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ghostofwriting · 8 days

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Kildare Split Part Four: in another life

Rafe Cameron x reader

Chapter 4: in another life

Note: Here's part four!! I'm still crying over TTPD. Down bad is so incredibly Rafeit's insane. Anyway!! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. This part covers the smau up until part 26. Good luck soldiers!!

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio, mentions of drugs, mentions of suicidal ideation.

Word Count: 6,722

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter 4: in another life

It’s a nightmare. Everything feels off. The walls are caving in. His mouth feels as if he had chewed on cotton balls for the past hour. It’s spinning. He’s lost control of himself and he doesn’t know how he’ll get it back.

It started because of the thought of them together. Forever. Married. Having kids and living happily ever after clawed and his chest and ate him from the inside out. It was an ugly feeling. He wanted to be happy for her. There was no way he could be. Not when he was so deeply in love with her. Not that he ever stopped.

It was just one blunt. He stole it from Barry. He was careful not to disturb any of the other drugs he had in there. Careful not to look at them too long. He’s been good. Has been clean for more than two years without any missteps. And here he is high once again. It’s just weed he tells himself. It’s fine. He’s fine.

They’re about to go onstage when Sofia loses her mind. She goes absolutely ballistic. He’s pulling her off to the side away from prying eyes.

“Stop. Relax. Let me explain.” Everything comes out in a jumble as he’s trying to balance his damn guitar and get her to stop flailing her arms everywhere.

“There’s no explaining anything. We are over. We are so done, Rafe. Holy shit I cannot believe I put up with your crazy obsession with your friend who by the way you didn’t even date. You’re insane.”

“Can you calm down for a second?”

“No! For your information Rafe. She doesn’t want you! She’s moved on! And we could have too but no. You’re here still pining over something that doesn’t exist. You are so incredibly disrespectful to me. I have been nothing but supportive of you. And I have put up with so much shit from you so much hatred because what? Did I take you away from her? You chose me! You left her. And now I’m leaving you.”

“Sofia-“

“The way you have treated me the last couple of months with your album release and hinting that it’s about her? Do you have any idea how that makes me look? How it makes me feel? You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh! Sorry! You and her! And barely even yourself, you know how I know?” She looks at him, volcanic ash in her eyes. “Because you’re fucking high right now!”

“Keep your voice down.” He pulls her deeper into the corner they’re standing in.

“Fuck you, Rafe. I loved you. I did. I thought that once she moved on, we would be okay. I was wrong. Do not sabotage this for her. She’s happy. You’re not good enough for her. And not for me.”

She does a 180 and storms off away from backstage and away from him. He looks up and Topper is staring at him from where he stands beside Sarah, her hand is on his arm, a look of concern on her face. He shakes his head at them and turns to the stairs that lead to the stage. He spots Y/N and Julio, they’re talking quietly to each other, he sees her laugh and touch Julio’s face, and he kisses the palm of her hand.

Fuck this. He runs back to the green room. He knows he left it around here somewhere and he knows where the lighters are. He digs through three of Barry’s jackets before he finds the blunt. Barry must have moved it. When he pulls it out, a plastic baggie with four white pills comes up with it. He thinks about putting them back. He wants to put them back. He hears the 5-minute warning, stuffs the baggie in his jeans and runs to find a lighter.

+++

There’s something off about Rafe. She notices when they begin their second song. He’s swaying more than usual, coming up and singing to her face a little too closely.

It must be because they’re trying to be friends. And maybe the fight with Sofia. It was pretty nasty the way she went at him. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, the crowd and music drowning them out. Sofia looked upset. She must have cooled off because she’s in the audience standing next to Sarah. Not that their manager would allow her to leave even if she wanted to. It would cause too much speculation online and that’s something they don’t need more of.

She hasn’t had to protect Julio from how Rafe and her used to act on stage, during their no-talking years, they still put on an act but it was nowhere near the level of how they acted pre-everything. They were pretty heavy on the PDA, without confirming anything of course. It was more like singing into each other's mics while staring longingly into each other’s eyes. A lot of heavy petting, she would drape herself around Rafe, Rafe would swing her around and carry her. They would practically make out on stage every show. They did everything but have sex. It’s no wonder the theories and rumours started.

Post everything that went down, they tamed it and kept it to their side of the stage unless they were switching over. They didn’t share a mic and looking at each other too long was off-limits. And now, well now, it looks like Rafe wants to sing into her mouth with the way he gets closer and closer. Julio knows about their past and he knows that she would never do anything to hurt him but this is a little much. She doesn’t want to rub anything in his face or make him feel disrespected. She also can’t diss Rafe on stage. They have an act. They’re all best friends and nothing bad has ever happened between them.

So she plays along. And she sings into his mic, she whips her hair in his face and he sings over her shoulder. They’re closer than they’ve ever been. This should be a fun one to look at online. At some point, her shirt comes off. She’s a little angry at Rafe’s immediate switch-up. She feels that since they’re just figuring out how to be friends, he could give it a rest and not go all out. So her shirt comes off. It got stuck on the mic stand, she got pissed off that it ripped a little and she took it off, throwing it into the crowd. At some point Rafe is not even fully on the stage anymore, he’s lying down looking up at her as he plays his guitar. She’s standing over him, singing into the mic and playing the bass all while wondering what the hell has gotten into him.

Security is going insane over Rafe hanging off the stage and people are trying to grab his legs. Sarah is diving into the crowd trying to get a shot of what’s happening on stage. She kind of wants the show to be over but at the same time, it’s the most fun she’s had on stage in a while.

+++

Trying to find their footing after not being friends for three years, that much is clear. One moment he’s trying to make out with her onstage and the next he can barely look at her. It has been a little bit harder than she thought it would be.

It’s strangely painful. The realization that they can’t go back to how they were before anything happened. She knew it wouldn’t be easy but these awkward silences might kill her.

She’s sitting between Topper and Rafe, staring directly at Barry’s bored face as Ash explains who kows what. Something about which celebrities and important label heads are coming to tonight’s show.

She didn’t care about the label heads. One of their most important shows had been the one two days ago. Their friends had all flown in from different places to see them. Now back in the city she calls home, that’s still all that matters.

Cleo and Pope flew in from New York, John B and JJ had flown in from Hawaii. JJ would be leaving almost immediately after to continue training for the next big surf competition and John B would be staying at Sarah’s. Julio was at her house, she didn’t want him to have to spend the entire day at rehearsals so she told him to come by when he was ready. Ward was around somewhere too, probably with Sarah and John B. Kelce was at his hotel and would be arriving later with Kie after he got her from the airport, the only one that had missed the last show. It was an important show for them because of their people not because of some random celebrity they didn’t know.

After the show, they would go to one of their favourite bars to celebrate and then she would be off to North Carolina for a week before moving to Madrid for the foreseeable future.

She was so excited to be there a bit before Julio started filming so they could visit his friends and family.

After Ash is done running them through the guest list, they have some downtime before their private soundcheck and the fan soundcheck. Fan Soundcheck is her favourite because they get to play some deep cuts and answer some fun questions.

They’re standing backstage as one of their stagehands announces they’ll be out in three minutes. They’re standing in a circle making sure that their in-ears are on. Barry and Topper bickering about some random thing.

“Ready, buddy?” She looks at Rafe, her eyebrow raised as Barry laughs.

“Buddy? Good one.” Topper laughs as Rafe’s face turns red.

“Okay yeah, I’ll never say that again.”

“Please,” she laughs, “let’s go.” She leads the guys onto the stage as their fans start screaming.

They play a song right off the bat and then sit down for a few questions.

Everything is going fine, the mood is great, they’re all vibing with each other on stage, it’s great. Right up until it’s not.

“Hi, my name is Sammy, my question is for Y/N.” She smiles at the girl and waves.

“Hi Sammy, I remember you! You saw our last show too,” she speaks into the microphone.

“Hi! Oh my goodness yes. I drove here from San Francisco after getting tickets last minute.” The girl rambles. “Okay, so I was wondering, what are you most looking forward to doing on your break?” She mulls over the question before answering.

“I’m going to be semi-moving to Spain for a while so probably just exploring the city.” Sammy nods and thanks her as the mic is passed to the next person.

Something shifts on stage after that question. She doesn’t know if she missed something or what, but suddenly the mood is tense. Barry’s in between her and Rafe and she can still feel the tension coming off him in waves.

After the last question, they played one more song and bid the fans goodbye, telling them they would see them in a few hours for the show.

Barry goes and does whatever Barry does before a show, Rafe storms off and Topper follows him. She looks over at her guitar tech who just shrugs his shoulders and takes her guitar from her.

She texts Julio asking when he will be getting to the arena. When she doesn’t receive an answer, she sits in the green room, with no idea where the boys are.

She dozes off for an hour before her phone blows up with texts from Rafe. She opens Julio’s message first, telling her that he would leave her house in an hour. Then she goes to Rafe’s texts, saying something along the lines of needing to talk to her. She sees that she has notifications from Twitter as well and opens those. From Rafe too.

“I need you”

“Please don’t go”

“Y/N”

What is he doing? They just talked about trying to be friends, she knows about his feelings but he can’t go around blowing up her phone. He’s just sad about Sofia, how could he expect her to stay after he confessed to her that he still had feelings for his ex who wasn’t really his ex?

She asks him what he’s doing and he asks to meet her. She tells him no, and that it’s too late to d this. Too late in the day, too late because the show is about to start, and too late because she’s going and she doesn’t want him.

After telling Cleo to haul ass to the arena. Needing to speak to her about the Rafe of it all. She runs to the bus to hide. She doesn’t want to see him so she’ll avoid the arena.

She doesn’t think about how if he doesn’t find her inside, he’ll look for her on the bus.

“Y/N?” She hears him call. She’s in her bunk, curtain drawn and holding her breath. He walks closer and stands in front of her bunk. She can see his shadow.

“I know you’re in there.” She stays quiet still. “Please talk to me.” She sighs, not able to deny him when he sounds so sad.

She draws the curtain open and meets his eyes.

“We talked about this.”

“No, we talked about how I would try to be your friend. Not how you’re going to move away with your boyfriend.”

“What did you expect me to do? Sit at home alone for however long the break ends up being?”

“No, I thought we could hang out when we were both home and repair our friendship or whatever.”

“Rafe, I can’t do that. I won’t put my life on hold for you anymore.”

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just feel the same way? Why won’t you love me?”

She’s surprised by his words. For the first time, she looks at him. Takes in his dishevelled appearance, his jittering hands, and the dilation of his pupils.

“Are you high?” she swings herself off her bed to get as much distance between them as possible.

“No.” He’s lying.

“What the fuck Rafe? Why would you do this to yourself?”

“Because I’m fucking sad okay? And I don’t want to feel anything.” She can’t believe he would go down this road again, after being clean for so long. She can’t believe he would be around her like this. Not when he knows how many bad memories it brings.

“You have to leave. You have to get away from me.”

“Y/N.” His voice cracks.

“No. You know my history, the shit I have been through because of drugs. You know it very well actually. I don’t need to be around your erratic behaviour. It’s triggering, it hurts me.” Her voice is firm.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” he backs up turning around quickly and storming off the bus.

She sits back down, her hands slightly shaking. If he’s using again, she doesn't know if she can have him in her life.

+++

He’s happy Sarah’s the one that finds him. He’s spread out on the floor. The curtain covers him from the fans' curious eyes. The stage is quiet, with only a few people coming and going. The rest of the crew’s at dinner.

“What are you doing?” She stares from above him.

“Laying.” He mumbles

“Are you not going to come eat dinner?” She points behind her in the direction of the lunch room.

“Not hungry.”

“What’s wrong?

“Sad.” He sees the annoyance at his one-word answers cross her face.

“Rafe, full sentences please.”

“Y/N told me to go away. That she couldn’t be around me.” She crouches down next to him.

“I thought you two were trying to be friends?” she questions.

“I ruined it.” He can feel himself well up.

“How?”

“By being high.”

“You are not.” she kneels left to him now, grabbing his face roughly and bringing it so his eyes are aligned with hers.

“I am.” She looks angry at him. He feels tears start to gather. God, why does he make the women he cares most about in his life so upset?

“You can’t be high. You’re an addict.”

“Just weed. Nothing more.”

“I don’t care if it’s just weed. It’s not just weed for you. It’s a slippery slope. You go from weed to forgetting you’re sober, to cocaine.”

“I’m sorry.” The pity in her look makes his stomach twist.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up before the show. You need food and to sober up.”

“I’ll be sad though.” She stands up, extending her hand out for him to take.

“You’re high and sad, I don’t think it helped.”

“That’s what the cocaine is for.” He jokes, it doesn’t earn him a laugh, just a scowl.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Maybe he can get drunk after the show, then he’ll forget how sad he is.

+++

The show goes off without a hitch. They are all smiles, dripping with sweat as they take the final bow of the tour. Tears are prickling her eyes as she looks over at Topper. His smile was big and shining. She looks at Rafe and he’s messing with Barry’s hair, a burst of laughter leaving him as Barry jumps on his back. Barry waves to the crowd as Rafe piggybacks him off. Topper grabs her hand and pulls her off the stage, waving one last time before they can’t be seen anymore.

Julio waits for her, a huge grin on his face and his arms wide open for her to run into. Once she lets go of him, she hugs Cleo and then Pope, and then she’s tackled by JJ, Kie, and John B.

“You all killed it!” JJ yells in her ear, making her jolt back.

“Fucking best show we’ve ever played!” Topper screams, coming up to her and hugging her. Barry joins the hug putting his sweaty arms around them both. Rafe hesitantly joins the group hug.

“Another successful tour,” he says, his eyes catching hers in the huddle. She smiles softly.

“Let’s go party!” Kie screams from down the hallway where she’s started to walk away.

Everyone starts cheering and following her lead. She finds Julio’s hand as they make their way to gather their stuff and leave the arena.

+++

He spots Julio come in through the back doors of the club, Y/N hanging off his arm, her lips swollen. His eyes soften when he looks at her. He sees how much he loves her, and how he would never hurt her. He would go to the ends of the world for her. And he hates him. He can’t stand that she’s not hanging off his arm. That he’s not the one kissing her against a brick wall outside a sleazy bar.

Sofia’s gone. They’re done. And he’s hurting for the relationship that he could have had if he had let go of Y/N. Not that he ever could have. It wasn’t in the cards for him. A world where he wasn’t irrevocably in love with her didn’t exist.

“You okay?” Sarah comes up next to him, planting her hands on the table to steady herself.

“I’m high again.” He confesses.

“Rafe, we talked about this.”

“I get that I just can’t stop. Everything hurts.” They look of pity from earlier returns.

“You need to stop.” He looks past her to where Y/N is.

“It’s just weed.”

“You don’t get to do weed. It’s not just weed to you. Slippery slope remember?

“I know.”

“I’m here for you. I think you need to go back to rehab. Either before you tour or after. It needs to be sooner rather than later. I’ll drive you there myself.” She offers.

The idea of going back to rehab irks him. He’s not as bad as he was last time. He has control over it. At least that’s what he tells himself.

“I don’t know how to be okay watching her be with someone else.” Sarah looks behind her at Y/N with Julio. Her smile lit up the room. Her laugh was music to his ears.

“You don’t get to break down about this. You made your choice. Let her be happy. you need to focus on staying sober, you heal, and you move on.”

“How?” He can’t rip his eyes away from the couple. Wishing with everything in him that it was him with her.

“By being her friend, Rafe.” She pats him on the back. He watches as she follows Topper out the back door where Y/N and Julio had come through earlier.

Everything he and Sarah talked about flies out the window when Julio of all people see him standing there with a little bag full of who knows what that Barry gave him. Barry’s drunk and high, that’s one of the only reasons he gave it to him. Barry would kill him any other time.

He’s been toying around with the idea of just doing it. Taking all these pills and getting it over with.

“You probably shouldn’t take those.” Rafe side glances at him but doesn’t speak.”

“If you’re doing that shit you shouldn’t be around her.” Rafe doesn’t like him and he likes him even less when he tells him if he can or can’t be around Y/N.

“Mind your business.” He barks out.

“This is my business, you know why? Because she’s my business. And she’s a recovering addict too, Rafe. Or did you forget?” He shrugs.

“Look, I don’t care if you care about your sobriety. But we both know you care about her enough not to risk hers. So if you’re going to do that shit, don’t bring it around her. And stay away from her.” This is the angriest he has ever heard the dark-haired man.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do on my tour with my friends.” Deep down he knows Julio’s right. Right now he doesn’t care what the man says. He wants to fight him.

“Do whatever the hell you want with yourself, I’m asking you to please, stay away from Y/N if you’re going to do drugs.”

“So you’re isolating her now too.”

“What does that mean?” Julio looks at him, one eyebrow raised, lips tight.

“You’re going to take her away. You’re taking her away from her family and her friends, to live in a country where she knows nobody. What kind of boyfriend does that?”

“I’m taking her away from you, right?”

“Yeah, you are.” The words spill from him before he can even think of denying them.

“She isn’t anyone’s to take away. She makes her own decisions and she chose to be with me.” Julio saying shit like that makes him feel like he thinks he’s the best option. The best man out there.

“Shut up. You’re not better than me just because you say that stuff.”

“I’m not better than anyone, just let her be.” He doesn’t say anything. Julio stands up.

“You had your chance. Let her go.” He stays quiet. Julio starts to walk away.

“I can’t.” He sees as Julio’s steps stutter.

“I’m going to fight for her.”

“There’s nothing left to fight for.” He walks away. Back into her arms. Where he wishes he could be.

+++

The two weeks back home in Kildare were filled with press and interviews. Filled with people asking them when the next album was and when they would be back. He was scheduled to go to rehab after two weeks back home but due to scheduling, they had to move his tour up. Y/N was already in Spain. She spent a bit of time with her family, made sure everything was good and then flew off to Europe, taking his heart with her.

They were okay again, he had explained that he would go to rehab and try to get himself under control again. She told him that she was proud of him and that she wished him all the best. She told him that she wouldn’t be able to make it to his first show but that she would be there for his last. She hugged him goodbye on her last day on the island and told him that he would see her soon.

The engagement scare still circulated in his brain. He’s so afraid that she would get engaged while she was away and he would truly lose her forever. Whenever he thought about it he felt like throwing up.

One month. One month and he would see her again.

+++

She stayed with Julio’s family for three weeks in Madrid before they had to go to Valencia where he had to film. She liked being in Madrid the most because she knew how to get around and she could stay at Julio’s house. In Valencia, they’re staying in a hotel so she doesn’t have the comfort of her things. She’ll go to the set with him most of the time but other times they are such long shoots she’d rather do anything else. She wants to explore but she’s so directionally challenged she’s scared to get lost and never return, her map couldn’t even save her sometimes.

Julio cooks for her every day, he teaches her how to cook some dishes he learned in his classes, they write songs together, and she runs songs by him which turns into them taking turns serenading each other. They drunkenly kiss under street lights and dance in the rain. She’s never felt happier, ever been so in love.

A month in and she’s back in Los Angeles where Rafe’s playing his last show. She’s excited to be here for him but she’s counting down the hours until she can go back to Spain.

When she gets home she checks to see that her house hasn’t been broken into and that all pipes are still in place. Her worst nightmare is returning to a flooded house. It all seems normal, she opens a few windows to air it out. Penny’s back in Spain with Julio so she feels extra alone.

She texts Rafe that she’s back in town and he texts her back within a minute.

“Thank you for coming, angel.” She smiles at the nickname and responds,

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

He sees her and his world stops. Her hair is in loose waves and it looks a little longer than when he had last seen her. His heart reaches out to her, begging to be in her presence. Sarah notices him there standing like an idiot and waves him over, the motion grabbing Y/N’s attention.

“Hey,” he says walking over.

“Hi!” She says putting her arms out to him, she goes on her tippy toes to reach him.

“How are you?” He asks her, slowly letting go.

“I’m good! Jetlagg is kicking my ass, but happy to be here! Look at you, rockstar.” She has a wide smile on her face that makes him feel like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.

“Yeah,” he laughs a little, scratching the back of his neck, shy all of a sudden.

“I heard a little rumour that Sofia was around?”

“I invited her to a show, extending a branch and all and we talked but that ship has sailed.”

“Are you on good terms?”

“I think we could be better, but it’s okay, I’m not holding my breath.” She links her arm with his, he looks at where their arms connect and feels like he’s on fire. How is he ever going to get over her?

+++

Rafe is amazing. He’s in a class of his own when he’s up on stage giving the show of a lifetime. It makes her tear up. She can’t help but think how he almost gave this all up when they were younger. She can’t imagine him anywhere but the stage. If he were working for his dad, his star would be caged. She’s so happy she could be a small part of his journey. He deserves the world.

For the first time since they started talking again, she feels like they can go back to normal. She loves him. She can have her best friend back.

+++

She doesn’t know how fast everything can fall apart. It’s perfect. Too perfect. She should have known that the other shoe would drop sooner or later. That’s how her life goes. She should have known she couldn’t have everything she wants. Things get ripped away eventually.

Rafe and Topper had mentioned that there were rumours they might have to go on a festival run. She hasn’t heard anything from their manager or their label. She likes the idea of a festival run, it could get them playing in front of people who don’t know who they are and expose them to new crowds.

She misses performing, she knows this would cut her time in Spain short. Much shorter than anticipated. She’s supposed to be there for almost seven months, with a bit of travelling back and forth until Julio finishes filming and they can stay in New York for a while.

She’s only been here for three months. It’s been so nice to be back with Julio full time, and get to do normal couple things after work. She doesn’t know how she’ll break the news to him. She chooses not to until she knows for sure.

The peace is short-lived.

“What is this?” Julio holds up the phone for her to take. She grabs his phone and looks at Boston Calling’s festival lineup. She reads trying to see what he’s talking about and finally finds what he’s asking about. Saturday, May 8th: Kildare Split B stage.

“I promise I didn’t know anything about this.” She tries to reassure him.

“That’s in two weeks.” He says to her, she feels the emotion in his voice.

“I know. I’ll talk to them.” She gives him his phone back and wraps her arms around him.

“I’m sorry.” They stay wrapped up in each other, silence overtaking them.

+++

“Ash, no one told me. I just thought I had more time.”

“There’s nothing we can do, we have the contract, you’re expected here.” She slides her hand over her face and sighs.

“Okay. That’s fine, but I’m leaving right after, no press.”

“Y/N, that’s not the only festival. You’ll be doing stops all spring and summer.” Her stomach drops.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“I’m sorry. The label will make no exceptions. You have to be here for every show.”

+++

She cries in Julio’s arms about having to leave so soon. He tells her it’s okay and that it’s nothing that they aren’t used to. She hates being used to being so far from him. She already misses him.

They try to get back to normal for the remainder of the time but something shifts. She can’t quite place it. She doesn’t know if it’s her or if it’s him. It feels off. For the first time since they met, it feels like they’re orbiting around different stars.

They’re returning to their apartment from lunch with one of his co-stars when her world starts to crack. She knows what he’s thinking before he even says it out loud. His eyes are sad and she can read him. She’s never hated him a day since they met. Not until now. She tries to distract herself, tries changing the subject, she tells him she’s going to shower and get ready for bed.

In the shower, she tries to scrub away the doubt and rubs at her skin to try and rid herself of the feeling. Impending doom. The world ending. A black hole fiding her universe and destroying it before she can do anything to stop it.

When she gets out of the shower he’s sitting on the edge of their bed facing her, she’s still trying to avoid it, she kisses his cheek and turns away. He stops her from walking away by grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. She doesn’t face him. She can’t.

“This is so hard.” His voice comes out hoarse.

“Then don’t do it.”

“I love you so much it hurts.” It’s not supposed to hurt. He taught her that.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

“You said we could get through it. You said that it was nothing we hadn’t done.”

“I know what I said. I thought I could.”

“And now you can’t.” He looks at her, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I wish things could be different.”

“No. No. No. Stop, no, you don’t get to break up with me.” She’s screaming, the tears already spilling from her eyes. She’s never felt so crazy. And her world falls apart. She doesn’t remember a time before her life was him and her.

“Y/N. You know I love you, I would do anything for you, and this is the right thing to do.”

“No. You don’t get to choose what is right for me. I do. And I choose you. I always choose you.”

“It’s not feasible. Being away from you. It hurts too much. It hurts you and it hurts me. I can’t do

it. My heart breaks every time you leave.”

“I’ll do anything.” Tears fall from his eyes as he gulps.

“Moving here is not realistic for you, you were supposed to be here for way longer and look, you leave in three days. I don’t blame you. It’s everything you’ve worked for and I won’t be the person that holds you back.” She’s sobbing now, she can’t see him over her tears, she’s shaking and desperate to get him to listen. To keep him.

“I’ll quit the band.” It comes tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop it. she grabs his face and makes him look at her. “I’ll quit.” He looks at her eyes wide.

“No.”

“Julio, please.”

“You don’t mean that, you’ll resent me and you won’t be happy and it’ll ruin us.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She’d never heard these sounds come out of her body before, so guttural and painful from somewhere deep inside her.

“You will. You would never ask me to quit acting, would you?”

“No,” she whines, the tears flowing.

“Then how could I ask you to quit your dreams?” He’s right. She knows he is and it fucking hurts. She wants to rip her heart out. She’s never felt pain like this and she wishes she could have never met him.

That’s not true, the thought of never having him in her life hurts. No matter how painful this moment is, the realization that their relationship is over is, she would never take back the years she spent with him. He showed her what it meant to be loved. How it felt to be seen and wanted. He taught her selflessness in love. She would never take it back. She needs to numb the pain.

She falls into his arms, her face on his chest as she cries and cries. He holds her like he never wants to let go and cries with her. God how she wishes she could live another life. How she wishes they could be other people. In another life, she thinks. In another life.

He’s what she wants, but she’s not what he needs. Because she’s hurting him. She’s been hurting him and he can’t put up with it anymore. She’s not worth it.

She books her flight for that night. Not wanting to prolong their inevitable goodbye. She watches as he closes the door to his apartment. The last time she’ll be here. They hold hands on the way down to his car and then as he drives her to the airport where he kisses her for the last time. Kisses her goodbye. And she gets on the plane and cries all the way home. The flight attendant keeps bringing her water and the people around her are whispering. She closes the curtains around her pod. Her eyes focus on the sides of the window as the frost builds like little spider webs reaching out to her.

She loves him. She loves him. She can’t believe this.

+++

She gets to her house. Penny next to her. She sets her stuff down next to the door and collapses into a pile of skin, bone, and numbness. Her heart missing. Her heart was somewhere back in Spain with the boy he dragged her out of her isolation and brought her back to life. How could she ever be okay again?

She doesn’t leave her house or her bed until the day she has to be on a flight to Boston. She has about 100 missed calls and a billion unopened text messages. She doesn’t care to talk to anyone. Doesn’t want to explain the breakup.

+++

She can feel herself isolating. To the way, things were before him. She’s in a room full of people and she feels the most alone she’s ever been. She waves everyone off, not giving them a second glance. She marches on stage, she plays the show with a missing heart. Pretending she’s okay. The band sees right through her, the fans don’t know better.

Everyone is worried about her. Ash forces her to come out with the band and crew. She’s probably scared she’ll overdose if she’s on her own. All the telltale signs of how she used to be. They’re keeping an eye on her.

She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she’s floating through life right now. She walks out onto the balcony, needing fresh air.

Everyone’s dancing as she sits on the balcony and stares at the night sky. The wind makes goose bumps rise on her skin. She feels another tear try and escape her eye. She blinks it away before it can. She’s so tired of crying all the time.

“Hey, you.” Topper steps out into the crisp air.

“Hey,” she whispers, trying to cover that she’s been crying.

“You okay?”

“No.”

“It’ll be okay. Sometimes love just doesn’t last. It happens and it’ll pass.”

“We didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other. If the distance didn’t exist I would still be with him. I would choose him over and over again but I was hurting him and in turn, I was hurting myself and neither of us expected or would accept the other quitting their dream jobs to move. So we’re done and it fucking hurts, Top. I saw forever with him. I haven’t felt that way about anyone ever. Part of me thinks that one day, when we’re both settled and not chasing the next best thing, we’ll be together.” She’s choking up, tears spilling over.

“Come here,” he opens his arms to her and she falls into them, “I’m here for you.” she looks over his shoulder to where Rafe is with their friends.

“For now I just want to drink and cry and sleep for three weeks. I want the pain to stop. I don’t want to feel.” She pulls back from Topper, grabbing his arm and dragging him back inside.

She would forget. At least for tonight.

+++

Her head pounds in the morning. She would blame all the crying she’s been doing but it’s mostly the alcohol. Cleo would kill her if she knew how much she was drinking again. She opens her eyes and looks around the half-lit room, the morning sun peeking through the curtains. The curtains are on the wrong side of the room. She looks around some more and notices clothes thrown on the floor. Men’s clothes. This isn’t her room.

She remembers bits of the night before, kissing and touching in the elevator ride, the fight to find his room key, looking into his blue eyes and forgetting the name of the man with the brown eyes. At least for a moment. She blinks as if that would stop the headache.

“Shit.” She hears from beside her. She slowly turns her head until her eyes meet the blue eyes staring back at her.

“Top.”

“Fuck.”

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #rafe obx #outerbanks au #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe outer banks #rafe imagine #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron smau #kildaresplit au

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thesmpisonfire · 7 months

Text

Im chewing my dask fr fr. This is fucking insane. I never post about Brazil on tumblr besides when the world cup is around but qsmp changed it to make me feel comfy and so many ppl here love the ccs and the culture we brought and now the gringo ccs are HERE. Never in my wildest dreams. Fit might be drinking a caipirinha as we speak. Roier and Quackity might be in awe at Cellbits INSANE stream set up as im writing this message. Baghera, Phil (and Kristin!), Jaiden are all arriving as well and!!!!! A!!!

I never talk about it but its always INSANE for me to talk about the Brazilian ccs here, even if its 5 months since they arrived. Sometimes it dawns on me that I'm talking about Pac Tazercraft, my childhood fave guy, to a bunch of people from other nationalities and theyre LOVING the lil guy as much as me. It's insane for me still that Ordem is international now. Cellbit is fucking??? Wide worldly known now???? What the FUCK??? Forever and Philza Minecraft are besties??? WHAT THE FUCK???

Its all. Insane to me. Still after all these months

Holy fucking shit. Puta que pariu de quatro caralho mano como q pode essa porra eu to tode arrepiade parece q passou 5 espirito por mim. Meu país é foda mesmo viu <3

#qsmp

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illdowhatiwantthanks · 6 days

Text

Emily Prentiss x Reader Headcanons

Mostly SFW, but a few lil spicy ones throughout (below the line).

Chews on pens/pencils when she's anxious or deep in thought and it's inexplicably hot.

Has a glass of very nice, very expensive red wine every night.

Fluent in Arabic, French, Spanish, and Italian. Passable in Russian.

Seems quiet and mysterious at first but is actually just a huge dork.

Breaks down crying every time before starting her period and will say, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm so emotional today," and you're like... "Babe, don't you start tomorrow?"

Usually a no-strings-attached-sex kind of person, mostly because relationships are hard with her job. You're the exception.

Will fold like a wet napkin for nice chocolate.

Notorious for ghosting lol. Sometimes even used a fake name. A bad habit from her undercover days.

Not subtle at all when coming on to you. Pretty much asked you for a date out of the blue.

Loves that you can talk about the deep, dark stuff, but can also make her laugh like no one else.

If for any reason you wake up in the night–stomachache, nightmare, scary storm–she is up with you. She'll claim she can't sleep either, but really she just wants to hold you and make sure you get back to sleep okay.

Watches you breathe at night. She finds it deeply comforting.

Takes you once a year to her grandfather’s cottage in the French Alps, where she spent a lot of time growing up.

Grew up Catholic. She’s not religious anymore, but sometimes she still likes to listen to old hymns and chants, like they had at the mass she and her mom attended in Italy.

Opens every door for you always. In fact, she’ll be hurt if you don’t let her open the door.

An incredibly good listener. She loves hearing about your day, no matter how mundane it was, because her days are usually filled with the darkest, most horrific things.

Has two tattoos. (1) On her ankle. A word from the Qur’an (لِّتَسۡكُنُوۡۤ) that roughly translates to “that you may find tranquility.” She got it in Italy when she started to realize she liked girls, because girls were the only people in whom she ever found tranquility. (2) On her hip. A small asterisk a la Kurt Vonnegut.

Insanely protective. She will not let anyone touch you, say anything to you, even look at you with nefarious intentions.

Has a little note on her phone where she writes down your favorite things–takeout, flowers, ice cream flavors, the brand of tampons you use–so she'll always remember.

“Call me when you get there.” Has to know where you are at all times. You gave up arguing and just constantly have your phone location shared with her. It’d be suffocating except that, given her job, it makes sense.

Loves that you are so independent. She’s watched too many BAU relationships fall apart because their partner was frustrated with the demanding BAU work schedule. You don’t really mind. Of course, you miss her, but you also really like your alone time, so things balance out nicely.

Puzzle fiend. There’s almost always a puzzle going on the coffee table.

Queen of leaving people on read. It’s nothing personal, it’s just that texts usually fall by the wayside when she’s in the field.

Secretly loves it so much when you brag about her. She’ll act all embarrassed about it, but it means a lot that you’re proud of her.

A hipster in the sense that if something is popular, she automatically decides she doesn’t like it. You make fun of her a lot for this.

Falls in love with you every time she notices one of your little gestures–having a second go-bag packed and ready at all times, doing the laundry, packing little granola bars in her purse because you know she forgets to stop for lunch, returning books to the library for her, etc.

Incredibly stubborn. Thankfully, you are, too, so you’re well-matched. On the downside, sometimes it takes forever to make a decision because neither of you are willing to back down.

Swears like a sailor when she’s not at work.

Kind of quiet with other people, but will talk with you late into the night, until you fall asleep. You love that you get to fall asleep to her voice.

Touches you like you’re made of gold, like you were made to be cherished and held on to.

Cheek/nose/forehead kisses. all. the. time.

Kisses you good morning and good night, every time, no matter when she gets home or when she leaves.

You would never guess it, but she lives for gossip. She doesn’t want to be part of the drama, but she sure as hell wants to know about it.

Drives her wild (in bed and out) that you are 100% hers. It is not in your nature to cheat, you are wholly devoted to your person, and she is over the moon that she’s that person.

Acts like a top, is a top.

Can drink coffee at midnight and be conked out twenty minutes later.

After a particularly hard case, she’ll come home and want to just hold you really tight against her chest, sometimes for an hour or more. You always let her.

Big spoon, always. She likes to feel like she’s keeping you safe.

Favorite food is the sweet potato burrito from Muchas Gracias, but they only have them at lunch and she is never in DC at lunchtime, so sometimes you go buy her one and pack it for her for lunch the next day. It makes her day every time.

Honestly it’s a struggle when you have to get up before her because she has you in a ninja death grip that is almost impossible to get out of.

Her feet are always cold, so she has a huge collection of fuzzy socks.

Movie buff. Has a giant checklist of all the Oscar noms during awards season, and you watch one almost every night she’s home.

Loves to shower with you. You will get clean, but you’ll get fucked first.

A wizard with a wand (iykwim).

She still gets butterflies when you hold hands.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #emily prentiss fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #emily prentiss hcs #emily prentiss headcanons #criminal minds headcanons #criminal minds hcs

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idyllcy · 1 year

Text

vanilla soft serve

Word count: 14.7k

Warnings: smut

Summary: you smile foolishly, the smile of a loser in love

Nagito Komaeda doesn't like himself.

He feels he's established it a lot with his class already. There was little to question when the island only had 16 students and two of them were already dead. Though, he supposes that it isn't that much. He wonders who's going to feed him. He scared Mahiru out, after all. Maybe Mahiru would die from the second motive! That would surely bring his class hope, would it not? He shifts uncomfortably on the wood, trying to get on his back. How pathetic of him.

Little light spills through the room. He had forgotten to ask Mahiru to turn the lights on before she left. He gives up halfway, staring up at the ceiling instead. Would you visit him? His precious little lover? Maybe you would. Who knows. You seemed pretty fine when he had gone insane during the first trial. Maybe you'd leave him for another ultimate. Maybe Hajime? Who knows. Trash like him doesn't deserve to hang on to you anyways. You're such a symbol of hope, yet you were dirtying yourself with him.

The door to the room opens, and the light turns on. He hears you cough twice.

"Did you come to visit trash like me?"

You ignore his words.

Ah. You're mad.

Komaeda holds his breath as you step in front of him, staring down at him. You crouch to his level, buttering the toast, crossing your legs, holding the bread to his lips.

"Angel, are you ma-"

You shove the food in his mouth, forcing him to chew. You stare blankly at him as he does, and he swallows. You press the cup of water to his lips, being kind enough to give him a straw. Komaeda drinks without speaking, understanding that you wanted some sort of quiet. He finishes the rest of the food with your help, staring at you blankly once the tray is finished.

"I'm sorry." The word feels dry on his lips, and he keeps his head hung.

You stare at him for what seems like forever before you stand up with the tray. "I'll be back for lunch."

Komaeda watches the door to the room close, but the light remains.

How kind of you.

You come back during lunch as promised; this time, the atmosphere much gentler.

"Open up," You blow on the rice and meat, holding it to Komaeda's lips. He chews, sitting up this time, his stomach in less pain. He was bony all over, now that he thought about it. You stare at the way his skin sticks to his ribs, and you get another spoonful of rice.

The two of you sit there, Komaeda eating silently, and you lost in thought. You finish the bowl, no rice left behind, and you help the straw to Komaeda's lips. He finishes the juice and pauses.

"Do... you have the key?"

"Give it a moment." You wait for the body announcement to be made, and Komaeda watches as you have Monomi untie him. You follow behind him as he rushes to the bathroom first.

You're still not talking to him.

You wait outside the door as he finishes, and he takes your hand as you reach out to him. You step to the game, and you play. Komaeda instructs you from behind, and the two of you finish. You stare at the prize. Between the killing and executions, Komaeda wonders if you even like him all that much. You hand him the image, and you stare at him. Ah, you want him to talk.

"Well," Komaeda smiles. "I know who the killer is."

"I know you do." You stare at the picture in your hands.

Komaeda thinks you've been strange. Ever since meeting him in middle school, the only thing you had obsessed over was what year it was and what would happen. You had gone to the point of obsessing it to the point of madness, Komaeda thinks. The only thing you had ever talked about when you woke up on the island was who was going to reveal what and what was going to happen to who. You had accurately predicted the death of Twogami, revealing Teruteru as the killer, yet Komaeda had gone mad anyways. You had told him to stay sane during the trip. It wouldn't be the first time someone's been frustrated with him.

Komaeda feels something familiar for you.

You stare at the photo with such a strong sense of nostalgia that it seems hard to believe that it could be anything else. Nagito Komaeda knew something that you did as well. Maybe that was why you picked him. He had the fastest brain that even Hinata couldn't use. Maybe he was meant to be a pretty tool to display in your arsenal that you would never touch. You never let him touch you first, and you never let him do anything without consulting you first. It was as if you had to control what he did.

Yet, he doesn't find it in himself to question you.

He had spent a year in Hope's Peak with you. What did you mean he was eighteen? It was already messed up from the start to you, maybe. Komaeda had watched you panic and only calm down when the future seemed to play out how you predicted it would. You were terribly anxious, chewing on your lips and biting your nails. Komaeda wonders if you had just dated him in order to have a caretaker. Komaeda supposes he spoils you rotten. Well, nothing wrong with spoiling an ultimate.

"What's wrong?" He stares at you as you stare at the sun.

"I miss my home."

Right. There was that too. You had always mumbled quietly when you were fazed out, silently praying for something to kill you. Komaeda didn't understand why you wanted to die so desperately. You were an ultimate, and you had everything you had seemed to want, yet you always talked about home. You missed... your home. It was strange to think that the only constant in his life was desperate to leave him. Maybe he was just destined to be alone.

You had stuck next to him even as Hinata was passed out, and you had rocked on your feet anxiously as he had met the other students, memorizing voice lines and counting fingers. You seemed to hate when you were unfamiliar with things. Komaeda held a hand over yours when you ran out of fingers, helping you keep count of whatever it was you were counting. When you counted to sixteen, you had stopped. You had looked at Komaeda, lips pulled into a frown. "Complete."

Komaeda's handbook had struck a chord when you finished meeting everyone and told him it was complete. His memory of you wasn't like that the more he thinks about it. You had always tried staying positive in the past, even when you seemingly appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the street, head spinning. You didn't know what he was saying. You didn't understand him. You were just a foreigner lost in the streets of Tokyo, and Komaeda had been kind enough to take you in. There was nothing more to it, and there was nothing less.

It's strange to think that you were now fluent in Japanese after only a handful of lessons from Komaeda.

When Komaeda won the lottery into Hope's Peak, you had written a letter to the Steering Committee, claiming you were an isekai victim. Komaeda had vouched, and after some digging into records, yours didn't come up, leading to your admittance. He doesn't know what you had to do in order to join the school, but when you headed home quietly and slumped into the pillows, he knew better than to ask.

The ultimate unknown.

You hated the title, but you had accepted it. In exchange, you were to reveal nothing to the class and stay silent at all times. Komaeda had watched you stop talking to the class, going mute, only communicating with your body language. Even when you had asked Komaeda out, it had been through drawing on his palm away from the sight of the rest of the school. He didn't understand why you had listened to them so thoroughly or why you had grimaced whenever you saw the underclassmen. Though, Komaeda doesn't remember who the underclassmen were either.

His second year at Hope's Peak was on an island. There was no way he would know.

On the island, you still kept silent. The class knew you were quiet, so no one questioned it, but Komaeda had hoped you would at least speak to him. You didn't like to. You spoke even less when he pissed you off. You had known that he would kill Twogami and tried to interfere, and the only thing that resulted in was the murder being pinned on you. Komaeda had half-expected that you would thank him when he explained he planned it, but instead, you had stared quietly at him. It was as if you hadn't cared that he was pining the blame on you and taking it back.

When you had searched the body, you had stared at Komaeda. You hadn't spoke, but you had mouthed the words. He knew what you meant. He definitely knew what you meant. You were just waiting for him to make the decision himself. Even as he was being dragged off and begging for you to understand, you had stared lifelessly at him. It was as if you were desensitized and didn't care at all. Komaeda doesn't know how a person like you exists.

You were weird.

You wander into Mahiru's room, staring at Komaeda, telling him to investigate without a word.

Komaeda thinks he was chosen to be your servant as you leave the cottage.

Yet, as you smack him in the back of his head and bow to Chiaki and Hinata in apology, he thinks you take more than enough responsibility.

Before the trial, you always scribble down what you can and can't remember to hand to Hinata. It's a cheat sheet that Komaeda isn't allowed to look at. He wonders if they're love letters sometimes, but as you're crying and holding back quiet tears in your cottage in the dead of night, he leaves you be. Even if it was a love letter, he wasn't going to let you keep everything to yourself. Hinata had pushed through each trial without error, and Komaeda suspects that you had been behind everything. You were the puppetmaster, maybe.

You even got to punt Monokuma when you were mad enough.

Though, Komaeda stares at you during trials, forming words with your hands and crossing your arms when a student got something wrong. You were charismatic. He didn't deserve you, the class didn't deserve you, the world didn't deserve you. You knew what was going to happen, clinging onto Fuyuhiko with your life as he tried running to Peko, face burrowed into his arm as the rest of the class helped you hold him back. You couldn't speak in front of them, Komaeda had realized. You pull on Komaeda's sleeve desperately. He supposes that's all you need to do.

"Do not atone for a crime you did not commit." Komaeda reads your eyes. "You must survive for her. You must survive for Peko..." Komaeda gets on a knee to wipe the tears from your eyes. "The crime was not instigated by you, so there is no need to-"

"What do you mean it wasn't instigated by me?! I was the one who told her to kill her!"

"A lie." Komaeda holds you to his chest as you cry quietly. "It's a lie. She killed her out of her own volition."

"She-"

You pass out in Komaeda's arms, and Fuyuhiko grabs him by the shirt as Chiaki reaches to catch you.

Ah.

"I was just conveying my angel's words." Komaeda holds his hands up innocently.

You wake up the next morning to Hiyoko's memorial for Mahiru. The class berates the girl as you blow out the candles and replace them one by one. You have Nekomaru help you remove the skull, replacing it with flowers instead. You finish by the time of the announcement that a new island had popped up. Komaeda stares at the memorial, and you pull him with you as you go explore the new island. He praises you quietly under his breath, and you answer quietly too. You stick close to Fuyuhiko with Komaeda, peering at the shorter every now and then to make sure he's alright. Komaeda is almost jealous of how much attention you give him. Yet, you keep Komaeda close anyways.

As expected, the next day, Fuyuhiko tries cutting his stomach open to repent. You react immediately as soon as he speaks, knocking him down and throwing the knife from his hands, cutting your own in the process. You stare at him wide-eyed, holding your hands up in the form of an X. He stares up at you, furious that you would interrupt him, but you stare down at him sternly, only getting up to take the knife before he could. Komaeda watches everything unfold, wondering if he had done something wrong for you to straddle another. He doesn't question it.

Especially not when you press your lips to his cheek later that night before bed as he bandages your hand.

When he wakes up, he brushes his fingers against your hair, mumbling about how pretty you were. You were pretty. He doesn't know what draws him to you, but you're pretty. Maybe he'll wake up every morning to you.

"ah... how filthy," Komaeda doesn't register that his words are coming out wrong. He continues to pour praises about how pretty you are, the fever making it so that he thinks he's praising you. That's when he realizes he's sick. He's feverish all over, and you hadn't spoken when he draped himself on you, eyes fluttering, almost drunk. When the two of you make it to the restaurant, you sit down in a seat, mumbling quietly. You pull him with you as Monokuma explains the new motive. Komaeda's sure he's mumbling nothing but disgusting words into your ear as you support him, but you seem unphased.

As Mikan tends to him in the hospital and you sit in his room, you start speaking.

"Komaeda-kun, I'm sure you won't remember any of this," You hum, turning to look to the side. "But I love you a lot, alright?"

"I hate you too."

Komaeda clings on to you as you sleep next to him, wrapping his hand around yours tightly, squeezing it every now and then. He stares down at your sleeping form. He could kill you here. He could end the motive right there. He has a weak body, and he isn't sure if he could survive if he continues to be sick. He loves you a lot; he mumbles. He's pathetically in love with how pretty you are. He wonders if the words reach you.

The days in the hospital are boring at first. You try playing cards with him, only to find that he's too sick to do so. That only feeds your boredom. At some point, you grow so bored that you start playing smash or pass with Komaeda. He has no idea what you mean, but you show him images and recall celebrities, asking Komaeda smash or pass. At some point, you start naming classmates and students.

"Hinata."

"Half pass."

"Me?"

"Pass."

"Really?" You spring out of your seat, eyes wide, staring down at him.

"You heard me. Pass." Komaeda grimaces at you, and you blink at him happily.

"I'd smash you too."

Komaeda really wants to tell you how lovestruck he is with you, but he supposes he doesn't need to as you climb into bed with him. You blink at him curiously, and he moves his hand to pinch your cheeks. He frowns, his mind telling him that he's smiling. He sneers when he thinks he's mumbling, and he coughs when he thinks his breath is caught in his throat. There are so many weird things going on with his body.

"When was the last time we fucked again?"

"We've fucked plenty."

"I guess that makes sense," You close your eyes, leaning your ear on his chest. "Your heart is beating quickly."

"It's 'cause you're disgusting."

"Whatever you say," You drift off, and Komaeda finds himself staring down at you. He wonders what his eyes look like. Does it look the way that his parents and the couples on the street did? Maybe he does. He wonders how much he could love a person. His heart feels as though it's going to burst at any moment. You were... he brushes your hair to the side, pressing his lips to your forehead. Maybe he wouldn't remember this once he recovered.

How pretty.

In the bright morning, Komaeda feels his lungs tighten and starts coughing. You get out of bed, blinking slowly. Ah. You caught it too. Yet, you call Mikan into the room anyways, watching as she starts tending to Komaeda full-time. You try your best to blink the disease off and come off as fine. You don't know how you're acting. Yet as Mikan holds the pillow in her hand, you remember something. You push her to the ground, eyes animalistic, chest heaving, a psychotic grin on your face. You stare down at her, straddling her, nails bloodied with her skin and blood.

Mikan scurries off in fear, and you sit on the ground, blood from Mikan's skin in your nails.

You bite your nails, lucking the blood, staring at Hinata as he enters the room.

By the time you're conscious again, there are two bodies.

Komaeda's the one to wake you. You sit up on the hospital bed, rubbing your eyes as Komaeda stares at you. The room is an eerie shade of white, and your head spins deliriously as you try and recall what had happened. Komaeda stands there, staring down at you, waiting for you to adjust to the feeling of being conscious again. You hold on to him as you steady yourself, and your mouth opens as you're conscious again.

"Two people died."

You nod slowly.

"Come on."

You follow Komaeda as he starts investigating, and you glance at the two dead bodies. Ibuki is hung on the rope, and you stare up at her body as Hinata lowers it to the floor. You stare quietly; lifelessly; almost as if you were the body itself. You don't feel real, still. Komaeda rubs his hand on your back gently, and you blink slowly. Then, you stare at Hiyoko's body as the ladder is put up to search the body and check for clues. You have a couple of hours, you think. You know who the killer is, and you were so sure that Komaeda might have died if you had not stayed in the same room as him. The rest of the class decides to search for more evidence elsewhere as you and Komaeda stay behind.

"It's a shame," You mumble under your breath as Komaeda searches Ibuki's body. "I liked Ibuki too."

Komaeda stares at you.

"Do you like me too?"

You only nod in response.

He doesn't remember. Komaeda thinks he's forgetting something as he progresses through the investigation. He did something with you. You did something with him. You call Hinata with movie tickets, waving your hand for him. You leave Komaeda in his place as you enter the movie theatre with Hinata. Komaeda only knows to wait outside the theatre, and halfway through the movie, you open the door to pull him in as well. Maybe you didn't forget him. Though, Hinata was sitting next to you. It makes him uncomfortable.

Hinata looks frazzled as you sit back next to him, and you tilt your head.

It was a bad movie, according to Hinata. You point at the ticket, and Komaeda opens his mouth to help you translate. Hinata cuts him off.

"Keep the ticket, right? Thank you," Hinata smiles.

Komaeda gets insecure easily, now that he thinks about it. He stares at you as you slip something to Hinata before the trial, and Komaeda fiddles with his fingers. Maybe you would leave him for Hinata one day. You step back next to him, taking his hand in yours, playing with his fingers. Komaeda's breath catches in his throat, and he swallows thickly. How painful. Were you going to play him even until you decide to leave him? How could you be so cruel?

Maybe he would tell you he's scared one day.

You argue from next to Hinata, explaining everything from start to the end of your memories.

Ah.

Komaeda watches as you blaze next to Hinata, and his heart sinks. You... looked much better with him. Was that your fate? To leave him? Maybe he would be a stepping stone for your hope. There was no way you would love him so much. Komaeda keeps the trial moving as you stare at him. It's like he's reading a script out of your eyes. And the culprit tumbles out of your eyes right onto Komaeda's lips as he turns to stare at Mikan.

"Mikan was the killer." Komaeda stares at Mikan, tilting his head. "Ultimate Despair."

You want to leave your podium and yank him, but he goes on a tangent, and you stare at Komaeda until he notices.

"Ah, angel," He swallows. "Sorry."

Hinata continues with the trial, and you go silent to stare at Komaeda. He... had ruined your streak, didn't he? Of course, he wasn't worth sticking around you, but he had thought just for a moment. Maybe. Maybe you would let him. Turns out he was wrong. He stays quiet for the rest of the trial, letting you do what you were supposed to before he had interrupted.

Mikan is deduced as the killer, and Mikan is executed. You stand on an orchestrated stage, and Komaeda tries going up to you after the trial. You let him stand next to you, but you don't let him talk to you. You aren't responding. Not even with your eyes. You avoid his gaze as he follows you. Even as you sit down in the cottage and pull him into bed, you don't talk to him. Komaeda catches your eyes once. You look hurt.

He's scared to touch you tonight.

Yet, as you snuggle to his back as he seems to be asleep, maybe you'll find it in your heart to forgive him.

Another island is unlocked the next day, and Komaeda's scared to face you.

You get out of bed without reaching to wake him, and you shower first thing. It's strange. He sits in the room as he stares at you leave the bathroom, tower wrapped around your chest.

"I'm sorry," the words tumble out of his lips. "let me... make it up to you?"

You stare at him, tilting your head. "how?"

He steps up to you, getting on his knees, glancing up at you.

"Can I?"

You stare down at him, swallowing. "Yeah."

You pull him to the bed, and he shakes slightly as you sit on the bed.

You're naked before him. In front of him. You're naked from head to toe. Komaeda takes your body in quietly. When was the last time you were bare before him? When was the last time you had let him touch you like this? God, what if he doesn't remember what you like? Maybe you'd push him off. Maybe you'd get even angrier at him. He doesn't realize he's shaking until you're speaking.

"Stop thinking so hard," You frown, reaching for his face, propping up on your elbows.

"Sorry."

Komaeda eats you out desperately. You don't recall a moment when he wasn't writhing to please you to the moon and back. You suppose he drinks up whatever reaction you give to him. His eyes are half-lidded, pressing a kiss to your clit before starting. Komaeda likes taking his time. He's spent hours between your legs drawing orgasms out of your body before finally tending to you, usually leaking and in pain. You wonder if he can feel how painful it is.

Komaeda likes sitting between your legs. He feels it's fitting for someone who should be nothing more than a mere tool to the ultimates like you. You were being kind enough, letting him dirty you with his body. He's a little messy, he thinks, but you like it when he makes a mess. You never berate him for making a mess. Maybe you were a blessing just for him. Who knows.

Your fingers tangle in the sheets as Komaeda sits between your legs, hands keeping your legs opened, tongue prodding and twisting inside of you. Your breathy moans fill the room, your breath quickening as Komaeda grows more desperate to get you to cum. It's strange. Nothing feels right. You usually cum from his tongue alone. Was he getting worse? He's so lost in his own thoughts he doesn't realize you've already cum and you're writhing in overstimulation.

"K-ko," You whine. "S-stop,"

Komaeda stops immediately, apologies spilling out of his lips in terror.

Your chest heaves as you catch your breath, and you close your eyes.

"We'll be doing that a lot more soon," Your breath catches in your throat as you sit up, and Komaeda grabs a towel to clean you off.

Komaeda doesn't understand your words until Monokuma is telling the class that they're stuck with no food until someone commits a crime. You rock on your feet, glancing at Komaeda. He thinks he understands now. Yet, as you leave him outside, heading into the final dead room, Komaeda's uneasy. You bet Monokuma that requires five bullets in a revolver of six. When the sound of a gun goes down and you stare at your hands, you know you won. Glancing at Monokuma, he hands you the file begrudgingly, complaining about how it was pure luck that you had won the file.

Your own name is found, and you stare blankly at the file.

Komaeda watches you return to bed that same night, still silent as ever. He coughs twice, and he stares at you.

"Hungry?" You stare at him.

Komaeda holds his breath.

"What's wrong?"

"You'll find out."

Komaeda has dinner as you do.

Komaeda drags you downstairs with him as the two of you head to Monokuma Tai Chi. A body announcement is made, and you stare across the room. Komaeda helps investigate, and he turns to stare at you. You lead him to the final dead room, laughing dryly as you look at the door again. Komaeda waits for you to get it out of your system before asking you anything. He's the ultimate luck. It'd only make sense for him to enter the room.

"May I..."

"Come back alive." You stare at Komaeda as he opens the door to the final dead room.

"Ah." Komaeda stares down at the book, heart quivering. He has to make a choice, doesn't he? He has to worry about.

This trial, Komaeda keeps silent. You don't tell him to speak, and you don't speak through him either. He feels as if he's stuck. A crossroad of destiny, perhaps. Star-crossed. It feels terrible. Komaeda doesn't know what this does to the two of you. Were you even considered lovers? How could Komaeda date someone that was the ultimate despair even though he was one too? Even as the two of you return home and you don't speak, Komaeda feels his own words caught in his throat, unsure how to ask.

"I'm in a coma," You stare at Komaeda.

"And you're... an ultimate despair."

You blink slowly.

"Yeah."

"What does..."

"We're on even ground," You exhale. "The world ended at our hands. It's that's simple."

Komaeda's voice catches in his throat, heart breaking. He shakes as you sit there, staring at him back in the room of your cabins. The stars spill secrets that neither of you speak up about, and you don't dare to meet his eyes. It was terrifying for you. You didn't know if he would leave you or do something. You get out of bed for the first time since arriving on the island, and your voice shakes as you speak.

"I'll... sleep in my cabin tonight." You mumble, rushing off.

Komaeda sits there without moving until the sun rises.

You're... an ultimate despair. You were an ultimate who caused despair. The entire class was. There was a single person on the entire island that didn't cause despair and it wasn't you. But. But. You had. You had just. You were. You were his entire symbol of hope. How could it be that you had known the entire time? You knew everything. From start to finish, you were orchestrating it all? Was that... what you were? Was he actually just a puppet in your play?

Komaeda checks on you the third day, wondering if you had spiraled as bad as he did. You're in your room, biting your nails, connecting red strings to others, desperate to get your thoughts in tow. There was one last trial. There was one last trial. One final person had to die. You couldn't let a single flaw escape from your fingers for this last trial. You chew on your lip, mumbling words to yourself over and over again. You're going to end up in tears. You don't remember the last time you felt this terrible.

Your hair is disheveled as you arrange the papers again, desperate to find the pattern. You have to know. You can't do it. You can't live knowing you'll never wake up and Komaeda one day will. You can't let him die. He can't die. How could you just let him die? You can leave the death to yourself. Worst comes to worst, you die with him. It's not that hard, right? You were just in a coma in real life. You don't know if you'd wake up with the rest of the class when they're all discharged.

Komaeda stares at you quietly.

"Angel?"

You turn your head to stare at him, deer in headlights, heart racing, dried tear stains on your cheeks. Komaeda has never seen you look so disheveled before. He lowers himself to his knees, brushing your hair back, pausing to see what you wanted. what you needed. You needed him, perhaps. You needed him just as badly as he needed you. He had to remember that. He was useless without you just as you were without him; even if the two of you were an ultimate despair.

"What's wrong?"

You burst into tears, coughing from the tears and pressure of it all. You hack furiously, hiccupping and sobbing into his arms. Drool slips past your lips and snot gets all over Komaeda's sleeve as he reaches to catch you before you collapsed onto the ground and bowed all the way to the ground. He couldn't let you do that for trash like him. But why... why were you crying like that? You looked more terrified than miserable.

"Don't die." You mumble, staring at the floor, still dissociated. "Please don't die. I'll kill myself if you don't do it. Please." Your fingers dig into his skin, and he pauses. You break his pause with more words. "Please don't kill yourself. I'm... I'm begging you. don't die. don't die. Please, don't die. Don't die, Ko. I'll kill everyone else on the island if it makes you feel better since I'm a dirty sinner anyways. I'll-"

"Angel," Komaeda cups your face, tilting your chin to stare at him. "Angel, it's okay. It's going to be okay. Come on-"

You cough, a mess of snot and tears in his arms. You lean in his arms pathetically, throat dry, eyes dead with exhaustion. Komaeda feels bad. Was he the reason you looked so terrible? He should make up for it somehow. Yet, as you cough furiously in his arms and only quiet down after he shushes you quietly, drawing circles on your skin. You look beyond repair. You look as though your entire life was crashing before your eyes, and you were without hope.

"Angel," Komaeda lowers his face to yours. "What's wrong?

You sniff pathetically.

"What's going to happen?"

You refuse to tell him. You stand up instead, staring at the scattered papers on the ground, kicking them all out of order, picking them up, and making Komaeda stand outside as you do so. You go back to sticking around him without telling him anything. You need the final motive, sure, but you wanted Komaeda to stay. Was it selfish? Komaeda reads the words off of you in waves. He sits in the dining room. Maybe reading you was harder for him.

He's not opposed to the idea of killing himself for the better hope. He obeys your word, after all.

"Why are you helping?" Komaeda watches as you tie the rope to him.

You decided dying with him was the best option.

"I'm going to miss her," You sit down next to him, legs tucked to your chest, leaning your cheek on your knees.

"Chiaki?"

"She doesn't have a body," You hum lowly. "You won't ever see her again."

"Ah." Komaeda's eyes widen as you stab yourself with the same knife. "What about you?"

You smile.

You avoid the topic.

"You know, Ko," You trace his face on your arm, "I love you a lot."

"Really?"

"Yeah," You smile. "I hope you remember that."

You die with Komaeda. The two of you sit in the room talking before the rest of the class breaks in, the poison killing the both of you instantly. You don't remember much after that. You wake up in the darkness, looking around. It's boring, you think. It would take at least a day or two for the game to wrap up. The pixels form before your eyes, and you stare at your hand as you end up in the void.

You find yourself wandering in the void, running at some point, walking in others. You're waiting for the system to be shut down so you can go back into the comatose state. Chiaki appears after searching for a little while. You run over to her, sitting down next to her. She smiles at you, handing you a notepad in case you needed it. You ditch it. She's a robot. It wouldn't kill to tell her.

"Are you well?"

"I hope we get to meet again," You blurt.

Chiaki blinks slowly. "You... speak."

You grin. "I do. My real talent has nothing to do with being the ultimate unknown. I am just a fortunate isekai victim."

So you talk with Chiaki. While Komaeda's mind forms a world where which isn't demented, you sit in the void, talking to Chiaki, playing imaginary cards and spilling your secrets. You don't know when you'll wake up. Chiaki reports what's going on outside every now and then, explaining who's awake and who's yet to wake up. Komaeda holds on to his fantasy that everything is normal. You know he does.

Chiaki speaks up one day.

"Your body is showing signs of waking up."

You pause. "Really?"

"Komaeda woke up two days ago. According to Hinata... he's also," She doesn't know how to tell you.

"Just say it."

"Komaeda got hit by a truck. He's conscious but severely injured."

"Is that why I'm waking up?"

"Yeah." Chiaki laughs lightheartedly. "I'll miss playing imaginary cards."

"I will too," You smile at her.

You wake up a day later, sitting up in your pod, blinking slowly at your hands.

Your legs have no strength, you find.

Naegi is kind enough to put you in the same hospital room as Komaeda, and you pull the curtain between the two beds down, grinning at Komaeda.

"Good morning." You smile.

Komaeda smiles back at you.

You do physical therapy with Mikan's help in the room, and your legs are restored as Komaeda is recovered.

"We should get married," You sit by his bed, leaning on your palm as he blinks at you slowly. Komaeda laughs airily, coughing when his lungs start hurting.

"I wonder what kind of suffering I would have to go through if we do."

"I'll bear half of it," You grin cheekily. "Til death do us part, after all."

"But we're not married," He hums.

"Not yet," You rest your head on his hand, humming to yourself. You stare at his ring finger, lips pulled into a smile.

"You plan on marrying trash like me?"

"You're not trash," You close your eyes. "You woke me up from an indefinite coma, did you not?"

Komaeda sighs. "But you were still injured."

"It's better than nothing," You doze off. "love..."

You stay quiet for the most part, making noises and showing improvement in vocal therapy. Komaeda sits with you some days in the wheelchair as you open your mouth to speak. Other days, he does physical therapy on the side while you learn to speak. The two of you return to your hospital room and talk about everything when you finish. There was no need for security when the island was only with so many people.

"What did you learn today?"

"Names," You start counting on your fingers. "Komaeda, Hinata, Fuyuhiko, the list goes on."

"That's it?"

"We start verbs tomorrow since I accidentally pronounced your name a little too well."

Komaeda chuckles, wrapping an arm around your waist lazily. "Is it fun?"

"No," You mumble back, voice just as sleepy as his. "I hate it."

There's little to do in a hospital, you think. You play cards with Komaeda when you're bored, and other days you play chopsticks. The majority of the time, the two of you sit there in silence during the day. When it's night, the two of you are too tired to do anything, so there's little to no conversation. Komaeda offers to pretend to teach you how to speak so the two of you can communicate. You refuse him.

You decide a miracle would be funnier.

You start speaking to Komaeda during the day to see who notices first. The two of you bet on different students. Komaeda bets on Hinata, and you bet on Mikan.

You win the bet as you're rambling about how shit the school is to Komaeda on a Thursday afternoon immediately after class and Mikan walks in to check up on you. Komaeda needs to be discharged, so you win the bet instead of him. You think it's a trade-off you're fine with. Komaeda being healed at the cost of anything for you was more than worth the price. You just wished he cared a little more about himself.

"I-If you can speak fluently," Mikan stares at the papers in her hands. "Th-then it's completely pointless to k-keep you here!"

You smile. "I've been able to talk. I just—" You pause to think of the word. "have been told to keep quiet."

Hinata runs check-ups with Mikan on you as you speak to them normally. You're fine to go; you're told. Komaeda takes you back to your shared cabin, grinning from ear to ear as you stretch your arms. It's surprising that you could speak so well. You don't know what to do. You don't know the amount of time that passes from one event to the next, and you chew on your bottom lip as you sit in your room.

Komaeda pulls your bottom lip from your teeth, handing you a cup of tea instead.

"What's wrong?"

You blink slowly. "We have one final event. Has Hinata looked for Mitarai?"

"He has. Why?"

You pause before closing your mouth. You grimace slowly, and Komaeda sits on the floor with you, tilting his head to stare at you properly. You look older. You've aged. Your anxiety is much worse than while in the simulation, and he does his best to fix you. You can't fix someone if you're broken as well.

Komaeda finishes therapy and accompanies you to your sessions, easing you into the sessions slowly. It's an improvement. You learn to calm down and loosen up. It's something about how you have to let go of control. It's scary. Komaeda's told to take care of you to whatever extent he can manage, and make you feel as though you have something to lean on that isn't predestinated knowledge. Komaeda doesn't know if he's really suited for the position, but he doesn't find it in himself to doubt you.

You recover slowly, and it seems as though your recovery process reverts as soon as the third killing game begins. You stare in horror at the livestream while everyone on the island starts gearing up. You don't know what to feel. That was the last you knew about the series. It was the last you knew about anything. It was. It was terrifying. You wouldn't know anything about the future, and you had been living off of the knowledge you had. How... how do you survive? What happens to the remnants? Do they return to the island? Do they go somewhere else? Wasn't the final killing game on the island?

When Komaeda returns on the boat, he brings a small gift with him. You collapse on him as he exits the boat, and Komaeda stays on the ground even as he helps you up. You wipe your tears with a frown, and you pause when you notice he hasn't stood up. You tilt your head, getting back on your knees to stare at him in curiosity. Komaeda laughs awkwardly, getting up. He... he can't just ask you to stay with him in front of everyone. It might make you feel obligated to say yes to him. He presses kisses to your forehead instead, laughing airily and joking about how you took his breath away. You smack him lightly in retaliation, embarrassment all over your face.

But days are mundane to Komaeda once they return to the island. You walk with him in the mornings, and you sit with him during mealtimes. The rest of the class gets along with you well, and the two of you do everything together. Komaeda fears you'll grow bored of him. His hesitation seeps into the things the two of you do normally, and you notice his change in behavior immediately. You never mention anything as he tries to pull away slowly, and you find yourself sitting in empty bedrooms, waiting for Komaeda to return. Some days, he doesn't. Other days, he returns when it's morning and the energy has been drained out of your soul.

You think you're doing something wrong. You don't understand why he's so desperate to leave you. Maybe you're doing something wrong. Maybe you're of no more use now that you don't know the future anymore. It eats you away slowly as you sit at the diner, chewing down breakfast slowly. Teruteru asks if it's because you don't like the food, and you assure him it's not. You wonder if you just have your emotions written all over your face. Though, no one else on the island mentions anything as you eat less and less. You wonder if Komaeda eats at all.

Well, communication is key, you suppose.

You rub your eyes slowly as the sun rises, and you mumble to yourself. Komaeda hasn't come back again.

You close your eyes and fall asleep on the couch. The bed is too big without him around.

Komaeda returns to the cottage to grab his things.

His heart drops to his stomach as he sees you sleeping on the couch. You... you don't like him. Why are you eating yourself away so that you'll continue to like him even if he treats you terribly? You have so many more people that could fall in love with you and date, yet you were killing yourself over someone as unimportant as him. He grabs the blanket from the bed, and he covers you with it, turning around to get his stuff.

"Nagito Komaeda." Your voice comes out surprisingly clear for someone who was asleep. You don't move, but Komaeda can tell you want him to stay.

"I'm sorry." He grabs what he was looking for, and you sob quietly as the door to the cottage closes with a click.

The depression chips at you slowly. You stay pooled in your cottage, relying on classmates sending food to you and only eating small portions. You wonder how bad you must have it when even Teruteru's cooking doesn't lift your spirits. Your talent no longer exists. Is that why Komaeda no longer wants you? You sit there in your room, rotting away, the blanket wrapped around your body, your existence slowly slipping away, dissociating, fading in and out, sometimes bleeding at the wrist and other times bleeding at the fingertips.

But the depression disappears one day as your brain goes into autopilot. You pack your things by yourself, and you stare at the photo of you and Komaeda on the coffee table, putting it face down as you open your laptop to reach Naegi. You want to leave the island. Your talent is the ultimate unknown, so it'd only make sense that you end up somewhere that no one knows about.

You leave the island in the dead of night, your presence completely erased along with it.

You sit in the helicopter, staring at the setting moon and rising sun, watching the stars twinkle out of life and clouds grow more visible. Maybe it was something you were supposed to do from the start. Maybe it was something that you were meant to do. You were supposed to be isekaied by now, right? That was the plan? You chew on your bottom lip as you land in the future foundation headquarters, and you go through the process with a new identity, making your way of life in the remnants of the city, the broken buildings now slowly coming back to life. You try to ignore the lack of consciousness as you do everything.

Komaeda thinks he hallucinated your entire existence when he steps into your shared cottage the day you left. You hadn't been at breakfast for the seventh time that week, and he drops the tray of food at the sight of a clean and neat cottage. It was impossible for someone who was as shattered as you to do. It's impossible. He looks around the cottage urgently, crying, begging, praying that there was a trace of you to remember just for a moment.

There's nothing.

So instead, Komaeda runs back to the restaurant, opening the doors panting. The class turns to stare at him, and his breath catches in his throat as he doesn't know how to explain that you had just disappeared without a trace off of the island. His breathing turns static as he coughs and cries, trying to explain through his pathetic sobs that you had just disappeared, and you were gone without a trace, and that you had just left as if you were never there, and that he wanted to apologize and try to talk it out with you but he had found an empty cottage without anything that could possibly remind him of your existence; it was a terrible thing to think of, and his head spins dizzily. He was going to tell you that his illness was gone and that he would be able to spend time with you again, but you had just disappeared— you were— you just— you just left him alone on an island of ultimates, people who he considered nothing more than classmates and friends when he cared, but you, his lover, the only person in the world to ever tell him that he was worth something and not insult him, was gone, and he couldn't live withou—

Komaeda passes out before he can say anything else, the stress of everything collapsing on him at once. The class rushes him to the hospital, and Mikan and Hinata check his vitals, trying their best to calm his heart somehow before he died of a heart attack. His body fights it, almost as if desperate to die and shatter and break. Komaeda's consciousness doesn't want to live or come back to life. Yet, the two succeed anyway, the boy jumping awake as he's defibrillated back to life.

Komaeda doesn't know why he woke up within a day. He would have rather just died now that you weren't on the island anymore. He starts crying immediately upon waking up, the tears making him choke, snot running down his nose and tears staining his cheeks with tracks and tracks of salt. He thinks he's going to die from how hard he's crying. His breath catches in his throat, the hiccuping killing his lungs. God. Is this how pathetic he was? Was he really nothing without you? Why did he push you away? He should've just let you destroy him next to you—

You suppose you don't suffer any less.

You sit in the coffee shop in the city, and you press the coffee to your lips, planning your next route to nowhere. You want to wander. Your backpack is packed and ready, and you're excited to leave something behind for once. Yet, the sense of dread that plagues your whole body at the thought of leaving your only pillar of support in the universe hurts you. You don't know how to let you. You don't know if you want to know if you even know how to let go.

You receive a letter from Naegi from the island. A letter that was several papers taped together. A letter that rolls on the ground as you open it in front of the man, and a letter that's longer than a senior thesis paper. You read the first two lines, and you recognize it as Hinata's writing. You refuse to touch it at first, waving Naegi off, but all it takes is a mention of Komaeda's name.

It's every single doctor's report for Komaeda's illness starting from the day you left the island.

"What's... wrong?" Naegi watches your resolve waver.

"Komaeda is bedridden and had a heart attack the morning I left the island," You read every single report, and you pause when you reach the end. He still hasn't been discharged.

"Do you have paper and an envelope?" You stare at the man.

Komaeda receives a letter passed on from Hinata detailing a single word, and Komaeda runs.

He takes a helicopter to the mainland, and his heart races in his chest the entire time. He has to find you. It doesn't matter if you'd slap him or break him or shatter him into pieces like he had done with you, he has to have you back in his hands. He knows where you want him to be, and he doesn't know what time it is or why his bones hurt, but he knows where you're waiting, and he'd hate to keep you waiting even longer than he's had you wait. He doesn't know why the two of you are stuck. He doesn't understand why everything hurts him in the way it does, but he does know that he misses you terribly.

He reaches where you want him, sitting down on the same bench when he had met you, and he pulls out the blades from his jacket, cutting two lines to make sure you wouldn't leave before he could apologize. The blood stains his jacket, but he could never be too safe. He grimaces.

You leave your bag with Naegi, stepping up the stairs into Monaca's old tower. You're surprised that there was still one left, and you sit at the top of the stairs, glancing down at the rest of Towa city. You wonder if Komaeda would know that you're referring to here instead of the bench. Maybe he'd realize it after a little while.

So, the sun sets, and you start back down the tower. The walls of it are torn, the brick showing through the wallpaper, and the mold and moss from the natural tragedies during the tragedy. You wonder if Komaeda would remember this place at all. You don't know how many years you spent in the tower with him, doing everything you could for Junko. It wasn't even despair, now that you think of it. You were just enamored with Komaeda. That desperate. Desperate to the point that you'd do anything for him. You wonder if your memories were erased. You don't know.

The place brings bad memories. Maybe it was time to leave.

The sound of running upstairs causes you to stop in your steps, and you stare down at Komaeda.

Komaeda stares up at you, stars in the background, the wind brushing your hair gently, and his legs give out. You rush to him immediately as he cries at the sight of you, and his lungs burn as he tries to catch his breath despite the tears. He clings onto your forearms, mindless babbles slipping past his lips as he cries and tries to explain himself. You catch little comprehensible words. Words like "help" "sorry" and "fault", and you wait until he calms down enough to speak to you, assuring him that you wouldn't leave.

Your heart twists and burns in your chest. You want to cry just as badly as he does.

Komaeda cries in your arms, hiccupping, clinging onto your arm pathetically. It looks familiar. It's like watching yourself break down before the fifth trial, except its Komaeda crying harsh tears over you leaving him. Maybe you came full circle. You don't know. All you know is that you should've never left the island and rotted in your place for a little longer. Maybe Komaeda wouldn't have had heart problems if you had never left. You don't know. You think you hurt him enough.

Komaeda calms eventually, wiping the snot and tears from his face, staring quietly at the tissue. He really was pathetic without you.

"I'm sorry." He manages. "I was going to—" He pauses, averting his gaze to the side. "I was going to... give you a ring when I got off the boat as a promise but I didn't want it to seem like I was proposing because then that would be like forcing you to marry me in front of the entire class—"

"You were going to what?" You stare at Komaeda in your arms, blinking, eyes wide.

"give you a ring?"

"You brought me a ring from the mainland?"

"Y-yeah?"

"How'd you even get one?" Your arms tighten around him, and you rest your chin on his head as you stare down at the stairs.

"Uh," Komaeda stumbles over himself. "I dug around my old mansion."

You laugh, pulling him close to your chest. "From your dead parents?"

"Mom's engagement ring," Komaeda smiles at the sound of your laughter.

"Do you think that's why we fought? The dead's vengeance?"

"Mother doesn't approve," Komaeda hums. "Mother knows best."

"Motherrrrr," You grin, "knows best." You pause, staring at the sunrise. "Would you say yes if I were to propose?"

"I can't live without you."

That's all you need to hear.

Some days you think too hard. Komaeda grows used to it, sitting down with you, the fireplace on, tea in your hands as he sits next to you. He doesn't know what to feel about living a casual, retired life. The two of you are back to a mundane life. The two of you swing back and forth, the sun counting your days. You wonder if Komaeda's going to propose or if he was just saying it to get you back with him.

Though, you suppose thoughts are fleeting.

You grow tired of waiting for Komaeda to propose. You stumble into Souda's cabin one afternoon, staring at him in the eye until he notices you. He yelps as he does, and you as him if he has a metal band. You wonder where you get the talent for being able to do everything as long as you have the audacity to. You bring a mirror into your old cabin, playing with polymer clay and making flowers, gluing them onto the mirror, sanding the ring and making sure you remember Komaeda's ring size as you fall asleep next to him each night.

Komaeda thinks you're up to something, but he stays put. Maybe you were going to surprise him.

The anxiety is much quieter these days, and he finds himself sitting in your shared cabin, waiting for you to come back. You go missing more often. Maybe you're running around the island exploring. You always liked wandering more than anything else. He wonders if you'd pass away on accident one day. Your ultimate talent was scary. Your real one. You could be taken away from him at any time.

"I have a surprise." You peek through the door, blinking at Komaeda rapidly.

"A good one or bad one?"

"Good one," You hum.

Komaeda follows you as you drag him to your cabin, and he pauses at the sight of roses.

"A... angel?"

"I made us a mirror." You fiddle with your fingers.

Komaeda pulls you with him as he steps into the place, and he stares at the heart-shaped mirror. The clay flowers around it cause him to pause, and he stares at the metal band that glistens, hiding in a piece of clay. Komaeda pauses at the sight of the other hole, and he pulls the ring from his pocket, slipping it into the slot, turning to grin at you.

"Ah, it seems-" He pauses at the sight of you on one knee.

"I had this whole speech prepared about how I had fallen in love with you the moment we met, but the second you put my ring in the slot my brain completely malfunctioned and I forgot half of it," You pull another ring from your pocket, and you hold it up for him. "I'm in love with you. Marry me?"

Komaeda blinks at the ring, and he stares at you, rummaging through his pocket.

Your heart rings in your head as he pulls out a ring of his own, holding it to your face.

"If you'll take mine."

You yank him onto the floor with you, wrapping your arms around his neck and laughing.

There are a lot of smiles and giggles with Komaeda while the two of you plan for a wedding. Komaeda lets you do what you want, offering his suggestion when you ask, finding that it's getting easier to read what you want and what you don't. In the meantime, while he does, you tell him how sweet he is to you, pressing kisses to his cheeks, letting him know you were sure about what you were doing. It was turbulent, you think. Komaeda seemed scared you would change your mind at first.

You remind him that you care about him quietly at night, tracing circles on his chest.

He watches you fall asleep at night, and he can't help the nasty thoughts that spiral in his mind as he bites back quiet moans as you're asleep next to him, bare skin kissed by the moon and water from the shower still fresh in your hair. He feels bad, whimpering and gasping as he plays with himself next to you, but surely you wouldn't mind, right? You never have; You've let him do whatever he wants. You've even mentioned letting him do whatever he wants to you while you're asleep, but he couldn't possibly soil your body with him.

You don't wake up. You've always slept deep, he finds. He could completely defile you head to toe and you wouldn't even notice as long as he cleaned you up. He parts your lips with his thumb, pressing a kiss to your lips before wiping himself down with a tissue, snuggling his head into your chest, falling asleep to the sound of your heartbeat.

Komaeda is less slick than he thinks he is.

You wake up earlier than him some days, staring at the stain on the sheets, stretching your arms, and reaching into his boxers. He tends to wake up with morning woods, his hormones still unbalanced despite his age. You don't know. You never studied the human body extensively. So, you do what you normally do, fingers freeing his cock from his boxers, spitting in your hand before running your hand through the slit to collect his precum and giving him a handjob. Some days, Komaeda wakes up with your mouth around his tongue, other days he wakes up to you reading a book while your hand is wrapped around his cock. Either way, he wakes up to himself moaning pathetically while you suck him off. He caught you kicking your legs once. He doesn't understand why you enjoy pleasing him, but he doesn't find it in himself to complain.

"I want snowdrops at the wedding," You pause. "On the dress, not the wedding. I'm not planting more flowers on the island when we already have a farm."

"It wouldn't hurt to get flowers planted."

"We're having a beachside wedding because you insisted it be one to match my fantasies," You glance at the flower catalog Naegi sent you. "Maybe I'll get a blue iris bouquet."

"Anything you want," Komaeda hums, staring at a suit catalog. "Can I just wear white?"

"Yeah." You pause. "I'm kicking you out when I pick the dress, by the way."

"And let Hinata take your nude measurements alone?"

"Sonia and Peko are going to be there," You grumble. "They've had it done before."

Komaeda pouts.

"You'll get to see it at the wedding. Isn't that enough?"

"Can I paint something for the wedding?"

"We have to plan gifts for each other, do we not?" You hum. "Like... I don't actually know what I'm going to get you."

"It's fine," Komaeda closes his eyes, the vibrations from his humming warming your skin. "I'll just spoil you rotten."

"What if I get used to it?"

"Then that would be the greatest blessing possible." Komaeda smiles.

Some days, you wonder how you ended up with Komaeda. You had been blinking slowly in and out of consciousness over a world that wasn't yours when you landed out of nowhere on top of Komaeda, and now you were planning a wedding with him. Other days, you wonder how you asked a complete stranger in English to live at his place temporarily, and now you were his home. You, a human, are his home. You gasp and twitch as he curls his fingers in you, cutting off your thought process.

"What were you thinking of?" Komaeda stares up at you from between your legs.

"A-ah," You whimper as he goes back to fingering you. "You-" You exhale. "I was thinking of you."

"Me?"

"Y-yeah," You hide your face in your hands as he presses a kiss to your clit. "H-how we met."

"You were an angel who fell out of heaven, I was convinced," The rest of Komaeda's words are muffled as he goes back to eating you out, eyes half-lidded as he focuses on you feverishly. You don't know where he gets the energy to stay between your legs when he can barely survive a round with you. The sounds of his tongue in you fill the room as you flush from how lewd it all sounds. You're embarrassed again.

"K-Ko," You whimper.

Komaeda raises a brow to stare at you, drawing hearts on your thigh as he goes back to eating you out when he notices it's just embarrassment. The coil in your stomach tightens as your hand threads through his hair, your thighs closing around his head as your orgasm approaches. You squirm before you do, and you let out a salacious moan as you cum on Komaeda's tongue for the nth time that night. You squirm from the overstimulation as the orgasm fades, and Komaeda wipes the cum from his face, licking off of his hand as he spreads your legs.

He pumps himself twice before pressing the tip of his cock to your clit.

"What's wrong?"

"S-sorry," Komaeda mumbles, kneading the skin on your hip. "T-thinking."

"About?"

"How far, ah," He whimpers as he fills you, resting his forehead on yours. "we've come." He blinks slowly as you push his hair back, leaning up to kiss him. "And how you're," He starts thrusting, slowly, almost as if he were cherishing you slowly, "underneath me, bare skin, and all." Komaeda thrusts steadily as you murmur for him to speed up, cheeks warm and skin flushed. Komaeda thinks you're pretty like this. He always thinks you're pretty, but you're just breathtaking under the moon, the white haze making you look holy. You were his angel. The angel that dropped into his life as he felt his life shatter in his hands that same day.

Komaeda's brows furrow as he feels himself get close, thrusting growing desperate, thumb on your clit, rubbing desperately. The coil in your stomach tightens, and your eyes widen, reaching for Komaeda's neck, squealing about how you're in love with him and how you're desperate to marry him and settle down, your overstimulation making your head spin, the words not registering as you cum on his cock. Komaeda's head rings from the praise you give him, a waterfall of pet names spilling. "Y-you're so pretty," You gasp. "Gorgeous. I think you were blessed by Aphrodite or something. Pretty. Pretty, pretty boy." You whine as he chases his own orgasm, your nails digging into his shoulders. "i love you so much. So much. K-ko, I'm so p-painfully in love with you-" You gasp as he cums, spilling into you with something between a whimper and moan.

He stays inside of you for a moment, waiting to catch his breath as you wipe the sweat from his forehead.

"Good boy," You smile, running your hand through his hair. "Such a pretty, good boy."

Komaeda laughs airily, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand. "I love you too."

You turn your head to stare, and you pause. "We left the window open."

"Pray that Souda doesn't scream at us tomorrow," Komaeda pulls out of you, his cum trickling out of you, causing Komaeda's voice to catch in his throat. "You're pretty."

"You tell me that a lot," You sit up, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"I mean it," Komaeda relaxes at your touch, tension leaving his shoulders. "I mean it."

"I know you do," You get off the bed, grimacing at the sweat on your skin. Komaeda lies on the bed as you walk into the bathroom, coming out with a rag to wipe him down. Komaeda lifts his arms weakly as you wipe him, exhaling when you finish, pulling you for a kiss.

"Can I sleep first?"

"Of course," You press a kiss to his forehead. "Always."

The moon spills past the windows as you stare at Komaeda's chest rise and fall, skin paler than normal. You rest your hand on his hip, tracing circles on his skin, lashes fluttering as sleep threatens to take you. It's quiet, you think. A nice quiet. the type of quiet that you could grow used to, and a type of quiet you had wished for before getting isekaied. You don't want to leave him. You hope he reincarnates with you when the two of you die.

Komaeda blinks slowly in the morning, body sore. Though, his arms aren't as sore as they used to be. He blinks slowly, turning around to face you. He stares up at you, lashes fluttering, lips parting as he presses a kiss to yours. You're pretty. When the sun illuminates the room and the waves recede, you're gorgeous. The golden streaks of the sun reflect on your hair, and each individual cell of your body. Komaeda doesn't know what he could consider prettier.

"Mm?" You furrow your brows, Komaeda sitting up to cover the sun from your eyes. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Komaeda smiles.

"You're so hot," You yawn. "I'm so happy I'm marrying you."

Komaeda's cheeks redden, his heart racing. "love you too..."

The clocks on the walls pass quicker as the two of you get ready for the ceremony itself. Komaeda doesn't know what to feel. He's going to get to call you his wife. His spouse. He's going to be married soon. If he told himself back at Hope's Peak, he doubts he would believe himself. He's marrying you.

You sit up and rub your eyes, exhaling slowly. You stare outside the window, tossing the covers over your head again.

"I'm going back to bed."

Komaeda blinks slowly, snuggling closer to you. He doesn't want to get up either. He closes his eyes, only pausing when he remembers something important.

"You have to pick the dress today." He mumbles into your ear.

"Nevermind!" You jump out of bed, stretching your arms. Komaeda smiles as you yawn. "Do you want to see me in anything?"

"Do whatever you want," Komaeda smiles.

"I'm going to wear your servant chain to the wedding if you tell me to do whatever I want," You deadpan.

Komaeda chokes, coughing uncomfortably.

"Or the bedroom," You rub your eyes. "I think it'd be cuter in the bedroom."

"You kept my clothes?"

You blink at him owlishly. "I kept everything you ever had."

Komaeda doesn't know what he's supposed to feel when you actually pull out the chain that was originally around his neck. Komaeda returns home, supporting himself on the wall, pulling his shoes off, pausing at the sight of you in his sweater and chain.

"I swear this isn't-"

"Stay in it." Komaeda tosses his jacket to the side, stepping up to you, pressing his lips on your temple, smothering you in kisses. "Can I fuck you in that?"

"Yeah," You scrunch your nose as he kisses further down your neck, biting, tracing circles on the teeth marks, staring quietly. "God, you're so pretty."

You flush from his words, and he pulls the bottom of his shirt up, revealing your boobs. He pries your lips open, having you bite on the hem as he thumbs the bud of your tits, pinching it to get a reaction out of you. Your skin jumps as his lips close around the other bud, swirling his tongue around it. Your leg wobbles, and Komaeda has you sit, the tips of his hair tickling your chin as he continues his ministrations. Your fingers dig into the sheets, soft pants slipping past your lips as Komaeda takes your quiet moans as a sign of encouragement.

He pulls away, a string of saliva following him, and he blinks slowly at how your legs have bucked. You stare at him as he pulls away from your chest, deer caught in headlights, heart ringing in your ears. You don't know when he got so perceptive. The hem of the shirt is still between your teeth, and Komaeda pulls the cloth from you.

"Pretty angel, doing such a great job," He kisses you as a reward, lowering his head, pressing a hand to your thigh as he scrunches the shirt up to reveal your pussy. He pushes your legs open wider, pulling you closer to him, getting onto his stomach, pressing a light kiss to your clit before mumbling quietly. "itadakimasu," He delves in, sticking his tongue in first, making sure to savor your taste. Your thighs quiver, and he holds them apart as he continues, stopping you from suffocating him. You throw your head back, muffling the sounds from your mouth with your palm.

"Angell," Komaeda slurs, replacing his tongue with a finger. "please let me hear you..."

You move your hand slowly as Komaeda sits, hand reaching for the chain, pulling on it, forcing you to lurch forward, the collar cutting your breath off. You gasp as he does, whimpering as you feel Komaeda curl his finger in you, looking for the place you liked it best. You gasp, propping yourself onto your elbows to try and breathe. Your breath hitches as he slides a second finger in, your arms shaking.

"K-Ko," You gasp as he pulls on the chain again.

"Yes, angel?"

"I wanna cum," The coil in your stomach tightens as you tighten around Komaeda's fingers. Komaeda obliges, letting the chain go from his hand, pressing his thumb to your clit, drawing rapid circles. You cum with a cry, drenching his fingers, your legs shaking. You whimper as he pulls his fingers out and licks them. Your eyelids flutter, chest heaving for air.

"Can," Komaeda swallows slowly. "can you ride me?"

You nod slowly, waiting for Komaeda to strip and lie down. He makes a show for you, unbuttoning his shirt painfully slow, pulling his belt off, body weight resting on one side of his body, hips jutted out. You swallow the saliva threatening to spill from your lips. You climb over him, letting the cum from your orgasm lube him, positioning him slowly. You watch as Komaeda wraps his hand around the chain again, pulling lightly as he bottoms out in you. You pant, whimpering, the remnants of your orgasm making your walls still sensitive.

"So pretty for me," Komaeda pulls on the chain lightly. His shirt scratches and causes your body to itch, the fabric painfully uncomfortable. You remember why you didn't like it anymore. Well, as you start bouncing on his cock slowly, one hand on the chain and the other tangled in the sheets. You stare down at him as he pulls the collar, forcing your chest to his face, and you whimper as his lips latch onto your nipple, sucking ever so gently. You force your body weight onto your elbows, your bouncing turning erratic.

Komaeda helps you, thrusts matching your rhythm. You whimper as his other hand rests on your hip, drawing lazy circles as you feel your orgasm approach again. You gasp softly, biting your bottom lip harshly as you feel your orgasm approach again. Komaeda forces your chest to his face, letting go of the chain and moving his other hand to your ass. You cum on him with a cry as he bites on your nipple, the hickey bright red on your chest tightening on him like a vice. Your chest heaves as he chases his own orgasm, your legs shaking from overstimulation. You whine as he spills into you. Komaeda babbles incoherently as you collapse on top of him, pulling the shirt from over your head. The collar and chain remain around your neck, and Komaeda pulls you down to press a kiss to your cheek.

"You're so, so beautiful," Komaeda mumbles on your lips, pressing lazy kisses to your skin.

"I love you too."

Komaeda's anxiety charts as the wedding gets closer and closer. He finds himself staring at sharp objects for far too long and foods that he knows would be bad for him even longer. There's a certain sense of anxiety as he stares a little too long at dangerous items nearby, and you find yourself tracing circles on his skin and reminding him that it was fine. You didn't mind his luck cycle. Even if it rained on the big day, you could just run down the aisle with an umbrella.

You sit in your cabin, smiling as Hiyoko arranges your hair with a huff, complaining about how you had such nice hair but never took care of it. You laugh as she weaves flowers into your hair, and Sonia has you hold still as she does your makeup. Mahiru moves between cabins, snapping photos of both you and Komaeda. Ibuki arranges the music as Peko invites the few future foundation members to their seats. You don't know how you got here, really. Your heart causes your breathing to get anxious, and you grimace slowly.

"Hey," Sonia pauses, having you stare at her. "It'll be fine. No anxious thoughts. It's your wedding day."

You exhale as she has you breathe, and your shoulders relax.

"It looks like it's going to rain," Mikan mumbles. "Did we bring an umbrella?"

"I did!" Akane closes the umbrella, stepping into the room. "Wah, how pretty!"

"Thank you, Akane," You smile.

Komaeda's words serve true, rain pouring down on the day of the wedding, and you laugh as the tail of your dress stains with rainwater. You'll think of it as a fond memory. You know you will. It'll be fun to explain to people who ask why your dress is stained brown and say that you got married in the rain to the love of your life. It's a sense of acceptance. You blink at Komaeda as you get ready to walk down the aisle, and you decide to run. You're excited. Komaeda's dressed head to toe in white, and he looks ethereal. You'd love him forever, you decide. You ditch the umbrella, only stopping as you bump under his. It was big enough to fit the two of you.

"Would you like to swap shoes? Running in heels in the rain is a little..." Komaeda raises a leg to slip his shoe off before you stop him.

"I want to run in the rain, in heels, with the love of my life," You laugh, resting your hand on his bicep, leaning your head onto his shoulder.

Impostor gives the opening speech, and you grin happily as you open the letter you had written, holding a newly brought, clear umbrella.

"To Nagito Komaeda," You clear your throat carefully. "I landed in your lap in the blink of an eye, crashing into you on the street from above. It was comedic, it was strange, and it was new. I had never gotten hit by a white truck before, and I was nowhere expecting to end up in this world of all places. You're a fan favorite in my world, and the fact that I'm being blessed with an opportunity to marry you like this is incredible. It feels strange. It felt like just yesterday when I was asking you in a foreign language whether or not I could stay with you until I found a home, and now today we're getting married. I know you like to say that it's a blessing to marry me, but I think the real blessing was falling in love with you."

You pause to breathe, glancing at Komaeda, wiping his tears already.

"I was horrified when I saw the letter detailing your frontaltemporal lobe dementia. I was determined to find some way to fix it, whether it be through someone as obscure as the ultimate neurologist whom I had only heard of once or twice. I was blissfully in love with you as I had always been. I do not remember a moment when I haven't loved you to the moon and back." You swallow, tears welling in your eyes. "Even when you were nothing more than a mere servant under Monaca, I was desperate to do anything for you. I had forgotten that the tragedy was something that you would have despised had you found out I was an ultimate despair, but I was so desperate to love you and to show you how far my love went that I went insane."

Komaeda thanks Hinata as he takes the handkerchief, crying silently into it.

"But I knew that we would love each other. I knew that you and I would love like no other, and that the sun would die and the moon would break, but there would never be a moment where I wouldn't stop loving you because I couldn't stop loving you. You were as vital to my existence as any basic commodity was. I could wither and die like the flowers you picked for me at Hope's Peak and I would still love you desperately." You pause, collecting yourself. "Because you were just that important to me. You were something that I desperately, insanely wanted. You meant the world to me, and I was willing to let everyone else burn just so I could see you live."

You cough, trying to hold back tears. "And when we had fought, I was so desperate to leave because the only thing I knew how to do was to run away. Yet, I don't know why I stayed in that tower all night until the sun was peeking from the east. I don't know why I had held onto you so desperately as you had cried in my arms, but I'm so terribly elated that I had stayed, because I wouldn't be here if I had just ran away like I always did. I wouldn't have been in our room, staring at the ceilings and counting the stars in your eyes, watching you breathe peacefully, because I would have never been able to experience anything if I didn't stay with you. I read once that love was a choice," You exhale. "So my choice, in the simplest terms," You wipe a tear from your eye. "Is to stay by your side, for better or worse, for life or for death, and until the universe would forcibly tear my heart and soul and mind away from you, I will stay with you until all that is left of me is nothing, for I know that I would love you for all of my days, even if it decides to kill me. Because even if I'm the ultimate isekai victim in my next, life, you'll always be my husband, lover, and my home in a world that despises me so much."

Komaeda wipes his tears, eyes puffy, brows furrowed, slightly embarrassed at how much of a mess he probably looked. He coughs, waiting for his tears to calm before staring at his letter. He sniffs a little, opening the letter carefully, almost as if he were scared to break the wax. He adjusts the umbrella in his hand, and he opens the letter carefully. There are words written on the front and back.

"To my angel," Komaeda reads, adjusting his umbrella. "When you had first told me to write you a letter, I thought you were saying just to write down whatever thoughts I had."

You thank Sonia as she hands you a handkerchief.

"When I first met you, I thought I was insane." Komaeda laughs to himself. "I was just thrown out of the trash, a couple million dollars on a lottery ticket. I had the ticket in my pocket, and I remembered how each year, each terrible year, I had prayed at the shrines during visits that somehow, somewhere, there would be someone who would make living worth all the suffering I had to go through. I was so desperate to be in love and to have someone who cared about me to the point of destruction like my parents were with each other. I was dying for someone to love me, and as if the universe had heard my prayer that built up over the years, you appeared. You fell from the sky, and for that short moment in my life, I was starstruck at the sight of you." Komaeda sniffs. "I was painfully in love with you. You, who had spoken barely any Japanese upon meeting me, and you who had tried drawing a white truck killing you, I was in love with you. You were so charming in my eyes. I didn't think of a day where I would have to live without you."

Komaeda wipes his tears again, coughing quietly. "I had fallen in love with you so naturally that by the time I was a remnant of despair like you had predicted, I thought that the only way to cause despair was through the death of you, but my consciousness couldn't allow it. I was frail, broken, shattered, so I thought the best sort of despair would have been to work you to the bone and have you fall out of love with me. I failed. I'm glad I failed." Komaeda sniffs, glancing at you in tears, crying into the handkerchief, hiccuping.

"And during that killing game, I died with you." Komaeda laughs airily. "I thought you would surely leave me and try to survive. I had given you a gas mask, yet you stabbed yourself to make sure that my plan would go along, and the two of us were gone. Dead. You were in a coma because I had forced you into one before leaving for the island, and I was in a coma because I had prayed and prayed for a world where everything was together and in one piece. I wanted a world where the two of us could live without the tragedy. A world where we were all classmates, and Chiaki was still alive. To me, it was a world where the two of us were in love and my luck wasn't killing anyone. I woke up and cried. I had to be in a world with you in it, so I thought it'd be chance that my luck would save you. I'm glad it did."

Komaeda turns the paper.

"I love you to the moon and back, and I love you until the sun burns out and the moon dies from heartbreak. My life is supposed to be a mosaic of everyone I've loved, but instead, it's just a painting of you. From start to finish, from the moment we met to the moment we'll die, everything will be influenced by you and you alone. I'll fly you to the moon and burn from the sun just so that you could live without worry. And when I wake up in the morning, I'll hide you from the sun's rays burning your eyes and kiss you until you grow tired of me. I'll do anything and everything so that you'll know how much I love you, because I finally, finally, found the person that I wake up each morning, smiling all silly at because of how much I love you." Komaeda exhales shakily. "So this is my vow to love you until the world shatters and my soul can't reincarnate with you anymore. Know that no matter how much the world will kill me, I'll never leave or break you. I love you, my angel, my world, my heart, and my home."

You wipe your tears quietly, and Souda hands the two of you the rings. Komaeda slips it onto your ring finger, pausing to stare at it. You hold his ring, pausing when you notice the tears pricking the corner of his eyes. You reach to wipe the tears, wiping his tears with your handkerchief as he sniffs quietly. He mumbles a quiet apology, lifting his hand so that you can put his ring on. He wipes his tears as you wait for his vision to clear a little so that he could look at you.

You slip the ring on, a stupid smile on your face, the smile of a lovesick fool.

Impostor starts again. The moment you think you've been waiting for your entire life. Your heart rings in your head, and you can almost hear Komaeda's heart beating in his chest.

"You may now kiss the—"

You feel bad for interrupting Impostor, but as you press your lips to Komaeda, throwing your arms around him in glee, the umbrella falling to the side as Komaeda's caught off guard, you decide it's fine. Though, Komaeda doesn't complain as the familiar feeling of your lips on his causes him to relax into your arms, hands wrapping around your waist instinctively. His lashes flutter as he tilts his neck to get more comfortable, and the rain soaks his hair. He might catch a cold from this, but he supposes he would only get married once. It didn't matter how his luck cycle would affect him.

The rain ceases over your head, and you pout when you pull away. "I wanted to run in the rain with you."

"It'll rain later," Komaeda hums. "We can run when it's later at night. Just the two of us"

You blink slowly, staring at Komaeda as you pause.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

#komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #danganronpa x reader #☾.nsfw #☾.fics

327 notes · View notes

lu-sn · 11 months

Note

Rank the VegasPete kisses 😈

suz i stg this ask is gonna get me super mega cancelled. when you find my mangled body in a decrepit alleyway tell my family i loved them

6. i love you, pete.

listen, no okay, LISTEN, put down your pitchforks, this is an s-tier kiss okay, i know!!!!! I KNOW BUT EVERY VEGASPETE KISS IS INSANE!!!! SOMETHING HAS TO BE AT THE BOTTOM

i did and still do think it's a lil cray cray of vegas to say he's in love with pete like ten days after dicking him down, but the blood-streaked mouths and vegas's devastated face as he pushes pete away afterwards sure do make up for it

5. you must suffer until i'm satisfied

the thing that gets me about this one is the total lack of artifice on vegas's part. despite every touch of his before this having been part of a long, cruel, twisted performance, this one is so gentle. so unassuming. a gift, more than anything else.

the conversation after is critical to their relationship, and i'm not sure pete would have wanted to open himself up like that without this kiss as proof of vegas's... sincerity? vegas isn't playing a game anymore — and pete can finally stop playing too.

4. psycho

head in hands!!! i can't believe this isn't in the top 3 someone send me to jail rn

i don't need to talk about this yall Know. third eye opened brain chemistry rewired brainrot permanently acquired "you like me like this" "i know exactly what i want" the way their hands paw at each other the way vegas smiles the way pete's KNEES GO WEAK I'M FOREVER SCREAMING

3. you're the most important person in my life

ugly sobbing in the gutter they trust each other they cherish each other they're going to work so hard to stay together they're coming together as EQUALS in the LIGHT AFTER THE STORM I'M—

it's the way they cradle each other's faces in their hands, okay. it's the unbearable tenderness, and it's the promises they're making to each other!!! that shit just gets me real bad 😭

2. (we only kiss people we like)

their entire sex scene is characterized by an unexpected, intense tenderness, and this last kiss is really the nail in the coffin for me. the way pete is leaning up into this, chasing vegas's mouth — the way vegas is so unbelievably soft as he presses himself into pete — the space they've carved out together in the darkness for this moment of startling intimacy — something has changed here, in both of them. and it's going to be their undoing.

1. i need you, pete.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME I WILL DIE ON MY LITTLE HILL THIS IS THE BEST KISS IN THE ENTIRE SHOW. SCREENSHOTS DO NOT DO IT JUSTICE. vegas is TREMBLING into this kiss he is TERRIFIED he's made an awful awful mistake and he's about to lose the best thing he's ever had he is CLINGING TO PETE trying to press all of his monstrous love into pete's skin i'm so sorry i didn't mean it i need you i will worship you look at how gentle i can be with you? look at how desperately i want to cherish you please please pete don't leave me MY GOD I AM CHEWING ON THE WALLS IT HURTS SO GOOD

and pete is so vulnerable to this kind of touch. he's shaking too, he's gasping and sobbing and almost can't believe what he's about to do in return. pete intends for this to be their last kiss — and vegas has no idea.

#i'm feeling so insane about them rn #that's just the vegaspete effect #obligatory THAT'S MY OPINION disclaimer obv all of these are top notch superior #oh but i am right about the last one tho. like objectively correct #hehe thank u for the ask suz 💜#kinnporsche #vegaspete #pete saengtham #vegas theerapanyakul #mine: asks #rainy day asks

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tlouslut · 1 year

Text

TATTOOS PART 2

WARNINGS: smut!!! MINORS DNI!!!

WORDS: like 5K loll

Part one

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"Stop twitching Ellie." You scolded half heartedly. The red headed woman mumbled an apology. This was your third tattoo session with Ellie, you'd been living in Jackson for a couple months now. Once you were well enough, Ellie begged you to give her a tattoo. She said she didn't care what it was or where, she just admired your sleeve enough she wanted a piece of your art inked into her skin.

"When did you learn how to tattoo?" Ellie asked. You found the time passed and eased her focus on the pain better when you both spoke. You had hung out with Ellie and all her friends at the Tipsy Bison a couple times but mostly kept to yourself. The people here were warm and inviting.

"I think I was 11 or 12. I had been traveling with this super old woman, she had tattoos everywhere she could reach. She taught me how, purely so I could tattoo where she couldn't reach. She told me that if I looked mean enough, that maybe other people would leave me alone." You told her softly smiling as you remembered the woman. You travelled with her for a very long time, but once you completed her back piece, she died.

"That's insane." Ellie breathed. You hummed in response, you were adding to Ellie's forearm tattoo with the fern and the moth. You added twisting vines, a snake wrapping up her forearm, some flowers and some smaller moths so the piece was tied together. You wiped your brow, pulling back to look at Ellie's face.

"Who did this one?" You asked, tapping on the moth. Ellie shifted her seat uncomfortably.

"My ex girlfriend, Cat did it for me." Ellie sighed. You raised your brows at the sliver of information Ellie laid bare before you.

"I did a tattoo for, I wouldn't say an ex-girlfriend, but like ex-romantic partner. She loved it so much she threatened to kill me if I didn't complete an entire leg sleeve for her." You chuckled. You and a girl named Melissa up in Washington had hooked up a couple times and stayed up late talking. Only when she could sneak away from her patrol with the military group she stayed with inside Seattle was when you'd see her. You stayed around for a month or so before she threatened to kill you and you killed her instead.

"Did you do it, the leg tattoo?" Ellie frowned. You tilted your head back and laughed a bit.

"No. I don't take kindly to threats like that." You hummed before continuing the tattoo. You were currently working on another leaf pattern.

"Why did you stay with that group for so long then." Ellie asked another question, you flicked your gaze up from the needle you were currently using to meet her intense gaze.

"They offered me a chance at survival in exchange for something I love doing. Yes I hated them, but they weren't a threat I could take out on my own. With the girl I knew I could kill her and get away, but my hands were tied with them." You explained focusing on the veins of the plant forever inked into Ellie's skin. "What's with all the questions today Ellie?" It was your turn to ask her a question.

"I guess, I'm curious about you." Ellie chewed on her lip nervously. "I've never met someone like you." You smiled to yourself, hoping the blush on your cheeks wasn't as bright as you thought it was.

"I've never really done a tattoo that I liked. When I tattooed for that group all they wanted were like skulls and shit. I've always wanted to do a sleeve like this, its almost the sister to mine." You rambled. You flicked your gaze up to Ellie to see she had her eyes closed and was biting her lip. You would be lying if you didn't like she was beautiful, but you had only been here a short while and didn't know if she had a girlfriend or anything like that. Ellie was trying so hard not to twitch, you could see her concentration. You pulled the needle away, watching her open her eyes in confusion.

"Why'd you stop?" Ellie pouted.

"I thought you were gonna pass out you were trying so hard not to twitch." You grinned at her. "I think we're done for today." Ellie opened her mouth to protest but you already stood from your short stool, stretching your limbs as your joints popped.

"Hey, there's a party tonight. In the barn, I'm sure you've heard of it. But I was wondering if you were going tonight?" Ellie asked nervously, chewing on her lip as you cleaned and wrapped her arm. You looked up into those lovely green eyes. During the time you'd spent alone with her, so close you could feel the heat radiating from her skin, you had gotten close with the woman.

"I think I will, I wasn't but then you asked." You winked at her cheekily. Your smile widened at her flushed cheeks.

"Wear something pretty." Ellie teased, trying to fluster you obviously. You took the step so you and Ellie were sharing the same breaths.

"It's not about what I'll be wearing, but what's underneath. Hm?" You hummed, your voice was barely a whisper. You smiled slyly to yourself at her increased breathing.

"I would have to see about that for myself." Ellie whispered in your ear huskily, sending shivers down your spine. You flicked your gaze down to her lips, breaking the eye contact Ellie seemed to do the same. You opened your mouth to reply when someone knocked on the door to your house. They had an available home with an extra bedroom you had used for a tattoo room, so far Ellie had been your only client. Neither your or Ellie moved to answer the door, the knocking became more persistent. You huffed a laugh tracing your fingers absentmindedly down Ellie's non tattooed arm, from her inner elbow to her wrist.

"I suppose I should answer that." You rolled your eyes stepping away from Ellie, much to your heart's protest. The damn thing was about to beat out of your chest. When you opened the door, you weren't surprised to find Dina there.

"Hey (YN)! Is Ellie here still? I know she mentioned having a tattoo session with you today, I just need her help with something." Dina rambled, wringing her fingers nervously. The dark haired woman was stunning, her skin warm from the setting summer sun and her espresso eyes glittered with anxiety. At the end of every session with Ellie it was like she had a timer set, she would knock on your door to retrieve Ellie to 'help her with something'.

"Come in Dina." You smiled softly, stepping out of the doorway so she could pad into your home. Mostly empty except for now; you had a bed, a dining set, some chairs in your living room, and a smaller chair and table set up in the extra room for tattooing. You found Ellie sitting at your dining room table which ended up being your base of operations. You had a few sketchbooks you had found and filled scattered across the table along with loose sketches for Ellie's sleeve. The red haired woman was flipping through them, her mouth slightly open.

"It's rude to look through things that aren't yours." You teased from the doorway. Ellie flushed pink and shut the sketchbook she was looking through. Her mouth opened and closed as she stumbled for something to stay. Then she saw Dina behind you who waved shyly.

"Hey Dina." Ellie greeted, standing from the table. "Sorry (YN), I couldn't help myself. They are amazing." She said to you sheepishly.

"Hey Ellie, I was just swinging by to grab you to see if you could help set up some stuff." Dina smiled hopefully up at Ellie. You knew Dina was a huge flirt and usually got what she wanted, it made your heart falter as Ellie dragged her gaze from yours to hers.

"Sure." She huffed, turning her gaze back to

you, those emerald eyes were conflicting. "I'll see you tonight, right?" Ellie asked.

"Yeah." You said quietly, watching as Ellie lead Dina out of your home. Once you were alone you sprinted for the shower, after all Ellie did ask you to look nice. And you're not one to disappoint.

Ellie's p.o.v.

"Your tattoo looks nice." Dina commented as we walked towards the barn where the party would be held tonight.

"Thanks, I love it so far." I smiled at the delicate art inked into my stinging skin. I'd sit through hours of the sting of the needle if it meant I'd get to listen to (YN)'s stories.

"Hello? Earth to Ellie?" Dina laughed waving her hand in front of my face. I felt my face turn pink at being caught day dreaming about (YN).

"Sorry, I was just thinking." I fumbled out. I knew why Dina showed up at the end of every tattoo session, it was specifically because of what happened at the end of this one. Dina and I had liked each other on and off for years, we just never got the timing right. She knew that. If Dina hadn't showed up when she did, (YN) and I wouldn't be going to the party at all. The way she shivered when I whispered in her ear made my mind run wild.

"Got a date for the party tonight?" Dina asked, not so subtly. I bit back a frown, I should've asked (YN) to be my date.

"Not a date per say, but it's (YN)'s first party with us. I told her her I'd go with her." I explained simply. Trying to gloss over the tension that built in those few minutes, my mind wandering the the way her fingers trailed my arm.

"Oh." Dina seemed to deflate. She could tell, I mean even Joel could tell I liked her and maybe she liked me back from the way Dina sighed.

"She would totally be down to give you a tattoo, you know. Her art is amazing, I think something even you would enjoy." I smiled at her, Dina peaked at my arm. She examined the nature wrapping around my arm and made a face.

"I don't think I'm cut out for that if I'm honest." Dina sighed again. I bumped my shoulder into her playfully trying to get her to lighten up.

"Come on." I smiled as we approached the barn holding the door open for her.

The party was finally set up. Lights strung up everywhere, food and drinks displayed, and music playing through the speakers of a boom box Eugene had fixed up before he passed. People started to filter in through the doors, then I saw her. It felt like the world slowed down, I did tell her to wear something nice but fuck. She was wearing a dress. Where she found one I'll never know, but it came down to her knee, a slit going up the side to reveal her leg. Tiny daisies embroidered on the light fabric, a square neckline that dipped dangerously low with the spaghetti straps that held it up. She looked like Summer personified, from her dress to her brilliant smile. I made my way to (YN), gently taking her arm and leading her to the bar.

"I know I said wear something nice, you really knocked it out of the park." I breathed, ordering us a couple drinks. (YN)'s tinkling laughter filled the air around us.

"I thought I'd impress you. But remember what I said." She leaned in to whisper, her lips tracing the shell of my ear. "It's what's underneath that counts." My breathing hitched and my heart began to race.

"And what's underneath?" I inquired with equal quiet as we stared into each other's eyes, I swear I felt my soul leave my body when she replied.

"Nothing."

!!SMUT!!

Ellie's p.o.v.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. The air was thick with the tension between us, I almost dragged her out of the bar right now. (YN) simply stared at me innocently as she sipped at her beer.

"Care for a dance?" She grinned mischievously at me. I didn't even get a chance to answer as she prowled onto the dance floor area, my feet had a goal of their own it seemed as they forced me to follow her. When (YN) turned and saw me following like a damn lost puppy her smile brightened, as if I could resist her. The way her skin glowed from the time she spent outside in the summer, her hair clean and shining in the light, and her eyes. Her eyes so full of light and promises.

"You are so beautiful." I breathed once she took my left hand in hers and placed her other hand on my shoulder. Her cheeks flushed pink as I pulled her close to me, holding her waist with my hand that wasn't in her grip.

I let her lead me in the quick paced dance through whatever 80s song was blasting, (YN) let me spin her around and then pull her back to me. Her eyes were filled such joy it almost made me forget what she had said earlier.

"Nothing."

"What are you thinking about?" (YN) asked as the song ended and flowed into a slower song we could just sway to. She was breathless, wild, brave, she did what she wanted purely because she wanted it.

"You." I replied honestly. She huffed a laughed and leaned forward, resting her head on my shoulder.

"You're a shameless flirt." (YN) breathed against my neck making me shiver, she twirled the hair at the base of my neck in her fingers. Tugging gently at it idly as she bit her lip and looked up at me through her lashes. It was like my brain couldn't catch up with my body as I pulled her close to me and kissed her. I could feel her grin into my lips as she kissed me back. I pulled away swiftly as I remembered where we were, I looked around, nobody was staring at us. Nobody was coming to yell-

"What are you doing?! This is a family function." Seth shouted. Now people gawked at us. Seth was the owner of the bar that was supplying our drinks for this party.

"What are you doing? Yelling at us at a 'family function'. Get back behind the bar where you can't ruin the night for anyone else." (YN) spat back at him, letting go of me to fling her finger in his face. The old man looked shocked at the outburst.

"Great. Another loud mouthed dyke-" Seth didn't even finish that sentence before (YN) threw a perfect right hook. The crack of her fist against his jaw was like lightning. Seth stumbled back away from her. "You bitch." Seth snarled as he lunged towards her.

"Let it go Seth." I warned stepping forward, gripping (YN)'s shaking hand and tugging her backwards a step.

"Who do you think you are? You just got here. You ungrateful wretch, how-" Seth was cut off a second time by someone beating the shit out of him. Only this time it was Joel. I took the opportunity and pulled (YN) out of the bar, tugging her towards my house.

Once we were inside (YN) did not move from the entryway. I reached out and held her injured fist.

"Ellie... I just punched him." She whispered. I laced my fingers with hers and lifted her chin so she was staring into my eyes.

"Yes. You did. Don't regret it, not for one second. He deserved that." I soothed, my eyes flicking to her lips as her breathing increased.

"Kiss me, please." (YN) breathed. I didn't need further encouraging, I placed my hands on her hips and backed her against the front door that was clicked shut. I locked it, and finally kissed her.

She tasted like alcohol and it was like I could feel the electricity on her tongue. I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my mouth that allowed her to take control. Her tongue swept through my mouth brushing against mine, I pressed closer to her, flattening her against the door. (YN) tangled her fingers in my hair pulling me closer I could almost hear her tinkling voice in my head. More more more.

I broke away to kiss down her jaw, down her neck. Marking her in a few places, her whines encouraged me further, I would bite gently on a soft spot making her go absolutely rigid against me, then plaster soft kiss over the spot. We both went still when someone knocked on my door. Urgently. I rested my forehead against hers, laughing lightly. She joined in, I was sure the person on the other side of the door could hear.

"Don't answer it please." (YN) begged.

"They know we're here, they probably could hear us through the door." I giggled quietly, the mischievous grin that spread across (YN)'s face I regretted saying that. Almost.

She pulled me in for another kiss. This one was hot and swift, tongues and the teeth, those damn hands of her wandered down my sides and then she brazenly cupped my breasts over the shirt forcing a moan to escape my throat. The knocking paused, and then continued. Louder this time.

"Did you like that?" (YN) breathed in my ear, making me shiver. I nodded. Not wanting to totally give in to her. She massaged my breasts and then when she could feel my nipples harden beneath my thin sports bra she pinched them.

"I said. Did you like that?" (YN) ordered, trailing her mouth down the side of my neck, one hands still working my tit and the other one groping my ass, pulling me closer to her. I couldn't form words around her sinuous hands, I moaned louder in response. The knocking stopped.

"I hope it wasn't Joel at the door." I said seriously, pulling away from her to place my hand around her throat. Not squeezing just resting there, (YN)'s breathing quickened. "Is this okay?" I inquired, scanning her beautiful face before me.

"Ellie if you don't fuck me im going to go insane." (YN) pleaded. I smirked at her, seeing the need in her face, in the way she rubbed her thighs together, in the way her hands were just itching to do touch me. I turned her around swiftly so her front was pressed against my door, I really hope whoever was on the other side was gone because the moan that escaped (YN)'s lips as I pressed my hips into her ass, was by far the most erotic and angelic sound I had ever heard.

"May I?" I asked messing with the zipper of her dress, she nodded eagerly.

"Yes." She pleaded as I ever so slowly unzipped the dress revealing spans of lovely skin of her bare back. I kissed every inch I unzipped down her spine. When that damned dress finally came loose and I slid the straps off her shoulders, watching as she stepped out of where it pooled at her ankles. She wasn't lying when she said she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"You are so beautiful." I sighed against her shoulder, ghosting my mouth against the newly exposed skin. I could hear (YN)'s words become ragged as I nipped at her shoulder blades. "I'm not going to fuck you against my front door though."

The whine that left her lips made me grin, she turned around in my arms tangling her hands in my hair as she drank in my face.

"If you're not going to fuck me against the door, where exactly are you going to fuck me?" She breathed as my fingers brushed the undersides of her breasts, trailing to her waist.

"My bed." I purred in her ear, lifting her to wrap her legs around my waist. (YN) sealed her lips against mine, running her tongue along the seam of my mouth, I denied her the access so I could focus on getting to my bedroom.

"You are far too clothed for my taste." (YN)'s lips brushed against the shell of my ear making me shiver. A sly grin spread across her face as she pressed her body against mine making a soft moan escape my throat. Finally we got to my bedroom, I slid her gently onto the mattress, her knees bent at the edge baring her dripping cunt to me.

"You know, every time you tattooed me all I could think about was this moment. When I could finally taste every inch of your skin." I breathed, shedding my shirt quickly. My skin felt too hot under her lidded gaze. I started at her mouth, gasping into her lips as she brazenly cupped my breasts over my bra. (YN) made a frustrated noise before reaching around me and undoing my bra with one hand.

I bit her lip in reprimand before moving away to toss my bra away from us, leaving marks and bites along her delicate throat. I could feel the vibrations of her moans against my lips, I allowed my hands to travel. Ghosting along her ribs, her hips, teasingly along her inner thighs.

"Ellie please, fuck." (YN) begged. I never thought I'd hear such an angelic sound. Who was I to ignore her pleas? I allowed a single digit to enter her slick folds, the shuddering moan she let out was a symphony. I added another finger, working inside her curling up and as deep as I could. All I could do was watch (YN)'s face as her eyes squeezed shut and her back arched. One of her hand gripped my hair tightly, she inhaled sharply as I traced my thumb over her clit. I flicked the bundle of nerves every time I slammed my fingers into her, finding the sponge like spot along the top.

"Right there, please Ellie let me cum." (YN) pleaded, her nails scraping against my scalp deliciously. As much I would have loved to finish her right there, I thought the sight would be better from a different view. I removed my fingers and a guttural sound escaped her lips, soon my fingers were replaced by my tongue. I moaned into her at the taste of her core. Better than I've ever imagined.

I watched her face as I sucked on her clit harshly and then softly lapping at the delicate nub to make up for the slight pain. I reached up with one hand to massage her breasts, watching her face as I worked her clit with my tongue and then entered three fingers. I moved them quickly, having to stop paying attention to her tit in favor of holding her rolling hips still. A warning cry left her lips and I looked up just in time to see her head tip back and her eyes flutter shut as her release barreled through her.

"Jesus fucking Christ." (YN) moaned trying to regain her breathing. I smiled and kissed her thighs, up her belly, in between her breast, up her throat, and finally her mouth again.

"Nope just me." I grinned against her mouth, she huffed a laugh and stared up at me innocently. I could feel my heart soften at the sight of this beautiful woman beneath me.

"You are too cheeky for your own good." (YN) grinned mischievously, lifting her leg to come between my own allowing delicious friction where I needed it most. (YN) took advantage of the distraction and flipped out position, keeping her leg between mine she allowed her thigh to press against my center. "You still have your pants on." (YN) hummed, disappointment lacing her tone as she pulled away. I lifted my hips to allow her to pull my jeans and my underwear off in one smooth motion. (YN) ran just the tip of her pointer finger up my slit, watching me as a whine escaped my mouth.

"(YN)...fuck me." It was my turn to beg it seemed. The grin on the beautiful woman's face was enough to make me bite my lip to stop another gasping moan to find its way out of my throat. (YN) did not like this, she wrapped her hand around my throat squeezing lightly forcing the moan out of my mouth.

"I want all of Jackson to hear you, fuck I want all of Wyoming to be able to hear you as I devour you." (YN) breathed against my collarbone, her fingers travelled down my arms, her nails scraping against the sides of my breasts as she made her way down my ribs and to my hips.

"Please for the love of fu-" and before I could finish my complaint she dove two fingers into my folds, adjusting her position so she could suck and tease my nipple while keeping her focus on curling and ruining me with her fingers. I arched into her mouth allowing a long, breathy noise to fly from my mouth. I glanced down to find her watching me intently as her thumb began running circles around my clit. I gasped tipping my head back and fisting my hands in her hair, my hips lifting to meet her pace. She removed her fingers but kept the pressure on the pearl, only stopping to quickly replace her fingers with her face. Lifting one of my legs over her shoulders where (YN) knelt before me so she could have more access.

"You taste like water after a drought in the desert." (YN) cooed up at me, the vibrations causing another breathy sigh to escape me. One swipe of her tongue threw me to the edge of the world, so when she began to be true to her promise of devouring me. I wasn't sure if I would ever have sex with anyone again. Her tongue slipped inside of me, swirling as exploring as deep as (YN) could get. My back was going to snap at the rate for how much I've arched it into her touch. I could feel her hands snaking up the sheets, she laced her fingers with where my hand had been gripping the bedding. Her other hand held my hips still. Her mouth was like heaven, if the damn place existed. I could feel the coil in my abdomen begin to tighten almost to the snapping point.

"(YN), don't stop please fuck." I moaned. If anything my cries encouraged her more, her tongue working inside me and then my clit and then sweeping back inside me made me see stars.

"Let go Ellie." (YN) hummed. I felt it barreling down my spine, I gripped her hand tightly, arching my hips into her mouth. A long plea escaped my throat as I slowly drifted down from the high. I could feel (YN) lay beside me on the bed, tracing circles along my rib cage.

"I..I have never experienced anything like that." I breathed, looking at her stunning face to find her grinning proudly at me.

"I hope we can do this again sometime, I'm not sure how I'll keep my hands off you during our tattoo session." (YN) giggled. I grinned back at her, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

"I hope for my sake, that you don't." I winked.

It was the end of our tattoo session after we had sex. One look into her (EC) orbs and I knew no matter how hard Dina knocked at the door after this session there would be nobody to answer. But this time, nobody knocked. For a startled moment I realized it was Dina at my door last night.

My one brush of (YN)'s lips over mine had me forgetting all about it.

#ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou x reader #tlou x reader #tlou hbo #joel miller #dina tlou

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devouringbodies · 5 months

Text

Missing Hannibal so much hours so here's some s4 musings and contemplations (even though I don't Actually want a s4, but I do, but I don't, but I'd do, so let's just pretend)

YES to locations in Cuba/Latin America, bright, saturated colors like in the first few episodes but instead of fall it's very clearly summer for the first time ever in the show. I just love this as a contrast to the forever winter the show seems stuck in.

Along with that, maybe contrasting back to Jack and the FBI back in the states still stuck in the winter?? Another allusion to Will and Hannibal being "free" together in some regard in their warmth.

Also With This mayhaps Margot and Alana somewhere in a safe house in Norway or Iceland somewhere.

Wound care flashbacks to after the fall, Will is the one who saves Hannibal from the water, forcing him to consciously make the choice for them both to live.

Will in turn struggling with the ramifications of having made that decision.

DOMESTICITYYYYYYYYY

Hannibal in linens. Will in hideous button ups. period.

I have this vision of an opening into s4 of a brightly lit saturated scene of a needle dropping onto a record, there's breeze coming in through sheer curtains from an open window, segue into a beloved familiar cooking montage, but the tones are different, the lighting is brighter, the kitchen, accents, and utensils are markedly more Spanish in design, shots of forearms and hands wielding knives, slapping meat on cutting boards, everything we're used to, but pull back, and its Will cooking, as familiar in this kitchen as anything, as he brings two plates out and serves both him and Hannibal, the latter of the two sitting at the table ready and beaming.

This is the song the needle drops and is playing through that above scene btw.

Scenes of Will at a farmers market speaking Spanish to vendors please. For science.

Therapy scenes and talk 2.0 only this time it is more Hannibal discussing and learning to express what he wants, what he desires, and Will entertains him and uses his empathy to barrow on Hannibal's psychotherapy techniques to help Hannibal express and "cultivate" these urges he has. I.e, that he wants to go hunting again, and wants it with Will.

Will, who's using these sessions as a distraction, is actually also DESPERATELY craving this too. I'm talking Will is full blown Dexter urges to kill feels it under his skin now, but of course, doesn't want to admit this, and is doing everything in his power to distract and hold it back, maybe even hallucinating a few familiar faces about it along the way.

Sex scene that is literally just almost entirely insanely close up shots of teeth and skin and mouths, hands and flesh, so close most of the time you can't even tell what's going on, it's so abstract, so soft and slow, before it gets increasingly suddenly violent, flashes in between tender love nips suddenly cut with skin ripping and tearing, teeth rending, chewing, swallowing, the music turns dark and terrible and quickens, and finally an enormous horrific wide shot of just them in a bed and there's blood literally everywhere, blood pouring down the walls, camera at the foot of the bed as it pans down and you just see blood continue to splatter the headboard as they slip from view.

That's all I got rn, just some stuff for fun.

#🪰#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #meta #hannibal meta #hannibal season 4 #s4 musings #I don't necessarily always want all of these things but this is what I'm feeling rn and just rolled with it #some days I want some of this more than others #sometimes I want something completely different #so at least there's always fic for that #except that sex scene. would kill for that sex. scene

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 11 months

Text

What if Eddie had been hidden at Steve's house after Chrissy? Part Three

Part one Part Two

Steve was holding Eddie's hand in the Upside Down, their fingers laced together. He was both giddy and trepdatious. Holding Eddie's hand, he definitely felt like he could get through this, but Steve couldn't help but think about what would happen to Eddie afterward. Would stopping Vecna be enough? If Steve had to, he could hide Eddie forever? They could go on the run if they had to.

"You know that was totally Ozzy what you did back there," Eddie said.

"What?" Steve asked.

"You don't know who Ozzy is?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, I have no clue who you're talking about," Steve shrugged his shoulders.

"You know, he bit the head off the bat on stage?" Eddie asked, and Steve slowly started to grin. "Oh, you fucker, I thought I told you about him when we went to bed last night."

Eddie pulled away from him scoffing. Steve laughed and grabbed him by his hips, pulling Eddie to him. He leaned in for kisses, but Eddie turned away, causing Steve to kiss his cheek.

"Come on, Eddie. Please?"

"No. No kisses for assholes."

Steve started kissing his jawline and then moved down to his neck. Eddie bit back a moan, rolling his eyes.

"What if I apologize?" Steve asked and Eddie hummed. "I'm really, really sorry. Baby, am I forgiven?"

"What do you think?" Eddie asked and pulled him into a kiss.

Steve moaned against his lips, and just as he slipped his tongue inside of Eddie's, they both felt someone tug harshly on their ears. Robin was standing in front of them scowling.

"I'm happy you two are together, but if I have to break you two apart one more time. . .we need to get guns! In fact, you know what? Eddie, go walk with Nancy! Don't you give me those eyes! Now!" Robin said, snapping her fingers, and Eddie flipped her off as he walked away.

"I already miss you, sweetheart!" Eddie called out.

Steve crossed his arms and pouted at Robin.

"You're mean."

When they made it to Wheeler's house, Nancy realized that they were back in 1983 and there were no guns anywhere. Meanwhile, Steve had heard Dustin's voice coming from downstairs, and for a moment, Eddie thought that his new boyfriend had gone insane from the blood loss, but then he heard Dustin too.

"Dustin! Man, can you hear us? If you can hear us, Mummy and Daddy are doing just fine. Well, mummy's a bit chewed up, but other than that. . .Dustin?" Eddie asked as he looked behind a curtain. "Oh, Auntie Robin and Auntie Nancy are here too."

"Why the hell am I the mommy?" Steve asked, his hands on his hips.

"I think you just answered your own question there, Steve," Robin quipped, and Nancy snickered as Robin mockingly put her hands on her hips as she popped one out.

"I hate you guys," Steve mumbled.

"It's not our fault you have childbearing hips, Stevie," Eddie said, wrapping his arm around Steve’s waist and squeezing his hip.

They quickly figured out that, well, Nancy figured out that they could communicate with the lights like Joyce did with Will. Once they had a system set up, Dustin told them about their being a gate at each murder site. So, the gate they needed to go to was Eddie's trailer, which Nancy calculated was seven miles away. They gathered bikes to ride to Eddie's trailer, and Steve struggled not to laugh at the fact that Eddie was given a kid's bike. Eddie quickly flipped him off as he got onto the bike, and Steve rode off in front of him. Eddie couldn't help but wolf whistle at his boyfriend's ass wiggling in the air.

"Eddie," Robin hissed. "Bats, remember?"

"Right."

They made it to Eddie's trailer and walked in to find the gate on the ceiling. Eddie paled and slid his hand into Steve’s, gripping it tightly, trembling.

"This is where Chrissy died. Like right where she died," Eddie gulped. "One minute, she was laughing, and then she she was. . . Steve, there was something there. . .for a moment, there was something there with us, and she was like a bright shining sun that was hidden, eclipsed by darkness. She let me see it, and I wish she knew that I was so grateful for the way she smiled at me. I swear to God, Steve, I hate him for never giving me a chance with her, but then I never would have had this chance with you. I feel so guilty because I feel so selfish."

Eddie hadn't realized that he had been crying until Steve had pulled him into his arms.

"It's okay to miss her, Eddie, even though you didn't know her very long. It's okay to miss what could have been," Steve whispered. "Plus, if she was still alive, then I would have been happy to share you."

"Seriously?" Eddie asked.

"Yes, seeing you happy would make me happy, Eddie. If you wanted both of us, then you could have had both of us. It's okay to miss that too," Steve said.

Eddie surged forward and kissed him, holding onto him tightly. They broke apart when a broom handle came bursting through the gate. They looked into the hole to find Dustin, Max, Lucas, and Erica Sinclair looking at them.

"Oh my God! Steve, Eddie, are you guys holding hands?!" Dustin squealed.

"Yeah, we found some super glue down here, rubbed it on our hands, and high fived each other without thinking now we're stuck like this," Eddie said sarcastically.

"Aw, really?"

"No, Dustin!"

Dustin slugged Eddie in the shoulder once he came through the gate. Robin had come through when they heard Steve screaming Nancy's name. Eddie told Robin to find anything to play for Nancy while Eddie crawled back through the gate to help his boyfriend. Nancy collapsed into their arms crying, and they ended up bringing her to Max's in the right side up. It was still dark, so they all agreed to get some rest, or at least they would try to. Nancy was still clinging to Steve and Eddie, shaken by what happened. She couldn't help but crack a joke.

"I'm sorry, Eddie," Nancy said.

"For what?"

"For coming in between you and your boyfriend," Nancy said and then burst into laughter.

"Lame joke, Wheeler," Eddie said, and then he started laughing too.

The next morning, Nancy was ready to talk. She told them what Vecna or rather Henry Creel had shown them. He had become one of Brenner's experiments after killing his mother and his sister. She told them of his plans for Hawkins, how he was using all four deaths to open a giant gate into Hawkins to bring balance. He had shown her Hawkins under seige, and there would be no difference between Hawkins and the Upside Down. It was Max who realized that he had been telling them his plan all along with the chiming of the clocks four times.

Just when they were ready to lose hope against someone as powerful as Vecna, Dustin was the one to remind them Henry could travel like Eleven that he would be vulnerable in that moment where he would be going after his fourth victim. They didn't know when it would happen. That's when Max volunteered herself as bait. Eddie and Steve immediately jumped up.

"Nope! No way! It's not going to happen!" Eddie exclaimed, looking at Steve. "No way is our kid -,"

"Not your kid!" Max exclaimed, scowling.

"No way is OUR KID going to be bait!" Eddie exclaimed.

Steve scowled and pulled Max into his arms. Eddie joined him, squishing her in between them.

"I am NOT your kid!" Max exclaimed, struggling then relaxed and sighed, hugging them back. "I have to try, don't I?"

There was no use arguing with Max. Even Lucas tried to talk to her. Of course, it was a suicide mission, but it was the best plan they had. Everyone hated to admit it. Steve hated knowing there was nothing he could for Max. He should be the one in her place. It should be Steve being the one to distract Vecna. Not Max, never Max. Hadn't she been through enough?

Pretty soon, they were wiring an RV to steal weapons for their trip back into the Upside Down. Well, Eddie was wiring it. Apparently, Steve was going to be the one driving it. Once inside the War Zone, Steve focused on properly bandaging his bites and getting fresh clothes along with some shoes. When he came out, Robin was staring longingly at Vickie, a disappointing look on her face.

"Don't lose hope, Robin. I never thought that I would wind up finding someone again who could give me hope for the future, but I did. If I could find someone, then someone could find their way to you," Steve said. "I refuse to let that asshole Vecna take away my hope, and you shouldn't either because what else do we have, right?"

"Right."

They managed to avoid getting caught by Jason and his goods, peeling away. Eddie had collapsed in the seat next to him, smiling. He looked so good in his new battle vest and bullet belt, one leg propped up. Steve had to force himself to focus on driving, and he couldn't help but start talking about his dream.

"I know it's a lot early, but am I a part of your dream, big boy?" Eddie asked softly.

"Do you want to be?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Eddie said, taking his hand. "By the way. . .six kids?!"

"It's a joke because of the ones we already have. No, one of each sounds nice," Steve said.

"You guys are so cute," Robin said, popping up between them. "By the way, if adoption isn't an option, you guys can totally put your babies in my little oven."

"Ah, you're so vein, Buckley," Eddie chuckled.

"What?"

"You just want to see how big your boobs get," Eddie cackled.

". . .No, no, that's not it at all," Robin said with a shake of her head. "Moving on, and I'm totally going to be the best man at your very illegal wedding. I mean, if Eddie is still a fugitive by then, it shouldn't matter, right?"

"If Eddie is still a fugitive, let's hope not, but if he is still a fugitive, then I'm one too. I think that would make us Bonnie and Clyde," Steve said.

"Hell, yeah, I can see it now. Fucking and robbing banks up and down the coast in a stolen winnebago," Eddie said sending Steve a lewd grin. "I've always wanted to see a beach."

"Ew, you just made it gross," Robin said.

They dropped off Max, Lucas, and Erica at the Creel House while the others went through the gate. Steve hated the idea of parting with Eddie and Dustin, but the plan was set. Eddie and Dustin would distract the bats while the other three would enter the Creel House. When Eddie called his name, Steve turned toward him. He could see the fear in Eddie's eyes, the worry that they might not see each other again. Steve marched over to him, cupped his face, and kissed Eddie deeply. Dustin watched with a fond smile on his face until Steve slipped his tongue into Eddie's mouth, and Dustin scrunched his face up in disgust.

"Ew. EW! Come on, we have a world to save, guys! Stop it!" Dustin screeched.

Steve reluctantly pulled himself away after he made them promise not to be heroes. As they walked towards the Creel house, Nancy talked about how excited she was to go to Emerson and talked of her dreams of being a reporter. Steve and Robin started arguing about whether her partner in crime should be a cat or a dog.

"How about a talking dog?" Nancy suggested.

"That would be so cool!" Robin exclaimed.

"Dustin would make an excellent reporter," Steve said, and everyone laughed.

The laughter stopped when they entered the house. They were almost thwarted by vines wrapping around their throat, but they eventually made it to the attic. They made quick work of it, aiming for the head. Nancy shot him while Steve aimed the axe at his head, and Robin threw molotovs at Vecna. The shells pierced his forehead as Steve slammed the axe into his skull while flames engulfed Vecna's body. Steve removed the axe and repeatedly slammed it into his head. Vecna's body let out a piercing shriek as it shriveled up, the flames burning it to a crisp. Vecna was dead.

The others didn't waste any time running back to the trailer. They were close when they heard Dustin's screams, calling Eddie's name. Steve felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, and he ran faster. Eddie lay on the ground, surrounded by dead bats, with Dustin crying over him. Steve let out a sob as he collapsed next to Eddie. He was still breathing pretty good, but he was in worse shape than Steve.

"I wanted to buy you more time," Eddie said coughing up blood.

Steve lifted him in his arms and started carrying Eddie towards the gate. Meanwhile, Robin and Nancy helped Dustin. It was difficult, but they managed to maneuver Eddie through the gate. It closed behind them, as though nothing ever happened. Steve stepped out of the trailer in the right side up to find Wayne Munson pulling up in his truck. To his surprise, Max and Lucas had spilled out too. Lucas's face was beaten up.

"EDDIE!" Wayne yelled and made his way over to help him in the truck.

"Uncle Wayne!" Eddie said, his words slurring. "What a way for my boyfriend to meet my uncle. He saved my life, you know."

Steve climbed into the back with Eddie and held him in his arms while the others climbed into the bed.

"Eddie, you know your uncle saved our lives," Max said, trying to keep him awake.

"Yeah, he's a good egg like that," Eddie mumbled.

"I heard they were out hunting you, Eds, I couldn't let them hurt you," Wayne said as he pressed on the gas. "You hold on now."

Eddie gave his uncle a watery smile.

"I love you, Uncle Wayne," Eddie muttered.

Steve clung to Eddie, pressing a kiss into his hair, sobbing.

"What's your name, son?" Wayne asked Steve.

"Steve Harrington," he sniffled, looking at him.

"You love my boy?" Wayne asked.

"Yes," Steve cried.

"That's all I need to know."

Eddie's world was growing dark, and the last thing he saw before darkness overcame him was a beautiful angel yelling his name.

SIX YEARS LATER. . .

The winnebago parked itself on the beach. It was obviously new. Its white walls shone brightly in the sun, and the headlights glinted. Inside, it was just as shiny, but it was cluttered with objects that belonged to the family who bought the winnebago. Pictures were secured of family gatherings, graduations, of a wedding, and the birth of beautiful children. Newspaper articles with the author's name circled lay nestled in the drawers along with letters from older teenagers in college.

Steve stepped out, breathing in the smell of the ocean, and grinned, shielding his eyes from the sun. His toes curled into the sand as he waited patiently. He turned back towards the door and stared. It opened up with a bang.

"Did you leave enough sunblock for the rest of the world?" Steve asked.

"Chrissy is a ginger, Steve! Do you want our daughter to burn?!" Eddie asked as he held their baby on his hip.

Steve shifted Chrissy's twin, Tori, on his own hip. Chrissy giggled as she slapped her baby hand on her arm as she played with the sunblock that Eddie put on her. Twins had been a pleasant surprise, and when Chrissy's hair came out, strawberry blonde, there was only one name for her. Victoria, of course, was named after her surrogate mother. After Robin had watched Alien for the first time, she developed a phobia for pregnancy. Vickie had quickly volunteered, seeing as she was the one to suggest the movie. The twins both had curly hair and big brown eyes from Eddie, but Tori's was a dark brown like Eddie's. They both wore matching bathing suits with matching hats. Tori wore red, and Chrissy wore green.

"Hi, Daddy," Steve said, greeting him with a kiss. "Despite the extreme amount of sunblock, you both look good."

"Right back at ya, Daddy. Although you and Tori could use some more," Eddie said.

Their daughters sat between their legs as the water gently tickled their toes. Steve and Eddie both watched them with fond smiles on their faces. Steve looked over at his husband, his heart full. God, he was so glad he decided to hide Eddie in his house. It had given him the best gift of all.

And they lived happily ever after. . .

@gregre369

@goodolefashionedloverboi

@stevesbipanic

@estrellami-1

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #pro platonic ronance #mentions of #rovickie #rockie

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thecardiganunderthebed · 6 months

Text

the cruel prince headcannons i have and ik I'm right okay!? part 2/it shall go on forever

Vivi would be the one to have those memory shoe boxes, like with polaroids of them and lil notes they wrote to each other when they were kids. She's secretly very sentimental, she keeps everything that helps her remember any small moment (just like me frfr)

which is why she loves right where you left me by taylor swift. AHA

Jude is evermore and Taryn is folklore.

When you yell at at either Jude or Cardan they both go stone-faced and chew the inside of their cheeks. Both of them weren't allowed to show weakness growing up so they share this trait and it has been titled the "uh-oh expression" because if they make that face uh oh! you're fucked.

When cardan finds out Jude trained herself to be immune to poisons, obviously, his first response is going bat shit insane because "why would you do that!!!" but after that has worn off its "....this means you can brew poisons right?..so theoretically.....you could teach me how to make poisons RIGHT???"

She says no.

He is devastated

When you look at cardan he looks scary as shit but that kinda wears off when the king of Elfame has a habit of draping himself across curtains to express distraught or distaste

Jude is the one who detangles him from the curtains after the said breakdown

HEATHER

WOULD

PUT

FLOWERS

CARDANS

HAIR

and he would let her.

even though he hates his being touched, him and heather have become unlikely friends

Because he loves stories and telling them, and she is "a delightful audience Jude, she gasps at all the right parts and asks all the right questions!"

Cardan also feels like he finally got sisters back with Vivi and Heather

HEATHER AND VIVI DO GET BACK TOGETHER FUCK YOU

as the years pass, cardan doesn't let Jude go the mortal realm often cause then she'll age :((

Cardan and Jude often make elaborate mockeries of the members in the council (what you thought cardan was the only dramatic and sarcastic one???)

VIVI WAS A THEATRE KID SHE STILL REMEMBERS ALL THE MUSICALS SHE DID

Taryn's favorite subject would've been literature

Jude was a math kid i think

If she found cool math games.com she would go insane

"WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS MAGICAL SITE" "Jude we were kids when we left so we couldn't have-" "SHUT UP TARYN

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t00thpasteface · 2 months

Note

I forgot if I've already asked you this question, but who is your number one favorite Fictional Antagonist from Media? Rules are as follows; feel free to ignore:

If you want to choose a recurring villain like Bowser or The Joker, you have to choose a particular incarnation of this character. Like Alan Moore's Joker or Paper Mario 64's Bowser.

Specific Characters/Entities Only. You can't say, "Haunted Houses that aren't haunted by, like, a single ghost or anything in particular" like my mom wanted to. She settled firmly on "The Overlook Hotel" and she's a stronger person for it.

Villainous Duos like Boris & Natasha are accepted.

People have a hard time picking a #1, so you're allowed to list as many runner-ups as you like. Listen to your heart.

Protagonists who are their own worst enemies don't count!

Villainous characters who are protagonists in their story are very begrudgingly accepted. Whether or not George Costanza (A Villainous Protagonist) or Detective Columbo (A Heroic Antagonist) count is beyond the scope of this paper.

Thank you for your time!

hmmmm!! that's a really interesting question to chew on actually.

i'm not usually drawn to villains or villain-driven stories, outside of games that necessitate it as a gameplay mechanic or genre staple a la mario games or your standard JRPGs. and i wouldn't call a glorified game mechanic a character if they really don't do much besides throw barrels at the player to jump over. porky and giygas are exceptions but honestly not much; they aren't very complicated characters, even though they're snappily written, and most of where they shine is just the fact that they're one well-placed load-bearing piece in a larger cohesive narrative. they don't really capture my attention outside of their gameplay role.

i'm overall much more compelled by Romantic with a capital R stories about internal, oftentimes more abstracted struggles. i mean, i don't have to tell you that my favorite books EVER are "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" and "The Great Gatsby," both of which play with deuteragonists as foils to the narrator that inevitably spiral and leave the reader with something of a thought exercise regarding the intersection of nature versus nurture, intent versus action, past versus future, et cetera. the characters themselves are symbolic of sociological concepts so much larger than themselves, and because of that, they can't truly be classified into "hero" or "villian", because the topics those books grapple with are so incredibly messy and morally-fuzzy that the characters who exemplify them must reflect that same complexity and nuance.

as soon as a story starts to veer towards "all our problems are caused by One Guy who we can remove from the equation forever," it usually loses me, or if nothing else it just makes me zone out when the villain and his evil army of doom is on screen until we're back to introspective character-building moments between the protags, deuterags, etc. i'm the boring guy who likes slow, dialogue-driven things more than flashy show tunes.

ALL THAT BEING SAID......

villains really only shine (for me) if they're funny as fuck. that's the one way they can really get my attention as a character that has, by definition, been written into a unilaterally negative role that must be booed. they get to be FUNNY! and they get to be my favorite kind of funny: insane slapstick funny. i like seeing cartoony villains get absolutely pulverized, thrown around like wet dishrags, set on fire, flung off cliffs, you name it. the zanier the better. so here's my own elite 4 in ascending order:

fourth is 2012 avengers movie Loki. very hammy, very showy, extremely puncheable face, and he takes SO much physical punishment and writhes like a worm the whole time. super fun.

third is pokemon's Archie. emerald is my favorite game but archie SHINES in alpha sapphire. he's such a huge personality and he takes hits with a smile. and then he gets a big fuzzy redemption at the end because this is a game for kids, but even that is so over-the-top cornball that i just laugh and smile the whole time instead of rolling my eyes. a good wholesome time was had by all.

second is Mr. Burns in the simpsons. let me preface this by saying i really don't watch anything after, ehhhh, i'd say season 8 or 9, because that's about where my box sets ended growing up. any episode where Mr. Burns gets some slapstick gags about his incredibly frail body that runs on pure evil is a good episode. i especially love "the springfield files," "homer the smithers," "homer at the bat," and "who shot mr burns" parts 1 and 2.

and my favorite is undoubtedly Sheldon J. Plankton. similar situation as simpsons; i don't watch anything after seasons 1-3 and the first movie. he commands every single scene he's in, which is especially impressive given that he's literally just a single tiny copepod. he's got the best villain laugh EVER. he's even a delight in the game "battle for bikini bottom"... you GOTTA check out BFBB Rehydrated if you like the spirit and snark of the early seasons. i love him in "walking small," "F.U.N.," "the algae's always greener," and of course, the movie. he's evil! he's diabolical!! he's LEMON SCENTED!!!!

#i'm not sorry i wrote a fucking essay. if you get me talking about Art Analysis you will never hear the fucking end of it!!!!#shebbz shoutz #ask

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lukevonhagen · 1 year

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my take on marius von hagen: part one, his approach to romance

marius has been with me for over a year now and he pretty much occupies my thoughts 24/7, and this was something i have been itching to write for a while. so... strap in, grab your juice box and your cheetos and let's get this show on the road yeah?

Fair Warning, this will not be under a read more, so i apologize in advance if it gets pretty lengthy. (edit: this post is abt 1.8k words long, wow sorry lol.)

this is going to be a character analysis... sort of; it's an analysis of the version of marius that lives in my brain rent free. given that this is an introductory post to what i believe might be a series of my insane marius ramblings, i think i should provide some insight as to what said marius is like in order for the rest of this post to make sense.

first of all, i embrace realism and i reject canon. in marius' sweet wonders card, he finally reveals the significance of the z dog tag he's always wearing. while i think it's really magical that he was able to move on from blaming himself for his mother's death by having an epiphany staring at the ferris wheel... well, i like to make him worse and i just don't think, ultimately, that it's likely or realistic. the marius in my head has a very hard time trying to justify his own existence. i'm not saying he doesn't want to live, or that he'd put himself in any kind of danger, but i believe that he works very hard in order to justify being alive (to himself). not only does he still grapple with the loss of his mother and the role he believes he had to play in that, but there's a part of him that also blames himself for giann's disappearance.

marius believes that he is a vortex that sucks in everything, that destroys everything in its wake. we know for a fact, above all else, that marius doesn't want other people to have to go down with him.

i also believe (especially due to this description) that marius personally manufactured the image he has as a playboy, as opposed to it being a reputation that was given by others which he eventually leaned into.

allow me to elaborate.

marius, in his desire to avoid people being chewed up in his life and spat back out, would want to control the situation as much as possible. there are a few reasons why i believe he'd make this reputation for himself, which are 1) having control of the narrative of himself and making sure people do underestimate him is precisely how he maintains the upper hand in many scenarios (because let's face it, no one expects ditzy, arrogant marius von hagen to be able to outsmart them), and 2) it's much easier to push people away when he makes himself seem incompetent and undesirable. he may be one of the richest men on the planet, but sometimes money isn't enough to redeem an awful composition.

all of that having been said, marius additionally has to have severe trust issues due to the fact that he has a lot of influence and wealth people undoubtably want to use him for, and said influence is the source of a traumatic experience he went through as a child that would forever change the way he'd interact with others in the future. if you remember, marius vaguely alludes to an incident in will of the trees.

he mentions it again in the card in the darkness when he and rosa get trapped in a dark cave and he begins to panic, only this time he's a little more detailed about what happened to him in order to explain his anxiety to her.

then, he actually gives the details of what happened in his personal story.

mc remembers the hints marius had dropped to her a couple of times regarding this incident, so she then asks:

i don't believe marius actually blamed himself for his mother until this was said about him. his mother is the root of all things; he thinks that if he was never born, she would have never died, and perhaps she and giann would still be around and would be happy and healthy. he convinces himself that his existence destroyed his family. the stress of his feelings and anxiety makes him extremely sick as a kid.

all of this was too much for a young marius; now, remember when i said that i reject canon? that's important, because i don't think he ever properly recovered from this episode. i fully believe that marius does need and should go to therapy as an adult, and hasn't done so. my headcanon as to why he didn't, and why he gives off the impression that he's fine now and everything is fine now, is because he wised up and realized that he was being a burden on others and his mother's death would be in vain if he did so.

marius, tired of being a strain on the people he loves, pretends to be mentally sound to avoid his father and brother worrying about him. the way he chooses to cope with this is to disassociate himself with these events that happened to him, to the point where he talks about them like it wasn't him personally that experienced it. (i might touch upon this again in a future post if it becomes relevant.) he can't let others know that things bother him, because it can be weaponized; it would make him look weak, and the last thing he wants is anyone worrying about him but himself, or anyone to take advantage of that weakness. consider this as a strategy he adopted from the "conceal, don't feel" philosophy.

that having been said, a personal acceptance to "get over it" to stop feeling like he needs an emotional babysitter in his relatives =/= a lack of resentment towards others for how that was handled. marius nearly died due to the cruelty of a jealous relative, and his family was right in trying to protect him (as burdensome as he feels he may is), and he learns pretty quickly that he cannot trust others.

he still is one of the most influential people alive, and that means there's going to be a slew of people walking in and out of the revolving door leading into his life that are going to want to take advantage of that fact. it also goes beyond just people wanting to manipulate him, but he doesn't enjoy playing along in this circus of social hierarchy, and doesn't enjoy the people hanging around in these spaces. because they're ingenuine, they have no merit to him, and quite simply put he's looking to fill his life with color and sincerity.

i propose that... in order to consider a romantic relationship with someone, despite how much he longs for one, he would need to deeply get to know the person first and it would take a significant time to do so... and i know what you're thinking, it's just like a regular relationship, right? getting to know someone before deciding if you want to be with them? except, to marius, this is extreme; this social sphere he occupies has effectively chewed him up and spat him back out, because he's at the top of the top. his father is the wealthiest man in the world. marius by virtue of being a von hagen is essentially on the same level as royalty, and his family name is not enough to protect him. he has to be sharp, and he needs to be alert and constantly on guard.

he'd have no idea what someone's intentions may be with him when he meets them and he knows better than to blindly trust a person's seemingly apparent good faith, but also... he's so worried about dragging people down that he'd be almost afraid to consider it. it isn't enough that people want to use and abuse him to their hearts' content, but they'd try to tear up anyone else who went in there with him, and marius would be afraid of that outcome. he's already ruined the lives of his mother and his brother in his failure to protect them from the circumstances that removed them from his life. he would be unwilling to cause someone else he cares about to be put in the same situation, and he wouldn't be able to bear it if they also ended up abandoning him.

all of that leads me to say: i believe he would be more scared and avoidant upon realizing he was falling in love with someone, rather than immediately trying to pursue it with all he's got like he would his other endeavors.

the reason? it's so simple to pursue art. art is an arbitrary passion of his that doesn't impede on anyone else but himself, nor is it influenced by any outside forces; marius has full control over it. the same goes for his company; no one is going to sit there and hold his hand with his newfound ceo duties. he's always been capable of pursuing things on his own. romance is different; romance involves putting his young and fragile heart on the line to go after a whole other independent and outside entity not knowing whether or not he's going to face rejection.

eventually, i believe he'll completely learn to get over the hurdle, but in the interest of transparency... i think he's going to need a nudge from the other person first. a sign it's reciprocated, before he has to put his heart on ice.

i think it's on brand for marius to be a tease when you meet him; it is a genuine facet of his personality, but it's also something that feeds well into his reputation. he's assuming that people are going to know exactly who he is when he runs into them on the street, so he doesn't even bother dropping his pretense. but, i do think that extends... he doesn't drop that mask right away, it takes months and months, and lots of patience and understanding in order to unravel the mystery that is marius von hagen. he's going to want to gauge whether or not it's something he wants to commit to, and if it is, he's going to have to be prepared to unpack all that baggage. he would have to believe that this is going to be a happy ending for him, that his fairytale won't be a tragedy, in order to see a path forward. once marius goes into something, he doesn't step out.

so, he won't put up that much of a fight if he starts to fall in love with you, but that doesn't mean he would be eager make that leap of faith without getting a hint that there will be a safety net ready to catch him when he falls.

#marius von hagen #tears of themis #lu jinghe #tot marius #z rambles #i might end up editing this post a dozen times as i think of new things to say

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galaxychaos78 · 2 years

Text

The Princess and the Loser

Kiba was crazy about you.

You were popular and beautiful; always friendly to everyone and always surrounded by people. You were rich too…like an insane amount of rich, but you didn’t flaunt your money around like it. You seemed so humble and didn’t brag about it, about the fact that you could literally pay off your tuition and it would barely make a dent in your account. Of course he wasn’t the only one who had a crush on you. He would hear all sorts of guys and even some girls talk about wanting to ask you out. From what he heard though, you always politely declined everyone, so he didn’t bother trying. Besides, he wasn’t anything special. He didn’t have any friends that weren’t online and he wasn’t exactly the most approachable person. People always looked him over or didn’t bother looking at him at all. So when you suddenly plop down beside him in class, he’s shocked. He tries to say something, say anything to you, but his words die in his throat. It goes like that for a few weeks; you sitting beside him and him trying to muster up the courage to say something. He tries so hard not to stare when you adjust your shirt and loses focus when he thinks about how soft the skin of your thighs would feel against his fingertips whenever you wear skirts. One day, as he’s packing up after class, you tap his shoulder.

“Um..hi.” You say softly, his mind going haywire as you smile at him. His cock is straining in his pants as you look at him and he tries so bad not to stare at your chest in the crop top you're wearing. Every part of you is so beautiful up close and he stares at your mouth as you speak again, wondering what lip gloss flavor you have on. He’s so caught up in his own mind that he doesn’t notice you’ve stopped talking.

"Kiba..? You ok?" He only nods and smiles sheepishly, trying to hide how in shock he is because holy shit you know his name.

"S-sorry, I'm a little exhausted..what were you saying?" You giggle a little and give him a sympathetic smile that gives him goosebumps. You radiate such a gentle nature and he just wants to be enveloped in it forever.

"Was just wondering if you'd be able to tutor me..? I'm really not understanding the lesson and I know you're always-"

"Yes." He says it so quick it surprises you, but you grin. You scribble your number on a piece of paper and place it in the pocket of his jacket. He prays you didn’t feel how fast his heart was beating.

"Thanks! You're the best!" With a wave, you stand and bound out of the classroom, Kiba's eyes trained in on the way your ass jiggles in your shorts. He waits until you're out of sight before letting out a huge breath. He has your number. You know his name. He shuts his eyes for a second, silently pleading for his hard on to go down.

He texts you the next morning asking if noon at his dorm would be good. To his surprise, you text back almost immediately confirming the plans. He cleans his room in a haste; throwing the piles of clothes into his hamper, organizing what little desk space he had that wasn't taken by his gaming setup, and washing the dishes in his tiny kitchen. He changes into a clean tank top and sweats, making a note to do laundry later. He sprays the leftover febreeze he has to cover up the weed smell in the bathroom just as he hears a knock on his door. You're standing there in a beautiful yellow sundress and a few bags in your hands. The perfume you're wearing hits his nose and he wants to drown in it.

"Sorry about the bags, I kinda went overboard with snacks.." You say sheepishly. You set them down on the ground and grab a bag of Hi-Chews from it before sitting on the edge of his bed. He’s dreamed about this for so long; you in his bed, in his arms. squirming under his body, begging him to make you cum...He snaps out of his daydream and sits across from you, his back against the headboard. He fumbles to grab his textbook and notes as you unwrap the piece of candy, swallowing hard as you hum at the taste. He never thought he would be jealous of a piece of candy. Shockingly, it only takes an hour to teach you. As he goes over the questions, you answer them correctly and let out a sigh as you flopped onto his pillows next to him.

"Think you'll be able to pass the next quiz now." He says as he stands, setting the textbook and his notes on his desk. A few stray candy wrappers decorate his bed and he watches as you stretch before laying back against the headboard.

"S' cause you're a good teacher Kiba." He can't get over how nice his name sounds from your lips. He wants to hear it often; wants to be lulled to sleep by it, to hear how his name sounds as you moan for him. "And its cause you're so smart. Probably the smartest guy I know." His heart beat picks up and he feels his face start to heat up at the praise. He fiddles with a loose cord from his computer and you almost coo. He's so noticeably nervous around you and its insanely cute. You don't remember why you sat next to him one day. He was a loser and most people left it at that when you asked about him. But something about him intrigued you. Maybe it was the way that he kept to himself, or the way that he looked so desperate to please others. Maybe it was because he didn’t approach you in any way, but you always found him looking. Maybe you just wanted to take care of him, to spoil him. Whatever the reason, you started to sit next to him during classes. Everyday, you would catch him stealing glances at your chest, even though he thought he was being sneaky. That's when you noticed the hard on he was trying to hide. He wasn't bad looking for a nerd; cute brown hair, a toned body. And from the way his dick was straining in his pants, he definitely wasn't lacking.

"Do I make you nervous Kiba?" You watched the way he shivered at the low tone of your voice. Goosebumps littered his arms and the blush on his face became more evident. He stared down at his notes, swallowing hard. "I asked you a question."

"Y-yeah." He stammered, balling one of his hands into fists. You patted the empty space beside you and he obediently walked over, letting out a ragged breath as you sat on his lap. His arms laid at his sides, but you could see him clutching the blanket. You cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch, staring up at you with hazy brown eyes. He looked at you like you were everything; the reason for living, the reason for breathing. It was adorable and made you giddy.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" He shook his head and you stroked his cheek with your thumb. “Is there anyone you wanna kiss?” He was silent for a bit, his gaze looking away from you as if he was embarrassed. Your hand left his cheek and went towards his chin, moving his head to face you. You knew the answer, you just wanted to hear him say it.

“S’ you. S’ always been you,” The whine, the desperation in his voice caught you off guard. His arms wrapped around you and he buried his head in your shoulder. You could feel his hard cock brushing against your cunt and it sent shivers up your spine. “Wanna have you be the only one to kiss me. Wanna have you as my first girlfriend, don’t want anyone else. Don’t wanna be anyone else’s but yours.” Your cunt throbbed at his words. He looked up at you and you swore you saw hearts swimming in his eyes. “Want you to be the only one to make me cum.” That’s all it took for you to break. You kissed him and he groaned, hands clutching your dress for stability. His lips moved slowly against yours and he hesitantly opened his mouth, moaning as you slid your tongue inside. You tasted like Hi-Chew candies and he determined then that would be the only candy he ate from now on. You pulled away for air, watching the strand of spit break.

Without giving him a chance to recover, you latched your mouth onto his neck, biting and sucking at the skin. He grunted and leaned his head back. “Mmph!..y-you can mark me all you want m’ yours.”

“Fuck you can’t say shit like that.” You muttered against his skin. His words were honest and having him under you, trusting you with his body, submitting to you because he knew you’d take care of him, had your panties drenched. But as badly as you wanted him to make you cum, his pleasure was your first priority. You lifted his shirt and kissed down his chest, watching him shiver as you kissed his v line. You grabbed the hem of his sweats but stopped, staring at him. “You’re ok with this? Don’t wanna do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” He shook his head and ran his thumb across the back of your hand.

“I’m ok. Just need you to make me feel good..” You pulled down his sweats and tossed them to the floor. His cock looked even bigger from its place in his boxers. There was a wet patch on them and as you tugged them down, you could see a few strands of pre cum break.

“You made a mess in your boxers Ki. This all cause of me?” He nodded once, back arching slightly as your hand wrapped around his cock. It was thick and had a vein on the underside. A bead of pre cum sat on his mushroom tip and you swiped over it with your thumb, causing him to gasp. You started at a slow pace, watching him squirm and whimper. “You feeling ok?”

“Fuck mmhm..so good.” He grunted, hands grabbing at his bedsheets. You smiled and laid in between his legs, licking a long stripe from base to tip. You swirled your tongue around his tip before slowly bobbing your head up and down. Kiba’s mind went blank. Your mouth was so wet and warm and so much better than what he dreamed of. “Shiit (y/n) please don’t fucking stop.” His moans got louder the faster you bobbed your head and he buried his face into his pillows to keep quiet. He felt the familiar coil and whimpered, “M’ gonna- ah fuck- gonna c-cum soon..” His hips bucked into your mouth and you groaned around him as the tip hit the back of your throat. You took him deeper and his eyes squeezed shut, hands flying to your head to keep you locked in place. He bucked his hips wildly into you, grunting and moaning into his pillow.

“God your mouth is so fucking amazing (y/n)...m’ sorry if it hurts but fuck I wanna cum down your throat s’ that okay?” He let up just for a second, sliding his cock out of your mouth and watching the spit leak from the tip to his balls. He wanted to hear you say it. You gasped a bit for air and he could see the tears in your eyes. He started to panic that he went too far and started to apologize, but you shook your head.

“Wanna make you cum…can I please?” Your voice was hoarse but needy. You wanted it just as bad as he did. He couldn’t say no if he wanted to, and god knows he didn’t want to. You slid your mouth back onto his cock and he resumed his harsh thrusts. His orgasm came before he could warn you and his eyes rolled back. His vision became spotty as thick white ropes of cum shot into your mouth. His hands dropped limply from the side of your head and he felt as if he was floating. He watched you with half lidded eyes as you swallowed his cum, licking off any drops from his cock. You grabbed a bottle of water from one of the bags and took a swig before sitting beside him. “You thirsty?” All he could do was shake his head, so you set the bottle off on his desk. Sweat glistened on his skin and you chuckled as he opened his eyes. “How’d your first blowjob feel? Good right?”

“So fuckin’ good..” He said breathlessly. He turns over and rests his head on your thigh, lazily wrapping an arm around you. He could die right now and be the happiest man in the world. The girl he’s been crushing on gave him his first kiss and the best head, and she’s letting him cuddle her? “Am I dreaming?” He mutters softly. You laugh and pat his cheek.

“That’s just the post orgasm bliss hitting.” He hummed and pressed a kiss to your thigh. He let his hand trace lazy circles on the other and you noticed his hand inch up little by little. You went to close your thighs, but Kiba gripped them tight, rolling onto his stomach and spreading them open. His mouth watered as the scent of your cunt hit his nostrils. Your panties were cute; white with a baby blue lace trim. But that’s not what he focused on. He was enamored by the wet patch in the middle. Slowly, he took off your dress, eyeing your reaction. You looked a little embarrassed, but your body was desperate to be pleased.

“Can I?”

“Please..” You mewled. He pulled down your panties, eyes widening at the strands of arousal breaking. Your cunt glistened in the rays of the afternoon sun and he spread your pussy open, watching your walls flutter in anticipation. Your clit was swollen and he gave it a tentative lick. You let out a gasp and Kiba licked a slow stripe from your hole to your clit. “Holy shit..” He kept that slow pace, letting your arousal gather on his tongue. You tasted heavenly and he wanted to savor you. He looked up at you from his place in between your thighs. You were breathing heavy, your chest rising and falling. You swallowed hard and looked down at him, your eyes blown wide with lust. He gave kitten licks to your clit and slowly slid a finger into your soaked cunt, pumping it in and out at a slow pace.

“O-oh fuck..” Your back arched slightly and Kiba watched as your toes curled. He could feel himself getting hard all over again as he licked your clit with vigor, watching the way your body squirmed. He would eat you over everyday if you asked, as long as it meant he got to see you like this. He pulled out his fingers and sucked on them, moaning at the taste. Then, he licked your pussy like a man possessed. You chanted his name like a prayer, hips bucking against his tongue. Your thighs squeezed his head and he moaned against your clit, grabbing your ass and lifting your pussy closer to his mouth.

“Ki m’ gonna cum,” You managed to say through broken moans. Your mind was hazy. It felt good, so fucking good that it felt almost illegal. No one else that you had hooked up with made you feel as good as Kiba did right now. “Please please don’t fucking stop!” Your thighs trembled as you moaned into his pillow and your brain turned to mush as your orgasm hit. Kiba slurped up as much of your arousal as he could, and when he looked up at you, you could see his lips and chin were shiny.

“You taste even better than I thought.” He muttered as he kissed your cheek. You let out a laugh and crawled out of bed to head into the bathroom. He flopped onto the bed and downed a nearby bottle of water. He watched you walk out of the bathroom, stretching your arms as you crawled into his bed. He pulled the blankets over both of your bodies and nuzzled his head in your neck. He tried not to think about the idea of you leaving him the next morning. Instead, he focused on your fingers in his hair. Your hand making shapes against the skin on his back. The way your heartbeat sounded against his ear. He held you against him as his eyes drooped shut. If this was the last time the both of you interacted with each other, he was going to savor it as much as he could.

Kiba opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the sun peeking in from the curtains. He draped his arm to the other side of the bed, half expecting to feel your skin, but was met with the cold bed sheets. He sighed as he sat up, noticing the bags of snacks were all gone. He tried not to get upset, but he couldn’t help it. You were you and he was him. You guys wouldn’t have worked out anyways, but atleast you were his first kiss. As he went to grab his sweatpants from the floor, he heard his phone buzz on his desk.

(Y/N): heyy. sorry I wasn’t able to wake up with you, but I was totally gonna be late for my next class lol. put the rest of the snacks in your pantry.

(Y/N): we should hang out soon though.

Kiba couldn’t fight his rapidly beating heart or the way the corners of his mouth twitched upward in a smile.

Kiba: you wanna hang out with me?? like in public.

(Y/N): how else am I supposed to go on a date with you.

Date?? Him? You wanted to date him?

Kiba: you wanna go out with me?

(Y/N): you did say you wanted me as your first girlfriend and I don’t hate the idea of that, but I wanna go out on some dates first. wanna get to know you

(Y/N): there’s a cafe nearby I like going to on my free days. wanna go with me this weekend?

Kiba felt embarrassed at the way he grinned. At the way he buried his face in his pillow to hide the blush. Gripping the blankets so he wouldn’t flail around like a teenage girl. Shit, you made him so happy.

In the next few months, you and Kiba grew to be inseparable. During classes, he found himself holding your hand under the desk or rubbing circles with his thumb on your thigh. He loved stay-at-home dates with you, making out on his bed surrounded by junk food or cuddling with you as he showed you his favorite anime. He got you into video games and manga, so most of your weekends consisted of going to the local bookstore and finding new things to read. In turn, you got him to be more social. You introduced him to your friends Ino and Temari and their boyfriends Choji and Shikamaru. To his surprise, he got along well with both men. There were nights when you stayed over in Kiba’s dorm and had woken up to him laughing with them as he played games on his PC.

“So what are you guys?” Shikamaru asked Kiba one evening as they smoked weed on his balcony. Kiba blew some smoke out into the sunset colored sky and smiled warmly.

“We’re dating.” Shikamaru let out a hum and nodded. He took a deep inhale of the joint and held it in before blowing it out slowly.

“She makes you happy.” He said it as a statement and Kiba nodded. “And you make her happy.”

“Yeah?”

“According to Temari, she’s never heard (Y/N) talk this much about any guy she’s been with. Hell, they usually never get to meet us because (Y/N) breaks off most relationships,” Shikamaru took a swig from the water bottle at his feet. “When her partners find out she’s loaded, they get really fuckin’ demanding.” Kiba stared out at the sky that was painted in golden yellows and somber oranges. He wasn’t surprised, but it still made him angry. You were more than just money. You were a person. A beautifully perfect person that broke him out of the shell of loneliness he’s been in for what seems like forever. “Did she tell you that she was rich?”

“Nah, but I heard it floating around from people she rejected.”

“How does that make you feel?” Shikamaru’s tone seemed questioning, like he’d do something if Kiba said the wrong thing. Kiba took a long drag of his joint and passed the last of the joint to Shikamaru.

“Pissed off cause assholes just want her for her money without actually wanting to know her.” Shikamaru blew out the smoke and nodded almost approvingly.

“M’ gonna tell you a secret,” He took another swig of his water and stared at Kiba with bloodshot eyes. “Temari told me that (Y/N) made up that whole “needing to be tutored” lie cause she couldn’t figure out how to approach you without being a nervous wreck.” Kiba chuckled, and then laughed. Shikamaru laughed along with him.

“She got nervous to talk to me? Shit, I got nervous every time she sat down next to me.”

“And now look at you dating her.”

“She’s the one I saved my first kiss for. Told her I only wanted her to have me n’ no one else,” Shikmaru stared at Kiba as he chuckled, silently feeling the effect of the joint. “And I write poetry and shit about her…cringe sappy shit..” The lovestruck look in his eyes, the soft, dreamy tone of voice, and the redness of his cheeks were all so evident to Shikamaru that it made him laugh.

“Shit dude…you’re in love with her.” Kiba paused and then chuckled, looking out at the sunset.

“Yeah…I am.”

chaos says: soo I had to divide this into two parts because it was getting insanely long😅 but part 2 is drafted so it'll be out soon after some editing. hope you guys enjoyed and stay hydrated. 💕✌🏾

#kiba inuzuka smut #kiba inuzuka x reader #naruto shippuden smut #naruto smut #naruto shippuden x reader #naruto x reader #loser versions of my faves are so cute #kiba inuzuka #kiba inuzuka fluff

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