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#I'm stuck like this for possibly the rest of my Life
astaraels · 5 months
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why do people think Yevgeny wasn't Mickey's son? in 3x06 there was clearly no condom used (not that Terry probably would have let Svetlana stop to get one), but there's no reason to think she wasn't using condoms with her regular clients. it's not Svetlana's fault that she was a tool used to rape Mickey—the sole blame for everything that happens in that entire situation belongs to Terry Milkovich and him alone—so why does it feel like it's just another way for people to shit on Svetlana for something that wasn't in her control? it's not as though she'd asked to get pregnant in the first place...
#stop giving svetlana shit just because terry was one of her clients—between him and sasha do you really think she had a chance to say no?#her attitude towards mickey is s4 is very easy to understand when you think about the fact that a) she's his age or maybe a year older#b) she is a person who knows she has to take what life gives her and make the best of bad situations#c) her entire future rests (so she thinks) on her and mickey making their marriage work and he was absorbed in ian (which the audience gets#but svet has no context for) and thus her feeling threatened is very understandable because mickey also won't stand up to his father#so yeah of course svet is gonna see terry as the one person who will put things the way they're supposed to be#but! it's after mickey comes out and he and ian fight everyone in the bar that she realizes mickey could be an ally to her#and she extends a hand in friendship because they're both stuck in this situation and yeah of course she wants him to stop being stupid#about yev—as she puts it “baby did not choose this either” which leads me to think she understands mickey's situation a little better now#but yev looks so much like mickey and has those big blue eyes of his (also evidence for baby mickey being blond)#I get that the whole child from rape thing isn't fun for mickey to have to deal with but women have to go through it all the time—like Svet#okay rant over I'm sorry I'm just...it puts a bad taste in my mouth whenever I see it in fic or meta that yev can't *possibly* be mickey's#mickey milkovich#svetlana yevgenivna#yevgeny milkovich#shameless
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gentlethorns · 5 months
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okay but i'm still in awe of this process. like it has been so consistent and easy. there are still days i don't feel like getting my words in but i've continued to soldier on and hit my mark day after day (except for yesterday but that wasn't just laziness or a lack of discipline, i wasn't physically feeling up to it). and i have 60k words to show for it in under a month!!!! like that is so insane to me and i'm so excited, not only about the immediate payoff (having almost a complete draft) but also about the idea that i've unlocked the secret to doing this again in the future, as many times as ideas that grace me. like this is so so huge for me and the idea that something so big can come about through small habits every day (prioritizing those 2k words no matter what) is not lost on me. so proud of myself for developing that discipline bc like i've said, i always knew and feared that i wouldn't get anywhere worthwhile without it
#she bork#novel 2024#idk when i think about in the big picture i'm like !!!! i've almost finished a novel-length draft!!!!!! and it's good work bc it's#structurally sound and INTENTIONAL. everything plotwise makes sense and falls into place and that has always been my biggest obstacle i#feel. so i think i could really do something w this. big possibilities are my specialty and this project abounds w them. like if i can sell#it??? in theory it could CHANGE MY LIFE. i couldn't quit my job off it or anything but it could bring me some significant income if i can#truly polish it enough. AGGGGHHH it's so hard to be patient and trust in the day-to-day work but i'm learning and working on it bc there#truly is no other way to succeed w this#furthermore i think this project has renewed my faith in having a writing career. bc again i always knew i'd never get anywhere without#discipline and i always thought discipline to put the words down every day was my issue but it turns out that PLOTTING (specifically#subplotting) was my issue. it wasn't that i was being lazy it was that i was getting stuck and had nowhere to go so i would just lose steam#and the project would die. but now that ik how to plot and i've recognized how huge subplots are i feel like the discipline comes naturally#and that is so so so big for me. so now i can actually see a path to fulfill my ambitions and i'm not as scared of the dream dying and me#getting stuck working stupid bullshit jobs for the rest of my life. it just feels so so good to have a renewed drive for writing like i'm so#excited
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shotmrmiller · 7 days
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in which johnny gifts the love of his life a sex toy outta nowhere
when you mumble into the phone that you miss him, johnny, he pauses for a second, then tells you he's going to bring you a gift back home. "to keep ye company, hen." after, he locks himself in a bathroom stall and watches you play with yourself until you both come.
but you'd thought he'd bring you a pet. a live animal that needs a cage to be brought across the world, not a long, slim unmarked box.
it's a sex toy. and it's rather large, at that. your hand wraps around the base, fingertips still a good inch apart.
"and i'm supposed to be using that?" his arms wrap around your waist, his thick stubble grazing the sensitive skin of your neck, raising goose flesh.
"don't like it? only had ye in mind, hen." he presses a wet kiss on your fluttering pulse. you've never really talked about toys in your relationship. you don't need them, of course, and johnny more than makes up for the time lost between you two whenever he's home but this?
"i don't know," you mumble. "a bullet would've made more sense, i think. at most a rose." his hands run up your sides, to the swell of your breasts and give you a gentle squeeze. he doesn't believe the tripe of people valuing size over all else, does he? the thing is easily as thick as your forearm and it's corded with veins. and it's uncut. whoever is making these are going to extreme lengths to make it as realistic as possible.
he bucks his hips, prominent bulge in his jeans coming to rest in the small of your back. of course he'd get excited. menace.
"ye willnae have t'use it alone now tha' i'm here. 'sides, i think ye'd look perfect with my pretty kitty stretched thin around it." johnny grabs your hips firmly, creating small divots as his grip tightens. "maybe i'll watch ye fuck yerself on it, hm? lap at yer clit while ye do." liquid heat pools in your belly, pulsing hot between your legs.
he really wants you to use it, given by his ragged breathing and he rutting himself against you. fine. "okay. just, not right now, yeah? i want only you in me." his eyes burn fluorescent as he nods, his large hand cradling your head as he pulls you in for a kiss.
you missed this. the sweet sting of his cock sliding home in your aching cunt, the sharp pinch below your navel when his tip comes to sit snugly against the plug of your womb. you've missed this. missed him.
maybe he'll forget all about that monstrosity sitting in the box.
-
he doesn't. he's bringing it up hours later, his spend still dripping warm on your thighs. johnny cannot be serious.
"course i am, hen." his fingers sweep at the hair stuck to your sweat-slick forehead. "is it a crime to want to see ye split open on some- something else?"
you think nothing of his stutter. "alright," you groan. if that's what he wants. it'll be interesting to see just how much you can take. you'll never tell him that your pussy clenched around nothing at the thought, his cum trickling out faster, pooling on the sheets.
-
it's not warm. the tip of it presses against your swollen entrance, cold in contrast to your heated flesh. johnny watches you swallow a gasp, your trembling hands reaching for his as you slide down an inch, two, three. johnny's cum is wonderful lube, but the searing burn- the size of toy is overwhelming, your walls being wrenched apart as you glide down further. johnny presses a prickly kiss on your cheek, cooing in your ear all the while his clever fingers draw gentle circles on your clit. "focus on breathin', bonnie. yer tensin' up."
desire begins to bubble beneath your skin, pleasure causing your muscles to warm and slacken, and after a long couple of minutes, you find yourself at the base.
but then johnny grabs your hips from behind and pulls- oh. "that's it." if you'd thought the toy had originally been in your stomach, it's now in your throat. "pretty as a peach, hen. jus' wha' i wanted to see." a shiver dances up your spine, notches trembling as you get used to the unforgiving stretch of the toy. his breath warms the side of your neck. "on yer go."
you come around it no less than three times, leaving it milky and johnny cleans it up with his mouth before he cleans you up.
-
the girth of it is something you'll never get used to but it does get easier. when johnny goes back to work, he tells you that all he asks for are videos of you using it. for his collection, he greedily says.
you send him as many as you can, no matter the hours. just a quick nsfw text before getting his thumbs up and away it goes. it's incredibly fun. the relationship hadn't been dull by any means, but this just feels invigorating. you feel rejuvenated. that johnny is your biggest cheerleader while using it is such a bonus.
you oughta marry him. maybe you'll elope the next time he's home. but when the next time comes, johnny calls you instead of messaging you the usual be home soon text.
and it sends you reeling.
bonnie. the toy treat ye well while i was gone?
no better than you could me, but yeah. i'm still sore from using it in the last video i sent you.
that's great. if ye like the toy then ye'll love the real thing, i ken. we'll be there in 10.
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chingyu1023vick · 2 months
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Patch 1.108
🧡 I finished checking my mods for the patch and the new Lovestruck pack. Today comes with many mod updates so please check my Google spreadsheet to ensure you get all necessary updates.
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🧡In case you missed it, a new mod has already been available to the public this month! 😊
NEW: Activity Lot Challenges
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July 28, 2024:
📌First Round of Mod Updates for patch 1.108:
Balanced Life {Merged Edition} V20
Updated for patch 1.108
Blue Fear V5
Updated to add Fears from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Bye Bye Eye Ring (Better CAS Randomization) V3
Updated for patch 1.108
Custom Traits in Club Filter V25
Updated to include traits and turn on/ offs from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Updated to include more traits from llazyneiph's Royalty mod
Higher CAS Story Skills V3
Updated to include Romance Skill from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Introduction Hider / No Autonomy V6
Updated all introductions for patch 1.108
Added Romantic Introduction from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Lot Traits Turned Challenges V2
Updated to include Singles Hangout from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Massage Socials Fix V3
Updated for patch 1.108
More / Less Skill Boost from Moods V4
Updated for patch 1.108
Occult Fanatic Trait V4
Updated OccultInteractionsForFanaticOnly packages for patch 1.108
Walk Normally V5
Updated !chingyu_SleepyWalk and !chingyu_SleepyWalk_Dazed for patch 1.108
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🔨All my Custom Preferences Sets now require Zerbu's The Custom Preferences Mod to work!!! 🚨Get this required mod by @zerbu or else you will stuck with the loading screen and can't see my custom preferences in the game!!!🚨
FYI: Preferences with custom categories after patch 1.108 must be added to a common list shared with modders just like the venue list. Therefore, chingyu_ExtraCharacteristics from Sim Characteristics Overhaul and chingyu_addon_HolidayPreferences from Holiday Tradition Override are unaffected by the patch because they are not in a custom category.
~
🔽 List of my Custom Preferences with this new mod requirement:
Age Group Custom Preferences
Character Value Custom Preferences
Instant CAS Story Preferences
Lunar Custom Preferences
Mood Custom Preferences
Motive Custom Preferences
Sims Qualities
Strength and Weakness Preferences
~
❌Broken Mods Not Yet Updated for Patch 1.108:
Less Obsession
Smarter Self-Care
I'm going to update them as soon as possible. 💪 So many of the tunings in these two mods were edited so I have to re-do the mods.
I tagged some mods as required updates for adding compatibilities to traits/ skills/ minor features of the new pack on my spreadsheet but they are safe to be used in the game. My other mods and traits are compatible with the current patch. 
After fixing the rest of the broken mods, I will playtest with the pack more to see what extra features I can add to my mods with the new attraction system.
You may view the full changelog and patch note on my Mod Status on Google spreadsheet.
🔆 Changelog in July 2024 HERE
🔹 Links to ALL My Traits, Game Mods, and CCs
🔹List of IDs for creators who want to refer my traits to their own mods 
🔹 List of Chingyu’s CC Traits Name and Descriptions for mod users
🔹 Check Mod Status after a patch & Compatibilities
👁‍🗨 Learn how to install a mod & FAQs
👁‍🗨 Terms of Use
👁‍🗨 Ask Questions/ Suggestions/ Bug Reports on Discord
▶ I need to see a screenshot or LE report to help you figure out what’s wrong!
👁‍🗨 Download on my Patreon
👁‍🗨 Follow me on Twitter
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thedivinetarot · 1 month
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Light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul
Who is your future spouse?
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☆How to chose the perfect pile?
1) Clear your mind.
2) Take a deep breathe.
3) Ask the question in your head.
4) Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.
☆ Before you get into the reading you have to know the following:
- Please, please and I will say it again please do not think of anyone while you are choosing. Not your Ex or current boyfriend or even your crush. And I will say it again DO NOT THINK of any man as your future spouse if you want to have an accurate reading.
- This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest. The future is not set in stone and the energy can change. This reading does not substitute any medical or professional help.
- I might do part 2 for this reading.
Stay safe ❤
Arya
Pile 1 - Bram stoker's Dracula
☆Where are you coming from? Your current love life:
I see that this pile have been lonely for quite some time and they are wondering if they will truly find someone. I see that you guys are overthinking everything about your love life and you are leaving no space for divine intervention. This pile’s energy is quite sad and tormented? You perhaps tell yourself that you don't need anyone but you truly want to build something stable and long lasting. I see that you feel stuck on I'm independent I don't need anyone mindset. Not because you really like being independent but because you are afraid of getting disappointed. The problem with this pile is the fear is literally paralyzing you and sabotaging any potential connection that can fit into your life. I'm also seeing that you might be someone who have been rejected and the pain of rejection is still vivid in your core memory. I see that you truly want love and to be loved! You might have a crush on someone with virgo or taurus placements. Or you might feel drawn to those type of men who embodies this archetype. I feel like you are kind of traditional towards dating. You might have had strict family or you really have a strong opinion regarding dating or hookup culture. This is your pile if you have strong virgo placements, water placements or the description fit you perfectly.
Who is your future spouse?
Pile one you might be manifesting your twin flame to be in a marriage with them? This person might enter your life so soon and above all you might get to know him online? I see that he might like your photos if you post yourself or he might just DM you through social media? This person is so grounded and stubborn. He is so earthy and stable in a generous way. He is the perfect mix between fire and earth. He is so childish or he aim to see infinite possibilities. I see that he is doing shadow work or he has been to therapy before. I see that this person is either a heartbreaker or been heartbroken many times. He is so naive or he seems naive? He might prefer texting over phone or video calls. There's an emphasis on his hair. He have curly and dark hair. His eyes are sleepy or he have sleepy eyes. There's something about his face, you see those people who have sleepy faces? Like they just woke up? I guess he might have that. He might look innocent and angelic. Like his aura is so comforting and serene. I also see that this person look younger than his age with hazel eyes. His style looks chill, like you see those guys who wear comfy hoodies? He might be one of them. I asked when will you meet him and the cards told me that you may meet him 6 months from now. You might be on a journey of self discovery when he enters your life. You might be losing weight and if you are not trying to lose weight; you might be trying to get in shape. I see that you are going to meet him after doing a lot of shadow work and inner reflection.
Pile 2 - The Addams couple
☆ Where are you coming from? Your current love life:
This pile is my daring and flirty pile. You might like your solitude but you flirt for fun. I see that most interactions that happen between you and the opposite sex are online. You might like to post spicy photos of yourself. Or send nudes to total strangers in public. You might like to take initiative in relationships. Even if you are a woman/female; you simply don't care about the traditional roles. Especially on who get to initiate to whom. If you like someone you are going to get them, I see that this is your moto. Also this might be your pile if you are stuck on a decision regarding travel. You might want to travel but you are juggling too many responsibilities and this is holding you back from actually pursuing that goal. If you are a man (since the dominant energy on this pile are men or masculines) you might be posting photos or nudes of yourself online. I see many risky photos and poses and if you are not a man or masculine then you might be doing the same action. You really value your own space; I see that you are protecting your peace at all costs. I mean yes you might like to flirt for fun with others but nothing really is serious and you are not looking for something serious either. This is your pile if you have significant leo or Aries placements.
Who is your future spouse?
Your future spouse is someone that you are going to meet through group project. At first as I said about your current energy, you are not looking for something serious so when you meet that person you'll find it kind of confusing. I see that you might be blinded at first. Like you might not notice them and if you are working with them you might not be attracted to them. They are not your usual type, they might be smart and quick thinker. This person knows how to take care of themselves. He might also know how to take care of women in general. Men might call him simp but he is no simp he is just so kind and empathetic towards women's needs. He is so determined, I see that once he put his mind on a goal he doesn't stop when he is tired, He only stop when he finish. I see that he LOVES to conquer a good challenge. He likes to to be assertive and he is looking for someone assertive too. He want his equal, his queen. He might look like he suit you? Wait let me rephrase it. You see that two people who are not dating but everyone in workplace ship them? You two might have intense chemistry. This person look like a heartbreaker. Eye color range from brown to gray or just those two colors. His hair is so silky or wavy. He have this confused look when he talk to you? He might even drag his feet while he walk, or he might look tired when he walk.
Pile 3 - Nosferatu
Where are you coming from? Your current love life.
Well, looking at the cards this pile is in their sweet feminine energy who wants princess treatment and to be spoiled. If this is not the case then this piles are for mothers or you are a mother or pregnant. If you are not pregnant and you are the girl who is in her feminine energy then I see that there's someone who wants to pursue you and he is so damn confident about it. I see that you guys are so confident in yourselves. Perhaps, you are someone who is working on their self esteem and self worth. I see that whatever the case you are in. It is going to pay off. For my girlies who are being pursued by someone I see that this person is very serious about you. He want to marry you quiet literally. This person sees you as his wife or future wife. I also see that this connection is meant to be and is distant to happen even if you are not aware of it. This person is quite civilized and diplomatic. He want to make you happy and cherish you, but if you don't want him it is your choice at the end of the day. I see a lot of happiness in this pile. Guys happiness is your middle name, since the energy or the cards I'm pulling are all yellow and yellow means happiness in tarot. Another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile doesn't really want to be strong and independent. Unlike pile one who is pushing themselves to be that way, this pile is accepting the fact that you want to be a stay at home mother or a rich wife of a rich dude. Most people in this pile are Venus dominant, have taurus or libra placement or have venusian energy in general. You guys might be the pretty girl in your friend group and everyone enjoys looking at you.
Who is your future spouse?
So right off the bat what I'm seeing is someone who have a lot of options. You know that one man who is wanted by every woman because of how friendly and charismatic he is? This man has this energy. It looks like this person is someone who has been heartbroken before and now he keeps his options open by befriending many girls and keeping his options open. He have the cup of love and he is so eager to give it to someone, I'm also picking up on someone passionate and eager to explore life. This person is sooo romantic in a cheesy way. I see that many times he attempted to get in a relationship but got afraid and back off from pursuing something serious. This person believes in manifestations or he tried manifesting an SO or future wife or this person really believes that he can create the reality he wants. This person gives off the vibe of a knight in a shining armor or a Disney prince tbh. This person look like a literal baby or he have baby features. He might have round or oval face. This man can be a little overweight or fat with blonde hair and blue eyes. He is so cute I'm seeing a picture of someone who look adorable and sweet. This person gives off the vibe of "I look good as a husband". But in general this person look so childish and baby like. Could look younger than his actual age? Or this person might be younger than you, but not so much like a couple months younger. He is so friendly or he have a lot of female friendships. This man gives off the ENFJ vibes Idk if you know mbti but you can Google it if you want to. He is so emotionally mature and caring. His energy is so nurturing. I asked the cards about when will you are going to meet him and they said he will enter soon into your life and one of the signs is a female around you is going to give birth or you are going to meet a pregnant woman or one of your relatives/friends will get pregnant. There's a NOTE for this pile specifically; if you are being pursued by someone this person is your future spouse. And if you are not being pursued by anyone then you might know who your future spouse is. And if you don't have anyone then take the reading with a grain of salt but you can enjoy it anyways.
Pile 4 - Hollywood couple
Where are you coming from? Your current love life:
This pile is truly stuck. I feel like I'm bored and desperate I want to cry. Like guys what is the matter? There's both boredom and stagnation. You might be someone who is really bored with how things are in your love life. I'm picturing a girl about 16 to 18 years old who want to be open to love but there's a man in her life (could be a male caregiver) who is very strict and structured. This man literally destroyed your well to date anyone. I feel like you are discouraged by the idea of love and I feel that you are unbalanced in a way? Like you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt but at the same time you want love so freaking bad. I'm clinching my jaw and I feel like I want to scream and yell and kick things around me. Pile four why are you so angry? Please calm down! There's nothing in this life that deserve all this anger. Please take a break and go balance yourself and life. You are still young and have no experience and life is still long in front of you. I see that you might be waiting for something to happen; for someone to come in and rescue you from your life but nothing really happens so you pour all of your anger and resentment on yourself. Please stop hurting yourself and go find a hobby or something that can help you channel this anger and resentment. I'm picking up on someone who is bottling up their feelings and not really trying to express them. I also feel headache, do you have headache pile four? Are you bloated too? You might have significant leo and Aries placements. A little Taurus placements and sun, mars and sagittarius dominate. I feel like you are waiting and waiting but the waiting itself got bored of you lol. And you end up feeling devastated and angry. This pile’s energy is so rageful, please do some meditation or workout to get rid of that anger. You might also be scared of change? And overwhelmed by the idea of change? You might be someone who doesn't really like things to change and stick to a specific routine. Anyways let's get into the reading.
Who is your future spouse?
This person is very hardworking and workaholic. I see that the main focus in his life is his career, money and stability. This man is a little bit selfish, and he became like that because of how much he suffered. This person suffered from poverty, or he was very poor. He might even get kicked out of his family house so he can work and get them money. This person got bullied a lot by his peers and saw a lot of cruelty in his life, I feel so sorry for him. This person might be closed off emotionally, it is like he is trying to shelter himself from any possible heartache because of what happened in his childhood. I also see that when you meet him he might not be ready for anything serious or he might not really have healed fully from what has happened to him. There's an age gap here, he might he older than you or more mature. Like 4 years older. He might also be a co-worker of you? Or acquaintance If it is not then he might work with you in your field. The main challenge he is facing is stability, he want stability to be able to marry you. My advice for this pile is don't try to force things out if this person is not ready for commitment. He hasn't healed yet and his main focus is on the material. He might even use you if you attempted to help him financially so please don't. What really amazed me in this pile that this man is so materialistic, his love language can be gift giving. Now his appearance; this person look so cocky and confident. He have hazel eye color and sharp features. This person's back look hot or beautiful. He is not that tall, he is medium height. His hair is dirty blonde or chestnut brown. A foreigner? He might not be from your country. This man is possessive to be honest. If you met him after he get his ish together he will spoil you rotten but if not then don't try to help and heal him. You might meet him at the end of November to the most of December.
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Post date: 25th/Aug/2024 - Sun
*Feedback is appreciated
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waywardxrhea · 1 month
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butterfly effect - Spencer Reid
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pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader (no use of y/n)
part two of Casual
Spencer and Reader's first meeting is revealed along with how both are feeling in the aftermath of the restaurant debacle in part one.
word count: ~6.4k
content: 18+ minors DNI! language, angst! fluff (oh the fluff in this one is sickly sweet - i told y'all i don't like unhappy endings)! smut (i simply could not help myself because i've had this one line stuck in my head for weeks and it just so happened to transition very well in this piece i'm not sorry): oral [male receiving], unprotected PIV, multiple orgasms mentioned.
dividers by @firefly-graphics
now playing: butterfly effect by Sophie Holohan also a hint of vulnerable by Leanna Firestone <3
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Then…
You watched as drops of condensation raced down the side of your iced coffee cup, lost in your own thoughts as you ignored the hustle and bustle on the sidewalk to your left. It was a sunny morning on your day off and you were at your favorite local coffee shop, trying to ignore your work responsibilities for as long as possible. You were doodling in the rustic looking parchment journal you had found at a thrift store when you went shopping with Celeste and Maddie yesterday, and you had become enthralled with butterflies once more. 
You had a hyperfixation on the beautiful creatures when you were younger and in some circles were ashamed to admit how much you knew about them. They were just so fascinating and beautiful, how could you not adore them? You knew that this cafe’s outdoor seating area was teeming with them during April due to their migratory pattern as well as all of the plant life they had blooming within all of the scattered pots seated throughout the patio, so it was the perfect time for catching glimpses of the creatures you had lost touch with for many years. 
A beautiful one with black and white coloring and long trailing wings fluttered by and you quickly snatched your cup and journal up as you went to follow the beautiful creature. If your memory served you right it was a Zebra Swallowtail, one you hadn’t seen since your childhood, and you were determined to capture its beauty in your new journal. 
Your journey following the butterfly was short-lived though, when as you quickly exited the patio’s gate you ran smack into someone! You felt your condensation coated cup leave your grip as it was crushed between your body and the stranger’s and your eyes went wide as the drink spilled down their front, completely soaking through the button up they were wearing. And to add insult to injury, the manilla folder that had been in their hands was now absorbing the liquid on the ground. 
With your now empty hand flying to cover your mouth, you began profusely apologizing, saying, “Oh my gosh I am so, so, so, so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going! You see, I saw this really pretty butterfly that I wanted to sketch and I didn’t want it to get away but now it has and I completely ruined your shirt and your file and you were probably on your way to work and now you’re going to be late because of me and smell like coffee the rest of the day and oh my gosh I am so sorry I am mortified right now!” By the end of your rambled on apology you had covered your face with your journal, afraid to look up at the person you had run into, especially after such a rambling and childish apology…
What surprised you was the person letting out a soft laugh in response to your rambling before telling you, “If you were going after something in the name of science I can’t exactly fault you for running into me. I likely would have done the same.” 
“You- What…?” you asked, risking a peek over the top of your journal, only to see the smiling face of a boyishly handsome man around your age with cropped and almost curly hair that fell slightly over his eyes. He was gorgeous. His melodic laugh rang out once more and it prompted you to lower the journal to your side fully, risking a glance at the damage your drink did. 
You cringed as you looked at his once pristine and pressed shirt, but your anxious thoughts were interrupted by him telling you, “You were going after a butterfly that you wanted to make an observation of in its habitat. As a man of science I can’t fault you for doing so.” He bent over to pick up his now thoroughly soaked file and offered a small smile as he came back up and added, “I’m Spencer by the way. I don’t exactly follow the science of lepidopterology, but it’s a fascinating subject. Do you study them for a living?”
You offered your name in turn before saying, “Oh, uh, no I- It’s just a sort of hyperfixation I’ve had on and off since I was a kid,” You felt an intense blush creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks after the admission crossed your lips and you wished that the earth would open up beneath you and save you from yourself. Instead of just keeping your mouth shut though, you rambled on, “And now it’s probably ruined your day and routine and again I am so sorry! Were you heading in? I could buy your drink! It’s the least I can do after ruining…everything.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that, I’m getting drinks for more than just me,” Spencer replied as he began opening his satchel bag and pulling out a sweater vest which he put on and covered the coffee stain on his front. “See, good as new. I have a change of clothes at the office anyway. Don’t worry about the shirt.” He waved the folder to get the droplets of coffee off and added, “And don’t worry about the file either. I have it memorized. Eidetic memory. Comes in handy for times like this.”
“Right…” you said, making a mental note to look up what that meant rather than assuming. You nodded awkwardly before gesturing toward the door and heading that way, telling him, “Well I’m gonna head back inside to get a drink to replace the one I dropped. We can at least discuss how I could repay you while we wait?”
“If you insist,” Spencer said before following your lead into the small shop, the little bell above the door ringing out to alert the workers that someone had entered. 
As you waited in line, you cleared your throat and asked awkwardly, “So, uh…what do you do for work?”
“I work for the FBI at the Behavioral Analysis Unit. We basically use what’s called profiling to determine why people do what they do, specifically in the realm of killing people,” he told you as if it was a regular old nine to five and not what sounded like the most interesting job in the world. 
“I- Wow! That sounds so cool!” you stuttered out awkwardly. You mentally kicked yourself at the stupid reply, but before you could rectify the situation it was Spencer’s turn to order. You breathed a sigh of relief at the out and began scouring your brain for ways you could repay Spencer for the mishap outside. 
Once you ordered your replacement drink, you cleared your throat and shyly asked Spencer, “How about as an apology I take you to dinner? You choose where. I just feel really, really bad about spilling my drink on you…”
Spencer was silent for a beat before telling you, “I would like that. Thank you.” So before you two parted ways, Spencer wrote his number in your journal beside another butterfly you had been sketching and you sent him off with a warm smile while what felt like a kaleidoscope of butterflies flew around in the pit of your stomach. 
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Your dinner with Spencer got delayed when the BAU was requested to work a case in Oregon, but you were fine with that as it gave you more time to grapple with the fact that, no, this wasn’t a date. This was simply a business transaction because you had ruined the man’s clothes and case file. 
When Spencer returned after closing the case, you were finally ready to face the gorgeous man in what you hoped would be a platonic business-like way. That was until you saw his face again and heard his what turned out to be contagious laugh. He told you all kinds of fun facts about butterflies he had learned in preparation to have something to talk with you about and you practically had heart eyes as you listened to him ramble on and on about stuff even you didn’t know about the beautiful creatures. 
The spark you thought was there turned out to be mutual and by the end of the night, Spencer was back to your apartment and between your legs, sending you into the most blissful state you had been in in years. As you learned during your dinner, Spencer had a vast understanding of the human body and mind and it turned out that those skills translated to the bedroom as well. Needless to say, he had completely exhausted you and you fell asleep in his arms under your duvet, your legs entangled as you clung onto him like a koala. 
Waking up the morning after your dinner, Spencer began to come to his senses as he smelled bacon and pancakes being cooked and coffee lingering in the air of your apartment. At first he relaxed into the plush memory foam once more before he sat up with a start. What was he doing? He knew from current and former BAU members’ experiences, relationships while working for the unit were hard. The hours were odd and long, the mental toll of cases could be heavy at best and all consuming at most, and statistically the odds of someone in a relationship with an FBI agent - specifically a member of the BAU - becoming a target of a pissed off unsub was high. What if an unsub took you as a hostage in order to get to him? What if an unsub killed you as some cruel form of punishment for going after them? That wasn’t something he was willing to shoulder onto you, he thought as a shudder shook his whole body. 
But there was no way he wanted to let you go from his life altogether, so when he emerged into the combined dining and kitchen area to see you cooking in just a t-shirt and underwear, Spencer cleared his throat and greeted you with a good morning before asking tentatively, “Hey uh… I was just thinking… With my job with the BAU being what it is, could we…would you mind if we kept this casual? I had an amazing time with you at dinner and in…other places, but it’s historically difficult for an FBI agent to maintain a proper relationship and give their partner the attention they deserve while also giving cases the attention they need. Would…would that be something you would be okay with?” 
Spencer studied your body language as you concentrated on flipping the pancakes in front of you, doing so effortlessly as you nonchalantly replied, “If that’s what is easiest then yeah. I had a really good time last night too.” Relief flooded Spencer’s body at your response and he relaxed into the dining chair a bit more before standing up to pour himself some coffee and prepare it how he liked, content with the new arrangement he found himself in with the gorgeous and thoughtful woman in front of him. 
So that’s how it went on for the following months. Between Spencer’s cases and your shifts at work, the two of you managed to see each other more and more. Sometimes the evenings started at restaurants and some were initiated at either of your apartments when you were feeling particularly needy. 
Even though at first you were truly content with keeping things with Spencer casual, as time went on, you had started to develop feelings for the man. Feelings that sex alone couldn’t tame and that’s when you realized what you knew all along. That those butterflies you felt in your stomach during your first encounter were never a good sign. 
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Now…
A knock on your apartment door broke you from your trance of zoning out whatever was playing on Netflix at the moment and you looked up at the clock hanging on the wall to realize it was nearly three o’clock. You had spent most of your day off zoned out in front of the TV lost in your own thoughts when you were supposed to go to lunch with Celeste hours ago. Looking at your phone you noticed all the missed calls and texts and rubbed your tired eyes as you groaned in frustration. 
The knock sounded once again before you heard Celeste’s voice calling out, “Are you in there? Do I need to call the cops for a welfare check?”
You attempted to smooth down your pjs before opening the door and telling her quietly, “No, I’m here. I’m sorry I flaked on lunch I didn’t mean to I just-”
You couldn’t even finish your sentence before Celeste was wrapping you in a hug to end all hugs and asking softly, “What’s wrong?”
This simple question was always your downfall because the second that it was asked the floodgates opened and you began sobbing into Celeste’s shoulder. All of the tears you had denied yourself over the last week and a half finally began to freefall as you clung to your friend like she was a buoy out at sea and she was the only thing keeping you afloat. 
Celeste managed to maneuver the two of you back into the apartment and closed the door as you began rambling through your tight and broken voice, “At the restaurant…when we celebrated Adri…Spencer was there. We…we had sex in the bathroom but then he just finished and left me hanging. No explanation. Then I overheard his coworker call me Spencer’s love toy. He…he didn’t shut down the comment. I just thought I meant more to him than that… So I panicked and left. Almost had a panic attack outside when he came to talk with me. I thought he was going to comfort me but then he just reminded me, ‘no attachments.’” This whole spiel took you the greater part of five minutes to get out between sobs and trying to catch your breath, but Celeste being patient as always gave you her attention the whole time. You took a final deep breath before finishing with, “I really, really like him Celeste… I was a fool to think I meant more to him.”
Celeste thought on your words for the few moments it took to lead you toward the couch. She sat down and brought your head to rest on her thigh, gently detangling your hair with her fingers as she said, “I’m sorry that he made you feel that way. And I’m sorry we didn’t notice something was wrong before now. We’re your friends, we should be there for you through stuff like this.”
“It’s nothing you did,” you quickly told her. “Work kept me occupied this week so I tried to just ignore everything but then today I guess it all caught up to me…” Celeste nodded and you relaxed as she continued to mess with your hair. 
Her silence was broken when she finally said, “Not to play Devil’s advocate, because what he did was not okay, but have you thought about why he came out to check on you when you left?”
This question caused you to furrow your eyebrows together and think about it. Why did he come outside? None of the other BAU members were leaving. It was just him… You cleared your throat and admitted, “I uh… I didn’t think about that.” There was a beat of silence before you told her, “I haven’t told you guys much about his job besides that he works for the FBI, but he’s what they call a profiler. He can tell a lot about a person just by reading their body language. Maybe…”
When you trailed off, leaving your sentence unfinished, Celeste offered, “Maybe he knew you were upset from your body language so he came to comfort you?”
You thought about it for a second before telling her, “I mean maybe, but that wouldn’t explain-” Your sentence died in your throat as another knock sounded through the apartment. “Did you text Maddie or Adri?” you asked Celeste. 
“No,” Celeste replied as you began pulling yourself into a sitting position. “I’ll see who it is.”
As she did you started to realize how dehydrated you were, so you slowly made your way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As you stood, a dizzying feeling filled your head and darkness lined your peripheral vision, but you tried to ignore it as you made your way to the fridge. You vaguely heard the exchange happening at your door, but your attention was caught when Celeste called your name to get your attention. Looking up from your glass and Brita, you saw Spencer in your doorway with a bouquet of flowers and your heart gave an irregular stutter in your chest. “He says he wants to talk to you. Is that okay?” Celeste asked and you could hear the protective nature in her voice that Spencer was no doubt picking up on too. 
“Y-yeah,” you replied, nodding in case she couldn’t hear you across the room. 
“Do you want me to stay?” she asked, eyeing Spencer’s tall form almost suspiciously as she did. 
“I think I’ll be okay,” you told her, offering her a small smile. “Thank you for coming to check on me. I’ll make lunch up to you next weekend.” Celeste nodded hesitantly before grabbing her purse off of the floor where she had dropped it and began making her way out. You were sure she would stay idled in the parking lot of the complex until you texted her that everything was okay, so you made a mental note to do so after this was over. Whatever this was. 
Taking a deep breath, you offered a quiet, “Hi,” to Spencer as he approached your dining area with the rather large bouquet in hand. That couldn’t have been cheap. 
“Hey,” he said, almost as quietly as you did. He cleared his throat and said, “I…I wanted to apologize for what happened last time we saw each other.” 
Nodding, you quickly wiped a stray tear away as you told him, “I was really hurt, Spencer.”
“I know that now. So that’s why I brought you these,” he reiterated as he offered the flowers out to you. “In flower language the white roses symbolize my remorse for what happened, my seeking of forgiveness, and my hope for a new beginning between the two of us. The pink hyacinths represent new love and fresh starts. The white hyacinths represent my wish for healing between us. And the pink tulips represent my asking for forgiveness and the sincerity behind my words.” You tentatively accepted the flowers and took a moment to breathe in their natural fragrance with closed eyes as Spencer rambled on, “Did you know that floriography has been practiced for thousands of years and was even used in theatrical works, most notably Shakespeare? A lot of people take for granted what the flowers they’re giving mean, but the meaning behind each one can offer you a great deal of insight into the mind of the giver.”
You tried to hide the small smile teasing your lips in response to Spencer’s ramblings which you always found endearing by searching your cabinets for a vase to put them in. With your back turned toward him, you cleared your throat and quietly told him, “Thank you. They’re beautiful. I just…” you pulled out a vase and let out a heavy sigh as you brought it to the sink to rinse out and fill with fresh water. “Fucking me in the restroom and just leaving before I got off without an explanation hurt. Hearing what Derek said, calling me your ‘love toy’ and you agreeing to it really hurt. I… I know you said no attachments, but… I’ve spent so much time with you and got to know you and I realized that I can’t do this whole casual thing anymore…” By the time you finished your statement, you had opened the flower food and put it into the water and hugged your arms to your body as you tried to make yourself smaller amidst the palpable tension in the room. 
“I could tell by your body language as you left the restaurant that something was wrong but I didn’t know what but I followed you out regardless because I knew something was wrong and wanted to try and fix it…” Spencer admitted. So Celeste was right about that… You didn’t have time to think about that though as Spencer continued, telling you, “I really messed up by leaving you in there after what I did, and it took me a while to realize what I did wrong because… Gosh now I really sound like an ass saying it out loud.” He scratched the back of his neck as he said, “I had calculated the longest average time an adult male takes in the restroom and was limiting myself to that time limit as we…did what we did in there. I knew that most of the team had seen you pass by and so I didn’t want them to think we were having sex in a restroom of all places. Not that I am ashamed to be with you at all, with you I’ve had the best few months of my life I think, but there are some aspects of my life I would like to keep private from them.”
“Oh,” you breathed out, unable to help the huff of a laugh that escaped your lips at the admission. What a truly Spencer reason to leave you hot and bothered. The bit about ‘the best few months of his life’ made your heart soar once again as you finally looked up to make eye contact with him. 
A smile broke out onto his lips when his eyes met yours and he slowly approached you as he rambled on, saying, “And about the whole response to what Derek said. I panicked. He’s usually the one who has all the girls and is some sort of expert love maker or something, and I’m way less experienced than that. So when he brought it up I didn’t know how to respond so I guess I just blurted out what would make me look cool to him. Which I realized was a mistake far too long after, when the team sort of had to give me a reality check…”
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Just the next morning after the restaurant incident left Spencer reeling, trying to make sense of what happened between the two of you, the BAU was called out on a case. After the first two days on the case, JJ approached Spencer as they were packing up for the day and asked, “Spence, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I-” he tried to say but couldn’t finish as Emily too approached him while putting her hand up and shaking her head. 
“You’ve been moody. You don’t get moody for no reason,” she argued. 
“I’m not moody,” Spencer defended himself. 
“Yes you are, you’ve been off since that night at the Italian place. What happened?” JJ asked. By then more of the team had started to gather around and he noticed that even some of the locals had poked their heads up from their work to listen to what was now looking like an intervention. 
Spencer sighed and threw his hands up exasperatedly as he said, “Fine! You wanna know why I’ve been in a bad mood? It’s because she told me to go to Hell and since then I just…I haven’t been able to concentrate. She’s on my mind all the time and I’ve just been trying to figure out what I did wrong so I can fix it!”
“Oh so it’s a lovers spa-” Derek started to say.
“Don’t you go making more comments,” Spencer snapped, which made Derek freeze, the smile melting off of his mouth. “Your ‘love toy’ comment is one of the things that set her off. I know that for sure.”
“Okay so we know that. What else happened?” JJ asked as she took a seat in a chair nearby, seemingly fully concentrated on the conversation now. 
“I, uh…” Spencer faltered, feeling awkward about being open about his sex life in front of so many people seeing as how Hotch and Rossi had wandered into the space too. He felt heat creeping up into his cheeks as he blurted out, “We had sex in the bathroom and I had calculated how long I had before you guys got suspicious about what was happening so by the time that limit rolled around I had finished but didn’t have time to get her there but I still left because I didn’t want any of you to know what was going on.”
The response reminded him of the time they all found out you existed in the first place and he struggled to hear all of the comments. “Spencer Reid, you did what?!” came from Penelope. Emily groaned in frustration as she said, “We already all knew what was happening in that restroom!” One of the locals chimed in with, “Oh come on man, you can’t just leave her hanging like that!” “Yeah, you messed up big time,” was JJ’s snide remark as she leaned her head back and rolled her eyes. 
The chaotic chorus was interrupted by David clearing his throat to get the room’s attention. When the focus was on him, he wisely pointed out, “I think we can all agree that seeking forgiveness is what you need to do here. Do it right when we get back from the case.” The older man patted Spencer on the shoulder before continuing with, “Life isn’t going to slow down or wait for an ideal opportunity to make things right. If you really want things with this girl to work out, then you’re going to have to accept that there may be obstacles in the way and hurdles you both need to jump over. You have a village behind you, kid. A village that is willing to go to bat to protect both you and those you love. We’ve done it before and we’ll do it again. The unknown shouldn’t be the reason you hold yourself back from what you really want. So go after her.”
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Spencer’s large hands gently took yours into his and when you didn’t deny the touch, he squeezed them and told you, “You aren’t just an object or ‘love toy’ to me. I promise you that.” He took a shaking breath and you looked up to see tears rimming his eyes as he said, “I was just so scared of something happening to you because of my job that I denied my feelings for you. I have been targeted and taken by unsubs before, Hotch’s ex wife who was in witsec was tracked and killed, JJ’s family was targeted just a few weeks after we met… I didn’t want any of those things to happen to you. But I also didn’t want to lose you from my life so I made a deal with myself that we would keep things casual, but I never followed up after that first morning if that was okay with you…”
Tears began welling up in your eyes in response to his words. You knew that he said the job was tough on relationships, but you never thought too into what he was protecting you from… It showed that he truly cared in your eyes. That he had thought this through. 
You were too stunned to speak and the dizzy feeling returned in response to all of the new information. Seeming to notice this, he guided you to the couch in your sitting area and asked, “I trust you know what the butterfly effect is?”
“I do,” you confirmed, curious as to where this was going. 
“Well sometimes I get to thinking and I wonder what the probability of us meeting would have been if that butterfly hadn’t made you spill your drink on me. Think of it as an actualization of the theory. I calculated that the odds would have been slim to none considering how far off our lines of work are from each other and it makes me sad to think that in virtually every other reality we never met. Because you’ve changed my life. And yes, the sex is great, but so is the conversation! You are always so genuinely interested in what I have to say and it’s so refreshing because a lot of the people I’m close to have gotten tired of my ramblings over the years. I didn’t realize until I didn’t have you in my life anymore that I wanted to come home early from cases to be with you, and not just intimately. I wanted to come home to you in my apartment - what would be our apartment. To bring you flowers and your favorite chocolates. To cook dinner with you and watch your favorite movies. To show you my favorite books and read yours in return! I’m usually one to look at the statistics and facts of it all, but just this once I would like to believe that the butterfly effect is real and that it brought us together.”
“Spencer, I-” you started, but stopped as a quiet sob left your mouth and you covered it with your hand. When you regained your composure, you nodded and told him, “I want that too. So much. I want to come home to you reading impossibly fast through my entire book collection. I want to take trips to bookstores together. I want to make your favorite meal when you get home from a case no matter what time of day it is. I want to properly meet your teammates from the BAU. I want it all. Because I-” you stopped your rambling once more before too much came out. 
You didn’t have to worry about it though, because Spencer took the words right out of your mouth as he said, “I love you.”
You felt weightless in response to his confession and you felt the biggest smile break out onto your face before you whispered back, “I love you too.” 
“Can I kiss you?” Spencer asked as he leaned his forehead on yours. 
“Always,” you replied, the smile on your lips evident in your voice. 
The kiss was the most gentle one Spencer had ever given you and you felt your heart soar and a kaleidoscope of butterflies explode in your stomach once more, reminding you of the day you met. And this time you were sure that Spencer wouldn’t let your soaring heart fall. 
After a few moments though, gone was the gentle kiss that brought you two back together. Soon the kiss was filled with need and desire as you finally noticed the reaction that your body had been having to the man who was now under your hips as you straddled him. Desire once more guided your actions as you moved your hips on Spencer’s, feeling his arousal starting to grow as you lapped into each others’ mouth. 
A low and muffled groan left Spencer’s mouth as he moved his hands to rest on your ass and began massaging in time with the sway of your hips. At the same time as you began to ask, “Can I-?” Spencer was whispering, “I need-” You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth before you began moving off of him and down onto the floor between his spread legs, saying, “I take it we’re on the same page then?”
“Yes,” was his instant response as his lust filled eyes looked down at you on your knees between his legs, your hands gliding up his thighs and to his belt buckle. After getting the belt undone you of course took a moment to tease his stiff member, earning a small buck of his hips and a beg of, “Please,” almost whimpered from his lips. 
“How can I no to that?” you asked with a small smile on your lips as you began to unbutton and unzip Spencer’s slacks. When you pulled his slacks and underwear down in one fell swoop, you smiled up at Spencer as you asked, “Have I ever told you how handsome you are?”
“A-a few times. Shit-” he moaned out as you began teasing his head with your tongue, focusing on the spot on the underside just below the head that you knew drove him crazy. When you took him into your mouth fully, one of Spencer’s hands flew right into your hair, lightly tugging as you took as much of him into your mouth as you could. 
You bobbed up and down a few times before hollowing out your cheeks around him and as you did, the grip he had on your hair tightened and you let out a low moan in the back of your throat at the feeling. Spencer’s response was instant, letting out a loud moan into the otherwise quiet room that sounded somewhat like your name. Within seconds though, he was tapping at your temple and whispering, “W-wait. Stop.”
You instantly stopped what you were doing, feeling your heart clench at the words. Wiping the excess spit from your chin, you said quietly, “I-I’m sorry did I do something-?”
“No, no, no you didn’t do anything wrong, I just…” Spencer said as his chest heaved. “I want to do this the right way. I want to make love to you.” 
Your mouth opened slightly in response to the words as you sat back on the floor, shocked at the implication. Before you could come up with a response, Spencer was pulling you up from the floor and coaxing your oversized t-shirt off, revealing that you had not been wearing a bra this whole time which made him groan as he began toying with your now fully exposed breast. He began kissing you once more and a whimper escaped your mouth as he began toying with your hard nipple and you began pushing at his vest and button up, silently telling him to get rid of them. 
During all of this, the two of you began fumbling toward your bedroom, dropping clothes as you went and leaving a trail from the couch to your bed. When the backs of your knees met the edge of the bed, Spencer collapsed on top of you which ended up with you in a fit of giggles as he rolled both you and himself over to be in the bed properly. When you were comfortably on the pillow, you teasingly asked, “So what does love making entail, Doctor?”
“Something more gentle than I usually give you,” he replied as he lined himself up with your entrance. “Something more meaningful,” he added as he pushed in slowly. 
The stretch around Spencer was something you needed a moment to adjust to and he gave you time to do so as he buried his face into your neck and let out what sounded like a relieved sigh. This was already a change of pace. Usually the two of you were so needy, he never gave you time to adjust to his size and you always took the sting in stride with the pounding he usually gave you, but this…this was different. It felt new. It was gentle. 
Wrapping your legs around Spencer’s waist, you sighed contentedly before whispering, “You can move.”
And so he did, starting off with small thrusts that you were sure he was doing so he didn’t lose it right then and there after the oral you had just given him before you started. But then they transitioned into long and languid strokes, almost completely pulling out from you before slowly pushing back in. At one point Spencer grabbed a small throw pillow you had on the bed and lifted your hips to place it under them and from that moment you knew you were a goner. The angle made it easier for him to hit that spongy spot within your walls and you let out an almost pornographic moan when he did. Over and over again. 
“You sound so beautiful,” Spencer grunted out which made you open your eyes to look up at him. You were met with his smile as he reiterated, “You are so beautiful.”
The compliment had your body reeling and you felt the coil in your abdomen tightening as he continued to brush over that spot within you. “Spencer, I-” your words were cut off by a moan when he brought the hand now not supporting his body weight to your clit and began rubbing gentle circles on it. Your breathing began to become labored as the pleasure continued to mount until it was almost too much. “I’m close,” you told him, feeling your core starting to twitch around him as he filled you up so well. 
“Me too, sweet girl,” Spencer panted out, leaning down to place a gentle kiss to your lips. 
As cheesy as it is to say, the tender moment was what broke you. A litany of pleasure filled sounds escaped your mouth that were swallowed by Spencer’s as he picked up his pace just the slightest bit as you began contracting around him, your orgasm ripping through your body in the most intense way possible. Spencer followed behind you quickly, burying his head into your neck once more as he moaned out his pleasure between sloppy kisses placed on your throat. 
Spencer collapsed slightly on top of you, slightly to the side as he slipped out of you, some of his release following suit as you both breathed heavily in the aftermath of what you would deem the most pleasurable sex you had ever had. With hands wandering in mindless shapes over your body, Spencer mumbled into your skin, “I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”
“I love you too,” you told him with a smile on your lips. You never wanted to let go of this feeling. 
A few minutes passed of just basking in each other’s warm embrace before Spencer raised his head and kissed your lips, telling you, “Let’s get cleaned up. I’m thinking that after we shower I can take you to dinner? On a proper date?” 
“I would love that,” you replied as he helped you off the bed and into the shower. 
That night after dinner Spencer outdid himself with the love making, somehow managing to drag three more orgasms out of you, each more intense than the last. As you laid there in bed that night with Spencer’s arm draped over you, you silently thanked the world for sending that butterfly into your path that fateful morning.
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a/n: thank you all so much for the outpouring of love on Casual! i really hope this lived up to expectations that may have been built after the first part! Derek still hasn't been redeemed and Reader still hasn't properly met the BAU team (especially Rossi who was honestly the MVP here), so i'm thinking we'll see each other again in a potential part three? ;)
part three: Right Person, Right Time
taglist: @spicyspirit @misserabella @lillianacristina @lullvu
those who didn't ask to be tagged but y'all were so kind in the comments so i will anyways to make sure you see this post <3 (apologizes if i am overstepping by tagging)
@lilrios-world @theylovemelody @lea24sposts @espressoparis @crazy4books1 @i-live-in-spite @mega-kittyglitter-1 @rumplereids
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banj0possum · 1 year
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umm is it possible to get a yandere! male!siren x shy!gn reader?
Fish Bait
Yandere!Siren x GN Reader
CW: Kidnapping, assault, minor stalking, murder, thalassophobia maybe?
🌊 You are quite shy when it came to talking to people. You found the whole 'socializing thing' a bit overwhelming considering how rough and loud the rest of the people in your academy was.
🌊 You much preferred staying by the shore with a nice book or drawing book to enjoy the sound of the waves with. The ocean breeze and wailing of seagulls never failed to relax you.
🌊 One day, you heard the strange sound of splashing by the tide pools along the more rocks area of the shore. You thought it was a fish or some other animal that got stuck in one of the pools after the tide retreated and got up to help it out.
🌊 But what you saw was no animal, well, half animal. In one of the pools was a man with the lower half of a fish, his scales glistened wondrously as it splashed in the water.
🌊 The man looked at you with wide eyes and froze. You put your hands up to show you meant no harm.
🌊 "Please! Spare me! I just want to go home!"
🌊 "Calm down! I won't hurt you!"
🌊 He shook with fear as your hands drew closer to him.
🌊 You then pulled him up from the pool and carried him to the sea, he stares at you as you gently lowered him unto the water.
🌊 As soon as his tail was submerged in the sea, he swam out of your grasp and went a distance away from you, part of his head peeking out of the water as his red eyes looked at yours.
🌊 "Well...safe travels.." You mutter, wading back to shore, but the merman peeks his mouth out the water and shouts to you.
🌊 "You're not going to ask anything in return?"
🌊 You look back. "Uhm..no, I'm fine, thanks anyway.."
🌊 "Hmm, you know...you can come with me to my home. I'll grant you the power to breathe under water and you can enjoy the treasures I have there. What do you say? It's the least I can do for what you've done for me!"
🌊 "Nah, I'm good. Be safe though, I heard theres pirates that hunt merfolk nowadays..." You continue your way to shore but the merman swims quickly to your side.
🌊 "Don't you want to be rid of those insolent fools you call schoolmates? I can give you a life people only dream of!"
🌊 "I'm not really..interested..."
🌊 "...You're not?"
🌊 "Yeah..."
🌊 "...Oh..uh..ok...wow-um..well, bye I guess..." The man stutters before sinking his head back into the water.
🌊 You sigh, that was some encounter. You doubt you'd run into something like that again...
🌊 Boy howdy you were wrong.
🌊 You'd spot the strange boy again and again, always hiding back behind the rock or piece of driftwood he was watching you from.
🌊 Sometimes you'd also find trinkets and beautiful stones laid on the shore. You never took them though; you didn't want to take something someone probably lost. The merman would grumble to himself every time you ignored his baits.
🌊 You'd also see him again trapped in the pools, feigning sorrow that poor little him got stuck again during another low tide. What ever shall he do?
🌊 Your days would go on like this, the merman desperately trying to lure you into the sea but to no avail due to your shy and polite nature.
🌊 Him basically stalking you turned to him directly talking to you and trying to get you to go with him in the water.
🌊 "Oh dear, I've been stuck at this reef for ages! I just can't get out! Could you help me please? I promise not to drown you!"
🌊 "No thanks, I'm on the last chapter of my book..."
🌊 "My, my, it's so lonely in the ocean, not a playmate in sight, come down with me so we can really get to know each other yeah?"
🌊 "I don't really wanna get my clothes wet..."
🌊 What you thought was a potentially dangerous creature of the sea became a whiny, attention-seeking drama queen.
🌊 Eventually, you'd learn his name is Caspian. He gave up a bit on trying to lure you and settled on making small talk with you.
🌊 Most of your conversations would revolve around your cultures, how you two lived compared to eachother.
🌊 "So those silver things with teeth aren't combs? Interesting...tell me more!"
🌊 He more or less looked up to you because of the knowledge you'd tell him, even though it was all basic things ever human knows, but he wasn't a human so, I guess it's alright.
🌊 He'd try to crawl onto shore to see what you were reading or drawing. You'd have to scoot away from him because he was dripping wet, and you didn't want your paper to get soiled.
🌊 Please read to him! He loves it when you read out loud the books you bring!
🌊 Life seemed pretty content with you having a friend to talk to, one who's not judgmental of your quiet personality.
🌊 That was until one day, you heard laughing and shouting from your usual spot.
🌊 You saw your classmates, waist deep in the water trying to drag Caspian to the shore, the merman snarling and biting the air around him angrily as the bullies degrade and laugh at his attempts to wriggle out of their grasp.
🌊 "Look at this, boys! With this ugly thing we can buy the whole pub if we wanted to!"
🌊 "H-hey! Leave him alone!" You shouted, dropping your things as you ran to help your friend, but one of them punched you with in the face and grabbed you, about to hit you again.
🌊 "What? You're gonna let this siren kill everyone that comes to this beach? God you're dumb! No wonder why you have no friends!"
🌊 He was about to give another blow when you both heard a shrill cry from the ocean.
🌊 The water pooled with crimson as only the splashing of limbs can be seen form the shore, cries and gurgles are heard from the writhing gore. Your classmate rushes into the water to save his friends before the violent splashing stops and the red patch of bloody water extends towards him and around him until you see him get yanked below into the water, a splash of a fish tail verified in your mind that it was Caspian.
🌊 You could feel your heart pounding as you see the siren lift its head from the water, his blood red eyes staring at you again with razor sharp teeth bared.
🌊 "P-please...don't hurt me..I didn't lead them to you I swear!" You cried as he crawled to your shivering form.
🌊 You held your breath as he pulled you in a wet hug, your clothes getting stained by the salty, bloody water.
🌊 "Oh my darling~ I know you would never hurt me~ But we're not safe here anymore..I fear I'll have to take you somewhere safer...somewhere away from those disgusting creatures."
🌊 You couldn't even react before you were pulled into the water forcefully, you kicked and swam all you could to get him to let go of you, but soon enough, your whole body was under the water. The only thing that was left of you were your things by the sand, and bubbles that rose to the surface before stopping.
🌊 "You'll be safe here my love, my most wonderful treasure~"
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this one was by far one of my favorite bois ive written, he's so mhmhmghghghmmmhmhmmhhh
5K notes · View notes
kaisacobra · 8 months
Text
Calypso's Curse - Tara Carpenter
Summary: Tara was used to having bad things happen to her all the time. She was used to see people leave her life as if she meant nothing, but she never thought you would be one of those people, especially if she was the one who caused it.
Warnings: Fem!Reader, mentions of violence, angst
Word Count: 5.1k
Second part of Second Best
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Tara had gotten used to waking up with the sunlight bothering her eyes and having a strong headache caused by the hangover. Like any other Saturday, she got up slowly and stretched with a grimace, proceeding to go through the rest of her morning routine.
Everything seemed to be as usual until she stepped out of the room and into the kitchen. There she felt the unusual heavy mood in her apartment, normally filled with life and multiple voices chatting animatedly. Something had happened the night before. Something was wrong.
Sam had her back turned, cooking something in a pot that smelled very good. Sitting at the table in front of the stove, their roommate Quinn was scrolling through her phone with no expression until she noticed Tara standing right in front of her. With a playful smile, the redhead lifted her head to face the girl.
"Good morning, roomie. Did you have fun yesterday? I heard it was a blast."
Tara noticed when her sister's back tensed upon hearing about her presence, but she still didn't take her eyes off the stove to even offer a greeting. Flashes from the previous night appeared behind the younger Carpenter's eyes, and she remembered some things, especially the part where Sam broke into the house and tased a guy.
If anyone should be annoyed, it should be me. She thought with irritation as she crossed her arms. Deciding to ignore Sam's apparent bad mood, Tara turned her gaze back to Quinn, who still had a look of amusement on her face, as if she knew something Tara didn't.
"It was great! Until someone ruined my fun." Tara replied with sarcasm in her voice, making a point to increase the volume of her speech so that Sam could hear it well.
Perhaps it was a bit unfair to be so rude to someone who only wanted to protect her, but Tara was fed up with feeling like she was in a prison while attending college in a city of endless possibilities. The girl didn't want to be stuck dwelling on the past, and what better way to keep her mind occupied than drinking and dancing with strangers until 5 in the morning?
Besides, she wasn't alone. She knew that y/n would never let anything bad happen to her. Tara was safe.
"Oh, I think you had more than enough fun." The older Carpenter finally turned around, carrying a plate of omelets and a judgmental tone. She placed the plate on the table in front of Tara, and the girl felt some of her anger dissolve with her sister's gesture. "You don't remember anything that happened?"
From the corner of her eye, the younger girl could see Quinn looking back and forth between the two sisters as if witnessing a tennis match. Tara sighed and finally sat at the table, picking up a fork to start her breakfast. "I remember you ruining the vibe by attacking some random guy."
"There's even a video!" Quinn added with a laugh, placing her phone on the glass surface of the table and showing the screen to the two girls. The video was an endless loop of the exact moment when Sam used the taser on the guy's groin, and he fell flat on the ground. The redhead lifted her head, expecting to see smiles on the faces of the two sisters like hers, but upon seeing Sam's stern expression, she quickly added, "But he deserved it, Tara. He was a jerk."
"No, no." The older Carpenter shook her head negatively, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter behind her, her face displaying a mix of irritation and sarcasm. "Apparently, Tara's idea of fun is to be harassed by a disgusting man. I'm so sorry for ruining your incredible plans to become a victim of some idiot."
The younger one huffed with irritation and aggressively stabbed a piece of the omelet with her fork. Deep down, she was grateful for what Sam had done, even though it might become gossip of the week at her college. But Tara was too proud to admit it. So, instead of thanking her sister, she rolled her eyes and started chewing on her breakfast. "Nothing serious was going to happen, okay? Y/n was there; you know she would never let me do something like that."
The already awkward atmosphere in the room seemed to chill even more. Sam straightened her back further, and her jaw clenched as she stared at her own feet. Quinn, notoriously known for not taking anything seriously, raised her eyebrows and looked at Tara like a deer caught in headlights. Something was definitely wrong.
"What?" The girl asked, trying to swallow the food in her mouth, pretending that her anxiety didn't weigh on her throat like a bowling ball.
"Tara, you were awful to y/n yesterday. Seriously, she left the party crying because you said some outrageous things." Sam sighed and ran her hand over her forehead as if she were exhausted. Her tone wasn't angry, but it was worse because it was the calm voice of someone so disappointed that they had given up. "Why do you do this? You know she loves you, so why do you hurt her like this?"
Tara's stomach twisted into a knot upon hearing what she had put you through last night. It was true that she wasn't the best friend, but she would never wish harm on you, especially if she were the one at fault.
"Are you sure about that? Are you sure you don't enjoy breaking her heart into pieces every time, and she brings you the shards, hoping you'll glue them back together?"
"Shut up." Tara silenced her intrusive thoughts and looked at Sam as if nothing were wrong with her. "We're friends. We argue sometimes, but it's normal. I'll talk to her today, and everything will be fine."
That statement sounded more like wishful thinking from Tara than anything else.
"I don't know, maybe you should call her to make sure," Quinn spoke again, this time looking at Tara with a kind of amusement. "Who knows, maybe she's tired of being your plaything?"
"Oh, because you know all about turning people into your playthings, don't you?" The younger Carpenter retorted angrily, grabbing her phone with a sudden need to prove the redhead wrong. She searched for your contact number and pressed the call button, muttering a curse at her roommate. "Fuck you, Quinn."
The call rang twice. The other two girls stared at Tara with curiosity as she held the phone close to her ear, silently pleading for you to answer soon so she could wipe that smug smile off Quinn's face.
"The number you called is currently unavailable."
Huh?
The girl looked at the screen with confusion on her face. That had never happened before. You always answered her calls, even the ones made at 4 in the morning. Could it be a signal problem?
She went to her text messages and started typing a message. It wouldn't be as instant as a call, but at least you would respond when you read it. Tara typed a simple message (are you up?) and pressed send, but...
The text was green. Why was it green?
"Oh... Maybe she blocked you, roomie." Quinn's voice made Tara jump a little. The girl was so stunned that she didn't even realize she had spoken aloud. She looked between Sam and Quinn, one with evident disappointment and the other with mild surprise.
"No! No, this..." Tara vehemently shook her head, gripping the edge of the table as if it were the only thing keeping her grounded. "...This has to be a mistake!"
"Tara, I told you that you went too far-"
"NO! Okay, just... just no!" The girl interrupted Sam with a shout. Her breathing was erratic, and she suddenly felt dizzy. You always promised her that you would be here, always came back, no matter what happened. "I'll call Mindy, okay? They must be together, and y/n will explain that her phone broke or something. Everything's still fine."
With trembling hands, Tara searched for Mindy's name in the contacts list and pressed call as soon as she found it. Her feet were tapping on the floor at a frenetic pace, and she had to restrain her own hands to avoid biting her nails and showing even more of her anxiety in front of Sam and Quinn.
Tara knew that sometimes she pushed you too far, but she only did it because it was necessary, right? She wasn't like her intrusive thoughts suggested, she didn't truly wish you harm, right? She couldn't have hurt you that much, she just... couldn't.
"Tara, why the fuck are you calling?" Mindy questioned as soon as the call was answered, not waiting for any greeting beforehand. Her voice overflowed with impatience, which wasn't uncommon for her personality, but Tara felt surprised by how hostile the tone sounded.
"Shh. Speak quieter; Y/n just went to sleep." A whisper belonging to Anika was heard not far from the microphone. Mindy apologized, lowering the volume of her voice, but Tara had already heard enough to feel her heart racing.
"What do you mean, she just went to sleep? It's 9 am!" She spoke with concern, standing up from the chair she was sitting in, letting her restless feet carry her back and forth. "Is she sick? Does she need me to bring some medicine?"
On the other side of the table, Sam frowned in concern at what she was hearing. "Y/n is sick? Does she need anything?"
Tara gestured for her sister to wait with her free hand as she tried to calm herself. She could barely remember the last time you were sick, but she vividly remembered going to your house and seeing you lying in bed, looking like you’d been hit by a truck, loopy with fever. She was so young at the time that she had been terrified, thinking that her curse would finally catch up with you, and she would lose you to some stupid illness.
She remembered helping your mom make soup and feeling like the happiest girl in the world when she saw you eating it with great effort despite your sore throat, just because she had made it.
The curse didn't catch up with you, and Tara felt useful for the first time in her life.
"She's not sick; she just took a while to sleep because she was too busy crying her eyes out yesterday." Mindy retorted venomously. "What the hell is your problem, Tara? You destroyed her!"
"I-I didn't mean to... It wasn’t my intention to..."
"Wasn’t your intention?" Mindy interrupted the girl's stammer with an aggressive whisper. "You've been an asshole to her for years, and you still want to tell me you had no intention?!"
"I'm sorry, okay? I don't know why..." Tara let the words come out of her mouth with effort, trying not to let the tears that threatened to fall escape. "I don't know why I'm like this; I just... Tell her I'm sorry."
Mindy scoffed mockingly. "Tell her yourself. And preferably, wait a week to do it because I don't think Y/n wants to see you anytime soon."
When the call ended, Tara could swear she heard her own heart crack. She looked at her hands, one still holding the phone, not knowing what to feel or what to do in the moment. Maybe in a few moments, everything would hit her like a tsunami. Anger, shame, panic, sadness, all directed at herself. But at that moment, she just felt nothing, as if a void had opened in her chest and gradually expanded, consuming her entire being.
Sam asked if you were sick again. Quinn wanted to know how you were feeling. Tara didn't answer any of the questions and ran as fast as she could to lock herself in her room.
_
It had been a week since Tara last saw you.
Your absence hit her like a train, but the girl was doing her best to respect your space since all this situation was her fault anyway. It was so strange not having you by her side, even as a silent presence, that she felt like an incomplete puzzle.
At least she knew you were okay, and that was enough to calm some of her nerves. Of course, psychologically, you weren't in the best place, but Mindy had assured Tara (after much insistence from the girl) that you were eating, sleeping well, and attending classes just like always, which made the younger Carpenter feel relieved for not ruining even more of your life.
The group of friends seemed to be under the custody of divorced parents. One day, Tara would meet Mindy and Anika for lunch, and they would talk civilly, even though the disapproval of the twin about her actions was evident. The next day, she would have lunch with Chad and Ethan, who tried to lighten the mood with silly jokes and sought Tara's opinion on "guy stuff."
She knew this rotation scheme was also happening with you, and Tara couldn't help but wonder how you were dealing with it. Did you talk about her when she wasn't around? Or maybe you were trying to erase any trace of Tara from your own mind?
Either way, in your absence, Tara had plenty of time to sink into her own pit of guilt, which gave her time to analyze her own actions. She didn't know how things had escalated to this point, but she knew exactly how they had started.
_
You were both 13, nearing the end of summer, and about to embark on the frightening world of high school. Tara remembers every detail of that day perfectly because it might have been the best day of her life. She recalls the two of you lying on her bed, the bedroom door closed to keep the cool air from the air conditioner from escaping into the hallway. Her mom wasn't home, as usual, but Tara couldn't remember the excuse this time.
Tara remembers seeing you laugh at some scene from Child's Play playing on TV while finishing your watermelon popsicle. She noticed that the sweet treat seemed to make your lips redder and more hydrated, and a question about their taste seemed to pound in her brain like a drum. She shook her head to shake that off, feeling her own face warm.
"What nonsense! Can't you just, like, kick that doll hard?" You were lying face down, but turned your head to flash a smile at Tara. She could barely comprehend your words, finding it more interesting to notice how your legs were stretched upward in the most adorable position and how your eyes seemed to sparkle with amusement. You were clearly happy, and Tara was happy about that.
"It's the power of the script! I don't think you can defeat a possessed doll with just a kick." Tara answered your question, shrugging and looking at her own hands, where the remnants of a strawberry popsicle were. Anything to avoid looking at you and feeling whatever was happening in her chest.
A moment of silence settled for a few seconds, and Tara thought you had returned to watching the movie until she heard your voice again. "Was it good?"
She raised her head in confusion and looked at you with a frown, which was met with a thoughtful look from your side. "What do you mean?"
"The popsicle. I wanted to taste it, but I know strawberry is your favorite, and there was only one." You pouted, and, God, how Tara felt something inside her sway. Her gaze fixated on your lips for a few seconds, and all her thoughts turned into mush.
"You can taste it on my lips if you want."
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
The girl closed her eyes and grimaced, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth. Damn her intrusive thoughts. "I-I was joking, sorry." She spoke next, trying not to make the situation even more awkward.
Still with her eyes closed, she felt the warm touch of your hand on her arm, and one side of the bed sank a bit closer than before. "No! It's fine. You know, it's not such a bad idea..."
"What?" Tara widened her eyes, unable to believe that she had actually heard that come out of your throat. She could see you clearly now, sitting cross-legged with both your thighs almost touching.
"I mean... All our friends have kissed someone." You started to argue, gesturing with your hands as you always did. "Chad has already kissed someone, Mindy even kissed a girl! I don't want to go to high school and be teased for being a bad kisser! At least this way, we both would have some experience!"
Tara felt her own head short-circuit. She couldn't even interpret what she was feeling with your suggestion, with sweaty palms, a rapidly beating heart, and a dry throat. Maybe she was just too scared by the idea of kissing someone.
Yeah. That makes sense.
"But we're friends. Wouldn't that be weird?"
"Of course not!" You countered with the energy of someone who clearly had thought about the answer to that question before. "It's even better! If we're bad, we can just tell each other and practice until we get it right!"
The young Carpenter's head was spinning just by thinking about kissing you not only once but multiple times. She couldn't stop staring at your lips, the question about their taste now seeming more urgent and necessary, like some kind of thirst.
Without trusting her own voice, let alone her self-control, Tara just nodded and hoped you understood the signal to take the initiative and get even closer.
Your mouth still carried the scent of the damn watermelon popsicle, but the fragrance of your subtle perfume also mixed and invaded Tara's senses with the force of a wave. She kept her hands close to her body, not knowing what to do with them as your faces got so close that your breaths collided.
When your lips finally met in the sweetest and gentlest kiss possible, Tara saw an explosion of colors behind her closed eyes, like fireworks. In fact, her whole body seemed to catch fire, and her chest could barely contain her heart. That was the first time Tara felt so... alive.
She understood everything now. She loved you. Fuck, she loved you.
Fuck. She loved you.
Tara immediately felt panic churn in her stomach, but she acted as if nothing had happened, just like you did. Inside, however, all her senses were on high alert for an imminent catastrophe.
She loved you, really loved you, and Tara knew you well enough to know after that kiss that you felt the same way about her. That was the problem. Tara wasn't made to be loved; she didn't deserve it.
You see, Tara felt like a myth she studied in one of her history classes, the myth of Calypso. A nymph who had been trapped on an island by the gods, and her eternal punishment was falling in love with people who could never be with her, causing a cycle of broken hearts and unrequited love for millennia.
Every time Tara loved too much and was reciprocated, the universe took someone away from her. It had happened with her father, with Sam, and more recently with her mother. She couldn't let it happen again; she couldn't lose you.
It was then, in desperation, that she stopped talking to you for a week, trying to make the feelings of at least one of you decrease until they completely vanished. But the days passed, and nothing changed. Tara still felt intense and conflicting emotions for you, and from the messages you sent, everything pointed to you feeling the same.
Avoiding you forever wouldn't work, and Tara missed you too much to simply cut you out of her life completely to avoid future suffering. She decided, then, that the best way to resolve this mess would be to get closer to other people, trying to force what she felt for you onto someone else.
She could lose anyone else, but not you.
A few weeks later, high school finally began, and she met Amber. The timing couldn't have been more perfect.
Tara Carpenter might have many flaws, but one thing she had always been good at was reading people and their intentions. The moment she met Amber, Tara could identify that the girl was exactly what she needed: interesting, attractive, but fundamentally distant.
She knew it hurt you. The distancing, the increasingly scarce conversations, her sudden interest in someone else even after you had shared the best kiss of your lives. Tara didn't want to hurt you, not really, but it was necessary if it meant she could keep you in her life.
And Amber... Amber was perfect for the role. Tara always knew that the girl would never love her more than she loved herself, knew that she was the type to disappear for a few days without explanation, but always came back with a sly smile and lame excuses. Tara loved her because she would never love her enough to leave, she could love without fear, even if the feeling wasn't reciprocated with the same strength.
At the end of the day, what mattered was that the relationship made Tara suppress what she felt for you, so nothing bad would happen to your friendship, right?
You loved her. She loved Amber. No more Calypso's curse.
_
After replaying all these memories in her mind, Tara felt a desperate urge to laugh. Wasn't it at least a little funny that she had concocted this entire plan and included a psychopathic killer in her group of friends (which consumed her every day as she blamed herself for last year's attacks) only to end up losing you anyway in the end?
She shouldn't be laughing, but Tara didn't know if she had the capacity to control what she felt anymore.
It was expected that the halls of Blackmore University would be empty during that afternoon period. Normally, other students were attending elective classes, participating in clubs, or training in some sport to enrich their academic resumes. Tara, contrary to that, roamed the halls like a lost soul without direction, as if walking aimlessly would solve any of her problems.
But maybe this walk had indeed been a good idea, as she managed to see the exact moment when you came out of the campus counselor's office. She sighed when she saw you, looking carefree and definitely less miserable than she was. You even smiled, and even though the smile wasn't for her, just that sight made her heart beat excitedly and a sense of peace ran through her body.
At least, that was until the girl who was receiving your smile appeared in Tara's view.
She was... something. She had a confident posture that made her seem even taller than she was and a carefree expression on her face that was almost charming. The girl seemed well-off, dressed in clothes that seemed to be designer and a sports duffel bag hanging from her shoulders. She was... pretty, maybe? Tara didn't know why, but she was reluctant to give any compliments to that stranger.
Maybe because Tara didn't know her, but you spoke to her with the ease of someone who had known her for a lifetime. You were laughing together and maintaining eye contact in a way that, for some reason, bothered Tara. So, she let her impulsiveness take over and marched toward you without the slightest plan.
"Y/n? Hi!" She announced her presence, and something in her chest hurt when she noted the change from your previously happy expression to a closed one. "I haven't seen you in a while! I thought it was because you were sad and needed some time, but you're clearly better than I am!"
She didn't know why she had said those words in such a passive-aggressive tone. Tara knew she was in the wrong, but still, watching your interaction with this stranger made her blood boil. However, she felt shame for her own reaction when you looked at her with a disappointed expression.
“Seriously, Tara? Is that all you have to say?” You spoke, crossing your arms as if you needed protection. Tara couldn't help but notice how the icy tone in your voice was new and cut through her like a razor.
The blue-eyed girl next to you seemed to straighten even more, positioning herself a little closer to you as some sort of bodyguard. Ridiculous, if you asked Tara. "Is there a problem here?"
"And who are you?" The younger Carpenter asked, trying to control her own voice not to make you even more annoyed. The new girl didn't seem to care about the hostile atmosphere and flashed a confident smile, looking down at Tara in a way that she didn't know if it was intentional or not.
"I'm Kate. Kate Bishop. Maybe you've never seen me if you're the same age as y/n here." Kate made a point to touch your shoulder when mentioning you, and Tara felt like a tsunami of hatred was forming in her stomach. "I'm a junior, so we probably don't have the same classes."
"Speaking of classes..." The taller girl turned completely to you, as if Tara wasn't even present. "I have to go now, but I'll see you later, y/n?"
Tara watched begrudgingly as your face formed a small smile when addressing Kate. "Sure. See you later, Bishop."
You exchanged a hug that, again, in Tara's opinion, was a bit longer than it should have been. She watched as the so-called Kate Bishop walked away down the corridor, adjusting the sports bag on her shoulder and striding like a damn show-off model.
"If she's a junior and you're a freshman, how did you two meet?" Tara inquired, feeling protective of you. After all that had happened in the past, she thought she had a bit of a right to doubt people's intentions. That was the only reason she was so intrigued by your new companion, obviously.
You sighed tiredly, as if you already expected that kind of behavior from her. "We met in the counseling center line." You pointed to the counseling center door a few meters to your left. "I'm going to therapy sessions, you know? Not that you'll care."
Tara felt an immense guilt instantly. She could now see the dark bags under your eyes and a clear loss of the bright energy you normally carried with you. The girl wanted to cry and plead for forgiveness, but she knew that would only make you feel worse.
Maybe Tara, overall, would only make you feel worse.
"I'm sorry, okay? I know I said horrible things, and-"
"Apologies won't work now, Tara." You admitted, turning your gaze away. "It's not just about what you said; it's about how you've been acting for a long time. I shouldn't have to put up with this kind of thing."
"You're right, I know. I feel-"
"What? You feel sorry?" Tara was startled to hear your tone becoming more pained as you interrupted her. She had never heard anything like that come out of your mouth before, and she almost wished you were shouting in her face instead. "Tara, you can’t even give me an explanation for why you do this kind of thing to me? Do you find it amusing to make a fool out of me? Is it fun to hurt me and see me coming back to you like a fucking boomerang?"
"No! I just... I don't know why I do this." The shorter one confessed with a trembling voice. "I swear to you that I... You are one of the best people in my life, okay? And I know I don't do enough to deserve you, but I... I need you. I'll do anything, just... could you forgive me?"
She wasn't lying when she said she didn't know the reason for continuing to hurt you this way. She didn't know why it had been so easy to listen when Amber suggested that you might be Ghostface. God, she didn't even know why she kept bringing up Amber, even though she preferred to forget about everything Amber caused.
Perhaps Tara just felt the need to make you feel the same pain she felt inside, so that you would be intertwined even unconsciously.
"I don't know if I can, not now. I have to put myself first at least once in my life, Tara. I'm really sorry." Your eyes were still avoiding Carpenter's, avoiding her gaze like a plague. "But if what you say is true, and you don't know why you do this... Tara, you need help. Professional help. I can't be your therapist, let alone your punching bag."
The girl nodded slightly and bit her lower lip to keep from crying in front of you. With a remaining bit of willpower and a little courage, she lightly touched your hand, silently pleading for your attention. "If I do this... seek help, i mean. Will you forgive me? Please, I don't want to lose you because I'm an idiot."
You looked back at her, and Tara could almost see conflicting feelings swimming in your irises. Finally, something seemed to snap you out of a trance, and you gently squeezed Carpenter's hand, a small gesture of support. "I don't know, Tara. I hope so, but that's not up to me, you know."
When you took a step back, and your hands parted, Tara almost let out a sob from her throat, instantly missing the touch. You hesitated, as if you wanted to say something, but chose to shake your head and quickly wipe away a lone tear rolling down your cheek. "I hope you get better, Tara."
The girl watched helplessly as you walked away, clutching your own bag as if it would keep you grounded in reality. She hated herself for making you feel this way, hated herself for being a problem for everyone she loved.
Maybe there was never a curse on Tara. Maybe she was simply the curse in other people's lives.
She glanced at the door to her left and sighed resignedly. As immense as her pride was, and as much as she had avoided this moment until now, she had promised you that she would change, and she couldn't break another promise. She swallowed hard and let her legs guide her to the frosted glass door.
Tara read and reread the words on the door. Counseling Center. And with one final sigh, she entered.
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syrma-sensei · 3 months
Note
hey! do you take soldier boy requests? if you do, then i have a little prompt! i can totally see this dynamic with ben x reader. ignore this if you like, i'm just curious because i love your writing !!
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Heya 👋🏻
Of course I do! I love writing my man 🤭❤️
Hehehe, I can totally see it too. I almost wrote it in Home, but you know, couldn't let that happen cuz reader was pregnant and all...
Thank you so much, lovey 💕 You're in for a treat!
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→ Smokey Snuggles, Zero Struggles.
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gif credit.
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Fem!reader.
Rating: Fluff.
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: Pillow talk, smoking, implied smut, soft Ben, flufffff, antiquated mentality...
Setting: Prequel to Home one-shot; can be read as a standalone tho.
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Ben swept his large arm over your body to pull you closer to his chest, his rough yet gentle hand resting on your thigh. Your body curled up to his as your chest heaved with soft pants, up and down, while his seed seeped out of your opening.
“Mmm, did I tucker you out, dollface?” He teased with that deep voice of his; you could hear the smirk in his tone.
“Not at all...” You shifted your head up, chin resting on his chest and eyes gazing up at him with playful intransigence.
He glanced down at you, relishing in the way your pretty fingers ran on his chest. “Good, ‘cause I was just getting started.”
Your lips let out a sheepish giggle concurring with a cute red smear across your cheeks.
It was still all new to you; the sex, the extravagant self-indulgence, the supe business, Vought, and him.
You'd met Ben in one of his educational tours throughout the country. He'd been on an awareness campaign spree, visiting local schools to sow the American values into the hearts of the young. Needless to say, the children were thrilled having the first superhero in their classrooms, sitting and reading for them — making them laugh even. The bastard had an alluring charm; everyone had been in love with him, and you were none the better. His damn swagger had a certain lure, it didn't take long to coax you out of the skirts of modesty into the lusciousness of his arms.
You were a new elementary teacher, a young woman brought up in a conservative household; it was inevitable to have a blatant shock when you entered Ben's life as his new partner, and intended to be wife-to-be — he didn't propose or promise you anything yet, mind you. Yet, him having family dinners with your parents, you moving in with him, him having you at his arm wherever he went; movie premieres, filmmaking, photoshoots, interviews, and more, he literally had you stuck to his hip. That had to mean something, right?
You tried to shrug off the thoughts that plagued your mind of the possibility of Ben dumping you. You shiver at the thought. The truth was, you were head over heels with him, and you honestly didn't know where you'd put yourself if he left you.
You felt him flex the arm he had on your thigh up behind his head, then you heard the flick of his lighter and soon the smell of burnt tobacco followed.
You glanced up at him. Ben's green eyes were staring ahead, the look on his face told you he was deep in ponderation. He absently inhaled from his cuban cigar.
The tip of your forefinger rubs circles on the centre of his chest, stroking the fuzzy wisps on his skin.
You knew he was giving you a break after he had been balls-deep inside of you for a couple of rounds. Ben was nearly insatiable when it came to you, but he always tried to keep himself in check that your human stamina could never match his, regardless of how many times you told him not to hold back.
“No,” He had said, caressing your cheek with the back of his knuckles, “I could break you.”
You smiled with a blush at the memory, snuggling closer to him and letting your ear savour the strong beat of his heart. You really wanted the only one who'd own that heart, you really did.
When you glanced up at him again, he wasn't miles away like he was minutes ago. He was smiling down at you, before he leant in and pressed a light kiss on the crown of your head.
Your cheeks flourished red at the unbridled affection; he seldom showed such, and it never ceased to take you by surprise when he did so. Those moments of sweet dalliances assured you sometimes that you weren't just a fleeting fling.
You wanted to nuzzle closer to him but he shifted a bit to sit up, leaning his back to the headboard. You sit up as well, letting the sheets fall off your naked bosom. You weren't that shy girl anymore.
“Want a drag?” He offered you his cigar.
You smiled, “I-I could try…” You took the cigar as he turned to his bedside table and opened the drawer.
You shrugged and placed the stub between your lips and took a long drag. Wrong move. Because the moment the smouldering smoke hit the back of your throat, your eyes burnt up with tears and you started to cough.
Ben turned to you again, a rich laugh rumbling in his chest, he took the cigar from your hand and placed it in the ashtray, and patted your back gently. “Easy…”
“Holy—!” You croaked, hastily reaching for the glass of water on your bedside table, drinking it. “How do you smoke that shit?” You coughed again.
His laugh diluted into a deep chuckle, “It’s not so bad, you're the lightweight.”
“Oh, believe me, I couldn't handle you if I were one.” You let out a smooth giggle that soon turned into a chortle.
Ben chuckled again, before he wiped the drizzle of water away from the corner of your lips, and the tears away from your eyes.
You grinned at him, kissing his thumb.
“Marry me.” He said, making your eyes go wide. You blinked for a moment.
He read the confusion on your face and acted swiftly by holding a small box of velvet out for you, gently opening it. There was an elegant ring in the box, golden and meticulously-polished, encrusted with a glamorous diamond in its centre.
You opened your mouth then you closed it again; too stunned to find the right words to say.
“I-I don't know what to say.” You finally spoke, voice hushed both by the surprise and the whiff of the cigar from before.
“Say yes.” He grinned, plucking the ring from the box, twirling it deftly between his thumb and forefinger.
Your eyes teared up and you surprised him with a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck.
He seemed to be taken aback by your reaction, but soon enough, he hugged you back, kissing your temple gently.
You found heavenly comfort in his open affections for you, relishing in the silent but blatant fact that they were only yours.
You nuzzled closer to his chest, burying your face in his neck, softly smooching his skin.
“Is that a yes?” He asked, but you could hear the smirk in his voice. Of course, he was teasing you. Typical Ben.
You pulled away, gushing, “Yes!” You sniffled cutely, “God, yes.”
Ben slipped his late mother's wedding ring into your hand before he leant in and kissed your knuckles.
“I love you…” He whispered in your ear, melting your heart with the sincerity of his words.
“I love you too.” You whispered back, “More than anything.”
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Taglist: @thebiggerbear, @zepskies, @deanbrainrotwritings, @deansbbyx, @deans-spinster-witch
@venus-haze , @kaleldobrev, @k-slla, @ketchupjasmin, @demodemo909
@mystic-mara, @jqtaro, @pepsicolacoochie...
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723 notes · View notes
droaxa · 2 months
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this game
✧tags: yandere cheater x reader pt. 3
✧warnings: kidnapping, bondage, MNDI, reader is touched inappropriately
✧a/n: hey guys this is gonna be the final part of my yandere cheater, i really appreciate all the love i've got so far and i'm excited to show you all what I thought up for the final bit! don't hate me too much for the end haha
part 1 - part 2 - part 3
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The first sensation that hits you as you wake is a burning feeling in your throat. you shoot up immediately and go into a coughing fit, what happened? The second sensation is the blinding bright lighting, a harsh white compared to the soft yellow in your dorm. Your eyelids feel stuck as you try to open your eyes, almost as if they were glued together.
You force your eyes open and your surroundings alarm you, even in your drowsy state. This room clearly wasn't yours. In fact, it wasn't Raph's either. You knew his room, messy and boyish but not sterile and clean like this. You observe your surroundings, a mostly empty room with minimal items but all necessary furniture.
Then you locate the cause of the ache in your wrists; two tightly tied ropes connecting you to the bed frame. You try to pull away, hoping the knots will come loose but to no avail. Your legs are free unlike your arms, but bare. You're dressed in a large t-shirt, something you knew Raph owned and just your panties. You dreaded being exposed to Raph in such an intimate way, especially considering that he most likely changed you, but the thin layers were better than nothing.
As if hearing your silent plea that he shouldn't come through the door, Raph enters with the click of the lock unlatching. His smug, almost satisfied look makes you uneasy. What did he have planned for you?
"Finally up sweets? I was gettin' bored without ya" he drawls out, stalking closer to the bed with every step.
You inhale sharply and attempt to pull yourself into a sitting position by your wrists, not wanting to be lying down as that man approached you. But almost as if reading your mind, he crawls into the bed. Grabbing your ankle and pulling you down into a resting position with him over you.
"Uh uh" he tuts, "No runnin' away, but I mean-" he cracks a menacing grin. "It's not like there's anywhere to run to huh?"
Your eyebrows furrow as you plead with him, "Raph please, just let me go and I won't tell anyone what you did. If you have any love or at least respect for me, please let me go"
He cocks his head to the side as if thinking about your demand, then all of a sudden-
BAM!
He's on top of you, hands on either side of your head and legs keeping your legs down. "I'm doing this because I love you, can't you see? I know imma asshole for cheating but c'mon. Don't say you didn't miss me"
You scoff and hiss out your words, "Miss you? You're just a cheating lowlife and psycho who couldn't take what he dished out"
"Psycho?" He grabs your face, squishing your cheeks in the process. "Well yer life is in the hands of this psycho darling, so I'd watch what you say" He leans in even closer, his hair now tickling your forehead. "All I did was prove my love for you, getting rid of that bitch, taking care of my brother. They were all getting in between us"
You try to stay calm but tears start to form in your eyes, he was the one who tore you two apart. Not your friends or his brother. "It was you that got between us. Just because you tried to right your wrongs, in the worst way possible, doesn't mean I need to forgive you"
Like he was waiting for you to say that, he grins again "Forgive me? Oh, you'll be forgiving me soon"
He lifts up your body just enough to allow his larger one to fit under you, you were lying on him. Just like when you were together. His face rests on your shoulder as one of his hands grabs a remote off the bed stand next to the bed, arms encircling your waist with the remote in the front.
He then turns on the TV opposite of the bed, the news network flashes on screen.
A woman dressed in formal wear and a bun appeared at a mahogany desk, her face holding a solemn expression. "A horrible tragedy has struck the local university today" A picture of a university, no. Your university flashes on the screen. "A university student had been found in the dorms on campus, horribly injured" A picture of Ray flashes on screen. No.
"Thankfully, an anonymous tip earlier that day proved to save this young man's life as paramedics arrived on the scene just in time" She continues, "Sadly, he has fallen into a coma due to health complications. So please, we ask you to send your love and strength to this young man's family."
Her face looks sterner now, "The main suspect at the moment is a young woman who owned the dorm the student was found in" No, it can't be- "(y/n) is seemingly on the run at the moment, please notify your local police station if you see her in your city" A picture of you pops up. No, no no.
With that Raph clicks the TV off, grinning. "Oh wow, you really did all that (y/n)?"
You don't say anything, face frozen as you stare at the dark TV.
Raph catches onto your shock and coos in your ear, rough hands caressing your waist "Oh darling you're free to stay here, I mean it's not like you have anywhere else to go"
You turn your head toward him to the best of your abilities and blurted out, "What did you do"
His eyebrows raise as his grin widens, "I didn't do anything, not my fault you decided to move to such a low-security dorm. I mean, no cameras or security guards? Besides, who would believe you?"
You spit out your words with venom, "My parents will, my friends will, Ray will. You won't escape this"
"Oh really, the same parents who are countries away? The same friends who fucked your boyfriend? Don't get me started on Ray, but it's not like that vegetable can say anything"
Your hope starts to diminish, he was somewhat right. Your so-called 'friends' would never vouch for you. It would be a miracle if your parents would come in time to help your case; even if they did, the odds were stacked against you.
And Ray, poor Ray. He didn't deserve this, he deserved the life he always dreamed about. The little farmhouse in the countryside, a beautiful wife, and a few kids. Even if it wasn't with you, he deserved it and so much more.
You couldn't ignore the feeling of Raphs body beneath yours, his hands gripping you. Was this the way it would end? Hopelessly alone, doomed to be unhappy? The one you loved was battling death, barely alive and here you were: unable to to anything but cry.
Were you crying? You snap out of your daze to a strange wetness on your cheeks, salty moistness. Did you deserve to cry? What could you have done differently to stop this? Would things be different if you had never initiated something with Ray, if you had stayed with Raph, if you had never come to this university?
But the hot breath hitting your neck told you everything you needed to know, this was your now, your forever. Trapped in the arms of your merciless captor, one who wouldn't spare even his own family.
Forever bound to misery, the only witness of your downward spiral would be the cold walls of this house. Funny, how it only took a few hours to strip you of everything you were. All that was left now was a husk, a memory of what was before.
Perhaps, he really had won.
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a/n: so ik you guys wanted to keep ray alive and technically i did, but i may or may not have twisted it a bit haha. i consider this ending the true ending but i'll take suggestions to write shorter stories on the alternate paths the reader could have gone down to change their fate!
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shomixremix · 8 months
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HERDING THE CATTLE ♥︎
i saw something about this prompt on here like two years ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since ♡︎
tags: Arataki Itto, afab! reader, cow hybrid! reader, smut, fluff, marking, mating, rough sex, petnames, cowgirl, breeding, creampie
-> you are a small cow hybrid auctioned off to a slaughterhouse since you couldn't produce enough milk and were never calm. the arataki gang saved you, and your new master - the one and oni Arataki Itto - knows just how to keep you in check.
reqs open ♡︎ | minors DNI
"Ahh!! Itto! Itto-ooh! Mh! I-Itto!"
You whined as the Oni bounced you on his cock like you were weightless, watching in amusement as you cried in overstimulation. What was this, your ninth, tenth time cumming? You lost count. Itto never let you rest, not even for a second, bouncing you on his lap through every orgasm.
"Aww, you'r' so cute, love bug... Such a cute little cow, ain't ya'? Don't cry now, sweets, this is what ya' wanted, yeah? Only way I can tire you out, baby~"
Your master cooed, teasing you about being so restless. Oh, how you wished you could take everything back! No, you weren't bursting with energy like you said earlier, no, you couldn't go on forever - your legs were practically jelly at this point, your limp body completely at mercy to Itto.
He used you like a cocksleeve, dragged on his dick whenever he wanted and for however long he wanted - and you loved it. Life was good in the Arataki gang: you always had food, a place to sleep and protection provided to you, at all times. You also had a very tall, very strong and very handsome demon filling you up and breeding you almost daily, making sure your cushy womb was never empty.
The space where you connected was a mess. A glorious mess of both your and his juices seeping out of your hole, being fucked back in each time Itto would trust back. Just as every other day, your gummy walls pulsed around his length, making him shoot yet another load inside you.
"Fuck, baby... Makin' me lose my mind and shit..... So good.... Give me a little taste of that milk, will ya'?"
His large palms left your hips, greedily grabbing at the fat flesh of your boobs. As soon as he squeezed down just a tiny bit, a small stream of milk burst out, hitting Itto in the face. You were instantly mortified. Itto was your master, he saved you from certain death, and now you embarass him like this-
"I'm s-sorry Itto-! So sorry! Didn't mean to, I r-really didn't mean to!"
Instead of scolding you like you were sure any other owner would, the Oni burst out laughing. His laugh was like a roar, shaking his entire body - and with him, you as well.
"Hah, those jerks at the farm jus' didn't know how to milk ya', sweets, 'cause you look full of milk to me!"
It was true - even though you were sold to a slaughterhouse for failing to produce milk, you started leaking like crazy the moment Itto took you as his. That vet back at the farm you grow up on always said that you'd start producing milk if they paired you with a bull, and what better bull than a large, demon one?
Their loss, anyway. Now, all your milk belonged to Itto and his warm mouth, and not to some sketchy farmers who were only interested in selling it.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of his sharp fangs on your nips, greedily sucking at the flesh and gulping down the sweet drink. His dick twitched inside you as he continued feasting, your own arms tightening around his head to pull him closer.
The second he detached himself from your chest he thrust out harshly, in the process accidentally completely pushing you from his lap. Even though Itto was mighty and strong, he wasn't exactly the sharpest. There was a slight possibility that he was so occupied with whatever he was doing that he forgot you were on him.
You watched as he stood up, leaving you sitting on your knees on the ground. The Oni spit a bit of your milk on his palm, then using that same hand to roughly jerk his cock. It was more than obvious that milk was one of his kinks.
Oh, but why would he jerk off with milk as lube when you were right there...? On your knees, right next to him, ready and waiting and... Oh, Archons, were you not enough for him anymore..?
When Itto first saved you, the deal was that you'd stay in the Arataki gang until they found you a new home. However, Itto insisted they keep you, even proclaimed you as his own "pretty girl that no one can touch!" He kept you all to himself, fell asleep with you in his arms at night, brought you any awesome flowers he found, even took you on good, honest dates when he'd get a little Mora! He even acted on his demon urges and sunk his fangs into your neck, mating you!
But what if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with a little, useless cow? What if that wasn't even enough for his sexual urges any more..?
"I-Itto..." You cry, big tears pooling up in the corners of even bigger eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.
At the mention of his name the Oni turns to you, shocked to see you crying.
"Hey, hey, hey! Baby, what's wrong?!"
"Need you.... P-please..."
Not another word needed to be said. Itto immediately reacted, grabbing your soft, much smaller body and seating it once again on his lap, entering you in one swift trust until his tip was snuggly kissing your cervix.
"Shhh, sweets... Let your Oni take care of ya', hm? No need to cry! I thought you couldn't go on, love bug, that's why I stopped! But you really are a restless one, huh, calfie?"
You smiled warmely at the nickname as your head went fuzzy. You laid your pretty head on Arataki's chest - like always - and let him have complete control of how he fucks you.
Each one of his thrust was faster and more brutal than the last. Your pussy was already crying out, threatening to cum just from the first few thrusts. Itto noticed, pinching your puffy clit between his claws and rolling it around.
"OH, ITTO!" You scream in ecstasy, riding your high.
Your master wasn't going to be able to last much longer. With you bouncing on his cock the way you were and how your sweet little cunt was so tight that it was milking him dry, Itto lasted only a couple more thrusts.
"Hah... Haaah... Fuck, love bug... Really wanna milk me too, don't ya'? Ahh... Mmm.. Gonna breed you.. Hah... Gonna breed ya' so good, sweets.. You'll be all nice and full, and you'll get pregnant with my calfs, yeah? Put all that milk to good use, hm? Yeah, yeah!"
He started cumming as well, shooting rope after rope after rope of his sweet release inside you. You were filled to the rim, juices leaking out of your satisfied hole. Arataki didn't let any of it go to waste, his fingertips catching whatever's left and pushing it in.
As soon as you were filled, your hands reached for him, seeking comfort in his warm arms. Itto obliged instantly, carrying you like you were weightless, to the nearby camp they set up. Your master entered his tent, the biggest of the bunch, wrapping your body in a soft blanket and once again settling you in his arms.
"There ya' go, love bug. Comfy?" You nodded, which made Itto break out in a toothy grin. "Well, of course it is! The great numero uno Itto is at your service, baby, of course everything is awesome!"
You chuckled at the way he tooted his own horn, kissing his cheek and hiding your face in his large neck and shoulder.
"G'night, Itto.. Thank you..."
The Oni found your actions adorable, cooing at you: "Awww, sweets, no need to thank me! You know I always gocha. Thank you for being so good f' me, yeah? You're such a good, pretty little cow... I don't know how I got so lucky!"
He pressed a loving kiss on your forehead, caressing your legs with his large palm.
"G'night, baby.."
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bratzforchris · 7 months
Note
hi! I’d love to see johnnie fluff w/ reader just cuddling him and admiring his tattoos?? please and thank you 🙏 🖤
Coloring Book
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*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚
Summary: In which you treat Johnnie and his tattoos like your own personal coloring book<3
Pairing: Johnnie x gender neutral reader (i don't think there's any fem terms in here, but please let me know if i'm mistaken!)
Warnings: None!
Word Count: 684
A/N: WHEN will i have my own personal johnnie guilbert??
*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚
“It’s so wet out,” You groaned, peeking through the blinds of your and Johnnie’s living room. “I’m bored.” You huffed, flopping on the couch beside your boyfriend dramatically.
“You’re like a puppy.” Johnnie mumbled, not taking his eyes off his phone. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, playfully raising your eyebrow. 
“You can’t stay still.”
“I wanna do something.” You pouted. 
You couldn’t stand not having anything to do. Whereas Johnnie was perfectly content to hang out inside all day and engage in his hobbies, you preferred to be out and about, seeking out new experiences. In a rare turn of events, Johnnie had no filming and no editing to get done this weekend, and you didn’t have to work. Unfortunately though, Los Angeles had decided to torment you with a downpour of rain and chilly wind. 
“C’mere,” Johnnie put his phone down and opened his arms for you to cuddle. “I love you.” he hummed once you were in his arms, kissing your head. 
You snuggled into his chest, whispering back soft words of love. You figured that you might as well try to nap while Johnnie was holding you; maybe it would help pass the time. As you closed your eyes and tried to rest, images of things to do while stuck in the house floated through your mind until you suddenly shot up. 
“Be right back.” You giggled, hopping off his lap and padding towards your office. 
Johnnie shook his head with a soft laugh, wondering what in the world you were up to. You quickly returned, brandishing a large pack of Crayola markers. Your boyfriend looked at you curiously, seeing as how you weren’t holding any paper. 
“Can I color in your tattoos?” You asked, straddling Johnnie’s lap and looking up at him with big puppy eyes. 
“So that’s what you wanted to do?” Johnnie chuckled, squeezing your hips with a smile. “Sure baby, why not.” he told you, planting a soft kiss on your lips. 
You let out an excited squeal as Johnnie pulled his shirt off. Your boyfriend was literally one big coloring book and your mind raced with possibilities of what you could do. You poked your tongue out in concentration as you selected a pink marker, beginning to decorate his ‘I’m not perfect’ tattoo with flowers and vines designs. Johnnie smiled as the marker glided across his skin, but that wasn’t what he was focusing on. Instead, he was admiring your beautiful face that was etched with concentration as you focused on making your lines neat. 
You two stayed like that for quite a while. The rain pattering on the roof and the feeling of you coloring on his skin and leaving soft kisses on him was lulling Johnnie to sleep. Every now and then, you would whisper out how much you admired a certain tattoo. Being a big fan of both The Cure and of nature, your favorites were his Robert Smith tattoo and his tree tattoos. You adored all of Johnnie’s tattoos, though. They made him unique, telling you the story of his life without words. Not only that, but they also offered you quite a bit of entertainment on days like today. 
“All done!” You exclaimed about an hour later. 
Johnnie was pulled out of his sleepy trance, a smile on his face. “Am I allowed to look?”
You nodded, dragging him to the bathroom and flicking on the light. Your boyfriend stood in front of the mirror, admiring the beautiful colors you had added to his tattoos. Johnnie wasn’t a big fan of tattoos with color, but you had made them beautiful. 
“I love it, baby.” he giggled, pecking your lips. 
I love you,” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Thank you for being a wonderful coloring book.”
Johnnie smiled, picking you up and kissing you again. He loved you with all his heart, and that was definitely shown by the way he paraded around the house shirtless for the rest of the day, showing off the color you had added both to his skin and to his life.
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dovveri · 5 months
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doctor's advice
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synopsis: y/n decides to go to the leading plastic surgery clinic in korea bcs she's sick of feeling the way she does about how she looks. she catches the attention of dr. im nayeon, the head of this practice who thinks y/n is way too pretty to warrant any of those feelings she has about herself.
warnings: this is lowkey just smut oops, fingering, oral, body image issues - so a lil angsty in the beginning
w/c: 4.2k
a/n: this one is kinda all over the place and i lwk hate it but i needed to finish it so i could get over this writing block like i did kindaaa have a vision for it but i gave up halfway and just turned to sex which is why it doesn't flow well LMAO but hey! doctor nayeon is hot so!
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
"can i get your full name please?"
"y/n l/n."
the receptionist smiles at you, typing something into her computer and handing you a form, "alright y/n, just fill in this form and someone will be with you in a bit."
you nod, accepting the form and taking a seat in the waiting room of the plastic surgery clinic you were currently at.
you scan over the details of the form. most of it was just demographic information, asking you your age, gender, a little about your daily activities, whether or not you actively exercised, all the simple questions.
you were feeling a little desperate when you finally decided to make a first consultation at the most well-renowned plastic surgery clinic in seoul. you had been thinking about doing it for a while now, but lately the feeling of disgust at being in your own body was overwhelming.
your parents didn’t understand why you’d want to do anything to the body they brought into this world. your friends thought plastic surgery was an excessive response and that it could potentially be dangerous. but none of them understood what it felt like to wake up everyday and be reminded that you were stuck in this body, the fear that no-one will ever be able to love you and that you’d consequently end up alone for the rest of your pitiful life.
your grip on the pen grows a little tighter as you remind yourself why you’re here.
you feel a set of eyes on you as you’re getting to the end of the form, so you look up, locking eyes with a gorgeous woman in a clean white lab coat, curious eyes behind a set of thick spectacles that frame her face perfectly. with all your experience analysing how you look you can't help but think she would be the perfect reference for your surgical procedures.
but you're also hit with thoughts of why is she looking at me? is she judging me? i bet she's judging me. fuck what is she looking at? is it my legs? my arms? my nose? is she thinking i'm an unsolveable case? fuck i shouldn't have come here. i should go now-
"hi, y/n?"
you're snapped out of your thoughts when you realise the pretty woman is now standing in front of you.
"y-yes." you curse at the stutter but she pays it no mind, offering a smile.
"the receptionist gave me your name. i'm dr im but you can call my nayeon. do you want to come with me?"
your eyes widen when she introduces herself. dr im. the most well-renowned plastic surgeon in the industry. you heard rumours that she had waitlists up to 20 years long and that you couldn't get an appointment with her except through referral. she was the one who brought this clinic its reputation of the leading plastic surgery clinic in the country.
"i-i'm sorry there must be some mistake? i didn't think the dr. im would be my advising clinician today."
she smiles again, "well no i wasn't meant to be but i came to grab some files from the front desk and i saw you and asked jiyeon," she gestures to the receptionist who handed you your form, "and found out you were here for an advisory session and forgive me if i'm being forward but i just thought you were beautiful and wondered what you possibly could've wanted to get done."
you feel your cheeks rapidly heat up as you gape up at her in shock.
"i can call back the previous doctor who was assigned to you if you want! i didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable i'm sorry if i-"
you interrupt her quickly, "no no! sorry that was just a surprise to me i definitely wasn't expecting that from you but um- yeah sure we can go now i'm fine with you being my doctor."
she grins then, and you're entranced by her slightly larger front teeth that make an appearance, "great! follow me."
you stand up a little frantically, gathering all your things and quickly following dr im.
it's more of an office than a doctor's room, you note the expensive leather and framed awards and certifications hanging on her wall, the neatly organised desk and pretty flowers that decorate and give the room some colour.
you sit cautiously in one of the chairs in front of her desk as she moves to sit in hers
"water?" she offers you.
you shake your head no, glancing down at your hands and fiddling with them just to be able to do something.
she looks over your form very briefly before looking back to you with a kind smile. "so what were you hoping to get out of coming here today y/n?"
you can't look up at her, "u-um just... y'know. like... everything..."
she cocks her head, "everything?"
"yeah like... face, body, all of it."
nayeon frowns, "that would be quite an expensive procedure."
"oh money's not really a problem. i've saved up a lot for this." you try to joke a little, if only to ease your own nerves, "worked my ass off all throughout high school and college so i could do this one day."
"you don't want to spend that money on anything else?"
you're confused and finally look up at her, "well i mean sure there are plenty of things i could spend it on but this is something i've thought about for a long time now and i'm finally ready to do it."
she's quiet for a little, seeming to be deep in thought, before she speaks up, "y/n... has someone made you feel like this?"
you frown, your sweaty hands gripping your pants tighter, "i'm sorry what does this have to do with my appointment?"
"i want to make sure you're doing this for the right reason. wanting to alter your entire body is a big decision and it can have lasting impacts. i don't want you to regret it afterwards."
you're getting more and more frustrated. this was a famous plastic surgeon who dealt with thousands of surgeries and has probably met cases like yours but she still doesn't seem to understand you. just like your parents and your friends, no-one understood.
"why does it matter to you? i want to get lots of things done that’ll make you lots of money and that really should be your only concern."
she narrows her eyes at you, “y/n, i couldn’t care less about the money. look around.” she gestures to her office, all the expensive trinkets and decorations she has lying around, “i have enough money to support a family for 100 lifetimes. what i do care about are my clients-”
you burst, “what do you know?! you’ve probably spent your whole life being adored for everything you do. people probably fall over themselves just to get a chance to talk to you! you’ll never understand how it feels to be unloved, to hate yourself when you wake up every morning and look in the mirror, to think everyone’s always talking about you, looking at you, judging you, you’re so beautiful you couldn’t ever know!”
she’s surprised at your sudden increase in volume. you had kept all of this in for so long, you felt like if you ever told anyone else they’d just think you were complaining but it was so much more debilitating than that. you couldn’t talk to your parents or your friends out of fear they’d think you were too needy or attention-seeking or whatever. nayeon was the first stranger who had shown they cared for you and you took that as a sign to release all your years of pent up frustration at her.
“i- i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to explode like that i-“
“it’s okay y/n. i’m sorry you’ve had to feel like this for so long on your own. but i just want to say, i’m not one of those people. i know it’s hard to believe when you look at me and what i’ve accomplished, but i find it hard to believe no-one loves you. and sure i judged you when i first saw you but not negatively. i told you i thought you were what i thought to be the perfect model for other people’s procedures and i was curious what you wanted to change about that.”
she’s collected herself and responds to you calmly, only with the curiosity of a scientist in her eye.
you’re unsure how to respond to her, feeling more than a little awkward now after your accidental outburst.
you attempt to clear your throat to start, “right… um so-“
“why don’t you take off your clothes and show me what you’d like to have done?”
you blush a bright red at her response, nodding slightly as you both stand and you begin to strip. you leave your underwear on as she stands in front of you, running her eyes over your body.
“um… so i guess if we’re starting from the bottom… i wanted to slim my calves down and shape them a little better… obviously um my ass i’d like to be a little rounder-“ you gesture to your various body parts as you talk, and she’s nodding, eyes focused, hands reached out as you feel goosebumps litter your skin when she gently probes the areas you're talking about.
"would you mind taking off your underwear? i just need to get an estimate of what you're talking about."
you blush again as you nod shyly, peeling the offending piece of item off you and turning as she prods and pokes again.
"um... yeah so i was also thinking a tummy tuck? just to tighten all the skin here-"
the feeling of her fingers on your body is slowly driving you insane. you're shivering a little as she runs her hand along your lower stomach, humming a little.
"um also like y'know, a boob job-"
she gestures for you to take off your bra and you do so, now standing completely naked in front of the doctor.
her hands come up and cup them, your nipples are hardening in the cool air of her office, "what size were you thinking?"
"i-i- u-um-" she squeezes a little and you take a deep inhale, trying to calm yourself, your eyes glued to the ceiling as she fondles you, "m-maybe one up?"
she hums and you feel a thumb brush across a nipple whether intentionally or unintentionally and you're suddenly clenching your thighs together praying she doesn't notice.
"so also um arm lifts, a face lift, kinda wanna hollow out my cheeks a little more and maybe highlight my cheekbones? lip fillers and a new nose, all of my scars obviously, and probably a brow lift too..."
her hands are on your face now, cupping your cheeks and she's close enough you can see the small specks of gold in her eyes and the little mole under her left eyebrow. your breath hitches as her eyes meet yours, they're so full of wonder and curiosity and you're reminded of the fact that you're very naked right now and standing in front of an extremely pretty woman.
she hums again, eyes dropping to your nose, than your lips, and you unconsciously wet your lips in tension, watching as her eyes trace the action.
then all of a sudden she's gone, moving back towards her chair and turning on her monitor. you quickly scramble for your clothes, hurriedly putting everything back on as you join her, blushing at the slightly sticky feeling between your legs.
"okay so we can do everything you just said. i'm going to need a few references-"
"you can use yourself for most of them."
she raises an eyebrow at you, a slight lift in the corner of her mouth.
"i appreciate the compliment y/n but if you're going to play that game then i'd like to say i wouldn't want to be sitting here discussing what to change about you in the first place."
"what would you be doing then?"
there's a glint in her eyes and you swallow, "helping you realise how there's nothing to change. eventually i'd get you to help me take a few pictures maybe, as reference for future customers who come in."
"and how would you do that?"
"how would i make you feel beautiful?" she's standing up and rounding her desk, taking her glasses off and placing them on her table, and you're looking up at her feeling strangely defiant.
"well yeah it'd be pretty hard knowing how much i hate myself-"
her arms now bracket the sides of your chair and she's leaning down with a clear smirk on her face.
"i'd touch along here," she's trailing one of her hands up your arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake, "here," she reaches your neck, then up to your face, leaning in to speak into your ear now, "everywhere just so you know exactly what i'm talking about. and i'd make you feel so good like you've never felt before, and i'd keep doing that until you realise just how crazy you drive me."
your eyes are lidded when you speak up again, voice hoarse and deep, "try it."
she's all in your space now, climbing into into your lap, lips closing around your ear lobe as she sucks. your eyes close and you groan a little when her hips meet yours, tilting your head back distantly wondering how the fuck you got yourself in this situation but quickly shaking that thought off when you feel her move towards your neck, licking and sucking.
soon enough she's moving up your jaw and towards your lips, one hand on your shoulder, the other one at your waist. she stops just short of your lips with a little smirk on her face as you share the same air.
your eyes meet her in a blaze and you surprise her when you yank her down, she moans when that brings your hips together even closer and you capture her lips with impatient want. her hands are tangling into your hair now, pulling lightly as your lips slide against each other, your breath hitching when she licks a tongue along your top lip.
“these- fucking- lips-“ she’s breaking away between kisses for air, panting softly.
“i can’t believe- you’d want to do anything- when i could kiss these- all fucking day-“
she’s breaking away again, leaving you chasing as she places pecks all across your face, “new nose? please this slant is perfect. these cheeks are adorable and these eyebrows shape your pretty pretty face just right-“ she’s kissing every inch of your skin, moving back down to your neck and nipping at your collarbone.
her hands are at the bottom of your shirt, sneaking up to caress the lines of your stomach and you let out a sharp inhale when one hand comes unashamedly up to cup your breast.
“how could you be making those pretty sounds if this wasn’t your body i was touching hmm?” she’s lifting your shirt over your head, sliding her hands everywhere.
"breast implants?" she scoffs as she brings her hands behind your back to unclasp your bra, flinging it behind her and moving her hands straight to cup your tits. "please darling look how perfectly these fit in my hands. and the way they spill out between my fingers if i squeeze like this-" you moan unabashedly now when she gropes and grasps.
"god i could just hold these all day-" she's dipping down, a tongue tracing the top of your breast, the hot feeling against your skin driving you absolutely mad as you roll your hips against her with a whimper.
she pushes you back down roughly with her hips, looking up at you, her hands never stopping her fondling at your breasts, she is obscene. "don't do that now sweetie. i'm meant to be taking care of you and showing you just how pretty you are to me. so you're gonna sit there and look pretty while i do exactly that mmk?"
she's taking a nipple into her mouth now, licking and sucking, and you hiss when she bites down softly, feeling her mouth turn upward at the sound.
she lavishes your breasts, leaving you quivering and flushed in her wake, she makes small comments in between periods of sucking marks into the side of your tits, her tongue has never once left your body since she started, wet trails leading everywhere.
she's kissing down your stomach now and you suck in a breath as she sinks to her knees in front of you, looking up at you with those curious eyes, completely clothed still in her white labcoat, mouth wrecked and lips in a pretty little pout. she's spreading your legs and you're fighting a little against her, embarassed at the fact that her face would be so close to you and she could see every little detail of your arousal.
she tuts but shuffles back a little, letting you close your legs again but she picks one up and starts feeling along your calf, pressing gently at the muscles there and feeling you unclench in relief.
"these don't need anything done either. you're just a little tense here. some stretching and a good massage will work those kinks right out and you won't even notice them anymore."
she's pressing down on all the pressure points to release the tension in your calves, and you moan slightly in pleasure as your head lolls back, eyes squeezing shut, cool air hitting your wet breasts, nipples perking at the lack of attention and you shudder.
you're helpless when she starts spreading your legs again, miraculous hands moving up to your knees, still kneading and massaging, then up to your thighs.
then her mouth is on you again, hot and wet against the inside of your thighs and you're squirming, breathing picking up as the tension in the room multiplies tenfold. you don't dare look down at her afraid the sight may just push you over the edge.
but hands come shooting down to her head when that tongue, that fucking tongue, licks a gentle strip from the bottom of your cunt to the top, stalling at the hood of your clitoris and pushing it back only to place a small peck on the nub and moving back down to drink in the essence flowing out of you.
"f-fuck dr im i-i-"
she stops, looking up at you with a quirk of an eyebrow, a lustful darkness seeping into her curious eyes, "call me that again."
"doctor im?"
she's back to lapping at your pussy and you moan, closing your thighs around her head, one arm raised up and holding on to the back of the chair to keep yourself upright.
"so fucking delicious. my god i could just tie you up and eat you out for hours."
you're whining, cunt clenching at her words but she's prying your folds open with her fingers, enamoured by the way your hole only seems to leak more with every action she takes, then she's licking into you and you cry out at the feeling. her tongue lashing against your walls as she moans at the taste of your core, sending shockwaves of pleasure right up your spine.
you can't take much more but she's lifting your ass and gripping, tugging you closer to her so she can explore even more of you.
eventually her mouth comes up for air and she's grabbing and kneading your ass cheeks, "these?-" her voice is a lot more gravelly now, thick with lust and she's panting slightly, "you don't know how perfect these are. they're the exact amount of firmness but still soft enough that i could use your ass like a pillow and you're talking about shape?" she sends a light slap up into you and you gasp, only clenching even harder around nothing, "just look how that rippled for me darling you need to know how fucking hot you look right now and how much you turn me on just from looking at you."
she almost sounds like she's growling with the low tenure of her voice and she's tugging you back into her, kissing your clit and sucking it into her mouth.
"d-doc- i- i- oh fuck- i'm gonna-"
she offers no response, just humming into you and you rut your hips into her at the vibration, completely helpless and positively dripping.
soon enough you're spilling over, coming with a moan, your back arching and she's licking you through it, you're completely blissed out heaving in effort before you slump back down into the chair.
but she doesn't stop. you're feeling overstimulated as she continues her assault on your pussy and you're lightly tugging her hair upwards trying to get her to come up but she's shaking her head no, and then shaking her head to tongue you side to side and you're building up all over again.
"w-wait d-doc i- i can't i just- doc-"
she looks up at you then, and holy fuck you almost came again at the sight. her slightly disheveled hair, eyes glazed over, mouth open and tongue sticking out absolutely ruined.
she's moving back up your body, kissing along places she's already left her mark on. "what did i say about sitting still and looking pretty baby? hmm?" a long finger finds its way to your folds and you're clenching in anticipation. "i said i'd make you cum as many times as it'll take for you to realise you're hot right? i'm not one to take back my words sweetie."
"f-fuck i- oh shit doc i-"
she's pushing into you torturously slow, a teasing smirk against your neck, "hm?"
"nggh fuck please- please i need- fuck- i need you- oh shit-"
"this?" another finger joins her but she stays hilted inside you, unmoving as you wriggle under her.
"ah- y-yes! p-please move- oh fuck i- please-" you're babbling at this point, almost incoherent but she's sliding out of you and then pushing in oh so wonderfully.
she's back to mouthing at your nipple, the sensitive nubs sending flares of heat down to your core, "so so pretty."
"i- yes- i- oh fuck-"
her fingers are entering you at a faster pace now, the wet sounds of your fucking filling the empty office.
all of a sudden there's a loud knock at the door and she stills inside you, looking up in slight alarm, nipple popping out of her mouth.
"doctor im your 3pm is here."
you can't help but clench around her fingers and she whips her head back down to you, wiggling her fingers a little at the feeling and you gasp.
"tell them to wait! i'll be another 10 minutes."
she's started moving inside you again and you bite your lip trying to keep quiet.
"alright." the sound of footsteps walking away is quiet before nayeon is driving into you again with renewed vigour.
she's hitting the spot inside you that's making your toes curl, her lips are back around your nipple sucking and licking, and then she's using a hand and pressing down lightly on your lower stomach stimulating your g-spot both from the inside and outside and you cry out around her as you come.
you're panting as she brings you back down, caressing your face and pushing your hair back, moving up to leave kisses all across your face again.
you're only able to open your eyes after a minute or so, blinking dazedly at her as she smiles and plants a kiss on your lips.
"listen... if you want... how about you give me a chance to make you feel loved, to show you how beautiful you are, and if you still feel that way about yourself afterwards, then i'll do all those surgeries for you personally, no more questions asked." she's soft against you, and you can't help but nuzzle your head into her neck, still a little boneless.
"okay."
"okay?" her eyes are bright as she pulls back so she can face you.
you nod with a lazy smile and she's hugging you, kissing your face again murmuring sweet you're so prettys and you did so wells.
too soon and she's lifting herself off you, helping you back into your clothes and standing by the door.
"i'm sorry that i had another appointment. i totally forgot. but i've got your number in my files so i'll message you after work today okay? maybe if you're free tonight we can grab something to eat together?"
you're shy as she's sending you off, nodding a small yes.
"okay don't ghost me now yeah?"
you blush, "y-yeah. see you dr. im."
"nayeon please. you can call me nayeon when we're not... y'know-" she sends you a wink and you only blush more, only barely stopping yourself from bowing to her in apology.
"alright n-nayeon."
"there we go. i'll see you in a bit okay y/n?"
you smile and walk out the door she's opened for you. it would still be a long way before you could be happy with yourself, but you thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to postpone your surgeries for a little and see what im nayeon likes so much about you.
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owliellder · 1 year
Text
The Finer Details
Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter f! Reader
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MDNI 18+
(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)
Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..
Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔
Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare
Author Note: You know how each president of the U.S. gets a painting at the end of their term? I'm thinking like that. Plus, my favorite hobby is recreating renaissance art, so I figured this was a good fit (hopefully).
Cross posted onto AO3
Session 1: The Sketches
It was late at night when Leon made his decision to retire fully.
He had gotten home over an hour ago from reviewing mountains of paperwork, most of which pertained to missions that other agents have gone on or will be going on.
Younger agents. More energized agents.
The fact that he hadn't gone on a full mission since San Francisco was driving him up the wall. But that's what he wanted. He requested to hang back the last two years.
Both Chris and Claire had fully retired themselves right after San Fran, Claire being the first to retire to focus on her growing family with Chris following suit only a few months later. Jill was still around, but she was doing similar work that Leon was, only she was in a completely different department which was states away.
Of course Leon still talked with them all as regularly as possible, he'd go insane if he didn't, especially with Claire having a couple kids now. He wasn't the greatest with children, but it was refreshing seeing his friends achieve such normalcy. He wanted them to have the best life they could away from everything.
Having turned 40 a few some months ago, Leon was having a bit of a mid-life crisis. The mission to San Francisco a couple years ago had made him realize just how much toll the job itself had taken on his body. After being assessed and allowed home a few nights after returning from the mission, his body ached; joints creaking, back nearly thrown, just... tired.
Don't get him wrong, he was always tired after missions, but this was different. This wasn't just the regular aches and pains he dealt with after being tossed around like a rag doll, this was age.
Deep in his mind, Leon was still that 21 year old boy in Raccoon City. He never got the chance to properly grieve and move on, his mind forever changed by that event. Mentally, he was stuck there and had been this entire time.
It had taken the man this long to truly recognize the fact that he's older now. He's not that boy from Raccoon City anymore. He hadn't been in a long time.
What was he do to now? Leon had wanted so badly to serve and protect the people, but not like this. Not like he has for the past 29 years.
He spent his most formative years fighting unimaginable horrors, watching people suffer, watching people die. You don't just come back from something like that.
And unlike the friends he's managed to keep close, Leon didn't have someone he trusted. Hell, he barely trusted himself most days.
So now here he was, sitting drunk in his shower with his legs pulled up to his chest, his arms resting atop his knees while the water pelted down on him, silently mulling over everything he's ever seen and done during his time as an agent.
The water had grown cold at this point, Leon having quickly lost track of how long he was sitting spaced out like that for. Thankfully, he'd already cleaned himself before he ended up sitting down, so the hardest part now was just standing back up to get himself back out.
It took him a couple more minutes before he finally hoisted himself up with a tired groan, both his knees popping from being stuck in position for such a lengthy amount of time.
Once out of the shower, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, Leon stared at himself in the mirror; busy studying the crow's feet on both outer corners of his eyes as well as the prominent bags sitting under them, the smile line around his mouth, his now brown hair, the stubble on his face and neck that's he's neglected to shave, and just how exhausted he looked.
How has he never noticed any of this before? Why's he look so different now?
Settling into bed after this brutal realization was a tough task. The man followed his nightly routine of taking four Tylenol and two of his prescription sleep meds before setting his a/c 65 degrees Fahrenheit. He learned quickly many years ago that tossing and turning at night would make him overheat and sweat.
But tonight, nothing Leon did could ease that sinking feeling in his chest, that feeling of unfulfillmemt and shame weighing on him more than ever before.
The poor man barely slept at all last night, hangover evident by the way he was still slightly uneven on his feet as he leaned over the center island in his kitchen, head between his forearms while his hands sat clasped together.
Leon knew what he had to do. He's been feeling it ever since Chris and Claire made their departure, but it was so easy to deny. How was he suppose to give up the one thing that made him important? Sure the stress of his work was heavily tasking on the mind and body, but it's what gave him purpose. He felt useful doing what he did.
The man showed up for work late that day, barely having managed to dress himself. He didn't know exactly who to go to in this scenario, but everyone seemed surprised that the Leon Kennedy would show up for work in some ratty t-shirt and grey sweatpants. The stares were making him incredibly uncomfortable and he was quickly regretting showing up at all.
After sitting in his own office for awhile to avoid the looks and whispers, Leon eventually sauntered over to his superior's office, an almost solemn look on his face as he let himself in after knocking.
Needless to say, Leon was relieved his superior knew this was coming. Slightly offended, but relieved nonetheless.
It had been a long time coming, and it was only a matter of time before Leon threw in the towel, especially since he was now just working behind the scenes instead of on the frontline.
He was allowed to return home for the rest of the day if he wanted to, which Leon quickly took. He really didn't want to be in that building for much longer.
As soon as he returned home he went right back to drinking. And as ashamed as he is to admit, he even cried a little, half empty whiskey bottle in one hand while the other was clenched tightly into a fist as he gripped the pant leg of his sweats.
There wasn't anyone Leon could talk to about this. Chris and Claire had their own respective partners to come home to after retirement, but Leon? Leon had nothing besides a dingy and cold two bedroom house with only the basics inside, including his alcohol cabinet.
The man didn't even give himself time to date, only the occasional one night stand with randoms from the bar. He was too afraid that he would endanger anyone he allowed into his life like that, not to mention he'd been betrayed one too many times to trust in someone that way again. It was his way of keeping himself and everyone else safe.
The therapists he was assigned throughout the years all had the same concern regarding his love life, and deep down Leon was just as concerned, but he rationalized it with that hero complex he developed.
But he just couldn't rationalize it anymore. Leon was alone. He was alone, sad, and afraid.
About a month after Leon's retirement was processed and announced, word spread quickly throughout numerous government branches. There was a celebration set up at the White House to honor his service as a field agent.
The President had separated him and Leon from the party to slowly walk through the many hallways in the building. The old man could tell just how bothered the now ex-agent was by his retirement, so he figured now would be the best time to talk to him about his final task.
"You know," The President spoke up after a couple minutes of the two walking in silence, prompting Leon to slowly turn his head to listen. "I'm sure you've heard it so many times tonight, but you truly were one of the best agents I've ever seen."
Leon chuckled quietly, shaking his head a bit at the compliment. He had heard it a lot tonight, but obviously it was different coming from him.
"I'm serious. This county, probably the entire world, would've been in shambles if not for your hours spent." The President continued, slowing his walking to a stop.
"It means more than you know." Leon responded simply, voice a bit gravelly from the few drinks he's had. He took a couple steps more before stopping as well, turning around to face the prominent old man.
The President sighed, giving him a sympathetic smile while nodding. They stood in silence for a brief moment before the old man spoke up again, pointing lazily down the hall. "Follow me, I've got something I want to show you."
From there, the two wandered further down the halls until eventually reaching one hall that had lights more centered towards the walls, highlighting the picture frames that sat evenly spaced out amongst them.
Leon seemed a tad confused until he was able to focus on the first painting they walked by. He knew each president got a portrait painted after their full term was served, but the man in this painting wasn't a past president.
He stopped walking to stand in front of the painting, admiring the details it had before glancing down at the bottom of the elegant frame, a placard reading a name he didn't recognize. What he did recognize, though, was the word Agent that sat in front of the man's name.
While zoned into the placard, Leon didn't register the gentle hand that had been clasped on his shoulder, the President's voice breaking through his trance. "For as long as there's been bioweapons, we've had agents fighting to stop them. But only a few agents have truly outdone themselves. Agents like you."
Leon blinked a couple times before turning his head to look at the hand on his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't quite understanding what he was saying.
The President took his silence as a cue to continue, his sympathetic smile turning into a happier one as he gently tugged Leon's shoulder to get him to start walking again. "The D.S.O. has produced some of the greatest agents since Benford created it back in 2011. You were amazing before, but you've outdone yourself time and time again."
Leon still wasn't quite understanding, really only half listening as he kept his eyes trained to the numerous portraits of agents as he slowly passed them.
The two stopped in front of the last painting in the hallway, only a few spots away from leading into another hallway. It was Chris and Claire in this painting. Chris was sitting down in a chair while Claire stood next to him, hand resting on back of it, both of them smiling.
He studied the painting for a minute longer before whipping his head around to face the President, who was still smiling, as the realization slowly settling in.
"I-" Leon struggling to speak, glancing back at the painting before quickly looking back at the old man standing next to him.
The President simply nodded his head, smile widening with a gentle laugh. "Right. The painting process takes a bit of time, but I think you've more than earned this."
The ex-agent had so many questions. Firstly, why hadn't Chris or Claire mentioned this? But more importantly, he gets to have his own portrait painted?
"The painter knows all about you. She's excited to meet you." The President started down the hall again, Leon not far behind, still stuttering out nonsense as he attempted to form even a sentence. "I'll give you the information you need to get started with her. I have it written down back in my office."
A painting?
A painting. A painting for him. A painting to honor him. What?
Leon was once again sat on his couch, blankly staring at the small business card with a date and time written on it in pen. He'd read the info on the card so many times already, wanting to make sure he got absolutely nothing wrong.
Apparently he didn't have to call and confirm, all he had to do was show up to this random address at a specific date and time, which was soon. In a couple days kind of soon. Also, he thought he was reading the time wrong, but no, it was four in the morning, not four in the afternoon. What an odd and rather inconvenient time.
Even after memorizing the business card front to back, Leon would be lying if he said he didn't forget about meeting up with this mystery painter. He'd been rather aloof the past couple months, it was hard to pull himself out of that funk. He'd been staying up late and sleeping in even later, so hitting snooze on his alarm a good few times was just muscle memory at this point.
It was almost 5am when he realized where he was suppose to be, eyes shooting open as he yanked himself out of bed, desperately trying to clean himself up enough to be at least presentable.
The man was mentally chastising himself the entire drive. It was a short drive, which he was surprised by, and the building seemed quaint; red brick with large windows that sat on what looked like either a second or third floor.
He parked his bike right near what he assumed was the main door, pulling off his motorcycle helmet before knocking and waiting.
The last thing Leon was expecting was you to unlock and open that door; young and pretty, so pretty...
"Mr. Kennedy?" You asked, eyebrows raised slightly with a small smile. He nodded, just barely noticeable, reaching a gloved hand up to wipe at his eyes as he caught himself staring.
Your smile only widened at his nod, stepping aside to allow him into walk in. It took him a minute to realize you were still talking, shaking his head out to refocus himself.
"-again, really, no need to worry about being late. I was trying to work with your schedule but I should've known it's changed up a bit by now, right?" You lead him up a set of narrow stairs, though he was mostly following the smell of your perfume. It was such a light smell but he definitely picked up on it.
You opened a door immediately to the left of the stairs, letting Leon follow you inside. The sun was just starting to rise, shining through the large windows in the open room.
The place was cluttered, yet organized. Crowded, but that just made it all the cozier to Leon. His house was bare and lacked any sort of personality, but this... this place was covered in you.
"I'm glad you like it in here." You said in a quiet voice, looking up at him as he took in your workspace. He was smiling ever so slightly, which you mimicked with a smile of your own. "I try to make it welcoming in here, my apartment is the same way.."
Your voice trailed off as you walked over to a mostly put together set up near the back of the room where the only wall without windows sat. There was a chair sitting close to the wall, the same chair Chris was sitting in for his portrait with Claire, along with your easel sitting empty a few feet away.
Leon stood frozen, only moving his head around as he took everything in. He followed you with his eyes as you fumbled around with something, eventually producing a blank 24" x 36" canvas that was still wrapped in thin plastic.
His mouth made an 'o' shape as he pulled himself from his small trance once again, beginning to slowly make his way over to the set up you've made. He placed his helmet down on the floor beside the chair.
After placing the canvas on the easel, you walked back over to where you'd gotten the canvas from before grabbing a heavily used sketchbook. It was a large one, the paper a light brown instead of white.
Leon had only just realized that there was a faint sound of some form of classical music playing from somewhere in the room, glancing around for speakers before looking back over at you.
"I'm not getting started today, we're a couple steps away from that, so don't worry about appearance just yet." You said softly with a breathy laugh, quickly making your way back over to where he stood next to the plush chair in your setup, his hand feeling over the worn maroon fabric.
Leon nodded silently, moving to sit down once you requested he did, furrowing his eyebrows as he watched you drag over a small table. You worked fast, that's for sure.
Eventually, you'd set up a little tabletop easel to sit on the table you'd dragged in front of him, grabbing your swivel chair to sit in as you placed your sketchbook on the easel, open to a blank page.
"I just need to get some basic ideas of your facial structure since that's most important when it comes to these kinds of paintings. You're gonna be wearing a nice tuxedo when I do the second- no, third sketch for the final painting, but this is just for me to get a feel for you and vise versa." You rambled quickly, pulling out a pencil from one of your pockets before fully sitting down on the chair, bringing your legs up to sit criss cross.
"Uh.. Alright..." Leon responded, clearing his throat a bit. He didn't really understand what you'd said, you spoke a little too fast for his tired brain to keep up, but it seemed like whatever you were doing was necessary so he just rolled with it.
He was left a little speechless again at how you just began sketching, glancing up to his face and down to the page you were working on over and over. "...do you need me to, I don't know, pose or something?"
The way you kept looking at him was making feel a little uneasy. Granted he's never been in this sort of situation before, this whole process was very unfamiliar to him.
"No, no. You can move your head around and stuff. Get comfortable." You waved off, eyes wrinkling as you smiled at him. Leon nodded again, deciding to take the opportunity to look around your workspace again.
It really was a cozy space. Full of color and life, even the curtains you had lining the windows offered so much pattern and detail to the room. The back of the room where the two of you sat was more cluttered with less decor, but the front of the room was a whole different story with those massive floor pillows, blankets of all sorts strewn about, that big fluffy looking area rug, it was all so... homey. It was even inspiring him to decorate his own house a bit.
The sound of your pencil scribbling on paper and the faint sound of the classical music playing was all Leon could hear for awhile, eventually letting out an anxious sigh before beginning to talk. "So... a painter, huh..?"
"Oh yeah, I've been doing this since I was little. Obviously I wasn't that good back then, but I really improved after high school." You immediately responded, voice a little louder than his. Clearly the topic excites you. "If you want, I can hand you one of my other sketchbooks to look at while I do my thing over here?"
Leon patted his hands against the arms of the chair before nodding to the side, pursing his lips slightly. "Mm, sure. Let's see what ya got.."
As soon as he agreed, you stood up and shuffled over to the corner of the room where some desks sat arranged in a makeshift cubicle. You opened a drawer and pulled out a couple sketchbooks, still as raggedy as the one you were using now.
Walking back over, you carefully handed them to him, which he slowly took after meeting your eyes for a brief moment.
Once you made your way back to your chair, he placed both sketchbooks into his lap, opening up the one on top first. The man flipped through them silently as you began to sketch him out again.
You'd zoned into your work, adding just a bit of shading to your sketches to help emphasis some features when Leon cleared his throat again. You leaned to the side to look at him, your smile quickly returning when you saw his baffled expression.
"These are... wow, okay, how old are you?" Leon asked, head jerking upwards to meet your gaze once more. You just giggled in response, using the pencil as a fidget before returning to sketching.
"Sorry-uh, I don't mean to come off as rude or anything, but to be honest, I was expecting you to be some old lady when I saw the portraits you've done." Leon was quick to try and explain, probably misinterpreting your lack of response for unease.
Your giggle turned to a small laugh, leaning to the side once more to look at the man. "Well, I'm glad I could surprise you a bit. Hopefully I don't look old."
Leon groaned and wiped his hand down his face. "Again, sorry. Didn't mean to imply." He shook his head and looked back down at the two sketchbooks sitting in his lap, continuing to flip through them.
It was only a couple hours until you decided you got a good enough feel for drawing his face. Grabbing the sketchbook, you stood up, pencil still in hand, looking down at the sketches you made as you slowly walked over to him.
The man noticed you standing up, quickly moving to close the sketchbooks you'd given him in favor of seeing your new sketches.
"I... I think this'll be enough today. I don't want to keep you too long." You said, handing him the sketchbook. Leon took it from you, careful not to smudge anything as he finally got to see what you've been doing for the past two hours.
He furrowed his eyebrows as he studied the sketches you'd made of his face, seeing all the different angles, even the smile, how'd you get his smile?
You seemed to grow nervous the longer he stared at your sketchbook in silence, his intense look making it seem as if he didn't really like them. "Are they... Are they okay?"
Leon jostled the sketchbook a bit in his hands before standing up, now towering over you as he kept his eyes on the paper. "Just okay? These are beyond amazing."
You let out a small breath you didn't notice you were holding, heat rushing to your cheeks as you smiled at his compliment. "Oh, thank you.. I'm sorry, normally sketches don't take this long but it was stressed to me that your portrait was very important so I wanted to get everything as perfect as I could.."
"Seriously, you're a mad woman if you think these wouldn't be good." Leon chuckled, handing the sketchbook back to you. He kept his eyes trained on you, even after you turned to look down and close the sketchbook. Only a fool would miss that blush on your cheeks, it looked good on you.
"Anyways, when should I come back for the next.. uh..." Leon paused, crossing his arms loosely as he struggled to think of the word.
Luckily, you finished the sentence for him. "Session. Again, this painting's importance was stressed to me a lot, so probably the next time you're available?" You talked while you shifted the small table back to where it had originally sat under one of the numerous windows, tossing the sketchbook down on the chair cushion.
"Alright, since it's importance has now been stressed to me as well, I can probably clear up some stuff in my schedule. How's tomorrow sound?" Obviously, Leon had a completely free schedule, but you didn't need to know that.
"Tomorrow works great! The sooner the better!" You laughed, placing a gentle hand on his bicep as you walked past him to grab a sticky note. "I'll give you my personal number, just let me know when you're thinking of coming over and I'll meet you here, okay?"
Leon looked at your number before pocketing the note, nodding his head with a smile of his own. "Sounds good. Same way out?" He pointed to the door that you brought him in through, bending down to pick up his motorcycle helmet right after.
You confirmed with a thumbs up, now drinking water from your water bottle as you'd forgotten too while focused on drawing. You felt bad for not offering him any water while he was here, but you won't forget next time.
The man gave you a curt wave before leaving the room, quietly shutting the door behind himself.
You had to admit, you've worked with a very small handful of agents since it takes a lot for them to earn their own portrait, but Leon Kennedy had to be the one of the most handsome men you've ever worked with. Maybe even one of the most handsome men you've ever seen.
Lucky you pay attention to detail, cause you definitely didn't see a ring on his finger.
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sv5hive · 7 months
Text
all's well that ends well | lh44
pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!reader
content warning(s): suggestive content? (like one little comment nothing outrageous
word count: 2,107
note: this is a part two to this fic! thank you to the anon who gave me the idea otherwise i would have been stuck for ages!! so happy so many of you enjoyed it and i hope you enjoy this one just as much 😚🫶🏻
(masterlist!)
you let out a shallow sigh as you gently pushed the door closed with a click. last night's fight had plagued your mind and haunted your dreams meaning you had gotten almost no sleep at all. you just wanted to get all your stuff and find a small place to rent while you looked for a more permanent place to stay.
but lewis had other plans.
"hey, baby-"
"don't call me that, lewis. i thought i made it clear last night that it was over. i thought i also made it clear that i didn't want to see you again."
"ok, ok. i'm sorry. i just, i know i fucked up. but i can make it right again. i promise."
"like how you promised we would have a normal life together? i don't want to wait anymore, lewis. i told you this already. now please, let me just get my stuff and leave."
"no, just, just hear me out on this. i can't imagine how you felt while waiting for me to finally catch up to what you realised a long time ago. but i have been in love with you since the day i met you and if i let you walk away again i would never be able to live with myself."
despite what you had said earlier, you didn't hate him. and lewis could see you weighing up the idea in your head.
"saying it is but proving it is another. otherwise your apology means nothing."
"ok. yeah, ok i can do that."
he grinned at the possibility of winning you over.
"but, i need space. so, i will be getting my stuff and leaving."
"wait! you can stay here. i'll go, it's only fair."
"don't be silly, lewis. i still have my hotel room booked don't worry about it."
"no, no, please stay here. this house is yours as much as it is mine. don't worry, i can find somewhere else to stay. i know how you get sleeping in a bed that's not yours."
he knew you too well.
"ok. uhm, thank you, lewis."
"you don't need to thank me. i'll see you soon?."
"ok, yeah. see you soon."
you thought sleeping in your own bed would help you get a good night's rest but you seemed to toss and turn for hours on end. looking to your left, the digital clock on the bedside table screamed some unreasonable time in blinding red. you huffed before realising that maybe it wasn't just the bed. after all, all those years you slept in this bed you weren't sleeping alone. eventually, you did manage to fall asleep at some ungodly hour after scrolling on your phone mindlessly. but not without pondering how lewis was planning to change your mind.
the next morning you were awoken by a knock at the door. rolling your eyes, you readied yourself to turn lewis away but instead you were met with a bouquet of flowers on the doorstep. you peeked your head out to see if the person who dropped it off was still around but it was like they had disappeared into thin air. bringing the bouquet to the kitchen to place in a vase your eyes caught notice of a note gently tucked into the leaves.
thank you for giving me a second chance. you won't regret it.
he was making it hard to stay mad at him. you pulled out your phone and sent him a quick text.
thanks for the flowers.
anything for you. and i meant what i said.
read 9:26 am
humming along to the radio, you plated up your lunch and made your way to sit at the counter to eat. the recent weather had been unusually pleasant with the sun shining all day, and you thought about going for a run outside when a text popped up on your phone.
do you have any plans tonight? it read.
you debated lying to him but you had already finished with your work that day and you found yourself wanting to see him again after a little bit more than a week of being apart. you typed out your reply after a couple of seconds.
depends. what do you have planned?
it's a surprise.
you grinned.
i'll pick you up at 6.
oh and can you wear that black dress again? the backless one?
read 12:46 pm
you felt your face go warm at the reminder of what happened the last time you wore that number. god damn it. no matter what he would always have that effect on you. looks like you had something to look forward to tonight.
you smoothed away imaginary wrinkles while obsessively checking your entire appearance over in the mirror. it felt like you were doing too much but then again, you had to show lewis what he would be losing out on if he couldn't convince you. before you could check the time there was a knock at the door.
you calmed yourself down and opened the door to come face to face with lewis.
lewis swore he felt his world stop spinning.
"you- wow. you look...as beautiful as ever. seriously, why were you ever dating me?" he eventually managed to get out, audibly breathless.
your giggles filled the air as you hoped your makeup meant he couldn't see your entire face going red.
"you look, ok." you were lying straight through your teeth. he could make a trash bag look like a designer outfit and you both knew it. he found it funny enough to let out a chuckle though so maybe it was the right move.
"oh and uh, these are for you." as he remembered the bouquet of baby's breath, white chrysanthemums and blue hyacinth in his hands that he painstakingly put together himself.
"oh they're lovely. thank you. i'll just go put these in a vase and we can go."
he couldn't mess this up now. not again.
"ok, do you plan on telling me where we're going now or is it still a surprise?" you asked locking the front door and heading towards the car.
he opened the passenger door for you as you got in.
"y'know there's a saying that goes something along the lines of 'good things come to those who wait'. you ever heard of that one?" he retorted before getting behind the wheel.
"hmmm, i don't know. doesn't really ring any bells for me."
"that's too bad because i'm still not telling you."
"fine, be that way."
he looked over at you staring out the window refusing to spare him so much as a glance. you always have been a stubborn one he thought. shaking his head with a smirk, he began driving.
you were definitely surprised when you two arrived at the restaurant you raved about months ago - you didn't think he had been fully paying attention while getting ready for bed. now sat down at the secluded booth, you couldn't help but grin at the fact while in awe of the decor. all lewis could do was admire the pure joy and glee present on your face.
"what? why are you looking at me like that?"
"like what?"
"y'know, like that."
"i don't know what you're talking about."
all the other patrons must have been irritated by the way you two couldn't stop chatting and laughing as the bottle of wine dwindled down over several courses of delicious food. but if it meant he could see you so happy after everything he put you through he was ready to pay for them all to leave.
"so i've been thinking, and, i'm ready to take the next step with you. don't worry, i'm not about to get down on one knee right now, but i just thought you should know."
"what changed your mind?"
"i should've listened to you but instead i was an idiot and i let you leave. i'm sorry for that. and everything else. i guess seeing you walk out really brought me to my senses."
"yeah? well i'm glad it did."
"and i am absolutely ready to retire and start a family with you-"
"what?" you almost spat out your wine.
"i've thought about it and i want a family with you more than anything."
"no, lewis, i won't let you do that. you love racing. you said it yourself it's your whole life!"
"not anymore. i want to be there for you and i can't do that if i'm away driving every weekend."
"i can travel while pregnant, lewis. i'd follow you until i am physically unable to and we would be waiting for you until you come back home. i know how much racing means to you and i will always support you. besides, wouldn't you love to have your kid cheer you on in the garage?"
you two were cheekily grinning now at the prospect. he couldn't believe how lucky he was to find you.
"are you sure? it's not going to be easy."
"yes, of course i am. i've been sure for years, lewis. you were the one who wasn't ready."
his smile faltered a little as he wished he could go back in time and tell himself to get his act together. he couldn't change the past but he was damn well going to change your future together.
"ok."
"ok."
to everyone else in the restaurant, it seemed like a normal date, but if lewis kept his word then it meant the start of a completely new chapter in your relationship.
"you ready for this?" you were in awe of the man stood in front of you.
"more than ready."
"stay safe, ok? we want you back in one piece."
"of course. anything for my two favourite girls."
he placed a kiss on your forehead before taking the toddler from your arms.
"you ready to see daddy race? hmm?"
lewis nuzzled his nose against hers and placed gentle kisses all over her face, prompting an endless symphony of infectious giggles.
he had been absolutely petrified when you told him you were pregnant. he wanted nothing more than a family with you but babysitting nieces and nephews was very different to having your own child. even after all the baby books, birthing classes and packing dozens of hospital bags, lewis still almost passed out when your water broke. and if you weren't in excruciating pain due to your rapidly growing contractions, you would have teased him for his panic.
soon enough, his daughter was placed into his arms for the first time and all of a sudden there was nothing to be anxious about. he could still visualise the moment perfectly and yet somehow failed to describe just how he felt looking at the little one's face. she was the perfect mixture of the two of you.
"i'm so proud of you, my love. you know that right?"
season after season, he was left fighting in the midfield when he was finally given a championship contending car to restore his former glory. it was clear to everyone that lewis was more motivated than ever and that he just needed a car good enough to take him back up to the top step. all the late night meetings and simulator runs had finally paid off, as the legendary eighth world championship was won just a few races ago.
now, as you helped him prepare for his final race in formula one, you looked fondly back on the beginning of your relationship. you had everything you always dreamed of and you wouldn't trade it for the world.
"i couldn't disappoint my biggest supporters!"
"even if you didn't win we would still be your biggest supporters! isn't that right, my sweet girl?" you tickled your daughter as she curled back into lewis' neck to evade your hands.
"thank you."
you looked back at him with furrowed brows while fussing over the toddler.
"what for?"
"for everything. for taking me back, for making me the happiest man in the universe. twice, by the way."
you beamed from ear to ear at the reminder of the wedding that awaited you next year. he had proposed to you just before you found out you were pregnant and it felt like your life was falling into place at last. studying his face, you felt content knowing that you were truly meant for each other. nothing else mattered more than what lied ahead of you and you couldn't wait to experience it with the man you had fallen in love with years ago.
"i would do it all over again in a heart beat."
note: omg. it's literally 1 am but i had to finish this before my random streak of motivation ran out. i didn't think so many people would want a part 2 like i was so shocked at how many people enjoyed part 1!! never thought i'd get 10 notes let alone 100+ you are all tooooo kind 🥹
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thedivinetarot · 3 days
Text
Put your white tennis shoes on and follow me, why work so hard when can just be free
How do you lure people in?
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☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?
1) Close your eyes.
2) Clear your mind.
3) Take a deep breathe.
4) Ask the question in your head. Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.
☆ Note:
- This is a general reading, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
- I usually do an energy check for each pile so that the reading can resonates as much as possible.
- This reading is kind of long. Since it is divided into 4 sections. And each section shows a question including the energy check.
Take care ❤
Arya
1) How do you view yourself?
2) How do you lure people in?
3) How do you lure your romantic interest in?
Pile 1 - Under the moonlight
Your current energy
Well, in this pile I see that there's two energies. The first one is that there's a person in your life who is interested in you romantically. He might have scorpio placements or water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). I see that you are not seeing clearly the situation which is making you feel stuck and stagnant. I see that the other case here is that there's a person in your life or will enter soon who have the placements I mentioned above. At first, you are not going to trust him because you had your fair share of heartbreak. I see that you are going or you are doubting his feelings for you. I see that you think that there's a heartbreak after all this happiness and genuine feelings which is so sad honestly. What I see from the cards is that this person have a very stable feelings for you. But he is either too cold to express them or he have an avoidant attachment style. I see that this person's intentions towards you are very genuine. He want to be in a platonic relationship with you. He want to protect you and support you. I don't honestly see anything harmful coming from that person. The only thing that might sabotage this relationship is you pile 1. I think you are too afraid to be vulnerable and open up to them which keeping you stuck and away from love and happiness. You fear the heartbreak even though that person have literally your best interest at heart. Okay, another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile are working on a project and I literally feel like my mid to lower back is hurting me so bad. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on your physical body which is leading you to feel this way. Or metaphorically; you may be having a lot of assignments and projects for your college/ school or work which is keeping you restless and tired. I see that you are working with a group of people but the main focus is on you idk why. Also I feel like you are working out in a very harsh way which is giving you this pain your back pile 1. Some people here feel pain in their hips and pelvis area too. I literally feel that on my body. Try to rest, drink some herbal tea, read a book and disconnect from the internet. Go out for a walk under the sun (Idk if you live in cold or warm climate but anyways 🥲). Now let's get into the reading.
1- How do you view yourself?
So, this pile see themselves as people who lack foresight and decisiveness. I see that you guys are aware of your own potential but due to laziness and being discouraged by your life circumstances you chose to leave the battle without even trying to fight back. I see that you chose to surrender to whatever life have offered you. You could be a new school graduate who doesn't want to go to college due to your financial state. I see that also this pile are quite mature emotionally. You are a bit nostalgic to your childhood and how things were safe. I see also that you are for whatever reason; you think that your life will change like magic. I will explain to you. You see those movies where the girl lives her WHOLE life thinking she is an ordinary person but then someone tells her that she is a decent queen or princess and her life turn around 180°?(princess diaries movie is a reference here) I feel like this pile want change so bad but at some point you gave up to try and change anything. Like you lost your passion to live or even that your life will improve. I see that you are someone who is very artistic, someone who is very spiritual too. You like traveling, you like learning about different cultures. You like to educate yourself instead of scrolling endlessly on IG or tiktok. But I see that there's still hope for you. Also, what I'm seeing that this pile are quite innocent and if not then you are someone who always feel this sense of nostalgia. You feel nostalgic to people, to places, you always have something to reminisce over. Another thing I'm picking up on is that people in this group are quite motherly. They like taking care of people especially young children. You like setting with them, you like how sweet they are. You might tell yourself that you want to become a mother one day. Some people here view themselves as a gate to heaven. How so? Like you see this person who enters your life and their life change for better? I'm picking up on people with esfj, enfj, infj, isfj, estj mbti. Someone who changes people, who fix them. Who can show them the great future that await them if they change. Pile 1 you see yourself as a catalyst to change.
2-How do you lure people in?
First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile appear stable in front of people. You look put together and elegant. I see that even if you do not wear the best clothes you have people still think that what you are wearing is expensive. I see also that you appear quite heartbroken, there's this melancholic aura around you. Another thing is this pile are quite mysterious by nature. You do not overshare yourself and you keep people thirsty for more. You appear also quite faint? You see those people who are enigmatic? Their hair color is very high in contrast with their skin. There's this aura of mystery around you, which make many people wonder. "Who is she/he?" I am seeing that you are quite magnificent. In the previous paragraph I typed that you view yourself and someone who is innocent and sweet, people also view you like that pile one. They view you as someone who is lovely to be with, especially new friends or people who want to be your friend. They get so excited and happy when you are around. Also, I see that people view you as someone with many potential. You literally know that and you see it in yourself. You know that you have so much potential in you. People in your company feel in awe honestly. You make people also aware of thir beauty and potential. You see beauty everywhere you go. People also see that your views and opinions on the world are quite interesting. You see things in different light and you make people see what they was not able to see before. You appear as a lone wolf to people. You are always alone in public enjoying a drink or walking. You presence is so liked by others. I see beauty and brains yo you could be someone who is blessed by beauty and also smart soo (lucky you pile 1).
3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?
People who are romantically interested in you see that you have many options. That's why they do not dare to make a move on you. I see that many People crush on you but they fear coming in out of rejection. They fear getting rejected by you pile 1. Also I see that you appear as someone who is content on their own and you do not really want someone out of neediness. You want them because you like them That's why. I see that, you might have stalkers. People in this pile might have got stalked online or physically. I see that because of your mysterious aura People really get curious about you. I see that this pile attracts older men. Like if you are in your 20s you might notice that men who are in their 40s and 50s are attracted to you. And if you are a guy reading this then women really get intrigued by you, especially if they are older. I also see that you always have an option but you chose to stay alone because you think that working on yourself or studying is what really matters. I see that romantic interests tend to view you as someone who is out of their league, someone very nurturing. They may call you wife material and they are right! You are loyal and honest. I see also that you attract older men. Because they are more authoritative and more wealthy that people your age and a little younger/older. Some people in this pile like the baby/daddy dynamic, Idk why but I keep hearing "every man gets his wish and 1949 by Lana Del Rey" go listen to them if you want to. There's a lot of references on the cards on sugar baby/ daddy relationship. Honey, if you want an older man/woman or a sugar daddy/mommy you can easily attract one and believe me you can literally make them your slave. I see that your romantic interest value you because you are not afraid of walking away from things that do not serve you. I see that the love relationship that you are seeking and imagining in your head is meant for you in this lifetime. And you are going to get them no matter how old you get.
4- Placements for this pile
Fire placements (Aries, Sagittarius and leo). Earth placements (Taurus, Capricorn and virgo). Aquarius, Cancer, Venus in scorpio. Pluto with aspects to the ascendant. Mars, jupiter, Uranus, Mercury, neptune dominant.
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Pile 2- A cross the shore
Your current energy
Okay, I see this pile feels disappointed because of a man in your life? He could either be your father or someone you are with in a relationship. I see that this man is sabotaging your happiness. You could be so happy and satisfied and then you set with him and your mode change 180° for the worst. I see that also if you are a woman you might be a gemini and this man is so cocky that he make you feel anxious and out of element. Another thing I'm picking up on is that this pile are trying to juggle many responsibilities but due to stress and anxiety you are just postponing your priorities until you get the mind clarity that you are looking for. And if not that case is applicable to your case then I see that you are someone who is very structured or organized and there's many responsibilities on your shoulders right now but due to stress and exhaustion you are just surrendering to life? I see that you need some time for yourself pile 2, try to reflect and take a break. If you have many responsibilities then break the task into small baby steps so you can complete it; also try to take a break between each task. Pile 2 your spirit team is telling you that the worst have finally ended and they want you to know that whatever thing you wish for you'll get it. I see that they are encouraging you to get out and be more social and be optimistic. They hate seeing you sad and anxious. They want you to know that they love you and they are working day and night to insure that you are safe and sound. Idk why I started tearing up I feel suddenly a wave of warm emotions, I also feel so tired and sleepy pile 2 if you want to sleep please go and sleep everything will be alright. They are telling me that the clarity you want will come to you quickly and you don't have to work for it. You only need to set still and listen to the synchronicity they are sending you. Each one of those synchronicities have something to do with what you want to know. God bless you pile 2.
1- How do you view yourself?
I see that you view yourself as someone who is very spiritual. A priestess, I'm seeing. You like to dive deep into the unknown, you have this thirst for dark knowledge like occult, witchcraft, tarot, astrology, alchemy and other forms of divination. I see that you see yourself as someone who embody the pluto archetype. Someone who is in a constant inner change, you could be now having your first or second spiritual awakening which is kinda harsh in your lens. I see that you are someone who is very patient and stubborn. Someone who can reach whatever they want. I see also that you see yourself as someone who is scattered brain and your head is always in the clouds. You could be a dreamer too. I'm seeing that you are someone who is trying their best but you feel like the best thing is nothing important to anyone. I feel like you might see yourself as someone who is an outcast? Someone who is overlooked by others. People don't really take you seriously and they think that you are dumb? (I'm not saying you are dumb neither people around you, it is your perception to things pile 2). I see that you see yourself as someone who is mentally ill, someone who is overlooked by people from their own gender. You might have dealt with girls/girl friends who used you for what you have like money/service or attention and then they ditched you when their business has done. I see that you might be so attached to your female caregiver so much it could be your mother or grandmother or old sister for some of you. Put I'm seeing that this caregiver is old like in their 40s. This pile has a really melancholic perspective of who they are it is like someone who is lost. I see that unlike pile 1, you use your intuition a lot or you started listening to your intuition in order for you to survive. You might have given a lot of people lots of second chances but they played you again until you literally got drained and depleted of energy. So, as a coping mechanism you chose to stay by yourself so you can protect your inner peace. I see you may call yourself a freak in a proud way. Like you see those people who got treated horribly because of their personalities but then they accepted the fact that it is what it is and they started calling themselves of what people called them proudly? You might be like this.
2- How do you lure people in?
Well, pile 2. I see that you act distant and aloof in front of people but once you warm up to someone you can be really helpful. I see that at first people see that you are starting fresh and new in your life (because of your spiritual awakening) they see how mentally and perhaps physically you are changing. I see that you try to do your best to keep your life together, people can see that you are trying but what make them sad is you do not ask for help. You do not want anyone to help you. You think that no one cares but in fact people care more than you think. I see what really make those people stay away from you is that you do not give them a chance to reveal themselves. You might be in a survival mode and you see everything in black and white but life is more than that. This pile make me so sad. It is like I'm not reading for HOW you lure people in it is like WHAT people's reaction when they see you and it is completely two different things. I think that this pile need to work on their perception of themselves because the way you see yourself play a major role of how people treat you. I think that you have self worth issues and you think that you do not deserve happiness or love or friendship. You are telling yourself the SAME damn story to convince yourself that it is what it is but it is not WHAT YOU THINK! I know this awakening is so hard but believe me when you emerge from your cocoon as a beautiful butterfly you'll see how good it is. I feel like many people in this pile are confused of which stage in the spiritual awakening you are in. Personally I've gone through that and this video will help you. I feel like you are in place in your life where survival is an apparent theme and not really anything else. You might be on survival mode for like months or even years. It is not for everyone so take what resonates.
3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?
Okay, due to your distorted self perception of yourself your romantic interests tend to avoid getting closer. But they do see the potential in you. I see that to the opposite gender you might be someone who is considered cute or attractive in general, but the thing is you do not see that yourself. I see that the opposite gender see you as someone who is the wish come true. To them you are someone who is very familiar and lovely. They are so pleased when you talk to them. I told you pile 2. Your self perception is stopping you from going after things that will make you happy. I see that your romantic interest sees how cool and good you are but they fear coming in because of the rejection and heartbreak you'll cause them. I see that you are a forbidden fruit to them. Like they are allowed to look but not allowed to taste or touch. Like a beautiful painting on a wall, they want to get closer to you, they want to touch you and get to know you but you are the one who is running away from anyone who mignt be a good option for you. You might like to start your relationship with the opposite gender as friendship and then develop it into something romantic. I see that your romantic interest view you as someone who is very fortunate, someone who is sweet, bubbly and someone they can trust to have a family with. People in this pile are divided into two sections, one energy here; their romantic interest views them in a sexual lusty way. Like you might be blessed with curves (bigger boobs, nice body shape) they see all of this and they are like "🤤", If you are a man or male I think the opposite gender see you as someone hot or you know very attractive too. I think people in this pile, their romantic interest see you as marriage material. They touch themselves as the thought of you pleasuring them. Others in this pile attracts people like them. Like if you are someone with low self esteem, you'll attract someone with low self esteem too. If you are commitment phobe, you'll attract someone exactly like you. So be careful. In this pile you might feel like your romantic interest mirror your inner self. The trauma, your fears, your doubts, how you see yourself. They mirror it, so please pile 2, try to work on that we want to attract good people into our life.
Placements for this pile:
Gemini, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Water placements or water dominants (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). Taurus,Virgo, Jupiter, moon, Saturn, Mercury, Pluto dominant. number 3 is significant in this pile.
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Pile 3- The light house
Your current energy
Hello pile 3. How are you? I hope you are doing well. First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile is confused. I feel like you just woke up from a deep sleep or you have slept like +9 hours but you are still tried. I feel like this pile are trying to heal and seek clarity. I see that you are trying to label your values and what you really want from life. This pile’s energy are quite serene. You are living your life in a monotone way. Like you wake up, go to work/school/ college, study, eat, go to sleep. And the cycle repeat itself again. You want change in your life but you know that change will not come easily unless it starts from you pile 3. You know that and you are aware of it. You are aware that in order to change you need to work on yourself, you need to get to know your values, what you like and dislike. You want to get to know yourself and what you truly want to live. I see also that you are hanging on a connection that you think has potential but believe me darling, this connection is just an attachment. You are attached to this person and not the other way around. Perhaps, this person may at some point saw something in you but they do not know how to reach out. They do not know how it will work and you know that too. This pile’s energy is very stable, and rational honestly unlike pile 2; I felt like I'm suffocating and I cried while typing their paragraph. Anyways, I see you guys are thinking of moving into another state or country. I see by traveling there; you will put an end to the stagnant energy within you or your life. I see also that this pile will suffer from a short term poor financial state but then everything will be alright. I see that someone might enter your life pile 3, he could be a sagittarius or have sagittarius placements. This person is very driven and sexy omg. I see that soon He will be in your life. The cards are telling me that he will be there all of sudden. His entrance will shake up things in your life for the better. Don't worry pile 3, you will have the cake and eat it too. Soooo enjoy the attention.
1- How do you view yourself?
This pile view themselves as someone who is witty and cunning with a hint of manipulation. I see that you know how to use people to your liking and advantage. I also see that have a pretty convincing way of communicating. You know how to gaslight people to give you want you want. Some people in this pile do manipulate people intentionally, they know what they are doing. I see that you can be pretty lazy and harsh with people. You might have mercury in sagittarius? Or mercury with harsh aspects to pluto? Someone who is very intelligent and lazy. Almost gives me INTP, ISTP, ISTJ, ENTP and some of you could be INFJ or INTJ too. Many of you have been through a lot of financial issues which forced you to leave your lazy tendencies and start seek a job so you can feed yourself. I feel like you are someone who lives alone in their own apartment or own a house by themselves. But you owned this after you worked like a dog to earn this money. I see that some people here lack imagination and you don't really understand why some people call themselves dreamers. You thunk dreaming or imagining things is a dumb thing or you seek the psychological meaning behind it. People in this pile are so logical and pragmatic, you have no connectionto emotions becauseyou think people who think with their heart are stupid. You prefer to see things in objective way. And you hate anything related to theory. You see that there's no use in using theories and you only believe in hard facts. In this pile I see also that you hate being bored I remembered when Lana twitted on X "you are boring me to death and I'm already dead". I think you hate boredom too pile 3. You hate boring people and dumb people. People in this pile can be Narcissists or Machiavellian or you have symptoms of this personality disorder (take what resonates I will not label people here as good or bad you know if you are good or bad pile 3). Also you have a high self esteem and you think that you deserve the world. You might be working right now so you can be in a high position in society. Someone who is authoritative and demanding. You want people to fear you and to respect you more than to like or love you. You get thrilled when someone announce that they hate you and they are your enemy. You like that and it gives you this energy boost. I see also that you are digging your way up, you are trying to prove to yourself that you'll be someone great in the future. You have this enormous drive to you that make you go on and on to reach your goals I'm hearing Marina song "High achiever can't you see, baby nothing come for free" but I forgot the song's name lol. You are always working on your goals and have a vision for the future.
2- How do you lure people in?
Omg this pile is quite bitchy. I hate saying this but people are attracted to you and hate you at the same time. They are attracted to your charm but they hate it when you turn the table on them. You might be someone who LIKES to gossip and because of that almost no one really want to be your friend. People like it when they come to you for advice because you are not swayed by emotions or imagination, you give them your opinion without being shy of sayingthe truth. You lure people in there's this drive to you, the ambition. Especially if you are a man or a male or masculine, everyone droll over how masculine you are. They like how decisive you are. People see the inner power in you, they see how passionate and wonderful you can be. Also you intimidate people, your presence make people uncomfortable because of the powerful aura you show to others. I see also that there's this wonder-ness about you. People in this pile here are not ashamed to explore and discover what they want as I mentioned in the energy check in. I see also that you keep ignoring your intuition and you lack emotional maturity which is soon will be changed. I see one of the lessons you'll learn in this lifetime is to be more emotionally intelligent and to be more compassionate towards others. People see that you are a me me me person. They see that because of your confidence and charm you can be a bit (How can I say it?) You are attention seeker? You are giving me The Weekend vibe idk why😭.
3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?
Your possible romantic interest view you as someone who is warm and optimistic. Most of your romantic interest crush on you because of how you look. They have no idea how dangerous you can be lol. Anyways, your romantic interests view you as someone who doesn't have man friends or a lone wolf even if you are an extrovert and you know a lot of people they assume that you are a lone wolf who doesn't have many friends. I see that your romantic interest are mostly dreamers or people who are delusional. Or I see that you attract people who are the total opposite of your personality. It is for a reason and the reason is to connect more with your emotional side. Your romantic interest feel scared of approaching you because you appear a bit unbalanced or a player. They see you as someone who will probably play them and fuck with their heart (A heartbreaker honestly). You might be someone who is considered attractive to people in the country you are living in. I see that you have a very sexy aura and you sexual energy is out of the chart. You might post nudes of yourself just to tease your crushes online. You have many stalkers too. If you are a guy many girls stalk you online. And if you are a female/girls/feminine many guys harass you online and they send you +18 pic of their.... you know. I see also that your romantic interest view you as someone who is quite harsh with words or someone who is very honest like bluntly honest which most of the time hurt their feelings. Your romantic interest view you as someone who they see a long term relationship with. They see you as someone who can pull them out of their shell. Also someone who is very smart and intelligent. They like how smart you are.
Placements for this pile
Air placements or dominant (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Sagittarius, Leo especially the ascendant, Capricorn, Sun, Mercury, Venus, jupiter as dominant planets in your chart.
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Pile 4- Eye of a mermaid
Your current energy
Hello pile 4, how are you? Well let's get into the energy check of yours. First thing I'm picking up on is that you are either in love with someone who doesn't love you back or you have ended a romantic relationship because of a third party. But what mostly obvious here is that there's chasing and convincing. I see that you or the other person are chasing one another and no it is not mutual. It is like the more feminine energy in this connection is putting too much effort that the man started to feel egoistic and self assured that the feminine won't leave him. I see that you guys are very generous and selfless people. You have many friends and you are spending majority of time asking for their advice on your love life. It is painful honestly, I feel like my heart is sinking. You have many potential pile 4 and whatever you are chasing won't come to you unless you detach and forget about it. It is okay if we love someone and they don't love us back but the problem is when you hang your WHOLE existence around that perosn. Love is pure, genuine, it is the most pure energy in this universe. So, don't be sad that they are not sharing their love with you. Instead, be concerned on how to detach from that person. Another energy I'm picking up on is that you might be in a fwb situation or poly relationship. I see many parties interfering with the relationship that you feel the person you are loving is not loving you back. This person honestly is not the best so, try to move yourself out of the situation and give them a block for 2 months. If this person tried to reach out during these 2 months then they care for you and if not then you are just a replacement (sorry for being harsh on you pile 4). I see that this pile here there's someone perhaps a soulmate. This person is coming too soon into your life so whatever situation you are in, you'll find someone who will give you the love that you give to others and they will held you accountable. Okay my dears?
1- How do you view yourself?
Okay, first thing I'm picking up on is that you are someone who really hate change. You can literally eat the same food, do the same routine and live on the same frequency for ages without trying to change you life circumstances. Also, I see that you are someone who is very smart and intelligent. You see yourself as someone who is not swayed by delusions. The funny thing is (what I'm picking up on intuitively) that you say that you don't believe in tarot, astrology or paranormal stuff but you manage to read tarot or like being curious about your placements and other stuff. I see that you see yourself as someone who is pessimistic and not that funny or optimistic at all. The cards are also telling me that you need to change or at least accept the idea of change. You appear as someone who is very charming, tempting or someone who is quite attractive to others. Also you are someone who is very active, you like to keep yourself busy during the day. I see a job that requires you to stay active and in service. You could be a waiter/ waitress or cashier? Someone who is always moving. And if not then you are an athletic who have to always be training. You are someone who is always in their head. You might have anxiety or anxiety attacks randomly. You might also try to surrender to circumstances but there's this voice inside you that always nagging you to keep fighting and pushing back. I guess that's why you are always pessimistic pile 4, it is because you hate how you are forcing yourself to keep going. Because after all this enforcement you are not getting the result you aspire to get at all. You are someone who is very generous with time, effort and money. I see that you view yourself as someone who is very cooperative and if not then you view yourself as an extrovert who have many friends. The cards keep replying the same idea which is the selflessness. You need yo balance the give and take energy in you. If someone gave you attention try to give them the same amount they are giving you and don't take it too far. I see that you have people pleaser tendencies. I see that you don't really see the people pleasing thing as a problem at all. Like you truly like to help others because it heals something in you. I'm picturing Monica Gellir from Friends. She have this strong energy, presence and above all she is so caring and hard worker. You may have something in common with her. I see that you are someone who is a bit romantic too. You like romance, but you see those people on tiktok who read lots of romantic stuff and when someone actually is interested they cringe? You might be like that. I see that you are someone who is very loyal, especially to your friends. You might have you venus or moon in Taurus. I'm sensing here a lot of devotion from you guys unlike pile 3 they are narcissists lol.
2- How do you lure people in?
Pile 4 are you an ENFJ/ESFJ? I feel like this pile are a knight in a shining armor. I feel also that you project a picture to people that is not true about yourself. You may pretend like you have a specific traits that are not in you or you lie about sensitive stuff to avoid the hard feelings that come with it. Many people in this pile are very active and action oriented. People see you as someone with a lot of energy to give to others. I see that you are very helpful and people like that. The way you lure people in is a mix of fogginess and helpfulness. Or you may see that at first people project alot of stuff into you, they may tell you things that is not necessary you. Pile 4 do you have neptune/ascendant aspects? Because people always tend to project into you stuff that are not there. People may view you as someone who is naive, others tend to view you as someone who is manipulative. And so on and so forth. I see that also people view you as someone who lack imagination and if you are imaginative by nature then they see that you are someone who is not spiritual at all. They may tell you that you look helpless even though you know where exactly you are going. There's this fog around how people view you. They can't quite tap into who you truly is! Which leave you misunderstood by others. You are exactly like someone for ex, who spent their whole life being told that they are selfish but you are not selfish and you know that. I see that people see you as someone who is a hard worker. They see your efforts and they appreciate them too. People (because of the projection thing) can't really tell you who you truly are. They see the effort you put but not your potential. You may get laughed at when you claim to want to be a model, a singer or anything because people don't seem to think that you can do that. In fact you can, it is just the thoughts of them that they project onto you which is quite sad honestly. People tend to get possessive of you and attached not because of who you are, but because of who they view you to be. It is like those people have something missing and they paint you with what is missing in their life and they claim that you fulfill all the things that is missing from their life. It is sad honestly because they can't see you for who you truly are, instead they project into you. This pile feels like an object to other people which keep them stuck in the same patterns. I guess from what I'm seeing in the cards that your life mission is to get to know yourself and stop letting others project into you.
3- How you lure your romantic interest in?
Okay, your romantic interest see that you are someone who is very independent and ambitious. You may attract a lot of mentally ill people into your life? Or people with avoidant attachment style or peoplewho are non-committed? I see that this people are quite manipulative. Like for ex, they may lie to you about something that they don't have and then you get shocked of the truth. I see that this pile attracts many cheaters. Or people who is considered a walking red flag. People in this pile may have dated people who do not love them. Not love, I see lust. The opposite gender may lust over you a lot sadly. You may be someone who is considered attractive or beautiful in social standards. You attract many cheaters into your life and indecisive people too. Like okay, those people can never be serious or committed to you at all. I'm picking up on the other woman vibe. A girl or a woman who is so beautiful, she have a big heart but all she get from the opposite gender is cheating, lies non-committed relationships or you may be the side chick in the relationship. That's why in the beginning of the reading I felt this sense of unrequited love! It is because you want a relationship, you want love but you can't seem to attract those to you and it is frustrating! You may always try to prove that you are more than a beautiful face/body but unfortunately they only see you as a sexual object. And if you are a man you may have dated several women who were not serious about committing to you or women who is considered hot but are superficial and only cares about money (like more than who you truly are). This pile is sad honestly, all people here are not seen for who they truly are but instead who people want them to be. So, I see that you'll take a reflecting period and quit dating for a while just to see what you truly want and if you are already doing that then good for you pile 4. You deserve applause 👏🏻. Take time and detach, learn how to love yourself, and seek the truth! You truth and what truly matter in your life.
Placements for this pile
Fire placements especially Aries, Air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Earth placements (capricorn, virgo and taurus). Saturn, Mercury, jupiter, Uranus, neptune, sun dominant.
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Post dated: 22nd of Sep/2024- Sun
*Feedback is appreciated
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