#IM BEING SOOO AUTISTIC ABOUT IT ALREADY... and so is he... im so in love with him it aches hes Everything in the world.. hes so special

[karavery]

MAGIC, grey's anatomy headcanons

(extreme woke warning. don't like, don't read)

cross-posted from tiktok w/ minor changes... ignore all the anatomy mistakes pls this drawings like a Month Old. keep in mind i've only just started s11!!!!!!!!

MEREDITH - im not that big of a mer person actually, so i dont have a lot to say about her.

i think that she prefers men over women, but she would date a woman. i really like mertina + addimer i looove me some yuri

she's grown from her trauma but i think that it affects her so, so much than what appears on the show. she doesn't harm herself, but i do think that she's attempted more even after her first few attempts.

my fav mer ships are merder, mertina, and addimer 🙇🙇 I LLOVELVEOVOELVEL addimer that toxic lesbianism is Serious bro

ALEX - ohhh boy oh Boy do i have a bit to say about karev.

him having sex w/ the school nurse at 15 years old impacted him (hypersexuality) in a way that alex isn't aware of. (or, he probably is semi-aware of how it was bad, but he doesn't think much of it because he considers himself lucky.) (i could talk sooo long about how 15 was just a horrible year for alex w/ everything going on w him but theres alr too much in this post...)

pre-merger alex would not be out as gay (that is something that i have realized after ive drawn + posted this.) i think that he wouldn't necessarily beat himself up for being gay, but he'd definitely prefer not to be out. if it doesn't chip down his masculinity & tough exterior then yeah, be gay whatever. he's down with the rainbow. stopped dating guys after o'malley + percy died because he thought he was a dead boyfriend magnet (crazy gf lightning rod, dead boyfriend magnet. holy shit alex) he has s/h scars from when he was a teenager but has been mostly clean since. he jokes about relapsing to close friends, though.

fav alex ships are karevomalley, karev/avery, izzlex, Idk one big poly ship and karev and every man in the show

GEORGE - OHHH MY SHAYLA... MY SHAYLA...

autistic + adhd thing is mostly just projection. He is Me Cored.

he is SO Closeted its really bad. he is 100% ADAMANT that he likes women, which is why all of his straight relationships go wrong. Because he Doesn't Like Women. hes GAY.

his mom is. a devout catholic and he comes from a family of big burly turkey shooting men. he's already different from his family and peers, which discouraged him from ever considering that he was possibly (is) gay.

he dated alex karev methinks but it was more like, an on and off thing more than anything. i love to entertain the idea that him and alex were out and happy and jooyouss but the angst that i get from internalized homophobia george and alex is so, so much better. Dear other karev'malley (aleorge? gex? geolex?) fans Please please Please write more angst fanfics for meeeeeee :3c (oh i could talk about karevomalley for soooo long its really bad)

IZZIE - oh Isobel Stevens tehy oculd never make me hate you

to me, all of her relationships were comphet. her and alex were more of a, more than friends less than lovers sort of deal to me (love izzlex, though!) she didn't really like men, she sorta. forced herself to to me denny was a bpd attachment. i don't think that Anybody in their right, sane mind would cut and lvad wire, possibly KILL another person, and endanger their love for the sake of them living. ESPECIALLY for a man like denny. it was so Insane, and idk why people don't think izzie was somewhere on that messed up line, but god forbid a woman be crazy i guesss..

my fav izzie ships are cristina/izzie (dubbed cardiovad by me and oomf), izzlex, and storres........ Ohhhh how i love cardiovad.

CRISTINA - there woudl be world peace if she didn't kiss owen hunt and kissed meredith grey instead.

she's canonically dyslexic but to Me i think she is Autistic. her special interest is cardio surgery. she eats sleeps dreams cardio, she YEARNS to be the heart-in-an-elevator guy and probably had a really bad meltdown because of hahn not teaching her.

she comes off blunt or insensitive and has trouble figuring out other people's emotions/tones. i think that.. once she dates a woman she realizes "damn this is actually better than a guy." so she just stops dating guys. if it ever comes to it, she Can date a guy but like girls just do it better for her. she has so many lines about lesbianism like do you have something to tell us, cristina yang...

Her whole deal w teddy was so serious like trading owen for teddy is some QUEER stuff.

my fav cristina ships are tedstina, mertina, and cardiovad. Ohh i love tedstina the intense yearning they both wanted eachother so bad but they thought they wanted eachother professionally. Ohhh Ohhh teddstina

Yeah thats It i would Love to hear other ppls hcs/ships as well spread #peace and stay #woke karavery nation.

[numberonetacostan]

Ik this is random but I rlly like Fan autism hc and im DYING to see more. So I decided to ask one of my favorite tumblr ppl!

Sooo Do u have any autistic Fan hcs? :3

It’s ok if u don’t ofc!

Hi Oddessy!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in your request!! :]

Ask and you shall receive, autistic Fan headcanons!

-The few weeks after the s2 finale fiasco are the worst weeks of Fan's life. Because of now being homeless and all that stuff that happened, yes, but because Inanimate Insanity was his special interest. Oh my god. I'm not sure if others reading this have experienced this as well, but when there is something bad happening in or around my hyperfixations or especially my current special interest, it is terrible for my mental health. I despised the ending for my previous special interest and had a two week depressive episode because of it. I'd imagine Fan has a similar and worse struggle, since II is not only very much over, but he is not real, he just watched Test Tube die, etc., etc.

-Speaking of his special interest, consider vocal stims related to ii! Fan walks into a room and says 'Greetings and Salutations!' at least once a day. When someone asks him about something that happened prior, he'll go 'Last time, on Inanimate Insanity,'. II is his thing, of course he has vocal stims related to it, yeah? It's a bit weird for the others at first, since he's sometimes repeating lines they've said in prior episodes, but everyone gets used to it pretty quickly.

-Consider Fan's proclivity towards comfort objects, and then consider him buying inanimate insanity merchandise. I already like to headcanon Suitcase using some prize money to buy a bunch of contestants plushies of their friends/loved ones, but even if he bought it rather than Suitcase, I see Fan immediately latching on to his Test Tube plushie. Oh my god. He carries it everywhere like he carried around the baby Shimmer. He talks to Tiny Test Tube when regular sized Test Tube isn't around. He hugs it while he sleeps.

-Fan having trouble with socializing + inanimate insanity special interest = the first weeks of him being in the hotel are the most awkward weeks of his life. He's fanboying- he finally gets to interact with (almost) the entire season 1 cast! His idols!!! But he's so star struck and nervous that he hides in Painty and his room for the first few days because he wants them to like him and is so so nervous.

-Despite his team's name being the bright lights, Fan despises bright lights. His ideal work environment involves a dark room with the only light sources being his phone and/or computer. He'll get a headache if the lights are too bright! OJ may end up needing to switch out a lightbulb or two because of the issue.

[cconfusedkat]

My last wip ill share i prommy- it just motivates me to share stuff lkskfkskdjs

lesbian spider thinks about their crush for one second and gets their hands tangled in silk 💔 , Loser!I

infodump below bc it feels fitting on this postt wwww

Smth i find slightly humorous is that shamura was the pathetic one for the first few months nd then allure was absurdly even more pathetic and shamura was like "this is the most pathetic lamb i have ever seen. I must take them before anyone else does" (lies. Deception)

^cuz they were scared of relationships as a concept for years on end- allure was the one who initiated everything for years too Jskdkskdskdm they often had a guilty pleasure of reading shamuras thoughts and they found out how much they liked hxm and thats when hx realized Oh my gosh i can be so normal about this (chasing after them metaphorically and somewhat literally) (present: i was made for loving you and shamura darting their eyes away from this chasing lamb who is the gayest fucker they ever met /silly Allures gayness was too intimidating for that spider . Local lesbian spider meets pathetic lamb lesbian)

Grrrrr thats why i made never ever getting rid of me for them both , because Shamura is afraid of rejection thus never gave relationships a try ,, whereas Allure is the most clingy and lovebombing person in a relationship-

Resulting in shamura being often overwhelmed (in early stages at least) with how allure would frequently chase after them and make random ammends to talking to shamura any chance they got ,,,

"Wherever you go i wont be far to follow" and "im gonna love you so, youll learn what i already know: i love you means youre never ever getting rid of me"

Its sorta like how in waitress anyways- dawn being such a girlfail and ogie being the autistic he is and not knowing how to express his love for dawn <3 they r both so autistic to me anywaysss

Sooo applying that to shamura and allure ,, shamura is afraid of relationships because they never been in a proper one- but neither has allure!! Allure would chase after shamura in the goofiest ways possible , being the one to greet them each morning after sermons or little things like secret gift giving placed under muras door ,, <3 grrrgrgrgrr Sorry i am in love with the dynamic i gave them after building them up slowly 🥺🥺🤲🤲❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

However shamura grown used to allures funny yapping ,, they humor that cute lamb becaaause hx looks so happy to be there next to them in their prescence being acknowledged,, they like to fluster hxm any chance they get and catch hxm off guard because they!! find hxm cute!! Frankly thats a lot of their reasoning but of course they value other things in allure , they already admire the mask hx puts on for hxs followers for example- they just like that they can be the very few ppl who see allure in their real unmasked self <3 radhshdjrdhshrhhdrhshdh❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹☹️☹️☹️

[campbyler]

just read chap 9.1 for the third time already, I AM VERY MUCH NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS

so lets go, time for thoughts

LITERALLY DEAD PLEASE THE HAND DOWN THE STAIRS IS ONE OF MY FAV SMALL MOMENTS YET. MIKE WHEELER will’s heart is IM COMING FOR YOU!

THE HAND HOLDING IN GENERAL IN THIS CHAP!!?!?!!?? WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND IT’S KIND OF NICE KNDKSKXKXK.

MIKE PAYING FOR WILL??? I LOVE THEIR DATE THAT ISNT A DATE BUT IS DEFINITELY A DATE BUT THEY’RE JUST NOT AWARE OF IT

sure keep being in denial guys…

yeppp you def made will autistic again thea and so true

ALSO THE CASUAL AFFECTION IN PUBLIC THEY’RE SO IN LOVE

MIKE TAKING HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS IN THE MID OF A COFFEE SHOP “Let me do something nice for you” AND THEN KISSING HIM SOMEONE RUN ME OVER WITH A TRUCK I CANT HANDLE THIS

YOU KNOW WHAT, BETTER THAT I DONT GET INTO THE THRIFT STORE PART CUZ THIS WOULD BE WAY WAY WAY TOO LONG BUT THE GOD DAMN GRAVITY PART I GIGGLED KICKED MY FEET AND DEFINITELY CRACKED MY PAINFULLY DRY LIPS FROM TOO MUCH SMILING!!

THE MUSTANG!! okay honestly this hit very close to home cuz i have a very similar situation with my dad (a lawyer ofc) and his “EvErYtHiNg i PaYeD fOr iS miNe” sooo i fully get it and it felt nice having it explained so well.

OKAY IF WILL BYERS GETS BEHIND THAT WHEEL IM LITERALLY SCREAMING

ALSO IF IT HAPPENS THAT WILL ENDS UP DRIVING BACK (i rlly dont know what the US laws are for driving manual if u have an automatic license, but considering u guys let 16 year olds behind a wheel without at least a few months of driving school with a qualified instructor, im guessing not strict lmao) AND THE GANG SEES HIM IN THAT MUSTANG THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS

also rip his dignity, but it’s already kinda gone so i wouldnt be surprised kskdkskd

ANYWAY AMAZING HALF A CHAPTER THEA I LOVED IT

RIS DON'T MIND ME ANSWERING THIS JUST NOWWWW LOL...

the hand down the stairs moment makes me 🥺 i would personally pass away if that happened to me so the fact that will is still standing is insane. he is so brave. princess treatment fr <3

will is so clueless to not clock the fact that this was a date until the end of 9.2 like girl. be so fucking fr. that said he Is autistic (me coded) so i think we can allow him to live!! just this one time tho!!

i am glad that you ended up #living and #surviving for 9.2 considering your reaction to 9.1....so sorry that i took so long to respond to this that your predictions/speculations are no longer relevant BUT ty for the monster comment and for the love!! i am glad you enjoyed ch09 as a whole!!

[thegeminisage]

ok, now that i've watched all of tos (none of the movies yet...) i am going to do the top ten worst and best episodes, according to Me. they are as follows:

WORST EPISODES

10. the savage curtain - idk who thought putting abe lincoln in a cage match with the vulcan version of ghandi against like, ghengis khan and space hitler would be a good idea. but it wasn't. i did like seeing the vulcan father of logic though like "im gonna go sacrifice myself for peace" ok king

9. i, mudd - all of the mudd episodes are bad. he's not charming at all whatsoever. however, this one is better than the other one because uhura gets to pretend to sell out kirk and they're SOOO cute about it. her little giggle when he PICKS HER UP BY HER SHOULDERS and tells her how proud he is. PLEEEEASE

8. charlie x - the entire premise of this episode is that the bad guy is just autistic. and then they make him live on a planet without people because he can't adjust to normal life ???

7. shore leave - obvious racism of this episode aside, the faux-irish jig that played while kirk was being menaced by his extremely unfunny old bully nearly drove me over the edge. we DO love a good mccoy death fakeout tho

6. a piece of the action - if i had any interest in gangster films before this it's all gone now. that being said. i loved when kirk drove the little car. he was so bad at it. he was so happy.

5. mudd's women - like he's literally just selling women?? and the plot twist is that secretly they're ugly?????

4. who mourns for adonias - this is just "what if ALIENS build the pyramids bro" except for the 1960s. nail in the coffin for this one was kirk proudly declaring they didn't needs gods - because they already had the One God, thank you very much!

3. the paradise syndrome - WHY WOULD YOU HAVE NATIVE AMERICANS MISTAKE KIRK FOR GOD. WHY. like i know why but Why. i think the very worst part of this episode was that it had an amnesia plot that would have FUCKED if you had simply removed the people. if there hadn't been people in this it would've been in my top 10 episodes. i think this broke me.

2. the omega glory - this is the same as the last episode except there's no amnesia, and also the "native americans" are white cosplayers who worship the american flag and mistake kirk for god because he can recite the pledge of allegiance yes really. if i had a nickel for every time this happened i'd only have two nickels etc etc at least kirk didn't knock anybody up in this one ig

1. patterns of force - why would you make your two jewish leads wear swastikas and then literally be whipped by nazis. i know he's such a bad person but not even william shatner deserves that. number one worst episode everyone says it's omega glory but it's this one

BEST EPISODES

10. plato's stepchildren - this episode is hard to rank because like it's both good and bad. the torture scenes were genuinely upsetting, especially the ones at the end w/ spock & nurse chapel, because they weren't just violence being inflicted on tied up guys, but they were SUPPOSED to be upsetting, like it was literally the point. and also this episode bears the distinction of THEEE kirk & uhura kiss. literally historic.

9. the trouble with tribbles - i feel like everyone's heard of this but it really is as good as everyone says. sometimes 1960s humor doesn't translate to 2020s humor but it was genuinely hysterical start to finish. also, the distinct trilling sound was so imprinted in my brain i recognized it in the 2009 movie where i had never registered it before.

8. the naked time - aside from the KING SHIT george takei pulled with the fencing this episode also contains the "i am in control of my emotions [sobbing]" moment and kirk & spock LITERALLY having a slapfight. this episode has everything. an absolute masterpiece

7. the empath - i feel like this paired with "the world is hollow and i have touched the sky" really made me a Bones Understander. i feel a little bad about that bc everyone says the characterizations in s3, or actually that the season as a whole, is kinda shaky? but i watched without knowing that and i feel like i Get It now. also, this was the only score i went and relistened to on spotify

6. tholian web - the spock & mccoy episode ever. there's so many things to say about this from the death fakeout to kirk's little space suit but what TRULY got me was the instant and totally nonverbal agreement to lie straight to kirk's face to both preserve personal dignity and troll the shit out of him (while chekov and sulu are like also silently laughing as they listen in no less). what this episode made me realize was that it's a good thing they argue all the time and make kirk play referee because if they were on the same side kirk wouldn't stand a chance. like he'd be finished.

5. the city on the edge of forever - ok, so, this episode made me feel like i was having a mental break. the time travel. spock's little hat. when he watches kirk kiss edith and then goes back into their room to pretend he didn't see anything. mccoy and kirk basically hugging at the end when edith bites it.

4. requiem for methuselah - the first time i watched this i was kinda like :/ because how does kirk fall in love with a woman in FOUR HOURS? that aside the ending scene blew my tits clean off. i paced around my house for like 30 minutes going "what the FUCK was that" because i couldn't simply lie down and sleep after seeing it. rewatching the episode with uh. new context made me like it a little better. but even if it had been garbage the last scene shook me so thoroughly it would still need to be on this list. i'm getting wound up just thinking about it. number one most shocking tos moment.

3. the dagger of the mind - look, i understand that this episode was technically just run-of-the-mill stuff as far as everybody else is concerned but they put james t kirk in a little brainwashing machine. and the machine was shaped like a chair. and it gives people amnesia sometimes. i don't know how i'm expected to behave normally

2. this side of paradise - this is the episode where a flower jizzes on spock and gives him feelings. and look: it's really funny, and there's a lot to love about it. but the ending where kirk hurls verbal abuse at spock for a solid 92 seconds WITHOUT STOPPING followed by: spock beating the shit out of him until he gets his logic back. i have rewatched this perhaps 1,000 times at minimum. what the fuck were they doing

1. conscience of the king - this episode got me into this mess. i don't think i can elaborate further without significant self-incrimination. let's just say what happened was i thought "oh i'll just watch this one tos episode for context for the fanfiction" and one month later i'm writing fic about [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

ok, that's my list. i thought about doing honorable mentions for episodes that had scenes i liked even though the overall episode didn't make it into my top 10. but then i realized that would mean recapping basically the entire series and this post is already too long. i do have to give the pon farr episode a shoutout though because even though so much of it was offputting there was literally a titty window in kirk's shirt. like, it's the pon farr episode. ok NOW i'm done

[rockintapper]

i say stuff about rh characters part 2two

becuase. teehee

the fir1st one, the t3hird one

rhds tiem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!readmore jumpscare

yuka: wair i already d

that frog doll from the tutorial: I give!

note: the jumperrrr

widget: oh its you. yknow your older brother /gn akai mono likes to piss people off sometimes /silly

conductor: jj rpcker questions why you dont move and im glad i can answer her with "he does in megamix"

chorus kids: hi elleon the screaming screamers. theyre ltierally so sikly. but Watch Out

robots (fillbots): the snall one reminds me of coxmo. yall know cozmo? the lil guy and he had cubs that he plays with. and you cn like. and he. cost 200 dolar. the snall rovoNow i feel nostalgic

pop singer (erina): shhehehjdubdmyedrjguexrguderjugdexkvguuggxrwguvvjgkzhdvjgwxd

monkey (fan club): boy stop staring at me your judgemental ass lyour fuckin We're the best fanclSHUT yo stupid ass up fuckin banana lookin headasss i suppose you should jump off a cli

paddler: scare the shit out of me /half sily

blastronaut and shoot-'em-up radio lady: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

inturders: l + ratio + get blasted

captain blue bird: when i heard this lil shit go "STRETCH OUT YOUR NECK" the firsttime i was like WA IT THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHIGNG,,, WHHWHAHAYTFAFYA

the blue birds: ok actually. the enitre minigame takes me all the way back to the we are number one rh remix imm so df. s SADDACGFHEVVHG /POS

moai kids: doo-womp womp

moai bird: wait i though you were called seagullx

love lizards: Wonderful cnaracters, HHHHHHORIBBLE minigame. that is all. unles you uh. i mean. listen. leans c,oser to you. what if you flicked for each shake.

stomp farI HHEHDHHHHHJBJFXHEHBSDXJHB. GRABS HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM IT WAS OOONNNEEE MOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE OOOOONENEEEEEE MOOOOOLLLLLEEEEEEE

oh god the vegetables again: ok!

moles: pats your head. i know. hes very mean to you guys. i mean. like. i misse dlike One of oyu and stomp farmer gave me A GOD FORSAKEN ok. i know its not his fault its the games. judgement system. but the way he

tj snapper: me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic

tj snapper's girlfriend: me and the goofy guy i pulled by being autistic

the dazzles: stop staring at me im trting my best,,

munchy monk: i call him munchy in my head. he smiles SOOO WIDE in the battle of the bands audience hes so goofy i lov

dj yellow: SCRATCHO

dj blue: i. the lips. the lips. what have the done to you. its gonna be okay. i sure as hell am not drawing you with those big ass lips. hily s

taiko rally squad: DON DOKODOKODON DOKODOKODON kinda unfair how in the try again and ok screens this guy Loses. but in the superb screen BOTH SIDES WIN. PARTICIPATION TROPHY-ASS SHIT

research scientists of love lab: bi4bi. and if youre willing, bi4bi4bi.

the three synchrettes: alley-oop!

dolphins: oh cool dolphins :)

ecto: omg hiiiii helloo litle guyyy i wuv youuu ^_^ kises your snall tiny forehead

booboo: FUCK you FUCK you FUCK you FU

spooky: honestly? i fw him

dog ninja: i wanna cook soup wjf youbyoure soawesome and cool and i lpve you hii doggyyy hi dogy. dohyynkkgunnbuyrctib

mister eagle: thanks for telling me to cut the fruits. i was gonna do that anyway but like. shoutout to you man. props

the frogettes: jj rocker really likes you huh. cant get enough young love rock and roll even

space kicker: hi radar AAGHHHH THE SPACE!!! KI IEKR AAHH ITS HIM INAHIUIBSSYSBIYFIBYDS /VPOS

stepswitcher: love these thangs. i have several of my own thangs. the one i (mc) adore most is the purple thang. his name is mo

JJ ROCLEKEKRKMJ &*;*;&;&$-$×<;^<^<^$ UBGDEBGSCXUGBUSDXGBBHG my eif ei lvoe her so so sp sososososoos muuch foreverrr aheehee giggle. kicks my feet twirls my hair. i think i hauve covid

STUDENT ROKCKONOUCRFUIBCFEJHBGCERBGUSXD MY CHILD HE HAS EVERY DISEASE

airboarder: yeeeeaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH LETS GO

seals: wait. whatd you do with the dolphins. where are they. say somethign . Where are thr DOLPH

smiling coin: do i know you

thr cnaract3rs from tunnel the endless game: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i gues. but like. do you really ned a cowbell to keep driving? i mean. just record yourself playing a cowbell and like play it on the radio. just do that. why am i holding a cowbell anc playing the cowbel for YOU. do it yourselfIs she even listening to. m

glass tappers: ths Glass Tappers J SWEWR EVERY TIME I READ THR WORD "TAPPERS"

the thing from rhythmove dungeon: youre. okay. i guess. i only played your endless game once. uh it 's fine. i mean.

clodhopper pickens: youre so full of glee,, id be happy too if my business card made music,,

slot monster: tjen scdrunkly. scdunkyl. scrunkly. sc

octo-pop: WAHAHHA THE. MSUIC SO FAST

beat machine: i barely messed around with this one. it's fine . wish the crowd wasnt so judgemental thogu

beatbag I dont know this one

kappa dj: ive seen you on davidmismol thumbnails and thats basically it lel

okaye wow owwowow owowowo WOWWOWWOW

[skiddlecat]

what are the rain world aus saying to you

your ass is so lucky you sent this right before my bedtime. anyway you will regret this

under the cut is spoilers for taking life as is by @nerdydowntherabbithole and their little world rebuilt by @exx-bee, both on a03. i'm only talking about these two because i know i have So much to say that i won't have the time to talk about the other aus i'm being autistic over, so that'll have to wait. im tired please enjoy my uber autism

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH TAKING LIFE AS IS. there is just sooo much i could mention but one thing i've talked about over and over again and refuse to shut up about is the building tension between moon and pebbles. throughout the fic, pebbles keeps trying to talk about his feelings on the whole Killing Her thing, and each time moon shuts him down with a "don't you start now" or something along those lines, because she wants to move on.

what she DOESN'T REALIZE THOUGH is that this!!! is not how it works!!! it's understandable that after everything she's in her live laugh loce era but at the same time she is ignoring all negative feelings and pushing them aside to the point of toxic positivity! pebbles *needs* to be allowed to feel bad and grieve!! he won't be able to move on if his feelings are constantly being disregarded!! sometimes things just have to be bad, and yeah! it sucks! but it's better for him to feel like shit sometimes than to suck it all up and have a massive breakdown later! he's ALREADY bad at communicating his feelings and this isn't helping!!!

moon isn't doing it on purpose obviously, she just wants everyone to be happy, but GOD if it isn't clear that it's hurting pebbles. i feel like this is gonna snowball into a massive fight because this whole problem is clearly starting to piss him off.

and their little world rebuilt... hoop boy. for not pebbles and moon related thoughts, i loove how much of a little shit ui is and how so obviously violent they feel towards pebbles. does he deserve it? probably not. but they are SUCH a brat and im living for it

and suns... SUNS... WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS... the tube. the fucking tube why did they put themself in the tube. ohhh my god suns i love you but you're sooo stupid. you and your messenger just have fresh trauma now. good job

BACK TO MOON AND PEBBLES. the contrast between their goals is honestly kind of funny. moon wants to repair her can now that she's a slugpup and while pebbles ALSO wants to repair her can, he also wants to dive into the void sea hesd first and never be seen again. WHICH WON'T WORK BY THE WAY. HE ALREADY WANTED TO DIE BUT NOW IT'S PARTIALLY FUELLED BY A DESIRE FOR PUNISHMENT WHICH IS *NOT* LETTING EVERYTHING GO, HIS ASS WOULD ECHO. his ass might not even make it to the void sea before guardians kick hm out. hes too young.

oh and. of course i can't forget-- Pebbles Is Going To Lose it When He Gets To Moon And She Isn't There. like getting moon neurons and a rarefraction cell is his ONLY will to live right now and it's been established iterator puppets disappear when they get scugged. he's gonna think she's sooo dead because he won't be in the right mindset to consider she's also a slugpup and he's gonna spiral over it. complete breakdown. Goodbye

dear god ok. have to cut this here because the sleepy is getting me so so bad. APOLOGIES. ENJOY MY UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE

[mrplantfr]

Okay, so, I know I've ranted a couple times about TWOMP already, but just let me have this😭

So, I have talked about my headcanon that Mr.Plant is autistic, and the Q&A Ashur Ghravi made is almost a year old. (damn.-) But I just wanted to say, Ashur says that the reason Mr.Plant likes Argos soooooooooooo much is a lot because Argos makes him try new things. I'm autistic myself, so I know its common for neurodivergent people to be scared of change, and wanting to stay at home a lot because of that. Soo, Ashur Ghravi ALSO says Mr.Plant stays home a lot. SO????? Maybe he is just- scared of change and prefers staying home and watching TV a lot of the time. Yk, ROUTINES!? It is probably difficult to make him leave, do activities, try things, etc. So, he probably really likes that Argos making him try new things because he knows he wouldn't do so if he didn't. He most likely knows its good for his health too. We've also seen that for a bit there was a format in the series of: (AhEm) Argos comes to Mr.Plant's house, he asks to hang out, Mr.Plant doesn't want to leave but since its Argos he decides it would be fun (AWWWW😭), Mr.Plant commits murder, they go to Mr.Plant's house and see that the news found out about the corpses on the ☆TeLe♡. Sooo, this further proves that he most likely would used to rarely leave his house without being forced, since, yk, he doesn't wanna. Of course, he would go to the store or occasional restaurant, but other than that, u would have to drag him out, and avoid his weapon (or whatever he can get his hands on) and force him to leave. But he REALLY loves Argos, and the narrator says "But looking at Argos' happy face, how could he say no?" EXUSE ME, BRO IS DOWN BAD- In other words, just looking at Argos' face makes him have the courage to hang out, leave his house, try new things, and most importantly: SIMP.

Alright, so, IM LITERALLY MR.PLANT CANON EVENT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ YES YES YES, I STAND BY THAT, DONT @ ME BRO IM LITERALLY MR.PLANT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😝😝😝😝💅💅💅💅🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅‼️‼️‼️‼️

[bloodcoveredgf]

pro tip make up worlds and ocs with your partners and friends and such its fucking awesome. best idea you can have in the world i think

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

hi im in love with literally all your takes and opinions but ESPECIALLY the weird autistic yu being kind of an ass and gaining friends by accident. do you have any other headcanons about him i love this weird dude <3

I absolutely do!! I am a Souji kinnie so I have many opinions on this man and yes I am projecting but (1) I do not care and (2) I do not care.

In the manga (which I have not read yet but I want to) Souji has pretty absentee parents due to their work and he's been forced to move around a lot for them. Imo because of this (+ already being autistic) he's always had a really hard time making friends. He's always been something of a loner, drifting btween people and places without making strong connections because he doesn't know how to form them. By the time of Persona 4 he's kind of accepted his fate of being the odd one out who will float through this town and leave unchanged like he has his entire life.

Only he does make connections this time. Connections that matter. And that's terrifying, because now that Souji isn't alone, now that he knows what belonging feels like, he never wants to lose that again. He never ever wants to go back. Hence his Shadow in episode 26. (I fucking love his Shadow sooo much you don't understand.)

This is a self indulgent one, but I also headcanon that Souji has learned that to keep the fleeting attention of his parents and the people around him, he has to keep up his grades and generally be helpful and accommodating. He values himself on his performance and talents since that's the only way he could receive the attention and love from his parents he wanted so badly. He's not naturally a great student, but he works his ass off to get good grades and do well at school and work and life in general. Basically everything other than socializing and making real connections which he struggles with hardcore because of autism.

Souji has learned from experience that his deadpan statements can be really funny to people, so he leans into that bit of his autism in the hopes it'll get him more acceptance from his peers. It's been hit or miss his whole life since a lot of people are still put off from him and he's started self isolating and stopped actively reaching out, but he knows the deadpan humor usually works better than trying to mask and his friends in Inaba love it and think it makes him charming.

Souji adores children. I think this is obvious considering how many of his social links involve children. In my opinion this is partially him just liking hanging out with kids because they're easier than adults because of his autism, but also is in large part because he remembers feeling abandoned and unloved as a kid and he doesn't want any other kid feeling that way.

Souji is gay. Like, fully homosexual, no interest whatsoever in women. He's known this for a while but he doesn't really know what to do with it since he knows society isn't super cool with it, especially out here in the boonies compared to the city. He's never really cared personally but he starts to care a little once he makes connections and this fact about himself starts to matter. But seeing Kanji start to and struggle to accept himself encourages Souji to accept and embrace that part of himself too, and by the time of the festival he's at the point of "fuck it, I am who I am and people can take it or leave it" and he's confident that if he told his friends they would still accept him.

As for his relationship with Yosuke, I think it's kind of a slow burn thing. He has feelings for Yosuke pretty early on but he doesn't pursue them since he's not really aware of them at first, he just Really Likes his partner and staring at him when he smiles. They are both pining for each other for so long without realizing what's going on because Yosuke's so closeted and Souji's just autistically oblivious of himself.

They both realize what their feelings mean around the same time (when they beat each other up ofc) and Souji is immediately ready to ask Yosuke to be his boyfriend because he's already completely head over heels but he doesn't know if Yosuke is ready for that so he waits for Yosuke to confess first. Which soon enough he does and from that point on they're partners for life.

Souji really, really wants to believe in the goodness of humanity. Like, extremely so. He thinks everyone is redeemable and has a good reason for their actions. So Adachi is completely incomprehensible to him. That's how I read their link in Golden, as Souji desperately wanting to believe that Adachi can be saved and that he has a secret good reason for killing people. Souji wants to understand and save him like he did with his friends. But the truth Souji has to face is that Adachi just sucks. Sometimes people you really liked and connected with just plain old suck. Sometimes people do evil shit for no good reason. Souji really liked Adachi. I think he bought into Adachi's silly act wholeheartedly (because autism) and related to it. So when he finds out Adachi is just an asshole that's really hard for him to accept.

Okay this is way too fucking long but I do think I talked about most of it. Basically, I give Souji a bunch of (my) trauma. Because I love him. Baby boy <3

[seerofmike]

1, 4, 9, and 13 from the Salty Ask List

im assuming this is for apex

1.) What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

ok so there's a lot of ships i hate for an active reason but as for a ship i simply do not get. revenant x ash. like they're both simulacrums i guess. is that it?

i guess i just don't get the specific way REDDIT likes revenant x ash. they seem to think that ash would be all tsundere for him like im sorry are we talking about the same character

4.) Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

i hate several ships but i'll just list the 3 i hate the most. life//tane, crypt//age and crypt//son. the straightie ships are like moderately popular for straightie ships ig but crypt//age is everywhere and its like. they're like that one post about straight women's first gay ship LMAO

9.) Most disliked character(s)? Why?

rev and caustic r obvious answers so i'll name 3 others. Fuse because he's boring and obnoxious and kinda contributes nothing except being BH's love interest and the reason Maggie joins. like i feel like you could cut Fuse out of apex entirely and with minimal rewrites everything still functions the same. He just feels really irrelevent. tbh i didn't hate him until the past few seaons when Fuse/hound started really ramping up and I couldn't escape seeing him which just made me more annoyed every time I saw him. overexposure ig

hate mirage cuz he hogs so much screentime and has like 3 character traits the writers bring up over and over without doing anything new so people can go AUGGH MIRAGE SADDEST CHARACTER EVER 🥺🥺🥺 and yall somehow fall for it when its the same piece of info literally every time. like how many times do they need to remind you evelyn has dementia. give him a storyline already. "Mirage sad because mom forget" is not a character arc yall have been doing this for like 12 seasons now come up with something new

then finally. Wattson. i have written several posts about her so im gonna be short but she's SOOO terribly written and such a shit person which like, i LOVE me some terrible petty bitches like loba. but loba being a terrible petty bitch feels like its on purpose and wattson being a terrible petty bitch is on accident and the writers bend over backwards to make her the cute uwu do no wrong girl all the time and it's SO exhausting like let her have character flaws and maybe have someone acknowledge she's made mistakes???? 😭

edit: crypto!! 13.) unpopular opinion about he.

i have two: 1. he is kind of jacked under that jacket. he is not a twink. he has muscles. not like fuse or gibraltar, and he doesn't have shredded abs like seer and octane, but he's built after years of working out and when he wears a tight t-shirt, you can See. Percieve Them. and 2. he has ADHD (and a paranoia disorder).

i know the more popular hc for him is autistic which is VALID but i personally read him more as ADHD who developed a paranoia disorder due to his circumstances and both of those things combined are why he's so fidgety and messes around with his jacket and puzzle cube a lot

[boypussydilf]

BMT (bacon mettuce tomato) from that ask game forrrrrr..... persona AND sgt frog. double whammy

BACON METTUCE TOMATO

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

in persona … i would most likely never have thought of sumitaba in my life if not for the fandom. they r just neat. uhhhhhh. lets see surely theres some pair of sgt frog characters i never wouldve considered interacting or smth if not for some external influence. Most notably kurudoro i probably wouldnt habe really thought about them if not for the fandom either but its hard to remember, but let’s also give a shout out to some pairs ive seen interacting One Time- i THINK i saw one (1) piece of ship fanart of bariri and keroro? if im remembering correctly? And also hark ! to the fanart of dororo and putata interacting. iirc. rich kid swag

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

EVERY character I LOVE friendship 😌😊☺️🍃🌱💅❤️😌🤭🍀🌸⭐️🌈✨😚 ok im done now. Anyway for real though I would like to be friends with all of the phantom thieves we would be besties . but i wanna hang out w yusuke and futaba especially. but like, separately. the violence when they are combined is funny but would be too intense for me. Also, Eikichi Persona 2. And maybe Maya Persona 2 we wouldn’t necessarily be close friends but she’s nice.

if dororo n koyuki were real we would be best friends “u n dororo n koyuki or me n u” yes. i would enjoy hanging out with fuyuki as well.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Ok well first of all lists of immutable autistic & trans headcanons as long as my arm for both series, but we already know that very well. Other than that uh ….. really die hard thoughts …. akira & futaba are siblings its simply a fact. also that fanart where sumi runs into akechi post p5r and shes the only one who knows hes alive for a while and its kinda just Them is like 85% canon in my brain. Also there is no world post-p5 where akira doesn’t become like… protests georg. if you have an Adult Akira Kurusu concept and hes anything other than not only willing to punch dudes in the face to try and get things to change but actually Actively Doing the closest things to that he can manage: you are just wrong.

sgt frog headcanons that r Just Canon to me …….. Aside frm the list of whos autistic keroro Super Has ADHD but that really kind of is just canon. not on purpose but no one in the history of mankind has adhd coded a frog harder than this. There’s not much else I can think of this is the worst thing to ever happen to me 😔 I could reiterate my trans headcanons in great detail but we’d be here all night and the Sgt Frog 10 Years Later au in my brain is still only half-formed (its my job, my DUTY, with everything i like to imagine what the characters are like a while post-canon, especially if theres kids who can grow up or other clear room for further life development, but also there’s a lot of factors to consider to figure details out.) So I’m just gonna end by talking about Kururu’s older siblings because we as a people need to talk more about them. I think that personality wise they’re both like. somewhere in between kururu and saburo. They like to Cause Problems On Purpose more than saburo who mostly just Doesn’t Prevent problems but not as much as kururu whod probably blow up a galaxy if it was funny enough, but they’re also like, Outwardly Nice, less like kururu and more like saburo. Theyre sooo good at acting friendly and sweet and normal that you can miss how extremely petty and selfish they’re being and all the problems they are causing. This is just based on 1 clip in the anime where shipepe sends keroro a card for new years or something like that? and part of it goes kinda like “Just a funny thing…. you know what that happens to remind me of? That time I bought you ramen in elementary school…. I still remember exactly how much money you owe me <3” anyway tbats what they’re like to me.

[primeministerofantarctica]

If you don't mind me asking (and if you do plz ignore <3) but is there any autistic rep that you personally would like to see in media?

ohh good question! hmm... personally I'd like to see more explicit rep in children's and family media that's not "word of god" or "character that shows up for one episode to teach the main character about autism" (I don't mind the former but your average ten-year-old disney liker doesn't have twitter so it'd be lost on them.)

for example, one of my favorite canon autistic characters is aj gadgets from the pbs kids show hero elementary. while they don't outright say it until season 2, it's pretty obvious if you know what you're looking for? he flaps his hands when stressed out, he hates the feeling of wet clothes, he has a clear special interest in other superheros, he doesn't get sarcasm, he has noise-canceling headphones as part of his costume and he's shown putting them on when things get too loud. and MOST importantly, he's one of the main characters! appearing in almost every single episode!

on that note, I don't care how realistic it is, more stuff where the autistic character is actually liked by the other characters. I like entrapta and the guy from the good doctor well enough, but the way the other characters treated them was sooo :(. "oh noo how can he be a surgeon are you sure it's safe" bro i'm not an expert but i don't think it's within the realm of physical impossibility that autistic surgeons exist irl.

more characters in genres that aren't realistic coming-of-age stories. more fantasy/ sci fi/ mysteries/ etc. and yes, make the speculative fiction characters explicit too. you don't have to use the same word if it's a non-earth setting and you don't want to break the illusion, but plenty of other languages have descriptions you can pull from! like in japanese, the kanji for 自閉症 is "oneself, closed, illness". or in te reo māori, the word they use means "in their own time and space". make up your own name if you want, get creative!

other stuff, in general - more nonverbal/ aac using characters in prominent roles. more characters who are intellectually disabled or even just have average intelligence, less "savants". more characters with "useless" special interests instead of maths or science disciplines (more autistics that can't do math, please im dying here /lh). characters that are love interests, or best friends, or main characters. characters that have personalities outside of being a walking DSM manual.

this is already long af but some other characters I like-

renee from pixar's loop.

woo young-woo from extraordinary attorney woo. (i've only seen a few episodes so far but i like what i saw.)

matilda from everything's gonna be okay.

hikaru azuma from the manga with the light: raising an autistic child. yes it's from the point of view of the neurotypical mother but if you manage to get past the first volume and it's "oh no my child is autistic how can this be :(" it's...pretty sweet? the mom isn't portrayed as a saint for "putting up" with her kid, she does love him but the narrative isn't afraid to call her out when she makes a mistake.

ester from daughter of the deep. am i biased since this is a rick riordan book? well yes but still i'll be the first in line to watch the movie adaptation.

also more characters that are definitely autistic but the writers are either cowards or somehow, inexplicably, didn't put two and two together until someone else told them and understandably were pretty nervous about messing up to actually make it canon (they're just undiagnosed /j)

nonny from bubble guppies. stop saying he's depressed reddit edgebros it's just flat affect ToT

huey duck from ducktales. you had two episodes focused on how "being weird isn't bad" and "it's okay if you're wired differently". did the...did the writers just not pick up on the implications. i refuse to believe they did.

twilight sparkle from mlp:fim. pretty obvious to headcanon but i read somewhere (albeit through secondhand sources) that it was initially supposed to be canon and if that is true, that's cool af.

[catboyclarity]

The Good Place and The Owl House for the TV show ask

THE GOOD PLACE:

Please keep in mind I haven’t watched it in a bit and haven’t finished it yet bc I know the ending will make me feel a lot of things and im being a weenie.

Favorite male character:

Michael’s technically not a guy but Michael. I like him so much. I have gender envy for him. I wish I looked like Ted Danson.

Favorite female character:

Eleanor no contest she is such a good protagonist. I love women who r mean and stupid.

Least favorite character:

I don’t really dislike any of em they all serve their purpose even the nasty ones.

Prettiest character:

Tahani. Every time she is on screen my brain becomes cartoon wolf going awooga. What else is there to say.

Funniest character:

Jason. That’s all.

Favorite season:

I would have to rewatch but I think season 2.

Favorite episode:

Again I would have to rewatch but I think the trolley problem one.

Favorite romantic ship:

Chidi/Eleanor is one of my all time favorites they make me weak.

Favorite family relationship:

Don’t have one really!

Favorite friendship:

Eleanor and Tahani have a really fantastic dynamic and I like seeing them interact.

Least favorite ship:

I don’t hate it or nothing but one time when I was trying to scope out the fanfics for the show I found a LOT of Eleanor/Michael. What’s up with that.

THE OWL HOUSE

Unfortunately my boyfriend and I are mutually autistic about this Disney show and making it everyone’s problem.

Favorite male character:

Hunter and Belos if you can’t tell from my reblogged lol. Can’t pick one bc what makes me so interested in both has a lot to do with the dynamic they have and I don’t think I’d care as much about either if like Hunter was just a generic sad boy without all of that abuse trauma and Belos was just a regular evil emperor without the really insane implications making all those grimwalkers has about his psyche.

Favorite female character:

For a really long time it was Eda but the more I think, it’s kinda Willow now? I wish she had gotten more focus in season 2 lol I miss her.

Least favorite character:

Jacob Hopkins I guess? He’s pretty minor but I don’t. Like him he kinda wigs me out.

Prettiest character:

Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.

Funniest character:

KIKIMORA. I just ohhh she’s sooo oh my god girlllllll she’s so pathetic I love her she’s bewitched me.

Favorite season:

Season 2b

Favorite episode:

Hollow Mind. It is just good and it took Hunter from “funnie little guy I like a lot” to “you could project your trauma on this thing!”

Favorite romantic ship:

The ideal for me is that Luz, Amity, Hunter and Willow are in a polycule where everyone except Amity and Hunter are dating. You may not like it but that is peak efficiency.

I do also like all of the canon ships in the show. Raeda is fantastic on all levels, Huntlow is just really cute, and Lumity is special to me bc it’s the type of ship (sapphic rivals to lovers) I was really into as a baby gay who was JUST figuring out I was queer. Idk 14 year old me would have finally gotten what it wanted if the Owl House was around a decade ago ya know? That means something.

Favorite family relationship:

I like Luz and King’s whole siblings thing they make me emo!!!

Favorite friendship:

Hooty and Lilith are REALLY FUNNY, but emotionally I like Gus, Willow, and Hunter being a squad. It’s sweet.

Least favorite ship:

Alec said this but Hunter/Edric is just like. There is nothing there except they are both skinny teenage white boys. They have not even met. Get your fix how you want I’m not mad that people ship it at all but this is a show full of interesting and well developed relationships already you know?

[blatherkatt]

i just started reading your blumenthal kids reunionfic and i LOVE IT! Its so good and so full of potential and angst and I LOVE IT!!!💞💞💞 The way you write Eodwulf is soooo good hes such a mess and so gay help him. and Astrid Omg... I cant wait for more of her i checked out some of your posts on here and shes just great??? You've clearly put a lot of thought into them with the child designs and stuff, did you have any major inspo for the two of them like songs or other characters and stuff???

hey tumblr dont…delete part of my answer what the heck

anyway!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, ed ( @tactfulgrimalkin ) is the one doing the actual writing but we plan everything together and i edit and do artwork so he deserves lots of love for the great writing…i dont remember what else i had here before tumblr deleted it so i hope thats the gist of it 

eodwulf is a gay disaster of a bastard man and astrid is SO fun and im SO GLAD UR EXCITED TOO BECAUSE WE SURE ARE

anyway you just opened pandora’s box and i’m very sorry for the length of the rest of this answer but here we go prepare for some cursed content necessary to answer that question ( | ) w ( | ) it was a Wild Ride getting these two characters to where they are boy howdy 

so the thing is in order to explain how we created these characters i actually have to get into the origins of the fic on the whole because the two are inextricably linked, and also, the origins of this fic are incredibly cursed and you can send all ur hatemail right here go on blast us we’re ready 

but we were talking about caleb and how we’re both excited for whenever astrid and eodwulf turn up, and the thought came up for basically the rough skeleton of that scene in chapter 2: 

“hey how messed up would it be if instead of them both hunting him down like we’re expecting…one of them comes in with a huge savior complex and sincerely thinks he’s delusional and should still be in the asylum, how MESSED UP would that be” 

…and then shortly after that, this happened 

thats the cursed part dont say i didnt warn u but listen you know we’re right

also that pic of caduceus didnt exist back then i went back and got this screenshot just to share the curse with you all

ANYWAY

in classic us format we got carried away and eodwulf got slotted into the role of that scene in chapter two and his character was largely developed around that scene, like, what kind of person would still be clinging to caleb after all this time to that degree to make that happen? and what was come up with was an extremely avoidant person clinging to a fantasy version of things wherein they don’t have to fight

(eodwulf was developed into a Person before astrid, i should note at this point, and ed did most of that developing; i took point on astrid later on)

but around this time i went “screw it im gonna do some concept art we’re both in too deep now” so here’s some of that for u guys 

started with them all as teens and did a couple sketches as well as one of baby (well. teen. so baby) caleb/bren/we were calling him felix at the time as some of u probably already know 

first draft had astrid with longer hair than eodwulf lmao check this out 

flipped the hair length on those two which was for the best because at the time we were imagining eodwulf as a bit more mischevious which is another thing that got reversed over time now astrids the prankster and eodwulfs the overworked mom friend because bren takes astrid’s ideas and makes them SO MUCH WORSE but he still looks better with longer hair and then i played around w/ colors for a while and wound up w/ this

voila, the initial kid concepts, to which subtle yet vital changes were  made after time. if any of you are curious about if im frustrated that that’s still the best i’ve ever drawn eodwulf’s nose the answer is yes. yes i am. 

astrid’s hair is not messy enough, theres not enough freckles, and she does not look ready to fight the entire world for a dare. 0/10. 

anyway then i did adult versions which look WAY OFF NOW LMAO 

eodwulf with way too much beard, looking far too messy when he ought to look very clean so that he can hide how much of a disaster he actually is, and also a glimpse into the very boring Ice Queen/Heartless Bitch we vaguely had astrid as to start with. even more out of character tho is the earring, astrid as she is today would absolutely never tolerate an earring unless she absolutely had to, girl’s got sensory issues but she didn’t back then. ALSO STILL NOT ENOUGH FRECKLE 

anyWHO a while after this it was decided that eodwulf has ADHD, something both the authors have a whole lot of lmao, and that was the point where ed REALLY took off and developing eodwulf went out of control and we both went Well I Guess We’re Gonna Have To Write This At Some Point Now

and with that happening is when developing astrid took more priority i think, because man, at that point in the game she came way too close to that really  annoying trope that shows up in fanfic a lot wherein The Girl is A Bitch who is Getting In The Way Of ~*The Yaois*~ and thats like, thats bad. we knew from the outset we were absolutely not setting this up as a love triangle because we both hate those but even w/ her having no romantic relationship to either of the two, like…she was kind of just There and the one who was most loyal to trent (the only thing of her original characterization that really stuck, honestly) and sooo boring???? 

so like, and i say this honestly, i managed to COMPLETELY FORGET that “reverse sasuke” cursed comment from the beginning of all this and STILL go “well what if we made her more like caleb’s rival that’d be fun” 

and that’s how astrid sorta wound up accidentally morphing into the Scrappy Underdog of this anime trio and calling her a naruto analogue is extremely cursed but also not inaccurate tbh 

started out with the concept of her popping into bren’s window because she heard they were doing magic and wanted to learn it too and evolved from there; we decided that she was gonna be neurodivergent too but, hilariously, initially that she was “the best at pretending to be neurotypical” (WE COMPLETELY REVERSED THAT AND IT IS FOR THE BETTER. SHE’S SO MUCH MORE FUN NOW) and made her also autistic because it one meant she could be like SAME HAT at bren really hard which’d make her feel more like part of the group instead of just the odd one out, and two because it fits with the whole rivals thing

branching off of that we made her just. INCREDIBLY direct. like. astrid’s thought process is “how can i accomplish what i want accomplished with the smallest number of steps? what are the consequences of doing it this way? do i give a shit? no? im gonna do that.” 

(which is why she climbed a tree to get into bren’s attic instead of using the door because that way she just completely skipped having to convince his mom to let her in)

i cant get into it much here because so many spoilers and we’re gonna explore it all, but like, astrid’s backstory turned into this exploration of the intersection of sexism and ableism especially as applied to a medieval-esque society in which the word “autism” doesn’t even EXIST and in which a convenient double standard exists Right There in the form of bren and like,, its gonna be good guys im excited for it 

as far as characters tho she does also have just a touch of Vimes from discworld to her, albeit like, she’s lawful evil to his lawful good, but she’s got the same tendency to stick REALLY FIERCELY to the rules that she thinks are important, even when they inconvenience her, even if it’d be so much easier to bend them just this once 

and for songs i cannot link like any astrid songs because they all might accidentally give away so much BUT I CAN LINK AN EODWULF SONG 

this one was HUGE for him 

uhhhh i think that’s everything i can think of that we can say right now unfortunately so i’ll end this with a comparison to the current teen designs we have now that are being used in the actual fic, even tho im not fond of how bren came out in this picture, but like, for the sake of comparison 

lets see how far we’ve come 

I N C R E A S E    F R E C K L E 

[la-knight]

BOOKS I (RE)READ IN 2018: FURTHERMORE BY TAHEREH MAFI

"Alice Alexis Queensmeadow, 12, rates three things most important: Mother, who wouldn’t miss her; magic and color, which seem to elude her; and Father, who always loved her. Father disappeared from Ferenwood with only a ruler, almost three years ago. But she will have to travel through the mythical, dangerous land of Furthermore, where down can be up, paper is alive, and left can be both right and very, very wrong. Her only companion is Oliver whose own magic is based in lies and deceit. Alice must first find herself—and hold fast to the magic of love in the face of loss." "Red was ruby, green was fluorescent, yellow was simply incandescent. Color was life. Color was everything. Color, you see, was the universal sign of magic." "Love, it turned out, could both hurt and heal." "Narrow-mindedness will only get you as far as Nowhere, and once you're there, you're lost forever.” "Alice was an odd girl, even for Ferenwood, where the sun occasionally rained and the colors were brighter than usual and magic was as common as a frowning parent." "Making magic is far more interesting than making sense." So I actually read this book a few months ago and then recently reread it via audio so I could remember all the details for this review. I was first introduced to Tahereh Mafi’s work through her book Shatter Me, her debut novel. Ironically, it wasn’t through any of the ways I normally hear about books - Booktube, Goodreads, my best friend, Booklr - but from my husband’s aunt. She runs - or used to run, not sure if she’s still doing it - a book review blog. And she posted a review of Shatter Me and I was like, “What a weird, interesting writing style, lemme check this out.” At this point the entire Shatter Me Trilogy plus novellas had been published and I devoured all of them (still need to review those, too). So when I heard Tahereh Mafi was writing a middle grade book, I got super excited! Especially because this was during a time when I was too stressed out to read any YA, since most of the YA I like involves having to save the world and all the stress that entails. I need to lay out some trigger warnings real quick: the main character, Alice? Her mom is incredibly abusive, both emotionally and physically. It’s treated as not such a big deal in the book, which is honestly the story’s only real flaw, but it’s bad. It took me seven tries and resorting to an audiobook (and even with a fantastic narrator, that short audiobook took me almost a month to get through) because the abuse was so bad. So:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE OF A CHILD BY THEIR PARENT

Let’s get started, yo! First of all, the setting. OMG. See, I love tthis thing called Victorian fairy tales, which is something you can find in books like Mary Poppins - these super fantastical bits of whimsy that just warm your heart and make you grin because they’re so creative and fun. In the Mary Poppins books, you can jump into chalk drawings and go to a circus amidst the stars and make friends with a woman who sells living candy-cane horses. In Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland series, there are shadow balls and talking phonographs. And in Furthermore, there’s light raining down from the sky in literal drops, sticks of magic you use like money, and forests full of invisible berries. The way the world is put together and described, so full of color and imagination, is awesome and beautiful and I could picture it perfectly. It reminded me in all the best ways of books like The Phantom Tollbooth (one of my favorites). But I wouldn’t want to live there, because Ferenwood is full of colorism and ick. Alice, the female lead, is an albino in a world where color is important and the darker you are, the more magical you’re considered to be. So Alice gets treated like garbage. 

Also I think Alice may be autistic, but I don’t know if she’s deliberately coded autistic or if Tahereh Mafi did it by accident while trying to make Alice eccentric, but she comes across as autistic. I’ve actually begun to pay more attention to that sort of the thing in recent years, being autistic myself, and I see it a lot - authors giving their characters autistic characteristics, often without meaning to. I just touch on it here because Alice is already treated badly for being albino, but she’s also considered a freak because of the way she behaves - like an autistic preteen. And I wonder if Tahereh Mafi did that on purpose as a sort of commentary or not, because while Alice is treated badly by the people of Ferenwood for her behavior, the Narrator (who is an actual character in the story; love when that happens) always sides with Alice in this regard. The storyline is sweet and I love it. Alice tries to compete in the magical testing all the preteens do on their twelfth birthday, and so she dances. And her dancing is magical but it’s not Magical, you know? So she fails the test. Well, turns out a boy who passed the test the year before, Oliver (the brat), needs Alice’s help fulfilling a quest - rescuing Alice’s missing dad. So they go on a quest together, although Alice hates Oliver (and rightly so, he’s rude). They go to a dozen different and cool places, all of which are dangerous and all of which are different. I wish we could’ve spent more time in those places but I understand why we didn’t. The only annoying thing is there’s an origami fox on the cover but it only pops up in one of the worlds for like two pages and then it’s gone and I thought we could spend more time both in that world and with that creature since it ended up on the cover. But alas, not. I understand why - middle grade is often cursed to be short, especially if it’s the author’s first MG novel ever. Once you get big and bad like Rick Riordan you can start tossing out gihugic tomes like Son of Neptune or Blood of Olympus on the regular. Oliver’s reason for needing Alice was one I didn’t see coming, nor was her magical talent - a talent they hint at throughout the book but never explain until near the end, at the perfect moment. I thought it was an interesting commentary on how young girls perceive themselves, that Alice hates this marvelous, amazing talent she has of bringing color into the world from nothing...because she can’t use it to change how she looks. Society has trained her already, by the age of twelve, to discount something incredible about herself because she can’t use it to make herself into what society wants her to be. That’s pretty impressive for a book this short. I loved some of the more deliberate messages in the work - the thing I mentioned about society’s pressures on young girls, and also that it’s okay to tell boys to screw off if they’re mean to you, and to have hope and to look for second chances (Alice thinks she only has one chance to pass the test and believes her life is over when she fails, only to find out she can try again the next year). I love all of that, and the lyrical and whimsical quality of the prose, and the world building is so creative and also makes me a bit hungry (people eat magic in this book, among other things; I wonder what it tastes like). Now...let’s talk about the abuse. That’s my biggest issue with the book. Alice’s mother is a total bitch. And not in a cool, kickass way like the lady in the show Empire. She’s vicious, she’s cruel, and she’s abusive. Alice knows - and the Narrator confirms - that she turned bad when her husband went missing, and apparently the worry for him and the strain of raising four kids on her own is making her hard and sad, but I don’t give a shit. I was hoping Tahereh Mafi would’ve gone all Hansel and Gretel on this lady and when Alice comes home with her dad, the wife’s dead or something. She beats Alice (at one point she beat Alice for chasing a boy out of the place where she was sleeping, even though he kept staring at her in her sleeping clothes, because apparently the boy - Oliver - had the right to break into their barn at 3AM and ogle Alice???), she verbally abuses Alice, she sends her to bed regularly without dinner, is constantly criticizing, won’t hug her or kiss her, and - this one really got me, for some reason - forces her to do illegal things. Those invisible berries I mentioned? Alice can find them and bring back whole baskets because of her magical gift, and so her mom sends her out to pick them all the time. If she brings home enough, her mom smiles. If she doesn’t, her mom yells and calls her names and sometimes beats her. Guess what? Picking those berries is illegal. We don’t find this out until much later in the book, but it is. The thing I didn’t like about the berries is that Oliver, who’s thirteen, is less concerned about Alice’s mother beating her for not picking enough contraband berries and instead focuses on how her ability to find the berries in the first place means Alice has really impressive magic. NOBODY seems to care how much Alice is being abused, not even the Narrator. The Narrator sympathizes with Alice’s hurt feelings and despair over her missing Father, but it’s never objectively stated that her mom is abusing her AND SHE IS. Yeah, her mom is sooo glad to have her back after Alice almost dies on her trip with Oliver, but so what? My roommate’s mom is so abusive that my roommate’s clergy leaders, doctors, and psychological therapist all said my roommate needed to cut ties with said mom, even though my roommate’s mom has also exhibited the same kind of “oh baby I’m so sorry, I love you so much” bullshit. That’s what abusers do. So I hate Alice’s mom. She literally makes her daughter feel like if she doesn’t risk her life numerous times AND bring her father back, there is no chance her mother will ever love her. And if she pulls that stuff off (which she does), then MAYBE her mother will love her. Nuh-uh. Nope. Hate that bitch. Other than that, I really loved this book. The characters felt real (Alice is me, but without my anger), Even the ones I didn’t like were still REAL, and well-drawn. The world building and word choice is fantastic. Basically, if you can get past the evil mom, read this book. World Building: 1 star Realism: 1 star Word Choice: 1 star Plot: 1 star Characterization: 1 star - ¼ star because Oliver Newbanks is an obnoxious little creep - 1 star because the mom is AN ABUSIVE EVIL BITCH - ¼ star because NOBODY DOES ANYTHING ABOUT THAT +½ star because Alice is amazing and has a genius brain and I love her Total score: 4/5 stars Would I Buy It: Yes! I own it and loved it enough I got the sequel for Christmas (in...2017...I've been sitting on this review for months...)! Would I Recommend: yes, but with trigger warnings. Again, highly abusive evil bitch mom who somehow doesn’t die.