If you can give me some hindsight on my love life, I promise I’ll be the first one to subscribe to your YouTube channel.”

With one hand placed on her hip, jutted out, Chohee exudes all airs of confidence. “Oh, honey, I can read you like a book.”

Chohee goes all out with decorations. Dreamcatchers in pink, walls a cryptic white, decorations in shades of the most gorgeous pastel colors. There is a pattern and a scheme here, organized to have her tarot space in the living room, with a shelf behind her containing endless stacks of tarot cards packages. Baekhyun is midway through his bite of his honey-coated hot cake when he watches her hands working on shuffling the cards.

“Spirits, what can Baekhyun expect from his romantic life?” Baekhyun can’t help but gape at the choices of words. He will never get used to the word ‘spirits’ whenever Chohee reads him. It’s freaky how she—almost always—gets something right and talks to these invisible creatures. Ghosts? Who knows? “What is Baekhyun’s love story—?” Three cards plop out at that moment, two reversed, one on its original position. Chohee tilts her head to the side, as if deep in thought. “Okay. Spirits, give me two more cards. We need to know Baekhyun’s—” Two more cards come out.

Baekhyun stops munching on the hot cakes, chuckling at Chohee’s expression. “That bad?”

“Horrid.” She explains, fixing the cards into their position. “From what I can see, you’ve met your match already. One of the many soulmates life gives us…” Chohee’s voice trails, as if rearranging her thoughts. “But dude, you fucked it up big time. I get the sense of speech being the source of your match’s disappearance, though not completely, but those feelings train took off long ago. Maybe, you were too silent and unapproachable or too loud and open. I think the latter.” She plays with another card deck, placing it underneath the first line of cards. “There will be a period of separation, but I’m not sure if it will be prolonged. I get an immense sense of indifference? I don’t know, Baekhyun, like she doesn’t care that you’re not together.”

That’s weird. Baekhyun would have never thought of going back to one of his exes. Too much of a hassle. “Is it one of my exes?”

Chohee shakes her head. “No, I think it’s someone you took for granted.”

“I never do that.” Pride swells his chest when he leans back on his chair, legs parted in the process. “I know when to take chances.”

“Not this time. You either get on the ride or it’s taking off without you, Baek.” She rearranges her cards then, clearing her throat.

Curiousness overtakes him. He can’t be the only person in this world who won’t find love, or that has to go back to one of his choices that don’t seem all too factual at this time. He spits out her name, as if it was the second word he learned growing up, and that’s enough to have Chohee frowning.

“I mean, it could be…”

“Not that.” Baekhyun shakes his head. Sure, when they first met, he had initially thought she was one of the greatest looking women he had seen, and he had taken his shot at the time, only to go completely ignored…but that was long ago, and he doesn’t think something would ensue between the two either way. From her part, at least. “What do you see in her reading?”

“Ooh,” Chohee perks up at that, shuffling the cards once again. “Spirits, what do you see in the love story of the second unluckiest person I know in what love consists of?”

Five cards come out almost immediately, taking him by surprise. “Wait, wow—”

“She also lost a match in the past. In her case, it seems like it was ignorance that took part on it.” Her long nail splay on top of one card, he can’t quite recognize it, but Chohee seems interested. “But someone else has come along. Perhaps tired from the eccentricity of past lovers, she wants tranquility…but I see a portion of miscommunication in this partner, too.” She hums in the process, but Baekhyun is long lost in his thoughts. How in the flying fuck is it that the mysterious doctor is the love of her life? Or, at least, one of her soulmates? Sure, she doesn’t believe in tarot, but Baekhyun does…and it’s almost impossible that someone he didn’t even know about is going to be part of her life for longer than intended. “Maybe Jaebeom really is the right choice for now.”

“Jaebeom?”

“The cutest dermatologist I have ever seen. He’s sexy and chic and he has this stare, ugh.” Baekhyun bites his tongue, not wanting to say anything about the fact that there are going out on a date and that, in hindsight, if his stare is enough to have Chohee rolling her eyes back, it may not come as a surprise that she starts dating him, for real.

Why does that bother him?

“And why do you think it’s him?”

Rearranging her cards, Chohee shrugs. “She has a tiny crush on him. Too sly to ever be noticed, but she likes him. She doesn’t do anything to get his attention, though, a complete waste.”

Baekhyun takes one last bite of his hot cakes, rubbing his hands against his pants before standing up. Truth be told, maybe he should stop being a complete douchebag—as she calls him—and take matters on his own hands. Minjung may have been trying to point out to something wonderful and while pushing people away, perhaps speaking too much for his own liking, he has lost the opportunity of living through romance. Hell, the only person he thought he could be sharing his solitude with now has a date and a possible love affair right at the corner.

“Thanks for the food and the existential crisis,” Resting a kiss on top of her head, Baekhyun sighs. “Bye, Chohee.”

The next thing he needs to do is apologize to Minjung.

### 

A ding of her phone accompanies her in the silent Saturday night. The swoosh of the wind against the windows of her apartment makes them creak thanks to their oldness, a reminder to bring a thicker coat with herself to her date, but her phone takes away her attention. Perhaps, Jaebeom wants to change plans, or he’s asking if she is ready for their date.

Lo and behold, she’s wrong about both options. A notification from Patreon takes over her screen when she presses down on it, a written post by Blue Moon taking most of her attention. She hasn’t had enough time to check up on his posts, or replay the ones that she had enjoyed the most. Turns out, life continues to move on its axis and if she does get this date to go somewhere profitable and good, she may not need of Blue Moon anymore.

Her eyes read over the post, surprised to see an emoticon at the end. He always uses those, even when his voice borders the depths of comfort when he speaks. However, her heart picks up at the idea that he is plastering on the post. A collab is coming soon, including a famous rated ASMRtist, and she can’t help but let her eyebrows raise.

Luck exists in some people, inherent to their souls, and though she doesn’t know Blue Moon personally, has not raked her pupils up and down his physique in order to judge him as her type or not, she’s sure she’d like him. Enchanting, somewhat funny, mischievous. Boredom is not part of his vocabulary, and he sounds extremely sweet in the process.

And now, she’ll have to hear her faux, online boyfriend roleplay guy get it on with another girl.

She gets out of the application before she can think any further about it. At the most part, she can just skip it. Someone like Blue Moon obviously gets a lot of people to like him, just from his personality alone, so she has no say in this. She either supports or she doesn’t. Besides, she has more important things to take care of, like Dr. Lim, for example.

To: Jaebeom.

I’m ready.

You can pick me up whenever.

Bring a coat. I think it’s going to be cold tonight.

From: Jaebeom.

I’ll be there in fifteen.

To: Jaebeom.

K. Drive safe.

With the passage of time, and the texts they have shared—as well as meals exchanged between the other—, that contact name will be shortened, perhaps sweeter with time, and that’s the natural movement of things. Who knows? Maybe, she won’t need Blue Moon anymore. She doesn’t seem to do so right now, and it’s probably for the best.

### 

Pieces of heaven sprinkle on his gleaming pupils, holding cups of ice cream on both their hands as they walk up the set of stairs that lead to her apartment. Cladded from head to toe in black, Jaebeom sports an elongated coat on top of a skin-tight sweater and jeans to match. What brightens him up is his smile, the tinges of sunshine in his speech and the pensive look on his face as she speaks to him.

“It’s funny how whenever we see each other, there’s always food involved.” She tells him, spooning the last few bits of her ice cream before plopping them inside her mouth. Jaebeom’s eyes trail down there, licking his own as he takes the empty cup from her hand to stack it up with his own, finished even before they got to her place.

“You reach the heart from the stomach.” Jaebeom instructs, only to have her chuckling in the process.

“Anatomy by Lim Jaebeom, and wronged, at that.” Her reply has a wide smile taking over his features, his eyes turning into half-moons when he nudges her side, grabbing her forearm before she could lose her balance.

“You’re such a perfectionist.” But truth be told, Jaebeom may just be trying to reach her heart through her stomach, just like he says. Two more stairs and they are in her hallway, the man following after her as she speaks.

“No, but seriously, thank you for picking such a good restaurant. I didn’t know your friend could cook so well.”

“Nah, he just owns it. He can’t cook for the life of him, he just has good tastebuds.” Jaebeom replies, just as she’s rummaging through her purse to get her keys out. “We could go there again.”

“Whenever you want. I’m down.” Her voice comes out softer than intended when she gets her keys between her hands, turning around to point at her door. “You want coffee to wash down the ice cream?”

Jaebeom runs his hands through his hair, his slim arms sadly covered by his layers of clothing. “Coffee at this hour?”

“We’re doctors. I think we’ve all had coffee at this hour.”

“True.” Jaebeom replies, giving one step forward before interlocking his hands together in front of him. “But I think I have something in mind that could keep you awake, since you’re so sleepy and bored during this date.”

Oh no, that’s what her words meant. She can practically hear Chohee smacking her in the head for being so goddamned stupid. Of course, drinking coffee means that she wants a caffeine intake, hence she isn’t feeling as energized. God, she should have offered tea—

“That’s not what I meant.” Jaebeom takes one final step towards her, wrapping his arms and hands around her waist to bring her closer, his taut abdomen flushed against hers, chest to chest as he looks down at her features.

He chuckles, his chest shaking with her own. “I know that’s not what you meant…” His fingers hook a strand of her hair behind her ear, his thumb caressing her jaw, her cheek, before settling on her bottom lip. “I’m just looking for an excuse to kiss you.”

Two years. Two years since the last time she had kissed a man, and even then, her last date’s kissing skills were not the best. Her heart picks up at the idea of touch, craving it because it’s him. The man she likes, or whom she feels attracted to.

“Search no more.” She whispers, resting her hands on each side of his face before pushing herself forward.

Fireworks are not there. They don’t explode right at her face, but tranquility is what she has always looked for. Chilled, relaxed, that’s more of what the kiss is like. Jaebeom takes his precious time to let the finger that was caressing her bottom lip trail down to her neck, grazing the column of her neck before deepening the kiss. Pressed to her door, she grabs him by the front of his shirt, bawling the fabric in between her fingers before she feels a small tug of his teeth against her lips.

He doesn’t take risks. He keeps it simple, sexy, classic. There is not a lot of playfulness, neither does it feel like it has a deeper connection. It is what it is, and that’s about it.

But why does it disappoint her, to certain extent?

He doesn’t say anything. Does not pull away to whisper sweet nothings against her lips, to compliment her or say how much he waited for this. Instead, he keeps kissing, his thigh in between hers, his breath fanning against her skin softly when she runs her fingers through his hair. A raptured moan never makes it out his lips, it rests on the back of his throat and he pushes it down. Bummer.

He pulls away, chest heaving, heart thumping softly while hers is rushing a mile per minute, until he dives in again, her left hand coming behind her to twist the key with as much expertise as she can to get the two of them inside when suddenly, her phone rings.

It’s not a ping. Not a text, but a full-on ring.

Jaebeom pulls away the slightest, stopping his hands on her waist when he says: “Do you want to pick it up?” His voice is hoarse, and even then, it doesn’t reach the depths of her soul. The most she does is make her crave for him, but it doesn’t get past physical need.

“Not really.”

Jaebeom chuckles, scattering kisses along her neck, making her giggle to herself. “Why not?”

“I’m busy.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m not doing anything yet.” The connotations of her voice are clear.

“So, let’s change that.”

When Jaebeom continues kissing her, she expects the phone to stop ringing, but just as the call is over, the contact starts calling again and that is enough to have Jaebeom pulling away again, bloodshot lips swollen from their make-out session, though shortly lived.

“It must be an emergency.” He whispers, and she hums in the process, opening her bag to take her phone out and read the contact’s name.

If someone had seen the devil while being in heaven, this would have been their expression. The one she sports when she sees that, out of all people, Byun Baekhyun is calling her.

He’s the devil. Jaebeom is an angel.

And she’s about to kill him to see if he’ll stay in hell or not.

“What do you want, Baekhyun?” Her voice comes out sharp as she speaks on the phone, sparing one glance towards Jaebeom, but the man is on his phone instead. He doesn’t seem to mind that she’s talking to another man while on their date. He just can’t be this chilled out, right?

Baekhyun has never sounded so serious, but he does at that moment. “I’m in the ER but I won’t get checked if it’s not with you.”

Her heart picks up for whole different reasons, straightening her back as she imagines all the horrible possibilities that could encounter Baekhyun in the emergency room. Her workplace. “Wait, why? Why are you in the ER? Is everything okay?”

“Would I be calling if everything was okay?” Baekhyun whispers for one second, awfully close to a voice she has heard, but she can’t quite pinpoint it when she is already strutting down the hallway, followed by Jaebeom calling her name and trailing after her step. “I broke something.”

“You broke something? Be more specific, douchebag.” Though, she fears what he could have broken. Was he in an accident of sorts?

“My fingers, I think. I’m not sure. I don’t want anyone to see me if it’s not you.” He hisses in the process. “It really hurts and I know you are in your date, but I think I’m about to die.”

Well, there goes the date to welcome Baekhyun’s dramatics. She doesn’t know why she entertains him, or why she is worrying so much. “I’ll be there in a few. Just…stay still and don’t scream or cry or anything like that.”

“Okay—”

She cuts off the call before Baekhyun could continue, running down the set of stairs as Jaebeom repeats her name.

“What happened?”

“One of my closest friends is in the ER and he’s stubborn, so he wants me to check up on him.” She looks over her shoulder at that moment, though briefly, an apology in her voice. “Jaebeom, I know this is not what you expected out of your date, but could you drop me off at the ER?”

A sigh rips from his throat, dangling his car keys in between his hands before humming. “Sure, let’s go, workaholic.”

When down the set of stairs, she presses a short kiss to his lips. No spark, but favorable in feeling. “Thanks, Beom.”

A new contact name arises.

###

Never had she expected to be in this position, holding a folder with Baekhyun’s information as she drags the blue curtains of his small consultation room open. Jaebeom trails right behind her, pulling the curtains closed when Baekhyun lifts his gaze, half-laying on the bed as if his entire body was writhing in pain and it wasn’t only his fingers.

Truth be told, worry overtook her with his call and on the way here. Calling him ‘one of her closest friends’ to Jaebeom had been quite the surprise, too. Never had she thought of Baekhyun in that light—he has always been the one that would never grow up out of the group, but now it seems to be completely different. Maybe, he’s that one leech she won’t ever be able to take away, or she actually enjoys having him suck up blood every once in a while. Metaphorically speaking, he’s just fun to be around.

“Okay, tell me the story and show me your fingers.”

Baekhyun is still looking at Jaebeom, scrutinizing each portion of him with squinted eyes. “Shouldn’t the consultation be private or do my fingers need a dermatologist?” Truth be told, she doesn’t think they do. When Baekhyun extends his left hand, she touches his index and middle finger, barely grazes them in their elongated yet reddened glory, and he hisses in the process.

Jaebeom places one hand on her back. “I think I’ll see myself off.”

She looks over her shoulder, shaking her head. “No, we can continue the date after if you want to.”

“I’m tired and I’m not sure if I want to be working at this hour.” Jaebeom finalizes, ready to finish the date, before he rests a kiss on the crown of her head, bowing his head towards Baekhyun. “Hope you get better, man.”

“Yeah, I sure hope I do.” Baekhyun is never this sharp with his words, but as it seems, he’s not in a good mood. When she tries to flex his fingers, they do. They’re not broken, that’s for sure, every portion of his phalanges feel as though they are in place.

“What happened to you, Baekhyun?” A rosy tone takes over his features when she asks that question, sitting up when a small whine leaves his lips as she continues to bend his fingers, testing their movements.

“You don’t want to know.”

“I’m a doctor now, of course, I need to know.” She tells him, pulling away and opening the folder to check through his information. “And for the embarrassment you pulled me through by both telling everyone in this ER that you wouldn’t consult yourself if it wasn’t with me and ruining my date, I need to know.”

As she’s checking the X Rays, she sees Baekhyun’s fingers, perfectly put in place, definitely not broken. It may be a strain or a tendinitis, it depends on what he was doing. “It’s embarrassing…”

“Could’ve been your dick that was hurting. That would have been embarrassing.” She tells him, trying to ease into his mind before sighing deeply, putting the X Rays down and looking into his eyes. Baekhyun looks like he had gotten ready in a hassle, gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt covering his body. Slippers, too. “Baekhyun, I won’t judge you. I really won’t. I’ve seen worse things. I can promise you this is nothing.”

Baekhyun looks over to the side, fixing his glasses on the bridge of his nose before clearing his throat. “I was with the date I talked to you about…Minjung…” He trails his voice, and she already knows where this is going. This is definitely a sex emergency. “And I don’t know, well, I do know. I was using my fingers…” Baekhyun covers his face, and she tries to stifle her laughter. Oh, she definitely knows where this is going. “Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing.” Though, a small chuckle follows after her statement, enough to sneak a smile away from Baekhyun.

“You sound like you’re laughing.”

“That’s just my voice.”

“You never laugh, what are you talking about?”

“Just tell me what happened.”

Baekhyun winces when he pushes his hands onto his face a little too harshly, left to look up at the ceiling as splotches of red and pink come up from his neck towards his face. Beet red. “It was supposed to be just me fingering her but…uh, she was a little too harsh and she wanted to ride my fingers, and I guess she jumped too hard and broke them.” He closes his eyes tightly, pursing his lips just at the same time that cackles leave her own. “Tell me they’re not broken. I don’t want to have broken fingers, please, it hurts a lot.”

“They’re not broken, douchebag.” There it is. The perfect title, but this time around, the douchebag was the one being played. She takes a pen from the table next to the stretcher. Clicking on it, she starts to write down the diagnosis. “I think you strained a ligament, that’s all. None of your bones are out of place and I don’t feel any substantial difference on your muscles. You can still bend your fingers and they are not particularly swollen. I’ll give you some medicine for that and I need you to ice it for as much as you can. Exercise them, too.” Though, she stops herself at that moment. “Just no fingering, okay? Keep those fingers for yourself.”

“Stop laughing.” He differentiates every word with a punctuation, and she smiles up at him.

“Why are you still seeing her, though?” She slides the prescription towards him, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear when she looks at him. “You said she was too pushy and you didn’t like it. I’m sure you can get other women to finger.”

“I said stop it!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” She rests his folder on his thigh, getting closer to him to speak in a softer manner. This is her patient and she can’t out what he had told her as so. “Baekhyun, really, stop seeing her—”

“I’m not telling you to stop seeing Dr. Fancy Eyes over there.” Baekhyun juts his chin towards the curtain. “Maybe, I just gave Minjung another chance because everyone has someone and I want to have someone, too.”

Handsome comes short for what she thought Baekhyun was when they met each other. She was twenty at the time, in Chohee’s birthday party, trying t stifle her laughter when he made a fool of himself in front of her. He was drunk, clearly, dancing and swinging his hips in the air as he spoke to her in the most typical of manners. They were younger then, and while she had grown—become more somber and serious with the day, Baekhyun still kept that lively personality of his, matched with some sprinkles of weightiness here and there. She can always count on him for a good stifled laugh.

“Okay, valid. You can keep seeing her if you want to.” She tells him, pointing at his hand with her pen. “But just take care of that, okay?”

She’s about to send him off when Baekhyun reaches for her forearm with his non-injured hand. When she turns around, Baekhyun’s face is serious, void of any of his usual jokester manners.

“Are you sure you’re into him?”

That question is unexpected coming from Baekhyun. At this age, she knows what she wants, but she isn’t sure if Jaebeom ticks off all the squares in her bucket list. “He’s nice. The spark is there.” She lies through her teeth. “He’s a doctor, so he’ll understand me better than anyone else…I think he’s great. And hot.”

Baekhyun nods in the process before sighing. “Haven’t you heard that you shouldn’t date doctors?”

“I have.” She says. “Mostly from you, for some reason, but I’d still do it.”

“Just look at Lee Jinki’s character in Descendants of the Sun—”

“Baekhyun, you give some examples that just make me want to date a doctor more.”

The man gets off the stretcher, standing in front of her before whispering: “He just looks like more of a douchebag than I am. I’m just protecting you.”

That voice. It sounds oddly like Blue Moon when he lowers his voice the slightest, and for some reason, she cringes at the thought. Yeah right, as if she could daydream and go to sleep to the sound of Baekhyun’s voice—

“He’s a nice guy.”

“He looks like he asks for blowjobs on the first date.”

“That’s up to me to decide.” Swinging her hips from side to side, she opens the curtains, only to hear Baekhyun scoffing from his spot.

“Please, not with him. He’s not the kind of person I imagine you with—”

“If you could get your crazy fingers inside someone and interrupt my date to save you, I can do as I please.” Playing around with Baekhyun is funnier than expected, much more when his face falls at those words, turning around to look at him. “Now, give me the keys of your car to drive us to a pharmacy to buy everything we need and then, we’ll stay at my place just so I can check up on you.”

Baekhyun tosses his keys towards her, trusting her with his car completely, and she can’t help but smile. The only man she thought she’d have over tonight was Jaebeom, but turns out that the one who stayed home was Baekhyun.

How ironic life is.

###  

Three weeks have passed since the last time she saw Baekhyun and she can say one thing…

Life is a little bit more boring without the man.

It’s funny how the complexity of their friendship is misunderstood, even by herself. When he’s there, she likes to annoy him—and he sure does back—, but when he’s gone, she misses him. Sure, she will never say it out loud, but she finds herself smiling at the thought of jokes that Baekhyun had let out in the air between them. Hence why she rushes towards Chohee’s apartment when seeing his car parked in front of her apartment complex.

She really needs to get a car for herself, she thinks on the way there. Stop procrastinating and become a full-on adult instead of taking the bus every time, but the thought washes away from her brain by the time she knocks on the door and it’s opened by Baekhyun himself.

As always, he’s wearing glasses, vision ruined as it can get, with his black hair messily falling over his forehead. This time around, he’s sporting a rose gold sweater to frame his nicely shaped hips, masculine and defined, just like his thighs. And just when she catches herself looking at his legs, she pushes her gaze to go up. A smirk is already plastered on his face.

“Look who’s here.” He says, opening the door wider for her to enter, but she shrugs her shoulders while passing by him.

“Look who is here,” She repeats, sparing him a glance over her shoulder when he closes the door. “Chohee better get some insecticide for all the cockroaches hanging around in her apartment. All the freaking time.”

Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest, and since when has Baekhyun sported such a nice body? “You said cockroaches. I’m one cockroach, meaning that we’re a little family over here. And you’re in her apartment, too. So, shame is on you, you called yourself an insect.”

“Don’t get smart on me, douchebag—”

Chohee merges from the kitchen, holding a tray filled with cups of tea. “Don’t tell me you’re starting with your arguments this early on.” Right behind her, her bleached blonde boyfriend emerges. Haesol is a biology teacher, much different from what one would imagine from him, with thick glasses and oversized clothes, in love with someone who believes in everything spiritual but nothing physical. Couples have to be totally different in order to be together, at times. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were here, let me brew you another cup of tea.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She waves her hand towards Haesol. “Haesol, you’re alive!”

“Questionable. Depends on what reality you’re living.”

“Or if we’re living at all.” Continuing with his train of thought, she splays herself next to Baekhyun, who has taken a seat in front of the coffee table with the tray of tea in between his hands. “Sorry I invited myself inside. I was missing you guys.”

Haesol properly sits on the couch, while Chohee excuses herself to go look for some cookies. “It’s okay. You help me accompany Chohee when I’m not here, after all.” In somewhat of a long-distance relationship, she doesn’t know how Haesol and Chohee do it. He lives two hours away, but given to his job, he can’t always drive back here.

“I’m the one that checks up on her.” Baekhyun instructs, taking a sip of his tea after giving Haesol his own cup. “She is never here. She says the incense makes her have allergies.”

“It’s too strong!” I reply, nudging his side before I see him holding his cup with his injured hands. “How are your fingers doing?”

“Great.” Baekhyun replies, a glimmer of blush appearing on his cheeks. “They’ve healed and I haven’t strained them any further.”

“Good.”

“Wait, you know what happened to Baekhyun’s fingers?!” Chohee peeks her head from the kitchen, her bangs falling across her eyes until she moves them away. “He hasn’t told anyone.”

The beam that appears on her features is almost unable to be stopped. Truth be told, she’s not entirely sure if she supports the baggage that comes with Minjung as Baekhyun dates her, but that moment of his life will always be funny to her.

“I do.”

“Don’t you dare tell her.” Baekhyun nudges her side, the scent of him taking over her, musky and mellow. Not too strong for her sensitive nose.

“Why can’t we know?” Haesol asks from his spot, as tranquil as ever, just as Chohee takes the seat beside him. A pillow for her, the kind of tranquil love she has ever wanted, with how he places his arm behind her neck for her to lay on.

She spares one look at Baekhyun. Bright. Shining. Explosive. He’s all the emotions at once, some that she can’t even comprehend and she doesn’t mean to find them out.

“I was his doctor, so I can’t really tell you.” She grabs his hand then, bringing his injured fingers up to her lips and planting a soft kiss on them. “I’d die before compromising these two fingers. You won’t ever get the secret out of me.”

The smile that appears on his face is compliant, wrapping his fingers around hers and giving a small tug before pulling away. “You heard her.”

Chohee sighs deeply, munching on her cookie before shaking her head. “Guys, keep fighting. I don’t think I can stand you two being real, normal friends.”

But maybe, the warmth that spreads on her stomach says otherwise. Being Baekhyun’s friend is not half bad when he looks at her from the corner of his eyes that way, as if his trust on her is never-ending.

###

The pressure of a new relationship’s happy ending is the worst nightmare to ever exist, much more when it feels nonexistent. The covers of Jaebeom’s mattress curl on each side of her face when she is laid down on it, her jacket long thrown on the floor, but what’s important here is the lack of movement. Even when Jaebeom does his best to enthrall her in a kiss, to wrap her up in his engulfing warmth when hovering over her, with his taste becoming one with her own, lemon chap-stick a memory that has long engraved in her brain…they’re stuck in the same position. In the same ‘we are but we aren’t’ dilemma that she is tired of living.

This would have been precious for her when she was younger. With his fingertips scalding the skin of her waist as he tries to pull her shirt away from her body. Boring, it longs to be, with the way attraction keeps them as just that. Just two people who find the other appealing for their bodies, but nothing else…and she doesn’t want that. The only thing she aches for in a partner is having a friend who listens to her but can also make her feel endlessly loved. And vice versa, of course.

Just as a sweet whisper of her name rests on her ear, giving her promises of what may come tonight, her mind goes back to the person she would wish to have hovering above her right now. Making her laugh, perhaps annoying her to bits, but still keeping that handsome face of his intact. Fogged-up glasses, certain fingertips and a lightweight persona. Though Jaebeom does an incredible job at bringing the moon down to this bed with his seriousness and overall concentration, it doesn’t feel like love.

It doesn’t get her going.

Maybe, she just needs a bit more time, needs to feel more of him or let herself be kissed by him, but then again, Byun Baekhyun comes and fucks it all when appearing inside her head. In just at this moment, and she doesn’t understand why. She captures Jaebeom by the cheeks, lowering him down to her mouth to enrapture him in a kiss, but it doesn’t matter how many times she shakes her head or tries to melt her tongue with his, Baekhyun still glimmers as a memory of the unknown inside her head.

What is he doing here?

Her mind must have taken up his name, caressed it in between thoughts and daydreams, because by the time Jaebeom’s hand is on her thigh, lifting it up to hook it around his waist, she breathes out anything but his name.

“Baekhyun—”

Wait.

What?

Her eyes widen, much more at the time that Jaebeom leans back on his thighs. A scoff leaves his lips when he lifts his eyebrows, an awkward smile taking over his features. “Baekhyun?”

“Jaebeom, I’m so sorry—” She tries to spit out, reaching for his shoulder just at the same time that Jaebeom stands up.

“That’s your friend, right?” He asks, earning a nod from head. She doesn’t know why she’s thinking of Baekhyun in such a light lately—the last time that she had thoughts like these about him was when they first met. It’s horrid to see one of her closest friends in such a manner when she’s about to get it on with whom she thought could be the other half of her next relationship. He runs his fingers through his hair, sighing. “Any valid reason why you just called me his name?”

Pushing her shirt up her body once again, she shrugs. “I didn’t mean it. It just happened—”

“You’re thinking about him.” Jaebeom reads her thoughts far too easily. Perhaps, she had let him see the biggest glimpse of it. “And if he’s the one that you want, I can’t do this.” He lifts his eyes to the dark ceiling, the navy walls blending with his dark attire.

What? One thing is coincidentally thinking about Baekhyun. Another thing is wanting him.

“I don’t want Baekhyun. He’s like a friend to me. Just friends.”

“Yeah, so why does he stay at your place whenever he has an issue?” Shit. Maybe, that does sound a bit wrong. As it turns out, Jaebeom doesn’t out his anger, remaining stoic as he speaks. “And why is he the one person you always talk about when you think of something funny? Why is it that you just said his name as we were on my bed—?”

Speechless, she licks her lips, standing up from the bed and taking her jacket in between her hand. “Because maybe, I’m just confused.” She replies, clearing her throat when she stands in front of him. Beauty grazes him, but he doesn’t feel like the man that will cause her butterflies for the rest of her life. “It doesn’t…it doesn’t feel like love with you, Jaebeom and I think that’s not really what you want, so it’s better if we leave it like this. I can’t…I thought I wanted tranquility, but I don’t want deafening silence, either.”

Jaebeom crosses his arms across his chest, looking over to the side, jaw pronounced in a sharp line. “Maybe, you’re comparing me to someone else.” He says. “Not to misunderstand me, I get you…it’s up to you to choose what you want in a man and if it’s me who you want, but…it’s difficult not to believe there is something else with Baekhyun.”

Shaking her head, she huffs. “We’re just friends. I tell you, I don’t know why he was inside my head—”

“You were thinking of another man as I kissed you, that has to be enough of an answer for you.”

It can’t be. Denial creeps up on her when she laughs, taking her purse in between her fingers and tossing it over her shoulder. “Think what you will. I think it’s better if I leave.”

Jaebeom nods, pushing his lips together just as she presses a kiss to his cheek. The touch is barely there, soft in comparison to the kisses they shared. “It was great having you, even for a moment.” He tells her, and she hums.

“Shortest moment of my life.” She replies. “But a good one, indeed.”

By the time she is out the apartment complex, her skin is bitten by the harsh wind, left in a part of the city much too far away from her home. She starts walking on wobbling legs, cursing the moment she decided to wear stylized heels to make her thighs look better, only to end up ruining it by calling Baekhyun’s name. Sure, it was clear that things with Jaebeom weren’t going anywhere, lukewarm, pointless and based in attraction only, but what was Baekhyun doing inside her head while she was getting it on.

Or almost, consequently.

The first person she decides to call is Chohee, but she’s staying at Haesol’s place for the weekend. She keeps walking, rummaging through her contact list, getting hold of some of her friends and getting denied equally. Sure, it’s Sunday, but most people should be home by now—

The letter ‘B’ surprises her then, and perhaps it’s the obsession of not wanting to continue walking and create blisters on her feet, but she calls him. Dials Baekhyun’s phone without a single ounce of guilt within her body, because it’s Baekhyun, he probably won’t answer—

“Douchebag on line, what can I help you with?”

“Mhm, things with Jaebeom are over…” She tries to avoid telling unnecessary details, tugging her pink coat closer to her chest. “And I’m in the middle of the street, away from home, cold and hungry. So, if you’re available…could you come pick me up? I can call a taxi if you’d like.”

“That asshole.” He breathes out, not knowing the complete story and how, in retrospect, she is the asshole in this story. “Don’t you dare call a taxi. Is there any store around?”

Her eyes scan the street before landing on a convenience store. Opened twenty-four hours. “Yes, a convenience store.”

“Good, stay there and tell me the address. I’ll be there in no time.”

###

He can’t physically understand it. Not a single braincell inside Baekhyun’s brain can’t begin to comprehend why someone would simply end a date with her when she looks good enough to break hearts.

Wrapped up tightly in a blanket, she brings the mug of hot chocolate he had prepared for her up to her lips, staring towards the screen as a new episode of The Rookie takes her attention away from him. Truth be told, Baekhyun was in the middle of a recording when she had called—thus, she wouldn’t know Sundays at night are the times he uses to record—, but he couldn’t bear to imagine how Dr. Lim, Dr. Fancy Eyes, Lim Jaebeom, could even think of finishing a date with the one woman that did not even blink at the sight of him.

Well, there are a handful that can’t stand him…but still, Baekhyun doesn’t know what Jaebeom was thinking.

“What happened—?”

Shame takes over her features when she munches on one of the small marshmallows that accidentally slip through her lips. A glare later and the few seconds of silence that follow after, he knows the answer she has repeated endless times since she has gotten here. “I won’t tell.”

With that, Baekhyun plops himself down harsher on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest just after fixing the glasses on the bridge of his nose. Sure, she may look like a daydream on his brown couch and blend perfectly well with the warmth of his home, but that doesn’t give her the benefit to do what she pleases in his house. “It’s just kind of stupid that I picked you up, drove you all the way here, made you hot chocolate, let you thirst over Tim on the screen and you don’t even dare tell me what happened between you and Dr. Douchebag.”

She quirks an eyebrow at that, sighing in the process. “I am Dr. Douchebag. Not him.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I get to be an ass sometimes, Baek.”

“Yes, but only to me.” He looks at her from the corner of his eyes, spreading both his hands behind his neck as he sighs through his nose. “You don’t have to tell me, you know.” His voice lowers, the same tone he uses when he is in the solitude of his home and records himself, trying to make others happy. Pathetic, ain’t it? “…But it’d be nice to know. The least I want is for you to suffer like I have,” He stops himself for a moment, giving her half a smile, no teeth. “And it sucks, to trust someone and have it once again not be the person you want or deserve, but you’re so beautiful inside and out that I truly think it’s his loss.”

Sure, he could tell anyone that she’s gorgeous. Plenty of times had he talked to Chanyeol about how adorable her smile was and how she could have him at her mercy with one twinkle of her eyes, but that’s not something he had told her since that night when they were twenty and he was a little bit tipsy.

She swears he was drunk, but he wasn’t. Vivid enough for him to tell the truth.

“It’s not his loss.” Her voice whispers, husky from lack of use. “Jaebeom is just…too tranquil. It’s good, but it’s not what I want. We can’t let relationships flow all the time. Sometimes, we have to take reigns. I need to stop wanting tranquil, voiceless, silent…because a love that is silent is a love that is not truly felt.” She scoffs at that moment, taking another sip of her drink. “I wish I was like you.”

His palm rests on her forehead, as if testing her fever. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what did you do with my friend?”

Finally, he steals a smile out of her, dizzy in the way she looks at him from below her eyelashes. “You have always been so honest about the people you like or love. Who you want to have sex with, who you want to date, who you’d marry…you always say it all and you let them know. You’ve gotten your heart broken, but you always cut ties first.” That way, he knows exactly just how wrong she is. Baekhyun has told everyone what he thinks, but not to her. He has never told her just how in love he is with the memories they have shared. In which he has made a fool of himself but still managed to get a smile out of the most serious woman he knows. “The first time I cut ties with someone is because I feel nothing for him.”

“You felt nothing for Jaebeom?”

“Obvious attraction, but who doesn’t?” She shrugs. “Look me in the eye and tell me the man doesn’t have the most gorgeous eyes you have seen.”

Those would be hers, but Baekhyun shakes his head. “Sorry. Got lost from the moment you told me you felt nothing for Jaebeom because those are the best news I’ve heard the past century.”

A chuckle leaves her lips. “Why?”

“He’s flavorless.”

“Totally not.”

“Totally yes.” Baekhyun corrects, playing around with the remote, given that they are not catching up on the episode anyways. “I always imagined you with someone better.”

“Yeah? I always imagined you with a hot ass girl with anime tits.”

“A-Men.” Baekhyun parts the word in two syllables, lifting his hands in the air as if to pray for it just to steal laughter away from her. “You take me as a boobs man only, right?”

“Scarlett Johansson told me so.”

“I look at other things apart from boobs.” Baekhyun says, shrugging in the process. “Even if they are not there, I can like someone.”

“Like what?” She asks, turning on her side and taking another sip of her drink. Cream gathers on her upper lip, and he takes the edge of the blanket to pass it over it to clean it up.

“Intelligence. Rationality. Profoundness. I want a woman who looks like she could never rule the world but has everyone under the sole of her feet. Including me, of course.” Baekhyun’s face is far closer to hers than intended, licking his lips when he looks into her eyes. “I want a woman who laughs at what I say but also knows that I’m more than just a joke on legs.”

Her eyes trail all over his features, before saying: “Those who don’t notice it, don’t know you.” She claims. “You’re far sweeter than you let yourself be known for.”

“Because I talk about tits and I make the magic leave?”

“Kind of.” She replies, a chuckle in her tone. “…And because you don’t realize just how great you are, so you go for whatever woman you think matches you. And you’re wrong. You only deserve the best.”

Heated up to the core of his heart, Baekhyun sighs. “Are you sure you’re not running a fever?”

“I might check. I’m giving compliments to the biggest douchebag I know.” She takes the last sip of her drink before smiling. “Or maybe, I just took your spot and I’m the biggest bitch now.”

Baekhyun pats her head, shaking his own in the process. “Say it. The baddest bitch.”

“I prefer to be the cutest bitch.”

“The most intelligent bitch I know.” Baekhyun replies, pushing himself away when a second too long of silence settles between the two. His hands end up on his waist, extending and flexing his back in order to ease his muscles. “Finish watching the episode while I go prepare the guest’s room for you tonight.”

And with that, he tries to control the beating of his heart. He knows better than to go back to some stupid, childish crush.

### 

Turns out that romance is complicated. It either speaks in screamed words or unintelligible whispers, but it’s never going to be any easier. She thought, for once, that going with the flow would bring her happiness and now, she can’t even face Jaebeom without feeling guilt creeping up on her, as well as embarrassment. They are colleagues, after all, and maybe, making out with him for hours to no end leaves little room for her not to think about it happening…but the worst part of it all is when romance starts to go crazy, randomizes a person and then, it settles them inside her heart.

Never would she have thought that she’d think of Baekhyun in such a light that she’d find herself smiling at the thought of him, texting him with more frequency and spending more and more time with him. Never would she have thought that there would come a day that she goes to sleep so fulfilled with the life she has, even when they are nothing, that she would not need Blue Moon—who, coincidentally, sounds a lot like Baekhyun, and maybe, that’s why she was so into him—. She doesn’t need someone to lull her to sleep, because she’s tired of the complete days she’s having. With friends, with work and most importantly, with peace for the decisions she has taken in life.

So, it comes easily to her to hover over that button, staring at nights spent with someone whom she doesn’t really know…and she doesn’t want to listen to anymore. After all, the romantic thoughts inside her head are taken by Byun Baekhyun, and she still has to fix that, because that definitely won’t go anywhere…so, it’s better to start by something easier.

Are you sure you want to cancel your subscription to Blue Moon’s channel?

Accept.

###

Within a month, she already feels like she’s losing her mind.

Why the fuck did she start crushing on Baekhyun?

The tones of the city remain as gray as ever, polished by concrete and the movement of people in monochromatic clothes, but in between what she knows—what she has grown accustomed to, there is some light. Seated by the glassed windows of the small café Chohee likes to frequent once Haesol is around town is this one man that beams with happiness, eyes twinkling behind his glasses. His back hunches in relaxation, toying with the straw on his cup of coffee. She knows it probably has too much caffeine and sugar for his slim, toned body, but there is nothing that ever stops Baekhyun from getting the same order. In between brown woodened tables with red tablecloths, he shines the most, sporting his favorite yellow hoodie, one to match his best friend’s bleached blonde hair.

Haesol finally manages to find his phone, patting his hand against the pocket of his red cardigan until Chohee cuts through the air, interrupting whatever he was meaning to say.

“Not so bad looking when you stop calling him a douchebag, isn’t he?”

Those words take her off guard, putting her hands up her chest as if to protect her heart. Chohee is gleaming, holding onto her boyfriend’s arm as they stand on the other side of the street, covering the sidewalk with their bodies. She shakes her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I do.” Chohee confirms. “…You’ve accidentally reignited the old flame Baekhyun and you had the first night you met at my birthday party and now you realize that all that banter throughout the years was undying sexual tension?”

“Banter does not equal sexual tension,” She reports, lifting her index finger in the air. “That’s a wronged conceptualization of romance aiming to make people believe that love can only be fueled if there are arguments.”

“…You two don’t really argue.” Chohee shrugs her shoulders, pushing her long hair behind them. “You just play argue. You like calling him a ‘douchebag’ because it gives you a reaction and a reason not to fall for him. You’ve done it for years because you’re attracted to Baekhyun and it’s easier to believe that opposites don’t attract.”

Haesol tugs at his girlfriend’s arm, pulling her with him to cross the street. She follows right after the couple. “Honey, I don’t think you should be psychoanalyzing the situation. They’re both adults and she should know how to act up on her crush.”

Huh, for someone who is so quiet he can barely be heard, Haesol has some bite to his tongue.

“I am not crushing on Baekhyun.”

Chohee looks over her shoulder once they are at the entrance of the café. “Right,” She drags her voice, sarcasm dripping from every tone. “Because you’re in love with him.”

“Chohee, let it go.” Haesol reasons, opening the door to the café just as she scoffs.

“I am not in love with him. He’s a douchebag. He’d leave me with whoever has a bigger cup size than me, wouldn’t he?”

She knows he’s wrong. Baekhyun is not as stupid as she has tried to paint him out to be.

Which is why she tugs at the collar of her coral blouse upon seeing him waving his hand at her, dragging himself on his seat to make space for her. The way his hair, disheveled as always, curls against his forehead has her wanting to run her fingers through it, calm him down after a stressful day in a job she knows he doesn’t want, but before she could give him a smile—awkward, albeit—, Chanyeol captures his attention by showing him his phone and his grin practically erases off his face.

Weird.

By the time she gets closer to the duo, she gets a glimpse of their conversation. “Chanyeol, I won’t go out on a date ever again—”

“I’m not telling you to go out on a date with Minjung, but we need to find someone with a good fanbase to make some roleplay recordings with.”

The world stops for a few seconds. Actually, it feels like years have passed by right in front of her eyes when she realizes just what Chanyeol has freed into the world. It can’t be possible that the recurrent thought of how alike Blue Moon and Baekhyun sounded could be true. After all, Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to record himself and do boyfriend roleplays just because he feels like it. It shouldn’t—

Everyone has seated on the table, but she stays upright, finally returning to her senses when she awkwardly laughs. “Roleplay recordings?”

Baekhyun hums in the process, giving a small nod as his ears tinge in red. “Well, I need a bit more money and I started a Patreon account, where I do boyfriend roleplays. People want me to expand to rated stuff, but I don’t know, I’m iffy about it.” That’s the moment she lets her guard fall entirely. He doesn’t know it, but embarrassment takes all over her body. All this time, her mind had connected with the same man in different occasions, enough to have her shaking her head when she gives one step back. “Hey, it’s not that big of a deal. Do you find it weird?”

“You were Blue Moon?” Her voice comes out in a whisper, suddenly unaware of the people around her, when Baekhyun’s eyes widen by being caught, opening his mouth and closing it subsequently, babbling to find his voice.

“I—I was…” He says. “We—Were you a subscriber?”

“Oh my God,” She gasps to herself, placing her hands on top of her face to cover her eyes. “Oh God, I just did not subscribe to your Patreon without absolutely having no idea for months.”

Baekhyun chuckles awkwardly, lifting his hand to rub the nape of his neck. “I think you did.”

“I have to get out of here.” Aware of her embarrassment, she moves towards the door, hearing Baekhyun’s footsteps trailing after her.

“Wait, no. It’s okay! I just—It’s flattering!”

“For you, definitely not for me.” She replies, turning around just as she opens the door to the café, sparing him a glance before groaning deeply. “Shit, how couldn’t I notice that the similarities were there?”

“I guess you didn’t really think I would go for a job like that.” Baekhyun gives a gummy smile, biting his bottom lip soon after. “Can we just talk about this—?”

“Sorry, Baek.” Shaking her head, she clears her throat soon after. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about this right now.”

With that, she closes the door behind her, perhaps choosing to ignore all opportunity she has had with Baekhyun, but what is she supposed to do? Admit the crush that she grew both on a faceless man speaking sweet nothings into her ear and her friend? It’s too much turmoil for just one afternoon.

###

Another card ends up under her boot when she steps inside her apartment. The thirteenth one since the last time she saw Baekhyun, coming daily for thirteen days straight. She’ll give it to him, the man is smart enough to keep her on the edge with these cards, but each and every single time, she folds them over and places them in her coffee table’s cabinet, there for her to read once she doesn’t feel like the world is falling on top of her.

It’s horrid. Awkward. Awful in a lot of ways. She can’t look at him in the eye and suddenly tell him that his voice was the one that calmed her down in so many nights but that past that, his personality was the one that captured her whole, made her dream of him and think him into her life as a memory she never wants to get rid of. For fuck’s sake, she lost the opportunity of having something with Lim Jaebeom just because she was absolutely head over heels for Baekhyun.

Her friend.

The douchebag.

When, all along, she has been the douchebag in everyone’s life.

Just when she closes her door behind her, she hears a thud and a whine following soon after. That timbre of voice makes her turn around, sparing a glance towards the door before peeping through the peephole. Much to her lack of delight—though, some relief washes over her—Baekhyun is standing by the door, wearing that terrible turquoise chemise that he uses for work and somehow, not angered that she has probably bruised his face when he holds the bridge of his nose between his index and thumb.

“Ouch!” He hisses, pulling his fingers away and sighing in relief when there is no blood. “You know, I know the ER is the best place to find you, but I’m not sure I want to break or strain any other part of my body.”

A smile appears on her face, though she tries to push it down, resting her forehead against the door as if that manages to make her get closer to him. “Baekhyun, what are you doing here?”

“Getting injured, apparently.” Baekhyun huffs out in annoyance, letting go of his nose to splay his hand on top of the door. She swears she hears his palm softly hitting the surface. “…I kept pushing notes under your door for the past thirteen days and I thought you were ignoring them, but you didn’t even read them on the first place.”

She’s not the best of people, what can she say? But it’s stupid to believe Baekhyun would ever feel anything back for her. They are total opposites, and he has already spoken about what he wants in life to her. He wants someone serious, intelligent, put-together. She’s a mess of misconceptions and unspoken words.

“I don’t want to get attached, Baekhyun.” She says, turning around to look towards the rest of her apartment, with her back leaning against the door. “I subscribed to Blue Moon because I wanted to feel less lonely. Well, I subscribed to you…and I spent months wishing I had someone like him, and then, I questioned why I wanted someone like you. Why, when being with Jaebeom, I could only think of you and only pushed him away by comparing him to how much flavor and spice and humor you brought into my life…” Her voice becomes distant, heat flaring around her face when she clears her throat. “And I painted a sky for me when I didn’t even know if you wanted to be a star in it. I suddenly realized just how stupid I was for thinking I had a chance, with Blue Moon or with you.”

Baekhyun stays silent for a few seconds, trying to twist the doorknob to no avail. “You really haven’t read the notes, have you?”

She sighs. “You don’t know how embarrassing it is to be in my position. I like you, Baekhyun. Fuck, if I want to be with someone, it’s with you and it’s pathetic—”

“Check the goddamned notes.” He says, calling out her name soon after. “If there’s someone who knows perfectly well how pathetic you feel, it’s me and truthfully, there’s no reason to.”

“You’re just saying it because you’re my friend.”

“No, I’m saying it as me. As Baekhyun. As the guy who sent you those notes.”

Her hands grab the pieces of paper in between her fingers, scrunching up her nose as she unfolds them. “What even are they, Baekhyun?”

“They are the thirteen times I didn’t tell you how much I liked you. From the moment I met you to now,” The more she reads through the letters, she sees glimpses of his mind through the years. From age twenty to now, Baekhyun had a whirlwind of emotions, never quite knowing what was a joke and what was meant to be much more. “And you always said I was a douchebag, not because of what I said about Scarlett Johansson, but because of what I said the night we met because you thought I was drunk but fuck no, I had never felt more sober in my life.” Baekhyun breathes out, just at the same time that she skims through the letters, getting in the information. In the past years, Baekhyun has liked her several times, getting over it only to move on to something else, but he always comes back to the same spot. “I meant every word and I mean it now. Don’t be embarrassed for liking me when I’m the stupid guy who has liked you for so long—”

She opens the door then, not caring if she’s a mess or the notes splay on the floor when her fingers caress the skin of his waist to bring him closer. Baekhyun feels like home, not too tranquil but rapid instead, a lake trying to move her off her boat as he grabs her by the back of the neck with one hand, digging his fingers on her hips to keep her closer. She molds into him as if made for each other, and maybe, they were, but she had always been too stupid to notice that there was more to Baekhyun than what he said.

In his silence, his whispers, his nothingness…that’s where he shined the most. When the jokes died down and all there was left of him was his sweet personality, though imperceptible at times, that was when she loved him the most.

When she pulls away, he leans in for a few more kisses, stealing a chuckle away from her when he continues to do so. “Did you just kiss me?”

“I guess I did.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around his neck to hug him tightly. “Shit, Baekhyun, you weren’t supposed to wait this long to tell me you liked me. We could have had our happy ending so long ago—”

With a movement of his legs, he swings the two of them side to side. “Well, it’s difficult to tell someone could like you back when they always call you a douche.”

“Sorry.” She pulls her face away, capturing his soft, thin lips in between her own before humming in delight. “But I’m not telling you go now, douchebag.”

He shrugs. “It’s never too late to start.”

###

The collar of his sweater fell off one shoulder, collarbones peaking out as he brought the same glass of champagne he had been drinking from up to his lips. Chohee dragged him along the masses of people in her party, wearing a tiara out of all things, as she spat out whatever nonsense she had inside her head of finding Baekhyun’s perfect match. Running a hand through his disheveled hair, he played along. It was not like he’d really find love in a place like this.

Though, when he saw her, dressed from head to toe in black, standing by a corner as she talked to Chohee’s new affair, Haesol, he thought he saw a glimpse of heaven. One of those angels that no one dared talk about because of their power, with a smile barely playing on her face, too difficult to get out, as she batted her eyelashes as softly as possible with every word she heard from Haesol. Her concentration was immaculate, unlike him, a little bit tipsy with flushed cheeks.

Chohee called out her name, one that he thought he would never forget, with her hand resting on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “…This is the guy I had been talking to you about, Baekhyun. We went to high school together and he’s been my sidekick ever since.” Chohee explained, and the woman was kind enough to extend her hand, stealing a breath away from him and settling a challenge on the top of his head when seeing her. He wanted to have her, but it was almost impossible—he knew this from just one glance. Difficult as difficult could get.

“Hi, nice to meet you. Chohee hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

“Well, I hadn’t heard about you but I wished I did.” Baekhyun spoke, taking a sip of his drink when he shook her hand with his. Soft, strikes of electricity going up his arm when they touched. “Nice to meet you, too. I’m Baekhyun, or your future husband. Whatever you want me to be.”

A laugh ripped from her throat then, continued by a wheeze, as she moved her hand away from him. “Okay, douchebag, that was smooth, but good luck with that. I’m not much of a dater.”

Baekhyun shrugged then, as if knowing something more. “Give me time, I’ll make it happen.”

And he did.

[bluewhale52]

My Fantasy (M)

Summary: Namjoon has a fantasy he wants to fulfill. You’re more than happy to do it for him.

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Genre: smut, kinda angtsy and kinda fluffy? Namjoon and OC are friends with benefits

Word count: 4.1k

Rating: 18+/ M/ NSFW. Minors are not welcome here.

Warning: boss - secretary roleplay, breast and nipple play, oral (m & f receiving), face fucking, deep throating, vaginal fingering, unprotected penetrative sex (pls practice safe sex!), multiple orgasm, degradation (Joon calls OC slut a couple of times) soft dom! Joon if you squint, sweet Joon, big tiddie Joon and big biceps Joon because what’s a girl to do when he’s been flaunting it?

Also ON era for Joon reference.

Enjoy, hope you like it 💜

You twirl in front of the floor length mirror in your walk-in wardrobe, and give yourself a satisfied smile. 

He’d love this, you think, that you’re wearing just as what he’s asked. The light blue lingerie set is hidden under a cute, lacy shirt and a flowy skirt. You had offered to wear a shorter skirt, one that gives a peep of your ass when you bend over in the slightest. But he refused it- he wanted to leave more to the imagination. And you gladly accept his explanation. It’ll make tonight more fun. You’ll just have to be extra flirty and playful with him.

He arrives five minutes early than the arranged time, as always. You give your place a last look- clean without any sign of personal photos or items, candles with sweet smells of cinnamon-vanilla lit and positioned strategically in your living room. Checking your makeup and your hair one last time, your body tingles as you head to the door.

His tall, lean body fills the doorway easily. He’s grown his hair longer since you last saw him, and you like it. Shaggy strands reaching his eyes, the sides long enough to tuck behind his ears. You’ll have fun tugging his hair tonight. Looking further south, you notice his chest seems broader too, filling his black sweater, making your mouth water. Oh, you’ll have fun scraping your nails on his pecs, all right. 

“Namjoon,” you greet him with a sweet, smile, rising on your toes to kiss his cheek. 

“Hi _______ ,” he smiles back and gives you a hug. His large hands pressing your back, sending shivers down your spine. He steps into your apartment, and takes a deep breath. “Smells nice in here.”

You hum smugly. “I knew you’d like it.” 

“I like what you’re wearing too.” He looks you up and down. “Thanks for letting me pick out your outfit tonight.”

Not just punctual, he’s always so polite and sweet too. That's why he’s your favourite in your little black book.

You twirl for him, your skirt rising slightly above your knees as your turn. “Pretty.” you hear him murmur. But from the way he looks at you, you know pretty is not the only thing he thinks of you now. 

You link your fingers with his. “Wine?” you offer.

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather drink you up.” He licks his lips.

Your breath hitches at his action. You lead him into your expansive living room, and direct him to sit on your leather sofa, across from your large flat screen TV. It’s a calculated move; he’ll be able to see his and your reflection there. 

Namjoon settles himself on your sofa, and you stand between his spread legs. His hands reaches for the hem of your skirt, fingering it gingerly but with great anticipation. You sway your hips slightly, coyly, making your skirt floats playfully over his hands.

“Are you teasing me, little one?” Your skin burns at his pet name for you.

“Do you want me to tease you, Daddy?” He groans. Still standing, you lean forward towards him, arching your back slightly, to push your breasts to his face.

“Hmmm,” he meets you halfway, you can feel his hard chest against your tummy, he is eye level with your breasts, and his hands have moved up to grope your ass over your skirt. And your panties, you can feel them getting wetter by the second.

Namjoon clears his throat. “Do you mind, if tonight you call me Mr Kim?” he asks shyly. 

Now you are sure your panties are ruined. 

“Not at all. If that’s what you want.” You tuck his hair behind his ear. Yes, you definitely prefer his longer hair.

“It’s just... it’s been a really shitty month at work, and uh... I’ve fantasized about it for weeks...” he trails off.

You run your fingers through his hair. “Ah, I get it. You want me to be an innocent secretary so you can take advantage of me?” You tease him.

He lets our a nervous laughter, burying his face on your chest. Your heart is beating so fast, you’re sure he can feel it.

“So cliche, isn't it?” He looks up at you. God, you are so weak for this man.

You slide your fingers from his hair down to his shoulders. “Oh, Mr Kim,” you demurely say, “your shoulders are so tense. You must be so stressed out from work.” 

“I am, Miss _____ ,” he mouths against your chest, you feel his hot breath through your shirt. “Help me take my mind off work?” His hands are still over your skirt, rubbing up and down your the back of your thighs. 

You moan when he suddenly rubs harder, dragging your skirt material up towards your ass. “How can I help you, sir?” You meet his eyes, your voice breathy. This part is not an act, you are truly desperate for him.

He leans back on the sofa, and you almost whine out loud when his hands leave your legs. “You can start by showing me your pretty panties.” His eyes stare at your core.

Putting on a shy smile, you reach the hem of your skirt and slowly pulls it up, until your light blue satin panties are in full view for Namjoon. He exhales steadily, his firm gaze makes you ache for him even more.

“You like what you see, Mr Ki- Ah!” You moan out loud as his finger slides between your legs, pressing onto your slit over your panties. He drags the tip lazily forward, but stops just before reaching your clit.

“Why don’t you turn around, let me see it from the back?” You obediently do as he asks. “Bend over, put your hands on the coffee table.” 

You suppress your moan as you get into position. With his legs between yours, he wedges you to stand with feet apart, spread as wide as possible. You bend forward, resting your elbows on the coffee table, silently thanking your daily yoga regiments.

Namjoon flips your skirt over your bottom, and you can hear him shuffling forward. You look up to your TV, seeing your wanton self reflected on the screen. You gasp and close your eyes as you feel Namjoon’s nose poking at your sex. 

“You smell so good,” you shudder at his breath over your slit. “And you are so fucking wet. Did I make you wet, Miss _____ ?”

You whimper. “Yes, Mr Kim, you always make me so wet.”

Namjoon flattens his tongue on your panties. You nearly wail at the sensation. “Mr Kim!” Your body jerks forward, but somehow you manage to grind yourself back at his mouth.

His fingers are at the waistband of your panties. “Take them off.”

You straighten up and quickly pull your panties down, your back still to Namjoon, and his hands bunching your skirt around your waist. Then you spread your legs again, and you bend forward, slowly, giving him a full view of your bare pussy and ass.

You swear you hear him whine before he roughly grabs your ass and spread your asscheeks. His mouth immediately latches onto your cunt, tongue greedily pokes into your dripping hole, before it moves upwards to the skin between your pussy and your asshole. You sob his name out loud and your whole body shudders at his ministrations. 

“Taste so good,” Namjoon says between licks. “I’m going to eat you out all night.” Lick. “Gonna make you cum on my tongue over and over.” Lick. “Gonna drink you up.” Lick. 

“Mr Kim, Mr Kim...” you chant his name like a prayer. “I’m so close...”

“Already?” Amusement clear in his voice. “I’ve only just started, little one. Such a slut, are you, impatient to cum for me?”

“Please, Mr Kim...” you beg, when you feel Namjoon’s mouth leaving your soaking core. “I want to cum so bad. For you.” You look up and catch your reflection, and Namjoon’s, on the TV. You look so desperate. And Namjoon’s reflection smirks at you.

He returns to your dripping cunt, starts to lap up at your juices even more hungrily. His large hands are on your ass cheeks still, fingers digging, moulding your flesh this way and that.

Your clit is throbbing painfully, you can’t believe he hasn’t even touch it since you started. Your legs are shaking more now, you feel the lusty tautness all over your body. Namjoon’s tongue moves up and circles your puckered hole, making you cry out his name. Then he quickly goes back to your wet hole, tongue-fucking you to your orgasm and through it.

Namjoon patiently waits till you come down from your high. He helps you stand up, his hands rubbing all over your body, easing the achiness from being bent over for an extended period of time. 

“Are you OK, little one?” He envelops you from behind. You sigh as you feel your skirt floats down to cover your bare sex and ass. You nod.

“That was amazing, Mr Kim,” you answer, still breathless. “You make me feel so good.”

“I love making you feel good, you deserve it.” Groaning against your hair, Namjoon cups your breasts. The lace on your shirt feels rough against his hands. He can't wait to feel your satin bra underneath. 

“I’ve fantasised this so many times, little one. Spreading you on my desk, eating your pretty little cunt.” He leans down to nibble on your ear. “You hiding under my desk, sucking me off. Seeing these tits bounce as you ride me in my office. Fucking you against the wall in the restroom.”

You lean back against Namjoon, your juices continue leaking down your thighs. Your heart is pounding so hard against your chest and Namjoon feels it, his hands kneading your breasts harder. You press yourself closer to him, his hard cock poking against your lower back and you drool at the feel of it.

Turning around, you palm and stroke Namjoon’s cock over his slacks. “Can I suck you, Mr Kim?” 

Namjoon shakes his head. “I told you little one, I want to make you cum over and over with my tongue tonight.”

“But you’re so hard,” you pout cutely. Namjoon taps your nose.

“You'll get my cock soon enough. After I make you cum again. OK, little one?”

You let Namjoon move you, to sit you on the sofa, your ass close to the edge. He kneels between your legs, instructing you to lift the front of your skirt.  Once again bared to him, he swallows thickly. He breathes in the smell of your sex, his mind drunk for you. He can’t get enough. You always make him want more.

Namjoon grabs your legs and lifting them to form an erotic V. You feel yourself pulsate down there, squeezing out arousal to drip down onto your skirt underneath. He dives in greedily.

You’re pretty sure you're howling as Namjoon makes out with your sex for the second time tonight. You’ve never met anyone who loves giving oral as much as Namjoon does, or anyone who is so good at it. His mouth and tongue continuously draw out more and more of your sweet nectar. He gulps it down like a man starved.   

Namjoon can feel your thighs shaking again. He doesn’t want you to cum yet. He removes his mouth, and you are about to protest when you see his mouth and chin glistening with your arousal. Raising himself up till he is face to face to you, Namjoon replaces his mouth with his fingers. You gasp as he slides two fingers in smoothly, eased by your natural lubrication.

He kisses you as he fingers you. And your chest contracts at every movement his lips and tongue against yours. You can taste yourself, but you taste him too. Coffee, and something spicy. But there's more. You’ve hardly ever kissed during your sessions; a little peck here and there to say hello and goodbye, but never this kind of kiss when you’re both chasing pleasures, and never this.... passionate.

Namjoon pulls away, panting, breaking the kiss. He looks as affected as you are. “Unbutton your blouse.” He gruffly orders. The squelching sound his fingers in your wet hole fill the air. You undo the top three button of your top then he stops you. He can see the top of your breasts, and the light blue satin material supporting your globe is peeking out. “One more button.” 

Namjoon feels weak. You, his sweet girl, are spread open before him like a goddamn buffet. He rests his head between your breasts, feeling your heartbeat on his skin, crazily in sync with his, while his fingers are wrapped tightly within your walls. He licks the top of your breast, just above the bra. Your skin breaks into goosebumps. 

Namjoon inserts a third finger, and you squeal. He bites down and sucks on your skin as you clench tightly at the new intrusion. Your fingers find their way to his hair, tugging his strands as he continues to leave marks on your breast.

He pushes down the cups of your bra, freeing your breasts, then he sucks your nipples alternately. With every hard tug from his mouth, you close in sharply on his fingers. 

“You feel so good, fuck. Why do you always feel so good?” He mumbles against your globes. 

You’re rendered speechless. The assault of his fingers and his mouth on your body is deliciously sinful. “J- Jo... Mr Kim... please...” you beg. You want to cum. That’s all you want right now, to cum for Namjoon.

Namjoon returns to your core, wrapping his mouth around your needy clit, his tongue immediately goes into overdrive flicking it. He adds a fourth finger into you, and his free hand reaches to your nipple to continue tugging and pinching it. You throw your head back, your hands pressing Namjoon’s head tighter onto your weeping sex, and soon your body convulses, your second orgasm hitting you like a truck.

Namjoon lets go of your clit and your nipple, but his four fingers are still pumping into you, albeit at a slower pace. He kisses you again, his body pressing you deeper into your sofa. “Sweet, so sweet,” he says between kisses, “my little one.”

There it is again, the squeeze around your heart. You break the kiss, in need for air, and Namjoon rests his forehand on yours. Slowly, he pulls his fingers out and licks his thumb and ring finger.  His pointer and middle finger, he offers them to you.

Eagerly, you part your lips and suck his fingers in. Swirling your tongue around them, you close your eyes as you savour your own taste. Namjoon stands up, taking you along with him. He smiles at your state of undress. 

“Bedroom?” You offer, tucking your breasts back into your bra. You leave your top unbuttoned. Namjoon nods.

Once inside your room, you sit on the edge of the bed, Namjoon standing before you between your legs. He strokes your hair tenderly as you work his belt and his slacks, then his boxers.

His long, heavy cock greets you. “May I, Mr Kim?”

“Of course, little one.” At his permission, you kiss the little slit at the tip, sucking the precum off. Then you run your tongue up and down his shaft, before you close your lips around the head to start taking him in.

Relaxing your jaws, you let his length slides deeper, until you feel the head meeting your throat. You whimper, and Namjoon rubs your cheek encouragingly. “Relax, little one, you can take it.”

Controlling your breathing, you push yourself to take the rest of him in, until your nose bumps his skin. Namjoon hisses above you, cursing and praising you at the same time. Wrapping your lips tighter, you pull out leisurely, before taking his hot throbbing member back in. 

Namjoon watches you deep-throating him a few more times, enjoying your wet mouth, before he commands you to grab onto his hips. You follow him obediently, and he wraps your hair around his hand. “Ready, little one?” You nod. “Remember to pinch me if it gets too much.” You nod again, unable to speak as his cock still fills your mouth.

Without warning, he holds your head steady as he starts to fuck your mouth roughly. You close your eyes, focusing your throat and mouth to relax as his cock pistons furiously. As Namjoon moans above you, you close your eyes and tears start streaking down your cheek. Your saliva drools out with every thrust, your hands grip his hips more tightly. But you don’t pinch him. 

Instead you open your eyes and look up at him. He moans as he stares down your face, his face scrunching up. “God, little one, your mouth is a sin.” You moan against his pulsing member. His hips are starting to stutter, and with a curse he pulls out suddenly.

Still holding your hair tightly, he frenziedly pumps himself. You open your mouth and stick your tongue out, ready to receive him. Crying out your name, his seed spurts out, painting your lower face.

Once empty, Namjoon leans over you, his head on your shoulder as he calms down. “Joon,” you drop your role-play act, “your sweater will get dirty.” You try to inch yourself away to avoid staining his clothes with his cum on your face. 

“Mmmm, don’t care.” He mumbles. You chuckle and gently push him onto the bed. Opening his eyes, he watch you as you lick his cum off your lips. “So hot, you always look so hot with my cum on you.”

You see his flacid cock twitch slightly. “Is Mr Kim all de-stressed now?” you coo at him, playing with his hair.

“Not until I get to feel that sweet cunt, little one. Strip for me, make me hard again.”

You stand up, and seductively start to unbutton the rest of your blouse. Once it’s on the floor, you unclasp your bra and hook it around his neck to pull him closer to you for a kiss. He then mouths at your bare chest, but you tut at him. You help him take off his sweater and the shirt underneath, and you finally get to run your hands over his hard pecs. You drag your fingers over his skin, and he grabs your waist. Your skirt is the remaining article on your body. You pull it down, finally fully naked before Namjoon.

You take a step back, out of Namjoon’s hold. You glide your hands from your hips, up the sides of your body, then to cup your breasts. “You like what you see, Mr Kim?” Teasingly, you move your hands down your stomach, then back up around your bosom, to your neck, gathering up your hair, holding it at the top of your head.

Namjoon is hard again, from watching you feeling yourself up. Once his cock is standing at full attention, you step back to the space between his legs. “How do you want me to fuck you, little one?”

“Let me ride you, Mr Kim.”

Namjoon moves back to sit himself against the headboard. You crawl on the bed, towards him. Positioning yourself above him, he cups your pussy. “Hmm, still wet for me, little one.”

“Always, Mr Kim. Only you can make me this wet.” You’re shocked at your own sincerity. But it is true- lately he’s all you can think about.

Bracing yourself on his shoulders, you let him guide his cock into your hole. You sigh as he breaches you, his hands firm on your waist, helping you sinking further down on him. You wince as he bottoms out, he always feels so deep in you. “So full, Mr Kim.”

“I love stretching you little one,” he nuzzles against your neck. “Your tight pussy always takes my fat cock so well.”

You start grinding over him, rolling your hips around while you tighten your inner walls to massage his cock inside you. Satisfied with the groans you elicit from his mouth, you start to move up and down. Little bounces at first, and soon you become greedy. You work your thigh muscles to lift you higher, then to lose yourself down his length. 

With every movement, your breasts jiggle right in front of Namjoon. The look on his face spurs you on. Picking up your pace, you ride him harder and faster. Your bedroom is soon filled with the sounds of your panting, Namjoon’s groans, and the slapping of your skin against his.

Namjoon can’t take his eyes off of you. His eyes keep darting from the gradually fucked out expression on your face, to your juicy tits jumping wildly before him, and to his cock slipping so smoothly in and out of you. He is drunk on your sight, your smell, your touch. How his cock is so slippery, coated by your mouthwatering extract. How you breathe his name as you chase your peak.

Namjoon hand slides up to your neck and he closes his fingers around you. Squeezing slightly, you gasp, losing your momentum, and Namjoon slams his hips upwards into you. Your eyes widened, your mouth letting out a silent scream. He pounds into you a few more times, each time harder than the previous one, and he releases your throat once he hears you sob.

He wraps his arms around you, pulling you close and tightly to him. “Good girl, such a good girl for me, little one.” He praises you. “Such a good slut for me and my cock.” You mewl.

“I want to fuck you stupid. To ruin you.” Namjoon holds your waist again. His hips thrust upwards mercilessly into you. “To make you want no other cock but mine. I want you to cream for my cock and my cock only.”

You start to cry, he is hitting so deep within you, you’re sure he will split you in half. You grab onto his biceps, feeling the muscles tensing as he continues to pump into you.

“Miste- ohhh! Ooooh! Namjo...” you babble incoherently. The pleasure of being impaled is turning your mind into mush. “Clo.. ooh so close...”

Namjoon sucks your neck. “So am I. little one.” He moans pitifully. “Cum with me, ______,  please.”

After only a few more thrusts, your body jerks as you reach your climax. You hug Namjoon as you convulses violently around him, sending him towards his orgasm too. He explodes inside you, shooting his cum deep into you. 

Clinging to each other, your sweaty bodies sticky as your breathing slows down and the ringing in your ears disappear. You open your eyes, to find Namjoon’s still closed, and you cup his face tenderly. Exhausted, you nestle yourself in the crook of is neck. His hand lazily rubs little circles on your lower back.

You and Namjoon stay in that position, god knows how long. You’ve never cuddled like this before, this is a new level of intimacy foreign yet not unwelcome. You force yourself to pull out of his embrace, before it gets too far.

Plopping yourself to sit next to him, you break the silence. “That was amazing, Namjoon. The best s-”

“Let me stay the night.” Namjoon cuts you off. Your heart stops. "Let me be more than just a fuck and go.”

You gulp audibly. This is against your agreement, five months ago, when you and Namjoon entered into a mutually beneficial arrangement. No feelings, just sex. That was what you both agreed on. He was just to be a name on your list to call when you feel like it. How did it become more than that?

You tear up. You can’t help it. You can’t deny it felt different tonight. 

Namjoon rubs his hands over his face. “I’m sorry, I should’ve kept my mouth shut.” He gets up from your bed. “I thought there was something. I thought I felt something. Obviously I was wrong. It was just my fantasy.”

Dejected, he starts to pick up his clothes. You jump out and stop him. “Joon,” you hug him, as tight as you can, unwilling to let him leave. “It was my fantasy too.”

Namjoon freezes at your confession. Tilting your face up, you look into his eyes. “Stay the night. Please.” you plead.

Dropping his clothes, he cups your ass, and he hoists you up. You automatically wrap your legs around him, your arms around his neck. Carrying you to your bathroom, he whispers, “My sweet little one. My one and only.”

You whisper back, “My Joonie. My love.”

Published 12012021

[fandom-monium]

Alive Together - Day 1

Summary: Welcome to the Monsterpocalypse. You’re a lone wanderer trying to survive. Until you meet Joel Dawson and Boy.

WC: 4k

Tag/Warnings: light themes of death and grief?? Cursing but minimal. Slow burn. Enemies to friends to lovers?

AN: MEET CUTE? NO. MEET UGLY.

(Entry 2#3#)

Hungry. I have nothing else to report today except that I, (Your Name), am starving. Grilled spiders and roasted centipedes are starting to get old.

I've mentioned it before and I'll do it again, but I miss home cooked meals. Even Dad's shoddy attempts at recreating Mom's recipes. The last time I think was… nevermind.

It hurts; I barely remember the last time I had dinner with Dad, much less Mom, flashes of the memories I have left blurring. Probably from the tears. I used to cry at the slightest thought of Mom and then Dad. Now my heart clenches whenever I try because I shouldn't have to try to remember my own family. Believe it or not, it’s progress.

Maybe it's my fault. I hadn't bothered to snag any mementos that reminded me of them before fleeing the bunker, like an album or something. There weren't many personal items that they'd given me, now that I think about it. Too much clutter, the Captain said.

Or maybe it's the lack of consistent stimulus to my brain. I can't read as much as I'd like to, mainly because it's too dangerous to be distracted (constant vigilance is an important virtue in this world, if you hadn’t noticed). Most books that I've stumbled across (literally, I tripped over a hill of hardcovers. Not fun. Very painful) were either tattered or worn beyond comprehension, destroyed by rain or monster attacks.

Speaking of, my stomach grumbled. I need to start hunting before it gets dark... and before I attract another monster to myself. Again.

-(Your Name) (Your Last Name)

Day 1 - First Impressions

You shut the journal as an ominous roar thunders in the distance. Heart in your throat, you’re already on your feet, shoving the book into your pack and gathering the rest of your things. Once you’re certain there’s no trace left of you on the roof, you gaze at the neighborhood below, shielding your eyes as you scan for signs of alerted monsters.

Greenery and ruins go on for miles, unperturbed.

It’s high noon, rays of sunlight seeping through the clouds and warming your exposed skin. A gust of wind brushes your face and hair, and you suppress a smile. It’s not everyday the weather is this nice, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d relish in it.

Good thing you do know better.

You trace your path to the hills. The town is a maze of torn down buildings and overgrowth, winding roads littered with abandoned houses and wrecked vehicles, and, of course, hidden monsters. There’s only a couple hours before nightfall, and you’re far from your destination.

Better start walking. You’ve wasted enough time.

You climb down the side of the dilapidated house, dropping to the ground with a thump. If there’s one thing you’ve learned since the start of the apocalypse, it’s that residential areas harbored the most monsters, aside from the cities. Too many alcoves perfect for nesting. It’s safer away from the old world.

Safer, not safe.

You keep to the shadows, avoiding the open whenever you can despite the barren streets, darting between urban remnants. Your heart eventually settles as you scan your surroundings like anything and everything will pounce on you the second you let your guard down. By the time you cross the residential area and asphalt roads bleed into dry fields (from years of neglect, you somberly note), the sun has crept out from behind the clouds and the sky is clear blue.

You find a barn after hours of trudging through shrubs and your sore feet. It looms at the top of the hill leading to a dense forest, tall enough that as you step into its shadow it blocks out the sun. Walking closer, you tense as you scrutinize the place, eyes combing over the immediate vicinity.

Nothing. Nothing moves or breathes. You don’t see or hear a peep. Not from the barn or the woods beyond. It’s completely isolated from the nearby town, a perfect fort.

Or a nest.

You huff; shit like this has happened one too many times and you’d be a fool if you haven’t learnt your lesson by now. You pull out your javelin and approach with caution, leaves and grass crunching under your boots as you take in the chipped paint and boarded up windows, steadily making your way around the decrepit building. You frown at the clear deterioration, unable to spot any visible breaches.

Reaching the front of the barn, you gaze warily at the lone entrance. Tall doors ajar, old boards are still nailed across the slim gap or hanging precariously. As if someone or something pried them off, busted through.

In or out, you can’t tell.

For a moment, you weigh your options. You doubt the place had anything to offer, pillaged long before you stumbled upon it. Hell, there’s probably a monster nesting somewhere inside, or a bunch of monster eggs.

But you need food, supplies, rest. Are you willing to risk your life on the small chance this rickety barn can provide those things?

You stare down the the opening and it stares back, deceptively innocent. But it’s mocking you, you can hear it. Just daring you to walk away. 

You shuffle on aching feet, making your clothes rub against your sweaty skin.

As if on cue, your stomach growls.

Groaning, you adjust your grip on the spear before ducking inside.

You let your eyes adjust to the dark interior. Light seeps through the rotted ceiling and cracks from the boarded windows, enough that you don’t need a flashlight to see the place is deserted. You glance around the huge room, javelin ready as you wait with bated breath, ears straining to hear over your pounding heartbeat.

Nothing. You don’t hear anything, except the trees rustling outside. Nothing shifts or darts out of sight. No signs of life, not even eggs (that you can see).

It doesn’t mean you're clear, but it’s a start.

Biting your lip, you take a careful step, and another and another, your eyes sweeping the room as you tread over straw and debris. You pause mid-step when you catch a pulley system attached to the ceiling. It’s dark, but you recognize its outline. Frowning, you trace its small, thin woven ropes as they split in different directions against the ceiling and walls, hitting and crossing the floor until they disappear under a thick layer of hay.

You raise your foot, gently kicking away the straw. You step back.

A net. A decent sized one by the width of the patch of hay.

You sigh, shoulders dropping in relief. If you hadn’t been cautious you’d never have noticed it.

You make your rounds quickly as you check for resources. At this point, it’s muscle memory for you as you move through the room with silent purpose, efficient and controlled. You dig through every storage unit, every container, pulling open cabinets and drawers, tearing through the floor with precision as you toss aside rusted tools and empty cans, a pit burning in your stomach. You snarl, throwing down another torn rag. It hits the floor with a thud.

You knew this would happen. You know the chances, but after all this time you still feel the crushing disappointment? You let out a shaky breath, nostrils flaring as you attempt to quell your frustration.

You can practically hear your mother snap at you. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you, (Your Nickname), unless you want to die, her stern voice echoes. You unclench your teeth with a sigh.

It doesn’t take long, your anger simmering down with each exhale, and when you’re sure you’re calm enough, you resume your initial task: scavenging the barn. Is it a waste of time and energy? Yes. Will you find anything useful? Unlikely. Are you going to try anyway?

You head for the stairs to the hayloft. Even if there seems to be nothing left, you need to make sure.

A few minutes later, you're sifting through another trunk when a yelp cuts across the dusty air, followed by the shrill sound of grinding metal. You startle, hissing as you bang your head against the trunk lid. Pushing down the throbbing pain, you snatch your spear and clamber down the stairs, stumbling forward as your eyes darting around the dust drifting in the air. Something barks over you and you look up.

Huh. Did not expect that.

You were prepared for a snarling, limb crushing insect. Or maybe a triple jawed mammal. Even a mega-pig. You’ve seen enough of those and managed.

But a dog? More specifically, a dog caught in the net you barely avoided. It’s tangled in the ropes suspended just above your head, gently swaying. It seems it does not care for the swinging because it starts barking again, louder and more urgent than before.

“Ah, poor doggy,” you croon, lowering your weapon. To your surprise, the dog stops and jerks to face you, its dark eyes gleaming in the shadows. You eye the seemingly calm animal. “Now, how did you get here? Were you following me?”

The dog whines, squirming in a sad attempt to escape. Your lips quirk up. Aside from the occasional bird, you haven’t seen a normal animal in what feels like forever, much less a dog. Most regular animals were consumed by monsters or by people for food.

Food. You haven’t eaten.

You study the dog; its dark brown fur, sleek and short, its body small⎼almost medium sized, with pointed ears and a long snout. And by the way it looks at you, it has some intelligence.

Your stomach grumbles, and the creature cocks its head at you, ears forward.

Shit.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” you grimace at the dog, adjusting your hold before aiming the tip at it. “It’s nothing personal, okay? I’m hungry, and you’re the first thing I’ve seen that hasn’t tried to kill me in a while.”

Which isn’t a lie. Hunting is crazy difficult these days. But you swallow as your eyes meet, its stare unwavering like you aren’t pointing a weapon at his little body. Just one motion and you could end its life painlessly (lucky bastard), but your knuckles go white and you grip falters. Why are you hesitating now?

The dog, as if sensing your battle, barks again, this time more composed than panicked, as if trying to communicate with you. You’re grateful you can’t speak Dog. It’s probably saying something like ‘No, you’re better than this’ or ‘Please don’t do this’ or⎼

“Put him down!”

Or that.

Dear Aimee,

Guess what?

I got a dog! And he’s the coolest, his name is Boy.

He saved my life from a giant frog in a pool who tried to eat me with his tongue, and then we hung out in his bus! Man, do we make a great team. We found out that we have a ton in common too. I feel like we can talk about anything.  

You gotta see us out here; we’re like this iconic duo. I don’t know, feels like when we’re together, we’re unstoppable.

“Right, Boy? Boy?” Joel glances at his side, doing a double take. The dog’s gone. His shoulders slump, “Of course, the first friend I’ve made outside and he leaves me. Sounds about right.”

He didn’t think he could gain and lose a friend within the span of two days. This has to be some kind of record.

He jerks when he hears Boy’s faint barking, guiding him as he drags himself back to the old barn they just passed. For good reasons. The decaying barn looks like it’s in need of a new contractor and a paint job… or three. And an exterminator.

God, the surface is terrifying.

Gulping down his dread, Joel crouches to peer through the gaping hole in the wall. This must be where Boy came through. “Whatcha got there?”

The barking ceases, and so does Joel’s heart.

You stand in the dark like an apparition, back turned to him so he can’t make out your features. Your attention is fixed on the shadowed lump hanging over you, and while it’s dark and he doesn’t have a good vantage point, Joel’s mouth goes dry as he seeks out Boy.

Boy woofs again, and Joel’s heart drops. You step closer to the lump.

For a split second, he sees a flash of his mother’s face, her tears streaming down her cheeks.

He doesn’t think; no thoughts, head empty. Blood roars in his ears. His hands tremble. But he doesn’t hesitate, ripping the makeshift crossbow from his back as he scrambles under the opening.

“Put him down!”

He’s not entirely sure what he expects. He’s read enough comic books to understand the situation; the hero drops in to save damsel in distress then proceeds to demolish the bad guys. Technically, he has the upper-hand here. Right?

But realization slams into him. It knocks the air out of him, and he forgets to breathe.

He shouldn’t have barged in like an idiot. He isn’t a hero. He’s nothing like the superheroes in comics and movies and graphic novels. He doesn’t have super strength or speed or highly advanced tech and he sure as hell is not a genius. 

What he does have: a freezing problem.

He’s already lost feeling in his hands, and he almost drops the weapon as you look over your shoulder at him.

On the other hand, you have a pretty clear idea before you face your captor (seeing him now, can you even consider him that?). With the apocalypse, governments crumbled with ease along with laws and morals, so it’d make sense for people to disregard them. You’ve met quite a few… characters, and you’ve chalked it up to these main categories; garbage thieves, sleazy scavengers, and shitty thugs.

In short, humans are selfish creatures. Prepare for the worst.

You’ve thrown down, fought dirty, bartered with them all and still managed to come out on top, the scars across your body a constant reminder. Nothing surprises you at this point.

A fumbling boy though? You mask your amusement, raising an eyebrow as you take him in. The guy, tall and disheveled, blocks the only exit out of this godforsaken place, his red jacket rumpled and dusty like he’s fallen one too many times. However, what nearly sends you is, as he steps further into the light, you bite your lip, his eyes round and small lips pressed together as the crossbow quakes in his hands.

Who let this puppy out of their sight?

“Listen, buddy,” You finally speak, making Joel flinch. Your eyes narrow as his fingers jerk on the trigger. That’s not good. “If you’re gonna point that thing at me, you better know how to use it.”

He sucks in air, clearing his throat as his eyes dart between Boy and you. He cringes when his voice comes out octaves higher than he expected, “Let Boy go.”

“’Boy’?” You glance up, your weapon still raised at the squirming little fellow. “Oh, you mean Dinner?”

“You were gonna eat him?”

You shrug. “Maybe. Depends how this goes.”

“Okay,” Joel swallows, a futile attempt to keep his tone even as nausea sprouts in him. You plan to eat Boy? How can someone eat something so cute? “Let him go, and we’ll leave you alone. How ‘bout that?”

Beads of sweat drip down his temple as his breaths come out shuddered. He’s not used to this; he’s gone from being the chef of his colony to making demands, negotiating with a possible psycho.  He never trained for this! Well, he’d never been trained, period.

What if he says the wrong thing and sets you off, hurting Boy in the process? He might faint⎼no⎼he will faint. He doesn’t think his heart can handle losing more people… or animals. How is he supposed to save Boy? His fingers twitch against the trigger.

You don’t miss it.

“I don't know about that,” You reply, studying him. His hands tremble as they clutch the weapon. He may not be a scavenger or a thief, but that just makes him all the more unpredictable. Goons, you’d expect them to shoot first, ask questions later, but the fact this guy is making an effort to talk? You want to know his angle, his intentions.

Whether it’s good or bad.

“I’m hungry. It’s going to be dark soon, and Boy here,” You jerk your head at the canine, “was unlucky enough to fall into this ol’ trap.”

You watch, withholding a sneer as emotions and thoughts flit across Joel’s face like an open book. It seems a lightbulb goes off because he looks back at you, eyes wide and hopeful. “You want food? I have some in my backpack. If I give it to you, you let him go?”

He tries not to squirm, the little courage he has waning as your eyes bore into him.

“…Put the crossbow and the bag down. Slowly.”

“You too.” You tilt your head curiously as Joel stutters, “Your spear⎼I mean, if you could stop pointing it at my dog. Please.”

Your brows shoot up. Since the moment he entered⎼wait⎼floundered in here, he could not have made it more obvious that he has no idea what he’s doing. If it wasn’t the way he carried that exposed him, it was definitely his facial expressions, and if not his face, you can hear it trickle through the cracks in his voice. Yet despite how unfair the situation is for him, he’s trying to cover his terror. Failing miserably but trying. All for this cute, little doggy.

And he said please. You ignore the way it warmed you, his tone so…. genuine.

Manners, sincere or not, in the face of danger? You have to respect that.

“It’s a javelin, actually, but I agree to your terms.” Your grip slackens. He might be a wimp, but you have to give it to him. He’s got balls.

A flicker of relief crosses his face, and you both comply with your instructions. In spite of his obvious fear, you roll your eyes as he unzips his bag unnecessarily slower than you meant him to, throwing you a look.

On second thought, he’s either really brave or really stupid. It’s fifty-fifty at this point.

Joel pulls out an aluminum can. It glints in the light as he holds it up and tosses it to you. You catch it easily, inspecting it in your hands.

“Now will you let my dog go⎼Boy!” His scream tears through the barn.

You’re already composed. Uncoiling like a snake, you seize your spear and swing, all in one motion. He lunges for you, but you’re too far. He hits the ground.

Groaning in pain, he berates himself. He should have known; they had no reason to trust each other, so of course this stranger, this psycho, would betray him. He tries to brush it off, the false sense of security dissipating, the relief replaced with crushing betrayal and horror. 

This is what the surface is like? His chest clenches. He can’t breath, but this isn’t like when he freezes up on a monster. At least, not those monsters. This is worse. So much worse.

The net rips, then a pained grunt. Joel shields his eyes, burying his face in his hands as tears trail down his dirt-smudged cheeks. His heart thunders in his ears as he prepares for the inescapable sound of Boy’s pained yelps, the squelch of metal piercing flesh. He chokes down a sob.

He only knew Boy for less than two days, but within that timespan he bared his soul to the animal. He probably knew him better than his own colony. In the short time they had together, he became his best friend⎼

Okay, ew. What is licking him?

“Boy?” Joel groans, flinching away as the dog bombards him with wet kisses. “Wait, you’re not dead?”

You step into the light, javelin in hand as you snort, “Of course not. Did you think I was gonna kill him?”

Yes. Joel sits up and cradles Boy to his chest, gawking at you.

You glare at him, almost offended. “I’m not a monster.”

No. No you are not.

Decked in a faded blue jacket, you stand relaxed, spear perched over your shoulder (or a jav⎼java-something). Your eyes glint in the sunlight like steel, hard and piercing, with dark circles under them. You watch him with a slight frown. And like him, there’s smudges of dirt on your face and clothes, but you manage to make it look cool and purposeful.

You don’t look like a monster, but you kind of acted like one. Joel is conflicted.

He opens his mouth to respond, but he's not sure what to say in this situation, overwhelmed by a cocktail of emotions that he’s still coming down from. Before he conjures an appropriate response (is there even one?), you're shouldering your backpack and slipping through the gap. Joel rushes to his feet. “Hey, wait!”

You continue up the hill, not bothering to turn to him as you purse your lips. “Oh. You’re still here.”

“Yeah, I’m ‘still here’! You held my dog hostage; kind of hard to get over,” he grumbles, panting as he trudges after you with Boy at his heels. You’re faster than you look. “So⎼uh⎼where you heading?”

“Away.”

He nods almost sage-like, wringing his hands together. “Cool, cool. So mysterious,” He pauses, inhaling deeply. His voice, now deeper and a bit more relaxed, comes in a rush as he asks, “Is there any chance we could go with you?”

You freeze, and Joel almost crashes into your back. You whirl around and suddenly you’re faced to face, but you’re too astonished by his question to care that he’s in your personal bubble.

His breathes come in heaves. His eyes are big and round, brown and bright with… hope?

It occurs to you that this guy, who hasn’t even given you his name, is a loser. A hopeful, naive loser.

And it’s for that reason you come to a decision⎼you’ll entertain him. 

“Where are you going?”

“West,” Joel’s shoulders hunch, his voice self-assured as he adds, “to the coast.”

Yeah... fuck that. 

You turn to walk away. “No.”

“Wait!”

You glower at him, stopping him in his tracks. “Dude, we got what we wanted. I got food, you got your dog. End of transaction.”

Joel stares at you for a moment, like he’s debating how far he can test you. He seems to think better of it as his shoulders sag and he caves, “Fine, I’ll head west without you. I can do it.” The last part he says more to himself before turning on his heel, starting in the direction opposite of you.

You nod. This is good, for the both of you. And safer, you tell yourself as you turn to begin your trek again. You’re two strangers in the apocalypse; you don’t know who he is, where he’s been, and, from your experience, it’s best to travel alone. It’s inconspicuous, efficient and⎼

Where the hell is he going?

You halt, squinting as you watch him hike away from the west coast. “Hey!”

He looks at you over his shoulder, his face surprised but expectant. Hopeful. He reminds you of a puppy being called over by their owner.

He thinks you’re caving into him.

Well, jokes on you, loser. You raise an eyebrow, “You know that’s not West, right?”

“Oh,” Joel’s eyes widen, clearing his throat. Boy woofs and he shoots him a withered look, altering his trajectory. “I knew that.”

“That’s not West either.”

He switches directions again.

You shake your head. “No.“

And again.

“Nope.”

Joel’s face reddens, unable to meet your eyes as he stops trying so he doesn’t further humiliate himself.

You make your way over to him, rolling your eyes. He seems to make you do that a lot. “Okay, how much food you got on you?”

“Enough to last me a week? Why⎼”

That’s all you needed to hear.

“Then it’s settled,” You decide, clapping him on the shoulder. He winces. “You share your rations with me, and I’ll help you get to the West coast.”

He blinks, clearly taken aback as you begin your trek once again, gesturing him to follow you. You feel his eyes on your back. “Really?”

“Really. You are a food source. Also I’m pretty sure you’d die before getting halfway.” You add, unabashed.

He frowns, unsure whether to be grateful or not. He decides on the latter. “Oh…thanks anyway?”

“You're really not from around here, are you?” You pause, looking back at him.

He scratches the back of his neck. “No. Is it that obvious?”

“Painfully. So free advice,” You, with a hand on your hip and tone clipped, gesture up and down at his⎼well⎼everything. “Try not to let anyone know you’re a newb. Might keep you alive.” With that, you start heading West, not bothering to see if he’s comprehended the note you bestowed on him.

Joel glances down at himself before trailing after you. “Good to know.”

AN: I want to make it clear: I would never eat a dog, you would never eat a dog, no one would ever eat. A. Dog. That was a joke for this part 1. I even wrote emphasis on your character’s hesitation. It’s just that this is the apocalypse, so it’s safe to assume that survivors are driven into corners, desperate and have to make some hard choices.

The end dialogue is reference to @teenwolffanclub-me ​TW rewrite bc i love it and them so if you like Dylan O’ Brien and Stiles pls read their shit. <333

This part is a slow starter, but I don’t want to rush this, your intro and your development. But, now that you’ve finally met, hopefully the rest won’t seem any slower than the beginning.

I’ve never wrote for a lone survivor kind of character before. I hope you enjoyed the intro nonetheless!

I think I’ll forgo the 7 parts idea, but that’s a goal.

Part 2 in progress.

Also, how to get a beta reader??

[eirian-houpe]

The Monday Menu

As they so often say on TV, “Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.”

Here we are in May already and the last time I did one of these was January. I’m going to try and push back against all the stuff keeping me from what I love... writing, engaging with my mutuals, with readers when they comment or send me DMs or asks or… just plain contact me in any way.  Fandom IS a community after all!

Speaking of communities - there have been some... upsetting observations, and things happening in the last week. I’ve sitting on my feelings on what happened, and what I subsequently discovered for DAYS now, but... I’m still feeling salty, so watch out for an ugly (sorry/not sorry) post later today on that subject.

For those of you that are new to the fandom, or have been hibernating (and who could blame anyone for that given the state of the world) the past couple of years, the Rumbelle Showdown is in full swing. There is still time to read the fics and get your vote in before the deadline (tomorrow at midnight I do believe). There are some awesome fics in this years Showdown, don’t miss out!

Hopefully I will be able to find time to get some writing done this week, and here’s the plan for what this week might look like:

Monday - The Monday Menu - what it says on the box. A plan for the week, also, this week, a Monday Mmmm. There won’t always be one of these, just when something troubling or interesting crosses my path.

Tuesday - TMI Tuesday. - Ask me… go on, anything.  Ask my characters -they’ll answer. Nothing is off limits, but be sure you want the answer before you ask the question.

Wednesday - WIP Wednesday - Current state of my works in progress. So many - and still climbing!

Thursday - Three Things Thursday - any fic of mine is fair game. Doesn’t have to be Rumbelle, I have Rushbelle, a bunch of crossovers, some shows people might no know, some ST: DSC, some SGA and some Tolkien too… ask three things, I dare ya…! Please… This is also the day I’ll do the ‘Behind the Scenes’ post, which might just end up as part of the TTT post.

Friday - Final Line Friday. - Assuming I manage to write anything, I will post a word cloud, and the last line that I have written right before I post this. Also I hope to be able to start a Fic Rec Friday too, which won’t always be Rumbelle, but could be any fandom out there.

Saturday - Saturday Secret - another one of those where you can ask about any fic, and I’ll tell (or show) you a secret. Feel free to follow up with conversation or guesses.  I will tell you if you get something right. Again, no one took me up on the offer… so we might also have to think of another ‘SA’ post.

Sunday - Seven Sentence Sunday. - yeah, I have to write something to be able to post this.

Writing this week - Modern Wonders (At least I’d like to try and get some writing done on this fic.  It has been calling to me after all).  Also perhaps dabbling in some Not Yours to Keep and/or some Laer o Faen, (assuming I get over my tizzy).

As always my inbox is open for thoughts, questions, asks… I don’t restrict people to any particular day of the week, and I - like most fic authors - love to discuss things to do with fics and fandom.

I just want to add a shout out to those readers who have left me comments and kudos these last several days.  It has not gone un-noticed.  love you guys for those votes of confidence..

Talk to me, peeps! My inbox is lonely,

[goddessjynx]

Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

[britishassistant]

The multiple Yuus' suffering won't end yet.

I feel like Villain! Yuu and Villainous Paranoiac! Yuu are similar personality-wise but do you mind switching them too?

I can imagine them sleeping with one eye open in their new world, cuz they don't trust anyone.

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

You cover your nose and mouth to muffle your breathing as best you can.

Costumed adults run past your hiding place, crouched behind a series of pipes. They’re boiling hot, feeling like they could burn through your thin pajama sleeves even though you’re trying to keep your distance from them while staying concealed.

“Princess? Oh, little Princess? Come out, come out, wherever you are~” The voice of the older woman who tried to kill you when you woke up croons. You can see her shadow on the wall next to you.

Your lip curls involuntarily at the nickname, and you hunch down further into yourself.

“Are you sure we wanna do this?” The other man asks. “If the Night Raven finds out about this...”

“He won’t.” The woman snaps. “Not if we do this properly. That pampered little brat needs to die. If it’s another one of those annoying alternate versions, killing this one means there’ll be no way for our version to switch back here. If it’s a de-aged version, then even better. Either way, we’ll finally be free of that weak, pathetic pushover of an employer. Now go check over there!”

“R-right!”

You watch as their shadows move across the wall, until they vanish as their owners exit through the doors on the other side of the room.

You bite the skin on the side of your thumb. You thought this place was where that...reporter version of you came from, and that you were in the lair of one of the seven supervillains you met before, but everything you’ve seen and heard so far runs counter to that hypothesis. None of them were using the whole clockwork and steam motif that this place is decorated with, and the way those...minions? were talking, it sounds like a version of you is the one running this place.

And not very well, judging by the employee dissatisfaction.

You want to just curl up and stay hidden behind these pipes forever, but the longer you stay here, the more likely it is you’ll be cornered with no chance to run. Plus the heat’s making your head spin, and you know with your luck you’ll end up burning yourself. Better to get out now while the getting’s good.

You slip out, and go through the door that the two minions came from, peeking around to make sure the coast is clear before darting for the next bit of cover. You wish not for the first time you had shoes to muffle the sound of your bare feet against the rough floor.

You need to find an exit, get out of here as fast as you can. But if you can’t find a way to distract the minions, how long will it be until they just follow you to wherever you try to take sanctuary, just like the Scarabia students did back over winter break?

You’re in an even worse spot that you were then. At least then, you had Grim with you.

Here? You’re all alone. Defenseless.

Your right ankle twinges again, making you stumble and clip a bunch of nearby boxes. You frantically need to spread your arms to catch the boxes so the crash of them falling over doesn’t alert any of the security.

And injured. Can’t forget your overblot injuries.

You’re already panting after running for only a few minutes, your lungs burning in your chest. Nurse Kamac told you you’d find physical exertion much harder now, but it’s one thing to hear it and another thing entirely to feel how much effort it takes to do things you used to be able to do with ease, how much your body protests against the one advantage you used to have, how much more useless you are now.

You slump at a corner, sweat beading on your brow. Your vision is swimming, and your knees feel unsteady under you.

Something liquid and hot is sliding down your collarbone. You think your throat is bleeding again.

“Kreek?”

You yelp, tripping over your own feet at the sound, hitting the ground with a hard thud. You whip your head around to find the source of the noise.

There is a huge crow perched on a pipe above you.

It’s massive. Are birds allowed to get that big?

It tilts its head at you, before taking off from its perch and fluttering down to land next to you, hopping a few steps closer.

“H-hey, nice birdie...” You rasp. Then, recalling something the minions said earlier, you venture, “...Are you the Night Raven?”

There’s a moment of silence.

Then the crow erupts into a raucous, croaking squawks that sound suspiciously like laughter.

You purse your lips, running a hand through your sweaty bangs. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. It’s not like I’ve been sent to a whole other world again or anything, and whoever this ‘Night Raven’ is seems to be the only thing between me and those guys who think killing me will ensure some supervillain also ends up dead. Because of course they do, that’s just how my life is, it’s not like I don’t already know my birth was enough of a mistake. Ugh.”

You drop you head onto your knees and squeeze your eyes shut tight. You’re tired. You’re sore.

You just wanna wake up back in your bed at Ramshackle with Grim cuddled up next to you, muttering about tuna, and have all of this be some horrible nightmare.

You flail at the feeling of a series of sharp pinches on your good shoulder and a heavy, warm weight unbalancing you. “Hey, what the—!”

The crow croaks at you from its new perch on your shoulder, looking both mildly annoyed and unphased by your floundering. You jerk as it’s wickedly sharp beak darts forward and—!

Closes around a section of your mussed up bangs?

The bird pulls your hair back into place as best it can, tugging hard on your scalp as it repeats the process until it’s satisfied you’ve been groomed enough.

It is one of the weirdest experiences you’ve ever undergone. And you’ve played in a Heartslaybul crocket match.

The crow pushes off your shoulder, smacking you in the face with one of it’s wings in the process. It lands on another set of pipes some distance away and turns back to look at you. It caws in a distinctly impatient tone when you don’t immediately follow it.

You weigh your options. On the one hand, it could be leading you into a trap, and you’ll end up dead, though that doesn’t explain why it would try to groom you. You also don’t know your way around this place, and ignoring the bird could lead to it making even more noise as it attempts to get your attention again, which would alert your pursuers and get you killed even faster.

“So I’m following birds now. It’s official. I’ve finally lost it.” You mutter to yourself, pushing yourself shakily to your feet, and counting yourself lucky your vision only goes fuzzy once when you’re upright.

The crow guides you through the...lair is the only word suitable for it. It has a knack for landing on areas that will allow you to take some cover should some of the minions looking for you pass by, hissing whenever it wants you to stay put, and giving that same impatient caw once it’s time to move on again.

It’d be nice if that system could be foolproof.

Unfortunately, as you’re running past a doorway that you thought was clear, you hear a cry of, “HERE! THEY'RE HERE!! THE IMPOSTER IS OVER HERE!!”

You curse, and make yourself run faster, trying to ignore how it pulls the ridged scars along your left thigh and hip and your sudden shortness of breath. You can’t afford to acknowledge that right now, especially when you yelp as actual gunfire erupts behind you and real, genuine bullets whiz past your head to embed themselves in the stacked boxes near you.

The crow has the same idea, taking off to fly just ahead of you, soaring into the faces of any minions who try to cut off the path it’s leading you down with sharp talons and beak at the ready.

You follow it to a huge room, slamming the large double doors shut behind you.

You shove back against them as the doors jump when your pursuers collide with it. Your breath is coming in harsh pants as you fumble with the bolt and padlock, barely clicking it shut before the entrance is forced open.

You stumble away, blindly colliding with a desk and hitting the floor as you desperately and feebly try to suck in air that your lungs can’t seem to inhale, your breaths getting shallower and and more panicked as your vision fuzzes out again. You can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe—

A loud cry erupts above you, and you faintly see dark shapes descend down on you, feeling dozens of sharp pinches on your upper body, the force of what feels like dozens of dozens of wings dragging your upper body up and back until you’re leaning upright against something and there’s a monumental. warm, fluffy weight against your chest, alternating between getting heavier and lighter, forcing it to expand and contract in intervals of four seconds under it.

It takes a while, but eventually, your hyperventilating finally, finally stops, as you carefully and slowly suck in grateful lungfuls of oxygen and your eyesight gradually returns.

Then you have to blink hard.

You are covered in what you think Epel would describe as a metric fuckton of birds.

They’re all staring at you, some of them picking at your pajamas, others making a caw-like noise that can only be best described as a worried peep.

You lift a hesitant hand to try and maybe shoo some of them off, only for your heart to melt as one of them honest-to-Seven nudges into your palm, like it wants you to pet it or something.

You wonder if the supervillain version of you trained them to do this. If so, at least they did one thing right, because Great Seven this is adorable.

The monsterous crow who led you here lands next to you, squawking and flapping its wings indignantly. The black birds gradually hop off you at this display, much to your subtle disappointment.

“Alright, alright, I’m up.” You grumble, shakily pulling yourself to your feet. “Now what Crow?”

The leader of the birds lands on top of the desk you hit earlier, tapping on some sheets of paper with its beak. You pull them towards you, trying to puzzle out what you’re seeing. It looks like some kind of...schematic? For a water-powered machine that seems to be the power source of a death ray or something. What’s most interesting though is the part of the plans with a section labelled ‘self destruct’ near the top of the construction.

“Okay, so this going boom would make for a good distraction so I could escape.” You chew at your nail. “But now I’ve got to find where it is so I can do that...”

The crow pecks at your other hand. When you pull it away, it shoots you an unimpressed glare and turns around.

You lift your head and follow where it’s looking.

There, along the back wall of this huge room, sits an absolute behemoth of metal and glass surrounded by scaffolding, a huge clear water tank like the one in the plans already filled to the brim and gurgling with movement.

Oh.

You purse your lips at the Crow, which is still shooting you an unimpressed glare. “In my defense, I was kind of having too much trouble trying to keep those guys out, and then breathing to really notice...that.”

It laughs at you again.

There’s a percussive boom from the doors, all the birds taking off and circling with warning squawks.

You push off of the desk as you dash towards the machine, trying to ignore how you want to flinch as several more booms follow the first one. You grab the scaffolding and frantically pull yourself up, trying to climb as fast as you can. If you can just reach the top before they break through—!

There’s an ear-splitting explosion as the doors fly open.

“THERE! THERE THEY ARE!! STOP THEM!!”

You shriek as the gunfire starts again, the need to climb, to get away warring with the instinct to try curling up as small as you can so you’re less of a target.

Your footing slips when you jump to grab the last ledge, leaving you to desperately grab onto the scaffolding with your bad arm. You whimper at how the rounded scars on your shoulder scream in protest at taking almost all your weight, the blackened bite mark on your elbow throbbing with pain like a second heartbeat.

You feel a flare of agony in your right thigh that makes you almost lose your grip. You whine through your teeth as you grab onto the metal and heave yourself up and over, rolling away from the ledge and curling up so your attackers can’t hit you.

“Cease fire! Cease fire you idiots! You’ll break the tank!!”

It takes you a second to realize that you’re curled around the circular podium where the schematics said the self-destruct button was mounted.

“Come down, Princess!” The older woman’s voice floats up to you. “You don’t know what you’re doing up there, do you? There’s nowhere left for you to run. Just be a good little nepotist and come face your fate with some dignity. I swear to you it’ll be quick.”

You grit your teeth as you haul yourself up. “Fat chance.”

You can see her at the head of the pack now, scoffing as her face twists with hate. “Typical. Bloody typical isn’t it? Even the other version of you was an ungrateful little shit, but at least it knew when to keep its head down and listen to its betters. It’s galling to be demoted to working under an imposter, a fake human like that thing!! Spending all its time with birds and playing around with those stupid civilians, hah! You’re no better than an animal! Just a dumb little pet that the Night Raven thought would be funny to give a title and call his ‘heir’!! A disgrace to the pursuit of villainy and evil!!”

“Are you sure about that?”

You take far too much delight in the way she pales as she sees your hand hovering over the self-destruct button.

“H-hold on princess,” She babbles, reaching a futile hand up. “W-we can talk about this, just don’t—”

“Shut. Up.” You growl. “If you wanted a heroic little fairytale princess to terrorize, you picked the worst person you could.”

“‘Cause me? I’m the damn wicked witch.”

You slam you fist down on the button.

There’s a wailing of alarms as the structure below you shakes. Tons upon tons of water bursts out of the machine.

The woman can’t even scream as the flood swallows her.

The crows caw wildly above your head, and you tear your eyes away to see the largest one leading the flock in flapping around a ladder leading to a hatch in the roof. You stagger over to it, your hands almost slipping off the metal rungs several times.

You push hard on the metal hatch and breath in the cold, dry air of the outside, the rough stony roof feeling like it’s cutting into your feet. You can still hear the alarms blaring as you close the hatch again after the last of the birds have flown out.

You’re tired. So tired. Your eyesight is going blurry again and the right leg of your pajamas feels uncomfortably wet, giving off little pulses of agony that has you whimpering.

“Hey, Crow?” Your voice sounds very far away. “I think I’mma pass out now.”

The world tilts sideways before everything goes black.

[kayxleeee]

Steve Rogers: The Man Out Of Time (Steve Rogers x Reader!)

Warning: NONE! FLUFFFFFFF Just Sad Steve and a moment of a nosey Romanoff .

A/N: Love this one to death! Still contemplating on if I should make  a second part.

Summary: After the teams attempt to try and stop Ultron and failing horribly, you all find yourselves at the Barton’s Family farm. Steve is shooken up about his vision, and is  reflecting on the life that he will never have. This was a side of Cap you never  really seen before, he had never been this venerable with anyone. He was the one who held the team together and called everyone out on their bullshit. You find yourself consoling him, possibly blossoming a friendship into something more. 

Word Count: 1k+

“Hey you.” You say standing in the doorway of the Barton’s spare bedroom. 

“Hi.” Steve says lowly not looking up at you. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, visibly upset looking down at his already folded hands. 

“What happened out there ?” You say referring to the squabble he and Tony had while breaking down wood for Laura. Steve got pretty pissed very quickly, which was kinda unusual for him, since he has always been the level headed one.

“It was nothing, I’m fine.” He sighs not breaking his focused gaze from his hands.

“Oh yeah, I can totally tell you are Steve. Just a typical ray of sunshine.” You say sarcastically hoping to lighten his mood. 

The situation with Ultron was spiraling out of control, and that witch bitch only made matters  one-hundred percent worse. From the visions, to the ambush, to the media buzz, you weren’t sure if the avengers would even recover. It was obvious that this new mission to stop Ultron was too much for even the strongest of the bunch, which was understandable, but still alarming.

“Come on.” You sigh leaning against the doorframe crossing your arms trying to examine his face. “You can talk to me, you don’t always have to be the most levelheaded one in the room. And plus I won’t leave you alone unless you tell me what’s up.”

“Now that I can believe.” He huffs out a small chuckle looking up at you, then takes a deep breath. “It’s all just a bit overwhelming.” He admits.

“Yeah I know this all may seem like a lot, but Tony meant well by building Ultron. He—“

“That’s—that’s something we can fix.” He says shaking his head. “I wasn’t, I mean I’m not that worried about Ultron because I have faith we will win that fight.” He says this then looks back down at his hands in his lap. “We just gotta figure out how.”

You sigh as you look at him confused hoping that he’d continue and share his thoughts. You were relived that he was ready to fight Ultron, together, and glad he had faith that the team would win; But if it wasn't Tony creating Ultron that bothered him it was something so much bigger. 

It was the vision. 

This made you gravely concerned about what he saw, what could be making him react this way, so solemn and hot headed. You walk all the way into the small farm house bedroom and sit next to him on the full sized bed, putting a hand over his own.

“Steve, talk to me.” You encourage him in a soft voice, giving his hand a squeeze. 

This was all very knew territory, so you were shocked when he looked up at you through glossy eyes, before opening his mouth to speak again.

“I just can’t get it out of my head. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“About what Steve? The vision? Because that’s what they want, the twins, Ultron, they want us all to be off our game Steve. None of what you saw was real.” You say reassuring him by caressing your thumb over his hands.

“That’s the problem, it wasn’t real...but it- I’m the man out of time.”

“The man out of time?” You question repeating after him. You frown at the dumb catch phrase everyone seemed to use to describe Steve as. “What did you see?”

“I was with… with, her.” He sighs getting up from his position on the bed and walking over to the window. “It’s this, this whole secret life Bartons been living.” He pushed the cream colored curtains aside slightly gazing out the window. “I just wish that things could be different, that maybe I could… be happy like them.”

It dawned on you finally why he was upset. Steve never got the opportunity to live his life, in his time. He was so busy trying to prove himself or be the person everyone else wanted him to be. When he finally got a chance to show what he was made of— well he obviously got he short end of the stick. And now, well he’s so busy saving the world he’s barley even gotten a chance to live it now. He has told you about Peggy once or twice  and how he fell in one with her, but you never thought he’d be so upset now.

“Steve…” You say not necessarily knowing what to say. You get up from the bed and walk over to him putting a hand on his shoulder. You turn your gaze outside the window to see Laura and Clint cuddle up on their yard, watching their children play. 

He lets out a sigh. “That witch, the girl, the vision she gave me. It just felt so real,” He takes a deep breathe and turns to you. “I’ll never have that and the vision, it just made me think of just how much I missed… how much I’m missing.” 

You sigh and decide to pull him into a hug immediately. You couldn't even try to pretend to know what he was going through. He doesn’t hug back right away, but in time he does. He rest his chin on the top of your head  and holds you tight taking a deep breath inhaling shakily as you rub circles around his back. The two of you stay like this for a moment, while you gathered the correct words that you wanted to say, without making him feel worse. You hoped he didn’t mind your silence  and  hoped that maybe he needed this quiet and this closeness, just to feel someone was there with him.

After a few more moments you finally speak still holding on to him.

 “Steve, you’re not a man out of time, I really hate that saying. It literally makes no sense to me because - not the point. What I am trying to say is you have multiple people here in this time who care about you and want to see the best for you,  myself included.” You finally say as you pull away from him slightly so that you were able to get a good look at his face.” I think I’m the one rooting for you the most.”

It was true, you heavily looked up to Steve, and not just because he was taller or because he was the leader... But because he was truly a good man and always had good intentions.  You would follow him into the trenches if he told you to, that's how much you trusted him and this is why it hurt you to see him so distraught. 

 You continue to speak. “I love you Steve, I really do, but your problem is you put the needs of others before your own.” You look at him as he looks at you, his blue eyes peering into your own as the wheels in his head begin to turn. You continue, “Honestly tell me, have you ever asked yourself what you wanted and just let yourself have it?” 

He’s now looking  at you in shock or confusion, either way his eyes were peering hard into yours as he thinks for a moment. 

He frowns and shake his head no, then says, “I guess not… I’ve been so wrapped up in saving the world, I never really got a chance.” He says this with his hands still comfortably wrapped around you.

“Well I think you oughta think about that one mister.” You say giving him a smile and a quick peck on the cheek, about to pull him back in for another hug—

“Oh there you two are.” Natasha says as she peeps her head into the  door way. You both turn to her still very close to one another. Her face goes from flat, too surprised, then back to normal. The two of you let go of each and move apart. You were calm, while Steve looked embarrassed.

“Don't stop on my account love birds.” She says with a smirk.

“ Everything alright Natasha?” Steve says clearing his throat trying to ignore her comment.

The smirk never leaves her face and she shakes her head “Fury is here, meeting in 5.” She says popping her head out just as fast as she popped in.

“Love birds? Jeez you’d think men and women can’t be just friends.” You scoff shaking your head looking at Steve who was turning red.

“Well… that’s Natasha for you.” He says kinda sounding awkward.

You continue, “She’s one to talk, have you seen the eyes her and Banner have been givin each other ? It’s gross.” You laugh.

“Yeah, we better get out there then…” He drifts seeming as if he wants to drop the conversation entirely.

“We should.” You say now feeling uneasy at Steve’s awkwardness, but decide to backtrack quickly before heading out of the room by saying, “ Hey listen, I still want you to think about what you want Steve. Really think about it and then just go for it!” You say emphasizing the word you.

“Thanks for this (Y/n), I think I have somewhat of a idea of what that is now.” He stares at you for a moment more, then looks away. Which surprisingly gave you butterflies because he had never looked at you that way before, it was different.

“Well- that, that  was easy enough.” You fumble on your words before taking a deep breath and gaining your composure. “ Will you share with the class anytime soon?” You say trying to ignore the feeling as your face heats up.

“Maybe later.” He says with a sincere smile. “Sometimes it’s just nice to know I have people here for me.” He shoves his hands in his pocket and nods his head towards the doo. “Let’s go.”

“Of course Steve.” You nod feeling relived, that he was feeling better. You walk towards the door with him close behind. “Maybe we can set you up with a secret farm too.” You chuckle a bit.

“Oh shut up.” He says throwing his head back with a chuckle realizing you were what he needed.

“Do you like goats and stuff?” You laugh.

“(Y/n)!” He chuckles again as you both walk down the hallway into the living room where the meeting was being held.

-

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