#I'd be lying if I said it doesn't intrigue me

[rosewilsongf]

okay first of all i love the “written by stevienicks” but i also need to talk bradnate!!

why do they scratch the brain like that!!!

REAL!! (also thank you!) I think it's something to do with that whole dynamic of the king and lionheart? It's a pretty compelling dynamic. like they're loyal to the core with one another but it's not so much spoken as it is shown.

They're both quite reserved about their true emotions, Nate's own reason for this being his job and Brad, I think, is also similar but also because it doesn't seem to be in his nature to really let himself be vulnerable with more 'mushy emotions'? (he's not very good at expressing directly what he really feels like when he was talking about his ex-girlfriend). He also tends to use sarcasm and such to communicate those feelings with the others (aside from Nate, which really plays into the trust between them).

Like, in that sense, they really get each other. The nature of their positions as leaders mean they have to hold back a lot and through the looks and gazes, it's like letting each other know that the other sees and understands on a deeper level. And like that speaks louder than words. They both see the human underneath and when they interact, it's the human underneath they're talking to and not the persona they each put up.

[ddarker-dreams]

Lock, would you please explain the differences in your husband rotation when they're in a "normal state/character" compared to when they exhibit yandere tendencies/ are extremely yandere? I'd love to read your thoughts🖤!

this was such an interesting question that i've been thinking about it all day HGETJNKR

speaking in general terms, even when writing 'non-yandere' versions of the husband rotation, i still make them a lil weird. just a dash of unhinged. what changes depending on if they're yan or not is how willing they are to consciously impede on the reader's wishes for their personal gain. now, getting into specifics...

my take on non-yandere and yan chrollo

there are a lot of little specifics that change depending on the variation of the character i'm writing for, but we'd be here all day if i got into that. so, i'll be focusing on the most prominent differences. regarding mr. lucilfer, i consider the most pertinent changes to be: him divulging his identity to reader and how out of his way he goes to rope reader in.

yan chrollo holds off on revealing that he's the leader of the phantom troupe, but is eventually fine with you finding out. it serves a dual-purpose. first, you're Extra cognizant of the power difference, thwarting any potential shenanigans you might get up to. second, he can unapologetically be himself. non-yandere chrollo's fine expressing his apathy toward the plight of others in small, socially acceptable increments. he's less blunt about it overall because he doesn't want you to drift away from him.

then there's his manipulation of outside variables to scooch you his way. yan chrollo accepts subjecting you to some traumatic things as a 'means to an end,' whereas his non-yandere counterpart values your mental well-being more. thanks king. regardless, they're both going to stalk you to varying extents, utilizing morally ambiguous methods without any guilt. they're also both going to make liberal use of lying by omission.

non-yandere and yan gojo

i am physically incapable of writing gojo being normal toward reader. it'd lack the pièce de résistance. that being said, non-yandere gojo is weird and yan gojo is weird with malicious intent. i'm not sure if that makes any sense, so allow me to elaborate.

they're both not the best with respecting boundaries, although in non-yandere gojo's case, that'd improve slightly with age. i always write reader as having attended high school with him because that's the dynamic i find most intriguing. in both cases, gojo in his teenage years is going to be obnoxious and unapologetic about keeping your eyes on him. non-yandere gojo deviates in his ability to mature by trusting you enough to believe you when you say you're not going anywhere. yandere gojo always has that gnawing fear that he'll end up with no one who can truly understand him if he isn't vigilant.

either way, you're not locked up in some dungeon where you'll never see the light of day, which is a boon. they're both content to let you interact with geto & shoko in your high school years, as well as their students into adulthood. selfish as yan gojo can be, his dream of the next generation usurping the status quo is paramount. he believes your influence too invaluable to deprive his students of. they both complain about how much you dote on megumi though.

non-yandere and yan scara

... ahem. the differences here are less pronounced. a driving factor behind scaramouche's character is his fear of abandonment, along with the resentment from the betrayals he previously experienced. they're both not the easiest people to be in a relationship with (or the healthiest). there's always going to be some level of codependency with non-yandere scaramouche. his yandere variation just cranks that to the highest setting.

the key difference lies within your ability to steer him away from being a weirdo. there's a skill ceiling for yan scaramouche, you can only make it so far. non-yandere scaramouche, on the other hand, has a sliver of hope. it'd require a mind-numbing amount of patience and forgiveness, but it's technically possible. everything comes down to how much you love him at his worst. should you accept him, albeit with some conditions (such as him being more honest with his feelings), he will make a legitimate effort to reform himself.

anything else nets you a bad end. he's emotionally volatile and prone to callousness. it isn't like yan scaramouche wants you to hate him — he's driven by paranoia. compounded by your understandable distaste for his new, restrictive behavior, he ends up saying things he'll later regret. tl;dr scara is eevee and will evolve into a slightly normal partner or yandere depending on your stats.

non-yandere and yan blade

somehow the most normal from this lineup?????? not that that's an achievement, since that bar's in hell, but it's still kinda funny.

unlike the other weirdos on this list, non-yandere blade could come to accept if you loved another. it isn't inconceivable or a reality he'd seek to alter. if anything, non-yandere blade would find your romantic interest in him far more perplexing. he's a jaded, immortal weapon who guiltlessly sheds blood. he knows you deserve better and that you're likable enough to find another partner. said partner would be subject to his scrutiny, but he wouldn't be vehemently opposed.

yandere blade thinks a similar way. what changes is his self-restraint — or lack, thereof. would you be happier with another? yes. can he love you the way you deserve? absolutely not. that doesn't remedy the incessant urge to possess you. you don't even have to like him back, per se, just having you around satisfies him. you quench this hunger that his non-yandere self ignores (with great difficulty).

here's to hoping this makes any sense 😭...

[hamliet]

"Pet": Pretty Woman, But Gay

So I read the Captive Prince series way back in like, 2016, and read the first few short stories and never read the fourth one because I wasn't a fan of the character it would focus on. And then through a weird set of circumstances I found myself reading this short story this past week, and it might be one of my favorite short stories ever.

I'm posting under a cut because the series is very adult, and the short story and series itself contain triggering content.

Ancel is definitely a favorite character of all time now, which is impressive especially since I hated him. But that's kind of what CS Pacat does well--she writes unlikable characters who are indeed truly flawed and not just soft babies inside, and then makes you like them by showing their development without completely changing who they are as characters. It was the main strength of the original Captive Prince trilogy, after all--Laurent's development still remains one of my favorite character arcs of all time.

So really, I don't know why I was shocked at what she did with Ancel. Especially because the whole reason I hated Ancel was the same incident that made me dislike Laurent: a scene in which Laurent uses Ancel to sexually assaults Damen. And I still do think that particular scene is the biggest flaw in the series, because it's kind of glossed over in a lot of ways. Admittedly, that's still the biggest flaw of "Pet" as a story, too: that the story frames Ancel's low moral point as what he does to Erasmus, which is portrayed as an escalation of what he does to Damen, when I'd argue it's the opposite.

Yet, seeing things from Ancel's perspective--how desperate he is to matter, how he genuinely has only ever been used and so doesn't understand why other slaves wouldn't even try to perform and enjoy the meager scraps of joy they get in life--changed my perspective on him. Not on the incident, but on him.

Ancel's a brilliantly written unreliable narrator, too. As confident and vain as he seems, he's all too aware that he doesn't matter in the court. As much as he hates Damen and Erasmus for the former's refusal and the latter's inability to play the role, it's really self-hatred projected onto them. We see bits and pieces of this seeping through in his conversations with Berenger, such as him telling Berenger in a moment of delight:

"I'd even sleep with you. I might even enjoy it for once." He stopped. "High praise," Berenger said dryly.

Ancel doesn't enjoy a lot of his life. But he'd never admit it, because he lacks control over pretty much every aspect of his life and so seeks to keep control over his thoughts by lying to himself. And yet, paradoxically, he's still one of the few people at court who is usually honest with others.

All of this is why Berenger is such a great love interest for Ancel. Berenger prizes honesty, but also freedom. He buys Ancel but refuses to sleep with him because he knows Ancel doesn't really want to, no matter what sweet nothings Ancel whispers in his ear. He respects Ancel's autonomy in ways no one else ever has, and he sees him as a person first and foremost.

Normally stoic "good guys" aren't super interesting as love interests for me. I like angsty tortured souls, Byronic bastards. But Berenger works perfectly in the story, and is no less interesting as a character than Ancel. To be fair, part of this is because everyone in Vere is insane and debauched and there needs to be one normal one there, and that's Berenger. Yet there's intrigue, too: why Berenger bid so highly to buy Ancel in the first place is never directly stated, but what he does say is that Ancel:

You took on every councilor in that room and won.

It wasn't the physical performance, but Ancel himself, his psychological performance. It serves as a metaphor for the overarching plot of the Captive Prince series, wherein the lowly and those who have everything against them end up taking on far more powerful individuals and systems and winning.

Which makes the last line of the story all the more fitting:

But if he wins?

Ancel may not be a pure-hearted individual, but all along he's showing Berenger that it is possible for those who have less to win, and to be loved and give love. He gives Berenger hope for the future, for the coming coup. And as we all know, Laurent does win, and I can only presume Ancel and Berenger live happily ever after.

My second complaint about the series is that the ending is too abrupt even if the ending line is perfect because that's my complaint about the trilogy too.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Derin, you once said that posting consistently in a web series is very important for the growth of audience. But how do you keep yourself motivated to create stories on schedule? Whenever I try to do it, I just lose motivation and get stressed out or bored with my project

My answer is to have a big buffer. I aim to have a buffer of at least one year's worth of chapters. That way, I can take a month or two off every now and then to avoid burnout. It is also far, far less stressful. Not having a buffer is the most stressful thing a writer can do, do not do that.

So far as long-term sticking to projects goes, there's a few skills involved here and all of them involve a lot of practice. The first thing is what I call the Shiny New Fruit problem. This is something you see pretty much every newbie writer doing -- they get a great idea for a story, they know how it's gonna start, they have a cool premise and a twist that's gonna BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND, it'll be great! They start writing! Their first chapter is cool and unique and full of promise, and they get great feedback, and they move onto the second chapter and it's also great, and...

Quite quickly, they run out of "great chapters". Most of the time, the start of your story is low hanging fruit, so far as writing goes -- it's where you get to introduce all your cool concepts and you're not weighed down by anything established yet and all the Cool Stuff That's Gonna Happen is still in the future, it's your perfect imagined version of it and not the (usually worse) version that ends up on the page. Then you run out of low hanging fruit, and it gets slower and harder, and you have to do a lot more actual work and it doesn't feel so new and exciting any more, and a newbie writer thinks, "oh, this isn't as fun, the story feels more boring to write, that part didn't come out as well as I'd hoped -- this story must be bad". And sometimes they might give up right away. Or instead they might continue... but they're distracted, because solving the issue of how to get those two guys out of prison in chapter 6 just gave them the BEST idea for a different story, it's gonna be so much better, the characters are great and they can already feel the words pouring out of them and...

So they run off to pick the low-hanging fruit for their new story, and before they know it, they have nine unfinished stories on their hard drive and not a completed story to their name.

Every writer will get distracted and enthused about new ideas for projects. This isn't a newbie problem. The newbie problem is letting them tempt you away from the viable projects you're already working on so that nothing gets done. My solution to this is very simple -- I am not allowed to write my future projects until I finish my current one. This way, all that enthusiasm for the future project is transmuted into motivation for the current one -- I can write that cool story about a bug alien who adopts and astronaut but first I have to push through the slow part of this story and get this story finished. This has always worked really well for me.

The second reason that you might lose motivation for a story you're working on is that the story is indeed bad, or at least, the version of it incubating in your mind isn't ready yet. The problem with this is that every story feels bad when you're bored or frustrated with it, and it takes a lot of practice to tell the difference between a genuine dud idea and one that your brain is lying to you about because it wants to play computer games instead. My advice on these is to push through anyway -- it almost certainly isn't a dud idea, and if it is, you'll learn way more by completing it than abandoning it.

The third reason is burnout. Now, it's important to note that everyone is bored and frustrated with their stories sometimes. I got sick of writing space intrigue and took a month off to play Subnautica (I could afford to do this with no stress because of my massive chapter buffer), then came back when I felt like it -- that isn't burnout. I've procrastinated for weeks before because I'm up to a really complicated scene with a lot of emotional beats and new information and it's hard to write so I don't wanna -- that isn't burnout. Burnout is what you get when you don't manage these things properly for way too long and grind your brain to paste. I have a lot of tips for avoiding burnout, but they'd take a long time to explain, so all I'll say here is that learning to recognise and avoid burnout is a skill that you will gain with experience.

The fourth reason that people get bored and frustrated is that writing is a skill, and it's a lot harder to do than it looks. Writing when you're not in Full Inspiration Mode is exhausting. It's difficult. It almost always looked worse on the page than you expected; your favourite authors do so much better than this, why doesn't your work look like theirs? It's just words! You know words!

This one trips a lot of newbies up, because in Full Inspiration Mode, writing is easy. someone can have five chapters pour out of them in that mode, and then look at their page two days later and go, "huh, writing is so much harder today". then they'll call that "writer's block" (that is NOT writer's block) and decide to write again when they "feel inspired".

Do not do this. It's a trap. If you only write when you're inspired, you will not succeed as a writer. Take advantage of your periods of inspiration, obviously, but writers must learn to forge ahead without them, because they're going to get fewer and smaller as the low hanging fruit all get picked and you simply will not keep up with a schedule relying on them, whether it's a web serial update schedule or a deadline given to you by a publisher or simply the desire to have a manuscript ready to pitch to an agent before you die of old age. The world is full of people who are "writing a book" and have been doing so for thirty years with almost no progress. If you want to finish, you need to write when it's a bit tricky, when it's a bit boring, when you're not inspired at all and aren't entirely certain where things are going. Fortunately this, like everything else here, is a skill that is honed with practice.

So, yeah. That's my advice. Have a chapter buffer, the bigger the better. Make sure that your writing pace is faster than your publication pace. Avoid these quitting/stopping pitfalls. That's pretty much it.

[allthatmay]

Before I knew what I wanted to ship (hello Shanks/Ace!), I tried my hand at writing some Law/Luffy. Still kinda like the idea; it was a Naga AU. Thought I'd post the beginning of it for you all, just for funsies.

Initially, Law hadn’t known what he was looking at. The thing was lying in the low tides, shimmering like iridescent clams in blue water. It had colours as vivid and variegated as some of the local species of shoreline coral, so Law supposed that’s what it was at first. Yet something bade him closer, and it was as he approached that he realised he wasn’t looking at coral, but at scales; at fins; at a large, magnificent tail.

Law’s second supposition was that the tail belonged to a mermaid. However, the fins were quite unlike those of the mermaids Law had known, being of a particularly transparent and flowing nature. The water manipulated them easily, making them undulate like jellyfish.

“Hello?” he called out.

The tail—and whoever it was attached to—didn’t move. Intrigued, Law walked closer until the tide was licking at his boots, then carefully manoeuvred around the rock upon which the supposed mermaid was leaning. Up close, the colours of the tail appeared even more spectacular, red and blue interspersed with shocks of orange so bright they glittered gold. Law's gaze followed the length of the tail up to a tanned, muscular waist, then to a face shadowed by dark, shaggy hair, and a half-opened mouth.

It became immediately apparent to Law that this man was not a mermaid. He couldn’t be, for he had too many scales: a cluster of them spread down his cheekbones from his webbed ears; a myriad surrounded the webs of his fingers; and angular patches lined the flanks of his abdomen. There wasn’t a wound in sight and yet the man was clearly unconscious, so Law took hold of his faithful nodachi, Kikoku, and called upon the power of his Devil Fruit.

“Room,” he murmured.

Encased within his power, Law immediately set about inspecting the man’s vitals. The injury was on the back of his head, so Law didn’t even attempt to treat him then and there. Instead, he used his power to swap himself and the fishman with a couple of bedsheets in the infirmary of his submarine. As soon as they appeared on board, Law swiftly repositioned the man upon the patient bed, exposing his head wound.

“North fucking Blue, Cap’n, you scared me.”

Law glanced over his shoulder with a frown. “Penguin, it's you. Good. Patient’s around 140kg. I need total intravenous anaesthesia—propofol and remifentanil infusion. Prep for transfusion, too, blood type F. Quickly.”

Penguin scattered, returning just as Law finished cleaning the surface of the wound, exposing the gnarly truth beneath. His gloves were already stained red, so he swapped them for another pair.

“Fucking hell,” Penguin breathed, staggering. “I’ll get Bepo.”

“As soon as possible, yes.”

That the fishman was alive was a miracle; something in his nature, perhaps. He had both a concerningly large hematoma and a skull fracture, but no haemorrhaging, at least. It was easy for Law to cut out the hematoma and the intruding blood with his Devil Fruit powers, but the fracture was a trickier mistress; bits of misplaced bone and the risk of brain-bleed meant Law was absolutely meticulous in his actions, spending agonising hours removing mere shards of bone before he could tend to reshaping the skull and sewing it all together.

“Well done, Captain,” Bepo said when all was said and done. His face-mask stretched with his smile. “Go lie down. I’ll watch over the patient.”

“Look out for—”

“I know.”

“If he doesn't—”

“I know, Captain. I was taught by the best!” You, his smile said. “Go get something to eat. You look exhausted.”

Law scowled but made no effort to refute. He discarded his surgical wear and scrubbed his hands clean, then elected to shower anyway, his thoughts on the mysterious fishman the entire time.

[cavecanem3000]

Notes of a deity researcher #4

Smoking

I am not proud of the frequency at which I worship this god. It is a awful habit and I don't know if I'll ever overcome it.

The first time I met him I was 16 years old. I was at a house party and I had followed a group of people outside. There were five of us in total.

I was a habitual smoker at this point but I didn't admit it. I was more addicted to the social ritual than the nicotine. There was something ancient about holding a lighter up to another person's cigarette, the way fingers brush as that small parcel of pleasure is moved from person to person. There was something sensual to me about the deep scent of smoke emanating from our hot, wet mouth's.

I was incredibly inebriated and my eyesight shuttered in and out of focus. Every now and then I would see the silhouette of a sixth person with us, chatting and making large gesticulations, but when I blinked, he would be gone. I tried to focus my eyes enough to see him, but it was impossible. His silhouette was like a hole punch taken out of the wall behind him. I admit this with shame, but I felt the familiar jolt of attraction as his blurry form moved in my peripheral vision. He noticed this, of course, and he grinned with a cruelty that excited me.

The next time I saw him, I was taking a cigarette break at work. I was alone this time, and he was leaning against the wall. I could see him better in the midday light. His whole body was a washed out grey colour. I tried not to look at him. I had become aware of my ability to converse with gods at this point, but I was scared. I lit my cigarette into my cupped hand.

He spoke in time with the flick of my lighter.

"Thinking of quitting?" He asked.

I shook my head and cast my gaze down. I watched the remnants of my other smoke breaks. Cigarette butts, bent sideways by the force of them being stubbed. They looked like fat little worms.

He ran his hand up my side. I still didn't look at his face. His body was warm.

"No point lying," he said, "I'm not angry at you. I just want you to stick around."

I nodded, taking a small drag, I felt like a child with my head underwater. The cigarette felt a soft, small mouth against my lips.

"Stick around for me, yeah?" His words crawled into my lungs.

I did stick around for him. For years.

I didn't stop smoking until a month ago, when he visited me again.

How could he have known that I was quitting? I had only decided in that exact moment. But there he was.

He was almost white this time, with a sickly orange hue to his complexion. There was someone else with him too. A twelve year old with ruddy cheeks and a shaved head.

I was packing up my car to move and walked right past him.

"Quitting?" He asked.

I shrugged, "It's not like I don't like you."

"I'm better," the little boy said, "in fact I'm good for you."

"Yes!" Smoking said, grinning, showing his blackened teeth, "have you met my associate?"

The little boy pulled a sliver of metal out of his pocket and sucked on it like a pacifier. The air suddenly smelled of raspberry.

"Oh," I said, "Yes, I think we've met."

I looked the Smoking God in the eye this time. There was still that bolt of attraction. The sharp twist of intrigue. I knew that this wouldn't be the last time I'd see him.

He gripped my hand tight, his eyes wet with tears.

"I'll see you around," he said.

I smiled at him, "Of course."

He hasn't appeared to me since then, but I have smoked in the interim. I wonder how he feels about it. If he is elated with every drag or if he doesn't even notice.

I find myself thinking about him often.

[quigonswife8]

Namor, Namora, Attuma: teaching you how to swim headcanons.

--

Originally was just gonna write this about Namor but because I love Namora and Attuma too, thought i'd add them.

A/N: Okay so in the final script of the movie it says Namor’s birth name is 'Ch’ah Toh Almehen' and I was just wondering if ya'll would like me to use that as the name the reader calls him from now on, or just stick with having the reader call him K'uk'ulkan?

Also: I've been changing Namor to K'uk'ulkan in my other fics I've written, as like he said, Namor is what his enemies call him, and K'uk'ulkan is what his people call him [the script says those in his realm]

I still think [if I don't use Cha'ah Toh Almehen in my fics for his name] that K'uk'ulkan still fits, as I think that's what his partner would call him [apart from the terms of endearment] and not Namor. Maybe, I dunno, let me know :)

Warnings: nearly drowning, that's it.

----

Namor:

Namor had noticed how you stared at the water, like it was a stranger, as you walked along the shore at night.

"Something on your mind, in yakunaj(my love)?"

-You glance over at Namor, a chuckle leaving your lips.

"I was just wondering..."

-Hands behind your back:

"...how it's so easy for people to swim. Wish I knew how..."

-This is when he stops, and you mirror his actions.

"You don't know how to swim?"

-He has been alive for around 500 years and you’re the first person he’s met who doesn’t know how to swim.

-This intrigues him, and the perfect idea comes to mind.

"Well..."

Namor takes one of your hands, and begins pulling you over to the edge of the water.

-He stops, but he doesn't let your hand go.

"...let me teach you."

It's night, it's not exactly warm, and you're fully clothed. Still you find yourself agreeing to this because 'there's no better time to do things than the present.' right?

-Since it's the first time he doesn't have anything for you to hold onto as he hadn't known about your inability to swim.

-So you just hold onto him, and he keeps you upright with his hands held onto your waist.

-Gives you simple instructions since, again, it's your first time learning how to swim.

-Some playful words thrown in that makes you relax a little more.

-The next time, he brings you something to hold onto.

-And guides you, at first, making it easier for you to learn with simple instructions.

-Namor is the best person to possibly learn how to swim from, as he knows it best.

-Will give you a nudge along the way and as time progresses and he finds you are getting better he'll give you space. He stays nearby, though, and he'll watch with a smile.

-Praises you the whole time and even more when you become an amazing swimmer.

-Asks for your help when he plans to attack the Wakandan’s, and you let him know that you’ll be there.

-To see you come a long way makes him beyond proud.

-

Namora:

Namora had decided to show you this beautiful hidden area of a beach for your second date.

-You can't stop the smile from growing.

"Báab wéetel?(swim with me)"

-Her hand held out for you to take so you can join her in the water.

-Only to be met with the guilty look on your face.

"Ba'ax yaan ma'alo'ob tu láakal(is everything alright?)"

Finding that there is no point in lying, you admit how you can't swim.

-Namora's expression, one of surprise, soon changes into care.

-Then she approaches you, a hand still held out, and you wash as a smile falls on her lips.

"Yaan in ka'ansikech túun(I will teach you then)."

-Namora is very patient. She will be there with you the whole time not leaving you until you are both confident that you can do it on your own.

-Her hands on your waist, guiding you, walking- well, swimming- you through everything

-The two of you do this for a few weeks, returning to that same spot, to resume the training.

-Brings something for you to use the first time you swim without her.

-Though Namora stays close by because it helps to calm your nerves.

-Loves watching you get better over time, and is super proud to see your progress.

-Is there for you every step of the way and will encourage you alot.

-She does give you a nudge if you need it.

-By the time you become really good is around the time when everything happens with Wakanda.

-Namora tells you about the plan to fight them, and since you can swim, and pretty amazingly at that, you tell her you'll be there to help.

-

Attuma:

-He had pushed you in the water to get you out of danger but he was unaware of the fact that you couldn't swim.

"A..." falling inbetween the crashing washes. "Attuma!"

-The water, heavy, pushing you down, filling your mouth with it's disgusting taste.

-Further away you're pushed, the harder it gets to stay above water.

-Then you begin to sink to the bottom, the heaviness of the water making it hard to breathe, making it hard to stay awake.

"Attuma." you say in hopes he'll realise that you need help and rescue you.

-As your sight begins to blur, and before you are surrendered to the sea, you're grabbed, and pulled out of the water.

-It's Attuma who pulls his mask off and puts it on you so you can get your breathing back to normal.

-Doesn't say anything until you're fully okay enough to talk and even then he's not sure what to say.

"Ba'axten ma' ta báab?" (why didn't you swim?)

"I...I don't know how"

-Attuma instantly feels terrible because you could have died thanks to him.

-It's not until a few months after that does he go to you and ask you if you would like him to teach you to swim.

-Waits for your hesitancy after that awful event, but he's surprised to hear you say yes pretty much straightaway.

-Will lead you back up onto the surface, taking you somewhere where it's more secretive and gives more privacy.

-Then he turns back to you, "Ts'o'ok a li'iskaba?(are you ready?)."

-When you nod he leads you into the water, handing you something to hold onto.

-Is a bit hesitant at first, which is a first. He'd nearly lost you the first time you were in the water [the first time without a suit].

-Though to see you relaxed and wanting to do this calms his nerves.

-Stays by your side despite you having something to hold onto.

-Attuma is a serious person. He is strong, a warrior, fearless. When he had nearly lost you, though, he hard become softer. Softer than he already was with you.

-Will continue to feel guilty for nearly killing you.

-This is why he isn't hard on you and is very patient with you, because you deserve to be treated this way.

-He owes this to you.

-Will give you encouragement along the way, and corrects you in a friendly way if you have done something wrong.

-He may not be hard on you but he'll still correct you if you have done something wrong cause it helps a lot.

-You're so happy that he's your teacher, you have learnt so much from him.

-When your lessons are over you thank Attuma for everything but he lets you know that, again, it's the least he can do.

-You try and let him know it wasn't his fault that you nearly died because he didn't know but he still blames himself.

[plexiglasssheets]

Pine-ing part 1

EDIT Prebook of book of bill so ermmmm

Fuck it fiddauthor fic probably will multi part | Cross posted on Ao3

PT 2 ================================

1982 Dec 17,

F was having somewhat reasonable holiday with drawls. His family away, I could sympathize with him. It had been a long time since I've sat with my family for anything. A homed cooked meal became a distant taste, as my cooking skills are mediocre to non existent. It being a Saturday it seemed reasonable to go into the town for a meal. We went to the diner that he loves, he said their bacon and syrup pair together like no other.

I take his word for it, as odd food combinations were never my thing, Stanley used to do something similar wit-

He went to walk around the town, but I couldn't just drive back home and leave him in the snowy town. I never liked walking about but the trip seemed to be doing F well so what's an hour or so walking around.

There was a library but I combed through that my first month here, to little interest. There was a coffee shop but it was far too populated to give any sense of relax. But then I found it, a book shop.

Empty, Dusty and may have smelled of dead cat. It was fantastic. The lights were old with that nice yellow glow, flickering and loud. The shelves were a dark wood and dusty beyond belief, perhaps a walnut, wood was never my thing. The back was practically made for me, hand written accounts and journals, ecological studies and records that were the only copies.

To say I was excited was an understatement. The cashier was a fine looking young gentleman, most likely my age. He seemed kind enough so I thought nothing of it when he watch me move around the shop. With the state of the shop I can safely assume that he doesn't get many costumers.

I went to purchase my books, and the worker was very friendly. The first person here that shared my intrigue with it oddities. Complementing my book choices no less.

Then F walked in, he had two coffees and his satchel seemed bigger so safe to assume he bought other things. But there was a look to his face the same one he gives me when I talk to my muse for 'too long' in his words. I always took it as him being perhaps unsure of the greater power. I was never good at reading emotions, but have I mistaken his jealously? It would seem so if I knew what there was to be jealous about.

But the coffee he brought me was perfect. The way I love in, black coffee, no sugar, no creamer. Me and F left after I put my books in my own bag.

The cashier asked for my phone number to discuss books later, which I don't have as my equipment interferes with any telephone lines so I had to decline. I would have said I be back but I'd be lying if did, as me and F's schedule wouldn't fit a whole other escapade to town.

I would have explained but F seemed to want to leave so I politely declined.

We made way back to my truck and started to drive up the long rode to my cabin. Another moment I was grateful for the coffee. As my car absorbs what ever weather is outside and triples it.

Bitter caffeine as a hand warm what could be better. I would have played my favorite CD of eurythmics, but F was never a fan. Recently buying me an ABBA's singles when he went to the grocery store last month for that very reason. He was idlily tapping to the music, but he seemed off.

He was upset.

I was never one for emotions or feelings. I was always the logic, that's what I was good at. I can solve equations the length of a room but can't figure out how to ask a frie what upset him. We were a few minutes from my place, I was internally fighting if I should speak, but I understood people enough to know I Should, just I didn't know what exactly to say.

I asked him what he got. Great start, he's engaged and if he doesn't want to talk he doesn't have to. Perfect.

A present for his son.

Shit.

He got divorced last year, as she wanted him to be with them. I didn't know much, its was just messy. He missed his son, not so his wife but it was a touchy subject.

I forgot most enjoy time with family.

Family hasn't been the same for a while so sending holiday letters sufficed any familial need. Meeting F at collage, he is the only other person who hasn't cared about my freakishness, that I'm ever grateful for him. And I can't help but feel guilty about his family problems. He wouldn't have left if I didn't ask. The more to value his companionship.

He asked about my own purchases, and told him. The journals, the record reports, the primary historical recounts. An utter drug to my brain, he seemed to be engaged till I mentioned the book seller.

Off put? Upset? He wasn't happy. Bitter? Maybe, but I suppose that mixed with his family business upset him. But I didn't know how to ask. 'hey F why are you so upset about a bookseller?'

Stupid, I know, but easy to ignore.

We pulled into the drive way and rushed inside and hung our frosted coats. It was my turn to make dinner, F went off to his room to read like he does. But unlike usual he came down while I was still cooking. He seemed less upset which was good, he sat at the table and watch me cook as he read a book.

I was no chef, so I felt so- observed. It was no different then when we worked, me doing a tasks as he read. But this felt, intimate? for lack of better word. The dim kitchen light blub that was in desperate need of a change flickered its orange hue that filled that small room.

It was a Friday, so it was so it was excusable for the two of us to have a beer or two while we watch trash television the living room. F hated them but I had a soft spot for them as they were what plagued the tv set my mother had.

We barely watched the show and more added our own commentary, We cracked much needed dumb jokes in the tv lit room. Its blue filter light our only sources to see.

F had his glasses off, and was sat next to me on the couch.

It felt right.

A feeling that felt long distance that he only seemed to bring.

Its no mystery that girls were a mystery to me. Relationships felt so unnecessary, and I dance around the thought of the alterative. Which- I don't think I'll go into now.

He commented something about some 3? maybe for 4 dramatized way relationship that was going on. His dead seriousness made it possible to not laugh out. Holding my stomach and bending over, sides hurting. One of those that aren't funny but still somehow are.

That night was nice. It was a good refresher, I bid him good night and headed to bed myself. Sleep was different, usually I'm so exhausted I pass out, but tonight I just couldn't. My thoughts were somewhere else.

[darkniters]

i wrote this in 2021 for cscoop but i will replace coopers name with schlatts. enjoy!

-

"very sorry about having to delay the video again! i'm working really really hard on it, just give me some extra time, and i'll have it up by next week!"

... i feel bad for lying to the fans, but what am i supposed to say in a situation like this. 'oh sorry loyal viewers of the y/c/n youtube channel, ive been a bit busy having a child.'

i hadn't told anyone about her, and i wasn't really planning on it until she was old enough to conveniently walk into my recording studio. i made a really bad decision months ago when i decided to fuck a dude i didn't know, but the outcome was truly someone beautiful.

i sighed and decided that i should maybe try get a video out by next week, so i get off my ass and head to my recording room. however, before i do so i go to my own room to check on my little girl.

she's sleeping peacefully in the dimly lit room, nothing but her soft breathing being heard. i smile, not in a million years would i expect this to happen. when i found out i was pregnant i was mortified, i told nobody, i still haven't, what will they think of me if they found out i just fucked a random dude? i'd be slaughtered for sure. however, when i first lay eyes on her, i knew that she deserved all the love in the world, for she was perfect.

instead of staring at my child for the next hour i decide to finally get out of the room and work on the video i promised. it was already recorded, just editing to do, so the fun parts already over with. instead of wearing headphones, i let the sound come straight from my speakers, with my pc turned down extremely low, just to not disturb my daughters slumber.

the videos not too hard to edit, just a gameplay of castle crashers with the sleep deprived gang. the memories of the recording session rushed back as i was editing, a smile was brought to my face.

"go dude get his ass!' i yell into my mic.

'you're fuckin alive too y/n, help me out here!' schlatt responds 'besides, you were all talk earlier, what was that you said 'ougghhh i'm sooo good at castle crashers i finished all of it on the original xbox, you guys wont get any opportunity to shine.'

the rest of the group laugh as schlatt teases. mika ended up getting the final kill on the boss.

'god, you two tease SO much, why dont you two just fuck already?' mika joked. the group laughed once more, however, i was left thinking... is this really what everyone else thinks? do they know im pregnant? oh god...

'you good y/n? shit was a joke please dont think too much about it. i dont wanna get too many thoughts into your head.' mika interrupts your thought process.

'dont worry moka, i was just thinkin of a good response, since schlatts mouth is a little too full at the moment.' i smile, leading up to a bit, hoping schlatt gets where i'm trying to go with it. i never actually thought of cooper as such, however, the idea was intriguing... i wouldn't say no if he ever asked me out... and with this little dude on the way, itd be a good help.

'my mouths too full? what the fucks that supposed to mean?' schlatt quizzes, surprisingly he doesn't know what i'm leading up to. thats not like jschlatt...

'your mouths filled up with deez nuts dog, jesus christ' you giggle, schlatt groans in response, a bang on his desk being heard over the discord call. once again the other members in the call erupted into laughter.

'how'd you miss that coming, schlatt! i saw that shit from 300 miles away!' aztro struggles to say, her voice filled with laughter.

'surley.' mika simply says.

'look shut up, i'm a bit stup- oH SHIT WATCH YOUR ASSES WE HAVENT SAVED' schlatt yells out, but it's a little bit too late, as each knights health runs to 0.

the video was edited in the span of 3 hours, and with regular checks on the wee doll, everything was going fine.

you let your subscribers know that the video was done and ready to be uploaded with a tweet and youtube community post.

'hey dudes! the videos all ready to upload! see you guys again next week!'

as soon as i posted, likes and quote retweets were flying in. the people in the replies were ecstatic, and all of the dudes were dropping 'welcome backs :D' in the comments.

however, when i saw the response from schlatt, i swear my smile beamed more.

'welcome back fuckhead, we hangin later, yea? awesome, i'll be an hour ;)'

though my smile didn't last, for i looked down to see my daughter in my arms. oh. fuck.

what's schlatt gonna say when he sees you?!

hes gonna think im a whore! oh fuck my friendships gone hes gonna tell everyone, and im just getting feelings for him and everythings goin- woah hold on.

. . .

it sounds so right to say that?

i have feelings... for johnathan jschlatt...

i have feelings for johnathan jschlatt...

i have FEELINGS for JOHNATH okay we get it.

there's definitely a blush on my face, but i gotta put this newly discovered truth to the side, cause this silly little goobers here. what do i do?! i cant just stuff her into a closet! my plans foiled!

aegghhh...

this panic ensures for an hour, until that dreadful moment where theres a knock on the door.

i put her back into my bedroom, hoping that theres a chance that maybe she'll sleep again?

and walk back down the hall...

to the front door...

and slowly pull the handle...

to reveal...

...

schlatt, of course, who else was i expecting.

"schlatty!" i exclaim, pulling him into a tight hug.

"ey, whats up y/n," schlatt responds, return the hug, placing his head atop of mine. "you've been offline for a bit and wanted to see if everythings good. i hope you don't mind me suddenly coming over." he chuckles.

i smile in relief, hes so chill all the time. "don't worry, i've just been a bit.. pre-occupied, i'm perfect as usual dude." i close the door after schlatt, and we both walk into the living room.

theres no shortage of conversations, johnathan talks about how him, mika and pandah recently had a massive clear out, and he found an old glow in the dark ring i won for him in an arcade years ago.

-

"'we're only 20 points away from being able to get anything from the prize counter, come on john, lets play some easy mini games!' a 18 year old y/n replays in your mind.

'you want to get something so bad get your own points... i'll keep watch though cause i know you too well, y/n.' johnathan responds. 'besides, you wouldn't want me to miss if you got something huge, right?'

i stick my tongue out, preparing to spin a wheel with numerous numbers of points on them. it finally lands on 100 points, which definitely isn't the most but it's not the lowest amount either.

'YOOOOO!' you yell in unison, claiming your points.

as we arrive at the counter, i see this glow in the dark ring and decide 'john will hate me for this'

so i purchased it, and jokingly proposed to johnathan. to my surprise, he said yes, and wore it back to his house, his parents question it, i remember. they've been very keen on johnathan and i getting together, ever since we were younger. too bad my plans changed...

as we both kept reminiscing of the past and our food arrived, everything was going quite well. she was silent for majority of the time schlatt was in my home, which is really lucky.

we would occasionally go silent, and during that time i would scan johnathans face. he'd catch me starting from time, and he'd stare at me with forced wider eyes. we'd laugh at this.

unfortunately the moment was ruined, for a small, frail cry could be heard down the hall. at this moment i could feel my soul leave my body FUCK

"dude..." johnathan begins hesitantly. he looks extremely confused. "you.. you fuckin... child dlc?"

you both laugh at the comment, however he still looks lost. the kids probably best not to be left crying, so i head to the room to bring her down the hall. i come back, and his face shows a bit more understanding.

"woah." he gawks. his head relaxing on his shoulders and his muscles un-tensing. a smile is brought to my face.

at this point the small wails from the girl has stopped, her tiny frame in your arms as you sit down next to johnathan, a little closer than last.

"shes my little dude! sorry i didnt really say anything... i didnt want anyone to know, especially the youtube dudes..." at the end i trail off, thinking how stupid that sounds. these guys are some of my closest friends, why would they judge me for something like this?

one of his arms wrap around my shoulder and the other wraps around the little girl in my arms. theres a tranquil smile on his face, as he looks down at her.

"why'd you think hiding something this cool was good idea, y/n? look at her! she's awesome, i'm sure the dudes will love her!" he laughs. he leans his head against mine, and my face grows warm. "still surprised you 'got some' though, yknow what im sayin?" you can feel a faint smile tug your lips.

schlatts finger runs down the childs arm softly, and ends at her hand. he stopped and stared as her tiny fingers gripped around his finger. truth be told, he was astatic that his long time friend had a child. he was so happy to see his friend happy, and to have her here in his arms, and her daughter made everything better.

he loved you.

he kept staring at the little girl in my arms, his eyes unmoving, but there were another set of eyes that were unmoving.

my eyes kept on schlatts face, a dazed smile plastered on both of our faces. unnoticed, i put my hand over johnathans which rested on my shoulder.

his eyes move to look at mine, a shimmer in his eyes as his pupils grow. i study his face, his pasty physique now grazed with a soft pink, and his lips slightly parted. his eyes seem to be doing the same as yours.

his hands turning around to grasp mine, and just now am i noticing how silent the room is, all that is heard is the breathing from the three of us. a nervous smile once again graces my lips, leaning my back into johnathan a little more.

after a couple of more seconds of decision on wether or not this is what we should be doing, our mouths finally meet.

it was a very quick kiss, but we take no time at all to go back for a second, then a third.

and then a fourth.

once finished, we both smiled and looked down, both of our faces a rose like color. johnathans hands still caught by the girl in my arms, and my own.

"i could get used to this." johnathan says after some time, his head leaning into mine. all three of us falling asleep on one another. i hum in response, with a small chuckle coming through. i turn my head and give him another kiss on the cheek, and as i do it his cheeks turn red again. some of his brown hair falls down closer to his face as he looks at me again, simply to return the favor.

his lips are slightly chapped, but still feel soft and perfect against yours, he parts first, feeling his finger finally being let go. she had fallen asleep.

"my fingers sweaty... euch" he whispers, making a grossed out noise at the end. he leaned back into you. "love you."

i feel hot again.

"love you too johnathan."

-

this story was better when it wasnt jschlatt dont care hope you enjoyed

[kanmom51]

Dark topic (but not really)

We know jimin says he works 6/7 days of the week in his recent live. What do you think he’s working on?

Like do you think it’s something for when he leaves (like on the street) or are you leaning more towards what Yoongi said “do another album and a tour” and that he’s working on another EP/album with the many western producers he met last year that weren’t on face to have enough songs so maybe not tour like Yoongi but enough to do maybe 1-3 concerts in Seoul/US.

Jimin seems genuinely happy & excited. His sassy & suspicious reaction to the album question he chose to read is what’s making me lean towards album cause we know jimin isn’t good at lying/acting. (Bonus his smile to when Yoongi said to make another album and he suddenly started finding the couch interesting)

Truthfully I have no idea. So, I'm going to babble a little here, give you some of my own thoughts.

On the one hand I find it hard to believe he will be releasing another album. The timing, it's problematic. If indeed we are still waiting on an album from JK and Tae all before the end of the year, when will JM fit in his album all before enlistment, which I do think will be anytime after JK's promotions and before the start of 2024. And we definitley do not want another Face 9 day promotional period now do we?

On the other hand we kind of know he's already done some music that hasn't made it's way into Face, and Face was a mini album while the others so far have released full sized albums.

JM did say he's working most of the week, but he also told us what that work entails, his working hours, and to tell you the truth, what he described doesn't sound like him working on an album. Even when his sleep pattern isn't wacky he's telling us he starts his day pretty much at noon, and at night studying English. Yes, he's working, but not at an intensity that you would expect if it was on an album. Not at the intensity we know he was working when he was working with Pdogg on Face. And I will also say that if he was working on a second album, he wouldn't be doing it at Hybe. There, I said it. There was a reason JM worked on his album at Pdogg's. And I don't think that reason has changed since. If there was a new album nearing, most of the work wouldn't be done in the Hybe building, and that is not the case at the moment.

I'd even go as far as to say that his farewell song, that one is probably already wrapped and done - the song itself.

I suspect he's busy working on future music (perhaps writing, perhaps something that he has no issue to work on at Hybe like), filming content for when he's away, preparing for something that entails needing English. That one has me intrigued actually. Both him and JK working on their English. JK I get, his album around the corner and the company obviously wanting to push it internationally and more so in the States. But JM, why JM? If all that is left is a goodbye song and enlistment.

Anyway, like I said, I have no idea what so ever, lol.

[akihabaradivision]

Criss's Thoughts on Obihiro Division

Hisoka Tetsumasu

"Hisoka-san's ranch? Oh, it's definitely on my list of places to explore! I mean, with all the history he has, there's got to be some kind of supernatural energy there, right? Horses are such spiritual creatures too; they have this wise look, like they've seen things we can't even imagine. I haven't had the chance to sneak onto the ranch yet, but believe me, it's tempting. I've heard stories about places where animals live being crossroads for spirits, and I'm curious if Hisoka-san's ranch is one of those places."

"I wouldn't be surprised if there were spirits lingering around, maybe even watching over the horses. It would be fascinating to investigate and see if there's any truth to the tales. Plus, I think it would be pretty cool to meet Hisoka-san in person. Despite his past, I bet he has some interesting stories to tell. And who knows? Maybe the spirits are drawn to the place because of him. It's all speculation at this point, but I’m eager to find out more. Ghosts or no ghosts, Hisoka's ranch is definitely a place where the veil between worlds feels thin."

Daiki Kamiyama

"Daiki-kun's superhero antics are totally cool! I mean, who doesn't love a bit of mystery and adventure under the cover of night? We've bumped into each other a few times while I'm out on my paranormal investigations, and let me tell you, it's always a blast when he's around. His enthusiasm for superheroes and doing good is just infectious. I think it's awesome that he's trying to make a difference, even in his own unique way."

"We've explored a couple of spooky spots together, and Daiki-kun's bravery really shines through. It's like he's in his element, you know? I can't help but admire his dedication to his hero persona. Sure, it might be a little risky, but life's too short to not chase after what you believe in. Plus, having a 'superhero' by your side when you're chasing ghosts? That's just epic! I'd say we make a pretty great team when it comes to exploring the unknown!"

Jack Verrill

"Jack-san is like a character straight out of a manga! The stoic butler with a mysterious air about him—it's just like something you'd read in a story, and I find it pretty amusing! Whenever I'm hanging out with Daiki-kun and Jack-san is there, I can't resist teasing him a bit. I’ll sometimes just throw out a classic line like, 'The butler did it!' when we're talking about mysteries. He usually just gives me this look that's a mix of exasperation and amusement, which only makes it funnier!"

"Honestly, I think Jack-san's presence adds a whole layer of intrigue to any situation. He's got this vibe that he knows more than he lets on, and I respect that. It's clear he cares a lot about Daiki-kun, and his dedication to his role is something you don’t see every day. But I do wonder what secrets he's keeping. With someone like him, you just know there's a wealth of stories behind those quiet eyes. Maybe one day, he'll share some of them with us. Until then, I'll keep enjoying the mystery that is Jack-san, the enigmatic butler. Because, after all, he is just... one hell of a butler." Criss giggles to herself.

Veiled Vanguard

"I like these guys! They're an interesting bunch! I've hung out with them a few times, and it's always an adventure! Hisoka-san's ranch has this mysterious vibe that's just so captivating, and Daiki-kun's enthusiasm for heroics is super contagious. Even Jack-san, with his stoic butler act, has a certain charm. They're like characters from the paranormal fanfics online come to life, and I love that!"

"When it comes to facing them in the Division Rap Battle, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit torn. On one hand, it's going to be epic. But on the other, I've gotten to know them, and they’re not just opponents; they're friends too. It's going to be tough to go against them, but that's the nature of the game, right? We all want to win, but more than that, we want to share our stories, our music, and our hearts. So, no matter what happens, I'll give it my all and hope that our friendship can withstand the competition."

[sunlightandsuffering]

Lys, what's the deal with frat boy Eren and feminist Mikasa's past? I know they met at least in high school and are neighbors, that their friendship took a turn for the worse. Did Eren take Mikasa's virginity in high school or college?

omgomg, okay this is getting added to my drabble doc lol, so don't be alarmed if I copy and paste this and ur ask appears again on another post lol!!! But honestly I think I have to figure them out, I really like them being like chilhood friends first, like it jsut adds a fun extra layer to their dynamic! Bc they can drive back home from school together and u have their moms conspiring to get them together and Mikasa is like I HATE HIM!! And u know they do Christmas Eve together and shit lmfaoooo and it causes MUCH chaos !!! BUT i think i wrote a drabble that sort of explains it already, don't know where it went tho lmfao.

But basically, at some point in high school, Mikasa goes Feminist Ultra TM and it becomes part of her personality, and Eren is all for it at first. AND THEN, it begins bc men are awful and Eren is like hOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THIS!?!?!? Bc all of Mikasa's friends start getting boyfriends and as occurs in high school relationships, drama ensues and jealousy and it all just poisons Mikasa against men further. And there is Eren, her best friend, 'only man she trusts' AND HE'S BASICALLY BEEN COCK BLOCKED MY FEMINISM!!! She's like I'm never dating, ew men. And Eren is sitting there like 😦😧🧍🏻 I AM A MAN??? I found the drabble tho i'll paste it at the bottom and u can sort of see what I'm going for? Idk if it makes sense tho lol!! Essentially tho, Eren is kind of hopeless bc Mikasa is always hating on men, and he's like a little kid, any attention is good attention, even if it's bad. And so he become MENINIST EREN !! Just bc it gets a rise out of her, and at the very least, she's looking at him now as more than just her wholesome best friend who doesn't count as a man lmfao.

As for the virginity part, as much as I'd love for it to be in high school and have them like have a more solid history, I think it happens in college purely bc that's just where their relationship really sparks ! But idk i gotta get my thoughts together before I write a HARDCORE drabble for them, this was just me spitballing i think

It’s not that Eren hates women. He doesn’t, he really doesn’t, he actually loves women, adores them. 

Mikasa, his childhood best friend turned enemy, well she just brings it out in him. 

He loves watching her get riled up, the fire in those beautiful silvery eyes of hers, it was intoxicating. Fighting became foreplay, and before he knew it, he was a glorified meninist, whatever the fuck that is. 

He can still remember the day it started, the tenth grade probably, Mikasa merrily stomping into class, armed with new knowledge: the wage gap, benevolent sexism, implicit gender bias. And Eren had watched, with horrified eyes as his tender spark of romance with the world’s most beautiful girl, the love of his life was crushed, lit aflame right in front of him… by fucking feminism of all things. Because how was he supposed to compete with a concept, even attempt a relationship when there were limitless facts about how awful men were? How was he supposed to compete with the faults of mankind? Thus, Mikasa didn’t date, she was waiting for a boy so perfect, that he could combat sexism itself, a feminist ally she said. 

Newsflash, they didn’t really exist, at least not in Eren’s experience, and thus, Eren became the very antithesis of everything she represented. And well, here they are. 

He’d been intrigued the first time it happened, an accident at a frat party when she was too drunk to remember much of anything at all. They’d made out a little before snuggling in his bed and Eren had slept contently for the first time in years.

He’d woken up the following morning to a scowl on her face and a hand on his dick, demanding he teach her what all the fuss was about. They’ve been enemies with benefits ever since. 

And Eren finds that despite their rabid dislike of one another, that he quite enjoys their new dynamic.

[jafndaegur]

Love like You

Mystic Messenger

Jumin Han x Reader

Calling Jumin feels awkward. You've only been in the messenger for two days and hardly know anyone. But the nagging feeling of the conversation between Seven and Jumin leaves a horrible pit in your stomach.

"I heard Jumin is gay..." Seven had said.

If you said the statement hadn't piqued your interest, you'd be lying. After all, no one believed you when you said you weren't a girl—just because Seven had disclaimed it and said you looked like a girl. Your voice being so high doesn't help the case, but a book cover can be very different from the actual story it holds.

I'm very open-minded. The statement you make was hurried and quick, you had wanted to make sure you had mention something in case Jumin is...well, is like you. Yet somehow that simple text of yours was turned on itself and made into another joke.

"Isn't it rather late to be calling?" Jumin's voice suddenly and tersely cuts through the line.

You want to make it right.

"Jumin." Your voice is much more serious than you intended.

On the other end, you can hear him sit up a little more, readjusting and assessing. "We just spoke in the messenger. Is everything alright?"

"No." You say evenly, taking a deep breath. Knowing with the corporate heir, the best way to approach this would be calmly and logically. "At least I don't believe so."

"I'm sorry, " he says it so genuinely, that you wish you'd clarified why things weren't okay first. "While I'm not equipped to handle formal complaints in regards to the RFA, I will be sure to pass on any concerns to V."

"No, I wanted to apologize. To you."

"To me? As far as I know, you've made no transgressions."

"For what happened in the chatroom, I wanted to apologize to you." You say earnestly.

The sigh he makes is less understanding and more annoyed. "It's a ridiculous prank that Luciel and the others enjoy prolonging. The fact that you too have jumped on such a joke is not surprising—"

"I meant what I said!" You interject quickly, hoping you catch him before he decides to hang up. "Really and truly. Such affairs to gossip like that, they're private and personal. And to make light of it is a slight on that trust of privacy. But...I genuinely meant what I said."

He says nothing, his breath a soft and steady pattern for you to listen to. You close your eyes and wonder what he looks like in that moment. Is he disgusted? Intrigued? Or entirely disinterested altogether?

"It is no one's business in regards to who you love," you say softly. "And who, whether it's a man, a woman...or just a person making their way—it shouldn't matter. If you love them and they love you in return, and you're willing to treat each other as equals as you work through life together...then what does it matter?"

"You surprise me by the hour," Jumin finally says. It is a gentle and murmured comment. "I admit I've never given it much thought. But I like how straight-forward you've made it."

"So you're not—?"

"It's never been a forefront concern of mine, but I suppose I don't have a preference either way."

You smile to yourself.

"Perhaps, at the end of the day, I would love a person making their way, doing their best." You swear there is something knowing in his voice and you can't help but wonder...

"Jumin, I—"

And once again he cuts you short. "I'd like to disclaim, I do not wish for you to feel like you must share your own experience as I've shared mine...if there's something you're not inclined to disclose yet, don't feel like you must."

Your heart beats a bit against your ribcage. It's a lovely and anticipant flutter. "In my defense, I don't think I've been subtle."

"Oh?" He asks, bemusement seeping through the tone.

"I did, after all, come distinctly forward and say I wasn't a girl," you laugh.

At Jumin's hesitation, you can practically hear the gears turning in his head. "...are you a man?"

"Perhaps..." You smile. "Perhaps I'm just an ordinary person making my way and doing my best."

He chuckles, it is low and warm. You can't help the feeling of your heart and chest warming, like the slow steep of liquor once you've taken a drink.

"Well said," Jumin murmurs.

[hawkinsglasscloset]

Practice Run (OC X Canon Kiss Week 2024)

Word count: 2k

Warning: none

A/n: My second collab with the most amazing @mrprettywhenhecries for @theocxcanonweek day 6: An Intimate Moment. This is part of our Stranger Timeline Verse with Stranger Things characters. Hope you all enjoy it <3

[Masterlist]

"If you had to pick a boy from school to date... who would you pick?" Blossom asked, not sure if she'd wanna know the answer. She was lying on her stomach, flipping through a magazine in Robin's bedroom where they held one of many slumber parties.

"Uh..." Robin hesitated, not knowing what to say. She was so tired of lying to her best friend about her feelings, but what was she supposed to say? That she was in love with her?

"I don't think I'd pick anyone. They're all either ugly or boring, the only nice and sorta good-looking one is Dustin but he's too young for me," Blossom murmured. Truth was she never liked a girl before, but when Robin was there she felt... something different.

"Yeah, me either. They're all too... immature," she exclaimed, glad that Blossom had answered the way she had, not only to find out she didn't like anyone else, but so she could latch onto her answer as well.

Blossom sat up to face Robin with a little smirk. "But have you ever dated anyone?" The question definitely had ulterior motives, she desperately wanted to know if her friend liked someone and if so, what her type was.

"Not... exactly. Okay, no, I haven't," Robin exclaimed, making a face. "Have you?" She wondered reluctantly.

"I've dated one guy but it didn't last too long..." Blossom murmured. "It was just a little weird with him, you know? Like that's not how it's meant to be."

“Oh?” Robin asked, perking up before quickly clearing her throat. “I mean, why was it weird?” She asked, crossing her legs under her.

"He didn't treat me like I wanted to be treated, I felt attracted to him, but... it's like boys have a few nice bits and are attached to the rest, which is trash." 

Robin couldn’t help but laugh. “I won’t disagree with you there,” she snorted.

"But um... does that mean you never kissed a boy before?" Blossom asked, feeling a little flutter in her stomach, even though she didn't fully understand it.

“I’ve… never kissed anyone,” she admitted, her face flaring brightly and suddenly feeling very hot, her palms starting to sweat.

A little gasp left Blossom's lips when she noticed how flushed (and absolutely adorable) her friend was.  

"That's okay, everyone has their moment, nothing wrong with that," she assured. "But I don't get it. You're so beautiful, you're like... waking up in the morning and seeing the most wonderful day out the window. Your smile is like the sun, your freckles are so cute, and your eyes are gorgeous! Who wouldn't wanna kiss you?"

“I—“ Robin’s voice faltered and she only felt more flustered. “I’m none of those things!” She exclaimed, bleating an awkward laugh.

"You are though, you're also intelligent and funny and kind. You're like the whole package, anyone who doesn't ask you out is stupid."  

Oh my God, it's me... I'm stupid, was all Blossom could think.

“You’re biased cause you’re my friend,” Robin argued, trying to calm her racing heart. Why did it feel like her friend meant all those things she’d said… in more than a friendly way? 

"If you were ugly and uninteresting, I could've just kept my mouth shut so I wouldn't hurt your feelings," Blossom pointed out. "I'm not the most experienced kisser ever, but I mean... I know a few things if you ever want tips."

"Oh, uh, what kind of tips?" Robin asked, intrigued, but a little nervous.

"I don't know, like what to do with your tongue and your hands... stuff I wish I knew before," Blossom shrugged.

"Okay, I guess I could use all the help I can get, though I really doubt I'll be kissing anyone soon..." she mumbled.

"You never know. I'd tell you to let the other person take the lead. Your tongue shouldn't be too present, but also not stiff. Try to caress the neck or the hair with your hands so it adds to the sensation."

"Wait, how do you mean, your tongue shouldn't be stiff?" Robin chuckled, a little confused by her explanation.

"If can't be stiff, like hard. It needs to be relaxed, but not relaxed like a thirsty dog just... soft."

"I think I get what you mean, but it's hard to really understand without doing it, I guess," Robin mumbled, looking down at her legs when she realized how that sounded -- like she wanted Blossom to show her.

"Why don't you try it? I can show you... just for practice," the other girl suggested, trying to sound extra casual, as if she wouldn't jump at the first chance to kiss her best friend.

Robin's face flared bright red. "Wait, what?" she exclaimed, swallowing thickly, hastily trying to work moisture back into her mouth.

"Sorry, that was a stupid idea. I'm so sorry, I just thought... it would be easier to show you with practice," Blossom had to resist the urge to hide under a pillow, she felt like such a creep. 

"N-no! No, it's okay! It just took me by surprise is all," Robin exclaimed quickly, not wanting her friend to feel bad. However, she also didn't want her to know how eager she was to kiss her. "We can do that," she said, having to take a steadying breath.

"You don't have to if you think it would be gross or something," Blossom murmured, moving closer to her and taking her hand.

"I don't think it would be gross," Robin assured her, a little too insistently. "So... how do we...?" She murmured, barely able to breathe as they shifted closer.

"Just relax and give it a try like this," Blossom whispered slowly approaching her until their lips touched softly. The kiss was slow and delicate, almost as if they moved in slow motion. 

Robin didn't think her face could get any hotter, she nearly felt as if she were about to faint. Blossom's lips were softer than she could imagine, and she had imagined.

Slowly, Blossom parted her lips and her tongue found Robin's. She didn't mind her inexperience, it didn't take away from the moment and how amazing it felt. That was definitely what a kiss was meant to feel like.

“Oh—“ Robin gasped as her friend's tongue brushed softly against hers, but she didn’t pull away, her hands balling in the blanket beneath her, fighting the urge to kiss her deeper and make a fool of herself by shoving her tongue down her throat.

"That was pretty good," Blossom finally pulled away, looking quite red in the face. "But you can use more of your tongue, that was a little shy. Let's try one more time."

“I was just afraid of-of using too much,” Robin replied shakily, wetting her lips before leaning back in.

"It's okay, if it's too much, I'll let you know," Blossom murmured, burying her fingers into the other girl's hair. This kiss felt more passionate, more heated. Even though it was just for practice... of course.

Robin's breath hitched as she leaned into the kiss, feeling a little more confident this time, her hands grasping at the other girl's waist, losing herself for a moment in the kiss.

And just like that, nothing else mattered, it felt like they were meant to be, two princesses in a romance novel. Nothing had ever felt more right. "Yeah, I think you got it," Blossom breathed. "That was perfect."

"Oh, right," Robin breathed, coming back to her senses as they parted, remembering that this was just practice and that it wasn't supposed to mean anything. "You really think so?" she asked, trying to steady her voice, not wanting her friend to catch the hint of disappointment behind her words.

"I do, I think anyone would be very lucky to kiss you," Blossom said, fighting tears as she realized Robin would probably never want to kiss her again. Maybe she should've lied and said it wasn't good enough... just to get a few more practice runs.

"Wait, B, are you okay?" Robin exclaimed, noticing the tears caught in her lashes. "What's wrong?" She asked, her chest suddenly tight with worry, afraid she'd upset her.

"I'm fine, really, I'm okay," Blossom nodded, wiping her eyes quickly and looking the other way. "I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. So silly."

"Hey, you're not silly," Robin insisted, gently turning the other girl's face back to her and instinctively reaching out to brush the tears from her cheek. "Please tell me?" She whispered.

"I can't," she murmured, more tears rolling down her cheeks. "If I tell you, you might never wanna see me again or be my friend and I can't do that."

"Nothing you could tell me would make me not wanna be your friend anymore," Robin assured her, nearly choking on her words, her hands still cupping her friend's face. "Even if you killed someone. I'd help you hide the body," she joked though her voice wavered.

"I never felt like this before," Blossom started, taking a deep breath to gather the courage to admit what had been in her mind for months. "But when I'm with you it's like the rest of the world doesn't matter and everything is perfect. You fix what I never knew was broken... I like you."

Robin blinked. She suddenly felt like she'd been dunked in an ice bath. She had to be dreaming. All the times she'd imagined Blossom saying those words, she'd never really thought it would happen. 

"You... do?" She breathed, almost afraid to speak, afraid if she did the bubble would pop and the dream would end.

"I do, I think you're the coolest, most amazing, prettiest girl in the world. Not an army of Daryl Hannahs and Sissy Spaceks could change my mind. Your laugh and your voice are the first things I wanna hear in the morning and the last I wanna hear before bed."

Robin's eyes fluttered, a tear rolling down her cheek and when she opened her mouth to speak a sob came out instead. "I like you too, Blossom," she finally whispered, her voice cracking. "I've liked you for so long, but I was afraid--"

"I was afraid! I thought you liked that boy from Canada you told me about. I didn't know exactly what was going on, I've liked boys before, but I like you. I don't know if that means I'm a lesbian... a half lesbian? Is there such thing as a half lesbian?"

"I only made him up because I didn't want you to think I was pathetic. This whole time, I only liked you," Robin exclaimed, letting out a wet laugh. "I think that means you're bisexual," she said, pressing an overjoyed kiss to Blossom's mouth, kissing her urgently.

The other girl, in turn, kissed her back with the same enthusiasm, almost getting on top of her as she caressed the back of her neck and her dirty blonde hair.  

"You could never be pathetic, you're like... like a gorgeous mermaid goddess that I can't get enough of," she giggled.

Robin let out a full-bodied laugh. "You're the gorgeous mermaid goddess!" she exclaimed, kissing all over Blossom's face giddily. "Fuck, I can't believe this is really happening!" she cried, holding tightly to the other girl.

"Me neither, you're like a dream," Blossom leaned against her shoulder. "I wanna keep you all to myself and never share with anyone ever again."

"I'm okay with that," Robin laughed. "Does that mean... we're girlfriends?" she wondered, falling to the bed with the other girl in her arms.

"I think it does... we're girlfriends!" Blossom shrieked in excitement. "You're all mine now! This is perfect."

Robin couldn't stop the giddy laughter that filled her chest and she pressed her forehead to her girlfriend's, her cheeks hurting from how much she was smiling. "You know... I think I might need some more practice at this kissing thing. Think you could help me some more?" She teased, tracing the line of Blossom's jaw with her finger.

"What sort of teacher would I be if I refused?" She winked, pulling her closer again.

[shywhispersunknown]

Casual Sex, The New Thief of joy.

I've recently been super intrigued by the story of Samson and Delilah. I couldn't for the life of me understand what was it about Delilah that drove Samson so crazy. Why did he love her and what made him stay with her after she repeatedly hurt him? I tore through that story at least 3 times searching for anything that would give me the answer I was looking for but came up with nothing. The Bible doesn't provide much backstory to their relationship. It doesn't specify if they were married or not but it does highlight her lack of love and respect for him which ultimately lead to his demise.

Throughout their love affair there are several instances where Delilah unabashedly set out to destroy Samson. Now I wont get into the entire story , but Samson was a Nazarite and his power source was his hair. He was a chosen man by God and his mission was to defeat the Philistines. Delilah, unbeknownst to Samson was hired by the Philistines to discover his secret with the hopes of capturing him. My girl would openly ask Samson what was the secret to his strength, and then would turn around and set him up! She did this at least 3 times and the wild thing is, Samson kept coming back for more! She'd even gaslight him, accusing him of lying to her and not really loving her. Sprung off the na'mean, he eventually gave in and told her his secret. And the rest is history. As I reflect on my last few years of dating, there are aspects of this story I can totally relate to. Follow me.

In my experience casual sex has caused me more harm then good. As I'd told myself time and time again, "this is your single season, you don't need a boyfriend". As much as that may have been true, it still didn't negate the fact that I wanted something or someone in some sort of capacity. 2019 I met my Delilah (we'll call him Dillon). On my quest of healing and being liberated from a tumultuous relationship, I somehow found myself entangled with a particular gentleman. Ill save you the details of how we met but the attraction was instant, and much like Samson, I was totally smitten. He didn't woo me in a traditional sense, but there was just something about him that really drew me in. I was admittedly lonely and love starved and truthfully it just felt good to have some male energy in my life. I didn't let on about my lack of love, but I feel like he knew. Our 1st date told me everything I needed to know about him. We were at a bar having a great time, and in walked someone he knew. The 2 locked eyes and the associate was visibly uneasy. Dillon excused himself and directed the guy outside. A few minutes later he returned and smiled then said "now we drink all night for free" I fell in love right there...*facepalm. We spent months galavanting through the city, every encounter was so random. I found him exciting, intriguing and incredibly sexy. We had a crazy connection and I wanted more of him. He'd told me he loved me several times, and I echoed the same sentiment, but every time Id mentioned us getting together...there was a pause. He'd give me excuses on why we shouldn't be together...begrudgingly I accepted it and tried to move on. But somehow or another, he always managed to draw me back in. He was sweet to me...(or so I imagined)he'd do the simple things I loved. Flowers just because, a playlist expressing his "true" feelings sent in the middle of the night...and random pop ups whether I was home or not. Sigh...these miniscule acts sown in manipulation would get me every time. I tried to be strong and step away, but I was caught up and couldn't leave him alone. Id pray about this, because although physically I was having a blast, emotionally I was messed up. Id discovered through my superb stalking skills..(kidding!), that he was seeing someone. But not just anyone, an amateur porn chick. With my own eyes Id seen the two in the act on twitter...I was mortified, disgusted and heartbroken. Here I was in the interim begging God to heal my heart , but the 1st pair of muscles and a smile comes my way and I'm ready to break out on the Lord? Some good and faithful servant I was SMH. All those tears man, those sleepless nights...crying out to God to help me get over the pain of the past...and here I was willingly walking back into the same thing.

I never confronted him about what I saw. I just tried to move on with my life. Id go long stretches without talking to him, and he'd oblige and not press the issue if he reached out and I didn't respond. But like clockwork, he'd figure out a way to lure me back in. We'd have these passionate moments and completely and emotionally naked.. Id tell him how much Id missed him and wanted to be his. We'd be great for a week...maybe even a month, but nothing changed. He was still sleeping with her...and me. Somehow or another I mustered up the strength to step away from him once again. I deactivated my socials and was determined to live life off the grid..at least until I got over him. But how was that supposed to happen if I was stalking him from my finsta? The delusion of it all! But I digress lmao..there didn’t seem to be much happening with him anyway. Before I knew it 6 months had passed.... and although parts of me still longed for him I was on my way to forgetting his face. One faithful day in June he reached out. He said he missed me, needed to see me and begged me not to deny him. Our last encounter was different. Although excited to see him, something was off. He didn’t look the same to me anymore…but he was still very much himself. The rizz was on a thousand and I fell for it once again. Completely aware that I had been had, I worked super hard not to get in my fantasy bag. There would never be an "Us" and I needed to let it go. As I steadied myself to take one last peak at his page( because I was shutting my operation down)…I saw that he was very much engaged. Fantasy officially over.

Before I met Dillon, I was on the road to the new me. The Lord was piecing my heart back together. My passion for Him was reignited, and although I had some tough days the love was palpable and real. Dillon seemed to be a beautiful distraction, no doubt. But was the few trysts I had with him worth the pain, shame and embarrassment I felt then? Absolutely not! The condemnation, the depression THE ANXIETY! for obvious reasons, heck no! Samson lost his anointing fooling with Delilah, and I derailed my healing path messing around with Dillon. But God, who is completely faithful gave ya girl another chance.

*The spirit of Delilah is a seducing spirit whose mission is to stop believers from fulfilling their destiny by enticing its target and lulling them to sleep. Believers who fall subject to this spirit forget their true purpose, giving Satan an advantage over God's people.

[skania]

Hai Kanae!

I really like your opinion about Akane and about her dynamic with Aqua! If you don't mind, would you like to share your opinion and also your analysis about chapter 97? Because there's so much I want to know. Aqua said she would like Akane no matter what (people translated this as a fake and Aqua is lying).

But before that Memcho said Aqua was obsessed with Kana (chaper 83). Idk, but obsessing is not healthy for a relationship especially if it is a romance. Obsession is a negative form of love, that's all I know. If we compare it to Akane-Aqua's relationship when they were dating for real it looks healthier. Because Kana always makes Aqua return to his trauma about Ai. Aqua is always too much to think to keep Kana safe and to not let Kana have same bad thing like Ai. Idk if it's because he really love Kana, seeing her as a romantic route. But, all i know and what i see it's just Aqua scared for something happened like Ai. His trauma and his guilt bring him to act like that. More like a shadow of Ai when he look at Kana. In chapter104 is proof that Aqua feels guilty towards Kana (scandal arc). He thought back to when Memcho said Kana got into the idol world because of Aqua. That's why he paid for his mistake by covering up Kana's scandal by exposing the fact that he and Ruby were Ai's children.

When Aqua says that he don't have anything to Kana same like he says that thing to Akane. But he looks unsure about that (Doesn't have anything to Kana chapter102). And after that there's chapter108 and chapter117.

Notes; And for tittle chapter107 they use "Friends" in Japanese 友達( Tomodachi). We can use it to their rationship. But we never see about tittle Akane-Aqua. relationship.

He says the same thing to Akane and Kana he doesn't have anything to do with them because he want to ravenge. Both of them doesn't have to include to his revenge. But there is chapter108 and chapter117 he putting Kana on his revenge. There's chapter116 when Aqua want to reminding (again) Akane not to do anything dangerous. But when Aqua knew that Akane wanted to stop his plan, Aqua or rather Goro challenged Akane.

Akane side; Aqua remembering when he picks Akane up to the studio on a rainy day (chapter97) he said it's was his happy day but the other side Akane thinks that Aqua got smitten to Kana(chapter87). But here (chapter97) Aqua used that memory with Akane as his happy day. I think you right about Akane doesn't know about her own worth. Because she always put someone else first. Also when Memcho talks about his relationship with Akane(chapter108) Aqua said he doesn't need that kind of relationship again (a boyfriend and girlfriend things). Because he had thrown away any naive thoughts about being happy. he made up his mind on this in chapter98.

Note: And for the latest chapter, Aqua has seen Ruby as Sarina so far. I don't know why I'm glad that Akane didn't remind Aqua of his past and his guilt in the past. Akane doesn't remind Aqua/Goro of someone from his past.

I'm sorry if i make you confused abouy my question (T_T). I just want to know about your opinion and analysis.

Hi anon! Thank you for your kind words!

If you don't mind, would you like to share your opinion and also your analysis about chapter 97?

Definitely! I'm planning to write a post about it, I just need to find a way to organize my thoughts. I'd also like to write a post about Aqua's "Freedom" period first because I think that it contextualizes that chapter a lot. I'll probably end up talking about Chapter 108 too because it's super intriguing!

I'm glad you mentioned Chapter 102, though!

It may be just me, but Aka guilt-tripping Aqua about Kana left a bad taste in my mouth. Not because Memcho wasn't right, she was 100% correct. I'd even argue that the fact that Aqua seemingly didn't realize that he is the one and only reason Kana became an idol shows how big a disconnect there is between Kana and his idealized version of her. Since Kana has the qualities that would make her into the idol Sarina strived to be, the idol Aqua projected onto Ai, he convinces himself that he didn't do anything wrong by manipulating her into becoming one, because of course Kana will be an incredible idol. Except Kana never wanted to be one in the first place.

What I don't like about it is how it infantilizes Kana by acting like Aqua bears all the responsibility for her own choices—Aqua, who is already guilt-ridden enough as it is. It also sells Kana short, because it pampers the unhealthy dependency Kana developed on Aqua when it's the very hurdle Kana needed to overcome.

Kana would've been so grossed out if she had heard that conversation 😂

She knows that while Aqua is the one who forced her hand, she is the one who ultimately made the choice. She owns it and chooses to see all the positives that came out of it.

So while that scene was pretty important to make Aqua aware of the disconnect between his biased perception and Kana's reality, it felt like adding yet another burden on a guy who's already carrying the world on his shoulders lol

Notes; And for tittle chapter107 they use "Friends" in Japanese 友達( Tomodachi). We can use it to their rationship.

Indeed! But to play devil's advocate, the title comes from Kana's "you're my precious friend" line—which in turn comes from the line the love interest says about the heroine in Sweet Today 😂

I don't know why I'm glad that Akane didn't remind Aqua of his past and his guilt in the past.

Me too! Akane playing Ai turned out to be a great thing, because it allowed Aqua to clearly separate Akane as person from Ai lol