#I'm sorry but YOU are the only one upset here

[rubberduckyrye]

Okay in all seriousness. There's something that I REALLY want to talk about as an open discussion with the fandom, but. This is not going to be a very nice thing to hear/talk about.

It's about how Gonta is treated by the fandom.

As a fan of all the V3 characters now, and as someone who has always been a fan of Gonta, and as someone who has many mental disabilities and two diagnosed neurodivergancies... I'm tired of playing nice about it.

You all need to stop being ableist towards Gonta.

I've mentioned in the past that I don't like shitting on personal interpretations. I don't like saying something is or is not canon because narration is just a big web of text that you try to decipher with your own personal biases, experiences, and thoughts. That's why two literary analysts analyzing the same text with the same literary criticism rules can come to wildly different conclusions--why people develop different headcanons from the same canonical information.

But one of the things that challenged my integrity is just how many people view Gonta as this innocent, naive, ignorant, baby boy who can do no harm/never has a complicated/dirty/violent/sexual thought in his life ever.

This incredibly ableist interpretation of the character bothered me for, well, obvious reasons (See: It's fucking ableist, need I say more?) but I never challenged it as harshly as I am now because to be frank, it's not my place to tell people how to HC a character. It still isn't. But I've pretty much given up on my integrity on the subject and have decided to go all in on discussing why this interpretation of Gonta is just. Really bad.

First of all, not to promote my own analyses here or anything, but I think this analysis I did of Gonta explains a LOT in regards to the ableism the cast gives him in canon. I also think that this subtle ableism is why the fandom is so bad with Gonta's characterization in headcanons and fanfic--because they've seen how the cast treats him, and they think it's normal. They don't see the microaggressions, they don't see the subtle ableism in the cast--they just see this big giant idiot who speaks like Tarzan in the English version (which... I don't actually know why people assume Tarzan (Thinking of Disney's version) is stupid. Like as a boy he had to reinvent the spear with no one to guide him on how to do it. He was able to strategize and outsmart "civilized" men in the final showdown. Still I digress) and don't see the literal genius behind his social awkwardness.

There is also another very important point I'm going to make in addition to this, and it's going to be very uncomfortable to Gonta fans who insist he's nothing but a sweet baby who only has pure thoughts. Especially to the fans who insist he "can't be sexual" or think it's weird to ship him with his peers.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but... Gonta blatantly has sexual desire and gets horny right in canon.

This is further clarified here:

It wasn't a matter of Gonta didn't want to touch her because touching someone in their underwear was inappropriate, or being flustered because she was in her underwear which is inappropriate...

It was literally a "weird feeling" that made him unable to approach her or touch her. A "weird feeling" that Miu makes pretty obvious as to what it was--sexual arousal.

He literally was sexually attracted to and felt sexual arousal from looking at Miu in her underwear. He had sexual feelings and thoughts about Miu. Why?

Because Gonta is a young man.

Gonta is a brilliant, talented young man who has normal human thoughts for someone his age--sexual desires, upsetting thoughts, complicated thoughts, ectect. He is not a child, he is not mentally stunted (I've been informed that people have literally said this on Ao3 for the NSFW Gonta fics, please for the love of god stop that)

I think the reason why Gonta fans typically want to keep him as a "pure baby child who can do no wrong" is because treating him like the young adult that he is makes it harder for them to justify Chapter 4. Every time I've seen a Gonta fan that hates Kokichi, it's always followed by the sentiment of "Kokichi manipulated and abused Gonta into killing Miu, so it's all Kokichi's fault." They're afraid of nuance and liking a character with the grey morality of genuinely thinking Mercy Killing the cast is a viable option, because it challenges their own morals about the character they adore.

To those people who read this and are upset: You can and should like Gonta! Gonta is a magnificent character who showcases the subtle way microaggressions can manifest and hurt people, he's a good-hearted person and a literal genius, he cares deeply for his friends and loves everyone with upmost sincerity.

But.

You need to re-evaluate your stance on Gonta if you think he's a stupid, naive fool who Kokichi manipulated. You need to re-evaluate why you think those thoughts, why you think Gonta being shipped with anyone is "Kinda weird" or "has weird consent problems" or "give you the ick." You have to challenge yourself and ask yourself uncomfortable questions in regards to why you treat Gonta like a child when canon has proven otherwise, why you think he cannot have violent or sexual thoughts, why he can't think mercy killing his class is the only way to save them.

This isn't an attack on you--but understand that these specific takes on Gonta? They are ableist in nature. They belittle and dismiss him, they treat him like a child, an idiot who can't think for himself--and you have to come to terms with the fact that Gonta is a far more complex character with complicated thoughts and feelings who is a young adult. Not a child. A young adult.

So again, ask yourself this: Why are you treating this young adult like he's a toddler?

[shakey-loves]

I'm Sorry...

@blythebewitched @blues-of-randomness pls don't kill me.

Warning: Blood, Very sad.

Kickin did his best to not cry as he gently swaddled Riot in a blanket. “C-come on, baby. You have to g-get better. Get better for Daddy, please.” He whispered as the small chick continued to cough up blood. “J-just hold o-out until Papa gets home. P-please.” He begged, holding Riot as close as he could without hurting him. Moving to lay down in bed, Kickin could do nothing but silently sob, hoping, praying for Riot to be okay.

After what seemed like days, Bubba finally walked in through the front door. “H-honey. I’m home.” Looking in the playpen, he immediately noticed something was wrong. Sparky was comforting Rave while Dusk was doing the same with Mari. Bow, Rocky, and Ben also looked worried. But, where was Riot? “Kickin? Where are you?” He could quiet crying coming from somewhere inside the house. “Are you in the bedroom? The bathroom?”

“B-bedroom.” Upon walking inside, Bubba saw Kickin under the blankets, the chicken obviously distressed and crying. “What happened? Where’s Riot? The kids look upset, did someone get hurt?” Walking up to place on his husband’s shoulder, Bubba froze at the sight of Riot silently crying with blood coming out of his beak. Tears were absolutely pouring from Kickin’s eyes as he tried to calm the crying chick with quiet whispers and kisses.

“Wh-What happened?!” Bubba exclaimed in shock as Kickin sat up. “I-I t-tried to take e-everyone to the park. But as soon as everyone stepped outside, they turned back into plastic eggs! I freaked out and stepped on Riot’s egg! It was an accident, I swear, Bubba!” Kickin cried, holding Riot closer. Bubba shook his head and quickly held his arms out for Riot. “Whatever, just give him here! If we can’t take him to the hospital, I’ll look at him myself. What are his symptoms?”

Kickin handed Riot, who let out a quiet cry from the movement. “He’s b-been coughing up blood, and o-one of his legs is bending the wrong way.” Unwrapping Riot, Bubba immediately got to work putting the small leg in a splint, apologizing to the chick whenever he cried, and took out a stethoscope to listen to his lungs.”...It doesn’t sound good. Not good at all.”

Kickin felt like he was going to be sick. Those were the very last words he wanted to hear. “H-he’s not going to be okay?” Bubba couldn’t turn around, knowing he’d cry as well if he looked at Kickin. He silently shook his head as he wrapped Riot back up, wiping the blood from his mouth and beak with tissues. “He’s taken a lot of damage. And we can’t take him to the hospital, and I can’t do much else. The only thing we can do is be there for him.”

Handing Riot back, Bubba went to get the kids. “I’ll get the kids. They seemed really upset when I came in.” Bubba said, leaving the two chickens alone. Tears began to pour again as Kickin did his best not to hyperventilate. “I’m so sorry, baby. I never meant to.” Riot weakly chirped as he raised a feathered arm for Kickin. Bubba walked back in with the other chicks and calves, each one letting out a chirp or trumpet upon seeing their brother and father.

“Alright everyone, be careful. Riot isn’t feeling too good.” He explained sadly, letting everyone onto the bed. Crowding around him, Riot moved to be with his siblings, but Kickin stopped him. “No no, sweetie. You can’t play. It’s getting late.”

Getting everyone settled, Riot was laid down in the middle as everyone snuggled around him for bed. Kickin refused to let go of Riot completely, leaving one around him as tears still spilled out of his eyes. “Kickin….this isn’t your fault. You didn’t want this. I know that.” He said, moving a hoof to rest on top of Kickin’s hand. At this point, he’d lost his battle, tears pouring from his own eyes. “Y-You would never hurt him on purpose.”

Kickin continued to cry silently, watching as Riot’s coughing finally stopped, only hearing little breathing from him and the others. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, shutting his eyes.

Later on as everyone sleep within each other’s warmth

Riot took his last breath.

[turtlesunshineheart]

Pairing: HumanAlastor x FemReadear

A/N:I realized that I didn't like the way of narrating in the previous chapter so I will narrate it in the same way as Helly Paradise

C.2

Promises

-April 1, 1924-

Today would be the day that the irritating man from the other day would come to pick up his jacket, so she had been in a bad mood all day.

Helen had gone to deliver some of the clothes and buy things they needed so she was completely alone.

She was sitting behind the counter listening to the usual radio broadcast. The presenter's voice was the only thing that made that day not so unpleasant.

A few days had passed since Noah had started courting her and she felt surprisingly happy, her grandmother was even happier than her.

Although she worries about her parents, she hasn't told them anything about Noah or that she was working, and she honestly hasn't spoken to them since she moved in with her grandmother.

She sighed in frustration and ran her hands over her face.

The door to the store opened and she acted naturally trying to smile.

The man from the other day entered the store.

This day couldn't be worse

"Good afternoon dear, I came to pick up my coat"

The man looked at her with a mocking smile on his face and she looked at him with half-closed eyes while still smiling.

"In a moment sir"

She went to the warehouse where all the clothes were hanging and looked for the red jacket.

She took the coat to go back to the store.

She abruptly threw his coat on the counter.

He looked at her with displeasure and left the money on the counter.

"Thank you for your kindness, miss."

He made fun of her and then left the store

"Oh, I can't stand it, well at least I won't have to see him again."

☆•••••★•••••☆•••••★•••••☆•••••★•••••☆

-April 3, 1924-

The man had returned and this time he left a red jacket and vest.

Just when she was beginning to believe that he would not return, although it was truly a great benefit that this man came to the store because he paid a little more than the price.

The guy was an idiot but at least he made the same amount of money as mending two clothes and mending just one.

And things began to change

-April 9, 1924-

"So sweetheart, you can't go out with me this week."

Noah had gone to the store to visit his partner and try to convince her to go out with him.

"I'm sorry but I'm really busy and although Helen helps me a lot I can't leave all the work to her"

Noah's gaze drifted to the clothes hanging behind his girlfriend and he clenched his fists, he recognized those coats very well.

"That guy came again"

His voice was an irritated whisper as he thought about him, there was something about that guy that he didn't like.

She followed her boyfriend's gaze and sighed.

"Yes, well, he hasn't stopped coming."

He felt really upset, that guy was taking up his girlfriend's time and she couldn't spend time with him.

"So that's why you can't go out with me, you care more about that guy's clothes."

He claimed, trying to stay calm.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"It's my job, I'll go out with you later, I already told you."

Noah was about to protest when the door opened, he looked back at the door and rolled his eyes when he saw that guy enter.

"Good afternoon sir, I will bring your clothes in a moment."

The man nodded and approached the counter to wait. He didn't even look at him, which made Noah even more upset.

She came back with some clothes and placed them on the counter.

"Here are your clothes, sir."

Noah noticed that she was smiling at that guy when she had been complaining about him days before.

"Thank you dear"

He left money on the counter and said goodbye to her before leaving the store.

"Have a nice day"

She noticed that Noah was looking at her with annoyance.

"And what's wrong with you?"

Noah forced a smile.

"Nothing, it's just that I don't understand why you're suddenly nice to him if a few days ago you were complaining about him."

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Well my parents raised me very well and I guess the guy is not an idiot"

Noah laughed bitterly and raised an eyebrow.

"And you expect me to believe that"

She frowned and looked at him confused.

"What are you trying to imply?"

Noah shrugged, trying to hide his jealousy.

"I'm not going to stand your jealousy so you can go because I'm busy."

Noah didn't say anything and left the store angrily, slamming the door.

-April 13, 1924-

She was waiting for a lady to come pick up her clothes so she could close but it seemed like the lady was going to take a long time to come.

The door opened and he thought the lady had finally come but it was just Noah. Days had passed since their argument and they had not spoken to resolve things.

"Hi sweetheart

Noah approached and tried to take her hand but she pushed it away.

"What do you want, I'm working"

Noah sighed and looked into her eyes.

"I know I acted like a child throwing a tantrum but it's just that we haven't spent time together and that bothers me."

She sighed and let him take her hand.

"I know but you didn't have to imply those things, I plan to be with you and besides he's not my type."

Noah smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Then you won't leave me"

She laughed lightly and shook her head.

"Of course not, I plan to be with you my whole life."

He brought his lips together to kiss her.

"You promise"

She caressed his cheek and nodded.

"I promise"

────・:✧∙✦∙✧:・────

-April 14, 1924-

"Let me see if I understand, you're asking me to tear your clothes so you can take them to the store of the girl you love."

A man behind the bar questioned him

"Love is a strong word, I would say I'm only interested in that woman."

The man looked at him with a face of, are you kidding me?

"For God's sake, Alastor, just approach her like a normal person and invite her to dinner or something."

Alastor rolled his eyes.

"Oh my god, why hadn't I thought of that, thank you Husk, you're so smart."

Husk snorted in irritation.

"Fuck you Alastor I'm not going to rip your clothes again"

Alastor smiled arrogantly.

"Are you sure Husker?"

Alastor was standing in front of the door of the tailor's shop with his coat missing buttons and visibly torn.

He had just seen that Noah guy come out and felt a slight annoyance wash over him. He knew she was dating him but he could change that.

He entered the store and saw her standing behind the counter, looking really charming and happy.He didn't like that last one because he knew that guy made her happy.

"Hello, how can I help you this time?"

Her sweet voice brought him out of his thoughts and he approached the counter to place his recently damaged jacket and that of his friend who was more damaged.

"Oh dear, don't talk to me like that, you make me feel old, I don't think we are many years apart."

She smiled sadly and apologized.

"I'm sorry, that's how I talk to all my clients, and I don't know your name."

Alastor smiled and took her hand to place a small kiss on her knuckles.

"My name is Alastor, darling."

______________________________________________

Maybe it will only be 10 or 15 chapters so I will try to cover the entire plot very well.

-🐢🌻Ali✨🦋-

[fanthirtheen]

Took a bunch of screen shots guys I'm so excited I have so many fucking feelings right now I am SO sorry for what I am right now.

First of all, I have a story that starts off with this problem:

Also, welcome back kids, I'm excited to see you two working together. Obviously these cherubs are tied up currently, but obviously they team up with DHORKS or whatever they were called. So excited. Probably, Stolas is NOT going to save them this time, something else happens.

A fun guy I.M.P. is probably in that human hotel to hunt down. The cherubs talked like they were hunting down someone from hell. I assumed it was I.MP. for getting them kicked out of heaven, but maybe it's actually this guy? And the "life on the run" line was a diversion.

More Goetia! The parrot! We were told not all Goetia are birds, there's a lynx guy that's cool. And a snake. Imma rewatch this trailer a bunch to get a better idea on who the parrot is and what he wants, I can't tell if riend or foe after one watch.

Here he is talking to Stellas brother, which doesn't exactly solve the issue of who or why.

Stolas, there are so many shots of you being upset! I'm sorry darling I love you but your pain is so important for current plot reasons. Also, the book he's reading I'm pretty sure says "Proud and Beautiful" and looks like a Goetia romance.

More Stolas having a Bad Time (tm). The second is obviously from a new song.

I have more screens hots to add check reblogs for more, or if you see this too soon, give me a minute.

EDIT: this has three parts because I'm on mobile and could only upload 10 pics per reblog.

[foxxsong]

Some people... really should not be running these poll competitions.

[cozylittleartblog]

I want to buy a sticker from your shop, but shipping (to Canada) is down as $22 before tax. May I ask why it costs so much to ship a single sticker? Is it Etsy being weird, or does it really cost that much to send an envelope over the border?

I'm not trying to be snarky or passive aggressive or anything, I'm genuinely just kind of befuddled atm.

A fair question honestly! USPS sets the rates for international shipping, and shipping to canada really is about that expensive 😭 I considered sending stickers via envelopes, but 1. if I send them with a stamp (less than $2) they don't have tracking, and etsy Does Not Like That. I gotta send packages with shipping to qualify for star seller, plus it covers your ass in case USPS loses it. and 2. apparently it's illegal to send merchandise internationally in envelopes!! so sadly we're all stuck dealing with the super crazy international rates. I don't like it either because as someone who deals in trinkets, people generally do not want to pay $16 for a charm that costs $12, and they especially don't want to pay that for a sticker that costs $4... I would ABSOLUTELY have way more international sales if USPS wasn't fucking us with the prices but it's out of my control dssdjkfjksdf

I give this advice a lot, but if you don't want to pay international shipping (or just live in a country I don't ship to myself), you can borrow the address of a friend that lives in the states and they can forward it to you! I don't actually know if this is cheaper, but some people have said it is. it's def cheaper for stickers though if your friend uses a stamp!

TL;DR yeah etsy and USPS are Both Weird, sorry ; - ; i assure you i hate it even More than you do lmao

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

uh oh <- thought too hard about Hum Hallelujah again

[fortune-maiden]

Despite the bitterness, I really love how doting the duke really is towards Penelope T_T

[maddy-ferguson]

i'm not gonna reblog the post but saying that the party was very nice for helping dustin carry and set up cerebro when they didn't believe he had a girlfriend is so funny because like. not believing that your friend got a girlfriend and going on and on about her not being real is already being mean😭

[04tenno]

so why can't mine be bi?

I mean... I would rather people think he's bi than outright deny his attraction to Daigo. If I've ever said he "can't be bi" at any point, it's not because I don't think anyone should be allowed to interpret him as bi, or because him being bi is entirely out of the question. It's because the concept of him being bi is diametrically opposed to my personal analysis of Mine and the concepts his character portrays.

He's asked out by twenty different women (notably, he has never asked a woman out himself and explicitly says he has no interest in doing so) and he never once shows any enthusiasm when he agrees. He goes to hostess clubs and completely ignores the actual hostesses in favor of the men who drag him there, spacing out entirely the rest of the time when they're not talking to him.

He's also one of the only characters who explicitly talks about sex, in that in he says in Japanese he could sleep with as many otherwise desirable women as he wanted (again, emphasis on the number)... within the context of a list of things that he feels should have made him happy, but didn't.

The one and only time he doesn't act like he's being subjected to abject misery when interacting with a woman who's clearly attracted to him is at the end of his Okinawa character story, but that's... not really saying anything. People aren't gay because they've exclusively had bad experiences with dating. In fact, many people realize they're gay because they've had the "ideal" experiences, but still don't feel fulfilled. Which is exactly the sentiment Mine expresses in the finale.

Like… it's not for lack of trying, or lack of interactions with women. At some point it's just no use looking for the "right woman," because the "right woman" is never going to come along for someone who's not attracted to women in the first place. For Mine, the "right person" was Daigo Dojima.

[kosmicfeelings]

I wait for you

;Alex G

[revenantghost]

I fucking hate fireworks

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

[hazelrose3637]

A Semi-Rant About "Barbie"

My mom, sister, and cousin all really love Barbie (2023), and I wanted to love it, too. I was ready for a feminist movie that was really fun.

Well, it was fun. But it also felt meh. Like, they introduced lots of cool concepts, but then didn't go anywhere with them:

-breaking stereotypes

-equality is not "eye for an eye" or "you need to suffer, too" (in regards to patriarchy and "matriarchy")

-generational bonding, especially between mother and daughter

-capitalism

I was also bummed that they didn't include other characters in the Barbie-verse, like Stacey, Kelly, Teresa, or Nikki. (I'm glad there were WOC in the movie, but why couldn't any of them be Teresa or Nikki?)

And then hearing other critiques about it, like the indigenous people comment and how that was tasteless.... Yeah, it was. I'm not gonna defend the director on that. Especially when it was super easy to solve the Barbie/Ken patriarchy conflict and, you know, there's still genocide going on today.

And the "savior" comment from the daughter? Extra yikes.

But then other blogs are saying how the message is so good, but... idk I didn't get that from the movie. I know what it was trying to say, but again, it got lost in the execution. The daughter just embraces Barbie-ness without any character development. She just goes from "Barbie is a fascist" to "okay, this is cute."

And I get Ken is mistreated by Barbie, but the movie made him almost an incel. He tried to force a kiss on Barbie more than once, she makes it clear she's not in love with him but he still pursues her... If they wanted to explore how women and men treat each other, don't make Ken a creep that ignores the word "no."

And why were the corporate guys there? They provide two and a half minutes of conflict, and that's it. The rest of the time, they're a running joke, and a boring one at that.

It has good music ("I'm Just Ken" is a bop), and the visuals are good. But the movie fell flat, like it slowed to a stop right before the finish line. It acted like it was telling a deep and important story, but it was shallow.

Sorry to anyone who loves the film. I really wanted to give "Barbie" a chance. But the cool toy clothes and dances just can't save the half-hearted message.

More ranting in the tags.

[shotmrmiller]

I'm your only situationship.

A/N : yall i stayed up til 324 am writing this. I felt like if i went to bed still only having it as a thought and not on 'paper' thats unacceptable. If i gotta think about this then so do yall! it was also supposed to be a small one shot but it got wildly out of hand im not sorry.

18+ MDNI

TW: typical smut, EXPLICIT mmkay im talkin clutch ur pearls explicit.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Simon had finally come home from a grueling 6-month mission. All he wanted was some Kentucky bourbon with you at your favorite seedy bar. 

Once he was home, Simon cleaned up, put on a black clinical mask, and sent a text to you to meet him there. As he finished his first glass of the night, a rather attractive young woman approached him, asking if she could buy him a drink. 

“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around, lovie?”

“Not at all. This is after all the 21st century. I’m simply asking— wouldn’t want any missus at home getting upset.”

“There’s no one at home for me, lass.”

“Well then, how about you get yourself another glass, my treat, and we’ll see where this night takes us?” 

He slightly nodded —he’d never say no to a free drink— and as she left to order a drink, he took his phone out to text you again.

“C’mon, pet. I’ll cover the tab. Too good f’me, now?”

His phone vibrated a minute later.

“I can’t today, Si.”

“Why not? I know you don’t go out on Sundays.”

As the young woman came back, drinks in hand, he lifted the screen to read your response.

“I’ve got a dick appointment~ It’s been a year and then some and I’m gonna claw at my walls if I don’t get a fix ASAP.”

Simon goes tense— soft blues hardening to a silver and he’s gripping his phone so hard it might crack. He pulls up your contact and calls you within seconds.

“Hiya, Si!” 

“What the fuck is a dick appointment?”

“Oh,” you giggle. “I forget you older folk don’t know ‘bout that. It’s just a one-night fling. No commitments or nothin'.’ Exactly what I need right now.” You don’t tell him that the reason you’ve practically regrown your hymen is that when you’re best friends with Simon, every other male in existence pales in comparison. 

“Anyway Si-, he’s getting here in like an hour-”

“No.” And hangs up. 

The young woman who’s casually rubbing his bicep and shoulder gets practically flung off of him, as he gets up off the bar stool so fast it’s falling back with a loud clang, and he’s yanking his leather jacket on and pulling on his leather gloves so hard they’re about to become fingerless—

“Hey! I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend?!”

One gloved hand gripping the front door, he turns his head slightly to her and says, “Pet, with how good I’m gonna fuck her, she won’t even have to ask to know she’s mine.”

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

You’re standing in the bathroom with your liquid eyeliner in one hand and phone in the other, staring at the ended call screen. ‘Weird,’ you think, then shrug and put the phone down. ‘Maybe the call got dropped.’

You finally complete the look with your false lashes when there’s a very hard knock on your door. You frown as you look at your phone screen. ‘7:14 pm’. You know the guy said at 8 and you’re in one of Simon’s big shirts he always forgets and your hair is still tied up in an oversized pink and white polka dot scrunchie— The pink leopard print booty shorts you’ve got on will suffice. 

The second time there’s a knock it’s even louder. 

“Jesus Christ, I’m coming!” 

You open the door and say, “I’m sorry I took so long, I—”

Simon flies past you, with a rough shoulder bump and you turn to look at him and he’s almost sprinting to the bedroom, slamming the door open—

“Simon, what the fuck? What’re you doin—”

“Where is he?”, he snarls.

“Who?! Are you talking about my date? He’s not getting here til 8! And why’re you slamming doors in my apartment like you pay my rent?!”

You see Simon deflate immediately at the important part of your answer and chooses to ignore the rest as he takes off his jacket and walks to your hall closet to hang it. Closing your door and locking it, you growl out,

“You need to leave. I haven’t even finished getting ready. I promise I’ll—”

“No, pet.”

“Will you quit interrupting me! Simon, I swear—”

“Pet.” 

You’re holding a scream behind your teeth, about to rip the hair out of your scalp when you see Simon take one loop of his mask off from around his ear and then the other. You gape. You’ve seen Simon without his mask— that isn’t the reason you can no longer find your voice. It’s the way he put his gloved middle finger in between his teeth and pulled it off so sensually. You can feel your cheeks and ears radiate heat from just seeing the tip of his pink tongue. Christ, you’re down horrendously.

You open your mouth to say something, anything, to distract yourself from the fact that you’re getting wet over an interaction so chaste when Simon is touching your ass, giving it a hard squeeze, before moving down to the back of your thighs and lifting you up. You startle at the movement and throw your arms around his neck out of habit, hoping he won’t drop you in the move to your bedroom.

He presses you against the wall with his hips, then grabs both of your ankles from behind his lower back and hooks the back of your knees over his forearms. Simon noses your jaw and starts grinding his clothed erection deliciously hard over the definitely wet spot on your shorts and growls out, 

“If you think,” grind “that I’m gonna allow My,” grind “Girl,”  grind—and you whimper in his ear,  “get fucked by some little cock two pump chump,” he gives a forced chuckle, “you must be daft, pet. Or maybe you’re doing it on purpose, eh? Trying to get my attention? Well, you’ve got it now. “ 

He moves his face to hover his lips over yours— you can lightly smell the bourbon he drank earlier— and he whispers, “You ever like this and I’m around, you come to me. And if I’m away, you wait for me like a good girl and when I come back I’ll give this,” he taps your pussy over your shorts, “greedy little cunt all the cock it can take.”

With a shaky breath, you nod before he kisses you, his bourbon-flavored tongue curling against yours, and you’re moaning into it because you’ve wanted this for too long and he’s finally touching you. Curling your fingers into his ash-brown hair, you move your mouth to his neck, to the right of his adam’s apple, took a bit of skin between your teeth and sucked. 

Simon hisses, dips his fingertips into your flesh hard enough to bruise, and all but yanks you off the wall to toss you onto your bed. 

You yelp as you bounce from the force of his throw— you’re still bouncing on the bed when Simon grabs the waistband of your shorts and knickers to pull right off, which you’re grateful for because the grey knickers you got on aren’t what anyone would wear for a first, second nor third impression.

Simon grabs both of the back of your knees with one hand,  goddamn bear paws, you think, before you feel his tongue in between your lips— so warm and wet and fuck, you needed this, needed him— and he flicks his tongue up and down on your clit. He sticks his long middle finger into you and it goes in without resistance, you’re slippery, drooling over his wrist and finger that’s curled up into the rough patch of nerves against your gummy walls, that he’s pressing into, over and over. God you’re about to come, your legs shake in his one-handed hold and you’ve got a white knuckle grip on the forearm you’re sinking your nails into—

Simon pulls away. You were so close, your eyes start watering because he can’t possibly be this mean to you but then you see him shove his tongue in between his middle and ring finger, eating up your nectar when he says, “The first time I’m gonna make you come, it’ll be on my cock. I want to see the frothy white cream you're gonna leave at the base.” 

You’re nodding hysterically at this point, anything for him to make you come, anything for him.  With a twirl of his index, he’s telling you to get on all fours. Scrambling, you turn over and arch your back— resting your head on your forearms— and you feel his calloused palms run down from your spine to your ass cheeks before he gives it a spank. 

“You have a condom?” 

You shake your head and you mewl out, “No, but I’m clean.”

“Good. I don’t want anything between us.”

You arch your back further, pressing your ass further into his hips when you hear his belt buckle clank and zipper open. Simon brings his palm to your other cheek, reddening it. 

“Fuckin’ hell, pet. Look at you spread out for me.” 

You feel warm velvet over steel over your slit before he slowly pushes inside, not all the way but about a little over half of his length, remembering that your g-spot is a little closer to the front. Fast, relatively shallow thrusts hitting your spot with almost clinical precision have you reeling, your orgasm about to break you, mind and body. Hands tightening painfully, you shatter— loud, high-pitched whines, ringing in your ears and pussy pulsing around Simon’s thick girth— and god, Simon doesn’t stop thrusting. He keeps the same smooth rhythm and you’d think he’s unaffected by the tight vice your pussy has him in— but you hear him, low, deep groans and a tighter grip on your hips telling you otherwise. 

He pulls out to bend over your back, completely covering it, and he murmurs in your ear, “I hope you didn’t think we were done. My girl wanted a fuckin’, now she’s gonna get it.” 

He takes off your pink, silly scrunchy and you see it around his tattooed wrist before he grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail and is leaning back up and forcing your back to arch under his pull. You feel his leg at the height of your hips— propped up, foot flat on the bed and knee bent and the other straight on the floor and all you can think of is how this man is gonna kill you with his cock. 

Simon snaps his hips forward, fist full of hair pulling back,  stretching and filling in one strong thrust, bottoming out. He gives you no reprieve, no time to get used to how fucking deep he is, and sets an intense, firm pace that has you feeling a pinch below the navel every time his hip bones slap against your ass, balls to the clit and you love it. Every pinch in your lower belly has your pussy making a squelching sound and you can’t help yourself— you reach underneath your body to feel how split open you are with two fingers, encasing his cock and feeling the skin drag with them as he pulls out.

That has him hissing air between his teeth, he’s about to come but doesn't want it to be over so he pulls out, and opens your cheeks to spit in your furled hole, before pressing in with the pad of his thumb, and you’re almost screaming. He moves back a bit further to spit in your pussy, not that you need it— you’re drenching the sheets underneath you— and now he’s spearing you with his tongue before curling it, getting your juices pooled on it before coming back up, lips smacking, and he grabs your hair in his ponytail and now he uses his other hand to curls his fingers and palm over the front of your throat and that's all it takes for your vision to darken and arms go limp but he’s again, fucking you through your orgasm and this time you leave a creamy white ring at the base of his length. 

“Oh, fuckin hell.” He groans out and it sounds desperate and you know he’s close.

“Come in me, Simon. Please fill me up, I promise I’ll keep it all in.”

He gives a strained chuckle and says, “Pet, I can barely pull out of a driveway much less this tight little cunt.” He squeezes your throat hard, strands of hair popping out of your scalp and his cock feels massive, the pinch in your stomach feels like a cramp from how deep he is and he lets out a low drawn out moan that lasts 3 thrusts— and then there’s warmth filling you up, so much so it leaks from the sides of where you two are connected. Simon lets go of your hair and you fall face-first onto the bed, exhausted. Defeated. Back properly broken. You officially know what it’s like to get fucked within an inch of your life and you love it. 

He pulls out slowly, with a hiss from both of you and with one hand on your left cheek, he spreads you to look at your stuffed hole.

“Fuck. I love seeing me drip out of you.” 

You’re about to tell him to sod off when the doorbell rings and the both of you stiffen and lock eyes. With a mean snarl, Simon grabs a towel from your bathroom and his mask before stomping his way to answer the door, pink obnoxious scrunchy still on his wrist.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗