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uranometrias · 3 months

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wait for your love, spencer reid (pt. 2)

this is the second part to this. tysm for all the love on the first part, as well as all the new follows. this literally took so long, and i'm literally so sorry. i suck, but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. xx

you can read the alternate version for jj right here.

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader | spencer reid x bau! reader | s7 team x bau! reader (platonic)

summary: following the dismissal of the case against the bureau, you're trying to get back into the swing of things. that moment of realization that comes with discovering the love you feel for someone else isn't reciprocates is never fun. but it's a truth you're meant to accept nonetheless, with a bit of help from your dearest friend spencer, you find that through a conversation about the realities of music and their hidden messages getting the courage to move on is not quite as difficult as you might have initially thought. especially when there's someone like spencer reid waiting on the other side. except of course, things always get difficult when it seems now as you're moving on, the past object of your desires is believed to feel the same way you always have.

content warnings: this is the sequel to angst lol. it's still very kind of angsty, but not as bad! it doesn't exactly end with spence/reader running off into the distance together, but i think it has a very bittersweet & sort of hopeful ending, which i felt made the most sense for a storyline like this. sometimes people have feelings for people that don't like them back, and sometimes it's just something we have to deal with.. sad but true. && i didn't want spence to seem like a rebound for reader, so i tried to go the route of her slowly putting the pieces together that maybe spence had romantic feelings for her && going from there. still spencer somewhat confesses his feelings for reader, hints that hotch might actually like reader, jj/reader reconciliation, because it needed to happen soz! she might have feelings for y/n too idk... she's kinda pulling everybody. this feels kinda melodramatic, but also idk i want epic romance vibes so i tried my best xx

i also love how hotch was such a focal part of this story and never physically showed up once... hmm.

tagged the people that asked for part 2 xx

@stvrlitsky , @cocopuff213 , @aaronhotchnerlover , @ofagathachristies , @blurpleuni-squid , @wolf-phoenix-lover , @babyspiderling , @queermaxwooo , @jihyowrrld , @minkyungseokie , @silentjudger , @btskzfav , @barbeddreams , @ah-blossom , @darker-december

It had been about a week since the court proceedings, you'd been more than a little surprised to find that you all managed to walk away scot free. You still hadn't managed to work up the courage to place your resignation papers on Hotch's desk, probably because you still hadn't gotten up the strength to face him or anyone else for that matter. You weren't outwardly abrasive, you'd offer small nods of greeting when you showed up in the morning, waves as you left.

But everyone knew that it wasn't the same.

Penelope had been trying to get you out for a night of bonding with her, Emily, and JJ, and you'd been keen on turning her down. You don't think you were quite there yet, the wound however surface level was still fresh. Looking at Emily, only reminded you of your grief, how much you had missed her. Looking at JJ only reminded you of how she hadn't had the courage necessary to tell you the truth. You'd tried to take their positions into account, look at things through a different view, but it hardly worked. You just wanted to be left alone.

Spencer was still the only one privy to the thoughts you had about ending your career at the FBI, and everyday he seemed to be holding his breath. It had become a habit to catch him staring at you with his face pinched up like he was deep in thought. It was partially why, even as your eyes skimmed over a file, you knew that he was looking in your direction. "Spence." you mutter quietly, eyes not quite meeting his as you highlighted something of importance in blue.

He sits at attention, back straight, eyes wide. He looked like a puppy that'd been caught doing something bad and was waiting for punishment. "You're doing it again." you exhale, and then you finally manage to peel your eyes from your work, eyebrow raising as you take him in tiredly. "Do you need something?" and he bares down on his bottom lip, almost as if he was thinking over his next move. He stands tall, grabbing hold of his chair and tugging it until it was planted on the other side of yours, before he sat down politely.

"Are you okay?" he's talking quietly, likely to salvage a bit of your privacy. You'd become a bit of a walking attraction in the bullpen, everyone seemed to follow every one of your actions with their eyes. You tap your highlighter against your desk, head tipping to the side as you scrutinize the man. You didn't know exactly what was going on with Spencer, but you had a small inkling, it was nothing more than an internal feeling if you were completely honest about it.

Your sister had been asking about him quite constantly lately, and after learning that day in the courtroom that for some odd reason the duo spoke over the phone, it made you pay a bit more attention to the certified genius than before. "I'm fine, Spencer. Just like I was when you asked me yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that." you keep your tone light, not wanting him to think that you were by any means annoyed with him. "What's going on?"

"I guess I keep waiting for you to disappear." he admits, head nodding involuntarily. "You're here right now, and you look fine." he continues, and you like listening to him, even if he was breaking one of the rules, and choosing to profile you. "So shouldn't things feel different? Better at least, like before?" he asks, and you don't expect that. Maybe he wasn't profiling you at all, and instead was expressing himself to a friend. "At least a little bit?" he asks, and you think it over.

"I don't think it'll ever be like before, Spence." and you hate to be the Betty Buzzkill, but it's as true as you can be. "How can it?" and Spencer's eyes jump across the room, landing on Emily who was not so subtly watching the two of you speak. You follow his gaze, and blink harshly when Emily's eyes connect with your own. It forces you to look right back at Spencer. He looks pensive, and you wonder how long he's been working up the courage to say more than 'Are you alright?'

"She was dead... and now suddenly she's not. That's great, but I grieved my friend, and maybe I'm not done grieving the Emily I knew before." and it's the first time you're admitting this aloud. "Our Emily, not the- Interpol Superspy." and you huff. "And look, I know I should be grateful, how many people get back the people they love after death?" and Spencer doesn't answer. "But is she really back? Is she really still our Emily? And how long before she's ready to pack up her stuff and take off? I'm not opening myself up to that again."

Spencer thinks your point is valid, he at one point had insisted that he had the worse abandonment issues on the team, but you had been right there through most of it. You were, in your own way protecting yourself from being hurt again. He couldn't fault you for that, none of them should. "I understand." and truthfully he does, and he's glad that at least you trust him enough to be upfront about it. "There's nothing wrong with shielding yourself from heartache, I just don't want you to close off completely... not from all of us."

You falter, and Spencer hates that he can't just say that he doesn't want you to close off from him. He didn't want this situation to change the way you behaved with him, he couldn't handle losing you.

"I won't." you promise. "And I won't do anything to jeopardize what we do here, I've got enough self control to be civil." you add with a small smile. "I haven't quite decided what a future at the bureau will look like, but I am willing to give things here a chance to get better." and you do love your work, Profiling was something you enjoyed doing, you wouldn't toss it away, unless you absolutely had no other choice. "So you don't have to worry about losing me, Spence." and you hold your breath, mostly because it's a bit audacious on your part.

He offers you a half smile, and you notice the way he visibly relaxes. Still, he doesn't want you to feel obligated to stay somewhere just for his sake, so he feels the need to be honest with you. "I'm not worried." he promises you, and it's a tiny fib, one that could become true if he grew just a touch more confidence. "Even if you did decide to leave one day I would put in the work to keep you in my life." and his smile stretches across his face now, and reaches his eyes. "You're not someone anyone would want to lose." your stomach twists.

"You're not either, Spencer." and you say it firmly, mainly to show just how much you need him to believe it. "I'd just make it my job to take up all your free time outside of work." and his face feels incessantly warm, like he'd stuck his head directly in the stream of scalding shower water. The funny thing about you was that you were oftentimes one of the hardest on the team to read. He figured that because he spent so much time hyper focused on you that he'd get better at it. He still hadn't, and you still managed to leave him stuck.

Comments like the one you just made were common for you, but the meaning behind it always escaped him. Were you flirting with him or were you just being nice? Was it possible that you knew that he had feelings for you? Were you using him as a rebound after the mess you'd found yourself entangled into with Hotch just months ago? The thought of him merely being an emotional rebound made him sad, disappointed, and insecure. But then he's taking in your expression, how despite your confidence you still look shy, and reels it in.

You had never been that sort of person, maybe you were just as oblivious as he was. "I'd be okay with that now." and you look a bit surprised, but also pleased. You nod your head slightly, leaning forward just a little in your seat. Spencer isn't sure if he's moved too quickly, but he's got no room to second guess it now.

"We should do something." it's not at all what he'd expected you to say, and he's surprised, it's more than evident on his face.

"Who? Us? Just the two of us?" he asks, and you find yourself offering him an amused sort of glance.

"Yeah, it could be fun." you insist, and you're not trying to play with his feelings, at least not in the traditional sense. Spencer Reid was no rebound. "It's not often we have days off, you know?" and you lean against your palm, head tipping slightly to the side. "Only if you want." you add, hoping that this addition would make him feel a touch more comfortable. It seems to work, because he untenses just a bit.

"Y-Yeah." he nods his head slightly, hair moving with the action just slightly. "Yeah, we should definitely do something." he agrees, and your smile is bright, clearly pleased at the turn of events. "When would you?" his eyes jump to his watch, and he shakes his head. "Obviously, not right now." he says and you're staring at him a bit bemused, because Spencer Reid was nothing if not a bit unserious.

"There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and you witness Spencer's eyes seem to brighten. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me to look at some vinyls and cd's for my collection, we could just go-" and you're eyebrows are raised, "And see what happens? There's a lot you could do..." you finish, and Spencer's already nodding his head in agreement.

"T-That's..." and he clears his throat, you think to keep you from acknowledging the fact his voice cracked in his nervousness. "Yeah, I don't mind that at all." he agrees politely. "Did you know that in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, record stores only sold gramophone records, but over time they've sold other formats like eight-track tapes, compact cassettes, and compact discs." his hands curl into one another as he relays this message and you snort.

"Did you know that there's a national record store day? It started back in 2008." and he's a bit surprised that you're shooting him a fact of your own, and one that he wasn't actually aware of.

"Really?" he questions, and your eyes sort of crinkle, smile broadening enough to show off both rows of your teeth.

"Don't tell me that I know something the brilliant Doctor Reid doesn't." you tease, and his eyes roll, though his entire demeanor remains lighthearted. "So, what's your poison?" you sidestep, but just barely, your work ignored as you focus all your efforts on keeping this conversation with Reid going.

"My poison?" and his mind of course drifts to alcohol, a bit of a confusing pivot in the conversation. "I don't really see myself as much of a drinker." he admits truthfully, and he's confused when you're laughing, hand flying up to cover your mouth as his face contorts.

"I meant your favorite music genre." you correct. "And I know you're partial to classical," and you try not to stretch your eyes. "It's great when I need to concentrate, but I wouldn't exactly say I'm dying to put on Bach and Tchaikovsky in a regular setting." you explain, both hands resting against your cheeks as you await the hopefully longwinded answer he'd have to give you.

"What if that's my only answer?" he asks, and you scoff.

"It's not." you deadpan, and he exhales through his nose. "I know you and Morgan have that understanding about music..." you explain, head cocked to the side. "He got you to listen to Nas." you remind him as he purses his lips at the reminder. "And Garcia's always sending music recommendations." you proceed as Spencer shoots you a look that clearly reads 'What's your point?'.

"Are you really telling me that out of every genre of music that's ever been released to the entire world, the only genre that's ever stood out to you is the one where old men sit behind a piano and twinkle the keys to their hearts content?" Spencer's releasing another one of those quiet laughs, this one is clearly full of exasperation though.

"I think they're doing a little bit more than twinkling keys." he corrects you, and you know that. You'd only said it to get under his skin just a little, he was fun to mess with. "Classical music is one of the only genres that seemingly does so little and is able to express the full spectrum of human emotion and life experience." he explains, and you fight your smile, leaning in just a bit more to show you were focused. You weren't sure what was happening or if anything was really happening at all, and it was all in your mind.

But you were finding that you didn't mind just listening to Spencer go on and on about whatever he wanted. You thought a lot about what had happened outside of that court room, how he'd listened to you. Really listened to you, and had never once made you feel like the emotional failure you'd imagined yourself to be. You couldn't say that in the span of a week all of your feelings for Hotch had vanished. That'd be bullshit, because deep down you knew it wasn't that easy.

And sometimes you wished it could be, sometimes you wondered why you had to fall for Hotch when Spencer was right there.

Still, whether or not you were being forced to come to grips with the fact that Hotch was not, and wouldn't ever love you the way you loved him, you couldn't deny that it was nice to have a friend there. Spencer wasn't coming to you with heavy confessions and tear-streaked cheeks begging you to look and see that he was perfect for you, which is why you think you like him even more. You knew a lot of times it was hard, rare even to find someone who would just care for you without expecting anything in return. That was Spence to a T.

"Go on." you instruct, and you find that despite the way you'd baited him into this conversation, it was well worth it. He didn't get a lot of time to just be Spencer, and with no clock over your heads, no rush for time to solve a case, you figured it was the least you could do. Especially after he'd spent the last week trying to show you how much he cared.

"I just mean that in classical music, it's actually very common to have one piece of music encompass an entire host of emotions, experiences, and subject matter." he expresses, and you hum, nodding along. "And it's all because most classical pieces use a similar formula that uses textures, dynamic colors and key modulations to express things certain words can't properly articulate." he proceeds. "That's why certain sounds and notes manage to adduce certain reactions." he seems finished.

"Oh, yeah?" you press and he nods limply, seemingly awaiting the moment you offer some jab regarding his oversharing. "I guess Mozart and Beethoven were really onto something." you mutter, and he snorts. "Still, I'd much rather listen to something a bit more obvious." you admit, not that you had a real problem with Classical Music.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I'm just saying... music's always sort of been the perfect tool for expressing everything you might need to say." you counter. "And while I agree that music in any form does a great job of invoking certain emotions, sometimes you don't want to guess what someone means." you admit, and it's partially (mostly) because you had never been good at reading in between the lines. Things always made the most sense when they were plainly spelled out.

"Or maybe that's just a me thing." you correct. "I've found that I always enjoy things when they're a little more laid out... there's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right?" you ask and Spencer's lips curve down into a slight frown. He's not pitying you, mostly just sympathizing with how torn up you must have been about everything. Especially as your eyes instinctively are drawn to the shut doorway of Hotch's office. Spencer thinks that's when reality sets back in and hits him like a brick.

Because he knew something that you didn't. Something that would probably make everything better for you, but would undoubtedly double his heartache. In truth, he, much like everyone else on the team tried their hardest to ignore just how obvious you'd been about your feelings for hotch. spencer more than anyone.

He remembered how things had changed a few months back, how you'd started to move on all for the rug to be pulled from up under your feet. It had been outwardly cruel, undoubtedly. because while everyone else on the team seemed to be just fine with 'don't ask, don't tell', Spencer had been unable to not pay attention to the way Hotch had actually changed too. Did he hate him? Absolutely not... and he knew you didn't either, because despite how idiotic the plan was, he hadn't done much besides give you more attention.

And Spencer guessed the act of giving you more attention had unsurprisingly ended with Aaron Hotchner realizing it was something he actually enjoyed. Hence the sudden change their boss underwent.

He supposed that was the worst part about it all, the fact that everyone had the right to tell you that "nothing had happened", and there was nothing you could do about it. Because in the grand scheme of things nothing really had happened. Hotch was no heartless womanizer, Spencer couldn't even imagine the man flirting with anyone, let alone stringing someone along for kicks. Still, that didn't change the fact that you'd gotten your hopes up, and now you were back to your own harsh reality.

Not because it wasn't a real possibility, more so because Hotch was self destructive, and sabotaged himself and his happiness at every turn. Spencer wants to stay quiet, to bask in the fact that you were slowly on your own terms getting over Hotch, and paying more attention to him, but he can't do that. He'd hate it if someone did it to him. So instead he decides to throw you a bone, push you in the right direction. "Why haven't you just talked to him?" it's not what he had meant to say. He had meant to play the role of the supportive friend.

He'd wanted to pat you on the back, mumble some agreeance that would validate how you were feeling, and possibly give him cool points. Instead, here he was about to push you in the direction of someone else. He supposed that's how stupid love made you.

"What?" you exclaim, and Spencer doesn't know what's so exasperating about his question. It was obvious that you needed to, it wasn't fair that you were slowly deteriorating on the inside whilst trying to maintain some semblance of being a "team player". He said 'screw the team' if it wasn't genuine. And clearly, from the way you'd still been icing out JJ and Emily, it wasn't. Not fully anyway. He'd never rush you to get over it, mostly because it'd make him a hypocrite. He still cringes at the thought of the tears he'd shed to JJ.

But, that was his own problem.

"Hotch." he lowers his voice a little, because it's just now hitting him that the two of you have been slacking off for a while now. Emily wasn't exactly focused in on the both of you anymore, but every so often, he'd find that she still look up every few moments. JJ, Derek, and Rossi had made a habit of leaving their respective offices, eyes glued to what was apparently becoming unit news. "You should talk to him." he says simply as your eyes cross dramatically.

"What's there to talk about?" you ask suddenly distracted by a smudge on the corner of your desk.

"What happened." he says simply. "I mean, don't you think there might be some explanation you might be missing?" Spencer tries, and you curl into yourself just a little bit.

"It's still work hours and he's still Hotch." you deny, and Spencer's lips push to the side, an obvious sign of his slight discomfort about what he was going to say next. "He's not going to want to talk about it." you admit. "And what exactly do you say in a conversation like that? Oh by the way boss, I was in love with you, and it kinda felt like maybe you felt the same, except oh wait, it was just a ploy to keep me from realizing you were lying about Emily being alive?" you say sarcastically. Spencer huffs in retaliation.

"Yes actually, you could say exactly that. Maybe you'll learn something you didn't know before." he deadpans, and your nose curls. You cut your eyes over at the man, who's not amused.

"I kinda thought you'd be the last person pushing for this sort of confrontation, you know?' you admit before you can really help yourself. You watch as Spencer's face seems to set into one of surprise, his cheeks and neck slowly gaining a red sort of tint to them.

"What do you mean?" he questions, and your mouth parts just slightly. And you think the same way he's been gentle with you is the exact same way you need to be gentle with him, so you pivot, head shaking from side to side.

"Nothing." you say firmly. "Forget about it." you say quietly, and then you're looking back at your paperwork. Spencer, embarrassed finds himself fiddling with his fingers, trying to scold his heartbeat back into submission. It suddenly felt way too cramped sitting at your desk.

"You should go after work." he says, and your eyes snap back to him. "Talk to Hotch after work, I mean." he says and your stomach feels a bit tight. "I think it'll be best." he proceeds, and you frown.

"You do?" you question, and you try not to sound despondent.

"Y-Yeah, I do." he agrees despite his stutter. "Things like this don't go away on their own, you know?" and you chew on the inside of your lip, and feel that gloom cloud from earlier making its way back.

"I thought we were supposed to be hanging out today, Spencer." you start and he blinks owlishly, long lashes nearly caressing the tops of his cheekbones.

"We could always raincheck." he says, and you stare at him just a bit blankly. "It's not like it was a date or anything. They were just plans..." he adds, and your teeth chomp down on your bottom lip. He doesn't really know how to read the look on your face, but he knows that he feels like he's being noble.

"Just plans." you shrug your shoulders dismissively. "Right." and then you pick up your pen. "Well if that's what you want, I guess it's fine by me." you add, body curling into itself as you position yourself away from him.

"Isn't that what you want?" he questions, and you cut your eyes.

"Do you think I'd be sitting here if it was?" you keep your voice level, but your leg is bouncing. You're not quite sure why, maybe because Spencer was being Spencer. You supposed your comment that made it clear that you knew that he had feelings for you had scared him. Now, he was trying to protect himself, but you weren't so hungry for a relationship that you'd string him along for the sole purpose of getting over Hotch. You would've made this call had you figured it out or not, and you supposed the fact he didn't get that was what sucked. "I'm not that pathetic." you add with a quiet scoff.

"It's not about you being pathetic." he denies. "I don't think that about you., I just know that you're in a vulnerable place. You had real feelings for him, and I think it'd be best for you to get it all off your chest correctly, before you start projecting all those leftover feelings to the first person you can." and he doesn't mean it in the way it sounds. In fact the statistics about rebounds would sound a lot worse, but as usual, he's horrible at communicating exactly what he feels.

You blink. Once, twice, three times.

"I can't believe you just said that to me." you say, and you're abruptly standing up, mostly because you're about to cry like the fucking baby you were. Spencer's certain this is a new record for how quickly things could go left just because he couldn't shut the hell up. What he'd been trying to convey was that after a rejection, it was much easier to mistake platonic feelings for romantic ones. He had been a consistent shoulder for you to lean on since everything went south.

He didn't want you to think that he was being nice to you only because he had feelings for you, and convince yourself that you felt the same all because you refused to fully shut the door with Hotch. But he'd never actually meant to make it seem like you'd be so desperate, and especially not with him. "Y/N, wait. That's not what I meant-" except you're already leaving, taking in the shaky breath that told him he'd stupidly made you cry.

"L/N?" Emily's calling as you pass her, but you don't respond to her either. Instead you're rushing off in the direction of the bathroom, likely to calm yourself down. Emily's eyes are immediately snapping over to Spencer, and her eyebrows are furrowed. He instinctively looks away, internally cursing himself out.

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"Y/N/N?" you're surprised to hear JJ entering the bathroom, and you're hurriedly moving to splash at your face with water to keep it from looking so puffy. Still, JJ was as perceptive as she was pushy, so it's clear she's already put it together that you're crying. "Hey, is everything alright?" she takes on that motherly tone she uses with Henry, and the rest of the team when they're feeling down.

"I'm fine." you insist, and she doesn't look convinced. She takes a tentative step towards you, standing beside the sink you were occupying. "Seriously JJ, please just leave me alone." you partially beg.

"I know you're upset with me, but you're still my friend." she reminds you. "I'm not going to leave you in here when it's clear you're upset." she exclaims. "So you can talk to me or not, but I'm not going anywhere." she deadpans, and you sniffle, rubbing harshly at your cheeks. They're sensitive to the action, blood rushing to your face.

"You're so annoying." you mumble, but there's no bite. It makes JJ snicker, and it's a step in the right direction you're sure.

"It's my job." she retorts with a shrug, and she leans her back against the sink beside you, legs crossing slightly. "Is everything okay?" she tries again, much more gently as you frown. No, everything was not okay. You hadn't actually expected to be sitting here crying over Spencer's remark, but you supposed that the fact he believed you'd ever use him as a rebound had kind of hurt. You supposed it also didn't help that he'd so callously canceled your plans.

You'd actually started to look forward to hanging out with him.

"Do you think I'm desperate?" you question haughtily, and JJ's eyes widen, surprise overtaking her features as she turns to you fully.

"Of course not." she denies firmly, blonde ponytail bobbing with all her intense animation. "What would make you think that?" she pries, and you cut your eyes just slightly.

"You guys could have trusted me with the truth." you counter, and she falls silent. "And even if you couldn't there were so many other ways to keep me from finding out about Emily. Ways that didn't involve making me look like an idiot to the rest of the team." you mumble crossly, and you blink enough that you feel like your lashes are crumpling into your cornea. it forces you to drag a hand over them roughly, rubbing harshly at your eyes until the sensation left.

"That wasn't what we were trying to do." JJ tries, and it doesn't really matter what exactly she was trying to do. What mattered was what had happened. "You know that." she adds, and you think she's trying to appeal to the part of you that knew the type of people she and Hotch were. The ones that had proven their loyalty to the team for years and years. "Is this about Hotch?" she says and you wince because the problem wasn't that simple.

And you didn't understand why everyone seemed to think so.

You weren't some girl that couldn't handle rejection, what bothered you the most was that Hotch and JJ had felt like they couldn't trust you, and it bothered you that Hotch had felt like he had to play along to some stupid fantasy to ensure you'd play your role. And it especially bothered you that you'd mourned your friend Emily and everything you thought you knew about her, and all anyone could focus on was the fact that you liked Hotch and he didn't like you back. As if your entire world stopped all because of it.

"No, it's not about Hotch." you deadpan. "I wish you guys would just stop being so casual about it." you add on as JJ's mouth parts.

"Y/N... it's not really something that you'd ever really been subtle about. Everyone knows." and she's still trying to be gentle, despite the fact that the words still managed to slice at you.

"So that makes what you guys did, okay?" you shoot back. "Is that really the hill you want to die on?" and you're growing crosser. "This isn't about not being liked back by a guy, this is about me believing that the people I spend most of my days with have my back. How are we supposed to be a team when I can't trust you?" you press. "Because you never would have done that to Spence." you add, and JJ blinks, mostly because she doesn't know how to counter that.

"You didn't have to do it to Derek or Rossi or Penelope either." you remind her. "So what was it about me, about this that made your only course of action rubbing salt in a wound that I was doing a damn good job of healing all on my own?"

"I-I don't know." she admits, and you suppose it was an answer.

"Yeah, well I don't know if I have the patience to wait around for you all to figure that out." you mumble.

"What are you saying?" and JJ's blinking a bit more, eyes misty but not quite showing any signs of shed tears.

"I'm saying that before I didn't know if I wanted to stay here anymore. I love my job, but I don't love how it makes me feel now." you say plainly. "When Elle got like that and ignored her gut it got someone shot." you say, and it sounds melodramatic, but it doesn't feel that way at all. JJ gasps, though it's faint. "I just don't want to wait around for that to happen to me." and you inhale sharply, shuddered breath wracking through you as JJ stares at you clearly gobsmacked.

"But-" and she can't quite grasp the words. "You can't just leave." she exclaims, and it sounds like she's pleading. "Look-" and she's starting to sound just a little desperate. "Look we never wanted to hurt you, okay? And-and none of us..." and she stops to make sure she's staring you directly in your eyes. "None of us want to lose you, Y/N." she insists. "I-" and she's shaking her head again. "Please don't do this." and she sounds the same way Spencer did when he said it. Your nose twitches, "We just got the team back together." she mutters.

"JJ, that's not fair." you huff at her, and she's not really trying to be fair. She just doesn't want you to leave.

"I'm so sorry that we hurt you." and while most apologies that start that way are usually rife with deceit, JJ sounds more sincere than she probably ever has before. "And I'm sorry if it feels a little flat, especially with you already having a foot out the door." she sighs, "It wasn't okay, but-but I know how Hotch feels about you. How the entire team feels about you." she reiterates. "We can't do this without you, we can't." she emphasizes sternly. "And maybe that's selfish to bring up, but we all care so much about you." she promises.

You want to cut her off, but she doesn't give you the chance.

Classic JJ.

"Do whatever you need to! Take as much time away as you need, hate us forever if you have to, but please don't- don't walk away from what you do here." she exhales shakily. "And-and for the record, whether it helps or not... we didn't sit around discussing your... feelings for Hotch." she tells you quietly. "It wasn't some master plan that we composed, and-and I don't know... it couldn't have all been fake." she whispers, and you wonder why she's changing her tune, because just last week she was telling you that 'it wasn't real'

"JJ-" you finally manage and she's shaking her head.

"I'm serious." she insists, and your nose crinkles up again.

"Stop." you deadpan. "You're being really mean." you huff, and you begin to click at your nails just slightly. JJ thinks you're a little bit exasperating. Too stubborn for your own good, but she wont push.

"Could you just listen for one second?" she exclaims, and you're pouting as she grows more overwhelmed at it all. "I wouldn't lie to you about this." she insists, and you wonder why she, and Spencer have taken this sort of stance with you. It should make you hopeful, right? Oh, there was some chance that Hotch felt the same way as you. Except you can't be happy about it, because he's not the one that was sitting here telling you this. It was JJ.

What had you told Spencer earlier? 'There's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right', and emotionally exhausted or not, you meant it. Which meant you refused to do the work for him. If he couldn't say it, if he couldn't admit it, than it was as if it wasn't true at all. Which is why you exhale, blinking away whatever bleariness tried to keep itself latched to your eyes. "I love you for trying so hard, but I'd rather you didn't." you instruct sternly.

JJ inhales deeply, audibly expelling the breath from her nose. "That's what you're missing, Y/N." she begins, and she reaches out, hand cupping your shoulder. "I'm not trying to do anything. Everything I've said today I meant. You're important, and you're a lot to lose." she admits. "If you're going to leave, leave because you hate the job, do it because you don't feel fulfilled any longer. But don't let this be what makes you throw in the towel, Y/N." she says and you huff again.

You were doing a lot of that today. "We'll make up for it." she begins, and then she sighs. "I'll make up for it, however long it takes." and you think her pivot from sharing the blame to taking it all for herself makes you feel a little less like you were being ganged up on. She was no longer the spokesperson for everyone involved, and was back to just being JJ, your friend JJ. "Please?" she tries again, and it's not like her to beg, which tells you all you need to know about how serious she was.

"We should get back to work." you mumble, and it's not quite the answer she's expecting, but at the very least it was a promise that you both still had until the end of the day at the very least. She doesn't have the strength to fight her smile, arms looping around you in a move that's much too invasive for your still sour mood, but you don't slight her for it. You instead let her hug you, because obviously it meant a lot more to her than you knew. She'd missed you.

"Alright, alright. That's enough." you tease, moving to lightly push the blonde off of you as she exhales.

"Can you blame me? I thought you were gonna hate me forever." she admits honestly, and you crinkle your nose.

"Guess I'm softer than I thought." you reply, and she waves you off at the remark. Still, despite this slight turn in the direction of your relationship with JJ, you still couldn't feel all that settled. But, you know hiding out in the restroom was by no means the best choice. So when JJ moves to leave, you tail her, surprised when on the other side is a nearly pacing Reid.

"Spence?" JJ exclaims in surprise, the tawny haired man turns to you both. He's immediately looking past JJ to take you in. JJ follows hos gaze and whistles under her breath, deciding that her job was done. She offers you a hopeful sort of look before she continues on towards her desk, leaving you and Spencer mostly alone.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and you're subjectively alright, for the moment. You're better than you were, but not as good as you could be. You're not anywhere near where or who you were before, but you suppose after what the team endured there wasn't much that could be done about that last bit. "I'm so sorry." he's exclaiming, and of course, he means it. He always means it. "I didn't mean to-" and he doesn't really know how to articulate all his thoughts correctly.

He's good with words, knows facts and statistics and data, knows what runs through his mind when he thinks about you, and knows what he wants to say. It's when he opens his mouth that things go awry, because despite all his grand attempts, he always manages to screw up when it came to expressing the emotional side of things. His pep talks sometimes fell flat, and a lot of times he missed the mark when it came to cheering someone up. But, he'd never wanted to be a person who hurt you, so he needed to fix it.

Even if it ruined everything forever.

"I wasn't trying to insinuate that you'd-" and he motions between the both of you. "I don't think that you see me as a rebound." he finally vocalizes. "That would mean you'd have to see me in a potentially romantic way." Spencer's voice is as steady as it often was when he was giving a geographical profile or helping to relay some form of fact or evidence during a case. Which said a lot about his intentions, and how serious he was about you not misunderstanding him.

"I was merely trying to note that a lot of times in circumstances where we're faced rejection from someone we hold to a high regard, it's really easy to misinterpret our own feelings and latch onto people before we really mean to." he expresses, and your chewing on the inside of your cheek, albeit subtly. "For example, because you've established me as someone who you can trust during this time, it'd be really easy for you to misinterpret what you think you feel for me." he says, and your eyebrows furrow inwardly.

"How could I possibly do that? They're my own feelings." you retort.

"Because, the first thing people do after a breakup, is they seek validation, or a new way to boost their esteem and self worth." he doesn't quite lecture, but it's clear he's intent on your knowing all of this. "And that doesn't necessarily mean that you're vying for me as a potential person to bounce back with, but a lot of times when you don't process the end of a previous emotional bond, your view of the entire new dynamic can be warped." he proceeds, and you're still not really understanding his point, instead you're feeling more silly.

"What are you saying, Spencer?" you question quietly.

"All I'm trying to explain is that I don't want you to tell me that you want to go out and listen to me promenade facts unless it's what you really want to do." he says, "I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to play along, because you think we're in the same boat... where we- we love someone that we can't have?" he presses, and he winces once it's out, you think you may have started holding your breath. "Does that make sense to you?"

You nod your head limply, and you take in his words. You find that your little hunch about your dear Spencer was correct. You also note that it doesn't quite scare you the way you'd initially believed it would. "Spence, I wouldn't do that to you." you remind him, and he nods too.

"I know that." he promises. "At least not consciously, but our minds can play tricks on us. You could think that this is what's best, moving on... forgetting about- about everything that happened." he presses, and your lips form into a thin line. "And then wake up in three weeks and remember why you fell in love with Hotch to begin with."

"Or-" and his eyes widen.

"Or?"

"Or...I could choose to stop waiting around for someone to not be afraid to love me." you counter. "I could- I could choose to hang out with my friend, Spencer and be okay with whatever happens after that. I could- We could do that. And it could be okay." you purse your lips. "Because, it's what I want to do. Nobody's entitled to my feelings but me, and you know what that means, Spencer? It means that if you think that you might love me, you need to be okay with that." he looks a bit startled that you're saying it so bluntly, but stays quiet.

"And you need to know that sometimes your statistics are gonna be wrong, and sometimes the guy that's too scared to admit how they feel doesn't get the girl." it's a shock, you can't say that you've fallen out of love in a day, you can't say that you've fallen in love in a day. But you do know that Spencer Reid managed to invoke a hope inside of you that you hadn't managed to feel in a long time. He made you girlishly giddy, and you liked talking to him, you liked listening to him, you liked the way it felt when you'd made plans together.

And maybe there was no such thing as a happily ever after where everyone gets who they want, maybe in three weeks you would wake up and find that you and Spencer were better off as friends, but you weren't going to hold up your life in the hopes that maybe someday Aaron Hotchner would wake up and decide he was finally ready to love you out loud. Not when there was a chance to take your own life, your own emotions by the balls and do with them what you wanted.

"He doesn't?" Spencer asks, and you're not quite sure you can place what emotions are resting on his face and in his eyes.

"We can find out." you offer, and it's not some heady and heavy declaration of unyielding devotion, but wasn't that sort of how every relationship started? With some decision to take a chance. Maybe, you didn't really know. "There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and for the second time that day Spencer seems to brighten right in front of your eyes. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me... there's a lot we could do…" and the small change is almost everything. It's scary, causes a pit in your gut.

Still, it's a nicer feeling than uncertainty and the hollowness left behind by idleness. "Are you in?" you ask, and Spencer is already nodding his head, smile reaching his eyes as his pretty teeth reveal themselves to you, eyes twinkling in a way that's very very beautiful.

"Yes." he agrees with a simple nod. "I would-" and you think it's cute the way his smile refuses to leave, and sweet the way he's suddenly grown nervous all over again. "I'd like that-" and his voice cracks, and earns him a laugh, your own demeanor seeming to change as your excitement starts to brew in the depths of your chest.

"Good." you beam.

"Good." he repeats, and there's a small moment, a flicker where you're certain you both look nervous, frightful of what came next. But it only lasts a second, because you're both suddenly being called by Derek, a resounding 'Pretty Boy, Pretty Girl' forcing you out of your bubble and back into the fray. With another shared smile you find yourselves in step, making your way back towards the heart of the bullpen where the rest of the team is huddled. It's rare when work is so light, but you know as well as everyone else, you'll all take advantage of it.

When Penelope smiles at you, you smile back, and it's real.

When JJ plants herself on top of your desk, the two of you actually laugh, spilling secrets and trading gossip like nothing's ever changed.

When Rossi calls you Piccola, you relax even more into the familiarity of being surrounded by your teammates.

When Derek slings an arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss to the top of your head, you remember why you loved your job.

When Emily calls your name and waves you and JJ over to the group, you oblige, meeting Emily's eyes with no mirth left behind. When she calls you by your nickname, you feel that familiar swarm of familial adoration filling your chest, and recognize that things with her would be okay. You find that in the grand scheme she is still your Emily.

When you find yourself standing next to your boss, his usually stern and stoic persona shed in the presence of the team he considered family, you hardly bat an eye. When he smiles at a joke you make, you're pleased, but the anxiety, the panic that tormented you is all gone. The butterflies are too, replaced with the respect you remember.

And when you find yourself looking across the circle and meet the pretty brown eyes of one Spencer Reid, you feel it when your heart tremors, just a little bit.

And you think, in the end, you made the right decision.

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darylbae · 3 months

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Always read your fics and enjoyed them from afar , , why not send a request ! ^^ Don't feel pressured to write this too this is a little weird now that I read it over and sorry for the long req ! ! >< Could you write some an angsty or fluffy oneshot of a reader infected with the deadly flu during (i think) early season 4 and Daryl determined to cure her of the sickness. Them both having conversations between the glass of the prison where the reader is just at the point of giving up and accepting they'll die by this flu and Daryl is trying to give them hope. There's the scene with the group who went to the veterinary (..?) college/university to grab medicine for Hershel to use where they find out Bob didn't grab shit and Daryl just goes off at him because the reader was so kind and generous to him wdym you only grabbed BOOZE?? And then it ends with the reader who's cured of the flu, running into Daryl's arms both relieved and happy that they can finally hold each other again. Which ends in Daryl showering them in kisses because yay they're cured ! The idea just came to me while I was laying at the beach, "If the reader, his lover, was infected by the flu how much more angry would Daryl be with Bob when he only grabs alcohol?"

quarantine — daryl dixon

in which the flu catches up to you, and daryl is stressed about losing you

note: my requests are still open!! i have a few to write but im still happy to accept them! <3

Your job prior to the apocalypse was a caregiver to the elderly, so you had experience with a lot of medication and general practice of caring for someone. It's why Daryl had become so drawn to you, seeing you care for your people, or even people from Woodbury that had just been taken in, you gave everyone the same love and attention regardless of time spent with them. Daryl hadn't realised his longstanding affection for you until this flu outbreak within your prison community. You'd volunteered to help everyone alongside Herschel, caring more about the well-being of others more than your own. Until you'd gotten sick. "It was inevitable, honey," you spoke, not having the energy to even raise your voice above a whisper, "I'm glad I kept everyone in here hydrated, fed, and stable. But we're not seeing any progress." Daryl was on the other end of the window, eyes staring intensely into yours, wishing he could touch you, wishing he could hear your voice clear as day and not muffled due to being separated. Daryl sighed in defeat. "You don't deserve this." "Nobody does, but we need medication, Dar." You admitted. "It's the only way for people to get better, otherwise, we'll die in here." The thought of losing anyone else was enough of a push to find some medication, but the thought of losing you was enough to get him anywhere. He'd ride for days, hell, he'd walk for days if it meant you could get better. "I'm taking a group out, I'll get ya the meds. Just rest f'me, okay sweetheart?" Daryl was pleading now, you could hear the whine in his voice. You nodded, coughing into your hands as you hobbled away.

Days had passed. You couldn't get out of bed most mornings, even as Herschel did his rounds. Usually you'd join him, making sure everyone had water and food. But your bones ached, your head was pounding, you were sweating through your clothes. "Why don't the caregivers care for themselves, hm?" Herschel asked, entering your cell with a pitcher of water. You smiled painfully, reaching for your cup and holding it up for him. "Not used to it, I guess.." You wheezed, stabling yourself before another coughing fit. "How is everyone?" "Good as they can be, I guess." "Any word on the meds?" You asked, wanting to take the moment off yourself and onto a cure. Herschel shook his head. "Daryl keeps asking about you, though. It's rather sweet, really." "He is. Contrary to how he acts." You smiled, the thought of how he only acted around you. You'd caught him smiling a few times, even laughing at your terrible jokes. "I know a man in love when I see one."

Herschel had alerted you that Daryl was by the window again, asking for you. So you'd made the effort to hobble out of your cell and over to the window. And Daryl almost collapsed at the sight of you. Pale, hunched over in pain, sweat dripping from your skin. Your once glowing skin replaced with dullness, dark circles under your eyes. "Hey," you whispered, your hand on the glass, "how are you?" "How are you?" He asked, matching your hand with his and the both of you craved the feeling of the other's skin on yours. This was pure torture. "I can't do this anymore, Dar." You tried to take in a deep breathe, but you would wheeze as you did so. "It's getting harder. To talk, to walk, to move at all." Daryl's brows furrowed, trying to hold in every ounce of emotion threatening to spill out of him. "I know, sweetheart, I know." "They really need those meds in here, they're not getting any better." You confessed, there was no point trying to hide it now, you'd be walkers in a matter of days. "I'm gettin' em, I promise. Jus' been findin' fuel and supplies for our trip, we're leavin' today." Daryl mumbled, doubts and fears running rampant in his head. "Jus' came to say goodbye and I'll be back for ya." "I know you will, when I'm better I want a nice hug from you. It's the least bit of affection I deserve." You smiled, matching his as he shoved his middle finger up at you. But you knew what he meant. You could wait to tell him you loved him too.

Daryl had gone with Michonne, Bob, and Tyreece to a veterinary college for the medication, but Daryl couldn't think straight. He hadn't realised just how much you meant to him until you were isolated away from him. And he wasn't going to keep it to himself anymore. "We're in and we're out." Daryl instructed the team, leading them into the building. "Grab everything you can." He was so focused on finding the names of everything he needed, shoving it into his bag, he had his sights set on his objective and nobody else. Walkers had become the least of his worries. Even when the escapes had been overrun with walkers, he'd found a window which took them out to a roof. "We can walk over this roof, get us away from 'em." Daryl suggested, helping Michonne through the roof and carefully out of the building. The four steadily climbed out, aiming to walk along and find a quiet place to drop down, but Bob had lost balance and almost let go of his bag. Daryl turned, seeing the commotion and seeing Bob so desperately clinging to the back, completely ignoring any sense of fear from the walkers. "Just let it go!" Tyreece called out, but Bob was adamant on pulling the bag up. And Daryl had leaned forward to retrieve the bag from him. "What's so damn important in here, huh?" Daryl mumbled to himself, unzipping the backpack and pulling out a bottle. A bottle of what looked like whiskey. "All that for a drink?" Daryl reached his arm up to lunge it away, but Bob let out a yelp. "Please," he pleaded, "don't. It's just for when it get's quiet." Daryl was seething, why should he listen to his cries? He was on a selfish solo-mission. "Just give it to him." Michonne sighed, still wary of her footing as the walkers were clambering for their feet. "I can't believe this shit!" Daryl exclaimed, Bob's eyes fixed onto the alcohol sloshing around in Daryl's hands. "Should've left ya to die out there, we been so nice to ya. Y/N's been so nice to ya, and ya don't care one bit." "You take a sip of this before these meds get in our people," Daryl stepped to Bob, a menacing expression on his face as he shoved the bottle into his chest, "I will beat your ass into the ground."

It was a silent trip home, Daryl in the front seat with his head on the window. He couldn't stop thinking about you, about whether you were dead or alive. He was praying for the latter, and Daryl never prayed. In his life, he was so anti-God but when it came to you, he'd try anything. So seeing the familiar prison gates, Daryl almost leapt out the car whilst it was still rolling. He'd taken the bags of supplies straight to the quarantine zone, throwing it over to Herschel and sitting impatiently by the window. The window you'd always talk at, pressing your hands against it together, the one he hoped wouldn't have to separate you any longer. He had nothing to do except wait. He'd anxiously play with the ends of his hair, biting on his lip whilst he waited for any signs of progression. He sat, completely alone, just waiting for you. Completely unaware of the time passing around him. It wasn't until Maggie spotted him, and approached him slowly. "Everyone's taken the meds, they just need rest." She confirmed, and his heart lifted. "She's okay, but I think you need some rest too." "Thanks." Daryl spoke softly, a small smile on his lips as Maggie had exited the quarantine zone. He'd only waited a little while longer, until admitting defeat for the night.

The next morning, Daryl was up and spent the morning outside. Fixing the fence, stabbing some walkers in the skull, the usual daily tasks for him now. He'd accepted that you'd needed your rest, at least you were alive. But the weight still sat in his chest, even knowing you were on the mend, he wanted you. He needed you. Bob's selfish actions yesterday were now but a passing thought, he was solely centered on you. So he'd eaten some food, spoken to Carol, gone about his day as he usually would. Except you were missing. It had gotten to the evening, the sun setting behind the trees and it was a sight he wished to experience with you. "Hey handsome," he heard behind him, his head snapping to the direction of your voice, seeing you stood, weakly, against a wall. "Oh my God," he tried to speak, but it came out as more of a whimper. He'd abandoned his smoke, throwing it onto the ground before wrapping you into his body. Feeling your skin on his, your voice blessing his ears, it felt too good to be true. "Dar," you croaked, "too tight." You giggled when he'd released you, brushing his hands down your back, not wanting to take his hands from you.

#inbox 💌#daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #daryl x you #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x female reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon incorrect quotes #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon blurb #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon imagines #twd daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl dixon #daryl dixon the walking dead #twd daryl

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kurokens · 4 months

Text

In The Night I Miss You | Satosugu

anime/manga: jujutsu kaisen

character: gojo satoru & geto suguru

words: 1.5k

pronouns: they/them

request: none

notes: sorry for the wait!!! but part 2 of In The Middle, my first satosugu piece, is finally here! a little bit more angsty this time and from satosugu's pov

not proof read

song rec: The Night I Miss You - Lee Changsub

genre: hurt comfort, fluff, slowburn, a little bit angsty, poly?

warnings: satosugu are in a loving relationship, misunderstanding, pinning, a lot of pinning on satosugu's end, reader is so oblivious, insecure and self conscious reader

Satoru and Suguru were quite the pair, always together since they can remember, as if fate created them for each other. Two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together. They knew that, hell, everyone around them and their mother knew that. And yet, they both felt like something was missing, they spent years happily loving each others, and they never stopped, but they couldn't help but feel some kind of longing for something more.

At first it drove them crazy, how could they feel like that when they already had everything they ever dreamed of? They're both each others soulmate, and yet it's not enough, not anymore, not since they met you. You came and wrecked their perfect little world. You and your stupid smile, you and your stupid laugh, you and your stupid kindness, you and your stupid gentleness, just you and your stupid self. It was such a hard time for them to accept these feelings, especially with the growing guilt towards each others, clueless about the other similar torment. Until one day, the cat got out of the bag. "Say sugu..." The white-haired man started softly, a gentle hum coming back from his lover. "Are you satisfied? I mean, with us? Our couple?"

"Why? Yes, of course. Is something the matter? Have I done anything to make you think otherwise?" Suguru exhaled through a trembling breath.

"No, god no. It's just, god, how do I say this without sounding selfish. Have you ever felt like something was missing?" Satoru breathed out, closing his eyes in shame.

"You mean, like someone?" The black-haired man whispered shakily causin Gojo to spring up from his previous position, biwildered eyes meeting the ones he was ashamed to look at earlier.

"I didn't, I didn't say that, I mean not exactly, but, but maybe? Do you?" He murmured, a glint of hope in his orbs.

"Do you?" Suguru asked, just as hopeful.

"Yes, god, yes. I'm so sorry Sugu, I love you, I do, I promise. Like I've never loved anyone, but lately I've felt this way and I don't know why, and I didn't know how to tell you. Please tell me you do too. I can see it in your eyes, you do too right?" Satoru begged, his hands now clamped on the sheets below him.

"Yes, I do. God I was so scared to tell you, I'm so glad you feel it too. Oh, I'm so glad." Geto let out, his breathing calming down as well as his nerves. "You're thinking about someone in particular are you not?" He continued, reaching out to take Gojo's hands in his, easing down his stress.

"Yes..." He answered, tightening his grip around Geto's hands. "Do you?" Only receiving a nod along with the brightest smile he's ever seen his lover give him. "It's them, right?" Another nod came his way, just as he was pulled into a hug. "I'm so glad you feel the same. I was so scared. I thought I would lose you if I said anything, I don't want to lose you." He sobbed, finally letting out all the repressed feelings he's been having for the past couple of days.

Suguru stayed quiet, nuzzling his head into his lover's neck, grateful for the conversation, but also for the fact that they both felt the same. Of course the universe wouldn't betray them like that. They were soulmates, and it was destiny for both of them to fall for you, and maybe it was how it was always meant to be, not just them, but the three of you. And Suguru was more than content with this idea, he wished nothing more but to be able to share this overwhelming love with you as well. But he knew it would take time, it's not something they could act on just like that. They needed to proceed slowly, they didn't want to scare you, let alone lose you. Hell, losing you would shatter them, they could handle rejection just fine, but not having you in their life anymore just wasn't possible.

That's why Suguru had to physically stop Satoru from screwing this up. It was quite hard for the white-haired man child to refrain himself from acting on his desire to confess to you, and make you theirs. Since you lived with them, seeing you everyday and not being able to love you like he truly did, was the worst hardship he ever had to face. He wasn't used to not getting what he wanted, so having to wait for you to be theirs was proper torture. Don't get him wrong, it was also very hard for Suguru, but he knew they had to do this properly, and one of them had to be strong, because Satoru sure wasn't going to be. And because of that they would regularly have the same conversation in their room late at night, or early in the morning because it's when they were yearning for you the most. In the comfort of their bed.

"I dont know for how much longer I can do this Sugu..." Satoru sighed, burying his head in his lover's chest, muffling his next words. "They're so pretty, and so nice, and so caring, I love them so much. I would give anything to crush them between us right now."

"Me neither love, but there is nothing much we can do about it.They live with us." His black haired lover replied, laughing at his antics.

"I know, ugh I know, but it's getting so much harder everyday. Seeing them is becoming unbearable. I can't stand it anymore, we need to do something." He went on, on the verge of throwing a tantrum because of how much he yearned for you.

"Shh, I know, I feel the same. But we can't just drop this on them all of the sudden and expect it to go well." The oldest reasoned. "We will get there, we just need to take things slow Toru, we can't rush them into something like that."

And he was right, Satoru knew he was right, but it's been weeks and nothing changed. They tried being more affectionate towards you, complimenting you, being a little bit touchier and clingier without crossing any boundaries. Hell, they were looking at you so lovingly you could compare them to teenage boys going through their first ever crush. And yet, nothing changed, you were so clueless, it was driving them insane, but at the same time it was so endearing how oblivious you were to their adoration.

Everyone around you three noticed it, but you. It was quite amusing for your friends, but it was proper torture to them. And Satoru was growing reckless, he could'nt look at you in the eyes anymore, scared he will do something on impulse and regret it later because it could jeopardise your relationship, and your potential future together. Suguru wasn't much better to be fair, he could still look at you, but it was getting harder, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything to you that wasn't a heartfelt confession about their undying love for you, and his need to make you part of their life. So they decided to ton it down a bit, grow some distance between you, just the time for them to get themselves together, and to elaborate the perfect plan to confess to you properly without forcing you into anything. Yes, that was a good plan, or so they thought. Not once have they ever imagined this plan of action could backfire. Because why would it? It was the perfect plan!! Just until it wasn't.

After some time of putting distance between you, (literally a single day, Satoru couldn't more), the couple deciding to put their plan back into action but with a bit more hints being thrown into it. But, unfortunately for them, when they came back from work, the house was oddly silent, not a trace of you to be seen. "Sweetcheek?" Satoru called, walking towards your room, only to be met by complete silence. "Hey gorgeous, you in there?" He knocked, but once again silence was his only answer. So he opened the door, to see if maybe you were sleeping, but you weren't. Your bed was made, but something was off. Your room was clean but it felt like something was missing.

"Sugu, come here real quick." He urged, and Suguru footsteps were quickly heard. "Something isn't right."

They both stood at the entrance of your room, analysing everything, trying to find what was amiss, this odd feeling growing stronger and stronger. And then they spot it, a letter neatly placed on your desk, which read:

'The walls are thins here you know. Anyway don't worry I'll be out of your space soon. Sorry about the stuff I've left there, it's just for the time it takes for me to look for a new place and then I will give you back your much needed space. Thank you for letting me stay this long, and sorry for the trouble I've caused.'

The couple grew livid. Their worst fear became reality, and they didn't know how to fix it, but they knew they had to. And the sooner, the better.

part 3 is out, find it here!!

#saturn's writing #satosugu x reader #satosugu x you #satosugu poly #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #gojo satoru x geto suguru x reader

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solarmorrigan · 6 months

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Hello there! I’m not entirely sure if you’re still doing the whole angsty-ish prompt thing, but if you are could please consider doing, “Shit, are you bleeding!?”, with steddie and Steve being the one bleeding?

Maybe Steve never actually took care of his bat wounds and they reopened or smth??

If not then that’s totally fine! Feel free to ignore :)

THIS IS VERY LATE, I'M SORRY. I know you sent this request months ago, and believe it or not, I didn't forget about it! It haunted me. (Not really, but I did keep it in mind, and I finally managed to get a little thing out for it! I hope this is a little like what you had in mind?)

[CW: blood, mentions of injury]

They’ve done it.

They’ve actually fucking done it.

They pulled off the whole stupid plan, no one is dead (except for Vecna), they’re right-side up, the gate has resealed itself – it’s over.

They won.

And now, there’s just one thing left to do.

Nothing official, really, just something Eddie had promised himself he would do if he actually managed to survive (odds hadn’t seemed to be in his favor at the time, so he hadn’t expected to have to follow through, but he’d also promised himself there would be no more running away). In a way, he’d promised Steve, too, so he thinks he’d better deliver.

(At least, he hopes that’s what he’d communicated to Steve; he hopes that’s what that meaningful look and that significant nod that passed between them had meant and that he’s not about to get his ass kicked after surviving the siege of a bat tornado in a mirror version of his trailer in a fucked up alternate dimension.)

Eddie gives Dustin one last affectionate pat on the back, skirts around where Robin is babbling something enthusiastically at Nancy, who looks a little too shellshocked to do much more than listen with an almost disbelieving smile, and makes it over to where Steve is standing by the front door. He’s got his back to the group, hunched over a little as he fiddles with something beneath his unzipped jacket, but he perks up the moment he hears Eddie’s voice.

“Steve,” Eddie calls, more quietly than the last time, but with no less gravity, and just like last time, Steve turns back, his gaze falling heavily on Eddie.

Before he can talk himself out of it, and horribly aware that this isn’t really the best time or place (but then again, if not here, then where? If not now, when?), Eddie steps closer, steps right into Steve’s space, cups one hand to his ash-smudged cheek, and leans in to kiss him.

He barely even has a moment to wonder if he’s made a monumental mistake before Steve is kissing him back, tilting his head and pressing closer and moving his lips against Eddie’s like this is all he’s ever wanted to do. If the rest of the trailer has fallen conspicuously silent, Eddie doesn’t notice.

The kiss doesn’t last long (not as long as Eddie would like), but that’s alright; it feels like there will probably be more.

“Wanted to do that earlier,” Eddie murmurs as they pull apart. “But I didn’t want you to think it was some kind of last-ditch wish fulfillment because I thought I was going to die. Figured now would be better.”

“Now is good,” Steve says softly; his eyes are a little hazy, a little unfocused (and damn, had Eddie done that?), but they find Eddie’s without trouble. "Now is great."

And then it’s Steve’s hands on Eddie’s face, curled carefully at the edges of his jaw, drawing him in for another kiss. It’s only the feeling of something wet sliding across Eddie’s skin that distracts him and makes him pull back. Steve’s hands fall away, and Eddie reaches up to swipe over his jaw and looks down at his hand.

His heart thumps when he sees red.

“Am I–?” He reaches up again, rubbing his fingers across his skin again, but he feels no pain, finds no injury. “Are you–?” Eddie looks now at Steve’s hand, heart jumping again when he sees more of the same smeared across Steve’s fingers. “Shit, are you bleeding?”

Steve frowns, reaching up with his clean hand to try to swipe the mess away with his thumb. “Sorry,” he mumbles, but he sounds distant now, a little breathless in a way that Eddie can’t blame on any kiss.

Eddie reaches out and spreads his hands under Steve’s jacket, pushing it open to get a good look at him, and finds the damning dark spots spreading across the fabric of the t-shirt underneath.

“Shit,” Eddie hisses. “Shit, shit, Steve–”

“Might’ve pulled something,” Steve murmurs, “fighting Vecna.”

“You think?” Eddie is aware that he’s getting a bit shrill, but he thinks that he really can’t be blamed. “Wheeler!”

Nancy is there in an instant, and Robin is at Steve’s side just as he starts to wobble. She gets an arm around his back and he hisses, reminding them all that the bat bites on his sides aren’t the only wounds he’d sustained.

And then Nancy is barking instructions, and Robin is talking, quiet and rapid-fire at Steve as they sit him down on the couch, and Dustin is demanding to know what’s wrong (and if Eddie thought he’d been getting shrill–), and Eddie only manages to get him out of the vicinity by telling him to go call an ambulance.

“He’s gonna be fine, Henderson, but we need help,” Eddie says firmly, giving him a shove in the direction of the phone. “We’ve got him, he’ll be fine.”

And Eddie hopes to God, to Satan, to who-the-fuck-ever it is he’s supposed to be praying to at this point, that he isn’t lying to the kid.

He’s just gotten Steve – he can’t lose him now.

#kennahjune #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #eddiesteve #Steve will be fiiiine I promise #solar wrote #answers from solar

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lieslab · 6 months

Text

Love is a spider

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: og8 X gn reader

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 9.5K

A/N: To the requester, I may have went a bit overboard by a bit. Can you blame me? Anyway, in these drabbles, you're a bit of a people pleaser and the guys kind of clock you for it. Some of them are softer than others. Hyunjin's is a little angsty because a little angst adds some spice.

I'm so sorry this is out a little later than planned. I have had literally one of the worst weeks of the entire year. I hope that never happens again. Never fear, life goes on and we keep trudging along. I hope everyone is slaying and finding their own versions of happiness. It's almost over now, but happy six years to the band!!

You can ignore the rest of this, but I'm going to ramble because people pleasing can really suck. I wish brains weren't wired that way because people pleasing is not the least bit swell when it's destroying you from the inside out. Some of you baddies out there need to hear that it's okay to put up boundaries and focus on your own happiness.

I wish someone would have screamed that in my face at some point when I was younger. It is okay and normal to put up boundaries. It is not okay for people to walk all over you, belittle you, and cause you mental or physical harm. You are allowed to take up space.

There is one quote that says "stop breaking yourself down into bite-sized pieces. Stay whole and let them choke." I love that quote. I used to be one of the biggest people pleasers around and it made me so miserable to the point where I quite literally had a full mental breakdown. We're only meant for so much until we break.

Practice makes perfect and the more you practice saying no, the better you get at it. The better you get, the easier it is to reinforce boundaries. The stronger the boundaries, the more strength you have, the easier it is to say no. It's so much easier said than done, but I swear, once you start it, it makes life so much easier.

Also the title of this drabble is inspired by the song 'Spider' by Kai Bosch. It's so good and actually one of my favorites at the moment. I keep looping it because that's how much I like it. Now that I've rambled, please enjoy <3

_ _ _

Chan:

Dating Chan had its pros and cons. On one hand, you never had a better relationship with anyone before. Since he was so used to being out in public and interacting with multiple different people, Chan wasn’t afraid of your romantic relationship.

He knew what he wanted and he communicated everything perfectly. Every want, every need, every like, and every dislike, you knew them. On the other hand, you were still figuring out how relationships worked properly. The last romantic relationship you fell into, it left you scarred in more ways than one.

That’s why it took you so long to finally agree to meeting the rest of Chan’s band. It was a huge step outside your comfort zone. The whole day, Chan had been gushing and practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

You weren’t just nervous, you were terrified. Your stomach churned uncomfortably with anxiety. You kept zoning out and internally freaking out. There were so many thoughts inside your head.

What if they didn’t like you? What if you made an awful first impression? What if you screwed something up and made a fool out of yourself? What if they thought you were insufferable? On and on, the thoughts spiraled out of control.

Before you knew it, Chan was driving you to his dorm. It was the place where he figured you’d be the most comfortable. Plus, the guys could scatter about and do their own things. All the attention didn’t have to be on you.

It seemed to be going alright for the first few minutes. Chan introduced all the guys to you and a few minutes later, you needed to use the bathroom. Glancing around for Chan, he had moved out into the kitchen to help Lee Know and Felix with cooking.

Left alone amongst the other guys, you sucked in a deep breath trying to contain your inner panic. A few feet away, Han picked up on your discomfort and asked if you were alright. Upon realizing that he knew your mood, you quickly apologized.

He brushed it off and more time went by. Eventually, you were led to the bathroom. When you came out, you bumped straight into Seungmin. Apologies flew out of your mouth rather quickly. He laughed and brushed it off.

You apologized multiple times throughout the night, even when apologies weren’t needed. Like the time you accidentally spilled your drink. When you sat in a seat that was apparently reserved for Jeongin. When you grabbed a paper towel for Chan and accidentally tore a rip across it.

Chan knew you struggled with anxiety sometimes, but as the night went on, he started realizing just how much you were apologizing. Every time you did it, you looked terrified, almost like you’d be yelled at or lectured. It was to the point where it was getting concerning.

Felix made brownies for dessert. While eating one of them, crumbs fell on your shirt. When Hyunjin pointed them out and began laughing, along with an added joke from Seungmin, you looked like you were about to cry.

Beside you, Chan shot the two of them a warning glare to knock it off. They quickly changed the subject to taunting Jeongin for a terrible dance move he performed during practice. The attention went off of you and onto the three of them.

While the guys were distracted, Chan grabbed your hand and tugged you into the safety of his room. It smelled like the cologne he always wore. Comfort flooded your system easily.

“I’m really sorry,” you started after a few moments.

Chan frowned, feeling confused, “for what?”

“For messing up this thing with the guys. I understand if you want to break up with me. Actually, I can just let myself out.” You reached an arm out and headed towards the door.

Chan leaned forward and grabbed your wrist gently. “Baby, what are you talking about? You haven’t messed anything up.”

“I’m a mess. I’ve ruined so many things tonight. I’m sorry, I-” A lump began to form in your throat.

Chan gently pushed a finger towards your lips. “Why are you apologizing so much? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

You moved your head away with a sniffle. “Yes, I have. I’ve done dumb things and made people uncomfortable. Apologizing is the right thing to do.”

“Made people uncomfortable? You haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“I took Jeongin’s chair for dinner.”

“That’s not a big deal, baby. The guys never have assigned seats. They were just screwing around like they always do. Did something happen somewhere that made you feel like you always have to apologize?”

“But it’s the right thing to do.”

“Yeah, when the time is right. You don’t need to apologize over the small things, sweetheart.”

“The last person I dated kind of made me feel really shitty a lot. They didn’t like a lot of the things that I did and they weren’t afraid to tell me.”

“So…you apologized?” Chan guessed with a raised eyebrow.

You nodded.

“From now on, you’re not allowed to apologize for little things. Every time you apologize for something little during the rest of the night, I’m kissing you in front of the guys.”

“We can’t do that! I’m sorry, but w-” You were cut off with soft lips against your own for a few moments. When Chan pulled away, your cheeks were dark red. You swallowed and tried to regain your composure.

“Aw, you’re so cute when you blush. I guess you’d better stop apologizing, I mean, unless you want the guys to see us kissing.” A teasing grin began to stretch across his face.

Without even thinking about it, you reached up and playfully slapped his chest. Realizing what you did, panic flooded your face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry! I-”

You were cut off once again by his lips against yours.

_ _ _

Minho:

With a sigh, Minho kicked off his shoes and placed his car and house key onto the stand by the door. He jerked off his jacket and hung it up on a hanger. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he crept towards your shared bedroom door.

His feet slid over the floor through the darkened house. His fingers grabbed the brass knob to the bedroom and he slowly opened it. The soft hum of the fan filled the air. The room was pitch dark. He pushed the door open further and stepped inside.

“Minho?” Your voice called out. You popped up out of your bundle of blankets and turned on the bedside lamp. Both of you blinked at the sudden brightness.

“You’re up?” He asked. “You’re seriously up, again? Baby, it’s really late and you have work early in the morning. I know you want to see me, but you need to get some sleep.”

“I know, but I wanted to see you.” A frown filled your face. “I missed you so much and I just couldn’t wait.”

He moved over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. You watched his bare back as he ripped off his shirt and slid into a different one. Realizing you were staring after a few seconds, you averted your eyes. “So how was your day?”

“It was alright,” he shrugged.

“You’re not going to give me the specifics?”

“Nope. Not now. We can talk about that in the morning. Right now, you need to get some sleep.”

“But I-”

“Nope. Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you’re sleep deprived.”

“But I’m not!” You tried to argue back.

“Is that why you keep taking naps on the weekends?”

“Well…” You couldn’t fight back because he got you there. Staying up after midnight really was taking a toll considering that you had to be up at six in the morning. The days you stayed up later, you struggled through exhaustion.

Lately, you spent your days nursing coffee and energy drinks, trying to bring back the momentum, but they could only do so much. Recently, it seemed like you were more irritable and Minho was right. Brown bags sat beneath your eyes, your energy was low, and your co-workers kept making sure you were alright.

“I don’t want to make you unhappy,” you finally got out. “I really love you, you know? You usually look really excited when I’m still up. I like greeting you when you get home. I just want to make you happy.”

Minho headed over towards the bed, pulled down the blankets, and slipped beside you. “You make me happy in a lot of ways and I love you too. Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings if you’re sleeping when I get home. In fact, I want you to be sleeping.”

“I love seeing you, but you look really cute when you’re asleep too. Imagine if you woke up in my arms. That sounds so exciting. Imagine you get enough sleep and you wake up to me holding you. The perks? You get enough sleep and I get to snuggle you.”

“And you’re okay with that? Because I could continue to stay up and I-”

He leaned up and lightly flicked your nose. “You need to get some sleep before your co-workers show up at our house. Yesterday, you said you were really freaking one guy out because you kept falling asleep while standing up.”

You finally nodded in agreement. He tugged you towards his chest and plopped down on his pillow. “When we wake up, we’ll have the most amazing breakfast and I’ll tell you all about my day and you can tell me about your day.”

“Promise?” You asked.

He nodded and shut his eyes. You laid there soaking in his warmth until you shifted. You shut your eyes, but nothing happened. You shifted again and again until Minho opened his eyes again. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t get comfortable and my brain won’t shut off.”

“Probably because I came home an hour earlier tonight. Your body is used to going to bed around the time I come home later.”

“I can’t help it!” You huffed clearly annoyed as your lips stuck out in a pout. “I feel like something is missing, but I don’t know what.”

“Maybe if you wouldn’t have been a brat and stayed up until I got home,” he started.

You stuck your tongue out at him and shifted again. Silence filled the room as the two of you tried to sleep. After a few more minutes, you jerked into a sitting up position. Beside you, Minho frowned with his eyes closed. “I think you’re right, something is missing.”

You thought about it for a while before your eyes widened. You jerked off the blankets and scrambled to get out of the bed. Beside you, Minho finally sat up and watched you nearly faceplant as you left. “Where are you going?”

“We forgot to get the cats!”

“The cats?” His face twisted in confusion. “The ca- Holy shit! We forgot the cats!” He shoved off his own blankets and scrambled after you.

Twenty minutes later, the two of you were sound asleep. Snuggled in different parts of the blankets were Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. The five of you fell asleep rather quickly comforted by the warmth of one another and the tranquility that transpired around the room.

_ _ _

Changbin:

During the first week that you dated Changbin, you bought him a shirt he mentioned he wanted to you in passing. When he unwrapped the soft pink wrapping paper and he unraveled the shirt, the happiness sparkling in his eyes locked in your brain.

During the second week of your relationship, he mentioned he really liked a new drink that he found at the grocery store. When he joked that it was the only thing he wanted to drink from now on, you took that seriously. You bought him multiple packs of it to keep in his dorm refrigerator.

When the second week wrapped into the third, you bought him a new pair of Airpods because he lost the last pair. You couldn’t stand his frown and how bummed he was about it. When you replaced the exact case that he had also lost, he nearly hugged you to death.

He didn’t realize what you were doing at first. At first, he thought your actions were cute. He knew some people showed their love through giving gifts. Sure, he felt a little guilty about it, but you looked so happy when you handed them to him. You were practically a little ball of sunshine that he couldn’t resist.

The last thing you got him, you took your time wrapping it, and you brought it straight into the JYP recording studio. You knew that he’d be there finishing up his recordings. As you were going in with your box, Chan and Han were coming out.

“Oh,” Han’s eyes lit up, “what’s that?”

“I bet it’s another gift,” Chan teased.

“Wow, Changbin is so lucky.”

“You really know how to spoil him rotten.”

You laughed and responded. After talking for a few more moments, the two walked off to head back to their dorm. Apparently, Changbin was still inside finishing up the last few lyrics of a song.

You knocked a few times before you pushed open the door. Changbin was in a black t-shirt with a face mask tucked beneath his chin. His eyes were narrowed down in a notebook and his pencil scribbled rapidly. “What did you forget this time?”

“Uh…nothing?”

“Oh!” His face lit up. “It’s you! Hi, baby! Give me a moment to finish writing these lyrics. How did you get inside? I didn’t think security would have let you in.”

“Well, they probably wouldn’t have, but Felix was talking to the security guard when I came up. He told him to let me in because the two of us were dating. The security guard seemed hesitant, but Felix does what Felix does best.”

“Melts the hearts of everyone around him with his angelic being?”

“Yeah, something like that.” You laughed and placed the wrapped box down on the studio couch. Changbin continued scribbling for a bit and you stood patiently with your hands folded in front of you.

“Alright, I’m finished!” He pushed his chair away from the wooden desk he was crouched over and glanced back towards you. “Should we go get dinn- oh, what’s that?”

“It’s a present.”

“That looks like an awfully big present. Should I be scared?” He raised an eyebrow as he studied the light green wrapping paper. There was a big silver bow on the top of it.

“I think you’re really going to like it.” You picked it up and handed it to him. He was shocked by just how big it was. The thing easily fit across the length of his lap.

He hesitated before he grabbed a piece of the folded paper along the side. A loud rip filled the air as he jerked it. At first, his face lit up as he revealed the internal packaging, but it didn’t take long before his face fell.

You purchased him the lego set that he had been admiring in the window of your latest trip to the mall. The lego set was pretty big and it easily cost a couple hundred bucks. At first the gesture was sweet, but this was too much.

“You don’t like it?” Your voice came out softly.

“No, no, no! I-I do, but I…” He sighed and sucked in a deep breath. “Baby, why do you buy me so many gifts?” His eyes went up to meet yours. There was genuine curiosity on his face.

“You don’t like the gifts?”

“I do like the gifts, but I’m starting to think you’re spending way too much money on me. Why do you feel the need to buy me so many gifts? A lot of what you’ve been buying costs quite a bit of money. I don’t want you to waste your hard earned money on me.”

“I’m not wasting my money on you.” You suddenly felt like the size of a grape. All that happiness and joy in your heart, all that excitement slipped out of your heart like a deflated balloon. “I just wanna make you happy.”

“Honey, you make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, even without these big gifts. I like that you want to make me feel happy, but this,” he tapped the box of legos, “this is too much. I feel bad for receiving this. This costed so much of your money.”

You couldn’t help it, tears filled your eyes. He instantly frowned and shifted. You frantically blinked trying to keep them from falling, but they dripped onto your cheeks. You wiped them away as Changbin placed the legos onto the floor. He leaned over and pulled you close to him.

“Hey, hey, hey, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I don’t want you to spend all this money on me. I want you to spend all this money on you. I want you to be selfish for yourself.”

He wiped more fallen tears and tugged you onto his lap. You sniffled and allowed him to. “Why do you feel like you need to buy me such large items?”

“I-I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’m not good enough. Maybe if I buy you things you really like, maybe you’ll stick around. Maybe I can buy your love and I-”

“Woah, woah, woah. Buy my love?” He gently cupped your cheeks between his hands. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to buy my love. Not at all! I’m with you because I love you. I wouldn’t be with someone if I didn’t like them.”

“I’m afraid you’ll leave,” you whispered.

His heart broke even more and he shook his head. “If I was ever thinking about leaving you, I’d bring it up to you. I wouldn’t keep you in the dark about anything like that. Relationships are very serious things and I’d never shut you out or try to hurt your feelings on purpose. Never.”

“So no more gifts?” You asked.

“Well, I won’t say that. You seem like you really like giving gifts, right?”

You nodded your head. He wiped his thumbs beneath your eyes again. “If you’d like to give me gifts, how about something small? Like maybe one of my favorite snacks? Or you could do something else.”

“Like?”

“We could go on adventures together. We can go half and half and go on fun dates. Hyunjin just recently told me about a couple’s private pottery class that his pottery teacher hosts. How about something like that? We’ll make memories together, have fun, and we’ll have a shared experience.”

“I guess that does sound pretty good.”

He smiled and gently poked your cheek trying to cheer you up even more. You blushed and couldn’t help, but smile back. Your eyes went down to the lego set beside your feet. “Are you really going to make me take it back?”

“Why not?”

“Because I really want you to have it and I spent good money on that. Plus, I don’t want to go back to the mall. They’re going to ask why I want to return it and I’m not good at lying. I don’t want to admit that my boyfriend didn’t want it.”

“Well…” Changbin’s eyes followed yours. “It is a really cool lego set and you did spend a bunch on it. I would like you to take it back, but I will admit that it’d look super cool in my room.”

“So will you keep it just this once?”

He sighed before he caved. “I suppose, but this is it! If you do something like this again, I’m forcing you to take it back. I’ll hold your hand and drag you into the store. I’ll make it as dramatic as possible, so you’ll be too embarrassed to ever do it again.”

Your cheeks went red again as you nodded in agreement. Changbin’s gaze went back up to you. “So how about we take this back to my dorm with the rest of the guys? I’ll order us food and we can put this together. Maybe we can have the other guys help us because this is going to take hours.”

“That sounds like fun.”

“Maybe even a full year to put together.”

“I don’t think that’s how this works.”

“You don’t know that. What if it takes a century? How about a millennium?”

“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.”

“I can’t help it!” He tossed his hands in the air. “I live with Hyunjinnie! What did you expect to happen? 3racha doesn’t just rub off on Hyunjin, he rubs off on us too!”

_ _ _

Hyunjin:

“You’re being such a fucking bitch!”

They were just words, but it might as well have been a slap in the face. The look of hurt on your face was one that Hyunjin would never forget as he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door after him. He slammed it hard enough that the walls shook.

You shut your eyes and sucked in a deep breath trying not to cry. You were under a lot of stress from work and he was under stress from some stupid controversy that had happened with his band. It was a minor thing, but the management team was grilling all of them behind the scenes.

The argument was just a simple miscommunication on both your ends. You were both irritated and frustrated due to external factors. It wasn’t much of a surprise when the two of you started to argue, but you didn’t think it’d get this far.

With your head down, you walked over to the couch. You collapsed onto it and curled your head into the arm. The mixture of high strung emotions whirled into a tornado and now both of you were hurt. Your heart ached due to the cursing and all Hyunjin could feel was guilt.

You cried and cried and cried until you ended up crying yourself to sleep in the living room. Outside, Hyunjin went on a walk trying to clear his head. He couldn’t believe he had said something like that to you. He was absolutely gutted about it.

If there was an award for the world’s shittiest boyfriend, he’d have it in the bag. He couldn’t believe he fucked up this badly and it was absolutely unforgivable. His brain started to spiral out of control.

What if you broke up with him? What if you never wanted to see him again? What if you went to the public and released this information to the press and the fans? He nearly had himself in tears as he took off running back towards the apartment. God, what would his band members think? They’d never forgive him for this.

Nearly tripping over his feet, soaked in sweat, he shoved open the door and rushed inside. He walked through the brightly lit living room and was about to head towards your room until he found you curled up into a ball on the edge of the leather couch.

For the first few moments, he was smitten. Your back moved up and down slowly as soft snores came from your mouth. He couldn’t have been outside longer than twenty minutes.

It was quickly ripped apart when he remembered what he did. Remembering it was like a knife fileted across his stomach. He sucked in a deep breath, moved over to you, and gently shook your shoulder. He softly called your name trying to get you to wake up.

You shifted at the touch and hummed softly. Your eyelashes were clumped together from tears. When you jerked your head and blearily opened your eyes, Hyunjin’s heart crumbled at the sight of your bloodshot eyes.

“Baby?” His voice called out softly. He gently stretched a hand out towards you. He held his breath waiting for your reaction.

“Hmm?”

He sat down beside you quickly and tugged you into his lap. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I’m so sorry for calling you a bitch. I-I don’t know how to make it up to you, but it’ll never happen again.” His eyes became glossier as he spoke. His voice wavered as if he was on the verge of tears.

“It’s fine,” you weakly got out. “We were both upset and you snapped. It’s not a big deal.”

“But it is a big deal. I hurt you terribly and said something that never should have come out of my mouth. Darling, I’m so, so, so sorry.”

“I’ve been called worse,” you mumbled. You were still half asleep with your head on his chest. “I was kinda being a bitch, so you weren’t wrong.”

“No, you weren’t! I was being an asshole. Please don’t ever accept me calling you names. Never accept anyone calling you names. It’s pathetic and it’s low. You’re so much better than that.”

“Not really,” you shook your head, “it’s okay, seriously.”

Tears dripped down Hyunjin’s cheeks. Not only had he done the unimaginable, but now he realized you had low self-esteem. He shook his head, unable to accept your words.

“No, it’s not okay. You are beautiful and you are lovely. You are a wonderful person and you’re very intelligent. You’re someone I can’t live without and, best of all, you’re my muse. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

“I-”

He cut you off, “no. You don’t get to say mean things about yourself. You don’t get to accept what I told you. I was a fucking piece of shit and I hate that I can’t take back the words. I’m sorry, so please, if it’s okay with you, just let me hold you for a while.”

The tears were back in your own eyes as you nodded. You had been called a variety of names in your lifetime. Once upon a time, with an awful friend, you accepted every awful thing they said about you. You were too afraid to stand up for yourself, so you took in the words constantly.

You heard them so much that you began to believe them. Internally, those words had damaged you far more than you’d ever admit. There were thorns in your heart that still jutted out.

Sure, Hyunjin’s words and the actions that followed, they really were wrong. Nothing he could say could take them back, but, at least, he was trying to make it right. You couldn’t stand the way he looked with tears in his eyes.

You adjusted yourself and wrapped around his torso like a koala. He hugged you against his chest tight and rested his head on top of yours. He was so glad that you were still here and were willing to hear him out.

_ _ _

Han:

“I’m really sorry,” you got out with a grimace. “I know, I know I shouldn’t, but she’s my friend. I can’t leave her hanging all alone. She’s a mom now and I bet that’s really exhausting.”

Han frowned while watching you lace up your shoes. For the third time, you were canceling the date that the two of you were supposed to go on. All he wanted to do was spend time with you, but your friend kept taking advantage of your kindness.

It was okay, at first, and he understood. Parenting could be hard and it was healthy to take breaks. However, your friend kept constantly asking you to watch her kid. She never paid you for it and she asked in the spur of the moment. There was never time to preplan anything which kept throwing off what you had with Han.

Your boyfriend’s patience and understanding only went so far. In your eyes, you were trying to be a good friend. In his eyes, you were being used as a free babysitter because your friend didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of having a kid. It was frustrating and it was annoying, especially when it kept ruining your date nights.

“I’ll be back later,” you managed to get out. You were starting to feel upset about the situation yourself. Dealing with a baby, one that was only a few months old, was a lot of work.

After being at work all day, you wanted to lie down and cuddle with Han. You wanted to go with him to do some low energy activity and then come back home and cuddle. Both of you were introverted and you liked it that way.

Dating an introvert was the best decision you ever made. Sure, occasionally, the two of you liked to go do something you both enjoyed. Most of your time was spent at home where you were relaxed. You weren’t overstimulated and you weren’t overwhelmed.

“What’s the reasoning this time?” Han grumbled, unable to stop himself from being bitter. He was tired of your friend’s bullshit. If she wanted you to watch her kid so much, the least she could do was pay you.

“Um…” You trailed off knowing that your response would upset him.

“Is it something dumb?”

“I-I guess,” you shrugged, “she wants to go to the bar.”

“Are you being serious?” He whined. “Baby, that’s not fair! She can wait until the weekend to get plastered, it’s literally only Tuesday! I made restaurant reservations in an hour and now I have to move them again!”

“I’m really sorry, but she’s my friend.”

“She’s using you!”

“But she ju-”

“Why are you making excuses for her? You know that I’m right. This isn’t helping your relationship with her. You’re not getting paid for this either. You’re babysitting her child and now, when she gets home, you’ll have to babysit her too because she’s going to come home drunk.”

“What am I supposed to do? She’s my friend! I can’t just leave her to suffer alone and I-”

“Woah,” his eyes widened in shock, “since when is parenting suffering? Your friend knew what she was getting into and you know it. She planned this pregnancy and she went on and on and on about all the baby books she read.”

“I know that it’s hard to be a single-parent. It’s overwhelming and it’s awful, but you know what? I love you!” Your face scrunched up in confusion from his words. “And I don’t like seeing you being taken advantage of because you’re too kind.”

“You keep chasing after your friend and you keep giving her an excuse to abandon her duties as a parent to go have fun. It’d be different if this was planned in advance and if you were being paid for it or something, but she keeps doing this!”

“But-”

He held up his hand to silence you. “This time she wants to go to a bar. The last time, she had a nail appointment. The time before that? She wanted to go to the bar again. When you’re a parent, you have to do what’s best for your child and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself.”

You stayed silent hating that he was right. Ever since your friend gave birth, she had been leaning on you a lot. It made sense, in the beginning, and you didn’t mind, but it was starting to become a huge issue.

It’s not that you didn’t like her child because you did. He was adorable and he listened well, but you didn’t want to have a kid and the responsibilities that came with it. At least, not at this time.

“I don’t want to hurt her feelings,” you finally admitted. “I feel really shitty if I say no. I just…I don’t want to be an asshole.”

“I know you don’t.” Han walked towards you, grabbed your hands, and tugged you off the couch. “But does it really make you an asshole if you’re putting yourself first? Sometimes you have to give people some tough love. Your friend can’t avoid her parenting responsibilities forever.”

You let out a sigh and nodded your head. “I’ll go talk to her. I’ll come back and-” You paused before your eyes met his own sparkling eyes. “Is it alright if I meet you at the restaurant?”

“Really?”

You nodded again.

He screeched in delight and jerked you over his shoulder. You shrieked as he spun around and bounced a few times. Your shrieks turned into laughter as he cheered.

Once he finished, he put you back down. “I’m so proud of you for creating boundaries.” He reached over and planted a gentle kiss on your lips. “I’ll text you the restaurant location and then we’re getting drinks to celebrate. Now,” he shoved you towards the door, “get out and go talk to your friend.”

“I believe in you and you can do this! No matter what happens, even if it backfires, you’ve got this! Honeybun, you can do anything and handle any problem that comes your way. Wait!” He rushed towards you and placed a kiss on your cheek. “For good luck!” He beamed.

You laughed and thanked him as you left the apartment. Once you were outside, you sucked in a deep breath. This was terrifying and anxiety-inducing. You were sure your friend would be upset at your decision, but Han was right, you couldn’t keep bowing down to your friend and watching her kid all the time.

It wasn’t making you happy. It wasn’t fair to the baby because you weren’t their parent. It wasn’t fair that your friend was able to keep avoiding responsibilities either. As you approached your car, you reminded yourself silently that Han believed in you. In turn, it made you believe in yourself too.

_ _ _

Felix:

It was all going wrong. Everything was going wrong. Felix’s birthday was today and you were screwing up massively. You had everything planned out perfectly and then your mother ruined it.

Usually, you put aside extra money to splurge on things. You weren’t the best when it came to money. In fact, you struggled with it. Every time you had money, all you wanted to do was spend it. It was a bad habit that you had just yet to break.

Lately, you had bought a few gifts for Felix. You picked out a few new games for his Nintendo Switch that you’d thought he’d like. Plus, you found a few new articles of clothes that were his style. You even managed to purchase a bottle of the fancy cologne he liked to wear because you realized he was getting low on it.

You splurged on the wrapping paper and the gift bags. Gift wrapping wasn’t your forte, but you were determined to impress Felix. This was the first year the two of you were dating and you were excited to throw him his own small party between the two of you. You spent nearly three hours on YouTube studying the perfect way to wrap gifts.

When you found the video you liked the most, you took another two hours following along and neatly following the tutorials. You kept the gifts hidden beneath your bed and away from Felix for a few days, so he had no idea.

You went out of your way to design a special cake. There was a bakery in the area that had raving reviews. They made custom cakes and you already had an idea of a cake you wanted to create. Since he spent so much time playing Animal Crossing and listening to Animal Crossing music, you wanted to get him to follow that theme.

You were making a simple sketch of what you wanted. You planned to take it down to the bakery and have them create it. You had a price range and everything. Everything was perfect and then your phone rang.

You were on your way towards the bakery, it wasn’t far away. When you picked up the phone, you realized it was your mom. You swiped the call and pressed the phone up to your ear. “Hello?” You answered.

You paused and listened for a moment before your face fell. “Did you seriously? Mom!” You cried out. You couldn’t help the frustration that built up in your voice.

“Don’t you ‘mom’ me!” Your mother shot back. “You’re old enough that you should be giving back to me. I helped raise you! I put food on your plate and a roof over your head! I fed you and I gave you an education.”

You gritted your teeth and rolled your eyes at her response. After a while, you hung up the phone frustrated and upset. You returned back home and tried to fall back into your usual upbeat persona. You must have done a good job because Felix didn’t realize that something was wrong.

The day before, you went to your mother’s house to help her make a meal. You put the small backpack you carried with your jacket. What you didn’t realize was that while you were out cooking, your mother got into your things and stole the cash you pulled out of the bank, specifically, for Felix’s cake.

She constantly harassed you for money and sometimes you gave in. You couldn’t help it. Every time she pulled out the excuse of raising you, you felt guilty. It was like a kick to the back of the knees and you collapsed every time.

You struggled to figure out what to do. You didn’t want to borrow money from anyone. You definitely weren’t going to make Felix buy his own cake. You didn’t want to wait until the end of the week before your next paycheck came in, so you decided on the next best thing.

The next best thing, apparently, wasn’t the best idea. You thought you were making the recipe right for homemade cake, two days later. Everything was going alright until you tasted the batter. You instantly gagged and spit out the mixture.

As you flipped back through the recipe, you realized that you had followed the recipe perfectly. However, you somehow managed to mix salt with sugar. The supposed sweetened batter was now a salty wreck.

You cursed beneath your breath and dumped the mixture. You pulled out another bowl to remake and remeasure everything. While you were trying to recreate the recipe, Felix walked right into the kitchen.

His sudden appearance caught you way off guard. You jumped while pouring flour and suddenly the bowl of half-made liquid cake was coated in way too much flour. A lump sat in the back of your throat as your face fell.

“Oh,” Felix frowned, “I’m so sorry, baby. I thought you heard me come through the door. What are you making? I’ll help you remake it.” He sent you a reassuring smile, reached over, set a hand on top of your head, and playfully messed up your hair.

All you could think about was how much he would have loved the Animal Crossing cake. The cake would have been moist and light. The frosting wouldn’t be too sweet and it wouldn’t overwhelm him.

A strangled squabble came from your throat. Felix blinked in confusion and raised an eyebrow. “Baby, are you alright?”

“I was supposed to get you a cake!” You blurted out. “I had this plan to get you an amazing cake with Tom Nook on it. I was going to recreate your little house and your character. It was going to be so cute and t-then-” you sucked in a shaky breath feeling like you were going to cry. “My mom took my money when I was at her house. I-I’m so sorry.”

“It was going to be a cute cake. It was going to be custom made and it was supposed to be here, but I couldn’t even pay to have the bakers make it. I wanted to put it here and surprise you. I was going to make you a homemade one to try and make up for it, but I keep fucking it up.”

A soft smile filled Felix’s face. “You were going to get an Animal Crossing cake for me?”

“You love that game a lot.”

“And I also love you a lot. It was an incredibly sweet idea, but don’t beat yourself up over it. I’ll be more than happy to have anything you bake me. I know you’d bake a homemade cake with plenty of love. That’s something that Tom Nook doesn’t know anything about.”

You suddenly broke into a laugh as tears filled your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you finally finished. “I’m just really not having a great day. I should be having the best day ever. You popped out of your mom’s womb on this day and that was the greatest gift of all.”

“Woah, okay, how about we stop right there?” He laughed. “We really don’t need to talk about my mother’s womb.”

“I should call her and thank her.”

“I don’t know how she’d respond to that. So anyway, what about your mom stealing your money? Is she going to give it back?”

And so, you and Felix worked side-by-side making a third cake batter and placing it in the oven. He listened to you ramble about your mom while the two of you tossed ingredients into a bowl. You explained how guilty she made you feel and how you’d occasionally give her money because of that guilt.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s healthy. You don’t owe your parents anything. As a parent, it’s their responsibility to provide for you. They shouldn’t be making you feel guilty for that.”

“I can’t help it, it’s the people pleasing part of me.”

“I understand because I’m like that too sometimes. You’ve just gotta do what’s best for you. Your mom can be a little…um….”

“Crazy?” You finished for him.

“Well, I was looking for a nicer word, but yes. She can be a little much sometimes. You seem to be a lot happier when you don’t interact with her. I think you should focus on what makes you happy.”

The two of you continued to talk. When the cake was baked, Felix leaned over to pull it from the oven, and you rushed to your room to grab the presents you had. He placed the cake on the stove to let it cool. When he turned back around, he blinked in shock.

A few wrapped presents and a gift bag sat upon the counter that the two of you had just cleaned up a few moments prior. When his curious eyes met yours, you smiled at him. “Just because I couldn’t get the cake, it doesn’t mean I couldn’t spoil you with gifts. Happy birthday, baby.”

_ _ _

Seungmin:

Seungmin’s heart stopped beating when he heard you sobbing. He just came home from the studio. There wasn’t time to take off his shoes. His brain instantly went to the worst thing and he sprinted towards the sound.

He didn’t knock, he just shoved the bedroom door open with wide eyes. You were a wreck with your face in the pillow. He rushed towards you in a panic. “Hey, hey, hey, why are you crying?” He hurried over and plopped down beside you.

His hand instantly went towards your back to comfort you. Upon hearing his voice, you cried into your pillow harder. There was something embarrassing about being vulnerable in front of your significant other.

“Baby, please talk to me. I don’t know what’s wrong if you don’t tell me. Did something happen?” He gently scooped his hands beneath your stomach and shifted you into a sitting position.

A thousand what-ifs were locked into his head. You sucked in a shaky deep breath and let out another sob. He frowned and wiped your tears away. You hiccuped through the final few sobs.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered in a shrill voice. “I-I just-”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you like this.” He frowned and wiped away your tears.

“M-My friend,” you managed to get out.

“Your friend? What happened? Did they get injured?” Fear struck his heart. “Did they die?”

You shook your head again frantically and your hair shook from side to side. “T-They just keep saying things a-and-” You burst into another sob.

His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His arms wrapped around you while you sobbed. While he held you close to him, there was a vibration from beside you as your phone received another notification. Your fingers clenched around his arm and you cried harder.

Seungmin tried to console you, but you were a mess. He pressed his lips against the top of your scalp and continued to fight off your tears. He shushed you and rubbed your back. When your phone vibrated again, he finally glanced down at your phone.

Your head was buried in his chest. You were a wreck from what your friend was telling you. More quick vibrations filled your phone with every text sent your way. Seungmin’s eyes didn’t leave the screen as more and more text notifications filled the screen.

“Baby, who’s texting you?”

You didn’t respond. Your fingers clutched onto his shirt tighter. You buried your head in his chest more as if it’d help you escape your inner turmoil. The tighter you clung to him, the more worried he became.

He’d never seen you to the point of being unconsolable. Sure, you had your rough days before, but not like this. When your phone vibrated again, he didn’t ask. He reached over, unlocked your phone, and he glanced at the text messages.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he definitely wasn’t expecting to find one of your close friends screaming every obscenity at you imaginable in capitalized letters. His jaw instantly clenched and his hand tightened around your phone screen.

“Baby, why the fuck are you being cursed out?”

“B-Because,” you hiccuped, “I said I didn’t want to hang out with them.”

“So why are they cursing at you?”

“They’re always like this when they don’t get their way. I’m h-having-” you hiccuped again, “a bad day and t-this just-”

“Was your tipping point?”

You sniffled and nodded. Seungmin frowned and scrolled through a few previous text messages. “They’re really always like this?”

“They’re kind of mean when they have a bad day.”

“Kind of?” Bewilderment stretched his eyebrows up. “Kind of?”

He read a little more and gasped. “I know this dumbfuck didn’t just call my significant other ugly. Now we have our own little beef. Ugly? Have they considered looking in the mirror? The love of my life is no such thing.”

He didn’t even ask, he just responded. When he was quiet for a while, you pulled your head out of his chest with wet cheeks. “What are yo-”

“Putting this cunt in their place.”

“Seungmin!” You cried shocked at the insult.

“Don’t ‘Seungmin’ me. They just said you looked like you were inbred and they have a big storm coming their way. I won’t let an ugly cunt insult the love of my life. Not when they look like they were shaken in the womb and came out disfigured in more ways than one.”

“You cannot be mean back!” You reached out and attempted to grab your phone. He jerked it out of your reach. “Seungmin!”

“I’m just getting to the good part, baby. Wait until I tell them that a New York City rat has more manners and class than them.”

“Seungmin!”

“Swing low and I go lower,” he shrugged innocently, “maybe they shouldn’t have been so mean. They can start it, but I’m ending it.”

You sighed, but you let him go. He seemed to be really focused on your phone. His eyes were narrowed and his thumbs moved frantically over the screen. He typed for quite a while before he hit the send button.

“Do I even want to know what you said?”

“Nope. Don’t worry,” he pressed a few more buttons, “because now you never have to deal with them again.”

“What did you do?”

“Blocked them after giving them a long insult that will be sure to affect their family for multiple generations after them.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I’m not going to sit by and let an asshole insult my favorite person.”

You softened instantly and glanced up at him with heart eyes. “I’m your favorite person.”

“Maybe. It might have just slipped out. Anyway,” he stood up and grabbed your arm. You followed along and let him lead you into the bathroom. He pushed you in front of him and stood with his hands on your shoulders. You stood staring at your reflections in the bathroom mirror.

“What are we doing?”

“You’re going to repeat after me.”

“But I-”

“Nope, you’re not getting out of this. We’re going to stand here for five minutes and recite positive affirmations to dust off that negativity. After that, who knows, I might put a curse on that motherfucker.”

“Seungmin!”

“I’ll let Changbin beat them up and allow Lee Know to shove them in the air-fryer. Just wait until Felix finds out what they did to my precious gem. The sunshine is going to turn into a tornado and rip them apart. Now repeat after me, I am beautiful.”

You hesitated at first, but after a while, you were repeating the affirmations through laughter and smiles as Seungmin tickled you. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone off on your friend, but you were precious to him and he hated to see you cry. He’d do anything to cheer you up.

_ _ _

Jeongin:

Another day meant another chance to thrive. In your case, it was another day to sleep whenever you could fit it. Today, it was in your car. You barely got into the driveway and got the car turned off. You instantly slumped forward and pressed your head against the cool steering wheel. You fell asleep rather quickly and were like that for a while.

Jeongin was used to coming home and finding your car in the parking lot. You got home an hour before him on most days. It wasn’t much of a surprise when he saw your familiar car in the parking lot. He parked his car behind you and shut it off.

After climbing out, he yawned and lifted his arms above his head in a stretch. There were a few quick pops from his spine and he hissed. Today, the band had dance practice. His body was sore in more than one area.

He shook out his limbs and began to head towards the apartment until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. With a frown, he glanced over towards your car. It took him a moment before he made your slumped figure out in the driver’s seat.

His eyes filled with horror and he rushed towards your side of the car. He gripped the side of the car and tugged on the handle. Unfortunately, it was locked. Panic engulfed him and he knocked on your window frantically.

You groaned at the noise interrupting your sleep. You shifted, but you didn’t lift up your head. Upon seeing this, he knocked at your window harder and tried to tug the handle again.

Realizing someone was attempting to get into your car, you finally glanced up to find your boyfriend at your window. His eyes were full of concern as he gestured for you to unlock the car.

You reached over, hit the unlock button, and you yawned. Jeongin flung the door open and hurried to your side. “Are you okay? Baby, please look at me.”

When your sleepy eyes met his, his worry increased. He gently grabbed your chin and turned your head to the side. His eyes scanned for a head injury. “Are you alright, sweetheart? Did you hit your head? Did you pass out or something? Have you eaten anything?”

“Hmm?”

“You were unconscious in the car.”

“Oh, yeah,” you shrugged, “I fell asleep.”

He let out a sigh of relief, stroked your chin a few times, and finally let go. “You scared the fuck out of me. I thought something had happened and I was going to have to call an ambulance. If you wouldn’t have unlocked the car, I probably would have broken the window.”

“I’m alright, I swear. I’m just tired, that’s all.” You rubbed your eyes with another yawn. “I’ve gotta head inside and get some sleep. My boss is probably going to want me to come into the office again early and stay late.”

“Baby, with all due respect, you’re like a walking zombie. I know you like pleasing your boss and the money is good, but this isn’t healthy for you.”

You let out a groan, but Jeongin stood his ground. “I know you don’t like hearing it, but you know I’m right. You need to focus on what’s best for you. Sometimes that means making sacrifices that might make other people unhappy, occasionally.”

He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Let’s get you inside and taken care of. Have you eaten anything today?”

“I haven’t had time, honestly.”

He frowned again, but he didn’t lecture you. “Let’s start there and then we can go on. Let’s get you a quick bite to eat and then get you to bed, alright?”

You nodded in agreement. He held out his hand and you intertwined your fingers with his. You let him slowly tug you towards the house. Still half-asleep, you didn’t mind the babying he was doing for you. He plopped you down in a kitchen chair.

You rested your head in your hand and nearly fell back asleep. He quickly made the two of you instant ramen cups to share. You were teetering on the edge of conscious and unconsciousness. He gently shook you awake, so you can eat.

The two of you managed to have a decent conversation despite your yawns and tired voice. You managed to get halfway through the ramen before you nearly knocked it over as your body twitched while falling asleep.

He chuckled and moved your ramen away from you. “Alright, come on, let’s go.” He stood up, grabbed your hands, and gently tugged you up. “Let’s go get you all tucked in, sleepyhead.”

You hummed in agreement and let him lead you to the bed. He helped you out of your work clothes and into a pair of pajamas. When he was finished, he led you towards the bed and he tucked you beneath the covers.

Bending over you, he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you sleepily mumbled with your eyes shut.

“Promise you’ll start to work less overtime? I don’t want you to fall asleep on the road and get into a car accident. I want you to be safe and healthy.”

You weakly nodded your head in agreement. He planted another kiss on your head before he laid down beside you. Happily, you snuggled into his warmth. His arms wrapped around you and he rested his head on top of yours.

You fell asleep rather quickly, but it took a little longer for him to follow. He was nearly asleep until your phone chirped with a new notification. Groggily, he reached over and grabbed your phone off the side table.

He stared at the text message from your boss and then he glanced over at you. You were sleeping rather peacefully and he didn’t want to wake you up. Taking his time, he slowly removed himself from your bed and crept with your phone out into the kitchen.

Far away from you, he called your boss and explained that you had been overworking yourself. When your boss heard about how little sleep you were getting, they were instantly struck with guilt. Jeongin got permission for you to take off the next two days.

You now had Thursday and Friday off, so you could catch up on sleep and recover. After that, you were free during the weekend. On Monday morning, he made sure you were able to go in at normal time.

Maybe, you’d be able to work overtime as long as you didn’t overwhelm yourself with it. Jeongin couldn’t help it, he was worried about you. If you were upset and thought he’d overstepped his boundaries, that was a conversation the two of you could have the next day.

For now, he placed your phone back on the side table. Climbing back into the bed, he wrapped his arms around you. He tugged your sleeping form close and let out a sigh of relief. With a calm mind and a fluttering heart, he’d finally join you in the land of dreams.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡|

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#stray kids #stray kids drabbles #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #kpop fanfic #bang chan #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stay

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muneca-lemon-steppa · 1 year

Text

Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 3

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader

Words: 4,990, Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Sexism, Arguing, Man trying to get with reader.

A/N: AAAHHHH PART 3?!!? Guys this is so much fun for me and I'm so glad you guys are having fun too. Is it weird that I feel like we are doing this together? Also guys just to warn you... we are getting a little angsty,,, a little violent... So if you are not into it, comment and I will give you the general plot of this chapter if it become too much! Anyway please enjoy, love you guys so much! And if I forgot to add you to the taglist I am so sorry! Just lemme know and I'll amend it! And if you need to see the other parts, click the tag with the title of the series, and it should have all the parts together! Ok I’m done!

The home of Alfie Solomons was the quintessential diorama of an old man's bachelor pad. Despite the anxious and angsty attempts by his elderly maid Sarah, the home still carried the air of a man who not only preferred to be left alone, but also had no plans of adding anyone into his inner sanctum. There was paper and documents strewn about, half read books piled by his favorite chair, a hosting bar cart that was looking more ancient than him, and a massive dog making his home on the floor in front of the roaring fire. Alfie silently thanked Sarah for her efforts. Sarah was the best housekeeper he could have ever asked for, she was essentially silent, and did not scold him for the ever present animal pen he kept. Then only things she asked for was to be paid on time, for her Sabbath to be uninterrupted, and to be warned ahead of time if there was to be company. Luckily, he never had to concern her with the last item.

With a grunt he landed on his favorite chair, studying the unused love seat and the matching chair to his that sat across from him. It was a set that was meant to host, that was meant to have visitors and entertain. He had no idea why he bought them, they looked exactly as they did when he bought them three years ago. Untouched. And yet he couldn't help but imagine you sitting so prettily on the chair beside him. With every inhale he could smell the lingering scent of you on his jacket lapel. Clean, like plain soap and fresh air. A kiss of lavender oil that washed over him as you flipped your hair out of your face. He could see so clearly you laughing at his jokes, pouring out tea for you and him, rubbing Cyrils face and giggling at Alfie's gruffness. He could see you darning a small sock...

With a groan Alfie rubbed the visions out of his eyes like a dream. Because that's what it was isn't it? A stupid stupid dream. You were so... fresh and sweet and... frustrating and loud and obnoxious and such a know it all and... beautiful and kind and smart and...

Alfie huffed and got up to beg for sleep in his room, but his head on the pillow only ran through these reveries even more. You were much to young. 10 years his junior at least. You were pure and kind, and he was a bad man. It was an unequal yoke to carry. He had killed people in the war and at home. He had manipulated and schemed to get this. And you deserved more. You deserved a good man, a softer man. Someone who lived a quiet life and could give you a life above board, where you never had to look over your shoulder. Someone who was gentle and wouldn't argue with you, would just treat you like the Queen of Sheba. That is what you deserved. Not some old gangster with a bad back and dozens of men plotting his demise. With a sigh he resolved his promise. He would take care of you as long as you let him. Protect you from all the mess and nonsense of this job, and let you be the girl you are. And when it was time to let you go... he'd let you go. He could protect you and honor you ask long as you'd let him, but when the right man came along, he’d let you leave, knowing that you were safe. And with a sigh he rolled over, letting himself sleep for a few hours, his mind slipping off into a world where you maybe chose him, and made that other chair your favorite.

Across Camden you had just finished explaining to your mother that your very kind boss had just brought you home after a late night in the office. You had to assure her that you were safe and that he was very respectable, that no danger was present. Though the constant worrying and fussing irritated you sometimes, she was a good woman, a good mother, who just wanted the best for her oldest child.

Your mother and father got married incredibly young, and were forced to become acquainted with the world and it’s imbalances even earlier. Where you still got to be young and childless and educated, your mother at your age had already had you, and was working in the family tailors shop full time. The day you realized your mother could scarcely write her name, you heard your mother sobbing to your father late in the evening. It was then that you resolved to do your best in everything, making sure your mothers sacrifices weren’t in vain. And if it took a little white lie to keep her from having a heart attack? Well… it would be worth it.

“Ah I just don’t know darling, that seems awfully forward don’t you think? I don’t even remember your father being alone with me ever until our wedding night? Are we sure he is a good man? Do you have anything with you in your purse darling?”

“Mama I promise you everything is fine. I think his insistence in NOT letting me walk home is evidence enough yes?”

Your mother fiddled with the end of her long braid, a habit indicating her anxiety, a motion you know well, “Mmm I suppose… but darling I just worry. Young women now… very very independent and it is good but… oh I just don’t want you to be taken advantage of darling. Will you take a weapon or something with you?”

You laughed, and maybe you shouldn’t laugh at your own mother. But… oh it is your mother!!! The sweet woman that she was! Who refused to go to sleep without a candle, and forbid your father from cleaning his gun around her, and dropped many a plate due to loud noises… what does she know about a weapon!! “Mama what weapon?! Shall I bring a hand gun to work? Mama none of us know how to use a gun, except Papa and Eli! I’m ok I promise! My boss is not a dangerous man!”

From her place in the kitchen cabinet you heard her speak, “Oh hush! Of course not a gun!! You are absolutely ridiculous. No just take this pocket knife ok? Oh please don’t look so disturbed! It is in good condition and your father got it for me when he would have to work late at the tailors! Will just put it in your work bag please? For your poor mother? If you love me you’ll do it!”

With a laugh and a kiss on her soft cheek you affirmed her, “Of course mama, I could never refuse your gifts. Now now mama don’t be cross i am not teasing! Just promise me you don’t worry about me anymore! I am a grown woman and I am very capable of taking care of things. I learned from the best yeah?”

You mother nodded and kissed your cheek back, patting your head, “Yes yes. Well thank you my love. Now I’m off to bed, and you should too. Sleep well my darling.”

As you prepared for bed you felt a heaviness in the pit of your stomach. What would your mother say when she found out you had been lying to her? What if she did find out? What if she sees you with Alfie in the street? No no it wasn’t possible. Your mother hadn’t left this side of Camden in a decade, and she hates going farther than two blocks. No no it’s fine. You’re fine. And technically, it wasn’t a complete lie! No Alfie was honorable! And he was sweet! And he was handsome… and kind…. and smart… and rugged… if he weren’t a gangster you would’ve probably been matched with him… to be his wife.. No no! No what a childish fantasy. Those are the thoughts of a love struck child. He was your boss and that was it! So what if he was handsome? You were his secretary and that was it! And if he somehow decided to… promote you… you allowed a giggle to leave your chest as you blew out the lamp next to you. Tomorrow is another day.

Soon you developed a routine with Alfie, and the next few months seemed to fly like a wonderful dream. During the week you woke up, making yourself and Alfie lunch for day. The walk to the bakery was typically a lovely and brisk one, with the rising sun being your partner.

Upon arriving at the office, you make quick work of saying hello to the regular faces, and sneaking a sweet treat to Ollie. You set the kettle on, making sure a nice hot cup is ready for you and Alfie upon his arrival. A healthy amount of milk and sugar for you. Almost no milk for Alfie, but extra sugar. Then the daily schedule needs to be attended to. After working with Alfie for a few months you’ve developed a system of who gets what treatment. Some names get tea and a pleasant seat. Some get very bitter tea and must stand the entire time while they wait. Some get absolutely nothing, and are made to stand with their back to Alfie’s door, wondering how they will be summoned. Shot or call. During the meetings you take copious notes. Partially to make sure you don’t miss anything that Alfie will need to call upon later, partially to make visitors nervous about what is being recorded. You had become quite the necessary tool for Alfie. You added a certain glamour and class to the office. A sort of authority in the way you walked that continued to make weak men sweat in the office. Alfie’s favorite part of these meetings was having you re-read what was said, noticing that you added a certain something to keep the pressure on the other party. You were proving yourself an absolute natural.

It was during a day like this when Alfie came back from a ‘social visit’ with a big smile on his face, “Shalom treacle!! Get your coat darling we’re going out!”

You looked up from the calendar you were organizing, “Shalom Alfie, what do you mean we are going out? You have an appointment at 2, and you need to look at the numbers from last week and-“

“Hush woman, fuck the meeting I said we are going out.”

He grabbed your long coat from the hook, and held it open for you to put it on, “Now my love we have very special things today. You remember the gaming club Tommy mentioned? Well he found a place right? And today we are going to look at it and get a price for it.”

As you put your arms through the sleeves, and grabbed your scarf from Alfie you can’t help but question, “But what does this have to do with me? Why do you want me there?”

Alfie then finished his dressing of you by handing you your bag and offering you his arm, “What does this have to do with you? What does this have to do with you? Have I heard that right? Well my dear you put the fear of the devil himself into men like no other. Make them piss themselves. No no don’t laugh treacle it’s true! I need you to strike fear in the hearts of these sinners and help me find the holes. Think you can do it darling?”

The way he smiled at you… it made you want to do anything and everything for him. You smiled and nodded, “Let’s get on with it then.”

Alfie smiled even greater at the small smirk that played on your beautiful lips. He loved it when you worked with him like this. You walked arm and arm, laughing and carrying on like mischievous children ready to prank their teacher. You arrive at the possible location still laughing when you meet Thomas Shelby, and two other men, who you can only assume are the other Shelby brothers that you’ve heard so much about. Your eyes meet with Tommy’s, and you feel your stomach drop at the wink he gives you before walking toward you and Alfie. “Alfie, glad you could make it, “ he stoops down to grab your hand and kiss it, “Good to see you again darling. Let me introduce you to my brothers.”

You’re introduced to both Arthur and John. Your eyes soften at both their faces. John’s eyes show a soft mirth, a sweetness of a young man who still has so much to learn, much like Eli. Arthur… just looking at him your heart is heavy. You don’t know anything about him but his eyes look sad, and there is a weight to his shoulders that make you already feel quite sorry for him.

It takes about three flights of stairs to reach the top floor of the building. It's musty, clearly has not been used for some time, there are cobwebs and piles of dust over every counter, and the once white cloths covering the tables are now a dingy gray. Your wide eyes look up and around the space, clutching your notepad and pen to your chest, "What did this place used to be?"

Tommy answered, "It was once a bar, a little club run by some young idiot who thought he knew his way around this business. Couldn't make it past a year. Now.... it's been sitting vacant. Waiting for us."

You stray from Alfie's side, making notes of everything that would need to be done, "What all is included in the sale?"

"Everything. Tables, counters, fixtures, chairs. All for a reasonable price if you ask me."

"Mmmm Alfie will be the judge of that I think. Alfie, the wall paper will need to be redone yes? I think a richer color on the walls."

Alfie looked at Tommy and smiled, "Yes you're quite right treacle. A wine red yeah? Something indicative of the debauchery of such a hell hole."

"Mmm yes. Tommy, John, Arthur... how stable is this bar counter? How much would it cost to replace it?"

And so went the rest of the afternoon. You milling around the space making notes and sketches, and supplementing with the comments of the men in the room, who may or may not have been following you like ducklings. John and Arthur pulled curtains to let light in, and frankly John was more than willing to do what it took to gain a pleased smile from you. Once adequate notes had been taken, everyone sat around a table, waiting for the agent to come by and agree to a price.

During this part of the meeting, you tended to hold your tongue, only responding to when Alfie asked you to ‘refresh’ his memory on a particular point. It was these parts of the meetings that you could really see Alfie work his magic. Tommy Shelby and Alfie Solomons couldn’t be more different. Where Tommy was smooth and steady in tone, Alfie was a hurricane. A bear of a man who ripped things to shreds. Though on the surface it looked as though Alfie was merely destroying and rebuilding on a whim, there was a method. Study his opponent, memorize the motions and responses to his moves, and utilize it against them. Use previous information to flip and return on his enemy. It was a studied craft. Something you knew that had worked on for a long time. It was an art piece, and with every wink he threw your way, it was clear it was not just an act, but a piece of him. He was a gangster, through and through.

Soon enough, a deal was reached, and a plan was set in place for renovations to start the very next day. And in accordance with their 50/50 split, equal men of Shelby’s and Solomons’ men would be taking part in the work. All the men shook hands, you nodded and smiled at the Shelbys, quick to rebuff Tommy’s offer to take your hand again. Alfie seemed to be in a particularly good mood, and as you walked out of the building, he looked at you and said, “Oi... you hungry?"

You stopped and peered up in his eyes that were partially obscured by the wide brim of his hat, "Mr. Solomons are you asking me to dinner?"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh goodness... see this is why you can never be nice right? Because there you go... being cheeky with me... can never be a yes or no with you yeah? It's always got to be something with you innit? I mean - "

"Alfie Alfie! Yes I am hungry! Now take me to dinner and buy me a drink yeah?" You laughed at his blustering and grabbed his arm, making him meet your eyes, he huffed in response but couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Buy you a drink yeah buy you a drink! Buy you a hobby so you stop harassing old men. I mean don't you have anything better to do than just be mean to your old boss?"

You laughed as you both walked away down the street, "What do you mean a hobby? My whole life now is just doing your bidding isn't it? And someone must keep you humble, all that business makes your head explode."

You let Alfie lead you to a clandestine pub a few blocks away, shrouded by family businesses and laughing people. As soon as Alfie walked in, the wait staff scurried around, clearing a table in the corner for both you and Alfie. Soon enough you had been given food and drink, and you felt increasingly more relaxed in your seat, facing away from the door opposite of Alfie. You allowed yourself to day dream in the comfortable silence you occupied. It didn't feel like dinner with your boss. It felt like dinner with a friend. Dinner with more than a friend. You imagined about what it would be like with Alfie all the time. To spend the afternoon with him walking through town, enjoying the sun and the conversation. To be taken to dinner with him, meet with friends and repeating faces. To be taken back home with him... sit in front of his fire... to fall asleep with him...

"Hello... treacle??" You're knocked out of your reverie with Alfie's bejeweled fingers waving in front of your face.

"Oh my gosh Alfie I'm so sorry! Yes whats wrong?"

Alfie laughed heartily head thrown back, "Goodness darling your mind must've been in fucking Timbuktu! I was asking if you wanted another drink?"

You felt the heat flush to your ears and cheeks and chuckled in your embarassment, "Oh my goodness I'm so embarrassed. No no I'm fine Alfie thank you. You go, I'll keep our table."

Alfie nodded and went to the bar to grab another glass of Rum. You proceeded to look around the cozy pub when a man slid into Alfie's seat. "Well hello beautiful. Mind if I sit here?"

Your eyes rushed to him. Young. Could be handsome if he cared to bathe and wash the stink of liquor off of him and change his shirt. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was sweaty. Stupid. Clearly so. "I'm sorry but you must be mistaking me for someone else. I'm here with my boss and you are sitting in his seat."

He sneered and winked at you, "Oh I saw the old man alright. Solomons yeah, I know him. I'm not too worried about the old man darling. Why don't you come sit with me yeah? I promise I am much more pleasant company."

The irritation was brewing in your stomach, but in truth you didn't want to cause a scene, "If you know Mr. Solomons then you either have a death wish or you are stupid. Please leave and get away from me. Mr. Solomons will not be happy to see you in his seat."

"You calling me stupid?"

"I am. You are clearly an imbecile, and a drunk one at that, now if you excuse me."

You proceeded to get up to find Alfie, when the man stood up and grabbed your arm, "You dumb bitch, how dare you get up. I'm trying to be nice to you!"

The table fell over with a clatter, and you began to scream, "Get off of me!!"

Before you could say another word Alfie came through wretching the man's hand off your arm, squeezing the man's neck."Now you listen to me right? You apologize to the young lady right now."

The young man's face began to slowly turn red, but he managed to splutter out, "Or what? You're gonna hit me with your cane?"

Alfie only seemed to squeeze tighter, and you saw something in Alfie's eyes that you've never seen before. It scared you. "No... no no... this is what's going to happen. If you don't apologize to the sweet young lady here. I will kill you. If you do apologize, I will not kill you. Now I think... I think that is a pretty generous offer yeah? And little man... I think you know who I am. And I think you know that killing little vermin like you doesn't bother me the least bit yeah? So what will it be? Quickly now!"

Without Alfie letting go, the slowly purpling face gasped out, "I'm sorry. I'm so... sorry ma'am."

You nodded back, feeling bile rise in your throat. Alfie dropped the man unceremoniously on the floor with a crack of the table. Without looking away from the gasping man he yelled to seemingly no one and everyone, "OUT!"

Every patron but you and the owner scrambled out with out a second thought. The bar owner locked the door and went to the back, and you felt your pulse quicken ringing in your ears. The sick in your stomach swirling. Alfie circled the still gasping man, who had bruises blooming on his throat, "Now... who taught you to grab women like that eh? Who said that was ok?"

The man didn't respond, and in anger Alfie kicked him right in the ribs. You screamed behind your hands as you heard the sickening thud and crack. Alfie grabbed the man by the collar and shoved him against the wall, 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU THINK YOU CAN GRAB MY SECRETARY! YOU CAN GRAB MY GUEST?"

The young man began to sob, begging, and saying he was sorry. Alfie only continued, "Oh you crying now yeah? I thought you said you knew about me and weren't scared. That's why you thought you could harass my sweet secretary yeah? Well let me get you better acquainted."

With that, you saw the Mad Baker of Camden for the first time. Beating and beating and beating the man in front of you. Blood coating the knuckles of Alfie, as the young man's face proceeded to take the most brutal beating of it's life. You tried to stay quiet but it became too much, "ALFIE ENOUGH! It's enough Alfie!"

He paused, fist mid air as the man quivered underneath him. Alfie turned to you, "Enough? It's enough?? This man touched you without your permission and this is enough?!"

"You're going to kill him Alfie! Please enough!"

"I determine when it's enough!"

And he went back to punching him, growing more and more wrathful. And it became too much when the groans stopped, but the punches didn't. All you could do was scream at Alfie and weep. When Alfie finally finished and was heaving, you shoved a napkin in Alfie's hand and left without a word.

You began walking down the street, the tears streaming down your face. You didn't want anyone to see you crying, and the slowly setting sun aided. It was going to be an hour walk home. Your feet will hurt by the end of the night. But you didn't care. You needed the walk. You needed the air. You needed the scent of blood out of your nose and the sight of Alfie out of your mind. You had walked for who knows how long when you heard Alfie's voice yelling over the sound of a car, "Get in the car NOW!"

You looked over your shoulder, Alfie was yelling your name out the window of the car, with Ollie driving. You turned your head back and kept walking forward. You kept hearing Alfie curse, yelling your name, "Stop being a child and get in. DO AS I SAY NOW!"

"OR WHAT? YOU'LL BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE??"

You tried to keep walking, but in a dangerous move the car sped and swerved in front of you, blocking your walk. You gasped as Alfie got out of the car, with a red stained, jeweled finger in your face, "Listen to me... you stop this act. You get in the car right now. You can be angry at me all you want but listen to me... you do not walk home alone. You work for me, you don't walk alone at night. Now. Get. In. The. Fucking. Car."

Tears were still streaming down your face, and you were so so angry with him, but you didn't have a choice. And your feet were hurting. With a huff you walk in the car, not letting him hold the door open for you. You sat in your seat, nodding at a very embarrassed looking Ollie. As soon as Alfie sat next to you, you stared out the window, looking at all the apartments whose occupants were definitely not listening in to your argument. You sat in silence for a few moments, but you couldn't hold it in any longer, "That was too far Alfie."

"I decide what is too far."

"You could have killed him."

"And the world would be better for it."

"You cannot treat people like that Alfie. He was just a child."

"A child who definitely would have hurt another woman in the future, he needed to learn a lesson."

You turned to him then, "Oh and that's how people are taught then yeah? Beating them to a bloody pulp any time they make you upset?"

He leaned in to your face, getting dangerously quiet, "This is my life darling. This is what you signed up for."

You scoffed, "I did not sign up to be a witness to you being a beast! This is not a way to live! This is heinous! You don't have a right to treat people this way!"

You didn't realize your volume, or the way your heart was racing. You were heaving, tears streaming down your face. His eyes... fixated on you. There was rage but you knew it wasn't at you, "I have every right darling. This is the life that has been given to me. Everything that I have, everything that I can give to you, Ollie, and the rest of the men in that distillery, is because of what I do. This world that we live in darling? You think that's fair? Nah... that ain't fair. If you want anything in this life... you need to take it. Grab it with both hands and never let go and never let anyone else take it. This is the way this world works beloved. This. This is what you signed up for. Now either grow up... or don't come back to the office."

You breath stopped. You didn't even consider that option. You felt more tears fall as you turn to face the window again. The rest of the car ride was in agonizing silence. You hated every minute. Alfie made no noise except a huff. After an infinity, you finally reached your home before you could move Alfie put his hand out, "Don't get up yet."

He grumbled as he got out of the car, looked around at both ends of the street, and then went to your door, opening it and helping you out. You refused to meet his eyes but you took his hand. You also let him walk you to the door, and as you reached for the door, you hear him cough and say, "I want you back at the office treacle alright? Course I do. But you really need to decide whether you can handle this. I hate seeing you upset I do darling. But this is who I am. This is the business. Now you need to decide if you can do it. Alright?"

You nodded your head limply. He just patted your head, feeling sick in his stomach, "Alright then. I'll know your answer if I don't see you tomorrow. Good night sweet heart."

"Goodnight Alfie." You whispered, turning your back quickly to run upstairs. Alfie would drive home in complete silence that night, agonizing about what would happen.

You ran past your whole family gathered around mending the laundry in the sitting room. You refused to tell you mother what happened, and didn't let Eli in your room. When your younger sister asked you what was wrong, you just cried in her chubby baby arms, while she patted your head with her child palms. You cried in your pillow, reliving the vision you saw, wondering what to do. You didn't want to see that kind of violence, you had never seen anything like that. But you loved this job. You loved your freedom. You loved spending time in the office, laughing with Alfie and meeting new people. You tossed and turned all night, but sleep would not take you. It was well past midnight when you finally felt the exhaustion of the day creep its' fingers over your eyes.

And then you smelled the smoke.

Tag List: @jokersqueenofchaos @hoodeddreams13 @satur9-saturnalia

#alfie solomons #peaky blinders #alfie solomons x reader #alfie solomons x you #alfie solomons x y/n #alfie solomons fanfic #Interviews for New Beginnings #peaky blinder fanfic

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fandoms-writings · 1 year

Note

For your requests, how about "You're not as bad as everyone says you are." with biker!Bucky? Only if it sparks ✨ inspiration ✨ for you my love ❤️❤️

I know this prompt was under fluff but this turned out wayyyy more angsty than I intended - i'm sorry lol

Pairing: biker!bucky x reader

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: angsty, a look at bucky's internal turmoil, they're going through it right now, descriptions of the aftermath of the nefarious things bucky has to do but nothing too descriptive. bucky's really sad in this i'm sorry

Masterpost || Bucky Masterlist || Event Post

When Bucky had to do the unthinkable for the club, he had a certain 'ritual' to help him cope with it.

You'd come up with it actually, something to help him not spiral into the self hatred that his actions could bring. Keeping his head above the sea of nasty words his self conscious liked to try and drown him with.

He'd come home, his choices from the day wearing down his shoulders, making him drag himself into the bedroom where he'd peel off his leather cut and toss it to the chair in the corner. Usually he'd sit there hunched over his knees for hours, stuck in a mental spiral, replaying the events from the day. Screams echoing in his ears. A stickiness to his fingers, his nails and knuckles stained red.

But in times like this, when you weren't speaking to him, he'd remember what you would do.

You'd pull him into the shower, washing the day off of him before making him eat a sugary snack, something sweet to get the endorphins going again. Then you'd sit him down on the couch with the show he loved watching with you and you'd snuggle up to him, combing your hands through the length of his hair, scratching his scalp.

He looked around the room, traces of you still there. Your necklace on the nightstand. A sweater discarded in the same chair his cut lay. One of your bandanas that you'd wear under your helmet tied to the bed frame.

And your helmet.

It sat out on the dining table, untouched in almost two weeks - since you went back to your place saying you needed time.

He understood. You had every right to be mad at him, he just wished he knew how to fix it.

But being late to date night and showing up a bloody mess is kind of hard to fix.

So, he sighed, gathering himself before he stood and headed to the shower. He peeled his clothes off, leaving them in a mess on the floor while he got under the water - he would deal with them later, it was one thing at a time right now.

With you not being here, he liked using just a little bit of the soap you'd left, it being the only way he got to smell you until you came back - if you came back. He stood under the water, watching the suds and pink droplets swirl down the drain as the look of disappointment on your face flashed in his mind.

He hadn't meant to forget about date night, he really didn't. He'd just gotten roped into some club business, and when he tried to explain it to you, you shook your head. The anger in your eyes was unlike anything he'd ever seen - he'd never see you mad before and it'd frozen his feet in their place.

"If this is going to work," You'd gestured between the two of you, throwing your bag over your shoulder, open, "you need to figure out how to balance club life and our life. I'm not going to be the girl waiting for you to come home in one piece, if at all."

"I can't just not handle business when it needs to be handled," He'd argued, his tone rising in his heart's cry for you to put your bag down and stay. "I can't abandon the club when they need me."

"That's not the problem," you pushed past him, "You didn't call, you didn't text. I was at the restaurant for two hours, James. Two." You turned and pointed to him, "You abandoned me tonight."

"I'm sorry, okay?" He followed you around the house as you gathered random things of yours, shoving them in your duffle bag, "I'll make sure to call next time."

"Next time?" You spun on him, a look of bewilderment in your irises, "You're assuming there's a next time?"

Dread filled his chest as he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. Suddenly, it didn't matter what he was going to say. He just wanted you to stay, not to leave. Not to leave him.

"Bucky I was left at that table, in the dress you picked out," You shoved a finger in his chest, "for two hours while you were off doing whatever it is that you do." Your hand gestured to the red stains on his pants. "And you'll never tell me what you're doing out there, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out it's dangerous."

He waited as you took a breath, zipping up your bag with a huff as your shoulders shook.

"I'm sorry," He muttered again but your head shook.

"I don't care," You turned to him with tears in your eyes, "You can be sorry all you want. But I didn't even know if you were coming home at all tonight. Or if you were headed to the morgue in a body bag."

It was that comment that punched him in the gut, and still replayed in his mind when things were too quiet. You weren't really mad about date night. He was supposed to be your calm, your safe space. He wasn't supposed to cause you anything but happiness and pleasure. But he hadn't even given you the courtesy to call you and tell you what was going on.

You walked out after that, saying you needed time to figure out if you wanted to come back at all, and as the days passed, he was starting to think your side of the bed would remain cold forever.

You were it for him, he didn't want anyone else, and he never would - he knew that.

But on nights like this, while he scrubbed the blood out from under his nails, he wondered if you knew it.

Did you know how far gone he was for you? How he'd do anything for you, that if it wasn't you in his life, it was no one.

He wondered if he could have both. You and this life he'd created. You, in your tender adoration. The way you cared for him. Loved him. And his life with the club. Being part of a stronghold like that. Being a nightmare for some. Seeing the things he did. Doing the things he had to. Making the necessary decisions no matter how morally questionable they were.

He knew people talked badly about him around you, warning you to stay away from him. That he was dangerous. A bad man. And he knew some of it was true.

He was dangerous, not trusted by most.

But you told him something once, the first time you'd seen him come home from club business covered in bruises and blood, seeing the internal turmoil those choices caused him.

"You're not as bad as everyone says you are."

With those words replacing the agony that had been swirling his head, he gets out of the shower, drying off and getting dressed with a purpose.

He was going to see you, and make sure you know you're it for him, no matter what. As long as you know that, your choice is yours.

But first, he needs to pick up a sweet treat. He decides he'll pick up your favorite.

Maybe, if things work out, you'd share it with him.

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanficiton #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x f!reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #remisneonparty #em <3 #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #biker!bucky x reader #biker!bucky

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pandora-writes-one-piece · 20 days

Note

AYYYYY CONGRATS ABOUT 100 FOLLOWERS!! You totally deserve them all and even more!! I mean, your story with Kid and reader about scottish mafia was 11/1 score! Truly mesmerising!!!

And I wondered if you wouldn’t have anything against writing Killer x male!reader, nothing nsfw, maybe a little smooch and cuddle session in the end, that would be awesome!

And this is one of the ideas I had roaming in my head; original OP au would fit the best)

Killer went to investigate area, got bitten by a wild wolf-alike thing, got back to the crew, he acted normal after going to infirmary, but every hour it got darker outside he was ‘not like himself’, while Victoria Punk is still docked at an island — he transforms and freaks out completely, then he runs away and reader is beyond than worried, crew was alarmed and they all went to search for him, he’s a grown ass man — we all know — but the unpredictable happened and it’s all going to the point of reader finding him inside a forest, then… you decide what happens. Comfort? Tragedy? Attack? Peace?

I understand that it may not be your cup of tea and I totally understand, anyways, thanks for reading this! (It may be Kid x male!reader also huehue)

Hello anon!!

First of all, thank you soooo much for your kind words! They truly warm my heart! Second, I'm so sorry for the delay on this request, but with vacation, wanting to finish the Highlander Kid story, and... well, life (!) this took a while. Also, I meant this to be short and sweet, but it turned out long and a bit angsty! I guess my need for angst keeps showing... 😫 I do hope you still like it! I had fun with this story because it explored so many new things I'd never written about! Without further ado, and seriously hoping you'll like it, read on!

Source for Pic

Word Count: 5112

Tags: Male!Reader x Killer; Supernatural AU; Mentions of blood; Cursing; Fluff and angst; Angst with hopefull ending (if you squint hard enough); Feelings;

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: Killer gets bitten on a routine scouting mission and dismisses it as a minor wound. Turns out it was anything but a minor wound. As he starts to transform into something else, you try with all your might to bring him back home. Back to you.

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz

MASTERLIST

It was routine.

Scouting a new island was routine work. Boring, repetitive, mind-numbing routine work. And Killer wasn't even the one who usually did it. But this island was special. This island was fabled to have a single tree, hidden somewhere in the midst of a thick forest, that was said to produce the most fragrant, delicious, mouth-watering fruits known in the New World.

And Killer just had to get his hands on it. Period.

Perhaps if he wasn’t so worried about finding this fruit, he would’ve noticed the unnatural fog that permeated the forest. How its thick tendrils wisped their way around him, grasping, enveloping, and suffocating.

Perhaps if he wasn’t so keen on tasting that new flavour, he would’ve seen a pair of glowing, bright yellow eyes, following him from the shadows, moving as swiftly as the fog.

Perhaps if he wasn’t already inventing recipes in his head, trying to figure out if the fruit paired better with meat, fish, or dessert, he would’ve heard the faint rustle of the leaves, the low snarl of the wolf-like creature, the soft crunch of twigs beneath its paws as it jumped to strike.

Perhaps if he had turned a second earlier, or ducked, or rolled over… perhaps, only perhaps, he wouldn’t have been bitten. Instead, he felt a sharp, intense pain right on the shoulder blade, sending throbbing jolts of discomfort through his neck and down his arm.

A heavy grunt left his painted lips, muffled by his mask, as he turned, releasing his punisher and fending off the creature that fled with a loud yelp. It was bigger than a wolf, larger than a wolf, heavier than a wolf.

And it disappeared just as fast as it appeared.

-*-

Killer passed by you on the deck of the Victoria. His mask had a streak of red across it and he was clutching his right arm against his bare chest, his shirt pressed hard against his shoulder blade. Under normal circumstances, the sight of the Massacre Soldier half-naked, usually brought a grunt and pulled a smile from your - often - pursed lips: he was a sight!

Today was different though.

He seemed to be in pain, from the slight strain with which he carried his arm, his steps heavy while grunts and puffs left his veiled lips.

“Kill, you alright?” You asked, worry lacing your voice, his hisses of pain shadowing any previous lewd thoughts that crossed your mind.

“Yes, yes. I'll manage. It’s a minor wound, I just need to get it stitched. Go back to your duties.” His barks were laced with a commanding tone and a very out of character irritable timbre. You and Killer were very good friends - in fact, he was much more than that to you. He was an unattainable crush, the recurring wet dream, the never-possible love story you wished to fulfil.

Yet, you knew better than to disobey an order from the first mate. So you stayed on deck and finished your duties, a slight hurry to your step and gestures, a frown of worry distorting your face.

-*-

“What the fuck is that?” Kid barked as he got his face close to Killer’s wound, nose scrunched in disgust and lips pulled upwards, showing his sharp teeth.

“Fuck off, Kid. I got bit by a fucking wolf. Where’s Doc?” Killer grabbed a whole bottle of rum and poured it on his shoulder, hissing and grunting as the golden-brown liquid poured down his back and front, dripping onto the floor.

“Hey! That’s a waste of good rum!” Kid growled as Killer lifted a bit of his mask and took a swig of the liquid before pouring the rest over the wound.

“Fuck, it hurts!” The first mate threw the bottle on the floor and punched the wooden table, gritting his teeth under his mask.

“Doc went to buy supplies. I can stitch that up.” Kid offered. Killer’s snickers were muffled by the mask, but still heard.

“No, it’s better if you don't. I’ll wait. It’s just a minor injury.” Killer grabbed a bunch of bandages from a nearby cabinet and sat down, a disgruntled groan leaving his lips. “Just help me bandage it up.”

-*-

Your duties took way longer than expected and by the time you finished, the orange in the sky was turning into a purplish blue, nighttime approaching fast. That meant Killer would be by the galley. It was Thursday, and Killer usually indulged the crew with some pasta on Thursdays.

After washing up, you decided to help him - it was not an excuse to check how he was! - since from the looks of it, his arm might’ve been too wounded to cook properly.

Yet, as soon as you got to the galley, the kitchen was eerily empty. There were pots with simmering water that still hadn’t reached the boiling point, and half-peeled tomatoes on the counter.

But no Killer in sight.

“Kill?” You tried to sound cheerful, but worry laced your voice turning it raspy and hoarse. “I came to see if you needed help.”

Listening carefully, you tilted your head to the side as you slowly went around the counter. “Kill?” You heard a soft sound - a muffled whine - coming from the pantry. The door was closed so you approached carefully. Each step you took seemed to be met with another whine. Was it Killer?

Your heart beat rapidly against your chest, your breath came in shallow, fast waves and you felt a drip of sweat run down your back. Inhaling, and unconsciously holding your breath, you pushed the door open.

“Kill?” You almost didn’t recognize your own voice. It came out in an altered timbre, much higher than usual. And much more frightened. Because the man cowering in the corner of the pantry, curling his body against the lower shelf, was Killer.

Yet… not quite.

“Are you alright?” You started, taking a very small step inside. He had removed his shirt - or never put it back on - and had ripped the bloody bandages he must have used to wrap his wound, as they were scattered on the floor, all around him.

But what startled you the most, was the fact that he had removed his mask. You had never seen him without his mask on. Though his face was still obscured by his long, blonde bangs, you could make out the smeared purple lipstick on his lips and - gods, this made your heart jump into your throat - his tear-stained cheeks.

That set your fears to the back of your mind and your determination took the spotlight as you took two big strides towards him, hands outstretched and eyes wide open. “I’m here, Kill. Whatever you need, I’ll help. Need me to go get Doc? Kid? What do you need? Speak to me.”

You urged as you knelt in front of him.

A ragged cry left his lips as he wrapped his arms around his torso. He seemed to be in pain, yet you were confused, wasn’t it his shoulder that got hurt? Why was he clutching his body?

“My wound!” His desperation cut like knives through your heart. “It’s almost healed!” He moved his shoulder towards you and you gasped. You weren’t quite sure what he meant by ‘almost healed’, because the whole thing seemed pretty inflamed to you.

He had an assortment of red gashes, the middle ones more pronounced than the others, and the flesh seemed torn. As if something had bitten and just ripped it apart, leaving tendons and muscles exposed. It was a wound that required stitches! Yet, upon closer inspection, you realised he was right. The smaller gashes seemed to have scabbed over, and the bruises around them were already turning a greenish-yellow, instead of being at their most inflamed.

From a wound made a few hours ago, that seemed impossible! In addition to that, the veins in his arm seemed to be protruding and were dark and purple, almost visibly pulsating .

“Okay, okay, I can see that. Let’s get you to the infirmary and see what the Doc can do to help you, alright?” You said calmly, your hands reaching towards him, but he whined again as he shrank deeper beneath the shelf.

“No, no, no. I don’t feel like myself! I don’t want to hurt you!” He grunted as his hands clawed against his chest, leaving angry red marks across it and you managed to glimpse his fingernails. They looked sharp - almost claw like - and blackened. “It hurts! On the inside! It’s like I’m being ripped apart! Fuuuuck!” His animalistic, primal roar made you take a step back.

Whatever the fuck had bitten Killer was not a normal beast.

“You won’t hurt me, trust me.” Extending your hand to him, you prayed that Doc knew some mythical way to heal him, because from what you were seeing, you had already come to a conclusion about what was happening.

And you didn’t want to be right about it.

Though you were rarely wrong.

“Get the fuck away! I can't hurt you! Not you! I-...” Except he didn’t finish his thought because in the next moment, Killer let out an ear-piercing, mind-shattering scream that bristled all the hairs on your body, trapping your next breath in your throat.

A quiet, eerie silence surrounded you as Killer crouched, his breath coming out in ragged pants as he got on all fours. You could barely describe what you were seeing to anyone who dared ask. His back was twitching, expanding, growing bigger and bulgier. His blonde mane fused to his back creating what seemed like a coat of fur that spread to his body. His arms and legs twisted and turned into unnatural shapes as bones cracked and elongated.

You could scarcely believe your eyes as you realised that, where once there were hands and feet, now stood paw-like extremities, complete with sharpened nails - resembling lethal claws - perfect instruments to hunt prey and run through thick forests.

Your initial thought was right.

He was transforming into some kind of creature, a werewolf would be your first guess.

Killer’s scream died out in a decrescendo as his ragged pants dissolved into a heavy, guttural breathing. As he crawled out from under the shelf, his hands - paws? - clicked against the wooden floor in slow, deliberate motions, you glimpsed his eyes peering at you from behind his fur-like bangs.

The blue had turned into a sickly yellow, his pupils enlarged and black as the darkest night. His face seemed to have elongated somewhat, though he still had some humanity left in him. However, what terrified you the most was his smile. A feral-like grin that showcased large, sharp canines.

He didn’t seem like the Killer you knew at all.

“Kill?” You tried hesitantly. You didn’t know much about werewolves, as you thought them to be mere lore and myth. Yet, here you were. Face to face with one. The man you loved, to be more precise. “Are you still there?”

A deep growl was your answer.

If he wasn’t completely gone, he was teetering on the edge. “Stay with me, Kill. We’ll find you a cure.” As with any animal, you were sure that if you showed fear, he would attack you. So you needed to remain in control. Cool and collected.

Which was easier said than done.

“Come on, Kill. I’ll help. Come out of it.” A sure step forward elicited a small, gentle yelp from him as he shook his furry head. Though, just as his eyes turned more blue than yellow, and his body lost tension, the door to the galley burst open and boisterous crew members came inside laughing and jeering, asking for pasta, startling Killer into a frenzy.

He growled and snarled as he lowered his head in position to strike. “No, Kill. It’s okay, it’s just our crewmembers, it’s alright.” You tried to remain calm, but the way his paws retracted, his claws leaving deep scratch marks against the wood, was making you tremble.

It took just one surprised scream.

And Killer leaped over you. His hind legs hitting your head with such brutal force that they knocked the breath right out of your lungs. And just like that he was gone.

-*-

“What the fuck do ya mean Killer’s gone?” Kid’s snarl was visceral.

You gulped as you pressed the ice pack against your temple, which was still throbbing. The crew members who had seen Killer rush out of the galley were gathered around Kid, relaying all the information they could to your flabbergasted captain.

You were being seen by Doc a few paces away.

“He turned into a werewolf, Captain.” You groaned, nausea hitting you as you bent, placing your head between your knees to stop the world from spinning and keep bile from rising up from your stomach again.

“Lad, ya’ve said that three times. I can’t hear it one more time. The fuck do ya mean by that? Doc, are werewolves real?”

“Yes!” You hissed as you swallowed hard, a bitter taste in your mouth from the earlier vomiting you’d done.

“There’s some records, Cap,” Doc began. “But not specific, concrete evidence of it.”

“What fucking concrete evidence? We’ve all seen it!” You stated, getting upright with a swift motion and grasping the table until your knuckles turned white as your vision blurred. “He turned right in front of me! He jumped over me! They all saw it!”

Kid looked at you in disbelief. Your tale was so wild he had no idea what to believe.

“Even so, what are we all waiting for? He ran onto an unknown island and he’s all alone! Let’s go after him before he hurts himself or anyone else!” Anger kept rising within you every minute Kill was away from you. But the fear… the fear was overwhelming. It clutched your chest in its grasp, snaking cold tendrils to your stomach and bowels, twisting and turning, making you feel helpless and agonised.

“He's a grown ass-man.” Kid said gruffly, though the strain in his voice betrayed the worry he was feeling.

Silence surrounded the crew as Kid's scowl became more pronounced. After a moment he got up, determination setting his pace. “Fine. Four search parties, no fewer than three men on each. Careful if he's really turned into… something else. Avoid hurting him.” The Kid pirates exclaimed ‘Aye Captain!’ in unison as they started to disband.

You got up on wobbly legs, discarding the pack of ice and taking a deep steadying breath. “Where the fuck ya think ya going? Ya stay behind.” Kid snarled at you.

“I'm the best hunter on this fucking ship. I can track a snow leopard in the middle of a fucking snowstorm. That's how good I am.” Rage seethed through your pores, urgency filled your veins, and desperation gripped your heart.

“Yer compromised, lad.” Kid stated gravely.

“You mean my wound? I won't let it slow me down. I can-...”

“Ain’t yer wound. Everyone with two eyes and ears can see ya care about Killer. Care, care.” He grunted with a smirk and you were left speechless. But Kid continued. “What if the unthinkable needs to be done? Can ya do it?”

The unthinkable? Was he talking about… hurting him, or killing him? Would it come to that? Would Killer want that? There had to be a cure somewhere. Lycanthropy had to have been around for ages. Someone must've found something out, at least how to snuff out the symptoms. Still… Kid’s question was a pertinent one. Could you do it?

“Can you?” Defiance laced your voice and Kid’s snarky laugh reached your ears.

“Valid point, lad. Yer still staying. Captain's orders.”

Fuck.

-*-

The search parties kept returning, each more dismayed than the last. And your heart kept wanting to flee from your chest. What had happened? Was he safe? Kid still hadn't returned so there was still some semblance of hope. Kid would never give up on his first mate - his friend - like that.

But you could no longer sit still.

You had been restless and preoccupied. Fortunately the worst of the nausea had gone away and your strength had returned, though your head was still throbbing like a son of a bitch.

So you decided to mutiny. And you knew you would be punished - severely, even - yet you could not help it, for how could you stay still when part of your heart was out there? Alone, scared, maybe even hurt?

Gathering your weapons, you stealthily left the ship, eluding some stationed crewmates guarding the deck, and immediately started to look for tracks. You tried to identify some wolf markings, yet, with all the search parties that had left the ship earlier, the tracks were all muddled together.

Clicking your tongue, you cursed your hot-headed captain. If you had gone out earlier, you would have tracked him faster.

Instead, it took the better part of an hour just to - finally - be on the right track. The full moon was shining brightly in the sky, casting its glowing light against the tops of the dense trees. The hoots of the owls lent a semblance of sobriety to your hunt and the approaching howls of wolves told you that you were near.

The only other thing you could hear was the disjointed beat of your heart thrumming in your eardrums.

After a few moments you tensed. The thick mist had come out of nowhere and surrounded you completely, the forest had suddenly turned eerily still and you could vaguely make out distant shapes of yellowish orbs staring right at you.

You counted eight different pairs of eyes.

You were surrounded. And, most likely, very dead in the next few seconds. Gripping the handles of your weapons and gritting your teeth, you vowed not to go down without a fight.

At least there would be no punishment awaiting you back on the Victoria.

However, before the wolves launched an attack, you heard pained and muffled grunts in the short distance. Your heart jumped to your mouth as your eyes widened. You could identify your counterpart in the middle of a crowd, blindfolded and with your ears covered.

Killer.

You made a move to rush forward but all the wolves growled at you, turning your legs to jelly and halting your movements. After a few moments, Killer - your Killer, not the thing he transformed into - came into view. He looked dishevelled, tired and still in pain.

Grunting your name, he fell to his knees, clutching his head between his hands. “Kill!” You urged, surging forward and kneeling near him. “You're fine! You're all right!” Were you assuring him, or yourself?

A groan escaped his lips as his face contorted. It almost seemed as if he was using all his strength to stop from turning. “I'm not fine!” He hissed between his teeth, every word coming out of his mouth strained and hoarse. “And you shouldn't be here.”

“I came to get you, Kill. The Doc knows what's up. They're working on a cure now. You need to come back with me, come home.”

His blond locks shook at the same time as his head. He had twigs, leaves and dirt on his once pristine golden mane and you longed to help him clean it. “They're calling me.” He uttered as he retreated from you.

“Who's calling you?” You didn't push into his space, but you didn't fall back either. Your arm reached for him, just to assure him you were still there, as he had his eyes shut with tension and hurt.

“Them!”

The wolves surrounding you started to howl at the moon. Killer repeated the word ‘them’ incessantly, as if it were a litany, a sort of prayer to a God you were not privy to. Then, he started to howl at the moon with them and the sound that escaped his lips was feral and primal and terrifying.

“They need me. They need a leader of the pack, an Alpha. They want me to be their Alpha. Without one, they’re mere prey for other packs.”

A surge of questions begging to be answered swallowed your brain, yet, what frightened you the most, was the very real possibility of him staying behind.

“What do you mean, Kill?” Your voice was a mere whisper. You crawled forward, tentatively approaching his crouching form. He whimpered and groaned and your heart clenched some more. This was not your Killer. The Killer you knew and loved was strong and self-assured. You’d never seen him like this.

It was very disarming.

“I have to stay!” Your name came out of his lips in a low snarl. “They need me!” He repeated, and this time he looked up at you. One yellow eye seemed determined and set with fiery will; the other one carried a very soft blue and with it a frightened, disconsolate look.

“You can't stay, Kill… What about your dream?”

His dismissive scoff was very uncharacteristic and it sent a cold shiver down your spine. “I don’t have any dreams…”

Lies. He had dreams. He had to have them, right?

“Even if I did, they don’t matter. They’re nowhere near as important as Kid’s.” He shook his head fiercely, grunting and snarling at the same time.

“Fine, then. What about Kid’s dream?” Once he was safe back on the Victoria, once he was resting in your embrace, or at least within your sight, you could speak calmly about his own dreams. What mattered now was bringing him back.

He stuttered, his mismatched eyes staring back at you, both very uncertain and wounded. “Like this I can only slow him down.” He sounded resigned. “At least they can use me like this. They need me!” He returned to the same line of thought.

“Kill…” You approached again and he didn’t pull away, so you leaned your face closer to him, focusing on the blue eye, the one that held the soul of the man you loved deep within. “I need you. So, so much.”

As your words reached him, the yellow eye trembled and Killer shut both eyes, cursing and clenching his jaw. Was it working? You just wanted to bring him home. You could all think about the consequences and cures later. He was all that mattered - his safety.

“I go to bed thinking about you;” You placed a rough calloused hand against his tangled hair. “I dream about you;” Another one of your hands cupped his cheek, your thumb tracing his soft lips. God, he was beautiful. “I wake up thinking about you.” With a deep breath you pressed your forehead against his. He shivered, whined and stilled against your touch.

“I love you Kill. I need you. With me, near me! You can’t stay here. The… pack is not your family. The Kid Pirates are.” Could you reach him? Far away in the confines of his mind where he was running to?

When he opened his eyes, there was blue staring back at you. In both of them. There was a tenderness in his gaze, a softness that you didn’t know if it was always there or not, because you had never gazed at his eyes.

At his beautiful eyes.

Whispering your name softly, Kill leaned his head slightly, his breath tickling your lips, his warmth warming your heart.

“I also-...” A deep growl interrupted his sentence. The wolves restarted their howling at the moon and Killer stepped back from you, his hands clutching his head again.

“No, no! Kill, come back! This is not you, we can do this together! Killer!” You pleaded, getting up and trying to reach him once more, but then you noticed - with horror and surprise - that he was, once again, transforming into the beast from before.

Faster this time, and more complete. He resembled a fully grown wolf. But so much bigger and much more frightening.

And the way he stared at you stole all the bravado you had left. This was definitely not your Killer.

When he lunged and struck, you immediately lost consciousness.

-*-

By the time you woke up, you were aboard the Victoria. The ship swayed gently, lulled by the soft waves. Your bed was familiar to you, the briny air of the seawater and the roughness of the sheets waking you up to a throbbing headache.

You opened your eyes slowly, feeling bandages wrapping around your head, with moisture in some places indicating that whatever wound you had was still recent and slightly bleeding.

You winced and closed your eyes again, trying to regain your bearings.

Until the events of the past night came rushing in, all of a sudden and all at once. Unrelenting, savage, and unbridled images and memories.

And your extremely painful loss.

“Killer!” You grunted as you got up. Everything was still spinning and you didn’t get too far, but someone must’ve been near you to relay the news of your state of consciousness, because after a few moments your captain was by your side.

Kid donned a more pronounced scowl on his lips, the lines near his eyes deep and worried. He was angry.

Gulping, you realised you had disobeyed his order, last night.

“Lad.” He barked as he took a seat and you leaned against the bunk bed. “Ya didn’t do as I told ya.”

“I’m sorry, I-...”

“Shut the fuck up, ya speak when I tell ya to.”

Lowering your head, you nodded while clenching your teeth. “Yes, sir.”

“Ya didn’t do as I told ya, and ya could’ve died. Killer brought ya to Victoria.” You raised your head, already opening your mouth to ask about Killer, but Kid’s look told you that he would not be lenient if you interrupted him again, so you stood still, hanging on every word your captain uttered. “We’re sailing now. He stayed behind. Something about the pack needing him. Ya were right. He turned into a wolf-... werewolf-thing. But he managed to turn back after he hurt ya and came to find us.”

You slumped down on the ground, your knees hitting the hardwood floor as you felt air leaving your lungs in heavy, ragged breaths.

“He hurt ya. Ya were bleeding so much he thought he killed ya, he was inconsolable. But it turned out ya were only out cold.” Kid sighed as he pressed his flesh index finger and thumb against his nose. “We are finding him a cure. I can guarantee ya that. Even if I have to visit every goddamned island in the world.” Kid clenched his metal fist and you could feel the slight tremble of all the metallic objects around you. “Until then, and until we come back, Killer said to tell ya that he also needs ya and that he’s always thinking about ya too.” When your lower lip trembled, Kid scoffed. “Sappy motherfuckers.”

The air was too thick to inhale. Your breaths were too shallow and the pain in your chest kept building up and up in unrelenting waves. He left you. He stayed behind.

Yet you mattered to him. He cared about you.

But he was gone. And he was not himself.

“Lad, calm down. I’m upset about this situation too. I hated having to leave him behind.” Kid cursed as he slammed his hand on a desk near him, splinters of wood flying everywhere. “But this was his choice. He didn’t want to endanger anyone on the crew, nor did he want to leave those wolves behind.”

“He’s too good for a fucking pirate…” You muttered against your will, the scowl on your lips deepening as you felt the pricking of tears behind your eyes.

Kid’s laugh was like a balm to your ears. Kid understood. And he was hurting just as much as you were. “He fucking is, that wanker.” Your captain sighed as he got up. “Once ya’ve rested from that nasty wound, ya have a month of bathroom cleaning duties to attend to, starting today. I’ll figure out the rest of yer punishment as I go.”

You nodded. It was less than you deserved, really.

But the ache in your chest was terrible and you just wanted to let your sorrow out. Killer was gone from the Victoria and you could barely conceive of a normal life without him by your side. How could you wake up to a cold Killer-less galley? How could you go to sleep without telling him goodnight?

How were you supposed to live? Period.

“He’s strong. He’ll be fine. And we’ll fix him.” Kid assured you as he got up and placed a hand on your shoulder. However, before he left, you stopped him with your words.

“He told me he didn’t have dreams, that your dream was the only one that mattered, and that he’d only slow you down like this.” You sighed, biting back a sob. “If he realises you’re giving up your dream to find him a cure, he’ll never forgive himself.” You were as sure of this as the sun rising every day.

Kid stood in silence for a moment, his jaw moving as he clenched and unclenched it, tension filling the room. “That fucking arse.” Another scoff. “When we find him a cure and he comes back, I’ll let him know that my dream ain’t worth shit without him by my side. And ya, lad, can show him he’s yer dream. Maybe that’ll keep him focused on himself more.”

Kid was not a man of tender, gentle words. So this soft speech about the man you loved left you speechless. Without another word he left the quarters, leaving you to your misery, probably chasing his own at the bottom of a rum bottle.

He was right, though. Killer was tough. As tough as they come. And this had been his choice, though it stung a little to know he had chosen to stand by a pack he wasn’t familiar with instead of being with you.

Even if he thought that he was doing it to protect all of you.

Lying back down on the bed you let the beginning of your tears mar your dirt and blood-stricken face. Kid was also right about something else. Killer was your dream. A dream you didn’t think you could fulfil, until he told you otherwise.

So you would be relentless. You would cross every single island off the map, visit every goddamned civilization there ever was (in the mountains, in the woods, underwater or in the sky) and you would buy, steal, beg and kill, if you had to.

Just to find him a cure.

Just to get your dream back.

That was a vow you didn’t intend to break.

#one piece #one piece x reader #x reader #op #supernatural au #killer x you #you x killer #killer x reader #massacre soldier killer #werewolf #werewolves

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gadriezmannsgirl · 1 year

Note

Believe what you want is amazing! We need part 2 if you can, love it 💕

After a long while, here's happy ending, you can read part 1 here "Believe What You Want" and the angsty second part here "Angsty Version" . Tbh, I don't know what I did here, I was falling asleep in front of my laptop💀 so yeah sorry if it isn't good😭

I took ages to do this one, I know but I've been extremely busy and sometimes I can't with myself

Believe What You Want (2) - P.G8

(Happy ending)

Summary: After realizing he fucked up, he tries his best to get you back

"I overheard them speaking that night at Fer's birthday. Victoria was going on about you and her, that your things with Y/N would end up soon... Those kind"

Pedri's mind was racing in fear and agony. "No" He whispered "Is there any possibility for Victoria to have made those burns in Y/N's skin?" "

"Well, it can be... She got out of the house around noon so..." Pedri's eyes clicked up like lightning all the dots were connecting by your side.

You were right. All this time you were.

He had been too stupid to realize that

"No" He whispered once more

"What's up, dude?"

"I fucked up bro. Big one"

...

"She doesn't answer me" Pedri said for the fifteen time in a row pacing around in his room

"And she won't answer to you" Fer said "I mean... I wouldn't answer you either"

Pedri had explained everything to the three guys in the room, Fer knowing a bit more thanks to you. And he knew that his younger brother loves you to death but he also knows that what he did, wasn't right.

"¡Joder! ¡Soy un puto idiota!" (Fuck! I'm an asshole!) Pedro yelled kicking a ball in his room crashing into one of your pictures together "No, joder... No" (No, shit... No) He hurried to pick up the picture and inspect it. It had one little scratch made from the glass, the scratch made in between the two of you.

He shook all the negative thoughts that were running in his head and changed the photo frame.

"Well, you've got to understand her" Adrián began speaking "All of this could be true and her boyfriend just choosed to not believe her"

"I did not just choose not to believe her"

"You basically did, bro" Fer hissed "I mean... If my girl tells me that I would do more than just talking with each girl separatedly"

"And not only that but you also told her your personal fights as a couple" Jesús said

"Because she's my best friend!"

"Hermano..." Fer started "That's meant to be something only for the two of you, not something for you, Victoria and Y/N" Fer shook his head "I mean... It's okay you ask someone else for an advice, like what to do or stuffs but not to rant because for that, you've your girl. The one who's in the relationship with you. The one who's with you in the goods and the bads" silence flowed into the room, Pedri's heart was beating incredibly fast "If you want her back, you need to fully work for it, Pedro. Words won't do half of the work you gotta do"

And that was it.

Pedri broke down, feeling already the loss of the love of his life not being next to him, this time a bit heavier than the past 7 days. He left you when you didn't do anything at all. He threw you and your relationship away without a good reason. Tears escaped his eyes and his breathing was erratic.

All of his thoughts were about you and imaginating a life without you in it, thanks to himself.

"I'll be back before midnight" Pedro said grabbing his phone, wallet and car keys

"Where are you going? Won't you even take a shower? You smell" Adrián said shaking his head

"He cometido un grave error con la chica que amo, en estos momentos oler bien o estar guapo es lo que menos me vale" (I've made a big mistake with the girl I love, right now I don't care if I smell or look good)

"Pedro" Fer called him before he got out of the room "Buena suerte, hermano" (Good luck, bro) Pedri for the first time ever, smiled a bit.

"Thank you"

He was going to work for your forgiveness. He will make you fall in love with him again. He will win your trust again. You'll be happy with him. You'll be with him. He was going to make sure that happen.

And for that, he needed answers.

...

"Yes, there was a (Hair color) girl, with (Type of Eyes), a bit short, she was pretty nice. Sad thing she got hurt" A boy behind the counter said hissing remembering the moment "Elianna went with her, she said it was pretty bad but nothing that some cream and care couldn't do"

"Is that girl here? Elianna?" Pedri asked hopeful

"She's on her lunch break right now" The guy answered "She has the whole shift... Is it important?"

"Yes, really important" Pedri said without a doubt

"I'll let her know. You can sit anywhere and if you want to have a drink you can tell me" Pedri nodded slowly walking away.

He didn't know how much time he was there until a redhaired girl walked up to him, he without thinking straight stood up

"My workmate said you were looking for me?"

"Are you Elianna?" She nods "I'm Pedro. I'm the boyfriend of the girl that was poured coffee all over her"

"How's she?" She asked after gasping a bit at the mention of you. "I hope she's better"

"Ah-yes, she is a bit better. Thank you for asking" Pedri nodded nervous "Can I ask you something?" The girl nodded "Who poured the coffee on her?"

"Some random girl, Y/N said the girl didn't liked her..."

"Could you maybe describe her?"

"Oh, sure!" Elianna nodded "She had long hair, brunette with blonde highlights, she used tight clothes and she wasn't as short as Y/N, she was a bit more taller, maybe just like you?"

That was exactly Victoria's description.

"She entered a few minutes before Y/N, after I gave her a box of cupcakes she just kind of ran away and then next thing I knew was that the same girl poured hot coffee on Y/N"

Pedri stood there taking in all the information

"She hasn't been here since that day" Pedri nods humming "However, Y/N has and I know for a fact that her boyfriend broke up with her thanks to his best friend" Pedri looked up at her, guilt filled over his body "Why are you behind her? She's been awful these past few days, she's recovering from your treatment, why the need of asking all of this, if you don't believe her?"

"Because I fucked up. I fucked up big time and I want to mend it"

"Wish you luck... You'll deserve it because if I was her, I wouldn't even give you the time of the day or spare you a single look" Pedri looked down in shame and regret "I need to go... You want to order something?" He shook his head

"Not feeling hungry at all" He murmured grabbing his wallet and pushing some money into the girl's hand

"You aren't ordering anything"

"For you... For the help, for the info. Thank you"

And with that Pedri stood up and left the cafeteria. As soon as his body met the Catalan air, he fought the need of crying his everything out. You were right, just like you always were.

"I shouldn't have just let it pass" He said crying to himself now in the calm of his car. "I should have done something" He lamented.

His phone lighted up with a notification he didn't care about, his focus remained on a photo from the two of you at one of his spots in Barcelona to calm down and relax.

"Please, mi niña. Tell me how to make things right, tell me it's not too late, just please..." he begged at nothing because you weren't there and you haven't been since 7 days ago.

And as reality was hitting him, he knew there could be a possibility of you not going into his life ever again. Leaving him for your own good while he was suffering.

Pedro picked up his phone and dialed his best friend Jesús's number.

"¿Aló?" (Hello?)

"You said you heard them speak that night at Fer's birthday, right? I need to know everything you heard and if you saw something too, I'm on my way to pick you up so we can talk"

"You're really working for Y/N?"

"I am" Pedri nodded "I fucked up and I'm trying to mend everything with her"

"I'm waiting for you, hermano and also..."

"¿Qué?" (What?)

"Good luck, you'll need it"

That phrase was starting to get on his nerves, he didn't liked how that sounded, because it seemed like even with all the effort he'll make, it'll not be enough to bring you back into his arms.

"Thanks bro"

...Two days later...

"Why?" Pedri said entering Victoria's house

"Hola Vic. ¿Cómo estas? ¿Qué tal va todo? Días sin verte" (Hi Vic. How are you? How's everything going? Long time not to see) She mockingly said with a smile but her smile was wipped off of her face when she saw Pedri's seriousness

"No estoy para juegos. Dime el por que has hecho eso" (I'm not in the mood for games. Tell me why you've done that)

"Done what?"

"¿Me estás tomando el pelo?" (Are you making fun of me?) Pedri hissed angry "Stop playing around and tell me... why you did all of that to Y/N?"

Victoria's face changed

"I didn't do anything"

"You did. Don't lie to me about anything because I know how things went now" Victoria's face changed

"What do you mean?"

"I know you poured hot coffee on her that day at the coffee, I know you've been telling her things behind my back about my relationship with her and stuffs, I know you poured her drink on yourself but made it look like it was her doing" Pedri shook his head not believing it "You faked things and like a fucking stupid I believed them, when the one I should've believed was my girlfriend! You damaged my relationship but I was the one breaking it for believing you, for believing my best friend"

"I let go the woman I'm in love with and it was all thanks to you because I never thought that my best friend, the one who has been besides me through my whole life could do such a thing and lie to me straight to my face!" Pedri's face was red and he never stopped to take a bit of air, he was fuming, he was angry and all he wanted to do was make Victoria disappear.

But most of all, all he wanted was to get you back.

"Those are lie-"

"If you even dare to say lie, I will pour the same drink Y/N was drinking that day at Fer's birthday, this time someone pouring it over you for real"

"She's making those things up!"

"She's making nothing up! I saw the video of the CCTV camera of the coffee shop, Jesús heard and saw the two of you at Fer's birthday and now that I connect dots, every single thing Y/N has told me, has sense now. And I hate the fact I couldn't see through it, I hate that I put my girlfriend's words in doubt all thanks to someone who didn't deserved a single look"

"Pedro, stop. You're hurting me"

"And don't you think you've hurted me before? You knew I was having troubles with her and all you wanted was to get her away from me. Why?" Nothing came out of Victoria's mouth

Your words came back to him and he blinked thrice, suddenly being brought back.

"Don't know" You sighed "As much as Victoria might love each and every single one of you, guys... I can assure you that what she said to me today and the way she said it, it wasn't a joke" You said "I'm a girl and I have a male best friend too. But I wouldn't say those kind of stuffs just as a friend or to see if she's worth and good for him" You shook your head "Es más, ni siquiera le diría algo de ese estilo a ella" (I wouldn't even tell her something like that)

"She likes you" You said after a few more seconds "And that's it"

"Can I ask you something and you answer me with the truth?" Pedri said with his heart on the edge, he waited and all he got was a simple and small nod from Victoria "Are you in love with me?"

A few seconds passed where Pedri's eyes never left Victoria's "Yes" She said softly "I am" Pedri felt the air being knocked out from his lungs "Pedrito"

"No" He shook his head looking away "No" Pedri's eyes grow watery, he couldn't believe it. Once again, you were right, his actions and words replaying in his head, the way he ignored your feelings, the way he treated you, everything was haunting him. "Don't call me Pedrito nor Pedro, Pedri, Pepi, nothing. Don't even call me, forget about me, you are not my best friend"

"Pedri, por favor, don't do this"

"No. I didn't do anything, you did it yourself. Best friends don't do what you did to me, if you truly loved me, you could've straight up tell me that not take it out on the girl I'm in love with"

"In love with? So in love you are, you did not believed a single thing from her"

"And that was my biggest mistake because I thought "Why on earth the girl that has been besides me since forever would do something to damage me or the ones I love?"" Pedri laughed ironically shaking his head "I was so wrong and I regret every single thing I did since I saw Y/N leave on Fer's birthday but guess what? I had the one I thought was my best friend besides me but I never did"

"You still have me"

"If I do, I don't care, the one I truly need isn't here" Pedri shook his head "But I did needed my best friend those seven days to tell me everything was going to be okay, that I could move on, that I was in the right and Y/N in the wrong, that I did good in breaking up with someone who could only do was lie but then I find everything out and I realized I was just a puppet in the side of your game and I fell for it"

"Don't say it like that"

"That's exactly what it was" Pedri shook his head "´Now, me disculpas pero me tengo que ir" (Excuse me but I've got to go)

"¿Y para dónde vas?" (Where are you going?)

"You shouldn't care about that, Victoria. Hope you have a good life" With that Pedri turned around and walked outside of her house when almost inside his car he heard her yell his name out

"Pedro!" He looked at her "I'm sorry"

Pedri joined his lips and nodded softly, lifting one of his hands giving her a wave before he got into the car and drove off to certain destination with a single intention.

...

"What do you mean she's not here?"

"She hasn't been here since like a week ago?" The older lady said with a smile "She said she'll come back tho"

"Do you know where she might be?"

"I don't, mijo. I'm so sorry" She looked at Pedro carefully "Is everything okay?"

"I need to know where she is so I can fix things between us" Pedro answered with a lump on his throat, his voice cracked a bit and he looked down at his shoes

The older lady sighed "I'm pretty sure you'll fix everything that may be happening with the two of you, son"

"I don't know, miss. I messed up really big this time"

"From what I've seen you love each other so much, I've never seen someone look at her in the way you do and vice versa, talking things out can be really helpfull instead of letting problems grow"

"The thing is I never let her talk and all I did was say things I shouldn't" Pedri shook his head

"You know? She's looking really pretty in those pictures, maybe you can start from there" A loud "Abuela" was heard as the older lady smiled looking over her shoulder

"What pictures?"

"Oh, you know... The ones you take, the ones you update, the ones people take, those pictures..." The woman was smiling softly "Don't let her go" And with that she left leaving Pedri sat in front of your doorstep

He was sat there analyzing the woman's words. Pictures? The ones you take? Update? People take? Pedri's mind ran 120km/h trying to guess what she meant of and after some minutes and what it felt a whole lifetime, he confused grabbed his phone and clicked on Instagram.

You liked it even more than Twitter or even Tiktok, Pedri remembered with a smile the moments where you would "fight", he; claiming Tiktok was better as you defended Instagram with your life

He typed your user with no reward, you blocked him. And it was no surprise at all but his heart still broke a little bit more when he couldn't find you.

He sighed closing his eyes and relying his head in your door, fighting the tears, it seemed like he only could do that in the past days, cry 'till he had no more tears inside of him, fight the urge to cry and feel his stomach fall to his feet. He hated feeling this way and he hated the way he must have put your through

He unlogged his session and went into his mother's, you couldn't have blocked her, could you? With shaky hands and blurry eyes he typed in your user and this time your profile was the first one to appear, the colorful circle around your picture meaning you had stories up.

While he was sad, you were in Venice with your friends and family, he recognized almost all of the faces in the pictures, all of them except one, a male's one.

That quickly catched his attention, that guy appeared in eight out of ten pictures and in all of them he was besides you. You even tagged him on one and Pedri's thumb directly went to his account.

One of the most recent post of the guy said: "I hate the fact that when I met my soulmate she had boiling coffee burns on her but I certainly don't hate the fact I got to meet you, baby!"

Pedri's stomach flipped, seeing your answers of "♥️🥰" made his head turn everywhere, in an instant he got up and headed towards the elevator in his mind only three things. His passport, Venice and you.

Due to some storms in Spain, he couldn't get out that same day and neither the next day, it was day three when he got into the plane and one day after he was in the same residence as you were.

He saw your brother and followed him, he felt like being on Matrix, he was making sure no one saw or heard him, that was until he stumbled on a vanity table and knocked half of the things that were in there

"What was that?" He heard and that's when he ran, the quitness and calm forgotten as he was desperate to find you. He took a right turn colliding with a female chest after a few seconds

"Joder, lo siento mucho" (Fuck, I'm so sorry) He said inmediately

"Pedro?" You said shocked as he also stood there impressed. You looked even more beautiful than always. Your tanned skin, your red cheeks and your Y/H color making you look perfect. "Pero, ¿Qué haces aqui? (but, what are you doing here)

"Por ti. I came here for you, I want to talk to you"

"We don't have anything to talk, in fact, you don't even have to come here, you don't have a reason to travel all the way from Barcelona to Venice"

"I did, I do. My reason is you and you'll always be. I fucked up, yeah? I get that" Pedri shakes his head "You were right" He opens his mouth but closes it "You were right all this time and I'm sorry I couldn't see it through, I'm sorry I did not take your words, I'm sorry I just kinda left and pushed your feelings aside, you deserve more, you deserve better but I can be better, I can be what you want, need and more if you want me to"

You started shaking your head, pushing him back from his chest when he tried to get closer to you.

"Pedri por favor, aquí no" (Pedri please, not here) "Pedri, stop. We don't have anything to say"

"Y/N, bonita, te lo suplico-" (I beg you-)

"Vamos al cuarto, ¿si? We can talk about whatever you want and then you leave" (Let's go to my room, yeah?)

"I don't want to leave without you"

You looked into his big brown eyes as he looked into your (Eye color) ones for a good while, you sighed before breaking eye contact

"But you have to" You said nodding slowly, Pedri shook his head

"Por favor" (Please) He whispered

"This way" You turned around walking away while Pedri watched your every move

You called the elevator and entered when it came, you turned to Pedri

"You wanna talk or not?"

Pedri nodded and walked towards it, he turned his head to look at you

"Do I have something on my face?" He hummed for a few seconds before answering

"You're beautiful" He ignored your words as you looked up at him

"Please, stop that"

"I-" He got cut off by the elevator doors opening

"This way" You said walking off as he only could follow you.

You stopped walking when you got to the door 408, with the key you opened it and then stepped inside letting the door open for him to come in as well.

You took a seat in the couch and patted the spot next to you, he took it and you both were silent.

"So... ¿Vamos a hacernos compañía o vas a decir lo que sea que quieres decir?" (Are we going to be each others company for now or you are going to speak whatever you want to say?)

"I'm sorry" He began "I fucked up. I should've listened to you and put Victoria a stop, I should've been more careful with you and your feelings, not passing through them and ignore them. I believe you, I always did and I always will do but it seemed so unreal that what I thought was my best friend, could do such a things, hurt the one I love and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, when her whole life she was protecting me and supporting me through everything"

"If my family wasn't there, she was. If my family didn't have an advice, she had. And for you to just say she did this and said this was a whole different thing from what I knew from her that I just couldn't believe it. But it was truth. And I'm sorry once more"

"Y/N, I'll do anything for us, I'm not giving up, we're so good together, I love you so much and if only I could turn back in time and do everything right I would but I can't, however, I'm here to mend things, I'm not expecting you to forgive me and that's it. I'll earn that forgiveness, I'll protect us and I'll be better for you if you let me, please. I love you, I want you and I need you"

"It's not easy as you made it sound, Pedri"

"Pedro" You shook your head

"That's something only family and close friends can call you, right?"

"Don't do this, please"

"But you did it first" You said pushing your lips together. Those were the exact same words he had told you the night you left "You really hurted me and you just can't change that. Please, I think it's best if we let this go" You looked into his brown eyes as he was shaking his head "For both of our own goods"

"Not having you in my life it's not good for me"

"Maybe not but it's the correct thing to do" You said "I just can't trust you anymore, no matter what you do. You told me I wasn't the same girl you fell in love with, that says enough"

"But it's not true, I said it in the heat of the moment! You are still the same girl I fell in love with and you're still the same girl I want to do my life with"

You stood in silence for a few moments before you stood up "That hurt me a lot. Hearing the guy I'm terribly in love with say that I'm not that girl he fell in love with"

"Y/N-" He stood up from the couch as well

"It's done" Your voice cracked "You don't get to come here after doing that stunt back at your brother's birthday and once you realized I was in the right came straight back here to apologize, hoping for me to run back into your arms" You shook your head "You don't"

"Does he treat you good?" He said out of nowhere

"¿Acaso te la fumaste? ¿De quién estás hablando?" (Did you smoke it? Who are you talking about?) You said confused

"About your new friend! The one that appears in every single story of yours and on your posts!"

"Mason?"

"That same one" You laughed dryly

"He's gay" You blurted out "Believe me if he wasn't I would be already trying something with him since he does believe in me not like others"

"I said I was sorry"

"And I said that didn't make it. If you want me back you'll have to do a lot more than just apologizing, González"

"He seems to like you"

"He doesn't. He's here with his fiancée, they're celebrating their engagement" You remembered that night at your apartment, the night he showed you his new engagement ring and that same night he asked you to go to Venice with him and your family to get your mind out of your ex.

"I'm sorry"

"You like to apologize a lot and tend to not feel the sorry"

"I do am"

"Great, good for you. Can you please go now?" He shook his head

"No. I love you and I know I messed up but I can mend it, anything you want, think or say, I'll do it. I'll cross world wonders for you, oceans, vegetation, deserts, anything"

"I don't think you can do that, Pedri" You were at the verge of tears "I was hurt by every action and word you said, I reached the top and while I know you messed up, you could've prevented it and simply start acting like you should have but you didn't. And I can't handle that"

"Please" You said after a few minutes "I think it's time for you to go" You said walking away

He couldn't watch you walk away once more so he did what he had been wanting to do. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, in a hug.

"No"

"Let me go"

"No"

"Let me go"

"No" His grip got tighter on you as you were fighting and at the same time, enjoying being in your exlover's arms again.

His arms were your safe space and laying your head on his chest brought you peace but now all it brought back was hurt and pain.

Hurt and pain from the situation you were going through

"Pedro, please, let me go"

"I don't want you to leave me"

"I didn't left because I wanted to" Silence flowed in between the two of you as Pedri was crying into your neck "I did because you asked me to, you made me leave, you pushed me away when all I wanted and needed was you, to stay by your side and defend our relationship" You took a breath "None of that happened and now that I'm recovering from everything, I want you to leave, I want you to go away because I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me and just throws everything out of the window without listening first" You said with closed eyes and tears running down, he chocked on a sob

"I'm sorry" He cried "For everything. I should have done a lot of things and one of them was trust you, fight for you and our love but I'm here trying to fix it, to fix us, you were giving me your everything while I wasn't and now it's my turn to pay it back until we're all good. Please, I beg you, give me just one more chance to make everything right"

You looked into his eyes as he looked into yours "Please" He whispered with tears falling down his cheeks

You were going to hate yourself so much for this but you can't lie to yourself and say you didn't want, need or love him because you did with all of your body. You were aching for him, for his kisses, for his cuddles, for his warmth, his laugh, his bad jokes, his company and love. You needed him. You wanted him. You loved him. He was the one for you.

"Please" You said shaking your head "Don't you ever do that again to me" You whispered "'Cus this is your last chance, González. I don't care if I'm dying for you, if you do it one more time, you can swear to all of your ancestors I will not take you back" Pedro's face changed to one of relief and he pulled you into his hold tightly this time tears of happiness coming out of his eyes.

"Te amo, I always will" He said crying, kissing your neck, ear, cheek, nose "Thank you so much for this opportunity, I'm very sorry, amor" He said resting his forehead against yours "You'll not regret this, I promise"

"I better not be" You smiled softly "But don't get too ahead of yourself, Pedrito. You need to work for everything back"

"I'll do. I don't care, I charmed you once, I can do it twice" You smiled softly "I missed you so much" He said hugging you once more, his face rested inside your neck as you finally felt at peace, breathing properly and safely in your lover's arms.

You were about to reply when two knocks came in and then someone entered

"Y/N, cariño. We are going to be late for the trip, weren't you so excited to see Venice's bea-Oh! Am I interrupting something?" You pulled away from Pedri shaking your head

"Para nada, Mason" (Not at all) You smiled softly drying your tears "We're good"

Mason, the guy, turned around to look at Pedri and then to you as you softly nod locking hands with Pedri

"Pedro, this is my friend, Mason. Mase, this is Pedri"

"The asshole?"

"¡Ostias!" (F*ck!)

"You were pretty much an asshole" You defended Mason with a soft smile "We can't lie" You shrug your shoulders "What's up?"

"Venice's beaches. Coming?" You nod softly

"We'll be there in a little while" You smiled

"Great!" Mason smiled "Also Pedro..." Pedri's big brown eyes went to Mason's "Hurt her again and I'll make sure you'll never be able to play football again for what's rest of your life"

"I won't"

"You better" Mason said "If I was straight I would've gone straight away after her to get her" You laughed softly

"He got your point, Mase. Give us a few minutes, we'll be downstairs quickly" You said and once the door was closed you smashed yourself against Pedri's lips "Te quiero" You said "A lot" You smiled "Please, don't let me go"

"Never again"

And with his heart full, he felt as if the stars had alligned just for him, you were his angel and he'll take good care of you now. He lefthe left the hotel. All the luck his friend wished for you and all the praying he did, were enough. His world is and will not be the same without your presence, your kindness, your laughter, your smile and your love in it, he hated himself for what he had done but thank God you give him another chance. This time, he was surely not going to lose you this time.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

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