#I'll bootstrap this ship

[theinvisiblequestion]

Relationships: Kaz Brekker/Tolya Yul-Bataar

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Tolya Yul-Bataar

Kaz Brekker didn't trust men who smiled too much, or Grisha, or Heartrenders. Especially not Heartrenders.

never accuse me of being normal about anything tyvm

[tf2heritageposts]

i'll make a proper full post for this but basically

we're gonna be going to community college soon, and we quit our job at applebees as a host because i realized our knees were starting to get absurdly fucked up, and we were already heavily disabled and if we continued to fuck up our knees we would not be able to work anymore entirely forever so yeah

we were gonna need assitance anyways because we were doing part time min wage, and i'm already looking for a new job and got some good ideas on where to look but while we do that and go to school again, gonna need rent/food/uber help

very very very soon we wont be needing to make so many donation posts and may be able to stop making them entirely which is my goal because i really hate relying on kindness not just because it's not relilable, but because it's a major blow to our ego and we were raised in a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" household which is absurdly unrealistic but you know how it is man

rent is 1300 as always, plus food(we got groceries today thouugh :3) and we're still trying to get a bedframe for about 125 plus shipping and whatnot, and rent is due on the first(17 days from now). we also need to get our phone's screen repaired bceause it has gotten dangerously cracked and i do not want it to break on us when we need it for so much. also i refuse to upgrade to a different model

once again within the next few months we should be able to cut off these donation posts entirely and focus on just our normal bullshit and yeah

0/1300

ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/tf2heritageposts (our podcast is on here for 1/month and has two episodes so far, plus our commissons)

cashapp: $theteufortdozen

venmo: @theteufortdozen2

paypal: https://www.paypal.me/blucheavy3

if you use any other payment method not listed here, dm us

[chaifootsteps]

hey chai, long post incoming--i'm slowly chipping away at a draft of a vivzie drama masterpost i'll be phrasing as "why are people mad at vivziepop" for new-comers. i'll be including screenshots where i can and small summaries for things. that said, this is my rough list, have i missed anything that you can think of, or any specifics you think outta be mentioned?

VivziePop General Issues - Some from the Past that still happen in the Present

Inability to Handle Criticism / Confrontation

Transphobia

Misogynistic Tendencies

Issues with Improper Crediting / "Stealing" Ideas

Liking Tweets of Fans and Otherwise Who Agree with Her / Praise Her / Defend Her

Most of both her series’ “charm” is thanks to people other than her

Despite having two "LGBT+ friendly" series she primarily focuses on gay men and hasn't been the most LGBT+ friendly in other areas (acephobia, transphobia, lack of rep for queer women/wlw, thinks polyamory is just an excuse to cheat)

Conflicts between Vivzie putting forth an image of a struggling small-time creator who pulled herself up by the bootstraps and made it VS. circumstantial evidence that she is very well off financially and always has been; had her schooling paid for, spent a summer in Paris, takes expensive trips, makes expensive purchases, and lives in a million dollar house with multiple bedrooms and a pool

Testimonies of Ex-Employees and Friends

Erin Frost

KenDraws

Salem

VivziePop “Canon Events” of the Past and Present (20??-Present)

The Snake Tub & Creepy Fanart

Blaire White Fanart

Nazi Sausage Party Fan-Characters from blog “i-hate-jewce”

Starvader Drama

DollCreep / JayJay/Jiji Drama

Viv guilt-tripped a Patron for trying to get at least a partial refund for a financial emergency--many feel that while Viv was in the right for not wanting to refund the Patron, she handled it extremely poorly

Viv's 2018 "Apology"

Support of Angel Dust x Valentino as a “r*pe ships”

Her sister apologized on her behalf to someone she cyber bullied and her sister cited Viv as “having a problem” cyberbullying people. [Kedi's consequent reaching out to the sister having heard she was being a mediator for said person resulted in Viv saying Kedi was stalking her family.]

Viv kicking the original Hazbin Hotel pilot cast after saying she’d fight to keep them onboard [Michael has stated it was not a union issue and explained how he was even willing to shoulder the cost of having him on the show but was still let go.]

Viv saying redesigns are "disrespectful"

VivziePop Opinions of Other Artists

“I could destroy her” and everything else shitty she said about Kyra -- Kyra’s "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" comic & tweets People Suspect Are About Vivzie

Calling Tracy Annoying

Ashley (Creator of Far-Fetched)

- Viv wasn’t happy with Hunicast’s popularity (mainly run by Ashley) and was mad people were mistaking Ashley for the creator of Hazbin Hotel despite Ashley always making sure to correct people. - Viv learned something personal about Ashley that she used to make fun of her behind her back. - Allegedly one of the reasons Viv kicked most the original VA cast of Hazbin Hotel were due to them associating with Ashley. - Allegedly didn’t like that Ashley was leaving to work on her own indie pilot (Far-Fetched)

Bullying KediKatzen for having a similar art style, accusing Kedi of stalking her and her family, cyberbullying Kedi

SpindleHorse Related (VivziePop’s Animation Studio)

Rushed, Disorganized, Unprofessional Productions

Favoritism by Viv

“Cliquey” Behavior from Executives

Tight Deadlines

Underpaying

Working on other projects / working multiple jobs was generally frowned upon and discouraged.

In at least two instances Viv actually went out of her way to try and keep people from being hired elsewhere. - In one she told Ashley that Erin was "mentally unstable" - In another she told Nico Colaleo (Ollie & Scoops) not to hire “her artists” aka people working on her project(s).

VivziePop Criticisms Specific to Her Writing

Being Known to Skip Development to “Get to the Good Stuff”

Revealing / Confirming Story and World Lore via Liking Tweets, Making Tweets, or Behind a Patreon Paywall, instead of writing them into the series itself

Adding New Ideas Just Because She Likes Them, with Little Regard for how they Affect the Story

Rushing Characters’ Development and/or Retconning Characters to fit New Plots / Ideas

Apparent Lack of Research, Or At Least Poor Execution, of Her Ideas, Resulting in “Wasted Potential”

Concern over Mis-Management of “Morally Gray” and “Abusive” Character / Relationship Dynamics

Concern over apparent increasing themes of Inc*st in Helluva Boss

VivziePop Criticisms Specific to Her Art / Character Design

Over-Detailed Character Designs

Confusing Character Designs

Character Designs with Too Many Colors

Art style / designs that are “not animation friendly” --As well as her personal quality of art deteriorating over time

Animation is jittery, moving too much, or moving too fast

What Happened with Lackadaisy

VivziePop allegedly wanted to be on the Lackadaisy production in the past, but didn’t get hired

VivziePop has called Lackadaisy Creator Tracy “annoying” for “being active” in an animation channel on Discord

VivziePop tweeted a screenshot of a $5,000 Pledge to Lackadaisy’s backer-kit [which would’ve given Spindlehorse an Associate Producer’s credit on the future Lackadaisy productions]

Lackadaisy Crew Member ZeBirdBrain passive-aggresively replied that “since Medrano couldn’t be bothered to share the donation link, here it is!” And that money amount didn’t matter, every little bit counts.

It was revealed by SH Animator Mel in reply to ZeBirdBrain that the donation came from multiple team-members at SH (VivziePop did not mention this in her donation tweet.)

ZeBirdBrain deleted her original tweet.

ZeBirdBrain was harassed by VivziePop fans to be fired

Fans found tweets in ZeBirdBrain’s likes that appeared to be transphobic

One of ZeBirdBrain’s friends, a trans man, spoke up in defense of Ze, that Ze had known them since before their transition in 2013 and had been nothing but supportive.

Lackadaisy Co-Creator Fable, a trans masc, chimed in that they were made aware of the tweets, they looked into the matter, and were satisfied with the explanations they were given and hoped that would be enough for everyone.

[Fighting continued between fans and Lackadaisy crew members but the general consensus from the Lackadaisy crew seemed to be that they knew Ze to be a supportive ally, the liked tweets were a debated subject even in trans circles w/trans folk on both sides of the argument, Ze uses/used her likes as bookmarks rather than using the bookmark feature, and the reason Ze wasn’t saying all this herself was out of fear the rabid fandom wouldn’t take her word for it and would instead slander her further.]

Later, Lackadaisy’s Backer-Kit campaign ended, at which point Backer-Kit begins processing all the payments.

VivziePop posts a screenshot that “Spindlehorse’s” donation was denied.

Tracy replied to Viv’s tweet professionally, saying they had explained to SH the reason for the denial in private.

Viv’s fanbase became increasingly volatile towards this, claiming Tracy was “unprofessional” and “just should’ve accepted the money” and everyone should “boycott Lackadaisy”

Tracy, on one of her servers, not only elaborated more on the Ze incident (repeating much of what had already been said), but also revealed they had actually reached out to Spindlehorse in private, well before the campaign ended, and requested that they withdraw their donation. Spindlehorse refused.

i think that's about it--and obv where screenshots are available they will be linked in the full post i eventually make.

This looks amazing to me, and also you're doing god's work; something like this was insanely needed.

[savvythepirate]

My heart is yours

Pairing: Davy Jones x reader

Warnings: None

Requested by: @royisrandom

The Request:

Hey it's been a while since I requested something and I hope you're feeling better :). Could I request a platonic comfort Davy Jones x reader where the reader is being comforted by Davy Jones. I'll leave it up to you for the details. No rush! :)

***

Despite Davy Jones being heartless and cruel, he had some sort of a soft spot for you and for you only.

Davy didn’t show it though, as he wanted to keep his reputation at stake of being the cruel, heartless creature to ever walk the grounds, or sail the seas. How you ended up on the Dutchman was quite a story, insane would be how others describe it once they hear it, after hearing you telling them that you are the only loving person having to end up onboard.

You had gone with Will Turner to help retrieve the key to the chest that contained the heart of Davy Jones. It all started with a game of Liar’s Dice and just like any fool would do, Will made the move to challenge a round with Davy Jones. Just like Bootstrap Bill, you instantly protested against it, but there was no way of having him reconsider what the hell it was that Will Turner had in mind.

“I challenge Davy Jones.” Will said, you and Bootstrap Bill quickly turn to face him.

“You idiot! Now why-“ You were interrupted by a thud coming from above your heads.

That causing you and everyone to look above and around themselves as Will Turner whispered in your ear the reasoning for his part in the game.

Davy Jones appears.

“I accept. The stakes?”

“My soul. An eternity of servitude.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as he says this, than you slightly nudge him.

“Will, come on! Don’t be stupid!” You say, as Bootstrap hisses out a single word.

“No!”

But the game continues and you could do nothing but watch it as it was happening.

“Against?”

“I want this.”

Will Turner than shows Davy the picture Jack gave him of the key to the chest which again, contained Davy Jones heart.

You watch Davy’s face contorted to limited annoyance before he asked about knowing of the key. As he does so, you could feel the anxiety prick at your heart as you waited Will to give details.

“How do you know of the key?”

“That’s not part of the game is it? You can still walk away.”

Davy slowly sat down opposite of Will Turner, which showed he accepts Will’s challenge. You watch and stare as Davy pulled out the key from under his tentacles for everyone to see before putting it back under.

While the game was about ready to begin, you could see Bootstrap Bill urging to wheeze himself into the game, but you put a stop to it by suddenly beginning to join the game yourself. It wasn’t hard to tell that seemed to make Davy’s anger grow as he barks at you about it.

“What’s this?!”

“I’m in with a matching wager. I bid three twos. It’s your bid… captain.”

“Four fours.”

Laughter could be heard from the crew surrounding outside the game.

“Four fives.”

“Six threes.”

“Seven fives.”

“Eight fives.”

Davy chuckles as he said the dreaded words.

“Welcome to the crew, lad.”

“Twelve fives.” You had said too hurriedly before foolishly continuing.

“Call me a liar up the bid.”

“And be called a liar myself for any trouble?”

Davy looked at your fives before slamming down the cup saying

“Miss. (L/n) you are a liar and you will spend an eternity on this ship. Master Turner, feel free to go ashore… the very next time we make port.”

The crew began cackling with laughter as nothing is said to Bootstrap Bill.

***

Later on in the evening, Will returns and had the key around his neck as you continue to help him escape.

During the escape plan, Will was just as confused as anyone would be when after you announced to him you’d be staying behind. He didn’t understand why, and quite frankly, neither did you. Something was holding you back and you didn’t know what, and maybe you did but didn’t want to admit it. But it was in your heart that helped you to see the light in the truth that you were staying behind for Davy Jones.

“Are you sure, (Y/n)?” Will asks.

“Yes. Positive.”

“There’s no way I can get you to change your mind?”

“Nope.”

Just as Will was to go on, Bootstrap Bill shows up, handing something over to Will. Getting a closer look to it, you realized it was his Knife.

“Here, take this. Get yourself on land and stay there, it was always in my blood to die at sea. It’s not a fate I ever wanted for you.” Bootstrap declared.

You watch as Bootstrap handed Will his knife, than he turns to you with a stern look on his face.

“It’s not a fate you ever had to choose for yourself, either.”

“I know.” You simply said.

You’re suddenly embraced by Will as he promises that he will come back for you, asking you to be safe in the meantime.

“I will. Now go on before someone sees.”

You take one last look as Will rows away from the Dutchman and into the dark of night.

***

Ever since Will Turner had been of absence, Bootstrap looked after you.

Sometimes he was a hard case, but most of the time it happened as a front for the crew and captain, Davy Jones. Bootstrap couldn’t help but take notice Davy Jones has been keeping an eye on you and couldn’t figure out why. Until you had formed a bond with Davy, Bootstrap than understood.. it all became clear to him.

Wanting to keep your safety a priority, he didn’t say anything about you taking part of Will’s escape that night and it turned to be a blessing in disguise per say, as Davy ordered for you to be moved into his own quarters which would provide you more decent shelter of the ship then what the rest were getting. Things seemed to be going in your favor, until that awful night where you had to put yourself to work in the harsh winds and rainstorm. Quite a number of times did you slip on the wet and unforgiving floorboards of the Dutchman, that almost landed you overboard into the sea. One incident did occur when as you were carrying a heavy loaded bucket of water to throw back, you slipped once again and soon found yourself dangling over the side of the ship, calling out for help.

Your cries for help over the thunderous noise of the waves crashing have luckily been heard as you felt someone’s hands lifting you, hoisting you back onboard. Of course you knew it was Bootstrap Bill and with now knowing you’re back onboard, you allow yourself to pass out from exhaustion, but not without hearing your name being called.

“(Y/n)!” Davy shouts, seeing your limp figure.

Upon seeing your limp body, Davy was assuming the worst when Bootstrap gives him hope.

“She’s not dead, captain. Just passed out from exhaustion.”

“Take her to my quarters!” Davy barked.

***

Although you were still in the same drenched soaked clothing you had on when Bootstrap Bill rescued you from what your mind has told you from certain death, you don’t have any recollections of feeling so cold as the ocean’s waters that fateful stormy night where a dreadful temperature nearly matching the same of the bottom of the seabed.

You had woken in the captain’s quarters, and although your savior Bootstrap Bill was there, all you wanted was Davy Jones.

Little did you know, DavyJones was just right outside when he heard the sound of you gurgling, seemingly struggling to catch some air to breathe until you could at last. A silent sigh of relief left from him as he walked over to check on your well-being.

All Davy Jones truly wanted now was to provide some sort of comfort for you, although it was now just the two of you as Bootstrap Bill left to continue work upon orders. However, you still seemed to be struggling to breathe at a proper rhythm and as you do, Davy Jones was trying to figure out a way on how to help you, any Lille bit could save your life.

Davy than rushes over to you, reaching his more human hand out towards you, which you did take without hesitation. As you do that, he begins to speak on telling you what to do, and you so, you started feeling better little by little, and even comforted.

“Just breathe… breathe and everything’s going to be okay.” He tells you.

Though you shouldn’t believe him, you do. It was different being in his presence, yet comforting as you felt safe enough to allow your hand to continue to rest in one you were currently holding.

Weirdly enough, this brought you the kind of comfort that was enough to have you lean your head back onto the soft pillow beneath you while falling back asleep in the care and comfort of Davy Jones.

The man you would soon have fallen for, as he would you.

Before your lights went out for the next little while, Davy Jones didn’t let you go without a few more words left to say before you awake once again.

“Just rest. I’m here.”

And than…

“My heart will always belong to you. My heart is yours.”

***

Requests: OPEN

@savvythepirate

Tags: @royisrandom @always-on-hiatus @princessofthornsandroses @justafairytailofinnocence @marsswann @friendlynova @mypookiebeardavyjones @imalittleoutthere @personlovinganime

Characters list:

• Jack Sparrow

• Davy Jones

• Hector Barbossa

• Will Turner

[littlewestern]

See what happens

Bingo! Sir topham hatt/ Mr percival

Oh boy, lol.

At the risk of being the boring adult in the room once again, this is another one that just doesn't do anything for me as a romantic relationship. Far be it from me or Sir Topham to get in the way of what is clearly a very loving and robust relationship between Peregrine and his darling wife.

(I mean, goddamn. Look at all those kids.)

That said, I do think their business relationship is one that contains as many weird facets and nuances as a romantic one, and that's why I find it so fascinating. If I thought people would read them, I have more than one fic idea involving these two just sitting down and talking over tea.

See, Hatt's a real hardass, especially in the bad old days. I think part of the reason he ran the NWR the way that he did for so long was because it *was* just him, his five pains in the ass, and the zero dollars he had to split between them. Anyone else might have sought out a business partner early on to help ease the financial and operational strains of running this kind of slapdash outfit. The way Hatt was doing business though, I think he didn't trust anyone else to see his vision and to let him make the decisions he felt needed to be made. Not having to answer to investors or business partners meant he could run his railway however he liked. At a certain point, though, I think this became untenable.

There's some question as to what their business relationship is exactly. I've seen it suggested that the Skarloey Railway is Mr. Percival's and that the NWR and the Skarleoy Railway have nothing to do with each other, but I prefer the idea that Hatt actually bought all the railways on Sodor and then ceded their operation to Mr. Percival (and later Fergus Duncan). Personally, I think it's tidier if Hatt's in charge of everything and is simply delegating power where needed. In either case though, Hatt is clearly the one with the raw captial, and Mr. Percival answers to him if not strictly in chain of command, then at least in spirit, because Hatt's is the biggest and the one setting the tone for how all the other railways on the island should comport themselves in advertising and operation.

For Hatt to go through all the hardship and trouble of bootstrapping his way to that position of power, and then to put that much of it in the hands of some other guy... I think that speaks to how much trust Hatt puts in Mr. Percival, and rightly so in my opinion. Mr. Percival runs a tight ship, has a great deal of faith in his engines, and doesn't take any shit when they start acting up. We can surmise from this that he and Hatt are very much of the same mind on how engines ought to be treated, and I think that was as much a determining factor in Hatt's decision to appoint Mr. Percival as his business acumen or service credentials.

Yeah, I could go insane about these two for a while, but I'll cut it here. This is a dumb shipping bingo, after all.

That said, if you really did want to make it shippy, I will say that Mr. Percival's history is left deliberately vague and there's no reason that he and Hatt couldn't have met while both working for the GWR in some capacity. Probably as young, unmarried men... Just a thought.

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

So I've mainly been posting abt star wars on this blog, but recently I rediscovered my love for pirates of the caribbean, so prepare for some throwaway thoughts on that one every once in a while.

First thought; in the first movie, when Jack and Barbossa are talking about who's blood they need to lift the curse Jack says "No, I expect you to stand on some beach, not having any name at all, watching me sail away on my ship and then I'll shout the name back to you."

And you know what's funny abt that? Like imagine if that actually happened, Barbossa was so desperate to find Bootstrap's child that he agreed to Jack's terms and then, as he stands on that beach all he hears is a faint "William Turner!" from the distance. Like,,, that would've been the ultimate king shit moment for Jack, because he's not lying but Barbossa woulda been like "you bitch I alreADY KNEW THAT!!!" bc yanno they have the same name

[sylphidine]

[Fic] Call Signs, Chapter 35

Fandom: Deltarune

‘Verse: Human AU

Pairings: Swatch/Spamton [Swatchton]; Spamton/T.M. [SpamManager or Tasqueton, not quite sure of the ship name]

Characters: Terese Marlena Tinker [previously T.M. Tanner], Catechu Dyer, Indigo Dyer, Spamton Addison, Swatch Paletta, Julius Dyer, Desiree Dyer, Kirov Rouvin

Rating: Mature

Chapter title: Bootstrapped Leitmotif

Chapter summary: Spring is newly sprung. Our cast of characters has some adjustments to make, some minor, some major.

Author notes: Wow, two chapters in a single week?

Happy International Fanworks Day.

No trigger warnings, but content warnings for present alcohol use and past dubious consent.

_________

T.M. had wasted no time in changing desire into action. After getting her mother to hand over all the official originals of the documents T.M. would need, she sent a notarized letter to Mrs. Tanner stating her request for a cessation of all unsolicited contact.

[T.M. had wanted to send the letter to the attention of "the future Mrs. Horseface Fucker", but Swatch and Spamton between them had talked her out of it.]

Letter sent, T.M. started the process of getting her name legally changed to Terese Marlena Tinker.

Washing dishes side by side with Catechu in Spamton's and Swatch's kitchen a few days later, she ticked off verbal bullet points to explain her thinking. “This is New York, the home of red tape. It’s gonna take months, no matter what the site says about six to eight weeks.  It’s probably better for me to get this nailed down before my job starts in July. Easier for HR, easier for any place where I end up signing a lease."

Indigo looked up from where he was finishing icing the brownies he'd made. "You're still going to be able to use TMT for your initials. That's smart. Keep your brand, kind of." 

"That's the idea."

Catto finished drying a plate and slotted it into the dish drain. Paying no attention to T.M.'s wet hands or the running water, he picked her up and twirled her around. "You're still my big sis, no matter what your name is. You can smack my head if I slip up and call you Tabsy."

"Same here. And chances are I'll mess up more than that galoot," added Indo, pointing at his twin. "He's had practice, at least."

"Oh? Do tell." Back on her feet now, T.M. abandoned the sink and moved to sit at the table, eyeing the brownies hungrily.

"Yeah, well, it's like this." Catechu rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Kendra's got a brother who used to be her sister, and now he's Emmett instead of Emily, and I don't always remember, so it's just easier for me to say 'Em' when I talk about her. Him, I mean."

This seemed to unlock some kind of heartfelt logjam, because Catto then burst out with, "I never had trouble when Swatch started wanting to be 'they'. So why is it so hard for me to hear you changing your name?"

Indigo looked at T.M., and she looked back at him. She got up and patted Catechu’s arm.

The big man was shaking. "Everything's changing, and I hate it."

The only thing T.M. could think of saying, "You both can still call me Tabsy."

Catto turned away and picked up another dish to dry that didn’t need to be dried. He said gruffly, “What the hell is taking Swatch and Spamton so long? There can’t be that many different kinds of cough drops at Pathmark.”

T.M. wisely did not point out that Swatch and Spamton had been gone less than ten minutes.

______

The two of them passed the registered letter back and forth.

ADDISON CYBERNETICS

1997 CIRCUIT DRIVE, SUITE 356

WHITE PLAINS, NY 10610

March 17, 2022

Dear Mx. Paletta:

Congratulations! I’m thrilled to extend an offer for our mask design internship in our Integrated Circuit Layout department at Addison Cybernetics.  

Your start date will be Monday, June 6, 2022. On your first day, you will report directly to Sam Chua. Your internship will take place between the hours of 9am and 4:30pm, with a cap at 48 hours per week should additional projects require it. 

We’re pleased to offer you a salary of $82.300 for the year’s internship, to be broken into weekly payments of $1582.69.  

At Addison Cybernetics, we pride ourselves on creating informative and rewarding experiences for our interns. That’s why you can look forward to receiving 1:1 mentorship, learning and development opportunities, and access to company privileges  

To accept this offer, please sign and return this letter by March 31, 2022. In the meantime, feel free to reach out with any questions. We look forward to welcoming you to the team.

Sincerely, 

Anne Demetriou

Human Resources, Addison Cybernetics

AD/glb

“I can’t believe how fast they made up their minds.  I only interviewed a week ago.”

“It’s to the c-c-company’s benefit not to - not to waste time.”

“I don’t know whether to kiss this letter or to frame it.”

“The f-f-first thing you need to do with that letter is sign all three copies and date - date them, s-s-send two of’em back, and THEN you c-can kiss the last one and put it under - our pillow.”

“Good thinking.”

“B-b-but you do know they’re lowballing you, right?”

“How so?”

“They’re g-g-going to make you do a full engineer’s work for the absolute minimum they can - they can g-get away with.”

“I don’t care. It’s a foot in the door. Besides, most of the engineering internships I looked at last year before Fairlight got sick paid less than half that.” “Shit. I t-take it back. You’re gonna be a k-king, king.”

“Thank you.”

Spamton pulled Swatch down on top of him with surprising strength and kissed them fiercely. “So, so proud of you,” he murmured into Swatch’s hair. 

_________

"Hello, fellow dreamers, this is DJ Dreamweaver. Before we all cross tonight's highways of fantasy together, so I can help you forget today's pain, I've got two announcements to make.

“First, and on the trivial side, due to seasonal shift changes here at WRCI, I’m pleased to announce that the DJ Dreamweaver show will be moving next week, starting on the 29th, to the Tuesday evening 8pm to 10pm slot. DJ Zonker will be burning the midnight oil with you on Wednesdays in my place to help you survive the midweek blues.

"Second, and much more importantly, don't forget that WRCI, the Nifty 850, the station that rocks a whole square block, will have a booth at the Seeds of Peace Festival in Garlic Park next month on Saturday, April 8th, rain or shine. The Seeds of Peace Festival is a fundraiser for relief efforts in Ukraine. Eight DJs from WRCI, including yours truly, will be spinning tunes from 8am until midnight for a sixteen-hour dance marathon to raise money for Ukraine. Sign up sheets and pledge forms are available to download from our website, or else pick up your hard copy from DJ Kaard in his office at the Student Union during station hours.

“Now it’s time to open the show with the late and much-missed Tom Petty, backed by his Heartbreakers and Jeff Lynne, performing ‘Learning To Fly’.”

_________

The vibrant, art-filled walls of SpaHa Soul never failed to send a shiver of happiness down Swatch’s spine. The Friday night after they got their offer letter, they followed Uncle Julius to a corner glass-topped table, while Indigo pulled out a chair for Aunt Desiree. Catechu chatted with the guitarist setting up for the evening’s set and waved at Artist T., just emerging from the kitchen with plates for the group of diners in the opposite corner.

Uncle Julius had found this place about eight years ago and it had become THE go-to place for Dyer-Paletta family celebrations.   

And tonight they were here to celebrate Indo and Catto’s getting summer internships at the Wythe in Williamsburg, as well as Swatch’s internship.

“Chef’s choice tonight, sir,” Uncle Julius said to Artist T., after getting a hearty backslap from the proprietor. “All three of these fine young people, going out into the world and making their mark!”

“It’s a better world for you all being in it,” agreed Artist T., making a note on his pad and heading back through the swinging doors.

“I like the new glasses, honey,” Aunt Desiree commented to Swatch. “You look good in aviators, and brown is a nice color for you.”

Swatch nodded.”The tint’s helpful for cutting out blue light, and since I expect I’m going to be spending a lot more time in front of screens with the new job, I figured they were worth a splurge.”

On the other side of the table, Indo was listing off all the different areas in the boutique hotel where he and his twin would be working during their ten weeks. “I don’t know how I’m going to keep a straight face when I’m answering phones and directing calls to ‘Le Crocodile’. It’ll probably get easier after a while. At least ‘Bar Blondeau’ sounds more normal. Only thing I’m worried about is getting there on time every day.”

“Better than the commute would have been if we’d gotten the gig at The Ludlow. That commute would have been a real bitch.” Catto caught his mother’s glare and muttered, “Sorry, mom.  It would have been a real bear .”

Uncle Julius laughed and then turned to Swatch. “You’re going to be cutting it awfully fine, between graduation and starting this new job. You’d better start looking at apartments now if you don’t think your landlady will extend your lease past June.”

“I know. Even with a decent salary, I’m either going to have to spend all my time commuting or all my money on a shoebox to live in.” They realized that it sounded like they were complaining, and quickly added with a laugh in their voice, “Or I could ask my favorite aunt to use her real estate agent superpowers and her mad networking skills.”

“That’s the spirit,” Aunt Desiree answered. “We’re not going to leave you out in the cold, even if you have to stay with us for a month or so while you’re getting your feet under you. You’ve got family, don’t forget.

Swatch smiled back at her. “I will never forget that.”

“And don’t forget we’re proud of you. All three of you,” Uncle Julius interjected, waving his hand to include his sons. “Not a bad apple in the bunch.”

“Thanks, Pop,” Indo replied for himself and for his brother. “Especially thanks for being such a good sport about us not working at Ambit Automation.” “Oh, you boys might still end up there if the economy tanks. Luxury disappears, but people always need manufacturing. Look at the Brooklyn Navy Yards. That’s as big a comeback as the Jazz beating the Nuggets.”

“But the boys are using their degrees,” Aunt Desiree pointed out. “Degrees that you and I both approved of, husband mine.”

“Yes, dear.”

At that moment Artist T. and Amber swooped in with platters of fried chicken, stuffed pork chops, coconut rice, spicy yams, and collard greens, enough to feed an army.

Catechu raised his glass. “To family.”

Four glasses clinked against his.

________

“Tell me more about these buff birdmen in corsets,” T.M. teased.

Spamton chuckled in embarrassed remembrance. “They weren’t  actually b-b-birds. They wore bird masks. Like - like beaks. Sexier than plague d-d-doctors.”

“So you turned your living room into an adults-only butler cafe for your twentieth birthday party.”

“I’m not - not pr-proud of who I was then. I didn’t - didn’t br-break the ‘no touch’ rule, but I did - I did ogle a lot.”

“You weren’t a complete sleaze, I guess.”

“Thank you, Trez.”

The first time Spamton had fumbled his words while trying out T.M. 's new name, “Terese” had come out of his mouth as “Trez”. To his relief and delight, she had happily adopted it as a nickname.

She was curled up in the basket chair in the upstairs room that Swatch had named “Spamton’s eyrie”. He was sitting on the floor and had his head in her lap while she played with his hair. Spamton had taken the advice of his current therapist and was now giving T.M. some of the edited “highlights” of his checkered past.

HEAVILY edited. 

“I c-could do the flexing thing, if you wanted. But I don’t think it would b-be quite as impressive as those g-guys.” He got to his knees and raised his face to meet her kiss.

They hadn’t moved beyond kissing yet, and T.M. seemed perfectly happy with that. She told him how much she enjoyed how carefully he kissed her. “Some guys think they have to be rough because I’ve got piercings, like it’s a challenge.”

Spamton was fairly sure that she knew he was careful only because he didn’t have a lot of experience kissing people with piercings, but she was too courteous to say so.  The snakebite bothered him less and less the more often they kissed, since her daily jewelry consisted of the tiniest of studs. 

The sound of the front door downstairs opening and shutting made them both smile. “Up here!” Spamton called out, sitting back down on the rug.

Swatch called back, “Are you decent?” as they climbed the stairs.

“Yes, and we’re even dressed!” T.M. trilled. This exchange had become the three’s shared joke.

“How was - how was d-d-dinner?”

“Fabulous. Real, honest-to-God soul food, in more ways than one.” Swatch took Spamton’s desk chair and turned to sit backwards on it. “My aunt and uncle send their love.”

“I gotta go down to Queens soon and just have a girly day with Desiree. It’s long overdue.” “Mmmm-hmmm. And maybe you can pick her brain about apartment-hunting. As Uncle Julius reminded me, graduation’s just around the corner.”

“Yeah.”

Spamton changed the subject to stave off the panic he felt at the idea of these two leaving him just when he'd found them. “N-now that all three - all three of us are here, c-can I ask both for a - a favor?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, of course. Ask away, Short Stuff.”

“C-can you both sit in with me in the stu-stu-studio for the first leg of my radio show next week? I’m going to try something d-d-d-different and I kind of - kind of need both of you there.”

T.M. looked across at Swatch and nodded. Swatch got up and pulled Spamton to his feet and into a hug. With a suspicious raspiness in their voice, they said, “We’ll be there.”

_________

“I printed two copies, just in case you didn’t get a chance to.”

“Thank you, schwitthott.” T.M. took one of the sheets from Swatch and started reading. 

The two of them stood in the hallway of the student union, just outside the doors of WRCI’s main studio, waiting for Spamton. The dinnertime DJ was playing J-pop.

“He said this was your idea?” Swatch asked.

“Kind of. I mentioned I have a set of ‘go to hell’ playlists that I rotate through to cope with stuff. This timeline stuff though, that’s all 100% our lad’s doing.” T.M. smiled fondly.

“Our lad.  I like that. Not ‘lad’ like he’s our kid. but like we’re all lads together.”

“Uh huh.”

Swatch leaned against the wall and sighed. “So you know that he was homeless for a while, after… well, after everything.”

She nodded. “It explains a lot about his food issues. As horrible as it might sound, I’m really, really happy that it wasn’t what I first thought.”

“Oh?”

“I thought Spamton had the same thing going on that I did with my dad. At least the whole power-trippy withholding food thing so I had to hoard stuff. Trust me, I would have put at least one of his siblings through a wall if that’s what had happened.”

“Remind me never to wander down a dark alley with you when you’re pissed off with me, Moggy.” 

Swatch straightened up when they saw Spamton walking down the hallway towards the other two. 

T.M. murmured, “It’s showtime.” 

When he reached them, Spamton stretched up and gave each a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s - let’s do this thing.”

______

“Welcome to the premiere of the Tuesday night version of the DJ Dreamweaver show. Normally I give a little bit of background on what I’ve chosen for the night’s selections. This time around, I’m going to let the music do the talking. Thanks for listening.”

T.M. sat beside Spamton on one side of the booth, headphones on, ready to help him with the potentiometers for segues and fade-ins. Swatch sat on the opposite side, just there to listen and to give moral support. Spamton had mentioned that the playlist was less than an hour long, so Swatch would have plenty of time to leave before the extra Tuesday night shift they’d picked up at Plato’s.

They picked up the printed sheet of paper and started to read along with the lyrics Spamton had typed out, as well as Spamton’s notes as to why he’d put particular songs in his “timeline”. 

THE LOGICAL SONG - SUPERTRAMP

[ Self-explanatory, the little kid I was, and my boarding school days ]

When I was young

It seemed that life was so wonderful

A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical

And all the birds in the trees

Well they'd be singing so happily

Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me

But then they sent me away

To teach me how to be sensible

Logical, oh responsible, practical

And then they showed me a world

Where I could be so dependable

Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical

There are times

When all the world's asleep

The questions run too deep

For such a simple man

Won't you please

Please tell me what we've learned

I know it sounds absurd

Please tell me who I am

NUMB - MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

[That’s when it started to hit me that I had a lot to live up to, being a part of the Addison family. Perfect set-up for Mike to step in]

One track mind like a goldfish

Stuck inside my Petri dish

I can't breathe and I can't smile

This better be worth my while

I feel numb most of the time

The lower I get the higher I'll climb

And I will wonder why

I got dark only to shine

Looking for the golden light

Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice

Burn, burn, burn bright

Forego families, forego friends

It's how it started, how it ends

I can't open up and cry

'Cause I've been silent all my life

JUST LIKE YOU - THREE DAYS GRACE

[ all the accusations I threw back at my brothers and sister before breaking with them ]

I could be mean

I could be angry

You know I could be just like you

I could be fake

I could be stupid

You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be cold

I could be ruthless

You know I could be just like you

I could be weak

I could be senseless

You know I could be just like you

On my own, cause I can't take living with you

I'm alone, so I won't turn out like you

Want me to

You thought you were standing beside me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

THE SANITY ASSASSIN - BAUHAUS

[Mike and all his lies. Hindsight’s 20/20, huh?]

Sinister echoes clutching at straws

Letter boxes screaming

You try to pin him to the wall

You end up on the ceiling

Locked in a dome

The shadows flicker by

He's the madcap pusher

Delirium the drug he's dealing

You empty yourself once again

But he's always one step ahead

He whispers in your ear

was it nothing that you said

He's walking in your sleep now

He keeps your fat paranoia well-fed

The sanity assassin

Stays up all night stalking

The sanity assassin

Picks off victims like flies

The sanity assassin

Let his fingers do the walking

He drops a capsule in your drink

And spikes your dreams with madness

I GOT YOU - SPLIT ENZ

[Deluding myself that Mike actually gave a damn about me]

I got you - and that's all I want

I won't forget - that's a whole lot

I don't go out - not now that you're in

Sometimes we shout - but that's no problem

Look at you - you're a pageant

You're everything - that I've imagined

Something's wrong - I feel uneasy

Reassure me - tell me you're not teasing

There's no doubt - not when I'm with you

When I'm without - I stay in my room

Where do you go - I get no answer

You're always out - it gets on my nerves

I don't know why sometimes I get frightened

You can see my eyes, you can tell that I'm not lying

But I don't know why sometimes I get frightened

You can see my eyes, can you tell me you're not lyin'

WHAT DO ALL THE PEOPLE KNOW? - THE MONROES

[The year of the trade show circuit]

You know I told you once tonight

That you could always speak your mind

You work so hard to say what's right

I watch you do it all the time

And when I called you on the phone

You said that I could be the one

But here I'm standing all alone

And you're out lying in the sun

Tell me, am I getting in too deep?

Every night I'm talking in my sleep

Lately I’ve been so confused

I really don't know what to do

Could you be the one I'm thinking of?

Could you be the one I really love?

All the people tell me so

But what do all the people know?

Maybe we're just holding on

To something that'll soon be gone

Do you think I'm blind to what you do?

Do you think I really care for you?

Do you think that we both should let it show?

Do you think that we both should let it go?

Or is it just another game that you and I pretend to play?

All the people tell me so

But what do all the people know?

UNKNOWN SOLDIER - BREAKING BENJAMIN

[Being lost in my own mind at the Pandora Palace for however long that was after the trade show circuit ended. I’m never going to get that time back.]

Border line,

Dead inside.

I don't mind,

Falling to pieces.

Count me in, violent

Let's begin, feeding the sickness.

How do I simplify,

Dislocate - the enemy's on the way.

Full of fear,

Ever clear.

I'll be here,

Fighting forever.

Curious,

Venomous,

You'll find me

Climbing to heaven.

Never mind,

Turn back time.

You'll be fine - I will get left behind.

It only hurts just once.

They're only broken bones.

Hide the hate inside.

Show me what it's like

To dream in black and white,

So I can leave this world tonight.

RUSTED FROM THE RAIN - BILLY TALENT

[life on the streets after he threw me away]

You hung me like a picture/Now I'm just a frame

I used to be your lapdog/Now I'm just a stray

Shackled in the graveyard/Left here to decay

DEATH ON TWO LEGS - QUEEN

[Finally starting to blame Mike rather than myself, during that second homeless winter just before Ballew found me]

You suck my blood like a leech

You break the law and you breach

Screw my brain 'til it hurts

You've taken all my money

And you want more

Misguided old mule with your pigheaded rules

With your narrow minded cronies

Who are fools of the first division

Talk like a big business tycoon

You're just a hot air balloon

So no one gives you a damn

You're just an overgrown schoolboy

Let me tan your hide

A dog with disease

You're the king of the sleaze

Put your money where your mouth is, Mister Know-All

Was the fin on your back

Part of the deal? (Shark)

Death on two legs

Tearing me apart

Death on two legs

You never had a heart (you never did)

Of your own (right from the start)

Insane, should be put inside

You're a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride

Should be made unemployed

Then make yourself null and void

Make me feel good (I feel good)

[The first therapist I saw on Dr. George’s advice told me to start writing letters to my old Big Shot self as though they were a separate person, so that’s the last three songs. Maybe I’ll get closure, some day.]

PAID IN FULL - SONATA ARCTICA

It's hard for me to love myself right now,

I've waited, hated, blamed it all on you...

It's hard for me to love your face right now

I'm waiting, hating, needing being

Me...

I need you...less and less...

Every day leads us farther away...

From that moment

It’s hard for me to hate myself right now

Finally I'm understanding me

SUNSHINE - BARENAKED LADIES

Most of us, have learned to trust

What we see with our own eyes

But with blinders on you hardly realize

That out of view, it's still true

Even when no one's around

We can stumble and fall down

It's just as well, It's hard to tell

Cause my hindsight's crystal clear

But the view from then's not like the view from here

If you are passed through a looking glass

The important parts appear

But the details start to smear

I ran fast, but I came last

'Cause although I set the pace

It was rigged from the start that I'd lose this race

Sunshine burns your skin

Sometimes the things we love so much just eat us up from the outside in

Oceans blue will drown

I could find a way to live with your ghost but I won't be happy till I leave this town.

GOODBYE TO YOU - SCANDAL

Those times I waited for you seem so long ago

I wanted you far too much to ever let you go

You know you never got by your fear to choose

And I guess I never could stand to lose

It's such a pity to say

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

How could I have loved someone like the one I see in you

I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too

These last few weeks of holding on

The days are dull, the nights are long

Guess it's better to say

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

'Cause baby it's over now

No need to talk about it

It's not the same

My love for you's just not the same

And my heart, and my heart

And my heart can't stand the strain

And my love, and my love

And my love won't stand the pain

Goodbye baby

So long darling

Goodbye to you

Spamton nodded at T.M. about halfway through Patti Smith’s final chorus, letting her know that he was getting ready for his talkback. She nodded back and cued up “Solsbury Hill” and “Scarecrow’s Dream” for him, as well as digging up an advertisement for Janovic Express to play at the quarter of the hour.

Swatch dug out the painted signboard they’d made and held it up wordlessly so that Spamton could see it.

You Are Loved. And You Are Stronger Than You Know. Never Forget That.

Spamton blew Swatch a silent kiss in return. 

Swatch left a few minutes later to go do their shift. T.M. stayed another half-hour and then slipped Spamton a note telling him to meet her down at Plato’s Cave.

There were plenty of spots open at the bar, but the one in the dead center of the ten or so stools was taken up by a reddish-haired stranger who looked like Sid the Sloth from ICE AGE. And he was following Swatch’s every move with his bugged-out eyes.

T.M. thought of Spamton’s bird-masked buff butlers in corsets and giggled to herself, picturing Swatch in that kind of outfit. This had to be that freshman who Swatch said was a fixture on Wednesday nights. How the kid had figured out that her bestie was on duty tonight, she didn’t have a clue, but she got the devilish urge to mess with the guy’s mind a little.

She sat herself down at the farthest end of the bar and put her purse on the seat beside her to reserve it. When Swatch came over to take her order, she whispered, “When Spamton gets here, give him the old ‘your usual, sir?’ routine. And then follow my lead.”

Swatch caught on swiftly and gave her a wink while asking in their clearly audible customer service voice, “May I suggest a Blue Moon for the young lady?”

“Oooooh, that sounds yummy,” T.M. squealed in her best imitation of some of the airheads she had loathed in high school.

“Very good. I’m certain you won’t be disappointed.”  Swatch moved away to get her a bottle and a glass.

Blue Moon was a fruitier beer than she usually drank, but it had the benefit of being known for putting lightweights under the table.

T.M. was no lightweight, but she was a fantastic actress.

The things we do for love , she thought to herself.

________

Spamton hit the switch for the cold open after his final talkback, unhooked the vocoder, hung up his headphones, and queued up the next few selections for segue for the DJ who would be following him. 

It seemed to him that time was moving both at a snail's pace and in the blink of an eye. The past few weeks had established a new status quo in his life and had brought about changes that were cementing the groundwork of his partners' lives.

Partners, plural.

He still had to grin and hug himself at the thought of having partners. Equal partners. No bloody power imbalance. No secrets. No head games. No possessiveness. No jealousy.

The new love didn't outshine the old. He didn't love Swatch any less now that he had Trez to love as well.

His heart sank, though, as he crossed the floor of Plato’s Cave and saw Kirov Rouvin seated at the bar. He was obviously trying to engage Swatch in flirtatious banter while Swatch was trying to juggle drinks and food orders for several other customers.

Including bringing another bottle of beer to one very familiar girl with golden contact lenses and blue tips at the ends of her hair. They put it down in front of her and said in an unnecessarily loud voice, “I’m afraid I will need to cut you off after this one, miss.”

Was T.M. drunk?  He hurried over to the seat beside her and looked anxiously into her face.

She tittered at Swatch’s comment, and then turned to face Spamton, her eyes stone cold sober while she grinned inanely.

Ah.

Not sure what’s going on here, but I’ll play my part.

He pulled himself up onto the barstool, pretending to ignore T.M. and waiting for Swatch to approach him, in the meantime keeping an eye on Kirov.  The young Chechen had yet to see Spamton, since Kirov’s eyes were fixed on Swatch.

Swatch finally finished with their flurry of transactions and came over to Spamton.  “The usual, my good man?” they asked him, the mellifluousness in their voice turned up to eleven.

Feeling like a celluloid hero, he replied, “Yes, indeed!”

And Swatch leaned over the bar and kissed Spamton on the forehead.

Applause broke out from the tables behind him and seemed to rouse T.M. from her state of faux -inebriation. “Hey, I wan’ some of that,” she slurred, standing up.

Kirov’s face was red and his eyes were narrowed into angry slits. Spamton sighed to himself and thought, might as well go for broke.

“It’s constitutionally impossible for me to refuse a lady.” He extended a hand to T.M. in the time-honored fashion of asking someone to dance, and she placed her hand.in his, not forgetting to loop her purse over her wrist. Clasping her around the waist, he began to circle her around the floor while crooning the song that came to mind when he saw the empty bottle on the bar.

Blue moon

You saw me standing alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own

Blue moon

You knew just what I was there for

You heard me saying a prayer for

Someone I really could care for

The impromptu waltz had them near enough to the doors to make a dramatic exit. Spamton called over T.M.’s shoulder to Swatch, “I’m going make sure this dolly gets home in one piece. See you there, sweetie?”

“Sure thing, darling," Swatch replied.

The wolf whistles and catcalls were cut off as the heavy oaken doors closed behind them.

Once outside, T.M. immediately shed her drunken lolling posture. “God, that was fun. And hopefully that stops any more workplace harassment for Swatch.”

“You are br-brilliant as well as b-b-b-beautiful.”

Now that he no longer had to channel both Cary Grant and Fred Astaire at the same time, Spamton was feeling the adrenaline that had sustained him all night starting to drain away.  It was good to see with his own eyes that Swatch hadn’t been exaggerating Kirov’s increasing creepiness, and T.M.’s little maneuver was better than anything he could have come up with.

T.M. noticed the change in his mood and asked, “Are you going to be able to relax after all this?”

He took a minute to think about it so  that he could answer her honestly. “N-not right away, no.”

“Do you trust me?”

He didn’t even have to think for a second. “Yes.”

“Come with me, then. I’ll text Swatchy so that they don’t wait up and worry.”

TO: BIRDMAN

FROM: MOGGY

taking spamton to the invisible castle

FROM: BIRDMAN

TO: MOGGY

See you both in the morning. Be safe.

[mannatea]

Predictably asking for Symphonia for the fandom meme!

I stan. 🙏

the first character i ever fell in love with: Raine. Even as a teenager she was my favorite and I loved her immediately.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I actually think I used to really like Zelos and found him hilarious when I was a teenager myself, and now I'm like 😨 about half of what he does and says. Yikes, bro. It actually makes me wonder how differently he would be written if the game was coming out for the first time now, because a lot of the stuff in the game just would NEVER fly these days.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Ah. Behold, my personal cringe: I used to ship Kratos/Raine. It didn't last very long because my fellow shippers in 2004 made me abandon ship entirely & do a heelturn toward my current OTP out of pure spite. If I'm being honest I was only shipping it because they were the only two adults in the party for a while, anyway, so it wasn't a serious attachment. 🙄 But like, it should be noted that this happened while I was in the middle of writing a love triangle fic. (My other personal cringe, shh.)

my ultimate favorite character™: RAINE, MY BELOVED. 🤍 I literally love every single thing about her.

prettiest character: You thought I was going to say Raine didn't you? WRONG. It's Yuan, actually. Look at him.

my most hated character: RODYLE. He's just so hateful.

my OTP: Regal/Raine. I will die on this hill, actually. (And have been quietly since late 2004.) This is the only ship I just won't compromise on. What can I say about it? Their dynamic just hits on a lot of notes that work exceedingly well for me personally. I won't write a manifesto here (you may thank me for holding back for your benefit) but I love both of them so much and think their personalities balance one another out incredibly well, which is a lot of fun to write.

my NOTP: Basically any Raine ship that isn't my OTP is a NOTP for me, though I do have two in particular I would consider NOTPs. IYKYK.

favorite episode skit: The My Sister skit. IT GETS ME EVERY TIME.

saddest death: Marble. SHE'S AN OLD WOMAN. PLEASE.

favorite season side plot/scene: Virginia, honestly. It messes me up every time. The doll haunts me to this day. Also, that they so INTENTIONALLY made Raine look exactly like her. Poor Raine just can't escape. And the trauma?? AHHHH.

least favorite season side plot/scene: That buffoonish Peeping Tom thing at the hot springs. I wanted more meaningful conversation with my girls and I had to deal with that instead. NO WAIT I HATE THE SCENE IN SYBAK LOOKING FOR THE LITTLE BOY'S MOM SO MUCH MORE. ZELOS'S BOOTSTRAPS SPEECH WAS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF READING, not because it wasn't 100% in character for him (HILARIOUSLY IT IS VERY IN CHARACTER 🤣) but because I feel like nobody else in the scene was written in a believable way—not Regal, not Colette, and not Lloyd. WTF WAS THAT SCENE?

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate am lukewarm about: Hate is a strong word here so I toned it down. I feel very lukewarm about Kratos. In fact, I'd go so far as to say his potential was a bit wasted just because they didn't bother to do enough with him.

my ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave well-liked’ fave: This is a hard one, because the trash characters are still trash to me. I'll maybe go with Kate or George for this. They both did terrible things but I still find them interesting and compelling as characters.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Colette, always. Also? Presea.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: I don't have one because you'll never see me shipping something like this. It's not my cuppa.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: This is a hard one. Maybe Genis/Presea for this? I think they are good for one another but they're both too young BY A LOT to really be thinking that deeply about things. However, their respect for one another and their compassion/understanding of what the other has been through could lead to something nice later in life. I'm not over those adorable skits where Genis asks for advice from others on what present to get for her and they all collectively give him the worst advice imaginable and he ends up buying her a whetstone because he KNOWS HER AS A PERSON and she LOVES THE GIFT. This is what peak performance looks like in a person, actually.

Thanks! ♥

[talkingbl]

I Put 34 GMMTV Actor Names Into A Random Pairing Generator...here are the results.

and my thoughts on each. S/o to the internet for this idea.

Key: Yes No Interesting

Off-Louis. No

I cannot picture this pair at all, sorry.

Nanon-Ford. Interesting

This one is interesting. Ford has potential and the Our Skyy 2 trailer & clips proves that Nanon can retain chemistry with just about anyone, regardless of the circumstances ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

Tay-Thor. Interesting

For some reason, I can see it. I can't explain it, but Thor's acting energy matches Tay's so well. I can kind of see it for them in a modern-style romantic comedy.

Mark-Mix. Yes

How have I not thought of this!!! Visuals: ✨SCRUMPTIOUS✨, Talent: ✨EXISTENT✨, Chemistry: ✨SCORCHING✨! (Well, that last one is more of a guess) but I can 100% see them in a continuation story of Jedi-Rose-style storyline that we saw in The Warp Effect. GMMTV, pay me for this one.

Neo-Krist. No

I sort of see it but, sadly, I'm not sure I can conceive of a suitable plot to match their skills. And even though I've only seen Krist in one series, I feel like the chemistry wouldn't play off the screen very well.

Earth-Pond. No

Beautiful visuals but probably negative chemistry. While Earth has more partnerships to study when it comes to chemistry, Pond only has demonstrated chemistry with Phuwin and he struggles to even maintain that the moment he opens his mouth.

Podd-Gawin. This one is cheating, we already know they work.

Gemini-Chimon. No

To be quite frank, I don't think Gemini can match Chimon's energy. While their acting skill is at a somewhat similar level, I don't think Gemini can pull off the type of characters I expect Chimon to be acting alongside at this point (like, for example, a young office worker/intern).

Joss-New. Lmao Yes

This has the potential to be the most entertaining BL of all time. Up there with Unforgotten Night, even

Drake-Dunk. What in the fresh hell is this?

Listen, I see Dunk. View him even. But to ask him to pull this chemistry up by its bootstraps is doing too damn much. Not only can I not see the chemistry, but even the visuals don't match well. Plus, who gon act?

Joong-Fourth. No (and yes it's for the reasons you're thinking)

The biggest problem with this pairing is the implication of the visual. IMO Joong looks like Fourth's uncle to me. And while they don't *really* look alike, they do, you know?

Bright-Khaotung. Khaotung, I am so sorry to you.

If Bright couldn't match Win's acting skill, how can he match Khao's?

Perth-Gun. Interesting

While I'd watch it just to see two very talented actors play off of one another, I almost feel like they'd be brought down by chemistry? Hear me out here: Gun does not easily create romantic chemistry with his acting partners. Even where there are strong romantic undertones to a plot his character is in, it almost completely dissipates under Gun's strong presence. I'm thinking very clearly of TodBlack here. We were 100% meant to ship that but Gun made it so hard lol. He had much more chemistry with Mond as Gram (as White and Black) than he had with Sing as Tod. Hell, some storylines complicate his chemistry with Off. That said, if it's a Not Me-style plot, I'd watch it.

First-Satang. VERY Interesting

I haven't seen Satang in much but he gives vibes of being able to create chemistry with anyone a la Nanon and, ironically, First. And we all know what to expect from First at this point. They'll give us what Marc Pahun and Pawin were supposed to give in MGAYG.

Winny-Win. Interesting

While both of them could use acting classes, their looks complement each other and they have the vibes to pull off a $2 Copy A Bangkok-airing-on-AIS Play BL plot.

Ohm (Pawat)-Singto. Been there, done that.

Fluke (Pusit)-Phuwin. I'll have to pass

I like them both in other pairings but together they'd kind of put me off. I'd need a proof of concept or something first.

[ronmanmob]

💚 + Andrew Riely

Green Hearts For Ships

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." - Rumi

Rare is it to find a pair of people about whom I can envision a gamut of potential relationships so wide as to legitimately include He'd actually kill him with his hands in X-verse and, He'd dance at his wedding and glory in being Uncle Ron/Uncle Andy to his kids in Y-verse and neither be even a half-centimetre out of character for either man. Both men have the same If you're between me and my goal you'll either move or I'll go through you mentality, and both of them, if the other was in that between place, wouldn't fucking budge for the asking. If they met as Hotshot Policeman and Gangster, there's only one way that's gonna end and it'd break me because as men, stripped of their respective occupations, I'd bet my mortgage on them getting on like a house on fire.

Because they do.

And that's why that Rumi quote up there, is there.

I've seen and can easily imagine seeing them breaking literal bread and discussing anything at all that came to mind - religion, philosophy, the latest sports wins and losses, music, food, adventures; imagined and actual. They're from polar opposite social classes, but between them it matters for shit. Ron doesn't give half a fuck the lad's a billionaire and Riley's never judged how Ron had to yank himself out the gutter by bootstraps he didn't have. If anything, the fight in the stocky Brit seemed to impress him.

Beyond that, they call each other out on their bullshit to a degree - when it's Riley doing the out calling - that frankly terrifies Ron's in-London contemporaries. No one talks to Ron Kray like that, fronts up and don't back down from Ron Kray like that, and don't lose his kneecaps.

Except this fella.

There's a lot of except this fella regarding Andrew Riley and the seeming leave he's got to get up in Ron's grill in ways that'd get anyone else twatted round the head with something blunt. Most of the lads think its because Ron fancies him, and while the publican-gangster isn't blind to Riley's pretty bits, them lads are off in their thinking. Ron respects the man, knows he isn't from the same world Ron rules in London and knows as well that he values his counsel - Riley's counsel - too much to bare his teeth at slights that aren't slights between them but that'd get the lads looking in tossed out the kitchen window. At Cedra Court.

I've gone on ages now. Suffice it to say I adore the dynamic these two have and want very much to write and explore all the things with him.

And if there is a wrinkle in the universe where an interested, engaged hazel gaze might turn a specific kind of adoring as Ron rabbits on about the boxing; where feels neither expected creep in by surprise and turn He's my Brit to He's MY Brit; where time with Rawnie becomes a specific sort of solace and time with Riley lights up Ron's life -- I'm here for the long road it'd take to get them there, and all that'd come along the way and after.

[heartfucksmouth]

just trying to climb out of the utter exhaustion I put myself in by doing way too much and pushing myself too hard. had a meltdown last night. it's always feeling like I have no autonomy/freedom while also having not enough help and understanding from the people we live with. I love being a mom, I love my son, but I still need help or I'll crash and get really sick. we live with boomer-bootstrap-ignorant-childish people and it really turns my mind inside out sometimes. this isn't about myles, he's so so helpful but he needs a break too... bc he's my caretaker too in many ways.

I had a nightmare that myles mom was suing for full custody of Aidan bc she said I was unfit bc I'm sick and need extra rest. it was so disturbing it stayed with me all day and I think it contributed to my meltdown.

I can't change these people and I can't get away. I know if we could afford our own place things would be very different... I hope someday we get there. I hope someday I'll be creative and artistic and grow a huge garden and practice my rituals and teach my son so so much without being challenged and blockaded at every turn. I told myles I'm gonna teach Aidan Spanish just to piss off his mom lol

ade took 2 hours to fall asleep. I'm climbing into bed in a minute. I was reading a sample of persephone rising and I think I might buy it.

also, again, I'm selling sooo much stuff on my depop bc I'm cleaning out as much as I can bc there's no room in this house bc his mom hoards cheap dumb things (and toilet paper and cartons of cream and butter?)

so my shop name is __lynx_ and I am willing to negotiate prices on almost everything! like, I made a dollar off one sale after the fees and I had offered free shipping lmao. it's less about the money and more a way to reach more people and clean out space. please tell people who need baby stuff too. I'm selling bundles of baby clothes for like 20 bucks! I'll even donate them if people need it that badly (I already have to a new teen mom in a bad situation)

OK goodnight mutuals and lurkers alike

[animentality]

I'm re watching pirates of the Caribbean and I'm noticing that the plot of 2 is not nearly as complicated as people always think.

The only reason people think it is, I suspect, is because the main exposition is passed by characters who talk in a muffled or confusing way!

I'll give you examples:

- Bootstrap Bill is the one who explains Jack's debt to Davy Jones and that he needs a hundred souls to pay him back for resurrecting the pearl. Super simple plot point, jack needs to pay the guy back cuz his ship was sunk. Or he dies. He talks very quietly and mumbles and slurs.

- Tia Dalma is the one who explains Davy Jones' backstory. She explains that jack needs the key to his heart so they can kill him and release Jack from his debt. She explains the fact that he once fell in love with a woman and that's why his heart is in a chest, and that's why jack needs the key to said chest. She has a strong accent and talks in riddles.

- Davy Jones has a strong accent and talks in riddles too. He also talks like a poet, which some people have a hard time understanding. He pushes the plot forward very often.

So I think potc 2 is actually not terribly complicated, people just need subtitles.

[silver-spider-art]

This is a wonderful breakdown of both the special and of the liberal white existential dread that I know I've been feeling lately.

My understanding of white american exceptionalism broke apart once i hit college and has been a slide into being radicalized and seeing how the world really is over the last two decades. It's the dawning horror of it all, realizing it just keeps getting worse, that there is always something else that you were raised on that's a lie. And the feeling of betrayal. For me it was feeling lied to by my parents and teachers, they painted a world where hard work was all that mattered and then I got out into that world and hard work meant jack shit. Seeing a world were one person works their ass off and just slides backwards, never rising above their current level of worst falling deeper into poverty all while another person just fails upwards without effort. Realizing that race and wealth and health and disability and sexuality and gender matter so much more than hard work. That "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" was always meant to sound as ridiculously impossible as it does.

It's a thing of pure dread knowing how little an individual can effect change because that whole individual power part we were sold was also a lie. And just the exhaustion I feel at every proposed performative act of protest or ally-ship were the thing they are doing is ultimately meaningless and meant to signal that they care but doesn't do anything to change because it emphasizes individual action over collective action or it's unsustained collective action (example: short term boycotts) and I just... sigh.

The worst dread is always in knowing that I still haven't finished the work dismantling the framework I was raised under, that there are things I likely still have as assumptions about that are harmful to others, and the dread of what is left of my "culture" when it's over? Because white isn't really a culture. It's tried to be a few times but it's more a lack of one. It was a stripping of culture to create an us vs them narrative to support white supremacy that left something hollowed out behind. For me it's the constant question of "who am I? What am I?" Because my family never passed down culture. The only culture I was given was hating minorities, depression era recipes, and the sort of hoarding poor people do when they have property (throw nothing away if you could use it later). But that's not a culture. I know I have Irish and Scottish and English and Native American in me at the minimum but the family tree dead ends in those places. No one recorded my indigenous great great grandmother's tribe, no one recorded her Irish immigrant husband's linage or passed along his culture, it was just a single fact my paternal grandmother knew about her family tree. My maternal grandfather wore a kilt and played the bagpipes but my mother never shared that culture with me. I had to learn about his copper red hair and youthful kilt wearing from old pictures. It's a deep feeling of loss, things I could've had but was denied because of white supremacists.

I feel like it's that toxic combo of arrogance, entitlement, and that envious loss of identity that drives so many white people to steal other peoples culture. I know I've looked at other cultures with envy in my heart. In the video he mentions how current white music is mostly watered down black music and yeah, I feel that too. When I was young and dumb there was this feeling of "america is a melting pot so everything is a grab bag" and that of course it was okay to pull "inspiration" from other cultures, and then you start waking up and it's, fuck that was wrong. But where do you go from there? What happens after you realize you have no culture and your ancestors were stripped of it so long ago that you can't even figure out were to look? It's a horrible sort of grief. A grief and loss that gets tied up in "if I'm only 1/8 or less anything am I allowed to claim this culture or is that appropriation?" I have native american on both sides, I'll never even know their real names, no one bothered to record their history. I'm a descendant of immigrants but their culture was washed away by force or to assimilate to avoid racism. The only part of my history I was actually passed down was poor and "white".

It's a hard thing to process, this sort of grief. Of known how to express it without hurting others in the process. Of knowing who to look towards for how to having these feelings safely. The last thing I want is to hurt BIPOCs with my deconstruction of the white privilege I was raised under. It's damn messy and filled with dread. Anyway, I hope this isn't just a lot of white tears. It's is because this shit fucking hurts, but I hope it isn't White Tears™.

TL;DR: dismantling the world view you were raised on is messy and causes lots of emotions and white isn't a salvageable culture