#I'm still learning this shit but this is what I've learnt works for me

[hazzybat]

Non-exhaustive list of Actually helpful ADHD cleaning tips from somone with ADHD who has gone many months without cleaning at all before and is figuring out what works for them

- VACUUM EARLY. The usual cleaning rule is to vacuum last but that won't work for us. Get everything off the floor then vacuum while you still have motivation and you aren't tired yet. It'll feel nicer to walk around, it will get a lot of dust and dirt (so you're in a cleaner space) and if you get burnt out/distracted half way through then at least that big thing is done

If you have energy once everything is put away then vacuum again to get the dirt you missed.

- Take meds. If you have meds take them. They help. Even if you think they don't, even if you hate some side effects take them so you can have a nice house

- Music or a podcast. You have to play something to keep yourself occupied. TV will make you want to watch but audio will let you do other things

- Set the bar low. Only say you'll clean one room. Or you'll just put away clothes. Or you'll just change your sheets. Give yourself victories so you want to keep going. And then if you don't do more then hey! You did what you set out to do!

- Throw out things. I know hording tendencies are hard and if you are a crafter you want to keep every little scrap of junk but it'll help if you throw things out.

If you feel you have to keep that piece of cardboard ir plastic then get a zip lock bag and put all your little craft bits in it. You can keep it but if you use nothing from it then you can throw out the whole bag after a week or a month.

- Put on a cute apron/ tie your hair up/ pretend you are a 50s housewife. You have to make it interesting for yourself so play dress up! It'll help it be fun and it's like a work uniform. It'll help to tell your brain that now you're in "cleaning mode". And a fun apron will help protect you from any dirt which is extra good. Hell wear a pair of high heels and tiny booty shorts just to wear something different.

- Along those lines of making it fun/different pretend you are on a cleaning show! Pretend you're making a YouTube video about how to clean/look at this amazing transformation! I love videos of people with my level of depression or adhd actually clean and feel better. It makes me feel less alone so sometimes I pretend I'm also making a video for everyone else who struggles.

- If your house smells bad light a candle or incense or have room spray. You need to be able to clean up the bad smells so you have to be in the room with the bad smells. Make them less bad so you can get rid of them

.

- Wear gloves even if you aren't doing dishes.

- It's okay to do one room at a time. It's okay to do only bits of the room. It's okay to put away half your clothes then clean the desk them put away the other half of the clothes. You don't have to do everything in order

- Bring a big garbage bag with you everywhere so you can easily put everything there instead of filling up the bin in each room.

- Also bring a laundry basket with you. Anything that need to go in another room put it in the basket so you can stay in the room you're cleaning and not get distracted, then take it with you when you leave

- If you have a blorbo pretend they're helping you. They're encouraging you from where they're leaning against a wall or they're gonna come over after so you want your house to be nice for them. It can help you feel like there's a point to it all.

- You aren't a failure. You have a brain that works differently and it needs help to work best.

[atalienart]

What are your tips on improving writing?

I don't think I'm at the level to give such tips. I myself try to read a lot of different books and learn from the authors that way. I watch youtube writing channels that talk about story structure, character development, or give advice how to improve prose and what to avoid. It's good to have someone who can look at your writing and give some feedback too. Also, I write. After some time, when I go back to my writing, I can see the mistakes better.

I can share some things that I've learnt from others and I think are good advice, for example:

use strong verbs (the person may walk but may also stroll, march or tiptoe);

there are more interesting verbs than to be;

weave description into action (The building was big. She walked towards it. ➜ She lifted her head as the stone walls grew before her. or He took the book in his hand nervously. He was tall, had brown hair and was wearing glasses. ➜ He reached for the high shelf without an effort. Book in hand, he pushed glasses up his nose to read the title - "Magic spells to improve writing." "This is it," he murmured, nervously running fingers through his brown hair.) (or some shit like that);

write sentences of different length so they don't sound monotonous;

If you want to write quick scenes. Short sentences. Actually. Make them slower. Why? Because periods. Are. Long. Pauses. xD

leave the most important words for the end of the sentence (He was thinking about the woman, while drinking his tea. ➜ He was drinking his tea, thinking about the woman.)

avoid filter words like hear, feel, see, etc. (She heard the noise that startled her. ➜ The noise startled her. or She was startled by the noise. or She jumped at the noise.)

be careful with time shifts (She noticed him behind the trees and smiled. Her beautiful monster. She runs to him and takes his hand and all of a sudden everything is all right. "Where is your hat?" she asks, but he just stares at her. He's always been a monster of few words, soft and quiet, but the lack of answer still surprised her. - is this present or past tense? confusion)

every scene should have a purpose - advance the plot, develop the character, add some conflict; ideally it will do all these things;

white room syndrom is bad - avoid;

use as many characters as you need; if one character can do the work of two, you need only one, scrap the other;

every character should want something!

give a character a desire, fear and misbelief;

Here are some of them. I hope they're useful. (They were useful for me even if I write in Polish :)) Of course some of these are optional but I think they make my writing better. I read somewhere that you should write only necessary words, so I'm trying to go by this rule. This is rather hard btw xD

[muchmossymess]

GUYS okay hear me out majoras mask boat boys au

I love legend of zelda I love boat boys this is like the ultimate combination of my interests you cannot understand the brainrot. Idk what to call it yet tho... majoras minecraft? Anyway prepare for an essay

OKAY so we have the Hero of Time, Etho, who stopped ganons plans before they started, and would be stuck in a child's body if not for the fact I think that'd be a lil weird for the more shippy aspects of this au that all the running through time aged his soul and his body followed suit (he's still got a young appearance, and the mask doesn't make him look older like he thinks). Same reason he has the scar over his eye (from the ganon fight); no matter how much the body may heal or rewind the mind will not forget.

Then navi (maybe bdubs?) left him, and he went with epona (maybe bdubs instead? (eponas a horse iydk)) and he sets out on a journey aka the beginning of mm:

Wandering through the woods on epona, gets jumped by skull kid. For those unaware, there is skull kid, a lonely lil sweetheart, and he wears the mask, an entity on its own. He also has two fairies, siblings tael and tatl.

So I was a little unsure about this for a while, but I think I've decided on grian for the skull kid and Jimmy for tael, grian bc watchers and Jimmy bc skull kid is not very nice to tael (bc of the mask) and like a listeners reference or smth blah blah blah

TATL. that's who's interesting. At the beginning she gets separated from her friends and becomes your companion. So naturally for this au she is our favourite joel smallishbeans. It works so well. Tatl is mean but cares, and that's joels dynamic with the bad boys and with etho, guys it's literally perfect idc what you say

I think it doesn't change much throughout like the story of the game, but just taking dialogue tatl says to link and its so perfect for a sassy joel to a "can't believe I'm dealing with this shit again" etho. Uh one thing different though; in hylian form etho doesn't have an ocarina but instead a mini marimba. Just because. I think it's cool, and for potential things later on.

Now, fairies in this au are just tiny glowing people shaped things with wings. The glow around them is their magic, and depending on emotions/energy the brightness changes (thats why they look like flying balls of light). Some fairies have the ability to make projections of themselves, more hylian sized in nature. This can be intimidation or distraction or w/e, but they cant do it for long periods of time bc its exhausting. These forms aren't physical. Just sized up light projections of their actual bodies.

So for a lot of their journey, joel is just a cute pocket sized ball of rage and sarcasm, who helps with ethos aim for fighting. Bc that's a game mechanic and also ethos like half blind. But like when joel calms down imagine him crawling into ethos hat and just dozing off. He can fit in the palm of your hand like guys it's so cute. But he is also capable of being worse than a mozzie

Oh probably a good point to put in what I imagine etho looks like. So it's typical link green (maybe a bit dampened?), weird pointy hat, short hair (white ofc), his shirt is more of a jacket with a fluffy cold weather collar, it's a bit too big for him but he knows he'll grow into it, he's all knobbly and thin (underfed a lil, boy was never taught how to care for himself beyond basic survival). His injured eye is red bc of ganon, and often gives him phantom pains. It can't be healed.

Anyway, at some point in their journey together, etho and joel learn a song that let's fairies have a larger physical form, no wings, sorta like the great fairies (who they learnt it from prolly). It isn't permanent, slowly draining ethos magic meter, the spell ends when you run out of magic. This is because I want them to actually be able to stand side by side or maybe hug, and also bc its hard to block a blow with your body when ur tennis ball sized.

Aaaaand, this ties back in with with marimba. What if ethos injured, or unconscious, and he obviously can't defend himself, so joel panics and plays the marimba in what he hopes is the right order to give himself a body. I imagine that being that small, you could not play an ocarina. And hey maybe joel carries etho away after that, and when the spell ends he has barely any light emitting from himself because he spent nearly all his magic (what he is made of) saving etho.

But this song isn't used much, because of its draining nature, and you can't really do any other magic things while it's going. So it's mostly just in the final fight (over and over) or tough moments or maybe joel wants to experience something like hoe hylians do. It's obviously inferior to how he experiences things as a fairy, of course, he's just curious thats all. He totally doesn't want etho to do it more.

Okay I think ill sorta stop here, I am NOT done, I will probably post some art I've done for this later lol, and I want help with who everyone else is (mumbo is the moon. You cannot stop me nor change my mind) with mcyts to npcs

[boccher]

‭

I know there's that whole thing about the "3 learning styles" (visual hearing and touch) being a myth, because most things are best taught through multi-sensory reinforcement, or something like that. But still, thinking back to school, I feel like visualisation is the only way I've ever learnt things. Like if I can't recreate it and simulate it in 2d space in my mind, then I can't get it at all.

And this was like the only factor differentiating whether I was good or bad at a school subject. Like, physical geography? Geometry? Graphical algebra ? Piss easy, trivial, they literally give me the visual to understand the problem, that's how I see it in my mind anyway. Literary analysis? Whaddahell. Chemistry? I don't know what a H2SO3 is.... these molecules and bonds and stuff are too small and vague to understand

But like the thing is, in the end, that was enough to carry me all the way through high school, so I never thought twice about it. But now in uni, every lecturer is like "you need to learn the theoretical basis before you can understand the practical applications" and the theory is just 4 weeks worth of totally foreign integration stuff. So now I'​m like, "I can't understand the theory without a complete encompassing visual understanding, but I can't understand the given visuals because I don't know the theory!" What do I even do?

I think this (alongside social anxiety) might be the crux of my inability to ask questions.... cuz I can't just ask someone "I don't understand, what does this concept look like in 2d space?" when it's like, the process of making a job application, or verbal instructions to do something... It's just like a nonsensical question

Unless they can give me like a literal map of where to go to do things. or even like a flowchart. that would be helpful actually

But like, I'​m still not unconvinced that this is just how learning things is supposed to work, and I'​m just doing it bad or something. If I didn't know aphantasia existed, I would've literally defined understanding as "being able to visualise and run through a process in complete detail in my head". there has to be some other way, or something I'm doing wrong, or else no one would be able to get through all this shit in uni. Is there another way...

[boyakishantriage]

Humans *bickering bickering*

Alien: what's. Going. On??

Human: good question, if I had to guess. Something about fashion.

Alien: fashion?

Human1: no, I say pink and green...

Human: ... I mean, they're arguing with fancy names, colours, photos. I generally-

Alien: no. How. Why would you argue about clothing?

Humans: *freezes and starts shouting at alien*

Human: hey, what's so bad about... *Thinks* Arabic fabric?

Human4: OH DON'T GET ME STARTED-

Alien: how-

Human: generally speaking, skimming fashion blogs for key discourse points-

Alien: no. How. How do you keep doing that?

Human: do what?

Alien: Every situation, problem. You're always so-

Human: calm.

Alien: Yeah. And you know-

Human: exactly what to say?

Alien: and-

Human: it's frustrating that I somehow keep finishing sentences so simply and easily?

Alien: ... Yes.

Human: dunno, I just. Plan a lot, scaffold and have a finger in every industry. I don't bother with the changing styles, but there's always something that stays consistent in those spheres.

Alien: ... Like what?

Human: Engineering nerds, constantly arguing over hypothetical problems and best ways to fix em. Same with philosophy, IT, film and a lot of creative or functional fields. More qualitative industries it's comparisons, things and ways to make thing appear feel etc.

Alien but how do you-

Human: I don't. I just scribble notes with eight layers versus the standard 3-5 layered notes.

Alien: How do-

Human: good question. I don't remember, just. Planned until i hit a wall, then worked around it, under it and through it.

Alien: but how-

Human: I told you, we lost a lot of information. We've learnt and figured out a lot with what we have, but we've lost so much that it drives a lot of people insane.

Alien: ...

Human: but, we just. Move on, write down what we know so we don't lose more and just. Go with it I guess, but I'm special. One of a kind as far as anyone or I can tell, and yeah. I make mistakes, yeah I get scared and yeah. I'll probably get into shit for being what I am-

Alien: but that doesn't answer any of the questions.

Human: Well, I don't have an answer for you.

Alien: but. How. You're so ready and yet you don't-

Human: *shrugs* Again, we lost so much. People, memories, techniques, history. we don't now what we don't, but if we fixated on that we'd never get anywhere. Worry about something that's important but lost, or worry about something that's less important. But here *baps the alien's chest*

Alien: ... But-

Human: no more buts, think about it later. For now, you've got your job and I've got mine.

Alien: ...

I still don't understand this species, words I've frustrated by my predecessors, but. It's difficult. Humans are so diverse, complex and hard to really understand. But they are also so, simple. So, paradoxical in how two opposing nature's can work together as seperate and as one. And the human's theories, friends. Network. All of it, it just. Doesn't make sense, yet it works. And we have evidence it's not just about being a human, but not a mindset or something you learn. While I have not changed much from this, the questions this raises which nobody seems to be able to answer. From the invasion to today, the final report and attached files. Nothing makes sense.

Human: that's. Kind of the point.

Alien: ... Who is this?

Human: hacked your device, this is a program that creates a window for me to type into lol.

Alien: What. How-

Human: human nature is complicated, messy and is more a catch all term to describe a kind of mindset. Nobody actually knows how, when or what it is. But it's like hope.

Hope is a lie, we all know it, deep down. But it's about trying, to be better and try even when it's hopeless. Pointless even, it doesn't make sense because when we asked why should we,we just responded

Well, why not?

[bellmo15-blog]

The OTHER Plugsuited Demon Beauty.

Oh boy, this is going to be an interesting one to talk about.

It's hardly a secret at this point but Devil May Cry 2 is widely agreed upon, when people aren't busy ragging on the 2013 reboot that is, to be the worst game in the series. And there's plenty of good and valid reasons for that. Aside from the obvious stuff that people love to meme on anyway like how over powered the guns are or that one of the bosses is literally a tank there's stuff like how the games story isn't explained very well, Dante had all the personality and charisma that made him so likable sucked out of him, the game's world looking bland and lifeless compared to the first games setting which still looks wonderful even today, the only other melee weapons you can get are just reskins of your starting one with only very minor differences and how pretty much every problem this game has could of been avoided if Capcom didn't force a completely different team who had never worked on an action game before to make it in only 2 years. And people act like publishers treating there devs like shit is a new thing this generation...

Even with all the shit DMC 2 does wrong and rightfully get's crap for there is one aspect from it I actually really do like and it might surprise you to hear what it is. Lucia. I actually kind of really like her. Not so much her gameplay because it has the same issues as Dante's gameplay and I'd argue is even worse because she has several awful underwater sections, but more just everything else about her.

Her design for one thing I really like especially since her Devil Trigger makes her look like a Mega Absol but also her story two a little. She learns during her campaign that she's actually a defective demon created by the games main villain Arius and the rest of her story she's having one big existential crisis due to a fear she's going to lose control of herself and become a monster killing everyone which for as wired as this sounds is actually kind of relatable. Because let's be completely honest here, how many of you people have learnt something about yourself that you have no idea how to react to or how to process and spend a good while worrying about it? Hell, I didn't even know I was autistic or what the concept of Autism even was until I was 14 years old and you bet I spent several days not knowing how to even process that at first. Not to mention the several years I was worried I'd grow up to be an angry and bitter man because of how my own farther had anger issues himself. I mean sure, maybe Lucia's story could of been handled a lot better in game and fleshed out a lot more but it is because of the likely un-intended relatability that does actually make me like her a bit.

Which brings me to the whole reason I decided to get her in Rei's White Plugsuit in the first place. Aside for the colour matching Lucia's original design I mean. I mentioned in the Trish Plugsuit pic ChaosCroc did for me that the whole reason I was motivated to get that was because of how Trish being a demon created in the image of Dante's mother Eve was very similar to how Rei in Evangelion was created as a clone of Shinji's mother. Only there are multiple Rei's in Evangelion in the event that one happens to die. Just like how there are technically multiple Lucia's and the one we follow in Dee Em Cee Too is a defect. And that justification pretty much speaks for itself! Lucia had some similarities to Rei and it inspired me. And I'm happy to have gotten this pic. Especially since over the years I've actually wanted Lucia to show up again in new game a little because it sucks that she's stuck in the worst game in the series and anything past that she DOES show up in is in supplementary material we might never get outside of Japan.

Artist is AmeerAshourDraws. Also fun fact, the design of his Ashour Drones was slightly inspired by Plugsuits which is peak!

[pinktom]

hi! you've mentioned a few times that the current version of Lover's Spit is a re-write of a previous version. Sadly I wasn't around for said previous version so I can't tell how much has changed (though, rest assured, I absolutely adore the fic as it is)

So what I was wondering is how did you go about writing it again? I have a couple unpublished fics that I'm not happy with in their current forms (my writing style has changed, I've learnt about writing tricks to make it flow better, learnt proper dialogue punctuation...) but I find re-writing to be a very difficult and tedious exercise which puts me off doing it. I'm guessing that I just haven't found a good way to do it, which is a shame because the fics are good, they just need to be made better before I can be comfortable publishing them.

So I wanted to know, how did you completely re-write what you had already written? Please be as detailed as you want in your answer, I love this type of stuff lol

I can't wait for the next installment of Lover's Spit, and I hope your writing is going well xx

First of all, I’m honored you’d ask for my humble opinion here, and I wish you all the best of luck with your rewrites. ❤️

I also cannot tell you how uncanny your question is. A few months ago, I toyed with the idea of re-posting the original Lover’s Spit for exactly this purpose—so that other fic writers could read it, instructively, as I used so very many fics over the years. (I'm still on the fence about whether it's a stupid idea, lol.)

Reflecting back on the experience, I think I have some potentially useful tips.

Writing is a masochistic hobby. The first four chapters of Lover’s Spit threatened all three of my brain cells, and it wasn’t really very fun for me to write them. Having a ‘big picture’ is, paradoxically, what kept me grounded during that time, and this is my first piece of advice.

I’d recommend looking at a single unfinished piece you wrote, and deciding, from a bird’s eye view, what the point of the story is. What is your objective, really? Then look at how you can reframe all of the existing scenes into a cohesive picture. 

This way your attention is probably less focused on flexing all of the new techniques (still, slay & flaunt it 💅🏻) and more on telling an entertaining story with heart.

When we drafted the original story, there was no intentional objective. It was just for fun. This go around, I did go in with a very specific objective: to explore how real life intersects with the internet. 

So every time I rewrote certain scenes, I wasn’t just retelling the scene with better words. I was attempting to focus the scene (via imagery, dialogue, diction) on that clear, concise objective. For example, the current version of Lover’s Spit begins slower, and lingers more, really to emphasize how boring normal life can be. The internet scenes, by contrast, are shorter, whippier, and don’t take up much real estate. I also include more descriptive lines about the town, throughout the story, and spend far more time in Harry’s head, chewing kind of tediously through his character development. I wanted to intentionally set an ultra high contrast on IRL and internet life, and many scenes look completely different because of it.

Along those lines: You may feel more enthusiastic if you add one or two more details that are new and refreshing, that really excite you. It doesn’t need to be ultra tangible either. For the Lover’s Spit rewrite, I challenged myself to add more mystery and anticipation, particularly where it concerns what’s going on in Tom’s head. This made rewriting certain scenes tricky, but more fun, because I had to be more inventive but I also got to indulge in the character-building aspect of it, which I enjoy.

And also, I learned how to embrace bitter work, to grin and bear it, because the payoff is worth it. I can look at forty word passages that took me an entire Saturday afternoon. I'm a grown woman, I work full-time, I like to party. That shit hurts! But because I have an objective—a point to get across, to share with people—I really feel it's worth it to sacrifice the time and endure the tedium.

But all that said, I will also say there's no shame in leaving projects on the back burner. If it's not fun for you to write, it may not be the best investment of your time, or perhaps not the right time to tell the story. I was actually about your age when I wrote the first Lover's Spit (I was 22), and I'm glad I took my time to return, because I wasn't mature enough to tell the story I knew deep down I wanted to tell.

[prince-liest]

The last bus stop in hell is a new favourite. I went absolutely insane when I realised what the fuck Alastor did to get out. The gun shots felt genuinely shocking, I could feel just how angry and out of control Alastor felt when he pulled the trigger and it wasn't even from his perspective!!!!! Genuinely think the fact that you've written this from Angel's pov was a genius move, it keeps the mystery of not ever quite knowing what Alastor's thinking that we have in canon whilst still letting us feel just how angry and violated and reactionary Alastor is in that moment when he lifts the gun and tells Val to beg so he can force Val into a position of weakness and kill him like that. Waffhdhdhgv going crazy stupid. Genuinely think Alastor's pov would have made this a tougher sell (you've kept the fic really kind despite everything. You haven't dragged pain out for the sake of showing pain and I think it works.)

Thinking about how Val uses what he taught Angel, how in your fic Angel mirrors Val is so many little ways because he learnt everything from him and yet still, Angel is a genuinely kind, caring individual despite everything when Val so obviously... Isn't

Thinking about the fact that as proven here, Alastor could look like shit and still no one would dare to so much as look at him too long

Thinking about how genuinely good husk is to still want to make sure "Alastor's" going to be ok even though he's scared shitless. thinking about how kind he is to Angel

Also LOVING the little. Anon culture you have built here. Giving myself a call sign emote.

- ☠️ -spirits

It's 8am and I've already been awake for 4 hours and the brain cells I have remaining just want to go /cups hands around this ask and holds it close to my heart

You have pinpointed so many of the things I was hoping to convey in this story and it just gives me the warm and fuzzies. I was a little unsure about how the subject matter of this fic would be received and y'all have consistently made me very happy I decided to write it. Just. Heart emoji!! Thank you, anon! (Also what a great emoji to choose, hahaha. The anon culture kinda built itself, ILY guys and also cannot believe there are so many!)

Speaking of which: MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT! If you sent me something about the fic last night it's probably down there!!

THE NEW CHAPTER WAS INSANEE ???? SCREAMING OH MY GOD ALASTOR STRAIGHT UP SHOT VALENTINO ??? (until he was nothing but mush 😨) speechless beyond words but it was SO good and cathartic omg i was literally on the edge of my seat in suspense 😭😭😭

Hahaha, thank you so much! Honestly absolutely lovely to hear—I think the general response to this chapter can be summarized as "oh my god" and this pleases me immensely. 💛

Angel Dust finally being able to cry when Husk backed away from him, ouch my heart 😭 Also Alastor not being able to use any of his usual radio demon powers but still managing to be the scariest person in the room. Very well written. I don't usually read stuff this dark but I'm really glad I decided to.

Huskerdust are my little gold vein of goodness threading through the horrible bedrock of the rest of this fic, haaa, and I really wanted that moment of catharsis for Angel himself... and YES!! Alastor was a scary motherfucker before he ever became the Radio Demon and I'm so glad that came through. Is he okay? No. But he's ready to make that everybody else's problem.

Thank you for taking a chance on this very murdered dove! I am genuinely very flattered to have the opportunity to make a dark fic a nonetheless good read for you!

An absolutely stellar chapter, as always! Your writing kills it every time and your descriptions are staggering in their detail! I adore how many emotions you made me go through during Alastor's entrance alone; from realizing that he escaped on his own, learning that his leg was injured in the process, to finding out that his mouth is bloodied. I crumpled on into myself. Agh! Of *course* he'd chew through it rather than just breaking/snapping it off. Truly a one of a kind man. So much showing without telling! It's all wonderful and your work is always such a delight to read. I'm not normally one who physically reacts to writing, but wow some of the scenes in this chapter had me flinching! This was most definitely a ramble that I could have simply commented under the chapter itself; all that to say that I am very excited for the next chapter and all of the aftermath to follow! 💫💫💫💫💫

P.S. Thank you for giving Alastor a gun. It is what he deserves. ❤️

Alastor DOES deserve a gun, ehehehe. Honestly so pleased that this has stood out to you as an example of showing without telling specifically because Angel Dust's extremely traumatized POV has been godly for opportunities to do that and it's been a very fun way to write. Gosh, this ask just means a lot to me in general, thank you SO much for your lovely words!

[whinlatter]

author's note | chapter four: habitat 🍂🐾

here is the author's note for chapter four of Beasts! this chapter sees gin return to the skies and starts to explore flight and fear (and asks some tricky questions about the soul). come to watch an author who can neither throw nor catch a ball try and write about sports; stay for the henry viii cameo & the girls getting their arts and crafts on. ok all the usual writing notes, headcanons, fic/meta inspo recs are below…

….as is a ✨ sneak peek ✨ of chapter five (did someone say hinny seaside fluff?) 🐚🎣🌊

 🏹 spoilers for this chapter under the cut! 🏹

[ habitat, n.: the natural environment in which an animal or plant usually lives ]

writing notes and headcanons: 

on writing: this chapter was the toughest yet to write honestly - still feel i'm learning the ropes about pacing, foreshadowing and suggesting, and how to balance flashbacks with driving plot forward in the present. i've made my peace with how it turned out and was excited to put it out after a lot of revision, but damn did you know writing was hard who else knew this and didn't tell me hmmm! also i'm a fair weather writer and a chipper lil bean why am i writing all this sad shit. questions without answers

on quidditch: ah man i honestly love writing about quidditch (the metaphor potential!) re the muggleborns in quidditch issue - i know in PS/SS there’s talk of the first-years having multiple flying lessons, but it always seemed wild to me how obviously at a disadvantage muggleborn students would be at with confidence and practice on a broom (like, no shade to the weasley boys, who are clearly a talented bunch, but they do get to spend the first eleven years of their lives and every summer after that playing and practicing in their orchard - like, justice for dean thomas making it to be a reserve, honestly!) ginny is her father’s daughter, so reckon this is bit of a social justice issue for her, but in a sort of i-want-the-best-and-i’ll-find-it way (i also think she knows from playing on a team with ron that underconfidence doesn’t mean a lack of talent). much more to come on rina!

on souls: one of the things i had the most fun with in this chapter was the soul chat scene - a tricky topic for a teacher to broach, even under normal circumstances, but especially for this bunch of war-hardened teens, some of whom (ginny and hermione, but also all the azkaban survivors) have far too much first-hand experience with soul magic of the darkest kind. i’ve learnt so much from some truly fantastic metas and analyses of souls in hp (some shared below) and have always wanted to think and write about the soul-as-both-personality-and-conscience tension that runs throughout canon - in harry’s narration, other than in passing in conversation with dumbledore over horcruxes, we don’t get a ton of exploration of what a soul actually is. i intended to do it as a meta but honestly i’m having so much fun trying to weave these ideas and speculation into this fic, as well as use questions of souls and what makes you, you, as ginny herself goes through this unwanted process of self-examination and reflection as she’s knocked off course with her own sense of self 

on molly and ginny’s letters and their relationship: a lot of what i want to use Beasts to explore are the relationships between different female characters, including mothers and daughters. a criticism often made of molly from her critics is often that she doesn’t really write to harry or any of her children when they’re at school. to that i say: here are all my headcanons defending molly weasley til the death!  in canon, i think ron’s lingering jealousy of molly’s attachment to ginny and fears that she favours ginny (‘least loved always, by the mother who craved a daughter…’), and ginny’s constant conflict with molly over her coddling risks means we don’t always get to see a positive read on ginny and molly’s relationship. we also know, though, that ginny and molly both enter and end the series beside one another, and we saw molly become a killer to defend ginny from bellatrix. this is such an important relationship and i'm so excited to write about it in this piece. i just love the idea that ginny and molly are extremely close over the years, actually, despite their conflict, and that they were in regular contact throughout the school year in ways the boys just would never have been, making each other feel less lonely in their more solitary years. 

on ginny and hermione: relevant to the above and honestly a bit of a soapbox issue/manifesto for this whole fic - it's really important to me to try to find a way to write friendship and conflict between two characters (especially female characters, and particularly female characters who have historically been at the centre of fandom shipping wars), while doing justice to both characters’ perspectives and not bashing either of them. i love both hermione and ginny as characters. i’m very interested in their friendship and both characters’ flaws and failings, and so getting to write this post-war year with both of them back at hogwarts, spending the most time together they ever have but also such different wartime experiences and perspectives is just *chef’s kiss*. we know their friendship is strong - hermione and ginny do appear in canon as people who have fun together and serve as each other’s confidants on key issues. but they’re also two strong-willed characters who canonically do fall out and must, by virtue of their characterisations, have certain faultlines running through their friendship. obvs they famously have that fantastic clash over harry and the sectumsempra curse in HBP that i’ve always been kind of obsessed with (ginny coming out swinging for harry, very strongly, rightly calling hermione out for being manipulative, but also immediately going mean in her response - the “oh, don't start acting as though you understand quidditch you'll only embarrass yourself” is, like, as iconic as it is devastating, lol) that scene remains a big jumping off point for thinking more broadly about their dynamic and relationship in this period of their lives. hermione can be tone-deaf and patronising sometimes, ginny can be angry, spiteful and childish - i want to write about that, and let both women be flawed and interesting and still worthy of respect and affection. (also i re-watched fleabag for this fic, because we're thinking about sisterhood here babyyy)

on parallels between harry and ginny as characters: writing this fic has just been me repeatedly finding 9000 more parallels between ginny and harry throughout the series i'd missed lol. this chapter i was thinking about how ginny is harry’s understudy in two quidditch finals (both of which she wins obvs), and again in the DA during DH (i know neville ends up as the only DA leader by the time of the battle of hogwarts, but i think we can tell from their canon characterisations and the deliberate parallel building between the golden and silver trios that ginny = harry, hermione = luna, and neville = ron. it’s also strongly implied in chapter 15 in DH through phineas nigellus’ testimony about the sword-stealing incident that it was ginny who was the DA ringleader and architect of that mission). now, here they are again, two captains, mirror images again. it’s just a throwaway line from angelina in this chapter (“you’re no harry” to ginny when she's trying out as seeker) but i’m having so much fun finding these parallels but trying to understand what that must have been like for ginny, to repeatedly be stepping into the shoes of the boy she loves and admires (soulmate shit, but also soul-searching shit, no?). even the way ginny is reacting to stuff in some of these scenes - hermione going to london and ginny doing her best not to sound openly jealous but failing - i was thinking about ron and the prefect badge all over again. ginny is not harry, crucially, and she has her own distinct characterisation and different responses, but they are enormously similar characters in ways i’m still learning about. (these guyyssssss honestly)

on seamus writing to ginny: have literally decided the seamus and ginny friendship arc from pebblysand’s the fault in faulty manufacturing is canon soooo that's what that is!

on the twins and ginny at muriel’s: firstly, i'm so sorry!!! secondly... i’ve had a version of that scene in my head for so so long and never knew how to use it. i briefly flirted with the idea of writing a fic about fred, george and ginny in hiding together with their parents at muriel’s and what those weeks were like for them, in what ended up being the last weeks of fred’s life. but honestly uh i cried writing that tiny vignette (and tbh welled up writing that last sentence jfc), so clearly i would not be able to get through writing that fic. their DH coins lighting up and the three of them being like woo we’re free from muriel’s we’re going to go fight let’s go? but it’s actually them going to fred’s death? i’m not ok!!!

on ginny’s card-making materials: canon compliant ginny weasley is an arts and crafts girlie. love u cute little loser girl! i see you with your sticky tape and gel pens! girls who make dumb crafts and inflict them on their friends representation!

reading list for chapter four: 

on ginny and flying: 

Little Sugar Men by DopeyTheDwarf @bluethepineapple

on ginny and hermione’s friendship:

I'll Be There by StarlingFlight

you were broken-hearted and the world was, too by celaenos

on souls:

The soul in the Harry Potter universe; a joint meta by @artemisia-black and @ashesandhackles

The Infinite Divide: A Study on Horcruxes and Souls in the Harry Potter Universe by @celestemagnoliathewriter

songs from the playlist particularly for this chapter:

for the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in ypsilanti - sufjan stevens | morrison's jig by orthodox celts | dot the dragon's eye by hanneke cassel | featherweight by fleet foxes | soon-to-be innocent fun by arthur russell | troubled waters by cat power | fallen fruit by lorde

and a sneak peek of chapter five because we need harry and gin to hang out again don't we? we've kept them apart enough 🌊🐚🎣

Of course, they get fish and chips by the sea, their new little ritual. Both of them hang off the counter, a little giddy, pointing at the notices stuck up on the wall ('Should we look for that man's cat, do you reckon? 'Gin, that cat's been missing since June, it's extremely dead'). Harry’s appalled by how much vinegar she makes the man at the shop put on her chips, grumbling as they leave the shop with the goods wrapped in warm newspaper paper. ‘I have to kiss you after you eat those, you know –’ ‘Have to?’ They perch up on the beach wall while she does battle with a ketchup sachet. He's cracking open a can of a suspicious-looking Muggle fizzy drink made by a man claiming to call himself Dr Pepper. ‘What do you mean, have to? Real hardship, is it? Great burden?' 'Yep.' He takes the ketchup sachet off her, tears it open, hands it back. 'It's tough work, but someone's got to do it.' 'How about I find myself someone else on this beach who's not such a baby and doesn't mind kissing a girl after she's had a bit of vinegar -' (She gets an unvinegared chip to the head for that one. He does let her share the fizzy drink, though it transpires he knows shamefully little about the identity of this Dr Pepper character.)

[caffeine-clouds]

All your Sonic takes are valid, okay?

Hello, today I am your pastor. Where is your regular pastor? I totally didn't throw him off a bridge. Anyways, sit down because I'm here to preach about a blue hedgehog man. I've seen a lot of discussion around Sonic's characterization in Sonic Prime and how some people absolutely adore the show's take, and some people hate it. Now this could have led the fandom to having interesting debates but alas this is the internet - where interesting debates simply do not happen. (I've seen a lot more toxic arguing on Twitter, the Tumblr crowd is much cooler) But it got me thinking, at least - what is Sonic supposed to be? Who is he?

And I think that answer will change depending on who you ask. Sure, we can get some basic traits of him down. We know he's a good guy, he fights for freedom, he a bit snarky, but loves the people around him. But this is surface level stuff, right? Let's discuss his overall demeanour- "He's relaxed and nonchalent!" This half yells. "He's hyper and energetic!" The other shouts. Hold on, how did this happen?

The answer is simple, my friends - it's the Sonic franchise's inconsistent writing! You are not the problem. Sonic has had so many different takes on his personality throughout the years and throughout different media that it's gotten to a point where there's no 'correct' way to write or interpret this little blue guy anymore. "Black Knight is peak Sonic!" someone cries "No, Movie Sonic is!" Another claims. How can that be when they're so different? Because there is no right answer. People have had different experiences with his character depending on what they were first introduced to or simply what they like better. A lot of people don't like 'meta era' Sonic but there are some people who still do and think Sonic is just supposed to be a quippy goofball in colourful environments in basic stories. It depends so much on personal preference.

This isn't just limited to Sonic either - who is Shadow supposed to be? "The man who learnt to fight for humanity, upholding a promise to the one that meant the most to him - learning to put the past behind him and fighting on for the good of others with a stoic, no nonsense attitude" or is he "Haha Sonic's rival go brr, he so obsessed with him and wants to kick his ass" Shadow has been written as both of these throughout his lifetime, arguably he has spent his time in the more recent games being written as the latter - as much as so many people prefer the former. However, some people interpet the most modern entries as more canon - so therefore, they accept and prefer the latter. I am honestly surprised at the amount of takes I saw that saw Shadow as just a meanie rival until I came to this conclusion. I could go on for every character, but I'm not going to because that would take too much time. So all in all, your takes? So valid my man. If you don't like Prime because of Sonic's characterization - that's so cool, just don't call the show objectively bad for it - because it is not. It's a you thing. And there are plenty of others who agree with that opinion. If you love Prime Sonic - also great, don't shit on people for thinking otherwise - your opinion, and there are plenty more that agree with you. Honestly I think the best characterizations of Sonic I see in the fandom spheres are the ones that can pull inspo from a lot of the different Sonic media throughout time and can mix and match the stuff they like. That's uniqueness, that's fun - I wanna read that. It may not be 'accurate' to the version of Sonic you like, but who cares? If it's not your thing, don't like - don't read. That's why, in terms of writing Sonic fanfiction - saying "make sure to not make the characters OOC!" is like- one of the worst pieces of advice?? Like what is even 'in character'?'? That advice simply doesn't WORK for this series. All you need are the bare minimum basic traits, and the rest - develop as you like. Their basic profiles are the pizza dough, and you are choosing your toppings. Choose the Sonic media and fan content that you like to consume, and respect the people who like the toppings that you don't - because no one is forcing you to eat their pizza.

[anatheyma]

Indeed, is not a easy instrument to learn. When I left home and I got my first job I saved enough money to buy a violin and learnt to play it from scratch, without any help. I learnt to play the cello briefly after that, when I was around seventeen. I've tried to learn piano but as same with languages, I am often too busy at work to do it properly.

I am a big fan of describing people I enjoy being with. I could talk about how I perceive you for hours without any problem and even in deeper detail than how I did before. Cute puppy boy.

You do have pretty eyes and curls, though, so they're right about that. I practically raised most of my youngers neighbors and one of my first jobs was being a babysitter, so little kids love me in a really curious way. And because, well, I can carry them around on my back or let them sit on my shoulders and they enjoy it just because I'm tall, hah. Also, maybe I give dad vibes? Not sure.

Do you ever miss your family? I'm deeply sorry if it's a personal question, you don't have to answer it if you don't feel like it. I think of my mom sometimes when I do stuff that she used to do.

–🦴

impressive! once again. too bad you're too busy to learn piano, it sucks when responsibilities get in the way of our interests!

i think it's interesting to hear what other people have to say about me, so i don't mind at all. it's very flattering. i'm a good listener and i love it when people talk to me about anything in deeper detail tbh! especially things they're passionate about. i tend to remember small details about other people. as long as there's nothing on my mind to distract me so i'm able to fully focus.

and thank you! i'm not sure i've shown too much of myself on here... but still, thanks! that's also very cute! love some good dad vibes. and the kids love it too apparently!

i do miss my family often. but i know it's better this way! i especially miss my dog and my dad. my dad's like my best friend. i also miss my little brother. he's an adult now too and lives on his own, we kind of grew apart. used to be really close. oh well. my mom on the other hand... let's just say it's complicated. she was my abuser and we were regular clients of the child protective services who ended up not doing Shit about the situation, mostly because my mom's a great manipulator. but i got out of that house and that's all that matters! better late than never.

[eaglefairy]

Mechonis Core.

AAAAA absolute heart attack, I thought we were done in Agniratha and then by sheer random chance we stopped by the Fallen Arm and I realized that we never got the quest for the memory chip in Agniratha. Whoops! That would've been bad!

We're doing a little item collecting before everything goes to shit and this conversation happened: Roommate: "Time to get more..." Me: "Eggplants, yeah." (confused silence) "I call them eggplants because 'aubergine' is just the British word for eggplant." Roommate: "Oh yeahh, I forgot! I just thought they made up a weird name for sci-fi." Me: "No, British English was made up for sci-fi." Roommate: "Oh you're so right."

Roommate: "Wait, so how do Reyn and Sharla work out if Gadolt's alive?" Me: "Eehh..." Roommate: "So he's not alive for long then?"

Egil: *expositing about the Bionis feeding on ether* Roommate: "So? We die on the Bionis and return the ether, it's not a big deal." Me:

Dickson: "Dammit, I was counting on you, runt." Roommate: "Okay listen, Dickson, we tried." Me:

Aha! I've been waiting the whole game for it, but I think Alvis and Meyneth do "interact" at least once: Alvis: So it is her...

I was getting worried because I couldn't think of a single time in game that they interacted and I was beginning to think they didn't ever in canon. Which is like. it'd be crazy if they didn't. It'd be crazy if the game implied that Meyneth didn't know Alvis existed because they never interact in canon. Glad I was wrong about that one.

Roommate: "Why. Does Dickson. Know. EVERYTHING?!" Me: "Well, you are about to find out"

Dickson saying "Let's see who makes it through the battle" goes from banter with Dunban on a first playthrough to Active Threat on repeats

*after Monado Reacts* Reyn: "Ain't you learnt yet, Shulk? If you've got a problem, you tell us about it!" Roommate: "If [Reyn] wasn't here you'd get yourself killed, Shulk"

(Also in reaction to Monado Reacts) Roommate: "I knew Shulk was going to die, I just didn't realize the death arc was going to start now"

Roommate: "Does Shulk die before or after we learn the truth about Dickson?" Me, fucking sweating: "After"

Roommate: "I'm so concerned because this feels like the endgame but I know it's not because there's so much left I have to do!"

"I mean, this can't be the last time we fight Egil. It just can't. There's too much left unresolved for the game to end here, but I don't know how this battle is going to end!"

Oh whoops she lost against Egil the first time but she ended up doing something very interesting: when the energy devices spawned, she ended up targeting one of them with a chain attack while surrounded by other Mechon, which let them just walk right past them. I don't think I've seen that before in this battle!

My roommate has been raring to kill Egil since we first heard his name but she's still happy for Shulk that he decided not to. This game!!! It's so!!!

Roommate: "Arglas. He's not Zanza." Me: "He's not Zanza."

Between Zanza appearing and the fight with Zanza, the only thing my roommate said was one single "what the fuck??" and an "interesting twist to have the life/light(?) guy be evil". Otherwise she was dead silent

Roommate: "Okay, before we continue, we're going to pause you and you're going to tell me everything that just happened."

*seeing the cloud of telethia in the distance* Roommate: "Are those...the Alcamoth people?" *horrified gasp* "NO NO NO THEY'RE NOT NO--"

The thing that finally broke her and made her cry was me confirming for her that her favorite lesbians (Vidian and Lesunia) did get broken up and Lesunia is a Telethia

Roommate doesn't know what to think of Alvis and everything he's done since Zanza's awakening (fair) and I'm just over here almost giggling with glee because she has NO IDEA what kind of secrets he holds

She still loves Dickson

[artacetinker]

Uhhhh how am I doing this

Probably more then pics to go with

Yeah let's do that 👍

Here we go

It's set in the future, I haven't made a date yet but it's a work in progress like every thing else. It's far enough in the future that a bunch of cities have either grown or merged into a bunch of metropolitan cities all over earth. Obviously this means more power to keep them running hence there's I giant nuclear reactor in the middle of this one.

Having learnt from other accidents, they build the actual reactor bit with the radiation and stuff as realistically far underground as they can

But they apparently didn't learn and the reactor does a little Chornobyl

Now a little magic comes in and instead of killing everyone, it's stop the residents from physically aging

NO IT'S NOT REALISTIC IT'S A FANTASY UNIVERSE THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM RESPECTFULLY MOVE ALONG PLEASE!!

so the residents now have I minor form of basic immortality and this is just the prologue? Intro? Of this little universe

NOW

my world is set only a few years after, I'm thinking about 4-6 ish years. Adults are having fun and just currently finding ways to cure illnesses as the reactor obviously didn't stop them from getting sick. So that's going on and if the adults stopped, then the children have obviously not aged either.

Now kids will be kids.

They have basic wants, needs, desires etcetera etcetera and the government is the government. A bunch of assholes. They don't care about the kids and have kind of abandonded them at this point resulting in A LOT of children either in orphanages or simply on the streets, being uncared for, with only some lucky ones being able to stay with their families for a plethora of reasons I can't be asked to make or explain.

This has caused groups to form which I'll go into more detail about soon but the Metropolis has been divided into 4 groups, or sectors as they're called, each with a different characteristic

First we have the North sector also known as the Education sector

The East sector known as the Industrial sector

The South, known as the Leisure sector

And finally the West, commonly known as the trade sector

Each sector has a chosen leader or (in the West's case) group in charge

In charge of what?

Trading, gaining money, alliances, saftey and in general; caring for the children that make up their group or whatever

So far; North, south and east are represented with colours

North is gold

East is crimson

And South is a light purple and neon green (woooo Disney villain colours or whatever)

I haven't decided west yet, give me time

I've got a few basic ideas for the areas sorry if my handwriting is shit I'll type it aswell

It's not the best yet but I'm saving that for later

Anyway

The North sector- knowledge

The North is led by Amir, aged 15

He's half Syrian and is lucky to still live with his mother

Most educational systems are located here, mostly unis and colleges

Not too many children stay here as there are more adults up here than anything as the government is most notably located here aswell

It's seen as strict and formal and is represented with the mark of a golden quill because quills... Knowledge, you get the idea

Next

Sorry it's side ways, I'm not spoiling anything yet

The East sector- industrial

The East sector is led by the youngest leader, Irene, aged 14

She's 1/3 Japanese from her mother and 1/3 Greek from her father (weird combo I know makes it better)

Industrial was a friends suggestion because I had no other idea what to call it.

It has most of the cities seamstresses, blacksmiths (cuz cool ass weapons) and shops in general

Over here it's custom to wear animal themed masks (interpret this how you like just don't be an ass about it)

Some do it to hide identity, some do it as a form of identity (don't be an ass) but some do it as Irene wears one and they follow suit

Irene herself wears a lightweight deer make that shes decorated the Antlers with using various jewellery such as rings, bangle, bracelets, necklaces, small chains and earrings. This causes the mask to make small jingles (how tf do you describe jewellery sounds?) as she moves

This sector is represented with a mark of a crimson key (it's a mix of the Greek and Japanese symbol for power and I'm very happy with is :D)

Up next

The South sector- leisure

The South sector is led by Cael, our Irish little drawf (I made them ginger too cuz LEPRECHAUNZZ). They are (funnily enough) the second oldest leader at 16

This sector doesn't need to much explaining as people come here to relax, have fun, party, yadda yadda ya

(Shit I could have called it the recreation sector... Leisure sounds more right tho... Fuck)

This sectors group is known for being a wild bunch, with Cael gladly taking charge. Wearing a brightly colored assortment of clothes and styles, this lot are known to host 24/7 parties in many hidden clubs, nooks and crannies

This sector in general has most of the big ass multi story buildings in such a small space giving it a maze like feel with all the alleyways and such. A great place for unmonitered children to go nuts to their hearts desire

This lively bunch are represents with a Royal lotus, a symbol of relaxation and in my head cannon, refuge

And finally

Again sorry for it being sideways

The West sector- trade

Much like the south, this sector needs probably no explanation

Unlike the others, a group of friends leads the biggest sector of the Metropolis, all of them are Colombian so not only do they know their way around the city like the backs of their hands, they know a lot of people and can get away with shit a lot of other children cant

We have:

Carlos- the oldest of the bunch at 17, hes the strongman if the group

Next we have Gitana aged 16- she's the traveller (illeagally but thats not a problem)

Then we have Tayci and her twin brother Kaimi both at 15- Tayci is a silent runner with Kaimi being a perfect lookout for the group

There's a lot so buckle up

The West sector is by the shore, with most of the citys docks being located here with ships constantly moving in and out. This group was the first to form, having claimed most of the city and has used this to trade with the other sectors and a few smaller groups, overall earning the most income

Each member has used the docks to their advantage as well, having different roles allocated to them through their strengths in order to do so.

What is this may you ask?

Easy

Theft

They steal from boats coming into to the city in order to supply the rest of it in general. They group together with a bunch of other children and split up, collecting anything useful or I'm demand

Carlos is the oldest and strongest, being able to carry heavier crates

Tayci is quick and quiet, being able to zip around unnoticed

And Kaimi has some insane fucking vision, making him a perfect lookout from a high enough angle, using walkie talkies to guide the group undetected

Gitana's approach is a bit different and with Carlos's approval, has her own group of 8-11 that illeagally hop on the boats leaving the ports, travelling to other countries. Once over there they take anything that may not usually be imported over to the Metropolis and bring it home.

They do not currently have a symbol or colour but I'm thinking a grey one with Gitana's go up having a blue one to go with, the blue representing the water as they travel overseas

DONE

This was a lot to type, time to address stuff

Yes there are probably many faults in this which will be covered in posts to come, either on purpose or by coincidence

No I'm not giving too much info on the characters

HOWEVER

I have 2 designs which I might do like teasers or something for so anyone reading this isn't left in the dark for 2 spontaneous months (I need to get my shit together and be more consistent. I'm trying I swear)

Ive got some background for the South currently as it's so far the most visually pleasing to imagine for me and I may post either later or tomorrow depending on how quick I do my fucking homework

I'm trying to sort a lot of it out so it makes more sense

I hope anyone reading this is as excited as I am

I will post moths at some point but this has me hooked right now so I might do a huge art dump

Also next month I'm getting a iPad for me birthday 🥳🥳🥳 so I can finally do digital art so anything I post now shall hopefully be better quality

I will remind anyone probably closer to the date aswell

If you read this and am interested, please stay 🙏🙏🙏

I'm very passionate about this and if anyone at all enjoys it I'll be more than happy to continue

Thank you for reading this far

I admire your patience, willingness and overall generosity to listen to a yr 11 ramble about their passion project

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I'm the anon asking if I'm tripping about Tae

The way you expressed yourself made me giggle

For the past 2-3 years..my personality has been being Army

The type of Army who was so butthurt at anyone criticising the guys

The type of Army who just went along with the hive mentality of Bangtan are perfect...not even human...so how dare you....then after dreamers...twitter became too toxic to the point I realized its affecting my mental health and I was like hold up...why is my whole life just about Bangtan when they can literally never do anything of "significance" for you...of course they offer me entertainment,comfort, support,positive emotions etc but like this experience was some type of...you are wasting your youth days by always being chronically online and not doing anything else....it was like a spell was lifted...I was like okay...so if I voice out my opinion on some of the things this fandom does...all they can do is just call me an anti and tell people to.block me...it's like being Army is being hired to always be working 24/7 ....ooooh...you can't claim you're Army if you don't love all 7 of them...it's like when strangers from the Internet tell you you aren't a real Army because you don't subscribe to our bullshit is suddenly the biggest mistake of your life and you cease to exist...the thing that makes me mad at Bangtan is that they are aware how this fandom has been catapulting to so much immaturity that makes them unapproachable if we are honest but they still cater to them and put up a front...

Reading your blogs made me start questioning things and the appeal of treating them like gods just started dissipating....Army loves to make it seem like Bangtan are the top of the top but if you look at it...esp these days(not at all including the solo work so far...I love JITB from start to finish and some songs on Indigo)...is they give us generic content and they know the fans themselves will bully other people to gobble it up...I'd really love to hear them being so deep about their creative processes...after all this enlightenment...the only person whom I can't seem to rid the divine aura is Jimin but he also has a negative side to him...but I think with him..I've come to experience what true unconditional love is...same as JK but JK I've learnt to humanize him in my mind

As for the other members...I love them...they are all so multidimensional....My soul just doesn't like Tae for so many reasons....and when you're from a mindset like mine...I used to feel really guilty for not liking him and I always exaggerated my affection for him on the timeline to somehow mask my dislike...but its been a journey learning how to detach from this toxic mindset and treat them like the human beings that they are....thank you for creating this space where you are so open minded and allow discourse with people who can see through the bs....

I just wonder when they will take responsibility of how their fandom is getting out of hand in a very high rate...Army's are one of the most vile people on twitter and I understand with some things it's needed but damn😭

Chapter two just made me realized I might be a solo stan and not as ot7 as I thought....but thank you for responding to me....I kinda needed that pov to stop making myself feel guilty....but then again...there is no one human being who is perfect....there might be so many grammatical mistakes..I'm sorry 😭💛

I will asssume you're probably aware how this sounds, right? You got out of a cult. Replace army and bts with whatever cult is out there and it would apply.

I know my post hit a nerve. And some others in the past. And I can see that in all the asks in my inbox. Which surprises me, although it shouldn't. Because I'm not the type of person that needs to hear it from others first in order to say something. Maybe it has to do with age, personality, the fact that this is the internet and I really don't give a shit because it's only a small fraction of my life? But others do, which is ultimately, a bit unfortunate. Because it shouldn't be like that. But the fandom at large is so close-minded that those who don't subscribe to the cult mentality or who figure out along the way how absurd it is, are pushed aside and worse. You cannot be part of it if you don't think the same way. It's authoritive and totalitarian and jesus christ, do we need that in a music fandom when the world is as fucked up as it is? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to be misogynistic, to become an informant snitching and gathering information so the small-time leaders of report accounts can do their cancel spread sheet? Is it worth it to doxx people for whatever the fuck reason? Why on earth would anyone want to be a part of that? And then you have the ignorant on purpose army who took to heart "see nothing, hear nothing" and made it their slogan. They don't like "speak nothing" cause they suddenly get a voice when it's time to all say in a choir "all shippers are the same". Spineless people.

Spineless people who the PR job for BTS for free and they love their free labor while they don't stop for one second before buying in massses every little thing the company puts out. A late stage capitalist nightmare.

And about that creative process as a group? Well it's certainly impossible to talk about something in the last few years when they only released subpar music. What would be so deep about Butter when RM managed to say it has fruit vibes? They can complain about feeling burned out and how it wasn't a fruitful period. But they did it and they got a lot of money from those songs. Time to treat them as adults and not just as "our boys".

[valyrfia]

Hi, I know you mentioned how you recently moved. I just want you to know, whatever stress you are going through you are NOT alone.

I am moving to France in a few months for work. I’m American and this is my first time moving so far away from home and it’s to a whole new continent. I’m only B1 level in French, so I have a lot of work cut out for me with that too. Anyways, I’m stressed! Good luck to both of us lol.

I feel like the one thing no one really tells you about adulthood is how stressful and all-consuming moving is, and especially if you're in your 20s (like yours truly) you're just moving.....all the time. It's been 2/3 weeks since I moved and I'm still coming home every day after a full day of work and trying to get my house in order. It's exhausting and I don't have time to be silly about F1 on the internet which is so unfair!

I know you're probably shitting yourself, but what an exciting adventure! I've moved countries before so I know how stressful the whole thing is but you'll learn things about yourself you would've never have discovered otherwise. One piece of advice I will give speaking as someone who grew up in French/francophone culture...don't care about what French people think they're judgy as hell. French is a language I learnt how to speak very young, I have a flawless accent, and a fluent cadence. When I visited my family I forgot one vocabulary word the morning after I landed and this random acquaintance I was in conversation with snorted and went "well your French has gotten worse hasn't it" so NO ONE IS IMMUNE. A B1 in French is already impressive, it's a difficult language, don't be put off by French people and enjoy the immersion! France is also a beautiful country with beautiful culture, it will be so difficult and speaking from experience many tears will be shed and there will be some days you will want to curl up and get straight back on a flight but slowly it'll become the best thing you ever did. Best of luck to you anon <3 if you ever want to pop by and let me know how it goes you're welcome to.

[queer-polyam-emperor-penguin]

These photos are all taken from my shadow work journal from last year; and today I did a review of how they've helped and changed my life. And the answer to that is; I'm less depressed, I have friends who are supportive and loving, I'm having better success with finding a job and my health is improving (I have better management of my chronic illnesses now I have less stress).

See, last winter, this time last year, I was super depressed, suicidal and after an attempt and almost relapsing into an ED… I decided that I needed to sort some shit out because I wasn't okay and the therapist I had at the time wasn't helpful for my conditions. (I was also in an abusive relationship that it took this work for me to see how bad it was and I ended it at Christmas and blocked her in February and she's been gone completely from my life after I sent her stuff back in March)

So I spent a lot of time researching into some self help things and it was around the time boundaries were a big topic online and I realised bc of my trauma, I had none. And that actually, a lot of people around me didn't have good boundaries or weren't respectful when I tried to implement them in the past. So I learnt how to do them and this is how:

Step 1: I made a list of what I was missing in my life and told myself I deserve it. 'I want to feel like I matter' became 'I deserve to feel like I matter' and down it went. You don't just create boundaries for no reason, you create them to protect your self worth, and I needed to remind myself that I not only need these things, but I do deserve them... because they're quite literally the bare minimum.

Then those things became these; where you can watch my handwriting change bc I have DID and bc my handwriting can become chaotic when I'm emotional.

So step 2. Creat the boundaries. Some of these things I still needed to reinforce for myself that I deserve, but really, it's taking the original list and putting what respecting that boundary looks like and an action plan you can take if someone breaks that boundary. Remember, a boundary is a protective bubble for you to enforce, so it's an act of protection for you if they break it, not a punishment for them. It's just a consequence of an action, it's neutral and important for you to enforce your boundaries for healthy communication, community and relationships.

Step 3. Set an idea of expectations for yourself of what you expect a relationship to look like when it is healthy and respectful of your boundaries. It's important to know what you should see as well as what you shouldn't.

Step 4. Continue learning and growing and bettering yourself. Ensure you're also the kind of person who meets others boundaries and that your relationships are healthy and equal.

And know that you should be proud of yourself for every step forward, this shit is hard and it takes time to see more than 'I've had to lose people for their constant disrespect and it hurts' to become 'I have a friend group that makes me feel more loved than ever.' But every time you enforce your boundaries you get closer to a life like that.