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#I'm. very soft. no one talk me.
angelizs · 2 years
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[Keep the warmth in - A lazy morning with Che'nya]
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You can feel the sun rays behind your eyelids, the few ones that escaped the curtains grasp, trying to wake you up, as if biding you good morning.
Drowsy, your eyes open, blinking once, twice, thrice. A deep sigh leaves your lips, your chest heaving with it.
The room is warm, the body draped over you is warmer. The hot breath tingles your neck, the fluffy ears twitching slightly. There are legs tangled with yours, arms embracing you. 
You move your fingers, one by one, calling feeling back to your dormant hand. Softly, you caress the mop of hair under your palm, humming as you bask into the morning tranquility, a rare calm moment in your so busy life.
It's warm and tender. You watch your lover's sleeping face, even if you had to crank your neck a bit to do so. Che'nya looks incredibily innocent like this, no trace of his usual mischievous self. His mouth is slightly open and, up close, you can see his features better, how his eyelashes lay on his skin, how his cheeks are flushed in a cute pink tone, his hair tousled.
The smile that takes over your face is fond, your eyes drinking up the sight while it lasts. A sound of contentment leaves your throat, your free hand rubbing circles and tracing little shapes on Che'nya's back. 
You can feel a light purring coming from him. He nuzzles his head onto your shoulder, hiding his face from view. You adjust your head, exposing your neck to acomodate him better. Your hand doesn't leave his hair, petting it with care.
In the back of your mind, you wonder what time it may be. You make a mental list of what you have do to through the day, including what you should make for breakfast. Buttered toast with tea sounds nice and easy, so maybe you should go with that.
There's a feather light feel on your neck, lips grazing over it, close enough to touch but not quite doing it. You shiver, your hands stopping their motions as your breath hitches. "Hm, good meow-rning..." Che'nya's voice is rough from just having woken up, a raspy tone on it that mingles with his usual chipper one. 
A kiss is deposited on your neck, followed by a light nibble. You sigh, a sound filled with joy. You can feel his heart beating from where his chest presses against yours, a comforting feeling. Another kiss follows the last one, his hand reaching yours and lacing your fingers together. Your heart flutters as you squeeze it, chuckling, your voice barely a whisper.
"Good morning, love." Che'nya pulls back, his head coming in front of yours and blocking the sunlight. Above you, his hair is messier than usual, his ears without their usual earrings, his eyes lidded. There's a grin on his face, as always, but it's one he reserves just for you. Not the too big one, but not a too small one, either. It's just the right amount of both loving and teasing. You slide the hand from his hair to cup his cheek, feeling him melt into your palm, his eyes closing in bliss. Your thumb caress the skin, relishing on the contact. "Did you sleep well?"
"I had the craziest dream." He mewls, his forehead coming in touch with yours. You hum, encoraging him to go on. "There was a door, but it was very tiny, and I was very big." Your hand slips from his cheek, holding onto the back of his neck. "Then I became very tiny, but everything else was really big."
"Oh? What did you do then?" Your fingers graze his neck gently, his ears twitch, goosebumps appearing on his skin. He pulls back again, his eyes fluttering open to gaze down at you. His head turns to the side, very much like a curious cat, and his grin widens. 
"I'll tell you, but only if you give me something."
"How about a kiss?"
His head cocks to the other side, as if thinking it over, a pout of concentration on his lips. "Nope, won't do." He shakes his head, his hair getting more out of place, making you giggle.
"Two, then."
His eyebrows furrow, eyes closing. "No." He drags the word, dramatically. You can't resist it, so you poke the wrinkles, making him yelp.
"So demanding. Three it is."
He stares at you, giving a fleeting glance at your lips before looking up again. "I supposed it'll do for now." His hand releases the hold it had on yours and reaches your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
Che'nya leans in and presses your lips together, tenderly. It's soft and slow, lazy, even. His teeth graze your bottom lip as he's about to pull away, but you stop him. The hand on the back of his neck leads your lips to connect again and you groan, pleased. 
There's a quick moment when your lips part for you to catch your breath before they are meeting once more, your hand traveling up to rum through his hair as he whimpers. Your free hand goes to his waist, holding him close to you, keeping the warmth in.
You separate but he stays close, hovering over you. His lips have an after kiss quality to them that makes satisfatction flow through you. Your hand trails from behind his ears to the back of his neck to his cheeks, mimicking his own.
"I passed through the door." He says, picking up on where you left the conversation about his dream. "But everything stayed big, and I stayed small."
"I see. That's a strange dream, but it's in accordance to your usual ones, right? It would be stranger if it wasn't."
"How odd that you try to find order in the midst of chaos." Che'nya leans down and gives you a kiss on the forehead, so full of affection you can feel it. He then rolls over to the other side of the bed and sits up, stretching his limbs. "You're right, it's still on brand for me!" 
You laugh from his sudden burst of energy. "Feeling awake now?" 
"After that? Of course I am! Although I could use an extra boost, just to make sure~"
You sit up as well, coming face to face with him. You give him a quick peck before getting up and ready to start the day, grin firmly in place as he follows you, asking for another kiss.
The sun enters the room and it's warm. You feel warm, down to the tip of your toes. Che'nya also feels warm, by the smile on his face. It's a warm moment, and it's yours.
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sysig · 4 months
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I think the world is so wonderful... (Patreon)
#My art#Handplates#UT#Papyrus#I have not been able to get this idea out of my head for like - days now lol#It's only solidified the more I read! Heck!!#I dunno if I was necessarily hoping that reading further would point me in another direction but no now this is one of his songs lol#I really like Rugrats Theory actually :) The song of course it's lovely but I even have some nostalgia for the creepypasta haha#Been a while since I read it tho so that's probably just the soft haze of memory talking lol#But the song is still great! I'm partial to the English cover but I like the original as well :)#There are just so many fun lyrics! Especially for Papyrus specifically#''Everything I've been told I believe and yet people that I love just leave'' Gasterrr#''I think I'm old enough to understand so there's no reason to hide from me'' Sanssssssss#Once I returned to the scene of Sans trying to lie to him I just fjdslahfd these lyrics would Not leave me alone lol#I'm also Extremely partial to the second verse surrounding blindness and willful ignorance - his vision problems literal and metaphorical!#I wasn't planning to start a Handplates playlist but I guess by this point it's kinda too late haha#I also tried a different style of shading for this one ♪ Trying to style match a bit hehe#It's fun! Scratchy - tho some of that is from still using my usual brushes lol#I was Very inspired by watching the comic creation playlist - so cool! Very fun to watch and pick up ideas hehe#I knew I forgot something lol dang it - forgot the dash between WDG-2#S'what I get for using pre-plates references :P#For just a quick little thing I'm fairly pleased overall tho :)
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sskk-manifesto · 4 days
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#Wow. Okay ♡#I love this episode. The animation is flawless. The drawings quality is out of the world for real.#I love this episode so much I'm so grateful so much care and dedication went to this sskk centered episode.#(Refraining to talk about what 5x03 could have been)#Sorry for repeating myself but seriously the illustrations this episode are so so pretty.#I rarely appreciate how Akutagawa is drawn in the anime but when it comes with this episode I really like how he looks too.#And Atsushi that I already like a lot in the anime on average‚ this episode is just fabulous. Handsome even.#Seriously I don't know who the animators are but I want to kiss them. This art style is one I dare say I like even more than Dead Apple–#that although is obviously more detailed is just... In comparison too rough for my personal taste?#The art style for this episode is very delicate and soft and I love it tons#And the directing is just great. No weird pacing or awkward ost choice. It's neat.#The reiterated placing ss/kk on opposite sides is neat. The lightening is likeable and especially the purple scene is super pretty.#The “don't compare me to him” scene is neat. The ss/kk final scene is AMAZING. It's gorgeous and stunning and awestriking and every other–#epitome in the world. It's like the only scene I believe turned out better in the anime that it is in the manga which is saying SO MUCH.#But it's really that good!!!!! My favourite anime ss/kk scene ever.#Aaaaaahhh please let me talk about it forever it's sooo pretty and especially poignant...#The heaven-like soft yellow light and how it contrasts with the bleak stormy background. But especially their softening features...#Man that scene. okay. Akutagawa's quiet surprise!!!! That scene is. Idk. Unfortunately chapter 88 exists–#but it's nearly the most romantic thing ever.#I'll leave it at this. It's not like the bsd animation suddenly became a masterpiece and this is still an episode–#I would say I like less than my least liked k/l/k episode (Trigger animation my beloved). But in comparison with the rest of the anime–#It's really bsd anime at its peak#random rambles#Aah peoples btw I'm probably going to spam ss/kk‚‚‚‚ a lot today. Apologies in advance unfollow me now etc. etc.
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thedreadvampy · 8 months
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I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?
like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life
#red said#it's not to my taste. tbh#content aside pop music is going through a very early 2000s breathy oversinging phase#hated it with xtina and alanis hate it with ariana and olivia sorry#it's a personal taste thing but to me however hard you go with the backing track that kind of soft pretty vocal style kind of#drags it back into midtempo sludge for me#also tbh it's just extremely normal music. like i went over to her yt bc people were talking about how Weird vampire is#it's not though????? it's super not????#anyway the only one I've got anything out of is good 4 u cause she sounds more involved and less self-pitying on it#every other Olivia song I've heard sounds kinda the same bc they all have the same earnest self-pity vibe#which is what a lot of people need out of music! music that makes them feel the depth of their anger and sadness!#but idk it's never done it for me i like there to be something of a tongue in cheek or a hysterical edge#i think most of the songs I've heard from her are just too controlled and polished for them to not sound to me#like she's the person who sees you crying cause your partner is in hospital and goes YEAH I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL#MY EX CHEATED ON ME 5 YEARS AGO AND IT REALLY TRAUMATISED ME AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT and then you have to comfort her#like i recognise she's a 20 year old making music for teenagers so that is. appropriate.#but i struggled with the wallowing then too. were i a Teen at school with Olivia's character i would be so desperate to tell GROW UP#and it's not the lyrics it really is the music#heartbreak is a perfectly good theme to write on but oh my god not every song about it needs to be a mouthful call to arms
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the-evil-pizza · 6 months
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I have ocd OFFICIALLY now, stamp of approval from the doctor
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blujayonthewing · 8 months
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I actually cannot believe how fucking powerfully baldur's gate has gripped me
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piplupod · 15 days
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juno thinking they're being stupid for being stressed all the time in certain online spaces and I take a quick scroll stroll through the spaces they inhabit daily and nah man. that shit is fucking insane. people say the boldest bullshit you've ever seen in the most inflammatory aggressive way; no wonder you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown constantly, especially if this is your main source of social interaction holy shit dude how do you deal with that on a daily basis
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jokerownsmysoul · 1 year
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In this house we love Arthur's brown polo shirt. this is a stan account in case you were wondering
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tvrningout · 4 months
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the way i teared up instantly and chiyo wailed from the backseat of my mind
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sysig · 2 months
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Being a villain isn’t all fun and games! Just mostly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Charm compilation <3 It's been a while!#Especially so for some of these - like the first ones!#Some of my very earliest Charm doodles were set to ''Ready as I'll ever be''#A lot happier the first time around admittedly haha ♪ Or more confident and proud and feeling justified perhaps#Charm's villainy has gotten a lot more angsty which is very funny on her cute face hehe <3#She'll cut loose again once she fully gives into it - if you're gonna be evil you might as well make it fun! She'll get there#Yet another WOY style TVAU Charm - I'm gonna get an outfit one of these days I swear!#I've been working on a design breakdown of classic Charm lately actually she's just - agh how did I do it first try??#Accidentally excellent design with lots of stops and places for the eye to rest and a good mix of 3D details and 2D ''textures''#She was designed with the 3D-looks-2D style in mind initially - I have to get back into that mental space somehow agh#Another style that every time I see it out in the wild I'm like ''Oh Charm would look perfect'' lol - y'know the Little People toy line?#Soft plastic with cute chibi proportions! I did talk about the designs as cute palm-sized toys way early on as well haha#Just so fun to imagine holding her like an ice cream cone pfft#Candle ♥ I sometimes forget that candlemaking for Charm is what drawing is for me lol - expression! Delight!#She makes candles based on her interests :D#This one just so happens to be green with red accents - and look the red wick is back! Probably could've gone with a pink one for tongue but#It's fine ♪ A different candle perhaps! Hehe <3#Do aliens exist in the JD universe? I mean it's me so probably but hmmm#Taffyyyy <3 Sweetest sheep best little lad <3#So relaxing to hug ♥#That last one feels so oddly on-model?? Or on-vibe??? I dunno I'm just terribly happy with it hehe#Charm being cute and posed just a little strange in a natural way :D I like it very much!
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heymrspatel · 1 year
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hi. i'm going on vacation on wednesday and won't really be on for a little over a week and i'm having a ✨moment✨ i get really bad anxiety before i travel (hi it's already started) and my brain literally went 'they'll forget you exist lol 😗✌🏼'
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seventh-fantasy · 2 years
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Vegas Theerapanyakul, heir of the minor family.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how the minor family is presented in the image of traditional Chinese mafia / triads - a stark contrast to how the main family appears like a corporation. I couldn’t stop thinking about how that that means they would have emphasised on values of community and loyalty. Although the show doesn’t go far and deep into it in the main narrative, there are clues that this is more than just an aesthetic choice of their living compound and dressing - particularly pertaining to Vegas’ character (and because of course that’s all i care about).
Visually, we see that in their Guan Gong worship (typical deity worship by triads), the locals hanging around at the shophouse front of the manor, and also in the group feasts (I had such a good mini exchange in the tags with @bocje-ce-ustu​ about this that made me want to write this post). This post expounds on this nature of the minor family so much better in detail. *blows kisses to op*
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Since we didn't get to see enough of Vegas papa outside of being VP's plot device, we don’t know a reliable amount about him to determine how his leadership style was like to have us seeing what we saw around the minor family house. Personally I just can’t take Kan’s character in ep 11-13 too seriously. He literally appears to bitchslap Vegas based on the most simplistic *handwaves* reasons and then he was gone - as if you didn’t need to go through the hassle to cross the river to get to the safehouse. (crossing rivers everyday just to bitchslap your son? that’s some commitment) The earlier episodes and ep 14 may be more reliable but it’s still limited.
Nevertheless, how did he raise Vegas as a heir of such a community? I want to think that as much as a piece of shit we saw Kan as for most his screentime, he still had a strong sense of their triad values in his blood, and it gets into Vegas as a person (for better or for worse). At the very least, he was shown seated with the rest of the gang at the table (in the above screenshot). How did such a community raise Vegas as a potential successor in general? What was his and Macau’s childhood like? (I have not read the novel so don’t @ me.)
It’s so interesting to think about those given what a complex guy Vegas turned out to be. (Complex as a character itself but also made even more complex with how the narrative over the episodes had nebulously shaped audience perception of him - like, you can get a different side of Vegas in each episode and have no idea where the fake or real Vegas starts and ends as we saw him. That ended up being a charm of his character.)
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(Vegas + Kan + Macau + minor family community)
I got the impression that it has been pretty much assumed that Macau could also be frequently physically abused by Kan like he does with Vegas, and so Vegas would have to actively protect Macau. But also consider this possibility: Kan just doesn’t hit Macau at all. It’s only Vegas he hits.
Macau simply doesn’t strike me as someone who has to live in constant mortal fear. He’s innocently mischievous and sociable; clearly not as emotionally burdened as Vegas. But he's not naive. He’s aware of Vegas’ plans and whatever politics is going on in his extended family. I just don’t believe that Vegas’ form of protection and care for Macau is to completely hide all the ugly stuff from him like what Porsche did with Chay.
At the same time, Vegas is too much of a pleaser to be opposing his dad all the time for Macau to be consistently safe and stable. Especially considering that we can safely guess that him talking back to his dad at the safehouse in ep 13 was one of the first times he had explicitly stood up to his dad in some way. (a side note: the way Kan responded may seem on-the-nose after a succession of Kan scenes just appearing out of thin air to hit Vegas and galvanise the VP narrative - but it hits a raw nerve like yeap I 100% believe that’s how an Asian parent would respond to such a statement from their kid.)
That’s because Kan’s expectations for Vegas, the eldest son and potential successor, just aren’t the same as for Macau, the younger son.
I can imagine Kan putting all his attention, energy, and pressure on Vegas - not only as his heir but a chess piece in his competition with his older brother and the main family. At a cultural-social level, as an eldest son of a family, like a crown prince, he was fed with expectations that he is the leader of his people - that he will have responsibilities to them and to conduct himself with grace. But at the same time, because of personal and familial reasons, he was also fed the belief that he and his family will forever be inferior to the main family - having anger and bloodlust be seeded and harnessed in him to be used on the main family.
On the other hand, I see more realistically of Kan as a neglectful father to Macau. As a second son, Macau isn’t anything to Kan in business sense and just too young to be useful to him. Thus, we have Kan insisting that Macau is useless (SLANDER) despite Macau having done nothing to offend him. It’s precisely that Kan doesn’t do anything but the bare minimum with Macau and lets him be, that he thinks that Macau had wound up as “useless”. It checks out.
Like what many have pointed out, Vegas surely would have taken up the responsibility of giving the care and love to Macau that they never get from their father. Essentially, Vegas had to fulfill Macau’s emotional needs (to his best) while being actively hurt by his father and strangled by his expectations.
So, imagine Macau as a much younger child having to watch his older brother get beaten or go through corporal punishment (kneeling before the ancestral altar, anyone? wow I’m so original). It’s then Macau who may have been protecting or provides relief to his older brother in some way or another. He knows - largely - what his older brother has to go through, and it is this Macau who probably gets confided and eventually got in the knows of his brother’s schemes.
On this note, it’s probably worth noting that there’s after all a community around them so Vegas may not have had to raise Macau - emotionally and socially - all alone. Of course, these are merely weak ties - given that those underlings are socially inferior to the brothers and they clearly still show deference to Vegas. So what their presence can do to fill the voids of the brothers’ family life is only so limited. The important thing, however, is that the brothers do have a community that surrounds them. A community that has already pledged loyalty to the family. A community that would care and show respect - any inkling of non-hostile social interaction - to their young masters which their own immediate family couldn’t offer. A community that Vegas as a heir would have been drilled into his head since day one that he is obligated to keeping together. This sense of community, as vague as it was, preserved Vegas emotionally somewhere deep down, grounding him to be a person that still has the capacity to care for others - to be human.
This isn’t anything nearly suggested in drama canon, but the many families and street vendors working for them doting on and showing tenderness to the brothers as children is an image I have in my head.
Vegas personally has no problem being respectful and affable with the people who are supposedly lower in status than him. Evident in ep 7 (ep 7 my beloved) from how he interacts with them - addressing them in familiar, polite terms: he even calls the street vendor khun lung - uncle, inclusive of honorifics(!) It’s also in how he entertained Porsche, Pete and Arm like they’re his guests and not his family’s bodyguards. He repeatedly makes sure they’re fed: first he offers moo ping to Pete and Arm then shortly after he asks again whether they’re hungry. These are the kind of manners that are inculcated in a traditional Chinese family, in which you show respect to anyone older than you and make sure your guests are never hungry. Even if he was overdoing this just for Porsche at this moment, it was an act he was willing to put up and in a manner of his choice.
(On this note of Vegas’ manners and politeness, I can never forget how much I love Vegas politely pre-empting Porsche and co. at the beginning of his torture session in ep 7 that they would be uncomfortable. like?? thank you evil man?? that’s so considerate of you)
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(Just realised that there’s even a plate of buns?? On...a gambling table...?? Minor family is serving their guests well.)
It was so intentional of the drama to dedicate time to scenes of Vegas and co. entering the market and through to the minor family manor and office, even when it didn’t necessarily have to - apart from the purpose of illustrating Vegas' character. If the Vegas we saw in early episodes hanging around main family compound was indisputably a pretense as he was in foreign territory, then this Vegas being in his home ground was surrounded by an expectation to see him being supposedly who he really is. Partly due to Porsche being around, we still see the same Vegas - but now with an inkling of the idea that how he acted with Porsche before is also how he acts daily in his own space: He has to pretend. Socially, that is who he is. (See why he and Pete are mirror images of each other). Those moments of going after Porsche wasn’t an exception he was making for Porsche as the prey and his Grand Scheme. All the more, this makes the ending scene of ep 4, the first time we saw him truly all alone, fascinating to watch.
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(Vegas + Porsche)
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I guess tangentially related is...how I found the Soft™ Vegas of ep 13-14 in his interactions with Porsche so fascinating because it does instinctively feel different. Was it just the effect of Pete in the most romance drama cliche fashion or does it adhere to Vegas as a character? Sometimes you have to take the way this show portrays its characters with a pinch of salt because it does take liberties with using them as plot device when it is needed of them. But I’m going to say this side of Vegas is also him. It feels different because it’s the barest we’ve seen of him emotionally yet.
Porsche makes for an ideal litmus test of who Vegas really is because of their past mode of interaction for comparison and also Vegas’ character gets to exist outside of romantic/familial narrative filters in this case. With Porsche no longer being his prey and his newfound attachment to Pete, he had nothing to hide, and now there’s even a reason to bare himself to others.
This is me extrapolating at this point but - when he calls Porsche to warn him of the impending coup - despite not actually being friends, that just  *handwaves* spelt out like an act of 义气 to me. 义气 has apparently been translated as “righteousness” but acknowledged to contain cultural connotations too complicated for the translation to be wholly representative. If I had to describe the connotations according to my understanding of it, it’s an idea of a code of honour and brotherhood - in some ways favours and debt-based. So you commonly see that term associated with triads and secret societies.
At this point, Porsche and Vegas are expressively in a collaborative relationship, they helped each other out on what each other needed the most at that point. Vegas is indebted to Porsche. So, even during a time of crisis, he made sure to help Porsche out one last time based on their short-lived allyship and Porsche’s favour to him. But it was a situation beyond his control, so he pays back what he owed, and that was it. Given his upbringing, it is then no surprise that he has such a strong principle and value in him. Vegas is a villain - yes, even after falling in love with Pete and all - but a villain with a code of honour.
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(Vegas + Kan + Pete)
Vegas has 义 (yi, righteousness) and he has 忠 (zhong, loyalty) too: with his father. Vegas clinging to his father despite the toxicity and destructive nature of their relationship - even if to the point of silliness and *chef’s kiss* pathetic - can perfectly be explained as something innately human. But on top of that, the way and the degree he went for his father’s approval was likely also culturally enforced given the environment he was brought up in.
Back to the Guan Gong, aka god of loyalty, worship at the minor family house. I didn’t get to talk much about this in the post I made about it but it’s definitely worth going into it here about Guan Gong:
Just as important, at the grassroots level of society Guan Yu became a kind of patron saint or protector god for everyone from blacksmiths and opera performers to triads and police officers. (...) Guan Yu’s steadfast, sometimes bullheaded adherence to the principle of zhongyi proved key to his meteoric rise. China’s emperors, who valued loyalty in their subjects, saw Guan Yu’s obedience and respect for his superiors as a value worth propagating. To ordinary people, meanwhile, it was Guan Yu’s yi that made him a legend worth believing in. (...) Guan Yu was capable of acts of cruelty and extreme violence, but his yi manifested as a strict code of behavior and sense of honor, two necessary components of any good folk hero. If anything, the flawed side of Guan Yu’s yi actually enhanced his popularity with regular people — his imperfections only made him seem more relatable. (x)
Sounds familiar.
When you swear loyalty - in the presence of the Guan Gong idol, you swear to give everything you have to the organisation. This loyalty is unquestioning and servile. And that’s the kind of loyalty Vegas has to his father. We know that he pleases his father because he craves for his father’s love and recognition - but why this way? Why is he doing it so willingly? Even by the end of the show he barely showed anger and hatred towards his father. He lashes out at the situations of being let down by his dad, but not at his dad (at least that’s what I think) - because he then goes back home and was 100% ready to go kill some people just because his dad wanted to and he never considered once he could defy that. Perhaps this is why.
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So when Pete prays to Guan Gong - in Vegas’ home, it’s as if unwittingly pledging his loyalty (and obedience) to Vegas - even before he or the audience was supposed know anything that was going to happen. That’s just a coincidence, yes? While I don’t think Pete was doing that because he was thinking about swearing loyalty to the minor family but just a general sentiment of ‘I see a deity figure and I will pay respects to it for general good blessing’, it was indeed in Pete’s nature to do that. Nothing is a coincidence. Once again, they’re mirror images of each other.
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(Vegas + the main family)
The first time we saw Vegas and Korn in the same room was when Macau came running in to the meeting room after getting bashed in his head. But the first time we really saw them interacting was in ep 14 (correct me if I’m wrong though). I love that scene for so many reasons and all of them are because of Vegas and it being the culmination of the family drama in the show (!!!! bounces in excitement)
This face when Vegas realised that his uncle had killed his father and was about to draw his gun at him:
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It just struck me that it was nothing like all the faces he had made before when he was about to torture or kill Kinn/Porsche earlier in the episode too. This is just the face of a boy broken for life, yes?
He draws his gun but he doesn’t shoot right away. Why? What directly got him retreating was not at all Pete telling not to shoot - Pete said that before Vegas drew his gun and was standing away from Vegas’ sight the whole time. It was only right after Korn dismisses his guards and tells Vegas that he will take care of him and Macau, that Vegas stops and leaves.
His uncle just killed his father - maybe it was an inevitable ending he was expecting. But was he expecting his uncle to react so calmly and even extend mercy to his family? I want to know so badly what their relationship was like. How did they interact all along before this? Judging from what we’ve seen of Korn, I’m sure he would have been a respectable and presentable uncle. I’m sure they had family gatherings especially when grandfather (who kidnapped Porsche mama) was still alive.
Hesitating to shoot such an uncle, for a man with a strong sense of loyalty and family? Sounds fair. I would like to think that is the reason of his struggle there since Vegas has no qualms about killing people. Killing people is fine for him but killing his uncle is different. Additionally, I like to think that he was also thinking about Macau’s well-being. If he died here as a murderer of the main family’s leader, what would happen to Macau?
Also bringing us to this one shot in this same scene of Kinn gently shaking his head at Vegas pointing his gun at Kinn’s own dad:
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I’m enthralled. It wasn’t an expression of anger or disgust, it was deep disapproval hand in hand with concern. Or something like that. I don’t know if Vegas saw that but I would like to see his face if he registered that. It just felt like a conscious choice to me that Kinn was shown doing this in the midst of an intense moment between his dad and his cousin. I want to know what was going through his brain.
What I would like to extrapolate from this is that there is ultimately not really any real hostility between them, personally. Just as Korn had (even for secretly manipulative reasons) shown gentleness and mercy as a family member to his nephew who was trying to kill him at that moment, I want to think so that Kinn was raised to react similarly except without the ulterior motives Korn harbours.
Did they get along as kids somehow? How have they always been interacting with each other before Porsche came into the picture? I can’t shut up about how Vegas has always referred to Kinn in affectionate familial terms - as p’rung (idk the correct romanisation), the second brother. (Hits close to home because I also refer to my own cousins on sibling terms). Even when he had been harbouring desires to kill Kinn, they’re still family. The only reason he wanted so badly to kill Kinn is the agony that he can never get away from the fact that his family is beneath his. It’s that they are, unfortunately, family.
I lowkey resent that I don’t really have much to say about Vegas and Kinn’s relationship in relation to the topic of this post. I just love them as each other’s foils - both forced to grow up too soon as crown princes of their families and main protectors of their brothers but each raised by two quite different fathers who are brothers in rivalry + Vegas having a one-sided obsessive rivalry with Kinn which is just too funny. The drama sadly doesn’t give me as much as I would have wished for. But we make do. <3
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That’s all. ✌️
#kinnporsche#vegas theerapanyakul#theerapanyakul family#vegaspete#my posts#and in this house we dont talk about ep 10 vegas except how he was seducing kinn's loved ones left right centre#i have a soft spot for chinese community portrayals in thai media bc they're inevitably teochew in some way and i'm teochew#(not that kp presents anything distinctively teochew. unlike mafia lakorns set in the 60s)#it's a more reliable source of southern chinese rep than cdramas. and also ofc immigrant/seasian chinese culture too#by ep 9 i was saying vegas being the epicentre of the kp narrative was closer to what i wished the show to be#vegas and kinn's narratives are like two shoots off the same branch for me#so ideally kinn's story would also have rocked me the same way vegas does...but you know. yeah#the way you can't tell but I KNOW half of this is like me exporting my hlht brain into vegas.pdf#when i say i started watching kp thru hlht lens i mean it LOOSELY. like i'm actively shaping it in my mind to be a much fuller#character-centric family dysfunction + political intrigue drama that i desire it to be. and i had to borrow ideas from THE exemplar#this isnt even meta it's just me running my mouth off based on the most tangential clues and making sense it thru my own brain#bc i NEED to study vegas in the context of his family#of course in NO way xdq and vegas are the same. but they are a very similar kind of desperate son-heir archetype#both morally grey but INTERESTINGLY. each are on the opposite ends of the moral greyness spectrum#oH- AND THEY BOTH TORTURED THEIR LOVE INTERESTS BEFORE KNOWING/FALLING LMAO#and i had a galaxy brain moment like. i was talking about xrj and his sons the other day. we dont know how he raised xdl#but it was as good as xdq being more like a father figure to xdl than xrj ever was#and it was probably how xdl turned out so well-adjusted unlike his three older brothers!!!! lol#xdq and xdl vs. vegas and macau parallels waaaa-#anywaysss. oh god vegas. what a guy#def the most complex and layered thing this drama has#this was supposed to be a quick post but it turned into a full-length meta that i have been working on for days...wtf
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altruistic-meme · 6 months
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hi! I totally understand if the answer is no but I’m just curious, do you think you will be continuing “(why is there) joy in this poison”? it’s one of my favorite fics, so I’m just wondering if that’s something you’ve decided to abandon or maybe continue
hi darling! sorry this reply is a few days late but i was on vacation :')
i absolutely DO plan on continuing (wit)jitp!!! i am actually working on both chapter 11 and a bonus chapter for it currently :D i know it's been. *cough* a year. since i've updated it but trust me i have been very very aware of the passing time.
alas, life simply decided to hit me over the head with several various hyperfixations and an additional handful of stressful issues (that i am unfortunately still dealing with some of) that meant that most of the time i just didn't have the energy to write at all and the times i did have energy, i was writing for whichever fandom my brain was actively attached to at that moment, which was simply never aftg.
but yeah! YEAH!! (wit)jitp is definitely getting continued. hopefully soon, but that really depends on a handful of factors so i make no promises. but it IS being worked on actively.
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tvrningon · 7 months
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i've talked about it here and there how chiyo is a virgin and how it takes time for her to really grow comfortable in expressing her desires and preferences, and i dunno?? i just feel very soft thinking about chiyo not only wanting someone that much but also trusting someone enough to say, " i've never done this, but i want to do it with you. "
to even admit her inexperience will be stressful enough, especially if she knows or assumes her partner is experienced. there's that anxiety over whether they'll find her attractive, whether she'll be any good at sex, whether or not her virginity makes her unappealing, etc. chiyo won't likely bring sex up to her partner bc she's so nervous -- still eager bc she's very much attracted to them, but incredibly nervous.
but!! she's able to overcome all these anxieties bc her partner makes her feel so comfortable, so safe. whether the topic comes up in casual conversation or in the heat of the moment, chiyo will be able to admit that she has what she considers an embarrassing amount of knowledge but no experience bc her partner has already put in the work to gain her trust completely. and i just think it's very sweet :' )
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juneviews · 1 year
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Any thoughts on the current competition between Japan/Korea/Thailand when it comes to bl.
Seems like Thailand is getting steamier to differentiate themselves. Are the other 2 nations catching up? Should Gmmtv be worried? Can the others compete despite having more conservative cultures?
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't even know there a competition? like sorry but no one is on thailand's level in terms of bl, simply bc thailand is able to capitalize on popular shows & popular ships in a way korea & japan don't. the closest thing japan does is giving shows like ossan's love & cherry magic movie sequels, but that is nothing on the level on insuring longevity of a pairing like thailand does. for kbls, they're popular but don't have any legitimacy in korea & also don't capitalize their fans’ attention besides the series. also thailand has been producing bl series for the longest & has by far the most daring bl series of the 3 countries, while korean bls are only allowed to be mini series with quite simple plots & japanese bls all have the same office or high school setting. sooooo... as much as people wanna claim a competition, thailand has been unmatched so far & I doubt they will stop being so in the next few years, as they have recognized the power of bl on a global scale, and every other country hasn't.
xxx
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niuxita21 · 1 year
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To your new life in Tijuana. Ana, thank you so much. Don’t ever think you can’t do it. You’re ready for anything. Now I do feel ready, and I’m really looking forward to starting this new stage in my life, being independent... You and Regina are gonna be just fine. Come here. And thank you, for letting me go.
#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#the way I rewatched this a couple of times to make this post and ended up fucking WEEPING wtf I must be pmsing#but like said... I'm really sad bro idk#this scene really hit the right note though#the general softness between them all throughout but especially after they hug#I'm obsessed with the shot in the eighth one and the way they don't completely break contact and mariana's little smile#the 'thank you for letting me go' which absolutely DESTROYS ME bruh I can't get over it#because she so obviously doesn't mean it literally as in like 'thank you for giving me permission to go'#she is out there acknowledging that this is hard for ana for the reasons we all know about now#and appreciating the effort she's making nonetheless#and the fact that ana doesn't even reply she just awkwardly nods like 'let's not talk about that'#also how as mariana gets up to leave you can see that it takes them a really long time to completely stop touching#as if subconsciously trying to prolong the contact as much as possible#and THEN#that last shot of ana very obviously in tears UGH :((((#I love how you can see her fighting back tears all throughout the scene#but it is only when mariana has her back turned that she seems to stop trying to hide it#it's a really sad note to end the penultimate episode in but at the same time it's like... TEXTBOOK angsty telenovela shit#I mean one half of the otp has decided to move away for an amazing job opportunity and the other half is heartbroken but has to let them go?#and we have a whole episode to see how it all shakes out?#you know it's the good stuff when even friends used this narrative device lol#as much as it hurts I appreciate the show piling up the angsty otp tropes on an f/f pairing like it's the most normal thing#I mean obviously this will all hinge on the resolution in the next ep but having read the episode description I'm... cautiously optimistic?#I mean if the ending was gonna be 'mariana lives happily ever after with regina in tijuana' then this would have been the last ep#we wouldn't have a whole ass episode to... watch mariana move to tijuana?#who knows but bottom line I'm rly sad so I hope the final episode fixes the giant hole that's starting to form in my heart :(
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