#ISNT THIS ENOUGH TO BE SATISFIED. SATISFIED

[crimsoncold]

Just me reflecting on Sansa Stark, her Show Character Arc, and how one aspect of the show that I was critical of (some of the later costume design choices for Sansa and what they meant for her character arc and what they indicate about the attitudes of the writers) in turn helped inspire my art...

So I've been working on an art piece on and off since February and it might just be my favorite portrait I've ever done-both for how it turned out and for the inspiration behind it...

Before I started this piece I was dwelling a bit on my dissatisfaction with some of D&D's handling of this character in the later seasons... and soon came about the desire to do a portrait that incorporates the intensity, strength, and resilience of Sansa Stark while still getting to embrace and maintain some of the general softness, feminity, and romanticism that characterized her appearance and personality in the book and earlier seasons of the show...

It always seemed shitty to me that the show felt it had to squash out any traditionally feminine or more girly aspects of her appearance and personality to show that she should be taken seriously as a character

....As though these aspects are some sort of flaw Sansa had surpassed and that erasing her "softer" traits is some powerful cumulation or amazing visual cue for her character arc.... "Look she dresses all in black... she doesn't need or trust anyone...she put away all her childish dreams and hopes...doesn't she finally seem like a real stark....isnt she now so gritty and impressive - isn't this the best sort of ending/arc for Sansa!"

In reality this trope is lazy, over done, and reeks of underlying misogyny (Sansa was hardly the only character to get- or suffer from- this visual treatment in the later seasons of Game of Thronew but I'd argue that for her this choice was distinctly disappointing and had some important consequences/implications for her character arc)

Sansa’s biggest strength should have always remained her ability to maintain her kindness and compassion despite the horrors and mistreatment she experienced... and a satisfying arc should have involved her having the ability to demonstrate both her natural empathy and the burgeoning ability to apply said compassion in a more careful and considered manner which would live up to the values of her parents/family and ensure that the north (after experiencing such immense betrayal chaos and hardship) once again thrives under a just and fair ruler.

So I wanted to make a portrait of that would embody the sort of ending/arc (and be the sort of tribute) I think she deserves... (that the unfinished book series has not provided and that she certainly did not get in the tv series)

Looking at the core of this character and the ways the writing/narrative of the show ultimately let her and the audience down I have the following thoughts...

Sansa is strong enough to face and outlast every villain who targeted her family and tried to manipulate and use her as a child...

....Fierce enough to rally support to reclaim her ancestral home and land

... determined enough to hold Winterfell and the North's independence against any invader that wished to subjugate them...

....who- in a manner deserving far more praise than it gets-kept her integrity compassion even when at her most powerless and vulnerable...

... whose love of stories and songs or even beautiful dresses is not something that deserved erasure or ridicule

...who had hopes and dreams about family, marriage, motherhood, and being reunited with her siblings that despite how hard life - and the showrunners- tried to stomp out of her actually deserved to evolve into something grounded and real ... (fulfilled in winterfell with a worthy partner rather than being abandoned entirely as she is left isolated in the north without any of her surviving kin).

The sort of ending I want for the QITN is one celebrating her survival, her resilience, and strength of character... as well as rejoicing and still embracing who she is as a person... including her more traditional and feminin interests/hobbies/appearance, her hopes and dreams for her future and family, and her inherently compassionate nature (which is a strength all on its own).

Ned Stark's daughter, the blood of Winterfell, who will rule the north with the reverent support of her people, with an incredible mix of ferocity in the face of adversity and compassion in the face of need, who will not stand idly by and let vultures pick away at her remaining family, (or fall for any of the bullshit spewed out from an invading conquerer and their yes men advisors)...

...all the while she should still get to eat lemoncakes, sew, listen to stories, sing songs, experience love and family with her siblings and one day through her marriage and children, while she still gets to wear whatever fucking beautiful dress she wants 💙

And while this portrait may not cover every aspect of her ending that I hope she gets in the books and wished she got in the show- i'll save those aspects for my other sansa (or jonsa) centric art pieces- I am satisfied that it managed to captured some of her determination and strength while also presenting her in a way that does not judge or erase her more feminine characteristics.

Now For anyone who decided to read through my very rambly thoughts thank you and have a little glimpse at what the ongoing process has been like for this portrait as a treat...

- Crimson Cold

[anonbinaryweirdo]

look around look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now

[hyolks]

I'm back on my bullshit so heres a hoshihina post

we simply DO NOT TALK enough about how long hoshiumi WAITED????? FOR HINATA??????? FIVE YEARS??????

LIKE?????? HOW TF IS THIS GLOSSED OVER DURING THE ALDERS V JACKALS MATCH ASIDE FROM THIS ONE PANNEL AND A COUPLE OF TEXT BUBBLES????

THIS WAS THE LONG AWAITED GAME. THE BATTLE OF THE LITTLE GIANTS. THE FINAL DECIDER OF WHO IS THE ACTUAL TINY GIANT. IT WAS LITERALLY WATCHED BY THE OG LITTLE GIANT!!!

BUT THEN. THE MATCH ENDS FOR HINATA. HE"S PULLED. and you know what hoshiumi doesn't do. he doesn't go Oh I win. see that. even when kamome beats karasuno. becuase. he didn't get to win against HINATA

IT ISNT EVEN ABOUT BEING THE "LITTLE GIANT" ANYMORE!! HALFWAY THROUGH THE MATCH ITS NO LONGER ABOUT WHO IS THE LITTLE GIANT BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM

Hoshiumi is SO important to hinata's growth. like. Hinata finds that he doesn't want to be the little giant anymore. he's ok with being the greatest decoy. his EVERYTHING had been revolving around the little giant since he started. it started with the little giant. he wanted to be the little giant. being called the greatest decoy irked him in the beginning.

AND YOU KNOW WHY. hinata had been talked down to the ENTIRE CLIMB of his career. OF COURSE he wouldn't be good at volleyball he's SHORT. IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SHORT HE'S NOT GOOD. ignoring EVERYTHING he put into the sport. his heart. his soul. just because he's short. BUT THEN

HOSHIUMI GETS IT!!!! HE REALLY DOES

and it should seem like. oh. of course its the battle of little giants its because theyre both short. BUT NO. ITS ABOUT THEIR DRIVE AND THEIR LOVE FOR THE SPORT. THEY UNDERSTAND THE SPORT SO DIFFERENTLY FROM OTHER PEOPLE. THEYRE GOOD AT THE SPORT THAT PPL THOUGHT THEY WOULDn"T BE . THATS WHY ITS SO IMPORTNAT THAT THEY FACE OFF.

like yaya i know the alders v jackals match was about a lot of people and had so many important things in it. it solidifies hinata's growth and dedication to being the greatest decoy, so he can truly and finally move past the desire of wanting the title little giant, and we get some solid hinata/hoshiumi comparisons n stuff. but haruichi furudate . i need a chat with you. you. you have the LAST TIME THEY SEE EACH OTHER. HOSHIUMI SHOUTS ACROSS THE COURT "I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU" and the FIRST PANEL WE SEE OF HOSHIUMI POST TIMESKIP IS "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU" AND THATS ALL WE GET???? THATS ALL WE GET????? THERES NOTHING ELSE????

WE DONT GET ANYTHING OF HOW THAT MUSTVE IMPACTED HINATA AND HIS DESIRE TO GROW??? HINATA COULD NEVER GIVE UP BECAUSE HOSHIUMI WAS WAITING FOR HIm. WAS EXPECTING GREAT THINGS FROM HIM. HOSHIUMI BELIEVED IN HIM AND WAS WILLING TO WAIT FOR FIVE YEARS AND PROBABLY EVEN LONGER. HE FOUND SOMEONE WHO COULD BE HIS PEER AND KNEW INTRINSICALLY THAT HE WOULD ALSO UNDERSTAND THE LOVE AND DEDICATION THEY PUT INTO THIS SPORT

anyways I'm just happy we have htis parallel. i'll eat the crumbs off the floor i dont care

become a hoshihina liker today

[valtsv]

why are you getting text post criticisms this is tumblr dot com not google reviews

it was unsolicited but tbh i don't mind it. i appreciate constructive criticism, especially since literary analysis is my passion and i want to improve my skills as much as i can. i'm not going to stop being a bit "trite and cliché" though because it's fun :P

[domitablefocus]

Rhosyn Lavellan

[pinkeoni]

Ppl putting a loooooot of faith into a woman who canonically voted for Reagan

[eyestrain-addict]

I need more insane lestat fanfics. I need him to be obsessing over Louis to a -not even toxic, beyond toxic. RADIOACTIVE- level. I need him thinking fucked up thoughts in his fucked up head. Like I need the horror of his love for louis written down.

... but I suppose since I have read the few that fit this description, I'll just read Hannibal fics and pretend 😔

[deus-and-the-machina]

ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.

the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,

but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.

It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.

[astronomicalunit32]

In my motivic analysis phase. When did we decide to stop listening to the hamilton soundtrack.

[youngpettyqueen]

Garak seeing Palandine again, with her daughter, is fucking agonizing but this especially-

“Watching Palandine and her daughter defy gravity with their dance of love destroyed all my definitions, and my carefully maintained boundaries began to give way, for the first time since Bamarren, to the magic of limitless possibility. I knew at that moment that I’d never be satisfied again. Even my beloved orchids looked like weeds.”

has me in shambles

[nintendont2502]

yknow what I think I'm never gonna be good at art. It's at least like not for a long time and not without it being incredibly exhausting trying to force myself to draw. so like idk maybe I should. stop doing that? because I just draw and it turns out bad abd then I feel like shit abd I don't draw and feel like shit for not drawing and then when I do try to draw again I'm carrying that weight of like. It's been so long since I've drawn how can I call myself an artist + maybe I just atraigjt up can't draw and those few times I've made something decent are just a fluke because o stg I'm getting worse but also I'm probably not? But then art has just felt so much harder lately and 9 times out of ten I just give up ans feel like shit and that tenth time is just me thinking something is. Decent enough but still not good and posting it. like idk I got other hobbies. Other art forms. But I don't wanna give up on drawing because I do really enjoy it but also I haven't really been enjoying it lately but also I don't think I could live without it but also I'd really fucking like to be good but also the amount of stress that brings is. Idk it's like 1 am maybe I should just sleep I'll probably be more normal about this in the morning

[cloudstongue]

oh yeah…its been a year or so since i transitioned…yayyyy…

[animegoil-vnc]

Pretty sure Coming back to life got recc'ed somewhere recently cause there's been a surge in kudos for that specific fic the past couple days. But out of 20 or so people who gave kudos, and even some who took the time to bookmark the fic, not one single comment.

And it's like ah, yes, I could put in the monumental effort to squeeze in an hour of writing every day for weeks (I'm a slow writer) so I can finish my other in-progress fics... or I can just focus on the other priorities in my life.

And don't get me wrong, writing does bring me immense joy and I love the interactions I've had with the people who do comment. But the community used to be more alive. It used to be a *sustained* joy - it'd be a regular occurrence to get a little burst of happiness from a comment, which would keep that creative momentum and spark alive.

(On FFN twenty years ago I generally got a comment per 100 views - and I wasn't even a good writer back then. Now it's more like 1 out of 300 or so)

Now it's like sure, if I'm currently obsessed and my inner drive is in full hyperfixation mode, I'll write. But as soon as that dies down then there's no point because the time & emotional investment for me right now isn't really worth it just to put my fic baby in an archive so it can gather kudo-dust.

I went back and forth with @bentofaxmachine a while ago about a developer!LG/designer!CXS AU and it was a blast and it'd be such a fun AU, but it's just not worth slaving over to write because that excited keymashing session with her is the most emotional fulfillment yI'm going to get from that idea at this point.

[ardentpoop]

idk why people can’t grasp that a regular old father-and-child relationship can be enough of a psychological saw trap as is without you dumping cartoonishly asymmetric melodrama into it

[hordeofangrybees]

I love getting new fidgets. They are new and novel and somehow are always Better.

But also I know that I just spent 25 dollars on a shashibo that I will probably accidentally tear apart in less than a month.

Ya boy needs some cute/could just look like a nice desk nick nack that are not going to break

[megahykler]

for the record, i think u can have a stance of "hes a nice person and probably didnt mean it" And "hes a public figure and needs to be aware of the implications of his actions when in a public setting, especially when said public setting is known to be highly political"

and you can recognize the strict guidelines of all the parties involed, And recognize that if one truely wanted, anyone of the artists have the power to disrupt the whole show in protest. it would have severe consequences for them yes, but no one forced them to go to eur*vision. them being there and having an opportunity of a lifetime, is at the cost of taking attention away from Rafah, which isr*el is using right now as im typing, to invade further in.

Now, we're all adults here, and we can all recognize that u can be disappointed and angry and not take that anger out on other people, both him and fandom people. You also are free to feel satisfied with his statement on IG and feel like "no war" was enough (genuinly, no sarcasm intended), but i still feel like he could do more to "counterbalance" the impact of him being there and the video. this doesent mean im against the fandom or im irrationally angry or acting out in emotion.

rant over but idk. ill stick around and see if he makes another statement and go from there