#I'll be back on here as more than just a queue at some point but for now I just. have nothing to post.

[14dayswithyou]

The 14DWY brainrot is real... >_< were ypu planning on sharing koi ren's design here too or is it discord only for now? remember to drink lots n lots of water today 🐸☔️

i don't rmbr if i included this but can you share any koi crumbs too?

✦゜ANSWERED: aaaaa I'm 14 years late to this ask (/silly), but thank you for reminding me!! I'll add the new Mer Ren design to da queue >:3

I'll also put the Koi Ren (I'm rocking with this new name!!) crumbs under the cut!!

"Stop rocking the boat, Ren." Without sparing a glance in his direction, you continue to stare out into the vast, open lake. "You'll scare away all the fish."

Had you turned around, you would've seen the faux-deadpan look on his face as Ren takes in the irony of your words. As if to prove a point, he gently swishes his tail in the water, which causes small ripples to form and (eventually) disturb your bobber. "I don't think the boat is the problem here."

"Okay, how about this... One more fish, then we can go back." You finally look back at your scaley companion — who was still leaning against the edge of your tin boat with a lazy smile — and give him a resolute nod. "Promise."

"Sure," Ren casually reaches into the boat to pick and pluck at some of your live bait. "But you said that about the last three fish."

"This will be the last one. I swear."

"You... swear?" You try to ignore the way Ren swallows up one of your minnows as if you weren't using them for bait as he continues to speak, "Like... curse words? Humans sure are weird creatures."

As if realising his comment, Ren's ocean-blue eyes widen slightly and shift towards your form. "N-Not... Not you, though."

With a laugh, you playfully try to nudge him off of the boat. All it does is cause it to tip slightly, but Ren steadies it when you show signs of losing balance.

"Alright. One more fish, then?"

You nod and cast your attention back to your rod once more. You don't even notice the silence — nor Ren slipping away — until you suddenly feel a tug on your line and call out to your companion in excitement. "That was quick!"

Quickly reeling it in, you wonder what kind of fish you'd just caught — it's definitely stronger than you anticipated, given how the rod drastically bends and snaps at every movement from the fish. And just as you see the shadow from the murky depths get closer, the ripples get bigger and cause a stir underneath your tin boat. Standing up now, you try with all your might to reel it on board...

...Only for a mess of black hair to emerge from below and peer up at you with a smug look.

"Ren!"

"Looks like you got a big one."

"C'moooon." You practically whine, though you allow Ren to haul himself into your tiny boat and rest his head in your lap. You can still feel his body shake from underneath your touch, no doubt still laughing at his poor attempt at a joke. "This doesn't count."

A beat passes before your fishy companion responds. "...Hm? Fine then."

Another moment of silence follows before he slithers back into the water without another word. Half of you worries that you might've said something to offend him (there was still the tiniest hint of a language barrier between you two). Still, it ultimately leads to nothing as Ren soon emerges once more — only this time, he's hauling the biggest largemouth bass you'd ever seen into your boat.

"This good enough?" He looks at you with wide, blue eyes. "If not, I can probably find a sturgeon and—"

"It's bigger than my boat!"

"Is this what your kind calls... exaggeration? Because your boat is big enough even for me to—"

"—Arghh! It's getting water everywhere! Put it back!"

It was almost comical how Ren tossed the fish over his shoulder and back into the water without breaking eye contact with you.

Another wave of silence hits, yet neither of you seems to move or break the awkward staring contest you'd somehow started. It's then when you notice Ren's grin get bigger — most likely at your resignation and embarrassment — which causes you to fall back into your seat in defeat.

"Fine. Enough fishing for today. Let's head back." Busying yourself with the bucket of fish and tacklebox in front of you, you secure your gear and pack everything away. But it seems Ren had other plans, seeing as he took it upon himself to climb back into your boat and rest his arms on your legs. No longer able to move as freely, you have no choice but to indulge in his carefree whims.

"But you caught me. Aren't you going to bring me home too?"

"As much as I want to," Truly, you do. You've always wanted to show Ren the world outside of Lake Bluemoss. "There's no way I'm carrying you all the way down the mountain."

"You never know until you cry."

"Try." You correct him. "Until you try."

"Your kind sure are funny." Ren nuzzles himself closer. "Perhaps another time, then... Stay here tonight."

Your body pricks up at his words, and you spare a glance at the abandoned boathouse near the dock. Despite its rough and rugged exterior, you and Ren actually made it quite comfy. It had some of your old blankets and sheets thrown over one of the boats to make it comfortable to lounge in — alongside a giant empty tank that you and Ren filled with water for him to sit in as well. Despite the lack of human traction, the place still felt homey and well-loved.

"...I guess I could."

"Then what are we waiting shore?"

You had to roll your eyes at his attempt at a pun.

[yeostars]

𓆩♡𓆪 ateez kissing your hand out of their affection for you <3

{maknae line ver.!}

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

ᯓ★ san

• "sannie, make sure to tell them to add extra sugar in my coffee. You know I like sweet stuff, right?" You tap your boyfriend on the shoulder, who's standing in the queue at your nearby café store. You both decided to go try out the deserts and coffee at the newly opened café because the whole town was talking about it, and san knew how much you loved sugary foods so he accompanied you here.

• "You're already full of sweetness, my love, how much more sweetness do you need, y/nnie~" San said this, almost shouting and that too in front of all those people in the queue. Your cheeks immediately turned red because of san's words and the fact that quite a few people were starting at you right now.

• "Common. D-dont say such stuff in front of everyone. I'll be waiting for you at the tabl-" before you even got to complete your sentence, san grabbed you by your wrist, almost twirled you around and placed a sweet kiss on the back of your palm. You were even more flustered than before now. "Mmm. Definitely much sweeter than the deserts we'll have later, I can guarantee you that." San said, grinning. You playfully slapped him on the arm and returned to your seat, thinking what the hell just happened and why your boyfriend was such a cheeseball- but let's be honest, you loved it.

ᯓ★ Mingi

• Since it was the weekend, you decided to go shopping with your boyfriend at a nearby mall. You both wanted to buy a few new clothes and other stuff since a long time and now you finally got the opportunity to do so, together.

• You both entered a store which had absolutely stunning collections in both male and female options. While Mingi was strolling through the males section, you were are the females section and a beautiful dress caught your eye. However, the form of that dress seemed unsettling to you. You were contemplating long and hard weather you should buy that dress or not, and amidst that, mingi appeared besides you, asking you weather you had selected something to buy.

• "Nothing much yet, but hey, what do you think about that dress?" You asked him, pointing at it at the above rack. Before mingi could even respond, you added "I- I'm not sure it would fit me well. It looks so beautiful but I surely won't pull it off that well." You said. Mingi noticed your cute pout while looking at that dress and slowly took hold your hand near to him, and placed a soft kiss at the back of your palm. "You'd look amazing in that, y/n, I'm so sure of it. How about you go try it in the changing room, atleast? Although I'm sure you don't need to do that because according to my vision, you'll look GORGEOUS in it." Mingi said, and you flashed him a grateful smile, your heart melting because of his words. "you're too sweet. You flatter me all the time."

ᯓ★ Wooyoung

• You and your boyfriend were enjoying a day off at home, doing your own stuff: you were reading a book and wooyoung was gaming in the living room. You came up to wooyoung after you finished reading your book, sitting next to him on the couch, watching him game. "Hey, I wanna try gaming too. Mind if I play against you?" You said, watching how interesting the game he was playing looked like.

• Wooyoung let out a witch-like laugh. "Gaming? And you? Y/n, babe, please- last time you asked me to let you try out gaming, you were so frustrated you almost broken my gaming equipment. Not to mention what an absolute noob you are at playing. I-" You flashed him a pout and crossed your arms at him, not in a cute way but it was your habit when he teased you about something.

• "Fine, i just wanted to spend some time with you, and all you do is tease me. Guess I'll just go hang out with my friends for the rest of the day, then." You said, picking up your phone to text your friends, but wooyoung kept his gaming console aside, and took hold of your hands, gently kissing your knuckles. "Hey, I'm sorry. You know that I love to tease you because of how cute you are, right? How about we cook something delicious later together, cooking is something we're both very good at." He said, and you flashed him a smile, searching up on what you and wooyoung could cook together later.

• Jongho

• Jongho mentioned to you, on the phone that he'd come home a little late than usual because of their extended rehearsal. You asked him if he had dinner yet and he replied that he didn't have it, yet. You told him to not eat outside because you were preparing a special dinner for the both of you tonight, and Jongho said that he'll come home as soon as he can.

• An hour and a half later, the doorbell rang, and you opened the door, revealing your boyfriend in quite an exhausted state. You asked him to sit directly at the dinner table to eat. "Damn, i smell something delicious. Y/n, you won't believe how much I contemplated not eating whatever the boys had ordered from outside- I told them I'm leaving space in my stomach because you cooked something special for me. It better be good- I'm sure it is, actually." He said, and you giggled, setting up his food for him on his plate. He tasted one of his favourite dishes and a sigh of satisfaction left his mouth. "Mm, that's so delicious. As expected, your food never ever disappoints, Y/N." He said, and you smiled, watching him eat heartily.

• "I'm glad you liked it so much. A part of why I love cooking for you is because of your reaction and how well you eat whatever I make for you." You said, after the both of you finished eating and Jongho helped you take the dishes to the sink. "And a part of why I love you- is because you make such delicious dishes for me. Thank you, Y/N." He said, taking hold of your hand & kissing the back of your palm, gently. You blushed, whispering "you're always welcome", thinking about him kissing your hand the entire night - your smile never fading while reminiscing that moment.

[lovvecherrymotion]

okay very brief munich gig report (mostly under the cut) i probably am forgetting 90% of stuff but let's goooo:

i got EE and i was there by 10 am? i was number 39 and i was pretty okay with this. i did end up getting a really good spot anyway

munich queue 💜💜 i mean, i've already made a post about meeting all of you, but it was truly lovely. i got so many gifts and bracelets! this fandom is full of talented, kind people

the soundcheck was ngvot (every single time i've been to a show i've heard ngvot at some point lol) and vem da greš, both of which i really enjoyed

I GOT TO GIVE NACE MY GIFTS!! like i don't even think he heard what i said BUT THEY'RE WITH THEM. FINALLY. i can be at peace now lol

i really enjoyed both Sector 5 and JC Stewart! they were both pretty good openers! i hadn't heard any of their music before, but i still had fun

WE STARTED WITH KATRINA WHICH I WAS SUPER HAPPY ABOUT

AND I GOT BELE SANJEEEEEE. and bojan said we nailed it the first time which had me like "duh, ofc, i'm here????" I WOULD NEVER FUCK UP MY BELOVED BELE SANJE

we got both Šta bih ja & Schlager. i really really really wanted Bluza so hopefully in london 🤞 i enjoy Schlager more that i've listened to it live lol (and jance were very cute during this song)

on the topic of jance, everyone was mentioning the nacekris was strong last night but as someone who was right in front of jance and barely got to see the others honestly it was kinda hard for me lmao i didn't get those vibes at all. i was so shocked opening tumblr hahahaha. jance were super sweet and smiley and 🥺💕 a solid 95% of what i captured was them and i can assure you they were both very soft and happy

no pijano :((( but he did help bojan at the start of EW and it was very sweet, i love them so much

bojan spit on me. better said, he spit on jan but i was, well, right in front of him, so i got it too lmfao

during the UM bojan was also right in front of me because a little girl got to sing with him (and even went on stage!!!!) and then a super sweet 15yo girl who had her birthday yesterday also got to sing UM - i was next to both of them so i saw bojan VERY WELL. he didn't actually go into the crowd this time

during novi val i made a finger heart at nace AND HE SMILED AND DID ONE BACK AT ME. i know it was for me because everyone got the half hearts lmfao (and then @flananjan told me you could see the heart in a story they posted on their insta and i almost died on the subway back to the hotel)

at some point (i can't remember before which song but i'll probably figure it out when i look at the photos) i put my portuguese flag on stage and jan picked it up 🥺🥺 he then asked me in the softest fucking voice "Portugal?" and i was able to say two entire words to him "yes, Portugal" AND I DIDN'T EVEN DIE ON THE SPOT. he then placed it down and like idk i just!!!! jan knows i exist and i'm portuguese BYE

and when i thought the night just couldn't... well, get any better, JAN GAVE ME HIS PICK. his hand was warm and like way softer than i expected??? this is now my most prized possession. i literally CANNOT believe jan peteh himself gave this to me

the boys didn't come out at the end because they were tired, apparently??? but i was still very happy about all of this. i'm now way less stressed for london (because i won't be carrying around a bag full of stuff for them omgggg) and manifesting i get to meet them then 🙏

munich, thank you for having me 💜💜💜 i can't wait to come back

[front-facing-pokemon]

Do you know if Falinks is gonna survive the gen 8 model hell..... I wanna rip off the bandaid if not </3

lucky for you, it's already in the queue. you all are seeing the posts from right at the beginning of the model hell right now—i've actually gotten through it decently well at this point and i'm kinda back in easy territory now that i know how to handle the issues i've come across. not easy easy, mind, as it still takes more work than it used to for every model, but i'm getting them working with much more efficiency than i ever was back when i was doing hattenna and hattrem and all those fuckers. i could redo them nowadays and they'd probably look better, but that's only if enough folks care. anyway, as is tradition, here's your falinks sneak peek:

this one was rather nice to me, if i remember correctly. and i do love me some falinks. they'll go up on saturday at 1:20 PM — stay tuned!

eastern time! that means at the time of writing this, it's 4:42 PM! i've said it a few times, but just for reference: the queue posts pokémon at 1:20 PM and 4:40 PM eastern time every day. impidimp just went up as i was writing this, actually!

i'm glad some folks are enjoying it. i remember it being somewhat hellish to make, but that was back before i'd refined my strategy. it's still unfortunate that this strategy will only Really work for gen 8, though, and will likely stop working in gen 9. but i know what i'm doing now, for the most part, and hopefully i'll be able to figure it out when we get there

[glowingbadger]

Hey remember all those things I said I had on my queue and was working on? Yeah this isn't one of those- it just, like, arrived in my brain fully formed and here it is. Far be it from me to turn away from something that breaks through my writer's block lmao. Askr's godly bull-cock got me feeling some kinda way these days I guess.

Once again this is one that I wrote almost entirely in one sitting, so I'm sure I'll spend my work shift tomorrow fixing type-os, weird phrasing and word repetition lmaooo

CW: Mating, "in heat," size kink, like, kind of unrealistic levels of size kink tbh his cock is fucking absurd and I don't care fight me

Askr (FEH) x Reader/Summoner (AFAB, no pronouns)

NSFW 18+

Askr, the God of Openness himself and namesake of the very land that the Order of Heroes calls home, is not at the bottom of the list of heroes you'd expect to run into during a clandestine midnight snack-run, but he's certainly nowhere near the top. Though, as you head from the pantry with pastry in hand, colliding with a hard wall of towering muscle does help to narrow down who you'd guess you had run into. Your face flushes just slightly as you glance up at him, still very much sharing personal space.

"Oh- Askr! Sorry, I-"

"There you are," he says, an odd note of relief in his voice. You frown a bit, confused, and instinctively move to step away. To your surprise, a strong arm wraps firmly around your waist, pulling you decisively back to him.

"Askr, what-"

His lips are on yours in an instant, the pastry in your hand tragically falling by your feet in the rush of shock, confusion, and hot, insistent arousal. A shaky moan escapes you as his tongue enters your mouth. Your hands are trembling, clenching tight around the front of his clothes, though you can hardly feel them; in fact, for some time, you can't seem to feel anything but body warmth and Askr's deep, impassioned kiss. His tongue toys with yours, firm, but never overly rough. He's a surprisingly adept kisser- it's your last coherent thought before the cavalcade of sensations washes your mind clear. At some point, he's pressed you to the closed pantry door, trapping you between it and his powerful frame. In the dizzying frenzy, it's as if you can feel his hands everywhere- fingers in your hair one moment, then his palms running the curve of your breasts, your hips, then grabbing firmly at your ass to keep you flush against him. At this, you realize that he's even lifted you a couple inches from the ground, and yet he supports you effortlessly. It's only when you notice him beginning to tug away your cloak- hastily thrown on over your sleeping clothes for this errand -that you manage to part from his lips with a ragged breath.

"What- what are you doing?!" you gasp out the words, though you can't bring yourself to even try to escape his embrace. If anything, Askr seems perplexed by your question, his brow furrowing and furry pointed ears twitching curiously as he replies,

"My Heat has begun, Summoner. I have need of a mate," your heart leaps at the words, and he nears your lips once more, warm hands sliding up your thighs and along your hips, "And I desire you far more than any other."

"Oh..." when he begins kissing you again, it's gentler- at least to start. You get the sense that he's gauging your reactions, eager to earn your little whimpers and sighs of encouragement. As you subconsciously allow yourself to melt back into him, it's not long before you feel his breath coming heavier, his hands gripping you tighter against him. It's maddening- his heat?? You'd heard that some of the other beast-folk in the castle experience similar fits of need, but you'd never considered that this land's God would be subject to the same. And to think that he wants you as his mate. Not to say that you had never considered sharing his bed, but this is all so sudden-

The thought finally occurs to you that you're pinned to the outer pantry door still, tongue tangled with a god in full view of anyone else in search of a late-night snack, and you break from him with a haggard, panting breath.

"Askr-" your hands are resting on his warm, firm chest, your body flush to his, "Not- not here."

At first, he looks about to protest. Then, he nods with an accommodating smile.

"Ahh, that's right, humans prefer a measure of discretion when mating, correct?"

"Uh, yeah, typically- woah-!"

Just as you've finally caught your breath, you're swept into Askr's arms, carried with ease down the hall towards your quarters.

The second you're beneath him on your bed, Askr begins undressing you, seemingly exerting enormous self-control to avoid damaging the seams. His own clothing comes off in bits and pieces between frantic kisses and caresses, the last of it even simply vanishing as though it had been merely manifested by his power alone. He hardly gives you time to consider the mechanics; the moment he has access to your bared upper body, his strong hands hold you close and his lips are at your breasts. His mouth is warm on your skin as he kisses you firmly, his teeth grazing just harsh enough to mark you more than once. Your fingers weave through his hair, as soft and thick as the fur of his ears, and you murmur his name,

"A... Askr, have you... been with a human before?"

"Several- it is a joy to bond more deeply with the mortals of the many realms," he says with a smile, his lips brushing your stiffening nipple as he speaks, "Though there has been none other that I was quite so fond of as I am of you."

This nonchalant response sends your heart thudding rapidly. Still, it is a comfort that he seems to understand that he must prepare you, and what's more, he seems to revel in the process. His tongue circles your nipple, and your head turns to the side with a pleasured sigh. He's practically nuzzling your breasts, his hips shifting subtly between your thighs as though he simply cannot help wanting to rut against you.

"Ohh..!" You feel the heat and pressure of his rigid cock pressing to your warmth, and the sensation sends a jolt up through your center. Askr may be in the throes of his Heat, but you're quickly finding yourself every bit as needy.

As his lips travel lower, sparking tender nerves down your torso as his hands adore your hips and thighs, you run your fingers through his hair and softly whimper his name. Then, his kiss sinks between your thighs, his fingers part your lower lips and his tongue immediately finds your clit. Now, his name is a desperate cry between breathless moans. With slow but firm strokes, he rubs and massages the little nub until it's stiff and aching for him, and your body arcs up from the bed. Without thinking, you grab hold of one of his horns and tug, hips rolling against him, grinding onto his tongue, and you feel him laugh through his nose.

"If I didn't know better, I would say you appear to be entering your own Heat."

His breath is hot against your skin, and the moment he's done speaking, his mouth is hard at work once more. Askr possesses none of the hesitation or timidity of some other men; he happily buries himself between the plush wetness of your folds, long passes of his tongue lavishing your most sensitive nerves with affection. From the flat of his tongue to the more pointed and focused feeling of the tip, he tastes you any way he can, spoils you with every kind of sensation, groans unabashedly against you when you tug at his horns. When your climax nears and your thighs begin to tremble around him, he grabs them in his hands and doubles down, kissing and sucking your quivering little clit until, with a gasping cry of his name, you feel it. The tingling heat of your orgasm rushes through you, tightening your nerves and then leaving you breathless and boneless as you slump back onto the bed. You're panting softly, your hand still fondly combing through his dark cobalt hair.

Despite the urgency of his needs, Askr allows you a few spare moments to rest. He occupies himself with kissing the softness of your inner thighs, caressing them in his large, strong hands, until it seems he simply can't delay any longer.

When he rises to kneel over you, your legs parted around him, you blink your eyes back into focus and get your first clear look at his frame. Every inch of his body is carved to perfection, his brown skin smooth across flawless muscle that flexes subtly with every movement. His tail whips impatiently behind him, though his eyes on you are warm and affectionate still. Then, your gaze lowers, and your eyes widen. His cock towers between your thighs, the shockingly thick shaft punctuated with veins leading up to a bulging head with a prominent crown that you can't help but imagine rubbing you inside. It's hard to determine whether his length or girth is more impressive, and his balls are large and heavy enough to match. You catch your breath, feeling the heat surge through your nerves.

"Oh, wow, you're uh... big..." your voice is barely audible, but he smirks at your words.

"I will start slow," he assures you, leaning down to kiss you once more as your bodies begin to move together. The moment the swollen head of his cock is nestled between your lower lips, just beginning to push into you, you gasp softly, then whimper his name as you feel each inch start to stretch you open around him. He's panting hard- you wonder if from the stimulation, or the effort to restrain himself. Likely both. His muscles are tight, his brow deeply furrowed as he drives deeper still, yet retains a slow and careful pace.

Your nails drag down his powerful arms, yet he hardly seems to notice, certainly doesn't flinch even for an instant. When your eyes catch his at last, they appear hazy and unfocused, and only become more distant as his hips begin to move.

"Oh--!!" You breathe out as his cock pistons into you, steady and firm, filling you deeper than anyone has ever reached before. You feel a jolt of pain in your belly, but also, the warm bliss of absolute satisfaction. Drooling with arousal, your cunt is wrapped tight around his length, filled utterly and completely with each sway of his hips. Just as you'd imagined, the ridge of his crown massages a thousand different tender spots with every thrust, like some sort of erotic toy- like Askr's body was made for this pleasure.

Before long, he's bucking into you faster, harder, and you're not sure he even realizes it. Without a word or a thought, he lifts your legs up onto his shoulders, never easing his pounding, punishing thrusts. His massive length is coated in your juices, allowing him to stuff you full again and again despite his overwhelming size. The only sounds he offers are occasional grunts and moans. His eyes are glazed over, lost in his drive toward relief, and it finally occurs to you how he must have strained to contain himself until now. Now, you're not even certain if he would hear you if you spoke his name, though you gasp it out into the quiet of the night all the same.

"Fuck..!"

Your head tilts back on the pillow at a sudden deep and decisive thrust. If you weren't bent into a mating-press, you even wonder if you'd be able to see the bulge of his immense member throbbing within you. A particularly fierce groan of pleasure draws your focus, however, and you feel Askr's pace stutter as he fucks desperately into you. You only have a moment to wonder if he's reaching his climax, before the potent twitching and swelling of his cock catapults you towards your own.

"Ah... Askr!!"

Your toes curl, your thighs shake, your eyes roll back. It's only when you feel a tell-tale heat dripping from your cunt and down your ass that you realize he'd cum as well, all without easing his pace for even a moment. Even the rush of his orgasm doesn't slow him in the slightest. Askr holds firm at your hips and slams into you just as vigorously, even as you feel the last throb of the aftermath of his release. The only concession he offers is to lower your legs from his shoulders, but the moment they're out of his way, he presses his larger body down onto you and his lips are at the crook of your throat.

"Mmmh, Summoner... my beloved mate..." his voice is low and lustful, the relentless sway of his hips still pounds him into you, "You feel perfect... I... I need more-"

His teeth press to your skin, quickly marking you, and it's all you can manage to run your shaky hand up his neck and into his hair. Briefly, you imagine yourself emerging from your room tomorrow morning, unsteady on your feet and covered in Askr's love-bites. If your mind had room for anything but sexual bliss, you might have felt bashful about the idea. Instead, your fingers curl, nails dragging along his scalp as his lips travel back to your breasts. Between panting breaths and bruising kisses, he groans out,

"You... take me so well, my Summoner," you feel yourself tighten around him at the word 'my,' squeezing around his rock-hard cock, "Your body... Nngh-" he throbs, grinding deep within you, "So good... I-I need... Mmmh-!"

In the throes of his mating frenzy, you're shocked he can still coordinate himself to manage it, but he slides a hand down your body to rub his thumb firm against your clit. You gasp aloud, throwing your head back and scraping your nails down his arms. Your legs tremble around his hips, still bucking and swaying against you, and in the intensity of this whirlwind of sensation, you're almost embarrassed by how quickly you cum. Slick covers his thick shaft once again, welcoming him into you still.

Gods above, are you going into a Heat of your own, just as he'd said? You can't imagine how else you've managed to take this- you're swept up into his pace, more than happy to give yourself over to his seemingly endless appetite.

"Fuh- Fill me, Askr," you moan out, barely able to meet his heated gaze, "Give it to me- muh-more! Ohh!"

His cock throbs from base to tip, stimulating your every aching nerve. The sound the utters could only be called a growl, and his grip at your hips is nearly painful.

"I- I can take it..!" you're breathless, but force the words out, "Cum for your mate, Askr!"

This time, when he cums, it shakes him from his pace. His hands slam down on the mattress on either side of you, and he sheaths every inch of that incredible bull-cock in your abused but soaking wet pussy. It hurts, yes- but gods, the pressure is mind-numbing, all-consuming bliss. As he unloads volley after volley of hot release into you, you feel your entire body tingling and your mind going white. And at last, he moans your name- not 'summoner,' not 'mate,' but your name.

The moment he's ridden out the wave of his second climax, Askr exhales heavily. Then, still fully inside of you, he wraps an arm around you and cradles you to his sturdy body, kissing you slowly and deeply. A pathetic little whimper escapes through your nose, and if you could feel any of your limbs, you'd have liked to hold him in turn. Instead, he gradually parts from your lips and eases you back down, then turns you onto your stomach.

"You should not make a habit of tempting me with such words," he says as he moves to mount you from behind, "If you indulge me, I will have no choice but to take you until sunrise and then some."

Strong hands grab roughly at your backside, spreading you open to receive him once more. The new angle awakens nerves that had begun to acclimate to your prior position. It's like he's stretching you all over again, fitting you around him in a new way that as you panting and whining beneath him, fingers clenching hard around the sheets. Askr draws close, the warmth of his body surrounding you as he fucks into you once more, your cum and his both slickening his manhood, making a mess of your inner thighs.

You lose track of time after this- how long does he take you, and how many times? There's no telling, it's all a blur of hands down your body, lips at your neck and shoulders, and his member rutting into you until he's spilled another sizeable load or two of his release into you- perhaps more, as he's proven fully capable of fucking you through his orgasm. By the time you gather yourself to speak, you're a wreck of flushed and bitten skin, disheveled hair and trembling limbs.

"Nh... Askr, you... feel so good, I-I'm not sure... how much more I can take..."

Askr gives a short and gentle laugh, holding you against him for a moment to kiss the shell of your ear.

"Rest, then- and we will continue when you are ready."

He eases his cock from you, which you note is barely any softer after all of this time. Thick and veined, its contours rub pleasurably against you even as he pulls out, and when you speak, your voice is breathy and weak,

"Are- are you sure you don't, uh, need more?"

You rally your muscles just enough to turn and look up at him, and he smiles that sweet, charming smile that you know so well.

"You are far too generous, Summoner- to all of us, I fear," he rises from the bed and takes his lower garment in hand, tying it around his waist as he gazes fondly down at you, "I will not claim to be fully sated- but I would much rather savor you than simply exhaust you," With a good-natured chuckle, he brushes a lock of your hair back into place, "I will have my fill of your pleasure- but there is no need to rush. My needs have been curbed for long enough to allow you that much, at the very least."

You smile back up at him, heart leaping at the handsome sight of him still mostly exposed and smiling with such open warmth.

"Now then," he says, turning towards the door, "You will need water, I imagine- and something to eat. Wait here, I won't be long."

Before you can say a word, he's out the door, and the thought immediately strikes you- he's simply strolling around the castle like that, with a mere sheet of fabric that doesn't even wrap all the way around his hips for cover. How many heroes might be wandering about the grounds, even at this hour? You envision Gaius on his way to raid the pantry. Linhardt or Lute on their way back from a late-night study session. Volke or Hubert doing... whatever it is that those sneaky sorts get up to at night. What are the odds that this night could stay strictly between you and Askr? Not high, with him waltzing about nearly nude, very obviously leaving and entering your bedroom. Aside from which, from the sounds of it, you have several more intensive rounds of 'mating' to come. Your face warms and your lower body aches at the thought.

"Gods..." you mutter up at the ceiling, though you can't help a weary, blissfully happy smile.

[septembersghost]

my queue was supposed to run out tonight (11/19) - i'm nothing if not someone who clings to dates and anniversaries, and exactly a month ago, i realized i had enough posts stowed in it to last until today. of all the days. kismet. you know when it's time to go. but i ended up adding some posts from my (still copious) drafts, and no matter how i finagled it, it was impossible to make them all fit by the time today ended. so it gets a little bit of extra time. maybe, in honor of this blog's existence, that's fitting.

you all know this, i've said it, typically in gratitude, many times already. this blog was never meant to last. i came back in november 2020 expecting a couple of months, maybe to be here until the new year. i told very few people, anticipating the goodbye, not wanting to cause anyone undue anguish when i had to vanish again. something i didn't expect was the sheer (admittedly devasting) emotion that would tie itself to those two weeks when i started interacting again, nor that it would have any outreach or impact, but somehow it did. then time kept spinning on, extending itself, gossamer threads unfurling each day. my following kept growing, far beyond what i could have anticipated, greater than i'd ever established on any of my previous blogs. moving around is unfortunately a pattern at this point, every time for reasons that felt quietly catastrophic. not being able to pay bills for a while. angel's death and the ensuing difficult circumstances. so here, i kept anxiously imagining why i'd eventually have to leave, how to plan for it. poverty issues. the homelessness we were facing through the entirety of a couple of years until last august (and my dad having to be the saving grace). worsening health issues. i never knew, i couldn't predict it, i just worried about it. often tried to brace for it. maybe i got too comfortable this year, because this was when i started to think it wouldn't happen, that i really could stay. little did i know. and the reasons...are not reasons i ever fathomed, why would i have? how could i have? i wish it weren't so. (i wish a lot of things.)

i thought sometimes about the words i would leave you with, none of which are suitable now. i almost wrote nothing, yet found that feeling wrong, couldn't leave without something about parting.

thus it turns out i'm leaving before it's strictly necessary, before it's the fear of personal catastrophe coming to fruition, not knowing what i'll do or where i'll metaphorically go, as that is the downside of chronic illness and isolation narrowing this to my sole outlet. (lyrics keep running through my mind, there are always lyrics stuck in my head. no matter where i go, there'll be memories that tug at my sleeve, but there will also be more to question, yet more to believe...teach me to be more adaptive...help me say goodbye). my body is in such a fragile state right now (my mind not far behind) that maybe what i need to do is rest. just rest for a while.

this blog was never meant to grow the way it did, to take asks and have conversations like i did, that was a somewhat new (sometimes scary! often fun) experience for me. it's one that will never be replicated. to my loyal and lovely anons, i'm so sorry that i had to cut you off unexpectedly and couldn't reinstate communication - i know that you weren't able to reach out to me as soon as i did that, and that certainly wasn't your fault, it was a response to the tenor of this website. i apologize for the hundreds of messages i never had the chance to answer. i'm appreciative of the things you shared with me and all the times we got to talk.

i sincerely hope some of you learn to be kinder and wiser and less reactionary and more willing to learn and to listen rather than to attack those who have never wronged you and who do not deserve that. i'm being too nice, but i hope you learn that misusing your supposed social justice to do harm and foment hatred and stew in ignorant cruelty makes any principles you purport to have utterly void. my hope for that is low at the moment, but it's still got to be there. waiting to be found.

to those of you who have never been anything but kind, you are true treasures, the lights in the darkness, the loving and compassionate embodiment of human spirit. some of you have (quite literally) helped keep my mom and me alive, and i can never repay that or do enough in this life to quantify it. some of you have been here for me every single day, to listen and laugh and cry and understand. i don't think i would've bothered to fight through these past three years had i not had your presences in my life. i wouldn't have had as much of a reason. there are times when i still haven't felt like i had a reason, i struggle through so many varied griefs, but then i continued to wake up, and would come on here and find something joyful or beautiful or affirming that someone had sent or posted, and it gave me an anchor. there are passions and interests i shared or discovered here that were so uplifting and enlightening, and i will carry them in my heart always. being here to find those was such a blessing. being here with you to indulge in them was such a blessing. thank you. i pray your continued paths have more of that ahead. look at all the things you've done for me. there are certain things that once you have no time can wear away.

you know that line from the wizard of oz?: hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable. maybe that isn't true, maybe our hearts being broken is proof of something. there are people who hurt me on such a profound level who i know weren't affected by it at all, but i refuse to define my sensitivity as a negative. my softness (too soft for all of it, indeed) does not quite provide me with a weapon, but it doesn't crumple. hearts can be broken repeatedly and still beat, which i've thought about a lot lately. shattered souls just make a new mosaic. it's a different picture than it was before, but the color and light persists. and in the remains of that, a handful of people have shown me depths of caring and resilience that i wouldn't have gotten to hold onto otherwise, which is an extraordinary thing. the precious rarities have to mean something more, don't they? i would think so. i believe it. or i'm trying. i keep trying with all my might.

maybe i stayed too long at the fair. maybe this is a consequence of overplaying my hand, gambling a little too much with time to where it had to teach me something. maybe i needed the reminder that sometimes we have to fight to retain our spirits, and other times we have to retreat. maybe i needed a reminder that all that extra time was a miracle. i don't take it for granted.

whether we've spoken directly, be that consistently or in scattered flurries, whether we've interacted in very personal ways or simply in liked hearts on the dash, i hope there was goodness and light in it. i hope there's a memory i leave here that's sweet. (as long as i'm borrowing phrases, i hope you'll think of me fondly sometimes.) i hope there was something warm and enriching here. i hope you know what you've been and meant to me. i said so many times that this blog was my cozy haunted house - the ghosts will linger here forever, and i know they'll never mind if you want to step in and visit.

with all my heart, i love so many of you so dearly. i am so lucky to have your friendships. please move gently through life. please hold onto the things that illuminate it for you, and provide that where you can. please do your best to repair even the smallest of tears in the world. you are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

there must be lights burning brighter somewhere.

something yet remains. i remain. and i do my best to be brave.

[mogoce-nocoj]

München, 04.12.23

okay! now that I've actually managed to arrive home from Munich and had the day to calm down for a bit, I'm just gonna link xia's munich report here (because it includes most of the important bits) and add some of the stuff that I keep thinking about

Watching the Khäärijä OF videos during queueing was so funny because everyone was caught between feeling slightly embarrassed and really interested

I arrived later but apparently Kris and Jan (I think) walked through the wrong door and the queue had to show them where to go into the venue

the queue system worked perfectly and I can't thank all the people responsible for it enough for implementing it

I know people have been talking about how Nace has this energy when he's right in front of you and I get it now. I do. When he was close I had my own "oh." moment about him. like, wow.

Bojan was in such a good mood, joking around and telling stories and really looking like he was enjoying the concert and being close to the crowd

Bojan during plastika holding a pride flag “don't be plastic, be fantastic”

During queueing I jokingly suggested that I was gonna clap the rhythm to vem da greš which they did during the nordic tour but stopped doing afterwards; what I didn't consider was that I was so close to the stage that Bojan actually noticed me doing it and proceeded to give me the softest smile. I can't tell you what having his full attention does to a person because, phew. don't think I'll ever recover

When Bojan caught the bracelets people were admiring him for it and he very loftily said “so does anyone want to throw a baseball?” before being bombarded by other gifts. his face really changed from being suave to slight panic in only a few seconds, that was a really funny thing to experience (it wasn't a bad panicked face, no worries)

there were a bunch of Slovenian people in the crowd and Bojan really enjoyed bantering with them

I think someone said it already but I want to stress how funny it was that they only made it to Munich because the organiser booked their flight to Memmingen. like why would you do that. it did save them though

Okay, just a bit of bokris stuff (because they are always in my heart after all, even if they decide to bully me whenever I'm in the crowd)

yes kris didn't sing ngvot (that's my curse, apparently) but in contrast to wrocław there was an actual conversation going on where Kris told Bojan to sing it which was cute

Bojan caressed Kris's chest at some point and I'm so sad I didn't get that on video because it was really soft

I think after Vienna Bojan's convinced that “Zugabe” is a literal translation of “one more” because he kept repeating it so often lol

after the encore Bojan apparently took the wrong exit and had to bolt across the stage to the other door making everyone turn around in confusion

I know this report is very Bojan focused but he really just draws you in, in particular in the middle. like you just have to give him your attention and while I also enjoy being at the back, being at the front and having no choice but to be focused on him is also really an experience

(I can't thank xia enough for buying the jo sweater for me because for one second i forgot that I was in Germany and could only pay in cash and nearly had a breakdown thinking I couldn't get it. I'm living in that sweater now, btw.)

the crew were really trying to get us to leave after the show like repeating “what are you standing around here, the band is gone” and while I get it, it was very funny considering that we weren't actively waiting for them and just got caught up in conversation (and Bojan and Nace posting the Hojan shirt)

... this might've turned out longer than I expected, I think Turku will always be my favourite because it was my first Joker Out gig but this one is getting pretty pretty close. thanks to all the people I met and got to talk to and who made this gig such a wonderful experience ❤️

[gumpistol]

:: SEMI-HIATUS NOTICE ::

as some may have already seen when i said something about it a few days back, due to some other health concerns, i am being taken off of my adhd medication for at least the next 1-2 months until i can get other health issues at a better place. i have no idea the full scope of how this will affect me, as this will be the first time in about five years that i'm not on any sort of medication. i.e. i could be in for a WILD ride folks.

i am certain of one thing though, writing, especially long-form, is going to be so much harder, and as a result slower, and possibly even non-existent. i struggled keeping up with rp writing A LOT prior to getting placed on meds, to the point of nearly giving up on it because i genuinely thought i could not do it.

that being said, until the end of June, my activity is going to be very low, and things i reply to are going to be purely based on where the dopamine wants to go. i don't want to try and force any writing, i don't want to fall back into the mindset of writing being something i dislike. i LOVE writing Luffy, i love writing my other OP muses, and i love that i've been able to feel excited about writing again for the first time in a long time. i really don't want to lose that, but i also understand that my health is struggling right now and it needs to be prioritized.

i have no doubt that my moots here will be understanding and patient with me, it's just a matter of me being patient with myself. but regardless, i just ask for some extra patience as more typos potentially happen, if my grammar gets a bit muddled, and if my writing is generally shorter since i won't be able to focus on the same threads for more than 15 minutes or so at a time. or i just have a sleep attack at my desk and pass out mid-writing. it's gonna be high school biology all over again lol.

on that note, any replies i do have written up to now will get typed up and added to the queue to trickle out over however long. i will still be present on the dash and engaging in shenanigans as much as possible, and i will also still be available in DMs for chatting and plotting, but i can't definitively say how well i will do with responding when my brain is being a spazz. who knows, maybe i'll actually do better at it! aha, no promises 

[hunsa-jars]

man

Heyy things are pretty busy and exhausting right now, but I promise I'm trying to be brave about it

Might pop up here tomorrow

Or the day after tomorrow- this week sometime, or I'll go bonkers

Gonna queue this because I really shouldn't be distracting myself more than I already do nhdfdh

Haghhhh I miss you all, I'll be back

(uhh life update under the cut? to the folks who are curious, kinda wanted to mention these at some point anyways)

OI HI TO THE PEOPLE WHO STAYED HOW'S IT GOING

Remember that I said that my phone might be still alive after all? Well.. yeah, no, that was a false alarm, it really did kick the bucket. Temporarily using my sister's old phone until I get a new one this Christmas

And because I'm the way I am, I refuse to change anything about it- like I can't stand the idea of getting used/attached to it when I know in a couple of weeks I'm gonna give it back, so..

So yeah, I don't want to go through the procedures of logging into everything, including Tumblr

I've been avoiding going here anyway, so technically it helps :''')

My attention span is so awful you guys, so mad at myself 24/7 for always looking for excuses to not do my studying routine

Speaking of studying, this is the last week of uni for this year!

BUT exam period is starting next week and I have like 3 exams before Christmas, so fun

Uhhhh remember the board game I mentioned making? Teacher loved it and wants to display it for the university's open day. Pretty glad, worked hard on that thing (even tho it could have been better)

Gonna show you guys once I get it back

Uhhhh did my best with my recorder, my hands were shaking, but the teacher could tell I was only messing up because I was nervous as balls, and not because I didn't know the songs, thank god

My grandma is doing well! Well.. better. We keep her company. My cousins come to visit us twice a week now, so no silent Saturdays or Sundays

FINALLY figured out how to use emulators, so between studying for the January exams and relative visits, I'm gonna finally play Animal Crossing and Earthbound properly (I think I've mentioned using online emulators before, but those distorted the music so much I just couldn't continue with it)

Also was anybody going to tell me that OFF is free?

And Yume Nikki?? On Steam?????? Hello??

Umm also! My little brother sat down with me last Saturday and made me watch Murder Drones (he's hyperfixating and wanted to pass it onto me, spoilers: IT WORKED)

Oh my goodness... that show................................. Plan for another flooding

What else, uh- we're on season 2 of AOT, it's insane, it makes me insane, I wish I could say more without going unhinged

I... i think that's all

To the people who've been tagging me the past few days I SEE YOU ALL, THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF ME, I'LL GET TO IT

Well

See you guys later this week, hopefully, please take care

[spockandawe]

Hello,I absolutely adore your work! I have been binding books for a few years now (mostly scanlated manga that hasn't been licensed,and some pdf books that are too expensive for me to afford or too rare to buy). I came across your work a few months ago,and absolutely relish your posts. I was wondering if I could ask for some advice?

Do you print your books at home,or use a printing service? Because they're such massive amounts of pages if I want to do a full series...once I printed a 24 volume series and my printer reached its page limit,and I had to get it serviced to reset it😭(I know a code can be bought and used,if it happens again I intend to do that but I'd like to avoid if possible). If you use a service can you recommend any,or any general advice for finding one?

And if you print them at home, could you give some advice on how to print Quattro or snaller books? I just use Acrobat (older versions) to print in booklet setting to get a half page sized book,I would really appreciate some knowledge on how to go smaller (and save some paper)

It's okay if you would rather not answer though,or if you want to take a while,I completely understand if that's the case!

Oh my gosh, you can absolutely ask anything you want, this is my favorite hobby to enable people for! (I LOVE that you're doing this for scanlations, also! My manga hyperfixation is mostly dormant right now, but once my brain locked on to archival work for fan translations of cnovels, I immediately started anxiously circling this idea like a dog whining because it can't fit all the toys in its mouth at once, so I'm delighted to hear someone has this interest!)

I print my books at home. I've considered using a printing service for some special cases, like large paper my machine can't handle, but it was ultimately expensive enough, and my personal needs were off enough (I do high-volume, fast-turnaround work) that I've never actually followed through. I'm fortunate that a few years before I picked up this hobby, I got a color laser duplex printer (canon mf cdw644, iirc) as a gift, and it's filled all my needs beautifully, so I never had to look for another way to tackle the issue.

It is still very expensive to make as many books as I do, I've spent unconscionable amounts of money just on toner, but the math shakes out pretty clearly in my favor. Now, an issue that has occurred to me for more graphic prints would be that if a comic page has a lot of hard blacks, I'm not sure how much it would take before it was cost-effective to go elsewhere. I'm not sure if a point like that does exist, but it's a question I'd be interested in knowing an answer to!

(Laser printers tend to be more expensive up front, but cheaper to use in the long term. I do know one person who owns an ink TANK printer and sings its praises, but those can be harder to find for home usage)

One thing that I'm not sure would apply to your printer is that for big jobs, I *think* my computer and printer run out of memory and it messes up not just the current print job, but future ones I queue up after it, and switching the printer off only makes it worse. My pages start looping back to the beginning of the print job and starting over and the only fix is to reset my print spooler in my system services directory and ruthlessly cancel jobs until my print queue stays empty. I can get around that by printing smaller sets of pages at a time (1-50, then 51-100, etc), so something like that might also help coax your printer into cooperating!

And ahhhh, yes, small books! I'm a HUGE fan, I rarely print anything larger than quarto these days. I use a free tool developed by other fan binders, which I'll link right here

https://momijizukamori.github.io/bookbinder-js/

It has a lot of settings that I haven't explored in too much depth, but I use it to impose almost everything I make. There are layouts for the straightforward divide-in-half imposition (half-letter, quarto, octavo, etc), but towards the bottom there are wacky layouts, like six sheets per side of paper. There might be resources somewhere in renegadepublishing that go into more depth, but like I said, my experimentation has been relatively bland XD In general, I recommend double checking the files you get from it for whether you want to flip on the long or the short edge, but other than that, I've found the tool very intuitive and easy to use!

I hope that helps!!! I'm always delighted to help people out with any of this stuff :D

[tls123]

putting the feedback i sent to support here

Hello, I'll get right to it.

The new dashboard is not good. I know it's being sold to us as some great change to help "newbies" but surely clicking buttons isn't that hard. We've rolled with many different changes throughout the years, and I have personally loved MANY of them, but this one is so hostile that I simply cannot wrap my head around it.

Drafts and the queue were a single click away before, now they are hidden and nestled away like they are not one of the more fun draws to using this site. (I think this has also happened to custom blogs, actually, since site-wide it seems clicking on someone's icon or URL always prioritizes the dash-view blog where it once brought you to their blog page, if enabled). The activity tab opens a window when, again, it used to be a simple click away on the 'account' tab.

I cannot believe that this is to make things easier for new users.

It seems to me (and I believe many others) that what is really happening here is the staff trying to make the site look like the mobile app as much as possible, which simply doesn't work. All it does is make everything look/feel crowded and counterintuitive. If those who like desktop Tumblr wanted to use the app, we would simply use the app. There are perks to both, and I love having Tumblr in my pocket, but it's because both site and app used to play to their strengths. The crowding makes sense on the app given the limited screen space, just like the old site layout, wide and open, made more sense for a desktop view.

I simply don't understand what's happening here. You ask for feedback, reassure us it'll be taken into consideration, but then ignore and steamroll right over it anyway. Be it feedback through Support or messages to your wip blog. It makes even less sense than if you simply didn't ask for our opinion.

Like when we pointed out that making it nearly impossible to move back up a reblog chain user by user took away one of the most charming ways to interact with the community/each other.

I'm not sure how to explain just how disheartening these past few changes have been and cannot stress enough that smoothing down everything that made Tumblr a shining beacon in the frankly depressing landscape of social media sites /will/ chase away the old guard. People will get tired of it. Not because we don't know how to adapt to change, but because these specific changes have only served to strip away the parts of Tumblr that we loved and made it stand above the rest.

I realize the priority seems to be on new users, whether they're here already or coming soon or whatever, and no one is against that, we tend to welcome people with open arms. But surely something can be said about loyalty? And it sounds silly, I know, I feel silly writing it but what other word can I use? I've been here more than ten years now, a lot of other people I know just as long. And we love Tumblr, we really do. We wouldn't have stayed as much as we have otherwise. Why doesn't our word count as much as a new user's? Not more than, just as much as.

Thank you for your time and apologies for any typos, Francesca

[dreamingdarklyblog]

the good kind of 'triggered' :-)

How long do triggers usually last (when they're new)? Are you aware of any you're allowed to use on your own, either for fun, or to remain focused and productive?

Last like, how long till the effects fade after given? Or how long will the trigger "work" for before it's just another word/action?

I'll try to answer the first one first.

It really varies with the trigger. To cite specific examples, we've been playing with a few things, most of which are momentary or short lived. A few are meant to endure longer.

When I try to put it into some kind of consistent framework, I think of it like a mental load. Or to be more metaphorical, like adding weight to a backpack. I can carry a light pack for a pretty long time. Heavier loads get tiring quickly. So it really varies? Things don't exist in a vacuum, and there's a lot of moving parts (At least I think there are. In my experience. Others might have a very different experience)

Some things are pretty light. Some things weigh a lot more. The more complicated they are, the more senses are involved, the more work it takes for my mind to maintain them, ignore contradictions, supply stimulus, the heavier they are, the more tiring they are.

To give a practical, recent example...

Okay so something really weird just happened. And I was going to omit it, or write around it, but I figure no, I should leave it in because it might be the sort of thing people find interesting. So I started to write "To give a practical, recent example, my writing partner has mentioned how he's been growing my tits" and then I sort of froze... Why did I write that? No he hasn't... Wait has he? And I went back and looked and I couldn't find anything. So then why did I write that? I was clearly sure about it. But I can't think of any reason WHY I'm sure about it. So I figure one of two things has happened. One is I'm just making shit up now and not even realizing I'm doing it. And the other is that he DID say something about it, somewhere, and I just can't find it. >_<. Grrr. Anyway. I'm going to just move past it.

*ahem* recent example, my writing partner has been playing around with making me experience having larger breasts. Which, as you might imagine, I'm a big fan of. We've had trouble getting them to "Stick" as it were though.

Basically as long as I stay focused on what we're doing (Or you know, what I'm doing. With them.) they seem to stick around. But as soon as I get too distracted, they are just gone. I don't notice them "leaving" it's more like, "Oooo jiggle jiggle, oh hey I'll do a bit of writing, take out the trash, oh damn, when did I go back to being flat?" and notice that at some point in the last ten minutes, my mind stopped maintaining that illusion.

I figure this is actually a pretty hard one for me to maintain. There's sensations involved, weight shifting, balance, the actual visual of course... Then there's contradictions to ignore, like how I shouldn't be able to sit with a laptop like I am, or sit at the table like I am, or various things. It's a Lot.

Other things seems to last much longer. Simpler things like ideas. A memory, or ignoring a visual queue. Those sorts of things are more momentary. I figure my mind only needs to maintain them for moments here and there, and I'm reminded to do so when they come up.

Other things like say, a trigger to be more aroused *coughs* , is also rather momentary. Sure it persists, but it's sort of self maintaining at a certain point. So there's barely any "work" being done. The processor isn't working very hard, to put it in computing terms.

That said we haven't played with many suggestions that are meant to last, other than the boobs. ... That I can remember =/. From past experiences though, this holds relatively true. Simple things last longer, more complex things break down faster. Like a house of cards. A huge complex castle is very delicate. While a little hut is a bit sturdier.

If you mean how long does a trigger last in the way that the trigger has an impact, but at some point it goes back to just being a word? That is also highly variable. But in this case it's more with reinforcement and repetition.

Though the way I think of it, this is also something like the idea of a mental load. Like each thing I need to remember, even if I'm not really Aware that i need to remember it, is tiring. The more things I need to remember, the more tired I get. It's really exhausting to try to stack on a bunch of things at once. We actually had one of our attempts go fairly poorly because of just that. I ended up having to stop and take a nap because I just, couldn't really process anything anymore.

Buuut, much like once you memorize a phone number or bit of trivia it become automatic, I find that once a trigger, or suggestion has been used repeatedly, and reinforced repeatedly, that it gets... Lighter. At some point maintaining it seems to become automatic. (In fact I have some... Older things that are a struggle to get to Go away! Rather than maintaining them being heavy, they're embedded so deeply that Removing them, or more accurately, suppressing them, becomes work. At this point it becomes more like what I'd think of as conditioning rather than a suggestion.)

So, at the shorter end? Minutes, hours, maybe a day or two. At the longer end... Weeks, Months.. Or if I were to try to pick out a date, I think one is still going and it's been about... Oh five years?

Am I aware of any I'm "Allowed" to use myself...

That question annoys me. But I will ignore that.

Yes and No. I'm not aware of any that I can "Trigger". But there's one or two I could make use of if I wanted to. Buuuut I don't really want to. One of them being the one I mentioned not being able to get rid of.

[griefabyss69]

About & Fanworks List

Hello,

This is a sideblog of @griefabyss, I figured I could put fandom related things here because I don't put original posts on my main blog, and don't want to limit posting to just ao3. I'm happy to make friends on here!

Please note that 99% of my reblogs are from my queue and I don't tag about it, so if I seem active but I'm not replying to a message that'd be why!

I have a tip jar! - Tumblr post - Ko-Fi (Currently trying to save up for dental work)

GriefAbyss on ao3

My writing tag

My art tag

Fic & Fanart list need to be reworked and haven't been updated since November 2023, please find new works through the writing and art tags! Thank you <3 I'll get this done at some point :' )

Fanart

» LARP AU - Mature - Steve x Eddie

This is a sketch I did while writing Last Man Standing!

» Demon Steve - Mature - Steve

This is a commission from a friend of her Steve from her fanfic the only time i feel human is when i'm in bed with you!

» Sweet Rose - Mature - Eddie

This is a painting of Eddie in shibari! Uncropped version under the cut, full nsfw.

» Sketch Request 01 - Gagged Eddie - Mature - Eddie

A sketch request for Eddie with a gag in, the messier the better <3

» Sketch Request 02 - Scoops Uniform Debauchery - Mature - Steve

A sketch request for Steve, undressed with a ripped shirt in his work uniform

Censored due to guidelines fuckery Uncensored here on ao3!

Fanfiction

» Post-Apocalypse AU

01 - Hell Patrol - 12k - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3]

Post-apocalypse setting shortly after S4, mostly PWP. Steve is having trouble getting off and one day after he confesses this to Eddie, he helps. Featuring first time blow jobs, a heatwave, and the beginnings of a power exchange.

02 - Night Comes Down - 23k - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3]

The sequel to Hell Patrol, where Eddie and Steve negotiate and play with things like the power of imagination, multiple orgasms, and bondage.

» Between Light and Darkness - 5k - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3]

Vampire Eddie, shortly after S4. Steve wants Eddie to have a safe sources of blood, Eddie doesn't want to hurt him. Arguing leads to Eddie blowing Steve and a fun discovery about Eddie's vampire lore.

» Offer Your Light - 4.6K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

[ A continuation of fiordicielo's series a metalhead and a pink boy! ]

Steve and Eddie meet again… and find their way back under the stage to have more fun together! Will Eddie's kilt survive? Contains: Semi-public sex at a music festival, falling (further) in love, heart shaped nipple piercings, a jock strap, a kilt, and a whole lot of heavy metal!

» Ready To Go - 3K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

[ A continuation of fiordicielo's series But what does it mean? ]

Eddie sees his bandanna in Steve's right pocket and it kicks off the first time they explore what Steve's been curious about. Contains: Experimenting, light bondage, some pain, nipple clamps, getting together, safe sex, Steve begging for more, Eddie's nervous excitement, and biting!

» Run Me Through - 9.5K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

Enemies with benefits, sexy wrestling, getting together, emotional tension, competitiveness

Eddie and Steve have an arrangement - every Wednesday they meet up and have fantastic sex, even if they barely even talk to each other. It blows off steam and is easier than trying to find someone else local, but there's a few issues with it. Steve is playing coy with letting Eddie know whether he wants something or not, makes him wrestle him to earn it instead of just saying yes or not, and Eddie can't squeak out a win even once, no matter how hard he tries. And Eddie can't find out what's causing Steve's distance and the distractions he pulls out, or it'll ruin the whole thing they have going on.

» Constrained - 10K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

Written for the @steddievember challenge, I loosely followed some of the prompts: Teasing, Hand cuffs / Cock rings, and Oral sex without orgasm, and technically Ice play to kill the boner

Eddie's month has been... frustrating. He thinks he might be losing his mind, or maybe something inside of him has broken, but he's been unable to cum this month. He meets Steve after he graduated, this time properly, and he offers up a solution to Eddie's desperate problem. Will Steve solve it, though? Does he put Eddie through the most intense experience of his life, resulting in the ultimate relief? Or does he keep him on the edge, the hook of Steve's beautiful mouth making him continue to reach for a completion he's not going to get?

» LARP AU

01 - Last Man Standing - 15.6K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

Steve asks Eddie to teach him how to play D&D. Eddie has no idea what's in store for him as Steve throws him for a loop, making the game into something that changes Eddie on a molecular level, if his dick is to believed.

02 - Interlude - 6K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

Sequel to Last Man Standing - (This one doesn't have roleplaying but the next one does, which is why I titled it this. Technically a song title but from many different artists.) Eddie finally instigates some more fun after Steve surprises him after a show, and Steve has fun pushing at Eddie's limits again, this time in his car.

03 - Stargasm - 11K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie [AO3] [Tumblr]

After they recover from their interesting night in Steve’s car, Eddie and Steve get up to some more LARPing, this time with Steve as the Demon King who bests Sir Eddie the Banished Knight. Eddie’s still not sure where they stand in their relationship, but it feels good to be with him, and the time they spend after the hot sex is really nice.

04 - so take a bite of me, just once - 10.3K - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie [AO3] [Tumblr]

Odaxelagnia is a kink where individuals experience sexual arousal from biting or being bitten. - Eddie's revenge feels less like striking back and more like reverence, but he's satisfied with the mark he's left on Steve anyway. This is also part 04 of the paraphilia series <3

» Paraphilia Series

01 - Still Motion - Scoptophilia - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

Scoptophilia describes the sexual pleasure that a person derives from looking at prurient objects of eroticism, such as pornography, the nude body, and fetishes. - Steve poses nude for Eddie so he can do figure sketching from his bed, as Eddie starts to look like he’s getting too warm. Of course, it’s not the temperature that’s getting to him.

02 - Acceptance and Negation - Forniphilia - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

Forniphilia is a type of BDSM practice where one partner is turned into a piece of furniture or object for the other partner’s use. This can involve anything from being used as a chair or table, to being transformed into a coat rack or lamp. - Steve loses a bet against Eddie, who gets to order him around all night. It wasn't intended to be a sex thing until Steve discovered something new about himself.

03 - Waves - Forniphilia - Rated: E - Steve x Eddie

[AO3] [Tumblr]

Saliromania is a fetish that involves pleasure from soiling or disheveling the object of one’s desire, usually an attractive person. It can also involve sexual arousal or satisfaction of soiling or damaging a partner’s clothing. Some individuals may also enjoy the act of being soiled or disheveled themselves. -- Steve watches Eddie a lot, finds that Eddie's always got his mouth busy. It's distracting and he's becoming a little bit obsessed with it - to the point where he snaps one day and climbs into Eddie's lap to have his turn with it.

» Steddie Microfic Masterlist This is all of the links to my steddiemicrofic challenges all in one place!

» Fanwork Request Masterlist

All of the links to my writing & art requests!

[crest-of-gautier]

EVP 999 reached on bone rattle arena! this makes my third gold map badge (my other two are jammin salmon junction + gone fission hydroplant!). i'm really happy to have been able to get this badge, it took 50 jobs starting from EVP 300 to get here.

the short of my thoughts is that it's important to take lots of breaks! but i have some other things related to salmon run and my journey with it in the past year that i want to share, so i'll put that under the cut 👍

i've only really grinded salmon run "seriously" since march 2023, and i only really attempt pushes on map rotations that i find favorable (it's important to have fun and having weapons you like help a lot!). and trying to get these map badges is a lot like a marathon, meaning that it's important to pace yourself appropriately.

i could go on about salmon mechanics that are important to learn. but salmon run at it's core ultimately tests your ability to quickly assess situations and make judgment calls. and the most important judgment call, to me is knowing when you need to step away from the grind because you've hit a skill wall.

the challenges i've faced with SR have changed over time as i've accumulated more experience with the mode. but generally speaking, i find that hitting a wall is characterized by repeatedly reaching a certain hazard level/wave, but not being able to completely clear it. i know i certainly found it annoying to reach wave 3 but not meet the quota.

when i started doing these pushes in 2023, i used to throw myself back into the queue because "we were just 1-2 eggs off! we'll get them next time!" and uh. here's the general gist of how that went:

(we failed again)

(i get increasingly irritated)

(my performance starts dropping from irritation)

(i get irritated that my points are dropping because there's only so many hours in a rotation)

("i need to keep playing otherwise i'll be stuck with the not as experienced players!!!")

(the cycle continues and i get a net loss of points)

fortunately, i don't do this anymore because it's largely unhelpful. it took awhile for me to get over the idea that throwing myself into another shift would get me back my points but. i did eventually!

these days i find that it's much more effective (and healing!) to take a 15-20 minute break (and sometimes an hour or longer!) whenever i notice signs of agitation or tension... any shifts that i do afterwards are MUCH easier.

the other reason why i think breaks are so important is because time away from the game helps you ask yourself better questions on what went wrong.

generally speaking if you can pinpoint why your shifts go to shit (thank you video footage and clips), you should be able to figure out a solution for that. and isn't that what learning is about?

i think a lot about how many shifts it took for me to get from EVP 300 -> EVP 999 on gone fission (124 of them). and when i think of that experience, i'm grateful that i learned the power of breaks since it took like half the jobs for me to get to 9's on bone rattle 💪

i definitely think that it's important to remember that getting through shifts will gets easier as you accumulate more experience. this is easier said than done but i think that if you can find ways to take note of your improvement, no matter how small, it will be easier to stay motivated!

i find this most noticeable with eggstra work... while i've only scored within the top 20% and never top 5%... i have gotten closer to the scores of the top 5% (i <3 marooners bay + jammin salmon junction eggswork) than i did at the start!

scoring aside, i cringe a lot at my spawning grounds eggstra work video, these have to be some of the most abysmal gameplay decisions ever and i'm happy to say that i wouldn't make that these days 💀! so if you've ever cringed at your old gameplay do not fret... it is natural and it's a sign of improvement!

anyway that's my lizz talk. while this is about salmon run i technically think this can expand to other pursuits in life. like creative hobbies. and sports! or maybe something else i didn't think of. learning is so wonderful and cool!

as a bonus, here's a notebook spread i made about golden rotation when i needed a break from the game... (did you know i really like my notebook... it's so fun)

[twothpaste]

1, 11, 27, 48 for the fanfic meme?

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike? Aw I'm bigly a daydreamer. My ideas usually spend a lottttt of time marinating in my head, and in my outline docs, before I get around to writing them. Whenever I get an idea there's always like 3 things ahead of it in my "shit to write" queue, so it simmers on the back burner for months or longer. Which is nice actually, cuz I like to make sure it's really a concept I can commit to before starting… If it can stand the test of time (I'm still daydreaming about it months later, I came up with more scenes/details in the meantime, it developed a Meaning or a Theme, etc) then I know it's a keeper.

2. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around? All in order, start to finish. Knowing how my brain works, I'm deathly afraid that if I designate some scenes as more appealing to write than others, and write those first? I'll never ever feel like going back to write the ones I decided were boring / difficult / underdeveloped in comparison 🫠. So I try to just approach every scene indiscriminately like "ok, how am I gonna make this one fun to write & compelling to read?" Makes it more straightforward for my anxious little head. (And fun too?? Genuinely I almost never find myself dreading a scene, or stuck on a scene I don't wanna write.) I'll constantly stop to hash out the narrative significance / foreshadowing / etc in my notes as I go, I'm jumpin' all over the place as I outline, but the work itself is a straight shot.

3. What area of writing do you feel strongest in? Characterrrrs, maybeee??? Specifically like, their relationships & interactions. I feel a special kinda magic when I get 2 characters bouncing off each other, complimenting or contrasting, highlighting traits & beliefs you might not've uncovered otherwise. And I feel like I can pull it off with almost any combination of characters, if I cram 'em in a room together. Folks tell me I'm good at characterization (thank y'all 😭!!!) - but I feel like it's more than just personality bullet points in an isolated void - strong characterization really comes from those chemical reactions that take place when blorpy interacts & orients themself against others. That's the shit I could think about & write about all day, at least, and hopefully I think maybe I manage it pretty well.

4. Who is your favorite character to write for? Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom? It Is Probably Claus, And I Am Being So Fucking Brave About It. It's funny too, cuz when I started writing Mother stuff I was like "no claus lives AUs for me haha no sir." (🙃) In 2021 my fav character to write was probably Lucas, and he's still in like 1.000001st place, and still my fav character ever, so it's fine, like. It's ok. It's fine.

[ ask meme here ]

[observeowl]

Right By Your Side | Chapter 2 - I'll See You Later

Summary: In the world where wearing glasses makes you a different person. You were forced to swallow a pill that turned you into seven years old. Now, you're living with your crush in a small form, what would you do? Who were the ones who brought this to you? And, can you change back?

Chapter summary: Separating from Natasha to investigate a suspicious activity, you found yourself in a precarious situation

Series Masterlist

I was slightly scared about the roller coaster, but nothing I couldn't take, it's just like jumping off a building right? The intense beating of my heart was increasing as the roller coaster slowly crept its way to the peak before dropping us down.

I looked at Nat as I felt her hands on mine. My mind momentarily forgets that we were on a roller coaster but the next moment the roller coaster dived and I squeezed her hands by reflex.

"I would think you are okay with roller coasters when you're the one who brought me here." Natasha said as she helped me out of the seat.

"I am! I'm fine! I just lost some strength." I said as I tripped on my own foot, disproving my point there.

"Right... some strength." Nat reached out her hand and I took it, pulling me up to my feet. I dusted myself off before finding another ride to join the queue.

I didn't buy the fast pass because I wanted to spend time talking with her. There isn't always a chance to be speaking to her without any distraction, excuses that she has work to do, mission or other agent needing her help. She's just too popular, everyone wants a piece of her.

We continued on for a couple more rides until it was dark. It was just unfortunate that the first ride we took knocked it out of me because I was fine the rest of the day.

"We should probably head out, the theme park is closing." Natasha suggested after getting out from the last ride.

"Yeah okay, I'm starving." The sun had already gone down and there were only a handful of people walking around or headed towards the exit. I pressed my lips together trying to suppress a smile on my face. I had actually managed to spend time with Nat without any disturbance.

"Should we head back to the compound first?" Nat asked as she took out the keys to her car. However, I was looking at something else that caught my attention. "Hey Y/N, what are you looking at?" She looked at the direction I was facing but found nothing.

"Huh? Nothing much. Why don't you head back to the compound first? I'll see you later!" I ran off without giving her a chance to stop me. Well, she was on the other side of her car.

"Hey! How are you going to get back?" I heard her shout.

"Don't worry, I can manage!" I replied. Waving my hand at Nat and  running across the road.

What I saw was someone dragging a man into an alley. I couldn't tell if they were friends or in trouble. It could be big, it could be small but I didn't want to make a fool out of myself when it turns out to be nothing.

My hands went to my back where my gun would be placed, except it wasn't there. I remembered taking it before coming because we were supposed to be spending a relaxing time and they wouldn't allow loose items on rides.

"Shit." I mumbled under my breath. I should have taken a gun from Nat's car.

I crept quietly, making sure not to step on pieces of glass and rubbish on the floor. I tried to find traces of the duo, which wasn't hard as it was the only sound coming from the alley. I rounded the corner to see a tall long silver hair man pulling out a gun from his jacket and pulling the trigger on the defenseless man. Blood splattered out and before I could react, I was knocked out from the back of my head.

My eyes threatened to close as I laid on the floor. I didn't see his partner sneaking up behind me.

"Gin, what are we supposed to do? She saw us!" The guy was slightly shorter than the silver haired man said.

"Vodka, relax. The organisation just gave us a new drug, this is the perfect time to test them." He calmly took out a silver container from his pocket to reveal a red and white pill. "This is supposed to kill him and the autopsy result won't show anything."

He turned me around so I was facing him. I tried to resist but my limbs have no strength. I could only watch as they placed the pill in my mouth before pouring water and closing my mouth shut, forcing me to swallow the pill.

"Let's go, they should be found in the morning." Gin ordered Vodka to get away.

Second POV Natasha had been waiting in the compound for hours but you were still not back. While having dinner with the team, her mind was elsewhere. It was not like you  to not report where you were if you were running late. She was getting more worried as the time passed, no longer having the appetite to eat as she pushed the food around.

"I'm sure she's okay Nat." Steve spoke up, not liking to see his friend feeling down.

"I can't sit here and do nothing. I'm going to find her." Nat stood up and took her jacket before running off.

While driving, she tried to call your phone but you weren't answering. The first place she went was where you left her. She went in the direction she saw you running, going into the alley, making left and right turns before stumbling upon the dead body.

Immediately she rushed towards the corpse and saw the state of it, a bullet hole straight through the middle of the head. Initially, Nat thought it was because you killed a man so you went into hiding, but she clearly remembered seeing you keep your gun in your room.

She called the cops anonymously before going back to find clues about you again. She was almost certain the crime scene was what caused you to disappear. She searched high and low in the vicinity for any clues before the police arrived but she was unable to find anything other than your phone on the ground. She decided to take it with her because she didn't want you to be one of the suspects. But without your phone it would be harder to track you.

Feeling like she hit a dead end, she tried to find your friend. No one else knows about him other than Natasha. Just like how only you knew about Natasha's sister, Yelena.

She went back to her car and made her way to your friend's house. You didn't have many friends because you were busy with your work and it's hard to decipher one's intention of making friends when you're Avenger. You never know if they were taking advantage of you or planning to hurt you.

He however, has been by your side for as long as you can remember. He was your father's friend.

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