#I'm so incredibly in love with vulcans

[doyouwanttoseeabug]

Star Trek crew but they're all different species hear me out:

Jim - Jim has to remain human. He's the humanist human around, and also there is infinite comedy in the idea of a bunch of other species making exhausted eye contact whenever he pulls his bullshit.

Spock remains Vulcan obviously.

I initially thought Tellarite Bones BUT I think Andorian Bones fits better. Adding an extra-spicy layer to his Thing with Spock if their grandparents were literally shooting at each other. Every time Jim is Extremely Jim, Bones pulls out the ushaan-tor with a Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a duellist but DON'T TEMPT ME

Romulan Uhura. No listen, trust me on this. Escaping from the Romulan empire because her love of languages leads her to a love of other cultures and a fiercely anti-imperialist anti-hegemonic stance. Her poise and calm comes from a lifetime of lying to the Tal Shiar, who were aggressively trying to recruit her before she joined Starfleet. How did she become an expert in diplomacy? Well her favourite childhood hobby was not getting dissapeared by the state so the rest came naturally.

Klingon Rand was revealed to me in a dream.

SCOTTY is the Tellarite. Jim rings down to engineering all meek like "hello Scotty can you tell me why the "ship is about to explode" light is flashing" and Scotty's like your mother was a leper and your father was a clown. Yeah the engines are fucked.

Chekov is Orion for The Angst TM

I know I KNOW that the Federation hadn't made contact with the Cardassians in TOS but Cardassian Sulu. He's so nice and smiley and polite :) and he's just saying Captain that if you want anyone poisoned I might know a guy :) the guy is me, Captain :)

I really wanted a Ferengi on here but no one fits so. Ferengi Chapel I guess. She's actually incredibly nice and way more professional than Bones but occasionally there's a gleam in her eyes and you just know she's thinking Oh, if I wanted to, I could rip these suckers off.

[taska-rokanh]

Befriending Spock Headcanons

My first Star Trek content! Spock is my favorite character by far and I feel like he needs some love. A lot of my Star Trek content will be romantic, but I feel like especially with Spock, it's necessary to explore the first steps of just becoming friends, because it's harder to break down his walls and he's not one to just act on attraction at first sight.

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.1 k

- People have very different, often very polarizing opinions on Commander Spock. You'd heard more than enough stories about how cold, calculating, unforgiving, and inhuman he was. 

- But when you met him, all you could think was that he was so cool.

- He was incredibly intelligent, capable of making smart and informed decisions regarding basically any situation that affected the ship in minutes, and always acted with absolute certainty. Despite that, he did not want a command of his own and readily accepted his own mistakes, readjusting accordingly. What was there not to admire?

- You tried your best to be friendly, but you knew it was a long shot. Not only was he a Vulcan, he was your commanding officer. You weren't sure how he regarded any sort of personal relationship, really.

- Still, you found yourself engaging him in light conversation in the halls, the mess hall, or the lift. You broke it off quickly if it didn't seem like he wanted to talk, which surprisingly was very infrequent. If you got him talking about science, or the history and philosophy of Vulcan, it was quite easy to get him to talk.

- Spock is... I'm not sure how he would describe it, but I suppose, pleasantly surprised to find someone that not only tolerates his discussion of such topics, but actively pursues them.

- Whether you know it or not, you've chosen the most effective method of breaking the ice.

- Spock encourages this by consulting you on data that is outside of the normal scope of your duties as often as possible. He enjoys being challenged, and surmises that you must, as well. You have a natural curiosity and a scientific mind, one that with proper training could even attain his level of authority in time. These discussions don't feel like replacement training sessions so much as informal academic chatter, though.

- Spock starts to show that he considers you a friend through verbal encouragement first. It's often very dry and hard to detect, but it's there.

- He once corrected you regarding a postulation you'd made when analyzing some data that was adjacent to your field. You said, "Oh, right, that makes more sense. Sorry, I'm a little stupid sometimes," out of habit, something that you knew you should probably grow out of.

- He looked at you, perplexed. "Ensign, you should not insult yourself for being unaware of a highly specialized piece of information that allowed me to see the facts in this particular light. Every scientist, no matter how intelligent, has their blind spots."

- You smiled at his encouragement before raising your eyebrow in doubt. "Even you?"

- Spock hesitated for a moment before considering his ineptitude in handling his friendship with his captain and now, it appeared, you as well. "Of course."

- You didn't believe him, but thought it was sweet of him to say so. "Thanks, Commander."

- "You may call me Mr. Spock, or Spock, if you prefer."

- "Sure thing, Mr. Spock."

- The Mr. gets dropped shortly after.

- Every smile you manage to get out of him is an absolute treasure, as it is very rare. Something tells me that the first smile he gives you would be in a situation in which you are distressed and he is trying to reassure you, perhaps he sustained a nasty injury and you are very concerned. The smile is fleeting and feels a little unnatural, but the effort he put into it was enough to convince you that he would recover. little did you know there was little effort expended--seeing your care for him, it was almost irresistible.

- Every smile you give him is treasured by him, though they are so much more frequent. It is true that humans smile with so little provocation, but it's still nice to know sometimes that he's the reason and not the butt of some joke (looking at you, Kirk and Bones)

- There are two facts about Vulcans that are very relevant to this situation: 1) Vulcans are touch telepaths, meaning that touch is very, incredibly personal and reserved for special situations (except for Sarek and Amanda cuz they're whores), and 2) Vulcans are, in fact, very emotional people.

- Keeping these facts in mind, there must be some way for Spock to express his feelings of appreciation and camaraderie for you, and it cannot be in the average human manner (handshakes, pats on the back, high fives)

- So instead, he takes a more vested interest in your wellbeing, asking if you've eaten, drank water, slept, etc. especially when you've come back from an away mission and are busy analyzing new data.

- You often seem to find each other following each of the Enterprise's adventures. These are often time-sensitive and life-threatening, and as a low-ranking science officer, often your only orders are to stay put and protect yourself. 

- The first time or two after you've become friends, you try to hide how shaken you are--you know you're fine, really. You just can't help that your reaction to coming down off the adrenaline high is to literally shake and sometimes cry a bit.

- However, Spock sees through what you're trying to do and reassures you that you are safe. "I know."

- "I intended to convey that you are safe to express any emotions you may currently be experiencing."

- Oh.

- You usually end up sitting with Spock somewhere, your quarters, your lab, the mess hall, the holodeck, shaking and crying before recovering after a bit. The emotional expression always makes Spock a bit uncomfortable--not because he's disgusted by it, but because he doesn't have/doesn't feel comfortable expressing the skills or the emotional intelligence needed to interact with them. 

- His simply being there is enough. You recover in 15 minutes or so and can carry on as before.

- "Have you considered consulting Dr. McCoy regarding the management of your anxiety surrounding these events? They seem to cause you a high degree of stress."

- You shrugged. "It's just my body's response, it doesn't bother me," you reassured him. "Besides, I've got you."

- The feeling of being needed in a way not associated with his intelligence or his duty was unexpectedly welcome.

- In time, he comes to take a more active role, bringing you food and water while you're working or offering to make a bit of progress on your work while you take a short rest--Vulcans don't require as much sleep as humans, after all.

- After a while of this, you mention to him that you feel that you could be a more proactive friend, when he takes so much time and effort to look out for you, and ask him what you could do.

- He looks at you, perplexed. "Your presence in my life is quite sufficient," he assures you. "Your companionship proves to be a gratifying part of my daily routine in any measure."

- He has no idea how sweet he can be.

[android-and-ale]

My Philon Awards Spirk Fic and Art Recs (Updated)

EDIT: Updated to include art links! Scroll down to feast your eyes!

It's Philon Awards Season! I'm going through my bookmarks trying to decide how to narrow down the many, MANY amazing fics and art I've voraciously consumed.

If you're not deep in the fandom you might not have heard of the awards. They're given at KisCon, the annual Kirk/Spock convention in Seattle. However, they're open to nomination and voting by anyone who enjoys Spirk, no convention membership required!

Click Here for a link where you can learn all about the categories and access the anonymous google form to nominate your favorites. You don't have to attend the con to vote. It's open to all Spirk loving fans!

I've assembled my own short list below. It doesn't begin to cover all the great fics published in the last year, and for some of these writers narrowing it down to only a couple nominations each was incredibly hard! (For the official nominations ballot, you can only chose a max of 3.)

Whether or not any thing below makes it onto your personal nominations lists, please check them out. This has been a great year in the fandom!

Short Fic (under 10K):

Lost and Found in Translation by @indeedcaptain

How to Win Plants and Influence Lizards by @indeedcaptain

We Need Disposable Towels In The Gym by @affixjoy

Baby It's Cold Outside by ChancelorGriffen/SpaceIsGay

Here We Go Again Again Again Again Again Again Again Again (Again Again) by @flippyspoon

Melting Snow, Sweat, and Other Dripping Fluids by CampySpaceSlime

Long Fic (10K - 50K):

The Yeomen of the Garden by @cicaklah

Get Some by @flippyspoon

Please Don't Take Him Just Because You Can by ChancelorGriffen/SpaceIsGay

Way from Within by @gunstreet

Sugar In Your Hand by @werewolves-are-real

Don't You Know Me by @strangenewwords

Hurt by @therebewhaleshere

Novels (over 50K):

The Exiles by @jennelikejennay

The Recitation of Names by @jennelikejennay

Regulatory Relations by @indeedcaptain

(note: the author says RR will be complete before the end of the nomination period)

Mol-Kur by @uhuraprime

Of Trees And Telepathy by StupidCat

Traditional Art:

Untitled Nude Spock in Pencil by Florian/spirk-ny-love

The Ritual by Purple Enma

The Birth of Adam As Spirk by garneneva

A Piece of the Action by red-cicada

Untitled Spock as a Satyr by USS Genderprise

Untitled Pencil Screenshot Redraw by catloverkid00

Digital Art:

Captain's Gambit by Lorvee

Vulcan's Forge by CelestialVoyeur

Video of "Birdhouse in your soul" with Spirk art they drew by Knifecat111

Untitled Amok Time Portrait by Gensho

This Time In Front of the Klingons by Honey Ginsen

Untitled Shore Leave Gift by Eldar-of-Zemlya

A Barrier by iskander-tm

Kill Your Captain by asyncamestel

Untitled Plato's Stepchildren Art by daekiyu

Untitled Pride Month Pinky Kiss by who-i-am-is-who-i-am

(I might have to roll a D10 to pick my favorite art for the official nomination form. It's been such a good year, and so much stuff scrolls past with only a few seconds of appreciation. Treat yourself to another look!)

Shameless Self Recs (both fics under 10K):

And Filled With Tomorrows by me

Replicator Roulette by me

If you're looking for some great new fic, please read the back catalog of FlippySpoon, Moreta1848, IndeedCaptain, Gunstreet, SpaceIsGay, and the entire One Man series by Cicak. It's all so good! (All links take you to their AO3.)

THESE RECS ARE BY NO MEANS COMPREHENSIVE!

This has been a bumper year for Spirk! I'm about to write a follow up post with stats, but FWIW, based on AO3 posts, this is the most active the fandom has been in over a decade! 2024 is the year we feast!

[onwhatcaptain]

My K/S Novel Is Now Complete!

Some of you might remember me posting snippets of it week-to-week. I'm super excited to share that it's now fully complete, clocking in at 26 chapters (and a title page), spanning over almost 166,262 words. I worked incredibly hard on this and I'm so happy to have this work finished.

Here is the link to it, with more details under the cut.

I Shall Do Neither (166262 words) by onwhatcaptain Chapters: 27/27

Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy Additional Tags: Romance, Angst, Heavy Angst, Loss of Control, Psychological Trauma, Mutual Pining, Five Year Mission (Star Trek), Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Post-Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Pon Farr, Pon Farr Aftermath (Star Trek), Unresolved Sexual Tension, Friendship, Grief, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Unreliable Narrator, Vulcan Biology, Tarsus IV (Star Trek), Vulcan Mind Melds, Non-Linear Narrative, Storytelling Through Vignettes, Missing Scenes Between Episodes, Plot, Cover Art, Canon Divergence, Digital Art, Illustrations, In spite of the description Kirk features heavily in this novel Summary: In the wake of the kal-if-fee on Vulcan, Kirk is dead. When T’Pau tells Spock to live long and prosper, he knows he shall do neither. This is a story about men who love each other, and the lengths they will go to for one another. - Foolish, he thinks. I have been a fool.

How he had wanted so desperately to prove his Vulcan side. How all his life it had felt like a performance, and yet, to be finally subject to the most Vulcan thing of all destroyed him. The stripping of logic. All sense torn from him. His carefully constructed barriers had collapsed like a flimsy house of cards. To be granted his wish this way was a type of mockery. How he had wanted to be fully Vulcan. To prove that the blood which runs through his veins was not so human.

How wanting had been better than having.

[twinkboimler]

spirk fic recs

to mark this blog hitting 125,000 posts I thought I'd throw together a fic rec post of some of my favorite spirk fics! There are so many recommendations I could make, but I tried to recommend ones I don't see recommended as often. Fics are included under the read-more, enjoy!

TOS:

These Hands, If Not Gods by greenforsnow (Explicit, 18,200 words). A post-Amok Time fic where Spock is still experiencing plak tow symptoms, and Jim does his best to help Spock out. One of the first spirk fics I read, and I am such a fan of how Jim is written in this fic. One of my favorite takes on TOS spirk, it's an all-time fave

It's Only Art (if it makes you feel something) by Wrath_of_Bones (Teen and up, 24,231 words). I thought the ending of this fic was really lovely. Jim tries to figure out who's been painting a series of paintings that have been appearing in the art studio on the ship. SO much pining. Perched in the Soul by Betazoa (Explicit, 12,847 words). During an away mission, Spock accidentally bonds them together in an attempt to save Jim's life. There is SO much pining and sexual tension in this fic as they struggle to try and keep things platonic despite the bond needing to be consummated.

The Bond by TheVulcanBobDylan (Explicit, 12,371 words). A post-Amok Time smut & hurt/comfort fic. I really enjoyed the characterization of everyone in this, and there are some moments that really tugged at my heartstrings - Spock has so much anxiety about bonding with Jim, and the feelings Jim feels are incredibly human, so real and complicated. So good.

TOS Movies:

Shakedown Cruise by Rhaegal (RhaegalKS) (Explicit, 23,122 words). This fic has a lot of pining and yearning, all as a result of Spock still missing memories following the fal-tor-pan. Jim longs for Spock to remember, missing the relationship he and Spock used to have. Jim feels a lot of hurt; Spock may be alive again, but Spock is still remembering how to be himself. So, so good.

AOS:

And Then I Let It Go by kianspo (Explicit, 10,632 words). The most popular fic on this list. Post-Star Trek Beyond. The crew has a bit of time on their hands as they wait for the new ship to be constructed. During that time, Spock up and leaves, cutting off all communication, and Jim tracks him down. I really love how this fic explores the post-Beyond version of these characters and what they've all just been through.

kuv kath-vuk fator by AgentStannerShipper (Explicit, 56,475 words). An AOS take on Spock's pon farr. So much smut at the end, really need to underline the explict rating and the tags on this one. This fic also has some good Nyota & Jim friendship content that, let's be honest, is lacking in a lot of trek fic. Jim works with Nyota to learn some Vulcan because he's nosy and is trying to figure out why Spock is requesting medical leave (spoiler alert: it's pon farr), and by the end of the fic, him having put in the time to learn the language pays off and makes the final part of the fic super satisfying. Check the tags on this one to see if it's right for you.

Weekend Lover by ValiantBarnes (Cimila) (Explicit, 30,016 words). Academy-era. AU where they have a one night stand in Riverside, and while Jim expects to never see Spock again, once he runs into him in San Francisco, they start hooking up again. Check the tags; the smut in this story is really what's pushing the plot here. Intense and really good, I'm a big fan of the ending to this one, I've read it multiple times.

SNW:

The 1,000 Hour Sleep by spqr (Mature, 27,227 words). I've reread this fic at least four times already since it was published last year. This fic nails Strange New Worlds Jim despite us having him for only an episode, and it's such an entertaining AU: Espionage with Jim as a spy whose path keeps interweaving with the Enterprise and its crew. Jim gets exposed to some radiation that won't let him fall asleep but sleep is required for the radiation to leave his system - this is where Spock steps in to help Jim sleep via a meld. I find something new I love about this fic every time I read it. Additionally, there's some fantastic "crew as family" content, and it explores the family dynamics between Jim and Sam, too. It's such a well-constructed fic, cannot recommend enough.

[itsmyfandomandilikeit]

What exactly is the deal with T'Lyn?

So now that T'Lyn is a recurring character in Lower Decks, we're getting a lot more of her character, motivations, and personality. But from the getgo, the show has introduced her as being a nonstandard Vulcan.

Spoilers for Lower Decks 4x03 and all of Star Trek Enterprise below the cut.

T'Lyn has been kicked out of the Vulcan Science Directorate for being too much of a wild card, and she wants to get back in. This is her stated motivation for this season.

However, she is still steadfastly attached to her individuality. She refuses to stop using phrases like "I believe" when justifying her scientific claims, and she wears a headband, which no other Vulcan wears. On the Cerritos, she openly displays empathy, even if in her own way, and serves as a pivotal motivator for Boimler in this week's episode. She does so by easily and immediately understanding his perspective and responding to his current state of mind.

She doesn't appear to know of a reason why she's different from other Vulcans, at least in a significant way. She believes that her dismissal was unjust and she should be allowed back into the VSD.

For one, I think it's obvious that T'Lyn's arc will result in her giving up on returning to the Vulcan Science Directorate. She has to accept herself as an individual separate from the collective and realize that her personal value is illogically squashed if she can't use her unique judgment in the line of duty.

But, secondly, I believe it will be revealed that T'Lyn is the great granddaughter of T'pol and Trip Tucker.

Mike McMahon (McMahan?) has stated that he'd love to write for T'pol. There has been enormous interest from the fandom and creatorship as a whole in revisiting the character, both for the sake of her popularity and to canonize the post-Enterprise books which retcon the main series' pointlessly depressing ending. However, Jolene Blalock has retired from acting, and it doesn't look at all trivial to talk her into coming back. The idea has been floated to ask her to record a few lines for Lower Decks rather than fly her out to dress her up to be in Strange New Worlds, if an appearance can be made at all.

I think T'Lyn is a way around this whole problem. We've got a new, cool Vulcan character. She's smart as a whip, cool under pressure, and she's incredibly empathetic in a way that confronts people's feelings with gentle logic.

Her arc about breaking away from the Vulcan Science Directorate mirrors T'pol's arc far more than, say, Spock, who is a human-Vulcan hybrid but whose arc explores completely different themes.

T'Lyn is obviously a capable science officer, but what sets her apart is her empathy and her steadfast belief in her own feelings. I think, in the absence of another explanation such as a nonstandard upbringing (which I don't think has been hinted) this can be explained by her being 1/8 human. Hell, 1/8 made up of an incredibly kind and caring human who was so kind and caring he ended up in a situation where this is a plausible outcome.

Finally, one of ENT's most beloved episodes is Carbon Creek, which takes place 200 years earlier and is about T'pol's great grandmother. I think it would be sweet if T'Lyn's arc is mirroring that situation, 200 years later.

Whether or not I'm right, I'm loving T'Lyn and I'm loving the fact that she's here so much more this season. I'm excited to see where this goes.

[electronickingdomfox]

"Mindshadow" review

One of these days, Spock will do the logical thing and get an all-risk insurance for his brain...

Novel from 1986, by J. M. Dillard. Okay, this story is quite messy, as it tries to put together a pastiche of plot threads and themes that may or may not be that cohesive. It borrows heavily from TOS episodes, from The Enterprise Incident to Journey to Babel (even a bit from Wolf in the Fold). There are definitely a few plot holes and some silliness. The espionage/murder plot is sometimes too convoluted to follow. Also, some names look like typos: Transporter technician "Lyle"? (I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be Kyle), the penal colony of "Ebla Two"? (should have been Elba Two), "Chekhov"????... In terms of absurdity, it's similar to that other novel, "Black Fire" (and yes, there's even a pirate Spock in here too). But just as it happened with that book... I actually liked this one as well. It's a glorious mess, alright.

The most serious (and somber) thread is that of Spock receiving brain damage, and his struggles to recover his memories and Vulcan mental disciplines. The abuse he suffers from medical malpractice, his frustration with his impaired learning, his loving (and sometimes painful) relationship with his family, or Uhura's tender attempts to help him through music... Those elements have probably the greatest emotional impact in the novel, and are actually pretty good in themselves. This is also, at core, a "triumvirate" novel, with strong character drama between Kirk, Spock and McCoy, and a focus on their closeness.

On the other hand, there's another, more ridiculous drama: both Kirk and McCoy fall in love with the same Mary Sue, and hilarity tragedy ensues. For his part, Kirk seems pretty callous in his seduction of this woman, as he doesn't even like her all that much; at times, it almost looks as if he just wanted to piss McCoy off (isn't there really ANY other woman available for him!?). While McCoy, who truly loves the Mary Sue, ends up looking incredibly pitiful, desperate and, well, downright pathetic. However, out-of-character as it is, I ended up getting some guilty pleasure from all of it, as in "Let's see Kirk's next shitty move and what happens next..." Anyway, even though the woman likes the two of them, she ends up realizing they're both just too gay for Spock, to the surprise of nobody.

Spoilers under the cut:

The planet Aritani has suffered recent raids from cloaked vessels, so Kirk is negotiating with the natives to offer Federation help against the attacks, despite the natives’ reticence towards technology. They erect a shield around the planet to prevent the fighter ships entering the atmosphere, or trap below it those that may be cloaked right now. Then Spock goes alone to investigate the nearby mountains, since he found valuable minerals that could be the objective of the raiders. However, when Spock is late to report, Kirk goes after him… And finds out he has fallen off a cliff and has gravely injured his head. McCoy’s assessment is that Spock has suffered extensive damage to the left hemisphere, so his logic, language and memory will be impaired, and the doctor has many doubts about his eventual recovery; they’d need a neuropsychologist specialized on Vulcans.

Meanwhile, Kirk authorizes shore leave on the surface of Aritani, as several hours have passed without sighting any fighter (the reasoning being that, by now, they’d have run out of fuel to keep their cloaks up). Well, if you ask me, I don’t think it’s the most appropiate time and place for shore leave; and sure enough, a little while later a group of enemy vessels appears out of nowhere and starts attacking the crew on leave. Kirk and Scott can’t understand how that’s possible, and only see two options: either the fighters have an improved cloaking device that allows them to stay hidden for longer, or they somehow managed to penetrate the shields. Actually, there’s a third option, which they never even consider: they’ve been beaming people down to the planet for shore leave! That means they’ve been lowering the shields ALL THE TIME!! Duh… Kirk is having the worst day of his life, and on top of that, the Aritanians refuse further help from Starfleet, after their failure to protect them. Kirk’s orders, however, are to stay in the vicinity.

In sickbay, Uhura comes to visit an injured friend and starts singing for him. Then, upon hearing the music, Spock finally shows some reaction, and is capable of calling her name and asking for songs, as his right hemisphere (supposedly associated with emotions and art) is intact. During the following days, Spock will make some progress thanks to Uhura’s company. Apart from that, a new neuropsychologist is assigned to the Enterprise to study Spock’s case: Dr. Mary Sue Emma Saenz. Five minutes later, both McCoy and Kirk fall head over heels for her (to the point that McCoy is jealous even when Kirk says “Hello” to her). Emma also shows an unusual physical strength when she beats Kirk in their combat trainings. Nonetheless, it turns out that Emma… is actually Dr. Evil!Mary Sue!! She forces a mind-meld with Spock while alone with him, and extracts some important information about what he saw in Aritani, before erasing his memory of the meld. Her diagnostic is that Spock will probably recover in the areas of language and amnesia. But he has lost the Vulcan mind rules to shield himself away from others’ emotions, which he can now receive telepathically at all times. This could turn him into a violent individual, and Emma suggests restraints and an experimental medication: neodopazine.

In the bridge, Chekov manages to locate a decloaked enemy vessel, and they capture it with a tractor beam along one of the pirates. The raider turns out to be Romulan, but he denies the existence of any special device to penetrate shields, and Scotty doesn’t find anything of the like upon dismantling the fighter. Kirk was about to interrogate the prisoner, when they discover he’s been vaporized. Someone stunned the guard, then removed the brig force field and killed the prisoner, trying to make it look like a suicide. Security doesn’t have a clue about the killer (though the reader certainly can suspect who is it…). If this wasn’t enough, Spock is found in bed with his wrists sliced, as if he had also attempted suicide. Spock denies having done so, and says someone tried to murder him, but he doesn’t remember who. Emma is furious and gaslights Spock, saying he’s imagining murderers to cover up his suicide attempt. McCoy, however, takes Spock’s side and has a violent discussion with Emma, who ends up admitting she just wants to help Spock. Of course, the situation is very romantic, so they kiss. Later that night, Kirk is having trouble to sleep (no wonder) and goes to McCoy’s cabin for some pills (you see, he can’t go to sickbay, no; if he doesn’t sleep, then McCoy can’t either). Then Kirk finds out that McCoy is… sleeping with Emma!! Kirk doesn’t like that.

Since Spock believes his only option of recovering the mind rules is returning to Vulcan, he’s sent there in a shuttle with Scotty and Chapel. The shuttle has been sabotaged, and they crash land on Vulcan, though just with minor injuries. Spock is fine, so he leaves Scotty with Chapel at the hospital, and walks to his home town on foot. During the following weeks, he will stay at his parents’ home, trying to relearn the Vulcan disciplines with a Kolinahr master. His progress is really slow, though, and with mounting frustration, he realizes the neodopazine, far from helping, seems to be deteriorating his mind. Spock also meets T'Pala, a girl who's staying with his parents while she studies to enter the Vulcan Diplomatic Corps. T'Pala has many things in common with Spock: she's also half human, and has difficulty adapting to Vulcan life (even moreso than Spock, since she grew up in Earth). Sarek's disappointment with her is a mirror for Spock's own youth.

In the Enterprise, Scotty is put in the brig as the main suspect for the Romulan's murder (of course, he's later cleared of charges). For his part, Kirk hurts his shoulder while training with Emma. She takes him to her quarters to treat the injury, gives him an analgesic, and then they kiss. McCoy waits for Emma the whole evening, grows increasingly suspicious, and finally sees her leaving Kirk's cabin. After that, he mopes for a couple of days, until Kirk visits him with a bottle of moonshine ("here, I stole your girlfriend, but you can get drunk with this..."). Kirk, however, says he doesn't remember what he did with Emma. And Emma confirms that Kirk just passed out because of the analgesic; she's attracted to Kirk and kissed him, but nothing else happened. McCoy is happy with this (he doesn't ask for much, right?) and suddenly he's like "Hey, you slept with me a couple of times. Where's my wedding ring!? I'm a decent boy!". Emma says she'll leave soon, so no, no wedding...

After this, the Enterprise is tasked with bringing a bunch of ambassadors to Vulcan, to discuss the acceptance of Aritani into the Federation. This part is a bit dull and drags too much, in my opinion. During the journey, more suspicious incidents take place: one ambassador is killed, another is badly hurt, and an explosion leaves the Enterprise without warp drive. It seems someone doesn't want Aritani to join the Federation. Then, Kirk discovers that Emma has been making unauthorized transmissions, but she assures him she's been working for Starfleet Intelligence all this time. An Admiral confirms this point, so Kirk is satisfied.

Back in Vulcan, Spock has stopped taking the neodopazine, and experiments a clear improvement. Finally, he's able to recover the mind rules, and his memories from Aritani return to him in dreams. There was something really important he needed to tell Kirk, and now that the Enterprise is near Vulcan, Spock opens a transmission to the ship. But just before he can say anything, an assassin breaks into his house, injures Sarek, and tries to slice Spock's wrists again. He wants to make it look as Spock murdering Sarek, then killing himself. T'Pala intervenes at the last moment, vaporizing the assassin with a phaser. Then, she confesses that Romulans approached her to leak info about Spock, but she couldn't comply with their murderous plans. Having failed at entering the Diplomatic Corps, T'Pala doesn't have much more to live for, and she kills herself too.

Sarek and Spock recover in a hospital from the attack. And Kirk and McCoy band together against Emma to go visit him. Then Spock tells everything. What he saw at Aritani was some fighter vessels beaming up from below the earth, where the Romulans must have an underground base (that's why the atmospheric shield was useless). Knowing that they'd kill him, Spock decided to escape by jumping from the cliff, where he damaged his head. Much to McCoy's surprise, Spock also shows him a medical article written by Emma, explaining all the damaging effects of neodopazine in Vulcan brains. McCoy confronts Emma about the use of such dangerous drug on Spock, just when she was leaving for her next assignment. But she stuns him (and a bunch of other people) and escapes the ship, confirming their suspicions.

In the last part, the Enterprise returns to Aritani to destroy the Romulan base once and for all. Kirk gets again that surgery to look Romulan (as in The Enterprise Incident) and infiltrates the compound with Spock (who's dressed as a Romulan pirate, while McCoy wants to pierce his ear). However, they're captured by a Romulan officer, that Kirk recognizes as Emma. Her real name is Tanirius, and actually, she wasn't Evil!Mary Sue at all. She just carried out the Praetor's orders as a cover-up, all the while working for Starfleet and a group of Romulan rebels, to destroy the underground base. She gave Spock the neodopazine to avoid killing him, once she understood how important he was for McCoy and Kirk. This plot twist really took me by surprise, but that's in part because... well, it doesn't make much sense. You know, despite the novel trying to present Emma as eventually good, she's just not! Not only did she try to kill Spock SEVERAL times, but she was far more efficient at carrying out the Romulans' plans than what was strictly necessary!! (whatever, maybe she was just jealous of Spock). Emma helps them to deactivate the cloaking device of the base, and then stays behind to destroy it whole. Kirk and Spock beam up to the Enterprise in time, while an underground explosion shakes the planet. In the aftermath, Aritani accepts the Federation's help, now that they're free of Romulans. And Spock tries to console McCoy saying that some vessels fled the base in time, and Emma could be among the survivors. Kirk sees through his bullshit, though, and wonders if Spock is just lying because he also has affection for McCoy, much to Spock's indignation.

McSpirk Meter: 9/10*. The Kirk/Spock angle is more evident. When Spock is injured, Kirk just can't think about anything else. He goes constantly to sickbay to check his state, argues with McCoy, is irritable with everyone and everything... Kirk even tries to reach the catatonic Spock through a mind link, to no avail. And once he gets a replacement First Officer, Kirk is unreasonably hostile to him, just because he's not Spock. It's also said several times that Kirk is the person that knows Spock better in the entire world. Another remarkable scene happens when Spock is leaving for Vulcan. Spock can feel Jim's emotions and pain at his departure, and his repressed impulse to touch him, so Spock relents and takes his hand. As for McCoy, his care for Spock comes rather as medical concern, but Emma sees through him quite early. She says he's too emotionally involved with the patient to be of any help. And despite the fact they're in a relationship, it seems that all of McCoy and Emma's conversations revolve around Spock, which causes continous tensions between them. At one point, she states the facts clearly: "I have risked myself for your friend because you loved him". Effectively, the reason she gives for not killing Spock outright, is that McCoy and Kirk cared about him too much. The ending lines have Kirk reminding Spock of this fact, and wondering if Spock also returns McCoy's affections.

Apart from this, there's a certain tension between Kirk and McCoy. Before the whole problem with Emma begins, they're reminiscing their shore-leaves together, and McCoy is said to grin lasciviously at Jim. Also, when Emma tells Kirk that she and McCoy are having dinner together, McCoy starts blushing, and doesn't understand why such a simple statement embarrasses him so much. Later, Kirk comes to McCoy's cabin in the middle of the night, and finds him basically naked (wearing just a short tunic), which almost prompts a sarcastic whistle from him. He attempts to enter the cabin (you know, with naked Bones in there and all) and feels offended when the doctor doesn't let him come inside. At last, after they reconcile, McCoy comments that Kirk looks dashing in his Romulan pirate uniform. There's also something in Kirk's behavior about Emma, that almost seems like a disgruntled ex trying to ruin the doctor's new relationship. After all, Kirk doesn't even find Emma all that attractive at first.

[spirkme915]

I made the decision to be extra-judicious on deciding what constituted a spoiler for the new season of Strange New Worlds and I'm sticking with that.

But I have thoughts and I’ve spent way too much time thinking about them for a season and a half and I can’t hold them in anymore. So here you go.

Definite spoilers for episode 5 and everything before it under the cut. TL;DR at the very bottom of this way too long post.

Episode 5 was an absolute banger of an episode in terms of Hollywood entertainment value. But, and this is a big BUT, what the actual hell are the writers doing?

The Christine/Spock/T’Pring love triangle is tarnishing the gift that was given to Trek fans when Strange New Worlds was announced and it's becoming way too obvious not to comment on.

It’s maddening that they’ve decided to take a thirty second scene of a one-sided crush from the original series (Chapel confessing her love for Spock in The Naked Time) and turned it into a two-sided love affair that's part of a love triangle. It is, quite literally, derailing what is otherwise an incredible show.

I hear you asking… Seriously? Aren’t you being extreme? How could a consensual affair do that? Or.... You're a Spirk blog. Aren't you biased? Oh boy, I wish it were that simple. This is coming from a literal lifelong Trek fan who had Trouble with Tribbles memorized before I had an inkling what romance even was, and who - fortunately - was taught by my Trekkie father what made good writing.

The love triangle is not good Trek or good writing.

For reasons that likely have to do with Spock being arguably the most well known character in Star Trek canon (pop culture wise), the writers have chosen to focus on him. And what kind of storyline can they give us since Spock goes through a massive, decades long character arc in the original series and movies? (Spoiler alert, I answer that at the end and it's not a love triangle.)

For reasons that likely have to do with Peck’s appearance and natural charisma, they’ve decided to give Spock love interests - not just one but two.

Let’s ignore that Spock doesn’t show interest in either Christine or T’Pring in the original series. Really, that’s the least of the problems and easily explained away.

Where the problems arise are two fold - Spock’s emotional journey and the minimization of two strong female characters to love interests.

Spock’s emotional journey - As great as parts of this episode were (looking at you, Amanda), what it achieved was Spock coming to terms with his human side in a way that the Spock we know from the original series hasn’t accepted. It takes original series Spock until The Motion Picture (perhaps not until after The Voyage Home), to be comfortable in being both human and Vulcan. So the ground Spock gained in this episode? Strange New Worlds, if it continues as part of the prime timeline, can only result in character regression for Spock. As a fan of Spock in all iterations, that regression will be a heartbreaking and horrible way to end a hopeful show.

Christine and T’Pring as love interests - Dear god, can these women exist without being defined by a man please? It’s 2023. This shouldn’t be something female characters have to ask for. Sure, there was more about Christine in this episode, but her arc still revolved around Spock. And not only that, but we got the Korby name drop in this episode (her future fiancé). I'd love to think that this isn't headed in a direction where Christine will hook up with Spock then he’ll pull away and she jumps ship to Korby only to be defined again by a man. But for fuck's sake, this last season and a half hasn't given me much hope. Jess Bush is amazing as Christine. Is it too much to let Christine be her own woman? And T’Pring? I adore T'Pring way more in Strange New Worlds than I expected to. So, please, help a Vulcan woman out. T’Pring is already relegated to nothing in the narrative after Amok Time.  If there’s going to be an insistence on bringing her into the story can she please not be defined by Spock then Stonn? I'm BEGGING the Strange New Worlds writers - let these characters and actors shine as fully realized women.

But the larger problem is that this single decision for a love triangle has not only fated these three characters to regression and minimization - IT'S DIMMING THE POSSIBILITIES FOR EVERYONE.

When Strange New Worlds was announced, there were so many possibilities. A whole new part of canon to be explored and expanded. NEW CHARACTERS, NEW PLACES, NEW MORAL QUANDARIES, NEW EXPLORATIONS.

But we only get 10 episodes a season, right? Not the 26ish we got with the original series, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise. (Discovery, I'm looking at you and weeping too.)

So, why are the writers insisting on episodes focusing on an unnecessary love triangle when they could be doing this:

Uhura - Hello? SHE'S RIGHT THERE AND CELIA IS INCREDIBLE. The original series is notorious for brushing Uhura under the rug and other people can speak way more intelligently on Uhura meta than I can. But, I mean, she didn't even have a canon first name until 2009. So. Yeah. Good news, Strange New Worlds can change all of that. Build her history, show us her successes, her fears, her failings, glimpses into her past. Give her a chance to have a dalliance with the "alien of the week." Uhura is a beloved character for so so so many wonderful reasons. Give us the stories about her that deepen that love.

Erica - Oh, Erica. My beloved Erica. Paramount PR keeps saying that last week's episode was "Erica's Big Moment" and if it truly was her biggest moment of the season, then I weep for her and Melissa Navia. All we learned in that episode was that she's Erica Ortegas and she flies the ship (and, well, that Navia has a depth in her they haven't let her show with Erica so far). Erica does pilot and flies really goddamn well, but we already knew that. What about her time in the Klingon War? What about her family? Her friends off the ship? What was it that either made her determined to become the best pilot or that happened in her past that inspired her to become that pilot? How does she feel about being on the Enterprise? How does she feel about soup or carpet or art? There's nothing, literally NOTHING, in future canon about her and right now her Memory Alpha entries for her life before Strange New Worlds is seven sentences. SEVEN SENTENCES. All of this for a fan favorite character. *sigh*

Sam - The potential for this character is limitless and all we've really gotten is him touching something he shouldn't have, being xenophobic to Spock, and that he doesn't pick up his dirty dishes. Seriously? We know more about Jim Kirk in Strange New Worlds and he's not even on the Enterprise or in the same timeline! When we rewatch Operation Annihilate, give us a reason to mourn with Jim. Make that episode a billion times worse because Sam is a character that we know and care about outside of being Jim's brother.

Pike - Okay, so admittedly, Pike is probably the most fleshed out character besides Spock in canon and they're not shying away from the future he knows is coming. That's been handled really well. And they've also done a great job of showing how much Pike cares. But, what makes Pike one of the "great captains" and how has his past turned him into who he is today (the canon pieces with his father have so much possibility) and what is he doing behind the scenes to fight for his crew and his ship? I feel like we got more of the "great captain" in Discovery than we've gotten in Strange New Worlds. And, dear god again with the "romance," can his love interest get a canon first name please? Hard to buy he loves her when he calls her Captain Batel even in his personal log.

Una - She was pretty much a canonical blank slate going into Strange New Worlds and they've done some incredible episodes with her, but I'd love to see her actually be the XO? Making that a question because she absolutely is, but we have yet to really see that in practice. The relationship between Pike and Una deserves so so much more screen time. Let them be captain and first officer. Explore Pike mentoring her, and give way more of her mentoring crew. Let her be more than Illyrian. What are the unique challenges she faces as the highest ranked woman and non-Human on the ship? Is she a fighter or a negotiator or some secret third thing? Does she have an intricate knowledge of some space anomaly or ship function that no one else on board does? What are her future goals and plans? I'm rambling now, but the point is that she's a character who disappears from canon after Strange New Worlds and she's the goddamn FIRST OFFICER OF THE ENTERPRISE. Let her be that until she isn't anymore.

La’An and M'Benga - Honestly, I'm not going to put much here for La'An because out of all the "new" characters in Strange New Worlds, La'An has been fleshed out the most. And, out of all the "barely exists in canon" characters, M'Benga is the same. But I'm listing them because they make my point. La'An and M'Benga are good examples of what happens when the writers focus on characters who either don't exist in canon or barely exist there. We know pieces of their backstory and their motivations. We know what keeps them up at night. Both actors have given performances that tie the audience to their characters emotionally. And yet, there's seasons worth of more material for both of them.

So. To come back to my original point - why are the writers focusing on a love triangle that tramples on canon and minimizes female characters when they are wealthy af with primo characters?

I mean, there are so many other ways they could have gone with Christine (making her bisexuality more than a one-off line, having her struggle with what happened on the Farragut, exploring her role during the Klingon War, family, friends, facing moral quandaries in her research...), and Spock (his relationship with Sarek, Vulcan rituals and practices we've never seen ((double parentheses here to emphasize that to us, as viewers, Vulcan *is* a strange new world and there's still a hell of a lot of Vulcan stuff that's veiled in mystery)), and MICHAEL ((remember Michael, his sister, who got a one line mention in the first episode then nothing?? Yeah, that Michael)), Spock's grief over losing Hemmer and Michael so closely together, etc...). Poor T'Pring is pretty much relegated to love interest and plot device at this point unfortunately. Instead of the love triangle route, they could've cut the sex scenes and made her a cool, calculating advisor to Spock and the Angel/Sybok plotline could've still happened. But alas, was not meant to be.

I've written a lot of words and taken up way too much of my day with this, but I seriously couldn't hold it in any longer. Look, I love Strange New Worlds, but I also seriously grieve for the show that it could've been and I seriously hope it will become that show in future seasons.

Strange New Worlds is gorgeous, the sets and special effects are A+, the actors are all pretty too and know how to command a scene. There's a lot to work with. But let's not forget that the original series was put together with styrofoam, glitter, and a prayer and it birthed this 60 year franchise. What kept people coming back to Trek were the relationships and a found family working together to explore, not a forced love triangle.

TL;DR

The insistence on the Christine/Spock/T'Pring love triangle is dooming all of their characters to massive character regression and minimization *and* cheating us out of learning about and loving the characters who are practically unknown in canon.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Your vulcan characterization is so wonderful, the light you shine on both canon and OC vulcan characters is genuinely VERY inspiring. You really encapsulate and give a believable look into daily vulcan life that’s fleshed out and, most importantly, loved. Your care for these characters is apparent in every word, and it shapes them into real people that feel both alien and familiar. In some of the fanfics I’ve read involving vulcans, it sometimes feels like the author is just writing very stern humans who are misguided in their approach to love and emotion. In your writing, however, it feels like you really respect vulcans and love their way of life- that you find beauty and interest in what’s alien to us. Which, I would argue, is a big part of what sci-fi should be. Idk, I’m trying to write vulcans myself, and the way you portray them is a huge inspiration. Thanks for all you do!

Anywho, how do you think Tuvok’s kids (as young children) would react to an arcade? The mental image of a vulcan kid submerged in a Chuck E. Cheese ballpit is personally very funny to me

I'm sorry this is so late but this ask is one of the most beautiful and touching ones I've ever received and I didn't know how to respond (overwhelmed, pleasantly) so here's a bunch of doodles of Tuvok's kids being incredibly well behaved during their family outing at the Space Arcade/Play Place

(Arcade Trip Play by Play Under the Cut)

Elieth is the only one interested in the ball pit. He isn't doing anything in there he is literally just sitting in silence and observing the different balls. He does NOT want to leave the pit!!! <- This is foreboding to his parents who know that he must, at some point, leave the pit. Varith and Asil go in the ball pit in an attempt to understand Elieth's fascination but are quickly bored. Sek watches them with his hands clasped behind his back. Whenever an adult asks if he wants to go in he says "No, thank you." He appoints himself the safety officer and will tell the other children not to play too rough and 'rescue' the smaller ones if they look like they're struggling. Asil wants to leave the ball pit and Sek manages to pull Elieth away with the promise that they will return - they will each pick an activity so it is fair! They all go into that large overhanging contraption (reminds them of caves - fun to play in!) but only three make it out again. They try to use telepathy to find their lost brother but they can't do it (too little) so they have to go find one of their parents who has to telepathically lead them to the exit. This almost gets the trip cancelled but they all promise to stay together this time!! Sek fulfills his older brother duties of being fucking sick at a video game all his younger siblings watch him play. This actually draws a crowd of more than just his siblings - a VULCAN playing video games? He goes up against a human, wagering their tickets, and he wins. However, since Sek is against gambling he does not accept the human's tickets. This only makes him cooler. Elieth wanders away to the ball pit during this time. The remaining Tuvoklings figure out that the claw machine is rigged and think this is unethical and unfair. To remedy this, they find a way to plant their sister inside the machine where she proceeds to hand out as many toys as she can before the employees catch wind and alert their parents. That is it. We're going home. Where is your brother? (In the ball pit.) While Tuvok wrestles Elieth out of the ball pit, T'Pel takes the kids to the prize counter and they put all their winnings together and ask to be able to take a ball from the ball pit home. The clerk says that isn't a prize and they ask again to be able to take a ball from the ball pit home. The clerk is tired and says Sure. Whatever. So they each carefully select one ball from the ball pit and give them to Elieth which stops his tantrum. On the ride home Elieth happily stares at the balls from the ball pit which his siblings got him and Asil takes out several toys from her backpack which she took from the claw machine. A very satisfying trip! Indeed, we should endeavor to make a visit once a week. (No.) Twice a week? (Further.) Once a month? (Perhaps.)

[star-trek-fandom-confessions]

I think confession blogs should be for expressing opinions which are unpopular or embarrassing/guilty pleasures. That’s what makes them fun to read.

If people look in the SNW tags they will find that disliking SNW Spock, the Vulcan bioessentialism in Charades and the S3 clip and concerns around the Gorn are incredibly popular opinions - even among SNW fans - and talked about ad nauseum.

I can only conclude that people ‘confessing’ about those things are involved/experienced enough at fandom/tumblr to notice the majority of fans agree with them or they’re just using this blog to complain about how much they hate something to a wider audience than their regular blogs can achieve.

Anyway, it’s boring. I think you should consider not reposting confessions where pretty much the exact same thing has been ‘confessed’ more than three times already.

I’d mean less for you and more fun for the readers.

Uhm, no?

Who said that confessions have to be unpopular or embarrassing, or only come once, to qualify for this blog? Should I have binned the confessions that love Voyager and Enterprise, or the ones who thirst for Data, the ones who are critical of AOS, Jack Crusher, Bashir's bouts of bad characterization with women, every confession that was popular and/or was similar to another? So imagine a new fan spends months binge watching the whole franchise, and they have a lot of opinions, and they want to complain a bit about AOS and PICARD and SNW (this was my experience, only I didn't have an anonymous platform) and in their rush they find this blog and don't have the time or the energy to look for confessions that match their own. Or maybe they still want to use their words. Or they just really want to see their words on the blog. All valid reasons. I find the confession, and I think "Oh, another confession that hates on AOS/PIC/SNW. There's a lot of those so I'll just delete this one." I ask you, is this fair? Achieving more views for an opinion is one purpose of this blog (though to be honest, how popular each specific confession gets is entirely out of my or the OPs' hands; most of this blog's confessions never reach 100 notes), and sometimes some of those opinions will suck to you personally. If only you knew how many I see that I don't like... and yet here I am still. I didn't think I'd have to say this but no I cannot reject a confession because it's a subject repeated ad nauseam and it's personally annoying for a certain group of fans. I'm sorry you think it's boring, and believe me that sometimes I agree, but if you can't ignore and scroll, you can block the tags critical confession, anti strange new worlds, anti snw, the tags that I make sure to include in the posts? I realize most blogs that make critical posts about it don't bother with anti tags, but that is not on me or the people I run this blog for. If I mess up and you need me to change/add tags, can you notify me in a comment so I can fix it? People, I'm trying to be neutral for everyone and give everybody the means to avoid reading things you don't like, as much as I am able. Are you making good use of them?

[shuttershocky]

Hello! I'm in love with Vulcan, but I'm not sure how to use juggernauts, how do I help her shine?

Since Juggernauts can't be healed, they usually rely on their massive stats and their powerful skills to stay alive instead.

Don't think of them like tanks (though they can be very hard to kill), it's easier to see Juggernauts as high DPS laneholders who rely on getting their skills up in time to deal with waves.

In Vulcan's case, you want to rely on her S2. It massively spikes her ATK stat while also healing her for 10% of max HP every time she strikes. Combined with her talent that restores HP by 5% of Max HP per second when her skill is activated, and Vulcan becomes very difficult to kill, while trying to DPS race enemies down by killing them before they kill her.

Look at this behemoth. Her S2 gives her +150% ATK at S2M3. Very few physical damage enemies are going to beat her in a fight with her skills active.

This means that Vulcan shines in lanes where there's not a constant stream of pressure that can wear her down, but instead occasional spikes of very strong enemies that come around each time her S2 is up and ready.

Now, just because her trait says she can't be healed by allies doesn't mean that's actually true. While direct heals don't work, HP regeneration skills and talents (such as Perfumer, who gives everyone a regen buff based on her ATK stat, or Bards, who restore HP to allies while singing but don't actually throw any heals) DO work on "unhealable" units like juggernauts. if Vulcan needs just a bit more support, these units can help her a lot.

Now this is a bit more advanced, but Vulcan occasionally gets treated as a second Specter. At S2M3, Her initial SP on drop is 40 while her S2's cost is 50. This means that you only have to wait 10 seconds on drop for Vulcan to have her S2 ready. Combined with her incredible durability while her skill is up, and Vulcan sees use as a ridiculously tough unit dropped right in front of enemies that need to be stalled. As long as her S2 is active, Vulcan usually survives, so along with Specter (whose S2 has a similar charge time while making her actually unkillable), the two buy time for the rest of their team by activating their skills and blocking a boss with their bodies, stalling them for as long as their skills are active.

[mai-komagata]

more sneak peak speculation

ok no more being defensive about this jam, gonna talk about things that i think are interesting/could go places. Feel free to reply with your own theories, just no outright negativity? pls? (I dont mind saying you don't like certain things in the context of analysis, just maintain the basic assumption that the writers are trying to tell a story in good faith).

1. In Charades, Spock learned that being fully human would not solve his problems. Any gains he got in connection with his crewmates, or greater emotional availability had tradeoffs: losing who he fundamentally was. Him not being able to connect telepathically with his mother must have felt like losing a limb if that limb was a childhood memory.

I'm seeing how the crew is seeing all these supposed benefits to being Vulcan. But I think faced with the prospect of being Vulcan forever, greater work efficiency is gonna take a huge backseat to completely losing your identity and sense of self.

2. I commented before on ethan peck's acting, but I love how he always does these subtle things in the vulcan centric episodes. Like in Spock Amok, how he became Gia Sandhu with changes in micro expressions. In this one, it is amazing how he goes from feeling extremely vulcan in his demeanor to just "switching" a vibe and feeling so much more human. His exasperation at his colleagues being rude fucks that think they know more about Vulcan than he does was incredibly well played. Can't wait to see how he unpacks it for them and teaches them to do better -- im sure they will get backlash from other humans, too. He is like the only Vulcan "acting normal" in a room of other Vulcans that don't do it right.

3. I love La'an especially how she looks in askance to the things she does to spock, like "am i doing this right?" sorta how spock looked for his crew on tips about how to behave like himself in "Charades". I need to rewatch it, but it feels like they are all play acting what they think Vulcans should act like, and not quite getting it. People are right, they are playacting Vulcans, because that is what they think is expected of them.

4. I love the depiction of the increased sensory perception, almost like they are tripping. I love these investigations into neurological differences, as a person with a lot of sensory overload/sensory seeking behaviors, I appreciate those being displayed in characters. The neurological differences not being "just culture" is what I loved about aliens being portrayed as aliens. How does culture evolve from the material realities?

5. I do like that Pelia and the rest of the bridge crew didn't expect them to complete tasks faster. But they do. The purpose of them being vulcan was not to be hyperefficient. It was a side effect that is tempting to this workaholic crew, but not the purpose of the transformation. I especially want to see how La'an reacts to this long-term.

6. WTF is up with the lirpa? Why do they have one? How is it required to contain radiation? I mean it looks badass but I need more context to their mission.

7. bonus: scotty is so cute. we are so lucky he got added to main cast. This has nothing to do with the episode. I was just so happy to see him.

8. secret bonus thing: I mentioned this in another post, but the fact that their hair grows/is braided/is different is such an amazing visual language. I like them being willing to play with costuming to tell a story here, instead of just having ears/eyebrows. It is a very novel storytelling technique. It reminds me of the end of "These old scientists" where the cartoon aesthetic is used to depict the feeling of orion drinks. SNW being willing to play with the medium of the message is so unique to modern sci fi.

[trek-tracks]

Hiya! for the Star Trek ask game:

8) which captain would you like to serve under, 15) top 3 fave alien crewmates and 36) which social issue would you like to see tackled?

8) I'm kind of surprised at this answer, but the more I think purely about the characters, the more I think that SNW Pike would be my favourite captain to serve under. He's a little warmer and less distant and reserved than most of the other captains (other than Sisko, who I also considered, but I'd rather travel than be on a space station) to people outside of his main circle, and I would like to be invited for one of his home-cooked meals. TOS or AOS Pike, less so. Plus, Anson Mount and I graduated from the same small MFA theatre program, so I feel a certain sense of loyalty. It's like we both went to Dramafleet.

15) Oh this is tough, tough, tough! How dare! Well, I'd have to say Spock, for one; I think he's being overused right now, but I can't help but love that sarcastic mess of a half-Vulcan. I also have a huge soft spot for Deanna Troi, maybe because she's my girl Bev's BFF. And I was debating between Kira, Jadzia Dax, Tuvok, and Garak (all amazing), but then I realized that I'm actually going to give the third spot to D'Vana Tendi because I love her and she is me if I were more talented at both science and violence. (T'Lyn is also ranking up fast on my list.)

36) So many social issues! Trek has dealt with disability many times before, but something I'd like to see it acknowledge in a more complex way is the incredible range of opinions disabled people have in relation to their disabilities, and how that should inform care, treatment, and social policy. There are many things we consider "disabilities" that the people who have them consider integral parts of who they are (many people, for example, have spoken about their autism as something that should be accommodated rather than removed), versus disabilities where many (not all, because there's no such thing as a monolithic opinion, but more prevalently) consider them to have no positive aspect, and would rather they be "cured." For example, my type 1 diabetes has shaped my life, but if I could have it gone tomorrow, I would do it without hesitation or reservation. I'm not sure how they would delve into this discussion, but I think it would be a valuable one, if handled well.

Thanks so much for the ask!

[sachiko1309]

I will protect you - Part 1

Summary: After the kidnapping and rape of Lucy, the relationship between Spock and her strained, causing a big fight between the two. Both interpreting the actions of the other wrong.

Word count: 3699

Warnings: fight, overwhelmed Spock, confronting her rapist, mentioning of rape, emotional break down Minors DNI! this contains adult content

In honor of a good friend of mine: @mystery-star thanks for poking my brain to produce happy chemicals and therefore continuing to write 🥰

The longer my condition lasted, the colder Spock became. He never took his hardness out on me, but I could see it in the way he talked to Jim or Bones, the way his hands shook when he tried to forcefully maintain control. Maybe that was exactly what made me pull myself together and get out of bed. One day, I didn't know exactly which one, I had the urge to do something. Spock had just been called to the bridge to join Jim, so I had my cabin to myself. I got in the shower, brushed my teeth and put on a uniform. This time I decided on a version with trousers, tying my hair back in a bun.

Before I left my room, I checked again to make sure the hallway was clear. Then I set off quickly and quietly towards the prisoner track. I stalked the halls like a leper. Always careful not to be seen by anyone. My absence on the bridge had certainly been noticed by now and the additional absence of Spock had probably started some rumors.

Only when I reached my destination did I breathe a sigh of relief. Luckily, the cell hallway was empty. A single camera monitored the hallway, but I knew it would only be checked if an alarm went off. I locked the door behind me and pulled a chair in front of the only inhabited cell in this area.

When I raised my head, Hanesh was already looking at me expectantly: "Brave." Was all he said as he looked me over. "Why?" Was all I asked, not taking my eyes off the man in front of me. He just tilted his head. “Why what?” There was a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth, but I wasn’t sure. I crossed my legs and continued to look at him: “Why all this? Where’s the logic?”

My question seemed to appeal to him because he got up from his bed and slowly stalked towards the invisible barrier that separated us. “The better question would be, why not?” Was his answer. “Why not take what you can? What's the point of putting a chastity belt on yourself when everything is at your feet? It is the logic of nature. The right of the strongest. And you, my love, are unfortunately one of the weak ones.”

"I'm not weak." The defiance was clear in my voice, causing Hanesh to laugh out loud. "But of course. That's why it was so incredibly difficult to get my hands on you. The strong, untouchable Lieutenant Lucy Esteban. If so, how come your own captain would trade you for a relic? Even your race draws a line. Determines which people should be protected and which should not. And the man you call your partner... The pathetic bastard of a Vulcan, born of a lowly human woman... Guided by his feelings, like his father, he falls for the next human woman who spreads her legs only to lose to me.”

Hanesh threw his head back and cackled maliciously. He laughed so loudly that my words were almost lost in the echo: “The only one who lost is you. You’re sitting in a cell. You will be prosecuted. And if Spock was so weak, how come you lost to him? According to your logic, this should never have happened. And yet here we are.” Slowly, a small smile crept onto my lips as I saw how much my words affected my tormentor.

“Don’t you dare…” He tried to threaten me, but I sat up in my chair. “What?” I cocked my chin arrogantly, looking at him with my undisguised hatred. "What you wanna do? You have failed. Lost to a human and a halfling.”

“Did I?” Hanesh quickly regained his stillness. His eyes dripped with mockery as he spoke, “You will never be able to forget me. I will always be a part of you. Your constant shadow that makes you look over your shoulder. Who makes you see every man as an enemy. Makes every corner a danger. You will never be completely at peace. And it will eat you up. Letting you go to waste. To the point where even a Vulcan can no longer bear what his k'diwa has become. Tell me, do you let Spock touch you or can't you stand being close to him? How long do you think he will take it before he turns away? Weeks? Months if you’re lucky?”

His words brought tears to my eyes, I desperately tried to blink them down, but I couldn't. The first rolled down my cheek and dripped onto my arm. “I won't let this happen. Spock won't go. We will make it."

“If you say so, love. But I don't think you believe a single word you say." Hanseh's voice was quiet but full of hatred. He knew exactly what his words were doing. How deeply they affected me.

He voiced my worst fears. Would Spock endure what he had seen? Would he, no could he still love me after all this? He was barely able to look me in the eyes now. Every time I shied away from him, he disappeared for a while, leaving me behind. Was it his way to get away from me?

"Cam you see it now? Your decline has already begun.” Hanesh ’s last words finally made me jump. I ran, no raced, down the hall and unlocked the door with shaking fingers. His laughter echoing through the halls, following me all the way to my cabin, and continued even as I pressed my hands over my ears and fell to the floor screaming.

***

The door opened behind me and someone sank to their knees next to me. “T'hy'la. No. Don't let him win. I'm not going anywhere. I promise.” Spock. I blindly reached for his hands, letting his feelings completely overwhelm me in order to forget my own. He stiffened, perplexed, but I didn't care. I needed him and the conversation with Hanesh had shown me exactly that. Sobbing, I climbed into his lap and began to cling to him.

Spock snapped out of his trance and pulled me into a tight hug. He slowly got up from the floor and carried me towards the bed, then buried me under himself and the blanket. As if he wanted to banish the world around me from my mind. I just continued to hold onto him. Arms and legs wrapped tightly around his torso, head buried in his chest, as I listened to his heartbeat. He said nothing. Just held me tight. One arm supported his body weight while the other held my head to his chest. Only when I pressed my head against his hand did he let go of me and leaned on both arms. I wasn't sure what made me do it, but I pulled his head down again and pressed my lips to his.

As soon as he felt my kiss, Spock gave in. Sighing, he sank onto his forearms and deepened the kiss. It was beautiful and terrible at the same time. Spock's soft lips, the closeness that I finally felt with him again. But there was something else. Fear and panic spread through me and I tried obsessively to suppress them. But Spock had already sensed them.

He suddenly let go of me, sitting back on his knees as he moved away from me. “I'm sorry, t'hy'la . Please forgive me.” I was confused. What should I forgive him for? He must have misinterpreted my expression because Spock got up from the bed. He stood rigidly still in the middle of the room, unsure whether he should go or stay. He chose the former.

That finally triggered the panic in me. “Don’t!” I almost screamed, my voice cracking, as I jumped up and held him tight. "Do not go. Don't leave me alone.” Even though Spock hugged me back, I could sense how uncomfortable he felt. His voice was now as emotionless as if he were speaking to colleagues. “I’m scaring you. You don't have to suppress your fear because of me. It's only logical that you shy away from physical contact after everything that's happened.”

“I don’t shy away from your physical contact.” I contradicted him and took his hands in mine as if to prove it. "Do you see? You don't scare me. I know you would never harm me.”

"And yet I felt your panic when I kissed you." Spock continued to resist.

“But that has nothing to do with you. I…” I looked around the room, struggling for words. "I... Hanesh ... When you knelt over me like that, I was back on his ship for a moment... I don't know why..."

“Your brain processes the experience by reliving memories in similar situations to evaluate how to deal with it.” Spock rattled off and released his hands from mine again. “I won’t pressure you into anything. You need time to process everything.” He wanted to leave again, but I held him again. "Time." I spat. “It's been weeks. You sat by my bed for almost four weeks, enduring everything with me. I don't need any more time. I need you. Your hugs, your love, your touches.”

"It wouldn't be right..." Spock didn't look at me. His face was impassive. Eyes fixed firmly on the door. “Not right?” Now I got angry. "Give me one reason why it's not right for my boyfriend... husband by Vulcan law, to sleep with me?" That's when Spock turned around. “You are emotionally upset. It would be better if we talked about it another time.” His voice was cold and calculating, his eyes fixed on me without any expression.

His rejection stung me and I reflexively pulled the walls up around me again. “So it’s because of my emotionality. An emotionality that is to be expected with such a topic. And all you can think of is 'we'll talk later'?" I flippantly lifted my chin and looked at him challengingly. But my reaction didn't seem to have any effect on him. Quite the opposite. Nodding stiffly, he replied, “That’s correct.”

At those three words, everything inside me broke. My heart shattered in the depths of my grief as my body was pierced by searing arrows of anger. Somehow I managed to keep my anger in check and not yell at him, even though everything in me wanted to slap him. Spock, on the other hand, seemed to either not notice my anger or deliberately ignore it. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Intimacy too soon could further affect you and cause long-term damage. It would be better if we took it slower so as not to overwhelm you.”

“Not to overwhelm me?” I practically screamed. The dam inside me had burst. Tears ran down my cheeks, my hands were shaking and I felt nauseous. But I pulled myself together. I took a deep breath before continuing: “I think I know better what is right for me and what isn’t. I am grateful for your consideration. Really. Because I know you only want the best for me. But I need this. Need you.” My words seemed to soften him because he visibly relaxed. But what he said next was the opposite of what I expected: “Your assessment that I only want the best for you is entirely correct. But I think your statement that you know better what is good for you in your current state is wrong. You are emotionally upset, which means your ability to make decisions is negatively affected. So it would definitely be better to listen to my advice.”

My jaw literally dropped to my feet. Did he really just…? Without thinking about it, I rushed towards him and tried to slap him. Unfortunately he was significantly faster than me. He deftly caught my hand and looked at me confused, but I was no longer able, let alone willing, to explain to him what he had done wrong. “Get out!” I yelled at him. “Just leave. And I swear to God, if you so much as set foot in my cabin, I will kill you.”

"K'diwa ..." Spock tried to calm me down, but I had had enough: "NO! I don't care what you want to say. Your presumption to think that you can decide for me... Telling me through the grape wine that I am not capable of taking responsibility for my decisions... Patronizing me so much... Enough is enough. Just leave!” I pushed against his body with all my strength, trying to force him out of my cabin, but I couldn't. Like a tree, he stood firmly rooted without moving an inch.

"T'hy'la ...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… It was never my intention to patronize you…” But I didn't let him explain any further. I grabbed the first object I could find and threw it at Spock. “Get out now!” My voice had now reached a height where I was sure it wasn't far until I could burst glasses. My whole body was shaking, as my heartbeat was pounding in my ears and I was on the verge of losing consciousness.

Spock also seemed to notice that it would be better to leave at this moment, because he walked backwards towards the door with his hands raised. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me, t’hy’la.” But I studiously ignored his words and waited until the door closed before locking it.

I collapsed on the floor crying. I curled up in a ball and just sobbed to myself. It felt like all my strength had gone from my limbs, like the control of my body had left the room with Spock. I slowly rolled onto my back and remained motionless. With my eyes fixed on the ceiling above me, focused on the feeling of wet tears running from my eyes and into my hairline. I was cold. Not in an actual perceived temperature, it was more of an emotional coldness that slowly ate through my body, devouring me body part by body part, leaving me completely numb.

In the corner of my eye I saw the clock on my wall. 10:34 am. That meant, in theory, I still had almost seven hours of work ahead of me. I sat up abruptly and walked into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I took off my clothes, got in the shower and started getting ready for the day. I looked as if my body had been turned into a mindless shell, but I couldn't care less. I needed a distraction. A distraction from Spock, Hanesh, and my own mind. And what could be better than work?

With the PADD tucked under my arm, I made my way towards the bridge. As I went, I noticed people staring at me, but I ignored them. I was completely focused on the path in front of me and the feeling of the uniform pants slapping against my legs. With every step the fabric seemed to get stiffer, as if my clothes themselves were trying to keep me from working. Taking one last deep breath, I walked through the door of the bridge.

Within a split second, all eyes were on me. Spock and Jim looked as if they had seen a ghost, while the rest looked at me with looks varying from joy to confusion to concern. Without even explaining my appearance to anyone, I went to my seat and stuck the communicator in my ear. I then connected my PADD to the computer and began translating various captured messages. Apparently some messages had been intercepted while I was away and either couldn't be translated or were marked as unimportant.

Nobody spoke to me. Not even Spock, although he sat down next to me and went about his own work. After a while, the feeling that I was being watched disappeared and I heard the hustle and bustle behind me start again.

***

I didn't quite realize how much time had passed, but as the bridge emptied around midday, Spock cleared his throat for the first time. He stood next to me, stiff as ever, holding a plate of food in his outstretched hand. “I have come to apologize for my previous behavior and hope that after work we can find a solution to our problem together.”

My eyes darted back and forth between his face and the plate. “You brought me food? Why?” Was all I could come up with, still completely confused by the situation. Spock, however, seemed like he was doing the most logical thing in the world. “I have discovered over the weeks of our relationship that food contributes to your emotional upliftment. Since my last action left you upset, it was only logical that I contribute something to your well-being.”

"So, you're bribing me?" I asked, reaching for the plate in his hand. Apparently, Spock was still wary of any further outbursts on my part, so he stopped and looked at me. “Please forgive, t'hy'la. I don't quite understand how providing basic needs can be an attempt at bribery." His helplessness forced a small smile on my lips and I couldn't help but reach for his hand.

"It was a joke." I replied as I linked our fingers together. “Of course, I will talk to you later. Sorry I freaked out so much. I don't know why, and I really hope you can forgive me." Ashamed, I looked down and tried to hide the blush on my face.

"K'diwa." Spock's fingers under my chin forced me to look at him again. “There is nothing to apologize for. Even though I don't fully understand how you feel, I do understand why you reacted the way you did. I also had a very insightful conversation with my father and he made me understand what my mistake was.” I shook my head. "You didn't do anything wrong." But Spock interrupted me before I could launch into another tirade: "I tried to answer your emotions with my logic. That was wrong. Please forgive me, from now on I will try to respond to you better and make you feel like I am there for you. Because it seems that you humans value emotional support far more than a logical approach to solving a problem.”

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I placed the plate on the counter and ignored the reproachful look Spock passed between me and the plate. Then, I stood up and took his face in my hands and this time he didn't back away from me. Quite the opposite. He rested his hands on my waist and just looked at me.

"I love you." Was all I said before I pulled him down and kissed him, knowing that everyone on the bridge was probably staring at us right now. But Spock didn't seem to care either, because he wrapped an arm around my body and pulled me closer to him. Out of reflex, I relaxed and let him guide me. His lips were gentle yet firm on mine while his free hand rested on mine at the back of his neck. I immediately felt the relief rolling through his body and mixing with his love for me. Unlike usual, he barely suppressed the strength of his emotions and I clung to his uniform as my knees threatened to buckle under the force.

Only a loud clearing of a throat behind him caused us to break apart. He immediately pushed me behind him and puffed up protectively. But when he saw it was Jim and his father, he visibly relaxed and loosened the arm holding me behind him. “Captain. Father.” Was all he replied with a nod before turning to his desk. Jim looked at me with a questioning look, while Sarek just raised a knowing eyebrow.

I just shrugged and took the plate in my hand. As I ate, I went back to my work and tried not to pay too much attention to the whispers behind me. But I didn't succeed. Sighing, I almost slammed the plate on my desk and turned around in my chair: "Does anyone have a problem or a question that would otherwise burn through the seat of their pants?"

With a raised eyebrow, I surveyed the people in the room and looked everyone in the eye for a few seconds. Many looked down in shame, but a few held their ground. Sulu was the first to speak, "Not that it's any of our business, but we're all curious as to why you and Commander Spock haven't shown up for work for the last few weeks. Well not precisely, the Commander was on the bridge every now and then, but still. Some of us are worried. That's all."

I nodded and looked at him. “I understand and I’m really grateful for it. But I can't talk about it yet. And maybe I never will be able to. What I can say is that I'm fine. At least given the circumstances.”

“So, you're not pregnant?” Chekov blurted out, causing me to barely suppress a giggle. "No. I'm not. My absence is more of a psychological nature and Spock was there to support me.” Chekov nodded, his ears turning red.

“It’s a shame actually. It would have been the first Enterprise baby.” Sulu looked at me with a grin, whereupon I just showed him the middle finger. But he ignored me and turned to Chekov instead. With his hand outstretched, he said, “Looks like you owe me 50 bucks, Pavel.”

My jaw literally dropped to the floor. "You haven't seriously bet on whether I'm pregnant, have you?" Sulu just tilted his head. “Well actually, we bet on pretty much anything when it comes to you and the Commander. It’s not every day that a Vulcan is so human.” Shaking my head, I turned back. “Honestly, those who have you as friends no longer need enemies…”

“Pffff, you would be missing something if it were any other way.” I responded to Sulu’s objection with another middle finger and got a few laughs in the process.

[joju-but-trek]

Star Trek: Prodigy Season 2, Episode 2: Into the Breach, Part 2

People tend to think of Star Trek as a linear order of events, but in reality, it's a timey-wimey ball that you'd understand if you read the damn manual.

This episode is fun. I like the direction the series is going in, and I think I made the right call by spacing it out and doing an episode at a time. That being said, the premiere is a two-parter, and I probably should have treated it as one. The status quo changes a lot in part 2, and it lead to me making a significant number of statements I probably wouldn't have if I had known about that. But I did it to myself, and part of the experiment here is me intentionally watching the show as if it was a staggered release.

I think I like the premise more as it's presented here, but I would have gladly watched the show I thought I was watching during part 1. But as a whole intro to the series it definitely gets a 10/10.

I made the mistake of doing a bit more searching last night, so I know a few things are going to be much more significant than they'd seem from this episode. I'm trying hard not to spoil myself, though. That being said, Maj'el is cool. She's a good add to the cast, and I look forward to all the things that she will eventually do. In this episode, she was a fun counterpoint to the team, and I like that she's stuck with them now. The one spoiler I'll steal ahead of time is people calling Maj'el a Vulcan Sixth Ranger. I'm here for that title.

At the same time, I'm loving what they're doing with Rok and giving her space from the others. It's a great arc for her that she wants to go through the channels to join Starfleet to the point where she's at odds with the rest of the team. It's interesting that now her problem is too much conformity after spending last season proving that she didn't have to be typecast as the Big Guy. I'm excited for whatever she's going to do.

Gwyn's also back now, and doing some very cool things on Solum. I like that she tries to do first contact, but Ascencia already got there. Ascencia is a fun villain, and I'm glad she's back in a meaningful capacity. I also like that Gwyn still goes to the younger version of her father after everything. There are a few ways this storyline can go and all of them are extremely compelling.

And we have Dal, Zero, Jankum, and Maj'el going to the future together. This is a fun use of time travel, a fun storyline, and a great way of getting them into it. I like that it's an accident and that they weren't trying to do it. It'll be fun to watch them try to resolve that even after they get back. The timeline here is also incredibly twisty in a way that I like. It does make me think I should revisit season 1 to remind myself how it worked there, and I'll probably do that, but I'm on board.

I'm realizing how much I'm probably missing because I haven't seen season 1 since Paramount tried to memory hole it, so I'm going to go watch some of it and then maybe share some more opinions.

[frecklenog]

after spending an evening listening to jessie gender tell me about starfield, capitalism, gender, selfhood, and ursula k leguin, i had. some Thoughts about another science fiction series; one you're probably at least somewhat familiar with if you follow this blog or watch ms gender's videos.

to start off; hey. this is partially based on my own experiences, my understanding of them, and how that lens can be applied to star trek. it's also very much inspired by the work of jessie earl, whose channel i can't recommend enough. she's funny, intelligent, kind, and an incredibly gifted writer, and she's a gift to both the star trek, trans, and "video essay youtuber" communities. show her some love!

that said, i want to start by looking at star trek. we all know the vulcans, don't we? pointy ears, green blood — spock's dad's side of the family. gifted with telepathic abilities, vulcans are practitioners of the mind meld, also called things like a mind link, probe, touch, or fusion, which is exactly what it sounds like. it allows two (or more, on occasion) sentient life forms to exchange thoughts as though they were one being.

of course, this kind of thing is common in media. steven universe has gem fusions, which should be examined from a plural viewpoint in their own right. x-man charles xavier almost routinely delves into the minds of others. but rarely does it have any lasting impact on the characters. even star trek itself falls into this, with doctor leonard mccoy not getting nearly enough screentime in the voyage home to show off what must have been the intensely strange experience of carrying spock's katra within him. (maybe that's addressed in a novelization or comic that i'm just unaware of, but regardless, i haven't seen it, and i think that's a travesty. (and if you know of a book where that gets touched on oh my god give me the fucking link now-))

there are instances of star trek mind melds having lasting effects, as discovery shows part of sarek's katra being permanently linked to michael burnham, though that could be considered an extenuating circumstance, what with her being on death's doorstep at the time of the meld. which most trek fans probably already know, and is honestly more fantastical than i care to bother reading with a plural lens. however, star trek is a fandom with nearly sixty years of history, including hundreds of books and comics from various authors and publishers. these stories are plentiful, bizzare, and sometimes outright terribly written. i don't blame anyone for not having read them all — to do so seems like a terrifying task.

but the one i want to look at right now is a particular run of the star trek: the next generation comic, published in 2000 by wildstorm comics.

the run is called perchance to dream — a lovely, flourishing name for a comic where half of the plot could be it's very own jessie gender video for how much sexual weirdness goes on (but i'll leave that to the professionals). the part we're going to focus on is that the b-plot of the run surrounds captain jean luc picard, captain of the uss enterprise-d. the comic is set after the events of the star trek: the next generation season 3 premiere, best of both worlds: part 2. in that episode, the captain had been disconnected from the borg hivemind (after being assimilated in part 1), and he returned to duty as usual at the end of the episode (though he does choose to go on leave in the following episode). it's also set after another episode from later on in season 3, — episode 23, sarek, wherein picard preformed a mind meld with sarek in order to allow the aging ambassador better emotional control, as it was being ravaged by his bendii syndrome — essentially, vulcan dementia.

the a-plot of the run isn't really important to us, i'm afraid — although it reveals to us in the second issue that worf accidentally killed a kid on another soccer team as a child. suffice to say, one of the abilities of the aliens the crew has to play diplomacy with is that they can prod into people's traumas through their nightmares. they have a lot going on. it's a comic book from 2000, what did you expect?

and, speaking of things that are easily dated, the third issue of the run brings us to the second part of today's topic.

image id: a comic book page. beginning at the top, a narration box reads: "chief medical officer's log, stardate 48503.8. lieutenant commander data, doctor selar, and i have gone through the damiano [alien] records regarding the chova. while no direct way to combat the weapon was ever developed we have discovered that certain people were immune to the chova's effects and could destroy the weapon." doctor beverly crusher is beside the narration box, depicted from the shoulders up, facing slightly to the right and saying "there has to be another way." a vulcan -- doctor selar -- is viewed from the waist up, holding a padd in her right hand and facing to the right of the page. she is saying "we have been over the records six times a piece, doctor. if there is anything to find, it is likely that we would have found it by now." data, an android designed to appear as a human with pale yellow plastic skin, is holding a book slightly behind doctor selar. his mouth is slightly open as he speaks. "i believe doctor selar is correct. this is the only course of action open to us under the circumstances." to the right of this panel is another shot of beverly from the shoulders up, this time facing to the left. her expression is stern as she says "i know, i know, it's just-- it could kill him." in the next panel. beverly is shown from the back, and captain jean-luc picard enters, saying "you sent for me, doctor?" beverly responds, "yes, jean-luc. please sit down." below this, the left panel takes most of the remaining page. this time we see captain picard from the back, while beverly faces the reader head-on, speaking first. "we've gone through the records chief du're [irrelevant one-off character from the a-plot] provided. it turns out that there was one group of people who were immune to the chova when it was first used. mpd's." jean-luc repeats "mpd's?" curiously. to the right, data is shown from the shoulders up, saying; "mpd stands for multiple personality disorder. mpd can come about through psycholo--" but beverly interrupts him; "not now, data." end id.

ah, multiple personality disorder. a term that hasn't been clinically used since 1994. these days, we call this dissociative identity disorder (did), but it's one dissociative disorder of many, which is what beverly is talking about. for whatever reason, people with this sort of dissociative plurality seem to be immune to the specific trauma nightmares induced by these aliens. (finally, some good news.)

okay, neat! so, dissociative disorders and plurality have been canonically addressed in star trek. let's see how it goes!

image id also available unbroken in alt text. image id pt 1: beginning in the top left corner, beverly is shown from the shoulders up, facing the right side of the page as she speaks. "the point is the people who are afflicted with more than one personality would destroy the chova before it could affect them. the chova was only built for one personality. mpds would literally overwhelm it." in the next panel, to the right, picard is shown from the chest up, partially obstructed by speech bubbles. facing right, he asks; "how does this help us?" beverly is also in this right panel, although from behind, and nearly completely obfuscated by speech bubbles. she answers; "well, mpd was never a common occurance, and it's almost unheard of these days.there've only been two cases reported in the federation in the last two hundred years -- and damiano [the alien planet] hasn't seen a case in the last fifty."beverly continues. "however, we do have someone on the enterprise who has the makings of a classic mpd. i'd like your permission to ask this person to volunteer to undergo a mind-meld with doctor selar in order to bring the submerged personalities to the fore."

this particular line, i take umbrage with, as dissociative disorders are a lot more common than people might think, and star trek has shown us a future as tumultuous as our own present for decades. there would absolutely be people experiencing some level of multiplicity in everyday life both within the federation and without. but, again, this was written in the 90s, i think? i don't know how long it takes a team of professionals to make a comic book. but, i digress.

image id pt 2: picard responds; "permission granted, as long as it remains on a volunteer basis. who is the officer in question?" below, the leftmost panel is larger than the right. beverly crusher is shown in profile, facing right, with doctor selar and data behind her from the chest and shoulders up. picard is on the right of the page, slightly smaller, but also in profile, facing right to contrast beverly as he listens to her speak. "it's someone who's been exposed to an especially intense vulcan mind-meld, who lived another life for thirty-five subjective years— and who had a second personality grafted onto his own for a brief period by the borg. the next panel takes the entire width of the page, and much of the height. picard is shown in the middle, standing in a purple void. around him are three other male characters shown in bust. from left to right, they are; kamin, a humanoid man bearing great resemblance to an older imagining of jean-luc picard, wearing a plain blue shirt. sarek, a vulcan with grey hair, a turquoise shirt, and a green stone amulet on a large gold chain around his neck. he is cast in shadow and his eyes are not visible. locutus, an ashen version of jean-luc picard, with about a third of his face obscured by black metal exoplating and implants that surround his right eye. tubes come off of his face and neck, trailing behind him, and a red light made to shine at his point of focus shines from the side of his head. there are several yellow narration boxes, which read as follows. "sarek of vulcan. picard mind-melded with the legendary ambassador in order to lend him strength for an important negotiation — an act that almost cost picard his sanity." "kamin of kataan. a probe sent out by kataan before their sun went nova allowed picard to live most of kamin's adult life as a way to remember his people."

oh, yeah. did... did i not mention that that happened?

basically, he was targeted by a device that beamed him into the world's most immersive vr game — kind of like the one from rick and morty? if you watched that? if you didn't, sorry for bringing it up, and if you did, ditto. but it forced picard to live out an entire life as though he'd been abducted by aliens and placed in a sims game. though, ultimately, the plot intricacies of the inner light are beside my point.

image id pt 3: "locutus of borg. quite simply, the greatest nightmare of picard's entire life. the subversion of his intellect, his will, his very self to the collective of the borg." "all three are part of him, but they do not dominate. if picard does as doctor crusher suggests, he will subsume himself in order to let the others come to the fore. for sarek, for kamin, he would be willing." "but locutus--?" the next panel takes a little more than half of the remainder of the page. a narration box in the upper left reads; "then he thinks of his first officer, counselor, chief of security, chief engineer, and all the others who have fallen victim to this vicious weapon." the rest of the panel shows two sleeping figures, both humanoid, in what is presumably sickbay. the last panel takes the remainder. a narration box in the upper left reads; "and jean-luc picard makes the only decision he is capable of making." captain picard is shown from the shoulders up, facing slightly to the left and saying; "what do i need to do?" below his speech bubble is another yellow text box, which reads "to be concluded..."

...which is how issue 3 leaves us.

fortunately, we can pick up in issue 4 with ease, since these comics are over twenty years old. i'm going to do my best to limit my use of comic pages, juuuuust in case, but once we reach the sixth page, with the credits...

image id: a two-page spread. beginning in the uppermost left corner, narration boxes read; "welcome to the mind of jean-luc picard." "'locutus' was a personality superimposed upon picard when he was taken by the borg, meant to serve as the spokesperson for that cybernetic race's ruthless assimilation of what they described as the 'authority-driven culture' of the federation." "ambassador sarek of vulcan suffered from bendii syndrome. in order to keep the effects of this devastating illness from endangering his final mission, sarek entered into a deep mind-meld with picard in order to give the ambassador emotional control and stability." "kamin was a prominent member of the community of ressik on the long-dead world of kataan. a probe sent by the kataan people allowed picard to live kamin's life for several subjective decades, although less than half an hour passed in reality." "all of these personalities have made up a part of jean-luc picard, but he remained dominant." "until now." "this is the mind of jean-luc picard." the left page is mostly taken up by a large illustration of locutus, drawn in far more detail than before. trailing off to the right are two tubes or wires, as well as a speech bubble that reads "resistance is futile." also on this page are the details of the comic title, run, issue number, writers/artists, and copyright. taking up most of the right half of the right page is sarek of vulcan, drawn in less detail than locutus, but easily recognizable. his hair is a lighter grey, he is wearing white and cream robes and an amber amulet on a thick gold ring around his neck, and he is holding up his right hand in a vulcan salute/ta'al. depicted below sarek is kamin, drawn from the shoulders up, wearing a plain white shirt with a collar. below kamin is captain picard, also shown from the shoulders up, in his starfleet uniform, and surrounded by four lights, with two on either side of him. (there is also further copyright information beside him in fine print.)

...i'm pretty sure that this analysis falls under the "commentary" part of fair use. right?

but, regardless, this is kind of a huge thing to drop in a comic that virtually no one has bothered to read. i mean, especially when, amidst the clashing of picard's plurality with the a-plot, we get this panel;

image id: a single comic panel. kamin is shown from behind, speaking to locutus and sarek within a noneuclidean space with four circular white lights shining in the distance. "what is going on?" kamin asks. "we have been subdued for too long. but now we shall dominate, as we were meant to." locutus replies. sarek interrupts. "your logic is flawed, locutus. we are all merely aspects of jean-luc picard's mind." "you may be sarek of vulcan, but we are of the borg."

sarek is able to acknowledge himself, kamin, and locutus as "aspects" of captain picard, despite picard rarely if ever sensing them or their influence. picard is being, not just implied, but explicitly stated to have a latent form of plurality, and perchance to dream depicts it in a way that strikes true to members of my own system, at times, with certain alters first making themselves known in the front already well aware of who they are, and having existed without the my knowledge due to dissociative barriers that only came down later in life.

unfortunately, because this is a star trek media, locutus ends up assimilating kamin in the headspace and forcing himself into the front. however, as he does it, he says something that does, to an extent, resonate with the experience of being one among many, for better or worse.

image id: a single comic panel. locutus is shown facing the viewer, and his chin and the top of his head are cut off by the borders of the panel. his light breaks the plane of the panel to simulate the effect that it is shining into the "camera." locutus's mouth is open as he speaks; "for too long you have suppressed us, picard. but you are of the borg."

plurality is a defense mechanism by the brain to protect against trauma. it is, from what i have seen, more common among those who are already neurodivergent, which already presents in a myriad of ways. mixing the ugly truth of trauma with the raw reality of mental illness caused by it can result in certain alters feeling as though they are being suppressed by not being allowed to front and live their own life, depending on how the system functions. admittedly it is more common in fictional depictions of dissociative disorders for these alters to simply live their own lives in secret anyway, as is the case in the marvel tv series moon knight with marc spector, steven grant, and jake lockley (along with the other possible members of their system who may or may not be present depending on the canon, but those are the main three). but, in reality — or at least my experience — this more often translates to alters making themselves social media accounts, or using services like tupperbox or pluralkit on discord, or finding other ways to more discretely express themselves, such as icon changes or status updates.

but, getting back to star trek, this is ultimately a one-off comic. so captain picard saves the day with his secret alters, ends the mind meld with doctor selar, and goes back to living his life as a singlet, ready for the people of the future to be able to easily comprehend without having to read a very specific comic run from 2000.

...right?

image id: part of a comic page. each panel takes up roughly one quarter of the page each. in the first panel, counselor deanna troi is seen standing, having just entered captain picard's ready room. picard is shown from the back, sitting at his desk. "counselor! good to see you up and about." he greets her. "it's good to be up and about." she responds. "playing some old tunes?" [picard had been playing the ressikan flute prior to her entry.] picard responds. "mmm. i wanted to make sure that i still remembered how." in the next panel, we look over counselor troi's shoulder and across the desk at captain picard. "were you worried that you wouldn't?" she wonders. "actually, yes," picard answers. "after what happened..." the third panel shows picard facing the viewer head-on from the shoulders up. he continues, "i suppose i knew intellectually how close to the surface locutus, sarek, and kamin were. but i never really thought about it. they were — memories, experiences. no different from any other. but they're much more than that." the fourth panel shows counselor troi, facing slightly to the right as she speaks. "not much more. all three of them are part of you. but the important word is you. the fragmentation was artificially induced." picard asks; "was it?"

ultimately, yes, this is a one-off comic run that isn't very well known, and i only read because i took a personal interest in the subject matter. i knew going in that it wasn't going to fundamentally change the entire fandom's understanding of captain picard, or make the star trek fandom an instant haven for systems everywhere. but, still, captain picard has his doubts, and that truly touched me when i first read it as someone who was actively reckoning with the fact that past traumas that had impacted me more than i realized.

the comic goes on for a while longer, but the last thing it has to say on the subject of plurality is this.

image id: a single comic panel. counselor troi is seated in one of the chairs in captain picard's ready room, facing him from across his desk. she is on the left, facing partially right, and he is on the right, in profile facing left. the dialogue reads as follows. picard wonders, "was it [the dissociative fragmentation of his identity] truly a creation of the mind-meld, or was it simply breaking a dam that was already cracked?" riker interrupts over the comm. "riker to picard." "go ahead, number one," picard tells him. "it's time to beam down to damiano for the ceremony, sir." "thank you, commander."

and that's it. picard asks a question, then gets called away and never tells us his answer.

i think, at least subconsciously, that might be part of why i held star trek: picard to such a high standard.

to be clear, i hadn't read this comic when the first season of picard was coming out. but i was starting to grapple with my plurality, and i used fictional media as a means to do that (as is still evidenced by things like my system simon tag). the first season of the show was centered around both picard's relationship with both his legacy and his history with the borg collective. as mentioned in perchance to dream, captain picard had previously been assimilated by the borg collective — a cybernetic hivemind from the delta quadrant that absorbed cultures and species into itself, effectively wiping out the cultural histories of entire planets, at times, in their quest to become the "perfect" life form through a combination of genetic engineering and mechanical augmentation. and, as this happened, i came to know a young man named hugh who took form within my mind. a fictional introject, or fictive, of the character of the same name from season 5, episode 23, i, borg. with his help, i grew to further understand my own plurality, and saw the potential for our stories to be told in the wake of reclamations from the borg collective. the reclamation project became a hyperfixation, and—

and then came the jurati collective.

my own system bears no connection to the jurati collective, but it is a wonder, and can be examined through a plural lens as an allegory for our own experiences as dissociatives. many consciousnesses, all working together as one towards a common goal, and willingly. after all, what is a system if not a hive within one body?

and then came picard's third season, completely ignoring her, along with all the unique perspectives that stories surrounding her might have offered in favor of what felt like a final next generation movie.

ignoring me, it felt like.

is that silly? probably. but, try as i might, i am human, and so i have a propensity for illogic — no matter how much my autistic brain craves structure and definitive explanations in order to understand the world.

i'll be honest, i'm not sure how to end this. but, sometimes i remember the time in season 6, episode 20, the chase, when picard became incredibly excited about an ancient alien society that believed people were, indeed, collectives within themselves.

"...the kurlan civilisation believed that an individual was a community of individuals. inside us are many voices, each with its own desires, its own style, its own view of the world." -captain jean-luc picard

and i realize that, with the core tenant of this series lying in the infinite diversity of both the known and the unknowable — the building blocks are already in place. star trek is a media that has grown over the decades, and hopefully will continue to do so, because there are still so many ways for new and interesting and meaningful stories to be told within this franchise.

but, if you can't summon your representation from a nostalgiabait sequel/reboot within a preexisting intellectual property... there's nothing to stop you from crafting your own story and letting loose as many systems as you like.