#I’ve been trying out different school hours these past couple of semesters and this time around

[applepidotcom]

Oh boy the world is looking unbelievably bleak again I wonder if it’s my incoming period or a chemical imbalance in the brain lol

[harryskalechips]

one and done

A/N Hi everyone! I’m back with a one shot :) I know I don’t write as often anymore but since I’m self quarantining and I’m just about finish with high school, I thought I should try and give it another go? I’m also re starting up my jewellery business so ahhh many goals in mind but no motivation ??? Okay, I hope you guys enjoy this one!!! It is definitely a slow burn with smut but part 2? I dunno!!

Y/N and her brother’s best friend Harry, has had some pent up sexual frustration for a while. Wouldn’t it be best if they just had a one and done? you know to get it out of their system ;) 

*smut includes spanking, choking, male and female receives oral, harry dom but Y/N rides, magic face cream treatment for anti wrinkling results? Yes, and what else? sub space, hair pulling, gosh I forgot please read it 😁

Word Count: 6.1k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST

“Don’t you think it's a bit of a cliché to be crushing on your brother’s best friend?” Ness teases Y/N as they walk out of her house. They were just on the steps about to go on a walk around the block. It was definitely one of their favourite things to do as the sun was just about to set.

Y/N had her butt sat on the spruced wooden steps as she ignored her best friend’s comment. First off, she knew it was a cliché. Secondly, her last encounter with him just seconds ago was already making her plan her own execution.

In her head, it was simply her just jumping out of her window multiple times until she lost consciousness. Ness on the other hand was standing up, watching the poor girl tie her laces. “Okay, I was just teasing. We can change the topic.” She lends her hand out for Y/N to take.

“It’s not just that Ness.” She gladly accepts the gesture and stands up. She wipes off her butt and glances back at the door. “I’ve never had a thing for him! Ryan and Harry have been best mates since what? 8th grade and for some reason ever since the cruise from last summer, I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“It’s because he was shirtless half of the time.” Ness laughs as she hands Y/N’s water bottle to her. “Okay, we can admit it though. As a senior he is 10 times more attractive than he ever was. He looks like a frat boy that could jump my bones.”  Y/N stops walking and just stares at Ness while the girl continues to walk. She grabs her hand and pulls her forward. “Okay, I’m sorry for the bad comment.”

“He is hot though. Really hot.” Y/N smiles.

“See, that’s why you should sleep with him.”

“What are you crazy? Ness, Ryan would kill me or him -maybe the both of us!” 

“It’s pent up sexual frustration. Harry legit watched us walk out your door while eating a banana and you still managed to trip on your shoes.” She laughs.

“He was making eye contact with me!”

“All I’m saying is that he throws parties at his house and always invites us despite y’know us being juniors. Just offer, do it, slip out, and never say anything about it ever again.” Ness elbows Y/N as she crosses her arms. 

“Maybe I will.” She laughs pretending to actually sound confident in the idea.

“Good, there’s a party this Friday anyway.” Ness shrugs her shoulders. “It’s the best remedy sis.”

~

“Harry, can we talk?” Y/N follows him into the kitchen while everyone else is God knows where around the house. 

“Ryan is in the backyard, trying to get Cassidy back.” He barely glances at her as he pours himself a drink. He notices an empty one in her hand so he decides to pour coke in hers. 

“I um wasn’t really drinking coke.” She states confusedly as she watches the bubbles in her cup dissolve.

“You think I’m trying to get you drunk at this party. One alcoholic beverage is good enough for yeh.” He smiles at her as he screws the cap shut and taps the top of her head. He was treating her as if she was a child, which definitely pissed her off since she was going to ask him a really fucked up favour in the matter of 60 seconds.

“I can handle myself, you know.” 

“Yup.” He rests his back against the counter and bites the rim of the plastic cup as he looks at her. “What do you need though?” He genuinely asks her. Although they weren’t that close, Harry knew her long enough to know she wouldn’t start random a conversation with him. It was more like a hi and bye situation. Not her trying to actually talk to him. 

“I have a favour and you can’t tell Ryan.” Y/N lets out a big breath as she watches his reaction change into a confused one. 

“Look Y/N, if you want to try and smoke a blunt, I think it’s best you find yourself a dealer that doesn’t know your brother.”

“No, not that.” She whispers as she moves in closer. There were more people entering the kitchen and this was about to get really fucking awkward. 

“What?” He looks at her and notices her body shifting closer to him. Her chest was touching the side of his arm, making his eyes look towards the cabinets instead.

“I-”

“Yes?”

“Do you wanna fu-?” His eyes widen as he downs the rest of his drink in one go. Harry doesn’t even let her continue as he steps away from Ryan’s little sister. 

“I’m sorry do I already know the rest of that question?” He tries not to obviously choke on the liquid in his mouth.

“Well, I don’t know you didn’t really let me finish.”  Her sassy tone comes out. Her cheeks were really red and although Y/N came to the party with Ness feeling really confident in the dress she picked. She just wanted to go home and not show her face to him ever again. This was the stupidest idea! Why on earth did she think Harry would want to sleep with her when there are so many girls that try to get his attention. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He bites the inside of his cheek and watches some familiar people leave the room. Once it’s clear again, he speaks up. “Like are you serious?” He could feel his throat becoming more stuffy. “You and me?” She nods. “Really?” She nods again. “That’s crossing the line and Ryan is pretty overprotective. I can’t do that to him.”

“Cool.” Y/N stands perfectly still as she tries her best to maintain eye contact with him. She takes a sip of the coke but later, grabs the bottle of alcohol and pours it into her cup regardless of him watching her. “Well, don’t let Ryan know.” She shrugs her shoulders and laughs. “Thanks for answering my survey!” She gives him an awkward smile then walks out of the room. How can a guy pass up on her??? First rejection has gotta sting. 

This wasn’t some weird guy she was asking though. This was Harry, Ryan’s best friend. If Ness was put in his position, she wouldn’t want her to say yes either. God, she was also going to kill her best friend for putting the most ridiculous game plan in her head.

And although the party continued on, Ness and Y/N didn’t let the earlier events bother them. The two spent hours just fucking around until they found a comfy spot in the living room.

“Y/N, don’t look.” Ness sits beside her on Harry’s couch watching a few strangers play an unfamiliar game on the floor. 

“What?” she quickly looks up to see what Ness is talking about. It wasn’t a surprise to see Harry holding Carla Laws’s hand as they walked up the stairs. They looked pretty excited for a room tour too.

Oh hell no, everyone knows a girl doesn’t go to Harry Styles’ room to just hold hands and a cute sentimental room tour!

“Are you sure he didn’t want to with you?”

“Yes Nessa.” She rolls her eyes and drinks her third cup. “Whatever, if anything at least I don’t feel attracted to him anymore. I found a new ick. He doesn’t even find me attractive.”

“Good. Rejection may hurt but it makes you wake up and face reality.” 

~

Okay if there was one thing Y/N could say now, it was that she is finally over Harry. Overall, he was nothing but a phase. Yes, she was crushing on him for the first semester of the year but after that weird conversation they had, it made sense why they couldn’t work out anyway. He’s a stuck up douche - a typical senior, all while she was a junior who was either too infatuated with him or too horny. Maybe both?

It’s been about two weeks and although Ness made sure to keep trash talking the guy, Y/N knew there was more to him than what her best friend thought. She knew him for years! Maybe the fact he was athletic, charismatic and just kind that made her realize what a perfect guy he was. She knew he was a bit more complex than what other people thought of him and it wasn’t bad at all. 

What she never thought was how awkward it was going to be the next time she saw him. “Hey, Haz.” Ryan opens the door for his buddy as Y/N covers herself with the blanket more all while pretending to watch TV.

For the past couple of days, Ryan was going over to his house and maybe Harry asked him too to come over, but what she didn’t expect was to see him again so soon. 

“Hey Ryan.” Harry takes his jacket and boots off as it just begun to snow outside. “Hey Y/N.” She quickly glances at him and waves. 

“Let’s go to the kitchen first, I wanna get snacks.” Ryan suggests as he walks away, assuming Harry would follow him like usual. 

After thirty minutes, Y/N thought the boys would be upstairs but as she entered the kitchen wearing nothing but her shorts and her brother’s old t-shirt, she was surprised to see Harry and Ryan eating sandwiches at the breakfast bar, looking pretty serious. Did Harry tell him? 

As she walked closer, she noticed both boys were just on their phones, scrolling through different social media platforms. She quickly brushes past them to put her dish in the sink. Ryan seemed unbothered but she could definitely feel Harry’s eyes on her. Once she makes eye contact with him, he quickly takes a sip of his juice and looks at his phone once more. “Y/N can you grab the chips in the cabinet please?” Ryan looks up at his phone and notices his sister was standing right in front of the cupboard. 

“Yeah, no problem.” She turns her back on them and opens the cabinet. She goes on her tiptoes reaching for the only bag of chips. Once she grabs them, she puts them on the counter and walks out of the room, only hearing her brother murmur a thank you. 

It was about 6:30 PM and the parents weren’t home yet. Ryan and Harry decided to chill in the living room when the doorbell rang. Pausing the game, Ryan opened the door to see Tom standing in front of him. “Y/N it’s for you!” He calls out for his sister since he knew Tom was her friend.

“Who’s that?” Harry mouthed.

“Her boyfriend.” Ryan shrugs as he unpauses the game. 

“Tom? What are you doing here?” Y/N walks down the stairs, pulling her shirt down. 

“Vanessa told me to come by. Apparently you need help with the calculus homework? I’m free tonight anyway.” He smiles and gives her a hug. Tom was a really good friend of Ness and Y/N. He was a smart boy that was really kind and obviously had a big crush on Nessa. There was anything he could do for her. 

Y/N instantly bit her cheek and laughed as she remembered Ness’ text message a couple of hours ago when she told her Harry came by. This was definitely one of Ness’ master plans. “You’re so sweet.” She pulls away and laughs. “We can go upstairs, I have a few questions to ask.” She quickly glances at her brother who doesn’t care all while Harry tried his best to maintain his eyes on the screen. 

“Y/N, Put some shorts on!”  Ryan finally yells out as the two went up the stairs. 

~ 

“I don’t get why he throws parties every weekend.” Ness takes a sip of her drink as they sit inside Harry's dining room. They probably weren’t going to stay too long. Everyone was inside due to the cold weather with the occasional smokers outside. Being the only few juniors, there wasn’t much the girls could do other than loiter around, drink a few cups and play the games they knew so well. Y/N wasn’t the type to have random hook ups but you know her exception with Harry. 

“Gemma has gone off for college and Anne is always working really late shifts at the hospital. He’s pretty much anywhere and everywhere besides his house unless it’s a party.”

“True.” 

“I’m going to say bye to my brother then we can head back to mine if you want?” Y/N offers as Nessa nods and downs her drink. 

“I’m going to drink a cup of water. Meet you at the front?”

“Mhm.” They both stand up and leave the room. Nessa was heading straight to the kitchen while Y/N began to wander around the house. 

“Y/N.” Harry calls out her name over the music. He was wearing a while long sleeved shirt that was unbuttoned. It made him look really attractive which almost made Y/N lose her breath. 

“Hey Harry, You know where Ryan is?” The only typical thing she would ever ask him before that one time. (Pretending as if she didn’t sexually harass him last time.) 

“He’s downstairs with the rest of the boys.” He glances around at everyone and looks at her once more. “I’m sorry, are you um- leaving?”

“Yeah me and Nessa are going to call it a night.” She wraps her hoodie around her figure and tries to make her way to the stairs. 

“Want me to give you girls a ride?”

“No no, it’s okay!” She smiles and waves her hand at him. “Nessa drove. You also have a party to h-”

“It’s kind of late maybe she should head home and we can-” And that’s when it hit her. Was Harry Styles trying to isolate her? 

“Oh.” She widens her eyes and slowly nods. “Okay. I’ll let my brother and Ness know. Should I meet you in your car outside?”

“Yeah.” He runs his hand through his hair and quickly leaves her side. After bidding her farewell to Ryan and explaining her interpretation of Harry to Ness, she was  quietly leaving the house as she watched Nessa walk by herself to the car down the street. What surprised Y/N more was to see him in his brown jacket standing by the passenger door. 

“Did you tell Ryan I was dropping you off?” He  nervously smiles as he opens the door for her. He makes sure no one is watching them leave together as he feels the butterflies forming in his stomach. 

“No.” She puts her hood on and sits in his car. She was picking on her stockings trying to avoid the awkward tension between them. Once Harry sat inside and they both put their seatbelts on, they were on their way to her house. It was weird knowing she was actually leaving a party with her brother’s best friend so she could suck his- 

 “What happens if they notice you’re gone?”

“Um, I’m sure they’ll think i'm elsewhere doing stuff.” She knew what he was thinking about and that made her a bit uncomfortable but it didn’t change the fact it was true.

“Are you still down to y’know?” Harry honestly never thought he would be this nervous talking to Ryan’s little sister. 

“Yeah.” She bites her lip as they glance at each other. 

“Cool. Are you like a virgin or something. I mean is there anything that I should know about?”

“No.” She shakes her head and low-key observes how he drives. 

This was going to be one hell of a night. 

Harry has seen Y/N’s room a countless number of times but to actually be with her by themselves in Ryan’s house made him feel really guilty. That guilt however, was shoved in the back of his throat. The girl in the room with his was obviously the best distraction. “I like your room.” he smirks at her as he looks at her soccer trophy collection from grade school. 

“Thanks.” She laughs lightly as she takes off her jacket. She quickly texts an update to Ness before putting the phone on do not disturb. 

“So before we start, what made you ask the offer?” He takes his jacket off and throws it on her chair. He sits on her bed and glances at the time. It was still early, so people probably weren’t going to be looking for him. 

“This is going to sound really dumb but I’ve had this crush on you since the cruise last summer. Well, you know Nessa... she had this thought and she thinks it is just pent up sexual frustration?” She shakes her head of saying the whole idea out loud. “So I thought maybe I should just get it out of my system.” Harry laughs as he takes in of what she just said. it made her smile as well.

“You were checking me out all summer?” He asks her in disbelief. “Little Y/N wanted to jump my bones?” He started to smirk at her. Although they didn’t know each other too well, the awkward tension was gone with just one simple laugh of his. 

“Stop laughing.” She throws a pillow at him. “I didn’t think you would say no.”

“I didn’t want to say no Y/N are you crazy? I’m laughing because I kept checking you out in those tiny bikinis you used to wear.” He throws the pillow to the side and shakes his head. “I don’t want to cross Ryan like that but I think i need to get you out of my system too.”

“Mhm and why’s that?” She locks her door and sits on the bed with him. “Because Carla couldn’t distract me from seeing you in my sheets.” He leans in and kisses her. “Tom coming by a few days ago with you wearing nothing but those little shorts was already making me lose my mind.” He whispers and kisses her again. 

Y/N immediately sits on his lap while trying her best to keep his mouth on her’s. Everything about this was so hot. She was about to just rip his clothes off. 

“One and done yeah?” Y/N rubs herself on him as her fingers tangle themselves in his hair. He kisses down her neck while grabbing her ass. 

“One and done. Just to get you out of my system.” He confirms with her as he gently throws her on the bed. He’s pulling his long sleeve off and taking his shirt off but once he begins unbuckling his jeans, he couldn’t help but notice Y/N trying to take her shirt off as well. “Fuck.” He murmurs as he gently unbuttons her long sleeve to help her take it off. In a flash, he’s on his knees unzipping her skirt and taking her stockings off as well. “You looked really pretty tonight by the way.” His cheeks flush as he throws her bottoms behind his back. Y/N laughs quietly and she sits up and brings his face closer to hers. 

“I actually would like to say the same exact thing.” He leans in to kiss her once more. Her lips were extremely soft and forbidden and it was making him slowly lose his mind all over again. Y/N thought Harry was just a phase but that seemed impossible as she was already dreading the fact this was a one and done situation. 

“You’re just so fucking soft and alluring.” He whispers in her ear as he unclasped her bra. “I already know I need to fuck you hard.” Y/N eyes’ roll back as she feels his wet mouth on her nipple as the other one massaged the other. Her hands were trying really hard to focus on the task at hand which was to undo his pants but it was definitely not working with the way he was distracting her. Not a single thought could process in her mind.

“I think since this is a one and done situation, you better make this memorable.” She whispers and bites her lip as she tries to hold back a moan. His fingers were teasing her covered entrance but Harry could feel her drenched spot already clenching at his presence. 

“Memorable? I’ll definitely leave my mark on you.” He sucks on her mouth more roughly than usual as he rubs his fingers on her centre. “You wanted me so bad baby? You just had to beg me huh?” He gestures his hips more forward to help her with his pants. 

“I’m kind of new to this. Be a bit patient.” Y/N laughs as she gently unzips his pants after numerous attempts.  

“You just ruined the moment.” He laughs with her as he kisses her forehead and takes his pants off as well. “Just kidding, this is probably the most fun I had.” He hovers over her again and teases her entrance. 

“What do you mean?” She lays on her back and roams her hands all over his chest. 

“Never got the chance to tease the fuck out of a pretty girl then fuck her hard.” He slaps her clit and bites down on her lip. She suddenly lets out a moan that makes her eyes flutter and her chest rise closer up to his face. 

He brings two of his fingers to her mouth and slowly lets her lick on it before rimming her entrance and shoving it in without any warning. His thumb slowly rubs her swollen numb as he can’t help but rub himself on her sheets as well. “You mind if I get a little bit of a taste? I’ve been dying to know. I saw you earlier at the party and I had to jerk myself off seeing you in those little stockings of yours.” 

“You. You jerked yourself off thinking about me, baby?” She looks down at him and smiles softly. He gives her a little smirk before pulling his hand away and heading his head down a bit south. His tongue dips slowly on the left side of her leg as his hands grip her thighs tightly, sure of the bruises to form soon.

“You’re like a fucking wet dream. How can I say no to you?” He urgently swipes his whole tongue on her centre. “I saw you earlier and had to go to my room.” He takes another lick. “Fuck baby, the best i’ve fucking tasted. Fuck oh fuck.” He precisely observes the way your whole swallows his fingers in and clench so tightly around him. His tongue dipping and switching with his fingers because he honestly can’t decide which is best. 

“Harry, fuck me please baby.” Y/N moans loudly as she harshly grabs on her boobs. She’s never been fucked this good. It was honestly feeling like a dream. With that being said, she’s only had sex a handful of times but Harry seemed like such an expert in the field. “Oh God.” She tries to pull away. She wasn’t sure if she could continue on with Harry obsessively licking and sucking on her wet centre. 

He looks up and watches her eyes roll back as her fingers begin to pull on his head aggressively. His only reflex is to spread her legs wider. After her first orgasm, Y/N lays on her back staring at her ceiling trying to catch her breath. 

“Fuck me.”

“We aren’t done yet, love.” He laughs at her cuteness. He can’t remember the last time where he wasn’t rushing to finish himself off. He was taking his time with Y/N since it’s what she deserves. He lays down beside her and kisses down her chest. “Tell me when you’re ready to go, yeah?” He dips his tongue on her shoulder until it reaches the huge hickey he left on her collarbone. He gently licks around it and sucks on it again. 

He was a bit surprised to see Y/N sit up and grab a condom from her drawer. “Thank you for fucking the shit out of me, I’ll gladly return the favour.” She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear as she focuses on putting the contraceptive on him. Just touching it was already forming butterflies in her stomach. 

“I could’ve been fucking you on that cruise.” he mischievously smiles at her as he watches the way her pretty tits move. 

“You were sharing a room with my brother.” She hisses as she holds onto his shaft trying to gently ease the pain as she fully sits on him. 

“But you were alone.” He grabs onto her waist and helps her. “You’re so beautiful fuck.” He sits up on her headboard as her palms rest on his chest. Both of their eyes couldn’t help but watch the way he was easily penetrating her. 

“Was touching myself because of you.” She mumbles out as her speed begins to increase.

“What did you say baby?” He almost chokes on his breath as he can feel her fully taking him in. 

“Couldn’t stop thinking of you on that cruise. I needed you to rail the fuck out of me.” She moans louder as she starts to feel his hips meet her. 

“Fuck me. So perfect, Shit.” He quickly turns them around and shoves himself back into her. His hand immediately tightens around her neck and once he is about to pull it away, she keeps his hand on her. 

“Fuck me harder.” She cries out as his arm begins to push her legs up. He spits in between their centres before thrusting as hard as he can. All you could hear was her headboard banging against the wall as his hand continuously choked the fuck out of her. 

“I bet you like getting spanked too huh?” He bites his lip and semi turns her body before slapping her ass. 

“Harry fuck.”

“Come on, baby. Be a good girl and come around my cock.”

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Y/N cries out as her fingernails scratch his back. “Come in my mouth. I want to taste you so bad please.” tears begin to form in her eyes as she continues to clench around his dick. Harry immediately pulls off the condom and helps her sit up on her knees. She absolutely could not feel a thing below her stomach but with Harry’s hard cock in her mouth, she was already closing her eyes and trusting him with everything she was. She’s never been this fucking vulnerable, she was literally about to pass the fuck out. 

She was softly holding onto his thighs but her hands found comfort on his waist as he began to fuck her mouth harder. Harry on the other hand, kept his eyes on how her mouth was taking him in. He watched the way his fingers wrap around her hair tightly as he brought his hips closer and closer until he could feel her gagging on his dick. Without a warning, he immediately pulls out and spills all over her face.

“Why’d you do that?” She opens her eyes and pouts. She was pretty upset how she couldn’t taste him spill into her mouth. So her finger immediately takes a swipe of his spill and puts it in her mouth. Without hesitation, she’s taking his forming soft dick in her hands before softly licking it clean and softly sucking on his balls. She takes his shaft and swipes her cheek once more before licking the rest of his spill from his shaft. 

“You’re going to make me hard again if you keep doing that baby. Might not be as nice as I was this time.” 

“Maybe I want another round?” She gestures him to lie down as she continues to kiss and suck on his cock. 

“Thought it was a one and done.” He softly smiles as he removes some of the hair from her face.

“How about a one and done night?”

“Deal.”

And although they thought this was crossing a line, they already knew the moment their lips touched, they wouldn’t be able to stop.

~

“Wait so he changed his mind!” Nessa laughs as they drive back home. “Bitch how are you at school today? I literally saw you limping at lunch.”

“Shut up.” Y/N mouth widens as she rubs her face. “I don’t know what happened okay? We said one and done but we honestly went a couple of rounds before I had to wake him up so he could drive back home.”

“But is he out of your system? Don’t get me wrong Harry’s a fine guy but like dating wise? He’s been with other girls but somehow always goes back to Carla. They’ve been like that before you and Ryan moved here.” 

“Yeah, he’s out of my system.” Y/N laughs but truth be told, some nights when she can’t sleep, she’ll find herself staring at the ceiling. 

“Why are you guys home so early?” Nessa asks once they step inside the house. There was a good comparison between Nessa and Ryan with Y/N and Harry. First off, Nessa literally saw Ryan as her older brother which meant they were pretty vocal towards each other. Secondly, Nessa was very comfortable at Y/N’s house almost as if this was her second home. 

“Carla and Cassidy are coming over.” Ryan smirks as Harry cleans the living room behind him. “During the party last night, I may have asked if they wanted to come over for a double date game night thing. Mom and Dad are cool with it since it's a Monday which is their date night too.

“Oh have fun.” Y/N buds in and laughs. “Make sure to actually vacuum please. You don’t want the girls finding your crumbs on the carpet.” She takes her jacket off as Nessa follows behind her up the stairs. Harry obviously tried to ignore the fact, she bluntly ignored him. 

“Double date? Damn, you guys really did just fuck and brushed it under the carpet.”

“It meant nothing right. So?” Y/N tries to brush off the topic as she sets her backpack down. “Why won’t you sit down?” “On that bed?” Nessa smiles awkwardly as she glances at the double bed near the wall. 

“I changed the sheets.” Y/N takes her shirt off and replaces it with another loose top. She unzips her pants and wears her black tights instead.

“So should we invite ourselves to their double date?” Nessa raises her eyebrows as she lays down on the bed. 

“No because it’s weird and I don’t want Harry to think I’m jealous.”

“I think you are.”

“Nope, I told you I don’t like him like that anymore and he’s out of my system.” She tries to ignore the fact, how she swallowed him without hesitation.

“Okay but wouldn’t it be better to prove to yourself you are just by being around him.” And although Y/N wanted to protest that, the two best friends ended up being invited by Ryan to play downstairs anyway. 

“You girls want a refill?” Ryan sits up from the coffee table as he cleans up the empty red cups. Ness, Carla, and Cassidy wanted a new one which made Y/N go help her brother out in the kitchen. 

“Are you having fun?” Ryan asks as he throws the cups in the recycling. Y/N pours the preferred drinks in the new cups as she looks up at her brother. 

“Yeah, I was wondering why you invited Ness and I. Don’t you think we’re cock-blocking?”

“Harry suggested you guys hang out with us while we played games. More competition is fun y’know. Plus you and Nessa can leave whenever.”

“Oh cool. Thanks, I guess?” 

“Yup.” He grabs two cups as she does. She couldn’t help but notice how Ryan suddenly started cheering. “Yeah, Styles get it! Woooo!” Y/N turns her eyes to notice Harry and Carla making out on the floor by the coffee table. 

“Are you guys dating again?” Cassidy laughs as she tries not to watch them make out.

“Sure.” Carla pulls away and pecks his cheek. Nerissa was just watching Y/N’s reaction and she knew it was a bad one. 

“Y/N could you walk me to the car? Appa just texted me and he’s wondering where I am. I forgot it was his birthday.” Nessa speaks up.

“Oh shit.” Y/N was clueless of her excuse. Which thankfully made her seem more genuinely in a rush to get out of the room. She sets the drinks on the table before going upstairs with Ness.

“How did you forget it was Appa’s birthday, Ness?” 

“I don’t know.” She packs her things up. “Why don’t you come with me? He’s gonna blow his cake soon.”

“Oh, I don’t want-”

“Come.” And if there was one thing Y/N knew well about Nessa, it was that she wouldn’t ever forget it was Appa’s birthday, especially if she just celebrated it a couple of months ago. Without a fight to say no, Y/N immediately grabs a hoodie as they walk down the stairs. 

“Ryan, I’m going to Ness’ to celebrate Appa’s birthday. I’ll be home soon before Mom and Dad comes home.”

“Oh okay.” Ryan waves at his sister as his arms rests on Cassidy’s shoulder. 

“Bye guys!” Ness and Y/N wave as they both exit the house immediately. Harry stays unbothered as he takes another sip of his beer. 

“Thank you for getting me the fuck out of there.” 

“It’s okay. We don’t actually have to leave you know. It’s 6 PM, I can drive the car to a different neighbourhood and you can cry all about him there.”

“I love you.” Y/N begins to tear up. 

“I love you too.”

~

“What’s Tom doing here?” Ryan’s eyes are in shock as he watches his sister hold hands with the familiar boy. What’s confusing is that Y/N went to Ness’ for a birthday. 

“He just wanted to come over.” She smiles innocently as she waves hi to the same party. It was just about 7 PM and the double date duo was watching an unfamiliar movie on TV. Nessa called Tom and Y/N had to explain their situation. Although he didn’t really want to do it. He knew Y/N wanted to prove something to the Harry guy. So as long as they didn’t do anything romantic or weird that would cross his boundaries, Tom was okay with it. 

“Aw, I didn’t know you were dating Thomas?” Cassidy smiles as she walks in with a bowl of popcorn. She hands it to Carla who is cuddling up against Harry on one of the sofas.

“We aren’t dating.” They both look at each other and laugh. Tom shakes his head and pulls Y/N up the stairs instead. 

Once the pair is gone, the dates begin to watch their movie again. “Ryan, you really don’t care if your sister is by herself with that boy?” Carla laughs as she feeds herself and Harry popcorn.

“I’m definitely not going to interfere with that, they’re probably doing the nasty already.” His eyes widen as he stuffs more popcorn down his mouth and although, Harry was keeping his eyes on the screen, there wasn’t anything sitting well with him knowing the girl he was with on the weekend was already in somebody else’s arms. 

The goal was to get each other out of their systems, why the fuck are they so jealous then?

great plan Vanessa. 

Part deux ici 

[johnsamericano]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 3:

ѕυн נσнииу

23 days of NCT masterlist.

warnings: tooth-rotting shit, Johnny is a dick at the beggining, inexperienced reader, fem masturbation, it's kinda bad but I hope you enjoy.

taglist: @notbeforelong @curieouscapt @whathamelon @unknown5tar

“I’m going out with my friends tonight, don’t wait up for me.” He commented while slipping his black, leather shoes on.

“Drive carefully .” You answered as you popped a cup of instant ramen inside the microwave.

“Yeah.” You took a deep breath after the door closed behind him. Freedom finally.

You turned on the Tv, setting the volume louder than usual. Johnny didn’t like noise, to be honest, he probably didn’t even like you. He had so many house rules, you couldn’t even breathe without getting scolded by him. Not even three months had passed since your wedding and you already felt like you were in some sort of military camp.

“God, it smells so nice.” You murmured, pulling out the hot cup from the microwave and dumping the content in a bowl.

You ate on the sofa, another thing that Johnny hated, while watching your favorite series, enjoying your time alone. If it wasn’t for your parents, you would’ve never agreed to marry him, but they sounded so excited with the idea that you couldn’t refuse them, it wasn’t like you had a line of men waiting for you anyways.

You decided to have a little dessert, a mug cake, to be specific. You decided to make one for Johnny as well, the memories of you as kids eating all sorts of candies coming back to you as to mixed all the ingredients together. What happened to him during high school? All you knew was that he studied abroad and came back like a completely different man. He wasn’t your Johnny anymore. Of course, you were sad at first, but your sadness soon turned into anger as his attitude towards you got worse.

“Get lost.” Or “You’re so annoying.” Were some of the things you’d often hear.

You stopped trying after a semester, and it was quite healing to be honest. But then your parents had to bring him back to your life, and in the worst way possible. Nevertheless, they seemed happy, knowing that someone nice was living with you. Of course, they didn’t know the new Johnny.

After eating up all your food, you washed the dishes and laid down on the couch, your eyelids slowly closing as you drifted away. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later when a pair of arms woke you.

“Huh?” You opened your eyes a bit disoriented.

Johnny held you between his arms, carrying you towards your shared bedroom, which he almost never used.

“Go back to sleep, I got you.” He tucked you in with delicate movements. You could sense alcohol in his breath, but he wasn’t acting drunk at all. “Close your eyes.” He murmured as he felt your gaze over him.

“If alcohol was all it took for you to be nice, I would’ve poured some whiskey on your morning coffee every day.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at your remarks.

“I’ve been a bit rude to you, haven’t I?” He kneeled down in front of the bed, his thumb tracing the shape of your eyebrow. Now you were certain he was drunk. “I’m sorry, I still don’t know how to act around you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since you rejected me-”

“I’m sorry, what?” You frowned.

“You know, the letter I sent you when I was abroad...” He tried helping you remember, things getting clearer for him at your lack of response. “You didn’t get it, did you?” You shook your head. “Shit.”

“So you’ve been an ass to me for a letter I didn’t even get? Way to go, Suh.” Anger started boiling at the bottom of your stomach, sleepiness abandoning your system. “God, I wanna hit you so bad right now.”

“Please, do so.” He felt like a piece of garbage, having treated the girl he loved like his worst enemy for a misunderstanding. “But, hypothetically, if you had gotten that letter...what would’ve been your answer?” He fidgeted with the bedsheets, feeling your legs shift under them.

“I don’t know, what did it say?”

“I’m not gonna tell you what a lame 14 year old wrote to his crush.” He scoffed. “It was just a love confession, quite cheesy if you ask me.”

“If I had gotten that letter...” You cupped his soft cheeks, they were burning, probably because of the drinks he’d had, or maybe because of your touch. “I would’ve begged my parents to let me take a flight to see you, so I could answer to your confession in person.” His heart stopped, the answer he’d longed for so many years was finally about to slip from your mouth. “I did like you, John. But then you abruptly changed, and you hurt me so much during this past years.” Your words sounded unforgiving, and yet, you had the softest look on your moonlit face. “But I’m willing to let that go if you tell me what you’re feeling right now.”

He didn’t hesitate to pull your face closer to his, your noses slightly touching.

“I’m so glad you agreed to marry me, that way I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I’ve loved for so many years. Only if you want that too, of course.”

“Will rude Johnny be back tomorrow morning?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted together.

“Rude Johnny’s dead.” His sweet smile encouraged you to finally shorten the distance between your lips. It was your very first real kiss as a couple.

Your lips fitted perfectly together, like two puzzle pieces. He was the first to make a move, placing his hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer as he climbed on top of your body. The kiss started getting heated, his tongue freely exploring your mouth as his hands got playful, softly kneading your breast.

The palms of your hands touched his well built pecs, a small gasp escaping your mouth as you realized how strong he really was. He was definitely not the skinny teenager you were in love with.

“What is it, baby?” He smiled, his cheeks turning slightly pink, your wide eyes looking attentively at him.

“Did you eat teenage Johnny or something?” He laughed, the prettiest and most genuine laugh you’d ever heard from him.

“No, but there’s someone else I’m surely gonna eat out tonight.” You smack his chest, a high pitched whine coming out from his mouth. “What was that for?”

“Don’t talk like that...it’s my first time.” He’d already guessed it by the fact that you’d never had a boyfriend or a proper date, but it was still shocking to hear it from your own mouth.

“Then I guess I’ll have to be gentle.” His long fingers started undoing the buttons of his dress shirt right in front of your inexperienced eyes, cockily smirking at the way you’d unconsciously bite your lower lip. “Can I ask something?” You nodded, eyes still glued to his half naked chest. “The day of our wedding...was that your first kiss?” You remembered the lame peck you received as soon as the officiant declared you husband and wife.

“Sadly.” He felt as if a hundred needles were stabbing his lovesick heart.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, kissing your soft lips over and over again. “I stole your first kiss.”

“Then make up for it.” You raised your hips, your sensitive core meeting with his bulge and stealing a gasp from both of you.

His hungry lips attached to your neck, sucking several purple marks on it as your hands quickly worked through the remaining buttons of his shirt, helping him slide it down his arms. Even with the lack of light in your room, you could see his torso perfectly, the way his biceps would twitch as his hands slipped inside your shirt, thumbs caressing the soft skin of your tummy.

“Johnny.” You moaned, his hands moving upwards to play with your hard nipples.

“Turn on the light on the nightstand, I want to see you.” He murmured beside your ear, kissing the shell of it as you extended your arm to do as he said.

You blinked repeatedly, trying to adjust to the new illumination. Johnny looked even more ethereal under the dim, yellow light.

“Why have you got to be so damn perfect?” Your fingers traced his well-defined abs, mesmerized by the shape of them. While you were distracted drooling over his body, he took the chance to lift your shirt just above your round boobs, moaning at the sight of the two, beautiful mounds. Reality stroke you as you felt your nipples harden from the cold air. “Don’t look at me like that.” You avoided his eyes, your body growing hotter under his intense gaze.

“How do you expect me to look at the woman I love?” You turned to your side, shirt still lifted.

“Stop it.” Johnny loved how shy you’d always been around him, specially whenever he complimented you.

“No.” He pecked your cheek, hands going down to remove your shorts, stopping right before lowering the waistband. “Are you really okay with this?” You nodded, still refusing to look at him.

“Are you?”

“What a silly question, of course I am.” Without any further delay, he pulled both of the pieces covering your lower half down. You pressed your legs together, trying to hide your wet center. “Why are you hiding yourself from me, baby?” He mocked, hands caressing your round ass.

“I’ve never been naked in front of anyone.” He was quick to dispose his remaining clothes, wanting to make you feel more comfortable.

“Look at me.” His big hand was holding the side of your head as you turned back to him, trying your best not to look down at his manhood. “Open your legs for me.” As he was the experienced one, you decided to let him take the lead, slowly revealing yourself to him. “Good girl.” His praises only sent electric shocks right into your core.

“Are you gonna put it inside now?” Adorable, Johnny thought, using his finger pads to tease your inner thighs.

“No, I need to prepare you first. Otherwise, it might hurt.” He’d done it thousands of times, but it somehow felt different with you, as if he had to be extra careful to make sure you had the most pleasurable experience, even if it meant having to endure the stinging pain between his legs for a while longer.

He first used his middle finger to run it up and down your slit, satisfied at how wet you were for him. He talked you through every single one of his movements, making sure you were comfortable with everything he was doing.

“Johnny.” You whined, three fingers pumping in and out of your entrance. It was definitely different than when you did it by yourself, his digits reached deeper, delivering a new kind of pleasure. “I need you.”

He hummed, pulling out his fingers to grab the base of his dick. He ran the tip over your slit, your hips slightly bucking at the contact.

“Tell me when it stops hurting.” He was only halfway in when you asked him for a break, already feeling overwhelmingly full. “Don’t worry, take your time.” He said despite feeling the urgent need to move.

It took you a few minutes to recover, letting him bottom out. The pain was bearable after that first break, so you almost immediately asked him to move. Johnny started off slowly, both of his hands beside your head as he rolled his hips against yours.

“Does it feel good?” He didn’t even need a verbal answer, your facial expressions were more than enough to let him know just how good he was making you feel. “I’m not gonna last long.”

“Me neither.” You held onto his biceps, the knot on your tummy becoming tighter as he picked up the pace.

He lowered his face to connect your lips, both of you moaning into each other’s mouth as you reached your high, bare chests touching each other while you tried to slow your heartbeat.

“I wish this would’ve been out wedding night.” He kissed your collarbone, pulling out to plop down beside you. “Again, I’m really sorry.”

“Let it go already, John.” You hugged his naked body against yours, letting his hand play with your hair. “As long as you’re like this from now on, we’ll be alright.”

You didn’t even notice when your eyes started closing again, falling asleep beside your now loving husband. The next morning you panicked as he wasn’t by your side anymore. Had it been a dream?

“Good morning, sunshine.” Johnny suddenly came through the door, a tray with food between his hands. “You must be hungry after last night.” He left it on top of your legs, smiling naturally as if this was your everyday routine.

It was definitely gonna take time to adjust to this Johnny.

“Heart shaped sandwiches? That’s so corny, Suh.” You laughed, staring at your food with sparkly eyes.

“Hey! That took me two hours to make.” He went to the bathroom and returned with a hairbrush. “Your hair’s a mess, let me fix it while you eat.” He sat down behind you, slowly going through your hair as you stuffed your face with food.

“Does this mean I’m not gonna have to add whiskey to your morning coffee?” He chuckled behind you, pressing his lips to the back of your neck.

“That won’t be necessary.” He tied your hair up in a not-so-messy bun, lacing his arms and legs around your waist once he was done. “You look cute on my shirt.” You hadn’t even noticed. Probably he’d cleaned you up and dressed you right after you fell asleep.

“I look cute in everything.”

“Yes you do.” More kisses. “Now hurry up, we’re going out today.”

“Where to?”

“I’m taking you out on our very first date.”

[atlabeth]

transferred part 17 - atla smau

part 16 | masterlist | part 18 

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know he’s falling for you as well. 

a/n: ahahah a ??? im sorry?? that this took so long?? as you know ive been dying of school and exams and even though ive gotten a couple oneshots out and did my celebration i just have not had the energy to write a whole mf chapter. but it’s here ! after a month of waiting

wc: 4.8k she is a LONG ONE FOLKS prepare yourselves

warning(s): cursing, alcohol and getting drunk, toxic relationships, mentions of cheating, implied emotional abuse, y/n having a breakdown, just an overall mess 

-

“Katara, don’t pull so hard!” You exclaimed, reaching a hand up to touch your scalp. You had entrusted your sister with styling your hair for the party tonight, but only after insistent nagging on her part. She had invited — or forced, as you liked to call it — you over to their dorm to get ready for the party that night together and do all kinds of girl talk. You figured this was a trap to get you to talk about you and Zuko, but it’s not like you would deny an opportunity to hang out with some of your favorite girls. 

“Sorry,” she chuckled. “Just think of it as retribution for all the times that you pulled my hair like this when you did my braids.” 

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly and glanced over at Toph and Suki who had already gotten ready but still lounging around the dorm to hang out. “So.” 

“So?” Suki repeated. 

“So when are the questions going to start?” You asked with a small laugh. “I appreciate the invite over here to get ready, but I know you all just wanted to ask me about what’s going with Zuko. So ask away.”

“What happened during that car ride—”

“Has he said anything to you since the kiss—”

“What’s going on at the tea shop—”

“Woah, woah! One question at a time!” you interrupted as they all started going on at the same time. “First off, nothing happened during the car ride. We worked out some miscommunications, and we’re all good. Second — yes, we’ve talked since the kiss, but there’s been nothing groundbreaking. And third, the only thing going on at the tea shop is the tea that we’re serving.”

Toph groaned and shook her head. “Are you serious? That’s so boring!”

“You’re telling me that nothing has happened in the couple of weeks since the kiss? Like, are you sure you’re not in a secret relationship with him and just neglecting to tell us?” Katara asked.

“There’s nothing going on,” you insisted. “As much as I want something to go on, I… haven't’ really said anything either.”

“What?” Suki cried. “You are crazy for him, how have you not tried to make something out of this yet?!”

“I don’t know!” you shot back defensively. “I guess I’m just scared that everything will go wrong.”

“Look,” Suki began as she took a seat on the floor in front of you. “You are kind, funny, gorgeous as hell, and an all around amazing person — and Zuko has it just as bad for you as you do for him! So embrace all of that, get out there tonight, and make a move!”

It had been too long since you had gotten a pep talk from Suki, and it was strangely refreshing. You nodded and sat up. “You know, you’re right! I have just… I’ve been sitting around, waiting for him to make a move because I’m too scared of getting rejected. But I am a delight! I am a lovely person, and I am a delight. Besides, we’re both adults! Even if he doesn’t like me the same way I do—”

“Which he does,” Toph interrupted, which earned her a joking glare.

“Even if he doesn’t like me the same way I do,” you repeated. “We’re still going to be friends. It’ll just be a couple awkward weeks, and then we’ll be back to normal.”

“That’s as close to the spirit as we’re gonna get!” Katara exclaimed as she gave you a high-five.

“It’s about time,” Toph joked as she hit you on the shoulder. “Now, are you gonna get ready or what?”

“Right,” you chuckled. “I did get this super cute dress a while ago that I haven’t gotten a chance to wear. I think it’ll be perfect for tonight.”

“What are you waiting for, girl?” Suki asked. “Show us!”

After showing off your dress, you had finished up the final touches of your makeup and gotten one last pep talk from all of your girls — you were feeling more confident than ever, and you were sure that tonight was the night you would tell Zuko how you felt.

-

Back at the apartment, the boys were going through a similar dilemma.

“Zuko, what are you so scared about?” Sokka was hanging upside down off of the couch, a move he must’ve picked up from his sister, as he questioned his friend.

“I don’t know, everything? She could reject me, she could start to hate me, I could ruin everything that we’ve built over the past few months— you know, it’s not even that bad, what we have right now! What’s the harm in just staying like this?”

“Zuko,” Aang groaned. “I get being cautious, but this is just too much! You’re letting your fears get in the way of you and Y/N being happy. You kissed her, right? And she kissed you back! I’m telling you, if you let her know how you feel tonight then everything will work out. Trust me!”

“Seriously, buddy — it’s just painful at this point. It’ll be kinda weird having one of my friends date my sister again, but somehow, you two being apart is worse. Just tell her already!”

“Okay!” Zuko exclaimed defensively. He finished doing his hair then ran his fingers through it, ruining his work completely. When Sokka gave him a weird look, he shrugged and smiled to himself a bit. “Y/N likes it this way.”

Sokka gestured at him in disbelief and shook his head. “This is exactly what I mean!”

“Okay!” he repeated. Zuko leaned against the kitchen island and nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell her how I feel tonight. After she’s gotten into the party a little, I’ll take her outside and I’ll tell her how I feel.”

“And then you’ll kiss and it’ll be happily ever after!” Aang crooned.

Sokka rolled off of the sofa and stood up, then picked up the car keys from the table. “Someone text the girls, because we’re leaving. I can’t deal with this anymore.”

“You’re gonna do great tonight, Zuko,” Aang reassured as he gave Zuko a pat on the back. “Just remember why you like her in the first place, and speak from the heart. She likes you, so as long as you’re you, things will go great.”

Zuko nodded and gave Aang a small smile. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.”

As the two of them followed Sokka out of the apartment, he took another deep breath and tried to psych himself up. He was sure that tonight was the night he would tell you how he felt.

-

The seven of you regrouped with each other where you would be spending the rest of the night — because a ton of students were expected to celebrate the end of the first semester, the party was being hosted in a warehouse that a couple of kids had rented out for the night. It was more extravagant than the first party you went to in every way — you could hear the music thumping from all the way down the street as you got out of the car.

“Do you think we beat them here?” Suki asked as she helped Toph out. Katara locked the car and looked around, shaking her head as she pointed down the street. Sokka, Aang, and Zuko were all walking up together, having parked a couple cars down.

“They beat us by a minute. Probably broke a hundred different traffic laws in the process.”

“You guys made it!” Aang exclaimed as he gave Katara a kiss on the cheek. “Sokka forced Zuko to let him drive here, said he’s too slow and that he wanted to beat you all.”

“Sounds like him,” Suki joked as she took Sokka’s hand. “You ready, Big Shot?”

“I’m always ready,” he grinned, earning a laugh from you and Katara. Your eyes fell on Zuko as he walked up and you smiled, already starting to feel your cheeks heating up.

“Wow, Y/N, you look…”

“Amazing?” you guessed coyly.

“Breathtaking,” he clarified, the beginnings of a smirk playing on his lips. You laughed and looped your arm through his, and the two of you began making your way towards the party.

The rest of the group shot each other looks that ranged from overjoyed to bewildered to confused. As they started to follow you, they realized that getting the two of you together might be easier than they thought.

-

It wasn’t hard to get into the spirit of the night once you got into the party. There had to be at least a couple hundred people there, but it didn’t take long for everyone to start breaking off into groups. Suki had roped you in karaoke while Aang had taken Zuko to meet some of his friends, giving Sokka, Katara, and Toph time to strategize before setting the plan in motion.

“Okay!” Katara shouted so she could be heard over all the noise. “I don’t think we’re actually gonna have to do that much tonight! Just.. keep him busy for a while and then give him an out, and we’ll do the same with Y/N!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the whole plan. I made it up, remember?” Sokka wasn’t completely focused on the conversation at hand as his eyes darted around the scene, seemingly searching for something. His eyes suddenly lit up and he started to back away from their small group. “There he is! Sorry Katara, gotta go prove to a bunch of freshmen that they don’t know anything and I’m better than them. Aang can handle Zuko!” He grinned at her then ran off into the crowd before Katara could protest.

She sighed and turned to Toph. “Suki’s got Y/N occupied and Aang’s got Zuko, so it looks like it’s just you and me, Beifong. Whaddya wanna do?”

“You’re telling me you don’t want to see your sister embarrass herself with karaoke?” Toph asked.

Katara laughed and grabbed Toph’s hand as she started to lead them through the crowd. “You know what? That sounds perfect. After all the work we’ve done for her and Zuko, I think I deserve to laugh at her for a while.”

-

The first two hours of the party passed by quickly. You spent the first thirty minutes making a fool of yourself with Suki as you sang a couple classics on karaoke — though it was a bit humiliating, you had an amazing time. The second half of the hour went to the beer pong competition that Sokka’s friend Zhen had organized (they did end up winning, so you supposed his pride was well earned), and the next hour was dedicated to dancing, drinking, and letting loose. You had finished the first semester of your masters program, so you felt like you deserved it.

You had stolen away to an emptier corner to give yourself a breather as well as some alone time — you were enjoying yourself, but it was close to claustrophobic in the heat of it all. You were passing the time on your phone when you heard a familiar voice call your name. Your eyes immediately shot up as you tucked your phone into your purse, and you were met with your favorite pair of golden eyes.

“Hey,” Zuko breathed, taking a second to straighten his ruffled clothes. You couldn’t help the smile that played on your lips as you ran a hand through his hair to muss it up even further.

“Hey yourself,” you laughed. “What’s so important that you had to run all the way over here?”

“I have something I need to tell you. It actually is really important, but I think it’d go over better if we weren’t in the middle of all this chaos.”

You would be lying if you said that didn’t make your heart beat a little faster, and as you felt your cheeks heat up you realized that this was your chance. “Uh, yeah. Sure, totally— I actually have something I need to tell you, so that’s perfect!”

“Really?”

“Guess we’re just in tune.”

Zuko smiled as he took your hand and started to lead you through the crowd, but when you heard someone calling your name you froze. The blood in your veins turned to ice, and your grip on Zuko’s hand tightened. He shot you a questioning look but you didn’t even see it.

“No,” you muttered, barely legible. “No, not here.”

You almost didn’t want to turn around to confirm your suspicions. You could’ve ignored it, pretended like you didn’t hear it over the sounds of the party, but there was a voice nagging in your head that you couldn’t just ignore it, you had to find out if he was really, truly here — so you did.

You wanted nothing more to be wrong in that moment — honestly, you thought that you were hallucinating at first. You hadn’t had that much to drink, but maybe the alcohol combined with the sleep deprivation was making you see things. Unfortunately, it was real. You could never forget those eyes.

“Hahn,” you mumbled, the sight taking a moment to register. “Hahn, what the hell are you doing here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m here to party, and I’m here to see you.” The grin on his face didn’t waver as he looked you up and down, choosing to ignore the blatant shock on your face.

“You are not here to see me,” you clarified coolly. “We’re not together anymore, and ex-boyfriends don’t make hour-long drives to see their ex-girlfriends, especially ex-girlfriends that they treated like trash.”

“I figured you’d be more happy to see me than this,” he huffed. “Ungrateful as usual.” Hahn seemed to finally notice Zuko and scoffed as he looked at him. “What, is he your new boyfriend? You really downgraded.”

“You have no right to talk to her like that—” Zuko stepped forward to say more but you held out your hand to stop him. You gave him a short nod and stepped forward yourself.

“Hahn, I’m going to ask you one more time.” You could feel your hands shaking, whether it was from rage or fear you didn’t know. Your voice was deadly calm, but it was taking all of your energy to stay that way. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Hahn laughed and crossed his arms. “You’re joking right?” His amusement was a notion that you didn’t share, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably before he continued. “You wouldn’t answer my texts, and you obviously still want me after the things you sent me. My brother had a game here and I came along to see him, so I figured I would pay you a visit as well. You never really officially broke up with me, y’know. Are you really going to let three years go down the drain because of one little incident?”

Now it was your turn to laugh — it was from pure disbelief rather than amusement, though. “Are you serious? Hahn, I left you! I walked out, I moved out, I transferred universities to get away from you! Are you really so dense that you still think you stand a chance based off of some drunk texts?”

“Woah, you think you’re giving me a chance? Y/N/N, this is my olive branch to you — I messed up, I know I did, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix things up! I could have any girl I wanted back at Kyoshi, but I’m here because I want you — I love you, babe. You know I do.”

“You don’t get to call her ‘babe’,” Zuko snapped. “She doesn’t want you here, so why don’t you just save yourself some trouble and get out of here?”

Hahn snorted and shook his head. “Stay out of this, fireboy. Y/N’s a big girl, she can speak for herself.”

You looked around and saw that a modest crowd was forming around the three of you, and more than a few people were filming. If you didn’t want your relationship problems to become BSSU news, you had to defuse this as soon as possible.

“Listen,” you interrupted. “Zuko’s right, Hahn. It was a mistake to come here — if you’re as smart as you always say, then you would know that. Just.. go home.”

Hahn scoffed as if he couldn’t believe what you were saying. “No, you listen. I’m trying to do you a favor here, Y/N! I made one mistake, and apparently that was enough to ruin everything we had.”

“You know just as well as I do that it wasn’t one mistake!” you cried. “If you can really get any other girl you want, then do it! I mean, that wasn’t a problem for you during our relationship, so I don’t see why it’s a problem now. We’re not getting back together, so just stop!”

“It’s him, isn’t it?” he sneered as he gave Zuko another onceover. “He’s the reason you’re acting like this. I never thought that you would sink so low, but you’ve clearly gone soft. Come on, stop acting like a baby and we can talk this out alone.”

He started to reach for your hand but you pulled it back, and before you knew what you were doing, you had handed your drink to Zuko and your fist was flying right at Hahn’s face. It hurt like hell, but the pure satisfaction from seeing his shock as he recoiled was a painkiller on its own.

“How’s that for soft?” you spat as you rubbed your injured knuckles.

“You.. you bitch!” he yelled, staggering back a few feet as he put his hand over his nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “This is how you repay me after everything? You should be thankful I’m giving you another chance—” he started to reach for you again, but you slapped his hand away. You cast a glance back at Zuko and saw that he had been joined by Sokka and Katara, and knowing that they were with you made all the difference.

“I don’t want another chance!” you shouted. “You are the one that fucked up, you are the one that made my life hell, and you are not the one that gets to give out second chances! I gave you so many chances, and you messed up every single one! Hahn, I never want to see you again. And if you ever try something like this again, if you ever even try and talk to me again, I will do something so much worse. Now do the smart thing and get out!”

You gave him one hard shove to the chest then turned on your heel and ran. It was the coward’s move, you knew it was, but you couldn’t be there anymore. Tears blurred your vision as you pushed through the crowd to get to the back door, heaving shaky breaths once you finally made it outside. You could hear familiar voices yelling and felt the slightest tinge of joy knowing that your younger siblings were giving Hahn hell.

You leaned against the side of the building, pressing the heels of your hands against your forehead to try and stop yourself from having a full on breakdown. You started to count backwards from twenty in your head as your eyes scanned the area for something, anything, to ground you. It helped in the sense that you weren’t about to lose it right then and there, but you were still on the brink. You slid down the wall into a sitting position and hugged your knees to your chest, the tears finally falling.

This was your university, this was your night, this was for you to make new memories and end your first semester, but like everything else he had come in and ruined it. You had no idea how he even found you, how he knew you would even be here, but it scared you.

“Should’ve blocked you as soon as you… fucking asshole… can’t believe..” you mumbled incoherently as you pulled your phone out with shaky hands, blocking and deleting his number. You dropped your phone in your lap and then put your head in your hands, still trying to process everything that happened. You didn’t even look up when you heard someone coming outside, but somehow you immediately knew who it was.

“Hey, Y/N.. Are you.. okay?” Zuko’s voice was full of sympathy but also caution, as if you were a delicate flower you didn’t want to tear.

“Do I look okay, Zuko?” Your words came out much more aggressive than you wanted them to, and you bit your lip. You had always expected his kindness to be a double-edged sword, something he used just to get something from you, but it never was. Not even once. It made sense after what he told you, and it just made him an even better person in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just.. not. Not in the slightest. Hahn was the last person I expected to see tonight.”

Zuko moved over and sat down against the wall with you then hovered his hand above yours, giving you a chance to pull away. When you didn’t move, he set his hand on yours, filling you with the comforting warmth that you missed.

“You don’t need to apologize. What he did was fucked up.” He cracked a small smile. “Punching him was pretty badass though.”

You wiped a tear away and let out a soft laugh. “It was about time I stood up for myself. Our whole relationship was built off of this sick power dynamic that he loved to wield over me. Things were fine for the first few months, of course. He had this douchebag reputation on campus, but I believed that I could change him, that I could be the one to make him settle down, and— and it felt like I had at first! He was the sweetest guy, and he always brought me things and took me out on dates and it was just- it was just a dream. But I should’ve known he was using me. He had never changed, he had just gotten better at hiding those parts of himself.”

“I had zero sense of self worth and he used that. Told me that if I broke up with him I would never find anyone better, always convincing me that I was the one in the wrong, that if I wasn’t so dramatic then we wouldn’t have all these arguments. And the worst thing about it? I believed him. I believed him every time.” Your voice cracked on your last sentence and you could feel yourself getting choked up again. You swallowed hard and tried your best to push your emotions back down. “I was so terrified that he was right, that I would end up alone if I broke up with him, that I stayed. And that was our relationship for the past three years — built off of fear and manipulation.”

“A lot of people wonder why I transferred here. Sure, I did it for my masters, but Kyoshi has a perfectly fine program. I had already established my life there, I had an apartment, lots of friends, and yeah, I was going to go through with it. I was going to get my masters back there, but I… I did it because of him. I left because of Hahn.”

“Y/N. What did he do?” There was a dangerous undertone to his words, and you placed your intertwined hands on his knee. You didn’t want him to do something he would regret, and more selfishly, you needed him here right now.

You closed your eyes and let the question hang in the air for a moment. You hadn’t told anyone the truth of how your relationship ended with Hahn, and this wasn’t how you had pictured telling Zuko. If you were being honest, you didn’t think you would ever tell him — but he deserved to know.

“He cheated.” You said the words so easily, so simply that you almost shocked yourself. It shocked Zuko too; you could see his eyes widen slightly from your peripherals.

“Yeah. He cheated on me. That’s how things ended. After everything I put into that relationship, everything I did for him, everything he took from me… I still wasn’t enough for him. I got home from class one day to find him in bed with another girl, and… that was it. Something inside me just snapped. That was my moment of clarity — no yelling, no crying, no… anything. I just left. A friend let me crash at her place, and that night I started the process of transferring here. I made a promise to myself that I would never let someone like Hahn in again, and… well, now we’re here.” You laughed humorlessly and wiped a tear from your eye.

It was like the breath had been stolen from Zuko’s chest. He had never fully understood why you were so reluctant to open up to people, but this explained it. You weren’t someone who gave out love freely, but you had to Hahn — and the way he had treated that love made him sick. He had ingrained in you the ideal that you couldn’t be loved, only tolerated, and that was why you had such a hard time accepting help from anyone. The thought alone made him want to find Hahn and get him back for everything he had done to you. The only thing stopping him was that he didn’t want to leave you alone.

“Y/N,” he muttered. “I had no idea. Katara and Sokka didn’t even know.. Why did you hold all of this in?”

“Because I was scared, Zuko! I got myself into this mess with a stupid boy that everyone had warned me about, so I felt like I had to get myself out. Even when things took a turn for the worse, I felt like I couldn’t involve anyone else because it was my fault. It was my fault for trusting someone like him, it was my fault for believing all of his lies, it was my fault for not being good enough. And even after everything he did to me, a part of me still missed him.” You let out a laugh that was a touch unhinged. “There’s something seriously wrong with me.”

“Y/N, look at me.” You tore your eyes up from the ground and at Zuko — his golden irises looked the same as the first time you met him and it was oddly comforting.

“There is nothing wrong with you. Okay? And I know it’s easier said than done, believe me, I know, but you don’t need to be scared. I understand why you were so hesitant to share what happened with Hahn, but you don’t need to be. I don’t know how much weight my words have, but I want you to know that you can always tell me what is happening with you. Whether it’s a life changing event or just what you did that morning, I’ll listen to you. You aren’t alone, Y/N, because I’m here for you. I always will be.”

Your eyes widened with surprise as you stared into his own. This was the most sincere you had ever seen Zuko, even more than the night he told you about his life. There was a nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to kiss him, feel that warmth again, forget about what had happened for just a moment.

But as the familiar prick of incoming tears returned, you knew you couldn’t. You were drunk, on the verge of a complete breakdown, and anything that happened between you tonight would be tainted with the memory of Hahn. So with a concentrated effort, you tore your eyes away from his and swallowed, your throat dry and scratchy from the screaming match you had gotten yourself into.

“I don’t think I can spend another minute here. I hate to ask, but.. can you take me home?” you asked quietly. “You might not be able to tell, but I’m not in a state to do anything right now.”

“Of course.” You gave his hand another squeeze to let him know that he hadn’t overstepped, and stood up. The two of you began the walk back to the car and Zuko let go of your hand, shifting so that he could instead wrap his arm around your back. You smiled softly and leaned your head against his shoulder, the gesture a welcome comfort.

“Thank you,” you whispered. He squeezed your shoulder softly in response, a silent notion that said everything he couldn’t.

Tonight had been a wreck, that much was certain. Your past had resurged in the most painful way possible, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get through it alone.

But you weren’t alone this time. You had Zuko.

And with Zuko by your side… you knew you would be okay.

-

perm taglist: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin

transferred: @ourbestfriend-mishacollins @lil-lex1 @xxshad0wxb1rdxx @zuko-is-the-sun @akiris @irohs-teapot @thatarthistorynerd @charlenasaxen @minninugget @marvel-ousnesss @count-thotticus @what-ye-egg @furblrwurblr @thesstuff @mariachiii @ietss @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @xbarrjallenx @tommy-braccoli @dreamsluvrr @floofybread @thelovelylolly @lin-biefong-is-my-life @tiffanyy-21 @sistheselenophile @theincredibledeadlyviper @bakugouswh0r3 @loganrwebb @mikaslilworld @matsunshine @iris-suoh @aizameow @h3llbun 

atla: @marianne1806

[ipuckwithhockey]

History Repeats Itself- B. Boeser

a/n: This somehow ended up being around 11k words, so I hope y’all enjoy it! Also, I only did a quick scan for grammar and spelling so sorry if there are errors!

summary: You and Brock met once back in college when you were still committed to your high school boyfriend. Years later you’re single and older and just starting a new job in Vancouver. The only question now is whether or not you will take the opportunity to rewrite your own history.

warnings: None that I can think of

“So, are you in or no?” Y/N’s roommate asks her as they walk out of the library and toward their dorm. 

“I don’t think so Mags, I actually have some studying to catch up on.” You reply unconvincingly. Midterms of your first semester at the University of North Dakota just came to a close, and your excuse of having homework on a Friday night wasn’t convincing anyone. 

“Y/N, seriously? You aced all of your midterms and we just spent three hours in the fucking library! Live a little! The hockey team is having a huge party, and the guys are really fun AND super hot! You deserve this!” Maggie tries to convince you to come out to a party that the UND Hockey team is having tonight, and you tell yourself not to give in. 

“Maggie, I have a boyfriend. And you know they don’t let guys who aren’t on the team into their parties. God, it’s basically a frat.” You scoff at the idea of a frat party, but there’s still a small part of you that wants to experience the chaos of a real college party. That’s probably why it ends up being so easy for Maggie to convince you to slip into a pair of skinny jeans and a cute top before embarking on a night out.  

“Y/N, this is Nick and Brock. They’re both in my econ class. Nick is a sophomore, but Brock here is a freshman like us!” Maggie happily introduces you to the two tall boys as you enter an old musty house, full to the brim with college kids. The air smells like stale alcohol and you take note that your shoes are somehow already sticky. You’re not sure if it’s from something you stepped in or if it’s just the floor in general. 

“Hey, nice to meet you.” You shake Brock’s hand that he’s extended for you and you can’t help but stare a little too long, taking in his blonde hair and ocean-blue eyes. 

You had to admit though, Katie was right, these guys are super hot. You can already tell your roommate has her eye on this Nick guy, and it actually looks like he might be interested in her too. He’s just her type— He’s hot and he knows it, and his dark hair and striking features draw the eyes of nearly every girl in the room. The blonde boy who stands across from you is quite honestly the opposite of Nick. Brock is also undeniably good-looking, but he’s shy and his light hair and soft smile make him seem less intimidating than his friend. 

Nick finds you and Katie some drinks and some other girls you’ve become friends with show up to the party a little later. The boys come and go as they mingle with other people and their teammates, but Nick tends to stay close by to Maggie and you catch glimpses of Brock occasionally. Apparently his shyness doesn’t apply to his teammates. You can’t help but chuckle as you watch him and his friends dance together to some shitty remix of a song you used to blast on your way to school. You’re actually having a great time, but you can’t hear your phone ringing over the music that’s blaring through the house you’re in. Later, Nick offers to walk you and Maggie home after a few hours of living like a real college kid, and Brock ends up tagging along since he apparently lives in the same building. 

“So, how come we haven’t met you before tonight? This one talks about you all the time.” The four of you are walking across campus and Nick has Maggie under his arm as he asks why you never seem to be with your roommate. 

“She has a boyfriend. And I’m pretty sure he’s allergic to having fun.” Maggie quips as some of the alcohol she’s consumed tonight gives her the courage to openly criticize your relationship. 

“Maggie.” You say in a warning tone. “He’s just not a big partier, and usually I’m not either.” You shove at her shoulder lightly. Maggie was nice and you liked being her roommate, but when you first met and told her you had followed your high school boyfriend across the country to attend a university in “North fucking Dakota” she immediately expressed how crazy she thought you were. In her eyes there was no way that a couple who started dating when they were fifteen would last forever. You disagreed, which is why you turned down your scholarship to an ivy league and followed your boyfriend to North Fucking Dakota. His family was from North Dakota, and for some reason everyone in their family had to go to school there too. At the time, you didn’t see it as giving something up, you saw it as you and your boyfriend starting a life together outside the confines of your hometown. 

“So, what floor do you live on, Brock?” Maggie asks as the four of you make your way up to your building. 

“I’m on 4— Room 405. What about you guys?” Brock asks back. 

“We’re 219.” You say back before you’re startled as you hear another voice you’re not exactly expecting.  

“Y/N! Where the hell have you been?” The group you’re with is almost to the doors of your dorm building when a perturbed voice yells for you.  

“Uh- Owen. What are you doing here?” You’re surprised to see your boyfriend standing in front of you, looking like he’s seeing red. You weren’t even supposed to be seeing him at all tonight. He had told you he was going to be occupied for the evening while he was studying for his physics exam. You hadn’t told him you were going to the party, but at the time you didn’t think it was important. Owen preferred that you didn’t bother him while he was studying, so you decided against calling him before your night out. 

“I’ve been calling you for like two hours— God have you been drinking?” The rest of the group you were with tonight looks uncomfortable to say the least, and you can’t blame them. Owen wasn’t the best at saving face, especially when he felt like someone hadn’t upheld the standards that he had set out for them. Now he just looked like a dad reprimanding their child, and a wave of embarrassment quickly washed over you.

“I just- We went to a party. I didn’t think you’d mind. You were supposed to be studying all night,” You say sheepishly, as you begin to regret letting Maggie convince you to go out. Before Owen can clap back again, Maggie nudges you and tells you that the three of them are going to go, not wanting to invade on your private life any longer. 

When they’re gone, Owen starts again, “This just isn’t like you. I’m so disappointed.” You feel bad now, you know you haven’t done anything wrong, but Owen’s words make you feel like you have, so you tuck your tail between your legs as follow him back to his dorm and apologize for what you did. 

That was almost five years ago. You dated Owen for longer than you’d like to admit but eventually you removed your rose-colored glasses and broke up with him. You graduated from UND and got a second chance at your Ivy League dreams when went to graduate school. Now, you’ve completed your masters and have been offered a promotion at you job. The only catch was that the new position required you to move to the west coast… of Canada. 

You moved almost two months ago, and your raise was enough to allow you to move into a nice building downtown. Work takes up most of your time now, so you haven’t been able to explore the city as much as you would like, but you can already tell your decision to make Vancouver your new home was a good one. The laid back and easy feeling you get from this city is completely different from the big east coast metropolis you had been living in before, and even though you’re working more than ever, you feel like you can actually breathe here. 

Since your breakup with Owen your senior year at UND, you’ve taken time to take back your life. You try your best not to ponder on the past anymore, and you focus on your own future. It can’t be denied that at first it was hard not to remain bitter at the idea that you had so willingly given up many things in your life, for a boy who took them too eagerly. You worked through it though and took back your life by focusing on your own goals and working on furthering your own career. The past is the past now, and you were ready to start this new life in Vancouver. 

*

“I actually can’t believe you’re wearing that.” Elias mocks at Brock as they step out of the elevator and into the lobby of Brock’s apartment building. Brock is sporting a bucket hat, and even though he knows Elias is joking, he wonders if he shouldn’t have just left the hat sitting on his kitchen counter. The two of them are bickering back and forth about their fashion choices, and Brock almost misses you as you walk past him. Almost. He recognizes you immediately even though your hair is longer, and your face doesn’t look so much like a kid’s anymore. 

“Hey, nice to meet you.” Brock extends his hand, hoping he doesn’t seem too nervous to the pretty girl he has just been introduced to. He’s a freshman, and a star on the UND hockey team, which kind of makes him North Dakotan royalty. Since starting college, he’s learned what to say and how to say it, to get a girl’s attention, but he’s not the overly confident guy that his friend, Nick is. Nick lays it on thick and loves the attention he gets. Brock likes it, it’s fun, but he’s more laid back, and not as worried about getting the girl. He just likes to have a good time with his friends and doesn’t really need all of the extra attention. 

He would however like to have your attention. He makes some friendly conversation with you over the course of the night, but you stick close to your girlfriends, and he can’t tell if you’re not interested or if you just aren’t catching what he’s putting down. 

Later that night, when Nick tells Brock that he is going to walk you and your roommate home, he’s quick to tag along. Even though he lives in the same building, he probably would have stayed at the party a little longer if you hadn’t been going with them. On the walk across campus, the four of you make some small talk, and Brock knows that Nick definitely thinks he’s getting laid tonight. 

Brock can’t help but hope that Nick getting laid will mean you will need a hideout for a couple hours while your roommate occupies your shared room. Even though he’d happily accept it, he doesn’t think he’ll be getting laid. Brock just hopes that he’ll have some time to get to know you a little bit better, maybe get your number, and then eventually ask you out. It’s right then that Nick asks why they’ve never met you. 

“She has a boyfriend. And I’m pretty sure he’s allergic to having fun.”  Maggie replies, and Brock can’t help but be disappointed. You had a boyfriend. So it wasn’t that you weren’t interested, well it was, but it was only because you were already taken. Maybe you had even caught on to his light flirting, and he can’t help but think how embarrassing that is.  

This embarrassment honestly wasn’t as bad as what was to come next. Brock isn’t sure if his secondhand embarrassment is worse than the embarrassment that you’re probably feeling as the guy, who is presumably your boyfriend, yells at you for going to a party. He can tell that you’re trying to play it cool, you’re definitely uncomfortable with scene that is unfolding. Brock isn’t sure what to do, and him and Nick exchange a few quick glances as to say, “what the fuck?” And next, he’s incredibly thankful that Maggie steps in to tell you that they’re going to head into the building. 

“What the fuck was that?” Nick asks as the three of them get out of earshot from you and Owen.  

“Meet Owen, the illustrious high school boyfriend.” Maggie’s sarcasm is clear, and Brock is surprised that someone who seems so sweet could be dating a guy like that. 

That hockey party his first semester at UND was the last time Brock spoke to you. He left after his sophomore year when he signed with the Canucks and before he left, when he would see you on campus, you were usually with the jerk he only briefly encountered that first night. When you would pass him in the hallway of your dorm or even around campus you would usually avoid meeting his eye or offer one of those awkward tight-lipped smiles. Brock would always smile back, and he would wonder if you were actually happy with that guy, and occasionally he would tell himself that he could make you happier. 

You felt bad as you essentially avoided him for the first few weeks after that party, but it got easier as time went on. The two of you barely knew each other, but for some reason every time that you did pass him, you were still enamored by his kind eyes and generous smile that only made you feel worse for avoiding him. Over time your friends, like Maggie, would eventually fall to the waste side too as your boyfriend continued to control your life. Maggie stopped asking you to hang out and when you moved in with Owen after your freshman year, you basically lost all connection with her. Everyone probably thought that you were a massive bitch because they perceived your actions as you choosing your boyfriend over them. They weren’t wrong, but you didn’t know at the time, that your priorities were extremely misguided. 

Brock’s little crush was soon forgotten when he dove headfirst into the NHL. He was busy trying to establish himself in the league, and he found himself in a few lackluster relationships that usually ended in a mutual agreement that it just wasn’t working. He was a good guy, and even though he wasn’t a saint, he preferred to get to know a girl and take her to dinner before anything else. The girls he dated usually fell pretty hard for him. He’s unmistakably attractive and his endearing personality make him incredibly charming. They knew that they couldn’t hold on to him forever and that he didn’t want to hurt them, so they let him go and hoped that they would find another guy that was half as good.

Seeing you now is like a breath of fresh air for Brock; his little crush immediately rising to the surface after being buried away for so long. 

“Y/N?” Brock lightly touches you on your arm to get your attention. You’re lost in the email you’re replying to on your phone, and you’re more than surprised when you turn to see the same light blue eyes that you met your freshman year of college. 

“Brock?” It’s the only thing that your brain can formulate right now. Brock Boeser is probably the only person you know in Vancouver and yet he’s standing in front of you right now. You haven’t seen or spoken to him in years, and you can’t believe that he even remembers you. 

“Hey, I thought that was you.” Brock says, as Elias notices the big smile that’s plastered across his friend’s face. “What are you doing in Vancouver?” Brock asks, wondering how a girl from the east coast who went to school in North Dakota, somehow ended up in Vancouver. 

“I um- I live here. I just moved for my job a couple months ago,” You tell him.

“Oh, no way! Vancouver’s great, I’m sure you’ll love it here.” He replies, still taking in the fact that you’re standing in front of him. 

“Yeah, I like it so far,” you say. “Do you live here? – Or I guess, in the building?” You ask. You know that he lives in Vancouver, you’re aware of his hockey career, but you’ve lived here for a couple months and have never seen him around. 

“Yeah, I’ve been back in Minnesota for most of the summer, so I just got back a couple days ago.” He tells you. You never really put much thought into where athletes go after their season ends, but it makes sense that they would go back to wherever they call home. 

Elias nudges Brock to remind him that he’s still standing awkwardly beside him. “Oh, this is Petey,” Brock turns to introduce you to his friend that you already recognize, “It’s Elias, nice to meet you.” Elias says as he offers his hand to you. 

“Yeah, I know.” You let out a light laugh and think about all of the Vancouver Canucks posters you’ve seen him on throughout the city. You’ve seen posters of Brock too, but you barely even know the guy, so it’s never really struck you as anything out of the ordinary. 

“Are you a Canucks fan?” Elias asks.  

You laugh a little, “Oh, no. I don’t follow hockey or really any sports, but everyone at work does, so I’ve been trying to learn a bit about it to keep up with the water cooler conversations.” You laugh again because it’s true. You’ve never really been tuned into sports, but your new office is basically all men, and they’re all huge Canucks fans, so your google searches of the team’s stats and roster have helped you become familiar with the team before their season starts. 

“Well, you’ll have to come to a game some time.” Brock tells you. 

“Um yeah. Maybe.” You offer back, mentally debating on if that would ever actually happen, but knowing that he’s only being polite. “I um- I’ve actually got to go, but it was great running into you.” You smile, and say goodbye to the two blonde boys and make your way up to your apartment. 

Brock Boeser lives in your building. Again. You laugh, thinking about how funny it is that history is repeating itself. He’s just as cute as he was the first time you met, but the truth is you barely know each other, and you’re sure he remembers that you were probably a massive bitch in college who avoided him at all costs. You don’t let the thought of him linger too long and push it to the side to get on the realities of your life instead of continuing to mull over the past.  

*

Over the next month or so, you continue to run into Brock in the elevator or in the lobby of your building. He always says hi and greets you with the same sweet smile. You make polite conversation and he’s so charming sometimes that it makes you blush. It starts off with awkward hellos and goodbyes, then you start to make small talk, and soon enough conversation between the two of you becomes pretty effortless. His little jokes are usually so dumb, but they make you laugh and you truly appreciate that he’s always so nice. You start to open up a bit more and aren’t as hesitant when he asks you innocent questions about your life. 

You got to meet Coolie and Milo the other day, and Brock says that they are particularly fond of you. They both seem to be the sweetest dogs in the world, so you’re sure they’re just as good for everyone else. You see them ever so often when Brock takes them on walks around town, and he loves the way your eyes light up when you see his furry kids.

Brock usually asks you how work is going, even though your advanced corporate job goes way over his head, and you ask him about hockey, which you also have little to no knowledge of. You both usually give short and uninteresting answers like “great” or “it’s going.” Then, just as Brock is trying to find more ways to get to know you, you tell him that you’ve been trying to educate yourself more on hockey. You explain that you primarily work with men, and these men happen to be very keyed in on the sport and particularly on the Vancouver Canucks. Now, every time he sees you, he asks you what you’ve learned. 

Your conversations are still fairly short, but you tell him when you’ve finally learned all of the NHL team names, and understand each of the hockey positions. You explain some of the penalties and you’re pretty proud of yourself when your explanation of offsides gets an approval. When he asks you who you’ve decided your favorite player is, you tell him you like “that Boeser kid,” but not as much as you like Elias Pettersson. This gets a big laugh from him, and he tells you he doesn’t disagree with your analysis. This is a turning point for the two of you. Brock can tell that you’re becoming more comfortable with him, and he likes seeing this lighter side of you. 

One day when you pass him in the parking lot, he’s on his way to a game, dressed in suit, but with a beanie on his head. You’ve seen him like this a number of times before, and you really don’t understand why he insists on covering up his beautiful hair with various hats. You also don’t mind admiring how good he looks in his game day apparel. He’s good looking, and it’s not a crime to admire that. 

As you walk toward each other in the parking lot he calls out to you, “Hey, you learn anything new this week?” You laugh, because he usually starts the conversation like this, asking if you’ve studied up or done your homework. 

“Actually, I have a question for you.” You tell him as you come up, stopping before you would pass each other. 

“Okay, shoot.” He says. 

“Well, that’s actually your job, but my question has to do with goalie interference. I just don’t really understand it. I was trying to find videos of calls during games, but all of the calls seem kind of inconsistent.” You tell him, and he laughs at your shooting joke, leaving you feeling proud for a moment. He’s also laughing because you’re right. No one fucking knows what goalie interference is. 

“Yeah, I’m not even sure what goalie interference is half the time. But if you figure it out let me know!” He answers. You laugh, and the two of you begin to part ways. 

Before he makes it to his car you shout back, “Oh, Good luck tonight!” 

He smiles and thanks you before opening his car door and on his way to the rink he thinks about all of the little conversations the two of you have had over the course of last couple of months. His crush has only continued to grow, and Elias keeps nagging him to ask you out, but he’s not even sure if you’re single. With his luck, you’re probably married to that asshole from college, although he hasn’t noticed you with anyone and he hasn’t seen a ring on your finger. 

After that night Brock decided he needed to figure out if you were single or not, so that he could move on from his infatuation with you instead of wasting his time pining over a girl who was already taken. You’re always polite, and more recently you’ve become more and more comfortable joking and bantering with him, but sometimes you give him a look like you’re not sure what to say. 

That look is the look you get when you contemplate how you got here. Years ago, you couldn’t have fathomed having a simple conversation with Brock, but now you see him on a regular basis and make conversation like you’ve been friends for years. You appreciate his willingness to talk with you, and you enjoy your interactions more and more every day.

Brock knows that on Sunday morning you usually go for a walk down to the coffee shop on the corner, so today he grabs Coolie and Milo and heads for the door, hoping he’ll be lucky enough to run into you. He makes it all the way to the coffee shop without seeing you and he’s praying that when he opens the door to the store that you’ll be waiting inside. 

No such luck. 

When he doesn’t see you standing inside, he decides he should at least buy a coffee instead of awkwardly walking out. After he picks up his drink he walks across the street to the park so that Coolie and Milo can get some exercise. For some reason, the gods are on his side today, and a few minutes into his walk he sees you sitting on a bench under a tree, reading a book. 

He doesn’t get to secretly admire how pretty you look sitting there, with the sun streaming down through the limbs of the trees, because Milo and Coolie have spotted you and are actively dragging him in your direction. You’re stirred from your reading and when you look up you see two big fur balls running toward you, their owner not far behind them. 

“Hey! Sorry about them.” Brock apologizes as he tries to calm the dogs down. You’re laughing and smiling because Coolie has jumped up on the bench beside you. Brock tells them to get down as they continue to try and jump for your attention, and they eventually settle at his side. 

“It’s fine, I don’t mind at all. I feel the same way when I see them,” you say, and it gets a light chuckle from Brock. He loves that you get so excited to see them and he cherishes the way your eyes light up when you reach down to pet them. He’s not sure what to say now, and before the silence gets too awkward you ask him if he wants to sit while motioning to the spot next to you. He gladly accepts your offer, and he sits down next to you.

“What are you reading?” He asks, attempting to facilitate some conversation. 

You turn over the book in your hand so that he can see the cover, “It’s called Normal People.” You say before giving him a brief description. You also tell him it’s a series on Hulu and he says he’ll opt to watch that instead of reading the book, earning another laugh from you. 

“So, did you leave the boyfriend behind or did you bring him with you?” He asks referring to some of the plot points of the book you had described to him. The question surprises you because one, there wasn’t a boyfriend, and two, why would Brock think there was a boyfriend? Your mind works fast enough to figure he might think that you’re still with Owen, but over the last couple months you don’t think you’ve given him any reason to think you would still be with him. 

“Neither I guess. I didn’t have a boyfriend to leave or bring.” You answer, looking over at Brock. You’re sure you almost hear what sounds like a sigh of relief from him, but it happened too quickly to tell. 

“I guess you and that guy from college didn’t work out?” Brock asks cautiously. He’s trying not to seem too eager, but he’s dying to know what ever happened between you and that jerk. 

You let out a light laugh as you think back to your previous relationship, “No, it definitely didn’t work out.” You say back. “We were obviously super young; we started dating when we were fifteen,” you sigh. “Anyway, I think it just took some time to realize I wasn’t going to marry a guy I thought was cute in my 9th grade biology class. We just didn’t have anything in common anymore. And he turned out to be a total jerk.” It feels surprisingly easy talking to Brock about this. You’ve felt so much shame and embarrassment for staying with this guy from high school for so long, but Brock’s eyes don’t convey any judgement or reason to feel ashamed. 

After that you gracefully shift the conversation to Brock’s love life. It was only fair, and when you asked him if he had a special lady- or man in his life, his cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. It isn’t because you asked him if he was perhaps seeing a man, but because he was just so flustered by you and your questioning of his love life at all. 

“Nope. No ladies... Or men for that matter.” He says with a little laugh. 

“Really? A star hockey player like you doesn’t have girls lined up waiting for their chance to be with you?” You tease, as you can see, he’s still blushing a bit. You don’t think much of it, other than that he’s probably just shy about those things, but you don’t really feel too bad about teasing him.  He continues to convince you that there aren’t any other ladies in his life, and eventually the topic of conversation is forgotten. 

Brock walks back to the apartment building with you, and when you get in the elevator you remember that you’re going to be attending a Canucks game next week, “I almost forgot! I’m going to the Preds game next week!” You tell him, and his expression lights up hearing you say that you’ll be attending one of his games. “Some of the guys from work invited me to go with them. I think I’ve really won them over with my new hockey knowledge,” You tell him proudly. 

Some of the guys from work who are particularly invested in the hockey team invited you to come with them to a game, and you happily accepted the invitation. You had proven yourself to them as a colleague and now as a hockey fan too. 

“I guess we’ll have to get a win for you guys.” Brock replies confidently. The Canucks have had a great record lately and it looks like their winning streak is just getting started. “You better!” You say before the elevator stops on your floor and you tell him you’ll see him later, leaving Brock to think about everything he’s learned about you that morning. 

*

It’s Thursday, and this week has been hell. 

Sadly, you’re used to dedicating most of your time to work, but this week has been a total shit show, for lack of better words. A big account you’ve been working on decided at the last minute that they wanted something completely different, causing you and your team to have to work some crazy hours this week. By Thursday you’re practically a zombie due to your lack of sleep. The hours you have spent at home have been minimal, as you’ve gotten home past ten almost every night this week, and you leave in the morning again before 7. 

The guys on your team have all been working crazy hours too, but you’ve been taking the lead on this campaign, so you’ve made sure to be there early and late every single day. They can tell you’re just about out of gas, and they send you home early, telling you to rest up for the big presentation tomorrow. You try to argue, but they’re right, you need a break. You surrender and head home after stopping to get some takeout, knowing that your fridge at home is starkly empty. 

“Ms.Y/L/N, I’ve got a package for you.” Paul, the concierge of your building tells you as you pass him on your way to the elevators. You haven’t made any online purchases as of late, and you don’t remember anyone telling you they were sending you anything. Still, you wait patiently as he goes to the back room to grab it. When Paul returns he’s holding a decent sized shopping bag. You’re not sure what it could be, but you take the bag and thank him, too focused on getting up to your apartment and out of your work pants. 

As soon as the door to your apartment is closed behind you, you drop your bags onto the kitchen counter and slip out of your dress pants. Your bra follows shortly, and you settle into your couch with your take out. The rest of your evening is spent lounging on the couch, catching up on your shitty reality tv shows and taking a break from work. When you look down at your phone and see that it’s only 8:30 you tell yourself it’s too early to go to bed, but you’re exhausted and you bed is calling to you. As you gather your dishes and clean up your kitchen you’re reminded of the package you picked up on your way in. 

The bag is still sitting on the counter where you left it a few hours ago. You take a minute to think about what it could be or who it could be from, but nothing comes to mind. When you open the bag all you see is some blue fabric. It feels like clothes, so you dump it over on to your counter and come to find that the bag is full of what looks like Vancouver Canucks gear. You’re in surprised to say the least. There are multiple pieces of clothing laying in front of you, and you’re sure it’s at least a few hundred dollars worth of apparel. There’s a note too, but you choose to look through the other contents first. 

First off, there’s a navy blue hoodie with the classic Cancuks logo. There are two t-shirts, one has the Canucks throwback logo on it and the other has the pride logo printed on the front. You smile at that, knowing that he obviously knew you would like that one. Next, is a Canucks beanie with a pompom on the top. Finally, you unfold a royal blue jersey. You’re expecting to see a number six on the back but instead your eyes land on the number 40. You can’t help but feel a little sad for a minute, knowing he didn’t get you a jersey with his number on it. 

Alas, you unfold the piece of paper that was sitting in the bottom of the bag and it reads:

I figured you might need some gear for the game Saturday. I hope everything fits okay. 

If you ever need anything I’m Apt. 859, *his phone number* 

-Brock

P.S. Petey insisted that I include his jersey since he’s “your favorite.”

You don’t feel as bad about it not being a Boeser jersey now, and you use a magnet to hang the note up on your fridge before folding your new gear and heading to bed, grinning ear to ear. 

Your presentation goes off without a hitch the next day and you and your coworkers are ready to let loose a bit for the Cancuks game the following evening. You meet up with them at a bar that’s not far from the arena, and you grab a round of drinks before you head into the game. The four co-workers you meet up with take note of your Pettersson jersey, and you smile, satisfied with their praises. A couple of them are sporting jerseys too, one with Horvat and the other with a Boeser. You don’t mention that you know the guy who actually wears number 6, and when he scores the game winning goal you cheer just as loud as everyone else, but secretly you’d like to think it was because he knew you were there in the stands. 

When you get home after the game you shoot Brock a quick text.

You: nice goal tonight! i think this pettersson jersey is lucky! (10:54pm)

You: this is y/n btw (10:54pm)

You’re not sure if he’ll reply so you set your phone down and start to go through your nightly routine. A few minutes later you hear your phone buzz from your night stand. 

Brock: petey didn’t even score tonight and you’re still talking about him? maybe i’ll just take that jersey back (11:01pm)

You: hey, no take backs. but it was a very nice goal!  (11:03pm)

Brock: how was your first game? (11:07pm)

You: my second favorite player scored, my team won, and my co-workers were impressed with my vast hockey knowledge so i’d say it went pretty well! (11:13pm)

You spend some time debating on how to word your message, not wanting to send a reply too fast, and not wanting to seem to flirty, but you still let yourself tease him a little bit more before hitting send. 

Brock: HAHA. very funny. (11:14pm)

Brock: i’m glad you had a good time. (11:14pm)

Brock: we’ll have to get you to more games. it looks like you might be good luck. (11:15pm)

*

Sunday morning is your time to relax. You try not to do any work and opt to take some time for yourself. This can take many forms, like lounging around the house or even reorganizing your bathroom. Today you opt for baking. You bake a couple dozen brownies and place them in a container before slipping on some shoes to head up a few floors. 

You hadn’t given it much thought until you were standing outside of his apartment door, but the two really only interact in the hallways or elevator and you’ve never been to each other’s apartments. The brownies in your hand are probably getting colder by the minute, and you know they taste the best when they’re still warm so you convince yourself to bring your knuckles to the door. 

The person who answers the door isn’t Brock. The boy who answers is shorter and has dark hair. You recognize him as Quinn Hughes. Brock told you once that they call him huggy bear, but you’re not totally sure you know why. 

“Uh-“ There aren’t words coming out of his mouth, it’s more like an awkward sound that you think it is meant to convey some sort of confusion. 

“Um, Is Brock here?” You ask, offering a smile to the boy in front of you. 

“Oh, yeah. Um, come on in.” Quinn doesn’t really know if he should be letting someone into his friends apartment, but Brock made him answer the door so he didn’t feel so bad about inviting a stranger in. 

You walk through the door and take in Brock’s home. It’s similar to yours, but slightly bigger. He lives on a different side of the building so the windows are slightly different too. You follow Quinn into the living room where you see Elias and Brock and Jake Virtanen sitting on the couch playing video games. The dogs notice you first as you walk in and Quinn nudges Brock telling him someone is here for him before he turns around to see you. 

“Y/N! To what do we owe the pleasure?” He asks as he stands from the couch. 

“I uh, I just wanted to bring you these. I figured it’s the least I could do since you got me that lucky Pettersson jersey.” He lets out a solid laugh at that. You liked it when he laughed like that. He lets his head hang back and his hand rests on his stomach. 

“Well thank you. You really didn’t have to do that.” He says as you hand him the box of brownies. He walks over to the kitchen counter and pulls the lid off.  The smell of freshly baked brownies starts to fill the room, and the other boys are at the counter before you know it. 

“Oh shit. Those look good.” Jake says as he eyes the baked goods.

The boys are quiet for the next couple minutes except for some humming and “yum” sounds that escape between bites.  A couple dozen brownies is apparently no match for four hockey players. You swear half the box vanishes in front of your eyes as they compliment you on your baking abilities. You mentally thank your mom for the perfected family recipe that you practically have memorized. They make friendly conversation, besides Quinn who has remained rather quiet, except for offering a few side comments or sounds of agreement. Eventually Elias asks you more about how your first game hockey game went. 

Elias is observant and incredibly well spoken, and he’s making what could have been an awkward situation a very pleasant one. He guides most of the conversation as Brock becomes more comfortable with the dynamic of you being there with his other friends. It’s cute how close Brock and Elias are. Even just standing in the kitchen you can tell the two of them have a bond that’s different than the ones between the other boys. Brock is sometimes shy and blushy when the two of you talk, but with his friends he’s more bold and sure of himself. 

The small talk is getting thin, and you’re about to politely end the conversation and tell them you should go when Jake asks how you and Brock know each other. You don’t know why you hesitate, but you do, and you look at Brock who is standing next to you. Before you can decide how to answer Brock replies simply, “We went to UND together back in the day.”

“I guess we don’t really know each other very well, but we had some mutual friends.” You try to add and clarify.  

“Oh cool,” Jake replies, not really giving it much thought. “So are you liking the city so far?” he asks. 

“I like it a lot , I just haven’t had a lot of free time outside of work to explore. But, my co-workers finally like me since I know all about hockey now, and the one girl in our office is my best and only friend!” You laugh at yourself a bit, because you know it sounds a little sad that you’re a young twenty-something with zero signs of a social life. It earns some laughs from the guys too. 

“You should come out with us next weekend, you gotta experience Vancouver’s night life! Plus, we’re celebrating my dog’s birthday!” Jake exclaims, and you can see Elias rolling his eyes and Brock and Quinn are both laughing while shaking their heads. 

You look between the boys, a bit confused, “Your what? Your dog’s birthday?” 

Jake laughs too when you seem so confused about it, “It seemed like a good excuse to go out. Gotta keep it loose, ya know?” He seems serious about this and you can’t help but laugh. The guys explain that they don’t get out too often during the season, and some of them don’t even like going out, but sometimes it’s good to just let loose with the boys. Jake is one who particularly enjoys a good night out, and so occasionally when the boys haven’t frequented a bar in a while, he comes up with “reasons to celebrate.” Elias sounds like a dad when he says that they all just go along with it to make Jake happy, and Jake looks like a little kid when he rolls his eyes at them. He’s also quick to make the point that they always end up having a good time. 

“You obviously don’t have to come, but I think it’ll be fun, and you should bring your friend. Her name’s Jade, right?” You’ve talked to Brock about Jade a couple times in the past, but you didn’t really think he would have listened that intently or that he would remember your co-workers name. It’s nice knowing that he does. 

“Yeah, it’s Jade. I guess I could ask her if she’s free and let you know.” You tell him, still contemplating if you even want to go out to some busy club on a Saturday night. 

*

“So, uh— What are you doing this weekend?” You ask Jade, your co-worker as you walk into her office. She’s the only other girl in your office, and you’ve become good friends over the last few months. Her dark hair and dark features match her bold and strong personality. Jade constantly bugs you to get out more, especially on the weekends, but you usually curb her requests saying that you’re still getting settled into the new city. This excuse was wearing thin since you’ve been here almost four months now, and you knew you would have to give in to her requests soon. Instead, you’ve opted to invite her to go out with Brock and his friends this weekend. Or rather, pray she would go with you because there was no way you were going alone. 

“I don’t know, probably nothing because my friend is a loner who doesn’t ever leave her house.” Jade looks over at you with a knowing expression causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Your loner friend actually wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out this weekend.” You say mimicking her cadence.  “That guy from college who lives in my building is celebrating his friend’s dog’s birthday, so him and some of their friends are all going out.” When you explain why Brock’s friends are going out you realize again just how ridiculous it sounds, and you know it’s not really why they’re going to a bar to get hammered, but you relay the information anyway. 

You told Jade about “the guy from college” that you had run into in your apartment building, but you didn’t tell her that the guy was Brock Boeser. You were sure she knew who he was, even if she wasn’t shy with her discontent with sports. She’s just not a sports person, but anyone in Vancouver would immediately recognize the name of one of their biggest players. All you told her was that you had gone to UND together and that you had never really been friends, just that you had mutual friends. 

She never asked more about who he was, but she did ask if he was cute. You couldn’t lie, it would be sinful to do so about a man who was as good looking as Brock, so you told her the truth. You also told her how good of a guy he was and that he never hesitates to start a conversation with you. Since then, she has asked for regular updates on your interactions together. Even though you withheld some crucial information, you still told her about how he liked talking about hockey and that he had gotten you some Canucks gear to wear to the game. When you told her about that she insisted that he liked you, and part of you wanted to believe that, but another part of you knew that you and Brock still barely knew each other. 

He seems really sweet, but you can’t help but feel like he still has plenty of girls vying for his attention. Girls who are prettier and smarter and nicer than you. When you think back to those brief interactions with him it still gives you a feeling of anxiety. It’s the kind of anxiety that you get when you remember something embarrassing you did as a kid or when you’re trying to fall asleep and you remember that you said “you too” to the barista who said “come again!” Either way, you weren’t convinced that your limited interactions warranted any feelings on either of your parts, so you continued to try to suppress your growing feelings for him.

Luckily, Jade was happy to oblige your request of going out. She asked if your friend had any cute single friends, and while you weren’t quite sure if they were single, you said yes figuring that one of them had to be.

“Y/N, It’s me!” You hear Jade come in through your apartment door that you had left unlocked for her. It’s Saturday night and you’re getting ready to go out with Brock and his teammates. You still haven’t told Jade who he is, and you’re hoping she doesn’t freak out when she finds out. 

“I’m in my closet!” You shout back to Jade as she makes her way through your apartment. She finds you sitting inside your walk-in closet, trying to decide what to wear, “I’m having a crisis. I have no idea what I should wear.” You look over at her precisely curated outfit that’s perfect for a night out. She looks hot and it’s just enough to not be overdone. He hair is flawlessly sleek and her make up looks like an artist painted it on. 

“Stop moping. You’re just nervous because he’s cute and you like him. Go make us some drinks and I’ll pick out your outfit.” You don’t put up a fight, knowing that she’ll probably be able to piece together a great ensemble that you never would have thought of. Your strengths were probably better suited for making cocktails anyway, so you go to the kitchen and whip up a couple of drinks. 

On your way back to your room you turn on your “going out” playlist that hasn’t been touched in ages, and when the first drop of alcohol touches your tongue you automatically feel less anxious. She’s right, you totally have a crush on this guy, and you’re super nervous about going out with him and his friends. What’s worse, is that this was pretty much a pity invite, and him and his friends feel bad that you don’t know anyone else in the city.  

Brock’s night was going somewhat similarly to yours. When Elias got to his apartment for the pregame he found Brock standing in only his boxers with a pile of clothes covering his closet floor. Elias couldn’t help but laugh at him. He hasn’t seen Brock act this way about a girl in a long time. Come to think of it, he’s not even sure if he’s ever seen Brock act like this. Brock was sensitive, but he wasn’t anxious like this. He wouldn’t get tied up in things like what to wear or what to say to a girl. He did however, have the issue of falling way too hard way too fast, ending up in situations where girls left him after they got what they wanted. Over the years he’s learned how to guard his heart a bit better, and his friends, Elias especially, were always there to protect him. 

Elias likes you. He liked you the minute he met you. He was intuitive and was a good judge of character, which made him and Brock a good pair. Brock has a tendency to trust a little too much, but now Elias is there to help guide him toward the right people. When Brock introduced you to Elias, he could immediately tell that you were a good person. He could see it in your eyes, and in your genuine appreciation that Brock would recognize and say hello to you. Elias liked that you were sprightly enough to make a joke about knowing who he was. Most of all, he liked how Brock talked about you. Elias immediately recognizes when Brock has had a conversation with you before practice or a game. He comes in with a little pep in his step, that causes some of the guys to question if he got laid the night before, but now Elias recognizes that he must have seen you on his way to work. Brock gushes about your interactions and about how cute you are when you explain the hockey things you learn.  The day that you told him Elias was your favorite player Brock was so excited to tell him. He wasn’t even mad, he just loved how light hearted willing to joke around you were. 

Brock occasionally thinks back on the times he saw you after that first night at UND. He thinks about what would have happened if your boyfriend hadn’t been waiting for you outside of your dorm. It’s not that he thinks he would have gotten lucky or that you would have cheated on your boyfriend with him, it’s just that maybe if you had had a bit more time to get to know each other you could have at least become friends.  And maybe that friendship could have grown into something more and you would have broken up with that asshole to be with him. Brock thinks about what could have been, but he also knows that hindsight is 20/20. He doesn’t consider himself a superstitious guy, but he can’t help but think that you came to Vancouver for a reason. 

When your wardrobe crisis has been averted, you’re fully dressed in skinny jeans and a cute top that’s revealing enough but doesn’t exactly come right out and say “I want to have your babies right now.” (That’s how Jade described it, anyway.) The two of you have had a round of drinks and you decide that it’s probably an appropriate time to head up to Brock’s. You didn’t want to get there too early and be the only ones there, so you made Jade wait it out in your apartment until it was at least thirty minutes after the time he had said to come. 

Brock texted you letting you know the door was unlocked, and when you get out of the elevator you can already hear music playing from behind his door. “I can already feel it. This is going to be fun!” Jade tells you excitedly as you reach out for the doorknob. You laugh thinking about how she has no idea she’s about to be drinking with a bunch of professional hockey players for the night. 

When you open the door you see some of the guys you’ve met mulling about, most of them with drinks in their hands. Brock comes up to you almost immediately. Without even thinking he wraps you in a hug, and it feels so natural even though you’ve never had any sort of physical interaction with him. Your suspicions were right, he gives the best hugs, and you wish that you could stand there in his warm arms forever, but it only lasts a second before he’s pulling away and turning his attention to your friend who looks likes she’s surprised to see Brock Boeser hugging her coworker and Elias Pettersson coming up behind him to say hello. 

“Okay, you didn’t tell me that “your friend” was Brock fucking Boeser.” She doesn’t even try to whisper it, and it’s kind of what you love about her. She just expresses herself freely, and it’s honestly so funny when she says it.  It has Brock’s head falling back as he lets out a laugh. 

Brock and Elias introduce you and Jade to the other guys who are in the apartment. There are a couple girlfriends among them and even though they all look like they just walked out of an instagram ad, they all seem genuinely nice and aren’t nearly as intimidating as you thought they would be. You don’t get too much time to mingle before Jake informs the group that the “birthday party” is ready to move to the bars, followed by packing into various Ubers. 

When you’re all at the bar, a few other guys show up, some single and definitely ready to mingle, but to your surprise some have even brought their wives. The drinks are flowing and you’re actually having fun. You notice that Jade and Jake have spent a lot of time talking, and he offers to get her a drink before they head off to the bar. You laugh, and shake your head as she turns back to give you wink before heading off with the hockey player. 

You turn your attention back to the guys standing around the table, when one of them asks you, “So, how do you two know each other? I feel like somebody said you went to UND?” It’s Brandon Sutter, you didn’t recognize him when Brock first introduced you, seeing as most of the photos you’ve seen of him include a hockey helmet covering most of his face. It’s probably the alcohol— no, it’s definitely the alcohol that has you responding to his question, “Yeah, we went to UND together, but we didn’t really hang out or anything, I think everyone just thought I was massive bitch.” You laugh, but you can see some confusion setting in on Brock’s expression. Brandon laughs too, not thinking much of what you said. 

“What do you mean?” Brock asks. He never thought of you that way back in college. He knew that guy you dated was jerk. He dimmed your light, and that wasn’t your fault. 

“I don’t know, I just figured you guys all thought I was kind of a bitch because I just hung out with my boyfriend all the time.” You don’t really know what else to say, thinking back to those days where you would follow Owen around like a lost puppy. 

“I don’t think anybody thought that, we just thought your boyfriend was dick.” He says, and before you can say anything else he adds, “No offense. He just didn’t seem like he treated you very well. That night he yelled at you in front of the dorm when he found out you went to our party left a pretty bitter taste in my mouth.” 

“Sounds like a dick, to me.” Quinn says matter-of-factly. You’re sure it’s the alcohol for him too, he’s been more talkative in the last hour than he has been in the two other times you’ve seen him. 

“Yeah, he was.” You answer back.

“So I guess you’re not still dating this guy, are you?” Brandon asks. You can feel sets of eyes all resting on you now, like you’re about to reveal a big secret. 

“No no, we broke up right before senior year of college. I dated a little in grad school, but when I found out I was moving to Canada I didn’t really bother with trying to find boyfriend.” You tell them, as they nod in response.

The rest of the night isn’t as serious. Jade and Jake tear up the dance floor, and when she nudges you to signal she’s leaving with him you tell her to wrap before she taps it, earning a laugh and wave goodbye. Brock stays by your side the entire night, neither of you wanting to join the others dancing. His arm stays perched on the back of the booth you’re in, while you listen to JT tell some elaborate story from their recent road trip. 

When Brock sees you yawn for the third time in a row he asks if you’re ready to head home. “Yeah, I’m tired. I’ll probably just head home soon.” You think he might offer to go back with you, but you don’t want to assume. Instead of yelling over the loud music he just nods and pulls out his phone. He tells the boys that you’re both heading out and they all say goodbye before Brock nudges you out of the booth. 

On the car ride home he asks you what you thought of the boys, laughing when your first response is that there are just so many of them. “It’s like trying to keep track of puppies. They’re there one second and then they’re off doing something else the next,” You laugh at yourself thinking about how many of them probably have undiagnosed ADHD, or maybe some of them are diagnosed. “But it’s cute, you guys are like a little family.” This earns one of those genuine Brock Boeser smiles. He’s proud of his little family. He loves them all, and he’s glad that you like them because he can tell they like you too. 

That night out leads to a few more texts back and forth, and eventually to full on conversations that go one for days at a time. One night he asked what you were doing and you told him you were going to watch the Battle of Alberta game. You had heard a lot about this rivalry since you embarked on your hockey education, and you figured you should see what all the hype was about. To your surprise, Brock asked if he could join you, and the two you spent the night watching hockey from your couch. 

You hadn’t watched a game this intense before, and when Matthew Tkachuk drops his gloves to fight Zack Kassian, Brock can tell you’re on edge. You knew there were fights in hockey, and you had watched a few clips on youtube, but it seemed more real watching it in realtime. You wondered what it would be like to see something like that in person. As the two players are ushered off the ice, you can’t help but wonder if Brock would ever find himself in a situation like that, and when you ask him if he ever fights during games he chuckles a bit before he answers, “No, I’m not really the fighting type. I think it’s better for everyone if I leave that up to guys like Zack and Jordie.” 

You’re not totally convinced by this, and you don’t like that the thought of Brock in a fight makes you feel so sick. He can sense your hesitation and he wants to try to ease your mind, “When fights like that break out, it’s usually because both players have agreed to it. You can see that they’re talking right before, they’re asking each other if they want to do it.” He narrates as the fight replays on your TV. “Occasionally someone will still throw a punch even if the other guy says no, but that’s not common. It’s kind of an unspoken rule that you have to stand up for your team, so most guys who are asked will fight, but I’m not usually the guy in that position. I haven’t fought once in the NHL, and I plan to keep it that way. I’d get rag-dolled by both of those guys.” He says pointing back to where the players now sit in their respective boxes.

It’s nice to know that Brock hasn’t fought anyone before, but you still worry about him getting hurt. What if he was the one who got caught by a bad hit? You can’t keep thinking about things you can’t control, so you try your best to shift your attention back to the game. 

You and Brock find yourselves in each others apartments more often after that. The two of you will make dinner and watch a game, or just watch TV for the night. Occasionally you walk down to the coffee shop on the corner together or walk over to the park with Coolie and Milo. You’ve started to become friends, and you feel like Brock is letting you get to know him more and more everyday. The conversation is easier, and the flirting is probably more noticeable than either of you thinks it is. Your positions on the couch have drifted from opposite sides of the couch to having your thighs touching while his arm sits, resting behind you across the back of the couch. He always greets you with a big hug, and lately you’ve noticed his arms lingering around your body a little bit longer than the time before

He hasn’t made a move yet, and you haven’t either. You think that maybe he just isn’t interested in getting closer, and you’re admittedly too self-conscious to try to make a move yourself. Tonight os just like any other night that the two of you spend together but you don’t notice that Brock is pretty far gone in his thoughts. That may be because you’re lost in your own as well. A few minutes later his voice brings you back to reality, “Are you okay?” You look up from where you’ve been staring down at the wine glass in your hand. You’re sitting at his kitchen counter, and he’s standing on the other side of the island looking back at you. You tell him you’re fine but you can see that he doesn’t buy it for a second. 

“You know you’re like a really good guy, right?” You ask him, after taking another sip of wine. 

He smiles back at you with a bit questioning in his eye, “I mean I’d like to think that I’m not too bad.” He says back. 

“No, Brock. You’re like really good. You help old ladies at the grocery store, and you talk about your nephew like he’s your own kid, and you’re nice to me when you really don’t have to be.”  You try to tell him just how genuinely good he is. You wish you could explain it more eloquently and you wish you could show him how good of heart he has. 

“That just sounds like normal people stuff,” he replies with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

He would say something like that, and think that normal people were just as nice as he is, and maybe they were, but the people that you’ve met throughout your life have somewhat tainted that idea for you.

“I think maybe you don’t realize how good you are.” He says back, looking you directly in the eyes. “You’re a good person, and just because I knew you back when you dated some jerk in college, doesn’t mean that it has any impact on how I feel about you now.” He’s so serious in this moment, and not at all like the usual lighthearted guy you’re used to. Somehow he knew just where your insecurities laid. He’s so genuine and honest sometimes that it hurts and the butterflies you feel in your stomach are getting harder and harder to ignore. 

The two of you don’t talk much for the rest of the night, and instead settle in a comfortable silence while Brock catches up on the episodes of Gossip Girl that Elias watched without him. Brock isn’t paying attention to what is happening on his TV. His mind is way too busy thinking of what he’s going to do next. The guys have all been pestering him to get a move on, saying that he’ll miss his window of opportunity with you, and he knows that they’re right. If he’s lucky he hasn’t missed his opportunity yet, but if not, he might just be screwed. 

He doesn’t even notice when his eyes shift away from the screen and move to rest on you. He’s taking his time, studying every feature, taking in every soft curve of your face. He loves the subtle crinkles on the sides of your eyes that deepen when you smile, and it’s even better when it happens because of something he said or did. If he could, he would make sure that smile stayed on your face for every second of the day. Your hair flows naturally without being fixed and he knows that you often let strands fall in front of your eyes when you’re too concentrated on your work or like now, when you’re invested in the show that you’re watching. 

Without a thought, and on instinct alone, Brock slowly moves his hand up toward your face and softly tucks the strand of hair behind your ear. You’re a bit caught off guard at first, but you remain still as you feel his fingers linger on the side of your neck. Eventually you let your eyes meet his and you realize just how close you are to him. The two of you stay like that for a minute, staring at each other, taking each other in. It’s too easy to get lost in Brock’s ocean-like eyes, and you swear you hear the enchanting sound of waves crashing on a beach.  

You’ve been staring at each other for what feels like too long, and you’re about to pull away when you feel Brock’s hand on the side of your face again. He’s slowly inching toward you and his eyes are still glued to yours. He’s searching for any source of panic or concern in your eyes, but he doesn’t find any. Your heart has taken over at this point and you can’t keep yourself away any longer, before you lean in and your lips finally meet his. 

Kissing Brock feels like everything good in the world. It’s feels like the first time you road a bike or the first time you tasted ice cream. It’s new and invigorating and yet you feel totally safe and secure. Before you know it, you’re deepening the kiss and Brock lets you lead him to where you’re comfortable. It just so happens that you find comfort when you reposition yourself so that your legs are straddling his and his hands are resting on your hips. It’s only when your hips shift on top of him and he can’t help but let out a deep moan that also he makes himself pull away from you. It’s then when you start to panic, and think that maybe this was a mistake, maybe he’s realizing that now. 

“I don’t want you to think that I just want this.” He says as he motions to the small space separating your bodies. “I don’t want this to just be a one-time thing…” he mutters out, like he’s a bit embarrassed, and nervous that you won’t want the same thing. 

“Brock, the only reason I wouldn’t want this is if you didn’t want it. But if you do, then I do too.” You say steadily. Brock smiles and it’s one of those big toothy smiles he only shares when he’s truly happy. You can’t say anything because you’re just as elated, so instead you lean down to kiss him again. 

*

It’s only been a short six months since that night on Brock’s couch, but now you get to call his bed your own, and when you come home to your shared apartment you’re greeted by your beautiful blond boyfriend and your two dogs. Brock insists that you’re their adoptive mom now, and to make it official he bought the two of you matching hats that say “Dog Mom AF” and “Dog Dad AF.” You both wear them when you walk your fury kids together and even though you tell him you think they’re cheesy he knows that you love them.

Brock is somehow everything you need him to be. He’s strong when you’re not and he makes you laugh when you’re sad, but most of all he’s your steady companion. It’s crazy now, thinking back to when you met him. You were just a kid, barely out of high school, and you really hadn’t had the chance to think about what you actually wanted for your life. 

Then you graduated, went to graduate school, and started to find out who you were without a boy to dictate the ins and outs of your life. When you were given the opportunity to move to Vancouver you saw it as a new beginning, but you didn’t realize that it was going to be a gift to more than one part of your life. Your work life and your career goals were finally falling into place and that just left one more thing—your love life. You had stopped worrying so much about finding a boyfriend along the way as you focused on yourself, but when Brock Boeser reentered your life you couldn’t ignore it. 

Brock’s reemergence was a surprise to say the least, but now you both see that it was a gift of a second chance. When you first met, neither of you were ready for the kind of commitment you now share with each other, and you know now more than ever that those years with Owen and the years you spent alone were all worth it, because when history repeats itself you have the power to change the narrative. 

[sneezefiction]

of night owls & early birds

Kuroo x Reader

desc: Kuroo, your roommate and longtime best friend, likes you but he really dislikes your sleep schedule. alternatively, your crush gets up way too early and you “suffer the consequences.”

a/n: the irony of working on this fic at 5 am doesn’t escape me… but it also hasn’t assuaged my awful sleep patterns. i hope you enjoy!!

warnings: school/general anxiety, crass/offbeat humor (jokes about planning your own funeral), idk if you’re scared of love don’t read this - it’s very fluffy.

wc: 3.6k

--- You’re screwed, you think, as a light flickers on just outside of your room. It illuminates the carpet underneath your doorway with a warm orange tint.

And though it shouldn’t make your heart jump into your throat, it does.

You’d promised, swore to Kuroo, that you’d be asleep by 2 am - and to him, even that was a stretch. But he should count himself lucky that you’d even agreed to his demands at all. 

After all, he is well-versed in the world of night owls.

Kenma, though maybe not your kindred spirit, shares at least a couple of qualities with you. Kuroo likes refer to these “qualities” as crimes.

One of these crimes (and quite possibly Kuroo’s least favorite) is your god-awful sleep schedule. And you’re a repeated offender.

There was only so much nagging and bickering you could take before you’d cracked and told exactly him what he wanted to hear. In a flurry of words, you’d agreed to turn off your laptop, close up your textbooks and actually put your head to a pillow.

You also may have been bribed.

To sweeten this deal, Kuroo had promised to buy you pizza this upcoming Friday, given that you actually did get some rest.

But as you reluctantly lift your phone, the glass screen glowing a little too brightly, you realize that it’s already 5:30 am.

You grimace.

It’s Tuesday morning. Meaning that the repetitive beeping across the hall is Kuroo’s alarm.

Your lips press into a firm line. Most birds don’t even get up at such a godless hour.

You can’t help but wonder what it’s like to have a functional morning routine. Or a morning routine at all.

Leaning back in your plastic desk chair, you squeeze your eyes shut. 

It stings.

You probably got so caught up staring at the blob-like words on your computer screen that, somewhere in the process, your body had forgotten how to blink.

And while the tension in your neck and shoulders is painful, it’s nothing in comparison to the festering guilt of not listening to your longtime best friend and now roommate (a suspiciously well-intentioned college boy who had somehow managed to win your heart over the course of this fall semester.)

Thinking back, working on your final English assignment at midnight wasn’t the brightest of ideas. It wasn’t even due for another week. But as due dates loomed, the impending fear of a bad grade had begun to burrow deeply within you.

If you could just pump the brakes on deadline anxiety, you wouldn’t feel so pressured to type incoherent sentences at odd and empty hours of the night.

And maybe Kuroo wouldn’t feel the need to coerce you into a firmer sleep schedule. Though you do find this caring habit of his to be inexplicably endearing. 

Thus, the prickling feeling continues to infiltrate your restless mind and the brewing concoction of anxiety and guilt in your tummy makes you feel uneasy.

But before you can sneak into bed and tuck yourself inconspicuously under the covers, you hear a floorboard creak. 

As if on instinct, you hold in a breath.

Kuroo isn’t one to forget about little promises. Of course, he’d want to know if you’d made good on your side of the deal. 

Gently, you close your laptop and swivel your chair to face the door. You still your movements, keeping your body taut against the back of your chair.

More soft steps fall just outside of your room.

Your eyes can’t pick a place to land, so they choose to wander. And with a quick scan of your room, it doesn’t take you long to realize that your bedside lamp had been left on - an instant giveaway.

You begin planning for your funeral. 

However, if it were up to you, you wouldn’t go out this way. You prepare yourself for death by interrogation or shame-induced coma.

Regrettably, neither options seem very interesting to you. If you ask politely, maybe your friends will engrave a portion of an epic poem into your gravestone just to make your passing seem more sophisticated. Yeah, that sounds nice and pretentious.

Okay, you might be overdramatizing things - Kuroo would never send you to your grave. But that doesn’t change the fact that your psyche likes to play tricks on you in the wee hours of the morning and that the eerie quality of the atmosphere somehow reminds you of a cemetery.

As you sort through who-gets-what on your will, there’s a not so sudden knock on your door. The soft tap makes your heart skip for two reasons:

The first being that you still haven’t gotten used to the fluttering in your chest from him being present all the time. Developing a crush on him (and suspecting feeling on his side) had made you a little jumpier over the past few months.

And the second had to do with the fact that you were actually going to have to talk to him about this. To apologize for being a bold-faced liar. It wasn’t clear to you whether you’d be teased or reprimanded. And honestly? You’re not sure which option would feel worse.

So you take a breath and steel yourself.

“Y/n?” A gravelly voice sounds from outside your room.

It’s tainted with sleep. You shiver.

There’s a preemptive sigh, “C’mon y/n, your light is on. I know you’re awake.”

You’ve been caught, so there’s no point in prolonging it.

“...You can come in.” You reply meekly, clenching and unclenching your fists.

The door cracks open.

That soft orange hall light floods into your room and directly into your eyes. With a squint, you try to fully visualize Kuroo. He’s positioned himself so that he’s leaning in your doorway with his arms crossed.

Before coming to grips with the situation, you scan the boy up and down. Amusingly, you realize that he has to duck his head just to fit underneath the door header - he really is tall. You have to wonder if he’ll ever stop growing.

Aside from his intensified bedhead (which doesn’t shock you) and the sleepiness in his eyes, he looks normal. But you must look positively spooked, because the moment he sees you, there’s a flicker of humor in his golden eyes… and an almost invisible smirk.

At least he isn’t angry. That fact alone allows you to let out the breath you’ve been holding in. Anger isn’t really a trait you’d ascribe to him anyway.

“It’s funny…” He wonders aloud, “I thought we’d agreed to something yesterday.” Kuroo brings a mocking hand to his chin in a thinking motion.

Your body naturally begins to shrink into your seat. You want to sigh, protest, explain yourself… anything to keep him from lecturing you. But, technically, you deserve this. 

“I’m pretty sure you promised me you’d be in bed, asleep,” He emphasizes “by 2 am…”

“And” he adds, motioning evenly to your set up, “I highly doubt you’re up early just to get work done.”

You bite your lip while gripping and releasing the fabric of your sweatpants.

Kuroo isn’t a mind reader by any extent, but the body has a language of its own. Right now, your actions are murmuring signs of discomfort. And exhaustion, according to your dark circles.

Kuroo heaves out something between a sigh and a yawn before he takes another couple of steps into your room. 

The sound of mattress springs and rustled bed sheets gets you to turn your head toward him, though you hesitate to meet his gaze.

He makes himself comfortable.

This is a familiar scene, Kuroo invading your space. Well, it’s less of an invasion and more of an unspoken agreement that the both of you can ‘come and go as you please’ in regards to bedrooms, granted that the “invader” knocks first.

Essentially, if Kuroo wanted company, he would find his way to you and plop himself on the edge of your bed. You would do likewise. The interaction could last 5 minutes or 3 hours depending on your mental stamina that day.

In a way, it mimicked your childhood - going over to Kenma’s and knocking relentlessly on his bedroom door until he finally let you and Kuroo tumble through the doorway together. The only difference now is in the way that you spend time together. Conversations become deeper a lot faster. Belly-laughs after a miserable day of classes are considered sacred. Study sessions are done shoulder to shoulder and with a myriad of disgusted faces when frustrated with a particularly tricky problem.

But this is different from your usual conversations. It’s sickeningly early, you haven’t slept a wink, and a tidal wave of stress from this entire semester is finally crashing into you.

“I’m sorry,” You start softly, fiddling with your fingers, “I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about this expository essay I’ve been working on and my mind is totally numb. I’m so stressed out by all of these-”

“-Classes.” He finishes for you.

You swallow, bobbing your head softly in confirmation.

 “I get it.”

And just by looking at him, you know he understands. For someone so laid back and put together, Kuroo’s eyes could speak a novel’s worth of emotion and information at any given moment.

“But you’ve already spent more than enough time on it.”

Have I really? Have I actually done enough? Because it feels like I’m failing. Like I can’t seem to finish what I’ve started. I can’t even complete this paper.

But at least Kuroo sounds resolute. 

He’s stating a fact, not an opinion.

And he’s not trying to be unempathetic. He does get it, he really does.

But Kuroo also sees how hard you work already. And he knows all too well that there’s only so much work you can get done in one night. You’ve got enough on your plate even without your classes, so having the extra academic pressure is just the cherry on top.

“Mm,” you hum, “yeah, I guess you of all people would know.” You hunch over and rest your elbows on your thighs, using your hands to prop your head up.

He’d been there at your most and least productive moments. On days when you were cranking out a few thousand words and nights when you could only jot down a few sentences. Hell, Kuroo had even volunteered to help you edit and format it when the time came. What kind of person offers to do that before they’ve even been asked to?

It’s just another feature of his charm, you suppose.

But you still feel stuck. Like you’re a boat stranded in the middle of the ocean and you just can’t seem the muster up the strength to pull up the anchor. The anxiety lingers.

“...It just doesn’t feel like it’s ever enough, y’know?” You breathe out.

There it is. Finally out in the open.

And Kuroo hums thoughtfully to himself.

He’s been there.

Not knowing if the effort he put into his work was having any actual effect. Being unsure as to when he should stop taking responsibility for something. Putting work, classes, and people before himself.

It’s draining; a swirling spin-cycle of exhaustion.

But he’s also been learning that “enough” is subjective. So he decides to say just that.

“Enough is a pretty vague word, don’t you think?”

You blink. 

Yeah, you suppose it is. 

Hopefully this isn’t another one of his bizarre epiphanies - the kind that makes you think your brain is going to implode. Sometimes Kuroo could be a little too philosophical for his and your own good. But you humor him anyway.

Shifting in your seat, you give him a stiff nod.

Satisfied with your understanding, he proceeds with his thought.

“What I mean is that we probably have totally different definitions of enough...” he drawls on, “... and different standards too.”

“Okay...”

“What I mean is that-” He sighs, running a hand through his hair, “-what’s ‘enough’ to you may not be ‘enough’ to me. And vice versa.”

Kuroo tilts his head back, brows furrowing in thought. He’s grasping for the right way to put it.

“Y/n, I think you’ve done enough. You’ve worked hard,” he points out, “and I don’t think I know anyone who deserves a break more than you do.”

That makes you pause. You lift your head up to catch his gaze - his eyes are already studying your expression. Something inside of you stops functioning because never have you seen such raw sincerity. Or maybe you have, but you’re only just now noticing it.

He gives you a gentle smile. It makes your chest ache.

“You mean it?” You half-whisper.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

You’ve known this for years now, but Kuroo truly has a way with words. They had the ability to pierce like a harpoon or stick sweetly to you like warm honey. Even with a few (thousand) shitty jokes littered throughout your conversations, it’s only natural to be awestruck by him. By his ability to make even the most awkward of situations a little more bearable. How he subliminally knows how to soothe and temper you. You think he would make a really great businessman - he’s quite persuasive; a real salesperson.

One part of you wants to apologize to him again. Another part wants to jump up and kiss him. To tear up and cry in his arms with relief. You chalk these potential reactions up to exhaustion and hormones… but you don’t write them off entirely.

Because suddenly being 3 feet apart feels like miles. And your bed is looking terribly comfortable.

“Mind if I join you?” You ask, but you’re already moving from your seat.

He gives you an indifferent shrug - though he feels anything but.

“It’s your bed.” 

Oh, you’re well aware of that fact. You can already feel heat rising to your face.

You stand up slowly, raising your arms to the ceiling in one final attempt to stretch. Then softly, you place a knee to the mattress and wedge yourself on the rest of the way until you’re sitting crisscrossed in front of him. He shifts his torso so that it’s facing you.

And now that you’re finally eye to eye, you can breathe.

He may be your crush, but you feel strangely comfortable in his presence. You always have. It’s part of what makes Kuroo... well, Kuroo. He embodies security while still pushing you out of your comfort zone. And for that, you’re grateful.

You break the silence.

“I really am sorry,” you echo your earlier apology.

You undoubtedly are. And you’re not sure why it feels like such a heavy thing to say over something as menial as a good night’s sleep.

“Hey, hey,” He soothes, reaching a hand over to ruffle your hair, “it’s no big deal, alright?”

You send him a half-hearted glare but it immediately breaks into a soft smile. His hand lingers for a moment longer than it should before he draws it away. You miss the teasing touch.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to maintain eye-contact, but even as you look away, you note that his eyes remain concentrated on you. You can’t tell if it’s you who has moved closer or if he has. Either way, those few inches of distance have narrowed by a decent margin.

“I honestly just wanted you to get some rest. You’ve had it rough and by the looks of it-” He scans your face like he’s trying to diagnose you with something.

“Hey, watch it-” You warn, narrowing your eyes.

You already know you look tired. Kuroo loves reminding you of that in his own little way.

He smirks playfully, continuing anyway.

“-You could really use the sleep.” Kuroo’s raspy voice trails off.

“But apparently even pizza isn’t a convincing enough strategy.” He gives you a lopsided grin.

You shake your head, “Oh no, no, the pizza was very convincing.”

He scoffs, “Was it, now?” Raising his eyebrows in mock surprise, “Because you seem very awake to me.”

“Can’t we just blame this on the paper, please?” You sigh.

He furrows his brows in contemplation, “Hmm, no. I don’t think so. This is partially your fault.” A rather underwhelming response.

“A small part.”

“I’d say it's fifty-fifty.” He reasons with a raised eyebrow.

Rolling your eyes, you respond, “Okay, you can quit whatever-” You gesture to his expression, “this is.” He always managed to pull the strangest faces and you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making you laugh.

He snorts, “Oh? I thought you liked-” Kuroo gestures to his own face, “whatever this is.”

His voice has a curious edge to it. Some might even call it flirtatious.

And you go quiet. 

You can’t help but stare at him. His messy hair, his barely parted lips. The fact that Kuroo just woken up and somehow still looks this attractive to you is so annoying. So frustrating.

And words are failing you.

It was an innocent comment. He’s just messing with you like he usually does. Maybe this has all gone a little bit too far. You should probably just say good night (or good morning) and rest your eyes.

Yet you can’t shake the feeling that this could be the perfect segway into addressing your relationship.

At literally any other time of day, you might be more rational. You could reason with yourself that this is quite literally the weirdest time to bring up your feelings for him. But something in you needs to close the literal and figurative gap between you two. And, for some indecipherable reason, it has to happen right now.

Whatever the outcome, you trust that Kuroo will always be your safe place.

So you throw caution to the wind.

“Actually, Kuroo…” You begin, staring at your hands which are placed neatly on your lap. “I really do.”

His eyes snap to yours.

This time it’s Kuroo’s turn to go silent in contemplation. Taking in a steady breath becomes an act of labor.

“You… really do what?” He asks slowly, grasping for your intended meaning.

Your heart pounds.

“I really like you.” You clarify.

It isn’t at all eloquent, but it’s sincere. You’d once heard that honesty came easier late at night, but you had no idea that it applied to early mornings as well.

But you finally make sense of the words that just escaped your lips. Panic arises. In an attempt to hide, you bury your face in your hands. You wish you could put the words right back into your mouth.

“I-” You take a deep breath, “I think I spoke without thinking.” Is all you allow yourself to mumble.

You no longer trust yourself with words. 

Your face, your whole body really, feels like it’s on fire. Humiliation begins to wash over you in red hot waves… but you startle when a pair of hands meet your wrists.

You lift your head.

His fingertips are warm and worn. Still decorated with calluses from his years of volleyball back in high school. You want to question why the world has withheld this touch from you for so long.

He lures your hands away from your face, grasping both of them gently. For a sensation so new, it was somehow strikingly familiar. A thumb is meditatively tracing small, slow circles in the middle of your palm.

You gawk in disbelief… and as you scan his face, you catch a hint of pink on his cheeks. You can’t say anything though - your own face feels like it’s just become 1000 degrees warmer.

“I kinda figured you might,” Kuroo breaks the tension rather… bluntly.

Of course he did, wait what?

“But the thing is…”

Is this some sort of rejection? Is he just letting you down gently? Is that why he’s holding your hands like they’re as fragile as fine china? Then why is he looking at you so sweetly, so tenderly-

“I wanted to be the one to say it first.”

You start planning your own funeral again. 

However, this time, emotional whiplash will be your stated cause of death. At least it’s a more unconventional way to go out.

“I- uh,” you swallow, “w- what did you just say?” It comes out as a stammer. 

You’re squeezing his hands a little too tightly. When you recognize your modest death grip around his fingers you loosen your hold.

Kuroo smiles, his eyes crinkling slightly.

It’s nothing like that cunning smirk that you find annoying, yet so adorable. It’s also not one of his full-scale grins. It’s far too simple and reassuring. You almost don’t trust it.

“Well, in short, I like you too,” He re-explains, searching your face for a reaction, “but... I’d hoped to tell you that over pizza on Friday.” Kuroo looks away.

If you weren’t already gaping over his personal confession, you would probably be laughing at this new side of Kuroo. He looks unmistakably bashful.

It takes you a second to recover, but you finally open your mouth to respond...

But you’re cut off by Kuroo, once again. His softened expression is long gone. And, much to your dismay, he’s suddenly shifting himself off of your bed.

“It’s just too bad you didn’t keep up your end of the bargain. I guess that means there’ll be no pizza… no movie… no me.” He slowly releases your hands, knitting his brows together to feign sorrow - it looks hilariously forced, but you’re too worried about the warmth leaving your fingertips to care.

He’s teasing you like you’re his best friend.

And that’s because you are.

So then why does it feel like something’s changed? Like he’s daring you to make the next move?

Before he can pull away and leave, you tug at his hand which draws his whole body toward you.

Your heartrate spikes through the roof. When’s the last time you’ve been this close to someone? To a guy? A guy who’s shown actual living, breathing interest in you.

And he’s in your face.

Close enough that his scent, his cologne, is drowning your senses. Close enough that his breath is fanning faintly against your cheek. Close enough that you know there’s only one thing left for you to do.

Before you can think to hesitate, your lips are brushing up against his.

Intuitively, he brings his hands to your face, closing any extra distance. 

Kuroo’s thumb feathers over your cheekbone, stroking it tenderly. His lips apply very little pressure and it’s unbearably delicate, but it fills you with an indescribable warmth. His lips linger just long enough for you to detect the mint from his toothpaste - he can probably taste the cinnamon tea you’ve been sipping on over the past hour. As far as kisses go, it’s reserved, but perfect for this distinct moment.

Plus, you figure, this is just the first of many longer, more eager kisses - though you can’t imagine being more breathless than you already are right now.

But you can hardly get another taste of him before those warm hands on your cheeks are prying you away. He stares. You stare back. His eyes are brimming with something warm and full. You immediately choose to label it, “affection.”

And in a much lower voice, Kuroo murmurs, “Let’s save this for later.” 

You scan his face, wondering if he’s actually serious. He gradually makes his way off of the bed and onto his feet and before you can protest, Kuroo is speaking again.

“You-” 

He leans down and gingerly lifts your chin with his fingers. The gentleness of his touch almost makes you flinch, but you somehow manage to hold it in the road. Though now you’re really at a loss for words.

“-need to get some good rest.”

He places a chaste kiss on your forehead.

You still feel it after he pulls away. After he closes the door. After you’ve laid you head down on your pillow in shock.

How does he expect you to fall asleep after all of that?

---

extra: this is dedicated to Izzy - our sleep schedules may be jacked up, but i’m pretty sure it’s a blessing in disguise if we’re taking our time zones into consideration. thanks for making me laugh & for not stealing my quarter of the braincell.

and to my precious friends and followers - thank you for being patient with me. it’s hard to post or even write at the moment, but i’m steadily pushing myself toward a better mindset. i appreciate your comments, likes, and the fact that y'all even bother to check out my works in the first place. i’m working on it.

also happy birthday, Tetsu. you’re a real star.

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Moonlight - Adam Sackler x Reader

Chapter 1 - Kid

Word Count: 5595

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, wet dream,

Author's Note: I've been hiding this fic for quite some time and I just thought it was finally time to post it. I hope you enjoy it. Just a little FYI this is a bit of a slow burn things don't pick up until chapter 3/4 soo.

__________________________

You were in your psychology class trying to pay attention, but you couldn't. You were spacing out. Thinking about all the things that you could have been doing instead of sitting there in class. You could have been at home catching up with that show you just started or learning that new recipe you found.

You see this 6'4 guy with long perfect hair with broad shoulders walk into the room. He had features of a god. He was gorgeous. He couldn't be a new student; it was already mid-semester. The school you attended was fairly small. You could've noticed him by now.

He looks around the room before he makes eye contact with you and starts walking in your direction. As he starts to get near you, he doesn't break eye contact. To him, you were a prize he was trying to reach.

Once he is right in front of you, towering where you were sitting, he grabs your chin and tilts it so you could see his face more clearly. "You'll soon get what you deserve, princess," he says in a seductive voice. He grabs you by your hand and pulls you out of your seat.

Dragging you out of the classroom to take you to the nearest closet.

As he opens the door, your anxiety rises, thinking about what might happen next. "Hey, aren't we going to get caught" you mentioned to him in a worried tone of voice.

He wraps his arms around your waist, bringing you in closer to him. "Do as you are told, and we won't get caught." He whispers into your ear.

The space between you and him got smaller. Things were getting steamy-

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

"Noooo, a couple more minutes, please." you yawned to yourself. It was a dream that you did not want to wake up from. You wondered who that person was and if you have met them somewhere.

As you reached over to grab your phone where your alarm was still going off, you checked the time, wanting to know if you could sleep for a couple more minutes to go back to dreaming about that person.

It was 7:30 AM, and your class started at 8:30 AM; usually, at this time, you were in the train station, but instead, you were dreaming about a man you have never seen before and wanting to get railed by him.

You rushed on getting ready, so you could catch a train before your class started.

---------------------------

New York City is one of the busiest cities globally, also a city that you have always wanted to live in since you were a kid.

When you and your best friend Amelia got accepted into NYU, you decided to live in the same apartment. Both of you wanted to experience everything together.

You have lived there for six years, and no matter what, there is always something new to discover, it could be a new fashion store that opened or a new McDonald's, cause there is a need for a McDonald's in every corner.

This is your last year of Graduate School at NYU. You were so tired of this, and you just wanted to graduate already.

After all your classes are over, you and Amelia would always meet at Café Grumpy to occasionally catch up and leave the house. You enjoyed the coffee and food from there.

Every time you went inside there, it smelled like fresh coffee, and Ray was always there as well. "Hello, welcome back to Café Grumpy, the usual, right?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

"Good afternoon, Ray, and yes, the usual." you snapped your fingers as you agreed to what he said.

You have known Ray for the past couple of years; you never knew him personally. But you two did exchange a couple of interactions. He would always be the one to prepare your coffee and Amelia's. You probably had more mental breakdowns in that shop, something that you were not proud of. Since Ray was much older than you, he would be there for you and give you the best advice he could.

You were spacing out. You hear Ray's voice. "Are you feeling better? I know it's been a rough couple of weeks since that break up with Oscar," he hands you your cup of coffee and Amelia's. Oscar was the guy you have dated for the past 2 ½ years but recently broke up with him because he was cheating on you.

A frown formed on your face. You didn't like remembering Oscar and what he did to you. "I'm doing fine; he didn't deserve me anyway. I was too good for him." There was a small sigh when you said that.

Amelia was walking towards where you were sitting at "That is correct. He never deserved a lovely, funny, realistic girlfriend like you. Even from the start, he didn't deserve you." she sounded straightforward and positive in what she said.

She always knew what to say to make your day. "Amelia, always telling me something I don't know" there was a sass on your tone. Your relationship with Oscar was toxic to the point where you forgot your self-worth and only focused on pleasing him. But after catching him cheating on you, it made you realize how strong of a person you were and how you didn't need him in your life.

"She's right, you know; any guy would be lucky to have you" Ray was smiling as he was handing you a breakfast sandwich. "just to let you know this is on me, I'll pay for you and Amelia's food and drinks. But don't get used to it because I won't be doing it all the time."

You weren't sure how to respond to what Ray has said, so you just decided to give a detailed response "hah, keep saying that, and I'll stay single for a while," you chuckled as he told you that. "Also, thanks, we'll repay you." you were grateful that Ray did that for you and Amelia once in a while.

What you told Ray made you think, were you going to be single for a while, or are you going to find someone right away. But then again, you wanted to love yourself before you loved someone else.

---------------------------------------

After hours of just talking to Amelia and Ray, it was time for you to head home. It was getting dark, and you had homework to do.

Afternoons were your favorite time to walk around because of the sunsets. No matter how long you have lived in New York, you would have always taken pictures. By now, your gallery was full of those sunsets instead of images with your friends or family.

You lived in Manhattan, probably the cheapest place in New York you could find. The apartment wasn't that big; it had two bedrooms, one bath, a small kitchen and living space, and a balcony that connected your bedroom to Amelia's. It was big enough for two people to live in. It was decorated very minimalistic; of course, some of the landscape pictures you took and some portraits that Amelia has painted throughout the apartment.

Looking through the cabinets and through the fridge, you noticed you had all the ingredients to make chicken alfredo with mashed potatoes" Hey, are you craving chicken alfredo with some mashed potatoes?" You were taking out the ingredients to make the food. You were the one to cook all the time since you enjoyed cooking and did not mind cleaning the mess afterward. "Even if you're not, I'm still making it because I am craving it."

Amelia was browsing through Netflix, trying to figure out what to put "whatever you want to make, you know I'll shove it down my throat."

Your phone that was across the table started to ring. As you picked it up, you saw the name Oscar. Your heart started to beat fast. You had a blank stare as you watched your phone just ring.

Amelia notices your blank face, "Is it Oscar again? Gosh, when is he going to leave you alone" she rolls her eyes. She starts walking towards you to see if you need any comfort or if you wanted her to answer.

"Yeah, it's him. Can you answer the phone for me? I'm not sure if I can talk to him" you gave her your phone.

This was not the first time he called after the breakup. Usually, you would just ignore the calls. This time it was different because of the talk you had earlier with Amelia and Ray. The thought of you giving someone everything just for them to go behind your back to do that was a scary thought.

While your mind wondered with all these thoughts, you could hear Amelia just yelling at the phone. Telling Oscar to leave me alone and just to let the relationship we once had go.

Hearing him argue with Amelia in the other room made you want to curl up in bed. But instead, you just sucked it up and started making the food because the food will never hurt your feelings or cheat on you.

Amelia walks into the kitchen and places the phone on the counter. "He is such a jerk. I still don't understand how you decided to date him. Out of all the people in New York, you decided to spend two and ½ years with him." She was rambling on how much she disliked Oscar. You zoned out, not wanting to pay attention to what she was saying.

"I don't understand either, but hey, can we just talk about something else; I need a distraction."

While you were finishing the food, Amelia was still browsing through Netflix, trying to find something the both of you could watch.

Amelia gives you a look of regret as you approach her with the food. "I'm sorry that I exploded on you about Oscar. What he did was unacceptable. I hate seeing you hurt over a stupid guy," she mentions as you give her a plate of food.

There was a small pause in between as you sat next to her. "It's okay, Amelia. I'm hurting over a dumb boy."

Once you finished your homework and the movie that Amelia put on the TV, it was already nighttime. Your mind wanders back to the dream you had. Who was this guy, and have you seen him before.

Amelia had her bed, but sometimes she would come over to your bed and sleep with you. Especially during times like this, where you needed her company. Amelia was scrolling through Instagram, trying to find new inspiration for her latest painting. "Hey, Amelia, do you know if we know anyone that is around 6'4 that had perfect shaggy hair?" you asked her, trying not to make it obvious that it was a dream.

She got up and sat up quickly as you caught her attention "oh, so now we have a new lover, and it's not been two months past your breakup" she was looking at the way you would react to her saying that. But your face was not showing any signs that you might have met someone new or even talked to someone new. You looked confused, and all you wanted answers. "Hey, don't look at me like that. We both have a busy life outside of these four walls, you don't expect me to know every single move that you do, and no, we do not know anyone that fits that description."

"Oh, okay, just asking" you wanted to drop the topic as fast as you could. "We should go to sleep. I have work tomorrow, and you do too"

You turn off the lights and proceed to go to bed.

---------------------------------

"Such a naughty girl, listening to what daddy wants to do, does it turn you on being here in the closet with me at the university you attend at huh."

It seemed like it picked up right where it left off. Oddly enough, it was the same guy you dreamt of last night.

You stood there quietly as you tried to analyze his beautiful face.

He proceeds to tell you all the things he wants to do to you. "I want you to get on all fours and not make a sound," he whispers into your ears; as he does that, he wraps his big hand around your throat.

You nodded your head in agreement "yes. I'll stay as quiet as I need to-"

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

"Ugh, not again." This time, you woke up on time. When getting ready, you decided to wear something that hugged your curves perfectly—a turtleneck shirt with a cardigan and a nice pair of jeans with some heels.

On the days you didn't have class, you worked as a secretary at a lawyer's office, it was not your dream job, but it did pay you well. Your boss was chill about you going to work a couple of minutes late. She knew how busy the streets could get, and if you were able to pass by a coffee shop and get her coffee, she would forgive you for your delay.

As you were walking the same route, you wanted to catch up on some of your reading. The people around you were too focused on making sure they got to their destination on time instead of focusing on whether you were on their way.

Out of sudden, you bump into with 6'4 man, "Hey, watch it Ki-" he froze. To him, you were the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

You panic. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you," you were trying to gather yourself. As you made eye contact with him, you noticed that he had the same features as the guy you have been dreaming about. But seeing him in person, he was more attractive.

We stared at each other for a couple of minutes.

"umm yeah, it's alright kid, are you new around here? I have never seen you before" He looks at you like there's nothing else around but you. He looks up and down, looking at how perfectly your outfit hugged your curves. "Can I just mention that you are gorgeous and hot, wow"

You smiled and tucked in your hair behind your ear "thank you" This was the first time you have ever gotten a compliment in a very long time; you were unsure how to react. "Yeah, I have been here for a couple of years. I mean, it's a pretty big city. I doubt that you would have ever seen me" You never thought you would imagine that the guy you were dreaming about would live in the same city you did.

There was a small pause in between what you had said, "Is there a place that you need to be? I can walk you there. I want you to get there safely" He insisted on taking you to work. He didn't show any signs of being a creep, so of course, you agreed that he could walk with you.

The whole time you walked together, it was quiet, but having his presence next to you, was calming. It was odd. You have never felt this calm next to a stranger.

As you both get to the building that you worked at, "Hey, I know that we haven't known each other for long, and this walk was quiet, but I would like to get to know you." You scanned his face to see if he was lying or just trying to be weird. But no, he was genuine. "I would love to take you out to get coffee sometime if that's okay with you" He looked unsure if he wanted to ask you that. Maybe it was the fear of rejection.

You had a small smile on your face. You wanted to know him as well. "So far, I've enjoyed our quiet walk, and It would be lovely to grab a cup of coffee sometime" You take out some sticky notes and a pen from your purse and start writing down your number with a little heart next to the last digit. "Here, take this, don't blow up my phone, or I'll block you, okay" You hand him the sticky note with a smirk on your face.

The moment you mentioned a number, that's when his face lit up with the most dorkish yet cute smile. "Aye, Aye, Captain, I can't make any promises that I won't."

Walking towards the building, you felt like someone was watching you. You turn around to see who it might be, and it was him. He wanted to make sure that you go into the building safely. Then you realized that you didn't even know his name and how you gave him your number in a heartbeat. That was the dumbest thing you have done. But what is the worst he can do? He didn't know your name either. He can probably just send it to spam callers.

Either way, you didn't regret giving him your number.

Deep down, you thought, 'he'll never text me or call me. He was just nice by walking me to work. I'll never get to see him again.' Before you enter your shift, you text Amelia every time you get there, so she knows you got there and nothing happened to you on the way. You didn't tell her that you met this guy and that you willingly gave him your number. To you, it didn't matter. It's not like you were going to see him again.

Hours go by. It was already the end of your shift. You said your goodbyes to your boss and coworkers.

As you check your phone, you notice that there were three new messages from an unknown number. You took a deep breath as you unlocked your phone, thinking it was probably spam messages or reminders that you needed to pay your bills.

2:12 PM Hello Kid, it's me, that rando that walked with you

2:30 PM, please tell me this is your actual number and not some random person's number

3:23 PM, it probably is, well, shit. But if it is yours, call me when you get out of work. I want to go ahead and buy you coffee.

Reading those messages brought a smile to your face. Even without knowing his name, it made you happy that he texted you.

Your heart is racing as you call him, thinking that he isn't going to pick up.

"Hey kid, so you didn't give me a random person's number, huh" You could hear the excitement in his voice through the phone.

"Hello there, actually no, this is a random person's number, you got fooled" there was a small giggle that came out.

He went along with what you said, knowing for sure it was you and not someone else. "darn it. Either way, is this random person willing to grab some coffee in about 10 minutes."

"She accepts, and she will be waiting for you to come. Don't be late. I don't like it when people are late and especially when it comes to my coffee."

"Aye, Aye Captain, I won't be late, not even a second late."

"I'm holding your word to that, hah."

When you hung up the phone, you had the biggest smile on your face. The thoughts of 'how come this nameless person was able to make me feel this way' were going through your head. It felt like you were a teenager with a high school crush. This was a new feeling to you. You never experienced having these emotions over some guy.

Eight Minutes pass by, and you see that 6'4 gorgeous man was walking outside of the building you work at, waving his hand trying to catch your attention. You grab your bags and start walking towards the door. Before you could push the door, he opens it for you. "Thank you" You lock eyes with him, and that feeling from earlier where nothing matters came back. The sound of cars honking and people walking by didn't matter because it was only you and him.

"You are very welcome. There's a new coffee place that opened up not that long ago that I want to take you". He points to the left, and of course, there was a big sign on the shop saying, 'NEW LOCATION' You agreed to go with him, and you didn't care where you two went. All you wanted to do was spend time with him.

Both of you were walking to the coffee shop, and it was relatively small and very casual. There was loud music playing in the background. He opened the door for you, and inside, it smelled like fresh coffee. The inside was beautiful. The tones were very earthy and brown colors. Even if you didn't come with him, you would have loved to be in this place. It felt like home. While you two were getting in line, you finally asked him the question that has been in your head all day. "Something that has been bugging me is that I'm here grabbing coffee with a person that I don't even know; you might be a murder or a cat person, and I wouldn't even know your name."

He makes a facepalm motion when he realizes that you were right. You didn't know his name, and he didn't know yours. "shit, you are right. I haven't even told you my name. It's Adam."

Adam, why was that so fitting for him. You never thought that this beautiful man would have the most straightforward name. You loved his name already. You tell him your name, and the way he reacted was the cutest. "So that's the captain's name. To be fair, that is a beautiful name." You had a smile, and your cheek turned into a rosy color. You never thought that he would react to your name like that, mainly because he could have met a lot of people with that same name.

To him, your name meant more than just a random person's name. He didn't care if other people had the same name as you. He only cared about knowing your name.

The line got shorter, and it was your time to order what you wanted to drink. You look over the menu, and the most appealing drink you could see was a Macchiato. That was your safe drink when it came to new coffee places.

As you look over the menu, Adam stares at you, the way your eyebrows are shaped, the way you look so concentrated on reading every word on the menu. As before bumping into you, you were still the most beautiful person he has ever seen. "Are you ready to order what you want?"

Looking over the menu one more time, just making sure that a Macchiato was something you wanted. "I think so. I'll probably just want a macchiato, something simple."

"Do you want anything to eat? It's probably been hours since you have last eaten," he says in a concerning voice.

Even though you were hungry and wanted to order something to eat, you didn't want him to waste more money on you. "No, that would be it. I can probably get something to eat on the way home. Thank you, though. I appreciate it."

While waiting for the drinks to be ready, you two go sit down. It was quiet for a while before they called Adam's name to go and get the drinks. Hearing his name just brightened your day. You thought, 'I don't think I would ever get tired of hearing his name.' As he walked in your direction, you can't help but notice how big his hands were.

"Here is the macchiato for the lady" While you grab your cup of coffee from his hands, you notice how small your hand looked compared to his. "now that we are here, tell me about yourself." He wanted to know everything about you, from what you like to eat to what you like to do in your free time.

"Well, I'm in my last year of graduate school in NYU, getting my Human Development and Social Intervention Master's degree, gosh that was a handful to say. I work at a law office." There was a pause as you were trying to think of things you did in your free time. "There's nothing that exciting about my life, really." All you did was go to work and school. It made you realize how it has been a cycle your whole time you were in here.

With the facial expression, you can tell that he wanted to say 'really,' but instead, he said something else. "That sounds like some bull. Getting a degree in Human development or some shit like that is quite interesting" he was interested in what you were saying. "Also, I doubt that is all you do. There must be something else, a hobby? A show you enjoy watching." He did not believe one bit that your life could be boring.

Talking about yourself was not something you did on a day-to-day basis. So when Adam started asking these questions, it was really hard for you to think about it. He was the first person to ask you to talk about yourself in a very long time. You were unsure what to tell him, as you were stirring your coffee with a spoon, trying to figure out what to say. He grabs your hand that was just resting on the table. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me. If you don't feel comfortable telling me it's cool, I understand" He was reassuring you that you didn't have to tell him anything you didn't want to.

He still holds your hand, making sure that you are comfortable around him. He didn't want to mess things up with you. He wanted to flirt with you and kiss you, but he also wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

The place started to get packed, and the walls felt like they were closing in on you. You began to feel claustrophobic with the number of people around. "Adam, can we leave the place and walk around?" You needed to get out of the place before more people came in.

He grabs your bag and helps you get up from the chair. You started to walk forwards, and even though you couldn't see him, you could feel his presence behind you. As you both left the shop, you turned around to make sure he was right behind. You wait for him as he catches up to you. You go ahead and wrap your arm around his. He had a slight smile when you did that. "I'm sorry for not answering your questions. Usually, no one asks me to talk about myself, so I'm unsure what to say."

He understood, and he was in the same boat as you. No one asked him to talk about himself either. If you were to ask him, he would freeze just like you did. "It's alright, kid, let's take you home. It's getting late" This was the second time he walked you to your location. He wanted you to get home safely and wanted to stay with you for a longer time.

This time it wasn't a quiet walk, you joked around with him, and he joked around with you. The way you both talked, it seemed like you knew each other for years and not only for a day.

You were the first girl he didn't want to take home and hook up with. You were different, he wanted something new, and he wanted to experience it with you.

You were outside the building of your apartment, and you see Amelia run towards you and Adam. "Where were you, it's past 6:30, and you are usually here earlier. I was about to set an Amber Alert on your ass" She hugs you ignoring the man next to you. As she lets go, she finally notices him and gives him a perplexed look. She pulls you away from Adam. She didn't know him. She thought he was some creep just trying to get to know where you lived. "You can go now. You don't need to walk her in." She had a disgusted look on her face while she made the shoo motion.

You were embarrassed that she was acting that way. Usually, she wouldn't mind if a guy walked me home. You gave Adam a look that you were sorry. "I'm so sorry. I never thought this would be the way you two meet. Amelia, this is Adam" You had a frustrated look on your face. You didn't want Amelia to know about Adam until you were sure that you wanted to talk to him for a while. 'I guess faith has another plan for me, instead of letting me do my own thing.' Instead of keeping that thought to yourself, you said it out loud without even knowing that you did.

Adam and Amelia both heard what you said and giggled.

Adam stares at you like he had the heart eyes emoji on his face. Amelia noticed how he was looking at you and decided to walk into the building, so you and he would have a moment together. You knew the moment you entered the apartment, she would be asking you a ton of questions. The idea of going home felt like a nightmare, but that's where your bed was at, so you didn't have a choice.

After what happened between the three of you, you were unsure if he ever wanted to talk to you again. If it was you, after that, you would have just run the opposite way. He could feel that you were worried. "If you think that Amelia scared me away from you, you thought completely wrong." He wraps his arms around you, and you hug him back. Feeling his warmth was one of the best feelings in the world. You were so much tinier than him, so hugging him felt like you were hugging a bear. After a couple of more minutes, letting him go was hard. Adam looks up and notices that Amelia is looking down to where you and he were standing. "It's getting late, and I can see that someone is creepily watching us." You look up, and you see the same thing that Adam did. You both giggled that Amelia wasn't trying to hide that she was staring at the both of you.

Watching him walk away made you sad. You wanted to spend more time with him.

Entering the apartment, Amelia rushed to open the door before you could. She had a ton of questions ready for you on a notepad. You took her hand and walked towards the couch. The questions went from “where did you meet him? How did you meet him?... etc.” You answered every question, even though you really didn’t want to. “So you met him, and you didn’t plan on telling me” she grabbed the pillow that was right next to her and smacked you with it. You went ahead and grabbed a pillow next to you and started to have a pillow fight.

Hours passed by, you finished your homework, your readings, and finished cooking dinner. As you are getting ready to go to bed. All you could think about was him, how sweet he was to you, how beautiful his face was, just the thought of Adam. Your phone starts to ring as these thoughts continue. You look over to your phone to see who it was, and it was Adam.

There was noise in the background. It sounded like there was construction going on. “Hey Kid, what are you doing up so late? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Hey Goof, Fun fact I was about to go to bed, but you called, meaning that you interrupted me from going to bed.” You were tucking yourself to bed at this moment.

“I’ll just buy you coffee tomorrow.” He mentions in a sweet tone of voice.

“I hate that you have only known me for a day and already know that I love coffee” It was the opposite. You didn’t mind if he knew that you enjoyed drinking coffee. Instead of just remembering how your body was shaped, he would remember you by something you enjoyed drinking.

Adam was thinking about you before he decided to call you. He missed you. He missed the way your voice sounded. “I’m going, being honest with you, I was just thinking about you, and I thought I would call you.”

Did that comment just make your heart flutter? Yes, indeed it did. It’s crazy how in just one day of meeting Adam, you never felt happier. He made you feel things that you thought you’d never feel again.

You both talked for an hour straight, just talking about the tv show you were just watching; meanwhile, he was talking about wanting to build a boat in his apartment. But no matter what, you never have that awkward pause in between topics.

Once the call ended, It made you realize that this was just the beginning and that it would be a bumpy road ahead. But it didn’t matter because it was with him.

[pocket-luv101]

Summary: Kuro finds Mahiru asleep in his pub. (KuroMahi, Modern AU)

“It was busy tonight. I’ll close up the kitchen so you can go to study for your exam, JeJe.” Kuro told his brother. The family owned a small pub and they would often work late. He was tired himself but he thought it was important for his siblings to focus on school. “Wrath will get angry at both of us if she thinks that I made you work late instead of doing your school work.”

Their conversation was interrupted when Hyde entered the kitchen and said: “We have a problem with a customer. He’s your regular and he’s asking for you, Kuro.”

“Me?” Kuro wondered what the customer could want with him. He didn’t have anyone he would consider a regular customer either. He rarely worked as a bartender since he preferred to cook in the kitchen. His siblings were better at small talk so he would leave the job to them. The pub was quiet so the customer wasn’t violent or angry. He wiped his hands and said, “Can you tell me what to expect?”

“You’ll call it ‘troublesome’.” Hyde told him and took the hand towel he had been using to wipe the counter. He started to clean the kitchen for him while Kuro stepped out of the room. His brother’s description of the customer was vague and he didn’t know what to expect. At first, he didn’t see who the person was and he thought the bar was empty.

He scanned the room and he noticed someone sitting at the bar with their head resting on the table. It was clear that the person had fallen asleep and Kuro sighed. He didn’t know why Hyde asked him to deal with the customer when he could’ve simply woken the man and called a cab for him. Kuro was glad that the problem wasn’t an angry drunk at least.

He stood next to the sleeping man and lightly shook his shoulder. As the man shook his head, Kuro was able to see his face and he gasped softly. He never expected to see Mahiru again, yet here he was. He could only stare at him while the memories of their relationship came back to him.

They had broken up the month before they graduated high school. The tears that Mahiru had that day still stabbed at his heart and Kuro traced his fingers over his cheek. Mahiru had the opportunity to go to a prestigious college and it would allow him to pursue his dream of becoming a photographer. But the school was in another city. Kuro didn’t want their relationship to hold Mahiru back from accomplishing his dreams. He made the difficult decision to break up.

“Kuro…” Mahiru mumbled his name in his sleep and his voice pulled him out of his memories.

“What am I going to do?” Kuro whispered and ran his hand through his hair. He was still in love with Mahiru so he didn’t know how he could face him after their break up. He didn’t know if he came to the bar to see him again but a small part of him hoped that he had. With a shake of his head, he reminded himself, “Don’t be selfish. Mahiru is better off without you.”

Despite those words, Kuro found himself gravitating to Mahiru. They hadn’t seen each other for a year but he hadn’t changed in that time. His face still had the soft and vulnerable expression whenever he slept and the sight made Kuro feel protective of him. Mahiru moved in his sleep and he almost fell off the stool but then Kuro caught him. “You could’ve chosen a better place to sleep.”

He slipped an arm under Mahiru’s knees and supported his back with his other hand. Slowly, he lifted Mahiru off the chair and took him to a lounge chair in the corner of the bar. When he held him close to his chest, he could smell alcohol on his breath. Had he been drinking before he fell asleep at the bar? He would have to lecture his brother about letting him drink too much.

Kuro was careful to not wake him as he lowered him onto the lounge couch. Then, he took off his jacket and draped it over Mahiru so he would be warm. He sat next to him and considered what he should do. Should he wake him and talk? Would it be best to have one of his siblings wake him and send him home?

They hadn’t spoken since the break up and Kuro wondered if college had been stressful on Mahiru. There were dark circles under his eyes so he was likely tired and needed sleep. He decided that it was best to let him sleep on the couch and watch over him. A part of him knew that he chose to let him sleep so he could avoid facing him again.

Unconsciously, he started to stroke his brown hair like he would in the past. Mahiru’s face relaxed under his touch and the small change squeezed Kuro’s heart. One of the things he loved about Mahiru was how honest his expressions were. Seeing him again brought back the regret he thought he had let go. They would call each other a few times after he moved to his new school but Kuro eventually stopped picking up his phone. It was painful to hear his voice when he couldn’t hold him.

“Kuro…” He spoke again. Mahiru turned on his side and hugged the jacket around him. The subtle scent of spices and seasoning that clung to the jacket reminded him of Kuro. In high school, he would visit him after the bar closed and his clothes would smell like spices from working in the kitchen. He realized that the cushions beneath him felt much stiffer than his bed and he sat up in confusion.

His eyes fell onto Kuro next to him. Mahiru opened his mouth to say his name yet he couldn’t form words. He had imagined a thousand different things he would say to Kuro if he ever met him again. They were a happy couple and he didn’t understand why Kuro suddenly broke up with him. He was upset and angry at first but now he only wanted an explanation.

Kuro was the first to speak. “You fell asleep on the counter and I was worried you would fall off the chair. I moved you onto the couch. Do you have a headache or feel sick? I can call a cab to take you home if you can’t drive. Your eyes look alert but your face is a little flushed.”

“I only had two drinks. That’s not enough to make me drunk even if I’m a lightweight.” Mahiru didn’t tell him that his blush was caused by how close Kuro was. He tried to stand but his legs were a little unsteady beneath him. His gaze fell to the ground in embarrassment and sank back onto the chair. A hand fell over his shoulder and he looked back to Kuro.

There was only kindness in his red eyes and Mahiru bit his lip. “Don’t look at me like that, Kuro. You’re going to give me the wrong idea of how you feel.”

“I’m sorry.” He took his hand back and sat next to him on the couch. Kuro didn’t want to see the pain in his else because he knew he would try to comfort him if he did. He broke his heart and he thought he didn’t deserve to hold him. An awkward silence surrounded them and he searched for something to change the subject. “Are you here on break?”

“The first semester ended and I decided to come home to visit my uncle. I’ve been busy with classes and I haven’t been able to stay in touch with everyone. I should go home before my uncle starts to worry. He isn’t as paranoid as Misono’s dad but I don’t want to make him worry.” Mahiru stood and slipped on the jacket. He didn’t notice that the jacket belonged to Kuro. “The cold air will help me become sober again.”

“I’ll walk you home.” He offered. “It’s dangerous to walk alone in the dark, especially when you’re tipsy. We already closed the bar so my siblings don’t need me here anymore.”

“Thank you.” Mahiru accepted but there was a brief moment of hesitation in his voice. He didn’t say anything further as he stepped out of the bar with Kuro by his side. The cold air made him shiver and he pulled the jacket’s zipper higher. He realized that he had put on Kuro’s jacket unintentionally yet he hadn’t commented on it. He reasoned that he could return the jacket once they reached his home.

He lived only a few blocks from the pub and Mahiru found himself dragging his feet to spend more time with Kuro. When he visited the bar, he hoped he could see Kuro again and speak with him. He ordered a few drinks for courage but he ended up falling asleep on the counter. Mahiru watched Kuro in the corner of his eyes. “How has business been?”

“We’ve gotten more customers. Since I graduated, I’ve been putting more hours into the pub and that helped keep down costs. Hopefully, the pub will bring in enough money to put Hugh and the others through school.” Their father had abandoned their family and Kuro did his best to support his younger siblings. Mahiru knew how important his family was so he couldn’t leave them. “What about you, Mahiru? I heard that your photos were featured in your college’s showcase.”

“Yes. I must’ve taken a thousand photos for the showcase. Art school is more work than people like to joke about.” Mahiru smiled wearily. “I threw myself into my work because I wanted to distract myself from our breakup. I couldn’t fully forget you though. The day I had to choose a photo to submit to the showcase, I came across this old picture. It was the reason I wanted to be a professional photographer.”

Mahiru took out a picture from when they were younger. The edges of the paper were worn from age. In the photograph, Kuro was asleep with a cat resting on his chest. “I wanted to take pictures of experiences and landscapes to share with others. While I was in class, each time I took a photo, I thought ‘I can’t wait to show this to Kuro’. Then I had to remind myself we broke up.”

“You deserve someone better than me, Mahiru.” Kuro stopped walking. “I’m sorry.”

“When you broke up with me, you said that it was because you cheated on me. I didn’t believe it then and I don’t believe it now. We’ve known each other for years and you’re not the type to cheat. It’ll be too troublesome.” Mahiru stood in front of Kuro and faced him. He cupped his cheeks and moved his gaze down to him. “Can you lie to my face and say you cheated on me?”

“I…” He started but then he looked into Mahiru’s large eyes. Kuro didn’t know how he was able to lie to him before. He had lied to him when they broke up because he knew Mahiru wouldn’t accept his true reason. He would’ve insisted that they try to have a long distance relationship but Kuro was worried it would hold Mahiru back. “I’m sorry, Mahiru.”

“For cheating or lying to me? Please, Kuro, I need to know why you broke up with me.” His voice started to break in time with his heart. “I loved you and I thought you felt the same way.”

Suddenly, Kuro gathered him into his arms and buried his face into his neck. He held him tight but Mahiru didn’t mind and hugged him in return. He slowly ran his hand down his back to feel his warmth after being apart for so long. Mahiru whispered, “Why did you lie to me?”

“I thought if I hurt you by lying, you wouldn’t have any regrets going to college. That school has been your dream for years. I need to be here to support my siblings and I don’t have a lot to give you. If anything, I’ll hold you back from your dreams.” Kuro didn’t lift his face from his neck and Mahiru could feel his warm breath against his skin.

“I understand, Kuro, I really do. Your family is important to you and I could never ask you to move to Tokyo where my school is. But couldn’t you have talked to me instead of breaking up with me the way you did? It hurt.” Kuro leaned back and tenderly ran his hand over his cheek to comfort him. Mahiru touched his hand and looked up at him.

Mahiru lifted himself onto his toes and kissed Kuro softly. “I could’ve gone to school in Tokyo and still date you. It would’ve been a lot of work but I’m willing to do it if it meant I can be with you. Aren’t we worth the effort?”

“You’re one of the most important things to me.” Kuro brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed his fingertips softly. “I thought I was doing what was best for your future by leaving but I only hurt you. I’m sorry, Mahiru. Will you take me back?”

“That’s the reason I came to your bar.” Mahiru smiled up at him. “Will you stay the night at my apartment? We have a lot to catch up on.”

[crystal-snowing]

forbidden fruit | lee felix

synopsis: you were told to stay away by your parents and the rest of society, but that was nearly impossible when he just looks so goddamn irresistible.

genre: enemies to lovers!au, gang!au, college!au, angst, fluff

pairing: rich!reader x gangster!felix

word count: 15.9k 

warnings: slight violence, explicit language, mentions kidnapping

a/n: i’ve been thinking about writing a longer fic for quite some time now and i think i went a bit overboard on this one, but i hope you guys enjoy in nevertheless ! also special thanks to @crscendoforsung​, mwah soro ! 

one. 

If there was one thing that your parents warned you about, it was to stay away from Stray Kids, also known as the most prominent and dangerous gang in the city. This warning was drilled into your head ever since you were a young child, as you were told two things, to stay away from the south side of town and to never associate with known members of this gang. They were two simple rules to follow, and for the past nineteen years of your life, those were two simple rules to follow. And up until last year, you were proud to say that you have never seen or associated with one of those things. But that all changed in your senior year of high school. A new mayor was recently elected to govern the city and insisted on fixing the abnormal disparity between the extremely wealthy and the extremely poor, while this mostly included building new luxury apartment complexes and stores in the less fortunate side of town. However,  there was one policy that enraged your parents and the rest of those on the privileged side of town—that the next school year, the mayor was taking eight students from the other side of town and having them enroll in your prestigious school system for the remainder of their educational journey. 

No amount of protesting or defiance from your parents or the rest of the community could possibly persuade the mayor to change his mind, and just like that it was done, your entire world would be forever changed. 

It was your first semester at college, and on top of that, it was also the first semester of for the new students to be admitted onto your side of town. That day was vividly etched in your memory, your parents helping you pack your bags into the car, hugging you goodbye and giving you a final reminder to not cause any trouble while you’re there. They didn’t need to say it, but you knew that the words were on the tip of their tongue. The essence of that phrase surrounded you and practically swallowed you, it was in the way they squeezed just a little too tightly or the way their gaze lingered on you a little too long as the car finally pulled out of the driveway and you waved goodbye. 

This was your promise to them, and the only promise that you needed to keep—no matter the circumstances, you were not allowed to associate or be near any of those gang members. 

However, you had to admit that there was some alluring about them. They were the talk of the entire campus, even among the freshmen class, the campus was alive with their arrival. Of course, they stood out from every other student on campus, and when they were walking it was the parting of the Red Sea, every other student making space (either out of fear or shock) to allow them to pass through. Dressed in all black, hoods on and masks covering their entire face except their eyes—they were the epitome of a notorious gang. Even though they passed by you for only a second, they had already piqued your interest, but you had made a promise and you were not willing to let some scum destroy everything that you and your parents have worked so hard for. You were determined and nothing was going to stand in your way, after going through twelve years of schooling and enduring the countless tutors and towers of textbooks, you worked your ass to get to where you are today. And you would be damned if you allowed a few lowlifes to stand in your way, after all, no matter how educated they become they wouldn’t be able to change the fact that they were nothing but garbage from the other side of town—in the end, they would never be able to change who they truly are.

That incident was only a small one in comparison to the many that happened that day. You had almost forgotten to remind yourself that it was also your first day of college as well, and soon the memory of early this morning was soon forgotten in the sea of other memories and experiences that happened the rest of that morning. The orientation was brief, the dean’s speech ending with a round of applause as the entire freshman class was soon released to go to classes and begin to adjust to the campus lifestyle. It was kind of stuffy and crowded inside the auditorium and you were glad that all the boring formalities were over and done with, finally you were able to go to your classes and escape the large mass of people. You stood from the velour red chair and your way outside, where the sunlight and the fresh air felt good against your skin after spending nearly two hours in the dark auditorium. 

It was only when you made eye contact with one of them, did your heart really snap out of your dazed state. Your eyes were not fully adjusted to the bright sunlight and for a moment you could have been mistaken about who or what you could have seen, but you soon realized that there was no mistaking the all black clothes that he adorned or his slightly dyed strawberry blond hair. He was standing furthest from the group of three other boys that were also dressed from head-to-toe in the dark color, and while you could have chosen to make eye contact with any of the four boys, he stood out to you the most. And there it was again, this feeling of intrigue—attraction, as he stood less than seven feet away from you. 

The two of you couldn’t have been staring at each other for more than a few seconds, when one of his friends slapped on the head, calling out his name and making a joke that you couldn’t really make out from where you were standing. Just like that, the spell was broken and as you glanced at your phone for the time, you realized that you were running late for class. You watched as his friends bid him goodbye before walking off in the opposite direction, and before you could believe that everything that happened in the past few seconds was just a dream, his warm brown eyes once again made eye contact with your own [E/C] eyes. Clearing your throat, you whipped your head around and immediately began walking away from the mysterious boy and towards your first class of the day, the object that was supposed to capture more of your attention compared to this insignificant delinquent. And while it was possible to convince yourself that the awkward encounter that just took place between you and that strawberry blond boy was nothing out of the ordinary, the reddening of your cheeks definitely told a different story.

It had only been a few minutes since you arrived in the lecture hall, while you were not the first one to enter, you certainly weren’t late which was honestly all that mattered to you. Taking out your phone, you decided to scroll through some of your social media pages in order to pass the time, and you were barely a minute into your Instagram feed when you felt a presence sit down next to you. Glancing up from your screen, you were met with a wall of black clothing. Upon a closer inspection, you could see that he was wearing a black leather jacket, a white cotton t-shirt, black jeans, and a black mask covering half of his face. His skin was pale, but had an entire galaxy of freckles that decorated his nose and cheeks, and his eyes were a warm shade of espresso brown. 

“Excuse me?” 

Sparing you only a glance, he pulled out his phone and tapped the screen, before pulling out one of his airpods before looking at you again, only then did you have his full attention. There was honestly no way to approach this without sounding rude, but you had no other choice, and honestly he happened to be quite fortunate that it was you giving him this lecture instead of other students, who wouldn’t hesitate to rip him to shreds compared to you who was doing your best to try at least be semi-polite and give him some useful advice in order to survive in this new world. 

“There are tons of seats in this hall and I was wondering if you could maybe not sit next to me? Considering that we don’t know each other and how much I enjoy my personal space and I would appreciate it if you could maybe move a couple chairs down or maybe a whole another row—” your polite speech was interrupted by his low but hearty laugh, as he removed his face mask to reveal his plump pink lips.

“So let me get this straight, you want me to move my seat since you believe, and I quote, ‘am violating your personal space’?” he paused, cocking one of his eyebrows with a smirk sitting on his lips, “sweetheart, if it bothers you that much, how about you get up and move yourself?” 

You were absolutely flabbergasted to say the least, and couldn’t believe that someone like him had the audacity to even suggest something like that to someone like you. His attention had refocused back on the device in front of him, and it was clear that by his demeanor that he wasn’t going to be moving any time soon and you were stuck next to him for the remainder of class. This left you with two options, either move and give him the satisfaction of successfully bullying you into submission or stay exactly where you are and stand your ground against a brat like him. And with a small huff, you released your grip on your bag and the rest of your belongings before crossing your arms and focusing on your phone once again. There was no way in hell were you going to give this asshole the satisfaction of seeing you pissed off, instead you stood your ground and watched as the professor finally stood at the center of the room and quieted the class down in order to begin his introduction. 

And for the rest of the class out of the corner of your eyes, you couldn’t help but see that smirk envelop the lips of the boy sitting next to you, the very sight of it making your blood boil and your face flushed. Whoever this boy was you were certain of only one thing, he was nothing but an arrogant prick.

two. 

The cafe across the street from your dorm has become one of your favorite places on the entire campus, especially when you needed to study. Not only did they have the best drinks on campus, the pastries were to die for, and every time you walked through the doors you were reminded of that as the sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar filled your nose. Cafe 4419 was never too noisy nor was it ever too quiet, the lo-fi playlist and soft murmur from the patrons made it one of your favorite sanctuaries to stay apart from your dorm. 

While it was only a few weeks into college, half of the first semester has already flown by and you were practically swimming in essays, projects and studying for upcoming tests. Which is how you found yourself here, spending almost every waking second at the cafe with your favorite drink by your side and piles of textbooks and papers towered around you. Anybody passing by would have immediately assumed that it was finals season, instead of simply being just an ordinary test during the first semester. But you were serious about your academics and grades, and you were not about to let something ruin your concentration that you had going for you. 

This was the one place where you could also find an escape from those people. Everywhere else around campus that you seemed to find yourself, it was only a matter of minutes before you were humbly graced with their presence. They seemed to be everywhere and the only two places on campus where you seemed to be safe from them was your own dorm room and this cafe. In a way it sort of is your sanctuary, one of the few places where you didn’t have to see their depressing black clothing, scowling faces or even hear about their very being. Instead, it was just you, your textbooks, notes, and computer—the way it should be, and you were experiencing nothing but pure bliss. 

And that moment was completely shattered, when the screech of the stool across the wooden floors next to you and the slamming of an iced coffee of some sort onto the table. 

Glaring up at the perpetrator, you weren’t surprised to be faced with a wall of black clothing, including the infamous leather jacket. As your eyes traveled higher up, you were finally met with a pair of brown eyes and a cocky expression looking down on you. Him. The same boy who had the audacity to sit right next to you during your first lecture, currently has the audacity to interrupt your precious study time. His appearance was practically unchanged since the last time you saw him less than a week ago, his strawberry blond hair was a bit more faded than before but his irises still sparkled with that same mischievous and playful glint. 

“Fancy running into you here,” he smirked, moving to sit down next to you. His thigh was quick to press up against your own, as you flinched—moving your leg away as if you were being burned. He didn’t acknowledge your actions, instead his eyes seemed to be locked onto your own, scanning over your facial features as if he was studying and reading your every move and expression. 

“What do you want?” 

He put his hands in surrender attempting to show you that he means no harm and that he’s not a threat, but with that sparkle in his eyes and that sly expression never leaving his face. 

“I know we kind of started off on the wrong foot, but I was hoping that we could fix that” he paused, stretching out his hand, “I’m Lee Felix,” he introduced himself with a wink. It was nice to finally put a name to the face, but in all honesty, you didn’t really give a damn about what his name was or were you curious about what he wanted from you. Apparently, it was too much for you to ask him to leave you alone, either that or he was too dense to get the hint. 

“Alright, Felix, as much as I enjoyed resolving that little issue, I’m extremely busy. So, if you wouldn’t mind?” 

Shooting him one final glare, you assumed that this was the end of the conversation between the two of you, and all you needed to do was to wait for him to leave and refocus back on the mountains of papers in front of you. However, you were naive to think that this was the end of your conversation, and as far as you could tell with Lee Felix, he always needed to have the last word. 

‘You know, my feelings were deeply hurt the day we met, and I think it’s only fair for you to make it up to me,” something in his tone of voice shifted causing you to whip your head in his direction and away from the studyguide in front of you. This should have been a major red flag, a glaring neon sign starring right in front of you, but you would be lying if you didn’t say that he intrigued you. Perhaps it was your upbringing, or maybe it was the incessant warnings about people like him, you weren’t sure—the only thing you knew in that moment, for once in your life, he had your undivided attention. “My grades are kind of slipping and in order to keep this scholarship and stay at this ‘prestigious’ school they need to be a bit higher,” he paused before flashing you a blinding smile, “so I was thinking that you could tutor me and we could really spend some more time getting to know one another,” he finished before ending his proposal with a wink. 

You had to give it to him, the dirtbag had guts. 

The confidence and ego that seemed to ooze out of him was unbelievable and it was hard to believe that people like him still existed. And just like that, you were once again uninterested in the boy sitting in front of you. 

“Is that all? I think you already know my answer to that question, now if you could excuse me,” rolling your eyes, you wave him off with a dismissive flick of your wrist. Of course, you should have expected that this wasn’t all that he had planned, he wasn’t known for being a quitter especially when it came to people like you. The two of you were more similar than either of you cared to realize and unbeknownst to you, Lee Felix was determined not to walk out here without having your number in his back pocket and a promise that you were going to see him again. Instead, he did what he did best—completely disregard what he’s been told and follow his instincts. 

“Think about this for a moment, the infamous and obviously talented child of the [L/N] refusing to help a poor and unfortunate boy like me, surely that won’t make a great impression on the professors or even the media once they catch word of this,” he shrugged letting the weight of words sink in. You hated to admit it, but he was right. Your family was powerful, but in exchange for that power, every single thing that you did was scrutinized—your daily lives constantly under the microscope. While it was considerably bad press to be seen around people like him, especially with the amount of warnings that you received from your parents as well as other members in the community, there was no denying that it was perhaps even worse press for you to completely ignore and reject him. “It’s really up to you, princess/prince.” 

You had no choice, and he knew it. 

“Fine, I’ll tutor you,” you turned away from him for a second to grab a pen before scribbling your phone number on a piece before ripping it off and handing it to him. Before he could take it from your hand, you snatched the piece of paper from out of his reach. “Just letting you know, I’m not doing this for you. Meet me at the library on Friday and make sure you’re not late.”

Grabbing the slip of paper out your hand, and his drink in the other, he stood and made his way towards the door. You couldn’t help but watch him go, a frown present on your face. With a final wink, he was gone and out the door, and you could finally relax and relieve all the tension that was built up in your shoulders. Mentally scolding yourself, you wondered how the hell you even ended up in a situation like this, in a matter of only weeks you managed to break the only promise to your parents and somehow make acquaintances with one of the very people that you swore to hate. 

At this point it was useless to try and study, there was no way that you could possibly study after a distraction like that. Gathering your materials, before haphazardly shoving them into your bag, and grabbing your drink and walking out of the cafe door. The weather was transitioning between autumn and winter, the brisk air blew against your face as you walked, your mind replaying everything that happened within the span of a few minutes. 

Scoffing to yourself, you shook your head as you made your way back to your dorm. Fine, if Lee Felix wanted to make an enemy out of you, then so be it, and from this day forward you were determined to make his life a living hell.

three. 

After sitting in the library for almost half an hour, you were about a millimeter away from losing your shit. As usually the library was pretty quiet and the only noises that could be heard were the faint rustling of papers and the dull hum of the heater. You had threatened him not to be late, and you had even promised him that you would leave if he was even a minute late, but somehow you found yourself sitting at one of the many wooden tables in the gigantic library tapping your pencil impatiently. You should leave, that much was obvious, but there was some part of you that was holding onto hope that he was going to show. Standing up, you scolded yourself for being so foolish, you were smarter than this—you were smarter than him—but somehow you allowed yourself to end up in this situation, again. 

“Sorry I’m late, princess/prince, I got caught up with a few things.” 

You didn’t even hear him approach, but as you turned around you were met with his figure. It seemed like his entire wardrobe was composed of only dark clothing, his outfit pretty much the same as it was less than four days ago. The only difference was the gold chain that he adorned around his neck, which was a stark contrast compared to his black clothing. He noticed how your eyes seemed to be drawn to the flashy object, before he quickly placed the object underneath his shirt and cleared his throat. However, there was something different about his appearance than before, his hair was a bit messier and tousled than usual, his skin glistened and was a bit more flushed, and there were visible red or pink marks that littered his neck. 

Oh. 

That realization finally seemed to draw you from your daze, as you stared back at him, your steely [E/C] eyes met his mahogany ones. Under your gaze his eyes seemed to soften a bit and it wasn’t until he saw your arms crossed against your chest did he realize the gravity of his mistake. 

“You’re late,” you practically growled, “if you’re not going to take this seriously then fine, I told you not to waste my time and if you’re going to be a piece of—” 

Felix’s hard and once impenetrable exterior was suddenly cracked by the fierceness and fire that shone in your eyes, only then did he feel some sort of small pang inside his hair. This was an entirely foreign feeling to him, and even stranger was that you were the one causing him to feel this way. For his entire life he has been dealing with people like you, those that dripped with wealth and decadence, but he knew that there was a hidden evil within them. The facade was only a ploy to distract from the devil inside of them—they were malicious, unforgiving, monsters that from day one have done nothing but persecute people like him. People like him were rendered powerless against the people like them, kicked to the desolate part of town and condemned to live a life of misfortune and suffering. Felix knew exactly what to say that would make your blood boil, that would aggravate you till you wouldn’t be able to stand the mention of his name, he knew exactly what to do to make you despise him even more, and yet his mouth and words failed him. 

For once, he didn’t know what to say, so he instead slammed his books down on the table—the sound echoing in the almost silent library. A sound like that was bound to have repercussions, and the glares and disgusted looks you received was enough to force you into submission. You should have just walked out of the door, but going against your better judgement and rationale, you decided to stay. Sitting down, you pulled the textbooks and notebooks from your bag as Felix sat next to you taking out his own materials. Flipping the book to the first page, you pointed at the first problem. 

“Let’s start with this problem first and make sure you show all your work,” you gestured to the first of many problems in the workbook, “oh, and if you’re ever late again because of some dick appointment, I’ll make sure that every single person on this campus knows how small that four inch dick of yours really looks like.”

After that, the two of you seemed to fall into a comfortable rhythm. There was minimal talking between the two of you, coming to the mutual agreement that you were only here for one purpose and one purpose only. But, just because he stopped bickering with you for once didn’t necessarily make your job any easier. There wasn’t really any nice way to put it, but he was horrible at everything. It was expected of course, unlike the other students that attended the prestigious JYP University he didn’t need to pass the rigorous entrance exam nor did he need extremely high grades in high school. You had your work cut out for you, but you weren’t one to back down from a challenge. But that didn’t mean that Felix was going to make it easy on you. 

While you have tutored other students in the past before, you could safely say that none of them were quite like Lee Felix. Never have you met someone so unmotivated and lazy. He was the one who was practically begged for your help, and now he’s sitting here with his head resting against his arm absentmindedly doodling in the margins of the book. 

“Look, if you’re not going to take this seriously then what are we even doing here? You’re just wasting my time and your own,” you huffed, tapping your pen harshly against the workbook to stir the strawberry blond from his thoughts. “At least you could pretend to do the work that I’m assigning you, instead of blatantly ignoring everything I say.” 

That grabbed his attention, as he sat up straighter and stretched his arms over his head as he rolled his eyes. “That’s easy for you to say when you’ve had everything handed to you all of your life. I bet you don’t even understand what it’s like to have to work hard for something, princess/prince,” he scoffed. Your head snapped in his direction, his words echoing in your head. 

What the fuck did he just say to you?

“You think I’ve had it easy, well newsflash, princess/price, you’re not the only one whose had a hard life. Yes, privilege does exist but don’t you even think for a damn second that I haven’t worked in order to get here to this university. Just because you were admitted on a scholarship and without taking the entrance exam, doesn’t mean that it was the case for everybody,” you huffed as you stood up, causing an abrupt noise as the chair slid against the wooden floors. “My parents used their money to buy their way through life, but there is only so much money can buy. And if you really think that I bought my way into the school, then why did you even ask me to tutor you in the first place?” 

Your last outburst received the nastiest glares from the other students around the both of you, and if looks could kill you would have been dead over ten times over. But at the moment you couldn’t care less, this was your final farewell—your final “go-fuck-yourself” to Lee Felix so you could finally be rid of this parasite. With the last slam of your chair, you turned away from the male and made your hasty escape towards the exit of the library. 

If you ever saw him again before the year was over, it would be too soon.

four.

This year was probably the year of firsts for Lee Felix, in addition to meeting you he was also beginning to experience these foreign emotions that came along with you. In no way shape or form was he a bully, instead he often had some certain choice words for those that exhibited egotistical and arrogant qualities—and in his defense, they were usually the ones who started it. He was known for his unforgiving nature, after all, there was no way he could live the lifestyle he did without being this way. This feeling of guilt and regret was new for him, in his opinion what he said to you wasn’t even the worst thing to make it past those lips, yet the look of fiery passion and hurt that was written across your features was enough to make him think twice. He felt apologetic, even though he practically spits poison every day to people like you, something about you attracted him, pulled him in and made you different. 

That being said, he was horrible at apologizing. 

Which was why when you could feel a presence next to you during the next lecture, you didn’t even bat an eyelash. Nor did you even dare to look at him as he slammed something down on your desk, before turning away and mumbling to himself. Upon further inspection, you found a Coke can sitting untouched and unopened with a note taped to the front with two simple words written on it. 

I’m sorry. 

Rolling your eyes, you glanced to the right where you knew he would be sitting with some of his other friends. They were always the ones making the most noise in the class, treating the lecture as a study hall instead of an opportunity for growth and maturation. You could spot three of them easily, their freshly dyed hair sticking out sorely in the sea of neutral colors. They were too far away for you to tell what they were talking about, but their gleeful expressions and smiles etched on their faces probably meant that they were up to no good. You could spot Felix immediately, he distanced himself from his group of friends. While he still engaged in the conversation, he was passive, his brown eyes dull as his mind seemed to be elsewhere. 

This was the first time that you have seen the fire extinguished from his eyes, and he looked so goddamn pitiful. As if he could sense your eyes, his face turned to meet yours, his eyes catching you red-handed. His expression was complex, to say the least. On the one hand, all traces of  remorse and regret seemed to disappear completely and was replaced with another emotion that you couldn’t read. Furiously you turned away from him, your cheeks dusted with a pink hue. Thankfully, before he could manage to approach you the professor entered at the front of the room and began the lecture, your thoughts now becoming full of Shakespeare’s prose and the impact of foil characters in Romeo and Juliet, leaving no room to worry about that imbecile. 

You had to admit, Lee Felix definitely did have some charms. If he didn’t have something at least, then there would be no reason why you found yourself sitting next to him in this empty lecture hall, the both of you sprawled over notebooks and countless works of Shakespeare at your disposal. You should be mad at him, furious even, he was nothing but a good-for-nothing gangster who had the audacity to insult you—but here you were, crawling back to him. But, even through his shitty apology you somehow found it hard to stay away. He was dangerous, the closest thing that you had to breaking the rules and to give him up would be bringing your life back to normalcy—uneventful, boring and you would be damned if you ever had to give him up and return to life before. As infuriating as he was, he came into your life like a whirlwind and while at times he made your life a living hell, you kind of enjoyed his presence. 

Of course you were wary about tutoring him again, but your fear was soon quelled by the fact  that his personality seemed to have done a complete flip from the day before. Not only was he attentive, but it just goes to show that if he would just sit down and put his ego in check for a second, then maybe he actually had a chance at succeeding at this school. With his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth nibbling softly on his lower lip as his hand moved quickly across the paper to solve the problem. His hair would continually fall in front of his eyes as he concentrated, and he kept swiping at it every so often. Your hand itches to reach away and brush away those stray locks, but you refrain yourself from doing so, instead opting to pick at your sleeve as you admired his expression. 

“It’s getting late,” your voice sounded foreign against the silence, those three words being the first thing you have said to him in the past few hours. “Maybe we should call it a night, and continue next week.” He nodded, prying his eyes away from the rows of words in front of him, helping you gather your materials into one place and pack them into your bag. Wordlessly, you both pushed in your chairs before exiting the lecture hall together. 

The walk outside was silent, while the previous argument didn’t necessarily still hang in the air, it’s presence was still made apparent due to the wall of tension between the two of you. The campus was softly being illuminated by the streetlights that littered the property, aided slightly by the moonlight that seemed to cast the entire scenery in a different light. There was something different about the university when the sun went down, while it certainly wasn’t a ghost town (the constant parties on campus made sure of that) it made the campus look almost softer and whimsical in a sense. The ancient buildings that were used as classrooms during the day time had transformed into castles, the streets practically shining when the moonlight sparkled on them and you—you felt as if you could rule it all. 

You both stopped in front of a sleek black Harley Davidson, the motorcycle in pristine condition and didn’t have a single scratch on it. There was no denying how expensive this was, and for once it looked as if he actually belonged at this school with a ride like that. You knew this was where the two of you were meant to part ways. For you, it was back to the dormitories—hopefully being able to sneak in before room check and for him, back to his other life, doing whatever misfits like him do best by causing mischief and mayhem in the dead of night.

This was your cue to leave, turn on your heels and rush back to your dorm room, but you couldn’t help but stand there and watch him. Felix looked absolutely ethereal in the moonlight, his tan skin glowing and eyes sparkling—and you were entranced, watching him unclip the helmet from the handlebars of his motorcycle and holding it in his hands There was this unknown tightening in your chest, this foreign hitch in your breath, your hands growing clammy as the seconds continued to pass on. 

“Here, put this on. I like to think that I’m a safe driver, but safety first,” his voice calls out to you, before the black helmet was tossed your way. Fumbling with the object for a few seconds, you finally caught it as your brain finished rebooting. As you looked down at the helmet, and back at him you were at a loss of words. “Well, are you coming or not? I don’t have all day, princess/prince.” 

His head was cocked to the side, and while his words had a bit of bite to them, his expression is playful. You were supposed to be the rational one in this situation, and the “correct” answer was clearly staring you right in the face. You were old enough to take care of yourself, and you certainly didn’t need a dollar-store version of a knight in shining armor to take you home. 

“I can make it back on my own, thanks for the offer—”

It took him two strides in order to make it over to you and a total of ten seconds to get you on the bike. Two seconds in order to yank the helmet out of your hands, three seconds to secure it on your head, three seconds to pull you onto the vehicle behind him and two seconds to wrap your arms loosely around his waist. 

“Hold on tight.” 

That was the last thing he uttered to you, before he revved the engine and the two of you sped off into the night. At this rate, it was too late to even think about getting off unless you wanted to seriously injure yourself. Instead, you opted for clinging onto his body and pressing yourself flat against his back as you held on for dear life. Immediately, you could feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach the moment the vehicle started, the wind practically making you deaf as the scenery of campus whipped around you in a blur. Yes, you were scared, after all you were riding around on a death trap with a boy that you barely know and who was currently in control of your life. Despite all of these factors, there was something exhilarating about riding with Felix. The feeling of your hair whipping around you, speeding through the empty streets of campus and the faint smell of sandalwood and lemon that emitted from him was intoxicating. And it was safe to say that you were drunk off this feeling. 

By the time Felix pulled in front of your dorm room, you were still buzzed and your senses were working over time trying to process everything around you. It wasn’t long before reality washed harshly over you, removing your arms from his toned waist and scrambling off the bike, the helmet still sitting lop-sided on your head. Your whole body was aflame, every place where you made contact with him was burning and your heart was beating painfully loud against your chest. 

“Thanks for the ride,” you muttered, clearing your throat, avoiding eye contact with him. He didn’t say anything in return, instead placing the break down on the motorcycle and walking over to you. His fingers brushed against your face as he unclipped the helmet, which sent a new wave of heat to rush to your cheeks, before he took the safety gear off you and tucked it under his arm. If you had blinked, you might have missed the way his eyes flitted over your lips, as he unconsciously licked his lips before turning on his heel and making his way back to his vehicle. 

The only evidence that this wasn’t a dream and was real life was the faint smell of gasoline and the roar of a motorcycle in the distance, signalling his departure. 

five.

Over the next few weeks, the two of you have met at the university’s cafe between eight and ten times for the purpose of studying. Granted, you both were studying (only because Felix knew you would have his head if he didn’t concentrate) but there was this underlying reason why you both kept coming back. His presence was like a drug, addicting and thrilling, and you couldn’t keep away. Both of you were chasing that high, the overwhelming feeling of euphoria and you were both relentless in reaching your goal. It started that night that he dropped you off at your dorm, and ever since then you’ve been hooked. His lips didn’t even manage to touch yours, and you were quite disappointed at this fact, but you weren’t going to let him go that easily, no if he wanted you to work for it, then so be it. And that’s how you found yourself, practically slaving away over textbooks all for him. 

It has become a ritual for the two of you to linger outside of his lecture hall on exam day. He would always pick you up from your dorm that morning and take you to his classroom, where you would both wait until the very last second before leaving his presence. Time with him was precious, it was fleeting and you always wanted to spend just a second longer with him. He looked gorgeous in the sunlight as it tangled itself up in his locks of hair, bouncing off his dewy tan skin before capturing his entire body in its rays. A cup of coffee always in his left hand, while his right held onto a packet of stapled papers, his messy scrawling decorated the pages and there were a few places where your neat handwriting made an appearance as he recited some facts off the sheets. 

“So, the whole point of having Fortinbras and just mentioning him in the play is to be a foil character for Hamlet?” 

“Sort of, remember Fortinbras was also trying to take over Denmark as revenge for Hamlet murdering his father,” you reminded him, shaking your finger gently in front of his face. There was a teasing expression written on your face, and he returned it with a sneer of his own. You both stopped a couple of feet in front of the entrance of the classroom as he took the stack of papers before smacking his forehead with them, a groan escaping his lips. 

“I give up, how about we ditch this exam and instead I’ll treat you to your favorite pastries at that bakery down the block,” he suggested, lifting the papers away from his face and giving you a dazzling smile. On any other person, by this point they would be putty in his hands and he would easily be able to have his way with them. But you knew better, and for the most part you would like to think that you were immune to his charms. 

“Are you trying to bribe me, Felix?” 

Your eyes narrowed at his choice of words with one eyebrow raised, but a teasing smirk was dancing across your lips. Rolling his eyes in your direction, he placed his hands up as if he was surrendering as a small chuckle escaped his lips. 

“Me? I would never!” Sarcasm dripped off every word that he spoke, turning away you as he refocused his attention back on the study guide in front of him as a look of disgust overcame his features. “I want to know, how likely is it that you’ll still associate with me even after I fail this test, because the odds are currently not in my favor.” 

There was something about his tone of voice that seemed to throw you off a little bit. Yes, he was still trying to keep the conversation with you as playful as possible, but you could hear the slight undertone of insecurity and doubt in his voice. He was genuinely worried about this test and it showed. It was quite an odd sight to witness, the boy who weeks before didn’t care about anything except annoying the crap out of you was worried about something as mundane as a test. 

“Hmm, well if you fail this exam then I’m not sure we can be friends anymore,” you slyly spoke, “you know, I don’t associate myself with losers.” 

The word “friends” caused something to bloom inside his chest, a warm feeling spreading throughout his entire body. Honestly, he’s never really thought to put a definition on your relationship, sure the two of you have spent a lot time together the past few weeks to study and cram for this exam, but everything wasn’t exactly business related. There were times during those sessions where you would both chuck erasers and pencils at each other, making fun of each other’s favorite foods and having conversations that were far from the original topic of the works of William Shakespeare. He enjoyed your presence, and liked having you around, and if being your friend meant that he could continue standing by your side then so be it. 

“I’m a loser? Says the one who literally spends all their time studying and didn’t know how to let loose until I showed you how—your definition of ‘fun’ was spending four hours isolated at the library reading about the influential aspects of Renaissance paintings in modern art,” Felix countered, thinking back fondly on the memory.

The two of you continued to playfully bicker even after entering the lecture hall, only managing to quiet down as soon as the professor began administering the test. You finished a lot quicker than he did, and you could see his pained expression as he continued to struggle with the assignment for the next hour. The class was silent, students either leaving after the examination was completed or were sitting quietly on their phones waiting for the rest of the class to finish the exam, and with everyone mostly distracted it gave you a good excuse to admire him from afar. His face was contorted with a whole bunch of different emotions running through his features, and while you were considering helping him on at least one problem, it would violate your code of ethics—not to mention that he was a big boy, and you were confident that he could manage by himself. 

It was another forty minutes before he finished, standing up with a visible frown on his face as he handed the test back to the professor before making his way back to you. Both of you walked out the classroom side-by-side and in silence, and as you exited the building you began to notice the worry that seemed to have etched itself into his face. Slapping him lightly on the bicep, you brought him out of his stupor and flashed him a smile that seemed to calm his racing heart for now. 

“Relax, let’s go to the cafe down the street to get your mind off this test. Remember, I accept bribes in the form of anything that has caffeine or is sugary and sweet,” you suggested, looping your arm with his and tugging him towards the building. 

And for about half an hour, that seemed to do the trick. The test was soon forgotten as he watched you devour a cinnamon bun, and drink at least two cups of coffee as you both chatted aimlessly about miscellaneous things. It wasn’t until he was walking you back to your dorm and he heard a ping! from his cellphone did the worrisome thoughts come flooding back in. 

“95, huh I knew the professor was going to drop that question,” you shrugged, glancing down at your phone, before pocketing it. As you looked back on his figure, you could see his face fall slightly behind the phone, and you knew this meant bad news. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.” 

Felix tugged the phone out of your reach, holding it over his head as you came closer and stood underneath him. The two of you were only a few inches apart, and you could practically hear his heart hammering in his chest, and the warmth from his breath as he towered over you. 

“Promise you won’t get mad,” a small but playful pout sat on his lips as he continued to hold the phone out of your reach. Rolling your eyes, you continued to jump and try to reach the phone, but since he was taller than you it was pretty much impossible for you to reach. “Hmm, an 80 isn’t that terrible for studying is it?” 

It was back, his signature cocky smirk that repulsed yet attracted you at the same time, flitting across his lips. With your mouth agape, you weren’t sure what you were supposed to be feeling at the moment. All you were aware of was the surge of undistinguishable emotions that flooded your body and before you could even begin to process what was going on, your arms somehow find their way around his waist with your head resting against his chest. His entire body stiffened up at your touch and you could feel his heart racing against your ear, your heart beating at the same speed. Only a few seconds seemed to pass, before you could feel his hands on your body, they were tentative at first, but soon held you with as much strength as you gripped his body. 

There it was again, a few seconds late and you would have missed it. Despite the redness in your cheeks and the overwhelming amount of embarrassment that radiated off of you, your eyes glanced up to meet his own, watching as they tentatively flitted over your lips. He seemed unsure of himself, deciding whether he really wanted to follow through with his actions, and in that split second he decided to risk it all, casually leaning in—hoping to close the already short space between your bodies. 

They are nothing but worthless nobodies and they will bring you nothing but trouble. Promise me, you’ll stay as far away as possible from them, please. 

In an instant, your body untangled itself from his, your breath ragged and your eyes darting everyone except his face. He stood there dumbfounded, he wanted to reach out to you, to ask what he did wrong—was he misinterpreting the signals, imagine the chemistry between the two of you, did he make a mistake? You barely had enough brain power to focus on him as you could feel your heart crumbling inside of your ribcage, your breath coming out in short spurts as you struggled to regain control over the situation at hand. You couldn’t recognize yourself anymore, the person that you have become after attending the university for a few measly months and you have already strayed so far from where you started. But this wasn’t the type of growth that you could be proud of, fraternizing with the enemy, the same enemy that you were warned countless times before to stay away from. 

This was wrong—everything was wrong. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, your life wasn’t supposed to come to this point as you stood here as living proof of everything that your parents despised. But, you weren’t that far from salvation. You had been delusional for months, and it was about time that you started making amends. Whatever thing that you had with him was now over, and it was about time that you began living the life that your parents wanted you to have, free from parasites and monstrosities like him. 

Muttering some sort of excuse, you backed away from him before taking off back to your dorm, leaving in your wake a bewildered heartbroken (although he would never admit it) Lee Felix in your wake. 

six. 

You have successfully managed to avoid him for three days, but you knew that was just luck. He knew your schedule like the back of his hand, you have told him a numerous amount of times where you were throughout the day and well, old habits die hard. Honestly, if he really wanted to find you he would have done it already, but he was being a gentleman and giving some personal space to let you calm down before the confrontation happened. You were grateful in a sense, you needed this time to reflect on what an utter disaster you have become. This has gone on for too long, what started off as bringing some joy and excitement to your dull life has spiraled out of control. You lost yourself in the process, fading to the background as this unrecognizable version has taken center stage. What would your parents say if they saw you like this, completely different from the child they raised you to become, fraternizing with the enemy and sympathizing with the same scum they told you to avoid for your entire life. 

Regret oozed through your entire being and you wished that you could take back everything that has happened. You should have turned him down that fateful day, rejected him cold-heartedly in the cafe, and let the rumors come about you and your family—the outcome would have probably been better than your current reality. While you couldn’t go back and change the past, you could instead work on mending the future, which is why you thrusted yourself back into your studies at full force. There was no place for distractions where you’re heading, and you assumed it would be easy to surround yourself with other intellectuals that shared your same passion and drive. 

This would prove more difficult than you originally assumed. The atmosphere on campus has changed completely, and to put it frankly, you were being avoided like the fucking plague. Every time you walked past a group of students, you could hear the hushed whispers and feel the glares being directed your way. Obviously, they were smart enough not to say their comments loud enough for you to hear or for you to catch them staring, as they looked away as soon as you even turned your head in their direction. Even some of your friends, the same ones that you’ve known perhaps your entire life would even spare a glance in your direction. You could even feel the glares from some of the members of Stray Kids, and while you were not necessarily on speaking terms with them, it didn’t give them an excuse to be rude with you.

You did your best to ignore the lingering looks and comments throughout the day, but as you strolled out of your last class of the day, you couldn’t stand it any longer. In particular, there was a group of girls that you have practically known all of your life, ever since elementary school, who had the audacity to mutter your name and laugh as you walked by—and that was your breaking point. You were usually a patient person and usually weren’t quick to rush to judgement, but this was the last straw. Rolling up your sleeves, you marched up to them with a scowl written across your face.. 

“If you have a problem with me you should say something to my face instead of talking shit behind my back, you fucking cowards,” you hissed, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you glared at them. Two of the girls mumbled something under their breath, tugging at the sleeves of the main girl in the center. But, she wasn’t intimidated by you, instead she took a step forward till your faces were only a couple inches apart. 

“[L/N] [Y/N], long time no see. Where’s that boyfriend of yours, is he off robbing some banks?” her voice was shrill as she hissed out that insult. Her behavior was typical, and while she appeared to act condescending and superior towards you, her true emotions were written as plain as day across her face—she was jealous. It was in the way her rhetorical question had that unnecessary sharpness curled at the end of words or the way the scowl on her face was a little more prominent than it needed to be. In all honesty, you couldn’t blame her. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, Lee Felix was quite an attractive person, but that was all besides the point. He wasn’t yours to begin with and whatever relationship the two of you had was now nonexistent, so it didn’t matter how pretty you find his face. 

“He’s not my boyfriend, so if you could kindly back the—” you huffed, readjusting the stack of papers and textbooks in your arms. 

“Whatever, look we don’t mean any harm, honestly we’re just worried about you, honey. I mean, you’ve heard the rumors about people like them, they’re dangerous and we’re just worried about you getting in harm's way,” you could see the way the glint in her eyes seemed to return after you confirmed that were in fact not dating Felix. The fake sincerity in her voice was piercing to your ears, and you wanted nothing more than to get rid of her and stop her from prying into your personal life. “Plus, what would you parents say if they see you hanging out with someone like him?” 

So that’s what this about, this was the entire underlying reason why, this is why she decided to pick a fight with you. Of course, everything was about power, it always is with someone like her and her family—the Moon family was always power-hungry gremlins. For many years your family has sort of allied itself with the Moons, not by choice, but just because of circumstances. You have known her your entire life, and up until this point you have always known her to be jealous of everything that you had. And now, it was no different, she always wanted what she couldn’t get her hands on, and everything in your life was currently on the menu.It was the typical story, she wanted to use him for what she did best, flirting with danger—like your parents, hers would practically disown her if they found out she was fooling around with someone with low status like him, but the thrill and the temptation was too great to pass up. It was all for the thrill, and some desire was too strong. 

Oh did you have some choice words for her, but it seemed like your voice failed you felt a warm hand envelop your wrist. Whipping around you were once again met with an eyeful of black clothing that obscured your vision. The heat radiating off of him was almost suffocating, and you struggled to catch your breath around him. With a final glare in the direction of the trio, he tugged your wrist and your body followed as he dragged you away from the trio of girls. The two of you rounded the corner to one of the Biology lecture halls, before you finally grasped control of yourself and shook off his hold from your body. 

You were your own independent person meaning that you could definitely handle yourself, and definitely didn’t need someone like him to save you. There was an unreadable expression written across his features, as you cradled your burning wrist  to your chest. Neither of you dared to speak a word, the awkward silence was deafening, both of your eyes were diverted towards the ground distracted by the concrete sidewalks. You needed to get out of there, as far away as you could manage and while you didn’t want to be the one to break the silence, you knew it was necessary unless you wanted to prolong your time spent in his presence. 

“Thanks for you know, everything that you did back there, but I was handling things on my own.”

You still couldn’t look him in the eyes, knowing that you would break if that ever happened. Instead, you opted to look straight ahead, finding some interesting looking trees that stood out behind him. His scoff startled you slightly, causing you to quickly look at his face before diverting your eyes once more. 

“Whatever you say, princess/prince. I’m sure you could have managed just fine on your own,” he rolled his eyes. That statement that ignited a fire within you, your face flushed and your palms growing sweaty as you balled them up into fists. 

“What do you mean by that?” you hissed, in an instant your eyes locked with his own—and your expression immediately softened. His demeanor also seemed to soften under your gaze, and he hesitantly approached your figure, till only a couple of inches stood between the two of you. But, you weren’t going to let him get away with it that easily. As you attempted to take a step back, his hand grabbed your wrist suddenly, stopping your body from moving away from him any further. “Hey, look, I’m serious, I’m not some damsel in distress that constantly needs saving. I can take care of myself and I don’t need you constantly babysitting me, like I’m some child because I—” 

With two steps the distance between the two of you closed, his face leaned and before you knew it, his lips were pressed against your own. He tasted like caramel with a bit of a smokey flavor, not quite like barbeque and not quite like cigarettes, perhaps something in between. His lips were slightly chapped against your own, but the kiss itself was gentle, his hands placed gingerly on your hips as he pulled you against his body. He was a fantastic kisser, by the way, every direction that his lips moved in and the way he was holding you made you practically putty in his hands as you melted into his touch. Soon, the need for oxygen was too great, the two of you breaking apart as the only sounds that could be heard were the pants from the both of you that stood out harshly against the quietness of the campus. 

“We, oh god, we shouldn’t have—” you paused, attempting to gather your thoughts, trying to quiet the thousands upon thousands scenarios and ideas that were running through your head at the moment. Your parents, god, if they ever found out about this you would be ruined. Everything that you have worked for over the years would be completely shattered, demolished and bulldozed by the boy that stood in front of you—and for some reason, when you looked into his warm brown eyes, you didn’t seem to care. You were never really a reckless person, but for him, you were willing to risk it all. At this point in time, what he meant to you was worth more than whatever punishment your parents were going to inflict on you once they found out. 

“You know I don’t care about what people think, and neither should you. Why is it any of their business what the two of us do with our lives? If I like you and you like me, then I don’t see the problem,” he pushed your body back a little bit, so he could look into your eyes. For once, there was no cockiness or arrogance in his voice, instead he looked at you passionately, with his hands holding yours and his thumb rubbing circles on the tops of your hands. There was so many unspoken words between the two of you, but just this once his touch and his presence was enough. 

And for once you could safely say that Lee Felix was right, in this moment it was quite honestly you and him against the world. 

seven. 

To say that things were weird between the two of you was definitely an understatement. Neither of you addressed what had happened a couple of nights ago, the kiss was almost a taboo subject and to mention it meant that you both had to address the change in your relationship with each other. Instead, it was easier to ignore everything that changed and instead pretend that everything was just fine between the two of you. In all honesty, you would be lying if you said that you never considered a relationship with him, and in reality, that is all you have been thinking about the last couple of days. You never thought that love could feel like this, every moment with him was as if you were floating, drifting endlessly on cloud nine with no intentions of stopping. Every stereotype and previous assumptions about him were completely thrown out the window. He was perhaps the kindest soul that you could ever meet, despite his rough exterior, and he treated you with the utmost kindness, his manners rivaling some of the more posh boys that you have dated in the past. He was a complete gentleman and never pushed you to do anything that you didn’t want to, respected his boundaries and of course, acted as the epitome of the perfect boyfriend. You knew that you should tread with caution, the honeymoon phase was still in full effect, but with him, you couldn’t help but dive straight in. With him you were loose and reckless, the complete opposite of everything that you were molded to be by your parents. 

And while you were unsure of where your relationship with him stands, you were first and foremost his tutor, you would be damned if you were the one who ultimately caused his grades to slip again. Which is why most of your dates the past few days have been focused on only studying, the two of you meeting up at cafes or the library in order to help him prepare for this upcoming final on Literature of the 20th Century. There was a slight tension between the two of you, understandable considering the circumstances, but you were adamant that there would be nothing to distract him from acing this exam, and this was evident in how you threatened him with everything under the sun if he even dared to try anything other than studying. 

Before both of you knew it the exam was quickly approaching, the last study date seemed to fly by in a matter of minutes, and you both found yourself walking the familiar path on the way to the lecture hall in time for the morning exam. As usual, Felix clutched the study guide in his hand as he walked, mumbling little facts about each work of literature that was present on the page. You couldn’t help but smile at his mannerisms, watching his face furrow as he was deep in thought made him appear almost cute, vastly different from his every day cool and cocky exterior. 

“So, what’s my prize this time for scoring well on the exam?” he asked you coolly, cocking one eyebrow in the air playfully, the study guide soon forgotten in his hands. 

“Bold of you to assume that there is a prize, I mean, studying hard and putting in the work and receiving the outcome you wanted sounds like enough of a reward to me,” you shrugged, giving him a wink. In response, he shot you a teasing glare shaking his head and rolling his eyes. 

“While that sounds very uh tempting I have another idea,” he paused slightly for dramatic effect before continuing, “if I get an A on this test, then I think you should promise me something.” Of course, he didn’t really go into details after that, citing that if he talked about it any longer than he will jinx himself and not only fluke this test, but he will also cheat himself out of this deal. 

Bidding you a quick farewell, he disappeared inside the lecture hall blowing you a kiss before vanishing behind the wooden doors. Even in a situation like this he seemed to find time to be flirty, ignoring the obvious tension and oddness between the two of you in favor of attempting to restore some sense of normalcy. He was different to say the least, and that’s probably what attracted you to him in the first place, and with a slight shake of your head, you turned away and walked towards your own classroom. 

And you couldn’t begin to hide the redness in your cheeks or the boisterous hammering of your heart beneath your ribcage, which confirmed what you had previously known already—that you were head-over-heels in love with this boy. 

As soon as Felix stepped foot outside of the lecture room, his eyes desperately scanned the campus grounds looking for your figure. He was ecstatic and couldn't wait to share the good news with you, but as his eyes moved around looking for any sign of you, he was disappointed to not see your figure in sight. This emotion was evident on his face, and it was hard for him to hide it, as he opted to shove his hands inside the pockets of his leather jacket. He wanted to boast to you, to shove his high grade in your face and smugly demand his prize—an official date with you. No, he wouldn’t accept anymore of this “study date” bullshit, while he did get to spend time with you (which he did very much enjoy) he wanted something that wasn’t underneath the guise of school. He wanted something that was real and concrete between the two of you, and this was the perfect opportunity to voice his true intentions. 

Felix was no idiot, the kiss that you both shared was something that doesn’t normally happen between a tutor and a student, let alone between friends. At the moment he wasn’t really sure where your relationship stood, the two had walked the very thin line between friends and lovers, and after the kiss, a boundary was crossed and it’s too late to go back now. Pulling out his phone, he decided to send you a quick text just in case you were running late from class. 

very annoying (but cute) boy: hey, where are you?? 

very annoying (but cute) boy: i think i would like to redeem my prize right now, and in order for me to do that i need you to be here 

Even after ten minutes there was no response from you, while it wasn’t that odd for you to go a bit radio silent when you’re busy studying, but he thought it was a bit strange of you to forget something as important as this. That was it, you must have become preoccupied with something else, and you’ll end up getting back to him when you find the time. Shrugging his shoulders, he pocketed his phone before taking off to find the rest of his friends, his thoughts lingering on you the whole way there. 

It’s only a few hours later when an announcement is made across the campus, alerting the entire student body of your disappearance. Of course the word “kidnapping” isn’t used in order to not alarm the rest of the student body, but the meaning behind your disappearance was evident across the campus. The first thing that he did once the news was broken to him was punch a wall, sure, not the most effective thing to do but at the moment he was unable to contain himself and his emotions. He was angry, in fact he was more than angry, and he honestly didn’t know what to do with himself. How could this have happened, especially under his watch? You were his responsibility, he was supposed to be able to protect you from everything, especially things like this, but he has failed you. 

Currently he was both a mess inside and out, his hand coming in contact with the coffee table that was situated in the center of the room. His eyes were ablaze, a storm brewing within them, as he glared at the taller male in front of him. The rest of his friends gathered around the two males, watching the scene unfold in front of them. 

“What do you mean we can’t go and save her? We’ve done recon missions like this all time, we will in and out before anything really happens,” Felix slammed his fist down on the coffee table, shaking the furniture in an attempt to prove his point to the male in front of him. However, Chan was more mature than that and would not be easily swayed by irrational persuasions. 

“I know you care about them and under different circumstances I wouldn’t be opposing you, but we can’t risk anything right now. The media’s attention is already fixated on us, and causing any more publicity like this would draw us even more into the spotlight, and right now we don't need everything we do to be a spectacle for the public to criticize." 

It was logical, every single word that ushered past his mouth and Felix knew that. But, he couldn’t help the fire that spread across his entire body, tingling from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers, urging him to do something, anything, calling him to action. He couldn’t take this bureaucracy anymore, following the rules in order to appease the ever critical public and for what? The outcome was always the same in the end, the public always demanding (and never satisfied) for a change, a way to exterminate the vermin that lived in the streets, and they always drew the short-end of the stick. Forced to retreat back into the outskirts of the town, hiding as if they were the ones who committed the sins, while the real demons hide among the general population. 

The door slammed closed behind him, the sound echoing slightly in the empty streets of the campus. In wake of your disappearance, it seemed like the student body and the school was taking extra precautions by instilling a mandatory curfew and for once, it seems that the student body was actually complying. Felix scoffed, shoving his hands into his pocket, before turning and taking off in a random direction. He couldn’t think straight, his brain too busy being clouded over by the sheer frustration and anger that he felt. In this moment, he truly understood what it meant to be helpless, and he could earnestly say that it was the worst feeling in the world. The fire inside was itching for him to do something—to take action, but as much as he wanted to, he was completely helpless to the situation at hand. 

And for the first time in his life, Lee Felix felt utterly defeated.

eight. 

It has been three days since you have gone missing, and he could swear that he was losing his mind. There was nothing, no clues, no witnesses, nothing—as if you had simply disappeared without a trace. By now the campus had returned to a version of normalcy, the streets were no longer empty, the classrooms and dorms repopulated, and the campus seemed to buzz with life once again, which only seemed to enrage the male. He couldn’t understand how everyone could simply pick up and move on, turn a blind eye to the fact that it hasn’t even been a week since your disappearance and suddenly, it was perfectly acceptable for everything to return to normal? No. He wouldn’t stand for this, he couldn’t. His conscience wouldn’t allow him to idly sit by and wait for news to come to him, instead he needed to be proactive—be out there searching and not resting until he brought you back safely. 

But, here lies the problem. Felix was floating in the same boat as the detectives, officers and everyone else looking for you, with absolutely no leads on who took you and why. All he could do was rely on his gut instincts, and thus far in life, there wasn’t a time where his gut has ever steered him wrong. Everything about this was pointing to their rival gang Neo Culture Technology, or what they liked to call themselves, NCT. Sure, it was only a hunch that he had, but everything seemed to fall into place around this theory. Exhibit A, they had the means to do it. Saying that they were extremely well funded was an understatement, in more simpler terms, they were loaded. Anything they wanted, they could have just by waving a stack of bills and it was done. Exhibit B, they had the motive to do it. The rivalry between the two gangs was no joking matter, even though they both seemed dominant now, any action was a small enough spark to set the whole rivalry ablaze once again. And he would damned if this wasn’t the signalling flare. Exhibit C, his gut was telling him that this was the answer. Now, there have been many things that Lee Felix has been wrong about in his life, his gut has always steered him in the right direction—and right now, it was practically screaming at him to follow this lead. 

However, there was a slight problem and that came in the form of someone named Bang Chan. Felix was explicitly told not to move a muscle, to not do anything that would draw attention to the gang, and rescuing you was bound to blow everything that they have worked so hard for—obliterated due to his selfish desire. But, he couldn’t help himself. What kind of person would he be if he had the chance to possibly save you and instead decided that the reputation of Stray Kids was more valuable. No, if he did that he would embody exactly what society deemed him: a monster. 

That’s how he found himself here, somewhere past two in the morning outside one of the many abandoned warehouses in the inner city. It was almost idiotic for him to be here, alone, with no backup and he was certainly a madman to try to even attempt to pull something off like this. The darkness provided a decent cover and gave him the slight element of surprise, but with no windows, it was impossible to actually see if he was walking into a trap. All he was running on was his gut instinct, and while it has never failed him before, there was always a first time for everything. 

Bracing himself, he kicked the doors open putting up his fists and readying his stance, prepared for a fight. But, it never came, his posture immediately relaxing as soon as he looked towards the center of the vast room. There you were, bound to a chair with rope and gagged, but otherwise unharmed staring at him with wide eyes. Navigating around the miscellaneous shipping containers and wooden boxes that plagued the room, he ran to you, undoing your gag and began working on the ropes that held your body to the chair. 

“I thought you would never find me,” you choked out, your voice hoarse and scratchy. The relief that flooded your body once you saw him almost had tears pooling in your eyes. Suddenly the frigid air of the warehouse didn’t feel that cold anymore, and it was as if all your prayers had finally been answered. Within the next minute, he had freed you from your binds, taking off his leather jacket and draping the article of clothing over your shoulders in an attempt to keep you warm, while wrapping one arm around you and pulling you into his body. Despite all the warmth that he was providing, you were still freezing, and you could barely feel your legs moving as he attempted to guide you out of the warehouse. 

You were vaguely aware of him talking, his lips were moving yet, at least to you, it seemed like there was no sound coming out. The blank expression on your features was enough to indicate this fact to him, as he instead tried to navigate you faster through the warehouse. It was obvious that he was worried, it was written all over his face—the way his eyebrows were furrowed, his arm wrapped just a bit too tightly around your shoulders, and the way his other hand kept hovering over his pocket as if he was going to pull a weapon out any minute now. Come to think of it, you haven’t seen your captures in a while, and that probably was not a good thing. It had slipped your mind, but as Felix led you out of the warehouse it seemed to be the only thing on the forefront of your mind. 

The feeling of anxiety seemed to crawl up your throat, the thought of being captured again causing a new wave of panic to wash over you. Never have you experienced a situation as horrible as these past few days, and you were not willing to relive this horrifying experience again. With these overwhelming new emotions everything seemed to be too much for you, added onto the sound of distant sounds of sirens and bright spotlights that seemed to dance in front of your field of vision, your body couldn’t hold on any longer as you suddenly collapsed—becoming limp in the arms of your savior. 

It took a second for Felix to adjust your newfound weight in his arms, grunting slightly as he picked you up and began carrying you through the open doors of the warehouse and was met with a swarm of police cars and officers with their guns drawn directly at him. 

Fuck, what did he manage to get himself into?

nine. 

Felix knew that he wasn’t supposed to be here, but then again, when has he ever followed directions? Hospitals were never his favorite place, and in all honesty, he tended to avoid them when he could, the sterile and cleanliness smell from them making him feel as if he was choking on a gallon of hand sanitizer. But, at the moment, he was here of his own free will—lurking around the corridors of the building for something specific. It was obvious that he stuck out like a sore thumb, his dark clothing standing out against the cleanliness white background, but for some reason no one seemed to pay him any attention. Instead, every nurse, doctor, and patient were too preoccupied with their own tasks, far too busy to pay him any mind. 

Rounding the corner with his hands tucked deep into his pockets, his eyes scanned the halls of the hospital before landing on a specific room, PATIENT ROOM 325. He glanced to the left, then to the right, and after making sure that no one was around, he pulled the handle of the door and opened it just enough to slip into the room. 

It was dark, and the only light came from the open windows in front of him, casting a soft glow. The full moon hung brightly in the sky and the stars were on full display tonight, and it would have been a beautiful sight if he wasn’t focused on something else. A couple of feet away from the window was a stereotypical hospital bed, or what he could assume was a hospital bed, with the curtains drawn around it. There was no other noise in the room besides the faint hum of a few machines by the bedside and the occasional sound of crickets from outside, which caused him to question if there was perhaps anybody in the room. 

Taking another step forward, he reached forward and grabbed one side of the curtain, prepared to see who (if anybody) was lying in the bed. However, a voice stopped him dead in his tracks. 

“You know we’re supposed to stay away from each other.” The voice was hoarse, but still recognizable, and his heart clenched at the sound. He stepped forward, grasping at the curtain in front of him, his knuckles turning white from how firmly he was gripping the material. There was an internal war raging inside of him, trying to decide if he could even bear to see you in your current state. However, he soon decided against his current judgement and before he could reason against himself, he yanked the curtains aside to reveal the sight of you before him. 

In all honesty, you could have fared worse from the whole ordeal, but you managed to only make it out with slight dehydration and some minor cuts and bruising. Nevertheless, Felix’s breath hitched at the sight of you as he slowly approached the side of your bed. Even with your hair a mess, the prominent bags underneath your eyes, and a small but tired smile, he couldn’t help but think that you were the most beautiful person that he has ever laid eyes on. 

“You’re doing it again,” you purse your lips, your eyes narrowing as you drink in his figure in the moonlight. 

“Doing what?” 

“Looking at me like I hung both the moon and the stars in the sky.” 

He was thankful for the dimness of the room to conceal the flush of his cheeks. Approaching your bedside, he sat at the very edge of the bed, almost afraid to get any closer, as if one slight movement would break you. The both of you soon fell into a comfortable silence, but there was a slight amount of awkward tension that hung in the air. You wanted to tell him so many things, spend the rest of your lifetime apologizing for dragging him into this mess, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say a word—everything you want to say sitting heavily on your tongue. Instead, you gingerly moved your hand to brush over his own and let it rest on top of his own as he interlocked your fingers together. There it was, a silent conversation exchanged between the two of you, and when you gave his hand a long squeeze, he gave you a small squeeze back. 

There were sounds coming from outside of your room, the sound of low chatter followed by the brisk footsteps was enough for Felix to recoil his hand abruptly and to stand suddenly. It was the cold wave of reality raining down on the both of you, that he shouldn’t be here and you shouldn’t be seeing someone like him. 

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right, all of this wasn’t your fault,” you muttered, choking back tears. You reached up to grab his hand once again, feeling his body slightly tense up at your touch. This was a cruel world and the two of you were simply living proof of that statement, unable to change your fate and the bad luck that came with it. Ultimately, the entire plot was an elaborate plan by Stray Kids’ rival gang in order to draw attention to them at that prestigious school and keep the gang in the limelight to distract from the nefarious activities executed by NCT. And for the most part, while it seemed like everything turned out alright in the end, there were consequences that needed to be paid. 

After spending some long hours in the police station, Felix was finally released after being found innocent of any involvement in your attack. Not only  did he earn a complete berating from Chan, but he was also banned from seeing you, and if he was caught well, the wrath of Chan was going to come raining down on him once more. But for you he was willing to risk it, you were different from every other risk that he has ever taken in his life, and if he was being completely honest, you were the best one. And he would like to think that he could one day reap the rewards. 

You on the other hand, were rushed to the hospital where you were met with your parents on the phone, demanding lawyers and the police enforcement catch whoever did this to their child. Immediately they blamed Felix, and would not listen to a single word you said defending him. Their minds were already made up, and in their minds he had tainted you—changed you from their perfect and lovely child, into someone just like them. 

“You can’t change my mind, sweetheart, my decision is final,” your mother declares, shuffling around the hospital room, rearranging your items that were haphazardly thrown around the room. Your dad stood in the corner with his arms folded across his chest, not uttering a word against your mother’s declaration. 

“You want me to move halfway across the world after I’ve gotten into the most prestigious university here, and you’re telling me not to be upset?” you throw up your hands in exasperation, sitting up in the bed. 

Your sudden outburst caused your mother to stop in her tracks, before taking three steps closer towards your bed, until she was only a few feet away. Her eyebrows were scrunched together, the look in her eyes was enough to send chills down your spine, and the snarl sitting on her lips let you know that you were about to be in a deep pile of shit. 

“[Y/N], I’m going to tell you once more and after that I don’t want to hear any more complaints from you anymore, understand? We are all moving to America and away from this wretched place and that’s final,” she spat at you, before turning away and resumed tidying the room, “you need a fresh start away from this tainted place, I mean, look at what you’ve become—infected by those vermin, and look what they turned you into! A fresh start will be good for all of us, and maybe finally getting away from those despicable people can you finally return to how you were.”

Your mother was never a woman who actively changed her mind once it was set on something, and her latest decision was no different. Everything was practically being finalized as you and Felix both, the entire house being condensed into cardboard boxes then placed on a plane to go to America, and you were going to join them in a few days. 

“You should probably get back soon,” your voice was barely above a whisper and if it was any quieter the strawberry blond would have missed everything that you had uttered. HIs jaw visibly clenched at your words, his face turned away from you so you couldn’t see the internal turmoil that was written across his features—eyebrows furrowed, a deep frown sitting on his lips and a storm brewing within his brown eyes. “I don’t want to get you into more trouble than I already have.” 

“And what if I don’t want to go?” 

He turned around to face you, his usually warm brown eyes now ablaze, and you could only describe the expression on his face as the most passionate that you have ever seen him. Reaching out for your hand, he grasped it, intertwining his fingers with your own and gripping onto you as if his life depended on it. 

“Please, don’t make this harder than it already is,” you turned your head away from him, feeling tears fighting to spill over. He didn’t need to see you like this and it would only make it harder to say goodbye. With one blink, the tears start falling, cascading down your cheeks before dribbling down onto the sterile hospital sheets below. 

Felix couldn’t help but feel his heart break at the sight, and instead opted to gingerly pull you into his arms. Your head rested against his chest, your tears soaking his shirt and sobs wracking your body as he patted your back soothingly. He wasn’t sure how long the two of you stayed there like it, but it was only until your sobs had turned into quiet sniffles and your tears had almost ceased. 

“I don’t know what the future will hold for the both of us, but I promise you, I will find you. I don’t care how long it will take, but someday I will make my way back to you,” his voice was soft, the softest that you have ever heard from him, but instead of feeling the usual comfort from his words, you couldn’t help but feel a cold sense of dread wash over you. 

“You shouldn’t make promises that you can’t keep,” you muttered. His body stiffened at your words, and it was as if the confusion was radiating off of him, and it was only when you pulled your body away could you really see his face. 

ten.

Bidding goodbye to some of your classmates, you readjusted your backpack before walking out of the cafe and into the busy street. America was certainly nothing like you could have ever imagined, in more ways than one it was similar to the city that you grew up, but completely different at the same time. In the six months that you have been here, you have adjusted to the best of your ability. Everything from the culture to the language, at first completely baffled you, but as you listened to the locals aimlessly chat amongst themselves as you walked down the sidewalk, you couldn’t help but feel as if you fit right in. 

The sun was high in the sky, the warm rays shining down on you, as you carefully slipped your sunglasses over your eyes and continued walking. In the distance, you faintly heard the sound of a motorcycle roaring in the distance. The revving of the engine continues to get louder, until you one zoom past you and continue on towards the highway. Not that it mattered, but you couldn’t make out the driver behind the tinted helmet, and for some reason that caused the ache in your heart to return. 

You paused for a second, just as the pedestrian signal turned green, allowing you to cross the street. Around you people moved forward, carrying on with their conversations, but you were frozen on one side of the street. And suddenly you were back in there all over again, the familiar feeling of his arm wrapped around your waist, the melodic sound of his laughter ringing in your ears, and the stupidly cute smile that always seemed to grace his lips whenever you were around. Every memory about him seemed to crash over you, until you were drowning in a sea of moments where you could never return. 

Your heart clenched at the thought, and briefly you allowed yourself to wonder about him. Over the months that you have spent here, you have repressed every thought about him. In the beginning everything reminded you of him, he was everywhere, and nowhere at the same time. However, as time went on, it became easier. You made new friends, went to new places, and slowly but surely you started to accept that this was the way that things were—and you were coming to terms with your newfound reality. But sometimes you days like these happen, and you’re suddenly crippled with the thought of him. 

However, you are instead learning how to swim, and managing to stay afloat in the ocean of memories. You were learning to breathe without him by your side. You exhaled, releasing a shaky breath, before refocusing on the crosswalk in front of you. Looking both ways and making sure that the light was green, you continued walking—one foot in front of the other. 

You were grateful that he walked into your life. He taught you lessons that you could have never learned on your own, and gave you memories that you would never trade for the world. In the end, while it was never meant to be, you would never forget the taste of the fruit that you were never meant to have—the irresistible sweetness of a boy named Lee Felix.

[luffles424]

Kairos

☼ Pairing: Seokjin x reader

☼ Genre: A/B/O dynamics, college au, omega!reader, Alpha!CEO!Seokjin, s2l, fluff, smut, minor angst (they’re idiots)

☼ Count: 25.6K

☼ Warnings: teasing, marking (+ a little blood), unprotected sex (stay safe kids!), knotting, creampie, multiple orgasms, impreg kink, minor dom/sub undertones, oral (f receiving), fingering, pillow humping, dirty talk, praise kink, heat sex, seokjin is a soft alpha

☼ Summary: kairos καιρός (greek, n.) - the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement

When your financial aid falls through for your last year of school, you fear you’ll have to drop out and postpone your degree. Until Taehyung gives you a suggestion to make a lot of money, quick. His idea can’t possibly end well, can it?

☼ a/n: So, guess who’s not dead? Sorry it took so long to get something new out, life’s been... busy. I’ve got other stuff currently in the works and I hopefully won’t take quite so long to put something else out again. Anyway let me know what you think! My ask box is always open ~ 💙💙💙💙

You stared at the letter from your school, reading it for the fifth time and hoping that maybe, just maybe, the words had rearranged, said something different. Anything else. Changed to say something other than there was a problem with your financial aid. That it fell through and that your tuition, the full semester tuition, would be due in just two weeks when classes started. You felt your throat closing up as tears blurred your vision, panic at what you were supposed to do now clawing at your throat and stealing your voice. Distantly, you heard a door down the hall open. 

Seconds later, arms were wrapped around you, the letter falling from your limp hands to lie on the ground innocently, like that piece of paper didn’t just effectively ruin your life. You’re guided to sit on the couch, where you promptly buried your face in their chest, breathing in the comforting scent of vanilla and alpha. A choked sob leaves you and your hands reach up to clutch at their shirt, desperate for some kind of grounding. A hand rubs soothingly at your back as they murmur soft words to you, words that you can’t make out of the rushing noise in your ears, as they wait for you to calm down. Minutes passed and you take a deep shuddering breath, feeling marginally better despite the fact that you felt like your world was crumbling.

“Think you can talk about it now, babe?” 

You sit up a little, scrubbing your hands over your face before looking up at Lisa’s concerned face. You give a small shrug before looking down at your lap. She rubbed your back again. 

“I can call Jimin over if it’s an omega thing and you don’t want to talk to me about it. I know I don’t always get everything and you know I won’t be offended if you need him instead of me.” She offers, tugging her phone from her pocket.

You shake your head. “It’s not. I-” You paused, swallowing back a fresh wave of tears, trying to ignore the panic that threatens to swallow you. “My financial aid fell through... I- I have to have the whole semester paid in two weeks.” You pause to take a deep breath. “Even the payment plan installments are too big for me to afford.” You look at her with watery eyes. “I can’t finish my last year.”

“Oh, honey.” She frowns, voice sounding as wreck as if this were happening to her and not you and fully wraps her arms around you. “We’ll figure something out, I promise. You’re going to graduate with all of us if it’s the last thing we all do.”

You hiccuped a laugh at her proclamation. “You make it sound like you all are going to war for me.”

You feel her shoulders lift in a shrug. “You know we all would.” She murmurs, pressing a soothing kiss to your temple.

The two of you sit on the couch in silence for a while, Lisa’s alpha presence doing wonders in helping to keep you calm and grounded while you try to think of anything you could possibly do to get the money for school. But you come up horribly empty for anything you could do that would suddenly get you that much money. And as the time crawls by, you feel more and more despondent. 

Your pondering, Lisa called it sulking but you maintain that you were spending the time trying to think and solve this, is interrupted by a knock at your door and you shoot Lisa a look, knowing full well that you should’ve known that she was up to something. She had been far too quiet since she’d gotten you to stop crying. She gives you a wink in response and rises to go open it. Seconds later, you’re enveloped in another hug as your house appears to be invaded by the rest of your friends. You chuckle as Jimin rubs his cheek against yours before he’s sitting and pulling you close with an arm around your waist. He maintains a hand on you even as he turns away to direct someone you can’t see from your position. Your other friends trail in, all leaving comforting touches and the comforting blend of their scents on you before migrating elsewhere.

You see Taehyung and Jennie carrying bags into the kitchen after they pass you, Tae ruffling your hair and Jennie swiping a hand across the back of your neck. Jisoo squeezes your shoulder, not breaking conversation with Lisa as they follow the other two to the kitchen. You turn to Jimin, eyebrow raised.

“Did I forget about plans or something?” You question, given the events earlier, you wouldn’t put it past you to have forgotten plans. It certainly didn’t help that you all collectively invaded each other’s apartments on almost a daily basis.

Jimin shakes his head, giving you a little squeeze and you can tell by the way his eyes flit around your face that his instincts are telling him to comfort, so you reach up and grab his hand, twining your fingers together. “Lisa told us what’s going on. We came to cheer you up.” He grins.

You look from him to the bags that you can just make out on the counter, they look suspiciously full of bottles, and back again. “And you’re going to do that, how?” You ask skeptically.

Jimin winks. “Drinking.”

Hours later finds you splayed out on the floor, pleasantly drunk and your mind is blissfully free of any money worries for the moment. Jungkook and Rose had showed up not too long after the others, promptly joining the festivities as Jimin had enthusiastically poured a few shots down each of their throats. He claimed it was in the name of them catching up to everyone else. You suspect he just wanted someone else to take shots with, since everyone already present had switched to mixed drinks after the first couple of shots much to his disappointment, because you catch him sneaking a shot or two for himself. 

Taehyung flops a hand out, hitting the part of you he can reach which ends up being your shin. You giggle, squirming a little so you can look at him. 

He beams at you as he pushes himself up onto an elbow. He pauses for a moment, blinking a few times like he’s trying to focus on something, which you suspect isn’t far off because the world is probably spinning from how quick he sat up. “I know how you can pay your tuition!”

Jimin shoves him and Taehyung collapses back to the floor with a huff, breaking into drunken giggles for a moment as Jimin hisses out, “I already told you that’s a stupid idea.”

Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him once he’s got his giggles under control, though the grin stays firmly in place. “Let her decide that.” He tilts his head so he can look at you again. “It’s the best idea ever. Trust me.” He pauses for dramatic effect, the room quiet as they wait to hear his grand idea and you can hear Jimin mumble something about Taehyung having a death wish. “You can auction off your first time having a heat partner. Any alpha would kill to be your first knot.” He gestures.

Your cheeks instantly flush. That was quite possibly the last thing you had ever expected to have come out of his mouth as an idea. And you’ve known him for a while and he’s had some weird and creative solutions to things before. “Taehyung! I can’t do that!” You instantly protest.

He pouts, gestures growing more animated as he talks. “Why not? It’s literally the perfect plan. You get paid and you get laid. Win win! You said yourself that your heat’s were starting to get worse and you were thinking about taking a partner this next one. Why not make some alpha shell out the big bucks for the honor of giving you your first knot. Alpha’s love that sort of shit.” He looks over to the couch and Jimin’s comment of death wish is starting to make a lot of sense. “Right, Lisa?”

You turn to look at the girl in question too, stifling a laugh at the thoroughly unimpressed look she’s giving Taehyung. “Yeah, Tae. All us alpha’s love exactly that.” She squints at him like she’s contemplating whether it’s worth it to actually get up and you see the fight leave her as she instead chooses to take another long sip of her drink.

He grins, clearly missing the sarcasm and continues like Lisa proved his entire explanation to be true. “Come on. Just think about it. You get to have some awesome sex and you get to finish school.”

“She’s not a prostitute, Taehyung.” Jennie cuts in gently. 

“What?” His face scrunches in confusion, like he’s not talking about you selling yourself for money too. “I’m not saying that. Also there’s nothing wrong with sex work. Y/N would just be using what she’s got to her advantage!”

You wave your hand to stop Jennie’s retort, knowing that if you don’t stop this then the claws will come out. You understand her point and you know, as does Taehyung if he weren’t so drunk, that Jennie’s words just aren’t coming out the way she intends them to and you know both are too drunk to understand what the other is saying right now. “Jennie it’s fine. I didn’t think that’s quite what he meant. And Tae, I’m not going to sell myself just so I can finish school.”

Taehyung pouts, arms dropping dejectedly to the floor with a muffled thump. “I’m just saying, it’s an option. You should be open to all options.”

Taehyung lets it drop after that and Jungkook brings out Mario Kart to distract from the suddenly tense atmosphere. You mouth a ‘thank you’ to him and he gives you a sleepy smile. He helps get the game set up before he’s shifting over to you and laying with his head on your thigh. You thread your fingers through his hair, watching as everyone around you suddenly becomes much more animated as their competitiveness is magnified by their drunkenness and you bask in the warmth and love from your friends.

You wake up the next morning with a slight headache and your throat so dry it feels like you swallowed sand. You groan and bury yourself back into your covers, hoping that maybe if you don’t move that you’ll magically feel better. Someone shifts next to you and you instinctively shift closer to the warmth, humming contentedly when Jimin’s bright citrusy scent washes over you beneath the covers. Jimin’s arm wraps around you immediately as you snuggle into his chest, eyes slipping closed again as you think back to your friends suggestions from the night before, knowing you’re going to have to decide on one of them, or maybe all of them since you need so much money. Taehyung’s idea is the first thing that comes to mind and while you try to ignore it in favor of thinking of other ideas, it keeps coming back. You know it’s a bad idea, you know your friends would never fully approve, you’re still slightly unsure how to feel about the idea of doing something like selling sex to a stranger and the possible problems that might arise from that. Instead you purse your lips, shifting even closer to Jimin. 

“Jimin?” You whisper, hoping it’s loud enough to wake him up. He hums in response, rubbing his face into your pillow, but otherwise makes no indication that he’s awake. You giggle at how adorable it is. “Jimin.”

His eye cracks open, squinting at you. “What?” His voice is raspy and his arm tightens around you. 

Your arms come up, hands fidgeting nervously with his shirt as your eyes slip down because you don’t think you can ask this and look him in the eye. “Do you think I could really make enough money selling off the opportunity for someone to be my first knot?”

You feel Jimin tense beneath your hands and you refuse to look up. You don’t know what you’ll see, but you know you wouldn’t be able to handle whatever look it is, you’re in a much to precariously emotional place right now. 

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re actually considering Taehyung’s harebrained scheme to make money, are you?”

You swallow. You don’t want to admit that his idea seems like the best way to make the most money quickly. That you think it might be your only chance to pay for school. That a little part of you maybe likes the idea of a bunch of alpha’s fighting for you with their money. 

Jimin tilts your chin up gently, forcing you to look at him. He studies your face for a moment before he sighs. “You’ve already decided.”

Your cheeks flush but you shoot him an indignant look. “I have not! I wanted your opinion. You’re the only other omega I know well. Tae’s just a beta, he doesn’t really fully understand a heat, no matter how much he helps you out.”

Jimin hugs you close, stroking your hair and you feel yourself deflate a little. “I think that, whatever you decide is the right choice and I will be behind you 100%. I think the concept is dumb, but the idea of alpha’s fighting for you is actually pretty amusing.” He pauses before continuing, pressing his grin to your forehead. “Okay, no I’ve changed my mind. Please do this. I want to see those dumb brutes throw their money at you for something as silly as being your first heat partner when you were thinking about giving it to some alpha on campus for free.” He pulls back and his grin is full of mischief. “Take em for all they’re worth.”

You snort at that. “I don’t think anyone will pay that much for it. Hopefully it’s just enough to help with school.”

And so that’s how you find yourself sat at your laptop, Jimin practically glued to your side as you work to create a website for this. Jimin tries to be helpful, but you both are lacking in the skill department for building something quite like this. After a half hour of struggling, Jimin smacks your arm. 

You rub the spot as you glare at him. “Um, ow? What was that for?”

“We’re so dumb.” He rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out. “Why are we not calling Rose to come help with this? You know, since she’s a computer science major and this is literally what she’s good at.”

You blink at him, a little dumbfounded. You really should have thought of that in the first place before deciding you were fully capable to build a website this complicated. You pause though, fear of her judgement when she finds out what the site is for creeping up. Jimin must see the hesitation on your face because his expression softens and he sets his phone on the coffee table.

“We don’t have to. I’m sure with enough time… and googling, we can figure it out. But you know Rose loves you and wouldn’t judge you. Besides, I’m fairly certain that out of all of us, and after Taehyung, she’d be the most likely to start up a job as a camgirl. Easy money and it’s fun and you get men groveling at your feet? Sign her up.” He laughs.

You chew your lip thoughtfully, Jimin makes a good point and so you nod your assent. He beams, retrieving his phone and tapping away at the screen. Rose shows up 20 minutes later, glancing from Jimin to you then back to give him a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“You said this was an emergency?”

He nods, ushering her to the couch where your laptop resides on the table. “It is an emergency. We desperatly need your help getting money from dumb alphas.” He grins.

She raises an eyebrow before turning to you. “Can you please make sense?”

You laugh, fidgeting as you explain what you want to do and that you don’t know how to do that, but you were hoping that she does and would be willing to help. She looks pensive for a moment and the longer she remains silent, the more you begin to worry that this was the wrong thing to do. But before your thoughts can get too far, she’s reaching out to pluck your laptop off the table, settling it into her lap as she begins to pepper you and Jimin with questions about how you want the sight to look and function. You and Jimin sit on either side of her, watching with wide eyes as your website begins to take shape under her dexterous fingers. 

Four hours later, Rose sets your laptop back onto the coffee table after shifting some of the takeout boxes out of the way. She gestures to the screen grandly.

“You tuition ticket, my lady.” She grins then glances at her watch. “Oh, I gotta go, I had plans with Jisoo tonight.” She gives you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I love you and everything will work out. But text me if you need any help with the website.” She instructs as she rises and leaves. 

Your nerves start to creep in as you stare at the screen, wondering if this will even work or if you’re just giving yourself false hope, this could all blow up in your face or you could get no one to bid. And suddenly this all seems like a really bad idea, the fear of rejection suddenly much worse. Jimin seems to sense your thoughts and wraps his arms around your middle, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“You got this babe. It looks perfect.”

“Are you sure? Should I change the wording? Or maybe add different pictures?” You fidget and Jimin grabs your hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“Nope. It looks great. The pictures are great, not surprising since they’re ones that Tae took.” He takes your hand, moving the mouse to the button that makes the website live. He holds your finger above the button. “Ready?”

You squeeze your eyes closed and nod and Jimin presses your finger to the button. You release a breath, peeking an eye open to see that nothing’s changed on the page. You frown and Jimin laughs.

“You gotta give it some time. It just went live. Don’t worry. The bids’ll start rolling in soon.” He pulls away slightly, closing your laptop. “Now, let’s go get changed cause I require coffee and you need to get away from your computer otherwise you’ll stare obsessively at it and call it a failure before it’s even had a chance to get started.”

You’re awoken the next day by a loud crash from the living room. You groan and push yourself up, debating if it’s really worth it. You decide it’s probably best to go and check it out in the event that it’s something bad, so you shuffle out of your room and down the hall to see what’s going on. You were expecting something broken, maybe the ceiling caved in or a pipe burst, what you don’t expect is to see a fuming Lisa being held back by Jimin and Taehyung cowering behind the couch. He perks up when he catches sight of you before quickly cowering again when Lisa lets out a growl and you wince because it sets your own instincts on edge and it’s not even being directed at you. You can’t imagine how it’s making Taehyung feel with him getting the full force of it and you want to go comfort him as he lets out a low whine. Before you can even speak, let alone move, Lisa speaks. 

“I can’t believe you put such a stupid idea in her head! That is so incredibly dangerous! Do you know what kind of danger you’ve put her in! What the fuck is wrong with you!” She snarls, seeming to have not noticed that you’ve entered the room with how angry she is. 

Jimin rubs her arms soothingly, trying his best to calm the raging alpha. “Lisa, calm down please. Taehyung didn’t force her to do anything.”

Her furious gaze snaps to Jimin and he immediately shrinks at the look. You clear your throat and Lisa looks up, seemingly surprised to see you. Her body goes lax and Jimin tentatively releases her, hands hovering for a moment to test if she’s going to do anything before he’s hurrying around the couch to comfort Taehyung. 

You cross your arms as you stare her down, everything in you telling you to do the opposite, that you want to stop her anger, not make it worse. “Jimin’s right. Taehyung didn’t force me to do anything. And do you really think I wouldn’t check out whoever wins before letting them near me when I’m most vulnerable? I thought you trusted my judgement more than that.” You approach Lisa, taking Jimin’s place and rubbing her arms. “You know I would make a plan. You know I wouldn’t let just anyone get me alone. Don’t blame Taehyung for what I chose to do.” You pause, frowning because you realize you hadn’t even told Lisa about the auction yet. “Wait, how’d you even know I went through with it?”

Her gaze shifts behind you and you follow it to see Taehyung giving you a sheepish grin. “I may have forgotten that Lisa was going to be home this morning and came over to tell you about your bids.” When you raise an eyebrow, he runs a hand through his hair. “I may have yelled the highest bid when I opened the door. And Lisa may have been in the kitchen and heard. And that’s not really something that can be easily explained any other way, so she pretty much knew instantly what I was talking about.”

You bury your face in your hands, embarrassment licking at your face. Leave it to that idiot to tell Lisa in the most inopportune time and way possible. You’d had a whole plan on how to break the news to her gently and in a way that wouldn’t involve Taehyung’s possible murder, you really didn’t want to become an accomplice to that. When you look back up at Taehyung though, he’s grinning at you.

“Your highest bid is $13,000, by the way.”

Your jaw drops and you stare at him before your turning away to go grab your laptop. There’s no way what Taeyhung said was true, this has to be some sort of joke. Pulling up the site, you’re stunned to see that Taehyung’s right. Your current highest bid is sitting at just over 13K. You chew your lip, you can’t believe Taehyung’s dumb idea is actually working. You’d had some doubts, but even when you imagined this working, you never thought it’d work to this extent. Hope bubbles in you as you let out a slightly hysterical laugh as you think about how you might actually get to finish school. 

“You’ve got to hear this.” Seokjin looks up from the files on his desk as Hoseok pushes into his office, followed closely by Namjoon and Yoongi. He’d be irritated if he hadn’t been distracted anyway, something about this day just feeling off, so their intrusion makes for a welcome break. Hoseok flops onto the couch, reading over something on his tablet as the other two take a seat in the adjacent chairs. 

Seokjin waits for Hoseok to elaborate and when he doesn’t he rolls his eyes. “Are you going to tell me or do I need to read your mind?”

Hoseok glares at him before he looks pointedly at the other seat in the little seating area in the office. Seokjin rolls his eyes again before pushing himself up and going to join the others. Once he’s settled, Hoseok finally speaks. 

“So there’s this omega that’s selling her virginity to the highest bidder.” He states, flipping his tablet around to show the article to the others and scrolling to show a picture of the omega in question. 

Yoongi snorts. “She’s pretty, but that’s such a stupid thing to do. Virginity isn’t even real.”

Hoseok shrugs. “Maybe so. But apparently some people think it is. Because her current highest bidder is willing to pay $95,000 to fuck her during her heat.”

All three of them raise their eyebrows in surprise as Hoseok gives the number. 

“No way. You’re making shit up.” Namjoon laughs and Seokjin has to agree, this sounds way too crazy to be a real thing.

Hoseok shakes his head, quickly switching tabs to the omega’s webpage where the current highest bidder is displayed, along with some photos and a little blurb about her and what she’s doing. Seokjin grabs the tablet, reading over the page. 

Hello! My name is Y/N! I’m about to be a senior in college. Well I hopefully will be once I have the money, which is where this page, and one lucky helpful alpha, comes in. I’m an omega and I’ve never taken a heat partner or a knot before. So I’ve decided to auction off the opportunity to be my first in order to help me pay for my last year of school! Even if you can’t or don’t want to bid, thank you just for checking out the page :)

“I’ll give her, she’s brave.” And cute, Seokjin thinks as he hands the tablet back to Hoseok.

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a snort. “Alpha’s are stupid.”

The others all laugh. “Yoongi, you’re an alpha.” Namjoon points out.

Yoongi throws his hands up. “Exactly! I’m dumb as fuck! So is Seokjin. And Hoseok. Namjoon is only half dumb, his genius helps balance out his alpha dumbness. Alpha’s are a stupid breed and I honestly don’t know how we manage to not only survive but somehow be considered the top dogs.”

“I take offense to calling me dumb. If it weren’t for me then you assholes wouldn’t have jobs.” Seokjin glares half heartedly at Yoongi. 

“If it weren’t for your dad, then you wouldn’t have a job either dickhead.” Hoseok snarks.

Namjoon claps to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, enough talk about statuses. We do have actual business to discuss.” He pulls out a few sheets of paper and a notebook out of his bag, spreading them out on the coffee table.

A few days later, Seokjin is waiting in line to order a coffee. This entire week has been weirdly off and Seokjin is about at his wits end with life, most recently his usual, and favorite coffee shop is closed for the foreseeable future due to some piping issues that they’re taking the opportunity to use to renovate. So he’d had to find a new one on the way to work, which is why he stands here now, surrounded by college students because he forgot that his route to work went by one of the nearby universities. 

He debates leaving and just going to the Starbucks in the lobby of his building when a girl at the other end of the counter catches his attention. He observes her for a moment, eyes dragging along her frame, trying to place why she looks so familiar. Then it hits him and he quickly looks away, cheeks heating up. Because that’s Y/N, the omega who’s selling off her virginity to the highest bidder. Hoseok has been keeping them all up to date on how it was going, his last update yesterday before he left Seokjin’s place where they’d all been hanging out. Your virginity was currently going for $166,000. 

Seokjin sneaks another peek at you as you wait for your order, tapping away at your phone screen and headphones firmly in place to block out the chatter around you. He decides that those photos don’t do you justice, you’re far more gorgeous in person and Seokjin has to force himself to turn away or else get caught being a creeper and staring. A drink is slid in front of you and Seokjin catches your smile to the barista before your turning and heading out the door. You breeze past him and your scent invades his senses, it’s warm and spicy, it reminds him of his grandma’s baking at Christmas and he could just sink into it’s comfort. He has to fight the urge to follow after you and scent you. 

He flushes darker as he jerks back to the line, wondering just where that urge had come from, he’s never had that type of visceral reaction to catching a whiff of anyone. It’s so out of the blue for him that it leaves him reeling a little bit. He tries to shake himself out of it, mechanically ordering his drink and moving to the end of the counter where he can still catch bits of it. When he gets his coffee, he leaves quickly, taking a deep breath of fresh air once he gets outside, trying to rid himself of your lingering scent. 

He gets to the office and work quickly distracts him from all thoughts of wanting to bury himself in your intoxicating smell and any interest he may have gained in you. That is until lunch time comes and Hoseok strolls in with his “omega update” as he’s come to call it. Seokjin is quick to correct him today that you have a name and he tries not to think about why he suddenly felt the need to point that out. 

Hoseok blinks at him in surprise. “Okay, here’s the update on Y/N. With just a couple hours left, the highest bid sits at $343,000.” Hoseok turns and leaves abruptly, apparently not in the mood to deal with Seokjin and muttering something about him being a moody alpha today and not wanting to stick around.

Seokjin would normally snap back at a snide comment about him being moody but all he can focus on is you and whoever is the highest bidder, suddenly all he can think about is someone spending your heat with you, someone that’s not him. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s pulled up your website and is staring at the bid button. It taunts him, whispers to him that the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach would go away if he just hit it. He swallows and shakes his head, he’s being ridiculous. He’s about to close the tab back out when the highest bid goes up and Seokjin’s skin crawls at the thought of whatever alpha just bid touching you. 

Then before he can overthink it, he’s hitting the bid button himself, quickly adding his information and what his bid is. A little banner congratulates him on becoming the highest bidder and Seokjin sits there feeling smug and satisfied. He nods to himself, pride and happiness oozing from him as he stands to go get lunch, deciding that he’ll apologize to Hoseok and treat him to his favorite as apology for getting snappy with him.

Seokjin has a full schedule of meetings after lunch and being in his element like this, he forgets that the auction ends soon. He only remembers when he’s sat at his desk going through his meeting notes and happens to catch his computer screen out of the corner of his eye, still open to your page. Thoughts of you flit through his mind again and he takes a moment to look over the page. Strictly out of curiosity he tells himself, he’s just curious at all. He freezes, realizing that there’s only 10 minutes left of the auction and he’s no longer the highest bidder. He apparently hasn’t been for a while because the bids have grown by almost $100,000 since he left. 

He panics and watches as another bid comes in and the timer continues to slowly tick down. His thoughts jumbled and his instincts screaming at him to do something, anything to get rid of the possibility of another alpha touching you. He sits frozen for another few seconds before he’s jerking into action and doing the only thing he can think of that makes sense, bidding high enough that no one else can outbid him. He frantically types his bid in, watching the timer until it’s close enough to the end before hitting the button. 

The congratulations banner pops up again and then a few seconds later another banner pops up announcing that the auction is closed and announces that Seokjin’s bid is the winner. Seokjin feels immensely proud of himself for winning, relief washing through him at the knowledge that no other alpha was going to touch you. That is, until the reality of how much money he just bid finally hits him. He stares at his screen, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he just spent $750,000 on an omega and he can’t think of a single rational reason as to why the fuck he did that. He feels slightly panicked, but at the same time relieved.

His phone rings some time later, knocking him out of his black staring at his screen and the mocking little ‘congratulations’ banner and he blindly reaches out to answer it.

“Hello Mr. Kim! This is Jaehee from your finance advising office. We wanted to verify if this was indeed you trying to send this money since it’s a very large amount.”

Seokjin shakes his head to clear the daze he’s been in. “What’s the amount?”

“$750,000, sir.”

“And what’s the name of the account holder it’s going to?”

There’s the sound of typing for a moment before she responds. “It appears to be going to a Ms. Y/L/N Y/N. Is this an authorized transfer, sir?”

Seokjin swallows. He could say no, there must have been a mistake somewhere, could fix his impulsive decision so easily. His eyes flick back to the screen and he sees the little blurb you’d written explaining why you were even doing this, your smiling face next to it. “Yes, it’s authorized. Send it.”

“Right away sir. Have a good afternoon.” 

With that she hangs up and Seokjin sets the phone back down, still stunned that he’d really done this. He could’ve stopped this, but for some reason it made him feel worse, thoughts of your disappointment when the money didn’t come. He kind of wants to slap himself, Yoongi was right, alpha’s are fucking stupid. Seokjin is contemplating how he can avoid this getting out to the others, because if Hoseok finds out he not only bid but that he won, and that he won with such a high bid, he’ll never hear the end of it. His computer pings with a new email and he idly checks who sent it when your last name catches his attention and he’s trying to open the email as quickly as possible. 

Good afternoon Mr. Kim! This is Y/N. Congratulations on winning the auction and thank you for the very generous bid! I was writing to see when you wanted to meet before my heat to work out the details of how that’ll be spent. My heat is in about a month, but classes start next week so my schedule is going to be a little hectic. I’ve attached my schedule and highlighted some of the best times for me to meet up. Our first meeting will also be supervised by my roommate, who’s also an alpha. She’s very protective and there was no way to talk her out of coming with to verify that you’re not a threat (I’m honestly really sorry she would’ve followed me even if I’d said no so this was the easier way). Anyway, I hope to hear back from you soon! I can’t thank you enough for this.

♥ Y/N

Seokjin can’t help the goofy grin that spreads across his face as he rereads your email. You sound so adorable and he’s already scanning over your schedule to see when he can talk to you in person. He feels skeptical about another alpha coming to the meeting, especially one that is protective of you, but he decides it’s worth it to see you again. It can’t be all that bad.

You’re positive that you’re seeing the computer wrong. There’s no way that number is correct. You rub your eyes as an extra measure, still trying to wrap your head around the number sitting on screen. You refresh your bank page, but the amount now sitting in your account reflects the highest bid. And you’re floored that some alpha seriously just paid you $750,000 to spend your heat with you. You’re honestly surprised that not only Taehyung’s plan work actually worked, but that it worked in such an over the top away.

You hear the others in the living room and you know they’re waiting to find out what the highest bid was. You’d made them swear not to check the website after that first day and so far they’ve all listened to you. But you’re sure that if you take much longer to go out there and tell them the results that they’ll just go check themselves. 

You switch tabs to the bidders information, getting his email and typing up a quick message, try to sound calm and collected and not like you’re literally 2 seconds away from crying from pure joy, and sending it off to him. You double check that you have his name right, because you know your friends will ask when you tell them the amount. With that, you gather your laptop and make your way out to the living room. Taehyung, Jimin, Lisa, and Rose are sitting around talking, stopping the second you enter and you shift awkwardly.

“Okay, so that’s not creepy. Why are you guys making this weird?” You whine. 

Rose snorts. “You just sold off your heat and you wouldn’t let us stay updated on the amount. We want to know. Spill.”

You make a face before stepping up to the coffee table. You set your laptop down, making sure your bank account page is up, then you flip it around so they all can see the screen, which they quickly crowd around to get a look at. There’s a chorus of gasps and then Taehyung is launching himself over the table to tackle you into a hug.

“Holy shit! I told you! Look at you! You’re the rich friend now! You can treat us to dinner!”

You snort and shove his face away from you. “Did you suggest this just so you could get free food out of it?”

Taehyung looks offended. “No! I wanted you to get enough so you can finish the degree you’ve been working so hard for. I didn’t anticipate that amount.”

“So who’s the lucky alpha?” Jimin pipes up, still staring at the screen with wondrous eyes. 

“Um, his name is Kim Seokjin?”

Rose stares at you with wide eyes. “Kim Seokjin?” She repeats and when you nod, she tugs your laptop to her and types something in before turning the screen back towards you. “This Kim Seokjin?”

You blink at the search she’s showing you. The man is gorgeous and if it’s the same Kim Seokjin as the one who bid then you can’t say you’d mind spending your heat with him, he’s certainly a far cry from the creepy old man you had been picturing as being your fate. Jimin is quick to join the two of you on the floor as you all stare at the man on the screen. Taehyung must agree with you because he lets out a whistle as he looks through the photos on screen. 

You shrug. “I’m not sure. I mean, the bidding didn’t get a picture. It was just a name and email and the banking info.” You glance over some of the text on the page. “But I think the company they mention is what his email address used. He must work pretty high up to afford that high of a bid.”

“Um, he owns the company.” Jimin adds, pointing to a line you’d skipped over when reading. He reads and then points to something else. “Aaaaaand his dad apparently owns a whole bunch more. Holy shit, you got yourself a rich rich boy.”

You glance over to Lisa sitting with her arms crossed. When she notices you looking at her, she speaks. “That just means I’m definitely coming with. Those rich CEO boys are always so entitled. He’s got another thing coming.”

You laugh. “Yes, Lisa. I know. I already emailed him and informed him that my very protective alpha roommate would be attending our meeting and that the point was not negotiable.”

She nods her approval then her face softens. “I’m glad you get to finish school now.” Then she smirks. “Taehyung is right though. You’re definitely treating us to dinner. I’ll go call the others.”

She stands, walking away as you protest being made to pay for dinner as the others laugh, you protests falling on deaf ears. 

That night you’re crawling into bed when your phone pings and you grab it from your night stand to see who’s messaging you. A little smile pulls at your lips when you see that Seokjin has responded already. Eager, you muse with a giggle. You settle back against the mattress, opening the email to see what he’s said. 

Hello Y/N. How about we meet tomorrow for lunch? I know a great little cafe we can go to. My treat of course. And I can pay for your friend as well. I’m completely okay with her coming along, I understand the risks you’re going through to do something like this and as an alpha myself, I get where her worry is coming from, so she’s more than welcome to come along. If tomorrow doesn’t work just let me know when you’d like to meet. I look forward to our meeting. And please, just Seokjin is fine. 

You bite your lip, a little thrilled that he seems even more eager to meet you already. You really hope Rose was right about which Kim Seokjin this was. You type out a quick response letting him know that tomorrow works fine and to let you know where the cafe is. Then you text Lisa to let her know that you’ll be meeting Seokjin tomorrow and that he’s even offered to pay for her lunch as well. 

With that, you snuggle under your covers. You lay there, thoughts drifting to how tomorrow might go and you let yourself drift off thinking about plush lips and broad shoulders. 

Lisa’s sat on your bed as you fuss with your outfit, rolling her eyes when she gets fed up with you smoothing out your shirt for the 20th time in 5 minutes. “We’re going to be late at this rate.”

You shoot her a glare before nervously checking your phone for the time, worried that you’ve been too preoccupied to keep to the scheduled time you needed to leave, breathing a little sigh of relief when you see you still have plenty of time. You make a face at Lisa for making you worry and go back to making sure your outfit looked okay. You still are unsure if this isn’t nice enough, the lowcut sweater and jeans are by no means fancy but it’s one of your nicer outfits. You’d looked up the restaurant that Seokjin had sent you and it seemed to be just a casual place, so you assumed this would be fine. You wonder if Seokjin is going to be wearing a suit since he’s coming from work and you decide that maybe you should change so you look more put together.

You move back to your closet, looking through the options. “I want to look nice. What’s wrong with that?”

Lisa smirks a little, standing and walking over to halt your nervous sifting through your closet. “Does this have anything to do with the fact that you might be meeting a certain Mr. Kim Seokjin of BigHit?”

You flush and swat at her hands, turning back to your clothes with the intention of finding something to change into. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would want to look nice for any alpha who won.” You pout. 

Lisa hums, looking thoroughly unconvinced which makes you pout more. She once again takes your hands, this time using the grip to pull you back in front of the mirror. She leaves you there for a moment to grab a necklace off your dresser before she back behind you to help put it on, not so subtly scenting you as she does so. She gives your shoulders a squeeze when she finished, meeting your gaze in the mirror.

“You look amazing, babe. You’re gonna knock him dead.” She winks. 

You frown, looking over yourself in the mirror. The necklace Lisa chose sits nicely just above your cleavage, naturally drawing anyone’s eyes down and you’d usually sing her praises for helping you tease a guy, except you know she’s still on edge about this, even with her support and joking. Finally you nod, knowing that no matter her reservations, Lisa wouldn’t let you go looking anything less that stunning and you gather up your bag and phone. 

You grin at Lisa. “Let’s go.”

You enter the cafe, glancing nervously around. You realize you hadn’t made a way for you to identify him from the crowd in the event that it wasn’t the Seokjin you thought, hoped, it was. You chew your lip, suddenly feeling even more nervous before you notice a figure nearby stand and turn to you with a bright smile. Your first thought is that he is breathtaking and this must be some kind of bet that he lost cause there’s no feasible reason for this gorgeous alpha to pay such a crazy amount of money just to sleep with you. Then he’s stepping toward you and Lisa and the overwhelming scent of him washes over you and you fight down the whine that threatens to spill. He smells of woodsmoke and comfort and a part of you wants to burrow into it and never leave. It reminds you of campfires with your friends, talking late into the night under the stars and the feeling of home that it reminds you of. 

“Ah, Y/N!” He greets, smile widening as he holds his hand out to you and you meekly take it, still reeling from the effects of his scent, eyes widening in surprise when instead of shaking your hand, he raises it to his lips to brush a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Kim Seokjin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He turns to Lisa, who you note also looks a little blindsided and you tuck that information away to tease her about later. “And you must be the alpha roommate and friend, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well…”

He trails off, waiting expectantly for one of you to fill in her name. Lisa recovers first, crossing her arms and letting a little of the alpha power roll off her. “Lisa.” 

Seokjin nods his head in a little bow. “Lisa. Pleasure.” He gestures to the table he’d stood from. “I have a table for us. I figured we could eat and get to know each other a little bit first before we get to the…” He flounders for a second, brows creasing. “Other business.”

He leads you both to the table, pulling the chair next to his out for you but before you can sit, Lisa is sliding into it, shooting Seokjin a look as he quickly school’s the surprise from his face. You’d yell at her for being rude, but save it until the two of you can be alone. Seokjin though, just gives her a smile then moves to the other chair to pull it out for you. You wait a second, half expecting Lisa to switch chairs just to keep you from sitting down and talking to Seokjin and have to fight back the laugh at her switching chairs constantly just to keep Seokjin on his feet and working for this. When she seems content with just being a physical barrier between the two of you, you sit, smiling your thanks to Seokjin as he slides back into his seat. 

The table is silent for a few minutes from a mix of nerves and you all looking over the menu. Well, you and Lisa are looking over the menu, when you sneak a peek at Seokjin, you find him already looking at you, menu untouched in front of him. You flush, eyes darting back to the menu, trying to focus on finding something that you think you could eat with the butterflies currently sitting in your stomach. 

The waiter comes by soon after and you all order. Silence hangs over the table after the waiter leaves, no one knowing what to talk about. You’re busy sorting through your own thoughts for something suitable to say when Lisa speaks up.

“What are your intentions with Y/N?” 

You gasp, smacking her arm. “Lisa! You can’t just ask that!”

She gives you a flat look and you feel a bit like a child being chastised. “Why not? He paid that much for something. Why beat around the bush?” She turns back to Seokjin, eyebrow arched as she waits for him to respond. 

Seokjin takes the question in stride, looking very unruffled and even like he expected it, which given your warning, perhaps he was expecting this. He clears his throat, shifting in his chair before addressing you both. “Well, there’s obviously what the original deal was.” Lisa tenses up, about to respond when Seokjin holds a hand up so he can continue. “But, while I feel like the concept of virginity is… well we’ll just say not very great. I don’t think your first experience should be with a stranger during your heat. So I’m willing to change the deal.”

You glance at Lisa and she looks surprised and you cover your mouth to smother a giggle. Seokjin notices and shoots you a questioning look. Lisa looks back at you and you can hear the unasked question in her eyes. You chew your lip, deciding that Seokjin seems like he might take the truth the best. At least you hope he will, maybe he’ll even still be willing afterward. 

You straighten your back. “So… In all honesty…” You glance down at your hands, taking a deep breath before continuing. “The media reported everything wrong, they got a little carried away, you know how embellished stuff can get when it starts getting passed around like that. My site only said that I’ve never had a heat partner or taken a knot. Everyone just assumed I was a virgin. I’m not, I’ve had sex outside of my heats.”

Lisa’s hand reaches over and she gives your arm a reassuring squeeze, knowing how nervous you were to reveal that. As the seconds tick past, your anxiety kicks up even more and you finally glance up to gauge Seokjin’s reaction to the news. His face is blank, staring at a spot just over your shoulder. The longer he stays silent the more the atmosphere feels like it’s suffocating you. You’re just about to tell Seokjin that you’ll give him his money back because this wasn’t what he was expecting to get but Seokjin’s sudden snort keeps your mouth shut. His hand covers his mouth and you watch as he starts full out laughing. You look to Lisa for help, but she looks just as perplexed by this response as you. 

His laughter finally dies down and he wipes the tears from his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. You clear your throat and Seokjin looks up at you, giving you a smile. “That’s actually incredibly hilarious. I love it. My god, you played the system like a fiddle.”

You open your mouth to say something, but you don’t even have the faintest idea what you should say. 

“My earlier point still stands. We don’t have to go through with this. And you can keep the money.”

“You’d let her keep that much money for nothing in exchange?” Lisa sounds about as incredulous as you feel. Why on earth would he let you keep nearly a million dollars without even getting what he paid for. You suddenly feel self-conscious, wondering if you weren’t living up to whatever expectionations he’d had and he doesn’t want to sleep with you now.

Seokjin shrugs, but doesn’t offer any explanation that particularly helps to calm your spiraling thoughts. “Well, I’d hope we could at least continue talking. But for the laughs alone, you deserve to keep the money. I want you to finish your degree.”

Your food’s arrival interrupts further conversation and you take the small repreve in conversation to mull over your options. You never expected Seokjin to let you keep the money while not spending your heat with you. You assumed he’d want something more for how much he paid. Something more than apparently just friendship. You notice Lisa has finished her food quicker than usual and that she’s now standing. You frown in confusion, about to ask what she’s doing when she addresses you both. 

“I believe I’ve seen enough.” Dread settles in your stomach before she turns to you with a small smile. “He seems like an okay guy. I trust him.” She turns to Seokjin, delivering one final glare along with a threat. “Don’t fuck this up, I will not hesitate to kill you if you hurt her in any way.”

And with that she’s turning and leaving the restaurant. You watch her go, you hadn’t expected her to even approve of Seokjin, let alone leave and give you time to talk to him alone. You face Seokjin again and he’s glowing as he smiles at you.

“I have to say, that was a little unexpected. Not that she doesn’t seem like a lovely person, but I can’t deny that it’s a very big relief to be able to talk to you without fear that she’s about to rip my dick off.”

You giggle. “I don’t think she’d have gone that far. Especially considering I currently have a vested interest in that particular body part.” You wink at him, delighting in the flush that colors his cheeks. “And I’ve been thinking. I’m okay with spending my heat with you, if you want. I’ll leave the decision to you since you seem to be more unsure.” You purse your lips, looking off in thought, hoping you come off as much more collected that how your mind feels. “If not, I’ll probably just find an alpha from school. I know a couple that have expressed interest in the past.”

The growl from the other side of the table surprises you and you blink at Seokjin with wide eyes just in time to see his eyes flash red. Your breath catches and you stop yourself just before you can tilt your head to expose your neck to him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and you wonder what caused that kind of reaction. 

When his eyes open again, he looks much calmer. “No, I don’t think that’s necessary. I’ll help you with your heat. You said it’s in a few weeks?”

A thrill runs down your spin when he agrees and you have to school your face to not appear as eager as you feel. You give a little nod. “Yeah. I can send you the exact date it should be.”

Seokjin thinks for a moment before pulling his phone from his pocket and sliding it across the table to you, a new contact screen shining up at you. “Here, give me your number. It’ll be easier to get a hold of me.” He pauses before adding. “In case your heat comes early.”

You nod shyly, inputting your information and sending yourself a text so you have his number too. You slide his phone back across to him and he gives a pleased rumble as he slides it back into his pocket. The two of you talk a little while longer before Seokjin seems to realize how long you’ve been here and apologizes, letting you know that he has a meeting he has to get too. He walks you to your car, looking unsure for a moment.

“Can I give you a hug?” He asks with uncertainty. 

You laugh and open your arms and Seokjin immediately envelopes you in a tight embrace. You don’t miss the way that his cheek drags across your hair and you stifle the laugh at his very unsubtle scenting. You can’t help yourself when you bury your face in his chest, deciding that if he can do it then so can you, feeling a little bit of pride when you finally step back and see the slightly dazed look in his eyes. 

You spend the rest of the night trying to dodge your friends’ teasing after they catch the whiff of Seokjin on you. Teasing you even more when you reveal that you’ll be spending your heat with him. You ignore them, spending most of the night staring at his contact number in your phone and feeling the anticipation building in your gut. You wonder if you’re allowed to text him now or if he only gave you his number in the event that your heat started early, which you give him is a lot more forethought about this than you had. You want to talk more with him, the conversation you’d had with him after Lisa left had been fun and you were eager to continue. Something about him put you at ease, despite never having met him before.

Your worries about texting him turn out not to matter because you wake up the next day to see that he’s texted you and you have to fight down the excited squeal that would definitely wake Lisa, and maybe the neighborhood. This leads to more teasing from your friends because you and Seokjin text a lot in the following days. The two of you text about everything, learning more about each other. You find out that Seokjin has a penchant for making dad jokes and you’re glad you have your phone to hide behind so Seokjin can’t see how hard you laugh every time he makes one. You know he’d be far too pleased with himself if he saw how much you enjoyed them and you find it much more fun to tell him the jokes are bad to see him keep trying to get you to react positively. He also takes the opportunity to ask you a lot of questions regarding your heats, everything from favorite snacks, fruits, drinks, what materials felt best, scents you liked, nothing seemed to be off limits to his questioning. 

When you question why he’s so curious, he sheepishly tells you that he goes into caretaker mode when he has an omega. So he’s been prepping his apartment, after it was decided that his place was better to spend your heat at because it meant that Lisa didn’t have to find somewhere else to stay for a week, stocking up on things you like and things that he knows help. You’re stomach twists, trying not to think about him helping other omegas the way he’s going to help you. You try to push the thoughts away, the jealousy burning your throat when you think about him with someone else. And so you irrationally decided it’s best to ask him how many times he’s done this to have such a system down. 

He doesn’t respond right away and you worry that you’ve crossed some sort of boundary that you didn’t know about. You end up stress cleaning the whole apartment until he finally responds. Telling you that he’s sorry, his friend was having a crisis. He assures you that his system isn’t just his, him and his friends have complied all their experiences together in an attempt to make heats less hard on omegas in their care. Which leads to him telling you about the crisis that had taken his attention. His friend, Yoongi, had tagged along to a dance class their other friend Hoseok was guest teaching at and now Yoongi is having a crisis over an omega that was in the class. 

You offer to give Yoongi some advice since you’re an omega but Seokjin declines, stating that it’s way funnier to watch the normally cool, collected Min Yoongi turn into a puddle of pining alpha over an omega that ignored him. 

It turns out that Seokjin had good forethought in giving you his number for emergencies, because two days before your heat is suppose to start, you wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. Your mind feels hazy and you have no idea what it is that woke you up, first thinking that maybe Lisa had just gotten home, but the silence in your apartment says that’s not true. A shudder wracks your frame and you realize with a small sense of dread that your heat’s come early. 

For a moment, you think about how you haven’t prepared anything for your heat before it hits you that you didn’t prep anything because you have someone else who did that for you. And once the thought of Seokjin is in your head, he’s all you can focus on. Your blankets scratch at your skin and you kick them off as a fresh wave of slick drips from you. 

You pull yourself together just enough to roll to the side to grab your phone off the nightstand, dialing Seokjin’s number with shaky fingers. The call goes to voicemail and you groan, free hand cupping your mound in an attempt to alleviate some of your rising discomfort. You redial and a few rings later he answers. His snappy ‘what’ sends a shiver through you, wanting to roll over and submit to quell the alpha seeping into his tone. 

You whine and Seokjin’s tone changes immediately. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You squirm, thighs rubbing together as you try to string together enough sounds to speak. “Heat…”

Seokjin curses. “It came early?” You whine an affirmative. “Shit, okay. Well, you’re obviously in no state to get here so I’ll be over soon okay? I’ll make it all better, little omega.” He coos, voice calm despite how panicky he is feeling. 

You whine and Seokjin hushes you, promising he’ll be there soon, that he just has to grab a few things and he’ll be right over.

Seokjin hangs up the phone, cutting off another whine from you that has his heart constricting as he scrambles out of bed. He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and takes a second to breath and to try to get his panic to subside so he can think clearly. He has to relax because he has you waiting for him, he’s your only relief and he can’t bare the thought of letting you down. And he knows that he needs to be the calm one, that you’re in no state to be the rational one. He takes another deep breath before moving into action, making a mental list of everything he needs to do before he leaves.

He grabs the first tshirt he finds, pulling a duffle from his closet and stuffing a few changes of comfortable clothes into it along with his wallet and charger. He’s about to leave the room to move onto the things in the kitchen when the pile of linens in the corner catch his eye. He pauses before deciding that taking extra sheets along would probably be smart and along with those he grabs the blanket from his bed, knowing that the scent of him buried in the fibers will be soothing to you, ignoring the thought that it’s the scent of him that will calm you and not just the scent of alpha that’s covering the blanket.

He sets that bag on the kitchen table as he begins digging through the cabinets for the things he’d purchased for you. It takes him a few minutes and when all the snacks and quick meals he’d bought for you are laid out on the counter, he realizes he may have actually bought way more than you could possibly ever eat over the course of your heat. He shakes his head, trying to reason that he was just trying to be prepared and make your first heat with a partner a good experience, pushing aside any other thoughts that try to make themselves known. Instead, he busies himself with packing up as much of the food as he can into the two reusable totes he has hanging near the fridge. 

Those bags join the other one on the table and Seokjin takes a moment to quickly run through his list, trying not to mourn the loss of all the preping he did that’s now going to waste. Deciding he has everything that he might need while there and that if there’s anything else that he absolutely needs can just be ordered for delivery, he gathers up the bags and his keys and quickly makes his way to the elevator to get to the garage. 

Bags safely stowed away in the trunk, he pulls his phone out to shoot a quick email to Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon to let them know that he’s taking his leave early before tucking his phone back into his pocket and getting into the car.

You whine again as Seokjin hangs up. You know he lives across town, you know how long it’ll probably take him to get here even if it’s late and there’s likely to be little traffic. His hanging up has left you in the suffocating silence of your apartment. You debate whether you can try to sleep again until he gets here when you realize that your door is locked and that if you do manage to sleep at all that he’ll have no way to get in. And you can’t guarantee that you’ll be lucid enough later to navigate the house to unlock the door. 

With that thought in mind, you push yourself out of bed, wobbling for a second on unsteady legs before you regain your balance. You shuffle out of your room, grateful that Lisa isn’t home right now because just the lingering scent of her makes walking away from her bedroom difficult. And you’re fairly positive that in your current state, you would’ve just climbed into her bed with her were she here and the thought makes you huff in annoyance, hating the fact that your heat pushes your instincts so far to the surface that you’d climb into bed with your best friend without her consent. 

You manage to make it to the door and get the door unlocked with no problems and you pause to press your forehead to the cool wood, allowing yourself a moment to use the coolness to keep your mind still partially yours. You turn your head, staring longingly at the couch and wanting nothing more than to just collapse on it and wait, but you know Lisa would probably kill you if you spent any part of your heat on the couch. She’ll probably grouse that you got your “heat stink” all over the apartment, knowing that you’re going to spend the day after airing the place out and lighting some candles to make it bearable for her to come back. At least the weather is nice enough to leave the windows open to do so.

With a last burst of effort, you push yourself off the door and make your way back to your room. You stare distastefully at your bed, knowing that the normally comfortable and soft fabric is going to feel irritating against your skin. You sigh, flopping onto your belly, squirming around until you deem yourself as comfortable as you’re going to get. You get a few blissful minutes where you just lay there in silence, almost peaceful enough that you feel yourself starting to drift off to sleep. 

That is until another wave of heat shudders through you. You groan, pressing your thighs together in hopes of getting some relief. When none comes you blindly reach for one of your pillows, propping yourself up slightly and stuffing the pillow between your thighs. You grind against it, moaning at the friction against your sensitive clit. You mindlessly rut against the pillow, slowly growing frustrated when all it does is keep you on edge. 

You lose track of the time, only becoming aware of just how much time has passed when you hear a curse behind you followed quickly be the overwhelming scent of Seokjin and alpha. A fresh gush of slick drips out of you and you don’t even think before pushing your ass further up into the air to present to him, the only thing filling your mind being him. You preen at the sharp inhale you hear from Seokjin, pride that your alpha is reacting so well to you but when you don’t hear him make any move closer you whine.

“Alpha…” You coo, wiggling your butt enticingly. 

Excitement courses through you when you hear him finally step closer, quickly followed by disappointment when instead of stepping behind you and touching you like you want, he walks around the side of the bed to take a seat. You bury your face in your sheets, ignoring the way they scratch at you in favor of using them to muffle your whimpers. Something clicks onto your nightstand and then Seokjin is reaching out tentatively, hand curling around your forearm. 

“Y/N? Where’s Lisa?”

You lean closer to him, shifting enough to bury your face in his thigh to hide the way your face scrunches up at his mention of your friend. “Out with Jisoo.”

Seokjin threads his fingers through your hair, scratching lightly at your scalp. “Did you tell her your heat started?” You shake your head, practically purring at the attention he’s giving you. You feel Seokjin move and you grab his arm before he can withdraw the hand on your head. He chuckles. “Don’t worry, princess. I’m not going anywhere. Can you sit up for me though?”

You shake your head and Seokjin chuckles, free hand landing on your shoulder and gently nudging you. “Princess, I need you to sit up. I know you didn’t take any birth control since this was a surprise so I need you to take it now, but you need to sit up first.”

You grumble but relent to his nudges, sitting back on your knees, moaning when the shift has your core dragging across your pillow. Seokjin’s gaze drops to the pillow, tongue darting out to wet his lips. His hand drops from your shoulder to touch the damp spot you’ve created and he growls. Your hips twitch at the sound, wanting nothing more than to shift forward the few inches separating your soaked core from his hand. He seems to read your thoughts, hands quickly pulling away and then he’s turning slightly to grab something off your nightstand. 

Turning back, he holds the pill in his hand up to your mouth. “Open, princess.” 

You obey, tongue sticking out slightly as he sets the pill onto your tongue and you let the tip drag ever so lightly across the pad of his finger as he withdraws it. His eyes darken but rather than do anything about the lust you see swirling there, he simply holds out a glass of water to you. You frown, taking it from him and taking a sip to swallow your pill. When you try to hand it back, he pushes it back towards you.

“Drink it all first. I need to call Lisa.” He says, reaching for your phone.

You pout, confused by his refusal to cave into what you both want, and more importantly, what he paid a lot of money for. He lifts it encouragingly towards your mouth and you reluctantly take a few more sips. Seemingly pleased, he nods and turns his attention to your phone, tapping at the screen a few times before bringing it up to his ear. 

It rings a few times before a giggling Lisa finally answers. “Y/N! Hey, I thought you’d be asleep by now!”

“Hi, Lisa.” Seokjin stares pointedly at the glass in your hands when he sees you’ve stopped drinking. You make a face at him but drink more of it.

“Seokjin? Why do you have Y/N’s phone? Is she okay? Is something wrong?” Lisa sounds increasingly worried as she asks questions.

“Lisa, calm down. She’s fine.” He glances at the pillow still firmly between your thighs and swallows. “Well as fine as she can be. Look, her heat started early. And it started while she was asleep so I can’t get her back to my place.”

Lisa swears under her breath. “I don’t know if I can find a place for that long. Shit, and I don’t have any spare clothes.”

You drain the last of the water and nudge the glass back towards Seokjin, beginning to grow frustrated with his dismissal of you. He takes it with a wide grin, placing it back onto the nightstand then let’s his hand rub your thigh in silent praise. You hum happily at the soothing contact. 

“Don’t worry, Lisa. You can stay at my place. The deskman knows what you look like so he’ll let you up. The door code is 92324. Some of my spare credit cards are in the top drawer of my desk in my office and you can take one and go buy some clothes so you have something to wear.” Seokjin’s thumb rubs absent circles on the skin of your thigh while rattling off instructions to Lisa.

You squirm closer, finally having enough of Seokjin ignoring you for other things and you decide to do something about it. You reach out, placing your hands on his knees. His gaze flicks to your face then drops to where your hands are slowly creeping up his thighs. His eyes narrow at you.

“What? You can’t be serious, that’s far too much.” Lisa protests. 

You fiddle with the hem of Seokjin’s shirt, smirking when his focus is more on you now and you let your hands slowly drift over to the bulge in his sweats. You see his jaw clench and grin victoriously, knowing that you’re winning.

“It’s fine, Lisa. This was unexpected for all of us.” You rub more at the bulge and Seokjin swiftly gathers both your wrists in one hand and pins them to the pillow. “Look, I need to go. I gave you an option. You’re free to take it or leave it. We’ll let you know when it’s over.” He grits out, abruptly hanging up and tossing your phone with a loud clatter back onto the nightstand. His eyes are dark when he focuses back on you and he yanks you closer by the grip he still has on your wrists. “You are just an impatient little omega, aren’t you princess?”

You whimper, hips pressing against the pillow as you feel your mind go hazy. “Alpha…” You whine.

Seokjin smirks, watching the way your hips twitch against the pillow. His free hand settles on your hip and he starts to guide you in grinding against the pillow. “You’ve made quite the mess of your pillow, princess.” He muses. “But I think we can make it dirtier.”

Your whole body feels like it’s on fire at his words and you’re nodding helplessly at his words, eager for him to finally touch you. 

“I’m going to let your hands go, but you can only touch my thighs, got it?” He waits for your acknowledgment before continuing. “Good girl. I’d hate to have to punish you for disobeying.”

You flush at his praise. He releases your wrists, his other hand joins the first on your hips to better guide your grinding. You moan at the drag of your soaking panties against your clit. Your hands immediately find Seokjin’s thighs, fisting the fabric of his sweats to keep your hands from wandering like you so badly want them too, you want to feel more than just the shifting muscles of his thighs beneath your palms. 

“Alpha… Seokjin, please…” You move faster with Seokjin’s direction. 

Seokjin hums. “What, princess? What do you need?” He coos, giving your hips a squeeze.

You whine, trying to move faster to chase your high, but Seokjin’s grip keeps you going at the pace he wants you to go. “Wanna cum… Please… Let me…” Your head drops back as you pant. “Seokjin…”

“What a good girl you are, asking your alpha’s permission first. I didn’t even have to tell you.” You nod eagerly and Seokjin smiles. “You have been very good considering how long you had to wait.” His hands slip under your shirt and the contact with your skin makes you gasp. “You can cum, princess. But you can only use your pillow to get off.”

His hands slide up to your waist, relinquishing control of your pace back to you. You quickly pick up your pace once he lets you, moaning as you rock faster against your pillow. Seokjin’s hands slide further up, thumbs brushing the bottoms of your breasts. A few more rocks of your hips, the friction of your dampened panties against your clit, combined with Seokjin’s fingers digging into your skin has you, finally, tipping over the edge you’ve been on since you woke up. 

You shudder, gasping Seokjin’s name as your orgasm wracks your frame. You continue to give a few weak grinds as you ride it out until your body relaxes and you would collapse if not for Seokjin’s hands on your ribs holding you up. He chuckles at your sudden bonelessness, carefully shifting you to lay you down then tossing the soaked pillow from the bed. He turns back to you, smiling fondly as he strokes your cheek. 

“Feeling a little better?”

You sigh contentedly, mind feeling less hazy. “Very.” You lay there for a moment, eyes closed and enjoying the small reprieve you’ve gotten. Then you look up at him in alarm. “But wait, what about you?”

Seokjin laughs again, grabbing your hand when you reach out to touch his still very prominent erection. “Don’t worry about me. Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

You pout. “Who said I was worried for you in that scenario?”

Seokjin stretches out beside you, manhandling you around until he can pull you tightly back against him, dick settled firmly against your ass. “Since your sleep was interrupted, I’d highly suggest you get some sleep now while you still can princess. I’ll be here to take care of you when you wake up.” He pauses to give a hard grind against your ass. “And by then, the pill while have kicked in and I can fuck you like you want. Nice and hard, little omega, and fill you up nice and full like you need.”

You whine, slapping playfully at the arm he has wrapped around your waist. “You just said to get some sleep. You’re just going to get me all riled up again.”

Seokjin’s nose drags across your shoulder to your neck as he inhales deeply. “Sorry. You just smell so divine, princess.” His tongue touches your neck and you feel your arousal spark again. “I bet you taste even better than you smell.”

You groan, pushing your as back teasingly. “Seokjin, either let me sleep or fuck me.”

He blows out a frustrated breath. “I can’t fuck you yet. It hasn’t been long enough and it’s not safe.”

You give him a smug smirk over your shoulder. “Then let me sleep.”

He smothers a laugh in your shoulder before he’s standing and grabbing a blanket off the floor and covering you. You’re enveloped in the scent of him and the silk caresses your skin as the fabric settles against you. 

You look over the blanket then up to him. “This isn’t mine.”

“Very perceptive of you. It’s mine and it’s silk. The scent will help you sleep and the silk is because I know cotton gets itchy against your skin while your in heat. I’d change your sheets but you seem comfortable so that’ll have to do for now.” He picks up the glass from the nightstand. “Now get some sleep. I got here in a hurry and so your kitchen is a bit of a mess so I need to go prep that so that it’s easier for me to get to things I need.”

He runs a hand through your hair comfortingly once more before he’s turning and leaving the room. You listen to him move around for a few moments before your exhaustion creeps back in and you find yourself drifting off to sleep surrounded by Seokjin’s scent.

You wake up sometime later, you have no idea how long your body allowed you to rest but it seems intent on making up for the downtime if the fire currently in your veins is anything to go by. Your panties stick to you uncomfortably and you move to try to remove them but a firm weight is settled around your waist. Once you notice the weight, you realize that Seokjin came back at some point and got back into bed with you. You gasp, body burning impossibly hotter and you immediately push your ass back against him, filled with the need to feel him inside you. 

The arm around you tightens as a growl rumbles in his chest, vibrating against your back. You squirm at the sound, you’re fairly certain your eyes probably also flashed golden and you’re a little glad that they’re currently squeezed shut so that he couldn’t see, despite the fact that you’re also facing away. Some bratty part of you that’s struggling to remain doesn’t want him to know just how much he’s already affecting you, but logic is quickly failing you because if it was still functioning, you’d realize that he doesn’t need to see your eyes to know how you’re being affected. Slick drips from you and the tshirt you’re wearing suddenly feels stifling. As you try to fight the shirt off, your flipped onto your back and Seokjin is hovering above you, a sleepy smirk stretching his lips. 

“My, my. Someone’s being naughty, hm? You can’t even properly wake your alpha up? You’ll just grind against him while he sleeps?” 

He pins your arms when you try to reach out for him and you whine. He takes both wrists in one hand, leaving his other hand free to slip under your shirt. You gasp, pushing your body up into his touch and he chuckles, nudging your legs apart with his knee so he can settle between them. 

“Are you going to tell me what you want? Or do I need to punish you?” His voice is tinged with his alpha tone as his hand slides up and cups your breast. 

You blink a few times, trying to clear enough of the haze to respond. You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat. “Please, alpha…”

Seokjin chuckles and the sound makes you shiver. “Mmm, close, princess. Do you wanna try again?” You whine again, hips bucking up to try to get some friction and Seokjin tsks you. “Ah ah. None of that, omega.”

Your core clenches at the reprimand and you bite your lip on another whine. You take a deep breath, regretting it almost instantly when your met with the overwhelming scent of Seokjin’s own arousal. “Alpha, fuck me. Please, please, I need you, need your knot, please.”

Seokjin gives a pleased hum, squeezing your breast once before his hand is sliding down your body and cupping your pussy through your panties. “Much better, princess. Good girl.”

You warm at the praise, hips pressing your pussy further into his hand. He doesn’t pull away this time though, instead he tugs your panties to the side and slips two fingers inside. Your back bows and you instantly clench around him. 

“Please, please more, alpha, Seokjin. Please.” You roll your hips, fucking yourself on his fingers.

He slips another finger in and you moan. He pumps them faster, thrusting in counterpoint to the rolling of your hips. “I think I quite like seeing you so desperate to come, princess. First on your pillow, then on my fingers. Maybe I’ll give you my tongue next. Gotta make sure you’re nice and relaxed for my knot. How does that sound, princess? Want me to eat you out next? I bet you taste even better than you smell. And you smell absolutely intoxicating.”

He hooks his fingers and you gasp when their probing presses against your g-spot. You wriggle your wrists, wanting to touch him. “Seokjin, lemme touch you too, please.” You whine.

He chuckles, but releases your wrists and you bury your hands in his hair, yanking him in for a kiss. He makes a noise of surprise against your mouth, not expecting the touch you wanted to have been a kiss, before he’s kissing you back enthusiastically. His tongue runs along the seam of your lips and you happily open up for him. You groan at the taste of him, hips working faster as Seokjin rubs your clit with his thumb in time with the thrusts of his finger. 

You turn away from the kiss with a gasp and Seokjin uses the opportunity to trail his lips along your jaw and down your neck where he leaves a few nips, though you want far more than just nips on your throat. 

“Come on, princess. Cum for me.” He growls against your neck and it makes heat pool in your belly. 

Seokjin licks a stripe up your neck before biting and sucking a mark onto your neck and that finally pushes you over the edge and you cum with a cry, pussy clenching tightly around Seokjin’s fingers as he continues pumping. 

When the last of the shudders stop, he gingerly removes his fingers, bringing the glistening digits up to his mouth. His eyes darken at how wet they are before he pops them into his mouth and a sound somewhere between a moan and a growl rumbles in his chest. 

“Fuck, I was right. You taste divine.” He refocuses on you and his hands rub at your thighs. “Are you feeling okay, though? Do you need anything?”

You blink at his shift in demeanor, from domineering alpha to caretaker, thoughts now a little clearer thanks to the orgasm and you giggle. “I’d be better if I had your dick already.” You wink.

Seokjin’s eyes flash and he ducks down to kiss you senseless before sitting back with a smug smirk when you just stare at him speechless. His hands grasp the bottom of your shirt, pushing it slowly up your body and you lift your arms to help him tug it off. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He murmurs, seemingly distracted by the newly exposed skin. 

He presses a gentle kiss to your lips, then he’s moving further down to dust kisses across your collarbone. A soft sigh leaves you as his plush lips leave a burning path down to your breasts. A hand comes up to palm one while his mouth envelopes your nipple. Fire floods your veins as your heat hits you fully again. You push your hips up but Seokjin is a step ahead and is pinning your hips to the bed before you can so much as raise them more than an inch. 

He lifts his head just enough to speak, breath blowing across your spit slick nipple. “Relax, princess. Your alpha will take care of you, don’t worry.” He soothes, thumbs stroking the skin of your hips. 

You chew your lip, body protesting the thought of waiting for what it needs. You give him a small nod and he coos praises against your skin as slowly works his way down your body until he’s settled between your legs, faced with your soaked panties. You’re torn between hiding from his gaze and shoving your pussy into his face but Seokjin saves you from having to choose by digging his fingers into your thighs and holding them open. 

He nips at your thigh, soothing the sting with his tongue and then he’s giving the same treatment to the other leg. When he’s satisfied with the blooming marks on your skin, he licks at your pussy through your panties, lips wrapping around your clit through the fabric and sucking. 

You swear, burying your hands in his hair and he chuckles. “You’ve absolutely ruined your panties, princess.”

You whine in embarrassment, tugging lightly at his hair. “Don’t tease.”

He chuckles, pressing his tongue teasingly against your clit. “But you look so pretty all flustered and desperate, princess.” He gives another lick. “And I like hearing you beg.”

“Seokjin, please. Please stop teasing. I want your mouth on me. Please, I’ll do anything.”

Seokjin glances up at you, eyebrow raised. “Anything, huh? That’s a dangerous promise, princess.” He glances back down at your panties and licks his lips. “But, you’re in luck. I’m feeling particularly generous right now.”

With that he tugs your panties down and tosses them off the bed. He groans at the sight of your bared pussy and you spread your legs further apart in a bid to entice him to give you what you want. His thumbs brush along your pussy lips before he’s grabbing handfuls of your thighs and pressing his tongue firmly against your clit. 

You chant out yes’s as his tongue traces around your clit, occasionally dipping down to your entrance before returning his attention to your clit. His fingers dig into your skin and you know there will be bruises in the shape of his fingers there later and you revel in that knowledge. Little growls and groans leave him as his mouth works against your pussy and the vibrations send pleasure shooting through you. 

Your hands tighten in his hair when he slips two fingers into you while his plush lips wrap around your clit. He sucks and you cry out, pleasure building so fast after your recent orgasm. 

“Come on princess, I can feel you clenching around my fingers already. Be a good omega and cum for me.” Seokjin murmurs against you before he’s back to sucking on your clit. 

You whimper and he crooks his fingers just right to rub at your sweet spot. He pumps his fingers faster then grazes your clit with his teeth and your orgasm rushes through you. You cry out his name as your release gushes around his fingers. His fingers slow as your moans quiet down until he withdraws them completely, letting his tongue take their place to clean up the mess you’ve made. 

You expect to feel some relief, but Seokjin’s tongue continuing to work has heat spreading through your limbs again and you suddenly don’t feel sated in the least. You feel frantic with need and you know the only thing that’ll make you feel better and so you give his hair a tug as you whine. “Seokjin… want your cock, please.”

He sits up, face shining, as his tongue darts out to lick his lips. He wipes the rest of your release from his face with the back of his hand. His hair is disheveled from your tugging and his lips are swollen and red. He looks unfairly debauched for the fact that he’s still fully dressed and you’ve come multiple times already. When he makes no moves to give you what you want, you decide to just take it. 

Before he can comprehend what’s happening, you’ve pushed him onto his back and planted yourself firmly in his lap. You groan when your pussy drags across the fabric still separating you from his cock. Seokjin halts you from moving further, fingers digging into your hips in warning. 

“Princess.” He growls out and your instincts have you going nearly boneless, baring your neck to him with the overwhelming need to submit. 

You’re flipped onto your back, smothered for a moment in Seokjin’s bulk and scent and you’re positive you could die happy under him. He rears back, nearly tearing his shirt in his haste to get it off of him and your eyes trace along the breadth of his shoulders to his thick neck and down to his chest. His skin is smooth and the muscles that ripple beneath as he moves to shuck his sweats off has you clenching. 

Then your eyes are drawn lower as Seokjin finally gets his sweats off and your mouth floods at the sight of his cock, hard and shiny with precum and so thick that you’re torn between wanting him to shove it down your throat or stuff your pussy so full that you can’t think. Seokjin catches your stare, chuckling as he reaches down to give himself a few pumps, thumb swiping across the plump, red head. 

“See something you like, princess?” He teases.

You tear your gaze from his cock to meet his eyes, nodding dumbly because you’ve been robbed of all words. He smiles, body blanketing you once again as he leans down to capture your lips, cock brushing your pussy as he holds himself above you. You whine, hips tilting to get more of his cock pressed against you. Seokjin groans, hips grinding lazily against your pussy, lips trailing to nip at your neck. 

“Alpha, please…” You pant, reaching up to dig your fingers into the meat of his shoulders. 

He nods against your neck, one hand leaving the bed to reach between the two of you and he positions himself at your entrance, pausing with the head pressed to your hole and pulls back to meet your eyes. “Are you sure?” He swallows and blinks a few times to clear some of the daze. “Once I start-” 

You cut him off, shifting just enough for him to slip an inch into you. You both moan and the stretch of just the head has your desperation rising, the overwhelming need to be mounted clawing at your insides. Seokjin must feel the same because he pauses for only a second longer before he’s slamming fully into you. You gasp, nails digging into his back as he immediately pulls back out just to thrust back in. He buries his face in your neck, breath puffing warm against your skin as he pants harshly with his rough pace. 

“Fuck you’re so wet, princess. You’re such a good girl, a good little omega.” 

You whine as the praises continue to flow from him and he grabs your hips to hitch them higher, manhandling you around into the position that he wants you in. The shift has him hitting you deeper, rubbing your walls in all the right ways and you’re already so close to coming again. Tears gather at the corner of yours eyes and you roll your hips as best you can with his thrusts to get some friction on your clit. 

Nails prick your skin and you gasp, staring slightly wide eyed as Seokjin pulls away from your neck with a devilish smirk. “Now now, princess. I’ve given you so much already, let your alpha has his turn.” He slows his pace and you pout but his smirk just grows. “Besides, I’d much rather you come on my knot.”

His next thrust has your pussy stretching further as his knot begins to form. Your breath hitches as the growing girth stretches your more. 

“Yes, yes, yes, please let me have your knot, please, please.” You beg, body feeling aflame at the promise of what you want most. 

“Yeah?” Seokjin growls, licking up your neck to nip your earlobe. “You want my knot that bad, baby? Want me to knot you and fill you nice and full of my come? Keep you all plugged up so you get pregnant? Fuck… You’d look so amazing all swollen and round with my pups.”

You nod along, words only fueling your desire more. He slams his hips against you one last time before his knot finally grows too large and he settles for grinding as the first pulses of his release fills you. 

“That’s it, baby. Fuck… You’re such a good girl. Taking my knot and cum so so well. Shit, gonna get you all nice and full of pups.” You moan and Seokjin slips one hand down to rub at your clit. “Such a good omega, so good for my pups.” He murmurs and a few circles of his thumb coupled with his knot and cum filling you so delightfully full has you clenching around him as your mouth drops open in a silent scream as you cum. Seokjin groans, lips finding yours for an uncoordinated kiss as you both ride out your orgasms together. 

Your brain finally feel clearer and you enjoy the quiet mingling sounds of both of your breathing. You bask in the blissful feeling of being full and after what feels like hours, but is nothing more than a few minutes, Seokjin is sliding an arm beneath your back, keeping you close as he carefully maneuvers you both so that he’s now on his back and you can curl up on his chest while you wait for his knot to go down. You hum in contentment when his fingers thread through your hair, massaging your scalp. 

“Sleep.” He murmurs, chest vibrating against your cheek and you rub your face against his chest in a sleepy nod, following his advice and your own body’s sudden exhaustion. 

You wake up later, alone in bed, stretching and the delightful soreness has a small smile gracing your lips before you realize that the cause of that soreness is nowhere to be seen. You finally sit up, belatedly realizing that that sticky mess you were expecting is definitely not there. And now that you’re more awake and looking around, you notice that you’re sleeping on different sheets, ones that are definitely not yours. 

You’re about to climb out of bed when you hear footsteps padding down the hall towards your room and a moment later, Seokjin, now back in his boxers, is nudging open the door, carrying a plate of something you can’t quite make out and a glass of water that upon seeing makes you realize how dry your throat feels. You make grabby hands for it immediately and Seokjin blinks in surprise for a second at seeing you awake before he’s chuckling and coming closer, handing you the water once he’s close enough. 

You start guzzling the water, the coolness soothing the roughness you were feeling in your throat. Seokjin tuts, pointedly looking at the glass and how quickly you’re consuming it and you sheepishly slow your swallows. He gently pulls the glass away before you can finish and you pout. He chuckles, setting it and the plate on the nightstand before taking a seat on the bed with his back against the headboard. He gathers you up, situating you in his lap until he’s happy with how you’re sat. 

He grabs the plate and you notice it’s full of fruits and cheeses, all of them your favorites, much to your delight. Your stomach grumbles and Seokjin reaches for one of the slices, holding it to your lips for you to take. You hum happily as the flavor of the fruit mixes perfectly with a taste that you can’t put a name to, just that it’s all Seokjin. 

After a few minutes of silent feeding, Seokjin gives you your water back to finish. You hand the glass back once you’re done, cuddling back into his chest with the intent to nap a little more. 

He nudges you when your eyes start to slip closed, holding another piece of fruit up for you to take. “Eat a little more first, princess. It’s only the first day, who knows when you’ll have another long lull. Best to fill up now. At least so I don’t have to fight you as much later.”

You duck your head in embarrassment, opening your mouth obediently when he presses the fruit to your lips. You try not to think about the fight he’s gonna have to put up with when your heat really kicks in and you don’t want to do anything but sit on his dick. You’re glad the worst of your heat is always fuzzy and you hopefully won’t have to remember the worst of it. 

He feeds you a few more bites before he deems you full enough, then he’s rearranging you both so you’re laying down and he pulls your back flush against his front. His lips press gently to your shoulder. “Sleep now.”

And you don’t have to be told twice before your eyes are drifting shut. 

When you wake up again, you blearily notice that at some point you both have shifted positions. Seokjin’s now on his back and you’re curled into his side, one leg thrown over his and your dripping core pressed to his thigh, soaking his boxers. You grind your hips forward, moaning at the drag of the fabric against your sensitive pussy. 

Seokjin mutters something, shifting slightly, but remains asleep as you rut against him. You bury your face in his chest, taking a deep inhale of his scent before lazily mouthing across his collarbone to his neck. The fire in your belly intensifies and you scramble to climb fully on top of Seokjin, pushing his boxers down just enough to get to his cock and you’re delighted to find that he’s already hard. You wrap a hand around it, giving him a few strokes before positioning it and fully sheathing it within you. 

Seokjin starts awake with a gasp, hands finding your waist immediately even though he doesn’t seem to fully realize what’s happening yet. His eyes fall to you, more precisely where you’re already bouncing on his cock, not even seeming to mind that he’s not fully awake. His grip on you tightens in an effort to pause your riding but you just switch to grinding when he restricts your movements. 

He chuckles. “Fuck, couldn’t even wake me up, princess? Such a needy little omega that you’re just going to take what you need, hm? Not even gonna wake your alpha up to help you?”

You whine, continuing to rock against him. His words fuel your movements, but the meaning to them is lost in the haze. Seokjin chuckles when you ignore him and the sudden loss of his hands has you faltering. You glance at him finally, finding him laying there with his arms tucked under his head, looking the perfect picture of relaxation. When he sees your attention on him, he glances pointedly back to where you’re joined.

“Oh, please. Don’t let me interrupt. Feel free to continue what you were doing. I was just getting comfortable.”

Your protest is on the tip of your tongue, you want to whine about how you want his hands on you but his cock twitches where its buried in you and you lift yourself up just to drop back down on him, head thrown back as you begin to ride him in earnest. Seokjin, to his credit, seems to struggle with his self imposed promise of just sitting back and letting you work if the way his biceps flex is anything to go by. But he stays still, much to your frustration as you continue. 

You quickly grow frustrated though, slamming your hips down one last time before you dig your fingers into his chest and whine. “Alpha, please…”

He grins up at you. “What is it, princess? I thought you didn’t need me.”

You whine again, grinding against him, but shaking your head. “No, no. Need you. Please, Seokjin.”

He chuckles, but to your delight he moves his arms from behind his head and his hands rest warm and heavy against your thighs. “What do you need, princess?” When you don’t respond right away, he gives your thighs a small squeeze. “Tell me what you need. I can’t help my omega if she doesn’t tell me what she needs.”

You shudder, trying to find the words to speak what you need through the fog blanketing your mind. “Knot… Need your knot, please. Please, want it, Seokjin.”

“Yeah? You need it, princess?” He coos.

You nod enthusiastically, gasping when he shifts his legs to get leverage so that he can thrust up into you, his hands on your waist holding you in place. “Yes, yes yes, please, please please. Alpha…”

You feel his knot starting to grow, catching your rim with every thrust and the feeling makes your toes curl. Seokjin’s fingers tighten and he gets a handful more thrusts in before his knot is too large to pull out. You groan and his hands shift to your hips to guide them in grinding on his knot as he did before with your pillow, praises flowing from his lips. When you finally start grinding without his guidance, his lets his hands slide up your body, palming your breasts and rolling your nipples between his fingers. 

“Cum for me baby. Cum on my knot, show me how badly you want my cum and pups.” He growls, pinching your nipples harder. 

A few swivels of your hips has you moaning his name as you cum, pussying squeezing him tight as he pumps you full.

You get flashes of moments over the next few days. You know at one point, Seokjin has to resort to feeding you while you’re knotted because you refuse to not be filled. And even then he still struggles to get you to actually eat the food rather than just sucking on his fingers. Another time you corner him in the kitchen while he’s getting you water. Pawing at his cock and whining when he snatches up both your wrists in one of his hands. Which means your next most logical thought is to drop to your knees and mouth at his cock instead. You get your mouth around him, gag reflex diminished thanks to your heat and you suck on his cock until he starts to shallowing thrust into your mouth. Then his hand tightens around your wrists and you’re being yanked to your feet and bent over the kitchen table. He fucks you hard and fast, hand coming down to quick swats on your ass as he talks about how you’re being awfully naughty. You cry when he knots you that time, Seokjin shushing you, cooing at you and telling you that if you drink your water then he’ll forgive you and you’ll be his good girl again. You’ve never drank a glass of water quicker. 

He tries to get you to shower but your legs don’t want to cooperate for that, and a little part of you wants to be bratty again, so he sighs and draws a bath. Which you make him join you in and results in something soft, that if you were in a different state of mind would probably make your heart ache with how sweet and caring and gentle he was being. Although it ends with water sloshed all over the floor and were you not in heat, you’d feel really bad for the messes he’s been cleaning up. 

Your heat is blessedly shorter than usual with the addition of a partner. Rather than spending a whole week being miserable and horny, it finishes after just 4 and a half days and you wake up feeling far more refreshed than you usually do after your heats. You notice the bed is empty beside you and that your room has been tidied up. Your gut churns with disappointment, tempted to bury your face into the pillow Seokjin had been using just to get another whiff of his scent, but soft singing coming from the kitchen draws your attention.

You slip out of bed, taking a moment to stretch your sore limbs. You foot catches something as you go to step away and you stoop down to examine it. The tshirt is wholly unfamiliar to you and when you hold it up to your nose, humming in content when you realize it’s Seokjin’s and he must have missed it when he was cleaning. You debate for a moment on returning it to him but something in you protests the thought and you tug it on instead and you decide that you’re just going to chalk the feeling up to residual hormones from your heat. You stand and make your way to the kitchen, leaning in the doorway and watching quietly as Seokjin cooks, still singing softly to himself. 

A few minutes pass like this before he speaks. “You just gonna keep creeping in the doorway or come in for breakfast?” He glances back at you to wink before turning back to the pan in front of him. 

You chuckle, moving to the cabinets to gather what you need to set the table. “Maybe I wanted to enjoy the show.” You say as you take a seat at your kitchen table, propping up your chin on your hand to return to watching him.

Seokjin turns, sliding a few pieces of french toast onto a platter that from the glimpse you get is already piled high with it. He brings the plate to the table before going back to the fridge and grabbing a big bowl of fresh cut fruit and a bottle of juice. You look from the literal pile of food to Seokjin with wide eyes. 

“Did I miss something? Are you feeding an army?”

He chuckles, grabbing a few slices of french toast and a couple spoonfuls of fruit, plucking a piece of melon from his plate to eat before finally answering. “No. But this is your first real meal in a few days. Once you start eating you’ll realize just how hungry you are.” 

You pout and want to argue, but the smell of the food is too enticing and so instead you grab some food and start eating, choosing to very pointedly ignore the fact that after the first bite you feel like you could probably eat all the food on the table plus find something to snack on in the fridge. You both eat in silence and you can’t quite tell if it’s a comfortable one or an awkward one. On the one hand, Seokjin’s presence is calming and you feel more relaxed than you have in a long time. But at the same time, you want to speak, but you have to idea what you can talk about with the guy who paid a crazy amount of money to sleep with you during your heat and whose cock you were literally begging for just a few hours ago. And you realize that you don’t even know if he wants to talk about anything. For all you know, this is just lingering alpha protectiveness and once breakfast is over, he’ll gather his things and leave. 

“Not good?” His voice drags you from your musing and you’re quick to shake your head, stuffing another bite into your mouth. 

“No, no. It’s amazing. Just still a little sleepy, I guess.” You half lie.

He watches you for a moment with pursed lips before giving a small nod and going back to his own food. You eat a little faster, deciding that once your finished and clean everything up that you’ll test the waters and see if he maybe wants to stay a little longer and watch a movie. It’s innocuous enough, you can always play it off as just a precaution to make sure your heat is really over. That it has nothing to do with the fact that you really don’t want him to leave. 

With your food finished, you gather up the dishes to take to the sink, beginning to clean up and Seokjin comes over to join, taking the dish towel to begin drying the dishes as you clean and then putting them away. The two of you work in silence, finishing the dishes in no time.

When you finish, Seokjin hands you the towel so you can dry your hands and you both stand in silence, this time it’s definitely awkward. You’re just working up the courage to ask if he’d like to stay, maybe watch a movie or something when he beats you in speaking.

“Well… I guess I should probably get going. I’m sure Lisa would like her own place back.” He rubs at the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes as he speaks and you try really hard not to read into the fact that he won’t look at you now. 

You frown, quickly hiding your disappointment when he glances at you. You give a small nod. “Right, sure of course. I’m sure you’ve got work and stuff too. Company won’t run itself, huh?” You weakly joke.

He chuckles, nodding as he makes his way to the door where you notice his bags are sitting, already packed. You feel a twinge in your chest as you watch him pick them up and slide his shoes on. He turns and hesitates for a second before giving a small smile.

“I hope I gave you a good experience for your first partnered heat.” You give a little nod and his smile grows. He gives a little wave. “It’s been a pleasure, Y/n.”

With that, he’s out the door and you let your smile drop. You sigh, feeling oddly empty with him out of the apartment now. Shaking the thoughts from your head, you move to the windows to open them to start airing the apartment out for Lisa’s return, lighting a couple of candles around the room as well. You enter your bedroom, expecting to have a mess to clean up but Seokjin seems to have thought of everything already, your room clean and tidy and the windows already cracked. You sit on your bed, wondering if it’s always this way after heats, if the sudden loneliness is usual of arrangements like this or if maybe it’s just cause it’s your first time having an alpha during heat. Maybe the attachment you felt is normal and so the way you feel abandoned is too and will pass in a day. At least that’s what you try to reason to yourself as you think about how maybe you should have insisted that Seokjin stay just a little longer. 

You take a deep breath, Seokjin’s scent drifting off the shirt you’re still wearing and it has a weirdly soothing effect on you, calms your thoughts even as they swirl with doubt. You crawl up the bed, tugging the pillow he used over and bury your face in it. Letting his scent lull you to sleep because you know once Lisa gets home that all of your friends are going to flock over to question how it went. 

The week crawls by slowly, classes don’t help either since it’s still early in the semester and so the work load hasn’t particularly picked up yet. You find yourself having an increasingly difficult time sleeping, the only thing that you’ve found that helps is cuddling the pillow that is slowly losing Seokjin’s scent. And you really try not to think about any implications from that. In the last two days you’ve also gotten a headache that refuses to leave no matter what you take and has begun to get worse with time. 

Which is making the attempt to power through movie night incredibly difficult. Even with the lights off, the flashes from the screen cause searing pain and of course it had to be Jungkook’s turn to choose and he of course choose a Marvel movie, full of flashing and loud noises. And since everyone’s seen it already, everyone has made it time to talk and joke around. 

A particularly loud explosion has you squeezing your eyes shut and clenching your teeth. You’re so caught up in willing the pain to stop that you fail to notice the whimper that escapes you or the fact that the room goes dead silent after. A few moments pass before you realize there’s no sound and you squint an eye open to notice that everyone is staring at you with concern, the movie paused in the background. 

Jimin is closest and slides closer instantly, gently setting his hands on you, checking for anything that could’ve caused the noise of distress. Lisa slides closer too from her position on the floor, wrapping her hand around your ankle and you feel a little of the tension and pain bleed away.

Jimin frowns when his preliminary check turns up nothing obvious to have caused a problem. “What’s wrong?” He whispers, seeming to at least gauge that sound is hurting you.

You weakly wave him away. “Just a headache. I’m fine.”

“Again?” Jisoo chimes in from the other end of the couch and Jimin’s frown deepens, as he glances from Jisoo back to you. 

“How long have you had a headache? Do you need something?”

You give a small shake of your head. “It won’t work, it’s fine. It’s just been a couple days. It’s probably just stress. I’ll be fine.” You want him to stop, you don’t want him to probe further, to try to get to the root of the problem. You hope he leaves it at that, believes it’s just stress.

Jimin purses his lips, watching you for a moment before he’s gently tilting your head to get a better look at your face. “You haven’t been sleeping. And you’re losing color.”

You pout at him. “You make it sound like I look like shit.” You attempt to joke, anything to distract him.

Jimin ignores your comment. “How long have you felt like this? Are there any other symptoms that you’re not telling us?”

You squirm uncomfortably under the scrutiny and look down at your lap as you mutter the answers to his questions because you know if you don’t answer then he’ll just keep pressing. “Since last week. It was just hard to sleep at first. Then I was just exhausted all the time like I’d been awake for a long time while doing a lot of hard work. The headaches started a couple days ago.”

Jimin mulls that over. “Before or after your heat?”

You flush, you wish everyone wasn’t around right now. You want to go seek comfort in Seokjin’s shirt and pillow. “After.”

“After Seokjin left?” He clarifies.

He prods you when you don’t respond right away, something uncomfortable churns in your gut at the direction this is going. “Yes. After he left.”

Jimin is ominously quiet and when you glance up, you see him sharing a worried look with Lisa, who shifts closer to rest her cheek on your thigh as Jimin takes hold of your head. “It sounds like you’ve got bond sickness.”

A hysterical laugh bubbles out of you, your mind violently rejecting that idea. “That’s not possible. I don’t have anyone to be bonded with.”

Lisa gives you a reassuring squeeze. “Bond sickness happens when you spend your heat or rut with your mate but don’t complete the bond.”

“If Seokjin was my mate, I think I’d know. And he would too. He wouldn’t have left afterwards.” You hate how pitiful you sound. “This was just some fun for him. It’s not bond sickness.” You try to reason, glancing around the room at your friends who all have varying degrees of pity on their face and you wish even more that he hadn’t done this in front of everyone. Everything feels like it’s too much. You turn back to Jimin, feeling tears beginning to well in your eyes. “It can’t be bond sickness.” It comes out soft, almost in audible. Your hand tightens around Jimin’s. “It can’t be… b-because if it is… Then- then that means I’m not Seokjin’s mate but he’s mine.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Lisa’s up off the floor and pulling you into a hug as the tears finally spill over. The rest of your friends move too, crowding around to lend you what comfort they can. 

Seokjin’s glaring at his computer screen, again because that’s all he feels like he can do to the stupid device lately. It refuses to function the way he wants it to. Most of his work has been picked up by others since he’s been back and he drums in fingers against his desk in irritation at the fact that people seem to think he can’t take care of his own company. Agitatedly, he clicks out of his calendar, that sits empty and he knows that it’s wrong but he can’t figure out why it won’t update to say he has something to do today. A soft knock pulls him from his thoughts and he looks up to see Namjoon slip in. He sniffs and turns back to the screen.

“What.” He says shortly.

“I wanted to see how you’re doing.” Namjoon says placidly, completely unphased by Seokjin’s mood and takes a seat across from Seokjin.

Seokjin snorts. “I’m just fine, Namjoon.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows at his tone as if to emphasize how not true that statement is. Seokjin chooses to ignore him, opening his email to at least appear that he has some work to do, even though his inbox sits woefully empty. “You can’t even look at me. And you never call me Namjoon. Seokjin, I love you man, but what’s going on? You know you can talk to me, talk to any of us.”

Seokjin mulls that over for a minute. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and scrubbing his hands over his face, he feels tired, just so tired. He has no idea what the hell is going on with him. When he pulls them away, Namjoon notices too just have tired he looks. “I don’t know, Joon.” He says, so quietly that Namjoon almost misses it. “I don’t know and that terrifies me.”

“Okay, that’s fine. We’ll talk it out and we’ll get this figured out. We’re here for you, Jin.” Seokjin crosses his arms and sits back, waiting for Namjoon to start. “Well, you’ve become increasingly aggressive and irritable since you’ve been back. You snapped at Hobi in a way that hasn’t happened since college and you were both trying to date the same person and your alpha’s both got a little too possessive. You can’t seem to focus on anything and you’ve obviously not been getting much sleep.” He pauses thoughtfully. “Is there anything else we haven’t seen that’s been happening?”

Seokjin rubs idly at his chest before looking down at where his hand sits. He taps it once. “My chest aches. Like… something’s hooked through it and tugging. It just… it aches.” He finishes lamely.

Namjoon nods and mulls everything over for a few moments. “I don’t know if this would be something you want to hear, but it sounds like you’ve got bond sickness.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, feeling irritation prickle his skin. They all joke with each other, but he didn’t think Namjoon would ever be one for such a cruel joke. “Yeah, Joon, that’s what it is. It’s been 2 weeks. It’s not bond sickness. Good joke, man.”

Namjoon looks unimpressed with his response, stares Seokjin dead in the eyes as he snaps at him. “Kim Seokjin, there is no way you are actually this dense of an alpha.” Seokjin’s eyes widen at Namjoon’s tone. “You’ve been this way since you got back from spending her heat with her. Not only that, but you spent an inordinate amount of money just to make sure no one else could touch her. Which, you’ve also mentioned, you only did after catching her scent at a coffee shop you both happened to be at. You’re a smart man Jin. Put it the fuck together.” Seokjin opens his mouth to respond, anger mounting at Namjoon’s accusations, but Namjoon stands and effectively cuts him off, placing his hands on the edge of the desk and leaning into Seokjin’s face. “Because just think about this, if you’ve been feeling the bond sickness, then do you know who else is? Y/n. And while alphas get irritable and angry with bond sickness, do you know how it turns out for omegas? They get sick.” He pauses before continuing, tone soft and serious. “Then they get really sick.”

Namjoon straightens and turns, pausing at the door. “Fix your shit, Seokjin. Don’t bother coming back to work until you do.” 

“Lisa, please go to class.” You whine, trying to shoo her fretting hands away from you. Ever since the revelation of what was wrong, she’s been practically suffocating you with attention, you think that she thinks if she just gives you enough alpha attention that it’ll help you get better. You don’t have the heart to tell her that that’s not really how bond sickness works. Plus, when she’s not being completely overbearing, the extra companionship from her is nice. 

She frowns, taking in your huddled form on the couch. “You’ve been getting worse. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’ll be fine. Jungkook said he’d be over soon. You’re going to be late.”

Lisa adjusts your blanket one last time, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Fine. But you message if you need anything at all, got it.”

“Yes, mother.” 

She makes a face at you and you give a weak laugh, knowing how much she hates when you say things like that. Her face softens a little as you shudder and adjust your blanket around you. 

“You’re gonna be late. Go. I’ll be fine.” You pout, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes, trying to get her to go. At least one person in this apartment should be regularly attending classes. You are grateful that Jimin went to the health office to talk to them about what’s happening and managed to get you excused for a little while from having to attend classes. On top of that, after emailing your professors, Taehyung’s been stopping by their offices to pick up or deliver some of the work you manage to get finished.

She huffs. “Alright, alright. Fine. But if Jungkook is even a minute late, you tell me and I will be right back.”

You roll your eyes. “I actually feel sorry for whoever your mate is.”

Lisa pauses in gathering her things to glare at you and you grin back. Lisa’s mate is going to be the most spoiled being on the planet. Lisa slings her bag over her shoulder, coming back over to you to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“I love you. I’ll be back later. Try not to traumatize poor Jungkookie.”

You wave her away, finally turning your attention back to the TV now that Lisa is done with her fretting. You hunker further into your blanket as Lisa finally leaves. You doze off for a while, the tv show you put on doing little to keep your interest when you feel so terrible. And without Lisa here, you don’t have to keep the front up that you feel better than you actually do. You know the sickness will fade and you’ll eventually be fine, if a little dead inside, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to keep your friends from worrying more about you than they already are. You just wish that you could get to that point. You hate that your friends have to care for you like this, it makes you feel too fragile, like how omega’s use to be viewed. Poor pitiful things that weren’t allowed to do much more than have an alpha’s pups and care for them.

You’re roused from your daze by the door opening and closing and Jungkook’s warm, earthy scent washes over you. You hum in content and he rounds the couch with a grin as he lifts a bag up for you to see. 

“I brought soup.” 

You chuckle. “Thank you Kookie. Lisa made me eat before she left though, so you can put it in the kitchen for now and we can eat it later.”

He nods, taking it and your nearly empty glass from the table to the kitchen. He returns a few moments later with your cup, now refilled, and places it back on the coffee table. He plops down onto the couch next to you, slipping his arms around you to pull you closer to cuddle. You hum in contentment at his warmth, feeling the worst of your fog lift from the closeness.

“What’re we watching?” He murmurs.

You lift a shoulder in half a shrug. “Dunno. Lisa put it on. I’ve been too sleepy to really pay attention. You can put something else on if you want.”

Jungkook shifts, reaching for the remote and starts idly flipping through the channels to find something to watch and you feel your eyes getting heavy again as you listen to his heart beat. Jungkook’s perusing is interrupted by the frantic pounding from someone at your door. He frowns, glancing from the direction of the door to you. 

“Are you expecting anyone?” When you shake your head, Jungkook adjusts you so he can get up. “I’ll be right back then.”

As he makes his way to the door, the knocking starts again and you frown, wondering who could be so insistent. Your friends are all at work or in class, with the exception of Jungkook who’s on babysitting duty. And you and Lisa rarely get unannounced visitors. It’s silent for a moment when Jungkook opens the door and it makes you worry enough to push yourself to your knees to glance over the back of the couch. 

You’re about to call out to Jungkook, ask him what’s going on when Seokjin frantically rounds the corner and you feel like all your breath has been knocked out of you. Seokjin freezes when he sees you, his mouth dropping open, you don’t know if it’s from shock at how you look or if he also feels like all the air in the room has been sucked out. You vaguely register a door closing somewhere, you assume Jungkook must be leaving, but your focus is so taken by Seokjin that the building could fall around you and you wouldn’t notice. 

You take a shuddering breath in and you’re overwhelmed with the scent of Seokjin, potent and real and the lingering scent left on his shirt is nothing compared to the richness of it as it fills the room. You choke on a sob and Seokjin is suddenly moving, crossing the distance between the two of you and enveloping you in a nearly crushing hug, but you can’t find it inside yourself to care how tightly he squeezes. You bury your face in his chest as tears leak from your eyes, feeling lighter and happier than you have in nearly 3 weeks. You hear Seokjin murmuring into your hair where his face is pressed against, but your body is buzzing too much for you to hear what the words are, only able to focus on how comforting the words feel on your frayed mind.

You don’t know how long the two of you stay like that, but eventually Seokjin pulls away. When you make a distressed sound, he strokes your cheek to sooth you.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I just need to see your face.” With that, he finally sits fully on the couch, pulling you into his lap. His hands come up to cup your cheeks, holding you in place as his gaze flits across your face for a few moments, like he’s trying to memorize everything. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, princess.” He coos, pulling your face closer to pepper it with kisses. 

You squeeze you eyes shut, willing yourself to stop crying, but your nerves have been so fried lately that you’re completely convinced that you’ll never stop crying. Seokjin continues to murmur to you, though the words themselves have lost all meaning and you just let the cadance and sound of his voice work as the balm your soul has needed these past few weeks. He pulls you back in and you bury your face back into neck to take in his scent, a small part of you fearful that you may never get to again. 

Eventually, he adjusts your position, drawing your attention to the fact that when you look up, he’s saying your name with an incredibly fond smile.

“What?” You croak.

He chuckles and presses a kiss, two kisses to your cheek before responding. “I’ve been saying your name for a few minutes. You back with me, love?”

Your whole body heats at pet name. “You have?” You question, you can’t tell if he’s teasing or being serious. 

He gives a little nod. “It’s okay. You seemed like you were enjoying yourself so I’m not too upset.” 

The teasing tilt of his lips speaks of so much fondness, you can’t help it when you lean forward to steal a kiss of your own from him. “What were you saying my name for?” You murmur, reluctant to pull back from the kiss. 

“I like saying it. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.” He grins.

You nudge him playfully, cheeks heating from a mixture of embarrassment and pleased happiness. “Stop that. That’s gross. What did you want?”

He tightens his arms around you briefly. “We should talk. There’s… kind of a lot that we need to go over huh?”

You sober slightly, but the thought of not touching Seokjin makes you feel physically ill again. You shift, keeping your legs throw over his and both hands wrapped in his. By the look on Seokjin’s face, this seems to be the furthest he’s willing to let you get from himself, not that you’d let yourself get much further from him anyway. 

“We should.” You agree, nerves on edge. You assume, hope, that since he’s here, that he won’t let go of you, that this is meant to be a good talk. That it’ll end the way you want, that you both hopefully want. 

“So… We’re mates.” He begins, stops, seems unsure of what else to go on, but your heart soars at him calling you mates. He seems a little uncomfortable and you find it incredibly endearing that a big powerful alpha and CEO can’t seem to get his feelings out to his mate. You decide to let him suffer a little longer with his stuttering before granting him mercy and taking over the conversation.

“We are. If you want to be. I… certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it.” You give him a shy smile.

Seokjin seems a little blindsided, but he quickly gets past it and his face lights up in a brilliant smile. “Of course. I can’t think of a more perfect girlfriend than you.”

You raise an eyebrow and you can’t help teasing him a little. “Girlfriend, huh?” Seokjin sputters, trying to come up with something but you laugh, putting a hand over his mouth. “I’m teasing. But I’m not going to be your girlfriend unless you ask me properly.”

He pulls you close again, lips barely brushing yours. “Will you,” He pauses, kisses you. “Be my girlfriend?” He finishes, lips still against yours.

You let out a giddy giggle. “Yes, of course, you silly alpha. My silly alpha.”

His thumbs run over your cheeks. “I’m sorry I let you get so sick. I should’ve realized. I shouldn’t have left. I’m so sorry.”

You shush him, putting your hands over his. “Hey, no. It’s just as much my fault as yours. Don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known. They were such strange circumstances. It’s okay. I don’t blame you Seokjin.”

He gives you a small grateful smile, like it’s something that’s been truly weighing on him before he seems to realize something and groans, head thumping back against the couch. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when he speaks. “Oh no, this means I just paid nearly a million dollars for a girlfriend. The guys are never going to let this go.” 

You smother your laughter, tapping his nose to get his attention. “Well actually, you paid that much for your mate.” You give a mischievous wink to him. “But I’m sure you can convince her to share all that wealth with you again. Minus whatever she needs for school.”

His eyes darken. “Oh? Do you think she’d be that generous to give some back?”

You nod, tapping your chin thoughtfully. “Of course, if she has you now then she doesn’t really need that much money.”

Seokjin hums and it sends a shiver down your spine. He leans closer and you feel like you’re prey, you feel exhilarated. “And just what do you think I could do to convince her to do something like that, hm?” He purrs in your ear, finishing with a nip to your earlobe. 

You shudder, biting back a moan. “Oh, I’m sure a smart man like you will think of something.” You laugh as you push yourself off his lap and make a dash for your room.

He lets out a noise of surprise before you hear the sound of pursuit and just as you reach your bedroom door, you’re scooped up by him and turned so he can pin your back to the wall. He grabs your thighs to force your legs around his waist and you delight in the press of his cock against you, even with all the layers separating it from where you want him most. You moan, head thumping back against the wall.

“Now now, princess. It’s not very nice to run away from your alpha now is it?” He chastises, breath warm against your neck.

You swallow, squirming to get a little friction and relief, but he pressed his hips more firmly against you, halting your movement. You whine, low and needy. Seokjin nips your neck.

“I believe I asked you something princess. It’s not nice to run away is it?” You shake your head and he nips you again. “Use your words like a good girl.”

“No, it’s not nice, alpha.” 

He licks up your neck, nips your jaw, presses a quick kiss to your lips. “Good girl.”

You try to squirm again, whining. “Alpha, please. Need you. Missed you, Seokjin.” He rubs your sides comfortingly. “It’s okay princess, I’ll take care of you. Always.”

He pulls his hips away just enough to slip his hands into your shorts, fingers finding your dripping slit. He groans, lips finding yours as he slips two fingers into you. He pumps them a few times before you quickly grow restless, turning away just enough to speak.

“Not enough. Need your cock, please.”

He chuckles at your neediness and how much it mirrors his own and aquiesses easily enough to your request because he doesn’t think he could prolong this that much anyway. He pulls his fingers free, undoes his pants just enough to pull his dick out and then tugs your shorts and underwear to the side just enough to slip in. He slides in to the hilt and pauses there, panting. 

“God you really were made for me.” He groans. “Fuck, I’m never letting you go again.”

You nod happily. “Yes, yes. Please move.”

He complies, starting a fast pace that leaves you feeling like this is your first time all over again with how overwhelming it is. You’re already remarkably close to cumming despite the fact that not much has been done and you have an inkling on what exactly will tip you over. You let your head drop to the side.

“Jinnie. Seokjin,” You wait till you have his attention. “Alpha claim me.”

His eyes flash and there’s no hesitation as he dips his head down to pepper your neck with kisses. A moment later, you feel teeth and then the wetness of blood as he pierces skin. You gasp, back bowing as everything becomes more intense and the feeling of Seokjin’s tongue as he cleans the blood from your claiming mark is the last little push you need to push you over the edge. 

You shudder, moaning his name and fingers gripping his shirt tight enough that you feel it rip. Seokjin slows his thrusting to let you ride out your orgasm and once he senses that your not too sensitive, he resumes his fast pace, chancing his own high. You feel exhausted but the unmarked skin of his neck is like a magnet and you gather what strength you’ve got left to sink your teeth into his skin to leave your own claiming mark. 

Seokjin growls at this, getting a couple last rough thrusts before he cums, shuddering under your hands as you lick the blood from his neck and a moment later you feel his knot. Your head drops back against the wall and you groan weakly, hips rocking slightly as you stare dazedly at the way your mark stands out against Seokjin’s skin, feeling whole and content. His head rests against your shoulder, breath puffing against your collarbone as he struggles to catch his breath.

Your blissful bubble is burst a few minutes later when you hear the front door open. “Y/n!” Lisa calls and she sounds distracted, Jungkook must not have informed her that Seokjin came by. Your mind is lagging too much to connect that this is about to be bad if you don’t respond. “I know you told me to go to class and I did… Well one class. But I was worried, and nothing against Jungkook, but I’d just feel better if I were the one watching-” She cuts off abruptly as you hear something drop to the ground. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You glance over, body flushing in embarrassment at not even having been able to make it to your room. Lisa has her hands over her eyes and body turned away, backpack lying on the ground at her feet. “Really! You couldn’t have like, I don’t know, fucking warned me? Jesus, gross. I think I’m scarred for life now.” There’s a heavy pause before Lisa snatches her phone out of her pocket and storms off. “I’m going to fucking kill Jungkook. The little fucker could’ve texted me. He’s so dead.”

Seokjin’s shoulders shake beneath your hands and you look back to him to see him struggling to hold back laughter. You bite your lip, his laughter making you want to laugh. You poke him. “Shh, Lisa will kill you.” You whisper, little snickers escaping as you.

He looks up at you, eyes sparkling with joy. You can’t resist the urge to lean down and peck him on the lips. He grins before he adjusts his grip on you and moves you both carefully to your room.

“We’ll text you when we’re decent and it’s safe to come back Lis!” You call as Seokjin giggles.

“Pass! Think I’m just going to move out! It’s not safe here anymore!” You hear her call back a second before you hear the front door slam. 

You and Seokjin both finally dissolve into laughter as he closes the bedroom door. He sits gently on the edge of your bed and gives you an apologetic smile when you squirm slightly in his lap.

“Sorry about knotting you. I… I couldn’t really stop it after you bit me.”

You run your hands through his hair affectionately. “It’s more than ok, babe.”

His eyes flutter closed, leaning into your touch as he hums. “Careful princess, or it’ll happen again.”

You grin, grip tightening slightly. “I certainly hope it happens a whole lot more, boyfriend.” You tease. 

~8 Months Later~

You shrug the black robe on over your dress, adjusting it so it lays properly. The dress is new and you’re excited for Seokjin to see it, you refused to let him come with you to get, instead choosing to make the shopping trip a girls day with Lisa and the others. You stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment before there’s a knock and then Lisa’s opening the door, her own robe on. She grins as she lifts her cap. 

“You ready?”

You grin back, excited that the year is over and even more excited for what’s to come. You grab your own cap off the dresser and follow her out to put your shoes on. 

“Is Seokjin meeting us beforehand?” She questions, straightening up.

“No, he said that he’d meet us after the ceremony. He knows how hectic it is beforehand and said that we could have the time to just ourselves.”

She nods and you leave, joining your fellow students headed to graduation. 

“Y/n!” You turn just as Jimin’s arms wrap around your middle and he lifts and twirls you with glee. “We did it! We’re college grads!” He crows with delight. 

You giggle and slap at his shoulder. “I’m aware! Put me down! I’m unsteady enough in these shoes!”

His spinning slows to a stop but you remain held aloft. You squirm, glancing down to see the faux pout on his face, ruined by the smile he clearly can’t keep away. You raise an eyebrow after catching movement behind him. 

“I’d put me down if I were you.” You smirk.

“What’re you gonna do about it?” He taunts.

You tap your chin thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging. “I won’t do anything.” A flash of confusion colors his expression but before he can pose any sort of question, you continue. “But Taehyung certainly can.”

As soon as the name leaves your lips, Jimin’s expression falls, eyes widening in panic. He doesn’t get so much as a word out before fingers dig into his sides and he lets out a startled yelp, finally dropping you. And you’re positive you’d have fallen on your ass if Lisa hadn’t also been with Taehyung and is there to steady you when you were finally freed. You shoot her a grateful smile as you watch Taehyung’s merciless tickling of Jimin, the two rolling on the ground.

“Well at least they don’t need the robes anymore.” Jennie snarks, also joining the two of you in watching. 

The rest of your friends slowly join in watching the two wrestle, finally being able to part from family so that you all could be together on such a momentous day. A few moments later, you feel a tug in your chest and you whip your head around, scanning the crowd a second before Seokjin appears with a grin and call of your name. You see Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok trailing along with him. You abandon the conversation with your friends in favor of meeting him halfway,  flinging your arms around his neck as you beam.

He gives you a quick peck. “I’m so proud of you.” He murmurs, one arm snaking around your waist. 

When the other doesn’t join it, you frown and pull away slightly, following his arm to where it remains tucked behind his back. You pout. “This seems like an inadequate proud greeting.”

He chuckles, pulling his arm out from behind him and presenting the flowers he was hiding to you in a flourish. “That’s because I had a surprise.”

Taking them, you hold them close to smell, marveling at their beauty before giving Seokjin a kiss of your own. “Thank you.”

“You two are gross. Can you not in public?” Yoongi grouses from beside you, but you know it holds no heat.

“That doesn’t sound like a good way to be introduced to my friends, mister.” You snark back, sharing a conspiratory look with Seokjin.

“I can’t believe it’s taken so long for you to introduce all of us.” Hoseok chimes in as you begin to make your way back to rejoin your friends.

“We were busy, had to finish college and you guys have a business. And schedules just never really worked out. Plus Hoseok, you actually already know Jimin.”

Hoseok perks up at that. “The dance student Jimin, right? He’s your friend? Wow, small world.”

“Hey guys!” You announce, waiting to have your friends attention. “These are Seokjin’s friends, Hoseok, Namjoon and Yoongi. Guys these are all my friends.”

Everyone starts talking over each other then to introduce themselves and share stories and you grin, nudging Seokjin. When he looks at you, you nod your head towards where Yoongi stands frozen. Frozen, and staring at Jimin. 

Jimin appears to be completely oblivious to the alpha currently staring him down, instead, he’s busy regaling the others of a story from one of Hoseok’s dance classes. Seokjin goes to say something but you hold up a hand to halt him. He gives you a questioning look but you wave him off. You move around the group till you reach Jimin, now finished with his story and you lean in to whisper in his ear, pointedly looking towards Yoongi when Jimin gives you a wide eyed look. He sheepishly follows your glance, quickly looking away when his eyes meet Yoongi’s intense stare, cheeks quickly heating. 

You give him a kiss on the cheek and a wink as you move back to Seokjin, who wraps an arm around you.

“You didn’t talk for long, are you sure that’ll be enough?” He questions. 

You observe Jimin for a moment, who’s talking to Taehyung but you see his eyes darting to Yoongi every so often. You grin. “I did just enough. Give it a second.” You give Seokjin a wry look. “Are you doubting me?”

He kisses your forehead. “Doubt you, love? Never.”

A moment later, your prediction proves right as you see Jimin say something to Tae before he’s shyly making his way over to Yoongi. You want to laugh because you’ve never seen Jimin be genuinely shy around an alpha a day in your life. Maybe you should get a picture so you can tease him later, payback for all the teasing you got over Seokjin.

You turn to Seokjin. “See? Told you.”

He hums, other arm coming up to join the first. “I do. I should never doubt you.”

You smile fondly as the two start talking, it’s stilted and awkward but you know they’ll get going on their own soon enough. You and Seokjin had taken a little while to realize that the omega that Yoongi was hung up on was Jimin. It wasn’t until Hoseok had guest taught again and Yoongi went with, with the excuse that he wanted Hoseok to use one of his songs for the dance and he wanted to see what the dancers came up with, and Yoongi mentioned the omega who ignored him again was there. He was vague on details, but Hoseok had gushed happily about one of the students in the class and how amazing they were. You’d asked their name and he’d told you Jimin.

When you’d asked Jimin about the class, he’d revealed that besides him, the only other omegas in that class were women. When you’d told Seokjin that Yoongi was pining over your friend, you got genuinely worried that he hurt himself with hard he was laughing. You asked about setting them up or setting up a group meeting to let them meet in a place where Jimin isn’t in dance mode, but Seokjin said no. When you pressed he said that letting Yoongi pine a little would let you both see if he was serious or if he was just infatuated because Jimin ignored him once.

You think they’re also mates and that the only reason they haven’t realized yet is that they’ve only met in the dance studios, a place that’s overwhelming in the mix of scents that it’s nigh impossible to pick out individual ones. So you’d agreed to wait until graduation to introduce them, which meant that all of your friends had to wait to meet the others otherwise it would have never been fair to Jimin. You’re a little glad you did because the way Jimin is glowing while talking to Yoongi tells you that they’re gonna be fine.

You look up at Seokjin. “Now, as much as I love my friends. I’d much rather we go celebrate alone before they invade your apartment to party.” You grin.

“That doesn’t seem like a very nice thing to do.” 

You quirk an eyebrow. “Oh?” You fiddle with the zipper on your robe. “So you don’t wanna see the dress I bought alone first?” You tsk in mock disappointment. “And here I thought you’d want to. You were so sad that I wouldn’t show you.”

He swallows, gaze dipping to stare at your fingers and what you might be hiding beneath the robe. “I…”

You tug it down just enough for him to get a good eyeful of your cleavage. “It’s blue you know.” You smile sweetly. “I figured since it’s your favorite color…” You give a small shrug as you trail off, starting to turn back to your friends. 

You feel Seokjin’s growl against your chest and grin in victory seconds before he’s hauling you away from your friends. 

[gravelyhumerus]

Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter Twelve

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Title: “I may just take your breath away” Relationship: Jemily

Rating: Explicit (as of this chapter) Summary: JJ faces consequence for her actions (and gets a hickey).

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

JJ threw herself down onto the bench, hoisting her cleat onto the table and yanking the laces loose. She bit her cheek to keep from crying as her breaths came in heaves. 

She had run from it all, again. That’s all she was good for anyways, running away. It’s what Jareaus did best. 

She closed her eyes, focusing on the present, pushing away all of the thoughts of home that were flashing across her vision. 

Home, in her quiet, empty childhood home, JJ had gotten a text from Emily Prentiss. JJ read the message, standing stock-still in the bathroom that sent shivers down her spine. 

The sight of the girl’s name made her smile, brought a shiver of excitement down her spine and the ghost of a kiss to her lips. 

But, when she closed her eyes, Rosalyn’s blood pooled on the tile floor underneath her feet. JJ couldn’t respond to Emily’s text. Instead, she curled up on the floor next to where her sister died. 

JJ shook her head, returning to the present. This wasn’t the time, she thought. 

She moved to her other shoe, untying the laces and prying the cleat off of her sore foot. She rolled her knee-high socks off of her calves, focusing on the familiar motions and not the swirling thoughts and emotions that tugged at her brain. 

But today, soccer wasn’t helping. The sport had always been her solace, the pitch a place where she could forget who she was, what she was, for a couple hours. But today, the mess that was her life had broken through the barrier, and gotten her sent home from practice early. 

JJ cursed as she stripped off her uniform, working her tight shirt and sports bra over her head, then removing her baggy navy blue shorts. Wrapping a towel around her, JJ grit her teeth as she took her toiletries into the shower. 

With a protesting squeak, the tap spun under JJ’s hands. She turned it just past midway, then further into the red, hoping the hot water would wash away the fog that clogged JJ’s brain.

JJ’s father was gone. Her mother hadn’t had the heart to tell her. Leaving it for JJ to arrive in her childhood home, finding out in person that the dining room now had two empty chairs instead of just one.

She stepped into the shower and let the scalding water run over her body. 

“I’m sorry Jenny,” her mother said, her voice breaking with the words. “I didn’t know how to say it over the phone, and after your break up-”

He had left without so much of a goodbye. She should have seen it coming. The fighting that had been bad when she was a teen, had only gotten worse after JJ wasn’t there to try and hold the pieces of her broken family together. 

She had frozen in the foyer, her duffel bag still in hand, as her mother stood before her, begging her to say something. 

JJ didn’t know what to say, still didn’t. All she knew was that she wasn’t enough. Not enough of a sister, of a daughter, of a girlfriend. She wasn’t enough for anyone, and she knew it. She couldn’t keep her family together. She couldn’t keep her sister alive. And she was certainly not good enough for someone like Emily Prentiss to love. 

Hot tears melded with the water raining down from above as JJ let out a quiet sob that echoed through the change room. 

“Jareau?” Kennedy’s confused voice called out as the door to the locker room slammed shut behind her. 

JJ stifled her cry with her hand over her mouth and tried to settle herself down. Breathing in and out, JJ closed her eyes and focused on the rush of the hot water over her body. 

JJ had run around the track, harder, faster, pushing herself further than she should have. She ran the drills sloppily, her aggression showing though in bursts of frustration when she couldn’t master her footwork. Her coach sent her to the locker room early; apparently he had enough of JJ’s bad mood.

JJ shook her head; she turned off the water and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around her before peeking her head out of the stall. 

“Yeah?” she croaked. 

“Seriously, like, what is going on with you?” Kennedy asked. 

JJ frowned, walking over and sitting on the bench, busying herself with towelling off her hair with her extra towel rather than answering the question. She shivered in the cool air.

“You’ve been all over the place this semester,” Kennedy continued, unheeded. “First you’re all weird, then you’re all smiley, now your brain is somewhere else.”

JJ didn’t look at her. 

“And frankly,” Kennedy continued, her wide blue eyes boring into the side of JJ’s face, “we can’t handle someone whose head isn’t in the game with playoffs coming up.”

JJ gulped. She was right. This had come at the worst possible time. All of this. And it was getting to her, affecting her game, making her sloppy. “Is this still about your break-up?” Kennedy asked. “Did something happen over Thanksgiving?”

“Honestly,” JJ sighed, “yes and no.”

“I don’t understand,” she said. 

She didn’t really understand either. How could she tell Kennedy about how her mother had cried when she had told her that she and Will had broken up? How could she explain that the tense silence between her and her mother was the last straw? How it was somehow worse than her parents' constant fighting? How could she explain that when she stared at the closed door of her dead sister's room, all of the heartbreak came flooding back?

Kennedy watched her, her earnest face blank as JJ wrestled with her inner turmoil. 

JJ’s mind flashed back to the hurt and pain on Emily’s face. The way Emily’s face collapsed into blankness as JJ pulled back, how JJ felt like she had betrayed her friend. 

JJ tried to explain. She went over her break up, in significantly more detail than she planned to, how she had felt bogged down by him, how she didn’t want him to visit, how he seemed to sense that and broke up with her. 

“But wasn’t all that a while ago?” Kennedy asked. 

JJ sighed. This was the catch. 

“There’s someone else on your mind, isn’t there?” Kennedy guessed. Sometimes the girl was actually perceptive. “Why haven’t you said anything? You’ve got to share. Is he hot?”

Well, not that perceptive. 

JJ found herself laughing at the question. She thought for a second. She hadn’t really… come out to anyone before. Penelope Garcia didn’t count, she practically guessed. Same with Spencer. And JJ hadn’t even thought about telling her mom. 

Kennedy was different. She thought JJ was straight and loved talking about boys with her. As the semester progressed, JJ’s interest in these conversations faded alongside her attraction to men.

“She is,” JJ said, to Kennedy’s surprise. 

JJ then proceeded to explain her friendship with Emily, her crush on the girl, and her absolute panic when faced with a potential romance with the other girl. 

“So you’re lesbian?” Kennedy asked.

“Yes. No. Maybe,” JJ floundered. 

“You don’t like me, do you?!” she asked, horror on her face. JJ’s stomach sank at the question. “Because I’m not… not…”

“Kennedy, I don’t,” JJ assured her, feeling a touch icky about the conversation. “I don’t see you that way.”

“Should I stop changing in front of you?” she asked.

JJ sighed in frustration. 

“Hey, you know how you don’t find all boys attractive?” JJ said, trying to dumb it down for her friend. “And some are just friends?”

“I guess,” Kennedy said, “So you don’t want to stare at girls in the change room?”

“No,” JJ said, “I’ve literally seen all of you guys naked. You’re like my siblings.”

“Oh thank god,” Kennedy said. JJ cringed at the relief in her voice, but decided not to call her out on it. “So this girl, Emily, you like her?”

“Yeah,” JJ said. 

“Then why don’t you date her?” Kennedy asked. “Didn’t you guys kiss?”

JJ ran her hands through her hair—a nervous habit she knew messed up her hair and left it poofy—as she tried to formulate her response. She couldn’t even explain it to Emily, or herself, she wasn’t sure how to make Kennedy understand. 

JJ hurt people. She messed everything up. She ruined her last relationship because she got bored of him. Would she do the same to Emily? That would ruin everything. She couldn’t lose Emily. It was better to be friends and have her close than have something more and ruin it. 

Explaining that was a challenge, but eventually Kennedy got it. Mostly.

“I think I’ve just made it worse,” JJ said. “I did exactly what I was trying to avoid, I hurt her.”

“What happened?”

JJ didn’t know what happened. She was still trying to claw her way out of the fog that clogged up her brain. 

“Emily texted me. And I just left her on read,” JJ said, her anger at herself coming through in her tone. “I didn’t mean to. She texted me when her flight landed but I was just so out of it.”

JJ gulped, rifling through her bag for some clothes as the chill of the room was creeping into her bones. 

“I put off responding to Emily until I had a handle on my feelings,” JJ explained, she was too afraid baggage on this girl that she liked so much, desperately avoiding scaring her off. 

Left alone in her childhood bedroom, the walls still painted pink and the band posters still hanging onto her wall with scotch tape, JJ’s thoughts swirled around. She worked herself up to a panic, pacing back and forth across the creaky wooden floor, until she laced up her sneakers and thundered downstairs. 

She ran. First, around the block, passing the familiar neighbours and parks that populated her suburban neighbourhood. She pushed on, heading deeper into suburbia.

Tears stung at her eyes as the route took her back to high school, her feeling of desperation to escape, to get out of this shitty town and all the weight that made her feel like she was slowly sinking. 

That weight had returned. Now, it doubled down on her, making her second guess it all. 

“I could have just pretended like nothing was wrong,” JJ said, “But that felt like a lie.”

Before she realized it, she found herself jogging past Will’s house. 

She remembered the year when he moved to Pennsylvania: it was tenth grade and he was the new kid. He hadn’t known Ros. He was safe, free of the expectations of JJ being the poor little Jareau girl. 

Now, seeing his place sent a pit of anxiety into her stomach. 

“But the more I put it off, the more I started questioning what I had started,” JJ said.

“Like, kissing her, you mean?” Kennedy asked, “Did you regret it or something?”

“No,” she replied, “I would never regret that.”

She ruined things. She hurt people. And if she let things continue with Emily, it would just blow up in her face. 

JJ ran harder, slowly coming to a conclusion. 

“I needed to break it off,” JJ said. “I knew I would hurt her. I just have so much going on. I’ll just hurt her.”

She gritted her teeth as she mentally prepared herself to tell Emily. She knew she had to get it over with. Nip it in the bud before it was real. She couldn’t lose her friend. If she did, she would lose them all. 

It would be all her fault, if things ended badly. All their friends would know that JJ was to blame, Derek would hate her, Hotch too, Spencer would look at her differently, and Penelope would know she made the mistake of being JJ’s friend. 

It would be better if they didn’t start. They didn’t kiss again. No one would get hurt. They could just be friends. Just friends. 

“So you decided to stay friends? Why didn’t you just text her back?”

“I tried. I drafted text after text after text and nothing worked. I just kept deleting it.”

When JJ returned to her parents house—well, her mom’s house now—she picked up her phone, trying to draft a message to Emily. Try as she might, she couldn’t form a coherent sentence. 

“I fucked it up,” JJ admitted to Kennedy. “I thought breaking things off before it started would be better, but I think I made things worse.”

“So you’re not dating her?” 

“No.”

“Look Jen, I’m sorry about your family stuff. That’s hard. My parents split when I was twelve and it seriously fucked me up. I get it. But you gotta get over yourself.”

JJ frowned, feeling offended by the comment, but knew that Kennedy didn’t mean anything by it. She was just like that. 

“You’re not going to make it better by wallowing and lashing out. It’s not healthy, and you’re going to cost us the playoffs. You need to get out of your head.”

Kennedy thought for a minute, seeming to size JJ up on the spot. 

“You know what you need?” Kennedy said. “To get out. See new people. Drink. Have fun.”

This was Kennedy’s solution for everything, but for the first time, JJ didn’t turn the offer down, surprising even herself. 

 ———

JJ gulped her beer, downing it quickly despite the warm foam that swirled in her mouth. She needed to be drunk, like right now. Kennedy seemed to agree, holding the bottle upright to allow the beer flow into JJ’s mouth until she finished the drink.

They were in a dingy frat house, surrounded by miscellaneous athletes. There was a lull before playoffs, for most teams, which meant that the weekend was jam packed with parties. This one was occupied by the soccer teams, men’s basketball, and assorted other players that JJ couldn’t place in her drunken state. 

She wiped her mouth, depositing her bottle on the nearby table, and found herself stumbling somewhat. She was only getting more drunk at this point .  After quite a few rounds of shots before they left Kenendy’s dorm room, JJ was well on her way to being blackout.

JJ was already regretting her decision. With finals and playoffs coming up, she should have been spending this time studying or training. 

But, after days of side looks from Penelope and the sad look in Spencer’s eyes, JJ needed to get out of her residence, away from all the people who knew how much she had fucked it up. Ever since JJ and Emily returned to residence on Sunday, and JJ broke it off, tension between JJ and all of her friends had been palpable.

She had no idea how to fix things, and drinking away her problems seemed like it might actually work. She also knew that after a week of little to no appetite, the alcohol was hitting her harder than it would’ve on a full stomach. 

“Easy girl,” Kennedy laughed, likely even drunker than the blonde. Her bright red hair was straightened, almost unrecognisable to JJ, who was used to the wild frizzy curls she usually sported, and fell halfway down her back. Her blue eyes glinted mischievously as she spotted some people going out for a smoke. 

JJ sighed as Kennedy looked at her pleadingly, knowing the girl wanted to bum a cigarette. She was a notorious drunk smoker. 

“Those will kill you,” JJ warned, as her mind wandered to how she sometimes spotted Emily sitting on the bleachers, smoking alone, lost in thought. She couldn’t explain how something so bad for you could look so hot in the right hands.

“Not if I have just one,” Kennedy said. “I’ll be fine. You need to talk to someone besides me and Jordan. Find a guy. It’ll be good for you.”

JJ sighed. Kennedy and her got along well during practices and were an unstoppable force on the field, but outside of that, they were very different people. Jordan Todd, their mutual friend on the team who played defence, was too busy talking to a group of volleyball players to notice JJ looking at her. 

She ran her eyes around the cramped party, watching masses of bodies writhe to the pounding music. She opened her next beer and took a long swig, swaying slightly to the music, trying to get out of her head and enjoy the party. 

Maybe Kennedy was right. Maybe if JJ could get her mind off Emily, she could focus on just being friends with her. Maybe without all of her romantic feelings clouding her thoughts, JJ could make amends and they could just be friends. 

When Kennedy returned to the party, she had her boyfriend Grant Anderson in tow. He was stocky and had a round face, wearing a polo shirt, khakis and boat shoes like most of the guys at the party. 

JJ greeted him pleasantly, though she was still a little cheesed that he had single-handedly gotten most of the team sick a few weeks ago. 

“We’re getting her laid,” Kennedy announced. 

JJ grimaced as Grant began to list off the eligible bachelors on the water polo team. JJ floundered with her response, deciding instead to gulp down her beer, hoping the alcohol would make this easier.

Before he finished his list, he spotted someone who he clearly decided would be perfect for her. He was tall, muscular, with kind eyes, a perfect man in any other circumstance. 

Kennedy elbowed her in the side as he walked up to him, greeting him with exaggerated excitement and a pointed look to JJ. Despite their previous conversation about JJ’s ambiguous sexuality, Kennedy seemed to have defaulted to setting her up with men. 

He told her his name was Luke, showed her pictures of his dog, and talked to her about how challenging it was to balance being a varsity lacrosse player with academics. He was perfect. The kind of boy that any girl would be thrilled to bring back home to her parents. 

Except JJ couldn’t bring herself to feel any attraction to him. Instead of lust, she pictured herself watching the game with him and eating cheetos.

JJ nodded passively as Kennedy and Grant left her with Luke, trying to focus on the facts about his life. She kicked herself internally, knowing that he seemed smart and kind, and that she shouldn’t be rude, but she couldn’t get Emily out of her mind. Anyways, JJ wasn’t even sure if she even liked men at all. 

As Luke explained his major and minor combo, and how that was going to get him into the FBI some day, JJ’s mind wandered to the thought of running her hands through Emily’s silky black hair.

JJ zoned out, her eyes drifting across the party, wondering where Kennedy, Grant and Jordan had all wandered off to.

As if called, Kennedy walked up with a bottle of jägermeister and some plastic shot glasses. She greeted Luke with a friendly greeting, obviously familiar with the tall lacrosse player.

“Shots?” She asked with a grin. JJ rolled her eyes but couldn’t say no, she was already drunk and the idea of more alcohol sounded like a good idea at the time. 

They downed two shots before Kennedy heard a song that she liked playing over the speakers and she headed back onto the dance floor to find her boyfriend, leaving JJ alone with Luke. 

A girl caught her eye from across the party, leaning casually on the kitchen counter, sipping something amber coloured out of a glass. JJ recognized her from the bar that they went to on trivia nights, her auburn hair cut in a bob and mischievous eyes were unmistakable. She was the bartender, who JJ had, at one point, caught flirting with Emily. 

Now, the girl was making eyes at her. 

JJ looked back to Luke, who was asking her about her major, and her plans for the future. She had to admit that she didn’t really know, and that she was keeping her options open. 

Distracted by the other girl’s presence, JJ’s eyes kept flicking towards the brunette, tracking her as she walked across the room and right up to JJ. 

“Hey there,” the mystery girl said, smiling at JJ and giving Luke a quick wave. 

“Hello,” Luke said with a friendly nod. 

“I think your friend’s looking for a partner,” the girl said, pointing towards one of Luke’s friends who was waving over at him. He was tall and had an oversized navy and yellow varsity jacket. He, like Luke, seemed familiar from other varsity events that JJ had attended, Simon… or Simmons or something like that. 

Before she knew it, Luke was pulled into a beer pong game, giving JJ an apologetic smile and a wave, before leaving her with the brunette. 

The taller girl looked her up and down, blatantly checking her out. 

“What are you drinking?” she asked, gesturing to JJ’s beer. “An IPA?”

“You got it,” JJ said. “You?”

“Tequila sunrise,” she responded. “I like things sweet.”

JJ found herself blushing, as the girl leaned in to say that. The girl's hair was curled, resting just below her ears on her neck in a playful style. She had impressive liquid eyeliner swooping across her lids and a soft nude lipstick on her lips. JJ’s eyes moved south, taking in her low cut blouse and skin tight jeans. 

Her head spun at the sight of her. And at the sheer amount of beer that she had consumed. 

The brunette’s face was soft, tanned. Her eyes large, looking down at her with an impish grin. She was lithe and sultry, and smelled like licorice.  

“Like what you see?” the stranger said, smirking at JJ’s reddening face. “The name’s Elle, I think I’ve seen you around.” 

“Jennifer, but my friends call me JJ,” she said. 

“Well. Jennifer, let's see if we can work up to calling you JJ then, shall we?”

Elle drained the last of her drink, placing the glass on a nearby table. 

“Want to get out of this dump?” Elle asked. 

JJ nodded dumbly, acting without thinking, and followed the girl out of the party, sending Kennedy a quick text as she grabbed her coat. 

JJ: took ur advice! see yuo later

Kennedy didn’t respond, as she was too busy chugging beer from a funnel at the time. 

The two girls walked outside, and within seconds JJ’s face was between Elle’s hands, pulled into a deep, passionate and incredibly sexy kiss. 

JJ acted on autopilot, responding in kind to the other girl’s advances as she pressed JJ up against the brick wall, grinding into her as Elle swiped her tongue against JJ’s. 

Despite feeling unsteady, with the two shots of alcohol hitting her hard, JJ’s stomach flopped at the thought of kissing someone who wasn’t Emily. Half of her wanted to race home, knock on Emily’s door, and beg her forgiveness, but the other half was melting into this stranger’s arms. 

JJ’s blood raced through her veins, and she could feel the need flash across her mind. She wanted this girl, knowing nothing about her. She was there, and she was touching JJ, and it was all she wanted in that moment. 

JJ was also very drunk. Drunker than she had been in a long time. The world spun slightly, and she felt warm despite the frosty air. 

When Elle pulled back, JJ’s lips were swollen and she was desperate for more. 

“Your place or mine?” Elle asked. 

 ———

They tumbled into Elle’s room, hands tugging at clothing and lips connected the entire time. JJ kicked off her shoes and fiddled with her belt, trying to remove obstacles early on in the process. 

Soon Elle was standing in front of her wearing only a pair of jeans and a lacy black bra, the sight of which made JJ acutely aware of the wetness that was pooling between her legs. 

“Take this off,” Elle commanded, tugging on the v-neck blue shirt that JJ had worn, not knowing when she was picking out her outfit that she would actually be going home with someone. 

JJ obeyed, pulling it over her head, revealing a grey sports bra with a white stretchy band that wrapped around her ribcage. Elle pulled her in for another kiss, her mouth demanding and insistent. 

As they kissed, Elle’s deft hands undid the button on her jeans, and pulled down the zipper on her fly. JJ then shimmied her jeans off, leaving her in her underwear as she watched Elle do the same. 

Somehow the other girls movements were elegant and intentional, making the awkward motion of stripping look hot. 

“Bed,” Elle said, guiding JJ onto the edge of her own bed and straddling her. 

Elle lived off campus, in a fairly average apartment. Her room was neat, with only scattered books and a bit of laundry on the ground in the corner. Her bed was soft, but squeaked with their motion. JJ hoped Elle didn’t have any roommates. 

JJ held onto her thighs as Elle kissed down her jaw, before moving her lips to JJ’s pulse point and down her neck. Elle sucked on the soft skin above her collar bone, evoking a surprised moan from JJ. 

Her breathing grew heavy as Elle sucked on her neck and buried her hands in her hair. JJ gripped the brunette's thighs even tighter, before running her arms up and down her spine, tracing the feeling of a woman’s body, almost naked against hers. 

It was a different feeling, having a girl's breast pressed up against hers. The softness of Elle’s face was so different from the roughness of any man's. 

As JJ was lost in thought, an almost tentative hand fiddled with the back of her sports bra. No, not tentative, there was nothing about Elle that was tentative. It was a question, asking for consent to strip JJ’s final layer off. JJ nodded and before she knew it, Elle was pulling the garment smoothly off of her head. 

Elle’s lips went lower, her tongue dragging across the small swell of JJ’s breast and swirled around her nipple.  JJ gasped and clenched her thighs at the sensation, squeezing her eyes shut in pleasure. 

“You’re such a pretty thing,” Elle whispered at her.  

JJ opened her eyes as Elle sucked on her nipple, eliciting a quiet, oh , in surprise. She could feel Elle smiling, a devilish grin of a girl who knew exactly what she was doing. 

Then, she stopped and grinned at her. JJ stared, slack jaw, back at her as her head spun with alcohol and lust. 

Elle patted her thigh, an instruction to get further on the bed, JJ did so, moving up onto it. Elle carefully placed herself on top of JJ, propping herself up by her elbows as she resumed their kiss. 

JJ reached around to Elle’s back, deciding to undo her bra and level the playing field, but she fumbled with the clasp. A blush went to her cheeks as she struggled with the fastener, tugging at it frantically. 

“First time?” Elle asked her, grinning wolfishly down at her. 

JJ couldn't lie, so she just nodded before adding: “With a girl at least.”

“Don’t worry,” Elle whispered. “I’ll show you the ropes.”

She sat on her haunches and one handedly took off her own bra, flinging it somewhere off the bed and staring down at JJ. 

JJ panted as she took all of Elle in, her big eyes, parted lips. Her long neck and graceful swoop of her collar bones. Her round breasts and tanned skin before her. 

A pair of black panties hid the last of Elle from JJ, hugging her hips and teasing her of what lay beneath. 

Elle pulled JJ onto herself, guiding her down with confident hands on JJ’s thighs. They resumed their kiss, now breathy and frantic, their lips crashed together in open mouthed kisses, both girls desperate to get closer.

Elle’s hand grazed her hip, trailing along her thigh and coming to rest between JJ’s legs. JJ’s hips bucked into the touch, grinding down onto Elle’s hand. 

“Someone’s excited,” Elle noted between kisses. 

Elle flipped both of them over, carefully holding JJ’s hip in one hand and head with the other and JJ crashed into the mattress with a gasp. Elle’s thigh fell between hers, making contact with JJ’s sensitive core. 

The brunette kissed her deeply, pushing their bodies together and moving her hips, allowing her thigh to grind against JJ.

The friction sent JJ’s mind buzzing, as she was desperate for more contact. 

“What do you say Jennifer,” Elle whispered in her ear, “Can I take these off of you?”

JJ nodded desperately, as the sound of Elle’s breath right into her ear sent tingles down her spine. 

Elle kissed along JJ’s neck, placing a trail of open-mouth kisses down her chest and stomach, before coming to rest between JJ’s legs. 

JJ felt herself tensing up, nervous about what she knew would come next. 

As if sensing JJ’s hesitation, Elle placed her hand on JJ’s stomach, looking in her eyes with a look that said: relax.

JJ acquiesced, forcing her muscles to relax. Elle wrapped her arms around and under JJ’s legs, spreading them apart and holding them lightly. She then pressed her face into JJ’s left thigh, kissing it in a way that was incredibly arousing. 

JJ gasped, jerking her leg away at the ticklish sensation, only to be held in place by Elle’s calm arm around her thigh. Elle kissed up JJ’s thigh, sucking onto her pale flesh hard enough to leave marks. 

JJ felt herself clenching, as the combinations of sensations and the visual of Elle between her legs was almost too much. She gasped and panted, breathing heavy as all of her nerves were on fire. 

The blonde gripped the sheets, on the verge of begging Elle to just fuck her already , but she couldn’t, she didn’t want that. All of this, all that was leading up to it, was on the cusp of sending her over the edge and she hadn’t even been touched where she needed to yet. 

Elle hovered over JJ’s black panties, her breath coming in pants as she looked up at JJ, her brown eyes almost black in the dim light. Her hot breath made JJ strain forward, but Elle’s hands held her hips flat to the bed. 

“Pl– please,” JJ whimpered. 

At her word, Elle tugged on JJ’s panties, allowing the blonde to lift her hips up as Elle tugged them down and off. 

Now, there was nothing between Elle and JJ. 

The distance was soon closed and Elle greeted her with a long swipe up the centre, then a swirl over JJ’s clit. She almost yelled at the contact, as JJ’s head spun at the sensation of Elle’s mouth on her. 

“You’re so wet for me,” Elle cooed. JJ nodded desperate for her to stop talking and start eating her out. 

And Elle did. And she did it well. 

Elle’s tongue danced across JJ, masterfully seeking out the places that made JJ gasp and moan. She was responsive to each noise that JJ made, and showed her clean talent at bringing another woman pleasure. JJ let go, focusing only on the feelings that Elle was evoking and the way she looked up at her as if checking in. 

After a moment, JJ reached down. She entwined her one hand in Elle’s hair, guiding her up to her clit, desperate for more contact. 

Before this, JJ always thought of oral as a step that she had to get through. It was always sloppy, unsatisfying, nowhere near the feelings she could get with her own hands or with a vibrator. 

But now, as Elle sucked on her clit and moved her tongue across her, JJ didn’t want it to end. Unlike with herself, each moment was unexpected yet still welcome, as Elle moved around, constantly finding new ways to make JJ writhe on the bed. 

Then, when JJ thought she wouldn’t ever feel better than she had, Elle’s right hand moved, and her fingers teased at JJ’s entrance. Elle looked up, checking that it was alright, JJ nodded desperately in response. 

Elle entered her easily with two fingers. They glided into her with no resistance and JJ thought she might come just at the feeling of fullness in combination with Elle’s tongue flicking at her. 

Starting a steady motion that complemented her tongue moving up and down, Elle’s fingers moved in and out of JJ, slowly, almost too slowly. 

As JJ’s breath came heavier, Elle picked up speed, sucking at JJ’s clit and thrusting at an impressive speed. JJ’s hand held onto Elle’s hair for dear life. 

As JJ babbled incoherently, begging Elle to keep going, keep going, keep going, suddenly she could picture Emily on top of her, Emily between her legs and Emily making her see stars. 

JJ came saying Emily’s name. The sensation rolled through her, making her toes curl as she shut her eyes against the feeling. JJ’s lips parted and her body shivered as the orgasm took her. 

She could hear Elle chuckle, but the noise was not enough to break the waves of pleasure that wracked through her body. The brunette didn’t stop her movements, rubbing her fingers down inside JJ as she rode out her orgasm. Nor did she stop sucking on JJ’s clit, as she had her lips wrapped around it, with her tongue rubbing against the centre. 

Without a moment to breathe, JJ suddenly felt a second orgasm coming, building up in her gut and coming as a second wave that washed over her before she even knew it. 

It hit her with less force than the first, but still powerful enough to send her twitching and shuddering. Elle pulled back, allowing JJ to ride her fingers at her own pace.

After a few moments of gasping and panting, JJ opened her eyes to find Elle wiping her hand on a towel and grinning down at her. 

“Wow,” JJ managed, dazed at the feeling of elation that made her skin buzz. 

Elle flopped beside her, reaching over JJ’s prone form towards a plastic reusable water bottle. She unscrewed the cap before offering some to JJ. She took it eagerly, spent and dehydrated from all of the beer. 

“Good?” Elle asked, taking the water then having a sip for herself. 

JJ nodded dumbly, feeling doubly out of it from the alcohol and the sex. 

Elle placed the bottle back down on the desk, then laid down on the bed, facing JJ.

“Who’s Emily?” she asked, way more casually than the question should entail. 

JJ’s face lit up in an even deeper blush than she was already sporting, mortified at the question and the memory of her calling out another girl's name while she was in bed with Elle. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Elle said, “But I don’t do cheating, if that’s what this is.”

“We’re not-” JJ said, stuttering. We’re not what? We’re not anything, yet, she thought. I broke it off before we could be anything. “I’m single, don’t worry.”

“Is she someone you want?” Elle asked. 

JJ nodded, unsure of where this line of questioning would lead. 

“Well, you have a lot to learn then,” Elle mused, “if you’re going to ever please this girl.”

JJ stared at her. 

“From where I’m sitting,” Elle said, “you’ve gone home with some girl—me—to forget about this Emily girl, am I right?”

JJ nodded. 

“But this is also your first time with a girl. So I’m sensing there’s some sort of combination of a will-they-won't-they situation and a sexuality crisis at play. Hence you have something to learn from me.”

“That’s not-”

“Yes it is,” Elle interrupted. “I don’t mind, don’t worry. I’ll show you some of the tricks up my sleeve and this Emily girl will have me to thank.”

JJ stuttered at Elle’s bold words, but didn’t have a single coherent thought to counter the brunette’s argument. She did want Emily. That was all she thought about. It was all so complicated, but here, with Elle, it was so simple. There were no feelings, no friendships, no bridges to burn, just sex. 

“So, are you ready to learn?” Elle said, a daring look in her eye as her finger trailed along JJ’s stomach. 

JJ nodded. 

“Come on then.”

She obeyed, climbing onto Elle and kissing her deeply before moving lower, her hand creeping down to graze the brunette’s thigh. 

“Don’t worry,” Elle said, “I’ll guide you through it.”

——— 

JJ woke up that morning to a splitting headache and a stomach that gave her the feeling that her bed was a ship lost at sea, tilting under the force of the ocean, making her nothing but seasick. But, she wasn’t in a boat, she was in a bed, and she was not in her own.

She squinted against the daylight, cracking open her eyes and blinking hard. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, holding her head steady as the headache throbbed and left her disoriented. 

The large bay window was not hers, and the sleeping girl next to her was unfamiliar. But, the first thought in JJ’s mind was not either of these facts, it was the question of where the bathroom was, because she was about to yak. 

JJ tried to stand, but the room was spinning so she braced herself with the desk that was right next to the bed, and she stumbled across the room, into the hall, where she saw the bathroom. 

Not bothering to close the door behind her, JJ knelt and puked into the toilet. Some of the drinks from the night before came up, the bile feeling like fire in her throat and mouth. She heaved into the toilet, her eyes stinging with tears as she was forced to reckon with the sheer amount of alcohol that she had consumed at the party. 

When her stomach had finally settled, JJ curled up on the floor, as the tears spilled down her cheeks. 

She could barely remember the majority of the night before, but from what she could remember, it didn’t paint her in a very good light.

She had fucked someone else, and whoever this girl was, JJ could remember snippets of the evening and knew she had royally messed up. 

Elle stood in the doorway with a glass of water, knocking lightly on the doorframe to announce her presence. JJ blinked up at her, mortified by her current predicament. 

“Don’t tell me I got you pregnant,” Elle quipped, squatting and holding out the glass to JJ, who laughed half-heartedly and took it. JJ was relieved that at least she remembered the brunette’s name, that was a good sign.

Sipping the water, she swished it around in her mouth before spitting it out in the toilet. She then took another sip, swallowing it and relishing the cool feeling in her throat, mentally begging her body not to throw it up. 

“You ok?” Elle asked, standing up. 

JJ shrugged. 

“Probably should have said no to that last beer,” JJ said hoarsely. “I should go.”

JJ stood, her legs feeling shaky and the world still feeling like it was spinning slightly. She was still mostly naked, only wearing her underwear and an unfamiliar t-shirt, which was presumably Elle’s. 

Bright red blotches were visible above the fabric, gracing her collarbones and the right side of her neck with an array of hickies. JJ gasped and prodded at them, shocked at the angry red that was bright against her pale skin. 

Her hair was a mess; the once-perfect blonde waves were mussed and tangled. There were large bags under her eyes and a wild look in her eyes. 

The realization of what she had done sent another urgent feeling of nausea through her. She hurriedly rejected Elle’s offers of coffee, or breakfast, and raced out of her apartment building. 

 ———

After a chilly walk through the student village, under the bright grey November light, JJ stumbled back to residence. She was wearing only the outfit she had worn out which didn’t do much against the cool fall breeze than it had last night with the warm buzz of alcohol in her system. 

JJ stared at the ground her entire walk home, mortified with her leather jacket, high heeled boots, and low cut shirt. She was clearly on a walk of shame that Sunday morning. 

Her outfit also did absolutely nothing to hide the bright red marks that crept up her neck. She had been too drunk to think about the consequences of letting Elle suck on her skin, and now had to face the consequences. 

You’re ok, she said to herself. All you have to do is make it to your room. You have some concealer there, and turtlenecks. If you make it there you’re safe, no one will know.

She hurried up the stairs, unlocking the door to the second floor and speeding down the hall. She thanked god that her hair was long enough, so when she passed some people in the hall, she just lowered her head and looked away, hoping that no one looked at her too closely. 

JJ was lucky that even though she had made a lot of mistakes that night, she still had her keys and her phone. She had her lanyard around her neck, ready to unlock her door, and there she would be home free. 

Just as she reached her room, having to stop herself from sprinting down the hall, the door across the hall opened. JJ tensed up, key still in the lock, knowing exactly who was there.

She turned, forgetting about the marks on her neck, and looked at a steel-faced Emily Prentiss, looking at her with a blank expression in her eyes.

She was dressed for the day, wearing dark jeans, a baggy hoodie, and cordless headphones in her ears. 

“Hello,” she said cooly, the simple word sending hurt into JJ’s gut. 

“Hey,” JJ said, it sounded more like a croak than a word. 

Emily’s eyes flicked down to her neck, widening at the sight. JJ gulped, realizing that Emily knew exactly what JJ had done the night before, the evidence clear all over her. 

“I gotta go,” Emily said tersely, “I’m going to be late.”

And with that, Emily marched down the hall, without another word to JJ. 

JJ unlocked her door, pushed it open, then her legs gave way and she fell in a puddle of her own tears, sobs wracking her whole body. 

“JJ, what’s wrong?!” Penelope gasped, leaping up from her office chair and kneeling down in front of JJ. 

She couldn’t make a sound, her embarrassment and anger at herself manifesting in angry sobs. Penelope wrapped her arms around JJ and allowed her to cry, patting her hair and holding her close.

“I’m so sorry,” JJ managed, knowing the person she was really apologizing to couldn’t hear her.

[oyesmendes]

all i wanted was a happy ending

a/n: it’s been a hot minute hasn’t it???? anyway, summer’s ended and we’re in the new semester which is #tragic because im still doing online school and i barely see my friends. but ya here’s one that’s been sitting in my inbox for awhile, probably gna get yelled at bc its an angst piece but yknow what? suCK IT jk i hope you enjoy as always, leave me a message!!

trigger warning: mention of cheating, general angst and a couple of baby swears

It felt like a war in her own home. Hurtful words shot like bullets through the wreckage. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Shawn and Kiara were supposed to be happy. But somehow through the year long world tour, señorita and the fourth album, they seemed to have lost their way. Date nights were reduced to once a month, and nights in were converted to screaming matches and cold wars. Every moment spent together was a battle against each other, tonight was no different. Shawn doesn’t even remember what the argument was about anymore, they were now just pulling shit out from the past to use as their ammunition.

“Don’t pin this on me, Kiara.”

“I never pinned it on you, Shawn. I’m just stating facts that are known to the whole world. Don’t tell me you don’t see those rumours about you and Camila? And don’t tell me they aren’t true.” She grimaces at the way Camila’s name rolls of her tongue, and the way that her thick Mexican accent starts to peak out when she’s mad.

“They’re not true.” He tries to defend. Kiara scoffs, taking a couple steps away from Shawn.

“Everyone knows you’ve had a thing for her since you were a literal child, Shawn. Don’t need to treat me like an idiota.”

“I wasn’t treating you like an idiot.” Shawn seethed.

“Then tell me the truth!”

“That is the truth, Kiara! I love you, and not her! Why can’t you just believe that we’re just friends?”

“Because I’m not a cabrón. Friends don’t look at each other like that! I recognise the way you look at her, Shawn. It’s the same look you gave me when we first started dating. When you and her had that awkward phase and she was barely in your life, you gave me that look - like I was the most important thing in the world to you.” The part comes out like a whisper and she feels her heart physically break. Shawn watches Kiara walk the borders of the room, eyes fixated on the lines of the tiles on the floor. He wants to stop her from pacing, hold her close so he can stop his mind from racing a thousand miles an hour. But he doesn’t. Instead he keeps his feet planted to the ground, body slumped in defeat as he just watches her.

“You are the most important thing in the entire world to me, honey.” Tears prick at her eyes when he uses her pet name. Kiara knows why this fight started even if Shawn didn’t. It has been a storm that was brewing inside of her for weeks. She had seen an article of Shawn and Camila cozying up on each other when he was away on tour. She didn’t think much of it at first, trusted Shawn with her whole heart. But after more rumours spread and some of her friends asking if she was okay, Kiara finally had enough. A thunderstorm ensued, and it was in no way relaxing for either of them.

“Am I really?” Kiara finally looks up at him, and he nods so eagerly that for a moment she thinks she shouldn’t bring the article up. But the anger makes her hands work faster than her mind, scrolling through her phone to the article her best friend had sent her a couple weeks ago. It was a picture of Camila, with her legs wrapped around Shawn and passionately kissing him on the streets of Nashville. She feels the bile rise in her throat looking at the picture again. He could say that the picture was blur as hell, but anyone who knew them would know that the head of luscious brown locks belonged to Shawn.

“Then explain to me, Shawn. What is this?” She shoves the phone shakily into his hands and he feels his heart plummet to his feet. When he doesn’t respond, Kiara nods her her head and looks at him in disappointment.

“Yeah, I thought so too.”  

“I-I wanted to tell you and-“ Shawn scrambles to find the right words, though at this point his efforts seem to be futile.

“When Shawn? When did you want to tell me? Because this picture has been sitting in my phone since the night it happened. I’ve tried so hard to push it out of my mind, and amor I’ve really tried. I didn’t want to give myself a reason to ever use it. But you- you picking fights, and in between tour and the fourth album - we’re no longer the same anymore, and I can’t help but think that this is the reason.” Shawn drops the phone to the table, approaching Kiara and touching her arm. She flinches, moving away from him.

“Don’t.”

Shawn drops his arms to the side.

“Mila was my first real love, Ki.” The way both hers and Camila’s nicknames roll off his tongue so easily in the situation makes Kiara’s stomach churn. He runs his fingers through his hair and continues, “She used to be my world - but that was the past. And that photo, we just haven’t seen each other in awhile and we got really excited so she-“

“So she jumps on to you like you’re her chico amante at the airport? So she kisses you like she’s your fucking girlfriend? That’s some top notch bullshit, Shawn. I thought you’d try harder than that.”

“If you would just let me explain-”

“If you haven’t noticed, there’s nothing left to explain.”

Kiara turns on her heel towards their shared bed room and Shawn’s following closely behind her.

“Don’t walk away from this, Kiara Anne!” In the heat of the moment he raises his voice and Kiara stops dead in her tracks, almost making Shawn crash straight into her.

“You have no right to tell me what to do, Shawn Peter Raul Mendes. You lost your rights ever since that night. I gave you weeks to come clean, to tell me the truth. Instead, you choose to pick fights in every possible situation.” She pokes his chest with her finger when she so desperately wants for someone, for him, to hold her. She wraps her arms around her torso in replacement, willing her tears not to fall.

“All I wanted was a happy ending, Shawn. All my life, I just wanted a happy ending. It didn’t need to be a fairytale happily ever after bullshit, I just wanted to be happy with someone who loved me. I thought it would be with you.” Kiara backs up against the wall, her head tilted back. “Guess the jokes on me huh?” She let’s out a humourless laugh.

“I’m so sorry, honey.” Shawn rubs her arm. She doesn’t move from her spot, and she’s given up on holding back her tears. When her eyes meet Shawn’s, she’s pushing his arms off hers and squirming her way out from the small space between them. Kiara turns to look at him again, and this time the words that spill from her mouth are laced with pain,

“Sorry doesn’t fix anything.”

[eyezari]

math tutor (tsukki x f!reader)

you’ve been annoying tsukishima to be your math tutor considering he was the top student and he keeps rejecting you,, one day you finally give up and ask the second top student for help and he clearly was not happy about it

consider this!!!

→ gender-neutral y/n!  

→ little angst.... if you squint..

→ possessive tsukki?? is this even a warning

→ not punctuated correctly

“just this one question? surely...!” you plead, holding tightly onto your textbook. you were so close to failing this semester and you really needed your average to be lifted through the upcoming exams. when everyone thought it was the easiest subject, you found it the most difficult. 

so you’re back again, the next day. tsukki was used to you coming up to him every lesson to ask for help,, in fact its been going on since the beginning of the year. and he never helped. not once. 

you don’t know why you kept coming back and begging him when you knew damn well he was gonna give you the same harsh answer. he would say things like, ‘are you dumb? of course not.’ or ‘not in a million years.’ and his personal favourite, ‘please come back during business hours.” (you still don’t know when that is)

yamaguchi, who sat next to him looked at you two amused. “please! this is probably the most difficult one yet. khan academy didn’t help. i’ve tried everything.” tsukishima didn’t even bat an eye, he didn’t even spare a glance and his head down onto his page. you sigh. 

“y/n, who do you take me for?” he finally said and you sigh again. you were seriously lost and the math teacher is always out of the room doing whatever. the revision notes, you just didn’t understand. and your friends just gave you shallow explanations. 

the reason why you went to him in the first place is when you overheard him teaching another girl in class. she didn’t understand anything but it’s like he adapted her learning method and explained it to her like it was the easiest thing in the world. after that, that girl never failed to get good grades. ‘why doesn’t he wanna teach me?.. it’s just one question..’ you thought. 

to be honest, your heart would just ache whenever you thought about it. he decided to help someone else and they passed the whole year but couldn’t give you a single answer. you groan, scratching your head when you read the question again. then you turned to hinata, “hey, tsukishima has helped you guys out before right?”

“tsukishima? yeah but he gave up after and refused to teach us anymore, lol.” he smiles at you before going back to playing with his volleyball keychain. oh. so it was really just you who he refused to help. maybe it’s because you’re not close? no, you’ve known each other for quite sometime.. as.. friends. wait, no.. acquaintances? your jaw dropped as you realised, ‘does he not even think of me as a friend......bruh..’ 

you shook your head and just kept doing the rest of the practice test, skipping questions that you were unsure of.

the next week after you marked your practice test; you realised you were still way behind. you barely passed half of it, with an underwhelming score of 30 out of 58. you still didn’t understand most of it. not even photomath explained well. you sneak a peek at tsukki’s paper... 58 out of 58.. huh. interesting. he recently went on a training camp for volleyball club and still managed to study well. you stood up to stand in front of his desk which was next to yours. 

“tsukki.” you try and get his attention, but with his headphones on his head, it might be difficult. you repeated his name several times, nervously fidgeting with your fingers. you noticed he was in a sort of sour mood after his volleyball training camp and you couldn’t help but to feel bad you were disturbing him. 

with a scowl on his face, he removes his headphones. “what now?”

you became even more nervous now that his attention was on you. “um, can i just ask how you did the quadratic relations part.. i just don’t quite understand.” you said quietly. 

he only glared at you. “y/n, you must be fucking with me.” he said suddenly, catching you off guard. “how many times do i have to say no? it’s been too long. don’t you know how to give up? you’re so annoying honestly, get it through your brain. i’ll never teach you anything” those words hit you like a truck. especially because they came from tsukki. 

tears stung at your eyes and honestly, you were at a loss for words. you wanted to apologise and explain yourself but you couldn’t. a thought went through your head, ‘maybe it is annoying to constantly ask him for help..’ 

you muttered a “sorry” before quickly returning to your seat, not to mention that yamaguchi was quite shocked too and gave you an apologetic smile. you felt extremely embarrassed he just said that in front of the whole class. a few minutes later, you excused yourself from class and ran to the bathroom just to fix yourself up. somehow, you were choking on your tears.

it really shouldn’t have hurt you this much, but knowing you made tsukki dislike you even more just hit a different nerve. 

the next few days, you’ve been trying hard. but clearly not hard enough since you are still barely passing the revision. you were extremely disappointed in yourself since you did make an effort to learn but it simply wasn’t enough. you really wanted to apologise to tsukki but knew it would make things worse so you didn’t even try to talk to him. but you were hopeless, you just needed the explanation to the topic because you didn’t have anyone around you to ask. 

then you had an idea... the second top student named saiki came back from his trip. surely he’d help you just a little bit. you glance to your right, to where his desk was. and he did attend school! working up the courage to ask him, you turned to him. “welcome back.” and he smiled at you, waving at you. 

“how are your studies?” he said, resting his head on his palm. 

you groaned, “bad. i am literally hopeless at this. do you mind just explaining the parabola thing? i just don’t get it.” this caught the attention of many people around you. especially tsukki. your classmates suddenly thought it was weird you weren’t bugging tsukishima, maybe you have finally learnt your lesson. 

yamaguchi’s ears perked up as well, and suddenly everyone was lowkey trying to listen. “yeah!” and you smiled brightly. saiki moves his desk to get closer to you and he starts explaining the problem. at first it was confusing, but he tried to dumb it down for you as much as possible. you were seriously grateful because you understood most of it.

“thank you so much, jesus christ.” you sighed in relief. “so it opens downwards and the directrix is 2?” 

“yup. good job.” he pats you on the head. you smiled back. 

“wrong.” someone called out randomly, and you turned to your left to see it was tsukishima. “it’s 4.” he looked displeased. extremely.

saiki looked lost. “hm, i wonder where i made the error. do you mind explaning it to me then?” he asks tsukki.

his face darkened. “i do mind,,” and saiki just smiled awkwardly.

“y/n, it’s been a couple weeks. i’ll teach myself and i’ll get back to you later. is that fine with you?” saiki offered, returning his desk to the original position.

“yeah, thank you.” you grinned. you turned to your left again and saw tsukishima basically frowning.

why is he so rude today? what’s going on? is he okay? your head fills with random thoughts as you worry about him. 

the lesson seemed to go for hours and the heavy atmosphere between the two of you grew and it was excruciating. when you were finally dismissed, you had to stay back to clean the classroom. but you didn’t expect tsukki and yamaguchi to stay back too, considering they have club activities.

“hey yamaguchi, don’t you guys have club activities?” 

“yeah, we do but tsukki is on class duty. i’m about to leave soon.” he said sheepishly, grabbing his bag. 

so coincidentally you were on class duty with tsukishima. out of all days, you sighed heavily. 

you two were left in the class and he didn’t hesitate to start moving the desks. but you stood still, and stared at him. he was so pretty. 

heat rose to your cheeks as you recollected your thoughts and started packing up. it was an awkward silence as you two tidied the room. you were in the middle of wiping the board when he suddenly said, “open your textbook.” 

you were taken back. “what?” 

“you heard me.” he said bluntly. “open your textbook.”

“but why?” you stuttered a little bit.

“do you want me to teach you or not?” 

your face flushed. teach you? your mind blanked. “hnnn...” you couldn’t form coherent sentences “yes.. please.” 

he began to tutor you the study material. tsukki was obviously frustrated trying to teach you. it was like teaching a cat how to do dog tricks after all. you scratched your head at one question, still not getting it. 

you pursed your lips. it’s been 10 minutes and you’re not past the first half of the question. tsukki groans. “what you do is..” he explained it perfectly. but it went straight through your ears. you were too busy staring at his features, he was so close to you. 

this was the first time you realised how hard you fell for him, and tears pricked your eyes as your cheeks began to turn red. holy shit. i really like him. but chances are, i’m just a nobody to him. 

“y/n. are you even paying attention? this is why i didn’t wanna teach you.” he pinched his nose in stress. your heart sank. you didn’t want to inconvenience him any further.

“we can stop now, it’s getting late and you still have club activities right? i can buy you snacks tomorrow. thank you tsukishima.” you said with a sheepish smile. 

he furrowed his eyebrows. you just used his real name and not his nickname. he just found it odd how you wanted to stop so soon. you started packing up your things.

“it’s not even past 5. you need to learn this chapter.” he said abruptly. 

you stood up and grabbed your bag. “no, no seriously, it’s okay. i’ll just study tomorrow and-”

he grabbed your wrist and pulled you down. “and let you talk to saiki? no thanks.”

you were speechless once again, face red once more. “only i can teach you. understand?” he looks at you right in the eyes and all you wanted to do in that moment was to disappear. reluctantly, you nod. 

‎ ‏ ‐ ‑ ‒ – — ―

you can clearly tell my language is eu/au LMFAOO its the ‘surely’ for me GUYS COMMENT PLS ! I NEED INTERACTIONS 

[captaindodson]

7AM confessions (t.h oneshot)

Synopsis: You just finished working a graveyard shift at your summer job. Just as you’re about to get into your car to leave to sleep the weekend away, a familiar face appears to confront you on what happened. 

Paring: Tom Holland x Gender Neutral!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k+ 

Warnings: Angsty (?), Swearings??

Once your apple watch displayed 7 AM you knew the long week you had was finally over. The assembly line filled with car parts ready for inspection remain still and untouched as everyone switches off with the next group of shift workers who are already coming onto the floor. Luckly, its Friday, so you get to sleep the weekend away and reset your sleep schedule for your last week of shifts before the fall semester starts. You tidy up your small station and when you think you’ve done enough you turn around to leave and then you see your co-worker/work friend Raj approaching. You both wear matching white hard hats, blue gloves, white jackets, dark blue work pants, and brown steal toed boots.

“Hey, how was this morning,” Raj stops a few feet away and raises his hand to fist bump and you happily reciprocate before sliding your hands into your jacket pockets.

“It wasn’t a bad night, Lauren didn’t come in tonight cause she was sick with a stomach bug. Oh I did finally registered for my university courses during my break, and I got so lucky with my extra circulars.The moment I went to register there was only one spot left for the ones I wanted.”

Raj just nods and glances around the work station, inspecting to see you cleaned it to his standard. You notice his wandering eyes but you aren’t bothered by it. You’ve been in that position where you have to work a long eight hours on your feet and the person before you at your assigned station leaves it a mess and you’re stuck cleaning it for the first hour of your shift. So after he finishes inspecting he meets your eyes and nods in approval.

“Oh shit really? I should probably do that sooner rather than later. I’ve been going to university for three years and I almost always forget every time  to register on time,” He replies.

“Don’t you have your final research seminar and reading seminar this year? I thought certain classes had a small capacity?”

“Oh. Well guess what I’m doing during my lunch break,”

You lightly laugh at him as the sound of a warning buzzer echoing through the factory floor goes off. You look around and see that most, if not all of your night shift people are already off the floor and you take this as your cue to leave.

“Anyway, talk to you later Raj,” he gives you small smile in response and steps around you to get started. You make your way off the floor and to your designated locker, providing some of the people from dayshift a warm smile as you walk past them.

You walk through a pair of white double doors which leads into a a bright baby blue hallway which eventually guides you to where the designated bathrooms are with the lockers. When you get to the end of the hall you turn left and head into the female washroom where the you’re met with an empty room. Usually, when everyone’s shift ends they’re rushing to get out (and you’re no exception). You would normally find yourself squeezing by people and dodging elbows trying to get to your locker but today is different. Staying behind for an extra few minutes to talk actually lets you take your time for once. By taking your time it also means the parking lot won’t be backed up as usual and you can drive home without any major delay to sleep your weekend away. That’s the only thing you have to look foreward to, your bed because there is no one at home, no roomates, no pets, no boyfriends, no nothing. The place you were at two months ago was totally different from where you are now. You lived abroad in London with your then boyfriend for six months until you broke it off because you were lost. 

You had to get out because your identity slowly became tightly intertwined with the person you were with. Everything revolved around them and their job and you were going no where in life. Your dreams were pushed to the back of your mind as you stayed in fancy hotel suites, alone waiting for your ex-boyfriend to come back from an exhausted day on set to only desperately try to keep his eyes open when you two watched a movie or went out for a night on the town.

He really did try his best to make your time with him exciting even if he was burn out from working all day. He made small dates in your hotel room feel magical. He had your hotel room decorated in fairy lights and planned a romantic dinner looking over the city you two stayed in. He made love to you in the early hours of the morning to the organy rays of the morning sun. Or another time, when he wasn’t allowed to leave the hotel at all, he took you to the hotel roof to slow dance under the stars to music playing from that headphones you two shared. You’d pay a million dollars to experience these small moments over and over again.

Over a weekend back in London by yourself while Tom had to catch a flight last minute to do film re-shoots in LA, you decided to have a self-care night.  After lighting some candles, ordering take-out, dimming the lights, and scrolling through Netflix to finally find a good-feel show, you finally sit comfortably on the couch and relax. You found a generic rom-com from the 2000’s that looked mildly interesting and even if the plot wasn’t any good you could still get a good laugh about it.

As the movie progresses and the main character struggles to choose between a boy and her dream job you find your mind slowly loosing focus with what is happening on the screen and  reflecting it back into your own life. After a few seconds pondering you realize something,  had no idea what you wanted to do. You were in your early twenties, you were doing school part-time online with a program you liked but you spent most of your time with Tom. Traveling to country to country to join him while he filmed, staying in hotel rooms waiting for him, sometime visiting set when you were allowed too, it was truly an exciting and calming lifestyle.

Even though you believed you finally found the guy that you could spend the rest of your life with, a second family you got along with, a place you could see yourself settling down in, you didn’t have anything for yourself. When you thought you of trying to return to in-class schooling with a larger course load and renting a place for the semester and trying to sustain a long-distant relationship with someone in the limelight, it just stressed you out. You knew it wouldn’t be easy and just seeing how deflated Tom looked when he returned to you after working, you knew the relationship would push him to his limits.

Even after initiate moments you realized how tired and over worked he was. The look in his eyes when he had to leave for work the next morning couldn’t go unnoticed.  You felt your heart squeezing itself and your breathing became heavier. You would never want to cause Tom any pain on your behalf, and you can’t continue to drag your feet with your education because you felt like you . So, you did what you did best, shut someone out and leave. You made up lie about how this relationship wasn’t working on your end, broke it off and flew back to the town where you had been attending school online. Scrambling enough money together to buy a used car and a small studio apartment and apply to as many jobs as you could. You got lucky, that when you were applying that a car factory needed more summer students and they were paying their workers a decent living wage and you just jumped on it. The job helped you get settled but it also helped ignore the small amount of regret you felt. It is too late to turn around now and now you must live with your choices. 

You shake yourself out of a daze you didn’t realize clouded your mind, and it seems your feet have carried you to the front of your small grey locker. It looks like what all typical high school lockers look except half the size. You raise your hand to the lock to do one full twist to the right, one full twist to the left, and half a twist to the right again and my the lock pops off with a light pull.

You reach in to collect your phone, black spring jacket, dark blue water bottle, then you reach into your jacket pocket to fish out your car keys. You hum in satisfaction when you feel the cool metal of your keys in your pocket. You drape your jacket over your arm as you shut the locker quietly and slide the lock over the hook and push it shut. You proceed to continue to follow the baby blue hallways until you’ve reached the double glass doors of the exit. You push open the glass door and is met with a cool morning breeze also paired with a peach colored sky.

You make your way across the concrete of the parking lot, following the line of different coloured cars parked next to each other, eyes wandering at the different licence plates, soaking up the calmness of the morning sun until you stop dead in your tracks. You look up to see someone leaning on the hood of your car. This person is dressed in some blue jeans, a black hoodie, dark red hat, and it seems they’re just casually looking down and scrolling through their phone unaware of your presence a couple feet away. You think for a minute before speaking, should you just walk back inside and get someone to confront this guy or should you just do it yourself? I mean it is your car in a private parking lot, someone will hear you scream right? After a few seconds go by you just say fuck as the longer you stand here the less time you get to spend sleeping. 

“Ah hem, excuse me you’re leaning on my car. Can you please get off,”

You keep your distance and tightly grip your waterbottle. Just so you have a head start if you need run back into the factory or even defend yourself. Their fingers stop scrolling, but their gaze is still facing downwards, hood and hat hiding their features.

“Uh hello, you need to get out of this parking lot its a private. Ill call security if you don’t move, ”

You shallow nervously as the figure stays still, unresponsive. When it seems like this figure is just going to continue to ignore you they stand up abruptly causing you to jump.

“Hi Y/N,’ An english accent comes out from the hood and your expression changes from fear to dread in seconds. Heart still pumping fast in your chest and you feel yourself getting even more nervous. 

“What are you doing here, Tom”, You cross your arms the best you can and start staring at your feet to avoid eye contact.

“Can’t I come visit my girlfriend after she finishes work,” Tom questions as his foots steps get louder as they get closer.

“I am not your girlfriend remember.  Besides the point, how do you even know where to find me. I haven’t talked to you in two months.”

‘You left without a much of explanation. You said when I came home from LA that this was over because you couldn’t handle this relationship, it stressed you out to much. I thought everything was going good mutually good in all aspects of the relationship, but I guess I was wrong. After months of trying to unravel what I could have possible done wrong, I just had to find you and get the truth of why you left,”

He ignores your question as he bends his knees to try and get a look at your face. Your mind almost speeds up, unable to come up with a good enough half-assed response, you mouth blurts out the truth without much thought.

“I love that you’re able to pursue your dreams, and god Tom I wouldn’t want you to do anything to compromise that. But I want to be able to pursue my dreams too Tom. The only way I can do that is if I leave and doing a long-distant relationship hardly ever works out for anybody! I don’t want you wearing yourself out because of me and being long-distance was going to tear you apart,”

You sniffle away the tears building up in your eyes while focusing on the curves on the concrete.

“Darling, why didn’t you just talk to me? I would and do understand if you want to pursue something on your own. I would never want to settle for anything less.  “

He reaches out a finger to find a place under your chin to lift your head gently so your eyes will meet. You glossy eyes meet his soft, gentle brown eyes and that alone makes you want to cry. You never meant to cause pain to reach those eyes, you just thought you were doing yourselves a favour.

“Baby, we could’ve done this together you know that. We would’ve never survived our first year together if we didn’t talk stuff out. Trying to make a relationship work with a person I’ve loved since our first date is worth the endless amount of stress life causes. Y/N, my darling, I would do anything to make you happy but also stay in my arms forever,”

His soft tone makes your knees weak and that is when the dam of tears breaks from your eyes and they flow down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I-I just thought I was doing the right thing for both of us. I was watching a movie and I started stressing my sell-out and just thinking for myself .I’m sorry I put you through this, I know I can’t turn back time, but please forgive me for causing you any pain because my love for you got me all fucked up, “ You say trying wipe away the salty tears dripping down your face. 

“I’m not mad nor am I upset with you. I’m just glad I can have you back in my life again.”

Tom smiles even bright as he pulls lightly on the hand he has a hold of to drag your body over to his. He embraces you into his warmth and your body curls into him and all you can think is there is no place you’d rather be.

“Now, why don’t we go back to your place and catch up on some sleep huh? Then you can give me tour around your new place and make up for lost time,”

He hums into your hair as you pull back from his embrace to look up, wiping your eyes with your sleeve to look at Tom more clearly.

“Yeah, I’d like that”.

[kpophours]

The Shape of You

➵ The Boyz: Sunwoo x fem. reader / one shot, soulmate AU, college AU / fluff

➵ warnings: slight cursing

➵ word count: 2.8k

You curse under your breath, dragging the pencil over the paper in front of you, adding two more lines to your drawing. Your fingers begin to cramp, but you try to push through the slight pain, desperate to finish this today. Suddenly, your door bursts open, making you jump and squeal, pencil falling from your hand. You quickly scan your drawing and sigh in relief when you see you didn’t mess it up. You swivel in your chair to glare at your roommate and best friend, the person responsible for giving you a miniature heart attack, but her bright smile makes you soften immediately. “I made dinner!”, she says, wiping her hands on the pink apron she’s wearing, the bold red lettering reading ‘don’t judge, I’m not a professional cook’ - you gave it to her last Christmas, and it makes you smile every time you see it, the quote an inside joke between you two, “I already called you a few times but I guess you’ve been too absorbed in your work.” You return her smile and nod. “Yeah, sorry. I really want to finish this tonight.”, you explain, and she crosses the room to peer over your shoulder, her eyes taking in the soft lines and dark shadows of your drawing, “What- no, who is that? Is that… Is that him?”, Hannah asks, and tilts her head to one side. You shrug, cheeks heating up. “Yeah, that’s the face I’ve been seeing in my dreams. It has been less blurry these last few nights, and I can finally remember more details.”, you murmur, fingers gently tracing the outlines of the face you’ve been trying to draw.

A sharp jawline, dark hair falling into incredibly big, deep eyes. You’ve been seeing small glimpses of this face in your dreams for years now - not every night, but more often than not. During most of those nights nights, his face has been turned away from you, sometimes you had been able to see glimpses of his profile, or just his smile - but most mornings, the details had quickly faded from your memory again. The boy of your dreams - and you don’t mean this in a sappy, corny way, but quite literally - has been haunting you in blurred lines and vague shapes for half your life now. But this morning, it’s finally been different, this morning you were able to recall his beautiful big eyes, deep with warmth and mischief. The rest of the face is still blurry, but you have the feeling you’ll soon be able to recall more and more details.

“I’m still glad my soulmate tell was so much easier than yours.”, your best friend says, her hand coming to rest on your shoulder. You smile up at her, tracing the tattoo on the inside of her wrist. You know the same one is gracing the wrist of her soulmate and boyfriend Chanyeol. They were lucky enough to find each other during their first week of college, after they quite literally ran into each other - Hannah spilling her coffee all over Chanyeol’s favorite shirt. You still remember how your best friend had come home that night, eyes shining, cheeks bright, her smile never leaving her face. Till this day, you still don’t fully comprehend how utterly perfect her and Chanyeol are for each other - even though you shouldn’t be surprised, soulmates usually make perfect couples. Of course not everyone always finds their soulmate - some also have “normal” relationships. Some meet their soulmates only very late in life, some very early on. It’s different for everyone - just like the soulmate tells are different for each person. But Hannah’s right, matching tattoos are way easier to figure out than seeing each other in dreams, especially when the dreams fade way too quickly in the morning, or the person you’re supposed to see is just a vague, blurry shape. 

“I hope I’ll be able to remember more of his face from now on. Maybe this means he’s… he’s closer to me now?”, you say, trying not to sound too hopeful. Hannah squeezes your shoulder. “I’m sure it does. Come on, let’s eat now - I made your favorite tonight.”, she answers gently, and you immediately jump up. “Why didn’t you say so?”, you tease her, and she laughs, following you out of your room and into the kitchen. 

As soon as you open your eyes, you reach towards your nightstand to grab the notebook and pencil you placed there last evening. This morning, you’re finally able to remember the exact curve of his smile, so you scribble frantically, trying to fit the bright smile into the drawing you began yesterday evening. The face is still incomplete, half in shadow and too blurry to make out every detail. You don’t know if you’ve managed to capture the exact shape of his chin yet, and his eyebrows - are they maybe a bit fuller? You groan, and fall back into your pillows, blowing some of your hair out of your face. “Why are you always disappearing again?”, you muse silently, and close your eyes, desperately trying to remember the exact shape of his face. What shade of tan is his skin, exactly? And his hair - you’re not sure if it’s black or brown. Maybe it’s even a bit reddish? 

The more you try to remember, the more his face seems to disappear again, the details slipping away from your grasp.

You only remember his deep eyes, and his bright smile.

But one thing you know for sure - he’s ridiculously handsome. 

The rest, it seems, has to wait for another morning. 

Over the next few weeks, you begin to recall more and more details of your soulmate’s face. The exact brown of his eyes, for example. His hair is a faded red, probably dyed. His nose looks extremely boopable, you think. His smile makes your heart race, and one morning, you wake up with his laugh still ringing in your ear. 

Your drawing gets more detailed with every passing day, until one evening, you have finally managed to draw a complete face. 

You were right - he’s handsome, incredibly so. In your drawing, he’s smiling, but by now you’re also able to recall how his face looks when he’s not smiling. You grin, noting that both of you seem to have a serious case of the so-called “resting bitch face”. “Truly meant to be, huh.”, you murmur, adding a few more shadows around his jawline, until you’re pleased with the final result. You take a sip of the tea Hannah has brought you over an hour ago, it’s cold by now, but you still drink it. Just then, there’s a knock on your door, and you make a “Mh?” under your breath, letting the person outside know it’s okay to come in. Chanyeol sticks his head through the doorframe, dark hair falling messily into his brown puppy eyes. He gives you a happy smile which you immediately return. “Hey there! Hannah and I are about to make pancakes, you want some, too?”, he asks, and you chuckle. “Hannah and you, huh? I think you mean only Hannah is going to make pancakes. You’re almost as much of a mess in the kitchen as I am, Yeol.”, you retort, and he ducks his head. “Uh, maybe. I might help with the batter though - just no cracking eggs for me, you know how that turned out last time.”, he admits, and you make a disgusted face when you recall the taste of eggshell in your otherwise yummy pancakes, “Anyway, you want some or not?”, he inquires again, and you nod. “I’ll never say no to Hannah’s pancakes. I’ll be there in a second.”, you answer, and he gives you the thumbs up before closing the door again. You sigh and gaze at your drawing again. “Who and where are you, dream boy?”, you murmur, before stuffing the drawing back into your sketchbook, finally joining Hannah and Chanyeol in the kitchen.

The next few days pass without anything exciting happening, and before you know it, school is starting again. You usually dislike the first day of class, everything is unfamiliar again, and you always get lost on your way to find the right buildings and rooms, but weirdly enough, today is different - everything goes smoothly, and you even have time to get yourself a tea on your way to your first class. You find a good seat not too far in the back, but also not too close to the teacher, and begin to unpack your notebook and pencils. You rarely take notes on your laptop, preferring to do so in a real notebook as you find the scratching of your pen on paper weirdly calming. You also love to doodle when you don’t take notes, and that’s much more fun to do on paper as well.

Over the next few minutes, more and more students begin to file into the classroom, and for some reason, you suddenly feel kind of giddy, nervously bouncing your leg while gnawing on your lower lip. Soon, the teacher gives his introduction, and begins to talk about this semester’s syllabus. About halfway through the class, there’s a small commotion when the door opens again, and a very late student slips inside the classroom. When you turn around to see who’s making all the fuss, you only see the back of his head - his hair is a faded reddish color, definitely dyed. For a second, the shape of the person seems oddly familiar… But then, you just shake your head, a small smile playing on your lips when you think about all the crazy hair colors you’ve had over the past few years, until Hannah basically forced you to give your scalp a rest. “You’ll go bald if you don’t!” Seeing the faded red color now, you kinda miss your own colorful looks. Mhm, maybe you could at least get some bangs soon.

The rest of the class passes rather quickly, and a glance at the watch says you have almost an entire hour until your next lecture begins. You text Hannah, asking how her first class went and if she’s free right now. She answers quickly, saying she’s already on the way to her next lecture but that you guys can grab lunch together. Occupied with answering her, you don’t notice that the person in front of you has come to a sudden halt. You squeal when you run into a broad back, dropping your phone to the floor, the sound of the screen landing on the hard concrete almost deafening in your ears. “Oh fuck.”, you mutter under your breath, praying to whatever God or Goddess is listening that your screen isn’t cracked - you definitely don’t have the money to get it fixed. Thankfully, the case seems to have protected your phone from the worst. You exhale, relieved, before straightening and getting ready to tell off the person responsible for this accident. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don’t text and walk at the same time.”, a male voice says, sarcasm lacing his words, and you look up to glare at him. 

The second you lay eyes on him though, your heart just stops for a few seconds, before beginning to race again, hammering against your rib cage.

You silently gape at the boy in front of you, taking in the red dyed hair hanging messily into deep dark eyes. His lips are pulled into a cocky grin, his head tilted to one side, showing off his sharp jawline, arms crossed over his chest, a backpack slung over one shoulder. 

Oh how often have you drawn that face by now. 

You know the exact curve of his lips, plump and rosy and almost a bit too kissable for your liking, and by now, you know way too well how your fingers always itch to brush his too long hair out of eyes that seem to hold all the stars and galaxies in them. 

“You.”, you breathe out, and it seems that he finally recognizes you too, as his eyes get even bigger and the cocky grin slips from his face, replaced by an awe-filled smile. “Oh my God - it’s you! You’ve… you’ve been in all my dreams.”, he says in a rush, just when you open your mouth to say the same. A giddy smile splits open your face, and you nod excitedly. “Just as you’ve been in mine.”, you answer, breathlessly, and like two magnets being pulled towards each other, you both take a step closer. “I’m Sunwoo.”, he introduces himself, sounding a bit breathless himself, before he holds out his hand for you to take. You accept his handshake, feeling electricity shoot through your whole body when your skin makes contact with his for the first time. “I’m Y/N, it’s nice to finally see you - really see you, that is.” When he smiles at you in earnest this time, you swear your heart stops again, before beginning to race twice as fast as before. “Well, I think I already have a favorite class this semester.”, Sunwoo murmurs, unconsciously tugging you closer to him, your hand still securely held in his. “I think so, too.”, you answer, and return his smile while looking at him, drowning in his deep, sparkling eyes. He cups one side of your face with his other hand, brushing some of your hair back behind your ear. “I’ve waited so long for you.”, he whispers, and you feel your throat close up at his words. “Me too.”, you answer, and slide both arms around his waist. He sighs, returning your hug and placing his chin on top of your head. You listen to his quick heartbeat, mirroring your own racing one, noticing how normal and right it already feels to touch him.

You just fit - like two puzzle pieces, finally put together again. 

The fateful day you met your soulmate for the first time would forever be engraved into your mind.

Since then, Sunwoo’s hair had gone through some changes - he had redyed it red for the first few months, until it had faded to a soft brown again, and then he decided to just go back to black. You had asked him once to dye it a bright pink, but he had just given you a funny look, shaking his head before continuing to watch your favorite movie - The Cat in the Hat, your choice for this week’s movie night. A few days later, you yourself had dyed your hair a bright pink, almost giving Hannah a heart attack when you opened the door to her room. 

Over the next few years, there were many amazing first experiences you shared with Sunwoo - your first dinner together (Hannah had been so nice to cook for you guys because apparently, you didn’t only share the resting bitch face, but also the inability to cook anything edible), your first kiss (yes, Sunwoo’s lips felt just as amazing as they looked), the first night spent with each other (you had talked about literally everything and anything until the first rays of sunshine had crept into your bedroom), your first holiday as a couple (a road trip gone horribly wrong, with you guys having to spend the night in the car because one of you (you were pretty sure it was Sunwoo’s fault) had typed in the wrong address into the navigation system), your first big fight (now you don’t even remember what it was about, but you had both sulked for two days until making up, the longest you had ever gone without speaking to each other), your first encounter with each other’s families (teasing Sunwoo about his younger sister being taller than him had quickly become one of your favorite hobbies) and finally, your first apartment together (it was a teeny tiny flat, but you filled it with many beautiful memories).

You knew that many more first experiences were still waiting for you - like adopting some pets together (you were already looking at cute kittens), and maybe a wedding one day (you had to admit, after attending Hannah and Chanyeol’s wedding and crying buckets when they said their vows, you weren’t as opposed to the concept of marriage anymore), and probably also having a family of your own together - one day, in the still far away future. 

You couldn’t wait to share the rest of your life with your other half, your soulmate, the person you called your home - and you knew that Sunwoo felt the exact same way.

for my light, my love, my Summer @sunmoonieverse​ 💞

[masterlist] | [requests] 

[dripkingpetey]

bestfriends forever-b.boeser

oh god here i am once again with a brock fic😐 i’ll be trying to do the requests that i’ve been getting over the weekend but please don’t get mad at me if i don’t end up getting to them. oh also! the flashbacks are in italics just an fyi!

brock boeser x oc!

2436 words

“Come play hockey with me Kyia!” Brock exclaimed at his bestfriend from his bedroom window over to hers, they were next door neighbours, with the windows in their respective bedrooms facing each other.

Kyia still remembers it like yesterday, Brock always asking her to play or hangout with him. Except right now, Kyia was in her car crying, she had just dropped off her bestfriend at the airport and he was heading to Vancouver. Obviously she was happy about Brock going to the NHL with the Vancouver Canucks, she didn’t want to leave him though. Brock and Kyia have been bestfriends even before they were born, with their mothers being bestfriends. They have never had to be separated before, even when Brock went to college for hockey, she ended up getting accepted into the same university. 

It took awhile for Kyia to stop crying but when she did, she started driving home, thinking about all of the memories with Brock even though it was likely that she would see him in a couple of weeks. She started playing her and Brocks playlist, they had started it when Brock got his first iPod after a hockey tournament when they were 9.

“Kyia! Come over I have something to show you.” Brock waved his arms furiously to get Kyia to hurry up. “Okay, okay I’ll be over in a sec.” Kyia giggled at how excited Brock was, slipping on her shoes before making her way over to Brocks house.

“Look it’s got all of these cool songs that we can make playlists with too.” Brock exclaimed enthusiastically as he hooked the iPod up to their family computer, making a playlist title ‘Kyia and Brocks swag times’ which was quickly denied by Kyia and changed to ‘Brock and Ky’s playlist’. “You’re boring you know that right?” Brock mumbled. “Yeah but you couldn’t live without me.” Kyia grinned at Brock as they searched up all of their favourite songs to add. 

Though that playlist has had many different versions for each year, they always put every song into the original playlist, making the total amount of songs over 1000. 

Brock had sent a snap to Kyia almost as soon as she got home, it was almost like he knew. Kyia opened it and it was a photo of Brock smiling with a heart emoji in the text bar. It wasn't unusual for Brock and Kyia to be saying I love you and stuff to each other, they’ve always said it and it would be weird for them to stop. Kyia didn’t want Brock to see that she was crying even though he knew, she responded to him with a text that said. “I miss you so much already, how was the flight?” Knowing that Brock had already taken off and wouldn’t see the text till he landed in Vancouver.

“Did you have a fun day?” Kyia asked over FaceTime to Brock, he was in his hotel room in Vancouver, getting ready for the start of training camp. “Yeah, traveling was exhausting but I got to meet some of the guys on the team today and they’re all really nice.” Brock smiled at you, the same beaming smile that could always cheer you up whenever you felt down. “That’s good.” Kyia said, not knowing if she should really tell Brock how she was feeling. “You should go to bed, it’s getting pretty late in Minnesota.” Brock said while running his fingers through his hair, referring to the 2 hour time difference between Vancouver and Minnesota. “I guess you’re right.” She mumbled, wanting to be with her bestfriend right now. “Ky, I miss you too. We can see each other soon, if I make the roster after training camp. You can fly to Vancouver with my parents for my first game.” Brock tried to make you feel better even though he missed you even more. “I guess, goodnight I love you.” Kyia said even though she didn’t want to end the call which resulted in Brock having to hang up after he said goodnight as well. 

-

It was hard on both Brock and Kyia, not being able to see each other almost everyday. Brock was focused on training for the upcoming season and Kyia had been busy with all of the school work she had, which all resulted in Brock and Kyia barely talking for two weeks, not to mention that the time difference made it even harder.

“I made it! I made the roster!” Brock exclaimed over the phone to Kyia which reminded her of when he made the roster for UND’s hockey team.

Brock rushed right to Kyia’s dorm room, knocking quickly as she got up to answer it and she was met by a big grin on Brocks face which quickly turned into him pulling Kyia into a tight hug. “I made the team.” Brock exclaimed, she was the first person he told after he found out. “You did it!!” Kyia was proud of him, she knew how hard he had been working for a spot there and he did it.

“You did it!” The same words came out of Kyia’s mouth as she teared up in happiness for him. “Holy fuck, you did it Brock.” There was a giant grin on Kyia’s face and she was sure Brock did too. “Yeah, I can’t believe it too.” Brock sighed along with a light chuckle. “Okay I gotta go tell my parents, do you want to FaceTime later?” 

“Wait, I’m the first person you told?” Kyia had expected that Brock would tell his parents first and her after. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I tell my bestfriend first?” Brock smiled even though she couldn’t see. “Awh, I love you, go tell your parents.” Even though Kyia knew it, it was still nice to hear that Brock was her bestfriend. “I love you too, you might want to start booking the plane tickets.” Brock joked but that’s exactly what she did, Kyia rushed to her computer to look at flights after he hung up. 

-

It was all-star break and Brock hadn’t been home in Minnesota for weeks, so he took advantage of that. Despite going back to Minnesota for Christmas, he was already missing it there, especially Kyia. “What are you up to?” Brock asked over FaceTime to her while sitting in his old truck he had in Minnesota. “Not much, just planning to sit around in bed all day.” Kyia mumbled. Brock being all the way in Vancouver was much harder than she thought it was going to be, it sucked to not see him and it was taking a toll on her mental health. “Fuck I gotta go, me and Petey are going out for lunch. Talk to you later?” Brock lied, knowing his plan was all coming together. “You know where I’ll be.” Kyia sighed while taking a sip of water. “Love you, I’ll talk to you later.” They both said at the same time.

Brock almost started giggling because that’s how excited he was to see Kyia. Her parents already knew so hey let him slide into their house, moving quietly before opening Kyia’s door to surprise her. “I’m home!” He exclaimed but quickly furrowed his eyebrows together when he saw Kyia crying, she didn’t even realize Brock was in her room till he started speaking. “Are you okay?” Brock said quietly, hugging Kyia while she was laying on her bed. “No, but I’m better now that you’re here.” She mumbled with a slight smile at Brock, she was crying about him, about how much she missed him and wish he never went to Vancouver. “I missed you.” Kyia laughed while turning around so she could give her bestfriend a proper hug. “I missed you even more Ky.” Brock chuckled as he tucked the loose strands of Kyia’s hair behind her ear. 

Brock would be lying if he said that he didn’t want to kiss Kyia right in that moment, with their faces inches away, looking at Kyia’s beautiful smile, their faces getting closer and closer like two magnets. But he knew he couldn’t do it, he would chicken out.

For the next three days, Kyia seemed like she had been brought back to life. The sad, Brock missing Kyia was gone, it was like Kyia was herself again. 

“She’s so much happier when she’s with you, you know? It’s been tough for her for the past couple of months.” Brocks mom, Laurie said quietly to him as they watch Kyia play with his dogs. Brock didn’t know what to do, all he could do was sigh, sigh and worry about how Kyia was going to be when he goes back to Vancouver and Kyia would be here by herself again. “Brock?” Laurie asked, trying to get his attention off of Kyia. “Yeah mom?” Brock quickly snapped out of it. “You know that she’s in love with you right? And I think you feel the same way.”

“But-” Brock tried to say something but quickly got cut off by his mother. “But we’ve been bestfriends forever.” Laurie mocked Brocks voice as he slumped down into his chair. “I know the two of you have never confessed it, you probably don’t even know that you’re in love with her. But I can see it.” Laurie said as she looked at Brock who was lost in his thoughts, staring at Kyia as he took Lauries words in. “Maybe I am.” He mumbled quietly and Laurie laughed. “I’ll leave it up to you two.” Laurie sighed, getting up and patting Brocks knee as she headed into the kitchen. 

It was the night before Brock had to fly back to Vancouver and Brock and Kyia had to spend every last moment together, before he had to go back for god knows how long. “I’m gonna miss you.” Kyia mumbled and pouted, she was laying on her bed on top of Brocks chest, tracing little circles on his chest with her fingers while he played with her hair. “Me too Ky, me too.” Brock sighed, closing his eyes so he doesn’t start tearing up. 

“What if you went to Vancouver with me?” Brock asked while him and Kyia were both half asleep. “Just for like a week or two.” Brock quickly added, hoping she would say yes.

“I could.” Kyia mumbled, looking up at Brock who was smiling at her. “All of my classes are online this semester anyways.” Kyia said as she watched Brocks face light up even more. “This is gonna be so fun.” Brock chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

It was a couple of days after Kyia and Brock got to Vancouver, Brock tried to show her around to get Kyia used to the surroundings. “Hey, do you mind if a couple of the guys come over for drinks later? They said that they wanted to meet you today while we were at practice.” Brock asked while looking over to see what she was doing, chuckling when he saw that she was playing with Milo and Coolie once again. “Yeah, I just gotta get ready though.” Kyia looked over to smile at Brock, she didn’t want to admit it but she was falling hard for him, those feelings have always been there but being in Vancouver with him for some reason just fuelled it. 

“Ah yes, so this is the lovely Kyia we always hear about.” Jake smiled at you before introducing himself. “So you talk about me huh?” Kyia raised an eyebrow playfully and everyone watched Brocks face turn into a light shade of red. “He never stops talking about you.” A tall blonde swede who she later learned was Elias, sighed with a chuckle before getting a little punch from Brock. 

“So, who wants some drinks?” Brock said quickly, trying to steer the conversation to a different topic. “You know what I want.” Kyia smiled as Brock went over to the kitchen to make her drink as well as grabbing a couple of beers for Elias and Jake.

Kyia learned a lot about what Brock was like on the ice and in Vancouver, not that he was any different than normally, it was just fun to hear the stories of him in Vancouver.

Elias and Jake had headed home, leaving a tipsy Brock and a drunk Kyia alone. “I love it here with you.” Kyia smiled as she heard those words come out of Brocks mouth. “Me too.” Kyia slurred while sitting closer to Brock, snuggling her head into his chest as he rubbed his thumb along her waist.

“I really missed seeing you everyday.” Kyia mumbled and pouted at Brock. Their faces were inches apart once again, and both Brock and Kyia were fighting the urge to just kiss each other. “Can I kiss you?” Brock asked quietly, cupping his spare hand onto Kyia’s bright red cheeks. “Yeah.” Kyia said with a smile before Brock pulled himself closer to her, kissing Kyia softly as she returned the favour. Neither of them said anything after they pulled away, they just sat there and cuddled till Brock had the guts to say something. “I love you.” Brock mumbled, expecting Kyia to be asleep. “I love you too, not as friends, more than that.” Kyia said softly as she looked up to see Brock smiling at her. “Me too.”

-

Brocks favourite thing to do in the off-season was going back to Minnesota and spending everyday on the lake and that’s what was happening right now.

“Hey.” Brock grinned while sitting down next to Kyia. “How many beers did you have?” Kyia sighed, quickly folding down the corner of the page she was reading and placed her book down so she could pay attention to Brock. “A couple.” 

Brock leaned his face right up to Kyia’s and kissed her face over and over again before whispering some nonsense as she giggled and smelt the alcohol in his breath. “I love you too Brock.” Kyia quickly pecked his lips before he rested his head on her chest. “What if we got married?” Brock mumbled, not expecting Kyia to hear it even though he wanted her to. Kyia didn’t know what to say, she knew that Brock was the one but she didn’t know if he truly meant it or he was just drunk. “Actually?” Kyia questioned and Brock lifted his head up to look at her. “Yeah.” Brock grinned because that’s all he knew what to do. “One day,” Kyia smiled as Brock laid his head back down on his chest and she played with his blonde hair.