#I'M MEAN BECAUSE I GREW UP IN NEW ENGLAND | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkeropercyjackson · 5 months

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My audhd brain won't stop telling me to do a full breakdown of the parallels between Percy and Hobie so i will.Alright,let's do this one last time!

Troubled but good kids

Afro-dominican New Yorker/Jamaican-English(NY and England are where punk first started)

Anarchists,proffessional instigators,always helping out around communities(it's implied Percy participated in Rachel's protests and charities with her)and looking out for the little guy

So they're actual punks instead of just EdgyTM douchebags because they wanna do the right thing no matter what

No masking game autistics

Trans femmes who come across as masc only to normies

Chillaxed and super kind and love cute shit and people but also have major street credit,a huge edge and strong as fuck backbones and the reason they're so kind is that their childhood was beyond brutal so as they grew up they decided to be the positive older figure in younger people's lives they didn't take to have to the point they turned into Team Dad's

The EXACT same sense of humor

Blue-coded

Alt music lovers

Expressions are always either super intimidating or meme worthy goofy

Pet supernatural dog(Spidermutt and Mrs O'Leary)

Widely regarded as the coolest ever in-universe and correctly so but they're huge dorks when you get down to it but that only makes them even cooler-They were this cool the whole time

6'something with guitarist hands and described as so attractive it's shocking

Go by a nickname instead of their full name and have a common black surname

Oldest and most experienced heroes in their main casts

Hobie's dad is a deadbeat who left him as a baby to do supernatural shit

'I'm not a role model' 'I hate the a.m,i hate the p.m,i hate labels' 'I don't believe in consistency' / 'Was i a troubled kid?Yeah,you could say that' 'I AM impertenent' 'The sea does not like to be restrained'

'Calling yourself a hero makes you self-mythologizing'Hello???????????

Gwen is the Hazel to Hobie's Percy.She's a younger trans girl with a ghost motif who's a pastel ray of sunshine and runs her mouth as much as they do and has a dead mom,an abusive corrupted figure dad and their own impressive experiences in heroism before meeting them

Nico is another teen Ghostkid who Percy gifted a Ramones shirt and gave shelter to multiple times when he was homeless because Hades/Pluto is as much of a fucking cunt as George Stacy is.Nico is also a Miles kinnie because he's an optimistic softboy who's nerdy,a fast food lover and a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for and Percy is the big brother mentor to him the fandom thinks Hobie is to Miles(Nah fr Hobie and Miles are ambigious but Percy's canonically a grown ass man and Nico's Miles' age,P*rcicos pack it up and get over that your ship only works for transfem Percy proof)

Karl=Jason(the cooler St*ve R*gers,the actual voice of reason on the team but just as unhinged as the rest of them,very nice guy vibes and Hobie's righthand),Riri=Annabeth(Black girl genius who takes no shit but is still written as a person instead of a stereotype)and Mattea=Clarisse(red-coded,rowdy tomboy and war paint)

Mayday and Margo are basically just Estelle and Rachel,Jessica makes a pretty convincing Sally and Miguel reminds me of Poseidon but especially when he's interacting with Hobie

Sarcastic troublemaker smiles i've always found endearing(Rip to Annabeth but i'm different)(Also for Hobie i mean this platonically)

Immaculate rizz that's mostly unintentional but reaches critical levels when on purpose

Cocky asf and self-loathing at the same time

That one scene of Hobie leaving Gwen a Watch with the 'In case it don't work out' note with a lil doodle of him on it after getting her dad's ass/Percy sending the Olympians Medusa's head in a box after slaying her with a note saying 'Best wishes' to spite them

Goofy ahh who are nonetheless taken seriously cause Watch Out

They even both have terrible singing voices

And technically not the same thing but Hobie's also pink-coded so they're cotton candy colors and with Percy's white streak they can be the trans flag too!!

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mercurytojupiter · 8 months

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the labyrinth - prologue

a/n: i'm going through an archie madekwe phase no one look at me

warnings: farleigh being farleigh, which includes underage drugs, drinking, cigarettes and sex 18+

fic summary: ariadne gavin and her childhood best friend turned enemy return to saltburn for the last time

Ariadne Gavin wishes she could say the first Catton she met was Felix or even Venetia. She would have loved to explain to people how she had tripped into Venetia at the airport when she first landed in England, or how she had been greeted by Felix's already tall, grinning face.

Instead, the truth was, the only reason the Cattons held their arms open to her as they did was because of Farleigh fucking Start.

Ariadne had met Farleigh when she was seven. Her father, Laurence Gavin, was a new money tech mogul who was making a name for himself selling computers. He had dragged her along to a fundraising gala, and it was there that Ariadne found herself forever enamoured with the Cattons.

Ariadne had never met another child before. Her upbringing was limited to her Nanny, Lilian, the house staff, Douglas, Marcus, and Tyrone, and her mother, Vienna. Ariadne had only even known that white people existed because of her storybooks.

"Hello," She whispers politely. "My name is Ariadne Marie Gavin."

"I'm Farleigh." The little boy shrugs.

Ariadne tilts her head. "How old are you?"

Farleigh looks at her strangely. "Seven and a half."

Ariadne pouts. "Oh. I'm just seven."

Farleigh's eyes widen in panic. "That's okay! Don't be upset! It's okay to be smaller than me! Normally I'm the smallest person."

"Youngest." Ariadne corrects.

"M'kay," Farleigh says, but makes no move to say the sentence correctly. He jumps down from his chair and squishes her cheeks. "Do you want to play hide and seek?"

"Won't the grown-ups be mad we're gone?"

"They never notice." Farleigh smiles.

That smile got Ariadne in more trouble than she could count over the next thirteen years.

At some point between seven and a half and fourteen, Farleigh stopped being her only friend. Or, more accurately, Farleigh began to make friends and it meant that Ariadne was going to be alone unless she made some of hers.

Or, that was, until Saltburn.

Ariadne didn't like the person Farleigh was becoming ever since they'd become teenagers. He'd been mean, and flaky, and worst of all, he kept hitting on her friends.

And yes, perhaps she was a little jealous, but she had always been territorial, and Farleigh was hers, not Ashley's or Jessica's. Besides, Farleigh grew like a beanstalk, and all her friends only liked him because he was tall. They didn't spend Sunday evenings conditioning his hair or laugh at his terrible -and slightly mean- jokes.

Overall, they had begun to drift a tad, but a crack was not a canyon, as her father liked to say.

But that didn't mean Farleigh wasn't still the only person her age she truly trusted, so he still came over to her house every Sunday to do homework and complain.

"Did I tell you my mom's family wants me to come to England over the summer?" He sighs, stretched out on her floor.

Ariadne has her nose tucked into her copy of Pride and Prejudice for her book report and looks up suddenly. "Excuse me?"

"I know, right? Like, why would I waste my summer-" Farleigh starts.

Ariadne shushes him. "Shut up, Far. Doesn't your mom's family pay for all your mom's shit? And yours, for that matter?"

"I mean, yeah, but they always said I'm out after eighteen." He shrugs.

Ariadne grins. "Because they don't know you. But if, say, you went to England in the summers, made connections with them, flashed some puppy dog eyes," she trails off.

Farleigh raises a brow. "You want me to go to them like some kind of homeless kid asking for spare change on Alameda Street?"

Ariadne kicks him. "No, I want you to use your brain. You're going to be my business partner once I inherit, obviously, but it's going to be obvious that we're only working together because we're friends if you don't at least have a college degree. Now, imagine, we get into some fancy British university, we network with like a billion people, and suddenly we have investors lining up at graduation."

"All it'll cost me is my pride." Farleigh grumbles.

Ariadne purses her lips. "Not if I come with. Then, it's just going to be us, two rich kids, going and being rich on a different continent over the summers."

Farleigh sits up. "I'm going to hate this, aren't I?"

"Not in the long run." Ariadne grins.

Ariadne wishes she'd never suggested going to Saltburn. She and Farleigh were one change in conversation away from escaping the Cattons and she'd never forgive herself for it.

Maybe it's the new money, manifest destiny, red-blooded American in her, but she never liked the look of Saltburn. She missed her modern, sleek home in Bel-Air, and from a single look, she knew Farleigh did too.

Saltburn was cold and ancient. There was no carpet, only million-year-old Persian rugs. No many-buttoned showers, only antiquated tubs. They didn't even have a bidet, which Ariadne thought was borderline uncivilized.

But they adjusted, slowly but surely, to the famous, trademark brand of Catton Madness that had sent his mother running for the hills all those years before.

Farleigh hadn't known that Felix and Venetia were their age, but they certainly were, and they were wilder and more English than anyone Ariadne had ever met.

She also found that they took to calling her demeaning, patronizing pet names like "Pet" or "Girlie." Farleigh got about the same treatment, only, in her opinion, worse, because there was no way to spin "Boy" or "Dog" as respectful.

Vee liked to call her "Newmo", short for "New Money" and Ariadne knew this was an insult, but bit her tongue.

She did that a lot, after Saltburn.

She starts at St. Mary Magdelene's Secondary Academy for Girls with Venetia that year, and Farleigh attends St. John's Secondary Academy for Boys with Felix. Twice a year, the adjoined schools have huge dances and dinners where they exercise their best manners.

The Gala is poorly chaperoned, as it is also the only time the faculty gets to mix and mingle. The dinner is mostly manner-based, but by the time the dance begins, most adults turn their heads away from the teenage drama and illegal activity.

When their first Fall Gala comes around, Ariadne looks around excitedly for Farleigh, peering through the crowd of white faces. She wants to tell him everything that's happened since they separated at the start of the school year.

Unfortunately, all she gets is Felix's stupid face. "Where's Farleigh?"

Felix rolls his eyes grinningly. "Smoking outside. Again."

Ariadne blinks, takes a step back, and laughs disbelievingly. Farleigh had gotten more rebellious since they'd become teenagers, sure, and maybe England was rubbing off on him, but he never smoked. "Are you kidding?"

Felix snickers. "He said you'd be pissed off."

That was another thing Ariadne hated about the Cattons. Everything was a fucking joke to them.

"No fucking shit!" She whisper-shouts. "He can't- He's going to ruin his lungs! This is my fault, I knew it was a bad idea for us to go to different schools!" She bites her lip, flicking her wrists in and out.

It was a terrible nervous tick. Lilian had always said it was unbecoming. Ariadne couldn't shake it.

Felix steadies her by the arms, charming doe eyes staring right into hers. "Farleigh will be fine, everyone smokes once in a while. Besides, he's finally letting loose, isn't that worth something?"

Ariadne wants to spit that it is not something, because Farleigh doesn't need to let loose, he needs more structure. He'd already been let loose his whole life and Ariadne had spent most of hers cleaning up the debris.

She doesn't yell at Felix, just shakes her head mutely.

"Well, maybe you need to let loose too. Vee's got weed or shrooms or something in the bathroom, go try that."

And, shockingly, Ariadne lets Felix lead her to the door of the Girl's bathroom, where a small puff of fogged-up air escapes.

"Have fun, Pet!"

He shoves her inside and lets the door swing closed.

Vee offers her a joint, grinning, and for the first time, Ariadne's thoughts cease.

After Ariadne is introduced to weed for the first time, she no longer worries about Farleigh. Still, the worst does not come until the Spring Gala, when she walks in on him losing his virginity to Arabella Vaillancourt.

All the jealousy she had felt in middle school hit a breaking point then. This wasn't flirting or even a kiss on the cheek. Arabella had claimed Farleigh in a way Ariadne would never be able to compensate for.

Ariadne turns her head away from the sight of them, sweating and naked and wholly consumed by each other and goes back to her dorm.

Vee sees her tears and offers her a line of coke, and from that point on, Ariadne and Farleigh are no longer friends or even allies.

When the summer break retrieves them again, she hardly looks at him in favour of making jokes with Venetia and walking Felix through the process of getting girls to like him. While Felix was pretty, most of the girls their age couldn't stand him because he was so boring to talk to. She pierces his eyebrow so he has something interesting to talk about. Felix is horrible at flirting, too. Not like Farleigh, she thinks, recalling the many girls he had wooed bitterly.

Soon, everyone at Saltburn forgets that Ariadne and Farleigh were ever even a pair. Or, in their respective cases, at least pretend to forget.

#saltburn smut #farleigh start x reader #farleigh start #farleigh start smut #farleigh saltburn #saltburn x reader #farleigh start x oc #farleigh start x original female character #farleigh start x black!oc #farleigh start x black!reader #black reader #poc!reader

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butch-with-a-deep-voice · 8 months

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I'm mean because I grew up in New England 🎣

#fishing town butch? fishing town butch 😌#i like these suspenders so much more than i ever thought i would #bite me #butch #two spirit #nonbinary #lesbian #sapphic

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 2 months

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I've thinking about this question… and I want to know your perspective:

At first I though British tabloids were kind of invasive and intrusive, I know Diana died in Paris, but somehow I attached it to the British media…

since this year, i´m not sure after what happened with Frederick and that woman, and how some media behave with Catherine (except for TMZ)... I´m not sure which media (Country) is more intrusive.

Given on your experience, which media/tabloide is worse that others?

You can't actually compare the media and tabloid culture that way. Or at least, I'm not comfortable comparing the cultures in that way because it leads to a really flawed analysis.

First, the tabloid culture of the '90s (which affected Diana) was incredibly different from the tabloid culture of the '00s (Kate) and incredibly different from the tabloid culture of today ('20s).

Second, the cultures between the different countries and their media enterprises is also incredibly different. What American media does isn't what British media does, which isn't what Spanish media does, which isn't what Italian or German or French media does.

In both respects, there's no established baseline standard of practice. And you need a baseline in order to set the scale to define what you mean by "worse." Because all of the examples anon cited are from very different times and from different countries, you can't really compare them to each other. So you really can't compare what Frederick went through media-wise with his affair in 2023 in Spain to what Diana went through in 1997 in France to what Kate went through in 2008 in England to what Meghan went through in 2016 in Canada. (And then you have to account for bias and familiarity; most of us only know the tabloid and media culture in the countries that we grew up in or that we're knowledgeable of. For instance, i know a lot about American tabloid culture because I'm an American and because I came of age on Perez Hilton's internet and I know quite a bit about British tabloid culture because of how long I've been a royal watcher. But I know next to nothing about tabloid culture from the '80s - beyond what I've seen in documentaries - or media from other countries.)

What can really only happen is looking within - e.g., if you look at just the tabloid culture of the '90s or of the '10s, or if you look at just the media in England or in Spain. But again, that requires even knowledge of all the countries and all the media/tabloids, rather than just the ones that you know really well.

I know this probably isn't the analysis or the answer that you were looking for, anon.

Focusing specifically on my own personal knowledge of British and American media and tabloid culture, my theory is that British tabloids and media were more viscious in the '90s. They were checked by the public after Diana's death when the backlash against mass consumption reached fever pitch with the likes of George Clooney and Tom Cruise laying the blame for her death specifically on consumers and paparazzi. So while the British tabloids were licking their wounds and trying to find a new star/celebrity to replace Diana (JFK Jr. worked for a bit but then he died), American media and tabloid culture grabbed ahold of the reigns and became the mean, viscious ones in the '00s by turning their coverage on the young female stars of Millennial Hollywood and being more critically- and gossipy-focused in their coverage. American media continued to be the meaner, viscious, "worse" ones until the mid-'10s, when the rise of social media checked them because social media, or Web 2.0 technologies/user-generated content, meant the famous people could control their own image through their own specifically and specially curated content. This is when we started to see the celebrities partnering with tabloids and paparazzi take prevalence (as opposed to the spontaneous stakeouts of known celeb hotspots) and that's where tabloid culture in the US and the UK is today - it's a partnership between the famous person and the publication or photographer.

I can't comment on Spanish media or how the tabloids contributed to Frederick's affair(s) because I know nothing about Spanish media, Danish media, and the Danish royal family.

#media #brf #tabloids

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idsb · 6 months

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I'm sorry but Homesick by Noah Kahan playing in this cafe in Melbourne Victoria Australia with the lyric, "I am mean because I grew up in New England" when I am sitting here, literally mean because I grew up in New England... all that way away.... but that song reached here.... found to be relatable enough that it's on playlists here.... is something. something something something beautiful about music and me feeling like an exploding star everywhere and nowhere all at once everything I've ever been before and all I am now collided into one moment

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fuck-you-upmusicbracket · 8 months

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It's Golden Hour Somewhere (Lovejoy)

They'll tell you this is normal, they'll tell you this is love/I'm not sure if the stuff I want is even worth the price it costs/Three cars in every garage and six seats between 'em/They'll sell you the rope by which you'll hang yourself/So tell me, is it normal to totally lose your mind?/I won't announce my sheer descent, but holy fuck, there will be signs

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HAVE YOUR HEARD IT????"

Homesick (Noah Kahan)

I would leave if only I could find a reason/I'm mean because I grew up in New England/I got dreams, but I can't make myself believe them/Spend the rest of my life with what could've been

"Small town vibes of never leaving the town you grew up in because of how trapping and cloying it is and feeling like no matter how far you go you can’t get its stench off of you and being secretly envious of those who did manage to escape and make something of themselves"

#fuck you up bracket #tournament #polls #lovejoy #noah kahan

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princelylove · 9 months

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some sbr (and phantom blood!) thoughts for you in general, your highness, if you'll take the words of this lowly peon-- i've been watching some documentaries on the gilded age recently, and a thought came up on me; how would the blorbos of the sbr and phantom blood era handle the societal expectations of the era? like, they can't really be affectionate or anything in public, so i feel like some of the pda/jealous ones would really struggle. plus, it would be inconvienent for them to talk to darling, especially because an engaged couple or even just two single people weren't really allowed to commune with eachother in private in anything other then social occasions. it's a fascinating dilemma, really, and i'd be fascinated to here about how some yanderes from this time period would handle this stuff. your ever faithful, ever loyal, ever miserable peon-- 🌸 anon

Warning for discussion of gender roles, brief homophobia mention I'm not sure if you can count it really, typical yandere things.

What a good ask, peon. When I think of the old American west, I tend to think of those old cowboy movies focusing on the wild west. What a wild three decades.

We have to consider where exactly they are in the world, and their social standing. Frilly fan language means absolutely nothing to someone who grew up on the streets- Although Dio has studied aristocratic courting rituals religiously. England and the US are different culturally, and the south is very different from the west and north.

The Gilded age takes place from 1877-1900-ish, doesn’t it? Steel Ball Run takes place right in the middle of that, starting in 1890 and ending a year later. I tend to think of the Steel Ball Run cast as living in the ‘wild west,’ which takes place generally from 1865 to 1895, so it’s perfectly lined up. Phantom Blood’s main story is in 1888, but considering it’s entirely in England, it would be considered late Victorian era rather than the Gilded age. The entire concept of a débutante is so horrifying in a yandere context. If I’m misremembering and the entire concept of presenting a young lady to society for the purpose of marrying her off is not in the late Victorian era, or any of the other information I just presented is incorrect, ignore the inaccuracy. Débutante is used in a gender neutral way here I pinky swear.

Jonathan takes the entire courting process very seriously. Not that he’s any good at formalities, but there’s an attempt. The concept of marriage being something romantic was very new in the Victorian period- but not a foreign concept to Jonathan in the slightest. He grew up with a loving family, his future spouse should be the love of his life. It was generally important to the male identity to be educated, do a sport, and be a gentleman- Jonathan fits every one of those requirements. By all means, he fits in. The only thing stopping him from never getting a second glance is how eager he is to please his darling. “It’s odd how that boy follows his darling around like a dog all day.” is a common statement from those who recognize him happily trotting down the street to go see you- that’s right. He’ll walk instead of taking a carriage. He doesn’t want the visit to feel so formal, he really just wants to spend time with you, even if you aren’t out in society yet. Jonathan thinks it’s going to help his chances of being formally introduced to you when you really become a débutante- but it is not. Gifts, flowers, attention, it all comes off as too much. He mopes a bit when his efforts are proven to be futile, but that doesn’t mean that he’s discouraged. Well, it doesn’t matter, he can always just propose. Why would your parents turn down a proposal from a Joestar, who can take care of you forever?

Erina tends to be rather shy. She sincerely prays that she’s caught your eye- and does just about everything she can think of to get it. She’s quite the stalker. Your interests are her interests! She’ll show up at any sport you play just to watch you and show you she’s right there to support you, even if she avoids directly speaking to you for quite some time. It’s improper, and she doesn’t want to come across as needy, or socially inept. She can hope, though. Maybe if she just keeps showing up in places she knows you’ll be. The best day of her life is likely the day you come to a débutante ball, assuming you’re of the same social class. She hovers quite a bit, and takes a moment to beg whatever God is out there to introduce you to her. When her wish is granted, she clings to you for the rest of the night, regardless of what is and is not appropriate.

Dio is a man obsessed with social standing. When you’re denied something for so long, it’s obvious that you’d become infatuated until you get it. Dio’s temperament is closer to obsession; Even when Dio reached his comfortable spot, he still wanted more. He actually takes courting rather seriously in his youth, he does it the proper way. He waits until you’ve been formally introduced to society, and makes his initial move. Just one dance will do. He doesn’t want to come off as desperate- Despite being at every single ball you’ve ever attended, sans one or two for his reputation’s sake. He’ll only visit your home on the proper days, always brings gorgeous, full bouquets, and leaves within forty-five minutes. He’s not about to take up your entire afternoon, but he’s not about to let another suitor talk your ear off for that long, either. Whatever hobby you’ve taken up is his greatest interest for today’s conversation. When you see him in public he’ll offer a polite smile, but nothing more. Of course, this all goes out the window when he turns, since he can just take you with absolutely no repercussions.

Johnny is always going to treat the world like it’s Danville, Kentucky. His stay in England didn’t have any effect on him development-wise, he sounds like he’s from Kentucky still, too. All that bullshit about waiting around for the chance to dance with his darling is his own personal nightmare- and it isn’t going to happen anytime soon. He has a bit of a ‘modern’ take on dating, if you could call it that. He’s not as obviously affectionate as someone like Gyro, but it’s not like there’s a lack of it. He’ll hold his darling’s hand while you wait in line, he’ll whine until you sit with him on his horse, he can’t sleep unless you’re right there… Johnny’s pretty forward, regardless of what society deems is fine. He’s a good boy, especially in his prime- there’s no reason for your family to not like him. If your family isn’t accepting of him… he doesn’t really want their blessing, anyway.

Gyro has adapted fairly well to life in America, but not when it comes to the culture shock of not being able to cling to his darling constantly. Whether or not his explanation of how being overly affectionate is the norm back home is true is up for debate. He loves to hang on his darling- putting his head on top of yours while you try to talk to some poor stranger is one of his preferred pastimes. Gyro does plan on returning home eventually, but he has some things to do here before he can- one of those things being finding a way to take you back with him. Gyro’s not really put off by getting told to stop, truly, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to get in the way of him and his darling? Don’t be stupid. Gyro will listen to his darling’s request to not have as much pda if you genuinely compromise with him. No pda, but full access to you in privacy? Cool, cool, we’re never going out again. Gyro gets his fill in little ways, he wants to at least hold hands, or be able to put his hand on your waist. You’re seriously denying him what he needs because it isn’t “socially acceptable”?? You’re being ridiculous. Gyro won’t humor silly courting rules because it’s what you’re used to, he’s right here, you’re right here, if the only thing between you is some traditions, then Gyro has nothing in his way.

Firstly, Hotpants does not really acknowledge societal norms. She’s taking on the “man’s” role in the relationship anyway, so if her darling is feminine, it could pass as a “typical” relationship, as long as she’s presenting herself in a masculine way. She gets weird looks when she goes to get dinner for the two of you- she catches, you cook. People often try to haggle her when she needs to buy new gear, it’s annoying. It’s actually a giant pain in the ass for her, but it’s worth it if it’s to provide for you. Hotpants isn’t really interested in the whole courting process, she’s very quick to snatch her darling up and lock them somewhere safe, even if you're not sure who she is. You can play housespouse for her while she takes care of what she needs to, you’re being given the easy life, is it really that bad? She’s not even forcing you to be affectionate with her- just stay put and listen to what she tells you to do. You can even write to your family, if you want, just know that she’s going to skim it over to make sure it’s appropriate. You’ll even have some time alone while she goes out for the day- interrupted by the sound of her boots and the sight of her jacket hung up by the door. When you are eventually let out- Likely to transport you somewhere else, I cannot see Hotpants letting her darling back out again- she’s a bit cold, but firm. If you can be trusted to sit still, she’ll let you ride her horse while she guides it. If you cannot, she’ll ride with you, arms around your sides.

#I love you Miss Hotpants.#hotpants ♡♡♡#♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡#request granted #yandere jonathan joestar #yandere erina pendleton #yandere dio #yandere johnny joestar #yandere gyro zeppeli #yandere hotpants #🌸 anon

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mrhaitch · 2 months

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It’s interesting that your tumblr description/bio as well as your wife’s words towards you, show that you are sensitive. The way you type is very formal and it almost seems like your emotional sensitivity is veiled under your serious tone (Haitch herself seems to have a much more outwardly bubbly and giggly persona). If you want to, can you elaborate on the nature of your emotional sensitivity? I’m very curious about how you feel the world and what your thoughts are on humanity, as well as what you think defines emotional sensitivity. I do currently believe that many of the best people in the world are sensitive and introspective, and of course “best” is subjective, but ykwim.

Hm - that's a lot to unpack.

The formal tone you've identified is something between a deliberate and a necessary choice - I'm a big believer in clarity, with all things, so I write in a style that's aimed at getting my point across with as little loss of meaning and intent as I can manage.

Sensitivity is a tricky subject, especially when it comes to male emotional sensitivity - as it's not typically encouraged, and is more typically subject to criticism and ridicule.

I'll speak to my own experiences and how I see things - rather than get lost in unhelpful generalisations. Where and when I grew up in England, there were a lot of conflicting expectations towards young boys: be gentle, be forgiving, be kind, but also be tough, robust, assertive. The old and the new slamming together creating these kind of Frankenstein personalities in a lot of the boys I grew up with: capable of switching from one extreme to the other, and feeling nothing but a kind of fragile vulnerability because of it. Vulnerability isn't particularly encouraged for boys, so it leaves them feeling like they need to go on the attack: they become aggressive, vengeful, sometimes paranoid.

This is something I've struggled with myself, pretty much my whole life. From the outside, asking men to be strong and kind might seem like a natural fit - two pieces that fit well together - but in the cultural language I grew up in these are two fundamentally opposed things: a protector is violent, distant, assertive and kindness is peaceful, close, and submissive. You can recognise that's, rationally speaking, nonsense but our respective cultural languages are persistent and powerful and sometimes near impossible to remove.

As such my 'sensitivity' is hard won. I think I referenced a Brother Ali lyric a while back along the lines of 'you can face your devils and slay them, but if you've grown harder by days end then they won't which gets the point across. I'd also say Patrick Ness' Chaos Walking trilogy articulates the point perfectly: male sensitivity and emotional availability is a political act. It's an act of resistance towards a culture that wants you to perpetuate extant cycles of abuse and violence, to pick up the master's tools.

As for the rest: my fundamental belief is that everyone is trying to do the best they can with what they have. Some people don't have a lot to start with, and other people have mistaken ideas about what the right thing to do is - but everyone is trying to be the 'good guy', if you want to be plain about it. I find accepting that helps me understand a great deal, especially when dealing with gigantic, seemingly irredeemable bastards.

#mr.haitch #mr haitch #mrhaitch #pseudowho #mrhaitch answers you too

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