#I'd love to bitch about this a lot more but I don't wanna upset anyone so I'm just gonna sit here in a corner and huff like a big dog

[undead-potatoes]

Truly one of the great struggles of trying to participate in any fantasy related fandom is that 90% of it is just gonna be (white) elves

[cupidstwin333]

For genshin impact and mha, romantic matchup please! ❣️ (I put this picture to help with what I look like, idc if you show it if you need to.)

She/they, bisexual, 19

I have blueish-gray eyes with red hair that's in a side shave (like one side on my hair is shaved). I am chubby, I have tons of freckles except on my face. I like wearing emo style clothes or comfy clothes like hoodies and sweats. I hate dresses and shorts, I don't like showing off skin.

Likes: anything with drawing/painting, games including board games, reading and writing.

Dislikes: uhhh spiders, driving (I refuse to get a driver's license it's a huge fear of mine.) I'm not scared of being in a car just driving it.

Isfp-t or my kin itto and scaramouche, I am a cancer. People say I have rbf (resting bitch face). Though I am really nice to people, unless they mess with the people I care about then I couldn't care less about them. I try to be helpful when I can. When I am around people I know, I can be loud and talkative (the loud part isn't on purpose it's just when I'm happy or excited). I tend to put people a lot before myself. I don't really like talking about my personal issues to anyone and can be known as the therapy friend. It's the opposite though when I'm around people I don't know, I'll be quiet and not wanting to interact. I have adhd, depression and anxiety (wonderful I know). When I do get upset I don't talk and won't interact until I have calmed down. I do cuss a lot though I'm more careful when I'm around kids/people I don't know. If I have a fight with someone I prefer to sit and talk it out and hate it when they walk away from me when I'm just trying to talk to them.

My favorite nation is fontaine (mostly because you can go underwater and I love sea animals, my favorite element is electric (fire is a close second).

I like a lot of the charactersin genshin but imma put the ones I don't wanna be matched with: heizou, kazuha, female characters (I don't know I just don't like the female characters romantically).

I don't write for genshin impact but with some help from an expert (a friend who plays it... 🤡) I matched you. 💘💘

After a long time of thinking 💭 your match is...

Hawks How it started:

Hawks soared through the sky, the wind ruffling his feathers as he patrolled the city. He had always been carefree, enjoying the freedom that came with being a hero. As he flew, he spotted a commotion down below. Curiosity piqued, he descended to investigate.

There, amidst a group of people, was you, Hawks couldn't help but notice the genuine kindness that radiated from you. As Hawks approached, you were helping a child who had dropped their ice cream, offering them a comforting smile. The kid's tears turned into a grin, and their parents thanked you profusely. Hawks couldn't help but be captivated by your selflessness, and your willingness to help others.

He landed gracefully nearby, his easygoing and relaxed demeanor in full display. "You know," he began, his jovial attitude shining through, "you've got a way with people. I've seen you around, and it seems like you're everyone's go-to when they need a pick-me-up."

You glanced at him, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Well, I guess I like making people happy."

Hawks chuckled. "You and me both. Say, how about we grab some coffee sometime? I'd love to get to know you better."

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn't help but nod, your RBF softening. "Sure, that sounds nice."

And just like that, amidst the chaos of the city, Hawks found himself falling for the kind-hearted, artistic, and unique person that was you.

General headcanons:

💘Like any couple, you have disagreements from time to time. However, you both prefer sitting down to talk things out rather than letting arguments fester, which only strengthens your bond.

💘You often sketch or paint during your coffee dates, and Hawks loves watching you work on your art

💘Hawks is always there to support you, whether it's attending your art exhibitions or offering a listening ear when you're dealing with personal issues. He values your friendship and partnership immensely.

💘There are moments when neither of you feels the need to fill the air with words.

💘Hawks occasionally surprises you with small gifts related to your interests.

Childe How it started:

On a crisp, sun-dappled morning, you were on your way to visit a friend, comfortably clad in your favorite hoodie and sweats. As you strolled along the scenic path, absorbed in thought about the day ahead, you suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of a Hydro arrow whizzing through the air. Turning quickly, you spotted Childe, in the midst of a daring battle against some pesky Hilichurls. His wild grin and the way he effortlessly moved through the fight were both captivating and bewildering. It was a spectacle of pure energy and recklessness.

Drawn to the chaos of the battle, you watched with fascination. As the last Hilichurl fell, Childe turned to face you, his clothes a little disheveled and his expression alight with mischief.

"Quite the show, don't you think?" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

You couldn't help but chuckle at his audacity. "Impressive," you admitted, giving him a playful smile. Childe's grin widened, and he extended a hand. "I'm Childe, by the way. I couldn't help but notice you on your way somewhere. Mind if I join you?"

Your heart fluttered as you took his hand, a sensation you hadn't expected. His impulsive nature was infectious, and before you knew it, you were walking together, discussing everything from art and games to your shared love of the electric element.

Over time, Childe's thrill-seeking spirit and your quiet, supportive nature seemed like a strange but perfect match. And it was during that first walk, amid laughter and the occasional drawn-out silences, that Childe realized he was falling in love with the enigmatic traveler with red hair. For someone who viewed himself as a miscreant, he had unexpectedly found someone who made his heart race with a different kind of excitement, the thrill of love.

General headcanons:

💘Your quiet and introverted nature contrasts sharply with Childe's impulsiveness and outgoing demeanor. At first, it seems like an odd pairing, but over time, you find that your differences complement each other perfectly.

💘Childe loves watching you paint and sketch, often silently admiring your artistic talents.

💘You introduce Childe to your love for board games, and it becomes a favorite pastime for both of you. The competitive spirit comes out, and these game nights often end in laughter and playful arguments over who cheated during the game.

💘Childe may be a bit of a miscreant, but when it comes to your well-being, he's incredibly protective and supportive.

💘Childe finds your emo style endearing and often playfully teases you about it.

I'd appreciate it if you'd reblog this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it <3

[queen-shiba]

Don't you just love it when your parents look at you and go

"you do this thing that the rest of your generation does when we simply ask you to do chores"

NO I DID NOT SAY SHIT ABOUT GOING THROUGH A LOT!

IF I STARTED CRYING WHEN YOU ASKED, IT WAS PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS ACTUALLY EXTREMELY FUCKING STRESSED OUT BEFORE YOU HAD ASKED!

I DON'T JUST DO THAT SHIT FOR NO REASON AND IT DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN!

And then they're like-

"change your tone so that way you sound nicer to people"

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT IF I BELIEVE MY TONE SOUNDS KIND!?

PUT LESS BASE IN MY VOICE!?

BITCH I CANNOT HEAR THE BASE IN MY VOICE!!!

UNHELPFUL SACKS OF SHIT ALWAYS MAKING FUCKING FUN OF ME AND SAYING I DON'T DO SHIT LIKE I'M JUST THE MOST UNHELPFUL PERSON AROUND!

MAYBE I'D HELP A LITTLE MORE IF YOU DIDN'T ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL THE NEED TO FUCKING AVOID YOU AND STAY IN MY ROOM WHERE I'M SAFE, CAUSE I DON'T DO THIS SHIT WITH ANYONE ELSE!

IN FACT I'M GLAD TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE OUT CAUSE THEY DON'T SCREAM, YELL, AND THROW SHIT AROUND AS I'M TRYING TO HELP!!

Dude. I'm ready to move out.

I'm sick of these people.

I can't fucking stand them.

They always act like I'm the most sensitive thing out there and call me soft and I hate it.

JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT OUT DOING DRUGS AND HAVING ALL SORTS OF SEX OR GOING OUT WITH MY FRIENDS LATE AT NIGHT AND GETTING CAUGHT UP IN GANG VIOLENCE LIKE YOU AND YOU DOESN'T MEAN I'M SOFT!

Geez...

THEN THEY START LAUGHING WHEN I'M VISIBLY UPSET AND TRY TO JOKE AROUND WITH ME MORE!

I hate them so much.

And people wonder why I don't wanna spend time with them.

Shit like this.

[luveline]

jadie (may i call u that ?) i was wondering how u deal with hate on ur page. does it ever get rlly hard to the point where u think about quitting or something? ive been going through some hate of my own and although im still a small acct and the love outweighs the hate, its still super hurtful and i just wanna know how someone with a following as big as urs would handle it ! thanks so much

you can call me whatever you like!! how I deal with it..

I think it's important to acknowledge that I have a 'bigger' account or a bigger following because if you tallied up the hate to the kindness I'm shown, there's always going to be more love. And I feel like I can stick up for myself more often because I know I've made friends here and have followers that will support me!! So I would definitely say those things are a privilege that I have to help me

That being said, I've definitely noticed a tenfold increase in hate as I gain followers and i think thats natural, it makes sense that the more people that are exposed to me and my writing, the more I will see people who dont like me or my writing. Sometimes I handle it by crying my eyes out, and sometimes I just feel really sick all day. Lots of the time, hate pretty much saps me completely and I find that I don't want to write anymore because you do start to internalise that and feel negatively about yourself. It's always worse when they kind of find the thing you're sensitive about and prod at it.

And hate feels to me like it is in two categories, actual stuff with value and then the troll/bait kind of stuff. Most of the mean anons I receive I block straight away so they can't send anything again. Sometimes I post it because I want my own say, like when I don't agree with the way someone's speaking to me.

Sometimes you get silly cruel ones, and sometimes you see hate and think like??? What does this have to do with me? Fanfic and writing in general can be so skewed toward personal preference because why wouldn't I write what I want to write? This is my hobby and its for fun, and so when you get those "this was awkward' "this was poorly written" "why did insert character do this" I can disregard that pretty easily cos its a comment based on their own perception and preference. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to!

I recently saw someone get a hate anon that said like "you need to use more full stops, I need to take a breath" and it made me laugh because there are literally millions and millions of books and billions of words of fanfic online and that person has seemingly never encountered a run on sentence before? I think you just have to keep in mind that your circle of experience in life is different to other people's , and there will be overlap but often the majority won't, like a Venn diagram. What I'm trying to say is I tend to not take that stuff too personally (though it's still hate, and still annoying!) because that person probably just hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them yet!

Hate sucks! We aren't goodreads authors, we aren't offering our work up for a five star rating and asking people to pick it apart, and it's always gonna be gutting when people don't like what we have to offer. But I just try to take it on the chin because rejection is a constant in life, and if you don't wrestle with it I'd imagine I'll turn into a bitter bitch. 😅

tldr: I let myself be upset by it! I give myself space to feel sad but ultimately I reason that you can't please everyone, and you shouldn't want to! Do what makes you happy and the right people will find you and love you for it !!

[babydinojojo]

Day 9(4/25/24)

There's a lot going on in my head now and I need to get it down. I love Van Van a lot... I do... I really do from the bottom of my heart and tonight... ugh ion know where tf to begin. But I now know the reason why. And I'm glad... It's just well... I want Van Van to express himself and I don't want to force him too if he doesn't want too... Maybe that's why I got so upset and triggered... He did not let me down in any way shape and or form...(The off feeling is gone thank god).... But I know why it happens thankfully... Idk but sometimes when I'm not told why certain things happen... It just upsets me a lot and it gets me very impatient... Fuck.... The last thing I want is to be controlling over my own boyfriend Van. I'd actually kms if I end up trying to control her and force him to tell me what's wrong... I do NOT want to do that period and I don't plan on it.... It's just the pain from other relationships was why I got so upset fuck... Fuck those bitches respectfully....

I love Van Van more than anything and anyone in the ENTIRE world with all my heart no matter what ok? And that will never change, and Van if you're reading this... I'm not gonna ever force you to express yourself or anything for that matter... I'm sorry for what you gone through and you had to get used to closing yourself off... That poor boy... I wish I could just go back in time and make sure he never has to go through ANY of his traumatic events and relationships... I'd do anything just for him and hell I'd bend space and time for that nigga if I want too.

Javo... Javo gives me the fucking ICK! Like somethings off with that nigga I just fucking know it. He gives me bad vibes I don't know why.... Like the predator vibes OR the stay away from them vibes... Like I don't know... But I wanna keep Van away from him. I mean ngl he was cool when Van first talked about him... But then he started getting depressed and shit... Threatened to kill himself and not to mention the nigga just spat in his face when he LITERALLY was busting his ass for him. What Piece of Shit Javo really is. Van didn't deserve that, he already had ENOUGH people spitting in his fucking face. He's a wonderful fucking person with the mindset of a fucking Angel and has a huge ass heart. If he was a kitty I would pamper him with kisses every day and tell him how cute he is... I wish I can tell him at every moment how much I love him and I appreciate him in my life... He's made such an impact and I thank him for it... He's just amazing.... I thank god and fate for having our paths cross together and have us date... I couldn't have asked for a better partner than Van...

But yea Javo gives me the fucking ick. Like he gives off pedo vibes for some reason.... Nigga really trying to be friends and gaslight a 16 year old into being his friend... Like what a fucking weirdo. Van wants nothing to do with his grandpa looking headass. Like come on bro. Hell like I mentioned before... I wanna keep Javo away from him. I don't know... Again I don't trust Javo one bit. And it's not about him taking Van away from me... It's about him putting Van's safety in danger and at risk. He was cool at first but now... Something just doesn't seem right with him.... Like he's talking with someone else potentially underage just cause he can't find love..... Idk... I wanna confront him but I don't think Van would like that... Ugh... Fucking Javo.... Javo... If you EVER touch my Van Van in anyway or hurt her physically or mentally I'll end you... In a very gruesome way... :)....

Okay Anyways.... Van's Asleep now which is good... he deserves some rest after what he's been through tonight... the poor boy.... he really loves me... And he thought he let me down... the truth is... he didn't let me down, but I didn't either. Today was just a good day with a bad ending, but that's okay couples always have bad days, and I know tomorrow we'll bounce back and have a better day. I know we will, and hey our 10 month anniversary is coming up very VERY soon and hey... we're almost at a full year... just 2 more months.... 2 more..... and hey... I got something big planned for Van Van... and on the one year Anniversary of the Rp as well. Yea that one we're going back to Our world that day and we are doing a renewing of our vows and a beautiful family dinner with everyone... it's a shame we killed off Dexi/Dexter... kinda wanna bring his ass back tbh along with Gab- WAIT SPEAKING OF GABE HOW TF DOES DUKE KNOW ABOUT FUCKING GABE 😭😭😭😭😭 HOW?!?!? HOW?!!!!.

Okay I need to go Nini now. Tbh here I feel like tomorrow mwe bwe bwaby wif Van Van.... Owh Fiddlesticks mwe wegwessed ;;-;;... Bweh..... Owh well mwe go Nini now... Nini fwiends.... Nini Van Van Jojo wubs chuuu eepy well....

[thevindicativevordan]

On Lois Lane

Figured it well past time I got to the matriarch of the Superfamily, especially since I already wrote about the other major "LL" in Superman's life.

Hardest part of writing about Lois is what more can be added that hasn't already been said? She's The Love Interest when it comes to female supporting characters, so iconic and successful that like Superman himself, she's inspired countless copycats: Iris West, Vicki Vale, the current video game version of MJ Watson, if your hero has a love interest who is a reporter, they're drawing on the archetype that Lois established. She was there from the very beginning, before there were Krypton, Smallville, the Kents, the Rogues, before Superman could even fly Lois was there.

And my God is she such a fantastic character in her own right.

Whereas Clark himself is pretty damn different if you compare and contrast his Golden Age incarnation with his modern incarnation, Golden Age Lois is pretty recognizable as Lois Lane. Feisty, independent, scornful of danger and of cowardice (especially in a "peer" like Clark), a bit in awe of Superman while also eager to press him for information about himself, willing to throw herself into danger if she can get that exclusive scoop. Her personality in the early comics is much more like her modern incarnation than the lovestruck wanna-be housewife she became in the Silver Age. Lois is one of the few characters who basically came into comics perfect from Day 1.

I love the Rucka idea that she somehow has everyone's number and can call up anyone from the lowliest criminal to the highest politicians. I like when writers show that she herself is able to wear a variety of disguises, something I'm sure she and Clark can bond over once he reveals his identity to her. And I love that she is basically waging a one-woman war against corruption and evil in Metropolis long before Superman shows up, something the Superman & Lois show highlighted.

It's easy to see why Clark would fall for her. Even putting aside that Lois is hot as hell, she's a great foil to him personality wise. They both are committed to rooting out social ills and taking the fight to crime and oppression wherever it rears it's head, from the Lexcorp boardroom, to the darkest underbelly of Metropolis. They both are kind and compassionate, but have explosive tempers if you piss them off. They both love to snark, although Lois has more bite whereas Clark is more deadpan.

The biggest contrast, and honestly the biggest turn on for Clark, is that Lois is free from doubt. Clark is constantly second-guessing himself, worrying about how others see him, worrying about whether he's making the right choices or if he's approaching his heroics/journalism the right way. Lois? Lois never second-guesses herself, never allows the doubts or opinions of others to affect her course in life. She knows her dad is disappointed and upset with her and she couldn't care less. She knows others think she's a bitch and that only amuses her. She's confident and self-reliant and those are attributes Clark wants desperately to posses himself. How could he not fall head over heels in love?

Why Lois would fall in love with Clark is a bit trickier. It's easy to see why she would love Superman, which is part of why Clark wants her to love the "whole" of him and not just the public persona. Superman is confident, Superman is powerful, Superman kicks ass, he's kind and intelligent, he's a huge celebrity, who wouldn't love him? Clark? Eh he's easy on the eyes but he doesn't really have much of a presence. That's how everyone else views Clark. Lois, I think, would start off viewing Clark as a dweeb who will be gone in a week, the big city too much for him. That he sticks around and toughs it out impresses her. That he manages to outscoop her multiple times infuriates and intrigues her. That he manages to live in Metropolis and see how rotten it can be beneath the shiny gilded exterior, yet doesn't lose his sense of optimism, his faith in other peoples inner goodness, his "naivety" so to speak? I think that's what would make her fall in love with him.

Lois is at heart a "cynical idealist" in my estimation. The cynical side is she's someone who will always fight for the truth, for justice, but I don't think she believes that peoples inherent goodness will win out in the end most of the time. She's seen how selfish people can be, how uncaring, and I think before Clark shows up there's a part of her that thinks she's just bashing her head against a wall trying to change things. The idealist part of her is that she will continue to bash her head against that wall of public indifference anyway. Lois will always fight even if nobody else will fight alongside her, she'll keep writing articles and investigating long after a lesser woman would give up, because it's the principles that matter damnit, even if only to her. That Clark is someone who will join her in that fight while still believing that the rest of the public can be swayed to join them is what I see as the reason why she finally gives him a chance, that optimism remaining in Clark is refreshing and uplifting to her. That he's also hot and can trade banter with her doesn't hurt his chances any.

Lois becoming a mom has been really interesting, even if I haven't always been wholly satisfied with how they've handled the relationship between her and Jon. I haven't seen enough of Lois traits in Jon to really buy him as her offspring, I hope that changes. While I'm not the biggest fan of Tom Taylor to put it mildly, I liked that he emphasized Lois' importance with regards to Jon becoming Superman in interview leading up to the first issue, and I hope we get lots of Lois/Jon interaction in Superman: Son of Kal-El that really flesh out their relationship. At the very least I want to see Jon get some of that Lois patented verbal bite to him.

One last thought with regards to Lois: how the hell was Tom King the first one to realize that Lois and Selina would immediately hit it off?

They're both so similar when you think about it: Brunettes who are willful and independent, who flaunt the rules to get what they want, who outright laugh when their male significant others try to order them around, yeah I totally can see the two of them becoming friends. I really hope that gets continued under someone else, since I don't think anyone other than King has really played with it, but I love the idea of Lois having a "gal pal" that's also caught up in the insanity of life with a superhero.

If not Selina I'd like to see Lois being shown to have a friendship with her copycats such as Vicki or Iris or the rest. Definitely with Cat (even though Cat Grant can drive her up the wall sometimes). More girls' nights out/double dates for Lois, that's all I'm saying.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Dabi x villain!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, non-con, stalking, mentions of human experimentation, non-consensual drug use, lots of swearing.

Words: 1841.

Summary: Running away from the lab where you had been experimented on for years, you have no choice but to join the League of Villains to escape from the government. Of course, you don’t expect things to go smoothly, especially when one mutilated son of a bitch just can’t leave you alone.

P.S. I’ve suddenly remembered Rogue who had been my favorite character once; the heroine’s Quirk is partly based on her ability.

My dear @navegandoaciegas​, this is my first attempt at writing Dabi. Hope you’re going to enjoy reading it ❤

_________________

"Fuck, how much can you drink at once, birdie? Ain't you scared to pass out in a place full of men?"

Oh God, it was that smug bastard again. For the past couple of days Dabi couldn't get off your back for a full damn minute.

"Men? Here?" You opened your eyes and raised an eyebrow at the man whose face was right above yours as he leaned on the back of the couch where you laid. "I see just a couple of kids and one burnt corpse who can never fucking shut up."

"Oh? Wanna see how well can a burnt corpse fuck you up?"

Always up to a challenge. You rolled your eyes at his obvious display of hostility despite the fact he'd most definitely lose against you. Besides, Shigaraki would barely enjoy you two ruining the League's hideout, and upsetting that asshole ready to go berserk any moment certainly wasn't one of your priorities.

"Just go fuck yourself, would you? I'm not in the mood to bark at you."

"Well, then don't. I didn’t come here for that, actually."

This was something new. He suddenly became calm as you studied his grotesque mutilated face inches away from yours. Your expression didn’t betray any emotions either since you weren't shocked or disgusted by the way Dabi looked: you've seen worse in the laboratory, and repulsive things had long stopped looking repulsive to you.

"What are you here for, then?" You asked him, trying to remember if you finished that second bottle of sake or not. Since the time you accidentally got one of those useless Quirks, you couldn't get drunk anymore - now strong alcohol only made you sleepy.

"I've always wanted to ask why the fuck are you wearing these." Dabi pointed out to the black leather gloves laying on the coffee table in front of you, and you rolled your eyes again. One more useless question.

"In this team of no-brainers you're the last person I expected to ask me this question." Groaning, you moved up a little to take more comfortable position and stared at the man above you intensely.

"Don't you want to gather as many Quirks as possible? If so, why wearing gloves when you can only get a Quirk through touch?"

You were close to snapping at him, and it certainly made Dabi look even more smug.

"Who the fuck do you think I am, a garbage bin?" You barked wishing you could teleport the bastard somewhere to Hawaii. "I only take Quirks I need, and it isn't easy to find those in that damp of useless abilities regular citizens have. Besides, some Quirks are quite dangerous for their owners and I'd prefer them not existing at all. You, of all people, should already get that, Pretty Face."

He smiled at you, but you saw his hollow eyes sparkling dangerously at your last remark, and you felt his body emanating heat he could turn into his famous blue flames within a second. Nasty shit, that what's you thought of his Quirk. Who on Earth would want anything like that? You doubted anyone but a true psychopath could really appreciate something as fucked up as Dabi's ability to burn anything and anyone, himself including. You definitely didn't want to use his Quirk despite already taking it as almost all of those belonging to the League of Villains. It wasn't intentional, though.

"You'd better start watching your mouth, birdie. You ain't back in the lab." His smile grew wider as he saw your expression darkening at the mention of the lab.

Fucking son of a bitch. You bet he'd go insane during the first month being locked up there.

"Huh, calm down, dear. I think it's better we get along."

You sent him a glare wishing you could throw his overconfident ass out of the window. Dabi loved messing with fucking everyone, Shigaraki included, but he was still a valuable member of the team. Killing him would do you no good.

Showing him your middle finger, you put your head on the pillow and took the half-empty bottle of sake. Thank goodness you didn't finish it. You hoped Dabi would vanish by the time you were done.

You spent a few minutes in complete silence as the man kept leaning on the couch and watching you drinking while you did your best trying to relax. Why the Hell was Dabi stuck here with you? Didn't he have any other things he should be doing now? Was he here to get under your skin even more? Shit, you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted it since the time they brought you to the lab, but since then somebody had always been getting on your nerves one way or the other.

"Seriously, what do you want from me?" You grunted as you opened your eyes again and stared at Dabi's face. "You wanna take the couch or what? I ran out of sake if you're here for it."

There was that smug smile again. Saints, the guy had been creeping you out with his long intense stares for quite some time, but today he was even less bearable than usual. He definitely wanted something from you, and the feeling was making you uneasy.

"You wanna hook up, birdie?"

You thought you were gonna choke on air when you heard him saying that. What? Seriously? Did he hurt his head so bad last time heroes attacked? So, that was the meaning of those stares, then? He thought you were the one he could stick his dick in. Wincing from the thought like from a toothache, you squeezed your eyes shut. The guy was clearly mad.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to hook up with anyone?" You huffed with irritation and realized Dabi was having way more fun than you.

"Don't tell me you're actually a virgin."

"You think I can be a virgin with the life I'm having?" You sounded more bitter than you thought you would, and the man above you chuckled. He was getting on your nerves more and more with each passing second.

"Then why not? Sex is a good way to relax. You certainly seem like you could let off some steam." You flinched when Dabi extended his hand to you, but he had only brushed of a lock of your hair out of your face. "I bet I can help you with that better than most of the team."

"Sex is painful, and I don't like pain. Go have fun with Toga, she seems more into that than me." You narrowed your eyes at him, your hand almost touching his neck if the villain decided he'd go further without your consent. His stupid grin going wider was making you more and more mad.

Of course, he wouldn't go to Himiko. That asshole had his own type, and she certainly didn't fall into that category. Why did you? You had no idea, but you doubted he would ever lay his hands on you. Yeah, you knew what sex was, and it had nothing to do with pleasure like in those stupid romantic novels you once bought. It was humiliating and painful. If you had a chance to get back to those who did it to you back in the lab, you'd rip their hearts out of their rib cages.

The expression on your face didn't seem to faze Dabi even the slightest bit, and you rolled your eyes in irritation. Apparently, he wouldn't give up unless you showed him you weren't some doll he could play with, and Shigaraki was probably going to get real mad at the both of you this evening.

All of a sudden you felt some strange tickling in your muscles you had never felt before. What was that? Confused, you quickly glanced over the room to see no one except Dabi still on his spot. What was that? Was it some hero's work? Had they found your hideout? No, it couldn’t be. You'd hear them, feel them before somebody even set their foot on your territory. It wasn't a hero.

Unwilling to wait for any surprises to happen, you used a regeneration Quirk, the one you were gifted on your 14th birthday so you could heal yourself after they ran the tests without troubling a healer too much. Strangely, the Quirk did nothing about the tickling, and you felt your legs getting weaker. What the fuck was that?

As you raised your head to ask Dabi for help, you suddenly realized he was eager to see what you were doing. He looked like he enjoyed watching you in such state, confused and even frightened, your knees slightly trembling as if you became weak within a couple of seconds.

It was him. He did something to you. The bastard had the nerve to do something to your body so it'd be easier to handle you.

"What have you done?" You hissed at him while he chuckled, pointing at the bottles of sake on the table. "Have you poisoned my drink?"

But the regeneration would work in that case. You knew for sure.

Running his finger around the shell of your ear, Dabi hummed with content, "Poisoned? Come on, who do you think I am, an Evil Queen? That's just a little handy potion that has a tendency to slowly accumulate in your body. Makes you a little softer, don't you think?"

Oh. Oh. That's why he was always watching you. He had no idea when the effects would start to show. Did he fucking realize it could happen in the heat of the battle when you needed your Quirks the most? Did Dabi have any idea what would happen if heroes managed to lock you away again?

"Seems like you planned to abandon me if heroes attacked, didn't you?" You gritted your teeth when Dabi got on top of you, his hands on your chest as he caressed your body like a lover would, his hot fingers getting under your clothes.

"Of course not. I'd play your personal hero and save your stubborn ass the trouble of murdering everyone."

While you desperately wanted to kick him off you came to realization you weren't able to even stand up, your arms and legs so weak you could barely move while Dabi had no problems stripping you out of your clothes, his hands on the your thighs as he took off your pants.

Shit, shit, shit. You couldn’t use any Quirks to hurt him, all of them barely responding to your call. What was that potion? Why nobody in the lab prepared you for this? How on Earth did that shithead obtain such a dangerous thing?

"If you hurt me, I'll rip your brain out of your skull and bring it to Shigaraki as a present."

His chapped, disfigured lips brushed against your neck almost gently when the man murmured, "It doesn't have to be painful, birdie. I'll show you how much fun we can have together."

___________________

Tags: @coolio-love @awesomerextyphoon​

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi Logan, how do I even start? Save this number, if you want to. I have been supporting Remy through texts for a bit. They have revealed to me some very troubling things in the past. Things like, their boyfriend kicking their cane from under them as a ‘joke’? Those kinds of things.

Virgil, that's his name by the way, also kind of yells at them a lot at times, and tells them they're worthless except for the use he can give to their body and that nobody else will ever love them. They believe they are horrible. They believe they deserve it. They appear to think their disability makes them only a burden to him and nothing else and while I have tried to convince them to the contrary I honestly don't believe I can when they're still trapped by choice in such a toxic environment.

I have tried to help and give them the tools to better their self-esteem and combat that, and send them nice text messages in general, but that hasn't helped in anything more than a superficial level. If you can do something, anything, or could take their case to someone who can something, I'd really appreciate that.

(Words: 2088)

(Talk of U!Virgil)

Logan: "That is...That is" He took a moment to gather himself "That is even worse than I had estimated"

"This must have been happening the other times we met them too right? And we didn't notice anything. We should have- we-" Patty mumbled out. Her voice was shaky.

She had just gotten home half an hour ago or so, she wasn't even fully out of her cosplay makeup. Logan had immediately pulled her into a hug which wasn't uncommon but he'd held onto her so hard it hurt and he’d been close to collapsing into the hug.

All it took was her asking if he was alright for him to tell her everything. He couldn't keep a secret from her even if he tried.

Now they sat in the couch. Logan had his head leaned on her chest and she had moved her arms around his waist. All they'd eaten was some of the leftover pie from Lo's date a few days ago because both of them were far too worked up to even think about cooking.

Patty pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to think "Okay well if they're being emotionally abused as what we know suggest then...I..is there even anyone we can contact that could help. I mean there's no- there's no evidence right? Or well- it's just- it's their word against Virgil's and if they won't even say Virgil is abusing them then there's nothing!"

"We can kidnap them" Logan pointed out.

"That we can"

Logan sighed “Do you think talking to them would even make a difference? They seem to already hate me so now it’s even less likely that they’ll listen”

“Well honey you can always try. They go to the same therapist as Janus right? So you can just casually ‘run into them’ right?” She gave him a loving kiss “I know my lil smarty-sweetheart can help them”

He sent her a tired smile “I’ll try”

--

Remy wasn’t as upset from the therapy session as they usually were. It had mostly been discussing how they felt about maybe being poly. They still thought they deserved a smoke break afterwards though so now they sat on bench right outside the entrance, they were on their third cigarette.

They had their head leaned against the back of the bench and was looking up at the greying sky and falling leaves so they didn’t notice when Logan sat down. He kept his distance to not startle them but cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Are you also waiting for someone?” He asked.

They glanced over to him “Girl go fuck yourself with a rake”

“Noted. I will put it in my calender. I for one am here to pick up Janus after his therapy is over for the day. Mayhaps I will show him some more star trek”

“Okay great gal. Then I’m just like waiting for Remus I guess” They pressed the cigarette into their leather jacket to put it out so they could leave as soon as they saw their cru- friend.

Logan inched closer “Is your bruise healing well?”

“Just ‘cause we’re in the same place doesn’t mean we have to talk to each other!” They snapped back.

“Exscuse me, I was simply worried about your physical health”

They rolled their eyes and crossed their arms before mumbling out “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I haven’t done it again so like forget it” 

“I am relieved to hear that”

Silence fell over them. Remy refused to look at him. Logan tried to figure out what was the best way to ask them about Virgil.

“....Your boyfriend did not insult you once you came home right?” He asked them in such a soft tone as if any slight wrong saying would make them implode on themself.

“Girl there you go again with your stupid fucking bullshit. I don’t wanna like talk about it!....Not ‘cause anything happened but ‘cause I hate you! You don’t- we don’t- we’re not friends! Why are you just like forcing yourself in on my private life! It’s like- it’s like fucking stalking!”

Logan reached out his hand to comfort them but quickly stopped himself “I am sorry. I don’t know how to best formulate this but I sincerely don’t mean to upset you like, neither do I know how to not upset you. All I know is that I want you to be okay and that if my partner treated me like yours seem to do I wouldn’t be able to stay”

Remy’s hair fell in front of their face as they leant their head in their plams “You don’t get it” They muttered.

“I am sure I don-”

“IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY! It’s not like I have any savings an-and I’m not able to keep a job and without Virgil I have no way to buy medicine and- Like do you just want me to walk out and become homeless and like starve to death? Is that it? Like even if I wanted to leave, which I don’t, It’s not like I have a choice!”

A quiet sniffle came from them. Logan gave them a moment to gather their breathe.

“I...I didn’t mean to make it sound like leaving was easy” Logan murmured “I understand that you have probably been forced to think like you have no choice but to stay. I am aware of how crippling manipulation like that can be” 

He leaned closer and even though they didn’t look at him he still sent them his most caring look as he continued.

“But I promise you that there are other options. You aren’t stuck. I am willing to let you stay at my apartment for however long you need and if you aren’t comfortable with that I am sure Janus or Remus would let you stay as well. I can even pay for a motel if that would be better. Depending on what part of your disability is making you unable to work I am sure that could be fixed. For example a wheelchair could help! My point is that you do have a choice, even if it’s very understandably hard to think that”

Remy’s shoulders were shaking. Logan gently placed his hand on top of their bony shoulder. Every vein was visible through their light skin.

At just the hint of his touch they flinched away. They stumbled up from the bench and took a few steps away. They looked at him with reddened eyes.

“No. No. Girl you- you just don’t get it! That’s all!” They spat out, their voice was shaky as well “You haven’t like lived with me. Once you or Remus o-or anyone spends enough time with me you’ll realize what an annoying overemotional burden I am! An-and then I’ll get thrown out! Okay!? So-so it’s not really- I don’t actually have a choice ‘cause I’ll just get thrown out. Virgil is the only who will ever bother to deal with me for this long! ‘cause he loves me! And no one else will love me like he does. S-so just shut up!”

Logan stood up as well and took an unsure step towards them. They looked so weak, as if a single push from the wind would make them crumble. 

“It’s okay. I hear what you are saying” Logan assured.

“An-and it’s like- Virgil needs me! And I need him! That’s like how it works! I can’t just leave him! What if- who will calm him down from his panic attacks?! And if I leave what if he gets s-so upset and like anxious he hurts himself! He’s said there was a chance he would!! I can’t risk it! I have to stay! He needs me! I-I need- I can’t- I can’t leave”

Logan nodded along “It’s okay. I understand. I understand”

“You don’t! You’re a idiotic bitch! I hope all your stupid fucking ties get destroyed in the washer!” Remy was close to yelling.

“Harsh but I see your point. To be honest everything you have said has made me even more worried. From my experience a relationship shouldn’t make you feel this way! It shouldn’t make you come up with reasons to stay! It shouldn’t hurt you!” Logan reached out to comfort them once more. “I promise it shouldn’t hurt”

“It’s not hurting me! YOU are hurting me!”

Logan was taken aback. He didn’t know what to say. His arms moved to hang helplessly along his sides. Remy opened their mouth to say something more but then

“Hey uh what’s going on? Are you roleplaying a death match?” Remus stood in the entrance to the building. He glanced between the two of them.

“This idiot is trying to destroy my relationship!” Remy exclaimed.

“While it is not my place to explain the full situation without their permission I can assure you that I am merely worrying for their mental and physical health and I am unsure if their relationship is good for them from what I’ve heard” Logan explained.

Remus barely even hesitated before moving in front of Remy. He moved his arms out and let them lean against him to catch their breathe, like he was a human shield protecting them from Logan. 

Logan hadn’t seen Remus angry before and he didn’t look fully enraged, but there was a hint of anger in eyes as he sneered at him.

“Well I’m sorry Loganson but not every relationship is totally perfect and works without any arguments like you and your wife relationship apparently does!” He spat out.

“I can assure you that me and my wife’s relationship hasn’t been argument free but that doesn’t mean I have ever even thought about insulting her like Remy’s boyfriend seemingly ha-”

“You’re not Remy!” Remus snapped “You’re a guy who dresses like a 40 year old math teacher who is losing the children in the divorce! Leave them alone!” 

Remy was bordering on cowering behind Remus. Their whole body seemed to shake as a few tears spilled down their cheeks. They met Logan’s eyes.

“If the bullshit you’re saying is true, which it like isn’t but if it was that- that means I’ve spent my whole life being abused” They forced out through tears “How can you Ever you expect me to live with that?”

Logan didn’t have an answer to that. He watched on as Remus placed his hands on Remy’s shoulders and gently guided them to turn away. He bonked their foreheads together and wiped their tears away.

“C’mon beanie-boo I can take you to the amusement park to cheer you up! Or we can find some lsd and get high so you can hallucinate beating the shit out of the stinky Log guy!” Remus exclaimed as they walked away.

A headache began to form in Logan’s head as he slumped back down on the bench. He stared out at the nearly empty parking lot. He didn’t understand what he did wrong. 

He wished he could talk to Virgil. He wished he could see him eye to eye and chew him out for ever making Remy feel like a burden, for ever making them feel trapped. A part of him wanted to punch him.

He was so zoned out into the overthinking he didn���t realize how much time was passing until Janus got out from his therapy session. As soon as Jan saw his boyfriend he let up into a shining smile and hurried over to him.

“Hi dear! Aww did you miss me so much you had to come pick me up! How charming!” Janus hesitated before kissing Logan on the lips. It still made him all giggly.

Normally seeing him so giddy would have made Logan overabundant with happiness....but now all he could think about was if he should tell Janus about Remy’s situation or not. They were friends right? Could it help? Would they listen to their friend?

Logan’s head hurt so bad. None of it made sense. There was no logical answer. How Janus reacted could make everything worse. He didn’t want to ruin everything more than he already had.

“Darling? Are you feeling alright? Has something happened?” Janus asked while taking his hand.

“I....I....” Logan looked over to you.

Logan: “I am so sorry to do this but do you have any idea what to do? The human emotion and it’s reactions are so illogical I don’t- I don’t understand- I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry- Should I tell Janus about the suspected abuse or should I lie?”

[kim-ruzek]

Sorry if this comes through twice. I had submission difficulties. The fangirlish article did nothing to quell my irritation about Kim almost dying being used as a prop for everyone else’s complex storylines while her PTSD disappeared as quickly as her nearly fatal injuries.

Oh yeah same. I never expected it too, and I hope I didn't make it seem like it did. I hate hate hate like my blood boils hate when I think about how they're using Kim as a prop, and i go through different emotions on how I feel about Hailey, jay and Upstead and there's no way in hell I'm getting up to watch 9x4... But I'm still excited?

Like when I remove my irritation about Kim being used as a prop and the unjust treatment of burzek, I am. Especially since I've been away from the net recently so I haven't seen anyone's ridiculous opinions. I'm trying to remember that the show doesn't actually think the same alongside the fans and there I'm excited.

And like-- already I can see why Voight will say what he will say but doesn't mean that I'm not like, I get you but I dislike you in this moment.

Also it's just. I've got Thoughts on this whole thing but like, I LOVE theorising. Even when I don't like the storyline, I love it, it's so much fun. I watch a trash show that I literally bitch about but the amount of times I've squealed with joy that they actually did the dramatic plot that I predicted... It's part of my watching experience and I have to have fun, especially with this rn, because otherwise I'd just quit watching entirely.

And I am still irritated. But I still do like figuring stuff out not related to burzek and Kim. It's fun, and I wanna make posts about it, about what I've predicted for 9x4. I've got ideas and I'm hopeful that I'll enjoy it.

None of this negates my annoyance at Kim being used as a prop, or that her PTSD is the opening act to Hailey's, like Hailey's is the biggest and most important. It really pisses me off, but I can still have fun theorising. Especially-- I do have mutuals who love Hailey and Upstead and I love them with my whole heart.

And as I said in my previous post-- yeah, I don't normally like fsngirlish's reviews. I'm a bit eh on them, good to get a general gist but I take it with a grain of salt but they can still excite me.

And don't worry-- it didn't come through twice!!! 💖

Edit: like ten minutes later I realised I probably answered this a little more bitchy than I want to. I'm just a little on edge rn, I'm sorry. I know this is just-- I know. We're frustrated. I'm very vocal about my frustration. But sometimes I do like a break, and at no point did I say the fangirlish article helped ease irritation about Kim? I just said I had theories and I just-- I just got annoyed at this ask and I'm sorry. I love you anon, I love getting anons, I love talking about this stuff with you, I love being someone to discuss this frustration with,,, so I'm sorry for being kinda bitchy.

And I guess too-- I'm frustrated about a lot of things with cpd. And sometimes, if the article is about other characters, it can mean my frustration is about them, not Kim. And idk just tired of keep on repeating the same upsetting thing about Kim's trauma whereas I have a lot of thoughts about other stuff and would like to discuss that. Not saying anyone has to discuss it with me, but just that sometimes my mind isn't just on the unfairness, especially when it makes me so so so sad I have to force my mind to take a break for my own sanity.

Yet again tho-- I do love getting asks. Please continue to, continue to discuss Kim and frustrations with me, I should've breathed and answered this when I was a little less on edge and I'm sorry for that. 💖💖💖

[smutty-ki113r]

yes Ben is technically already dead lmao. YES BBY I WANNA KEEP U <3 u r so pretty and so nice and so talented and omg just so unique !!

OMG Red u crack me up. my sub ass would never slap a intimidating person...it's just like my brain tells me: "nooo, submit ! now!"

Well idk I don't know hoodie that well but he seems nice and i think it could work :> poly is just more than 2 ppl. can be just 3 or more. some cases only one partner is poly so the others just interact with them and not with the others. each partner can have multiple partners or not. each poly relationship is a bit different. but nontheless, cheating is still not ok. u have to talk to the partners before introducing someone new. I am actually thinking abt asking lj but I don't think toby likes him :<

Ben loves u already! it's gonna be so cool when u two finally meet!! also...the screenshot of ur friends message??? holy shit I laughed so hard.

I am fine ig lol. I will probably be done with my drivers license v soon :>i am crushing on 3 ppl irl and i am scared hh. sleeping is almost back to normal. *^____^*aw red dw :> I couldn't be upset with u !!

most of the cp don't remember their birthday and if they do they don't tell...they think it's stupid. well uh the only ones that remember r jeff and liu and they don't wanna talk abt it. the others either forgot cuz of trauma or time.

dude I am not jealous at all but possessive is accurate. bitchy...idk but i'd say no. hm but I think it's hard to tell if I am all that myself...idk

also lil fun nsfw story: toby throatfucked me recently <3 it was amazing (*^▽^*) he's so vocal too ...i love him sm

(i wish i could just be his sextoy all day long)

-🃏

THE WAY I FUCKING SQUEALED AT THAT- its the way that FUCKING EMOTICON looks for me. Like youre just like “ah yes he throatfucked me 🥰”. You literally kill me man i love you. AGGHGH THAT SOUNDS HOT. You’re so lucky 😖 (says me who’s barely had sexual interaction with anyone and wants to know what its like) but. *hand shakes furiously as i try to drink a cup of water*

I am so so glad that you and Toby are doing good. Im very proud of you both <3 thank you sm for telling me about the poly stuff, I want to be educated!! Awww i love LJ! Is he sexy For a long time I sipped over LJ and he was my #1 above everyone else and I would bring a picture of him everywhere I went. Yes I mean a physical picture. It’s not that I stopped liking him cause hell no i will always love him 🙄 but I think I just saw so much of myself in him that I wanted to hug him so badly and just be there for him cause nobody was there for me.

There’s a lot more to zodiacs than just a few traits, my mom showed me my birthchart and literally 90% of it was so accurate it was CRAZY. Ah so that’ssss why nobody knows their zodiacs. Its ok, oh jeez id hate to bring up trauma for them. But i want to fucking smother them with kisses even if they fight me off and it kills me.

UYFGPYODIRUJCGKYUYPTFDJRCFHGKVHLGUHPFT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MAN- you think im pretty 😫 and yes I def am unique… WHY JESUS. Im only talented in making up scenarios that will hurt me. 🥲 but hey I am a masochist so it works out.

ALSO im so PROUD look at you getting your license!!! And im so glad the sleeping went back to normal! I GOT SO WORRIED OML- sometimes i forget shit I say and then im like fuck,,,did i say something mean? Or insensitive?

I would probably slap masky just for kicks. Literally. Little bitch baby boy.

My bsf is literally the most hilarious person I know other than myself. She’s my entire world and my life. She knows a lot about you, and a lot of my anons. I talk a lot about u guys cause yall make me so happy. ISTG I S T GGGGG. .. FUCK. I. He loves me already. Shit dont say that too much or ill start second guessing everything more than usual. God i feel like im gonna disappoint him so bad. When we meet when we meet when we meet when we meet.

ANYWAY imma post the pics of me now hwhwhwhehehehhehehe

Im gonna start talking about my bsf more. Mmmmmm imma call her blue. Y’all are gonna love hearing about her. The shit she says cracks me tf up.

[my-darling-has-forgotten-me]

Oof... I'd feel for anyone in that situation. Thanks for the ask, and thank you for the compliment! I appreciate the support ❤️

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕤 𝕤𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕒𝕤 𝕓𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕟𝕠 𝕗𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 ~

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 = 𝐾𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑢𝑘𝑎𝑚𝑖 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 ~

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I got inspiration for this off 'Say I Love You'

"Kou! I heard your new song! It's so good!"

"Aw really?! Thanks for the support!"

"Yeah! We heard it too! You're as awesome as always!", Gushed a group of his fangirls.

"Oh! Y/N, you can go on ahea-"

But as always, I going to class before him. Automatically walking ahead of him. It's like this everyday, he gets crowded and I'm told to go. It's so annoying....

I walk ahead and saw Ruki, he looked at me and approached me. "Where's Kou? You've been going to class on your own a lot lately", he asked as stern as ever. "He's... Busy", I said, looking behind me seeing Kou laughing and smiling at his little harem.

"So it's like that? I don't like his neglect to you much either but I suppose it's his duty as an idol to entertain his fans", deadpanned Ruki, looking at the scene also. "N-no... I find his actions reasonable, besides it's not like I'm jealous or anything..."

Ruki softened his normally stoic face. "Would you like me to talk to him later? He's your Adam, he shouldn't treat you like this", he said

"No need...", I muttered and walked away. I heard fangirls muttering and whispering about me.

"Ugh... Look at that stuck-up bitch..."

"I know, she's such a whore"

I'm not...

"She only talks to Kou whenever she wants something... She's a slutty gold digger"

Stop it...

"She completely neglects him at school, seriously I bet she forces him to sleep with her"

I don't...

"Kou could do way better than Y/N..."

I know...

I put my earphones and I keep walking to class, once I get there, I see more fangirls. Stupid bitches...

I pull out my phone and I feel a pull on my right ear.

"Hey Masokitty! Wassup?", He said cheerfully. I say nothing, I feel Kou's fangirls glaring daggers at me. "Ehhh? You changed your screensaver?! Whhhyyyy? We looked so cute together in that photo!" He whined.

"So? Am I not allowed to change my background photo? And must you be so... Over the top?", I deadpanned, I only get into trouble when Kou gives me attention in public.

"Take it easy, I was just asking... Anyway, what're you listening to?", Kou said placing the earphone into his ear.

"Hey!"

"Huh...? Everybody Wants To Rule The World again?", He asked.

"Loser...", One of the girls uttered.

"You seem off today? You doin alright?", He asked in a worried voice.

"Nothing, I just didn't get much sleep last night!"

"Maybe because I didn't let you sleep last night?~ I'm sorry! You know how I get when I'm needy~", he said putting his arm around my waist.

Jesus Christ! No need to bring it up infront if people you dumbass! I felt more glares of horror and burning hatred being stabbed into me.

"Y/N, you listen to a song on loop when you're upset, are you sure it's okay?"

"Geez, I'm on my period okay!", I hissed... God, why can't he just leave me alone in school?

"it actually ended last-"

"Can you shut the fuck up for five seconds?!"

Everyone looked at me... Kou just glared at me, well, I'm in for it tonight.

I walked into class and I just tried to forget... everything. Why did I have to say that?!

I quickly leave the class after the bell rang and I headed straight for the girls bathroom hastily. I lock myself in a stall and went on my phone, again.

"Kou would look sooo good with Megumi right?", A feminine voice sighed.

"Doesn't he already have a girlfriend? It's that Y/N girl right?"

"I hate that bitch, she told him to shut the fuck up today, the audacity"

"Seriously?- Oh hey Megumi!"

Who's Megumi? I heard she's some really famous model/idol. I listen in on their conversation.

"Hey guys! What's up?", She said enthusiastically.

"Did you hear what Y/N said to Kou today?"

"Hm? Yeah I heard about it... Poor Kou, he must feel so abused by her. Also I asked him if he wanted to do a photoshoot with me and he said yes!"

My heart sank at her words... He really said that he'd do it with her? I get an Instagram notification that Kou updated his story, I went on and it read: Doing a photoshoot with Megumi! I'm so excited! I'll put pictures on later!

I turned my phone off in defeat. I'll stay with him for the plan... Not because I'm in love with him. I'm sick of the shit he does at this point. I wait for the girls to leave, which didn't take long so I left the stall and went to wash my hands. "Hey you stupid bitch!", A voice screamed at me. I ignored it. "DONT FUCKING ANNOY ME BITCH!".

I looked at her and I felt a strong impact on my face and I felt something run down my face. I looked in the mirror and blood was spilling down. The girl and her friends took turns hitting me and they left after 5 painful minutes.

I hate this...

I walk out to the nurse's office and grabbed a large plaster for my face and walked out. Why can't this day just end? I wanna go back and go to bed.

"Masokitty...?"

"Yeah... What's up?"

"What happened to your face?"

"I..."

I saw the group of girls snickering at me.

"I fell..."

"Is that right?", He said getting serious. The way he was looking at me made me wanna crawl under a rock and die. School was over before I knew it and the car ride was silent, a very awkward silence.

"I wanna talk when we get back Masokitty... I'm not very happy on how you were acting today, it was sooo embarrassing"

Yuma pursed his lips and widened his eyes, knowing that some major tea is going to go down.

"I'm sorry for being such an embarrassment...", I said shyly, not looking him in the eyes.

Does he honestly think that he'd be the one suffering...?

"I don't think you're an embarrassment Livestock... Kou, you need to think about Eve, her happiness should be your top priority. The plan is almost finished"

"I-it's really fine, it's not like it matters to me whether I'm happy or not...", I deadpan looking out the window.

"Jesus Christ! What the hell is your problem today?! You're starting to piss me off!", Yelled Kou.

"It doesn't matter, I'll just...deal with it myself or whatever", I sighed listlessly.

"Eve... isn't...acting...like...her...normal...self...at school... you...tend...to...be....much...happier...at... home....are...you...sure...that... you're... fine....at....school?", Said Azusa, clearly worried.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. Nothing that bad has happened", I said smiling.

"Oh, also I gotta go out later today", said Kou.

"Be back before dinner, what time are you going at?", Asked Ruki. He's such a mom sometimes.

"Uhhh... 12:00 to 15:00. Shouldn't you of all people be curious as to where I'm going Masokitty?", Hissed Kou.

"Not really no, just don't do anything dumb"

Kou ignored you for the rest of the car ride and avoided you for the rest of the night.

It was time for you to go to bed, you just went to your own room because you thought he didn't want you to sleep next to him.

It was 16:00... He should've been home by now... I checked his Instagram and...

He and Megumi made such a good couple... Comments on the post said that they should start dating, they'd make such a great couple.

What is this... Inferiority?

This crushing feeling like I'll never be good enough for Kou...

Do I only love Kou because... He's someone no one else can have? Do I see him as a trophy...?

Does he only see me as a blood bag? Something he can use for his amusement?

I turn off my phone and flop onto my bed, Jesus Christ, I wanted to cry until I eventually drown into my tears.

It feels like Kou's moving away from me... And I hate it.

Ruki POV-

"Explain this Kou", I ordered showing him an image on my phone of his going into some girls apartment. I was beyond annoyed with him for what he did.

Kou was looking at the photo in shock. "You slept with that girl didn't you?! Incase you haven't noticed, you have a girlfriend, who has seen this and questioning her worth to you"

"Ruki! I didn't sleep with her and most importantly, Y/N saw?!", He yelled. "She even said that you and Megumi made a good couple today at lunch"

Kou looked like he was about to cry.

"I knew it was weird, how she was always trying to avoid me at school. I ruined her..."

About time he came to his senses...

"She even told me that she'll stay to fulfill the plan, not for you. The stress of choosing an Adam was hard enough, but the stress of her Adam not loving her is worse"

Kou rushed off finally. Besides, I knew he'd never cheat on her. He loves her too much...

Y/N P.O.V.

I was looking outside my window and I heard running down the hall, Kou burst in with no context and rushed over to me.

I tensed up and closed my eyes, thinking that he'd yell at me but instead, he just stood infront of me helplessly crying like a child. He leant down and embraced me like I was going to disappear in seconds.

"I'm...I'm s-sorry! I was o-only thinking about m-myself!", He cried, I could barely decipher what he was saying yet I had an idea why he was being so apologetic.

Because I saw the picture of him going into Megumi's home and he wants me to keep being in his little harem.

I out one arm around him and keep a listless face, knowing him he's just trying to manipulate me into feeling sorry for him.

"Grow the fuck up, you're just sad because you got exposed and I'm just the most convenient to go and cry to"

He looked at me and started crying even more. "SHUT UP! I LOVE YOU AND I'D CHOOSE YOU OVER MEGUMI- NO ANY MAN OR WOMAN OUT THERE!", he yelled.

"R-Ruki told me that... You think that I no longer care about you or love you... I don't want to be around those girls, they only like me because I'm attractive and famous but you- you've seen me at my worst and most violent, yet you've still stayed with me... Thank you... Thank you so much Y/N, my precious Eve"

I hug him back and I felt like crying, however, there was still a little demon on my shoulder telling me that he was faking it.

"Kou...there's no way that I'd be good enough for someone like you"

His mood swing came and he aggressively grabbed my shoulders. "How the hell can you say that?! Jesus Christ, you're the most precious thing to me! I'd sacrifice my career for you in a heartbeat!"

I'm getting mixed feelings here, he says he loves me but he sounds like he's gonna strangle me any second. Why couldn't Yui be an option? She can be my Lilith but that's not the point.

"Stop lying to me...", I whisper, holding onto him tighter.

"I'm not... You know how much I hate lies"

"Stop lying..."

"I'm not", he said softly holding onto me.

I start crying quietly, feeling a lot better that Kou gave me the verification that I so desperately wanted to hear, yet there was still some lingering doubt.

We skipped school to hangout and to do other stuff.

Timeskip~ Monday

"Kou! You looked so handsome in that photoshoot!"

"Thanks! But I don't have time to talk today because I need to focus on my special lady", he said politely.

"It's been awhile since we both went to class together", I said. I was in much better spirits because he was with me.

I guess being around with Kou in public isn't that bad.

IDGAF if I made mistakes, just deal with it because I'm too lazy...

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

[80s-roger]

EX - Roger Taylor {pt 5}

well shit is going to happen really soon!

warning: this chapter contains hard-core smut

chapter six will be out soon

click here for part 4!

MASTERLIST

words +3k

on with the story!

You could barely work today. Your argument with Roger made you feel even sadder than you already were. Your boss came inside your office, looking mad.

"Y/N, I know you are with that famous drummer, but don't appear on the headlines please. I am afraid it will cause drama between the other assistants." Many of your co-workers, were jealous of you because you are dating the hot guy from Queen.

"I'm sorry boss, I can't control it. They follow us everywhere." you explained.

"Stay hidden if that's possible. I don't want your co-workers seeing you front page all the time. I don't even know if you're a worker here or a celebrity." He shook his head annoyed.

"I am a worker, my relationship has nothing to do with my work. I work and so does my partner." you stood for yourself.

"Then, keep a low profile at the world outside. I don't want my employees to be front page at the gossip newspaper. The next time this happens, you're fired." He warned you and the next thing you could think of, was being literally fired. Your time was coming. It was a matter of time being on headlines again. He left your office and you started packing your stuff to leave.

As you were walking at the elevator, one of your co-workers stopped you. There's Maya, that girl you talk with when you see each other.

"Hello Y/N! You look upset." She looked at you confused.

"I have had a terrible day." You slightly closed your eyes thinking of what has happened the last 48 hours.

"Oh, wanna have a drink? It's my treat." She offered.

"Sure, I'd like one." You smiled and you both entered the lift.

[...]

You tried to be really careful with your words. You trusted nobody. Anything you'd say, could be used against you.

"So how's Roger and you?" She asked and poured from her scotch.

"We have been better." You drank of your vodka, staring in the gap.

"You wanna talk about it?" She asked, approaching closer.

"We've had an argument at the morning. I was already stressed and he made it even worse than it was before." You looked at her with a sad vibe taking over your face.

"And what was it for?" She was weird.

"That's a couple's problem, I think we'll get over it." You nodded your head.

"Oh I see. You know, me and my girlfriend had a fight too. She acts strange. And I gave her some space." You forgot she was a lesbian. "Wanna get you another round?" She asked. Was she trying to get you drunk? You knew you had to refuse. You were also scared if the press would see you doing explicit stuff with her. You once had a one night stand with a girl. And you liked it a lot.

"No, thank you. I'll better get going. Roger and I have to discuss..." You lied. You didn't want him to appear on your doorstep.

"I understand. Well, at least, let me give you a ride home." She suggested and you agreed with her.

She finally arrived you at home. The silence in the car was entirely awkward.

"It was nice catching up with you."She smiled at you. "Hope you will fix the things with Roger." She reassured you, touching your thigh. You felt really uncomfortable with it but she didn't take off her hand.

"Yeah I hope so, goodnight." You rushed to get out of the car, afraid if anyone was spying on you and taking shots of you and Maya. You were scared she'd kiss you.

You finally made your way up to your home sweet home. You locked yourself in the apartment, exhaling all your countless problems. It was ten o' clock; the need to take a shower jumped inside of you. You really wanted to sleep and never wake up until the nightmare is over.

The warm shower you took, reminded you of some spicy moments Roger and you had in there. It was so hot in there but right now, things are so messed up. He did hurt your feelings, he made things worse. After wearing your nighty, you wanted to cover yourself between the mattress and sleep forever but the door wouldn't let you two hours after a good sleep. It was some minutes after midnight and you were terrified who'd it be.

You unlocked and opened the door, facing a drunk Roger, standing at the wall. You didn't want him at your home tonight, but your inner world welcomed him with flying colours.

"What the hell are you doing? Leave now." You angrily said to him.

"I'm not leaving." He possessed you just by looking at you.

"Roger, you're drunk again. Go away." You tried to push him away but he resisted. He was too strong to get inside.

"I know you can't say it more than twice. You want me and I want you." He grabbed you by your neck, kissing you passionately. You wanted to taste his lips again. But your inner anger wouldn't let him. You pushed him away.

"Fucking leave! You're drunk!" You yelled at him but he literally picked you up on his shoulders, leading you to the bedroom. "Roger stop it!" You screamed at him. But you wanted him to bang you. You were dying for his touch.

"I know you want this, don't make it hard." His cocky character made you wet in seconds.

"I don't want it when you're drunk and saying crap to me! I had a terrible day and that's all your fucking fault!" You pointed at him while he was getting undressed. He gave no shit.

"It's time to fix it then. Get undressed. You don't want me to have it done for you, do you? I have ripped off so many of those." He laid on top of you, kissing you with passion. You forgot all your problems in seconds. His perfume felt like a drug inside you.

You were desperate to be touched by him. He removed your nighty, leaving you on your black underpants. With his big palm, he massaged your breasts, leaving you moaning his name softly. He placed his head in your neck, leaving you hickeys and kisses.

"I need to know how much you want it." He said while you were enjoying his passionate kisses. You didn't speak as the arrogant bitch you can be from time to time when you're mad at Roger. He knew you were mad at him. That's why he wanted to tease you. He removed your underpanties, leaving you all naked in front of him.

His fingers were touching your private area. "You're so wet for me, but you're not telling me how much you want it. I'm not going to beg for it." He rubbed your clit, which sent you pleasure waves all over your body. But he slightly stopped, looking at you. You looked at him. He made that cocky smile of his waiting for your answer. "Why are you such a bad girl?" He asked you and tickled your body. "I'm afraid I have to be strict with you. I didn't want to. You made me." He smiled, leaning to the cabinet, grabbing some ribbons of yours and wrapping them around your wrists, against your bed. You had your hands tied behind the bed and you said no words. You loved that kind of sex you and Roger have from time to time.

"You won't move. And I won't be gentle. I'm warning you baby." He grabbed his condom, wearing it around him. He split your legs, having your area visible to him. His hands hugged your thighs when he got inside you, moving fastly, just like how you wanted it. You loved the dominant Roger. His hands were moving on your entire body, you both locked your eyes, staring each other. Yet, you said no word, which made Roger gain another orgasm. He was moving harder than before. All you did was just moaning. Not saying a single word, despite how much you wanted to. He always wants to hear how good he makes you feel, but not tonight.

"I want to hear it Y/N..." He moaned while he was about ready to cum. You wanted him to come first, but it was impossible. You already had your second orgasm and you were close.

"You don't worth my begging." You eagerly said.

"I don't?" He raised his eyebrow and removed himself from your vagina. You whimpered without wanting it. It came out naturally. You were so close on cumming, you didn't want him to know that too. His gaze turned again on you. "Oops, what happened to you babygirl? You want more? You're not convincing me..." He teased you. But you moved your hips provocatively at him, asking for more.

"But I want to cum too, it's not only your cock and your cocky self." You mocked him.

"You cum even when I'm looking at you. You just want extra credit." He untied you, but you thought you wouldn't be tied anymore. "No, no babygirl. You wished." You looked at him confused. "Turn over." He ordered and you did what he said. You loved being under him. "I will let you cum only when you say the words." He said while he was wrapping the ribbons from your wrists against your bed.

His hard dick, got placed inside you, filling you up entirely. You couldn't stop moaning and grabbing the bed's banisters. But you didn't say the words he wanted to hear. You got that nerve, reminding you what a jerk he was to you at the morning. "Fucking say it." He said and slapped your butt cheeks, leaving you red marks.

"No!" You said with your heavy breathing. His slaps, got tougher and you moaned loudly as a sign of pleasure.

His thrusts got deeper, faster and harder. You loved rough sex with Roger. He laid on top of you, pulling your hair and grabbing your neck without choking you of course whispering at your ear.

"I want to hear the words Y/N. Say them and you'll cum. Say them loudly, I want your neighbours to know." He aggressively said and bit you.

He was so close on cumming, but his ego wasn't pleased yet. He was rubbing your clit fastly and forcibly and now you were forced to shout as your legs were shaking.

"Oh my God Roger! Fucking hell! I cummed!" You desperately yelled after keeping these words to yourself for a long now. After hearing you, his voice was even deeper than it was before, his hands' veins could easily be seen next to your hands while he cummed inside of you. He finally untied you.

You turned over again, facing him. He was red after reaching his climax. So were you. He left your room, going inside your bath, washing himself and you were waiting for him naked at the bed. He laid next to you.

"You just had to say these words. Don't make it hard for both of us. You know I can make you finish no matter what." He said laughing. "And I wasn't drunk. Just two shots." He added.

"Fuck you Roger!" You angrily said turning around.

"Can I smoke here?" He asked looking at you when you were trying to sleep.

"No! Go outside, I want to sleep." You looked at him.

"You didn't look like you wanted to sleep ten minutes ago." He teased you again.

"Yeah because you were too busy fucking me."You said back and he laughed. "Good night now, I had a bad day." You turned your back at him again.

"But it eventually turned out good." He went outside the balcony, smoking one of cigarettes. You were staring at his silhouette before your eyes closed entirely again.

You solved your argument with him but you were still mad. Not as much as you were before though. You knew you loved him. You couldn't stay mad at him forever.

The next morning

You opened your eyes, staring at the balcony. It was sunny outside; the sunlight entered your slightly dark room, passing through the white curtains. You moved yourself and heard a soft groan coming next to you. There was a naked Roger hugging one of your pillows while he was still sleeping. You couldn't move because his arms were wrapped around you, not making you able to move. He's a heavy big spoon. It was 9 am. He should have left already. You had to wake him up.

"Roger you have to wake up..." You moved him a bit.

"Mhmm..." He groaned again not moving a muscle. "Just five more minutes." he said with his grumpy voice.

"But you're going to be late. And I have to get ready for my work too." You tried to push him off but he wouldn't let go.

"Fuck everyone. I want to stay here today." He kissed you at your cheek.

"But we're still not over everything. There are so many problems we haven't solved yet." You let go of his arms and he finally opened his ocean eyes.

"Everything's under control Y/N... There's nothing to worry about." You could tell he was lying. There was something wrong.

"You're lying Roger I know it." You got out of your bed, starting to dress up for your work. "What's happening? I know you know something." You said.

"We just woke up. Can't we just drink some coffee and talk about it?" He did the same as you.

"No Roger, we can't. The sooner the better. Do you know what my boss told me yesterday?" You loudly said.

"No, what did he say?" He asked clueless.

"He warned me that if he and my co-workers see me again on headlines and generally on spotlight, I'm fired!" You finally shouted letting out your anger.

"But you're gonna get fired. It's inevitable not to be taken photos..." He considered it. He looked serious. He thought of the tape and you knew.

"My life is getting ruined by everyone right now! I'm losing my job, my dignity, my privacy, you..." the thought of losing him, makes you sick. You don't want to lose him. You started crying. "I can't do this anymore." You laid down on the floor, covering your head with your legs and Roger ran next to you, hugging you without saying a word. What would he say? He knows you're messed up now.

"Things will be better, I swear." He said, comforting you. "Just tell me one thing, Y/N." he looked at you with eyes wide opened.

"What is it?" You asked.

"What would you do if the tape was leaked?" He said and you felt really weird with it. Like, he knew it would be leaked so he wanted you to be prepared.

"Do you know something? Why are you asking me that?" You panicked.

"I'm just asking you. We have to be prepared in any second." He explained but you couldn't stay calm.

"Just tell me the goddamn truth Roger!!" You screamed and stood up from the floor.

"Derek quitted himself from his manager tasks. We had a fight about... you know. The tape." He stood up too, moving his hands nervously.

"Oh my God Roger, I'm sold. I'm fucking done. He will have already sold the video!" You started moving like a maniac inside the room.  "What did he say?" You asked.

"I'm afraid he's doing what we're afraid of. We should... you know... Cover it." He tried to explain but it didn't make sense.

"He's going to make me get fired. Are you bullshitting me right now?" Your jaw was shaking. You haven't been at your good for two days now.

"Fuck your work. I can take care of you Y/N. I would marry you if that's what you want!" He yelled.

"I don't want you to marry me because you want to undercover the mess right now! We're both under pressure!" You yelled back. Neighbours heard load moans eight hours ago and now they hear the same couple fighting.

"It's not my fault, you know! It was you and him back then!" he shouted

"But now it's you, who has the fame and that can ruin my life right now!" you walked through the living room and he followed you.

"And I'm trying to help but you think you're helpless in this drama." He looked at you, still shouting but distance so minimized.

"I do feel helpless. But also defenceless. And I don't want that Roger. I don't want to feel powerless. Not when I know my past would be out in less than a day." You let out a breath, standing at the kitchen's counter. The tense was almost over.

"Listen... There's this press conference we have in a couple of days. If Derek attempts publishing it after the conference, he won't try to say shit about you cheating on me and stuff." He explained.

''And how's that going to happen?" You asked confused.

"I can prepare the paps about it. They know me as the hot drummer, who takes some risks. You know..." He kissed you, trying to take the tense entirely away.

"So you're telling me that you'll just go out there and say hey me and my girl made a hot tape which we're really excited about?" You mocked him and he was dead serious.

"Exactly." He came closer to you, at the point you could feel his boner between your legs. He was rubbing, against you trying to turn you on but the press wouldn't let you free.

"Babe, you're a musician, not a porn star. Besides, it will affect your career if you just say you're on a tape in which you're actually not." you tried to push him off but he didn't let go. Instead, his hands, entrapped you.

"Trust me, the fans love when they get to see their favourite celebrity naked. And the fun part of this, is that I'm not in there. It's just your ex's dick." He kissed you again.

"Yeah and me, entirely naked. Does that make you feel comfortable?" You asked him.

"No, it doesn't. Because I'm the one who can see you with no clothes. It actually makes me mad thinking you've been with many guys in the past." He made a weird face expression but you didn't seem bothered by it.

"I'm not a whore Roger. I was just looking for some guy to be with but it only turned out as a guy to have sex with. But look at you too. You've slept with many girls before too. It doesn't even make me mad." You said back annoying him.

"Yeah cause you are finally the only woman in the entire world who gets a dose of Roger Taylor inside her." He teased you and connected his lips with yours.

"You and your bloody ego..." you shook your head. "But why are you taking this risk? Taking the blame?" You asked.

"Because I fucking love you and I can't stand seeing you concerned and upset all the time." He hugged you. You felt so beautiful right then.

"I love you too..." You closed your eyes, smelling his majestic scent.

The fact Roger was about to take the blame on a sex tape he wasn't even starring, made you love him even more than before. It made you feel a lot better. There was a fuss coming soon about you and he was right there to pick you up and walk with you.

taglist: @rogxtaylor @bohemiansweede

[bootheng]

modern!au k(lance)

they're all in their 20's except for Shiro who's 30 and coran who's 50

first of all. miss me with that 'pining roommate' shit. I love miscommunication and making characters that r sexy bffs with one another

Lance meets Nyma through a Craigslist ad he put up saying he needed a roommate. the moment they met was a tragedy for everyone but them because they're that powerful and beautiful

lance with tousled hair, wearing a half-unbuttoned silk shirt and designer jeans, Michael kors sunglasses pushed up atop his head, arm wrapped around nyma: hi guys this is my roommate, nyma!

nyma, with her blonde 3-ft long box braids down her back, perfectly manicured red nails, bodycon dress and loubitons, hand on lances waist: hey

allura, shaking and on the verge of tears: STOP MAKING US LOOK POOR AND UGLY

Lance is in school for marine biology and Nyma works as a hairdresser and the both of them are small beauty gurus on YouTube that collab with one another

lance: hey guys we're going to be trying out the new anastasia pallete we got today :)!

nyma: and by got we mean shoplifted from sephora

lance: NYMA YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT

they're also insta baddies and both gender non-conforming baddies. Nyma is a nonbinary lesbian icon and lance is a nonbinary bicon.... those are like the fucking BEST senses of style

anyone with eyes can see that nyma is into and ONLY into girls but of course... heteronormativity.

rolo: I still don't get why you're dating lance. he's super annoying.

nyma: he doesn't bitch nearly as much as you even when he's got my cock in his ass

they do this thing where when people assume they're a couple they pretend they're some kind of kink couple and freak everyone out

which is why when hunk and pidge meet nyma they're like :eyes: but when nyma flirts with pidge lance doesn't even bat an eye and then lance starts pining about Keith's greasy mullet and his bags under his eyes and nymas got this look on her face that perfectly resembles a man who's lost all sense of normalcy and righteousness in his life and now sits in a bar every night listening to this dumb romance novel type shit and then pidge and hunk are like. oh. no they're just gay.

speaking of keith. he's one of those gays. one of the quirky emo gays that never sleeps and listens to 'coffee and cigarettes' on repeat and has like 3 strings of lights in his room and not only is an art major but ALSO a photographer. and yet somehow he still has the will to wake up at 5 am every morning and go to the gym like some kind of HEATHEN.

Lance knew Keith in high school for 3 years until he got expelled for fighting at the end of his junior year. He was also universally crushed on and was the bad boy jock of the school with a heart of gold so naturally Lance pretended to despise him so he could pine for him in peace

that all goes down the drain when Lance recognizes Keith in one of his classes and goes through the five stages of grief because a) he's hot and b) Lance is openly bi now so he doesn't have an escuse to not tolerate him

(He wasn't gonna do anything about it until he was put in a group with Keith a few weeks into class and he off handedly mentioned he went to Keiths high school, and Keith claimed he didn't remember him, and Lance was just a tad bit upset but was gonna leave it at that except after like 5 days of working together Keith slams his fists into the table and is like 'HOLY FUCK LANCE MCCLAIN?' And Lance is like. w. What.)

turns out Keith does remember lance. very vividly, actually. because he was the guy that everyone kind of had a crush on because he was so nice and charming to everyone he met, and Keith was SO gone for him. he just didn't recognize him tbh, which makes sense, bcuz in high school lance wore blue contacts and had straight hair and now he just wears glasses occasionally and leaves his hair wavy. Keith is gay and stupid don't blame him

keith, bursting into Shiro and Adams apartment at 2 pm: SHIRO HOLY FUCK

adam, bags under his eyes, underneath the covers of him and shiros bed: good fucking god not again

I'm tired of talking about ppl other than Lance and nyma though so I'm gonna talk about them for a bit because im love

as I said Lance has wavy hair and his actual eye color is brown but as he was growing up he was hella insecure about it that's why he wore blue contacts.... nyma caught him once trying to put them on again and put an end to All That Real Quick

nyma has brown eyes too and they're super dark, almost black, and that shits breathtaking bro. she usually has her real hair dyed blonde all the time and permed but she also likes to wear wigs and get braids too because she knows she looks damn good in them. everyone is jealous.

lance has tons of super light freckles. Enough said. nyma has a birthmark on her hip that's kind of shaped like a horse if you look at it from the right way

lance: you were a horse girl as a kid weren't u

nyma: how fucking dare. how fucking dare you say that. I really do have to laugh.......

nyma: obviously I was a warrior cats stan

lance's sense of fashion ranges from 'i went to California for a week once and now I can't stop wearing sweatpants and slides' to 'It's surprising I haven't gotten robbed at this point'. Lance is a scholarship baby so all the money he saved up through countless jobs and the one he already has at a coffee shop almost exclusively goes to clothes and kombucha

Nymas sense of style is definitely more on the eccentric side but since she looks good in EVERYTHING she gets away with it. think dollskill but with more neon colors and designer. she's the kind of person that never wears the same shade of lipstick for a whole month and has a box full of makeup palletes that are almost untouched and everyone who has seen it is both jealous and in wonder FENTYWAYS...

Keith goes over to lance's apartment for a project of sorts and immediately assumes that Lance and Nyma are a thing (they're very platonically affectionate, Nyma will kiss lance's cheek and they cuddle sometimes) which is disappointing but it's not a surprise considering Lance is so Lance and everyone else acts like they are dating so that must be the case, right?

lmao you thought.

nyma: holy shit. holy Fuck. God, allura is so hot. I would probably die if she brushed past me. I would die happily knowing I've been blessed by the touch of an angel.

lance: yeah haha she's really pretty.

keith, struggling to not choke on his coffee hearing All This at 9:31 A.M. in starbucks:

Keith asks if he can take photos of the two of them for his photography insta and they both jump on it so they can flex being sexy and afterwards Lance thanks him with a kiss on the cheek and Keith is sent REELING into gay mayhem.

lance: do you think that was like..... too much.

nyma: i think men are dumb that's what.

I mean u can't really blame Keith because Lance and Nyma are constantly joke-flirting with one another on social media and are in almost every one of the others photos in some way, or at least tagged, so by the time Keith actually works up the nerve to ask about that, it's been WEEKS since Lance kissed him and he's been miserably failing to ignore it

keith: so.... how's nyma doing?

lance: she's good! She's spent all day dying one of her wigs so she went for a coffee run lol. probably will hang with allura and shay later too

keith: and.... that doesn't make you jealous?

lance: LOL no.... they could never compete with me (talking about being Nyma's best friend)

keith: oh.... well, it's good that you trust each other a lot in your relationship.... you seem like a really good boyfriend

lance: wat the fuck did you just say.

as soon as lance explains that nyma is not his gf and they're just bffs Keith is like ohthankgod.jpg and almost accidentally asks lance on a date before he stops himself and is like.... dumb gay bitch calm DOOOWWWNN

after that it becomes very obvious that nyma and lance r just friends at least for Keith mostly through dumb shit they say to one another

lance, sitting with hunk, pidge, and Keith at the library: hey guys wanna see something cool.

pidge: go for it

lance, clearing his throat: she think she bad but I'm better, these bitches tryna play catch up-

nyma, coming out of nowhere: SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I'M TALKING LIL BITCH, PUT YO HEAD DOWN WHEN YOU TALK TO A PIMP-

Nyma and Lance have self-care nights every Friday, sometimes Allura or Shay will come, and very RARELY Keith if only to spend time with Lance. also? Allura and Shay are dating, die mad about it.

They do waxing, exfoliation, mud masks, moisturizing treatments, hair masks, painting nails.... need I go on. it's basically whatever they want to do that week and when Keith reluctantly agrees to participate one day Lance goes mental

lance: OK so here's what I'm thinking. it's obvious you haven't really had a self care day for a while, which is like, fine, you do you, but holy shit are your split ends bad. I was thinking maybe I could trim them and then we could do a hair mask? Oh! A face mask would be good as well, even though you've practically got perfect skin. I'd offer to wax but for first timers the pain is a bitch to handle on the face. I'm not sure if you'd be an acrylic kind of guy but I have some black nail polish that I could put on- wow, your hands are really big compared to mine, and they're so soft, haha, isn't that crazy? so what do you think?

keith, still reeling from the fact that lance is going to touch his hair, face, and hands in the next several hours: uh......yeah..... sounds great.

nyma, sitting on lance's bed in nothing but a bra and sweatpants, smoking a blunt and readjusting her sheet mask: *long exhale* christ

Shay got Lance into the whole healthy organic food thing and in turn he got Nyma into it so they're both the bitches who drink nothing but Fiji water and almond milk and will offer you a plate of sliced cucumbers and tomatoes as a snack. we Stan a vegan couple.

keith: these are actually really good.

nyma: we usually put them on our eyes, but go off I guess.

keith:

nyma: nah I'm just fucking with you, we have different cucumbers for that

by the end of the night Keith feels like he's been cleaned by a car wash and he's dizzy from all of lance's thoughtless affection and when lance says he can stay the night because it's already late, Keith mindlessly blurts out 'only if it's with you' and nymas like.... um. Wig.

keith, laying stiff as a board on one side of lance's bed: uh

lance: oh my God you gay bitch get over here and spoon me. also kiss me on the fucking lips bro.

Nyma owns a cat named Beezer that she stole from her old roommate (rolo) but calls her beebo because quote 'beezer is so fucking lame bro i hate men'. Lance owns a Russian blue mix called, you guessed it, Blue, that he found stuck in his apartments basement only a few days after moving in. Nyma and Lance are WEAK

lance: ohhhhh look at my pretty baby sitting on the table all cute and relaxed!!! look at that baby!!! fantastic stuff!

nyma, putting her head on beebos belly: You Are So Soft And So Chubby I Would Die For You

pidge would also die for the both of them

OK I'm tired and uninspired so I'll stop here but I MAY ADD MORE LATER

[tamiddyinyourcity]

1:13am.

I could kill a person with a look alone. If anyone enters this room, they might turn to stone.

(That's the poet version of "I feel exhausted, and angry, craving sugar, and upset".)

Monday, April 27th of 2020.

What's on my mind?:

Rowan is a lying cunt. Shoutout to Mr. Patches here, for the oh so classic "I'm not talking to any other girls" card you pulled, just for after my tweets the other day, WHEW, BOY, DID SOME VERY NICE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE A LOT OF--

I promised secrecy, but all I'll say is... Fuck you, Rowan. I feel much less bad about what I said to you now. And ironic, that the reason I left ended up 100% being accurate.

I would be hurt at knowing that he was pulling the "come onnnn, who CARES about long distance, we can make it wooork, it's gonna be us quarantined for months anyways so why not just get to connect now????", while simultaneously going "Well I'm not sure if long distance could work", excuse after excuse while never actually giving me the closure I'd need, by still continuing to lead me on anyway..... And I took the way he described using long distance "as an excuse" to one girl he's mentioned to me, as a signal of, "You're gonna end up clingy to him and sad just like her, if you keep sticking around."

Shoutout to Rowan. Life isn't as hard as one thinks. Wanna play the field? Say that. Want a harem? Say that. Just looking for fun? Say thaaaaaaat. God, why are they like this.

And I see why his bitch ass tried to claim he didn't act "relationshippy" with me..... Since he uses the same pet names and pervy attitude with hella other girls, and probably is used to it, meanwhile the girls are genuinely creeped out by him doing that too..... See, this is why a guy like him is single. I'd go more in depth to explain how creepy he was to one girl, but I promised not to....

I'll just be happy that I can remove all guilt now, since my intuition was 100% correct. And if he only raged at me the other day since multiple hoes now know he was sexting me, creeping on me, and insulting me willy nilly.... Then boohoo bitch, keep it in your pants next time.

And a bit of annoyance is present as well. So for the rest of my life, the only way to keep a man, is to not be interested in them at all?????????? Hell, Marco stuck around even an entire year after we first fucked, solely since he found me attractive and wanted to "prove himself to me". Its terrible. Whoever decided to make me bisexual instead of a full on lesbian made a mistake, all it does is make me want to fight men.

All Ro had to do was stay in his place with the sexual shit. Once a guy starts doing the "beautiful/angel/sweetheart/love" thing is the annoying part.... Like for fucks sake! Its a sexual dynamic! Don't make it W E I R D. And then they make it weird... and if I reciprocate, they suddenly wanna hit me with that "Well I don't get how you took me hitting you up constantly and calling you pet names outside of sexual context, flirting and praising you, nonstop talking, and showering you with attention as remotely romantic?????" Shit like that makes me want to punch a whore like him in the throat, but thankfully, he is in the UK.

It ruins the fun of a fling. Since damn nigga, have ur fun if u want, but crossing boundaries and being extra ruins it. Fuck's sake.

I hate this so much. I wanna go out, get dressed up, enjoy the sun with some gelato, enjoy myself.... this is really not enjoying myself.

I also really need sex. Dildos..... suck, honestly. They're too rigid, and are not attached to a man with nice hands to rub up and down by back during deep strokes, so what's the point????????

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I need sugar, desperately. I ran out of my snacks in my storage.... or well, the cookies I mean.... not in the mood to find my honey roasted peanuts, tbh.

But desperate times call for very desperate measures.

1:36am. I think I may be internally bleeding again, but hard to say... I please hope that I can get actual good sex when this ends. Or even just basic intimacy. A HUG OR SOMETHING! MAYBE A KISS ON THE CHEEK! AN ENDEARING HAND HOLD????? SOMEONES FOREHEAD RESTING ON MINE? A CUDDLE?

Aaaaaa! I could cry, really. My eyes are watering, i miss getting actual physical affection.

Gonna go eat something to make my stomach taste anything other than chicken and brown rice. Peace yalls.

[jacklesrpg]

Texting || Beckles (9/19)

J: If I had a quarter for every time I thought about U today I'd be rich

A: Oh yeah? You were thinking about me today?

J: All day

A: What were you thinking about?

J: Stuff

A: Stuff? What kind of stuff?

J: How much I love U

A: And how much do you love me?

J: A lot

A: How much is a lot?

J: I married U didn't I?

A: Yeah because Katie wasn't around

J: Good chat

A: You can't deny it, Jensen. I'm not starting a fight I'm just stating a fact.

J: Don't assume U know shit, Ashley

A: Can you honestly say that if Katie had stuck around that you wouldn't be married to her right now instead of me?

J: I can't answer that

A: Because you know I'm right

J: I had feelings for U before any developed for her

A: Okay

J: U need to stop thinking that what happened was because UR less than something

A: That's the way it feels though. Like I'm your consolation prize because she wasn't around. I can't help the way I feel about it Jensen.

J: I don't value one of U higher than the other, UR bother on the same level

A: You seriously don't see how that is a problem?

J: Didn't say that it wasn't a problem

A: Do you not understand how much that hurts me? It's like you don't care.

J: I can't help how I feel either, Ash. I'm not trying to hurt U. There's no reason anyone needs to be hurt anyway. There's enough love to go around.

A: That's not the fucking way marriage works Jensen. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too.

J: Can I ask U a question

A: Sure

J: Pretend non of this ever happened, when U used to look at Katie did U find her hot? Would U have done her?

A: Of course Katie is hot. I'm not blind. If I was drunk enough, maybe. Never really thought about t.

J: Do U care about her?

A: Do you really want me to answer that?

J: Answer it as if what happened didn't

A: Of course I cared about her. She was my friend. But what does any of this matter?

J: What if U could have both of us? Me and Katie in bed with U, the three of us one big happy family?

A: You're joking right? Are you insane? I don't want anything to do with her!

J: I'm trying to make a point that U think I'm trying to replace U or have U and her on the side when that's not it.

A: You expect me to share my bed, my husband, my family with that bitch? You're delusional!

J: Why is she a bitch? Because she was finally honest with her feelings? If she's a bitch then I am too because I did the same thing. U can't forgive me and punish her. Either U forgive us both or punish us both.

J: If it ever was to happen then what U walked in on was the beginning of our future and U wouldn't have a reason to be that upset. U should have joined in when U walked in. Everything would be pleasant right now

A: You know what Jensen. I'm so sick of being made out to be the bad guy for being pissed off at her. But since you so clearly don't want to make a choice then I'll make it for you. Go be with Katie. I know it's where you really want to be right now.

J: I wanna be with both of U, she wants to be with both of us, UR the only one with the problem. Let go of the hate and anger and just love and be happy. Life's too short for all of this.

A: Screw you Jensen. I WAS happy but clearly you weren't. So like I said, go be with her cuz I obviously can't give you what you want. We'll figure out a schedule for Brady.

J: UR not leaving

A: Yeah I am. I can't keep doing this.

J: I'll stop then

A: You can't just stop loving someone Jensen. So just go be with Katie. Go be happy. Just don't expect me to be waiting with open arms when she inevitably runs again.

J: I love U

A: I know you do. I love you too. But I can't live in a marriage where I'm one of two women you love equally. I won't live in that relationship. It's not who I am.

J: I'm always gonna love her equally but I married U and that means something to me. I chose to be here, I chose to be with U

A: I know you are that that kills me! Yes, you married me, you made vows to me but you're in love with someone else! You didn't choose to be with me Jensen. You're stuck because you married me. Well I'm giving you the out you so obviously want but are too scared to admit that you want. You're not stuck anymore. Go be with her.

J: Come to bed, Ash. UR upset about the conversation topic we gotta stop talking about Katie. Come on, let's just cuddle.

J: I'll sing to U

A: No. I'm going to a hotel. Brady is asleep and I don't want to wake him so make sure you keep the baby monitor on. I"ll come pick him up in the morning.

J: Ashley Ackles I love U I want to be with U please don't do this

A: I love you too. I have to do this. Now you can go be happy with Katie. I won't be in your way anymore.

A: Take care of my baby. I'll be here before you head to work tomorrow to get him.

J: I choose U over her. UR my choice. Ur who my heart wants to come home to. Please baby just come to bed

A: For how long Jensen? Until tomorrow when you're thinking about Katie and wish you were with her? No. I have to go. I'm already in the car.

J: U tell me to fight for U and when I do U still fucking go

A: It shouldn't take me leaving for you to fight for me! It shouldn't take me leaving for you to fucking choose your wife over your ex!

J: I made a mistake in Costa Rica but ur the one breaking up this family

A: Because I don't want to be in a fucking relationship with you and Katie? That's bullshit and you know it! You destroyed us the second you didn't want to make a choice. Don't you dare try to pin this on me! I was happy and you fucking ruined me! I'm a hallow shell of who I was! You did that to me! You made a mistake and YOU FUCKING DESTROYED ME! But all you care about is trying to get me to agree to let you have me and her. I can't do that! I won't do that!

J: It was a hypothetical question. I wasn't expecting U to say yes. I'm sorry I hurt U so badly but while UR sleeping alone in a hotel room I'm gonna be sleeping alone here and that seems stupid. I'm not going to be with Katie. UR leaving so I can be with her but even if U leave I'm not gonna so UR leaving for no reason.

A: I'm not stupid Jensen. I know you saw here when I was in LA. I know it's not a fucking hypothetical question. You've been hinting around since Costa Rica that, that's what you really want to happen. When you're with me I know you're thinking about her. Every time you send me a text I think to myself...did he mean to send that to me or Katie? If I took Brady with me tonight I have no doubt that you'd find yourself at Katie's before the end of the night.

J: I wouldn't because I want my wife but whatever. I got work in the morning I'll take Brady with me. Good night Ashley I love U

A: But you want her too, right? I said I'd be there to get him before you go to work but whatever. I'll get him from your set if I have to. Mmhmm. Believe it or not I love you too.

J: Not if it means I lose U.

A: I can't keep living like this Jensen

A: I love you more than anything Jensen. You were my forever but somewhere along the line I stopped being yours. I don't understand how you go from wanting more babies with me to screwing her and suddenly wanting a three person relationship. Why aren't I enough?

J: I still want more babies with U

A: Tell me the truth Jay, if Katie had stuck around would you have ever married me?

J: If I had stayed with her I can't say how our relationship would have turned out. U were doing UR thing with Jeff and Tyler too, Ash.

J: Say I didn't break up with Katie when I did and instead of U and me starting things U could've met someone else. These questions can't be answered. Things happened the way they did for a reason.

A: What reason could there possibly be for all this Jensen? What reason is there for you breaking my heart?

J: I wasn't trying to break your hear.