#ITS NOT WORTH DENYING DAZAI

[nugget-child]

Osamu “I have no such taste in men” Dazai

WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE 🏳️‍🌈

[taking-a-cupcake]

fem!beast dazai x fem!reader idk

content warnings: overstim, orgasm denial, fingering idk, kissing, wlw ;-;

——

Your breath comes out in shaky gasps. Her long, messy dark brown hair falls in waves around her face, she was literally so so fine (guys im drooling)

You knew she was the port mafia boss—

Without a word, Dazai takes your hand and leads you into her bed. She pushes you down onto the soft sheets and pins your wrists above your head

With that, she begins to kiss and nibble down your neck, her fingers tracing lazy circles on your skin. You let out a moan as she sucks on a particularly sensitive spot, and she smirks against your skin. 'So responsive, aren't you?' she teases.

Dazai continues her exploration, leaving marks on your thighs and a few bite marks between your legs. Your body is already aching for release, but Dazai has other plans. She leans back and looks at you with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Dazai just leans in and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. Her hand slowly trails down your body, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. She reaches between your legs and starts to lightly stroke your clit, making you gasp and arch your back.

Just when you think you can't take it anymore, Dazai stops and pulls away, leaving you aching and desperate for more. “Please.” You beg, trying to buck your hips against her hand.

She just laughs and shakes her head. 'Not yet,' she says, her voice husky with desire. 'I want to hear you beg for it.'

And beg you do, as Dazai continues to tease and torment you with her hands and lips. She brings you to the brink of ecstasy and then stops, denying you release once again. But just when you think you can't take it anymore, she changes her tactics and starts to overstimulate you, her fingers moving faster and harder against your slick walls.

The pleasure is almost unbearable, and you can feel yourself on the edge of climax. 'Dazai,' you moan, your voice pleading for mercy.

But she only speeds up her movements, sending you over the edge into an orgasm. You cry out her name as waves of pleasure wash over you, your body trembling and shaking beneath her.

Dazai finally stops and looks at you with a satisfied smirk. 'You're so beautiful,' she says, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face. 'I could watch you all day.'

You're too weak and sated to reply, but you can't help but smile at her words. Dazai leans in and kisses you softly, her touch now gentle and loving. 'I hope you're ready for more, because I'm not done with you yet,' she whispers, a glint of mischief still in her eye.

And with that promise, Dazai continues to show you the true meaning of pleasure, leaving you gasping and moaning under her skilled touch. And though she may deny your orgasms, the end result is always worth it.

…

ermm…..

[spookyquill]

The Thorns in My Heart are For You

Description: a Hanahaki Disease AU, Reader is in love with Dazai and has been for a long while. They were in the port mafia but they left with Dazai

Word Count: 2800

Part 2

Previous Part | Next Part (link)

TW: Blood, mentions of sickness, coughing up stomach contents, head over the toilet, passing out, alcohol

~~~~~~~~

Atsushi brought a different kind of light to Dazai. You watched him as he began hovering around Atsushi, teaching him all sorts of random things and dragging him to witness his events. A kid who should’ve held no mercy for the world, gave such kindness to everyone around him. Maybe he was an influence for Dazai, an ambition for him to follow. Whatever it was, it gave Dazai a different kind of glint in his eyes. 

You watch from your desk as Dazai laughs manically, having just thought up of another plan for an attempt. Atsushi walks gloomily over to you. “Hey (Y/n). Is there anyway you can convince Dazai to stop doing…” He gestures over to the man.

With a sigh, you reply. “Unfortunately no. I can talk to him as much as I can but it won’t stop him from wanting to. As long as someone is always around to help him out afterwards, he’ll be fine.”

Atsushi groans and takes a seat at his desk across from you. “Ranpo mentioned the other day that you and Dazai joined at the same time. Is that true?”

“Yeah.” You smile back at the memory. “We’ve been through a lot for sure, honestly I didn’t even think we’d make it far. But we’re here now, and I’m glad we are.” You look at Atsushi fondly. “You’ve saved him.”

Atsushi tilts his head. “Yeah. Didn’t he tell you how we met?”

You shake your head. “That's not what I mean. I mean that you gave him a new purpose.”

“Oh.” Atsushi looks to Dazai, who has now moved to poking Kunikida, literally. “I have?”

“Yeah. He’s gotten much happier since being here. He still acts the same but it’s… more. Like his smile is bigger, his laugh is more genuine. He seems to have found his purpose. And it’s been ever since he’s taken you in.” 

You hear Atsushi mumble, and barely catch his words. “I don’t think I make that much of a difference.”

You mentally slap him. “Atsushi. You saved him. Literally and figuratively. You are worth more than you think. Besides, everyone here has basically accepted that he’s your father.” You take a sip of your coffee as Atsushi sputters. “Don’t try to deny it.”

Before he can try to form a sentence of rebuttal, Yosano comes up to you. “I’ve been requested for a job nearby. Did you want to accompany me? We could go shopping afterwards if you’d like.”

You nod. “Sure! I’d love that. It’s been a while since we’ve shopped together.”

“Alright. We’ll head off then.” She walks away, her bag hanging from her shoulder. 

As you stand, you feel a familiar tickle at your throat. “Yosano, I’ll meet you downstairs. I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

Yosano waves, signalling her acknowledgment. You pass Atsushi a kind smile, waving him a quick farewell before you speed walk into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. 

You barely make it to the toilet before you’re spewing up your stomach's contents. Your lungs heave in pain, adding their own contribution to the mix. Your abdomen pulses in pain at having its muscles involuntarily clenched. It lasts for another minute before you can take a deep breath. 

Despite your arguments against it, you peek into the toilet bowl. 

Flower buds. Some half bloomed. 

“Great.”

~~ Time Skip a few days ~~~

It had been a quiet day. In fact, you had just finished your lunch break and were on your way back to your desk for even more paperwork to file. But something seemed different as you ascend the stairs.

You begin to wheeze about halfway up the stairs, your lungs feeling tighter than usual. It was confusing, normally you’d be able to jog a few flights of stairs before feeling even a little short of breath, but now it was halfway up one flight of stairs and your lungs were heaving. 

It doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You seem out of breath. Did you go for a run?” Dazai asks as you reach the office. 

You decide to go with the lie. “Yep! Sure did.”

Dazai hums. “It’s not a good idea to go running before or after food, you know.” 

You take a seat at your desk, taking in as much air as your lungs allow you to before exhaling in a sigh. “I know. But I had energy.”

Dazai is silent for a little while, and you think he drops the topic. But he speaks up once again. “You should let Yosano check you out. You don’t look that good.”

This time, you let out a sigh of annoyance. “She will probably just tell me that I need rest.”

“Maybe you should listen.” Dazai stands up from his desk, grabbing some things off his desk and heading for the door. “Take some days off to recuperate. You’ve been working a lot lately.” He smiles at you before he takes his leave. 

You felt conflicted. In one way you felt that he was discreetly calling you weak for needing a break. But on the other hand you felt that your hard work was being noticed. Strange. 

Before you can think much more about it, your phone chimes with a message. Looking at it, it surprises you who the messenger is. Regardless, you smile.

The rest of the day goes by smoothly. You finish off your paperwork with some spare time left over, so you begrudgingly take yourself to Yosano's office. She of course told you exactly what you thought she would. 

Once you left work, you went home, got changed into a more casual relaxed fit, and headed downtown. It doesn’t take you long before finding the restaurant. You enter, immediately being greeted by a server. 

“Hi! Reservation for Nakahara?”

The server nods and directs you through to the back of the restaurant where a few open booths line up against the wall. 

“Right on time.” Chuuya says as you reach his booth. 

You smile. “Chuuya! It’s been so long.”

Chuuya nods in agreement, sliding over to allow you space to sit next to him. You take the seat, using the position to give your friend a quick hug, relishing in the reunion. 

“How have you been?” He asks as he sets his fedora down on the table. You also take this moment to notice that his mafia coat isnt with him. 

“I’ve been alright. Work was quiet today.” You can feel your lungs heave with uncomfortable familiarity.

“Can imagine it would be. Lot of you working on cases and all that shit. Plus they have a hardworker like you on the team.” He bumps your shoulder, sending you a grin. 

A server quickly drops by a bottle of wine as well as two glasses before bowing and leaving the two of you alone again. Chuuya makes work with pouring the wine. 

“Yeah, but it gets quite boring pretty quickly-” You choke on a cough, phlegm rising up along with the too familiar tang of metal. You’ve been holding it back for so long today, refusing to let out even a small cough into your hand. It’s all been building up, and now your lungs about to force it all out.

Blood splatters over the table at the first cough. You cover your mouth, eyes going wide at the feeling of pressure at your lungs. You can’t even look at Chuuya at the moment. You jerk up from your seat, holding back coughs behind your hand as you stumble haphazardly to the bathroom.

You know you’re disturbing the entire restaurant, probably scaring everyone, but you couldnt give a fuck at that moment. All that mattered was making it to the toilet. 

You barely make it, dropping to the floor and skidding to the bowl, ejecting your body’s contents into it, both from your stomach and your lungs. 

It’s painful, the most painful thing you have ever experienced. Nothing trumps this. It feels like your body is on fire, exploding in white hot pain. Your muscles are too tense, it feels like they’re so tight that a breath of air could break them. You can’t breathe, can’t get oxygen. You feel light headed, it makes your head pound. Your stomach feels like its being squeezed of everything it has in one go, your lungs feel worse. It’s as if there are multiple hands inside your body wringing them of any and all moisture.

It feels like it's been hours by the time you can take a breath of air. You gulp the air, feeling much needed relief for a moment before your body forces another wave of ejection, thankfully this one doesn't last as long.

You feel someone behind you, hands caressing your hair out of your face and rubbing your back. A cascade of voices can be heard as well, one closer to you sounding louder and more aggressive than the rest. 

Chuuya.

You lift your head away from the toilet, opening your mouth wide to let as much air as possible in. Your head leans back, tears dripping down your face. You feel Chuuya pull your head gently to his chest, fingers threading through your hair. The feeling of nausea doesn’t feel so empowering now, so you let your body slump against Chuuyas. 

Time seems to slip by, your mind fading in and out of consciousness. One moment you open your eyes to being held in Chuuya’s arms, some servers surrounding the two of you. Another time you open your eyes to him walking outside with you. Another moment he’s tangling your body to piggy back his on his bike. Another moment passes and your pressed up against him by an invisible force which makes sense once you comprehend the red glow surrounding your body. You feel the wind whipping against your body, your head feeling cushioned by what you can only guess is a helmet. You close your eyes again for a bit longer.

When you open them again, you’re in a warm bed, a lamp dimly lighting up the room, not too harsh for your head. It’s warm, and the bed beneath you is soft, softer then your own. This isn’t your room. 

Chuuya comes into view, placing a damp wash cloth on your forehead. The cold cloth drowns you in relief, your head finally managing to connect with all five senses. Your mouth still tastes horrible, but it seems manageable for the moment. Your ears are ringing and sounds seem to be slightly muffled. The smell of warm chocolate brings to your a pang of hunger, your body desperately needing something to sustain it again. 

You groan, reaching up to Chuuya. “What happened?” Your voice is raw and only brings back the taste of what seems like minutes prior.

“You threw up is what happened. Scared the shit out of me, I nearly took you to the hospital.” He sits next to you, the bed dipping slightly with his weight. 

Carefully, he helps you sit up, situating you so you’re leaning against the headboard. “Why didn’t you?”

He grabs a small bowl of rice and some chopsticks on his bedside table, handing them to you. “You need to eat something, let your body recover what it lost.”

You take the bowl graciously, taking in small bites of rice before repeating your question. “Why didn’t you take me to the hospital?” 

Chuuya stares at you. “Well for one, I’m part of the mafia. Not exactly a place I’m allowed to be at without bringing the place down in fear. And you know the second reason.” 

Your heart skips a beat. “What do you mean?”

“How long have you had hanahaki disease?” He’s blunt, leaving you no room to sneak around it.

You sigh, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to escape him. “Just after I left the mafia.”

“Have you told anyone?” Chuuya asks.

“I’m telling you now.” You cringe slightly, watching his expression go from neutral to shock.

“You’ve been living with it for years and only now are you talking about it?!” He stands up. 

“Only because it’s starting to affect my daily life.” Your voice is but a whisper.

“Oh so you’d prefer no one knows about it? What would you have done if I didn’t find out? Would you disappear and never return?!”

“No I wouldn’t! I just…” You can feel tears start to well up in your eyes. “I just didn’t know how to talk about it. Because everyone would make a fuss over it and try to get the other person to like me. But I don’t want to force it on anyone.”

Chuuya sighs, pacing his room while running his hand down his face. 

“Are you mad at me?” You ask quietly, not daring to look towards him.

You hear him let out a soft groan before he approaches you, gently placing his hand atop your head. 

“I’m not mad at you. I’m frustrated that you didn’t at least tell me before you started coughing up your literal lung. But I’m not mad. Which is a surprise for even me.” He says.

You look up at him, tears welling up in your eyes. Chuuya stares at you with compassion, taking his seat by your side once again.

“So. Have you told him yet?” 

You let out a breath of laughter. “Who said I loved a man?”

Chuuya hums. “Well last I checked, Dazai wasn’t a woman. Unless he transitioned last time I saw him. And I’m telling you now, it’s impossible to transition within a week.”

You sigh. “How did you know it was Dazai?”

“You were quite an obvious crusher 7 years ago, and that part of you hasn’t changed. I’m surprised the smartass hasn’t caught onto it himself.” 

“Probably because he doesn’t love me and he doesn’t want to confront me about it.”

Chuuya scoffs. “Or he’s a pussy.”

You fiddle with your fingers as you speak. “Are you going to tell him?”

Chuuya barks out a laugh. “Fuck no. That job is for you to do. And I swear to god if you leave it to the last minute I will slap you with your own flower.”

“I won’t. I’ll tell him tomorrow… I guess.” You say, your nerves spiking at the thought of telling him. 

“Good. Now what do you say we order in and bitch about work?” 

The rest of the night is spent in Chuuya’s room, drinking wine and eating takeout until you both end up passing out on the bed.

~~~

This is it. This is the day! Today will be the day you confess your feelings to Dazai. You had a plan and everything. Neither him or you had assigned jobs for the week, it was quiet, most of the agency was off on their own tasks or in their personal office. It would be secluded enough that only the two of you would be in the main room. 

It was perfect. You had been gathering up the nerves to confront him for the better part of 24 hours. Now was the time.

You approach Dazai, a confident smile on your face.

“(Y/n)! I hope you’ve been well. How about you take a week off in tokyo?” He hands you a train ticket.

…

“What?”

Dazai smiles, closing his eyes. “You’ve been working really hard lately. You deserve a break. So I went ahead and organised a luxury trip for you! You get a five star hotel with breakfast in bed. And you get a daily massage for free!”

You honestly didn’t know how to react, a mix of emotions coursing through you. Confusion, shock, disappointment, shame, utter bewilderment. Where do you even begin?

“See! You’re so excited you don’t know what to say!” Dazai cheers as he slings an arm around your shoulder. “Now, you don’t need to worry about anything. I’ve already organised it with Fukuzawa, and I even took the liberty of packing your things for you! All you have to do is take this ticket here and get to that train station!!!” He shuffles you towards the door, manoeuvring you in a way that leaves you no escape from him. 

“I’ll see you in a few days!” And he shuts the door in front of you, leaving you, and Atsushi who just so happened to walk up the stairs at that moment, completely baffled.

Was he mad at you?

~~

He was in fact, not mad at you. He had one of his predictions brewing, and this came clear to you as you exited the hotel bathroom, the toilet flushing away the bloodied petals.

The TV flashed with the news, a reporter standing in front of a green screen which showcases pictures of every single ADA member, including yours, in a wanted poster design.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[villain-byteniwoha]

I lost the tweet earlier but someone said "I miss when bungo stray dogs was about its characters and not this death scare marathon" or something of the like, and I agree 100%. I stopped reading right around the famous Akutagawa "Just go" chapter with tears in my eyes and rocks in my chest. Now, the latest chapter doesn't even faze me anymore—because these stakes are too ridiculous for even the cast.

I miss when it was about these organizations of ability users with rivalry and a shared love for their city; hence why, when the big bad threats came to try to take over, they teamed up to take them down. I think that's why, ever since I picked it back up again, I've been more interested in the light novels.

Can't deny that I am very partial to skk and their obvious obvious queer romantic subtext but more than that, I miss when bungo stray dogs was about the characters, the "stray dogs," learning about themselves and each other.

I do think it peaked with Fyodor, who is the perfect Dazai antithesis. Fyodor could have scaled in a more organic way. Instead, readers have been stuck for what has literally been years without a glimpse of the main cast, all because the list suddenly exploded and we're getting all this exposition thrown in our face.

The S4 adaptation disappointed me greatly, the key points about war did... make sense narratively, but also felt too much like an Eren Yeager callout to be emotionally or even intellectually stimulating. My current biggest fear is that the manga will follow the blueprint that Bones set down, even if I haven't seen that happen yet.

I do think Asagiri got too lost in the sauce and, in return, lost the charm that made BSD special. Which isn't to say, boo-hoo bad author give me back my good-feels and let the characters stay stagnant in that bubble, no. But do I think he could've scaled the stakes in a more gradual/less in-your-face way? Yes. And do I think the manga would have suffered less if they did so? Also yes.

tldr: detective story with powers and mafia got too convoluted that it feels like it jumped into an entirely different genre. went from 0 to 100 too fast that the whiplash sometimes isn't worth it anymore. go read the light novels tho i love them sm

[lnkedmyheart]

What do you think are Dazai and Chuuya’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

Dazai's strength is his humanity. He might deny its existence but its what gives him an edge over the people he goes up against. He is able to connect to and understand people which allows him to make the most effective decisions.

His weakness I think is his lack of self worth. He tends to view himself as the necessary sacrifice, its something he developed after Oda's final words to him, which is a step up from being outright suicidal but oof. He is trying to give his existence some meaning and is doing so by trying to die for the innocent. Take it too far and you end up with Beast universe Dazai.

Chuuya's biggest strength is his individuality and mental fortitude. Chuuya isn't a yes man. Every decision he makes is based on his own personal moral code and nothing can change that. Its why nobody can actually influence him completely. You think he's gullible because he is being manipulated? Well jokes on you, he already knows you are manipulating him and he is using your belief that he is gullible and easy to manipulate for as long as it serves his own purpose.

His biggest weakness aside from his tendency to lose his shit when Dazai is brought up is that he gives too much of himself to his people. He is the overworked over stressed older sibling type that will try to remove the burden from the other person and blame himself for everything. Flags dying? Blames himself, the Sheep falling apart? Blames himself. He even looks past Verlaine's actions to some extent. Its something that can realistically backfire horribly.

As for what I love about their dynamic is that their banter is never cruel. While there is some underlying animosity there (which could just be them both being little shits and hyper competitive assholes with some lingering negativity) there is also a vibe of "I know you better than you know yourself" throughout all their interactions and genuine concern.

[ghostmaldo]

✎ (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧♡*.✧ Special day ✎ (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧♡*.✧

With Bungou men x GN!Reader

Rather your reading this on Valentine’s Day or any day you need a pick me up. Here is something for you. Just some general headcannons on what I think the Bungou characters would do do make a day special for their S/O

Characters might be a little OOC to make the HC fluffier.

No warnings, pure fluff. Established relationships with S/O

Ask box 💙: Open

No music this time… I was listening to muuuurdeeer this time around ^^’

⤜♡→Dazai ⤜♡→

~Most definitely annoying you right at the ass crack of dawn with warm/cold beverage and slightly burned of whatever S/O favorite food is. Though will deny any involvement of the holiday or if S/O insists his trying to make a day seem special. “I’m just trying to spoil my favorite person!” Yay okay Dazai, whateeeever you say. But hey, he tried at the very least. All morning his dropping the cheesiest and romantic poems out of the book. They probably make S/O laugh more then anything but its still a thoughtful gesture.

~The cheese factor doesn’t decrease at the ADA (much to Kunikida’s dismay). Expect to be peeked along the lips and cheeks a lot more then any other day of the week.

~I can honestly see him making crafts at his desk instead of doing paper work. Makes a little heart cut out for all of his co workers O3O. Still in denial >.>

~After work, it’s straight to S/O favorite restaurant for dinner. What? His being spontaneous! It’s been a long week, time to unwind S/O! He gueeeessses he’ll get the bill this time, but dont get use to it!

~Overall its a mostly nice and peaceful evening. Dazai and S/O are having a lovely chat about the day. They may catch a loving glance every once in awhile in Dazai’s eyes. It’s enough to make him smirk and make his S/O melt in his seat.

~Wrapping up the evening is a nice bubble bath and following is a movie night wrapped up in each other and their favorite blankets.

⤜♡→ Ranpo ⤜♡→

~Forget the ADA, him and S/O are going to all the sweets shops in town!

~Indulge with him a little in feeding each others different types of cakes and candy. Will swipe his thumb under S/O lips to remove any whip cream before putting it in his own mouth to taste.

~Que the blush

~While some how getting lost in the city. Ranpo finds a spot to get milkshakes and Boba

Does the ADA offer Dental insurance?

~ While S/O is distracted by yummy drinks, this is the time he’ll give them the most vibrant flowers they’ve ever seen. “Where were you keeping those?” “Ssshhhh, just take them!” He asked Poe to keep them fresh for him

~After dropping off the flowers in some water at home. Ranpo has one more place to drag you off to! With a few missed turns and detours of course ^^’.

~S/O might be a little surprised when he leads them to the beach, where a blanket is laid out in the sand (Though its a little blown away, nothing a quick tug at the corners won’t fix.) Regardless, as long as his S/O his happy, it was well worth it in the end. They sit listening to the crashing waves, huddle close to each other. Laughing and snacking on candy as if nothing else matter in the world.

~Sneaks a loving kiss mid sentence to seal the deal.

~”Now what were you saying darling?”

⤜♡→ Kunikida ⤜♡→

~Shows up on S/O doorstep with either their favorite flowers and or chocolate, accompanied by a small but flattering piece of jewelry. He can’t help the blush on his cheeks when his S/O hugs him in appreciation. Also expect a long sweet kiss before arriving at the ADA for the day. Once he walks through those doors its strictly buisness. But thats okay. S/O understands.

~Thhhouuugh if you show off his little gift to the other ADA members he will become flustered, while also swelling with some pride on the inside.

Dazai: Wow Kunikida, so you do have some taste~

Kunikida: WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

~After the work day is finished. Kunikida hands S/O a bag with a simple but elegant outfit for them to change into. Surprise! He has dinner reservations at S/O favorite restaurant. His also wearing something pleasing to look at ^^

~Pleasent evening with shared conversations, loving glances, and a relaxed Kunikida. A sight to see, but one that is enjoyed.

~ Okay but like… imagine sharing a little slow dance right outside his shared appartment with S/O before finally retiring for the night. I’d pass away from melting

⤜♡→ Fukuzawa ⤜♡→

~Seeing his relaxed sleepy face first thing in the morning is a gift itself. As soon as he senses S/O rustling around, his wrapping his arms around S/O and pulling them close. Peppering kisses along their jaw and whispering sweet affections in their ear.

~Today’s a day he decided to arrive late into the ADA. He takes his time having breakfast with S/O and presents them with a small gift, something S/O has had there eye on for some time.

~Orders their favorite food for lunch and they share it together in his office with the door closed off to the other ADA members.

~Brushes the hair away from their neck to place a tender kiss between their shoulders. Enough to make their S/O shiver and it brings a smile to his face before having to return to his work.

~After working hours, Fukuzawa wants to have an evening in. Preparing a home cooked meal along side his S/O and putting on their favorite show/movie.

~Carries S/O to bed if they fall asleep on him during the moving. Lovingly tucks them in and joins them. Once again whispering how grateful he is to have someone so wonderful.

⤜♡→Chuuya ⤜♡→

~Hear me out, yes the man has money to spoil his S/O with. Buuuut what about going to a drive in movie theater with him? Double feature, popcorn, drinks, and whatever snacks their lover wants.

~During the movie trailers he surprised you with an extravagant piece of jewelry of S/O taste. Def helps S/O clasps it in its proper place.

~Followed by lots of loving kiss and sweet affection *Swoons*

~Probably rents out a car for this occasion so he can have some privacy with cuddle his S/O in the back. If S/O gets cold he offers them his jacket that is covered in his natural scent and cologne *Double swoon*

~After the movie ends at nearly 1am, I can see him offering to take S/O out to eat at whatever place may be open so late. Imagine getting the food to go but eating it in the parking lot of said restaurant. Casually conversing about the movie.

~By the time him and S/O are dragging their feet through the door, it is most defiantly time for bed. Maybe a quick shower and a change into comfortable pjs. Cuddling close to each other basking in each others shampoo scent until Chuuya once again finds you in his dreams.

⤜♡→Akutagawa ⤜♡→

~This one will be the toughest out of everyone. He isn’t exactly well versed in making something special for anyone. But Prehaps with some help from Gin, he does attempt. Key word. Attempt.

~For Aktugawa, I think it would be really sweet if his S/O were to help guide him in his endeavors. Struggling to make breakfast? Let’s do it together! No clue on jewelry? Open the conversation. He’ll be attentive to S/O answers. His not really a people person? The park is a nice open space, or Prehaps a night in with movies, or something of a similar manner.

~Fooorehead kisses, please don’t bring it up. He really is trying his best. If S/O kisses his back, he is a meeesssss.

~Couch nap? Couch nap. S/O laying their head on his chest while he gently runs his fingers through their hair while they drift off for a afternoon nap. Yes.

[hantii]

Here's my gift for @athina39 for the @bungoustraydogsgiftexchange!

They requested something to do with a Japanese festival, so I went with new year!

The story behind the art:

The chimes of the bell from the neighbouring temple were starting to get on Chuuya's nerves. He'd never really understood the need to welcome the new year with bell ringing. Well, truth be told, he'd never really considered it until now, but being locked in an old office room with Dazai Osamu was enough to make him irate at pretty much anything.

Said annoyance was bent at the waist, observing the lock with feigned interest. "It's locked."

"I know damn well it's locked," Chuuya spat. "Can you unlock it?"

"Hmm, maybe. Those kids did a good job of locking it - see, it's actually a double lock. Twice the effort to pick. I'm not sure if its worth the effort. Don't you think this room gives a good vantage of the temple? I think I can stand being locked in here, even if the company could be improved."

Chuuya grit his teeth, refusing to bite at the jab.

'Those kids' referred to Dazai's ward - Atsushi - and Akutagawa who, in an unexpected alliance and a wrenching betrayal, had tricked the two into this room and locked them in there. For what reason they'd do such a thing Chuuya couldn't be sure, though he was keen to escape if only to wring their scrawny necks.

The dull thud of Dazai making his behind home on one of the tables only deepened the scowl on Chuuya's brow. He glared over at his old partner, who was doing a good job of avoiding his gaze. To be fair, the view out of the window was wonderful. Colourful lanterns decorated the streets, each doorway adorned with pine and ornaments and the temple was glowing with New Year's activity. A glance at his phone told Chuuya that it was only a minute or so to midnight.

"Come, sit, relax. There's no point busting a vein on New Years when you could be enjoying the show."

Chuuya really wanted to argue, but even he was above spitting and screaming on a festival night; he wanted to at least try for good luck in the coming year. Letting himself slump against the window, he sighed in resolution. "Guess it could be worse."

"Yeah, I guess it could."

It would be midnight any second now, and the chimes of the bell would stop to welcome in the New Year. As the clock reached midnight, the last bell reverberated in the air, the silence barely existent as fireworks began to bloom in the sky like spilled ink, thudding distantly across the river. Chuuya was suddenly glad that they'd left the lights off. Each explosion flooded the room with a new colour, and even he, being as cynical as he was, had his breath stolen away.

"Hey," Dazai said, softly and seriously for once, "just for now, shall we say a clean slate? Bygones be bygones and such?"

Rolling his eyes Chuuya let himself smile. "You're such a sap under it all, huh."

"You can't deny me on New Years," Dazai countered with mock offence.

"Sure, sure," Chuuya huffed. Usually he enjoyed their semi-friendly rivalry. It certainly wasn't as explosive and unstable as the teenage boys who locked them in here (god, he hoped they were out there trying to kill each other. It'd serve them right). But it was nice to relax into something more intimate. And it was intimate - watching the fireworks with Dazai as if they were high school sweethearts, and glancing over at each other's illuminated side profiles with poorly concealed softness. Chuuya almost felt as if he was in a low budget romance movie.

Might as well...

"Hey," Dazai was suddenly a lot closer to him, his hands enveloping Chuuya's. Chuuya didn't pull back. He couldn't, not when Dazai was suddenly so sincere. "Happy New Year."

"Happy new year, partner."

[this-is-my-procrastination]

hi honey! (●’◡’●)ﾉ could i request a oneshot with Dazai, and reader is just always sleepy? like if she sits still for longer than thirty minutes, she’ll be passed out? thank you!

pairing: dazai osamu x sleepy!reader

synopsis: sleepy y/n has trouble staying awake

request: hi honey! (●’◡’●)ﾉ could i request a oneshot with Dazai, and reader is just always sleepy? like if she sits still for longer than thirty minutes, she’ll be passed out? thank you!

a/n: omg im so sorry this literally took me 10 million years to finish!! i think i’ve rewritten this like more than four times at this point lmao but hopefully it turned out ok and you like it! as always, thank you so much for requesting ily <33

A pair of lips delicately brush your cheek. Your eyes flutter open, groggily blinking the sleep from your eyes as you slowly register the owner of the offending lips. To no one’s surprise, it’s Dazai’s smug face that beams back at you, grin softening as he teases, “Look who fell asleep again~ If you weren’t so cute, I might be offended y’know?” His playful pout causes you to giggle, your boyfriend already helping to make waking up so much less vexing than usual.

Retaliating to his teasing remarks, you attempt to ruffle his messy tuft of black hair but find that his head is sadly more than an arm’s length away, much to your dismay. Looking back down at your disheveled bedhead fondly, Dazai pulls you into his arms as you release a few indignant retorts. The movie you two were watching had been in its closing scenes, but when he looked towards you to ask your thoughts (and ask why you’d been so quiet after literally the first thirty minutes), he was met with your very cute, very endearing, very much asleep expression, eyes shut and mouth slightly ajar. Your head was adorably leaned against the crook of his neck, and he would prefer not to admit it, but he had spent more time than he realized just admiring your dozing features silently, appreciating and marveling at this human who made him feel so loved. Past Dazai would have scoffed at a serious romantic relationship that didn’t end in double suicide, but right now, the thought of not being able to spend peaceful moments like this with you was the most excruciating punishment he could possibly imagine. How could he imagine someone else when even just your sleeping face was so incredibly adorable to him?

Your freshly-awake ramblings brought him back to the present. Dazai lets his fingers drift and find its place loosely running down a stray strand of your hair, twirling it cheerfully as he listens to you continuing on.

You suddenly stop your rant, staring at him with an amused expression on your face before you gently prod his side, “What’re you so deep in thought about?” You pondered the possibilities, “Could you be thinking about what to eat? I’m pretty hungry too after that nice nap!”

“No, no,” Dazai dramatically denies your question, waving his hand dismissively, “Well - I’ll never say no to a snack, but I was actually mesmerized! You just look so cute when you’re sleepy~”

You playfully roll your eyes, nudging him with a teasing “uh-huh.”

“Is that why I can get away with falling asleep around you?” your smile is warm as you meet his eyes, and Dazai’s heart quickens just slightly, “I told you that you can wake me up since I sometimes fall asleep before I realize. I appreciate you always taking care of me though, Dazai. You’re a very good boyfriend for that~”

Your praise is music to Dazai’s ears as his lips quirk into a smirk, “Oh-ho, am I finally getting the appreciation I’ve been deserving? I’m glad you finally noticed!” Your boyfriend’s hand pats your head affectionately, and you laugh aloud as he plasters a quick sloppy kiss to your forehead.

You’re about to playfully call him out for his touchiness but your boyfriend’s chest immediately puffs out theatrically, “But don’t you worry! I’m self-sworn to protect my sleeping beauty for as long as I live - actually, even from the grave!”

Dazai’s sudden knightly attitude cracks you up as you swiftly duck out from under his hand. You grin widely at his antics before matching his energy with a statement fitting for a true princess: “oh, ya - uh! ok thanks buddy! so then, Sir Dazai, lead the way to the kitchen and let’s make a mid-movie - oh, never mind the movie’s over - a post-movie snack!”

Dazai’s cheers ring through your apartment as he eagerly yet still surprisingly delicately, always being careful to keep you unscathed and present by his side, grabs your hand and escorts you into the kitchen.

The plan was to make brownies. So, why is Dazai furiously beating a bowl of grainy “whipped cream” that he’d made using a combo of water and specifically granulated, not confectionary, sugar? Why is more brownie batter on cabinet doors than in the baking pan? Why is the salt tipped onto its side, spilling its entire contents into some kind of abstract shape on the countertop?

One reason: food fight. Maybe your abundant sleeping habits had finally caught up to you, but you had never felt as invigorated and actively mischievous as you had when you’d swiped some brownie batter onto your boyfriend’s face. It was worth it! You think. You thought. Dazai’s brown hues absolutely shined with mirth at your pathetic attempt of provoking him. You were prepared for him to laugh it off and call you adorable, maybe naive for playing with fire, but ultimately he would chuckle and move on. Except, that did not happen. Instead, he had immediately retaliated with an even bigger glop thrown into your hair, partly accidentally and partly to be a li’l gremlin, and oh boy, it just escalated from there.

The whipped cream Dazai had whipped up for “quick ammunition” was quickly used up - Dazai scooped it, and the heap had seemed to grow impossibly bigger with every additional spoonful. Currently, his smile was widening and creepily stretching ear-to-ear as his starry eyes zeroed in on your vulnerable form.

The ruthless battle continued for a while, but after finally agreeing to a truce, you both couldn’t help but stare at the resulting mess with equally blank stares.

“Mm... okgoodnightbabe! I’ll see you in the morning!” You almost trip over yourself as you flee, throwing a cursory glance at your incredulous boyfriend before giggling and rushing to close the bedroom door before he can follow. Dazai’s whining carries through the solid wood, but you playfully call back, “I’ll give you anything you want - just pleasee do the cleaning! And if it’s too much, come to bed and we can deal with it in the morning together, ok?”

You could clearly picture Dazai’s pout in your mind as the sound of his footsteps fades towards the kitchen. Smiling fondly, you quickly change into your pajamas and hop into your shared bed to wait for his return. However, listening to the distant clanging of bowls and whooshing of the tap water proved to be an effective lullaby, and you couldn’t help it as your eyes began to flutter and eventually stay closed.

By the time Dazai finishes cleaning, the dark night sky was starting to brighten and mix with the warm oranges and reds of sunrise. He quietly opens your bedroom door and is met, not really to his surprise, by your sleeping lump of a body. Dazai’s brows furrow slightly, but he quickly notices the open book laying by your form and realizes that you had been up waiting for him. He could also tell you by the blankets messily strewn around you - usually you preferred having them wrapped around you like a tight burrito.

At that, Dazai lightly chuckles, his heart warming at the thought. He takes his time putting on a fresh set of clothes and rolls his eyes as he ever-so-gently tucks the blankets over you. The bed shifts as he climbs in carefully, but Dazai quickly freezes as you start to mumble quietly. Your words are inaudible, even as Dazai strains his ears to hear any (possible) secrets that you could be spouting. Shifting restlessly, you roll around and suddenly shoot out your arm, making an interesting grabby motion. Dazai almost lets out a laugh as he wonders what in the world you could be looking for, but his eyes widen when you make contact with your boyfriend and immediately calm down, hand gripping his shirt loosely.

As your body relaxes, Dazai feels a wide smile creep up his face, adoring and almost grossly soft. And he lets it. He just can’t help himself - he leans in and places an affectionate kiss on your forehead, lingering there before pulling back and squeezing next to you under the covers. He shifts your arm into a more comfortable position, and as you unconsciously flip to face him, Dazai’s eyes soften into a sweet but intensely warm chocolate brown. If you had been awake to open your eyes, you would have witnessed a rare but genuine sight: your boyfriend’s peaceful expression illuminated by the quiet sunlight of dawn, his eyes deeply staring into yours with endless messages of comforting assurance and happiness, and his lips subtly quirking into a tenderly loving smile shared only for the two of you.

[nikadoesanart]

My predictions on BSD getting animated going forward

I’ll be taking a look at the novel page counts (Japanese and English) and comparing them to the screen time they’ve gotten so far and then using this to predict how long the remaining light novel adaptations will be (approximately). At the end will also be my rough prediction/hopes for the order of some of these being adapted. I say some because I have yet to read what there is so far of the gaiden novel translations, the main story manga has essentially still been on the DOA arc almost since where the anime left off, and I personally think that it’s currently too soon for Storm Bringer (aside from money purposes).

Note, most of this was written well before the anime 5th anniversary livestream but the announcements wound up not affecting it. I then of course made adjustments as needed account for the novel content we do have so far, both in Japanese and in English (officially).

Page to Episode Count

Not counting the afterward, ads, etc for the English/US copy, Japanese is including it

Also all eng page counts are using the Yen Press release and jp page counts are taken from the fandom wiki

*148 is purely counting the Untold Origins portion of the novel. If we also count the A Day at the Agency short story that’s included before it (56 pages), then we get the full 203

Also the English page count for BEAST was noted before the English release date but after page counts have been posted by affiliated retailers, so subtract a couple pages from the written count of 176 for the time being to account for the afterward and possible character sheets being included

Now that we have our page to episode counts (as of April 5th, 2021), let’s find the actual content run time of what we do have animated so far.

Seasons 1-3 and the OVA all have the same episode length/duration. Each episode is 23 minutes, and we can subtract 3 minutes on average from that to account for the OP and ED being played. This leaves us with an average of 20 minutes of BSD story content per episode. So on average, each of the first 3 seasons contain 240 minutes, or 4 hours, worth of story content.

Dead Apple’s total run time is 91 minutes, with the OP and ED making up 9 of those minutes. However, we do have a bit of the story content being played while the ED is playing (as sometimes happens in the anime as well). To keep the math simple, I’ll be approximating story content time at 82 minutes.

Apply these numbers to the novels that have been animated so far and this is (approximately) what we get:

Now let’s use these numbers to predict the screen time needed for the other novels

Note that we can’t really use Entrance Exam as a fair measure because of how much got cut out (just compare the run time of it to Dark Era and it speaks for itself). However, the numbers for Dark Era and Dead Apple are the best ones to use, as they both have minimal changes between anime and novel and both have official English translations currently available. Take out the approximate time taken up by OP/ED and and the numbers pretty much match up.

So with that being said, we can estimate Untold Origins (only) at approximately 3 eps/60 min and 55 Minutes at 1h 40-55min/100-115 min or 5-6 eps if it doesn’t get a movie. We can also estimate the A Day at the Detective Agency short story at the beginning of Untold Origins to take up about 1 ep, probably even a bit less.

1+ 3 + 5-6 = 9-10 episodes which isn’t enough for a full single cour season unless they all get put into one big OVA season, but also 10-11 eps (or less) seasons are a thing (ie. Fugou Keiji: Balance Unlimited, Blood Lad, Black Butler: Book of Circus, The Seven Deadly Sins: Signs of a Holy War, FLCL)

My personal predictions/hopes for the anime adaptation timeline going forward

This is considering the manga content, current “pausing/stopping points” what wouldn’t be too awkward, each of the novels relevancy/necessity to the main story manga, and assuming we continue with single cour (12-13 ep) seasons

Hopefully/ideally a 55 Minutes movie

S4: ch 54-70

Early S5 (preferably) or end of S4: Untold Origins or A Day at the Agency

S5: ch 71-88/around where we are now?

A Day at the Agency can, in my opinion at least, be chucked in at any point either as a single episode OVA or as the light novel content for s4 (maybe not even taking a full episode and then starting ch 54 in the last few minutes for example). Keep in mind that the current DOA arc is a long one and has plenty to it, so personally I think it may even be better to not include a novel adaptation in a future S4, as it would likely already be a right squeeze content wise. Remember, we also have a few XX.5 chapters that are continuations of the chapter directly before them.

I still need to read what’s currently available of the gaiden novel fan translations but it can probably be adapted at any point as well. I’m estimating approximately 5-6 eps as an OVA series. I don’t really think it would get a movie, partially because you can make it only so long, especially since it’s an anime movie and unlike Storm Bringer, it doesn’t have Chuuya to practically guarantee the profit.

BEAST also doesn’t directly impact the main story and can be adapted at virtually any point. However, seeing as we do have a live action confirmed for it and it’s page count lines up very closely with Dark Era, it can be either 4 eps or (more likely in my opinion) a movie, as it can be considered almost stand alone content.

Personally, I believe it is currently way too soon to animate Storm Bringer as it came out only a little over a month ago (as of writing this) and has minimal plot necessity as of ch 91, but I do believe it should be either split into 2 movies (a part 1 and part 2) or it would need 8 episodes, likely as an OVA season. If it were to get animated sooner than 55 Minutes or Untold Origins, which I believe to be very unlikely, I feel that it would almost certainly be driven by the financial gains of Chuuya being included, and his popularity alone. Reminder, SB is about Chuuya and not SKK. Dazai’s appearance in SB is proportionally a very small percentage and he’s not even mentioned in the official plot summary.

However, you can argue that SB is starting to have some relevance now, with the recent mention of the Order of the Clock Tower in ch 90 and the increased relevance of sealed ability weapons in ch 91. However, I really do believe that you can’t adapt Storm Bringer before 55 Minutes because of Standard Island and its treaty, it also talks about sealed ability weapons, knowing who Wells is, and 55 Minutes canonically takes place during the “downtime” portion of S3. In fact, here’s Asagiri’s words directly from the Afterward (translation by Yen Press):

“this volume didn’t take place in the past, but rather sometime after the tenth volume of the manga. In other words, it’s a tale about the ‘usual’ detective agency in novel format.” (55 minutes, p 237)

Untold Origins also should be adapted sooner rather than later (at least compared to SB in my opinion) because it’s about Ranpo and Fukuzawa’s shared past, which becomes increasingly relevant ch 70 onwards, as well as the need for the ADA being founded (which ties in with Yosano’s backstory in ch 65-66).

In regards to whether I think each of these would be better suited to a movie adaptation or as multiple regular length anime episodes, it’s mainly due to page count and partly due to the budget difference between the two, as well as how difficult I think it would be to animate each of these based on what needs to be drawn. The anime industry isn’t the fastest to switch to newer technology, hence why we see issues with 3D blending sometimes. I really do think that at the very least, 55 Minutes deserves the movie budget because of how detailed and complex the architecture of Standard Island is described as, as well all the mechanical parts needed for the final battle of the novel. Hate the lizard mouths introduced in Dead Apple all you want, but you can’t deny that the 3D cgi was blended very smoothly. For any of the other novels to be movies, it’s more so because gaiden and BEAST can be considered their own stand alone stories that don’t rely too heavily on the main story in terms of when they take place and get adapted. I feel that SB is more likely to get its own season or an OVA season more so due to its length, but multiple part anime movies have also been done before (ie. the Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel movies), so it’s not entirely impossible. Especially considering that merely having any Chuuya screen time means that you can expect the profit and popularity to really go up, especially with SKK being on screen together (regardless of whether you love or hate how the fandom tends to push a shipping POV on them).

These are all of course just my hopes and predictions and estimates based on information currently available, so take them with some salt. I’d love to hear opinions on how, when, and why each of the currently non animated novels should be adapted going forward. Also please stop begging the relevant BSD official Twitter pages for SB to be animated next and go read the other light novels you Chuuya simp

[discotenny]

!Bungo Stray Brothers!

Ranpo and Poe with a little sister

!requested by @maibeff!

This is long overdue sorry djfjdk. I accidentally posted this last night oopsie >.> trying something new w the banners

Okay so I know that everyone says Ranpo would be a really lazy brother, and he still is don’t get me wrong, butttt Ranpo would be a top-notch sibling

During the time of your parents’ deaths, you were barely a teenager. At the prior advice of your late parents, he dragged you to Yokohama, where the two of you now reside. Through the years, Ranpo filled the void left by your parents, guiding and teaching you as they once did. Well, trying his best to do so anyways

Despite his attitude aimed at many, Ranpo is quite caring towards you. He’s constantly checking up on your wellbeing, whether through texts or casual conversation. Sometimes, he’ll even do that thing where a person messes up someone's hair with their hand in passing

While not as athletic as his coworkers, Ranpo can still put up some of a fight. Thus, he will absolutely try to fight anyone that attempts to mess with his dear sister

He thinks the world of you, and you’re one of the few people he’ll give some of his oh so coveted praise to

Your relationship with Fukuzawa is very friendly. While he’s a father figure to Ranpo, he’s more of a grandfather character to you since you don’t see him as much

Ranpo insists you visit the ADA offices often, and so you also have friendly relations with the rest of the members. Though Ranpo warns you not to get deeply involved with Dazai for some reason 🤔

With any romantic partner you have, he wants to have a one on one talk with them to discern if they’re a good enough person for you. Though an issue he has is that he judges everyone to his standards, and his standards are high

Household chores are a big no-no when it comes to Ranpo, and often you’ll be forced to literally lay the vacuum on him if you want him to do shit

Your fridge is always empty due to both you and Ranpo’s negligence when it comes to grocery shopping. It becomes a daily occurrence for you two to text each other back and forth begging for the other to purchase some groceries on their way home

Y/n: Ranpoooo can you pls pick up some eggs after work? We also need [insert shopping list of items]

Five minutes later...

Ranpo: Hey y/n can you pick up [insert a screenshot of the shopping list from your message] on your way home

When the time comes for you to move out, Ranpo tries his best not to cry as he hugs you before you go. Being the only family he has left in the world, your departure affects him a lot. Afterward, Ranpo ends up learning how to manage the trains by himself just so he can visit you all by himself ~

A sibling who’s a student [around a high schooler, so let’s say 18]

He’s always making comments on your homework being ‘too easy,’ and will sometimes do some problems on your worksheets out of pure boredom

Ranpo would absolutely help you cheat with assignments

For a small fee of course... that fee coming in the form of snacks

As Ranpo serves as your legal guardian, he’s the one that has to sign all your school papers. Most of the time he leaves you stressed, messed, and upset as he always lets forms go unsigned until the very last minute

Despite being a student, you still end up cooking for the two of you most of the time

If you go to the convenience store after your school day, Ranpo always texts you. One, to check up on you. And two, to make sure you buy him a bag candy

When you don’t walk straight home from school, chances are you head your way towards the detective agency. When you do so, Ranpo is calling you over to his desk and tells you do work on your homework beside him. Even if you don’t have homework Ranpo will still tell you to sit at his desk just so he can keep some eye on you

When the ADA closes up for the day, you two end up eating out at a cafe somewhere. No exceptions, this happens every time

If it weren’t for his height, most would assume that Poe was the younger of you two

If anyone were to attempt to hurt this babby, you’d likely be the one sticking up for him. He felt awful and weak during any kind of occurrence like this, and often would hideaway for a bit after

While he’s not particularly strong, Poe is an amazing listener and will hear you out with any struggles you have at the moment. He would even tell Karl to curl up in your lap, a small sign of his trust towards you

In turn, when he becomes upset over his loss to Ranpo, you’re there right by his side after to cheer him up. Even when he shuts off all personal connections after his crushing defeat, you still check up on him to make sure he hasn’t withered away  

You’re his biggest supporter and vise versa

Poe is r i c h. If your family didn’t come from wealth before, you bet your ass that he shares his coin with you. Though, you feel a bit bad for accepting the large amounts of money he sends you. But, your brother persists that its just pay back for all of your support

When Poe got Karl at the age of 10 [let’s just say he got him at 10 because raccoons live up to an average of 20 years domesticated], he would do everything in his power to make sure the two of you got along. Eventually, you warmed up to his new pet and Poe couldn’t be happier

Growing up, you were always by his side. Seeing as he’s quite sensitive and timid, you would cling to him in order to watch out for any possible detriments to your brother’s happiness. Sticking to his side most of your childhood, you grew a fondness for all the stories he would write

When he first discovered his ability, you and Poe would spend hours exploring the world of different books. While he may have not been into the kind of books you would read as a youngling, everything was worth it if he got to see you smile

You two would also have sleepovers in his room. Dragging a blanket and pillow to his door, you’d ask if you would be allowed to sleep in his bedroom for the night. Despite it surprising him each time, Poe would never deny your request 

With blankets, Karl, and pillows strewn around the room, Poe would excuse himself to the kitchen to make the two of your some tea. You’d almost always fall asleep next to your brother as he drafted new stories

When Poe gets involved with The Guild, the first thing you worry about his his safety. Then he gets upset at the fact that he’s worried you and ends up calling you, frantically apologizing and hoping you won’t dislike him. The last thing he wants in life is your disapproval ;-;

While you hold no issue with The Guild’s ‘activities’ [more so you don’t know about their crimes], you make your brother promise you that he’d be careful

On his leave to Japan and subsequent announcement that he’d stay there indefinitely, you’re already making plans to visit him one day

His sister comes to Japan

Your visit is a surprise, even if you have been messaging him about it for weeks

Y/n: Edgar! I’m leaving for Japan tomorrow morning so I’m going to have to sleep early tonight. 

Poe spits out his tea

Edgar: Yourecomingtojapanwhat? 

Of course, he picks you up, what kind of brother would he be if he didn’t?

Seeing you at the airport, Poe can’t contain his smile. While you two don’t hug, Poe is ecstatic to see you and can’t wait to show you around. Karl is in the car and he immediately jumps onto you when you come in

When he introduces you to Ranpo, you can’t help but hold a little grudge. Cmon, this was the man that caused your dear brother to become a recluse for years! Though Poe sees your hesitation and encourages you that all blood is fine between the two. After seeing how happy your brother becomes at Ranpo’s company, you admit that he isn’t awful

Your time in Japan is spent talking with Poe and Ranpo most of the time. While it’s mostly chilling in the detective agency, your brother’s friend ends up dragging the two of you around to different cafe’s 

Once, Ranpo asked if you knew of the chaos that The Guild caused in Japan. It’s the one time he’s ever seen and heard Poe so panicked as he screamed ‘I wasn’t involved’

Wouldn’t it be funny if you and Ranpo fell into a relationship

Hrjdksks apologies these are too long ;-; I liked writing these so there may be a bit of incoherence throughout... Also I haven’t posted in a week oops. Thank you for your kind words Mai ! All the love in the world for you 💕

I hope you enjoyed anyways, and apologies for any future disappointment

[pathofcomet]

just paint the time

fandom: ikemen vampire

pairing: isaac/MC (explicit!)

summary: Eventually, one by one, everyone retreated to their own rooms for the night, late enough. Or rather, very early into the next day already. And rather, almost everyone. The fire is slowly dying in the fireplace, when she grabs the corner of the blanket draped around his shoulder and shimmies herself inside the warmth of his embrace.Written for Isaac Week, day 7. Prompt: Presents. (AO3)

note: And that’s a wrap on Isaac Week!! Thank you to everyone who wrote during this event, who read and shared and commented and bookmarked for later! Hope you’ve enjoyed this past week as much as I did writing! And wishing a Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating. Happy Birthday, Isaac <3

Isaac feels – light. There’s no more proper word to describe it, though he also feels like his brain is not entirely in control, to search for a more fitting one. He’s gotten lulled into drinking too much mulled wine – the cinnamon aftertaste strong on his tongue, the sweetness of it way too enticing. It didn’t help that he’s been smiling for what feels – what is – hours, and as such, so much more eager to do things unlike himself.

They’ve had a lively evening, swapping presents between each other, names pulled at random out of Theodorus’ hat, a tradition that she insisted on. His face has soured at the sight of his paper slip, Arthur’s own handwriting staring up at him, because he has hoped for hers. That doesn’t mean he didn’t get her anything – far from it, but now he won’t have an excuse to hide behind, when it becomes clear that he’s went a bit too much over the top with his choices.

They feasted on – mostly their favourite food; when everyone is from all over the place, it’s hard to have something considered ‘traditional’, most food ordered in so that Sebastian can join them at the dinner as well, a rare sight. He fit immediately by Napoleon’s side. They passed around stories, Arthur’s voice getting louder as the night progressed, Theo’s head on Vincent’s shoulder halfway through. Even Jean and Mozart’s faces had the scowl not so obvious.

Mozart even played for them. What he’s expected to be a Christmas carol, quickly turned into the familiar tune of happy birthday, and Isaac has frozen on the spot, Napoleon’s voice in his ear, as he looped an arm around his shoulder, a bit too loud. He has laughed and thanked them (surely, what is one even supposed to do when this happens?) and she has winked at him, as friendly pats were slapped all over his back.

It was worth bearing all that, because by the end, she came around, kissing each of his cheeks and hugging him close – intimate enough on its own, way less than what Isaac was hoping for. But they are in mixed company, and he doubts Dazai would let it ever die that he enjoys her kisses maybe a bit too much. So when she back away, he lets her, just a squeeze around her waist in parting. She stops for a second, to open her mouth and let the tip of her tongue out, pressing her thumb against it. Then the hand comes up to his cheeks, wiping away the leftover red marks left by her lipstick, and Isaac can feel it wet against his skin.

Have it had come from anyone else, he would have hated it. Like this, he just holds her gaze, burning with something alike the feeling blooming in his body, until she looks away.

By then, he was already two or three mugs in. Now it’s later – much later (he’s not that sure?) and Isaac can barely keep his eyes open anymore, tired and relaxed to the surprisingly, insanely high levels that he is. Sometimes in-between, they retreated to the library, so that Leonardo can smoke freely. He has played a couple of cards games with Arthur on the couch, and that scoundrel even let him win, earnestly, today.

Eventually, one by one, everyone retreated to their own rooms for the night, late enough. Or rather, very early into the next day already. And rather, almost everyone. The fire is slowly dying in the fireplace, when she grabs the corner of the blanket draped around his shoulder and shimmies herself inside the warmth of his embrace.

He immediately awakens, as she positions herself on top of him, knees on either side of his waist, blanket now pooled on the couch, and Isaac is not cold at all. She smiles at him.

“Hi, birthday boy.”

He grins before he realizes he’s doing it.

“Hi.”

She grabs his hands, slowly but intently lacing her fingers together with his. She’s also just a bit flushed – the redness growing when she leans closer, pressing her chest against his, so that she can press her lips against his in a chaste gesture.

Isaac sighs when she moves away, tugging at her hands enough to unbalance her, so she falls against him with the softest oh. His heart is thrumming in his chest, when her breath comes hot against the skin at his neck, her head tucked under his.

“Isaac?” she says, the gentlest of whispers.

“Hm?”

“I love you,” she murmurs, and she brings their hands to her lips, so that she can kiss his knuckles.

Isaac stutters, mouth open but his entire vocabulary forgotten. It comes to him, belatedly, that he loves her too, and he should remind her of it, but by now too much time has passed, and it’s too awkward to just blurt it out after so long –

She squirms a bit, finding a new position so that she can look at him, but resolutely refusing to let go of his hands. Isaac closes his eyes for a second, when she grinds against him.

“Isaac?” she says, bolder this time around.

“Hm?” Isaac opens his eyes, knowing he’ll regret it but unable to resist her.

“Thank you for being born into this world,” she presses a light kiss at his neck, and Isaac sighs, having been right.

“Thank you for letting me find you,” a kiss at his jaw, and Isaac, pathetically, moves his head to chase her lips, which she denies with a tender smile.

“Thank you for letting me love you,” another one, this time at his temple.

He feels his face like it’s been lit from the inside, and he can’t even blame the alcohol anymore, having been long ago struck aware and awake by just having her in his arms. She shifts again, enough to pin their hands to the back of the couch, enough that there’s another merciless grind against his now hardening cock.

“You’re the best thing in my life,” this time, her voice turns tender, and she finally meets his mouth.

Isaac groans, opening his mouth immediately, hungry for her, having gone without her taste on his tongue for too long, in too many ways. His tongue goes for her, and he’s not sure he can remember anymore that they’ve already gotten a warning about fucking on the couch or that he still hasn’t brought down her present.

When they part for air, it’s his time to rest his head on her chest. Only now does she let go – his hands immediately wrap around her body, hers go to play with his hair.

“I-” he struggles with his words, like he’s always done.

She tugs, just the tiniest bit harder at his hair and she simply hums, waiting; for as long as he needs it, he imagines. Which makes it easier.

“I’m happy… with you.”

She pushes a bit of his hair behind his ear.

“Me too.”

Isaac struggles with exactly what he wants to say, fearing it’s too much, too forward – even after all the time they’ve been together, even after the countless times she’s shown him that everything is okay. Maybe he’s been too spoiled, maybe he’s still (definitely) tipsy, maybe he can say it because it’s his birthday.

“I mean… Y-you make everything better.”

She snorts, mean thing that she is. But she does it with so much incredulous love, erupting into proper laughter a second later. Isaac’s pouting for quite a while by the time she calms; his own body has been jolting together with hers, since they’re so entangled.

 “This is not about me, you stupidly loving man,” she says, kissing the top of his head, grinding against him again with the movement.

Insults shouldn’t feel this good, right? He shouldn’t take insults like such wonderful compliments, surely? But something inside him breaks, almost instantly, at how offended she sounds that he’d dare compliment her back, after she put so much effort in turning him into a blabbering, melting mess. Doesn’t she know he’s already all of that. when it comes to her?

  He looks at her – and if he misses the feel of her chest, he stores that information for later, when they can be lazy, where they can take their time. Right now, he doesn’t feel like he can wait.

“Can I – ask for something?”

“Anything,” she breathes, and she’s kissing him before he can actually say what it is that he wants, just because she wants to, just because she can. Isaac’s hands move lower, fingers digging in the soft flesh of her ass, and she groans through their kiss, breaking it soon after so she can slow down her breathing.

“I want you,” Isaac whispers, and his fingers are already moving under her skirt, teasing at her thighs.

 “Have me, then. In any way, I’m yours.”

Isaac’s head immediately goes dizzy and blank at the admission, and his fingers tighten to an almost painful degree. His hand immediately goes to the lace margin of her panties, teasingly pulling as much as he can, letting it go so the satisfying sound of the elastic band slapping against her skin is loud in the room. Her face immediately goes red, and Isaac grins at her, his thumb already soothing the spot.

Then, he’s not joking anymore. His fingers dip beneath the material of her underwear, finding her already needy. He’s slow and careful in coaxing her, even when she’s not, swearing at him and gripping his shirt tightly in her fists, hips grinding so that she can match the movement of his digits inside her. It’s still not enough, and yet she’s still close to reaching her climax.

“Feels good?” Isaac asks, hot whispers at her ear, and she shivers above him.

The bastard is entirely enjoying it way too much.

“No,” she snaps, but his fingers curl inside her and she moans, movement stilling with the pleasure. “Don’t s-stop, I swear to God if you d-”

Isaac presses his thumb against her clit at the same time his mouth presses against her neck, and she comes, even if the bite at her skin has not been the vampire kind, a mimicry of their usual times. It takes her a bit to come back to herself and catch her breath, and in the meantime Isaac has removed his hand from inside her panties, now languidly licking her off his fingers. When she realizes what he’s doing, his tongue in-between two fingers, her face erupts in a blush again.

“Isaac!” she hisses, covering her face with her hands.

His own hands come to drag hers away, so he can look at her again. His fingers are still wet, a mix of her climax and his saliva now at her wrist too. He leans close to kiss her – he coaxes her mouth open, his tongue against hers, so that she can actually taste herself. When he leans back, he looks just stupidly proud of himself.

“You told me I can have you in any way I want.”

Isaac can be a terrible bully when he feels like the end purpose is worth it.

“It’s embarrassing,” she mumbles.

So Isaac moves his fingers to her mouth, and she opens and sucks without any other encouragement. His other hand comes up to per her hair.

“Good girl.”

His thigh tenses just a bit, snapping her attention back to his face. He raises an eyebrow at her, and that’s all the hint and approval she needs. Her hands immediately go to his belt, pulling his member free, already hard, precum leaking. She licks her lips. Holding on to him, she, albeit clumsily, drops to her knees, holding him in her palm, pushing her hair behind her ear with the other. She looks like a woman who has gone hungry for days, as she meets his eyes, leaning a bit closer, forcing his knees apart with her shoulders. He has a really good view at her cleavage like this – her dress already wrinkled from their earlier session, showing more skin than would have been proper if they weren’t lovers already.

It still makes him go a bit crazy.

This – it’s usually a slow process; she likes the teasing and she likes how he gets when the teasing is too much, but it seems she has decided to be merciful today, because after the first two testing pumps around his shaft, her mouth is already over him, taking him all in.

Isaac hisses, his head dropping to the back of the couch. His fingers reach for her, tangling in her hair – not pulling, not pushing, not yet. Just resting there, acknowledging her, and she hums around him at the touch.

“Greedy,” he sighs, and his other hand fists at his side.

She hollows her cheeks just to get him to shut up. He yanks at her hair, and with a wet pop, she pouts up at him. Her tongue comes out, just barely touching the tip of his dick – and he releases her. It was supposed to be just a warning for her to behave, and so she does afterwards, head bobbing around him, keeping up a rhythm. She’s been doing this enough times that she knows what to do, how to do it – and to recognize when he is close enough. Isaac bites his lips, still not quite without shame to just leave his sounds of pleasure ring loud, even in empty rooms, even in the middle of the night. Then, finally, the beginning of her name, the hand returning in her hand.

“H-how… do you want this?” he asks, and she licks her lips, now her hands around his dick, continuing his sweet, sweet torture.

“How do you want this?” she asks back.

His eyes linger at the expanse of skin at her neck, and dipping lower and lower, her boobs almost spilling over the tight material of her dress. She shifts a bit, pulling her dress even more downwards with a hand, and her tits bounce as she resumes and tightens her grip around him, quickens her movements as well. He would have liked it better if she were naked – but maybe he can carry her back to his room, undress her and start this all over. He’s the one who called her greedy, and he’s the one who wants to take until she breaks.

It doesn’t take him much longer to come, white strings all over her face and cleavage, and she helps him all the way through the orgasm. Her nickname, darling, broken in his mouth. Every time he comes for her, it feels like just barely enough to tickle his need for her (always present, thrumming just under his skin). She allows him to regain his breath, to come back to her.

 “Hi,” she says, when she blinks up at him, smile so large on her face that it makes him smile as well.

It’s a conversation that they’ve already had before.

“Hi,” he says back, and he’s helping her up.

She looks like a mess, hair sticky against her forehead, dress and face stained.

Isaac can feel his face burning, as he shoves his dick back inside his pants, as he fishes his handkerchief from his front pocket. Slowly, while she’s smiling at him all throughout, he wipes at his own cum, cleaning her up as much as possible. There’s no way that, if someone were to see her, they wouldn’t know exactly what she’s been up to, though.

“How does a bath together sound?”

She pouts.

“I’m the one supposed to spoil you…,” she complains, but she’s all weak and tired in his arms.

Isaac rubs a finger at her neck, fingers splayed all over her upper boobs. She knows what he means by the gesture: that he’s already gotten what he wanted. Fair enough. She opens her eyes again, to the full weight of his gaze already on her.

 “Thank you,” he says, and he sounds so honest, so open – his earns turning red.

Really, his beloved is just a bit daft: he’s spoiled every day with her love. Isaac has always considered it enough, but if he can get away with this from time to time, all the better.

It’s not until way later, after their bath and after she’s fallen asleep next to him in her bed, that he remembers there’s a present still left unopen. But she’s holding onto the sleeve of his shirt as she sleeps, and the cold has settled properly through the room – and Isaac can wait until Christmas morning.

[linklethehistorian]

Randou and the Sins of Season 3's Fifteen Adaption (Part 14/???)

Episode 27 — The God of Fire (2/4)

Contrary to the presentation of the conversation between Dazai and Chuuya following the former’s aforementioned actions in the anime, where it simply ends on the suicidal boy’s several agreements that shooting a dead body is probably excessive and unnecessary and that his partner is right to claim such, that is not really the way it truly unfolded within its source material; no, instead, when Chuuya asks him to show respect for the dead by not continuing to shoot the man’s lifeless form, Dazai only acknowledges his statement once — his superficially familiar “Yeah. You’re right.” taking on an entirely different tone and context in the novel — before adding that that is ordinarily what people would think and pausing a moment, laughing dryly at his own statement soon after as he walks away towards the mansion.

Of course, I suppose that you may be wondering why something as seemingly small as removing his laughter and perhaps swapping a few choice words out for others is such a big deal to me — or to anyone else, for that matter — when it ultimately all sounds much the same, and I suppose I can’t really blame you for that, either, but it’s necessary for you to understand that in this case, the key to the scene’s proper nuance really does lie in these very things that were taken away from us. As I said above, the words, “Yeah. You’re right” are used by Dazai in an entirely different light between the two versions; while in the animation, it was clearly used as an agreement with the redhead’s sentiment, in the novel, it functioned more as a show of attentiveness towards the person presenting their views to him, as well as an acknowledgement that this was something he’d heard many times before from other “normal” people and thus was not the least bit surprised to be told again — especially when Chuuya was, from his then-current perspective, not any different from the rest of the masses in his thought processes.

On the question of whether or not this is a compliment or an insult, I think that it is worth acquiescing that it may genuinely be a bit of both, for although I personally lean more towards the latter and have my own reasoning for believing it was meant as such, I do think that Lea also has some rather interesting insight into and ideas on the matter, herself, and I absolutely don’t want to just ignore her point of view on it, when I do feel that it too at least bears a decent amount of consideration; therefore, I will do my best to give a bit of elaboration on both angles, along with asking that if I fail to explain her thoughts well to you, you might feel free to check out the post in which she originally goes over it.

From Lea’s personal standpoint, it is her belief that the bandaged teen’s laughter at his assertion that Chuuya’s thoughts were ordinary compared to his was not meant as a mockery towards Chuuya or so-called “ordinary” people, but rather was aimed at himself; according to her explanation, this is because Dazai is well aware of how strange his mind is and, as such, how he himself can never qualify as or belong to the notion of anything ‘ordinary’, thus causing him to hold some bitterness towards himself for how out of place he is in the world and how little he believes he can ever fit in. As before, whilst I may hold a different opinion on the situation overall, I don’t actually think this interpretation is precisely wrong, nor do I think it should be completely overlooked, as I absolutely don’t doubt that Dazai does, to some extent, feel a deep dissatisfaction in himself because of how ‘different’ and, in a sense, removed from everyone else, he is, and how that has led to him experiencing this great emptiness inside and struggling to want to continue living; I don’t doubt for even a moment that there are and have often been times in the past when Dazai may have been, on some level, jealous of those around him and perhaps even had a part of him wish that he could be like everyone else, because I’m almost sure that all of this has been true — at least, at one point or another.

That being said, though, that also does not erase the fact that regardless of any envy he may feel for the general population, it is absolutely not because he in any way believes them or their ways of thinking to be genuinely superior; in fact, based on all that has already been established about Dazai — both in this particular entry and all of those in the past as well — I think it is very fair and safe of me to make the assessment that, if anything, it is exactly the opposite that is true. Dazai envies others and their thought processes not for some alleged superiority, but rather, for their supposed inferiority, which his emotionally and empathetically narrow mind perceives them to have; to the young so-called genius, his occasional desire to be like the ‘ordinary’ people around him is little more than a wish that he could sometimes turn his ‘logic’ off — to become simple and ‘naive’ enough to be unaware of what he thinks are the true ways of the world, or at least just be ‘foolish’ enough to see it and still be able to ‘delude’ himself into denying it anyway.

Assuredly, I can grant that the suicidal teen may dislike or even resent his own nature, but once more, it is not because he believes there is something wrong with him mentally, half so much as that he believes he is much too smart for his own good; thus, I hardly think it appropriate to say that his laughter is in intentional mockery of that or of himself, when I find it far more easy to believe that he is amused by and making mockery of the “lower intelligence” of others and their compassionate, ‘uninformed’, emotionally-driven outlooks.

Of course, if this conclusion of mine is indeed right, then we would naturally have a much better explanation for why this moment was omitted in the anime. I know that some people might think that it is very logical to presume that they simply cut whatever they could for time, and that this part was just one of those things that could be easily and fairly harmlessly expended, rather than to take the less charitable stance in saying that this was a calculated move of some kind; however, when you truly give any degree of genuine thought to it, you must admit that it is a little absurd to suggest the studio decided that these few potential seconds of additional dialogue were “taking up too much time”, especially when you consider that they were just fine with wasting much, much longer on credit sequences and extended events that did not even happen as presented in the original story on other occasions.

Furthermore, while no one is denying that the moments leading up to this removed final exchange aren’t exactly the best at providing pleasant representation for Dazai, there is still no ignoring the fact that without this last piece being kept in, it is nonetheless infinitely better for a more SKK compliant, ‘kinder Dazai’ narrative than it would be with it still maintained, as it not only makes Dazai look slightly nicer, but especially lends much more of a sense that Chuuya’s words had a profound effect on him than they actually did. As for what they gain in pushing this untrue portrayal I continue to allude to so often, and what reason I have to believe they’re actually doing that, well, that’s something I’ll get into much more later, but I imagine it isn’t so hard to at least partially figure out on your own anyway, in the meantime — even if you don’t truly know the full extent of the butchery they’ve committed to achieve it.

Temporarily setting aside this treachery and mutilation, though, even if this one choice hadn’t been a part of some much bigger picture, I would still be just as disappointed in their decision, as I feel it heavily tones down the full extent of the scene’s eeriness and loses the true sense of the two teens’ personalities, thoughts, and relationship with each other.

It is, true, too, I have no doubt, that the earlier addition of Dazai’s “what you say is probably correct” to the conversation, after twice confirming that Chuuya was right with his assessment, was included in order to mirror a certain scene in DEAD APPLE, but I don’t really have much to give of my own, commentary-wise, on it, since unlike the other alteration, its existence does not change all that much, and as a result, I neither hate nor adore it; it simply exists, and that is fine.

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[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 6 OF 22

Take hands. There is no love now. But there are hands.

- Laura Riding Jackson, "Take Hands".

--

When she first started hanging out with Theo and Arthur, Theo had left with her one piece of advice—one very, very important piece of advice: “If you’ll only ever listen to one thing I say, let it be this one: do not owe Arthur a favor, ever.”

Of course, in the usual Theo fashion, he did not give her any sort of context about it, no explanation as to how he had come to that very grave conclusion. Except that he knew he was right. And she was going to ask, but after hearing Arthur’s triumphant laughter at having overheard that—well, maybe the mystery was a little more than worth it.

And just like that, she had tucked that advice off at the back of her mind.

So now, she’s in the bookshop again, 2:00 pm on a Sunday, holding Arthur by the hand asking him a favor.

“Please, please, please, pretty please Arthur?” she begs, shaking his hand side to side as she goes. It is the midterm season now, and leaving your fellow students on their own isn’t really a thing in this university. Where possible, everyone is gathering to have group studies and teaching sessions. She figures Arthur could afford her one. Or seven. “You’ve taken his class, haven’t you? The infamous worst professor of the College of Arts.”

Of course, Arthur has. If he’s going to kind-of-not-really minor in Literature, the way he’ll do it is the way he loves the best: the hardest, most challenging way. Of course, that means he got the toughest classes out of the way first.

“Hardly the worst, love,” he says, with a mock-flip of non-existent long hair. “I’d say that fancy fake British accent woman teaching poetry is much worse than that bloke, but that could only be because I couldn’t stand what she was doing to the syllables.”

“Yeah, sure but—that’s not the point,” she says. “Look, I need a recommendation letter from this grumpy, wrinkled banana of a professor, and I’m not getting it unless I pass his exam. But you know how his exams are, he teaches you the English alphabet and then quizzes you in Spanish kind of exams, I just need to prepare properly and—well,” Dazai’s face flashes before her eyes, “you’re the most reliable one I could ask for? Please?”

Arthur lets out a small overdramatic sigh that’s really entirely theatrics. She knows better. “Here’s to me rescuing your sorry little ass, little miss. I’ll help you, but I have two conditions.”

“Yay!” she claps her hands excitedly and grins. “Yes, any! Give me!”

“First, you’ll owe me one favor.”

“Yes, sure, got you,” she nods.

(From the counter, she hears Theo murmur: “You have made the worst mistake of your entire life,” but she ignores it.)

“And—you’ll bring my old chap Theo.”

“What?”

She and Theo both look up at the same time.

And answer at the same time.

“What?” “Wait, wait, why is he coming?”

Arthur laughs. “Are you both so against it?”

“No, I’m just—curious?” she hesitates. “Does he even want to go?”

Theo and Arthur take a moment to glare at each other, which at this point you already know is the equivalent of them doing a high five or a handshake—it’s pretty much harmless.

Arthur’s flat smile turns into a big grin. He sing-songs: “Theo~”

“I can’t owe you a favor for asking you to shut up,” Theo says.

But Arthur is brimming with confidence when he says, “Well, no, it was a favor to me, so you’ll need to respect it.”

And Theo knows that resisting Arthur just spells trouble, so he settles for glaring  even sharper, larger daggers into Arthur’s face, but does not argue: “Klootzak.”

And the Brit grins. “That’s why you shouldn’t try and owe me anything, old chap.”

She blinks and wonders what is going on.

--

Of course, work in the bookshop doesn’t end, and there are more and more customers looking for supplementary readings (or even distractions) so Theo and Arthur only get to join her after the shop closes at 5:00 pm. She’s announced that she’ll be studying every day at the Little Owl, the café Vincent works in, and Arthur had gleefully agreed to follow instead of having her move places. Besides, Arthur insists he cannot work without the taste of the coffee the cute barista (“not Vincent,” Arthur promises Theo) makes for him. Theo sighs, longing for the quiet and Arthur-lessness of the College of Business’ library, but decides to follow through with his promise.

Theo was alone at the bookshop today—Monday, Arthur’s day off—and so only follows suit to her and Arthur at the café once his shift ends. Vincent’s shift at the café ends an hour earlier than Theo’s at the bookstore, so the two brothers just miss narrowly miss each other. Which is a good thing, because even if Vincent already knows, he would be a little bit horrified if Vincent saw him headed to the two rascals already there. Is this who his brother thinks he hangs out with? No, Vincent, they are the exception, he wants to say, but he doesn’t want to argue with his brother during work.

“Why hello there, dear slave of capitalism,” Arthur greets happily. He’s wearing the glasses he wears when “he’s taking the world seriously,” the one Theo asked him to wear more often, for god’s sake.

Theo shakes his head. “We are slaves to the same bookshop, Arthur.”

“A really good bookshop!” she pipes up, looking up from her little studying set-up just as she finishes writing something down. In front of her, she has an old book borrowed from the library laid out on a book stand, a standing pencil case with all sorts of markers and pens, a notebook, and a little notepad to scribble on. Then, she points at Arthur with her pen. “I know you said don’t owe Arthur favors, but this doesn’t seem to be that bad an idea.”

“It will eventually be,” he says nonchalantly. “Well, don’t let me interrupt in your studying?”

“He’s actually done tutoring me for today,” she says, “so we can actually study on our own now.”

“But together,” Arthur insists. “That was my condition. Also, are you not forgetting something, little bird?”

Theo blinks. She pauses and then gasps. “Oh right! Right!”

She pulls out a lunchbox.

This isn’t entirely surprising on its own, because the two of them had decided to work for a good amount of time, and it might be cheaper to bring your own food than buy over and over again at the counter, even if it’s just a cookie or two. It’s midterms season so the café allows outside food, if for the sanity of its usual customers.

Except.

“I brought these for you, Theo.”

For Theo? But it’s nearly dinnertime, and he won’t be here for long…

Theo cautiously takes the lunchbox but doesn’t open it.

“This isn’t poisoned, is it?” he asks—jokingly.

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Oh, if I wanted to off you, Theo, there are better ways. Open it up, won’t you?”

And Theo does; pops open the little container to peer at what’s inside, and—

The lunchbox has pancakes inside.

Not full-sized pancakes, but small ones the size of poached eggs, fluffy and golden. Theo flushes.

“A little angel told me you liked them,” she says, grinning at his expression.

Theo realizes how transparent he has been about it and glares at Arthur in response. Arthur looks as remorseless as ever to his misery, but—does not claim the act with a smirk or a holler.

But the surprise isn’t over yet, because then she takes out of her bag the smallest commercially-available bottle of his favorite brand of syrup, giving it to Theo. And with a smirk in her voice, she says, “Can’t have pancakes without this, no?”

Theo’s ears are aflame , a deep red. Of course his own brother would betray him. Always looking out for him in the best of ways and then betraying him in the most expected of ones.

Theo takes the pancakes with a gruff Thank you that seems to be enough for her, and then the three of them return to their studying. Not that he does it entirely well that day, because has trouble focusing on his studies at all thinking of how delicious the pancakes she’s brought him actually are.

--

They study together the rest of the week.

It rains on Tuesday, and the café is more crowded than usual. For the first of three hours they spend there, it is only her and Theo, heads turned low into their thick books. Arthur arrives late because he said he had to take a detour for a “sweet skirt” from the medical department. Theo asks if it’s one of his professors he’s trying to talk into giving him a passing grade for his piss-poor efforts. Arthur does not deny. They pick up dinner at a local convenience store before heading their separate ways home on their respective bikes.

It is still raining on the evening of Wednesday, and Arthur and Theo have to run (without umbrellas, because—well, because they’re idiots) the distance from the bookshop to the café where she is waiting, jumping in between eaves and doing their best not to end up too drenched. Not that it works out that well, because she still looks at them pitifully before ordering the both of them coffee for their little misery. They dry off pretty well though, but they don’t get to stay too long because she insists they go home and actually dry off properly before they get sick.

Arthur finally takes their little study session a little seriously for himself on Thursday. Their usual spot—her favorite spot, mind you—is occupied when they arrive, so they’re camped out at a long table, she and Arthur sitting side by side and Theo across the both of them. Theo’s brought bound books for the past few days, but today he has sheaves of papers (readings, perhaps) and a leather-bound notebook (“That’s when you know he’s down for srs bsns,” Arthur says, and she asks how the hell he was able to say it like it was type-speak in real life). Arthur’s no different, with his thoroughly annotated medical anatomy books sitting in front of him, glasses on his nose.

But Theo… Theo is so distracting.

When they decide to study separately—that is, when Arthur isn’t clarifying a particularly complicated concept or Theo isn’t helping her out by quizzing her—the three of them work side by side in comfortable silence, all working with an earpiece or two on to at least dull the sound of the rest of the café working in their own little worlds. So this isn’t exactly odd; they’ve been doing this since Monday, after all, and if she were to be honest, she’d enjoy it if they did this a little more often in the future, if possible.

So then why… is she so distracted?

Why does she keep looking up from the poem she’s turning upside down with annotations and notes and markings to see if she can sneak a discreet glance at Theo, his eyes trained on the things he is studying? Why does she keep looking hoping she can stare at least a few more seconds at the unusual side of him, none of the crease marks on his forehead when he’s being rude or sarcastic, just concentration, deep blue eyes not straying from the pages through the rim of his glasses. And oh—Theo with glasses is such a sight! She’s not interested in him in that way—no—but by god, does he look different with glasses. Maybe she’s just gotten so used to Arthur with glasses that it doesn’t strike much in her, but Theo—

“Stop staring at me,” Theo huffs, looking up at her and meeting her gaze. His bangs are pulled to the side where he’d brushed them off, the back end of his hair standing a little cutely upwards because he was fiddling with the nape of his neck earlier with his pen, and—well.

It’s hard to not be blown away when he looks like that.

“Oh shit, sorry,” she says, snapping out of it with a shake of her head. Getting caught is such a rookie mistake! “I was zoning out.”

Arthur chuckles next to her. She and Theo pretend not to have heard him.

On Friday, she and Arthur decide to go have a little quizzing session to prepare her for the oral part of her exams. (“Hehe, oral.” “Shut the fuck up won’t you, Arthur?”) They get Theo to work with them as the scorekeeper. She gets a good percentage of the questions right (80%) but she still does not feel confident enough about it. She turns back to work on her laptop with Theo sipping coffee by her side as Arthur leaves to go on a dinner date with said sweet skirt from Monday. Theo repeats the joke, and this time Arthur says, “And what if it is?” They do not know if he is joking, at this point.

When their usual time to go has struck, Theo closes the book in front of him and stretches a little, bending his neck side to side. She turns to him and frowns.

“Look, I know I asked you yesterday we could do the book club today but… can we just skip it to next week instead? I’m really fried after today.”

“That’s fine,” he says, but then pauses. “You work too hard. I didn’t really expect to do it today.” He sips from his already-cold mug of coffee.

“Hey, I actually wanted to do it, alright? I just—I’m writing a short paper on 19th century literature right now” she answers. “For my portfolio. I’m submitting it as an extra right after the exam, and I want it done so I can focus on studying for the exam afterward.”

So that’s why she’s been typing away on her laptop with not much pause after Arthur left. “Portfolio?” he narrows his eyes. “Applying for something?”

“Yeah, the OSR’s scholarship.”

“The international one.”

“Yeah, that one,” she confirms. “I’ve been waiting for a bit for them to reveal the requirements and… I don’t know, it feels like it gets longer and more strict every year. I’m trying to up my chances by having a strong portfolio.”

“I see.” Theo pauses, takes in the disappointment still apparent on her face, and sighs. “Look, if you still want to do the book club—we can do it while we walk home.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” he nods. “So if you’re tired, then pack up and let’s go. Schiet op.”

“Geez, just give me a sec!”

--

By the time she and Theo make their way out of the café, the sun is long out of the sky, the street lit in a beautiful shade of warm yellow from the streetlamps. The both of them live roughly in the same area of town—at the southeast residential side, but pretty close to the center, where the café is—but their houses are still around 20 minutes apart by foot. There is, however, the main boulevard that connects their ways home up until a certain point, so they decide to make the most of it by walking the 30 minutes up to that fork in the road even if she did technically have her bike with her.

“Okay, so, book talk, huh?” she says, digging into her bag to find the Kerouac he’d lent her. His copy of On the Road had weathered down rather beautifully over the years; the paper a shade of yellow just right for the eyes, no mottling of the pages, and despite the red matter cover being dog-eared and slightly faded, it’s the kind that’s endearing—the kind a book gets after being held well while being read, and then being kept away so lovingly. With the book in her hands now, she looks near hesitant to even part with the book at all. “Kerouac… was one hell of a read.”

He takes the book she hands back and thumbs it carefully. “What do you think about it?”

“I actually don’t know where to begin,” she says, staring off at the road beyond them. “The contrast of them going to these vast empty places to fill something deep in them...” She sighs, a happy sigh coming out of her. By this point, Theo already knows the kind of face she makes when she’s remembering the hours she spent reading the book—the expression she has right now betrayed that.  “And then they were always—well, as with the title I guess—I felt like they were always on the road, even if not literally, then within them?”

Theo nods. “Always going somewhere unknown.”

“Yeah, for sure. It’s not like they were not established right, just that… there were so many possibilities you know? They were talking about crossing America and going from here to there and they seemed to… change with every landscape they went in. And it was exactly all those possibilities that were so fun. You definitely hit that request of mine, because I’m 100% sure all that going away made me want to go away again.” She takes a deep breath. “It’s kinda sad though, that things won’t be as mysterious as back then.” She waves her hand. “What with social media and all.”

“The insight that comes with travel is different now that the world is more connected to one another.”

“And the connection is so accessible!” she notes “Like, one of us can go away but it’s not the end of the world? We can still talk if we wanted to, there are so many ways to do it. And that’s great, but now… now when you go away it doesn’t feel as spiritual an experience? I mean, you can easily Google what a place looks like and…”

Theo turns to her after she abruptly stops. “And what?”

A beat. Two. She hasn’t stopped walking, with her eyes facing in front of her, but her eyebrows are narrowed like she’s carefully choosing how to put what she’s thinking into words. Theo patiently waits throughout the full minute it takes her to speak. “…Do you ever feel like you’re only a visitor in a certain place? Or maybe even anywhere. Like you’re only meant to be there for a few days, a month, maybe a year, but—never in the long term, never for the rest of your life.”

That… isn’t what he was expecting.

But then again, he doesn’t really know what to expect with her around, at this point.

Things are always more than with her.

For a moment, Theo ponders. Sure, he’s had instances feeling uncomfortable in the places he’s in, or maybe acknowledging that there are better places to be—such as when he left their hometown to go here, to follow his brother—but he hasn’t really thought about the rest of it. He’s always imagined the tides would just bring him to places, and he wouldn’t have to work hard to be brought elsewhere; to just let himself be washed ashore to new islands.

“I’m not sure,” he answers, thumbing the side of On the Road once more. He wonders what it was like during Kerouac’s generation—dreaming of a spiritual journey, going out there and exploring the unknown, how so much was left to be learned. How will his generation be remembered? What difference will they make, will they go down in history?

She nods simply. “It’s okay, I’m just the kind of person who likes to think about all this. Sal’s changing views on Dean was… I don’t know how to put it, it’s just like being in a different place, having a different experience with people changes the way you see about them, even if that place is… geographically, and not like a situation. Does that make sense?”

“You have to admit, most of the book doesn’t make sense,” Theo notes.

“…I did hear Kerouac wrote a good portion of it pretty high.”

“Maybe it’ll make sense when you read it high, too.”

They grin at each other, and Theo turns to get the Neruda book out from his bag.

“I’m so close to memorizing the content of this book, with how many times I read it,” he admits, passing the volume over to her. They touch fingers for only the briefest of moments. “Neruda has an interesting way with words.”

She nods. “I still feel bad that I don’t get to read him in his original Spanish because I feel like that makes a difference. The translations are still pretty good though. Any poem you liked particularly?”

“Maybe I Remember You as You Were.”

“Oooh, that’s very romantic,” she says, flipping right to the page he was talking about. “Bonfire of awe in which my thirst was burning.”

“Sweet blue hyacinth twisted over my soul,” he continues. “The passion in some of his love poems get overwhelming sometimes. I remember You is just the right touch of romance and longing I like in a Neruda.”

“Hmm?” She turns to him curiously. “Mayhaps you’ve already been a Neruda fan from the start?”

“I’ve read him in the past, yes.”

That’s not that surprising, really, considering how much of a household name Pablo Neruda is to literary enthusiasts at this point. One of the more “modern” classics of poetry, arguably. She’s not satisfied with his answer, of course. “Which, pray tell, is your favorite?”

It takes him a moment, biting the inside of his cheek in thought. After a beat, he answers, “Don’t Go Far Off.”

“And you say you’re not a romantic,” she says while shaking her head.

“I am not a romantic.”

“Theo, I know the poem by heart. You can’t tell me that shit isn’t romantic.”

Every minute he spends with her, the more drops of confusion fall onto his mind about himself. And not the bad kind; simply, why is it that she can see him so differently compared to others? What is it about her that she catches what sneaks past others?

He wouldn’t call the poem romantic, but maybe if she says it…

No. Instead, he looks at her. Challenges her. “Prove it.”

“Okay, you start.”

He takes a deep breath before beginning. “Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because—”

“Because—I don’t know how to say it: a day is long and I will be waiting for you.” She doesn’t miss a beat when she answers.

He continues. “As in an empty station when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”

The way she traces the sounds of the syllables so delicately, like it would shatter if she wasn’t careful with their sound, isn’t missed by him. Does she read all poetry, all literature with this much adoration? “Don’t leave me, even for an hour, because then the little drops of anguish will all run together.”

At this point, Theo is already nodding, very much impressed. “The smoke that roams looking for a home will drift—"

(And together, they say) “Into me, choking my lost heart.”

The two of them look at each other quietly, the poem’s imagery settling in the spaces between them.

In a way that makes them feel content.

He continues. “Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach; may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.”

“Don’t leave me for a second, my dearest.”

“Because in that moment you'll have gone so far.”

“I'll wander mazily,” she breathes, “over all the earth, asking—”

Theo sighs. “Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?”

With that, the two of them relish in the silence at the end of the poem, letting it all dissolve into the air like the puffs of smoke from their breath.

“Nice of you to know that start to finish,” Theo says, by way of compliment.

She makes a little mock-bow with her skirt. “Thank you. I also really like that poem as well, actually.”

For some minutes, the two of them share a companionable silence, the moon shining over them, casting a silver glow. It is only when the itch to ask the question becomes too much that Theo finally opens his mouth.

“Why are you so fixated on going away?” he asks.

She stares at him. “What?”

“You’re always talking about the out there and the going away. And now you’re planning to leave for a scholarship—when you get in,” he says. “Have a boner for it?”

She makes a face. “No, what the hell,” she says. “Is it so bad to want a little adventure when you live in such a small town like this?”

“Not really,” he hums. “You strike me as the kind of person who disappears from everyone because you’re chasing something far off into the unknown,” he says.

She opens her mouth, about to say something, before she takes a deep breath to hold it back in. Theo feels like he’s overstepped a boundary he shouldn’t have. But instead of talking back at him or refuting, she says, “That would be a great story for a small Literature major like me, huh?”

It’s a non-answer.

The one Theo knows means there’s a more complex answer—that she’s not just ready to tell him yet.

It’s alright.

He can wait.

A few more minutes pass, this time in comfortable silence. Theo considers small talk, about the bookstore, or Vincent and Arthur, but she looks so deep in thought he decides not too. Sooner than he would have liked, they reach the fork in the road. He stops and turns to her fully.

“Books?”

She blinks as if torn away from a daydream. “Oh right, books. Nearly forgot.”

The two of them pull out the books to exchange from their respective bags; she catches the title The Night Circus in the one he hands her, another dog-eared, well-loved, black book; and she also catches the twitch of his eyebrow in interest when she hands him Atwood’s Dearly.

They keep their books away and fall back into their usual quiet.

“You sure I don’t need to walk you home?”

“It’s a well-lit road. I’ll be fine,” she insists. “I can bike from here to there, it’ll take me three minutes tops.”

He nods, the smallest of smiles on his face. “I’ll see you around, then. I hope you enjoy the book."

--

This isn’t the first time Theo has lent her a book. And this isn’t the last time Theo will lend her a book, either—if there’s anything about their kind-of friendship she knows for sure, it’s that he’ll need to try harder to get rid of her if he doesn’t like the company.

But somehow, the arrival of the new book in her small, rented dorm room leaves her unbalanced. She knows she has better things to do like her essay for the portfolio and studying for the exam—80% correct for the oral test is pretty good, but not good enough—but she lets the book taunt her anyway.

It is Saturday now, and she places it on her desk with the cover facing up, black and red and white with an intricate illustration of figures. Is it because of the conversation they had last night? It wasn’t odd for their little book discussions to wander into personal territory, because it is true that the way we read books is very much influenced by the things we have experienced in real life, but that one… that felt different. Somehow, it’s as if the both of them had opened up a pandora’s box of—well, something, and all of that is nestled in between the pages of the lent book.

It wasn’t like her wanting to go away was a secret in any way, shape, or form. Friendship with Theo or not, she was meant to leave this place. Or at least, that what she likes to believe. She’s pretty sure she’s mentioned even in the past that this town is too small for her; too little; there is a wider world out there to discover. And it wasn’t like Theo being some sort of hidden romantic was a surprise either—she’s known from the moment he didn’t stop asking her for poetry books. Nothing new was really uncovered last night, but then…

Why can’t she seem to let it go?

Her eyes rest back to the book on her desk. She said she wouldn’t read it until after the oral exam on Tuesday at the very least, but—she has peered into it the night before as she was going to bed, and yet once more this morning.

She’s not sure what it is about yet, but it seems that he’s lent her some sort of fantasy-romance, because she had asked for a book with a magic system in it. (Thinking about the wonders of magic is a great stress-reliever in the midst of exams.) She had expected Theo to be a good level of well-read because he worked at the Hoard—but somehow, he was always blowing away her expectations. Theo is always saying about how weird she is for pursuing him, but isn’t he the weirder one? At least she shows no pretense of being any sort of normal. He does his best to look put together.

Did that big looming man look like the kind of person who would read a novel title The Night Circus?

Not really, not to her. But it’s because he is that kind of person that keeps her so hooked, so interesting. She doesn’t quite know what has happened yet, but—whatever it was that unlocked between the both of them last night, it can’t be that bad. So by 3:00pm, when she said she would be running through drills for her exam, she closes her laptop shut, makes herself some tea, and curls up into her armchair to read.

--

Just because they get along with each other doesn’t mean they agree with everything.

For example, she’s explained that she’s the kind of person who marathon-reads whatever she can get her hands on, if she finds it interesting enough. It’s not that she doesn’t have patience for reading; she does, and she thoroughly enjoys being lost in a good book. It’s just that she can’t do what the others do when they like a book—read it leisurely, enjoy it from page to page, taste every word like it’s sweet. She’s more of the kind who sits down at eight in the morning with a interesting book and being unable to stand until it’s done in the afternoon. There is no waiting in her vocabulary, only the going.

Oppositely, Theo likes to take his time with his books, the same way one would do a walk. Take the scenic route; enjoy the scenery, take in all the details with your sense. To Theo, reading a book is going into it, getting lost in between the world that is hiding in its pages, and there is no need to rush that. The book is not going anywhere, and he can always open it up and return to where he’d stopped. Theo rarely reads books in one go unless he’s in a rush to do it, like say in a required reading for a class.

So when he sends her a message on Sunday, saying,

[ 9:44 | Theo ] Good book choice this week. Had fun with it

less than 48 hours from the moment she had given him the book…

She yells.

Really loudly. Her next door neighbor pounds on the wall between them, and she shouts out a “sorry!” as she begins typing on her phone.

[ 9:43 ] You finished it already?

[ 9:44 | Theo ] Is that so surprising?

[ 9:44 ] 😊 You don’t understand how happy I am rn

[ 9:45 | Theo ] It’s just a book, relax.

[ 9:45 ] Yea sure but don’t you read slowly on purpose? Kinda thrilled you liked it enough to polish it in one go.

She pauses, hand hovering over her phone, before she writes out another message.

[ 9:46 ] Thanks for telling me. This has def made my day.

And it takes a minute for him to reply, but then he returns:

[ 9:47 | Theo ] Isn’t this what friends do?

Well, let’s say that something in her belly does a flip, and—

It makes her feel weightless.

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 7: An oxidising world of a dream (Part 5)

Warnings: angst

Author notes: yes, I do consider that this part is heartbreaking enough to put angst as a warning... Do tell me if you think otherwise! (or another smart way to ask for feedback...)

I waited behind the door of the familiar infirmary, my arms crossed and my look focused onto the carpet beneath my feet. I had been ordered to stay there until Dazai came out, while he had sent men and Akutagawa to the art museum of Yokohama for a mission. If at first I had wondered if he was punishing me for my previous failure during the casino mission, I had soon realised that this raid to the museum was pointless, and clearly a trap Mimic had set for us. However, the squadron had been getting impatient, lately, and their desire to fight overcame any trace of reason their consciousness held. The most stupid of all had to be the "dog". He exposed himself to danger without further questioning, only to prove our superior he was worth his praises. He could not understand that the executive did not expect such things from him... And he would never listen to my advice.

"Odasaku is awake." The door opened behind me.

"It is good." I cracked a discreet smile "Do you need me to do anything?"

"Come in, and try to convince him." Dazai sighed "He wants to go and save Akutagawa..."

"Akutagawa...?" I narrowed my eyes, following him inside the infirmary "Well, he is an asset for the Mafia, after all... And you will not pretend you are ready to toss his power aside, will you?"

"So you agree, Ogawa?" Oda asked me upon seeing me.

"I am glad to see you are better, Oda." I smiled "And I do agree that helping Akutagawa out would be better. However... I could go myself. You have just woken up and many things occurred. You need to rest."

"Resting..." He hummed "I don't need it. I feel as though I owe someone, so I can't stay there doing nothing."

"Owing..." Dazai sighed "The one you owe doesn't even remember what he'd lent you..."

"But I do." He shrugged "Besides, it is absolutely out of question that you go, Ogawa."

"I have not been ordered not to go." I defended.

"Dazai, order her."

"Why would he...?" I frowned "I can —"

"A consequent amount of shops and warehouses of the Port Mafia has been bombed while Odasaku was asleep." My superior cut me "And you took care of every single case without my assistance. You too, need to rest."

"You'd rather send your sick friend off than your lieutenant...?" I argued, holding onto Oda's sleeve so he would not leave "I am your subordinate, I appreciate that you care about my safety but... It is my duty. Oda needs to rest, he was poisoned heavily and no matter how strong he is, he is still weakened from the —"

The executive grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him, until my forehead rested onto his shoulder. The effects of No Longer Human were immediate; the thoughts of my surroundings faded away, and my eyelids felt heavy with the need to sleep.

"You can't..." I protested, trying to pull away but finding myself too weak to do so "You can't..."

"You haven't slept, the other night... I order you to rest now..." He said, rather softly.

"But your friend... He... Will..."

"Odasaku will be alright." He reassured me "I trust him, I know he will not put himself in danger."

I heard footsteps getting away and deduced the man had left. He had resolved himself to let Oda go... Fatigue took over and my knees buckled under my weight, brusquely. His arms wrapped around my waist to support me and my hands gripped onto Dazai's coat as I fought not to fall asleep just yet, but I could not deny my body needed to doze off, for at least a few hours. I hated being so useless...

"I... Am of no use to you..." I murmured, my voice muffled by his coat.

"Being exhausted makes you say idiotic things." He retorted, suddenly picking me up to lay me down on the bed "Why are you still trying not to fall asleep...?"

"I heard you... Praising Akutagawa..." I refused to let go of him "Even if he is dumb... He has power... Everyone... Around you is so strong... And I..."

"Stop saying things you know I have never thought about, Ogawa... Comparing you with Akutagawa is impossible, comparing you with Odasaku is unbelievable as well." Dazai stated.

"... Am I an incompetent...?"

"The one who said that must be blind."

"Akutagawa has a good sight..." I closed my eyes, but opened them before surrendering to sleep "I am... Incompetent... Unsuited to be by your side... I don't want to sleep and be useless..."

His hand landed onto my forehead, pushing my bangs away from my eyes and making contact with my skin.

"Being useless is the last thing I think about you..." He assured me "I'd appreciate it if you had some sleep before going back to work."

"I'll leave you alone..."

"I'll bring you to the office as soon as you close your eyes, then. I swear, so now, do not torment your mind with such thoughts anymore and only think about resting well, to assist me afterwards." He cracked a smile, clumsily running his hand across my head.

"Alright, then... If it is not a bother..." My eyelids fell and my body went numb.

"... How could that ever be a bother...?"

Dazai had gone out with Oda. The two had some business to take care about, and my superior had insisted for me not to go. After the incident at the art museum, Akutagawa had come back safely, as well as Oda, and the matter was settled within hours. I leaned my head onto the bay of the executive's office. The sun had disappeared behind the horizon for a moment now, leaving only the darkness and a few stars to light it up. I noticed it was a night without a moon, and did not like it. When the world was too immersed in shadows, nothing good would ever occur. I feared this night was ominous.

"Come back safe, Dazai..." I whispered, looking away from the lights of the town.

Humankind had always hated complete darkness. Electricity had allowed us to tame the night and its fictional monsters so we could prolong our day as much as possible. But whether it was under the sun or a neon light, we could never run away from our own shadows, and I liked to think the evilness laying still within us was the origin of our tales about the night. The true monsters often — not to say always — had a human face.

Slowly, I walked across the office to take my coat before exiting it, without forgetting to close the door behind me. It felt so lonely, being away from his side... Everything seemed completely worthless if Dazai was nowhere around me, as if the reason I could live had been taken away from me. In a way, I was aware of the dangerous truth; I depended on my superior as much as I was addicted to morphine, perhaps even more, and I could not imagine once that we could be apart. He had given me a reason to be in this world which had casted me away mercilessly, and striving to stay alive was a feeling I had just started to embrace. I could go as far as stating it was a glimpse of happiness I was experiencing... I wanted to cling onto it with my whole being, sometimes forgetting that nothing was more ephemeral than human joy. There was nothing which would not be lost... And I did not remember.

"Ogawa-kun...!"

I turned around upon hearing a voice calling my name. The second in command, Yamada-san... After how badly he had tried to take advantage of me, we had rarely interacted with each other. In front of Dazai, he acted friendly, but I knew he wanted to be ridden of me after I had humiliated him, the day I had killed my parents.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, poised.

"Actually..." He sighed "I have a pile of paperwork awaiting me, but... Today is my wife's and my anniversary so I did not want to go back late..."

"You are married...!" I exclaimed, astonished.

"I never wear my ring when in the headquarters... Not to trouble her, right? But I am. We even have the most adorable son." He smiled "I met her after that incident... I still can't apologise enough for that day."

"It is too late, now. But I can overlook it, for once."

For the first time, I felt sympathy toward this man I would usually be annoyed about.

"I'll take care of it for you." I smiled back "Please have fun."

"I'll make sure to." He nodded excitedly "Thanks a bunch, Ogawa-kun!"

A bunch...? Well... I watched his back walking away a moment before going into his office. The pile of paperwork was, indeed, a pile, threatening to wither and crash onto the ground at any moment, and I sighed heavily, bringing the documents to Dazai's office where I felt more comfortable. I had been supposed to wait for his return; he would kill me when he would discover I was working overtime... Oh, well... It had been a moment I had not had a warm cup of coffee, anyway.

It was well-past midnight when the door of the office opened. The headquarters were most likely empty, except for the Boss and a few guards doing their night shift. On this floor, this room was the only one where the light was still on. I smiled at my superior, who visibly did not expect seeing me there, and took a sip of my fifth cup of coffee.

"Welcome back, Dazai." I stood up to take his coat off of his shoulders.

"Ogawa...? No wonder you were not at your place..."

He had stopped by, thinking I was waiting for him...? I almost regretted stubbornly staying there to help the second in command out...

"Forgive me for not telling you beforehand..." I apologised "There was still work to do..."

"This is not your job." He stated, taking a look at the papers.

"He..." I paused, thinking I could not reveal the truth about the marriage "... Had important things to take care of."

"Important enough for you to comply?" Dazai raised his two eyebrows "He surely lied to you to leave and have a drink with his friends."

"... Is that so...? My, I'm so stupid..." I did not want to argue and attempted to avoid the subject "Thinking I could have easily read his thoughts..."

"Whatever you are hiding, I'm not going to ask about it if you don't want to talk about it..." He sighed, resigned, and let himself fall onto a couch "To think you'd help him after what he has done to you... That disgusting jerk..."

I was dumb to think he would not find out I was lying...

"You seem especially exhausted, tonight." I noted, taking a seat in front of him "What happened...?"

"Nothing." He dodged the matter "Do you still have a lot to do?"

"There isn't much left..." I told him "I'll hurry so you can cancel my ability and have some sleep yourself."

"Please, do so..." He grumbled lowly.

I sat back at his desk and started reading the different reports. Dazai was not usually so grumpy and tired. Definitely, something was wrong about him, but I knew better than asking him directly. If only I could read his thoughts... I would have been able to tell what bothered him.

Minutes after, his breathing was regular, and I looked up at him, only to see he was gone in deep slumber. Soundlessly, I took his coat from the hanger and draped it over his body to protect him from the cold. Summer had installed itself in Japan, but the nights were still chilly, especially in an office freshened up by air conditioning. Many people had a peaceful face when sleeping, but he... He did not look appeased at all. On the contrary, it appeared sleeping brought his own monsters to the surface of his consciousness and tormented him... I decided not to do anything, judging he, no matter what, did need a good night of rest too. And if nightmares disturbed him, I would act accordingly to the situation. He had often made sure I was sleeping correctly before leaving — I could have felt it — so it was my turn to protect his rest.

I stared at him, leaning my chin onto the back of my hand. He had not budged at all and my paperwork had long been over. I did not believe Dazai could sleep so well; he was more the type to suffer from insomnia. I often wondered, when waking up, what he had been up to during the night. After granting me sleep, did he go back to his impersonal apartment? Or did he wander around Yokohama to have a few drinks? Did he bring women back to his place? The thought coated my cheeks in red and I quickly banned it from my mind. Whatever he did, I was certain he did not get much sleep. I shut off the lights, only to turn on the small lamp on the desk. The sieved light was more relaxing than the main one, and it bathed the room in a comfortable atmosphere. While my superior was soundly asleep, I took a random book from the shelf and started reading it. How to prevent accidental casualties. So this book did exist and he had truly read it. He had not lied, the other day... I felt bad for doubting him, but one had to admit discerning between his acts and his true words was a challenge. When was he serious and when was he playing around? Oda easily understood the shifts in the mood, but I... No, I could not think about his friend anymore. I always ended up frustrated when looking up to this amazing person. I had embarrassingly ranted about my uselessness again, earlier, I could not afford to ridicule myself anymore. I did not want him to look at me like a pitiful thing...

Suddenly, the coat fell from Dazai and landed onto the floor with a muffled noise. I put the book aside to readjust it over his body, but, as I did so, he forcefully grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward him. His one eye was wide opened onto me.

"D-Dazai, you are going to cancel my ability..." I broke the silence, trying to free myself from his grip.

"... Isn't that what I am supposed to do...?" He asked, rather tiredly.

"You fell asleep, I was not going to take advantage of your ability while you were defenceless..." I said "Well, that's what I thought, but you are actually always vigilant about your surroundings..."

"Obviously..." He let me go to rub his face "How long have I been sleeping?"

"Two to three hours, roughly. You should close your eyes again; you were resting so well..."

"What about you? Are you done?"

"I am, don't worry..."

"Then, let's —"

I gently pushed him back to the couch and put his coat back onto him with a slight smile.

"I had some sleep in the afternoon... It's your turn, Dazai..." I declared.

"But your ability... Won't it be a bother?"

"I'll be fine, just think about yourself... Please rest. There are people counting on you to lead them tomorrow..." I told him.

His expression was unreadable, but he adjusted his position so he would be laying on the couch instead of sleeping in a sitting position. His fingers held onto his coat and brought it around his upper body, as though he felt cold, and his eyes closed.

"Goodnight..." I whispered.

"I saw Ango, tonight. We went to the bar." He interrupted my moves.

"Dazai, you should —"

"He was an undercover agent for the government, you know...? And a spy in Mimic for the Port Mafia too..." He chuckled, a bit bitterly "He betrayed us... He betrayed me..."

"I'm sorry..." I had no clue what to say "The three of you were so close as friends..."

"... Come there a bit..." He demanded.

I decided to sit down on the edge of the couch.

"I lost him..." He finally muttered, his voice muffled by the heavy black cloth "I lost Ango... I lost our friendship... I said I was prepared to lose everything I once owned... But I'm not... His loss left a hole somewhere in me... I don't know how to fill it... Am I not pathetic, showing you such a sight...?"

"Not at all..." I hesitatingly patted his shoulder "If anything, I am glad that you could tell me such a thing..."

"You are there... Odasaku is still there too, but for some reasons, I feel so lonely..." He confessed.

What could I do or say to soothe his pain? I did not know... I did not want to pretend I understood the gap he experienced, nor could I come up with classic lines; Dazai did not need them. Dazai did not want me to say "don't worry."

"... I'll always be there..." I reminded him.

But I was not enough.

[letters-from-eros]

The Kingdoms Law

Hello everyone!! Welcome to my blog which is centered around My Hero Academia, Haikyuu and Bungou Stray Dogs. I may add more anime soon and I'll update the rules whenever I do so.

Now, lets go over my rules for requesting for all the fandoms I write for.

NSFW?

I won't do explicit NSFW. AKA full on smut. What I will do is "suggestive" content. Flirting, making out, etc. I'm sure you catch my drift.

How many characters will you do for one headcanon?

My limit is 5. 6 if they're short and I'm feeling generous or I just feel like another character that went unnamed would fit the prompt (I may do this with HC's less than 5 characters listed)

Do you take one-shot requests? What about songfics?

Yes and yes!

Angst and crackfic?

Mhm, both are on the table.

What are characters you won't write for?

I don't read the manga for the anime I watch and write for (because... Reasons. I'll start reading them soon but for now don't judge me) So I won't be any characters that were only introduced in the manga!!

AUs you won't do?

AU wise the only thing I won't do is Omegaverse because I simply don't understand how that one works, and knowing that Omegaverse is mostly used for smut, it doesn't strike me as something worth taking my own time to understand.

Will you work with things that could be seen as triggers?

I won't do prompts centered around self harm, suicide, non-con, p*dophilia, inc*st. For those last 3 see my rule about the fact I don't write smut.

Will you write prompts that center around neurodivergency/mental health.

I'd be more than happy to, as someone who is neuro-divergent. Uncommon illnesses are also on the table because I would love to educate myself more of the topic. I'll also write for physical illnesses to, I don't care if they're "oddly specific"

Will you work for my OCs?

This is a reader insert centric blog, but I would love to hear about your OCs! My ask box is always open to OC talk

Character x Character?

This is a reader insert centric blog, but I wouldn't mind hearing about your ships, otps, etc.

What gender POVs will you write for?

I work most comfortably with gender neutral and female PoVs. If the gender of the reader goes unspecified I'll do Gender Neutral to stay inclusive and all that! My blog is a safe space for everyone!

POC!Reader x Character?

YES YES YES YES YES. I am a person of color, I will definitely write for that kinda thing!! I can capture a hispanic and a black reader's point of view most easily.

You write for girl characters?

Yeah, I'm bisexual so its not hard at all for me to write for any female character lol.

General request rules?

Don't be an asshole, specify if you want something to be a oneshot of Headcanon. If you have requested something I've said was against my rules I have full liberty to deny said request.

How can I check if your requests are open or not?

My bio and I always make a post when I close my requests, and at the end of this rules page it'll specify whether requests are open or not.

You're requests are closed but I just want to say something nice or ask you a question in your ask box, is that okay?

Of course, my ask box isn't just for requests. Send whatever you want in there.

You do matchups?

I used to and I've gotten good at them, but I realized doing those don't bring me that much happiness. I do those on rare occassions now. Milestone specials and the sort.

Will you do prompts like the reader is chubby or has big glasses, etc.

Yes. I will do prompts where the reader's appearance is the prompt.

Rules for requesting Haikyuu

What teams won't you do?

All of the teams are on the table! There are very few characters/teams I feel uncomfortable with, so feel free to send in a request for anyone!

I don't have any specific character in mind for my request prompt. Can you still do it?

Only if your request is a headcanon and if you don't specify any characters I'll go with my favorites which currently are: Sugawara, Oikawa, Asahi, Tsukki. Possibly Kenma and a few others.

Info I should have in mind before requesting

I know I say I don't read manga but I do know what all the boys do as jobs and such post timeskip, so its okay to request that.

Rules for requesting My Hero Academia

I don't have a specific character in mind. Is that alright?

I'll still take the prompt as long as its a headcanon. When I take it I'll probably just go with the main UA boys. Izuku, Katsuki, and Shoto and if I feel like going the extra mile I'll also add Denki, Kirishima and Tenya.

I have a quirk specific ask in mind. Will you do it?

Yeah

Students you won't write for?

Mineta and the extra boys in 1A who get one line a season and names whom I currently can't even remember, plus those who have only been introduced in the manga. I can write for Shinsou though.

Pro heroes?

I won't write for gang orca, Mirko (I'm sorry), Endeavor (The guy makes me uncomfy as hell lmao) The ones I can write for best are the ones who are teachers at 1A

Villains?

I think the only villains whom are off the table is Chisaki and Gentle Criminal. Anyone who is in the LoV is fine.

Info I should have in mind when requesting?

I don't particularly enjoy writing for villains. I can get only a handful of there personalities right for writing with them.

Rules for requesting Bungou Stray Dogs

You said earlier you won't do anything pertaining suicide and self harm, but that's like.. Dazai's biggest personality trait.

Anything pertaining to Dazai is the only exception to this rule.

Characters you won't do?

I won't write for Kenji because he's a literal child, same goes for Kyouka (Unless its a platonic request). I won't write for Fyodor because I don't really understand his character all that well. Fukuzawa for the same reason as Fyodor. Any character who has only been introduced in the manga (I'm catching up on it though!!)

I don't really have any characters in mind for my request. Can I still send it?

Yup! And I'll probably go with my favorite characters who are: Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo and Atsushi.

Port Mafia?

Mostly everyone in the P.M if I can get a good grasp of their personality.

I have an ability specific request in mind, will you take it?

Yup!

Info I should have in mind before requesting

I love these characters more than life itself. If you give me BSD asks I wouldn't hesitate to marry you.

Well, those are my requesting rules, please follow them.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

[living-in-the-state-of-dreaming]

Hi! I recently read your Yandere Chuuya oneshot and loved it! Spot on my dude! Anyway I'd like to request some yandere headcannons for Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, and Akutagawa...How would they react to a pregnant s/o attempting to escape captivity? (She hasn't told him she is pregnant and that's why she's trying to escape)

I’m. So. Sorry for the wait with this. x_x I’ve never written something to do with pregnancy before so this was more than a little challenging to write but I sincerely hope that it was worth the wait. 

Also if some of the mentioned people in these requests have longer parts then the others I’m very sorry. x_x I’m not trying to trick you out of anything.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

Akutagawa is unquestionably merciless and cold when it comes to most things. However, the anger that comes to him when he returns home and finds you trying to escape him will cause him to be enraged. 

He will without a doubt grab you by the collar of whatever you are wearing or a few strands of your hair and drag you back into the room while your cries of pain fall on deaf ears if he’s not wearing his trademark coat. Though if he is wearing his coat then expect to be quickly grabbed by Rashomon, dragged back into the room and pinned to the bed while Ryunosuke simply stares at you with cold eyes that are burning with the silent rage and he will not have Rashomon release you until you explain yourself. 

Though he may appear composed in truth he is absolutely livid that you tried to escape him, and even if he doesn’t say as much it will be in his voice and eyes. Had he not given you everything? Everything that he had done had been for you and yet you try to escape? Perhaps he had been far too lenient with you or maybe he had been simply fooled by how you were behaving that he had allowed you to be unrestrained. After all, he had so far neglected using the chains, the collar, and the handcuffs but if you were going to continue to be stubborn and resist then he would have no choice. 

One of the many punishments was about to come your way since betrayal or things like this were never something that Akutagawa was very forgiving of, especially when it came to you. Losing you was something he would never allow. However, when the words leave your lips with fear twinged and pleading eyes Akutagawa’s thoughts come to a complete stop and for just a moment his eyes widen in stunned skeptic shock. 

Silence. For a long moment that is all, you’re met with. 

Pregnant? You were pregnant with his- His Child? 

Error AkutawaRyunosuke.exe has stopped responding. Please wait a moment as the system tries to restart and reboot.

He’s completely taken aback and unsure what to make of this news and even skeptical, as for a moment the thought that you were only saying such things to avoid your impending punishment comes to him, but the look in your eyes tells him otherwise. Both guilt and regret quickly come to him at how harsh he had been with his aforementioned treatment of you while the two words crawl up his throat and to the tip of his tongue.

Along with this guilt and regret that he has comes anxiety of what that entails and this is one that troubles him greatly. The thoughts of whether or not he is ready to be a father come and stay in his mind constantly since while he has experience with looking after Gin, a baby was a completely different matter and one that he isn’t entirely sure that he’s ready for.

After learning this Akutagawa will take time for himself, leading him to leave the room but not before locking it behind him. During this time he will use this time alone to process the news and you will likely not see him for a few hours or more.

When you do see him in the morning Akutagawa’s uncertainty will still be with him but his demeanor towards you will have changed. He will be more careful towards you and more awkward around you and this is something that is very easily seen when he brings you breakfast the next morning and his body language will seem stiffer. It will only be when you give him reassuring words or touches that he will visibly relax, before just sitting there with you for a while.

Sometimes his eyes will just drift to your stomach and his eyes will just stay on your stomach for a while, while his eyes unconsciously and noticeably soften. If you notice this and tease him about it; his cheeks will darken with an embarrassed blush and he’ll quickly look away, and while he won’t deny it he won’t confirm it either.

Akutagawa will undoubtedly grow even more protective and possessive over you the longer this news sets in, this is something that both he and Atsushi have in common. However, while Atsushi is like a tiger protecting its mate from any danger that poses a threat to them; Akutagawa is like a wolf, baring its fangs and viciously tearing apart any who dare try touching his mate. The fangs will come in the form of the glares that will be seen in his eyes if anyone tries anything with you while you are on an outing; whether it be just a walk through the park at night or to a doctors appointment and it goes without saying that whoever's dumb enough to try to lay a hand on you with ill intent; will be met by those vicious claws in the form of Rashomon, as they tear the fool to shreds without hesitation.

This is something the poor doctor who takes your appointments is not exempt from either, especially if this doctor happens to be a male. The entire time that doctor is giving you a checkup and checking the progress and health of the baby Aktuagawa’s eyes will be watching his every move and if his hands linger a little too long for his liking, his eyes will shift into a glare which will make the poor guy noticeably flinch. Honestly just see a female doctor it’s better for everyone that way. 

Atsushi Nakajima

Atsushi’s response to you trying to escape will be a mixture of self-hatred and desperation. This mix is only pushed on by his obsessive desire and need that he feels to protect you. It goes without saying that Atsushi has never felt much self-worth, he knows that you could do far better than him and that he doesn’t deserve you but at the same time he knows how horrible and cruel this world is, but that will not stop the tears from coming to and from his eyes as he begs you to stay; while he only just holds himself back from grabbing you and holding you to him to keep you from leaving him behind. There are so many people outside that could hurt you or worse! People exactly like the port mafia and he only wants to keep you safe! Isn’t it normal to want to protect the one you love?? You love him too so why won’t you let him??

Along with this mixture is confusion. Why? Why are you trying to escape? You were safe with him, he loved you so much and he’d happily give you anything. He’d wait on you hand and foot if you so desired. He’d do anything for the person who had made him feel wanted and loved for the first time in his life.

Silence would come to Atsushi as he sits next to you having locked the front door upon entering it again and this confusion and frustration will push and pull at him to ask and to demand why you tried to leave. 

When the confession comes from your lips Atushi will be stunned into silence like Akutagawa and for a moment he will just look at you with his lips parted in a small o. In that silence he will be trying to read your expression almost to see if you were lying but then again he knows you wouldn’t lie about something so big, he knew you, that wasn’t like you. 

Pregnant? W-With his baby? You were pregnant with his baby? 

Hearing this will cause his confusion to come to him again, first beginning with why would you want to leave if you were pregnant before the other questions came to his head. Was he ready to be a father??? The very thought made his head spin with confusion and concern. The aspect of being someone's father had never been something that Atsuhi had ever considered. What if he messed up? What if he wasn’t good enough as a father to the child? What if-?? All of these questions that spin around in his head will be joined by the most pressing question. What if this child inherited his ability? 

However at the end of all this one thing seems to reassure him and that’s the fierce will he had to protect you except now it isn’t just you who he wants to protect, but the child inside of you too. Even if the aspect of being a father scares him beyond belief and the possibilities that he would be a horrible father makes him incredibly nervous and worried he knows that there is nothing he can do except try. Despite this worry though, there are no words for how happy he is to learn this.

After he learns of your pregnancy Atsushi’s protectiveness of you will only increase. He is a tiger after all and tigers are always protective over their mates, especially when they’re pregnant with their cubs, however, his obsession with you causes him to be a little overbearing at times to the point where it’s close to smothering, even when you both go out for your appointments. 

Chances are that he will call into the Agency a few times from the desire and need he has to be near you and make sure that you are always comfortable, but when he is at work and on the job Atsushi’s thoughts will be on you constantly.

When at home there’s nothing that Atsushi enjoys more than being curled up next to you on the couch while you are snuggled up in a blanket that he had earlier got you while you either watch TV or just a movie that you wanted to watch. At first he was shy and extremely embarrassed to ask if he could rub your stomach; but after asking a few times even after you said yes it will become second nature to Atsushi and when the baby kicks Atsushi will be unable to keep from gazing at your stomach with both love, awe and amazement at the thought of a child made from the two of you is growing inside of you right now.

Don’t be surprised if you both end up falling asleep with his hand still on your stomach, while his free arm which had transformed into that of a tigers is wrapped around you; the action will seem tender and loving but it will also be to keep you from escaping should you even attempt to do so again.

Osamu Dazai

Given just how perceptive Dazai is it’s very bold of you to even assume that you can hide anything from Dazai, much less the fact that you are pregnant with his child. 

Out of the four of them, it’s extremely likely that Dazai would have already picked up on the signs and put the pieces together, leading him to come to the conclusion himself before you even tell him

On one side he’s hurt that you’d feel the need to hide this from him, but the other is also understanding especially since you hadn’t exactly come into this relationship willingly. 

He’ll continue to act oblivious to this fact and play it off as if everything is normal but every so often he’ll ask you while dropping little hints but never coming right out and saying it, which will lead you to guess if he knows constantly to yourself.

While he does this conflict will be occurring in himself as well. Having children had never been something that he had never considered or really thought about after all his wish was to one day leave this mortal coil and the person he desires to do just that with one day was you. Yet now you were pregnant with his child. This makes him feel conflicted as he does not want to leave this child alone to fend for themselves should he follow through with his desires; as he knows just how cruel this world can be, especially if you have to go through that by yourself. 

Maybe this child could be another source of light and warmth for him just like you are to him. A means for him to find some hope in this world that in the past has given him nothing but darkness, one that he still fights within himself and at times comes to the surface, like his obsession with you.

These thoughts continue to go around in his head as he makes his way home after finally being allowed to come home to you, however when he finds the door unlocked and you nowhere in sight one big torrent of emotions go through him beginning from worry, to panic to fear and then a rage that’s followed by the desire to make whoever took you wish they were dead; only to draw out their suffering before ending their miserable lives for daring to even attempt to take you from him. 

However, as he takes more things into account such as the lack of signs of a struggle and the lack of evidence that leads to that, Dazai comes to another realization. One that will fill him with disappointment and hurt but his anger will not fade. You’d left on your own accord, though he isn’t too worried, he’d find you. He’d always find you and the fact that he knew you down the last detail including your thought process and where you’d likely be it doesn’t take long until he does. 

Once he finds you he’ll greet you with a perfectly innocent smile but one look in his eyes lets you know that that’s just a visage and it’s not long after that he informs you that he knew. He knew everything all along. 

As much as he would love to give you one of his very creative punishments he doesn’t want to harm your child in any way and so he lets you off easily and by the look in his eyes when you get home you know to consider yourself lucky.

While he won’t keep you restrained after your little stunt Dazai’s watch over you will become more intense, and every time you go to an appointment, he is always there; playing the role as the perfect and friendly boyfriend to everyone around you, including the doctor. Should you act hesitant to the point where you begin to draw suspicion from the doctor; the look that he’ll send you for just a moment when no one is looking and the dark curl of a smirk that will appear as an all too familiar warning will quickly change your behavior like a switch as you know full well what awaits if you choose to stir Dazai’s temper. 

However, on a lighter note Dazai’s affectionate, tender and loving side will come out more and he’ll feel relieved at no longer having to act oblivious to the fact that his darling is pregnant. He’ll happily call in sick under the notion that you aren’t feeling well that morning and he has to take care of you but he’ll do this just so he can spend more alone time with you.

Your lack of energy due to your pregnancy will be something that he will take complete advantage of and a majority of these moments will be spent wrapped in Dazai’s embrace as he holds you close to him and cuddles you. He’s not the best cook and is usually lazy but if you ask him to cook you up something easy like instant ramen a well as bring you a glass of orange juice he’ll happily do that for you while making himself up a cup of instant ramen himself, before getting back into bed with you and enjoying his ramen there while you both just relax and enjoy tv. After all, since he’s been dosing your food with that sleeping medicine that he plucked off the shelf on the hospital; due to using his skilled hands why wouldn’t he enjoy every moment without worry.

Chuuya Nakahara

Please for the love of cheese give the Bitter lil Espresso kids. He really wants them, especially with his darling.

If there is ever a moment where his darling is around kids and those gentle and warm smiles come to their expression while they interact with them; a warm feeling will settle in his chest and it will only push on this desire to have them with you someday.

However when you begin to be constantly sick this warm feeling that had started in his chest once again as he found himself thinking back on it to himself will quickly change to concern. At first, he’ll think it’s just a stomach virus that’s going around but then he notices how strange your so-called virus was. You were throwing up constantly. 

As the pieces click together the longer this continues he’ll feel like this is way too good to be true, making him skeptical at first. Chuuya will ask you if you were alright in spite of knowing the answer as a means to push and encourage you to tell him but when you choose not to tell him and instead just give him an excuse that you think is believable others he’ll leave it alone for the time being and just wait until you decide to tell him yourself. 

However, while he is at work his thoughts will be all over the place from the prospect of possibly being a father and then shifting to the possibility that he was just overthinking this and blowing it out of proportion. Sure he wanted kids but that didn’t mean that he didn’t have his doubts and worries, having a parent who's in the Port Mafia wasn’t exactly the ideal parent for any child after all. Still, the thought of having a family with you is and has always been something that Chuuya has secretly wished for, but this is something that he will never admit to anyone but you.

After being cooped up inside with meetings and documents all day all Chuuya wanted was to go home and relax with you, in fact, the thought of seeing you made a soft smile grace his expression for just a moment, the smile he would only ever reserve for you. However, he comes home to find you have not only broken the window but were trying to escape out of it his blood runs cold as the smile completely leaves his expression. 

Fucking hell he thought you were over this! Instantly Chuuya will make a b line for you, grabbing ahold of your arm and pulling you back inside while being very careful not to injure you on the glass. Both hurt and seething from anger Chuuya will be seething inside as he’ll look at you with only barely held back anger in his eyes. If you don’t give him an honest answer then and there his anger will flare to the point where his ability will activate all while his grip stays on the wrist that he had pulled you back inside with. He won’t hurt you but he will use it to hold you down if you insist on being stubborn and not tell him the truth. 

When you do and the answer that a part of him already knew comes to his ears Chuuya’s eyes widen for just a moment before his eyes soften, so you were pregnant. He knew it. All the signs had pointed to that after all, but still, if you were pregnant then why the hell were you trying to leave him? He knew that your relationship wasn’t exactly healthy but everything he’d done had been for you, this was all to protect you, he loved you down to his very marrow and yet you still tried escaping? Again? After all this time?

Due to how hurt he feels over this it will lead Chuuya to become cold towards you for the rest of the night, and should you try to earn his trust again he will be a little bit suspicious at first but soon he’ll begin to relax, after all as much as you hurt him by trying to escape, he could never hate or stay mad at you for too long, those smiles and touches that you gave him made it near impossible for him to and soon enough things will return to ‘normal’ as his warm and passionate side will surface once more. 

Gentle kisses on your cheek and forehead while you sit on his lap while he enjoys a glass of wine on the sofa as you watch tv will be like heaven to him, but not quite as much as knowing that you, his queen were pregnant with his child. Even if he is busy at work he will always make time for you, if you want him to pick up something for you be it food, drink or other things he’ll get it for you on his way home or he’ll stop in when he has time for the purpose of giving you what you asked for and if it’s for an appointment to cheek up on the baby Chuuya will always ensure that he is able to make it to them.