#I'M NOT CAUGHT UP YET BUT I AM IN FACT SOB

[thatfreshi]

He's Not Sick, Is He? (Astarion x reader)

I had this thought the other day, and am interested to explore it. The way Astarion describes how he feels after Cazador's death as 'numb,' I have a feeling he would slip into a bout of depression for a while after, unsure of what to do now, unsure of what his purpose is now that Cazador is gone. Might make a resolved part two of this.

tw - ed behaviors, self-harm, gore, drinking

Recommended Song: Swingin Party - Lorde

You and Astarion stayed at a nearby inn the weeks after Cazador's demise. The innkeeper let the two of you stay as long as you needed, as a way of saying thanks for dealing with one of the worst vermin in the city. With everything handled, the Absolute gone, the mind flayers off your minds, there was nothing left to do. You remember that evening, when you two stumbled into the inn room, feeling as if your bodies were going to fall apart. Astarion though, he felt it in a way that was indescribable. He expected there to be this weight off his shoulders, for the air to suddenly feel clearer, and yet there was nothing.

When you sat on the edge of the bed to start taking off your blood-stained clothes, he simply went to the washroom without a word, practically slamming the door. You were no stranger to the occasional vampiric hissy-fit, but this was far from that. The energy he was radiating, it hurt, got caught in your throat like choking on tears.

As soon as the door closed, he tried to hold back tears. He was alone now, but if he wasn't careful you'd hear him, crying like a baby after doing the only thing he's ever wanted to. Who frees themselves and sobs about it? No, he shouldn't feel this way, not empty and pathetic. Instead of trying to wash up, Astarion simply slipped back against the door, and sat there in whatever this feeling was. You choose not to disturb him, sure that he just needs some time to himself. You fall asleep eventually. He doesn't come to bed for hours.

The next day, you wake up before him, quite the odd occurrence. You decide not to wake him, knowing he's exhausted. He deserves some restful sleep. But his sleep is in fact not restful. It's light, serving almost no purpose. His mind is still far too active, never truly drifting into anything peaceful. Your shuffling around the room wakes him quite easily. When you hear him move around in the sheets, you turn quickly.

"I'm sorry my love, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's alright."

He says nothing else, and you move to sit on the bed as he lies there.

"How are you feeling?"

Astarion isn't quite sure how to respond. It feels like there's this void in his chest, perhaps his entire torso. Usually he would love waking up to you, make some quip about how gorgeous you are despite the bedhead, but nothing comes.

"Tired."

Odd. He only has to sleep for a couple of hours, and yet he's tired? You brush it off, thinking that perhaps it just wasn't good sleep.

"That's alright. Do you need anything? A drink?"

"No, I think I'm just going to sit here a while longer."

He's barely moved since he awoke.

"Aster, you haven't had any blood since the day before Cazador's. You need something, especially after all of that energy you used up."

The vampire turns in the sheets, looking away from you, wrapping himself in the blanket.

"I'll be alright."

"Nonsense, you need-"

"I'm fine. Just tired, that's all Tav."

His words wound you, but you try not to take it personally.

"Alright. I'll give you some space."

Steps out the door, the light closing of the entrance. Astarion still in the sheets, wearing the same blood-covered clothes from yesterday. He begins to weep again, waiting just long enough that he knows you've gone downstairs.

You're met with the rest of your companions downstairs, who are all glad to see you.

"Well well, if it isn't Tav. Is the vampiric hero of the realm joining us for breakfast?"

Gale is in quite a good mood, happy to be alive and well.

"No he... he just needs to rest a little longer."

You sound unsure of yourself, but they don't question it. You understand Astarion better than any of them, and yet you were stumped by his behavior. He's never been this short with you.

"I don't blame him. I barely got up this morning as well."

Shadowheart smiles, drinking a fresh cup of tea.

"Well, now that we're all freed of the Absolute and our other various problems, where are we all headed?"

Karlach has been waiting for this moment, excited to start living a life outside of the terror that was the cultists. The group all starts talking about how they'll probably stay in the city, just in case Baldur's Gate ever needs them again. Gale talks about how he'll have to move everything from his tower in Waterdeep, and many of your companions offer to help with the move.

"What about you and Astarion? I'm sure you two lovebirds have some big plans now that he's free."

Of course, Karlach meant it kindly, but you were stumped. What would the two of you do now?

"We haven't really had time to talk about it. I'm sure we'll come up with something soon."

She thankfully takes the answer at face value. After a hour or so of chatting, you take your leave, heading back to your room. You softly knock, letting Astarion know you're coming in. He hasn't moved, but he hasn't slept either. You don't say anything, instead you move to lie next to him, wrapping your arms around him. Usually your touch is electrifying, so welcome, but he can barely feel it. Your soft fingers, the embrace of your arms, your breath on his shoulder, it all means nothing. Why does it mean nothing?

"You really should feed soon Astarion."

He says nothing, simply wondering if he'll feel like this forever. Was it a final curse that Cazador bestowed?

"I... I don't feel like it. I don't really feel like doing anything."

"I know my love, but you at least need some blood."

"It can wait. Maybe tomorrow."

Tomorrow comes, and the day after, and many days after that. The two of you stay at the inn, barely having spoken about anything. You try to insist to your friends that he's sick, which wouldn't be entirely incorrect.

"Should I come see him?"

"No, no need Shadowheart. It's just a bad cold, it'll pass soon enough."

One by one, your companions make their way out of the inn, and Gale is the last one to stay. One evening, you're at the bar downstairs, and Gale comes to drink with you.

"This seat taken?"

"No, just me."

You take a long swig of whatever the barkeep poured in your cup. He situates himself on the stool beside you, motioning for a glass a wine.

"Tav... he's not sick, is he?"

You shake for a moment, tears start forming. It takes all of your energy to speak a single word.

"No."

Silence.

"No he... he's barely done anything since we got back. We barely talk. He hasn't had any blood Gale I- I'm really scared."

He takes a somber sip of his wine.

"I know you care about his privacy, understandably, but why wouldn't you tell us?"

You try to take another sip of your drink, but shake too much.

"Because I'm afraid it's my fault. That maybe by stopping the ritual, I somehow did this to him."

Gale takes one of your shaking hands. You're not used to warm touch.

"You didn't do anything wrong. We both know he would've become a monster if he went through with that godforsaken ritual. Have you considered that he's just feeling a little lost? After all, this is all he's wanted for centuries, to see his master fall."

You try to dry your tears.

"Yes, of course, I knew he'd be emotional... but this? I've never seen him like this.

"It will pass Tav, you just have to be there for him."

"How am I supposed to be there for him when he barely even talks to me? I keep trying, trying to tell him that it's alright, that I'm here, but it doesn't help. He won't even drink from me."

"Perhaps there's nothing you can do. He might just need time."

You manage to finish your drink.

"What if he never gets better?'

Gale doesn't meet your eyes, taking yet another sip.

"I know I'm the optimist amongst us, but we just have to hope. All we can do is hope."

You order another drink, and the two of you drink in silence for a while, until eventually he retires to his room.

"I leave for Waterdeep tomorrow, to go get my things, but I'll be back soon enough. Send a pigeon if you need me?"

You nod, a somber smile on your face.

"Thank you Gale. Best of luck in your travels."

You stay frozen at the bar for a while, not wanting to go back to the room, not wanting to face your lover fading away. He refuses to leave, even when your companions left the inn, he refused to say goodbye. When you do decide to come back, you softly knock, as always. He's strewn about in the sheets, reading some tome he's read a million times before. You come sit on the floor by the edge of the bed. He doesn't seem to notice you at first, eyes moving slowly across words he already knows. Just something to do, something easy, something that doesn't make his body feel like a bag of bricks when he thinks about it.

"Do you think you're ready to feed yet?"

Astarion simply shakes his head.

"Please my love, please. I know it's hard right now, but please just try."

"I don't know, I just... I don't think I can."

You sigh, holding back tears, streams still wet on your face from the bar. Instead of pleading with him, you grab a nearby bottle and your knife, taking them both to the washroom. You slice clean down your arm, wincing at the pain of the blade. You haven't sharpened it in a while, leaving jagged lines down your forearm. He hears you, but can't bring himself to say anything, simply feeling guilty. You take the mouth of the bottle to your arm, letting the blood drip into the glass. It burns, you didn't even think of cleaning the blade beforehand. You let it bleed though, until the bottle is full. You grit your teeth as you clean the wound, wrapping it in some spare bandage, fully knowing it will leave an ugly scar. When you leave the washroom, you put the bottle on the nightstand nearest to Astarion.

"There. For whenever you're ready."

And with that, you leave again, slowly closing the door, your arm throbbing in pain. He looks at the bottle, knowing what you've done, and he tears up again, something he hasn't managed to do in front of you all this time. You're frustrated, and you don't know with who, but it makes you sick to your stomach. It's as if the life has been drained from him, like he'll never be the same. You leave the inn, and walk for a long time, wasting the hours of the night crying as you drift to wherever. You get a few odd looks, but no one dares stop to ask why you're crying in the middle of the street this late. At some point, your feet stop carrying you, and you sit against the rock in some alley, hugging your knees, fully sobbing into the fabric of your pants. You're scared, scared to go back, scared to see the bottle still full on the table. For a moment, just a moment, you think what would happen if you left him there, if you disappeared. Guilt overwhelms you, causing the tears to fall faster. No, you have to go back, but not now. Not now, but soon. You silently hope soon doesn't come too fast, and you feel horrible for it. But for now, you have a couple hours in this dark alley, a couple hours before you feel the need to check on him again. And you begin sobbing again, knowing that nothing will have changed when dawn comes.

[disneyprincemuke]

you called * cl16

you called, so he came.

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings: none.

notes: well, now i'm in the mood to write this bc i just found out my ex-boyfriend now has a girlfriend so i aM PULLING THIS OUT FROM THE DEEPEST PART OF MY SADNESS AND GUT

(i quit drinking) // (to forget you) // (you called)

charles wasn't actually going to come. when you called him, you were slurring and stumbling over your words about how you wanted to see him. he told you it wasn't a great idea until you started full-out sobbing on the phone about how much you missed him.

it was then shortly cut to max scolding you in the background. something about how he already told you not to call charles, but you still did. then max took the phone from you and told him off sternly that he better not show up.

yet, here you are in the passenger seat of his car, buckling your seatbelt on.

carmen was more than shocked to see him at max's front door, but max blew his head off when he walked by and caught a glimpse of him.

but you managed to convince him to let you go, promising the man that you would send him a text message when you got back to your hotel.

"thank you for coming," you say barely above a whisper. your eyes are set on straight the car parked in front of his.

he sees your thumbs fumbling with one another. "of course," he answers, "you called."

you turn your head to the window, completely away from him. being in this car only brought back so many memories. you're a lot more sober than you were about 20 minutes ago, after you'd puked in the toilet after a quick sob.

being in this car gave you flashbacks to when you'd be driving around on the way to parties or the bar with the grid boys. it was in this car that he'd driven you around monte-carlo for your first date, ending up by the bay into a private yacht for dinner.

“but why?” you turn back to him, your doe eyes piercing into his. they’re slightly red from the crying, your makeup has been taken off (courtesy of max after you cried and puked), and your lips swollen. “why did you come?”

charles can’t find it in himself to start driving. he turns his head, avoiding your gaze. “i wanted to come see you.” and very softly, he adds, “i missed you.”

you freeze. you were expecting numerous types of responses but him admitting that he missed you was not one of them.

“what?” there's an expression on your face that he cannot fathom at all.

"i said i missed you," he says slower. though, with most of your relationship spent in the presence of alcohol, he knows pretty well that you're not even drunk anymore. you're just using it as an excuse,.

you stare at him, mouth gaping wordlessly at him. you scoff audibly and click your tongue. "you miss me?" you shriek, eyebrows furrowing at his confession. “you miss me? are you fucking serious right now, charles?”

“yeah?” he raises an eyebrow, genuinely not knowing how to respond to you.

"charles, we broke up." there's a sadness in your eye that made his chest ache. he knows very well that you did, in fact, break up.

"why are you saying that like it was a one-sided thing? you also agreed it's better off we just part ways." charles' growing frustration is very evident on his face, and it's still clear to you. "i didn't break up with you."

you still know when he's slowly getting irritated, or which expressions told you what's on his mind.

"because i saw you!" you throw your head back, running your hands through your hair as you tug on them roughly. "i watched you distance yourself from me, charles! the way you withdrew in the last couple of days we spent together, and apart. you called lesser, you stopped inviting me to your parties with friends, and you couldn't even look me in the eye anymore."

charles had no idea that this was what went through your mind. to him, he stopped inviting you to parties because he valued the fact that you hated waking up in the morning with a hangover. you had mentioned that it made getting up so much harder.

he started calling you lesser when you were apart because he was just simply busy. but, he did send you messages that he thought were enough to reassure you of the state of your fresh relationship.

not being able to look you in the eye had a simple explanation - he's fallen in love with you and has been afraid to admit it. after you spent a week apart busy with different projects and workload, he had picked you up from the airport for a race weekend and he felt it in his chest. he was just afraid to say it out loud for the fear that you would be too overwhelmed.

"that's not true." charles shakes his head. he turns his body away from you, looking ahead.

"then what's the truth?" you probe, lifting your shoulders to edge him for an answer. there is no way that you spent your days sulking over a man who missed you but never reached out.

but who are you to speak? you didn't either.

charles opens his mouth but quickly closes it. he shakes his head again. he contemplates the risk of saying it to you. you'd called him drunk, not expecting him to even pick up; it should be his turn to risk his feelings and possible embarrassment.

"i got scared," he says slowly, turning his head to look at you, "because i realised i love you. but i was just so scared to tell you. don't ask me why. i wanted to have you without the alcohol, that's why i didn't ask you out anymore."

"you can't just lie your way out of this, charles!" you scold with the roll of your eyes.

he rolls his eyes, finally starting up the car for a drive. "i'm going to drive you home now."

"yeah, maybe you should." you fold your arms over your chest and turn your head towards the window. your hotel isn't far, but it's quite a drive.

charles didn't even have the time to turn some music on, so you had sat in his car together in silence. the sound of the engine is the only thing that occupies the deafening stillness in the air.

you'd spent days locking yourself away, the thoughts of charles hopping on to someone else eating hours of your day away, taking up most of your breath as you'd sit on the floor crying with your cat in your arms.

to the point your mother had to remind you that charles is just a boy.

"do you mean it?" you break the silence as he turns into the lobby of the hotel. your eyes are glued to the window still with tears filling it to the brim.

you hear him sigh then shift in his seat. "of course, i do. i spent every waking moment of the past 6 weeks thinking of you and missing you. i hated every second i spent without you," he rambles. he takes a deep breath as the car comes to a slow stop. "i should have called you. i'm sorry."

you press your lips together. you turn to face him, but his stare is right ahead as he chews on the inside of his cheek. "i didn't think you liked me without the alcohol. i'm not as fun without it."

charles turns quickly to face you, instinctively grabbing your hands into his. "don't even say that," he pouts his lips out, "you are an even better person without it. please don't say that."

you close your eyes, knowing you might regret the decision in the morning. you open them and meet his blue eyes, a small smile stretching your lips.

what's the worst that could happen? if he meant his words, everything should be alright.

"do you want to have some coffee upstairs?"

you see relief wash over his face. with a deep breath, he exhales, his body melts into his car seat. he leans his head on his headrest. "as long as you promise me there's no alcohol."

[aishangotome]

Elbert Greetia: Chapter 1

The sound of lapping waves fills the quiet room where I pierce a butterfly's back with a needle.

––Another beautiful thing acquired.

I gaze, as if in prayer, at the vivid scales of the butterfly, its wings spread wide within a frame.

With this, surely, the "two of us" can be happy.

Surely, surely––

-

One night and then another has passed since I witnessed a sight I shouldn't have in midnight London.

Though I escaped death by fulfilling my duty as a "Fairytale Keeper," time has passed without any sense of reality, and once again, I find myself in the darkness of night.

––I am about to accompany Crown on a mission for the first time.

-

Roger: Is the inn around the next corner the one in question?

Alfons: According to the information we received beforehand, yes.

Elbert: .......

Roger, Alfons, and Lord Elbert---

I was walking through London, shrouded in night, with my three companions.

Kate: A certain inn is being used as a temporary storage for stolen art... right?

As a "Fairytale Keeper," my role is to closely observe the actions of Crown, who is "cursed," and record their sins.

(I want to fulfill my duties properly, gain their trust, and be released.)

(My heart hasn't caught up yet... but I have to try.)

Roger: Lil lady, don't be so stiff.

Alfons: We're just going to investigate the situation, so there won't be any bloodshed.

... I'm sure of it.

Elbert: ..........

Kate: Thank you for your concern, Roger, Alfons.

(That's right... if my job is to record the sins of the "cursed," I need to know about their "curse.")

Kate: May I ask what kind of "curse" you all have...?

Alfons: Hehe, Miss Robin is quite the eager learner.

Alfons: Lord Elbert is the "Greedy Queen," Roger is the "Betrayer's Huntsman," and I am cursed by the "Mirror."

Kate: Queen, Huntsman, Mirror...

Alfons: Is it fate that those who appear in the same fairy tale should meet?

Roger: Haha. Team Snow White, eh?

Alfons: I find it very unpleasant to be lumped in with you.

Roger: Don't say that. Right, lil lady?

Kate: A-ahaha. Yes...

The two of them speak to me in a friendly manner.

I'm grateful for their kindness, but I can't help but force a smile.

(It's a fact that these people commit sins on a daily basis...)

(No matter what, I'm scared to look them in the eye and talk)

Elbert: ...What's wrong?

Kate: ...Huh?

Elbert: You stopped walking.

Lord Elbert's words made me realize that I had unknowingly created distance between myself and the others.

Except for Lord Elbert, who stopped for me, the other two kept walking ahead.

Elbert: ...Are you alright?

Kate: I'm sorry, I was spacing out...! I was lost in thought.

Elbert: I see. ...Be careful not to get lost.

Just as I was about to start walking again--

Elbert: ....!

A passerby bumped into Elbert.

Drunk Man: Hmm? What's this? A pretty boy, huh?

The man, barely able to stand upright, was clearly drunk.

Elbert: ........

Drunk Man: Let's have a drink, pretty boy. Your treat. Hahahaha!

Elbert: ...I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry.

Drunk Man: Oh? What's this? You wanna get that pretty face messed up?

Elbert was surprisingly unresisting as the drunk man clung to him.

(Something seems rather ominous...should I call Roger and Alfons back?)

Kate: U-Um...!

The next moment, anxiety and questions swirled in my head.

Drunk Man: Ugh...sob...why did you leave me...Eliza...sob...

Kate: ...Huh?

The man who was clinging to Elbert suddenly collapsed on the spot, crying.

(Why all of a sudden...?)

Alfons: What a ridiculous ability, as always.

Alfons, who had somehow turned back, approached Elbert and laughed, looking highly amused.

Kate: A ridiculous ability...you mean, Lord Elbert's?

Alfons: Yes. It awakens the saddest memories of the person whose shadow he steps on.

Alfons: In other words, it makes the person incredibly depressed and downcast.

Roger: The ability works better on people with painful experiences, but the difficulty lies in choosing the right target.

Kate: Downcast...

I stared at the man who still couldn't stand up, just crying on the roadside like a child.

(This is Lord Elbert's power.)

Having just witnessed William's devastating power that could force people to commit suicide, it seemed like a very small power.

But--.

Elbert: ...I'm in a hurry. ...I'm sorry.

Elbert, who had used that seemingly trivial power on the drunk man, looked sad, as if he had committed some cruel sin.

(...That's a bit unexpected.)

(I wonder if the cursed people aren't used to using their powers either.)

Elbert: ...Let's go.

As we passed each other, Elbert's hair gleamed under the streetlights.

I was unconsciously captivated by his golden hair flowing in the night breeze and his melancholic profile.

(...What a beautiful person.)

His beauty was so overwhelming that I momentarily forgot the fear I had for the upcoming mission.

Alfons: Now, it was the alley ahead, wasn't it? The inn we were aiming for.

Elbert: Yes.

It was Roger who tilted his head, looking at the dimly lit alley.

Roger: Something's strange. It should have been a cheap inn with quite a few guests.

Roger: ...There's only one heartbeat.

Kate: A heartbeat...?

Even if I strain my ears, all I can hear is the faint sound of the wind.

Alfons: Exceptional hearing is this man's ability.

Roger: Within a distance of about 100 yards, I can accurately tell who is where without even looking.

Kate: That's amazing... But does that mean there's only one person at the inn?

Roger: Well, that's what it comes down to.

Kate: How could that be...?

Alfons: There's only one way to find out.

As we turned the corner into the alley where the back entrance of the inn was located--

(...!!)

--a gruesome scene unfolded before us.

Several blood-soaked people were lying in the alley.

A vast expanse of blood stretched across the hallway, visible through the open back door of the inn.

Kate: ...Ah--

My instincts were screaming at me to run away.

But my feet were frozen in place, as if glued to the ground.

At that moment--

I was pulled back forcefully, and the blood-stained scene vanished.

Kate: ...!?

My cheek was pressed against a soft, high-quality fabric.

(A blue cravat.)

Kate: Lord Elbert...?

I finally realized Elbert was holding me and tried to look up, but his hand was stronger, restraining my movement.

Elbert: ––You don't need to see.

(Huh...?)

Elbert: ...Sad memories can easily kill you.

Elbert: You don't need to see.

A terribly sad voice whispered in my ear.

Elbert: You...have nothing to do with what's happening here.

Elbert: ...You don't have to carry burdens that you don't need to.

(Elbert...)

His voice was almost like a prayer.

I should be feeling protected by his arms, holding my head tightly, but for some reason, I felt like I was being clung to, and I hesitated to resist.

(Elbert...it's as if he's afraid of something.)

Roger: This is...the inn's employee and a guest.

Alfons: Judging by their clothes, there's no mistake.

As I listened to the two of them surveying the scene, still held in Elbert's embrace--

???: ...Ugh...sob...

(! A voice just now...!)

Roger's words, "There's only one heartbeat," came back to me.

Kate: E-Excuse me...!

Elbert: ....!

I instinctively pushed back against Elbert's chest and looked up.

As I glanced around, I could see a woman collapsed at the corner of the alley, faintly moving.

(It's her...!)

Kate: Are you alright...!?

Roger: She's not dead yet, but she's in danger.

Roger, who had rushed to her before me, frowned and coughed.

Roger: She needs immediate treatment. We need to get her to a nearby hospital--

Roger: .....!

Kate: Roger? What's wrong?

Roger: The police are coming. Two...no, three of them.

(Police...?)

Alfons: Then, there's no point in staying here. Let's get out of here.

(What!? )

Kate: What about this woman--?

Roger: Our mission is confidential. We have no choice but to hide for now.

Seeing his frustrated profile, I knew Roger didn't want this either, and I swallowed my protest.

(But what if the police don't notice her...?)

I quickly took out my handkerchief and hooked it onto the lamp directly above her.

(This shouldn't be enough to identify me. I hope they notice her soon...)

Praying for her safety, I followed the three of them into hiding.

-

After observing from a short distance for a while--

We saw the woman from earlier being quickly taken away by the police who had arrived.

Kate: ...Thank goodness...

(...I hope she's alright.)

Elbert: ..............

-

--That day's investigation had to be cut short, and we returned to the castle.

But I couldn't eat the food brought to my room, nor could I sleep...

To change my mood, I was walking alone in the vast garden.

(Tonight, I only witnessed the aftermath of someone committing a crime.)

(But someday, I might see such a scene created by the hands of Crown.)

(To write about that... Can I do it?)

While thinking about such things, I was walking along the path--

(...Elbert?)

I found Elbert, gazing absentmindedly at the flowers.

Bathed in the faint moonlight like a veil, his figure was like a painting, and I was once again captivated.

Elbert: Hmm...oh...it's you. Good evening.

Kate: Good evening, Lord Elbert...

Elbert seemed to sense something from my face and tilted his head melancholically.

Elbert: ...Can't sleep?

Kate: ...Yes. So I'm taking a walk to change my mood.

Elbert: I see...

Kate: What are you doing here, Lord Elbert?

Elbert: Me too...something like that. I'm a light sleeper by nature.

Kate: I see...

Elbert: So...I can at least keep you company while you can't sleep.

Kate: .......!

His gentle, comforting words eased my mind.

(If it were last night, I might have been wary of this kindness and declined...)

Kate: ...Thank you.

Aware of my fading wariness, I took a step closer to Elbert.

(That's right...I haven't properly thanked him for earlier.)

Kate: Thank you for protecting me earlier.

Elbert: ...No. ...In the end, I showed you a cruel sight.

Kate: I wanted to see it. Don't worry about it.

I tried to sound cheerful, but Elbert looked at me and narrowed his eyes as if in pain.

Elbert: If you hadn't been taken to that place...you wouldn't have tried to see it.

Elbert: You're different from us. ...You shouldn't have come here.

Elbert: ...Sin doesn't suit you.

Elbert's emotions don't show much on the surface. Even so...

In his eyes, like the depths of a deep sea, I could see pure compassion, without a trace of cloudiness.

(You are the one who doesn't suit sin.)

At that time--

Even though there were no knives or bullets pointed at me, and there was no danger to my life, he tried to protect me.

(Surely...so that my heart wouldn't be hurt by the cruel sight.)

(The strength of his arms at that time.)

(It was as if he was afraid of me getting hurt.)

(If he were someone who felt nothing about that scene, he surely wouldn't have done that.)

I realized again the obvious fact that the people of Crown, just like me, feel fear, anxiety, and sadness.

Kate: You're kind, Lord Elbert.

Elbert: ...That's not true.

To value people's feelings. That was my goal in life.

(I chose the job of a mail carrier for that reason.)

(No matter what sins Elbert and the others may commit, I want to understand their feelings and--)

Kate: ...Thank you for your concern.

Kate: But this time, you don't have to protect me.

Elbert: ...Why?

Kate: I may learn many things that I'd be happier not knowing.

Kate: But I want to know...what you all are thinking, as you face those things.

I smiled, wanting to respond to Elbert's kindness in some way--

Elbert: .............

Elbert stared at me without blinking.

(...?)

His gaze was unusually intense, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

(Oh...was it rude of me to say "you don't have to protect me" when he's worried about me?)

His already overwhelming beauty seemed to become even more intimidating when he fell silent, and I unconsciously held my breath.

Kate: Um...

Elbert: ...Stay still.

Suddenly closing the distance between us, Elbert gently stroked my hair.

Elbert: ...There was a flower petal in your hair.

Kate: ...Oh.

Kate: Thank you...

(...I see. He was just looking at the flower petal.)

(That's good...)

Calming my racing heart, I quietly moved away from Elbert.

Kate: Well then, excuse me. I should get some sleep for tomorrow.

Elbert: .........Can you sleep?

Kate: Yes, thanks to you, Lord Elbert.

Elbert: I see...that's good.

Elbert: ...Good night, Kate.

Kate: Good night, Lord Elbert.

(...I wonder why.)

(I can't get Elbert's gaze from earlier out of my head...)

His deep blue eyes were burned into the back of my eyelids.

Even after I turned away, it felt like his gaze was following me from behind--

My chest felt strangely uneasy.

-

The next morning, my steps towards the dining hall were lighter than yesterday.

Kate: Good morning.

William: Good morning. ...You look well this morning.

Roger: See? She came, didn't she?

Alfons: I guess I lost the bet.

Kate: W-Were you betting on that...?

Alfons: Yes. I bet that you would be tearing up curtains and tying them together to escape through the window by now.

(He thought I'd be escaping...)

Liam: This morning, we have Victor's special extra buttery scones! Kate, are you hungry?

Kate: Yes! I missed dinner yesterday, so I'm starving.

Alfons: Hehe, you're surprisingly resilient.

(I'm still a little nervous...but I think I can manage.)

This morning, after deciding to face their feelings, I was able to look at everyone's faces more directly than yesterday.

As I started eating, talking with everyone, Elbert stared at me intently.

Elbert: ...Al, is she beautiful?

Alfons: No, not at all?

Elbert: ..............Is that so?

Alfons: ...........

Alfons: This could be a bit...troublesome.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 2

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[acourtofmarvels]

Comfort - Cassian Pt.2

Part 1

Warnings: none. cuteness overload :D

*35 years later*

"Cassian can you please take your feet off the table? We eat there." I smacked his leg and took a seat beside him to eat lunch.

He groaned and obeyed, putting his feet on the ground. "Gimme a bite." He pointed to the sandwich I had just made. I haven't even taken a bite of it yet.

"You just ate like, 3 minutes ago." I took a bite of my sandwich, glaring at him. I swear he is always hungry.

"Yours looks better than mine," he whined like a child.

I looked over at Azriel who was sitting across from us. He'd already finished his lunch and was reading a book at the table.

"Azriel did you not give the dog a treat after lunch?" Azriel lifted his eyes from his book, humor in them.

"That was rude," Cassian replied.

"Let the girl eat her lunch in peace," Azriel defended me, going back to his book.

I stuck my tongue out at Cassian and then took another bite of my sandwich. He was glaring at me but I could see the mischief behind his glare. I'm in trouble.

"Ask the house to-" I stopped my sentence. The air grew cold and eerie. Still, everything went so very still.

Azriel and Cassian felt it too, sitting up straight in their chairs. Something was different. We could all feel it.

There was a thud from the balcony. As if something jumped onto it, or someone landed on it.

Azriel and Cassian stood up simultaneously, grabbing their weapons. Their siphons glowing as they listened around.

Who the hell just landed at the House of Wind? No one can get up here unless they have wings. The Illyrians wouldn't dare to step foot up here. It can't be Mor, she's suppose to be in the Hewn City all day.

Azriel's shadows swirled around him, informing him of whatever just entered our house. My heart plummeted as I saw the color drain from Azriel's face.

"What's wrong? Who's here?" I shot to my feet. I was almost tempted to grab one of the daggers at Cassian's hip. If Azriel was scared then-

"I was expecting some open arms, not swords and daggers."

I don't think I ever turned around so quickly in my life.

Rhysand. Rhys. My brother. He's home. He's here, he's alive.

My knees buckled and I would have fallen to the ground if Cassian had not caught me.

My hand covered my mouth, silencing the sob that escaped me, tears poured out my eyes.

I beat Cassian and Azriel to him first, wrapping my arms around his neck so tightly. I held on for life, afraid this was a dream and the second I let go he would be gone. But I could feel him, smell him. He's here, home.

His arms stay wrapped around me as I placed my hands on his face, looking him over.

"Are you hurt?" I didn't dare ask if he was okay. How could he ever be okay from what ever torture she put him through?

"I'm alright," he replied. No signs of injury or bruises. But he was so very pale. Years away from sunlight would do that to you.

"I can't believe you are here." I wiped the tears from his cheeks, he did the same to me.

I wrapped my arms around him once more, kissing the top of his head a few times.

I didn't want to let him go but I know Azriel and Cassian would want their time with him.

The second I stepped from his embrace Cassian replaced me, literally picking Rhys off the floor and spinning him around.

"If you do not put me down I cannot promise that I will not puke on you," Rhys's laugh sent warmth through my body. I never thought I'd hear that again.

It didn't feel real. The days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and the fact that Rhys was here still felt like a dream.

Amarantha was dead. Feyre saved us all, Rhys's mate. Rhys's mate... He has a mate. Who's marrying someone else. He showed us her. Showed us all she did. His face lit up telling us the story about her killing the wyrm.

It's been 3 months and I am savoring every last bit of it.

***

"You're different, sister." Rhys stared at me from across the room. He sat at his desk as I lounged in the chair in his bedroom. We did this often. This was where we always had our deep talks or hashed things out if we were upset. He would do work at his desk and I would occupy my time in the chair by reading or writing. 

"I'm happy. You're finally home." I looked up from the hat I was knitting, another thing I picked up in the 50 years he was gone. 

The smile faded off his face as he looked down at his hands. "Mor told me..."

"Whatever she told you, is in the past. Everything is good, now you're home. I'm good, I promise." Though I looked away from him I could feel the guilt in him from across the room. "Enough with the sadness, please."

"Fine, you don't want to talk about it. I'll respect that. Is there anything you do want to talk about?" His voice was hinting. There's no way he knows. We haven't.... well not since he got back. That was my decision. 

"Like what?" I didn't dare look up at him.

"Hey, you guys down for Rita's tonight?" Gods his timing was the worse. Of course Cassian had to come in and interrupt now.

Rhys and I made eye contact. He had a stupid smirk on his face. He knew... How did he know?

"Cass, please join us. We were actually just about to have a chat." Rhys pointed to his bed for Cassian to take a seat. 

Cassian went to take a seat, completely oblivious to the situation. "No, leave." He froze in his spot, looking at Rhys and me confused.

"Cassian, take a seat. As your High Lord, I order you." I could smack that stupid smug smile off his face.

"You can't do that." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. Pulling this High Lord card... I should smack him up side the head.

"Can and just did, sit."

Cassian took and seat and glanced between at Rhysand and I, who were having a stare off. 

"Cassian..." Rhys began, now looking at him. Cassian was trying to play it cool but I noticed the sweat beginning to form on his forehead. My heart was racing a hundred miles an hour, no doubt my brother could hear it too. "Are you sleeping with my sister?"

"Oh my gods, really Rhys?" I shot up from my seat. I felt the lie on my tongue, "Cassian and I are not-"

"We're together, yes. We have been for a while now. We take care of each other, watch out for one another. You can be mad at me, beat the shit out of me but I don't give a fuck." Cassian stood back up, no longer looking at Rhys but now me. "400 years I have loved her. 35 years I have been utterly, hopelessly in love with her."

Silence all around. I was shocked he admitted that right away. I mean we were caught, it was gonna be hard to lie to him. Cassian was standing up for us and here I was gawking like a complete idiot.

"Cassian and I are mates," I admitted to my brother nervously, but proudly. "I am madly in love with him. We wish to be mated and married but only with your permission."

That smirk had faded from my brothers face the minute Cassian spoke. His face was blank of emotion and he was silent for a while.

"This is not what I was expecting." He spoke. He crossed his arms over his chest. He looked mad but he was silent again for a while. "Fine. You have my blessing. But I'm still kicking your ass for hitting on my sister." He stood up a punched Cassian in the shoulder and then came and wrapped his arms around me which automatically relaxed me.

He placed his hands on either sides of my face, forcing me to stare into his eyes. The eyes we shared from our father. 

Are you sure? He spoke to me in my mind. My shields were down for him the second he wrapped his arms around me.

I nodded and replied to only him, I've never experienced this type of happiness before.

His face softened as a single tear rolled down my face, and he wiped it away. He was always the one to wipe away my tears. He placed a kiss on my forehead and pulled away.

"Just don't show it around me," he shivered and I rolled my eyes.

"Rhys I'd like to request some time off work," Cassian said with a smirk, looking me up and down.

"I hate this already. Get out of my face." He waved us off.

Cassian held his hand out to me which I gladly took as we ran out of Rhys's room. The second we were out of earshot, to spare Rhys, Cassian's hands and lips were all over me.

"I'm never waiting that long ever again. It was pure torture not to kiss you, to hold you, to touch you," Cassian growled in my ear. 

"I know, I'm sorry." I brought his lips back to mine. "Never again."

"Are we doing this?" He whispered, out of breath.

"Meet me at the cabin in an hour." I stepped out of reach from him, a big smile on my face.

"An hour?" He groaned. 

"One hour and then... you'll have me for eternity." I stepped forward and kissed his lips once more, in a slow and achingly long kiss. "I love you. One hour." Then I winnowed away. 

A/N cute little ending :) hope you guys liked it!

Masterlist

[strawberryys-stuff]

FOOLED || Ao'nung x Sully!reader

part 2 | part 1

change of plans; i'll have to write yet another part for this request bcs i realized i can't write lmao 🥲 i forgot how to do it, so i apologize for this never-ending wait i'm putting u through

enjoy my poor try to write!

Ao'nung could tell the image of the breathtakingly stunning healer was clouding your mind and found your abrupt bursts of frustration whenever she waved at him with a toothy grin decorating her sparkling turquoise skin quite humorous, attractive even.

Mireya was certainly a beauty among the Metkayina tribe but she was fragile. Your sharp glares and silent growls damaged the unguarded shield around her gracious heart, which forced her feet to carry her sobbing frame inside Ao'nung's marui pod every evening. Despite his warnings and frequent eye rolls, Mireya continued to visit the boy who was clearly becoming irritated by her unannounced appearances outside his home.

He was desperately trying to peel her hands off his muscular arms everytime you were passing by with your sisters, allowing his thick tail to show his annoyance. He would gift you precisely wrapped presents almost every week to reveal his tiny attempts to court you - it started with shimmering seashells that eventually turned into luminescent bouquets - but it was never enough for Mireya as she continued to follow him around like a lost puppy.

Ao'nung wanted your undying love, not hers. He even mentioned it to you during your nightly strolls along the shore, stating that he would rather suffer in solitude than experience mating with Mireya, who basically owned his mother's blessing.

Ronal wished only the best for her firstborn and saw rich, successful future in the Metkayina girl. And the fact that you managed to build an unbreakable bond with Ao'nung in such a short period of time was something she just refused to accept. The idea of seeing Ao'nung with a hybrid, someone who had pure demon blood flowing through their veins, disgusted her.

She observed the way her son seemed to be left breathless everytime you walked away from his tall figure after a polite farewell, which often ended up with Ao'nung chuckling and firing some teasing words after your swiftly moving body. She even caught the way her son spoke highly of you during every dinner, lunch, breakfast - you name it.

She noticed how affectionate her eldest child was whenever he had you by his side, how protective he was over you - she noticed how you were able to handle his childish behavior with ease, no evident struggle present, and yet, she still refused to accept your relationship.

"I am not having this type of conversation, mother." Ao'nung pinched the bridge of his scrunched nose, silencing his growl in deepest part of his throat before it managed to roll off his obnoxiously bold tongue.

He was standing in front of you, shielding your defeated spirit from his stern mother with his lean body. His other hand was keeping you close alongside his tail that robbed you of any escape. Ronal was holding her chin high to display her disapproval once more, but all she received from her firstborn was a disappointed sigh.

Ao'nung brought your intertwined fingers up and proudly pulled you out from his cold shadow. Your drastically different form entered the afternoon sunbeams and blinded Ronal for a split second. Your thin tail was flickering nervously behind you as she inspected the position you were in.

It was awfully obvious what happened during the unusually uneventful eclipse last night, she could sense the abrupt change in the middle of her ribcage - you were officially sharing a neural connection with her son.

The woman began to circle the two of you with a creased forehead and allowed her fingers to wrap around the base of your tail. You hissed through clenched teeth when she left a painful tug behind before her hand moved to your tense shoulders. She spotted a bite mark in the crook of your neck, stifling a snarl.

"Not fully mated." She slapped your precisely knitted braid aside and received a warning growl from your lover. "Just marked," Ronal taunted with a huff, quickly placing one of her hands over her growing belly when your tail twitched her way. "Disappointing."

"That is enough." Ao'nung bared his fangs at the pregnant woman as his hand pushed you forward to create some space between you and his mother. You licked your chapped lips and let your ears fall, trying to ignore her harsh words about your mixed blood and the title people had been using to address you and your younger brother for several years. "She is not an outcast, mom! Quit listing her differences, for Eywa's sake! She is a fucking Metkayina now, accept it!"

"Her rites of passage are unfinished," Ronal reminded her son with a click of her tongue, ignoring his usage of the inappropriate language. "She is not one of us-"

"-yet." Ao'nung interrupted her upcoming remark with a growl and temporarily released your hand to point to his mother's rapidly beating heart. "As for now, I need you to respect my partner - whether you like it or not."

Before the spiritual leader could interject, your furious mate captured your hand once again and dragged you away from the cold-hearted woman, muttering an apology to his younger sister who had to witness the conflict. You bowed to Tsireya quickly and followed Ao'nung out of center of the lively village with flattened ears.

part 3 coming soon! i'm so sorry 😭

[frostbitemutt]

some Jack marston hcs? Low honor more specifically 👀

Oh dear. But, Yes. Yes I will. This is low honor. Don't expect anything less than awful 💀.

Yandere! Low honor! Jack Marston hcs

Warnings: gender neutral darling, yandere trope, forced "relationship", obsession, stalking, harassment, unwanted crude flirting, perverted comments, non-consensual kissing and touching mentioned (nothing explicit), breaking and entering, kidnapping, violence, murder, sadism

Main traits:

|perverted/possessive/violent/sadistic|

✘ John Jack Marston Jr. Better to just call him Jack. A raunchy 19 year old trying to imitate his less than a saint father. On track to being an outlaw... yeah.. you're pretty fucked. He's an absolute little shithead.

✘ I'm going to assume you're a local townsfolk, maybe a store clerk, farmer, or maybe you're just his neighbor. You'll know when you've caught his eye. He makes it more than clear. Hounding you around town. Cat-calling you.

✘ His comments are perverted "They tell me I'm at my sexual peak sweetheart..", "Come on, just one kiss.", "are you are aroused as I am?".. and other comments. Very much to your dismay. Dosen't matter your gender. The perversion dosen't stop at words. If you don't have your curtains shut.. you may have to deal with a peeping Tom. His hands wander where they shouldn't, attempting to grab at you, pull you in close enough for him to kiss.

✘ He's possessive of you. You're not in a relationship. Hell you're not even friendly with him. You're definitely less than that. He still feels you're his regardless of the fact you hate his ass. No other man or woman needs to be looking or touching up on you. That's his job. Not theirs. He won't stand by and let someone else harrass you either. To him it's only okay when he does it. Hypocrite. Threatening, dueling, and shooting people left and right.

✘ Just like his daddy, he's violent. Wouldn't John be proud? Probably not. I already mentioned him shooting randos down. Your friends? They're found with a ludicrous amount of bullet holes. Lover? Yeah their head got blow clean off with a shotgun, sorry. You ain't off the hook either. He'll tackle you to the ground and manhandle you in a fit of anger. He'll shout real loud too. Sudden and explosive is how his temper runs.

✘ Sadism is something that shines through a bit in Jack. Now he's not going out of his way to harm or hit you most of the time, unless he's feeling petty. Maybe he'll give you a mildly harsh kick to your side. However that dosent mean he isn't at all. Your tears, your screams, your sobs, and your insults...make him feel all funny inside as he'd put it. Yuck. He'll laugh and snort at you most of the time. Mocking you and your fear. Maybe even make some pig noises at you to add some salt to the wound.

✘ You swear, you wake up at least once a week to a weird noise in your home. Window or door suddenly cracked open, not even cracked, more like wide open. Yet you can't find no one. Oh, yeah, mutiple items go missing too. Lots of clothes. Toothbrush. Notebooks if you got any. Were there always boot prints in your carpet? Your bed feel oddly warm? Nope. It was Jack. Who else.

✘ Escape is certainly.. difficult when he goes to kidnap you. He abuses the fuck out of his lasso. Running away on foot? Lasso. On horse? Get the fuck over here. Lasso. Move more than 30 feet from him? Lasso. That point he's doing it cause he thinks it's funny. Unfortunate for you. Not to downplay the fear that comes with it. Thinking you're free, only to be yanked off your horse and hogtied to the back of his.

✘ It's all much worse when he has you isolated, in his home. No police you can snitch to, bystanders to chase him off, or neighbors of yours to questioning him snooping about. He's dosen't bother restraining himself, he was barely before. Sloppily kissing you, hands grasping wherever he can, shoving you against the nearest solid surface. It's vile.

✘ You'll have to endure more of his tantrums than ever. Grumbling when you refuse to talk to him, because why would you want to? Pouting and stomping his foot when you push him away from you. Going on rants when you won't stop crying. His mood changes day from day. Luckily after a bit you might be able to read his face and tell when he's about to to blow a fuse. You can brace yourself for his delusional complaining.

✘ Don't loose all hope. Escape is possible. Now I'm not going to say Jack's stupid, he isn't. However we're still talking about a 19 year old. (I'm almost 19 I can throw shade). He doesn't have a plethora experience like his dad or an older outlaw. He's a new adult on a violent power trip. If he leaves the house, check the locks, he might have forgotten one. Try to knock him unconscious in his sleep or.. more permanent if you're absolutely certain you can. That's the more risky option. If you can act well enough, you can possibly convince him to let you outside with him. If he does? Book it.

[jake-s-azaleea]

How I lost you (1/2)

2 parts story

Pairing: Jake X MC

Context: the aftermath of episode 10

Warnings: Blood, cursing;

part 2 here- how I found you

Your hands shook as you fumbled for the keys, tears blurring your vision. With a heart heavy with fear, you stumbled out of the house, with steps unsteady. Trembling, you got into your car, the engine starting with a loud roar that echoed her inner turmoil. As you drove through the darkened streets, the only destination in your mind was your friends' town, the one's name you couldn't even pronounce without your heart aching. The journey was a silent one, the only sound the rhythmic hum of the engine and the occasional sniffle as you tried to compose yourself.

"Welcome to Duskwood"

The phone call between you and the chief of police ended when the mine exploded as Hannah's reaction was burning in your mind.

Richy... As much as you were troubled and furious at him, nothing could have prepared you for what happened.

'Adios'

You shed a tear.

'And I care about you, MC'

Another one.

'MC removed Richy from the group'

You lost count.

Your eyes were now waterfalls, and your mind was drowning in this course of events. Were you really glad it's over? Did you felt accomplished by the fact that you now knew the truth?

The answer was obvious.

The sky darkened, heavy clouds looming ominously overhead. Suddenly, the first droplets of rain began to fall, tapping lightly on the windowpanes before intensifying into a steady downpour. The sound of rain hitting the ground grew louder, creating a soothing yet melancholic melody that matched your turbulent emotions.

You parked in front of the police station. And covering your head with your head you ran inside. There were 5 faces you could recognize anywhere, and next to them, a face that looked so familiar, but you knew you didn't met her before. So she is Hannah.

Jessy ran straight into your arms, burying her face into your neck, whispering thousands of "I'm sorry" as she sobbed.

"It's alright, Jessy. Everything it's going to be alright"

"No, no, no it's not!" she said as she lifted her head. "Richy is gone!" she whined. "And last time I checked, he isn't the only one who was in the mine when it explode. So stop trying to make me feel better when he and Jake could be dead"

You remained silent. It was your turn to mutter an "I am sorry", but as you did, you realised how right she was and how helpless you were in that moment.

Thomas was holding Hannah tight.

"MC, I have no words to express how grateful I am for your sacrifices you have done to help us, Thank you."

You look over to Dan, sitting in the wheelchair, who was for the first time since you met him, quiet. He looked troubled.

Cleo has made her way next to Jessy and whispered you a "Thank you" as she closed her droopy red eyes.

Lilly walked up to you and pulled you aside.

"What happened to him?" she gulped.

"I don't know, Lilly. I want to go there, but first I need to speak to Alan."

"And tell him what? 'Oh I know the FBI is there and some police officers but I need to find the hacker'. You can't do that. Plus, there are three possible options. One, he got caught, which we would've found out if it was true, two, the fire, which I don't even want to discuss, and three, he escaped in time."

"I am not willing to explore the first two options. I..." you started.

"It's okay, MC. Maybe something about your last conversation could hint about his next step."

The memories flooded your mind: 'I love you, MC'.

"I am going to be back tomorrow morning."

"What? Where in the world are you going?" Lilly asked, knowing already the answer.

"To do what I had to do from the begging. I shouldn't have let Jake go there alone. I have time to fix this."

Lilly just nodded to you. She was the kind of person who'd normally stop you before you could even finish that sentence. But the tiredness in her eyes reflected that she didn't want to lose her brother now.

You left the station in a heartbeat and headed into the forest not giving the idea a second thought.

You stepped cautiously into the dense forest, the trees towering overhead. The air was cool and filled with the earthy scent of moss and pine. Each step on the soft bed of fallen leaves echoed through the quiet woods, creating a sense of solitude and mystery. As you ventured deeper, the sounds of nature enveloped you—the rustle of leaves, the chirping of birds, and the distant gurgle of a hidden stream. The forest seemed to hold its breath, as if waiting to reveal its secrets to the brave soul who dared to explore its depths.

As you went deeper into the forest, your foot suddenly caught on something, causing you to trip and stumble. Startled, you looked back to find a burnt black hoodie filled with holes, next to a mask.

'That just be Jake's...'

Your eyes welled up with tears once more, your heart pounding with fear and confusion. You ran deeper into the forest, each step echoing in the eerie silence that enveloped you. Suddenly, you stumbled and fell into a pool of blood, the metallic scent overwhelming your senses. Exhausted and overwhelmed, you just layed there, the crimson liquid seeping into the ground beneath you, as darkness slowly claimed your consciousness.

"MC!"

Trying to keep yourself awake, you raise your head watching a mysterious figure emerging from the shadows of forest.

"Richy..?"

"You made it here finally, glad to see you"

You look around yourself again to see if it was just a nightmare but the thick substance beneath you makes itself present.

"MC, you have to understand that I am sorry. Even if you did came to the Grimrock waterfall, I wouldn't have hurt you." he cried holding his gunshot wound that was bleeding without stopping.

"I wanted to make things again fine but I screwed up so bad, right? Like when the TT jerks opened up their..." he spoke half jokingly.

"But your little friend was there. I trapped Jake with me when I set the mine on fire so I had to make something, ah" he whimpers in pain.

"Richy your wound-"

"And I did. I escorted him out. He even wanted to take me with him but I refused, and I" he grunted. "I am sorry."

"No, there is still time, Richy. I-I can call for help, Alan will be there within minutes, I promise" you stated now with teary eyes.

"You've tried to handle all of this by yourself for too long, MC. It's time for you to" he winced. "To move on."

You started sobbing as he would make himself more comfortable on the ground. The metallic smell of blood enveloped you, as your friend was taking his lasts breaths.

Your eyes widened in surprise as you looked back and saw a group of men from the FBI emerging from the shadows of the forest. Their stern expressions and professional demeanor added an air of authority to the already tense situation. The presence of the FBI raised more questions than answers, leaving you to make a quick decision.

"Leave" Richy cried. "Find Jake before they do."

You nod to Richy and get up, now stained with blood and tears. As you start running deeper in the forest you heard a fainted 'Adios'.

With trembling lips you whispered to yourself you're going to make this worth it. It would be a matter of time until the FBI's dogs would track you down so you had to run without looking back. And you did.

After a few minutes that felt like hours, you collapsed on the ground but felt a hand on your back.

"MC, what the hell are you doing here?"

You look up to see a black haired man, who's face looked so familiar despite never meeting him before.

"Jake.."

[1800-page-not-found]

Another Lifetime | Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

I caught up with the manga and I think I'm going insane.

I was gonna make him a yandere but i switched up in the middle lol

ig i write for jujutsu kaisen now to yippie

Yall ever have those fucked up dreams of having a child or taking care of them only to wake up and realize your child doesn't exist, and will never exist?

If you do, then you can understand how Gojo acts in this story.

If you don't...just imagine how it feels to lose the closest person or animal to you, and for the entire world ignore the fact that you lost them and expects you to pretend they never existed in the first place. Something like that.

Something is wrong. Very wrong. You can feel it in your bones. Everything's the same, but different.

This... Gojo Satoru is not your Satoru.

What had happened that day? If only you were there to witness it. It was the first time you heard that the Gojo Satoru had fainted.

When he wakes up, he smiles, like his usual cheery self. But something's different. There's a hint of grief.

Everyone else seems to think he's fine. But perhaps its because they don't know him how you know him.

But now, do you even know him?

Day by day, he starts to stick less and less to his morals. He feels empty, a terrifying attribute for a man deemed the strongest. You just hope this Gojo Satoru will stay on the 'good' side.

Or maybe you never knew him at all.

Maybe, he held a facade, even in front of you. Maybe he was that broken this whole time. You wonder what happened that day.

But that's the past. Now...You wondered if you would survive today. It was no longer comforting, being alone with...Gojo was now a frightening experience.

"[name]." He smiled at you, yet it felt cold. Cruel. Evil.

"Yes, Gojo?" You answer back. He pauses.

"...You no longer call me Satoru." He is very close to you. It's suffocating.

"I thought you'd like to be called more formally." His smile drops. It's eerily silent, his eye pierce into you, seemingly tearing you apart until nothing is left.

"I see. Well! That's not what I really wanted to tell you!" And just like that, Gojo is happy. You can no longer tell if he means it or not.

"I escaped! That day-I was set free." He's spouting nonsense again. What does that mean?

"[name]." He grabs your wrist tightly. "are you afraid? Do you not like...the real me?"

The real him?

"Gojo, what nonsense are you spouting. Of course I like you." He smiles again.

"Just wanted to make sure. ⁱ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ⁱ'ᵐ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᶜʳᵃᶻʸ."

You exchange a few more sentences, and part ways. As you walk away, you can feel his eyes boring into your back, looking into your soul.

It's chilling. Gojo isn't smiling. Blood...Blood everywhere. Is this the day humanity ends?

"Gojo! What are you doing!?" You shout at him.

He turns around to face you. "Ah! [name]!" A smile that could only be perceived in nightmares appears on his face. "I got rid of them. They were going to hurt our family!"

You freeze.

He sees your reaction, and only grins in response.

"That day, I died. I really died. I couldn't use reversed curse technique. It was scary. 'How am I here then?' you might wonder."

He looks deranged, hysterical.

"It wasn't Jujutsu. A whole entire third world opened up." His face contorts to agony. "I lived a whole entire new life [name]! Free from curses, free from Jujutsu! We got married! We had a child, [name], a child! I was so happy-and, and-" He sounds crazy. He grips his hair, almost to the verge of pulling it out. "in a single moment-it all disappeared when I somehow came back to life."

--------

I...had a child? No, no, this is just him trying to get into your head!

--------

"It's not real."

"BUT IT IS, [NAME]. OUR DAUGHTER-SHE WAS REAL. ⁱ⁻ⁱ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵐʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ…" He mumbles the last part. He crumbles to the ground, a sobbing mess.

This man...he is your Satoru. Just...broken.

But...if it's your Satoru, then you can accept it.

"Satoru..." You bend down. You're... crying.

He looks up at you, eyes red. "ʸᵒᵘ⁻ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃˡˡᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ ᵇʸ ᵐʸ ᶠⁱʳˢᵗ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ…" His voice is weak.

"I'm sorry." You pull him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry I couldn't accept you and comfort being at your lowest point."

The two of you hug for a long time, until Satoru pulls out a glass orb of sorts which glows a faint gold color. "Satoru?...What...What is this?"

"My baby...Our baby. I can bring her back, [name]."

But nothing's ever free in this cursed world.

"What price...must be paid?..."

He starts to sniffle, and breaks out into tears again. "I have to kill people [name]. I hate this. I hate this so much."

You pause. "How many?..."

"A thousand lives."

It honestly wasn't a hard decision. You hold your daughter's soul securely, then standing up.

"[n-name]?" Satoru looks up at you, wiping his tears away, just as yours start to pour.

"Satoru. From this day on, I will become a curse user. I'll take the blame. You have never hurt an innocent person, and I will have claimed a thousand lives. One day we'll meet again. Let me do this for you, please."

--------

It was terrible. Satoru knew that one day, your fate's would intertwine again. And on that day, you'd take your last breath.

"Under Jujutsu Regulations, t-the curse user known as [n-name]-he choked out a sob-[l. name] must be executed."

It was the first time after the day you left him, that he had cried again.

You didn't put up a fight. You smiled as blood poured out of your mouth. You held a piece of paper in your hand when you died.

It read:

I ᴅɪᴅ ɪᴛ, Sᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ. Fʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴀs ʀᴇʙᴏʀɴ, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴜɴᴄᴏɴᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ʟᴏᴠᴇ. [ᴅ. ɴᴀᴍᴇ] ɪs ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ ɢɪʀʟ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʟɪꜰᴇᴛɪᴍᴇ.

I ᴏɴʟʏ ᴡɪsʜ I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ.

Sᴛᴀʏ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ɢɪʀʟ. I ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴛs.

⁻Yᴏᴜʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴʟʏ [ɴᴀᴍᴇ].

He cried for hours, holding your dead body. You named her the same name you had given her in his other lifetime. He...never told you what you named her.

--------

"Daddy!" A girl shouts gleefully as she gets pushed forward on a swing.

"Wheeee! Isn't this fun, darling?" Satoru pushes his daughter carefully.

"Very! Hehe!" The little girl giggles.

--------

Satoru opened his eyes as he awakened on a grassy field. 'I fell asleep...where am I?' He looks around to see a faint figure on a hill, painting.

Walking closer, he sees, it's you. It's...you?... "[n-name]?"

He runs and hugs you so tight, you think you'd have died again from his hug.

"I can't stay long Satoru but... I wanted to check up on you. How is [d. name]?"

He smiled. "She's turning seven next month! She's also inherited your cursed technique."

"That's lovely. I'm so proud of you Satoru."

"Of course! I'm not the strongest sorcerer for nothing! It makes me the best father!"

You two talked for what seemed to be like an eternity.

"I have to go now, Satoru." You smiled softly.

"I know name. I love you. [l. name] [d. name.] loves you a lot too. She's never forgotten about you or what you look like, and I intend to keep it that way."

Your eyes widen in surprise. He gave her your last name.

"Goodbye. I love you, Satoru." You whispered as you faded away.

[whochromatic]

I must not read chapter 109 and wait for the chapters to pile up.. I must not read chapter 109 and wait for the chapters to pile up.. I must...

*reads it anyways*

Why did I do that. Damnit, I should've known that reading that chapter would have re-activated my need for more. I was way better off ignoring anything related to Yohaji and just went about my day, not thinking about Yohaji every minute of the hour of the day of the week. But the damage has been done. Now I have to read the whole manga all over again just to satisfy myself once again. But no. That's not enough. I searched every corner to hunt every single content of Yohaji. Tumblr. Twitter. Youtube. Tiktok. Ao3. Our lord and savior Canada's account. The giver of reason in life, one who resurrects the dead, the sailor uniform to my life, Tanamai-sensei's account. I know that the Yohaji content in this world is not enough and will NEVER be. The moment I discovered this manga, I knew that it would be my life. The fact that it had only reached me last year, ber month is unforgivable. Why did it not have content as many as the amount of numbers there are to exist so that it could reach me at the start of it's existence? It should have been Yohaji. Not BNHA! Nothing against that anime by the way. Well, I am grateful that I stumbled upon Yohaji while it had 100+ chapters though. And the fandom being small enough to only have nice and cool people in it. But those fics in ao3 though? Why- I mean, I don't really care or pay attention to them but the fact that the amount of nsfw fanfics is probably (I'm saying probably because they might just be more) equal to the amount of sfw fanfics in there is- I swear, WHY ARE THERE SO LITTLE FANFICS OF YOHAJI?! 3 PAGES?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? There might be more in other places but I only read in ao3 and Tumblr if I find some there. I'm so thankful for the translators though!!! I love y'all. I love the fandom. I love the characters. I love Yohaji. I love the creator. God- sorry I forgot I can't use sensei's name in vain. I'm telling y'all, Tanamai is the GOAT. A GENIUS!! Your brain is beautiful. What goes on in head yours? Tell and everyone might gain more braincells. What's with you? What's with your humor?? What's with your lore?! WHAT'S WITH YOUR ART??? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?! SENSEI WHEN I CATCH YOU OHH WHEN I CATCH YOU. But of course, it's not your fault that I'm starving for more Yohaji chapters. One month is nothing to me- IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CREATE THIS WONDERFUL AND HEAVENLY HOOK THAT CAUGHT ME EVEN ONLY WITH IT'S TITLE AND ART?? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEE?!?! Senseiiiiii*sob* waaaaaahh... Still, I'm sooo happy this is getting an anime this year!! I've been waiting for this ever since I found out it existed along with other Yohaji fans. I knew it would happen soon enough because it's the law. It's a crime to not make an adaption of amazing yet weird yet amazing manga like no other. Death row. DEATH ROW!! It's fine even if it's low quality. As long as it exists, I can finally pass on peacefully- when it airs it better be as good as the manga and look immaculate, I'm telling you. Haha, just kidding. Or am I..? I cannot wait until April or whatever how long it takes for the anime to air just please. Please even the trailer only. But I'm sure everyone is already working hard to make the anime for it. Do your best!! You're doing the right thing! And.... uhm.. 24 episodes... please..? AHHH HARUAKI'S SMILEEE!!! IT'S INVADING MY MIND!! GET OUT! PLEASE GET OUT!!! THIS LOWLY UNGRATEFUL UNDESERVING WORSE THAN DUST BUZZ BUZZ KILLABLE STUPID MORTAL ABOMINATION CAN'T HANDLE OR DESERVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I can't do this. More. More. More Yohaji. I NEED IT. IF AIR AND SAILOR UNIFORM IS LIFE THEN SO IS YOHAJI!! RAAAAAAAHHH

Also I accidentally deleted a longer version of this and rewrote it with my memory. Thanks for wasting your time on this like I did.

[the-baby-storyteller]

self harm tw, conditioned whumpee, fear of punishment

"I was just," Whumpee sniffed, shoulders curled inwards, "I was just trying to be good."

Caretaker's face spasmed in pain. They rushed down to Whumpee and held their shoulders. They felt Whumpee flinch.

"No Whumpee, you are good. You're-," Caretaker paused, huffing. Dealing with Whumpee was an ordeal that had them walking on eggshells. "You're not good or bad. You're not a possession or an animal. You don't have to be good or bad." They ducked their face down to try to meet Whumpee's eyes, but Whumpee steadily avoided them. Caretaker sighed. "You're just you. Nothing you do can be bad."

Whumpee refused to meet their eyes, shaking anxiously.

"N-No, please Caretaker- Master-"

"Enough of that, Whumpee." Caretaker quickly cut off, standing. Maybe it was brusque, but they would not have Whumpee talking like that anymore.

Whumpee gave a light cringe and abruptly shut up. They looked like they wanted to cry but were holding it in.

Probably for fear of punishment, Caretaker dragged a hand down their face.

"Whumpee," they said, tone lighter this time and coming back down to Whumpee's level. They didn't touch them, seeing their fear, but made a point to try and get in their field of view. Whumpee was adamantly avoiding looking at them, though, and would turn every time they caught a glimpse of Caretaker.

That's fine, Caretaker convinced themself, as long as they listen to me.

"I am not your Master, no one is, and I don't want you calling me that. I do not have any control over you." Caretaker stated firmly.

Whumpee looked on edge yet almost forlorn at the same time, a wild, lost look appearing on their face. To Caretaker's surprise, they turned sharply to Caretaker. They looked like they wanted to say something, to refute, but Caretaker continued before they could begin.

"And, I don't want you hurting yourself. I know you think you were being good," They said quickly, "and I'm not angry at you or going to hurt you, but there is no harm happening in this house and that includes you doing it to yourself. Even if you think you deserved punishment."

Whumpee stared at them, confused, eyes filled with unshed tears.

"B-But Master," They stammered.

"Ah-," Caretaker countered, "No master remember?"

Whumpee flinched and reeled back.

"C-Caretaker," Whumpee muttered quietly. "I-I can't." They whimpered and bit their lip, quivering and looking down.

"If I can't do that, then I cant be good for you," they whispered, "And if I can't be good for you then I-I- please-"

"Whumpee, Shhh," Caretaker pulled their arms around Whumpee, pulling them in. "It's okay, shh." They started to rock Whumpee lightly as they sobbed and shook into their arm. They could feel Whumpee's tenseness, as if they still couldn't justify being in Caretaker's arms but didn't want to pull away. "You don't have to be good for anyone. I don't want you harming yourself. That won't make me happy."

Whumpee looked up then, eyes wide and glistening with tears. "It won't?" They asked.

"No Whumpee, it won't" It does the opposite, in fact, Caretaker thought.

"Then, what would?" Whumpee asked, staring up at Caretaker with the giant saucers they had for eyes and reminding Caretaker distinctly of an owl.

They chuckled, wiping Whumpee's tears with their finger, watching Whumpee squeeze their eyes shut adorably as they did so.

"The only thing I want is for you to be safe and happy. Not as a test or a trick. You don't have to try to appease me. Just, truly."

They stared down and Whumpee blinked, not understanding. They would in due time; Caretaker was set on it.

"It's okay sweetheart," Caretaker continued their rocking and started patting Whumpee's head, "Just stay here and calm down."

[sadlilghostt]

HOLD ME TIGHT PLEASE, PUDDING

Kenma Kozume x Fem!reader

WARNINGS : Panick attacks, mentions of self harm

Genre : romance

Summary : Kenma is Y/N's boyfriend since the first year of high school, and when kenma came to visit at Y/N's place, he found his beloved kitten having a break down on her room.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

The sound of my heart pounding in my chest is the only thing I hear, the sound of my agony I'm trying to hide, the lump of my throat that is literally heavy and it's making harder for me to hold back my sobs.

I don't know why I am like this, why am I like this? I was happy earlier, I thought everything was going well. How did it turned out like this? Why am I feeling like this?

A train of thoughts ran miles and miles to my mind, the more I think, the more heavy my chest gets. It hurts so much.

It hurt so much that I started to hit my chest, clawing it to, desperate to breath. It hurts... So so much. Someone please... I begged.

Everything was to much to the point that I was scratching my neck and arms leaving marks all over it and also a specks of blood starts to show on it.

Just then, I felt someone embrace me. Taking me into their arms, embracing me so warmly and gently. I felt the person held my hands preventing me from injuring myself any further. The person was rocking out body back and forth as if they were consoling a crying baby.

" shhhh.. It's ok kitten, I'm here, your pudding is here, it's ok my love.. I'm here.. " they hushed. Pudding? Wait I know that name.. Who was it? Where have I known them.

" look at me baby, look at me. " I felt the person grabbed my chin gently making me look at them, there I was met with such beautiful cat-eyes with Hazel Hues.. Wait I know these eyes. Oh these eyes held such adoration and Warmness.. And care in them. Oh I could just stare at them for hours.

" that's it, good girl, now beat her with me honey, breathe me.. That's it. " they then held me closer. I tried to mimic their breathing which was working, I felt their hands rubbing circles on my back while.

" there we go, you're doing great kitten. Just keep doing that.. There we go.. " they kissed my forehead. A sense of familiarity ran through my veins. My mind was foggy and messy before so I wasn't able to recognize the perosn show as holding me right now. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that he was the one who is holding me right now.

I pulled out in his embrace as I stared at his beautiful cat-eyes. I examine his feautures. Jaw length hair with a yellow dye below his black hair, making him look like a pudding, cute cheeks.. Pointy nose and oh the the eyes I always love to get lost at.

I cupped his cheeks as another sob escaped my lips, more tears spilling through my eyes.

" k-kenma.. " I sobbed, lips quivering. He then smiled, the little smile I always love to see in him.

I felt another whine escaped my lips, biting my lower lip to supress another ugly cry.

Kenma, my boyfriend, pulled me back into his arms. The comfort he was giving me was enough to break the walls I was trying to built making me cry like a pathetic child.

Kenma held me tight as he whispers such sweet comments and compliments to me. The fact that he was giving those beautiful words for me only made me more emotional. Why am I such a cry baby? I feel embarrassed, yet so loved at the same time.

I clutched his shirt, crying my heart out into his chest as he rubbed circles to my back, kissing my forehead and whispering such sweet things to me. How did I became this lucky.

░░░░░░░

After seems like hours. Y/N finally calmed down, but asleep.

I looked at her puffy eyes and her flushed cheeks and nsoe from crying, I wiped her wet cheeks and the snot on her nose with my T-shirt and also wiping her sweats.

I sighed for a bit before looking at her again, so beautiful and so fragile. I sighed yet again before chuckling. But at the same time, she's one a hell of a woman.

I tuck a few strand of her H/L H/C behind her ear before carrying her in bridal style and placing her gently on her bed. once I placed her on her bed, I quickly went to her bathroom, taking her med kit and taking out some disinfectant and bandages.

I cleaned the scratches on her arms and neck before wrapping them up. Once I was done I tidied up my mess and her room. In the process of me on cleaning her room, I heard a soft knock coming from the door.

It opened slightly and to only reveal her mother. I bowed at her politely and also greeting her.

" how is she? "She asked with a worried look in her eyes.

" she's.. Fine now, just calmed down. " I answered. Her mother looked at her sleeping figure for a moment before looking back at me again.

Her mother gave me a bow before giving me a hug, I felt myself froze from the spot not really used this much contact before, well, apart from Y/N.

Mrs. L/N let go of me before giving me a sad smile as she went to Y/N sleeping figure, sitting beside her.

Mrs. L/N stared at her daughter for a moment before caressing her cheeks.

" Y/N is very lucky to find a boy like you, you know? " Mrs. L/N started, I felt myself getting flustered at her comment.

I was about to object when she cuts me off.

" back then, her attacks were far worse then this actually.. To the point that she to he admitted to a hospital. " she sighed.

" before you came, my duaghtee, Y/N, was very quiet, rarely speaks and go outside. But thanks to you, that all changed. " she looked at me.

" I'm very thankful for everything you did for my daughter. " she walked up to me and patted my head.

" please continue treating my daughter with so much care. " she smiled before bowing again and leaving the room. I stared at the now closed door for a moment before sighing and inviting myself to the bed next to her, also carefully pulling herself to me, cuddling her real close.

I promise to treat you with so much care and love. I love you so so much L/N Y/N.

[cryoux]

My first time posting anything ever and it's gotta be nalu

"Lucy," he whispered, brow furrowed with some sort of feeling twisting his heart. It wasn't anger, but it wasn't really sadness either, and Natsu couldn't figure out what other emotions could feel this bad.

He had always hated her tears. Seeing the crystals falling from her soft eyes, in combination with the sniffles and sobs she'd occasionally let out was the worst possible thing he could witness, and he had vowed to make sure anybody who made Lucy cry would pay.

But… he couldn't do that here. As airheaded as Natsu was, he recognized that. Lucy was in the corner of her home, sitting against the wall and holding her knees to herself as the tears fell relentlessly. And for him, it was all too easy to figure out what exactly she was crying about.

He could just distract her, like every other time he'd found her distraught. Jokes and general cheer always brought her mood back up, and it was certainly less nerve-wracking than trying to offer emotional advice. Hell, Natsu barely knew what he was feeling at any point, and there was no way he could help someone else with the same.

That wouldn't work, though. Not this time.

As quietly as possible, Natsu approached his partner, kneeling down in front of her. In addition to being far too absorbed in her sorrow to look up and notice him, Lucy had her head buried in her hands as she weeped.

Natsu gingerly brushed a hand on her head, and the way she jolted and looked up made his heart shatter irreparably in his chest.

"Natsu…"

Truthfully, he had long since adored the way she said his name. He never thought that a name could sound nice until he heard the way Lucy called his out in the heat of battle, or how she excitedly greeted him with an exclamation, or even huffed it out in the most endearing form of annoyance he'd ever witnessed from a person.

Needless to say, he'd never get bored of her name either. Plenty of times he'd heard the name Lucy, seeing how common of a name it was, and yet the fact that it was hers made everything different. Lucky Lucy of Fairy Tail - that was her 'full' name in his head anyways. Because just as claimed in her past, Lucy was his good luck charm, and Lucy was, for lack of any words, simply the most Lucy she could be.

She meant the world to him, and that was that.

As soon as she'd recovered from the initial shock of being found like this, she let out another sob and threw herself into Natsu's chest, embracing him in a death hug that he fully reciprocated. Here in her arms, burying his face in her golden hair and drowning in her scent, Natsu knew he was done for. He'd never be able to give this up, he realized. He just hoped with all of his heart that she could ever feel the same.

"S'okay." He mumbled in assurance, though he wasn't sure why she was crying in the first place. Whatever it was, he vowed, he would fix it, be it a broken heart or a nerve touched by some guy - that warranted a good beating from one of the strongest mages in Fairy Tail. Anybody who dared badmouth Lucy soon saw the wrath of a dragon, akin to a glimpse of the afterlife.

As he was caught up in his thoughts of violence towards any who wronged her, Lucy was in fact crying about a whole different thing. The bad guys weren't out there, she'd long since learned never to take others' criticism to heart. It was the voice in her own head that hurt her the most, the one thing that Natsu couldn't beat up and move on from.

"What's up?" He asked in the gentlest voice he could muster, terrified of saying something wrong.

"I'm… not good enough."

What?

Apparently his face said it all, because she decided to explain herself, if only a little.

"I'm so useless to you guys! My spirits can only be as strong as I am, and after seeing their Eclipse forms… what if they feel trapped just because I'm so weak? Like they can't access their full power because of me?" Bleary-eyed, she shook against him helplessly, stuck in the realization of this tragedy.

Natsu thought it was the most bullshit thing he'd ever heard.

"What are you talking about? You're amazing."

She sighed. "No, Natsu, face it, I'm the weakest link. Our team would be so much better off without me, and we all know it. So why do we keep pretending like I belong?"

His head shook adamantly. "You aren't anything like that. You're what keeps us going, what holds us together. We'd never finish half the things we do if you weren't there to save our butts." He pulled back from their embrace to look into her eyes, with conviction rooted in his. "We're a team. And we'd be a team, magic or not. Nothing's ever gonna change that." Then, he simply dazzled her with that brilliant toothy white smile, dark eyes sparkling with happiness in a way that she'd only known Natsu to do. Everything about him was utterly unique, each expression, gesture, and sentence from him being incomparable to anything Lucy had seen. To her, he and his flames were like the sun- no, not like The Sun. Natsu was a new kind of sun, a different but incredibly welcome kind of warmth and light for everyone in Fairy Tail.

She only stared at him through all these contemplations, until she realized how strange it must have felt for him. What could she say? It wasn't like she could agree, but outright denying him felt wrong too. Why, these days, did it feel like they were constantly shifting on a glass floor, with each bad move threatening to send them crashing? Did it feel the same way for him?

"Lucy," he called softly, his grin fading into a soft smile that melted every bit of her. It was clear he was waiting for a response, something to let him know she was okay, but Lucy still didn't have anything she felt satisfied with giving. For being a writer and priding herself on her eloquence, she sure couldn't remember any words when she needed them the most.

It's not like Natsu was any good with words.

An idea struck her.

Her beloved partner was inspiring, encouraging, and uplifting in all the things he said - but ultimately, over their friendship, Lucy had learned that Natsu knew actions much better than words. When she was upset, he hugged her. When he was sad, he rarely ever spoke about it. When he was livid about some despicable act, he would fight his way to peace, despite how contradictory that was. When she had fallen ill and was unable to see the Sakura blossoms, Natsu uprooted the entire tree and sent it down the river just for her! Yes, Natsu showed everything through actions, so it made sense that an action would be what he best understood.

Now resolved, Lucy took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. It didn't work; her proximity to Natsu was going to keep her heart rate escalated indefinitely. Damn her charming teammate and his endearing smiles.

Leaning up a bit, Lucy was trembling as she carried out this action. Her heart sang as she pressed her lips to his cheek, almost giggling at the feeling of his absurd body temperature against them. The moment lasted a mere second before she drew back, opting to shut her eyes and bite her lip rather than face what she'd done.

Meanwhile, Natsu drew a blank.

He'd gotten kisses on the cheek before. He was well familiar with the custom of greeting close friends or family with this particular gesture of affection, so it wasn't really strange that Lucy had done it.

Wasn't it?

He'd never seen her do anything like this before - maybe with Michelle, a couple of times with Levy, but never quite like this. For one, those kisses were fleeting, barely a brush of contact. That was not what had just happened. Did she do this more than he initially thought? Had she done this to Erza, or Cana, or even Gray? Red hot jealousy shot through him at the thought of Lucy's lips touching Gray of all people - that didn't seem normal. He tried to imagine Erza kissing Gray on the cheek to see if it invoked a similar feeling, but all he found in that endeavor was disgust.

Happy was right, he realized.

Virgo was right.

The whole guild had been right.

He liked her.

He LIKED Lucy. More than normal, more than he'd ever liked anyone before, more than just a friend.

This revelation needed to be shared.

"I like you." He blurted unceremoniously, looking at his partner anxiously.

Lucy opened her eyes and furrowed her brow, what? "Well I know that, we're best friends, right?"

Natsu shook his head fervently. "No, I REALLY like you, Luce."

The blonde shrugged in his arms. "Right, we're partners, then. I like you too Natsu," she spoke nonchalantly, in a way that told Natsu she wasn't getting it.

"That's not what I-" The dragon slayer felt a frustrated growl bubbling in his throat as he stumbled over his words. Good lord, how he hated words. Why did everything have to have a double meaning? There had to be a simpler, more efficient way of communicating.

Lo and behold, there was one.

One that could break their friendship, if he went through with it. One inspired by her, in hopes that what he had felt really was a sign, and one that sounded more appealing with each fleeting thought. This was what people did when they liked someone they're close to, right?

Natsu absolutely hated the uncertainty coursing through him right now, and he decided the only way to tip that horrible feeling of bated anticipation was to dive headfirst into action. Almost literally.

He reached his hands up to rest on her face, almost laughing at how serious she tried to appear despite the way he squished her cheeks. Before she could even protest, Natsu ducked his head down and placed a clumsy kiss right on Lucy's soft lips.

"Lucy," he said once again, unable to meet her eyes as a shade of pink rivaling his hair covered his cheeks. His tone was… uncertain, in a way that Lucy had rarely ever heard before. "I like you."

Wait a minute, she wasn't concerned about his tone, he'd just KISSED her?! Natsu Dragneel, the most idiotic dragon slayer, the most hot-headed wizard in all of Fiore, the rowdiest member of Fairy Tail, and her best friend - it couldn't be. For months she'd disregarded her own feelings, out of pure anxiety and fear that was completely warranted. She was so sure he didn't have a clue what romance meant, much less how it felt.

"Th…" Lucy brought a hand up to brush against her lips, still replaying the memory of the way his felt. "That was… my first kiss."

What?!

Natsu recoiled instantly, eyes wide and flustered face now on its way to match Erza's hair. "Oh, crap! I'm- I'm sorry Lucy, I know how much that meant to ya I swear I didn't mean it- well I did, but- augh!" Frustration took over his voice as he grabbed a fistful of his own hair, as if to calm himself - or maybe yank a good sentence out of his head. Whatever the case, Lucy didn't pay much attention. That is, until he turned to leave. No, he couldn't leave!

"Wait!" Without thinking Lucy grabbed his hand, forcing him to turn back around and look at her. What the hell was her plan?! Of course, she didn't HAVE one! But had he?

Without allowing it much more thought, Lucy put her hands squarely on his shoulders and leaned up on her toes to kiss him. It was shy, it was hesitant, but it was everything she'd dreamed it to be and more. Natsu's lips were hot against hers, just like she thought they'd be, and he was rather stiff throughout the kiss. Then again, Lucy was sure she was the same way.

As she drew away, she looked up at Natsu, who still had his eyes closed as he attempted to recover.

"Luce," he rasped, toned arms wrapping around her firmly, burying his nose into the soft skin of her neck and inhaling deeply. She smelled divine, in that comforting way that managed to quell his motion sickness even the slightest bit. In the way that told him everything was going to be okay, because as long as he had Lucy by his side he could never allow himself to die. In the way she always had.

The blonde squeaked, alarmed. "Natsu!" She gasped, unsure of her partner's intentions until she felt him heave a content sigh. Oh, right. He said I smell good to him. Any other time, Lucy would have called him a creep and told him to knock it off. But now? Now she found it endearing, in a way. How strange.

Their future was uncertain, now. But for once, Lucy truly welcomed this uncertainty, as that very fog harbored a whole new land of possibility that she couldn't wait to explore; with none other than Natsu by her side.

[l1ttlelucy]

HOTD x HTTYD CROSSOVER

Where Lucerys mother and father had perished in the dragon seige many years ago and were taken in by Harwin Strong, who became the new chief of their village.

Lucerys was never great at killing dragons, having never done so before.

But he tried. He tried so hard, yet could never get the killing blow.

His older brother Jacaerys, and younger brother Joffrey were great warriors. They had slaughtered many of the firey beasts, and Lucerys failed to capture even 1.

Until one night, a dragon gets caught in his snare and tumbles out of the sky. None witnessed it, so Lucerys will only tell once he'd made sure the dragon didn't escape.

Once the sun rises, Lucerys is out with a blade in hand.

He will not come back empty-handed.

It took many hours before he saw trees shattered and broken, and he stalks closer.

He cannot help but gasp at the sight.

The dragon is large, much larger than most he's seen– which is saying something, as Harwin enjoys taking his sons on adventures.

But not only that.

It was stark white. The scales were nearly blinding, Lucerys was forced to squint lest he loses his eyesight. The dragon was lean yet broad– likely built for both speed and strength. Horns fading into purple covered the beast.

The web of the wings was a light purple as well– the beast was the most gorgeous thing Lucerys had ever seen.

It lay on its left side, and a pool of blood grew under its head.

Lucerys tried pushing the worry out of his head as he moved closer.

A branch broke and the dragon's body tensed, not yet looking up but prepared to fight back– if only several ropes from Lucerys contraption had not tangled themselves around it, leaving no movement allowed.

Pushing through the fear, Lucerys stopped before the beast's head.

(It was nearly as large as Lucerys himself. Perhaps another year or so, and the dragon would be able to swallow Lucerys whole.)

A purple eye opened and stared at Lucerys, unblinking as Lucerys held the blade above his head.

Breathing growing ragged, Lucerys could not look away from the eye of jewels, limbs trembling as the beast stared back at him, unable to distinguish what it was feeling, what it would say if it could speak.

He could not break eye contact.

Heart in his throat, choking on it.

His brows furrowed as he bit his bottom lip.

The Dragon closed its eyes.

Lucerys brought the blade down.

A purple eye opened again, puzzled, as the rope around its body began to loosen.

Lucerys grit his teeth, staring down at the beasts moving belly as it inhaled and exhaled, focused on cutting through the ropes.

He was a failure.

He could not bring himself to kill a dragon.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I cannot do it."

Lucerys murmured, tears clouding his vision as he cut away the last of the rope.

He knelt there, both boy and Dragon unmoving.

And then the Dragon lept up and Lucerys fell against the ground.The beast towered over Lucerys– even in its hunched form as spits and hisses fell from its maw that could easily tear Lucerys apart.

The sound stopped as both took in one another, properly.

Lucerys, lay back against the floor, breathing erratic as tears slipped down

cheeks of a rosy red, lips spread with puffs of air leaking from them. Terrified.

The dragon, large and white, ichor slipping down the left side of its face from its eye, staining its scales a pink.

It was silent, as the guilt grew in Lucerys at what he'd done.

He failed to stifle the sob tearing his throat, and the dragon looked surprised before it hardened once again.

"I-I am so sor–" a scream slipped from his lips, cutting his words short as a talon the size of him covered him.

Lucerys tried scrambling away, jumping up and running.

The claws closed around him, and the beast took off.

Lucerys screams did not dim, in fact, they grew louder. Staring upside down as his village grew further and further until it was gone.

Black clouded his vision and Lucerys passed out.

[heiayen]

EPISODE 15: BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE note: this chapter has VERY important written part, so remember to not skip it!

"You look terrible."

"Do I, now."

"…did something else happened?"

You wanted to yell.

"Just…" You trailed off.

That (or maybe the fact that you were just blankly staring at the wall) caught his attention, and he moved from where he was standing to sit next to you on the couch.

"You just what…?"

What were you supposed to tell him when you didn't know what happened yourself?

All you knew, all you remembered was how he calmly asked you to come to his makeshift office in the studio, how he calmly asked you to explain the rumours and photos, how he slammed his laptop shut and then it was just your crying and begging for him to not kick you out—

"Y/N."

You were crying. You still wanted to yell.

"I don't– I don't know, he called me to his office–" You choked on your own tears. You didn't want to talk about it. You really didn't.

"Wait, wait–" He started to sound rather panicked, too "–try to calm down first?"

"How I am supposed to calm down when I don't even know if I lost the fucking role in the movie?!"

There was silence only interrupted by your sobs.

You hated it. So much.

"...please, say anything." You found yourself mumbling.

You wanted to hear anything. Just anything.

"...you what?"

You opened your mouth to speak and yet nothing came out.

You probably lost your role over a few photos and a rumour. Few people talking ruined everything you worked for so hard.

Scaramouche noticed there probably wasn't any point in trying to get you to talk, so instead he pulled you closer to himself.

That would do. You hoped it would. You were so tired of crying you just wanted to stop. You still wanted to yell.

Yell how cruel of them all it was.

Just what have you done for fate to treat you so cruelly?

You didn't know how much time passed, but you knew your headache was only getting worse. Your throat was only getting more sore.

But so with time, your breath was calming down. The tears were less and less, you were getting too tired to cry anymore, but also calmer.

You hoped that it was calm that was washing over you.

You cleared your throat and coughed. Your voice was probably giving up on you at this point.

"I'll get you water."

You felt Scaramouche get up from the couch and you just nodded. He came back with a glass a minute later and you drank it.

"When I arrived at the studio," You started, your voice weak, "He asked me to go to his office. And then he showed me the photos and asked to explain. And—"

You took a deep breath to not cry again and felt him put his hand on your shoulder. It brought you some comfort.

"And. I didn't know what to say." You hated how your voice cracked. "So I said nothing."

You hated everything about it.

"And then he started scolding me like some naughty child, how he expected more from me, as if– it was my fault. As if I did it on purpose, to destroy his career."

It was so absurd.

"It was my career on the line, not his. He can still sit in his comfy chair and– and be the popular director and it will be me with– my whole career ruined over a dumb rumour!"

"...I'm going to kill him."

Your head snapped at him. "What, no?"

"He kicked you out for a rumour," You could tell by his voice alone just how angry he was, "And then this fucker tried to blame this on you?"

You blinked. To hear it put so simply hurt.

"Some time before you came home, he called me." You looked back at your knees, "And told me he wants to see me in the studio tomorrow."

You didn't understand it.

"I don't know what to expect from him..." A foolish part of you hoped he had a sudden change of mind, that maybe he would give you a second chance. "But..."

It was as if he could read your mind. He put his hand on your cheek and pulled your head to make you look at him.

"Even if he gives you a second chance, you can't possibly accept it? Not after how he treated you?" He sounded bewildered that you would willingly go back there.

But, oh, what there was left for you? If you were given a second chance?

"...I can't not go." You still looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes. "If he lets me play again and I refuse, then people will think that these photos seriously meant something."

You weren't as experienced as Scaramouche when it came to the entertainment industry, but you knew enough to not risk it.

"Is– Is what people will think more important than your own well-being?" You hated when he put it like this, "Come on, you can't be serious."

Just what was left for you, other than saying yes?

a/n: so! so. im sorry yn. im not actually but whatever LMAO this had to happen <3 also i am very much unused to writing this emotional scenes for tumblr so... ure free to comment on it?? if it's good. anywaysss hope yall had fun with this chapter!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

edit: if you get a notification about this chapter late or whatever then it's because tumblr is absolutely messing with me and tagging and sometimes refuses to tag everyone

MAIN POST. previous <—> next

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[redtail-lol]

Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death

Yeah so I wrote heavy angst. @snowkit-and-blackquill wanted to read it so here. You are tagged

CONTENT WARNING: Attemped suicide and mentions/mild descriptions of (non-physical) child abuse. You have been warned. Story below the cut

Miles Edgeworth sat in his office. It was late at night and the lights were off. He should have felt better, after Phoenix had acquited him, but he just continued to feel worse. He had to accept the fact that he had followed in the footsteps of Manfred von Karma, the man who killed his father. He betrayed everything Gregory Edgeworth was, to be a spitting image of the man who took his life. That fact was even further cemented earlier that week, when he learned he had convicted someone using forged evidence.

He really was Manfred von Karma.

He couldn't accept that. The man who killed his father, who put him and Franziska through years of emotional abuse, who cared little for truth and justice and only for his win record... He became him. He became him because he didn't really know who he was. He was just... A shell, molded into Manfred's image. And now he didn't know who he should be.

Miles had everything ready. He couldn't write out his feelings in a suicide note, because he didn't want anyone to know how weak he was. He had written a simple one: "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death." He had the gun, loaded. He didn't even notice he was crying until he reached for it and felt the tears land on his hand. He grabbed it, and looked at it for a while. His mind kept flashing back. The day his dad died... The feelings he'd had for years, believing he killed Gregory... Manfred fueling that belief... Him and Fran, being screamed at, shamed, humiliated, and hurt through the things they loved... He still remembered Manfred burning Franziska's favorite stuffed toy and destroying his steel samurai collection when she had got in a fight with her father and Miles stood up for her, and Manfred shredding a picture he had of him and his father and snapping Franziska's phone in half when he found out both kids were gay. He remembered all the ways he'd turned into his mentor, putting his most loyal detective well beneath the poverty line, being ruthless and borderline cheating in court, and viewing a guilty verdict as a win for him, and a not guilty verdict a failure, rather than both being the truth being found and justice carried out. Miles put the barrel in his mouth, ready to finally die. He accepted that he really died back when he was 17, and after years of being a shell, he was ready to join his father. He went to cock the gun and heard a click.

The door!

"Hey, Mr. Edgeworth, are you still here sir- M-Mr. Edgeworth!"

Gumshoe.

The detective ran to his boss, who slowly pulled the gun out of his mouth. He couldn't look him in the eye. Gumshoe took the gun, unloaded it, and slightly kneeled down so he could be on Edgeworth's level.

"Mr. Edgeworth... Are you okay, sir?"

"Of course not, you imbecile..!"

"Sorry! Stupid question, I know... But what's going on, Mr. Edgeworth, sir? Why... Why would you have that gun in your mouth? Why would you want to die...?" There was sincerity in the detective's voice. He felt cared for, and he wanted to sob and tell the detective everything he was feeling... But he couldn't. He couldn't let anyone know the pain that weighed so heavily in his heart. He could hardly stand that anyone had caught him so weak...

"I don't know who I am," the words fell out. "I'm just a carbon copy of Manfred von Karma. I hate him and yet... I cannot deny that I am him."

"Nonsense, Mr. Edgeworth! You're nothing like von Karma!"

"That's complete and utter bullshit. In every way, I became him. And now, my whole view of the world has been turned upside down by Wright, and I..." his voice faltered, and he could do nothing but sob. He felt so ashamed, crying his problems onto poor detective Gumshoe. "...Now I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I... It's too late to go back and honor my Father. But I don't want to continue being Manfred..."

Gumshoe gave him a sympathetic look and helped him stand. Miles nearly collapsed in the detective's arms, feeling so weak and vulnerable already.

"I'll dispose of this here, and then we can take a month off. Just you and me, on a nice vacation... And while I will have to come back, you can have as much time as you need to help discover yourself, okay?"

"Discover... Myself?"

"Yeah! I mean, just because you can't be Gregory Edgeworth don't mean you gotta be Manfred von Karma. You can be Miles Edgeworth! He's still somewhere, deep inside your heart... You just gotta find him again!"

"...There's a lot more than just my identity crisis that I have to sort through, detective..."

"Well, I'll be there for ya if you need me. Come on, let's go. Let's get you home."

Edgeworth left with Gumshoe, looking back on the dark office where he almost ended his life. He felt... Strange. Hopeful. And incredibly grateful.

"Detective."

"Hm?"

"...Thank you."

"...Oh, uh, of course Mr. Edgeworth! I- I couldn't just leave you there, y'know."

He smiled at Gumshoe, despite the fact tears were still streaming down his face. He wasn't ready to tell him everything yet, but perhaps he would tell him during their vacation. He was scared of the unknown future ahead of him, but he was glad he had one at all. Everything is gonna be okay for once...

Phoenix hadn't heard from Edgeworth in a week. He figured he'd drop by his office, to see if he was swamped with work or needed help with anything.

"Edgeworth?"

The office was vacant and silent. He started snooping around, as Phoenix Wright would do, and found a note left on his desk. Dread filled his mind and he read the words:

Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death.

[fushiglow]

Me: 'aw no i shouldnt read a fic set in the music industry, it'll get me sad about abandoning my own dreams; nope nuhuh, apologies, moving on' -> fast forward a few weeks -> i see ur fic pop up every now n then on both ao3 n tmblr, tempting me to read it -> fast forward again, it's tday -> i end up caving in eventually when i see it on my dash again; checked out the first chapter while having lunch earlier. Got H o o k e d by ur narrative. And so i inhaled two more chaptrs a sec ago while commuting back home aaaaand lil old me proceeded to be WILDLY inspired by ch4 shenanigans and immediately i >Needed< to relisten to the Liszt performance, seeing it anew yet again, and then also dug up some soundtracks i made once upon a time when id been fooling around w the idea of expressing myself thru music -> fast forward again, im home now, n getting all giddy ab it, cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.) I just. I feel the raw emotion in your fic and it made my heart pound while reading it. You >get it< jfc. (Also satosugu n others work So Well in ur story, so in character, u make it look so natural, as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen). I only just finished the 4th chapter and im not caught up yet, but i couldnt have waited to tell u my thoughts so. There goes!! ((Also even months later im still deeply wounded by canon so i feel like im irrevocably dysregulated when it comes to engaging w satosugu haha, apologies if i come off strong. U just combined two passions of mine into one fic and im feeling So Fucking Grateful i wanna kiss u on the forehead and bless u for seven generations forward. Again - i havent yet finished what u've already dished out (bless ur soul for posting ur work holyhell) so ima come back when i have more unhinged thoughts as i read. Your writing is so On Point i can't contain myself (my heart is singing w joy because when i connect w the writing style i connect HARD. And lemme tell u, your style is both intense and light and professional and that's my fav combo, ima go n cry over my piano now bye. Until next time, ily sm) (also sorry about this longass ask, it was meant to be a oneliner but it got away from me bc.. Emotions, damn) -royce

Oh... Um...

Excuse me while I fucking cry over MY piano, what the actual fuck 😭 I think this is the biggest compliment I could possibly receive, you have NO FUCKING IDEA how happy it makes me to read that my fic inspired you to sit down at the piano again, holy shit???

cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.)

I am sobbing and kicking my feet all at once at this image, I love you I love you I love you. Please tell me, how did it go?? Did you have fun? Did it feel good? God, I hope it did!!! 😭

I started writing this fic to heal some of my own hurt about leaving a career in music behind, so I'm writing this for people like you and me. You're my ideal reader and you couldn't POSSIBLY come off too strong. PLEASE come back with your unhinged thoughts, I will gladly scream with you about this — in fact, I'm desperate to do exactly that!

Royce, you're everything. Thank you so much for all your lovely words about my writing too, this soothes all of my doubts about deciding to post something so deeply self-indulgent all those months ago. This is for YOU 🫶

as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen

Also, what do you mean? That's what it's about, isn't it? 👀