#I'm not sure if I can do that..
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welp.. so much for that...
#p5x opens like three hours from now!#I think I can play it tomorrow but I STILL haven't completed reload!!! I gotta finish reload!!#and I didn't know I could record my games pretty well like this!! I should record reload a bit too(idk if that is allowed though..#oh I just found it is allowed.. but I have to make commentaries etc#I'm not sure if I can do that..#p5x#the owl is obviously the shady one here#I think it's supposed to be the one behind it all or sth but that's way too obvious even for atlus.. so maybe not
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twst 5th anniversary#i'll stop for a while now i promise i just wanted to get this out#genuinely feels a bit weird to be 5 years in already huh!#that combined with having finally finished up episode 7...#oh no all the milestones hit at once help#hold on while i reminisce for a moment#because MAN i did not expect the anime disney boy game to become so special to me#(especially my little wet rat dragon and his family)#to be fair 2020 onward was uhhh let's say prime timing for a piece of silly and unapologetically indulgent media#(not to get too real here or anything but let's just say that. some of the stuff in 7 specifically did hit a bit harder than it should've.)#but also just. you know how it goes.#sometimes a thing doesn't so much speak to you as it reaches out and grabs you by the throat#with an intensity that shocks and bewilders no one more than you#and sure you can ignore it because having any emotions about media beyond faint scorn is of course the epitome of ~cringe~#but you could also just throw yourself wholeheartedly into it#and lemme tell you one of those options is a hell of a lot more fun#idk i'm just kinda rambling here#it's been a weird five years but i'm glad to have had these guys for it#and hey if nothing else it gave us meleanor#the inside of my brain at any given point is just the 'do it for her' meme covered in pictures of our late great dragon princess#i would not have it any other way
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they are putting yaoi in the city art museum and censoring nsfw content with heat-responsive material so you have to put your hands on it to see dick
#just thinking thoughts...#I'm not sure I fully agree with whether it needs to be censored at all#but I do really like how they've resolved the situation#look at yaoi with a sense of purpose etc. get personal with it. if you choose not to then why not#places I'd love to take hypercapitalist taiwanese brazilian dude so he can examine his discomfort with yaoi lmaooo#'bro you are drawing so much gay shit... your plausible deniability is wearing thin... are you sure you're not a fudanshi'#<- the correct gendering on this still sends me every time
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Part of the reason I'm so adamant about encouraging people to get comfortable with bugs, my own interests aside, is because we cannot have a bright, solarpunk future without them.
A green future is not a bugless future. It is, in fact, a fairly bugful future. If you care about ecological stability, then you need to start with bugs, because they're the most at risk with our current use of pesticides.
#solarpunk#I'm sure someone actually working in conservation can chip in with more detail but#I just notice that a lot of these solarpunk aesthetics tend to be full of plants but often bereft of bugs#and people tend to avoid them as a whole out of courtesy for people who might be afraid of so much as an image#but we NEED to get comfortable with them existing and being around us#we need to stop encouraging fearing and hating them as a bonding activity#and to all of you trying to do that right now even though you have a phobia: I'm proud of you.
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First meeting
#stobotnik#doctor ivo robotnik#agent stone#sonic movie universe#i hope you all are noticing what i'm doing with stone's clothes specifically#white shirt pre robotnik black to fit his goth boss then colors when ivo starts wearing red#also i know we all like to think robotnik hated being assigned an agent but i present to you:#he sees it as a symbol of status kinda. stone hates being here#it just feels right to me. it's not that robotnik thinks the agent will be useful at all#he's just pleased that he got one#everyone else has an assistant why shouldn't he?#this ties to a very very stupid headcanon i have#and it's that robotnik's blood type is O negative#HEAR ME OUT he would hate that. he would hate being an universal donnor because he doesn't care about saving lives of humans ew#but then stone is also O negative so that means robotnik can receive blood from him if necessary#and that's mostly the reason why he was chosen to be his assistant#ivo is too important to die! and O negative blood isn't that common#Stone knows but probably no one told robotnik#then of course imagine stone getting injured and needing blood and ivo is like wait i can do that it doesn't matter what his blood type is#you get the point#i think. i'm pretty sure there was a point#oh well#oh the no hr joke. they're a shady goverment organization i don't think they treat their people that well#that being said maybe robotnik's treatment of stone was the reason they had to get an hr department who knows
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🥀
#fanart#hxh#kurapika#not entirely sure if executed the idea satisfactorily but i also have been staring at it all day for the final push to finish the rendering#my idea was just a focus on the head being somewhat submerged so that the eyes would multiply in the rippled reflection#it made me think of ophelia and i wasthinking i could do a companion piece with more body included#also the colours were more orange-y yellow...hrrMMMM#been watching the 1999 hxh but i can only find the dub version LOL#its cute i love the art..#also i swear i posted one (1) tweet with my patreon link and now my twitter has been nuked..#i'm sorry for playing the numbers game being artist hard
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
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katsuki LOVES seeing you spend his money. you tell him you're having a bad day? he's sending you some money and telling you to buy something nice for yourself. you guys are going out on a date? he reminds you not to bring your wallet—he's got it. and you've reminded him time and time again that he doesn't have to do any of that, that you feel bad spending his money!!! but he doesn't care.
he reminds you every time that he wants to spend his money on you, no matter how big or small. he knows full well that you can pay for the things he buys you. he knows how hard you work for your money, how dedicated you are to your job.
but if he's there, why should you have to worry about anything at all?
katsu2ji © 2025. please don't copy, modify, or do anything of the sort with my work! i work very hard and you simply do not have my permission.
#⋆.˚ s writes!#— mha!#cue that tweet that's like#“when little miss “i can do it myself” meets mr “sit down“”#HEY so i'm actually in love with him.#and this wouldn't even just be in a money situations#its in ALL situations#katsuki's making sure u never have to lift a finger around him#bc what is his job as your partner if not to help with everything that he can?#mha fluff#mha#mha bakugou#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#bnha#my hero academia#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo#bakugo katuski#bakugo katsuki#katsuki headcanons#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugo katsuki#mha blurb#x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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another wip bc i'm excited about this set :3 (some more for my lovely patr0ns)
disclaimer i'm a runner not a person who does pushups so idk if this is actually possible
#ramble#arcane#jayvik#wip#i know people can do this with their kids i'm just not sure about your partner even if he is built like a sheet of paper#also there is a dads preview thrown in there bc it's a canon event#idk what it is but jayce is So hard to draw#like generic handsome man is REALLY hard for me. weird little pointy freak is fine
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GET LOVED, IDIOT
GET LOVED SO HARD YOUR KIDS HOLD HANDS AND POWER-OF-LOVE YOU BACK TO LIFE
sorry guys, this is just my brain now. this is going to be the only thing I think about for the next week at least.
oh and also this
FIVE YEARS IN AND IT'S FINALLY CANON 🎉🎉🎉
WE DID IT
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 13 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 13 spoilers#oh my god it had everything i wanted AND MORE#...except the hook for 8 which ironically was the only one i was 100% sure was guaranteed to happen#well whatever i am too busy floating in this pool of delicious diasomnia tears#SO MANY TEARS#malleus' voice acting was absolutely 🤌 delectable 🤌#him and silver both are usually so reserved you don't even notice until suddenly FULL-ON UGLY SOBBING#IKANAI DE KURE LILIAAAAAAAAAAA#god. i have so much i need to draw. malleus in his little royal outfit...#ENDLESS MELEANOR F O R E V E R#(ah...meleanor and the knight of dawn are holding hands... :) you've reconciled... :) how lovely...)#(oh...and bauru is here too...)#can't believe poor sebek got 'and also you're here'-ed even at a time like this#that rhythmic was SO cute i'm gonna die. he's your son so it should be ✨PINK✨#ugh this update has spoiled me absolutely rotten. i'm so happy#though i kept waiting for that silver vanrouge and finally decided it wasn't going to happen#then got the 'there is one thing...but it's not a gift that malleus-sama can give...'#and THAT'S WHEN THEY DID THE HOTFIX UPDATE AND I GOT BOOTED#and then i KEPT GETTING ACCESS ERRORS DUE TO HIGH VOLUME 😭#twst NO i didn't need that tension to be heightened thank you#on the other hand when malleus started his proclamation with 'in the name of the draconias...' i did have a second#where i was briefly convinced they were going to do the funniest possible thing and make silver draconia canon after all#anyway i'm out of tags so we'll have to discuss malleus' absolutely bonkers-cuckoo choice of party venue later#now i gotta get back to constantly rewatching the moment he realizes he's accidentally killed lilia. his weeping is my sustenance.
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#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki spoilers#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#owenwilsonedit#marvel#dianagifs#😩😭#what... in the most tragic of romances did i just witness#gotta rewatch tomorrow but cannot BELIEVE how okay i am with everything atm???#their story clearly isn't done their burden is obviously going on without each other and they exist fundamentally connected#they've lost everything but being able to see mobius every step of the way is enough for loki to make the sacrifice#and mobius left for his timeline with no other purpose than to make sure loki could do just that#now they're lost without each other?? the only thing mobius can do is exist for a moment in loki's creation i'm UNWELL#god this is the star crossed angst that's gonna keep me going for the rest of my LIFE they're my everything#loki s2 spoilers
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being an "is often envious of others" narcissist instead of a "believes that others are envious of them" narc SUCKS. WDYM seeing other people do something even slightly better or faster than I do makes Me feel physically ill?? this shit is so embarrassing.
#narcissistic personality disorder#npd#actually narcissistic#actually npd#putting this in the main tags because surely I'm not the only one who feels this way#currently trying not to angry-cry because someone else on a forum posted about My favorite character in a thread before I did#I'm smarter than them (or at least more verbose and analytical) so I can still infodump circles around them but hngh#why do I suddenly have any competition. being an expert on him was My niche why are you challenging it. delete your damn account ‼️
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Can we get Crab era Rob and Stone watching Eurovision?
(Also just for funnsies, are you watchi g the Eurovision final this Saturday? 👀)

I'm always down to draw crab era idiots but I don't really know anything about Eurovision...
#ask ask ask#stobotnik#doctor ivo robotnik#agent Stone#sonic movie universe#I'm... pretty sure eurovision is about music?#I'll be honest I discovered it was a thing like last year#and my reaction was good for the Europeans and then I never thought about it again#I'm sorry europeans#you can explain if you want it sounds pretty cool#ejem Robotnik is holding Stone's arm like that because#it seems like something he'd do#more than that it seems like something stone would allow#it's something i do. just move people's arms around while I talk to them#it's very fun specially when you want to point at things
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the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh
#lucanis is being SO cringe with that line right out there in public and I would die for him. it's just such a weird thing to say#tbf if anyone in the world is used to the insane things lucanis says and would go 'yes yes lucanis waxing poetic about coffee#in ways normal people reserve for trying to get in someone's pants (the roast won't fuck you lucanis)#we've all heard it' like it's all normal I suppose it would be illario. and also he's too busy with the 'shit fuck shit he's not dead#he's not dead of the family members 'supposed' to be dead we're at two definite failures out of two and woe me if the twain should meet#if that IS a demon in there it sure talks exactly in the same bizarre way only my cousin does#does that mean anything what the fuck do I do who do I kill about this' internal monologue I guess#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I mean he does very much say that to a non-romancing rook too which only makes it all the more delightfully odd#is it a very lucaniscore way of testing the waters. is it just how he always talks about coffee. many plausible approaches here#no one forced him to bring up kisses and 'you should try it' out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. he could have acted normal#(theoretically)#i feel there are reasons to read some stuff into it lol#lucanis when rye says he prefers tea: it's so over cautious overture I don't quite understand myself yet gently rebuffed#lucanis when rye takes him up on the 'so what should a first kiss be' theme: oh we're so back!!!! wait. what. what do I do now#what is this#it's kind of really sweet that rook answers with their own playfully florid beverage based barely hidden metaphor at the end too#matching freaks and having fun with it#as far as lucanis is concerned rye's only true flaws are 1) prefers tea to coffee (oh well. no one can be perfect. cross-cultural love#can conquer all even in this) and 2) weird taste in interior design (did we really HAVE to bring your 15 foot tall corpse statues#with us home rook. I can understand a tasteful skull here and there but this seems excessive. well if it makes you happy I guess)
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