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deadpcnned · 4 months ago

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Sealed by the Storm (jj.m)

chapter five

pairing: jj maybank x reader; marriage of convenience

content warning(s): mentions of vomiting

author's note: i always sit down thinking i have nothing to write and then the chapters end up this long... i'm sorry. if you're reading this, maybe you can lmk if you'd prefer the chapters be shorter (esp since it's a series)

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JJ feels as though he can still tell which patches of grass he'd stepped over when he trekked the path he is currently walking less than twenty-four hours ago. Only yesterday, he was making his way to the familiar red brick steps that would lead him to one of his most life-altering moments. JJ had always expected to be a frequent flyer at the Kildare County Courthouse, but his two most recent trips to the establishment couldn't have existed in his wildest dreams.

Getting married at nineteen — sorry, John B— to you would have been like a weird fever dream he experienced while on a crazy trip. Being a property and store owner with his best friends? That dream he had kept buried deep inside his heart for years. From as early as twelve, JJ saw the potential in the property where they'd built Poguelandia 2.0. He spent many nights using the open water to catch something to make for his dad and or to make an escape when he needed to. He knew that land and that water like he knew the back of his hand. Building a business like the shop from the ground up had been what JJ had made his eighth-grade career fair project about. He'd completed it with a piece of printer paper he'd stolen from the school library and a red marker he'd taken from his homeroom teacher. He'd crumpled it up and thrown it away before he could turn it in when he realized all the kids had made theirs on full-sized poster boards.

It was moments like those that had made him decide early on he'd never be a business owner. Those subtle reminders that he was in a league so far behind the rest that even completing a middle school project properly wasn't possible for him. When he and the rest of the Pogues had established Poguelandia 2.0, he couldn't believe it. It was proof that twelve-year-old JJ hadn't been wrong. Forget proof of validation- it had made him happy. So happy. To belong, to have purpose. And that happiness may be snatched from his grip in an hour.

JJ drove the Twinkie up to the courthouse, and in the time he'd spent parking it, the Pogues had already begun making their way in. Spotting Kie, he decides to try to catch up to her. Kie had been quiet all morning, and he obviously hadn't had the time to talk to her last night. If he's being honest, he isn't sure what he'd say to her if she were willing to talk. 'I'm sorry?' 'You up?' Nothing he'd say in any other situation made sense in this one. What did a guy say to the girl he was sleeping with after getting married?

"Kie—" JJ's call is cut quiet when he notices who Kiara has just met up with in the gathering crowd. Anna Carrera embraces her daughter tight, while Mike Carrera stands with a straight face behind his wife. JJ tries to turn the other way to dodge them, but Kiara has already heard him and is waving him over. Fighting a grimace, JJ makes his way over to the trio.

"Morning," JJ says, nodding at Mike and Anna. He should probably shake Mike's hand, but he isn't a fan of false niceties and Mike and JJ are not cordial.

"You showed up," Mike chides, resulting in a tap to his chest from his wife, who is clearly trying to keep the peace.

"It's a hearing concerning my property. Where else would I be?" JJ shrugs. Mike has never been a fan of Kiara hanging around the Pogues, but he definitely has a personal vendetta against JJ. It's been like that for years. Maybe he has some fatherly sixth sense that told him JJ's relationship with Kie was different from the rest, but JJ thought it was more that Mike saw him for exactly what he is — nothing good.

"Didn't bring your wife? Not dragging her into this with you?" Mike's question might have thrown JJ off — what with being addressed as having a wife— if it didn't feel like he'd spit the word. He can't figure out why Mike, referring to you that way, claws out an even darker part of him than he usually feels come out with Kie's dad.

"Her name's Y/N," JJ corrects, his tone low. "She's a good friend of your daughters, actually. I dropped 'em both off here just now." JJ lifts his right shoulder to give off an air of disregard for Mike's faux concern.

"Right. Well, I hope you don't mind giving us some time with our daughter," Mike uses his hand to gently guide Kiara into the courthouse with him, and JJ waits for Kiara to stiffen up and bristle, telling her dad no. But when he looks at Kie, he doesn't see the same fire he usually does when her parents are sticking their noses in her business. The fire is still there, but instead of defiance, it is fueled by something bitter JJ can't quite place. He watches as she lets her father guide her, not waiting to see if JJ will follow.

JJ knows he probably looks like an idiot, standing alone like he's frozen. He feels it then, that tight pull right in the center of his chest. A loop of everything wrong starts to run through his mind: Kiara's mad. Property hearing. Groff's my dad. Kooks always win. The loop won't end no matter how hard he tries to turn it off. The volume may decrease as he gets more feedback to interpret, but it'll still be there like a low thrum in the background.

He finally picks up his feet and moves towards the courthouse, his mind only half there, as if he is floating instead of making the mindful decision to walk. As he draws near the ivory building, he sees Pope and Cleo standing by the doors, in conversation with Pope's parents. It's the person standing a few feet away from the red steps who captures his attention.

There you are, standing all alone in the bustling crowds. His fucking wife. Your eyes keep flitting around the lawn, looking for something or likely someone. JJ ignores the tiny voice in his head that wants you to be looking for him.

He doesn't know what's wrong with him, but he can't get the image of you from last night out of his head. You in that white dress the moment he decided he liked your hair down best — loose and carefree. You when he was knelt in front of you, all the cards in your hand, still choosing him. You with the barely restrained tears that had felt like they were blurring his vision instead of yours. And you, with that wide smile and those flushed cheeks from the summer night's heat. The way you danced, your body molding perfectly into his as he spun you closer. He had realized that somewhere between all the fun, he hadn't wanted to let go. There is possibly nothing more dangerous than feeling like he needed to touch you at this moment in time.

JJ wills away the haunting memories of last night as he finally reaches you. You'd caught sight of him when he was a few feet away and are speaking as soon as he is in earshot.

"You parked," You say, and JJ just smirks at you stating the obvious. He hasn't spoken to you one-on-one since you returned to your room last night.

"That I did. You ready to head in?" You nod at JJ's question but make no effort to enter the courthouse. You bite your lip, worrying the soft skin with your teeth. JJ tries not to dwell on how badly he wants to free it for you. "What?"

"Something feels wrong, JJ."

"Yeah, no shit," JJ grumbles, though he finds comfort in being able to focus on his anger rather than whatever else he's feeling at the moment. "These fucking Kooks, man. Always in our way."

Kooks always win. Kooks always win.

You shake your head again before looking around. "I can't shake this feeling like we're forgetting something huge."

"I think JB brought the Proof of Ownership certificate with us, but I'm sure the court has those files on hand, too," JJ says, trying to ease your worries.

"No it's not…" You shrug, giving up on explaining this to JJ. "Never mind, I'm probably just anxious."

"You sure?" JJ takes your nod for what it is– not at all assuring but a green light to proceed anyway. You both walk into the courthouse side by side, the perfect image of a united front. Pope and John B have saved you both a seat at the edge of their bench, and JJ steps back to let you slide in first. He settles beside you, his legs kicking out as he slouches against the backrest, but his attention doesn't stray from you. His gaze remains on your fingers as you wrap them around the edge of your green top, your nerves clearly needing a way to physically manifest themselves. JJ balls his hands in fists to stop himself from reaching out to hold your hand. That probably would do the opposite of consoling you.

He fights the urge all throughout the start of the hearing. His mind's still running through his spiral, and as he fails to pay attention, the hearing plays on a loop.

Kiara's mad. Property hearing. Groff's my dad. Kooks always win.

JJ watches as your group elects John B as their spokesperson. He listens to his speech and knows he should be choking up on emotion, but instead, all he can do is focus on his own thoughts. Eventually, the other side is speaking, and he hears something that draws his attention.

"So, what the, uh, current occupants of the land don't seem to understand is that there is an injunction to invalidate the most recent sale," JJ straightens in his seat, no longer able to play the part of uncaring. What does he mean by invalidate? "There was a pre-existing promissory note from the original owner that was in the process of being finalized when the land auction took place." JJ bristles. From the corner of his eye, he can sense the Pogue's confusion, but as he searches his mind for an answer, the pieces are coming together too quickly. The hotshot lawyer keeps speaking, but all JJ can concentrate on is 'previous owner.' Before the Pogues, it had been JJ's house. Which means the previous owner is…

"Where is the original owner? And can he validate the authenticity of this document?" the judge asks, to which Dale, the lawyer, responds affirmatively.

"He's right here," JJ turns slowly, the appalled gasps of the crowd barely registering past the blood thumping in his ear. There he is, Luke Maybank, his father. No – not his father. The man JJ had been thrown onto, never wanted and never loved, no matter what tiny moments JJ had believed they'd shared.

Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad.

Somewhere around him, JJ can hear words like 'son,' 'JJ's dad,' and 'fugitive.' The only clear sound comes from beside him: 'We were missing something.' None of that feedback matters, though. JJ can't focus on one thing long enough to process it. The world around him has reached a screeching halt, but his thoughts are neverending bursts of chaos. Of course Luke didn't show up to stand behind him, to support JJ in not losing the land that their fragile relationship had been tethered to.

"JJ, why would your dad–" Kiara's voice rings through to JJ from her spot next to Pope. JJ doesn't look up as he opens his mouth to respond, but your voice cuts in to answer for him.

"He's not his fucking dad," If JJ was in a more conscious state, he might have enough energy to flinch at your words and the lethal tone you spoke them in. Instead, his head falls, and he can feel it happening. The moment right before his chest completely constricts, and his legs carry him away, running from everything happening here. JJ stands up abruptly, facing the man who ruined him. Luke's eyes find JJ's immediately, and there is probably something he can read in them if he wants to, but JJ has no interest in that.

From a distance, he hears a familiar voice. She's shouting something about love and not being deserving of it. But it's not the right kind of feedback. He can't use it to reel himself in.

Property hearing. Kooks always win. Property hearing. Kooks always win. Property hearing. Kooks always win.

JJ's feet carry him towards Luke, but he doesn't stop, ignoring him. He walks right past him, and with a frenzied turn of his head, he searches for anything he can grab ahold of. His fingers twist around the smooth surface of a chair and he lifts it over his head. He intends to crash the chair into a window and get some goddamn air in this room, but he never gets the chance.

"JJ, no." It's you. You followed him? He looks up, his mind still not completely catching up with the moment, to see the rest of the Pogues crowding the front of the room. Then you. JJ scoffs at the fact that you feel the need to follow him. Always fucking babysitting him.

JJ's arms are being restrained by the security officer who stands by the courthouse door. As he resists the man's grip, another security guard joins in. JJ can hear you telling him to stop, to not 'spin out.'

"Take him out!" You yell at an officer, and as they drag him out the doors, JJ thinks he never wants to see you again. Your self-righteousness is so apparent in your features. You always know the right thing to do, and in your mind, JJ couldn't tell his right foot from his left.

"Let— let go of me!" JJ yells, his voice shaking with his body. "Stop!"

Eventually, the guards let go, and there you are again, your hands out in front of you in a cautious stance as if he's some animal that just escaped its cage. JJ can't see anything past red, and without Luke in front of him, you are slowly becoming his target. JJ needs to get past you and away before he does something he'd actually regret.

JJ charges past, or at least he feels like he is charging. In reality, his movements are slow, from the delirious state he's reaching, giving you the chance to step in front of him. You reach your arms out, pushing them against his chest, and the force is strong enough to shove him to the ground and not even there at the same time.

“Y/N.” JJ seethes. "Move."

"I won't let you do something you'll regret." JJ steps back, his hands coming up to pull at his hair. You are so frustrating. No. You are downright infuriating and he is so tired of it. You'd gotten in the way and gave him the chance to think about what he's doing. Thinking means feeling and feeling means he won't be able to stop from breaking down.

"JJ," your voice comes out soft, as if you are trying to coddle him, and it sounds so wrong coming from you. So fake. You don't care. You can't care. Because you see him for exactly what he is. You see him like mold that ruins everything it touches, making it irreparable. Yet, he finds himself wanting to let go of his inhibitions and lean into that softness. He wants to trust it and wrap himself up in it. Your voice seems to be the right kind of feedback. He's able to focus on it and grab onto it. But he's not ready to.

Property hearing. Kooks always win.

Tears are gathering in his eyes, and he looks around quickly to see if anyone is nearby. A few stragglers have left the courthouse, and he immediately runs to the back of the building. He knows you're hot on his trail, but right now, he needs to hide from prying eyes. Everyone will be looking to see how Luke Maybank's son reacts.

You don't say anything right away, and JJ relishes the moment of quiet. But all good things must come to an end, or so they say.

"JJ, you don't des—"

"Screw that!" JJ's voice is loud and full of disdain. "Screw what I deserve. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to call that place his. He's… he's not fit," JJ emphasizes his point by hitting the pads of his fingers against his temple. "Don't they see that?"

The look on your face doesn't feel like pity but JJ still doesn't want to see it. You can't care. Do you care?

"No, he doesn't. I know he doesn't," you agree, and JJ shakes his head. "But he doesn't deserve you throwing your life away for him."

"You don't get it. He's not fit," JJ's arms are being thrown in every direction as he made his point. "He's not fucking fit, and I have the receipts to prove it."

"What do you mean, JJ?" You ask with a note of hope that makes JJ's heart throb. "Is he not the actual owner? Did someone else own the property before?"

JJ sighs, a sound between a groan and a 'no' leaving his throat. "No— I… never mind."

He watches your face fall; that light in your eyes, the one he found too rarely, disappears again. With the final bit of fight seeping from his body he slumps against the wall of the courthouse, his head falling between his crossed arms. He doesn't expect you to meet him where he is, and you don't move for a moment, but then he feels your hand against his arm. You're massaging circles into his bicep and even with the added layers of his gray shirt and blue flannel, he feels like his skin is on fire. He's still angry, it seems, because everything feels like it's on fire with you here.

He lets you touch him still, unable to escape the heat. He doesn't lift his head or say a word, but he also doesn't move away. After a moment, he feels you rest your forehead against his shoulder. You both must look uncomfortable, the way he's curled into himself, and you are probably extending your neck far enough to reach his shoulder, but neither of you changes the position you're in.

His mind is silent. No loop, no spiral. JJ is unsure how long the two of you sit there like that, but nothing seems to be pulling you away from him until he hears a voice from around the corner.

"Let's check here," it's Pope's voice. When JJ lifts his head, he sees you haven't moved yours just yet. He has this lingering thought that he doesn't want Pope to find you just yet. Pope does, of course.

JJ makes eye contact with Pope and then with Kie. The speed with which that burning sensation leaves his body is as though a bucket of ice water has been dropped over him. Kie's face gives away nothing, but her eyes tell a different story. She's upset, but right now, he can't really find it in himself to care.

Kiara's mad. Kiara's mad. Kiara's mad.

"Guys," Pope speaks, only pausing for a second to take in the sight of you resting on JJ. You finally lift your head at his voice, pushing your body back so you aren't as close to JJ. "They're calling us in. Emptied everyone except us and Topper's team."

"You guys go ahead," It's you who speaks up for the both of you. "We'll be right behind you."

"Y/N, why don't you head in with Pope? I'll come with JJ," Kie's voice is void of malice, which JJ is relieved about. This whole thing is weird enough; he doesn't need Kie holding onto misplaced emotions because of your arrangement.

"Right," You nod, standing up. You look at JJ once giving him a nod as well. No consoling smile or encouraging words to part. Just a nod like you had this one under control. Great job, comrade.

And yet, he doesn't want you to go. He wants to stay like this for just a little while longer. He also knows he should want that with Kie. God, when had this all become so complicated?

He turns to the curly-haired girl, who is already offering him that sympathetic smile you failed to give him, and he realizes he kind of hates it. He always hates that smile, but he loves what's associated with it. Free range to fuck up as profoundly as he wants. For once, he doesn't want that pass. He wants to believe he can be better and not need it. Laughable, truly.

"Jayj, I'm so sorry." What else is she supposed to say, really? 'I'm sorry your dad's a piece of shit' basically sums it up. It still feels so pointless. "You deserve better family."

Alright, well now that one is definitely pointless.

"Yeah, well, "JJ shrugs, pushing his arm out to one side. He's gotten up now and is already walking towards the front of the courthouse. "We all do."

He knows she wants to say more, but he doesn't want to hear it right now. Kiara accepts that. He feels like there was a time she wouldn't have. She used to put him in his place, but somewhere along the way, she'd stopped. If he had to pinpoint a time, he thinks it was sometime after he'd spent his restitution money on that hot tub. She'd been so angry at first, but after seeing him all bruised up, she hadn't said anything again. She'd even argued with Pope and John B to let them keep the hot tub instead of returning it. In a way, Kie has accepted that this was JJ. He'd always be the guy who drew shit cards and kept gambling like he had a Royal Flush each round.

"Mr. Maybank, is it?" the judge asks as JJ walks up to the front. John B pats him on the shoulder, leaving his hand there for a while. JJ only nods in response to the judge. "I trust you've calmed down enough to be part of this conversation."

JJ nods once. The judge, still displeased, continues anyway. JJ knows Luke's still in the room; he saw him as soon as he came in. He's standing between Topper Thornton and his lawyer. He must feel like he's on top of the world, sandwiched between those Kooks, and untouchable. He always sort of was for JJ.

"As discussed during the trial, land ownership has been transferred from the original owner. Seeing as the property was auctioned off before these details were settled, the property is rightfully theirs."

"Judge, with all due respect, that's unfair," JJ can hear the voices of every adult who ever told him life's not fair as John B speaks. "When we purchased the land, we weren't told of any such issues. To punish us for the fault of another party is wrong."

The judge nods, not pleased with the situation either. "I agree, Mr. Routledge. However, these are not mere technicalities, and we must not treat them as such. I am sympathetic to you all, and for that, I've decided to grant you a one-week eviction notice."

JJ scoffs and is pleased to find out he's not the only one. He looks up at you, and when you notice, you roll your eyes as if you are the only ones who can see how idiotic this judge is.

"What about our money?" You say, your voice full of authority. You're not usually the one who speaks up in public, leaving that kind of work to Cleo, so JJ is surprised to hear you so sure of yourself. "We paid a lot of money for that property; if the auction is void, we should get that back."

JJ hadn't thought of that. He'd been so caught up in losing this dream he hadn't thought about the fact that the money could be returned to you. That it should be.

"I also agree with you, Ms. …" You don't fill in the space the judge leaves, instead sticking your nose up at the thought of sharing information about yourself. JJ does nothing to hide the smirk that comes out of him, subconsciously finding himself jutting his chin out to mimic you. The judge continues, but he does not looks happy about your display of rebellion.

"The sum you paid for the property should be returned to all of you. However, because this auction was done through a third party and not by this court, the money's return could take between three to six months."

The judge lifts his hands at the outburst of the Pogues, cutting them off. "This is completely out of your control, but it is out of my control as well. I've decided that until the money from the auction has been returned, no work can be done on the old Maybank property."

This time, the Kooks in the room react poorly to the news. JJ should be glad it's not all smooth sailing for the Kooks, but they'll still get there eventually. What's there to celebrate in that? The judge continues, going between appeasing you all and the Kooks and then going over the ground rules.

The Pogues must leave by the following Wednesday at 12 pm.

The Kooks may not remove any structures or begin work until the money has been returned to the Pogues.

There will be another hearing between the two parties and the judge when the money has been returned and construction may only proceed then.

There's more. So many rules, all of them pointless.

JJ walks out behind all the Pogues except you. You're walking next to JJ again, with a little more space. No one speaks.

"JJ," JJ stills at the voice of his father. He can hear it already, that tilt of apology present. JJ never could figure out if it was real. If his dad would have these moments of clarity, he could see just how cruel he was or if it was just a way to get JJ to keep coming back.

JJ sighs, as if he'd rather be anywhere else than having this conversation, but he wants to hear the reason for the betrayal.

"What?" JJ asks, his voice full of nonchalance that doesn't belong in this conversation. Topper and his family have already headed towards the parking lot, leaving only Luke, JJ, and the other Pogues.

"JJ, I'm sorry," Luke starts, inching closer but stopping when JJ steps forward. When Luke's sober, he's a bit of a coward. You gotta believe me; I had no choice."

"Could've been a man and gone to prison," JJ shrugs. "Simple as that." Luke's face is small, so different from how he looks in his fits of rage.

"Son, please—" JJ flinches at the term. Son. He hates how much he loves it.

Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad.

Suddenly, he doesn't want to have this conversation anymore.

"You don't deserve him," It's Kie who speaks up from somewhere behind him. "You don't deserve his love."

JJ wants to vomit. Do they know he loves Luke? Do they not believe him when he pretends not to care? He doesn't want them to see through his act.

"I'm talking to my son," Luke is shooting daggers at Kie, but she keeps going.

"Don't call him that. He loves you, and you betray—"

"Kie, stop." JJ mumbles, but she doesn't.

"You betrayed him. He's so much better than what you gave him."

JJ's mumbling for Kiara to stop, but it's like she doesn't hear him. Or maybe he's not actually speaking out loud. He feels you then, brushing past him and walking past Kiara, who's come closer to where JJ is standing. You stride up to Luke and JJ wants to pick you up and tuck you away. He knows Luke's basically harmless when he's sober, but he still wants you nowhere near him.

He watches as your hands grab the front of Luke's worn-out shirt, pulling him down to your level. Your voice is low as you speak, but the words still ring loudly.

"You're a piece of shit who got in my way," Your teeth are grinding against each other. "Watch your back." You let go with a hard shove that pushes Luke farther back than someone who didn't know you would expect you to be able to accomplish. "And leave JJ and us alone, asshole."

You don't even wait to watch what Luke does, turning around and grabbing JJ's wrist to lead him to the Twinkie. You're mumbling something under your breath the whole way to the Twinkie that JJ can't understand. When you finally reach the Twinkie, you remove your hand from JJ's arm and cross them across your chest.

"He's such a piece of shit," you whine, and JJ almost wants to laugh. One because you're telling him? And two, because you look practically childlike in your anger, and after such a devastating loss, it's almost a relief. There are no pitying comments in an attempt to soften the blow Luke landed. With JJ, certain steps need to be performed at specific temperatures. Right now, when he's cooled down, but his hand is still on the knob to start the stove, he needs to pretend that nothing is happening. And if he can't do that, he needs to pretend that what's happening isn't a problem unique to him. Somehow, you know exactly how to handle him right now.

You're making the problem one he can share with you. He doesn't have to shoulder it alone and he doesn't have to feel like he's the only one drowning. He can use you to come up to the surface.

"That he is," JJ whistles, then smirks as a thought strikes him. "How'd you like meeting your father-in-law?"

You stare at him momentarily, your eyes comically wide, before you smile at him. Your smile against the backdrop of these circumstances feels like agony and he thinks he may be a masochist.

"Think I may start calling him daddy."

"Aye, that title's reserved for me—"

"Okay, okay," you shut him up, your arms coming up to shove at his chest lightly. You're laughing though. Your real laugh, the choking one. JJ's hands come up to catch yours, tugging you closer, and he relishes how your eyes become hooded, the only indication that his being near you does anything. Fuck, why does it do something?

"You've got the keys," your voice is even, and you don't move away from his grip, almost making him second-guess whether he really does have any effect on you at all. "Unlock the car."

JJ reaches into his pants pocket and then the next, following with the one stitched into his flannel. He's making a show of not being able to find the keys because he knows how you'll react, and he wants that sense of normalcy.

"JJ, I swear to God if you lost the keys," JJ quickly brandishes the keys from his flannel pocket, giving you a sideways look. You just roll your eyes and get into the back seat. You don't sit next to him when he gets in the driver's seat, and when Kie takes the passenger seat instead, he guesses that makes sense.

The week following the town hall meeting had been painful, to say the least. It felt like everyone was tiptoeing around one another, afraid to directly address the issue and too stubborn to let go. The Pogues had tried to come up with solutions the evening they returned and the following day. Every option thrown in the middle of their circle seemed like it would be their life raft, but soon enough, they’d find a dozen holes in it. The Pogues were used to working in the gray, but this issue had them working in black and white. The problem was too entangled in legal technicalities to find a backdoor solution.

You and the other girls are gathered in Sarah and John B’s cramped room because Sarah had said she felt too sick to get out of bed.

“What are you feeling?” You ask Sarah, whose head is resting against your thigh. She has a lethargic look painted across her features that’s making you tired.

“Mm, don’t know,” Sarah mumbles. “Just feel tired.”

“You must’ve caught a bug,” Kie says from where she’s sprawled out on the floor. “Just gotta rest.”

Your hands run through Sarah’s hair to comfort her, but your mind keeps wondering what’ll happen tomorrow. No one is addressing the issue, and even though there’s been ample time to pack, no one has begun to do so either.

“Where are we gonna go?” Your voice is hushed, afraid to be the one to bring it up. The atmosphere doesn’t shift so much as it intensifies. The threat of leaving this home is constantly looming over you all, but you’re bringing it down and covering the group with it by putting it into words.

Cleo sighs from her corner of the bed, “We’re gonna go with Pope to his parents’.”

That much you had assumed. It was like when you arrived from Poguelandia and crashed in their living room. Your question had been more abstract.

“Um, no,” Sarah says, and you can hear the nausea in her voice. It sounds like her words are escaping past a literal lump in her throat. “Y/N has to stay with JJ. You’ll come with John B and me.”

“Sarah, come on. It’s not that serious,” You argue. Your eyes find Kie’s, who has sat up a little and is already looking at you. You hadn’t had the conversation with her yet, and now it feels a bit pointless. You had already married JJ, so what was the point in running it by her? At least that’s what you’re telling yourself. In reality, you have built the conversation up so much that it felt like too high a wall to climb now.

Sarah lifts her head from your lap, “It is exactly that serious. What kind of married couple splits up a week after their wedding?” You bite back your bitter reply of a ‘fake one,’ not wanting another lecture from Sarah.

“Well, where exactly are we going? Because the Chateau doesn’t exist anymore.” Sarah’s entire expression changes. She’s biting her lip in a way that makes it seem like she’s sorry more than anxious.

“So I went to see Rafe after he stopped by at the shop,” Sarah starts, her eyes flitting to the side. “He, uh, was talking about trying to… reconcile our family.”

You’re sure you’re staring at Sarah as if she has two heads. In what world is Rafe Cameron going to save their family?

“And you told him to shove whatever plan he was brewing up his ass, right?” Cleo asks. You hum in agreeance.

“I know it sounds crazy. Trust me, if anyone knows how untrustworthy he is, it’s me. But… it makes the most sense right now.” Sarah’s picking at her cotton pajama shorts, avoiding you and Cleo’s eyes. Kiara rises from the floor and sits next to Cleo.

“You’re planning on staying in his house… with him?” Kie’s voice is dripping with well-founded disbelief and defensible judgment.

“I’m not doing that,” You add.

“No, of course not,” Sarah finally looks up. “He has a one-bedroom apartment he bought to lease and said John B and I can take it.”

“And you trust that?”

“No, but I trust that he said we can call a guy to change the locks. And that he’ll finance it.” You tilt your head in semi-approval. At least she’s thought it through somewhat. Picking up on the fact that you aren’t entirely convinced, she adds, “It’s our best bet, Y/N. Where else are me, you, and Kie gonna go.”

She’s right, but knowing she’s right doesn’t make it easier to accept this is where fate has taken you. You’d never met someone as evil and, frankly, unhinged as Rafe Cameron. He’d tried to drown his sister, for crying out loud. Now, you were going to trust him to shelter you?

“So, let me get this straight,” Cleo leans forward. “We’re trusting Rafe Cameron to give you a safe space? That’s like giving a kleptomaniac the keys to your shop and asking him to watch it.”

“What– what other choice do we have?” Sarah’s voice wavers, but she looks resolute about her choice. “I can’t just let us fall apart. Not again. I need to make this work, and if that means trusting Rafe, then so be it.”

You can’t argue with her when you hear how much this means to her. If five of you are together, that’s still better than zero.

“Um,” You turn to look at Kie. “I’m gonna go stay with my parents.” You lock eyes with Cleo, both of you silently acknowledging how out of character this is for Kiara. Kiara’s relationship with her parents is rocky. Not in the way it was for JJ or Sarah, but her childhood home is not a place of comfort for her. She’s doing this because of you and JJ. Which makes no sense because you and he are nothing.

“Kie, you’re coming with us,” You insist.

“No,” Kie shakes her head. “I’m not. A one-bedroom can’t fit five people, and apparently, you’ve gotta stay with JJ. Guess the rest of us have to figure it out alone.” The bitter tone in her voice is not missed, and you’re scrambling to find something to take it away. Kiara may not be the closest to you, but she is your family. You love her like you love Sarah and Cleo. You don’t want to lose her because of a guy you don’t even like romantically.

You love them all, and they’re all slipping out of your grasp. Kiara’s bitterness, Sarah’s desperate optimism, and Cleo’s lack of contesting all leave you feeling like the ground is being taken out from under you. Then there’s JJ– residing in your mind in the form of a shadow and complicating everything.

One moment, he’s behaving so much like the reckless boy who drives you crazy, his words biting and his actions thoughtless. He makes you want to scream, but when you least expect it, he’s pulling you in close and shielding you from the chaos — even when he’s the cause. His touch is always steady, anchoring you to this convoluted reality. That part of him — the one that seems like his rawest, most unguarded self — gives you whiplash. He’s a mess you feel you’re constantly cleaning and a safety net continually catching you.

“Kie–” You try to get her attention.

“Hey, Sar, I’m gonna go make you some soup. Just… call the boys back. Let’s have our last dinner.”

You're not sure how the night had rushed by you so quickly. The dinner had been a haze of forced conversation, and the night had been full of drunken suppression. No one reminisced about their time at Poguelandia 2.0 and discussed how much they'd miss it. That might be something you'd all regret in the future, but it seemed like your last line of defense last night, to live in denial.

You're all outside the house now, the early morning sun mocking you. The sun isn't gentle. It beats down on you but does nothing to warm you from the chill washing down your spine. The sharp light cuts you out of your thoughts of the wasted night, a cruel reminder that it's all over. Pope and Kie's parents drove up to help transfer their belongings, but they were waiting further away to give you all privacy. The yard, which you had loved for its spaciousness, feels too small. You could see Mr. Heyward leaning against his truck, trying to maintain a respectful distance from the group. Kie's dad had packed his car with her belongings and immediately sat back in the driver's seat, never wanting to interact with the rest of you. You know Pope's dad is carrying your grief with you all, but you wonder if Kiara's dad feels more smug– like he finally gets his chance to shout, 'I told you so!' You want to beg Kiara not to give up, not to go back to their house, but you don't because you think you're the last person she'll listen to.

You're unsure how many hugs Sarah gives you, but she won't stop even though you are both going to the same place. Cleo isn't holding it together nearly as well as you thought she would. The strongest girl you know is failing at hiding the tremor in her voice, and it's throwing you off balance.

"You sure you and JJ can't just crash with us?" She asks, resting her hand on your arm.

You shake your head. "We'd just make it harder for you guys." You can see on Cleo's face that that isn't the right thing to say, so you add, "Plus, Pope would get back pains after we force him to sleep on the floor."

Cleo gives you a shakey smile before pulling you in toward her. She hugs you tighter than ever before, and you return it tenfold. She'd been your rock since you were fourteen. You'd never spent a night more than a few rooms away from her, and now you'd be on different sides of this island, which you felt you were still learning some days. You didn't know how to survive without her guiding your way.

"I'll call you," She whispers.

"Every day," You promise.

When you pull away, you see JJ standing in the corner with Kie. He looks like he's trying to convince her of something, his hands waving as he speaks. Kie has that determined look on her face that you always admired. She doesn't look like she'll budge about whatever they're discussing. You don't want to stare at this private moment between them but can't tear your eyes away. Is he pleading with her? Apologizing? Only saying goodbye?

You don't have to watch Kiara and JJ for much longer because suddenly she's stepping away from him with her hand out to halt his motions. That's the last you see of Kiara before she walks away from the slowly dispersing group. Pope and Cleo are the next to go, leaving a hole in your heart that you're not sure you'll ever fill.

The ride to Rafe's apartment is quiet, even quieter than the ride you four had taken to the courthouse the day of your wedding. When you finally reach the building, no one announces the arrival and no one talks until you enter the apartment. It's a grand apartment, fully furnished and nicely decorated. You'd expect nothing less from a Kook property, and it makes you want to tear apart every – probably custom-made – painting on the wall. Why do they have to have everything?

"Fucking Kooks," JJ mumbles, taking in the room. "Fucking Kooks."

"Couldn't Rafe have just bought the land? " John B. adds, and it feels like a stab to the chest.

You can hear Pope commenting with some smart-ass comment or shockingly sassy remark, but he isn't here, and no one fills the silence.

You don't bother unpacking your suitcase; you're so used to living out of limited storage space. Instead, you help Sarah hang her clothes while the boys go to the grocery store to get a couple of essentials. Sarah is in the restroom, and you've just finished hanging the last of John B's printed button-downs. For a Pogue, he sure did have a lot of shit.

"Oh my God!" You hear a screech from the connected restroom, startling you. You drop the shirt you just picked up from Sarah's box of clothes.

With your heart in your throat, you approach the restroom door, "Sarah?"

"Oh my God, oh my God," Sarah continues to repeat the three words, her alarm rising each time.

"Sarah, open up," When she doesn't reply but her panic persists, you try the knob and find the restroom is unlocked. "I'm coming in," you warn and rush in without waiting for a response.

Sarah is bent over the sink, her left hand covering her mouth. Her right arm is hidden from your view, and she's shaking.

"What happened?" You ask, leaning forward to find some semblance of an answer.

Sarah doesn't say anything, but she pushes her right arm out towards you. Her lips are pursed in a thin line, her cheeks void of color. You take a moment to process what she is showing you. In her hand is a blue and white stick, and you take it from her hand to inspect it closer.

"Holy shit."

It's a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test. Sarah's positive pregnancy test.

"Is this…"

"It's real," Sarah whispers. You look up at her, and she returns your stare as if she is expecting you to explain this to her.

"What are you going to do?" It isn't the right thing to say in this situation, but it's the first thing you can think of.

"I don't know," Sarah's voice breaks, and her emotions flood out. "I mean, I'm nineteen. I'm living in my murderous brother's rental property because we don't even have jobs. Babies are expensive! I need a job. What will JB thi–"

"Hey, hey," you say, placing the pregnancy test on the counter and stepping toward her to cut off her rambling. Breathe, Sar. Just breathe." Her chest is heaving, and you exaggerate your breathing to model what you need from her. When she begins to calm down and matches her breath to yours, you ask, "Is this something you want?"

Sarah lets out something between an inhale and a whimper. At first, she shakes her head, but something changes when she turns to the sink, and her eyes catch on the test. Her shoulders fall, but instead of devastation, you see relief.

"I want this so bad," She whispers. You agree with everything she said: having a baby in her situation doesn't fit, but you can't help but smile at her. "I didn't think I would, but if I am…" Her hand rests on her stomach, a streak of protectiveness you are both used to seeing from her and is entirely foreign to you. "I'd want to keep it."

Your chest swells with warmth. "Then that's what you'll do," you tell her firmly. "And we'll all be here for you. Every step of the way." You offer her a confident smile, and she returns it with a hesitant curve of her lip.

"I'm going to have a baby," Sarah whispers again, but her smile seems impossible to contain as she says it.

You laugh, pulling her in for a hug, "You're going to have a baby."

Sarah tightly winds her arms around you, "I can't do this alone."

After so many years, you want to cry for the hundredth time in the past two weeks. This beautiful girl who loves so freely is afraid no one will love her enough to endure this trial with her. Her tumultuous relationship with her family aside, your new family has been torn apart, and she's finding out there's going to be a new and very dependent member.

"And you never will be," You promise. "This baby's got a village."

"Baby," she squeals. Your laughter bubbles up and washes over the room, blocking out the weight of the world for this moment—this moment between two friends and their shared joy, hope, fear, love, and life.

You'd decided you'd wait for Sarah to tell John B about the baby before you left the apartment. You had to. John B and Sarah would need privacy and space to grow their family. A one-bedroom was already too small for that task, and adding two grown adult roommates would worsen the situation. You'd already shared the bedroom with Sarah the night before when John B had insisted he'd take the couch. You couldn't keep that up.

You didn't know where you'd go, but maybe you could take Cleo's offer to stay with her and Pope. JJ would have to bite the bullet and stay with Kie at her parents. You'd figure it out. But you didn't want to be more of a burden than you already were on your best friends.

John B and Sarah had left the following evening to go on a walk, where Sarah would tell him the good news. You'd figured you'd use that chance to explain to JJ what was happening.

"Hey," you announce your presence, though it seems a bit unnecessary since you are both on opposite ends of the same couch.

JJ directs his attention away from his phone and to you, "Yeah?"

"So, I needed to tell you something," JJ must notice how serious you are because he shuts off his phone and tilts his body to face you. "It's about our living arrangement."

"You wanna stay with Cleo?" He asks. "That must be hard."

You weren't sure if anyone else had noticed how much separation from Cleo affected you, but apparently, JJ had enough insight to assume it would.

"No, uh, it's not that," JJ waits for you to continue. "But what I'm about to say is a secret. Like, a huge one. So no one can know."

This makes JJ's brows knit together in confusion. "Okay? What is it?"

"Sarah's pregnant." JJ's jaw drops with humorous speed before he begins to open and shut it. He's sputtering, unable to form a thought.

"Relax," You say, giving him a peculiar look. "You're not the father."

"She's pregnant? John B's gonna be a dad?"

You nod, letting him process this however he needs the time to. JJ sinks back into the couch as if he is being physically hit with the news.

"Wow," his hands run through his hair. "Parents. They're gonna be parents," JJ shakes his head, and you wish you could be in his mind at this moment. Is he being judgmental? Is he worried?

"Wait, are they?" He asks suddenly, sitting up straighter. "Does she want us to— does she need our help. Is that why you're telling me?" It takes you a moment to understand what he means.

"No, she doesn't need us for anything like that," you assure him, a bit caught off guard by his awareness of situations like these. JJ isn't the most emotionally intelligent guy, at least you don't think so, and his awareness of other potential options is a bit of a surprise. "They're going to be parents."

"Wow, that's… amazing," He mumbles. "For them. Could not be me, but good for them." You laugh, the JJ you know poking through from behind all the maturity.

"Yeah, agreed," JJ chuckles at your grave tone. "But that's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Right," He nods, suddenly remembering the start of this conversation.

"We need to leave. The apartment, I mean. They'll need their space, and we can't overstay our welcome."

"Where would we even go?" JJ rubs his hand against his clean-shaven jaw.

"I could stay with Cleo, and you'd probably hate this, but Kie's parents—"

"What? No way," JJ leans forward again, his expression tightening. "We're not splitting up."

"We aren't?" You ask dumbly. You had expected JJ to push back on leaving the apartment. It may have had just one bedroom, but it was better than any home he'd had before. Plus, it was much better than encroaching on the Carrera's property for him. You hadn't expected him to be concerned about you two going your own ways.

"We have to stick together." There's a certainty in his stare and an edge to his voice that has you second-guessing yourself. It pins you in place and leaves you defenseless. "Or none of this will look real."

Oh. Right. What else would he have been concerned about?

"I doubt Kie or Pope's parents would blow our cover," you say, keeping your voice light, hoping to conceal any disorientation. JJ gives you a pointed look, and you sheepishly correct yourself: "Maybe Mike, but we can find a way past that."

JJ sighs, not laughing at your light attempt at humor, "We're not splitting up."

"We don't have anywhere to go, though," You sigh. "Remember, you said it yourself, no one else will cover for us."

JJ's shoulders fall, and he gives you a look that makes you want to take back everything you've ever said. He looks so… fragile. You may have missed it if you weren't looking at him as closely as you are, but it's undeniably there.

"We cover each other," he shrugs, and with those four words, he speaks so nonchalantly that he eases the weight you've felt growing on your shoulders. He sighs again, leaning back against the couch. "I know somewhere we can crash."

You wouldn't have imagined going along with that uncomfortably vague statement a week ago, but now you had no other option. All you can do is follow JJ blindly, even though your trust in him is hanging by a fragile thread. For once in your life, you don't bother asking questions. You're too exhausted to try to piece together your next steps as diligently as usual. You'll figure it out later.

When Sarah and John B returned, you'd tried your best to arrange a celebratory dinner for them. You'd used the ridiculously expensive glassware Rafe had stocked the apartment with – because, of course, Kooks that could afford real estate on this side of the Island couldn't buy their own plates and cups – and put a very fancy peanut butter and jelly sandwich on each plate. It was all you could do, but you made Sarah's a double-decker for what it's worth. It hadn't made you feel great that you could hear her hurling the contents of her dinner from your spot in the living room (JJ had gotten a good laugh out of that).

It had taken a lot of convincing and even more tears for Sarah and John B to agree to let you go. They had reasonably questioned where you planned to stay, and JJ mentioned something about a Jim Buckley. The name meant nothing to you, but John B seemed to understand. John B had looked apprehensive but hadn't shut the idea down completely, which made you feel better. He'd even driven the Twinkie to drop you two off while Sarah turned in earlier than usual. You'd held her tight and whispered your promise to her again. You and JJ separating from them was only physical. Nothing could keep you away from that baby now that you knew they existed.

When John B pulls up to what looks like a dock, you step out of the car to give him and JJ privacy. They'reTheir connection is like yours and Cleo's. You've seen how they communicate without words and how sometimes the only person who can reel JJ in is John B. Saying goodbye will be painful, even with the sweet reminder of who you're all doing this for now.

You take the time to figure out where you are. The dock extends over a large lake, not the ocean. There'sThere are only a few man-made lakes in the OBX since most Kooks are in the market for real estate by the ocean. You notice a secluded mansion that seems like it touches the sky. In typical Kook fashion, it's humongous, but unlike most other mansions, the nearest house to it is a few miles down.

When JJ exits the Twinkie, his eyes are misty, but you don't comment on it. Instead, you'd sidle up to his side, your entire demeanor asking him what's next. You hate this– not knowing and not being in control. You never relinquish your control unless it's to Cleo, and it took a few years before you could get to that place with her. The itch for control is catching up to you.

"Why are we at a dock? Whose house is that?"

"That would be Jim Buckley's house. Used to maintain his boat for him when I was younger." You nod, waiting for him to expand on that, but he doesn't.

"And he's going to kindly let us stay with him?" You ask, a false sense of hope laced in your tone. You know that's not happening.

JJ snorts, "Yeah, right. No, we're gonna crash on this fine boat of his." JJ waves his hand in front of him, towards the water. You look at the dock, and there, tied firmly to a post, is a cabin cruiser. More specifically, a Yellowfin 54. You'd dreamed of having one since you were fifteen, and after moving to the Island, you would enviously look at each one you passed.

"We're gonna stay here?" You ask with a slight pep in your voice. You try your best to mask that little bit of excitement and focus on the issue at hand. "We can't. We'll get caught."

"Don't gotta worry about that," JJ shrugs, heading towards the boat. You follow him as he explains further. "Jim's usually flying internationally for business and the missus is usually miles away at Kelce's dad's place when that happens."

"She's cheating on him?" You gasp.

JJ waves his hand behind him, "It's fine. Jim's probably doing the same in, like, China."

"Um, okay. I'm going to ignore how you know this, but what about maintenance. If they're never here, it must be in horrible shape."

"I used to do maintenance for them, and I know for a fact they have someone take care of it every Tuesday at ten a.m., without fail," JJ offers, and you can't lie that your nerves are calming a bit. "He uses it when he's in town, and Janet puts him in the dog house."

"And Janet is Mrs. Buckley?" You ask.

"Yes, ma'am, she is," JJ stops right in front of the boat, turning to smirk at you. "I was wondering when you'd start your interrogation."

"Shut up," you roll your eyes and sidestep him to get up onto the boat. You don't take the hand JJ's offering you; instead, you stick your hand out so he can use you as support. JJ gives you a sarcastic smile but still takes your hand. He doesn't let go as he guides you to the front of the boat. Lifting the cushion of one of the seats, he pulls out a small key.

"Jackass still keeps it here," JJ mumbled, throwing the key up before catching it in his fist. He has that dangerous look on his face, the one he gets when he's winning a risky gamble. JJ leads you to a short, narrow door on the side of the boat. Before he places the key in the lock, he pulls you in, searching your eyes. He seems like he's waiting on you. For what exactly, you're not sure, but he doesn't deter his staring. You don't have to voice your concerns. He's used to you badgering him with your distrust.

Still, you say one thing. "JJ, someone could find us."

"I know," he nods. His voice is quiet but steady. He's grounding you again, tethering you. He doesn't cut into your concerns. Instead, he catches them and holds them with care and understanding. "You don't have to trust this, but try to trust me,"

"Impossible, I know," he says. A small laugh bubbles past his lips, his expression genuinely amused. He steps forward then, using the hand that's still clad in yours to pull you towards him. The smile leaves his face, but his voice softens as he speaks. "But will you try? For us?"

The air around you compresses, pushing you two together until there is space for nothing except a little spark between your chests. A spark ignited by the words Us. That word hits you like a bad wave wiping you off your board. In a literal sense, you are an us, two people in this together. But it means so much more. Like, after you step into the cabin, everything will change. There won't be a you or JJ. There won't even be a you and JJ. It'll only be an Us. One unit. For better or for worse, it's Us.

"I-I'll try," you stammer. JJ gives you a grateful smile.

"We'll lay ground rules, make sure no one catches us," JJ promises. There really is nowhere else to go, and all you can do right now is either give this a shot or sleep on the streets. "And if we get caught, at least the jails have cots." Or that.

You hit your hand against JJ's arms, and he pulls away, laughing. He takes two small steps away from you, but the spark doesn't snap. It grows. No amount of distance can extinguish it now.

He puts the key into the lock and opens the cabin door. You note that the door doesn't creek. He ducks his head and crouches to step inside, flicking the switch to his right. The dim light spills out around him. You follow his lead, his hand– still holding yours– pulling you through despite any lingering hesitation.

The interior looks exactly as you remember seeing it online when you would mindlessly scroll. The "lounge" area consists of a leather couch built into the floor, a sink with a microwave over it, a fridge under it, and two doors. If your research is correct, one door will lead to a full-sized bed, and the other will lead to a restroom that makes a porta-potty seem big. You'd dreamed of having a boat like this for vacations and fishing days. You'd never wanted it to be your home. After you'd left Terrance, you hadn't wanted to return to ship life, but at least it wasn't foreign to you. You'd know how to maintain it and make it work.

JJ strokes his thumb against the skin of your hand as he announces, "Home sweet home."

"Home sweet home," You agree.

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lifeislikeasong · 2 years ago

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I Have Always Loved You - Ellie Bixler (Human) x Fem Reader fic!

ATTN: @heartof-flies @gaym0m

It's here! Thanks for your patience, my sweet little followers. I had so much fun with this story. Human Ellie has a special place in my heart, and like I've said before, our girl deserved better.

WARNING: So, Jay is a complete dick in this. So is their Mom. There is a mention of S.A and domestic abuse.

I truly hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it (it's a particularly long read)

A/N: Please do not share to other sites without my permission.

Happy reading, my loves! xxx

EDIT: I'm considering turning this into a series - so, if anyone's interested let me know and I'll see what I can do! 😘

PROLOGUE:

Making your way towards your usual cafe at the end of the street, which is conveniently adjacent to Beth’s music store, Ellie’s tattoo studio and your law office; you thought about your two best friends, and smiled at the fact that you still continue to catch up in the exact same spot after all these years.

You often meet up three times a week for coffee or lunch, depending on how busy you all are. In between those times, you would all spend your free time at each other’s apartments. Conveniently, you all lived in the same building; a beautiful big Brownstone with apartments either next to or above the other. During those ‘down times’ the three of you often spent time helping each other out; whether it was yourself and Beth helping Ellie babysit her kids, you and Ellie cleaning up Beth’s absolute mess of an apartment, or Ellie and Beth making sure you had a fridge full of food for those long work days. Your evenings always ended in the company of your two best friends; no matter how the days went.

So it’s suffice to say the three of you were inseparable. 20 years of friendship will do to you.

However…there was always something more between you and Ellie.

She knew it.

You knew it.

Even Beth knew it. She even teased each of you about it; not while you were in each other's company, of course…cause - awkward!

See, Ellie had a way of making you feel alive; like she had awakened something in you that you previously didn’t know existed. For the life of you, you couldn’t explain why you suddenly found yourself smiling more often than not, or why your heart beat just that little bit faster whenever she entered the room, or why you suddenly missed each other after an extended period of time apart.

Ellie always found herself gravitating towards you whether you were out in public, or at home. You often found yourselves sitting close together on the couch or at the dining table; your legs and shoulders gently brushing up against each other caused goosebumps to appear on Ellie’s slender, but incredibly strong arms. The mere scent of her perfume drove you wild; a burning feeling always sitting low in your belly.

You often complimented each other and always offered supportive words of encouragement; as friends usually do. But still, there was always a deeper meaning behind every action, and each and every word. Beth would tease the two of you if you would playfully bicker like an old married couple; usually over who forgot to put the milk back in the fridge or put the laundry away. There were times when she would catch you two staring at the other, blissfully unaware of the longing gaze plastered on your faces whenever your backs were turned.

Beth would also tease you over the fact that you would often make excuses to see each other in the middle of the day, memorising your favourite coffee orders and dropping it off at your respective workplaces.

Even something as simple as text messages or phone calls would make your stomach flutter. A genuine, loving smile would appear on your face at the sight of her name popping up on your lockscreen. Ellie always seemed to reach out at precisely the right moment; somehow sensing you needed a distraction while under pressure at work. She’d try, and fail miserably to send you memes, which you found absolutely endearing.

You would also leave each other voice messages. Ellie had panic attacks ever since she was a kid which continued well into her adult life. You were the one person who she could depend on to calm her down, so she’d immediately call you; you’d answer every call you possibly could, but on the off chance you were away from your phone, you’d leave her a voice message with everything she needed to hear. Ellie would sit back, close her eyes and focus on the sound of your voice, feeling instantly soothed and calmed.

You and Ellie were fans of 90’s R&B band, Boyz II Men. Your joint favourite song was ‘4 Seasons of Loneliness’. Whenever you heard that song on the radio, or even playing randomly in Beth’s store, you couldn’t help but think of each other; imagining slow dancing in each other's arms. Beth would sometimes play it on purpose to get under your skin, as cheeky as she was. It was undoubtedly ‘your song’; it said everything about how you feel towards one another and then some. You lost your band t-shirt recently, and unbeknownst to you, Ellie still had hers; she very thoughtfully gave it to you, but, as worn down as it was, since she knew what it meant to you; it being the first concert you ever went to together. You were touched by her sweet gesture and wore that t-shirt to bed or when you're lying on the couch at home watching movies. There were times you’d subconsciously wear the shirt in Ellie’s presence which made her heart soar to the heavens above. It still has Ellie’s scent on it, and everytime you wear it, you feel wrapped up in her warmth.

There were moments when you thought for sure you would finally get together; the sexual tension between you palatable. Your gazes lingered, your hugs always lasted a few seconds longer than regular hugs with Beth and the kids; and you offered to give each other massages to help ease the stress after long, tiring days. Ellie fussed over you and worried about how much pain you would be in after sitting at a desk for hours on end or how your muscles would tense up when you’d be deep in thought about a new case. You also knew how hard she worked, sitting hunched over while tattooing her clients or cleaning up after her kids.

Insisting on sitting between each others’ legs, long fingers worked gently, slowly and tenderly to work the large knots that formed in your shoulders. No words were spoken between you as you just simply enjoyed each others’ presence; the closeness and romance simmering beneath the surface; only little sounds of contentment, sighs and moans escaping lips. Your minds wandered, thinking about what other sounds you could entice out of the other.

What would happen if I gently kissed her neck, just there? I’d give anything to slowly wrap my arms around her waist right now, hold her close and never let go. You’d both be thinking.

Eyes wandering to necks, thinking about lips running down the side, over collar collarbones; back to lips…

It felt so good to have each other so close; but hurt to be so far away…

When she married Jay, it broke your heart even though you knew she didn’t love him. You did your best to be supportive, but seeing her with him devastated you.

It shattered Ellie’s heart when you got together with your previous girlfriend; she tried her best to hide her jealousy. Yes, although she was married, it pained her to see you with someone else.

Even so, while you were with your respective ‘partners’, you still couldn’t help but seek out each others’ presence. There wasn’t really any love between you or your previous girlfriend. Sure, you cared deeply for them, but something was missing. They didn’t make you feel the way Ellie did, let alone loved you like you deserved. When you were with them, they were emotionally distant and manipulative; taking you for granted - you felt alone; not able to be your true self; like you were with Ellie. Regardless, you knew they were cheating on you and while you refused to acknowledge it, you tried your best to make it work; wanting to block out your true feelings.

In the end you couldn’t take it anymore, ultimately breaking up.

Yes, you had one night stands with other women - wanting to fill the void, but nothing ever came close to what you wish you had with Ellie. No amount of sex or alcohol could stop you from feeling incredibly lonely.

Ellie and Jay were going through their own turmoil. He was an abusive, controlling husband and was only with Ellie because she was successful and somewhat wealthy. In other words, he used her for sex and money before cheating on and divorcing her, relinquishing his parental rights, taking off with his new girlfriend and marrying her in another country.

Ellie confided in you and Beth that she was never in love with him, as she was more or less forced into marrying him because of her mother - since she got pregnant with Bridget in her first year of college at a frat party. Ellie was drunk, and Jay took advantage of her.

Beth and Ellie’s mother cared about social status and felt it wasn’t a good look for her eldest daughter to have a baby out of wedlock, regardless of the abuse Ellie was subjected to. Not only that, their Mom knew Ellie was gay, so she did whatever she could to hide that fact from her socialite friends; thinking Ellie’s ‘lifestyle’ would reflect negatively on her; impacting or discrediting her social status. Thus, making the decision by coercing her daughter into marrying a horrible excuse of a man. She was fully aware of the abuse Ellie suffered, but none of that mattered to her.

When her mom died, Ellie finally found the courage to put an end to her sham of a marriage and move on with her life.

All of this had taken place four years ago…

She too, had slept with a few women, but no one could fill that void; the love she so desperately wanted - the love she wanted from you.

God knows you wanted to be together, but for whatever reason time never seemed to be on your side.

In truth, you were both scared of being open and brutally honest with each other; either in fear of getting hurt again, or losing each other. The last thing you each wanted to do was ruin your friendship.

Which is probably why you’ve wasted the last four years….

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 1:

Your mind raced as you tried to find the confidence to break your news to your friends. It had been brewing for the past month or so, but you didn’t say anything until it was set in stone. You figured there was no point in upsetting anyone in case nothing ever came of this promotion.

You had a habit of overthinking, and did your best to calm yourself down before arriving at the cafe.

As you eventually made your way to the end of the street, you were snapped out of your deep thought process by the sound of Ellie’s voice.

Your stomach fluttered at the sight of her.

“Hey, Y/N”, she beamed at you, her voice as sweet as honey.

“Hey, Ellie”, you smiled back, a little reserved.

She reached for you and brought you in for a hug. You lost yourself in her for a few seconds, briefly forgetting the news you had to share.

Tensing, you let go of her.

Ellie frowned, slightly taken aback, as she bent down to look you in the eye.

You avoided eye contact and she knew instantly that something was wrong. She slowly reached up, placing her hand under your chin; you leaned into her touch; finally looking her in the eye - silently apologising for making her worry. You hadn’t intentionally worried her, but she knew you would open up eventually.

“Beth’s late again?”, you asked.

“Isn’t she always”, she laughed softly, trying to soften the mood.

You giggled as she smiled.

Yes, I got her to laugh again. God, I love that sound. She thought to herself.

As if on cue, Beth appeared in the cafe and greeted you both, apologising for being late.

“Go grab a table, it’s on me”, you told your friends.

They smiled and sat down. Collecting the order, you passed out the coffee as you all began discussing the day so far.

Beth filled you in on the weird and wacky customers that invaded her store, while Ellie shared some crazy stories about her clients. You sat back and listened in awe, proud of your friends for following their dreams and supporting their small businesses.

Beth asked how work was going for you and you tensed again, which didn’t go unnoticed by the Bixler siblings. It wasn’t like you to be nervous when talking about your job; you were nothing if not confident, but humble.

You clenched your jaw before relaxing, smiling softly.

“Y/N? You okay?”, the older sibling asked.

You felt Ellie’s eyes on you; almost piercing through your soul.

Looking up at your friends, you began to talk.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be distant; it’s just been a long morning”, you said quietly.

They sat, still looking at you, waiting patiently. Ellie couldn’t help but think how beautiful you look; that woman is so desperately in love with you, it was painfully obvious to everyone around you.

“What’s up?, Ellie asked kindly.

“Uh, well, that deal I’ve been working on for our biggest client…We settled this morning. We got the contract”, you said.

“Corporate were impressed that the turnaround was quicker than we thought; and offered me a promotion to–”, you continued.

“That’s great news, Y/N!”, they said in unison, interrupting you.

Looking at Beth, you saw her beaming at you. Clearly she was proud of you for working so hard and achieving something you’ve always wanted. You gazed over at Ellie who looked at you with unwavering amazement, in absolute awe of you.

“What’s the promotion?”, Beth asked.

“Partner”, you said simply.

They shared a look, knowing you’ve wanted this for so long.

“Congratulations! You’ve worked so hard, Y/N - you deserve this”, Ellie said.

Smiling, you thanked your friends; chewing the inside of your cheek, contemplating whether or not you should rip the bandaid off with the next bit of news.

Now or never. Stop delaying the inevitable; be honest. You told yourself.

“Y/N?”, the siblings said, drawing you out of your thoughts yet again - not noticing you checked out for a few seconds.

“Oh, sorry…There’s more”, you said, uncomfortably shifting in your seat,

“The law firm has plans to expand the company and open up new offices in London and Sydney. Since I’m the new partner, they’ve asked me to oversee everything for the Sydney office”, you said nervously.

Beth and Ellie listened intently, sensing your hesitation.

You didn’t dare to look at Ellie.

“They want me to relocate to Sydney in six weeks”, you said hesitantly.

“Well…that’s, uh. How long?”, Beth asked.

“Three years”, you said.

A beat of silence passed through the three of you, Ellie taking a slow sip of coffee to calm her nerves.

“There’s a lot to consider; almost too much…We only got confirmation things were moving ahead this morning; we’ve known about these new offices for a little while now, but didn’t expect it to happen so fast”, you continued hesitantly.

You heard Ellie suck in a breath, from the corner of your eye you saw her look down at her hands, instantly picking at her nails; Something she did when she was scared - a habit she picked up as a young teen.

Beth looked between the two of you and spoke up again.

“Wow”, she said.

“Yeah”, you said.

Beth kicked Ellie’s shin under the table.

“Ow, what the fuck?”, Ellie snapped.

Beth gestured towards you and Ellie finally acknowledged you.

You met each other's eyes. Sadness, worry and despair reflected through them; it broke your heart yet again as you anxiously waited for Ellie to say something.

“I…I’m happy for you, Y/N. Excuse me, I need to get back to work. Thank you for lunch”, she said quietly; the hurt was evident in her voice.

A few seconds of awkward silence passed between you and Beth as Ellie up and left.

“I...don’t know what to do”, you said.

“What do you mean, Y/N?”, Beth asked.

You sat quietly for a few seconds, before speaking up again.

“I don’t know if I can leave and move away so quickly. I can’t pack my whole life up in six weeks. I can’t leave my family; this is happening all too fast. I accepted the promotion, but told my boss I’d need time to consider moving. It’s a fucking huge decision”, you reasoned, looking sadly out the door, watching Ellie quickly cross the road and down the street.

Beth watched you; her eyes squinting at you. She knew there was another reason why you were hesitant.

“Look, you’ve worked so hard for this. Don’t let this opportunity fall through - take it; you’re great at negotiating, so why don’t you take the time to speak to your boss and come up with an alternate decision”, Beth said.

“You know Ellie - she just needs time”, she continued.

Your eyes snapped back to her. She smirked.

“I know, okay. I’ve always known”, she said.

“I….”, you mumbled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Beth. We should get back to work”, you said.

“Don’t avoid it. Take the time you need; just know I’m happy for you, and will be here if you need anything”, Beth smiled kindly.

Hugging you, she thanked you for lunch and you each headed back to your respective workplaces.

On your way back to work, Beth’s words played on your mind. It hurt to see Ellie’s reaction; deep down you understood why; but it still scared you.

You had a lot to contemplate. You felt lost; you wanted this opportunity, but you didn’t want it to affect your…situationship or whatever unspoken thing you had with Ellie.

You arrived back at work, putting your feelings aside to go about the rest of the day; compartmentalising.

You would come to a solution eventually. You just needed to get used to the idea before making any concrete decisions.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 2:

Later that same evening, you headed home - thoughts of Ellie invading your mind. You had a feeling she was thinking of you, too…and you were right.

Across town Danny and Bridget were studying at their friends’ house, and little Kassie was fast asleep; so Ellie threw herself into cleaning the apartment, doing laundry, scrubbing the bathtub - doing anything she could to stop the ache in her heart at the thought of losing you.

Upon entering your building, you automatically smiled at the sight of Ellie’s apartment. Your smile soon faded as you didn’t hear the usual sound of old school R&B playing in the background. Instead you heard sounds of clanging pots and pans and cuss words. Just as you were about to knock on her door, Beth appeared from her apartment next door.

“She’s been doing this for almost an hour; the kids are gone for the night. She won’t talk to me”, she said, attempting to keep her voice low.

“Maybe…I could try and talk to her, help her calm down”, you said.

Suddenly the door opened; Ellie appeared.

“What are you doing?”, she asked, annoyed, her voice slurred.

You took her in; she looked like she’d been crying…and drinking.

Shit. It had been a while since you saw Ellie this drunk.

“El, we were just talking…”, Beth said.

“Well can you keep it down? Some of us have things to do”, Ellie replied, beer in hand.

She stumbled forward bracing herself on the door, slipping slightly.

You stepped forward to catch her.

“I got you, Ellie”, you said warmly.

As drunk as she was, she looked you square in the eye; registering your presence. Losing herself in your eyes before speaking, turning angry.

“Oh, just drop the act, Y/N. If you had me, if you cared enough about me at all, you would have told me from the beginning, instead of stringing me along this whole time”, she hissed, stepping away from you.

“How long was this planned, huh? Did you know all along? The minute you finally get somewhere in life, make something of yourself, you think you’re better than everyone else and just leave? Is this life not good enough for you? Was this your plan all along; move away from the only family you have; move away from the person who lov- Mmm”, she seethed, stopping herself from finishing that sentence.

“You don’t care. You’re selfish. Look at you”, she laughed; taking a swig from her beer.

“So much for telling each other everything”, she said.

Her words cut deep. Then you remembered she was drunk; and tried not to take her words to heart - as harsh as they were.

Did Ellie really think you didn’t care? After everything you’ve been through together, how can she stand there and say that? She never spoke to you like that before.

She didn’t even stick around long enough to hear you question your promotion; she just took off. Scared; running from her true feelings again. Maybe you were more alike than you originally thought…

“She doesn’t mean that”, Beth said, noticing the hurt on your face.

“Don’t speak for me, Beth”, she snapped.

Turning her attention back to you, Ellie’s eyes looked a little bit clearer; almost like she snapped out of whatever trance she was in, seemingly realising what she had said before she spoke again.

You braced yourself for more harsh words, but this time they didn’t come.

“I don’t feel too good. I’m going to bed, so I need you to get out of my face before I say something else I might regret”, Ellie said sadly, her voice cracking.

“Ellie, I…”, you whispered.

With that, she firmly closed the door in your face, but not loud enough to wake Kassie.

You stood staring at the door for a few seconds, wanting to comfort your…friend, but decided against it. It was best to leave things as they were, as painful as it was. Ellie wasn’t thinking clearly, and now neither were you.

Beth stood there, shaking her head in the direction of Ellie’s apartment. She knew her sister was a real hot head at times, and wasn’t going to let this go lightly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N”, Beth said.

“It’s okay Bethy-boo. It’s not your fault”, you said sweetly, offering a meek smile.

“I’m just going to go to bed, I don’t really want to talk right now, if that’s okay. It’s been a long day”, you continued.

“Of course”, she said.

You gave her a grateful hug, squeezed her arm in thanks before heading upstairs to your colder than normal apartment.

You showered, attempting to wash this day away. Ellie’s words playing on your mind like a broken record. You couldn’t deny those words stung; you tried to remind yourself it was the alcohol talking - not Ellie. Not your sweet, kind, beautiful Ellie.

Climbing into bed, you reached for Ellie’s shirt; clutching it as you cried yourself to sleep; feeling absolutely sick to your stomach over what the next few days could bring.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

That was the sound of your alarm clock going off at…

Groaning, you rolled over to peek at the time.

4:45am. Great. 2 and a half hours sleep. Fuck this day. You thought.

Laying there for what felt like an eternity, which in reality was only 15 minutes; your mind cast back to yesterday’s events and Ellie’s reaction. You couldn’t bring yourself to face her today; this being the first time in 20 years - her words cutting your soul. Another thought crossed your mind…

Was she comparing me to Jay? Why did she have to ask pointed questions like that? She knows I’m nothing like that scumbag ex of hers.

That thought shattered you yet again. Sighing, you got out of bed and went about your normal routine; making your bed, running on the treadmill for 20 minutes, making your protein smoothie, got dressed and walked out your door. Your heart ached as you looked at Ellie’s apartment; in that moment, all you wanted to do was go in there and make sure she was okay, hold her close and tell her everything will be alright. But you decided against it; she genuinely hurt you last night which was a first and you needed time to sort your own headspace out.

You threw yourself into work, not daring to think about Ellie.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 3:

Back at the Brownstone, Beth snuck into her sisters’ apartment to clean up the mess Ellie had made; literally and figuratively, while she slept off the grog. It was rare when Beth took on the role of ‘Mother’, but when she did, she was a damn good one.

Little Kassie sat at the kitchen table as Beth served up her famous chocolate chip pancakes.

“Aunty Beth?”, she asked.

“Yeah, Kass?”, she responded.

“Why was Mommy yelling at Aunty Y/N last night? They never fight”, she questioned innocently.

Beth paused.

“Mommy was just stressed and very tired, Kassie. She’s been working too hard. That’s all”, Beth said.

“Okay…”, Kassie said, only half convinced.

“C’mon, eat your pancakes and I’ll take you to school”, Beth said, ruffling her niece's hair.

Heading towards Ellie’s bedroom, Beth slammed the door. Ellie groaned.

“What…the fuck”, she mumbled.

“Ellie”, Beth said.

No response.

She stood quietly for a few seconds watching Ellie. It was obvious Ellie still didn’t register her presence; or if she did, she wasn’t interested.

Sighing, she walked over to the window and opened the curtains. That got Ellie’s attention.

“BETH! You bitch!”, she yelled.

Right, I’ve had enough of this shit. Beth thought.

“Alright enough! Get up, El or I’ll move you myself”, Beth said sternly.

Sitting up slowly, Ellie rubbed her eyes taking in her surroundings. A few seconds later, a guttural groan came from her throat; a wave of nausea washing over her.

“You look like hell”, Ellie said.

“You’re one to talk”, Beth replied.

Then, it all came flooding back to her.

Your news. Her reaction. The way she treated you. How cruel she was.

Fuck. She screwed up big time.

Beth just continued to stand there quietly observing her sibling, seemingly reading her mind.

“I hurt her, didn’t I?”, Ellie said, her voice hoarse.

“Hurt is probably the understatement of the year, sis”, Beth replied.

“I didn’t mean what I said; that’s not how I feel at all”, Ellie expressed.

“It was…I was… Surprised. I got scared. Oh, God I’m sorry”, she tried to reason.

“Hey, I’m not the one you need to apologise to”, Beth said, putting her hands up in surrender.

“I was surprised too. But that didn’t give you the right to treat her like that, Ellie. You really fucked up last night”, Beth continued.

“I mean, what were you thinking, huh? Y/N isn’t Jay! That was cruel. You should have seen the look on her face. You know, after you so rudely walked out on lunch yesterday, she was telling me she doesn’t know if she should go. She said she had too much to consider”, Beth said bitterly, putting her sibling in her place.

“I know what I said, and I saw her face. My God, I wish I could take it back”, Ellie cried, her head in her hands.

“She is nothing like Jay. I never meant to hurt her”, she continued.

“I’m just… terrified of losing her, Bethy-boo”, she whimpered.

“And why is that?”, Beth questioned.

“Because I’m in love with her. I’ve always been in love with her”, Ellie said without hesitation, finally looking Beth in the eye.

“I love her so much, I do”, she repeated, teary eyed.

Beth smiled.

“I know. Now get up, and go make it right”, she encouraged.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You tried your best to get on with your day, but Ellie still invaded your mind. You had received some texts from Beth, who was checking in on you and only answered a couple of them. You had important meetings with the firm's big clients so couldn’t allow outside drama to affect you.

Placing your phone in your pocket, you went about your business.

Two hours and a half hours and two meetings later, you found yourself back in your office attempting to take a small break.

Checking your phone, you noticed 3 missed calls, 1 voicemail and 6 text messages - all from Ellie. Your heart sank at the sight of her name; missing her instantly. You debated listening to her voice message, thinking it would break you.

Before you knew it, you pressed play.

“Y/N…Hey. It’s me. It’s Ellie. I suppose you know that already; fuck what am I saying?”, you could tell just from this sentence alone Ellie was inwardly cringing. A small smile crept on to your face as you continued listening.

“I’m at the cafe waiting for Beth, I hope you’ll make it. Listen, I am…so sorry. I’m an idiot and never should have said what I said. I never wanted to hurt you, please know that. I just…*sigh* You know what, I can’t do this over the phone; I miss your face and need to see you”, she said, sounding sorrowful.

Even through the phone, you could tell she was genuine…but it still didn’t undo the hurt.

You were surprised over how abruptly the voicemail ended, and as if on cue, you heard a knock on your door. Without thinking, you got up and when you answered it, Ellie appeared holding a large cup of coffee as a peace offering.

A beat of silence passed through, taking the other in.

While Ellie looked as beautiful as ever, it was clear to you that she was hungover, but had also been crying; her eyes sunken in and as heavy as her heart. She glanced at you; she could tell you hadn't slept all night, your eyes sore from crying; the guilt weighed heavier than ever.

In that moment, all you wanted to do was forget yesterday ever happened and hold each other the way you’ve always dreamed of.

“Uh, hi”, you mumbled.

“Hi, Y/N”, she said meekly, smiling softly.

“I bought you a coffee, I know you can’t make it through the rest of the morning without it”, she said, awkwardly handing you the steaming cup.

You stood there equally as awkward, the tension growing steadily between you. Reaching out, you accepted the coffee; your fingers accidentally brushing against each other almost as if reigniting a spark. Ellie tried wrapping her pinkie around yours, but you stepped back at the last second.

“Can we talk?”, she asked, sounding remorseful.

“Not right now. I’m working”, you answered, more bitterly than intended.

With that, you turned to walk back to your desk but Ellie ever so gently caught your wrist, stopping you.

“Please”, she whispered.

Turning back to face her you saw tears forming in her beautiful green eyes, silently pleading with you to give her a chance.

“Fine”, you quietly said.

Gesturing towards the opposite seat at your desk, Ellie closed the door and sat down. You stayed quiet.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. Really. I know what I did, I know what I said, and I absolutely hate myself for it. I was drunk and stupid…I know that doesn’t make it okay; I was just surprised”, Ellie blurted out, evidently nervous.

“That person you saw last night; it wasn’t me. You know that. Listen, I’m so proud of you. You’ve worked so hard and deserve everything that’s good. I know you didn’t plan this, and I never ever meant to say you were selfish; or that you were anything like...him. I just…I just got scared”, she continued.

“Oh, so you don’t hate me then?”, you questioned.

“What? Of course not; I could never hate you”, she answered; slightly offended.

“Well that’s not the impression you gave me last night. I am not Jay”, you snapped.

“I know…I know. I’m trying to apologise, make it right”, she said sadly.

“No, Ellie. You don’t get to compare me to your abusive ex and then say I’m the selfish one just because you got scared”, you snapped again.

“Please, Y/N. Just - give me a chance to explain. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you”, she said.

“Yeah, well you did and now you’ve got me questioning everything….I’m sorry, but I can’t do this right now”, you said, standing up.

“C’mon, Y/N. This isn’t us, this is not how we deal with things”, Ellie pleaded.

“This isn’t the time or the place”, you said, suddenly feeling drained; but indicating this conversation wasn’t over.

She followed you to the door, gently touching the side of your waist. It took everything in you not to go to her. She felt you giving up resistance ever so slightly; before you were hit with another wave of anger, stepping sideways.

“There is no us”, you said.

Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. You thought.

You didn’t mean it. Glancing up at Ellie, you knew she knew that.

“Please, just go”, you whispered.

With sad puppy dog eyes Ellie took one last look at you, defeated and walked out of your office.

I’m still not giving up. Ellie thought.

Slinking against the opposite side of the door, you began crying again.

Why is everything suddenly harder than it needs to be?

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 4:

Almost three weeks went by with virtually no contact from you. Time went by far too quickly, as your proposed flight date grew closer. You just focused on work, taking this time to consider the full promotion, avoiding Ellie even though you live in the same building.

You received a handful of texts from Ellie, who just kept apologising over and over again which you ignored. You did bump into her a few times, of course; when she was carrying a load of laundry or grocery bags while you left for work or the gym. She smiled at you, to which you acknowledged her, said a quick hello, then went on your way. She respected the fact that you needed space, and trusted you would speak eventually; as much as it pained her not to be around you.

Even though it had only been a short amount of time since your last conversation, it was obvious you two were struggling with how much you missed each other. If this is what it felt like when you were in Australia, then you didn’t want it.

If you did go to Sydney without seeing or talking things out with Ellie before you left, it would kill you. You haven’t felt this much pain since she was forced to marry Jay.

You received messages from Beth and met for coffee twice. She told you Ellie was miserable, and that the kids knew something was wrong. She accused you of both being hotheaded and stubborn, but also told you she thought you were being equally as cruel by avoiding her when you knew you had to talk.

Upon reflection, Beth was right. It was time to communicate; you didn’t want to punish Ellie anymore.

While on a break at work, you decided to text Ellie.

“Hey, Ellie. I think it’s time we talk, would you like to come to my place tonight?”, you sent.

Almost immediately, your phone chimed.

“Hey, Y/N. Me too - I’d like that”, she replied.

“6pm?” you asked.

“Perfect”, she wrote.

Smiling softly you placed your phone back in your pocket, anticipating seeing your best friend again.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night rolled around quicker than you realised. You arrived home at 5pm, cleaned up, showered and prepared some food and drinks. This evening could go one of two ways but you were willing to work through it.

Checking the clock, you saw it was 5:58pm. Ellie knocked at your door once before you leapt from your spot on the couch and opened it.

There she was, beautiful as ever.

Two minutes early, and just as keen to see you.

“Hi”, she said nervously; trying to hide how delighted she was to see you again.

“Hi”, you smiled, albeit anxiously.

You gestured for her to step inside.

“Can I get you a drink?”, you asked, breaking apart and instantly missing the closeness.

“Uh..yes”, she said.

You poured two small glasses of whiskey, sitting in close proximity to each other.

“How are the kids?”, you asked.

“Good; Beth’s with them tonight. They’ve been asking about you. They…they miss you”, she said quietly.

“I miss them, too”, you said.

Silence grew around you again as you maintained precious eye-contact.

“So…”, she started.

“Ellie, I’ve missed you”, you said, deciding to jump right into it.

“I’ve missed you, too”, she said.

Relief swept over the two of you after hearing those words. The air suddenly shifted around you. You couldn’t take it any longer and engulfed Ellie in a tight hug, which she readily returned; her strong arms feeling like home. Without saying a word, you stood there holding each other for what felt like hours.

“I’ve been thinking, and…you were right. This isn’t how we do things. I’ve hated these past few weeks without you. I should’ve handled this whole thing better than I have. I just wanted to say I’m sorry; truly - for everything”, you said.

You held on to both her hands, clutching tightly.

“You don’t have anything to apologise for, Y/N. It’s me. I never should have walked away from you; I’m an idiot for speaking to you the way that I did. But like I said the other day, that person you saw wasn’t me. I need you to know that, more than anything”, Ellie pleaded.

“Y/N, I know you’re not Jay. What I said…it - It was absolutely uncalled for. I know how hard you’ve worked for this. You’re not selfish; you are somebody - somebody special and a damn good lawyer. I know you’re never going to abandon your family. I’m happy for you, I really am…it’s just, you’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose you”, she said.

“We’ve been through so much together, and if I’m being honest it will hurt to see you go; but I promise I’ll support you. I just don’t want to stand in your way; again, I’m so sorry I hurt you. Can you forgive me?”, Ellie asked, on the verge of tears.

Taking a beat, you answered.

“Look, I know you never meant it. I know you’re not that person. These past few weeks haven’t been easy for either of us; we’ve both said things we don’t mean, but I promise you, you’re not going to lose me. For the record, you have never stood in my way, Ellie. In fact, you inspire me.…and, yes, I’ll forgive you. I hope you can forgive me, too”, you said.

Ellie sucked in a breath; finally letting a few tears escape her eyes.

“I forgive you”, she uttered.

You reached out and gently dabbed them away with the base of your thumb. She closed her eyes, as you sweetly stroked her cheekbone.

“I’m sorry I said there is no “us”, Ellie”, you said quietly.

She opened her eyes and studied your face.

“What?”, she whispered, her eyes now clear and hopeful.

You smiled.

“Wha-what about your promotion? Sydney?”, she asked.

You sighed.

Standing up, you walked slowly towards the window, closing it; suddenly nervous about the next obvious conversation.

Picking up your whisky glass, you took a slow sip before you spoke.

“I’ve decided I’m not moving”, you mumbled.

Ellie couldn’t believe what you said.

“What do you mean, ‘you’re not moving’?”, she asked.

“I negotiated a new deal. I’ll still go to Sydney eventually, but it won’t be for three years. Most of it will be remote, while the building is constructed; then I’ll only have to travel there twice a year for 5 weeks”, you said, staring out the window.

“I’m staying”, you said, turning back to face her, your expression pensive.

A sense of relief washed over Ellie.

“I can’t do this anymore, Ellie”, you continued, as tears formed in your eyes.

Her heart sank for a minute, thinking the worst.

No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. She thought.

Ellie stood from her place on the couch, heading in your direction. Your heart started beating faster the closer she came to you; her eyes silently searching yours for any hint of uncertainty. She ever so slowly extended her hand, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“What are you talking about, Y/N?”, she asked quietly, her voice low and smooth.

“I think you know, El”, you said equally quiet.

You reached up, taking hold of her hand against your chest as you looked deep in her mesmerising eyes, stepping closer so there was no more distance between you.

“El, we can’t ignore our feelings any longer…I-I’m deeply in love with you; I always have been, and that’s why I’m staying; I’m tired of running. I’m done being stupid. For the first time in my life, I’m choosing love; Ellie, I could never leave you behind”, you said, your voice full of warmth and adoration; your smile reaching your ears.

Oh my God. I can’t believe this is actually happening, she thought.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since the moment we met. I never knew this type of love existed until I met you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do. That’s why I got scared; I don’t just want you; I need you, Y/N. You’re my heart. You’re the only person I’ve ever truly loved, and I couldn’t bear the thought of being without you”, she said; her tone matching yours.

“Well, it’s a good thing that you won’t ever have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere”, you said lovingly.

“I can’t believe you’re really staying”, she said, pressing your foreheads together.

You wrapped your arms around her neck; her long arms going around your waist.

“You better believe it; I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Ellie”, you said.

“Really?”, she smiled; teary eyes searching yours.

You began swaying gently in her arms.

“Yeah, really”, you beamed.

“In that case, Y/N, will you be my girl?”, she whispered.

“Always”, you whispered back, your eyes darting to her lips.

Since you were slightly shorter than Ellie, you had to stand up on your tippy-toes. She giggled softly, meeting you halfway to join your lips in your very first kiss.

It started off sweet and slow, little sighs and moans escaping lips. You moved your hands up to her neck, gently cradling the back of her head as she held your waist, tenderly stroking your skin.

“I love you”, she whispered into the kiss.

“I love you too”, you whispered back, smiling against her lips.

A burning feeling ignited low in your bodies, as all your senses were heightened; completely wrapped up in each other.

The kiss progressively grew deeper, more passionate; your hands beginning to wander down each other's bodies, exploring, as you slowly began making your way to the bedroom; never breaking away from the embrace. Once inside, you locked the door - shutting out the rest of the world.

That night, you and Ellie became one. For better or worse.

It was the first night of the rest of your lives.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPILOGUE: 6 months later

The house was loud and lively for a warm Saturday night; everyone was home for a nice change, so Ellie thought it would be nice if her family watched a movie together. After much deliberation and bickering between Danny, Bridget and Kassie, Up! was eventually chosen.

Beth sat on the floor, as Kassie insisted she braid her hair. Danny sat lounging on a spare recliner, with his trusty headphones around his neck as he mindlessly played a videogame on his phone. Bridget sat on the opposite side of the couch reading her protest book.

You and Ellie were in the kitchen washing up the dishes from dinner, playfully slapping each other on the butt with a tea towel while stealing sweet kisses along the way.

“Mom! Momma! Hurry up! The movie is starting!”, Kassie yelled from the living room.

“We’re coming! Hold your horses”, Ellie giggled.

You planted one last kiss on her lips before taking each other by the hand, and headed towards the living room. Ellie sat down and immediately made grabby hands at you; you smirked at her adorable neediness and sat down next to her, resting your arm across her chest. She kissed the top of your head, burying her fingers in your hair.

“Okay, guys come on. You wanted to watch this movie, so get off your phone and put the book away. Kassie, put Staphanie down”, Ellie said.

20 minutes into the movie, Danny realised there were no snacks on the table.

“Mom, can you get us some popcorn?”, he asked.

“Uh, no. I asked you before if you wanted anything and you said no. If you want it, get it yourself”, Ellie said.

“Yeah, you loser. Go and get some”, Bridget teased.

Danny picked up the nearest pillow and yeeted it in Bridget’s direction, hitting her in the face, knocking her book off the armrest. She poked her tongue out at her brother, who stuck his middle finger up in response.

Everybody giggled, before Danny asked again.

“Seriously, Mom? Can you make us some?”, he asked.

“Can you bring us some candy, too?”, Kassie called out.

“Ugh, alright, alright!”, she joked.

Ellie groaned. She was comfortable snuggling up to you; enjoying the feel of your hands playing with hers. She didn’t want to move, but got up anyway.

“Wanna come with me, babe?”, she asked suggestively, raising her eyebrows.

Your stomach fluttered at the pet name.

“Of course”, you smiled; rubbing your nose against hers affectionately, picking up on the double entendre.

Getting up, you walked back into the kitchen.

“I want M&M’s!”, Bridget called out.

“And SKITTLES!!”, Kassie bellowed.

Ellie groaned again, throwing her hands up in surrender.

“These kids, I love them, I do, but I swear they get on my last nerve…”, Ellie said, with a hint of mischief in her voice.

You laughed and rubbed her back as she placed the popcorn bag in the microwave.

“Aw, my poor baby”, you said sarcastically, smirking at her.

Ellie turned sideways, sauntered slowly over to you and grabbed you by the waist.

“Oh, so now you’re being a shithead, too? Think you’re funny?” she asked; her eyes glistening with cheekiness.

“Maybe”, you winked.

“You know they’ll officially be your kids, too in a few months, my love. Are you sure you want a lifetime of this? Last chance to back out”, she teased, inching closer to you, knowing it’ll get under your skin.

Your breathing quickened as Ellie backed you up against the benchtop; trapping you sexily, clearly enjoying the playfulness between you.

“Hey, I proposed to you. Of course I want this, honey; they’re all a mini version of you. Who wouldn’t want more of that?”, you said, meaning every word before squeezing her butt affectionately.

Her heart skipped another beat.

Smirking, Ellie bent down slightly and hooked her long, strong arms under your legs lifting you with ease, placing you on the kitchen bench to stand between your legs. Snatching the tea towel from your hands, Ellie twisted it in hers, using it as a makeshift scarf to pull you impossibly closer, placing a tantalising kiss on your lips.

You giggled, placing your arms loosely around her shoulders.

“That’s sweet, dear - but as I recall I proposed first…we just happened to plan it on the same night”, she insisted.

“If you say so”, you teased.

“I do”, she replied, proud of herself.

“You know you’re supposed to say that on our wedding day, don’t you? Not now”, you teased again.

“So? I said it now, I’ll say it again, and I’ll say it on our wedding day. I’ll continue to say it until the day I die”, she said, her tone changing from cheeky to sincere.

You got lost in your own little world for a minute; eyes searching, gazing lovingly, adoringly at each other - taking a moment to appreciate this tender moment.

“I can’t wait to marry you, baby”, you whispered, inching closer to her lips.

She cheekily dodged your lips to place tender kisses on your neck; smirking at the way you moaned and leaned sideways to allow her more access.

“I can’t wait to marry you, future Mrs…Bixler”, she whispered back, finally capturing your lips between hers.

Before you knew it, you engaged in an intense make out session; completely forgetting the snacks. She cradled your face, softly stroking your cheekbones with her thumbs. You slid your hands under her oversized t-shirt, leisurely dragging your nails along her abdomen; she moaned at the touch as her stomach clenched; growling softly in your ear; a sound you’d never get tired of. You chuckled, loving the effect you had on her.

Just as she began sliding her hands up your thighs, you remembered the snacks.

“Babe, we should stop”, you husked.

“Do we have to?”, she whined.

“Yes”, you whimpered.

Suddenly, Bridget walked in - putting a stop to your little romp.

“What’s taking so long?”, she asked.

“Oh. Oh, man! Get a room!”, she exclaimed, after catching you in an embrace.

You broke apart enough so you were decent, but still cuddling.

“We had one before you walked in”, you joked, smiling at your soon-to-be adopted daughter.

“We’ll finish this later”, you quickly whispered to Ellie, who smirked.

“I swear to God, you two can’t keep your hands off each other for more than five minutes!”, she teased.

You and Ellie shared a look, feeling coy.

I wouldn’t want it any other way, was the unspoken, shared thought between you.

“Now if you two are done, can we please finish the movie? Danny’s being a smart ass, and it’s taking everything in me not to stab him”, Bridget said, deadpan.

She grabbed the snacks and walked back towards the living room; not before she took one last look at her Moms and smiled.

“I’m glad you’ve found each other again”, she said.

“Hurry up Bridge!”, Danny and Kassie bellowed, interrupting a sweet moment.

“Yeah, we’re getting hungry out here!”, Beth called out a few seconds after.

“ALRIGHT! Fuck!”, Bridget yelled.

“Hey, language!”, you and Ellie yelled in unison, giggling at each other.

“Moms were making out in the kitchen again!”, Bridget announced, walking back into the living room, laughing at the collective groan from her siblings and Aunty.

As soon as Danny spotted the food, he leaped out of his seat, snatching what he wanted out of Bridget’s hands. Kassie then snatched it from him, then Beth snatched it from her.

“Bagsies! Mine!”, Beth laughed.

Kassie jumped on Beth and soon after Bridget and Danny joined in, attacking their Aunty with countless pillows as Beth squealed.

You and Ellie peaked in, watching the commotion unfold.

“Help! Sis? Y/N?”, Beth laughed.

“You’re on your own with this one, Bethy-boo!”, Ellie chuckled at her sister, kissing your forehead.

Helping you off the kitchen bench, Ellie took your hand and lead you back to the couch. She took the opportunity to wrap her arms around your waist once again, as you put your hand on her chest, placing your head above her heart, listening to her now steady heartbeat; the two of you laughing at the chaos in front of you.

Taking in the amazing image in front of her, Ellie couldn’t believe how many years were wasted. But instead of dwelling on what was, she continued to look to the future. You seemed to be thinking the same thing as you looked up at her, kissing her cheek affectionately.

“I love you, Ellie”, you said, smiling lovingly at your fiance.

“I love you, too, Y/N”, she replied, her smile reaching her eyes once again.

Sharing another sweet kiss, Beth and the kids began mocking the two of you. You laughed as Ellie flipped them the bird, before you all turned your attention back to the movie.

Yeah, this is us.

#Ellie Bixler #Beth Bixler #Evil Dead Rise #Evil Dead Rise imagine #Evil Dead Rise x reader #Ellie Evil Dead Rise x fem reader #Beth Evil Dead Rise x fem reader #Bridget Evil Dead Rise #Kassie Evil Dead Rise #Danny Evil Dead Rise #Just pretend the events of Evil Dead Rise didn't exist and our girl is alive and happy and in love with reader #LGBT #Pride #Jay is an asshole in this - don't @ me #Human Elie needs love and affection too #This is all just for fun

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annoyed-galaxy · 7 months ago

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Fictober 2024 ~ 11

"well, that worked out great!"

Fanfiction - DA2 I am so damn eepy and I think fictober is starting to burn me out but I refuse to give up. In turn, my writing is probably becoming worse or sounding completely incomprehensible. I just wanted to write about blood magic and this is probably not all accurate to lore, but I'm rushing here because of all the stuff I need to do before Halloween. Can also be found on Ao3

A blood mage walks into a noble’s home. The blood mage has a charming smile, captivating laugh, and piercing red eyes. He’s the most beautiful man in the world and all the woman — and even some men — want him, desire him.

But he’s Anders’s.

And Anders fucking hated this plan. He had been glowering the entire time Seth mingled amongst the crowd, shaking hands with nobles who would love to see him dead. Of course, they didn’t know he was a blood mage; in fact, there were only a few people who did, Anders being one. However, Seth wasn’t a typical blood mage. He was a blood mage because that’s the only way he could live. Something was wrong with him and his magic actively killed him solely by existing. Of course, he could be cured if he underwent the Rite of Tranquility, but that was the worst possible thing anyone could have happen to them.

Instead, Anders gave Seth blood every week, helping keep his lover strong and alive for as long as their short lives would allow. And yet this…What they were doing was suicide.

Varric came up with the plan and because Anders and Merrill were the only others one privy to Seth’s condition, they were forced to tag along.

Aveline had been getting reports that there was a possible blood mage posing as a noble in Hightown and was controlling a group of fellow nobles in an attempt to seal power in the massive vacuum that was left after the viscount’s death. Aveline had been giving Seth many reports like this, trusting him over the templars with dealing with things like this discreetly. She wanted peace in Kirkwall and knew that coming to the templars with matters they should deal with would only lead to more chaos. The slightest whisper of blood magic sent Knight-Commander Meredith seething.

If she knew about Seth, he would be executed on the spot.

And that’s how Seth ended up in the middle of the crowd. He was famous now. The Champion of Kirkwall, the most privileged mage in the entirety of Kirkwall. After the fight with the Arishok, everyone had seen Seth use his magic and only his status as Champion kept him from being locked away. Champion was a title bestowed to guardians of the city. If he was locked away, the city would riot. He was loved among many and an inspiration to others.

So Seth was the bait and the others were the backup. Their target came into view, wearing a mask adorned with raven feathers and red rubies. She smiled as she curtsied in front of Seth, offering her hand. He took it and placed a gentle kiss on top. Anders seethed at the gesture. He knew it was for show, but he could not stop the surge of jealously that flooded into him seeing all these nobles pander to his lover.

Anders, along with Merrill and Varric, were currently hiding in the shadows, Anders’s invisibility spell surrounding them and keeping them out of sight. Any noise they made, however, could still be heard so they kept their breaths short and quiet. Merrill clamped her hand over mouth. She was nervous for Seth.

Anders was still angry at Varric for suggesting this and angrier more at Seth for agreeing to it. They were in a room of thralls and Seth was the only one not under the blood mage’s control. They sent him into the wolf’s den and now they just had to wait.

In order to break the spell on the other nobles the blood mage controlled, there would have to be blood magic involved. In order to do that, there had to be a sacrifice for such a powerful spell. Conveniently enough, they were going to use the blood mage for that. It was an added benefit that she was the one controlling them because it would make the spell easier. Only Seth could perform it being a blood mage like he was. He was also able to keep himself immune to the influences of the blood mage, for a time at least.

Anders had offered him some blood before this mission that Seth put on his hand, using the crimson liquid to cast a warding spell on his mind. It would keep him safe from the equivalent power of the blood mage’s power. He could have made a normal ward, but blood magic was powerful than normal magic. He had to fight fire with fire.

Anders and the others watched as the woman put a hand on Seth’s face, rubbing his scruffy stubble and smiling. Anders frowned when he saw her eyes flash with magic. Seth’s body went slack and his face fell. The blood mage smiled and motioned with her finger for Seth to follow. Seth obeyed, looking at her mystically as she led up him up the stairs.

Varric was the first to move, heading towards the bed chambers on the second level. Anders followed and Merrill behind. Anders kept focusing on his spell, trying his best to mask their footsteps, but he could only do so much. They managed to find where the blood mage and Seth were going and followed. The blood mage opened the door to a room and once Seth entered, she shut the doors. Anders felt magic settle on door and cursed.

“She warded it,” he announced quietly.

“Can’t we break it?” Merrill asked, genuinely confused as to why that was an issue with two mages.

“Assuming Hawke can protect himself,” Varric started, “it may alert her and bring the entire house down on us.”

Merrill’s ears flattened against her head. “Oh.”

“Don’t worry Daisy, I’m sure there’s a window we can climb through.” Varric winked and led them away.

They searched for a few minutes for a window outside to the courtyard. They precariously stepped onto the edge and began shimmying around the house until they managed to find the window that led to the blood mage’s room. Anders’s heart was racing as his anxiety rose, wondering if Seth was in danger. Merrill was just nervous about falling off the second floor.

They peeked in the window and had it been literally anyone else, they might have felt embarrassed looking into the room and witnessing the scene within. However, this was Seth and panic seized them all.

Seth’s arms had been seized by dark roots spurting from the ground. A gag had been put in his mouth and the blood mage was smiling, a glint of madness in her eyes underneath the mask. The armor on his torso had been removed along with the tunic, leaving him bare chested. With a sharp fingernail, she carved something into Seth’s chest who winced at the pain. The blood dripped down his chest, past the two scars that marred the skin across his chest under his breasts. The blood mage trailed the two scars and smiled before licking his blood off her finger.

She said something, but Anders and the others couldn’t hear. Anders’s mind was a blaze of fury. He wanted to burst through the window and strangle her for dare hurting his Seth, but he had to restrain himself. If they caused her to be alert, she would bring the entire house down on them.

Varric looked at Anders and nodded.

Now was the time.

Anders closed his eyes and whispered something under his breath, focusing on Seth’s mind. Seth’s body seemed to freeze. He peered over his shoulder and while he couldn’t see anything, Anders got the feeling Seth could sense them. He smiled behind his gag and then turned back to the blood mage who was still monologuing.

He looked down at the blood dripping down his chest and closed his eyes, focusing on the warmth of it. The blood began to rise, swirling around him. Then it formed into a spear that he sent directly at the blood mage. She turned just in time to be struck with it, falling back. That’s when Anders, Varric, and Merrill kicked the window open and stumbled in, Anders’s dropping the invisibility.

The woman looked up in shock, scrambling to her feet and summoning power to her hands, but then she went completely still, her veins popping up from her skin. Anders looked at Seth and saw that his eyes were glowing red and he was frowning, sweat rolling down his head as he controlled the woman. Varric loaded in his tranquilizer arrow and shot her right in the stomach. She winced, but was unable to move until her eyes closed and she slumped against Seth’s mental hold.

Seth’s face relaxed and he slowly blinked his eyes, the glow fading out and the woman falling to the ground as he released her. Anders immediately went over to him and dispelled the roots that held him and pulled the gag out of his mouth. Seth smiled wide. “Well, that worked out great!” he cheered, looking at Anders.

The Grey Warden simply sighed and put his hands on Seth’s bare chest, willing his magic to the surface and dancing across the carved skin, knitting the flesh back together. Once he was done, Anders looked worriedly into Seth’s eyes. “I thought she actually got you.”

Seth chuckled and held his hand up, showing the dried blood still on it. “She didn’t have the power of love.” Anders rolled his eyes at the joke, but didn’t resist when Seth leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

“Ahem, lovebirds,” Varric interrupted. Anders and Seth pulled away, though much to Anders’s annoyance.

Seth stood up and helped Anders up before looking at the unconscious woman. “Right. Time to do the hard part,” Seth muttered. Merrill and Varric dragged the woman to the middle of the floor and Seth hovered above her, dagger in hand.

The others moved back and watched with bated breath as Seth got on his knees, framing the woman’s body with them and placed the dagger’s tip against her chest. He took a deep breath and then plunged the blade through her skin. The pain must have pierced through her drugged sleep for her eyes flashed open and she gasped in pain, blood filling her mouth.

Seth seized control of the blood spilling out of her now, his eyes glowing red once more. As he pulled the blood out of her, he focused on its power and could see faint tendrils of red smoke dancing across the air, pointing towards all the people that had been under his control. He reached out to each one and pulled them back severing the connection from their mind to the woman’s blood. It took him a while to do each one because he had to be delicate and not fracture any of the mind’s he was tampering with.

The others watched cautiously as Seth focused, his glowing eyes seemingly darting across the entire room. Anders fidgeted with the red cloth around his wrist, a gift from Seth and sign of their love for each other.

Suddenly, Seth let out a breath and his eyes stopped glowing as he fell back on his legs. He was breathing hard, sweat dripping down his forehead. Anders rushed over to him, steadying him.

“Is it done?” Varric asked.

Seth nodded his head.

“Well that was better than I thought,” Merrill gleamed. “I thought I was going to have to fight people.”

“We all did. That’s why we were here. As backup,” Anders said, still focusing on making sure Seth was okay.

Seth took Anders’s hand and the two of them stood up.

“Now what?” Varric asked.

“It will take these people some time to get themselves reoriented, but they won’t know much,” Seth explained. “It will have all felt like a dream to them.” Seth smiled, though there was exhaustion in his eyes. “Surprisingly, everything went without a hitch.”

“What about the body?” Merrill asked.

Seth dismissed the question with a wave. “Aveline can deal with it. I’m tired.” He put his tunic and armor back on, before taking Anders by the hand and heading out of the home. Ensuring that the minds of the nobles under the blood mage’s control stayed intact once he severed the connection was probably the most difficult thing he had ever done. It would have been easy to simply kill the blood mage, but then the nobles would have gone insane.

And no one would ever know how they were saved by blood magic using blood magic.

#fictober #fictober 2024 #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #dragon age #dragon age 2 #da2 #anders #varric #merrill #handers #hawke x anders #anders x m!hawke #trans hawke #blood magic #OC: Seth Hawke #G-W76

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sokkawordbender · 17 days ago

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‎I'm sorry but that's rich coming from someone who's clearly biased by Soowon and abhors Yona

‎

‎first of all, since you are very focused on me making my choices and getting personal using the words 'rich coming from', and by doing that making weak claims in your argument, this is ridiculous.

I haven't personally said anything to you for choosing what you chose. This is no different than name calling.(an ad hominem if you may). IF you have points of argument, bring it to the table instead of being attacking personally. I talked about your narrative rather than talking about you and question your choices. Anyone can like any character. Did I ask why you like yona? You need to defend your standpoint, in his case your character without giving be if it of a doubt and actually with facts and reality.

‎Anyways, the statement still stands, yona has done many blunders and taken risks(which is good, a flaw is good), but the only problem is she has never suffered consequences from it. She always gets the Convenient way out. This makes the character writing loose its charm. You may like it, because you just like it, but its not the same for everyone. I, of course, am looking at this from the point of view from of a literature major. This is what we do there, we dissect the characters and analyze how their development was. Character flaws are good, only if the character learns something from his flaws and mistakes. This makes it a character development. Yona's character writing started to go down the drain when she constantly had nothing to bear consequences for. Se became divine despite the fact she had been claimed as a human again and again. This makes the narrative hard to believe.

Let's say for example, take Classic novel 'Jane Eyre'. The story was so good and showed how the girls got away from abusive relatives and it led her to her academic pursuit. She learned and grew and yet the political and abusive authority at the academia still haunted and affected her because she was a lowborn and the school was for high society. Then she became a teacher in that very school. She later became governess. But then had to run away. And when she was literally looking for craps, suddenly out of nowhere an uncle of hers pops up who gave her all of his generational wealth and now she is all rich and what not. Like. Where was this uncle before? How was he never mentioned before and how come he knew Jane existed or lived.

This made me hate the character development. Because she could have been shown to use that governess title or her education to earn her a spot. That what low or middle income households find relatable to. But the idea that you can never be successful unless you have generational wealth rubs it in their face and makes it unrealistic to approach.

What I'm saying is, that, all of yona's slipups are just fine. What's not fine is her not taking the Fall for it. Like in lighting up the signal in fire tribe and lo and behold suddenly there is an army ready the doorstep in order to cover up her action.

‎

‎ if Soowon truly is a good king, and didn't waste all his state's treasury in military campaigns, then he should have enough money to provide food relief

‎

‎So, you're saying he has not been a good king and has been a warmonger? because he is trying to strengthen kouka's borders because there was so much threat and harm done from Il's reign. And not to mention what his father did at xing. Im not a big fan of neither yuhon nor Il. But he is more of a strategist and loyal to his cause rather than a tyrant who causes wars. He is doing quickly as possible because he knows he has limited time. He is not spending his expenses on military just because he wants to. He didnt even know who will rule after him and was genuinely worried for the wellbeing of the future of his country.

what bothers me here is, after making use of Soowon's character's intellect to get all bordering countries as a Vassal nation, yona will get a ready made store bought state of kingdom to rule. That is if she rules. I would have absolutely loved it if she had been shown to be involved in these political games in another light. BUt that's my opinion. I'm saying this because if she is going to be shown as a candidate for throne, her development along 100 chapters or so should have shown her interest in learning about it. SUre she helped people and it was necessary for her to understand the people, that part I totally agree with. But she had been kept away from these things by her father, not her fault. But if there was background buildup about her learning about these foreign policies or politics directly or in directly or even shown interest to learn about it, it would have been easily under stable they way her character behaved in xing and kai arc. It felt unnatural.

‎

‎It doesn't. Both can be true at the same time

‎YEs it is. That's not how making an argument works. You need to chose a side in your debate.

‎

‎Hate to break it to you but usually when you're kind and helpful, surprise surprise, people tend to be...... grateful! Calling that a ‘fanbase’ is honestly hilarious, like you really imagined them lining up for selfies and autographs huh? Does their gratitude towards her constitue such a threat to your beloved Soowon's reign🤭?

‎

‎I don't know what is making you happy at your own statement. But let me brief this point in case for you a bit. what yona in her travel did, was no doubt an act of kindness. But it didnt even scratch the real cause of situations at the surface. sei and water tribe arc was best IMO. Im saying state level taken by government to resolve an issue even IRL is way massive and different than an activist/ NGO doing it by so many ways. We were just not shown the effects of Soowon's actions taken for the country because the story us being told from yona's narrative. It will accentuate and highlight her action and their reactions.

‎

‎Does their gratitude towards her constitue such a threat to your beloved Soowon's reign🤭?

‎I literally *rolled my eyes* here at the childishness. You added that emoji like you made a really good point or did a prank and is happy about it all on your own.Sure i guess whatever makes you happy.

‎ I couldn't care less about when Soowon's reign's end or start. I don't know why felt need to say what you said here. But let me take this into consideration and just point out that our mc is yona. sure she is kind and whatever, but her actions and decisions are what we need to drive the story forward. Not Soowon's.

‎

Yona did nothing wrong (chapter 267)

Given that we're getting the next chapter soon, I wanted to comment on this matter a last time. Akatsuki no Yona is not a fatalistic story. It showed us that things could be changed to the better through hard work. That's why, this story will never promote the idea that one should surrender to their abusers and accept their fate for the greater good. Because yes, the dragon gods are abusers: they're akin to the toxic controlling partner (or parent) who gaslights you and claims to know what's better for you, who claims their unreasonable behaviour is justified in the name of love, that it is your fault for not appreciating it, and that everything bad that happens, will be because you didn't listen to them.

Neither Yona nor Hiryuu are selfish, foolish or evil for seeking to escape a toxic environment. It is never the victim's fault for rejecting their abuser. And whatever natural disasters befall the innocent people in Kouka will be because the gods chose to unlish destruction with their own hands, not because Yona refused to yield to their suffocating love and oppression.

In fact, Yona's defiance isn't only morally justified, but also logically sound for several reasons:

1- the gods have proven themselves to be untrustworthy, by attempting to kill the very people they promised to turn human and send back to earth, leading to their current descent to madness from repetitive contract breaking. If Yona had trusted them and they later went back on their word, she'd be called dumb and naïve instead.

2- The contracts they're imposing are one sided and self serving. A contract should allow both parties to put their own terms and conditions, yet Yona is denied this right. They're desperate to regain their strength, and once that happens nothing will stop them from breaking a contract or two. Ooryuu confirms that they'll keep imposing increasingly absurd conditions, but Yona is expected to comply with these absurdities?

3- The gods had already started withdrawing their "devine protection" the moment Yona entered the chalice. They were already planning to abandon humanity all together. Their protection of humans so far was only linked to Yona's well-being, that's why, if anything, Yona returning to earth would actually coerce them into maintaining their devine protection out of fear for her safety.

4- by returning to earth, Yona isn't severing all ties with the gods. She can go back to heaven and negotiate a contract whenever she wants thanks to the chalice and a drop of her own blood. Far from "abandoning" her people to certain death, she's giving herself the opportunity to assess the situation firsthand. Is this "devine protection" really necessary? Would its absence really affect the country in an irreversible way? Can't the people actually work through this crisis hand in hand and overcome it? After all, nothing guarantees the images shown by the gods are real, or much absolute. Yona has already defied fate: saving Hak from Zeno's attack, and seeking out the dragon worriers to prevent his death, proving that nothing is set in stone, and that you can change the future through analysing the current situation to decide on the best course of action

5- Kouka isn't facing "immediate" destruction. The sun didn't disappear, it merely got veiled by clouds, much like in winter. People are able to walk down the streets without using torches or candles. While Photosynthesis may decrease, crops will not wither overnight. Kouka also ought to have its own food reserves for similar crises. It also now posses several vassal states that could help providing food and housing for the most affected areas. This leaves enough time to evaluate the situation and decide on the best conduct to adopt

6- The fundamental problem remains that the gods are apathetic to humans. They're unable to relate to them, and often minimise their suffering. Yona's return to heavens won't be more than a fleeting remedy to a lasting problem. As the protagonist of the story and Hiryuu's reincarnation, Yona ought to treat the problem at its root and find a way to bridge the gap between gods and humans, eventually making a contract that cannot be broken. Can this be achieved through surrendering yourself to vicious fickle beings? What was Akatsuki no Yona about all along? Was it a story praising self sacrifice and martyrdom as the absolute form of strength, selflessness and generosity? Or was it a story about struggling through the mud, relying on your actions, efforts and choices to shape your outcome? About challenging injustice, resisting fate and finding alternative paths? Which of these best describe Yona's actions in this chapter? Think about it, and find your answer.

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hyunsuks-beanie · 4 years ago

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Running Away With You

*Image Credits to rightful owners*

Bang Chan x reader; non idol AU; established relationship; fluff; midly suggestive at places

Word Count: 4.25k

A/N: A huge thank you to @youn9racha, for this super cute request. I am as much a sucker for road trips as I am for Chan, so I really enjoyed writing this!! I hope you like it as much as I did.

"Do you ever just want to pack your bags and run away in the night, without telling anyone?," you ask your boyfriend, Chan, as you both lay in bed one night. "That's an interesting question," he says, playing with your hair, "Though first I'd like to know what made you think of that." "Pfft. It's nothing too complex, Christopher. It's just a random thought that popped into my head," you say, while rolling your eyes at his inquisitive nature.

"Y/N, I know you, and I can sense that you've got something bothering that pretty head of yours, and making you want to run away. So tell me, what is it?," Chan speaks in a soothing tone, making you snuggle into his chest even more, while letting out a sigh. "It's just, work has been so crazy these past few days, and the pressures of the real world are getting to me. You remember when we were back in college? Whenever things got too hard, we used to go on road trips to clear our heads. Even a couple days away from the harsh real life were enough to rejuvenate us. I guess I just miss those times, now that real life responsibilities are wearing us down."

Once you're done with your little rant, Chan pulls your head up a little, making you look at him. He softly says, "Aww baby, I'm so sorry I didn't realize you've been struggling these past few days. I guess I've been too busy with my own work tonoticee. I know we're no longer in college, but I promise to you, that whenever the going gets tough, I'll do everything in my ability to help your through." "I know Channie, I know. I have you, and it's more than enough."

You give in to sleep after a while, and so, you fail to notice that Chan takes a little longer to fall asleep that night. He keeps thinking back on what you said earlier, carrying out an internal debate with himself. "Y/N is right. Work and responsibilities have taken a toll on us, and a road trip may be just what we need. But can we really afford to just 'run away?' There are too many projects, too many commitments. And we owe it to our colleagues to tell them that we will be away for a few days," he thinks to himself, before slowly drifting off to dreamland.

The next morning brings with itself a fresh hustle, but your face doesn't betray any sign of the frustrations you let come to the surface last night. But Chan knows better, and, seeing his reflection while getting ready for work, he realizes that his own expression mirrors yours. A thin veil to hide the fact that it's getting too much. At his office that day, he can't seem to focus on his work, since his mind keeps drifting back to your words. By the time the evening rolls around, he has made up his mind. He's going to run away with you, for a week anyway.

But a road trip needs some planning, and Chan wants this vacation to be the perfect little surprise for you. So, on his way home, he stops by at the convenience store to buy some essentials. Instant noodles, a few bottles of beer, disposable utensils, rental DVDs, he collects quite a few things, being reminded of your college days with each item he adds to his cart. In a moment of impulse, he even purchases a tent fit for two, and once he's done shopping, he hides everything in the boot of his car. You don't need to know of his plan, yet.

The following day, he leaves his office early, calling in a week's leave of absence due to some made-up reason. Instead of going home, he first drops by at your office. Not to meet you, but to get a similar application for leave approved on your behalf.

He finally heads back home to pack and ready a couple of things for your trip. "Y/N wanted to run away in the middle of the night, and that is what we'll do," he smiles to himself. When you come home, he remains tight-lipped about his little surprise for you, even though his excitement is trying to get the best of him.

Once the clock strikes twelve, he brings you out to his car, without telling you the reason. "Just please, come on! Don't you trust me?," he says, pouting. On his way out of the house, he picks up your phone from the couch, along the house keys. You don't notice this, however, as you're busy pestering him with questions. "Chan, why are we going out so late at night? What's going on? Tell me!" "You wanted to run away, right? Well, how about running away...... to the convenience store?," he smiles cheekily, making you giggle. "Gosh you're such a cheesy idiot," you say, getting into the car, still blissfully unaware of his intentions.

"Yeah, but I'm your cheesy idiot," he laughs, pressing his foot on the accelerator.

It doesn't take you long to realize that instead of driving over to the 24/7 close to your house, Chan has pulled onto the highway. You turn to look at him, only to see him smiling brightly, his eyes trained ahead. "Chan, what are you doing?," you ask, though feel like you already know the answer. "Running away with you," he says, taking your hand in his his, and bringing it up to his lips.

"What? But that was just a random rant! And what about work? We can't just disappear like that," you exclaim, to which, he only replies by giving you a knowing look. "Let me guess, you already informed our offices?" "Yes, and no," he quips. When you look at him quizzically, he elaborates, "I submitted applications for leave, making up some random excuse. So we have a whole week to ourselves." "But, what about essentials and supplies? We don't have anything to eat," you try to reason. He counters, "Babe, I've been planning this for two days, and I already stocked up on all our favourite snacks, drinks, and movies. I even got us a tent for days we want to sleep out in the open. I've got it all set, so don't you worry. The only thing I need you to do is to promise me that for the next seven days, you won't check your phone. I've already downloaded tons of songs and created at least 20 different playlists. You won't be getting any work-related messages, since I've taken care of that as well, and for directions, we'll take the traditional way, and ask around."

"Directions? Where exactly are we going anyway?," is your next question. To your surprise, he simply shrugs, before telling you that he doesn't have any specific place in mind. "Let's just wander away, going wherever the road takes us," he says, rather poetically, to which, you can't help but laugh. You then let out a soft sigh, making him look at you. "Sounds like a plan to me. Chan and Y/N, running away together, with no destination in mind," you smile, before reaching over and kissing his cheek.

"Let's play some music, shall we?," you ask, before hitting shuffle on the first playlist that pops up on your phone. You both settle in a comfortable silence, and soon enough, you begin to get drowsy. Chan notices this, and tells you to rest your eyes for a bit. "Promise to wake me up in like, two hours, so that I can take over the wheel," you yawn. "Okay fine bub, now sleep." Chan continues driving, occasionally stealing glances at your sleeping form. "How did I get so lucky?," he wonders, just like he does every day.

Morning finds you to be the one behind the wheel, as Chan naps contently in the passenger seat. The brightness of the sun finally wakes him up, and he realizes that you've left the highway, and are now driving through what appears to be the countryside. "I wonder where we're headed," he says while yawning. "Well, a signboard I saw earlier told me that we are somewhere in Jeonju," you reply. Instead of words, Chan's reply comes as a grumbling from his stomach. "Hungry," you quip, making him nod his head vigorously. You hit the breaks, before preparing some instant ramen for breakfast.

You eventually continue on your trip, and after a few hours, you find yourself in the midst of traditional Korean buildings, which seem to be from the Joseon dynasty. "Is this perhaps a tourist location?," wonders Chan loudly, making you reply, "Only one way to find out." You both get out of the car and do some asking around. You find out that the place where you houses the residences of the noblemen of old, and has now been converted into a shooting-cum-tourist spot. "Tourists can get traditional hanboks from that store, to complete the experience," an old woman tells you.

You turn to look at Chan, your eyes shining. Twenty minutes later, you exit the store, dresses from head to toe in a light blue hanbok. Chan's eyes nearly pop out when he sees you, and when he tells you the same, you can't help but blush.

You continue to hang around the place little while longer, and have dinner at a small eatery nearby.

"I feel like I'm 20 again. Thank you Channie," you say, holding his hand across the table. "Anything for you love," he winks.

Evening eventually comes around, and you guys hit the road once again. Around dinner time, you notice that you are crossing by a wood and supplies shop, and an idea strikes your mind. "Let's buy some wood and grill our meat!," you say excitedly, making Chan coo at how adorable you are. "Great idea babe. Let me park."

You quickly exit the car and visit the shop to buy some wood, then get started on your mini bonfire. It proves to be more difficult than you had thought, given how inexperienced the both of you are. In the end, you manage to get the fire going enough for the meat to be grilled, and turn around to ask Chan to bring in the eatables, when you see his face. It's completely covered in soot from his failed attempts at lighting the flame, making you double over in laughter. "You look so funny," you say while gasping for air. "Wouldn't be so funny if I got this soot on your face now, will it?," he retorts, coming after you. You try to run, but it's obviously in vain, as Chan grabs hold of you in under a minute. You both laugh harder than you have in months, and when you finally calm down, you give your boyfriend a tight hug. He hugs you back, and whispers, "I love you." "I love you too, Channie," you say, "Now go and get the meat, I'm hungry." "Way to ruin the moment, Y/N," he grumbles as you push him away.

After dinner, you walk up to the shop owner to thank him, and ask his permission to camp nearby. "It rained a few days ago, so the ground is still wet, and will be uncomfortable. But you can rent a room here for the night if you'd like," he offers. "That'll be great sir, thank you for the help." Chan says, coming up behind you. The shop owner gives you the keys to a room, and before leaving, says something that leaves you both red at the ears. "No funny business here, please. I know you both are young, and controlling yourself is hard. But I'd rather you didn't 'play around' unnecessarily on my bed."

You get changed and climb into the bed, snuggling up to each other. "First day down, babe," you smile with your eyes closed. When Chan doesn't reply, you open them, only to find your man staring at you with love in his eyes. "This is pure healing for me, thank you for suggesting this trip, love," he says. You talk about anything and everything for a while, and then suddenly, you feel Chan's soft lips pressing against yours. He gives you a sweet kiss, and pulling away, says, "About what the old man said earlier.....," while smirking. You shove his chest, saying, "We shouldn't," making him pout. "Although, making out doesn't count as 'funny business,' does it?" And that's enough to make him press his lips back to yours, moving so as to hover over you.

You wrap your arms around his back, pulling you closer to him. He licks your lower lip, making you part your lips and allowing his tongue to enter. After a while, you break away, only to grab his T-shirt and take it off his body, before wrapping your hands around his bare back. Needless to say, the two of you didn't get much time to sleep that night.

You get started on your way again the next day, and around mid-day, you see a milestone telling you that you are entering Iksan. The small town seems a lifetime away from your hectic lives in Seoul, and you spend the day going from shop to shop, buying small trinkets and stuff that are reminiscent of the country life. The residents welcome you with open arms, and more than once, you find an old couple telling you how cute you look together.

"He's a keeper, that one. Don't let him go," a lady says to you, pointing at Chan, who can be seen playing with some kids. "I won't," you smile.

That night, you stay over at a family's house, who were nice enough to allow you to sleep on their futon. You have dinner with them, during which the kid's ask Chan, "Are you two married?," making him choke on his food. "I'm sorry for that, they are learning about families and marriage in school these days," says their mother. "It's all right," you smile, "But no, we aren't married." "But do you plan on getting married soon?," the kids persist.

You and Chan look at each other and smile, before saying in unison, "Yes. One day."

The next morning you take the wheel from Chan, and the both of you drive of in silence, as High School Musical plays on your dashboard screen. After a while, you say, "What is it, Channie? You've been staring at me," "It's just that, you seem way too quiet. You've been like that since last night, after dinner," he replies, "What's the matter? Are you okay?" "I'm fine, just been thinking." "About?" "About us," you begin, elaborating when you see him looking at you expectantly. "When those kids asked us if we were married, it got me thinking.....I love being with you, I love waking up next to you. We live together any way, and share all the burdens that come with it too. So I guess...getting married to you wouldn't be so bad after all," you say softly.

"Is this your way of proposing to me?," giggles your boyfriend. "What? No! I mean, I did say it would be nice to get married, but I don't have a ring right now. And I meant it when I said 'one day,' but it's not today," you hurriedly say. Chan bursts out laughing at this, "I know love, I'm not ready yet either. But yes, if I have to get married, I'd rather marry you than anyone else."

Around noon, you decide to set up camp in a forest clearing. It takes you a few hours to get the tent up and ready, as you keep getting delayed because you can't stop fooling around. Amid Chan getting himself wrapped with the tent instead of unwrapping it, and you assembling the rods the wrong way up, you spend some not-so-productive, but enjoyable quality time in each other's presence, something you didn't know you had been craving for.

Evening rolls by, and you have a light dinner with ramen, some roasted chicken, and beer, following which, you lay down on a picnic mat, with your head on Chan's arm. "The stars look so beautiful, don't they Channie?," you softly ask. "Not as beautiful as you," he says cheesily, making you hide your face into his side. "But yeah, you're right. I really wanted to go stargazing with you, but we never got the time," he sighs. "I'm so happy we came on this trip, love." You open your mouth to speak, but just then, you notice a star shooting across the sky. "Channie! Channie get up, it's a shooting star!," you squeal, before closing your eyes and praying. Once you open them, you notice Chan looking at you with a gaze full of love. "Didn't you wish for something?," you ask. "I did," he smiles. "But what about you? What did you wish for?"

"Come closer Mr. Bang, I'm not about to announce my wish to the whole world," you whisper slyly. He leans in closer to you, only to have you say, "You don't tell others what you wished for," before pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. He smiles into the kiss, before breaking away and hugging you tight.

The next day turns out to be the last before you have to turn back homeward, and so, Chan suggests you make the best of it. "From what I know about the country's geography, we should be close to a beach somewhere here," he says, making you look at him with your eyes shining. "Too bad we're not going to get help from the GPS, but I'm really enjoying the phone detox," you smirk. "Who needs GPS when we've got people? Look there, we're gonna enter a city soon, so let's ask our way around," he replies. An hour and a half later, you come across a milestone that tells you the beach is a mile away. Once there, you look for a deserted spread of sand, keen on not getting stuck in an unnecessary crowd. "We face enough of that in the city, I just want to be alone with you," you whisper, taking his hand in his.

When you finally succeed in finding such a place, Chan giggles, "Good thing I packed our swimming gear as well, right?" "You did well sweetie," you say, booping his nose softly. After getting changed, you spend the next few hours playing in the water. Suddenly, Chan pulls you flush into his chest, and whispers in your ear, "You look so hot wearing that, and with water dripping down your body, I'm really finding it hard to stay away." "Then don't," you say, biting your lip. One thing leads to another, and you're thankful for the changing shack nearby.

By the time the sun starts to set, Chan has pulled you out of the water, and is making you dance with him on the sand, after bringing your phones and portable speaker from the car. Waltzing to the music, you shyly say, "I love you Channie," making him blush and reply with an "I love you too, my cute baby."

After dinner you climb atop the roof of your car, talking about your younger days. "You remember when we got into a huge fight once, back in college? And I was about to break up with you, only to have you whisk me away on a road trip, just like you did this time," you say, laying your head on his shoulder. "It did get you to stick around with me though," he replies, laying his chin on your head. "And you remember how we first met? You spilled your latte all over my T-shirt, and then took me to the infirmary to check for any burns," he reminds you, making you throw your head back in laughter. "You kept whining for a year over how you missed out on being the 'campus heartthrob' because of that incident, when in reality, you still were the most popular freshman," you jab a finger at his chest, smiling.

"Okay, I've got a secret. I wasn't actually sad about the campus heartthrob thing, since I already knew everyone was head over heels for me," he grins, making you punch his arm. "Hey! Let me finish first. I knew everyone loved me, but I only had eyes for you. And whining was just a tactic to get you to feel sorry for me and go on a date with me." You fake gasp at this, exclaiming, "Treachery! And here I thought you were genuinely sulky about that. do you have any idea how guilty I felt that whole year?!" When he simply states at you, unamused, you add through a pout, "I'm planning on revoking your cuddle privileges."

All of a sudden, you realize that Chan is moving over to lay on top of you, trapping you between him and the roof. "You know you can't resist me, babe. So don't even try," he says. "You are right about that," you say, pulling him for a kiss.

You both end up remaining awake till dawn the next day, and decide to start on your journey home around mid-way, after having napped inside the car for a few hours. You get started on your way just after noon, with Chan behind the wheel, and you eating (and feeding him) from a packet of gummy bears in the passenger seat. You re-enter the city you had seen earlier the previous day, and decide to spend some time roaming around. It's a fairly big city, but still much quieter and more peaceful than Seoul. You pass on visiting the mall, reasoning that you do so too frequently back home.

Soon enough though, you come across a store that displays a signboard saying, "Free wine tasting session for couples." You both look at each other, and with a smirk, Chan says what is on your mind. "Can't pass up on sophisticated wine for free now, can we?" You giggle and say, "Nope, absolutely not." And so, in you go. The session proves to be equal parts fun and educational. From the Chardonnay to the Pinot Noir, you go through with the tasting of at least 20 different types of wines. While you actually stick to the literal meaning of the word "tasting," drinking no more than a sip per drink, Chan goes all out, and not too long after, he's totally drunk. "Hey there beautiful, mind telling me your name?," he tries to act smooth with you, making you facepalm as you say, "I still get surprised about how low your alcohol tolerance is for your size," you shake your head.

Once you leave the tasting, half dragging, half carrying a wasted Chan who continuously tries to flirt with you, you decide to take the wheel and hit the road to the outskirts of the city, and cover the remainder of the trip once you're fully sober. When you cross over the city's borders and re-enter the road in the wilderness, you hit the brakes. You let Chan sleep, knowing that waking him up will only give him a hangover. Getting out of the car, you get yourself something to eat from the boot, and once you're full, you snuggle up to him, throwing a blanket over the both of you.

You wake up around nine at night, and as you had predicted, you see Chan holding his head in agony. You nurse him for while, before putting him back to sleep, then continue down the road. You keep sneaking glances at his sleeping form, smiling to yourself when you notice how peaceful he seems, something he hasn't looked like in ages. "We really needed this. Thank you for always knowing what I need, and for always taking care of me. I love you," you thank him silently.

When he finally wakes the next morning, he sees you huddled up in the driver's seat, and he can feel his heart swell with love for you. He gets out of the car, then picks you up and softly places you on the backseat so that you can rest well. Looking at your expression, he can easily see how content and truly happy you are. You are his reason to keep going, and if this little getaway idea of his could help you find your reason to keep going (unbeknownst to him, he himself is your reason to endure too), his heart is at ease. Sure, your week off is going to end soon, but he's positive that you will have rejuvenated yourself and would have gathered enough beautiful memories to last you a while.

Sure, going back to Seoul would mean going back to the hustle and bustle of your lives, but hey, he knows that that you by his side, he'd be ready to run away from home again any day, because his home is with you. But even more than that, he knows that with you by his side, life will be just a tad bit easier. Because you will always be there to remind him of who he was back in college. You will keep the young, carefree boy who loved you to bits, alive in him. And he'll do the same for you. And with that thought, he drives off into the distance, back to where you started from, with a smile on his face.

Because at the end of the day, you both have each other, and that's all that matters.

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helloalycia · 4 years ago

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overstepping [one] // jane banner (Wind River)

summary: after getting several voicemails from your colleague and best friend with her asking for your backup, you attempt to call her back, only to get no answer.

warning/s: mentions of rape, murder and injuries.

author’s note: this is a two parter because i finally watched Wind River and it broke my heart but also lizzie was v cute and i felt the need to write this, hope you like it x

part two | masterlist | wattpad

"C'mon, work you stupid phone," I complained for the millionth time, before standing on the chair to get a better signal.

When I saw the bars in the corner of the screen increase, a grin appeared on my lips. I loved my parents, but the fact that they lived in a remote cabin in Tennessee with zero signal was not my favourite thing.

When the bars remained, my phone decided to actually be helpful and receive all the messages, calls and voicemails I missed. I did a brief flick through, noticing nothing was too important that couldn't wait for me to return to work. As an FBI agent, I rarely got time off. And now that I had taken a two month vacation to spend with my parents, I was adamant on enjoying it, even if I was missing work a smidge.

Next were the calls, which I noticed were mostly from my colleague and close friend, Jane Banner. I furrowed my brows, realising she'd left me several voicemails, too, which was strange since she knew I was on a break from work. What could be so important?

I sighed, glancing down at my uncomfortable position standing on the chair and leaning above the wardrobe. It was the only place in the house with decent signal and the only other place that wasn’t in the middle of nowhere was twenty minutes out. Telling myself I'd just listen to one voicemail to make sure everything was okay, I played the earliest message.

"Hey, Y/N. I'm sorry, I know you're on a break, but I just had to talk to you," it began, and Jane sounded troubled. "I was in Vegas, as you know, but I've been called out to a reservation in Wyoming where this poor girl was–" She paused, releasing a shaky breath. "She was raped and left to die out in the cold. I thought I could send in another team to take a look – y'know, usual protocol. But the coroner won't rule it a homicide and you know what that means."

I swallowed hard, knowing exactly what that meant. If it wasn't ruled a homicide, no backup would come and we had to move onto the next case. But if this girl was raped and left to die, the rapist was still out there and wasn't getting caught by the FBI.

"I can't just leave it and go," Jane continued quietly, with that recognisable passion for her job evident in her voice. "I have to do what I can. But I... I can't do this alone. It's not like other cases, Y/N. It's different out here. And there's only so much their police department can do. I know you're on a break, but I was hoping that, maybe, you could come out here and help me? It's the Wind River Indian Reservation. That's it, I guess. Bye."

The message ended and I found myself chewing on my lower lip anxiously, unable to think about anything other than Jane now. She'd worried me with that one voicemail alone – I couldn't imagine what the others said.

She was usually so good at dealing with cases, but this seemed different. She sounded shaken up, attempting to put on a brave face by the sounds of it. What was so different about this case? She didn't need me. She was capable.

Curiosity got the better of me and I played the second message, ignoring the discomfort in my arms as I stretched to maintain the signal. It was left a day after the first one.

"Hey, so I just remembered that you said you don't get much signal up there with your parents," she began apologetically. "I don't mean to– shit, it's so cold..." There was a pause, a noise in the background, then she continued, "Sorry, just turning up the heating. Anyway, I was saying. I don't mean to intrude on your break. I just– I'm hoping you'll find signal and hear this because I could really use your help. I think we've got a lead on who may have done it. It was hectic today. Really could've used that backup."

She chuckled dryly at her attempt at a joke, but all I felt was guilt. She sounded exhausted within a day of being there.

"I hope you get this," she finished with a sigh. "I should go. Got a busy day tomorrow. Hope you're doing okay. Bye."

I wasted no time in playing the next message. Three days into her case.

"I don't know why I keep sending these," she began with a hoarse voice, and my heart clenched at the sound of it. "You clearly aren't getting them in time. But it's easier talking to you like this than not at all."

It went quiet, so quiet that I thought she may have finished and forgot to hang up. But then she spoke up again, a whimper escaping her lips.

"It's so hard," she admitted. "We've covered worse cases, but this one... everything about it makes me uncomfortable. Something doesn't feel right. I've got a lead – we think it might be the boyfriend who did it and we're gonna see him tomorrow. But I don't know."

I frowned, squeezing my phone tightly because I didn't recognise the girl speaking as my friend. This girl sounded broken and I wondered what she could have discovered that made her like this.

"I've got the police department with me for backup," she said with a sniffle. "And Cory, he's a hunter whose been helping me with the case. They're all gonna be with me tomorrow. But I wish you were here, too. You always make things easier."

The lump in my throat wouldn't disappear no matter how many times I swallowed it. She made things easier, too. Always. And all I wanted to was be by her side and be there for her like she always was for me.

"Sorry about this," she said with a watery laugh, and I could imagine the embarrassed smile on her face as she did. "I sound like such an idiot. Never mind these messages. Just enjoy your break. I shouldn't be worrying you like this. See you when you get back."

The message ended and I checked to see if there were anymore, but to my disappointment, there wasn't. That message was from a few days ago and she hadn't sent anything since which was concerning in itself.

Trying not to panic for no reason, I called Jane. Hopefully everything was okay and I was being stupid. She was a fully-trained FBI agent. She could take care of herself. Right?

The call rang and rang, but nobody picked up. One missed call. No biggie. She probably heard it and couldn't find her phone or something. So, I tried again.

More ringing and no answer. Okay, no big deal. Just try again.

Another call and no answer. The chewing on my lip became more intense. Why the hell wasn't she picking up? Was she still working the case?

I waited an hour, trying again at ten minute intervals, unable to fight my concern. But there was no answer every time and I realised that I couldn't sit and wait for her to call back. Not after how she sounded in those voicemails.

No, I had to go there. She needed backup.

—

Wyoming was way colder than I could have prepared for.

I mean, technically, I prepared for nothing. I bid my parents a goodbye, threw some random clothes in a bag and caught the next plane over there. I tried for Jane's phone constantly, knowing she was never one to ignore me for this long, but there was no point. She wasn't answering, which could only mean so much.

When I reached the reservation, I had no idea where anything was or what I was looking for exactly. I just knew that as soon as the taxi dropped me off in the centre of town, I didn't know where to go.

There were a lot of locals hanging around, so my first port of call was to ask them if they'd seen Jane around – or Agent Banner, as she may have introduced herself. I showed them a picture of her on my phone, described her with vivid detail, but they just stared at me like I was crazy. I was starting to believe I was at one point, until I stopped by the convenience store.

As worried as I was for Jane's whereabouts, the chill in my bones was real. Especially my hands, which I was certain would fall off any minute. So, I decided to buy some gloves and also ask the cashier if he'd seen Jane around or heard anything of her. Whilst I was doing that, a customer caught my attention, probably having overheard my conversation.

"Did you say Jane Banner?" he asked with a quirked brow, interrupting my purchase. "The FBI lady, right?"

I nodded quickly, facing him. "Yes, that's her! D'you know where she is?"

He nodded casually. "Yeah, she's in the hospital. That big shootout that happened a few days ago, right?"

My stomach dropped. "The what?"

"The shootout," he repeated, not aware of the concern in my face. "At the drill site. A bunch of officers were killed and the FBI lady was one of the only one left standing." He tutted as he shook his head. "Very lucky that one."

A shootout? The hospital? Only one left standing? No wonder she hadn't been answering her calls.

"Can you– do you–" I stopped, clearing my throat and trying to stop freaking out. "Which hospital?"

After getting the address from him, I caught a taxi to the only hospital in town and prayed to God that Jane was okay. The one thing she'd asked for was backup and I couldn't even give her that. If I'd just looked at my messages sooner... fuck.

Getting past the front desk and to Jane's room was no issue at all. A quick flash of my FBI badge was enough for the receptionist to give me the details and wave me through. My heart was constricting in my chest the longer it took. What if it was really bad? What if that customer's intel was outdated and Jane was– no. I couldn't afford to think like that.

Upon finding Jane's room, I spotted an older man leaving through the door, being careful to close it behind him. I didn't recognise him at all.

"Excuse me," I called, earning his attention. "Is that Jane Banner's room you just came from?"

He seemed surprised, glancing over his shoulder to make sure I was speaking to him, before nodding. "Yes. Sorry, who are you?"

I pulled my badge from my pocket and showed him, though I doubted anyone would take me seriously when my eyes were watering at thought of Jane being severely injured.

"I'm her friend," I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat before lowering my badge.

"Oh, you're the backup that didn't come," he said with realisation.

My eyes flickered to the floor guiltily. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"I didn't mean it like that," he added quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

I shook my head, lifting my eyes to meet his. "It's okay. I should've... I should've been here." It went quiet as he didn't know what to say, so I looked to him halfheartedly. "I assume you're from the police department, one of the ones who helped Jane."

"Not exactly," he said, before putting out his hand for me to shake. "Name's Cory. I'm a hunter by trade."

Returning his handshake, I recalled Jane's voicemail. "Oh, yeah, she mentioned you... thank you for helping her out."

When I couldn’t, I added in my head.

He offered me a small smile and I couldn't find it in myself to return it. I must have looked like shit, since he gave me a pitiful gaze.

"You want me to catch you up before you go in?" he asked, nodding to Jane's door. "She's okay by the way."

I nodded, sucking up a breath. My nerves were eating away at me the longer I didn't see Jane – half of me was terrified of what I'd find, and the other half was afraid she'd be upset or angry because I left her to it, even when she pleaded for my help.

Cory and I took a seat down the hall and he proceeded to explain about the case and how they found the guy who raped that poor girl. The shootout was the worst bit, making me shiver with discomfort. Apparently, Jane had gotten blasted with a shotgun, puncturing her torso and neck despite the vest she wore. All of the officers with her were killed and by the sounds of it, Jane almost was, too. But Cory managed to take out the criminals and the rapist himself. When he was finished telling me, I had no words.

"She's a bit shaken up, but her surgery went well," Cory reassured with a short nod. "Does she know you're coming?"

I shook my head, voice thick with emotion. "She wouldn't answer her phone. I guess I know why now."

Cory nodded, rubbing the back of his neck before sparing me a consoling glance. "She talked about you a lot. I think it'll cheer her up seeing you. You should go."

My eyes met his, teary and stinging with unshed tears. "Thank you so much."

He shrugged bashfully, but he didn't realise all that he'd done. I gave him a small, tight smile before standing up with a sigh. No point dwelling anymore – I had to see her.

Pushing my selfish feelings aside, I sucked it up and approached Jane's room. She would either want to punch me or not, but either way, I had to see if she was okay. And so, when I opened the door slightly, heart racing in my chest, said heart jumped in my throat at the sight of her.

She was laying on the bed with wires stuck in her and, only from what I could see, bandages were covering the side of her neck. I thought she was sleeping at first, but then her head tilted towards the door curiously, and bright blue eyes widened with disbelief.

"Y/N?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "What are you– how did you get here?"

I closed the door behind me and hesitantly approached her bedside, unable to stop my eyes from soaking in the sight of her. She looked so feeble and vulnerable and unlike how I saw her last. Then, Cory's words came back to me and I began to imagine the worst scenario of her getting shot, blood seeping from her wounds, the life draining from her eyes...

"Y/N," she called, and I looked to her startlingly, hoping I didn't look as troubled as I felt.

"Sorry," I said, clearing my throat. "I, er– the messages. Voicemail. I heard them and tried calling you back, but..."

She pursed her lips, exhaling with a wince and looking up at the ceiling, as if suddenly remembering she left messages in the first place.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," I said quietly, guilt seeping back in.

"No, no, don't be," she said, and I just about noticed the pink dusting her cheeks. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have interrupted your vacation like that. I know you said you wanted a break and–"

"Jane, no, don't even say that," I cut her off, reaching for her hand in an instant. She looked my way, eyes flickering between mine nervously. I squeezed her hand gently and said, "I should have been here. You needed me and I– I didn't come. Maybe if I had, this could have ended differently."

She tried to smile, but I could see the discomfort in her eyes. "It's not that bad, honestly. It just looks bad."

I pressed my lips together, eyes falling to the bandage on her neck. Even though it was big and covered her wound, I could still make out the bruising around it from the impact of the shell. I didn't imagine the torso wound looking any different, and that thought alone made me regret leaving her alone. It was very much as bad as it looked; I knew that and she knew that.

Her lips trembled as she avoided my eyes, her own tearing up. I pushed away my guilt momentarily and changed the subject.

"So, I met Cory. He seems like a great guy."

She didn't say anything as she seemed lost in thought. Either that or she was trying not to cry in front of me. I hoped it wasn't the latter, since the last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable.

"You know," I said, when she wouldn't speak, "I'm pretty sure I told you to stay safe before I left for my vacation."

At my poor attempt to lighten the mood, she cracked a small, tight smile, but a smile nonetheless, and my racing heart slowed down momentarily.

"I'm glad you're okay," I said, now that I had her attention again, and she looked my way with a softened expression. "Kind of okay. But you know... okay."

Thankfully, she knew what I meant and her hand tightened around mine.

"I'm glad you came," she returned, and I couldn't look away even if I tried. She was always able to trap me with a single gaze.

With a tug of her hand, she motioned for me to sit on the edge of her bed, so I did. And then she began to ask me about my vacation, what I'd been up to this past month, how my parents were... basically anything and everything except for the case. And it was understandable, since she was reminded of it all the time. If I could be a form of escapism for her, so be it. It was the least I could do.

We spoke for hours until the nurse came in to let me know visiting hours were over and I'd have to come back tomorrow. With a regretful sigh, I got up from my seat on her bedside and stretched my limbs.

"Where are you staying?" she asked, a slight frown on her lips.

I smiled awkwardly, realising I didn't think that far ahead. "I'm not gonna lie, I don't know. I came straight here. There's gotta be a hotel or something in this town, right?"

She nodded and flicked her hand to the shelves on the other side of the room. "You should stay in my room in the inn. Key's in my bag over there."

"Oh, I don't have to do that–"

"Y/N, it's not like I'm going to be staying there anytime soon," she cut me off, smiling halfheartedly. "Please."

I chewed on my lip and nodded, giving in. When I grabbed her keys from her bag, I stopped by her bedside and gave her a supportive smile.

"I'll back first thing in the morning, if you don't mind," I said, and she finally gave me a smile that reached her eyes.

"I'd like that."

I nodded, resting a hand on hers and squeezing comfortingly. "Goodnight."

—

Though I knew Jane was okay, I still couldn't stop myself from thinking about her all night. The sight of her wounds and the broken expression on her face was enough to keep me awake. And the guilt that came with it all... why couldn't I have just picked up my damn phone?

As promised, I returned to Jane's hospital room the next morning, this time bringing some breakfast snacks from the hospital cafeteria since I knew the food would be much better than whatever they were serving her. Judging by the content expression on her face when I gave it to her, I was right.

When she finished eating, she was able to sit up slightly and move over on her bed, urging for me to join her and watch some TV with her. There was no way I was going to turn down that offer, so I slid next to her and kept a packet of sliced apples between us as we watched whatever was playing on the TV.

About halfway through watching, she spoke up randomly, taking me by surprise.

"When are you leaving?"

I tore my gaze from the screen and realised she was staring at me with intense green eyes.

"When you're well enough to," I answered truthfully.

She looked down to her hands. "You don't have to stay with me. You can go."

I studied her profile, knowing it was the wrong time to appreciate how stunning she looked even when she was makeup-free, sporting a bed head and tired.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked softly, afraid I may have overstepped.

She was quick to shake her head slightly, finally lifting her gaze to meet mine with glossy ones. "No."

I nodded, trying very hard not to smile, cleared my throat and grabbed her hand. "Then I'm not leaving. I'll be right here until you get better and I can take you home."

A ragged breath escaped her lips as she nodded in response. We both looked back to the TV and I noticed she didn't let go of my hand, her fingers warm to the touch and giving me goosebumps at the contact. But I wouldn't have had it any other way.

#jane banner #jane banner x you #jane banner x reader #jane banner imagine #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen imagine #wind river imagine #wind river

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some-messed-up-writing-for-you · 4 years ago

Text

"A drunk villain topping a sober yet submissive hero?🙏"

Request #9

Warning: nsfw.

A fun little idea! This is also the last request from my old blog's inbox, which I'm glad about because my current inbox is already filling with new requests. (Keep 'em coming tho! I love your ideas!💖)

I also gotta say, I've been on fire recently! I've been writing so much I got drafts saved and ready to be posted! Hopefully, I don't jinx myself here lmao.

Anyways, enjoy! ^^

~~~~

Hero weaved through the crowd of criminals, wine glass in hand, as they kept an eye out for their target. They have been sent out on a mission by Organization. They were to find Villain, capture them, and at last bring them to justice.

The hero was currently at a ball being held by Supervillain. Their disguise consisted of state-of-the-art technology forming a hologram over their entire body, making them look like Other Villain, with whom Villain is on good terms. Combined with a voice changer, they would no doubt fool the villain and catch them off guard.

Hero's plan was pretty basic. They were going to find Villain, drag them off somewhere away from the party, pin them down, and cuff them.

"Simple, but effective." - they thought to themself. The hero's only issue now was that they still had no idea where the hell Villain was-

"Well, hello~." - a voice slurred from behind Hero, and before they could even turn around, an arm hooked around their shoulders, and Villain's ugly mug was right in their face.

Getting into character, the hero responded, "Ah, Villain! It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Mmm, sure has. Hey, how's about we... make up for lost time, eh?" - the villain asked, leaning even closer to the disguised hero's face, running a finger down their jawline suggestively. The smell of alcohol wafting off them made Hero's eyes sting, but they played along nonetheless, "Well... I don't see why not~."

"Oh, this is perfect." - Hero thought. They have been preparing for this for weeks. They had to catch Other Villain a few weeks back, just so that they could pull this off. And out of all possible outcomes, this was the best and most convenient one.

"But perhaps let's go somewhere more... private." - the hero suggested, dragging Villain along down a nearby hallway. The other did not resist, letting 'Other Villain' pull them into a random bedroom as they drunkenly giggled to themself.

Hero locked the door behind them, and before Villain could react, they grabbed their arms and pinned them down on the side of the bed, turning off their disguise.

Villain looked surprised, then confused, and then something seemed to click in their head.

"Oh, my. Hero, if you wanted to have some fun that badly, you could have just asked~."

It was the wrong thing that clicked. Hero's face heated up at the other's words. They found themself at a loss. And in their surprise failed to realize that their hold on the villain had loosened.

Villain, drunk out of their mind, somehow noticed their slack hold, and before the hero knew it, their positions had switched. The villain was on top of them, pinning their arms above their head and grinning down at them, their bodies pressed against each other.

And as their crotches brushed, Hero's face turned beet red. They couldn't stop a shudder from running through them as the villain whispered in their ear, "So, how about it, Hero~? Wanna play~?"

The hero tried to stutter out an answer but found that they couldn't. They looked for a possible way out, and to their surprise, noticed that Villain's grip wasn't as strong as it could be. They have been pinned down by the other plenty of times in the past during their fights, so they knew that they could easily escape right now.

...

But did they want to?

Hero could feel their blood rushing down to their sex as the villain rubbed against them. They knew they shouldn't be letting this happen, but... Villain just looked so hot like this. And their touch was making the hero want more.

"F-Fine, let's play." - the villain only giggled in reply and locked their lips together, kissing hard and with need. The feeling distracting the hero's senses. They inhaled sharply as the other's grip suddenly increased. Have- Have they been pretending to be weakened?!

Hero could not escape anymore, and honestly...

...they didn't mind in the slightest.

As their kiss continued, Villain dragged the hero to the middle of the bed. Releasing their wrists, they ran their hands down Hero's chest and then began unbuttoning their shirt. In their drunken state, however, they struggled and tore the shirt open out of annoyance.

Hero whined a bit at the sight of the loose buttons flying and decided to ruin the other's shirt the same way. They went to grab the fabric and tear it off the other, only to have their hands pinned at their sides.

A "Tsk, tsk." sounded in their ear as Villain scolded them, "You don't get to touch me unless I say so." - the sudden chiding caught the hero off guard, and they couldn't stop the pit that grew in their stomach from the villain assuming control.

"Understand~?" - Villain asked, their lips brushing against the shell of Hero's ear, eliciting a small gasp from them. A wave of pleasure shot through them as the other nibbled on their earlobe.

"Y-Yes." - the hero managed to mutter out, somehow already breathless. Barely anything has happened yet, so why were they freaking out so much?! Why did- Why did it feel so... good to be below Villain like this?

Was it just the danger of letting their nemesis have control over them? The adrenaline of being at their mercy?

The excitement of being so close together?

"Good~." - the villain purred above them, running their hands across every bit of Hero's torso, dragging their nails down the other's back, arching it and making a shiver travel down their spine.

The hero had to bite back a moan as the other ground against them once more. They wanted to pull the rest of Villain's clothes off but knew that they couldn't, that they weren't allowed to.

That powerlessness only served to turn them on further. Hero clawed at the plush bedsheets below them, bunching up the fine material between their fingers. The villain chuckled at the sight, leaving a trail of kisses down the other's neck. Going down their chest, they bit the hero occasionally, bruising their flesh and making them whine needly.

Villain went even lower, tugging down the hero's pants, but only slightly, not enough to reveal their sensitive genitalia. They left even more kisses on them, licking their skin, making Hero inhale shakily and wonder what the villain's tongue would feel like just a little bit lower.

That pondering only worsened as Villain forced their legs apart and mouthed them through their pants, teasing the hero, who this time couldn't help the moan that slipped past their lips.

Hero tried to grab the other's head on instinct. They wanted to keep them there, for that sweet feeling to continue but stopped themself halfway, remembering how the villain forbade them from touching them. They grasped at the bedsheets once again, knuckles hurting from their hard grip.

"Good hero~." - Villain praised, making the hero blush even more, as they turned their head to the side, trying to hide and smush it into the pillows. Their face, however, was back on full display within seconds as the villain suddenly pulled their pants down further and took Hero into their mouth.

The hero couldn't stop the curse that left them alongside Villain's name, which they began to moan louder the more the villain licked and sucked at their privates. The feeling of the other's teeth teasingly dragging down them made Hero's back arch again, and the threat of Villain being able to bite down on them made their insides twist.

They whimpered as the villain suddenly pulled away from them, only to swallow the lump that had formed in their throat as the criminal stripped themself of their remaining clothing, revealing themself to the hero lying below them.

"Like what you see~?" - Villain asked, giggling. The alcohol in their system still making them giddy. Hero could only stare at them, impossibly red in the face as they answered, breathless, "Yes."

The villain leaned forward, once more looming over the other, and the hero whined at the sight, pleading, "V-Villain, please can I touch you? Please, I- I want to touch you, please."

"Aww, begging already?" - the villain teased, taking hold of Hero's hips and positioning themself against them. The hero went to beg more, but only a mixture of a moan and a whine left them as Villain slid into them without warning.

The villain's pace was slow and surprisingly steady, considering how drunk they were. Hero held onto the bedsheets like their life depended on it. They wanted to touch the other so, so badly.

Villain leaned down and caught their lips in a light kiss, running their hands up the hero's sides, making them squirm. A gasp left Hero as the villain hit them in the right spot. The other grinned and pushed against it, again and again, thrusting in quickly and roughly, but slowly pulling out and then repeating the cycle until the hero was begging them again.

"F-Fuck! Villain, please!" - Hero yelled across the room, their mind so clouded with lust that they have forgotten all the enemies that surrounded them, all the villains and criminals alike partying just a short distance away. So many people, which wouldn't hesitate to kill them on sight.

Villain merely grinned. They could feel their orgasm coming closer and decided that they have messed around for long enough, "Hero~..."

Said hero focused on them, as best as they could anyway, and exhaled weakly as the villain's words registered in their clouded brain.

"You may touch me~."

Hero wasted no time hooking their limbs around the other. They moaned as their lips crushed together, as Villain began to pound into them without mercy.

The feeling of their skin against each other, the sheer amount of intimacy, and physical contact quickly drove the hero over the edge. And as they yelled out the villain's name, they too felt their blissful finish wash over them.

As the two began to gasp for air, slowly coming down from their high, Villain slid off of Hero, whose eyes were closed as they tried to steady their breathing.

The hero's eyes snapped open, however, at the feeling of power suppressing cuffs locking around their wrists.

"W-Wait, what is-" - they tried but were interrupted as the door suddenly burst open, and Supervillain's henchmen flooded the room, followed by their boss.

"Are you quite done yet?" - the supervillain asked Villain, an impatient look on their face that only made the villain giggle, adding to Supervillain's annoyance.

"Yeaaah, I guess I am." - the villain responded, ignoring the shocked hero beside them as they got up from the bed and approached the supervillain.

"Unless you wanna have some fun too~?" - they asked, leaning against the other criminal, still very much but-ass naked.

Supervillain only pushed them off and growled out, "Ugh, don't touch me. You smell like heroism and righteousness. Disgusting."

"Aww, but then... don't you wanna make me smell like chaos and evilness, again~?" - Villain playfully pushed, stretching their body in a teasing manner.

The supervillain only grumbled under their breath, "Oh, you stupid fucking..." before turning to their henchmen and barking out some orders at them.

The henchmen grabbed Hero and left the room. Supervillain relocked the door behind them and proceeded to drag Villain back towards the bed.

#hero x villain #villain x hero #writing #writeblr #hero #villain #supervillain #writing prompt #prompt #request prompts #prompt request #request

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mintelepathy · 4 years ago

Text

"From now on, you won't be alone anymore"

idol!jungkook x reader/oc

word count: +2.0k

genre: fluff¿

warnings: swear words¿

summary: jungkook can't stop thinking about the girl he met at a convenience store in the middle of the night and he can't help but return to see her again.

mlist

Jungkook can't sleep today, he's been sitting on the floor of his living room for almost three hours now, a piece of paper placed on his coffee table and a pen in his right hand.

Writing lyrics was easy when he felt inspired, but today it wasn't the case, he really wanted to make some progress with his mixtape but it seems that it wasn't the right time now.

He gave up. He knew that his attempts to write some lyrics were in vain for the moment, he needed to do something else, maybe something that could inspire him.

He often goes for a walk at night around his neighborhood, the later it is the better for him, it's the only time of the day where he doesn't feel like being spied, he understands what fame brings but sometimes people really step out of the line, and he wasn't happy with that, let's not misunderstand, he loves when fans approached him respectfully and talked to him, he just doesn't like when people follow him around with bad intentions.

He didn't even waste his time changing his clothes, he grabbed a coat because it was chilly outside and headed to the streets.

The night was quite peaceful, mostly because it was 3 in the morning, but it was a different kind of peace, and he enjoyed it. Trees filled the area where he lived creating a gentle wind, feeling the night breeze was something he loved, he stopped walking for a moment and took a big breath with his eyes closed. The air felt clean compared to other days.

When he opened his eyes the first thing he spotted was a convenience store crossing the street. He usually doesn't have any late snack, even more now that he is on a diet, but today he'll make an exception.

He made his way to the store with no rush and opened the door, it was his first time there, it wasn't like he didn't visit convenience stores often but that he had never seen that place before the times he went for a walk.

He greeted the girl who was working there and headed straight to the shelves looking for kombucha tea and ramen, he had the intention of eating the ramen there since those kind of stores had microwaves, so people were able to prepare their instant food and eat it right away.

But there was a problem, the kombucha tea was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the counter, you found yourself watching the boy who just entered the store looking around the shelves for something unsuccessfully, you decided to make your way towards him to see if he needed any help.

"Excuse me, do you need help with anything?" The boy was wearing a big black bucket hat and a black face mask so it was quite difficult to see how his face looked.

"Uhm yeah, do you sell kombucha tea?" It was crazy how kombucha tea was being sold lately.

"Yes we do, but it's sold out at the moment, I heard somewhere that a singer recommend it and people got really interested and bought it until stores ran out of it" a giggle escaped his lips.

"I think I know who you are talking about" he took off his bucket hat to fix his hair, and put it back quickly. You could see his eyes for a split second and you felt like you have seen those eyes before, they were so big and pretty, like bambi eyes.

"Oh really, who is this famous singer then?" You knew you have read or heard about this guy but you couldn't remember his name.

"Jungkook" there it was when you realized.

"You are Jungkook" he just nodded. "I knew you seemed familiar" you confessed. "Anyway, is there anything else I can help you with?" You asked politely.

"Can I use the microwave?" He was the first person who asked you if they could use the microwave, people often just used it without asking.

"Yeah, of course" you made your way to the counter again and sat in your chair.

You couldn't help but watched him as he prepared the ramen, working there, and at night, was boring as hell so you never missed the opportunity to talk to customers when you had the chance, but you weren't quite sure if you should go and try to have a conversation with him. You didn't want him to think that you were approaching him just because he was famous.

Seeing him preparing ramen made you feel hungry, you also wanted to eat some so you didn't think twice and went to grab a cup of ramen.

He was sited just right besides the microwave so it was impossible to ignore his presence. You saw that he forgot to grab chopsticks so you picked two pairs from a shelve.

"Here" you said as you handed him the chopsticks.

"Thank you" he gently grabbed them, he had taken his bucket hat off so you were able to see him more properly now. "I see you are hungry" he said and you smiled.

"Yeah, I've been staring all night at those cups of ramen and I couldn't hold myself when I saw you preparing it" you said calmly trying to make him feel comfortable around you.

"Should we eat together then?" His question took you by surprise, he was being so sweet considering you were a completely stranger to him.

"I don't think I'm allowed to do this, but yes" you sat on the only chair left, which was besides him, and waited until your ramen was done.

"Would you get in trouble for eating with me?" He sounded concerned.

"Just if my boss finds out, but he is never around and almost no one buys things at this hour, so I don't think he'll know" fuck your boss, you didn't really like him, he was really rude to everyone.

"Well, in case your boss finds out, I can come and tell him that it was all my fault" it was the second time he made you smile.

You were ready to get up when you heard the microwave was done getting the ramen cooked, but Jungkook got up faster and brought it for you.

"Thank you" you said as he sat again, you both opened the chopsticks and started eating, even though he could start eating his ramen sooner he waited until yours was ready.

He obviously wasn't wearing his face mask anymore so you could see his features clearly. He was stunning. "What brought you here so late?" You asked him to start a conversation.

"I was trying to write some lyrics on my apartment but it didn't turn out how I wanted, I also couldn't sleep so I decided to take some fresh air, then when I was walking I saw this store and well, now I'm here" he took another bite of ramen. "Do you work here all night?" He asked you.

"Yeah, until 6am, it's kinda scary going back home alone after work because I have to walk and it's still dark outside when I leave, but anyways i'm here just during the weekend tought, I'm studying at collage so actually this is a part time job for me, I don't spend too much time in here" you could noticed he was really paying attention to you, he stopped eating everytime you talked.

"Can I know what are you studying?" You didn't know if he was really interested or if he was just being nice, but you were so happy now that you could spend some time talking with someone.

"I want to major in audio visuals, my parents weren't happy when I told them what I was going to study, they wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I didn't listen to them, is that a bad thing?" You asked him, you barely knew him and you were already asking him for advice, considering you didn't have close friends maybe you really needed a therapist to talk this things after all.

"I think you did the right thing, it's your life, you should do things that makes you happy" he made emphasis in the you part. "And you will learn from the decisions you make, not from other's" wise words.

"What about you? Are you happy with the life you have right now?" Both of you had already finished eating, so you were ready to listen to him closely.

"I am, I'm not happy everyday but I'm happy with my life so I can't complain, I just sometimes wish I could do things that are normal for most of the people" you completely understood his point, and you felt sad for him, everyone deserved that kind of freedom and you can see he couldn't have it.

"You know, when I saw you preparing the ramen I really wanted to talk to you because that's what I do with most of the people who comes here, but I was afraid you might think I only approached you because you were famous or something like that. So I just want you to know that even though I know your name or your face, it doesn't mean I know who you are, and for me you are just like everyone else, I won't treat you any different just because you are famous, I won't go and tell everyone that you were here or anything like that, I also know I can't take you to do all the things you'd like to do, but one thing I can offer you is an honest friendship, I bet Jungkook from bts is great, but if I'm honest I don't really care about him, I care about the real you and I'd love to get to know you more, I met you just a moment ago but I can see you are a really good person" everything you said was the truth, and he had to know that there was someone out there who cared about him. That's how you were, you cared about others.

"It's the first time someone tells me something like that, I really appreciate it" you would love to say that his words surprise you but they don't, and that's sad.

"I think I should go back to work right now" he nodded. "Oh and you don't have to pay, I invite" and with that you went back to the counter.

He stayed on the chair for a few more seconds doing something but you didn't know what because you could only see his back from there.

He got up later and made his way to the door. "Thank you for make me some company, see you soon" you didn't have time to say goodbye to him because he had already left. Have you done something wrong? You asked yourself.

Time passed and it was time to go back home, your coworker came in time so by 6am you were already out of the store, you didn't start walking though, you couldn't believe who was in front of you.

"Jungkook? What are you doing here?" Was he waiting for you?

"You said it was scary going back home alone, so from now on, you won't be alone anymore" it seems that you actually didn't do anything wrong after all. "I left a note on the table we shared" oh shit, you didn't see it.

"I didn't see it, sorry" you were about to go and look for it but he stopped you.

"It's okay, don't worry. It just said that I'd love to have you as a friend, and since you invite the ramen I hope you can accept my invitation to drink something some day" he seemed shy now, maybe that's why he didn't tell you this in person.

"Yeah, we can definitely go to drink something together, and as friends now" you smiled at him as he bite his lip cutely.

"Should I take you home now? You must be tired"

Yes you definitely were.

"Let's go" you said as you both started to walk next and close to each other.

There was no way you would forget this night.

♡

I hope you enjoyed reading this one

A like or reblog is always appreciated :)

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sugako · 4 years ago

Text

sleepover

pairing: college!kuroo x gn!reader synopsis: you realize your feelings for kuroo after he takes you to a party and you have to look after him warnings: alcohol use, lots of hand holding and some cuddling a/n: uhh did i make the reader a little too much like kenma...probably..this is really mostly just a bunch of fluffy mutual pining and bad writing

you couldn't believe he had dragged you here. well, dragged was a strong word. you had willingly agreed to come to this party because his normal party friends were busy and he thought it would be fun. the loud shitty music, swarm of sweaty bodies, and intermittent yelling was not for you though.

it wasn't all bad. it was kind of fun to watch kuroo in his element. he could chat with almost anyone and he seemed to know most people here. you admired how easily he could weave through the crowd. how at ease he looked in this unfamiliar apartment. you almost wished you could be more like that.

on the other hand, you were getting tired of the people and the noise. about three hours in, you got separated from your human security blanket. a little defeated and not nearly as drunk as everyone around you, you slumped against a corner and waited. and waited. it wasn't like he was hard to miss with his messy bed head that towered above most everyone. still, you hadn't spotted him once in nearly twenty minutes.

you really didn't want to be a drag, but you were tired and drained from all the energy around you.

to 🐔kuroo: hey i think im gonna head out im pretty tired

as soon as you shoved your phone into your back pocket it buzzed.

from 🐔kuroo: wait up meet u by the door!!1!

you typed with one hand as you slipped through the crowd. when you heard his rowdy cackle you knew he wasn't far away.

to 🐔kuroo: you don't have to leave now if you don't wanna im good to go home

from 🐔kuroo: nahh I'm already there anywayy I'm ready to go

you smiled lightly at your screen. while you hadn't been paying attention you feelings of admiration for the man had slowly morphed into infatuation. it crept up on you slowly. you hadn't realized all at once, but it was starting to make more sense now as you stared at the little screen.

"hey!!" he called over the heads of a group blocking the door.

you peeped up and waved, pushing your phone back into a pocket. he grabbed you by the elbow and practically threw you out the door. when you stumbled, he caught your hand and tutted obnoxiously.

"you are not 'good to go' alone. how much did you drink when i lost you?"

heat, not from the alcohol, seeped into your cheeks. you tried to pull your hand out of his iron grip, but it was impossible. not that you actually minded.

"only one," you huffed, "i think you're the one that needs help." you watched his roaming feet as you both shuffled down the street toward the bus stop.

"hmm, nah. i was worried for a bit when i lost you, were you okay?"

his fingers squeezed around yours. "i-uh, yeah, i was fine. i didn't really talk to anyone, but it wasn't bad. i know i'm kinda bad at parties, but did you have a good time?"

kuroo giggled and swung your arm with his as he leaned heavily against the bus station sign. in the middle of the night on this empty street, it felt almost like it could be an intimate moment between the two of you... if he wasn't sauced.

"a great time, only i wish i hadn't accidentally abandoned you like that. i know you didn't really want to go."

"no, no!" you said a little too fast. "well, i didn't mind it, i'm just not used to big crowds like that. or the music." you trailed off. "i had a pretty good time though. maybe except for babysitting you." you joked, lightly nudging him as the bus pulled up.

he kept his hand in yours even as you sat down in the empty space. it seemed like he was processing what you said and answered just a little too late.

"i am not the baby that needs to be babysat, baby."

"you're very drunk, tetsuro."

"maybe so..." he breathed out, leaning heavily against you.

your eyes fluttered from exhaustion, alcohol, and the heavy heating pack slumped against you. two stops later the bus had arrived at his place, but his hand was firmly laced with yours.

kuroo had been watching you closely as your eyes drooped. he looked down at where your warm hands were intertwined with his and he couldn't help the giddy feeling that courses through his body. maybe you were just being nice because he was drunk, he thought. still, it felt nice to just exist with you like this.

"hey," he jostled you a little rougher than intended. you startled out of your half sleep. "wanna spend the night?"

"mhmm..." you murmured, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as he dragged you off the bus. around the corner you stopped at a tiny convenience store for a few overnight toiletries like toothpaste and deodorant. it wasn’t the first time you had spent the night, but you were feeling a little flustered under his gaze tonight.

when his hand left yours, you felt colder and a little incomplete.

you were still half asleep, but you listened as best you could as kuroo blathered on about his favorite tea. when you made your way up to the counter, he dumped a pile of snacks along with your things.

as he was attempting to slur out something along the lines of an argument for him to pay, you were already handing the sleepy cashier your cash. thanking the worker, you moved with him to the exit and he slipped his hand back into yours.

you couldn't help the dumb smile plastered on your face even as he sloppily keyed into his place. this time it didn't feel so bad when his hand left yours. in a flash, he had thrown out some sweatpants and an old t-shirt for you to wear to bed.

you quickly changed and headed for the couch where kuroo was already sprawled out, rifling through the snacks.

“hey, movie?” he asked, glancing over at you as you settled in beside him. when your thighs brushed against one another neither of you made and move to part. you nodded and hummed, a little less tired now. while he clicked through dozens of titles, you reached for a small bag of chips on the low coffee table. “got those for you.” he mumbled before you could ask if you could have them. “you like those right?”

“yeah...uh, yeah, i do.” you bit the inside of your cheek.

“this look good?”

you looked up at the title card of some film you had heard good reviews on. truly, it didn’t really matter to you either way. “yeah, play it.”

only about ten minutes in your eyes were getting heavy again. when your head knocked into something sturdy and warm you didn’t even stir.

kuroo sat back, trying to be as steady as he could as he leaned back on the couch, guiding you to lie on his chest. he knew if you kept your head cocked against his shoulder like it had been you would wake up with a cramp. although his knees were starting to get numb from the awkward half-laying, half-sitting position he was in, he didn’t dare to move.

after a particularly loud noise from the movie, you stirred. you let out a small grunt as you tried to sit up. kuroo’s eyes were closed beneath you, but you weren’t convinced he was asleep. his arms were still wound tightly around your shoulders.

“kuroo?” you choked out hoarsely. his eyes blinked open and he flushed under your stare. “what are you doing?”

“you fell asleep.” he muttered, sheepishly. you didn’t say anything back, but you didn’t make a move and neither did he. “hey, what was your first impression of me?”

you chuckled, clearing the sleep from your voice. “you looked really cool and mysterious, but then you opened your mouth and i realized that you’re a dork.” he scoffed and ran his fingers soothingly up and down your back.

“i can be cool.” he pouted.

“you are cool,” you rolled your eyes, “you’re just also kinda a dork. you have a good balance.” you brought your hands up to more comfortable rest around his shoulders and shifted so your legs were on the couch. “what did you think about me at first?”

“that you’re smart and quiet. you looked like you knew me. i also thought you looked really good in that sweater.”

you snorted, remembering the awfully cold night you had met kuroo through some mutual friends when the group of you went out to a bar. it had been so frigid you hadn’t bothered to dress nice even though you were going out, you put on the fuzziest, warmest sweater you owned.

“hey.” he whispered.

“yeah?”

“do you like me?”

your heart was pounding so hard you knew he had to be able to feel it against his chest. “are you still drunk?”

“only a little.” he answered honestly. “you let me hold your hand for a long time earlier and you seem pretty comfortable right now.”

glad that you were tucked below his chin, you couldn’t help it that your face was heating up. “yeah, yeah i think i do like you.”

“cool, you weren’t really trying to hide it.” you rolled your eyes at the smirk in his tone. your heart was still reverberating behind your ribcage. “oh, yeah, i like you too.”

he groaned like an old man as he shifted under you to lay his legs out flat on the couch.

“did you...did you plan this?”

“hmm, maybe.” he mused. “when you didn’t pull your hand away and dozed off on me on the bus i knew that i could tell you. didn’t expect you to snuggle up on me so fast though, buy me something to drink first.”

finally, you completely relaxed into his hold. with your head nearly buried into his neck now you could faintly smell his woody soap. he tapped little rhythms into your shoulder blades with his fingertips, drawing small circles with his thumbs.

“i bought you tea and junk food.”

he laughed quietly, not wanting to shake you too much. “this is a pretty good sleepover, huh?”

#kuroo x reader #kuro x reader #hq x reader

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shespeaksinsongs · 4 years ago

Text

You Are My New Fear | Letters To My Mom

TW: MOMMY ISSUES, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, AND ANXIETY.

Me in my game room at about five years old.

I wish somebody would have told me that that smile I used to slather onto my face so effortlessly would soon become something I forced. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference, but it's best to be prepared in any case.

"What's your biggest fear?" My elementary best friend asked, kicking her feet giddily under the table. We were still too little to reach the floor.

"Drowning." I'd say, with a panicked look on my face, growing pale at the mere thought of dying that way.

"What are you most afraid of, hija?" My dad asked on our regular morning car rides to school.

"Drowning." I'd say, without even thinking twice. The answer was almost prepared, seeing as how casually it rolled off my tongue.

"What's your biggest fear?" My friend asked in the comfort of her room, watching as I shifted uncomfortably in my spot on her bed.

"Becoming my mother." I'd say wishing that drowning was the most of my worries.

I don't know when my default answer of drowning to death switched to the terrifying idea that I would, one day, become my mother. Still, somewhere along the lines, those little moments that I would suck up to my mom and gift her pretty pictures I spent hours working on and picking daisies from my backyard for her turned into scheduling my crying for nighttime when everyone was asleep.

Slowly but surely, I became uneasy about the idea of marriage, fearing that I'd only ruin it and become a wife like my mother. The idea of having children scared me to the point where I felt I would rather sacrifice my own happiness so that my children wouldn't have to live to see the day I turn into my mom.

Because in my eyes, my mom is a monster. She's not the kind of monster that has big, sharp teeth and scary yellow eyes, and a menacing growl. She's the kind of monster that you would never suspect. She's the bloody hand, but you were the accomplice. She was the screwdriver, but you were the loose screw. Sure, she hurt you, but you let yourself be hurt by her - so really, whose fault was it?

My mom is the kind of monster that uses your vulnerability against you in the worst way possible.

"I'm just not feeling good right now. I feel like I'm dying, and I feel tired all the time." My sixth-grade self, awkwardly positioned in the passenger's seat, turning my head away from my mom.

"Well, you know we care about you." My mom said, stoic in her demeanor and ultimately still in how she held her body up.

It was a day I'll never forget. She picked at her fingernails and anxiously tapped the gas pedal, waiting for me to be done talking about my emotions so she could drive back "home."

Warm tears stung my eyes, forcing their way down my face in slow streams. "You don't get it, I-" I stopped, knowing it wasn't worth it to try to make my mom understand feelings she'd been adamant didn't exist.

"Ay, don't be so dramatic." My mom said, waving her hand up to dismiss me and my silly ideas. She was right. I wasn't depressed or anxious, and I definitely didn't look for any excuse possible to threaten suicide against myself. My mom said so.

I don't know why I kept running back to her in times of need. Maybe it was my dream version of her that I relied on to justify my ever-growing love for her. Feasibly, it was the person I wanted her to be. And perhaps, just perhaps, my expectations of her drove me to the point where I'd convinced myself my mother was the person I saw when I closed my eyes at night.

I remember telling her things, spreading rumors I'd heard about people in the family, hoping that it would make us closer. The things I did just to make her happy...

"Mom, I'm trying my best!" I cried on the floor, cleaning up the mess my new puppy had made. She'd pooped and peed all over the kitchen. I was exhausted, previously knocked out in my bed, when my mom called me downstairs, screaming for me to get my ass down there.

"No, you're not! You never try! You're useless! I should've never had you!" My mom yelled from the bottom of her heart (or lack thereof).

Tears welled in my eyes for the millionth time because of my mother. This wasn't the first time she'd wished me dead, and it sure wouldn't be the last time. "Mommy, please just leave me alone and let me clean up." I begged, letting broken sobs come out of my mouth. I wanted to hurt her, and I wanted to hurt her as bad as she hurt me.

My mom refused to leave, yelling at me, watching as I piteously scraped my dog's contents off the wall.

It's sad that the only good memories I have of my mom are those I couldn't participate in. Instead, I have stories of her youth and how caring of a mother she used to be when I was a baby - conveniently so far back that I can't remember it. It pains me more knowing how she was before she had me, her firstborn. If she were this way her whole life, would I take it so personally?

Am I dramatic for wishing I had a mother who could hug me back when I hugged her? Am I a selfish and pathetic bitch for feeling envy when I see how my friends' moms act with them? Why can't my mom love me the way she loves her? Why does my mom have more pictures of her first niece than she does of me? What did I do to her?

"Mommy, mommy! Look!" I said, running up to my mother, holding my report card in the air like a shiny new toy - all A's.

"Nice job, Fio. I'm so proud of you. You're doing great. Keep it up." My mom said softly, pulling me into a warm hug. Somehow, that was all I needed - that's all I wanted. It really is a shame that that memory is fake.

I have plenty of other fake memories that I store in my head, letting the (also fake) backstories take over my mind when I go to sleep. For one of them, I was romping around on an old swing set, one that made little squeaky noises whenever I swung too high.

Somehow, I lose control of the swing, and my mom comes rushing up to me, worried and begging for me to tell her how she could help. I don't know when or how she got there (my dad was usually the one to take me to the park), but what I do know is she's exactly who I needed there at that moment.

So many real memories I have of me needing my mother most, waiting for the day she would actually turn up in one of them. She was always the first to pick me up in school lines. She was always at my open houses. She attended every grade promotion I had. But she was never there. It was all a facade. She'd said so herself that she craved being the all-star mom, the one who'd win several gold medals if there were award ceremonies for that sort of thing.

Her perfectionism is what makes her corrupt. She has spent my entire life telling me what to do, how to do it, scolding me for not doing it the way she imagined me doing it in her head.

She refused to seek help when that's all I wanted her to do.

"What do you want for your birthday, hija?" My dad asked, glancing at me while keeping his eyes fixed on the road, humming along to a Christmas carol playing on the radio.

"Honestly, dad?" I asked, only twelve years old, my green eyes twinkling in hope.

"Whatever your heart desires." My dad said in a goofy voice, making me smile.

"I want Mom to get help." I said sadly, hoping my dad would agree and push the idea upon my mom.

My mother went to therapy for four months. My dad had to pay her every session for her to go. In my mom's life, money has never been an obstacle. Her father was a middle-high class socialite in Venezuela who worked in engineering and oil companies. Her mother, who passed away of Leukemia when she was twelve, spoiled her rotten until her very last breath.

Eventually, I became mentally sick to the core. Writing and singing, my two favorite things in the world, became hobbies, and life had lost its zesty twang. Little things like music and the people I passed on the street that waved "hello" at me became nuisances. My mom "gave up" her therapy so I could get help.

I still wonder if she did it for herself or for me.

A few times a year, I get asked what my biggest fear is. Sometimes it comes up in conversation. Other times I create the question, not thinking about the consequences if people answer with "Spiders, yours?"

Each time I get asked, I take a deep breath and lie. "The dark." I say now, the idea of death by sea sounding more of tranquility than a travesty.

I look back at the old pictures I have of myself, a smiley and shy little girl who was afraid of nothing and everything at the same time. To her, I ask, "When you have nothing to lose, why be afraid?"

Me, with my baby doll at age three. I loved taking care of her. I used to take her everywhere with me.

#open letter #dear mom hlbutterfly #hlbutterflyoriginal

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anettrolikova · 4 years ago

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Studying art after computer science.

hacking and painting were very different kinds of work-- that hacking was cold, precise, and methodical, and that painting was the frenzied expression of some primal urge.

What hackers and painters have in common is that they're both makers. Along with composers, architects, and writers, what hackers and painters are trying to do is make good things. They're not doing research per se, though if in the course of trying to make good things they discover some new technique, so much the better.

Artists are improving by every artwork they make. You are able to spot the improvement in every artwork they make. They learn something in every piece they make and reproduce it in their next art piece.

Perhaps one day "computer science" will, like Yugoslavia, get broken up into its component parts. That might be a good thing. Especially if it meant independence for my native land, hacking.

Bundling all these different types of work together in one department may be convenient administratively, but it's confusing intellectually. That's the other reason I don't like the name "computer science." Arguably the people in the middle are doing something like an experimental science. But the people at either end, the hackers and the mathematicians, are not actually doing science.

In the best case, the papers are just a formality. Hackers write cool software, and then write a paper about it, and the paper becomes a proxy for the achievement represented by the software.

hackers just have to resign themselves to having a large random component in their reputations. In this they are no different from other makers. In fact, they're lucky by comparison. The influence of fashion is not nearly so great in hacking as it is in painting.

There are worse things than having people misunderstand your work. A worse danger is that you will yourself misunderstand your work. Related fields are where you go looking for ideas. If you find yourself in the computer science department, there is a natural temptation to believe, for example, that hacking is the applied version of what theoretical computer science is the theory of.

Realizing this has real implications for software design. It means that a programming language should, above all, be malleable. A programming language is for thinking of programs, not for expressing programs you've already thought of. It should be a pencil, not a pen. Static typing would be a fine idea if people actually did write programs the way they taught me to in college. But that's not how any of the hackers I know write programs. We need a language that lets us scribble and smudge and smear, not a language where you have to sit with a teacup of types balanced on your knee and make polite conversation with a strict old aunt of a compiler.

Only a small percentage of hackers can actually design software, and it's hard for the people running a company to pick these out. So instead of entrusting the future of the software to one brilliant hacker, most companies set things up so that it is designed by committee, and the hackers merely implement the design.

If you can figure out a way to get in a design war with a company big enough that its software is designed by product managers, they'll never be able to keep up with you. These opportunities are not easy to find, though. It's hard to engage a big company in a design war, just as it's hard to engage an opponent inside a castle in hand to hand combat. It would be pretty easy to write a better word processor than Microsoft Word, for example, but Microsoft, within the castle of their operating system monopoly, probably wouldn't even notice if you did.

in the case of software, is a concept known to nearly all makers: the day job. This phrase began with musicians, who perform at night. More generally, it means that you have one kind of work you do for money, and another for love.

for hackers to have day jobs, and work on beautiful software on the side, I'm not proposing this as a new idea. This is what open-source hacking is all about.

hackers are makers rather than scientists, the right place to look for metaphors is not in the sciences, but among other kinds of makers. What else can painting teach us about hacking?

For a painter, a museum is a reference library of techniques. For hundreds of years it has been part of the traditional education of painters to copy the works of the great masters, because copying forces you to look closely at the way a painting is made.

Writers do this too. Benjamin Franklin learned to write by summarizing the points in the essays of Addison and Steele and then trying to reproduce them. Raymond Chandler did the same thing with detective stories.

Hackers, likewise, can learn to program by looking at good programs-- not just at what they do, but the source code too. One of the less publicized benefits of the open-source movement is that it has made it easier to learn to program

paintings are created by gradual refinement. Paintings usually begin with a sketch. Gradually the details get filled in. But it is not merely a process of filling in.

It's unrealistic to expect that the specifications for a program will be perfect. You're better off if you admit this up front, and write programs in a way that allows specifications to change on the fly.

Great software, likewise, requires a fanatical devotion to beauty. If you look inside good software, you find that parts no one is ever supposed to see are beautiful too.

If a hacker were a mere implementor, turning a spec into code, then he could just work his way through it from one end to the other like someone digging a ditch. But if the hacker is a creator, we have to take inspiration into account.

Programs should be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.

#hackers #painter #art #code #programming #coding #paul graham #similarities #art to code #software engineer #scientists #computer science

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chosenkeepersworld · 4 years ago

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The Curses We Inherit- Chapter 8

Original Work

Date Posted: July 14, 2021 (Tumblr)

Word count: 1, 097 words

A/N: Work is unbeta'd but I do hope you'll still enjoy reading it. Comments are always appreciated! And if you can't wait to read what happens next, this story is also up on Wattpad (under the username ChosenKeeper0971) but with way more chapters, I appreciate your support there too!

Thank you so much, I hope everyone is having an awesome day and happy reading :)

Masterlist / Part 7

Danika sunk into her seat apprehensively turning her head back and forth as Krysa and Jac argued.

"Are you insane? We're more likely to get lost, we should stick to the main road"

"The main road takes way too long" Jac exclaimed "Going off road would get us there faster because there are less people and honestly the view would be way better"

Jac and Krysa had taken up the driver seat and passenger seat respectively but it did not take long for both girls to start arguing on what path to take.

"The main road is safer" Krysa argued

"We're on a spontaneous trip, we might as well take a spontaneous path" Jac shot back

Krys sighed, shaking her head. She glanced at Danika, who still felt awkward, sitting uncomfortably in the back. The curly blonde's face softened. "We're sorry about the arguing, it happens a lot when we travel together."

"It's true, unfortunately" Jac said, glancing back through the rearview mirror "We'll tone it down, I promise and I'm sorry" she did sound contrite.

The tension in Danika's body slowly left, she gave a small smile "Thanks. So which road are we taking?" she asked leaning forward between the two seats.

Jac and Krysa shared a look before Krysa reached back to hand Danika their map.

"Up to you, girl," Jac said, settling into her seat.

She stared at them quizzically "You guys still use maps?"

"It's Krysa's preference" Jac giggled "She's not too good with technology"

"I'm old fashioned" Krysa laughed "Which is it Dan?"

"Jac" Dan said slowly "How well do you know the spontaneous road?"

Their eyes met in the rearview, Jacqueline grinned widely "I am so glad you asked"

It turns out Jacqueline had not memorized the off-roads as well as Danika thought, but Jac knew it well enough not to take any wrong turns. Krysanthe, despite trusting Jacqueline's sense of direction, was still slightly apprehensive about the road itself.

So the driver at least has some idea on where they were going, the road may not be completely safe but Jacqueline was right about the view. The road they took had a wonderful view of the surrounding nature, in the distance Danika could see the patches of fields and meadows. The road they were on was in a slightly higher area so they could see more small towns in the lower plains.

"Despite how it looks, the island is pretty big" Krysanthe explained, her eyes lighting up "A lot of families have been living on this island for centuries, the original founders started with one kingdom, but the people eventually revolted against the royal family"

"How come?"

"According to the history books, the people were treated horribly, citizens from other kingdoms were treated better and the king at the time was practically a man-child"

"What about the other explanation?" Jac chimed in

Krysa rolled her eyes "I find the alternative absolutely ridiculous" she said "A bedtime story for children"

Danika straightened in her seat "I would like to hear this ridiculous alternative to history" it was probably just a coincidence, right? There was no way it was the same story.

"A witch supposedly cursed the royal family, causing family members to die. Grief and sorrow was constant within the castle, eventually the royal family became negligent, they stopped caring about their people and the more responsible and experienced heirs died off leaving the youngest one to take over so..." Krysa trailed off, leaving Danika to piece together what most likely happened. "I personally don't believe in any of that"

Jacqueline shot a glance at her "What about all that stuff that happened to you as a kid?"

"I was child, I probably just imagined all of it" Krysa replied, waving her hand dismissively

"You mean that's what Rhian told you"

Danika scooted closer, sticking her head between the two seats "Who's Rhian?"

"I'll tell you if you sit properly," Kyrsa said pointedly.

The heiress did as she was told then smiled innocently.

Kyrsanthe rolled her eyes, smiling but complied "Rhian is the closest person I would consider to be my parent. The first few years of my childhood wasn't what one would consider ideal but when Rhian took me in I just knew things would get better. I owe her a lot" Krysa mused "Ironic, considering a lot of what I did yesterday and this morning feels like I've taken advantage of her trust"

"I think you're being too hard on yourself, besides when was the last time you did something on a whim? In university? Three years ago with that guy-"

"We are not going to talk about him!" Danika flinched at the tone of Krysanthe's voice, she never thought the small woman would be capable of producing it. In the short time that the youngest O'Brien knew her Krysa had been professional, a touch too much in Danika's opinion, and controlled but hospitable and kind. Whoever this guy was must really hit a sore spot.

The car fell silent after Krysa's outburst, Jacqueline was uncharacteristically silent, Krysa had worn her sunglasses and put on earphones while Danika continued staring out into their surroundings, distracting herself with the beautiful yet distant sights.

******************

A gas station out in the backroads was not something Danika had expected to find. Yet here they were at-Danika raised her head to read the sign again Stone's Stop.

Jacqueline had claimed that this was the best place to rest up before going on with their trip despite Krysa's look of incredulity. Danika had a few reservations about this place, mainly because the fact that it's in the middle of nowhere and is surrounded by a lot of trees making it look way more sinister than Jac claims. But to be fair, the place was clean and had a decent looking convenience store.

There was a tall and burly man coming out from another building beside the convenience store, wiping his hands on a cloth.

Jacqueline parked the truck beside one of the fuel pumps, the girls got out of the car and Jac grinned as she came forward while the other two lingered behind.

Danika didn't hear what Jacqueline or the man were saying but she could see that they were glad to see each other, both girls began to slowly relax seeing the stranger grin and laugh while talking to their friend.

"I take it you don't know him" the heiress whispered.

Kyrsa shook her head "Jac likes to roam, which usually results into some unusual friendships" she smiled suddenly "It's a lovely of hers, being able to make friends wherever you go"

"Listen I'm sorry for snapping earlier. That topic is particularly-" Krysa paused "difficult to talk about"

"You know it's okay if you don't want to talk about something that you aren't comfortable with" Danika said as she squeezed Krysa's arm "But Jac deserves the apology, not really me"

Krysa squeezed Danika back.

Jac walked back to them still smiling "Alrighty ladies get whatever you need from the store. I'll fill her up then we'll get going"

"I'll catch up," Krysa told Danika.

Danika grinned as the florist turned to speak with their friend then to make her way to the convenience store. Taglist: @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @woodhousejay @dustylovelyrun

#writeblr #original story #original writing #creative writing #writing wip #unbeta'd #The Curses We Inherit #The Curses We Inherit Ch 8

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apotatomashedbybts · 3 years ago

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(hey it NOEL!! I love your new layout, it's so pretty ! 🥺❤ i think tumblr ate both my asks i sent to you a couple days ago, it's done that before, thank goodness i saved one of them:)

hi, hello, good morning and good night!! it's NOEL

i'm so happy you remember to write those moments of inspiration down!!! i do for the most part, but they seem to come at the least convenient moments in time, like while i'm driving, or while i'm in the shower 😂

OMG the whole making a banner before completing a fic... I AM SO GUILTY OF THIS. there's a series i've been meaning to write since september, but never got to it. i have the banner made...that should count for something, right???

i need to take things slow. if anything i pressure myself to get things done. as a content creator i feel as though i always have to release something. but as of now i have soooooo many ideas, that i don't even know where to start! i'm so excited !!! one of them is an au i absolutely love and want to explore

...oh that is awkward 😅 i searched the anime up online, and it only gave the english name so i assumed the other was a different one.

THIS. i find writing the beginning of a fic the hardest as well. it sets the tone and pace of the entire piece, so getting it down to how you envision it to be is crucial. the first line is difficult because, depending on the story, it may be best to capture the audience's attention with either, dialogue, an action, a thought or any combination of those.

ughhhh the whole writing and deleting cycle is just the worst!!! that was and still me. there was a project i was working on in november and planned to release by the end of the month, but everything and anything i wrote felt icky. but then i read something that made it click and i plan to write the fic later this month/next month. here's a tip for the beginning for that hobi fic ( but only use it if it helps, okay?? this is only a suggestion):

perhaps the reason you can't get the fic in motion is because you are starting the story at the wrong spot or scene. sometimes it's best to begin a few moments earlier, later, or a different place & moment entirely.

a personal example. the original setting of a wip - mc was already at school and in the middle of a crisis. the issue was that i found myself telling the story rather then showing the story. as a result it was hard for me to move forward and have the readers sympathize with the character without showing more of their backstory, personality and intentions. - so instead i plan to begin the scene before mc is at school, where they're at home, and through their interactions with other people there, i'll reveal all the things i wanted without telling it through narration, and showing it with their behavior instead. bc actions speak louder than words.

i hope that helps you to get those creative juices flowing! 💜

Heyyy! I am so so sorry that you had to send these asks again.. I did receive those and I was meaning to write back but my mood was kind of under the weather (it happens often). So I was kind of pushing back answering hours after hours... I am sorry again! Pwease forgive me

(༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

It's evening here now so GOOD EVENING! I just woke up from a good nap! And the first thing I saw was your asks! Most of my ideas or certain dialogues come to me during shower too! So I make sure to repeat them until I get them down on something. Sometimes I forget those as soon as I cross the door to get out lol.

Wow! You can drive!!! I can't even ride a bicycle (´ . .̫ . `)

Of course! Making the banner means you are definitely going to write it (someday). I do hope you get to write that fic though, after you complete making gift for this secret santa event!

As a content creator you DON'T HAVE to always post something! You are doing it out of love. And if you are doing it forcibly it'll lack that happiness! Always. Do. It. For. Yourself! I post whenever I feel like it. That's why I have so little contents here haha.

Do the one that you are most excited about! It'll turn out great! I'll wait patiently to read it🫂

Ahhh! Thank you so much!! That is such a valuable advice you gave me! I'll definitely try it! I have to google about telling and showing though bcs I am dumbbbbb!

#bangtansecretsanta #noel 🎇#i am so sorry 😞#potato's ask box

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porkchop-ao3 · 7 years ago

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cop rick/fem!reader nsfw role-play, ya know what I'm sayin'???

I hope you like it :) thanks for the request!

It was late, and I was driving through the deader-than-usual streets of the Citadel on my way home. Of course, the streets were never completely dead, not even at three in the morning after my nightshift at the 24/7 convenience store; which sold mostly booze at this time of night. I wasn’t particularly tired, having spent the entire day sleeping like I always did before a night shift, I was ready to get home and wait up for Rick, who had been on duty tonight. He wouldn’t get off until six.

I turned down a quiet residential street, not too far from my home, and that’s when flashing blue lights caught my eye in my mirrors. It was the goddamn police, and with a short blast of the siren I was being told to pull over. I checked my speed; I hadn’t been speeding, and I was always a careful driver, I had nothing to hide. So I pulled up at the nearest convenient space, and waited as the officer got out of his own car and approached mine. I rolled down my window, expecting to see a grouchy old Rick, bored and wanting to fuck with someone. Instead, I laughed in delight, grinning up at my Rick.

“Oh, it’s you! Hi baby, I was just-”

“You didn’t use your turn signals back there.” He interrupted me, leaning both hands on the roof of my car as he bent down to peer at me through the window. His expression was unreadable, but he looked me up and down slowly.

“Didn’t I?” I blinked at him, confused. “I was sure I did, I always do.” I wracked my brains, I couldn’t specifically remember using them, but it was second nature, unconscious even.

“You, uh, y-you wanna step out the car for me, sweet- sweetheart.” He asked, pushing away from the car and taking a step back. I stared at him for a while, trying to figure out if I’d got the whole thing wrong and this actually wasn’t my Rick. I was so sure, though… after spending so much time with him I’d picked up on his mannerisms, the subtle differences in his appearance that set him aside from every other Rick on the Citadel. They were all there, it was most definitely him.

“Okay.” I said quietly, pushing the door open and climbing out, he didn’t back away, and I had to move impossibly close to him in order to close the door behind me. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder and turned me around, then slid that same hand down my spine, brushing over my backside very lightly.

“I’m gonna have to s-search you. It’s just proc-pr-procedure. Arms out to the side.” He said, and I swear I could hear a grin in his voice now that I had my back to him.

“Yes, officer.” I replied, spreading my arms and legs out for him. His hands were on me, sliding down my sides, lingering on my hips and my backside. It was most definitely a less than professional search, especially when he slide both hands into the back pockets of my pants, squeezing roughly. He exhaled audibly, stepping closer and pressing his chest into my back.

“Sh-should be arresting you for this ass; it’s gotta be illegal.” He whispered, and I laughed quietly, turning my head to look at him. His eyes were hooded and lustful, and I finally realised what this was about.

“Long night, officer?” I purred, pressing my backside against him. He pulled his hands out of my pockets and pushed his groin against me, it was then I realised that he was hard; not even just getting there, but fully hard. Trailing his hands around to my front, he ghosted them over my stomach and over my chest very lightly. It almost tickled.

“Very.” He simply said, suddenly crouching and sliding his hands down each of my legs, bringing them back upwards between my thighs. He rubbed the spots right on the inner parts of my thighs, as close to my core as possible without actually touching. A shaky breath escaped me, and he moved around to my front, still crouching on the ground. I looked down at him as he moved one hand up to cup my crotch over my pants, fingers stroking back and forth with barely any pressure, enough to make me buck into his touch. Warmth flooded me from the waist down, my heart rate skyrocketing.

“Oh God.” I breathed, glancing around the empty street.

Rick broke his stoic character, humming happily and licking his lips. “I’ve been thinking about you all-all night baby. When I saw your car I could-couldn’t resist. Couldn’t wait till after my shift.” He told me, unbuttoning my pants with quick hands. I flung my hands down to stop him, my eyes scanning the area once again.

“Wait, can we… can we at least get in my car or find an alley or something?” I asked, and Rick chuckled, peering up at me.

“Depends, are you gonna ma-make a break for it as soon as I let my guard down? I-I-I still need to write you up for that little indiscretion back there. The law’s the law.” He asked, though he had a playfulness in his eye.

“No, officer. I’ll pay my dues.” I assured him. He reached a hand behind him, pulling out his cuffs and clamping them over my wrists before I had the chance to say anything, my lips parted in surprise, and he held onto the chain between the cuffs as he stood, guiding me along with it. He led us away from the cars and down the street, there was a secluded little spot down a side street lined with garages, a singular streetlight lit up the entrance, but down near the end was bathed in darkness. He took us far enough so that there was just enough light to see what we were doing, and he pinned me up against the wall.

“Maybe I need to do a cavity search, huh?” He asked, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the cliche. He didn’t even crack a smile, so I quickly collected myself.

“Um, if you think that’s necessary, sir.” I nodded, and he seemed to like the name I’d given him. He leaned in and kissed me, his tongue pushing past my lips, barely giving me enough time to prepare myself. His kiss was starved; needy and full of want. I moaned quietly, my bound hands moving up to grab hold of his tie. He finished what he’d started out on the street, unfastening my pants and sliding a hand inside. He slid his fingers over my slit, dipping between the folds ever so slightly and coating them in my moisture. He rolled my clit under his index and middle finger a few times before pushing a single digit inside me. He wriggled it around, breaking the kiss to look at me as he did.

“You don’t seem to be sm-smuggling anything up here, but you sure are wet. Breaking the law get- gets you off, does it?” He murmured in a dirty tone, leaning in close, barely giving me space to breathe. Not that I minded.

“Maybe it’s the getting caught that does it.” I said on an exhale, canting my hips towards him as he angled his fingers forwards and brushed over my sweet spot.

“Mmm.” He simply hummed in approval, adding a second finger and thrusting them. He brought his thumb to my clit, rubbing it quickly from side to side.

“Ohhh, mm, fuck.” I sighed, raising up onto my tiptoes and arching my back, pressing ever closer to him. I could hear slick sounds rising from between us, and it was embarrassing how wet this was making me.

“Unbutton that shirt for me, le-let me make sure you aren’t hiding anything under there.” He commanded, and I brought my shaky hands to my own chest, doing what I was told. “Arms up.” He added, and I was as obedient as ever. Rick peppered kisses over my chest, biting and sucking on the exposed parts of my breasts. Eventually he pushed my bra upwards, mouthing my nipples one by one. He swiped his tongue in circles around them, before gently nibbling with his teeth. I shuddered and suppressed a moan that managed to surface as a pathetic squeak.

He moved down my body, lips trailing sweet kisses, his tongue darting out and painting a wet stripe down my stomach as he dropped to his knees in front of me. I was panting heavily at this point, and it only got heavier when he pulled my pants and underwear down completely. Without a word his mouth met my core, those two fingers still buried inside me. His tongue played over my engorged clitoris, applying just the right amount of pressure he knew I liked, flicking it back and forth. His eyes closed in concentration, his fingers giving direct stimulation to my g-spot, working with his tongue to bring me to the brink of orgasm.

It was fast and hit me like a bullet, there was little to no warning before I was coming. My legs shook and I whimpered, rolling my head back against the wall, hands flying down to Rick’s head with a clink of chain. He moaned against me when I pushed his face harder between my legs involuntarily, only letting up the pressure when the sensitivity got too much, and I was flinching away from the assault of his tongue.

“Mmm, that’s it baby. Y-you like that? Didn’t ta-take long, did it?” He chuckled, rising to his feet. I caught my breath, staring at him with a look of need in my eyes. “You know, y-you’ve been real good for me. Maybe we can forget about your little mistake tonight. Wouldn’t that be n-nice?”

“Yes, officer. I’m a good driver, I’ve learned my lesson.” I nodded frantically, bringing my arms down to wrap around his neck, my bound wrists hanging between his shoulder blades.

“Not quite. Y-you gotta keep being a good girl f-for a lit-little while longer.” He said softly, and he reached down to unbutton his pants. He pushed them down around his ankles, exposing his leaking, flushed erection. He was desperately hard, his neglected cock jumping as he pushed his hips forward, rubbing it along my wet slit. He stuttered out incoherent words, rocking against me.

He picked me up suddenly, pinning me against the wall and prompting me to wrap my legs around him. He waited no more time before giving into his desperation and sinking into me. His shoulders hunched and he took a moment to steady himself, breaths coming out shaky and frantic. I could tell just how worked up he was, and I felt my own muscles clench involuntarily around his length in need. He cursed, lifting his head up to look at me.

“Y-you’re so perfect. So fuckin’ good babe-baby.” He told me, then began to move. He thrust into me nice and quick, no warm up needed. I gasped and clutched onto the back of his shirt for dear life, my pussy throbbing and tingling instantly with being filled so perfectly.

Rick was unrelenting yet consistently gentle, and he took the time to press kisses against my neck, sucking and nibbling here and there, whispering words of encouragement to me as he fucked me. Rick had always been a generous lover, making sure that I was enjoying myself just as much as he was regardless of the situation. He angled his hips in such a way that his pubic bone ground into my clit with his motion, and it wasn’t long before I was clenching around him, anticipating a second release.

“Cum for me, beau-beautiful, I wanna f-fe-feel it.” He grunted, picking up the pace. I bounced between him and the wall, my whole body hot and throbbing from the friction that met almost every part of me. My moans grew louder, and in that moment I couldn’t care less that we were out in public and any old Rick or Morty could walk by and hear us. His cock felt too good inside me, curving upward slightly to stimulate my g-spot so I was reduced to a shaking mess of pure, hot pleasure.

“Oh God, Rick I love- I love you.” I called out, my thighs squeezing his hips as he pushed me over the edge, and I pulsed around him through my second orgasm. A strangled groan was torn from him, and I could feel him spilling inside me. He fucked me through our orgasms, gently slowing until he stopped his thrusts completely. He kissed me, it was hungry and it stole my breath. He didn’t stop even when he pulled out of me and lowered me to the ground, bringing his hands up to cup my face.

We were both still breathless when he pulled away, his hooded eyes bored into mine and he chuckled quietly, stroking his thumbs lovingly over my cheeks. He pressed a few more single kisses over my face; the tip of my nose, the corner of my mouth, the curve of my jaw. I closed my eyes and soaked it up, I was a complete junkie for moments of affection from Rick.

“Am- am I still in trouble?” I asked, and he laughed again, pulling back from me. He shook his head and reached for my arms, lifting them up and away from around his neck. He bent down and rummaged in his discarded pant pockets for a key, unlocking the cuffs and rubbing my wrists soothingly, planting a kiss on each one.

“You never re-really were. You did nothing wrong.” He told me with a smirk as he redressed himself. I did the same, regardless of the bodily fluids dripping down my thighs; it wasn’t like I had anything to clean myself up with out here.

“I didn’t think so. I know I’m a good driver.” I smirked back. He leaned in and gave me another peck on the lips once we were both decent, and groaned in disappointment when he pulled back.

“I should probably get back to doing my j-job.” He whispered, and I nodded my head.

“Probably.” I agreed, stroking a hand over his chest. “But if you ever catch me, say, speeding, I would be quite happy for you to pull me over again.” I smiled cheekily.

“Of course. Part of my job is keep-keeping the roads safe. Can’t have y-you jeopardising that.” He smirked, taking my hand and leading us back down the alley and towards our cars. He gave me one last tender kiss, before opening my car door for me. Ever the gentleman. “I’ll see you at home.” He told me once I was settled in, tapping on the roof of the car.

“Looking forward to it.” I smiled, before starting up the car and pulling off.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez x reader #cop rick #fanfiction

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