#I’ve never felt so creatively inspired in my life. I’m so happy

[elinbean]

a win for tortured writers and haunted artists everywhere

[more-better-words]

Alright, one and all, strap in. It's time for M. B. Words to engage in self-congratulation (and self-promotion) of the most SHAMELESS variety.

The past few years hadn't been the greatest for me in terms of creative output - one series petered out, the inspiration fading, and another that I began started strong, but I soon found myself overwhelmed by the scale of the challenge I'd created for myself. Then came Enterprise, and (more specifically) Trip and T'Pol.

I've been a star Trek fan my entire life, but I'd never found myself compelled to write fic for it. And I've told this part of the story before - how the end of ENT and the utter hatchet job that was TATV made me want to give Trip and T'Pol something better than what the show had.

"I'll just write this little post-Terra Prime thing - few thousand words - and get it out of my system," I said.

Dear reader, this is not what occurred.

Part of it was the incredibly kind and supportive encouragement I received from the fandom, and more than that, for the first time in a while, I felt like I had a story to tell. A story that just kept growing.

So instead of a one-off, it turned into a series, and in the course of 2023, I've published work that I'm really proud of, and I'm not entirely sure what the alchemy is that's unlocked this for me, but it feels good to be creating and sharing, so I'm not going to question it.

That series, Built to Last, is comprised of the following:

From the Ground Up - 9.8k words, rated G. Post Terra Prime, Trip and T'Pol decide to give a relationship a shot. Surprise, surprise, it actually works.

What We Build Here - 22.7k words, rated G. The first six months of Trip and T'Pol's marriage, and their time on Earth, before the universe conspires against them.

For the Duration - 19.2k words, rated T. The Earth/Romulan War still happens in this timeline, sorry. (I may actually be proudest of this one, because I did some non-linear stuff that I think worked pretty well)

The Place We Call Home - ongoing, rated G. Babies and domestic bliss ahoy!

"But Words," you say, "Trip and T'Pol are super hot together. Have you written anything that caters to a...spicier palate?"

Funny you should ask! For most of my fic writing career, I’ve been a bit shy about writing sex scenes. But this autumn, driven by my ceaseless envy towards those who wrote them being oh-so-hot (you know who you are), I decided this was a challenge I needed to undertake for myself. I still haven’t written I’d rate E (maybe someday, I dunno), but I think I’m getting better at it!

Rounding the Bases

Mine

Intoxicants

I’ve also (ALSO!) posted some ficlets here on tumblr that I’ve collected over on AO3.

Scrapbook

Cinnamon Candy

tl;dr if you’ve stuck around this long - I’ve written a ton this year, and I’m happy about it, like really, genuinely pleased with it, and I hope you don’t mind me sharing it with all of you. Happy New Year.

[sunglassesmish]

i've been following you for your destiel and misha content for my destiel/spn sideblog, and i've known about 9-1-1 vaguely for years but never thought i'd be into it. now i have you to thank for making me a 9-1-1 girlie! if it weren't for you blogging about upcoming bi!buck i wouldn't have experienced the euphoria of it happening in realtime on tumblr! i honestly didn't think it was actually going to happen, but then i saw the kiss immediately went and watched the previous eps of season 7 and the lead-up was so good and 7x04 was SO GOOD!! and i love all the characters (hen and chim specifically aside from buck and tommy but really everyone has their appeal) so i'm definitely tempted to watch the previous 6 seasons for them not just for buck's backstory or for the buddie of it all, but i don't have the bandwith right now so i'm just absorbing everything from the previous seasons through osmosis on tumblr and the fics i read. but yeah. i can't begin to thankyou, seriously, the happenstance was perfect! i haven't felt this invigorated about media since one piece aired (still hoping for queer characters there), and before that it was our flag means death. i'm so excited to see buck's journey play out bc honestly i've been feeling weighed down and low about how dean never got to come out and destiel wasn't given the respect it deserved in the end. anyway, it's just so refreshing and inspiring to see more shows embrace and celebrate queer characters, specifically older male characters just realising that part of themselves. i love 9-1-1 for giving us this rep and hope it inspires other shows to do the same, to be open to evolving queer storylines for characters who have been "straight" for previous seasons (another one that comes to mind is jackson from teen wold, but that's another post, ha).

anyway! sorry for rambling, i just wanted to say thankyou for your blogging about 9-1-1/buck bc it has literally brightened my life and introduced me to not only a great show with great characters but another great cast and a truly talented creative fandom.

i know this is like way down in the message but i wanted to get it out of the way: JACKSON FROM TEEN WOLF!!! god that was so shocking to me as a longtime fan of the show. teen wolf was one of my first hyperfixations, i still have my stilinski lacrosse hoodie in my closet!! the reveal that he was dating one of those twins?!!! (i forget which one 😆). i was so happy…

anyways back to the main point. i am so so glad you’ve followed me from destiel and misha to 911, it truly is a pipeline many of us seem to go down. i noticed you in my notes a lot especially with my bucktommy posts (which have been pretty frequent tbh, they’re addicting to talk about 😵‍💫) so i was so surprised to hear you started watching just now!

experiencing the episode and the kiss live was what i imagine 15x18 would have been like but a bit more. well. happy? to watch buck finding a little bit of happiness and euphoria in discovering something he never knew he was missing. it was like nothing i’ve ever felt, and i’ve been living off the high since it happened. it really has been monumental in getting you excited in a piece of media, especially involving a BI MAN IN HIS MID 30’s!!!! it’s a piece of history, and we’re so lucky to have all the actors and writers and the showrunner who support it? including both lou and oliver who’ve been nothing but amazing and EXCITED about the kiss and bi buck. how lucky are we??!!

and what i’m loving even more is the people (like you) who found my blog and decided to start watching or following buck’s journey and related to it or found joy in it. it means so much to me and i’m just so grateful for the constant happiness this show gives me and others. the characters are all so special to me, obviously buck in particular. but i love how it’s truly an ensemble show and there’s so much representation and love clearly throughout, literally from the start with hen and karen.

after destiel and the end of spn, 911 is a breath of fresh air for me and i’m so glad it is for you as well. i totally get feeling down about them lately, i have too. i kinda jumped headfirst into earnestly 911 blogging and i have no regrets. glad you’re here with me!!!!

[duchessdepolignaca03]

Thanks @priincebutt for the tag! This is an open tag, because I don't want to tag anyone specifically as some of these questions are a little sketch, so the answers below are a little obtuse/long-winded. This was SUPER FUN though!

Are you named after anyone?

Yes - a pop star and a jewelry company/type of diamond cut. 

When was the last time you cried?

During Totality of the 2024 Solar Eclipse, genuinely one of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring moments of my life.  I was struck by the beauty of the corona which shimmered like diamonds in the sky, struck by perfect randomness of the universe that that gave us a sun that’s 400x bigger than the moon and 400x as far, creating the perfect symmetry to allow for a solar eclipse, and how this same random perfection gave me my daughter, loving husband and all the privileges I have in my life.

Hours before, I also shed frustrated and sad tears that my enjoyment of a fandom that has given me so much joy and creative inspiration has soured over being soundly, but unexpectedly, rejected. Frustrated and sad that I may have to bow out and give up something I thoroughly enjoyed giving my free labour to and through which I have made some wonderful friends that have buoyed me over the past year.  

Do you have kids?

See above.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I was never a sporty kid, but as an adult I discovered running, which has both been a lifeline and a source of endless frustration and pain. I’ve run a marathon, about a dozen half marathons,  innumerable 5ks and 10ks and kicked the butt of a 30k once in a winter storm. I can’t wait to rediscover running again and start my running journey from scratch.

Do you use sarcasm?

Not as much as I wish I would like. I’m not as spicy as I think I am, haha. 

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

How they are treating me, which tells me how they want to be treated back.

What’s your eye color?

Dark like my soul! You can hardly see my pupils, and its not because I’m high! 

Scary movies or happy endings comedies?

Neither! I love a good story, I love a drama. My favourite films recently have been films that felt simultaneously satisfying and unsatisfying at the same time. Both feature Paul Mescal (Aftersun and All of Us Strangers), and focus on parenthood and the relationships we have with the memories of our parents.

Any talents?

Not really? I suppose I have a talent for seeming more enthusiastic about things than I really am. 

Where were you born?

In a city in an archipelago in the Pacific Ocean. 

What are your hobbies?

Motherhood and full time job life doesn’t leave a lot of time for hobbies, but I l have love engaging in the RWRB fandom, and reading and writing and making some amazing friends. Before writing  and posting fanfiction, I did a lot of roleplaying on IJ, Tumblr and Discord. I enjoy broadway musicals and watching too much British television. I also love riding the Peloton and a good strength session!

Do you have any pets?

Yes. But I see you with this revealing security question, potential fraudster :P

How tall are you?

I grew up in poverty in a developing country, subsisting mostly on rice and coffee and white bread with mayonnaise (yes, mayonnaise), raised by a loving but chain-smoking mother. There was no hope for me to become taller than an oversized hobbit. Let’s just say my husband and I have to toggle the Peloton back and forth between the most extreme settings possible.

Favorite subject in school?

History and Politics. The great loves of my life, if its not already obvious.

Dream job?

My current job is nominally my dream job. However, I would like to serve a government that genuinely cares about the public, that thinks beyond myopic and cynical politics and actually wants to improve the lives of ordinary citizens, uplift the vulnerable, tax the shit out of the rich and - at minimum - not support genocide. 

[sapphirefallschronicles]

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 1 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: While Livia Darmandi lives in fast paced NYC, Abigail is still stuck in quiet Sapphire Falls.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: None.

A/N: Happy December 1st everyone 🥰 The first chapter of this story. We hope you like it!

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

I think I just broke up with my boyfriend. 

Not that I’m surprised or anything. Ian and I have broken up multiple times before back in the past, but deep down I always knew that it was inevitable for us to actually stay broken up. We always ended up back together.

However this really feels permanent.

Like there is nothing we can do to mend it. The words that were exchanged, the looks we gave one another, that felt like there was a definite end to our tumultuous relationship. 

I stare out of the window of my New York City apartment, looking over the busy streets. Tons of people going their merry way, maybe dealing with their own issues, maybe living on top of the world now. Whatever is going on in their minds, no one worries about my broken relationship. 

Just me. 

It feels so wrong to see that couple over there living their best life, while I’m wondering whether or not I am ever going to be happy again. 

I’ve lived in New York since I was seventeen. First in sleazy dorms, sharing it with other girls, then a studio with barely enough room to move my ass around and now in an apartment. It’s a well deserved growth I’ve gone through. Going to college for Creative Writing had been a dream of mine ever since high school. Stories are my world. Storytelling is all I’m capable of doing.

My hard work paid off, because at the age of twenty four, after working two side jobs to pay for the studio, I sent off my manuscript to a publishing house and got signed pretty fast afterwards. The book that originally started out as a standalone, quickly became a duology and the VERIFIED series hit the number three spot on the New York Times Bestselling list, an accomplishment I never expected to reach so soon. I realized how lucky I was. Going on book tour after book tour. Attending book conference after book conference. It was so wonderful and marvelous to be able to experience all of this, but mostly because I got to share it with someone.

And that someone was Ian. 

And now, my last book in the GAME OVER trilogy has been published and I’m empty. No inspiration, meaning no upcoming book, meaning no book conferences and tours. 

Why am I so drained? It feels so meaningless, because what is my life without stories? Stories are the one thing that have been serving as a constant throughout my life. Ian was never constant. Where I lived was never constant. My home when I was younger was never constant.

Me being an author was.

But now I’m an author with no inspiration.

In other words: I am a nothing. 

Mindlessly, I stroll around my apartment, hoping that something can distract me from my racing thoughts, me breaking up with Ian for real. I open the closet in my room, only to discover my very first suitcase, the one I bought in a town neighboring to my own hometown Sapphire Falls. Now I use it to store up memories. Things I can’t lose. Things I don’t want to lose.

Maybe something in here can spark up some inspiration. 

I manage to place it on my bed, before I unzip the suitcase with white daisies on it. I remember when I hopped in my friend Sy’s truck, to go to another town to buy me this suitcase. He was staying in Sapphire Falls, while I was going to New York. He told me he wanted to help me out, help me prepare for my departure. 

‘Liv,’ he said, when I was looking at the different types of suitcases, ‘this one is perfect for you.’ Like it weighed nothing—Sy was always way too strong, thanks to the physical work on his family farm—he held up the suitcase with one hand. ‘Don’t you like daisies?’

Picture after picture of me and my three best friends are stored in this suitcase. We were inseparable in high school, but despite us promising to each other we would always remain friends, we unfortunately drifted apart. While I know that Chris went off and is now a professional basketball player at the Chicago Bulls, I have no idea whatever happened to Abigail and Caleb Syverson.

And then there it is. A picture of us right before prom. The four of us all together, all happy and dressed up. We went to the Honey Bee Ranch—the family farm of the Syverson family—and me and Abigail did our hair and make-up there and got dressed up. Dottie Syverson insisted on taking a lot of pictures and despite all her efforts, this is the only one where Sy isn’t frowning, but is actually laughing. 

Goodness, I really do miss them. Sapphire Falls, no matter how harsh it was growing up there as one of the only Asian kids and how difficult it was to be my parents’ child, that place was always my home. 

Will always be my home.

Christmas time in Sapphire Falls was without exception great. The lights, the trees, the all-round jolliness around. No matter how amazing Christmas is in New York City, it’s nothing compared to Sapphire Falls. 

I could just do it, you know. 

I open my laptop and search for possibilities of me going back there. There is a small hotel there and they have multiple rooms left. 

Livia Darmandi, think about this. You're not going to spend Christmas here with anybody. You broke up with Ian, so no Christmas with his family and besides that, you barely have friends here.

Maybe I should go home.

●・○・●・○・●

A loud sigh escapes my mouth as I open another, annoying, e-mail from one of our suppliers. If you thought farm life was only about shoveling shit and petting cute animals all day, you couldn’t have been more wrong. I mean, yes, I had the privilege to pet very cute goats every day but most part of my day was spent behind my laptop. Doing Honey Bee Farm’s administration, keeping track of deliveries, meeting with potential buyers; you get it, boring stuff.

One more e-mail, I think to myself while my eye spots a butterfly landing on the wooden bench outside my window. Slowly I reach for my camera, which is always on or near me, and I quickly shoot a few shots before it flutters away. Completely forgetting about the e-mail I’m supposed to answer, I get up and grab my coat.

The chilly air greets me as I leave the kitchen (also my workspace) and step outside. With my camera ready in hand, I walk towards our meadow. The cows are happily grazing, I hear the chickens fighting but the one thing that catches my attention are the bleating goats. I walk over to their enclosure, and their bleating gets even louder. To this day it still amazes me how Sy let me have these animals. He hated them furiously. He wouldn’t come near them, and he shouldn’t, because the goats didn’t like him as well. I let out a snickers about the thought, and pet the smallest goat, Honey. She was born just a few weeks ago, and stole the show the second she was born. Her mother approaches as well, and I take a few pictures of them.

The sun was setting slowly, and the sky turned orange and pink. I think I have taken a million pictures of the sun setting above our meadow, yet I still take a few extra. Taking pictures is something I have done since I laid a hand on a camera. When I was ten, my parents gave me my first camera. It was small, so I carried it with me everywhere I went. I’m not exaggerating when I say I have captured every nook and corner of Sapphire Falls.

Ever since I got that camera I wanted to be a photographer. But then life happened, and the place I called home needed me. Honey Bee Farm had already taken a hit when my father died, but when my mom died, I knew I had to step up. Sy had been the man of the farm since our father died, but he couldn’t do it without my mom or me. So when our mom passed away, I set aside my own dreams. There was no way I could abandon Sy. He needed me. And I needed him.

A loud groan pulls me out of my thoughts. I sigh deeply. This sounded like Sy was trying to do something alone while he shouldn’t. He didn’t like to ask for my help, even though I was more than capable of doing so. He sometimes pretends to forget I’m just as big and strong as him, just to protect me.

I walk around the main house, and see Sy standing over giant pieces of logs. ‘You really think you can carry those alone, you idiot?’ I yell while putting down my expensive camera along with my coat. While I don’t mind helping around the farm and getting dirty, no way I’m willingly going to destroy my camera or pretty clothes.

‘I don’t need your help,’ Sy muffles under his breath while wrapping his hands around a log easily twice his size. I shake my head, and quickly grab the other end. Together we carry the log inside the barn.

‘See? A bit easier when we do it together uh?’ I laugh. Sy doesn’t say a word, but lets me help nevertheless. A few minutes later all the logs are carried inside the barn, and we stand next to each other while we watch the sun finally leaving our sight.

‘I’ll go start dinner, so you can try and save those nails of yours,’ Sy smiles. I scoffed, and acted offended, but when he walked inside I looked down at my hands. What if I could just hold a camera all day?

●・○・●・○・●

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #25 | 11.28.22

Hi everyone!

How have you all been? We are slowly approaching holiday season, so hope the end of the year has been bringing some moments of rest and connection with loved ones <3 We are back with another devlog, so let’s get into it! 

Writing

Writing has been where the bulk of my time has been spent this past month. I’ve been working closely with Wudgey, our developmental editor, to flesh out routes, endings, and information cohesion between everything. We’ve officially finished the route summaries for each character, and I’m quite happy with how the lore, endings, and character development has turned out! I think the magic, backstories, and characters have really come to life after talking with them, so I’m eternally grateful <3

Aside from that, my big, big focus has been Kayn’s route. I’ve begun writing the actual script for their route based on our outline and am currently sitting at ~25k words. At first, I was beating myself up a lot with the progress --- I felt like I wasn’t moving fast enough. But now that I’m actually seeing that number and realizing that’s from one month’s work, I’m pretty proud with myself, haha! This is just a rough draft, and it doesn’t include fleshed out choices, the fun characterization scenes where we get to just have fun with the LIs, etc., but I’ve written up most of the basic plot (I’d estimate about 80%). I anticipate this first draft without fleshed out choices and extra characterization scenes will end at around 30k-35k words, so almost there!!!

Art

Last time, I showed you all one of the BGs Vui had finished. And honestly, most of the art development process has been on Vui’s side since I haven’t been spending as much time on Alaris art (((you will see why below LOL))). Above is the most recent background I got back from them, and I’m honestly blown away by how it looks. I find it so unbelievably stunning and can’t believe it’s going to be featured in the game. Hope you all like it as much as I do and are just as excited for future BGs Vui cooks up! 

I have been working on some CGs, but I’ll be keeping those a secret for now hehe ^^

Additional Features

Finally, the sound and music! I’ve already started receiving some of the voiced lines back from the VAs for the demo portion. I haven’t gotten a chance to review them yet since I’ve been preoccupied, and they’re not ~as~ time sensitive. But I’m hoping to start reviewing the lines next month and hope to have a better idea of how the characters are sounding! Regardless, I’m very excited to give them a listen <3

I’ve also been working with Peter for song composition for the soundtrack. We have three songs complete, specifically the main theme song, romantic/tender track, and the tense track. I’ll be previewing them in the near future, so be on the lookout!! 

"Market Research” 

I’m going to have to start unironically having a spot for fanart highlights, haha! Lately, I’ve been trying to improve my rendering and other aspects of my art that I don’t have as much comfort with. Because I don’t want to only draw Alaris all the time, I use other works as a way to practice my art, so that when I work on CGs and sprites, I’ll be able to use those new techniques to hopefully deliver a better visual product for you all! 

I was quite proud with how all of these came out. This month, I took a dive into Mystic Messenger and Blooming Panic, two games I’ve heard so much about but have never gotten the chance to play. I felt so inspired with both of them since I have little exposure to chat-based games and fell in love with the GUI (the discord layout of Blooming Panic is especially creative!!), characterization, and voice dynamics between the cast. 

While playing games doesn’t seem directly related to game development, it helps me see what’s out there and improve on things to bring to Alaris. I’ve already gotten a lot of ideas floating around that I hope to implement, so I hope you all look forward to it! Until next month, and I wish you all an early safe, warm, and happy holidays!!! <3

[godblooded]

hey guys. gonna have a moment and do a good old fashioned kat speak from the heart post so here we go.

i’m so fuckin’ thankful for all of you. thanks be so much to those of you who have stuck by me. thanks be to those of you who love me. thanks be to those of you who so much as spare me a positive thought in your day. i’m grateful to exist here in a space where even when i’m going through a lot and i disappear, i’m welcomed back so beautifully and so openly.

it’s been a difficult go of it. this is the very first time in my life i’m learning myself, and that’s a very complicated thing to try to do at 32. the concept of ‘having things figured out’ isn’t quite a logical concept at all nowadays.

i’m grateful for learning i can be loved, and in a huge way a lot of you have contributed to that. @shelassos is always so supportive and always has a kind word when i really need it like intrinsically. @crimeloyalty is one of the most marvelous writers i know, and has rekindled in me an old love of something i didn’t even know came true for me (yeah, batquinn is very dear to my heart and i’m not kidding when i say it’s so healing to think something that beautiful i always wanted came true???). @rekhenung is my brother, the person who i can confidently say we’re on a forever journey together, and whenever i look over there you are, and making me prouder every day. @inexactexpiration has been a close, close, close, very bestie brother mine for so long i got to see him get married, and witnessing and feeling his happiness was my greatest joy. @vorcotec is one of my most cherished people and no matter what, i’ll never ever feel like i can do anything but go to rabbit as though nothing has ever changed. @bornbreathless has made me want to write my goddamn oc again, truly. has made me realize i can make something worthwhile, and inspired so much of the development that kitty would not be who she is without you today. @misereternal has always been the best of all and any, standing by no matter how many ages i tend to disappear for. and so talented at sparking my creativity— at making me feel loved when i need it the most. without my fox shaped sibling sometimes i don’t think i’d know what it felt like to feel accepted. @zloslwy might only just be someone i’m speaking to now closely, but i’ve always admired with such great ferocity the talent and unabashed passion they attack every character of theirs, and i find myself more often than not inspired just by reading their work. @pessimistics has been wonderfully welcoming to a passion i have for a show i have not seen simply because i developed a passion for a character from said show i have not seen only through hart’s work. rustin’s so important to me, and i mean that, and i only know what you’ve written. @atrohphy is a constancy i cannot tell you how much i adore— not just a bright light, but a person i always feel like i can say practically anything to. pitch anything to, and receive back some ingenuity. @villainsrph is someone i met through a fucking accidental giveaway and to this day i can’t go through a moment without thinking about spending two hours on a random friend date in burrito bar having what i still consider one of the most fun times of my life, and i always feel welcome with briar, who has a talent for making everyone feel welcome. @asteritm has left me messages that at times have legitimately saved my entire day from the depths, and sometimes just straight up saved me. @parameddie is one of the most intelligently thought out writers i’ve ever, ever seen and i’m in love with every single thing ric writes because all of it is fascinating. all of it is driven by such a powerfully analytical lens— none of her characters are ever just characters, but they’re studies, too. @jokethur does such beautiful writing that there isn’t a day goes by i don’t find myself idly scrolling headcanons just out of curiosity limitless. i think i’ve rattled off everything i can through my glasses fogging constantly. @standbetween is an absolute gift. a person whose positive vibes emanate into my life. a dude who writes a character so marvelously that frankly i care not about the series. I care about thom and bishop’s heart and that’s all.

i have been through a relationship that i genuinely thought was it, but it was an experience i had, and i still got through it— albeit delayed, with the help of a lot of you guys. a lot of you i love so much. through my mom’s sickness, losing her; through grad school and fluctuating depressions— through so much of the hard stuff, you have been here for me. and for that i am grateful. i am thankful for the patience and love i’ve been shown at my hardest and i’m thankful for the honesty i’ve been given when i’m at my most difficult. i’m just thankful for all of you, and i need you to know that.

writing is my catharsis. musing is my catharsis. thinking, talking, creating, is all my catharsis. and i wouldn’t have it without you all.

thank you thank you thank you.

i’m gonna go drive on up to ct to see my family for a little while so i’ll be mobile (ask for disco or wire if you feel so inclined!) but thank you. thank you thank you. i want to write when i get back. fucking hell I want to. so hopefully i can.

i’m so thankful for everyone reading this. i love you.

[goldazu]

Honestly, it may seem silly, but I never thought I would live to be 24 years old simply because the world might be “too difficult” for someone as childish as me to live in, but here I am, I made it this far. It still hasn’t completely settled in that I’m this old because I’m honestly mentally 3 years old with my crazy sense of humor, but I’m happy and thankful that people have stuck around by me regardless. I’m someone who doesn’t want to take others for granted, and so I wanted to say thank you to all my friends who have always been so kind and understanding with me. I want to thank all my friends who had fun with me and indulged a bit of my messed up humor in making Ruki traumatize everyone’s OCs and muses, ahaha. It’s his way of showing his twisted love, I promise. It’s never anything personal.

But I also wanted to write this because, for the longest time in my life, I’ve felt rather isolated and awkward around others. In my childhood, I was honestly a brat of a friend and treated others poorly believe it or not. So, it makes me relieved to see others are always so enthusiastic and eager to interact with me, as well as my portrayal of Ruki, a character who holds a special place in my life. All the fun, the bittersweet, the morose even—I cherish all these memories as they’ve allowed me to grow as a person, and hopefully continue to be a decent friend even if I struggle to be there all the time for every single one of you.

My only regret is that I couldn’t be there more often. Just know that I am a very vocal and transparent person when it comes to what I expect, and I won’t hesitate to let people know if they’ve crossed a boundary with me, so if it ever felt like I ignored you, then that means I have no problem with you and it’s more so a sign of my poor time management. For that, I apologize. But as I grow older and take on more responsibilities, I hope the times I am active prove to be fun and exciting for all involved. Trust me when I say that this blog has become my favorite project yet, as it bridged the gap between my love for Ruki and my aspiration to connect with all sorts of wonderful, talented, and creative individuals with countless of inspiring ideas for their worlds, their characters, their stories. I am grateful for all of it.

It is the first time in my 20+ years of living that I felt legitimately heard and cared for without condition. It made me feel reliable that people would actually confide their feelings and worries to me. It brightened my day to see people discuss their characters with a genuine passion. It makes me unfathomably happy that there are people who actually read what I have to write and say and feel captivated by it, and as a result, feel compelled by Ruki’s character, too. It is something for me to look forward to that it’s difficult not to forsake other things in my life (looking at you, work) without getting so absorbed into my writing.

Maybe it’s unrealistic of me to say this, but I want to keep it up for as long as I live, even if it’s only a little at a time, even if other people grow out of it, which is okay. Regardless of what happens next, I am thankful for this chapter in my life, and I hope it is a chapter that will always continue into a full-fledged book of cherished memories with you all.

[mrsbsmooth]

Scripts - S6 - Episode 16 (Part 1 of 2)

Daybeds / doing bits

Thanks to @longbobmckenzie for these!

NARRATOR: Welcome back to Love Island, where another recoupling has thrown the villa into a choice meltdown!

NARRATOR: Elliot coupled up with {0} before several other eager Islanders got the chance!

NARRATOR: But Bella isn’t taking this lying down. Or maybe she will be if {0} accepts her saucy daybeds invitation.

NARRATOR: But Chloe isn’t taking this lying down. Or maybe she will be if {0} accepts her saucy daybeds invitation.

NARRATOR: But {0} isn’t taking this lying down. Or maybe he will be if {1} accepts his saucy daybeds invitation.

NARRATOR: But is {0} tempted by the offer? Let’s find out!

If OG LI is Male

{0} takes your hands in his. His piercing eyes looking deep into yours after his naughty proposition.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: That’s quite the proposition.

{0}_FLIRTY: I don’t want to lose you, {1}.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I’m sensing you might be happy Elliot picked you.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: But I feel like if I don’t say this I’ll regret it forever.

{0}_SAD: What we have together, you don’t find that everyday.

{0}_IDLE: I’ve never found it before if I’m being honest.

{0}_FLIRTY: Sounds cheesy, but I think I’ve been looking for you my whole life.

ROBERTO_SAD: Before I met you, I was wandering without direction.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: But now I see where I need to go.

PLAYER_HAPPY: And where’s that?

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Anywhere you are, {0}.

RYAN_FLIRTY: You inspire me, {0}.

PLAYER_IDLE: Inspire? How?

RYAN_FLIRTY: Let’s say, you energise me creatively.

RYAN_HAPPY: When I’m with you, I see the world in a different way.

LEWIE_EMBARRASSED: Look, I’m not great at putting these things into words.

LEWIE_IDLE: But maybe that’s the point, you know?

LEWIE_HAPPY: There are no words for how I feel about you!

LEWIE_FLIRTY: I’ve never felt a connection like this before.

JAMAL_SAD: I used to feel like a bull in a china shop, super chaotic and wild.

JAMAL_FLIRTY: Don’t get me wrong, I don't think that'll ever change.

JAMAL_HAPPY: But now I’ve found someone I can be wild with!

JAMAL_FLIRTY: Being with you feels like an adventure, {0}.

{0}_SERIOUS: So, if Elliot really wants to be with you, he better be ready for some competition.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Competition huh?

{0}_FLIRTY: For you, anything is worth it. I’m not going anywhere.

{0}_HAPPY: So, you know where I’ll be.

{0}_FLIRTY: If you want a night you’ll remember, I’ll be on the daybeds.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: A night I’ll remember, huh? What have you got up your sleeve?

{0}_HAPPY: There’s only one way to find out…

{0} smiles at you suggestively as he makes his way back towards the villa.

If LI is BELLA

Bella takes your hands in hers. Her big eyes looking deep into yours after her naughty proposition.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: That’s quite the proposition…

BELLA_FLIRTY: I want to be with you, {0}.

BELLA_EMBARRASSED: I’m sensing you might be happy Elliot picked you.

BELLA_EMBARRASSED: I get that, he’s pretty dreamy. I know he turned a few heads when he came in.

BELLA_EMBARRASSED: But I feel like if I don’t say this I’ll regret it forever.

BELLA_SAD: What we have together, you don’t find that everyday.

BELLA_EMBARRASSED: You know I haven’t had anything super serious before.

BELLA_IDLE: And that’s because I haven’t found someone that’s turned me melty.

BELLA_FLIRTY: But, it’s what I’ve been looking for my whole life. Someone like you.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I can’t stop thinking about our night in the Hideaway.

BELLA_FLIRTY: It was just perfect.

BELLA_FLIRTY: It seemed like we were only just getting <i>our</i> time.

BELLA_HAPPY: And I was looking forward to more of it.

BELLA_SERIOUS: So if Elliot really wants to be with you, he better be ready for some competition.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Oh yeah?

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’m not giving up that easily.

BELLA_FLIRTY: There’s still lots of naughtiness to explore.

BELLA_FLIRTY: If you want a night to remember, the daybeds is where you’ll find it.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: A night I’ll remember, huh? What have you got up your sleeve?

BELLA_HAPPY: There’s only one way to find out…

Bella smiles at you suggestively as she makes her way back towards the villa.

If LI is CHLOE

Chloe takes your hands in hers. Her big eyes looking deep into yours after her naughty proposition.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: That’s quite the proposition…

CHLOE_EMBARRASSED: I’m sensing you might be happy Elliot picked you.

CHLOE_EMBARRASSED: I get that, he’s pretty cute. We came in together and he’s cool.

CHLOE_IDLE: But I feel like if I don’t say this I’ll regret it forever.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: It’s super early days, but I feel a connection with you, {0}.

CHLOE_SAD: Something that you don’t find everyday.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: And if you feel it too, well…

Chloe bites her lip as she looks deep into your eyes.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: We could leave the boys to their bickering and have some fun of our own.

CHLOE_HAPPY: Elliot can handle a bit of friendly competition.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Oh really?

CHLOE_HAPPY: What can I say? I go after what I want.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: And right now, it’s you.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: If you want a night you’ll remember forever, the daybeds is where it’s at.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: A night I’ll remember, huh? What have you got up your sleeve?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: There’s only one way for you to find out…

CHLOE_FLIRTY: But I promise you’ll never forget it.

Chloe smiles at you suggestively as she makes her way back towards the villa.

From the Firepit you see Amelia approaching looking giddy.

AMELIA_HAPPY: You done flirting yet?!

AMELIA_HAPPY: Been waiting to get a word in! You know how hard I find it to keep quiet.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Unfortunately, yes.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Come on! We need to chat!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Yeah, I need to get ready for bed.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: And which bed will that be.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Were you listening in?!

AMELIA_HAPPY: {0}! How dare you?! I would never do such a thing!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Now come on, you can fill me in on the bits I couldn’t quite hear.

Amelia drags you off to the villa to get changed.

You and Amelia enter the dressing room as the other girls prepare for bed in their new couples.

Bella shoots you a cheeky smile as you walk over to the wardrobes.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Long time no see.

Chloe shoots you a cheeky smile as you walk over to the wardrobes.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Long time no see.

GRACE_SERIOUS: Where did you lot run off to!? We’ve been waiting!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Woah! Sorry Mum, was just having a chat!

CHLOE_HAPPY: Grace has been desperate for the goss.

BELLA_HAPPY: Grace has been desperate for the goss.

GRACE_HAPPY: I need to know where my girls’ heads are at.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: Especially after the whole… switch up.

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Yeah, how do you feel about being coupled up with Elliot, {0}?

Over the moon!

PLAYER_HAPPY: I can’t lie, girls, I’m over the moon!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Elliot’s such a sweetheart. Can’t wait to keep getting to know him.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Now that we’re officially coupled up there’s nothing stopping us!

Bella looks quietly disappointed.

BELLA_SAD: Ah, ok.

Chloe looks quietly disappointed.

CHLOE_SAD: Ah, ok.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Aw, {0}, I’m so happy for you!

I’m not happy

PLAYER_IDLE: To be honest, girls, not happy.

PLAYER_SAD: Elliot seems like a nice guy but we don’t have that spark.

PLAYER_SAD: He just hasn’t turned my head yet.

BELLA_HAPPY: That’s ok, {0}.

GRACE_HAPPY: Yeah, he might still surprise you.

BELLA_HAPPY: Just because you’re coupled up doesn’t mean you're married off.

BELLA_FLIRTY: There’s still other peeps who’d want to be with you.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: There’s still other people who’d want to get to know you.

I’ll give him a chance

PLAYER_IDLE: I don’t know how to feel about it right now.

PLAYER_IDLE: But I’m going to give Elliot a chance and see where things go.

BELLA_IDLE: No harm in that I guess.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: You never know how things might develop now that you’re coupled up.

CHLOE_IDLE: I suppose it’s an opportunity to spend more time together.

PLAYER_IDLE: How about you Grace, happy to still be with Ozzy?

GRACE_HAPPY: Of course! My head hasn’t turned since day one.

GRACE_IDLE: I know there’s been some ups and downs with us.

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Mainly that rodeo challenge, right?

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: Damn right.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: And that line about wishing he had first pick at the recoupling.

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Yeah, what was that about? Did you buy it was just nerves?

GRACE_SAD: Not sure. It got my alarm bells ringing.

GRACE_IDLE: But he does get nervous about recouplings.

GRACE_SAD: I do kinda wish he’d show how much he likes me more.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: What do you mean?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Think she means… getting it on?

BELLA_FLIRTY: Oh, a roll in the hay?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Ah, the no pants dance?

GRACE_HAPPY: Ok! Think we all get it!

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: I just wish things were a bit more intimate. It’s like he’s been holding back.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Well, you never know. Maybe tonight is the night?

GRACE_FLIRTY: I’m banking on it. I’m going all out!

AMELIA_HAPPY: Well, if he doesn’t make a move the boy’s a fool!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Speaking of making moves, Amelia, how you feeling about {0}?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: I mean the boy’s a fitty. Defo gives me fanny flutters on a daily basis.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: But things aren’t deep yet. Still getting to know the real {0}.

BELLA_HAPPY: Not married off yet then?

AMELIA_HAPPY: No way!

If OG LI is with CHLOE

CHLOE_FLIRTY: How about you, Bella? You and {0} going strong?

CHLOE_HAPPY: Still friend couple vibes?

BELLA_SERIOUS: Actually… I’ve fallen head over heels in love with {0}.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: What?

BELLA_HAPPY: I’m only messin! Me and {0} are still best buds.

BELLA_FLIRTY: We’re just waiting till we can be with the right person. No rush.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Plus, I promised I’d be his wingwoman.

GRACE_HAPPY: That’s so cute!

AMELIA_HAPPY: And you, Chloe? Now that you’re coupled with {0}.

Chloe looks at you bashfully, unsure what to say.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I mean {0} is a real gentleman.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: And he is very much my type on paper for a guy.

CHLOE_HAPPY: I can’t say I’m upset to be sharing a bed with him.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I guess we’ll see where the night takes us…

Keep your hands off {0}

PLAYER_ANGRY: You better keep your hands to yourself and respect girl code tonight.

PLAYER_ANGRY: As far as I’m concerned {0} is still my man.

CHLOE_SURPRISED: Woah, ok {0}.

CHLOE_SERIOUS: I thought you were over the moon with Elliot now anyway?

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Doesn’t change anything between me and {0}.

CHLOE_HAPPY: We are all in the same boat here, trying to meet the right person.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Me and {0} are coupled up after all.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: It doesn’t mean there aren’t other people I’d rather be sharing a bed with…

Chloe shoots you a cheeky glance.

You two have fun!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You two have fun!

CHLOE_HAPPY: Thanks, {0}!

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Very open minded of you.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I’ll keep that in mind for later.

Chloe shoots you a cheeky glance.

I don’t wanna know

PLAYER_IDLE: I don’t really want to know about that, thanks.

CHLOE_EMBARRASSED: We are coupled up now, {0}.

CHLOE_EMBARRASSED: We are gonna have to share a bed.

CHLOE_HAPPY: Might just have to get used to it…

CHLOE_FLIRTY: But like I mentioned, I’m planning to be on the daybeds anyway.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: With {0}?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I’ve got other ideas tonight.

Chloe shoots you a mischievous smile.

How about into my arms?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I don’t know where the night will take you…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: But I hope it’s into my arms.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I doubt the others would get much sleep if that happened.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m sure they’d get over it.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Well, as I said I might be on the daybeds tonight.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: If you wanna keep the others up from out there instead.

Chloe bites her lip as she shoots you a mischievous smile.

GRACE_HAPPY: Wherever any of you is sleeping, we all need to look stunning. Fact.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Well! I know the perfect thing to impress!

BELLA_FLIRTY: You certainly know how to make a good impression, Chloe.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I do try.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: You know what they say, no one can resist a girl in lingerie.

CHLOE_HAPPY: Anyway I’m going to get some fresh air before bed.

She briefly makes eye contact with you as she leaves.

CHLOE_HAPPY: Catch you girls later…

Chloe struts out of the room on a mission.

If OG LI is with BELLA

BELLA_FLIRTY: How about you, Chloe? You happy with {0}?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I’m ecstatic! It feels good to be official with someone.

CHLOE_HAPPY: I always sleep better with someone’s arms around me.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Not that I plan on doing much sleeping tonight.

GRACE_FLIRTY: Naughty!

AMELIA_SERIOUS: How about you, Bella? How do you feel about being with {0}?

Bella looks at you bashfully, unsure what to say.

BELLA_HAPPY: I mean {0} is a real gent.

BELLA_HAPPY: He’s a really lovely guy.

BELLA_HAPPY: I can’t say I’m upset to be sharing a bed with him.

BELLA_HAPPY: I guess we’ll just have to see what happens.

Keep your hands off {0}

PLAYER_ANGRY: You better keep your hands to yourself and respect girl code tonight.

PLAYER_ANGRY: As far as I’m concerned {0} is still my man.

BELLA_SURPRISED: Woah, ok {0}.

BELLA_SERIOUS: I thought you were over the moon with Elliot now anyway?

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Doesn’t change anything between me and {0}.

BELLA_SERIOUS: We are in the same boat here, trying to meet the right person.

BELLA_SERIOUS: Me and {0} are coupled up after all.

BELLA_FLIRTY: It doesn’t mean there aren’t other people I’d rather be sharing a bed with.

Bella shoots you a cheeky glance.

You two have fun!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You two have fun!

BELLA_HAPPY: Thanks, {0}!

BELLA_FLIRTY: Very open minded of you.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’ll keep that in mind for later…

Bella shoots you a cheeky glance.

I don’t wanna know

PLAYER_IDLE: I don’t really want to know about that, thanks.

BELLA_HAPPY: Don’t worry, we’re friendzone vibes anyway.

BELLA_HAPPY: And I mentioned that I plan to be on the daybeds anyway.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: With {0}?

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’ve got other ideas tonight.

Bella shoots you a mischievous smile.

Don't forget I'm here

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I don’t know where the night will take you…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: But I hope it’s into my arms.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I doubt the others would get much sleep if that happened.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I doubt we’d get much sleep either.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: If that night in the Hideaway is anything to go by.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Well, as I said I might be on the daybeds tonight.

BELLA_FLIRTY: If you wanna keep the others up from out there instead.

Bella bites her lip as she shoots you a mischievous smile.

GRACE_HAPPY: Wherever any of us are sleeping, we all need to look stunning. Fact.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Well! I know the perfect thing for tonight.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: You certainly know how to make a good impression, Bella.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I sure do.

BELLA_FLIRTY: You know what they say, no one can resist a girl in sexy sleepwear.

BELLA_HAPPY: Anyway I’m going to get some fresh air before bed.

She catches your eye as she struts out of the room.

BELLA_HAPPY: Catch you later.

AMELIA_SERIOUS: Excuse me, ladies. Me and {0} need a little sister talk.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: We do?

AMELIA_SERIOUS: We do.

GRACE_SURPRISED: This sounds serious.

You and Amelia step away from the others.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: What is it?

AMELIA_HAPPY: You have to spill the tea on those little chats you had earlier!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Alright, nosy!

AMELIA_HAPPY: I heard what they were saying… I have to know!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Whose bed will you be sleeping in tonight?

Elliot’s

PLAYER_HAPPY: Well if you have to know!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’ll be sleeping with Elliot tonight.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Ahhh! That’s so exciting!

AMELIA_HAPPY: I thought you weren’t happy being coupled with him.

AMELIA_HAPPY: But it’s great that you’re going to give him a chance!

AMELIA_HAPPY: I think he really likes you, {0}.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: You two could make a great couple!

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Too bad for {0} though I guess. Hope he doesn’t take it too hard.

{0}’s

PLAYER_IDLE: Well, if you really have to know.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m going to sneak out and join {0} on the daybeds…

AMELIA_HAPPY: Ahhh, {0} that’s so exciting! And naughty.

AMELIA_HAPPY: I thought you were over the moon with Elliot though?

AMELIA_HAPPY: But it’s great that you’re not giving up on {0}.

AMELIA_HAPPY: I think the two of you have something really special.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Well, he did promise me an unforgettable night.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Awww, it makes me so…

AMELIA_SERIOUS: Jealous!

Elliot’s

PLAYER_HAPPY: Well if you have to know…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’ll be sleeping with Elliot tonight.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Ahhh! That’s so exciting!

AMELIA_HAPPY: I thought you weren’t happy being coupled with him.

AMELIA_HAPPY: But it’s great that you’re going to give him a chance!

AMELIA_HAPPY: I think he really likes you, {0}.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: You two could make a great couple!

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Too bad for {0} though I guess. Hope he doesn’t take it too hard.

{0}’s

PLAYER_IDLE: Well, if you really have to know…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m going to sneak out and join {0} on the daybeds.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Ahhh, {0} that’s so exciting.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: And naughty!

AMELIA_HAPPY: I thought you were over the moon with Elliot though?

AMELIA_HAPPY: But it’s great that you and {0} are exploring things together!

AMELIA_HAPPY: I think the two of you could have something really special.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Well, she did promise me an unforgettable night.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Awww. It makes me so…

AMELIA_SERIOUS: Jealous!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: It sounds like you’ve got a busy night ahead of you.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: And that calls for the perfect lingerie.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Like what?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Something to really get Elliot’s blood pumping.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Something to really get {0}’s blood pumping.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Something to really get {0}’s blood pumping.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: This is it!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: You look gorgeous!!!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: No one will be able to resist you in that!

PLAYER_IDLE: I’ll just go with this I think.

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: You sure? This is a big night!

AMELIA_IDLE: Don’t you want it to be super memorable?

I’ll have another look

PLAYER_FLIRTY: This is the one!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: You look gorgeous!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: No one will be able to resist you in that!

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Nah, I think I’m just going to stick with this.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Whatever makes you happy.

I’m happy with this

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Nah, I think I’m just going to stick with this.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Whatever makes you happy.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Right! No use hanging around here with me!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: You’ve got places to be! Have fun, {0}. You deserve it!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks, Amelia.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Catch you later!

As you head down to the bedroom Amelia calls out after you.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Elliot’s not gonna know what hit him!

As you sneak out to the daybeds Amelia calls out after you.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: {0}’s not gonna know what hit him!

As you sneak out to the daybeds Amelia calls out after you.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: {0}’s not gonna know what hit her!

If you sleep inside with ELLIOT

You swing the bedroom door open and strut past the beds like you’re on a catwalk.

The Islanders look up at you as you pass their beds, their jaws hitting the ground, gawping at your stunning outfit.

GRACE_SURPRISED: Oh. My. Days.

{0}_SURPRISED: Elliot you lucky-

Amelia hops into bed beside {0}.

AMELIA_SERIOUS: Oi you! You’re right though.

You reach your bed and find Elliot there waiting, his face lights up at the sight of you.

He rubs his eyes playfully.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Am I dreaming?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I don’t think so?

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Because you look unreal.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Glad you think so.

Elliot pulls back the covers for you as you slip into bed beside him.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I can’t believe that just a couple of days ago I was at home streaming away.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: And today I’m coupled up with the most beautiful girl in the Love Island villa.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Well, maybe dreams really do come true?

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Seems that way.

As the two of you get comfortable, you spot {0} enter the bedroom.

He looks over at you and Elliot, struggling to hide his disappointment as he heads to bed with {0}.

As the two of you get comfortable, you spot Bella sneaking into the bedroom.

She looks over at you and Elliot, struggling to hide her disappointment as she heads to bed with {0}.

As the two of you get comfortable, you spot Chloe sneaking into the bedroom.

She looks over at you and Elliot, struggling to hide her disappointment as she heads to bed with {0}.

Elliot notices the tense eye contact between the two of you.

ELLIOT_EMBARRASSED: You ok, you seem a little distracted?

I’m thinking about what I want to do to you

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Really? I was just thinking about what we could get up to in this bed…

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Well it really is my lucky day then.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I was thinking the same thing.

ELLIOT_IDLE: But you know that you can talk to me about anything right?

My head’s all over the place

PLAYER_IDLE: Yeah, my head is just spinning a bit.

PLAYER_IDLE: There is a lot going on at the moment.

ELLIOT_HAPPY: I totally understand.

ELLIOT_IDLE: And I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.

I’m fine

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m fine! Don’t worry.

ELLIOT_HAPPY: Ok, I’m glad.

ELLIOT_HAPPY: The last thing I want is for you to be upset.

ELLIOT_IDLE: I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.

ELLIOT_EMBARRASSED: I know this might be awkward for you, {0}.

ELLIOT_IDLE: I’m certainly not the only one with their heart set on you.

ELLIOT_IDLE: But if you give me a chance, I want to show you how good we could be.

ELLIOT_HAPPY: Since the moment I was unboxed I haven’t been able to get you off my mind.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: And since we kissed… well my head’s still spinning.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I couldn’t be happier to be coupled with you.

Get flirty

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Are we still talking?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I was hoping our clothes would be on the floor by now.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I’ll take that as you also being happy to be coupled with me!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Hot and smart.

Play hard to get

PLAYER_IDLE: Hmmm makes one of us, at least.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m still waiting to be wowed.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It takes a lot to impress me.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Oh really? High standards, huh?

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I’m always up for a challenge.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: And we have all night…

Tell him you’re undecided

PLAYER_IDLE: If I’m honest, I’m not so convinced just yet.

PLAYER_IDLE: I've still got a lot to figure out.

ELLIOT_EMBARRASSED: I get it. No need to rush things.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Hopefully a night with me will help you make up your mind.

From the other beds you begin to hear sheets rustling and flirtatious giggling.

ELLIOT_HAPPY: Seems like everyone is getting to know each other.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Seems so.

Elliot glances at your lips, wanting.

He scooches closer to you, looking deep into your eyes.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: So, what do you want to do now?

Do bits

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about we take things up a notch…

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: You read my mind.

Elliot wraps his muscular arms around you and pulls your body close to his.

His hands caress your back gently, giving you goosebumps.

You work your way up to Elliot’s ear, knowing it’s his turn on.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: You’ve got a good memory, {0}.

You slowly kiss his ear lobe, gently nibbling it. You teasingly whisper into his ear.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You like that?

Elliot nods.

Your lips meet passionately, then Elliot works his way down your neck.

He plants gentle kisses all the way down to your collarbone as you remove each other's clothes one by one…

Elliot’s fingers glide up your inner thigh as he begins to kiss your chest, then your stomach.

Making his way further and further down slipping under the covers.

As you run your fingers through his soft hair, Elliot works his hands back up your body feeling every inch of you.

You’re completely lost in the moment, your bodies moving together as one as the pleasure builds and builds…

Until you reach a crescendo of pleasure, sinking into the bed as tingles pass through your body like electricity.

Elliot lays his head on the pillow beside you with a cheeky smile.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: What are you smiling about?

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I just like making you happy.

Make out

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I want to kiss you…

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: You read my mind.

Elliot wraps his muscular arms around you pulling your body close to his.

His hands caress your back gently, sending tingles of pleasure up your spine.

You work your way up to Elliot’s ear, knowing it’s his turn on.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: You’ve got a good memory, {0}.

You slowly kiss his ear lobe, gently nibbling it. You make the move even hotter when you sexily whisper into his ear.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You like that?

Elliot nods.

You roll around in each other's arms, lost in the moment.

As Elliot pulls away he looks deep into your eyes once more.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I could do that all night…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: We’re coupled up now, we have all the time we need.

You both lay back together in an embrace.

Spoon

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about a cheeky spoon?

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Sounds perfect.

You turn around and scooch backwards as Elliot wraps his muscular arms around you.

He pulls you in close, his whole body surrounding you in a warm, firm embrace.

You feel his breath on the back of your neck, sending tingles down your spine.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: I could lie here like this forever.

Elliot soothingly strokes your hair behind your ear as you relax into each other.

Go to sleep

PLAYER_IDLE: It’s been a long day.

PLAYER_IDLE: I think I want to get some sleep.

ELLIOT_HAPPY: Of course, it’s been a long day.

You both lay back on your sides of the bed, nuzzling into your pillow.

As you both settle in for the night, you hear a commotion from the other side of the room.

Ozzy and Grace are in the midst of a hushed argument!

OZZY_ANGRY: What exactly is it that you want from me?!

GRACE_ANGRY: We’ve talked about this already! It’s like you don’t listen to me!

OZZY_ANGRY: Maybe it’s you that doesn’t listen to me?

OZZY_SERIOUS: I need some air.

You watch as Ozzy scoops up his pillow and storms out of the room.

Grace sinks back into her bed looking upset.

Comfort Grace

PLAYER_IDLE: Grace! Are you ok?

You slip out of bed and tip toe to Grace’s bed. You sit beside her and place a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She’s red-faced and clearly a little embarrassed.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: I’m fine.

GRACE_SAD: It’s silly really. I just thought… Oh it doesn’t matter.

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m here if you want to talk about it?

GRACE_SAD: Thanks, {0}, you’re a good friend.

GRACE_SAD: Think I just need to be alone right now.

PLAYER_IDLE: Ok, well I’m just over there if you need me.

GRACE_HAPPY: Thank you. Let’s talk tomorrow.

Grace gives you a grateful hug, before you slip back into bed beside Elliot.

Stay out of it

ELLIOT_SURPRISED: Was that Ozzy and Grace, are they ok?

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Not sure, whatever is going on we should probably stay out of it.

ELLIOT_IDLE: You’re right, it’s not our business.

The two of you settle back into bed.

ELLIOT_FLIRTY: Sweet dreams, {0}.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Sweet dreams.

A wave of relaxation flows over you as you drift off to sleep.

If you sneak out to the daybeds with your OG LI

With your heart racing, you sneak out of the villa, tip toeing across the lawn to the day beds…

There in the bed waiting for you is {0}, his face lights up with excitement as you approach.

{0}_HAPPY: You came!

(A/N: Not yet I didn’t)

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You sound surprised.

{0}_FLIRTY: Just excited.

{0} gawps as he takes in your outfit, his jaw practically hitting the floor.

{0}_FLIRTY: That lingerie… wow.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: You look magnificent, {0}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I know.

RYAN_FLIRTY: Even I can’t find the words, {0}.

RYAN_FLIRTY: I’m speechless. You look gorgeous.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I know.

JAMAL_FLIRTY: {0}, you’re such a snack!

JAMAL_FLIRTY: And I am ravenous.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I certainly hope so.

LEWIE_FLIRTY: I can’t believe what I’m seeing.

LEWIE_HAPPY: Am I in heaven? Because you look like an angel.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m very real, trust me.

{0} pulls back the covers as you slip into bed beside him.

{0}_FLIRTY: So, you picked me.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Sure looks that way.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You did promise an unforgettable night after all.

{0}_HAPPY: I guess I did…

{0}_FLIRTY: And it looks like you made the right choice.

{0}_HAPPY: But seriously, {1}, I’m so glad you’re here with me.

{0}_FLIRTY: Spending time with you is all I want right now.

{0}_IDLE: How are you feeling about being with Elliot? And us being apart?

Flirt it up with {0}

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Honestly, I haven’t even thought about him.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: My mind’s still stuck on you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And what we’re gonna get up to tonight.

{0}_FLIRTY: That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.

{0}_FLIRTY: You read my mind.

Play hard to get

PLAYER_IDLE: Hmmm I dunno.

{0}_SURPRISED: You don’t know?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m still waiting to be wowed by you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It takes a lot to impress me.

{0}_FLIRTY: Oh really? High standards, huh?

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m always up for a challenge.

{0}_FLIRTY: And we do have all night…

Tell him he has serious competition

PLAYER_IDLE: Honestly, Elliot is a lovely guy.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I may be here with you tonight.

PLAYER_IDLE: But you have some serious competition on your hands.

PLAYER_IDLE: Elliot’s grafting hard.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m not worried about Elliot.

{0}_FLIRTY: If he wants to graft then I’ll just graft harder.

{0}_HAPPY: But enough about him.

{0}_FLIRTY: Tonight it’s just you, me and the stars.

You both lay back and look up into the night sky.

{0}_HAPPY: I’ve been thinking a lot about our time in here together.

{0}_FLIRTY: About our first date.

If ROBERTO

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: In that steamy hot tub.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: The way you walked in. So confident and straight to the point.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: The way you slid in. So sexy and confident.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: The way you made a splash. So fun and saucy.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I knew I was in trouble right away.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And then I ate those strawberries out of your hand.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: It was such a turn on.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: At the time I thought, this girl is a lot of fun.

ROBERTO_IDLE: But it didn’t take long for me to realise you’re much more than just that.

ROBERTO_IDLE: When I was telling you all about my life, the way you listened.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I wanted to know the full story.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I’d just met you, but I had this feeling that you genuinely cared.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Cared about who I was, who I am, and who I want to be in the future.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: When I asked to tell you my life story, you told me to keep it short.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Gotta move fast in here.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Normally, I’d have been a little offended.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: But it just felt like you didn’t see my past as relevant.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: You only cared about who I was <i>now</i>.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: And who I want to be in the future.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Well I’ve been thinking a little about my future.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: And I see you in it.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Really?

ROBERTO_SERIOUS: One hundred.

ROBERTO_SURPRISED: On that hot tub date, you told me you and {0} were meant to be.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: You really were paying attention, weren’t you?

ROBERTO_SERIOUS: Of course. I’ll never forget when you said that.

ROBERTO_SURPRISED: My heart sank. I knew I had to win you over.

ROBERTO_SURPRISED: On that hot tub date, you told me {0} had wasted his opportunity with you.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: You really were paying attention, weren’t you?

ROBERTO_SERIOUS: Of course. I’ll never forget when you said that.

ROBERTO_SURPRISED: My heart sang. I knew I had to take my opportunity and not waste it like him.

ROBERTO_SURPRISED: On that hot tub date, you told me you were uncertain about {0}.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: You really were paying attention, weren’t you?

ROBERTO_SERIOUS: Of course. I’ll never forget when you said that.

ROBERTO_SURPRISED: I knew I had to win you over.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And here I am now.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I feel in my heart that what we have is special.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: In the villa or not, I think we will work.

If LJR

{0}_HAPPY: When I asked you about who your perfect partner would be.

{0}_HAPPY: And you said you were looking for someone ambitious.

{0}_HAPPY: And you said you were looking for a best friend.

{0}_HAPPY: And you said you were looking for your soul mate.

PLAYER_HAPPY: You remembered…

{0}_HAPPY: Of course I remembered! Because I felt the exact same way.

{0}_HAPPY: And the more I think about it the more I just know.

{0}_FLIRTY: That I’ve found that person.

{0}_HAPPY: Someone ambitious, who challenges me to be better.

{0}_HAPPY: Someone who I can trust and rely on.

{0}_FLIRTY: To reach the top together.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel like I can talk to you about anything, {1}.

{0}_FLIRTY: Whether we’re coupled up or not, you’re not just the girl I want to be with.

{0}_HAPPY: You’re also my best friend in here.

{0}_HAPPY: I’ve never met someone I’ve connected with on this level.

{0}_HAPPY: And to meet that person on day one!

{0}_FLIRTY: That seems like fate to me.

{0}_IDLE: Who knows maybe we really are soul mates?

{0}_HAPPY: How about you, do you think you and I can work on the outside?

Of course!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Yes! I totally see us together on the outside.

PLAYER_HAPPY: And I can’t wait!

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m so glad you said that, {1}.

{0}_FLIRTY: I can’t wait either.

Let’s just focus on now

PLAYER_IDLE: How about we just focus on the now.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: We are here in the villa, in bed under the stars.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Let’s just be in the present, don’t worry about the future!

{0}_HAPPY: You’re so right, {1}.

{0}_FLIRTY: And there is literally nowhere I would rather be.

I’m not sure yet

PLAYER_IDLE: To be honest I’m not sure yet.

PLAYER_HAPPY: There is so much time left in the villa, anything can happen.

PLAYER_IDLE: I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep.

{0}_IDLE: Oh no, of course!

{0}_HAPPY: We should just go with the flow and see how it goes.

{0}_FLIRTY: But I’ll tell you something else I’ve been thinking about…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: What’s that?

{0}_FLIRTY: Our night in the Hideaway.

{0} turns to face you, glancing at your lips, then looking deep into your eyes.

{0}_FLIRTY: What do you say we relive the moment?

{0}_FLIRTY: What do you say we take things a step further?

Go all the way!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I want you.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m all yours.

{0} wraps his muscular arms around you, pulling your body close to his.

His hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

Your lips meet passionately, then {0} works his way down your neck.

He plants gentle kisses all the way down to your collarbone as you remove each other's clothes one by one…

{0}’s fingers glide up your inner thigh as he begins to kiss your chest, then your stomach.

Making his way further and further down, slipping under the covers…

As you run your fingers through his hair, {0} works his hands back up your body feeling every inch of you.

Then {0} moves back up your body.

You can feel his excitement now as you roll around together in the throws of passion.

You’re completely lost in the moment, your bodies moving together as one as the pleasure builds and builds.

Until together you reach a crescendo of pleasure…

Sinking into the bed as tingles pass through your body like electricity.

Do bits

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about we have some fun?

{0}_FLIRTY: With pleasure…

{0} wraps his muscular arms around you pulling your body close to his.

His hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

Your lips meet passionately, then {0} works his way down your neck.

He plants gentle kisses all the way down to your collarbone as you remove each other's clothes one by one…

{0}’s fingers glide up your inner thigh as he begins to kiss your chest, then your stomach.

Making his way further and further down slipping under the covers.

As you run your fingers through his hair, {0} works his hands back up your body feeling every inch of you.

You’re completely lost in the moment, your bodies moving together as one as the pleasure builds and builds.

Until you reach a crescendo of pleasure, sinking into the bed as tingles pass through your body like electricity.

{0} lays his head on the pillow beside you with a cheeky smile.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: What are you smiling about?

{0}_FLIRTY: I just love making you happy.

Make out

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I want to kiss you.

{0}_FLIRTY: You read my mind.

{0} wraps his arms around you pulling your body close to his.

His hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

You roll around in each other's arms, lost in the moment.

As {0} pulls away he looks deep into your eyes once more.

{0}_FLIRTY: I could do that all night…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: We might not be coupled up, but have the here and now.

You both lay back together in an embrace.

Spoon

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about a cheeky spoon?

{0}_FLIRTY: Sounds perfect.

You turn around and scooch backwards as {0} wraps his muscular arms around you.

He pulls you in close, his whole body surrounding you in a warm, firm embrace.

You feel his breath on the back of your neck, sending tingles down your spine.

{0} soothingly strokes your hair behind your ear as you relax into each other.

You both lay back and look back up at the stars above.

{0}_HAPPY: I could lay here forever.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I wish I could.

PLAYER_HAPPY: But I better get back to the bedroom before they realise I’m gone.

{0}_SAD: I understand, if only we were still in a couple…

{0}_SAD: I think I’m going to stay here tonight.

PLAYER_SAD: Ok, see you in the morning.

{0}_SAD: Sweet dreams, {1}.

You slip away from the daybed and head back towards the villa.

If you sleep on the daybeds with BELLA

With your heart racing, you sneak out of the villa, tip toeing across the lawn to the day beds.

There in the bed waiting for you is Bella, her face lights up with excitement as you approach.

BELLA_HAPPY: You came!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You sound surprised.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Just excited.

Bella takes in your outfit, her jaw practically hitting the floor.

BELLA_FLIRTY: That outfit… wow.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I have no words. Actually I have one.

BELLA_FLIRTY: FIT!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You think so?

BELLA_FLIRTY: I know so!

Bella pulls back the covers as you slip into bed beside her.

BELLA_FLIRTY: So, you picked me.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Sure looks that way.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You did promise an unforgettable night after all.

BELLA_HAPPY: I guess I did…

BELLA_FLIRTY: And it looks like you made the right choice.

BELLA_HAPPY: But seriously, {0}, I’m so glad you’re here with me.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I just wish we were coupled up.

BELLA_IDLE: Do you feel the same?

I absolutely want to couple with you

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I absolutely want to couple up with you, Bella.

BELLA_HAPPY: That’s great to hear!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Honestly, I haven’t even thought about Elliot.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: My mind’s still stuck on you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And what we’re gonna get up to tonight.

BELLA_FLIRTY: You know exactly what a girl wants to hear.

Wouldn’t you like to know?

PLAYER_IDLE: Wouldn’t you like to know, Bella?

BELLA_EMBARRASSED: I would. Guilty.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Too early in the night for me to show you my hand.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m still waiting to be wowed by you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It takes a lot to impress me.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Oh really? High standards, huh?

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’m always up for a challenge.

BELLA_FLIRTY: And we do have all night…

You’ve got serious competition

PLAYER_IDLE: Honestly, you have some stiff competition, Bella.

PLAYER_IDLE: Elliot is a lovely guy.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I may be here with you tonight, but I can’t promise anything beyond that.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Sounds like I need to keep grafting.

PLAYER_IDLE: Elliot is grafting too.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’m not worried about Elliot.

BELLA_FLIRTY: If he wants to graft then I’ll just graft harder.

BELLA_HAPPY: If he wants to play games then let’s play!

BELLA_HAPPY: But enough about him…

BELLA_FLIRTY: Tonight it’s just you, me and the stars.

You both lay back and look up into the night sky.

BELLA_HAPPY: I’ve been thinking a lot about our time in here together.

BELLA_FLIRTY: About the first time we got to have a proper chat, on the terrace.

BELLA_HAPPY: I was telling you about the dream date I would take you out on.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Go to one of my sets and then to my favourite Italian place.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Oh yeah!

BELLA_HAPPY: Then when I asked how you’d want to end the night you said you wanted to go dancing.

BELLA_HAPPY: Then when I asked how you’d want to end the night you said you wanted to have a cosy night in.

BELLA_HAPPY: Then when I asked how you’d want to end the night you said you wanted to have a moonlit walk.

PLAYER_HAPPY: You remembered!

BELLA_HAPPY: Of course I did! I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

BELLA_HAPPY: Whenever I picture going home and doing all the things I love to do.

BELLA_FLIRTY: You’re always there with me.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I wouldn’t want to do them without you.

BELLA_HAPPY: How about you, do you think you and I could work on the outside?

Of course!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Yes! I totally see us together on the outside.

PLAYER_HAPPY: And I can’t wait!

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’m so glad you said that, {0}.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I can’t wait either.

Let’s just focus on now

PLAYER_IDLE: How about we just focus on the now.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: We are here in the villa, in bed under the stars.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Let’s just be in the present, don’t worry about the future!

BELLA_HAPPY: You’re so right, {0}.

BELLA_FLIRTY: And there is literally nowhere I would rather be.

I’m not sure yet

PLAYER_IDLE: To be honest I’m not sure yet.

PLAYER_HAPPY: There is so much time left in the villa, anything can happen.

PLAYER_IDLE: I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep.

BELLA_IDLE: Oh no, of course!

BELLA_HAPPY: We should just go with the flow and see how it goes.

BELLA_FLIRTY: But I’ll tell you something else I’ve been thinking about…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: What’s that?

BELLA_FLIRTY: Our night in the Hideaway.

Bella turns to face you, glancing at your lips, then looking deep into your eyes.

BELLA_FLIRTY: What do you say we relive the moment?

BELLA_HAPPY: How I missed out on a night in the Hideaway with you!

Bella turns to face you, glancing at your lips, then looking deep into your eyes.

BELLA_FLIRTY: What do you say we make up for lost time?

Go all the way!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I want you.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’m all yours.

Bella wraps her arms around you, pulling your body in close to hers.

Her soft hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

Your lips meet passionately as she begins to work her way down your neck.

She plants gentle kisses all the way down to your collarbone as you remove each other's clothing…

Bella’s fingers glide up your inner thigh as she begins to kiss your breasts, then your stomach.

Making her way further and further down, slipping under the covers.

As you run your fingers through her soft hair, Bella works her hands back up your body feeling every inch of you.

You’re completely lost in the moment as the pleasure builds and builds.

Until you reach a crescendo of pleasure, sinking into the bed as tingles pass through your body like electricity.

Bella lays her head on the pillow beside you with a cheeky smile.

Do bits

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about we have some fun?

BELLA_FLIRTY: With pleasure…

Bella wraps her arms around you pulling your body close to hers.

Her hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

Your lips meet passionately, then she works her way down your neck.

She plants gentle kisses all the way down to your collarbone as she slowly removes your underwear.

Bella’s fingers glide up your inner thighs.

You’re completely lost in the moment as the pleasure builds and builds.

Until you reach a crescendo of pleasure, sinking into the bed as tingles pass through your body like electricity.

Bella lays her head on the pillow beside you with a cheeky smile.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: What are you smiling about?

BELLA_FLIRTY: I just love making you happy.

Make out

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I want to kiss you.

BELLA_FLIRTY: You read my mind.

Bella wraps her arms around you, pulling your body close to hers.

Her hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

You roll around in each other's arms, lost in the moment.

As Bella pulls away she looks deep into your eyes once more.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I could do that all night…

You both lay back together in an embrace.

Spoon

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about a cheeky cuddle?

BELLA_FLIRTY: Sounds perfect.

You turn around and scooch backwards as Bella wraps her arms around you.

She pulls you in close in a soft, warm embrace.

You feel her breath on the back of your neck, sending tingles down your spine.

Bella strokes your hair behind your ear as you relax into each other.

You both lay back and look back up at the stars above.

BELLA_HAPPY: I could lay here forever.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I wish I could… but I better get back to the bedroom before they realise I’m gone.

BELLA_SAD: I understand, I wish we could just go to the same bed.

PLAYER_SAD: I know.

BELLA_HAPPY: I think I’m going to stay out here tonight.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Ok, I’ll see you in the morning, Bella.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Sweet dreams, {0}.

You slip out of bed and head back towards the villa.

If you sleep on the daybeds with CHLOE

With your heart racing, you sneak out of the villa, tip toeing across the lawn to the day beds

There in the bed waiting for you is Chloe with a flirty grin.

CHLOE_HAPPY: You came.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You don’t sound surprised.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I had a feeling I’d be seeing you tonight.

Chloe takes in your outfit, her eyes light up with desire.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: That lingerie… wow.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: You’re such a snack, {0}!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You think so?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I’m not complaining, put it that way.

Chloe pulls back the covers as you slip into bed beside her.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: So, you picked me…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Sure looks that way.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You did promise an unforgettable night after all.

CHLOE_HAPPY: And I always keep a promise.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Then it looks like you made the right choice.

CHLOE_IDLE: How are you feeling about leaving Elliot all alone?

Flirt it up with Chloe

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Honestly, I haven’t even thought about him.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: My mind’s been stuck on you…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And what we’re gonna get up to tonight.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: You know exactly what a girl wants to hear.

Play hard to get

PLAYER_IDLE: Hmmm I dunno.

CHLOE_SURPRISED: You don’t know?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m still waiting to be wowed by you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It takes a lot to impress me.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Oh really? You have high standards.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I like that, so do I.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I’m always up for a challenge.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: And we do have all night…

Tell her she has serious competition

PLAYER_IDLE: Honestly, Elliot is a lovely guy.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I may be here with you tonight.

PLAYER_IDLE: But you have some serious competition on your hands.

PLAYER_IDLE: Elliot’s grafting hard.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I’m not worried about Elliot.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: If he wants to graft then I’ll just graft harder.

CHLOE_HAPPY: And if he wants to play games then let’s play!

CHLOE_HAPPY: But enough about him…

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Tonight it’s just you, me and the stars.

You both lay back and look up into the night sky.

CHLOE_HAPPY: I know I haven’t been here long, {0}.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: But I can already tell there is something between us.

PLAYER_HAPPY: How can you tell?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Well, you’re here in my bed for starters.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: And as soon as I was unboxed I felt like there was this raw attraction between us.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Especially since you ditched the others in the pirate challenge to meet us by yourself.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Love that from you. Love a girl who knows how to make moves.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Oh really?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: And now we find ourselves in the same bed… away from our partners.

CHLOE_HAPPY: Seems like fate to me.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Maybe it is.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: So, what do you want to do now?

Do bits!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about we have some fun?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: With pleasure…

Chloe wraps her arms around you pulling your body close to hers.

Her hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

You look at Chloe and seductively bite your lip, remembering it’s her turn on.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I knew you’d remember that.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: You’re so hot, {0}.

Your lips meet passionately, then she works her way down your neck.

She plants gentle kisses all the way down to your collarbone as she slowly removes your panties.

Chloe’s fingers glide up your inner thighs.

You’re completely lost in the moment as the pleasure builds and builds.

Until you reach a crescendo of pleasure, sinking into the bed as tingles pass through your body like electricity.

Chloe lays her head on the pillow beside you with a cheeky smile.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: What are you smiling about?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I just love making you happy.

Kiss

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I want to kiss you.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: You read my mind.

Chloe wraps her arms around you, pulling your body close to hers.

Her hands caress your back gently, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.

You look at Chloe and seductively bite your lip, remembering it’s her turn on.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I knew you’d remember that.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: You’re so hot, {0}.

You roll around in each other's arms, lost in the moment.

As Chloe pulls away she looks deep into your eyes once more.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: I could do that all night…

You both lay back together in an embrace.

Cuddle

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about a cheeky cuddle?

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Sounds perfect.

You turn around and scooch backwards as Chloe wraps her arms around you.

She pulls you in close in a soft, warm embrace.

You feel her breath on the back of your neck, sending tingles down your spine.

Chloe strokes your hair behind your ear as you relax into each other.

You both lay back and look back up at the stars above.

CHLOE_HAPPY: I could lay here forever.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I wish I could… but I better get back to the bedroom before they realise I’m gone.

CHLOE_SAD: I understand, I wish we could just go to the same bed…

PLAYER_SAD: I know.

CHLOE_HAPPY: I think I’m going to stay out here tonight, take in the night sky.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Ok, see you in the morning, Chloe.

CHLOE_FLIRTY: Sweet dreams, {0}.

You slip out of bed and head back towards the villa.

As you approach the villa doors you hear a commotion coming from inside.

Suddenly, Ozzy storms outside, clutching his pillow and muttering to himself.

OZZY_ANGRY: Why won’t she just listen?

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Ozzy? What’s going on?

OZZY_ANGRY: It’s just Grace, she just doesn’t get it.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Get what?

OZZY_ANGRY: Argh it doesn’t matter, I just need some space from her right now.

OZZY_ANGRY: Sorry, {0} I didn't mean to bump into you this way.

OZZY_ANGRY: Let’s chat tomorrow, yeah?

Ozzy heads off towards the swing seat for a night alone.

Quietly, you leave for the villa to slip into a sleeping Elliot’s bed…

[alma-amentet]

I’ve been tagged by @katastronoot @sheirukitriesfandom and @dirty-bosmer (thank you all! 💖) 

This was sitting in my drafts for a while, just forgot to post...

Not tagging anyone ‘cause idk who hasn’t done it yes... Feel free to take if you feel like!

1. are you named after anyone?

Grandma originally named me after her little sister who died in early childhood. She was babysitting and blamed herself for that accident.

But that was too dull, widespread, and didn’t felt mine, so my nomatophobia started progressing. Finally I renamed myself after Fairytopia Barbie. Best friend started calling me Elina in 2008, when I was pretty much into Barbie movies fandom. It stuck, I started telling everyone it was my actual name, even at work. Then finally changed it legally and never regretted. 

Barbie movies is everything, yeah.

2. when was the last time you cried?

One weekend ago.

3. do you have kids?

Nope, and it’s most probable I won’t. Already in my 30s, didn’t start wanting/regretting yet. I like kids, kids are like flowers, but let them bloom in someone else’s garden. 

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

Not really. Being neurodivergent, I have troubles with a sense of humour in general. Many things feel more offensive than funny to me, and if I try it myself, it might be rather insulting than funny... So only with closer friends, I guess.

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

Drinking games, lol.

Not a fan of sports and competitions. I prefer fitness\wellness, where you don’t have to compete or show off. Never liked team games as well. As a kid, I enjoyed tennis or badminton a bit, but again, just for fun.

I do yoga a bit, would like to excercise more though.

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

Style, clothing, hair, accessories. Whether they have some fandom\music\etc merch on. This way I might identify them as the ones like me, the ones worth talking to - at first sight.

I can be generally cautious, even hostile, about people, esp males and elders. And in general, I prefer meeting people online or in some safe spaces / meetups where everyone shares some interests/hobbies/fandoms. It’s easier for me.  

7. eye color?

blue gray. and I do wear color lenses - need them to see things anyway, so why not have fun with colors? Last year I had red ones and wore them casually.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Happy and clever endings that give you food for thought and make you feel feelings - I’ve been a long time Pixar fan, you know.

There was time I’ve been into mystic horrors, some years ago, but now I’m old and tired even for them. LIfe is a dystopia by itself, I need more kind stuff.

(don’t watch movies much these days, I prefer games).

9. any special talents?

Some say I am outstanding and bold,and that I have great creative potential, and that I inspire some people just by being myself... IDK.

10. where were you born?

a city in the mountains

11. what are your hobbies?

I’m a a self-taught seamstress, I’ve been sewing most of my life (because I always loved creating things myself & from my very childhood wanted some unusual clothes that couldn’t be purchased in regular stores). At times, I took comissions, then were 5 years of cosplaying.

I’m into corsetry (waist-training and making corsets myself).

And drawing, of course.

12. do you have any pets?

Nope. Used to have an aquarium in the past.

13. how tall are you?

5’7″ (170 cm) 

14. fave subject in school?

Biology (just in elem and mid, then it became too complex), english. 

I was also one of the best in literature, but I didn’t like it at all. Just figured out how to get exc grades and did it for the sake of being praised. 

15. dream job?

Illustrator, artist.  

[merinsedai]

Happy November!

Actually, I don’t really like November, usually. So many dark and gloomy days where I live; and so long until the weather will improve!

October roundup:

An up and down month. Started off with covid, so felt dreadful and just lived in my bedroom for the best part of a week whilst husbae did the full time job and all the parenting/meals etc etc. what a star he is.

Missed the wedding I was meant to attend as though I’d recovered enough to go, Mr 4 was ill and so I had to stay and look after him. Too late to cancel my hotel booking as well. Right bugger. In 2023, I have had three arrangements to meet actual friends in the flesh and I’ve managed 1 of those. The universe is set on me not having even a modicum of a social life.

I had to cancel my work that I’d booked, then there was no more work until the 30th. Some of that was half term, the rest… well there probably would have been work to pick up if I’d asked but I didn’t so… not a great month in the earnings department. Currently three days into a three week booking and that’s going ok.

Managed the birthday and the party without incident. Thank God for soft play and paying other people to basically do the whole thing for you. Don’t think I could’ve coped with running an old fashioned party at my house. All those 4/5 year olds… no thanks.

Made it to the caravan in Wales for the half term holiday. Mostly fine, as fine as holidays with small Chn can get. Miss 7 developed an appalling cold which she has subsequently passed to me. It is currently sitting in my chest and making me sound like a 40 a day smoker. Nice.

All that nice self care stuff I set up in September (the make up and body care stuff) was derailed when covid hit and hasn’t really picked up again. Turns out losing habits is far easier than maintaining. A bit of mascara here and there to stop me looking truly horrendous but not much else. Must get back to it. Still closing my rings, probably should up the goal to make it more challenging.

Actually managed to complete my October challenge- the sandtober daily drawing prompts. It was good. I did almost all of them the night they were ‘due’ c10pm, since inspiration never struck until then. It seems I still require the impetus of a deadline to actually get my arse in gear and do something. Did I improve over the month? Mm perhaps. I was exceptionally rusty, the only things I’d drawn in the past decade or so were shit renditions of Peppa Pig or the Octonauts for the toddlers. Toddlers are easily pleased, luckily. Also learned (no… confirmed. I already knew it) that I lack any creativity, because if there isn’t something to copy then I can’t do it. If there *is* something to copy, I can produce vague facsimiles (as long as no one is looking for shading or whatever) with varying degrees of success.

For November’s “thing”, I’ve signed to to a writing challenge. I don’t know why really, see above about the lack of creativity I possess. I just… came out a heart scan at the hospital and thought ‘fuck it’ and signed up. I’m even less practised in writing than I am in drawing (though I read voraciously and everyone knows that’s ‘so helpful for building vocabulary etc’ 😅) but… we shall see how it progresses.

OH and storm Babet blew down a massive bough from one of the old ash trees in my garden. It’s currently sitting and destroying the lawn, just waiting for the tree surgeons to come and take care of it and check that the rest of the tree is still ok.

This is a fooking big branch. We have a decent sized garden and it’s taking up most of it. The satellite branches we’ve removed already are six ft long. And they’re like twigs compared to the main thing.

[clarissadalloways]

Feeling very reflective today and I think it’s due in part to the fact that i’m turning 26 in a week and a half and idk..I think this is the first year in a few where I’m just..very happy about where I’m at. Sure, I’m not where I want to be in terms of career but I do really enjoy my current job and love the people I get to work with. I left a very toxic workplace last fall for my current job and I have never, for a second regretted the decision to do so. I went through a tough breakup in November and have been working on (it’s definitely still a process), healing from that. But on the other, hand I’ve got so much to be thankful for, I have a dear friend back in my life and a friend group who inspires me and brings me so much joy and whom I love so very much. While I’m not working professionally in the arts at the moment, I make sure that I do something that fulfills me creatively every single day and since doing so, have felt so much happier and have felt so in touch with myself and who I am as an artist. Maybe more so than I have in years. I made the trip to New York that I had been wanting to do, and told myself (at the beginning of 2023) that I was going to do and the stars aligned in every single way possible, because not only did I get to see Bebe perform but chat with her for a while and network myself on said trip (and also just be in a city that I love so so much). Outside of that, I’ve also gotten to see some great theatre, eat fabulous food, DANCE, sing, laugh….and truly feel more in touch with who I am than ever before. I love the people in my life and I feel ready for 26. If you had asked me a week ago…I would have told you that I was scared, but I have so much to be proud of and I’m definitely prepared to feel those fears and anxieties again but that’s okay with meeee because I feel ready for 26 babyyyyy

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[clovariia]

here’s my 2022 art summary! thank you for all the support, everyone! happy new year! 🥳♥

i’ll self-indulgently ramble about my thoughts on the year under the cut!

so..........2022. i feel like i have more thoughts about the year than i usually do. i’m not even sure where to start with this because there’s just so many!!! a lot of personal things happened this year, but that included some really good ones. i think 2022 might’ve been the best year ever for me, which is super awesome!!!!!!

i started the year by FINALLY doing something about my mental health issues. i finally got things diagnosed, got counseling, and got meds. this was the best choice i’ve ever made. it totally transformed my life and made me an entirely new person...or maybe, it finally made me able to show the person who’s been buried under the layers of depression and anxiety all this time. if you’re considering doing something similar with your own life next year, DO IT!!! it’s so important to get the help you need!!!

in may, i impulsively decided to start sharing my art and writing online again. i guess it wasn’t THAT impulsive, because it’s something i’ve fantasized about doing for a very long time...but actually DOING IT felt impossible for so long. for more context, i had an art account on instagram back in middle school/early high school. it never went very far and even though i had some good experiences from it, it ended up making me feel insecure too. i wasn’t in a position where i could comfortably share my stuff yet. ever since i stopped posting on there, i’ve barely shared the stuff i make with anyone — even most of my friends had hardly seen any of my art or writing before. making these new art accounts on twitter and tumblr was a huge step for me.

one of the main issues i’ve been lectured for a lot in counseling is that i consistently and stubbornly refuse to let myself share my opinions, thoughts, and interests. i tend to hide everything i care about into a little box in my mind, like i’m trying to protect it from the outside world and any potential judgment. it’s probably due to a mixture of neurodivergency and anxiety. i still bury my thoughts a lot, but these art accounts were a MASSIVE step forward for me. i finally started sharing something i consider to be very vulnerable — my interest in cartoons — with other people again. i didn’t even talk to my friends about it before i made these accounts. i just silently lurked in fandoms, wishing i could reach out to these people who were like me, but i never let myself until this year.

the owl house episode king’s tide airing was a big turning point for me. it was shortly after i made my art accounts, and it really made something SHIFT in my mind. i got filled with so much creative inspiration and i managed to WRITE something again! “a rainy night” was my first toh fic and the first cartoon fic i actually let myself finish. sharing it was terrifying and thrilling, and it marked a new beginning for me. people ENJOYED what i was making for this interest i’ve been hiding for so long! people SUPPORTED my self-indulgence! it was so exciting and such a relief. for the people who have been around since the early stages of my account: thank you for the support. half my motivation to keep writing comes from how kind everyone has been about my work.

i got really fixated on hexsquad thanks to king’s tide (although that was brewing in my head even before they all interacted as a group of five in canon, tbh) and they gave me the most creative energy i’ve had in years. i went from having both writer’s block and art block to writing AND drawing on a basically daily basis, and that makes me SO HAPPY!!! having writer’s block since around 2019 was horrible, and i’m so relieved to finally be free of it again. it’s so nice to do stuff with my biggest passion again. i missed writing SO MUCH. it’s helped me process some personal issues a lot, and i’m really glad that i have that outlet for my feelings again.

besides my own personal projects, i helped mod four seasons: a huntlow zine! i also contributed art and a fic. i got involved in this project in may, shortly before i made my art accounts. i applied to be the beta reader mod SUPER impulsively and made my first connections in the toh fandom through it. later on, i eventually became an organizer mod and helped out with the social media too. i could say SO MUCH about the huntlow zine. i’ve wanted to be a part of zines for so many years, it’s always been a major goal, so i’m really proud of myself for finally doing that year! i’m so grateful that the other mods took a chance on my total nobody self and let me join the mod team. the huntlow zine was one of the main things that defined my 2022, and i hold it very close to my heart for being the thing that got me to start sharing my work again. i met so many incredibly kind and talented people through it, and even some members of the toh crew saw the zine when it came out!!! going from hiding all my interests for years to having the crew of the series i love so much support my work was SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!! truly a highlight of the year!!!

besides the huntlow zine, i was also a part of the hexes and o’s zine! i contributed a fic and a doodle. it got completed before the huntlow zine did, so it was the first time i got to see my work in a zine. the day i got sent the finished zine pdf and got to see my writing in such beautiful fancy formatting, alongside everyone else’s pretty pieces, was another highlight of the year. it kind of made me think, “oh man...i finally made it” HAHA!!! i finally accomplished my goal of being in a zine!! it was such a wonderful experience and the entire mod team was so supportive and sweet. i’m so grateful that i got to be a part of it.

for other fandom-related projects from 2022, i got accepted to the toh grimoire zine! i’ve been working on my fic for it and i’m super excited to see how this project turns out! it’s such an honor!

as for stuff that didn’t require applications, i participated in the amphibia tribute zine! it’s not publicly released yet, but the wip version is beautiful! i’m excited to share my piece for it eventually! i also contributed art to the toh tarot card collab on twitter with a bunch of my mutuals, which was really fun too! thank you for the patience throughout the physical health issues i had this autumn! i also wrote a fic for the hexes and o’s secret santa event! it was so much fun to participate in a fandom secret santa for the first time! i definitely want to do more of them in the future!

some other misc things i want to mention from this year include:

i made four animatics and finally shared the ones i made in 2021 too! i hope to complete more in 2023!

i completed a fic with multiple chapters for the first time in SO MANY YEARS...thank you for the support on willow’s summer scrapbook! hopefully i can do more stuff like this in 2023!

i wrote a oneshot for each day of huntlow week!!! i’m so proud of myself for managing to do that!!!!! i’ve never completed an entire ship week before!

besides huntlow week, i also wrote a fic for gustholomule week, drew something for raeda week, and drew something for lumity’s anniversary...so you can count that as my contribution to lumity week, i guess. ship weeks are so much fun, hopefully i can participate in more of them next year!

i also want to share my current ao3 statistics from 2021, 2022, and overall.

it’s really interesting to compare all of these. these numbers aren’t entirely accurate because there’s stuff i haven’t posted/never finished, but it’s a good enough indication of my progress with writing this year. i wrote over 100k words!!!!!!!!! THAT’S SO INSANE!!! I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT!!! my past self would’ve never imagined this!!! i wonder what these numbers will look like by the end of 2023?

for 2023...my main hope is to just keep this momentum from 2022 going. i have some personal goals too (and some personal accomplishments i didn’t mention in this post) but my art/writing resolutions for 2023 are:

finish making my hexsquad solo animatics

start my big multichapter post-canon au toh fic after the show ends (i’ve already been working on planning that a bit)

write more multichapter fics in general

get better at replying to ao3 comments quickly...oops

write more stuff for my non-toh fandoms, especially amphibia!!!

get better at procreate (i still only use it for doodling...oh yeah, buying myself an ipad and procreate was another highlight of 2022!)

do at least one piece of colored digital art a month

write more consistently...develop better habits with that. i’m hoping to prioritize writing more than art in 2023, but we’ll see what happens.

maybe start doing more with this tumblr blog (posting meta analysis stuff, maybe?) and my new art instagram? i only made my art instagram as a backup to follow my mutuals in case twitter died (since that site has been such a mess recently) but i feel like i could find a use for it if i tried.

i’ve already rambled for long enough and i doubt anyone read this far, but if you did, thank you so much for all the support this year!!! it’s been such a huge year for me and i’m so proud of myself for the progress i’ve made in my personal life and with my hobbies!!! it wouldn’t have been possible without all the kindness people have shown me this year!

i guess the only proper way to end this post is to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! see you in 2023!!! 💕💕💕

[jngsjngs]

(if its not too personal) what was the specific instance that not only made you want to write hsc but to share it with us too?

i’ve always loved to write and in all honesty knew i was pretty good at it (if only because i had the support of so many incredible teachers over the years) but the most i had ever done was the occasional essay and a group project in high school in which we had to write a script and record it (sort of like an audio book). although daydreaming was a daily occurrence that project was my only attempt at fiction for several years because the thought of putting words down on paper seemed oddly perplexing. i genuinely thought nothing i had to say was worth anyone’s time so publishing my work or even reading it aloud was an impossibility.

in hindsight a lot of my insecurities stemmed from a severe case of imposter syndrome (and it’s still a burden i carry now). i don’t think i learned the significance of sharing until i took my first creative writing course a few years later. so many of my peers poured their hearts into the pieces they brought to class and i would have never known that sense of community had they not been brave enough to invite other people into their world. i’m not sure if i was inspired to write hsc solely because of that but at the very least all of these experiences gave me the confidence to believe it was actually possible.

at that point of my life my depression had taken a turn for the worst and the only place i could find solace was in stories. i read so many books and watched just as many shows but after finishing them i realized that there were only a few i felt deeply enough. something about that was incredibly isolating. looking back it was probably because mainstream media wasn’t discussing mental health to the extent that they do now so i had no idea other people struggled with it the way that i did. i came up with hsc because i wanted to be a part of that conversation in case even one person could relate.

sometimes i feel selfish because i wish i received more comments and sometimes i’m sad because a few of the ones i do receive are criticisms (sometimes constructive and sometimes not). often i get frustrated because i’m not the best at execution and even more often than that i get excited because i can recognize how much i’ve improved. most days i’m happy because those who reach out (on tumblr and ao3 in particular) are only ever kind. but i am always content because i am able to feel deeply regardless, and because i never feel as alone as i once did.

as i’ve said before rei as a character isn’t based entirely on me as a person but it’s only natural that my experiences helped shaped some of hers. i think that’s the most important part. after all, the people who read hsc come from all over the world and have lived so many experiences of their own. despite our differences there is something about the story that brings us together and it’s for that reason i continue to write it. thank u for ur patience and support all these years. i don’t think i’ve quite mastered how to express my gratitude but i hope u know wherever u are that i appreciate u.

p.s. the sun is rising and i have not slept so this might be totally incoherent (the lack of punctuation doesn’t help at all i’m sure) i apologize for the strain on ur eyes but if u made it this far i am all the more grateful

[hanjisick]

hi, it’s seungmin fic anon (not so anon anymore)! i created a blog because i felt really encouraged reading your response to my ask. funny thing, i kinda messed up and made a secondary blog instead of changing my main blog, and i panicked and decided to copy everything over because secondary blogs can’t interact with others thru asks or whatever...i wish tumblr was more transparent on that ig lol. or maybe that’s just me.

anyway, thank you so much for saying all that you did because i felt pretty motivated. i haven’t done something like this in a long time, as in try my genuine best at something since life has not been so great for me in the past few years. :,) i’m happy to hear that you don’t receive hate! i’ve been scared of it since i guess imo it’s easily sent when it’s under the guise of tumblr’s anon feature. but i’ve gotten the courage to make a blog and try writing stuff to share thanks to your kind words, and i hope i can make good writings for the time i’m on tumblr. creating it was a lot of fun with the aesthetics and all (i took some inspiration from your blog and credited you for it), and it helped take my mind off some things i couldn’t stop thinking about for a while and all.

i have forgotten how fun it is to do this kind of stuff. i have to emphasize on that because personal life has been hard and i’ve forgotten how to have fun these days other than read fics like yours and dabble in music. so i’d like to thank you for believing in me and giving me the courage to at least try my shot. i mean, it was so much fun i created this blog in a day (as in the links and aesthetics, which is crazy to me).

i hope also with this blog, i’ll start being less...perfectionist about writing, and also stop applying that kind of mindset to a lot of things in life. it can be good but it’s been unhealthy for me for a while since sometimes i do something that’s not worth it to me personally to perfection, and then i work myself to the bone for it. i understand with just staying away from writing for a long time because i have so many unfinished stories in the back burner for months and years on end, all just because they’re not absolutely perfect.

i’ve never thought about comfort zones in writing that way, but it really is true. the only thing is i don’t want to run out of ideas or inspiration, and i don’t want to retell the same story or use the same format a lot. it’s not bad but i want to try to be more creative sometimes. maybe with a blog, i’ll be able to grow as a writer with new ideas from my readers.

thank you so much for the support over my last two asks. you have no idea how much that meant to me. i hope we get to interact more in the future :)) i’m posting my first drabble soon after this ask so i hope you’ll enjoy it when you see it! i got motivated for some reason and wrote it all from scratch today. i also hope my messages (no longer anons haha) cheer you up as well as they did for me 💖💖

i’m so so proud of you for starting a blog! :) i guess you aren’t exactly seungmin fic anon are you. im omw to go like every piece of content u create!

i wish you so much luck on your new blog and hopefully this will send my followers to also support you and your works. i read your first piece and it’s so beautiful! you’re a lovely writer just like i predicted <3

i’ll always look forward to your content and try to support you as much as i can, my fellow writer friend :)

[katevd]

Dear Trevor

Today is strange.

As soon as we lost Trevor, I gained something. I started watching his videos, everything I had missed in 10 years. Through my grief I created. I started podcasting, I started doing what I had been putting off because why would anyone give a fuck about me or my stuff? I lost that fear. I could not waste my pain, a month and a half of mourning my childhood hero, and even if it was at the end of my childhood, I still needed Trevor and WKUK to be there for me. They became my adult Sesame Street. They became my happy space. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen season one of WKUK, blaring it throughout my house while home alone, staying home from high school my senior year dying my hair bleach blonde, listening to the Never song rushing into the living room saying ‘Did he just tell them how to make meth?’ They became my happy space.

And again, they are my safe space. The boiz, they have seen me in chat, read my comments. All of them have laughed at something I said…just not Trev. I found their videos and community after. I wish Trev would have seen me around, seen me as a fan. I’m sure he’d have some funny thing to say about my Tumblr or being friends with Carlotta but I wouldn’t mind, he’d be right. I wish I could tell him how he changed my life, saved my life during my parents’ divorce and my own PTSD bullshit. I felt like the coolest kid I knew because I watched a sketch group on FUSE. A part of a special club for dark humour and smart jokes.

I pray that his family is ok today; I pray that his son will grow up knowing his father was the coolest guy around, and everyone who knew him knew this too. We have hours and hours of him on video. The last year of his life spent with his best friends talking about their great show. What a blessing that the pandemic brought to us, 5 of the most talented guys I know sharing their experiences with us. And made us laugh.

I send love to his friends, Zach, Sam, Darren and Timmy. I pray that knowing how loved their friend and founder is bringing them some comfort. I thank them for all their work they’ve continued to do. They have strength, wild abundance of strength to march forward as they did. And to all the fans who kept on as well, we’re all much more powerful than we think.

Here are some things I think could help today:

1)      Write something, anything. A stupid story, something you’ve been meaning to write for a long time but never got started. Being creative this weekend has helped, tons. Even a nasty poem will work. As Trev says ‘You gotta make cum to be cum!”

2)      Call your family. Text an old friend. Tell them you’re thinking about them, love them. Ask them how their summer is going. Reach out to someone you’ve been meaning to say hello to. Tell the people you love you love them now. Have no regrets today.

3)      Open the door for someone. Tell someone they look good. Just spread kindness, we all need it more than ever. Was Trevor the best guy all the time? No. But was he good person some of the time, yeah. He loved his wife and his kid and he loved his work. Spread that love around.

4)      Be grateful for today. Be grateful for the things you have, even if it’s very little. Say out loud ‘I am grateful for ___” let the universe know how thankful you are and the things you hold dear.

5)      And finally, just jump into a sketch. Listen to a Trev song, watch some of the 24 hour marathon show, just be with him today. Leave a uplifting comment. Something like that to share the love.

                   Trevor, I love you and I miss you. I wish I got to say something to you while you were with us but now I get to bug your friends and I’m sure you’d laugh at that. You saved my life. You made my life worth living. You were the light at the end of the teenage angst tunnel and without you I’d be lame like everyone else. Keep watching over all of us dolllickers and inspiring us to be fearless, brave, funny and smart. We miss you so much, but your light keeps giving.

Love forever, Kate.