#I'm not angry at you Anon

[johannestevans]

Hi, as an intersex trans masc person I was just wondering if I could ask/clarify a couple things about your posts about being referred to as "afabs"

This is entirely out of a desire to better understand other perspectives so I'm sorry if its a bother, it isn't intended that way

Is it that you generally dislike being referred to as afab because it references a gender that is not your identity, or is it specifically it being used as a noun that causes the issue?

If it is the noun issue, could I ask if you can elaborate on why?

I was under the impression that afab/amab were useful and accepted ways to refer to someone's physical sex at birth, which is what is relevant in discussion about pregnancy etc. Have I misinterpreted something here?

(I'm also autistic so idk if I've missed some tone issue or sarcasm or implication here, I'm just trying to understand better so I don't offend others)

I hope you're doing well and thanks for your time x

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "PHYSICAL SEX".

And even if there were, right?

Calling me an "AFAB", the implication is meant to be that BECAUSE I was assigned female at birth and had ~female parts~, that means I must have ~female parts~ now, as if these things don't change with time and hormones and surgery, as if because I was erroneously described as female, I am the same physically as I was as an infant, and therefore I share in common everything with anyone else who was also described as female at birth, erroneously or otherwise.

Of course anything to do with being "female" isn't my fucking identity, as a man.

AFAB and AMAB stand for Assigned Female at Birth and Assigned Male at Birth.

Being assigned male or female was an event that happened in the past. I was also a fucking baby at birth. I'm not a baby now, am I? Just because I was an infant then doesn't mean you would prefer to me as an ex-infant or previously an infant. That has 0 bearing on my identity as an adult. It's bizarre to bring it up.

AMAB and AFAB are perfectly useful terms to describe that specific event - the event at birth when you were assigned a sex, incorrect or otherwise.

What relevance or frankly, business, is it of anyone's what sex a ten-year-old was assigned at birth? A twenty-year-old? A forty-year-old? A seventy-year-old?

There are loads of trans people who never went through the wrong puberty, and have had various surgeries. There are plenty of trans people who have been stealth since they were kids, where many of the people around them never had any idea they were trans and/or intersex, and they just went through the puberties they were most comfortable with.

There is no "AFAB" or "AMAB" experience that is universal to everyone based on what sex they were assigned at birth. That is a lie, it is a fiction, and it's not even a convincing once if you actually talk to a variety of other trans and intersex people. Words to the contrary are generally just based in gender essentialist ideology.

What does it have to do with anything, except that some freaks basically still think of assigned sex at birth as what you "really" are, or having a big impact on your current identity in perpetuity?

In a few years, the abilities of surgeons around uterine transplants will have improved. Within twenty years, I expect we'll see more trans women having pregnancies, and in general more people carrying pregnancies after having womb transplants and other organ transplants.

Just say "people who can get pregnant". Just say "people carrying pregnancies" and "pregnant people".

Stop trying to imagine that someone's ~femaleness~ or ~maleness~ is what the crux of the matter is here. Stop trying to project the male and female """"""biological""""" bullshit onto people when it doesn't apply to them.

There is no such thing as universal biological or physical sex under male and female categories, let alone shared experiences based on those categories.

Just eliminate that shit from your mind. It's a fucking cancer.

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

Ok question with the jkr thing though.

I agree she’s a vicious asshat who deserves to die alone, frothing at the mouth with hate, but like, Chris Pratt gives money to hate groups (his brother is a nazi and will occasionally subtly promote shit), Disney funded the “don’t say gay” bill, etc. Why don’t they face the same criticism?

And honestly most companies do some really heinous shit. Apple and child slavery, for example.

I’m not saying we should throw up our hands and say whatever, but I don’t get why Rowling is the only one we’re focusing on.

Plus, idk that completely ignoring her will do anything.

There's a pretty decent post on this topic I just saw, I'll reblog it here shortly.

My best guess as to why hp and jkr get the (justified) hate and other brands don't get the (equally justified) hate is cos like. Virtue signalling. Like, in this day and age, if you're on the internet and you don't at least *appear* to hate rowling you'll immediately be pinned as a bigot. So like, you've got a hell of a lot of people boycotting hp and jkr so that they *look like they care about trans people* but it's that. It's surface level activism.

Many of these people simply don't CARE about trans lives or literally anyone else they claim to protect, so when it comes to sticking to their high and mighty morals they claim to have...they fall woefully short.

Which is why you still get online "activists" frothing at the mouth over the latest disney show, or shit made by people like joss whedon, or whatever. They're not thinking for themselves and it drives me absolutely freaking batty.

So yeah, it's kinda fucked that jkr gets all the social flack for her actions, when people are still hard for disney because they're being ~inclusive~ now. But I don't think the answer is to stop giving jkr shit. Crispy rat should fade into obscurity and his name should be shit on, disney should burn to the ground, everything!

And another thing! The people carrying on like people are only saying hp isn't very good because jkr is getting shat on now. Like? It doesn't actually matter! I don't care if the stupid wizard school books are on the same level as Shakespeare! I actually don't care! The point is, even if they were the brilliant works of modern art so many fans claim them to be, jkr is still a total ass-face and is directly funding anti trans laws. If I ever hear her name again it will be too soon.

But like bloody hell. Some people are whining about jkr getting shit and no one else. Ok? Instead of whining about it start boycotting disney AS WELL.

[not-poignant]

Hey! It is so interesting to me when people hate on things created by the people they hate (not bashing here just wondering, for each their own). It is just for me it always was the same thing as - my country is run by terrible people, but there woudn't be the place where I can feel more at home than this room I am in. Same always was with HP. I will hate Rowling for every shitty thing she said/did, but hp fanfics/books will always be my safe haven. It's not hers anymore, it's mine.

Anonymously coming into a trans person's private messages to tell them that hating on the creations of the most famous transphobic creator in the world is 'interesting' to you as though this is merely a thought experiment and not something with tangible stakes is a choice, anon.

Here's the thing. JKR isn't dead, she's not a philosophical concept (like a nation), she's not a government. She's a living person still using the profits of her creations to hate on and harm trans people and actively influence trans dehumanising laws.

Anyone who gives her money via buying her books or merch actively and explicitly contributes to these actions and this hate. I don't think your analogy is comparable, so I'll give you another: It would be like if you were a domestic violence victim, and I was a huge fan of Chris Brown (a very famous domestic violence abuser) and went into your personal space to anonymously tell you how 'interesting' it is that I can separate the art from the artist. That his music is 'mine now' while fully knowing that a domestic abuser is benefitting from my listening to his music and spreading this rhetoric about him. I'll tack on a 'but he's bad' to cover my bases, but that's it.

Just...why.

Our lives are not thought experiments. It's not 'interesting' that many trans people can't and won't separate the art from the artist while the artist actively uses the money from the art to harm us and increase hate crimes against us. It's devastating that more people don't understand why this is such an issue.

HP is not yours, anon. Not in the same way it's JKR's. You don't own the IP. You can't use the profits from it to help marginalised people. You can enjoy it in your mind, and privately, and among folks who feel the same way as you, but speaking about it favourably in public with zero caveats allies you with the most public and infamous transphobic mascot and influential figure in the world whether you like it or not. Even with caveats, it still harms more trans people than it helps.

Being reminded of the person actively working to increase the number of draconian laws around our rights, who has the endorsement of Putin and has empowered trans haters in the US, is not an 'interesting' little experiment for me, it's actively painful and hurtful. I'd rather you just bashed outright so I could delete the anon message rather than explain why our lives are interesting philosophical think pieces.

If this is what you're choosing to do with the part of HP that belongs to you and is now yours, by anonymously coming here to tell a trans person these things as though you expect any answer than the one I'm giving you now? Well, that sucks too.

Enjoy the IP and make it yours if you must. Stop telling trans people about it anonymously. And if you can't stop telling people how much you like HP, for god's sake, warn them first so they can decide if you're safe enough to keep interacting with.

[wellfine]

wow...... MANY artists take requests randomly. this isn't the original anon, I just saw your post&was blown away by how rude it was. this anon wasn't even rude. artists are always putting out informationals with like guides on how to speak to them&it's the so egotistical&rude&controlling. I literally won't commission random artists anymore&only my close friends bc of these rules that change artist to artist&don't apply to everyone. anon asked you a simple question&was extremely nice about it&you chose to be an asshole in response. y'all act like you're training rabid dogs or something. just, say no, don't answer, or block the anon. like I can't figure out what ticked you off so much about that. talking to ppl like shit won't help them. it will just make people afraid to speak to you at all. anyways lol you're losing a follower&a fan. maybe let your anger out at the gym or something before you take it out on someone asking an innocent question. they truly probably thought "the worst they could say is no" &you proved them wrong. exactly the reason I no longer commission art from artists who aren't my close friends. my anxiety is too high to deal with the anger&your need to control how other people talk to you(even when it's not mean&they're just asking an innocent question).

Good lordt

Mate, I said "no hard feelings just letting you know this ask came across as rude" after we had a bit of a giggle about how funny it is that they hadn't stumbled upon the specific kind of fanart they wanted to see when IMO it's extremely common in the fandom, and then pointed them to another artist who had already drawn what they wanted to see.

"Don't ask/hint at artists to draw you things for free" is not being rude or demanding or egotistical, it's just a firm boundary. It's not a minefield to navigate, and artists who accept random requests usually say so somewhere in their bio/about. I also think blocking the poor anon would've been way more harsh and unnecessary than letting them know how their behaviour was perceived, cuz if they keep doing it, some other artist is going to be way meaner about it.

[qcomicsy]

literally obsess with your time travel au. It's hard-to-find time travel au with adult Damian cause if there is one with him, he is usually a child.

I'm glad you like it!

Honestly I'm obssessed with the idea of adult Damian, because let's be honest the kid it's fucking amazing???? He has a insane amount of combat skills, got taken care by Nightwing is being raised by the Bat himself and was in the Titans. He is very clever and even though he's impulse he's never downright stupid.

As this is not even counting his Assassin's League Background.

I don't think we as a fandom give Damian the enough acknowledge he deserves because of his personality (which I really think it's forgiving considering his age and background). And even speaking of his personality I truly don't believe he isn't that bad, he is annoying yeah but what kid isn't? It's part of characters charm, it reminds me of Bruce so I do have a soft spot for him anyway (lmao).

But, Yeah. I got side tracked sorry. The thing about Damian that get's me, it's that I really think his mother side it's so much more cool than his father's (sorry Bruce), even the name is impactful Damian Al Ghul. The potencial the kid has as an adult, more mature, more focused and skilled as an leader is insane. He deserves credit and I think he deserves to lead the Assassin's League, to make his own mark, without Bruce.

Also was this AU an excuse to just push my Damian and Tim dynamic and Damian Al Ghul leader of the assassin's league headcannon? Yes it was.

And I don't regret a thing about it lmao.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Legality is not morality, yes, and Purity culture be damned, yes, but I would like to think that when people mistakenly say "as long as the ship is legal" they are actually referring to p*dophilia and inc*st? I always thought that's what people meant when saying such a thing, at least.

yes, that's likely what they mean, but that doesn't change anything. you know what else is illegal? murder. but no one says it's immoral and wrong to read or write a detective novel that contains murder because murder is illegal.

fiction is fiction, end of story. if things like incest and pedophilia - or rape or abuse or hardcore kink or whatever - negatively affect your mental health, then it's up to you to avoid works containing that content. you do not have the right to tell other people what they are or aren't allowed to ship - or write, or draw, or read, or watch - no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.

ships cannot be "illegal", because they're fictional. they're thoughts in your head and pixels on a screen, not real people. no matter how disturbing you might find some content, you do not have the right to censor fiction or police thoughts.

full stop, no ifs ands or buts. i do not care if the content in question makes you want to throw up, it is not illegal as long as it's not media of real people being exploited, and you do not have the right to censor it or harass the people creating or consuming it. it is none of your business.

[benevolenterrancy]

Congrats, now all I'm going to be able to think about all day long is Chifeng-zun being stunned into silence by the sight of Meng Yao's braids, the same as if he had never left. His hand reaches out and clenches in mid-air, while Jin Guangyao stands shell-shocked and panicking, or blissfully oblivious to how Nie Mingjue's world is tilting on its axis. He could be mad, the rage that almost let him call the Unclean Realm home making Hensheng thrum: because what right does Nie Mingjue have to want him now, when he finally has a place he belongs? And why does want to quit it all for him?

Anyway, now you can share in my brain worms~

In that moment, something was communicated

unfortunately, neither knew exactly what it was

[eirianerisdar]

Eirian, if I may be honest in your ask box, I’m having a hard time not being angry at Charles right now even though I know he didn’t have much, if any, control over the situation. In lieu of getting any irl comfort, I’m wondering - assuming Icarus-verse doesn’t get to 2024 - how would Charlos have dealt with this there? I just feel Carlos is in desperate need of flock right now.

Anon, I'm having a very hard time understanding why you would be angry with Charles. Carlos losing a seat has nothing to do with him. Really, it has very little to do with anything other than what team wouldn't want a seven-time F1 champion to drive for them?

Charles has every right to say he is excited to be teammates with Lewis in the future. He doesn't need to say anything publicly about Carlos, nor does he owe us that. He and Carlos' friendship has plainly not been one that they feel needs to be put out there for cross-examination. Their friendship is such that they still play chess in 2024 in the private setting of chess.com. They go to dinner together in Maranello during winter testing. We would know about none of these things if it weren't for fans noticing. Charlos don't feel the need to post these things and we shouldn't ask them to because their friendship is theirs.

Charles doesn't need to prove that he spoke with Carlos about the seat situation by posting about it. Of course they spoke about it. You think they'd go around having dinner together two weeks ago, well after they found out, if they didn't?

The point here is that F1 drivers are people. Their friendships do not need to be public, nor do expressions of compassion or affection. Carlos has said that he thinks he will be even better friends with Charles once they aren't teammates. Both of them have said they knew it would happen eventually.

Another thing I want to point out is that Icarus is a fanfic about F1 drivers with wings. Yes, it is a thinly veiled allegory for unsafe practices in sport. Yes, it draws heavily on real life circumstances in F1. But the characters in Icarus are just that - characters. Nobody under any circumstances should think real life people should act anything like what is described in RPF just because the RPF uses them in a story. We are borrowing characters. We are not saying our writing reflects real, living people.

Charlos are not as codependent in real life as they are in Icarus because in real life they do not have wings. Yes, we can see some parallels in how they fight to survive in Ferrari together but we don't know them. I don't know them. Carlos IRL is not "in desperate need of flock". He has his own management team and a teammate with whom he is very good friends with. He is confident and he is a sought-after asset in the driver market and I have no doubt he'll land on his feet.

In the context of Icarus, yes, I will write about it. I'll put it in the latter section of the extra Charlos chapters at the end of the fic, the ones which cover the 2022 French GP and onwards. There'll be plenty of hurt-comfort there. But the point of growth in Icarus!charlos is that they eventually grow out of their codependency. They are flock, but eventually realise what it is to be flock without needing to cling to each other to survive. It's a good thing.

So, Anon, I know you meant well, but you are not entitled to have Charles make declarations about how Ferarri effed over his friend, or even declarations about how Carlos is his friend.

They're friends. That isn't performative. It's visible. We do not have the right to demand that they show their friendship to us, because that would be ridiculous, like extrapolating driver relationships with a wingfic would be.

Enjoy reading RPF because it's fun. Not because you think it happens in real life.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

andrew mafia front sounds interesting

WIP Wednesday (8/16) | Mafia Restaurant AU

Andrew had never been particularly interested in traveling. Regardless of this fact Nicky and Erik invited him and Aaron to go to England with them. Despite his initial protests, he got roped into coming along. A nice family trip, Nicky had said. But 'nice' and 'family' don't belong in the same sentence.

Andrew doesn't think there's any sights to see here anyway. He's quickly proven correct as his cousin drags them all over London to take photos of every rock, tree, and blade of grass he can find. Finally, after about three thousand snapshots of some old ass church, Andrew can't stand it. He's starving to death.

"Food. Now," Andrew says, dragging Nicky away. They end up outside of a French restaurant. At least, it seems to be a restaurant. The sign is old and faded and there are no cars in the parking lot.

"This place looks sketchy," Aaron comments. Andrew shrugs. As long as there's food, he doesn't care how it looks. 

When he shoulders through the door, the inside is just as empty but the lights are on and there's a sign which reads ‘please seat yourself.’ So, Andrew leads the group over to a booth. Once everyone is seated, Andrew notices a few well dressed men at a table at the back. None of them have food; they’re just sitting there and staring at Andrew’s entourage. After a couple of minutes, the three of them stand slowly and file into what Andrew presumes is the kitchen. 

“Well, that was weird,” Nicky says, pointing out the obvious.

next->

[toastedclownery]

Yeeeah. My ass is not built for artfight. Sorry

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

I like not posting selfies so when a thirst follow follows me back, I know it's for my personality and wit.

[uncanny-tranny]

Do you think that terfs will calm down with hating on trans women once womb transplants are a thing? Because their whole argument is that "trans women aren't women because no womb uwu"

No, because that frankly isn't their whole argument. They don't argue against trans women solely because "no womb," and if womb transplants were a viable and safe measure, that would absolutely not be a good argument to calm their grievances - a transphobe doesn't deal in a genuine care for others, it a disgust response.

Transphobes already have issues with trans women getting FFS, vaginas, and hell, they even have issues with trans women being fem (or masc), even if they say, "we're okay with gender nonconformity!" as a cover. Because, again, it is a disgust response that blooms in response to their own transohobia, it isn't about being able to debate them, really.

Additionally, with my experience of dealing with that kind of extreme reactionary transphobe, they don't fucking care if they're wrong. Like, do you know how many times I've talked to a TERF who tells me I only transition because of misogyny, only to then talk in circles once I say, "misogyny against me had only increased since I have transitioned to male, plus, I never faced misogyny before I transitioned," because again, it isn't about the trans people themselves per se, it's about this viseral disgust response. It is them trying to reason with their discomfort with hatred. That isn't going to go away when trans care expands or becomes even more advanced.

I really want to stress how important it is to not whittle their whole argument down to "[trans women*] don't have wombs," because you will end up missing a lot of trans people who are affected by this type of extreme reactionary transphobia.

[coffeeshib]

Hi! I’ve recently visited your page again, after a longer tumblr break and saw your posts about people’s comments on your fics. It made me both sad and angry. Sad because they’ve managed to take away your joy for writing Supercorp and angry that people feel like they can type out any hurtful thought that goes through their head, for a thing that is absolutely free and made with so much passion and care. 😒🤬

For what it’s worth, I always loved the way you write both of them. AND the fact that you don’t ignore Kara’s trauma and struggles. “i’m spilling all my words (but you keep 'em to yourself)” will forever be one of my favorites. Thank you for the hours of joy and fun you have given us! I hope you know that for every entitled commenter there are ten times more people who love your works! 🫵🏻🤘🏻

ahh thank you so much, i appreciate this. i have to say, sc still has me by the neck, i do plan to finish that fic & maybe write some more but it won't be anytime soon. i had hoped that the fandom would calm down with the kara hate after the show ended but i was wrong, it still hasn't changed.

when you've been writing for sc for so long, the frustration builds up, & there have been many times where i felt like i needed to (& did) restrict myself when writing them. it stops being enjoyable when people are constantly calling kara 'stupid' & insult her in many different ways for not being the happy sunshine kara danvers who takes care of lena all the time.

personally i love reading & writing the reverse situation (lena who's being the patient loving one & also the shoulder for kara to lean on) because the show didn't give us enough of that. unfortunately, people don't respond well whenever kara is struggling with her issues & lena isn't the one who's being comforted.

i write what i like & that's what i'm always going to do, but this build up of frustration over the past years & always anticipating kara hate every fic/chapter killed the joy a lot.

i've seen some authors speak about this too & it's genuinely sad to see! people can like & dislike whatever but it's important to note that there are readers out there who don't realize that their personal feelings against kara also affect authors & their love for writing supercorp

[stopcannibalizingourown]

Ha. Wow. Good to know that talking AT ALL as a trans man is gonna get me labeled as a whiner with a "victim complex". Guess I'll keep my disgusting, t-tainted mouth shut forever, no matter what horrific and dehumanizing BS my community goes through, cuz no amount of people defending us is going to change the fact that enbies and trans fems think we're invading scum. Christ. Let's just stop calling ourselves trans. Let's just make our community, it'll be better than this never-ending parade of sneering condescension. I went through this exact same problem when I first came put as aro. IT DOES NOT STOP, IT DOES NOT CHANGE. Non trans mascs have had plenty of time to accept it, they made their fucking choice. At this point, we're the idiots for continuing to try.

Hey so. I sympathize with your pain and you have every right to be angry at the people who treat you this way. You don't deserve this exclusionist bullshit and I'm not about to tell you your feelings aren't valid.

But what, exactly, made you think it was an okay move to send this to me? Like. I'm a fairly avowed transunitist, I've repeatedly expressed that I'm strongly against separatism in all forms, and I'm literally a trans woman. You know, one of the groups you seem to think will never stop thinking trans men are Invading Scum?

And listen. I'm also transmasc. I already have a lot of complicated emotions about feeling like I don't Really, which are made worse when I see intracommunity violence—and they're Definitely made worse when someone comes into my inbox with an unsolicited separatist vent.

Now, admittedly, I don't talk about those feelings of uncertainty regarding my belonging very often, at least not on my Tumblr blog where it'll be seen by 1k+ random strangers who just know me as that lady who says things pretty well. However, I really don't think "maybe refrain from telling someone who's both transfem and transmasc that the two identities are diametrically opposed and incapable of unity" is thought that really requires much insight into my inner life.

Just saying.

[indestinatus]

didn't know I was talking to the tiva fandom royalty

you're not??? what does this even mean

[distort-opia]

just wondering if you know of any fic taking place when batjokes died in endgame? i’ve been thinking about them dying together and now i’m crazy. if not maybe someone else does/will get inspired just putting the idea out there

Sadly I can only think of one that directly addresses Bruce and Joker dying together in Endgame:

+ It's Hard Saying Goodbye by BadgerDame (oneshot, 2k words, rated M)

Summary: "I'm just going to rest here a little while with my friend."

I've also got a WIP in the works about that, hah. I'm guessing you probably know of the unused Lovers of Valdarro Greg Capullo cover? It's been haunting me ever since I laid eyes on it, how exactly Bruce and Joker would get in that position. Especially because I'm pretty sure Joker hated Bruce's guts immensely at that point. I'll get around to finishing that fic too eventually... But if anyone has other recs of fics fitting this description, please add to this post!