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coreastories · 4 years

Text

The Heartbeat

AO3: Part 14 of Days and Nights of Forever

One dark day for Corea, one terrifying day for Gon and Tae-eul, but life goes on.

When it's fate, there are no coincidences.

Directly follows

Corea News: The queen of Corea stuns in London and

Corea News: A dark day for Corea

I’m so sorry. When I dropped A Dark Day for Corea last Friday, I meant to get this done the next day and not prolong the suspense. But I underestimated it. Sunday came and went and I wasn’t done.

I spent all weekend finishing this so I couldn’t reply to you guys either. I mean, what could I say to you all wailing at me except that I’m writing, which I should DO, not say, right?

So here it is. 11,000 words. Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy.

With thanks to @collectsfallenstars and @pateetsie for support and threats and encouragements and threats and confidence and threats and all the love and swearing at me.

November was more beautiful in Corea. Perhaps it was unfair to make the comparison because Corea just happened to be closer to the tropics, closer to the sun, farther from the frozen winds of the north, but she couldn’t help it, even if she did have one sunny day in London and that was considered lucky, Elizabeth had told her, especially in November!

No, lucky was living in this beautiful country, coming home to her husband, and with the view of all these red and gold trees outside the car window.

And she had breakfast ready when she got home. She grinned. She thought about calling Gon again but he was probably busy cooking, and she didn't want him to time her arrival. She'd already ruined her own surprise by giving in and calling him earlier.

“Jangmi, did you tell your omma we’re home?”

“Ye, Mama. And she says she’s got cheonggukjang ready for us.”

Both Tae-Eul and In-Yeong said, “Oh my God.” They laughed. Jangmi’s mother’s cheonggukjang was a hit among the guards-- and the king and queen.

And after days of British food, chonggukjang would be heavenly.

“Don’t tell Ho-pil until we’ve all had some,” said In-yeong. “I don’t know how he makes it disappear so fast. Maybe he has a black hole in his stomach and he just pours it in.”

They were still laughing when Tae-Eul saw it. The other car.

It was barrelling through the left of the intersection too fast. Too fast to make the turn it should make.

And then, in contrast to that speeding car, everything else went slow.

In this slower time, Tae-Eul recognized several things.

One: Jangmi was a good defensive driver and had already slowed and stopped the car.

Two: The other car could have crossed the road, perhaps grazing their front bumper, but it could have gone past all the same.

Three: The driver of the other car was too senseless to see the opportunity Jangmi provided to avoid collision. In the grip of panic and trying to control his car, Tae-eul saw him wrenching at the steering wheel with both arms in a mindless attempt to make his turn. Even though it was too late. Even though there was no room.

Four: At that speed, at that trajectory, the other car would nosedive into the side of their car.

Tae-Eul laid both arms across her lower belly and prayed to God and the fate that brought her here. Was lashing out praying? Because she lashed out in shock and anger that this would happen to her, to Gon, their child.

Maybe God heard her, or maybe it was her mind playing tricks to help her cope-- the crash was deafening but it was like a gentle rocking when it came.

It was what happened after that was terrifying.

Tae-Eul felt her seatbelt simultaneously loosen and tighten around her. For half a second, she was buffeted bodily against nothing but air before she felt secure again. There was a terrible noise like thunder right inside her ears and something slammed onto her face, stunning as a well-placed uppercut.

She was blinded and her eyes burned.

She tried to see what had happened to Jangmi and In-Yeong but she cried out at the pain and shut her eyes tight and kept both arms over her pelvis. A firebrand shot through her left shoulder and she cried out again but she kept her arms where they were.

That was when she prayed. With her eyes watering and burning and her ears ringing, she begged to be safe.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“How are you? It’s not too cold?”

“No. Or maybe I’m just hot. Go back to sleep. I’m going to bed, too.”

“Have you had anything to eat?”

“I had ban-ban on the plane. Go to sleep. I’ll call you when I wake up. Saranghae.”

“Saranghae.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“I loved the music and the story but I was honestly so sleepy. It lasted more than two hours. In-yeong had to poke me several times. I lost count after the sixth one. Stop laughing. I bet you fall asleep watching it before it even gets good.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll call you again on your morning.”

“What are you making for your breakfast?”

“Nothing special. Just eggs and tofu and I have kaktugi.”

“Mmmm. I miss that.”

“I miss you. Go to sleep.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Don’t worry so much. Just think of her as any old ahjumma.”

“Are you crazy? She’s the queen.”

“No, she’s not. Not to me. Not to the kingdom missing you. You’re the queen here. She’s a queen. You’re a queen. You’re equals.”

“I’m wrinkling my nose at that but I miss you. You should have come with me.”

“You said--”

“What do you want me to bring you?”

“Nothing. Just come home.”

"How cheesy."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“How was the food?”

“Quite good. I’ve had Angus roast, fish and chips, a full English breakfast-- the sausages here are good, maybe I can bring some-- scones and clotted cream-- I need you or the cooks to learn to make that-- cottage pie, shepherd’s pie, crumpets, and this thing they call Welsh rarebit? It’s cheese and toast. And I loved the vegetables in my salads.

“And the milk and cream here--I think it tastes a little bit like Corea’s. It’s so creamy and delicately sweet.

“I love their chocolate. Cadbury’s. I think we have it at home, right? Should I order more?

“I forgot to tell you-- I almost drank alcohol at brunch when they sent more dishes and apple cider to our table with the chef’s compliments. In-Yeong thought it was juice too. They forgot I was pregnant. I was taking a sip and it didn’t smell and taste like alcohol but Elizabeth took my glass and told me it can be quite strong here.

“I can’t wait to eat ramyeon, though. And ban-ban. I’ll have them when I’m on the plane. What are you laughing at?”

“You talked for five minutes about food.”

“That wasn’t five minutes!”

“I love you. I miss you so much. I’ll see you in… sixteen hours.”

“I can’t wait.”

“To see me? Or for ban-ban and ramyeon?”

“Take a guess.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m here.”

“What?”

“I flew earlier. I wanted to surprise you. I’ll just drive over. Jangmi was on the phone with Yeong long before we landed so I’m sure they’ve arranged things for the escort.”

“But I was going to pick you up-- all right. I’ll see you here, then. Do you want breakfast?”

“Oh do I! I want everything. I want moo saengchae and galbi and my mouth is watering and I can’t talk anymore. Stop laughing.”

“I’ll make everything. Saranghae.”

“Nado saranghae.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gon clung to her voice in his head while everything else seemed to ring and clamor in an infuriating barrage of noise.

He had been talking to her less than an hour ago.

Less than an hour ago, his only thought had been kissing his wife, making breakfast, and holding his wife, his queen, the mother of his child, the best part of his life.

Now he couldn’t get enough air. His mouth was dry and he felt like he’d be violently ill. His hands were fists on his knees and he resisted the urge to thump something.

He prayed. He listened to her voice from their last conversations together and he prayed. He sat there in the back of his car and prayed as they sped to the hospital. He begged that they weren't his last conversations with her. Begged for her safety. Her safety was his child’s. Both of them had to be safe. He begged to hear that voice again soon. Now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeong sat in the front seat and tried not to let his brain spirale. He needed facts, not speculations and imaginings. In his ear, he could hear his team as they kept him up to date on every minute detail. Everyone was his eyes and ears. Yeong listened and tried to stay in the present, not any horrendous future. He was trained to look ten steps ahead. But it was difficult in this case. His brain refused to catalogue the unthinkable.

The king was quiet in the back seat, still as pale as when Yeong first told him what had happened.

The queen was supposed to arrive at ten this morning. Yeong already had plans in place for the escort going to the airport and back, because the king wanted to pick up the queen.

Nine am and the PA office would have given word to the media whether or not the press could gather at the airport. Yeong had already coordinated with the airport authority for traffic and crowd control as a contingency.

He would have received a brief from the PA office and given a brief to the teams at eight-thirty.

Before seven o’clock, his phone rang. Jangmi told him the queen’s jet was already approaching Corean airspace and the early arrival was supposed to be a surprise for the king. It was testament to how much Yeong had changed-- or how much he had gotten used to the king and queen anyway-- that he didn’t even sigh. He just ended the call, made another, and deployed Ho-pil’s team to the airport in their SUVs.

At eight o’clock, Ho-Pil called him.

“Seonsaengnim. Code Orange. Collision with civilian vehicle. The queen seems to not have major external trauma. No... bleeding. En route to CorGen now. Civilian in custody. Also en route to CorGen under escort. Jang and Park also injured. En route to CorGen.”

A pause. Yeong couldn’t speak and Ho-pil seemed to be catching his breath. And Yeong stupidly waited for the punchline. That he was being pranked. Dumb and dangerous prank, but a prank all the same. But all Ho-pil said next was, “Captain, that fucker was fucking soused. I could smell him when they loaded him on the ambulance. I wish I could kill him.”

Yeong closed his eyes and tried not to close both fists. Wouldn’t do to break his phone right now. “You said she’s not bleeding?” They both knew the significance of what he meant.

“No. But after examining her for a bit, they sedated her. They said it was because she couldn’t breathe properly and her heart was already working too hard, which would be bad for both of them. She has a bad friction burn on her left cheek from the airbag. The other windows all held except Jangmi's so the queen didn’t have lacerations. In-Yeong broke her wrist. And Jangmi took a real beating. When they were getting him out, they were so careful, but he still cried out. Never heard him make that noise before. And they both couldn’t hear me, Captain.”

Yeong took a deep breath. Ho-pil’s report gave him information and time enough to get back his wits and his sense of duty. It was his queen, not his friend. Not his best friend’s wife. And he had to go tell his king, not his best friend.

“CorGen knows to keep quiet when it’s the royal family. And they know protocol. Don’t let her out of your sight.”

“Yes, Seonsaengnim. And the EMTs already called Seonsaeng Chae. I’ll call you with updates if you don’t join us first.”

Yeong hung up. He must have drooped during the call because he realized he had to square his shoulders as he went to find the king. He was almost relieved when the king wasn’t in his suite. To make things simple, he asked the control tower where the king had gone. With the queen away, he could be anywhere.

The control tower answered quickly: The kitchen.

Right. Of course. The queen had probably already called him.

When he entered the kitchen, the king was laying a slab of meat on the grill pan.

“Yeong-ah. We don’t need to leave. She’s already on her wa--”

One look at Yeong’s face and the king stopped talking. In quick, efficient movements, the king turned everything off, wiped his hands on a towel, and rounded the counter. “What happened?” His voice was clipped and dangerous.

Yeong told him. He saw the color drain from the king’s face with every word.

And then there wasn’t really anything else to say other than, “The car’s ready.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

CorGen was used to VIPs. This hospital was where high society wanted to be treated. They had six VIP rooms and these went to ministers and their families, athletes, actors, chaebol owners, heirs and executives.

Royalty was a different level altogether. With the queen pregnant and seeing a CorGen doctor, they’ve opened the seventh VIP room. It was reserved for the royal family, always had been since the hospital opened, but the king had never used it yet in his lifetime.

While the hospital preened at the prestige of opening VIP 7 at last, no one had imagined VIP 7 would ever be needed yet.

Because the queen was only at fifteen weeks.

So when the full force of the Royal Guard arrived at the ER, there was a momentary stupefaction as if everyone was waiting for someone to tell them what to do, or to tell them it was just a tasteless, dangerous joke: it couldn’t really be the queen in that gurney.

Song-eun, arriving at the ER to attend to the queen, saw that freeze. She had frozen herself. She didn’t realize she’d stopped breathing until she exhaled when she saw the queen wasn’t bleeding. She had expected the worst.

And then everyone moved in sync.

They wheeled the queen straight to the prepared trauma room and surrounded her while the EMT and residents rattled off vitals and conditions. Airway and breathing good. Hypotensive because of vasodilation, CO at 45% higher than normal, right, they would fix that. The queen was already on oxygen and fluids. Pulse ox was stabilizing.

“Mama, I’m here. You’re with me,” Song-eun said to Tae-eul, this queen who had made Song-eun a friend, a sister. “I’m going to take care of you and the little bean.”

Sok-jun joined her with two other attendings--neuro and trauma--and they all rattled off directions to their residents and interns. One of them took samples for the trauma panel and the KB test while Song-eun assessed the queen.

“Mama, I’m going to perform a pelvic exam to check on you, okay?”

Under the sheet, her hands moving efficiently, no blood, everything normal. Good.

The queen was already in a neck brace, and she didn’t seem to have spinal injuries as the EMTs have said. The fetal HR monitor beeped steadily. Almost sixteen weeks. Could probably detect omma had been in trouble.

“Mama, you’re doing good so far. And the little bean isn’t upset either.”

Sok-jun was finished with his own examination and did FAST again even though the EMT’s already did. Song-eun scanned the monitor alongside him. No free fluid. Good. He met Song-eun’s eyes and nodded and left.

The neuro attending was already examining the queen’s eyes. Song-eun saw what he saw. “Reactive, symmetrical pupils.” Thank heavens. Good reaction to stimulus. “We can check for focal deficits later. Keep her stabilized.”

Both of Tae-eul’s eyes were red with corneal abrasion and Song-eun winced. She gestured to one of the interns to administer antibiotic eye drops.

“Get me that KB test result asap,” she said as Tae-eul got the polymyxin for her eyes and an ortho team looked at the queen’s legs, which had ugly bruises. But they were superficial. “Let’s use the Lodox right now and then take her to CT. Head and chest just to be sure." Neuro nodded. "Keep her asleep for another hour. Mom and baby are stable. Let’s keep it that way.”

She’d just only noticed and recognized Seok Ho-pil when he spoke. He had stood quietly at the door, not getting in the way, but not relenting to be pushed out either.

“Seonsaengnim, forgive me-- are all those safe for Her Majesty? The CT and the Lodox? What’s the KB test? And can she hear you? I thought she was sedated so she won’t be distressed?”

Song-eun nodded. “We talk to patients under sedation. Sometimes they can hear us. And no, she’s not in distress or in pain, don’t worry. And yes, everything’s safe. Absolutely. I want the CT of her head and chest because that’s where the airbags hit. The Lodox is a full body scan, very safe, low-dose x-ray. I don’t want to miss any injury at all. The Lodox will see if there’s any and we can determine if we need more imaging done then. The KB test is to check if and how much the baby’s hemoglobin transferred to the mother’s bloodstream and we can prevent the potential of Rhesus disease if mom and baby have different Rh blood factors.”

She looked at the rest of the Royal Guard, all listening intently. They were probably privy to the fact that the queen was a rare B negative. It was why Song-eun had been so afraid if the queen was bleeding. Only 1 in 3000 Coreans matched Tae-eul’s Rhesus negative blood. She could take O-neg, but if she needed platelets… Song-eun shuddered. At least she hadn’t slipped and informed the entire room. But the entire room would probably be under NDAs in a matter of minutes.

She could see eight guards in total, scattered in the ER lobby, gathering stares from everyone, and three had already moved ahead, probably to check the Diagnostics Room where the Lodox was.

And then suddenly there were more black suits almost completely covering up the seafoam walls of the hospital.

Song-eun stepped out of the trauma room and came face to face with the king.

She had faced her share of devastated husbands in her career and she hoped she never had to look at the king looking like that again. This was her king and her namdongsaeng and it was heartbreaking to see him so terrified.

She broke protocol and spoke first. “Pyeha, we’re still about to confirm with CT and Lodox about the queen’s injuries, but the baby seems to be fine right now and the queen has passed all tests so far. We just need to confirm and keep them both stable. We’ll do our best. We have everything we need here.”

The king didn’t speak, just stepped past her and into the room. His eyes landed on the monitors and then on the queen. Song-eun was glad everyone had been prompt and fastidious about keeping the queen under a warm sheet.

As it was, the king only saw the queen’s face, with those angry red patches on her left cheek and jaw. The king took a deep shuddering breath and released it, hands rising and fingertips pressing to his eyes.

Song-eun looked away.

She nodded to the orderlies scattered like discarded umbrellas because of the arrival of the Royal Guard. They were easy to spot in their lilac scrubs in the mass of black suits. The two closest bowed to the guards on the way, bowed to the king, bowed to the queen, and then pushed and pulled the gurney.

The king startled as if he was going to grab the gurney but stopped himself. Song-eun laid a hand on his arm, and he jumped again.

Song-eun pressed her hand on his arm more firmly. “We’re taking Her Majesty to the Lodox and then to CT. You can come with us if you like, Pyeha.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok-nam watched Mo Jin-ha burst into tears and wished she could just as easily let go like that. But she couldn’t, she never had, and one of these days, it might kill her, but she wasn’t going to faint this time.

Not until she heard something that would really make her faint.

“I’m sorry-- it’s just-- you know how much I struggled before I finally had Woo-jin and this is-- this is awful.”

Ok-nam patted Jin-ha on the shoulder. Poor Jin-ha had had three miscarriages. It was why she was here, crying, instead of following the king to CorGen. Woo-jin was her little miracle, but the loss of her other children still stung. Would always do.

“Hush now. Let’s wait and pray. We should hear from them any moment now. And you need to make an announcement before rumors spread.”

Jin-ha nodded, wiping tears and straightening her spine. Ok-nam turned to the two policemen who had arrived, hoping to get a statement here but instead seeing the press secretary lose the composure she was famous for.

“Drink your tea, gentlemen,” Ok-nam said. “You do have colleagues who went to the hospital?”

“Yes, ma’am. But if we could get a statement from you--when you hear from them-- then we wouldn’t need to disturb Their Majesties.”

Jin-ha gave another sob. “Oh, the poor queen. She loves that baby so much-- I hope she doesn’t--”

Ok-nam thumped a hand on her chabudai and Jin-ha and both men jumped. “Stop that,” Ok-nam said, ignoring how her heart thumped mournfully and fearfully in her chest. “Don’t think that. Don’t speak of that.”

The phone rang and they all jumped again. Ok-nam answered it just as Seung-ah arrived and knelt beside her.

“Captain Jo, what has--”

“Lady Noh. The queen is fine. No major injuries. They’re still monitoring the queen and the baby. The king is with her. They’re getting her scans.” Ok-nam closed her eyes and sagged in relief. Jin-ha gave a sob of relief and Ok-nam shushed her.

“Seung-ah has the accident footage so you can see,” Jo Yeong continued over the phone. “We’ve already released it to the police. Jangmi has a clavicle fracture and rib fractures and In-yeong has a broken wrist, three fractured fingers, bruised ribs.”

Poor Jangmi and In-yeong. “Do you-- do you have that driver?”

“Yes.” And that was all Yeong said. Ok-nam heard rage in that calm voice. She felt rage herself. “I’ve sent all information to Secretary Mo. She can make the statement at her discretion. I’ll update you.”

Ok-nam put the phone back in its cradle. Seung-ah, pale-faced and pale-lipped, raised her iPad but Ok-nam turned away.

“Are you mad? I don’t want to see it. Show it to these gentlemen.”

Jin-ha seemed to have already received the same footage and the information Captain Jo mentioned in her iPad, and judging by her gasping over the screen, Ok-nam made the right decision not to look at the footage.

“I’m going to pray.”

She took a private, empty, circuitous route so she wouldn’t trail anxious and hysterical court maids and court ladies. She had no time and no patience to comfort anyone.

In the kitchen garden amongst the onggi, her tears surprised her. She wiped them almost angrily.

There was no call for tears yet.

She bowed and prayed.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The sound is not unlike galloping horses. Maybe galloping horses on the coast, because he can also hear a swishing noise like the wind and the surf.

Tae-eul is laughing. “It’s so loud and fast! Are you crying?”

“No.” He blinks his eyes and sniffs as quietly as he can. He sees Song-eun biting her lips and looking amused as she holds the Doppler against Tae-eul’s belly.

Tae-eul squeezes his hand. He moves his eyes away from the ultrasound screen just as she also does. Their eyes meet, and his breath stutters a bit because her eyes are at their most beautiful yet since he met her.

He kisses her hand. And with their child's heartbeat drumming in the background, they grin at each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Gon listened to it more times than he'd admit. It was in his playlist for cooking breakfast. He even danced to it in the shower. Tae-eul had caught him at it one time and had laughed so hard and so long she had to sit on the floor.

She didn’t tease him about it, but she invariably looked at him and giggled whenever anyone brought up the baby’s heartbeat or when she listened to the file in her own phone.

He stopped the audio file and put his phone back in his pocket. The beeps of the two heart rate monitors were discordant and so different from the rhythmic gallop and swish of his baby’s real heartbeat but he let those beeps deafen him to everything else.

He kissed Tae-eul’s hand and wished her awake.

She was so pale against the cream sheets on the bed. She now had bandages over her cheek and jaw. Her eyelids were rimmed with red. Her brows were slightly furrowed. She wasn’t tranquil in her sleep.

They’d told him she wasn’t in pain. What scared him was if she was trapped in some nightmare after the terrifying experience she just went through.

It had been almost an hour or so since the tests were done. The CT and the Lodox both found a hairline fracture on her left clavicle.

They’d put her arm in a sling for that and kept her in the neck brace in case of whiplash. Everything else seemed fine. Her head, her spine. Until she woke up and complained of what else hurt, they had no way of knowing, apart from the bad bruising on her left shoulder, on her toes, and on the front of her shins when her legs might have flown and hit against the front seat.

Her blood pressure was back to normal. They’d told him she had been distressed--in the emotional term-- when the ambulance arrived, her heart rate too fast and her breathing erratic, which was why they sedated her and put her on oxygen immediately.

He just knew why she’d been so anxious and afraid.

Song-eun walked into the room and Gon blinked back the sting in his eyes. “Noona.”

“Pyeha. You know Her Majesty is Rhesus negative. We can confirm now that Little bean is Rhesus positive, just like you. We found some hemoglobin of little bean’s in the queen’s circulation so I’m giving her the RhoGAM now.”

Gon watched Song-eun administer the shot on Tae-eul’s arm.

So he saw it when Tae-eul grabbed Song-eun’s hand.

“Mama, you’re awake. How are you feeling? I just gave you a RhoGAM shot. We talked about it before.”

Gon got up and Tae-eul saw him. She let go of Song-eun and reached for him with both hands at first, but both hands went to her belly below her navel, where the fetal HR monitor’s attachments were.

The vital signs monitor made a harsh protest. Tae-eul’s heart rate was spiking.

Gon said, “Tae-eul, you’re all right, the baby’s okay.”

She looked at him and opened her mouth to speak but made an expression of pain, touched her jaw, and cried out when she discovered the raw skin of her burn there.

Gon grabbed her hands in his, looked into her eyes and said, “Tae-eul. You’re all right. The baby’s all right.”

She just looked at him as if she couldn’t understand him. And she was already crying.

Gon stared at her. Why wasn’t she-- and then it clicked. She was probably still deaf from the airbags. He looked at Song-eun and she had obviously come to the same conclusion. She tapped her ears, and then pointed and nodded at the fetal monitor, already rounding the bed to get to it herself.

Gon beat her to it. He let go of Tae-eul with one hand and reached for the fetal monitor to turn the screen toward Tae-eul. His movement was enough to make Tae-eul look in that direction, turning her head as much as she could in the brace.

Gon returned both hands to cradle hers. He bent down to press his lips against her fingertips. He could feel himself shaking with relief now that she was awake.

She looked at the fetal monitor for long moments. The vital signs monitor quieted but her crying continued. Gon bent over her and gently took her in his arms without actually lifting her up. He snaked one arm under her waist and the other arm under her side. She sobbed against his shoulder and he felt her grip the back of his pullover.

He pressed his cheek against her hair, glad she was awake, his heart breaking a little with each sob. She shouldn’t have had to go through this. This much fear. This much worry.

Her sobs slowly stopped until she was only taking deep shuddering breaths. Gon gently pulled back his arms, kissed her uninjured cheek, and wiped her eyes, careful not to actually go near her eyelids with the tissues.

Song-eun caught Tae-eul’s attention. As if she hadn’t just witnessed a breakdown, Song-eun spoke and gestured at the same time, and she enunciated carefully so that even Gon saw her words as much as heard them.

“Tae-eul. Look at me. Baby is here--” Song-eun cupped both hands low on her belly, over her pelvis. “Airbag was here--” Song-eun pointed both open palms on her shoulders and mimed the slam of the airbags over her face and shoulders with a slamming movement of her hands.

“So baby is safe. Okay?” She turned to Gon. “And your car was awesome. God. I have to get one of those.”

“I’ll buy you one,” Gon said, without taking his eyes off Tae-eul. She had calmed down, wincing and squinting with her eyes, looking between them and the fetal monitor.

Song-eun nudged him away from Tae-eul’s side and took his place, sitting beside Tae-eul’s hip and leaning forward to Tae-eul. She held up her index finger. “Follow the finger, Mama. Good. Okay. I’m going to use my light.” She shone that light in and out of Tae-eul’s eyes. Then she placed both her palms under Tae-eul’s. “Pyeha, show her to push on my hands. I saw how she gripped your sweater but I want to make sure.”

Gon mimed bearing down with his hands. Tae-eul pushed. Next, Song-eun mimed making fists with both hands. Tae-eul did that, too. Song-eun swiveled her hips on the bed so she faced the window, leaned back on her hands, and extended and raised her legs, one after the other. Tae-eul did the same.

Song-eun smiled and squeezed Tae-eul’s hands. “Good, good. Just need to wait for your ears to come back. They’ll be back in a bit. You’re good.”

Gon nudged Song-eun aside and she willingly went, smiling. He pushed the button on the side panel and raised Tae-eul’s bed gently, watching her face for any discomfort from her fracture.

Then when she was more or less sitting up, he leaned forward and hugged her as gently as he could, kissed her on the forehead and on her right cheek. He felt her arms close around his waist, and he pulled back before she tried to raise her arms higher. He didn’t want her to strain her fracture.

He enunciated like he saw Song-eun do, not exaggerated but clearly defining each syllable. “Are you all right? Does anything hurt?”

Her eyes went from his lips to his eyes. She spoke carefully now, testing how much her jaw would let her do. “Why can’t I hear you?”

Gon said, “The airbags.”

Song-eun said, “It’s temporary. Around sixteen to forty-eight hours. Is there a ringing noise?”

It took three tries before Tae-eul understood the question, then she shook her head no.

“Oh, good. I’m glad you don’t have tinnitus.” Song-eun cast another long look at the vital signs monitor, smiled at Tae-eul, retrieved the empty syringe she’d dropped when Tae-eul grabbed her, and left, saying she’ll be back later.

“Did you catch that? She said your deafness will last overnight or two days.”

Tae-eul nodded. Then she looked past him at the fetal monitor again, blinking, her eyes spilling tears. Her hands went up to her eyes and Gon stopped her hands before they made contact. She looked at him, wincing. “My eyes hurt.” “I know. I’m sorry. That’s from the airbags, too. Here, noona gave me your eye drops.”

If she didn’t catch that, she quickly understood when he came back to her side with the bottle he’d fetched from her bedside table. Tae-eul being Tae-eul, she tried to be helpful. When she couldn’t tilt her head back at all in the neck brace, she tried anyway. “Ow.” She looked down at her shoulder and her sling as if discovering it for the first time.

Gon used her bed’s recliner and applied the eye drops.

“You have a crack on your clavicle. So don’t move your shoulder or your arms. Does your neck hurt? We’re not sure if you have some muscle strain there.”

“Will you just use your phone? Or find a pen and paper. A… a whiteboard and marker. I’m getting tired trying to read your lips.”

That return of her spirit made him smile. He put down the bottle of eye drops and started writing on her palm instead. And grinned when she also smiled.

But when he was done, her lips were trembling and her face was twisting. She reached for him without raising her hands much from her lap.

Carefully so he wouldn’t jolt her injuries, he moved forward where he sat on her right. He slid his arm around her waist and gently pulled her close. She sighed and entirely rested her right side against him.

“I can’t believe it. Just-- just my collarbone?”

He nodded. It wasn’t just her collarbone, but he could elaborate later.

“I was so scared. I thought it would be worse--”

“Me too.” He wrote the hangul on her palm.

“What about Jangmi and In-yeong?”

“They’re okay, but they have fractures. They’re in surgery to fix them.”

“Oh no. Fractures where?”

“I don’t really know yet. I’ve been with you all this time.”

“They’re going to be so frustrated,” Tae-eul said. “They’ll have to be off-duty.”

“Well, you’ll also be off-duty. You can all be off-duty together.”

“Talk again.”

“What is it?”

She pressed her hand against his chest. “I can feel your voice.”

“Oh. It’s the vibrations.”

She pressed her fingertips at his throat. “I feel your voice better here. Say something.”

“Saranghae. I was scared to death. I’m grateful you’re all right. Are you really all right?”

She nodded, eyes spilling tears again. “You and Song-eun said I am.” And her eyes flicked to the fetal monitor.

Gon sighed and held her closer.

“And you’re sure the baby’s all right? What did Song-eun say?”

This time, he took his phone out of his pocket and typed on it with his arms around her.

She said we’re lucky you’re only almost 16 weeks. The baby’s still small, and the layers of protection are thicker than if you were further along. You did have to get a RhoGAM shot now, and Song-eun says she’ll monitor the baby for Rhesus disease from now on.

Tae-eul was nodding as she read his screen. The Rhesus incompatibility situation wasn’t new to them. They’d learned about it in her first screenings.

Do you have other questions?

Tae-eul stiffened a little in his arms, and Gon thought she was finally going to ask about the driver. Gon had been trying not to think of him either. He had focused on Tae-eul, but now that she was awake and asking questions, the driver was invading his thoughts.

He still didn’t know much aside from the fact that he was completely drunk.

However, after relaxing in his arms again, Tae-eul poked the top right of his phone screen and said, “It’s almost eleven. Why am I not hungry? I haven’t eaten in twelve hours.”

Gon exhaled a laugh. He kissed her hair. He loved this woman. He typed, You ate at eleven pm?

“Don’t go there.”

Still smiling, he typed, I think they gave you something in your IV so you won’t feel acidic and hungry in case you stayed asleep longer. And they gave you vitamins and other essentials. I’ll go ask if you can eat.

He gently maneuvered her back onto her bed. She sighed against her pillow and then looked at the fetal monitor again. Her eyes suddenly went droopy, and Gon knew her adrenaline spike after waking up had worn off now that she knew their baby was safe. And her eyes were probably tired anyway. With her corneal abrasions, sleeping would do her good.

“Hold off on the food,” she said as she closed her eyes. “But get me my kalbi.”

Gon pushed the bed’s button again and put the bed back in full recline. He pressed a kiss on her forehead, and then on her lips, lingering there for several long moments. He loved her, he had missed her, and today he’d nearly lost her.

When they parted, she said, “Saranghae.”

“Nado.”

He didn’t leave her, of course. Gon dropped on the armchair and took several deep breaths, exhaling quietly. His relief sent him doubling over, elbows on his knees, and he thanked God over and over. A litany of Gamsahabnida.

Then he leaned back on the armchair and just looked at her. Now her face no longer looked pinched, as if she was truly sleeping now. Once he was sure she was in deep sleep, Gon hit 3 on his phone.

“Yeong. Ask Dr Chae if Tae-eul can eat. She’s asleep now but she asked about food.”

“Ye, Pyeha.” And before Gon could ask, Yeong added, “My report is in the Drive. I have a lead so I’m about to leave, Pyeha. We’ll continue updating the doc.”

“All right. Thank you.”

Gon took a deep breath and navigated to the Drive. He wasn’t about to leave Tae-eul’s side and Yeong couldn’t deliver the report personally, so this Drive folder, usually for documentation only and something Gon had never looked at, came in handy.

He saw the thumbnail of the footage and his jaw clenched. As king and sovereign justice, he had to watch it.

He watched Jangmi approach the intersection defensively, not crossing it even with the light on green because of that suspicious oncoming white car from the left.

He watched the white car barrel through the intersection-- other cars swerving to a halt.

He watched his wife’s car stop beyond the path of the white car, just like all other cars had done.

He watched the white car swerve for no reason at the last second and ram into his wife’s car, even though practically all the cars had given it a clear path across.

He watched it twice and closed the video before his blood boiling made him throw his phone at the wall.

He could feel his jaw trembling with rage and he swore under his breath to release some of his anger. It made him feel dirty even though Tae-eul was asleep and couldn’t have heard him. He rubbed his hands over his face and looked at Tae-eul, letting the sight of her calm him.

He opened the report next. Aside from details that he already knew, like the time and location of the collision, and Tae-eul’s condition at the time of the ambulance response, it now included photos of Jangmi’s and In-yeong’s x-rays and Yeong’s notes.

Jang Mi-reuk:

lacerations on the face, neck and arm (left)

Type 1 distal clavicle fracture (left)

Type A oblique rib fractures (left posterior 4th, 5th and 6th ribs)

Type B transverse rib fracture (left posterior 7th rib)

30% pneumothorax (left lung)

severe bruising on the left side

sensorineural hearing loss and tinnitus (prognosis: temporary)

Park In-yeong:

bruised ribs (left)

distal radius fracture (right)

displaced, mid-shaft and intra-articular fractures of the phalanges (left little finger, ring finger and middle finger)

sensorineural hearing loss (prognosis: temporary)

Gon was glad Jangmi wasn’t worse. He was the only one on the left side of the car, the side of the collision. The other car had rammed the queen’s car a little behind Jangmi’s seat, and even with the car’s airbags and collision safety technology, look at all those broken bones. And his lung had collapsed.

Yeong’s report says they didn’t know how exactly In-yeong broke her wrist and fingers. Probably from slamming them against something during the crash.

Damn. And it was In-yeong’s right wrist. She wouldn’t be able to shoot a gun for weeks. The little crack shot wouldn’t like that.

The next page was about the driver.

Gon read it all but the only thing that stood out was the blood alcohol concentration. The driver weighed 160 pounds with .25 BAC.

That was beyond driving under the influence. Influence was about a quarter of the man’s blood alcohol level. What the driver did was practically--

Gon’s brain supplied manslaughter. He closed his eyes. No one had died. But someone could have. Someone could have. And if Gon hadn’t bought the safest car in the world, or if Jangmi simply chose any of the other cars in the fleet, where would Gon be right now?

---------------------------------------------------------------

“SPEAK UP! I ASKED YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO THE QUEEN AND YOU HAVE TO ANSWER ME!”

Ho-pil gestured to Dong-min and ran to VIP 6, the VIP room where he could hear Jangmi bellowing. He found the man shouting at his nurse from his bed by the window.

On the other bed, In-yeong was awake and looking mournful. When she saw Ho-pil, she said, “I can’t hear it but it’s hurting my eardrums. How’s the queen?”

Ho-pil gave her two thumbs up. Queen was okay. Baby was okay. In-yeong sighed and then winced when that action jogged her ribs.

Ho-pil marched over to Jangmi, who was still bellowing like a wounded bull.

He was a wounded bull. His face, neck and arms were bandaged, his torso was bandaged and in thick braces. He also had a bandage over his clavicle where his surgery incision was. His left arm was in a sling secured with straps to keep his shoulder immobile.

When he saw Ho-pil, he stopped shouting. But he was still yelling. Ho-pil winced. “Sunbaenim. How’s the queen?”

Ho-pil repeated the two thumbs up that worked with In-yeong.

Jangmi burst into tears.

“Should I have moved the car and tried to avoid it? It happened so fast. I should have done something.”

Ahh shit. Poor Jangmi. Ho-pil pulled out his phone and typed rapidly.

You did exactly what I would have done if I’d been the one at the wheel. This wouldn’t have happened if that other bastard wasn’t blind drunk. The queen is fine. She has a clavicle fracture like you, but not as bad. And there’s something about her getting the Rhesus injection thing because she has that rare negative blood type and the baby’s a positive. Don’t terrorize your nurses. They’re the ones who’ll give you food and pain meds.

He showed the screen to Jangmi and the great bull calmed down with every word, and then turned sheepish by the end.

“I’m sorry, sunbaenim. Thank you. But I still want to apologize to the queen. Can we see the queen?”

Ho-pil mouthed, “Can you get up?”

“Sure, if you help me.”

“I’ll help you later. Rest for now. I think Their Majesties will let us know if they want to see--”

Dong-min pounded on the open door and waved frantically at Ho-pil. “Seonsaengnim, the king wants--”

And then the king himself stepped into the room.

They all bowed their heads. Not just out of respect. The king looked murderous. For some reason, Ho-pil had a flashback he couldn’t identify because he had never seen the king like this before, but his mind told him the king was dangerous when he looked like this.

And contrary to Jangmi, the king spoke in quiet, precise syllables that made the hair on Ho-pil’s neck rise.

“Sub-captain Seok. Captain Jo is already investigating that man.” Ho-pil heard disgust and knew the king wanted to call the man something else. Ho-pil already did in his own head. “He has a lead somewhere else. Now I want information on where that man drank all night. If it was an establishment, the owner, and the staff who served him. If it was a private party, who he was with. Call his employers or his employees.”

“Ye, Pyeha. His family, too?”

“We already know his family. Captain Jo sent it in. In any case, I don’t want testimony from anyone who might beg for him not to die.”

“Ye, Pyeha.”

With a nod toward In-yeong and Jangmi, the king left.

They waited ten seconds, and then In-yeong and Jangmi asked him what the king said. Ho-pil typed it on his phone and showed it first to In-yeong, and then to Jangmi.

In-yeong had just looked vindictive. Jangmi spoke their thoughts aloud. Real loud.

“HOLY SHIT.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A loud, grinding noise and the crash of metal against metal.

The piercing shatter of glass breaking. The explosive full blast of airbags. Brakes squealing.

Pain and burning on her eyes, her shoulder, her legs, everywhere. She struggled to part her eyelids but they wouldn’t cooperate beyond a small squint. She couldn’t see Jangmi and In-yeong at all.

She couldn’t hear anything either.

Someone was lifting her and she told them to be careful, she was pregnant, but if they heard her she had no idea-- she knew she was speaking but the way she heard herself was different. Was she dead and was it this quiet when you were dead?

She couldn’t be dead-- she was going to have a baby. And Gon would be devastated. No, no.

Suddenly, her eyes were open and she saw the car coming again as if to finish the job now that the paramedics had brought her out of the shelter of the car.

Determined that it wouldn’t get her this time, she struggled against the paramedics and ran with all her might away from them all, away from that car.

But it still hit her and she felt that gentle and violent rocking again.

It made her ill.

Suddenly, she realized she really was throwing up over a basin. Her eyes were really open. When she was done, she could see beyond the basin and her sheets. Cream sheets and blankets now being gently and efficiently changed around her by court maids in their familiar uniform. Leaf green walls and cream paneling and a big glass window showing the dimming light of sunset.

She was in a hospital room, not a highway full of stopped traffic and one murderous car.

Something cool and comforting was being pressed against the right side of her face. Comforting in contrast to the dull ache she felt in her legs and feet, her shoulder, her face. Everything hurt.

Gon was beside her. He was the one holding the basin and the towel against her cheek. When he saw she was really done being sick, he passed the basin to a court maid, wiped Tae-eul’s mouth with the towel, and offered her a glass of water with a straw.

Tae-eul sipped water and swallowed it with some difficulty past the sobs building in her chest and throat. She held off as long as she could, but they came out anyway.

When she woke up this morning, she had cried with relief. She had been so afraid, so sure that she was about to be told she was no longer-- but then she felt the attachments on her belly and saw the fetal monitor and-- she cried with relief.

Right now, she was crying from residual terror. She had been a detective. She knew what this was. Only, she had known and seen it happen to others. In colleagues, in witnesses, in suspects.

Now she knew what it was like. And her detective’s brain tried to feed her with facts to ease her anguish. She focused her eyes on the fetal monitor. Her baby was fine. She was fine. She couldn’t hear but she was fine. She was in the hospital. She cracked her collarbone. But she was fine. The car hadn’t hurt her. Hadn’t hurt them.

Gon was real, his arms around her, his hand stroking her hair soothingly, and his breath against her ear.

The sick feeling in her stomach receded. Her heart slowed down. She clung to Gon’s arm and let herself fall back against him, on the familiar shelter of his shoulder.

She pressed her lips together to close her mouth and stop crying. There was no need to carry on like this. She looked at Gon, drank him in with her eyes, and let that gaze and that nose and those lips and that jawline blot out the last vestiges of that car from behind her eyelids.

But it frustrated her that she couldn’t hear his voice. She could feel his chest rumbling softly and his lips moving against her forehead but she heard nothing.

He brought his face close to hers, gently tilting her chin so she could see him. She focused on his lips as they moved. “You’re all right. I’m here. Are you all right?”

She nodded and shook her head. “Everything hurts.”

Gon’s mouth curved down. “I’m sorry. Your medication should take effect soon. Noona gave you another dose some time ago. You’ll be fine.”

She nodded, raising her right hand to cradle his neck. When he spoke again, she felt it against her palm. “Do you want to tell me about it? What woke you up? Was it the accident?”

She nodded again. “Just… I saw it all over again. And everything I heard then. I wish I could hear something else to push it out of my head.”

Gon pulled some tissues from the box on her bedside table and gently dabbed at her cheeks, careful not to make contact with her eyes.

He said, “I could sing to you. Maybe only feeling the vibrations on my throat would make it sound better.”

She caught all that from reading his lips and it made her smile. “Go on.”

And Gon sang. An English song he’d heard her alternately sing and hum. It was like a lullaby. Soft, comforting, the notes rising and falling in smooth harmony. She could hear the song in her head, and her mind added the tune to Gon’s voice vibrating against her palm, drowning out that awful screech of metal.

“Moon river,

wider than a mile,

I’m crossing you in style some day.”

Her stomach chose that moment to grumble.

Gon stopped singing and looked at her. “I know I can’t sing as well as you, but that was rude.”

Tae-eul laughed.

“Come on. Let’s get you fed. You’ve had nothing but liquid nutrition all day.”

As if listening for this, another court maid came in and laid a tray on the bed. Then she placed and uncovered a black and gold ceramic dosirak on top of it. Tae-eul smelled kimchi and kalbi and her mouth watered.

Gon picked up the tray and placed it over her lap. She opened her mouth and he chuckled, taking a little bit of everything into a spoonful and bringing it to her mouth.

“Good?”

“Really good. Did I lose my phone?”

Gon nodded. “It was on the seat behind Jangmi. Why?”

“Give me your phone.”

She didn’t even have to navigate much. The file she wanted was on the homescreen. She played it at maximum volume. Nothing.

She sighed.

“You remember how it sounds, though, right?” Gon asked.

Oh, she did. But she wanted to hear it, not remember it.

She wanted that heartbeat to assure her, distract her, make her feel safe and happy again. And Gon’s voice. She needed his voice, too.

They both ate the dosirak without talking much, both of them retreating inside their own heads, and then Gon helped her wash her face-- with wipes-- and brush her teeth-- with a basin.

Maybe her pregnancy-safe painkillers still had narcotic side-effects, or maybe she was just tired out from everything. She drowsily played with Gon’s hand in her lap.

She decided she couldn’t put it off any longer. “Gon. The driver.”

He looked at her, and his gaze was still the same whenever he looked at her, but she saw the fury there, the hard and unforgiving glint.

“Tell me about the driver.”

He took his hand from hers, navigated his phone, and gave it to her with the document open.

She scrolled past Yeong’s notes on her condition, on Jangmi’s and In-yeong’s, her heart squeezing at their injuries, and then there he was. His driver’s license. Kim Ae-go, 1977 08 29, Gijang-gun.

The report had been updated an hour ago with priors. Several counts of DUI and possession, the first one when he was 16. When he was 19, he had crashed his car into a house, killing a cat and her four kittens. The case was settled. When he was 24, he had hit a 15-year-old kid on a bike and the kid was paralyzed from the waist down, but the case was settled. Five years later, he was tried for vehicular manslaughter-- a 17-year-old girl and her 10-year-old sister were killed-- but was acquitted.

“I can’t believe this.”

Gon looked at her, that glint in his eyes sharper now.

“This... this son of a bitch is a menace.”

Gon blinked.

“Well, now that he has endangered the bloody queen and the heir, he has no chance of being acquitted, has he? You can even behead him.” She slammed his phone down on the bed.

Gon stared at her, his eyes flickering between her and the vital signs monitor.

“What? I suppose we can’t have him beheaded just because I was the one attacked this time. He should have been punished long ago. Just… just get him imprisoned for life. No parole.”

In response, Gon’s hand came to cradle her uninjured cheek, and then he was kissing her, pressing and stroking her lips with his, taking her lower lip in his mouth, pulling on it and teasing it with his tongue.

Then he just lingered there with their lips brushing while they both breathed each other’s air. His eyes stared into hers, and the glint was still there, but it was a different kind.

He kissed her again, just a quick but still persistent kiss, and then withdrew.

He took his phone from where she’d slammed it on her bed covers-- now the silk from the palace-- and typed on it. He showed her the screen.

I wanted him beheaded. But I suppose life imprisonment is more appropriate so he can properly reflect and pay for his sins. He’s already under lock and key in the hospital. No chance of being acquitted, no. And yes, life with no parole.

Get better soon, my queen. I missed you. And I love you when you’re bloodthirsty.

She didn’t quite slam his phone down on the bed again, but it was still close. She felt ridiculous about it and glared at him.

He was laughing as he pushed the button on her bed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Gon was shaken, however. He watched Tae-eul asleep in the glow of the lamps, her face golden and beautiful and angelic. Was this Tae-eul’s purpose in his world? Not just a queen but a trap for pests?

He opened his phone and tapped their favorite audio file almost automatically. The volume was still on the last setting by Tae-eul-- maximum-- and he didn’t lower it. He let it wash over him.

It sounded like how his heart thundered in his ears that morning-- just that morning-- when Yeong told him Tae-eul had been in a car crash.

It also sounded like a drum roll before an announcement. What would he announce? That the queen was taking a leave of absence? Could he send her--ask her--to stay in the republic and hope she was safe there?

He grimaced at the stupidity and futility of that thought.

His phone buzzed in his hand. It was Yeong.

“Pyeha. I’m coming to your room and I’ll stay with the queen.”

“Why?”

“He’s awake. He remembers everything. And the Minister of Finance is here.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ok-nam saw the sickle moon again in her dream. And just like before, it turned into a brilliant sun.

She didn't know why that thrilled her and assured her but it did.

She was just about to happily sink further in her dream and sleep when she felt herself being pulled to wakefulness.

It was the phone. She answered it and heard the king’s voice just as what happened that day hit her.

"How are you? Have they told you everything?"

"Pyeha. How is the queen?"

"Better. She's fine. They're both fine." Ok-nam sighed. "Lady Noh. Should one punish severely or well?"

Ok-nam didn’t even have to think about it. “Do both. Always.” She dipped her head with emphasis even though the king, her little boy, couldn’t see her. “This is how you make things right. This is how you inspire other people to also always make things right.”

“Hmm. You and your punishments that involve three generations.”

Ok-nam raised her eyes to the ceiling. “I don’t really do that! You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. Thank you.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

The Minister of Finance was prostrate before the king.

This day was just full of surprises. Ho-pil had just arrived back at the hospital to make a report to the king when Captain Jo asked him to escort the minister to VIP 5. Ho-pil balked at that, disgusted that the minister and his asshole son were in the VIP wing right alongside the queen, but Yeong told him the entire VIP wing was currently occupied by the Royal Court.

True to the Captain’s word, VIP 5 was empty.

It seemed to be under renovation. Bare walls. With the minister prostrating on the bare floor.

“Pyeha, I beg your forgiveness. I am horrified at what has occurred. At what my son did. My entire family deserves to die.”

The minister was a spry seventy-four year old that Ho-pil had admired. But the man had aged since Ho-pil had last seen him. He felt almost sorry that the son’s sins were being visited on the father. Almost. Because the father had sins himself, didn’t he?

The king, standing tall with the minister at his feet, spoke in his quiet way. No fury this time, but it still made Ho-pil swear he’d never do anything to warrant the king speaking to him in that tone.

“I am not going to make accusations, Minister. But your son has been endangering people for more than two decades. He has even killed two girls. He was acquitted. With his priors, the acquittal seems impossible until one looks at the family he belongs to.

“What do you hope to obtain?”

“Our lives. We deserve to die but please let my family live, Pyeha. I will accept all other punishments I deserve.”

The king replied without pause. “So be it. You are henceforth stripped of your title and ministership. You and your wife are banished from Corea. Your son will be tried and imprisoned the maximum sentence. As I’m the sovereign justice, and this time the case is right before my eyes and I hope I’m no longer an inadequate teenaged monarch, I can assure you your son will die in incarceration. Is that to your satisfaction?”

The minister lowered his head further on the floor. “Pyeha-- my parents-- they’re the ones who coddled the boy. I humbly suggest the punishment extend to them.”

“Very well. I trust your word. They will join you in exile. None of you are allowed to set foot in the kingdom. Not even to die here.”

“Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for sparing my children and grandchildren, Pyeha.”

If the father impressed Ho-pil, the son disgusted him.

The king didn’t even bother to speak to the gibbering man. What a fucking cockroach, begging for forgiveness without acknowledging his actions. The king entered his room, looked at him, and just seemed to tune him out when he began talking.

And when Ho-pil told the king that the cockroach had thrashed the server who had confiscated his car keys, Ho-pil saw the king’s hand clench at his side.

Ho-pil was sure that if the Four Tiger Sword had been at the king’s hip in its scabbard, he would have slit the man’s throat.

But aside from that small movement anyone untrained would have missed, the king didn’t even flinch as they left the room.

“Add that to his charges. And place the server in protective custody. I think Captain Jo already made contact with the family of the girls and they’re under our protection as well. Cut off all communication channels of the Kim family until and after the four senior Kims are exiled.”

“Ye, Pyeha.” His investigation had told him as much. The old Kim patriarch had a long reach without having to step outside his villa. It was just unlucky for the old man he was now standing toe to toe with the king.

“Sub-captain Seok, please inform Secretary Mo that if there are other cases like this that have escaped my notice, I want them all at my desk by Friday next.”

Ho-pil stood tall and took immense pride in saying, “Ye, Pyeha.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

The guards at the door of VIP 7 were instead standing near VIP 6. Gon heard the din of raised voices as he stepped past them. The guards had stepped away so they wouldn’t hear. What on earth--

As he stopped at the door, he heard Tae-eul’s voice clearly, and it stunned him because for a moment, he thought she was talking to him.

“And do you think the republic has force fields that prevent a car crash? I could have a car accident there, too.”

Then Yeong spoke. “What if you had died? What if the baby--”

“Don’t think that. I didn’t die. I didn’t lose--”

“Are you going to look at death every day? I thought it was over.”

“Why do you always make me talk in cliches? We do look at death every day. Anything can happen to anyone at any time.”

“Don’t tell me you don’t see it. You were used today to finally catch that man. You saw his records. Once he slammed into YOUR car, there was no hope for him. His entire family’s power gone just like that because he happened to crash into the queen this time. That was unnecessary. That was senseless. The king would have caught on to him sooner or later. But look what happened. And because you and I both know you’ve been put here on purpose, aren’t you a little suspicious? Aren’t you even a little afraid?”

“Of course I’m afraid. I’m terrified. But there are things you fight and stay for even when you’re afraid. You know that.”

Gon had felt his stomach drop at Yeong’s words, and then Tae-eul’s just knocked the wind out of him. Yeong didn’t answer, so Gon opened the door. He found them on opposite ends of the room, Tae-eul in bed and Yeong standing at the window.

Both of them looked impassive, although Tae-eul’s visible cheek was flushed.

“Did I interrupt something?”

Yeong said, “No.” Tae-eul just sighed.

Gon knew that no matter how tenacious she was, what Yeong said had bothered her. Of course, it would.

To his surprise, Yeong spoke up.

"I'm worried about you. Both of you. If something happens to either of you, I'm the one who'll be left with the pieces. I’m meant to protect you. Why else do I remember everything? But how can I protect you from something like this? I’m powerless and useless.”

Gon took a deep breath and spoke of the realization that had come to him between his call to Lady Noh and his audience with the ex-minister. “Something or someone else will prove powerful and useful then, Yeong-ah.”

Yeong scowled at him.

“It’s a balance. How do you think I felt this morning? I was king but what good was that when Tae-eul was in a car crash? But that car proved powerful and useful. Jangmi’s defensive driving ended up powerless and useless but that car protected them, didn’t it?”

Yeong turned his head to the side, his gesture of thinking over what Gon said.

“I was thinking like you earlier. It crossed my mind that maybe I could ask her to stay in the republic. But like she told you, that didn’t make sense. And when I found out about that man’s family, everything made sense. You said I could have caught on to him sooner or later-- but can you think of any other circumstance where he would have been trapped so cleanly without escape?”

Yeong scowled and sighed. Tae-eul said, “I think that’s the longest he explained something without a math reference, don’t you?”

Yeong sighed again, but this one sounded amused, and the look he gave Tae-eul was full of exasperation. Something Gon was familiar with because it had been directed at him for dec--

Gon snapped his head to Tae-eul. “You heard me?”

Tae-eul grinned and tapped her right ear. “Loud and clear. Ever since Yeong came in and woke me up.”

“I didn’t wake you up. You were already awake.”

“What about your left ear?”

“Still fuzzy. I think because it got the brunt from all the airbags and the… the crash.”

“It will come back. I’m glad you can hear again.”

“Me, too. Give me your phone.”

Gon smiled, moving eagerly toward her, and Yeong did the same, toward the door. “I’ll see myself out. I don’t like being in the room when you two start smiling like that.”

Gon clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry too much. Live for today.”

Yeong just gave him a side-eye. “Tell yourself that, too.”

Gon nodded. “I do. Everyday.”

------------------------------------------------------------

Tae-eul watched the two best friends exchange words--too soft for her to hear-- before Yeong made it out the door. When she was out of here, she was going to send Yeong and Seung-ah to Jeju or Pyeongchang so he could decompress.

Maybe they could all go as a treat to the entire guard while Jangmi and In-yeong were recovering.

Gon gave her his phone, kissed her, and then retreated to the en suite. She heard him at the sink, brushing his teeth, the clink of the water glass against the counter, and then the gentle thump and soft buzz of his luggage as he opened zips and probably got his pajamas.

There was the faint noise of the shower door sliding on its track, once, twice, and then the muffled cascade of the shower running.

She listened to every little noise. She thought she even heard the soft hum of his electric razor. Even the soft slap of his hands as he applied aftershave. It made her smile.

And then she heard the shift of the sound of his footsteps from tile to carpet, and when she opened her eyes, he was watching her from the side of the bed.

“I thought you’d have it in full volume but I came out to absolute quiet.”

Tae-eul snorted. “You don’t know absolute quiet. And I was waiting for you.”

He smiled and helped her move on the semi-double bed to make space for him. It might be a VIP room but the bed still couldn’t be too big to hinder patient treatment. She made sure the space was big enough for Gon to lie on his back rather than on his side all night.

He laid down on his side, however, with his arm over her waist and under her sling, kissing her temple and her cheek.

She squeezed his arm with her left and then she tapped play on their favorite audio file.

Tae-eul closed her eyes and listened to it. Then she remembered Gon dancing to this and giggled. She turned the volume loud and then softer, and the little bean’s heartbeat remained steady and strong.

This was what she’d wanted to hear all day, what she’d known she would hear soon when she’d heard the soft click of the door after Yeong had entered and it latched closed.

So when Yeong had seen she was awake and started talking about his fears, she had been calm and peaceful, with her faith a solid presence in her mind and heart, all because she had known she was about to hear this heartbeat again.

She felt Gon’s thumb swipe at her cheek. “Do you hear any difference?”

She didn’t open her eyes but she tilted her head a little. Gon’s voice was another thing. “Hmm?”

“This is from today.”

“What?”

“This is the little bean at fifteen weeks, not at twelve weeks.”

Tae-eul smiled and laughed a little. “Really? I don’t hear any difference, do you?”

“No. It’s like nothing happened.”

Tae-eul chuckled. “Like nothing happened.”

___________________________________________

Question/reader reaction to A dark day for Corea: WHY DID I DO THIS?! WHYYY!

Answer: You know that sweet pregnancy trope where they listen to the baby's heartbeat? I wanted it in a flashback in a currently bleak scene.

And this is what came to me. I did my research and I kept finding things to support what I wanted to do, like the new Mercedes Benz S-class 2021 (to be released in September), the loss of hearing from airbags, and so many other bits. I loved it.

I did drop Corea News ahead so I’d be committed to seeing this through.

I almost paid for subscription to a medical procedures journal, but I did find specific answers for free. The key is to ask specific questions lol.

If I got anything wrong, forgive me. I could have asked medical people around me, but I’m shy and writing is solitary.

FACT: Rhesus negative blood is RARE in Asia. There was a sad news item in Korea where a man died because he needed platelets and couldn’t find enough donors. He had B-negative blood.

All right, let me know what you think. Please drop a line, thank you! :)

#CoreaNews #CoreaFiction #the king and queen #the king: eternal monarch #TKEM fan fiction #CoreaStories

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thenightling · 3 years

Text

My opinion on some of the Netflix Sandman rumors

We fans don’t have much in the way of substantial news about The Sandman Netflix series. All we have are rumors and gossip. I have compiled some of the rumors here along with my opinions on those rumors. Consider this a disclaimer. I am only a fan. I do not have any inside info. All the rumors here are ones that can easily be found on various sites online. Now to begin...

Rumor: Morpheus will be captured in 1916 but will not escape until present day.

This rumor has been confirmed true by Neil Gaiman on his Tumblr account and other Social media websites. In my opinion this was wise because it enables Morpheus’ capture to continue to overlap with the real-world sleeping sickness outbreak of Encephalitis Lethargica.

Rumor: Michael Sheen is playing Lucifer.

This rumor was debunked months ago by Neil Gaiman but I surmised that the one who started the rumor had found out he was playing Lucifer for The Sandman audio drama and had gotten confused. I was right. I DO however suspect Michael Sheen and possibly David Tennant will have roles in The Sandman Netflix series, just not the same role Michael Sheen had in the audio drama.

My Opinion: I’m all for Michael Sheen having a role in The Sandman Netflix series. Him and David Tennant.

Rumor: Doug Jones is going to be in The Sandman as a supporting character.

This rumor comes from two clues. The first being that Neil Gaiman has spoken about his like of Doug Jones and Guillermo Del Toro almost did a Sandman adaptation with Doug as Morpheus. Doug Jones even brought this up recently, which suggests that the subject might be on mind.

My opinion: Doug is an excellent character actor and I want this to be true. He should be in Sandman. I love Doug. And there are plenty of characters he could play. Lucien, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Doctor Destiny, various nightmares.

Rumor: Liam Hemsworth or Dacre Montgomery will play The Corinthian.

Opinion: I like Liam Hemsworth. He deserves a shot but Dacre is also good.

Rumor: Tom Sturridge is playing Morpheus.

Opinion: I am 90% sure this rumor is true. There are a number of sources claiming the same thing. Also just google how the man looks. I think he’ll do a fine job. I thought Oliver Farnworth would have been excellent too but I’m sure Tom Sturridge would be fine.

Rumor: The Netflix Sandman series will see Dream take many forms including a female form.

Opinion: This isn’t really new. We saw Dream’s feminine side in Overture. If it bothers you to see Morpheus might have a feminine side, you probably shouldn’t be watching something like Sandman anyway.

Rumor: Death will be played by a black woman.

The source of this rumor comes from Neil Gaiman saying something about loving the actress chosen for Death but feeling some people will complain.

Opinion: ...So? She’s an Endless. She can look any way she wants. I would have liked to have seen Jamie Chung in the role though. She voiced her for the Death short that accompanied the Wonder Woman: Bloodlines Blu Ray.

Rumor: Morpheus’ extended capture will effect his reunion with Hob.

My opinion: Uhhhh Duh.

Honestly though this makes me VERY curious as to how their reunion will play out. I hope it is just as sweet as the comic.

Rumor: The Corinthian will appear fairly early in the series and even advise Roderick Burgess how best to contain Morpheus.

Opinion: Well, according to the leaked Corinthian audition this is true. I don’t mind it at all. It makes sense. It fits.

Rumor: Alexander Burgess’ story is now more sympathetic and he as well as his father will age slower because of Morpheus’ capture.

Opinion: This seems likely based on certain leaks. And I kind of hope this means Morpheus will be able to punish Roderick and not Alex.

Rumor: Alex will now have an older brother who died during World War 1, a brother that Roderick preferred, and he takes out his grief on Alex in abusive ways. it also gives Roderick a new motivation for wanting to capture Death.

Opinion: This is likely true based on certain leaks from last February. I have mixed feelings about this because sometimes parents are just assholes. They don’t need a tragic loss to set off their abusive behavior. It also made Roderick worse (in the comics) that he treated his only (known) son the way he did. It’s been recently established in the comics that John Dee was actually Alex’s half-brother. I guess it all depends on how this is done.

I also don’t think Roderick needs to be grief stricken in order to want to control Death. This is a cliché, a cliché we saw in Disney’s Gargoyles and even in Hercules and Xena. Someone loses someone they love and tries to capture Death in order to bring them back. Roderick doesn’t need this trope. He was an occultist who wanted to be a big shot in the world of early twentieth century magick users. In my opinion that should be enough but I’ll keep an open mind.

Rumor: They were supposed to start filming in May but it was delayed to late October because of Covid.

This one is true.

Opinion: Hurry up!

Rumor: Roderick Burgess has no real magick in the show.

Opinion: Sadly this is likely true based on a character description leak from the casting call. I shall miss seeing Sykes’ head explode... Honestly I kind of hope this is wrong. I’m tired of magick being diminished in comic book TV and film.

Rumor: The first season of Sandman will combine Preludes and Nocturnes with The Doll’s House.

Opinion: This is likely true. I’m fine with it. It might flow better for TV this way.

Rumor: The “A game of you” storyline will have trans people writing.

Opinion: This makes sense And this is pretty much already confirmed true.

Rumor: The Netflix show will have the same cast as the audio drama.

Opinion: Though I would not mind this, I know it is not true. This is likely the result of an IMDB listing for the audio drama mistakenly calling it a show and some fans mistaking that IMDB page as being the one for the Netflix series.

Rumor: The Netflix Sandman series is canceled and the audio drama is all we’re getting.

This rumor is absolutely false! It’s a stupid rumor made by those who had no idea the audio drama was happening before the pandemic even hit. The audio drama is not compensation because there will not be a Netflix show. Both will exist.

Opinion: Shame on those leaping to this conclusion and spreading it as fact.

Rumor: A character named “Ann” is being cast and she’ll be a major recurring character.

Opinion: I’ve seen this sort of thing before. It’s how you hide what character they are trying to cast. Clearly this is a major female character for the show and probably was a name used as a place holder for Death of The Endless or even Rose Walker. I’m not too concerned about this. Some fans are upset and already raging that they’re making up a new character just for the show, ala Chloe Decker in Lucifer. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about here.

Rumor: Tom Ellis will not be playing Lucifer.

Opinion: Tom Ellis has wanted to move on from Lucifer for a while. He wants season six of Lucifer to be its last. Let him move on. Neil Gaiman also wants his Lucifer to be different from the Lucifer TV show version. The Lucifer TV series deviated heavily from the comics and it might confuse people with the big differences in lore. It is probably for the best that Tom Ellis not play Lucifer.

Rumor: The Sandman is why Lucifer is being canceled.

Opinion: No. Lucifer has been canceled three times now. In fact the first time it was canceled The Sandman TV series had not been picked up by Netflix yet. Lucifer has had six seasons. For a paranormal police procedural that’s a good, long, run. Not everything can be Supernatural. Forever Knight (and most shows of that type) only had three seasons. Lucifer out lived the norm for its type of show and survived two cancelations. Let it go. Do not blame Sandman. The Sandman is what gave us Lucifer, not took it away. The Sandman is where the story of Lucifer quitting, opening Lux, and taking up piano came from.

Rumor: The Sandman is the most expensive show DC has ever made.

According to Variety this is true.

Opinion: It probably has to be expensive. Look at all the stuff they need to show us, the sets and special effects needed.

Rumor: Lucien might be played by a woman.

Apparently this rumor started because some of the Morpheus auditioners let slip that they auditioned with a woman as Lucien.

Opinion: I’m not sure how I feel about this. I love the character of Lucien. A a woman version might take a little getting used to. I don’t hate the idea, I just prefer how he appears in canon. Further note, I kind of hope he has a full head of hair like he does in the recent comics. There is a very high chance she was just reading his lines since at the time the role being cast was Morpheus, not Lucien.

Rumor: The Sandman could air as early as Summer of 2021.

Opinion: *Insert bitter laugh here.* I wish...

Rumor: Alexander Burgess is gay.

Opinion: And in other news water is wet!

Rumor: Desire will be played by someone who identifies as Genderfluid or nonbinary.

Opinion: This is very likely true.

#The Sandman

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sign-from-god-complex · 4 years

Audio

nevertheless

Summary: “Patton’s voice was breathless, hushed and awed. It felt like reverence, like worship and truly the only worthy repayment Roman could think of was a lifetime of this—whispered love declarations and gentle touches, soft and sweet and warm like the sunshine they both held in their soul.”

Pairing: Royality.

A/N: Happy birthday @notveryglittery!!!!!! You’re such a wonderful person and a wonderful friend and I hope you have a day that’s just as lovely as you are. You deserve it.

Obviously, the song (which I also wrote) goes with the fic. It’s up to you which order you consume them in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a million ways to love you I know every one You tug and I'm undone

Roman sang quietly as he spun his way around the kitchen, voice floating gently through the air, carried on the breeze coming in through the open window.

It was late afternoon. The sunbeams were soft, every motion prompting warming light to fall against his skin yet Roman barely noticed it. He was entirely unaware of his surroundings, his head caught up in a dizzying whirlwind of melody.

There's a million ways I could ask you I know every one But how do you ask the sun

The song was an original, unfinished piece. He'd begun it weeks ago—lying in bed, his chest overflowing with bubbling affection as he tried to shake off the smile Patton had given him at lunch that day. It’d been something almost incomprehensible in its joy, leaving Roman buzzing and speechless and so present he couldn't imagine a single other place to be.

To come down from its place in the sky Just to be with you I can't ask you to

He'd been working on it almost every night since then—taking those leftover sunbeams he held in his heart and writing them onto the page, weaving them into his voice, placing them carefully into every note he played.

It was the only way he'd found that he could verbalise the way that Patton made him feel. His words failed him every time he went to describe the exact shade of Patton's eyes or the curvature of his smile or the way he made Roman breathless from nothing more than a hand against the small of his back as he pushed past him in the hallway.

They were impossible—wholly impossible—but gosh, did Roman wish.

"Know that I can't count the reasons. They're in every word, even the ones unheard." He closed his eyes for a moment, just letting the wave of music rush through him. "Not changing with the seasons. This is here to last, but I can't ignore the contrast of your warmth-"

The sound of another voice joining in shocked Roman out of his head and he stumbled, tongue tripping on words he'd sung dozens of times. Patton seemed entirely willing to carry the rest of the tune, however, gliding his way towards Roman with something of a wistful expression and causing Roman’s breath to catch in his throat.

"-and your glow and your hands moving slow. I'm a wreck, I'm a mess but I love you, nevertheless."

His voice was low and soft and it made Roman’s head spin. To hear those words, those sentiments—his sentiments—coming out of Patton’s mouth… it was dizzying.

Eventually, Patton came to a stop right in front of him and if he were any closer Roman is sure Patton would be able to hear his heartbeat, pounding as loud as thunder in the empty kitchen.

"Wh- How did you-?"

Patton smiled—small, bashful almost and even still it made Roman's heart leap in his chest. "I hear you singing it at night sometimes, when you think everyone's gone to sleep."

Roman flushed deeply at the thought that his secret late-night music sessions weren't quite as secret as he had thought. Quickly, he turned away, not being able to handle seeing the look on Patton's face as he rejected him, letting him down as slowly and kindly as possible.

"It's gorgeous, you know?" Patton asked softly. Roman didn't know—not really—but he let himself nod, not wanting this to be drawn out any further than it needed to be.

And then, Patton surprised him.

"What's it about?"

Roman blinked. "It's..."

He faltered for a second, unprepared to bare his soul right then and there for the only person who could tear it apart like it was nothing. Taking a steadying breath, he gathered his thoughts for a moment before finally speaking.

"It's about love.” His voice was soft and quiet and more than a little uncertain but despite all that he refused to let it waver. “Love that you aren't… quite sure of, love that's riddled with insecurity and doubt but holds up all the same. It's about love that you lay awake at night wishing for while at the same time knowing that asking would be foolish because… something that bright doesn't belong to you.

“It's love that's selfish and love that's relentless and love that's possessive, but, at the same time, it's precious. It's important. You wouldn't ever want to let it go."

Roman could feel his heartbeat echoing in his ears, a steady thumping sound full of fear and risk and love. It felt worth it, though. He'd happily face his greatest fears a thousand times over if only it would lead him back to Patton.

The air was still for a while, still scattered with light from the afternoon sun reflecting off the kitchen counters and illuminating Patton’s thoughtful expression. He looked almost ethereal standing there in front of him—his hair tied back into a messy bun, his eyes big and still tinged with sleep behind his glasses.

He was beautiful. And there was something in Roman that wanted to keep him just like that forever.

"I think I get it," Patton whispered after a moment's silence, "It's like… when you can't understand what he sees in you when you're just... you. And you feel like a disaster but he sees you as so much more, like somehow this cobbled-together car crash of a human being is worthy of quiet words and sweet smiles and blushes that spread across his face slower than a morning sunrise and twice as pretty."

"But even though you don't know why he loves you, you know that he does. And… you know that you love him too.”

For a moment, Roman is sure, his heartbeat stops.

Patton’s smile is soft and hopeful and despite all the years of treasuring every single smile Patton has thrown in his direction, Roman is certain that this is his favourite.

"You know, it's funny," he said softly, a grin growing on his face and his eyes filling with tears—happy tears, the kind of happy you never think you can feel until you do—"I've never quite been able to come up with an ending."

"Oh?"

Patton’s voice was breathless, hushed and awed. It felt like reverence, like worship and truly the only worthy repayment Roman could think of was a lifetime of this—whispered love declarations and gentle touches, soft and sweet and warm like the sunshine they both held in their soul.

He breathed in, cupping Patton's cheek with his hand and exhaling softly as Patton melted into it.

If this was a dream, Roman almost hoped that he’d never wake up—wanting to remain inside this fairytale with Patton forever, dancing and giggling and loving with every beat of their hearts and a thousand beats more.

Patton’s skin was soft under Roman’s palm and, slowly, Roman leant in, ghosting his lips against Patton’s own. "But I think maybe I’ve finally found one."

And to the sound of fading out chords, Roman closed the gap.

I'm a wreck, I'm a mess But you love me, nevertheless

Taglist: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun @teadays @sandersships @camcam774 @autism-goblin @deadlyhuggles6 @romanthestarstruckqueer @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear @rainboots-are-for-snobs @welpweregonnadie @spirits-in-my-thoughts @hold-my-hat @goodandbadisallmadeupnonsense @stop-it-anxiety @figurative-falsehood @jadedfantasies231 @idosanderssidespromptssometimes @poisonedapples @sanders-screams @another-sandersidesblog @do-not-just-see-observe @mychemicalpanicattheemo @primaryyblogg @localtransgrape @fandomsofrandom @gattonero17 @airiervessel @ollyollyoxinfree @tired-and-probably-crying .

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #royality #roman sanders #patton sanders #lo can write #lo can sing #dani ✨#I tried Really Hard with the ukulele so hopefully it's not too bad #I haven't been playing it for very long really #or not in any consistent manner anyway #but I tried playing it on piano and it didn't sound anywhere near as good

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ridiculousn3sswrites · 4 years

Text

Friday: The Vote - Student Council Pt. 7

*Lafayette x Reader

*Summary: After the longest week of her life, the vote on the semester budget finally arrives.

*Warnings: Mentions of blackmail, accusations. Let me know if I missed anything.

*A/N: And that concludes the Student Council series! I really liked writing this one, even if it took me forever to finish it.

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven

Outfit || My Ko-fi if you wanna support my writing

**********

A week has never taken so long to pass before. If you had to guess how long it took to get to the vote, you would’ve guessed a year before you guessed it had only been a week. As you stepped out of your house that morning, Lafayette waiting for you outside, you couldn’t help but feel a little sinking feeling. You just needed to get through the vote, and then this entire mess would be over. Well, until the spring budget vote. “Are you ready, cherie?” Laf asked, going to open your door for you.

“Yeah, I’m ready for this week to be over already. I know I dug my own grave here, but why was it so tiring?” You asked with a slight whine as you got in the car.

“Because you spent most of the week lying to an entire class of wannabe politicians,” Laf supplied. You groaned instead of actually answering him, knowing he was right. Leave it to your boyfriend to not sugarcoat anything at the time you actually wanted him to. “Just finish the vote and then we can put this behind us. We can go for coffee and then watch some movies after school if you want, cherie.”

“That sounds nice. The group isn’t doing anything tonight?”

“If Alexander’s budget passes then Eliza wants the group to get pizza and hang out tonight. If it doesn’t, then we don’t,” Laf said. “That’s only if you want to, though. I know this week’s been difficult, even if I told you how to make it not difficult.”

You rolled your eyes at the little I told you so dig he not-so-subtly slid in there. “So I guess our plans depend on how I’m going to vote then.”

“Relax, cherie. Everything is going to work out. Do you want to get breakfast?”

“I mean, we’ll probably be late if we stop, but you’re the driver,” you gave in. Lafayette shot you a small smile as he pulled out of your driveway, thoughts already filled with the promise of the fast food breakfast quickly finished in the car while the two of you sat in the parking lot. You were surprised when you actually got to school with time to spare after you’d gotten your food. A quick little breakfast had you feeling better than when you’d left your house.

You and Laf walked into the school, and the nerves were beginning to return. You didn’t really know why there were nerves; after all, you’d made your decision, you knew how you were going to vote. No matter which way you voted, you wouldn’t really face repercussions. The only benefit to refusing to participate in the factions was the fact that - since your vote was never guaranteed - neither faction wanted to truly get on your bad side. Even though you resolved the rumors with Jefferson yesterday, you still felt like he’d pull something over on you during class. If he somehow managed to prove Burr’s claims, he’d ruin your credibility in an instant.

Just get through the vote, and then nothing will matter anymore. What was it that actual politicians did since ASB members seemed to think themselves as such? Oh, right; deny, deny, deny. You didn’t think Burr would try to push this entire thing further, especially since Jefferson told him to drop it. Unless that’s just what Jefferson said in front of you before you left so you would think you were safe, and then asked Burr to look into his claims. You had to stop yourself, you were beginning to sound like a conspiracy theorist here. You were just in your mind almost all morning, first period passing in a blur, and second period passing by in almost the same way.

You must have been zoned out, because when Eliza tried to get your attention, you were slower than usual to respond. At the second call of your name, you finally turned and gave a little hm of acknowledgement. “Are you okay? You’ve been out of it,” Eliza asked, looking at you with a furrowed brow.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just nervous about the vote,” you admitted. You could let Eliza in on your secret, but would she tell Alexander? This entire thing was just getting you further into your mind, were you really questioning Eliza’s loyalty? “Do you remember how I had to speak with Burr, Madison, and Jefferson yesterday?”

“Yeah. You said something about Burr thinking you were more devious or something, right?” Eliza clarified, that look of concern still there. “I thought you solved that.”

“Yeah, well, Burr was accusing me of withholding my vote to gain special favors from both sides,” you told her. “I had my vote, but I didn’t want to say anything because I needed them to work with me instead of fighting each other. You know how they get when they’re trying to outdo each other.”

“I know, especially since I’m dating one. Even if you’d said you didn’t want to say what your vote was, they would have still tried to sway you. Don’t tell him I told you this, but Alex said there wasn’t any time to try to change your mind so he was going to leave it be. I mean, he also said since you took so long you were definitely voting for the budget, but that’s something else,” Eliza explained.

“Do you think they’ll hold it against me if they find out? Like, I didn’t do what Burr thinks I did, but if they find out I was withholding my decision, I don’t know what would happen,” you told her. Having someone other than Laf to talk this through was already doing wonders for you. It also helped that Eliza had a much gentler approach to your admission, whereas Lafayette essentially took the told you so route. Eliza paused for a second, looking around the room before she answered.

“I don’t think they will, but I would still tread carefully. Aaron has nothing solid against you, and I’m guessing you only told me and Laf, so your secret should be safe. Is there anything else I should know?”

“No, that’s everything. I just really wanted them to work with me, I wasn’t asking for any special favors or considerations.”

“I know you weren’t, you conducted everything as you normally do,” Eliza told you, placing her hand on top of yours. It was really getting into the politics part of ASB, and you were starting to get worried. The way Eliza dealt with these things was always gentler than the others, but that didn’t mean she was any less capable. “Since you didn’t receive any special benefits during this week, even with the sign offs that happened, Burr can’t pin his accusations on you. If he brings it up again, deflect and point out that you didn’t ask anything out of the ordinary while going through with this pep rally.”

“Right. You’re really good at damage control,” you complimented. Eliza smiled.

“I’ve learned from experience. Alexander’s lack of finesse and inability to apologize due to pride really gave me opportunities,” she joked. Well, you could tell it was supposed to be a joke but it wasn’t all there. “But don’t worry so much. Just one more period, then we can do the vote and put this behind us. It’s just a rumor, don’t let it get to you. Once it gets to you, that’s when people get suspicious.”

“Right, right.” You nodded, taking in Eliza’s words. “I know you’re good for this, but promise to keep this between us?”

“Of course. I’m not going to risk the chair of the committee getting removed,” Eliza told you. “Okay, so we need to get back to this assignment. I’d really rather not have homework over the weekend. Especially if we’re hanging out tonight.”

“Nice try. You’ll find out during the vote.”

**********

Third period passed without much fanfare, the talk with Eliza really helping to soothe your nerves. When you walked out of class, Laf was there waiting for you. “Are you ready?” he asked, reaching for your hand.

“I’m about as ready as I’m going to be,” you said. “I was talking to Eliza and she really helped calm me down. How long do you think the vote’s going to take?”

“The vote itself won’t take long, it never does. It’s just everything else that’s going to make class seem like forever,” Laf humored you. “You’ll still have to stay in class after we’re done voting.”

“Damn, you just ruined my plans to walk out of class after I casted my vote,” you joked. Once the two of you reached the classroom, you took a deep breath. Just one hour, then you’d be done with this damn vote. You’d be free until you had to do this again in January with the spring semester budget vote. When you thought to the next budget vote, you definitely knew what you wouldn’t be doing.

“(Y/n), can I speak to you?” Jefferson asked the second you walked into the room. You shot a nervous look at Laf before schooling your features into a calm facade.

“Of course,” you said, walking up to Jefferson. “May I ask what this is about?”

“James printed the waivers for you, so here are those,” Jefferson told you, handing you a few papers. “Now, I just wanted to ask if there’s any truth to the accusations Burr brought to me yesterday. We spoke more yesterday and he pointed out that your budget for the pep rally was raised when you were still undecided.”

“Thomas, I’m well aware of the allegations against me. I didn’t ask for anything out of the ordinary during this planning from you or Alexander, including those funds. If I were actually pushing for these favors as Burr is suggesting, I would not have conducted business as usual. You know how I go about planning pep rallies, this one was no different,” you explained, sure to hit the points Eliza had gone over with you earlier. “I’ll be glad to answer any questions, but I know I did not ask for special favors during this. I simply did not have my decision made, I was not scheming to manipulate you.”

“I just had to look into it, you know how it is,” Jefferson apologized without saying as much. “I looked over the pep rally documents, it sounds like it will be fun. I look forward to seeing this through.”

“Thank you, I wanted to do something big for my first rally,” you said with a nod. “I’m going back to my committee now.”

“Of course.” With that, you were dismissed to join Eliza and Peggy. The three of you shared idle chatter, joking about things to come over the weekend once the vote was over. There was the slight prodding about how you were going to vote, but you just teased that they’d find out soon enough. It didn’t take long for Washington to come in and call the class to attention. The agenda for the day was simple enough: pep rally updates from your committee, outreach updates from other committees, explanations from the groups for and against the budget (so just Alexander and Thomas arguing), and then the vote.

You got through the pep rally updates fairly quickly, explaining what got approved and the expected schedule for completing the preparations for the rally. Outreach efforts were coming in with low interest, but the hope was for the pep rally to change that. Finally, it got to the debate that almost no one really wanted to see, but Alexander and Thomas definitely wanted to have. With a reminder from Washington to remain civil and school-appropriate, the two were off. You didn’t really listen to the debate, it was all things you’d heard before in the passing jabs between the two of them.

Washington stopped them after about ten minutes, probably just annoyed with listening to the two of them again. Once he was finally able to get them to settle down - which definitely took a few more minutes - he turned to the rest of the class. “Okay, everyone, I hope those arguments answered any questions you may have had or helped you decide if you weren’t already sure of your vote. We’ll take a minute before proceeding with the vote.”

Bold of Washington to assume everyone hadn’t already been forced to make up their minds. There was little chatter, and you could definitely tell John was taking the time to try to calm Alexander down. As the break was getting closer to ending, you could feel the nerves starting up again. All you would have to do was raise your hand, but with everything that happened this week, that seemed like such a giant thing. “Alright, everyone, settle down. All in favor of the budget, raise your hand.”

Hands started going up around the class, and you could tell Alexander was watching you. You raised your hand. Once you’d read through the proposal, it had been a fairly easy decision. Alexander’s explanations for why funds were going to be allocated the way they were, despite taking ages to read, were thorough and made sense. The numbers added up, just as you’d expect them to. It just made sense, and forcing Alexander to make another proposal would just set the entire class back by at least another week. You could see Alexander immediately brighten up when he saw your hand go up, and you knew he had the vote. The budget was going to pass.

Madison noted down the votes, with the count confirmed by Washington. The ‘no’s were next, and everyone expected voted against the bill. Madison once again took note of the votes, and Washington confirmed. Alexander’s budget passed with two votes to spare, and you could see the slight annoyance from Jefferson. Class released a few minutes after the vote, and immediately you were surrounded by your friends. “Really? All that just to vote for the budget?” John asked.

“Alexander’s budgets are always well done, did you really think I’d disapprove?” you asked back.

“If you found something wrong, yes,” Eliza jumped in without any hesitation.

“I’m offended you’d think something would be wrong with my budget,” Alexander pouted. “I worked hard on it.”

“I know you did,” Eliza said with mock sympathy as she placed her hand of Alex’s arm. “Okay, so we’re hanging out at mine tonight then?”

“Did you ask mom?” Peggy asked.

“Yeah, I told her we might do something. Is everyone in?”

Lafayette turned to you expectantly; it was your call if the two of you went. He knew the week had been a long one, and he wanted to give you the chance to relax if you needed to. You smiled at Eliza. “Of course. I need to get my mind on something other than this damn budget.”

**********

Tag List: @snazzydoesthings, @bagpipes606, @a-hopeless-fan

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness

#lafayette x reader #lafayette imagine #hamilton imagine #reader insert

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codevassie · 4 years

Text

a heart he couldn’t control (destined to love and hate and damn forever) Part 4

CV: Thanks for your patience! I've been caught up in schoolwork, my other publishing fic, and my big bang lately. I work on this fic oftentimes when I need a break, so it might be slower, but it's fun. And thank you everyone, as always, for your comments and likes! You make me so happy to be writing this.

CW: Referenced Abuse

@winterwynd @escalatingtoofast @prox-xima

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Tracking magic had never been Virgil's forte–in fact, he was more the opposite; great at hiding magic–but finding who'd entered the forest was simple enough.

They'd wanted Virgil to find them, after all.

"You shouldn't be here," were Virgil's first words to him.

Patton stepped forward. "You were missing, Vee," he said, eyebrows furrowed but voice soft. "What was I supposed to do?"

"It's barely been a day. How'd you know I was even gone?"

"You underestimate a father's intuition." Patton stepped even closer, taking Virgil's hands in his. Virgil let him–the only person he'd probably ever allow to touch him so easily. "What happened?"

Virgil looked away, ashamed for some reason. Ashamed he couldn't fight her off? That he hadn't even tried? The witch still frightened him to hell, and now he was bound to her.

"She found me," he whispered. That was obvious enough. He was in the witch's forest, after all. Patton had known to look for him there–known only one thing could pull him away without a goodbye.

"But you got away?" Patton asked, voice hopeful. He was referring to Virgil's presence outside the caves. He shook his head.

Reluctantly, he retracted one of his arms and pulled up the sleeve. Patton gasped.

"I can't leave," he said, hiding the sigil once more. "Not this time, Pat."

Not this time.

-/-

"Another intruder," Dee sighed, entering the room. "It's like they're not afraid of the witch anymore."

But Virgil had already jumped up, grabbing his cloak. "I'll get it!" he exclaimed. Dee and Remus both looked at him, shocked. Virgil recognized his mistake. "Um…"

"You always wanna get out of the caves, don't you?" Remus said, flicking a rune stone at his head. Virgil ducked. "Wish I could go out."

Virgil felt guilty suddenly, remembering the sigil on Remus' arm. While Virgil ran through the forest, Remus was stuck in here. The furthest out he could go was the lip of the caves, where he often joined Virgil in stargazing.

While Virgil dreamed of getting away, Remus was stuck in the knowledge he never would.

Suddenly, Virgil didn't feel all that great about going.

"Well, you already called it, Virgil," Dee drawled. He no doubt wanted to see how his aging potion was doing.

And Virgil did still want to go out.

He looked towards Remus, who had lounged back onto his bed, throwing more stones at the ceiling. He glanced Virgil's way.

"Tell me if you find anything cool when you get back," he suggested. Virgil was so grateful.

"You mean something gross."

"Same thing."

Still, Virgil's guilt didn't dissipate. Especially when he thought about what waited for him out there.

Or who.

"Patton," he greeted, once he'd tracked the intruder. The boy turned around, smiling a wide, tooth-gapped grin his way. The forest was always so dark, but it felt like Patton brought the light.

"Anxiety!" Patton greeted. Virgil's smile tugged awkwardly, remembering he still hadn't given the boy his real name.

It wasn't like he could hurt him at all if he knew it, but Virgil had never trusted anyone outside his family before. It had taken a long time to trust Remus after he'd joined their bunch, and Patton was an intruder. Someone there to steal, or hurt, or bargain their soul with the witch.

Virgil knew now that wasn't Patton at all. Patton was like him, like everyone in his family. But he wasn't trapped in some forest. He lived among other people, had a job and friends.

Even with his magic.

"How are you doing?" Patton asked.

Virgil shrugged. "Alright. Same as ever, I guess."

Patton's lips stretched a bit to make up for the dip in his smile. As subtle as it was, Virgil noticed it. Over the past couple months, Virgil had really come to know Patton well.

"Have things-" Patton said disjointedly, like trying the words out in his mouth, "Been… alright?"

"Yeah, I guess," Virgil said, nibbling at his lip. "You might be coming around too often, though. Dee commented on the increase in people coming in."

"Oh," Patton said, sounding disappointed. He perked right back up though, like he was allergic to negative emotions. "I had a question I wanted to ask, though."

"Really?" Virgil said, trying not to be too anxious about that. No casual question ever came after declaring the intent to question first. "Shoot," he said, trying to keep his voice level.

Patton toyed with the strings of his cloak, only a beat to contemplate before he blurted it out.

"Do you want to leave the witch's caves?"

-/-

Patton was quiet. Virgil was afraid to look up, see the crush of hope on his face. Nothing could be done. Patton hated feeling helpless, especially when it was others who needed help.

"Maybe I could spell it off?" he said, but there was no confidence in that answer. Virgil shook his head.

"Only she can remove it."

"We don't know until we try," Patton tried again, voice growing stronger. "Maybe I could. Maybe with just a little determination, strength- maybe if we both-"

"Pat," Virgil said, finally looking up. Patton looked on the verge of tears. His words died on his tongue. All Virgil could do was shake his head.

"We got you out," Patton choked out.

Virgil reached to him, unable to stand it anymore. Patton jumped into his arms, and Virgil held him tight. "I know," he whispered, eyes blinking rapidly, trained on some trees behind them. "But maybe I was never supposed to."

Patton pulled away, an angry look on his face. Virgil gawked at the expression, remembering only a few times before he'd ever seen it.

"There isn't supposed to. There is what you want. She has no right to trap you! She has no right to control your life!" Patton knelt down, picking a basket off the forest floor that Virgil hadn't noticed before. "And I'm going to show her that."

"What?" Virgil said, moving into Patton's way as he tried to go past. "What do you mean? You can't think you can actually go against her."

"Well, I'm not going to just leave you."

Virgil shook his head. Vigorously. "No. No. Your magic is strong, but, Pat, hers is so much stronger. She's a witch. She's trained for this all her life, under people who study it religiously."

"Then what do I do?" Patton exclaimed. "I can't do nothing."

"Yes. Yes, you can," Virgil said. "You have to."

Patton's eyes were misting up again. He shook his head, either to get rid of the tears or disagree. Maybe both. "No- No-"

"Patton, please," Virgil said, struggling to maintain eye contact. Because he had to get this through Patton's head. He had to know Patton wouldn't go after him.

This was the end of the road for them.

"I'll be fine," he said.

Patton looked at him, devastated. "I don't believe you."

"Thank you for everything," Virgil said. If Patton wasn't going to believe him, he might as well tell him some truths now. Something he could believe in. "I'd never had a friend before you, but I don’t think I could have had one better."

His brothers were his friends, sometimes. But never before had he had anyone who stuck around because they wanted to, that seemed happy to see him and told him stories and helped him out all because they liked him–not from obligation or family trust.

Once upon a time, he'd had that kind of bond with Dee and Remus. Not friends, but family–strong in a different way. Once upon a time, he would have done anything for them.

If put to the test, he still just might.

"You're the best friend I've ever had, kiddo," Patton said. "But don't you dare think this is goodbye."

Oh, Patton. Always so optimistic.

"Okay," was all he said.

"I'm serious," Patton said. "I'll figure out a different way to get you out."

Virgil turned, facing away from his friend now. Whatever his expression was, it'd be bad news for Patton to see. "You need to get out of her forest."

Don't come back, was the unspoken message behind it.

Patton came up next to him. Virgil refused to look, but he spoke anyway.

"Don't give up hope."

Then, with a snap of his fingers, Patton was gone in a cloud of blue smoke.

-/-

Virgil couldn’t do tricks like that. He’d always wanted to, since being able to disappear at a moment’s notice was perfect for escapes, but Virgil had never gotten the hang of it. Most of his magic came from panic, fear. Wanting to get away from a place was only half the battle with that kind of magic.

To transport, one had to envision where they’re going in their mind. You’d have to remember tiny details, like the smell of the air or the number of trees around. Patton, being naturally gifted as he was, had told Virgil once that he was able to match his emotions with certain places, focusing on that as a tether to bring him from place to place. Virgil had tried that too, but it was difficult to distinguish between his emotions in his head. He had a lot of them–he was sure of that. But he couldn’t sort them, couldn’t put names, much less places, to them.

That’s why protection charms and invisibility magic were his strong suit. They relied on intuition. Not understanding the feel of magic inside you or how it works around you. Virgil reached for it when he needed it, no thought or talent necessary. Just a pull and reaction.

Virgil had never really been good at magic–a great source of frustration for the dragon witch and an even greater source of fear for him when he’d been under her instruction. She’d tried to teach him out of books, but he just didn’t get it. She’d had him attempt all sorts of magicks–potions and charms and curses–explosion, impersonation, augury, sigils, herbs, poisons. She threw him out into the forest, locked him into dark tunnels of the caves, set him after intruders, all with the intent that he would learn something, be the student she had wanted.

He could pick up tricks, and he’d learned more than his fair share of spells, but Virgil was never great. Dee had always been the one who worked hard, did well. Maybe he wasn’t a natural like Patton, though Virgil had never met anyone as naturally akin to magic as the man, but Dee worked harder than any other. Compound it all into years and Virgil was sure Dee must have surpassed him by leaps and bounds.

That was all to say, Virgil had to go back on foot, and, despite having roamed these forests for all of his adolescent life, he was having some trouble finding his way.

“I blame repression,’ he mumbled to himself as he came across another of the witch’s sigils. It was etched in a starkly different pattern to the one on his arm, but it still made his lungs knot in all sorts of funny ways. Virgil hovered his hand over one, purple hue glowing complimentary to the light of dusk, and his mind was thrown into the right direction.

He stumbled throughout the forest all morning, trying to find his way back. He wouldn’t be surprised to see Dee looking for him soon, probably at the instruction of the witch who might have thought he’d escaped. Dee would know Virgil had gotten lost. That’s probably something he didn’t miss–being Virgil’s constant babysitter.

As the sun poked through the trees, barely breaching the thick foliage above, Virgil ran up to another sigil, getting impatient at the time this was all taking. The witch would use this as an excuse to make his first lessons horrible–or more horrible as they would have been. She had to have been looking forward to punishing Virgil for his escape.

Escape. Virgil sighed thinking of it. He had told Patton no–a definite no, no buts about it. It was impossible with this sigil. Virgil had ran away before, knowing she wouldn’t let him go, knowing she would find him again one day, and he’d pay the price. Virgil had known this was all that was coming for him.

Someone like him. Virgil was bound to this, of course. How could he have thought he could have anything more?

Magic was illegal, and he belonged to the dragon witch. Was there anywhere else Virgil could have ended up?

Still, he thought of it–thought of escaping once more–of going faraway, further away, so she wouldn’t find him this time. Maybe somewhere magic didn’t exist–or curses that led her right to him.

Could Virgil really give up this easily?

He was holding his hand to the new tree when he heard it. A gasp from behind him. He whipped around, cloak billowing slightly behind his back and smacking against the tree. Virgil brought his hands around, still glowing, to face the stranger.

“Who’s there?” he dared to ask, voice coming out gruff and defensive. There should have been no one else in the woods. The witch had only mentioned one intruder, and that had been Patton. Who else would have been stupid enough to enter the witch’s land on an early morning like this?

There was another gasp from one of the trees, a sliver of motion poked out from behind it. Virgil lifted his hands a fraction higher, nerves crawling into his throat. His magic might not have been the best, but he could still cause a bit of damage. Whoever this was wouldn’t get away with anything there.

But the figure spoke one word, taking him aback.

“Virgil?”

It was Virgil’s turn to gasp. His hands glowed brighter against his will, feeding on his adrenaline, as he once more called, “Who’s. There.” His voice sounded a bit strangled, but it was strong and demanding too. Virgil was never one to go down without a fight.

Until recently. Until a witch had grasped his wrist and transported him back to the caves, and he’d gone, without a kick or a punch.

Slowly, the person stepped out from behind the trees, a tall, straight-shouldered figure with their hands up, cloak hiding the rest of their features and face. While they remained in the shadows, standing confident, relaxed, Virgil had been caught in the light, shoulders scrunched and eyes peering fiercely from behind his hair.

Silence stretched between them as they remained facing one another, neither moving, neither speaking. Virgil held onto his magic, drawing from it the sick comfort he had learned to wield throughout his life. The other stayed undefended–a clear display of where the power between them laid–before stepping forward. Virgil’s breath went in just slightly, but he didn’t move.

And, as they moved into the light, it was his eyes Virgil recognized first.

It would have been impossible to tell in the midmorning fog, but Virgil knew them already–mossy green, both confident and self conscious, alive and unconfined. They’d always been so warm in his library’s light, despite his teasing attitude. The only time Virgil had ever technically seen him elsewhere had been at the construction site, and in the midday sun, they’d glowed–not with magic, as Patton’s often did, but with life and excitement, danger and adventure.

Virgil had never longed for danger like that. All his life he’d dreamed of freedom and life outside the caves, but it wasn’t until he’d met Roman that stepping out of Patton’s protection, the safety of his library’s walls, the known feelings and experiences he could clutch in the bindings of a book–not until Roman had any of it felt… attainable.

Virgil had taken risks in his life. Escape was his greatest risk. But there was the risk of having magic in the kingdom, the risk of leaving everything he had ever known for a stranger in the woods, the risk of saying goodbye to old family and making new friends.

The day he had met Patton, his risks had begun.

The day he had met Roman, they didn’t feel like risks anymore.

And, no, it wasn’t love at first sight. No, the risks were still there, and Virgil was very afraid of them. He was afraid of everything–the dark, change, his own magic, talking to people, facing his past. But the day he had met Roman…

Roman was an idiot. He’d been prince a shorter time than Virgil had lived there–so new to it all and inexperienced. He was clueless, truly.

But he was idealistic. He was ambitious. He was brave and strong, and he had a heart of gold.

He had all the power he could have in that little kingdom, and yet he wanted to protect his citizens.

That had confused Virgil.

The witch had never wanted to protect. She claimed to, but it wasn’t right. Every day she’d say she was keeping them from jail, from execution, all because of who they were. Then she hurt them, screamed at them, sent them into the forest alone, locked them into small spaces, burned sigils into their arms to ensure they would never leave.

Power meant corruption. It meant taking what you want, and it meant people listening to you, or else. But Roman didn’t do that.

Roman actually… wanted to protect.

Protection. It was one of his strong suits, but only in the moment. Only, really, for himself.

Virgil had always wanted to be better at protection magicks. What would it have been like, if he were ever strong enough to protect the ones he loves?

He’d never helped Dee or Remus. Never helped Patton. Definitely never Roman.

They’d protected him. All his life.

Virgil sighed, lifting his head a fraction to get a better look. He didn’t push back his hair, letting it maintain a barrier–protection. Always protecting himself.

“I should have guessed you’d come looking,” Virgil said, trying to sound aloof. He couldn’t believe he would have overlooked this. Roman was always one to dash off into danger headfirst, no thoughts about it. Even if it hadn’t been Roman’s fault, even if Roman didn’t… didn’t love Virgil or whatever, he still would have come looking to help anyone in need of it.

Roman gave him a little smile, one that Virgil found himself latching onto like a lifeline. He didn’t quite know why. Maybe it was because that smile reminded him of the kingdom, of their town and his library. Virgil had been gone for a day, but he missed it all so much.

It felt much longer. Perhaps because he had accepted it.

It was easier when it all felt faraway, like a life he had never known. Less painful to give it all up.

But maybe it was something else. Virgil couldn’t imagine what, but it felt like he was missing something. The reassurance in Roman’s smile–it felt like something beyond home and safety.

Perhaps noticing Virgil had relaxed, Roman reached up to pull down his hood, his face illuminated in the dim light. He stepped forward as Virgil lowered his arms. In that motion, Virgil noticed something all too familiar about the man’s form.

“That’s-” he cut himself off, unsure if he was seeing things right. But there was really no denying it. He raised a hand again, this time not glowing purple but pointing. “That’s my cloak.”

“What?” Roman asked, face alighting in surprise as he looked down to where Virgil gestured. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Virgil asked. “How the heck did you get that? It should have been in my rooms above the library.”

“Patton gave me it,” Roman said. “I guess I know why it didn’t really fit him.”

“Patton had it?” he asked, but it made a lot of sense. A lot more sense than Roman randomly taking it. “Of course he did. He would have needed it for the forest.”

“Yeah, he was really insistent that I take it. I traded my cloak with him, though, so he won’t be cold,” Roman reassured and… okay, Virgil tried really hard not to be charmed by it. They were in the middle of the witch’s forest, he said Patton acted weird enough trying to get him to take the cloak, but he was worried about Patton catching a cold?

“Of course Patton would want you to take it.” Virgil nodded, focusing on what he could handle at the moment. “The cloak has magic. All those patches on it? They’re woven with protection charms under one purpose: hide the wearer from the dragon witch. It’s the reason I could hide from her for so long. Any time I left the library–which is also covered with a shit ton of protection magic, mind you–I wore it.”

“That’s why it’s familiar,” Roman said, looking down at the fabric. “You were wearing it that day at the construction site.”

“Yep,” Virgil said, popping the p. “It’s good you have it. You need to stay hidden from her at least until you get out of here. It was smart Patton gave it to you. At least he had a better way out.”

“A way out?” Roman asked, tilting his head. “Wait, he was here?”

“He was,” Virgil agreed. “I sent him back. Just like I’m about to do with you, unless you want to end up in a witch’s stew.”

“What? I’m not leaving you here!” Roman rejected, sounding indignant at the very notion. Virgil sighed, an uncomfortable heat spreading throughout his body. This had been expected but, still…

“So now you’re concerned about me?” he asked.

Roman’s eyes went wide, and his mouth flapped a bit like a fish. Virgil scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You made a deal with my life, Princey,” Virgil said, spitting the nickname out harsher than he’d ever before. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Roman was only saving his brother, saving himself when he’d made that deal. The witch would have killed them both for Roman’s intrusion. Those who entered the forest may make it out alive, but not those who found the cave.

“I- I didn’t-” Roman stuttered. Virgil could hear how flimsy an excuse it was bound to be. Roman was a good man. He knew he couldn’t defend a thing like this. He would have already thought this was his fault.

Virgil didn’t like the feeling in his chest. It wanted to forgive Roman, wanted to stand by him even if they were watching the world burn under them. He knew Roman would never let a thing like that happen under his watch, but it was the sentiment of it.

Virgil would. That’s all that would matter.

“What? You didn’t know it’d be me?” Virgil asked. “You thought you wouldn’t care about the person you, what, fell in love with? You thought you could just give them up and not care, just as long as you had your kingdom and your brother and your life.”

“Virgil-”

God, would Roman stop calling him that? He was used to the nicknames, the light jabs–not this. Not a Roman who was scared. Not a Roman who came back for him. Not a Roman who was in love with him.

“The witch probably didn’t even cast love magic on you. You know that, right?” Virgil carried on, turning his head away. He couldn’t stand to keep looking at Roman. “Just because she says you are, doesn’t mean you are, okay? So you don’t have to come rescue me or whatever. You don’t have to go out of your way because I’m suddenly some damsel or something. The witch rigged it and now-”

“Virgil.”

Virgil stopped and found himself listening. Because, damn it, something in him wouldn’t obey his own head–something suddenly wanted to hear Roman. That same frightening something that wanted to stand by him, that wanted him out of there so bad that he was willing to say anything.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m in love with you or not,” Roman said, and his voice carried over the words easily, like loving was easy, like loving Virgil was easy. “It doesn’t matter. I know it’s my fault you’re in this mess, and I’m going to get you out of it. On my honor.”

Virgil shook his head, mouth scrunching in his bitterness. His eyes were uncomfortably hot. “This isn’t your battle anymore. I don’t need your help. It’s not your responsibility either. You got Remus out. If any of us could, then it had to have been him. That place wasn’t good for him.”

“It doesn’t change that it wasn’t my choice to make,” Roman said. “I shouldn’t have traded your life. It’s wrong.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.”

“You can’t change it,” Virgil insisted.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t try,” Roman said back, arguing and heated, before he took a deep breath and calmed again. “So come with me.” He held out a hand. Virgil looked at it.

“I can’t,” he said, voice coming out too soft, too… defeated. “I belong to her now.”

Roman took a step closer, drawing further out of the shadows. It was funny seeing him in the darkness, when he was so full of light. Virgil, against his own better judgement, found his own feet moving forward as well and they stood where the darkness met the light.

“You’re shaking,” Roman noted. Virgil already knew he was right. He had never been great at hiding his nerves.

“She’s going to catch you here,” Virgil said by way of explanation. He couldn’t protect Roman–not when he belonged to her. There wasn’t much Virgil could do anymore.

“I’m going to get you out,” Roman said again. Insistent, like Patton. Virgil had trouble believing either of them. He found himself winding his hand through Roman’s anyway. Roman looked down at it, then back to Virgil’s eyes, searching.

Searching… for what?

“Please go,” Virgil whispered, pleading with his eyes. If Roman was searching for something, Virgil would give him something to find.

Holding eyes for a moment longer, something passed over Roman, and he looked down.

“Then I will,” he breathed.

Virgil felt himself breathe too–far more relieved than Roman’s. That was, until Roman’s hand slipped from his.

He watched it go, like a leaf in the wind, slipping through his fingers like water. It made something in Virgil stop.

Virgil took a staggering step back, and, when he looked up, Roman was watching him go. He wasn’t stopping him.

Virgil turned to leave, heart hurting something deep and new, something he didn’t understand. He stepped forward now, walking past Roman and into the shade of the trees behind him. Before he could go, however, Roman spoke up one last time.

“This doesn’t mean I’m giving up, Virgil.”

Virgil stopped, but he didn’t look back. He closed his eyes for a moment. Evened his breath.

Then, he walked into the trees, determined that this was goodbye.

It wasn’t until Virgil was lost again, searching for another of the witch’s sigils, that he understood what hurt most about it.

That thing that had stopped in him when Roman had let go–like Virgil was holding his breath, and he couldn’t release it until he saw him again–like the world was on standby.

Virgil didn’t need a curse to understand.

But that’s okay. He didn’t want it anyway.

-/-

Dee had been sitting at his desk for an exceedingly long time. The afternoon previous, the witch had gone out, instructing him to take his studies into his own hands for the day. Over the years since they'd lost both Virgil and Remus, she had been placing a lot of trust in him with his education.

And less trust with him and the outside world.

Dee had no interest in the world outside of those caves, so it didn't bother him when she barred travels into the towns and eventually even outside her own forest. She still used him to root out intruders, to collect herbs and stones from the boulder garden, but outside of necessity, the caves were all he knew.

So studying magic was what he did. Day in. Day out. Where before spells were under her supervision, Dee was free to learn. Where books were held in fear, Dee had stacks upon stacks of them. As long as it was for magic.

When Virgil had arrived, Dee had been sitting in place for hours already, head buried in an old tome and hands wrapped around a small flask. It was an attentive recipe–focus crucial to its success. Dee had to continuously swish the mixture when he added in something new or risk the magic going flat and fizzling out.

It had been ruined, of course, when Virgil stumbled his way in. And even when he went to bed soon after their little argument, it was impossible for Dee to focus.

He sat up all night, trying to fix the concoction, only for his eyes to continuously dart to the huddled figure on the other side of the room.

Dee still hadn't slept when Virgil got back from patrol. His back was killing him, and his eyes were strained to hell. He couldn't muster an ounce of focus.

This potion was a dud.

"You haven't moved, have you?" Virgil asked. Dee didn't remove his eyes from the flask. "You won't be able to do it until you've gotten some rest, you know."

He still didn't answer back. Dee wasn't sure what it was–pride, anger, fear–but the silent treatment still seemed like an excellent way to deal with the matter.

Virgil had left. He didn't really care. And he didn't get a say in what Dee may or may not do.

He wasn't stupid. Of course he wouldn't be able to focus–not without sleep, not with Virgil looking over his shoulder, not now that he could think of nothing else but Virgil's betrayal and sudden reappearance.

Self care didn't always mean relaxing. Sometimes self care was giving your ex-almost-brother the cold shoulder until you gleaned some sick satisfaction off of his hurt.

And then subsequently felt guilty that he was hurt. Because, damn it, he still cared for Virgil, as inconvenient as that was.

So, yes, silent treatment. Virgil wasn't off the hook so easily, and Dee didn't like admitting he was hurting. He'd just take lashing out as his own little therapy and deal with his pesky abandonment issues at another date.

Or maybe he would realize Virgil wasn't still trying to talk to him.

Dee's eyes bore holes into his desk, waiting for Virgil to ask him something more, to complain about his obvious silent treatment, to get frustrated with him. Virgil didn't give up that easily. He didn't get hurt at the get-go, and, even if he did, he'd hide it with his normal grouchiness.

But he stayed silent right back.

Something sunk into Dee's gut, and he suddenly found himself reeling, clutching the table in front of him for support, despite already being sat down. Because Virgil wasn't acting the same. He wasn't doing as Dee had predicted.

Because it had been years and maybe… Virgil had changed.

Dee could usually keep his cool. He was level-headed in situations like Virgil and Remus never had. He was an observer and a denier. A data-collector and ill will ignorer. Dee could avoid a shrewd gaze with the ease of an oblivious man and the eyes of a scrutinizing one.

He could not dismiss his urge to look now. Dee couldn't feel the narrowed gaze that should have been there or the thick tension at ignoring Virgil's advice. In fact, the room seemed to lack any presence at all.

So he looked. Just to make sure Virgil hadn't left. He could have gone to the lip of the cave like he'd always done, and the witch hated that. Dee had never been above dragging his ass back.

He looked, expecting to find an empty room.

He didn't foresee Virgil once more curled up on his bed.

There he was: huddled under his cloak, which he hadn't bothered to put away. His face was hidden. His shoulders were in. Dee had seen Virgil in various stages of fear, in different shades of happiness and sadness and anger. But there was something new there, and it left Virgil vulnerable.

Vulnerability was dangerous around the witch. Virgil knew that, and it was probably the reason Dee had never seen him quite like this.

It reminded him of Remus–there in the next bed over once upon a time. On days where his eyes were empty and he would forget things. It wasn't the same, but there was something hauntingly similar between the two.

Virgil didn't give up on arguments. He didn't leave Dee to fry himself out after an all-nighter studying. Virgil didn't look like this–tired and empty and hopeless.

Dee turned himself back around to his desk and stared blankly at the book propped up in front of him.

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t the Virgil that would sneak off to the lip of the cave to look at the stars. It was the Remus trapped here, unable to see the sun most days, mind growing further from them, from the memory of a brother that would one day come to rescue him–a brother who hadn’t given up like Dee had thought.

Had Virgil changed so much in the outside world?

Or was it the caves’ doing all along?

#sanders sides #prinxiety #virgil sanders #ts anxiety #roman sanders #ts creativity #ts #writing updates #ahhcc #tw referenced abuse

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666whatsyourvanishing · 5 years

Note

Omg the "last words au"ask ahh right in the feels qwq but still hella beautiful written how do you do this ahahah catch me crying in the corner :^D well done dear author 🙇‍♂️💙but question could we get it this time with mc last words at the ro👀? Only if you want of course and if you have time :D (i hope you dont have too much stress)anyway have a beautiful day 💙😁🙇‍♂️

Omg thats one of the nicest asks I’ve gotten. I love writing snippets so I’m really glad you enjoyed them (and crying is the appropriate reaction, I almost did too ;-;). My only problem with writing snippets is that with this amount of ROs I have to keep it short which is a tough task as a writer. So I’m sorry if the answer is not the appropriate length that you were expecting (mind you I wrote this before I actually wrote the snippets, and let me tell you, they ARE long). I will, however, do my best! And I wish you a beautiful day as well, have a stress free day ❤️

------------------

The shot was right below your stomach, and you felt this stinging feeling before feeling heavy. Almost like you stepped into hot water, you felt like drowning. The tiding was rising, and soon you met the floor, your body too numb to feel the impact of the fall. Your vision turned blurry but you could see a figure stood over you, so close that you could feel their warmth despite the fire inside you. You had trouble breathing but you reached out, not fully understanding how one could feel their own blood leave their body.

Caiden: Caiden was screaming your name way before you hit the floor. You were in their arms before you knew it; despite the pain in your abdomen, you felt nice, comfortable. “MC...” Caiden sobbed.

You thought that maybe you would be the one crying, but your brain is losing blood, and you can barely even conjure any emotion besides a slow decrease of panic and pain. Caiden cradles you, and you hear more footsteps, then a few hands examining you, those aren’t Caiden’s. Forcing your eyes to move, you look around you... paramedics? Doctors? Not that they would be able to save you at this rate, you know what dying feels like.

“MC, look at me.” Caiden suggests, and your eyes move to their face. Seeing the worry in their eyes makes you feel weird and angry, but you have no energy for that. “I’m worried... No, that’s- Look. Doctors, the ambulance. Everything’s okay.”

You whimper very weakly, not a cry per say, but a breath laced with the fleeting life that’s leaving you. “I wish... I could fight harder. Just for you Caiden, but it’s too late to try now.”

“No, no. You can still fight.” Caiden pleads, slightly pulling you up closer to them. You never knew Caiden had such strength. They laugh shortly and anxiously. “You’re a fighter, you’re stubborn.”

You nod, eyes drooping. Your body is turning cold now. The irony of it really, death is weird like that. Your lose sense in your legs and soon your fingertips too, there’s an ache in your heart, or maybe your lungs. You can’t tell the difference anymore. It’s finally coming to you that this is it. Will there be a heaven like promised? Will there only be darkness? Will you cease to exist? It’s scary not knowing- no, it’s scary leaving Caiden. You won’t be able to tell them about it.

You laugh for the last time, but it’s a rasp, the last breath. “I’ll see you Caiden, take your time.”

And as you die in their arms, those spoken words form on their wrist.

You would cry with Caiden if you could muster, but all that’s left is the heavy cold weight of the body you leave behind.

Jade: You’re drowning, in more ways than one. Your ears are ringing and you can barely hear Jade scream at you. You just know that whatever they’re saying goes from a shout to a whisper. With their arms around you, you feel their hair tickle your forehead, and their voice comes to you like an idea in a dream.

“Hey...” Your eyes move, as if they had been frozen. You finally see Jade right in front of you. And when I say in front of you, I mean directly in your face. They’re a breath away, and you’re looking at each other as if you were miles apart. They smile sadly when they get your focus, but you see their emerald eyes getting glassy.

You cough a bit, trying to reply, your throat feels scratchy, as if the air in it is getting corrupted. It feels metallic in your tongue, your lungs burning from the inside out. But you smile back at them and croak, “Hey.”

Jade gulps and blinks, tears finally falling from their face into your own, everywhere they touch it feels cold, or maybe it’s just your own body getting hot. Despite what they would call ‘a shameful display of weakness’, they frown, really like they’re about to cry.

“You’re still breathing. The ambulance is coming.” They mutter, voice breaking despite the confidence in their words. “You’re okay.”

“Am I? I feel weird.” You answer. Jade is cradling your face, and they smooth out their own tears in your face as they hear you speak.

“How do you feel?”

“Like this body isn’t mine. Like I’m watching from the ground, but I don’t know where I am.” You explain and it feels true. Jade nods, but you’re unsure if they’re agreeing with you or just listening. “You can see me right?”

Jade chuckles surprised, it’s sad and weak. “Of course I do.” They caress your cheek again but this time you don’t feel it, you just see their hand move from the corner of your eye. It’s starting to come to you that you can’t feel anything.

As you understand this, your vision grows smaller, there’s black spots everywhere. The corners are closing in and you feel like you’re being buried. You sigh, tired. This is it. You feel numb, like a stone in the earth. It’s getting darker but you can still see Jade look at you, begging with their eyes. You breathe out, one last time before you go. “I see you too.”

Those very words engrave themselves on Jade’s wrist, and they glance at it briefly, gasping once they realize what just happened. Jade cries really hard this time, you don’t know for how long since you fade away, like falling asleep. But this time it’s forever.

Bo: Bo had managed to grab you before you touched the floor, so maybe that’s why you didn’t feel the impact. Their hands were warm, but everything felt warm and then hot, were they even touching you to begin with. You feel the ground, and like an anchor, your body attaches itself to it. Every limb of your body feels heavy and it takes strength for you to be able to grasp blindly for Bo.

They luckily, grab your hand before you find them. Your breathing quickens as you glance at them. “Bo, bo, what happened?” You ask, despite knowing what happened. You feel it in your abdomen, it feels like a frostbite, it’s too cold or hot you don’t know the difference, it just burns. Bo’s grip on you is tighter, and their eyes are wild.

“You got shot.” They explain, breathless. “But the doctors are here, and they’ll take care of you.”

“Will you be here?”

“I won’t leave you.” Bo’s answer is quick, like a reflex. You’re still holding hands with them, but as your hold lossens, theirs is the only thing keeping you afloat. You feel your heart no longer in your chest, it’s beating slowly all over your body, you feel it... but you don’t feel anything else.

Bo is staring at you attentively, they look like they want to say something, but they’re distracted watching you. You would laugh if you could, but words are starting to be hard to speak. If only they could focus like this in anything else. You gasp, your lungs pressured. Almost as if you’re being crushed by the air itself, the ground becoming somewhat translucent, like you could fall through.

They furrow their eyebrows, frowning at you, before glancing around. “Hey, c’mon! Where’s the ambulance?” Bo shouts at someone. The sound isn’t coming from their body, or their direction necessarily, it’s ringing in your head along with your heartbeat; both are growing slower. You feel their eyes on you again, you can’t see them as well anymore, your vision is turning darker... or your eyes are shutting. “MC, just stay with me. Look at me, I’m right here.”

You nod, or at least you think you do. But then again... you can’t move. You can’t feel anything, you can’t see or hear properly anymore. Any second now, and you’ll be gone. Were you fighting for nothing? Were you really expecting to survive this?

“MC please.” Bo’s voice cracks.

You give you last breath to them. “I’m with you.” Those words echo on Bo’s wrist, and that’s all that’s left of you. It was them all along... and now, they watch you die. You feel like smiling, but you descend into darkness instead.

Tori: Tori is cursing as far as you can tell, it’s a long string of curses but they’re not directed at you. You grasp around, almost crawling around the ground, but despite the pain, Tori stops you. “Wait, don’t.” They hold your shoulders. “You’re bleeding too much.”

You sit up, biting down your lip as you actually feel your organs moving. It’s a weird detachment feeling... is it even your body? Tori pulls you closer to them, resting your body against them on the ground. You’re now warm all over, probably because you’re sitting in between Tori’s legs, but also because you feel your lungs burning. “Tori...” You whimper. They simply wrap their arms around you, moving hair out of your face. You didn’t realize you were sweating until now.

“Just breathe, calm down.” Tori breathes out for you. They seem calmer than you expected - turning your head to glance at them, you breathe out with them. You feel calmer, less panicked, and the pain subsides significantly. You let yourself fall back on them and they welcome you by carefully putting their hands where you bleed. You don’t feel their hands there, but by their grimace, you think it’s pretty nasty.

“The ambulance is coming, so you just have to sit tight.” They tell confidently. You nod to yourself, body slowly limping and heart beating slower, less rapid. “Hey.” Tori calls you.

“Hm.” You hum.

“This is the first time I actually hugged you.” Tori chuckles and you laugh too. “I hoped it would be under better circumstances.”

“If I knew you were this good at hugging, I would’ve asked sooner.”

“Let’s strike a deal. When you’re out of the hospital, I’ll give you as many hugs as you’d like.”

“That doesn’t sound like you...” You say, now struggling to speak. It’s like you’re losing air, drowning maybe. “But you promise?”

“Yeah. I promise.” Tori mutters, their voice is sounding garbled, fuzzy. You suddenly realize you don’t fully understand where you are, you don’t feel them behind you, you don’t feel the pain anymore. The sounds around you are all mixing together into one single ringing sound.

You groan. “Tori...” Your voice is going, just like the life slipping in between every breath. “I think this is our last hug.”

“No, don’t say that.” Tori exclaims, the familiar anger creeping through. “We’ll have more chances.”

“No Tori...” You take a deep breath, ragged and suffering. Your eyes close and you accept it. You’re glad you got to be this close to Tori at the last second, but your body is giving in and you can’t do anything about it. You wish you could live longer, got to know Tori better. “Hug me tight when I go.”

“MC, you’re not going anywhere!” Tori seemingly shakes you. “MC-” They glance at you, but you’re no longer breathing. Taking their hands off you for a second, their hands trembling and soaked in your blood, they stare at their wrist. Your last words are engraved there.

They do hug you tight, tighter than they ever will anyone. You were theirs, even if it was just for a second. They didn’t want to lose you like this...

Jay: Jay grabs you, and suddenly you feel like you were just born. “MC no...” Jay sobs in shock. You cling to them in desperation and the next thing you know, you’re sitting in their lap on the ground, head resting on their shoulder and their arms clumsily around you. “MC, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

“God, it hurts.” You try not to cry along, but your face is too numb to obey you. Tears streak down your cheeks and it feels hot. Everything feels like it’s burning. Jay is there at least, and they’re holding you, changing pressure from gentle to tight and then gentle again. “Jay, is it really bad?”

“No- I mean, it’ll be fine! The police, the ambulances are coming. Oh noo...” They whisper the last part. “Deep breaths, deep breaths.” You’re not sure anymore if they’re talking to themselves or to you.

“Jay.” You call them weakly. You voice is breaking, air is leaving you every time you speak. Lungs feeling weightless and body losing sense, you stare at Jay. They’re not paying attention, taking very deep breaths blurring into hyperventilating. “Jay.” You try again.

“I don’t want to lose you, I really don’t want you to die or anything like that- What am I saying, you’re going to be okay. The hospital... you’ll go to the hospital, and you’ll be okay. They’ll fix you right-”

“Jay!” Finally, they glance at you, as if truly seeing you for the first time. They apologize with their look but they stutter one along the way. “I’m still okay.” You mutter and they hesitate to move their hands anywhere else in case they change that.

They nod. “You’re okay.”

“Yes, I’m okay.” You both take a deep breath. You’re not sure how many of those you have left, but you smile at each other, enjoying the peace that follows. That is until you realize you can’t really move. You can’t breathe anymore, you can’t hear or see properly, everything seemingly fuzzy. You feel cold and heavy, not real.

Jay is calm, so you don’t alert them on the fact that this is it. You are not okay. You are not going to survive this. You hate what that will do to Jay, they won’t be able to take it, they’ll break down crying. God, you’re going to be the reason they won’t sleep at night. Gently, you try to catch Jay's attention. Your voice is too broken, and you can’t breathe anymore, so whatever you say, comes out like choking.

They stare at you in shock, fear, eyes wide. “No-”

“Jay, please. Don’t... be sad.” You croak out. “Imagine my smile instead.” Your last breath, that was it. You can’t say anymore. Jay panics, breaking into sobbing again and halting once they catch something on their wrist. Your advice is written there.

Jay cries so much. But you’re not there to see it, you know it, and you hope it won’t be a familiar sight. You don’t want this to be the only thing Jay remembers of you.

Jun: As soon as you touch the ground, Jun is on you. It’s a strange feeling, panic rises in you, pain, fear, and the wild comfort of having someone worry about you. You hear them say something to a person somewhere, but you don’t quite catch it. Your senses are foggy, and you reach to touch where it hurts. Your hands come back bloody and sticky.

Jun moves your head to rest on their lap, it’s soft and light, but the rest of your body seems like it’s an endless act of falling. You turn to them and they stare back at you. It’s tender as far as you understand it, but it’s fleeting. “MC, can you hear me?”

You nod.

“Can you see me?”

You nod again.

Jun takes a deep breath and says something once again to the distance. You hear the word “dying” but your sense of self in somewhere else. Your legs give out and you feel incapable of moving anything below your waist. Jun’s head turns back to you and their translucent hands fall on each side of your face. “Take a deep breath with me.” Their chest rises and fall along with yours. Everytime you breathe, your lungs burn, similarly to a balloon, they seem to get weightless as you follow Jun’s instructions. “How does it feel?”

“Like I can’t breathe.” You answer and Jun’s shoulders rise in concern. “Jun, am I going to be okay?”

“Of course darling.” Jun says gently, using a pet name to reassure you. It does, which is no surprise. But your tension is still high by the way their hands tremble.

You shift your head a bit to nudge their hand closest to you. Still staring at them, they hum back, understanding but disappointed they couldn’t hide it better. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.” They mutter, using that hand to caress your cheek. You lean into the touch. It’s cold compared to the rest of your body. Everything else is like it’s on fire. You feel sick, like you just woke up and really want to go back to sleep. But staring at Jun stops you from ever closing your eyes. “Do you remember that time where you were so lost in your own world that when I nudged you to call for you, you nearly toppled the whole couch?” They laugh, the sound light despite the world turning darker.

You chuckle. “Yeah. You really scared me.”

“It wasn’t my intention...” Jun hums, their head tilting, voice getting softer. They move a hair out of your face. “You always did say my hands were cold.” You would agree with that statement, but you realize that you can’t feel their hands anymore. You can’t move, you can barely breathe. You blink and frown, tears forming in your eyes.

Jun looks surprised. “Oh no no MC, why are you crying?” They lean closer and clean the tears as they fall along your cheeks.

“I think I’m dying.” You choke out, voice raspy from the difficulty of breathing. “Jun, I’m scared.”

“Hey hey.” They call you, their voice shifting a bit as well. You’re not sure if it’s your hearing failing you or their voice breaking. “I won’t let you. Just keep looking at me.” You think they’re smiling.

You cry again despite the safety in their words. You’re losing yourself, you’re eyes are becoming foggy and dark, you can’t see them. “Jun... I miss your cold hands.”

“They’re still here darling.” They reply, grasping your face kindly. You sob one last time and go. Your body heavy, your eyes open, your cheeks cold. “MC?” Jun calls you, searching your dead eyes for any sign of life. There isn’t any. On their wrist, in the same water that spills from their eyes, your words are there, like magic. They never stop holding you.

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Wow this was long, also. I cried. Might I tell you, I love writing about how something that I never experienced might feel. Writing what it would be like to die is kind of therapeutical, morbid too. Anyways, hope you like it!

#tvp #the vanished project #cog #choice of games #wip

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alternativewinxcontinuity · 5 years

Note

will the winx alt. con. keep with canon relationships? cuz sky and bloom could be a dope couple with good writing, and aISHA AND NABU OHMYGOD-

TLDR:

Yes and No?Stella/Brandon are basically the same, while Sky/Bloom and Aisha|Layla/Nabu|Ophir are getting a little bit of a more obvious over haul they will still be A Thing.

Tecna/Timmy, Flora/Helia and Musa/Riven are... less so, like, if they happen as a romance thing, it will be a long time coming, or less obvious.

Mirta/Lucy& Palladium/Avalon are also A Thing, but more background than any of the others.

So in terms of ships in the Canon show: they are a mess. On the surface they seem plausible, maybe even okay, but the longer you look at them, the worse the relationships get. I've tried to keep the basics, but change certain circumstances so things are less... bad foundation-wise

Bitching and Alt Con spoiler alerts below the cut.

Stella/BrandonBloom/Sky (feat. Diaspro)Aisha/Nabu|Layla/Ophir (feat. Roy (&Nex))Tecna/TimmyFlora/HeliaMusa/Riven (feat. Darcy)Mirta/LucyDaphne/ThorenPalladium/Avalon

Final heads up, I'm about to say a lot of sh*t, and none of you have to agree, we all interpret things differently, I'm the kind of person who pulls things apart and finds the smallest speck of 'rot' and grows it in a mental Petri dish to see how awful things could be... that is a terrible analogy, but long-and-short-of-it: my opinions may be based on worst case scenario analysis, rather than any analysis you may use, and I am not saying you should not ship things, by all means, ship all the things.

I apologise for the high levels of in-coherency and absolute aggro.

Stella/Brandon

On the surface, this ship is changing perhaps the least because they're a “pretty stable” couple, unfortunately, they also began their relationship with a lie and that was never fully addressed in Canon. I tried to combat that by having Brandon and Stella 'test the waters' so to speak, with Brandon asking early on if Stella thought she'd still like him even if he wasn't a prince, and Stella later mentioning to Bloom that yeah, she would.

I say “pretty stable” because they don't break up every other episode, but their relationship is kind of... on the opposite end of the problem spectrum, like: “I'd jump off a cliff with no knowledge of what was below and no safety harness or ability to fly for you,” they've displayed a concerning level of co-dependency.

I tempered that a bit in the Alt Con, mostly be removing the situation where that (jumping off the cliff) happened, because it was the result of characters being sudden!dumb! But I also feel like, whatever universe, they'd be the kind of couple who'd get through rocky points in their relationship because they'd try to make it work because they are connected.

Canon treats them a little weirdly, because they are (excuse my language) psychotically-in-love, despite both being established as generally flirty people, but it only once really put the jealousy thing into play, in season 4 when the writers tried to make us take Mitzy as a 'serious villain' by turning her into Stella&Brandon's 'Diaspro problem'.

Alt Con Stella&Brandon are more reasonable, but are still very much 'our eyes met and something clicked' kinds of in love, but they definitely put work into a stable foundation, and were able to weather the SkyBrandon reveal with only a small wobble and some breathing space.

Bloom/Sky (feat. Diaspro) aka: the Drama Llama ship.

I think this one is changing the most, of the three main ships that are 'staying'. Alt Con Bloom&Sky didn't actually start dating until late in season 2, and are being very cautious with their relationship.

Unlike Canon Sky, Alt Con Sky was hesitant to begin a relationship when he knew he would have to end it, and knowing it would be a douche-bag move. Likewise, Bloom's Canon displayed empathic ability came into play, warning her that Sky was hiding something from her, and making her hesitant to even try dating while that was looming between them.

The biggest change with the Bloom/Sky dynamic is that it didn't start under falsehoods, and Diaspro was treated with the respect she deserved, rather than an unwanted crazy ex (even before she was the ex).

Canon Sky was a cheater, pure and simple, we've (probably all) talked the matter to death over the years, and there's no interpretation where what he did and didn't do, was okay. But it also explains his later douchey behaviour: people who cheat are more likely to suspect others of cheating.

Canon Sky has always been quick to jealousy, see season 2's full on stalking bullshit, and of course the thing with the FrEaKinG unicorn.

And of course, since he did start his relationship with Bloom as a cheater, Bloom knows he has a history of cheating, and cheaters don't typically 'find the right person and change their ways forever'. Sorry, but they don't, which explains why Bloom is so ready to believe Diaspro is succeeding in stealing Sky back, whether she actually is or not.

Canon Bloom/Sky have no trust foundation, like zero, none, maybe even negative trust foundation.

Fixing that was simple: I didn't let them get together while there were lies to be had.

Now, love her, hate her, pity her, Diaspro is a huge part of the Canon relationship, so I do have to talk about her.

Canon treats her like an increasingly manic instant drama dispenser, and I think we're all sick to death of it, not just because Diaspro has become more and more difficult to sympathise with, but because we're sick of the Bloom/Sky (relationship-status: “Yoyo's would be dizzy by now”) continuity.

But she's a princess, which means she should be more politically aware than what she is in Canon, she's marrying in to The Royal Family of Eraklyon. Sky's already there, he's set, he is the 'scheduled in in pen' Future King of Eraklyon, he ain't got to do shit.

Diaspro does. She has to be liked by the current king and the people, even if not her future husband, her marriage is a job.

So Alt Con Diaspro gets to do 'diplomacy' first, she gets to make first contact with the Winx, rather than being randomly attacked by a crazy ass fairy and being humiliated in public.

But this also means that Bloom wasn't humiliated in public, because Alt Con Diaspro was tactful in revealing the truth about the SkyBrandon switch. (Because the switch wasn't actually life or death protection.)

That whole first meeting in Canon was disaster from the word go, and put such a taint on the relationship that it's season 8, and the writers are apparently still trying to beat that dead horse.

The main thing that stops Bloom/Sky from moving past their beginning in Canon, is that they just don't communicate. They run into the slightest problem and suddenly they're breaking up and they stop trusting each other and its the end of the world and boohoo, blah blah woof woof.

They get back together as a matter of course, like its on a freaking check list for the writers to tick off, but they never really deal with what happened. It's all: Inciting incident, zero to sixty in three point five break up, way too long stealing the B plot's screen time being pouty and childish, 'oh we were wrong and are back together now without dealing with the actual problem because there wasn't one we're just dumb.'

Starting them off with knowing that they have an attraction to one another, but listening to a combination of common sense/basic decency and intuition so they wait until they're at a place where they can be honest and upfront about what needs to be spoken about, rather than having them run head first into what is nothing more than a revolving door of relationship drama was important for the Alt Con, because ain't nobody got time for that shit anymore. (Have you seen the new time line, it's condensed AF.)

The Alt Con also does something else I always wanted to see: addresses the fact that Bloom is now in a position to marry into a Royal Family.

Alt Con Bloom/Sky is a lot more tentative than Canon, they started of on a better foot, without that lie and cheating between them, but they're going into the relationship knowing that if they work, and they feel like there's a good chance they will, Bloom will have to assume the role of Queen Consort of Eraklyon one day, she's not just dating Sky, she's dating his family and his Planet which means they have to take it slower and more seriously.

Spoiler alert for season 3 of the Alt Con: the love potion is still happening, the set up of the relationship though means there's less 'why doesn't he love me anymore' and more 'Diaspro was (not totally fine with it but) prepared to accept the change, this isn't like her,' and 'Sky and I were okay last time we talked, he wouldn't do this without telling me, something is wrong here.' (Diaspro is not a psycho b*tch/Mark of Valtor theory coming well into play here.)

Aisha/Nabu|Layla/Ophir (feat. Roy (& Nex))

So in Canon, Nabu and Aisha first met when Nabu just randomly up and stalked Aisha through Magix on her day off after their engagement was announced. And because apparently princesses can't date first boyfriends who don't lie about their identity, Nabu introduced himself as 'Ophir'.

Look, I get that he was shy and embarrassed or something? But what the genuine frick-frack?!

The writers have apparently never had romantic relationships before because that trend was really friggen messed up. Like... none of the relationships in Winx Club are what I'd call ideal and healthy, all of them have some aspect of 'oh god run!' to them, but Aisha got the short end of a ratty stick.

So Canon timeline (allegedly): Middle of third year, Aisha's home world is under attack and she can't do more than she's already done. Trying to take a mental health day with her girls, and this rando dude up and stalks her, then, because she's a decent person, she chooses stalker's life over the Magical Dimension (Agador Box), and it turns out, this random ass stalker has lied about his identity and stalked her because he's the fiance she never wanted.

And yes, they do eventually end up falling in love and choosing one another... right before he fricken dies less than a year later.

So you know, Aisha does her 'vengeance is me' spree, which was awesome but designed to put her in a bad light, let's be real.

And then: nothing, an extra heaping of man hate because Aisha is an angry-girl, but no one really addressed her grief after the fact, like you don't just wake up and get over the death of someone that close, and yes, I know that people do move on, but we never saw her moving on, she calmed down after an episode of revenge and then she was 'all good' bar the aggro-tude. She spent season 5 and 6 angry at everything male, then suddenly she was dating Nex and... I'm sorry, I do block a lot of the later seasons out, but I genuinely do not remember them getting together, they just suddenly were after a season of Nex being an asshole with an almost redemption scene when he saved Roy, who mysteriously vanished, despite sticking around post his job-arc in season 6, but I guess that was for drama.

I don't really care for Nex, but that's a complex and layered issue that is only partly about shipping, and only partly about the fact that he was an absolute asshole who almost killed Roy during training basically on purpose, even if I didn't particularly like Roy, I don't hate Nex either.

Aisha has had all the boys thrown at her, and it was annoying, because she never needed one, she sure as sh*t didn't need a second and a third who inexplicably 'won her hand' or whatever the hell happened there.

I would have been fine if Aisha had stayed single after Nabu, like, just because people do move on, doesn't mean she has to date again.

So, Alt Con, Nex and... urgh, 'Thoren' are persona non grata, because let's be honest, they were introduced for shipping purposes and Daphne/Thoren was the stupidest thing to ever be shipped in Magix, I apologise if you like the ship, I don't mean to start a war, but it felt like it was so forced and it came out of even less than nowhere than Aisha/Nex.

Also Daphne isn't returning to life in the Alt Con, sorry, spoiler.

But Nabu isn't dying either. (I thought about it, but it was a stupid drama grab, so it's been chucked and set on fire. I did have an idea of a plot line for the closure, involving Nex as the son of a Valkyne who'd left Waltevy, and him taking Aisha to say a proper goodbye to Nabu, and freaking waiting for her to be ready to date again and just being a decent friggen person... but, yeah, nah.)

Salvaging Roy, even in Canon is actually pretty easy: Roy volunteered for the duty of driving Aisha around because he was actually good friends with Nabu, they went to school together before Roy joined the royal guard (or whatever), and while they never got the chance to meet while Nabu was alive, Roy wanted to get the chance to meet the young woman who stole Nabu's heart, the young woman who loved Nabu like he did. (yes, Roy is gay now.)

Boom! Roy: kept, forced attempt at shipping: gone, call back to that one dead character everyone loved in a way that could lead to closure: available.

(So yeah, Roy is also gay for his bestie in the Alt Con, but also understands that Nabu will never feel the same, and puts their friendship above his romantic interest... he might get someone one day...)

With the Alt Con, there are places where I want to run parallels, and the Aisha/Nabu|Ophir meeting is one of them, but also not.

Again, season 3 spoilers apply: Aisha will be meeting Nabu under the name Ophir, but it's not for 'nefarious purposes of deception' like Canon, it's just a misunderstanding no one cleared up until too late. Part of (Alt Con) Androsian culture is something called a 'Sidhe name', something that an Active magic user takes on when they achieve a certain level or status. Nabu's Sidhe name is Ophir, which he uses for important or official situations, like during the siege of Andros.

Ophir and Roy are showing up early on to take part in the defence of Andros, and to fight along side the Winx, not as love interests, but just as two guys who were available, who are capable and who are helping out.

'Ophir' and Aisha get along pretty well during the events, and Aisha's parents, having been quietly worried about finding someone who would be a good match for their 'not as courtly as she could be' daughter, reach out to Nabu's folks to see if he's in a relationship, and all parents get a little ahead of themselves which leads to the surprise engagement, which leads to Nabu tracking Aisha down to apologise and see if it is something she'd like to pursue or if they need to sit their parents down for a talk, which leads to the reveal, 'Ophir isn't my birth name, sorry, surprise I'm your fiance' moment, which is no longer a 'surprise your chosen-for-you future-husband is a rando stalker' event.

And because the parents went off the pre-existing mutual attraction rather than just up and picking a dude, it's less stupid when they get together anyway.

(I'm sorry but, Canon Aisha did not want to get hitched to some random guy, but he ended up being her first love? Urgh, maybe I'm just too jaded, but it just always hit me as a 'if you stick it out long enough you'll learn to love him, settle now to be happy later' message. I am so happy they did find love and happiness together, as brief as it was, but... come on not all arranged relationships end well...)

(And yes, Aisha will be taking Layla as her Sidhe name, because it is such A Thing within the fandom, I had to find a place to throw it in.)

Tecna/Timmy

Look, this ship is not a bad ship, I think I just don't like it because I liked that there was a romantic relationship that wasn't... standard hallmark romance or whatever. People aren't all the same, friendships and romantic relationships look different on different people, and I enjoyed that Tecna and Timmy were a... “bromance” style romance, that they knew what they had, and it was enough even if it didn't look like the other couples' relationships. If we had to have their relationship take up screen time, I would have preferred it wasn't a forced dinner date.

They were so uncomfortable, but as that damn subliminal message likes to tell us: 'normal dating is correct dating, your love is wrong, so in the end, their friends forcing them to do something they didn't want to do, and meddling in their relationship was “the right thing all along”'.

>:(

No, none of that in the Alt Con.

Tecna/Timmy is a lot slower in the Alt Con, because their friends are more respectful of their different emotional needs. Tecna is learning how to express herself in ways others can more easily see and recognise, but the Winx are also learning to read how Tecna expresses herself normally (for her).

Timmy is a capable leader, but also a bit introverted, while he can take charge, he's more of a team tactician, gathering the data and making it understandable.

Their relationship in the Alt Con is romantic, but it won't take up much 'screen' time, and it won't necessarily 'look' romantic.

Tecna and Timmy of the Alt Con are... shared spaces, quietly working on their own projects while in the same room, sharing tools as they work, they're technobabble too fast for anyone else to keep up, they're leaps in logic that only the other seems to follow in full, they're hooking pinky fingers together when they stand close.

They're slow and methodical and contented and they know where they are together, and they communicate well, even if they don't communicate like Brandon and Stella who do it loudly and with giant gestures and exaggerated facial expression, or Bloom and Sky who sit and hold hands and sometimes struggle to word things trying to make sure they're understood by the other because they're a little afraid.

Tecna and Timmy clicked quietly one piece of a puzzle at a time, and they know they don't do things like everyone else, but their way works for them, and that's what's important.

Flora/Helia

Look, I'mma be honest: this ship kinda irks me a little. It felt like Aisha showed up so Flora had to start the romantic process, because a maximum of 1 Winx may be single at a time. Again: this is not a bad ship, it just felt forced. (Like in Sailor Moon Crystal, how just because Serenity and Endymion were dating, their friendship group/generals/guards had to be exactly matched and dating each other too. This is not just my K/Z|M/Z shipper heart being bitter, it just always feels weird to me when this happens, like just because Juliet and Romeo had a thing, doesn't mean the Capulets and Montagues had to start dating one another... bad analogy let's move on.)

At this point, I have no plans for Flora and Helia to be A Thing in the Alt Con, but if it feels like there could be some natural development, I won't rule it out. Helia will still be around, he and Flora just won't be auto matched.

...I fell a little bad I don't have more to say about this ship... I guess... as 'blah' as I feel about them, even I think season 7 did them dirty?

Musa/Riven (feat. Darcy)

Ah yes, the other ship we probably all have strong 'fix it or end it forever' feelings for.

We as a fandom have talked this one over as well, we all know that no matter how passionate it was, the writers just could not let them get to a healthy place and stay there.

Any time it looked like these two dorks were going to be okay, and move past their rocky beginnings: NOPE! Misunderstanding because Riven is a 'Bad Boy' and Musa has abandonment issues which makes it hard for her to trust him... or something???

… honestly it's a little tricky to pin down exact reasoning with these two, because again, I don't think the writers have ever been anywhere near a healthy and supportive long term relationship, and they need to prolong the 'she can fix him if she just holds on' token relationship.

Because realistically that's what this one is, the ship that tells young girls that they can fix 'bad boys' if they just stick it out, that boys like that can be or want to be fixed and 'good boyfriends are prizes you get for fixing shitty ones'. It could have been so much more than that.

The problem is there was never any space where Musa wasn't 'in crush' with Riven or in a relationship with him, and there was only a few times when Riven got to not be an asshole, all of which were typically wipe away for status quo reasons within a few episodes.

So the starting point for these two (versus relationships) in the Alt Con, is Darcy. You all remember when Riven and Darcy dated in the first season, but it was so she could use him as a maybe spy? But she might have liked him for reals? But she totes dumped him like a sack of crap once he was no longer useful and once he did his redemption act, no one ever brought it up again?

I'm not the only one who remembers that right?

So Alt Con Darcy/Riven were actually in love, they met and clicked and it sizzled, and Darcy regretted having to choose between Riven and her sisters, to the point where she helped Riven escape, even though it ended up leading to her own downfall.

And Riven was genuinely in love with Darcy, even into season 2 and 3 he's still in love with her, but he's also trying to get over her, because she's a bad person who tried to rule/destroy the universe.

He had a shitty childhood, he has reasons (not excuses) for being the way he is, and being jealous of Sky's leadership position, but (and this is the important part) Riven knows he's kind of an asshole, and he knows he's not the nicest guy, and the one who wants to make Riven not an asshole, is Riven.

(Reasons: This is why I did the thing. | Excuses: This is why you should let me get way with it.)

Riven is relying on his friends, and yes on Musa too, to help him become a better person, but he's not leaving it all to them, they aren't forcibly shoving him down the road to redemption, Riven is taking responsibility and trying to be better for himself.

Fixing him is not Musa's job, she's just a friend who's supporting another friend on his road to self improvement.

That's not to say that Musa has only platonic friendship feels for Riven, oh no, she thirsts for that capable warrior man, but she also knows that he's kind of an asshole, and a pretty face is not enough to make a shitty attitude worth it.

Though she still occasionally checks him out, (because she has eyes, she can look,) Musa has set aside romantic ideas for the time being, and after season 1 the two settled into a bumpy but solid friendship.

If Musa/Riven do become A Thing, it will be far down the road after a long term friendship, once Riven has gotten to a place where he feels both okay with who he is as a person, and that he has moved on from Darcy and can share his heart with a new person the way they deserve (rather than forever being second string to his first girlfriend) ((and because they grew together while they were growing as people, not her getting a reward for waiting it out)).

(Yes I do understand she wasn't some blameless victim in an abusive relationship as this rant may have seemed to indicate, these two were both to blame for their poor communication and hang ups, but mostly because the writers were ass hats. This show is designed for young girls, every message in it is first intended for young girls, though they can be shared with anyone, and because my brain: what's the scariest maessage that can be taken from this fiasco of a relationship? ^that shit^)

Mirta/Lucy

It was Canon, and I'll hear nothing to the contrary, but holy shit did Lucy keep running back to the Trix and treating Mirta like crap.

I am giving them a little more screen time, and an ongoing background arc, so I let them talk it out.

Alt Con Mirta and Lucy are in 'denial' (they just shy) about being 'together' as of the end of season 2, but they've moved past their fears of being abandoned by one another just because their lives and magics have taken them down different roads.

They'll finish figuring their shit out eventually.

Daphne/Thoren

… no, none of this. Just... just no, thank you. She's staying 'dead' and he doesn't exist.

Palladium/Avalon

So in Canon, Palladium had a crush on who he thought was Avalon, but was actually a monster in disguise. This was never addressed, nor was any trauma Avalon may have suffered during his imprisonment, or the fact that people at Alfea would have acted like they knew him, when they didn't and that would have been confusing until he got to know them all.

This was a ship in it's infancy that never got to be, because it was based on even more of a lie than Bloom/Sky, Stella/Brandon, Aisha/Nabu in Canon.

The Canon of this ship was straight up (ha, pun) queer baiting, let's be real, so Alt Con switched a few key details.

1: Avalon was possessed by a demonic sleeper agent rather than an entire fake!Avalon, so the relationship actually happened, and didn't get retconned last minute.

2: The students ship it

3: Avalon feels like shit about being possessed, but he and Palladium are working through it together

End Note:

I personally feel like the two biggest problems facing the relationships in the Winx Club was the absolute lack of communication between people allegedly in relationships, and the writer's need for Status Quo Drama.

(Status Quo Drama: things that happen to create drama and are never truly solved in a satisfactory manner despite being 'resolved' by the end of the arc in a way that leaves all characters right back where they started while pretending their was some kind of progression.)

#Winx #winx club #Winx Alternative Continuity #Winx Alt Con #winx ships #shipping rant #I APOLOGISE FOR EVERYTHING #ranting about shipping #i’m just bitching now #I got an Ask!#Asking Alternix

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bulletdove · 5 years

Note

if u could change anything about aoaf what would u change?

AAAA this is such a good ask, thank you, i spent Way Too Fucking Long on this

(disclaimer: i don’t exactly support RPF, but i think it’s fine to consume it critically. it’s part of fandom, whether we like it or not. and fandom is an area of academic interest for me, so... you can’t understand something without researching it. yeehaw.)

so here’s AOAF: the extended cut. ideally part of a critical edition, because i have academic aspirations.

AOAF stands on its own really well as original fiction, because it didn’t get into heavy speculation and based itself off of “what if”. but the plot was more emotionally loaded than the characters were, i think? (so as far as RPF goes, it’s not that scandalous or ethically dubious.). extended cut would be an Original Fiction type of deal, the same basis as the original one but taking the characters in a different direction and obviously renaming them

the ship plot was good, but that’s extremely Fic (which is a draw of the genre, but also seriously limits the development of non-romantic relationships) so that’d be changed. more family interactions in the present that aren’t for the sole purpose of advancing the ghostf*cking plot, flashbacks to frank and his mom and frank and ray and frank and dewees. other friends hanging out, getting to know mikey. (i need to do a reread, but ray and bob and co. weren’t really that memorable...)

higher stakes. the kidnapping scene fell flat because you knew nothing was going to happen, mikey couldn’t die because he’s mikey, all that stuff. higher stakes for the dead character, too - i need to do a reread, but plausible risk of permadeath would help intensify things.

mikey subplot is of utmost importance. barely anybody who writes RPF seems to know what to do with him as a “character” - since his public persona is/was awkward, super quiet, but still super well-liked? and nobody really wants to figure out the why and how for a minor character, since he always ends up being a minor character - but i’d like some in-depth exploration. bringing out the parallels and differences between him and frank, the dead kid and the maybe-dying kid (assuming heightened stakes), and having them hang out more, is something i’d really like.

i’d have mikey and frank be friends, but also butt heads a lot and rub each other the wrong way - mikey’s a kid and he’s terrified of dying, doesn’t want his mom and gerard and his friends back home to go on without him, wants to explore this freaky town that feels like it’s breathing down his neck [it’s creepy, but he has a good feeling about it], wants to get the chance to be a kid again but also doesn’t want to die before he has the chance to grow up, and keeps having these freaky dreams about a marching band dressed in black. frank has (mostly) made his peace with being dead, thinks his family and friends have moved on without him and been pretty okay, wanted to get the fuck out and grow up but not sell out (gay punk rights), and he knows everything about this shithole and hates that it kind of feels like home. he’s a perpetual kid who knows he can’t grow up until he leaves; mikey’s too grown up already but he’s younger and moodier and both more and less at peace with life and death. they have a lot in common, but they can seriously butt heads.

i’d give mikey a heightened awareness of the supernatural, more mobility (definitely an ill-advised wander through the woods or three), and have him and frank have weird effects on each other.

i liked the sense of weird-hazy-small town that exists out of time, and not wanting to be there but also not really being able to leave (in different ways - frank’s literally trapped, the ways are just waiting and don’t know how long they’ll be stuck there, and their estimates keep changing.) deliberately developing that by having the teenage characters thinking about college and stuff or mrs. way thinking about plans for when they move away again and finding that those plans don’t feel pressing, that they might end up there forever, and maybe that might be liveable? (there’s definitely something wrong with that town, and it’s not just frank) good shit, more emotional depth, frank freaks out but they don’t know he’s a ghost at that point and don’t get it, fuck yeah

a more complicated plotline. more subplots. i think bringing in a different mystery than frank would make it more of a traditionally Literary work, and bring out unexplored dimensions in the characters and the worldbuilding. this time maybe it’d be donna? things around town are pretty strange, the police department is definitely corrupt, her kids keep vanishing in and out of the woods and not telling her the whole truth, gothic etc etc. haven’t thought that part out very much, tbh.

more character depth and development for gerard - AOAF would be the perfect time for him, a depressed kid with a sick brother and dead ghostfriend, to get really fucked up about life and death and his relationship to them, and stop feeling like an early death is some kind of romantic inevitability and realize oh god he really doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want mikey to die it’s not fair, frank being a ghost is cool on the surface but really it’s just awful, and is it really fair for him to be dreaming about his plans for after he graduates when frank is trapped here forever, and mikey might be too? (could bring this in in the kidnapping bit, idk. and some late-night chats with donna.)

more explanation of Why Frank Is The Way He Is. more flashbacks, more backstory, more insight into how he has seriously mixed feelings about his undeath and is trying to be okay with being trapped in the woods forever but really fucking isn’t but also feels like him and the water washing over his bones run at the same frequency - it’s part of him, but he wants more. more detail about that part.

ray and frank interactions. frank looking in on ray’s family, years later.

frank exploring more of the town than the woods - he has to have stood at the edge of the woods and stared as far as he could, he must have been curious, he must have wanted to know what was going on. he gets out of the woods, runs around town, is proud of it for changing and getting kinda-sorta-better? in parts? but hates it for moving on without him.

better ghost mechanics - i really disliked how it felt so easy and handwaved. blegh. the tree-phone was cute tho... (frank would gain mobility in degrees, not all at once, i think. and there would be side effects. more thought needed.)

the epilogue/sequel/whatever was cute, i wouldn’t change that except to make gerard’s eventual successful career a bit more ambiguous - and maybe mikey would die instead of your suggestion of gerard dying, i think that could work maybe. might be between the main plot and the epilogue, though.

showing more of frank’s unlife, and more of the other ghosts - absolute must. mikey spends a weekend at home, sneaks out, sees a dog in the woods that isn’t there, dreams about guitar lessons.

i swear there was other stuff that i talked about with you but i don’t remember... i didn’t mean to make this a whole Manifesto but i’m trying to get everything in in detail sfdklkfsdl rip

slower development of the romance plot, slower realization that frank is a ghost (but less over-the-top oblivious gerard), more developed main and side characters, more side characters (this story was a dudefest! where are the girls.), making the ending feel less contrived (all of their friends are suddenly there, and everything is okay? it needed a more drawn-out conclusion)

this wasn’t supposed to be this long, or take this much time >.

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idonthavehusbandsihavelovers · 5 years

Text

Love Wasn’t in the Plan - Part 12 (Sweet Pea/OC)

Riverdale AU

Chapter Summary – Angel knew this was coming but how does she make Sweet Pea believe he’s the only one for her.

Pairing – Sweet Pea / OC

Warning – Swearing, Angst & Fluff.

Author Notes – Again this story is a little different from the show storyline so that I could fit my character in, I want to thank you for your likes, comments, and re-blogs they mean the world to me and help me keep writing. (sorry if this chapter seems shorter but that because of the next few chapters will be full pack.)

Part 12 Preview , Masterlist

Chapter 12 – How do we make it right?

They had been sitting in his trailer for an hour neither making a sound. Angel didn’t know what to say, how to make Sweet Pea feel better and more secure in their relationship, she understood this was all new to him. Being in a committed relationship and Sweets was an all or nothing guy, it was one of the things she loved most about him. So she decided to bite the bullet and get the ball rolling on probably one of the most important conversations in their relationship so far.

“Sweets please talk to me, I know it seems like sometimes I can read your mind but I can’t. You need to communicate with me.”

He lets out a sigh and turns to look at her; the look he gives her almost makes her cry. Angel has never seen such sadness in his eyes before; he looked so vulnerable which make her more cautious, as she knows better than anyone that Sweet Pea doesn’t like feeling weak.

“I don’t know where to start Princess, I’m as conflicted as you are with this whole situation.”

Angel sits there quietly, she wants Sweet to have his say, to get it all off his chest, the thought and feelings he been having since she been back, about them and also regarding her past with Jughead. She understands it complicated for him, he might not like Jughead sometime but he’s a serpent and the younger serpent’s leader, they stick together no matter what.

“You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved, the first girl I can see a future with, someone who sees the best in me, even when I don’t. Who doesn’t judge me and where I’ve come from but hard sometimes realizing I’m not your first and the boy who was, matches you better than I ever can. A boy you share a history with, who showed you what it was to love. Like you showed me.”

Sweet turn away from her, hold back his tears. “How can I compete with that?”

Angel knelt down beside him; gradually place her hand on his face, which he unconsciously leaned into, she turns him to look at her in the eyes. “You can’t Sweet Pea because he will always be my first love and if I could go back and change history falling in love with Jughead wouldn’t be something I’ll change.”

Angel take a deep breath and carry on, “I wouldn’t change it because it leads me to you, yes Jughead with always be my first love but you’re my serpent boy, you’re my soul and can’t lose you.”

She pulls him closer being more cautious than she’s ever been with Sweets, slowly leaning into a kiss, Angel was determined to prove to him in every way that he was the one she wants. After a few minutes he finally caves and gives into her kiss, Sweet Pea was weak for Angel. That was the problem so he was unwavering in his mission to show her what she meant to him. He bends down to place his arm under her bum to left her up and carry her to his, no their bedroom.

He gently places her on the bed, leaning back to look at her. Sweets slowly traced her face with his fingers; he still couldn’t believe someone so perfect wanted someone like him. Angel saw the doubt in his eyes so she chose to take matters into her own hand, hooking her leg around his waist, she flips them over. She smiles down at him tracing circles into his chest.

“Stop thinking Serpent boy, for once let go and just feel. Trust me and let me show you what you mean to me.” It, not their usual fast, hard and rough routine, they go slower tonight. Every touch, every kiss and every thrust of their hips, silently screaming “trust me”, “love me”, “I’m yours be mine” and that how it went on for the rest of the night and into early hours of the next morning, till they fell asleep curled up into each other arms.

A few days later –

The last few days have been hell and the tension in the town was at boiling point, with both the adult and children. Too much is going on and they know it will only take a little push to for everthing to come tumbling down but they pull together for Angels and Toni show knowing how important it was for them.

Angel was sitting on her own in Pops, trying to calm her nervous for tonight’s show and how to keep her and Sweet Pea together, even after their talk and night together Sweet was still sensitive about Angel and Jughead relationship but he would never ask her to stop talking to Jug because he knew how important he was to her. That didn’t stop him from sulking when they spend any time together or throw Jug evil look if he got to close.

Angel sighs and throws her head back against the back of the booth.

“That was a big sigh little one, what on your mind sweetness?”

Angel smiles lean forward and look at FP sitting in front of her, smirking at her, she shrugs.

“Where to start, I’m always nervous about a show hoping it will go well and that people like my pictures.”

“Of course it going to go brilliant and people would be stupid not to love your picture, you’re extremely talented.” She raises an eyebrow at his praise but doesn’t comment, she knows better than that and carries on.

“There’s the fact my dad is running for Mayor against Mrs. Lodge which has caused a lot of tension in my house between my parents and Archie with him being so far up Mr lodges ass he can’t see that he’s a bad guy. Than there your son and my boyfriend who makes my life even more complicated then I need at the moment.”

FP laughs but she give him a look and he stops, “Sorry little one, that is a lot I can’t help you with your family I know you Andrews and no matter what you guy will get through this no matter what.” Angel smiles and he carries on “Sweet Pea and Jughead, on the other hand, I can try to help as having feeling’s for two people is something I understand.”

Angel raise an eyebrow at him, FP shakes his head and she hesitates but decides to lets it go, one of the things she seems to have in common with FP is when he doesn’t want to talk about something he won’t no matter how much you nag.

“Ok, I let that little information go for now but I still don’t have feels for Jughead.”

It was FP turn to raise an eyebrow at her, “Angel you love Sweet Pea anyone with eyes can see that you both adore each other it kind of sickening. With that being said you will always have feelings for Jughead, I’m not being Bias because he’s my son but tell me when he told you that he loved you back, how did you feel?”

Angel bite her lip not really wanting to answer, “FP, I don’t know...”

“Come on Angel this stay between us, I’m just trying to help.”

She sighs “I don’t know a part of me was confused, another part was happy since my love wasn’t unrequited, a little upset because of what could have been had we’d been honest sooner and then guilt because no matter what I always love Sweet Pea more and I shouldn’t be thinking what could have been with Jughead.”

FP nods along with her and sighs “It ok to love two people, you don’t love Jughead for the same reason you love Sweet Pea. Jug is your past he’s your innocent, the girl we use to know before New York.” Angel nods along, “you never get over your first especially when you didn’t get a chance to actually see what you could have been together, and they’re yours forever if only? It’s something both Sweets and you have to learn to deal with and try to move forward together. It won’t be easy but you and Sweets are the long haul and I believe no matter what you will make it work. Angel, you need to be patients with the boy, Sweet has never known real love other from his friends, until you walk into his life and showed him, he was worth more than what this town believe he does. He scared he will lose you, that one day you will wake up and suddenly realize he not worth the effort and he’ll be left alone again.” Angel goes to argue that she would never but FP holds up his hand to stop her so he can finish.

“I know Little One you would never, but Sweet Pea is a teenage boy he just needs time to process this situation be patient and you’ll get through it.”

He stretches over and places a hand on her face, which she leans into and smiles at him, “Thank you FP, I love you.”

He smiles, let’s go of her face and get up to leave “I love you too Sweatiness, I see you later.” As Angel watches him go she leans back and processes what information FP has laid on her.

A few hours later.

Angel had just finished getting ready for the Show; she was wearing a backless green dress because green was Sweet Pea favorite color, she was excited for tonight, she had talked to Toni before to go over where everything would be in the studio, what picture they both chose as their main piece and for a surprise Angel want to do the next day as token to show Sweet Pea, that she not going anywhere.

She gives herself one less look over and makes her way downstairs, he smiles grow when she sees both her dad and brother looking handsome in their suits, the turn, and stares at her.

Fred walks over to get her hand, which she gladly took, once she was at the bottom he takes a step back to give her a proper once over, Angel giggles “How do I look.” Fred gives her a wide grin “Like you always look, like a princess.” She beams at him and gives him a peck on the cheek.

“Thank you, Daddy. You both are looking rather dapper yourselves.”

Archie laughs and goes to open the door, “Come on we better go, we don’t want to be late.” Fred offers Angel his arm which she gladly took. “I think tonight is going to one of those nights we never forget.”

She smiles not knowing, unfortunately, how true her father words really where because tonight was going to be a night no one in Riverdale will ever forget.

Part 13 Coming Soon

Tag list - @lukeevansandjdmobession , @mlvgren , @kayleidoscopicworld ,@mantleandpea , @kingbouji3 , @randomfanficreader29 , @princess-of-the-fandoms ,@everheart12 , @stitchattacks , @jullamy , @misskarynie , @cactiem , @lolabean1998 , @chicagoblackhawkslover96 , @its-sweetpea , @riverdale-enthusiastt , @lightwoods-look-better-in-black , @riverdalesserpent , @topstory21 , @helplessquotess , @sweet-jughead , @lilybellsworld , , @potato384 , @soff-ie , @marifromtheneighborhood , @northbulldogssouthserpents @xrosegoldwolfx , @mwesterfeld1985 @justanotherdaydreamersoul

#sweet pea #sweet pea x oc #sweet pea fanfiction #sweet pea fanfic #sweet pea fic #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea angst #sweet pea fluff #riverdale #riverdale au #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale fanfic #riverdale imagine #riverdale angst #fanfiction #fanfic #fics #imagines

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termitate · 5 years

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a little jealousy ( a nalu drabble )

for @rougescribe because she said she needed fluff and i’m sorry it turned out so cheesy

Natsu had been pouting for quite some time now. The times she looked at him he had his face buried in his scarf and eyes staring at the floor. She asked him what was wrong and he just muttered something about her being oblivious. Which made absolutely no sense since they had been dating for three months now. It seemed like a short amount of time but to her, it felt like they had been together for a long time. Like their souls had been connected in previous lives and been destined to be together in each life they lived.

Of course, Natsu didn’t believe in fate or anything like that. Choosing instead to write his own destiny and make his own path. Saying there was no one in control of his life except himself. She, however, believed they were made for each other. Yellow and orange mixing together to create a red of fiery love. Neither could control it and wild and untamed. They grew stronger when they worked together but weaker when they fell apart.

Exactly why she couldn’t allow their differences to build between them to tear them apart.

Natsu wasn’t a man of words, especially involving emotions. It took patience and gentle prodding. Not upsetting him when he couldn’t explain what was in his heart and on his mind. Taking her time to understand rather than get angry. It was tricky but she tried to stay patient with him. His actions spoke loud enough that he loved her and that was all she needed from that.

But when he got upset like this she never could guess what was on his mind. It could be a fight with Gray. Somebody saying something to him that bothered him more than he let on. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t as thick-skinned as he tried to pull off.

She turned around in her chair to watch him, debating if she should give him more time or try and solve it right away. It hurt to see him like this. And she hated to think she was the source of it. But she had a feeling she was, considering he couldn’t look her in the eye.

“So,” she started slowly, “How was your day today?”

“Fine.”

“Nothing out of the ordinary happened?”

“No.”

Her nose crinkled, he wasn’t a good liar. His voice and face betrayed him each time. She stood and walked over to him, bed squeaking when she sat down. It was almost adorable when he pouted until you realized he was frustrated about something. He turned his head away from her and his fingers toyed with his scarf. It was almost like his scarf was some sort of emotional support for him. She leaned forward to look at him and his head turned further away.

“Well, my day was fun. I liked shopping with you! You have surprisingly good fashion sense.”

“I know.”

“I’ve been thinking about what to wear to Levy’s baby shower. A dress might be too dressy but a skirt and blouse and heels might be nice? And makeup what should I do for that? Something more natural? Glam?”

“It’ll be a long thing I think so no heels, you’ll get blisters again.” He turned to look at her and scrunched his nose, “And you don’t need makeup but if you want it to go light, you’ve got a pretty face and don’t need to hide that.”

“I’m amazed at your intelligence in this.”

“Hey, I grew up around lots of people, I learn a lot of stuff all the time.”

“Anything you’ve learned from me?”

He pinched his chin with his fingers, “That you have bad planning skills and I should make my own instead ‘f following yours.”

She whacked his arm and his smile softened while his brows furrowed. “I learned that I love you?” he said softly, as if he was questioning if that was the right thing to say.

Heat rushed to her face and he grinned further, obviously pleased with himself. She sputtered out a, “I love you too,” and set back to her plan to get his frustration out of him. “Is something bothering you?”

His eyes widened for a split second before his face buried right back in his scarf. “No,” he said softly keeping his eyes off hers. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, if there’s anything you’re upset about you can tell me sometime if you want.”

Natsu watched her for a moment before letting out a sigh. “It’s dumb.”

“If something makes you upset it’s not dumb.”

He sighed again before taking in a deep breath. “Well, that guy at the cash register was really talking you up and you didn’t say anything t’ him and let him keep talking like that and I really don’t like that because you’re mi--my girlfriend and I don’t like people thinking that they can have you and that’s probably not right but I can’t help it and--” His words were coming out in rapid fire and she had to listen closely to discern them.

He was jealous?

She reached out her hands to cup his face and his rambling died down. “You’ve been around me too much, you have my rambling skills now.”

“It’s contagious.”

“You don’t need to be jealous. Don’t you trust me?”

He nodded his head, “Of course! I just don’t trust other people.”

“You want to know a secret Natsu?” she asked. He nodded again and she nodded hers. “I used to always know when people were flirting with me. Lately, I don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the only guy I see now. I don’t care about other ones because they’re not you and you’re the one that matters most to me.”

If she didn’t know any better, she could swear he was blushing, red dusting across his face lightly while his lips pursed out. Her eyes dropped and she spoke softer, “You’re the one that I want to be with forever. I don’t ever want to be with anyone else but you. My first and last as Mirajane put so nicely.”

His hands lifted and cupped her face. Her heart did a strange flutter and she watched him lean closer. Eyes shutting tight and waiting... She opened them when she felt his lips on her nose, her eyes going cross-eyed for a moment before he pulled away.

“Thank you,” he said. Lips turned up at the corners and those hidden dimples of his appeared. His thumbs stroked her cheeks for a second before he pulled them away. She dropped her own hands and he took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers smoothly before he nodded his head.

“You should wear those jeans and that flowery shirt you got!”

“And?”

“And?” he asked.

“And,” she said slower, soon after a pout formed on her face.

“And I love you?”

“Why do you sound so unsure?!”

“I’m not!”

“You should be able to declare your love for me to the world!”

“Do you not know?”

“Of course I know but it’s nice to hear!”

“Okay,” he said before leaning closer, lips brushing against her ear sending a shiver down her spine. “I love you, Lucy.”

She pouted again when he pulled back to look at her with a grin. “That’s not the whole world you dummy.”

“But you’re my world!”

“....You’ve been around Loke again haven’t you.”

#fairy tail #nalu #ft fanfic #*mine: drabble #i hate writing fluff i get so embarrassed by myself #ITS TOO CHEESY I HATE IT BUT MIRA YOU WANTED FLUFF OKAY

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ajholdsamb · 5 years

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Petra- A world wonder that is truly deserving of the name

We have spent the past two days in Petra, a 2,000 year old Nabatean city that is carved out of ancient sandstone cliffs and looks like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It is the most famous site in Jordan, receiving over half a million visitors a year. Many people travel to Jordan just to see this site and I can see why. Made famous in modern times by movies like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Petra was famous long before that as the Nabatean capital city. The Nabateans came from nomadic tribes of desert people, who became extremely wealthy by controlling the trade routes between the Graeco-Roman kingdoms to the west and Indian and Chinese empires to the east. AJ want to insert more backstory here?

[Guy AJ: OK! Petra is to me a reminder of how fortune comes and goes and how it can build but also reduce empires. About 2,300 years ago a group of nomadic Arabs, later to be called the Nabateans, occupied parts of Southern Jordan and happened to be at the right place at the right time. The world was getting smaller and cultures were coming into contact with each other unlike ever before. Alexander the Great had just introduced half a continent to Greek society, sometimes after razing a town to the ground then building it back up with more floral patterns in their columns. Anyway, all this cultural exchange meant people wanted more things from further away places.

And what better place to be at that time than Jordan? It is located at the converging point of Africa, Europe, and Asia, a crossroads of significance since the first of our species left Africa. The Nabateans controlled trade routes through this important hub, and were able to acquire great wealth from Indian spices on their way to Alexandria and Greek statues passing through to a Red Sea port. They used their wealth to construct massive and awe inspiring tombs in Petra, which AJ and I stared at in amazement over 2,000 years later, but Petra is so much more than a valley for the dead.

Petra is thought to have been a city of several tens of thousands of people, who bartered over goods in markets, practiced religious rites in temples, and debated public policy in the city’s civic center. The remains of these institutions are mostly in rubble in Petra’s basin area, but the thousands and thousands of potsherds we observed walking around are testimony to the many people who lived here in the literal shadows of the dead from the tombs that ring the city.

Petra was incredibly cosmopolitan - the tombs incorporated stepped motifs from Mesopotamia, obelisks from Egypt, and ornate entablatures from Greece. The columns at Petra are distinctly Nabatean, however, with tops that point out like bull horns unlike any other classical style I’ve seen.

If fortune created Petra than a loss of fortune eroded it. By the time Petra was absorbed by the Roman Empire in the first century AD, new trade routes and greater confidence in seafaring made Petra increasingly obsolete. Although several earthquakes destroyed parts of the city in the following centuries, it is a ruin not from natural disasters but from money drying up and people gradually leaving to find better prospects elsewhere or to return to the way of life of those who founded Petra, herding in the Arabian desert like descendent Bedouin communities do to this day. Petra is a reminder that the good times don’t always last forever, cough, cough USA.]

Now that you have a little backstory, I’ll go into our experiences. Because we saw SO MUCH during our time in Petra, I’m going to write this blog post a little differently. Rather than chronicling everything, I’m going to narrow it down to the top five sites we saw and our top four practical tips. This should give a good overview of our experiences but also not take twenty years to write. Let’s start off with the practical and then get into the fun!

Top Four Practical Tips for visiting Petra

1)Go for more than one day, and stagger your entrance times

This probably increased our enjoyment of Petra tenfold. Through our Jordan Pass (which is a great deal by the way- it includes your visa fee and the entrance fees for every site we are going to visit in Jordan?!) we had bought two days in Petra. If you’re into archaeology, geology, nature, or just like to take it slower I recommend going for at least two days, because Petra is unique and wonderful and huge and there is just so much to see. You can check off the biggest of the sites in one intense sweaty day, but it is so much more enjoyable to take your time.

We decided to start off our first day super early, so we got into the park at the opening time of 6:00. Petra can get really crowded, but at 6:00 the only person there was the one sole ticket taker (we even got confused for a second, thinking that maybe the site was closed). This was such a good way to start off our first day because during the 40-50 min trek in we were often BY OURSELVES. This was especially cool during the walk through the siq, a box canyon with 500 ft. tall walls that meanders magically through to take you to the reveal of Petra’s most famous site- the Treasury. As we were leaving at 1:30 pm this walkway was packed with people and speeding carriages and decidedly less magical.

Getting in early we were also able to appreciate the main sites without being inundated by other tourists or salespeople. We actually got photos of the Treasury without other people in them! At one point on our first day I was like “wow AJ we’ve done so much already, it must be time for lunch” but it was 8am.

Starting early, we were able to do the intense hike up to the ceremonial high place while the weather was still cool. During the downhill hour and a half meander through the Wadi Farasa trail it started to get hot, so I was very happy to not have to climb a bajillion stairs again. After that we we saw a couple more of the big tombs, but then during the hottest and most crowded part of the day we were able to peace out without guilt because we knew we had another day. It was only 1 pm when we began the hour trek home, but by that point we had already had a full 7 hour day.

On our second day, we slept in and got started at 10. We actually began at the museum (which is really well done!) so we didn’t make it into the park until 11:00. Because we had already seen a lot of the main sites we were able to walk straight through to the parts we hadn’t seen and take our time. Then in the mid afternoon we began our all uphill hike to Petra’s Monastery.

I was worried about hiking uphill during the hottest part of the day but because we had gotten a late started we had energy, and a good chunk of the path was shady (side note-this is supposed to be one of Petra’s low seasons because it supposedly gets so hot, but it was in the 80s for us- not too bad!). We were able to have a picnic and enjoy the views, and then walk back through Petra during golden hour right before sunset. Again, there were almost no people! I think many visitors do a quick one day tour where they come in between 10-11 and only stay for a couple of hours. It was so nice to have the full two days in Petra, to get it when it was not crowded, and to see it in the different types of sunlight.

2) Think of the practicalities (you’re going to be doing a lot of hiking)

So real talk, AJ and I looked like dorks in Petra. We were wearing long sleeve tactical hiking gear with pants and had backpacks on with 10 liters of water and snacks (& when I say WE carried 10 liters of water I really mean guy AJ did, he’s such a beast). And yet we saw people in fancy dresses and high heels with no water?? Granted not everyone has to hike for 8 hours a day like we did, but it’s still at least a 50 min hike in through the dirt. You can buy water in the site, but it is way overpriced and it was nice to never have to worry about getting stranded somewhere without it. Plus we drank all of it and never got dehydration headaches👌🏻. It’s also fun to pack in a picnic to enjoy in the park. There are a couple restaurants in the site, but if you bring your own you can pick your spot (with lots of awesome views to choose from). There are also toilets on site, but it’s good to bring tp and handsanitizer because they are often not well stocked. Since it gets super sunny, wearing pants and a long sleeve t-shirt was clutch for the rocky trails, sun protection, and out of respect because despite tourist short shorts, we are still in a Muslim county.

If nothing else, at least wear tennis shoes and bring water.

3) Climb to some high places and get some views!

We did two uphill hikes while in Petra, one to the Ceremonial High Place (for ceremonies) and one to the Monastery. We took both slowly, and while they were steep & straight up hill, there were steps that made them doable. Each climb took about 45-60 minutes one way, with lots of breaks. The views at the end made them all worthwhile. It allowed us to pull back and really see the landscape of the wadi (valley). Both hikes ended up being two of our favorite aspects of Petra- so I’ll talk more about them later.

4) Don’t just try to check off all the main sites- go off the beaten path

Maybe because I had only really seen pictures of the Treasury, I didn’t realize before visiting how large Petra is. Since it was a complex city, the site is spread out and there are SO many places to see. On our first big day I realized just how exhausting trying to check off all the big ones in one day truly is. Some of our favorite aspects were going off the beaten path and exploring random less famous aspects of Petra. It’s fun to find your favorite tomb or take a rest on a side trail, all of which you don’t have time for if you’re trying to power through all the greatest hits.

Now on to the fun stuff!

Top Five Sites of Petra

5)Exploring the unnamed tombs

This fits in very well with our last tip from above. At around 7:15 am after hiking through the siq and spending some time at the treasury, we wandered off the main path to explore some of the unnamed tombs. Each tomb is different, it is fun to pick out your favorites and think about the people who would’ve been buried here or celebrated in these smaller places. They are more intimate than the larger tombs, and it feels really adventurous to get to walk around in these ancient buildings. The sandstone is often gorgeous, and it was really peaceful to take a break in these cool chambers. Also AJ named one the tomb of the drunken sailor cuz it was slanted.

4)Wandering through the Siq

Walking through the siq was a magical experience every time it happened, but especially without crowds and in the light at dawn and dusk. The first time it came as a surprise. We were hiking down from the visitors center when all of the sudden the landscape changed and we were at the entrance to the Siq, a 500 ft. tall canyon with imposing walls that almost block out the sun. Running along the path you can still see the distinct curves used for the Nabatean irrigation system. There are sculptures hidden along the pathway including the remains of what would’ve been a 10 ft. tall camel carving. You can see why the Nabateans would have chosen this geologic feature as their grand entrance, and it served to create a sense of magic for entering this special place.

3)Hiking the Wadi Farasa Trail

On the first day after I thought we’d be in Petra for months but it was only 8 o’clock, we started our hike up to the Sacrificial High Place. I’m glad we started early because it was a steep 45 minute hike and at 8am it wasn’t too hot. After a brief kerfuffle with a donkey (a Bedouin woman was trying to call it to her but we kept accidentally scaring it uphill), we made it to the top! There are panoramic views of Petra, including Aaron’s tomb. This was a sacred place where the Nabateans worshipped the sun and moon with a built in blood drain for sacrifices. It’s easy to tell why it is sacred- up there it’s so easy to feel close to the sky. AJ and I took a moment to lie down on the top to worship the celestial deities as the sun and morning moon faced off above us. Also, it was a tiring hike and we needed to lie down. Next, rather than going back down the steep way we came, we took the Wadi Farasa trail. There was all sorts of cool archaeology (a giant lion fountain!) and geology (sandstone with manganese and iron stripes!) to see on the way down. My favorite part was the the combination of the tomb of the Roman soldier and the garden triclinium because they are directly across from each other, and with the rubble from the column lined promenade it was easy to picture how the ancient people would’ve used this beautiful space.

2)The hike to the Monastery/the end of the world

Our second favorite site was on our other high place trek. This one we did in the late afternoon, and since it is through a canyon it was often shaded. We had a picnic lunch at the top in front of the monastery (one of the largest tombs in Petra that was later turned into a church). However, my favorite part was a spot beyond the monastery. We hiked 15 minutes further to the edge of the mountain to this little Bedouin tent & the views were INSANE! We could see so many mountain ranges come together to into this steep valley, with a convergence of different types of rocks. Guy AJ liked it because, in his words, “we’ve finally reached the edge of Petra.” In other words it was the first time we looked out and didn’t see any archaeology; we had found an end to this seemingly endless site. It was one of the prettiest places I’ve ever seen.

1)The Treasury reveal

The treasury (or the Khazneh) is the most famous site in all of Petra. Its location is featured in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, as well as countless other movies. In person the detail and scope is awe inspiring, and made all the more impressive by the long walk we had just had through the Siq. The first time the canyon opens up we saw this amazing 2,000 year old building. It was wonderful to get it almost to ourselves in the morning, and we also got to say goodbye without the crowds on the last day. It’s the most famous part of Petra, but for a good reason.

All in all Petra is one of the coolest places I’ve ever seen, a highlight of this trip and of my life.

Love,

The very impressed Ajs

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