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insidetheravensmind · 7 months

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𝐌𝐲 𝐉𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝

18+ | For Mature Audiences Only

Pairing: Siren Hyunjin X AFAB Reader Genre: smut, pirate/siren AU, slight yandere themes !!WARNINGS!! yandere themes, cream pie, making out, doing it from the back, facefucking/intense blowjobs, fingering, cunnilingus, degradation/slight dumbifcation, DOM HYUNJIN, SUB READER, reader gets super fucked out. I think that's all, but I'm bad at warnings. Also, there is slight control over the mind, but everything is consensual! Word Count: 7,222 Requested: Yes! Author's Note: I used several references while writing this including Pirates of the Caribbean, H2O Just Add Water (literally only the moonpool/grotto area, that's what the scene is based on), and the faces I envision the sirens having is basically the vampire faces in "The Vampire Diaries." I also watched One Piece while writing this. Avatar (James Cameron) also inspired the mermaid/siren sex biology. (When they use their hair to touch and that's sex, yeah I did something like that). Reader is a pirate that basically only uses pirate slang around her crew, besides that she talks normal. I figured the pirate slang would get annoying to y'all, so I kept it own. I hope you like it! I'll be transparent, this fic is the only one I've ever questioned and been tempted to re-write a few times. I'd love to write something like this again, but I do need to practice. Synopsis: You're a pirate captain that's looking for sirens and mermaids, but what happens when you attack the enemies, and a beautiful siren takes you away for himself? Check out my Stray Kids Masterlist Support me by buying me a coffee ☕️

EDIT AFTER POSTING: Y'all be making me blush and shit with your feedback. I'm giggling and kicking my feet <3<3<3

For hundreds of years people have roamed the oceans. From sailors on ships to the deadliest pirates of the seven seas, the treacherous waters have taken many lives, not only to the water itself, but the unknown dangers of what lies beneath its surface.

Stories of many kinds have stumbled their way out of survivors and drunken deadbeats. What they saw at sea or what they heard from someone else, anything was plausible in this kind of world. If it came from someone’s mouth, it was bound to be true in one or another. No one can ever be careful enough, so it was better to take everything as truth. Even the most ridiculous sounding claims shouldn’t have been taken lightly.

You were the captain of a large pirate ship named The Corruption. You weren’t the most feared pirate known to man, but you were certainly amongst them. You were the only pirate willing to tread where others never came back from. You had faced the Kraken, not killing it, for your adventure only called to find where it rested to avoid crossing near the area at all costs. You faced several other sea monsters, whether they were larger than three ships or nearly as small as a minnow. In this place, the unknown were considered monsters until proven friendly. You and your crew were one of the reasons the unknown creatures were given names in the first place.

People often wondered about the name of your ship, The Corruption. As far as anyone knew, you weren’t one looking for a good or quick fuck like anyone else when drunk, stressed, or just plain horny. Anyone who would have ever heard your name knew you were one of the bravest captains in the known lands, but they also knew you weren’t one to hurt.

You were known for finding creatures but never hurting them. You never forced your crew to walk the plank or make a sacrifice. You were feared for confidence and bravery, not unjust corruption like other pirates. The name of the ship didn’t make sense. How could you, a captain so understanding, sail a ship with an unfit name? Everyone wondered. But you knew. Only you. Only you had the actual mindset to understand why it would be given such a name, and it was simple: Those who sail on it are corrupted by the wonders, those who sail on it live to tell the tales, and thus are corrupted by the truthfulness filled in the sea. They were not killed, they survived intentionally, as long as the captain had any say in it.

Though there was no reason to fear you, people were still terrified because you were willing to explore what others wouldn’t dare go near. You didn’t take shit from anyone. Your very presence, the kind that was filled with confidence, your willingness to look anyone in the eye, and you could get anyone to tell the truth. You could read a lie from nautical miles away.

This next voyage of yours was not the most dangerous, but somehow it scared the crew and anyone new willing to sign up. You were on the search for something that was only legend. Nothing proven, no one alive to tell the tale, and it was strictly based on sightings, no real interactions. For years there had been narratives of half fish, half humans swimming by ships quickly, like they were doing their best to not be seen. Oftentimes the quick glimpses made were described as beautiful women, long hair flowing down their backs and breasts out with no cover. The Englishmen called them “mermaids.”

You wanted to see them for yourself. It was what you did: searched for the tales, or in this case tails, to prove they were real, and if they’re dangerous and how to avoid them. But you questioned why they were so afraid of beautiful maidens that swam along beside them.

Annoyed by everyone’s lack of commitment, you rounded up your crew and anyone else interested in the voyage.

“What the hell is wrong with this lily-livered crew? You wanna sail, especially on my ship, you’re gonna get the hell on and go. What happened to me swashbucklers?! You have faced the kraken and you’re all scared to go hunt for half fish half humans? Now, all hands hoay!”

Your crew didn’t move, barely budged actually, they just blinked at you. Until one man stepped forward and spoke up.

“Captain, we don’t mean to seem like landlubbers, but rumor has it these mermaids ain’t that friendly. Says they sing with perfect pitch and harmony to lure anyone to their deaths, then snack on them like we’re a hearty meal. We ain’t wanna die to the hands of lust, ya hear?”

In disbelief by such words and rumors you had to understand it was important to be cautious. This wasn’t the type of journey you could just set sail for, it seemed there were more obstacles. You had to come up with more of a plan than a simple aboard ship and sail off.

“If these ‘maids are so dangerous then why is it they swim by our ships without going in for a snack, aye?”

Another mate spoke up to answer your question.

“Captain, it’s been said that they could be related but they ain’t the same creature, savvy? Rumors been calling the ones who sing ‘Sirens’ instead of mermaids. They look the same, but they await on shores singing to lure them whereas mermaids are friendly, helpful fellows.”

“Ya sound like you’re three sheets to the wind. Where’d you hear this scuttlebutt?”

“Came from an old seadog, Captain Rattles, Captain.”

You thought for a moment. Captain Rattles was one hell of a source, to be honest. He sailed the seas for decades, every warning he ever came about ended up to be true. Never once had he lied to crews and captains. He was a pirate to behold, really.

“Fine. I’m gonna have a meeting with Rattles to figure out a plan. Then all of you are boarding my ship, or else you’re gonna find yourselves lovers with the hempen halter. Savvy?”

“Aye aye, Captain!”

And the mates scurried off while you made your way to the old tavern where Rattles always seemed to be. It was time to figure out what you were gonna do with the ole hearties. It was annoying to you though. They were willing to die by a giant octopus and not a pretty girl. Typical pirates looking down on women.

Later that night you found yourself seated next to Rattles with a notebook to take notes on anything he had to say.

“I remember encountering them for the first time. We heard a beloved voice and heard it coming from a distance. We saw a mermaid. She turned on her back and swam while her mouth opened. The song came from her. We were all entranced. We followed through a fog until her song became a screech. Her face contorted, and her teeth became sharp fangs. The fog dissipated. Then there was a colony of them. They looked so peaceful in the water, until they all did the same thing. They began to attack. It didn’t help that the ship was smaller. I barely escaped. Only me and two others got out. Everyone else was ripped apart in front of us or dragged into the water where the carnage was hidden. We aren’t sure if there were survivors. We aren’t sure if sirens and mermaids are different or if one makes the other. There are so many things we don’t know, but no one should trust a half fish, half human. It’s not safe. We need someone to figure it out. We need you to figure it out.”

“I know. I want to. My crew is scared.”

“Come on, Captain. Let’s figure this out.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

That night over drinks the both of you came up with a plan. You and the crew needed to wear cloth in your ears to prevent the sound of songs from working. You needed to stack on weapons, ready to attack back. You all needed to pretend that the song was working. The plan was to sail east off the island. That’s where they accidentally found the cove they named “Libido’s Lounge.” It was noted that there weren’t just women, there were men as well. Even those who didn’t fancy men still fell under the spell, and vice versa.

A few weeks passed by while you gathered the supplies you all needed for the voyage. It was dangerous, and those who began to board knew that. Even you, the bravest of adventurers, were slightly trembling as you boarded last. You weren’t sure why you were so nervous, but you had a gut feeling this was not going to end well. You wanted to cancel it because you’ve never had a gut feeling like this before, but it was too late. You had to go through with it.

“Anchors aweigh! Better get your sea legs in quick because we’re in for a ride!”

“Aye aye, Captain!”

The escapade took a few weeks. The bad feeling in your stomach grew worse. Some days you could barely walk, the anxiety crumbling you. Your head had shooting pains that grew worse the closer The Corruption got to Libido’s Lounge. The crew noticed, but they refused to say anything. It's never good to doubt the captain, especially when they’re in this position of danger with no one else to lead them out.

Dark grew over the horizon as the sun hid itself. The ship continued to sail onwards until a crew member looked over the deck and saw a beautiful face emerge from the water. She smiled at him, and he smiled at her fondly. The way her face was beautifully carved made him feel butterflies, and it wasn’t just the fact that he’d been living off of rum for a while. A crew member next to him noticed his gaze followed towards the girl. He quickly ran towards you to alert you that you’d reached the cove.

“Alert the crew to get the cloth in their ears, now. Get Barbins over there out of that trance or he’s gonna be feeding the fishes.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

Without a second to lose he began to round up the crew one by one to let them know the plan needed to go into full effect now. They plugged their ears with cloth.

“Hey, Barbins.” The man whispered.

Irritated, he turned to face him.

“What is it?”

“Cloth, now. Captain said so. Or you’re gonna be dinner for them.”

“Gyah, whatever!”

He stuffed his ears quickly before facing the pretty girl again. She smiled, and he smiled back. You noticed this. She began to swim away, and you quickly alerted the crew to follow her. You grabbed a hold of the wheel and spun it to change direction. Through the mist you blindly followed the girl.

“Oi! Be ready for anything. The second her face turns ugly, start attacking!”

The mist cleared and water grew shallower. There was a clearing filled with the most beautiful faces ever seen. You glared at them as they opened their mouths and began to sing. Through the cloth, all of you could hear the song, but you were hoping it stopped the hypnotic way it enchanted the ears. They all stared at the ship while they harmonized their song. But you couldn’t see any men. Your father had told you there would be men, but there were none here. They were all beautiful girls, you could admit to that. You saw the attraction, and you understood the danger of their beauty.

You looked to see Barbins jumping off the ship. You were stunned. What was he doing?

“Man overboard! Start the attack, now!”

WIth a yell the men began to shoot at the water, and the creatures became angry. Soon they lunged at the ship, managing to grab hold of the crew and dragging them down to the depths. There were way more of them than you had crew, and you knew there’d be more to come.

Honestly, you lost your depth. Your stomach grew more knots as you watched the bloodshed. There was going to be no survivors by the look of it. Your head felt full and heavy. Your vision became blurry. Your legs felt weak. The epitome of this dreadful feeling somehow worsened when you got to the clearing, and it hurts even more now, like the source of it is getting closer.

You began to back away from the wheel when you felt yourself hit the back of someone’s chest. You wanted to turn around, but you couldn’t move. Two arms arose to your ears on both sides of your head and pulled the cloth out of them. Then one arm wrapped around your throat and put you in a chokehold while lips quietly sung in your ear.

“Dead men tell no tales.

Ugly men raid our seas

So we tear their sails

And hear their begging pleas.”

A mate saw you in danger, so he began to run towards you. The figure who grasped you hissed at him while his eyes shriveled, veins protruded, and fangs threatened. The mate didn’t back down, so the stranger put you down and lunged at him. He quickly sank his fangs into his shoulder and tore a bite right through him. The mate cried before he was pushed overboard.

You tried to flee in the distraction, but you weren’t fast enough. Furious at your attempt to escape he continued to sing as he stalked towards you.

“Dead men tell no tales,

But you my sweet

Are beautiful as my scales

You’ll stick around as my treat.”

He grabbed you by your arm and pulled you toward the ship’s main deck. You were confused by the man’s ability to walk if he seemed to be the same creature as the ones in the water. Your head hurt too much to fully wrap the idea in your brain. Another mate tried to go for the enemy, but he was knocked to the ground.

“W-what is g-g-going on?” You tried to speak, but you only stuttered the words.

“My name is Hyunjin, and you attacked my kind. That does not go without punishment.”

He pushed you overboard into the water before diving in right behind you. You swam to the surface as best as you could until you were pulled underwater by Hyunjin. His legs were gone, and they were replaced with an abstract tail. It was a warm brown color with hints of crimson red and golden yellow. Though he was a being that belonged to the sea, his tale resembled fire with its colors and extension fins like that of a betta fish. The colors felt inviting.

He placed a kiss on your lips which then gave you the ability to breathe without worry. You tried to fight against him, but once he began to sing with his beautiful voice you were lost again. You stared blankly at him as he took your hand and swam away with you, leaving the war to finish itself without guidance.

Hyunjin swam towards a vacant grotto where he laid your body on a rocky surface. The grotto was his secret hideaway. The only life around it were the fishes and the plants that danced in the water. Hyunjin kept his tail in the water while he laid his arms on the rock staring at your unconscious body. He couldn’t help himself. There was something about you that captivated his attention. Your breathing was calm, you felt lost. You couldn’t think proper thoughts, and you were lost in a void where there was everything and nothing at the same time.

He wasn’t sure what it was. There was something about the way you lead your ship through the mist, thinking you were being strategic, but he stalked behind the ship the entire time. He grabbed onto the side of the ship, beginning to climb his way onto it and watching the scenes unfold. He noticed you were teetering while you ordered your crew around. He could tell you weren’t entirely there. There was a feeling in his stomach that made him want to help. He felt compelled to aid you. He wasn’t sure if it was your bravery for willingly going where every man fears or if it was because you were the most beautiful face he had ever seen. Even though he was and lived amongst a species that matched the beauty of gods on earth, no one looked as beautiful as you.

He was supposed to be the one who lured people into his trap. That was what being a siren was about. He wouldn’t sing so beautifully if it wasn’t for that. Even before he was trapped in this cursed body, women would swoon over his artwork. Every woman would look at him lustfully, some of them were quite attractive, but no one was ever able to catch his eye. So, why are you, some pirate trying to kill off his kind, making him feel ways he has never felt before? That wasn’t fair. That defeated the point of all of this!

He found himself caressing your head softly, staring at the way the water soaked clothes clung to your body accentuating every nook and cranny of it. His body tingled in ways it hadn’t in awhile. Excitement filled his face while he watched you breathe steadily. There was something about the way you were under his spell, under his control, that turned his brain to goo. His mouth began to water, his face felt hot, and his head started to ache at the uncontrollable feeling of wanting to touch you and make you scream his name, but instead of begging for mercy to live you’re begging to have him touch you more and more. The thought alone made him groan.

You began to wake up from your hypnotic state, stirring slightly, eyes blurry, blinking back to reality only to be met with the high ceilings of a cave and an uncomfortable pain in your back from lying on dirt. Human nature made you want to bolt upright and run, but your pirate nature wanted you to remain calm, find a plan, and escape danger without causing a disaster. You laid there, eyes open, trying to avoid the small sounds of splashing water and the glaring gaze of your captor’s eyes digging into the side of your head attempting to read your thoughts.

“I know you’re awake, Captain.” He taunts you with your title. “For the Captain of a ship, you’re certainly pretty inferior and weak right now.”

You grunt at his comment, starting to haul yourself up to find a way out of this mess. As you stand, you’re immediately stopped when a blissful tone reaches your ears, and once again, you don’t have control over your own body. You can feel it. You can feel yourself wanting to resist but being unable. Hyunjin speaks.

“Ah ah ah, darling. Lay back down. We are not finished here. I told you that you’d be punished.”

His words made chills sprint across your spine. Your cold, goosebumped covered body felt warm from nothing, and you felt yourself melt back to the ground. You turned your head towards his, and he lifted himself out of the water and hovered over you when his tail became two long, clothed legs. He looked at you too, and you daringly stared into his eyes. Within them you saw lust and desire, nothing more and nothing less. Well, there was something more, but you couldn’t decipher it.

Hyunjin bent down and crouched next to you, cupping your cheek and gently caressing his thumb over reddening skin. He stared into your eyes, reading them, finding your scrambled thoughts.

“You need to be good and listen to me. I can’t keep making you listen to me by using my voice, but if you make me, then I will. Am I understood, Captain? Nod your head if you understand, pretty girl.”

You nodded your head. You did understand, but the nodding of your head was not on your own free will. His touch made you burn more. There was something about his over looming presence that made you feel small. One thing you always hated was the belittling you dealt with when it came to being a woman in a pirate’s life. Always trying to act above you when you know damn well it’s for their own ego. However, Hyunjin was alluring to you, equally as much as you were to him. There was something about his confidence and dominance that made you horny instead of angry. Maybe it was because it wasn’t his ego talking, it was just who he was. He knew he was in control here, and that’s why he didn’t feel nervous around you. The other men who made comments towards you always ended up being the weakest. Not Hyunjin though, nothing about him seemed submissive.

The horrible feeling in your stomach never subsided. It grew even more in the position you laid in, and you started to wonder if the wetness in your panties is more than the wetted undergarments from being dragged through the sea like a monster’s prey. Maybe the horrible feeling in your stomach was just your gut feeling telling you to get dicked, and there was something about the nearing presence that made the feeling grow.

Sirens, you think to yourself, are lust filled devils that overwhelm one’s desires when they approach them. Their songs do not force falsified love into someone, but overpowers their primal desires more than they can bear, weakening them, and taking them as food. But why do they want to hurt us, and the sighted mermaids want to help us?

Hyunjin sang another tune, but it made the hypnotic effect wear off, almost like an anecdote. You didn’t move, too afraid for your body to not be your own anymore.

“Tell me, Captain, do you want me?” He asked boldly.

You looked him deep in his eyes. You wanted to deny it, you really did, but just as they claimed, he was as beautiful as they came, more than likely the most perfect one, even beating the gods’ beauty. You wanted him in many ways, and he wanted you all the same. Like the bold pirate you were, you spoke up.

“Yes, I do. Do you want me?”

“Yes, surprisingly I do.” He wasn’t lying. You knew it, you could read lies, and even if it was in his powers to be able to lie without getting caught, this seemed too desiring to him. His breathing was barely steady at the start. He was struggling to hold back.

He moved to plant himself between your legs and then moved his hand to your neck and applied pressure to the sides of it carefully, taking away some air, but not a lot. You gasped, trying to take back all the air he cut off but failed.

“It actually pisses me off how much I want you. Do you know what I’m supposed to do with invasive pests like you?” He leans in closer.

“I’m supposed to rip you apart, limb from limb, and drag you down in the deep to eat you…”

He comes closer, grip tightening, his mouth right to yours, hovering above it just barely.

“But something in me, something about you, makes me want to rip you apart for my own sake, and I want to hear you cry my name while I do.”

He releases your neck and puts his lips to yours. As he makes contact, you kiss back. He isn’t sweet with it, you aren’t either. His kiss is rough, teeth hooking onto your bottom lip and tongue prodding its way into your mouth while he uses one hand to hold himself up and the other to roughly massage your breast while he rolls his hips between your legs to give your clit the smallest bit of tension. He rolls over with a rhythm, enough to make you let out small, pleading whimpers. He smiled, hearing you fall apart on nothing when he’s just begun.

He moves, and he begins to peel off the damp clothes from your body. You want to shiver, you want to be cold when your entire naked body is exposed to the elements, but it only burns. You can barely think, and it’s no longer the lack of air’s fault or Hyunjin’s songs. It’s just how horny you are for this angelically handsome devil. He takes off the rags that hide him as well. The sight of his slightly toned chest and thin stomach fills you with more desire than before. Then he removes his pants, and that makes your pussy throb the most.

He leans back down to you, except he faces your core, and leans in for a meal. The spit from his tongue meeting your untouched folds makes you shudder, and you grab his hair and pull him closer on instinct. His tongue licks in and out of your vagina and messily makes his way to your clit where he sucks on it and nips on it slightly. Your sensitivity is so intense that you feel yourself leak a bit more over his face. He continues his assault on your clit while his hand makes his way to tease around your hole before entering one finger, and a few thrusts later adding a second.

“Hyunjin, fuck-” You moan while he continues his actions. He takes his mouth off of your clit for a moment to say, “Good girl.” You gush at the nickname and turn your head to the side to hide from how excitedly the praise made you feel.

The knot in your stomach was ready to be untied. Your quiet whimpers and moans got louder and increased, which signaled him to pick up the pace a little faster.

“Whenever you’re ready. Just sail with the wind, Captain.”

As soon as he said that, you released onto him and rode out your high as he calmed his movements before pulling away. Your eyes felt heavy, your body felt relaxed, but you didn’t want to stop there. Hyunjin didn’t either. You fell limply onto your back when Hyunjin moved himself from you.

“Hey, there, pirate, we aren’t done with this voyage of ours yet.”

Looking down at you, he bent down and picked you up by your hips, moving you to sit in front of a rock on your knees. The rock was at your eye level. Hyunjin sat on top of the rock. He slightly flinched at the coolness of the rock against his ass, but he warmed up to it quickly. He spread his legs, leaving his dick out, and the perfect space for you to crawl in and suck him off. You stared at his long, hard dick while it waited for attention.

“Hey, princess,” Hyunjin snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Get to it.”

You crawled to him on your knees, head bowing down in embarrassment, but Hyunjin grabbed the roots of your head and pulled you close to his dick. “Open.” And you did. You opened your mouth wide and took him in while he kept his hold on your roots for physical control. You bobbed your head up and down, moving your hand up to grab what you couldn’t reach, but Hyunjin stopped you.

“You’re a Captain, aren’t you? Using your mouth to bark orders all day? Not to mention how much you unhinged your jaw to take me. If your pretty mouth can do those things, then you can suck my whole cock without taking a shortcut with your hands.” He pushed your head all the way on his cock, making you gag, but he ignored it. He kept this up, barely letting you breathe. All he did was assault your throat with each thrust making him groan at your warm, wet walls that felt like heaven’s touch. You could feel your throat become sore, but you honestly didn’t want to stop him. There was something about the way he sounded and his control over you that made you want to please him forever.

Not long later, his groaning increased and became louder. He was going to cum soon, and you could tell when he pushed your head into cock faster.

“Fuck!” He moaned when he felt cum spurt from his tip. He calmed his pushing, but he made you keep your mouth around his cock until he was fully finished, then he withdrew himself and forced you to swallow all of it.

Drool was falling down your chin, your jaw and throat hurt, your scalp was slightly burning, but your eyes were glazed over, wanting even more of him. You felt like you were floating, the pain in your body making your pussy wetter. Even though you felt like Hyunjin was controlling your body with the way he used you like a toy, a new melody filled in your ears making the ache in your body reside. Each tune he sang seemed to do a different thing, but each of them were helpful in the situation you found yourself in. This tune didn’t put you in his control, but it rather settled you to be comfortable for what he was going to do next.

Hyunjin stood up and looked down at you while you remained on your knees. He brought his hand underneath your chin and forced you to look into his eyes.

“Tell me your name.” He spoke. His tone was stern. It wasn’t like the way he spoke before, this was a hard command. You weren’t sure why he was so stern about your name and not the intense oral sex you performed on him moments ago.

“It’s Syrena.” You lie.

Hyunjin grips your chin tighter and glares daggers at you.

“You’re lying. Tell me your name.”

“Ariel.”

Hyunjin pushed your head to the side harshly before bending down and grabbing you by the base of your neck and forcing you to look at him again. This time he’s much closer. He’s more intimidating this way, and you feel your stomach jump.

“Lie to me again, and see what happens. Tell me your name or I will leave you here to die.”

“My name is Y/N. Captain Y/N.”

“Now was that so hard, Y/N?” You glared at him, tempted to rip out of his grasp and kill him on the spot, but you didn't. You stayed put because your sinful temptations were getting the best of you.

“Captain, Y/N.” You corrected him. Even though he’s been calling you pet names since you got there, now you were starting to grow tired of his taunting and teasing. You let him have his fun, but now you wanted your respect back. However, you were basically willing to do anything for him to fuck you at this point, but you didn’t want to admit that.

“No, no, no,” He paused, lifting you by your hips again and sitting himself back on the rock. “You are no captain to me.” He sat you slightly on his lap, grabbing his dick and teasing your clit. Your arms were wrapped around his neck to keep you up. The feeling made you whine loudly. He smirked, slowly pushing his head into your soaked cunt until his long length was fully inside you. Your head fell back, and your mouth opened without control as you let out of the loudest moan you could muster. He used his hand to bring you back to face him and look into his piercing gaze again. Your mouth stayed open, moaning with each small thrust he gave as he pushed himself into you, but keeping most of his dick inside you.

“You are just a pathetic, cock-hungry, submissive, girl.” He said between his small thrusts.

“H-h-hyunjin, please.” You plead. He gives an evil smile and lets go of your neck making it fall back again. He stood up, holding onto you, bringing you off of his cock almost entirely before harshly thrusting himself back inside. You couldn’t control your reaction, even if you tried. You screamed in pleasure, the noises echoing off the grotto’s walls. He continued to plow into you, but it was enough to ensure it was pleasurable for the both of you and not just his own selfishness.

“Hyunjin! I can’t- Fuck!” You moaned.

“Yes, you can. Fucking take it.” He growled, fucking into you harder.

“Ah- I can’t, please!” The pleasure was insane, impossible to describe. Then, again, there was another new melody that rang through your brain, and you felt like you were floating. You were able to take whatever he gave you without worry, but the pleasure somehow doubled. Your eyes were oceans with the way the tears spilled from them each moment he didn’t stop. But everything was bliss. Everything was perfect. You felt more relaxed and calm than you ever had before.

Hyunjin switched the positions you were in, lying your stomach against the rock, and your ass in the hair where he entered you from behind and held onto you by your head fucking into you even deeper.

“My little pirate taking the cock of her enemy.” You wanted to correct him, tell him that your intention was to learn about them, not to hurt them, but that thought left your mind as soon as you had it. You couldn’t think. You were almost brain dead, only being able to feel everything he was giving you and more.

“I’m gonna cum soon!” You managed to choke out.

“Fuck, baby, me too.” He groaned back.

“Ah, Hyunjin, please, I can’t hold it.”

“Just a little bit. I’ll tell you when you can cum.” His stern voice was back, there was no choice whether you did or didn’t on your own terms.

He moved out of you for a brief moment and turned you around to face him. Quickly and carefully he picked you up and thrusted his cock into you. You shoved your face into his neck, kissing and sucking and biting him to bare the orgasm building inside you.

“Can I please-”

“Yes.”

As soon as you released, Hyunjin did too, fucking his cum into you while you moaned. He found your lips and kissed you while slowly walking towards the moonpool of water and allowed himself to fall in with you while you kissed him lustfully and passionately, and he did the same.

In the water, you were lost, eyes open, but not having control. Hyunjin’s presence was not absent from you, but you still felt sexual pleasure. You weren’t sure how.

Hyunjin was in front of you, facing you, and smirking. You looked at him, confused as to how you weren’t sinking without him holding you and without swimming. Then you realized you couldn’t feel your legs. You looked down, and your legs were replaced with a shining mermaid’s tale and extensions of a betta fish, just like Hyunjin’s, right in front of you. You noticed one betta fin of yours and his were connected. That was where the pleasure was located.

You wanted to scream and cry. Hyunjin could tell, so he came closer to you. He held your face in his hands again, stroked your cheeks gently, and leaned in to kiss you. You happily kissed back. Within the midst of your kiss, your tails intertwined with the other, and you felt like you were floating again, but this time it wasn’t Hyunjin’s range of melodies, it was a tone that felt like love. You felt whole and safe. You didn’t freak out about the mermaid tale that now lined your body.

Hyunjin moved away from your lips, grabbed your hand, and swam you towards the surface of the water. After breaking the surface, you began to speak, but he stopped you. “Don’t freak out. You will be fine.”

The second his tail was entirely out of the water, he had legs again, and he helped you out of the water where the same thing happened to you. Hyunjin grabbed you again, and held you into his lap bridal style while leaning against a rock. He looked at you, and you looked at him.

“Humans can’t have sex with mermaids or sirens without turning into one of us. It was a curse put on both humans and merfolk such as ourselves years ago when a human and a mermaid fell in love. However, a jealous sea witch grew envious of their relationship, and put a curse on mermaids that they’d become lust filled demons that killed humans that came near, and anytime a human had sex with one, their curse was to become them too.”

You looked at him dumbfounded.

“What the fuck?” is the only thing you can muster.

Hyunjin laughed and explained more in depth.

“I wasn’t always like this. I was a human too. In fact I was a painter whom all the ladies fell in love over. I adored it. I adored their attention. One day, while I painted by the seaside, I heard a beautiful noise come from the water. I discovered a boy peeking out of the water. He extended his arm to me, I gave him my hand, and he pulled me in. Then, things escalated, and now I’m like this.”

“But I still don’t understand the mermaids and sirens thing. And why’d you have to do this to me? What the hell.” You felt a lot of emotions, but you weren’t as mad at being a siren than you thought you’d be. Depending on the conditions, being part fish could help yourself as a pirate captain.

“I barely understand myself, but I’ll try to explain more. It used to only be mermaids. That was it. Mermaids are beautiful creatures that swim in the sea and have beautiful voices that can do all sorts of things like lure people in and make them feel better. However, mermaids were never inherently evil. Their songs were meant to lure people in for good things, like steering life away from dangerous areas. However, the sea witch’s jealousy got the best of her. She wanted to be the one the human fell in love with, but instead it was someone else. Blinded by rage, she cursed any mermaid who dared fall into the lust trap. Oftentimes mermaids are used to resemble purity because of this, and they distract themselves from carelessly falling into anything that can change that. The sirens curse, it wasn’t just motivated sex, it was killing anyone who tried because the lust was so strong. When the mermaid was first turned into this monster, she kissed his neck, but began to rip it apart. The sexual desires began to settle after the fact, like killing someone brought down the hunger. No one has been able to find an alternative. As for me turning you… I couldn’t help myself. Ever since I saw you there was something about you I needed. It ached, in ways I couldn’t explain, and I knew you felt it too.”

You stared blankly at him in disbelief. Then you spoke up.

“We weren’t coming to hurt you. My pirate ship is more of a learning experience. We discover things in the sea and tell others about it. We don’t harm anything, we just teach ourselves. Granted we know how to defend ourselves in an attack, but we came to study the mermaids, and we ended up in a killing trap. Now all of my men are dead.” Your voice turned cold by the end, just remembering the bloodshed of the battle you were ripped from for no reason.

“But you began to attack, don’t deny that.”

“It was self defense. We knew you were going to do something.”

“I don’t doubt that. Even though I haven’t always been a siren, I can’t sit back and watch my newkind get slaughtered. I will defend them, and now you will too. You’ll learn to.”

“Hyunjin, I didn’t want any of this.”

“But you were so beautiful, I had to have you. You’re mine; you belong to me. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be so off balance when I’m around, just like a bit ago when you lost everything the second I was completely near you. I hadn’t even started singing.”

He was right. You knew it too. He was the reason you felt off. He was the reason you were off balance and off guard and off everything. Now he’s the reason you’re part fish.

“You can go back to being a pirate captain, if you so please, but I am so deeply infatuated with you, I couldn’t bear you to go. I don’t ever want you to leave me, Y/N.”

It was the way he stared deeply into your eyes that made you melt. There was no convincing melody of his to convince you to stay, though you must’ve had that too now if you were one of them. But his eyes, his pleading, and the slight fear you had of him kept you put on his lap.

“Come, my treasure, explore the ocean with me.” He said, standing you up, and bringing you to the water, jumping in with you, grabbing your hand, and swimming off.

Your tail made you swim as a pace that was hard to comprehend. You were out of the grotto and near the island you sailed off of in minutes rather than the days of voyage you spent. Hyunjin showed you all about the water, pointing out friends and foe, things to eat, ways to improve your life as a merfolk.

Down in the water, the two of you faced the other where your betta fins touched, bringing you closer into a kiss. The two of you chased each other around, creating tiny waves in the water as you playfully messed around.

Resurfacing from the water and staring at Hyunjin, he sang,

“My heart is pierced by Cupid.

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me,

But my jolly sailor bold.”

You smiled, happy to hear this song that he sang often. He sang it about you.

But little did you know, that song is the only reason you stayed with him.

Hyunjin found you perfect, so beautiful that he couldn’t let you go. He knew you would've left the second you had the chance, but he can’t let someone he’s besotted by go, so he’ll do what he can to keep you around a little longer. I mean, he did tell you that bullshit story about sirens and mermaids. Had he been turned into a siren by a boy with a freckled covered face? Yes. Was that witchy nonsense true? Of course not. But if you believed him, who cared? He turned you into a siren on his own, so he could keep you around forever. He was going to have you no matter what.

You are his treasure, not any of the pirates, his.

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ladyluscinia · 4 months

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Draft clearing. I think I had more of a point on the topic of Jenkins and genre I wanted to make when I gathered these, but I'm not feeling it anymore. However, I need spread awareness of his absolutely baffling ideas about pirate media and how he sounds half-convinced it must be a formulaic action/adventure. I only picked up on this by reading way too many interviews back to back so I'm not surprised I've never seen anyone else mention it, but like. It's wild. And he's SO additionally weird about how showrunning a piece of media about pirates relates to whatever concept he has of pirate media in his head.

Here's the link to my interview compilation if you want to check my sources on these.

Jenkins Quotes on "Pirate Genre"

"I think actual pirate stuff is fine, but it's not necessarily my cup of tea. And I think Taika [Waititi] felt similarly.

[...]

Showrunner Jenkins sees Our Flag Means Death as having "joy. A lot of joy. I like Stede because Stede is, to me, the outsider artist of pirates. And I think in designing the show, I was conscious [of the fact that it's] a hard genre to do anything to. It's a very stubborn genre because it's been done so well and so often. So I kind of tried to look at, like New York, like Alphabet City in the '80s via a pirate genre via Mad Max and try to throw all these different things at it. So I think you'll get a different feel than you'd get on a normal pirate thing. I think we achieved that with our amazing crew." - (Gizmodo, 2/22/22)

"I guess I really… I get kind of bored. How much pirate can you do? They're going to rob stuff. They're going to steal ships. There's only so many pirate stories you can do." - (Collider, 3/24/22)

Despite creating a pirate show, he himself says he's not a huge fan of pirate movies. - (EW.com, 12/13/22)

"I don't want to see a bunch of pirate things that I've seen in other things, I'll just go watch another thing if I want to see that. That's not really my thing. I like the genre, but it's a very hard genre to budge. I want to see relationships in a pirate world." - (TV Guide, 10/5/23)

"The pirate genre is fun, but I wasn't dying to make a pirate show. Taika wasn't dying to make a pirate show. But the thing that was interesting to me was that Stede finds love, and he finds it with Blackbeard." - (Variety, 10/13/23)

"I think there is something in the show about how piracy is a brutal way of life. It's essentially Mad Max, this world. There's no law, there's just strong and weak." - (Polygon, 10/21/23)

"And it’s also a pirate show, so he’s got to die." - (Vanity Fair, 10/26/23)

"Another thing I love is what I call shaggy stories, stories about people navigating each other. When you plug them into different genres, you get this great engine that comes with it. I'm not particularly dying to write a pirate thing, but I want to write a bunch of characters trying to navigate each other in a pirate thing." - (Vulture, 10/28/23)

"But I'm like you. I'm not a big pirate person. In general, it's a big creaky genre that's hard to budge, but I think the show benefits from we can pull pirate stuff out when we need it. Ultimately, yeah, I want to see these different relationships and perspectives on different relationships. Then it's fun to plug it into an overwrought genre.

[...]

Pirates of the Caribbean, those movies are great. That's not necessarily what I hunger to see, but in that genre, it's great. You're not going to beat that, especially on something that's lower budget. We've seen a lot of this stuff, so it's fun to take it then and don't do any of that stuff." - (Metro Weekly, 11/1/23)

"I think it's more interesting to me that I've never seen a love story like this in this genre, and you dream for that. Really, pirates, what can you do that's different with pirates?

[...]

To me, to tell the story about these two men in this very hetero action genre, falling for each other..." - (Metro Weekly, 11/1/23)

---

...This is the same guy who just ended a season on the British Navy blowing up Nassau for symbolism reasons that I'm pretty sure have nothing to do with the love story. 🤨

#good news - his forest fight is probably not intentionally a weak parody of black sails #because despite being a known tragedy enjoyer i don't think he would watch black sails #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd piracy #david jenkins #i'll also do just to be safe #ofmd critical #even though this is 90% just pulling his own words together for you to make your own conclusion #ladyluscinia

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pessimistic-gh0st · 3 months

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Tori Spring Film List

(DISCLAIMER: In honour of Solitaire month, I created this list whilst relistening to the Solitaire audiobook. I'm sorry if this has already been done before or if I'm stealing anyone's idea.

This is a chronological list of every TV show or film Tori has mentioned she has watched or talks about – though for franchises, she isn't very specific with the details of which films she watched, so I left it to be interpreted. IMPORTANT: this is based on the audiobook of the 2015 version of Solitaire. This is NOT for the current version that is currently in print so if there are different films or shows I've missed that are in that one, please let me know and I'm happy to add them. Or if I've missed anything that you think should be added, please also let me know.)

Part 1:

Harry Potter (chapter 1)

The Ring (chapter 1)

The Matrix (chapter 1)

Juno (chapter 2)

Scott Pilgrim vs the World (chapter 2)

Highschool Musical (chapter 2)

Twighlight (chapter 3)

Donnie Darko (chapter 6)

Submarine (chapter 6)

The Simpsons (chapter 6)

QI (chapter 6)

Little Miss Sunshine (chapter 6)

An Education (chapter 10)

Big Band Theory (chapter 10)

Pride and Prejudice - 2005 version (chapter 10)

The Breakfast Club (chapter 10)

Adams Family (chapter 11)

David Tenant's Dr Who Episodes (chapter 11)

Beauty and the Beast (1991) (chapter 12)

The Matrix (chapter 12)

Lost in Translation (chapter 12)

Lord of the Rings (chapter 12)

The Royal Tenenbaums (chapter 14)

Waterloo Road (chapter 16)

Skins (chapter 16)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (chapter 16)

The Empire Strikes Back (chapter 16)

Dirty Dancing (chapter 16)

Amélie (chapter 17)

Part 2:

Pirates of the Caribbean (chapter 7)

Fight Club (chapter 11)

All three Lord of the Rings films (chapter 12)

V for Vendetta (chapter 12)

Garden State (chapter 13)

If anyone wants it to be on Letterboxd, let me know and I'm happy to put all the ones that I can on there too. Also for someone who doesn't like reading, Tori mentions quite a few books in Solitaire too, so if anyone wants a list of those, then I have no problem making one.

#tori spring film list #tori spring #solitaire alice oseman #solitaire #sprolden #michael holden #alice oseman #chronic pessimist #it's funny because it's true #heartstopper #osemanverse #heartstopper alice oseman #heartstopper tori #charlie spring #nick nelson #nick and charlie #becky allen #tori spring films #gh0st.txt

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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pt II priates of the caribbean but i've never watched it

honestly at this point there's no intro just have my dumbassery and blame the good omens fandom:

There are three genders, man, woman, pirate.

Jack Sparrow is not the main character, until he is.

Oleander Bloom plays Will who is an assistant blacksmith.

I misread assistant as assassin. I'm really sorry, Will. I'm sure you're a really sweet guy, Tumblr just ruined my reading comprehension.

Elizabeth likes pirates and stole gold, and is a badass who loves Will.

Jack Sparrow comes bobbing along to port and kicks his foot out.

Undead crabs sold gold coins and now are skeletons covered with fake skin but the bad Botox job falls apart in moonlight.

They want to put the gold coins back to either die or live. Which is it? I don't know.

Pirates are good, East India Company bad. Now that I can get behind for sure.

Jack Sparrow is sassy and has good eyeliner and kisses Elizabeth at one point but not like that.

Two men roll around homoerotically in sand. Or this could be from OFMD. Or Doctor Who. I've invaded too many fandoms. It's not from Good Omens, at least. I think.

The octopus is not C'thulu. He is Davy Jones's wardrobe.

I don't know what that means, either.

There are five movies but three (two?) have been politely disowned.

help.

#good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #jack sparrow #potc #potc fandom #pirates #pirates of the caribbean #piratas do caribe #idk just jabbing at tags coz I KNOW NOTHING #will turner #elizabeth swann #keira knightley #olleander bloom #that's not right #ORLANDO BLOOM #ah fuck just gonna leave that in the summary #johnny depp

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splishsplashyouropinionistrash · 10 months

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hello hello my loves, it's been a while since I've done a fic rec list and I'm feeling *inspired*

my qualifications are that i'm a loser and have read over a thousand fics so far in 2023

Was Sorta Hopin' That You'd Stay by jaydreamz (8/8)

Minyard Josten rivalry but they actually hate each other. They have a prank war. It's beautiful.

Eighteen Wheels And Three Beating Hearts by Autumnalpalmetto, IKnowWhoYouAre_Damianos (21/21)

Small town AU, Neil is a trucker with a son and Andrew runs a diner. So many found family feels, was giggling like a child the whole time. Connor owns my heart.

Die Free Or Die A Failure by Mickey_99 (54/54)

This one. This one!!! It's so good. Like, so good. It's a Raven!Neil fic, where Neil escapes the Nest and joins Kevin at PSU. It's super dark at times, but so lovely? The found family in this one is just *chefs kiss*

I Guess This Is Where I Say Goodbye by Artificiosus (2/2)

Listen y'all. I bawled like a baby reading this one. Full on ugly sobbing. It was amazing. It's MCD, so be careful. Neil gets in a car crash and calls Andrew, but Andrew doesn't pick up. The whole fic is Neil's voicemail and Andrew's reaction. It's so beautiful and so so sad.

Here And Where You Are by pentagrammed (1/1)

This one!!! It's almost sort-of MCD? But not actually. Read it, I'm begging. There's not much I can say about it without spoilers, so just... read it.

Dating & Other Disasters by lolainslackss, moonix (12/12)

Okok but this one. It's fake dating, the Foxes all go to a fine arts school. Neil is an actor and Andrew is a writer. It's so good !!! Andrew's poem lives rent-free in my head.

Murder Boyfriends by justadreamfox (3/3)

Heathers AU!!! It's beautiful, I'm in love with it. Go forth and read.

Better Than A Night Light by Ominous (1/1)

Literally 7k of fluff. Neil watches one of those alien horror movies and gets scared by it (but Drew is there to help, ofc)

Small Angry Gardeners by SensationalSunburst (8 part series)

Neil and Andrew's adventures in homeowning, gardening, meeting neighbors, owning animals, and other domestic bullshit. So fluffy, so sweet, so fun. Simply adore.

Heimkehr Means Homecoming by This_Witch_Writes (2 part series)

Cass is good! Andrew gets a mom! Family !!!! Literally so good, I cried a lot.

What Does 'Viral' Mean? by darkbluebox (1/1)

Kevin is a sports commentator after retirement, and Neil joins him for a game. So much bickering. Fucking hilarious

In Reel And Rout by maydaykevin (10/10)

Fantasy pirates AU. Vaguely Pirates of the Caribbean? So good though, oh my god. Andrew has water powers and shit. Neil is a pirate captain. I'm in love.

The Exy Team Is Nuts: A Survival Guide For The Uninitiated by Cute Negativity Cloud (Ofelia) (1/1)

The Foxes from the perspective of the other sports team. They have a whiteboard with rules for how to deal with them without being murdered/beaten up/insulted to death. It's fucking hilarious

Kill My Mind (Raise My Body Back To Life) by r3mus (1/1)

Ghostface!Andriel. They're murder boyfriends who kill bad people. It was such a fun read tbh

Queer Eye For The Demi Guy by neilwrites (13/13)

Neil goes on Queer Eye. The Monsters + Allison are the fab 5. it's wonderful, I love it.

Baby I'll Bleed You Dry by priorwalter (2 part series)

The Twilight AU this fandom desperately needed. In which Andrew is Edward, Neil is Bella, and many jokes are made. I spend a solid half an hour cackling

The Gaslights Burn Brightly by This_Witch_Writes (8/8)

Okok so Andrew and Neil were childhood friends, but Neil disappears one day and everyone convinces Andrew that he never existed at all. Eight years later, they meet again at PSU. It was so. Amazing. I love this author sm

A Dad By Any Other Name by SensationalSunburst (2/2)

Coach Wymack being a dad for 5k. That's it. That's the fic. (5+1 Wymack being a dad)

Called It Home by jingerhead (1/1)

Neil is spiderman. Spoilers for No Way Home. Guys it's so good !!

What We Ask by constellationqueen (40/40)

Neil gets hurt. Andrew helps him. SUUUUPER dark guys, like. Super dark. MCD too, so watch out. Really sad but so so beautiful, I sobbed so violently my sibling thought someone had died

The Suit Universe by marie_pothos (17 part series)

Ohhhhhh my god THIS ONE!!! My all time fave series. It's a popstar AU, but Neil is basically Taylor Swift. It's all based off of Taylor Swift songs. Absolute must read, even if you don't like TS that much. It's so beautiful, and funny, and so so sweet, and just- I could go on forever about this one.

Shake My Tomb by exactly13percent_OLD (hymbeaux) (10/10)

Butcher!Neil (sorta). kevin goes to Neil for protection from Riko, so neil goes to PSU. So beautifully written, I just re-read it today. It's so good guys.

Take To The Wing by iceEckos12 (20/20)

Neil signs the contract during his Christmas at Evermore. Surprisingly fluffy for a Nest fic, and there are some absolutely wonderful OCs. I would die for Joshua.

Something In Return by reaching_my_summit (10/10)

Neil and Andrew go to Disney World. That's the whole fic. Tooth-rotting fluff, it's amazing

Funky Happenings With The Fox Family by dobbypussypopper (27/27)

THE Fox group chat fic. It's fucking hilarious, I laughed so hard I started crying.

The Marks We Make by Fortheloveofexy (11/11)

Soulmate AU. Guys, this fic. It's one of my favorites. I reread it all the time. It's so good, and so sweet, and just UGH. I adore it so much.

Falling. by Idnis (16/16)

Art School AU where Andrew is a photographer and Neil is a painter. It's so poetic and beautiful, I'm begging you to read it.

Too Gay To Function by gluupor (1/1)

Mean Girls fusion. Andrew is Regina George. Enough said.

And there you go! This is a very very small fraction of the fics I've read this year, so obviously I have more if anyone's interested.

Go forth and read !

#aftg #tfc #all for the game #the foxhole court #andreil #aftg fanfic #aftg fic #aftg fic recs #splishsplash originals #splishsplash recs

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honourablejester · 8 months

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I'm not sure what I've been watching that made youtube decide I needed to rewatch large chunks of Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End, but in reference to this scene:

youtube

I think we can all agree that, whatever your opinions of the third POTC movie,

a) Barbossa is the best character in this entire franchise

and b) this is the best wedding scene ever put to screen

#potc #at world's end #hector barbossa #elizabeth swann #will turner #getting married by an ex-ghost pirate #in a sea battle with fish men #in a maelstrom at the end of the world #you can't get better #absolutely perfect wedding a+ most badass #Youtube

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theliterarywolf · 3 months

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I feel awful for the people who worked on Hazbin Hotel. First, it’s been the punching bag of Twitter for a couple years now and when it finally comes out everyone is either using that 50,000 dollar porn thing to mock it or just completely trashing the show. Anyone I see on Twitter who does like it has their opinion completely discarded if their tweet about liking it gets too far out of their circle

I can’t imagine my passion project starting off with that much support and then when it’s released is instead shit on by what must seem like millions of people

Anon, can I tell you something? Come here.

I know it's been a while since the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (especially since it was back in the 'making movies not only to make money but to also have a mainstay in the cultural zeitgeist' era), but I'm not sure if you remember a certain scene.

youtube

"You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of." "...But you have heard of me."

Every person who creates, be you an artist, a writer, a filmmaker, actor, musician, whathaveyou, who also strives for recognition knows that success and popularity isn't just a game of creating a following of incessant praise.

You will get some negative pushback. That much is inevitable. Hell, even if you create something as mundane as singing about how much you like girls as a straight man, that can bring in swathes of critical reception and memeing.

So, Hazbin finally releasing? Of course there's going to be people who have a critical impression of it. However! Critical doesn't always come from a negative place.

When it comes to creators, we actually strive for critique. Any creator worth their merit should always strive to become better and, in order to do that, you need to kind of feedback that can only come from a third set of eyes.

However... The field of critique often gets swamped with people who want to exhibit sour grapes and, despite what they think, continue the reach of early 2000s review-culture (i.e.: nothing but negativity and complaints because you're so smart and aware, unlike all of the sheep that call themselves fans~)

That's when I get frustrated for creators who make it big. Because how are they going to legitimately improve when they are inundated by nothing but sour grapes and purposeful discarding of media literacy?

But, I will end with this and it ties back into that scene mentioned above: the ones who have done nothing but complain and be negative and harp on and on? Even when they themselves will insist that no one should watch shows like this or give them any attention?

'This is the worst show ever! Everything about it sucks! I'm going to sit here and list everything bad that I encountered while watching!' '...But you did take time out of your day to watch.'

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illtakeyoutowonderland · 10 months

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The One (Part 16)

The one with the silence

Sihtric x Reader

A/N: Ragetti is the name of the one-eyed character from The Pirates of The Caribbean. You'll know what I mean! I left a picture for reference at the end of this post :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N said her goodbyes to Thyra and Beocca, telling them she was tired and that they should stay and enjoy the party once they tried to leave with her. She walked toward the entrance of the palace when she found Steapa sitting in the garden, having a drink by himself. He saw her and gave her a nod as he stood up, clearly not expecting anyone to catch him sitting alone away from the party "Lady"

"Aren't you supposed to be guarding? Inside?" She asked him with a smile

"I just needed a minute from all the..."

"Royal drama?" She raised an eyebrow and he nodded while they shared a laugh

"Are you leaving already, Lady?" He asked and she nodded "Let me walk you. I could use the air" He said before she could protest.

So both of them made their way back from the wedding to the ale house, where Y/N knew she would find Finan, Osferth and Sihtric drinking. Steapa walked next to her and Y/N was glad she got to share the walk with him. He was a very funny man, he had make her laugh almost all the way, her laughter earning the attention of her friends once they got there, only to be greeted by a very annoying Aethelwold who walked to them as soon as he saw her

"Lady Y/N. I've been looking for you at the party" He said and her friends looked between the pair, confused

"I can make him disappear, Lady" Steapa whispered to her only which made her laugh "Just say the word?" He begged for a reason to punch the man but they both knew it wasn't the ideal way to behave and that it would only creat more chaos

"I'm fine, my friend" She said to him with a smile "Go enjoy the wedding"

"Lady" He said nodding at her before going back to the palace, not without sending a warning look to Aethelwold

Y/N sat next to Finan and Aethelwold boldly sat across from her, next to a very annoyed Sihtric who looked at him but Aethelwold decided to ignore him "Why is the weasel looking for you, Y/N?" Finan asked but she only shrugged as she poured herself some ale

"The weasel has a name, Irishman" Aethelwold replied rolling his eyes

"So you do consider yourself a weasel" Osferth said making everyone at the table laughed, except for Aethelwold

"Said the bastard child..."

"Hey! You better watch it, Ragetti" Y/N sternly said slamming her cup on the table and pointing at Aethelwold "You will not talk to my friends that way" Everyone stood silent for a few seconds, surprised by the way Y/N had reacted and defended Osferth. But she hold the one-eyed man's gaze, daring him to say something other than an apology

"My apologies, Lady" He said smiling at her in an attempt to make himself believable "It seems I may have drunk too much already and I lost my manners" She didn't believe him, no one did. But she said nothing else

"Who's Ragetti?" Osferth asked and Y/N rolled her eyes but laughed at her friend's confusion telling him he would tell him later

"I must say you have a beautiful smile, Lady" Aethelwold spoke again

"Okay...?" She replied sipping from her cup and she looked over to Sihtric who only shrugged at her

"What is it you want, Aethelwold?" Finan asked annoyed at the man

"All I want, Finan, is to get to know the Lady better" He explained "Is that a crime?"

"What if I told you she is already taken?" Finan said to him and a frown appeared in both Y/N and Aethelwold's face

"She is?" He asked clearly not believing him

"I am?" Finan gave her a look "I am" She stated to the man

"By God" Osferth added, catching up with the joke

"Ah, yes, God" She said as she looked up to the sky "My one and only true man" Finan snorted, Osferth smiled widely and even Sihtric couldn't contain his laugh. It was pretty obvious they were messing with Aethelwold, and he might be annoying but he wasn't that supid. He knew what was happening so he eventually got up from the table to leave

"It was lovely to meet you, Lady" Aethelwold said and Y/N gave him a weird smile "Hope I will see you again, soon" And with that he walked away from the table ignoring the other men sitting with her

"What's with you and the royal family?" Finan asked her after a few seconds

"I have no idea" She said as she shrugged "Maybe I am meant to be royalty. I know I am a princess at heart, at least" She joked and everyone laughed, Finan pouring the last of the ale on his cup

But Y/N took the cup away from him "Do not" He stated as he tried to take it back but she was faster, slipping away from her sit next to him as she drunk it all in one sip earning a laugh from anyone but Finan "She always does that" He mumbled as she sat next to Sihtric this time, for protection against her grumpy friend "You are paying for the next jug, young lady" He said pionting at her

"Princesses do not pay" She scoffed with too much confidence "Also this princess does not have any coin" Osferth smiled at her friend and Y/N felt Sihtric's body shaking next to her chuckling at her words.

"This princess needs to learn how to braid her hair" Sihtric said to her as he touched one of the few braids along her long hair. Y/N heart skipped a bit when he had called her princess, already feeling a little blush on her cheeks

"Oh, I know how to" She said not pushing his hand away from her "I'm just lazy" She shrugged and smiled at him playfully. A smile he returned and she wondered how she had not melted already. He hold her gaze and for a second she felt as if it was only the two of them...

"Sihtric?" A new voice broke them from their little moment and they looked over to the source of the voice only to found a woman standing close to the table. Sihtric's frame stiffened, his hand falling from her hair and everyone's smile fade away "Can we talk?" She looked uncomfortable, nervous even. A few awkward, and silent, seconds went by before Sihtric got up, saying nothing, and followed her away from the ale house and into the dark streets

"Who is that?" Y/N asked her friends and she noticed the uncomfortable look Osferth and Finan shared with each other

"That's Sigdeflaed" Osferth replied to her "Sihtric's almost wife"

"Osferth" Finan said sternly, clearly he had given too much information

"Oh" Y/N said softly, realizing there was much to the story she thought "I didn't know he almost got married"

"It is not something he enjoys rememebering, Lady" Finan said to her as he grabbed the empty jug of ale and got up from the table "There is a reason he does not speak about it. And it is not our story to tell" He said to Osferth who looked down at the table and nodded at his friend's words

Y/N really really wanted to ask. She consider pushing Osferth about it once Finan drop drunk on his bed, but decided against it. It felt wrong, Sihtric would tell her if he wanted to, right?

A few days had passed and she noticed how Sihtric's interactions with her had diminished noticeably. He hadn't made any comment on what happened or what the woman wanted, at least not in front of her.

"It'd be months before Edward's king" Finan said as they all sat together at Beocca's place. But Y/N was once again not paying attention but watching over Sihtric, wishing she could read minds so she could figure out why on earth the quietest of men had gone even quieter when Thyra entered the house

Y/N touched slightly Hild's arm, both women noticing Thyra's upset state. They both walked toward the red haired woman and saw the tears on her face, Hild did not doubt when she pushed her in a comforting hug while Y/N made a signal to the men "Thyra?" Said Beocca realizing something was going on "What is it? Why the tears?"

"I'm going to fucking kill him" Y/N said grabbing her knife after Thyra had told them between sobs what just happened with a man name Tidman on the streets

"Not if I kill him first" Beocca mumbled as he stormed out of the door

"Wooah, easy there" Finan said as he took the knife from her hand "You are not killing anybody"

"Y/N no" Thyra said stopping her from arguing with Finan "If you go it will put a target on your back"

"She is right" Uhtred agreed "You already stand out too much"

"I do not" She replied rolling her eyes and everyone gave her a look "I do?"

"Please stay" Thyra said and once again Y/N did not have the heart to tell her no, so she stayed. She sat next to her friend as the men started to follow Beocca to prevent him from doing something stupid or for backup, Y/N was not sure. Sihtric gave her one final look before he walked out, Y/N missing it for a second as she looked up and saw his back towards her as Osferth closed the door.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Picture for reference of Ragetti, from Pirates of The Caribbean

@secretdreamlandmentality

@superawesomegeek

If you wanna be tag, let me know! 💜

#the last kingdom #finan #sihtric #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #sihtric x reader #sihtric the last kingdom #uhtred #uhtred of bebbanburg #sihtric kjartasson x reader #sihtric x you #the last kingdom fic #sihtric fanfic

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megumi-fm · 2 months

Text

this week fortnight on megumi.fm ▸ the last leg

is that a pun referring to my aching ankle? yes. is resting at home for another week gonna ruin my mental health? yes. but am I exaggerating and throwing a tantrum for something that's probably not a big deal? also yes.

📋 Tasks

💻 Internship // progress tracker ↳ biopython model replication ✅ ↳ code for obtaining single fasta from overlapping sequences ✅ ↳ running HMMer and superfamily script✅ ↳ output analysis 🔁 ↳ literature review on transport proteins 🔁 ↳ transport protein family analysis 🔁 🎓 Uni ↳ our paper is finally out! there's a doi and everything now <3 it's not open access though :/// I might do some totally legal things to ensure more people can read it ↳ collected the hardcopy of my LOR ↳ collected my gradecard ↳ visited my advisor and updated her on stuff 🩺Radiomics Project ↳ radiomic features finalized✅ ↳ data cleanup 🔁

📅 Daily-s

🛌 consistent sleep [14/14] 💧 good water intake [14/14] 👟 exercise [/14] just basic stuff to maintain ankle mobility

Fun Stuff this week

💗i went to uni to watch one of my friends present something to the juniors! then I spent the afternoon chatting with my guide and later on went window shopping with my best friends (in retrospect i should not have done this because my ankle got infinitely worse the next day and now I'm stuck resting at home for an additional two weeks) 🎮playing undertale with @muakrrr 📺 ongoing: Marry my Husband, Cherry Magic Th, Perfect Propose, Doctor Slump, Flex X Cop 📺 binged: Blueming, Roommates of Poongduck 304 📹 Started watching Going Seventeen // so I've been listening to SVT for a while now and I did watch their Don't Lie II eps like two years ago but I never really checked anything else... however, considering that I'm stuck at home and that @zzzzzestforlife (who has impeccable taste) has mentioned it often on their posts, I decided to check out GoSe properly and. wow. I started with their mystery episodes [fav scenes under cut] and now I'm watching GoSe2020 in chronological order and !!!!!! The concepts, the storylines, the acting, the humour, the editing, even the subtitles are all so so good. I've been watching this show for two weeks now and I am now officially a cubic <3

📻 This week's soundtrack

Wk1: The Best of ATEEZ // I've been real obsessed since their 2024 world tour clips started showing up on social media; I was a casual enjoyer up to this point and then I went and checked them out and it's all so dystopian and immersive. My favourites would be Intro: Long Journey (which makes me feel like I'm in Pirates of the Caribbean), the Symphony version of Wonderland (for its musicality and Jungho hitting those notes), MATZ (that is insane in it's the visual storytelling in the MV) and Wake Up (whose performance choreo ended me) Wk2: The Best of BTS // in an attempt to revive a project I abandoned a year ago, I spent wayy too much time curating this playlist to get the most satisfying BTS transitions ever and I can confidently say that I'm nowhere close to my goal T-T but I kind of like the way it is now so I am simply going to give up

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[Feb 12 to Feb 25 ; week 7+8/52 || this was not supposed to be one post but then... idk what happened... I feel very dull lately because of my ankle and just when I thought it was getting better it's become painful again... my friends and parents keep chastising me (and fairly so) for trying to move around even before I fully heal but patience has never been my strong suit. sitting still is really the biggest punishment for a hyperactive ADHD kid like me... i'm sure plenty others have it worse but... yeah... GoSe really carrying my mental health right now ]

my fav GoSe scenes

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 7 months

Text

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #edward teach #stede bonnet #crew of the revenge #archie #zheng yi sao #izzy hands #izzy critical #s2e02 #txt #mine #og #gentlebeard #ofmds2rwwiptjdmtaors

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dre6ming · 1 year

Text

Actors on Actors

The delicate beginning rush

Austin x singer/actress fem reader

Masterlist <all chapters here>

Instagram photo dump masterlist

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warning: none

Plot: you and Austin get to be a part of the series Actors on Actors with Variety and you talk about both of your careers and his upcoming movie ‘Elvis’

Word count: 5630

Disclaimer: everything fake

Intro

Y/n:

Growing up I was surrounded by the magic of Elvis Presley, I would listen to his songs and watch his movies all the time. You know even as a young girl I was immersed in his craft and then learning more about him, finding out how much he borrowed from black culture was a big thing. How did that play out in the movie? Are we going to see some of that? Because I don't think he would've been as successful or would've found his own voice had he not seen those gospel musicians in church. Because Elvis loved gospel music so much as well.

Austin:

So true, he did love gospel and jazz and blues, you know. He curated his own sound based on that and he was living in a time when those artists that he loved so much didn't really have a voice, because of their skin. But he did, he had that privilege, so he was able to take this beautiful sound, that not many people, back then, paid any mind to, because of who was singing it. He took that and he made it into a phenomenon. So Baz wanted that the be very clear and he wrote it beautifully in the scrip, I-I hope people like the way we brought that to screen. Because Elvis was in awe of that culture and it was crucial to his success.

*video montage intro*

Y/n: *nods towards him and smiles*

Hi Austin

Austin: * scratches his beard and smirks*

I'm so happy to be here with you today, truly.

Y/n: *blushes*

Aw, I'm so, so honored to be doing this with you! I was gonna ask what was it like being a kid and living next to Disneyland? I've never been there, but I've always dreamed of going.

Austin: * fidgets around with his rings, looking down*

Oh that's a good first question.

Y/n: *laughs*

Because it would've been the only thing that I thought about, if I were in your place.

Austin: *giggles*

Um that's crazy though, that you've never been to Disneyland.

Y/n:

It's like I would've skipped school, I would've- So what was it like?

Austin: * shakes his head in disbelief*

I did, I did... so my, um *licks his lips* my mom homeschooled me for a couple years in elementary school

*y/n giggles in the background*

Y/n:

Oh ok

Austin:

And so she would just say and even when I was in elementary school. She would say: hey you wanna take the day off school and just go to Disneyland

* y/n audibly gasps*

Austin:

She was the most fun mom

Y/n:

Aw oh my goodness

Austin:

So we would just go and we'd ride Pirates of the Caribbean or something like that

Y/n: *swoons*

Oh, god what a lucky kid.

Austin:

That was, a lot of my childhood, was wrapped up in that

Y/n:

I'm so jealous, I never did anything like that with my mom, I grew up in Brooklyn and I loved it, I really did, but the most fun I had around there was going to this old record store. And when I was really young, I used to come home from school, go into the shop and the owner and I would just listen to lots of old records. *laughs* since I didn't have any money you know, *Austin nods smiling* Frank, the owner he, he introduced me to so many of the classics and quickly Frank Sinatra, Aretha Franklin, Elvis, they became some of my favorites.

Austin: *hums*

That's beautiful, but I still can't believe you've never been to Disneyland. *shocked*

Y/n: *shakes her head*

I actually never went out of New York as a kid

Austin: *adjusts in his seat*

Wow

Y/n: *leans a bit forward, adjusting the neckline of her dress*

Yeah, no, my, my parents worked a lot, they also didn't make a lot *shrugs* , so for vacation we would just visit Coney Island for a day in the summer time.

Austin:

What about now, what's like your favorite vacation spot, I'm sure you've been on few.

Y/n: * crosses her legs*

I haven't actually, besides traveling for work, I haven't been on a vacation. Growing up in a middle class house hold, made me very self conscious about how I spend my money and I guess paying for a vacation is something that makes me a bit uncomfortable, even if I can afford it now. But I'd love to go visit Scotland.

Austin: *licks his lips again, listening carefully*

Oh I'd love that too, I've never been either

Y/n:

What's your favorite vacation spot?

Austin: *looks around deep in thought*

Ugh, I think Florence, Italy, I've been there, a few years ago, before the pandemic and everything, it was so beautiful, I stayed over at a Vineyard, it was so amazing.

Y/n: *pushes her hair behind her ears*

Still I can't move on, like I would've been all day: take me to Disneyland

Austin: *chuckles*

I'm gonna take you to Disneyland

Y/n: *gesticulates*

Can you? Take me to Disneyland! Please!

Austin: * laughs *

It'd be so much fun, let's go

Y/n: * holds her hand up*

I know, I want to go, pinky promise!?

Austin: * extends his right hand and intertwines his pinky finger with hers*

Pinky promise! You know I'm always curious for people who didn't grow up around Disneyland, If it would make them feel as nostalgic as it makes me because every time I go to Disneyland I feel like a kid again.

Y/n:

Ooh, that's interesting, probably it would, I don't know, I loved and still love Disney so much.

Austin:

Yeah

Y/n:

By the way, you looked absolutely phenomenal in the first Elvis trailer, I can't wait see it. Ugh

Austin:

Oh thank you

Y/n:

I was really blown away and as someone who's now, you know, stepping into the music industry and being creative that way, seeing another fellow actor, go that way for a role it's just made me... I ...I was- I was amazed, I was impressed. Watching you go into this character and have the stamina have the presence, the spirit, the essence of what I, you know, grew up looking around at, looking at Elvis, but bringing it and making it your own is no small thing. I have yet to play a character that requires me to do that kind of change but it must've been, it must've been difficult I, I imagine. And you had to play Elvis as a teenager tapping into that kid-like spirit, all the way to his passing.

Austin:

Mhm, that's *pauses* that was one of the challenges of it.

Y/n:

I was gonna ask you...

Austin:

We're shooting it out of sequence as well

Y/n:

Okay

Austin:

To lock into each period of time and know where you are spiritually and emotionally, in every moment because one day we're shooting 70s and the next day it's the 50s and then he's 19 or you know.

Y/n:

Did you did, you have to do a lot of , you know, cause I saw even with just how his physicality was, his body changing as he aged and got more mature from that teenage boy to the man we knew. Was there a lot of prosthetics? Like what was the physical transformation like.

Austin: *clears his throat *

Initially Baz, when we started working on it, he said we could film it in sequence, so we thought ok well I can take a break and I can gain the weight and do that, but then with Covid and everything the whole schedule got turned upside down *y/n hums listening closely* . So we ended up, working a lot with, you know, finding the subtle ways that you can age. A lot of that was, I had a movement coach named Polly Bennett that was amazing and she was great at working from the inside-out and that, that was the way that I knew how I needed to approach it. And so we could work on how your body changes with time when you start aging and he's performing and there's lots of movement, you know, I wanted to ask you, cause you did professional dancing for a while, cause towards his fourties' he started expecting a lot of pain and I felt that completely.

Y/n: * breaths in deep *

Yeah so for my first ever job, for the "50 shades after" series I had to do professional dancing for 3 years and I don't know if I ever expected the toll it would take on my body. Even though I was so young, I was 11 when I started and at 14 when I finished I had to go into a lot of physiotherapy, because my muscles and my joints, just hurt so bad. And even now I have to be extremely careful with the way I move around because I get this extreme back pain and my muscles get locked in, it's it's really not that great so yes sports is great, it's healthy, but performing and dancing are very different from just doing sports and it requires a lot of engagement from your body. I swim a lot now, to keep myself active and I have to watch myself when it comes to doing stuns on set.

Austin:

What's like the hardest stunt you've done

Y/n:

The hardest one wasn't necessary physically hard, but I needed a day to recover from it. So Amelia, the character I play, her death is mysterious she falls or she jumps from the rooftop of her high school and we had to film that and I'm extremely scared of heights and yes I was in a harness and there was a huge mattress at the bottom, but it was still so scary to do and I was so afraid of it and during the time that I was falling I would tense my muscles so bad that the next day I just had to take a day off because I couldn't, I couldn't get out of bed, because I had contracted my muscles so hard, it sent me into a fit of pain. How about you, how did you recover from the physical effort? Because I imagine that everything you did took multiple takes as well.

Austin: *looks concerned*

It, It definitely was challenging from many many points, I- I was always in the gym trying to keep myself fit, but I definitely did have days when I felt like my body would give up on me, but I pushed through somehow I did.

Y/n:

And did I, did I understand it right? That you actually did the 68 comeback performance first, that that was your first time in full Elvis costume, right? How was that?

Austin: * scrunches up his nose and takes a deep breath *

Oh my god that was so nerve-racking *y/n giggles smiling* because I had a year and a half before that point to prepare. And suddenly the moment of truth is here, where are you gotta go out and all the preparation is, it's for nothing if you don't get it right within action and cut.

Y/n: * nods approvingly*

Yeah, yeah

Austin:

And so before walking on the stage I had the terror that, what if I'm not good enough or if I go out there and I fail everybody? And my carrier feels like it's on the line in this moment right...

Y/n:

*whispers* I'm so sorry

Austin: *breaks a smile*

But ,you know, I thought of Elvis and the way his career was on the line back then and he had terror and so I could end up just living in that and realizing that fear isn't the enemy in that moment and that if you use it, is the same energy that he was going out there with and started channeling it into the audience. *he absentmindedly points around*

Y/n:

Mhm, yeah

Austin:

And then you see somebody in the audience really genuinely smile and then somebody else laughs and a girl blushing when you get their energy and you have the rapport with the audience. You actually performed live on stage with Taylor recently, right, did you feel that? Do you connect with people while they're in the audience? Do you feel the energy of that?

Y/n: *laughs nervously fidgeting with her bracelet*

Yeah you, you feel it all and you know Taylor Swift fans, they're just, they're so passionate about the music you're playing to them and it was my first time ever performing a song in front of an audience and nonetheless a song that I wrote, so I was so scared before I went out there and started singing. *Austin looks in awe at her* I was trying to talk myself up, but I was so so nervous and I almost had a panic attack and you know Taylor was there trying to calm me down, but nothing actually calmed me down until I was in front of the audience. I started singing and I saw people resonating with my words and with my energy and the way they were mirroring my feelings * puts her hand over her heart* it was truly just magical it's all I can say.

Austin:

Right, beautiful song by the way.

Y/n: *mouthing thank you*

Austin:

Yeah I was listening to it on the way here and in a weird way, I relate to it. Before Elvis I was in a place in my career where I felt like "at this point I'm about to quit acting". Because nothing out of what I had done until then really felt good enough for me to still stay in the business. My career, I never felt like it took off or anything so listening to you and Taylor saying about this fear of going out of style and becoming old I've been there and I felt like that. So what was the writing process for you?

Y/n: *looks up thinking*

Hmm... Well I was doing the background vocals for the re-recording of Red in January of last year and one day I came to the studio and Taylor was there strumming the guitar singing "nothing new" . But she only had the first verse and a few bits of the chorus and she wanted to put the song out because the fans had been expecting it, she had teased it before, so now she had to put it out and after listening to the bits that she had written I asked if I could take the song home and try to write on it. *snickers * Which was very bold of me, because I had never done anything like that before and it took me like two days to feel confident with what I had written, because I finished it the night I came home with it, but it took me some time to actually get the courage to show it to Taylor. And for me I didn't personally write from the perspective of someone who feels like their career is in jeopardy or they are going out of style. I wrote from the perspective of someone who feels like their youth and innocence are in jeopardy.

Austin: *picks at his chin, tapping his foot against the floor*

Do you feel pressure of having to grow up faster than you're ready to?

Y/n: *sighs looking at her hands, cracking her knuckles*

Yes I do! The media puts that pressure on me and on girls in general. A week after my 18th birthday I stumbled over this article on the Internet *whispers covering her mouth playfully* it is a dark place everyone should be wary of it, *speaks normal again* but I couldn't help myself and I, I opened it and I read it *pauses to breathe* and someone a man, a man well in his 40s, had written about me. It was an article wishing "happy birthday" to me, followed by the question: when will I play characters *stammering* characters who perform adult scenes on TV ? Will there be a "Fifty Shades of Grey" remake with me as the protagonist? Would I be down to film those kind of scenes and how soon should fans expect to see that from me. *hands shaking*

Austin: *leans forward taking her hands in his*

That's horrible

Y/n: *breaths*

And I don't know I felt just so humiliated and ever since then every few weeks articles like this pop up. I sat to close next to a boy, I looked way too comfortable with a guy and people start throwing around things like: am I dating? are we getting some action? feels so dehumanizing and it makes intimacy feel so filthy.

Austin: *pulls his chair closer looking her in the eyes*

It shouldn't feel like that, I'm a man, so in a way I've never experienced that part of media. But my past relationships have. I hate how easy people strip artists of their work and reduce them to a product. I watched "Reconstructing Amelia" three times so far and I have to say, you're performance was incredible.

Y/n: *sniffs breaking a smile and squeezing Austin's hands*

Thank you!

Austin: *gives her a toothy smile*

What was the preparation for that role like?

Y/n: *sits back in her chair adjusting her dress*

I read the book 1st of all and then it wasn't much that I needed to prepare for. I related to Amelia to a T, I also was bullied back when I used to go to public school and I felt how mean kids can be and I definitely felt pressured to do certain things to fit in, never things like what Amelia had to, but her story is meant to just shine light on something that's so big, that's so talked about , as well , but still it's so ignored and people just look over it you know.

Austin: *nods bouncing his leg up and down *

You also got to work with Orlando Bloom and Emily Blunt, what was that like?

Y/n: *tilts her head*

They're incredible and I'm sad that I didn't have more scenes with them because of the way we filmed the movie, we have the present time and the past time. The past time being Amelia's point of view, things that are happening at school with her private life and there's not that much interaction between her and her mother or her father and so I didn't really get to bond or work with them too much. There was also Covid that kinda of kept us separate but they both made a point to reach out to me and be supportive and give their advice and I got to see them at the Oscars again and talk to them for longer than I got to through the whole process of filming so that was great. *laughs*

Austin: *starts clapping*

I wanted to congratulate you for that, it was well deserved

Y/n: *blushes and tries to hide her face with her hands*

*Austin laughs at her silliness*

Y/n: *gets composure and clears her throat*

Yeah I - thank you! I can't even say that it was a dream of mine to win an Oscar. I... I have this thing where I don't even dare dream certain things because even doing that feels like too much for me, but it is nice to see my work being paid off in such an honorable way. But the list of nominees was huge and there were many talented names on it. By no means do I believe I'm the best out of all of them, but I am happy to have taken the award home. I am!

Austin:

I was rooting for you the whole time

Y/n:

Where you?

Austin:

Yeah.

Y/n:

I'll make sure to do the same for you next year and circling back to you, you sing in this movie, right? Was that the first time for you singing in a movie? What was it like, trying to sound like Elvis?

Austin: *blushes*

So flattering to have you say that, thank you, I’m excited to hear what you think after you've seen the movie. * scratches the back of his head* it was my first time ever singing in a movie or in front of anyone other than my mother or close friends. I worked with vocal coaches, because I have a similar tone to Elvis's voice but I had to work with it in a way that wouldn't hurt my voice, but I haven't seen the movie or anything other than the trailer and I don't know how it ended up sounding. I did a few tracks for the movie soundtrack, that will be coming out, but I haven't heard much of those either so I don't really know how it ended up sounding but I'm, I'm hopeful.

Y/n:

When did you first fall in love with music?

Austin:

I can't remember a time when I didn't love music. I got my first guitar when I was 12 and since then I couldn't put it down. I'm not shy about playing an instrument around other people, but my singing voice has always been an insecurity of mine because I never felt like it sounded good, so it was a challenge to break out of that shell. I think my love for music and for Elvis, as well, helped a lot there. How about you? How did you come to love music and song writing? Because you write a lot of songs and you have a song coming out soon.

Y/n: *crosses her arms over her chest*

I've always love music also and when I was eight I begged my parents for a guitar as a Christmas gift and I received one, but when I asked for them to take me somewhere I could learn how to play guitar that's where they drew the line and said “no”. So I had a guitar sitting around in my room for a long long time and I decorated it with Hannah Montana stickers. *Austin laughs clutching his stomach* Then I got casted in "50 shades after" and Jamie Dornan, who plays Christian Grey, is an amazing guitar player and I asked him if he could teach me guitar. Also my character, Phoebe, is a pianist, in the series and I asked if I could actually learn how to play the piano and the studio paid for me to have piano lessons and that's how I learned piano and guitar at the same time and now I also play the ukulele and I'm learning violin.

Austin:

Amazing. *mumbles the word “beautiful”*

Y/n:

And then songwriting... I've always kept a journal, always and I used to write these poems in it. Then I got to work with Taylor and saw how her poems were brought to life by the melodies she composed and I thought: is that something I could do? And now I have a song that's coming out and I'm excited about it.

Austin:

I'm excited about it too.

*both laughing*

Y/n:

You said there's a soundtrack coming out for the movie, I'm guessing Baz Luhrmann is on the production of it. Tell me more about him. What’s Baz like?

Austin:

He's incredible

Y/n:

A director with whom I hope to work some day. Meeting him at the met gala was so surreal, he's so nice and he had so many wonderful words to say about my performance in previous projects that I have done and he seems like such a wonderful human being and I wonder what was it like to work so closely with him. Were you a big fan of his before? Because I've always loved Romeo and Juliet ever since I first watched it when I was 10 and I adored the directing of it. Was there something in his style of directing that surprised you?

Austin:

I often say he is the closest thing to a jazz musician when it comes to a director, you know, other directors they are like classical musicians they have specific directions and notes you follow. Then you have Baz who does so much homework and his team does so much work and you have a year and a half to prepare for this thing and you show up to work and he says “ I just re-wrote this entire scene last night” and you're like a deer caught in the headlights because suddenly you have to re-learn what you've been doing for a year and a half and he has this freedom to him. He had this thing that he used to say on set all the time, that we are all a big family and there's no place for fear in art.

Y/n: *nods listening closely*

Wonderful, I hope I get to experience that one day.

Austin:

I really hope you do, he really brought me out of my hiding, I was so shy and he took me and turned me into this rock 'n roll star. But it was mostly about finding my sound, I didn't want to be just an impersonator, I wanted to do justice to the person and Baz played a big part in achieving that.

Y/n:

Was it hard finding your sound? To make it be like Elvis's?

Austin:

I worked with multiple vocal coaches, over the course of two years, trying to find my sound in Elvis's music. I hope we did it, as I said I've only heard what it's played in the trailer so far. But the sound became more fluid and a lot more easy to get into when I got to actually do it and be there in action, it was like when you finish school and you’re finally are in the world trying to show to everybody what you've been learning. What was it like for you to match your sound to Taylor, to sing backing for her?

Y/n:

I also worked with vocal coaches prior to actually going in the studio with her. It was my first time ever in a studio when I recorded with her and I was so emotional over it because somewhere in the back of my mind I think I always dreamed of becoming a singer and finding my voice around Taylor was the best thing I could've ever asked for. Her and Jack Antonoff are so supportive and so understanding. I have a very similar voice to hers if I try hard enough we almost sound identical which is part of why she wanted me to do the background vocals for her , but I have this thing where I can get into a higher vocal range than her and she can go very low where I can't and so we complement each other in that sense and it works very well, but I think I'm still trying to navigate my sound. I hope with future projects I get to play with my sound and adapt it to myself even more.

Austin:

Well I can't wait to hear more of your singing.

Y/n:

Thanks

Austin: *rests his hands on his knees*

I also had this amazing experience when we were recording in Nashville there was this old wooden church where we recorded some of the gospel numbers and there were 30 people there and I was the only white guy and I felt so out of place. But the moment they started singing and they just let it all hang out, I felt so welcomed and so privileged to be a part of that and I got to enjoy gospel music for eight hours straight and it was so beautiful how they transitioned from one gospel to another so smoothly. In that moment I really, really understood what drew Elvis in about those kind of sounds and music. I felt this electricity in my body and I always went back to that feeling when performing my scenes and every single time I didn't feel like that, I knew I was off so I always tried to go back there mentally to get myself into character.

Y/n:

That sounds beautiful. I had that for of the confrontational scenes I did as Amelia. I watched hours and hours on YouTube of female actresses having these raging screaming matches on the screen and I took note from that and from the feeling of how frustrated I felt for them. I was like these are fictional people on the screen and the feelings of rage and frustration that they are making me experience, I need to be able to do that and so I would just before we would do a scene where I have to fight with someone I would go back and watch some of those scenes that I loved so much. Actually there's one that makes me laugh now thinking back but there was that scene of Zoe Saldana in "Avatar", that rage she felt and betrayal, in the way she literally send it home to you through the screen it always touched me and I tried to do that.

Austin:

You were doing it. I'm here to say you were, there were times watching you do these scenes where I felt like I wanted to fight with you, on your side.

Y/n: *placing both hands over her heart*

Aw you have no idea how much that means for me. But what else did you do in order really buckle down and focus on the role?

Austin:

*mumbling* I'm so interested to hear your take on this *clears his throat* So during Elvis I didn't see my family for about three years because I was prepping with Baz in Nashville and then we flew to Australia and I had months where I wouldn't talk to anyone and when I did all I could think of was Elvis

Y/n:

Wow

Austin:

And so I was trying to do everything like him, my voice, my accent, my laugh so I don't think it was very enjoyable to talk to me anyway. I would talk to my sister and she'd be like

Y/n:

Austin what are you doing?! *laughs*

Austin: *also laughing*

Yeah yeah oh my, at first it angered me a bit, but with time I think I understood her. What about you, was there anything you did?

Y/n:

Yes I unfortunately also went into a period of time where I didn't talk to anyone for months. I went into this spiral, into this very dark corner of my mind and I- I was forced to pull myself out of there because I was not doing very well. I'm thankful to have people like Timothee by my side. He saw the signs of depression and then came to the rescue because I don't know where exactly the line between me and the character I was playing got so blurry that I couldn't feel it anymore. I was lost in this person who wasn't me, but was becoming me. So I don't think I was ready for that kind of method acting.

Austin:

I can definitely say that happen to me too. I got lost in Elvis, but I had Baz, who at the end of the day would always call me aside and be like: just go home and be Austin. I didn't listen every time, but sometimes I did and that helped a lot.

Y/n:

You also started acting very young like me, I watched you on tv many times, on Disney and Nickelodeon. What's something you took from those acting days and brought into the way you work now

Austin:

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but as a kid surrounded by adults who are telling me, teaching me how to work in front of a camera I just was so disciplined and I had this desire to be perfect and that's definitely something I carried with me. I'm not sure it's the healthiest thing though.

Y/n:

Oh I know that all too well *chuckles* I'm also a perfectionist, my whole life I've been one, it's not healthy, it gets the job done it gets rewarded, but it's not healthy for you as a person to always raise the stakes higher and higher and make the standards sometimes unachievable

Austin:

Sometime ago I watched a Ted talk where they talked about the difference between shame and guilt. I thought: how can I put that into acting. As I do with everything. Difference is shame is "I am a bad person", guilt is "I did a bad thing" and every single time I felt off I would just say to myself "I'm a bad actor". It was never about "I did a bad scene" , my craft was off, you know I always took it so hard upon myself but in the end what even is bad in art...

Y/n:

Right it's so subjective.

Austin:

So I'm working on just getting to free myself up from that, that weight we put on ourselves.

Y/n:

Well this has been such a crazy day, I'm so happy to have done this with you.

Austin:

Pleasure is all mine and I look forward to talking to you a lot more, I'm so grateful we got to do this today.

*they both stand up and hug each other*

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