#I've been struggling with whether to release this story

[celestie0]

notes on kickoff ch.7

hellooo if you're here thank you for taking the interest! i just had some creative notes i wanted to get off my chest with the release of ch.7 lol i felt compelled to do so with this one i'm basically journaling here. you can read this after reading ch7 here!

I. on gojo's feelings

as for why didn't gojo just tell reader how he felt at the end of the chapter, and instead only says what he does. i think i rewrote this ending like five different times, he was never supposed to tell her at this point based on my story planning, but i did explore the idea of a dramatic confession here regardless, and it didn't fit for lots of different reasons for one, i think he's finally able to put himself in reader's shoes. it's true he's pretty dense and obviously has commitment issues/valid fears that keep him from opening up, but that still doesn't mean he hasn't hurt reader in a lot of different ways already. he realizes, whether intentionally or not, he's led her on and to do a complete turnaround within a few hours while she's already trying to process rejection as she is clearly withdrawn from him i believed would've been selfish on his part, and could possibly cause even more hurt over the fact that he could come off ingenuine. gojo is finally emotionally aware of her enough to recognize it, but he's not a perfect person so it still slips through that he's distraught at the thought of never seeing her again. in general i'm of the opinion that if someone asks for space, you respect that unless they say otherwise of note, just because he realizes that he has these feelings, doesn't necessary change his fears, as no single moment can undo years of trauma, so i think that's why he bites his tongue too. i'm not keen on making this a "woman fixes man" story but i moreso want to embrace the sentiment that you don't need to resolve every single bad thing that's ever happened to you in order to embrace love or happiness.

II. on gojo's commitment issues

i know it was brought up in the first gojo pov that he has issues committing to just one woman, but i wanted this chapter to reveal that it's really just his fear of opening up to people due to the still raw loss he feels of losing someone he loved. i aim with his pov to be more of a stream of his own consciousness rather than from an omniscient observer, which may explain the ambiguity. he's not sure if he's able to open up to a person in a way he knows is normal and healthy, so he settles on shallow connections instead. just wanted to clear this up, and say that it won't be any sort of plot point in which he struggles to be sincere or faithful when he seriously wants to commit to someone as he has no issues with that if he truly wants to be with them (unlike the whore he's been so far in the series lmao)

III. on strawberry vanilla soda

btw i've never had this flavor of soda i'm not even sure where i came up w it loool or if it even exists. i was kind of toying with the idea of gojo seeing reader's message on the can during the match, and that would maybe help him get more focused on the field (sooo sports romance cliche but i still love it haha) but i settled on him seeing it afterwards to kinda parallel the clumsiness he's had with reader so far. for some reason, the universe just doesn't want him to get his timing right with her lol

IV. on angst/conflict

i know ch7 was a bit differentttt less gojo x reader and more just gojo lmfao, it was also a bit angsty. it definitely won't stay angsty throughout the remaining chapters. this was just gojo's lore drop chapter LOL. there will still obviously be angst here and there, but i've got a lot of fun, cute, tense, silly, passionate, messy scenes still planned similar to ch5&6 because i prefer writing those kinds of scenes haha. ultimately this story was always meant to be a full-circle romance, so ch7 was to lay some of the emotional groundwork that gets brought up as the story builds to its climax

that's all i have to saayyy if you actually read this whole thing i love you?? lol. ch7 really emotionally resonated with me as i wrote it, both as someone who understands how gojo feels but also as someone who understands how reader feels, and if it resonated with you too then that makes me very happy and that's ultimately every writer's dream haha. was very cathartic to share these thoughts. i hope to see you in the next oneeee <3 have a wonderful rest of your day!

[grison-in-space]

Reading Men Who Hate Women (Laura Bates, 2020) at the moment. She's talking about the manosphere: the massive online communities of men who congregate to talk misogyny, ranging from PUAs to MRAs, incels and MGTOW. These aren't new topics to me—I've been following this off and on since watching Gamergate kick off—but Bates handles them well and I think this book could serve as an introduction if this is a movement with which you're not familar. By the way, it's been a decade since Gamergate this year. Isn't that a kicker?

(Incidentally, I first ran into the concept of incels way before I think many people did: when I was still on AVEN, c. 2006-2007ish, I remember a few occasions where users ran into incel communities and brought them to our forums to ask: is this like what we're doing? Is this like us? Consensus quickly solidified on the direction of "no," each time, not least because asexuality dialog at the time was extremely clear about divorcing desire from action, and it was very clear that the desires centered in that community were very different than the ones people in asexuality spaces were untangling.)

Bates handles the topic with grace, compassion, and a deep understanding that I really wish more writing on radicalization or terroristic networks used: people in real pain, who are struggling in pitiable circumstances to do their best and clearly need more support, can also in their pain be truly dangerous to others. Hurt people hurt people. Compassion for pain suffered is important—you can't understand recruitment without understanding that—but you also have to understand that pain, fermented in darkness, can create deadly poisons. Pain isn't essentially holy or cleansing or cauterizing. It doesn't accomplish anything good by existing. If we can relieve it, we should—but we should follow harm reduction principles as we do so, lest pain be allowed to multiply and fester.

What gets me is that in 2017, in the wake of the Google bro "manifesto," I spent a feverish week writing what wound up being a 20,000 word rebuttal studded with what eventually totaled 100+ peer reviewed citations. It got quite a bit of reach and covered ground ranging from effects of testosterone on behavior, the concept of effect size in sex differences, basic statistics, the ways that humans treat people differently based on their perception of gender, intersex trauma, and whether feminists care about men's problems (yeah, actually, and they should).

I released that piece, changed up my name and fannish presence—my long time pseud was tangled all over the piece's genesis—and hunkered down for the reprisals. I expected harassment and vitriol. It never really came: I ignored the comments on the post, after a bit, and I held boundaries on what I was willing to pay attention to. But by and large, I had no direct consequences from the Manosphere.

Perhaps the piece was too long (although I got many comments from people who read it and found it useful, and I included an index). Perhaps it was simply that I included a headshot of myself, with uncharacteristic red lipstick and characteristically buzzed hair, and cheerfully discussed throughout that I was butch and queer: sometimes I confuse people who are very focused on bioessentialist sex differences, because I don't fit their paradigms in the slightest.

About six months later, James Damore attempted to frame his incredibly poor decisions in light of his Asperger's, and I did get a couple dudes on social media presenting me with this information apparently in the hope that it would shock or embarrass me. I immediately pointed out, acerbically, that I'm equally autistic and that he was making us look bad, and they melted away again into the background. It wasn't really the well of terrifying anger and obliterative fury I was expecting.

I find myself reading these stories in Bates' book and thinking about the internet I grew up on: AVEN by 2005, WrongPlanet the same year, listening to people on the margins talk about their fears and hopes and dreams and theories about themselves. I find myself thinking about narratives and meaning, the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and why.

I'm certainly not the first person to worry about radicalization of young autistic people, especially autistic men. Not even close. Paradoxically, it's a group of people for whom an understanding of intersectionality is crucial: young disabled men often alienated deliberately from conceptualizing themselves as disabled, without the tools to understand why life is hard and painful and never seems to reflect their experiences, trying to construct understanding beyond one's singular, isolated defective wrongness—which is what's left, if you take community off the table.

(Have I mentioned how grateful I am that so many autistics are trans spectrum? Imagine if we weren't, and if I didn't have so many transfeminine sisters funneled along those same currents and drifting closely enough alongside to understand. My sisters, so many of whom are out there living and modeling better ways to understand and participate in gender as a social activity: by figuring out what is most comfortable for you, understanding that comfort for one might be agony for another, and taking steps to shape your own life into a fashion that wells forth the most peace and joy. It's a message we all need to hear, but that is a group of people I hear singing so loudly from my place in a different wing of the choir, and I love them for it.)

I don't have answers. As is, so often, the case these days, I have only grief and love, and the determination to build better structures where my own hands reach. I had intended to direct my career, once, to undermining the entire concept of "good genes" models of evolution and explaining how their convoluted connections to natural phenomena are better explained by other, more direct motives. Since 2020, I've been moving in a new direction—but what precisely it is, I'm not sure.

Sex differences is certainly a piece of it, though. Even if I find myself often enough writing that it's not enough to know a sex difference in one species to assume that another will reflect a similar relationship: we should study sex differences in animals, but we really shouldn't assume that humans will have the same ones or work the same way. I suspect this won't be the first time I tangle with that community. I suppose it depends how much authority I can accrue as protection first.

[yurimother]

An Update on YuriMother

As I'm sure many of you have noticed, there has been a distinct lack of my regular news coverage and articles as of late. I recently moved and started working at a new school (for those who do not know, teaching is my day job). While I love this job, it has considerably taxed my time and energy, which compounded with my strained focus and dedication that was already affecting the volume of my content, resulting in the near month-long silence.

However, I hope to recommit myself to YuriMother, as nothing in my life brings me more joy than my work with Yuri, and I want to continue celebrating the genre as I have for the past 11 years. This means resuming coverage of Yuri news stories, conducting more research, writing more reviews and articles, filming videos for TikTok, and working towards some of my personal larger goals for YuriMother.

Rather than going back and trying to cover everything I have missed over the past month, I am posting an article with a quick roundup of many major Yuri manga and light novel releases. The rest of the news slate is planned out for the week with, of course, room for any new stories that break. Additionally, I have several articles of varying scope, both for the main YuriMother website and for the Patreon exclusive "Secret Garden" line, at different stages of conceptualization and research. I look forward to drafting and editing these soon. Some are pieces that have floated around my head for over a year, and the prospect of finally putting them to page for you all to enjoy and learn from delights me.

I also created a poll on Patreon for members and the public, whether they subscribe to me or not, to decide the subject of my next review. Perhaps more than anything, I am thrilled by the prospect of actually reading Yuri again, as I practically have not consumed anything since I spent the majority of July burning through over a hundred webcomics and several times that amount in dollars because forget those free period wait times, I've got lesbians to fangirl over, for the 2023 Yuri Guide. There are so many incredible new titles and returning series sitting on my bookshelf, or more accurately, sitting in or on top of moving boxes next to my as-of-yet unassembled bookshelf, that I am thrilled to share with you.

Lastly, I want to thank you all for your continued support and patience with me during this time. I know many of you back me, and my work with your hard-earned money,  a fact which persistently baffles and humbles me, and I acknowledge that I have not always lived up to my end of that relationship.

I cannot promise that I will be perfect or that there will not be times when I struggle to deliver YuriMother content, but I can at least assure you that I will try my best every day and once again express my enormous gratitude to all of you. Thank you, everyone, especially my wonderful Patrons, for your engagement, kindness, support, and love of Yuri.

Sincerely,

Nicki Bauman The Holy Mother of Yuri

As always, if you can, consider joining the YuriMother on Patreon. Patrons can check out news, reviews, and articles early, get access to exclusive content like "The Secret Garden" an series of essays all about Yuri , and help support me and my work celebrating Yuri anime and magna.

[ingravinoveritas]

DAVID TENNANT USING THEY/THEM PRONOUNS??! Georgia’s story showing David at the theater and used their pronouns for them. If this is true and they really do use those pronouns, I really hope Georgia showed and made sure it was okay for her to post and out them. I really hope that if this is true, they are okay and felt safe enough to be posted and shared online about this

Oh, my. Well, I did indeed see Georgia's Insta story the other day, but for those who didn't, here it is:

The reaction that I've seen to this has been intense, which is not surprising. I also don't think it would be at all surprising if David actually does identify as nonbinary, as since his appearance on the Reasons to be Cheerful podcast, I've written on my blog here and here about how David's increasingly vocal advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community (especially nonbinary/trans folks) could be as much on his own behalf as it is for Wilf. It's often the case where someone may not feel able to confront the struggles or questions they've had about themselves until they are living it through their child's eyes, and feel a sense of urgency to make the world better for their child, as well as for the child they once were.

It is also entirely possible that Georgia just used "their" as a neutral term, without meaning it as a specific statement on David's gender identity. What is interesting to me, however, is that the casual use of "their" was exactly how she began to allude to Wilf being nonbinary. I also tend to think that Georgia is very deliberate with what she posts on social media and does not post anything "accidentally" or haphazardly. That being said, it is ultimately David's decision as to whether or not to share something so personal, and I concur with you @phantomstars24 in hoping that Georgia made sure it was okay for her to post that (if that is indeed the case).

The other thing I want to mention that makes this especially peculiar is that, as Anon #2 mentioned, Ty Tennant does seem to have deleted his main Instagram account, just days before GO 2 was released. Given that he has a (small) role in episode 2, one would think that he'd want to be able to promote that on social media. So the timing of all of this (Ty deleting his Insta, and now Georgia's story using "their") is what I am questioning, as if an announcement (of some sort) about David is forthcoming, it could be that Ty deleted to avoid being bombarded with questions/comments from fans about it. Again, pure speculation here, but it does make you wonder.

Whatever the case may be--whether David is nonbinary or not--I wish him nothing but happiness, and the joy of feeling fully comfortable with who he is. It's a difficult and frightening time for queer folks, so if he is contemplating this, I hope it will happen on his terms, when he feels safe and ready to be open.

[purgemarchlockdown]

On Narratives, Victim Dichotomies and Amane’s Voting

(Also Known as: I'm sick of not being opinionated on my blog about opinions, lets talk about narratives)

(CW: Child Abuse, Cults, Child Death)

(Disclaimer: As I can imagine there’s probably going to be a lot of people reacting defensively to this so what I'm stating Right Now is that I Do Not Believe that most people voting Amane Guilty is doing it because they believe her abuse was justified. This is not, at all, designed to be an accusatory post.)

So a few days ago I read the “MILGRAM” x “Clock over ORQUESTA” interview which you can read right here.

It’s a really interesting interview and I recommend reading the whole thing but the one that caught my attention was this part.

Yamanaka: That's a difficult question... I'm always conscious of emotional control in my work, but in “MILGRAM”, the content has more live feeling to it. So the story progresses realistically based on the presence of the audience. I think I used a different brain than I have been using to create works up until now, I see it as necessary to think very three-dimensionally. I'm currently trying to turn the audience into characters in my work.

This was really interesting to read and made me immediately think of Amane’s voting.

So Amane’s voting situation is currently trending downwards, even with the initial boost from Double she's been going down slowly recently. This is in stark contrast to the large amount of innocent votes she originally got when Purge March released the first time.

Now the reason I connected the two is that I've noted a narrative being formed between the audience and Amane, specifically, an abuse narrative.

The Text

Let's take a step back to the T1 voting landscape, one that I was admittedly was not apart but I do however know what happened. Amane was voted guilty to make her better and to help her realize that the cult was bad and hurting her. Jackalope acknowledges this intent in the T2 and is dismissive about that idea.

Jackalope: It doesn’t matter whether it’s a child or whatever, when you commit a crime… what? Jackalope: ...Why are you making that face? Jackalope: Are you thinking “I want her to realize her sins" Jackalope: No no, no way…

This verdict comes right after Es Restraining her in the T1 VD. Something Physically Violent that causes her an intense amount of Distress. You can hear her struggle during it, with her breathing heavily and her tone of voice becoming panicked and scared.

In this part she's even surprised that Es would be violent like this.

(Translation)

Amane: What is it? Are you resorting to violence?

Now most people in general would become panicked and scared when restrained. But considering Amane most likely has Experience in being restrained to be harmed, something that we have evidence for in Magic due to the punishment sequences. There is a good chance that Amane was Triggered during this moment.

Amane is in a noticeably worse mood after this, wanting to start a fight with Mikoto.

21/04/16 

Amane: ………… Mikoto: Oh, welcome back Amane! ……what’s with the grim face? Ah, right, the guard summoned you! How was it? Did you cry? I bet you were so scared you cried, right!? Amane: ……alright then. If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ll get. Mikoto: Huh? Oooi! Hey, are you listening?? Ooooi!

Now this is a T1 Amane, and no matter how blunt or even "bratty" T1 Amane could get, she is never outright aggressive except for this moment. Even when she feels threatened and patronized by Shidou she doesn't react with aggression but frustration, first trying to explain to him why it feels bad when he does that and when he ignores that, saying she'll find someone else to teach her.

Plus, due to information from T2 we can assume aggression is not approved of in her cult. This is the only moment in T1 we see her be outright aggressive towards someone. Right after being physically restrained by Es, and Mikoto antagonizing her by invalidating her feelings.

When Amane got that guilty verdict she was confirmed something, that Es was Willing and Able to Physically Hurt Her. When the restraints from the T2 Guilty Verdict came it also meant that Es and the other prisoners who were innocent are in a position to harm her with her being unable to fight back.

Not only that but the ideal we were denying when that verdict came down was not her cult...it's her "sin" that sin being her Will To Live.

It's easy to believe that what we deny in T1 and T2 is her cult, that's the most obvious thing after all and that's what Amane brings up in her T1 VD.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

And to some extent we are denying her cult by giving her this verdict! However, that isn't the main thing Amane is asking us.

In the T1 VD the main thing Amane is concerned about is the concept of "free will" and how "seriously" her feelings are being taken.

A: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will? Does Muu-san, at age 16, have more of a free will than I do? Does Yuno-san, at age 18, have more of a free will? Does Fuuta-san, at age 20, have an entirely free will?

If we're breaking this down to the basic concept, this is the question Amane is asking us.

"Do my wants and feelings matter even if I'm a child?"

Magic gives us one response to this. No.

Magic treats Amane's pain as "comedic." With Amane being portrayed as childish for reacting so negatively to it. Her wants and feelings Don't Matter. It isn't a big deal. Why are you being so sensitive about it? We're just trying to help you.

This is important to consider when it comes to the questions Amane asks her god, and the Audience.

Dear wise one, Is this ok? Is it ok to be weak sometimes? I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah! I won’t say “I’ve had enough” Will you laugh with me and forgive me?I take an oath! I can only become a better girl!

Is it alright to be weak? Can you forgive me for being weak? Is it alright that I Did This?

Amane never stops singing this, and she never declares herself a "good girl" In Magic and not only that, she rejects the Idea She Could Be One in the Fist Place.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile Forever, forever together would be a dream

"Only if" a condition, the requirement being Amane be good. And yet she's treating it like a dream, something unachievable and unreachable.

Now where did I get "will to live" from? It's not something super noticeable in Magic but if we go to the interrogations...

T1 Q12: What is the meaning of life? A: I think it is something you learn for the first time when you look behind yourself when it ends. I do not want to have regrets then, so I live on with all my might.

There it is!

As we know, Amane was been waterboarded

beaten

sleep deprived

electrocuted.

And also has No Medicine or Vaccinations, and is possibly malnourished since her vegetarian diet might not be Planned Properly and thus can't provide her with the nutrients she needs (though that's speculation on my part.)

She most likely has a weak immune system due to the amount of Stress she's been under for most of her life, and lack of sleep can also weaken your immune system. Not to mention she isn't immunized against diseases...like the flu. Which Can Kill You, especially if you have a comprised immune system and No Vaccines.

Not only that, waterboarding, physical beatings and electrocution aren't exactly things your body is designed to survive, especially with no Medical Care. Waterboarding can kill since it's Simulating Drowning and if there's no oxygen in the lungs you Suffocate, Beating...beats you, electrocution sends electricity Through Your Body, and even if the voltage is Low it can and has Killed People.

These are all very dangerous things to go through, especially without any sort of medical care. So when Amane says that, she says that with the knowledge that she could have died, many, many ways, and many, many times.

These we're all done to "save her" to" purify her sinful soul" and Amane has gone on record to describe this as "Love"

T2 Q2: Do you believe you were loved? A: Very much deeply.

And has also gone on to define love as "mercy"

T2 Q9: What does love mean to you? A: To spread mercy with no limits.

To spread mercy with no limits...like being a child perhaps? Even if your a child, you can be granted "mercy" and "salvation?"

(Jackalope: It doesn’t matter whether it’s a child or whatever, when you commit a crime… what?)

These actions were done to "help her" and would have Killed her.

Now, we didn't know about Amane's mother in T1 and admittedly there was not much evidence of her being the victim before T2. However we Do have evidence it was life or death...because Amane was horrifically punished before committing the crime in ways that could have actually killed.

The implication here is clear. If Amane doesn't Do Something she is going to die. It's not a question of If, it's a question of When.

When she asks god if its okay to be weak, when she asks the Audience if its okay to be weak. She is asking if it was alright to Choose Herself over "What is Right." And we said No.

The Audience

Now, you might be feeling some dread now. I am at least and I'm writing this damn thing. The intention of the T1 Guilty Verdict was to "help her" and yet through that it has repeated a pattern of abuse. In our actions we have punished her so she can "learn" and pushed her closer towards a possible death (the death penalty.)

So when T2 Amane rolls around she's aggressive, unwilling to listen, has doubled down on methods of self-punishment and her cult's world view, is physically restrained and presumably punished in other ways, hears voices telling her she's wrong, and is Self Isolating.

This is Really Bad. We've put her in a state that resembles how she acted in her abusive environment, and it is Our Fault. Let's not weasel our way out of this, this entire series is built on that idea that the actions of the audience have consequences.

As Barfsunny even pointed out, The T2 Amane Cover art resembles the scene in Magic where she "punishes her Mother."

And since she's facing the Audience, we are being put in the Role of Her Mother.

The same person who did this to her:

We are, to her, reminiscent of her abusers.

If we go back to how Amane reacts to Threats, she is notably only aggressive when she's being Threatened and Cornered.

We can see this with Es and how they restrain and have authority over her. We can see this when Mikoto antagonizes her and her feelings, we can see this in Shidou when he patronizes and invalidates her feelings.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

And we can see this in the Audience in how we voted her guilty and decided that she should Be Hurt.

Now that we've established our connection to her abusers...let's talk about that Dichotomy I mentioned in the title and how Purge March (and Milgram as a whole) purposefully plays into it.

Victim Dichotomies.

So what do I mean by this? Well it's very common in fiction and audience reactions to categorizes victims as either "good" or "bad." With good victims often being appealing, pitiful and a naturally "good person", while bad victims are aggressive, unappealing and tend to do "Bad Things."

Now these are subjective terms, since...morality is subjective. But it is a trend in both fiction and fan spaces to categorize victims using a sense of what's morally justifiable or not. I was in the Steven Universe Fandom, that was/is a Thing There.

Now, let be clear here, there are absolutely destructive, harmful, maladaptive, ways of coping with trauma. However Moral Catagorization of it is neither productive nor constructive, it just makes it easier to demonize people for not "handling" their trauma properly.

This is relevant to Amane because she is repeatedly portrayed as "scary" in her MV.

Look at the use of lighting and framing, the camera being positioned slightly lower to make the audience feel smaller, a constant shadow on the band members faces that makes them feel...well...cast in shadow. The bright light of the eyes feeling inhuman and unnatural, the dark lighting of the room feeling ominous. With a white figure standing in front of a dead body.

This is what you do when your trying to portray something as "scary" or even "evil."

Amane: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven. Amane: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

Running away from pain, Amane? Stealing away people's trails for them, Amane? Like choosing to save yourself from being punished again? Like choosing to help a cat?

Not only that but the lyrics of Purge March is this:

The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too

This is undeniably a revenge song. This is Amane Momose's Revenge Song. Her fantasies about being able to be the one punishing this time and not having to be in pain again are at full front here. She Wants to hurt her mother.

You are supposed to be Scared of Amane Momose. This is the Expected Audience Reaction.

Shidou is brought up in her VD, both for foreshadowing purposes and to make you Anxious. Amane wants to hurt Shidou, Amane wants to hurt Shidou. A constant reminder of the possible consequences of Letting Her Go Unpunished. If you don't punish her Now she could hurt someone Later.

Once again, we are being put in the position of her abuser. Only this time there really is a few things at stake.

Though I will like to mention, most likely the only reason why Amane was able to kill her mother in the first place is because she had two weapons, the umbrella and the taser.

Something that was brought to my attention by deerlydreaming is that you can actually hear the Buzzing and crackling of the taser throughout Purge March. Most notably it becomes A Constant Part of the Instrumental at the end. That Taser is most likely what Amane used to prevent her mother from escaping her before continuing to murder her. This makes sense because Amane is probably physically weak and twelve years old.

And while Amane Can catch Shidou off-guard. Shidou not only wants to live because he needs to Help People, the rest of the prisoners are aware of her hostile intentions towards him. He is not Safe by any means, and Mahiru is still being threatened, but he is Not In As Much Danger as you might think at first.

And, Notably, characters like Yuno and Fuuta, who are involved in the medicine, are treated patiently by Amane. Even if she's a bit rude or unwilling to talk, Amane is willing to answer their questions and give them advice. This is not Just About the medicine.

I mentioned that Shidou makes Amane feel threatened already, but the anxiety from Mahiru is probably because she and Shidou parallel her parents. I talk about it a bit more over here but the jist is not only does Mahiru have notable lyrical parallels with Amane and similarities in world view (Love = Pain.) Mahiru has also asked Amane about her parents.

20/07/06

Amane: You want to know about my family……? My father is a truly wonderful person. He’s honest, values fairness and justice above all else, and will work himself to the bone for other people’s sake……. Why do you want to know? Mahiru: Oh, I was just wondering what sort of parents you must have for them to have raised such a good child like you. Fufu, I’ll keep it in mind for the future when I raise my own family. Amane: I see. If it will be of use to you, I’ll tell you more. It’s still a long way off for me, but for someone your age the prospect of finding a partner and having a family must be feeling a lot more real. Now that I think about it, I recall my mother was around your age when she gave birth to me……

Mahiru is both around the age her mother gave birth to Amane And thinks of her as a good child and wants to use them as examples for how to raise "good children."

This is why Amane wants her dead but also wants her to be apart of her family, she's less condescending and hurtful so Amane has some positive feelings towards her but she still reminds her of someone that Hurt Her, badly. Muddying it a bit.

My overall point though is, Amane plays into the good victim/bad victim dichotomy. She's a bad victim, a bad kid, not good enough. She's scary and bad and childish. She's not an "ideal" victim.

This connects back into her cat imagery. Where Amane is portrayed as the Cat.

(Purge March Cat having Different Injuries gets to me)

Let's all note that the bow and medal are two consistent parts of her costuming and they are her collar, and that she also has a collar in her prison uniform.

The cat is repeatedly conflated with sin and impurity, both here and in other instances of the cat. There's another cat in Magic and that cat is Collared, implying that cats Need to be collared or else they'll do something "bad" unlike all the other animals who can walk without them.

Cats need to be Restrained and Domesticated.

Or else they will do "sinful actions."

(Don't we all love the dehumanization of the vulnerable? Im personally fond of it, please let her become an actual monster in T3 Milgram Im begging you-)

This isn't the first time Milgram has done this! They did this with both Haruka and Muu!

Haruka is portrayed notably creepier in AKAA than Weakness. While Muu is portrayed so pitiful in After Pain and then In It's Not My Fault...well...

I told you I’m queen, and it’s always the same God gave me everything, everything is as I wish

(Using MV translation for the sake of clarity)

And again, not to say these behaviors aren't destructive, harmful and maladapative. I'd for one say Muu is Very self-destructive in her behavior and shoots good things for herself in the foot. But the point is that these characters Also play with the concept of being a "good victim" and a "bad victim."

And of course, if your not good enough, you will be punished.

Conclusion

I'd say something about voting here but I think its really obvious what I want people to vote Amane as. But more importantly I think its important to consider what narrative the story is trying to tell. What is trying to make you Feel and Why. There is a meta-commentary here about the way society treats vulnerable people. Especially ones who are considered "unappealing." It's...remarkably easier, to punish someone that's been hurt once it's been decided they aren't "good" enough. And I think that's important to consider when voting.

[thecourtsknight]

So. Side Order, huh?

I've been chewing on my thoughts over this for a good few days now. Want to spit them out somewhere. Vague-ish spoilers ahead.

I want to preface this with saying that I love Splatoon, I've been playing it since 1, really dropped off near the end of 2. Nintendo made Octo Expansion for me, they released it on my birthday and I love it so fucking much.

Side Order is fun, but lacking criminally in content.

You can argue Roguelites are like this in general, its the core princible to replay them over and over again and as someone who enjoys Roguelites, I agree!

However, a key thing that good roguelites do is continously give you a reason to keep playing- whether that be addictive gameplay or, usually, good story and lacing that in with difficulty that becomes the players goal to lessen- It rewards the player for being curious, experimental and above all else persistant.

I am fully aware that difficulty, due to Splatoon's target audience, in something like a roguelite was never going to be an easy thing to balance let alone pull off but having the main plot resolve itself once you hit the top of the tower was, in my opinion, the first of its blunders.

I feel as if the Splatoon developers know how much the lore and worldbuilding of these games matter to players. Side Order was advertised in very similar veins to Octo Expansion. The trailers had mystery and intrigue with clear connections to the well recieved and loved Octo Expansion to the point of having the same protagonist among other simularities.

They were clearly teasing this to be a successor of SOME capacity to Octo Expansion. And even as I went into this expecting it to be nothing like OE in terms of it's personal weight, I wasn't expecting something so short.

Classically, in roguelites that focus on story, you would gain story beats the more you replay. And techincally you gain this with the keys gathered from each fully cleared palette. But usually your story rewards in roguelites come from clearing or attempting runs and rewards:

With Side Order's story being resolved the MOMENT you step onto floor 30 with no real context unless you've intentionally avoided the top or have genuinely been slowed by its difficult (which I assume is what the devs intended) makes it's climax feel fast paced and lackluster- undeserved, even.

And, yes, I am fully aware that when you climb the tower agani after the credits role, you begin gain more lore about whats going on. But with the actual, main threat neutralized in every possible way it feels as if this lore should've been offered to us much sooner and much more spread out for a better pay off.

It's story feels like its being told out of order and, in my personal opinion, the themes and actual telling methods of Side Order we're a largely missed opportunity to tell something a bit more indepth. Climbing a tower that gives you essentially nothing until you reach floor 30 (which in my experience takes about 35-40 minutes) only to recieve about two scentences of lore is incredibly tiring and feels dissastifying when the main plot is already over.

It's lack of variation in level design, tasks and chips doesn't help with the climb each time if you're looking for the lore or just to 100% either. And you can argue this is a roguelite problem, but Splatoon's scenario's for a tower climb are pitifully small and you will start to seem repeat almost immediatly on your second or third run.

I also feel like it relies far too heavily on the player knowing and caring about Octo Expansion. I'm not saying that I think it was a bad idea to have most of what's going on in Side Order happening because of Octo Expansion's events. Hell, I was happy when they were very blatently showing this early on.

But it does very little with its ties to Octo Expansion, making Side Order feel like its constantly struggling to be its own thing away from the original DLC.

I think I can almost see what they wanted to go for here, and its frustrating, it felt close to something at least telling a decent story.

Every single little beat I've gotten has helped me understand more and more what they were going for, but since the main conflict is already resolved I find it hard to be excited and more frustrated that I wasn't given these during my initial playthrough.

I feel as though the roguelite formula was an interesting idea that they polished the best of their ability and to make work both for casual and experience players- but I think thats where the problem comes in.

With Side Order being the same price as Octo Expansion and offering very little in terms of replayability and most especially for me, story, the whole thing ends up feeling like a muddled mess that would've worked better had the roguelite aspect perhaps been dropped in general for a general tower climb.

Missed opportunies feel like they decorate Side Order in a way that leaves me fairly disappointed.

I think, overall, Side Order is a fun time that can be enjoyed but the way it was implimented into the gameplay formula was largely a mistake, especially coupled with the marketing of this being something more indepth with its story when it's not, and I can absolutely understand why I'm seeing a lot of disappointment for it.

[ritunn]

Fabula Ultima: High Fantasy Atlas Review

Emmy award winning TTJRPG, Fabula Ultima, just released its first sourcebook in English! The High Fantasy Atlas is already a best Electrum seller on DriveThruRPG and at the time of writing, the best selling book on the platform this week... all within one day! But, if that hasn't convinced you, let me offer you my review.

What do you get in the High Fantasy Atlas? Well you'll find the following:

Chapter 1 - Introduction: This section covers how the pillars of JRPGs work in High Fantasy games and offers more details and examples on how to implement them. Very useful for session 0 world design.

Chapter 2 - The World: This introduces 10 sample high fantasy locations you're likely to explore in a high fantasy world of Fabula Ultima game along with advice for creating new Arcanum for the Arcanist class, details concerning the creation of gods and demons, how the Stream of Souls functions, and info on tech and magic. The latter part of the chapter has new rare item rewards and artifacts you can give players!

Chapter 3 - Protagonists: This chapter includes sample PC ideas with info on them along with the new custom weapon, quirk, and zero power optional rules. The latter part of the chapter includes 4 new classes, the chanter, commander, dancer, and symbolist, along with heroic skills for classes new and old.

Chapter 4 - Antagonists: The first part of this chapter explores how to use antagonists in High Fantasy games while the latter half offers 5 villains from levels 10 - 60 you can use in your game or as a jumping off point to make your own!

Overall, 200 pages of content useful for not just High Fantasy games, but any really! Let's go over some of my favorite bits in each chapter.

Chapter 1: Introduction

This chapter, though the shortest, is incredibly helpful. Having examples and additional explanation for how to implement the pillars is useful for groups, especially those coming from systems like D&D and Pathfinder who might not be used to having such power to shape the world. Otherwise, it offers a solid introduction to the genre as well.

Chapter 2: The World

By far the longest chapter, there's a few notable things that aid immensely, but let us begin with how the sample locations work.

Each of the 10 locations starts off like this with an intro and an "at a glance" sidebar. This really helps you conceptualize what the area is supposed to invoke feelings wise and offers you nice reference for travel rolls and what kind of enemies and discoveries you may find here. I highly recommend doing this for locations in general your group makes, it helps a ton.

After this, each location has some example quests and questions to ask your players to flesh out this area and areas like it. Perfect for giving others the ability to add their own flair to the area and to get them started with playing when they enter the area. These story hooks also often have a villain described with tactics they use and any relevant clocks, but they have no stat blocks, so you can make them to fit with your group's playstyle for combats.

Afterward is a section on how to run conflicts and make them memorable, helpful if that is something you've been struggling with. It also has some nice ideas regarding how to run fights against armies, which is certain to come up here and there in games.

Lastly, we explore the magic and tech of High Fantasy. The advice for making new Arcanum, whether for world building themes or for the Revelation heroic skill, is greatly appreciated as it's one of the hardest things to balance and get right without a good understanding of the game. Advice on how the afterlife and Stream of Souls works thematically in your game is also useful and it offers some nice plot hooks you can use with the ideas presented I've put into practice even before the release of the Atlas to great effect. Lastly, the section on technology is short but appreciated, exploring how it differs from a Techno Fantasy game.

The new rare items are mostly geared towards enhancing specific skills for classes rather than general use, but it's handy for figuring out how to price similar items focused on certain skills when making your own. The new artifacts are also grandiose and powerful additions to any game, magnificent rewards if your party can acquire them. My favorite is a book that contains all knowledge up to the present moment in time, but was sealed away in the far reaches of space... supposedly.

Chapter 3: Protagonists

The main course! This has the 4 new classes and a bunch of optional rules we saw in the playtest. But, first I want to take a look at the sample PCs.

Each of the 10 sample PCs has a profile like such. It covers the usual Identity, Theme, and Origin, along with a Quirk and signature weapon. Quirks are a new rule that work as backgrounds, but suped up with powerful game changing and character altering effects ranging from gaining some spells to being able to choose to make costs for a spell or Ritual free at the cost of eventually summoning a supreme villain... that will come eventually whether you like it or not. Ones like those typically give you a free heroic skill when the big event comes and you lose the quirk. Preparing you to face a new horizon or final foe.

Back to Raisa however. As we can see here, it has info on her backstory, classes, what she gets to decide about world building wise, and how they'll grow in their own character arc. Useful for someone who wants to jump right in with a somewhat premade character, but even more useful for showing your players what you need to know about their characters if you're a GM. This should also help direct and inspire players during world creation. Which I greatly appreciate. Now, for the new optional rules (besides quirks).

Custom weapons are pretty simple. They're essentially weapons you design mechanically as a player. They're always two-handed, cost 300 - 400 zenit, can be any weapon type you want along with being melee or ranged, and deals [HR + 5] physical damage with a [DEX] + [INS/MIG] accuracy check depending on what you choose. You can then pick a few traits, like Powerful for extra damage, Defense Boost for extra armor and to make it count as a shield, or Transforming to let it switch between two different modes. Depending on what traits you pick, it may also become martial. This rule can be used by anyone who wants to use it without fuss unlike quirks and zero powers, as it adds no extra power and is fairly balanced. Some people could play with custom weapons, some without. But, it allows for you to add a lot of style to your character if you choose to do so.

Lastly, zero powers are a mechanic I've been using for half a year from the playtest and it's loads of fun! Want a limit break or perhaps combo attack in vein of Tales of Arise? Zero powers have you covered. When using this rule, you gain a 6 point clock that fills whenever taking damage, spending a Fabula Point to invoke a trait or bond, or via special Zero Trigger you pick when making your power. Then you pick an effect to go with the trigger you can unleash with an action when the clock is full, like Zero Limits which boosts all your stats by 1 die size or Zero Triangle to allow you and 2 allies to make a free attack with a +5 bonus to accuracy. Zero Powers are loads of fun and you can even allow for players to charge them up together for combo attacks with a variant rule for 4 or less player parties.

Welcome to the show! The Chanter is your premier bard. Chanter's main skill is Magichant, which allows them to sing or play songs you compose yourself by picking a volume (to determine number of targets), key (to determine damage types, attribute, status effect, HP/MP), and tone (to determine the effect with info filled in by your key). It's an amazing support class with high MP usage, but they can easily target enemy Vulnerabilities or act as a debuffer too to tear their foes apart. Their other skills allow them to perform hearing-based illusion Rituals, increase damage or regain MP when enemies are hit, give damage reduction to themselves, or get a free attack with low and medium volume magichants.

Being a chess master is the name of the game with Commander. Gaining access to martial weapons of all types, the Commander has skills focused on creating conflict scene wide buffs and debuffs to everyone. Use Bishop's Edict to double MP costs or increase all damage or King's Castle to increase HP/MP recovery or null it entirely. Their other skills allow them to command allies to make free attacks with handy bonuses and chain together their skills when doing so, leading to a flurry of activations. But be careful, one wrong move can lead to your downfall. Commander works best as a sort of Warlord class, they're a support martial pure and simple, but if the player using it isn't very smart about how they use their skills they can put everyone in a heap of trouble.

Swift of step, Dancer's main skill is well... Dance! Dance allows you to spend 10 MP before or after an action to perform a dance (5 MP if you used Dance last turn). Dances provide a variety of effects but most give you resistance to a damage type or allow you to alter all your damage to that type until the end of the turn or give the enemy a status condition, or another different one if they already have it. There's also healing and haste dances if you want those too! Their other skills allow them to apply dances to others they have affection towards, dance and use the equipment action for free, get bonuses towards rolls involving acrobatics for Objectives, or increase the damage of their weapons or spells after dancing. Dancer is primarily another support class, but their ability to change damage types and increase damage makes them amazing at targeting Vulnerabilities and denying enemies damage by gaining Resistance.

Symbolism has always been the heart of magic and the Symbolist knows this best. An IP focused class like Tinkerer, Symbolist's main skill is Symbolism. By spending 2 IP, you can create a symbol and attach it to an ally or make a free attack and apply it to every enemy you hit (amazing with multi). Symbols range in effect from halving recovery, providing one free IP expenditure, or even changing the creature type. Their other skills allow allies with a symbol cast your spells, make sight-based illusions with Rituals, track enemies with symbols, and increase damage or recovery on those with your symbols. The Symbolist, like the Tinkerer, is focused on IP usage and as such will need a class like Rogue, Merchant, or Wayfarer to help keep that up. However, symbols allow for a lot of strategy and creativity in character building that you can use to your benefit. Picking your symbols will be paramount to your build, so be smart about what you pick and smarter about who you apply them too. Sharpshooter and Weaponmaster are also great picks if you intend to apply symbols to enemies.

Lastly, the new heroic skills are all solid. Most focus on using specific types of weapons, now rewarding you for sticking to them as your signature weapon. There's even a few only available to level 30 and higher, notably, Bimagus, which let's you dualcast spells and Grand Summon, which allows you summon Arcanum as separate entities to help you rather than merging.

Chapter 4: Antagonists

Compared to the last two chapters, there's less to say here but there is some great content. This chapter includes 5 villains of levels 10, 20, 30, 40, and 60 that make for fun inclusions in any High Fantasy game. The villains range from a pirate queen to the incarnation of narrative tragedy itself and each comes with a statblock, minions (if they have any), and advice on how to run their encounters. Some even have multiple phases, which is a great example of how to build your own multi-phase boss fights, after all... this isn't even their final form!

One thing to remember when using these enemies (and the book points this out thankfully) is that Fabula Ultima is designed in a way where you, the GM, have to make monsters your party can reflect upon and has the tools to fight effectively. So, when using these, change up the affinities, give them a makeover to connect to the heroes if needed, and use them as you see fit!

Final Thoughts

If you have been loving Fabula Ultima, pick up this book. There's so much great advice for running games and new content for players and GMs alike. You won't be disappointed! There's also some more beautiful JRPG style art within just like the Core Rulebook. If you enjoyed Bravely Default, FFIV, FFIX, FFX, or Tales of Arise, this book will let you live out the same fantasies and journeys featured in those games and gives you even more tools to be your very own heroes of High Fantasy and challenge tragedy itself on the Final Days.

You can purchase it on DriveThruRPG for $14 USD ($20 CDN).

[allfearstofallto]

4,10,47,63?

Okay, So!

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

I have a ton, like a ton of ideas. I can't say for certain what I've been sitting on the longest though because even some of my older fics will be published. I do have like three separate drafts about Xiao though, they've been in the drafts for literal YEARS. I started writing for Xiao before Wanderer even released, but at the time I wasn't posting my fics anymore and I couldn't bring myself to finish them because I felt like there was no point. They're still sitting in the drafts somewhere, is just have to power through them.

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

Whether or not I title a fic is debatable. I really really struggle with titles, I've genuinely gotten to the point where I do just drop something with no titles.

For some fics, not all, the title actually came first and I wrote from there, but that's not common for me. If I know I have to title a fic, I'll typically come up with a general plot and then take my mind to figure out a title at the same time so I don't have to quickly come up with one later.

47. what story are you most proud of?

Weirdly enough the stories that I'm most proud of don't get a lot of traction, while the ones that I'm weary about posting are liked more! I'm not upset at all though! Even one person reading what I wrote makes me happy.

But I really really like:

The Sweetest Spoils of War

Yandere Demon King! Kirishima x Reader

And

Sweetheart

Yandere! Scaramouche x Reader

63.what’s the best insult you’ve read in a fic?

If you read as much Scaramouche fanfiction as I do then you're used to seeing pretty good insults, like some of you Scara authors are actually super mean/creative. I do think my favorite one is one from a fic I can't remember where Scara implied that the readers parents had to be related because of how stupid they are.

[theplumbobguide]

How to Make Your Game More Interesting:

you're so... ~interesting~

Intro: Hello all, Really quickly, I'd like to introduce myself. I have been playing the sims 2 since release when I was quite young, and still play 20 years later. In playing for 20 years, I have read the prima guides like they were the guides to my personal religion. I have deep dived into all the lore, and gone through more than a person who is not a dev should in this game. I've played too much. I've done too much. I also regularly peruse sims 2 subreddits, watch the sims 2 on youtube and generally seem to have made the sims 2 my life (writing this out, I'm feeling a little sad but... worth it). The main thing I see REGULARLY when reading comments and posts on reddit or the youtube comment section is that people generally don't know how to make their game interesting. Why? Well, it seems like generally people get very attached to their sims (same tbh) and don't want to cause chaos, or don't know how to cause chaos. My fun fact: I used to be just like you. Yes you, the person reading this is who is stuck in the loop of creating one perfect family after another and getting bored. I chronically made families of sims with the LTW of Fortune and Family who loved each other deeply, who had perfect A+ children, who succeeded in everything they did... sims who became stale. (how boring!) That was until I decided to use the skills I have learned through reading books, watching soap-opera-y shows, intense movies, and attempting to write my own novels to good use. This is where we come to part of what you came here for. Golden Rules: Rule #1. No good story has a main character who isn't flawed. Creating flawed sims is my main rule; if you had to leave this blog with one thing it's this: make flawed sims. Now, this doesn't mean all sims should be Romance sims or have a Romance secondary aspiration, but rather giving your sims "human qualities". Example: A sim with "anger issues", a sim who always chooses the wrong type of sims to date, a sim who is struggling with their sexuality, AN EVIL SIM. The list can go on. You can do this with your imagination and interactions in-game. You can also download wonderful mods like: Traits Project. This mod will help you create more dynamic sims without needing to think too much about it (OR thinking a lot about it, and adding the traits manually to really build your character). As you can see, there are tons of ways to create flawed sims. I ask you to be inspired by characters from the entertainment you enjoy consuming. You'd be surprised in how many little ways you can make a sim interesting and build a story around them. - A side note in this section: never underestimate a good "mid-life crisis". Quitting a job, gambling addiction, a new romantic interest, shopping addiction, arguing with a partner etc. The possibilities are endless. Rule #2. When in doubt, don't be afraid to take a sim out. No, I don't mean for a night out on the town... Here's the thing, sometimes your sim rolls boring wants regularly, seems to serve little to no purpose, and gives you the general feeling that there isn't much going on behind those pixelated eyes. Regardless of whether or not you like the sim you're thinking of in this moment, it's time to use them to drive the plot or create character development for your other playables. *Grim enters stage left* Never underestimate the storytelling tool that involves making your sim a ghost. Now, with that being said - we all enjoy occasionally letting the intrusive thoughts win when it comes to introducing your sim to the grim reaper; but we can't forget one of the main rules in storytelling plot drivers. You cannot off a character "just because". We must have reason, and this is where we can get really creative. Maybe your sim secretly really dislikes their so-called "perfect life". Maybe they just happen to hike in the desert, during the summer, with their needs really low... Maybe they fall asleep while making family dinner... MAYBE they take a little nightly swim while tired and seem to forget where that pesky pool ladder went.

There are tons of ways you can use these ideas and use it to drive your plot forward. Subjecting their loved ones to the reprocussions of their loss. It is here that I can't fail to mention that while random death can be important; as well as heart breaking. Here are a few ways I make random death possible in my game that I think are great: - Death By Childbirth - More Dangerous Fire - Real Sickness

The big thing I would like to reiterate, is to make sure that if it is not random, and completely your choice as the player, either send them off to the simulated great beyond for passion or pleasure. *Passion would be to move a plot forward, cause chaos, create a character arc for a sim or family, etc. *Pleasure would be just because it makes you happy to have more graves in your cemetary. you're a tad evil aren't you, you little minx. Rule #3. You Can't Always Get What You Want... but if you try sometimes, well, you just might find *you get what you need* Now, as you might have guessed: I am a semi-wants based player. You may be wondering "what that means?" What that means indeed, little friend. Semi-Wants Based Playstyle essentially boils down to: I try to achive almost everything my sim wants to do - but only if I like it for them. Also, sometimes your sim may not "want" something per se, but you've decided that you want to do it and don't want to wait for them to tell you they want to do it. This means, if my family sim decides that maybe they are more or just as attracted to their neighbour as they are their spouse and run a want to flirt with them... we may ruin a marriage or keep a deep dark secret, OR I will feel like it is too far out of left field for this particular sim and chose to ignore it completely. I go off ~vibes~ and suggest you try that too. Story time: I have the "Death by Childbirth" mod in my game. Two of my sims that we're romance sims lived together as a polyamourous couple sharing the sims they brought home. One day the female and male sims did an autonomous woohoo (thank you ACR), and fell pregnant wups. During that pregnancy, though, I noticed them be cute and close and... not have wants for other sims? I thought it was interesting and intended to maybe make them secondary family sims... until my female sim died during childbirth. Now, I could have gone two ways: 1. let the game be as it was and have the male sim be a single dad, or 2. use some cheats and get the resurrect o nomitron. The female sim who died was in the paranormal career, so I figured "why not! DO IT FOR THE PLOT." I resurrected her and decided that both sims underwent such a significant change that they may have also changed their outlooks on life, and changed their LTW. However, I always made it part of their story that while at first things would be good... at one point they would begin to feel like maybe family life wasn't really what they wanted or thought it would be. 3 children later (he wanted it), my female sim is going stir crazy; just wants to make friends and go to work and find the *more* that she knows is out there; my male sim is feeling very alone and like his wife isn't really there for him and his eye is beginning to wander... Who knows what will happen. What I'm trying to (and hopefully) get at here is this: The sims is YOUR game. Your sandbox. While it is fun to create chaos for chaos' sake, don't be afraid to do what YOU want. That's what makes the game enjoyable overall. So yes, maybe something bad happens to a sim, you have the complete ability to turn it around, as long as it what? Say it with me kids: "PrOgReSsEs ThE pLoT." That is what makes interesting gameplay/storytelling. you can really tell my creative writing teachers drilled something into my brain... but what was it? Rule #4. Jump Around! I know not everyone is a rotational player, nor is playing rotationally for everyone. I do, of course, think it's great (however you do it). I don't think it's a *must* to enjoy the game, though. I do stand on the hill that believes that some amount of "changing it up" is important. Once again, everyone is different, so find what you need or speaks to you in this section; but here are some things I do to make sure that I don't get burnt out.

Part 1. "Traditional" Rotational Gameplay: I play for the full EA/Maxis length season (5 days) with each family. You can do more or less. I also play in a pretty regular rotation that only gets changed based on circumstance. For example, if the family breaks apart, the moved family gets played after the original family.

Part 2. I build and/or upgrade all my lots slowly. Whenever I get the itch or inspiration to build I run with it. I usually get the feeling when it's beginning to be necessary in my game. Sometimes you need a coffee shop for a date… then a restaurant… then you think: wow my sims can meet more people at a bar. I build based off my wants and my gameplay needs. With that being said, I also love making my own hoods and slowly building up the town are more sims join the rotations (kinda like a BACC, but not really).

Part 3. I am never opposed to moving sims into a different house/location or simply sending them off on a vacation. Maybe even making sure they leave the house for more mundane reasons. When was the last time you took your kid to the park, you monster? You'd be surprised on how refreshing it can be. Also, how realistic. Gone are the days where your sim lived in the same home from College to Elderhood. Gone are the days where your sim never used their vacation days. Gone are they days where your sim only ever knew the four walls you built around them. Hopefully with doors and windows... but maybe not.. Rule #5. Remember Who You Are, SIMba. Keep in mind that the sims truly is your game. Your imagination. Your little world. You can make it as perfect or as chaotic as you want. As someone who's roots are in "the perfect sim/family" type gameplay, I always allow at least 1 if not 2-3 families who fit that bill somehow, to keep my little heart happy. (Another great idea for you comes from the movie "Don't Worry Darling": think of a town where everything is the 1950's vision of perfect - but everyone *is* happy... until... and fill in the blank as you go.) I digress, you can try out any/all these rules. You can even take inspiration from my game or ideas I layed out in this first ever post here, but at the end of the day, you will always be you. The Sims will always be your game. Don't be afraid to try things, don't be afraid to be your real and truest self. For some of you that means a town of insane sims wearing chicken costumes, and for others that might be trying to actually create the perfect town/family (I challenge you to make sure they have not 1 bad memory). Either way, and all the ways, I hope that this post at the least gave you joy and at the best gave you inspiration. More to come in the future! Have an exellent day, meaghanplumbob xox

[mdhwrites]

My Thoughts On the Pilots Being Leaked

For an ongoing work, I am against leaks PERIOD. I have unfollowed artists for Star Rail who shared leaks because not only do I not want to know what's going to happen, I think it's damaging to both fans and creators. It splits people, often causing some fans to feel like they have to hide from the fandom to not be spoiled. It can sometimes ruin a moment, or even make it be misinterpreted without context, which destroys the work the creator put into it. It can damage the success of a work by ruining the cycle of marketing and hype for it. It can also be EXTREMELY rough for creators emotionally because what was meant to be a moment of celebration has suddenly turned into damage control.

Leaks are fucking awful... For ongoing projects.

What has been leaked for Disney cartoons over the past decade and a half, potentially further I don't know, has all been for things that either never got released or are finished works. They are also content that would have, 99% of the time, never seen the light of day without being leaked. There is no hype cycle for them to ruin. There is no damage control that the creator needs to do because of it being put out there and the network wanting them to help repress it. Not knowing about scrapped media for a work is okay fandom wise so fans don't have to hide from it or split amongst themselves for whether they've seen it or not. It can't be misinterpreted against the creator because we know this isn't what they went with, very explicitly since it never aired. All the problems for an ongoing project aren't here.

In return, we get glimpses into how the animation industry works, how these creations go from concept to fruition, things that are kept pretty arcane to the vast majority of people. Disney especially loves to curate their personal image and only let out certain stories about their works, hence why they don't like letting the documentary about The Emperor's New Groove's making, which is BRUTALLY HONEST about the creation of that movie with responses from animators and staff while the film is in progress, be seen by ANYONE if they can help it. It also helps aspiring directors to see what they need to do in order to potentially get their projects out there instead of just having to follow vague advice for what a pitch bible looks like or even thinking that it needs to be the absolute final draft of their project, rather than a living document like it appears to be more commonly.

The only real downsides I can think of are A: they do allow concepts to not be reused as surprisingly by a creator but these are pilots. Their jobs are to setup a story and so if a creator still reuses a concept here for a full work, that just means that now they get to explore it properly. B: It's embarrassing for the creators because it is old, sometimes unfinished work. That... shrug I sympathize with that.

C: It causes fans to question why certain elements weren't used instead. I've already had to do a blog about how the pitch bible for TOH is actually not much better than what we got and the clear reasons why TOH likely made the changes they did as what was portrayed by the pitch bible would have meant an even larger scope than in the show we got. You know, the show that always struggled under the weight of its scope and cast size. But a lot of people have been looking at it and the pilot and thinking that it would have been strictly better than what we got which can cause some parts of the fandom to potentially be cruel to parts of the work they wouldn't have otherwise. It also means creators may be bothered by questions about the pilot when the pilot isn't actually important to the work itself. It was scrapped for a reason and while it's cool to see where it came from and can be educational, it shouldn't be used to condemn the show simply for now not having an element from the scrapped content. That's not fair to the work or the creator.

I am personally on the side that the educational and insight value from these pilots outweighs these problems but I could see myself changing my tune if I start hearing about fans leaning into this last problem. Treating scrapped content as only okay if it is objectively worse than what we got. That's not fair, especially since what a creator decides to include is a very delicate balance of a lot of elements, a lot we can't usually see without the broader context of the next steps beyond the concept as presented. How it actually needs to function in execution.

This is your constant reminder that the only perfect work is the one that is never made. It's a lot easier to pitch the perfect concept than it is to write it, so don't let this stuff be the end all be all for what would have been 'best'. Let them simply be the educational curiosities that they are instead.

See you next tale.

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Don't think all of this just applies to corporate work btw. I have stuff I haven't published myself, including an entire novella, because it didn't work and so had to simply be thrown away. The reasons for each are pretty complex, ranging from just how it all came together, how it would damage the rest of a work or how I decided that my audience clearly weren't interested in the thread I was pulling so ending it one chapter faster was probably for the best. It's complicated and we should remember to be respectful of that.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[ursachaotic]

Ok this might be a little weird and I want to tell this to you anonymously because I don't want to make you feel pressured into answering ^^' (let it be known I am a mutual of yours & I know we don't talk but I think you're really cool <:) Your genuine love for Gravity Falls and you excitement about The Book of Bill is kind of. Helping me rekindle old love for the franchise. I stopped interacting with it more or less involuntarily (bad experience with bad people) and felt bad that I can't get into it but honestly your interest did help me rediscover it, or at least start to do so. Like I've picked up my old Journal 3 a couple times this week, I thought about re-watching the show, I bookmarked the cheapest "to be released" listings for TBOB in the online shops in my country, I have the thisisnotawebsitedotcom bookmarked too. I've been picking up my hand-made-from-a-towel Bill plush and just looking at him. Thinking about trying to find his hat and make him a new bow because I took them off when it was just too awful to perceive.

I hope this isn't weird. I genuinely don't mean to be weird or trigger your anxiety or anything, I mean it. Your love for this show and everything around it is helping me a bit to rediscover my own, which is great, because as someone with interest in folklore, the paranormal and cryptids, GF was an amazing thing to discover. I myself made a grown up version of Dipper, who's a full-on cryptid hunter and wrote a lot of stories about him, later turning that concept into my own thing because it was too painful to keep but I loved all of the creatures I made and the lore and stuff. So I just took my ideas and moved it into my own thing, which is currently my most developed universe with my most beloved ocs.

This is lengthy. Sorry. Again, I genuinely don't want to creep you out, just, I'm glad I found you and your art and your comic and that you're so excited about your interests. Please know that you are never bad or annoying for loving what you love, please continue being so passionate about things, because it's really cool. You're cool. I hope you know that ^^ and, well, if not, I'm telling you. You're cool and your work is amazing.

(If you would prefer me to pm you feel free to post about it here or your personal? blog, whichever you're cool with, I'll probably see it and can just pm you with like "haha yeah I'm the long rekindled-interest anon" or you can answer this or just read & delete, I really don't mind if you don't want to answer ^^. Just, wanted to say this. Again I hope this isn't weird ;w; I swear I'm just a little adhd guy who used to love GF a lot, and possibly might be okay enough to start interacting with it on his own. And your love for the franchise helped.)

Hi this made me tear up (iN A GOOD WAY I PROMISE AHSDOFISADH I CRY WHEN I'M HAPPY LOL), this is seriously so, so sweet. Thank you so much for sending me this!! 🥹 I'm really glad that all of my silly Gravity Falls stuff has helped you get back into the show, and I hope you enjoy it and enjoy the Book of Bill if you get it!

Also, this seriously means a lot to me, especially because I'm actually really self-conscious about my interests and passions haha. I'm terrified of being seen as annoying, and there's been a lot of times recently where I've shut down out of the fear of being annoying about my interests. But I'm starting to not give a shit about whether or not people find me annoying online?? I want to be super vocal about something I adore so damn much cause it makes me happy! I've also been burnt out on drawing for a WHILE, but reading this book has given me so much inspiration, and drawing feels really fun and exciting again for the first time in a while! I struggle with depression a lot too, but my love for Bill and excitement about what's to come for the series has helped me feel really happy and kept me going for the first time in a bit. So, while I'm still scared of being perceived as annoying, I'm really happy right now and I want to keep doing stuff that makes me happy, even if that's just drawing Bill antagonizing me / my sona lmao. Seriously, thank you so much for sending me this! It's incredibly sweet and I'm really grateful that you did ;w;

Also you can absolutely reach out over DMs!! I would love to talk, but I hope you're having a wonderful day!! 🥹❤️

[coldgoldlazarus]

So, for a while now, I've been kinda entertaining the idea of more-or-less wholesale porting the G2 Protectors into a G1 AU. (Or at least, a more G1-derived setting, depending on how loose I feel like I want to play with things at a given moment.)

Because one thing that struck me as genuinely interesting about G2's approach, was how the protectors simultaneously fulfilled a very similar and yet very distinct role from the Turaga.

Both are leaders of villages, with greater elemental power than the Matoran/villagers, yet considerably less than a full Toa. Yet while the general conception of the Turaga as old and decrepit is perhaps overstated in fanon, there is still a noticeable difference between their demeanor, build, and general presentation, than the way the Protectors came across in G2's smattering of story content.

Particularly notable is the attention drawn to this difference in one of the early animations, where Narmoto is initially presented as a hunchbacked, cloaked figure, only to fairly dramatically throw aside the cloak and reveal his barrel chest, shoulder-mounted minigun, and those flame whip/sword/things. Like, that felt intentional, to draw the parallel with the Turaga and then subvert it. In addition to that, there is the second Ryder Wyndham book, where the Protectors go on their own adventure in parallel to the Toa venturing through the city, which also paints them as acting in a more proactive manner. So despite the similarities, the Protectors fit a unique niche, coming across as more proactive and powerful in a direct sense, while perhaps lacking some of the same level of subtlety and wisdom as a Turaga.

---

So basically, my idea is to essentially slot them in as an additional, optional stage in the life cycle, an intermediary state between being a Matoran and being a Toa.

The benefit to this is having someone there who can partially fulfill both the duties associated with a Toa or Turaga as needed, but in a more flexible way, without the power investment of the former or the time investment of the latter. Again, they may not be as capable of the same kind of feats as a Toa, or have the same depth of wisdom as a Turaga, but they can still fill in the gaps as needed, and lead and defend their people in a way most Matoran would still struggle to. Depending on regional tradition and whether circumstances allow, it could also serve as a good way to gain experience on the way to becoming full Toa, rather than being thrust directly into the role and forced to sink or swim like the Toa Metru were.

---

Also, with @outofgloom 's input, I think I've finally settled on a name for them, since "Protector" obviously doesn't quite fit into the setting or language: Vaaki, as derived from Va-Aki; "Lesser Valor", befitting their intermediary status as lesser Toa.

(I was initially less inclined to go with that since it sounded too similar to Vahki, but in hindsight I like it for exactly that reason. Assuming Vaaki are like, not a common practice but at least a known-of one, then Nuparu naming his creations to sound similar, despite the different derivation, would be an intentional choice. A nod to the similarities between the role of a Vaaki and the original, perhaps overly optimistic, intention for the Vahki to serve... and extra bitter irony when the latter ultimately wound up being tools of oppression instead. So yeah, rather than detracting, the resemblance could add additional interesting context and history.)

---

The matter of how they are made, mechanically speaking, I'm a bit more uncertain of, but at least for now the idea is still continuing literally with that idea of them as essentially half-Toa. Basically, there would be some way to control the process of transformation from a Toa Stone, only partially releasing the stored power and conserving the rest, which in turn results in a partial transformation. One side-effect of this could be some odd body/limb proportions like Narmoto and Izotor in G2 had. And then later, if it is felt that a Toa is needed more, then the remainder of that power could be used to complete the transformation, and grant the full strength of form and elemental power.

In essence, this approach would be a way to utilize the Metru toa stones on Mata Nui, aside from summoning the Toa Mata; in my version of the island where there are multiple villages per Wahi, those toa stones would have been used to make some of the Matoran into Vaaki to run the additional settlements, alongside the Turaga Metru still leading the primary ones.

---

On the other hand, part of me prefers the idea of Vaaki as a full and distinct additional step, rather than just "half-baked" Toa. Particularly in a more loose take on things, such as my G3 concept from a few months back, where adding this additional stage of things is easier to smoothly incorporate, it feels like it makes more sense that way. The issue there being, if a Toa Stone is still how a Vaaki becomes a Toa, by what other means would a Matoran become a Vaaki in the first place? To that, I'm not yet sure.

[20001541]

so I'm going to answer this with the long answer I had typed for this since some wanted to hear it, putting it under read more

oh haha um well it's complicated to say the least

there was a point in time (2021-early 2023) where I was a super hardcore believer, I wrote and read tons of fanfic about it, bought a zine about it, made meta about it, argued with anti dfo who got angry at me in the replies and even joined discord servers about dfo because I was really in love with this theory

but as of late I find myself just not want wanting it at all and actually dislike the thought of it being canon. for numerous reasons I'll get into

first off I feel at this point it'll just be super rushed. maybe if it was done earlier I would've been more warmer towards it as there would actually be time to digest this info. it would be a huge deal with a hero being the son of the number one villain, if it were to be canon I would want a full self reflection from Izuku, more about his mom and her thoughts and feelings about this, flashbacks to inko and afo's first encounter and marriage in its early days, maybe afo trying to isolate Izuku further by releasing this information publicly and turning civilians and some heroes against him. having him and his mom shunned by a lot of people (people calling izuku devils spawn), getting to see his classmates reactions, all mights reaction (!!!). maybe a talk with the vestiges about it and just stuff like that.

but there's no hope of ever getting any of that if it's revealed now. it's the middle of battle and at most I could see Izuku probably being shocked, afo taking advantage of his shock for a brief moment then we move on. which is very :/, feels like it would just be cheap shock value at that point so why even include it when it feels more detrimental than something interesting. maybe he could make it canon and have it not be rushed, but considering how he's treated the other plot points like the ua traitor plot and machia's kind of out of nowhere betrayal in this arc, I'm inclined to believe it would be rushed and messy as well.

I think I'm far more interested in seeing how afo and tomura's struggle plays out and afo's final encounter with yoichi and an exploration of his past and the person that afo is, rather than some last minute revelation that ends up not adding much to the story.

also the fact that izuku never thinks about hisashi once also plays into me being very "what's the point of having this" here. I know him having his memories tampered with is a popular theory but to me sounds like an awkward way to bypass the fact your main character didn't reflect once on something that ended up being extremely important later. I don't see any evidence of that either, at least with tomura he had some hazy recall about his past before everything came back to him with izuku we get nothing at all about hisashi. at least do where he vaguely remembers a tall man with an eerie presence and gentle smile that didn't reach his eyes whose face is obscured in shadow saying he's going on a short business trip and then he never came back after.

the next reason is I don't really like the more popular fanon characterizations of afo in dfo's settings (and the way people try integrating it with canon) not getting into this as I don't want to step on any toes, but this thing particularly has really turned me off from the theory as a whole.

also I hate the way some dfo fans treat afo, I remember it being common at one point for people to be like "lol afo is only interesting if dfo is true without it he's just some dumb one dimensional villain". when that's not the case, he has a lot of interesting things going on for him. I just hate how some only see his worth in whether he is izuku's dad or not. not all dfo fans think like this though, I'm not generalizing all of them it's just some do this and it irks me so bad. (and to be honest I used to be like this too, but I've changed)

and I also feel like a lot get too caught up in dfo stuff that they end up neglecting afo's character as a whole and it leads to some poor interpretations of his character and certain scenes because I feel some are trying too hard to find evidence/justification that they miss out on some of the more interesting dimensions of his character. not saying all of them do this, but I've seen enough of this along with other stuff I've said that's made me more :/ towards the theory as of late

another thing is that I guess I've also just grew tired of waiting? some people can only wait for so long before they change their minds on things they've used to love. and as I've said before in my first point too I just don't see the point anymore. I don't think even if it does happen we'll get some super in depth look at it and how it affects izuku and other characters. I was more passionate about it during the time where it seemed like we could get a good look into it, but not I'm more meh as it seems like we won't.

that said I do not have anything against dfo theorists. some of my favorite writers are big dfo proponents, one of my favorite fanfics of all time happens to be a dfo fanfic. I have some au's of my own about it and I enjoy reading others au's and I do enjoy the occasional dfo art piece. a lot of dfo theorists in my experience are really nice too.

I think it's so stupid how angry people get at dfo theorists, how you can't mention it outside your circle without risk of being insulted or jumped on. which I have experienced before in my dfo days (not on here though). at the end of the day it's just a little theory people have come up with, if it comes true then whatever if it doesn't then whatever right? just leave people alone and even if you disagree with them at least be respectful. it would be neat if fans with differing opinions on stuff in the story could come together and have an actual conversation once in a while so both sides could better understand each other, but sadly this is the Internet and disagreements like that usually result in a angry back and forth exchanges filled with insults.

as a whole I'm not interested in the dfo theory anymore to me it's something I would prefer to just remain a fanon thing rather than something that becomes canon. but yeah these days it's just very rare for me to read it, it's not something I seek out and I usually only read it from authors I already trust. but if someone wanted me to read their dfo fic and they were nice about it well I wouldn't be opposed to reading it. I don't mind if someone wants to talk about it with me either. I like talking about afo as a whole even if it's in the realms of a theory I'm not crazy about.

I guess I am grateful to dfo in a way as its what made me really take notice of afo in the first place. It made me look more into scenes that he was in and over time I ended up liking him more than the theory itself and ended up just abandoning the theory as a whole. I don't think I would be as in love with him as I am now if it weren't for dfo making me a take closer look at him. also believe it when they say the dfo theorist to afo simping pipeline is real because it happened to me. if you're keeping this man constantly in your thoughts theres a chance it could happen to you.

overall I don't feel like it's going to be canon anymore? I don't really care for it being canon either. there's too much stuff going on that still needs to be wrapped up and I think dfo wouldn't be able to fit in all of it. the only things I would say make me hesitate about it being true is the fact he said hisashi will be revealed back in 2018 and some of the meanings behind hisashi's name. but generally feeling like there's a 20% chance of it happening seeing where we are as of now. I think past me would've been horrified to hear me say this now because I used to be extremely confident it would happen but things change

anyways you wanted my opinion and there it is, this is just how I feel and you're free to disagree with me as long as you're not rude about it.

[mercyburned]

🌿 author portrait .

get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog.

basics .

name/nickname: lori age: 34. i am the mom friend. pronouns : she/her only, please years of writing : writing itself as an intentional act, probably since about age 10. but i've been conjuring up stories since around second or third grade.

reflection .

why did you pick up writing? like i said above, it's been my hobby for basically my entire life? i couldn't give you a reason. some people become artists, some people become musicians, i became a writer the same way i've become a teacher.

do you have any writing routines? by this point i really should, but i do not. i think i'll probably start setting myself realistic goals over the summer so that i don't fall as far behind next school year as i have over the past year. since i went back to college and everything after that ( fulltime jobs, grad school, moving, an actual career job ) i've really struggled with keeping my blog consistently active, and i think that damages my ability to interact and make new connections. so, i'd like to get back into feeling like a part of the community instead of just idling on the fringes of it.

what's your favorite part about writing? it's a huge creative release for me, and i think it's also helped me to process a lot of the things i've gone through in life. i don't think i'd be as mentally stable as i am if i hadn't poured all of my angst (tm) into writing early on and throughout the years when those things happened. but also, it's just very enjoyable for me to continue / explore the stories of characters i love in new ways. ventium said this too, but i also really like the social aspect of rp specifically. getting to talk excitedly about ideas and characters with someone else is what puts the bow on top for me.

three things you like about your writing. looking back at my old writing which is, regrettably, still online but mwahaha you'll never find it - i can see how much i've grown as a writer and how i've tried so many different ways to do the Writing Thing. i think i'm very good with worldbuilding and lore aspects of writing, but i think i can still improve on characterization and making sure each character has a unique voice. i have some extremely strong muses, like clare, who tend to bleed through into some other characters - though, for characters like kaeya, it sort of works. anyway, uh, yeah.

have you ever given up on writing? no, though i go through phases sometimes where i just don't have the writing mojo. but i've learned to show myself grace and not force it. whether i write every day or not doesn't change the fact that i'm a writer, and it doesn't mean i'm a bad rp partner if i take a break to tend to my offline life. my friendships don't expire and my threads don't either, soooo...

what is your greatest fear or worry as a writer? i don't think i have one. i used to stress SO MUCH about being perfect but maybe i've just gotten older and i don't see it that way anymore? i've had rp blogs with 2k+ followers and rp blogs with less than 100. the same 10 people interacted with me on either of them, so i don't even notice my follower count anymore. i'm not super stressed about my characterization ( even though i know it can always improve ) and i know my worldbuilding is good. i guess the only thing that i sometimes think about is that my activity is very low, which, like i said earlier, makes it difficult to form and maintain connections in the rpc. but i appreciate the people who understand that my offline life is very demanding and takes like 90% of my mental energy each day. not really worried about the rest tbh !

a question for the next person .

write a question for the next person to answer. once you've answered it, leave a new question for someone else to answer.

next question: if you could give advice to someone just beginning their foray into writing, what three things would you tell them?

tagging: @cybrvce, @papilio-anima, @literanis, @armatization and you! tagged by: i stole it from @apocryphis.

[yourlocalartsonist]

Heya! I wanted to ask about your fic, "Moths Fly In Packs", that I wanted to know for a while. Forgive me if it was answered or not:

What was your main inspiration for the actual story? Was it just a Rise AU? Did you automatically create Salena for this story? I wanna know the origins of story and what got you writing the first chapter!

Heyyyyy bestie how's it goinnnnn~

Aight so this is actually one of my favorite things to talk about cuz my ass cannot shut up about this fic but it was quite a few things that got mushed together to create the fic

First off, it was originally gonna be a comic! I just got heavily back into Rise after watching the movie in January 2023 and yk the show was cancelled for a while now. I really missed the show and already read through like every headcanon, x reader, and whatever the fuck I could find at the time so to satiate myself, I decided to make a story of my own! That was kinda already the drill for me anyway; if there's a piece of media I adore that never got the love it deserved, I continue the story myself

It was gonna be a comic focused with the boys as the main characters just like the show and would be seen as a continuation. I wasn't planning on releasing it any time soon since ya know... comic but Salena was indeed still gonna be in the story. She was just gonna be a more minor character? Not background, more like on the same level as April or Splintz; pops up often but not always

And then I realized that was a stupid fucking idea cuz no way in hell I would ever survive the torture of making comics :D I don't even enjoy making em for the most part so yk-

I had a different idea on the side. I was thinking it'd be interesting to have a separate fic version of the story but told from Salena's perspective so the audience would understand her more. But then as I kept developing the story, I realized this was the more interesting version anyway! I had a shit ton of ideas and a lot of topics I could critique and commentate on. It was genuinely fucking interesting the more I looked at it, even tho I was hella nervous no one would care for my random ass OC enough to accept them as the main character over the boys-

On a more personal note, I was going through a lot of shit prior to rejoining Rise which made my senior year of high school get a very depressing start. But in a way, watching the movie and the show saved me. Not even exaggerating, this show's done a lot for me than I'll ever be able to express. When I thought about making the fic and settled on it being the story I tell, I wanted to express all my feelings and hardships I've been through. I wanted to explore them through Salena and externalize a lot of the messages I learned and Rise felt like the perfect outlet for that; the characters just genuinely fit

That's the real reason why I had the first chapter out in like a month or two. I wasn't even sure whether to post it, it was entirely an impulse move. But I don't regret it one bit

I really do hope this story find the people I want it to. People who felt just as alone as I did, I want them to know they aren't. There are people out there who understand, who've been through the same, and who've survived and gone onto thriving. I wanted Salena to feel relatable to them since she's quite literally the first character I've made who's truly based off of myself

On the flip side, I also hope it'll reach people who have no idea what I'm talking about and haven't ever experienced what Salena has. I want this story to be an opportunity for them to step into someone else's shoes and learn how to empathize. That was why I loved books as a kid; they helped me learn to empathize. So maybe, my story can do the same. Help people to empathize with folks like Salena who are struggle and have no idea how to say so

Sorry for the long ass ramble. I genuinely do believe the origins of this fic is extremely interesting so I really love talking about it ;w;

Cheers to Chapter 9 finally being out!

[justhere4thevibez]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @staceymcgillicuddy @cyraclove and @bibiche007 thanks guys 💛💛💛

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32! I can't believe it!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

420,197 which is insane!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, hellcheer specifically

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Long Is the Road Out of Hell (dnd au)

The Interview (college/fake dating au)

Hold Onto Me (vampire au)

Cooking Up Something Sweet (rockstar social media au)

Waiting For This Moment (flower shop/tattoo parlor au)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to respond to every single comment! They took the time to give me a comment, why wouldn't I take the time to thank them for it?

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That's tough, because I always try to give hellcheer a happy ending - they deserve it! But Release My Inner Fantasy, despite being almost purely smut, definitely has the angstiest ending. (although it might be slightly cheating since it is part of an ongoing series, and I do intend to give them an eventual happy ending)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, I love to write happy endings! So most of my fics are very happy at the close. But Hooked on a Feeling might be my most sappy-sweet ending. It's definitely one of my more lighthearted fics!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

honestly, no! the hellcheer fandom overall has been very kind to me. the closest I get to hate on fics is people wishing/asking me to do something different than I've already done (i.e. write an alternate ending because they didn't want A or B in it), which can be very discouraging. but I don't get that a lot!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! However, I had never written actual smut in my life until this year, so I'm still pretty new at it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really. The closest I've ever gotten to a crossover is crossover elements loosely integrated in a fic. Devil in the Woods, for example, uses bits and pieces from things like little red riding hood and beauty and the beast while remaining very much its own thing!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! And I'd very much like to keep it that way

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so! but i'd be honored if somebody did

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, but I have a lovely friend who betas for me on occasion and we bounce ideas back and forth so much it sometimes feels like cowriting ( @slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction )

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

hellcheer, if you couldn't tell 😉

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I intend to finish every single wip I have going atm (As well as a few on the back burner lol). but sometimes it feels like i'm never going to finish them, especially when i'm on the very last chapters. why does it always work like that???

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel like i'm pretty good at writing intimate scenes. and by that i mean scenes where not a lot's going on, where a small group of characters (usually two) can be together or have a conversation that doesn't do much for the plot but sheds a lot of light on the characters themselves (both to the readers and within the story between characters)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm very undisciplined with writing habits, i don't write every day or have certain goals. i struggle to describe people and scenery in a concrete way that is integrative with the story itself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

find a native speaker and get (and listen to) their feedback. whether it's tenses, phrases, or cultural tendencies, let someone who's actually the expert be the expert.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

hellcheer! unless you count me scribbling in my journal when i was about eight, writing a boxcar children story because i'd heard that they employed ghost writers and i thought "i could do that!" i wrote like half a dozen sentences, convinced i was going to become employed by the boxcar children publisher.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

honestly? probably Devil in the Woods. it's the one i go back to the most when i need a comfort read.

Tagging @slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction @sloelimbs@ebongawk and anyone else who wants to join!