#ITS LIKE EVERY FUCKING TIME. with music and movies and games etc etc

[scryclown]

hate finding things that i find enjoyable then i go online and get grouped in with the stupid tiktok babies simply because i found a generic unoriginal concept mildly interesting. we live in a society

[david-talks-sw]

When 'Star Wars' dilutes the impact of a "Kurosawa samurai standoff"...

It's no secret that one of the major inspirations for Star Wars was Akira Kurosawa movies. The Hidden Fortress influenced the basic structure of the first film, was a basis for Lucas' character archetypes and his use of narrative POVs.

But, really, all of Kurosawa's films were an influence on the making of Star Wars. Including the duels seen in his and other samurai films from the 60s.

Dunno if you've seen a kendo fight, but they're pretty similar.

The duelists size each other up, and there's a lot of mind games going on before the strike actually happens.

If you hold your sword this way, the other guy adjusts his stance.

You move your foot that way, the adversary responds accordingly.

Cinematically, this process allows you to play with a whole treasure trove of elements to build up the drama and suspense. We see this slow-yet-tense approach to dueling reflected all over the Original Trilogy. And we've seen it again in recent Disney-released content.

The perfect and first real example of this in Star Wars is the fight between Ben Kenobi and Maul, in Rebels.

The tension increases more...

... and more until the two fighters move, the music swells...

... and then it reaches its climax.

Beautifully executed.

Dave Filoni's done his homework, it shows, and while it's an awesome homage, narratively it also holds weight. There's a reason why this fight is so quick:

This time, Obi-Wan isn't fighting to avenge the death of his master, he's not fighting to save his own life... he's fighting to protect Luke's. And that means there's no time to fuck about. He'll end the conflict swiftly and decisively, he won't let it come to a prolonged acrobatic fight. So he lures Maul in by making him think he's taking Qui-Gon's form, and strikes true when Maul, increasingly consumed by his own rage to the point of blindness, falls for it.

Again: a wonderful fight and an excellent homage.

Then we get to Luke's stand-off with Kylo on Crait, in The Last Jedi.

An interesting take on the trope, also with meaningful narrative impact. As Rian Johnson writes in the TLJ screenplay:

"This is not like a saber fight. This like an old-fashioned samurai duel."

Here too, the tension gets built up...

... and every time we're close to getting that climax, Luke dodges.

It leaves a feeling of dissatisfaction, which is exactly what Kylo is feeling as he boils with rage.

Suddenly, we do get the climax...

... and a twist. Luke was never actually there. Boom. Those inserts during the build-up phase? If you look at them again they're clues (Luke doesn't leave a mark on the ground, salt doesn't land on his clothes, etc). Luke wasn't engaging because he wasn't actually there, he was buying time for the Resistance to escape.

Okay. Cool.

Next time we see a "Kurosawa" duel... it's here, in The Mandalorian.

Again, a lot of posing, slow movements and patience, as is expected from the trope.

But we know nothing about the opponent Ahsoka is fighting other than her name is Morgan... so no emotional impact, there.

At some point, Ahsoka loses a lightsaber. The apprentice to the Chosen One is struggling against some rando.

We find out later on that Morgan is a Nightsister from Dathomir, and that's cool... but we already know how Jedi-trained folks fare against the Dathomiri.

If you ask me, it feels like manufactured stakes. But that's beside the point. In fact, y'know what? It's fine.

Though the impact of this duel isn't as great as its predecessors, the whole episode is filled with visual homages to Kurosawa's work.

It makes sense that the duel would be too. Also it's the first time we're seeing Ahsoka in live action, in a lightsaber duel, the hype is real. Let's cut 'em some slack.

So we come to the series Ahsoka... where almost every duel in the the show has the Kurosawa posturing and tip-toeing and... I dunno. I was bored?

Like, the primary purpose of this approach to duels is that it's meant to be suspenseful and intense... and now it's not.

Because we know Ahsoka is gonna beat the crap outta these droids...

... so why even bother faking some semblance of "what's her next move gonna be?" suspense? There's a hole right behind her, gee, I truly wonder.

Oh, you think putting her against an Inquisitor's gonna make us fear for her life, wonder if she's gonna get outta this situation unscathed?

She was wiping the floor with two of them at the same time, a decade prior. At 17, she was killing Inquisitors while disarmed.

Do you really expect your audience to fear for her life in a fight against Marrok?

So we get to the fight with Baylan, and the posturing and studying opponent's next move would be welcome here (two Order 66 survivors, knew Anakin, both well-trained former Jedi)...

... if we hadn't literally seen that same dynamic with Marrok who, again, we knew was gonna die.

No tension was built in either moment, the only thing it achieved was me pressing >> on my keyboard.

It's not captivating anymore, it's just slow and un-dynamic.

Bottom line:

Tributes to Kurosawa are nice. They're part of what makes Star Wars what it is. But c'mon, we get it already.

Lightsaber duelists don't need to tiptoe around each other and change poses at every fight. Because when the actually meaningful duels come up (like the one with Baylan), the impact will be lessened.

The "Kurosawa samurai duel" is artistic and interesting, but it should be used sparingly in order to maintain its charm and not get old and trope-y. AKA too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing.

[rinstrumental]

ellie gf headcanons pt. 2

# i’m a headcanon machine i cant be stopped… also she is literally a cheesy ass lose girlfriend this part is actually canon confirmed by naughty dog. modern au

if your native language isn’t english/speak any language other than english she is going to think you’re ten times cooler than you already are. best believe she’s hopping on duolingo first thing she gets home too so she can impress you (i know duolingo isn’t the best but she’s TRYING)

she took spanish in high school though

even though she can’t retain the info for shit she will search up terms of endearment in your language and call you them all the time even if you think its corny she can’t stop

whenever someone asks her what her type is she just says “my girl” with the most stupid grin on her face

she fidgets SO much omg she doesn’t wear rings often but when she does (you said they looked nice one time and all of a sudden she’s wearing rings every time you see her) she’s constantly playing with them. she also plays with the strings of her hoodie/loose threads etc.

*playing basketball* “this one’s for you babe” *completely misses*

such a nerd for collectibles!! has been since she was a kid. she has funko pops, vinyls, pokemon cards, snowglobes, plushies, smiskis, calico critters she’s a slave to capitalism

little social media presence. her only instagram account is basically a photo dump which is private with only her closest friends following it. (spoiler alert, most of the pictures are of the two of you)

in the last post i said she’s have a pet gecko but i also strongly believe joel would have a dog. could be a teeny tiny chihuahua or a fucking great dane idk just give my man a good friend! ellie also loves that dog (whatever it is) dearly

doesn’t have any piercings and doesn’t ever consider it unless you say that they’d look good on her… your word is her law FR 😭😭😂😂

okay no she’s not dependent on you to the point of it being toxic though. HOWEVER it’s a bit hard for her to express when she feels upset sometimes and gets jealous easily but she tries her best to communicate and keep it healthy

she has her tattoos though of course. although this is a modern au so she’d have different ones i guess… forearm one is definitely in the cards but also lots of tiny little ones. a few for her friends and family and a few she got in a drunken stupor

pottery lesbian that’s it

gets SOOO red when she’s drunk i dont care what anyone says her alcohol tolerance is average at best

i think she would play a sport sometimes. like volleyball. she plays competitively if she’s in school and she always wants you to come “watch your girlfriend be cool”. bring a sign - she’ll love it

kisses and hugs u after the game while she’s all sweaty too…ew but aw

she also really likes animated movies, not disney but like how to train your dragon and the spiderverse and puss in boots (im projecting). she went to see barbie and oppenheimer on the same day and she didn’t dress up but the spirit was there!!

she’s not a gymbro per se but joel probably would have workout equipment in the basement which ellie uses from time to time. and she’s just naturally lean because she’s an active person. pls tell her how big and strong and sexy and amazing she is

ok fine i think she likes being praised AND SHE DESERVES ITT like she’s such a wonderful girlfriend ❤️ ugh shes perfect I CANT STAND HER

goodnight and good morning texts are part of her routine

sunburns easily so you have to remind her to wear sunscreen all the time

doesn’t really know how to do makeup but she’ll paint your nails for you and do your hair

whenever the two of you spend the night together she’s usually last to get up. this bitch could sleep through the rapture i’m not kidding but it’s okay because it gives you time to admire her pretty face as she sleeps in peace and quiet for once

takes the aux very seriously you guys HAVE to share it. unless you like the same music and i think she would like radiohead, joy division, deftones and loser sad songs like that…. she also is a big fan of the spiderverse soundtrack and kendrick lamar though and thee stallion 😜 (i have two wolves inside me)

please reblog mwah thank you!!

[freakymcnastys]

“possibly in michigan” a creepp book - headcannons

general headcannons:

slenderman is british.

despite what people might think the mansion is way bigger on the inside

it has its own theater, bar, hell even a convenience store, no one actually knows how the store gets stocked

ben is too scared to go down there bc of that

the slender brothers come over every thanksgiving and christmas but offender is limited to the living room and dining room…

sally FORCES jeff to dress up for tea parties

jeff cuts his own hair but is surprisingly good at it

thinking about how smile dog is basically jeffs therapy dog :(((

jack has def tried to eat jeffs kidneys but give up cuz jeff woke up 💔💔

toby is an AVID game theory/matpat stan like he loves watching everything matpat is in so when he announced his retirement….lets say it was ROUGH.

slender puts all of sally’s drawings on the fridge and when they isn’t enough room he would rather buy another fridge then get rid of them

masky is like the stressed out older sibling 🤷‍♀️

ben has drank paint.

has a snapchat gc where they send each other snaps

whenever slender and jeff (or anyone for that matter) talk/argue slender has to bend at a 90 degree angle 😭😭

devon’s headcannons:

definitely butt dials people and scares the shit outta them 💀

going along with that devon totally prank calls people with ben and is like “is ur refrigerator running” 😭

her and jack watch reality tv shows (love and hiphop, dr phil, kardashins, etc)

devon’s fav movie is donnie darko…😁

she always sends jack funny tiktoks while he sends her reels

her chainsaws name is jellybean !

sometimes when she goes out with the proxys she brings fake slender pages (saying stuff like “bitchless” and the entire bee movie script) and hangs them up (but slender always finds them and yells at her)

her fav slenderbrother is probably trenderman

PERSONALLY i think that like the demon and jack are two different ppl so like whenever ‘the beast’ gets out it’s not rlly jack? yk?

so one time ‘the beast’ was fed up with jack actually letting himself feel feelings for devon that he brought devon to the tree where she got hung, to kill her 😁 but dw he failed but jack felt bad after ☹️👎

has told hoodie to ‘turn that frown upside down’….

goes up to masky and gets up real close and whispers… “i know what you are..” and just walks away..

maxine’s headcannons:

isn't quite used to newer slang so she still talks how people in the 1920s did and nobody really understands her that well...

she hates her cellphone and WILL NOT use it unless it's direly needed.

she definitely has a record collection but it's all jazzy and "old-timey" music and she does not let anyone else near her records or her record player

she would teach ben how to ballroom dance and then force him to have dancing sessions with her because her favorite thing to do when she was human was to dance at parties

slenderman FOR SURE banned smoking in the house but maxine is allowed to break that rule so she waltzes around the house with her huge cigarette holder bullying jeff cause he definitely wants to smoke.

she generally dislikes getting help with wounds and stuff because of all the malpractice that was preformed on her when she was human

the phantom of the opera (1925) is her absolute favorite movie and one day slender comes back from the store with the 2004 version and she literally falls in love with him right at that moment

she's like your grandma that 1. doesn't know how to work her phone (or tv or anything) and 2. says things that she thinks mean one thing and they actually don't... like for example....maxine: im sending lols jack: maxine someone died...why are you laughing out loud... maxine: oh i thought that meant lots of love :( jack: oh my fucking god bro

the effects of her lobotomy pop up from time to time when she's doing stuff so sometimes she loses the ability to focus and kind of "dumbs down" because people who are lobotomized often lose their higher levels of intellectuals and then she loses the ability to emotionally respond so slender has to help her out and keep an eye on her cause she might do something dumb. :(( then once she comes back she feels so bad that slender had to basically babysit her and he feels worse cause how could anyone do his love like that

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS BUT- maxine and slenderman compliment eachother so well. he's a gentleman and she's a ladylike woman and they just...fit perfectly together

her favorite modern (ish) movie is the shining cause it reminds her of the good old days and she would be like "ah yes i remember when people would kill at parties" and everyone else is like "what"

her 1920s brain loves coloring books cause she's probably never been stimulated via colors so she has a bunch of coloring books and people come over and are like "slender i didn't know you found a child" and he's all like "oh no that's just maxine"

i think sometimes she forgets she doesn't live alone and she will walk out of her room in her underwear and is like "oh great heavens my bad gs"

- love always, kat + devina <3

[multimuseticles]

You know... I've been drawing ever since I was like 5 years old. It's something I've spent pretty much my entire life doing. The longest I'd ever really go without drawing is like a couple of months maybe, and lately I've been drawing on an almost near daily basis. But if I'm being honest, I'm fairly close to actually quitting.

I still love to draw and I don't really want to stop, but it's getting to a point where AI slop is just entirely taking over the internet. Finding even reference images these days is so difficult because google is filled with AI crap and a lot of actual art sites allow AI art(looking at you Pixiv and DeviantArt).

I used to get a couple of commissions a month just a few years ago. Then covid hit and I got a little less work because people didn't exactly have the same amount of money to spend, which makes perfect sense. But getting closer to the end of covid when people could actually go back to work etc, AI decided to creep its head up and now I'm lucky to get one commission every few months. Originally, AI art was laughable and it was only able to make really stupid shit that was basically illegible. Like that Dall-e thing.

Putting the rest under a read more because it's somewhat long.

But nowadays, a lot of people prefer to use AI than give actual artists attention. Especially now that a lot of big companies are pushing their own AI crap(looking at you Adobe and Meta). Instagram used to be a great place for artists, now its filled with AI crap that Instagram seems to fucking love and is basically training their AI on your own posts. They say you can opt out, but if you live in the USA? You seemingly can't. In the EU you can because of laws, so I was able to opt out. However. I don't trust Meta not to train off my shit anyway.

Then you've got Adobe, which y'know, was a thing for artists to create stuff, be that through Photoshop, Illustrator or even their video editors. But now they're just pushing their lame AI crap to do everything for you, and still charge a ridiculous amount for their service.

Now I'm not just complaining because I'm getting less work. It's just depressing that creativity is dying. Generative AI is being used in video games, movies, tv shows, music, youtube videos, voiceovers and pretty much EVERYTHING else. It's impossible to avoid these days. Sites that allow AI but ask you to tag it so people can hide it doesn't work either, because people just don't tag that shit.

Due to all this AI crap, artists are being accused of using AI to create their art, regardless of if they show proof or not. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I feel it's inevitable simply because I absolutely suck at drawing hands and I can just barely get the hang of them most of the time. A ton of actual artists have been essentially bullied to the point where they don't post their art online anymore, or are forced to change their art style.

It's so much harder for artists to get their work out there anymore because AI is taking over all of these sites so the majority of the stuff you see is generated bullshit. It has led to people being like "Why would I pay someone to do this when I can just write a prompt and get what I want in seconds?" and no matter what you say to people with this line of thought, they just do not give a single shit.

I'm fine with AI to an extent. I think it's fine to just use it for dumb shit between friends, or helping to get a design idea for an OC or something. But the moment you start making money from AI or posting it online and claiming it as your own(and saying that people should credit you if you used it???) is the moment I think it's not okay. Have you seen Facebook or Twitter lately? Filled with really messed up AI images and AI responses. Facebook is rampant with weird and disturbing looking AI generated images and Twitter is 90% bots these days.

This whole post was spurred on by a conversation I saw between two of my friends. One of my friends wanted to get into graphic design, and being the artist of the group and having experience in graphic design, he came to me for advice. He got some very basic stuff done and he was really proud of it. He was showing some of the stuff he made to our other friend who simply responded with an AI generation of the same thing saying "Just use AI man, it's quicker and looks better." It was super depressing to see, especially since I've had conversations about how much I hate generative AI with these same friends.

So at this point I'm on the edge of just stopping. I probably won't, but I'm starting to lose motivation because I feel like there is no safe place to upload my art anymore. Will I stop? Probably not, but the temptation is there. I dunno, fuck generative AI man.

Sorry for the long ass rant, but I'm just getting so fed up with this crap.

[the-inkwell-variable]

Writeblr Interview Tag!

Thanks so much for the tag, @sableglass!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels all the way. I've tried my hand at short stories, and they always end up being novellas or straight up novels by the time I'm done with them. May as well stick with what my little brain clearly desires!

What genre do you prefer reading?

Mysteries (cozy or otherwise), horror (especially zombie fiction or apocalypse fiction, yes please), fantasy (especially cozy, I love cozy fantasy so much, have you read Legends and Lattes?), and romance.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

I'm a little of both! I'll generally have a plan in my head at the very least, if not a brief outline written down somewhere, but when I actually sit down to write, my writing tends to veer off wherever it wants and do its own thing (for example, FUCKING CHUCK). As long as it makes sense, I tend to just let it go wherever it wants lol

What music do you listen to while writing?

Surprisingly, I don't listen to much music while writing. I'll daydream to it, absolutely, but I mostly just throw on some Markiplier or an old debate that I've heard ten thousand times and write to that. It's more about the background noise than the actual content, y'know?

But when I DO listen to music, I drift toward lofi or mood music compilations on youtube. The kind that DMs play during their DnD sessions. Love those so much, they really help keep me locked in a single mood, which I absolutely need when I'm writing a scene.

Favorite books/movies?

Oh god. Lord of the Rings (including the Hobbit don't @ me). Train to Busan (or any Korean zombie movies/shows, really). Some Disney and Pixar - Big Hero 6, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Emperor's New Groove, etc. The Strain is one of my favorite TV shows - I also love Cutthroat Kitchen above all else, a bunch of different anime, and Dance Moms (yes I know it's toxic and yes I am ashamed of myself for enjoying it. I pity the kids but I rage at the moms.)

As for books, my favorites are the Beechwood Harbor Mystery series, The Luminous Dead, Thief Liar Lady, All Systems Red, Legends and Lattes, A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking, anything Holly Black, Suffer the Children, Contagion, Luck in the Shadows, Assistant to the Villain, Dead of Night, and Surviving the Evacuation!

Any current WIPs?

Oh gosh. I'm bopping between From Carnival to Chamomile, a prequel to a cozy mystery series, and Dauntless, a zombie apocalypse trilogy, right now. Sometimes I'll work on Priestess Without Honor, a paranormal low-fantasy romance, and Chosen Against My Will, a dark mafia romance. I also have zer0 ALPHA, a lit-rpg isekai zombie apocalypse novel, but I haven't touched that in years and have only recently rediscovered my notes for it.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

I wear the same thing every day, surprisingly. That's the autism for ya. I love jeans and a T-shirt, especially if that T-shirt has a picture from an anime or show or something like that. Printed shirts, I think they're called. Oh, and mismatched socks. That's me.

Create a character description of yourself: 

Too tall for her own good and unwanted curves for days. Bobbed dark-blue hair with steel gray eyes. Too busy writing or gaming to really notice what's going on. Expect a text back within seconds of receiving it - she reads faster than most people expect and tends to read every text twice just to give it that safety buffer. If there isn't a snack and a drink nearby, call the police.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Hehehehe maybe. But not exactly in a good way. I'm very much the kind of person who will put someone I dislike into my book just so they can get the justice they won't get in the real world, even over something as minor as pronouncing my name wrong on purpose (I'm looking at you, Keiara).

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I want to say yes because I kill off characters constantly, but when it comes to my main OCs, no. I can't bring myself to kill them at all. I go out of my way to create characters for death (like FUCKING CHUCK) rather than put my favorites in the line of fire. I think that's a problem I need to work on.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee

but I do love tea, especially in the fall. In the fall, I tend to drift toward tea and apple cider rather than coffee.

But otherwise? Coffeeeeeee

Slow or fast writer?

Fast writer when I actually sit down to write! Slow writer when I'm procrastinating. I've been working on Dauntless for...thirteen years? Twelve?

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

I get inspiration from EVERYTHING. Dreams. Books. Movies. Something dumb my partner says offhandedly.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

I absolutely want to be something cool, like a shadow mage. But I'm probably a little gremlin that hides in the edges of the woods and steals your socks. Mmmm socks.

Most fav book cliche:

Enemies to lovers! Especially when one person is smitten at firstt sight and doesn't realize it.

Least favorite cliche:

Friendship is magic. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with powerful friendships being front and center, but when the big bad is literally destroyed because fRiEnDsHiP I gag a little bit. I also hate undeserved happy endings - make the ending make sense. If it's a sad or horror book, sometimes the ending needs to be bad. And finally, forced romance. No. No thank you. Some stories don't need romance.

Favorite scene to write?

Descriptions! Am I good at them? No. Will I spend three pages describing a tree? Maybe.

Also conversations. I tend to do a lot of conversations and monologues in my writing. Need to work on that.

Reason for writing?

If I don't write down the ideas in my head, I will explode.

TAGLIST: @falconfate - @space-writes - @leahnardo-da-veggie - @i-can-even-burn-salad - anyone who wants to take part!

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

AAAAAAA ur reading house of leaves??? im buying that next week thats so cool! do u have any book recs? or recs in general shows movies etc

I AM!! I'm several chapters in and super enjoying it, although reading it alone in a tiny hotel room in the middle of nowhere was a Distinct Mistake.

As for recs! I'm going to specifically go for stuff that isn't super mainstream, in the hopes that I'll recommend you something you have never heard of before. Here's some stuff for you!

Podcasts

Dreamboy - one-season podcast from Night Vale Presents, definitely one of their less-known ones. Explicit in places, what I would describe as AO3 M-rated sex scenes. A worn-out musician ends up embroiled in inexplicable events in a small town, and also there's a murderous zebra and fossils that want to fuck. It's a musical cinematic podcast masterpiece, I'll always be sad there's only one season.

Apocrypals - nonfiction. Two non-believers read through the Bible and try not to be jerks about it. If you're interested in theology and apocryphal texts but have no idea where to start, this is such a good place. The hosts are delightful, and have a really nice way of taking you through all the various layers of Biblical scholarly nonsense. Considerable backlog of episodes, but worth listening through from the beginning. Weirdly, there's continuity.

Til Death Do Us Blart - five poor fools watch Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 every Thanksgiving from now until the end of eternity, and report back yearly on their mental state. You may think to yourself 'wow, that doesn't sound like a good time'. It isn't, to the hosts. To anyone listening along, it's fucking hilarious. Nine episodes so far, and it's a single episode per year, so plenty of time to catch up.

Web Series

The Monument Mythos - Several seasons. surreal analogue horror alternate history of America told through a series of videos of varying format. Brilliantly absurd, fucked up, and horrifying by turns (sometimes all at once).

No Evil - ongoing animated series, made mostly by a single person. Please don't immediately wave it off because of the colorful anthropormorphic animals. The mythology is amazing, the animation is sublime, and the music is haunting. The pacing is a bit strange at first, and you may be confused at the way the plot moves, but you have to understand that it's all part of its charm. I think about No Evil way too much.

Dances Moving - you may know Brian David Gilbert from his work at Polygon, and his more recent absurdist Youtube ventures. This is from way before that! It's a fun and gradually heartwrenching musical exploration of a local dance group and what it means to move away from home. Seven short episodes.

ENA - this one is a bit more mainstream, so you may know it already. Who knows what's going on in the world of ENA? Definitely not me. Absurdism at its finest. Bizarre architecture, strange characters, if it's a metaphor I don't know what it's about, but the vibes are immaculate. Three actual episodes of varying length, apparently there's a video game set to come out soon-ish?

An Unauthorized Fan Treatise - serialized story. If you're a fan of internet drama a la Msscribe, you're going to adore it. It's a fiction story about a fictional fandom, and one massively messed up person who decides that two of the lead actors in her favorite show are secretly dating and sets out to prove it with a cited multi-chapter essay. And then it gets wild.

Comics

The Property of Hate - a wonderfully dynamic and colorful webcomic about a young girl getting chosen to become a make-believe world's Hero. Puns and wordplay galore. Absolutely delightful characters and worldbuilding. Ongoing.

Eat the Rich - a young woman goes to meet her boyfriend's extremely rich family, and learns their horrifying secret. Warning: cannibalism. 5 issues, complete.

Beanworld - impossible to describe, but I'll try. An absurdist semiabstract musing on the nature of life and cycles and community, set in a world where the rules are weirdly two-dimensional and you as a reader get weirdly invested in the routines and cycles that the inhabitants follow. And all of the main characters are cute lil bean guys. If you read anything on this list, do this one. (Linked is the only online version I could find, and it's not up-to-date. I own all the omnibuses in print. If you liked what you read here, I recommend tracking them down too.)

Short Stories (in no particular order, and certainly not all my favorites - just the ones I had bookmarked and on hand)

Bride, Knife, Flaming Horse - a young Indian woman looks for marriage in the fantastical, and finds several suitors

Fish (in 13 sections) - an obsessive unpacks a bewildering insult. Just, really fun.

Fandom For Robots - a robot discovers anime, and definitely doesn't have big feelings about it

Informed Consent Logs From The Soul-Swap Clinic - two people decide to swap bodies, for somewhat murky reasons.

The Magician's Apprentice - a young girl learns magic from her mentor. This one's about grooming. But not like that. But also a lot like that. But also it's so much more fucked up than that. (This one is a MEGA favorite, it's by Tamsyn Muir. Who you may recognize as the author of the Locked Tomb series - I'd rec that too here, if it wasn't definitely too mainstream for what I'm going for. Read this. And also read the Locked Tomb.)

The Tale of the Foolish King Who Banished Music - it's a snippet of a longer Doctor Who audio drama, but stands so nicely on its own. Unnerving little fairy tale.

The Spider - 1908 horror story about a man trying to figure out why so many men have spontaneously committed suicide in a specific hotel room. It's basically a TMA statement, in more ways than one.

Video Games

What Did Veronica Dream Of? - strange little rpgmaker puzzle game. Obtuse and weird, and I adore it. I wish I could explain why.

Secret Little Haven - point-and-click about being a trans girl on the internet in 1999. Completely nails the tone it's going for. Period-typical homo- and transphobia.

Linelith - a short (1-hour) puzzle game with no plot and no characters, and yet it contains one of the greatest plot-twists of all time. I'm begging you to play it immediately.

Lingo - puzzle game about linguistics, words, non-Euclidean goemetry, and figuring out an endless series of rules in a constantly expanding world. RIDICULOUSLY clever and good, and I've been playing it almost continuously for the last few months. It's got so much content for such a reasonable price, and the community-made maps add even more content (and are also excellent). If English isn't your first language, you may struggle, but otherwise - grab a bunch of friends and stream it. It's better with friends helping you out, I can guarantee it.

For A Change - a 1999 interactive fiction game about raising the sun in a world where words do not mean what you think they mean. If you're familiar with old text-based games, go ahead and play it - otherwise, you may want to read this transcript of a group of people playing it together instead.

Other Things

Carmilla - the classic 1800s lesbian vampire novella. I read it very recently, and it's extremely good. Absolutely delivers on the lesbian vampire premise in full gory detail, although do be aware that it was written in the context of homophobic fear.

Alberio - very fun light musical about two siren brothers reconnecting under less-than-ideal circumstances.

Mosquitoes - stage play about life and families and physics (theoretical and practical both). Very heavy topics, pulls no punches. The Boson's final monologue always wrecks me.

Ghost Quartet - musical/song cycle/experience about love, death, alcohol, and (of course) ghosts. Lots of cyclical stories and time travel weirdness. All of the songs are incredible.

Yankee and the Foreigners - music group that performs delightful upbeat covers of songs in animal onesies. Their Bare Necessities cover is a favorite of mine.

I'm sure there's lots more things I could rec (not a lot of books or movies here, huh? sorry about that. I immediately forgot everything I've ever read and watched) but these were the things that came to mind when I sat down and wrote this list, so hopefully there's something new and good for you in here!

[meanhare]

very specific distractions

because things like "read, draw, walk" are kinda not hepful for me personally (what to read? what to draw? where walk?). also if you have no friends you can do all these alone bc i also have no friends. warning: some of them are kinda edgy

learn about sodas over the world and make a list of 10 (or more) sodas you want to try the most

draw your fav character in decora, scene, patched crustpunk or any other clothes/style that are long and/or hard to draw

learn armenian, georgian, katakana or any other unfamiliar alphabet/writing system

find in library and read any book about antarctica

watch bela tarr's satantango

find hungarian bands that play your fav music genre

google and read about twonosed dog breeds

go outside and take pics of your fav 10 buildings in your city

take some money and buy more pants and/or socks (theres always not enough of them +you dont have to try on them and then cry in change room)

depict your ideal room in details

create an alien/fantastic animal/breed, draw it and describe its habital, height, weight, color, natural enemies, diseases it prone to, how common are mutations like albinism or polydactylia etc

write n details whole 5 pages of how you feel like. if you feel bad, write how awful is everything, how you want (or dont want)it to end, how shitty is your mood. if you feel nothing, write how you are not feeling, how empty and desolated it feels.

learn how to make an origami of your fav animal

burn some trash

create a secret blog. it may be for something you like, for writing honest opinions, for pretending that you are cishet christian gymbro, anything. take time to made out a good name and url and find a good pfp

learn few songs on other languages

try every tea you can find. sometimes theres boxes of assorted teabags with different tastes, its good for trying different kinds

do some jigsaw puzzles. theres many online jigsaw sites

(re)watch or read an interview of your fav obscure music band

find even obscurer music band

learn about some east asian holidays and plan to celebrate some of them

draw your recent dream in mspaint

switch language on you tumblr/phone/computer to one you dont know (but only if you familiar with your device enough and know how to change it back for if necessary)

find some longass 100question ask game and answer every question (no need to post it, you can do it in your head or write it down in a notebook)

make picrews of yourself, ideal you, your friend, your imaginary friend, pet, musician or character

learn how to swear on every language

go to any poll blog and vote

duolingo. yes

if you dont have mustache and beard, draw it on your face and maybe take some selfies with it for fun

watch that movie someone somewhere once recommended you but you still didnt watched somewhy

write or draw something very unsetting what would probably get you termed instantly if you post it online

brush your hair, your dog/cats hair, your toy ponys hair, anything brushable

read the whole wikipedia page about any subculture you find interesting

get some stickers and stick them anywhere in your room

write lists of favs (fav drinks, bands, dog breeds, movies etc)

read modern ukrainian writers. sergiy zhadan, irena karpa, yurij andrukhowych (idk if i wrote their name in english correctly) also make music, check it out

search for your local bands (the easiest way is to search your city tag in bandcamp)

then search for your local concerts. go to your local concerts of your local bands. most of them are cheap

get a blindbox toy. idc if youre adult. its fun. maybe get a kinder surprise egg if you can (a chocolate egg is usually 110-120kcal)

watch some good old bloody slasher or japanese horror movie

get a notebook with a locker and make a fucking anadiary. make it sappy or overdramatic or heroinchicy or 80rockstary. doesnt matter

google about arsons in your hometown and look at cool fire pics

[ciaran]

if you don't mind me asking, do you have a diagnosis of adhd? if not, how did you come to learn that you have adhd? the part about feeling like scribble more than a person resonated like. a lot. so. I'm sorry if this is too personal, you obv don't have to answer if you don't want aaaaaa

haha its fine um. i did my research basically i looked at the symptoms and experiences of other people w adhd and also decided based on the severity of the impact on my life. i do have a formal diagnosis bc i wanted medication but i dont take my meds regularly for various reasons. these are my primary adhd issues

lack of short term/working memory or its very poor (i lose track of tasks easily)

trouble organizing and breaking down tasks

inability to start on things bc every task feels mountainously overwhelming no matter how simple

executive dysfunction ("i really want to do this thing and i can do this thing but i am not why why why why why")

poor emotional continuity/generalized forgetfulness

sometimes brain goes SO fast. other times brain doesnt go at all

sometimes i am so confused by information

people tell me how to do something. i am listening. after they finish talking i DONT know what they said

other things

when im really bored my head hurts and i feel sleepy. the sleepiness is fine but my fucking?? head hurts??? when im too bored???

in school my grades were like, 49% scraped pass in some subjects and 85%+ in others. no congruence whatsoever

i NEED stimulation. i cant do movies or watch anything basically bc i cant just sit there and absorb something quietly. i can read or play video games but if m doing smth w my hands (writing, drawing) i need music. 2 sensory input minimum. 2 simultaneous trains of thought or everything gets derailed

i change tabs and instantly forget what im doing

and i have trouble paying attention to things, i procrastinate, etc. but everyone w adhd is different and you might find that some but not all of these things are you. look at other peoples experiences and pattern match.

lastly, diagnosis is a tool for you to get the resources you need. dont feel pressured to be formally dxed unless you need medication. if you want to self dx then go ahead, just keep a handle on why youre dxing and what youre hoping to get out of the process. remember, its for you. your happiness matters.

[geodetojoy]

For the ask game!

-If money weren’t an issue and you didn’t have to worry about work/paying rent/surviving capitalist hellscape what would you do with your life?

-What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever read and why?

-If you go back and relive one memory, which one would it be?

Ooo hello anon!!

Also this gets a bit personal near the end, especially in 3, which I guess is the point, but be warned!!!

1. I gave an answer for this a bit ago, I rb’d mysti’s post (I’m assuming you’re referencing that, I could be wrong)

But I’ll summarize anyway lmao

First, I’d run away. No exact place in mind, just away from where I am now. The only fragments of my past id bring with me are my cats, maybe one irl friend, and my online friends. Everything else, I’d leave behind.

I wanna give my cats the kind of life they deserve, bc right now they live in a basement with quite literally no access to the sun and it fucking breaks my heart.

I’d live somewhere pretty far out from society, likely near some forest, and I’d surround myself with plants and animals. I’d just love to be in a place with little to no light pollution and beautiful scenery. Not only would I love to live it, but I’d love to paint it too.

I’d focus on art more than anything. I’d finish WIPs, I’d have a studio in my house, I’d write, I’d study game design and make games, and so so much more.

I’d catch up on all of the videos and movies and music I need to see/hear

I’d let myself focus even more on my hyperfixations and throw myself into them entirely

And on top of that, I wouldn’t be afraid to accommodate anything for myself. I’d get rid of everything that causes sensory issues, I’d let myself stim constantly, etc. I just wouldn’t be afraid to be me.

(I think there were a few more things that I’m forgetting lmao so if you wanna dig for my last post feel free)

2. This is. The hardest fucking question I’ve ever gotten. How could you anon /j

There’s no way I could give just one answer so you get a list

1. Ok I can’t find a title bc I read this fucking ages ago but I loved it so fucking much it was a Pokémon fic where Ash and his greninja reunited and they had like telepathy, and it threw in a little bit of amourshipping as well which I used to be a huge sucker for. It’s mainly in this list bc of how well I can/could remember it; I would literally recite it to myself any night I couldn’t sleep bc a. I knew it so well and b. I wasn’t allowed on my phone after a certain time. It was also one of the first fanfics I ever read!

OK OK WAIT I FOUND IT ITS CALLED RETURN OF GRENINJA: UNITED BY ALEXANDRIA PRIME ON FANFICTION.NET

2. You Belong To Me by Smytherines!!!! I fucking love Spies Are Forever so fucking much and this fic kills me every time. Let my boys be happy!!!! Let them be soft!!!! Gah it’s just so beautiful and the art in it is fucking incredible!!! I could talk about it forever

3. Burning flames or paradise? Series by Insomnia!!!!!

Gah I love me some Smalletho!!! My boys just need to have a normal fucking conversation for once!!!

I’m also loving all of the new character additions and all of the relationships- I LOVE GEMS CHARACTER IN IT SMMM DUDE

4. To cradle love in open palms by svnnybee!!!!

The first Scarian fic I ever read and GOD is it a good one

Feat. scar being a big dumb boss and Grian being a little mischievous mole (but not for long bc he falls HARD for the guy he’s trying to spy on)

It’s just soooo fucking precious and sweet and I love them ok?

5. There is nothing more artistic than loving someone by Froggiestarrock!!!

Another Scarian one lmao but college au this time!!! Makes me cry every fucking time I read it dude it’s sooo good and we love some well-written disability rep for scar!!!! And aroace mumbo!!!!!

6. Take it all (even though I have nothing left) by Emojiconuser_456!!!

My absolute FAVORITE Qsmp fic

Charlie centric!!! My fav boy

I just looooove the way this is written and I loooove Charlie’s backstory and I loooove the way the slimes/magmas are written it’s all so beautiful and the WORLD BUILDING oh my god.

7. And how could I make this list without mentioning my writer friends!!!!

First we have eowynarchives with your lucky charm!!! A beautifully written treebark fic with wanderer Martyn and wizard ren!!!! I am in love with how it’s going so far it’s such a good story!!!!!

8. And continuing on we have my dearest soul-bound mother CharBeloved :DDDDD

They’ve written tons of stuff but my fav is Missing Memories, which is being rewritten with a new title of Found but Lost!!! It’s a really interesting genloss story with ciphers/puzzles (which I adore) and it’s got some fuckin crazy lore and I love it

9. Not a fic, but an author whose work I adore soooooo dearly!!! Quillandinktwink!!!! They also write spies stuff, curtwen specifically, and I could read all of their work until the end of eternity and never get tired of it. My fav of theirs right now is and you can savor every word which is a silly little confession story bc of silly little curt mega and his silly little hobby of journaling :)

10 ok I am cutting it here but the Ashamed series by TheBananaOwenSlippedOn (omg spies again who could have guessed) is an incredibly written au about Owen’s past (autistic Owen my beloved) and it’s soooooo painfully tragic and it makes me so fucking sad to think about the implications /ref

There’s so so many more that I didn’t include but I just genuinely can’t pick a favorite I just love fanfiction dude

3. Oooo another hard one!!!

I don’t wanna get too sad and depressing lmao but I don’t have too many good memories tbh?? Like I’ve had good experiences, I know I have, I just usually remember the bad ones, or smth happens that ruins what was once a good memory :/

And there’s tons of stuff that I’d love to go back and change, even if just a little bit, but that’s not the question LMAO

But I’ve got some in mind! And you’re getting another list deal with it /lh

1. My first ever dnd session!!! One part specifically that I’m SUPER fucking proud of-

So our party was kidnapped and imprisoned on a boat, and after we broke out we had to fight the crew. My character was a Druid, and she knew the spell Create or Destroy Water. So what I did was destroy the water in the sea surrounding one side of the boat so that the boat would fall backwards, sending everyone on board soaring in that direction :DDDD

My dm also played into this reaaaaaaly well and said that the lanterns lining the walls fell too and set the whole boat aflame it was fuckin AWESOME

2. My first time(s) talking to my moots!!!!! Mads, char, mysti, and now royal, if any of u see this, y’all have been the fuckin best part of my life and ily all so much I’m so glad to have met you :) <333333

3. The day I got two of my four (now one of my two, we have two away) kitties!!! I used to write about this every time we got a narrative writing assignment in school lmaoo so I’ll do a shortened version of that here >:)

So at my public library one summer, they were holding an event called Cat-urday where they brought a bunch of kitties from the local humane society for people to adopt! We went in, just having moved to a new house, planning to get two cats. I would get to pick one and my brother would get to pick another. I wandered around for a bit until one caught my eye. She was a mixed breed, almost resembling a tabby cat but with a white face, stomach, and boots, she was a few weeks old, and she had sprained her wrist trying to reach out of her cage. I picked her up to see if she would like me, and she practically melted into my chest.

Then, when we brought her home, she made my bed her temporary nest until she was fully nursed to health <33333

In summary, I fucking love my cats

(Btw I still have her, her name is snickers and she is so very dear to me :))) )

4. The day my mom discovered that I’m probably autistic

(I’m self diagnosed, that’s the only reason it’s worded like that)

While not necessarily something I remember fondly, it was an extreme fucking relief to hear that, a, someone else saw it too which really fucking helped with imposter syndrome, and b, I didn’t have to hide it anymore bc I thought that everyone I knew was veeeeeery ableist. Don’t get me wrong she’s still not great about it but just her knowing has made things a lot easier

5. Not one in specific, but I’d like to go back to a good time I had with my dad before I cut contact with him. Back when I thought he was a good person. Just so I could remember what it’s like for a lil bit

Edit: 6. I’d go back to the first time I watched spies are forever :))))))) GOD I fucking love that musical

This got….. incredibly long, sorry anon LMAOOOO

[clementine-side-blog]

Burt Fabelman SFW Headcanons

Summary: My personal SFW headcanons about Burt Fabelman.

(A/N: Keep in mind that I have not watched the movie yet. I just really like the character from what I've seen. Forgive me if I get some things about him wrong. Also, not worrying about the time period. Modern au cuz I'm lazy! <3)

(Read Below For Headcanons)

Personality:

I feel like he is a very caring and kind man.

He's always thinking about others and putting their needs before his.

Extremely altruistic. He makes LOTS of money from being a computer engineer, so he likes to donate to charities every now and then. He also volunteers at food banks occasionally.

Hates being alone. After divorcing Mitzi, his house felt very empty. Sure he got to see the kids every now and then, but when it was just him it felt terrible.

Very polite, timid, and gentle. Though, when provoked, he can be pretty intimidating. He doesn't tolerate disrespect.

He makes dad jokes a lot. They're terrible. His humor is just cheesy dad jokes and funny pictures of animals. He'd definitely scroll through Facebook and look at all of them.

He's a very patient person, but you don't want to push his buttons too much.

Burt is a fairly smart man. His IQ is maybe around 100? It's slightly above average.

The way he talks is very eloquent and professional, no matter who he's talking to. It's just how he is.

In a relationship with him, he's always spoiling you. He's basically a sugar daddy, but like, you two are actually in love.

He's a little self conscious about dating you, especially since he's not a Spring chicken anymore. Because of this, he tends to get jealous pretty easily. Don't take it personally though, he trusts you. It's just his own insecurities.

Hobbies:

He loves model trains. In his basement he has a few mini models on shelves. If you let him, he could talk for hours about them.

He is a huge cinephile. Originally, he started to watch more movies to be able to talk with Sammy about his passions. But that grew into a hobby, and now he's just as passionate about cinema as Sammy is about directing. Some of his favorite movies are: Fight Club (but he HATES the sex scenes); Brokeback Mountain (he cried during it); American Psycho (he read the book originally, so he watched the movie after. he knows its satire and that's why he loves it.); Castaway (he just rlly likes this movie).

He does not play video games, but in a relationship with him, you do. It might not be a hobby for him, but he enjoys to watch you play.

Baking is a fun hobby of his. He really loves to make brownies and macarons. All of his treats are bomb asf.

Taking care of his front lawn/backyard is something that helps him relieve stress. Plus, he actually enjoys it.

He doesn't listen to music that much, but when he does, it's these bands: Red Hot Chili Peppers; The Beach Boys; The Rolling Stones; The Beatles.

Random:

I can't really explain why, but I headcanon him as being in a relationship with someone who is the exact opposite of him. So like y/n would listen to metal/rock and is very hyper as opposed to Burt's mellow personality.

I think he'd also be in a relationship with an autistic and queer person. Literally fight me on it. Do you know how fucking wholesome it would be for him to go to Pride parades and get all dressed up for them? And always making sure you're not overstimulated in public? UGH SO FUCKING WHOLESOME.

Whenever y/n is driving somewhere with Burt, he lets them control the aux. He always regrets it though, because he swears you make his ears bleed with the music.

Took y/n to a Slipknot concert and felt like he was having a seizure. Bro did NOT take his eyes off of you. He saw one of the members use an empty barrel as a drum and hit it with a lit torch, and he rambled about fire safety. Though, he thought it was pretty cool...

Like I said before, Burt Fabelman LOVES to spoil you. He'll take you on super romantic dates, buy you merch for your favorite bands/shows/movies etc, and takes you to concerts.

He rarely ever cusses. The only time he really does is when he loses his temper (which is rare), or during intimate moments (sometimes).

His favorite color is blue.

You jokingly call him your sugar daddy and he thinks its funny. Though he never says you're wrong...

In the summer, he sees his kids every other week, but during the school year he only sees them on weekends.

[arcplaysgames]

Yosuke, audibly tearing up: HAHA i bet chie is crying right now lmao ANYWAY I GOTTA GO IRON THE DOG, BYE

I want Chie and Yosuke to accidentally go see a sad movie together and bawl their eyes out and then make a pact to never speak of the incident again. Or, wait, Yosuke would want a pact, Chie would be like "dude have you MET me i cry at the drop of a hat! everyone has seen me cry! i'm not a baby about it like you!" and then they fight about it but Chie agrees not to tell everyone Yosuke cried.

YUKIKO BEST GIRL. man i remember back at the start of this game when i didn't dig her vibe and now i just am happy every time she shows up bc its sure to be good

anyway, everyone celebrates new years together, and I have a full body flashback to another Reverie Vantas, standing at Naganaki Shrine in Iwatodai and the beautiful music that came with the turn of the year as the end of the world was nigh.

I sure fucking hope the end of the world is not fucking nigh AGAIN.

also everyone look at naoto's winter outfit. my god the transmasc swag is off the fucking charts. look at them. that's a BOLO TIE. their pants are plaid print. impeccable. I'm applauding.

Nanako and Reverie make a Teddieman. It's adorable.

Then the game is like "hey go say happy new year to all your slinks" and i thought I'd pop in on Margaret and Marie

(also, Persona, you are a COWARD, let me have a link with Igor. COWARDS)

Marie is gone?????? The fuck.

This sounds like it's gonna kick off the bonus dungeon so good for me hitting the flag? but also what, she's GONE?

My favorite duo arrives because Yosuke has plans for a skiing trip, but also I just am thrilled to be a bystander in the Yosuke And His Annoying Younger Brother He Found In A TV Dimension show. Yosuke literally feels years older when Teddie is around because he's constantly sparking off him in that particular sibling way. It's genuinely heartwarming.

Yosuke: teddie is such a pain in the ass

Teddie: I'll stay with sensei for a few weeks

Yosuke: WHAT WAIT NO 8C

It'll be okay, Yosuke, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe your parents will draw up official adoption papers. Teddrick "Teddie" Hanamura. That sounds awful but we're gonna roll with it!

also thank god teddie is here bc Dojima and Nanako are out of town for a bit so Teddie is the one there when Reverie fucking collapses. WHICH HAPPENED IN P3P TOO ODDLY ENOUGH. Persona be like "oh, ur near the end of the game? inexplicable illness time!"

Weird.

Reverie dreams of Marie standing in front of the bonus dungeon, I assume. I ACTUALLY THINK YOU'RE PRETTY NEAT MARIE SO I WILL SEE YOU LATER! WAAAAAAAIT FOR ME, I'M COMIN' etc etc.

good ol teddie

Margaret calls to inform us that she's on google maps looking for the bonus dungeon and will get back to us as soon as she has directions. the Velvet Room has terrible data reception.

WAIT NO THIS IS PRE-GOOGLE MAPS. she's gotta use MapQuest to plot a route and then find a printer to make a copy of it. That shit takes time.

JUNPEI THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, HOW DOES MY HAIR LOOK wait wrong lightning bruiser i have a terrible crush on. dammit.

[bnnuy-wabbit]

HAAIIIIII you can call me Lago, im 21 (i dont know how EITHER), im just some guy*. this is my main blog and where i throw funny things that makes my brain produce juices and also random ass personal poasts.

one of those he/shes they never warned you about (pathogenic variant they have yet to make any vaccines to protect you from)

my art tag is #feral art tag.

there will be adult things in this blog because im an adult. follow at your own risk etc. were horny in here towards men occasionaly.

I'm brazilian. From Brazil. As in born here, living here and stuck here for the foreseeable future. é nois 🤙

Everybody says I'm really nice! I am Unable to hit people up first though, but if you'd like to be friends, send me an ask and I'll give you my discord!!!!

i have many interests (mostly music and nerd shit) and funny things that I'll be putting under the read more lest this post get Unbearably Big. There are flashing blinkies down there by the way.

OK SO INTERESTS. I like MANY things! and i have favorite things! I think it's really cool of me to have favorites. i decided I'm going to wear them on my sleeve. anyways Here's some things i Like.

MUSIC!!! its one of my favorite things ever. I play the guitar and a bit of bass. heres stuff in no particular order of favoriteness. Just stuff i care enough right now to remember.

Linkin Park (meteora, hybrid theory <3)

My Chemical Romance

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Mindless Self Indulgence

scalene

Rammstein

Ft-rj (listen to it or i am going to chase you with a broom)

francisco el hombre (i recommend the rasgacabeza album)

danny bond

2000-10s pop!!! fuck it, lady gaga, britney spears, kesha, katy perry, black eyed peas, that sorta jazz.

Every single Homestuck song there is. i have listened to all of them multiple times. My favorite albums are colours and mayhem and also the beforus fan album.

Dad rock (acdc, queen, talking heads, nirvana, judas priest, Some pink floyd etc)

Industrial and Adjacent. I've been listening to code:redcore a lot and some grammostola actaeon lately. processor also fucks.

OTHER THINGS I ENJOY

Eragon (the books)

Disco elysium.

ADVENTURE TIME. I AM OBSESSED.

How to train your dragon (the books. specifically.)

Animated movies!!! Specially the hand drawn ones.

My horrible little OCs (@honsebeasts just go there but also Beware.)

Worldbuilding. I do aliens and monster speculative biology. Most of my thoughts on it are on the Above mentioned blog though.

Real life physiology and anatomy also

MEN (and like 3 fictional women.)

HORSES!!!!!!!!!!!

stranger things

Pokemen (i do not know a single thing after gen 6 though.)

Dungeons and dragons, sometimes

Traditional art like watercolors and oil pastels

Drawing my blorbos in the same side facing pose or just standing there.

Drawing in General actually! Designing characters is my passion

Fictional fathers

sewing and felting and sculpting and painting and singing and playing

COLORS. i love colors. i love looking at them. i love playing with them. i would like to eat them if i could. i love warm palettes.

Hiveswap (pissing screaming CRYING)

MONSTERS!!!!!! They're really cool and gay and hot.

Portal (the games. all of them. glafos........ kissing her)

Half Life.

y2k and 80s-90s vibes. i think its awesome.

I am afflicted by the human condition and also a few other funnier conditions. my brain and my body dont work right.

If you want to know the brunt of the brain ones: autism adhd avpd. they all impact heavily how i interact with people with people. Sorry in advance if i can't keep conversation going.

I'm some sort of queer thing. If we need to get really specific, id say "bisexual aromantic bigender femme", mostly into men and butches, but Queer will do just fine. I'm a self entitled part time pretty fag and ugly dyke in my free hours. Intersex it turns out.

[its-a-hil]

answering everything for this ask game

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect? there are. a number of them. flare (clark powell, for homestuck) magilou's theme (motoi sakuraba, for tales of berseria) electricity forecast (inabakumori, really everything by them is just. so good) 14.3 billion years (andrew prahlow, for outer wilds)

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)? how hard teaching is :/ idk it's difficult to process anything else when im having a fulltime job for the first time in my life -_-

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home? yes absolutely i need to wear something comfy and soft and unrestrictive so like. leggings and a t shirt. having to wear vaguely formal clothes to work is nice for my self esteem but they are absolutely not home clothes at all

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with? not at the moment but i want to!! new year's resolution is to buy/make a necklace with 30 lunar phases and wear the appropriate one every day in 2024

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them? i have an older sister, we're extremely different lmao i guess we're both academically inclined and like reading fantasy, but that's like. it. though we are both currently getting our masters degrees from the same university so that's neat

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does? i guess… seeing something that was more beautiful than i expected? that's very vague hold on one time i was walking home from my office hours as a ta after a student had held me late these were evening office hours, so like. it was 2230, i was not dressed for the cold, i was annoyed at the student but but as i was passing a little field of grass, there were little ice crystals on the blades in the light of the streetlamp, as the wind was blowing the grass and i was walking past it the grass glittered i cant think of a better way to describe it but ive never seen anything like it since it completely made my day so yeah. that's my answer

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else? hm idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i feel like inside jokes usually just become part of my vocabulary

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is? fiction i think it's because im much closer to being good at writing than i am to any other art form so it resonates more with me since i can feel/imagine its creation in a way that i cant for music or visual art also sometimes i read my own past writing and it eats me alive

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you? it's associated with my name obv, since it's just a pronunciation guide but it's also associated with my avi edits, which are wonderful and make me feel great joy

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot? oh absolutely also not at all past me and present me both had/have an absurd inability to compartmentalize, a large degree of silliness, and a general love for the world the main difference is that ive… done more things

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again? not quite a movie or a book but. katanagatari. i really liked it but also it is so fucking slow i tried to rewatch it a couple years ago and i couldnt bc it was just so wordy

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired? it's quite easy to tell if im upset or tired i feel idk if theres a difference between them just like. looking at my eyes. also i take pauses when im tired/upset. also my voice is just. god. unsure about a tell for whether im happy though im not very in tune with my emotions to be able to tell that at least with other people if im by myself ill stim and the cadence/type of stim makes my emotional state obvious but who ever sees that

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts? things that encourage me to do something i want to do but need the motivation for my college friend group does a yearly gift exchange and a couple years ago i wished for earrings as motivation to get my ears pierced (it took me another 9 months but. we still did it girlies !!)

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life? hm. failure? failing a class, or having a relationship break down, or tripping and getting myself seriously injured just. something that reminds me how ubiquitous loss is, that forces my brain to accept the fact that it's okay to not try to be perfect

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless? aranea homestuck!! something about the way that she knew that the game over timeline would break, did her best to avoid it, and everything fell apart anyway the part where she kisses jake and is like "wait why are you freaking out?? i know you like me this was supposed to encourage you" is just. she's doing her fucking best and putting her all into saving the timeline and yet everything she's doing is hurting and she doesn't know why also the part where she snaps and mind controls damaras to smash planets together in a desperate attempt to kill the condesce. so important. love her idk if she even counts as a villain but the story hates her so. it counts for me

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on? haha… "decorated"... that sure is a word…………

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with? oooooh answer !! god. tales of luminaria was so fucking good!! (this was the trailer theme, and it was honestly the first thing that clued me into the fact that the game would be amazing)

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about? i guess for a general hypothetical person, i'd tell them how i have a teaching job now, how i have to manage a horrible curriculum that's just. extremely pedagogically unsound i'd also tell them that i went to la over the summer and got to see my 2nd space shuttle orbiter, that i don't yet live somewhere with public transit but that day is growing ever closer and im so excited

[moonstrider9904]

I'm about to go on a probably incoherent ramble about how Bendy is indeed peak character design but also how shocked I am at the fact that I'm enjoying a horror game so much

Context: I'm not a fan of horror at all in any of its forms. Movies, games, literature, none. Nope. On all fronts, there is no reason why I would find my interest piqued by a horror game, of all videogames, and I certainly didn't dwell over to it because it's a horror game.

I found Bendy and the Ink Machine because every so often I like to browse around for music new for me, and I stumbled upon the songs that were created for the game, with my favorites being Build Our Machine and Welcome Home. Debating internally, because I know I am naturally very adverse to horror as a genre, I decided to watch a gameplay of it to test the waters and opt out in case I felt like it (thank you, jacksepticeye, for having played the game years ago)

So with that out of the way I kinda just want to scream WHY AM I OBSESSED

WHY am I finding it so enjoyable to feel inside a chilling environment, why is that rush such a.... well, a rush?!

And I really think it comes down to Bendy.

When I first saw Bendy, this very unique, very stylish character designed in the style of the old Disney cartoons, I thought "Cool!" And yes, he is indeed, very cool - his design is fuckin' amazing.

Now, the very first time I ever saw Bendy was in the video for Gospel of Dismay, so my first impression was cool looking character who dances and moves up and down! So cute! Cool!!! And, sure, listening to the song a first time was like super sweet and all-

Then I actually paid attention to the lyrics, and I realized "Ok, this isn't the bubbly pal I'm thinking he is"

To make the story short, I finally decided to watch the gameplay because I watched Welcome Home and realized he's fucking unhinged - and you know me, guys. I'm not really a stranger to an unhinged boi with an interesting design

What I'm really trying to get to is:

Look at this dude (reference intended)

IT'S A SCHMOL BOI, RIGHT?!

RIGHT?

(more below because this got really long lol)

No, you see, the thing about Bendy is that you're meant to have this first impression about him, and you're meant to associate those white gloves and those big pac-man shaped eyes with Mickey Mouse and others, which gives you a little mislead to follow, say, a "sense of comfort" when you associate him to things most of us have known as children.

But, have you noticed that a lot of those old Disney cartoons can feel creepy at times?

Bendy gives you this first impression because sure, he looks good and chummy, he was designed to be that, even ingame. Always smiling, dancing, etc.

What happens with Bendy is that the more you look at him, the more you stare at that unwavering grin and look into the shape of the eyes, something becomes unsettling. Bendy's first impression morphs with time the more you look at him and the more you watch him, for example, in the music videos; he appears angry, cocky, mocking, etc, no longer just the happy smiling dancy boi TM you first believed him to be. And, what's more is, you don't even need the rest of the music videos or the context for this to happen, staring at him is enough for you to, at one point, become unsettled by his presence. (love that word for this lol)

Taking Welcome Home as an example, which is the animation that ultimately made me obsess over this character's design (gosh, if you haven't watched it, do so!!) you see Bendy juxtaposed: what he was meant to be with what he's become, and you see some expressions like these (and these were seriously just my favorite look at that unhinged BOI-)

And, my favorites, which precisely show a spiral from what could have been to what turned out, and the pain felt over it in some deep corner (these frames are in one same sequence):

Please, give me characters who show pain over what's happened to them shifting into the fury and rage that they feel because it's happened to them--I want to forgive you, I want this to be better, but I'm furious that because of you I am in this living hell and it's been so long that this is the only way i know now--this is good shit as far as my historic preference in characters goes

And don't let me forget THE UNHINGED BOI:

talk about unsettling-

and this was all progressive. The more you see him, look at him, see that he's not the smiling happy boi, you fear him more - understandably. The concept is very logical and not revolutionary in itself, but what I'm saying is, applied to this character, it's pulled off incredibly well thanks to his base design. (Kudos to the animators who worked on this!)

What's even more mesmerizing to me is that this is the exact same principle the game uses in its own gameplay. Yes, when you start playing Bendy and the Ink Machine, you know you're in for a horror game and you expect certain things, and I'm not an expert on this since it's my first horror game pretty much ever but I expected jumpscares and gory images and shit.

While there are a few in what I've seen so far of the game, and the gore is ink rather than blood, the game doesn't rely on this.

No, the game lets you play through it in an eerily silent environment, where in many corners you will see that same. smiling. face. staring right at you, unblinking, unmoving. Watching you. Little by little, you learn of Bendy, you learn of Boris, of Alice, you learn of the people who put their lives (quite literally) into them and slowly, the game becomes more unsettling, filling you with a greater sense of dread the more you become immersed in it.

I think I'm so obsessed with this game currently because it's pulled off so well that even I, someone who runs away from horror, am captivated and mind-blown by this (but also, it's not a brutal, gross horror like what I would never engage with, rather a subtle horror that builds up in the environment that almost feels more psychological and is, I believe, harder to pull off).

[waheelawhisperer]

@norondor asked me to do this so now you all get to learn things about me that you never wanted to know.

Tea, coffee, or soda?

It used to be soda, but then I realized I was getting fat, said "fuck that", and cut a crapton of sugar out of my diet. I stopped drinking soda/eating candy/eating ice cream etc., dropped 30 pounds of extra weight, and gained 2/3 of it back in the form of muscle. I'm now slightly above my ideal weight because my work has led me to start stress-eating and annoyed about it.

I do drink tea somewhat regularly and have for a very long time.

I don't drink coffee at all. I hate bitter drinks, one of the many reasons I almost never consume alcohol.

Dogs or cats?

Dogs, though I love cats as well. I really enjoy being around all kinds of animals and tend to get along well with them, but dogs are my number one choice. Also, I'm slightly allergic to cats, so I don't get to chill with them as much as I would like. I'm dying to have a pet at the moment, but I simply can't take care of one while I'm living in a smallish apartment and have to work long hours on a regular basis. It just wouldn't be the responsible thing to do.

Can you play an instrument?

Not a chance. I should not be allowed near any tool which can be used to make music. I used to really like working with clay and I tried to get into drawing and animation, but I'll be honest, my artistic talents lean more towards the written word.

First song lyrics that pop into your head?

This really varies depending on what I'm listening to at the moment but if you blanked my mind out and told me to just let you know what lyrics came to mind, it'd probably be the first verse of the first song I can ever remember hearing:

The first thing I remember knowin' Was a lonesome whistle blowin' And a young un's dream of growin' up to ride On a freight train leavin' town Not knowin' where I'm bound And no one could change my mind but Mama tried

(Mama Tried, by Merle Haggard)

Do you have any tattoos?

Nah, but I was thinking of getting a womb tattoo that says "Property of Yang Xiao Long" and a tramp stamp that reads "Margaret Nearl's Boytoy".

Favorite place you’ve traveled?

Probably either Hawaii or Key West in Florida. Young me believed that there were many benefits to being a marine biologist and enjoyed going snorkeling at both places (don't get on my ass about how tourism is bad for Hawaii, I was like ten or some shit and had no control over where my family went on vacation or what we did when we got there).

Germany is probably the runner-up. It's probably the one country in the world where people love trains as much as us God-fearing Americans do, so I had a lot of fun visiting various train museums. Regrettably, I didn't get to go to the big one in Berlin because we stayed mostly to the south and west. My family wanted to go to France (puke) at the end of the trip, but I was able to avert that tragedy.

Worst place I've visited: Lubbock. Nothing to do in that shithole besides fuck cows, fuck coeds, and be racist. I've gone there for football games twice and both times the populace has proven itself the worst group of people I've ever had the misfortune of encountering. Every friend I've had who's gone to school there hated it and transferred out, sometimes with new and exciting STDs. Fuck Lubbock and everyone who lives there.

College Station also sucks ass, but at least it's closer to anything that isn't awful than Lubbock. I could go into more detail about that awful town and its obnoxious cultists, but it would take me a week to enumerate every single reason why the world would be a better place if a meteor obliterated College Station tomorrow.

Honorable mention goes to Houston because it's hot and humid and everyone there drives like they're trying to secure their places in Valhalla via vehicular combat.

What’s the last movie you watched?

Bold of you to assume I have time to watch movies. I don't think I've actually sat down and watched one for months. Probably Glass Onion?

You can hang out with one fictional character for an hour… who do you choose?

The immediate answer is to choose one of The Wives, but I'm taking a longer view of things and want to get as much benefit as I can out of an opportunity this valuable, which means that instead of just chilling with someone who I think is cool, I'm gonna try to fundamentally restructure my life here. I'd need to do my research, but I'd want to pick an omnipotent or near-omnipotent being that I could realistically convince to not only help me with things like healing chronic health issues, improving physical stats, getting fat stacks of cash, exerting my will upon the cosmos, and all that fun shit, but do so without exacting what I consider an intolerable price for it. I'm sure there's some supernatural being out there that would be willing to lend me some aid.

Compliment yourself:

This is a dangerous thing to ask of me because my ego is overinflated enough as it is, but I have a big brain, a big heart, and big muscles.