#IM NORMAL.

[chiisana-lion]

and not just a palette swap but a funeral's black in his grief for the presumed dead mizi and a wedding's white for the short moment he could finally embrace his beloved. btw

[rolex-kaard]

so... any MORE freaks in the chat

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

no face thing is so unbelievably true ... its like neuron activation for me

ITS CALLED HAVING TASTE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[pieofdeath]

"Your body floods with cortisol and stress and rage hormones. Your heart rate picks up, and as it does, you begin to feel a rhythm to your own heartbeat that you recognize is mathematical. There's an asymptote. It picks up in speed. There is a mathematics to your rage. You can follow. Your drummer sensibilities come in, and you pick it up, hitting harder, rhythm faster." "Keepin' the beat." […] "The entire world of Aguefort has told you that it doesn't make sense to be an artificer and a barbarian, and for a moment you go, "No, there is a math to being mad.""

HOLLLLY SHIT BRENNAN. I'M GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR.... FOREVER I THINK???????

[muckyschmuck]

injected heaven spewing out!

[doctorwhoisadhd]

[ID: the left half of the image is the ninth doctor regenerating; the right half is jack harkness being brought back to life by the bad wolf. text on the image reads: "to be loved is to be changed" /end ID]

[fullmoonfireball]

olimar THIRSY give him TEEHEE BLEND to pour on the FLOOR!!!!

[zhonglicious]

now. dont get me wrong. hanma is a freak and loves it when his partner takes the lead, bossing him around. someone who knows exactly what they want, how they want it, and isnt afraid to use him to get it

but god, nothing gets him harder than a shy little thing that can barely even look him in the eye. hands over their face, occasionally peeking out at him then getting too flustered to look again. he absolutely loves watching them turn into a mess, knowing that he did that. sweet, shy little thing, tears welling at the corners of their eyes, so, so close, but too embarrassed to ask for more.

[dulcesiabits]

like a flash in the night.

summary: your relationship with bai yi is purely transactional... or she'd like you to believe.

notes: 1.5k words, fic, a commission for @mh8 (who I have to thank for giving me a chance to write about miss bai yi <3), descriptions of violence + lightest suggestive content

i.

Bai Yi was taking advantage of you.

You would be a fool not to realize it; the only time she ever called you was when she needed a favor or a place to crash. You had learned to temper your expectations when your phone rang and Bai Yi’s silky voice was on the other line, when she flirted or wheedled or made another empty promise to treat you to a nice meal (a meal you would, inevitably, end up footing the bill for).

But when she showed up on your doorstep, bruised and cheerful, you still ran to see her, heart pounding.

“You’re an angel!” Bai Yi exclaimed, clasping her hands together dramatically when you swung open the door. “I know you wouldn’t let me down, hm?”

You could slam the door in her face for once, you thought. Tell her to go somewhere else, or to come back when she finally planned on paying back the money she borrowed from you.

But you only sighed at her theatrics, and gestured impatiently for her to come inside. “You can’t keep doing this, Bai. I have a life, and I can’t drop everything to help you every time you run into trouble. What is it this time? Debt collectors? Syndicate gangsters?”

Bai Yi had the decency to slip off her heels before she entered your apartment properly, throwing them carelessly at the doorway. You paused to line them up at the entrance, toes pointing towards the door, as she ambled down the hall as if she owned the place.

“Can’t I come just because I miss you, angel?”

You flushed at the sound of the nickname. “I don’t believe that.”

“Well…”

“Bai,” you said firmly. “What did you do?”

“I may have borrowed some money and promised to pay it back last week…”

“Oh my god.”

“But, ah, I had some emergency expenses to finance, so all of the cash I was going to put towards my loans? Gone! Just like that!”

You doubted she actually had any money to pay the loans back with; more likely than not, she had spent it all on some shady business venture investment and lost all her cash in the process. You followed the sound of her carefree voice down the hall, only to end up in front of your bedroom. Bai Yi was circling your bed, running a finger along the duvet.

“Bai Yi,” you said. “You’re on the run from loan sharks? Again?”

She shrugged, before diving onto your bed. “Yup! K.K. will get it all sorted out, though, so don’t even worry about it.”

“Bai–”

“I’m tired from being on the run. Angel, could you please close the door for me?”

You watched as Bai Yi pulled your comforter over herself, head sinking into the pillows you had fluffed just that morning. 

“At least take off your street clothes!” you said, exasperated. 

“Sorry, angel. If you want to get me naked, you’ll have to try harder.”

You shut your bedroom door irritably. It looked like it would be another night sleeping on the couch for you.

ii.

“Bai Yi, I swear to god, if you make me lose my apartment, I am going to toss you to MBCC myself!”

“Angel, don’t be so hasty! Don’t things always work out for us?”

You growled, biting back a string of curses as Bai Yi’s motorcycle cut around a corner so sharply your head almost touched the warm asphalt. The breeze whipped away her laughter; even in a situation where the two of you were on the run from Syndicate loan sharks, Bai Yi couldn’t take a single second of it seriously.

“Fuck!” you yelled as the motorcycle jostled over a pothole and swerved around a pedestrian, who screamed bloody curses after you two.

“You have to hold onto me tighter,” Bai Yi instructed, eyes still glued to the road. “Try not to cop a feel.”

“You’re disgusting. I’m not–” Another sharp turn, another close brush with the pavement where your head almost cracked like an egg, and you decided you could save the witty remarks before your brains ended scrambled up all over the streets of Syndicate. 

Reluctantly, you looped your arms around Bai Yi’s waist, so tightly you could feel her muscles tensing under her skin, feel the rumble of her laughter echo straight into your heart as she sped through narrow roads and dark alleyways. You rested your head against her back, squeezing your eyes shut as you nuzzled against her jacket. She smelled like sun-warmed leather, and cheap alcohol, and something you couldn’t quite place– it was the smell of the city itself, of cracked pavements and the faint tang of blood.

She had always promised to take you out for a spin on her bike, but you never imagined she would fulfill under such strenuous circumstances. 

You couldn’t help but smile a little into her jacket. As unreliable as Bai Yi was, she had always shown you a good time.

iii.

You had never seen that expression on Bai Yi’s face before. 

She was always ready with an easy smile or an over-dramatic frown to flash at you. Sometimes you forget just how strong she really was. It was strange to see her mouth so thin, her gaze cold and calculating, a barely-contained anger edging all of her words. She was like a predator, ready to strike at the first sign of weakness, power and tension rolling under her skin.

“They have nothing to do with this,” she said slowly. “Let them go.”

The gangster holding a knife at your throat barked out a wheezy laugh. “Listen, Bai Yi. They–” He yanked you closer to the knife, metal scraping your throat, and Bai Yi’s eyes tracked him “--got involved as soon as they met you.”

Her hand twitched on the handle of her swords, and the gangster hissed, pressing the blade into the skin of your neck, just enough for you to gasp at the sudden pain as a trickle of blood trailed onto your collarbone.

That must have been the final straw for Bai Yi. She snarled, and in the space between one blink and the next, the gangster’s head was lying on the floor, his face still frozen in a haughty grimace.

You couldn’t even call it a fight; it was a one-sided slaughter. Everytime you blinked, there was another head rolling on the floor, another body crumpling like a broken doll. In under a minute, Bai Yi was calmly wiping the blood off her swords with a coat ripped off a nearby corpse, before sheathing them into their scaboards. 

That strange, intense expression still hadn’t faded off her face as she strode towards you, anger still vibrating in every inch of her body.

“Are you okay?” she said. Her fingers drifted towards your face, as if she wanted to touch you; but they only hovered over your skin as complicated emotions warred across her face, each flashing by too fast for you to gauge what they were. 

You shook your head; you were still trying to process what just happened, but the shock must have caught up to you, because your legs gave way. Bai Yi easily caught you before you could fall. Her grip was surprisingly strong but gentle, and her arm curled protectively around you, pulling you closer towards her body.

“Let’s go home,” she said softly. “You need some rest.”

“Bai, I–”

“Don’t say anything,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry. I should have known better than to bring trouble to your door.”

You nodded, and the two of you simply stood like that for a while. When you moved to step away, her hands lingered, as if she wanted to hold you close to her forever.

“Next time,” you said slowly, as Bai Yi led you towards her motorcycle, “You have to treat me to dinner at a restaurant. A nice one.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” she said.

“No. You’re going to be the one to ask me,” you replied. You thought she might have smiled, but you couldn’t be sure.

iv.

Che folded his arms as he surveyed the apartment building across from the alley he, K.K. and Bai Yi were lurking in. “So you want me to stake out this place?”

“Just for the next few weeks,” Bai Yi said. “Make sure the, ah, person I told you about doesn’t meet with any trouble.”

“Why this place, Bai Yi?” K.K. said curiously. “Don’t tell me you borrowed from another loan shark.”

Che rolled his eyes. “It’s not like that, K.K. This is where the boss’s secret lover lives.”

“Her what?” K.K. hissed.

“We’re not in that kind of relationship,” Bai Yi said lightly.

Che appraised her, raising one eyebrow. “You sure?”

“I don’t get attached. You know that, Che. Come on! It would be sad for all the gorgeous women in Syndicate if I settled down so easily, don’t you think?”

Don’t get attached, my ass. Why do you look at them like that, then? Che bit back his words; Bai Yi knew her feelings best, and if she didn’t have a reason for revealing them, then neither did he.

The trio gave one last glance at the apartment complex, Bai Yi’s lingering on a particular window on the third floor, before they vanished into the night.

[usurper-of-heavens]

I. I am normal. im. normal. im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.im normal.

[cattywampers]

hai everyone i really like lambchop of sweet no death fame so here he is

i.drew him 👍

[annabelle--cane]

Ten Days Until The Protocoling

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Machine... Would you... Like to.... Lez out with me a little bit?

Please?

*metal_pipe_drop.mp3*

Oh, your pipe is so heavy!

Audio Source

[ottosbigtop]

Sometimes ill be normal and then come across an image of a big round animal like a bear or a cow or sometimes maybe a guy or a person and grip my chair with a grasp strong enough to turn my knuckles white going “why am i not big and round and covered in hair and generally quite jolly and bearish” and then i have to go about my day

[ryutarotakedown]

GERTRUDE: Yes, I can see that, Gerry.

GERTRUDE: What exactly did you say was your business with my grandson?

GERTRUDE: I see. Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think Gerry can help you –

GERTRUDE: I don’t know they’ll have much reason to, Gerry.

the magnus archives, episode 162:

GERTRUDE (overlapping, jokingly over-the-top) Of course, Gerard! I just happened not to mention the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the Archive where I keep all my darkest secrets.

[honeydewdyke-archive]

SCREAMING i want a gf so bad omg. need someone to give me kisses every 5 seconds jklsjiowdjklsjkldfs