falconemuses

[falconemuses]

[falconemuses]

by Samuel Millan Jimenez

[falconemuses]

This will make you cry.

[falconemuses]

i'm hardly ever on this app anymore, and i guess it's also a good thing that no one IRL follows me on this app. it's a good place to shout into the void where i don't necessarily want IRL people seeing it, but also, just in case, there is a record somewhere, that people can find.

i.....don't know if there's something going wrong with my body. i was up to 300 pushups a day (with weights and dips interspersed). then one day something just - snapped. i was....feverish? in pain? for a while. then i thought i was better, but it's been weeks now and i still can't get above 150 without my heart hurting something fierce. i wake up in pain. i'm always tired.

i just got a new job but we don't get time off until after the 3 months of probation. even then sick leave needs to be certified by a doctor by 11am. i don't want to go to a doctor for many reasons. 1) maybe it's just nothing, in which case i will have wasted money and embarrassed myself. and that would actually be the best case scenario. but it's singapore and i'm transgender and autistic and no matter how much the government tries to pretend they are progressive and inclusive they are not, and i'll most likely get dismissed as a hypochondriac or mentally unsound. even if something is actually wrong. so i'll have wasted money just to be gaslit, slurred at, and then i might just - be screwed over anyway. so i don't want that.

i don't want to die, but i also don't....see a way out of....whatever my life is, other than death. i'll try to hold on as long as possible. building a lovely beachside villa in my mind and populating it with cats and sushi restaurants down the beach helps. i go in there whenever life gets too much, which is often. i guess i'm just - i don't want anyone IRL to worry about me, in the event that it really is nothing and a few good weeks of hard work will build my stamina back up, but in case it really is something and i don't get to say bye, then, well, someone will find this.

[falconemuses]

google help me

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[falconemuses]

what goes through my head everytime the FUCKING government says they want to build a FUCKING inclusive society

i am sorry for the sudden outburst of wrath but it has to come out sometimes and at least this time it came out as Art. amusing, happy-go-lucky clown falcone will resume shortly

The Wrong Kind of Different

"hey, did you hear about that girl who thinks she's a boy

she went to that country with all the tr*nnies and f*ggots to cut off her tits

her poor parents no more hope for grandchildren she's lucky they haven't disowned her but she's so ungrateful refusing to speak to them

if you ask me i think she might be confused she talked about being ""touched"" before you know???

or just crazy she practically has a reservation at the psych ward yes, that must be it she must be crazy because in a first world country like ours how could such a thing happen? our police force is so good our laws are so good the news would surely have reported it she probably made the whole thing up

tsk tsk the state of the world today when such degenerates are allowed to ruin the lives of good citizens

anyway

would you like to donate to our charity? we are committed to helping special children achieve their full potential we believe that no one should be disadvantaged for their differences."

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hey.......multibillionaire tech bosses......hear me out.....

no this isn't an eat the rich post or a "CARE ABOUT THE MASSES" post i know you don't wanna hear about that.... this is pure and simple, pioneer-in-the-industry idea. isn't that what you all wanna be, thinkers leader pioneers?

what if, instead of developing AI, you made tech to upload people's brains directly into the web, like in san junipero? listen i don't wanna live in this hunk of junk anymore. no it's not because of dysphoria - or, well, it's not ONLY because of dysphoria. it's because it's a USELESS hunk of junk that no medical tests can find anything wrong with but yet every day in every way it grows shittier and shittier and i'm only 28 and i KNOW people are judging me for being lazy and procrastinating but i legitimately can't even do things that i enjoy? it's a struggle to stay awake even after 3L of concentrated tea? i woke up this morning and nearly fainted and then when i tried to eat to raise blood sugar maybe then the stomach was like NAH I'M TOSSING THAT OUT. i WANT to be productive and do a JOB and EARN money (well, i mean, no one *really* wants to work but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, i want to be Financially Independent) but my BODY won't let me KEEP A JOB even though i have TWO DEGREES WITH HONOURS from a "PRESTIGIOUS" UNIVERSITY because i have to take off sick SO OFTEN and never mind WORK it won't even let me DRAW or - YOU KNOW, FUCKING STAY UPRIGHT for 10 minutes?! even eating is such a FUCKING STRUGGLE cuz i get TIRED in the middle of EATING what RIDICULOUS BULLSHIT is this body trying to pull.

please i'll be a good little unit of production if you just upload me into the cloud i will screen posts or fight viruses whatever you want

[falconemuses]

same thing, really

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fairy sets from my romantic renaissance collection :>

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lmfao i actually did assign this for them because AU!Jared runs a televised D&D campaign to promote his book series Marvellous Merlyssa - and all the characters are based on people he knows IRL.

Merl - Artificer (Battle Smith) Jared - Wizard (Order of Scribes) [he is also the DM] Fal - Bard (College of Creation) Liz - Sorcerer (Pyromancy) [really, she doesn’t have a single non-fire/light related spell] Art - Multiclass: PalaFighter (Oath of Devotion/Eldritch Knight) Seth - Multiclass: PalaBard (Oath of Devotion/College of Swords)

Art and Seth were a bit difficult to place because Art has the very....noble character but he has like 0 Wisdom so it’s a bit difficult to justify him as a pure Paladin. Seth.....also has the very noble character and he does have a bit more wisdom than Art but also very little AND he is VERY flashy and showy and since Fal’s already a bard and Art multiclassed and they have no clerics Seth is also multiclassing so they have at least 1 full paladin’s worth of healing magic between them. 

Bonus: The Baddies (who don't play in the AU campaign, but if they did-)

Morgana - Multiclass: Sorcerer/Artificer (Clockwork Soul/Battle Smith) Mordred - Multiclass: Warlock/Fighter (Hexblade/Eldritch Knight)

I have a suggestion:

What D&D/Pathfinder class is your OC?

(yeah sorry, i'm on a 5-years-and-counting ttrpg hyperfixation lol)

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[falconemuses]

[falconemuses]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

pride polls: gender edition

put your pronouns in the tags!

reblog to support another genderqueer!

(you'll probaby get a happy pride msg if i see u reblogged)

[falconemuses]

2023 sure was a Year of Becoming. I got my top surgery, AND I got my autism diagnosis. Wow. Both things I thought would be out of my reach forever (because of $$/the society that I live in/etc etc). Not even gonna lie feels even better than when I got my double degree. Cuz that (the degrees) just piled more expectations onto me (become a lawyer! publish papers!) but THIS (coming out, getting the DX) is like taking off a hot disgusting mascot suit that you've been sweating into for the past 28 years and moving clumsily around in because it's so bulky and awkward and now I'm just so LIGHT and FREE and MYSELF.

I hope I haven't used up my allotment of luck for the year and I still have enough left to either secure a steady job or get my business running well by December?

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[falconemuses]

Are any of your OCs LGBTQIA+?

Happy Pride Everyone!!!

[falconemuses]

My new webtoon ’Daughter of a Thousand Faces’ is out on Tapas now! If you’re into stories about disappointing princesses, her secret evil Demon teacher, and how bad of an idea this found family duo is…this is for you!

Shen Yuhua is a disappointment to the Grand Chaoyang Palace Sect, with no powers or great beauty, she brings nothing to the table for her immortal father. That all changes one day when she accidentally meets Chu Tian, the famed Demon of a Thousand Faces, her father’s arch nemesis… and accidentally frees him from his prison.

[Link to read]