#I’ve posted the second to last drawing a while back but ain’t no way anybody remember that

[wuzhere75]

Rural Mississippi high school defensive tackler who is also a furry releases they might be slightly bi and genderqueer and goes to art school. She also has the beast in him and on him and actively consuming him

Going to try to start doing sketch pages for the characters of my head world

Anyways here’s some old art of her, first two are from 2021, the others are from 2022

[shimmershae]

Just watched the episode and I’m going to have a lot of thoughts for you, most of them probably bordering on incoherence (LOL) so this is your last chance to nope on out of this post because I’m going to go ahead and put everything else behind a cut to save the eyes that do not want to see any  spoilers at all.  Unlike mine, that very much wanted to see but in a lot of cases?  Could not see shit, but I digress.

Shae’s stream of consciousness coming at you in 3-2-1.  

First of all, can I saw how good it is to have my show back again?  Like, no.  I don’t quite have Season 5 levels of excitement about the new/last season, but it is definitely nice to have all these characters back.  

So all these thoughts of mine.  Okay.  Bear with me because there be a whole lot of them, lol.  

My immediate impression as the episode opened was WHOA.  Such a cool shot of Daryl with one light wing, one dark wing (representing the two sides to Daryl maybe--the man of honor versus the man he was raised to be, hmm?) looking out over some dark vista of something.  Seriously.  It’s dark.  My room is also dark at the moment and still I was squinting to see.  To make out what I’m “looking” at.  I really, really hope the rest of this season isn’t this hard to make out.  

Is that a tank?  Kinda sorta a callback to Rick’s first episode?  If so, cool.  If not, well.  Us fans have always put way more thought into things.  For real.  Change my mind.  

Holy intense eye contact, Batman!  Daryl Dixon has literally never looked at anyone--not BethusConLeah--in quite the same smoldering way as he looks at Carol.  It’s next level.  I don’t know why people be fooling themselves into thinking different.  

Let’s see.  I can make out--besides Daryl, Maggie, and that face mask dude I already forgot the name of--Kelly, Magna, Jerry (who’s that with him?), and Carol.  Sorry.  My world, like Daryl’s, inevitably narrows to Carol.  She’s loking fierce and fine AF per usual.  

Was that Rosita I noticed rewinding to relive Daryl eye-fucking Carol?  

I’m guessing this is the army base they talked about in 10C.  

That Walker perking up like “I smell food--pancakes and bacon and oohhhh” has me giggling inappropriately right off the bat.  WTF.  

Look at all my fabulous ladies tiptoeing through that Walker minefield.  And Carol spotting that gun that might be useful right away.  Listen, if you don’t think her mind ain’t always ten steps ahead of everybody else’s, you’d be wrong.  

So.  Are these Walkers just so old and feeble not even the call of fresh meat attracts them?  Because just tiptoeing through their midst without the knockoff Lady Gaga meatsuits or skin masks has never really worked before that I can remember.  

I just want to see most of this season.  Is that really too much to ask?  Don’t X-Files and Game of Thrones us, Angela.  Please and thank you very fucking much.  

Okay.  Is the one drop of blood thing making anybody else have 28 Days Later vibes?  Kinda?  Sorta?  No?  Just me?  Okay then.  Carry on.  

Wait a minute, though.  How they be explaining how Daryl keeeps acquiring all these new tats all the time?  Hmm?  It’s like they just quit giving a shit about continuity in these latter seasons.  

I mean.  Do Walkers sleep now?  LMAO.  What is this?  I guess they’re constantly evolving?  

There’s my baby Lydia.  Love my smol bean.  

Alright though.  I love to see the ladies of TWD kick some ass.  It’s very gratifying.  Gimps would never.  Thank you, Angela.  

Clever, resourceful, calm and collected, quick thinking Carol to the rescue!  Seriously.  Her haters must be withering away inside with absolute envy.  

Hey, ya’ll.  Remember when Carol was still mastering her sharpshooting skills at the Prison yard and shot at Rick’s feet?  Her little “sorry, sorry”?  LOL.  If Rick could only see her now.  Wait.  He already knew what so many of his stans refuse to acknowledge--Carol=ultimate survivor and true savior to the group many times over.  

Maggie’s got herself a gun, too.  Go my badass girls.  

Of course, Carol’s got everybody’s back.  Of fucking course, Daryl’s got hers even when everybody else seem frozen in some kind of awe or stupification or something.  Microcosm of the whole damn show right there.  

Carol’s like “here’s your knives, love of my life.”   

Eh.  Maybe that’s just me.  

Nah.  She’s totally thinking it, too.  

YAS!  YAS!  Norman Reedus and Melissa McBride with the top billing.  How very far my babies have come.  

Listen.  I miss all the characters we’ve lost.  Absolutely.  But I love the ones that are still with us, that have been with us for so very long so hard.  Whether I love their stories or decisions or not.  

Is that THE Alexandria sign?  That sign’s been through some shit.  

DOG!  Daryl kneeling to embrace our Grimes babies has me all up in my feels.  And how cute is Dog getting all excited and making sure he’s the first one there to welcome back, Daddy?  

Hershel is literally just as puppy dog cute as Glenn ever was.  Really some Grade A casting.  

What did Maggie call Mr. T?  Ducky?  Dougie?  Sometimes with Maggie?  I really cannot tell.  Anyway.  He’s Mr. T. for me until I find out differently, probably through rewatching with close captioning, lol.  

Maggie’s got more people.  So.  Some new redshirts to sacrifice for plot purposes.  I don’t know if I should bother learning their names or not. 

I seem to remember Meridian being mentioned in one of the episode synopses.  

Sophia’s hair tie around Carol’s neck will never fail to be an emotional throat punch.  My heart.  

“They come at night and by the time you see them, you’re already dead.”  Welp.  Guess that means we ain’t seeing shit for at least this first third of the season, lol.  Very horror-eque though.  

“You’re leaving to fight ghosts.”  Aaron, to Maggie.  So I see Aaron’s the type to get the hell outta Dodge when the Boogeyman comes calling, hahaha.  Least he was.  In the old world.  

Rosita’s pissed off expression at Gabe’s decision to volunteer for the so-called suicide mission gives me life.  

My baby Carol is tired AF of suicide missions.  You can tell.  Also?  Methinks she has something to prove to Daryl here.  Or at least feels like she does.  

Dog with his little tactical vest.  I love it.  

I guess I get why they had Carol and Rosita stay behind.  They had to more evenly split up the badassery to make things more fair and balanced, lol.  

Okay.  So Negan’s definitely earned everybody’s disdain.  But they’re being woefully short-sighted by not at least hearing the dude out.  Isn’t he at least native to the area?  

“That is God telling us to turn around.”  I’m actually on Negan’s side with this one, but Gabe answering him with “I’m pretty sure he would have run that past me first” has me howling with laughter.  Father Gabe has gone straight up savage in these last couple of seasons.  Rosita’s influence, perhaps?  

I see what Angela is doing.  Trying to make Negan the voice of reason.  In this particular case?  It’s kind of working.  I’m still ultimately on Maggie’s side with this though BECAUSE GLENN.  

Imagine showing up to work and unironically dressing like a storm trooper every day.  Excuse me while I LOL.  

Even in the ZA, there’s bullshit paperwork.  

“Pumpkin colored spacesuit.”  Good one, Ezekiel.  

LOL forever.  I love Princess.  

“Michonne.  Our Michonne shut people out of Alexandria for years.”  Timely reminder that choices aren’t always perfect.  Neither are people.  

WTF is reprocessing?  Sounds ominous.  LMAO at Eugene’s “Okay.  We gotta go.”  

What in the actual hell with all those bagged, squirming undead?  Creepy AF in that subway tunnel.  

Should I just go ahead and call that the Easter bunny?  We’ve had some version of it pop up since Season 1.  

Is it stubborn pride with Maggie or what?  Why go through with something when all signs point toward the wisdom of stopping?  You can argue that she’s acting similarly to Carol last season, but there’s a huge difference here folks.  Carol did her damndest to Lone Wolf that shit and minimize the danger to those she loved.  Maggie’s straight up enlisting those she “cares about” to carry out her mission of revenge or vengeance, what have you. Let’s see if she gets near the amount of hate for it.  Personally, I don’t blame her for her feelings one bit.  They are valid.  But her knowingly drawing the others into the game?  That’s my sticking point.  That’s how she and Carol differ, even if some people refuse to see or accept it.  Anyway.  Hopping right on off my soapbox.  

“Why don’t you get up on your little tippy toes and try?”  Omigosh, I’d dying.  When I tell you I about passed out with laughter, I do not exaggerate.  I should hate Negan forever and I do.  Really.  But I adore JDM and he frequently makes me LOL.  He’s made Negan entertaining if not completely redeemable since Angela took over and more layered so I say kudos.  

He has a point about Maggie playing dictator.  Damn you, show, for slanting the writing just that smidgen that makes Negan make sense over his victim.  I guess, though, it’s better this way.  Gives both characters more shades of gray.  

“He’s a dick but he makes sense.”  I feel like this is Angela calling us all out when we dare to harbor any lasting resentment toward Negan for what he did to Glenn.  

Speaking of--Negan.  You deserved Daryl’s punch to the mouth.  You just went a bridge too damn far.  

“Keep pushing me, Negan.  Please.”  Warning shots fired, Asshole.  You better watch yourself around the Widow Rhee.  

Have I mentioned how much I love Princess?  Her shipping the Commonwealth guards is killing me, lol.  I can’t wait ‘til she meets Carol and Daryl.  She’s going to have their number in two seconds flat.  

I like Ezekiel and Princess as a duo.  I’m not saying romantically necessarily.  I just like them in scenes together because they’re fun.  There’s sort of a protective indulgence Ezekiel seems to telegraph whenever they’re in scenes together.  Like he’s like don’t hurt this one.  I don’t know.  For all these words I’ve written, I can’t quite find the ones to adequately describe what I mean.  

The wall of the lost gives me such Battlestar Galactica feels.  What sad thoughts it inspires.  

Eugene in that Commonwealth gear.  Omigosh, lol.  So did they just sneak up and take Princess’s little Commonwealth ship’s gear when they were sneaking off on their own to have a quickie?  

Princess finding that note for Yumiko on the wall actually gave me chills.  Yeah.  I’m easy.  Just the suggestion of someone getting reunited with lost family gets me all up in my feels.  Yumiko saying “I have to stay”?  I felt that.  

Oh no.  Dog ran off!  Somebody protect my favorite fictional puppy.  Of course, Daryl goes after him.  He’s always been the sweet one.  Merle said it.  

Eh.  Negan taking Maggie’s hand at the end there would have smacked too much of Negan Sue and Maggie’s biggest plot of the season would have been prematurely dealt with so I get why they did what they did.  But c’mon.  It’s not really that big of a cliffhanger, is it?  

Okay, so Angela calls those sleeping beauty Walkers “Lurkers” and I get it.  Apparently they’re a bigger deal in the comics, but I really don’t remember seeing them all that much on the actual show.  Somebody jog my memory.  

Of fucking course, you can actually see what’s happening in the inside the episode clips.  I wish we could choose to view the episode with that lighting because some of us be blind.  And this time I mean in the more literal sense.  Not the figurative one.  

Anyway.  I’m going to stop trying to write a novel for ya’ll and move on to better things.  Like maybe a nap.  Maybe some early dinner.  I don’t know.  I’m tired AF and need a little recharge.    

Before I go, though?  Overall impression of the episode?  I liked it.  There were parts that I loved (all the ladies being badass, every second of Carol, Daryl reuniting with the Grimes babies and Dog, all things Princess, some of Negan’s one-liners about had me busting a gut, Rosita serving looks, Kelly and Lydia getting to be badass too) and parts I didn’t love (not being able to see a damn thing, Angela trying to tip the scales in Negan’s favor, not enough Carol or Aaron or Rosita, no reunion between Aunt Carol and the Grimes babies even though that picture floating around suggests it was at least shot, not being able to see a damn thing, all the Alexandria people playing follow the leader for Maggie when she’s been gone 6 years and Daryl’s right there--hell, even Father G deserves the honor over her because it’s obvious they’re not exactly on the same wavelength anymore).  

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’m just glad to have our show back.    

Later, lovelies.  

[phantomchick]

Challenge: list the WIPs you promised you’d update, and why you haven’t yet

I was tagged by my darling mutual and friend @frownyalfred!

This one seems fun so I'll tag a bunch of people:

@whetstonefires @mikkeneko @lurkinglurkerwholurks @audreycritter @boostergoldsmissingarm @medusaceratops @unpretty @audreycritter @sohotthateveryonedied @oh-mother-of-darkness @huilian @yuzukimist

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I tell myself I don't need anybody (But the truth is nobody needs me)

The reason for this one is actually justifiable! Because of my gameplan for the plot of the fic in order to continue it I need to finish my readthrough of ALL of the modern captain atom comics, a bunch of the crisis event chemo Bludhaven comics and maybe a couple of other ancillary comics of that era too, before I even get to writing the nitty gritty of the fic!

Unfortunately my online readthrough stalled for a while because of IRL difficulties and I've yet to get back into my swing there. Nonetheless I'm still very hyped for this fic once I have everything ready for it.

The second chapter of this is actually all but ready to publish!

Due to the fact it's plot relevant but not connected to either the Captain Atom/Chemo Drop canon which I'm still in the process of untangling for the sake of the plot.

The only things left to worry about for the second chapter before I publish is if it A. breaks up the mood of the fic that was set up in chapter 1 too much, it's a bit of an interlude so the mood is drastically different from the gritty feel of the first chapter and B. some minor characterisation details in the dialogue of one of the characters towards the end of the second chapter. Basically it just needs a little more editing on a paragraph or two and then we're set to post.

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Maelstrom

I actually told people I was unlikely to update it until I got some inspiration so this maybe doesn't quite fit the bill of the challenge.

Nonetheless, the major reason I haven't updated this one is I thought of a way to start off the second chapter after waking up one day but didn't write it down so I forgot and now every time I attempt to start it there's a vague but strong sense of subconscious dis-satisfaction.

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Call Me

I actually came to several conclusions recently about just why it is I've struggled to update this when I said I would!

_

I wrote the first chapter of this wip like 3 years ago and haven't updated it since (god that feels really terrible to say! I'm sorry you guys) but anyway I wrote it three years ago and have been poking at it forlornly ever since as the comments pile up unanswered (Again I'm so sorry haha).

Suddenly! Hope shone! And I wrote 2k of the second chapter out of nowhere just last week!

Now I really don't wanna lose that momentum and, well, hope to ride it enough to actually get the fic's second part done!

But at the same time it's hard to write when you don't really have any desires for scenes you can't wait to include or get to. At least that's what I've found about myself. Like I mostly just want to resolve the fic which I didn't in the first chapter but that's not very concrete as writing motivation goes y'know? Or not concrete enough to INSPIRE apparently.

So it occurred to me oh shit wait I suddenly know why writing this is such a struggle!

Originally when I wrote that first chapter of Call Me it was because I was inspired by @firefrightfic and @skalidra's co written fic Raw Nerve

Which is an abo fic wherein Jason Todd (robin of my heart) gets assaulted by Black Mask and calls Roy for help from the safety of one of his safehouses and then Roy comes in and like helps Jason recover and then helps him kill black mask - which, great fic just super well written and fun

But I was like, Craving the batdad hardcore at the time because the combined excellence @audreycritter, @medusaceratops, @fuyunoakegata and @cerusee were spoiling me with that!

So I wanted to write a version with the same premise but if Jason had called Bruce instead of Roy? And where it wasn't ABO though I only really changed that bit because I have no idea how to write that especially (or how to write in general) so I decided to make things easier on myself at least a little bit

AND THUS!

In the first chapter I already had Jason call Bruce and got to have Bruce have that major moment of r e a l i s a t i o n that was so fun in the fic I was originally drawing inspiration from, y'know?

So now it's like gah, I got the realisation whump and the hurt/comfort already what else do I want here?

Because honestly Bruce ain't gonna kill black mask this we know and writing someone beat the shit out of a rapist while fun in theory isn't actually something that gets my muse to perk up?

So right now the way I'm approaching the wip is just, thinking up potentially fun scenarios to include in the second chapter and seeing where they take me. At the very least it's melted from the cryofreeze my writer's block placed it in and instead of just chipping at it futilely I feel like I'm writing/making more progress with it again finally.

I know many of the people who love the fic think I left it in a good spot and don't think it necessarily needs a sequel chapter but to me it's unfinished, so I want to complete it no matter what!

[amphtaminedreams]

All The Tattoos I Couldn’t Really Afford

Hi to anyone who’s reading!

I thought I’d write about my tattoos a lil bit.

Partly because I’d like to talk generally about tattoos and what they mean for people who have dealt with self-harm and poor body image and partly because I get questions now and again about the more practical side of things; who did them, how much did they hurt and probably the most frequent one, how much did they cost (I mean, only my entire livelihood and every last spare pound I had for about 2 years but nbd)? The point being that I can put all this information in one place, especially as I don’t plan to get any more in the foreseeable future. 

See, as much as I get tired of people I don’t really know commenting on them, I suppose I did kind of bring it upon myself. Facially, I probably look about 15. I get told I'm exaggerating when I say that BUT I WAS STILL BUYING CHILD’S TICKETS ON THE BUS UP UNTIL LAST YEAR BC AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR £2.60 SINGLES. Where do you live for a bus single to cost £2.60 I hear you ask? In a tory heartland, my friend.

Anyway, the point is that I look pretty young to have a sort-of sleeve and tbh, I am. I’d say that for a lot of people, a sleeve is something you build on kinda throughout your life, not something you plan on getting pretty much the minute you turn 18. That isn’t exactly how it was for me either. I was more like 20 when I started on my left arm, lol. I started on the rest when I was 18 and had known most of the tattoos I wanted to get since I was about 14/15, so for quite a while. I think I always associated a tattooed version of me with a version of myself I liked and respected a lot more than the girl I saw myself as at that age,  but I didn’t realise just how true that would be. The tattoos definitely aren’t the reason I’m so much more body confident than I was back then; I’m at a weight I feel more comfortable in, I’ve learned how to do my makeup better and I think I’ve grown into myself more. Plus, I got my braces off, which helps. The constant fear of having food in my teeth hardly conjures up a sense of nostalgia, lol. On top of that, seeing a wider and more diverse range of faces and body types celebrated online and in the media has definitely helped me too. 

But one thing that I noticed is how much more respect having tattoos gives me for my own body. When you have talented men and women’s art all over you, it makes you feel like less of a body and more of a blank sheet. I think the attention moves away from the parts underneath that you might not like so much to something you don’t necessarily associate with yourself. It helps me to notice myself more objectively, with appreciation taking the place of scrutiny. And with regards to self-harm, on a practical level, I don’t want to damage somebody else’s hard work. 

The first tattoo I actually got, about a month or so after I turned 18 was pretty simple. I found the studio by way of recommendation from someone who’s tattoo I liked, which imo is probably the best route to go down for your first one. Word of mouth is generally a pretty good indicator of what to expect.

The 5 planet formation on the back of my neck was based on a Tumblr photo I’d saved on my phone, though in the original design I believe the planets were on the person’s chest.

PROTIP: If you’re getting a tattoo based on something you found on Pinterest, Google Images or Tumblr, the best thing to do is first to probably make a note of the artist and ideally ask them for their permission. This is something I wish I’d done at the time; the majority of my tattoos are based on images I found on the sites I just mentioned and saved without thinking and I generally deleted the photos once I sent them to the tattoo artist. Understandably, artists see it as respect thing to credit them and if I do ever come across the designs some of my tattoos are based on, I will of course make sure to add their details to this post, BUT to be completely honest, nobody outside of the internet is that bothered if you copied a tattoo you saw on Pinterest one time. 

I think the best thing to do is to ask your tattoo artist to put their own spin on a design and add to it, which is what I’ve generally done, and that way you should avoid anyone feeling like their work has been stolen. I like that approach anyway, especially if you’re going back to the same person for all your tattoos; it adds a consistency to them. 

This being my first tattoo, there wasn’t really much of a deeper meaning behind it. I liked the way it looked and wanted something simple that could easily be covered. I got this done by dclxvi.tattoo on Instagram, and it cost around £40. In terms of pain, there wasn’t much at all. I thought it was going to be a lot worse from what others had told me, and more than anything I could feel the vibration of the needle. I’d give it a 1/10 on the pain threshold. 

My second was the quote on my left side over my ribcage which reads “think deeply, speak gently, give freely and be kind”. This came from one of those cheesy typical middle class white people signs we usually put in our kitchens; we currently have about 6 and counting in ours. The full quote is “Think deeply, speak gently, love much, laugh a lot, work hard, give freely and be kind” but I thought that was a bit long winded so I kept the parts I liked. I suppose the meaning meaning of this is pretty self-explanatory, lol! When I was younger and still even now with the people I’m close to, I worry way too fucking much what people think of me. It’s a very cliche saying but at some point, I learnt that what others say about you says more about them than it does about you. From then, I started realising that as long as I know I do my best to treat people well, that’s the important thing and this tattoo is kind of just a reminder of that. IIRC, this one cost about £60 and was with the same artist as my first. She was really lovely and made me feel very comfortable so I went back to her for this one, and my next couple too. Again, even though it was on my ribs, I’d give it a 1/10 for pain.

I kinda lose track but I’m pretty sure it was over the summer of my 18th that I got the 3 you can see in the photo above, all still by the same artist. The first on this area of my arm was the quote “love yourself so no-one else has to” inside the heart/feminine symbol hybrid. Similarly, it’s quite self-explanatory but if I had to expand on it, it’s just a reminder that it’s not about what other people think and that as long as I’m happy in myself and BY myself, that’s what matters. This was around the £40 mark and I vaguely remember tattoos getting slightly more painful around this point as we’re getting into musclier territory. Not to make out I have guns or anything, lol, but I’ve always found that tattoos that are on top of muscle are the most difficult to sit through, still though I’d give it a 2/10 for pain. Shortly after I got the crystal ball with the quote underneath. The crystal ball is pretty much a copy of a tattoo I found on Pinterest by the tattoo artist Emily Malice/@emilymalice on Instagram:

I then chose a quote to add underneath it to make it my own which was: “it’s not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves”. It’s the modernised version of a quote from the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, and basically sums up the idea that if we want something, we have to go and get it ourselves. I’m not really a believer in fate or destiny or the idea that the universe has a bigger plan for us and though that might sound really pessimistic, I find it empowering in that we can go out and make our lives into anything we want them to be. Of course there are things that are out of our hands but for the most part, it’s down to us; I’m on that inner locus of control shit. And yes I remembered that from A-level psychology, lol. On the pain scale, also a 2/10.

Next was my Lana tattoo. Imagine copious amounts of the heart eyes emoji here. It’s based on this drawing:

Which I cannot find the artist of fucking ANYWHERE. The image is all over the bloody internet and returned about 30 different results on TinEye but I can’t for the life of me find the original version so if anybody knows, lmk! 

Anyway, it was my first of 2 Lana tattoos and it’s probably my favourite of them all. I’ve been a hardcore stan of this woman since I was about 12 and Video Games went viral (yes, I was a very pretentious 12 year old/general human being) and her music has been my soundtrack to EVERYTHING for the last 7/8 years. I’m a basic bitch and so Born to Die: Paradise Edition and Ultraviolence are still my favourite albums of hers but I wanted to pay tribute to the Lust for Life cover with the flowers in the hair because it represented her moving towards inner peace and contentment and I loved that. 

COST: approx. £70

PAIN: 2/10

That was my last tattoo for a while until about November 2018, from which point onwards I was getting them pretty much constantly up until a few months ago. I was no longer at uni, had a part time job and for the first time had proper disposable income, so I got my first proper “piece” tattoo:

This one I very shittily designed myself, though the lip part was based on this tattoo by Heidi Kaye/@heidikayetattoo on Instagram:

The lips were always going to be the centrepiece though it was originally a much bigger design. The idea was that it would be a piece based around the elements, water, earth, air and fire, with the things that represents each being something sentimental to me. Well, apart from the lips which would represent the passion of the fire signs; I just thought they looked cool, lol. On a less shallow note, the butterflies, which represent air (along with the moons), I associate with my mum as she’s always wearing butterfly patterned outfits and jewellery. Yeah, I don’t know how you can claim a whole ass insect either but apparently they’re her thing! And similarly, the scorpion is for my sister; it represents water, scorpio being a water sign. She and I used to watch Orphan Black together and took to affectionately calling each other “sestra” instead of sister like the Ukranian character Helena pronounces it in the show. At one point, I believe it’s season 3, her character hallucinates a scorpion (don’t ask, that show was pretty wack at times), hence the scorpion tattoo. Lastly, the flowers and the agate rock represent earth, which is the home of my sun and moon sign. There were originally going to be a lot more details to the piece but I wanted to keep it on the back of my arm and when I showed it to my new tattoo artist, Matt Cassy (cassytattoo on Instagram), he simplified it for me so that it would fit. It cost around £140 and took the longest time yet, but I’d give it a 1/10 for pain and it’s my favourite tattoo after my Lana one, probably because it’s the most individual.

Next after this was my sunflower and it took me to one of kindest and most talented people I’ve ever met! I’m pretty sure this was the first one she did for me and from this point onwards, I went back to Bianca Kidd (biancakiddtattoo on Instagram) for 90% of my tattoos. It’s a pretty basic piece but I really wanted a tattoo on my shoulder and preferably something that will never really go “out of style”. Flower tattoos are so simple but the absolute prettiest imo and I don’t think I’ll ever look back on this one and be like “what was I thinking?” I got Bianca to add the stars which were SUPPOSED to be in the form of the constellations of my sun, moon and rising signs, Capricorn, Virgo and what I thought was Scorpio but turns out is actually Cancer. Shoulda known considering how much of a needy, over-emotional twat I am, lol. On the one hand, it seems kinda contradictory to my crystal ball tattoo quote to believe in astrology but on the other, I think there might be something to the time of year a person is born and the environmental factors that come with that (climate, financial patterns etc.) affecting a person’s temperament slightly. It could all be a load of BS, considering the vagueness of most star signs and our tendency to want to agree with positive statements about ourselves, and I DEFINITELY don’t believe in the stars having any impact on your future or fate but it’s still fun to read about either way. Would be even funner if I didn’t have regrets about getting my natal chart wrong and being sure enough that Scorpio was my rising sign to get a tattoo referencing it every time I did, but there you go. If anyone asks, the placement of the stars is TOTALLY. RANDOM.

COST: approx. £140

PAIN: I find that even if a tattoo isn’t in a super painful position, your skin begins to get a little raw and thus more sensitive when it’s under a needle for a long period of time so 3/10

Next was the snakey boy on the inside of my right arm which I got just before Christmas, again by Bianca:

I don’t have much to say about this one other than it’s pretty much a copy of one I saw on Pinterest that I’d saved quite a while before (unfortunately I can’t find it anywhere now but if anybody does know the source lmk!) because I fricken love snakes and think they’re cute and misunderstood af. Not as cute as cats but definitely up there. Bianca changed it slightly by adding the dots around the rose and we went from there, and the main thing I remember is that this one actually hurt. Close to the armpit and on top of the muscle is a bad combination and I’m totally in awe of the madmen that go right into the pit itself. It cost £80 and for pain I’d give it an 8/10. 

Cop the exact same pose only with the other arm instead, but I also got my mermaid around this time:

She was done by Polly (biffinx on instagram) who’s an apprentice tattoo artist. If you are looking for a slightly cheaper tattoo, apprentices are a good shout, as they usually charge slightly less, though in Polly’s case are equally as skilled at what they do; you’re also helping them build their portfolio so it’s a win-win situation for both you and the tattoo artist. That being said, make sure you do your research and get someone who’s good at the style you’re looking for before you commit. Instagram is often your best bet, and if not, tattoo shops often have websites with photo galleries showcasing each artist’s work. It might take you a while to find what you’re looking for but you really can’t compromise when you’re talking about something that’s probably going to be on your body forever. NBD. I got the mermaid as a nod to both growing up by the sea and how much I loved to swim when I was younger. I feel like I’m going to end up saying this far too many times but she’s one of my favourites. 

COST: £60

PAIN: 8/10

I also got the other 3 tattoos on my upper right arm during this time. Bianca did the satanic kitty (can’t find the source of the tattoo it was based on! again, if anyone does lmk!), because of course I had to have a cat tattoo, and that was around £50 and a 3/10 on the pain scale. The two shells, which again are a reminder of where I grew up, were done by Terry Weeks (terryweekstattoo on Instagram) and cost £70 for both. I’d give them a 2/10 for pain.

Next were my knee and calf tattoo in February of this year, for which I went back to Matt Cassy:

He did the two of them for £140 and it took around 3 hours. Palm trees always remind me of California which I absolutely love, and the spider’s web was kinda just because...spooky, ya know? Honestly, I hate spiders and I equally hate that it gave the old man on the bus the inspiration to make the joke (imagine this being said in a strong Dorset accent) “you’ve got ae spiderr on yerr leg” at me that one time on the bus. Plus, I’d give my knee tattoo a strong 9/10 for pain. Realistically, it probably wasn’t any more painful than the inner upper arm tattoos but you have the added burden of suppressing your reflexes; when somebody is carving into the skin on your leg, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that your knee jerk reaction is to...well, kick that person in the face. Or away from you at least. I also got the elbow pit tattoo on my left arm from Bianca around this time for £160. 8/10 for pain on that one.

And then, there was the 10/10 in March. The things I do for Miss Lana Del fucking Rey.

Because the Just Ride tattoo above my knees HURT. I wasn’t expecting it at all but BLOODY HELL. My tattoo artist actually had to get the numbing spray out for this one. It was, again, the combined effect of it being on top of muscle and the need to resist my reflexes so that I didn’t flinch, which clearly I didn’t do a very good job at, hence the spray. I think my reaction at the time was kind of, what the fuck, has this stuff always existed? But the more you can put off asking for the spray, the better, because used in large quantities it can be pretty dangerous. This was the only tattoo I felt I did need it for because I literally couldn’t sit still and there was a risk of me jogging the tattoo artist, Megan, the amazing @bunnystattoos on Instagram. Her stuff is adorable and she has such a strong vision and brand and if I was going to get another, I’d love to just give her a starting point and see where she’d take it from there. Like, I’m not a Star Wars fan but LOOK at this set she designed for someone else:

I also got my Dream On tattoo with her in the same session and in total she charged me £110 for both which is pretty reasonable considering how in demand she is (and how much of a total baby I was about the Just Ride tattoo). I chose lyrics from Ride because lyrically, it’s probably one of my favourite songs of hers, plus the opening 30 seconds are pure magic.

Megan also did the linework orchid lady on the back of my arm around the same time:

I suppose you could say this is my most “meaningful” tattoo, because it was inspired by something my care-coordinator said to me about my diagnosis of BPD. In amongst all the other less than complimentary comments, she told me that it just means we need a little more care and sensitivity than others, like orchids do in comparison to other flowers, but that that doesn’t make us any less deserving of care or less beautiful. Basically, in the right circumstances, we can bloom too. And I liked that. 

This one cost £80 and was about a 3/10 for pain. I can’t find any photos of the tattoo it was based on so for the millionth time, if you do know, hmu.

From April-May I got a shitload of tattoos and to be honest, I can’t really remember what order it was in so I’m going to group them into artists. First, the ones I got from Polly:

The anatomical heart I got in March and was based on this tattoo by Harry Plane (@harry.plane on Instagram):

COST: £50

PAIN: 7/10

And the sun and moon kissing was also around £50. 2/10 for pain.

Bianca did a few for me too, starting with the floral design on my lower left arm around March, which was probably my biggest piece yet:

The floral piece started off as a 4/10 though it creeped up to a 6 the closer it got to my wrist. Going over raised scars is also slightly more painful, something to bear in mind. Along with the Keep It Cute tattoo (6/10) on my wrist:

It came to £180. 

Bianca also did the linework of my favourite GIF, like, ever.

Yes, it’s Go Go Yubari from Kill Bill about to try and maim The Bride, who don’t get me wrong I am perennially rooting for, but come on. It’s an iconic moment in film history Once Upon a Time in Hollywood wishes it could replicate. 4/10 for pain due to it being over scarring, otherwise we’re talking about the kind of placement that’s a reliable 2/10. I also got wrapped into the whole renaissance inspired trend and got Bianca to do me a little cherub gap filler based on this flash sheet I found on Google Images (link to the image found here https://creativemarket.com/Sonulkaster/280110-Angels-and-Cupids-collection.?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=CM):

I suggested the cigarette as a cheeky little addition, lol! I’d give it a 5/10 for pain, being close to the inside of my arm n all and it set me back around £40. Unfortunately, I don’t have any great quality photos of it that I haven’t already used in the post but here’s one where you can see it a little bit (idk why my hair looks so brown and basically my natural colour in this photo but I DO NOT APPROVE, it is not at all fitting with my wannabe mildly goth aesthetic):

Finally, we have my last 2 tattoos.

See, getting my finger tattoos done was an absolute necessity before I went inter-railing and not because I’m an over-dramatic bitch who wanted a little something to make my multitude of me-holding-food photos more aesthetically pleasing (though of course it helped on that count), but because I made the fucking huge mistake of trying to stick and poke them myself. To be fair, they weren’t THAT bad at first. Like I was pretty pleased with them. Buuuut they faded super quickly and I guess that’s the issue with stick and pokes, especially on your fingers, where even professional tattoos are a bit of a flight risk anyway. So, after having to go over them a million times and spilling Indian ink all over my laptop keyboard, I decided to admit defeat and get Bianca to go over them for me. It cost £30 and I’d only give it a 4/10 on the pain scale. After months of having to explain my shitty faded finger tattoos to everyone and convince far too many customers at work that they weren’t just drawn on with a sharpie, I’m finally happy with them. Lesson learnt. Don’t stick and poke kids, especially not near your laptop.

Lastly is my “Wouldst Thou Like to Live Deliciously?” quote that Polly did for me:

The cost of this tattoo? £30. Having to explain to every person who hasn’t seen The VVitch what it actually says and then what it means too? Priceless. Hotel? Tri-

I joke. It’s actually very annoying having to explain what it says and vague what it means, not because I don’t EXACTLY know but also because I feel like a snobby film hoe (which is quite an accurate description of me) every time I do. The VVitch is super good, guys. Please watch if you’ve got the patience, it’s a slow burn. 

Anyways, I hope anybody who read to the end enjoyed the post and found it informative! If you have any other tattoo questions, shoot me a message and I will definitely respond. I think one of the most common things I get is people saying they’re too indecisive to get a tattoo and that they want one, but are worried they’ll go off it. What I think is that once you get your first, getting a tattoo starts to feel like less of a momentous decision. Like there are tattoos I have that I probably wouldn’t get now but that doesn’t mean I regret them because, although it sounds cheesy, they sort of become a part of you and represent what you liked at the time. The more you have, the less significant one individual tattoo is. At the end of the day, are you ever going to regret getting a tiny rose? Worst case scenario, you can always get a cover up or if you’re brave and rich enough (lol), get laser removal. In terms of aftercare, I’ve always been kind of sloppy. Follow the instructions your tattoo artist gives you but also, if you don’t get time to moisturise them, it’s not the end of the world. TRY not to itch them but one tiny scratch isn’t going to permanently damage your tattoo. 

One thing I will say, though, that’s probably kind of obvious to everyone but me (being the dumbass I am) is that you should NOT go in the sea right after getting a tattoo. It is literally the equivalent of pouring salt in an open wound and whilst it didn’t ruin my Lana, it really fucking stung for about 3 days afterwards. I’m an endless treasure chest of protips, didn’t you know?

Thank you for reading!

Lauren x

[comicteaparty]

May 13th-May 19th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from May 13th, 2019 to May 19th, 2019.  The chat focused on Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses by J Alice Bown.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses by J Alice Bown~! (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until May 19th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. In so far, what aspect of the world-building catches your interest the most? Why is that so? Also, what theories do you have in regards to differences between places like Persephone and Hestia?

Delphina

For serious scenes, I think I gotta go with the big swordy magic scene where she saves Jake from being crushed by the statue (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=202) because the lighting effects are gorgeous and seeing Lave doing big magic stuff with her sword was really really cool. For silly scenes, the one that always sticks with me is Lave trying to be a host and failing miserably. (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=123)

keii4ii

2) I really liked this page. http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20180423 How she just asks a random person on the street for a magic shortcut and gets an answer right away. While it's always been clear that magic is an ordinary thing, this kind of little details really shows exactly how ordinary.

Capitania do Azar

I really like the prologue, particularly the part where they climb the lamppost. There's just so much character into the entire scene, and the exchanges are really cool. It's a very strong beginning for a story too, imo!!

2) http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20130423 I really think this part has a lot to show about world building like, here's this weird magical event going on, but everyone is just "I was just trying to show you something cool urg" and "well this ain't it"

duskglass

for the worldbuilding, i especially love the variety of creatures/nonhumans we've seen so far, and how well integrated they are with the setting! it's got a classic urban fantasy vibe while also being very fresh and unique

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What do you think Lave’s backstory is? Do you think she got all her scars from her job, or might some of them predate her job somehow? How do you think Jake will change the way Lave handles and deals with her life?

ClauseArt

heeey I just saw this! This is my comic! Thanks for taking the time to read it! c8

RebelVampire

1) i definitely gotta go with the scene where jake is in dream world like place with aishe. I really love how this scene just suddenly adds 1000 layers of mystery. Plus, i really just love the change in color scheme. It really gives it this other worldly feel that gives me goosebumps. Plus, I also just like Aishe's design. 2) I've really been enjoying the differences in magic. Like, for example, how most zombies actually suck cause ya know...theyre dead. I feel this adds such a great twist what we expect, cause every change I feel fits a more logical setup for what the magic does. Again, like how the zombie thing makes 1000% sense cause dead bodies are not the sturdiest. I am curious about why Lave had such a reaction to Hestia magic schools, but I don't have any theories outside of magic must be viewed very differently in places.

3) Kestrel because he's such a precious failure at life. Like...he just cannot catch a break and for some reason that makes him super endearing to me. Plus now hes got the whole aishe connection thing going on so that makes him double interesting. But mostly I want to boop him for all his failures. 4) I would think some of her scares would have to predate her job. Cause she's...she's got a lot of them. And considering she mentioned having been in jail, I'm kind of struck with the idea that maybe she ran with a gang or something. She super gives me the impression of someone who mostly raised herself and didnt have a huge loving family involved in teaching her how to deal with life. I think Jake will be a good influence on her though and teach her to be more careful. Cause she seems very fun loving and reckless, and while that can work when youre solo, its not great when you have other ppl. Like i think the Kestrel thing was a good example cause I felt Lave perhaps was too loose cannon with it, which semi resulted in Kestrel almost kicking the bucket. And Jake is like 1000 times more fragile, and I think it'll force Lave to see that she cant protect anybody if she goes around without a plan.

ClauseArt

@Capitania do Azar that scene with Kest and lave interacting around the lamp-post was actually the moment I decided Kest worked well as a main character. He was honestly going to die in the original draft. @keii4ii thanks! I super love just....the mundane feeling of everyday magic. @Delphina Honestly Lave just being a f--k up is probably my fav part of writing her character, especially for comedic effect XD Next to drawing glowy magic scenes of course.(edited)

@RebelVampire Oh wow this is a lot. Thank you! ;-; dammit I really can't respond to these kind of questions cus spoilers. But I'm glad you noticed a lot of my characters having...well a habit of messing up (and Lave did not handle that first chap well cough) XD Also Aishe is my fav character to draw, because Kest is my fav character to draw only its + because glowy effects. I do really like when more real world logic is put in fantasy, like corpses making for bad heavy hitters unless they're in a swarm. So I'm super glad you liked that!

Capitania do Azar

4. If Lave's style has always been what we've seen so far, then all those scars don't surprise me at all! They'd be the natural consequence of past encounters, work related or otherwise. It just kinda feels that everything ends with someone getting punched around her

3. I've really liked pretty much everyone, but I think Lave's my favorite cuz she's sturdy but messy and I feel there's a lot to be learned about her aha

And also she prolly also has a lot to learn

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Why do you think Jake is in Persephone with no guardian? What theories do you have on Jake’s hatred of non-humans? Will Jake be able to overcome his prejudice?

Capitania do Azar

6. Jake feels a lot like is somebody important's family but important could mean a lot of things. And has for his discomfort, I think it mostly stems from not knowing/being used to all this magic, which gives me the idea that some of these cities are less magical than others

5. Not an illustration, but I really love how in the last pages, as the sun rises, the colors become brighter and the sky becomes pink!!

It really helps bringing home the feeling that the night is over and the quietness of early morning, which is kinda fitting since they also stopped fighting

Delphina

I think I gotta go with Lave as my favorite character too because competent + ridiculous + magical +swordy is my entire jam so she's sorta the best of all worlds. Gena holds a special place in my heart too because she's clearly trying to keep a lot of things together.

Illustration-wise, I love how things like Jake's anxiety (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=198) or Chirovision (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=237) or Aisheland (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=225) traveling through magic spaces (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20170501) make the palette and rendering different depending on the mood. Really good use of a more abstract style to convey tone and worldbuilding.

(Now I want there to be a DDWG theme park where there's weird places like Aisheland)

varethane

Lave is my fave!!!! I love her goofy attitude paired with how much butt she kicks when it's necessary. I love seeing people underestimate her and then get surprised, haha.(edited)

My favourite illustration is.... hard to pick, but probably this page: http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=206

Capitania do Azar

oh yeah, I really love the color work for those scenes, it carries out the emotions very well

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. For what purpose do you think someone sold Kestrel the cursed orb? How does this tie into the axe theft mystery Lave is asked to solve? What overall is going on regarding these illegal items, and how will it tie into the story?

Capitania do Azar

7. Anything that comes out of Kestrel's mouth is gold, but when he and Lave bicker it's even better!!!

Please just let them bicker more for my amusement

8. It really feels like someone's around trying to spread SOME mayhem and if one object was possessed then maybe it's not the only one... could be a tricky situation

Delphina

Will second that Lave and Kest definitely need to bicker more

RebelVampire

5) im kind of cheating by saying i really like the extra page about the leylines http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20160620 its really simplistic yet i think the illustrations work super well to help convey all the world-building information. its just a nice combo of huge info drop with some pleasant visual accompaniment 6) I assume Jake is probably an orphan from some important family? Or that Jake's family is super high up in rank somehow and just went "nah man we dont want this kid no more." while i def think some of jake's hate comes from ignorance, i also get the impression that jake had a bad experience with non-humans. something about jake's reactions just really strike me as ptsd. overall yeah, i think jake is gonna have to overcome it. plus, exposure breeds familiarity. its hard to be in the lion's den and continue to hate the lions.

7) jake and basically any non-human. I really just enjoy seeing jake's various reactions of "eww no" and then having to be confronted with the fact that not all non-humans are bad. It just makes me more and more curious about jake's past. plus, all these interactions really serve as a great tracking devices for how jake evolves in opinion. 8) With Kestrel, I kind of think someone is trying to draw Aishe out. I mean Aishe does have pretty neat butterflies and powers, so I can't blame them. Though I assume its a revenge thing cause I get the impression ppl arent all that happy with Aishe. But thus why other illegal items are being involved because you need powerful stuff to get to the powerful people.

Desnik

That leyline page is gorgeous and informative, I love the combo of worldbuilding and infographics

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Who exactly is Aishe and what are their goals? What does this have to do with the undead from the first chapter? Why did Aishe help Jake? What will Lave do when she learns about Aishe?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think the story with Chiro is? How did he wind up as Lave’s roommate? Will Chiro and Jake learn to get along? Also, do you think there might be anything special about Chiro that might affect the story?

AshAngelV

6. I think he's come from an entirely different world that doesn't have non humans and magic.

AshAngelV

11. The world building and color scheme are definitely strong points. It feels fully fleshed out and magical, but also very grounded like it's this amazing magical place that's also totally normal. Also, the characters. Having a bunch of flawed characters with baggage is always more interesting than having perfect characters with no problems and even the bit characters feel dynamic. Like they have their own story and interests rather than being part of the scenery exsisting only for the MCs to interact with.

RebelVampire

9) The thing I appreciate the most details wise is just the physical flaws. Especially Lave's scars. Adding details like that can be really tedious, yet it really helps deliver so much character that I always enjoy when the time is taken to include things like that. 10) I feel like Aishe is probably some necromancer from the past who is trying to rectify a mistake that was made. I think Aishe helped for the reason they said: Jake did a kindness and gotta pay that shit forward. I feel like Lave is 100% not going to trust aishe and basically just encourage everyone to do the same. Maybe suggest Kestral seek professional help. But yeah, I don't see a green butterfly person flying with Lave XD 11) I think this comic's strengths lie in two areas. First, the implementation of magic. There are clear rules, there's enough deviations from the standard to be interesting, and the fact its presented as a normal culture thing is well-integrated. second, the color palettes are really amazing and suit the tone and atmosphere of each scene really well. 12) I feel like Chiro might be a bit special since that one person did wonder what species Chiro was or something like that. And that because of this specialness Chiro was outcasted. Hence why he wound up with Lave cause ya know, outcasts gotta stick together. I think Chiro and Jake will bond for sure down the road. Cause i mean Chiro did just help save Jake's butt, and thats gotta earn him some Jake points right?

AshAngelV

12. I think Chiro might be a vamp that just stays in bat form or maybe only has bat form.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. What do you think Kestrel’s role will be in regards to the larger story? Can Kestral and Aishe be detached from one another, or is the attachment permanent?

AshAngelV

14. I think he'll be the guy that's in a constant state of terror and peril. And I think the detaching will be up to Aishe.

ClauseArt

man its super hard not to chime in on these ahhh D8

Delphina

Rebel makes such good questions XDD

varethane

I am looking forward to several things! - what is Jake's deal and how is he linked to aishe -Lave's bite mark scar!!!! what is it!!!!!! -what will Kest do next -more Lave plz(edited)

RebelVampire

@Delphina thank you for saying so~!

13) im looking forward to more aishe doing aishe stuff just cause i dig that aesthetic a whole lot. im also looking forward to learning more about jake so more concrete theories can be made about wtf jake's deal is. and also why nobody else could take jake besides lave cause i mean seriously...theres gotta be more sane choices XD 14) Kest is gonna become a real mage and do magic stuff. also ya know, hide out with lave cause now the ppl he owes money too are probably gonna be out for blood. as for detaching...maybe not so much. i more feel like once Aishe is done with their tasks, their essence will just kind of disappear and merge with kest.

AshAngelV

Hang in there Clause.

ClauseArt

@AshAngelV I will try D8

I can at least promise a lot of these theories are gonna be answered sooner or later

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses this week! Please also give a special thank you to J Alice Bown for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/

J Alice’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/JAliceBown

J Alice’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/A732E2D

J Alice’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlicesBrainPad/

[kuroko26]

WHITE ROSE WEEK 2017!

Day 1: protection

Hello everyone! Here I am, submitting this piece of work for the white rose week…the first of many in the future.

It’s the first time I’ll be writing White Rose so I hope you enjoy this and the other pieces created for this event.

Also, I’m sorry for the late post but I wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t finish the pieces for the respective days and I still just plain suck at writing. I don’t know how but I’ll do my best to finish this!!!!! ————————————————————————

Three weeks. It’s been three weeks since Weiss escaped the prison she once called home, set a foot on the Kingdom of Mistral and found her sister Winter, who while taken by surprise was glad to see that her younger sister arrived safe and sound, specially after learning of the circumstances that led to their reunion.

While she may have visited Mistral in the past, it was always for her father’s business. Only staying in places of the highest class and only sightseeing or visiting places that her father would allow her; so she took her time to get acquainted with the city as a whole this time, like a normal person instead of the heiress she once was.

And in one of those walks around town she saw her. Her partner, Ruby Rose. The partner she was forced to leave behind and had a varied sort of feelings towards, was in complete eyesight.

So, she couldn’t help herself when she just shouted “RUBY!” For all the people in the street to hear, including her partner, who after some seconds, just sprinted right to where she was, and engulfed her in a tight hug.

“Oh my gosh Weiss! It’s you! It’s really you!” Said the younger girl glad to finally see her partner after so long and her teammate returning it lightly for a while, just enjoying the moment until a question just popped out of her mind.

“Yes Ruby, it’s me…and while I’m glad to see you again, I need some explanation about why are you here in the kingdom of Mistral instead of being back at home…with Yang and I’m assuming, Blake”

At the mention of her sister and other teammate, the read headed girl’s smile dimmed considerably which didn’t go unnoticed by the older girl.

“Ruby…did-”

“Weiss, could we speak in private please, there’s so much I want to tell you and….and..” Ruby takes a deep breath before continuing and flashing a smile “there’s this nice bakery on the way to the hotel we’re staying and it has the best cookies I’ve tasted in a long time. We should grab a bite before going into the serious stuff please?”

Ah those puppy eyes that she secretly found cute and quite hard to resist.

“….Of course, just lead the way”

Once the purchase has been done, they went to Winter’s place where Weiss assured Ruby they could talk without problems and so, each partner let the other know about what they have done in the last months.

Weiss talked about the lost of her inheritance, how her father pretended to lock her in her own home and once again try to control her life and future.

“I decided I wouldn’t let things be like that, so I trained myself and waited for the right moment to escape…if it wasn’t for Klein, it might have been harder, impossible even” said Weiss with a hint of fondness in her voice at the mention of the loyal butler.

“But enough about me, I would like to know what have you been up to in the last months? All alone?” The former heiress inquired.

“But I’ve not been travelling alone, Jaune, Nora and Ren have been travelling with me all this time. From Patch to Mistral, we’ve been together…except for that part with that abandoned town and that rare Grimm and…”

“Ruby, please…start from the beginning”

“Oh right…when I woke up….”

Ruby told Weiss about waking up, talking with uncle Qrow about her eyes, the clue in Haven academy, Blake’s absence and the effect it had on Yang along with the loss of her arm, the decision to go to Haven in search for answers with the rest of JNR, doing some hunting jobs along the road. But that was nothing compared to the encounter with Tyrian, the revelation of the maidens, almost losing her uncle or the fight with the Nuckleavee….Ruby revealed every event that transpired in her life for the last six or eight months, which spoke volumes of the level of trust she had on her partner.

Weiss, well she felt flattered even if she found it unbelievable the fact that the maidens of fairy tales were real that there was this mysterious, evil being bent on destroying the world and now was targeting her partner but Ruby was never the type to lie about something like this, there was no question, besides she promised long ago that she would be the best teammate she could.

“So, what can I do to help? Should I try to gather as much information as I can? Maybe Winter can help a bit…as long as I don’t intrude her own investigation of course”

“Weiss, I’m glad you want to help but are you sure? We kinda have a target painted on our backs, you just got out of an ugly situation and your father might be looking for you… do you really think is a g-hmmpf”

Before even finishing that question, Weiss put a finger on Ruby’s lips, silencing the younger one and causing a bit of reddening in her cheeks.

“Ruby. That night on Beacon, I promised that I would be the best teammate I could ever be. Even if Beacon has fallen, that promise still stands and….why is your face red? Are you feeling alright?”

The red headed girl nodded slowly and it took a little while before Weiss realize where her right finger was, only to retrieve it swiftly and become as flushed as the younger girl and place her hands on top of the girl’s own.

“Well sorry about that but my point still stands, I will help you find those who responsible for the fall”

After hearing this, Ruby couldn’t help herself and hugged her partner once more.

“Thank you…you know I’m really glad to see you again. To work together once more you know?”

“I am glad as well Ruby, I am glad as well” the former heiress replied, basking in the warmth of a hug she found, was enjoying more than usual.

“If only this moment could last forever; wait, why am I having these kind of thoughts!?”

But the train of thoughts came to an abrupt end, just like the hug, because Ruby realized it was getting late and her uncle and friends would worry. So, after exchanging new contact information, the girls said their respective goodbyes and in a unexpected movement, Ruby kissed Weiss on her cheek and seeing herself out very quickly, leaving a trail of rose on her path and a very flustered Weiss at the door.

“What in the world motivated Ruby to kiss me!? And, and….why am I feeling strangely giddy about it!?”

A lot of thoughts were coursing through the former heiress mind; past and present experiences with the scythe wielder had been varied. It all started with hostility and disdain, but it morphed into respect, loyalty, friendship and perhaps even more?

She never voiced any of these feelings to anyone, not even Winter in all the time they had been living together but Weiss might have started to develop a slight crush on her partner a bit after the time Blake accidentally revealed herself as a faunus and a former member of the white fang. Normally, she dismissed this thoughts at first and focused her attention on a certain blue haired boy from Haven. That didn’t progress too much and she certainly didn’t put any of those kind of thoughts about her partner with all the tournament excitement and the horrible events that destroyed the place she once thought of as home.

“Maybe, I’m just very happy to see her. It’s been long after all; yeah, that must be it” this was the conclusion Weiss Schnee got after a very silent dinner and for the sake of having a peaceful sleep at night.

And so, the days passed and true to her word, Weiss spend any time she could helping Ruby find clues about Cinder and the others, fighting Grimm along the way to keep themselves sharp, have something to do in the meantime and earn a bit of income; which is why Winter had no problem with her little sister’s recent endeavors as long as she exercised herself with caution.

Still, those funny feelings for her partner kept growing and much to the white haired one frustration, couldn’t actually figure them out, not at all. But maybe, just maybe, fate would do something about it.

One of many afternoons before, the two huntresses in training spent it exterminating a small group of Ursa in the outskirts of the city and now they were on the way to return to the city. Weiss encouraged her partner on a speedy return because, while the job was easy and carried on without difficulties, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that someone was following them. It could be anybody at this point and she just didn’t want to risk herself or Ruby.

While getting near the entrance of Mistral, the pair of teenagers found their path blocked by three guys that certainly didn’t look like they had any good intentions.

“Excuse me, could please move aside? We’re in a bit of a hurry and we don’t want any trouble-”

Ruby’s petition was suddenly interrupted when one the men just tried to hit her with a sledgehammer, which the little red dodged easily and made both girls draw their weapons and be on guard.

“Look red, we’re only here in business. The girl next to you have been very naughty, worrying her father lots and lots. So, he has paid a pretty penny for us to bring his rebellious daughter home.”

Of course, her father. He couldn’t let go of any self perceived slight against his person, could he? But there’s no way she would go back to that piece of hell is she had a say on the matter but before she had the opportunity to reply, another hoodlum decided to address her teammate.

“Just step aside red, this got nothing to do with you so if you let us take “princess” here, no harm will come for ya kay?”

“If you think I’m going to let take Weiss away to that horrible place, you’ve got another thing coming”

While Ruby tried to look imposing, it didn’t phase the criminals nor their approaching allies.

“Suit yourself. We ain’t going anywhere without that white haired bitch and well, sorry not sorry, but you’ll lay in a puddle of blood for trying to play hero!”

And so, the fight started. Ruby’s speed gave them some advantage and Weiss, thanks to her glyphs could emulate her to some extent, making a quick work of some of them but these men were quite experienced and it showed when one of them tried to take Weiss out with a dart filled with a tranquilizer and it would have worked, had Ruby not pushed the former heiress out of the way and taken the hit, much to the girl’s horror.

“RUBY NO!” Weiss couldn’t help herself to shout  her partner’s name and rush to her side, only to be restrained by one of them.

“Such a waste of tranquilizer but it’ll do just fine for such a pest” the apparent leader of the group mumbled before giving the downed girl a kick to the ribs and turning to address Weiss.

“And you. You’re nothing more than daddy’s little girl, no matter how hard you try to act tough; I mean, it’s basically your fault little red here has gotten hurt so why don’t you do yourself a favor and come with us, quietly? Don’t wanna damage such a pretty face without reason….”

But Weiss was paying no heed to his taunting words, in her mind, listing all the things that Jacques Schnee had taken away from her: her childhood, her family in a manner of speaking, her dream of making things right on her grandfather’s company.

But this, this was one of the things he wouldn’t take away again unless it was over her dead body: her freedom and with that, the right to stay with her loved ones, like Ruby for example…..

“Not this time Jacques….” The white haired mumbled taking the attention of her captors and making them oblivious of the glyph that appeared on the floor.

“What did you say missy? Not this time?” The gang just starts laughing “are you pulling me my leg? Cause where I see it, you’re pretty fu-”

Without any warning, the brute was swatted to a side like an insignificant fly, colliding with a nearby tree and losing consciousness in the process.

All the astounded viewers looked behind and saw, much to their horror, a spectral figure standing tall and imposing, with a big sword on one hand.

“I said, you inconsiderate brutes, NOT! THIS! TIME!” Weiss Schnee shouted with all the strength she could muster and for all her current tormentors to hear.

As if it was given an order, the knightly summon started the attack once again, starting with the ones that kept its master restrained not giving a single thought to the attacks of the terrified criminals only to make a quick work of them.

Once she was free, Weiss got near the remaining conscious man and said this: “Tell your contractor this: “if you dare to go after me or my beloved ones once again, I’ll make sure you regret it!”

Not saying anything else, she just knocked the poor bastard out, switching from annoyance, to concern over her unconscious partner.

Once its job was done, the knight just kneeled before fading away, while the preoccupied Weiss folded Crescent Rose to its portable, thanking Ruby for actually teaching her how, calling Winter to request help at the city’s entrance and finally, she grabbed Ruby and mustering all her remaining strength, carried her on her arms and resumed the walk home.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you but rest assured, I’ll do whatever it is in my power to protect you the same way you’ve protected me because….”

She looks at her teammate, dedicating a smile to Ruby before giving a soft kiss to their cheek.

“Because I might be falling in love you know? And I really wish to do things properly so hang in there Ruby, please?”

And so, Weiss didn’t say anything else for the rest of the way while ignorant of the fact that Ruby let a little smile come out.

—————————————-

Well that's the first of the seven prompts of the event! Let's do this!

[mulder-isms]

Green - (Thorcid fanfic)

A\N: This short fic was inspired by the 420 picture and pot gummies so it’s a mess. Because if it ain’t green, I’m not interested *in Laganja’s voice*  

But seriously, green is my favorite color I’m obsessed.  💚 💚 💚 💚

Tell me what you think and save this poor “author” of the anxiety of writing words and give me the boost so this ship must go on. Or just send anon hate (  pls dont tho)

The snake patterned fabric got stuck in the sewing machine. It was enough to make Thorgy curse all the versions of The wizard of Oz and having a breakdown to stare at the void. It happened many times before in the workroom, where the pressure is so high that people are inclined to shut down. The emerald fabric was glistening bright green shades on his face but inside it was all blue. He missed Acid’s smoothing voice lurking on his back telling ‘get it together, girl’. It was a surprise, he didn’t know he would miss Acid Betty for any reason.  

Acid was the glue that was sticking team NYC together during the whole competition. This challenge was making everyone on edge. Including unbreakable Bob. He snapped out of the motionless state because time was running with no intention to stop, ever. Betty would have rolled her eyes profusely at the puddle he was.

Thinking about Acid was comforting, it set his made in the right place, wherever that was.

X

“I guess we’ve reached that point”

Shane was having breakfast on his kitchen table, and by breakfast it meant just pure black coffee (a post Jamin renewed addiction) with some old crackers. Alvy on the other side of the table, eating cereal from a big bowl and had a plate of fresh fruits by his side. The lifelong friend offered some for Shane but he just “Ugh” and grimaced. Because coffee was the proper meal for an empty stomach.

“The last weeks he’s been travelling a lot, you know, and no news here. We’re used to the travelling periods now” Shane continued talking as he was eating some crackers in between. Alvy continued chewing calmly as listening to his roommate with faint interest. “It’s that point where nothing gets on our nerves? Like last week I stayed over because we haven’t seen each other in ages and we fell asleep watching TV… I mean the sex is still great, but sometimes we’re just not in the mood that much”

Alvy shook his head wishing to be spared of the details.

“But I-I…” he stuttered trying to find the words. “I mean is this normal? I know it’s normal but under our circumstances? Aren’t we supposed to be all over each other yet? Am I being dramatic? Don’t answer that! ” Shane blurted out in the speed of light concerned.

Alvy just cleared his throat and started eating an apple slowly.

“For someone that has been a whore for such a long time your lack of knowledge about relationships is astonishing.” Alvy replied in uninterested tone.

“Right?” Shane confirmed laughing and gesticulating with his hands. “That’s because I’ve never been in a relationship for this long with someone I actually care about and that cares for me?” he realized waving his crackers.

“True… and sad. But on a lighter note, yes Shane, it’s normal. Couples stop having sex like rabbits after a while. Thank god. These walls are damn thin and I can’t with you guys thinking you’re doing a casting for Cocky Boys” Alvy assured his friend as he was finishing his bowl.

Shane had no idea what Cocky Boys were but didn’t care anyways. He took a deep breath, but still a little bit of worry hanging on his sleeve.

“Last year on Drag Con we fucked in a bathroom with people coming in and out at 8 am, it was fucking hot”

Alvy closed his eyes and put down his spoon and now that he was recollecting the memories from Drag Con he remembered that Thorgy and Acid were always together, the fugitive glances and ear by ear talks.

“I know I’m crazy, but I keep thinking he is tired of me or this whole situation. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m starving” then he shrugged and grabbed a banana that was in plate and started to peeling it.

X

The concert with Eliot was a blast. He was so pumped with the musical gigs he would have in May too, it was his dream coming to life, and the fact that people appreciated so much when he played made him overwhelmed with happiness. Jamin was on the road and he was constantly sending messages of how tired he was with the whole Roast tour. Jamin had a curious nature, it was easy for him to be excited about going to new places and clubs but touring was draining. You can only tell the same joke so many times.

But Shane knew everything was going to alright. It was 420. He was wearing his Grinch pubes wig and a dress that Jamin could easily take it off.

“Good Luck on your gig, I’m sure you’re gonna kill it. Alotta’s auction is tonight and I’ll see you in her apartment after? Save me some pot gummies, bitch.”

Shane laughed as he stared at the screen. He was high and relaxed from the pot gummies. Bach was still playing on his head, a whole orchestra of Emerald City citizens as he was conducting. The walls melting in green.  He had to see Jamin.

X

Shane loves to see Jamin’s back in the morning, his muscles and shoulder blades contracting, as he is leaning in the kitchen balcony doing the dishes wearing just briefs. He loves how Jamin’s skin is beautiful and soft and he doesn’t even know the devil’s pact he did to have that ass. He loves to see him completely bare of his layers of colors.

But the same time, nothing makes him happier than watch Acid Betty in all the sass and hyper colors. Tonight, she was wearing a green structured dress and the lizard prints all over her neck. They hugged tight and briefly, it was the break from the auction and a queen was doing a number on stage. Thorgy snapped one pic of them together to post on IG, because he could never resist.

“How many gummies did you have?” Acid asked laughing at how far way Thorgy seemed browsing through her phone, trying to post the pic.

Thorgy took teen long seconds to answer with her finger pointing up as if she was actually able to count. “Enough” she precisely answered after giving up and holding a laughter. Acid noticed Thorgy had her backpack in one shoulder and the violin case on the other. A queen was calling Acid back to the stage, she nodded half smiling to Thorgy pulling the sleeve of her green coat and whispering on her ear.

“You look cute”

And she winked her glitter lashes making Thorgy’s stomach swirl.

Acid and pot was a good combination.

X

Jamin didn’t even know how he got in Alotta’s apartament. The auction was a complete blur. The place was full of all the underworld creatures that were lurking dazed and confused in the Metropolitan. He wanted to take a shower to sober up.

He looked down at the bathtub, the dark green water washing away his makeup, his green attires hanging on the top of the curtains hanger. When he opened his eyes, after rinsing the shampoo off his hair he noticed someone was in the bathroom and he yelled hastily. He completely forgot to lock the door.

“It’s occupied!”

The person’s figure was undefined but the green top of hair and the height could be only one person. Before Jamin knew Shane was joining him under the shower, his Thorgy face still on. He urgently kissed Jamin, their make up being destroyed by the running water and the friction of their bodies. Jamin enjoyed then sensation of having his boyfriend all wet in his arms forgetting about the opened door. When Shane stopped to catch a breath Jamin picked some liquid soap and place on his hand to wash his face.

“Close your eyes, you nut” he asked as Shane was giggling looking positively crazy and super adorable. Shane closed his eyes and Jamin washed his face. First he rubbed the glue of his thick brows, and Shane’s features were appearing slowly again, his light skin red with the temperature and the contact, the small nose, and his squinted gray-green eyes sparkling again behind the black eyeliner residues.

Jamin took a second to appreciate the face that was forming in front of him. Then he turned around to wash his own hair, since he was in the process of doing it when Shane interrupted him.

“You still have lizard scales” Shane pointed rubbing Jamin’s neck from behind.

“Thorgy?”

Alotta’s deep voice was inside the bathroom already. Jamin and Shane froze but it was too late to do anything and they were too high to even function.

“Bitch, who are you blowing in this bathroom?” he asked suspicious noticing the two silhouettes.

“I’m with Acid. I was trying to get her to fuck me but we are pouring green and I’m seeing leprechaun violinists”  

“She really is!” Jamin went along.

Alotta squinted his eyes holding the doorknob and then she cackled screamed.

“You Ru Girls are fucking disgusting.  I want you two out my tub in five minutes” Alotta replied unbothered and too high to care too. It wasn’t the weirdest thing he saw tonight.

They both laughed and got off the the shower quickly. They put some clothes on fast and joined the others in the living room, they got lucky but they wouldn’t want to draw any attention. There was a cloud of god knows what forming in the living room. Nobody noticed they both had wet hair.

The night continued with lots of drinks and different many items of cannabis haute cuisine. Shane was almost passed out on the couch observing Jamin playing cards with the rest of the men and drag queens. Everything was fading away slowly…

X

When Shane woke up he was still on the couch. He was afraid he was going to be stuck in a green sunrise but everything looked colored enough for his relief. His eyes searched for other bodies on the floor but there wasn’t anybody in sight, just a low electronic music playing in the background.

He wondered if Jamin left without him, but right after his brain formulated the question Jamin appeared from behind and joined him in the couch. Shane made room for him, so he could hug him by the waist and he could rest his chin on the top of Jamin’s head.

They stood there in silent, still sleepy, Jamin’s hot breath on his chest, making his shirt damp. He played with the curls of his dark hair.

“God…how I missed this….” His voice coming out muffled squeezing Shane tighter and placing kisses on his chest. Shane breathed, as he could finally breath again, kissing the top of Jamin’s head and putting a leg over him. He thought about following his old patterns, saying ‘I thought you were getting tired of me’ because that what was on his mind the whole week. But it would just ruin what shouldn’t be a doubt. Not with Jamin in his arms like that.

“I love you”

The simplicity of the words were taking him by surprise too. Shane was many things, but never simple. Jamin responded kissing him gently, with no hurry, breathing in his morning warmth, the smell of soap still on his skin. Shane slid his hand inside Jamin’s jeans quickly, rubbing his length lazily.

“And I miss your cock inside of me fucking me hard” he whispered on Jamin’s ear making Jamin laugh and almost lose his balance out of the couch. He positioned himself again and started placing kisses on Shane’s collarbones, encouraging him to continue.

“And I thought romance wasn’t dead” he replied under his chin, pulling Shane closer by the hips and biting his ear lobe, making him let go a soft moan.

Shane continued rubbing him, and he was growing solid with each stroke, circling the tip of his head making him let go soft ‘fucks’. Jamin inserted his hand inside Shane’s shorts, craving his nails on Shane’s ass, thrusting in and out and he kept fastening the pace, the panting of their breathing getting uneven…but then they heard one door creaking in the back of the corridor.

Jamin jumped out of the couch fast closing his fly and Shane moaned in frustration putting his hands on his temple frustrated.

Alotta was there, half naked, in seconds.

“Betty how are you even up…” Alotta was walking by dragging his limbs across the room and Jamin was holding a pillow in front of  his crotch.

“Pot has a reverse effect on me” he justified throwing the pillow on the floor and sitting on the armchair crossing his legs. Shane was pretending to be sleeping. Alotta sat on the couch, next to Shane’s face, and drank from the bottle of water that was resting on the coffee table. Acid observed all his movies tense. Alotta looked down at Thorgy and shook his head.

“This bitch doesn’t even move”

Jamin just nodded in agreement looking at his boyfriend swollen lips, and his eyes twitching pretending the fake slumber. Alotta got up again and proceeded to the kitchen clueless about the hot make out session that was going on seconds ago.

Shane opened his eyes not controlling his laughing anymore, he gave up the act, sitting up straight. He was all messed up, the oversized striped blouse falling all crooked exposing his shoulder, the zipper of his bermuda shorts still open. He started putting the lose dreads up again. Jamin was observing him from the armchair. He wondered when he would stop finding that gesture so alluring.

“I can’t wait to mess you up all over again at home” Jamin commented with eyes fixed on him still in awe, biting lips.

“Bitch, please do” Shane answered with an exasperated sigh and giggling.

[falconemuses]

One Last Original Content(TM) Post Before I Migrate To The “Diary-Only” Blog

in case the title is misleading, i ought to clarify that i’m still keeping this blog open, just that it’ll only be for reblogs, while all personal text stuff will be in Falcone Chronicles. (it’s still empty at the moment.) easier to find shit that way. anyway, i thought i should probably give an update on my current life situation, since the last time i wrote at length i think was pre-moving, and stuff was all dicey back then so i’m afraid i might have inadvertently caused people to worry because of the (relative) radio silence. i mean, i do reblog stuff so clearly you know i’m still alive, but probably you might be wondering about everything else i said i was doing/going to do. a bit egoistic of me to assume that the affairs of my life are cause for interest to anyone else, but, well, on more than one occasion i’ve found out that my existence apparently meant more to someone else than i thought it did, and it was really awkward and everything but anyway, the point is, i guess i’ll just be on the safe side and give an update so nobody worries. probably better to be perceived as narcissistic than to accidentally freak somebody out making them wonder indefinitely what the fuck happened to me.

in summary, 3 things happened: a) i graduated from university b) i got a job c) i moved out of my parents’ house technically i start work in august, but i list it in that order because i got the job offer before i moved out, so to my mind that comes first chronologically. so....that’s why i haven’t been writing very consistently in july. there was a lot of stuff going on, pre-work health checkup, two graduations - two (2)!!! i didn’t want to go for either of them, but you know how asian parents get with their kids’ achievements. i figured since i’m already being an unfilial child and moving out of their house and paying some random landlord rent instead of giving them the rent money (i’m still giving them money, just not as much as i could have if i wasn’t also paying rent), i might as well just give them this one pleasure. there’s free food at the ceremonies, anyway, so i saved on two days of food. they’re going to both of my brother’s graduations as well. and yes, that apostrophe is in the correct place. i have one brother. he has two (2) degrees as well. we are overachieving siblings. i pity my sister. maybe by the time she’s old enough for university she’ll be pressured into taking 3.

so.....that’s what i’ve been doing for the past month! enjoying independent life. everything’s.....pretty good so far. i didn’t get as much done as i’d envisioned i would before the move, but that’s fine, i guess. i wrongly assumed i’d have the entire july to draw and write and compose but uhhhh nope there was graduation(s) and there was pre-work health checkup and there was graduation photoshoot and there was me being an idiot and signing up for a career focus group even though i already have a job secured. i did get $20 for participating, so LOL. for a while i attempted to SocialiseTM by joining this “art journaling” club in which you meet every monday night and draw stuff according to a theme the group leader will suggest, and then after you draw you share about the stuff, but uhhh.........nope. HAHA. the point was really to try and become more......i don’t want to say “neurotypical”, because that makes it sound like i’m not - uhhhhh, i don’t know how to explain this - i wanted to be “perfect”. like connor the android from dbh. “my appearance and voice were specifically designed to enhance my integration with humans”/ “i can be whatever you want me to be, lieutenant. your partner, your buddy to drink with, or just a machine, accomplishing a task.” i wanted to be the Model Citizen, “always accomplish(ing) my mission”. and like, i have my academics, i have my music, i have my art - but my social skills.......are shit, to put it bluntly. and like that’s been the biggest problem in my life. that’s why i gave up law to go into scientific research. the workload doesn’t faze me, it’s the social aspect of the law industry that scares me. like, my friends who are working now, they have to go to their bosses’ CNY parties?!?!?! i will just die, okay??! in the lab, i don’t have to worry about the appropriate amount of eye contact to make. i don’t have to make small talk. i don’t have to worry about body language because i’ll just be hunched over my microscope and my specimens all day long. my boss and colleagues won’t care if i can’t understand their jokes over drinks nights. and.....i’m really, really happy to have this job, don’t get me wrong, it is like, 90-95% of the way to an ideal situation already (the ideal situation would be a microbiology or genomic lab, not radiobiology, but what even are the odds of getting exactly what you want? this is already as close to perfect as possible, and i’m really glad for it.) but sometimes i feel like a failure, giving up on a lucrative career because i didn’t want to put the effort into improving my social skills. but then again, i moved out because i didn’t wanna act for my parents, so why the hell should i have to act for strangers? so i decided, fuck it, i’m gonna just - be me, i guess. i’m gonna do whatever the fuck weird things i wanna do so long as they don’t hurt anybody. if i wanna eat the same fucking thing every day imma do it. if i wanna sit at my computer and rewatch a 3-second clip of a cat saying “nooooo” for hours on end i’mma do it. if i don’t wanna hang out i shan’t hang out. i’m done trying to please everyone. i earned my freedom (well, technically still paying for it, i have SO MUCH STUDENT LOANS :O) and i’m gonna spend it damn well how i please. it ain’t illegal nor morally wrong to sit at home and stare at fish all day.

that.....turned into a bit of a weird rant there, but it’s not too overly emotional or depressing so i guess i’ll leave it up, lol. anyway, there you go, that’s what i’ve been up to. see you in the other blog, if you wanna read about my personal life. if not, well - see you in this one, in which i just reblog stuff? lmao. BAI.

[synescape]

It’s been a while since I’ve written a solid DIY guide. It’s tough to follow up on the wildly popular DIY Wool Dreads; to this day my most retweeted, linked and shared post. Fake hair truly is luff.

Supposing you’ve now completed the finger-scalding, hair pulling ritual that is developing your fake mane, it’s time to tend to those hard working hands.

Afterall, what’s a kitty cat without her claws?

And so I give you this new guide to full gel nail tip extension manicures, complete with step by step instructions and links to all the products and supplies you need to stock your own mini home salon.

This guide is fairly lengthy so I’ve broken it down into four steps. You can quick jump from here to help you navigate:

Step 1: Precautions

Step 2: Materials

Step 3: Process

Step 4: Care

Let’s begin:

Step 1: Caution – Wet Nails Ahead

I’m going to start this article with the same disclaimer I had on wool dreads: this is an arduous, time consuming process.

One does not simply do nails.

Sure, there is risk of injury (although not much, I’ve deliberately exclude pointy objects from this toolkit), risk of infection if tools are not properly sanitized, and of course the ever lurking risk of pulling out your hair in frustration – thereby ruining both your wool dreads and your fledgling nail tips.

There’s a reason nail techs spend many hours and pay hefty tuition fees to learn this skill. It ain’t easy, and even given saintly amounts of patience, you will not be churning out competition grade nails on your first try.

That said, I believe the DIY experience makes you truly appreciate a craft.

I like to think what I’m giving you here is not only the instructions and tools you need for the job, but a renewed respect and understanding for why professionals charge the rates they do.

So like with fake hair, if you want perfect, quick results HIRE A PRO.

If you’re stubborn as a mule and fabulous as a unicorn however, move on to the materials portion.

Step 2: Resource Gathering

Gel nail extension tips are pretty high up on the scale of complexity. If your idea of hand TLC is chewing a millimetre off your nails, this is not a good starting place.

However for the mani-curious (oh yeah, there’s gonna be a tonne of terrible puns here), I suggest following this guide to acquire the basic supplies you need for everything from a quick polish change to full extensions.

So without further ado, here’s your shopping list:

UV nail lamp – $4 – $13

Gel nail brush set – $1

Nail file – $1

Nail buffer – $1

Nail cutter (optional) – $1.50

Nail tips – $1

Nail glue – $1

UV nail builder gel – $3

UV gel top and base coat – $2

UV gel colour (optional) – $1

Nail decorations (optional) – $1

Nail polish remover

Isopropyl alcohol

Total damage: about 25 bucks, free shipping

I bought all of my supplies on eBay, and filtered by the cheapest option. Yes quality matters, but we are not enlisting in the nail olympics just yet.

If this is your first attempt, buy in small quantities, and buy cheap. You may hate the process, and you will probably screw up a few times so why waste platinum product. The only downside to ordering online is the 4-6 weeks it takes for the stuff to arrive from China.

Let’s dissect that shopping list a little further:

Material breakdown

The formula to nail extensions is actually very simple: clean nails, glue on tips, slather on builder gel, cook under UV light and polish.

The first thing you should invest in is the UV nail lamp.

I kid you not, this is now my most used appliance, second only to my kale-smashing blender.

When I don’t spend hours doing a full manicure, I can bake on a layer on coloured polish in 60 seconds and walk out the door. Why anybody still buys traditional nail varnish is a mystery to me. I mean, do you people like being useless for 60 minutes while nails dry??

There are two types of lamps out there: UV bulb and LED.

Bulb based lamps are typically larger, which means you can fit your whole paw inside. The bulbs are modular and can be replaced. UV bulb lamps however take longer to cure your polish (we’re talking 2 mins vs. 60 secs on LED). They’re also clunky and fragile to transport.

I am personally in team LED because uh hello welcome to the 21st century. LED lamps range from table sized two-hand models, to something the size of a flashlight that you can stick in your pocket for field repairs. LED lamps are also typically USB based which means you can bus power them from your laptop, or plug ’em into a wall with your phone adapter (6-10W).

This is my lamp, it smushes to palm size and weighs less than my watch. The other model I featured above (and factored into the total material cost) is a bit larger, sturdier and was obviously selected because it looks like a freakin’ panda.

I don’t advise a bulb lamp, but meh — whatever you get your hands on will do.

Up next, a bunch of handy tools to have around the house:

Builder gel application brushes

You really only need one, but they come in packs for a buck so no harm in having extras. The same brushes can be used for drawing on designs. I prefer using the smallest of the set for more control. The brushes come with protective caps, keep these safe because getting any fibres or pet hair on the bristles is a death sentence for the brush.

Nail files 

These also come in packs for 99 cents. You’re looking for something fairly harsh like the 100/180 grit pictured here. These are for shaping your gel nails only not for your real nails – they will do a lot of damage to those, so DO NOT mix them into your regular manicure kit

Buffers

I wear these out more often than the files, so it’s good they also come in packs of several for a single, glorious dollar. Buffers have four grit layers, typically for filing, removing hard edges, smoothing and polishing. The final step has a rubbery finish that gives your nails squeaky gloss. These are also safe to use on natural nails, but sparingly – I’m not in favour of thinning out your keratin layers for any reason.

Manicure clippers (optional)

A good ol’ pair of nail clippers will also do the job making these optional, but for $1.30 why not have them in your kit? The advantage is the blade matches the curvature of plastic tips and because there is no torque when cutting, the nails are less likely to crack. It’s literally impossible to injure yourself with these, and since cutting acrylic is awful for blades, it’s worth investing in some so you don’t ruin your natural nail clippers.

Now for the main show:

Nail tips

Tips come in multiples of 500 and are bagged by sizes. Your thumbs range from a 1-3, whereas the most discerning pinkies are an 8-10. The most common two types of tips are full and half well, illustrated above. I typically use half wells when my natural nails are long, and full wells when my nails are short to give me more surface area to glue. Tips are usually clear or pearl white, but they also come in every colour imaginable so the underside of your nail matches (or contrasts) your polish. Note that colourful tips are thicker plastic and harder to work with, as are stilettos, and the myriad of other shapes you can buy.

Glue

Crappier (and cheaper) than average superglue. Does not heat on contact, but will still bond instantly so avoid nose picking while handling.

Builder gel 

This is the principal substance of your fake nail. Builder gels usually come in clear, white and transparent pink, but every colour and texture exists (built in sparkles, holographic gels etc). The strength and application of your gel determines the durability of your nails. Quality matters, but that said for your first attempt, buy cheap and experiment. The brand above is reasonably good, and being on the inexpensive side you won’t cry about it when a pot gets contaminated with feline fuzz or goes stale from light exposure. If you’re looking for the good stuff however, IBD Gel is the golden standard.

And for the finishing touches:

Base & top coat sandwich your polish to keep the application smooth, make it last longer and give it a shine. If you only buy one, get the top coat because it has the gloss finish (or matte if you prefer). They typically come in pairs however and may also include a primer. The primer is for natural nails, to remove oils and make the gel polish adhere better.

Gel polish comes in every colour, texture and style imaginable. Matte, magnetic, mirror finish, mood changing, you have endless choices! Just make sure it’s UV gel that cures with a standard lamp.

Deco is optional and comes in millions of styles. Metallic cutouts, crystals, pearls, striping tape, stamps, transfers, foils – just go ahead and search for “nail art” and be prepared to lose an evening. I have a shoebox full of these and they can also be used as body decoration with a touch of eyelash glue.

Not included in my total materials bill is isopropyl alcohol and nail polish remover (not acetone!), I’m assuming you have these around the house. You will also need some paper towel, the coarser the material the better – cotton pads and soft tissues leave a fuzzy residue which makes your application more difficult.

Last but not least, find yourself a nice container you can use for brush cleaning. I commandeered an old spice jar for this purpose and put about 1cm of nail polish remover in it.

Step 3 – Application Process

Now for the fun part! Wooooo!!

NB. I’m illustrating this guide with pictures I took myself, maneuvering the camera with my knees and pressing the trigger with my nose tip. So you’re welcome, that was way harder than doing the actual nails.

I also pulled out my old materials to match the tools listed above and demonstrate the results – sorry I’m an IBD girl now, once you go pro-gel it’s hard to go back. I chose a neutral finish to keep this simple, but in truth doing flat, light colours is the hardest thing imaginable. Designs can easily mask mistakes, and glitter builder gels or dark polishes are far more forgiving to imperfections and the perennial ambient fuzz sticking to your nails.

Let’s get started:

Clear a surface.

I mean seriously, clear it! Make space, lay out all your tools for quick access. Assuming you’re doing this on yourself, it’s hard to stop in the middle to fetch a tool you forgot.

I also prefer working on surfaces that are wood or metal, or at any rate a hard material that is completely free of dust.

Lock away your pets, DND your phone, and download the Chrome extension that disabled Netflix pauses (free lifehax, follow my blog k?). Like in my DIY dreads post, I’m giving you fair warning this is a lengthy process and it requires even more careful attention that rolling wool snausages.

To give you a benchmark, your average nail tech takes an hour for a full set of extensions. It takes me about three hours for extra fancy nails and I’ve done this dozens of times. For you? Lol. Make sure you’re sitting comfortably. 

Next, wash your hands with an antibacterial soap and dry.

Match five nail tips from your kit to your nail size and set them aside ordered.

Chances are your nail beds aren’t identical on both hands, so do this one paw at a time. They won’t fit perfectly, so err in favour of larger rather than smaller. You’ll be cutting and filing them down anyway, and too small a nail tip introduces potential break points.

Using a stamp of paper towel dipped in alcohol, clean the surface of each nail thoroughly. Removing oils and soap deposits ensures the gel application is flawless. I like to start by doing the nails on my dominant hand – it’s a little clumsy, but good practice, and it makes the second half of the process when you’re getting tired (and cranky) a lot easier.

Holding the edges, apply a drop of glue to the well of every nail tip, and slosh it around so it fills the space. Feel free to shake off any excess, just be careful it doesn’t land on something you care about.

Then one by one apply even and firm pressure, bonding the well to your nail. If you’re using full wells, aim for the halfway point of your nail, giving yourself a solid base. With half-well tips use the shape of your nail to guide the semi-circle. In either case, I like to make sure the nail tip adheres to a portion of the nail firmly rooted in the flesh, rather than a floating natural nail tip. This ensures more structural resistance, and as your nails grow out, you’re less likely to have an awkward and painful break.

You’ll notice in my photos that I’m doing both hands at once. That’s ’cause I’m a boss. Don’t try that on your first run. Be patient and take one mitten at a time.

Snip nails to desired length. You are not shaping them now, although if you’re going for pointy nails, you can clip the corners into the shape as a preamble. As a rule of thumbs (*snicker*) square nails are strongest, but if the itty-bitty finger shovel look ain’t your thing, you can later round your corners slightly or go for an oval look. Stilettos require quite a bit of length and are extremely fragile.

I strongly recommend going shorter, especially if you’re new to extensions. Believe me, in the first few days of having your nails, you’ll be bonking into things like a kitten with clipped whiskers. The easiest way to accommodate longer talons is to grow into them.

Regardless of whether you use full or half well extensions, you will notice there is a bit of a ridge where the plastic nail is glued down. Using your gritty nail file gently smooth the transition with a few quick swipes. Do not over-file. You don’t want to thin the nail tip, or your natural nail surface too much.

Roughing up the surface of your natural nail and the plastic tip makes it easier for the first gel layer to adhere. It does however damage your natural nails – you are literally shaving the top layers – so do it sparingly and don’t try to perfectly sand the entire nail bed. Mind your cuticles, they’re suffering enough through this process.

Check out this reference photo to give you an idea of the intended result:

Left hand filed and shaped, right hand un-filed

Time to paint!

Make sure your lamp is plugged in, your brushes cleaned, your little tube of nail polish remover at the ready and your gel builder is unsealed.

This is the part that requires the most care and patience.

Using your brush, pick up a very small amount of gel builder and place it in the centre of your nail bed just below the tip well edge. Wipe the excess gel off your brush on the edge of the container, and then slowly brush the drop of gel down, to a millimetre away from your cuticle, and then up towards your tip. Use very little pressure. Then smooth it to the left and right nail edge, avoiding contact with the cuticle.

The gel is very thick compared to a nail polish, but you want to apply it in very thin layers. This allows for better control to avoid slopping it on your cuticles. Aim for less coverage with your initial layers and reinforce the centre of your nail before expanding to full edge filling.

Cook under the UV light for 60 seconds. Most lamps have timers which automatically shut off. There’s no harm in baking twice, especially with the initial layers to make sure the gel is completely cured.

As the gel cooks, it leaves a sticky residue on the nail surface. Do not touch or wipe the nail between layers. The residue helps bond additional layers.

Depending on the size of your lamp you may be able to cook your whole hand at once. Since mine is the tiny portable variety, I like to do both my thumbs first, then the four fingers. It also helps to set the lamp on a mirror or a white surface so the light gets reflected for even coverage. The gel need direct UV exposure, so if your thumbs are twisted while doing the whole hand, it won’t cure properly.

Add thin layers of the gel builder gradually, baking after each application. Focus on filling the base of your nail to smooth the ridge of the well, and taper towards the tip of the nail. When you reach the tip of the nail, use your brush to smooth the gel under the tip edge, to form a complete seal around it.

I usually do 4-5 coats of gel builder. The key is thin coats, you want the result to be an even, smooth layer that is still slightly flexible so your nails don’t snap when you inevitably hit them against something. Look at your nails in profile as you’re building them up to make sure you’re not getting a bubble or any funny dips on the surface.

When you’re done with the gel, drop your brush in the nail polish remover container and slosh it around, then wipe down with a paper towel and cap it.

Once you’re satisfied with the coverage of your gel layers, use your coarse file to sand them down. Focus on tip corners and edges more than the middle section to blend the acrylic to the edge of your nail. Make sure the builder hasn’t bled and formed a hard edge on your cuticles. You have one chance to file these down now, but be careful and don’t over-file as it ruins the structural integrity of the nail.

Depending on the colour of your builder gel and nail tips, the well edge may still be visible. Sanding down, and then using the buffer sponges in four steps to smooth the nail will give it a flat white, matte appearance.

If you did the process one hand at a time, at this point you should repeat the steps on your other hand. In this sand-blasted form, your nails are sturdy and ready for polish.

Once you’re done buffing your other paw, wash your hands thoroughly with soap. Using a small paper towel pad dipped in alcohol, clean the surface of the nail to remove any leftover soap, skin oils, or the goopy gel residue.

Work one hand at a time again. The clear layers and colour bottles come with standard nail polish applicators, but you can also use your cleaned gel applicator brush too.

Apply base to alcohol wiped nails. Cook. Apply your desired polish colour. Bake. You may want a few coats of polish; for example my nude gloss colour took four thin layers. Apply top coat. Cure with UV light again.

Repeat on other hand, making sure you wipe your nails before beginning in case they accidentally touched fuzz or oils. When applying the top coat to nail tips, make sure to carry it slightly under the tip to form a seal.

If you want to glue gems, freehand designs or decorate your nail in any other way, now is the time to do it. Just make sure you top coat everything to seal it in place.

When you’re all done, wash your hands with soap again.

Then baste your cuticles with a heavy duty moisturizer – they’ve suffered enough for one day. You can also treat them with essential oils, but avoid soaking them for too long so your natural nail doesn’t soften and damage the new tips.

And that’s it, you’re done!

Time to flaunt your new talons.

Step 4: Care

How long do nail tips usually last? 

Hard to say. It’s a fine balance between your klutz-coefficient, the rate at which your nails grow, and your attention span for a colour or style.

Assuming you don’t break any of them, you can sand down the polish layer, and fill in the outgrown area with new gel builder, refinishing the nails. In theory, you could do this forever, shortening the nails along the way as they get unruly.

Keeping extensions for long periods of time however is very unhealthy for your nails. The gel seal does not allow them to breathe, and bacteria can also accumulate under the tips.

Therefore, I don’t recommend keeping the same set of extensions for more than a month at a time. Likewise, I also advise against consecutive sets of extensions. Give your nails a chance to heal between applications.

Field repairs

I got into the habit of keeping an itty-bitty tube of superglue in my wallet for emergency fixes. I was instantly popular with the office fashionistas who were walking around with suspicious bandaids on their finger tips.

A drop of glue will seal a break in a hurry, and if the damage isn’t too extensive, a quick sanding, a new coat of builder and fresh polish will restore the nail painlessly.

If you’re travelling you can make yourself a mini kit of a portable UV lamp (note there are flashlight sized models), a mini builder gel pot, a brush, file and a colour/top coat.

Other types of damage

If you improperly applied the builder gel, if it’s been exposed to the sun or otherwise expired, you likely won’t get breaks, but an entire nail may peel off. This is very damaging to the natural nail since your tips are bonded to your nail. If you notice the separation starting (usually from a cuticle edge), use the removal procedure below to safely take it off and build a new nail.

Avoid soaking your hands for too long (ie. saunas, hot tubs, long showers). Your natural nails soften and become more flexible with temperature and humidity, but your gel nail tips do not, so you may get a peel/break.

Avoid harsh chemicals, corrosive soaps etc. and moisturize your cuticles often, applying cream to the skin not the nail surface. Use a dry brush to clean under the nails.

Removal

Well, that’s a whole other chapter – and I sincerely recommend looking it up carefully before attempting.

DO NOT under any circumstances crack or peel the nails off.

Sand the top layer of the nail as best as you can without reaching your natural layers. Then soak in a bath of nail polish remover, or tape cotton balls dipped in the stuff to your nail until the remaining gel shell softens.

You can also use tips like these for the soak, although I personally found them very cumbersome:

Use a hard plastic stick to gently scrape off the remaining goop. Trim the nails, avoid filing while weakened from the chemicals.

After the ordeal, soak your nails in every moisturizing-tears-of-unicorn-emulsion you can find to restore their pH level and keep them from flaking.

Comments questions?

Post below and I will do my best to advise you.

I am not a trained nail tech, like most of my skill sets I learned this stuff off youtube and cursory google searches. That said I’ve had some practice at it by now and I’m happy to share my experiences.

Feel free to ask for advice on where to source materials as well, I have dozens of resources bookmarked.

Good luck!

DIY guide to gel nail extensions, complete with materials, step by step instructions and other resources. It's been a while since I've written a solid DIY guide. It's tough to follow up on the wildly popular 

[itsworn]

Smokey Stories: A Pep Talk Pays Off

Smokey gives a pep talk to Dennis Hulme before the Indy 500

When we left Smokey last month, he was engaged in a somewhat heated discussion with Dennis Hulme, one of three Indy rookie drivers (although previous Formula 1 driving champions) that Goodyear had brought to drive in the Indy 500.  Smokey had spent a considerable amount of pre-qualifying time attempting to get the car set up in a way that would make it competitive, despite Hulme’s insistence that it was un-safe and not race worthy.  He’s suggested to Hulme that he (Smokey) had the contractual right to remove and replace him with another driver.  Hulme disagreed until Smokey reminded him of certain terms that were contained in the driver’s contract that he’d signed.

So Smokey asks him, “Does the car dart on straights and sometimes jump two lanes either way?” Hulme says, “Exactly.  It’s as if you rode with me.”  Smokey continues, “In the corners does it feel like it’s on ice and you are on the edge of push or loose all the way through the corner in the ‘on throttle’ parts?”  Again, Hulme says, “It’s as if you are in the car with me, man it’s bad.”  Smokey then says, “If you get a good shot off of four and two do you get a little wheel spin?  And does the car get twitchy?”  Hulme’s response, “Exactly.”

Smokey then gets right to the point and says, “Denny, you need to make up your mind up whether you want to risk your fat ass or get behind the concrete wall with me.  Every damn car out there that’s in the running does all that bad crap and more.  If you ain’t willin’ to extend yourself, go back to Europe.  Besides all that, I’m going to give you about twenty-five more horsepower for tomorrow’s qualifying run.  I’m also gonna bump-steer all four wheels to damn zero.  By 9:00a tomorrow morning, this car will be as ready as it ever will be to qualify.”

And finally, Smokey capped off this little discussion by saying, “Either go to the driver’s meeting and draw a qualifying number or I will.  I’m gonna get this car qualified tomorrow with you or without you.”  To which Hulme replies, “If I leave, who you gonna get?”  Smokey then says, “Jochen Rindt,” who was one of the other three Goodyear drivers, to whom Smokey had not spoken at all.

Well, Hulme is pretty upset by now and says, “If I stay and kill myself tomorrow, it will be on your conscience forever.”

It’s no surprise how Smokey responds to this statement.  “If you believe that crap, go home.  I’ve never had anybody hurt bad, let alone get dead.”  In addition to all that, Smokey had logged some track time with the car and was clearly familiar with all its characteristics, so he knew what he was talking about in terms of how the car performed.

The next morning in the 9:00a practice session as Hulme gets into the car, Smokey tells him “the car and tires are as good as it gets, drive it like I tell you, stay off the brakes and when you get back in it, stay in it.”  Smokey notes, “He’s still plenty upset and I get the ‘If I get killed’ story again.”

Hulme turns three warm-up laps and “then the fifth, sixth and seventh lap are fast enough to sit outside in the front row.  I bring him in.  Goodyear is going nuts.  Denny is grinning like a hog in a mud hole.  For the first time, he calls me ‘mate’ and says it easier going fast than going slow.”  Smokey responds, “No crap.”

Then comes qualifying.  Smokey tells Denny to “give the signal to start this qualifying run the second he passes the big oak tree coming off of four.  You won’t believe it.  The s.o.b. wastes his best lap, forgets to put his hand up.  By the fifth hard lap the tires are gone, so instead of the front row we wind up ’bout in fourth row.  He is one happy s.o.b., but I’m not.  T.A. and I had stayed up all night working on the car and Denny forgets to put up his hand to signal start of qualifying runs.  He then disappears to find another ‘bird’ (woman) for the weekend.”  Meanwhile, for the remaining week before the race, “We run all week with full fuel load, traffic, hot days, windy days and damp days.”  It was a tough pre-race week.

“Then it’s show-time and the weather turns crappy.  We start but the rain stops us.”   And then, Smokey observed that “the mental drain of one start is bad.”  While waiting for the rain to stop, “We sit under that tarps lined up on the track, asking and answering the same dumb questions a thousand times.  We are all about as spooky as 100 cats in a room with 100 rocking chairs.”

As it turned out, “Denny shows he’s a racer and despite all this distractions ends up fourth.”  Smokey doesn’t go to the awards banquet but Denny does and collects the fourth-place money.  “Denny gets the check, we split it by mail.  He is gone from my life like we never met.”

Then begins a saga in Smokey’s life where he truly departs from the Indy path he’d been on up to this point.  With money essentially no limitation, he goes to work for Bunkie Knudsen, formerly President of GM but who had migrated into the presidency of Ford Motor Company.  Knudsen had said to Smokey, “I want to quit running the special double overhead cam and now turbocharged Ford engine. I want you to run Indy this year (’69) and then start to build a 350 pushrod engine for 1970.  I want to quit using special non-stock engines after Indy ’69.  You build a new building and store those double overads and maybe give ’em away, but go to Indy now.”

Smokey responds by saying, “Hell, ain’t it a little early?  It’s only April 2 and leaves twenty-nine days to show up at Indy race ready.  I’ll need a car, won’t I?  Only one I can buy is a Gurney (Eagle).”  And then he recalls, “Remember money is not a problem when the Boss says ‘Do it.’  You can do whatever it takes.”  And although Smokey recalls that Gurney was the Indy champion with his ’67 and ’68 Eagles, “his ’69 Eagle should have been called a ‘goofy bird.’  It was a high drag, nose flying s.o.b. car.”

So let’s summarize Smokey’s plight at this point.  He’s less than a month from needing to show up race-ready at the Brickyard.  The Eagle he just unpacked is designed to take a four-cam Ford engine…and he doesn’t have a driver.  Next month we’ll unveil the series of events he experienced working through this nest of issues, plus a few related ones that he could only imagine happening in the process

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