#I'm already aware of these things but writing is fun and sometimes people even read them...

[literallys-illiteracy]

Alchemy and the Magnum Opus in The Magnus Protocol/Archives:

So I was working on a project that was in essence a google doc where I go over a bunch of alchemy stuff that could be useful for others attempting to understand the Magnus Protocol, and then I realised I should probably post this month so here's that stuff early (some of it)

Magnum Opus:

Magnum Opus, also known as “The Work” and “The Great Work” is the process of which one would create “The Philosopher’s Stone” (Also known as The Work, The Great Work, Our Stone, The Magnum Opus, The Powder; The Tincture).

The Philosopher’s stone is best known for the concept of transmuting base metals such as Iron and Lead into Higher Metals such as Silver, Gold and Platinum.

The Stone would also bring us divine revelation, true knowledge, and eternal life, or so it was said. The Magnum Opus is too thought of as the process of personal and mental development and transmutation.

That’s right, transmuting your gender is indeed alchemy.

Glossary for the remainder of the section:

The stone/Philosopher’s stone: The stone itself Magnum Opus: The final product (The Stone). The Work/The Great Work: The process of creating The Stone. Our Matter/The Matter: The incomplete Stone in the process of The Work. 

The Stone itself was said to be created in several “stages”, traditionally and most well known in the Four primary ones, but there have also been groups of 12 and 14 steps to its creation.

The primary stages that exist are as follows:

Nigredo, meaning “Blackening”, typically used to refer to the decomposition of a body. In relation to alchemical recipes, it is seen as the breaking down of all ingredients into a single blackness, the degradation and “blackening” of the materials to their base.

Albedo, meaning “whiteness”, is the stage following Nigredo. After the decomposition of the ingredients into their singular base form(s), the matter is then separated (“cleansed”) into parts, the matter becoming white with the separation of impurities.

Citrinitas, meaning “Yellowness” is the process of bringing forth the inner though lesser aspects of the whole. One can understand the Yellowing to simply be a state in which Our Matter is ready to continue to the final stage of The Work; After the separation of the previous flaws it must be prepared once more unto a yellowed state.

Rubedo, or Iosis acts as the final stage of The Work, “The Reddening”. Iosis is best understood through its relation to Albedo: Once the impurities have been removed, there is a separation made; In this purification of the Matter we have separated a part of itself, the purity in Albedo exists due to its contrast with the removed Matter. In Iosis, the Matter is reintroduced to itself, the two opposites unifying and once again becoming the whole, base matter that was strived for.

Psychoanalysis and alchemy:

This subsection also contains a glossary:

Self: The entirety of one’s own person. Mind, ideas, consciousness, opinions and ideals; the entire unfiltered whole of both conscious and unconscious. 

Shadow: The aspects of one’s Self that they (either consciously or unconsciously) ignore; The Shadow is best understood as the traits that one does not wish to accept or dislikes about themself, the repressed and unwanted traits.

Persona: The mask that one presents to the outer world of their “Self” in order to create definite impressions and out of concern for what others surrounding them may think. The Persona is one’s method of hiding their deeper individuality and personhood, the means for one to maintain social relations. 

Anima/Animus: In the past used in reference to one’s soul, the Anima and Animus are a pair of Jungian archetypes. Anima and Animus are noted as the aspects of the opposite sex within one’s mind, though this is not the only interpretation; Anima and Animus are best understood as the bridges between the conscious and unconscious, informed by their opposite natures. It is more useful to treat it as all persons having both Anima and Animus, rather than simply one, as they are the contrasting nature to one’s outer mind, and reflective of their perception towards others.

Individuation: The process of recognition, integration, and understanding of the various aspects of one’s self to be identified as distinct as an individual such as the Anima/Animus, Shadow, id, Persona, and ego. 

Now, please permit me to talk about Psychology because I like doing so and it is somewhat relevant at the current moment.

The Work has in more recent times been applied to the concept of the self, most notably by Psychoanalyst Carl Jung, likening the Self to The Stone, and the process of individuation and ego development to The Great Work.

Nigredo remains as the concept of a decomposition, the breaking down of one’s complacent unawareness of their own Shadow, and of their Persona.

The first step is the mentioned disintegration of the Persona, the uncomfortability of being face to face with the world no longer wearing the mask that hides your self, able to see and display all of your traits.

This leads to the confrontation with one’s shadow, the uncomfortable nature of seeing one’s flaws and perceived negative traits as wholly theirs. In other words, this is a disintegration of an internal mask towards one’s own Shadow, the Persona no longer hides the self, neither does it the flaws.

Albedo continues from this point, the newfound recognition of the flaws in the “matter” that is the self able to be separated, purified; Unwanted and unuseful traits may be discarded, an overzealous mind, a reinforced perception of others, each able to be separated from the Matter that is the mind.

Citrinitas arises as a product of the attempted removal undergone in Albedo; through the wrestling and attempted removal of an aspect of your Self, through the lack of identification with this aspect, arises the Mana Personality archetype, an attempted balancing figure of greater presence than the Anima, akin to the ego that it attempts to manage various aspects within the conscious and unconscious self.

Through this removal of the distinction between the shadow and ego, comes the possibility of unification and thus solving one’s inner conflict. Iosis.

Definitions and distinctions between various forms arise due to their perceived separations; only a being that has been divided from the chaos it started as is able to rejoin.

In a past project, I discussed this as well, as am I going to when I release my project on The Magnus Archives in whole; In an attempt to only praise or see one aspect of the greater whole, it fragments. It does not break, but shatters, divisions not strictly ordered and each shard still a part of this wholeness in its separation. 

You must first identify differences in order to compare aspects, to state that all aspects of a concept exist as a single homogenous entity, lacking differentiation, removes your ability to discuss the concept as a whole. 

I mean, you could see them all as just one thing, I guess, but it would be pretty much meaningless, y’know, like… like trying to describe a… shirt by talking about the concept of colour.

The Magnus Archives:

I have tried to foreshadow as heavily as possible where I am going with this concept;

We know that the Magnus Protocol is centered around alchemy, and that the enti(ties) left the original universe at the ending of Magnus Archives.

We know in the last episode of Archives that:

The thing that was fear felt itself began to tear, to crack and fracture along a thousand unseen fault lines. It bled and warped and multiplied, and could no longer see itself as once it did. It could never be whole again.

It saw itself. It saw itself and could no longer recognise these disparate fragments as its own. It could not understand, the being that was fear, as primal and eternal a being it was, it could simply seek to know that it could be separated from these unwanted traits. 

The emergence of human minds, minds to think, minds to suffer and truly understand it. This is when fear fractured. 

After was a state of decay, of unwoven strands and cracked stone as the being separated, as it became aware of its natures.

Then was a state of separation, these splinters of reality wishing to separate, to no longer be what it was, to be distinct and “clean” from these opposing, unwanted ideas. 

In this state of disunity came forth the wisest among them, the only one that could truly see them all to be the same, while being another unwoven thread in what was once it. 

The spider wished to save its kin–Its-self–and guided each scattered fragment elsewhere. 

Black. White. Yellow.

Still incomplete, this Magnus Opus never fulfilled in the Archives, the spider to lead them to freedom. The spider to be seen nowhere so far in the Protocols.

[technically-human]

You're so good at writing Robotnik! Whenever I read your comics I can hear it in his voice 😂 how do you do it? 💕💕💕 (Sorry if I've asked this already)

After how much I struggled to write that Robotnik fic, to see people think I'm good at writing him is a relief, so thank you.

I do have a few rules I try to follow when writing him specifically, but sometimes I draw a comic simply because my brain keeps repeating a specific dialogue in his voice and I need to get rid of it before it drives me to madness.

Basically!

1) this man is not constantly angry. I know it's easy to fall for this trap but you must fight it. He actually doesn't spend a lot of canon time being angry, even when he should. This is a kid's franchise after all, and angry adults are pretty scary. As much as he's the villain, Robotnik is not meant to be scary. He's still very EXPLOSIVE. He will shout a lot, and he's always frowning and he seems to always be one step away from anger, but he doesn't cross that line very often. I can't even say he's grumpy, because

2) Robotnik is basically a kid with a very extensive vocabulary. I'm not trying to disrespect Eggman here, but he throws tantrums, he insults people just because, his mood changes from one moment to the other, his emotions are BIG. I look at my 4 year old niece and I wonder if she's being possessed by the ghost of Ivo or if she's just being a normal kid.

3) he's not very self aware. He thinks he's the smartest, coolest, most impressive kid in this playground, and that results in him saying and doing very weird and ridiculous stuff with full confidence. If other people look at him funny, well, that's just because they don't understand his brilliance.

4) think of this as a game. If you want to present Robotnik with a Serious and Complicated thing and you don't know how he'd react, assume that this man is roleplaying his way out of it. He doesn't fully grasp that other people could have any value whatsoever, so he can treat it all like a game. Oh, millions are going to die? This will be good for the plot, fun. This is one of the funniest rules to break, nothing like forcing a character who Doesn't Care to suddenly care very much.

5) Robotnik's one weakness is humans. Oh he can mostly understand them, on a surface level, we see this mostly in the deleted scenes when he praises Stone to manipulate him or when he makes the fundraiser. Or even back in the first movie, when he pretends to work for the power company. He's not good at it but he THINKS he can play the part of a normal, well adjusted individual. This is very funny to me, but it's also important to remember because it means he's not above playing nice to get what he wants.

6) Robotnik doesn't say what he means, he implies it. I make him say "that's not how this works anymore" instead of "I won't leave you behind again" I make him say "no dying!" instead of "I don't want you to leave me" and I make him say "what's my full name?" Instead of "you're the only person I would ever want to hear my name from" and because I'm a bit of a romantic, most of the time, Stone gets it. But Robotnik doesn't expect him to, which is the only reason he dares to say it.

All of that is very nice, but sometimes it means I'm over here like "Come on, Rob, just say this one thing so the story can progress. Just one thing" and he replies "nu-uh, OOC + cringe + you suck, try something else" and I suffer

[ashblooddragons]

The Red Queen (Chapter 17/?)

Series Masterlist

116 ac

Daemons pov

I storm into my tent after beating that messenger. 

My brother thinks he can kick me out of his court, and as soon as glory is on the horizon take what I earned? My glory? No, I'll make a fool of him. I think as I throw my helmet onto my bed where a little squeak comes. 

I turn to see the whore I brought to my bed last night still there. She isn't what I usually go for with her freckled skin and flaming orange hair. But when you're on a battlefield you don't get too choosy with a willing cunt.

“What are you still doing here?” I ask in an annoyed tone which makes her eyes go big.

“I-I was asleep.” She says quickly as she reaches for her loose fitting linen dress. 

I take in the style of dress and remember she isn't a whore but one of the lords personal maids. 

Same difference. I think as I turn away from her as she continues to apologize and clumsily puts her clothes back on. 

“Just go, I don't have time for this.” I hiss which makes her quickly scurry out of the tent with one final sorry leaving her lips. 

I look down at my battle plan and sigh in defeat. 

It truly is a suicide mission. 

I sit there for a while calculating what needs to be done and what doesn't when someone calls for me from outside my tent. 

“A letter for you, my Prince.” The boy says and I can't help but roll my eyes. 

“Yes I am well aware.” I respond in a tone I know has this boy shaking in his little boots. 

But strangely he stays. “I think you'll want  to see this one, my Prince. It's from the Princess.” 

I freeze, turning to look back at the boy who holds a scroll. 

“Which one?” I ask even though I already know. 

“Only one of them sends you letters regularly at that.” He says holding it out for me. 

I snatch it from him waving him away as I look down at the seal. 

It's yours. You had gotten a wax seal at some point, most likely because my brother was tired of you asking to use his. It's the Targaryen symbol, but you never use red or black, always pink or purple, sometimes even white. 

Never did like our harsh colors. I think with a smile as I move over to my desk, setting your letter down. 

I then sit down and open a drawer where I keep each and every one of your letters. They are one of the only things that keep me going, but also one of the things that gives me the most grief. For with each letter I see you grow, mature, but I can't see you do it, only through your words. 

I grab your first letter quickly, it's so worn down from how often I open and close it but I don't care. It's important. 

I open it with care making sure the now flimsy paper doesn't tear and read your scribbled words. 

Dear Kepus

I miss you. A lot. Papa doesn't talk to me anymore, not even at super. Nyra says mean things. Like how I'm not needed here. Why doesn't she love me? Did I do something bad? Why did Papa make you leave? Why won't you come back? I have so many questions but no one wants to answer them. 

Papa says I'm gonna be heir. That it's important that I am. But I don't want to be heir. I want to be me. 

I miss you. Please write back soon. 

I always have to push back tears when I read this. You were so young, so confused. But it also always brings a smile to my face seeing your scribbled writing and the random drops of ink as you learned how to use a quill. 

I reach for another letter, one that always seems to make my blood boil. 

Dear Kepus

Aegon's one today, he's adorable. Papa has a large feast planned to celebrate him. There will be jesters, actors, and some people called acrobats. It's suppose to be lots of fun. 

I requested a new dress for it, Papa said yes. But I'm confused, all the fabrics are red or black. I had asked for a pink or purple dress. When I asked Papa he said I have to wear our house colors now. So I make us look strong and united. I'm not sure how a dress will do this but he seems sure it will. 

What do you think? Is a red dress really going to change so much over a purple one? 

I know you don't like me asking, but I need to know. How is the war going? Are you alright? You're not hurt or injured are you? I'm so worried about you I have a hard time sleeping, especially when Papa’s council talks about how horrible it's going. 

Please say you're alright. And tell the truth this time, because I know your shoulder got hurt. Papa got a letter from Lord Corlys, Laena’s Papa. It said your chest was burned, bad. That you almost died because of the injury. So no lying, didn't anyone teach you that's rude? 

I miss you, please write soon. 

I sigh when I finish the letter. I always felt like this was the beginning of Viserys' changes of you. It didn't take long for that day on for you to always get a new red dress. It broke my heart because though I always thought red was your color you never cared for it much. Preferring pink, purple, blue, even yellow over our house colors. 

He's trying to make you into what he wants you to be, and it infuriates me. But what kills me is that you know of my pain. I swore I would come back, I could only imagine the fear you felt in that moment. Perhaps even the betrayal. 

And with that thought I break the wax seal and slowly open your latest letter.

Dear Kepus

I'm ten now, and there was a huge celebration. I got to wear a white dress with red Myrish lace. Ali said I looked ethereal and Father said I looked lovely. There were a lot of people there, most I didn't know but they said nice things and gave gifts. But sadly I didn't get the one I wanted. My book about Daenys is falling apart. The maesters say I should just get a new one. But I don't know where you got this one, and neither does Father. He says I don't need the pictures but I love them. Do you think you could tell me where you got the book? I just want to read my favorite story again. 

Aegon is three, he's always running. Father says that's because he's a boy, but I think it's just because he's Aegon. He's been sad though, his egg hasn't hatched. Rhaenyra gave it from Syrax's clutch but for some reason it just won't hatch. Maybe when you get back you can look at it and see why. 

Have I told you about Helaena? She's so cute! She has chubby cheeks, silver hair, and violet eyes. They look so different compared to Aegon's periwinkle ones. She likes quiet though, and Aegon likes to be loud. So she gets startled a lot, but we're trying to explain that he needs to be calmer around Helaena. It's a slow process though because so used to being as loud as he wants. It's a big change for him.

Stormchaser laid another clutch, but they were all stone again. I don't know why, when she and Caraxes were together they were all perfect. But now they are all stone and she's so sad. It hurts seeing her so sad without Caraxes. 

One last thing, Father wants to reinstate me as heir. But he wants you here when he does it. So he said he's bringing tropes to help you. Be nice to them, they're just trying to help. 

I miss you, come home soon.

I sigh and look down thinking over each word. I can't help but chuckle about your book. You had always loved Daenys, if people thought Rhaenyra loved Visenya they haven't seen nor heard you talk about Daenys the Dreamer.

She is your idol, in your words. She saved us so we can be here today. I can't remember how many spats you and Rhaenyra have had over who was more important in the Targaryen family. But at the end of the day, I have to agree with you. If it weren't for Daenys our house would be ash in the wind never to be heard of again like so many other Valyrian houses. 

But something I've noticed is how in each letter since you've gotten your younger siblings, you always want to talk about them. You truly are just an excited big sister wanting to show off her younger siblings. 

Though the thing that hurts most is watching you grow only through your writing. How things used to be so misspelled and scratchy upon the paper is now refined and perfectly spelled. It hurts not knowing how you look now and only having the frail little girl who screamed for me to come back to remember as my last memory of your face. 

But three things stuck out to me, your dragon hasn't been laying viable eggs ever since I and Caraxes left. And then there is the fact your Father is trying to use you to make me behave. And sadly it's working  But the thing that sticks out the most is your last line. 

I miss you, come home soon. 

You have never sent this, it was always write soon, never come home. And for some reason, that one line makes me stand up and look at the battle plan one last time. 

It isn't the worst plan I've seen. I think before walking out of my tent towards Lord Corlys to get our troops moving to their correct places. 

Your pov

I sit on the settee holding Helaena. She looks adorable with her chubby cheeks and dark violet eyes that almost look like wine. 

“She's so quiet. I thought she would do more.” Aegon says from beside me. He looks down at her with curiosity and apprehension because when he plays she usually starts crying. 

I turn to look at him as he assesses Helaena with a wary look. 

“You were like this, you just screamed more.” I tease which makes him gasp with his eyes wide and a scowl on his lips making it very clear his dislike of my words. 

“I did not!” He yells but thankfully it doesn't startle Helaena this time. 

“Well do you remember what you were like, my Love?” Ali asks from her spot in front of her vanity. Her maids braid her hair in intricate designs. 

Something fit for a Queen. The words Father always says each time he watches my maids braid mine. He says they have to look perfect or else it will give or house judgment. I'm not sure how hair or dresses changes so much in the way the court looks at our house but Father is insistent. 

“Well, no, but I don't scream.” Aegon says animatedly. This time a whimper comes from Helaena at his raised voice. 

“Of course you don't.” Ali says with a teasing grin before standing up and walking towards us. She takes one look at Helaena's scrunched up face and reaches down to pick her up. “And what have I said about keeping your voice down while Helaena sleeps?” 

Aegon looks down at the gentle reminder. “To try and be calm. Sorry Mama, I really am trying.” He says as his lower lip wobbles. 

“I know you are, and you're doing so well. I know it's hard to real in all your joy.” She says as she strokes her fingers through his hair calming him down. 

He looks up with a pout while nodding his head. “Yeah.” Is all he says as he leans into Ali's touch. 

I look up at her taking in her dress that is black with a red bodice and long red sleeves. She looks beautiful in it, but it doesn't feel like it was made for her.

I then look down at my dress that is a deep scarlet with gold embroidery of flowers along the sleeves and bodice. It's also a very beautiful dress, but just like Ali's it just isn't me. 

“Your sister sent a raven, she says there has yet to be a match made and that she is…enjoying this trip. She should be at Storms End now as we speak.” Ali says and I can tell she changed a lot of words from what Rhaenyra actually sent. 

“I'm glad she's enjoying it.” Is all I say before turning to look at the books I need to study. 

Can't hold Helaena forever, you have to get this done. I think before picking up the book on how to sit on the throne properly. I never realized there were so many ways to do this wrong, but supposedly Maester Huebert does. 

“Has your Uncle sent anything back yet?” Ali says as she tries and calms Helaena down after a maid accidentally dropped a chamber pot. Thankfully it was clean. 

“No, not yet, though it usually takes a bit because of the war.” I say with a frown. It's been two weeks since I sent my raven. I know I should be patient but the last time he took this long he got hurt. And some part of me worries if he is even alive.

No you would know if he died, you would know. I think with urgency hoping to throw that awful thought out of my mind for good. 

Just as I think this a resounding screech reaches my ears. 

I know that sounds. I think clambering towards the window to see if my kind is playing tricks on me or not. 

“What's that long red thing?” I hear Aegon say and I know that what I'm seeing is true. 

“He's back.” I whisper to myself before turning to Ali who whispers to her maids. 

“I am needed in the throne room, you three stay here. Though your Father may wish for you to come as well but as of now stay here and watch after your siblings and study.” She says before walking out of her chambers.

I have to force myself to not run after her. Because I know why she made me stay. Just because Caraxes is back, doesn't mean Kepus is. And she doesn't want me to get hurt hoping he's back. 

So instead I turn towards Aegon who stares at the door confused and hold a hand out for him. 

“Why don't you practice your letters while I study? It could be fun.” I suggest and I can tell he doesn't like the idea but he nods anyways taking my hand as we walk back to the settee. 

Please be back, please be alive. I pray hoping that whatever gods are out there hear me and make my prayers come true. 

I feel tense as I walk towards the royal gardens. I can't help but try and remember what he looked like but all I get is hazy images and it hurts not knowing what he looked like. I dare not even try and remember what Mama looked like, for I know it will only shatter my heart completely. 

I look down at my bracelet taking in the pearls and rubies. I then fiddle with my necklace trying to see if these items will make any memories of his face rise up. But it is futile, it's been too long since I've seen his face to know exactly what he looked like. 

So instead I decide to stand straight and walk into the gardens as was my Father's request. 

When I do I notice all the Lords and Ladies whispering and glancing towards Ali, Father, someone who I know has to be Rhaenyra but that can't be right because she's supposed to be at Storms End, and a man who in the deepest parts of my soul I know is my Kepus. 

I don't hesitate to walk towards them, only catching the end of Father's jest. 

“You were always Mother’s favorite, she was wild and free and sadly I was no great warrior.” 

I go to speak but Rhaenyra beats me to it. 

“It's wonderful to see you Uncle.” 

I frown at the way she looks at him, the way her eyes flutter and she gently bites her lip before releasing it. 

I may be young but I know she is trying to flirt or seduce Kepus. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. But what I also notice is how tense the atmosphere becomes with just those simple words. 

She wasn't supposed to be back, Father must be livid. I think, eyeing him and quickly notice the scowl that overtakes his usually calm and collected features. 

“Thank you Niece.” He says with a tight smile before he turns and looks down at me. 

I freeze, not sure how to start the conversation. It's been so long that I have only been able to hear his words through ravens that now that I may actually talk to him the words are missing. 

“Would you like to see the tapestries? We have just received some from Myr.” Ali says with a pinched smile obviously not liking how much wine Father has drunk already. 

I smile excited to show him my favorites when Father bursts out laughing.

“Would you like to see them? Would you?” He asks in an obvious jesting tone. “He has no interest in such things.” He says with a dismissive wave. 

“I would like to see them.” Rhaenyra says out of nowhere staring at Father with that look that usually means she wants to start an argument. 

“Oh well then deprive yourself.” Father says waving her off. 

I've never seen nor heard him speak to Rhaenyra like this so I'm shocked, frozen in place hoping if I do not speak or move I will not be the object of their wrath next. 

Thankfully Rhaenyra walks away with a huff sitting on a bench as she inspects her nails. 

“Do not worry, your Father is only a bit…disoriented. He does not mean his harsh words.” Ali says, noticing my tense shoulders before she decides to walk over to Rhaenyra. 

And once I'm alone between my obviously drunk Father, and my Kepus who I haven't spoken to in years. Well it is an easy choice to try and find Laena and Nymeria. 

So with a quick curtsy I turn and walk towards the food table where Laena and Nymeria seem to be bickering. 

“Lemon cake is obviously the better choice.” Nymeria says before biting into one with a triumphant smirk. 

“Please, raspberry crumble is the best.” Laena responds before taking a bite of her sweet treat. 

I watch them stare each other down before clearing my throat and making them gasp and turn to face me before they quickly relax. 

“Which do you think is better!” They say at the same time only ti turn to the other and glare once more.

I stop for a second before moving forward and picking up a honey cake. 

“I much prefer the honey cakes.” I say, eyeing them as I take a bite letting the sweet flavor of honey and sugar fill my pallet. “Maybe instead of fighting over which is the best, we all just agree we like different things?” I suggest which seems to work until Nymeria whispers to herself and the argument starts up again. 

I look down and sigh in annoyance, this is not what I was hoping for when I wanted to escape the tension of my family. 

So just as quickly as I sought them out, I walked away for some solitude. Though I never am truly alone, for the clank of armor follows after me and I know who it is. 

I take a seat on a bench looking at the weirwood tree wondering how best to approach Kepus. When I hear Ssr Criston finally stop behind me I turn to look up at him. 

“Why is it so hard to talk to him? We sent letters for all those years, so why can't I speak to him?” I ask as tears rim my eyes that I fight to push down. 

An heir cannot look weak. I think wiping at my eyes fervently. 

He sighs with a look that almost seems pained. Like seeing me so hurt and confused hurts him. But why would it? It isn't him that is feeling this way. 

“Mayhaps because of the letters.” He says with a look of pity. 

Do not pity me, that means I'm weak and Father will hate me more. I think as I mull over his words. 

“What do you mean?” 

He looks up in thought before letting out a long sigh. “You didn't have to face him when you spoke your words. You didn't even need to speak them. You write all your thoughts down and send them to him. You didn't need to worry about his reaction because he wasn't in front of you.” He says before looking down at me again. “That is at least my guess, Your Grace.” 

I think over his words before looking at my Kepus who seems to he walking towards me. 

“Thank you, Ser Criston. You may leave me.” 

He gives a quick bow before walking a few paces away to give me and my Kepus privacy. 

“I was wondering where you had gone.” I hear him say. I remember that voice, the teasing lilt after each word. The way it always made me feel safe even now. 

But yet again no words leave me, I only look up at him fighting tears that demand to fall. 

Instead of speaking of my obvious hurt he sits next to me, warping an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to his chest. And without thought, without caring, I let all my pain, worry, and confusion out. 

He rubs my back gently telling me to ‘let it all out’. I know that if Father sees me in this state there will be more lessons on how to act among Lords and Ladies. But I don't care, because for the first time in a long time I feel completely and utterly safe. 

I don't know how long I cried, but what I do know is by the time I'm done I feel like all the weight has left my shoulders and I can finally breathe again. So I lift my head finding a clear wet spot on his jerkin and sit straight against the back of the bench once more. 

“I'm sorry.” I whisper looking down at my hands as I chew at my lip. 

“And what do you have to be sorry for?” He asks as he puts his forefinger under my chin to force me to look at him. 

I stop letting myself take in his features once more. 

He has a strong jaw that seems tense right now. High cheekbones, and his long straight nose. His hair is the same silver blonde as I remember, only it's shorter. But it's his eyes that I know, his eyes that I have always been able to remember. Those deep lilacs that always seem to have mischief in them as well as something darker, something dangerous. But that is never shown towards me and I never understood why. 

I'm brought back by the tapping of his finger on my chin. He seems almost amused which leads me to believe he caught me inspecting his features. 

“I ruined your jerkin.” I finally say which only makes him throw his head back laughing. “What's so funny?” I ask, confusion washing over my face. 

“I don't care about the jerkin, ñuha riña. What I'm more worried about is you.” He says and I can't help the way my heart squeezes in joy when he uses my nickname. 

“I'm fine.” I say but I can tell he knows it's a lie, I mean I did just sob into his chest so I can't blame him. 

He hums before picking something up from beside him. It is only now that I realize he was carrying something. 

“I heard you were in need of this. And who would I be if I didn't bring it to you?” and there in his James is a new copy of the story of Daenys the Dreamer and her brother husband Gaemon. 

“You found it.” I say in awe as I take it from him feeling the soft leather as I open the book to find all the same paintings and pictures that were in my old one. 

“Well you did ask me to.” He says in his teasing tone. 

“No, I asked you to tell me where to get it.” I correct with a cheeky grin. 

This makes him chuckle and I can't help but smile when his eyes crinkle in the way that always means he is happy. 

“Well you're welcome nonetheless.” 

I giggle flipping through the pages reading some of my favorite passages. We sit like this for a while, in silence. Not the kind where you feel stiff and like you can't breathe, the kind where you feel safe and loved. 

That is until I look up at him again and find him reading the book over my shoulder. 

“If you want to read it, get one yourself.” I scold holding the book to my chest. 

He raises a brow in shock giving me a playful smirk. 

“I'm sorry, you're right I will read one I paid for.” He says before taking the book back and starts reading it. 

“Hey!” I yell trying to reach for it but he holds it just out of my reach. 

“I'm doing what you told me to do, ñuha riña.” He says with what I've heard would be called a shit eating grin. 

“Please.” Is all I say holding my hands out for my book. I'm not sure if it will work until I look up at him and he seems so…soft. Like he can't say no to me in this moment. It's a strange feeling after so many years of having cold looks from everyone but Ali and my younger siblings. 

“Fine, but you better let me borrow it.” He says and I can't help but giggle because for some reason I know I will more than likely be reading it with him. 

“Agreed.” I hold my hand out for him to shake and he does before bending down to kiss my knuckles. 

The rest of the afternoon we spend reading or he's making me tell stories about the times when he was away. Like the first time I got to hold Aegon, or how many times have me and Laena almost given our parents heart attacks while flying. 

“Well it sounds like a lot happened while I was gone.” He says almost mournfully. And his face is grief stricken. I can't help but frown when I see it, he didn't want to leave. 

I can't help but kick myself for all the times I thought he left because he was tired of us. 

I decide to lean into him and hug him as tight as I can. “I missed you.” I say and for some reason he tenses at my words. Almost as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

I feel his arms wrap around mine as he kisses the crown of my head. “I missed you as well, ñuha riña.” 

But for some reason my mind decided to turn my head and I noticed Rhaenyra with her guard Ser Daniel Karstark. I frown at the way they look at each other. 

Rhaenyra is doing that eye thing again and he is brushing the hair from her shoulder. It looks like they are courting but that can't be right he's a Kingsguard. They can't marry anyone. 

But even though I know this, and I know they know this. I can't help but wonder if they care.

Special thanks to my bestie @sugutoad for making the header for this fiction! I swear I'd be lost without you girly!

TAGLIST: @sugutoad @ilikefelines @classicsimpforaaronwarner @themoonlitquill @technicallylegendaryenemy @thelastemzy @sachaa-ff @mmogurl @athzhowakar

[contritecactite]

Since @fandomtrumpshate starts up again soon, I thought I would babble a bit about my experience last year! Specifically, let's chat about podficcing. A nice and arbitrary 9 reasons to do the thing below the cut!

Thing 1: It's so much fun! I am bouncing up and down at the prospect of doing it again. In fact, I am planning to offer a slot for any fandom this year rather than just ones I'm familiar with!

Thing 2: Nobody was bothered by how amateurish my readings are, how basic my recordings were, or by the extra whistle and sibilance and mouth sounds that sneaked in. Nobody was annoyed that I don't do accents or intense voicework/character voices. It's something I want to improve in the future, but it's really not necessary—reading a fanwork aloud is first and foremost about making it accessible in a new format. Anything else is just icing!

Thing 3: People who want their works read are going to be communicative! The folks I worked with last year were happy to go back and forth until we decided which works were the best fit for me, and they were happy to answer my questions about how to read/interpret certain lines, etc. It was so much fun to toss around idea with them (even if we didn't end up using them all)!

Thing 4: This is a zero-entry-cost hobby (assuming you already have a device of some sort to read fic in the first place). You don't need fancy equipment and software. You can get the job done with an inbuilt audio recording app on your phone, and if you're in a quiet and non-echoey place, it can sound just as good as something made with a dedicated mic and such. Don't let "but I don't have a recording space" hold you back! Sit in your favorite chair and put your phone by your face while you read me a story. That's really all you gotta do.

Thing 5: In direct contrast... it is a good excuse to dip a toe into gear and software. There are lots of fairly cheap suitable microphones, and Audacity is free. I recorded one short fic via three different methods just to troubleshoot for fun!

Thing 6: You don't have to get it right the first time! (Or second or third or...) I save outtakes (profanity warning!) for the creators whose work I read. Sometimes a cat walked in and told me a mournful tale at top volume. Sometimes the neighbors turned on a leaf blower. You can even get silly with it on purpose if you need to warm yourself up! I do a lot of yelling "this is so silly and I am so embarrassed!" into the mic before I try a serious read.

Thing 7: You get to spend so much time with a work and its characters! You're gonna read that thing so many times to make decisions and to alert yourself to what's coming next. You'll be able to recite it around a campfire and it'll feel cozy and familiar (or, you know, extra painful if it's heavily angsty).

Thing 8: If you play things back and tweak them as often as I did, it goes a long way toward getting past hating the sound of your own voice or feeling disconnected from recordings of yourself. I've always been so so shy and hesitant to speak aloud in real-life conversations. I won't claim that I'm completely over any of those things, but spending time getting familiar with what I sound like in an objective, task-oriented setting has helped me learn to listen for my own vocal cues when I'm feeling too overwhelmed to process other kinds of feedback. I'm much more aware of what my uncertainty sounds like, for example, and am better able to cover for it now.

Thing 9: If you're also a writer as I am, it helps you look at your own writing through a new lens! I have been known to write 50+-word sentences, but now I (sometimes) stop to consider the punctuation breaks. How readable is this paragraph? Where would I take a breath if I were reading? Where would the emphasis naturally end up and how do I change that of it's not what I wanted?

I think people who are Better At Things might not necessarily have all the same experiences I shared here, but personally, I'm grateful for the opportunity, and I look forward to doing it again!

Here are the works I read for FTH last year:

Evil Plans by Sodium_Azide

The Night The World Didn't End by Aethelflaed

and the one that belongs to the earlier outtakes:

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear by my dear friend QuothTheMaiden, who still seems to like me just fine even though there's a terrible whine behind the whole thing (this was the troubleshooting fic btw. Software updated and defaulted to the wrong device, but I picked the better read over the better sound quality in the end).

[calexo]

HI HELLOO YOUR WRITING IS SO <333

may i request a teasing/(slightly? one-sided) rivalry mc with qiu + tama ?? :]

MMMMM YES DINNER now I'm not sure to whose side we're referring to by one sided so I'm gonna say based on the situation or smth Idk how else to say it

extra note/s: I've never ever tried turning down/using negative dialogues towards Tamarack so I can't say much T T I take all my info from the fandom wiki hahah. This is also a bit shorter than my last TT TT I'm a bit focused on onlf yn hshshsh

more below the cut !!

✧ As seen in step 1, AUTUMN is kinda already teasing towards MC, so it really isn't anything new.

In the game, he isn't at all bothered by any rude responses. Whether or not you're serious, his ego remains unscathed.

✧ Sometimes, he might tick you off. Completely unintentional though. Tell him and he'll apologize immediately. Whether or not you do, you will notice him toning it down or at least indicating what he does and doesn't mean. He picks up on the little things, so nothing goes unnoticed.

✧ As for rivalry... T T I read somewhere in Vianca's profile on the wiki that Qiu doesn't realize she considers them a rival and I'm not sure if he'd notice it.

If it's regarding his popularity, then he has no problem with it at all. If anything, he's glad you're making friends. Even more so when you easily get along with Baxter and Ren.

So basically, you see it as rivalry while he sees it as you getting comfortable with everyone.

✧ Meanwhile with TAMARACK, she doesn't react that much to teasing. I mean, she responds as bluntly as ever so you can't exactly tell if she can tell.

✧ The closest to a negative dialogue I've ever chose with her was "I don't think you're pretty" in step 1 in which she replies with "I think you are"

And this leads me to think that she'd reply similarly in other cases.

Some say it's a killjoy, but you two treat it as an inside joke. It's just something you two understand.

GUYS I'M SORRY I CAN NEVER BE MEAN TO TAM I LOVE HER TM

✧ As for rivalry, the only scenario I can think of would be when you're playing.

It's all fun in games; she takes it very seriously when playing against you, to say the least.

✧ AUTUMN by fourteen is really no different. Any teasing between you two as friends is like routine. Unless you come up with something like qiu-liet, that is.

Still, they are unbothered whether or not you're serious with your comments. But unlike then, they'll instead brush it off or follow with sarcasm rather than teasing.

✧ Rivalry?? Now I don't think they'd bother to compete, especially if it's regarding their popularity. You can have it, they'd think.

But it's pretty much the same for every case. Whether or not they're aware of you seeing them as a rival, they wouldn't hold you back or try and go against you.

The thing is, if you can't keep up then it wouldn't be their problem.

✧ As for TAMARACK, she too has gotten used to your teasing. That's if it's been a thing between you two long before.

You two came up with inside jokes, silly nicknames and even code names for people you may dislike.

✧ Rivalry I think could apply to if you both do band? Unlike before, she wouldn't go against you whether or not she knew how you saw her. In fact, she'd like if you two practiced together<3

Her kindness actually makes you forget that you see her as a competition. They could never make me dislike you, Tam ☹️

[dummie-writes]

the party walkers

self insert .✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* school bus graveyard

words: 2.21k

next part: a rescue mission

note: hot minute, hey guys, this is my first time writing for school bus graveyard! currently, it's probably my favorite webtoon (that being said, all my other favorites are on hiatus, so, yk. that's that.) if you followed me for genshin one shots, I just wanna let you know I'm NOT gonna stop writing them, permanently at least. I haven't been able to fixate on genshin for a bit because the app is too big for my phone and trying to play on my computer kills me inside. hope you enjoy, also things prooobably aren't gonna be perfect, lol, I'm going off memory of the first chapter/s

content: self insert for sbc, uh, go read that first, I don't think I'll end up including anything (at least, not here) that needs extra trigger warnings. long term, it's a tyler x reader, maybe, idk, but regardless I don't plan on starting that for a bit.

i. a demon inside of my skin

you hadn't been in "the room where it happened", so to speak. actually, you didn't know what everyone else was dealing with for about a week after savannah, because you thought you were having batshit crazy nightmares! your hotel room was a good bit further away from everyone else's that first night, and after making a run for it into a room and barricading yourself in, you thought that would be the end of it. everyone did, didn't they?

and then, you went home. warm bed, soft blanket, box fan running in the background while you scrolled through various social media apps. it was nearing midnight, but that wasn't new for you. the early morning hours were your friend, the moon a sibling by your teenage years. not unique, sure, but that was the reality of that situation. a small shiver tickles your spine as you remember the night mare last night brought you, your fingertips ghosting the spot on your knuckle where you had banged it and broken your finger in that dream. it was even sore when you woke up. sometimes, nightmares were like that though. sometimes people woke up gasping for air after drowning in their sleep, or craving cigars after being a smoker in their dreams. sore knuckles weren't that far off.

it was like a flash; one moment, you were watching a college aged blonde talk about the type of oils she used for her long, silky, soft hair, and the next, the sky from out your window was a bleeding carmine. there was a loud silence, no wind, no rain, no box fan or phone.

then, again, you heard it. click, click, click. chatter, chatter, chatter. okay. cool. another nightmare. fun and fantastic.

shooting out of your sheets, your index finger throbbed, sparing a second and glancing at it revealed purple spots upon green bruises splotched along your hand. curling your finger inward hurt, but was possible. making a fist around your blanket, you threw it as hard as possible off of you, hoping to distract whatever was making the noise. it did not have the desired affect, and flew a couple feet before expanding and landing softly on the floor. that didn't matter, you were already on your feet and they were thudding to your door before you were aware of what was going on, scrambling on the carpet of your bedroom as you heard skitter like movements from where your eyes couldn't catch the gray, uncanny human-like figure making its way toward you on all fours. it was fast. way, way too fast. the undignified squeal you released as you yanked open your door turned into a gravelly scream of both terror and agony when you slid through, slamming the door shut before you, a blackened finger along with it. it didn't fall to the floor, but instead was hanging painfully out of your back, right under your shoulder blade. like a when a plank of wood splinters, but has enough fibers to hang off and out of the main piece and bobs back and forth. except you're not a piece of wood, and you have to not scream right now.

you feel nausea drinking its way into your chest, but adrenaline pushes it to a back burner as a need to survive pulses in your brain. grabbing a random shoe, a picture frame from off the wall, and a small ball which were left on the floor earlier, you throw them in another direction and hope it sounds enough like footsteps that when you get into the bathroom, whatever that thing is doesn't try to follow you in there.

the balls of your feet aren't much quieter than your whole foot, but they'll have to do as you nearly slam the bathroom door, stop yourself in the knick of time to edge it closed instead, and lock it. for the first time in your entire life, you internally thank your parents that you didn't get that house with the skylight in the bathroom.

now, you hold your breath. the creaking of the floors beneath your cheap carpet tells you that that thing, that monster, that whatever-it-is, is passing by. your fingers shake as you cover your mouth with one hand, the other cupping your nose as you try desperately to slow and quiet your breathing. unfortunately, the racing of your heart isn't helping, and neither is the recognition of that wound that craved up your back so nicely. again, your stomach turns. you don't have time to deal with that right now, even if you can feel blood dripping down your back and throbbing which matches your heartbeat.

click, click, thump, thump. the shadow from the light outside darkens, two fuzzy shadows before the door. silence. praying.

click, click. click. it slowly, slowly, drags its hideous feet away from the door.

you can't breathe for another minute, and the instant you do, it comes out as a heave. your eyes go wide as you scramble toward the bathtub, making it just in time to spill your guts. after emptying your stomach, you pull away with watery eyes and a raw throat, coughing a couple times. you feel a little bit better, as you usually do after throwing up, but that won't last. also, you need water, and that means looking in the mirror if you don't wanna be loud. but for right now, you just need to lay down for a moment. just breathe. you're so, so light headed. you had only just woken up, and this all felt so real. the pain in your hand and in your back. the scratchy stinging you feel up your esophagus. the exhaustion pawing under your eyes as you start to lean backward;

except, you can't, and when you try that, you only shoot straight up and nearly puke all over again. thankfully, this time, the finger actually falls out of your back.

"𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯."

you can reach the majority of the wound if you really reach. it won't be perfect, but you should be able to get it properly clean and bandaged with the first aid kit your family keeps in the bathroom. you don't really know how to clean a wound this big, though. will you need stitches? the only real way to know is to look at it, even if you aren't really ready to do so.

"𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴? 𝘪𝘧 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭."

the thought came to you before you even moved from your spot on the floor. oh, yeah. that's right. you're asleep.

...

huh. most dreams feel a little more, don't know. dreamy?? if this is a dream, candy is going to start raining from the sky right now.

right now. here.

𝘯𝘰𝘸, you think, looking up at the ceiling half heartedly. alright, if this was a nightmare, it was a really weird horrible one. and also, you'd rather not push your luck at this point. so, mirror it is. ignoring the pit of panic welling in your chest, you push yourself to your feet, and tip toe to the kitchen sink. you stare at the faucet, and then force your eyes upward. your hair is frazzled, and there are white specks along the corners of your mouth. and then, you turn around. your jaw tightens when you see the open wound, your nightshirt torn open and revealing tattered, aggressive flesh beneath it. that thing probably cut you to the bone. hopefully, because there is in fact a bone there, it didn't hit any organs. you can breathe fine, so your lung didn't seem all too punctured. it's just ugly. ugly and painful.

cleaning it is the first step, and you're just thankful that despite the fact that you stupidly, stupidly, stupidly dumped isopropyl alcohol onto it in hopes of doing so (for a second, before the burning, you felt a little uncomfortable. and then it hit, you nearly cracked your tooth from biting down so hard), it's over with.

a week later, you find yourself in class, rubbing sleepiness from your eyes. so, long story short, that wasn't a dream, and something is horribly wrong. you waking up to a long scab running down your shoulder blade told you that much. and things were about to get a lot worse. in the real world, that is.

"sir, please. they do literally nothing. they just sit there all spaced out, rubbing their eyes. it's like they aren't even trying for this project!" brandy, your classmate begs in a hushed tone. as annoying as the brunette could be at times, she wasn't wrong. a pang in your chest as you think of possibly making it so that the other members of your group protect fail because you are too tired to do your part. god, sorry brenda, you're too busy trying to huddle up in a bathroom all night and take care of a wound that isn't healing for some reason, all while praying that the thing that chased you in there and will probably kill you, doesn't murder you. but she's still not wrong. and it isn't like she knows that, because you have something seriously wrong with you. it's not her fault, and she shouldn't have to pay for you being crazy.

"mr. thomas," you quietly call, rubbing your elbow uncomfortably as you stare at the floor. you can see brandy pause from the corner of your eye, and you think there's even a sorry expression on her face. even if she was annoying, she clearly hadn't thought you heard that. and she had a right to be upset.

"I would like to change groups, if, um, possible."

there's a pause, and from your peripheral view, you can see your teacher and classmate motioning at each other, her probably trying to convince him to let you do so. a small thump, and then a sigh. "alright. I'm going to put you with ashlyn's group. "

as a redhead from across the room pops up and looks around, mr. thomas looks through a few pieces of paper, crossing something off with his pen. he didn't say it out loud, and frankly, he didn't have to. that was the group in the class that was also failing, so, you being in it wouldn't have much of an impact anyway. at least you wouldn't sink the whole ship all by yourself. was it smart, as a teacher? no. he probably should have put you with a tutor or something. looking up at mr. thomas as you nod and collect your things from your desk reveals an, in fact, apologetic eyed brandy. she mouths a "thank you", and you nod in return. you would drag your chair to their little group later, first, you should go introduce yourself, and hope they don't kick you out.

the bright blonde of the group catches you with his eyes before anyone else. you can hear him say something, and the rest of them stop talking and turn to look at you as you awkwardly walk over. their eyes are so piercing, it's making you uncomfortable.

"can we help you?" a brunette asks, tilting her head up to look at you. her tone carries no malice, just curiosity. makes you feel a little bit better.

"I'm so sorry to ask this, if you guys don't want me in your project I'll go ask if I can be alone or join another group or something, it's not a big deal. I'm having issues with my part of the project, and it's affecting everyone else's work in my group. so they were wondering if I could join in with you guys."

they all share a really weird look with each other, like they're talking telepathically or something. a tense moment passes, and two members speak up at the same time.

"yeah sure lol."

"fuck no."

"tyler! be nice! besides, we probably need someone who actually knows what's going on in this class!"

"didn't she just say she was having issues with her work? it's not like she's going to add much."

"to be fair, I don't think any of us are doing all too great on the work anyway."

you feel the need to clarify, mainly to get this over with. "I'm not really having trouble with the work. I'm just not doing it. I'm having sleeping issues, again, not a big deal if you don't want me to join."

they all stop, and look at you again. the redheaded one narrows her eyes, letting the braid she was messing with fall to her lap. her and the boy next to the brunette girl who asked you a question - actually, now that you're up close and looking at him, that looks like one of the boys on the baseball team. didn't she call him tyler? like tyler hernandez? huh. you didn't even realize you guys shared this class.

"what kind of nightmares have you been having?" the blonde asks, looking at who you're starting to assume is ashlyn. they have a staring contest of sorts while you start to answer. "oh, just weird ones. like, ones with monsters... and stuff..."

you didn't say anything about nightmares.

he looks at you again, a cat like grin on his face. "I think you should sit down. "

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

next part: a rescue mission

[nottakingresponsibility]

Welcome to the horrors, time to turn right.

"Hello there, I'll be posting out of my own free will, do whatever, don't expect me to be nice to you." [ooc introduction below the cut, triggers, tags, RULES! Cause apparently I have to have those?? etc. Be warned. It is a lot, however, at the very least the rules are required to read. If you don't want to check the tags, this is to minors specifically, block the #responsibilityisforgotten tag.]

OOC here!! Waves. This is pre-crash, by the way! He's already aware of the Jimmyverse. You guys did this. Also the owner of the @tulparsresponsiblenurse blog now, yay? About the mod! I am 18! Mainly go by he/him anyways, so this is fine! I'm not too great at socializing, but anyone is welcome to interact with me or Jimmy, it's always welcome!! Ocs and other fandoms included, of course! I can't guarantee I'll know anything about said fandom, but Jimmy won't know shit either so it works out, right? I do not support Jimmy's actions. I'm gonna make that clear here and now, I just enjoy his writing, and want to explore him as a character. He'll also be mean a lot, that's just how he is I fear. Obviously lots of swearing. Uh. I do that a lot. Hi. Also, JimCurl is the only ship I tolerate with Jimmy in it, and it will show up on this blog. I have a tag for it, don't worry! I know those men are awful for each other, and I would portray it as such. Even through Jimmy's twisted, unreliable perspective. I don't really have much of a DNI, other than the basic criteria. If you have to ask what that is, you probably shouldn't interact with me anyway. I highly encourage other blogs to interact with me!! It's really fun roleplaying and getting to know people. :] Roleplay wise, pretty much anything is on the table as long as everyone involved is having fun. I should let you know this, if I don't respond to you it's nothing personal!! I just genuinely don't know how sometimes :[. Also, I've been kind of inactive as of recent! Please be patient with me. If I may add, I do NOT roll with the 'oh Jimmy is STINKY!! And SMELLS bad and has BAD hygiene!!' insults or whatever. My version of Jimmy has mental health issues, and he struggles with taking care of himself. It's a projection from me, I also struggle with taking care of myself so it kind of annoys me when people antagonize that. Thanks for understanding! Just to make this clear as well cause someone asked before, minors are allowed on this blog, yes, but they need to stay away from anything suggestive, and if it's found out a minor has asked anything weird, they will be blocked for their safety. Triggers and warnings you can expect on this blog. Obviously, the basic Mouthwashing triggers first off, but there's more! Jimmy has backstory and lore, wow. Well, in my version of him anyway. By that I mean, you can expect other things such as: Child abuse, child neglect, abuse in general, just Jimmy being Jimmy, self harm, sui ideation, sui in general, self harm thoughts, derealization, obviously just violence all around, manipulation and such, bugs, s/a themes, emetophobia stuff, eating disorder implications, alcoholic themes, death, murder, body horror, blood, cannibalism, I'm not sure if it's needed yet, but sometimes things do get suggestive, so be warned about that, too. There's a lot of things that happen here that I don't have an exact warning for, things happen in roleplay you can't predict. Just be wary and cautious, I'll try to put a warning before I write anything like that. Most of this is just based on things that may happen to Jimmy in the future. I'll update this if I missed anything!! Stay safe :] RULES. That's it, click that. Also! Anon list! Click that as well, not required this time around though! My tags and what they all mean! General tags!

#responsibilityhateshim: Jimmy answering his asks! #responsibilitytolerateshim: Jimmy answering his asks, to a person that has shown up often, so a regular! #responsiplay: Roleplay threads, or at this point it's just in character reblogs. #responsible[crew member name]: Roleplay thread or in character reblog with a specific member of the Tulpar crew! Or, you know, Polle. #jimmysrunningagain: My ooc tag! When this tag is used, it means I'm talking, not Jimmy! I also use () around my words! #jimbobsresponsibility: The JimCurl tag, things with this have either heavy implications of, or direct JimCurl in them. #responsiblelore: Lore tag! Things important to Jimmy as a character, things that may help you torture him further. #responsibilitytalks: Just a general Jimmy talking about things or doing things tag, when it's not in reply to an ask and it's not a reblog. Often open to roleplays with them if you want, though! #writingresponsibly: Jimmy posts where he's writing in his journal instead of actually speaking! These posts will also have all the journal written text in purple! #responsibilityisforgotten: For suggestive and ...possibly worse! Things, if it ever is needed. So minors, and people uncomfortable with that, please block this tag.

#musicalshenanigans: When people send music links to Jimmy or me! So be free to scroll around if you're looking for music.

#whimsyartjourney: When other people send in art! I just think it's neat. I don't draw, this isn't for me! #takeresponsibility: Post-crash themed nightmares, hallucinations, or otherwise. Figured it was about time I got a tag for that! That was a lot, right? There's more. Specific event tags! Aka, shit happens to Jimmy that can be classified as a special event, here's a tag for it. (psst. You can cause events too, if you play your cards right!) #lostlizardtales: That one time Jimmy lost his pet lizard, Ray! (He remembers this.) #truthpotionhorrors: When Jimmy accidentally drank a 'soda' that turned out to be some sort of truth potion, so he couldn't lie! (Doesn't remember.) #jimmyschildishresponsibility: When Jimmy got turned into his child self for a while. (Barely remembers and just thinks it was a weird dream.) #drinkingresponsibly: Seemingly, without any alcohol at all, he managed to get intoxicated, apparently. He was not very good at talking, he fucking hated it, actually. (Barely remembers, heavy blanks in his memory.) #truthcursethe2nd: Jimmy got cursed to say the truth for 5 asks I fear. A few of them were extras because they were already answered before this event, either directly or indirectly. (He does remember this one.) #jimmytriescursing: That time Jimmy got cursed to be incapable of swearing, instead getting forced to say the most insane bullshopperoonie things. (He remembers this one.) #jimmysofafeather: CURSE OF RA. (Actually just Jimmy becoming weirdly obsessed with birds for 15 asks but that's what inflicted it.) (He remembers this one. Regrettably.) #criticalswap: Jimmy switched roles with Anya for ten asks! In this small time, he was never actually a co-pilot! Anya is, in that case. He was the nurse! Very fun to write I fear. (He doesn't remember this, what a shame.) Person specific tags! Tags for specific characters, (like ocs, mainly) I just think it's fun! #washout: Kaleb Doran/Smokey tag! Aka that one Fallout oc that's Jimmy's frenemy! ...And also has a lot of other insane things going on! (atombombskilledtheradiostar) #lawsuitscalling: Brianne Cohen tag! Aka head of the legal team, being dragged into her job while just barely tolerating anyone she contacts! (exhausted-lawyer) #notholdingliability: Polle? Intern that just gets mistaken for the mascot. A lot! Not responsible for any of the crew's mistakes, of course. (pony-express-official) #wateranon🌊: Water Anon tag! Literally just a sentient ocean that gave Jimmy his lizard, Ray! Jimmy has grown attached without really meaning to. (wateranon) #doubtingresponsibilities: Jimmy's very own voice of self doubt! Or, rather something else. Either way, only in his mind to make his life hell. (broken-bridle) Cause that's who Doubt really is, technically. Woahh. (lots of lore in that tag) #steveman27⛏️: Self explanatory I think. Steveman27 tag, yes the Minecraft character. No you are not mistaken. (steveman27) #crossingtheuniverses: A ship full of certain characters you may or may not be familiar with, but it takes place in the Mouthwashing universe! Applies to every conversation that takes place with anyone part of said universe. (starlight-stables) #responsibleseal: I will probably never use this, but it's fun to mess around with this critter anyways. ( @local-seal ) #gaininghopefulthoughts: Hope! Kind of. Jimmy isn't taking that well. In fact, probably taking it in the worst way possible. He's so used to problems he refuses to have it ever. (Not sure who to credit this for 😭 same mod that made Doubt and broken-bridle though) That's all! Stay safe and have fun interacting! :] Jimmy death counter is at 17 by the way. None of them canon.

[yuseirra]

A comparison: What’s Up with Death Note Musical's Lyrics? KR(JP) VS English

It's quite different in tone!

To shift the mood from what I usually talk about- I thought it'd be fun to discuss about some of the songs I like from the Death Note musical I mentioned before! I've been listening to them quite a bit and they're enjoyable to listen to.

Out of all the songs I’ve heard from the Korean version(since I understand the language), my favorite is “The Unchanging/Unwavering Truth.” (I also listen to “ Ready to Love(I'm Ready)” and “Death Note(Hurricane)” quite a lot.)

From the English version, the songs I listen to the most are Playing His Game, Where Is the Justice?, and Hurricane. The lyrics are just so interesting.

It’s fascinating how even though there’s some overlap between the Korean and English versions, the songs that stand out for me do differ(they're all good ofc)—and sometimes, the tone of the lyrics is completely different.

Personally, I found the lyrics of the English version of Hurricane to be full of bold, passionate energy—really entertaining. The English version’s Light gives the impression that he’s been waiting for the Death Note all along. He doesn’t hesitate. As soon as he gets it, he’s like, “Wow… with this, I can finally do everything I’ve always wanted!” He comes off a bit unhinged, in a compelling way.

This may have to do with the U.S. being a country that allows gun ownership. Maybe the emphasis on self-defense or the constant awareness of danger plays a role. There are lyrics in several songs that compare the notebook to a gun. Phrases like “Writing is the gun, and I only have to aim” or “He’s not killing people with knives or guns...” That comparison doesn't exist in the respective KR/JP versions. The focus seems to be on how Light now has access to a method that’s easier and leaves fewer traces than conventional weapons, than the act of being able to murder someone in the first place.

Unlike a knife, which has other uses, a gun is inherently made to kill. And if something like that were to be released into the world… I feel like the impact it could have on people’s minds would be significant.

The English version of Light really shows this mindset (a mix of idealism and madness) clearly—especially in the first song, Where Is the Justice? He doesn’t really seem to struggle with doubts like “Is it okay for me to do this?” Rather, he already knows what he wants to do. He throws challenging questions at teachers who speak from a rational, rule-of-law perspective. He asks, “Should the world really be like this? Where is the justice?” expressing his own dissatisfaction with the state of the world.

So the moment he picks up the notebook, he’s not shocked like, “Oh no… did I just kill someone?”(this happens in the respective JP/KR counterparts of this song. In fact, that version is about Light's Dillemma and resolve and overcoming his doubts of killing people as the means to serve his ideals. Super interesting, isn't it?)—he seems more euphoric. It’s like, “Wait right there, criminals! I’m going to take you all down. I’m the hurricane!”

In a way, this does seem to somewhat align with how Light was portrayed in the original manga. As I recall, the manga didn’t focus much on Light’s inner turmoil over the act of killing itself. It was more like, “Sure, I’ve killed a lot of people. But it was a necessary evil. The world is full of people we don’t need, and I’m simply cleaning things up. Crime rate has dropped over 70%, hasn’t it?”

That’s how I remember it—though it’s been 3-4 years since I read it, so I may not be completely accurate. But I felt like he genuinely believed that. He had such strong conviction in his own sense of justice that he didn’t waver much. Even when he started killing the FBI agents chasing him, he didn’t seem to feel particularly troubled about it.

If Light had been the kind of person who constantly wrestled with his own justification, the whole vibe would’ve been different.

Anyway, I’ll leave that there for now.

As for The Unchanging/Unwavering Truth—my impression is that the Korean actor who played L added a lot of his own interpretation to the role. The mood is very different from the sample version.

I’m not sure, but I think the Japanese version followed the atmosphere of the sample more closely (though I haven’t listened to it in detail). I’ve seen comparison clips.

In the sample version, unlike the powerful Korean performance, the tone is much more subdued. I’ll bring in the songs to show what I mean.

And for the Korean version… among the ones on YouTube, this is my favorite:

I love it because it’s so powerful!

I haven’t seen the musical live—I’ve only listened to some of the songs, so I might be off—but from the lyrics, it seems like this song comes after L deduces, through deduction, that a supernatural entity like a Shinigami must actually exist. So he accepts that truth and decides to move forward with it.

In terms of direction, I think the Korean and English versions of this song express things differently.

In the Korean version, L seems just as bold and principled as Light—maybe even more so. His stance is basically: “I’m the one who’s right. You’re just a hypocrite and a murderer." (This is present in The Game Begins.) Almost like Inspector Javert. There’s conviction, a sense of personal justice that stands against Light’s, and a battle of wills that’s more important than even their lives. It’s a high-stakes, head-to-head clash. (And really, that’s probably the kind of resolve it would take to stand against a mass murderer.)

I think the Korean actor’s interpretation plays a big part in this. I find reinterpretations like this to be a great fit for the musical medium, and dramatically engaging. Plus, the acting and singing are top-notch—it’d be so fun to watch. The original L is also quite stubborn, so this take feels like a compelling angle—it suits him.

The English version of L, on the other hand, feels more like a classic detective. From what I’ve heard in the songs, he has strong principles, but it comes through differently—sharper, more precise. The Korean version is more emotionally intense, while the English version feels like a scholar or researcher who’s digging deep.

So the vibe of the song is a bit like… a scholar who’s spent his whole life believing in one thing, only to discover evidence of something that completely contradicts it.

Like: “Whoa… is this truly the truth? It’s so different from what I’ve always believed… but if it is the truth, then as a seeker of knowledge, I have to accept it and uphold it—because that’s what truth demands.”

That’s the kind of image I get.

Kind of like an astronomer discovering a previously unseen star, or a scientist uncovering a new law of nature.

If I had to sum it up:

The Korean version’s L is Light’s rival and arch-nemesis. He’s basically saying, “I’ll stop you no matter what it takes!”

The English version’s L feels more like a detective who, while working a case, comes across Light and thinks, “Hmm… this one’s a bit strange.” Then gradually realizes, “Wait, this is something much bigger.” He becomes more serious about it.

This L does want to uncover Light’s truth, but more than that, it feels like Light is just one of many mysteries he’s dealt with in his line of work. He’d probably give this much attention to any major case. It just hasn’t been this complex before.

So he approaches Light as a “problem to solve,” but not someone who shakes him to his core. (I can be wrong because I haven't heard all the songs nor have watched the musical as a whole, this is just what I get from this particular song alone)

The Korean L won’t budge either, of course—but there, it feels like Light and L’s battle goes all the way to a personal, human level. Each becomes the other’s focus.

In the English version, both Light and L are so self-contained in their respective worldviews that their goals are more objective. They don’t dive deeply into each other’s emotional or inner world to the extent that they get so affected by it. Their main drive isn’t “defeating the other and proving I’m right,” but more like, “I’m going to stay true to my path (become the hurricane / uncover the truth).”

You can feel this even in the lyrics of Playing His Game.

Both versions explore the other intensely—but in the English version, it’s like gathering data and analyzing objective details to figure out what the other is thinking: What do they like to eat? Where do they go? Do they dream? What will they do next?

In contrast, the Korean (and maybe Japanese) versions have more abstract lyrics—things like “You’re all I see,” “burning up,” “entangled,” “we’re the only ones in this world…”—so it feels more emotionally charged.

There’s more personal emotion in how they approach each other. More subjective assessments, more provocations.

Which version is more accurate to the manga? I'd have to reread it, both are convincing and intriguing takes!

It’s really interesting how these subtle differences pop up—maybe it’s a cultural thing, like a contrast in emotional sensibilities between the East and the West? Even in terms of goals, the English version focuses on "me winning," while the Korean/Japanese version shifts the spotlight to "I’ll cut off your breath," putting the emphasis squarely on the opponent. It’s like they’ve become deeply significant presences to each other—“That person has become my goal. I need to figure out how to defeat them.”

Now, finally circling back to the song, "Unwavering Truth" and its lyrics-

In the English version, the song "Unwavering Truth" has the title, “The Way Things Are.”

I think you can interpret this title as, “The Way the World Works” or “The Truth of How the World Turns” might work well. It's subtly...different. And it makes sense, let me discuss about it a little more.

Interestingly, the line "The Way Things Are" actually appears in the English lyrics of "Where is the Justice?"—the first song that plays when Light makes his debut:

What about the victims

Waiting for some justice?

How can we turn away and say

That’s just the way things are?

This shows that Light’s definition of justice begins with resisting “the way the world works.”

As if to say, “Who cares about how things are ‘supposed’ to be—there are people suffering right now, right here!”

On the other hand, in L’s song, he says:

The cold, hard truth

Can’t lock it out

You can’t change it

True or false, no

Shadow of a doubt

Can’t rearrange it

The cold, hard truth

Is my north star

So I know I’ll live and I’ll die

The way things are.

So L is basically saying the opposite—“I will live within the boundaries of this truth, of the way the world is.”

They both use the phrase "the way things are," but the contexts are completely different.

For Light, the phrase represents something to rage against.

For L, it’s the unshakable truth that guides his path—a light by which he lives and eventually dies.

It's such an intriguing opposition, right?

Maybe it's also meant to emphasize that the two are destined for a conflict where only one can survive.

I don’t think this kind of nuance exists in the Japanese or Korean versions.

Since the English lyrics are the original, the lyricist probably embedded devices like contrasts and mirrored phrases deliberately.

In a way, Light comes across as “the one who wants to destroy the system,” (and “Hurricane” definitely fits that image), while L feels more like “the guardian of truth.”

Their portrayals are similar to the original, yet also subtly different.

I remember Light being someone very structured—he tries to create and enforce a system.

Meanwhile, L feels more unconventional—less bound by norms, willing to get what he needs by bending the rules.

But ironically, Light’s the one who ends up crossing society’s moral lines, whereas L usually doesn’t step beyond a certain minimum threshold.

Their character construction is so well done.

Personally, as an idealist, I tend to believe that ideals aren’t things you achieve by settling into the current reality—they’re things you move toward by changing and evolving.

So even if I’m unsure in terms of real-world behavior, when it comes to philosophy, I’m usually drawn to the idea of “let’s change it for the better.”

Ironically enough, however, I did also root for L when I first read Death Note.

That's because the moment Light started killing investigators, it became clear that his justice wasn’t exactly just anymore.

Because I’m idealistic, I instinctively hit the brakes at that point—“This isn’t right.”

That said… even though Light obtained the power to kill anyone at will, he didn’t exactly use it for selfish personal gain.

He could have, but instead, he genuinely believed “I am the god of a new world.”

Now, I know that phrase sounds a little juvenile—and the fact that he gets so hung up on it might seem a bit cheesy—but ironically, that does make him more human.

He genuinely believed in his sense of justice.

I think he was pure in a way (even if his facial expressions do become more sinister as things go on).

But here’s the thing—someone who never doubts their own beliefs is dangerous, regardless of whether they’re good or evil.

He was given immense power, and I can’t help but think that if he hadn’t picked up the notebook, he might’ve lived as a model citizen with a strong sense of justice.

There was a bit of disillusionment with the world, and then, in the middle of an incomplete adolescence, he picked up the notebook—and that, combined with his brilliant mind, created a really bad synergy.

Light is… well, pure, in a sense.

Rather than “good” or “evil,” it’s his conviction that’s the real issue.

When it comes to justice, I do think it’s okay to be firm in your convictions.

But his were so strong, so absolute, and they directly translated into action.

And that’s probably why the story was so compelling—because Light acted without hesitation.

Death Note has the potential to go really deep philosophically or ideologically, but the story intentionally avoids diving in too hard.

Instead, it focuses on the psychological chess match between two geniuses, which makes it easier to enjoy without being overwhelmed.

I was always watching with curiosity, thinking, “What are those two going to try next?”

Earlier I mentioned that English-version L felt a bit like a scholar.

There’s one particularly striking song of his—was it “The Game Begins”?—where he sings about analyzing numbers, data, and graphs.

Maybe it’s because of the way the actor sang it, but the lyrics just stuck with me… haha.

Those lines were probably kept almost exactly from the English lyrics.

And really, in psychology and sociology, data is crucial.

You gather information, build a statistical foundation—big data, essentially—and that becomes your starting point.

It reminded me of that, and I really liked it.

Well, that's my analysis on these songs! I'd like to reread this manga again sometime too, I remember it having been quite good!

[nerves-nebula]

Hello. I have never seen an "teenage mutant ninja turtles" show, comic, or movie. The characters however, appeal to me. If any one show or movie would suffice, where should I begin? Other sources have not been helpful.

OHHH GODDD OK WELL. OK SO. the thing is that different iterations are SO different i'm not entirely convinced that comparing them to each other is very ?? helpful?? a lot of people these days get into tmnt through the 2018 animated show Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles. HOWEVER, that show only has like 2 seasons and is not the end all be all of the tmnt universe.

it's kind of hard for me to advise you to watch or read any one specific piece of tmnt media to get into it, because I kind of just already knew about it the entire time growing up?? like i never really actively watched it but i was generally aware of the concept for my entire life.

and i'm not sure exactly ABOUT the tmnt characters interests you, so i wouldn't know where to point you.

with all that as a disclaimer here's some of the more popular film/tv shows (I'm about as lost as you when it comes to the comics to be honest)

ROTTMNT/rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles. it's the newest series as far as i know and it has fantastic animation. it's very funny and lighthearted most of the time and the boys even get magic powers (eventually) it's the one that really got me into tmnt. this one kind of switches around the roles of the characters. Usually you'll see Raph being depicted as the rash one, or the one with anger issues who strikes out on his own (and i still think thats true to an extent in rottmnt) but he, as well as Leo, are definitely portrayed in a different way than normal in rottmnt. which i like tbh it's fun. (i could write a whole essay about how their characters are different but also kind of the same in rottmnt vs other media but that would take all day)

TMNT 2012 series. The 2012 series is very influential as well, and heavily beloved by many. I haven't seen all of it yet, but it's biggest drawbacks (to me at least) is its very 2010's american childrens show style of comedy which can come off as uncomfortably cruel/annoying if you aren't ok with it. it's also an early years CGI animated show, so sometimes things don't look as good as they could. STILL it's definitely interesting and i like the dynamics between the brothers there so I'd give it a chance.

TMNT 2003 series. honestly i havent heard a lot about this one, but i really like the style and ive watched a few episodes of it, and it's definitely solid, sorry i can't say much more than that.

TMNT 1987 series. also can't say much about this one but it is hella goofy from what i've watched of it. it's also the original cartoon series i believe, airing as a sort of "saturday morning cartoon" situation.

TMNT 1990 movie. this one is part of a trilogy of tmnt movies, but i've only seen the first and a half movies. I really enjoyed the first one, it was a fun time and kind of campy, and the guy who plays casey jones is cute. this one is live action and the turtle costumes can look off putting to some people, but personally i liked them.

im sure people in the replies/reblogs of this post will add their opinions too haha

[homestuckreplay]

miscellaneous thoughts!

No update today :( but I have some miscellaneous thoughts bouncing around in my head, so here they are.

I rewatched the end of act 1 flash animation (p.246) and was hit for the first time with how terrifying this must be for John. I think on first watch I was scared from an external perspective (is he gonna be ok?) but wasn't in his head. This time I was in his head. John's life isn't good or happy right now but there's no indication that he's suffered violent or sudden trauma before. This is probably the single scariest event that's happened to John. His whole life was destroyed in less than five minutes. When I look at this with analytical brain it's so easy to forget that but... no wonder he hesitated. No wonder he was paralyzed with fear for a few seconds before taking that bite. It's such a trial by fire and so much responsibility to just throw at somebody who's been pretty sheltered and not at all prepared for this by their upbringing. I want to highlight this because I want to keep it in mind to understand his character going forward.

Back with the recent Rose update. I think the plastic letters on Rose's fridge are the secret to her modus. The command 'Captchalogue W' for an alphabetical modus really hit me, and the way everything auto-balanced could definitely be utilized, potentially even weaponized, by simply grabbing the right letters to push the necessary card to the root. This would be perfect for someone as wordy as she is, and it's a fun contrast to Dave - her alphabetical modus vs his numerical one.

'But it's hard to resist getting a little silly sometimes. Especially when you are absolutely positive no one is watching.'

With Rose's writing journals (p.220) she seemed to have some awareness of the Homestuck player watching her. Now that's gone, with no difference in command style, and I'm kind of mystified. Is it an occasional prickle at the back of her head that happens randomly? Is she more ashamed of her creative writing than of her silly behavior, and will we understand why if we ever get to peek in those journals? Is this location based - Rose is aware of being watched in her room but by leaving it, the threat of her mom looms so large in her mind that she forgets about the player?

Finally, something more serious. There have been a few instances of the r-slur in this comic already. Everyone gets one - John (p.154), Rose (p.249), Dave (p.333) and the narrator (p.387). I think this is realistic dialog for all these characters (but fwiw I do not think GG would say it). I also think that just because something is realistic doesn't make it ok to uncritically write. Anyone could be reading this who has had this word used against them, and could get hurt again by its being casually tossed around by characters who otherwise mean something to them.

Homestuck is a fairly popular webcomic, and making something on the internet - especially as a full time job - is kind of a legacy. People could read this thing 10 or 50 or 100 years in the future, and using language that, while normalized, is known to be offensive, could keep it in the lexicon and continue to normalize it in future. Maybe this is harsh. But it's everyone's responsibility to be a little kinder in how we talk about vulnerable people. And this is an example of somebody not doing that for the sake of teh jokez. I'm not gonna laugh at that or let it slide without saying something.

[yurisorcerer]

Finally fuckin' finished my favorite show of last season. I got lucky, most of the episodes I had yet to watch formed a contiguous arc.

And what an arc. It's been a while since I've been simultaneously really excited about where a show *could* go and a little trepidatious about where it might fail to go.

So! Ruby knows that the doctor she bonded with in a past life was murdered some sixteen years ago. She doesn't YET know that said doctor is now her brother, but I imagine that's coming down the pipe in pretty short order. She handles the former....in what is I guess the Hoshino family way, by which I mean she develops a single-minded obsession with catching her beloved's killer. This will have knock-on effects, I am quite positive. It's already *having* knock-on effects. I mean even just for me alone, I've long fluttered between Akane and Kana as my two favorite characters, but I think dark-star-eyes Ruby might give them a run for their money. Predictably---because this is how this series works---her psyche being stained with trauma and obsession gives Ruby a palpable dark charisma, something that's a million miles away from where the character was up to this point. It's an interesting direction, and and it's incredibly entertaining, but part of me does wonder if Oshi no Ko has the chops for all this.

Put super bluntly, I love this series, and I love a lot of things about it. I love its endless bag of visual tricks, I love its sheer sense of style and panache, I love its characters, almost all of whom are a joy to watch. Its THEMES, though, those are a thing where I've never been totally clear on where exactly Oshi no Ko stands. I think up to a point (around the end of season 1, maybe?) you can make the case that ONK is a pretty straightforward "fame fucks you up" kind of thing, and it definitely is at least partly that, but the series takes waaaaaaaaay too much voyeuristic pleasure in showing us just how magnetic people whose personalities are cracked in a certain way can be. It's downright lurid, in spots. And that's not to say that there isn't a real joy to be had in the talents that the cast have, because there is---Melt's episode is almost entirely about that---but now that we're heading once again into the darker, seedier aspects of this series' story, I do wonder what it's all going to add up to by the end. Again being honest, I wonder if it's writing checks it can't cash with imagery like this.

(Yes I know that first one is from their music video, but the music video is also part of the anime. Oshi no Ko *loves* to mix textual layers like this.)

I have always kind of suspected that Akasaka Aka is fundamentally a somewhat morally conservative writer, so I don't know what him attempting to steer Ruby in this new direction is going to look like. I'm not sure he really has it in him to let her go apeshit the way a couple scenes in this episode seem to promise. Certainly, I am vaguely aware that at least some fans of the manga think it's all downhill from here, but the guy's surprised me before and I wouldn't be too shocked if he did so again.

Even if the series completely fucks up its landing, I have to say I've REALLY enjoyed the ride. Season 2 is probably even better than Season 1, and Season 1 was no fucking slouch. These are my soap operas, and I do sometimes wonder if it reflects badly on me as a person that I get as much of a kick as I do out of seeing The Hoshino Family's Fun Time Misery Hour when it's airing.

I may cave and read the manga at some point, but even if I do I will definitely be there for Season 3 next year. The anime has been end to end gorgeous so far and I am really interested to see what they pull off in the episodes to come.

[saladmix]

HII I LOVE YOUR FIC SO MUCH!! IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!! SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING I'VE READ THIS WHOLE YEAR!!

this might have already been answered but I'd like to ask what was your inspiration for writing a tmnt horror story? and what are some of your favorite horror books/movies/etc. ?

again "The Day the World Broke" is so amazing I don't even know how to properly articulate how good it is

AHH THANK YOU this fills my cold dead heart to the brim with joy <3 I'm so glad you're enjoying it I'm truly so warmed by the fact that it has gotten any pick up at all given the wild genre!

And thank you for sending questions omg please don't mind me as a ramble for forever because I could talk about this kind of stuff all day (and I have, much to friend and family despair).

The impetus for TDTWB was actually me driving back late at night from a friend's place. It was REAL foggy, the kind of fog where you can't see in front of you and have to rely on the small road markers right as they come into sight. The mist in the story is almost its own character, I love how alive it feels (and how it sometimes very much IS alive, SOS). But that's where I kind of originally built the idea out on that drive home.

But I consume a huge amount of horror/suspense media so there are so many elements of different things that have kind of come together and coalesced into this story. You see a lot of elements of Silent Hill, Resident Evil, and Evil Within baked into it, especially with the monster element. I really wanted to go big or go home with some of those creatures. I myself love a good creature flick but there was nothing more fun for my friends and I screaming in front of a game when a new horrifying monster came on for us to fight. It just reminds me of those times, where it's scary, sure, but mostly the feeling of 'Oh my goooooood what the hell!' that I really enjoy.

There are also a ton of other movie influences and some of them are more subtle and based on singular scenes that get kind of expanded upon. For instance, there's a scene in the First Omen (skip over if you don't want to be spoiled for the scene, but it is in the trailer!) where our girl is sitting in a dark room, saying it isn't real, and a voice answers back "what's not real?". That stuck with me for a while I really loved that so a lot of Leo's Demon Shredder experience is kind of build on that singular feeling of sudden dread.

But as with some of the good horror movies, it's not just about the scares and the monsters. A real desire for me when writing horror is digging into that humanity piece, a concept you can see across a lot of horror series and books. I wanted each of these boys to have their own arc to contend with and some are more subtle and others are more, how you say, extremely obvious. But they were all very purposefully built in. It was important for me to make these characters vibrant and dimensional and it was not hard, because it's TMNT and we love these turtle boys! But I was hyper-aware that I'm doing an AU version that is pretty atypical, with what is essentially a regular family of teenagers having to navigate the end of the world. So I'm so touched that people love them as much as I do!

I don't even know if I'm answering the question at this point! My goodness. But I WILL wrap it up with some of my favorite recent media that I've consumed, otherwise this list would grow beyond anyone's desire to read <3

Books:

Hex by Thomas Oldeheuvelt (This felt like a really unique premise that really speaks to the whole humanity is the monster theme)

Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder (Not for the faint of heart! But boy was it a wild trip that I thought about for weeks after I finished it)

Movies:

Heretic (just came out, super eerie for me I loved the build up)

Smile 2 (I love me a movie that trips into Uncanny Valley, I found the scares unique and fun, but for me I loved the character, drew me right in!)

Oddity (SOOOO eerie, super obsessed with it)

TV Shows:

The Haunting of Hill House (I highly recommend this one for the family drama behind the horror, it's such a fun, beautiful time)

Thanks for the ask!! I really loved it, and I love talking about this story and horror so please ask away any time. Thank you so very much for reading the story too!

[gemharvest]

Hiii local pico fanboy here to request him for the character thing :))

YES!!! PICO BRAINWORM, ACTIVATE !!!!!!!!!

favorite thing about them: TBHHHH idk. I like his silly maybe. His whimsy. I angst his ass so much but he's such a goober in canon. I want to put him in a hamster ball and watch him run around and I genuinely think he'd enjoy it.

least favorite thing about them: I feel like every time I mention him I run the risk of someone making a weird assumption about me. Pico toxoplasmosis curse: will someone yell at me because my fave, my little scrunkly, my blorbo, originates from the Newgrounds school shooting satire game. The answer is to tell myself not to worry about it and I go "Okay💗 Yay💗" and continue brainrotting.

favorite line: What does this guy even say fuuuuufhfhuhhkkckkk. Guy who mostly thinks about FNF and has barely touched Pico's School stuff. Unfortunately might have to pass on this for now sorry. You can give me a bad grade on being a Pico fan LMAO. /j

brOTP: I'm going to be so fr I am obsessed with the dynamic you can get between him and Nene. I am studying them like bugs. Tho of course Pico & Darnell's friendship is so good. Newgrounds trio you are so fucked up I love you guys.

OTP: Hey guys do any of you know about this niche little thing called the RGB polyshioGFOKMKFGMLKM>. Very obvious answer but yeah. OT3. As of late I've been having so much fun with romantic PicoGF. PicoBF gets a lot of focus and it has from me too, but there's such a fun dynamic you can get from GF and Pico. They can have something fun even if you take a platonic/ QPR angle, tho I said already that I like exploring a romantic dynamic between them.

nOTP: I don't knowwwwwwwww. I don't think I have a nOTP for him. Yes, even considering Cass (huge-ass disclaimer that I do not ship them, but I can't see myself caring if others do). Sorry LOL.

random headcanon: I think if you asked him if he'd jump off a cliff he'd say no, of course not wtf, but then if you asked him if he'd jump off a cliff because Boyfriend did he'd take a suspicious amount of time to answer. Like that one Dan Vs. bit. Idk I'm trying to think of something I haven't mentioned before. Secondary answer that's more of a headcanon is that I really do think this guy would be a non-traditional pet owner. Like snakes/ tarantulas that kinda thing. I think he'd like rats/ other rodents too but the idea of him handling a snake makes me bounce off the walls.

unpopular opinion: The curse I bare is that I barely go to wider fandom spaces I don't know what a popular opinion for him right now would be. Idk I think people sometimes write him to be way tougher than he'd be. Like, OK I'm tired idk how to fully explain it but in my head this guy's a softie once he lets you past his exterior. He's kind at heart even if he has his whole Thing going on and I've seen takes that ignore that/ aren't aware of it, and I feel like that's the surface-level read people might get off of him. Might be able to put this better when I have a rested mind LMAO.

song i associate with them: *cracks my knuckles and opens my playlist for him* Oh I was built for this. Two because I an never content picking just one, my playlist for him would be massive if I remembered to add songs regularly LMAO.

favorite picture of them:

I feel like this is a very funny choice for "favorite image" but it's specifically this bit in his character sheet. "Kind like how cats stretch out look longer" you don't say... Guy who isn't even beating the kitty allegations in his fucking character sheet. My non-funny answer would probably be his game-over sprite for when you lose to one of the spray paint cans:

>> original ask game here; feel free to send more, I don't bite <<

[thousand-winters]

I hope YOU'RE doing well pal! 💖💖💖 I'd love to hear your Laios and Hooty thoughts

Actually now I'm thinking about them interacting and how cursed it'd be haha

I am today!!! It has been a good day for once haha. I hope you're having a good day today, and that your cats are doing good!!!

Oh, my gods, I can't decide if they would get along like a house on fire or if somebody would end up dead ahahaha. Or if Laios would consider Hooty looks stupid considering his reaction to Marcille's sky fish lmao 😭 I'm sorry, Hooty, you technically ARE a worm.

Okay, getting into it now, starting with Laios:

How I feel about this character

I love him!!! He ended up not being my favorite because I adore Marcille with my whole heart but he's such a good main character, honestly. I wasn't thinking too much about it when I started watching, I was just having fun and I think it showed already that he wasn't just a silly character or anything, but man... the moments he got the most serious, he had me in shambles haha.

I enjoy him very much, it's really cool to see the ripples in his relationship with both monsters and humans. There's so much to him that I'm yet to see too and I'm looking forward to it, he's definitely not the kind of main character you're kinda sick of and want to leave already haha.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I have been swayed to the Labru side, finally, haha. I think they have a fascinating dynamic and while I certainly haven't seen everything they have to offer, the push and pull there makes it very compelling. Plus I'm not immune to cool fanart and funny posts, not gonna lie, but the main reason is that they seem to have a very compelling dynamic, not exactly direct or straightforward in its development and that really has me dying to see more.

I have been seeing Lashuro recently too and ngl, I've been going 👀 at that too. I remember I had talked with my friend Isis about how it was sort of funny that the Toudens do have very similar traits when it comes to how they view the world sometimes and yet Toshiro finds one annoying and the other charming. Probably in part a mix of attitude and gender, I'm not sure. Although in all fairness they seemed to be pretty at peace at the end so... I think it can be fun.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Marcille!!! Oh, they have so many good scenes with one another, they have such a fun dynamic, I love how much Laios trusts Marcille despite also knowing she can do shit like pour boiling water on an Undyne lmao.

In general they're very fun, the mix of them bickering but very obviously valuing each other's opinions and caring about one another is really good. Also I think it was you who said once they had siblings in lae energy and I can't unsee it ever since, they really do haha.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I haven't seen this much around tumblr or such, and I know the Dunmeshi Spanish fandom has the worst takes known to mankind but man, he's not dumb, come on now.

I doubt this is really unpopular and I especially need to actually read the full manga to understand his character more, probably, so I don't have too many complex opinions about him but... I feel like it's somewhat common to see him depicted as stupid but he's such a smart character, actually? He doesn't have to be the tropey nerd character to be smart, he has been shown to be very perceptive, even if he might be lacking on that department when it comes to social matters.

I just think writing him off as just being clueless and dumb is doing a big disservice to his character. He does have his struggles when it comes to general awareness and specific types of it but he's far from dumb.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I truly cannot speak on this one since I'm not done with the manga, haha. I have been spoiled a bit by some really cool fanart and animatics, I'm not gonna lie, so I have the gist of some big things that are coming but since I have the idea and not the actual development of it, I don't feel like I can speak on any of it, nor do I have any concrete ideas there anyway.

So far I'm pretty content with everything I have seen, both anime and manga wise.

And now onto Hooty:

How I feel about this character

I love him. I get why he annoys a lot of people in and out of universe, he's one of those silly cartoon characters that's not supposed to be super deep (although what's up with Papa Titan having a Hooty in his eye? I still need answers about that), but I like that he's always sweet and loves his people even if they're mean to him. I'm so happy Lilith came along and started appreciating him, it's what he deserves!

I think he's fun in general. I definitely would love to think more about the deeper implications about his existence, how did he even meet Eda and all about that, but I have to admit I don't think enough about him most of the time to even have ideas in that department. He's just silly and I appreciate that.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

None, this is how you get the cursed image of Hootlets. Does anybody wants Hootlets? This is how we get them.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

LILITH!!! Their friendship makes me SO happy, they're adorable. I definitely didn't see that one coming but I like how they ended lowkey balancing each other with Hooty reminding Lilith to care for herself and that she should depend on others and Lilith remarking upon Hooty's own worth to the point he's not seeking attention desperately anymore after they become friends because he's far more content with his friendship. It might have been more about how the writing around him changed too, but I liked to think the fact they became friends also helped the rest of the Owl Fam to soften around him and appreciate him more.

I love that in the end Hooty is living his best life just going around with Lilith.

My unpopular opinion about this character

He's not THAT annoying except in the Spanish dub. And I'm saying this as a chronic "obnoxious cartoon mascot hater" haha. Hooty is obviously supposed to be a little much but I don't think it ever goes to the point in which you actually want to strangle him or wish he wasn't even in the show in the first place.

At least that's what the experience was for me, I'm aware opinions differ but I think Hooty is pretty fine as he is, honestly.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Going back to that thing with Papa Titan and the Hooty eye... hey, what was that? Can we go back to that real quick? I really wish we had found out what was the connection between titans and... whatever Hooty is. I know Dana said at some point a specific youtuber had made the right theory but I could never figure out who was it and what did they say haha.

Anyway, yeah, I wish they had gotten into that. It would be Hooty AND titan lore all in one.

Thank you for the ask!!! From this ask game

[merge-conflict]

✒️ writer interview tag

tagged by @luvwich 😼 and definitely didn't forget about this for almost a week

When did you start writing?

I think I was writing self-insert naruto fanfiction when I was 12 lol. After high school I stopped writing for about ten years, and finally picked it up again in 2020 when I was unemployed.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I don't think so- I mostly read SFF but everything I read that I like ends up thrown into my writing in some way or another. I've been wanting to expand into maybe not other themes/genres but other forms of writing? Games writing has a lot of interesting things like handling branching paths & worldbuilding/contextual/found note stuff that I think I would enjoy but I'm not quite there yet.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

No one has ever compared me to writers that I'm aware of and there's no one that I specifically emulate. However after writing a fair amount and then re-reading some of my favored books I can see where I've picked up bits of style. Recently I noticed some stuff from Gillian Flynn and Ann Leckie that I realize I do in my writing as well. I guess for me it's less emulating or channeling a writer than wanting to use one of their tools that I admire, if that makes sense?

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I don't have a writing space per se. When I was really ill I wrote in bed, sometimes I write in my home office. Sometimes I'm standing, sitting, laying down. Most often I have a little lap desk and I'll be in the living room on the couch, either on my laptop or writing on paper.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Annoyingly if I'm not already plagued by something then resting for a while usually brings on a muse. If I'm healthy and emotionally stable then there's usually something scratching at the back of my head that is inspiring me to write. If not, well- then I'm probably not going to get much done or be able to summon a muse.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Oh boy, yeah. Lots of transgender and identity adjacent stuff. Learning to live with what you have and maybe even like it. Being horny at inopportune times. Characters being forced to consider what they want and maybe even ask for it to turn their lives around. How life is so goddamn weird and messy and beautiful. None of it is surprising in general but I do sometimes get blindsided in editing by how yet again I've managed to hit the same theme (but it feels good!)

What is your reason for writing?

If I don't get the words and the stories out of me I get sick.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

People telling me they want to read more is always really motivating! I also get extremely chuffed if someone says they've had a similar idea to what I had or had read a character the same way- it's like knowing that someone else wants to see the story play out and I need to keep writing it.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I'm just a silly little guy who is also handsome and perfect (and humble).

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I work really hard on balance in writing, and I feel like I do a pretty good job with that one a strategic and tactical level. Things like allowing some time to breathe, and then having moments where things are chaos. Or the tone of a chapter- putting a little laughter in grief, or a some sadness in joy to enhance the flavor. :3

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm so glad I started writing again, and I'm so glad I never gave in to the early desire to delete everything I didn't like. Mostly how I feel is that it's so much fun, and it's satisfying to write, and I feel like I'm learning on the go. I reread my stuff a lot because it's for *me* and I love it even with its flaws. I made that!

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I write mostly for myself, although obviously like everyone else I also want everyone else to enjoy it (mostly in the sense that since I like it I think everyone else should too lol). But I realize that's not practical and that's okay too- like I said, I reread my own stuff and enjoy it so while I'm of course always looking for ways to collab or share with others it's really me following my heart.

Not tagging because I'm late to the game and I'm not sure who's already been asked or played. But as always an open tag to anyone who wants to play :3 tag me back so I can read your interview!

[brigittttoo]

Hello brigit!!! I would love to hear about 3, 7, and 36 for the writer asks, if you're interested. <3<3<3

hi dear elwen <3<3<3 thanks for the ask!

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

definitely interesting to think about.....I think there are tropes that I like to use but I wouldn't necessarily say they're particularly characteristic (e.g. established relationships, I love to avoid writing people getting together lol). I do fancy an AU, it has to be said; sometimes it takes me a while to figure out where all the nooks and crannies are in canon that I can use as handholds for the mountain climbing that is fic, so especially in the beginning of writing for a pairing I'll just shift characters to a whole new mountain lol.

As for characteristic details. Love to describe a sky, a terrain, a forest or body of water, you know me. If I gotta put these guys in situations I'm gonna describe the heck out of the atmosphere and general surroundings lmao

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

yes! I was thinking just the other day about my epic fantasy au The World Offers Itself, and I'm still so proud of how much effort I put into both creating a world with interesting creatures and side characters and history and then devising my very own (SPOILERS) way for water to be a major connector of plot point (END SPOILERS) and THEN actually writing the whole thing lol. Such is only suitable for a big bang fic, though.

My guilty pleasure is to do a bit of worldbuilding and then only reveal the most relevant parts of it in fic as if I'm explaining it to a reader who's already in the know. So strong runner-up is probably the Es gibt Wölfe im Wald series.

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

I do! Although I put a bit of work into translating what I visualize into text, making sure to focus on what matters in terms of description, action, etc. One trick I've been enjoying using is almost like when, (and I've never studied film properly so I might be describing it all wrong) movies use camera framing to help tell the story/focus on important parts of a scene/build or break a scene's rhythym. Like kind of an adapted version of close-up, full shot, wide shot, etc.

I've tried to find an example in my most recent fic, The Hound Obeys: in a scene where Cody and Obi-Wan are a bit at odds after a tense situation, Obi-Wan "keeps walking, a handspan away from Cody’s back", a sort of medium shot, and then apart from dialogue I keep a lot of the description (from Obi-Wan's POV) about Cody's helmet, his visor, etc, and when I describe Obi-Wan's actions it's all shoulders-up as well. Cody suddenly gets properly confrontational, catching Obi-Wan off-guard, so "Obi-Wan has the sudden re-awareness that they’re just standing in the open field in the barracks" a suddenly wider shot that breaks the rhythm. Obi-Wan tries to reason with him, we go back in closer, and when they reach the climax in their tense conversation I want us to slow down, dwell in it, so I switch to describing Obi-Wan "[taking] a second to watch some troopers walk over the patch of grass outside the medic tent", a 'wider angle', if you will, and then after one last sort of close quarters insight I go for even wider, "she’s turning around, running a hand back through her hair. She starts in the direction of the house until she remembers she has to take a transport shuttle up the steep valley wall", this description of the surroundings and her kind of mild discombobulation about which direction to walk in. So it's a fun tactic to implement that I hope strengthens the scenes :)

Of course it's important to remember in writing that you have the great advantage of describing the characters' internal mindsets, so just plainly describing what a camera would see is not sufficient. But using that "rule" of where we want to focus I think helps me create and break rhythms in scenes that both describe internal thoughts and external actions, and visualizing that while I'm writing is pretty effective for me.